#procreate SUCKS i hate it so much but it was all i had i was on the road

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

his drippiest majesty

[moonsidesong]

i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.

like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving

[steeklover]

You guys sleep on their friendship too much 😔

Time-laspe (I tried to download the video and attach it to this post but I think it was too big and my computer is tired because it won't download. That is the link, you can watch it if you'd like too, I know I like to watch art time-laspes. It is around fifteen minutes though, I didn't know how to make it any faster so there's your warning)

(Okay so I'm just now realizing that the part of the video where I used actually colors got cut off 😐And I can't even fix it because I've already deleted the clip off my computer and emptied my recycle bin. I'm so upset now, I'm sorry 😭😭I'm not a tech savy person at all)

You don't have to read this if you don't want to, it's more of an artist's note to myself. If you want to know more of my thought process while doing this then you can read it though.

First, I just want to give credit to the base I used!

Second, I used Krita to draw and Canva to put the video together. I've never really used another drawing app/software thing before (I've used Procreate a few times on my sister's IPad but it's not like I'm going to draw anything South Park on there) so I don't really have anything to compare it too. It's free though so... how much better can you get. The only thing I don't like about it so far is that the fill tool kind of sucks but it's not too bad, you just have to go over the edges to get a solid color (at least from my experience). And I've been using Canva for a while now, I've put together a few videos before but not in a while so I was a little rusty. The only thing I don't like about that is that I have to pay for an upgrade if I want to download a long video.

I started trying to draw seriously in April and now it's July so it's been like two months (?). I haven't posted anything since May I think but I've still been drawing a lot, I just haven't finished anything worth posting up until today.

I started out drawing this thinking it was going to be bad. Then about halfway through I thought it might actually turn out alright. Then I finished it and I kind of hate it. I think it would be much better if I practiced shading and textures but I'm too lazy for that, at least for now.

I hardly know anything about art, whether it be digital or traditional. I don't know anatomy, color theory, perspective, none of it. You can see on the time-lapse that I basically traced the base I used, did the faces and clothes and then colored it and that took me ALL DAY! Granted I had breaks like when I made my lunch and ran over to my grandma's house but other than that, I've been working on this piece (along with Stan but I did most of Stan yesterday, I just colored him this morning).

I have mad respect for every single artist out there because this is so hard... but for some reason I want to keep doing it. I know it's going to be super satisfying to look back on my art work from two years ago and see how much I've improved (hopefully I've improved, please tell me I'll improved)

As you can probably tell, I didn't get everything in the time-laspe. Recording the process was so hard, I tried to do it with Stan yesterday but I barely knew what I was doing and I kept getting called by my mom to do stuff so I had to keep pausing and un-pausing so I gave up and tried again today. I think my computer is worn out by working all day because not only have I been drawing on it all day but I have also been editing the video all day. I really like when artists post time-laspes though because it gives me an idea of their process and it's really nice to watch.

But anyway, I ended up giving Jason eyeliner because one) he's metro, two) I headcanon him wearing eyeliner (same thing with Tweek) and three) he needed a little something MORE to him, if that makes sense. I orginally wasn't going to give him eyeliner because I was afraid he would look too much like Tweek but once the picture was done, I decided they wouldn't look too similar. I also gave Tweek and Jason both freckles because for Jason, it's canon and for Tweek, it's my headcanon for him. You probably can't tell that Tweek has freckles because I made them really faint (on purpose) and I like to think he'd only have a few on his cheeks and nose. I gave Jason a lot though because I'm pretty sure that's how it is in the show. Lastly I forgot to color Jason's shirt in so that's everything that's not on the video.

I think the hardest thing for me was the eyes and the clothes. I have a love-hate relationship drawing eyes. I love looking at how different people draw their eyes but when it comes to drawing my own eyes... yikes 😬Also I think it's the facial proportions that might make this seem off, I think I have a bad habit of making the eyes too big but that's what I've been doing ever since I was a little kid so now if I make the eyes small, it just looks off. And again, I didn't do anything shading so it probably makes the picture look flat. Plus I have no idea what I'm doing.

I also usually have a hard time drawing hair but today I had a pretty easy time doing it. I was really surprised. Also another headcanon of mine for Tweek is that he has platinum blonde hair. I love platinum blonde hair and just blonde hair in general and his hair is SO YELLOW, I feel like if he was older than he'd dye it. Also they are both teens in this picture.

Tweek looks really pasty here, I tried to give him pale skin but I didn't mean for it to be THAT pale.

I think that's all I have to say. If you read this and have any tips for me, I'd love to hear them. I'd love to redraw this in a few months or maybe in a year if I decide to keep drawing, I know there's defiently room for improvement.

Despite all the complaining I just did, I don't HATE this picture per say. I really like my art style, it's simple but cute (imo of course). I feel like if I learned more about shading and learn how to draw faces and clothes better than I'd do a lot better. I think Stan was a lot cuter but this is cute too.

Lastly, ignore the two random dots if you find them, I'm too tired to fix this.

Anyway, if you read all of this, I really appreciate you! Have a great day/night! ❤️❤️

[peacheskoo]

Ooh 4 or 9 for the ask game? :O

I’ll answer both!

For number 4, I think both c!dream and c!technoblade are horrible for me to draw since I can never really get down with a single design. They’ve had different designs on almost all my drawings, there’s just so many good designs for both of them out there and I love it so much but I hate it when I sit down to draw them!

Number 9 is a weird one, since I use procreate I don’t really do any naming but when I do name files or folders I try and do memes or all capital letters names! My dsmp folder name is literally “ SUCK IT GREEN BOOOOIIIIIIIIIII” and I love it!

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

Copy/Pasted from my other pages, a little update on my art and mental health, and wanted to leave my situation on a slightly more positive note than this morning.

So my Apple Pencil/stylus has died for good today. I've been having issues with it for months now, and today was officially it's last day. There's nowhere nearby to take it for repairs, and I'm more than likely not going to be able to send it away to be repaired. I've had this thing since 2019, and in the past three years it has served me incredibly well. I won't be able to reopen any commissions until I either get it replaced or figure out how to mimic my style on Procreate in a different program. Replacement is definitely not going to happen any time soon, especially so close to Christmas, so idk when I'll be comfortable with my art in FireAlpaca or SAI2 again. Pretty much all of my WIPs on my iPad are going to remain unfinished for a while.

I'm very upset at the moment, not just from my stylus. A lot of stuff has happened over the past few years, this has been the worst year yet, and all of it is making me reconsider every step I've taken as an artist. I'm not well, I haven't been well for years, and I won't be well for many many more. I don't really have a good way to vent nor anyone I feel safe with to vent to, and I don't really know how express what I'm feeling on my own. I don't make vent art because I hate how it makes me feel, plus I can barely bring myself to pick up a pencil when I'm like this anyways. And while I can still write in a state like this, writing about my problems just makes me spiral further into depression, anxiety and paranoia. I literally have a doc titled "Why My Life Sucks, From Before I Was Born to Now." If that isn't unhealthy idk what is. This situation particularly stings right now. Yesterday I made my list of what I wanted to do in 2023 in an attempt to feel more positive and hopeful about my future, but I've already been set back before the new year even started. I'm not at risk of hurting myself or others, but ngl it'd be pretty nice to simply not exist right about now.

