#read my inner thoughts

[mikittalabs]

ya know something i realized i have not made clear at all about mikey is that i did not make him responsible so i could frame it as a wholly positive thing.

like in the grocery store incident aftermath, it is very neat that he can help leo through a panic attack, but he is 16. until then, the turtles have had like silly sibling arguments with each other and the occasional "oh shit human almost spotted me" moment while on the surface with splinter.

i mean mikey's been running errands for years by that point, he cooks for everyone, cleans, settles any random arguments leo and raph have gotten into, he's basically a 2nd parent. he is 16. splinter's got a ton of baggage that i'm like, almost ready to just dump unceremoniously on here lol and it has definitely affected all of his children, but mikey is the oldest.

mikey is splinter's favorite. i mean wouldn't everyone like a kid that can act as a stand-in for emotional support and can do all the chores? that's so cool and totally not emotional abuse and parentification or whatever.

i mean i guess i alluded to it in the one-shot itself, but ya know, probably could've spent a bit more time introducing yall to these characters until i threw you into the deep end lmao.

[dreamingsoflavender]

It hurts so much to give your love knowing that you're getting nothing back

[puddii-ng]

a nostalgic feeling ♪

[eshithepetty]

Not Me.

[ID: art of Unknown Percentage from Mob Psycho 100 looking into a bathroom mirror, 'Mob' looking back. They're both wearing blue pajamas. The art is lineless and done in blue and purple tones. The water in the sink, which Unknown is clutching to the point of it cracking, is swirling - as is Unknown's aura, rising upwards and to the corners. Mob's red eyes stare back, expression unreadable. End ID.]

[finleycannotdraw]

trying out a different brush pen for coloring!! this is a scene from chapter 10 of With All the Hope and All the Doubt by QueenScarletTheKing on ao3 :) it’s part 2 of a series, and I highly recommend checking it out for a fun au, hilarious and emotional writing, the boys being dumb, nimona being a cat, and a great journey of how anxiety is different depending on how you’ve lived!!!

not gonna lie, I drew the kitchen the way I’ve been picturing it in the fic but I have no idea if it’s accurate

[laufire]

honestly I find the idea of challenging the assumptions made by other bats about jason far more satisfying than The 1167th Story about How Jason Was Wrong about the Bats Who Love Him Very Very Much So Now It's All Fixed. in part because I think the first ones were both more numerous and more inaccurate, but also because as I've discussed with other fans jason is like. far less precious about re-evaluating his opinions on a person when he gets new information (teen titans '03 #29). and this is the reason why I've clicked back on so many fics xD

[divinehands]

There is an interesting part of the book that I read today

There is no end to the weighing of things, no stop to time, no constancy to the division of lots, no fixed rule to beginning and end. Therefore great wisdom observes both far and near, and for that reason, it recognizes small without considering it paltry, recognizes large without considering it unwieldy, for it knows that there is no end to the weighing of things. It has a clear understanding of past and present, and for that reason, it spends a long time without finding it tedious, a short time without fretting at its shortness, for it knows that time has no end. It perceives the nature of fullness and emptiness, and for that reason, it does not delight if it acquires something or worry if it loses it, for it knows that there is no constancy to the division of lots.

Zhuangzi, The Complete Works of Zhuangzi, Watson tr. (Ch 17)

[bookouvre]

"There are different versions of truth.

Some may be sweet, some maybe bitter"

[fictionadventurer]

There's nothing quite like the euphoria of finding a book at exactly the right time. A book that you might mildly enjoy or even dislike at another time, but you happen to come across it in just the right mood or mindset, or at just the right age or just the right time of year, so it fits perfectly into your heart and it's elevated into something spectacular.

[octiolus]

I love tumblr, y’all are so freaking funny.

[dreamingsoflavender]

I'm trying to heal the love of my life, but at the same time, I'm trying to heal my broken heart as well. No one sees that

[aho-dapa]

Just some rambles on The Stranger, and like, by no means am I saying I'm correct about my interpretation, I'm just exploring a different idea

*also, a personal note about death, grief, and parental abuse

Reading the Stranger rn and it's soooooo painfully idk obvious?? Or at least relatable that Meursault is autistic

Like, the book is from his pov but I honestly think his "lack" of emotion comes from his own nebulous understanding of them

He feels content while never saying it but acting it out, and he focuses on moments as if he's been struck by them but can't plainly state why

Tbh, idk, but being sentimental about it, Meursault (and how it's interpreted within him being an absurd character) kills for no reason.

Except there was, aside from the excuses of the knife or Meursault's mood. Its the sun. The sun that supposedly represents the meaninglessness of life and death as something inevitable but

Idk, I'd say to some extent, the sun is ambivalent to meaning, but that doesn't mean it doesn't help life grow or just as equally destroy it either

Rather, it's something that can't be moved by sentiment in this worldview and by extension, Meursault is blinded by the sun

Also just from a personal indulgence, I would say that Meursault's mother is the sun, and so is he too by some extent.

