#regardless of the fact that there are gay and or trans men who are feminine !

[emokaveh]

"babygirl is gender neutral!" except u only use it for dudes w (western ideas of) feminine features, and you constantly stereotype them into the role of tiny feminine twink whos always the submissive bottom no matter what their actual personality is like. and then portray whoever ur shipping them w as this big muscular domtop masc.

not to mention these r also the same dudes u 'hc' as trans so u can give em a pussy. imagine

some of u will have to accept that u are looking for cisheteronormative ships but hate women too much to ship them w anyone

[okaima]

Karelian language - Gender and sexual identities

Homo, homoseksuallińe - gay man Lesbo, lezbijanka* - lesbian, gay woman Biseksuallińe, bijanka - bisexual person Panseksuallińe - pansexual Aseksuallińe - asexual

Transsugupuoline - trans person Intersugupuoline - intersex person Muunsugupuoline - nonbinary person Cissugupuoline - cis person

Seksuallizus - sexuality Sugupuoli-identitietta - gender identity

Sugupuoli - gender or sex

*In Republic of Karelia, the word lezbijanka has negative connotation and lesbo is more commonly used

In modern times most karelians use these loanwords based on anglosphere views on gender and sexuality.

Traditionally speaking the views on gender and sexuality have been somewhat different, and words used have been more poetic and descriptive in many ways. Gender is seen as one role among others and as such, "mother" and "man" for example are not roles that contradict each other in any way, even if it is less common than being "woman" and "mother".

Without going into too many details here are few examples:

"On ukonvembelehes aliči käynnyh." - lit. "has walked under the reinbow*" - person who has changed their sex and role (gender) in which they live. Roughly speaking a trans person.

Example sentence: "Ozutat ilokkahambale nygöi gu olet ukonvembelehes aliči käynnyh." - "you seem happier now that you've transitioned." "Olen ukonvembelehes aliči käynnyh," - "I am trans person."

(*the association of rainbow is rooted on Karelian belief system in which person who passes from under rainbow has their sex changed, and the fact that rainbow is western lgbt+ symbol is coincidence.)

"eule yksis ruutois" - lit. "isn't in one (set of) traditional clothes" - person who travels between and beyond two genders, a "nonbinary*" person.

Example sentence: "En ole yksis ruutois." - "I am nonbinary."

*"gender binary" should be used in very loose relation to karelian traditions as "man" and "woman" are not seen as opposite ends of binary (or any other) scale any more than birch and spruce are only trees in existence or opposites to each other. Traditional views of karelians are rarely if ever linear.

Kaksńeuvoni* - lit. "person with two/many of advice/guiding/ instruction/ tools". A (visibly) intersex person.

*Please note that some people find this term offensive due to its similarity to old Finnish slur for people with ambiguous genitalia.

Example sentence: "Rodivuin kaksńeuvozenna." - "I was born intersex." "Olen kaksńeuvoni briha." - "I am intersex man."

Miehii suačii mies, brihoi suačii briha - lit. man who loves men

Example sentence: "Miun velli on miehii suačii mies, vai miehii suačou." - "My little brother is gay man, he is only interested in men." "Olen miehii suvaičii mies, a dai naizii suačen." - "I love men, but I'm also interested in women."

Buzaniekka - Man who wears pearls, man who loves men.

Akkoinpaimoi, akkoinpäiväińe - lit. wives' herder, wives' sun. "Feminine" man, man who prefers working with and spending time with women

Ristivellet - lit. cross brothers. Men who have exchanged their neck-crosses or other similar tokens. Can mean deeply close friends or male couple

Naizii suačii naińe, neidizii suačii neidińe - lit. woman who loves women

Karžuniekka - woman who loves women. Has also meant unmarried woman with implication she doesn't wish to marry a man.

Lepänakka, tabakka-akka - lit. alder's wife, tobacco-wife. "Masculine" woman, woman who prefers working with and spending time with men

Rističikot - lit. cross sisters. Women who have exchanged neck-crosses or other similar tokens. Can mean deeply close friends or female couple

"Kävelöy kahtel puolel." - lit. "One who walks on both sides." - person who loves others regardless of gender, roughly bi- or pansexual.