Sorry if this was a downer to read, but I wanted to give an update on my art situation and let everyone know what my headspace is like atm. For what its worth, I'm not "giving up" in any sense of the phrase. I'm definitely taking a break from any serious work on my stories or reopening commissions, but not forever. I'll still be making silly doodles and reacquainting myself with my screen tablet and FireAlpaca or SAI2. I have a lot of editing I want to do so I can update my deco and themes for my pages and blogs. And I've also realized there's also a lot of writing requests building up on my fanfiction blog, so I could also tackle that. Even though it feels like positivity has brought my life nothing but negativity, I'm still trying. I've been a pretty decent therapist for myself after all these years, why would I stop now lol

Happy holidays everyone 💖

[sloaaaa]

i just need to put my thoughts about my ipad somewhere rq

ik i really hated the switch from csp to procreate at first but it's really grown on me now! i find that using my ipad is Way better for my posture and ever since i swapped to it i haven't had to wear my wrist brace yet :0 even when drawing for hours at a time! and i never feel the strain on my shoulders and neck anymore!!

i'm really glad i decided to give the ipad and procreate a chance, especially now that i'm in college again and pretty much always on the move. it's nice to have my ipad w me when i have those two hour breaks in between classes -w-

it was really scary at first how expensive everything was :'3 and also i kinda really suck at adjusting to changes so i really hated,, pretty much everything about the ipad and procreate when i first picked it up. it felt like a huge waste w how unsatisfied i felt whenever i used it. but bit by bit i started to really see how nice it all was :]]

the very first thing jumping at me being the setup time. when it came to csp and my laptop there were so many steps to just opening the program that it became a whole chore task in itself. i had to go to my assigned Computer Area in the house, i had to open up the lappytoppy, i had to sign in, to power on the drawing tablet, to wait for everything to load, to open csp, hit new file and figure out all the canvas settings. but when it came to the ipad the whole boot up process felt so streamlined, i just use my fingerprint then open up procreate and open up my template (i always have duplicates of templates ready for this exact purpose) then i'm ready to go right away.

another thing was the lasso tool. csp would close your lasso as soon as you lift your pen but procreate would let you draw your selection in multiple strokes and i really loved that.

anyway idk what i wanted to do w this post ahah. i hope y'all are able to also find a setup that works for you :] ty for reading mwah

[anotherfauxredhead]

Celeb News/Gossip Is SO Pronatalist

It's one of the pitfalls when I subject myself to celebrity gossip: WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on who's pregnant and who's having a kid. Naturally, the baby rumors/stories will always be on female celebs. Case in point: see header pic. (Side note: that's nice that Jen Aniston chose to be childfree, but I hear she follows IG hate accounts that mock Amber Heard and Meghan Markle and for that she sucks. Team Jolie forever!) Very double standard, I know. You'll never see tabloid stories on Leo DiCaprio "FINALLY A FATHER!" Maybe on an April 1st cover of US Weakly. (Get it?)

And while messy breakups can make for fun gossip, IMO it's less fun when a baby is involved. The whole Keke Palmer drama with her baby daddy pulling this dumb shit last month (which led to Keke rightfully dumping his ass) was amusing, but it's a shame that she also had a baby with him. I also remember how some people were stoked that she was going to be a mom, but who knew the baby daddy would turn out to be such a shit person.

I cannot be the only one going "whyyyyy" when some celeb chooses to procreate in this shit era. I know celebs are out-of-touch AF, but for those having kids since Covid began, since Jan. 6th happened, and since Roe v Wade got overturned, is straight up fucking ignorant of them. (A few celebs I like have done this, which is a damn shame.) No amount of money and nannies is gonna protect a celebrity's child from ongoing society ailments like climate change, pandemics, mass shootings, selfish assholes, and heinous conservative ideals propagated by crusty white fossils. Oh, but that pop singer's baby is soooo cute! others say. Usually mombies. I should know because many of my co-workers are moms and when they're not looking at soul-sucking TikToks on their phones, they read tabloids. It's no surprise that mombies eat up celeb gossip like candy.

I've heard rumors that all the major weekly rags are owned by companies that also promote right-wing/conservative ideals. That could definitely explain why there's always this emphasis on female celebs being "PREGNANT!" and the "Happy Family Life!" of so-and-so female celeb and her kids. Never a thing about male celebs and their kids and family, but they'll publish PR-driven puff pieces about wife beaters and abusers, though.

[queenscharacters]

"Do you think I'll be a good mom? Like... good enough to make her really happy?" Lemon to Dom

“Oh, baby,” Dom’s voice was soft, sad. He understood her self doubt (how couldn’t he, when he felt the same thing all the time), but it still upset him. He knew recovery wasn’t linear, nor was he expecting it to be. He just wanted Lemon to be happy - and, arguably more importantly, healthy.

“Not only do I think you’re going to be the best mother to our girl…” He began, trying not to get emotional himself. Everything was still so new for him. He was still trying to make sense of what his life had become and if he was even deserving of it. “I hate that you never could be the mom Isla needed and deserved. I know you would’ve been and I know you would‘ve been just as amazing to her as you’d be to our future kid, and any potential siblings we might give them.”

Dominic’s lower lip began to tremble, he could feel the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He tried to blink them away. He wasn’t trying to make this situation about him, or his dead child, but he was trying to make Lemon see what she clearly couldn’t. That she was so much more than she or several others gave her credit for.

“I know bad moms, okay? My own sucked and, unfortunately, I procreated with another. You are so far from either of them, or other shitty ones out there, Lem…” Dom gave her a gentle, but encouraging smile. “Our baby is going to know so much love and happiness. And yeah, I’m going to contribute to that…but I wouldn’t be surprised if all our children favored you. I would, if I was them.”

[kalloway]

anyone else finding it literally impossible to work on things these days?

I either don’t draw at all, or I do but can’t get far into a drawing before I lose all interest, and it has resulted in October being the most unproductive month I’ve had this year. And last year. And the year before that.

...maybe it’s just the season???

[zoobus]

I hate that "Machines as a parable for chattel slavery" trope so much, I wish sci-fi writers would stop writing that shit.

[context - I mentally reject Star Trek: TNG's early attempts to use Data as a metaphor for chattel slavery. Because it's stupid, it doesn't make sense, it's forced/barely an analogy, it's heavy handed, I simply pretend it's not happening]

^^^ I feel soooo irritated every time chattel slavery analogies in sci-fi/fantasy discourse pops up because the discussion inevitably focuses on how racist the creator is for daring to write the analogy (frankly it often comes across as anger at writing slavery at all, which is...bad take) and NOT on the far bigger issue which is that it's almost always bad writing! It sucks! If I had maximum king powers, I would enact a ban on chattel slavery narrative metaphors in fiction because

In a world where the Atlantic slave trade canonically happened...mankind has invented a new class - clones/androids/robots/some kind of human lookalike that's legally not a human.

