#reference used: still the same expression sheet from my first post

[tatarella]

Finished up the next line of my expression challenge for the two dorks!

🔽 *sigh*

🔽 Nya.

🔽 Gavus just found the fan fiction you have been reading about him.

🔽 When the prank worked as expected.

🔽 When Lucilla ate the last pudding. (He‘s only playing the pout because he loves his daughter and they are going to make a new batch of pudding together afterwards.)

[sgdlr-asdfghjkl]

Link Click Musical content 104

(chaotic one bc I only have to share my new discovery)

Today years old when I found out about the existence of 'Link Click Musical highlights' vlog series. And I'm going insane over it (esp the first gif). I haven't watched them all, bc I'm too excided to share it asap.

So I was looking through Wu Hanglu's weibo and saw she shared the vlog she did for the musical...

You can find it all on Encore Musicals weibo. It has around 6 parts, each is hosted by different Qiao Ling's actress. They have chinese subs, but even if you don't know the language there are still very fun ^^ Firstly, bc we can see all the actors rehearsing together!

Idk why I really wanted to see them all in the same room, so I'm having a field day seeing all Xiaoshis learning choreo, all Qiao Lings chatting at once or like Zhu Hanbin (LG) doing the floss dance with Teng Chunpeng and Ding Xingchen (CXS) in the background.

Other fun thing I've noticed is that the cast was using Link Click artbook as a reference (for eg. there's a clip where QL actress is doing all Qiao Ling's expressions from her reference sheet in a book). They have the book and other official stuff available on set. Imo it's v neat 🌟

OH! And how could I forget! You can sometimes hear instrumental versions of the songs in the background. The non-encore songs we don't get to hear. Crumbs Ik, but heyy it's better than nothing ✨

SO YEAH GO WATCH IT (first link in the masterlist, then follow the guide i drew to find the videos tab)

And thank you Wu Hanglu 💗

I was on her profile bc she posted behind the scenes and hangout pictures with some cast members esp Shu Rongbo. They used to perform together in other stageplays~

some pics from her latest performance, with new CXS actor Jing Yanqiao:

more Jing Yanqiao (there still aren't many pictures of him):

some pictures posted by new Lin Zhen actress, Zhang Ruishu:

and from official post for her debut:

byeee

[amerricanartwork]

Quetzalli's Local Group Designs - Shape Language

Since I've developed my off-the-string AU to the point I feel I can start sharing it here, I figured to make that easier I should start working on solidifying my designs for RW's main Local Group. The way I draw them has already gone through lots of change throughout my time in this fandom, but I hope I can be more consistent from now on. And seeing as it seems almost like a rite of passage to draw one's own interpretation of the slugcats/iterators here, now that I've been in this fandom close to a year, I feel like it's about time I take on the challenge too!

I plan to make a series of posts sharing the concept art I make as I design them, so for this post I decided to start with an element I've wanted to tackle for a while: shape language!

Oh, and before I forget, since these designs are technically still WIPs and subject to change, I'd love to hear any feedback on what I've got so far!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ever since I really got into expanding on and developing these characters' personalities and backstories until I had a clear overall picture of who they were, I've been thinking of the way I could use shape language to visually convey those traits, and even show some narrative significance in their journeys. To start, I focused on the main four iterators we see and hear from in-game here, since I was clearest about the looks I wanted for them and I have the most reference for what they look like.

Head Shapes

I started first with their heads, in which I wanted there to be a clear sense of structure similar to a human head, yet still keep that simple, cartoon-y cuteness I enjoy about the in-game iterator visuals. I left in the construction lines as reference for the structure, kept the eyes all blank, and made some notes — largely on the rhythm of the lines, because I love giving things pleasant shapes. You can also see the four shapes I settled on for these iterators below.

Along with refs for the the Local Group, I made this basic iterator head reference for further notes on the head structure. I basically tried to make a cartoon-y Loomis head with most of the facial features removed.

Body and Clothing Shapes

For me, this was the really fun part. I had really clear ideas for how to express their character traits visually that had been floating in my head for weeks, and couldn't wait to show it throughout their figures, and even their poses!

Using the same corresponding shapes, I made a simple, relatively rough silhouette reference sheet that doubles as a height chart, at least until I make a more official one. I also made a version without their robes:

And one with the two layers having a clearer overlap:

Personally, I really like this last one, because I think it really shows the difference between their robes and their actual bodies. Something I really enjoy in character design is when artists use contrast between a character's clothing and true physical body to juxtapose how they present themselves or how other people see them with who they really are or how they truly feel about themselves — and thus allude to what they might be concealing from the rest of their peers or even themselves.

I ended up giving all of the Local Group, including Chasing Wind and Unparalleled Innocence, some kind of important contrast between their public personas and their true selves, so getting to finally draw my ideas for displaying it visually was so satisfying! As to what those contrasting ideas are exactly, I will explain those later...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That's gonna be it for this first entry!

If I'm being honest, I originally I wasn't as keen on making my own designs for the characters, seeing as I like to try and keep my fan-content relatively similar to the original work, at least in overall features and core themes and whatnot. However, with this AU I've really started to enjoy adding to this world and characters via headcanons, yet always with the challenge of trying to be mostly consistent with the canon and more so explain things that are left vague rather than totally changing what's established.

When it comes to designs, I think I've finally reached a point where I feel confident in my ability to create depictions that are distinct from other artists' drawings of the Local Group and that at least somewhat capture that old cartoon feel, yet still remain visually similar to their in-game looks. And as someone who already enjoys character design, this whole challenge seems like a good way for me to start practicing the deeper elements without being in total darkness from having to create brand new characters.

If you made it all the way to the end of this, thank you so much! I'm so excited to start sharing my ideas for these characters, and I'm eager to share the other ideas I have and see what I come up with next!

[izloveshorses]

we're almost to the halfway mark, so i thought i'd share another progress update on this little (big) project!! (previous update)

i've almost finished drawing half of all the assets (according to my spreadsheet) and then we can start assembling them into a "book." the bulk of the assets are characters/costumes, but i've also completed several props and started working on some backgrounds as well. I need to decide how the book will be laid out before i make much more progress on those, though. i've been trying to hold off on finishing the principal cast because i think saving them for ~dessert~ will keep me motivated to power through the rest, but i'm so anxious to get to them because i want to play with them in photoshop and put them on their associated backgrounds like little paper dolls 🙈 so that's why ballet tuxedo!dmitry doesn't exist yet, and why i've yet to color the rest of anya's act ii wardrobe.

anyway. progress in my workflow is hardly ever linear, but you can kind of see how i approach the rendering process from these images, i hope. the drawing carries the weight of the image so that step always takes the longest, since getting the likeness, the proportions, the folds, and the expressions right is the most important. if any of that looks off no skillful painting or rendering can save it.

and then i always color skin first because everything else (clothes, hair) goes on top of skin. you can see the color palette i'm using is the same for almost all of them, though act ii requires a few more saturated hues than act i (bright blue, some reds, and green every once in a while). coloring the rest in doesn't usually take very long. once the flats are down i go in for a final pass, laying down those patterns and textures that always give me a hard time lol. and then i clean up and recolor the line work and mark it as done! since i'm working digital i use alpha lock and clipping masks for that.

director's cut commentary of each image included (under the cut bc this post is already so long):

anya's act ii lineup. her phtk outfit is the only one i've marked complete (the linework on the others is still black and need just a few more touchups). I've yet to lay in the flats for the maroon travel coat because i think the drawing needs more work. i might change a few things on big red, maybe her expression, but i haven't decided yet.

dmitry's act ii lineup (sans tuxedo). he just needs a final pass on the first two on the left, and then his finale look is finished, because it's the same from act i :)

vlad's act ii lineup. he's almost done, just needs a final pass on the finale and phtk outfits.

lily's act ii lineup. i'm going to redo the pattern on her neva club dress (linda cho i love u but god) but otherwise she's all finished.

the dowager's act ii lineup. she's done! :) maybe i'll find something to pick at later but rn i'm marking her done lol.

petersburg citizens from rumor! i think these guys are all done. there are more people i could include, but there isn't enough variation on the costumes to make it worth it imo.

neva club patrons. the only two marked complete are the two on the left, sergei the doorman/the male server and count leopold. i still need to find a good reference for the female server lol.

the press! just the men for now lol. i used the obc program as a reference for this one, so i'll get the two ladies in soon :)

the hussies! i've marked it complete, but. we'll see if there's more adjustments i can make.

there's still more i've completed that's not pictured, but i'll definitely share more soon. act i is nearly finished entirely, which is cool, and the only big ensemble sheet i've yet to make much progress on is everyone in phtk. i may end up just drawing one or two people from that and then copying them with different patterns because, honestly, the shape of the dresses and suits are all very similar. hopefully that won't be boring to look at lol.

if there's anything in particular you'd like to see/have any questions, or even suggestions, lmk!! and follow my 'anastasia illustrated guide' tag for more updates :)

[mahjastrax]

[ FAN-MADE OC ] Tategokoge

finally! i was able to post them now that i have finished making a second reference sheet for this little goober that is now up to date since i have changed a few bits in their design. with that out of the way, i'd like all of you to meet tategokoge, the deer ratatan!

also look! they got a written info for once - i guess you could say this is the first time where the post of the character i shared finally includes an actual written information about them. i still need to try and do more of these for my other OCs if i ever got around to posting them but otherwise, this is their info so far:

PLAYSTYLE tategokoge is a deer ratatan who specializes in crowd control. they use their melodium, a green bazooka/rpg/rocket launcher harp, to deal attacks that cover a wide range of area and also has a high damage, making them easily take out larger groups of enemies. their attacks also have a chance to inflict a burning status effect to chip out extra damage - that makes it so that if there's any living enemies that some how manage to tank out the damage, them getting burned will finish them off.

their weakness is that they have no regard of their safety because their main focus is to take down as many enemies as they can. they are slightly slow, and because of it they have a good chance to not move out on time to dodge oncoming attacks. tategokoge's reaction time is also delayed, making them vulnerable and become overwhelmed if a swarm of enemies comes in their way and if they are on a bad spot. their strength only shows if they attack from afar, and can only live if there is a tanker (and a healer for extra safe measure) to escort them to another place.

PERSONALITY they are an ambivert! introvert leaning, that is.

tategokoge would not hesitate to converse with others if they happen to cross the same paths as each other. at first, they are usually awkward - they often are always careful on the words they so choose as to not give off a first bad expression, but it makes them hesitant and would take a bit for them to respond something until they have an idea on what to say next. they are also sensitive, and it only takes a one mean sentence to get them to run off crying. sometimes, their worries would get the best of them, shutting themselves off from everyone else until they think it's ready to let themselves bloom out again.

[s3mi-ch4rm3d]

Case File - Casimira "Heretic" Broz

A/N: ok hi this is my first time posting anything i've written rip... hopefully this helps me get a bit more confident !!

Massive massive thanks to @charliemwrites for letting me use the character sheet template !! i hope u guys enjoy, i have a few fic ideas for heretic inspired stuff later (:

Character File

Name: Casimira  Angelika “Heretic” Broz

Aliases: Mira / Cass, Gwiazdko (by her grandmother, meaning star), Grandma (her original squad), Little Guy (in reference to herself)

Age: 31

Gender and pronouns: AFAB, she/her (?) (but also calls herself “little guy” often, and seems indifferent to masculine terms in general)

Marital Status: Single

Surviving family: grandmother, younger brother, mother (estranged)

Physical description:

A well-built figure – a lot of muscle, with the majority of her strength kept in her legs, with thick calves and hefty thighs. She often claims to be “working on her upper body strength,” although no discernible change to her upper body strength has been made. She stands at 5’3  5’4 (161cm) and 127lbs. Casimira’s hair is long, almost pitch black in colour with a slight wave to it. It’s constantly pulled back into a crisp ponytail – you can usually tell when she’s having a bad day by the neatness of her hair. Has been heard cursing loudly in Polish when frustrated at the styling. Her eyes are pools of (mostly) light brown, rimmed with deep eyebags (no matter how much or how little sleep she gets). 

Identifying/Unusual features:

A small speck of blue in her left iris

A beauty-mark under the right-hand side of her lip

A few facial scars: one cutting up through both of her lips on the left-hand side of her face, another just above her eyebrow on the same side.

A few other innocuous scars littering her arms, entirely tattooed over

A burn scar that curls up her entire right leg, worsening at the bottom and gradually fading at the top.

Tattoos:

(where to even begin………………)

A patchwork sleeve on her right arm with small, seemingly random symbols/images (including a pair of scissors, a rosary, an icepick, a bar of soap, a dog baring its teeth, like five different beetles, some skulls of different animals, a singular tooth, a duck skateboarding, etc etc)

A set of 4 swords on her left thigh, seemingly from media she enjoys. (Sting and Andúril from LOTR, Excalibur, the Master Sword from LoZ)

‘Should I Stay?’ above her left knee, ‘Should I Go?’ underneath the same knee – a reference to her favourite song

An effigy to Laika on her left bicep surrounded by a scattering of scars, with the message “patron saint of one way trips”

Special file note: Do not dare her to get a tattoo, she will do it. She will regret it. And then she will proceed to do it again the next time someone dares her. DO NOT LET HER OWN A STICK AND POKE KIT. 

Early Childhood:

Broz’s earliest memories revolve around worship; the wave of incense invading her nostrils, being bathed in a kaleidoscope of rich colour as the sun refracted through the stained glass windows of her local church with the taste of salty wafer heavy on her small tongue. There, under the roof of the small chapel, strangers united by their shared devotion. 

Her mother was undergoing her postulancy and in the process of becoming a nun when she found out she was pregnant with Casimira (out of wedlock, no less). The embarrassment and stigma pushed her family out of their small, rural Polish town, and as such they immigrated to England when Broz was still an infant.

There was a distance between her and her mother growing up, marked by a mutual understanding of disappointment – on drunken evenings with too much wine in her stomach, Iga would complain loudly about the life she gave up to have her. 

Her Babcia, on the other hand, adored her. While she was never one for verbal expressions of love, hidden between half-hearted jabs, tuts and constant worrying was proof of her adoration. Knitting her scarves and gloves and blankets because you’re always wearing such little clothing, pilling her lunchboxes full of home-cooked food because when did you get so thin, mały Gwiazdko?

As Broz grew older, mindless devotion grew less enchanting. The church became a stuffy little place instead of a second home, and she often left with more questions than answers. As she grew more doubtful, her mother grew more evangelical and fanatical in her beliefs, which was only worsened with the birth of her younger brother to another nameless father. 

In school, it seemed as though nothing academic came to her naturally. What other students could do as easy as breathing, she had to devote herself fully to in order to make good grades. She felt as though she constantly had something to prove, had to fight to be praised for her efforts and be noticed. 

Athletics, on the other hand, came to her like breathing. She joined almost every athletic club her school had to offer – from archery, to track, gymnastics. Team sports specifically; netball, football, cricket, rounders – she excelled at them all. There was something about working as part of a group; following signals, obeying commands, non-verbal communication was where she thrived. Always willing to make the risky play in order for her team to excel. 

Around the time of her brother’s birth, at age 15, was when she started considering joining the military. As her home life grew more tumultuous, she grew desperate for any way to escape. The comradery witnessed at careers fairs enticed her. The idea of working together to actually achieve something, to influence the world in an important way, to help! 

She joined shortly after turning 17. 

Military Career:

Broz originally wanted to enter the military with the aim of becoming a Chaplain, but changed her mind shortly before enrolling.

Unwaveringly loyal, endlessly patient and respectful, she hastily rose through the ranks. She made fast friends with everyone in her first squad, quickly earning the nickname Grandma due to her constant faffing and dry humour. 

She grew to be well-liked by her superiors also; her history in team sports and devoted nature made her a brilliant soldier. She was cooperative, level-headed, and very eager to impress. Excelled at stealth, hand-to-hand combat and at sniping. A jack-of-all-trades type soldier, she fell easily into any role. 

Her only flaw was her tendency for martyrdom. She would do anything for her team to succeed, even if it meant pulling the self-sacrifice play. It landed her in many difficult situations – the only issue on her disciplinary record. 

The trajectory of her career was altered dramatically with the death of most of her team, with herself and her Lieutenant being the only survivors.

Broz fought tooth and nail against the idea of honourable discharge in the wake of this tragedy, and her determination caught the attention of Kate Laswell. Heretic, after her recovery, now serves by flitting between squads under Laswell’s purview. Whether it be helping with gathering intel and infiltration, ambushing and sabotage, she offers her services to teams temporarily to fill whichever role is needed of her. 

While she still proves to be dependable and loyal, she seems to have developed an issue with fraternising with new teams. Her issues with self-sacrifice still place her in trouble for insubordination often. 

[transannabeth]

hi! i love your art style!! i was wondering if you had any tips on practicing figure drawing. i understand the like “a person is about 7 heads in height, and this is where joints should go on the chart,” but i find when trying to draw dynamic figures, i end up lengthening limbs to the point of uncanny valley. i know practice is Thee One Big Thing, but i was wondering if you had something more discreet. like practice is the staircase but are there any steps you’d recommend to getting to the top of the staircase, which has “get a little better at figure drawing” at the top? thanks so much!

ahhh thank you so much!!! i'm so glad you like my art!!

my advice for figure drawing is still 'practice' but maybe the advice i have for practice will help out a little? i guess we'll find out aldskfj

first though, proportion rules are super helpful for more static poses, but can definitely be harder to use in active ones. i actually learned most of mine from cyberchase (thank you pbs kids) hilariously enough, but others you can sorta figure out for yourself just by seeing what is (approximately) the same size!

for arms my big one is always that from your shoulder to elbow is about the same length as your head and neck. and then from your elbow to your wrist is slightly shorter than that. you can test this for yourself by holding up your arm and resting your forearm on your head, or touching your fingers to your shoulder! of course, this isn't always true for everyone, so you can play with that, but if your arms are looking too long, that's my big one!

for legs, i do something kind of similar, where if i pull my leg to my chest, for me, my leg comes just past my armpit, so my hip joint to knee is slightly smaller than my torso (and same for the bottom of my leg). again, this isn't exact, but i find it easier to do how bigger body parts are proportional to each other (sections of leg to torso, parts of arm to head) opposed to like 7 heads for the full body, and i find it a little easier to use for poses and moving limbs around

for practice i super recommend both references and drawing from life!! if there are any classes near you with a live model, i personally recommend it because i both think it's a lot of fun (i like the mindset long study sessions like that put me in) and i think that it gives you a lot of good experiences with body types and poses and angles you might not think of!

since those are not always accessible though, drawing from photos is also great! the site line of action is my go to, because it allows you to set different a time limit for your drawings and gives you options like the models' ages, genders, and if they're clothed or nude. since you have no other control over what images you get, it gives you poses that you might not've tried before!

(this site also has expressions (i love that section), environments, hands and feet, and animals!)

also reference photos are my best friend (i say, not using them as much as i should). there are SO MANY people who post reference photos for artists doing all sorts of poses, with all sorts of props, and it's great. the one that i can immediately find is adorastock which i highly recommend clicking through even for some inspiration!

if you can't find what you're looking for, taking pictures of yourself or people around you is always something you can do as well. i am constantly taking pictures of my hands because i can't figure out the right angle of everything. for the piece of leesia and teddy where leesia is lunging with knives, i took a photo of myself at like 3 am to get that one. for my final project in a drawing class, i took a picture of my sister wrapped in a bed sheet because i couldn't figure out how to make the fabric draping look right

piggybacking off that one, those final pieces were actually based on john william waterhouse's paintings. (the assignment was to i think remake/modernize a piece) i think doing studies of other people's art and even tracing sometimes, can be really beneficial. i know there are a lot of thoughts about tracing, but i think that if you just don't post it... it's fine. older, famous artists have studies and redrawings done all the time of their work (j.c. leyendecker is a favorite for people's studies)

so yeah!! that's all the advice i've currently got. and also... sometimes proportions....are a little fake. sometimes it's just your style. or it just kinda...looks better wrong. a lot of my drawings of people in long dresses have them with legs that are actually way too long because i like how the longer skirt looks. so none of the rules are hard and fast

good luck!! i hope something in this answer helps you out a little bit!!

[swtki]

Dancing Days - Edward Cullen x Reader Smut

Anonymous said: 19&24 on edward smut? love ur writing!

A/N: Thank you so much :) also I’m so happy everyone is h*rny for Eddy. I decided I want to explore more period times with Edward, changing his persona in a certain decade, but still ultimately being in the same universe as cannon. This will play into the readers character a tad bit.

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, SWEARING, S*X, VAMPIRES, ORAL SEX (MALE RECIEVING), VIRGIN! EDWARD, NON VIRGIN READER, GENDER NEUTURAL READER, MENTIONS OF WAR AND DEATH. 

19: “Fuck me like you want people to know”.

24. “Thing is, I’m a virgin”. 

_______________________________________

I brushed my hair into its usual part, making sure I looked flawless. The year was 1976, I was a senior in Highschool. It was a wonderful time to be a teenager, no longer afraid that my friends would die in Vietnam. Even in my dinky little Washington town, the culture was becoming our own. 

The Led Zeppelin record playing on my record player stopped suddenly, alerting me that I was no longer alone in my room. I turned, my expression soft as I saw my boyfriend, Edward.

“Whats up with you and this album? Everytime I come in, its always House of Th Holy on repeat.” I rolled my eyes, lifted the record in question off of the tray, and put it back snuggly in its case. 

“I can’t help it, Ed. Robert just speaks to me. I’m sure you’re like that with Louis Armstrong.” I waved my hand, walking back to my mirror to finish getting ready. 

“Maybe, but the music you listen to it’s...” Edward paused for a moment, sitting on my bed. “It’s suggestive, Y/N.” I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.

“Suggestive? What’s that supposed to mean?” I placed my hands on my hips, and waited for him to explain.

“Well, for one that one song says ‘Sipping booze’, I quite think that is blatant alcohol reference.” I looked at him, dumbfounded. Then, I started to laugh, and I walked over to him. Instinctually, he pushed his head into my chest, enjoying the comfort it brought him. 

“I love you, but god are we from two different Mars.” He chuckled, sending a rumble through my chest.

At school, I was an average kid. Fair grades, many friends, many ex friends. When Edward was paired up with me in math, I got through his cold, stone skin. At first, he was annoyed when I would fuck off, leaving him to do the work himself. Understandable, and once I realized how rude I was, I stopped. I talked to him, prodded him truthfully. I would ask him once we started dating if he had noticed me previously, because I had never noticed him. 

“Yes, I noticed that you were the only one who didn’t acknowledge me. Ironic I guess.” 

A year into our relationship, I would never let him go unnoticed. We walked the halls, hand in hand. Our outlooks were so different when it came to life. He was modest, I was free spirited. Edward was different from my boyfriends previously, I didn’t want to fuck things up, and I refused to even risk it. 

School went slowly that day, possibly because my head was focused on what I would ask Edward, my boyfriend of one year, about sex. About us and sex. 

I hadn’t told him that I wasn’t a virgin, I was worried he would only want a virgin girl, after all they can never look at you disappointed and say “I’ve had better.” A definite plus. Many a nights I tried to imagine him, moaning completely under my control. I wanted him, but I didn’t know if he wanted me. Surely in 50 years he had found a good fuck. I worried that he would be into someone else, forever tied to a vampiress. 

The end of the school day couldn’t have come sooner, my anxiety rising as I got into Edwards car, starting a long silent car ride. I tried to keep my mind off of it, an attempt to avoid the conversation until we were at my house. I kept my mind busy with the lush scenery outside of the passenger side window. 

“So... I know you want to ask me, and I know the answers to what I would ask you.” He said blatantly, putting the car in park outside my front lawn. 

“I don’t wanna talk out here Ed, lets go inside.” I swung my bag onto my shoulder. Thats the thing with Edward, I never have to say anything, just as long as I think it. 

My house was empty, making it easy for Edward to follow me upstairs to my room. I shut my door behind us, then turned to him. Unsure of what to say, I breathed in deeply.

“How long have you known that I wasn’t...you know?” He smiled, sitting on my plush navy sheets. 

“Y/N, I knew before I met you what I was getting into. Your ex had a lot of thoughts about that one night where you guys-” 

“Oh my god okay ew.” A blush rose upon my face, and I saw Edward laugh as he watched my body fill with embarassment. “Well why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

“I figured if it needed to be brought up, it would be. You and I aren’t exactly a physical couple so I didn’t worry too much.” I walked over to my bed, taking a seat next to him.

“I see...I mean it wouldn’t be a big deal for me so if you want to...” I bit my lip at him, his gaze turned to the other direction.

“Thing is, I’m a virgin.” My expression went from a seductive look, to a puzzled one. I wondered if I had heard him correctly. “I’m old school, Y/N. It wasn’t like how it is now when I was human. People didn’t just have sex in highschool, unless they were married because the man was off to war. So, it hasn’t been on the menu for me. You’re the first girl I’ve dated in fifty years, you know. And no, there was no vampiress or anything.” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t wanna scare you or push it or anything. It’s just you know-” 

“You want to touch me, to be touched by me.” his eyes trailed back to mine, looking deep into my soul.

“Yes, I want you, Edward.” I pressed my lips to his, pulling away jut as it got intense. I could feel his disappointment. “I want to...but I can’t let you down. Tomorrow night. I’ll call you and we can talk about everything we want out of it, I’ll give you a fucking fairytale, my love” I chuckled.

I called him that night as I had said I would. We talked about my first time, and everything I liked, followed by what he had seen on video, what he wanted to try, and his fears.

“I don’t want to kill you, darling.” He said.

“Then don’t. I won’t let you.” He laughed at me, enjoying my lack of seriousness.

The next night rolled along with a quick pace. I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for me to start getting ready. 

I made myself look simple, a small bit of makeup and hair product, but otherwise just a tank top and jeans. Sometimes, dating an old fashioned guy was a pain in the ass. Always complaining about suggestive behavior. But other times, my shoulders counted as being half nude.

“You look stunning, as per usual.” Edward said, stepping into my room. He was tense and barely moved. “I don’t know what to do..what usually happens with it if I’m not the one doing everything.”

If he had any blood flow, he would have been blushing right about then.

“We don’t have to do anything you know. We can just lay down and watch a movie if you want to, I just want to make you happy, Edward.” I walked over to him and put a strand of his messy auburn hair behind his ear. Without hesitation, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I want to, thats the part that’s been eating me away ever since I met you. I want to make you feel good, I just don’t know if I’ll lose it and-“ I cut him off with a kiss.

“Even if you break my pelvis into pieces, I’ll still be happy. I’m always happy when I’m with you.” we both smiled, and suddenly the thick tension that once filled the room vanished. “I’ll take care of you tonight, just as long as you’re doing it for you. I just need to know you’re doing this for you, and you need to be sure you wont roll over afterwards and hate me.” I said, my hand clasped in his marble one.

“I want you, Y/N. I have no doubts that I’ll want you afterwards, too.”

I pushed his head down, level to my own. Our kiss was deep, filled with a years worth of hunger. My hands tugged on his hair, making him whimper. Suddenly, I felt my feet lift off the ground as Edward carried me to my bed. With a soft thump, the plush sheets surrounded my body. It was a contrast of warmth on my back, and Edwards cool body on my top.

His hands were balled into fists, clutching my duvet as if his life depended on it. I pulled away, panting for air.

“Sorry, I forget you need air.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, its a shame you don’t. Because I intend on taking your breath away.” we both made small laughs at my remark.

“What now?” He looked at me for guidance.

“Get on your back.” I said.

We switched positions, he was now on the bottom. My legs straddled his torso, I sight he visably enjoyed. I slithered my hands up to his head, cupping his face as I kissed him again. My left hand left its post, reaching down to the buttons on his shirt.

I paused, looking up at him once I got to the last button.

“Does it...work like normal or...” He threw his head back and laughed.

“It doesn’t have spikes, I can assure you its just like a humans. But Emmet did tell me to pull out so...I’m kind of worried about the implications of that but-“ I leaned down to shut him up with a kiss.

His hands were still at his side, resting on the bed. I picked up his wrists, and placed them on the side of my thighs. He squeezed them lightly.

My hands roamed over his bare chest, cool to the touch. I lached my lips onto his neck, causing his back to arch below me. I could feel his excitement beneath me, it gave me a big self esteem boost. His hand reached along my waist, tugging at my shirt. His eyes lit up at the sight of my bare chest. He reached for me but I pulled away to slide down onto my knees.

He looked confused, like I had left him high and dry.

“Sit on the edge.” I said softly, my knees burning slightly due to the rough carpet underneath them.

He rid himself of the unbottoned shirt, slidding over to me once finished. My hands slowly stroked his thighs, he was desperate for some type of touch.

I smiled, tugging on his belt until it came undone. He stayed silent, looking at me like I was the only thing in the world. I unbottoned the trousers, tugging on them. He kicked them off and was left in his breifs.

“Is it okay if I..” I looked up at him and he nodded frantically. I palmed him over his underwear, feeling how hard he had gotten from kissing. My fingers latched onto the waist band, pulling them down to reveal a pale yet pink cock. It wasn’t too big, but deffinitley satisfactory. I ran my finger over the tip, earning a small groan from the vampire. My eyes trailed up to him, so I could see him when I took him in my mouth.

He let out a breathy moan, eyes focused on my mouth. His lips were parted ever so slightly. I bobbed my head, and grotesquely sexual sounds arose from my throat. I felt Edward move a strant of hair out of my face, he looked at me like I was a god.

“Fuck..Y/N if you keep doing that there wont be anything for you, dear” He said in a breathy moan. I pulled back, my mouth feeling sore and tired. “Do you still want to?” He asked, grasping his hands on my waist.

“Yes, I fucking need you.” I threw off my jeans, I would worry about finding them later, I needed him. He layed back down, propping his head up on my pillows. Our lips collided in another kiss as I leveled myself with him.

“Are you sure?” I ask him, stroking his hard member.

“I’m sure.” He pecked my lips again as I got ontop of his lean figure. I spat in my hand, lubing up my needy hole.

“How do you want me to do this? I mean like slow? What do-“ He said with genuine worry.

“Fuck me like you want people to know” I whispered, “ Fuck me like you want the entire neighborhood to know that I’m yours and yours only.”

“I can make that happen, love.” He flipped me over, now being back to where we first started. He lined up his cock with my hole, running it around the tight area. I put my fingers in his hair, making a slight tug as he pushed into my body.

Pleasure filled my body as he filled me up, his cock stretched my insides in the right ways. Without pausing, he started to push his hips into mine, making sure not to hurt me.

He reached down to suck on my neck, adding to the pornagraphic moans in the room. My hands travled to his back, scratching my nails down the cold stone like skin. His moans echoed in my ear.

“Y/N, I can’t be on top I’m going to crush you” I laughed at him, tapping his side so he fell onto the bed. I swung my legs over him, sitting on his perfect cock.

“Perfect, fucking amazing.” He said as I steady myself onto him. His face was in a euphoric expression, the most relaxed I had ever seen him.

I began to rock my hips, sliding him in and out of me. His hands grabbed onto my hips, guiding me. Everything was a euphoric experience. My gut filled with that wonderful sensation.

“Edward I’m gonna cum, oh my god” I moaned out, picking up my pace.

Suddenly, the world went still. My eyes went black and I saw stars as my orgasm washed over me. My moans echoed in the room as my body twitched. A few thrusts up into my body and Edward pulled out of me, rubbing his cum out onto his hand.

I layed there panting while he sped to the bathroom, and came back with a clean cloth, wiping down my body. He put the cloth down, pulling up his underwear and handing me mine. I slipped the fabric on, slipping under the covers.

“Get in here, I wanna kiss you”

He laughed, obeying and slipping beside me. Our lips reunited in a soft clash.

“I love you so much, dear.”

[simpsiren]

the uptight softie;

lee jeno x reader

Jeno Lee, president of the student council here in college. He’s everything you’d expect a president to be. Uptight, firm, yet still kind and sweet with his gentle side that you wouldn’t expect to stand out till you actually bother to talk to him. Though he unwillingly got voted, he still has a reputation to keep up, therefore the reason for his stern nature, not wanting to slip at any point of his college life to keep his position and do anything that’ll benefit him in University.

genre. angst, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers

word count. 19.2k~ (someone stop me omg sshsjsj)

description. Money. It has always been tempting isn’t it? It’s what makes the world go round. In this life where circumstances could easily be tipped in favour of the rich and powerful, it’s no surprise when one day Jeno is met with a woman that struck up a deal for him to tame her daughter to earn money in return. He thought it was a simple job, till he came face to face with the girl he had to keep under control.

!as they should masterlist!

It all started on a Tuesday. First week of the new school year. Jeno, being appointed as the new president of the student council, his first job was to plan a welcoming party for the new students fresh out of high school coming into their college.

“Can we please have alcohol?” Everyone’s heads turned to Ten in unison as his suggestion rang through the ears of the council members. With a sigh, Jeno leaned forward and covered his eyes with his hand for a moment before removing it and replying a, “Do you want me to be stripped of my position?” He questioned, not expecting a reply in return as he darted his eyes down on Ten.

“We can simply sneak it in though.” Jeno gaped his mouth open, lightly scoffing in disbelief as he heard his vice president even considering it as well. “You can’t be serious, Haechan.” Jeno leaned back into his chair, arms folded as the room fell silent. Everyone watched quietly while Jeno was deep in thought. He suddenly sprung back, sitting upright and placing his arms on the table, fingers clasped together in the most formal way possible.

“Only for the seniors.” Jeno scanned his eyes across the room, reading everyone’s expression that he couldn’t quite make out. Ten lets out a groan, slamming both hands palm down on the table. “Um hello? This party is for the freshmen for God’s sake. Why even allow alcohol when you’re only giving it to the seniors? No seniors will be there but us.” Ten rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation. “We can get drunk anytime.”

Jeno turned his head to his next targets, aka the rest of the council. “What’s your say on this matter?” The four members, Mark, Winwin, Sungchan and Yangyang exchanged looks with each other. Jeno squinted his eyes while watching them send telepathic messages among them. None chose to reply Jeno. And so Mark was the only one to speak for the rest, saying, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Ten stood up, pushing his chair so far back that it made contact with the wall, hands on his hips as he tried to supress his anger, Haechan doing the same while sitting down and dropping his head on the table. Jeno confidently rose from his chair, the loud sound of him closing shut the clipboard he had for the meeting. “That’s settles it. Meeting’s over.” Jeno announced with a very small, almost invisible smirk.

Ten and Haechan groaned and sulked in disappointment together while the rest began to pack up. Jeno made his way to the door with a cunning smile on his face. Just as he was about to grab the door handle, the door was already flung open for him. “Maybe I speak to Mr. Lee?” Jeno looked at the person standing in front of him. It was a woman. A young and healthy woman in her forties. It seemed like she had everything designer. Clothes, handbag, accessories.