Example sentence: "Kävelen kahtel puolel, ollou mies, naine libo ei yksis ruutois." - "I am bi-/pansexual, I don't care about gender." "Häi on kahtel puolel kävelii, kaikkie suačou." - "They are pan-/bisexual, they don't care about gender."

[cocklessboy]

Over 2.5 years into HRT I still get imposter syndrome. I feel any hint of femininity creeping up on me and I push it down, bury it. I had femininity forced on me for 35 years! I don't want it anymore!

And I would tell any man, cis or trans, that there's no one right way to be a man, that men can be feminine or soft or emotional or cute. And they can be hard and strong and macho. They can be either, they can be both in one person. Most people are probably a little of both, regardless of gender, anyway! It's all cool! Everyone is different and that's amazing!

In fact, I love soft boys most of all. I love it when guys are a little feminine. When they're gentle and soft. A little girly. I'm fucking GAY! The fact that I'm NOT visibly feminine in any way actually gets in the way because other gay guys don't clock me!

But for over 2.5 years, I've been around people who knew me as a girl first. None of them rejected me outright or anything, but they all slipped up. All the time. They'd use the wrong name. Wrong pronouns. Other gendered terms. They'd catch themselves and quickly correct. I knew they didn't mean it. But deep down, some part of them still saw me as a girl.

And it still happens. All this time, later, it still happens.

I've spent all this time trying to be as MAN as possible to stop that from happening, but... it hasn't. It hasn't worked. The people who always knew me as a girl still think of me as one on some level. No matter how DUDE and BRO and MAN and GUY I try to be.

Meanwhile I'm holding back part of my personality. For what? To make it easier on them?

It's bullshit. I'm done. I'm gonna be a DUDE when I'm feeling DUDE and I'm gonna be a faggy little gay boy when I'm feeling like one. I gotta stop being such a hypocrite, telling other guys in my life it's okay to be soft, then burying all the softness in myself.

[azureintrigue]

Ok now do MK1 KUNG LAO YOU WERENT FINISHED WITH ME YET! I feel like..there’s this one thingy I’ll tell you in thingy but I think you would understand it

BACK TO THE COAL MINES FOR ME...

Sexuality Headcanon: I HC him as also Bi, but he strongly prefers men, to the point where he probably thought he was gay for a long time. Bro didn't have a gay awakening, he had a Bi one. (Like me fr.) Gender Headcanon: CIS!! But he still uses He/They and sometimes even She. I think he finds pronouns to be a silly thing, but he's content with what he has. He wouldn't be offended if someone calls him pretty, or beautiful or typically 'feminine' compliments. He's cis here in my head, because Liu Kang wanted his bff to be able to be happy and not have to experience the crippling dysphoria he watched him struggle with. He's got a funny thing with gender, definitely sees himself as a man, but doesn't mind if other people see him differently. That strong kinda self-confidence that just genuinely makes him happy in his body regardless of what other people think. A ship I have with said character: I LIKE HANLAO HELP ME. I also Love Railao. Anything where he can be happy but also has that nice bit of angst in it... A BROTP I have with said character: OKAY HEAR ME OUT. LET ME COOK. KUNG LAO AND TOMAS. THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE SO BROCODED I LOVE THEM AAAUUGGGGHH melts away into a pile of sand. A NOTP I have with said character: Exploding the pancakes of people who ship him with Liu Kang /J /J /J I am joking i promise. I just personally don't like the ship. A random headcanon: Half-Filipino on his dads side, but never knew either of his parents. From the Cagayan De Oro area, he can speak Mandarin, Bisayan, and Standard Tagalog. This is part was inspired by the fact he just seems like a Chismoso and also by the fact in Mortal Kombat: Conquest, his actor was Paolo Montalban, a filipino man.