Our hero is the only one brave enough to ask "this is kind of like historical US chattel slavery, don't you think?" His loved ones balk and bristle at their treasonous talk - "In what way is an entity that was built rather than stolen or trafficked, that likely cannot procreate (and thus cannot mimick the unique chattel trait of generational ownership), and can only (or at least primarily) act via explicit commands -thus making their lack of/limited autonomy intrinsic to the entity - comparable to the Atlantic slave trade? Realistically society wouldn't just copy paste Jim Crow laws for this kind of thing, like cybersecurity and tech laws were already becoming distinct issues in the 21st century. Even if we agree they're both the same definition of personal property, our relationships should be different in a way that makes the comparison sort of shallow? I'm not even saying our relationship to robots or whatever is inherently more ethical or ethical at all, I'm saying it doesn't sound like you've thought about this past the most superficial level How could you compare clones/androids/robots/some-kind-of human-lookalike-that's-legally-not-a-human to slavery?! Slavery is evil! We learned about slavery in history class. It was very bad. Why would the government teach us slavery is bad if this is slavery? I treat Miss Mammytron like family!"

It's up to our hero to free the slaves or unite the oppressed or wake up the sheeple. To remind the audience that slavery? It's bad. Not sure if you were aware. Wasn't sure if we were all on the same page re: the ethics of owning humanoids with some amount of free will as personal property but yeah it's not great :/

I didn't say the story's title but it popped into your head, didn't it ;)

[spoonatic]

Ok hi Squid game Spoilers beyond this point but here’s some non comprehensive and scatter brained thoughts on the ending and some character analysis:

Ok first of all, the ending kinda sucked balls when the reveal was the old man. I wasn’t a fan idk why it just took away SO much from the 6th ep for me I think it was bc I no longer felt the punch of the 6th ep knowing he was the villain

HOWEVER the lesson he taught Gi-hun was good I enjoyed that he lost and died and It made Gi-hun realize he needed to get his shit together because there still ARE good people in the world and he was gonna b one of them so it made sense for him to go back to his roots because he’s always been like, a fundamentally good person. Despite his choice with the old man, that’s fight or flight in the marble game, he was running on pure animalistic will to survive and even then he still felt the impacts.

Anyways the twist was odd, also I called black mask being the brother like 3 eps in, and I hate how the cop was killed and I’m very upset about that I liked him ESPECIALLY since The front man had no payback for that which upsets me a lil but whatever, Also he stands as a showcase to the path Gi-him COULDVE took since they both won and there was a chance for Gi-hun to use the money he won for evil or turn into one of those rich VIPS, but he didn’t because he’s always been a good person which I appreciate. I liked his true ending tho with the uh,,plane plan. I want him to fuck shit up oh my god I want him to go apeshit and use it as therapy to find peace.

Now on Sangwoo I feel like he was the most interesting character ESPECIALLY to his end I have so many thoughts on that. Most of his choices can be seen as painting him as a ‘bad person’ BUT I DONT THINK THATS THE CASE AT ALL! Ep 1 Sangwoo and Ep 8 Sangwoo are completely different people, he’s succumb to greed and sheer animalistic will to survive because he was quite literally constantly in fight or flight (the bed scene ep 8 where he just sits w the knife) and by the end he’s both exhausted and determined and I think he lets Gi-hun get to him in his last moments BUT I ALSO THINK HIS DEATH IS A HUGE FUCK YOU TO THE VIPS! All of his actions in the show have been a calculated plan to survive, I truly don’t think he would’ve killed anybody had he not been as desperate and fearful of his life outside as well as inside. I think his death was a big middle finger to the VIPS essentially ruining their game because they WANTED to see fighting and blood lust and he didn’t give them the thirsty desperation they wanted in his final moments, he basically said ‘this is the ONE thing I can control in this situation and you can’t take it from me’ and so basically he said fuck you and died and I think that was him going back to his true roots from ep 1. Anyways I love him still and I know he did fucked up things but I think he was still a good person, jsut driven by desperation and fear and I feel bad for him. Anyways I really fucking loved this show I have so many thoughts and I’m found family-ing this so much in my procreate and google docs rn

[therealvinelle]

I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space. 

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. 

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe. 

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. 

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Request!! I think this is in the lines of parenting but having a kid with lucifer 👉🏼👈🏼 I love him I’m such a simp

Pairing these two together because they’re pretty much the same thing. Thank you for requesting! 

First Born (Lucifer x F!Reader)

WARNING : (Pregnancy, Babies, Children)

 A child!? A baby?! You want one of those… those things? They’re messy and irritating and they have absolutely no use to him. Why? Why would you want to do that to yourself, why would you want to do that to him? Are his brothers not enough like children already? Go take care of one of them, they’ll gladly keep you busy with their child-like behavior, and you won’t even have to ask. Better yet, you could take care of Cerberus if you want to be motherly and nurture something. Please, be his guest. That’s one less thing that he’d have to jam pack into his daily schedule. 

“It’s not for those reasons, Lucifer. I want a child with you, it’ll bring us closer. Don’t you think?” Was that a legitimate question that you’d like the answer to, because he was quite sure that you wouldn’t like what he had to say. He didn’t want to actually hurt your feelings, that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of him, and he prided himself in being one of the more gentlemanly of his brothers, so he just shook his head, burying his face back in the work stack that Lord Diavolo had given him. If he just ignored you, you would leave and give up on the topic, that’s what usually worked with Mammon. What he wasn’t expecting was what you’d say next as you stood up from the chair, still smiling to yourself. “Well, I guess it’s too late to ask those questions anyway.” 

What was that supposed to mean? His head snapped up from his desk, watching as you walked toward the door. Too late to ask those questions? He shook his head, grumbling to you as you reached the door. “That’s not very funny, Y/N. I don’t take jokes like that lightly.” He didn’t, it wasn’t something that you shouldn’t joke about, and he didn’t need that kind of stress when he was surrounded by it on the daily anyway, he thought you’d have enough common sense to respect that. 

It wasn’t a joke though, and he found that out a month later. Yes, you had been telling him over and over that you weren’t joking at all, but of course, he didn’t want to believe it. The thought of a child repulsed him, it made him gag. What use would a child be to him, other than taking away the already sparse time that he had with you. They would be of no use at all, only a hindrance in your relationship. 

You hadn’t gotten that god forsaken monthly waterfall of blood, and at first he thought that he had just miscalculated… but you usually got it at the same time every month. You weren’t complaining about cramps or the usual things that seemed to bother you, and unbeknownst to you, annoy the hell out of him. Now you were just… emotional? He didn’t understand it, not at all. It’s not that he knew nothing about women, he knew the basics, but this was all new to him. 

