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unicyclehippo · 1 year

Note

Hmmm...how about a one word prompt of...Skin?

for @possibilistfanfiction i hope it makes u laugh

two

every week, superion talks to beatrice late tuesday night. at the end of every call, she asks to speak to you and you let her.

are you struggling with anything? she’ll ask, or what has your week been like? or, how are you, ava? she doesn’t ask that one often because it makes you hang up on her fast. like. what the fuck are you supposed to do? she says your name nicely, makes it sound like she wants to know about you, not the halo, and yeah. it’s a bit much to deal with.

‘we went to the thrift shop,’ you tell her week two, ‘and spent half the money you sent us on clothes. beatrice got new pyjamas.’ from the kitchen, beatrice sends you a betrayed look. you wave at her. you’re not going to tell superion that you picked out boxers for her—black, comfortable—and that you think you’re going to have a heart attack every night because beatrice has surprisingly buff legs, toned, and the first time she came out of the bathroom in boxers you had to put your hands under your head, pin them down with your heavy fucking skull so you didn’t touch her legs, her knees. how knees could be sweet, you have no fucking clue, but beatrice’s knees are sweet, soft in repose and then sharp and strong when she moves and. yeah. anyway.

‘i’ve never bought clothes before,’ you tell superion, and beatrice looks startled and a little sad and you laugh because it’s funny, actually, not sad. ‘i stole the hottest dress from this rich lady’s house—um, borrowed, i mean. they don’t really have high fashion here but i picked up some cute stuff. right, bea?’ beatrice ducks her head. ‘she says yes and also wants to know if spending this money means i’m your sugar baby now. or the pope’s. ow! okay, she didn’t say that but she did throw a pen at me. i’m your halobearer, that’s so rude!’

‘phase through it next time,’ beatrice suggests, and almost smiles when you flip her off.

‘hello, ava. is there anything you wish to talk about tonight?’

you have been thinking of things to say all week that’ll make superion hang up on you and so, when you pluck the phone out of beatrice’s hand, you’re grinning. she picks up on your energy and excuses herself to the bathroom.

‘so much. where to start? bea has been kicking my ass in training. i think she’s enjoying it. is that allowed? i thought nuns were supposed to not enjoy things.’

‘i’m sure any and all enjoyment pertains to the pleasure all instructors feel when their student shows improvement.’

‘no,’ you muse. beatrice is for sure eavesdropping so you raise your voice a little and say, ‘i think she’s a sadist.’

the bathroom door slides open half an inch, just enough for beatrice to shoot a forbidding look out at you. it’s undermined by the way some of her hair hangs free of her bun and the toothpaste smeared at the corner of her mouth and she’s brushing neatly and you want so badly to squash up next to her and clean your teeth there with her, in your stupidly small bathroom, so you forget all your nun jokes you’ve prepared and say,

‘all good here, supes. catch you next week,’ and hang up on her.

beatrice is in boxers that show off her knees. her sleep shirt is tucked into the waistband of her boxers, which is so endearing you think you might explode. you press your fingers to her hip and nudge her away from the sink so you can get in there and wet your brush. you do the same thing every night. she ought to know by now. she does know by now. you think she wants you to touch her, to lay your hand gently on her hip and make her space into your space. the toothpaste is minty and froths up as you brush enthusiastically. beatrice swishes her mouthwash. puts her hand on your wrist. you obediently shuffle away from the sink so she can spit neatly into it.

‘short conversation with mother superion tonight.’

you shrug. ‘tired, i guess.’ it’s half true. you would have happily made a nuisance of yourself but tonight, you just want to brush your teeth next to beatrice and go to bed.

‘am i pushing you too hard?’

you consider the question. tuck your hair behind your ears so it doesn’t get in the way when you bend, spit into the sink too, like beatrice did. rinse. wash your brush, strick it into the polka dot toothbrush holder on the counter.

‘i want to learn. i’ll do whatever i have to do.’ beatrice eyes you like you’ve said something really interesting, which is worrisome because you don’t know what about that was interesting. ‘bedtime. wanna be little spoon tonight?’

beatrice goes pink at the offer and you can’t resist lifting a hand to her cheek, to touch it. she doesn’t pull away, but her eyes go wide.

‘sorry.’

‘no, sorry,’ you say almost immediately. ‘um. i’ll check the front door is locked.’ you run out of the bathroom, through to the kitchen and the front door. thunk your head hard against the wood and swear under your breath. blindly reach for the door handle. turn it gently. it hits the lock and you release it. you stand there for a few long minutes, hearing the sounds of the bedsheets and beatrice shuffling and the click of the lamp turning off and then the apartment is dark and still and there’s a longing right on the centre of your tongue, dry and empty like a wafer sucking the moisture from your mouth, and you want to pick up the phone and tell superion, i want to live. i don’t want beatrice to teach me how to fight, i don’t want you to know my name, i want this to be real. a home in the mountains and a girl who wants me to touch her.

beatrice pretends to be asleep when you finally join her, crawling into bed and pulling the sheets up to your shoulders. you’re always careful about touching her, when and where you do it, and tonight is no exception.

‘bea?’ you whisper.

‘yes, ava?’

‘can i –‘ you reach over. hover your hand over her forearm.

beatrice shuffles in the bed. the lamps in the street outside are dim and they have covers that keep the light shining down to the street instead of filling the sky. it’s not enough to see beatrice by. you light the halo—the tiniest bit—and her expression goes awed and nervous all at once.

‘you shouldn’t.’

touch her? use the halo?

‘i want to. feels good.’ beatrice breaths out. she won’t say it, and won’t ask you, but when you move your hand to hover over her wrist, sidle close enough to hold her, she doesn’t stop you. ‘g’dnight, bea.’

‘goodnight, ava. sleep well.’

‘good evening, ava. i trust you are well?’

‘we got jobs!’

‘beatrice informed me.’

‘of course she did,’ you roll your eyes. catch sight of the brim of the pink cowboy hat still squashed onto your head you had been given tonight as a prize, the only thing you had wanted. it's a little small, maybe made for a kid, but whatever. ‘did she tell you it’s at a bar? she doesn’t drink but she’s killing it at the books. i don’t have the same hang ups – hans is teaching me everything about being a great bartender and it involves a lot of alcohol. i can – he’s german and i drunk him under the table. i think the halo helped. do you – can the halo heal being drunk, do you think? did i cheat? maybe i should give him this hat back.’

‘i will ask you not to test the limits of the halo in this manner.’

‘i know, i know, control the halo, don’t draw attention, blah blah blah—bea already gave me the speech. i’m being safe. it was just some fun, mother,’ you tease, feeling loose and good and happy. ‘the hat suits me, though. it’s pink.’

superion’s smile bleeds into her voice. you grin, imagining it. a smile on that stern face. that’s the best, that’s one of the things you love the most, making people smile, making people laugh, especially when you have to find the right way to come at it. this feels almost too easy? you’re just…telling her about your day and your job and the hat you won but you know that she’s smiling and you’re a little drunk so you decide not to think about whether she likes you or is showing some softer side of herself for your benefit and just enjoy it.

‘you are entitled to some fun, ava.’

‘tell bea that. and her too. she can have fun too. she doesn’t have to drink, just relax a tiny bit. right?’

‘sister beatrice will attend her duty as she sees fit, you know that. and,’ she adds dryly, ‘i believe she is more likely to listen to you when it comes to relaxation.’

‘what you’re saying is i need to convince her. i need to tempt her.’

superion sighs. ‘drink some water, please, ava. look after yourself. and beatrice.’

‘yeah, always.’

there’s a girl who comes to your bar to flirt with you specifically. you know that because she told you, because she pressed her teeth to the pink of her lip and pressed against the hardwood bar, leaning over it to give you a good—really good—view of her chest and for a second you’d forgotten that there was anyone else in the bar when she looked at you so intently. and she told you.

‘you know i’ve been flirting with you, right?’

‘you? no way, this is a huge surprise,’ you’d teased, because she’s been super unsubtle.

the other night, she’d let the condensation from her beer bottle drip onto her chest and asked so sweetly for a napkin and laughed when you went tongue-tied and clumsy, dropping the cocktail shaker. which was fine because it was empty but it had clanged on the stone floor and hans had looked over with this stupidly knowing grin and only laughed when you flipped him off.

‘sometimes girls don’t know,’ she’d shrugged. ‘and i don’t like to waste my time. you like girls?’

you spin the beer bottle in your hand, because it’s a fun trick and because it makes girls look at your hands. dani is no exception. you haven’t said it out loud before but you want to. should you wait for a special moment? or does the moment become special when you say it?

‘girls are incredible,’ is what you end up saying. it’s not that you’re scared, it’s just that beatrice isn’t here and some part of you kind of expected to say it to her first, the way she’d shared that with you.

dani doesn’t take it as a cop out, thank god. she grins, big and bold, and tosses her hair back over her shoulder. ‘yeah. incredible. let me take you out, ava—dinner, dancing, drinks. what do you say?’

you should say no. for multiple reasons, but chief among them the fact that when dani used her water on her tits trick, you’d thought about beatrice and what her reaction would be if you tried it on her. probably, it’s a dick move to think about another girl when one is being so kind as to show you her tits. but. beatrice is a nun and dani is not. super not. she’s portuguese and taller than you—most people are, to be fair—and you like that the bar is lifted over where the customers sit so she has to look up at you, but you also like looking up at her and the way she crowds you a little, smirks down at you when you sit a little sluttily on the barstool next to her, hand on her knee. she wears, like, a dozen silver rings and her earrings dangle and glitter when she shakes her head, which she does when you make her laugh really hard, and when you think about kissing her it’s, yeah. good. it makes you a little tongue-tied and you stumble over your words and dani looks at you like she knows what you were thinking about which is. yeah. good.

you say yes.

'—compromising our mission here, compromising the halo, compromising herself—'

'whoa! where does the halo come into this? i'm not whipping my top off for her, it's a date.'

beatrice glares at you. she's standing tall and straight—well, rigid—and with the dark clouds gathering outside the window you're a little worried god will mistake her for a lightning rod, but mostly you're worried that you've actually hurt her by agreeing to go on this date. but then she goes and says,

'this is a stupid risk, you can't just - just--'

and you hate being called stupid so instead of trying to calm her down, you rise up to meet her. 'just what? say yes when a girl asks me out?'

'yes!'

'why not?' beatrice glares over your head, unable to meet your eyes. 'give me the phone.'

'what? no!'

'yes, give me the phone.'

'i'm still debriefing mother s—'

'give me the phone or i'll debrief on my date,' you tell her, and you can feel the anger and spite spitting on your tongue and sparking in your eyes. now she does meet your eyes; hers are black with fury, her jaw tense, and you're doubly pissed because you'd said yes to the date because dani is hot and has this quick flirty humour and because she looked at you like she could eat you up and it's a hell of a feeling to be on the receiving end of a look like that, but beatrice... beatrice is pissed and you're nearly positive it isn't because of the mission, and god, whatever your rules are about thinking nuns are hot, she looks hot with her jaw clenched and the muscles of her neck and shoulders tense like she's thinking about keeping you from the door by whatever means necessary. but she is a nun and you're not an asshole, or entirely selfish, so you said yes to dani because if you can't kiss the girl you like, you should be able to kiss a girl you like. right?

beatrice flicks a look over your outfit—high-waisted jeans, a shirt that shrunk in the one laundry load you did so now it shows off a decent strip of belly, and a blue sweater tied around your waist that you'd found over the back of the couch, in case it ends up raining—and she scowls.

'fine. fine.'

she grabs your wrist. your skin sears where she touches you—god, is this allowed? is this allowed? i'm gonna be thinking about this tonight in my alone time, is this allowed, dude?—and you open your hand, you'll take whatever she'll give you. you're so startled by her hand on you that you forget to be angry. if she weren't a nun, if she were a little more open, if she liked you the way you like her...

she drops the phone into your hand. it’s heavy and you nearly drop it, focused on—god forgive you, or better yet, mind your own fucking business dude—her. ask me out. ask me on a date. look at me like you want to push me against the brick wall outside where we work together and kiss me. she must see some of that in your eyes because she drags in a shaky breath and all the anger leaves her. she doesn’t move away. you look at her lips.

‘ava…’

your thumb flickers to mute the phone. ‘tell me not to go.’

beatrice huffs. ‘you want to.’

‘i’ll stay. i won’t go. if you ask.’

her hand goes to your hip. you want to know how much of her hand can fit there, on your skin where your top rides up. but she doesn’t touch you, even though you’re aching for it, even though she can see that you’re aching for it. it’s like there’s an invisible barrier that blocks her from moving those last few centimetres.

‘i’m taking a shift tonight,’ she says. ‘hans is sick.’

‘oh.’

‘i won’t be home. after. i’ll be back tomorrow,’ she says hurriedly, before your heart can totally break. ‘but not tonight.’

‘i’m not bringing her home. you know that, right?’

‘it would be fine if you did,’ beatrice lies, and pushes past you into the kitchen to collect her things.

you let her go. lift the phone to your ear.

‘hey. what’s the company policy on halobearers going out with girls? also, like, your personal policy. not that it fucking matters, i’m gonna do it anyway, but i suppose i’m curious. lesbians…thoughts?’

beatrice slams the front door behind her.

superion doesn't talk straight away—ha. you hear a chair dragging on stone and then a creak as she sits.

'well,' she says, and you forget about beatrice as much as you can because superion doesn't sound angry or disgusted. only considering. and this question isn’t totally about beatrice, it’s about you too, and you don’t care what superion thinks of you, you don’t. but. 'there is nothing written to specifically bar halobearers from dating girls.' nuns, on the other hand, she doesn't say but you hear it loud and clear. 'as for my personal policies... they revolve around, and are cemented in, caring for and protecting my order and my girls.’

