#randomly kill him later

[madtomedgar]

For cql I think jgy actually is fine with dying a heroic death and tries to on several occasions. What he's not fine with is dying a shameful or meaningless death, especially as a young person who has yet to make a mark on the world, and he does a lot to avoid this, sometimes even seeking the former.

[rewrittenwrongs]

Saw a post on Pinterest about Vemon and Eddie, but literally the previous post was about Tim Drake, so I thought it was a crossover and now I am severely disappointed it was not because what a concept?? I can totally see him finding a blob of sentient goo while out stalking the bats and letting himself be adopted, or Venom bonds with him during a Young Justice mission and Tim just rolls with it, or finding him in the League of Assassins on Brucequest and (accidentally?) breaking him free, or he investigates Eddie and/or Venom for whatever reason and collects another father figure (this one is no more functional than the previous).

[mini-moriarty]

not to talk about my lore too much but for whatever reason my father was literally reginald hargreeves it is so weird lad would never be around and then when he was around he was just a little hater. man coined the term utilitarian parenting, man is the definition. man grounded me before for crying too loudly lmao? he did what reginald couldn't.

but thankfully he is sparrow!reginald because now he's pathetic and no longer in my life

[psychoticwillgraham]

can’t bring myself to write any hannigram stuff so instead I’m doing some mark egos first!! probably not smut right off the bat but more of the creepy stuff that I used to write. well my old horror stuff was mostly dependent on gore and shock value (the anti/jack necro I did once, like legit necro and idk what was wrong with me when I did that tho it was completely in character for anti) and I’d always wanted to explore the more psychological horror aspect of certain characters like Wilford, dark, anti, and author/host (who are separate to me) so I think I’ll do that as a warm up.

[kierancaz]

Tiktok shadow banning me and taking down a STORY I made calling someone a fucking idiot bc they don’t understand trolling after they tagged me in 4 videos of hyenas graphically mauling animals alive is WILD

[jellyloveru]

i don't care what anyone says - mother mother music fucked, and not because of some "nbs love it" or something, but because most of the tracks make for some amazing animations.

i will not elaborate 😤

[roach-works]

new heresy that makes the bible way funnier:

god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.

like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.

that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.

that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just..... stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.

then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!

like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.

god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.

if that’s not funny, i don’t know what is.

[technicallyr43]

How about a fic where the Fenton portal was opened in like the 90s and so Phantom was the literal First Known Hero. Which is why he was hunted and there wasn’t any law to stop the Anti-ecto acts. And when Phantom Planet happened, he just disappeared, or retired. He went to Gotham U for uni and meets Bruce Wayne there and they hit it off as good friends and later wild romance partners who slept around. And when they graduated they separated to do their own thing but Danny returns once in awhile to visit Bruce.

They also meet randomly when Bruce goes on work trips in random countries and cities. They never mention the kids and Danny doesn’t know about Batman. Bruce doesn’t know about Phantom. He just thinks Danny is an engineer that travels for work. Which he is, but he’s also mainly the Ling of the Infinite Realms and appears in other countries and cities bc that’s conveniently where natural portals are spawning.

What Danny doesn’t know is that since he’s taken up the mantle of king, the zone has changed to match him. So it’s much more welcoming and natural portals spawn where Bruce is bc he lowkey is in love with him and just doesn’t realize it. And vice versa, Bruce is lowkey in love with Danny and they fawn over each other when they meet up without realizing that’s what’s happening. But Alfred knows, he’s known for awhile. And so does Jazz.

So when one day, Alfred brings up that Danny is in town in Gotham and Bruce says to set a time for them to meet, one of the kids hear this and they wonder who this Danny is, bc they’ve never heard his name. It becomes a Wayne Mystery when that week, Bruce is out most nights and portions of the day and comes back looking happy and soft. Which freaks everyone out and they stalk Danny and realize they’re meeting each other and this man is someone Bruce cares about a lot. So they bring him up at dinner one day and Bruce is like, oh yea he’s an old friend of mine. And when pressed on why they haven’t heard or met him, Bruce just says that they’ve never brought it up and since Danny isn’t around a lot, and Bruce is a little self aware of himself at this point, doesn’t want this relationship to affect the kids since they aren’t exclusive or together really.