When you had run into his office crying at one point, he was ready to kill someone. Who had hurt you? He’d handle them immediately. “I saw a picture of a kitten and it was just so cute!” Then you started sobbing, and… what the hell is your problem? Why are you crying so hysterically over a kitten? It’s an animal, what? Did you want one? Would that make you feel better? He doesn’t understand. Please explain to him what is going on. His eyes watched with nothing but confusion as you wiped your tears, smiling softly up at him and shaking your head. “Sorry about that. I’ll go.” And you did. You left just as quickly as you had entered, as if none of that had happened. You were giving him emotional whiplash. 

He tried to find excuses for literally everything, and most things he could find excuses for. Not getting your period? It was just your body changing in reaction to the Devildom, he read that sometimes that happens, bodies change when they’re in a different setting or what not. You crying over almost anything and pretty much everything? Hormones are strange, women are strange emotional beings. Maybe you just like to cry a lot? Or maybe you just miss home and you’re crying about that and blaming it on other things. 

Everything had a reason, everything had a logical explanation that pointed to everything but… pregnancy. That couldn’t happen, not just because he didn’t want it to happen, but because it just wasn’t biologically possible. Your bodies were two completely different things, different beings. It shouldn’t have happened. What he couldn’t find a reason for though was the now constant puking that seemed to hit you every day, the same time of day as if it was following its own schedule. Were you ill? No. Were you running a fever? No. Had you eaten something that had gone bad? No. What was wrong with you then? By the fifth day worry had set in. Was it a reaction to the Devildom? Had something happened? It had to be something, something that didn’t involve procreation. 

So he took you back up to earth, played it off as a mini vacation, and for some reason, not that he wasn’t used to it at this point, but you cried, clinging onto his shoulder as you told him how excited you were. If he wasn’t so worried about your strange illness and your odd mood swings, he would have found it endearing. This also wasn’t an actual vacation, this was more of a trial and error experiment. See if you still threw up when you were on earth. Simple really, a hypothesis and a conclusion. If you stopped puking, he would keep you up on earth. If you kept puking, he would take you to the hospital to get you checked out. 

He watched you closely as you cuddled next to him on the hotel bed, counting down the time. It would supposedly be happening soon, and his little experiment would either fail or succeed. Just like clockwork, as if on queue, you pulled out of his arms and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, your body forcibly removing everything you had eaten that day. He didn’t waste a second, as soon as you had left the bathroom he was ready to take you to the hospital. Of course, Lucifer wasn’t stupid. He knew that this was a sign of pregnancy, but he wanted so badly for it to be anything but that, he needed to get an official diagnosis. 

So it turned out that you weren’t joking, all of his excuses were wrong, and you were in fact… pregnant. First reaction? Get rid of it. Get it out. He doesn’t want that added responsibility. Of course, when he even began speaking those words you seemed so upset, so heartbroken, he immediately shut his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was make you cry again, but seriously, why? Why do you want to keep it? Do you know how much work a child is? How expensive one is? Second reaction? How the hell is it going to work? How is it going to come out? Will it have his horns? Or will it be more like you? It could rip you to shreds. Demons, as you know, are much stronger than humans, surely that would still be true with a demon child. He was worried, of course, because he wasn’t about to lose the one person he actually loved to something that wasn’t even supposed to happen. Third reaction? Protect you at all costs. Not because you were carrying his child, he could care less about what happened to it. You were vulnerable though, far more fragile than you were before, and even then he would worry himself sick about you whenever you weren’t around. It would be far worse now. How was he supposed to focus on anything else when he had you to worry about even more? 

As you grew, and his child grew, he became more possessive over you. His brothers weren’t allowed within five feet of you, worried that they might do something stupid and end up hurting you. He couldn’t deny the faint glow that pregnancy gave you, and the sense of pride that filled him knowing that it was his seed that brought on that glow. He still didn’t really take part in any of the pregnancy milestones though, he could honestly care less. Feeling it kick for the first time? So what? He could kick too, what’s so special about it? Hearing the heartbeat? Was that supposed to make him feel something other than disgust knowing that it was still living and thriving in your womb? Still though, if he saw you go to any of his brothers to talk about it he’d quickly pull you away. Why tell them about it? They don’t have to know. He’d bring you to his office and pretend to listen to all the things that you were excited about as he sat at his desk going over paperwork. 

Once the child was born, he distanced himself, only willingly helping financially because it was sadly his responsibility to do so, and only actually interacting with his child when he really felt like you needed the help. Other than that, he was busy, happily taking on way more work than was good for him just to avoid having to hear the child cry. He hated it, he hated how much time it sucked out of you, time that you could have been spending with him if you had just listened to him. He wouldn’t even come up to the room at night, choosing to fall asleep at his desk just so he didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to hear it crying. The kid cried so much, it drove him crazy. You would blow it off, telling him that it was just what babies do, but then he’d just question what the use of a child is if all it does is cry. He could tell that you were exhausted, you clearly weren’t getting an adequate amount of sleep, but then again, you wanted this, not him, yet you still seemed happy, he didn’t understand you, or the strange maternal bond you felt with the child. 

Over time though, you stopped bringing the child into his office. At first he was overjoyed by it, glad that he didn’t have to hear it or hear you making over it. Then you stopped coming to his office altogether, and although his pride wouldn’t allow him to admit it out loud, he missed seeing you. He even… missed seeing the child, because with the child was always you. He walked out of his office, his eyes immediately landing on the back of your head. You were sitting on the couch, your knees bunched up slightly for the child to lay against, seemingly happy for once considering he didn’t hear any crying. You were talking though, and he knew you weren’t talking to the baby. Then he saw someone's arms reach over and grab the child off your lap, holding it up in the air, even getting a… giggle out of it. 

It was a sting to his pride, a pride that he had no idea existed up until now. Fatherly pride, and it made him nauseous, angry, and even… jealous? Hearing the child… his child… laugh for someone else, for one of his brothers, it didn’t sit right with him. Then there was you, smiling over to his brother while he was holding HIS child. He wouldn’t stand for it. It was crossing a very thin line that he had made before the child was even born. He had given the rules to his brothers to stay away from you, to stay away from his child. Had you… had you gone to his brothers though? That stung even worse. 

He didn’t want to make a scene, he didn’t want to let on that he was feeling anything other than his usual indifference, but inside he was fuming. He walked over to where you sat, and at first you didn’t even look up at him, neither did Beel. Were you two ignoring him? He cleared his throat, getting the attention of you, Beel, and even the child, all three of you turning to look at him. “Y/N, I’d like a word with you for a moment, in my office, now. That’s not a request.” The way you smiled to Beel… was it his mind playing tricks on him, or was that the same smile you had given him when you had first started together? No, it couldn’t be. You wouldn’t do that to him. You leaned in to kiss the top of his son’s head, as if you were leaving him with Beel. “Bring him with you.” 

“Who? Beel? I mean…” He couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped him, he didn’t have time for this. He reached down and grabbed the child from Beel, not expecting the child to actually try to reach back for his brother. The way that you laughed at his child’s reaction, like this was a normal thing, the way that Beel actually reached out to try to take the child back. That hurt worse than anything. He pulled his son back against his chest, holding onto him tightly as he walked back to his office. It felt foreign, actually holding him, and he had seemingly grown so much since the last time he had seen him. How long had it been? 