‘what kind of protection?’

‘physical and emotional strength is paramount, as you know. if you are being safe, and if it is something that will make you happy, then i have no reason to forbid it.’

you think on that for a minute. then, in a small voice you don’t recognise, you ask her, ‘are you excited for me? can you be excited for me?’ tears sting your eyes and the back of your throat prickles with heat like you’ve drunk hot sauce again, or whiskey, and before superion can say anything, you break in again with, ‘i’m going to be late,’ kind of brusquely. ‘bye.’

after dinner and dancing and drinks, all the things she had promised, dani offers to walk you home.

you lean back against a lamppost and wind your fingers into the lapels of her lilac blazer and tug her forward, kiss her eagerly. the streetlight is almost the same warm gold as the halo, which is snug and silent between your shoulders. dani tastes like coffee, from her espresso martini. she kisses you, bold and unafraid. you’ve thought a couple times tonight about going home with her and you think about it again now, about letting her walk you home, about holding her hand as you let her into the apartment and pushing the same hand down the front of your jeans, into the underwear you bought new for precisely this reason, to where you’re slick between your legs and wanting but–

‘this was fun,’ you tell her, panting just a little.

she groans. kisses your jaw, your neck. fuck. ‘why does it sound like you’re saying goodnight?’

‘i - well - you’re making it fucking hard -’ you say, and laugh, and your stomach twists a little because if you had said that to bea she would press her lips together and shake her head and the way her laugh escapes as a huff makes you feel like you could walk over oceans, shoot up into the fucking sky. you make that joke in front of dani and she laughs, sure, but then half a second later her teeth are on your skin over your pulse and neither of you are thinking about the joke. which is fair. but while you want dani to touch you, she doesn’t make you feel like you can take on the world. she kiss you again. puts her hands on your waist, thumbs sliding up to brush over your belly. hands sliding up until her thumbs are dipping beneath your shirt, fingers wrapping around your hips, and you feel fucking incredible, delicate and wanted and hot. but.

‘dani, fuck -’

‘yeah, i know, saying goodnight.’ she sounds pretty wrecked too, which is a huge boost to your self-esteem because all you’re doing is clinging to her but apparently that’s fine. ‘you’re sure i can’t walk you to your door?’

‘if you walked me back, i’d take you upstairs,’ you tell her, and put a hand to her chest, push her gently away. ‘which - i had a lot of fun, but i can’t.’

dani nods. ‘text me when you get home though.’

‘of course, yeah.’

she takes a step back. out of the halo of the streetlight. you rake your eyes over her—she turned up in matching lilac blazer and slacks with this tiny white crop under the blazer and perfectly white sneakers, a few silver necklaces—and it reminds you a little of seeing doctor salvius for the first time, honestly, in her full pantsuit moment, and maybe you have a thing for women who look like they know what the fuck they want and how to get it.

‘fuck.’

‘baby, i’m trying.’

you flip her off and push away from the lamppost. ‘thanks for tonight. i had a really good time.’

she smiles and watches you leave. you look back when you reach the end of the road and she’s still there, waves.

by the time you get into the apartment, you’re considerably more drunk than you’d felt when you left the bar. you get the door unlocked, kick it closed behind you, and text dani as you struggle out of your jeans, kicking them vaguely in the direction of the wardrobe.

made it home thx for tonight

she doesn’t answer immediately. which is fair, she was drunk too and maybe she went back into the bar or whatever and you don’t really care but beatrice isn’t home and the apartment is quiet and cold and you’re standing pantless in the middle of the room and there’s a sinking feeling in your gut when you realise that you’re sad. it’s not fair. it’s not fair.

the phone is hidden away under a loose floorboard, because of course it is. you hear the wood snap as you peel it up. you’re alive and super strong and drunk and it's fine, the phone shouldn't be hidden away anyway, you shouldn't be hidden away. you pull it out, call the only number programmed into this stupid, bulky phone.

‘beatrice?’

‘no, it’s me.’

‘ah, ava. hello.’

you climb to your knees, push onto your feet. she sounds fine that you’ve called, totally unbothered. ‘i’m not struggling,’ you tell her.

‘i’m glad to hear it.’

‘i’m fine.’

she’s quiet. you think about her towering over you. i know you killed yourself. you are a coward. you think about her standing in front of you, putting herself between you and harm. you are worthy. you are.

‘i’m fine,’ you say again, anger hot on your tongue, hot down your spine. ‘i’ve been fine this whole fucking time but you keep asking so, so if you don’t believe me, let me tell you and maybe you’ll listen this time. i am fine. i’m not struggling. we’re hiding away from the fight and camila is in danger all the time and mary is gone and you - you talk to me but you don’t know me! you don’t know anything about me, and i know you don’t because you still think i’m going to run, or kill myself, but i never did, i never did and i won’t so stop asking me about my fucking life.’

‘ava,’

‘and stop saying my name! scolding me? poor crippled girl out on the streets—i have a job! i have friends! i’m really not fucking interested in what you think of me! fuck. you’re all the same. you nuns…you think b-because i’m not on my knees, crying and praying that i’m not grateful? i died! i’m alive! i’m grateful. you want me to thank you? you w-want me to learn how to be perfect from bea so that i’m worthy of the halo? so you don’t decide you’ve had enough of me? lighten the fucking burden of me? fuck perfection, fuck worthiness, fuck your god, and fuck your halo!’ you yell into the phone. anger stings your lungs; there’s not enough space around it for all the air you need.

‘breathe, ava.’ superion’s voice is muffled by distance and the crackling of the phone line and the dizzy swirl of your head. ‘ava,’ she says more sharply. ‘breathe.’

you breathe in.

‘good. again.’

you breathe in again, til your chest hurts with it. stumble over to the couch and curl into the arm of it, hand on your chest, feeling the trembling of your muscles, the desperation of your body to breathe, to live.

superion can hear when you settle a little. ‘i am sorry. my questions have never been about doubt.’ you scoff. ‘if you had come to the OCS another way, i would have asked you these things. i would have taken the time to know you. it is not doubt, ava.’

‘then what the fuck is it?’

‘it is care.’

‘fuck you.’

‘ava,’

‘no! fuck you. you’re not my mother.’ you want to cry. you want your scars back. you want anything that tells you you’ve been wanted even once, even if it’s that—a sick, dreamy, drowning memory of a twisting road by the ocean, and scars where a parade of people worked to save your life. your skin is blemish free. ‘i had a mother.’ you pick yourself up from the couch. slam through the kitchen cupboards until you find the vodka hans gifted you. you pour a shot into a stripey mug, clear liquid sloshing onto the tabletop. ‘i had a mother and she died and you’re not her. and the nun who cared for me killed me twice, you know. so. fuck.’ you throw back the shot. it stings. ‘you’re not my mother and i hate your stupid god and you don’t get to care about me. i don’t care. i don’t care. it’s not fair. my mum would—i could’ve told her, i could’ve come home to her. hey mum, i went on a date with a girl tonight and it was really nice. but i can’t tell her because she’s dead and you’re a shitty substitute.’

you drink again. and then—because the anger doesn’t feel as good as you hoped it would and doesn’t do anything about the sadness unspooling in your stomach, glossy and tangled like the tape out of a cassette—you twist the cap back onto the vodka and set it back into the cupboard.

superion says, ‘i’m not your mother. that’s true. but i am here to listen to you, and guide you. and i was unduly harsh on you but there is no doubt in my mind or my heart that you are worthy, not only of the halo but of the extraordinary life you will lead. and i am sorry that you cannot kiss someone and go home and call your mother.’

you’re standing, still pantless, in the kitchen and superion is being nice to you when you’ve just yelled at her more than you’ve yelled at anyone, ever. you sniffle. ‘a girl. kiss a girl and call my mother.’

‘yes. a girl.’

‘that’s important.’

‘i understand.’

‘it’s scary,’ you admit. ‘but it’s really awesome. and - and i don’t want to give any time to people and the church who think it’s a sin, i really don’t. because there are people who think - who have been made to think that it is a sin, that they’re bad and they’re not. they’re really wonderful, they’re beautiful and incredible and good. and i know you have faith in something, i don’t want - i don’t want to disrespect that - you love god and that’s cool or whatever. but if god has a plan for me, it’s shitty and it hurt and it’s not fair and i don’t want - i don’t believe in anything that cruel, i’m not going to and you can’t make me.’ you’re really tired all of a sudden. and very drunk. ‘i want my mum. do you have - you can talk to the pope, right? can he talk to god for me? can he make sure my mum is happy? i don’t believe but i think she did. can you - can you tell me if she’s happy? do you think she’d be proud of me?’

superion’s voice is thick with something you are too drunk to decipher. ‘yes, ava. she would.’ you feel turned inside out. like she’s touching raw, exposed nerves when she says, ‘thank you for talking to me.’

‘had to get drunk ‘n’ sad to do it. hooray.’

‘please drink some water and ensure the door is locked.’

‘’kay.’ you shuffle around to lock the door. pour a glass of water. it spills a little down your front but, whatever, it’s just water. ‘okay,’ you say again when you’re done. ‘sorry. for yelling.’

‘you are forgiven. and ava… you are fine. you are good. you do not believe, but i do, that God has made you in His image.’

‘wow. god’s really hot, huh? that’s cool.’

you sleep. beatrice is home when you wake up, sitting at the kitchen table with a book, a bowl of cut-up fruit, and a croissant. you don’t have a headache—thanks, halo—but your mouth is dry like you’ve eaten a mouthful of fucking sand and when you stumble out of bed to dunk your head in the kitchen sink, drinking straight from the table, she watches you, hawk-eyed.

it’s only when you stand, wipe your chin with your wrist, and flop into the chair opposite beatrice, stealing a piece of her fruit, that you realise you are pantless. without pants.

the tips of beatrice’s ears are red. her jaw is tight. ‘please put your pants away when you take them off,’ she says, and turns the page of her book even though you’re pretty sure she wasn’t done reading the last one.

‘uh. yeah. i will.’

her finger taps against the spine of the book. ‘did you - was it fun?’

‘yeah.’

‘good. i’m glad.’ beatrice pushes the croissant over to you. ‘pain au chocolat,’ she says, and you realise that the croissant isn’t hers, it’s yours, she bought it for you because she never buys herself chocolate croissants. you think of her standing in the beautiful, warm bakery after a stupid long shift and buying you a pastry to eat after you went on a date with another woman and she watches your hands for a while as you split the croissant, which flakes between your fingers, smears buttery goodness everywhere. you break off a tiny bit and hold it out to her. ‘it’s for you,’ she says, shakes her head.

‘try it.’

she gives in. she gives in, beautiful when she does it. hungry. takes the little piece and pops it between her lips, which curl upwards, pastry melting, chocolate melting on her tongue. there’s a bit of pastry on her lip and the whole room is full of light.

#tagging my stories #prompt fill #avatrice #warrior nun #i would kill n die for ava i hope u know that #mother superion

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strawberryraviegutz · 2 months

Text

I really REALLY hate those kinds of stupid “hot take” posts. I think they’re just garbage to purposely farm more discourse to cause infighting, but I’ve been holding this in for so long and I need to get it out of my system so here it goes.

Alastor fans are allowed to dislike Valentino. Valentino was made to be a dislikable Villain while Alastor BY VIV’S OWN WORDS is a chaotic neutral antihero based off of Dexter with a moral code. Of course people are gonna like Alastor more than Valentino. The antihero/vigilante is a very popular beloved trope. I mean just look at Magneto and Venom.

You guys claim to want more nuanced characters but when we try and tell you that Alastor is more nuanced BASED OFF OF EVIDENCE FROM THE CREATOR and little possible context clues in the show we get accused of “babying/woobifying him”(as if Val fans haven’t done that to Val). This isn’t a hit piece against all Val fans/simps btw. I may hate that moth, but you guys should be allowed like him without receiving hate and or death threats.

It’s not “hypocrisy” to dislike Valentino or the Vees and like Alastor for the reasons I said above and the four of them aren’t comparable. Yeah they share some traits but overall the only thing Alastor and the Vees have in common are the mistreatment of the souls they own. Like I said, Val fans shouldn’t be attacked for liking him but the thing is…if you’re gonna preach those words then do the same for Alastor fans/simps because we get attacked too.

(Again it’s not all Val stans but it sure it a lot of them. I’ve all so seen Val haters do it too.) Yall claim not to harass people over fictional characters yet will go under Alastor posts and or discussion threads and be like “Uhm actually him and Valentino are the same🤓☝️”.

“He’s worse than Val” “Why can’t we just have a good villain” “Just accept that Alastor is a villain stop babying him” when we’re just minding our own business. Not to mention people going under fanart of Angel! Alastor and being like “erm actually he’d never go to heaven🤪”.

Along with yall bullying the hell out of Alastor selfshippers/simps and using tumblr sexyman as an insult(which reaks of internalized misogyny btw because majority of Alastor simps are women + women are always the first to be made fun of when it comes to characters that Classify as tumblr sexymen being found attractive by them or any character you personally wouldn’t find attractive.)

And yall going around and keep calling Alastor ugly under posts about people gushing about him and i don’t mean lighthearted jokes either because i make fun of the back of his head sometimes too. And full blown harassment. When an Alastor fan provided evidence of Alastor being a more nuanced character which were clips from Viv’s streams, people in the comments and qrts were being extremely rude and dismissive. It got so bad that op deleted the og tweet.

Don’t go around and claim to be against cringe culture but then make fun of people for finding Alastor attractive. And for goodness sake STOP FUCKING CALLING HIM A SLAVE OWNER. And yes he owns souls but that doesn’t matter.