General Opinion over said character: AAAAUUGGH I WANT TO PICK HIM UP AND SHAKE HIM LIKE A SNOWGLOBE PLEASEEE UGHHH I LOVE HIM. I don't relate to him as much as MK11 Lao but LORD IS HE PRETTY AND LORD AM I A FAN. He's absolutely my favorite in MK1, followed by Quan Chi, and Rain. Honestly, I welcome all gender hcs for this goober. Trans, genderfluid, agender, bigender. I can see all of them fitting. Also Homophobia and transphobia don't exist in the MK1 universe Liu Kang eradicated it sorry I don't make the rules.

[dekusleftsock]

Izuku is such a weird character when it comes to a shonen fandom, bc not only do his stans and antis completely misunderstand and fanonize his character, but they also end up pushing misogyny and homophobia onto him too.

On one hand, you have Izuku the smol boy. He needs to be protective, he’s nurturing, etc. overall he posses more “feminine” traits bc people want to fit him into a specific gay stereotype. Sometimes people even mix this up by making him more “feral”, when people knowingly make him ooc, but end up actually making him MORE accurate than if he was the former. Because to them, gay men fit into two boxes: mean/creepy (Katsuki, todoroki, etc.) or nice/feminine. They view him and many other gay people as simple cookie cut out stereotypes that were a mixture of fandom culture and also propaganda going back decades in the US.

They don’t view him as a full fledged hero, nor a capable man and human being. Someone who is responsible for his own actions, masculine, etc. because if they actually did see his full CHARACTER, they could no longer see him as the gay stereotype they want him to be. People want to have heteronormative dynamics and relationships, someone always has to be the “woman” or “man” in the relationship. Regardless of the actual gender they are, they need to fulfill an agenda. And because deku cries a lot or was bullied and is often seen as weak in the story, he is automatically the woman in the relationship. It stems from both misogyny and homophobia.

But bkdk CONSISTENTLY defy that! They are defined by their masculinity. It’s seen as something positive to be, and dekus constant crying is never inherently seen in the story as feminine. I’ve seen time and time again where gay relationships/people are pushed into a certain role in a heterosexual relationship they are supposed to fill. Take Robin from stranger things. Now, I love Robin, don’t get me wrong, but the first time that we see IN OUR FACE that she is openly a lesbian and attracted to a woman, it’s with Steve. Steve is fine, sure, but the problem is that steve presents an immediate heteronormative narrative in the first episode of season 4. Going on and on about how boobs are great and that it’s not a bad thing to just say boobs, but this is child’s play. This feels inherently *heterosexual*. I’m a gay trans man, so idk if I can voice this for anyone, so I’ll just screenshot my sisters response.

(She’s awesome, love her to death. Really fucking intelligent too)

This heteronormative narrative that the mha fandom continuously tries to push is the same one that the duffer brothers use. Wills character has kinda been reduced to the fact that he pines for a man he can’t have, once again pushing a character into a female or a male in the relationship. Usually the lesbian or gay one.

This rule has exceptions of course, like Luz is reduced by her fandom as the masculine one. Which is not only rooted in homophobia/misogyny but also racism. Or raine as a nb character in a sapphic relationship being put into a more feminine role because Eda has already fit that narrative according to the fandom.

But it doesn’t change the fact that Izuku is not a “feminine” man. They want him to fulfill a role in their smut as the bottom in the relationship, he has to be sexual, etc. because if he isn’t, then they have to see him as a full PERSON. Izuku possesses “masculine” traits. He has the worst sense of style, has anger issues, gets a little nervous around girls, likes heroics (something that’s been established as being seen as “masculine” in the show), is a bit creepy, etc. and people seem to throw these traits out the window in fics or other media.

These are just a few things you see when you look up bkdk ALONE! There’s more too! These are full on adults a lot of the time too! Sexualizing a character that hardly looks mature either. It’s weird and entirely rooted in homophobia and misogyny.

And on the other hand, you have the dudebros. People who entirely believe that there is no way Izuku is gay in any light and disrespect anyone who does. On top of that they completely erase and or make fun of his more “feminine” traits in favor of pushing more masculine ones. They will erase any characters queer coding and call anyone weird for having a head cannon about a character.