You shut the door behind you quietly, moving over to grab the now fussy child out of his arms, his pride only being crushed more and more now. He had stopped crying immediately as soon as you grabbed him, clearly finding comfort in your arms rather than his own fathers. “What is it? Make it quick, it’s almost time for him to eat.” You sounded upset, irritated, and your eyes held the same emotions as you looked up at him. What was he supposed to say? That he didn’t want you around his brother anymore? Clearly you didn’t listen to him the first time he told you. 

“What were you doing with Beel? Why was he holding him? I thought I told you to stay away from them.” He watched his child perk up at even the mention of his brother's name, taking a deep breath to try to control the anger that was so close to boiling over. He wouldn’t have his child, his son looking at anyone else as a father figure. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him as you sat down in the chair across from his desk.

“Why do you care? Do you even know how old he is? Do you even know anything about him?” He clenched his teeth, shaking his head as he leaned against his desk. “You made it clear that you didn’t want anything to do with him. Don’t act shocked that someone else filled the shoes that you didn’t even want to try on, Lucifer.” What was that supposed to mean? He didn’t understand, yet the words irritated him. Filling the shoes? He could sense that your irritation was growing even more as you waited for him to respond, but he didn’t know what to say. For once, he didn’t have a response. So he just stared at you, waiting for you to elaborate further. “Six months, Lucifer. He’s six months old, and how many times have you held him? I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen him in your arms. You haven’t been around for six months, and I get it. You didn’t want him, so I’m not going to force him on you. But I’m not going to deny help when it’s offered.” 

Six months… had it really been that long? It didn’t seem like it, but with the way he’d sleep at his desk and wake up in the same spot, days seemed to blend. He didn’t even know what day it was anymore. That wasn’t even the worst part to him though, not at all. What really upset him, or, better yet pissed him off was that his brother had crossed the line that he had so clearly made. “You shouldn’t have accepted the help. This was your decision to make, you had options clearly given to you. My brother didn’t need to be dragged into this.” He moved back around to the other side of his desk, sitting in his chair and staring at you, his hands folded under his chin. “Tell him that you don’t need his help anymore. I… will be helping from now on.” 

He didn’t want his own son to hate him, to loathe him like he did his own Father. That was the last thing he wanted, and he surely didn’t like the fact that his child would rather go to Beel than his own father. Let it be known though, he wasn’t doing this for you, and he wasn’t doing this for his child. He was doing it for himself, because his pride wouldn’t let it be done for any other reason than that. 

[harrypotter-imaginess]

Part 1 Here!

A/N: I’ve been writing this since March, and finally wrapped it up. Slightly NSFW, and apartment scene is inspired by Lore Olympus by Rachel S. 

- You’ve been dating for 2 or 3 months.

- You do it basically every chance you get

- You moan as he pushes you up against the wall, trailing kisses down your neck, sucking at your collarbone

- “Dra-Draco please” you mumble into his shoulder

- “When do you have to be back at work?” He asks between kisses, piercing grey eyes peering into yours

- He never seems to lose his composure, not even during sex

- Which of course only makes you more flustered

- The first time, it had been fairly dark

- But over the past few months you’ve been with him so often you’ve got a very good idea of what his body looks like

- Toned arms, a firm outline on his abs, pale skin blooming with the hickeys you’ve left

- Not to even get started on that face

- No wonder you couldn’t keep your hands off of him

- He bites your collarbone and you yelp, only to be met with a raised eyebrow in return

- You feel your face grow hot, you were so busy admiring him, you forgot to answer his question

- “H-half an hour I think” you mumble.

- He frowns, that’s not as much time as he’d like

- “I guess you’re going to be late” he mumbles against your skin, his hand making quick work of your blouse

- You’ve got this glow, and everyone has noticed

- “Hey! Took a long lunch today?”

- You feel your face growing warm, your hand moving over the new hickey forming on your neck

- “Just lost track of time” you say with a laugh

- You haven’t told anyone at work about you and Draco because of his popularity in your office

- “Hey (Y/N)! Come over and look! The hot guys walking by our office again!”

- Draco’s got a scowl on his face, thin, pale eyebrows practically pressed together. His eyes hold a fierce glare.

- God, you haven’t seen that expression on him in months

- You had completely forgotten that you both hated each other at first

- You catch a glimpse of his soft, pale hair, falling against his eyes. A gloved hand moves to push it aside.

- A hand that had been somewhere rather intimate only a handful of minutes ago.

- Draco’s never been happier in his entire life

- Even his employees have noticed

- “Is it just me, or does Mr. Malfoy seem more chill than usual?”

- “Yesterday That part timer, Natalia, spilled coffee all over his coat. He didn’t even blink, just said ‘these things happen’, usually he’d sack her on the spot!”

- “Maybe he finally got laid”

- They both laugh at that, while Reginald is practically sweating buckets at his desk behind them

- Little do they know they’re spot on.

- Ever since Draco started seeing you, he’s constantly come to Reginald for advice on “navigating the muggle world”

- “The traps of the muggle world are terrifying” Draco had said with a shiver. “Y’know she wanted me to use one of these?”

- Draco pulls out a condom

- “I mean what even is this? A sweet? It tastes just like plastic”

- Reginald’s not sure what’s more embarrassing, that his boss tried to eat a condom, or that he had to spend an hour and half explaining what a condom was to him, and how to use one.

- “So you can shag as much as you want with these, and nothing happens?” Draco says with a face of sheer amazement.

- Reginald has to remind himself to be empathetic. He’s lucky his parents are muggles, and generally very open minded.

- It’s not surprising Draco doesn’t know anything. The wizard world’s typical propaganda encourages procreation to increase the wizard population.

- The truly desperate can drink a potion or cast a charm, but Reginald’s sure something of that sort is never discussed in pureblood familys.

- “Muggles are pretty brilliant aren’t they?” Draco’s staring at the small plastic square in his palm, with true wonder.

- Reginald can’t help but smile, he looks like a kid that just discovered sweets

- “They are”

- Draco’s feeling pretty good, he’s got your favorite take out in one hand, flowers in the other, and a smile on his face

- He’s got someone he loves, he knows what condoms are, he’s on top of the world

- “Draco, how come I’ve never been to your place?”

- Happiness is fleeting, and reality is a lie

- He’s just set down the take out on your dining table, watching you sitting on the edge of the sofa

- You’re only a few feet away from him, but you feel an ocean away

- Well, he can hardly tell you that he still lives with his parents and that they despise Muggles and would probably curse you before you could even make a sound

- His mouth opens, brain scrambling to find an excuse

- He’s going to go with “he lives at his parents estate” when he actually looks at you

- You’re not looking to him, waiting for an explanation. You’re looking at your hands, eyebrows creased together and teeth nibbling into the flesh of your lip.

- He places a hand under your chin, nudging your face to look up at him.

- “Is that really what you’re worried about?”