Alastor is canonically half black and its overall disgusting to slap the label “slave owner” onto him knowing damn well that he grew up in the Jim Crow era of America in the Deep South of Louisiana. His existence as a mixed black person back then was basically considered an abomination. With how terrible it was for black people back then, Alastor probably bore witness to a lot of messed up shit growing up and if that’s the case then it’s no wonder he’s so messed up in the head.

This type of behavior has been going on since the days where we only had the pilot and it’s only gotten worse since the show came out. As soon as I saw that scene with husk and Alastor in hell’s greatest dad I automatically knew what was coming. I’m not saying that Alastor Is a good person nor am I saying that what he did to husk was ok. But to go after/make fun of Alastor fans,purposely denying evidence of his character while in the same breath preach against bullying people over liking certain characters makes YOU the hypocrites. So much for anti-harassment. I’m tired. Bye.

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #vivzieverse #alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #husk hazbin hotel

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literallyspiderwoman · 1 month

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I hate Gwen’s dad.

Maybe this is just my own personal bias because he reminds me a lot of my dad, but if we’re being honest here, George Stacy is a fucking horrible dad. His ‘redemption’ arc isn’t even a redemption, he tried to hunt down Spider-Woman, and most importantly; he almost FUCKING SHOT HIS OWN DAUGHTER.

I understand that he thinks Spider-Woman murdered Peter, and it’s his duty as a cop to arrest her, but come on. He thought by hunting down Spider-Woman he was doing the right thing but in actuality he was just hurting his daughter more and more. I made a whole analysis of the arrest scene covering this, but this bitch seriously tried to arrest his own daughter after finding out she’s Spider-Woman because now he thinks she’s a murderer. Gwen was trying SO FUCKING HARD to get George to listen to her, but instead of hearing his own daughter out, he decided to be a little pussy ass bitch and be scared of her. Then he proceeds to AIM A FUCKING GUN AT GWEN and yells at her to not come any closer. If that doesn’t tell you that George is a terrible parent then I don’t know what does, this man willingly pointed a gun at his own daughter and yet somehow he still gets redeemed.

I honestly have no clue how Gwen managed to forgive her dad after all of this. No fucking wonder she left Earth 65 😭 If my dad did HALF of the shit George did I would never speak to him again, pointing a gun at your own daughter is crazy.

This is why Jeff is the best dad in both Spider-Verse films. He’s a cop just like George, but he’s chill with Spider-Man. He thought Spider-Man killed his brother but he quickly realized he was wrong about him. Why couldn’t George do the same with Spider-Woman? This man could’ve just listened to Gwen. He could’ve just believed her and heard what she had to say, but no. He fucking didn’t, and he almost shot her. Idc HOW many times this man says sorry, I will never forgive him for doing what he did. If I was Gwen I would’ve beaten his ass right then and there 💀 Not to mention how Peter was literally Gwen’s childhood friend, and George STILL thinks she’s responsible for his death?? Be so fr.

Another reason I don’t forgive George for what he did even after he was ‘redeemed’, is because he never said sorry to Gwen. All he did was say some emotional shit, quit his job, and hugged it out with her. That’s literally it. I may be wrong, but if you’re apologizing to someone, you’re usually supposed to say the words “I’m sorry”, but did George? NOPE!!! Honestly, his redemption just wasn’t enough. He never admitted Gwen didn’t kill Peter, he never told Gwen that he’s sorry for trying to arrest her and pointing a gun at her, not ONCE did he ever take accountability for his actions. The line “You’re the best thing I’ve ever done” was really heartwarming, but definitely was not enough to make me forgive his irredeemable actions.

He aimed a gun at his daughter, that’s permanent no-contact shit. Like I said I have no fucking idea how Gwen forgave him after this, she must have an AMAZING capacity to forgive people because that is just insane. The fact that she still loves him even after everything he did to her just goes to show how good of a heart she has. To be honest, I don’t like how the movie tried to play off George as someone you should feel sorry for, because I, and many others didn’t. I think he’s great character writing wise, but he’s genuinely awful at parenting and just a downright horrible dad.

He didn’t really redeem himself in ATSV, so I hope in Beyond he’ll finally prove that he’s not a straight-up douche.

But for now, FUCK GEORGE STACY! 🗣️🔥

#justice for Gwen 💪#atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderman #gwen stacy #spiderverse #spider gwen #ghost spider

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a-rat-who-writes · 11 months

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Cove's Alphabet SFW

The safe-for-work version of Cove Holden's Alphabet is finally here! Enjoy my lovelies. (Took so much longer to write because it has over double the word count than the NSFW one <3) ALSO! This version is for all genders, so if you find something that is tailored specifically to a woman or male, lmk and I'll correct it :)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Cove loves to hold your hand and do the little thumb thing where he rubs it against the side of your hand. He often holds your hand whenever you two are around each other, no matter the circumstance. You two are walking to a beach? He’ll hold your hand. He’s kissing you? He reaches for your hand. It’s a little intimate act that doesn’t make him embarrassed, and it means a lot to be able to stay within arms reach of you at all times. He also has a thing for placing his lips somewhere where you did or eating a portion of food where you also ate part of it. For example, if you two are out on a little date night and you both get different desserts, he will ask to try whatever dessert you’re eating only because he likes the idea of indirectly kissing like this. If you offer him any food, he will almost always put his mouth not directly, but on half of the area you already bit out of rather than on the opposite side of the food, like a sandwich.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) You two met when you both were very young, obviously, and you two bonded more over how Cove didn’t know how to deal with his trauma with his family's divorce and moving to a new place. If we are sticking with this idea, he grew fond of you very quickly because you were the first person he met in Sunset Bird, and you always tried your best to include him in different activities or to spend one-on-one time with him to learn about his interests; he naturally also began doing that with you too! If we are wanting to be a bit annoying and say you two really became friends in step 2 or 3, he already knew you since he often saw you when he went to the beach and because you lived right across the street. He made small gestures like offering you a drink (A Caprisun or something) and you would accept it. Or.. he would ask you something about school since you two went to the same one, like: "MC, um… do you happen to know how to solve for x?" or "I’m stuck on my fourth quote. Can you help me find something to use? I looked so many times, but nothing fits with my topic sentence." Of course, you would always help him because you either had no clue yourself or because you were better at the subject he asked about, which allowed you two to bond more often. When helping him with something, he always got sidetracked by pointing something out about your room or telling you something that went on in his day and wanting your opinion about it. Regardless of when you both became friends, he always had little inside jokes with you, and you both often wore them out too quickly, or he would always tell you random facts he learned about the sea, like: "Did you know jellyfish are just floating blobs and they don’t think?" or: "The male seahorse actually gives birth instead of the female one, so do you think that means they still have the same lower regions like humans or do you think it’s swapped?" Regardless, there is always something stewing in Cove’s mind that he is more than happy to ask you about.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Cove is an absolute sucker for cuddling—just not in his bed. You two have cuddled on multiple occasions when you were both friends, such as when the two of you watched a movie together, he often sat next to you, and somehow you both ended up falling asleep, his head resting on yours. If the two of you are dating, he often gets too flustered to sleep next to you in his bed because he can get very flustered when being absolutely alone with you and in such intimate proximity. He often lets you cuddle him when the two of you are just relaxing at his house on a couch, or if he is exhausted from his work shift, he will make a beeline for your house after work and rest his head on your lap while mindlessly telling you about the random shenanigans of his work day. (Bonus points if you put Cove’s front hair into a ponytail or if you just thread your fingers through his hair, which often makes him blush due to how good it feels.)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) At some point, he wouldn’t be against moving in regardless of you two being friends, dating, or engaged. He won’t ever tell you he is a bit of a messy person, and you will find out the exact day you move in that he is a little bit of a slob. He doesn’t leave random dishes around, but he has random shirts strewn across his room, and sometimes he’ll leave dishes unwashed for days, but he eventually gets to doing it. He also barely uses his closet. He often just picks out shirts and pants from the basket he threw them in after washing his clothes, rather than putting them away like a civil human being. (You’ll just have to deal with the sand problem because somehow, regardless of whether he was going swimming that day, he tracks sand into the main entryway.) He also cannot cook for shit, but he can prepare miscellaneous foods that his mom taught him to cook, like chicken or tacos. His cooking abilities are very limited, but if there is a food you really enjoy, he will take the time while you are out to figure out how to cook it and eventually master it and cook it for you one night to impress you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Cove would always try to fix any problems between you two, but if things just became too much to bear, i.e: you constantly cheating on him or you doing something he’s told you make him uncomfortable too many times, he will find a way regardless of what you did to be nice until the end. He would sit you down wherever you live and have a genuine calm conversation with you, and when it gets to the point where he has to say the five words (We need to break up), he begins to tear up himself. During the whole conversation, he will hold your hand to try and comfort you, but really, it’s him coming to terms that it will be the last time he will be doing something like that with you or whoever he is breaking up with. After the conversation is done, which probably takes an hour and a half because he often beats around the bush, he will leave and beat himself up for the next couple of days before he gets over it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Cove would definitely love to make you his wife/partner/husband at some point after you two are somewhat stable. Depending on when you propose to him or he proposes to you (If step 3), he prefers to stay engaged to you for a couple years before marrying you, then wait a little while longer before having kids. If you have issues or you just prefer not to be married, Cove totally understands, and he is willing to treat you like his forever partner, even if you both aren’t engaged. Ideally, Cove would like to marry you on the spot because you have such a chokehold on him, but, realistically, you two get married when you canonically would, so around 24. Regardless of when you get engaged, he will wait a couple years or whenever you are ready to settle down.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) More often than not, Cove is a gentle person over a rough one. Especially when the two of you are getting intimate, he will always stay really gentle—more so the first couple of times—but he will treat you with respect. Physically, he always tries to gently hold your hand or caress your cheek gently before you two kiss to make things not only more sensual but also more comfortable. Emotionally, he will often not directly address an issue between you two but instead hint at it, trying his best to not hurt your feelings, even if he is the one annoyed by whatever.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Cove loves hugs. He isn’t an overhugger, but he won’t ever turn you down if you ask for one. Especially if he is sad about something, he will cling to you like a sloth to a tree, crying into your shoulder, because we all know he is a bit of a crybaby. (In the best way possible, of course.) He often goes under rather than over, so he can hold your waist and put his face down on your shoulder. If you are sad and need a hug, he will always tightly hold you (especially if you have sensory issues) and keep you pressed against him while gently rubbing circles with his palm into your back. If you two are being intimate, the first thing he will do after you two finish is hug you tightly, even if it was a quickie and you needed to leave ASAP.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) He didn’t want to spring the three words on you too quickly in case you weren’t comfortable with admitting that to him yourself, so he waited, but also because he was a little nervous himself to admit he had such strong feelings for you. After 1 to 3 months, he will accidentally let it slip once. The very first time he said it to you was when you two were having a mini movie night at his house and the two of you were cuddled up on one of the main floor's couches, sharing a fleece blanket. At some point during the movie, you two end up kissing, and after he pulls away he rubs your cheek with his thumb gently and looks into your eyes before whispering under his breath: "God, I love you so much…". Your eyes almost popped out of your head when he said that, and when the words processed in his head, his hand that caressed your cheek instantly went to his mouth. You look a bit anxious yourself, reassuring him that it was adorable (Bonus points if this is when you also tell him you love him for the first time). You put your hands on either side of his head, sitting on your knees now, and you tell him how you are so glad he told you, and it means so much to you that he was finally able to say it. This makes you wonder, though: how many times before did he think about saying I love you in his head but never verbally?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Cove is pretty good when it comes to jealousy, so he won’t ever get nervous when you have any guy or girl friends (Depending on your gender and your sexuality). He believes in loyalty and faith, so he puts his full trust in you, but when someone flirts with you and you play into it a little, whether you’re aware of it yourself or not, he will shift over to you and put a hand on your waist, or he will pull a: "How’re you feeling [insert pet name you enjoy], good, I hope?" and he gives you a kiss on the forehead. This is usually enough to shut whatever down, but if it isn't, he will begin glaring at whoever is flirting with you, and he will insert himself into whatever conversation, acting a bit passive-aggressive because whoever wasn’t taking the hint.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Usually, Cove gets nervous with PDA, so the kisses you share are often short and sweet, such as quick pecks on the lips or a few seconds, but he makes up for it by following up with a kiss on your cheek. When the two of you are alone, the kisses are usually more lengthy, and he likes giving you quiet praise after you two finish (exactly how he accidentally let ‘I love you’ slip because it was natural). He likes to be kissed anywhere, honestly. On his head, hand, arms, chest, stomach, and, if you’re feeling a bit risque, on his inner thighs. Every kiss you give him, he cherishes, regardless of the placement. He often likes to kiss your cheeks, forehead, and the back of your palm. If he is feeling a bit risque, then he likes to give you kisses on your ankles (Bonus points if you are wearing an anklet).

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) You’d think he would get flustered around kids, but he is surprisingly good with them because Derek would sometimes bring Nico and Jorge over to Cove’s place, or Cove would go over to help watch them. Derek showed Cove the different tactics Nico often pulled to get his way, and he made sure to tell Cove all the important details about children, such as how to entertain them and what things to keep away from them. Cove can often handle children, even when they do gross things such as pick their noses or poop in their diapers, which he often takes care of himself, and if you two choose to have a child, he will be the primary one to take care of that. If you two have children or adopt, he is definitely the type to cry when you point out how old they're getting, even if they are 2.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Cove will often wake up a bit late, such as 10–11 am if he isn’t needed to go out anywhere, and he likes cuddling with you even while you both are awake in bed. He could spend a whole day just not getting out of bed and shifting positions with you in bed because he enjoys your warmth. If you are more of an early bird, he will often tighten his arms around your waist and keep you close to him, nuzzling his nose into the crease of your neck until you shake him off. If you two don’t spend the night together, you often go over to his house and wake him up by tugging at his hair, to which he will grab your hand and pull you closer to him if the two of you are dating. He won’t realize what he did at first, but when he does, he will get flustered and turn over, apologizing. He is slow to get out of bed and to brush his teeth, so his hair often goes unbrushed until after breakfast, unless you decide to brush it for him (Bonus points if you give him head kisses while you brush his hair).