I've heard that people say the dog is his mother, but I also wonder if the dog is Meursault as well

"Why does Salamano treat his dog that way?"

And like, idk I think a lot of Meursault’s limited portrayal of emotion as he himself narrates it makes sense to me with the idea of it all connecting back to his mother

They are inseparable, the same, and they both meet their end

From the perspective of someone with not a great mother, this premise is relatable and maddening, it doesn't make sense, and like to be frank because I've been dancing around it because I feel like I'm projecting but,

With parental abuse and love, there is a sense of both chains and disattachment that honestly terrified me because it came from a place of 'this is how society expects you grieve' and I didn't, not in the way that's viewed as "acceptable" or "normal" either

Also, as someone who lost someone years ago, I didn't grieve by crying or being distraught for months because of it, I grieved by remembering and letting go

As a kid, I understood that my quiet was not what was expected, and kissing the cold forehead of someone I loved after they've died, I've resolved myself to never go to a funeral ever again

In some way, if Meursault’s mother was abusive, from the perspective of a child, these actions are absurd and don't make sense until kids try to either make a reason themselves or they are told

But also. Just coming from an autistic perspective, Meursault doing or not doing certain things at his mother’s funeral is categorized as him not caring for his mother (or at least enough) and like????? His actions have no relation really to his emotions

Idk, I just think I've read a lot of takes that Meursault is completely emotionless and that's like??? Idk, I don't agree at all

Also, I think Meursault's ambiguous relationships and nebulous emotions are the point tbh

(Which allows for literal interpretations like mine)

[feminiel]

Major big themes of my spiritual awakening process:

Emotional healing

Self-discovery

Journaling

Emotional freedom technique

Reading

Healing my ego

Finding who I am

Finding my place in the world

Finding my life's purpose

Working and healing my divine feminine energy: love, emotions, receptive nature, intuition, soul, healing mother wounds, self-nurturing, inner healer, sensitivity, values, creativity, abundance

Working and healing my divine masculine energy: ego, assertiveness, self-confidence, identity wounds, self-expression, healing father wounds

Balance

Transformation

Inner child healing

Shadow work

Light work

Energy

Self-beliefs

Spirituality and finding meanings

Astrology

Inner work

Manifestation

[thatswhatsushesaid]

man you guys I have just made myself SO MAD about how literally everyone treats lan xichen after jin guangyao's death in the guanyin temple confrontation.

just starting with nhs's abject refusal to be transparent about whether jgy was or was not attempting to attack him from behind:

then just having to sit here with the growing, dreadful certainty that nhs did something truly heinous to the body of jgy's mother as part of his revenge quest--meng shi, who was a genuinely innocent person:

and then this final question that he asks himself out loud while the rest of the cast of characters are still hovering around, which no one answers, of course, because no one else can:

(plot twist: or can they??? put a pin in that for now)

but this is the moment that galls me the most. when lan qiren shows up and sees both lwj and lxc not being their usual peerless jade selves, he rounds on lxc, of course and says this:

I don't know, lan-xiansheng, what in the fucking world do you think is wrong with your oldest nephew, who you single-handedly raised, maybe read the fucking room for five seconds and figure it out?? "lan xichen's face was full of an unspeakable grief," god this would be a really great moment for lan wangji to come to his brother's side to provide some support of some kind, even if he's not great with these kinds of displays, because lxc cared for lwj throughout his seclusion--oh, wait, what's that? he and wwx have just fucked off entirely??

[edited to add: @leatherbookmark pointed out that lqr’s response here may be a translation issue!! i retract much of my salt about lqr here… but god, lxc is still so devastated. he’s grief-stricken.]

(lan jingyi knows what's good, don't bring up that guy around lqr)

but uhhhhh sure wangji, your brother is clearly /gestures, like that, go ahead and bail.

this bit from the next chapter is what really grinds my gears tho, because I somehow forgot that wangxian's decision to withhold such crucial information back from lxc during the temple was 1) so fucking overt, and 2) explicitly confirms that they did not want to share information with lxc that would make him feel more sympathetic towards jgy:

...are you kidding me right now!! "even now I still don't think we should tell him" + "each could only deal with their own troubles... comfort was useless. it'd all be in vain"

/shoves both of you jerks into a mud puddle

[thehobbutts]

i really appreciate when people who know me irl compliment me on my weight loss (it feeds the body dysmorphia monster in my brain) but then they're like HOW DID U DO IT and i have to be like haha just exercising more :) because there's not a tactful way to say I Have An Eating Disorder

[lucy-ghoul]

there's something about peake's writing style that reminds me of susanne clarke's in jonathan strange & mr norrell - the sophisticated humour, maybe - which i love. also, imo you can easily see he was an artist because his descriptions, the way he weaves words, are like exquisite paintings... it's fascinating how his love for art conflates in his writing too