So the kids plot and get Danny to come to the Manor for dinner. They then realize during dinner, watching Bruce and Danny interact, that holy shit, this is their other dad. They’re so in sync that they don’t realize it and he’s so good with the kids too and Bruce is so happy when he’s around…

Cue the batfamily kids Parent Trapping the two, with the help of Alfred who is all for it bc he likes Danny.

In the end, Danny decides to stay at the Manor and the kids can now call him other dad, or pops, or some variation. But they all collectively don’t mention the vigilante side they have, since they all figured it out themselves. Their new dad can do so too. Which then spirals when all of the kids Omar’s out on Patrol, Alfred is on Vacay, and Danny is alone in the house when Talia comes a knocking, bc she knows that Danny has always had Bruce’s heart and wants him gone. She’s always been jealous of their relationship so she tries to kill him. The family realize what’s happened when Damian sees some League members watching them on patrol and they race back home to see Danny decimating the assassins and Talia. He sees the family in their costumes and thinks, oh wow this makes all the sense now.

And they see Danny as a ghost, which Bruce recognizes as Phantom, the first hero!!!! And they all sit down and talk about it.

There’s probs more too but that’s all I have rn.

[jaxon-exe]

Brawl Buddies

So this is just a fun one

When Danny becomes the ghost king at 18 other ghost kinda stop fighting him seriously. They like him as king and so while they will have a friendly spat with him every now and then no one really fights him anymore.

And Danny finds this strangely frustrating!!

It’s a ghost’s nature to fight!! Now he not only has to deal with everything that involves being king but he can’t get a good fight for the death of him!!

This frustration leads him to taking a ‘vacation’ in Gotham. Hoping to find at least one super-powerful person he can have a good show down with.

Turns out he didn’t have to look far as the first time he meet his new neighbour the guy immediately started throwing hands. This lead to a brawl that drifted threw both of their apartments, all the floors of their building, including the roof and out onto the street. Danny isn’t even mad when the guy calms down, stops fighting and starts apologising for randomly attacking him. He just shrugs of the apology and complements the guy on his strength and gushes on about how fun that was!! And how that was the best fight he’s had in years!! And if the guy even wants to throw down again they definitely should.

Jason meanwhile is confused as fuck by his new neighbour. He took one look at the guy and immediately flew into level 11 pit rage and somehow this guy fucking survived that?! Plus invited him to fight again????

At first he was just gonna ignore his weird neighbour and do his best to avoid him but a few days later he noticed that the pit was actually silent after the fight. Not just quite like it gets some times but fully silent for days. It wasn’t until it started to come back up did he noticed it was gone.

Deciding to get some answers he knocks on the weird guys door but as soon as he opens it Jason just can’t help but start swinging. After the fight he’s to exhausted to ask the guy questions and in the days following he just rides the high of a pit free life.

Over time he just stops questions it. It kinda just becomes routine. He stops avoiding Danny, he learnt his name after the 4th brawl, but never really talks to him. They just kinda exchange pleasantries when they pass each other in the hall most times. Then when the pit starts acting up again he goes over to Danny’s and the two of them duke it out.

Several months later Dick comes over for a surprise visit only to find his brother trying to kill some random guy??? Then when he did the rational thing and got in between them to stop the fight both of them turned and started yelling at him!!!!! Like he was the bad guy!!!! Then they just went back to fighting!!!!

Then when Jason’s eyes finally stopped glowing the two just started acting like best buds?????? Like Jason did not just throw this guy out a 2nd story window?????? Like the guy didn’t just beat Jason with a 2x4 he found in the alley?????????

What is going on????????

[uvuyai]

ft. YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL.

Gn reader

Minors DNI, below this point below includes suggestive wording, disturbing content and nsfw parts and such.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who you met when you recently retired from your position.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who has three kids, one girl and two boys and married to a loving housewife but got divorced a few years later and he started fall in love with you.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL likes when you take stops by his office when you don't have any planned or on your schedule. Even when you have to go he insists on talking about life(he just wants to get to know you better for the future.)

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who wishes to try out his kinks on your fragile body. He has a rope kink, breeding, and voice kink and bondage kink. He is a massive guy and could crush you(if you're into manhandling then yeah🤭).