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) If you two are dating, he won’t bring up sleeping next to each other but instead ‘cuddle before you go home’. You don’t tell him, but you love it when he is so nervous about this because if he had just asked you directly, it wasn’t as if you’d turn him down anyway. He tries to stay up as late as you do, so if you go to sleep early, he will often watch a show or something while playing with your hair and giving you the occasional head kiss. He also loves nuzzling your nose when you’re sleepy, don’t ask him why, he just does. If you often stay up late, then he will try his best to stay by your side, whether he falls asleep in your bed or is sitting down beside your desk on the floor and falls asleep with his head against the seat of your chair. You will wake him up when you’re done, and he groggily gets up, clinging to you until you get in bed. Even if you need to change into pajamas, he will often just lend you his shirt, regardless of whether he has a spare, so you can lay down quicker with him. Or, if you need to brush your teeth, he will have his hands across your stomach and his head on top of yours / on your shoulder until you're done, and then he gets a little giddy when you tell him you’re done, laying down with him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) You two were friends before you both began dating, so you already knew a lot about him. If you ask him anything, he doesn’t mind telling you (especially if you ask him when you’re making/getting him a gift, he’ll pretend he has no idea why you’re asking him the question just to see your happy face when you give it to him). He isn’t a closed-off person; instead, he is more of an open book, but he is a bit nervous to tell you about what he likes intimately (Canon), but he will tell you in a quiet voice. Don’t ask him to repeat what he likes in intimate scenarios after he tells you once or twice in the same conversation because he will get too flustered and shut down. It’s a bit of a turn-on for him when you know all the little things about him, so he often mentions if he likes something mid-conversation if you two are on the topic about it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) He is a pretty patient guy. Obviously, if you don’t understand something he doesn’t mind re-explaining it to you, and he actually finds it funny if you need something repeated more than twice. He is also patient when you get ready for dates if you’re the type to take over an hour to get ready. He enjoys sitting in the bathroom with you and watching you put on makeup (If you put it on) or style your hair / put it up. (If you do.) If you two are meeting up for a date, then he will wait all day for you, but how could you ever leave him waiting?

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) For Cove, it’s a mix of it all. There are weirdly specific things he memorizes about you, like if you don’t like a specific condiment or if you put your hair behind your ear / tie it up when you are looking down at something, but he can’t remember your favorite color some days. If you bring up a music artist you often listen to, he will silently remind himself to keep it in mind, and he will write it down on his phone’s notes app so he doesn’t forget. He won’t tell you, but it got to the point where his notes app had too long of a list, so he switched over to Google Docs, and he has over 3 pages worth of information about what you like/dislike and why. Things he specifically memorizes are physical stuff about you, like your favorite jewelry or how you like to dress. When the two of you go out and spend a day together or go on a date, he, for some reason, counts the number of different pieces of jewelry you wear (if you do), as if you’ll ask him at the end of the night.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Every day with you is something special to Cove, so it would be hard for Cove to choose a specific moment, but back when you two were younger (Step 2) and you two went on that road trip, he’s really fond of the entire trip because he not only enjoyed the get-together and mix of your families, but he also likes that you specifically wear anklets for him now on because that was when you first found out he liked them. Despite him hitting his head on the top of the RV, he finds it funny now, and he can make fun of his little self for how flustered he was. (Bonus points if you tell him he isn’t any different currently.) (Bonus bonus points if you do something that makes him extremely flustered to prove your point.)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Typically, Cove would prefer to handle things with words rather than physically needing to deal with someone, so if someone were to badger you or annoy you, he would put his arm in front of you and be straightforward with a stern voice. Cove believes you can handle yourself for the most part, but he will always step in if you give him a glance or if you seem overwhelmed by someone. Typically, when Cove talks about something important, he beats around the bush a bit, but he won’t ever stand for someone disrespecting you. He will make sure you feel safe, and after everything is dealt with, he'll give you many kisses.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Cove is definitely dedicated to any and all relationships he was/is in, so no matter what, he will remember your birthday, the time you two had your first date, and your anniversary, making sure to give you something or take you somewhere on that day. Just as it is important to you, it’s important to Cove to celebrate the days you both start a new beginning with each other, even if it’s a small step like when you two first kissed. (A little HC is that on your birthday he had a small gift he gave to you when the two of you were alone, and it was an anklet in your favorite color.) If there is something you typically need as an everyday thing, such as a hug, compliment, kiss, or even simple good morning/goodnight texts, Cove will make sure to pick up on those habits and do them as much as possible.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Canonically, Cove often wipes his hands on his shorts, so multiple of his shorts have tiny stains on them. Staying on the food topic, Cove definitely is also a bit of a messy eater, leaving crumbs around his lips and on his shorts/pants after a meal. (Bonus points if you wipe it off for him.) (Bonus, BONUS points if you wipe a condiment off the side of his mouth and then lick it off your finger.) Cove also gives off naive vibes, so if you lie about something such as, "Cove, did you know that if you sneeze with your eyes open, they’ll pop out of your head?" Cove at first didn’t believe you, but the more he thought about it, the more he freaked out about it, and he now makes sure to always close his eyes.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) For the most part, Cove is pretty laid-back about his appearance, but he always makes sure he is wearing matching clothes. Somehow he never wears matching socks, but that’s beside the point. Something that he is a bit more strict about is his hair, though. He can spend roughly 10 minutes just trying to make his hair sweep around his cheeks properly because the night before he slept on it funny. He groans when it doesn’t look normal in the mirror after the first initial brushes, and then he increasingly feels the need to make it perfect before his dad or you usher him out of the bathroom.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Nope. Plain and simple, if he ever lost (as in died), he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever moved on from you, and he would spend the rest of his life indulging in the things you liked and weren’t able to do yet. On a less intense note, though, he doesn’t like to go more than a week without speaking to you, especially when he goes to visit his mom. As you are his childhood best friend, you are probably—no, definitely—the most important thing in his life, regardless of whether the two of you end up dating. He often spends a lot of his time just thinking about you, if not hanging out with or talking to you. He has a life outside of you with other friends and his parents, but a lot of his life is surrounded by you, and he wouldn’t have it any other way because you’ve made such an impact on him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Cove is the type to overload you with different memes and tiktoks. Even if the two of you are sitting next to each other, he will either text you a tiktok or send it to your account and watch your reaction. At the end of the day, if you don’t avidly keep up with his messages, you’ll end up with around 30 messages—if not more from Cove just consisting of tiktoks that are the ones that say ‘Us’ and then a picture, or a tiktok of a random fact if you are a girl, and ask "IS THIS TRUE???" and then send a tiktok of a girl peeling her skin off, explaining that she needs to shed her old skin on her period.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Canonically, Cove dislikes people who often push back plans or don’t follow through with them, such as pushing a date back multiple times because you wanted to hang out with your friends. He also dislikes people who won’t accept help and who are adamant about not accepting any sort of gift from him. He is the type to spoil his partner, and if you won’t accept any of his gifts, that will often put him down and make him uneasy. Something else that would irk Cove, since he is a bit of a messy person, is if his partner was someone super strict about cleaning or organization and pushed their rules onto him, he would be reluctant to date you, knowing his habits would make you frustrated and him too.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Cove love, love, loves to cuddle when he finally gets comfortable sleeping in the same bed/area with you. He ideally likes to cuddle where the two of you are facing each other or where one of you has your head in the other's chest while holding each other. If he is having a rough day, he definitely sleeps on his stomach and tends to shift positions a lot at night. He also has a habit of quietly snoring if you two do a lot in the day or after the two of you were intimate. Don’t ask me why, but Cove definitely is a blanket hog, but after you wake him up to have him give you some of the blankets, he will sleepily and excessively apologize.

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love-kurdt · 19 days

Text

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 36

word count: 688

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

September 29, 1990

Dear Will,

This past month and a half has been nothing but absolute chaos. First off, I finally had my official gay bar initiation! I was invited back in August by my friend Alexis and some of our other friends from our Gender Studies elective course, which was good, because at least I’d be around people I knew. They ordered me this neon blue cocktail I can’t remember the name of, probably because I chugged it so fast (just kidding, I think it was called a Blue Lagoon), and I was instantly picked up by the Prettiest of Pretty Boys™. He introduced himself as Wes Butler, and we had sex in the storage closet of the bar. It was actually my first time “topping” (I put topping in quotations because you can’t really top if you’re both standing). But it was cramped, it was hot in a bad way, it was messy, and it ended quicker than it began. It was not a good time. Moral of the story: I don’t do closets. I spent my whole life in one, and lost you in the process.

If you thought that experience was weird, let me tell you about this nerd rave I went to last Friday. Some acquaintance from one of my lit courses told me about it after class, saying it was at a beat up old house on the edge of campus, at five o’clock. When I showed up, it was like I’d entered the drama club room at Hawkins High. Dim lighting, red ambiance, and about a dozen different fantasy and sci-fi related activities happening throughout the house. I was so overwhelmed, and I had no idea where the hell to begin. Despite my love for writing fantasy, I’ve tried not to interact with anything remotely nerdy at the risk of it reminding me of you and sending me into a downward mental spiral. I’m scared that one day, if the spiral is spiraly enough, I won’t be able to come back from it. But anyway, this guy came up to me and said “Is it me or do you not have a clue what’s going on, either?” I turned to face him, and my eyes nearly fell out of my fucking skull, because I was either hallucinating, or Eddie Munson had come back from the dead. We immediately sparked a conversation about how we were just normal dudes who like literature and D&D, and felt incredibly out of place amongst all the cosplayers, almost like it was a convention. I don’t know how exactly we got from Point A to Point Z, but within half an hour of meeting Walker Brooks, he was fucking me into his Lord of the Rings bedsheets. Out of nowhere, he started talking to me in Elvish– I actually looked up and translated the phrase he used most frequently, “N- a man boui an ada.” It means, “Be a good boy for Daddy.” Yeah… yikes. I won't be seeing him again.

It’s no wonder why I keep going back to Wyatt. When we hook up, it’s like he erases all the other bad experiences. He’s so gentle with me, which is honestly what I crave the most. I just want affection. I just want love, while most of the other guys I’ve been with only want to get their dicks wet. But Wyatt is different– he cares about me. He’s my friend, above all else. And because he’s my friend, he offers to listen whenever I need to talk, no matter what. I think he knows my entire life story up until this point. Which means he knows about you and everything that happened last year. Don’t worry, he doesn’t hate you. He just… isn’t your biggest fan. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of you, though, because you’ll never have any reason to cross paths with each other. If, by some miracle, a reason does emerge, I won’t hesitate to introduce you two.

But it’s just pathetic for me to hope at all at this point. So I won’t. Hope, I mean.

Love,

Mike

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#byler #byler fanfic #byler fic #byler tumblr #mike wheeler #will byers #will x mike #mike x will #stranger things #stranger things fic

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gxilds · 2 years

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the borderlands

for dummies

I guess

now that we have reached the conclusion of the original manga series in the show, a lot of my friends seemed to be confused about the ending or what exactly the borderlands is. And while I haven’t finished the show (wether I am or not is debatable, granted i’m just dramatic and will get over my qualms with it fairly quickly) I have read the manga which gives you more clues as to how you should interpret it.

the mass majority of this post will be the last few chapters of the manga which stay relatively true to what the show has in it (other that some stuff that is not relevant to this post) so take that how you will.

this post will be divided into a few parts

what created the borderlands

what we can interpret the borderlands is

how it affected the players

in the last chapter we are met with this group of panels at the start

We are informed of a meteorite attack that happened two years prior to the events of this final chapter. we can grab two things from this:

this meteorite attack is relevant to the story

the story probably spans over two years

Using that first and second point, we can assume that it is not just relevant but that it is probably what the fireworks were in the beginning of the series was.

and in chapter 63 they also use fireworks for parallel as to them finishing all of them games and show is a meteorite hitting what we can assume to be shibuya

so a meteorite hit them? cool, I guess… what can we do with this information?

I’m so glad I asked, narrator me!

this leads me to the second question

how can we interpret this?

I guess… it’s more simple now that I put it into words.

Essentially,

it’s a collective state of limbo.

I guess?

It’s a point between life and death where it seems the borderlands are used to create judgment as to if the characters should really die or not.

in order to prove this we have to mix the third point into this

how has it affected the players?

in the end we find the players in the hospital with no memories of what happened in the borderlands but clearly affected

(For some reason I can’t find any panels online for this but I do still have the one of chishiya stocked up because I’m so not normal about him)

for example, Chishiya is affected emotionally and is left feeling better after his clear change of heart in the end of the series.

Niragi lays next to him burnt to a crisp and as far as we know chishiya seems to be hurt as well from the damage caused by niragi. so they’re all obviously somewhat affected by what happens inside when they leave.

Everyone else wakes up from their 2 year (supposedly) coma and is left without memory of the borderland but totally cool with each other. Arisu and Usagi ask each other out (my parents fr fr, thank you AIB Retry), Kuina is being my pookie and they’re all having fun… other than those who aren’t there.