“Which one are you referring to?” Haechan shouted from the back, making Jeno glance over his shoulder and wanting to roll his eyes but refrained himself from doing so in front of the woman. “Mr. Lee Jeno, of course.” Haechan lets out a loud and shameless ‘tsk’. Jeno cleared his throat, moving his body aside to give way for the woman. “Come in. Guys please exit quickly, thank you.” The woman walked in and took a seat. Jeno waited for the rest to float out of the meeting room and sat back down in his original spot.

“So who are you and why have you come to visit me?” Jeno asked politely, placing his clipboard back on the table and looking at the woman who sat two seats away from him. “I have an urgent matter to discuss.” She began, and Jeno was all ears. “I assume you’re aware that there’s going to be a new transferee.” Jeno glanced sideways and nodded, remembering that he’s been informed on the matter before the start of the school year.

“And what about it?” The woman sighed, leaning in as she stared at Jeno. Not knowing how to react, he simply stared back. “The one that’s transferring is my daughter. And I’ll be straight up with you. She’s not the best student to have around.” Jeno arched his brow in a questioning manner upon hearing the description from the apparent mother of the transferee. “She’s hard to handle. A delinquent, in other terms.”

Jeno didn’t know what to reply. He’d be asking, “So what’s this got to do with me?” But the woman already answered that mental question of his, saying, “As president I think you’re the most suitable person to take care of her.” Jeno blinked his eyes rapidly. Heaving a silent sigh, he licked his lower lip and looked to the table for a moment. “You want me to keep an eye on her?” Jeno asked, inferring from her previous comment.

The woman sucked in her lips and nodded firmly. “She’s been moving from college to college and she never seems to stay for longer than a semester. I’m hoping to stop this by having her be tamed.” Jeno placed his hands firmly on his thighs, leaning in as the side of his lips crept up into a small smirk. “What do I get out of this?” Ah, of course. The golden question. What could Jeno do? He was genuinely curious. And he was never one to do something if it didn’t benefit him in some way.

“I’ll pay you for it.” Jeno couldn’t even bat an eye as her words went in his ears and settled in his mind. He couldn’t help but gap his mouth open ever so slightly. He knew the woman was rich. He began to think about just how much is she willing to pay for such a job. “She’s rich so I could negotiate with her.” Jeno thought to himself, clearly already intrigued.

“How much?” The woman raised both her eyebrows, as if surprised that she’s been asked that question. “Two thousand every month. I’m willing to pay more if you do a good job and she doesn’t get into trouble for the first half of the semester.” Jeno chuckled for a second, nodding his head as he began to felt happy. Looks like he didn’t need to negotiate after all. But he also wondered if she’s paying him this much due to how hard the job could be. Either way, blinded by money, Jeno placed his palm firmly on the table and whispered, “Deal.” with much determination.

I was out at a restaurant. And though I knew I had fo attend college soon, I didn’t give two shits. I simply ordered a ribeye steak for dinner and enjoyed the luxuries of spending the money in my credit card away into thin air.

I was just finishing my last bite when my phone dinged. Curious, I flipped my phone screen side up since I haven’t looked at it the moment I stepped into the restaurant. The sight of the notification had my eyes rolling even before I opened it. “College of NCT?” I questioned, reading over the words sent from my mother. So that’s the new college I’m attending. I didn’t even have time to mentally prepare. “Thanks for telling me so late.” I muttered, turning off my phone and shoving it in my pocket and left the restaurant after making my payment.

No one was at home, as per usual. My parents usually working late every single day. It feels as if they’re never home. I got ready for bed, getting comfortable and letting my body sink into the silk sheets and fluffy blanket. I spent the night scrolling through Instagram stories. Just then, I pressed my thumb down on the screen, making it stop on one specific story that a follower of mine posted.

“Isn’t that the college I’m suppose to go to?” I asked myself, squinting my eyes to get a clear view of the picture. It was a group of girls, and behind them was the college crest. I smacked my lips, nodding in affirmation after I confirmed it. I got curious, spending more time to observe her next few stories. I tilted my head in awe, watching as she took a video of herself preparing some party somewhere on campus.

I texted a reply to her story asking, “What are you guys preparing for?” I rolled over so that I was laying on my stomach, shoulders to my ears as I waited for her reply. A reply popped up, making me instantly click on it. I gaped my mouth open, a mischievous chuckle escaping. “A party for the freshmen? Well I’m not a freshman but it’s still a party.” With a shrug I laid back down, turning off my phone as taking a mental note of when the party was so that I could have my fun.

I knew very well I had classes to get to before the party but I simply chose to skip. It’s only the start of the year anyways so I assumed that there wasn’t anything important for me to know, except for the party of course. It’s held on a Friday night, like all parties do. I decided to wear something casual, a sweater and wide legged jeans, something that doesn’t scream, “This girl is from a rich family.” I had to blend in, right?

While taking my necessities on the kitchen counter, my eyes slowly went to the cabinet where my parents stored their alcohol. I looked left and right, as if I was being watched, thinking if I should grab a bottle. But, with a happy giggle, I skipped on over and slide open the glass door, eyes glazing over the many bottles of different alcohols. Without giving it much thought, I grabbed the bottle that seemed to have the largest cotent and shoved it into my bag and went off.

I had to the take the train here, of course, again keeping up with my theme of not looking rich. The number of eyes I’d be receiving if I were to roll into their parking lot with my white lamborghini would have been countless. I took slow steps to the gate, eyes looking over the whole campus to get a glimpse of it. With a sigh, I said, perhaps too loudly, “It looks exactly the same as every college!” I glanced over my shoulder, a few eyes on me as they walked past but I shrugged and continued walking.

Entering the school, it was pretty easy having to know where the party was. I just had to follow the large crowd of youngsters. Loud chatters could be heard all around me. The more steps I took to the venue, the more I began to think about what was I even doing here. It’s a party, yes. But what was I doing here with freshmen? I shook my head as if clearing slate, wanting to take this outing as, “I should get a feel for the college anyways.”

I stepped in. It was an outdoor party, fairy lights dangling from tree to tree, making the area illuminated with an orange hue. There were circular white tables all over and equally spaced apart. I flashed an unimpressed expression, eyes drooping and body slightly slouched as I gaped my mouth open. “The fuck kind of party is this?” I questioned with a shake of my head, pinching my temples as I hear the most boring party music that being played through the speakers.

I made my way over to the pantry first thing, grabbing a plate and shoving whatever food I could till it was full. I grabbed an empty cup from the side and started to walk around for a place to sit. As I looked around, disappointed started to wash over me. The party felt too formal, but it also wasn’t since there were people jumping and dancing to whatever gross music the DJ chose to play.

I took out the bottle of alcohol, realising I had pulled out vodka. Either way, with a shrug of my shoulders, I opened the bottle and poured at least half into the red cup, sliding the bottle back in my bag discreetly. I leaned forward, elbows on the table letting it support my upper body as I took slow bites of whatever food I had on my plate. I bobbed my head slowly, trying to get a liking for the music being played but I groaned in despair. “Who even is the DJ. Whatever they’re playing sucks.” I turned my head to where the DJ was, he was banging his head so furiously and partying as if it’s the best song he’s ever played.

“Must be Lucas then.” I flinched and jumped around at the voice behind my back. It was a guy. I observed him up and down, he looked like any regular student, except for the fact that he’s way above average in the attractiveness scale. “And who might you be?” I questioned with a smile, unconsciously lifting up my cup and taking a sip.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, weight being placed on one leg as he leaned back slightly. “Lee Donghyuck. But I should be the one asking you that, right? You don’t look like a student here.” Donghyuck tilted his head to the side, a smile cracking on his lips. I huffed, placing the cup down roughly on the table. “Well, I’m about to be.” He squinted his eyes at me as if he knew something but tried to keep a neutral face.

“Can you tell this Lucas guy to play something better? This does not feel like a party at all.” Donghyuck scoffed at my comment, nodding his head with much agreement. “Right?! There isn’t even any alcohol.” He whined, shaking his shoulders from left to right and scrunching his face up like an unhappy baby. “Want some?” I asked, jerking my head down to the cup. He blinked his eyes rapidly, peeking into the drink. “You bought vodka? How’d you even know there wasn’t going to be drinks here?”

I chuckled in response, eyes staring at the drink for a moment before going back to meeting his gaze. “Could say I have my ways. But with the knowledge that it’s a freshmen party, it’s pretty clear that there won’t be any alcohol.” I wanted to gag at the way I spoke that. I was sounding too formal explaining something so simple. “Whoever planned this party can suck on toes.”

Donghyuck laughed out loud, leaning back and holding his stomach. “Oh God finally someone said it! Lee Jeno is in fact the most boring president there is!” He continuously banged his fists on the table, bursting with glee as he made fun of whoever Lee Jeno was. Donghyuck grabbed my cup and finished the entirety of the vodka, hissing as he swallowed. “Well I don’t know who you are but have fun. Don’t worry I’ll try to change the DJ.” With a flirtatious wink, he sauntered off, disappearing into the crowd in a matter of seconds.

I poured myself another half cup, downing it sip by sip and pouring again. The cycle went on and I already feel it kicking in, head beginning to spin ever so slightly as I even struggled to stand up. “Fuck.” I whispered, thinking about how drunk I already was as I lost track of how much I’ve downed in the past hour. I looked around, my vision blurred with little to no focus. Suddenly, the song changed, a huge drop was about to hit. I bobbed my head with a giggle, the music finally being something I could actually jam to.

I glanced down at my phone when the crowd settled down. Squinting my eyes, I realise that it was getting close to twelve in the morning. I shoved my phone in my bag and took wary steps, unstable each time I walked past a person and having to touch their shoulder for support. I stopped by a tree, panting as if I’ve run two kilometres to get here. I wasn’t feeling good at all. The world that was spinning in my head suddenly shuts down as my ears blocked out every noise in my surroundings, my vision getting worse and worse. Maybe I shouldn’t have bought the vodka.

I suddenly began coughing, my stomach starting to churn as I gagged, feeling as if I’m about to vomit any minute. I released my grip off the tree trunk, placing both hands in my knees as I hunched over, continuously coughing. I was about to collapse when I was suddenly being held up by my waist. “Woah you good there?” I didn’t know who it was, nor did I care. I let my body go weak, legs unable to support me no longer. “Hey what do you think of birds that get shot-” And just like that, it came out. The vomit, I mean. All the food I’ve eaten, the vodka. I realised I vomited on this person’s shirt, making him let go of me and taking steps back in shock. And before I could even hear them say anything, I passed out unconscious.

I winced in pain the moment I gained my consciousness. My body couldn’t move an inch and my head was banging, only making me place a hand on my head with little to no hope that that’ll help with the dizziness even the slightest bit. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, closing them back instantly as I was being blinded the lights of wherever I was at.

I opened back my eyes slightly, seeing a few figures standing around and looking down on me. I swallowed, trying to sit up straight but instantly failing, dropping my head back on the couch. The door was suddenly slammed opened, making me flinch at the sudden shock that flowed throughout my body.

“What’s such a big matter than I had to be called here?” A guy with a low voice half-shouted. He sounded extremely furious. Another guy came bursting in, going past the angry one and standing right in front of me. I narrowed my eyes, focusing on one random spot to get my vision to focus. And once I did, I was met with the sight of a bunch of men. All of them being ridiculously attractive.

“The fuck am I dreaming? Suddenly I’m dreaming.” I said with a giggle, putting my hands up in front of me and opening them up as if showing a rainbow. All of them kept silent till the angry one heaved an annoyed sigh. “Who even is she?” He asked. The one beside him groaned, placing a palm on his forehead. “Didn’t you read my text?! She literally vomited on my shirt!”

“And if you aren’t aware, she’s not even from our school!” I furrowed my eyebrows, his shouting making my head hurt even worse. “Bitch shut up you’re too loud.” I mumbled, rolling my eyes and waving a lazy hand to no specific person. He scoffed and leaned forward as if wanting to throw a punch but was quickly held back.

I made eye contact with every one of them. They were looking right back, simply staring as if they don’t know what to do. “So you’re saying she crashed here, Ten?” Another person questioned. “Well she was drunk.” He replied, folding his arms and huffing. I noticed how the angry one kept looking at me. He had his eyes squinted and staring meticulously.

Jeno couldn’t help but try and put the pieces together. Someone that wasn’t from his school apparently crashed their freshmen party and she said she’s about to be part of the school. It became obvious to Jeno that she could be the woman’s daughter. He wasn’t told when she would start attending since he had forgotten to ask about that crucial information, but it seemed like he didn’t have to. However, being way too tired to handle such a problem...

“Why did you even bring her here? Send her out. If the higher ups find out, I’m dead, not you idiots. This is why I didn’t want to allow alcohol in the first place.” He growled, voice getting lower than before and sending a shiver down my spine. And he left the room as quickly as he got in. Everyone let out sighs of relief the moment he did, as if his presence were choking them to death. “What did he even mean by that? It’s not like she knew about the no alcohol rule.” One grumbled. “Because she’s not suppose to be here in the first place!”

“Can you stand?” One of them held their hand out. I grabbed it as they helped to pull me up, my back instantly slouching with bended knees to get my balance. “S-Should one of us send you home or?” He looked to the others, silently asking for either their help or their opinion. One of them shrugged and folded his arms. “Wait!” The guy I vomited on shouted.

“Did you say you aren’t from here but will he attending soon?” He leaned close to my face, to which I responded with a lean back. I blinked my eyes rapidly and nodded my head slowly, not sure of where he’s getting at. He immediately snapped his fingers as his mouth gaped open, so as his eyes as if a lightbulb appeared and glowed over his head. “You’re the transferee, aren’t you?!”

“What are you talking about, Ten?”

“Haechan I thought you knew about this? About the new student that’s transferring.” The person, now I remembered to be the Donghyuck I had a small conversation earlier, widened his eyes, flickering them from me to Ten. “Jeno didn’t tell me anything.” Ten groaned and shook his head. “Some vice president you are.” “Maybe Jeno doesn’t even know.”

“Winwin’s right. You can’t trust Ten. Who knows where he got this information.” “Twitter obviously.”“I’ll literally throw you off a building, Sungchan.”

Though I was still feeling a little sick in the stomach and head, it didn’t take me long to figure out what they’re talking about. Apparently Haechan is the vice president while I assumed this Jeno guy to be the president, with information from my previous chat Donghyuck, which now I knew to be Haechan. “Can I just sleep somewhere?” I croaked out, smacking my dried lips and running a hand through my hair. “I’ll do it.” The one that held my arm said, lifting his free hand up lazily. “Let’s go.”

I was taken to another room, which seemed to be a dorm. His room didn’t seem to look like a huge mess, but it wasn’t the cleanest either. He guided me through the door and settled me down on his bed. He went back to close the door and sat down on the floor, motioning his hand to the bed and saying, “You can sleep on my bed.” to which I responded with immediately plopping my body down and closing my eyes.

I was about to drift off to sleep when he suddenly cleared his throat, as if wanting to get my attention. I opened my eyes, seeing him sitting in front of me with his legs crossed and knees pulled to his chest. “Is it true that you’re the transferee Ten was talking about?” With a sigh, I nodded my head. “Why didn’t you come for your classes this week then?” Mark asked. “I’m lazy?” I replied with a light chuckle. “Honestly I don’t care. I just go when I feel like it.” I added on, shrugging. He pursed his lips into a thin line. “What course you taking?” “Biomedical science.”

“I’m Mark, by the way.” He introduced himself suddenly with a soft smile. I reciprocated it. “_____.” He looked around his room, seeming to be in thought. “Don’t worry about whatever just happened. We can settle it tomorrow.” He turned around, reaching his hand out to pull on a string that turned off the lamp light that was on when we stepped in. With that, I closed my eyes, instantly falling asleep the moment I did.

The next day, I was woken by the sunlight hitting my face, the windows and curtains that were closed last night now fully opened and lighting up the room. I took in my surroundings, spotting Mark sleeping on the floor, curled up with no pillows to hug or support his head. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and bending doen to tap Mark on the shoulder. “Good morning...?” I whispered.

I mentally chuckled to myself, thinking how I even ended up in such a situation. I came to a freshmen party, got drunk, got myself into trouble with a group of men I don’t even know. And now I was waking up in a dorm of a guy. He has still yet to wake up, so I shook his shoulder again, a little rougher this time. “Wake up.” I said, raising my voice slightly. I turned to my phone which was peeking from underneath the pillow to check the time. 10:05AM.

“Hey.” I shot my head back to Mark, who slowly got up with a grunt. He slouched his body forward and ruffled his messy hair vigorously. “Wait what time is it?” Mark asked, looking around frantically and patting his sweatpants for what I assumed to be his phone. “Chill it’s 10:05. I mean, unless you have morning classes.”

Mark placed a hand on his chest, exhaling slowly in relief. “No I don’t. Mine starts at one.” I clicked my tongue and nodded my head, taking in the irrelevant information. My phone dinged again, and it was from my mother. “Great. My mom found out about last night. How did she even know? I blocked her from my socials. And since when did she even care about what I do?” I thought to myself out loud, making Mark look at me and listening. “Sounds like you don’t have a good mother.” He commented. I scoffed at his words. “Well whatever you’re thinking just times that by a hundred.” Mark chuckled, standing up on his feet. 

Mark looked down on his phone, his eyes scanning down the screen quickly before he lifted his eyes up to me. “Get ready by twelve. I just got told to send you to Jeno.” He shoved his phone into his sweatpants, wanting to walk away but he stopped when I shouted out his name, turning around sharply and humming in question. 

“Is Jeno someone important...?” I asked, sounding somewhat scared. Mark chuckled lowly, scaring me even more like whatever words that were about to come out of his mouth would send me away from this school. “He’s... You could say an intimidating president of the student council. Like those bosses that tops everyone.” Mark described him carefully, the tone of admiration shining through slightly and thinking deep to find what other things about Jeno he could say. 

“But he’s fine when you actually know him. He just puts on his tense nature during meetings, which scares most of our council members only during those meetings. For your information, he was the one that came in the room we were at yesterday looking pissed and angry.”

I looked up, trying to recall last night’s disaster. I did refer to him as “angry guy” in my mind, but I never bothered to take a close look at him and remember how he looked. “Should I be worried? “Depends on how you act when you’re talking to him.” Mark replied quickly and turned around to walk away into the bathroom. 

I laid back on my bed, looking through my socials while waiting for him to finish showering. He came out after about ten minutes, now wearing jeans and a white shirt. Mark jerked his head to the bathroom, holding up the small towel he came out with and using it to dry his hair. I raised both my eyebrows and sat up, walking into the bathroom.

While showering I kept thinking about Jeno. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need to be scared, he didn’t sound scary at all. From the way Mark described him, I assumed he was like those “Hard Outer but Soft Inner” type of guy, which trust me I have met plenty of times. How could Jeno be any different? I had to wear the same clothes, which I found to be slightly uncomfortable but I just had to live with it till I move into the dorms. 

I followed behind Mark as he took me to where Jeno wanted to meet me. Mark gave a pat on the shoulder, leaning in and whispering a “Goodluck.” when we ended up in front of the door. As I heard Mark’s footsteps walking away and eventually disappearing, I looked up at the sign on the door. “Student council.” I clicked my tongue, shrugging and going in without giving much thought. 

The moment I stepped foot into the room, I felt it. I felt what Mark meant by his aura scaring the council members. The room was overpowered by the energy Jeno was radiating. I stared at him, not moving an inch. He didn’t move as well, simply sitting casually as his eyes met mine. It sent chills down my spine, just his stare alone. It felt as if I was being stripped with him scrutinizing my every physical detail. “Hey.” Jeno greeted. Surprisingly, it sounded light and normal. But who knows? It could just be for this one greeting. 

I idled my way to the chairs, looking around I recognised this room. It was the one I woke up in last night when I was being surrounded by a whole gang. I slowly pulled out the chair and took the seat right next to him. I didn’t know I could be this intimidated. No words were yet to be said, and with each second that passed by, I wished that I could just melt and disappear from this place. 

“I didn’t call you here to interrogate you about what happened last night. Though I found it odd how you came waltzing into the freshmen party that you weren’t invited to and caused yourself trouble.” Jeno leaned forward against the table, forearms up with his fingers interlocked and parallel to the table. I furrowed my eyebrows, forehead creased. I gulped, allowing myself some leeway from my tensed up posture to slouch my body into the seat. “Uh so do you need me to explain or-”

“No. I just need you to move into the dorm at building A, level five, dorm number fifty six tomorrow and start coming for class. From what I know, you skipped every single one this week. I don’t think that a good way to start the year, don’t you agree?” I didn’t quite know what to pick up from the way he was talking. It sounded professional, yet sending me a mental message that said, “I didn’t want to be here but oh look.” He could even sound like the leader of a wolf pack, if wolves could ever talk.

I stared into his dark, soulless eyes. I could see the annoyance in there like it’s lodged in his pupils. But he tried to keep it hidden with neutral expression. “I might not do the latter.” I said with a bob of my shoulders, as if I did not give a single care for the world, which to some extend, was true. “In fact I could pack my shit up and fly to London tonight.” 

“Too bad. I don’t think that’ll be happening. Doing background research, I got to know that we’re taking the same course. And if I don’t see you in class next Monday, I can easily call backup and drag you into class.” Jeno placed a finger upright on the table, leaning in as his eyes widened and narrowed down on me, making him the only thing in my focus and preventing me from breaking our gaze. 

The more I stared at him, the more my eyes trailed to not just his eyes that looked like a puppy’s, but his other features, from his hair to his nose and to his lips, which were all in perfect proportion within a beautifully sculptured face structure. I had to admit, he was attractive, more attractive than other guys I’ve been in contact with, he was however more to the cuter side. I wondered how I even passed such a face last night. But his face did not match his attitude at all. He had the look of someone bubbly and just simply adorable, not whatever he’s been radiating.

“Fuck what are you? My bodyguard or something? I do what I want.” I said, pushing the thought of his attractiveness out of my mind. The corner of his lips lifted up slightly. “Not while you’re here.” I leaned back, copying his expression as I scoffed in amusement. “Yeah sure.” I waved my hands in the air as if wanting to spread my sarcasm throughout the room. “If there isn’t anything else to discuss...” I trailed off, pushing my chair back freely and standing up, taking slow and relaxed strides to the door. I opened it and went out, just when the door was about to close behind me, Jeno shouted, “Monday, ten am!” the door slamming shut after. 

I let out a ‘tsk’ and rolled my eyes, something I wasn’t able to do moments ago. “Drag me there, Mr. Lee Jeno.” I grumbled under my breath, folding my arms and making my way off campus, taking out my phone as I called my helper to get all my stuff moved to my designated dorm while I thought about what to eat for lunch. 

I spent the weekend locked up in the dorm, to which I realised was much smaller than my room back home. But what did I expect anyways? I had to limit the things I had to bring here by at least a quarter, which led me to having a headache since I had to prioritize what I needed. I was simply online shopping, mostly for clothes and books. I already had my dorm tidied up too. I was just about to hit the confirm order button when it suddenly didn’t work. I keyed in my credit card information again, the same bolded in red error sign popping up on my computer. I huffed loudly, knowing exactly why this happened. 

“Why did you deactivate my credit card?” I asked angrily the moment my mother picked up the phone. She gave me a long pause, to which fueled my anger more the longer she kept silent. “You’ve been spending too much money when you’re suppose to be concentrating in school.” I squinted my eyes which are still on the computer. I swung my chair around and away from the computer, crossing my legs as I let my free hand dangle off the arm rest. “What does money have to do with me concentrating in school?”

“I’m saying it’s a distraction and I’m not having you do anything that’ll keep you distracted from your studies.” And just like that, she hung up. I brought my phone back down from my ear, letting it drop on my lap as I leaned my head back, letting out an exaggerated groan. “How am I suppose to buy lunch without my card?” I suddenly asked myself, remembering the fact that I went cashless instantly when I got my card. I turned my chair back to my study table and reached my hand out for my wallet. I opened it quickly, placing my hand above my head at the sight. “Barely five dollars? Shit...” 

I smacked my lips, looking around the room as I thought about what to do to solve this matter. Did my mom not take into consideration that I could be starving to death? I might as well do so and die of starvation. “What the hell are my options?” I questioned myself out loud. I was suddenly in a trance, my mind making calculations all over as I tried to lay out all the possible things I could do. Yes, I was this serious since I was that desperate for food right at that moment. I cursed, jumping off my chair and sliding my phone into the pocket of my hoodie and storming out of the door.

I paused in front of the door, the same sign on it sending my migraines if I were to look at it for any longer. I shook my head and burst the door open. To my surprise and luck, Jeno was sitting at the table, head tilted down and not giving a single reaction to my entrance. Silence filled the room for a moment till he spoke out, “Who are you to think you can come walking in here without knocking?” As if the world was put on slow motion, Jeno lifted his eyes off the table and to me, his head not moving at all as he pierced his gaze into mine like a sharp blade. 

“Got a little situation for you.” I placed emphasis on the word ‘little’ to lighten the mood but I gave myself a mental slap afterwards, thinking that I gave off an impression to make it seem like it was a bigger problem than I intended it to be. But to be fair, it was a big problem. It was a food problem for God’s sake.

Jeno didn’t give me a reply, still staring at me, stern and fixated on me like he’d turn me to stone. “Apparently my mom deactivated my credit card and now I have zero money on me and I’m hungry.” Jeno raised an eyebrow at the matter, giving off the “So what?” kind of vibes which is absolutely not welcoming at all. 

“And?” Jeno let out, his eyes now back on the table as he began to write something down. I sighed, glancing sideways as I thought about how much I was hating this. The atmosphere, the air that circulated the room could suffocate me till I stopped breathing, it was way too tense for my liking. “Yeah well uh you’re the only person I know so yes I’m asking you for money. I want my lunch.” I blurted out quickly, wanting to get it out there in his face. Jeno released his grip on his pen midair, letting it fall to the table. He shot is eyes up to be like rubber bands, a scrutinized expression painted on his face. “Seriously? That’s what you came here for? You could have asked anyone.”

Jeno regretted letting that out. He remembered that his job was to take care of this girl, as much as he was annoyed at the fact that he was burdened with such a matter, he had his mind set on the money, letting that being the reason for him to put up with this and not burst his head off from the annoyance he keeps getting whenever she showed up. 

“Fine. But get your mother to settle this soon. And you’re paying me back after.” Jeno reached for his phone out of his back pocket, and while he scrolled his thumb down the screen, his eyes went back to me, making me tense my body up again. “Sit down?” Jeno questioned, but it was more of a demand. I quickly cleared my throat, glancing sideways before speeding up to take a seat at the exact some spot as yesterday. 

We ordered take out and when it arrived, we were eating in pure silence, only the sounds of us munching and chewing to be heard. I watched as Jeno did his work while he ate, pen in one hand, hamburger on the other. The hamburger was close to his mouth as he kept taking a bite even though he has yet to swallow whatever’s left, resulting in his cheeks puffing up and chewing with his mouth full. 

“What work you doing?” I asked out of curiosity, leaning in and peeking at the papers. It didn’t take me long to notice that it was related to the course I’m taking. Jen sighed, only speaking once he was done with his bite. “Assignments. You wouldn’t know since you have yet to attend class.” He mentioned it again, his words that were repeated sounding more harsh than it did before like he’s drilling it in my brain and wanting to pressure me. 

“Jeez...” I mumbled, purposely making it loud for him to hear as I watch him roll his eyes in annoyance, which made him look cute if we’re being honest. “Then why do it in the student council room when you can just do it at your dorm?” I asked another question, sounding like those annoying children that just keeps throwing questions at you. And if you were short tempered, you’d explode trying to talk to them. “Because I have president duties to take care of as well.” Jeno replied in the most monotone voice ever. “Will you actually drag me to class if I chose not to go?”

“I don’t care if you have the will to go or not. I’ll drag your brain and body to the lecture hall if I needed to.” Jeno was quick to reply, I could tell he was already ticked off by me. I finished my drink, the sound that came from sucking air through the straw of an empty cup now filling the room. “If you don’t know, you have quite the reputation, especially on Twitter. If you don’t want to blow up with an image of me forcing you into class, I suggest you go willingly.” Jeno added on, clicking his pen and placing it down on the table as he leaned into his chair, a satisfied look in his eyes as he stared at his work. 

“Fine. I’ll go. If you feed me lunch every day we have class.” Jeno scoffed at my comment, his tongue glazing over his upper teeth as he eyed me up and down. “You are aware that you are paying back for the food I buy just so you’ll attend class, right?” I puckered my lips, thinking it over. “Then my decision to go is still on hold.” I flashed a cheeky eye smile at him, giggling softly as I played around with the empty cup in my hand. Jeno squinted his eyes on me, shaking his head afterwards. “You can go once you’re finished. And take the trash out when you do.” Jeno jerked his chin up to the door. He was well aware that I was done with my food, I guess he wanted me out as quickly as possible, that I could infer. 

I rose up from my seat and grabbed the plastic bags, exiting the room and closing the door behind me. While I went to the trashcan, I thought about how I was actually considering to go to class, thinking about how I could see this emotionless guy with pent up anger burst into flames if I tried to annoy him more. But in the end, it all came down to whether I would have enough energy to leave my bed in the morning.

I ended up sleeping very late that day, close to four in the morning actually. Spending those hours with reading and also falling down the rabbit hole of Youtube’s late night algorithm because once you start, it’ll never end. Despite the late hour that I fell asleep, I was still able to wake up before ten. I realised it was eight, making me roll in my bed and groaning in despair. I kept thinking to myself how did I even wake up this early and why? For one, I wished that I overslept so I wouldn’t have to attend class. But then I remembered the huge problem I had to deal with if I chose to do so.

After scrolling through my socials for a bit, I rolled out of bed, practically falling to the floor right affer since I have yet to gather any energy for my tired body and dragged my feet unwillingly to the bathroom to get ready. I didn’t know what to bring for class. I stared at the stack of books on my study table while I had my bag wide open after I shoved my other necessities in. I scratched my head. “Why do I do this?” I muttered to myself and simply grabbed the book at the top of the stack and went out.

Knowing which lecture hall to get to thanks to my mother informing me way before I even step foot into college, it was easy for me to find it and head in. There weren’t many people, I’d assume about ten scattered throughout the seats. I shrugged and planned to seat somewhere close to the back, however I ended up sitting at the second last row. I noticed how I had plenty of time before class but not enough for me to do anything outside. Not knowing what to do, I shoved in my earpiece into my ears and listened to music, opening the first page of the textbook I bought and making small doodles on the cover page.

As if on cue, the moment I looked up from the textbook, my hand still on it with my pencil just hovering, Jeno walked in. And it’s as if the whole hall turned into a runway. All the lights in the room were switched off, with one light to shine on him and only him. The light above hovered over him as he went up the flight of stairs.

To my surprise, he was wearing a green tropical button up, tucked into his black jeans along with black sneakers. All of it made his seemingly perfect body proportion prominent. His black hair that seemed to capture all the light was expertly slicked back with just a few strands falling down his forehead. Just as he walked past my row of seats, his eyes glanced to mine, and for a moment time stopped, he was frozen mid-walk as we made eye contact. I hate to admit it but, he did look effortlessly stunning.

I blinked my eyes rapidly, shaking my head to take myself back to reality. I turned my head to the back, Jeno was already sitting right behind me. He exhaled sharply while removing his bag off his shoulder. He mouthed something that I couldn’t make out since my music was overpowering every sound in the world. I widened my eyes and took one side off, asking, “What did you say?”

“Congratulations on coming.” Jeno said in the most non-celebratory tone ever. I slide my back down the seat, legs extending as I resumed my doodle of an eye. I could hear Jeno shuffling in his seat as he tried to take out whatever he needed for class. “We aren’t using that textbook, by the way.” I snapped my head back to face him. “Seriously?” Jeno scoffed and folded his arms, shoulders relaxed as he leaned back. “That textbook contains chapters five to ten. We’re only at chapter one, which is in the book before.” Jeno tilted his head to one side, a cunning and smile of mischief forming on his face. “Do you not bother knowing beforehand what the hell you’re learning this semester?”

I shook my head confidently at his question that I assumed wasn’t supposed to have a reply. “Never bothered.” I simply said. The lecturer walked in and class started. For the whole two hours, I was on my phone, reading, drawing, whatever the professor has said went in one ear and out the other. But I did try to take in some information, though I knew nothing about what’s been going on.

After class, I waited for everyone to leave, not wanting to handle the fact that I need to squeeze my way through everyone to get out the door. I was about to stand up when a hand was placed firmly on my table, which made me stop in my actions to look up, seeing it was Jeno. “What the hell-”

“Did you understand anything that he went through?” Jeno jerked his head to be back where the professor was still there packing his stuff. I sat back down, hand lifted up to swirl it around carefree. “Eh here and there. Some things I knew from last year.” I said with a shrug. Jeno nodded his head with sucked lips. “I’m surprised you even bothered listening. All I saw you do was using your phone and drawing.” I chuckled. “I chose to do Biomedical for a reason.”

“Anyways, you need to catch up on whatever you missed since we have a mini quiz that’s coming soon and I’m well aware that you only know five percent of whatever’s going to be tested.” I gaped my mouth open in pure shock with protuberant eyes. “Mini quiz?! It’s only January!” I raised my voice slightly, being wary as I waited for the professor to walk out.

“We have a quiz at the end of every month.” My mouth was hung open as this point, jaw to the floor as I blinked my eyes rapidly after. “None of the colleges I’ve been to even do that!” I was now able to shout, echos being followed up with it as it spreads throughout the hall. “Well now you know.” Jeno retorted back with a halfhearted smile.

“So what do I go to the council room or something?” I questioned with raised brows. Jeno suddenly slammed a sticky note on my table, I glanced down at it before looking back at him. “Come to this address at six. I’ll teach you from there. And bring the right textbook.” Just like that, he turned around sharply and walked out of the hall, though it didn’t look like a dramatic exit, to me it was.

I peeled the sticky note off my table, inspecting it closely as I read the address that Jeno wrote in such a neat handwriting, but it made sense for him to write like that. I could tell from his character. Curious, I decided to search it up while I made my way back to the dorm. Sliding the sticky note into my pocket, I read whatever was on the screen the moment Google finished loading.

“Wait it’s a tutoring centre?” I tilted my head a few degress as the name of the address I keyed in was shown on screen. I began to wonder why he wanted to teach me at a tuition centre when I could simply go to his dorm, or the council room. Though I was thinking long and hard about it, the moment I entered my dorm, it completely went out my mind and plopped myself onto my bed, getting comfortable as I fell asleep instantly when I closed my eyes.

It has always been a routine of mine to take an afternoon nap. I did wake up at three but went back to sleep since I felt that it was too early for me to get up. I knew that the tutoring centre was within walking distance so I didn’t have to rush either. I woke up for the second time, seeing that it was five fifteen. Though I knew I had time, I decided to head out and make a trip to Starbucks before I went there.