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who wants eight children with you. Even though he had three he just went to his wife's boundaries and didn't want to push her too far.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who's a really nice guy but deep down he's a sadistic closed minded person you'd ever meet. But of course that's way deep down. He won't show it unless you force him in any type of way.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who secretly threatens people that you often hang around. He wants all your attention all on him and only him. He could go as far as to brutally kill them or torture them.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who takes photos without you knowing and fills them up in a journal he has in his desk drawer. He'd pit description of what you did that day rather it being you sitting in the park reading a book or just having a breakdown which makes him randomly call you and comfort you(without you knowing he spied on you).

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who's really addicted to your praises and affection. He guilt trips when you don't do it at least once a day.

✎ YANDERE DILF MILITARY GENERAL who is addicted to your body. Your soft lips he wishes were wrapped around his cock as you struggle to fit it down your throat. Your small hand he compares all the time and wants to see them tied up as he rails you into oblivion.

I have a couple of fics on their way so yeah🌝💪

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; FINALS.

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

[harrysfolklore]

buzzcut - blurb

this kinda sucks but it was on my drafts sooo why not, hope you enjoy !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

//

"I wonder how would I look with my head shaved." Harry randomly said one night both of you were cuddled up in bed.

"Where is that coming from, lovie?" You looked up at him, curious by his sudden statement.

"Dunno, I've never in my almost 30 years of age had a buzzcut," he shrugged, "I feel like It's part of manhood to shave your head at least once."

"Your manhood is just fine," you rolled your eyes with affection and pecked his chin, "But if you want to know how you'd look with no hair, you can always look for those AI pictures your fans have been making lately."

Harry laughed and kissed the crown of your head, leaving the conversation at that and focusing on the romantic comedy movie you picked for the night.

Days passed by and you soon forgot about your conversation and Harry didn't bring up his desire to shave his head again, so when he mentioned that he wanted to get a haircut you assumed that he was getting his usual trim.

Oh boy, were you wrong.

"I want to chop my hair a bit before we head to Vegas." He said a week before your trip, Jeff kept insisting that you needed to see the show he had been working on at the Sphere and you finally agreed.

"That's fine, just don't do anything extreme you know I love the curls." You replied, unaware of what he had up in his sleeve.

"Nothing to worry about, baby." You failed to notice the devilish smile on his face that gave away that he was planning something else.

The following day Harry told you that he was going to Ayae's place to get his haircut, which was weird to you because his hairdresser always came to your house to cut his hair, but you still didn't overthink it too much.

Until you got a text from her that read "Don't kill me or your boyfriend for what he made me do."

Just a minute after you got the text you heard the front door open and your name being called from downstairs.

"H are you home? Ayae texted me but I don't know what she means." You said as you made your way to him, he was standing in your living room, his hair being covered by the hood of his hoodie.

"I cut my hair," he said and a confused frown made its way to your face, "And I'm going to show it to you, but you need to promise me you won't freak."

"Why would I freak? Why are you acting so weird about it?"

Harry only smiled and pulled the hood from his head, revealing that his brand new buzzcut.

You stood in your place for a few minutes before reacting, "Is this some kind of joke?"

"It's not love! I shaved it," he got closer to you, a big smile on his face, “Do you like it?”

“Oh my god! Your hair is really gone! What the fuck, Harry.” You laughed in disbelief, grabbing his face to get a better look at him.

“I told you I wanted to give it a try before my twenties ended, remember?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” you shook your head, “This is crazy! Does Jeff know? Forget about him does your mom know? Oh my god we need to facetime her right now.”

Harry laughed at your rant, “Jeff knows love, he wants to shave his too, and we’ll facetime mum later,” he pecked your lips quickly, “Now wipe that look off your face! You’re looking at me like I’m an alien!”

“This is just so weird, but also such a you thing to do,” you pecked his lips back, “Your fans are going to be absolutely nuts about this.”

“Lord, that’s what i’m dreading the most.”

A week later you and Harry were standing in the crowd of U2's concert at the Las Vegas Sphere, surrounded by friends and other concertgoers.

Somehow Harry's new look gave him a little more privacy, since the world didn't know that his signature brown curls were gone and he could go unnoticed sometimes.

"You've been busted." You said as you noticed a phone camera filming the both of you, Harry was standing behind you with his hand protectively gripping your neck.

"What, love?" He asked, making you discretely point at the person with the camera.

"Well, I guess the madness stars now."

A day later, pictures and videos of Harry's new haircut flooded the internet, making his fans go crazy once again.