They fully believe that Izuku should be a “real man” and beat up Katsuki, maybe tell him off, etc. because they too want him to fulfill a role in toxic masculinity no matter HOW MUCH this show calls it out! A lot of Katsuki’s character is based in toxic masculinity alone with deku’s. When deku bottles up his emotions like what he’s “supposed to do”, people think it’s normal or character development even.

They entirely lack both literary analytical skills and basic knowledge on the character you’re looking at. “Manga deku” does not exist. It was his vigilante arc and from start to finish it was never good. The story itself shows that this did nothing but hurt deku and almost kill him.

This is, once again, rooted in homophobic and misogynistic stereotypes and make an assumption of a main character based on other shonen animes. Deku is not allowed to be a crybaby or he’ll show emotions, Izuku is not allowed to have too close relationships with other male characters or it is a detriment to his female love interest, or even that Izuku is not allowed to ask for help in his battle with shigaraki. Even though, pushing the people he lives away was the entire reason all might and nana failed.

So, what, the point is that mha’s community on all sides is misogynistic and homophobic? PRECISELY. No matter which angle I’ve looked at any shonen community there is always always always at least half of the fandom consists of people who have zero clue how a gay relationship works. That it’s different from a straight relationship. And the fact that horikoshi is really leaning into the direction of bkdk being canon I’m gonna say that he’s well aware of this and wants to break it. Show a couple that is defined by their homosexuality rather than wrapped in a thin sheet of “heteronormativity” like many other shows choose to do. Namely, shows written by non queer people. Like the duffer brothers.

I only hope for the best when it comes to these two. They’ll definitely be a symbol far bigger than the mha community. Maybe even something for the queer anime community as a whole. And I’ll fucking love it if it happens.

[xirae]

LOL maybe a hypothesis I have around PC Music/hyperpop is that in its escalation of pop music tropes to the extremes, it renders all of its artists women before contact with the listener - and in many cases, they literally borrow other women like Hannah Diamond or Charli XCX or Caroline Polachek. Wrt my last theory post on how woman-fronted pop music gets decoded and recoded to express queer subjectivity in cis gay men, I might argue hyperop doesn't replicate this process as much as parody and further distort it. It's like another link a chain but it mutates, it's like the next strand in DNA that didn't come out quite right and now it's fuckt. Mainstream pop music is DNA created correctly, but the moment it turns hyper, the next link in the chain no longer takes in dominant values but parody dominant values, the next link morphs, becomes toxic. This analogy might be off, some sort of weird shenanigans is at hand though.

Regardless, there has to be some sort of connection between the hyperpop processes and the mainstream pop processes. Even though SOPHIE was trans and explicit about it in her music, both in her pop music form and her lyrics, she had a large gay following. SO many of these gays are coming from different parts of the more mainstream and classic pop scene - so many of them, like me, are dedicated pop followers who treasure Lady Gaga, who continue to studiously engage with Madonna's and Janet Jackson's somewhat dated pop careers, who worship the alt pop girls and our choice of main pop girls, etc etc. We definitely related to pop music through the decoding and recoding of mainstream pop objects, but we found a new brand of likewise woman-fronted pop that fed something else in us in addition. It just feels like a continuation, the femininity still an essential aspect, the woman-fronting still important to nearly being essential, disidentification with the dom culture still at play. The fact that hyperpop borrowed from and heavily intersected the mainstream pop base means that its processes, its "structures of feeling" maybe, are at least shared a little with those of mainstream pop, or they run parallel. I could be wrong, but that's my current starting point

[lettucedloophole]

hi apologies if youve alr made a post abt this (if u have, then maybe u can add a link to that specific post?) but i just wanted to ask for ur perspective bc this is smth i keep getting hung up on and i rlly only trust u to answer:

why would abolishing gender be harmful to trans ppl if transphobia stems from emphasis on traditional gender roles, and the abolishment would further their focus on relieving dysphoria thru physical sex change instead of relieving it by having to conform to sociological femininity and masculinity as a means to adapt in this patriarchal society?

thank you for taking the time to read and answer this <3

no worries! i haven't made a post about this before since no one's asked, but i'll answer it right here for you.