I got my drink and I was able to arrive at the centre right on time. When I entered, I was completely clueless, I didn’t know where Jeno was and all I could see were rooms after rooms. I went up to the font desk where there was a woman sitting down. “Um hi can I know where Lee Jeno is?” She flashed a warm smile and motioned her hand toward the hallway. “Right down there. Just find room twenty four.” I downshifted my head as a way to say thank you and followed the direction of her hand.

I looked left and right, trying to find the room number. I finally spotted it, walking up and peeking my head at the window on the door that gave me view on the inside. What I saw shocked me. The room was filled with kids, sitting down and concentrating on their own work while Jeno was at the front of the room, with a boy next to him.

I knocked on the door and walked in, never really thought about waiting for him to say, “Come in.” The kids has their heads turned to me for only a moment before going back to their work, not giving me my entrance much thought. “You guys can pack up and leave now! Don’t study too hard and make sure you rest, okay?”

“Yes, Jeno!” With that, the room got noisy with the kids talking to each other while they packed their bags. I went deeper into the room the give them space to leave. It was now only Jeno the kid next to Jeno that has yet to leave. I couldn’t help but get close to them to see what they were doing.

I gaped my mouth in awe, realising that Jeno was teaching the young boy. Jeno had his arm around the boy’s shoulder, having to be on his knees to meet the height of the boy while he bent his back forward to put his face next to his. The boy was extremely attentive while Jeno gave out clear explanations. I noticed a few things about Jeno while I was watching this. One, he’s nothing like how he is in college. He seemed bright and nice, gentle with the kids. Two, he’s extremely smart. Of course he would be. He’s working at a tutoring centre teaching kids. Three, I saw him smile for the first time.

Jeno helped the boy pack his bag and when he was about to leave, he turned around, waving his hand happily to Jeno. Jeno did the same, and when I turned my head from the boy to him, he had such a big smile, a smile to wide that his eyes formed a thin line. His smiling face resembled so much of a puppy’s. It shocked me to see this side of him, a completely new one that seemed to only be reserved within these walls. “Bye bye!” The boy squealed, closing the door behind him.

Jeno walked back to the front seat, taking out the textbook as well as his stationery. He looked up to me. “Aren’t you going to sit down?” And Jeno was back to being his usual self, turning to stone real quick as if none of his cheerfulness happened moments ago with the kids. I placed my coffee on the table and sat next to him. “You’re working here?” I asked very slowly, almost in a “I refuse to believe this is true” tone.

He nodded his head in response. “Part time. They let me use the room after my shift so I usually study here.” Jeno, despite being tall and having his knees to his chest while sitting on the kid sized chair, seemed comfortable and he pulled it in to get closer to the table. Jeno began teaching me and as expected, he thought me well, better than the professor actually. He sounded quite lively, again being different from his regular stoned nature as he had an aura that every kid would love their teachers to have. “So do you get it now?”

“No.” “Are you fucking serious?” “Yes.”

Jeno was instantly frustrated. He suddenly took his bag from the side, taking out packets of what seemed to be gummy bears and other types of jellies and throwing his bag back down. He opened a packet furiously and began eating at such a fast rate. “What are you doing?” I asked, eyes widening as I watch him plop one gummy bear into his mouth at a time. “Stress eating, what do you think?” Jeno growled with a roll of his eyes. I brought my head forward, mouth closed and not knowing what to say.

Worried, I quickly let out a, “Oh my God stop I was joking. I heard everything you say! Stop the...” I said while swirling my hand in front of him. “Stress eating.” I finished my sentence. Jeno took in a deep breath and slammed the already finished packet on the table. His eyes trailed from the packet and to me very slowly. “I would’ve killed you if you actually wasted two hours of my time.” Jeno said lowly, his voice never failed to make me shiver as if it sent ice cold water down my body.

“Can I have one...” I asked, not being considerate about the fact that I sent Jeno on a stress eating spree seconds ago. “No.” He quickly replied, and I couldn’t help but frown, looking down on the table. He suddenly slid a packet in front of me, making me mutter, “Thanks.” while the two of us ate in silence after.

We lost track of time, and though the air that circulated us was silent most of the time, we did have chats here and there in attemps to fill in the awkward gaps. I suddenly remembered something, making me let out an “Ah” to which Jeno responded with a hum in question. I took out my wallet and slid out the cash that I took out before coming here. “For yesterday’s lunch.” I muttered. Jeno took the money without saying a word, putting it in his wallet and placing it on the table next to him. “When’s our next class?”

Jeno looked up thoughtfully before answering. “Thursday.” He replied. “Do you have anything to do before then?” Jeno clicked his tongue, nodding. “Of course I do. I need to take care of admin matters, and work.” Jeno talked as if he had a lot on his plate, to which I can clearly see. If he wasn’t studying, he’d be teaching. If he’s not doing either, he still had duties to fulfill as the president.

“Can I follow you around then?” Jeno gave me an unimpressed look. “You could be studying.” I groaned, letting my head fall to the table with my arms below for support. “Can I call you if I don’t know anything?” I questioned, shooting my head up to look at him, who had been staring at me since long ago.

“Why would you need to when I already laid it all out for you just now? Unless you weren’t listening.” Jeno slowly opened another packet of gummies. He was probably on his fifth one at this point. “I still need your number? You’re the only person I know in our course.” I said with a frown, which unconsciously turned into a pout. Jeno arched a brow at me. “I know your number. I’ll just text you later.” I hummed in response, nodding and placing my chin on the palm of my hand as I shoved gummy after gummy into my mouth.

The first quiz of the year was coming in two days. And if we’re being honest, I didn’t do any studying for it at all. The last time I concentrated on something was the time Jeno thought me for those two hours. I got home that night and looked through the notes I’ve taken down but that was the last time I saw it. I’m assuming it’s somewhere in my bag, but I was too lazy to search for it.

I laid down on my bed, boredom being the only thing I’ve been feeling these days as for one, my mother’s keeping track of my spendings which means that I can’t simply go out and do whatever I want, though I did went to an ice cream shop that sold an overly priced ice cream that I wanted to try out. I was disappointed that it didn’t live up to the hype I saw on Instagram. And for two, I had nothing to do. Sure, I had the money. But nowhere to go.

I scrolled through my contacts, which weren’t many to begin with since I wasn’t able to make friends from the constant transfers of schools. I then stopped on Jeno’s. I went over to Whatsapp where he sent a “Hey.” The night after the tutoring session. I replied back but he left me on read never bothered replying still, to which I muttered, “Rude.” as I looked at the two blue ticks beside my last text.

I decided to text him, asking “You free?” I checked his last seen. He was online two minutes ago. Surely, he’d get my notification. Luckily he did, he went online and blue ticked my text. As I watch the words “Typing...” just below his name, my heart starting beating faster ever so slightly for some reason. Why was I even getting nervous?

“Yeah. Why?” I could already hear his monotone voice that read those two words for me in my head. I was quick to reply with a, “Help me study for the quiz on Thursday.” He took about ten minutes to reply. “No. I taught you everything already.” I scrunched up my face at his reaction. What answer was I even thinking? I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

I never met Jeno after that one day. He came in and out of classes as if I was invisible, simply carrying on with whatever he’s been doing before I came here. Though I felt quite lonely, how could I blame him? I’d be too annoying for him to even tolerate.

“Please!” I texted, purposely sounding desperate. “Or else I’m skipping and I don’t have to take the test.” I giggled like a child that stole candy from her friend, wanting to see if I made an impression on him through text. Jeno replied so fast, making me laugh out loud. “Do you not care about your grades? It’s the first quiz and you’re already skipping. Do you want my hardwork of teaching you go to waste?” He sounded mad as I read that, oh he was definitely mad.

I quickly texted a reply. “Then teach me.” I sent a wink emoji after. Seconds later, he said, “Library, twelve am. Gtg, got a meeting.” I laughed to myself, nodding my head while I placed my phone screen down beside my pillow while I reach for my book from the study table to resume my day reading like how I’ve wasted the rest of my days.

It was late into the night. And at this time of the day, I wouldn’t actually have the brain power to even study. But I guess that Jeno was way too busy that he was only free. I was beginning to feel bad for calling him over to the library this late. Some students were still studying though. The library was dark with only the light at their table switched on, making the whole place just barely lit. I sat down at a random spot. I didn’t bother to bring my textbook since I had everything I needed to know in my notebook.

I heard the door open, and came walking in was Jeno. His outfit instantly caught my eye. This late into the night and he was wearing a loose baby pink suit, baggy blazer and dress pants. His hair that I assumed to be slicked back now all messy and in disarray. He scanned his eyes over the library and instantly spotted me, our eyes locking the whole way as he came to sit down.

“Thank for inviting me this late.” Jeno whispered, though his sarcasm was screaming loudly through his words. I took a moment to simply look at him. He looked tired, worn out. He ruffled his hair, nothing to give it support no longer as he tried to tame the messiness even the slightest bit. He ran a hand down his face as he exhaled. “So.” Jeno started, wasting no time.

Two of us sighed in unison, leaning back into our seats while I picked my phone up from the side to check the time. “One thirty. That’s not too bad.” I said with a shrug. Jeno was scratching the crown of his head, closing his eyes. I couldn’t help but had my eyes superglued to him this whole time. Something about “tired Jeno” just hit different.

“Did you do this on purpose?” Jeno suddenly asked, eyes flying open and darting it down to me. I leaned back, hands in the air swiftly in defence. “Maybe. But! I genuinely needed help in concentrating.” I raised both brows, my lips forming an upside down smile. “So what you can only concentrate when you’re with me?” Jeno questioned again, his voice making it seem like he was putting me on interrogation.

I bobbed my shoulders. “Perhaps so.” “Quick of you to assume that when it’s only been one month.” Jeno said with a smile that didn’t seem like a happy one but rather mischievous and cold. “What have you been doing the whole day wearing... that.” I asked, pointing to the suit he’s still wearing. It was only now that I noticed how he had the first three buttons of his white botton up opened, exposing his skin with his collarbone peeking out ever so slightly. I guess it had been covered by the blazer this whole time.

“Meetings. Haechan wanted us to start dressing formally for who knows what reason. Trying to act like we’re office workers or some shit when he can’t even handle being a vice.” Jeno complained, pressing the side of his hand to his eyebrows to shield his eyes and sighing. “You look fashionable so I guess it’s not all that bad.” I encourage with a nervous chuckle.

“At least we got through whatever we need to know today. We can spend the rest of the day doing nothing.” I blinked my widened eyes rapidly at him. “You’re free tomorrow?” Jeno nodded after pursing his lips into a thin line. “That’s rare.” I said, as if I knew him more than a month.

I went into the hall feeling confident about taking the quiz. To be honest, the topic wasn’t that hard. I am in fact smart, it’s just that I never bothered about my grades and reputation so I laid it off most of the time, like those students who study the day before the exam yet still achieve the highest of marks.

I was waiting for the professor to come in when Jeno came strolling in, the door flung open and I couldn’t believe what’s in my vision. Jeno dyed his hair, and not just any colour, he dyed it a bright baby blue. He stood out so much he was sticking out like a sore thumb. To add on, he wore a blue blazer with jeans to match his hair. He doesn’t even look like he’s taking a quiz today.

Just like everyone else in the hall, I had my eyes on him while he made his way to take his usual seat right behind me. And when he plopped down on his seat, I gaped my mouth extra wide in front of him and scoffed, my eyes trailing up to his hair. “I can’t believe this. You dyed your such in such a colour!” I shouted, maybe too loudly.

Jeno tilted his head downwards and constantly ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it and combing it, going back and forth with the two motions. “Why did you even-” “Tell you later. He’s here.” Jeno jerked his chin to the bottom of the hall when the professor came in. We did the quiz and resumed with the lecture. Luckily for me, I bought the right textbook this time as was able to follow up with the professor. We ended class as I instantly turned around to look at Jeno, still shocked at his drastic change in hair colour, but also impressed by how good it looked on him.

I noticed how most of the girls kept turning their heads to Jeno while they make their way out of the hall, constant whispers and mutters filled the room till everyone got out. “Mm you seem to be popular.” I said, placing my stationary into my bag. Jeno was packing up as well, standing up with a sigh that lasted three days.

“So why did you decide to suddenly dye your hair?” I asked as I closely followed next to Jeno while we went down the flight of stairs. “Are you like those girls on TikTok who dye their hair when they’re stressed out?” I added on, laughing softly after as I shifted all my hair to fall on my right shoulder.

“What? No. I had a party with the council last night. I was dared to dye my hair. They picked the colour.” Jeno said out. “Congratulations, by the way.” I tilted my head up to him, an eyebrow raised. “Why?”

“Because you didn’t do anything to get in trouble this month, excluding the freshmen party incident, as well as annoying me practically every time we meet.” I laughed, nudging him on the shoulder to make him look at me since he’s had his face looking forward the whole time on our way back to the dorms.

“At least I annoy you in a good way.” I said after Jeno looked down and locked eyes with me for a brief moment. I couldn’t help but notice how he smiled ever so softly before he broke away our gaze, a smile so small ot was almost invisible but I still saw it either way.

Jeno and I had this system of having me coming over to the tutoring centre for us to simply go over whatever we were taught that week. Surprisingly, but also not so, I did well on the quiz. Jeno and I continued to have these meetups. And though I thought it was only for studying purposes, I realised how I was focused, not because I had to study, but the fact that Jeno looked breathtaking almost everyday.

Generally, I’d be skipping and dodging every attempt from my mother forcing me to focus on schoolwork. Tutors, actual professors coming over to our home to teach when I’d be running off somewhere not wanting to deal with it. I didn’t feel that with Jeno. “Looks like you know everything.” I realised Jeno was talking and I came zinging back to attention. I nodded my head with a chuckle. “This is an easy chapter to be fair.” I bragged, twirling my pen between finger to finger. We packed our stuff and left the centre, going our separate ways after bidding each other goodnight.

Jeno watched her walk further and further into the distance till her figure grew smaller and finally disappeared when she turned the corner. Jeno looked down his phone, the message from her mother that was sent two hours ago still have yet to be opened. He unlocked his phone, texting a “Got it.” Before making his way over to the address that she sent.

It was a secluded café, hidden in the deeper parts of the neighbourhood where not many would pass by and visit. Jeno saw her sitting by the window, casually sipping on her drink. Jeno took in a deep breath before entering. He quickly made his way over to her, taking the seat opposite. “So.” Jeno exhaled sharply. “The money?” The woman nodded her head and cleared her throat. “I’ll have it wired to you after we’re done here.”

“Then why did you want to meet me?” Jeno tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed as he squinted his eyes. He watched the woman as she sat up straight and placed her hands on her knees. “I just wanted to ask how she’s been doing.” The woman said. Jeno clicked his tongue, nodding his head and glancing sideways before answering, “It wasn’t easy, but worth the money I’m about to get.”

Jeno thought about just how fast time flew by, especially when he was with her. They didn’t even hang out much, just pure study sessions at his part time work place. They never once hung out with a purpose outside of studying, though they’ve been doing it for months. Just like that, the first semester had already ended. At that moment Jeno recalled all the times he’s spent with her like a movie tape that flashed before his eyes. Their every memory vividly etched into his mind, a sudden one suddenly occuring to him the moment he mentioned it.

It was Febuary 14th, Valantines Day. And instantly, I grew scared as to what I had to face this day. It happened every year, at every college I had been. And I just so happen to have class today. I paced back and forth in my small dorm, peeling the dried skin off my lips with my teeth while I fiddled with the hang nails of my thumbs, contemplation of going to class being on my mind for far too long.

Not being able to handle the stress I’ve put on myself, I opened my closer, quickly thumbing through it and taking out a black jacket, along with black sunglasses. If I had to go this far just to attend class, I’d better be receiving some sort of reward from Jeno.

I could remember what happened last year so clearly. The moment I stepped out of the building, lots, and I mean lots of guys were waiting just for me, gifts and presents for them to confess their love which I clearly accepted none. I never wanted their gifts, it wasn’t of value at all, that I could tell with just a glimpse of it. It was annoying. I knew I was popular on my socials but I didn’t know it would have escalated to such extends.

I slowly turned the knob of my door, pushing it open and peeking just my head out, carefully looking both directions before pulling my entire body out into the open hallway. I placed my hood on, pulling it so far as to cover at least half of my face as I adjusted my sunglasses and began walking. If I had bothered, I would have gone through the back exit of this building. How unlucky was I to not do it, forcing myself through main exit of the building.

I gulped anxiously, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket as I kept my head tilted down the whole way. I had to take a few steps down a pathway, and just when I wanted to turn a corner, time froze for the shortest of second, a large group of guys, some I’ve seen on campus at some point during my time here, others being complete strangers. They were sitting down on the floor and leaning against the walls as if they’ve been awaiting for my arrival for hours.

I couldn’t even bat an eyelash before they began coming at me. And just like that, I had to sprint like I was being chased by zombies in an apocalypse. I ran for my life, and to who knows where, I was most probably running in circles while trying to find the Science department, but was too occupied by the terror I was faced with to even think straight.

“Fucking hell.” I muttered, already out of breath as I lost track of where I was heading and how long I’ve been running. I looked down at my phone, and out of pure desperation, I unlocked it with shaky fingers, wanting to call the first person that came to mind.

“Jeno!” I screamed a cry for help when I heard his unflattering, “What?” when he picked up. “Save me! I’m bring chased! Jeno!” I was practically wailing with exclamation marks at this point. His breathing disappeared instantly after that. I realised that he hung up, only making my eyes protuberant as ever as my mouth gaped open so wide at the audacity of Jeno.

I turned my head back, the screaming of the guys never stopping this entire time. “How’s their stamina so good?!” I thought to myself, not wanting to look back again and continue running ahead at full speed. After who knows how long, I finally saw the Science department coming into my view. I flashed the widest smile on my face as I made a run for it.

I was a few metres away when I was suddenly being pulled by an unknown force, pushing me against the wall while the shrieks of the guys got muffled and disappeared as they continued running in the same direction. I was panting heavily, desperately gasping for air as if all the air around me had been sucked away for my lungs to grasp. I took me awhile to get my mind in the current situation since I was overly tired from the ruckus I had just gone through.

I swallowed once I got my breathing to the regular. Looking over my shoulders, someone was holding them, firmly yet lightly as well. It felt protective yet gentle when made contact with my skin. My eyes ever so slowly trailed from the hand that gripped my shoulders, to their arm that I realised was extremely veiny and buffed, to their broad shoulders which length was much longer than mine, making it feel as if I was being trapped with their body loomed over me.

I tilted my head up, Jeno’s face and body inches away from mine. Our eyes met, and it locked, firm and secured. Like a struck of lightning, his touch had sent an electric shock throughout my whole body, specifically at our point of contact till it stung and burn, but in a good way. Jeno’s breathing brushed across the skin on my face which only made me stand there in his grip, frozen as ice with my chest clenching tighter and tighter due to the sudden wave of emotions I was feeling.

“They’re gone.” Jeno whispered, his eyes peered to the side, checking if the coast was clear yet he never seemed to remove his grip off me, let alone doing anything about the close proximity between us. Silence circled in the air for a brief moment till Jeno pushed himself away from me lightly. “Heard from the members that they suddenly saw you running around like some mad woman. Apparently you called and I had to run all over the place to catch you at the right time.”

I eyed Jeno head to toe. He looked flawless. He seemed to have dressed up fancier today. A pink blazer that went perfectly well with his blue hair, white dress pants, and black shoes, and even a black beret to tie the look. I noticed how he had his botton up opened three bottons down again, it seemed to be a style of his, which intentional or not, drew me in real quick.

“I was running around so that I’d waste time and not have to attend class.” I said with such pride, wanting to toy around with Jeno for the fun for it. Jeno blinked his eyes twice, corner of his lip lifting up. It wasn’t a smirk, but a look of much disbelief and amused in one. Jeno took a step back, effortlessly running a hand through his fluffy hair.

“I wasted thirty minutes of my time chasing you around to save your ass and you’re telling me it’s for fun and games?” He narrowed his eyes down on me, fear washed over me like a huge wave as his stare from before was now filled with much anger and annoyance. In a split second, he had his grip on my wrist, suddenly dragging me into the Science department and to our lecture hall.

Jeno burst the door wide open, everyone’s heads turning to the door instantly as the sound of the slamming echoed across the silent hall. “It’s rare to see you late Jeno. It’s your first time actually.” Jeno still had his hand around my wrist, releasing his tight grip ever so slightly to let my blood run though again. He glanced down to his shirt, adjusting it with his free hand while for a split second he looked at our hands, but was quick to regain himself.

“We had a little trouble.” Jeno downshifted his head in greeting and took us up to the back of the hall, eyes glued to us as I felt it behind my back, suppressing the urge to turn around and go, “Stop being weirded out for God’s sake!” Jeno gripped my wrist tighter, as if he felt my irritation through his touch. We sat down next to each other, the professor continuing after far too long of a silence.

“You’re getting me gummy bears for what you did today.” Jeno whispered in a coarse tone, his throat sounding dry. I giggled and nodded my head, taking out my materials while he did the same. “Cute.” Jeno stopped his actions, turning his head slowly while I continued. “Why?”

“Just...” I wandered, thinking about how to come up with an excuse to something I accidentally let out. But who am I kidding? I’m not one to hide my feelings anyway. “I just think it’s cute that you have a huge love for gummies and jellies. Like a kid.” I shrugged and leaned back in my seat, wanting to focus on my professor but couldn’t shake the fact of how I could clearly see Jeno holding his stare on me in my peripheral decision for a long minute before adverting his eyes down the hall.

Jeno looked down at his phone, the confirmation of the transfer being made. It was a huge sum of money that could last him ages. To be honest, he felt that it wasn’t hard taking care of her at all. Her mother made it sound a hundred times worst. But she seemed fine and genuinely normal around Jeno, just the fact that she liked to joke around and slack. With Jeno’s light push, she could immediately spring back into action.

However, he couldn’t help but think that what he’s doing was wrong. Jeno was forming a relationship with her for the sole purpose of getting money. Worst part, she didn’t even knew about the deal he had with her mother. It was to be kept a secret. And Jeno didn’t like it, he felt the guilt building up inside him each time they met up, having to gather up courage to face her. To top it all off, the guilt only grew larger till it became a huge monster the moment he realised that he was falling for her.

For the end of our semester, we had to do a project. And unfortunately for me, or maybe not, it was a group project. After class ended, I was about to sprint up to Jeno, who was sitting at the very front today to be more attentive about the briefing for the project, every single girl in the hall went up and surrounded him as if they were swallowing him whole.

“Let me be your partner, Jeno!” “I’ll do the project well with you!” “I’m your best bet to scoring!”

I almost had a migraine constantly hearing their shrieks and screaming of the girls trying to get Jeno’s attention. Meanwhile, he forced a smile on his face, it was obvious that he was being suffocated and was desperate to teleport himself out of the hall. I couldn’t help but let out a subtle giggle, watching him suffer as I felt the energy of his blood boiling like hot air could burst from his ear any moment, but he was able to keep a neutral face the whole time. He knew how to manage his anger.

I watched the chaos, sighing to myself in a somewhat satisfactory manner. Jeno pushed through the crowd, trying his hardest to squeeze his way through. He turned around and lifted both his hands up in the air like he was being arrested. All the girls grew silent instantly at his action. “Sorry but I’m doing this myself.” Jeno declared out loud. He made eye contact with me, causing me to lean back and pointing a finger to myself to check if he was actually motioning at me. He jerked his head to the door, signaling me to exit.

Jeno walked out and the silence among the group of girls suddenly became inaudible murmurs and whispering their heads off. I clicked my tongue, floating like a balloon out of the lecture hall after.

“Everyone’s so desperate for you.” I said when I caught up to Jeno who was taking slow steps. “Ut was fun watching you suffer there. I could tell you were about to burst at any second.” I laughed out loud, putting my humour right up Jeno’s face. “Are you working with anyone for the project?” Jeno questioned me.

I kept a straight and boring expression. “Don’t feel like working with anyone.” I gaped my mouth open, a sudden idea popping up as my face slowly turned to a mischievous expression with the smile of the cheshire cat. “Do you perhaps want to-” 

“I’m not working with you because I know you well enough to know that you’ll make me do majority of the work. Even if I did work with you, you know me well enough to know that I’ll force you to do your work. Actually that applies to both you wanting and not wanting to work with me-”

“You didn’t even let me finish my sentence!” I growled with exasperation. Jeno’s face softened and turned kind, a look I rarely see on him. “Oh then what is it?” I kept silent for a moment. “want to work with me for the project...?” I uttered, it was barely audible. Jeno breathed out a chuckle. “Nice try. I’ll be supervising to make sure you’re on task anyways. It’s a shame I have to deal with your ass almost everyday.” I puckered my lips in question, eyebrows furrowed till it knitted together. “Why do you have to take care of me? Like why was I any of your business in the first place?”

Jeno kept a straight face, sudden anxiousness triggered in him as she asked the question. He wished he could tell her everything, but he knew far too well the consequences if it, and jeopardizing whatever relationship they had would never be an option. “Because I’m the president? I have to take care of new students, you know.” I questioning face grew back to my bored one, puffing my cheeks and blowing the air out, flippantly.  “Whatever.” I replied quickly as we went our separate ways after making a decision to meet someday at the student council’s office to start on our project.

Weeks past, and though I dreaded doing the project in the first place, I was shocked at how much I completed. However, with Jeno being extremely particular about my work so that I’d do well, I had to write up a proposal on my overall project for him. On a Saturday night. I didn’t know what came over me, but I had the feeling of wanting to get drunk. The work I did for the past weeks had led to me having constant mental breakdown, whining to myself just when could I get my break. And again, with Jeno having an invisible knife to my throat to make sure I did my work, break time seemed to never be in my to-do list.

I took a trip back home to steal a bottle of wine. Back at the dorm, I looked at the time. It was too early to get drunk, but I barely cared about that at all, opening the wine bottle and pouring it into the one wine glass I had. I didn’t use it to drink wine, but rather other sweet drinks and water for the sole purpose of wanting to feel fancy and have the timiest bit of class in this rundown dorm. I sat at my laptop, the white blank space staring at me while I stared back, slowly bringing the glass up to my lips to take a sip. I gulped it down, sighing in satisfaction. I began to write my proposal, thinking I’d be able to finish and send it to Jeno before I got drunk off the wine. How dumb was I to think my body could even do that?

It was late at night. Jeno in his dorm while trying to fix up and improve bits and pieces of his presentation for thr project. He had completed it long ago to be honest, he just needed to add a few things to turn it up a notch in terms of quality. Suddenly, on the bottom right corner of his screen popped up an email notification from her, the title being “A very well planned out proposal.” Jeno laughed for a moment, finger to his lip with his eyebrows raised. He felt the sarcasm through the words.

Grabbing a hold of his mouse, he brought the cursor over to the notification to open it, which led him to Google Docs where she typed out the proposal. Jeno sat up straight as a way to wake his mind up from the tired night he’s had up till now and began reading. He scanned his eyes over the paragraphs and taking barely seconds to expertly analyse them. It had been good so far, till it got to the last few paragraphs. Jeno noticed how some words had gone distorted, it seemed like she was typing gibberish, typing in a lazy and careless manner. Jeno could make out a few words, but the rest was far from recognisable. Then came the last paragraph, which shocked him the most.

HEsyu njEmo! i fELt dlike assduddely sddayubg thajis bjjfut weoek youyre veiry hot!! losike smkoingf baiiyy i likele yuori a hmklott!!! buit i knbow youre onkly beving kind to nr cauyse touyre onldjyy doiubg yourh jobbv as jhe phresibdrnt :$(((

Jeno squinted his eyes while looking at it. It can’t be what he thought it could be, right? Was he being delusional? Was he making up the meaning of the words to what he hoped to be? Jeno noticed his heart suddenly racing at a rapid pace, eyes reading it over and over again to come up with any other possible meaning behind it to deny his conclusion.

Though, after long thought, Jeno unconsciously had a smile on his face, his head tilting down to the table for a moment before looking up at the screen, his smile pursing his lips together tightly while shaking his head. “Cute.” Jeno whispered, letting out a long sigh before going back to the top of the proposal to add in his comments.

I went to our usual meetup spot. Luckily it was hours into the day, and I had time to recover from my hangover. I shocked myself this morning as I saw the bottle of wine fully empty, down to the last drop. How was I even capable of that? Whatever it was, I didn’t remember a single thing that happened last night. I assured myself that I didn’t do anything stupid since I woke up in bed, as per usual, just with a terrible headache with the room being the same as when I stepped in.

I swung open the door, lazily sliding my bag off my shoulder and to the table, pushing it aside while Jeno had his eyes on his laptop. “How’s my proposal?” Jeno shot his eyes up. “Did you not bother reading over once you were done?” Jeno questioned in a low, intimidating voice as if he could pounce on you at any second.

I sucked in my lips, a sound coming out when I placed my lips back to its normal position as I shook my head slowly with inability to show even the slightest confidence. I couldn’t be arrogant anymore around Jeno. He had a power over me that I never knew anyone could have. “Uh no?” Jeno hummed casually, leaning back into his seat nonchalantly, something about his light attitude making me scared as I began to think over what I had done wrong with my proposal.

“So you didn’t know what you did to it?” Jeno asked again, the interrogation feeling nestled in me as unknown fear piled up in me. I raised my shoulders questionably. “What’s wrong with it?!” I groaned out, tired of having him question me while I worried my ass off. “I added comments to it. Some things I added can help your presentation next week so make sure to go over it.” Jeno rose form his seat, gathering uo everything on the table and placing it in his bag. He casually slug it over one shoulder, walking away. Before he left however, he turned around and said, “Your last paragraph was cute by the way.”

Upon the door being closed, I instantly took out my laptop from my bag frantically, opening up the proposal that had Jeno’s notes on it. I scrolled all the way down till the last paragraph, wanting to faint as the sight of the red words below it and whatever nonsense I had typed out while I was drunk. “Please submit a more professional write up next time. Don’t be stupid to drink while you’re doing work.” I read over his words. I shrieked, the kind that was inaudible as I scrunched my hair up while balling fists into my hair. I shook my body around, embarrassment being the only feeling in my mind at that moment, as well as the rest of the night ahead.

It finally came to presentation day. And as expected, Jeno was chosen to come up first. He set up his slides, turning his head to it to make sure it was being shown clearly before looking back to his audience. His posture was upright and firm, confidence being dominated in him as he began presenting. Sure, I was listening to what he’s been talking about, but I was more so focused on Jeno himself. The way he expertly articulated his movements and words imbued with much passion. It’s as if he’s done it for years, like a high knowledged ornator. There was of course his beauty to admire in the midst of it all as well.

“_____. Why don’t you go?” The professor turned his upper body to me, the students still clapping loudly, and screams mostly coming from the girls while Jeno took his seat. I stood up, making my way down. The hall suddenly got pin drop silent. The whole time I presented, my eyes felt the urge to always glance to Jeno. Though I thought he’d have a serious look on his face, it was more of a soft and gentle one, a look that gave me reassure to push on. It warmed my heart and gave me a confidence boost almost instantly each time I looked to him.

“You did good.” Jeno admitted, a wide smile forming on his lips. I smiled back. “You did way better. I loved yours a lot.” I complimented, I was almost skipping due to how pumped up I felt after class. “Mm do you mean my presentation or me?” Jeno looked down on me and I looked back, eyes widened at his sudden comment. Jeno laughed it off, waving a lazy hand in my face. “Forget I said anything.”

Surprisingly, Jeno agreed to head out to a candy shop to congratulate ourselves for the hardwork we’ve done. And must I say, Jeno completely lit up. He was bright, bubbly, his subtle humor making me like him more and more. I couldn’t shake the face that we were hanging out like this, like we weren’t stuck in a box where Jeno was all stone and harsh on me. He radiated an energy that no one would have thoughg even existed. Turns out I just had to talk to him for it to show. And gummy bears.

Jeno and I were walkign down the same path on our way back. However, Jeno informed me that he had somewhere to be. I didn’t bother asking where, simply letting out a, “Wherever you’re going, don’t be out for too long!” Jeno flashed an eye smile and waved with an adorably low laugh, nodding his head. I walked away, but I noticed how Jeno was simply standing there, as if waiting for someone. He said he needed to go somewhere. Was he taking a cab or something?

I didn’t know why but curious came flooding my mind. I didn’t know how I suddenly got this intrigued by what he does off campus and whatever he’s doing outside of our friendship. As a person who liked him, it wasn’t wrong to be curious, right? Luckily, I wasn’t far off when I walked away so I turned a corner to hid myself there. Jeno waited there for at least fifteen minutes, my legs growing numb from having myself glued to the wall. Just when I wanted to walk away, a person came walking up to him, which he responded with a raise of his hand in greeting. Specifically it was a woman. My eyes almost fell out of their sockets the moment I realised who it was. What was my mother doing with Jeno?

I leaned in, my ear hoping to pick up every single word and my eyes looking at their every action. “A bonus. You’ve been doing well. You’re exceptional indeed.” My mother held out a large bag that looked extremely heavy. Jeno had one hand in his pocket, using his free hand to take it. He tilted his head down. “What’s with the physical cash? You always did online transfers.” Cash? Online transfers? What were they doing? Billions of questions flashed in my mind, I couldn’t be hearing this correctly. Were they dealing on something? Underground business I know nothing about?

“I’m suprised you’re able to hold her down for a time longer than I have seen her stay in one school. Whatever did you do to have her tamed?” Jeno chuckled, glancing down to the feet before meeting my mother’s eyes again. “Asserted dominance. Simple. Though I’ve always been like that, just needed to step up a little and showed her who’s boss.” Jeno folded his arm, shoulders relaxed and talking far too casually.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Who else could they be talking about but me? Was Jeno being paid to be with me? Is that why he’s been giving me so much attention, so much care all this time. It was all for money... He did it for the money. “Also, I’ve confirmed a spot for you in the University. Just like you wanted.” My mother said. I saw how Jeno flashed a smile. My anger was boiling my blood to the highest of temperatures to even analyse and dig deeper into his actions. All I cared about was the fact that everything was a lie. From the moment I met him. It was all a show.

We were at the park, cold wind brushing against our exposed skin as the night gets itself comfortable, the stars beginning to shine and twinkle over the black canvas of the sky. I looked down from it, looking to Jeno who had his head cozily on my lap. I brushed my fingers through his hair gently, an action I’ve been doing for hours now.

Our relationship didn’t have a definite label on it. We didn’t know who we were. We let the waters flow, taking us to whichever direction it wanted. It just so happened that our feelings for each other sprouted naturally to the point where we didn’t have to say it out loud. Gradual actions of affection began and we simply liked that what we had was unsaid. It was easy, no trouble, no harm whatsoever.