People who died in the borderlands seem to have not made it (Karube, chota, etc), which puts the limbo theory into prospective.

as for the collective part of it… I thought that was obvious

all the meteorite victims are in the borderlands with each other and interact in ways that leave impressions on each other

duh

Look, I know the way I word this makes the writers sound dumb but I actually think it’s creative and kind of refreshing. I half expected to have them turn this shit into as the gods will when I first read the manga…and then I would’ve been left disappointed. and while there is a sequel series to cover I’m glad there’s a happy (albeit, tentative and not long lasted) ending.

I don’t think they’re going to do the sequel manga in the show, sadly. I also feel like it goes without saying that if they continue the show without using the source material other than to give us tooth rotting chishiya fluff and him living his best life after the borderlands then I’m not tuning in 😮‍💨 sorry to whatever this joker bullshit is that i’m hearing about but… lawd 😭😭

🏷️: @clearskiesandmistyeyes @irehluvr

#alice in borderland #aib #borderlands for dummies

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brightnote · 11 months

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This is my very last Secret Invasion theory post (spoilers eps 1-5) and I am proudly on team bananas. This one is for Maria ❤️ long live her chin length bob and boots

It’s 50/50 people and I have decided I am on team don’t give up (and have your heart broken into a million pieces again tomorrow but I don’t care I have faith!!) I decided I can’t go out on a downer, i have loved getting all the messages, comments, and reblogs from all of you! Today is the last day to do this and this one is just for Maria, here’s why I am on Team Bananas 100% with all my heart, and I believe Maria is alive and she’s coming back to us tomorrow!

the set up to do the reveal is almost too good

finally after my weeks of ranting about how dumb everything went down with Fury, Talos, Gravik and Maria other breakdown videos are starting to see it too. Even Screencrush a pretty popular video breakdown site thinks Hill might be making a reprise. I mean these videos much like my crazy full on banana theories are often wrong but I feel more sane now that other people are coming to see this twist too! IMO it’s actually perfect set up for a Maria reveal now, and not doing it or throwing away the opportunity would be so very sad. But I guess it would be fitting a wasted character lost in a wasted opportunity.

I am not going to write this all out again but see this post… there is just no way that Maria’s death went down the way they want us to believe it went down.

if Marvel wanted Secret Invasion to have real stakes then why did they tell everyone Fury was going to be in The Marvels since the beginning? Nothing lowers the stakes more than knowing the protagonist is going to be fine? Killing his friends doesn’t really raise them either to try and solve that problem it it just comes off as lazy to me.. also one million on skrulls on earth and gravik’s plan to kill all humans should be enough stakes in itself.... i mean half the planet disappeared and that was enough for the entire infinity war saga

The only thing that’s hard to get around is the actual death

But this has never stopped marvel before.

If anyone was going to be able to fake a real looking death it would be Maria and Nick, they’ve done it before.

Would Nick really put Maria’s mom through that misery? Well Nick didn’t! Rhodey did and he’s not in on the plan! Nick wasn’t making funeral plans, he was on at the train to Warsaw and then evading the Russians. This could also explain Fury’s aloofness at the body transfer in front of Maria’s mom

don’t forget what did Maria’s mom say to Fury? “You’re Nick Fury she would follow you to hell and back!” And back.

Her mom also said something I find interesting in the rewatch “he won’t even tell me where on planet earth my daughter died!"

Also remember those final words of Maria’s not like “why? Or how?” It was “it was you” and Fury said “not me” he wasn’t even comforting like “it’s going to be ok” or like any of the things you say to your dying bestie?… I know it’s important that if it is real Maria that she didn’t die thinking Fury shot her but those last words of “no I didn’t do it!!” Are pretty wild. I think the language here is a clue like not me is a hint that it’s not her! I think it’s a clue in favor of team bananas and that is the team where I find myself today— I only get one more day of this, so I am gonna live in it.

bringing Maria back just to kill her off is definitely suspicious.

In one show Fury loses, his work bestie, then his real life bestie, and then his wife/marriage? Mmm I don’t know about that. He’s getting one back I would have thought it was Varra but I think Varra’s loyalty betrayal is the ultimate death of the marriage, Fury is all about loyalty and no one has had a better more loyal relationship to him than Maria so that’s why she should be the one who comes back!

Talos had a death that actually meant something, he showed the world that Skrulls were good which is what he wanted. It was brutally sad for G’iah and us but it actually did serve some purpose.

Maria’s death has served no purpose for this show so far. It did not fix a broken Fury, it did not create the avenge her arc that it seemed like it was going to and even Rhodey blackmailing Fury with the video of her death hasn’t affected the plot very much, it came out much too late in the series.

Fury is still able to get in contact with people to help him and someone is helping him from somewhere and he’s doing just fine getting around. So why would it be important to kill off Hill?

It’s a way better ploy to make people believe you are falling into your old cliches and traps and then surprise them!

For 11 years we have been lead to believe Nick and Maria are very smart people, they are smarter than Gravik.

Just rewatch the first episode, look at the bonehead plan that gets Maria killed. It is not a plan of smart people. These are smart people. They are hanging out in bars in Russia where they are not supposed to be, talking about sensitive stuff when they know Gravik is out there scheming? A man in an existential crisis about dying sends his team out to a bombing with three bombs with no back up and no physical body protection and just those three people? Maria’s infrared glasses just disappear pre bombing?

also don’t forget on the phone Fury said right to Gravik “you’re always one step ahead of me Gravik” like a joke!

Also that cut on Maria’s face? That’s there so you don’t suspect a reveal to show you it was the same person from the tunnel with G’iah, at the bar, and then at the bombing. Why would marvel go this far out the way to make you think it won’t be a Maria reveal unless it is?

Weren’t you freaking furious in Far From Home when Nick was acting so dumb and fooled by Mysterio or whatever Jake’s dumb name was. Weren’t you like DIDN’T MARIA HILL WORK AT STARK AROUND THIS TIME? WHY ISN’T THIS MAKING SENSE? Surprise, it wasn’t Fury and Maria, they wouldn’t be fooled by this!! The same team who pulled off the scheme in the Winter Solider did not fall for this—and they didn’t--and they didn’t now!!

dont’ forget Sonya specifically brought up the events of Far From Home so we know this relevant!

Bringing up the full body widow’s veil is not a throw away detail

We didn’t see a body in that casket for a reason

We saw a whole freaking funeral and body burning for Talos!!

Maybe LMDs do exist in the MCU and maybe they are also very very advanced. IDK if you can change your body and face with a widows veil seems like they’d have some other tricky tech and while I wasn’t on the LMD train before I think if Maria thinks she’s so invincible she can just grab a dirty bomb with her bare hands she has to definitely be ok with just dying cause what would stop her from being blown up immediately? There are very few minutes between Maria grabbing that bag and that bomb going off.

Putting Maria’s death on full blast every episode is not just for Cobie’s screen time or to guilt trip Fury and making it public means there has to be a way for Fury to clear his name and I think it has to be more than a “shape shifting alien did this” with no proof of it

I think this is a trick for the audience to be like oh yeah she’s really dead, she’s dead no hope there. Look at that miserable awful cruel death that no one deserved but somehow this person got for no reason. My only issue with this is that if there are LMDs in this universe they would have been introduced before the finale. (Wait there aren’t supposed to be counter points in here!)

Rhodey saying “he used all his political capital to get Maria Hill’s body back from the Russians” probably meant as a guilt trip to Fury but also a signal to the audience

There is something fishy about it and I am so hopeful there are Maria / Rhodey scenes coming to us tomorrow!

Killing off a character who has been in the movie franchise for 11 years in a tv show?

No! That is poor continuity etiquette! If you are introduced in a film franchise the character should also die in the film franchise, ESPECIALLY if your character has been around for over a decade.

Maybe Marvel asked Cobie to do all those interviews so people would be even more surprised by the twist. I think that’s whack but I have no other explanations for why that happened but I don’t think it’s any crazier than doing the interviews before the series was over!

Yeah I know it’s a stretch, I know this one kills the whole theory. It breaks my heart but I just don’t know. Maria Hill would have been the perfect person to take over for Fury when he retires and Cobie is a lot cheaper than Sam and to kill her off this way right before some legit projects that involve Maria a lot in the comics? That’s such a waste. She’s got a light IMDB of future projects, she has time!! LOL this one. I don’t have answers for. The director of Secret Invasion said she played a big role and so far uh her biggest contribution was picking Fury up from his space ride.

But is she actually cheaper than Sam? Sam got paid 3.3 mil per episode for a total of 20 million dollars, so far Cobie got 4 mil for one episode! and she was only in about 15-20 minutes of the episode!

I did have a major laugh in one Cobie interview where someone told her they were so devastated by Maria’s death and Cobie responded with “I’m sorry, I don’t write these stories.” Why is this so funny to me?

The tag line is “who do you trust” and the whole vibe is that that you don’t know who any one is, so far we know who everyone is…

Maria and Nick’s entire relationship for 11 years has been about trust, who does he trust, he trusts Maria! Gasp it’s right there in the tagline!!

there hasn’t been a single surprise except for an imposter skrull Ross which was very quick and never explained or looked into. Someone has to be a reveal! Someone is not who we expect so who is it!! Watch it be something dumb like the president is also a skrull.

On team don’t waste your time / don’t get your hopes up: see my earlier post on all the reasons why Maria is dead for real and there’s not going to be a big twist reveal (about her) and also there’s some more stuff about her amazing gay hair cut that we have only seen once so far.

grave disappointment or total satisfaction awaits us!

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opuestocomplementario · 1 year

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You know? My thought process and my vocabulary increase a lot once I see people talking shit about my favorite things because it gives the motivation to do breakdown on those things and to prove they are better than they might seem so here it goes.

What Wonyoung did was so wrong on so many levels and it was getting potentially worse because he kept pushing his confession. HOWEVER, I think it's worse because of Tae Joon. If Taejoon hadn't had his heart and trust broken once, this situation wouldn’t look that bad. But it did, but Wonyoung didn’t know. I also feel like Wonyoung is easily manipulated by his boss and he is not truly happy working in Seoul, or even doing the whole spying thing. Also, maybe I got lost in translation, but why is his company asking for something like that? If they knew where Tae Joon was in the first place, why not send someone? And Tae Joon is used to it so …? I don’t know. Many questions, not important. I just want to see gay people happy and doing crafts.

Anyways, I actually really like Taejoon and him being super mean and distant to his ex. Like, Taejoon shouldn’t act like everything is normal between them and I love the fact that he didn’t forgive him or even forget it happened. Usually, dramas and books take the trust thing very lightly and forgiveness is something very valuable. I really like that by showing how much it takes to earn trust, it is not an easy ride to gain back, and sometimes you are never going to get it back. I really like that conflict. It has substance. It makes you wonder what Wonyoung is going to do to make Tae Joon forgive him. And the fact Taejoon hasn’t forgiven the other one tells you a lot about it. But also, because they are both very different relationships and different people, I think it is easy to see how Wonyoung can earn and have Taejoon's trust back. Like, even if the drama makes it seem like it was easy, you can clearly tell it has layers of character built and strength in the relationship.

Another thing I see people shitting about is the time they spend together. I am so sorry school hasn’t focused on picking tacit clues and comprehensive skills, truly. I will be here sitting and watching this relationship literally unfold in front of my eyes, and having scenes and words explicitly said that between Taejoon and Wonyoung it has been some time AND STILL READ PEOPLE SAYING THEY ARE MOVING TOO FAST. Babe, this drama is being easily told in at least half a year. Also, people can pretend the relationship had happened at any other moment because they are not explicit in the time except for the whole new year thing. But chill, anyway.

Last comment. To be fair, the second relationship isn’t that big of a deal to me like the other one is. Like, I can see how their whole drama is going to go if they have more screen time which I don’t think they need. Both Donghee and Hotae are, now, aware of the whole situation between them and I think they both knew about it. I think it is not very complex in terms of how it is going to go, Donghee is very clear in his position and Hotae is just really dumb and doesn’t realize how big of a deal dating is because of his past girlfriends. Also, why bl dramas emphasize so much in having ex-girlfriends instead of ex-boyfriends? Like, if there’s no “coming out” discussion and the focus is not on them being gay, why don't they give them some boys to date? For real, it is like the relationship they show in the drama is the first one of the characters which is not very realistic. Anyways, I hope Hotae finally admits he wants to date Donghee for more than a month. And I am actually excited to see what Donghee is going to say in the end. I will give them that, they are very unpredictable.

Actual last comment. The amount of hugs Wonyoung and Taejoon give to each other is actually insane. I was bawling my eyes out the whole time because how can they be so cute??????????? Every time I was like “again??!¡!?¡!, stop it, my heart can’t take it”. And also, they looked really comfortable in each other's arms, loving that type of physical touch.

#unintentional love story #bl drama #character writing #thoughts and rambling #unintentional love story ep7

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thatdesklamp · 10 months

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Hey gang. I accidentally deleted a lovely, lovely ask from @lemonsbesour when I was in the middle of writing a response to it. I have no idea what I did. I feel old, ffs. But I will post my response to it, with [brief interjections] from me now to explain it all, hopefully:

Hello! Hi—yes, I so rarely use tumblr but figured that I should have one, just for the shits and gigs most of all, lmao. I feel like a grandma: I don’t know how to use it at all. But it’s fun! It’s kind of like chatting to ppl in the comments section, but in a less formal (???) situation.