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin n @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia a @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry

[buckyalpine]

Drama Queen Bucky

Imagine Bucky being absolutely offended, OFFENDED when he’s called out for being dramatic. Not even in a bad way. Just. He thinks he’s so lowkey and quiet and stealthy, not realizing he’s such a little drama queen sometimes. He has his arms crossed over his chest while Sam and Steve exchange examples they can think of, his annoyance only growing more after each one. 

“He tore the arm off his jacket before throwing himself off a plane, who does that?” 

“I have it all on camera-

“I told you I’d break it” Bucky growled but it just made you giggle, imaging your grumpy boyfriend walking around with just a single sleeve of his leather jacket. 

“Remember the time you broke Zemo out of prison and I asked you how a prison fight would randomly ensue and you said “Who knows” with crazy eyes?” 

“Okay but-

“And then you said you didn’t do anything, only to have Zemo walk in 3 second later?” 

“I had good reason-”

“I mean you did dramatically yell “Stop the car” only to walk off like a grumpy old man” 

“M’not grumpy” 

“I remember this one time, I was beating up this guy in the back of an alley way and he came in with his new army uniform and-

“You were getting your ass handed to you, Steve” Bucky said with an exasperated huff, recalling the event much differently, back when Steve was about the same weight as Bucky’s left thigh. 

“Remember when he pouted because Tony wouldn’t let him travel through time and kill baby Zola” 

“I wasn’t pouting” 

“Look, he’s pouting right now!” 

You couldn’t contain your laugh anymore, looking at your poor helpless boyfriend with his bottom lip jutting out, looking like a poor admonished child. 

“No, m’not” He mumbled, letting you coo and wrap your arms around him, his face now buried in your neck, hiding away from his mean friends who were now nearly on the floor.  

“Awww, the big scary white wolf needs cuddles- oh” Sam’s smile dropped when Bucky’s head pulled away from his hiding spot, glaring at him. Steve let out a nervous laugh watching his best friend gently lift you off his lap and plopping you off to the side before getting up and stretching. 

“You idiots have 10 seconds”

“He can’t be serious”

“9″

“C’mon Buck-

“8″

“He won’t- 

“1″ 

...

“Run” 

“OH SHIT”

“USE YOUR WINGS DAMN IT”

“DO YOU THINK I KEEP THEM UP MY ASS FOR SAFE KEEPING, I DON’T HAVE THEM ON ME, YOU’RE THE SUPER SOLIDER, CARRY ME”

*Sam nearly gets clocked in the head*

“Did he just throw his metal arm at me!?”

“Yes. Yes he did” 

“So dramatic” 

[cheesesoda]

resident evil men as parents!

a/n: i had this idea randomly so i wanted to write some headcanons 💪 lmk if you wanna see the girls as parents! (i might edit these headcanons and add more later too)

cw: slight mention of smoking and alcohol

genre: fluff, headcanons/blurb

______________________________________________

leon kennedy

leon is a girl dad!

cried when she was born

from when she was born until age 1 he would just go into her room at night and watch her sleep

he spoils her fr

youll come home late from work (well past her bedtime)

there they are making ice cream sundaes in the kitchen

he participates in tea parties and he enjoys it

he tells even MORE dad jokes now

very protective

tries to drink less after his daughter is born

chris redfield

chris is a girl and boy dad!

i think he has 1 boy (older) and 1 girl (younger)

like him and claire

was in awe when his kids were born

“oh my god she/he’s so small”

auntie claire babysits all the time

teaches his son to play football

honestly i think he’d be protective of his daughter but not as much as the others because he would teach her self defense from a young age

ethan winters

ethan is a girl dad! (which we already knew)

we already know what hes like as a dad but i’ll still write a bit for him

100% cried so hard when his daughter was born

best husband and father

definitely bought every brand of diapers because he didnt know what to get

hes very affectionate and caring to his daughter

i don’t see him as the type of dad to kill any guy who speaks to her once shes older

if someone breaks her heart tho mans just might kill

albert wesker

wesker is a boy dad!

very calm when he was born

not very affectionate

he does care he just doesn’t show it very well

luis sera

luis is a girl and boy dad!

i think he’d have 2 or 3 kids

if he had 2 kids, he’d have 1 girl (older) and 1 boy (younger)

if he had 3 kids, he’d have 2 girls (oldest & youngest) and 1 boy (middle)

definitely sets a very high bar for how his daughter/s should be treated

teaches his son to be a gentleman definitely

loves all his kids so much

smokes less after his kids are born and would rather die than expose them to cigarette smoke especially when they’re babies

carlos oliveira

carlos is a girl and boy dad!

you cannot tell me this man does not want a village of children

he would probably have 4 kids

i think he’d have 3 boys and 1 girl

has the biggest soft spot for his kids

he’s very non-toxic masculine with his sons

he always tells them he loves them, hugs them, etc.

he also has tea parties with his daughter

[yeosbbm]

A helping hand..