“Jeno.” I whispered. Jeno fluttered his eyes open. He told me how he couldn’t help but fall asleep at my touch. “What would you do if I disappeared the next day?” I questioned, trying my hardest to make it less vague then it already was, though it failed, Jeno giving a look quizzically. “I’d be too sad to even function.” Jeno replied after a long pause of silence. And at the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think Is what you’re saying even true? I kept questioning myself about his every action, every sign of love and care he showed. What happened that day months ago was still as clear as day in my memory, which only made me doubt Jeno’s feelings for me everyday.

“Would you really?” I asked again, this time looking at him right in his eyes, prying myself into his heart and soul through them to find that slither of truth glistening under. Jeno pouted, blinking his eyes like a lost puppy. “Of course. Why would you even ask that in the first place?” I mentally replied though I gave him silence as a response, “Because I’ll be leaving your fake ass soon.”

I rummaged through the cards in my parent’s room, finding desperately for a credit card I could use. After retrieving one, I went to my room, taking out a suitcase from under my bed and immediately started packing. I shoved everything I could think of bringing off the top of my head. If I didn’t have something, I could simply buy it at London. All I wanted was to get out of this country. Out of this life, out of Jeno’s life. I couldn’t stand bring treated like some object in a deal of responsibility.

I made my way to the airport in a cab. While I was on the road, I called the only person I knew who lived in London. “Taeyong, I’m moving to London. Free up your apartment because I’ll staying with you.” “Wait what? Hey-” I ended the call before he could even finish. I looked out the window. No regrets, no guilt was holding down my heart. It felt weird at first. But now I knew that the reason why I felt this way was because of the fact I had given Jeno all my love. Whether his was fake or not, I’ve given my whole share of the relationship.

Jeno was laying on his bed when the woman’s number suddenly popped up on his phone screen. Curious at the sudden call, he instantly picked it up. “What?” He asked in an unintentionally rude manner. “_____. She’s going to the airport. Our maid just informed us. I don’t know where she’s going, but please stop her.” She sounded frantic, anxious. Jeno instantly sprung up from his bed and rushed out his dorm, planning to steal Ten’s motorbike to rush his way to the airport.

Jeno got off the motorbike after speeding through so many cars and having the constant urge to go over the speed limit just so he could reach there faster. He didn’t knew where she was, but he was determined to find her. And most of all, hoped that she has yet to fly.

Jeno kept his eyes wide open, scanning through the large area constantly as he tried to find where she was. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. It was all to sudden. Why did she decide to go abroad without letting him know? Of all people but him? He understood if she didn’t inform her parents, but Jeno was the only person she said she trusted the most. She couldn’t be leaving out of nowhere. It took him seconds to spot her in the busy area. He ran up to her, seeing how she had a large luggage on her side while she leaned against it casually and having her passport in her hand. “_____! Where are you going?!” Jeno shouted, gripping her wrist and turning her around.

I flinched at the sudden contact, hearing Jeno’s voice right behind me and he spun me around to face him. How did he even know I was here? Ah of course, my mother somehow knew though I wanted to make my leave as discreet as possible. I removed myself out of Jeno’s grasp, wincing at how tight he was holding my wrist. “You don’t need to know where.” I simply answered, but he shook his head furiously. “Tell me why!” Jeno pleaded. I saw the look in his eyes, the look of fear and pain while he got a hold of my wrist again. I let go. “Is my mother going to pay you more if you stopped me from leaving?”

I walked past him, seeing the time to board my flight blinking and signaling the people to get moving. I turned around after walking a far distance, flicking up my passport and tilting my head. I noticed how Jeno wanted to move, take a step towards me but had something in him that held him back, like he was unwillingly rooted to the ground. From a far distance I could tell Jeno’s pupils dilated at the sight of me taking steps back and growing smaller out of his view.

“Ciao.” I mouthed before turning away relentlessly There’s no turning back, was all i thought. With the money I had, I could go anywhere in the world as I pleased, anywhere that would get me away from this place and the person who broke my heart. I did say I didn’t feel anything, but as I went to board the plane, not bothering to turn back and take one last look at Jeno, the tears came out without a second thought. I tried my hardest to keep myself together. But right when we took flight, it came to my senses of what I was doing.

It took awhile to realise that she was gone, with Jeno being in a trance while she left. She was out of his sight, and he’ll never know for how long. After the day she went, Jeno was broken. So broken, that he couldn’t do anything. He holed himself in his room for days on end, not having a single energy to lift himself out of bed. He knew it from the start, this situation being inevitable. He didn’t think that she would mean this much to him the moment he accepted the deal. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t expect their relationship to grow and mean so much. But he couldn’t believe himself, denying it everytime he thought about it.

“For how long are you going to keep talking to me about this?”

Taeyong ran a frustrated hand through his hair, my eyes boring at him as he paced back and forth in front of me in the living room. I couldn’t help but wonder just how long he wanted to keep this up.

“Two years. Two damn years you’ve been staying here in London.” He turned a sharp ninty degrees to face me, his body leaning forward slightly. “Don’t get me wrong I like that you’re here but you have a whole life that you left behind. On an impromptu decision might I add.” I stared at him blankly, showing my careless attitude by sinking into the couch and folding my arms with placing one leg over the other. “I don’t care. I’m living well here so I don’t see why I have to go back.”

“You told me about Jeno. Do you not miss him at all?” That question got me to look down as it sunk into my mind, thoughts about it began to surface. Taeyong probably noticed the thoughtful look on my face, adding on with, “Think about it. He made that simple deal at first without knowing his relationship with you would expand so much more from when it first started. Did you not bother to think about what went through his mind when you left so unexpectedly? From what you told me, he certainly loves you. Not sure if he still does though, being real here.” Taeyong shrugged flippantly, not giving a care to shoot his words right at my heart and being real with me.

“But he didn’t stop the deal even when he developed feelings for me. What does that show?” Though I retorted back, I felt it. Taeyong’s words that I mulled over firing at me, even with the bulletproof vest that I had on for the two years, the bullets went right through them, shooting me dead as I bleed and thought about all the memories I had with Jeno. It only now occured to me that I truly did miss him, I was simply pretending I didn’t and tried living my best life here in London, wanting to push away the fact that I’ve never had a better life than back there with Jeno. “You have to go back someday, _____.” Taeyong sat down next to me, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. “And talk to Jeno.”

I couldn’t believe that I was back here. It felt weird, somewhat out of place. But I also belonged here. Everything washed over me and crashed like a huge wave. I had always wished that I didn’t need to come back, but my heart was slowly growing its need for it, its need for Jeno, though I had been strong for the first few months away.

I gulped my nervousness down my throat, standing in front of what I assumed to be Jeno’s apartment since my mother was so kind to inform me where he lived after giving me an earful of leaving for two years and never informing me where. Weird how they never forced me back. I knew they were capable of it with their connections here in London. I guess they never bothered to reach out and find me.

I rang the doorbell, my heart slowly increasing its pace as it thumbed against my ribcage, begging to burst out. I took in deep breaths, waiting patiently while I hoped for Jeno to be at the other side. After about close to a minute, the door creaked open, Jeno was standing in front of me. I forced myself to look him in the eyes as I inspected him. He didn’t change at all. Surprisingly, the hair colour was kept the same. The light blue that made me remember the first time he walked into class with it, capturing all the light and attention of the hall. He still had that figure of someone who worked out often, a nice physique. I didn’t take me long to notice that physically, nothing has changed.

“Um, I know this is unexpected. I’m sorry for leaving unexpectedly. I’m sorry for leaving without giving you any explanation whatsoever. I’m sorry-” I wanted to continue, wanting to let it all out right then and there till Jeno pulled me into a hug by the waist, bringing both hands up to wrap them tightly around my shoulder, his head digging into the crook of my neck as I felt him inhale against my skin, his breath brushing over it after. It took me awhile to process, gradually bringing my arms up to hug his torso, pulling ourselved closer and letting ourselves fall into each other’s embrace.

“Please, let me talk.” Jeno whispered to me. He kept a long silence after, allowing us to admire this moment. Perhaps he couldn’t believe that I was here, the fact that I left and came up unexpectedly, out of the blue. I felt the mixed emotions in his words. “I’m sorry for making that deal with your mother. I thought it was something I’d do for the sake of the money. I know you felt hurt at the fact that I did it behind your back. But I did it for you. I took care of you for your own good. I kept receiving the money, but it slowly grew meaningless when I began to like you.” Jeno rubbed his nose against my neck, though it felt ticklish, I kept my calm, wanting to focus on his words.

I pulled away, my hands still around his torso but allowing a gap between our bodies. I looked up to him, a frown forming on my face. The tears became to well up upon the sudden emotional roller coaster ride. My eyes trailed from his eyes, and gradually down to his lips after looking at every inch of his face, admiring them greatly as I began to remember why I fell for him in the first place. With or without the money, my feelings for him had never changed, no matter how buried deep into my heart they were.

“I never said this before... And I’m sorry for telling you now...” I reached up to meet his face, having to tiptoe my way up. Jeno giggled softly at my action, dipping his head down to save me from his struggle. I pouted, flicking my eyes from his one eye to the other. I then moved to his lips, smooth and glossy. It was obvious he wore chapstick.

“But I love you, Lee Jeno. I didn’t feel the need to say it back then, we were simply showing it with our affections. But I really do love you. It’s a bit too late to say it so I’m sorry. If you’ve ever lost feeling for me even the slightest bit. But I promise my love is still true and pure, no matter what you did.” I quietly whisper, my face so close to him that my lips were hovering over his, just barely touching and urging our lips to connect.

Just like that, our lips touched, a kiss was made. His lips fit perfectly to mine, like the world made it that way. Suddenly, everything came into focus. The invisible stars aligned. Everything felt so right, so perfect, with him holding me close. Jeno began to kiss me, as slow as ever and with much care and love. We closed our eyes, as if never wanting to leave this. I didn’t know how long we were standing there, lips never wanting to part. But sooner or later we did, me having to pull away first.

“My love for you never changed either. I waited, and I missed you too much to forget what we had.” Jeno breathed out, his chest going up and down against mine as he breathed heavily. I giggled, looking down in embarrassment as my cheeks to began to blush an obvious pink. “That was our first kiss.”

Jeno arched a brow quizzically. “Was it? It felt like we’ve been doing it forever.”

[twoshipsnorowboat]

Your art style is a bloody DELIGHT - I was curious if you had any inspirations for it you'd be open to sharing? It's such a lovely balance between the whimsy of animation while still being fantastic likenesses of the characters the art is based on and it's everything I hope I'll be able to do one day myself (but I'm still VERY early on in practicing drawing).

HI. HI. YOU. YOU MADE MY DAY. WTF. WTF.

A more coherent answer:

First off, thank you so fucking much for liking my art style!!! It’s always a fucking battle and I am never certain of how I feel about it. Often, it kind of seems like I don’t have as cohesive a style as I should—so seeing this was such a shock. Thank you you fucking godsend

In terms of inspirations, a shit ton? Haha not very helpful. I started off drawing really loving burdge-art’s style and there’s a bit of their style influence on me. That said, at the same time, I was learning traditional art as well, so I learned a lot about capturing likenesses and proportions and such there. (FYI this was…6 years ago? Haha yeah. Drawing is a fucking process and it’s one that’s most appreciated as a craft rather than one where the finished product is perfect, so just general advice for not losing your mind: don’t be too hard on yourself for not getting something right in the final draft of your artwork. Note it, figure out how to improve it, then start the next project. It happens, it’s part of the process.)

When capturing someone’s likeness, I like to do a sheet of just studies first. First off, get a bunch of reference pics. People look different in different angles and the way their eye looks on one angle doesn’t quite match up to how they look another angle. Give everything a good study. I then *gasp* trace a source image. Probably not the best practice, but it familiarizes me with the shapes of the person. (FYI I’m in “tracing is amazing for practice but never claim that’s your own art” camp.) Then, I close the trace, do a redraw of the same picture but with only references. And then I draw a bunch of other poses. Everyone has a different process but this really works for me.

The reason why you want to do a version post-trace (aside from good practice) is because the trace looks…off. Real world lines don’t really convert very well to art lines. The sketch version has a stronger sense of 3D and structure. It doesn’t feel as wishy-washy as the trace. This is the place where art style begins to show because this is where you start to “condense” and take out parts of the original photo you don’t want to express. The sketch loses accuracy, but that’s where style develops. (In this one, I do think the eyes are a bit far apart. I’d fix that when I do the next sketch!)

The faint red lines behind the sketch is my shape layer. Highly recommend this. It helps everything set into place!

Okay, back to inspirations. Generally I am really drawn to art with strong fluidity and mood. Pencil sketches, oils, ink and watercolour, animators’ sketches, etc. I love love love nephrosoupp, holly warburton, chopinspree, and nobodyanybody0 (now nbgpart!)’s art. They have such a great cohesion to the works as well as fluidity and colour, and it’s like, how are they so good?

My current colouring style is influenced by traditional coloured pencil art, hence the line-y look. I’m working on incorporating some high-contrast into the style (ex. using blue as shade colours when base is yellow, etc.) but, as with all art, it’s a Fucking Process.

Hope the ramble was a decent read, and a giant fucking thank you once again for making my fucking day.

[writingsbychlo]

let it snow | joel dawson

word count; 20,746

summary; the night is made for doing things you probably shouldn’t do, and the mornings are for running away from them. except, for when you’re snowed in, and trapped with your problems for who knows how long.

notes; this is based vaguely on the movie ‘two night stand’, but very loosely, it does not follow much of the idea at all, just the basic outline. you absolutely do not have to have seen the movie to read this.

warnings; smut, reference to unprotected sex, very light (accidental) slut shaming, that’s about it.

It took you a moment to realise that you weren’t in your own bed when you woke up, startling a little as you came to the realisation. Your walls were not painted blue, and you definitely didn’t have a desk that messy pressed up underneath the window. In fact, your bedroom didn’t have a view like that at all, your bedroom window looked straight out into New York city, and the alleyways behind some dodgy fast-food restaurants.

This was a nice view, calmer roads and little houses, fields sprinkled with snow became visible the more you sat up, and you hadn't remembered it snowing this heavily last night. Sure, you’d been rather preoccupied, and okay, maybe it had been snowing a little bit, but this looked excessive. Although, it would explain the deep chill in the air right now.

You were still a little foggy, jumping slightly as hot breath washed over you from behind the bedding pulling as another body shuffled, and you were stiff all over. Then, it hit you. Reckless, a few drinks in with your happily loved up roommate and her boyfriend, who made you feel more and more painfully single every time you saw them, before you’d retreated to your bedroom, tipsy and secretly bitter, and checked some dating websites. A cute guy, some witty jokes, a funny conversation, and then him.

Everywhere, all at once, a quick train ride and some frantic kisses, your clothes being stripped from your body as that same mouth moved lower and lower, sweaty and hot and barely stopping to ask questions before you were waking up now, a little bit panicked and filled with ridiculous regret. Rubbing a hand over your eyes, you forced yourself to roll over, as calmly as you possibly could, to try and take in the sleeping man beside you.

Messy brown hair, the same shade as dark chocolate, your tongue tingling at the thought of the sweet treat as you liked your lips, resisting the urge to reach out and see if the stands were as soft as they looked. His face was half-hidden within the pillow, slumped down into it, but pale skin reflected little brown moles, his hair beginning to speckle with a light tracing of stubble, the tingle of which was now beginning to make itself known again between your thighs. Long eyelashes on closed lids hid his eyes from you, but you had a distinct memory of them, burned into your mind.

Warm pools of amber and gold, swirling browns that glittered in the low light that had taken over, like flickering candles and pools of caramel, a shade of whiskey that you wanted to be drunk on, beautiful and bright from all the times he’d looked at you. He was handsome, you couldn’t deny that, an odd surge of pride rushing through you as you congratulated yourself on at least being able to pick out somebody physically perfect to have a one-night stand with in your self-pitying loath.

The blankets were sitting around his middle, one hand stretched out a little towards your side of the bed, long and veiny fingers, and you remembered a little just why he’d driven you so wild now, those same veins making tracks up his forearms, disappearing just before his biceps. He was toned, but not overly so, the muscles along his chest standing out, a smattering of dark hair between them, and you could finally remember tracing the slight definition of abs with your tongue, before you’d been tracing something else, and your face flushed with heat as you remembered just how much of the man before you you’d seen.

It felt scandalous now, to be sharing abed with a stranger whom you could barely remember, and to know exactly what he looked like naked, or how he sounded while moaning as he came, but to not even know his last name, or to fully remember the address that you were even at. It was dirty, it was filthy, it was wrong. Oh, but it had been so fun, an experience that everybody should have at least once in their life, a naughty little secret, the one night stand you picked up at a bar, or through a friend, someone you’d look back on fondly once you were ten years older, married and settling down, and as you thought about it more, your lips were still flicking up in a smile.

You’d laugh about it one day.

Slipping from the covers, you tried to find your clothes, not wanting to linger any longer, not wanting the awkwardness of having to deal with stunted small-talk and forced politeness as you tried to adjust to the morning alongside him, someone who was still a little fuzzy in your mind, and your clothes were scattered around the room within easy access, a fortunate happening that made you thank whichever god or deity might be watching you right now.

Sipping your jeans back on, you wiggled a little, trying not to make the flooring creak underneath you, and only pausing long rough to put on your socks, shoes held in hand as you adjust your jumper on your body, a hand running through messy hair to tame it. The man shuffled, and you froze, watching as he paused for only a moment, before flipping over and away from the side you’d been sleeping on, a sleepy huff sounding from him, but he was still snoozing heavily, and you let out a little sigh. Your coat was hanging on the rack, and you grabbed that too, anticipating ho grateful you’d be to have it as you battled against the freezing cold that was surrounding you, toes chilling more and more against the concrete, but you didn’t want to wait much longer to leave.

A scrap of paper, a post-it note from the pad in the hall and a pen that barely had any ink left in, but you scribbled down a few quick words, pinning it up to the corkboard beside the door, and nodding to yourself as you deemed it good enough.

‘had a great time last night, thx.’

With a smiley face and a sign on your name to finish it off, you were undoing the catch across the door, the chain rattling slightly as it fell loose, and you winced, waiting to see if you’d woken him again, the studio apartment he resided within offering little in the way of walls and doors to muffle the muted noises of your escape. When you deemed it clear, your hand sealed around the door handle, clicking it open carefully, and pulling the door towards yourself.

So close, the corridor in sight, but the alarm beeped loudly, and you jumped, the computerised voice startling you so violently that your whole body jerked a little, and you went wide-eyed. You closed the door, hoping it would stop, but the beeping only intensified, and your heart raced in your chest.

“Shit!” Your voice was hissed out in a whisper, and you panicked, hearing the man in bed begin to stir a little, and in a last-minute bid to try and reclaim what little dignity you had left, not wanting to be caught sneaking out, you tore the note back down from the pin-board crinkling it slightly and tiptoeing back to the bedroom. Placing your shoes and coat down quietly as the man began to surface, and you tucked yourself back under the covers on the opposite side, pulling them up to your neck and faking a yawn as he pushed himself up with a groan, sleep broken.

He wandered away from you, your eyes diverting from his body a little bit as the covers fell away, and you were grateful to find that at some point he’d pulled his boxers back on, because you weren’t sure you could handle any more embarrassment this morning. The beeping came to a stop, a mechanic voice informing you that the alarm had been rest, and he was rubbing at his face and yawning as he wandered back through.

“False alarm.”  His voice was still raspy, filled with sleep and cracking a little.

“That’s so weird.” He only hummed in acknowledgement of your words, before he was shaking himself down, settling back into the bed and rolling onto his side, away from you as he fell right back into his slumber, and you sat up. “Bummer that it woke us up. I should probably get going anyway. I had fun, though!”

“Thanks, I think.” He was still half-asleep, barely processing your words, you picked at the sheets a little, trying to decide whether or not you were sufficiently polite enough to be able to leave yet.

“It was perfect for.. y’know.. what I needed. So, thanks, Joe.”

“Joel.” He mumbled, your brows furrowing as your legs swung over the edge of the bed, feet hitting the floor, and a loud creak sounded out under your sudden weight on the floorboards.

“What?” He huffed, deciding that sleep clearly wasn’t a luxury he was going to reclaim, and he pushed himself to sit up, pillows popped behind him.

“My name, it’s Joel.”

“What did I say?” Your fingers were doing up your laces, ignoring the burning heat of his gaze on you.

“Joe. My name has a little ‘L’ at the end. Joel.”

“Right, yeah, my bad.” You cringed a little, picking up your coat from the floor, and pulling it up your arms, an amused look on his face as he watched you.

“Did you sleep fully dressed?”

You looked down, shrugging a little and swallowing thickly as this got more and more awkward, and this wasn’t exactly how you’d pictured the morning after your first one night stand going. “I, uh, got cold.”

“Uh-huh.” You patted your hand at your sides, not sure what else to do, and he stretched his arms out, rolling his head from side to side, before looking at you again. “So, do you want to get some breakfast? Or do you normally just take off?”

“Normally?” He paused his stretching, looking up at you, a confused expression flicking across handsome features, and he made a vaguely confused noise, as though he didn’t know what he’d just spoken. “You said ‘normally’. Like, as if I do this so often that I’d have a normal and abnormal version of it.”

“That’s not what I meant. I have no idea how often you do this, I just thou-”

“I told you last night that this was my first time doing this, or even anything remotely like this!” You remembered that part clearly, because you choked a little on your words when telling him, and then he’d laughed breathlessly and kissed you, while pushing you back into his bed, and your face flushed as you remembered the exact moment, graphic detail almost disturbing.

“Yeah, but, c’mon.” You raised your brows at him, hands sitting on your hips as you stared at him, hoping your face portrayed the fact that you absolutely did not know. “(Y/N), c’mon. Do you really expect me to believe that this is your first one night stand, ever?”

“Yes! Because it is!” He stared at you blankly, before shrugging a little, seeming to accept it, but you were still feeling distinctly judged. “The only reason I’m even here is that my roommate and best friend had her boyfriend over, and I was feeling particularly lonely in the holidays, and they were, y’know, about to.. so, I had to do something, an-”

“No, yeah, you were sexiled, or whatever. I remember that. It’s just, surely this isn’t the first time your roommate has wanted to sleep with her boyfriend while you were home, so this can’t be the first time you’ve.. yeah.” He waved his hands, motioning between the two of you, and your arms crossed over your chest, glaring at him.

“I am sensing some distinctly judgy vibes coming from your side of the bed - which is odd, considering what we did took teamwork - and I haven’t even done anything worth judging!”

“There’s no judgy vibes coming from this side of the bed!” He laughed a little, shaking his head incredulously at you, and had your anger not been reaching its peak, you probably would have been a little more embarrassed. “Honestly, I really admire what you did. I wish more girls were that forward.”

“Forward?” You seethed, rolling your eyes at him. “There we go with that ‘slut’ thing again!”

“Wha- what ‘slut thing’? I’m not calling you a slut!” He moved now, standing up himself from the bed and you averted your eyes, letting him scoop up his shirt from the floor and tug it on over his head. “I’m calling you a girl, who went over to a stranger’s house at midnight. If only there was a word for that.”

“You know what, screw you!”

“That was a joke.” You stormed past him, hearing him chase after you with his own laughs as he tried to suppress them. “That was a joke! I’m sorry, bad timing.”

“You invited me here, just remember that!”

“That’s not quite how it happened, but it doesn’t matter.” He was biting at the inside of his cheek to contain his smile, fixing you with an amused gaze. “Look, why don’t we just have some breakfast? I make really good oatmeal, with a little smiley face made out of jam.” He almost had you, your resolve breaking just a little, before he was snickering to himself again. “And it’s not slutty at all.”

“Save your stupid oatmeal, I think I’m just going to take off.” You swung the door open, a bitter smile on your face as you looked back at him. “Thanks for having me, it was just awesome getting to know you. Have a great life, Joe.”

“Okay, cool, well, I’m just going to assume you did it on purpose that time, because I already told you a bunch of times that it’s Joel with an ‘L’.”

“It wasn’t, but don’t worry, you just have a stupid name!”

“Great.” He huffed, no amusement left in him as he stared at you with frustration. “Well, ‘bye! Lovely having sex with you!”

“Wish I could say the same!” You hissed, his jaw dropping a little, before his eyes were narrowing.

“Sounded like you had a pretty good time last night.”

“Don’t believe everything you hear.” You were prideful and mean, and you’d probably feel bad about it later but right now it was the only way you were getting through this disaster of a morning. “Especially when it’s something like ‘Hey, Joel - cool name.’ Like, what is that? Sounds like the first draft of a name!”

“Okay. Fuck you, (Y/N).”

“Fuck you, back!”

It was a weak ending to the argument, but you didn’t care, the door slamming behind you as you stormed away, quick to hold your coat closer to your body as the temperature between the apartment on the halls was radically different, your breath clouding in the air even from within the building, and you located the staircase.

It was only four floors up, the building being rather oddly constructed, only two apartments per floor, and it was unusually quiet behind all of the doors. When you finally reached the main entrance, remembering him coming downstairs to let you in last night, you undid the catch, your shoulder pushing against the fogged up glass as you made to leave, and a confused and slightly pained cry sounded from you as the door refused to budge even an inch.

You tried again, before you were wiping at the glass, to clear the condensation and try and see what the blockage was, but you quickly discovered it wasn’t fog but ice. Moving over to the window beside a door labelled ‘laundry’, you were met with the sight of snow piled up high, almost three feet up to reach the base of the window, and the roads weren’t even visible. You hadn't realised just how heavy the snow had gotten, and how bad the extent of it all was, until now, where you could see the

“Oh, no, no, no.” Panic flooded through your system as you realised just how screwed you were, trapped in a building with no way out, and your phone was dying, and you weren’t even sure whether your roommate would be up in time to come and find you and clear the snow before the battery died. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Pulling up google, you were quick to check the news reports in the area, finding that the snow had increased and come down heavily overnight, it was a city-wide issue, and there was no way that they’d be getting anywhere near where you were for hours, if that. It was still snowing, albeit not as heavily, but they were prioritising inner-city roads and train lines, not little apartment blocks on the edges of cute fields and open space.

Of all the people you could choose to hook up with, you had to pick the person who was living in the most inconvenient location for a snowstorm.

Glancing around, you realised this was it, you were just going to have to hunker down for a few hours, and in all fairness, it could be worse. At least it was clean and smelled pleasant. Settling yourself down against the cool concrete flooring in the edge of the room, you stretched your legs out before yourself, daring to tap the ‘call’ button on your phone, and bringing it to your ear.

You waited, listening to it ring all the way until it went to voicemail, and then again, and again. After three times, and a whole 5% of what little battery life you had left remaining, you gave up on your roommate, knowing that if it were you at home, you’d be snuggled up cosy in your bed and still fast-asleep too. Switching the device off to conserve power, your head fell back, resting on the wall. Most wonderful time of the year, my ass.

“No, it was super fuckin’ weird. Totally fine, and then suddenly everything is a screaming match an-”

You cursed under your breath, the one voice you had wished you wouldn't have to hear again, followed by rhythmic bouncing of footsteps coming down the stairs, and you glanced up, offering a small wave to the person whom you’d hoped never to have to see again, and his brows furrowed, pausing where he was stood.

“I’m gonna’ have to call you back.” Tucking his phone into his pocket, he took the final few stairs slowly, coming to stand before you, and you pushed yourself up from the floor, brushing the dust from your pants. “What are you still doing here?”

“Blizzard. A whole bunch of snow piled up and now the door won’t open.”

He turned back to look at it, adjusting the basket in his arm before placing it down on the floor, and moving over to the door. Your arms crossed over your chest as he did, watching as he pushed the barred handle down, shoulder ramming into the door, and a grunt left him as it refused to move. He tried it again, before rubbing at his arm lightly, and moving away to peer out of the window just like you did, a little shocked at just how much it was, and you rolled your eyes at him. “I told you.”

“I was just trying to help, there was no need to be rude.” He muttered, and you scoffed once again, turning away from him as he picked the basket back up. He wandered away from you, into the laundry room, disappearing from sight, and you sat back down on the floor.

You heard him test the taps, water still coming through them miraculously, the metal and water within not having completely frozen over, and you brought your legs up to your chest, arms crossing over your knees and chin balancing atop them, preparing yourself for a long while of being bored. It was after many clicks and dials, the soft beeping of the machines as they rumbled to life, that you heard him appear once again, dirty Adidas scraping against the floor, before he came to a stop in front of you.

He looked at you for a minute, seeming to analyse whatever thoughts were going through his head, and you raised a single brow at him, prompting him to speak sooner rather than later. “You can come back upstairs, if you want.” You stared at him for a further minute, jaw dropping a little, and he tucked the laundry stock under his arm. “It’s going to be hours until those roads are cleared, even if they do unblock the doorway. You’ll freeze down here, and you haven’t eaten anything. I’ll make you some breakfast.”

He offered his hand, and sliding your palm against his, he pulled you up from your position on the floor, dropping your hand and spinning on his heel to guide you back up to his apartment. It was awkward, to say the least, and you rubbed your hands together to try and warm them back up, the chill in the air beginning to seep into your clothing and cool you to the core.

When the door opened back up, you let out a little groan, wishing you’d suppressed it better but being caught off guard, and you heard the man before you huff a laugh as your eyes scanned over the small space heater that was set up in the corner, warmth radiating from it and spreading across the apartment. Hanging your coat back up on the hooks by the door, you shuffled through the apartment, not too sure what you should be doing now that you’d returned to the scene of the crime from which you’d fled.

You chose to simply follow what Joel was doing, repeating his name like a mantra in your head so that you didn’t mess it up again, and taking a seat at the round table with a few mismatching chairs around it within his kitchen, watching as he clattered about with pots and pans at the stove. You busied yourself with your phone, finding that you at least had a signal, and could access your social media.

Instagram and snapchat were filled with videos and photographs of the snow, taken aesthetically from the windows, roofs and balconies of people who were lucky enough to be in their own homes, curled up with steaming mugs of tea and the loves of their lives to take pictures from behind frosted glass of the winter wonderland that was more like the bane of your existence.

You replied to a few texts, and messaged your friend again to update her, leaving it there for her to read whenever she came back around to consciousness, to tell her that she didn’t need to rush, and that you’d at least found yourself somewhere to keep warm and safe. Your head snapped up when a steaming bowl of oatmeal was paced down before you, smelling delicious with maple syrup and fruit, a spoon clattering down beside it before the scraping of the chair opposite you was ringing in your ears.

Poking at it, you couldn't help but notice the smiley face sitting on top, the syrup beginning to sink in as the blueberries scattered over the top were almost half-submerged, looking a little wonky but still adorable, and you looked up at the man who was already tucking into his own, finding him staring at his own meal in silence.

“Smiley face.”

Your voice cracked a little with your whispered words, but his eyes met yours, pausing only a second before the edges of his lips were flicking up in a gesture of a smile, and one shoulder rose and fell in a weak shrug. “Told you I would.”

You only nodded, spoon stirring at the contents of the dish, mixing it all together and the face on the porridge disappeared as you blended the flavours, before lifting a heaped spoonful to your mouth. Blowing on it carefully, you took the mouthful between your lips, this time successful in holding in your little sounds of appreciation as the food hit your tongue. It was delicious, you couldn't deny that, warm and satisfying as you tried to fight off the cold that was still threatening to creep in.

It wasn’t that you hadn't worn suitable clothing, but you’d only worn a camisole and jumper with a pair of leggings that were undoubtedly on the thinner side, because warm clothing hadn't been your main concern the night before when they were only going to be peeled from your body an hour or so later, discarded to the floor. Now, you were deeply regretting that decision.

You also hadn't realised how hungry you’d been, because the headache that had been forming, throbbing behind your eyes with a dull ache, was beginning to recede, the anger that had been dwelling within your system was fading, and you were allowing your mind to replace it with guilt instead. You’d been a little crass this morning, yelling and lashing out at Joel when it had been your fault that you felt like shit, succumbing to the sensual temptations of nightfall and your loneliness, and blaming your decisions on everyone else when the sun had risen.

“Look, we’re going to be here a while.” You jumped, spoon clanging against the edge of your dish, and Joel tried - and failed - to bite back his smirk at the amusement of having scared you out of your thoughts. “Why don’t we just pretend like last night never happened? Start over again? You can stay on one side of the apartment, I’ll stay on mine, we don’t even really have to interact. We’ll just coexist until the snow is cleared, and then we can part ways and never meet again. Sound cool?”

You let out a breathy sound of amusement, nodding your head as relief flooded your system. “Works for me. Clean slate?”

“Great.” He nodded, that flickering look of amusement passing over his face again, and he reached a hand out across the table. “Hey, I’m Joel. Your roommate for the next couple of hours.”

You paused, letting out a sigh as he arched his eyebrows in a silent question as to whether you were going to leave him hanging, before you accepted the outstretched hand and shook it. Giving him your name in return, he nodded his head, before he was standing up, and taking both of your bowls away to the sink, dumping them into the soapy water that he’d already prepared so that they could begin to soak.

Crossing your legs under the table, and your nails tapped for a second, silence filling the room for a few minutes, and you desperately searched for something to say that you could use to fill the silence. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

His voice sounded almost as strained as your own, but you let out a little sigh at the fact that at least he’d broken the tense silence between you both, and you hummed. “Yeah, that's good with me. Do you have a phone charger I can use?”

He turned to look at you over his shoulder, hands still submerged within the sink, but you waved the device at him as he took it in. “Yeah, I’ll grab it. You can go and pick a film; remote is around there somewhere. Pick something good.”

You were more than eager to get away from sitting idly at the table in awkward quiet and waiting for the hours to pass, each tortuous minute making you wish you’d just remained downstairs alone, slowly freezing into a statue. The couch was large and plush, slightly worn seats but it only made it look more inviting, a plethora of cushions and pillows laid out for you to settle into, and just as he’d said, the controls were already out on the coffee table, a few coasters and random pieces of stationary covering the surface too.

Switching the television on, you waited for it to boot up, finding that he had netflix downloaded, and there was a list of films in the back of your mind that you’d been waiting to watch, and you flickered through them all as you stared at the screen. Narrowing it down, you felt like a comedy might be a good choice, lighten the air with something easy going and funny, nothing too intense, and the couch dipped at the very opposite end as your company sat as far away as he could, leaning against the other arm of the couch but dropping his phone charger down onto the space between, an olive branch extended in the form of a tangled phone wire.

“How about ‘Jumanji’?”

“Good film.” He mumbled, and you nibble don your lower lip, before he was letting out the breath he was holding and turning towards you. “Second one is on here too, we could watch them both. I haven’t seen that one, just the first.”