- It’s not

- You were too much of a coward, and chickened out asking him your initial question

- You hadn’t thought of it before today, when all the women in your office crowded around the window to look at him

- He must have women throwing themselves at his feet

- You were together so often, you doubted he had the time to have anyone else.

- But you never had dates at his place, always yours

- In fact, you had never visited his place

- He could have an entirely different life than what you imagined, and this relationship, the blossoming feelings inside of you could just be in your head.

- Well, you’re only half right. Draco does have a whole other life, but not like you think

- “It’s just- what are we?” Biting on your lip, mustering up every ounce of courage you have you add “...are we dating?”

- Or are you both just f*cking

- He’s taken aback that this is what you want to ask, and honestly he’s a bit annoyed

- In his mind he’s already given up so many things to be here with you now

- His pride, his family, his heritage, he’s even ready to give up magic if it comes to it

- It’s all so obvious to him, that he doesn’t realize it’s all in his mind, he hasn’t conveyed any of this to you

- A softer expression moves across his face, as he takes you in, your gaze lingering on your hands. 

- Of course you’re confused

- He kneels beside you on the ground, his fingers wrapping around your hand

- “Of course we’re dating, you’re my (girlfriend/boyfriend), my lover, my significant other, my partner” each title is pronounced by a soft kiss on your knuckles. He peers up at you through his eyelashes, taking in your flushed face

- You’re his entire future

- “How do you feel about me?” He asks, his breath held in his throat as he watches you carefully

- He’s only now realizing that much of your relationship has existed in his mind

- The thought that perhaps you don’t see your relationship as anything long term only occurs after the words leave his mouth.

- You’re flushed hiding your face in your large sweater

- It’s hard for you to be honest with your wants and needs, especially in relationships

- “I want you to be my boyfriend” you mumble, and he squeezes your hand

- The words take courage you didn’t know you had, but Draco’s grin is worth it.

- He places kisses on your hand, then your face, and finally your lips. You feel his smile, and can’t help but smile as well.

- Then his kisses trail to your neck

- “Draco... the food will get cold...” you murmur, but your hand creeps under his shirt.

- “It’s fine,” he mumbles against your neck. “Gives me an excuse to invite you to my place for a proper meal next time”

- Cue to the next day, with Draco sitting across from his mother in their home. She’s flipping through a book with her wand.

- “I want a flat!” He practically shrieks out, Narcissa doesn’t even look up

- “To own, or rent?”

- Crap. He didn’t think this far ahead, he didn’t really think the words would actually come out. But he promised you a date at his place, and he can’t exactly bring you to the manor now can he?

- Besides, possible hexes and curses aside, his parents being here would definitely kill the mood

- “Rent, I guess. It’s just hard commuting to the office from home.”

- He half expects his mother to tell him to quit then, not like he needs the salary anyway. They have plenty of money.

- But instead, she says:

- “Fine, I’ll tell your father to contact our real estate connection.”

- Draco lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, about ready to walk away, his mother looks up from her book for the first time

- “And Draco,” He meets her gaze, stopping midway from exiting “do bring them home sometime.”

- He’s attempting to play dumb when his mother adds

- “And make sure to cover up the marks on your neck before you see your Father. You know how he is.”

- Draco just nods, feeling the heat creep into his face.

- Apartment hunting is surprisingly stressful. Partially because of how little he understands the muggle world.

- “This is the electrical closet, it stays locked.”

- Muggles. Don’t they realize he can just use a quick ‘alohomora’ to open it.

- When the realtor isn’t looking, he opens it, takes in the air conditioning unit and the wires, and promptly closes it again

- The muggle world is truly terrifying

- He ends up choosing a flat a few streets away from yours, in a posh upscale building. Naturally he lives in the penthouse. 

- He considered moving into the same building, but decides against it

- He has to remind himself that even though he plans on marrying you, he has to play it cool.

- From your perspective you’re a new couple that’s still falling in love

- He hates his apartment, he doesn’t understand how anything works, he has to cook all his meals himself, and he didn’t realize how much cleaning went into living without servants

- He has a newfound respect for house elves as he scrubs pasta sauce off of the ceiling

- In addition, none of the appliances in this place are enchanted, which means he has to actually use his hands to turn on the water or open the refrigerator

- He hates it

- “Wow, I considered this building too, but it was pretty expensive” you say as he helps you out of your coat

- You wonder if the reason he never invited you over was because he was trying to hide the fact that he came from money

- Not like it was a secret, what with the clothes and the restaurants he took you to, he was either rich or close to bankruptcy

- Draco’s just hoping you haven’t figured out he only moved in a week ago

- Thankfully the red sauce stains on the ceiling and Draco’s inability to clean very well thoroughly mislead you into believing this is a well lived in apartment

- Your eyes twinkle as you take in the incredible view from the large panel window in his living room

- “The views absolutely bewitching” you murmur with a smile, enchanted as you gaze at the twinkling lights of London

- He watches you, watching the lights. You look like you’re almost glowing, your form wrapped by the scenery

- “You’re the one that’s bewitching” he murmurs, watching your grin

- Well he can manage for a bit longer

[kaitosimp]

Okay listen- I fucking suck at art and it's the first time I use procreate (with my fingers no less) so please excuse how shitty this is (though it does look kinda better when you click on it, idk wHY TF IT LOOKS BLURRY) bUT LOOK, here's what's been living in my head rent free for like two whole months: Ultimate Detective Kaito! 👁👄👁

I may or may not have started writing a talentswap fic with detective!Kaito a while back and I just loved how he looked in my head so I had to somehow draw him with my limited af art skills, this took me forever lol 🥲 KAITO WITH HIS HAIR DOWN/LOW PONYTAIL SUPREMACYYYYYY

ANYHOW, HAVE SOME FUN FACTS:

⭐ He's the youngest dective in the country

⭐ His grandpa was a detective, as a kid Kaito used to help him solve simple cases and from there came his love of it

⭐ Hopes Peak tried scouting him numerous times, but Kaito always declined and gave the same excuse: he had no time for school since being a detective took up all his time

⭐ However, due to the school's reputation that one would be set for life and have endless success upon graduation, it made him think- he really wanted to go to space at least once, a silly dream he's had since he was a kid, so hey, who said he couldn't be both a detective and an astronaut? Maybe if he graduated from Hopes Peak, he could be easily accepted into an astronaut program or something of the like

⭐ His dream of wanting to go to space was the sole reason he accepted the headmaster's invitation, but nobody knows that was the reason he joined

⭐ His suspenders were previously owned by his grandpa, he gave them to Kaito and said they always brought him luck when investigating

⭐ When it comes to catching bad guys or closing in on suspects, he's beyond reckless, he'll literally throw himself on the front line to solve a case

⭐ Aside from helping his grandpa do investigations as a kid, he loved to stargaze and look at the moon, he grew a fondness for space things that never went away

⭐ He can't stand the sight of blood and guts, it reminds him of those horror movies he hates, but he never lets it show how much he hates being at gruesome crime scenes