Smut | MDNI

starring: roommate! yunho x roommate! reader

genre: (somewhat-fluffy) smut, friends to lovers, revealed feelings

summary: the company you work at has been overworking you leading to you being stressed and burnt out. you can hardly even keep up with your own life anymore ! however, your roommate yunho notices this and decides to help you destress.

warnings/prevs: service/pleasure dom yunho, big focus on his hands, massaging, light choking, fingering, oral (fem received),, overstim, praise, protected piv, there’s a moment that seems like the smut will start but it’s a tease 😭

A/n: motivation for writing this is an old yunho live + reread studio sessions and it gave me ideas, but enjoy ! Ciao 🤍

Your eyes have a droning ache to them and are beginning to burn a bit from staring at a screen. Back aches from sitting at your desk for many hours begins to set in and you feel soo cold despite the cardigan you chose to wear.

You’re mindlessly typing at all the documents your boss has forced onto you due to 3 coworkers randomly taking a vacay.

You’ve doubled your hours and tripled your workload. Barely having time to take care of yourself or hang out with your roomie yunho. You’ve had to blow him off so many times because of this overbearing schedule.

You needed a break from the eyesore of files so you open your emails. Big mistake, hundreds of emails with “URGENT” load making you groan and have your head fall into your hands.

“Hey y/n ! I didn’t think you’d still be in the office.” Your coworker chirps to you. You look up from your hands, eyes low and barely able to curl the corner of your lips into a greeting smile. “Woah you look….”

“Terrible, yea I know it’s the 15 hours of being awake.” You mumble. “Wait have you…not clocked out yet.” her eyes are wide in shock, you’ve been here since before opening time up until after hours.

“..was supposed to leave like 3 hours ago but, boss sent another folder of docs to go through.” You can barely keep your eyes open.

Minutes of persuasion later, your coworker finally convinces you to head home. You trudged your way there, body feeling spent. You finally get to your shared apartment and open the door. Yunho had been waiting for you in the living room.

“Finally I was worried, what kept you at work so late ?” Yunho stood from the couch rushing to you. He takes your work bag and helps you take your cardigan off.

“I already told you Yunho, ‘have to work overtime because 3 people called off.” You’re stumbling a bit taking your shoes off, and Yunho looks you up and down concerned.

You looked washed of all color and personality, your eyes lost their spark, an overall tired look. In Yunho’s eyes you’ll always be pretty no matter what; but it hurt him to see his bsf that he loves deeply cares about the most so overworked.

“I made some dinner go wash up and if you have energy left eat a bit.” He watches you slowly step to the bathroom.

After your shower you head into the living room. Yunho sees you emerge from the hallway and plop yourself on the couch. You look better and refreshed, but still have a burnt out expression. He brings you your dish.

While lifting your arms up to grab the dish from him you wince and groan. Your shoulders in pain from the terrible office chair posture you’ve been stuck in for the past 5 days.

“God my back and shoulders are killing me.” You sit the dish down and begin to eat. He can’t stand to see you like this. He sits close by you, and runs his large hands across your shoulders and runs them down your back. You sigh from comfort, which encourages Yunho to run his hands back up to your shoulders and begin to massage.

But..the breaths and small noises you’re letting out are making Yunho…feel a type of way. The way you’re being so pliant with a face of pure submission. Then the kicker comes.

“Harder…” you say while adjusting your back.

“W-what huh.” Yunho double takes and pauses.

“Harder please.., add more pressure.” His face is red , is he really getting worked up from some words and noises out of you. Your attire doesn’t help either, a tshirt of his and some fitted shorts. “Oh..ok..” Yunho presses a bit harder and runs his longs finger deeper into your shoulder’s muscle tissue.

“So good..I needed this so bad.” You whisper, tilting your head so Yunho could have more space to massage. You’re unknowingly driving him crazy . He just wants to take all your stress and pains away by making you feel good..even if it’s just by his hands alone.