“It’s a plan.” You confirmed, clicking play on the movie and crossing your legs, leaning over the side of the couch to try and locate a socket, pushing the plug into the wall, and hooking your phone up the power, the device buzzing in your hand as it began to charge up.

Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart were an entertaining pair on screen, and as the group began to navigate through the jungle, you let yourself become immersed in what you were seeing on screen. It wasn’t all that hard, because Jack black was hilarious. The occasional echo of a laugh from one or both of you would crack the silence when something happened, and the picking of loose threads on your jumper had begun to stop as you settled a little more into the situation, your anxiety settling and not needing to be quite so stiff.

When there were only twenty minutes or so until the end of the first movie, your phone buzzed, and then again, a series of rapidly incoming texts, and flipping over the device, it was revealed to you as your friend. Swiping it open, you pulled up the texts, chuckling to yourself at the frantic collection of broken messages that she had sent to you.

[soph 🌹] only just woke up, so sorry!!

[soph 🌹] just checked news, no way to get to u!!

[soph 🌹] roads all blocked, wtf, when did this snow come down??

[soph 🌹] kinda funny tho.

[soph 🌹] only u would go for a hookup and get snowed in there.

[soph 🌹] is he at least hot? tap that again. fill the day with hot sex??

You scoffed, but your lips were forming a smile, and you could feel the glances that were being cast your way every couple of seconds, choosing to glance up and return the look as he turned to face you once again.

“My friend just woke up, she’s finally learning about the snow.”

“Did she know you were still, um..” He scratched at the back of his neck, other hand casting around the apartment. “-out?”

Heat flushed your own cheeks, before you were nodding your head, and he seemed or accept that, silence forming between you both once again as he turned to look back at the TV screen, but stretching out with a little more comfort, long legs crossing at the ankles from where they were extended before him, and he lounged back a little more.

> that’s definitely not going to happen.

You were only given a moment of reprieve, before your phone was chiming again.

[soph 🌹] why not!! not like you’ve got anything else to do

> probably bc we're not exactly getting along. civil at best.

She didn’t respond after that, leaving your message on read, and you assumed that she’d become preoccupied with the man you guessed would have spent the night there with her, and once again, you were envious of her for being at home and comfortable in her own space, when instead, you felt like you were walking on eggshells.

The majority of the second movie was spent more on taking in the details of the apartment around you, instead of the plot line and characters. Posters hung up on the walls, and you wondered how he could afford to live here, the place was nice, but there was nothing here that suggested another person lived in the apartment, but there was no way a college student could afford a place like this alone, unless his parents were paying for it. It was a nice area, the kind of place you could live with if you had kids or were elderly, and you were pretty sure on your way over here the night before that you’d seen someone walking a dog, making it the picture-perfect neighbourhood.

College textbooks and stationery were around, a stack of notebooks and text printouts sitting on the little table before you, and it was almost fifteen minutes before you built up the confidence to lean forward and take them all in with a little more detail. He watched as you went, your eyes moving to meet his as you waited for permission, but he never stopped you, so you picked up the first book that was on top.

‘Art within Literature: The Importance of Illustrations’

“Didn’t have you pegged for an art kinda’ guy.” You mumbled, and you heard him chuckle, before he was sitting up a little straighter, moving across the couch closer to you just slightly, to see which one you had picked up.

“Not the first time I’ve been told that, actually.” He grabbed at the controls, your eyes flickering up to the screen as the sound of the movie cut off, replaced by the boring drone of the local news station, but right now, it may as well have been the most important thing in the world as the two of you perked up to listen. Placing the book back down, your legs folded underneath yourself, and you secretly had your hopes up that they were going to be getting around to this end of the city soon.

It took a while, the list of places that were being cleared was working out from the inner city in circles, your hopes falling more and more and you listened, getting an update on the weather about how it was expected to be even colder tonight than it had been last night, and the snowfall wasn’t expected to stop anytime soon, but instead, you would be here even longer than expected. The earliest that there were any plans for the road to be cleared in this area was tomorrow morning, and sadness was once again spiking within your system, feeling the man beside you sag with just as much disappointment.

“Guess I’ll set the couch up for you, later.”

“Thanks.” You hoped your lack of enthusiasm didn’t show in your voice, because you truly were grateful, and he stood up, wandering away to his bedroom and grabbing the plastic woven basket he’d been using earlier as he went, presumably to start up another load of laundry. When the door to the apartment closed behind him, you were left in silence once again, and you turned down the volume and picked up the next book that had been on his pile.

This one was a sketchbook, that much was clear as soon as you opened the book, and his full name was written across the front page, information on how to return it if it came up lost followed it, smudged fingerprints from graphite and coloured chalks were also along the corners. Flipping the first page, you were caught a little off-guard by the image you saw, yet not entirely surprised.

Clearly, his passions lay with fiction and fantasy, the name of what you assumed to be some kind of ancient Greek novel, much like ‘Iliad’ or ‘The Odyssey’, because a range of different creatures and monsters were scattered across the pages beautiful drawings, incredible details and shading, and you’d never seen anything quite like them. You wanted to trace your fingers over them, but resisted in fear of ruining the delicate art, and flicked through the pages instead.

At the top of some pages the book titles changed, inspirations from different famous works, some you knew and some you didn’t, but the drawings were always perfect. When you reached the final page, you placed it down, guilt once again running through your veins as you remembered the way you’d snapped at him this morning, because the more you learned about him, the more you realised he wasn’t all that bad, and he was probably a pretty decent guy, if you’d just given him the chance to be.

Getting up from the couch, an idea was forming in your mind, a way to at least try to pay him back or make your appreciation known, and you found yourself again in his kitchen, hands on the cupboard doors as you began to look through them.

They were mostly empty, not much in place but enough to make it work, you were sure of it, you could whip up something out of all of it, and you moved across to have a look at the contents of the tall refrigerator hidden in the corner.

“Need help finding something?”

You startled, turning to look at him and closing the fridge, and his hands were on his hips as he stared at you, your arms wrapping around yourself gently as you shrugged. You couldn’t blame him for being a little putt-off, you were just a stranger after all, but you wanted to at least try and make proper amends with him, and so you let yourself be unbothered by the frustration flashing over his features.

“What are you looking for?”

“I was just seeing what you had in.” You waved a hand behind yourself, swallowing thickly and taking a small step around the dining table towards him. “I was just seeing what you had, because I was hoping to cook dinner for you, maybe? Y’know, as a thank you for letting me stay with you, and keeping me warm and all, even though I was rude this morning.”

“Oh.” The tightness in his shoulders loosened, his body slumping a little, tension melting away, and a bashful look flickered over the anger, taking its place as he tried to muster a smile for you. “That would, uh, be nice. Thanks. I don’t have a lot in, though.”

“You really don’t. Do you just survive on junk food and pasta?”

He laughed, a genuine laugh at that, before he was standing before you and reaching over to the cupboards, pulling out a packet of pasta, and holding it out to you. “What’s wrong with junk food and pasta?”

“Nothing! But it’s all you have!”

He only grinned, opening the fridge and standing to the side, double-checking what he had in. “Well, I’ll have you know that I make a great minestrone, and that’s what I was planning to have for my dinner tonight. You can join me.”

“I don’t know how to make that.”

“Well, I’ll teach you, and it’ll change your life. I swear it.” He closed the fridge, leaning back against it with a questioning look on his face, and you shrugged, but you felt a lot more comfortable already, the simple banter between you both mending a broken bridge.

“I was supposed to be cooking you dinner though.”

“You can be my sous-chef, how about that?” Now that was a deal you could work with, and you shook his hand, this time it was filled with giggles and wide smiles, as opposed to the last time you’d come to an agreement over breakfast only a few hours ago, the beginning of the day bringing much brighter prospects than the early morning had. “Now, what do you want to do until then?”

That was a good question, and it took you a minute to think about it, eyes glancing around his apartment for inspiration, pausing on the television stand with boxes of games stacked up underneath, and you lit up a little. “How about board games?”

He groaned, loudly, and you found amusement in it once again, being that this was his apartment, and he was finding issues with his own methods of entertainment and possessions. “Nobody plays board games while sober.”

“It's midday! We’re not getting drunk at midday!”

It was scandalous, and you didn’t have much more space to give over to scandals within the next twenty-four hours, pretty much having reached your quota already, and a cheeky look flickered over his features. “Well, we don’t necessarily have to drink..”

“What are you suggesting?”

Your eyes narrowed on him, and he spun on his heel, not saying a thing but letting you follow him. He cleared the books from the coffee table, stacking them all away on the floor in the corner, before lifting up the fold in the middle. He reached inside, and you waited patiently, your jaw dropping as he revealed the item to you, looking more than proud of himself.

A bong, tall with green glass, and it was decorated and bejewelled along the bottom, stickers and actions figures stuck to it, the whole collections making you snort a laugh as you looked at him, before your hands were landing on your hips and a look that you hoped read as ‘seriously?’ written on your face.

“What, you don’t want to?” He waited a moment longer, nibbling on his lower lip, before sitting on the opposite side of the coffee table and finding his lighter. He also reached for the first box on the top of the file, producing a box with one word across the front, brightly coloured and you recognised it. “Suit yourself, but I am. I need something to get through the whole afternoon with you.”

The comment would have stung a lot more had it not been for the cheeky wink that he added onto the end to tell you he was joking, and you sat cross-legged opposite him, picking up the box labelled ‘UNO’ and tipping the deck out into your hands. He clicked at the lighter, waiting for it to spark up, before his mouth was meeting one end of the glass, the contents inside bubbling and gurgling a little as he inhaled, and you dealt out the cards.

He hummed, head tipping back, eyes closed as he settled into the feeling of his eye, and as though he could feel you watching him, his head fell forwards, eyes opening to look at you. “Sure you don’t want any?”

You waited only a moment longer, before huffing out, holding your hand out for them both. “Fine, hand it over.” He placed both pieces on the table, sliding them across the polished wood to you, and you picked them up. Clicking on the flame, you adjusted it in your hand, lips pressing to the cool rim of glass, swilling it a little for good measure, before you were lighting up the end.

Steamy smoke curled up into your lungs as you inhaled deeply, warmth racing through your body as a tingling kind of feeling ran through your throat, tickling and making you grin, in a way that you were familiar with and yet hadn't been accustomed to in a long time. The buzzing feeling raced through your body, already kick-starting nerves and reactions that had felt dormant for a long time.

You hadn't been to a party, a real and exciting college party, since your break up. You’d locked in and sealed yourself away ever since your heart had been broken, and it felt good to adventure back out into the world like this, even if you were locked away with a guy from halfway across town whom you’d known for about twelve hours. “Okay, you were right.”

“Feel better?” He grinned, holding his hand out for the device, and for a little while, the two of you simply shared it between you, letting that initial tingle grow into a proper buzz the world around you beginning to slip away into a haze. Your vision was soft around the edges, slightly out of focus, and the world felt a little more comfortable. Spreading your legs out underneath the coffee table, your back leaned against the couch, feet in his lap as he sat with his legs crossed and folded under him.

When you’d decided your high was enough, you’d started with the games. ‘UNO’ had brought on rivalry and chaos, the two of you raising your voices to the point that you’d been yelling at one another, throats going a little sore as you cursed and laughed, not quite sentient enough now to make the best calls at the game, and so it had felt like it had dragged on for hours, before you had finally been the champion.

He had challenged you to a rematch in the form of a board game called ‘Frustration’, and the two of you had been so busy playing that the time was slipping away around you, the board being flipped by you as he began to win, counters scattering across the floor, and he looked completely and utterly insulted at it, before cracking up laughing with you once again.

After that, you had sprawled all of the games out over the floor, some of them being team games that you were unable to play together, and you’d refused to play a drawing game with him, because you’d peeked at his designs, and were scared to showcase your own drawing in front of him, worried that he’d completely put you to shame and leave you embarrassed.

Poker had been too much of a challenge, half of the pieces for the monopoly board were missing, and you’d done every round of Mario Kart at least once by the time it had come to turning off the console under the TV. Joining you by your side, the two of you were slumped lazily into the couch cushions, shoulders pressed together as the bong sat between you, fresh hits racing through your systems to keep everything exciting, but the thrill of the act itself was beginning to die off, and you were once again out of things to do for entertainment.

At some point, the light outside of the windows had faded, the clumps of snow that had been left along the windowsill were still rising, flakes still falling in flurries from the clouds, except what had once been visible in the day was now dark, the low light of the lamps in the room spilling golden light out across the walls and carpet. Rolling your head to the side, you took in the man sitting before you, watching as he tapped his feet repetitively on the coffee table to the beat of a song you didn’t recognise.

“I looked at your drawings.”

“What?” He paused, twisting to look at you, and he sat up a little further.

“I was being nosey. Earlier, I looked at the drawings in your sketchbook.” His gaze flickered to the leather-bound book in the corner, stacked up with the rest of his belongings, before getting up and putting the bong away, folding the edge of the table back down, and wiping a hand over his face, cheeks tinted pink, and you weren’t sure if it was from the warmth of the room or out of embarrassment. “They’re incredible. Some of the best illustrations I’ve ever seen, actually.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. I could never draw like that. I can’t even draw stick men without them being wobbly, sometimes.” He smiled again at that, and you found an odd feeling running through you at the idea that you were able to make him smile, your stomach clenching and twisting as he looked at you fondly, shaking his head a little, eyes dropping to the floor.

“I don’t get a lot of practice with it, I can’t get any apprenticeships yet because nobody wants to hire someone who’s only experience is in one element. Mine being fantasy-sorts, I suppose.”

“Will you draw me?”

“What?” He looked a little startled, eyes wide, and you shuffled forwards on the couch, hand twitching to reach out and take his as you tried to reassure him, watching uncertainty flick over his face. “I don’t really have experience with drawing people. More the imaginary things, described but never seen, less to fuck up if there’s nothing to compare it to.”

“I don’t think you’ll fuck it up.” He swallowed thickly, moving to kneel on the other side of the table, his sketchbook in hands as he fidgeted with it.

“If I mess it up, don’t make me show you, okay?” You only nodded, and he hesitated a moment longer, before getting himself into a more comfortable position, searching through the drawers around him to find his pencils and equipment, laying them out and taking an extra amount of time to line them all up perfectly, and you were sure it was because he wanted to give himself a spare few seconds to hype himself up to it.

You waited patiently, just now beginning to process what was about to happen, and that you’d have to sit still for a long time, while he stared at you, drawing every highlight and flaw of you, while you remained steady under his gaze for as long as it took. When he was ready, you moved yourself a little more, sinking down onto the floor after rounding the coffee table, sitting at the side of it as he positioned you.

“Can you, um-” He tugged two fingers on his own t-shirt, and you looked down at your hoodie, the hood of it crowding around your shoulders, and you nodded, tugging it up from the bottom and over your head. A cool breeze swept over your skin, exposed with only the thin satin camisole hanging on your body to keep you warm, but you felt yourself light up on fire with the way his eyes swept over you. “However you’re comfortable. I’m just going to draw your head and shoulders, so, do whatever you want.”

You pressed your elbows to the wood, hand forming a loose fist and your cheek pressed to it, leaning like that, a slight ankle, and he nodded his head to himself, seeming to approve of the pose. Picking up a pencil, he studied you for a second, the nib hovering over the paper as he held it at an angle that couldn't see, perfect for him to work on though, before stopping.

Placing the pencil between his lips, he held it there, reaching forwards to pull a few strands of your hair free on either side, framing your face and letting them dangle there, curling one around his finger a little to make it twisted, before he was pulling back. “You’re so pretty.”

After that, he was working. Quick strokes of his pencil over the paper as he created the first outline of you, your head, where and how your hair would fall, your hand holding up your head and down to the spaghetti straps on your shoulders, quick movements, a lot of erasing, and very light brushes of the graphite over the paper. Once he was sure he had the form right, only a few minutes in, he started on the details.

His eyes, lingering on your face, licking at his lips to keep them wet as he worked, parted for short breaths, unaware of what he was doing and you resisted biting down on your own as you looked at him, trying to hold your position. It was hard, the look of concentration on his face while staring at your mouth, or the determination in his eyes as he held your gaze and yet was so far away, taking in every little detail, until he was rubbing his finger over certain spots to create shading, and create the minute detailed with finally sharped tips.

Your arm was sore and neck aching when he finally told you that you could sit up, and you rolled your head from side to side, loosening the muscles and tendons that had begun to lock up from the prolonged length of time motionless. He was clutching the pad to his chest, fingers tapping at the back, some slightly smudged with grey graphite, and you inched closer to him.

“Can I see?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” He tried to laugh at his own comment, but was nervous, and you placed a hand over his gently, pulling it toward you slowly, and he gave no reluctance, but wasn’t moving of his own accord. “Okay, you can look, but you have to remember that I’m not good at drawing people, and I’m still high as fuck.”

You’d almost forgotten about that, and it was just now clicking with you why you’d been bold enough to do something like model for a sketch, your inhibitions lower, the boldness of nightfall giving you yet another boost in something that you’d never have done earlier in the day. Taking it from him, you turned it around, seeing the nervous look on his face before you were looking down at the sketch. His own worries had prepared you for the worst, but as you looked at it, you decided it wasn’t all that bad.

There was certainly work to be done, but he had the basic forms down, even you could tell that. It was clear that his skill lay elsewhere, the detailing of things like fins and scales was nothing like drawing the subtle imperfections of skin and the dips and dimples of a face, the creases where a fist held a head up nothing like the folds along the back of a monster, but he certainly had a grounding to work from, and you loved what you were seeing despite it all.

“I love it.”

“You’re totally lying to me.” He mumbled, and you shook your head, placing the notepad down, and fixing your attention on him. “It fuckin’ sucks.”

“It does not! I think it's really good. Especially since you said you had no practice, I was expecting something bad. This is so much better than you made it out to be.”

His lips flicked up at the sides, his head raising, bringing him a little closer to you as he straightened out, feeling better about it all now. “You should’ve seen some of the things I drew in high school. My portraits were awful back then, but I was drawing people while in the car, so it wasn't the smoothest of working places.”

“Yeah, well, I think you’ve come a long way since high school, and I think you’re really talented.”

He hummed, eyes flicking down to your lips again, and this time, as he licked at his own, there was no excuse of artwork, or anything else, your heart jumping slightly in your chest. There was a moment, a second’s hesitation as you questioned whether this was what you wanted. There was time to stop, to pull back, his nose bumping yours lightly, warm breath washing over your mouth, and you were a second away from closing the gap, before loud knocking was sounding at the door, and making the decision for you.

Pulling back, his gaze went over your head, brows furrowing as he stared at the door. “Hello?”

You winced at the loud shout, and he mumbled an apology upon realising it, slight disappointment surging through you, but not as much as relief. You were growing more and more attached to this man, but at the end of the snowstorm, you’d still have to leave, and he was still a stranger. You were high, and the romanticism of the situation was morphing things to look rose-tinted and alluring, and you wanted to be of a rational mind to make a decision like that. “Hey, Joel! It’s Mandy, I was wondering if you would grab your stuff from the laundry room, so I can put a couple of loads through?”

His eyes went wide, gaze dropping to your own for a second. “Shit, I totally forgot about the laundry!”

His hand slipped down to yours, fingers lacing together as he tugged you up from the floor, handing you the basket that had been discarded hours ago, and he opened the door, an older woman who looked positively exhausted, arms full of boy’s clothing, and you pitied her knowing that she must be trapped in a shoebox apartment with a son who would be bouncing off of the walls and unable to burn off that energy.

“Sorry, Mandy, I forgot about it. We’ll grab it now.”

“We?” You muttered, the woman’s eyes flickering over you in amusement, and you were tugged out of the apartment and towards the stairs quickly, hearing the door close behind you, and the much slower steps of the tired mother as she trailed you.

The concrete was cold underfoot, especially the lower you got, and you hissed as your sock-covered feet hit the icy stone, never having had a chance to put on your shoes. Putting the container down, he opened it up, steam curling out into the air, even though the dryer had been finished for hours.

‘You couldn't have let me put my jumper on before we came down here? It’s literally freezing over right outside that window.” You mumbled, Joel turning to you, and he cringed a little, as though he had only just remembered the scrap of fabric you were wearing as a top. Pulling an armful of the warm clothing, he sorted through them, pulling a cosy looking jacket from within, and wrapping it over your shoulders. Heat seeped back into your body, warmed from the machine, and you barely noticed the mother entering the room, waiting for Joel to clear his clothes out, watching as you ripped the hoodie up along the front of your body, hood pulled up and hands made into paws by the long sleeves.

“You look cute.”

“I look cold.” You retorted, and he only rolled his eyes, but Mandy laughed, and that was enough recognition for you.

“Yeah, well, we can make some hot food when we get upstairs and you’ll be fine, how about that?” He sat the collection under one arm, offering his other hand to you, and you pushed up the sleeve of the borrowed hoodie, weaving your fingers with his as he guided you from the room.

“I’ve been waiting for this minestrone you’ve been boasting about. I need to see if it lives up to the hype.

“Hey, everyone loves my minestrone!” He backed his way into the home, dropping your hand in order to place down the basket that wouldn’t be looked at for hours now, you were sure. He ushered you into the kitchen, hurting you along until his hands were tickling at your sides and you were squirming under his touch, laugh loudly as he pushed you into the little room.

You worked alongside him, trying to take in the information he was giving to you but it was hard, because the little things he was doing were distracting you. The way in which his hands moved as he chopped the vegetables or prepare the meat, the passionate easy his voice sounded as he told you all about it, his eyes sparkling a little while instructing you, and the little jokes he’d make while bumping you out of the way with his hip, or guiding you around with nudges of his elbow or shoulders.

While cooking, he opened up a little, a story that you’d never have expected to learn from him, but he told you anyway. His parents had died in a car accident when he was young, too young to really remember them, but he’s been allowed to take several boxes of things with him to his foster home as he waited for adoption, and he’d taken his mother’s recipe book as one of those items.

When he’d been adopted, a man whose family had died and he’d become a foster parent, had helped him experiment with his cooking and drawing, instead of forcing him into typical paths for men to take, making him become a football player or a lawyer like he’d expected he’d end up after leaving the system.

A younger sister, also adopted from another family called Minnow, and a dog adopted from a shelter called ‘Boy’, and suddenly, in the space of time that it had taken to make the meal, delicious smell floating around you, he’d spilled to you his history, and you’d listened quietly as he got it off his chest, figuring out somewhere along the way that you were probably one of the only people to ever know this story.

You weren’t sure if that brought you comfort or not, whether he was telling you out of trust and connection, or whether he was telling you because he knew that you’d never see one another again after today, and so he didn’t mind sharing his deepest protected truths. During the heavy discussion, the nibbling of food and the time passing you by, the high you’d once claimed was beginning to fizzle out, everything coming back to sharpness once again, and yet somehow, just by being in his presence, you still felt that same freedom.

When you were sitting back at the table, he was staring at you with excitement now, watching as you lifted a spoonful of the concoction to your lips to try it, seemingly leaving behind the heavy conversation that had taken place as he simply moved on. You took a longer than needed time to assess it, humming contemplatively just to put him through his paces, before finally giving in.

“Okay, this is really good, I’ll give you that.”

“I told you so!” He cheered loudly, arms thrown up in the air, and you laughed a little, tucking into your meal, and wiping up one of the bread rolls that he'd placed into the middle of the table for you both.

You were tempted to ask him for the recipe, knowing that one day you’d be craving it again, and yet, you weren’t sure if you could, whether it would be appropriate or whether that would be crossing a line, to ask to take away a piece of something that he shared with his late mother.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.” You spoke, tearing off a mouthful of bread roll after dipping it into the soup mix, and chewing slowly as you waited for him to reply.  

“Did you mean it?” You paused your chewing, confusion making itself known on your face as you silently questioned what he meant, stirring your dinner with your spoon as you waited for him to elaborate, and he swallowed his mouthful to do so. “When you said my name sounded like a first draft of a name.”

For the umpteenth time today, embarrassment and regret was flooding through you, and you took your time to finish the food you were eating, his gaze lingering on you as he waited. When you couldn't stall any longer, you sipped at your water, before giving in. “Yes, I did.” His mouth pursed into a thin line, and you reached a hand out across the table, trying to contain your amusement. “Like, a really good first draft, though, almost there!”

“Nice save.”

Silence fell between you both once again, eating food in a comfortable quiet, and once again the direct parallel to this morning’s porridge struck through you, only twelve hours having passed and yet absolutely everything was different between you both. You couldn't put your finger on what it was about him, something that had caught your attention the first time around had now got you captive again, and there was just something adorably charming about everything he did.

Handsome but bashful, shy but cocky, always making jokes but somehow being able to jump right into something deep and meaningful too, and you’d closed yourself off for so long that it was a little scary for everything you were feeling to come rushing back all at once.

You hadn't had a crush since high school, and you weren’t sure if you liked the idea of one forming now.

“What about the other thing, did you mean that, too?” You searched your mind, reliving that argument as you tried to work out what he was referring to, and you almost dropped your spoon as it all came crashing down, remembering the harsh words that you’d spat in the eat of the moment, and yet it didn’t make them any less true. You only nodded your head, and he let out a loud groan, pouting a little. “Well, that fucking sucks.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s really hard to do! Women are just better at doing that themselves, y’know? We don’t have to talk about it.”

“That doesn't help! You can’t just, like, drop a bomb on me like that; ‘hey, maybe you've never made a girl come in your entire freakin’ life’ and then say you don’t want to talk about it!” He pushed his empty dish away from himself, and your brows raised, arms crossing over atop the table, staring at him critically, and deciding you were finished with your food. “I want to talk!”

“No way! Guys can't handle constructive criticism like that! We’ll end up just like we were this morning, and then we’ll be back to square one! I like how we are now!”

“No! I promise you, I can take it. Just, help me out, here?” He reached out, pushing the dishes out of the way so that nothing was in the way, putting on his best puppy dog eyes. “You help me, I’ll help you.”

“What do you mean help me? You think you got pointers for me?”

“This isn’t a one-way street! Last night was awesome, but you could improve on a few things too. Guess you’ll never know, now, though.” He sighed, glancing off over your head, and you knew it was bait, some very obvious bait at that, and you hated to fall for it, but your own insecurities were getting the best of you, and you huffed loudly.

“Fine!” He turned back to you, a wicked smile on his lips as he realised that clearly, he had won. “I bite, you got me. Go!”

“Okay, this isn't just you, I just wanna’ make that clear to start with.” You raised a brow, leaning back in your chair, arm still crossed and listening intently. “What is with the whole lights off, thing? The fuck is that? If the lights are off, like you requested and I so gentlemanly obliged, I could be having sex with anything! I don’t want to be having sex with anything, I want to be having sex with you.” He paused, eyes darting away from you for only a second, and he wet his lips. “Or, y’know, whoever it is I’m with.”

“Lights on? Wow, and all guys feel this way?” He opened his mouth to reply, before you were letting out a loud ‘booing’ sound. “Duh! Girls hear that more than ‘hello’. That’s all you got?”

“Okay, okay, alright.” He smirked slightly, leaning forwards and resting his forearms on the table. “You, and by you, I mean women in general, do this thing where you stand up, and kinda’ turn away, and then get undressed, like, super-fast. Like you’re at the doctors or something, getting a physical!”

“I’ve never had any complaints about how fast I undress before. Most guys like naked me.”

“I love naked you.” He dropped his gaze, scanning along your body, and you threw a bread roll at him as you realised he was remembering you without your clothes on from the night before, the soft accompaniment bouncing from his head and rolling over the table. “Hey! I’m just saying! Naked you is awesome to look at, and touch, but what I mean is that you could make the getting to being naked part a little more exciting.”

“Exciting?”

“Yeah! You know, do that whole slow bra thing, take it off to the side. Drop it in that sexy way. Do that little ass thing with your panties, y’know, where you just-” He wiggled in his seat, demonstrating the little as movement that all girls did with their panties when they wanted to feel a little sexy. “All I’m saying is that guys like the undressing part too, make it more of a.. thing.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, actually. One more thing.” He paused, this seemingly the one he was most nervous about, and you leaned forward on your elbows, watching him lean in a little too, rolling his lips before speaking. “When I was inside of you, you did this thing. You started helping yourself a little bit, it kind of made me feel like I was being benched. Second-string, forgotten.”

“Duly noted.” You mumbled, and he shrugged a little, the space between you both going void of sound but crackling with electricity. “Is it my turn now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t know who taught guys to do that alphabet thing with their tongue, but it kind of makes me feel like I’m Helen Keller being fucked by her teacher.”

“That’s not a fantasy of yours?” He faked shock, and you tried to cover up your laugh to keep the conversation as serious as you could, and he tried to still himself, nodding for you to continue.

“There was this one moment, during foreplay, where I was close to coming, and I’m pretty sure I subtly pointed it out. Do you remember what I said?”

“Uh, ‘I’m close to coming’?”

“Yes, that’s it!” He scowled falsely, unsure where you were going with this, and it was your turn to smirk a little. “Right after I said that, you totally switched up what you were doing. What was the thought process there? If you had me right there at third, home base in sight, why would you start running in a different direction?”

“Okay, got it. That’s actually helpful.”

“All my tips are helpful! Like, also, you waited for me to undress you. Which was awkward, and a little weird, don’t do that.” You were almost out of advice, pausing for a second to think. “When a girl helps out, that's a good thing! This is sex, not a competition, my ex was weird about that too, just embrace the team spirit, it makes it better for everyone.” He nodded, and you felt a little out of breath, but a weight lifted off your shoulders. “Oh! Yeah, you went too fast. I felt like I was being drilled for oil. Girls want fast, but also slow. Kinda’ felt like you were in a rush, had somewhere better to be.”

“Trust me, I didn’t.”

“Obviously.” You teased, and he grinned, taking in all the information you were giving him. “Lastly, I guess it’s just after. Like, as soon as we finished, you retreated to the other side of the bed like you’d planted a bomb down there. Stick around, hold a girl, count to ten or something. That one will get you a long way, trust me.”

“Cuddling. Noted.”

“Other than that, you were a perfectly adequate lover.” He gaped at you a little, and his whole body sagged.

“Adequate? What a way to boost a guy’s ego.”

“See, I knew this would happen, you’re-”

“Fine! I’m fine!” He reached out, placing a hand over one of yours, and squeezing comfortingly. “Seriously, now I know. I can make use of that advice next time.” He offered you a smile, and you tried to return it, nervous butterflies making you feel a little nauseous as you tried to settle yourself, no indication that he was angry or upset with you. “You said something about your ex in there, y’know. Is that why you broke up, crappy sex?”

You knew it was meant as a joke, something to lighten the mood, but your stomach dropped. “Uh, no.” You cleared your throat, hands pulling from his to clasp them in your lap as you looked away. “That would’ve been because I found him in our bed with one of my friends.”

The air went dead, silence encased you, and you heard the legs of his chair scrape on the floor as he pushed it back. Kneeling in front of you, he took your hands in his, forcing you to meet his eye. “I’m really sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“It’s okay. At least I know she isn't getting much.”

He chuckled, but it was dry and empty, and he reached up, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “For the record, I think he’s a dipshit. You’re an amazing girl, anybody who would cheat on you isn’t worth you.”

“Thanks, Joel.”

He stood up, pulling you with him, until you were standing up once again. “Go find another film. I’ll get us all sorted here. Anything you want, it’ll cheer you up.” You waited a moment longer, ready to do as he’d said, before a set of lips were brushing against your forehead, and your breath hitched in your throat. Pressing into the touch just a little, it was almost embarrassing how you reacted, how much you’d missed simple affections, how it felt to be excited around someone instead of just bored or dreading having to see them, the excitement of once again experiencing the thrill of something invigorating and new. “I’m honestly sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Kinda’ is.” He mumbled, fingers playing with yours lightly where your hands were still hanging connected, and the whole experience was a little different. This wasn’t a near-miss kiss while high after the intimacy of drawing one another, nor was it holding hands in the rush to get to the laundry room while hopped up on adrenaline and a little embarrassment. “He’s a moron, and he didn’t deserve you. Neither did your friend, if she’d do something like that to you.”

“They deserve each other.”

“Atta’ girl.” He teased, squeezing your hand once more, before letting you go, and as you settled down onto the couch cushions, you had to try hard just to steady your racing heart as you scroll through movies on Netflix, perched happily along the couch, but it was a little chilly, the space heater was barely holding its own against the chill of the outside.

“You got any blankets?” You didn’t even bother turning your head as you shouted the words, still exploring the film choices, and this time, you went for something a little more exciting. A ‘Mission Impossible’ movie was always a hit, right? Everybody loves Tom Cruise.

“Yes, I do.” You jumped, never having heard him moving around, and he stood before you, a fluffy looking blanket bundled in his arms, and you made grabby-hands for it with a grin. He shook his head, slumping down beside you on the ouch, and you bounced a little with the movements he made. “What, you think I read your mind? This blanket is for me, but I might just share it with you.”

“Yeah, what’s the catch?”

“You have to smile, so I know you’re really okay.” You couldn’t help it, trying to bite back the grin on your face as you flushed with shy heat, and he whooped loudly upon seeing the expression. Spreading the blanket out across you both, his fingers brushed across your skin, tucking it around your thighs and over your waist as he and sure you were covered, before his arm was stretching out along the back of the couch behind you.

“You’re too smooth for your own good.”

“Don’t get used to it, I’m incredibly awkward and not nearly as brave, usually.” You rolled your eyes, nudging your shoulder against his but not bothering to say anything, and starting up the movie.

Tucking your legs underneath yourself, you adjusted the blanket, your feet cold as you lifted them up from the cooled flooring, and directing your attention over to your phone. It had been hours since you’d check it, since you'd even felt the need to know whether anyone else had been in touch with you, and even as that realisation came to mind, you still didn’t budge to collect it.

Earlier in the day, you had been bitter and wishing to be home, where you’d inevitably only be locked up tight in your own bedroom and watching movies to pass the time away, listening to Sophie and her boyfriend move around the apartment, trapped in permanently third-wheeling until the snow melted. Now, you were happy, knowing that you’d made a new friend, and that you were at least venturing back out into the world for the first time since having your heart broken.

A hand came down, fingers playing with the edges of your hair lightly, twirling a light strand between his fingers, and as you swept your gaze over the man a foot or so away from you on the couch, his eyes were still fixed on the screen of the television. His fingers brushed against your neck occasionally, and each time, you had to suppress the urge to shiver. It was an invitation, the changing for day to night once again shifting everything between you both, unspoken words to invite you closer, easy for you to choose to take, or not to take, and nothing would be said about it at all.

Your entire body ran over with goosebumps, and your fingers picked lightly at the blanket, unsure of which move you wanted to make. On the one hand, you could definitely take that step, move a little closer and risk falling into that again, or you could stay where you were, play it safe and not risk a thing. Fold your cards and wait for the next round.