Firstly, thank you so much for such a lovely message. You are so kind, omg. It’s difficult, sometimes, to actually take in praise about your own work—I look up to other authors so so much, and feel like a fangirl so much, that it’s so foreign for me to accept that kind of admiration from someone else. It’s especially cool of you to mention the feeling-feelings thing, though, [I was told I was good at writing feelings; my writing was emotive] since that’s something I properly feel I’m not great at sometimes!! The amount of times I have to remind myself to ‘show not tell’, or feel like I’m doing too much ‘telling’… genuinely, when I edit my chapters, half of it is just reworking or straight deleting paragraphs and paragraphs of Hebi-being-emo-soliloquies. If you think there are a lot of them now, in the stuff I’ve actually posted, just trust me: you should see my first drafts.

I am fist-pumping reading that I got you to finish ‘One Day’ [self-explanatory]. Writing intrinsic warmth has just been one long con, just to convince people to read more David Nicholls. When I finally finish IW (gah!!!), I plan on leaving a list of book recommendations, those I’ve read that give me the same emotions that ‘One Day’ did; the emotions I’ve tried to capture in IW. It’s my favourite niche genre of fiction, lmao: Books About Intimate Love (Usually Between Just Two People) That Feel Bittersweet And Also Happen To Be About Time And So Also Feel Nostalgic.

I’ve been thinking about your advice question for a while now. [Asked for writing advice; how to write emotively/depict emotions accurately] Truthfully, I have no bloody clue—in my head, I’m just like, eh, that kinda feels good. What suits the vibe? That suits the vibe. No, no, that *doesn’t* suit the vibe. And etcetera.

There’s a few bog-standard, general tips that I always subscribe to, that I’ve picked up along my way and would be happy to explain in greater detail if that’s wanted; always use ‘says/said’ unless you really have to use something else; never use adjectives instead of someone’s name (e.g. “the brunette looked away” vs. “Susan looked away”); avoid clichés like the plague (explained well in the YouTube video, ‘How to Bore Your Audience’ by The Closer Look); use the Emotion Thesaurus for everything. All the time. It is the writer’s Bible.

Honestly, other than those tips (which are more pragmatic than anything), the only thing I can say is to *practise*. Yes, yes, it’s the wankiest thing in the world to say, and yes, it’s been said twenty million times before, but there’s a reason for that! Just write. And then write some more. Which is why yes, you have to start writing!! [was told @/lemonsbesour was thinking of writing because of IW] Please do. Oh my goodness. I didn’t write for years and years and years until Covid time, really, when (no lie) I watched atla for the first time and subsequently wrote about 40k words of a Zuko x reader. Yes, I look back and wince at its quality, but that’s the point!! Writing is the same as any skill, and you only get better at it when you do it again and again and again. But please write. That would be so cool.

Thank you again for such a lovely message. I was truly giggling and kicking my feet and shit, lmao. Huzzah!! <3

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bleachbleachbleach · 11 months

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There was no way I wasn't going to send something in for the fanfic meme :D: 5, 10, and 20

Fic Writing Meme

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Someone asked us about Bleach ships, and in my half of the ask response (as yet unposted) one of the things I pitched was Soi Fon/Hitsugaya, PURELY because I am obsessed with the fact that at the end of the Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc, everyone shows up at the Kouga Lake, no one has a single clue what’s going on and no one has ever had a single clue what’s been going on the entire arc, but Hitsugaya gives Soi Fon an order and Soi Fon rolls with this entirely without objection. And I’m just like, gurlll 😂 he doesn’t know what’s going on either. You’re just going to take orders from him????

I’m not saying that taking direction wasn’t the strategic, mature thing to do. I just cannot actually believe that the Gotei would default to the strategic, mature option. Not even Soi Fon, who takes direction better than most. So it makes me wonder what Soi Fon and Hitsugaya’s relationship EVEN IS.

But I’m probably never going to write that, because I would need to have SO much free time before I spent any of it on Soi Fon/Hitsugaya. XD

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I was pleasantly surprised by how many people read Truth, which was supposed to be about Itegumo, a sword most people do not remember exists because we know almost nothing about it; and after one day of writing it consisted of 1000 words of Isane and Renji doing laundry; and involved kind of a lot of Iemura headcanons.

I tried to think of an example of a "different response" that wasn’t about magnitude, but I really never have any idea what people are or aren’t going to respond to! I really like it when more than one person ends up reading and commenting, though, because it makes it so clear that each person’s reading experience is incredibly individual in terms of the things that stand out to them or even what their takeaways are. It means the world to me to be able to see POVs other than just my own.

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

This isn’t for Bleach, but the first one that came to mind is "Set and Match," which was a tag for an episode titled "Game Night." I thought it was clever! But the reason it continues to stand out to me is because someone else also said they liked it. This was probably like five years ago at this point, but I cling to that.

For Bleach, my favorite is my WIP’s title, which is "Stories for the Sea." They’re not stories *about* or *about* the sea, which aren’t true of the fic (they don’t even see the ocean until Chapter 12). They are *for* the Sea, which is a preposition that I feel like is ever so slightly unexpected. This title might be an improvement on the very first title, which was "Untitled Gotei 13 GOES CAMPING!"

Honorable mention to REVERSE THE BONE, which is not a title I’d expect anyone to say was a good title, but it’s a play off East Rukongai District 76, Sakahone ("reverse bone"), there’s a "the" and it’s in all caps in an attempt to capture the flavor of a Bleach chapter title, where it’s not… usually not how English works, but is defamiliarizing in a way that appeals to me.

#thank you for playing! <3333 #no brain just bleach #asks

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

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And then there’s the meeting. And the fun in this is trying to figure out if they know that Tallulah’s infected or not. Also, I respect the decision to have half the people be absent via excuses, because that’s still a lot of characters to manage. Also, it’s so obvious all these people are parents because there’s constantly people trying to check in if Tallulah is okay, too.

[“Wilbur’s a good person,” Quackity finally said, his voice ringing through the room. “I think we can trust him.”] This is probably based on the Wilbur he knew before + the clear care he can see for Tallulah. Aside from that Quackity only says this once he catches Wilbur’s eye and probably sees how cared he is. And again, it’s giving past lovers vibes all over the place even though Wilbur got out before any of that happened. And Phil’s having a blast with it.

Still, some of the other’s a hesitant, because that sentiment doesn’t really make sense. Quackity should be angry at him. Leaving him should mean he can’t be trusted. Quackkty should be fighting this the most, but he’s not. So they want some extra questions. They already know that Tallulah isn’t his (at least, some of them do and it’s obvious he’s too young to be her actual dad even if he looks like he could be).

And I love Wilbur’s dialogue alternating with to flashbacks to show what actually happened and which parts he’s omitting. And Tallulah being abandoned might set of a few more people. Even if the reasons Wilbur gives are plausible, she’s still very much hiding her eyes and hasn’t said a word. All of them have kids with the same infection running around.

So after Baghera asks if they are infected and it becomes a bit more obvious that Tallulah is (or that Phil can’t confirm she isn’t), the mood shifts. It’s clear they have one priority: protect the children. That means their own children, but that’s also very clearly extending to Tallulah. And actually, I don’t think they are onto her being infected. They would trust Wilbur more if they knew. But then again, if Tallulah was a normal kid, they might be more inclined to let her go. Unless they are afraid that Wilbur would abandon or kill her if she became infected.

This escalates very quickly when Wilbur panics about being found out and offers to leave. Bad the offers of trade supplies for Tallulah, which is entirely misreading the situation. I’m sorry, but a man cradling his child that closely is not trading near for the world. I do understand not wanting him to leave, because even if he doesn’t know about their infected children, he could then sent other people their way who would find out and be aggressive. (again, rip Tilin)

(5/6)

-🌲

lol yeah there were so many characters man I wanted to include everyone but I just could not do it

the group doesn't know that tallulah is infected in that convo. some of them, like phil and quackity, are at least somewhat confident she is. the others have no clue because they haven't been around her enough to make a judgement, but they're assuming she's not just for the sake of things bc it's better to assume she's not and be wrong than vice versa.

yeah even though quackity has given wilbur his vote of confidence quackity isn't the most... stable person. he's not always rational and while everyone there cares about him, they also know his judgement has been off since tilin died. plus, quackity hasn't known wilbur for years now. as much as they want to believe what quackity's saying, they don't put a ton of stock into his words.

by the point baghera asks if they're infected and bad offers to trade supplies for wilbur giving tallulah to them, no one knows if she's infected or not. it's a possibility, but again, they're assuming she's not for the sake of the argument. the reason they're so hellbent on taking her in is solely bc they don't want to see a kid get killed out there. it doesn't matter if she's infected or not, she's a child being taken care of by one young guy who clearly doesn't have the best survival skills. the last thing they want is to let the two of them go, and then a few days later find their bodies out in the middle of the forest.

but yeah. of course wilbur wasn't going to go for that. but they can't tell him without knowing bc if they do and he reacts badly, he could tell other people about the camp. so either they let him go without telling him anything, or they tell him and depending on how he reacts, he either gets killed or gets to stay. the group is very worried about the safety of the kids.

#ask #spruce anon #burning gold

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talenlee · 8 months

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Game Pile: Phantom Ink

Let me show you one of my new favourite hidden information party games built around the theme of messing with a ghost. Which is weird in that it’s a genre that’s populated with enough cards that this game went through a period of being known as Ghost Writers before finding that they needed to shift the name to something else.

Alright, since you can’t talk about a Board Game Experience without accounting, to some extent, how a player actually engages with it, how does one play Phantom Ink?

Phantom Ink‘s premise is that there are two teams of people asking a ghost they’ve found to identify a word. Two teams, two ghosts, one word. Each team asks their ghost to answer a clue with a word, and then the ghost starts to spell the word. The team can interrupt the ghost at any time, meaning that if you know the question, you might be willing to stop the ghost while it’s half-way through answering because you think you know the word they might be writing. And why would you want to do that?

Because the other team is right there and they want to guess the word!

The play round is that one team hands their ghost a pair of cards; the ghost picks one of them and discards the other, then starts to write the answer down. When that team thinks they have enough information, based on them knowing the question, they tell the ghost to stop and pass it to the other team. That means that you’re trying to pay attention to the other ghost, their mannerisms, how they answer questions and how the team reacts to letters as they’re revealed, and you’re trying to work out their questions while you’re trying to decipher your answers.

This is a really great game for getting into your own head, because you don’t want to give away information to the other team about what you’re doing or why but also you do need to communicate with your own team and make sure everyone is on the same page, and it’s all done with the level of privacy of, like, being able to whisper in a friend’s ear.

There’s more to it, of course; this is just a simplified description of the otherwise extremely open, extremely public gameplay experience. While it’s a game about hidden information, it’s a game where your options for keeping that information hidden are extremely limited. It’s still got that giggling tension of games in its genre, but in order to give people as much time as possible to make interruptions, to call for the ghosts to stop drawing, everything is done ritualistically, the ghost silently waiting a moment before drawing the next letter of the word SNAIL as they leave the other players wondering how the hell that relates to their clue.

Alright, though, why this when you could have sunk the same money into spooky communication all-star Mysterium? Or the competitive last-place-targeted mystery game Dixit? Both of those games are very well established, and they’re well proven. Chances are good if you play board games occasionally with people at social experiences, those games are well known and maybe even already in your collection, or their collection. Just using those games as a place to start, what’s the allure of Phantom Ink as a social play experience for a Halloween party?

I say that like I’ve ever been to a Halloween party. Like, y’all know that Halloween lands right as the year starts to get hot and sunny, right? I’ve seen maybe twenty trick or treaters in my entire life and most of them are kids going out with their parents and seeing if anyone has lollies for them at all. But let’s go along with what I am pretty sure a Halloween party looks like, in the context of being in a culture where you want some reason for multiple people to hang out at your house and stay up late together. Sounds fun!

Anyway, in the context of a party event, where people don’t necessarily want to learn anything too complicated, Phantom Ink is a board game about asking a room full of people about a crossword clue you’re having troubles with and deliberately giving them a slightly wrong clue. If you can imagine your friends and see them all losing their minds about that, and finding that funny, congratulations. Phantom Ink is for you.

Mysterium as a party game is full of anxieties. Someone has to stay silent for sometimes as much as two hours. Dixit is a game that quickly becomes about reading individuals, identifying a single safe loser and picking on them, and it’s a hard game to actually be good at, which can be frustrating to a particular player type.

Plus, and it’s very important, Phantom Ink is a competitive game. See, when it comes to getting engaged and staying engaged, there’s a particular problem cooperative games can get in party environments. We talk about ‘alpha gamers,’ where one player can dominate a play experience by telling people what to do, but there’s also the inverse, of players who aren’t seriously invested, realise other people are taking care of things, and are willing to kind of check out. This kind of play situation, for lightly engaged people, can lead to them seeing everyone struggling towards the same end and feeling like they can just give up and not bother anyone, but still float in the game because, you know, nice to be involved.

Now this isn’t to say Phantom Ink fixes these people’s experience of the games, but there are players who when confronted with this option, with the additional teeth of a game about beating someone, can be excited by it.

Phantom Ink isn’t about to solve all the problems of its genre. It requires a competitive mindset, a love of word games, and an interest in group puzzle solving. But it also looks cool, takes up a smaller footprint and requires less buy-in for a group to get started on, and the way it kicks in feels, to me, like a game with more active teeth. It’s a communication game stripped almost to the studs, with every component doing the absolute minimum it has to in order to keep the players connected to one another.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Game Pile #Games

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lipsyncforyourlife · 2 years

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Kerri Colby Is Living For The Fantasy + "Snatch Game" Recap (Issue #10)

The RuPaul's Drag Race Official Newsletter

In this week’s Drag Race newsletter, we recap an awkward “Snatch Game,” count down the funniest moments from the challenge, and share an exclusive interview with Kerri Colby. Don’t forget to subscribe so you can stay tuned for all of the latest Drag Race updates!