He wonders how much relief he can give you by moving his hands down into your shorts. Making you relax by massaging and filling your cunt with his fingers.

“Y/n…I want..” Before he can finish he notices you’ve gone extremely quiet and your breathing slowed. You’re asleep. Damn it. All he could do is sigh and carry you to bed.

——————-

Today was finally your day off, or it was supposed to be.

Earlier in the day you and Yunho were sat together on the couch watching tv. You’re leaned into his shoulder and had both of your hands on your lap. Every now and again..you’d glance at his hands.

They were on top of yours, lightly stroking your pinky with his thumb. They were so big and pretty. You liked Yunho’s hands. Holding them, him helping you with your hair, they’re just so satisfying you start to wonder what else he could do with them.

But those thoughts get shut down quick when your phone buzzes with a message. It’s from your boss.

“There’s a meeting from 5pm to 10pm. It’s your day off but we need more members to come. Be there.”

Yunho glances and sees the message. “Ugh, can’t believe how much of an asshole your boss is.” He sees you taking quick looks at your work bag. “God (y/n) don’t go please.”

“But Yunho what if it’s urgent or serious.” You sigh.

“It’s your day off. You’ve been working almost everyday for the past few weeks. You’re literally drained and sleep deprived.”

“I know but…” You know it wouldn’t be wise to go but you fear how your integrity is viewed at the office.

“But nothing…you’re not going.” Yunho now got a text on his phone. “Shit I forgot.” He pauses the tv and heads to the shoe rack to toss on sneakers. “ Jongho needs me to go by the guy’s place and help with his car.”

You get up to open the door for him. But he stops you mid step and opens it himself. “When I get back you better still be here resting and not at that stupid meeting.” He says sternly pointing a finger. “Understood ?” “Fine..understood.”

You tried staying put at you two’s apartment you really did. Distracting yourself with your phone + tv. But your boss kept sending text after text and update after update. One specific text had your attention however. “Your position will be threatened if you don’t come.”

Despite wanting to respect Yunho’s wishes. You get dressed and head over to the office.

——————-

It’s been 3 hours. You feel regret for even sitting your ass down into this office chair to be at this meeting. You’ve gotten a text but weren’t able to open it since the meeting required high attention from everyone involved.

Your boss leaves for a quick phone call and everyone else is immersed in their paperwork. You pull your phone from your pocket and see the message you had missed.

“Get back home, right now.”

Could he really be mad at you for heading in for a meeting on your day off ?

A secretary comes in. “Hey y/n someone has called for your dismissal, something about an emergency.” Oh wow.

You leave the meeting early and begin to head home. Once again, feet and back hurting, worn out from the 3 hours you were present for in the meeting.

You get home and Yunho was there waiting, but something was different. His demeanor was as serious as his text.

You start removing your coat and kick off your shoes. “Sorry Yun I know you said not to go but it seemed so urgent.” While hanging your coat up you wince because once again, your body is overwhelmed from the lack of sleep, being stuck to an office chair, and walking to and from work.

Yunho notices your discomfort immediately, and how you’ve overworked yourself.

“Sit down.” he opens his legs, leans down and pats the space on the floor. You look around confused but head your way over. You finally sit and Yunho let’s out a big sigh and begins lightly rubbing up and down your back.

“So tense..” He whispers feeling out your back. His touches this time wakes something in you. He adds more pressure, you can feel his fingers press and rub. “You know you work so hard…but never give yourself time to unwind…..can you relax for me ?” A tinge of arousal sits in your lower half.

He starts rubbing your shoulders in a strong round motion, eliciting a gentle noise out of you. He brings his hands up to your neck, carefully rubbing it, it feels so sensitive you begin to let out hums of satisfaction.

Then he ghosts his hands down your back, onto your thighs. “You must be sore here too, hm ?” He rubs into your thighs flesh. “Fuck…” You squirm a bit, “Hold still for me.”

After him rubbing and pressing into your thighs with his large hands, you’re officially wet. His soft words and touch has you feigning for more.

“Yunho…please.”

“I can’t give you what you want unless you tell me.” He says, ghosting his hand closer to your clothed cunt.

“Use your fingers on me..” He’s been waiting for this, now he can truly make you feel good and have you unwind. “Go ahead and take your bottoms off for me.”