“I’ll just be a minute, okay?”

You stood up, his hand falling away from yourself and the blanket laying down on the couch, and he nodded his head, a barely present smile on his face as he nodded his head, and you slipped away, giving yourself just a moment to think as you disappeared to the bathroom. Closing the door behind yourself, you leaned back against it, letting out a deep breath and trying to clear your mind, weighing the pros and cons of where this night might go.

Shaking yourself down a little, you felt the tension flee from your body, and you placed your hands onto the sink, staring at yourself in the mirror hanging over it. You were always playing it safe, always had, and maybe that’s why your ex had adventured and found excitement somewhere else, needing the thrill of it, because you never took risks.

If you hadn't taken a risk last night, you wouldn't be here now, and after all, you’d had a great day. Maybe it would blow up and backfire, maybe when the snow melted you’d never see him again, maybe it wouldn't work out, but you’d never know if you didn’t at least try.

“Oh, woman up. For once in your life.” You muttered, running the water and splashing a little of the cool liquid over your face, refreshing yourself with just how icy cold it was, a little hiss leaving you. Shaking your hands off and patting your face dry, you ran a hand through your hair, deciding you were ready. Uncapping the toothpaste, you took a small chunk from it on your finger, placing the blob onto your tongue and licking it around your mouth for freshness, doing the best you could to clean your teeth a little, before using your hands as a cup and rinsing with some water.

At least you felt a little fresher and more alluring now. A good confidence booster, because fuck it, you were all in.

Stepping back out into the main room, you undid the zipper on the hoodie of his that you’d borrowed, letting it hang open along the front, the thin satin of your camisole on display, the material falling away from one shoulder as it hung baggy on your body now that it was open. Upon your return, he turned to look at you, lips parting a little as his eyes flickered along your body, gaze lingering on the exposed skin of your shoulder, your arms, the midriff shown between the edge of your top and the hem of your leggings, before his jaw was snapping shut, and he met your eyes again, only for a split second, before looking back to the movie.

Lifting the edge of the blanket, you sat a little closer to him than you had been before, your arm brushing against his side as you got comfy, and you heard him let out a slightly shaky breath, fingers tapping against the back of the couch, behind where your head had once been, now further down the couch as you sat close enough to smell the lingering aftershave on his skin.

Five long minutes passed, and you almost thought you’d overstepped, that he didn’t want this as much as you thought he would, that the connection was one-sided, but then his hand slipped down, fingers brushing over the bare skin of your shoulder on the side where the jacket had dipped down, nails scraping slightly, before the rest of his arm followed. Slipping it around your shoulders, his hand hung over you, playing lightly with the spaghetti strap of your top, running along the silky material, under it, playing with it in slow and absentminded patterns, and you contained yourself from celebrating out loud, or doing something that wouldn't be considered as ‘playing it cool’.

You paused, giving it just enough time, the feeling of roughened fingertips rubbing along your skin, and after a moment, you realised it was being inched a little further over. As the strap fell away, falling over your arm again, his movements paused, everything going still for just a second, before his fingertips were pressing to bare skin again. Twisting towards him a little more, you pressed up to his side, lifting a leg until the lower half of your legs were tangled together as they sat ahead of you, propped up on the coffee table.

He hummed a little under his breath, your head adjusting to rest on his shoulder, and he dared to reach his fingers a little lower than just along your shoulder, brushing as far as the undersides of your collarbones, and you cuddled in a little closer to him still.

“I can’t stop thinking about what you said.” His words were gruff, voice low and gravelling as he kept his tone to just above a whisper, and you rolled your lips together for a second, trying to settle on your words.

“And what would that be?”

“Well, y’know, all the improvements I could make. I’ve been thinking about it.” You only hummed, fingers smoothing over his stomach and across towards his side until you were holding onto him, and the muscles underneath tensed and rippled under the soft cotton tee he was wearing. “But, I’d never really know if I was getting it right until I put it into practice.”

“Well, that does make sense.”

“Yeah, and I mean, I’d need someone who could tell me, give me real talk.” He was continuing on with the rouse, the playful energy between you both sparkling, and the movie was long-forgotten, simply becoming background noise.

“Makes sense. Someone to guide you as you go.”

“Exactly.” He mumbled, turning himself enough to drag the tip of his nose over your cheek, and you tipped your head back a little, making it easier for him as his lips brushed your cheek. “Know anyone up for the task?”

“I think I might know someone.” You whispered, hand coming up to lace into his hair, and he rumbled happily at the scrape of your nails over his scalp.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You promised, and he grinned, shifting enough to let his mouth slant across yours, a kiss that was more than overdue. Lifting a hand to sit on his jaw, he pressed into you a little further, one hand still behind the couch, while the other was sliding down to find your waist, the blanket falling away and the movie becoming nothing but background noise as his lips worked softly with your own.

You’d expected hot and sloppy, but he was taking it slower this time, sweet and passionate, not nearly as desperate as you’d been anticipating, and your heart was racing in your chest with the tenderness in which he kissed you. Once the blanket was kicked from your legs, his hand dipped a little lower, smoothing around your lower back, and pulling you in towards him until you could drape a leg over his thighs. Settling into his lap, both of hands were sitting low on your hips, teeth grazing along your lower lip as the what between you both seemed to double, and you pressed a little closer into him.

“Put your hands, just-” You took a hold of his wrists, lowering his hands a little, your forehead pressed to his as you pushed them around until he could hold fistfuls of your ass through your leggings, squeezing tightly, and you keened into his touch. Rocking your hips down into his own, you gasped, his grunt at the feeling being silenced as your lips closed back over his, and he hummed happily when your tongue dragged slowly against his.

For each rock you made down into him, his hips were jumping, small thrust upwards to meet you, and it became more frantic with every little movement. He was growing underneath you, the material of his sweats doing little to hide the hardening cock that seemed to twitch and jump each time you dragged your core along his length, even through the layers of material, and you could feel yourself growing wetter and weather, uncomfortably so the longer your went, but the pressure was perfect, an orgasm already beginning to grow within you.

When the burn for oxygen became too much, he pulled back, lips worked along your jaw slowly, soft sucks that weren’t hard enough to leave bruises but sent sparks of electricity and excitement flooding through you each time, nips at your skin as he worked his way down your neck, until he was biting teasingly at the shoulder with the strap of your top still hanging over your arm, bare skin exposed to him. “You know, not a criticism, just a compliment, but you really got kissing down to an art.”

He chuckled against your skin, a little breathless, but still enough to make you tremble at the feeling, before he was making his way back up to you, nose dragging over your skin until his mouth could brush against yours. “Is that so?”

“Totally.” You mumbled, your hand slipping into his hair to hold onto a fistful as his mouth crashed back into your own, and he put those skills to good use. He all but knocked the oxygen from your lungs with the intensity of it, leaving your head spinning and lungs burning but you were unable to pull away, the addictive way that his mouth worked with your own, so sensual and intimate that you were flaring up with heat, and you finally knew what it felt like when people said there were fireworks in a kiss, because you felt as though the fourth of July was exploding around you.

“Bedroom?”

“Absolutely.” You mumbled, having to tear yourself away from his kisses, diving back in a few times, before finally, you managed to pull yourself away. You took his hands in your own, pulling him up with you as the two of you moved, and his hands found your hips, guiding you in your backwards walking steps as he followed behind you; foreheads pressed together, occasionally pressing sweet kisses to one another, giggles shared into the air between you until you came to a stop in the doorway.

Turning around, you paused, more of a laugh erupting from you.

“First criticism, messy sheets is a turn off.” He sounded confused for a second, mouth leaving where he had been kissing along your neck, his head coming up to take a look, and he huffed a little.

“Right, yeah, forgot about that. Let me just-” He moved away, on side of the bed to straighten the blankets out, pushing the pillows back up to the top end of the bed, and you helped out, smoothing over them until the job was done haphazardly, but at least it least it was no longer messy, and he stood on the opposite side from you, hands on his hips for a second. “Better?”

“Much.” He nodded his head, licking over his lips, and taking the lower one prisoner as his gaze swept over you, His hair was a little messy, cheeks flushed and lips swollen, and you were certain that you looked exactly the same, the tension between the two of you sizzling. You couldn't handle it, the two of you meeting halfway as you knelt on the bed, his body colliding with yours and lips meeting in frenzied kisses as you connected again.

He reached a hand behind his head, tugging his shirt up and away from his body, a delicious display of flexing muscles and veiny forearms as he discarded of it, shaking the hair that flopped down into his face free.

“That was hot.”

“All I did was take off my shirt?” He whispered, pulling back when you tried to kiss him so that he could raise his brows in silent questioning.

“We like that. When you do that whole ‘taking your shirt off with one hand behind your head’ thing. Plus, you just looked good while doing it.” He looked down at himself, before back up to you, hands cupping your face to bring you in closer to him, and he pressed a series of pecks to your lips, until you were laughing lightly and pushing him back with hands spread over his chest.

He followed you as you stood, and you undid the rest of the zip on the hoodie, letting it fall open, and down your arms slowly, and he watched it go, until the material was crumpled in a pile around your feet. Placing your hands on his chest, you pushed him backwards, until his knees were buckling against the mattress and he was sitting down, staring up at you with wide eyes and parted lips, waiting for your next move. With a finger under his chin, you tipped his face upwards, enough to be able to peck his lips, before you were stepping away from him.

Turning away, you heard him shuffling, the ruffling of material and the slight creaking of the bed, before it was silent, and you took a steadying breath. Crossing your arms over your middle, you tugged the satin top up slowly, brushing your own fingers over your skin, and you heard him groan behind you as it hit the floor, hair falling back down your back upon being freed from the material. Hooking your fingers into the edge of your leggings, you peeled them down your legs, bending at the waist, and removing them from your feet, slowly, before turning back to face him, clad only in your panties.

His eyes were half-lidded, and jaw hanging slack, only clad in his boxers now, but he was palming himself through the material as he sat propped up in the pillows, and you rounded to his side of the bed, one of his hands reaching out for you, and you took it, a gentle hold as his fingers weaved with yours.

“How was that?”

“So fucking hot.” He mumbled, the hand that he had been using to rub at his hard cock through his boxers came free, a wet patch left across the front of the pale checkered fabric, precum soaking into them and your thighs clenched at the idea of having that effect on him. Running the tip of one finger under the waistband of your panties, he tugged you a little closer to him still, before snapping the elastic against your skin. “What about these?”

“Figured you might want to do that.”

Your eyes dropped to his mouth, before meeting his gaze again, only a split second slip, but he was smirking, clearly having seen it. Before you could even process what he was doing, his arms had wrapped around your middle, twisting you around and lifting you to lay in the bed beside where he had been, your head in the pillows and his arms holding him up on either side of you, and you panted a little, the yelp that had left you making you breathless.

“Holy shit.”

“Couldn’t help it. You say dirty things and it makes me feel a little wild.” His legs were caging you in, moving lower and lower as he kissed his way over your collarbones, lips and tongue leaving wet trails between your breasts as he lowered himself further and further.

“Wild is good. I like wild.”

“Hm, I hope so.” He whispered the words, tongue grazing along the sensitive skin above your panties, before he was tapping at your hips with his fingers, and you were lifting them for him to shimmy your panties down. Once you were bare before him, you grew a little shy once again, legs snapping shut, and he chuckled, a hand landing on each knee, and he pressed kisses along the tops of your thighs. “Please don’t be shy, gorgeous. You’re so damn beautiful, you have nothing to be shy about.”

Squeezing his hands at your knees, you twitched a little, pushing yourself up onto your elbows to peer down at him, and he grinned, pressing a kiss to your stomach, before leaning up and pressing an equally quick but sweet kiss to your lips.

“Open up your pretty legs for me, yeah?”

You couldn't hold back, the way he was talking to you and touching you, loving caresses that soothed your nerves, and he groaned under his breath as your slick core was revealed to him. Legs bending at the knees, you planted your feet flat on the bedding, and he was able to settle on his stomach between them, hot breath fanning over your core.

His arms wrapped around your thighs, fingertips digging into them roughly, and he rubbed a hand up and down them slowly, the twitching in your gut coming to a still as he still managed to find time and sentience to ease your nerves as he pressed his mouth in sweet kisses along the insides of your thighs, biting a little at the top and chuckling as he felt you jerk in surprised shock. Lacing a hand into his hair just as his mouth moved to close over your core, you tugged lightly, his eyes flickering up to find yours. “What’s wrong, gorgeous? Did I mess something up?”

“No, no, you’re perfect.” Your words were panted out, and you were trembling while holding yourself up, but you shook your mind clear, trying to focus enough to break through the haze. “Just wanted to say thank you. You’re being such a sweetheart, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this confident before, so before my mind completely clears, I wanted to say that.”

He paused, a look flicking over his features to expose that he clearly didn’t expect that, and there was a much more adoring smile on his face as he processed your words. “It’s my pleasure, you’re worth it, and you deserve a guy to treat you like the special and incredible woman that you are.”

You choked a little on your breath, unsure of how to reply, so you swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding your head, before pushing his back down a little. “Okay, enough heart-to-heart crap. You can continue now.”

“As you wish, princess.”

He dragged his tongue once along your core slowly, and you took a sharp inhale of breath, the feeling of a hot and wet mouth working over you was something that you’d sorely missed, and while Joel had gone down on you yesterday too, this would be so much better and you already knew it. Instead of rushed and nervous, it was erotic and confident, sure in your movements, and sure that he could be the best you’d ever had, you could tell just from the way this night was going so far, that these memories would be burned in your mind for the rest of your life.

Rubbing a thumb over your clit, he chuckled at the way your thighs trembled slightly, before he was pulling away, diving in to replace his finger with his mouth. Lips sucking at the little bud, your fingers tightened in his hair, back arching at the feeling, and he licked over the bud, before repeating the process. Again, and again, and then, he was replacing his movements. Tongue flicking out, rapid kitten licks over the bud, and you squealed a little, thighs clamping around his head as you did, and you whined a little.

“Wait, Joel!” He paused after a moment, your entire body still tingling with the feeling of his mouth, but your legs loosened as he pulled them open, brows raising at you, and slick was already glistening on his chin. “Good, but can be better. Start slow, don’t go right in, tease me a little. Speed up when I’m closer, okay?”

“I thought girls hated being teased?”

“We can love it, if you do it right. You’ll know when to speed up, okay? Start slow, add a finger, then another, speed up when I’m getting close.” He nodded his head, a lopsided smile on his face, and he was taking your advice. He started slow, a long and torturous drag of his tongue over your core, and then again, before his tongue circled your entrance for a moment, barely dipping inside long enough to matter, but then he lapped at your core again. Lips sealing around your clit, he sucked harshly, your back arching up from the bed, your free hand finding purchase tangling in the bedding, and you moaned, loudly. “Fuck, yes, Joel. Just like that.”

He groaned into your body, the feeling reverberating along your skin, and one hand moved from your thigh, slipping along and disappearing from your skin until the tip of one nimble digit was circling your entrance, rubbing lightly across your weeping hole. Filthy sounds were already filling the room, and your mind was going completely blank, the only thing you could process right now was the movements of his mouth against you, tongue and lips working in tandem to drive you crazy as you bucked up into him, holding his face against your core as he slurped and sucked at every drop you had to release.

Slipping that finger into you, he had clearly taken our tip on teasing, because he only sunk it within you to the first knuckle, barely present at all, and yet your walls were clamping around him greedily, desperately trying to draw him deeper in as you felt him twist it a little, circling the finger and beginning to stretch you out, crooking it at the knuckle and tugging a little in your entrance as he began to pump it. A cry of his name left you as he bit down on your swollen clit lightly, the bud throbbing in response, and your entire body jumped at the sensation, loving the way he was taking control with it now.

Each time his finger dipped back into you, he sank a little further, his finger and tongue working in harmony, the same pace with their movements, and your entire body was layered in a thin sheen of shining sweat as he took you apart piece by piece. His hips were grinding down into the covers as he worked, the rustling of the covers giving it away, and he was grunting and growling against your every so often, his eyes closed as he enjoyed his motions just as much as you did, and you forced your hand free from him hair as you realised just how tight your fist had gotten. Just when you thought you might be getting used to this feeling, that you might be able to clear the fog in your mind enough to think straight, he sensed it, upping his ministrations.

“Fuck, Joel!” The coil in your stomach wound up ten times tighter in a matter of seconds as that dull tingling at your entrance made itself known, a second finger taking you by surprise as it plunged inside of you, and your back arched up so high your hips followed, borderline screaming as he picked up his pace. “I-I’m going to-”

“Come? Do it, come on, gorgeous. Give me all you got.” Faster movements, the tandem between his fingers and his mouth going to shit, as he continued to work his fingers in and out of you slowly, but his tongue was picking up his pace again. Switching between sucking and licking, you could barely process what was happening each time, and tears lined your eyes as you felt fire beginning to consume you.

Heat flooded your body, bliss filling every cell in your body and coursing through you until it was all-consuming, and you unravelled against him in a fit of squirming screams, his hands holding you to his mouth as he rode you through the pleasure, two fingers stretching you wide and scissoring you open each time, never giving up on his movements until you couldn't take it anymore.

You pushed him away, panting and gasping for breath, and his eyes were blown with lust as he pulled away, cheeks and chin shining with your arousal, your hand falling over your chest, feeling the erratic beating of your heart under your palm as your eyes closed, trying to contain the way you were feeling. Your throat was already scratchy, growing rough from the calls and cries of his name that you’d released.

“Good?”

“Is that even a question?” You teased, and he collapsed down into the bed beside you, wiping the back of his hand over his jaw, before you leaned in to kiss him, taking his lips with your own, and he let out a needy sound into your mouth as you did. He was rubbing at his jaw, pressing his lips lazily with your own as you kissed him, and he pressed you back down into the bed, leaning over you and letting his body press into yours.

One hand moved to his boxers, pushing them down, kicking them away until they were removed from his body. Leaning over you, a dripping cock brushed along your thigh, your leg raising up a little to rub against him, and he grunted into your mouth, biting down on your lower lip in warning, as he rooted through the nightstand to find a condom. Upon retrieving the package, he sat back on his heels, tearing it with his teeth and throwing the wrapper to the ground, a problem to be dealt with later, and he rolled the rubber along his length.

Long and flushed red, his cock was standing tall and proud, and you rubbed your thighs together a little, watching as he pumped himself slowly, eyes dragging over your body. You could see the cogs working in his mind, before he backed away from you entirely. Moving to the switch on the wall, he turned down the lights, leaving them on a little, but lowering them to a more comfortable level.

“Compromise?”

“I can work with that.” You offered, holding your hands out to him, and the bed bounced a little as he came to laying over the top of you. One leg was pressed between yours, and you shuffled, pressing yourself down against the muscle of his thigh, and a deep sound bubbled up from within him as you rode yourself against his thigh, kissing along his neck, and his head tipped back.

“For the record, I like hickies.”

You paused, a beat passing, before your mouth was sealing over the patch where his neck joined his shoulders, and he groaned loudly as you sucked at the skin harshly. Tipping his head back, his arms trembled a little dipping down until your chests were pressed together, and with every rolled of your core against his leg, your chest dragged over his, the friction making your nipples grown perky, and you whimpered into his neck, lapping at the spot you were abusing.

When you were finished, you pressed a sweet kiss over it, purple already beginning to blossom beneath the splotchy red on his pale skin, and he let out a shaky breath. Brushing your thumb over it, you smirked at the mark you’d made, before finally looking back up to him. Reaching a hand between your bodies, you took his cock in your hand, pumping slowly and watching as his jaw dropped slightly, before you were shifting your legs to accommodate his body and lining his length up at your core.

He rocked forwards, sinking into you slowly, and just like that, everything went fuzzy around you once again. It was like he was your only focus, everything was falling away until it was only him that remained, and your hands found his cheeks, pulling him down to kiss you. You were drowning in his touch, his hips nestled against your own as he gave you a moment to adjust to his size with you, that same twinge of an ache you’d felt this morning coming back in full force, but overpowered by the racing lust that was taking over.

When you felt ready, you clenched around him, curling your hips and feeling his cock shift within you, a gasp falling from you as the head of his cock brushed over your g-spot, and he took that chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Hot and wet, everything felt like it was in overdrive as you lit up, and his hands were pressed into the mattress on either side of your head as he began to shift, hips drawing out of you, before sinking back in, and he took his time, moving slowly and waiting for you to tell him when he could speed up.

Lifting a leg up and onto his hip, he sank even deeper within you, your walls fluttering around him as you let out joint sounds of pure ecstasy, and his movements stuttered for only a moment at the feeling. One hand came down, fingertips digging into the muscle of your thighs so tightly that you’d be speckled with little polka dot bruises come morning, a sinful thought that made you head spin. You felt carefree, for the first time in your life, there was no doubts or anxiety, just the way it felt to be touched and cared for by him, the way his gaze swept so delicately over your face, or the way his lips puckered a little, curling up at the sides in a smile when your mouth pressed to his.

Hooking your hands under his arms, you encouraged him on, nails digging into his skin and dragging tracks into the flesh, his back arching up to push into your touch, and his pace began to pick up. He took his time, building the pace, and you’d never felt like this before. A high you’d never experienced was beginning to set in, your hips moving in time to match his thrusts.

He was panting into your mouth, hot and erotic as your foreheads remained pressed together, his lashes tickling against your cheeks, and every soft moan of your name that he let out made you want to scream out with pure bliss, because the way his voice cracked around your name made everything within you crumble. He made you weak, he made you completely fall apart, and you weren’t sure how or why, yet you found yourself loving it.

It was raw and exposed, your heart and soul open to him, and instead of crushing it like you’d grown to expect from everyone around you, he was taking care of it. You pushed up into him, pleasure surging through you, broken stutters of his name as he fucked into you, hard and fast, driving deep, and the tip of his cock was pressing to your g-spot each time, pinpoint accuracy as you weren't sure if he even knew that he was making stars flash behind your eyes.

“Joel, don’t stop! I’m so close!”

You moved, licking over two fingers, and making to slip them between your bodies to find your clit, to spur your orgasm on as best you could, but as you moved, he lifted a hand, snatching yours in his own and pinning it to the bed, and a loud moan rippled through you from the dominance he asserted. He seemed almost surprised, for only as second, before his brows were raising. “You liked that, huh? Shoulda’ told me.”

“That’s not general advice, you wanted general advice.”

He shook his head, leaning back down to brush the tip of his nose over your own. “Maybe I’d prefer it if you tailored the advice to yourself specifically. Tell me how to drive you wild.”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing, I like it when you take control of me a little bit.” He nodded his head, seeming to catch on, and he sat back leaving you laying in the bed as the angle changed. Two fingers prodded at your lips, and he raised his brows, waiting for you to draw them into your mouth, wetting the digits thoroughly for him. When he deemed them sufficiently slick, he pulled them back, trailing them down along your body, before pressing down roughly onto the neglected bud between your thighs, crying out for attention to push you over the edge.

As you tumbled into that bliss, he continued going, until your body was jerking and quivering underneath him, and you were crying out his name, clenching so hard around his cock that his head fell back as he gripped at your thigh with his other hand, kneeling between your parted legs and tucked snugly between your spasming walls. “Jeez, you’re so fucking tight.”

He collapsed down over you, sweaty and warm, covering your body with his entirety as he tried to catch his breath, and your eyes were still rolled back in your head, coming back to focus as you slipped back down to earth from the heaven he'd taken you to. “That was incredible.”

“You bet your cute little ass it was.”

You chuckled, feeling him shuffle, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Locking your knees on either side of his hips, you flipped him over, his eyes wide as he found himself on his back, your hand finding his cock as you sank back down, shivering at the feeling as the aftermath of your last orgasm was still racing through you, and he let out a long and deep sound that vaguely resembled your name, hands finding your waist and pulling you the rest of the way down as he fucked up into you.

“You don’t have to, really-”

“You know, you’re pretty much the first guy I’ve ever been with who didn’t come first, and who genuinely cared about my pleasure.” Your nails scratched over his chest a little, making him shudder at your touch, before you were leaning down, hair drawing around you both, and he stared up at you in awe. “I want to make you feel good, too.”

He nodded, a hand tangling toughly in your hair, and he pulled you backwards, sitting up with you in his lap so that your legs could wrap around his waist more fully, your arms looping his neck, holding you as close as he possibly could. You whined at the feeling of your stinging scalp, loving the way he was manhandling you now, and he knew it too, his lips descending to your throat as he used his other hand to guide the movements of your hips.

“Tell me what to do, I don’t go on top a lot. Tell me what’s good, that’s what you’re supposed to do.” You were pleading with him, desperate to know how you could make him feel as good as you’d made him.

“What you’re doing right now is good.” He mumbled, but as you rolled your hips back down into his with what little space there was, his lips moving over your body until he could lean you back, taking a nipple between his lips and sucking one perky bud into his mouth. You cried out his name, his fist tangled into your hair to hold you still, and you tried to form thoughts, your first attempts at speaking coming out as broken stutters.

“Please, Joel..”

“Please what, gorgeous? Tell me what you need.” He cooed the words out, and you let out a desperate sound, your hips slamming down into his, and your hands found his chest, pushing him back into the bed, hearing the rush of breath he let out.

“Tell me what you want.”

He stared at you, blinking those beautiful brown eyes for a second, before giving in. “Honestly, I just want you to ride me like a pornstar. Go fucking wild, it’s so fucking sexy. When your tits bounce, and you slam yourself onto my cock, hair messy and a little sweaty, that's what I want.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly and bracing yourself on his chest, before you moved more solidly onto your knees, beginning to bounce against him. His jaw dropped, watching the movements of your chest, watching as you leaned back to show off the bouncing of your breasts before him as you built your confidence, and after getting past your anxieties, you were faced with the raging build of confidence that came with being on top.

He was staring at you like you’d put the lights in the sky, and you were, for once, glad that there were lights on to see him and for him to see you, to watch every movement you were making, because pure thrill was written on his face, adoration and lust as he stared, before you were taking one of his hands. Dragging it over your body, you sealed his fingers around one of your tits, pushing into his hands when he took control, fingers tweaking with your nipples, and he raised the other to do that same.

You were close, and you could tell he was too, the breathless way that he was beginning to chant your name on repeat, the way you were sure that the feeling of his cock tapping against every spot within you was going to be burned into your mind for the rest of your life, and the look on his face as he finally neared that peak.

“You look so fucking good. Taking what you want, riding me, absolutely perfect up there.”

“Only because that's how you want to see me, right now.” You whispered, and he shook his head, his hands finding your hips, waiting for you to lift yourself up, and as you did, he slammed you back down onto him, meeting you as he fucked up into you, and your body fell forwards in shock, barely catching yourself before your forehead hit his own, breath shared between you once again. His feet adjusted on the bed, bending at the knee to sit flat and he set a brutal pace, driving the both of you towards your final peak and he drilled into you.

Your eyes crossed, vision spotting, and a scream of his name was torn from you with force as you crashed into yet another earth-shattering orgasm at his touch, the sound of his cries of complete joy seeming muffled as he chased after you over the cliff, falling into orgasmic bliss. He rode the pair of you out, strained and weakening movements as your bodies trembled together, until finally, he stopped, completely sent off all energy, and you collapsed against his chest.

His heart was thudding against his chest under your cheek, your nails scratching lightly at the patch of dark hairs between lightly defined pecs, and he wrapped his arms around you. Rolling you to the side, he was reluctant to leave the bed, letting out a loud sound of distaste ta having to do so, but didn’t travel far, simply far enough to undo the rubber on his cock and tie it up, wrapping it in some tissues and dropping the crumpled heap into the bin.

When he came back over, he lay down beside you on his back, one hand under his head and the other stretched out towards you. As you lay on your stomach, shuffling closer to him, you lifted yourself onto your elbows, peering down at him with a small smile. “So, that was, like, the best sex ever. Right?”

You grinned, head ducking to hide the bashful expression you wore, but you were laughing nonetheless. “Ever.”

“I wish all girls were as cool as you. Like, sex would just be so much better if everyone just had that kind of communication, because, holy shit, that was mindblowing.” His hand came up beside his head, making an exploding noise as his fingers made the motion, as though his head really had exploded, and you grinned, feeling his fingers brush over your skin as he lowered it back down.

Quiet fell between you both, but it was comfortable, nice and easy-going, and you weren’t sure how to break the silence now, but neither was he, though it didn’t matter. When the temperatures that had risen in your body during your sinful act began to come back down, you found yourself cold once again, tucking yourself under the blankets and curling in a little closer to him, fingers brushing through his hair to distract yourself as he lay, staring up at you.

“Y’know, you said something, during it all..”

“You told me to give you advice! Don’t get pissy about it now.” Your joke was taken in good spirits, a loud laugh leaving him, and the burning gaze he’d mixed you with was broken for a few moments as his eyes closed to revel in his amusement, but when the laughter died down, he was looking at you again, with just as much intensity.

“Not that. You said you only thought you only looked good because I wanted you to look good.” His hand found your cheek, forcing you to find his gaze as he spoke. “That wasn’t true. You’re so fucking beautiful, and just because one dumbass broke your heart, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think of yourself as not being worthy. It only leads to more heartbreak. Don’t let his stupid actions take away from your value.”

“You know, you’re real wise on all this stuff.” His thumb brushed over your lips, and you puckered your lips to press a kiss to the pad of the finger. “Who broke your heart, Joel?”

“What makes you think I’ve had my heart broken?”

“Takes one to know one.” You whispered, and he let out a little sigh, gaze trailing off to stare at the ceiling.

“Her name was Aimee. We were together in high-school. We got into different colleges, and I was so sure we could make a long-distance thing work.” You cringed a little, keeping it internal, already guessing where this was going, but letting him talk. “We did phone calls and video chats, and I went to see her so often, every chance I could, in first year. But then second year came, and everything got busy, and I didn’t get to see her as often as I would’ve liked. I was waiting for the summer break to go and see her. When I got there, things were different, she told me it had changed, that she’d fallen for someone else and just didn’t know how to tell me. She figured we’d just fizzle out, that we had been fading. We broke up officially, but, it didn’t hurt her as much as it hurt me.”

“I’m so sorry, Joel.”

“That’s alright.” He murmured, fingers tracing up and down your arm, and you settled into a comfortable quiet once again.

You were hesitant to admit it to yourself, but you were growing rather fond of the man, your hookup having become so much more. The snow, the cold weather, two broken hearts and a stupid hook up site, and suddenly, you’d found someone who had managed to change your life in a lot of little ways, all in just twenty-four hours.

You turned, finding the man already watching you, lips curled up in a sweet smile and eyes lazily drooped, simply watching you as the thoughts and feelings raced through your mind, and yet, under his gaze, they all seemed to go silent. The worries, the constant surge of ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ all faded away, and you reached out a finger, tapping at the tip of his nose.

His expression somehow managed to morph into something even sweeter, practically giving you a toothache as his nose scrunched up adorably, before he was folding both hands under his head, moving to tangle his legs with yours, and simply sighing a little.

Golden and low lighting made his features seemed a little sharper, shadows on his face highlighting his jaw, cheekbones standing prominent and hair darker, and you knew just how soft it was, strands pushed back out of his face by you. The dark mark on his neck was making itself known now, and you were sure your own body would soon be littered in them, and you would check them all out with pride in the morning.

You turned to look at him again, drawing yourself back out of the spiral in your mind you’d once again fallen victim to, and meeting his gaze with a heatless huff. “What are you staring at?”

“Just.. you.” His brows pulled together a little, eyes sweeping across your face again in a way that made you feel raw and on the edge of your emotions. He lifted a hand, pushing your hair away behind your ears, before settling a hand over your jaw, and stroking his thumb across your skin slowly and soothingly.

“Yeah, well, don’t.” You whispered, voice cracking, and your gaze left his, but his touch never fell away, even when you tried to duck your head. “Don’t look at me like that, not unless you plan to act on it.”

“Oh, I would love to act on it. When this snow melts, I’d like to act on it properly.”

“Like.. a date?” You questioned, eyes flicking up to his for only a moment, and he was beaming what you did, toothy smile showing off his joy for only you to see.

“Exactly like a date, if you’ll have me?”

“Depends.” You murmured, shuffling in closer to him for warmth. “Can I share the bed with you tonight, or are you kicking me back out to the couch?”

He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you down into his chest as the pair of you laughed, cocooning yourselves in the blankets with a series of rolls and twists, until you pressed up tightly together and locked in such a way. “There, now you’re not going anywhere.” He dipped down, pressing a kiss to your lips, one that you were eager to reciprocate. “Me and the bed are all yours, gorgeous.”

“I like the sound of that.”

[marvels-writings]

World Turned Upside Down

Prequel: Used To

Sequel: My Forever

Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) Masterlist

Yelena Belova Masterlist

Requested by @stephanieromanoff and (Kind of) @venablemayfairgoode: Hi!! I absolutely LOVED ‘Used To’, and I definitely felt the reader’s pain. Could you write a part 2? Like, maybe while going away from everything, reader finds Yelena and they start a relationship?

Word Count: 7.4k (long but a masterpiece of angst and fluff)

A/N: Two whole weeks of effort, literally, so worth it. I hope you feel the same after reading it. 

Edit: The post seems to have deleted itself so I’m reposting it

Golden light filtered through the windows, illuminating the quiet of your apartment; the light fell on your eyes. You opened them slowly and looked around the room. The windows showed the rest of the world slowly waking up, the cars whirring by as other people's lives took their normal turn.

Breathing in slowly, you turned around slowly. The sheets shuffled underneath you, tangling your legs further into them. Turning to face the blonde in front of you, a small smile graced your lips. Fingertips grazed over her cheek as you moved the hair away from her face.

Shuffling closer to your sleeping girlfriend, your smile broadened as you noticed she was still sleeping. It wasn’t frequent that you woke up before Yelena, but you loved every second of it. Your fingers ran across her relaxed features before settling around her cheek.

Your fingertips trailed down her cheekbone onto her shoulder, till your hand was ghosting across her chest. Her heartbeat sounded just underneath your fingers, bringing a sense of comfort to you. Toying with a strand of hair on her neck, her eyes began to flutter open slowly.

Taking in a breath, her eyes opened to see you watching her. Your eyes held open affection, a gaze she found herself seeking comfort in. Hazel eyes scanned your features, she shifted to see you better. Legs tangled with yours over the sheets, the touch bringing you back to her.

“Morning,” Yelena whispered, her voice raspy from waking up. You hummed in response, fingers gently toying with her hair as a comfortable silence blanketed it you.

Soft breaths resounding in your ears as thoughts continued to run through your mind. Thoughts of a certain redhead. She had called you, more than once, more than you had expected. Even after five years, you found it hard not to pick up.

The voicemails remained on your phone. Her voice asking you to come back, telling you that it had been long enough. You could barely stop thinking about it.