the answer is, it wouldn't be harmful. abolishing gender would ultimately be the best for everyone, but especially lgbt people & women. however... the contextualization of this point is what makes or breaks it. let me explain--

trans people have a negative reaction when people discuss abolishing gender not only for the same reason cis people might (a kneejerk reaction to protect the status quo), but also for the very valid reason of wanting to defend transness in a transphobic society. it's the same reason why some gay people will react negatively to the fact that homosexuality is a social construct, and therefore cannot be innate; most people use this argument to justify homophobia & patriarchy.

the thing is, to abolish gender, sex must also be abolished as it's the primary method of naturalizing gender. sex is a social construct-- it's not natural. however, terfs and any garden variety conservative will reify gender through the naturalization of sex. they'll say, "cis women and men are natural, but trans people aren't. therefore, they must be eliminated." similarly, "heterosexual people are natural, but gay and bi people aren't. therefore, they must be eliminated." eliminated can mean killed or, forcibly dissolved into the "natural" categories via bullshit self-loathing propaganda.

a really easy way to understand why this is so upsetting to trans people is just comparing their situation to gay people or women's, really, as they are so similar. if you walked up being like "wow i cant wait for gays to be abolished<3" ofc people will assume you mean it in a homophobic sense rather than a complicated, radical feminist sense, and if you're focusing on the abolition of minority groups in particular, it does likely stem from bigotry. not saying that you've said anything like that lol, but those examples are the best way i can illustrate the point.

also, everyone on the internet hates radical feminism, so regardless of how eloquently you explain your point & how sensible it is, if you associate it with radical feminism people will ignore what you say, misinterpret you so severely that it seems deliberate but could very well be internet stupidity, and also throw tomatos at you. 😭 radfems, matfems & a handful of marxist, anarchist, intersectional fems + womanists are the only ones i trust to not be covert antifeminists.

last p.s.: we don't know what a society outside of patriarchy looks like. assuming people will continue getting sex changes assumes the existence of a natural sex binary, though it's possible people may change "sex" characteristics as they please. trans people's issue is not only being forced into gender roles, but a hatred of transness which puts them into a catch-22 regarding survival under patriarchy-- they're "reifying patriarchy" if they transition, but plagued with dysphoria, martyrs to a post-patriarchal world centuries away from us if they don't. perhaps, a similar scenario would be if you told a gay or straight person to simply see people as gender/sexless and to experience attraction, to give affection as though we lived in a post-patriarchal society-- it just wouldn't be possible, and for the gay person who is particularly vulnerable under patriarchy, it would more likely be traumatizing. dworkin put it so succintly in woman hating...

i hope that wasn't too repetitive or long, i just wanted to be thorough. admittedly, this is kind of a loaded answer if you aren't familiar with sex as a social construct, so if you have anymore questions, feel free to ask!

[transenbyconfessions]

I need somewhere to confess this. I’m a bisexual nb trans guy - not medically transitioned, and due to medical issues and the price probably never will be. For my whole life, up until about two and half (maybe 3 now) years ago, I thought I would be alone without a significant other despite being somewhat of a romantic. I figured since I couldn’t transition gay men and straight women would never find me attractive so I wrote off dating them all together, and did the same with straight men and lesbian women because the thought of being perceived as a woman was too difficult for me. With my dating pool severely cut down, and me not being very attractive or having many friends, I figured I’d be forever alone and had to live with that fact.

Then I met him while playing dungeons and dragons. He’s bisexual, he’s a giant nerd, and the only person aside from a few close friends who truly accepts and sees me for who I am. We were friends first (I can’t feel romantic or sexual attraction without being close first, idk why), but started dating about two years ago. We’re moving in together soon, we talk about getting engaged a lot (at this point it’s more of a “when” than an “if” and he has my ring size and preferences and all that), and are an impeccable match with great communication. I’ve never been one really to dream about weddings and stuff, but I can’t stop myself now - I can’t myself asking him “what if” questions about it without even being “officially” engaged yet. He doesn’t find me annoying, and even though I have mental illnesses he’s never considered me a burden. He wants to help me, and love me, and tells me all the time how easy it is to do so - a first for me.