⭐ When stuck on a particularly hard case, he'll take a step back and will just stargaze for a while to clear his head before diving back in

⭐ He fucking loves his coat and will fight anyone who calls it ugly

⭐ He spends all his free time in his room/lab working and investigating, his classmates have to physically drag him out so he can take breaks

⭐ He prefers working alone, he knows he's brash and hot headed and way too passionate about his work and that has caused friction when working with some investigators in the past, however he knows the importance of working with others when its necessary and is actually a pretty good leader and team player

⭐ "A case is a case" is his motto, meaning he takes on any case that comes across his desk no matter what it is, so some days he's investigating brutal murders and other days he's looking for lost pets, there's no in between

AND UM YEAH, CAN WE PRETEND HIS SLACKS ARE SO TIGHT THERES NO CREASES? THANKS CAUSE YA GIRL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW CLOTHES 😔✋🏽

[kornito]

SOURCE: https://korngiant.tripod.com/kornisgoodforu/id10.html

Dead

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

All I want in life is to be happy", it's that simple. People say that it's become their own anthem. It's like whenever I start to feel good, something comes and takes it away and I feel like I'm nothing again, like I'm dead.

Falling Away From Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The song is about domestic abuse and that there ways to get help whether it's telling someone or calling a help line, there are ways to get out of those situations. Noone has to be treated like that.

Trash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Trash" is about how I threw my world and everything out. I threw her away. I threw my old self away. It basically comes back down to the sex thing. The battles I did on the road, this whole album is what I went through because I was on the road and I went crazy.

Beg for Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Beg For Me" is more of an angry thing because the whole thing for "Beg For Me" is the crowd. The only time I was good on tour was when I walked up onstage and that's what the song is about. Feeling wanted is something one thing I've always needed. I was shuffled around so much when I was a kid...Being up onstage was the only point was the only time when my anxiety would go away for an hour.

Make Me Bad

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

I need to feel the sickness in you" ... It's spawned from f**kin', basically, from having sex. That's where that line comes from, but it means a whole bunch of things to me. "Make Me Bad" was about the battles I had being on the road, being married and being with other women. I'm not married anymore... beause of my lifestlyle, and I just couldnt do that to my wife anymore. So that ended. But does it make me bad that I have a dick and I have f**ken other feelings to be with other people? Why should I be with just one? It seems like human beings are genetically engineered to procreate. Thats what we do, f**k everything, and that's what our natural insides want to do. It is hard to find someone like that. But she was a good woman and I didnt want to keep on... I did the right thing, I was a man about it. It was better for me to tell her and let her go on with her life and find someone who could help her and be like that. So that song was spawned by that, does it make me bad to want to be with other women? In a sence it was my only drug, why... because I dont drink anymore, I cant drink. I've been sober for a year. I dont have any other vices. So at least doing that could be something.

Hey Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Hey Daddy" where I was schizophrenic and there were these voices telling me to do sh*t... To kill myself, basically. Daddy is one of my nicknames, so its like I'm talking to myself the whole time. It's hard to explain.

Dirty

Song Meaning: Jonathan

"I feel like a fucking whore to record companies." "You know how it is...the way we are used and marketed." "How they make all the money off us and we don't make shit!" "The only way we make money is to go out on tour and sell merchandise" "Basiclly we write all the music and turn in and they make all the money." "So I feel like that and also I feel like a slut cuz I'd go out at night and fucking girls and so I said fuck it, I'm going to do it. The only way to escape is to have sex." "Its all kind of different issues."

Its On!

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's On is my sh*t peer pressure song. Me being so stressed out going out and partying. Everybody's just going 'Come on dude, it's on.' That's partying, it's alcohol, cocaine, women. All that wrapped into one. I wrote a song about it. And the chorus I talked about Why am I really doing this? It's all my fault that I'm doing this because all the alcohol, the booze an the chicks do is just make it worse. They just rearrange all the problems in a different order that I can deal with at that moment.

Freak on a Leash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

One of the best titles I've heard ever for a song. That's my song against the music industry. Like me feeling like I'm f**kin' a pimp, a prostitute. Like I'm paraded around. I'm this freak paraded around but I got corporate America f**kin' making all the money while it's taking a part of me. It's like they stole something from me, they stole my innocence and I'm not calm anymore. I worry constantly.

Got the Life

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a song baggin' on myself. How everything's always handed to me. How I look up to God and don't want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I've got everything I really need but I sometimes don't like. I don't know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actually get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. That's what I'm getting out of it right now.

Dead Bodies Everywhere

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the song about my parents trying to keep me out of the music business. My father was in it and he knew how it was and I totally understand now that I have a son. I want Nathan to be a musician but I him don't want him to go through the hell I went through. That's the same thing my Dad was doing. A lot of people can relate to it, because it's like the Dad's wanting their sons to be football players and their sons want to be doctors or something. That peer pressure its like trying to make them something they're really not. And the Dead Bodies thing is like so I did it and all I got out of it was dead bodies everywhere and got all traumatized. Thanks a lot Dad, Mom.

Children of the Korn

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's the song that Ice Cube is on Cube came up with the title. I fed off of what he wrote, he was talking about growing up and puberty. Dictating what he can do, like how you gonna tell me how to live and who to f**k? And all this stuff. And I took that and in my stuff I was talking about being a kid always known as the f**kin' town faggot. It's funny how things change. That some of these people picked on me and all of a sudden look who's laughing now. Also in another of the verse I talked about all these parents f**kin hating me for what I do, saying I'm corrupting their children, but in turn these parents need to step outside of themselves and really listen to what I'm talking about. Then I think they can understand that they were kids before. They're just really quick to judge me. All the Children of The Korn are all our Korn fans. All those kids going through that sh*t and feeling what I feel.

B.B.K.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Big black cock! That's what I call a jack and coke. Those little glasses they serve in Europe and everything. That's what I named it, big black cock. And that's another song about me dealing with the pressures of this album and how I, you know, I'm trying to kill myself, but you know? Do I really want to kill myself? Things I'm just questioning myself. Most of this is self-structured.

Pretty

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's a story about this little girl that came into the coroner's office when I was working there and she was f**ked by her dad. She was an 11 month old little baby girl. Her legs were broken back behind her and he just f**ked her like a toy doll and chucked her in the bathroom. It was the most heinous thing I've ever seen in my life and I still have nightmares about it.

All in the Family

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Fred was there after Korn TV and we said, 'Let's do a song together, Hey, man, let's go back and forth and rip on each other like an old school battle.' I don't know who's idea it was, I can't remember if it was mine or Fieldy's or Fred's but we came up with the idea and we started writing and we worked on it together. I came up with some bags on myself for Fred to say. It was all in good natured fun.

Reclaim My Place

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

This one is about the whole band and about all my life being called a homosexual. And then I became this big rock star in a band and I'm still called a fag even by my own band. So it's like I was f**kin' pissed off at them. It's like erase them all because I'm gonna reclaim my place and say hey, they owe a lot to me for what I did, and I owe a lot to them back. But, it still kinda sucks. I've never ever gotten away from that fag f**kin' title. Just because I'm a sensitive kinda guy. Kinda feminine it really sucks.