——————

You’re sat in the same place between Yunho’s legs faced away from him but now your bottoms are gone and legs are spread.

He’s behind you arm reached down carefully finger fucking your cunt. His long thick fingers filling you so well. They reach places inside you can’t even reach with your own.

You can hear his fingers go in and out from you, his fingertips rubbing and pressing on the right spot inside. “Such a mess for me,, my good girl.” Your arousal is spread from your inner thighs onto his hand. You’ve came about twice by now.

You’re moaning loud, please’s and yes’s spilling from your mouth. Yunho doesn’t want a noise complaint from nosy neighbors, so he brings 2 of his fingers from his free hand into your mouth. “Sssh baby.”

You’re leaned back, head resting on his thigh clenching around his fingers at this point. “So close aren’t you,,,go ahead cum on my fingers again.” A few more pumps into your cunt and you cum, some more arousal leaking onto his hand.

You look down and see the mess. Embarrassment starts to run through you. Not because of what you’re doing and who it’s with, but because you’ve never been so exposed and vulnerable with Yunho before.

“Aah no no you’re thinking too hard.” He kisses the top of your head. “ ‘supposed to be relaxing for me right baby ?” He picks you up and carries you into his bedroom and strips himself of his clothes.

All you have left on is your button up shirt and bra. Yunho gets back on the bed and hovers over you.

“…Yun..kiss me.” He leans down and kisses you roughly. Starting with bruising kisses into him letting his tongue in your mouth; unbuttoning your shirt while kissing you and you remove your bra.

He takes opened mouthed kisses down your neck into the space between your tits. He starts to grab one with his hand and nips and sucks on the other, he kisses further down and finally gets to your cunt.

He doesn’t tease or waste time, he’s already lapping and eating you out. Bringing his tongue in and out your hole and swirling his tongue around your clit. Occasionally bringing 3 fingers in and pressing kisses onto your bundle of nerves. “Need to make you dumb, can’t let you think about that shitty job again.”

Within an hour…3 times. He makes you cum 3 more times and swallows your release and orgasm each time. You’re cunt is sensitive now, every lick and touch of his tongue has your hips jerking up and mouth agape. You can’t let it end this way though.

“Your cock…lemme cum on it.” Yunho’s head is spinning, it’s already one thing he has you dumb from his mouth and hands alone..he can’t believe you’re asking for his cock. He gets up and grabs a condom from his drawer, tears the packaging with his teeth and slides it on.

He softly kisses you a couple times, “Breathe ok..relax…” He aligns himself and pushes his cock in. He begins with slow long drags of his cock, placing his fingers on your neck and they wrap around it oh so perfectly. Seeing your eyes roll back makes him start snapping his hips.

“This is what you needed right, to be fucked dumb..forget all your responsibilities while on my cock.” You’re a babbling mess. His thick cock stretching you so good and rubbing against that spot just like how his fingers did. “So good Yunho fuckk”. Your whimpers begin to grow louder, he leans down to kiss you and swallow your moans and pants.

You can feel the building up of sensations deep inside. You didn’t have much time to last and Yunho knew it. “Is my good girl about to cum.” You nod slowly, focusing on how the tight knot of pleasure in you was about to burst. He starts pounding you, the beds beginning to rock.

“About to cum…I’m almost there.” you breathe out.

He can feel your walls clamping tighter and tighter. “Cum with me..cum with me and let all your worries go.” After a couple more erratic thrust you cum all over his cock. His orgasm coming close behind, his hips stutter and he releases in the condom.

After a few moments of panting, Yunho carries you into the bathroom sitting you on the counter and takes a rag to clean you both up a bit. He leaves for a bit and comes back dressed into pjs holding a tall glass of water and some of your pjs.

“I’ll make us something to eat and after we can take a nap so you can rest, ok ?” You nod and take the water from him.

“Meet me in the kitchen when you’re all done .” While he’s walking out you tug his shirt back and lean into him. You kiss Yunho before he leaves the bathroom.

While getting ready to make you both a quick meal, he sees your phone that you left on the counter. It’s multiple texts from your boss. So many rude, demanding messages.

Then bam, your boss is calling. And Yunho decides to pick up.

“Finally you answer your damn phone, we need you because we’re a person short for our next presentation Monday so bring yourself right bac-” Yunho hangs up on him.

You wander into the kitchen asking who it was he was on the phone with.