I just needed to confess this somewhere, that there is a happy ending kind of. That despite all the hardships I’ve had with being queer (including unaccepting family), there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and someone who cares out there. And yes, despite being a guy I am thinking of wearing a dress during the wedding ceremony (suit at the reception though). I never would’ve thought I’d be comfortable enough with myself to feel no dysphoria in feminine clothing despite liking the idea of them, but who knew - I guess having someone accept me for who I am regardless of what I wear severely lessens that!

[fugos-lil-fork]

AIGHT SO- These r my Headcanons for the Buccigang and their gender identities/sexualities. In no way do I believe everyone should agree with these or anything. These r just my opinions and everyone has their own Headcanons!

Bruno: MLM/Gay, He/Him

Abbacchio: Gay, Demiandrogyne, He/Him

Mista: Bisexual, He/Him

Narancia: Pansexual, Nonbinary, Demiboy, He/They

Fugo: MLM/Polyromantic (Males & Masc Nonbinary), Demisexual, He/Him

Giorno: MLM/Gay, Transgender (ftm), Androgyny, Neopronouns, He/Him/Luck/Lucky's

Trish: Lesbian/Sapphic, She/Her

REASONING;

Bruno: I mean, I dunno, man just gives me gay man vibes. But gay as in he's attracted to any male identifying individuals or male-aligned individuals (so y'know like a non-binary person that partially identifies as a male) I just don't see him having a relationship with a woman unless it's platonic/a friendship. He's definitely the type of gay to make women fall head over heels for him (obviously not on purpose) then the women become severely disappointed when they find out he's gay- He's the gay that has to deal with those awkward interactions-

-

Abba: Kinda the same for Abba. He just doesn't rub me as the type to like women or other genders- He's a simple man. A simple man that loves men- But he's also demi-androgynous. Since I feel like you could confuse him for a woman for obvious reasons- And in general I feel like he could partially relate/feel connected to women, however, he doesn't actually identity as a woman.

-

Mista: I mean- I don't think I gotta explain this one. This vibes r all there- Despite his croptop he thinks they make him look hot not feminine so he doesn't relate or feel connected to identifying as any other gender-

-

Nara: IT'S THE VIBES BRO- First off, man's color pallet is literally the non-binary flag- Second- Bc of the fact his gender is a bit all over the place he definitely feels attracted to ppl regardless of their gender, therefore, man's Pan. I'd also say he's a Demiboy, he doesn't always feel fully connected to being a guy nor does he always relate to it. Hence why he might appear feminine at times. But I don't think he'd identify as a female. Tbh idk why he gives me the vibes that he'd get mad if ppl assume he's a girl. He doesn't mind wearing feminine clothes but just like Abba, I feel he wouldn't like identifying as one. He'd rather identify without a gender or his assigned gender.

-

Fugo: MLM so y'know like Bruno a male that is attracted to other males or male-aligned individuals. For that same reason I think he'd also identify as Polyromantic meaning he's specifically romantically attracted to males or non-binary (specifically masc non-binary) ppl but not women or ppl who even partially identify as women. I also believe he'd be demisexual in terms and will only have a sexual relationship with his partner if he's been in a deep and serious relationship with them for years otherwise don't expect any sort of sexual relation from this dude-

-

Gio: Again, same as Fugo and Bruno mmmm m e n/m a l e a l i g n e d p p l. At this point I'm completely on board with the trans (FTM) hc of his- I mean- Araki practically wrote it himself- BUT he also identifies as Androgynous given the way he dresses and I'd say even acts at times- However, I don't think he'd identify as a female bc of that. He just like... Understands and relates to women for obvious reasons- and the Neopronouns r kinda funny haha thing for me- Tbh idk to take them serious myself or not 💀 But I liked the idea anyways bc of how Mista called him his "Lucky Boy" and I just liked the idea of at that moment Giorno thinking 'That's... A... Nice word to use a pronoun-' (IN NO WAY DO I MEAN THIS IS A GIOMIS WAY- He just genuinely liked the word as a pronoun 💀 (that's my HC anyways-))