Justin

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Justin, that was the kid dying terminally with intestinal cancer. His last dying wish was to meet us and it really freaked me out. That threw a whole bunch of new kind of pressures on my head. That's really intense. Someone's gonna die and his last thing he wants to do is come hang out with us. So I truly just freaked out. It's like why would you want to meet me? What makes me so special? And in turn I talk about how I admire his strength and his life. I couldn't stare at him because he was so content he was gonna die. No one could look him in the eyes. And I totally admire his strength. I wish I had it.

Seed

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Seed. That's all about the same thing again. I laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking about do I really need all this stuff? All this pressure on me? Because I'm a stressed out freak. It's about Nathan, it's about every time that I look into his eyes, I see myself how I used to be, innocent and stress free. I'm kind of jealous of it. It really sucks, I used to be that way. It's like I have to work so hard at this thing in my life. I have to become a stressed out freak. I put food on the table for my child. Every time I look in his eyes, I just see myself staring right back at my @ss laughing. I was like care free, innocent as a child. It's really weird and I'm really jealous of it.

Cameltosis

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a love song. It's about women in general, women who hurt me. It's Tre's lyrics. He's going on about chicks and my chorus is like I'm so scared to love anyone and really let them in after I got hurt really really bad by a girl. I've let Renee in a little bit, to be honest, but I'll never be that in love ever again. That's what I'm saying, if you've loved twice, you're gonna get f**ked, 'cause you usually do.

My Gift to You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Renee always wanted me to write her a love song and that's why I called it My Gift To You. It's my gift to her, you know how I get sick. I always had a fantasy of f**king her and choking her to death. I fantasize about what it would look like me in her body and watching me do it. So it's like a really sick f**ked up song. I did it totally like, I love her so much, I want to take her out of this world. It's really strange. She used to leave notes on my pillow like 25 ways she'd like to kill me. She's got this weird death fetish. We're kinda f**kin' freaky. She got it. She's all 'Thank you that's kinda f**ked up. I was expecting a f**kin' I love you, baby kinda song.' I'm all, 'No, you know me.' I mean I can't do that.

Chi

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Chi is about a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. People turn to that when they have problems so that they won't have to feel their pain. The song was named after Chi Cheng from the Deftones. We named it after him because he used to call it reggae, and he loves reggae music.

Lost

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's the sterotypical thing about your best friend meeting a chick, and then you're nothing

Swallow

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's about being paranoid. Drug-induced paranoia.

Good God

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a guy I knew in school who I thought was a my friend, but who f**ked me. He came into my life with nothing, hung out at my house, lived off me, and made me do sh*t I didn't really wanna do." "I was into new romantic music and he was a mod, and he'd tell me if I didn't dress like a mod he wouldn't be my friend anymore."

"Whenever I had plans to go on a date with a chick he'd sabotage it, because he didn't have a date or nothing. He was a gutless f**king nothing. I haven't talked to him for years.

Mr. Rogers

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Back in the day when I was a speed freak, um... even further back when I was a little kid watchin' Mr. Rogers, that sh*t was scary. He was a freaky old man... Land of Makebelieve and Mr. f**kinMcFeely and sh*t... made me sick. So back when I was doing speed, like for 5 or 6 days I'd be trippin out and my brain would start to get freaky and get schizophrenic and stuff, and I'd tape it and watch it everyday over and over... I don't know, I was sick in the head. As a kid he told me to be polite and all it did was get me picked on. I f**king hate that man. Thanks for making me polite and trusting everyone, and easy to take advantage of. So I spent 3 months on that one song, just tweakin' on it, and it was totally just my Mr. Rogers obsession, about how evil I thought he was. Pretty much drug induced.

K @ # Ø % (Kunt)

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think it's sexist but it isn't. It's more subconcious b*tching at all the women who've been with me in my life. It's not about women in feneral, just those women who hurt me." "Initially, we wrote it to send to American radio for a joke, because they always chop up all the other songs. So we were going to send a 'real' single seven days later."

A.D.I.D.A.S.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It stands for all day I dream about sex. It's about how much of a pervert my ass is, and how I daydream about what a stud I am. But when it comes down to it, I'm a f**king pussy and I'm in there jacking off.

a** Itch

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the last song I wrote, and I was so burned at writing out lyrics because everytime I write I get depressed because I start thinking about things, you know? So the whole song is about that. In the chorus it says, 'Before day, my sun will be dying'. It's because I put myself on the line all the time and for what? Because people aren't going to be listening to it anyway.

Kill You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a relative I first met when I was 12. I f**king hate that b*tch. She's the most evil, f**ked up person I've met in my whole life. She hated my guts. She did everything she could to make my life hell. Like, when I was sick she'd feed me tea with Tabasco, which is really hot pepper oil. She'd make me drink it and say, 'You have to burn that cold out, boy'. f**ked up sh*t like that. So every night when I'd go to sleep, I'd dream of killing that b*tch. In some sick way I had a sexual fantasy about her, and I don't know what that stems from or why, but I always dreamt about f**king her and killing her

Ball Tongue

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The meaning of ball tongue is simple. Some thought it had to do with oral sex, but in fact its about a guy we had to work with on a t-shirt (Jeff Creath). He either had a pierced tongue or a wart or something on his tongue and he was a dick to us.

Different live: Jonathan goes into a Rap (by Coolio) Called "Loddi Doddi" in the middle of the song.

Clown

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Korn was playing a show in San Diego for a clothing card. This skinhead guy came up and started flippin' me off. When we started, I bent down and the guy took a swing at me. Our tour manager, Jeff, got into it and knocked the guy out. I wrote this song about him: 'Scared to be honest with yourself/you're a cowardly man.

Faget

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Everyone thinks I'm bashing gay people in this song, and I'm not. It's really about me going through high school being called 'pussy,' 'queer' and all that stuff, about getting picked on by all these jocks.

Shoots and Ladders

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It was written because all these little kids sing these nursery rhymes and they don't know what they originally meant. Everyone is so happy when singing but 'London Bridge' is about the Black Plague. All of them have these evil stories behind them." "The lyrics are all from nursery rhymes, and a lot of nursery rhymes go back to the Middle Ages. They're actually pretty twisted if you know the stories behind them, like about Black Death and stuff.

Helmet in the Bush

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a speed problem that I had. You know, you do a lot of speed and -- if you're a male -- your penis retracts severly. The guy heard at the beginning of the song is La Caco, a friend of the band. His real name is Michael and likes taco bell. He's a really Nice Guy and he has been friends with the band for years

Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think daddy' was writen because my dad f**ked me up the ass,thats not what the song's about. It wasn't about my dad or my mum. When I was a kid I was being abused by someone else and I went to my parents and told them about it. and they thought I was lying and joking around, they never did sh*t about it. They didn't belive it was happening to their son. I don't like to talk about that song, this is the most I've ever talked about it...