Yelena saw that something was bothering you, but she never asked. She knew you would tell her once you thought it over. Her trust made you comfortable enough to think about going back. But the thought of seeing her again made you stop.

“Breakfast?” Yelena asked, a small smile as your fingertips ran across her skin. Taking your fingers away from her hair, you gave her a small nod. Mirroring her smile, you moved to get off the bed.

Untangling your legs from the sheets, you smoothened out your clothes. Though, it hardly made a difference. The clothes were all Yelena’s, not that she minded. Everything she wore was yours, even the oversized sweatpants.

Moving your hair away from your face, you followed the blonde into the kitchen. You knew she didn’t eat much for breakfast, but she insisted on trying to make you something anyway. Taking a seat on the kitchen island, you fidgeted with your hands as your girlfriend started on breakfast.

Bread in the toaster, two cups of coffee brewing, eggs cooking on the stove. Yelena put the eggs on a plate and sighed as she turned around. You were still staring at your hands, refusing to disturb the silence surrounding both of you.

“Something on your mind?” Yelena asked softly, setting your plate in front of you along with your coffee.

You didn’t seem to hear her, snapping out of your daze as you looked up to face her. A smile formed on your face before you noticed she had asked you something.

“Sorry?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

Yelena chuckled, picking up her toast and setting it down next to her coffee. Taking a seat in front of you, she set one hand down in the middle of the table. Her foot bumped yours gently as she sat down.

“I asked what was going on in this beautiful head of yours.” She asked, her hand gesturing to your head.

You smiled at the compliment, the expression disappearing as you looked down at your food. Your fork prodded the eggs, playing with them. Another silence settled around the room as she waited for you to speak. You set down your fork and let out a sigh, gaining the courage to finally tell her.

“She called me.” You stated, your voice strained and tight as the words left your lips.

The blonde frowned for a moment until she understood who you were referring to. To you, her name would never be mentioned, when you talked about it, it was always ‘she’ and ‘her’. Her hand gently came onto yours, thumb running across your knuckles to show she was listening.

“She wants me to come back,” You continued, breath shaky as you spoke. “she says it’s been long enough.”

Yelena nodded at your words, letting them sink in. A squeeze to your hand brought your eyes up to hers. You looked uncertain of what you wanted to do next. The blonde tilted her head to the side as she resumed running her thumb over the skin of your hand.

“Do you want to go back?” She asked gently.

Her question was what you’d been asking yourself since the first time she called you. Were you ready to see her again? Should you let your absence remain for longer? A part of you wanted to go back to where you used to call home. 

But this was home, this huge apartment you’d bought with Yelena.

“I’m not sure,” You admitted, sighing. “do you want to go there?”

The blonde considered it, licking her lips slowly. She seemed to weigh her words carefully, to tell you what she wanted, and if she wanted to see her sister again.

“I would like to see Natalia again,” Yelena confessed, watching your expression falter. “, but only if you’re okay with it.”

“You know I won’t keep you from your family.” You found yourself answering before you could process her words.

Natalia, you’d never called her by her true name, scared it was too close to her. it was the first time you’d heard her name in years. The last time being when you told Yelena about what happened between her and you.

“Then why should she keep you from yours?” Yelena asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You nodded, considering her words. A light chuckle left you as you recalled the last words you’d said to her. 

‘If the entire world turns upside down’. It was so distant now, the realization, the arguing, the day you left.

“I did tell her I’d come back if the world turned upside down.” You recalled, nostalgia in your words as you turned to look out the window. Breathing in slowly, you took a moment to analyze how different your life was now.

It’s been almost four years you’ve been together, each day you spent with her you seemed to forget your life without her. Funny, it was a coincidence she showed up in your life just a month after you left Natasha. Going on a trip around Europe was an impulse decision, one of your best ones at that. 

It was what you’d wanted to do with Natasha, but you ended up by yourself. Until you met Yelena at a bar. The memories of how you began seemed to fade the longer you were with her. But everything in between felt like yesterday.

Yelena had been the one to take things slow. It matched you better than you had expected. It was perfect. You needed to take things slow after everything that happened. The blonde didn’t want to rush into anything.

 Sometimes, you thought maybe you were with Yelena only because she reminded you of someone you used to love. It was hardly that, being with Natasha had been something you wanted to do. With Yelena, you were surprised your life hadn’t been this way all along. 

A smile crossed your face as you remembered starting to trust her. It was slow, just starting with trusting her with your nightmares, even your fears if you were sure about it. She never pushed you, never held back a secret if she thought you’d want to know.

“In a way, it did.” You commented, making your decision to return.

Yelena watched you turn back to face her, your eyes meeting hers with certainty. Your decision was made, she could change it if she wanted to. But this could be good for you, maybe it would benefit both of you. After all, there were plans you had that needed a family watching you.

“You’re sure about going back?” She asked, just to make sure. You nodded your head, palm turning upwards to take her hand into yours. Skin brushed together as your fingers ran over her skin.

“Maybe not permanently,” You gave a half shrug. “but they are my family.”

Yelena smiled at you, her other hand slowly coming up to cup yours. Her fingers toyed with yours, letting the rings on your fingers clink together softly. Wedding bands had not come in their place, not yet anyway.

“So are you.” You smiled, lacing your fingers with hers. Her smile broadened at your words, eyes glancing down to where her ring met yours. She promised you forever when you weren’t sure you could find one.

————

Your phone buzzed lightly in your hand on the drive to the compound. After messaging the rest of the team about your surprise arrival, they hadn’t stopped messaging you. The first year was the only year they tried to keep in contact with you before giving up on you.

Wanda was the only one who never gave up on it. Every holiday, every birthday, she’d send you a text and try to call you. There were never any voicemails, but the texts were there, year after year. She didn’t know if you’d read them or not but still kept sending them.

Now, there were more messages than you could count.

The only ones you paid attention to were the ones from Tony. He told you that he could get you your room back. The one you had before you moved in with a certain redhead. No one had touched it.

Scrolling through the notifications, you noticed one text from Natasha thanking you. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Stark can give me my old room back,” You said, tucking your phone in your back pocket and turning towards Yelena. She nodded, looking outside the window as the compound started to come into view.

“The one I had before moving in with her.” You continued, to try to occupy the silence in the car. The taxi driver didn’t seem to care much about who he was driving or where. Though, you supposed he expected a large tip since you mentioned Tony Stark.

“Though I don’t know how long we’ll be staying.” You continued, licking your lips dryly. Your fingers reached to fidget with your engagement ring. Twisting the ring around your finger, you clenched your jaw and turned to look out the window.

The sound of the radio the only sound filling the taxi for a few moments. Fingers laced through yours, squeezing to bring your attention to her. Turning to face her, you gave her a half-hearted smile. Yelena gave you a reassuring grin before squeezing your fingers again.

“We’ll stay as long as you want.” She whispered, bringing your hand up to meet it to her lips softly. You smiled at the comforting feeling.

Chuckling, you remembered how Yelena hadn’t been one to show affection at the starting of your relationship. You had always been one to initiate any sort of physical contact. It was only after she told you how she wanted to make sure you were comfortable did it become commonplace.

“I love you.” You whispered, a smile turning up the corners of your lips. The blonde mirrored your smile as she turned around to face you. Hazel eyes radiated warmth as she squeezed your hand again.

“I love you too,” Yelena said.

With her, it didn’t feel like you were living a lie. You didn’t have to ask her if she meant it. To her, telling you that she loved you was a promise on its own.

Smiling to yourself as she squeezed your fingers the same way as you walked towards the entrance of the compound. You were about an hour earlier than you had promised to arrive. Hardly anyone was at the front.

You began to walk inside, taking in the sight of the compound. The smell of coffee wafted through the air, music probably picked by Stark created the atmosphere as you walked inside. It was like you’d never left.

Wanda sat on the couches, talking to Clint. A fond smile twisted the corners of your lips as you made eye contact with the witch. Her eyes seemed to widen almost three times their size as she caught sight of you. Jumping out of her seat, a large grin crossed her face.

“Y/N!” Wanda exclaimed, running forwards to you.

You stumbled backward with the force of her hug, hand slipping from Yelena’s. Laughing, you hugged her back tightly. Her hands pulled you closer to her, scared you might leave if she let go of you. You smiled as her grip tightened, burrowing your face into her neck.

Her hair still smelt of the almond oil she used, along with the coconut shampoo you’d suggested to her many years ago. Some things never really change.

Clint shouted that you’d returned. You paid little to no heed to his screaming, until you heard rapid footsteps approaching you. Wanda didn’t seem to want to let go of you, despite the rest of your family coming to crowd around her.

Tapping her back lightly, she let you slip from her hold. Turning to face the team, your face grew into a huge grin. Bucky stood in the back, giving you a curt nod before moving to sit on one of the couches. Hugging the rest of the team, tears began to form in your eyes. It had been too long you were away from them.

Five years just felt like a number when you said it. But the weight of it settled on your shoulders as you talked to your family. Five was just a number, it truly had been too long.

Jokes and teasing circled in the room, Steve patted you on the shoulder with a light threat never to do this again. A part of you assumed he was joking, but he seemed too serious for you to laugh it off easily. They dragged you over to the couches.

The grin on your face grew as the compliments flew through the room. The way you looked now was far too different from when you left for them not to notice. You’d left looking as a corpse of who they used to know. Now, you were glowing with laughter and jokes as you talked with them.

Moments you knew you’d treasure flew by until they noticed Yelena standing to the side. She tried not to look awkward, her hands tucked into her jacket pockets as she watched you. You reached out a hand for her. She took it and sat down next to you, squeezing herself between you and Tony.

“Who is she?” Wanda asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. Her arm hooked around yours protectively, she rested her head on your shoulder.

“Yelena?” A voice sounded behind you before you could answer.

The voice was familiar, almost too familiar. Turning around your eyes caught onto the reason you’d been avoiding your family. She wasn’t the same person you’d remembered. Her hair was blonde, she still walked with confidence, but that stride broke once she saw you.

Your jaw clenched subtly, you turned back around to Wanda who looked at you in concern. Giving her a tight nod, you glanced towards Yelena. She looked from you towards her sister, uncertain if she should greet her.

Giving her a nod and a small smile, you squeezed her hand to let her know you’d be alright. Without any words exchanged, she went up to greet her.

“Natalia,” Yelena spoke, a smile slowly growing on her face at the sight of her sister. Both of them grinned at each other before hugging tightly.

Yelena was a bit stiff as she hugged her, Natasha’s unspoken mistake still loomed in the air. She hugged her tightly before letting her go. She talked to her in Russian for a bit, you couldn’t understand any of the words.

The rest of the team stared at them curiously, wondering who she was. It wasn’t until they rejoined you on the couches was it they asked. Yelena returned to your side, her hand sliding into yours by habit.

“Who is she?” Steve asked you, a frown ghosting his face. You could only assume he wanted to be protective of you again. Bucky sat at his side quietly, scared of ruining anything again.

“I’m Yelena Belova,” Yelena answered for herself, winking at you when you glanced towards her.

Another smile twisted the corner of your lips at the gesture as you looked around the rest of the team. Natasha’s features flickered for a moment, into hurt, maybe even fear. You couldn’t tell, she put up her mask again.

“How do you know y/n?” Tony asked, leaning forwards and letting his elbows rest on his knees. He looked at her as if he was judging her. You chuckled and patted Yelena’s thigh comfortingly before speaking.

“Guys stop interrogating her.” You chided, watching Tony chuckle before leaning back into the couch.

You weren’t sure why you were protective of Yelena. They were your family. After all, you doubted they were going to chase her away. Even if they could, you weren’t sure they would want to.

Starting a conversation with them, you joked around for a bit before roping Yelena into the conversation. It flowed easily; she added to the stories you told and the comments you made. The stories you told weaved together flawlessly.

Natasha wasn’t paying any attention to the story, her eyes staring at the engagement ring on your finger. Yelena’s hand was intertwined with yours, denying her view to see the ring she was sure was there. She wanted to say something, maybe congratulate you, lie that she was happy for you.

The words were already dry in her mouth as she stared. She was the first to notice the engagement, but the last to comment on it.

“Y/n/n you’re engaged?!” Wanda exclaimed, noticing the ring when you made a gesture with your left hand.

She took your hand in hers, jaw almost dropping over the size of the ring. Gorgeous was hardly the word to describe it. It was a rose gold solitaire adorned with diamonds on the band. The diamonds looked like they were woven into the band itself.

A grin plastered itself onto your face as the rest of the team started to fawn over your ring. Before any of them could ask who you were engaged to, Yelena put her hand next to yours. A ring was placed on her finger as well.

“We are,” Yelena stated, her grin matching yours as you turned to face her.

Neither of you seemed to notice Natasha sitting frozen on the couches. The ring on Yelena’s finger wasn’t just any ring. It was your mother's ring, the one you’d talked about proposing with. The same ring you swore would bring luck to any wedding.

The ring she had been so sure she would wear someday.

“When?” Natasha croaked, clearing her throat after she spoke. The attention turned to her, the team glaring at her. It was as if her speaking could somehow take you away again. Maybe it could if she wasn’t careful.

“Nat,” Wanda whispered angrily, a red wisp forming on Natasha’s elbow. Natasha winced, glaring at the witch before turning back to face you. The question hung in the air for a few seconds, but you didn’t fill the silence.

“A few months ago,” Yelena answered for you. You gave her a grateful smile before turning towards the rest of the team.

Nervousness showed in your eyes as you glanced around the room. Your fiance squeezed your thigh gently, helping build up your courage for the request she knew you wanted to say. Biting your lip tightly, you took in a breath.

“We um,” You glanced at Yelena who gave you a soft smile you sought comfort in. “we wanted you to come to our wedding.”

A moment of quiet passed over your words before happiness and laughter quickly filled the room. The rings continued to be fawned over as new wedding plans were made. Your wedding plans, even your savings for them hardly seemed to matter as Tony announced he would be paying for it. You knew you couldn’t talk him out of it, despite how you might try to.

The team talked about the kind of wedding you should have, a spring wedding, a grand ball, anything. Plans and ideas flew around the room, the only person never offering any being Natasha. She sat silently on the couch, staring at the ground.

Your eyes glanced towards her before flitting back to Yelena, smiling brightly at your fiance. The same smile you used to wear around her, the one she thought she could never get enough of. The same lovesick grin the rest of the team made fun of you for. It was for someone who wasn’t her.

Natasha got up quietly, offering Yelena a tight smile of congratulations before padding out of the room. Her footsteps hardly made any sound as she made the effort to leave your life the way it is.

The conversation flowed on behind her, your laughter floating through the room. The wedding date wasn’t fixed yet, you weren’t sure when you should have it. Better sooner than later, you never knew how long something might last.

This, your family, you hoped this would last forever.

————

The TV played on in the background as you talked to Wanda about wedding plans. She had long since agreed to become your maid of honor. The witch was adamant about making this wedding perfect, you smiled as you talked to her about the flowers for the wedding.

Yelena was still unsure about who should be her best man/woman. Natasha was her first choice for it, but she wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with it. You’d told her you’d be alright with it, still, she waited in case.

The popcorn seemed to be taking a little longer than it should have. You’d offered to help her with it, but the blonde declined your offer, adamant she could do it on her own. You continued talking to Wanda about your wedding plans, unsure what kind of flowers you should have.

Wanda began saying that roses were a better idea, you weren’t paying much attention as you saw Natasha enter the room. Your eyes flitted over to her, your expression faltering for an instant. Bringing your mask back up, you nodded to Wanda to show you were listening. She didn’t buy it, glancing behind her. Noticing Natasha, she turned back to you, continuing her conversation.

“Hey, y/n…” Natasha trailed off, fidgeting with her fingers as she stood behind the couch. You turned to face her, giving her a tight nod. Wanda stopped talking, turning around to face the assassin.

“Hello.” You greeted, turning back to the movie. Even you weren’t willing to pretend everything was okay with her. The witch glanced between both of you before locking her gaze onto Natasha.

“Can I talk to you?” She asked, her weight shuffling on her feet. She glanced from you to Wanda, the witch glared at her angrily. Ignoring her gaze, she turned back to face you. You weren’t looking at her, your eyes looking at Yelena.

Your fiance gave you a supportive nod, the popcorn still in her hands. The look of concern on her face told you she would be here for you if things went south. You nodded at her, smiling gratefully then turning towards Natasha. 

Your smile dissipated the instant you looked at her, your eyes which were full of adoration only moments ago were empty, too empty.

“Alright.” You nodded.

Natasha smiled at you, hoping you would return it. Your face remained blank, prompting her to lead you to somewhere more private. The assassin sighed softly, hoping you wouldn’t hear her disappointment but wanting you to.

She walked towards her room, the same room you called home before leaving. Looking inside, you saw that not much had changed. It seemed all too familiar. Everything from the decorations, to the way the bed was made, even some of the pictures were your own.

Bile rose to your throat when you looked at a picture of the two of you on your anniversary. A glass of champagne was in your hand, your lips on her cheek, the corner of your mouth quirked into a grin. A grin plastered on Natasha’s face, her arm wrapped around your waist.

You picked up the frame from her bedside, aware of Natasha’s eyes watching your movements. A sigh left your lips as you looked at it.

The moment frozen in time. You let yourself fall back into time, experiencing that night over again. How ecstatic you were about spending 3 years with Natasha, three whole years. The nervousness about the party. The emotions were still frozen in the picture, you wished you could rid yourself of them.

“What do you need to talk about?” You croaked, swallowing as you set down the picture frame. Standing awkwardly on the edge of the bed, you fidgeted with your fingers as Natasha took a seat on the bed.

“Why did you come back?” She asked, her voice betraying no emotion. You swallowed, eyes flitting towards the ground instead.

“You and I both know it’s not just because I asked you to.” She continued, eyes watching you carefully. You sighed and looked up at her, shuffling back slightly. Natasha patted the spot on the bed for you to sit, you stepped forwards, then stopped.

It was the same bed she had broken you in. The same bed you’d sworn to be by each other’s side forever. The broken promises still lingered in the air like smoke. Breathing it in, you clenched your jaw tightly. Shaking your head, you shuffled backward and leaned against the wall.

Why did you come back? 

It wasn’t because she asked you to. You weren’t sure it was because you wanted your family at your wedding. maybe it was to see her again, to prove how much better you were without her.

To show her what she lost.

“Remember what I told you then?” You asked, tilting your head to the side as you looked up at her. The words were a bit hazy in your mind, somewhat like a nightmare you had a long time ago.

“Will I, will I ever see you again?” Natasha asked timidly, hope underlining her tone. She couldn’t stop you from leaving her with her mistakes. All she could do was hope for your return. Upon seeing your expression, that seemed unlikely.

“If the entire world turns upside down, you might.” You said a halfhearted joke as you turned towards the door.

Leaving your things behind, leaving your entire family behind. There wasn’t anything here for you anymore. 

“I don’t think I can forget,” Natasha murmured, the words as clear as day in her mind. The day you’d left, she couldn’t forget it. Your broken smile when walked out of her life haunted her, despite the pictures of your happiness she surrounded herself with.

“I told you that you might see me again if the world turns upside down.” You repeated, voice shaking. You cleared your throat, chuckling lightly as you leaned back against the wall. Your eyes roamed the room, taking in every detail before meeting Natasha’s eyes.

“It kind of did, didn’t it?” You chuckled, tilting your head.

Your life didn’t take the turn you’d expected. The plan was to marry Natasha, hopefully, grow old with her. Maybe get a house by the beach and have twins. That was what the plan had always been. It was still there, the house by the beach, the playground for your kids.

Natasha was the only change.

“I found everything I wanted in someone you consider your family.” You continued, hands moving to rest behind your back.

A smile crossed your face as you thought of Yelena. The way her lips quirked up into a smile, even at your bad jokes, the comfort of how her skin felt against yours, the sound of her voice when she’d just woken up. 

She was all yours, you had the pride of calling her your fiance.

“You found something in someone I considered my brother.” You muttered, your thoughts turning towards Bucky.

Hurt flashed across your features before you masked it quickly, turning to look up at her. The blonde fidgeted at your words, nibbling her lip and looking away from you.

“Bucky and I,” Natasha began, licking her lips. “we aren’t, we aren’t together.”

Your eyebrows raised, you’d thought Bucky was who she’d be running to for comfort after you. It had only made sense that she should leave you for another relationship. But just for sex, that was lower than even you thought she could stoop.

“That’s a surprise.” You mused, turning to look away from her and the bed.

An uncomfortable silence shrouded the room, suffocating you. You didn’t know how to break it. Small talk was the last thing on your mind. Thinking you should leave, you shifted your weight and put one foot forwards before the blonde spoke.

“I’m surprised if you remember my name,” Natasha whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. A frown etched into her face as tears began to line her eyes.

“What?” You asked, hoping you heard her wrong. Her voice was rarely quiet, only taking a lower stance when she was scared. It hurt a little she was scared, or even upset because of you.

“The way you look at me,” She continued, knowing you heard her. “it’s like you don’t even remember me.”

You hesitated, letting her words take their place. Your mask dropped, eyes looking down at the ground as a sad smile twisted your lips. Of course, she would bring this up, you had never looked at her this way like she never meant anything to you. 

“I used to look at you like you were my world.” You muttered, shaking your head lightly. You wished you were lying. You wished you hadn’t made her your world just to let her take it away from you.

“It’s almost ironic you took it away from me.” You whispered, looking up to face her. The mask you made just for her began to shatter. A tear slipped down your face, sliding across your face until it dropped onto the floor.

“I never meant to,” Natasha whispered, voice shaking as she saw you cry because of her, again. Her hand reached out towards your face, stopping she realized it wasn’t her place. Her words made you snap, your head whipping up to face her.

“It doesn’t matter what you meant to do Na-” You stopped yourself before you could say her name.

You didn’t know why you couldn’t say her name. You’d called her everything from Tasha to Nattie, you didn’t know why it was so hard for you. It was hardly a surprise when you couldn’t even think of her without hurting.

“Say it,” Natasha demanded, head snapping up to yours. Tears grew in her waterline, her voice breaking as she moved forwards. You swallowed thickly, pushing yourself further into the wall.

“Say my name, please.” She begged, looking up at you pleadingly. A tear slipped out of her eye, she retreated as her hands moved to wipe it away hastily.

You took in a shaky breath, wanting nothing more than to leave things the way they were. Closure was a gift you never got. The wounds were still torn open no matter how much you tried to stitch them shut. Saying her name would tear you apart, all over again.

“Does it still hurt you to think about me?” Natasha asked when you stayed silent. Her eyes looked at you imploringly, almost begging you for an answer.

How could it not hurt?

Thinking about her always brought back memories, always the good memories. The best of what you were, never the worst. The memories showed you everything you were, how she brought out the best part of you.

It also showed you what she took away.

“Yes.” You answered, just when Natasha was beginning to think you might stay silent.

Natasha flinched back as if you’d physically hurt her. Her mask was in pieces, she didn’t care about the emotions she was showing. Every attempt she made to try to calm herself, to stop feeling, it never worked.

“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” You asked, incredulous she had even asked you if it still hurt. The blonde didn’t respond, staying silent in fear she might hurt you more.

“You took away everything I gave you, and then more.” You said, breath leaving you in harsh pants. your hand ran through your hair as you began pacing in the room. Natasha’s eyes never left you, even as her vision grew blurry with tears.

“The peace I felt around you, the home you’d made for me,” You shouted, tears slipping down your face. “all of it.”

You wiped your face hastily with your hands, watching them come away wet with tears and mascara. All your pain was out in the open for her to see. The pain was caused by her mistakes. You cowered into yourself, leaning back against the closet.

Trying desperately to slow your breathing, you rested your head on the door. Staring up at the ceiling, you let the lights blind you for a treasured few seconds. Blinking rapidly, you looked back at Natasha. She watched you with emerald eyes you’d let yourself get lost in too many times.

“It still hurts when I think of you.” You whispered, looking her in the eyes.

Natasha’s jaw clenched, blinking to try to stop her tears. She turned around to look at the rest of the room. The pictures of you still decorated the walls the way they used to when you were still here. The decorations you’d bought for the room, even some of your clothes were in her closet.

Never could she let you go.

“I never stopped thinking of you.” She admitted, turning slowly to look back at you. It was still somewhat like a dream, to have you here with her. A dream she was too scared to wake up from to let you go.

“You should.” You said, sighing after. You backed up slightly, wiping away the remaining tears on your face. 

Mascara stained your hands and your sleeves. You didn’t know what Natasha wanted from you, you could only assume she wanted you back in her life, even after you’d been adamant about keeping away.

“I’m not giving you my heart again,” You stated, glancing away from her. “it doesn’t matter what you promise me.”

Some truth remained in your words. Even if she promised you the world, or for her to be better, you wouldn’t give up your world for her again. Your heart was once something you gave away carelessly to her. You didn’t want to repeat your mistake.

“I don’t want that from you,” Natasha said, catching your attention. Your gaze flitted back to her as a confused frown ghosted your features. The frown etched itself onto your face as she let the silence slowly drag on.

“What do you want from me?” You asked, watching her wince back slightly. She straightened her stance as if she was preparing herself for something. Silence dragged on as she prepared herself for pain before finally speaking.

“I want you to forgive me.”

Your mouth opened to yell at her, to scream that what she did was near unforgivable. For her to even think that you could forgive her after everything. You’d told her what she had taken away from you, and she still thought she could be forgiven.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” Natasha stated before you could speak. Her hand lifted in a plead for you to hear her out. 

Your mouth closed but opened again as you considered keeping your silence. The blonde didn’t care for your silence, wanting you to hear the apology she had ran over thousands of times in her head.

“Please, I never meant to hurt you.” She repeated, knowing it wasn’t the apology you wanted to hear.

She swore she could not have prepared more for this moment. For having you in front of her so she could apologize to you. Even practicing in the mirror, over and over again didn’t help her. Seeing you in front of her, breaking all over again because she couldn’t be who you wanted her to.

It wasn’t something she had prepared for.

“Maybe it was unfair for me to fall in love with you in the first place when I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep you. I’m sorry.” She apologized, guiltily shifting her feet under her. Her legs dangled over the edge of the bed, she looked at them thoughtfully.

It wasn’t fair for her to try to be in a relationship when she couldn’t keep one. Maybe with you, she thought it would be different. But even you couldn’t change the mistakes she would make. Even at the start of your relationship, she knew she would hurt you somehow. You assured her that she couldn’t.

In the end, her mistakes would always come to haunt her.

“Falling in love wasn’t your mistake,” You spoke, bringing her attention up to you. “it was unfair of you to try to treasure something you knew you couldn’t keep.”

It was unfair of her, so unfair to lead you on for years, give you everything you knew you wanted. To make plans for the future, you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, so clearly. Then to take it all away again, just because she knew she couldn’t keep you.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha repeated, trying to make you stay. You could see her hand reach out for you before stopping herself.

A sigh left your lips as you moved down to kneel in front of her. Your fingertips hovered over hers before moving away. You whispered to try to get her attention, it didn’t work. Your hands slid into hers, squeezing gently.

She opened her eyes in surprise, looking at your hands in hers, the engagement ring adorning your finger. Her hands gripped yours tightly as if you were a lifeline.

Tears began to fall on your hands. You wanted to try to comfort her more, but this was all you could do. It was almost as if you were leaving her all over again, promising to say out of her life.

“Natasha,” You whispered, smiling when she looked up at you. Her eyes were so soft, so vulnerable in this moment.

Your thumbs slid over the skin of her hand, you looked at her carefully. She was still the woman you’d fallen head over heels for. But Natasha couldn’t be the person you spent the rest of your life with.

“Our time is over.” You said softly, wincing when she turned away from you. More tears dropped onto your palms. Her hands held onto yours tightly, you slipped one out of her grip to turn her face towards yours.

“We had our time together,” You continued, smiling at the fond memories of her. “and yeah it was beautiful.”

This is what you’d been missing all of these years.

Letting go.

It wasn’t as easy as moving to the other side of the world. It was looking her in the eye and saying that your time was over. It was letting both of you heal from the mistakes.

“I just wish we could have lasted longer,” Natasha whispered, clinging onto your hands tightly. She’d told you before that you were the best thing that ever happened to her. You were, it was foolish of her to cut your time so short.

“Maybe, but we weren’t beautiful because we lasted.” You said, tugging her attention back up to you.

 A light frown ghosted her face at your words. Your eyes gazed over her features, committing them to memory. The emerald eyes, soft cheekbones, the features you had grown to love.

“It was beautiful because it happened.” You whispered, your thumb tracing over her cheekbone gently.

A smile graced your lips, a tear falling from your eye onto your hands. A sigh left your lips as you moved up, leaning down you closed your eyes. Your lips met her forehead gently, her hands tugged you closer. You smiled, as she let go of you, letting you pull away.

A knock sounded on the door, you turned to face it, knowing it was Yelena.

“Come in.” You said, slowly wiping the tears away from your eyes. Yelena stepped into the room, taking in the scene in front of her. She glanced towards her sister wiping her face on her sleeves, giving her a sympathetic smile before turning towards you.

“Hey,” Yelena greeted, moving to slide her hand into yours. You smiled as her shoulder bumped against yours. “everything alright?”

“Yeah just,” You glanced towards Natasha. The blonde looked up at the two of you, no longer looking hurt. Instead, she looked at you with a gentle smile, finding herself finally letting go of you.

“Just catching up.” You answered, smiling up at Yelena.

She looked from you to Natasha, nodding at her sister. She would want to talk to her later, you were sure of it, but now wasn’t the time. Nodding towards the door, silently asking if you wanted to leave. You nodded letting her walk you out.

“wait.” You said, stopping in your tracks. A confused look showed on her face as your hand slipped out of hers, heading back to Natasha. Your fiance followed you back, leaning against the doorframe.

“I, I want you to come to our wedding.” You stuttered, shifting your weight. Wringing your hands together, you looked to face her. She looked unsure, her eyes glancing from your ring to her sister.

“Are you sure you want me there?” She asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. You nodded, looking back at Yelena. The blonde smiled at you, knowing it was hard for you to do this. You sought comfort in her smile, nodding again at Natasha.

“Lena considers you as her family,” You said, shrugging easily. “it’s only fair.”

Lena, the nickname was so familiar coming from you. Natasha raised an eyebrow, seeing as you didn’t answer her question. You chuckled softly at the action. She could always tell you had a different answer than what you said.

“I want you there,” You stated, watching her features light up into a smile. She nodded, looking from you to your fiance. Yelena looked certain she wanted Natasha to be there. She smiled and nodded.

“I’ll be there,” Natasha said.

You smiled in relief, waving at her as you walked out of the room. Yelena’s arm slid around your waist, her fingers reaching towards the ring you wore. Her fingers twisted them around your finger thoughtfully.

She didn’t know what you’d talked about with Natasha. But you were in a lighter mood, easily walking around the compound, telling more stories. You were more at ease, the closure bringing you in a different state of mind.

Years ago, you wouldn’t have even considered coming back here. The memories near painful for you. Now, the memories seemed like a story you told a long time ago. You thought the story had ended when you left.

But now, you’d finally let go.

In a way, it was a good thing the world turned upside down.

A/N: Please for the sake of my sanity reblog and comment and tell me what you think!!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore​ , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @marvelbbyx , @wlw-imaginesss​ , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero  , @a-stressedstudent​ , @aaron-despair , @rooskaya-yelena , @dynnealberto , @thewitchandtheassassin , @wannabe-fic-reader , @izalesbean​, @higherfurther-romanova​  , @natalia-quinzel  , @stephanieromanoff , @fayhar​ , @darkangelxoxo-blog   let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

[mvrtaiswriting]

We were 18. - Jotaro Kujo.

Me?? Posting something about Jotaro?? How strange. This piece of work is also dedicated to two of my comfort characters, Kakyoin and Joseph. This artwork is really important to me, it really holds a special place in my heart so.. enjoy! 

Neutral reader x Jotaro Kujo

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Stardust Crusaders (spoilers)

AU

SFW | fluff 

Trigger warning: usual jojo violence, reference to grief, insomnia.

Word count: 1760.

The ‘continue reading’ button is there for space purposes, to make the reader avoid any possible spoiler and/or sensible topics.

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content!

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

© bearing in mind everything I post/write is my intellectual property so please don’t steal/copy and paste and post it as yours.

Since you returned from your tumultuous trip in Egypt, your life has never been the same. Once you came back to your hometown, not a moment passed by when you didn’t remember the terrible scenes you’ve witnessed during the fight with Dio. The memory of Kakyoin’s death was still so vivid in your mind and the more you tried to shake that thought out of your head, the more you kept reliving it – over and over again.

There were times when you swore you saw Kakyoin among a crowd of people; times when you could just hear his voice calling your name. Every time you closed your eyes Avdol, Kakyoin and Iggy were there. You barely slept anymore – most of the times you did so, you had nightmares about what happened in El Cairo. You lost count of how many nights you have spent crying in your bed, curled up in between your sheets in the silence of your lonely house. Living alone didn’t help; you were used to sneak into one of the crusaders’ room whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or, simply, a place where you could feel safe. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up squished between Kakyoin and Jotaro or trapped in one of Joseph bear-hugs. But now, you were thousands of kilometres away from the rest of the group, alone in your cold bedroom. There was no one to go to, and no one you could talk about how you felt. It was just you and your painful memories. No one would understand what you’ve been through – how could they? How could you ever explain how intense the 50 days you spent with the crusaders had been?

Another nightmare woke you up, as per usual. You gasped loudly as if you just started to breathe again after a long apnea and quickly sat down in the middle of your bed, holding onto your sheet. You started shaking as your chest moved up and down with rapid movements trying to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face. You were staring at the void in your pitch-dark room, trying to control your sobs and make yourself realise that you were back to reality. You stretched one of your arms to reach the lamp on your bedside table, curling yourself up while you slowly started to calm down. Wiping out the tears from your cheeks with your jumper’s sleeve, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and slowly went to the kitchen, making yourself some tea.

As you sat down to drink your hot beverage hoping it would bring you some comfort, you started to rehearse your dream - as if you could just replay it in your head as one would normally do with songs or movies. It wasn’t very different from any other dreams you had.

Kakyoin’s body was lying lifeless against the roof Dio had thrown him onto, his expression crippled by the excruciating pain he must have felt. An enormous wound had completely swept away part of his body, leaving a big opening in the middle of it. You were screaming at him at the top of your lungs, begging him to spare the last bit of energy he had left in his body. But the ending was the same every damn time; he would use his last breath to reveal to Joseph the secret of The world, Dio’s Stand, and launch his last attack with Emerald Splash. You woke up every time you tried to reach Kakyoin’s body. You were never able to say goodbye to him -  not even in your dreams. The same thing happened with Avdol and Iggy too. You never got the chance to see them one last time, because you were busy fighting elsewhere.