-

Trish: MmmMM w o m e n- She's definitely and completely into girls/female-alinged individuals. After the shit she went through? Constantly being surrounded by men both protecting her but also severely endangering her? Yeah, she's had enough of dudes- /hj. Trish is definitely like... A girly girl when it comes to everything outside of fighting- I just feel like she'd definitely see/describe all males as "too rough and boyish" idk what that'd even mean but essentially she just would always find some sort of discomfort in guys so- A lesbian she is- And I'd definitely say she's someone that's happy and confident with her gender. She loves her body and her gender and wouldn't want to change it for any reason or identify as anything other than herself, which is a AFAB :)

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

I am a gay man. I neither am a lesbian nor have sex with lesbians. I differ to lesbians on what lesbians are attracted to. Idk why you're in my inbox babe.

But I will say that for me I'm attracted to femininity in men, including trans men but I'm not attracted to women, and I assume it's a similar thing for lesbians but with women instead of men.

Also being attracted to femininity/masculinity isn't sexist, usually that just comes down to preference, which can stem from internalized bias but doesn't always. Like I assume you if you're a lesbian that you have a preference for butches/studs or femmes, or maybe you don't. For example I tend to give all guys a chance regardless of aesthetic, size and gender presentation but my whole life I've only ever been romantically interested in three guys and they were all skinny feminine punk/goth types. I imagine that's a preference that I have.

Anyway logic doesn't have much to do with sexual preference in my experience. Logically I'm a huge bottom so I should be into guys who top but that usually isn't how things work out for me. Logically I prefer the physical act of giving head to people with vaginas and I'd probably have more luck finding someone with that equipment who wants to get eaten out if I was into women but I'm woefully attracted to men and I just have to hope that a trans guy finds me on Grindr, or just eat ass. Logically, I don't want to get pregnant so it would probably be safer for me to be into people who can't do that to me, but again, woefully attracted to men. I look at a woman and I just can't muster any sexual appetite for her. Sorry.

Although to be fair my disinclination toward women does on the rare occasion apply to men. Like for example I might be convinced to KaiKai with a Trixie Mattel type or a Nina Bo'nina Brown type but you could not get me to KaiKai with F1nn5ter. I don't know why he just doesn't register to me the way that most women don't register to me.

So yeah I am giving you a fucking non answer because sexuality isn't about logic or reason. It's words we have to describe sexual attraction, which I hate to tell you this, is a vibe. It's all feelings. Feelings of sexual attraction.

You TERFs are so obsessed with white patriarchal notions of concrete reason that you never realize the very obvious answer that some things just aren't about logic or reason, they're about experiential reality. And then you wanna pretend like you're anti patriarchy.

Feelings don't care about your facts.

[royalberryriku]

Unfortunately, I am thinking again and am reminded again how heterosexual TERF women continually steal shit from lesbians and try to erase butches because they hate them so goddamn much. ESPECIALLY he/him butches and queer women and non binary dykes. Hell, even bisexual women, non binary people and he/him folks who are dykes in some way or another.

In fact, as a bisexual bigender trans man dyke, this'd be me. For real, we were here before you all decided to be offended by lesbians who dare to even use a strap because that scares you! Or call themselves men! And no not "because of safety reasons" but because we've always done it and still do it regardless. Because it's part of who some of us are. We have loved tits, pussy, straps (plastic or bio) way before you all decided to use lesbian to mean "we hate men". It's the "we fucking love women and wanna kiss women" club. It's not hard, lesbian means we kissy kissy women in a way the hettys don't like.

Because they think only gender roles abiding men can kiss gender roles abiding women and anything that's different is a sin or yucky, that's what offends them! That's why when lesbians are a femme that looks very feminine and womanly and such OR a butch that looks like a man people get pissed. That's why a woman with a beard makes people pissed. That's why a man who has breasts who kisses women makes people pissed. Because it denies all the gender roles that are defied here. It doesn't matter if a woman has a pussy or a dick, because it's already against the damn rules if she kisses girls and no one's gonna care when they call her a sinner like the rest of us.