A signature of Drag Race, Snatch Game is a challenge that’s both revered and feared by the queens. It’s a demanding test of intuitive character work and quick-witted improv skills, but it’s also seen as something of a “make or break” moment of the season, regularly arriving when about half the cast remains and exhaustion starts to set in. We often hear just how difficult Snatch Game is, but Season 14 might be one of the first times we actually see that as this talented group hits a wall as soon as the challenge starts. My name’s Cameron Scheetz, and it’s time to re-open Michelle Visage’s investigation…

The Mini

The mood was ecstatic after Jorgeous and Jasmine’s spirited Lip Sync, their double shantay seen as another sign that this cast is operating at a high level. Is there any challenge they can’t conquer? Well, stay tuned. Daya and Angeria both admitted to a twinge of disappointment that another week’s gone by and they still have just as many competitors, while DeJa was at a loss, having narrowly missed yet another win and wondering what she can possibly do to stand out.

The next day, Jasmine was interrupted by a clue-laden video message from RuPaul, leaving the girls curious about what awaits them. But first: A Mini Challenge! With nothing but colorful bubble wrap and a whole lot of tape, the queens needed to create “wearable pop art,” which lead to “hellish ASMR” as they snap-crackle-popped their outfits together in short time. Even if tape couldn’t hold everything up, it was fun to see everyone’s personal styles shine through, and Bosco—becoming quite the Mini Challenge maestro—snagged the win for a look that screamed Bosco (by which I mean, her butt cheeks were on full display).

The Set-Up

And then Ru announced what they’ve all been eagerly/nervously anticipating: It’s time for Snatch Game! Jasmine put it bluntly: “This is the challenge of Drag Race. It is the challenge that shows who’s going to be in the top of the season, and who’s not really going to make it too far.” In other words, the pressure is on.

After some excited tittering among the girls, Ru returned to the Werk Room for Walk Throughs, a.k.a. Snatch Game pep talks. As per usual, MamaRu took the opportunity to help the queens really hone in on their characters and find some sort of fresh angle. I thought the assertion that Lady Camden infuse her William Shakespeare with a little bit of Absolutely Fabulous’ Joanna Lumley (Lady’s backup character) was particularly interesting, as was the advice for Daya to channel her love of Ozzy Osbourne into her performance, the same way she does for Crystal Methyd. If there was any cause for concern, it was with Jorgeous, who was feeling anxious about yet another comedic acting challenge. She certainly wasn’t ready to drop her Aubrey Plaza impression on the spot, but she was more confident in her Ilana Glazer, and Ru reminded the queen to view herself from the inside—not the outside—so that she could be more present and in the moment. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it seemed like these queens were ready to smash the Snatch Game!

The Best Snatch Game Moments

First things first: This edition of Snatch Game was given a welcome double-dose of glam thanks to contestants Raven and Dove Cameron (if the bird name pun didn’t land for you until the bird photos showed up on screen, this is a safe space—that one flew over my head, too. Pun intended). They both had sharp answers to every question and nailed the back-and-forth banter with Ru, an essential component of the challenge. As DeJa would later note, Raven—a return contestant from both Season 13 and All Stars 2—might have been the funniest part of the whole thing.

When it came time to meet the panel, things got off to a fine enough start. We met Lady Camden’s randy Shakespeare, Jasmine’s clueless Betsy DeVos (a role once played by Scarlet Envy in Season 11’s “Trump: The Rusical”), Angeria’s extra kooky Tammie Brown, Jorgeous’ studied Ilana Glazer, Willow’s hippy-dippy Drew Barrymore (who forgot she worked with Ru on The World’s Best talent show), DeJa’s boisterous Lil Jon, Bosco’s husky-voiced Droop-touting Gwyneth Paltrow, and Daya’s spirited Ozzy Osbourne. But after the introductions, the rest of Snatch Game played out like one long “it’s chocolate” sad trombone sound. About halfway through, the girls felt it too, and it was clear the energy in the room was just off. That being said, I wanted to take a moment to count down my (completely subjective) list of Snatch Game’s five funniest moments:

5. Jasmine’s Accent Work: Like her performance in “The Daytona Wind,” Jasmine delivered a hilariously inconsistent accent. She may not have had any jokes, but her Midwestern vocal fry still got some giggles out of me.

4. Angeria’s “Nutbush”: I will admit I don’t even know what was going on here, but Angeria channeling Tammie channeling Tina Turner was just the right amount of absurd for my tastes.

3. Camden’s Toothy Grins: Lady Camden made the most of her screen time with a constantly wobbling head and a curling upper-lip, showcasing some great characterization even if her jokes didn’t always land.

2. Everything DeJa Did: DeJa’s Lil Jon was truly the life of the party, certainly looking the part and scoring laughs with every “YEAH!” and “OKAY!” But most importantly, it was clear DeJa had really thought this one through, with comedic answers that had a real effortlessness to them. She was having a ball, and I had a ball watching her.

1. Jorgeous’ Confusion: But my biggest laugh of the whole challenge wasn’t even part of the Snatch Game—it was during a confessional when Jorgeous wondered allowed, “Miss Lady Camden, she is… who—Beethoven, right?” Never change, Jorgeous.

The Looks

On the runway, the divas were absolutely divine in Holy Couture, which proved to be a category up for some creative interpretation. First out was DeJa, looking to the Skyes as Joan Of Arc by-way-of Zendaya at the 2018 Met Gala. Jasmine’s inspiration was astrological with a split-tone gown that gave way to a sparkling galaxy dress—two looks in one like a true Gemini. Angeria nailed every detail of her Church Lady get-up, while Bosco couldn’t kick the burlesque habit in her devilish nod to nuns (that hooved footwear is everything). Willow’s wild Bleeding Tooth Fungus piece was a true standout, a whimsical tribute to her spiritual relationship with psychedelics. Jorgeous worshipped a different kind of drug, serving Holy Smokes in her most conceptual runway yet. Lady Camden sang the praises of The Spice Girls with a party-ready look that was a clever melange of all five spices, and Daya took an unplanned tumble in her Bride-of-Judas gown but saved it with some badass bravado.

The Critiques

With all eight girls on stage, Michelle kicked things off by saying, “I’m just kind of speechless with this Snatch Game. I don’t know where everybody went.” Thus began Detective Visage’s investigation into the mystery of “Who Killed Snatch Game?” DeJa was removed from the suspect list rather quickly, with the judges noting that she was the one that was successfully funny in the challenge. As the only queen to get roundly positive critiques, it was clear DeJa Skye was this week’s top queen, finally scoring her much deserved point on the leader board.

As for everyone else, well, they seemed pretty aware that any of them could be on the chopping block. Despite that, the critiques weren’t all doom and gloom—there was a surprising amount of levity (Carson’s joke that Jasmine took Betsy DeVos’ job more seriously than Betsy got a huge laugh), and Dove Cameron proved herself to be an incredible addition to the Judge’s Panel with insightful observations and fantastic constructive feedback. After deliberations, the queens were brought back for a shocker: All seven of them were up for elimination and would need to Lip Sync For Their Lives… but not now. Ominously, Ru invited them all to a Lip Sync LaLaPaRuZa Smackdown to determine who would sashay away. To be continued!

Burning Questions

Copy-Snatch

After Gwyneth and Ozzy matched with two Snatch Game answers in a row, Bosco wondered if Daya was looking over her shoulder, which felt like a tease of some drama to come, but the thread is just left dangling. Honestly, if Daya was copying answers as an in-character bit, then props to her for finding a funny way into the challenge, though that was certainly not clear in the episode. I don’t see Bosco as one to hold grudges, but could this thread get picked up in the coming week? Or will the impending LaLaPaRuZa mean it gets brushed aside?

Next Week: Let’s Get Ready To Rumble

We’ve seen a LaLaPaRuZa before (when All Stars 4 gave its eliminated queens a chance to Lip Sync their way back into the competition), but that doesn’t mean we know what format to expect for this “Extra Special Episode.” What’s in store for us??? There’s a chance all seven queens could be asked to lip sync at once—with DeJa watching from the sidelines—although that certainly wouldn’t fill up an entire episode, so I’m anticipating a tournament-style event with random pairs of queens going head to head until we’re left with the bottom two. As the teaser shows, assassins Jasmine and Jorgeous feel pretty confident, but it’s worth noting that we’ve yet to see three of these queens (Angie, Bosco, Willow) compete in a traditional lip sync. Anything can happen, and I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about the possibilities.

The Other Half Of The Story

You know the drill: If you’re not watching Untucked, well, you’re missing out, babe! Let’s shout out a few of the most notable moments form this week’s episode.

Backstage, the girls were rattled, but they still took the time to toast DeJa on her win, whose big moment was somewhat undercut but the gag at the end of the episode. Still, it was nice to see the hard-working queen get her shine—even if Jasmine did try to jump in to talk about herself.

Not knowing what was to come, Jorgeous shared her exhaustion, as she was certain she was in the bottom two for the week. Just in the nick of time, a video message came through and it was from the queen’s entire family (including her (hot) brother), who were so lovely and supportive, clearly proud of their little star. The whole thing had Jorgeous in tears, but it was a much needed confidence booster, also reminding her that she has the enthusiastic support for her Season 14 sisterhood.

Willow recalled her joke from a few episodes back: “Just you watch, there’s going to be a challenge we all bomb”—very ironic in retrospect. Sometimes it sucks to be right! Do all of those psychedelic mushrooms give Willow a glimpse into the future?

I’m all in on Dove Cameron after this week. The actor/singer/former Disney Channel star was a blast on Snatch Game, a thoughtful guest judge, and a really warm presence among the girls in Untucked, sharing a wisdom beyond her years. She knew she didn’t see these queens at their best, so she reassured them that good things can come from failure (and that delusion is helpful… sometimes). What do Dove stans call themselves? I want to be part of the flock!

The Serve-ey w/ Kerri Colby

Each week, we’ll get to learn more about one of the queens of season 14 when they take our brief questionnaire, a.k.a. The Serve-ey. They’ll all get the same six questions, and then we’ll throw in one final “wildcard” question just for fun. This week: It’s everyone’s favorite auntie, Kerri Colby!

1. In keeping with the season promo’s board game theme: What was your favorite game growing up and why?

Well, I have like 3000 answers for you. I’m going to sound so weird here, but I’ve always been obsessed with games that are basically like simulations, which is kind of how I taught myself how to be the person that I wanted. This is probably going to get so deep, I apologize. But, for me, I was raised so constricted, that I didn’t have access to really explore and find the type of person that I wanted to be. So I literally would use games like The Game Of Life. I loved that game, because it kind of mapped out—in my little weird head—how I wanted things to go. Because you could either go to college or not go to college, then you’d get a better spin at life, and then if you get the $100,000 car, you can keep winning and you can retire at Millionaire Estates or Countryside Acres. So I would literally play Life all the time because I wanted to understand how life works.

And then, in a digital sense, I kind of graduated from that board-game mindset over towards things like—oh my god, I would spend hours playing Zoo Tycoon. I was obsessed because I was like, “I want to build the world!” And from my mom, I would get “screened” every time I would play games because I’d be gone for hours, so then my mom would do an inventory check of me to make sure I wasn’t misbehaving or watching porn or whatever the fuck. She’d be like, “What are you doing? What have you done on this computer? Let me see; pull up everything!” And when she would see the zoos that I would make, she sometimes would just cry because I would literally build these intricate zoos. I had all the expansion packs, so I would work on, like, restoring the endangered species and trying to find new ways make the park the best with a 100% satisfactory rating. These were the things I was obsessed with from, like, 8 to 10 years old.

And then I think I graduated from that into The Sims, and I lost my shit playing The Sims. But honestly, I tell people this: I turned the way that I played The Sims literally into the blueprint of how I live my life as Kerri. Because Kerri literally is a Sim character from the gods that I created, because I always was so obsessed with this fantasy.

Right! These games actually provide a space to explore options for yourself, even if you don’t realize it at the time.

Oh my god, yeah. And, for me, it was a projection thing because I was raised, as I’ve said, so conservative, and I felt so trapped. And I wasn’t really a rebellious person, I wasn’t like, “Fuck the system! Break everything!” I was more like, “Okay, well, I’m really unhappy. So I’m going to almost astral project through a game and try to see if I can find a life that would make me happy.” And I always knew, like, “Okay, I could actually work really hard and make this a reality.” The video game world, for the earlier parts of my life, was huge because it was my outlet, my escape.

2. How would you say the city you’re from helped define your drag?

Pretty much everything about my aesthetic—if you do your research—it comes straight out of Texas’s armpit, or asshole. I literally took that everyday bimbo, housewife, trophy wife-type vibe because—let me tell you something about Dallas, Texas: They are covered in them. You know, I couldn’t play with Barbies, but who needs those when you’re walking around malls in Texas. [Laughs.] I was obsessed with the big, blonde bombshell, and back in the time when I was being raised, the girls were wearing, you know, six-and-a-half-inch stilettos, they had all their little kids in matching outfits, getting into their all-black Chevy Suburban with black rims on the lift kit, okurrr.

So, again, it was kind of a projection thing. I would be out and about in Texas, and I would see someone who was giving what I was obsessed with, and I was like, “Can I ever like be that? I would love to be that!” I’m definitely inspired by trophy wives around the world. I love a good pageant mug, I love a good puss, just glamour-puss is forever my favorite go-to. Because you can play with glamour-puss; you can make glamour-puss a superhero, a supervillain, a supermodel, a super-slut—it’s always super though. And so I’ve always been obsessed with that aesthetic when it comes to Texas for sure.