You sighed loudly, stopping yourself from having another breakdown and sipping some tea from your cup. It was in that exact moment, that the phone rang. It was 3:00 AM where you lived, so you expected one of the boys to be on the other end of the telephone. You and the rest of the crusaders exchanged your numbers the last time you saw each other at the airport and had kept in contact ever since. To your surprise, the person you talked the most was Jotaro. You were about the same age and had created a strong bond during your trip, even if you would have never bet on it. Kakyoin used to always joke about your crush on Jotaro, always encouraging you to give it a shot. But things turned out to be too frenetic and dangerous to engage any sort of romantic relationship. Despite that, you would never miss a chance to sit next to each other or just spend most of the time together. The two of you even kissed at one point, but never talked about it again – not even during your strangely long phone calls.

Crawling your feet on the floor of your kitchen, you got up and finally answered the phone: “Hello?”

“Hey.” Jotaro’s deep voice replied. “How come you’re awake? It’s late where you are.” he added.

“You called. Is this a good excuse?” you said lightly laughing, trying to hide the sadness in your voice.

When the sun rose, you were still talking to Jotaro. He asked you about your dream – he knew about your insomnia and your recurring nightmares and just wanted to be there for you. He wasn’t the best at comforting, and most of the time he never dared to say a word; but you knew it was a sensible topic for him too, and the fact that he would let you confide in him was more than enough.

“It’s a big deal for me too.” he said. You just hummed, allowing him to talk freely about what was going on inside his head – and heart. “Sometimes I can barely breathe. I just wish everything was over.” he cut short, clearing his throat immediately after finishing his sentence. Hearing those words from him just broke your heart; he always showed himself as a cold, calm and collected person and never allowed his emotions to have the best of him. He could often come off as an emotionless brute, but you knew it was all a façade that hid a more sensible and soft side of him. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, only broken by the sound of your breaths. “Don’t hang up.” you said ultimately, letting out a big sigh.

“I won’t. I’m here.” His voice replied, sounding velvet through the telephone.

--

The plane landed after what felt like an eternity, the flight from your country took countless hours to arrive in Japan. At the airport, a member of the Speedwagon foundation was waiting for you, Holly standing next to him. As soon as you got closer to them, Holly quickly fell into your arms, hugging you tightly. ‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ she squeaked, while cupping your cheeks in her hands and showering you with affection. You let out an embarrassed laugh, and after that warm welcome you finally reached the car. You seated in the backseat, tiredly resting your head against the window of your car’s door. You took a quick look at the clock and closed your eyes, trying to get some rest.

When you arrived, Holly gently woke you up. The car was parked in front of the Kujo’s residence, the place where it all started. A fast sequence of memories flashed in front of your eyes as you meticulously watched the house in front of you, remembering exactly how you felt when you arrived the first time, and how you felt when you left. Holly placed and hand on your shoulder and nodded, indicating to you Jotaro’s room. “He wasn’t in a great mood today, he hasn’t been in a while” she said hopelessly. “Just excuse him if he speaks to you rudely.” she added, feeling sorry for the harsh manners her son always displayed. You reassured her smiling, before walking to his room.

Once you stood in front of his door, your heart started beating so loud. A part of you was dying to see the boy you heart belonged to, the other was afraid to see him broken into pieces. But that was the reason why you went there in the first place. You didn’t want to leave him alone anymore. He needed a shoulder to cry on as much as you did – maybe more, if it was possible. You had to be there.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. Heavy footsteps came your way before the door opened, revealing Jotaro’s figure towering over you.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing he-“ he tried to ask, before getting interrupted by your hug; you almost pushed yourself against his body, making him take a step back to not lose balance. You wrapped your arms around his strong torso, breathing in his perfume and holding him as close as humanly possible to you. Being in his arms felt like being at home – a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while. It wasn’t long before Jotaro reciprocated your hug, hiding his face into your hair and leaving a soft kiss on your head. He closed the door behind you and just held you in his embrace, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being reunited with you. “You don’t know how much I missed you.” he said, not even trying to let you go. You hinted a small laugh, rubbing his muscled back with your right hand. “I can imagine.”, you replied. He slowly distanced himself from you, placing his hands over your cheeks, staring at you with his eyes full of tears. He was scanning every inch of your face and figure, almost as if he wanted to convince himself that you were real, that you were there. He rested his forehead on yours, locking his gaze on yours, making it impossible to break eye contact. “I don’t want to lose you anymore” you whispered. “You saved my life so many times, in so many ways. I always thought it was the wrong time, I always ran away from my feelings but..” you continued, but before you could finish your sentence, he quickly put his lips on yours – shutting you up with a kiss. You could feel tears running on his face. You grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you, reciprocating the kiss.

“I have loved you since we were 18.” he whispered.

[capri-ramblings]

Ooh requests are open! Can I request some headcanons on how the yandere octavinelle trio + Malleus and Lilia would react to their s/o being poisoned and afflicted with sleeping death where the only cure is true loves kiss? And surprisingly, their s/o actually wakes up afterwards.

Excuse me,yansweet, how dare you have such a deliciously well thought idea? I didn't do Azul and Floyd because they ended up a bit too similar with Jade though,so I hope you don't mind! 💖💖

Please Refer to Pinned Post. [This post was set on cued!]

[ True love's kiss? ]

Malleus Draconia

- Malleus is furious at first.

- He's blundering the halls of his castle when he hears of the misfortune cursed onto you

- How dare anyone lay their hands on you? And who were the fools who were so incompetent to allow it in the first place?

- This Fae King is ready to tear down the walls of his ancestral home until Lilia comes to soothe his anger, reminding him that if it was a curse begotten by another other than himself that there would be a cure for it no doubt.

- So,he simmers down. Compels himself to unsheath his claws and fury for another day.

- For now, he must go see you

- He smiles lightly when he does; The mere figure of you laid atop his bed in what seemed to be a deep slumber dousing his rage of fire.

- What an odd feeling he has when you are present. This gentleness that you evoke in his core is something Malleus believes no other being could give him.

- You are his special bride. His soulmate.

- "A true love's kiss" He murmurs underneath his breath, earning glances from both Lilia and Silver as they stood on each of his sides.

- Malleus considers this notion thoughtfully, wondering if he'd be able to do so for he wasn't a fool (though he felt he was one for your love) and he was aware of how stoic and reserved you had been with him despite the closeness he's tried to build with you.

- If he had kissed you then and you remained asleep. It would shatter a great deal of both his pride and heart.

- How would he cope with such a rejection?

- Truly,if he couldn't have you then no one else would have the chance to be.

- But if he did not attempt this then you'd remain asleep forever, and that seemed a fate worst than death or rejection.

- For then you'd be further away from him. You would have your freedom,your peace and he would be left with just a remnant of your existence.

- No, Malleus didn't want that.

- He wanted you, your soul,your laugh. He wanted to see the glistening of life kindling in your eyes, the sound of your voice cooing in his ears.

- If you remained in deep slumber, he would have none of this

- And he'd go mad.

- The world would matter not to him.

- If you demanded a kiss to awaken, he will give it to you. And if you refused him, he would litter your body with each mark of affection he has to offer.

- For if the Fates denied him your love , he would deny the world of peace.

- "Leave."

- The words were an order,drawled out with enough demand that Lilia and Silver didn't spare a second to obey.

- Malleus strode to his bed and allowed his gaze to drink the sight of your serene beauty bared before him, the way the light sprites lingered around you reminding him of a star he saw when he was younger.

- He wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to have him. If you could find it in your heart to accept his twisted one.

- Surely, a life encased in a dream was far from what you wanted as well?

- He knew you always had a spirit for living, and that by keeping you at his side Malleus had taken that away from you.

- But he'd promise to not repeat his mistakes.

- He'd allow you the freedom you so wished for so long as you accepted him as your one and only.

- Your true love. That's what he wanted.

- Malleus takes the place beside you, his weight causing the bed to sink ever so slightly as he leaned down to your face.

- Your subtle scent of flowers and grass greeting his senses almost immediately.

- "Be mine" He cooed,coaxed. Voice as gentle as a summer's breeze, a yearning song from the woods. "And I will give you the world."

- His lips presses onto yours gently and without a hint of greed in it. The sensation of being ruffled by the wind causing Malleus to furrow his brows before he loosened his body and deepened the kiss.

- Once he pulled away and your eyes remained shut, Malleus gripped the sheets. Expression feral, like a wounded beast.

- But then, your chest heaved a fraction more than it did before and Malleus watched in awe as your eyelids began to flutter open and your lips parted in a silent murmur.

- "___?" Your name leaves him breathless as it slips from his mouth and you turn your head in his direction.

- The glazed look in your gaze slowly regaining its composure the longer you lingered on his expression.

- "Malleus..." You called,soft and gentle it has him craning his head over you like a shrine to be worshipped. His hands gathering yours as he lifts them up to his lips where he lets it linger on your skin.

- "Malleus,I...I was asleep..."

- "Cursed,my raven." Malleus cut in, the hint of aggression he held before returning. "Someone had cursed you into an eternal sleep"

- Your expression shifted,from dazed to disbelief as you looked around the room before returning to Malleus's grief stricken form.

- "Eternity didn't seem to change much of your room."

- Malleus's eyes widened.

- Then,he laughed at you for that. A sound so broken and worn,you had trouble believing it came from the very same Fae who you knew to be cold and proud.

- "You didn't reached an eternity yet. I broke the curse." He said, and you tilted your head.

- "How?" The question was a quiet one, as if you didn't want to stir up the silence in the room.

- Malleus looked you straight in the eyes then. Gaze still and unwavering.

- "With a kiss." He said "A true love's kiss."

- And if that didn't answer his pleas, then perhaps, you could tell him yourself. For now, he knew the Fates were on his side and nothing you say would make him think otherwise.

Jade Leech

- Jade is livid.

- The very seams of control and patience he's paid attention to uphold slips through his facade like sand and his fists feel cold.

- The rush of aggression coursing through his veins then makes him see red as he strides his way to you.

- Floyd and Azul are waiting on him there, each standing at either side of your bed. He wants to tell them off for it, to bare his jaws and tell them that he didn't need anyone to play nurse for you.

- He knows it's unreasonable to act in such a way but he can't help it.

- All that meticulous planning to keep you from others reach, wasted.

- And it's entirely your fault,isn't it? You and your stubborn will to slither away from your one and only. The ungratefulness has Jade seething with more rage than he could ever contain.

- If only you'd stay put and not run off...This wouldn't be happening. You wouldn't be hit by that curse and Jade wouldn't need to wrack his brain for a solution to this mess.

- His wrath is silent though. Not a single word escapes him as he takes in the sight of your sleeping figure.

- Floyd makes a chide comment about it, ignoring the harsh glower in Jade's eyes but ultimately saved by Azul who seemed able to read the mood and divert the topic towards another.

- It takes days for them to figure out the cure for your curse but even when it's laid on the table before him, Jade finds himself frowning.

- A true love's kiss? What kind of childish fantasy was this? How could a curse strong enough to keep you asleep for an eternity be broken by a mere kiss?

- Surely this was some sort of joke. Jade turns to Azul for another possibility, but the Octo-Mer simply shakes his head.

- Jade involuntarily clicks his tongue, something he rarely does so openly but he thanks Azul for the information and asks to be left alone.

- He doesn't need anyone telling him the consequences if his kiss doesn't stir you awake.

- Then again, if he doesn't at least attempt to do anything, you'd remained unconscious and that was practically a death sentence wasn't it?

- Jade applauds you for making him internally conflicted. The fact that you alone could make him want to tear apart the world was no small feat after all.

- He somehow feels entitled to answer this ridiculous demand of yours, seeing that if he does wakes you up then it will be something he'll use against you

- Because if Jade breaks the curse it means you and him were meant to be, and he'd have the proof for it.

- So,he swallows his rage and he leans down to kiss you.

- In that moment where you actually stir awake and let out this almost pained gasp, Jade finds himself staring at you in awe.

- The very chains of his possessiveness coiling around you as his thoughts gathered together in one single notion of acceptance.

- He was your true love's kiss.

- How fascinating. How rewarding.

- Safe to say after this little event, Jade's primal aggression over you heightens to a frightening degree. Though oddly enough, he lets you do whatever you wished, going as far as allowing you to live away from him.

- And this is because, Jade has the full assurance that no matter how far a distance you placed between you and him or how harsh you acted towards his affection, it doesn't change the fact that if you were to fall into a deep slumber, the only one to pull you out from it is none other than Jade himself.

Lilia Vanrouge

- Lilia's temper simmers but he isn't entirely mad enough to start a war.

- No,he's a patient man and one with boundless knowledge.

- He's quick to identify the curse as a traditional sleeping curse and finds the cure for it rather amusing.

- He doesn't know if he's your so called true love, knowing very well that the relationship he's put you in is one similar to eternal confinement, but his heart flutters at the thought of you waking up because of his kiss, even if he knows it will never happen.

- Lilia is enamored by you, so much that he's taken note of every single aspect of your life. From your lineage to the people you linger about with to that boy you've always been in love with ever since your childhood years.

- You can't really hide anything from him, can you?

- He wonders if he can cheat the little curse with a transfiguration spell but then laughs at himself for such naive thinking.

- Instead, he sings you songs, every night. Not lullabies or love poems, but songs of ancient Faes. The kind that spins humans into a web of submission both body and soul.

- Oh,he knows he isn't your true love but he could be the one you can't live without, and that's all the same for Lilia.

- The song weakens the spirit of a human, and in turn the body itself, and a curse will only last for either a certain amount of time or until the one afflicted by it is dead. So, Lilia pushes you into a near death state, lulling your senses so dangerously low until you're pale as death and he can barely hear your heartbeat.

- Then seconds before you die, he cuts the curse off and reverse the song, healing you completely. It's a flawless plan yet risky if not handled by the right hands. Lilia smiles at his success, and that smile broadens when he leans down to kiss you, minutes before you stir awake and find that the person you lifted your curse was none other than Lilia himself.

- You're confused, but relieved. You hadn't remembered how you were placed under such spell but you remember the death-like state you felt, the way your body seemed to grow weaker each passing day you kept your eyes shut, but then as immediately as it happened, the heavy burden disappears and is replaced by the most soothing sensation you've ever experienced.

- And it's all because Lilia kissed you?

- You couldn't actually believe it, but how do you doubt something that felt as gentle as the lips that saved you?

- Perhaps, you've misjudged him. Suddenly,Lilia didn't seem all that hard to love.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Begrudging Allies (Aaron Hotchner x Trans!Male!Reader)

Summary: Aaron and Y/N's marriage is suitable enough, given that Aaron secretly loves men and Y/N secretly is a man. When the one year anniversary of their amicable nuptials brings forth correspondence from their estranged families, Aaron takes the opportunity to potentially make something more out of their arrangement.

AN: This is one of my entries to the "Enemies 2 Lovers" challenge set by @imagining-in-the-margins​ on Tumblr!

Reader is trans male and uses he/him pronouns. 

WC: 2.4k words

Content Warning: References to era appropriate homophobia/transphobia but nothing actually mentioned. Two dumb fucking gay men trying to flirt.

Photo Credit // Masterlist // AO3

Your name: submit What is this?

Aaron Hotchner and Y/N L/N were served breakfast together every day they were in the house together. They sat not at opposite ends, but the seat left adjacent to them. That way, they did not have to look at each other whilst they ate. Breakfast was the only meal with which they shared each other’s company. Why make it unbearable first thing in the morning? They read the morning paper - and any post - while eating. Only the scrape of their plates and muted chewing was to be heard before the chairs scraped across the floorboards and both men departed.

Today they both received a note from the L/N household back in their old country.

“I assume your letter reads the same as mine,” Y/N dropped his beside his plate before pushing it further away.

Hotchner raised his eye from the headline that had been mildly entertaining him, “It does.”

In cursive flicks, the usual complaints of their emigration had reached his eyes not moments prior. The closing of his family’s letter however broached a new request: a photograph of the happy couple on their first wedding anniversary, specifically a recreation. The ungrateful bunch, the only remaining wedding photographs of the wedding were in their hands.

“I don’t have the dress,” Y/N scoffed and looked aside. Even from this end of the table, Aaron could see that he was trying to mask his tears from the dawn. The wedding day was the culmination of their greatest shames.

At least Aaron had tried to make the best of it, but there was no relief for Y/N until they were in their separate chambers and free from all betrothment attire.

“Suppose we should arrange for a fitting. Though how we’re going to do that without arousing any suspicion here is beyond me.” “Perhaps we can go north, find a seamstress and a wigmaker there.”

Aaron did not patronise Y/N by pretending he understood his plight. He himself had never pictured himself with a wife; worse was that Y/N had never pictured himself to be a wife.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to remain a woman?” He had said after Y/N had confessed during their third arranged rendezvous.

With venom spitting from each syllable, Y/N’s reply was one that he remembered vividly: “I was never a woman to start with.”

They were not friends, they barely spoke, but the enemy of the enemy is a friend. This sentiment made Y/N a begrudging ally.

However it did not make the occasions they had to pretend to be a happily wedded couple any simpler. Y/N did look most becoming in white, but Aaron knew that there was no worse day for Y/N than that day in the church. Any reminder was like a stake through the heart.

“I’ll arrange for the fitting,” Aaron quietly volunteered.

Y/N was quick with a brusque reply, “I can organise my own affairs.”

“Of course, but perhaps it would lighten your load if I took on those responsibilities.” Aaron paused as Y/N pushed aside his breakfast plate, his eggs now making his stomach turn. He used his newspaper as a shield, “And as your husband, I give you permission to dress how you please.”

Y/N blinked then nodded. He did not ever say thank you. That was his problem, Y/N, too proud. Too nervous to admit that he had been graciously allowed to exist like this because of his marriage to Aaron. As if that was ever any part of their agreement, both of them had blackmail worthy material. Y/N just seemed to forget that, or at least he was not the type of individual to dangle Aaron’s secrets before him like a carrot on a stick. Why Y/N thought that Aaron was that type though, he had some idea.

“A member of the bar?” was the response Aaron got from Y/N, disgust thinly veiled, upon their first chaperoned walk through the L/N estate. It must have seemed contradictory later down the line, to be a protector of the laws that criminalised his very own existence. It was not as uncommon as Y/N believed however, and there were much worse laws to break between trials than being attracted to men.

A man of his word, Aaron prepared for a fitting in the comfort of their own home. A friend of theirs was a tailor; accommodations were no economic issue. Of course, this friend did not know either of their secrets, but other than that, he was a companion who would be greeted warmly into their home.

Y/N watched the tailor from the chaise whilst pretending to be interested in a book. His eye would raise itself to see each adjustment made to Aaron’s wedding suit, which he had surprisingly kept – folded in a box at the farthest corner of the house. Then Y/N would go back to the page and reread the top few lines. Every time, Aaron would pretend not to notice. But the jiggle of Y/N’s knee, the absence of progression through the book’s narrative, taught him that Y/N was anticipating this fitting with something more positive than last time.

“All done, thank you, Aaron!” “Y/N, your turn.”

His book snapped shut and Y/N stepped up to the podium. Aaron swapped places with him without acting out the role of an aloof reader. As expected his expression was well disguised as neutral, but Aaron’s practice in law gifted him with a pair of spectacles into the soul. Y/N’s glee of the tape measure taking in his proportions was masked so that only his eyes smiled. Once or twice, the corner of his mouth ticked up, only to iron its creases out when the tailor moved into his eyeline. When asked what colour he would consider, Y/N mulled deliciously his options before selecting a gentle blue. His fingers were cautious but as soon as they touched the royal fabric offered, they fanned out and welcomed it for his new suit.

From the moment they broke apart, his hands were restless. Ticking against his teacup or tapping against his legs were two of their new favourite hobbies. Even when the suit arrived, Y/N could not keep himself still. His beautiful face was scrunched up in the mirror as he attempted for a third time to make the right knot in his cravat. The photographer was waiting for them downstairs.

Aaron sighed and knocked one knuckle to the door, “Allow me.”

Y/N rolled his eyes, “I can do it myself.”

“I know. But this knot will look better.”

Their eyes locked in the mirror, before Y/N turned around and released his tie. His chin pointed parallel to the carpet. His neck was still so as not to drop the breath he was holding. Aaron flicked with the tip of the cravat as his hands slotted it through, his focus on the column of Y/N’s throat, because meeting his gaze now was an impossible feat. They were too close for that. He bent the stalks of his collar into place then stepped back as if to admire his handiwork. But that was not at all what he really regarded.

He cleared his throat, “There.”

As Aaron removed his hands, Y/N spun to face his reflection head on. “Adequate. You’ll have to teach me that one.”

Finally, they greeted their photographer, who had set up his camera in their garden. It was a lovely day, not to be wasted inside. At least that’s what the photographer said as he unceremoniously ushered them into place and posed them to his liking. There was no instruction for how to position their faces so Aaron kept his the same as their original wedding portrait.

His plan for relaxed facial features hit a bump in the road. As the photographer ducked beneath his sheet, Y/N snorted. His hand was quick to follow and it clapped over his mouth. The photographer emerged with concerned curiosity. A strand of his combover was standing on end.

“My apologies, there was a tickle in my throat.” He pressed his lips together and ducked his head, his feet scuffing one inch’s worth of dirt before he regained composure.

The photographer tried again. Aaron could see, in the corner of his eye, that Y/N’s corners of his mouth weighed down to prevent a break but it was unsuccessful.

“Do forgive me,” He said, his voice quivering, “I remembered a jest from last week. It isn’t even worth the laughter it brings.”

Despite his detractions, Y/N kept guffawing to himself as the photographer kept dodging about his cloth and camera. It spilled from between his pressed lips like an overflowing goblet. Aaron had not heard such delight before. He would describe it as infectious if the joy in Y/N’s notes was comparable to a plague. No, this was intoxicating, a mead he would heartily drink until he too was giddy on the stuff. Y/N, clutching Aaron’s arm to stay standing, almost stumbled as Aaron bent over with equally bashful laughter.

“It would possibly suit you better if you sat,” said the photographer through a faux smile. He then ushered over to one of the benches, the one amidst the tulips, before he wrangled with his camera after them.

Seated on the cool marble, Aaron kept a few inches between himself and Y/N. Their hands took that space but waited to hold hands. Y/N was still shaking but his smile was minute now, replaced by mild embarrassment.

“It wasn’t that funny,” He said. But there was a twitch in his voice, a breath that indicated otherwise.

“No, not at all,” whispered Aaron, his head tilted against the invisible line between them.

Y/N turned, his nose pushing their boundary and almost brushing against Aaron’s cheek when he too turned to face him.

“At long last, we agree.”

Y/N’s lips betrayed him again. A bubble of laughter popped between them, letting out the smallest of smiles. Yet it shone through with such luminosity that it almost outdid the flash of the bulb as their photograph was taken. There was delight at the absence of the melancholy pose that a long exposure wedding portrait promised. Oh, the wonders of new technology.

As was with his new suit, Y/N practically waited by the door for the photographs. His hands were beyond ravenous for them by the time they arrived. They snatched at the envelope and tore with as much care as he could muster, his voice catching in the roof of his mouth as he called for Aaron.

On the chaise together, their knees were brought in close to rest the papers upon. Their faces looked as though they were carved into the paper with charcoal, smudged by an artist’s thumb. That radiant smile among it all was the centre of the photograph. Aaron noted the distance between them was mirrored in their past selves as they sifted through their options.

Then Y/N held aloft the ones for their respective families, “Sit with me while I pen the reply.”

Aaron was not usually welcome in Y/N’s study. Yet, as he pulled up a walnut wood chair with red velvet seat beside the bureau, behind Y/N’s matching one, he felt like he was in place. With anticipation, he watched the most passive aggressive comments that had ever been put to paper. All bar one was spun from Y/N’s inspiration. Aaron had but one to add and it took some convincing for Y/N to put it in his family’s correspondence – he was writing since his writing was far neater. Even so, there were a few loops of the ‘l’s that slanted when Y/N was particularly amused by something that Aaron had commented on.

“There,” Y/N said as he closed the second of two envelopes with crimson wax. As he lifted the seal, he spoke quieter, “Just a thought, nothing more, but I almost wish I could see their faces. Only the first second though.” The seal was placed in his drawer and the letters were left in the centre of the desk while one remaining photograph was selected by Y/N, “I want to keep this. In the drawing room.”

Aaron’s eyebrows jumped up his forehead, “You do?”

Y/N nodded once with finality, his broad smile returning, “It’s the first time I was myself in a long time, the best I’ve ever looked! Besides, I am your husband and I say it will stand above the fireplace by the end of the week – once I find a suitable frame.”

He held it up, squinting to imagine what frame might work best with the décor. His chair itching to be closer, Hotch leant over and cupped his hand over Y/N’s so that he could see the photograph too. It stayed there, and perhaps it was his imagination, but Hotchner could have sworn that Y/N’s back slacked and swayed to the right an inch, almost resting against his shoulder beside Aaron’s.

Y/N’s quiet voice was back, “Thank you, Aaron.”

“You do not have to say thank you.”

“When are you going to stop telling me what to do?”

There was no accusation in it; it was asked as simply as one would ask for another napkin. But Aaron did not quite know how to answer.

“I don’t mean to come across as a drill sergeant,” He said softly.

“Aaron,” Y/N lowered their hands but kept them together beside his lap, “You don’t have to worry about me and what I’m going to do, just like I don’t have to worry about you.”

And what Aaron thought about being ignorant of an answer before, that became a lie. Aaron wanted to worry about Y/N, and he did worry. Not for himself or his identity being exposed, but because he did care for his husband. He didn’t want to worry or have Y/N be worried about control in their home. They should exist as equals, not in blackmail but in respect. Maybe one day, in love.

Aaron settled instead for: “My apologies. And I thank you too. It was the first time I was myself as well.”

Y/N blinked, then avoided his stare. It was a revelation therefore when he laced his fingers with Aaron’s for the briefest of squeeze and replied, “No thanks necessary. It was my pleasure.”

Then the bell tinkled for breakfast and the two men were up on their feet. Y/N was in the dining room first. He sat two away from the head of the table this time. With enough care to drag his chair loudly across the floor, Aaron mirrored that seating, dragging his cutlery and crockery into place. As they were served, Y/N swiped the newspaper before his husband could with a smirk hidden behind the pages. Hotchner poured his coffee and smiled into the brew. He was, for once, thoroughly glad that they had breakfast together.

----> ----> ----> ----> ---->

Tagging

Aaron Hotchner fics: @averyhotchner​

[jadedxrealityw]

-Strange Girl- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

    ♡~🐍~♡

    Request:   can you do one where draco realizes he likes the reader and wants to kiss her but he is scared so once she is by herself one day he goes up to her and kisses her and he is embarrassed but she kisses him again 🥺🥺 and she’s a hufflepuff

    Kody: This is gonna be a short one, but sweet nonetheless.

    Year: 7th

    House: Hufflepuff

    Possible Triggers/Warnings: fluff overload, Draco being a nervous wreck because i like torturing him. 

    ♡~🐍~♡

    herbology was your favorite class at Hogwarts. Plants and learning about their magical properties were just something you found extremely interesting. It was also where you met your soon to be favorite person. Draco Malfoy had been chatting it up with his friends and go himself a detention after lunch.

   being you, you spent most of your time in the herbology classroom. So after lunch when Draco Malfoy went to serve said detention you were there, but no professor? How strange. He had thought he walked into the wrong classroom for a moment.

    Roll Flashback

   “Professor Sprout?” a males voice called out. Startled, you quickly go to stand up, but hit your head on the table you were under instead causing a loud thud and slight pain. “Ouch!” you squeaked, reaching up to rub the top of your head with the pal of your head to sooth the pain.

   “Who the bloody hell are you?” turning your head, your met with cold grey eyes that bore deep within your soul. Draco. Malfoy. Damnit. “Um Y/n L/n, Hufflepuff, 7th year- uh sorry!” you sputter, being intimidated by this tall platinum blond Slytherin.

   he raises a brow and looks around “Where the Professor?” he asked, referring to the first statement he had said. “She usually just asks me to watch the ‘troubled kids’ as she calls it, but they just end up leaving because i’m not threatening in the slightest. She gave you a list of stuff to do i presume?”

   you lean down and pick up the empty pots from the ground you had dropped before you got there, keeping your hand up so he could hand you the paper. Draco looked at you weirdly. You were fully aware of the fact people chose to walk all over you? ‘What a strange girl’ he thought.

  he nonetheless reaches into his robe pocket to hand you the sheet of folded up parchment. His fingers grazed your hand as he slipped it in your palm. You felt your face flush slightly, but grab it anyway. You lean back up, placing the pots on the table and use one hand to unfold the paper, quite skillfully.

   you eyes scanned the few items on the list and you smiled gleefully ‘How fun’ you thought. You turn your attention to the Slytherin and nod once “Thank you. Now just avoid Sprout for like an hour and you should be okay. I suggest just hanging out in your common room for now”

   Draco’s blinks mindlessly for a second or two. “How- How come your just letting me leave? You seem like a goody two shoes. Why not just rat me out?” a amused smirk played on his lips as he spoke. You reach under the cupboard and grab the bag of soil that was under, placing it down.

   you look up at the ceiling, indicating you were thinking “Um- well, i believe that we shouldn’t have to ‘do extra’ for a class we aren’t really interested in. I, on the other hand love herbology, so i don’t mind the extra work. You rather do something in Alchemy right?”

   your words seem to catch him off guard How did you know that? He crosses his arms with a distasteful look “Oh so your some bloody stalker aren’t you?” he hisses, which makes you twinge a bit, but you stand your ground “We have been in the same potions class since first year. You speak quite loudly”

   you let out a small laugh, but Draco just huffs and makes a dramatic exit ‘Strange bloody girl’ he thought while storming off

    ♡~🐍~♡

   after that, Draco began to take notice to you in potions class. For someone who liked herbology a whole lot, you exceeded in in potions almost as well as he did. How in his right mind had he not seen you before? Maybe it was because if a person didn’t wear a green lined robe, he tuned them out.

   a month or so would pass and we would continue getting detentions in herbology, but would actually aid you in his own punishment chores this time. You both made small talk and Draco grew to like your company. You didn’t seem to be afraid of him, well not to much.

   you also found yourself growing closer to the Slytherin, but in a romantic way. You just couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard you tried. What really got you was when he took off his robe and vest and rolled up the sleeves of the white collared shirt. It. Was. Hot

   but out of the herbology classroom, you were nothing more then the strangers you were a month ago. Your friends had convinced you to try and get over him because it wouldn’t result in anything other then avoidable heartbreak. Draco on the other hand was a oblivious idiot. 

   “So let me guess, when you talk to Y/n you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, your palms get sweaty, your heart rate starts to pick up, and you kind of want to kiss her?” Blaise explained, brow raised in a amused manner. Draco’s jaw dropped, dropping his book “How do you know that!”

   the tall Slytherin boy chuckled “because you won’t stop talking about her. Its driving me, Theo, and Pans up the wall. Just ask her out” he shakes his head. Theo and Pansy nod from there side of the sofa in agreement “Please, we beg you. It’s so obvious you like her. Its painful” Pansy groans.

   Draco’s pale face turned a light shade of pink as he clicked his tongue “I do not like Y/n. That’s absurd! She’s a Hufflepuff anyway, what would my father think?” he crossed his arms. “In case you haven’t noticed mate all three of us are still alive and well”

   “What does that mean?” Draco asked, a confused expression on his face. Blaise sighs deeply and lifts his hand that is interlocked with Theos “All three of us? Gay. Pansy? She’s dating Ginny Weasley. A Gryffindor girl. We are living proof that your father will be pissed, but won’t shit” Blaise xplained. 

   Draco seemed to have an epiphany and pushed up and off from the black loveseat. Tripping over his feet, he zoomed out of the Slytherin common room leaving his friends slightly stunned “What do you think he’s going to do?” Theo asked with an excited smile.

   “Trip over some stairs and die at this rate” Pansy let out a snort. Blaise shook his head and stood up from the sofa with Theo “Will be in my dorm room, alone. Bye Pansy” Blaise spoke quickly as he began to drag Theo into the halls. The brown haired Slytherin boy smiled and waved “Bye Pans!”

   seconds later Pansy grumbled “I hate being single- oh wait. Ginny!” she yelled as she followed Draco out of the common room to find her girlfriend. 

    ♡~🐍~♡

   running down the halls of Hogwarts, he made a sharp turn to the exit. He pushed open the doors, the cold air hitting his exposed skin. He should not have ran out of the common room only wearing a black t-shirt with dark grey sweats. He even forgot shoes and was only wearing socks. What a lovesick boy he was. 

   he made his way behind the school to the greenhouse where he had met you all those weeks ago. Hoping to find you there. As the pale boy pushed the door open, there was no one to be seen. “Y/n!?” he shouted, but nobody came.(Someone has to get that reference please)

   a confused look played on his features. Your always here and now your not? He had no time to mull over that fact and left the greenhouse. Searching the school felt like hours, when in reality was only about ten minutes. He had even waited outside the Hufflepuff common room for awhile.

   waiting had only made his heart race more in anticipation. He wanted to see you. He needed to see you. He soon found himself walking back to the greenhouse. “Draco?” his head snaps up like an owl. There you were with a confused expression,  E/c eyes looking up and down his body.

   why wasn’t he wearing shoes? It was also dreadfully cold out and he didn’t have any jumper of sorts, while you looked as warm as a marshmello. “Why don’t you have shoes. Are you alright?” you asked, worry clear in your tone. Draco didn’t answer, just walked towards you.

   you raise a brow, placing the bag of soil on the ground. As soon as you lean back up a pair of lips clash with yours. His lips move against yours in a feverish way, almost hungry. Draco pulls away and looks down at your shocked face. Oh shit. 

   “Oh- no. I apologize for that. I- I didn’t- well i did mean to, but i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m going to kill Blaise-” he was forcing words out which seemed to bring you back to reality so you could grab a fistful of his t-shirt and bring his head down to your height.

   now it was your turn to kiss the shocked boy. It didn’t take him long to react because his hands found your hips rather quickly. he stepped closer, pushing his chest against yours. Kisses eventually got more sloppy before he pulled away for air “I- uh- wow?” he said, unsure of what to say. You chuckle softly.

   “Yeah, wow. Now let’s get you inside. Your so cold” You say, grabbing his chilled hands, interlocking his fingers with yours. He nodded slowly “Please” he said, a small smile forming. You both made your way back inside the school, holding hands and smiling. 

   “What in the bloody hell just happened?” Cedric asked, looking towards the  Gryffindor boy who had watched the whole scene with him.

   Harry seemed to sputter a bit before answering “i- i have no clue. We should do that though” 

   “What?”

   “Nothing!”

    ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody: short, sweet, kill me im so tired. Anyways peace. I also ordered a Draco Malfoy love letter on etsy, so when that comes in February, expect a post about it lmao.