“Oooh nobody.” He strokes your face and lands a kiss before continuing to prepare your meals.

[devildomsoup]

Silly little headcanons #1

Lucifer

Definitely has a favourite pen and everyone dreads the day he will have to change it.

He once shrunk Cerberus and carried him around in a handbag because he had to go to the vet.

Joint pains (no, I will not elaborate)

Has a picture in his wallet of his brothers and MC. Luke is also there for some reason.

Mammon

Will turn off the lights and walk out of his room. Walks back a few moments later to check if he remembered to turn the lights off.

Boops his younger brothers on the nose when he says goodnight.

Considered dying his hair piss yellow at some point.

He swears that Luke is just an annoying little chihuahua that he doesn't care about. But the pictures of him accompanying Luke to the cinema suggest otherwise.

Leviathan

He forgets to throw out socks with holes in them. So sometimes he will just walk around with socks that are barely holding on.

Has a controller that only MC is allowed to use. He will not even use it himself.

Can touch his nose with his tongue

Accidentally called his brothers "Ruri" on multiple occasions.

Satan

Has an album on his phone with pictures of him and Lucifer. Will deny it if you ask him.

Once cursed the entirety of Lucifer's record collection. The curse in question made it so the only song on any of the records was Baby Shark.

When he wants MC's attention he will go "pspspsps."

Satan has put on his blue jacket normally a grand total of 6 times.

Asmodeus

Will wear heels with just about anything. Yes, that includes sweatpants.

A lesser demon once found out about MC's deepest insecurity and started using it to insult them. Asmodeus found out and sent the demon flying through a wall.

He either sneezes like a cat or like an old man. There is no in-between.

He reminds everyone in HoL to drink water and will make sure they do so one way or another.

Beelzebub

Not allowed to be alone in RAD's art supply room. He will eat the paint if left unattended.

He only had 4 shirts until Asmodeus forced him to get more.

Takes Luke with him around RAD when Simeon can't. Also scared of any demon that looks at Luke the wrong way.

He has carried every single one of his brothers to bed more than once. Lucifer is no exception.

Belphegor

Follows the cat rule. If it fits I sits.

Don't tell anyone but his favourite blanket is the jackets of his older brothers.

Will sometimes force people to take a nap with him. Does someone look tired boom it's nap time.

Pops his back really loudly whenever he wakes up

Simeon

Will show anyone and I mean anyone pictures of Luke like a proud father.

Got scammed once and now he's afraid of opening links.

He once accompanied Beel to a workout and ended up destroying a punching bag.

Do not under any circumstances let him be alone in the candle section of a store. Purgatory Hall already has a closet full of them.

Raphael

Tried to kill a fly with one of his spears.

When asked if he wanted anything special for his birthday he requested a cake made by Solomon.

Enjoys watching butterflies flutter around. He will stand absolutely still if one lands on him and stay like that until the butterfly leaves again.

Wins every staring contest.

Luke

Has gotten lost in stores, parks and RAD so many times that he now has a bracelet with the contact info of Simeon and Barbatos. Even though he has his own D.D.D.

Mimics Simeon and Raphael to appear like a mature angel.

He will never admit it but he makes drawings for the brothers.

Luke and MC have a secret handshake.

Solomon

Immune to the pain of stepping on a lego.

Once accidentally turned himself into a rat and nearly got murdered by Barbatos.

Enjoys watching romcoms with MC.

Can and will randomly appear in MC's room tell them a horrible joke and then vanish into thin air.

Thirteen

She has the most random things in her pocket. Watch her pull out a porcelain frog from one of her pockets.

She had a buzz cut at some point.

Will drag you out of bed in the middle of the night so you can test her new inventions.

Loves playing with people's hair. It doesn't matter what texture or length it is. Just let her play with it.

Diavolo

Has a rubber duck collection.

Was introduced to vocaloid and now he won't stop singing World is Mine.

Gives the best hugs. 10/10 would hug again.

Buys Barbatos flowers every week to show his appreciation.

Barbatos

Knows how to tap dance.

Let's MC call him Barbie.

He receives small trinkets from the Little Ds.

Will cradle MC like a little baby when he is stressed or just missed them.

Mephistopheles

He enjoys soup.

He says he hates hugs. But in reality, he might even shed a few tears if you hug him.

A master of building card houses.

Once took care of a bat until it was healthy enough to live on its own.