#probably bpd

[bpdshithole]

[lovesick-angels-blog]

Did I do something to upset you? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please come back. I miss you. I'm sorry.

[pyrosex]

I’m the least successful person in my family

[colorlessrose]

I ruined everything

AGAIN

Everything hurts. My face is burning. I can't stop crying. I want to scream until my lungs are raw. I want to go back in time and kill myself before I have the chance to fuck this up. I want to drive off a cliff. I want to quit everything and go die in the woods. I want to go back and give my mom an abortion. I want to claw my own face off. I want to punch myself in the face until I black out. I want to go stand in the middle of the freeway. I want to erase myself from reality. I want to do so many drugs at once that it either kills me or fries my brain to mush. I want to be admitted to a psych ward and locked in a basement and left for dead. I want to lay in a field and let the earth consume me.

I have to leave this job. I have to move out. I can't show my face anywhere in this town again. I have to cancel my cell phone and delete my number and vanish. I have to slice all my tattoos off of my skin so they can't identify my body and the few people that still care about me being alive can have hope I'm out there somewhere.

[gayfandomnerd225]

One person being slightly rude to me feels like the end of the world and I hate myself. I hate everything. I fucking hate myself

[manicbeans]

my girlfriend's emotions make me feel like I'm dying uhhhhh what's that called

[poetryfromnowhere]

Do you want some schmeddar schmeese on your fucking schmeese jurger???

*fuckin dieds*

[mosslistic]

Me resisting the urge to block all my friends

[glitt3rf0rbr4inz]

He dont like me back and now I wanna isolate myself and never talk to anyone ever again cuz of course he wouldn't like me, no one does. And I think my friend is mad at me for this thing I made it was stupid idk im pretty sure everyone just hates me and wants me to kill myself

woah this got dark fast sorry LMAO

[bpdshithole]

[lovesick-angels-blog]

How could you ever understand the anger I feel? My anger makes me crave blood and pain. I want to tear open my body and consume the blood pouring out. I need to feel something. Anything but anger. I've been angry for too fucking long. I'm going fucking insane.

[fossys]

behold; how the public sees cluster b personality disorders

-"omg haha ur crazy thats so hot"

-evil abuser disorder 1

-evil abuser disorder 2

-"whats that?"

[pyrosex]

I know this sounds stupid as all hell but back in the day I was really upset that my friends were watching certain cartoons and I wasn’t, I felt left out but instead of fixing the problem and watching the shows I did nothing about it and just moped, now I feel like all that time feeling sorry for myself made me lose out on time I could have used fixing it, I actually have unmedicated ADHD so it makes it super difficult to commit to things even simple stuff like watching TV, I know this sounds stupid but I feel so alone and regretful

I was also in a really shitty place during these events where everybody treated me like shit, so it might’ve contributed

[colorlessrose]

I think I just had an extremely short manic episode?? Or something akin to that??

I walked away from that conversation and almost immediately was hit with the dread. Had I said something hurtful? Had I said too much? Had I bothered them? I actually went back in and had to make sure I didn't do anything wrong. They were very kind about it and everything was fine but now I feel bad I had to ask at all.

Why do I just get like this? So full of energy to the point I'm not thinking through what I say? And then immediately after hit with the fear and guilt of what probably just happened? This isn't within the definition of mania. I think this is just emotional dysregulation.

Why can't I just be one person all the time? Why do I vascillate from hyperactive and talking before thinking, to introspective and guilt ridden and deeply depressed, to dissociated and detached? Why can't I just stay consistent? Why can't I just be normal?

[gayfandomnerd225]

My mood switches so quickly. An hour ago I was literally crying over the idea of continuing to live my life (my 18th birthday was yesterday and the idea of living for so much longer seemed exhausting). And now I’m literally searching for houses for sale/apartments for rent in my city because I’m suddenly excited to grow up and finish high school and post secondary