3. With this season’s candy bar twist, I’m curious: If you were a piece of candy, what kind would you be?

Ugh, people are going to say I’m so ugly if I use this one. I mean, personally, I’m obsessed with Heath Bars, because I love anything that is like chocolate that’s wrapped around something else, that is embedded in something—that you have to, like, either suck on for a while and get every flavor, or you can just chew through it really quickly and you get hit with just a freaking umami of like, “Whoa, there’s salty, sweet, there’s nuts, there’s caramel, there’s toffee, and there’s chocolate.”

To be very honest with you—and this is not me being corny—I actually am obsessed with RuPaul’s chocolate bar. Because, when I first ate it, I was like, “What the actual fuck is in my mouth right now?” [Laughs.] Because I was like, “I taste cinnamon. I taste a sugar, I taste a little bit of caramel, I taste peanut butter.” I was like, “Wait, okay, am I crazy? Or am I tasting all these things?” And then I read the back and I was like, “Oh Miss Thing says she’s going to just mix every flavor and put it in chocolate.” I live. [Laughs.]

4. What can you tell us about your “confessional” interview look? How did you decide what to wear? What do you think it says about your style out of drag?

It’s funny because I think, to me, the confessional look was the one that I personally was the most invested in. It just meant the most to me because I’ve watched the show for years—my first introduction to Drag Race, ever, was season five. And I remember: The runway was where you got to see the queen, the Werk Room was where you got to meet the queen, and the confessional was where you got to know the queen. And, throughout my life, people have always thought so many things about me—people just have always assumed so much. I don’t I really overshare, so I usually am someone that I kind presents myself with what you see, and then you kind of think what you want about me. And then, if it’s true, I’ll tell you, and if it’s not, we’ll go with it and keep it a fantasy.

So, the confessional look, for me, was so personal because I’m far from the first trans woman to be on the show, but this was a unique opportunity where I was able to walk into the franchise being completely me. And I asked them, "Is it okay if I kind of embody a more ultra-femme spirit for my confessionals?” It wasn’t even about the drama of like, “Can you do that on Drag Race?” It’s more of a consideration thing because, you’ve got to remember, a lot of these girls put a little powder over their face, they tap their forehead with a tissue paper, and they put on a t-shirt, and then they go. So it’s a lot quicker. Versus me, being in glam, you have to make sure that you set your time aside. If we had interviews in the morning, you had to wake up extra early because you had to put on a little mug, then get my hair pressed and all this stuff. So I knew I was taking on a lot.

And this is just to any future trans girls if they want to be on the show: If you want to be glam in your interviews, prepare yourself because it’s a lot of extra work. But, for me, it was so rewarding because I want to be able to watch this back and see the person that I always hoped to see growing up watching Drag Race. So, being able to embody that—whether it’s extra, silly, funny, auntie, whatever it is—it just made me feel so much more at home, personally, because now I see someone on my screen that I identified with, and I wasn’t afraid to be extra and be that bad bitch.

5. What’s a fun fact you can share about one of your season 14 sisters that might surprise the fans?

Ooh, I have like a couple. Yes, Angeria really is shaped like the letter “P” in drag. Two, Jasmine does actually talk that much, that’s why we call her "Mouth Almighty.” Three, Daya Betty is that tall—that bitch is gigantic, especially in some of them heels. Four, Jorgeous really is that tiny; she is so small. [Laughs.] And then five is that, yes, Bosco is actually is that observant. She was so observant the whole season that I was like, “Low-key, this girl hates me.” And then especially afterwards, once the anxiety of the show was over, and with her owning her truth and coming out as Trans, I realized it wasn’t even about a negative type of observing. It was more like—with me and her the whole season—she was processing a reality that was literally just screaming and squawking and dipping and acting a fool right in front of her. And I feel like, once we left the show, it was just so amazing to see her come into herself and own her truth. I was just with her in Seattle, and we had the best time. I was giving me very, “Alexa, play Katy Perry ‘I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It.’” [Laughs.]

6. Here’s a chance to shout out another drag performer, designer, hair & makeup artist, etc… who really helped inspire you or prepare you for your journey on Drag Race.

There’s a couple people here. My number one “thank you” forever will go to my two aunties, Kylie Sonique Love and Brooke Lynn Hytes. They got me the most prepared I ever could have been to give the best of what I could have given. Brooke Lynn is, hands down, a professional and an amazing, absolute lunatic, and I love her. She’s an OCD queen as well, so she was very much telling me tips and tricks about where your headspace should be when you’re on the floor, because that headspace is going to be what keeps you and what pushes you through.

And Kylie broke down where my heart-space should be. Because she had the best insight, I think, for any of the girls who do go into this experience as a Trans woman, because she’s done the original, she found her truth, and then she came back on All Stars. And it’s not easy, but she made it look so beautiful, so graceful, and she soared through her competition and won. And so she was telling me all these little things like, when you wake up in the morning, try to do a little yoga. You’re going to be by yourself for a lot of time, so talk to yourself, but don’t be crazy about it. Literally walk yourself through each new day in the Werk Room. What can I do right now to get me in the best headspace, to be the most successful? When you’re waking up in the morning, actually take time to make your bed, lay your toothbrush out, have your favorite soap ready.

Love the experience and the experience will end up loving you back. I remember being a little stressed or freaked out so many times, you know, and it’s natural! But replaying Kylie’s kind, kind words in my head just made me feel like, “Okay, Kerri, you got this. You can wake up today—yes, you’re up super early, but you’re gonna slay it. And you’re going to enjoy this and you’re going to have fun.”

7. Wildcard: Over the course of the season, we’ve really seen you blossom into this mother figure, this support system, not only to your Trans sisters in the cast, but also to the fans online, on Twitter—

I knew you were going to bring Twitter into this because they are acting a fool right now. [Laughs.]

Well it’s because we miss seeing you on the show! We need to get our Kerri fix somewhere.

Aw, I love that so much. It makes me like pinch myself a lot because I can’t believe people actually care about my bullshit.

Let’s put a pin in the fans just for a second, because I wanted to ask: Who are some of the women—throughout your life—that have really helped lift you up and been your support system?

Oh my goodness. There are many from different stages and times, But I would say the most consistent one—when I when I look back through the journey of my of my life, there is one person who stands out to me as always being an inspiration, a goddess, a blueprint, and a mother to me, and that would be Sasha Colby. It’s funny because I guess it kind of runs in the genes, because we’re both Leos, so it’s really interesting to see how parallel a lot of our lives are. It’s insane. She is one of those people who has such an impact on people without even knowing it, without even realizing it. And, from before I met her, she inspired. She enthralled me with inspiration.

You know how normally people say, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Because, if you do, it might break your fantasy, it might shatter your world. Well, I would say with her it’s the opposite. Meeting her, she’s even more than you would have envisioned her to be. If she meets someone and she’s out and about, she’s actually going to treat you like a best friend—she’s not gonna treat you like a like a fan. If you’re in a show with her, she will actually get you in the right headspace and gets you together to make sure that you go out and you give your best, no matter what it is. It could be a show at a bar at one o'clock in the morning, or it could be a gigantic competition and pageant where she’s competing against you—she will still pour her soul out to make sure that you’re in your best headspace. Because that’s all that we can be. That’s all we can give.

My other little mother—I like to call her—out there is Mariah Carey. And she has a famous saying that she’s going to do the best she can with what she’s got. When you actually take it back home with you, it’s not saying, “I’m going to do the best always,” but “with whatever I’ve got—if I’ve got one penny, I’m going to do the best I can with it.” And both those ladies—one says it and sings it out, which we see on TV, but the other one, I have had the pleasure to actually live through that it with them, being in their truth. So it’s definitely a full circle moment.

And speaking of full circle moments, you really have become this source of inspiration for so many people Have you been surprised by the reaction since the season started airing?

Absolutely. I never thought that being called “Tranos” would be such a compliment. [Laughs.] It’s funny because some people, when they see me act a fool like that, they’re like, “Oh, there she goes, girl, it’s all going to her head.” And what’s funny is, I think that we always take things at face value, but it’s about the intention. And what is so interesting about the love that I get like—yes, it’s a little eccentric, it’s a little crazy, but I think that the kids are stir-crazy. I think they wanted a Trans Barbie doll to play with for years. And now that they have it, they kind of just have—it’s almost like someone saying, “I want a pony for Christmas,” and then someone’s like, “Well, I bought you a whole horse farm!” You know? The kids kind of lost their mind a little bit, but it’s because they are so just overwhelmed by it, by that moment.

I made a tweet—which some people have opinions about it, and it’s fine—where I was like, “Who’s ready to transition?” And people were like, “Oh my god, this girl is crazy. She is just riding the wave with this whole Trans thing.” And, well, a little bit, but I used my platform to ask a question to make people more comfortable to share. And, if you go through those comments, there are a lot of sweet angels. You can tell where their headspace is because you can see it you can feel tweets—Twitter has a weird sixth sense, and you can feel if someone’s being honest or shady, or if someone’s almost giving you a cry for help through a keyboard. You can see that there are these sweet angels that are out there like, “Oh my god, I think I’m ready. Oh my god, what is my next step?” And that is what the purpose of the tweet was. It’s not about the 10,000 people who like it and laugh at it, it’s about those 5 to 10 real people who probably never felt comfortable to talk about their truth, who never felt okay to share who they are on the inside with the public. But because of a silly girl—who acted a fool on TV and shared her truth and helped others own their truth on a show—is asking on Twitter, in an almost anonymous way, "Who’s ready to transition?” Now we have people coming forward and saying like, “Oh, you know what? I am! What are those steps?”

And that’s where I personally I take that liberty to be like, “Well, reach out to your local LGBTQ health providers—they actually can get you on hormones, they can help with access to your surgeries, or things that you might want to achieve as a woman.” But now they have the knowledge to go and seek that out. They’re not just here with a dream and no blueprint. We’re here to give the girls a little bit of what they need, or even a confidence boost, you know? Sometimes a simple gesture can go so, so, so, so far. And that’s literally what we do.

All that craziness on Twitter, that’s literally what it’s about. Because, if you look at Jesus, what did he do in the reality of the world? He walked into the absolute hottest messes of places, and he said, “I just want to be present, I just want to touch you, I just want to love you, and I just want to build you up to be something better than you were when you walked in.” And I can’t say I am Jesus, at all, in that respect. But, being raised in the church, I understand that fellowship spirit of “Let me just give you a hand, a shoulder, and a genuine heart for a moment in time. And let’s see what you do with it.” Because I guarantee you’re going to do something better than you would have done without that. You know, that’s what it’s about. And it’s a blessing.

The Looks You Didn't See

It’s practically tradition that eliminated queens will take to social media to show off the stunning looks they didn’t use on the runway. Every week, we’ll reserve this space to shout out our favorite “unseen looks.“

Kornbread “The Ankle” Jeté

@kornbreadTMFS

Walk into the room LOAF FIRST Photo: @dmvrtinez https://t.co/1l3u6rCQXk

6:46 PM - 12 Mar 2022

For the first time this season, Kornbread has graced us with a peek at the look she would’ve worn for the Holy Couture runway—and it’s a gag! Ms. Bread is our own personal Jesus, complete with a beard and the ‘ole water-into-wine trick. Praise her!! Also don’t miss: Alyssa Hunter praising pageantry, Orion Story serving flower power, plus glimpses at Kerri Colby and Kornbread’s unused Snatch Game characters.

Gagatrondra! It's The Tweets Of The Week

We wrap up every newsletter with a rundown of some of our favorite reaction tweets of the week, so use #DragRace and you may find yourself here!

Contra Versial

@VersialContra

Deja Skye on stage whilst every single queen gets dragged by all 4 judges back to back #DragRace https://t.co/Az7MBUOeBM

9:54 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Frank Costa

@feistyfrank

not Lady Camden serving Lord Farquaad 💀 #DragRace https://t.co/517keFyza3

8:37 PM - 11 Mar 2022

momo 💫

@reecie_pc

The girls in Untucked trying to figure out who’s going home this week #DragRace https://t.co/CoCLtAuUgH

9:23 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Jaime Lizardo

@jaimlizardo

#DragRace those were the days, here we go, Top 8 3 weeks in a row LET’S GO!! https://t.co/uEaAwIdf1H

11:16 PM - 11 Mar 2022

Want More?

This week on The Pit Stop, Monét X Change is joined by comedy queen Bianca Del Rio to dig into where and when this Snatch Game went so, so wrong. “Choices!,” Bianca says. Check it out below:

The Pit Stop S14 E10 | Monét X Change & Bianca Del Rio Sip N’ Snatch | RuPaul’s Drag Race

#RuPaul's Drag Race #Newsletter #Kerri Colby #Snatch Game S14 #The Sims #Zoo Tycoon

0 notes

bellesowl · 3 years

Text

kiss and make up

- multiple characters

⤷ atsumu, sakusa

genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip

synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument

word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each

warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear

- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well

- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3

- miya atsumu

you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable

you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree

you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after

because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him

but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it

atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.

surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.

“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile

atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”

your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.

“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.

“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath

you stop in shock because did he really just say that?

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you

“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.

not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”

“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.

you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things

“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”

you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.

atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.

it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.

“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.

he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”

your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”

“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”

“i love you too baby.” you reply

“to the moon and back?” he asks

“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard

“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”

you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.

- sakusa kiyoomi

dating sakusa was,, challenging

it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you

so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy

however there still moments when he reverts to his old self

this just happened to be one of those times

“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”

the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.

he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.

“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin

he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.

usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.

“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”

you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.

“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask

sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.

“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered

“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains

you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face.

you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time.

kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.

“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?”

sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you.

“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish.

“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps

"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-”

“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”

with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”

you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.

sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.

2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.

there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.

“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”

you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.

“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.

“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer

sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.

it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.

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