They don't care that I'm a dude who looks cis, because I act too feminine, yet dress masculine and androgynous, and I have breasts and a pussy and like people with breast and a pussy as well to boot plus I like men and that's all against the bloody rules so I'm a freak of nature them who they want to legislate against. Hell, even in the community (esp among people who refuse to learn what older queers have lived through or anything about our history) being non binary to the point you aren't able to fit cleanly in any single clean label makes you really easy to hate. It doesn't matter that my love of women and my love of men makes me hated as a man who loves men and a woman-like person who likes women, because god forbid I call myself a dyke because my gender relates deeply to being a he/him butch. And the thing is, we've always been around since always but people get pissed when things aren't neat, tidy and easy to digest for their convenience and personal ease. When our existence is actually broad and vague, that makes people puzzled and scared, despite us all being fluid as people. It's our species whole thing to not be consistent or always the same or easy to understand. We're complex. But I digress...

There's just so much to this I could delve into but the biggest thing here is that regardless of what TERFs think, so much of it is borrowed from queers. So much is just stolen shit they rebranded and repurposed but made for hets. So much of feminism was built from queers, hell, from gay men. So much of feminism was built from lesbians and bisexuals and trans people. So much of the terms that TERFs use and the rights they have were built off our backs and now we're the fucking enemy? Lmao okay. Who do you think helped you all fight against abusive cis men? Not cis men saying you all need to join up with their anti trans groups that for sure. It was the gay men who look down on and lesbians you all call predatory and the drag queens who pushed to normalise the idea that femininity isn't just for women but men and, for you all, that it doesn't define a woman. Who stood by you all this entire time? And now we're all expendable, us queers.

And hey, we don't want you in feminist circles either since you've all proven yourselves to be sexist as hell. But I'm still pissed that so much of queer culture and our efforts have been used, borrowed, taken for granted and repeated as if it came from you all when a lot of it came from us. Like, sweetie, no. You all really think heterosexual women built feminism without us? You all think when you say "all men are gross perverts to women" you're not realising you're forgetting the gay men who aren't fucking attracted to women and have been treated like shit for being attracted to men? You think banning drag queens are some sort of thanks to all the times they've pushed against the idea that dresses must only be worn by women and pants can only be worn by men? Are you all fucking kidding me?

Everything about TERFs are borrowed and stolen, but hey, can't be surprised. It's the same for all bigots, they're never original aren't they?

[myfandomrealitea]

Harry Styles is a very good example of how a lot of you don't actually think its okay for LGBT+ people to not be neon-sign out and that men can't be feminine without absolutely having to be some form of queer.

You'll scream about how men can wear nail-polish without being gay and in the same breath you'll be pressuring a traumatised man to out himself because you think he shouldn't allowed to be feminine without confirming he's either gender-queer or sexuality-queer.

"But he's baiting people!"

He's literally just existing. He's living his life the way he wants to after he spent a decade being micro-controlled to the point that its permanently damaged his mental health, his relationship with himself and his identity and his relationship with the public as a famous person.

He doesn't owe you his sexuality. He just doesn't. Nobody, famous or otherwise, does. Not a single person in the world owes you that knowledge. Not your mother, not your dog, not your celebrity crush or the dude who serves your coffee.

Not a fucking soul.

He's just another example of how the queer community has come to make demands and shove tick-boxes at people and I physically can't express to you all how much of a backwards slide that is.

Edit: Since I received a very angry response to this, I should clarify; I mean this in context of regardless of Harry's identity. This post is not implying or stating he is queer or is not queer. The entire basis of this post is presenting the fact that the moment Harry Styles started expressing himself in a certain way, the general public and in large part the queer community immediately began accusing him of being queer and demanding a public confirmation. And that in many cases the arguments 'for' him being queer are based on how he expresses himself, which goes against the supposed support of freedom of expression and non-toxic masculinity that the queer community is supposed to have. To summarize: QC: Men can be feminine without being gay! Harry Styles: *presents himself effeminately without publicly confirming any sexuality or gender identity* QC: He's obviously gay! He's feminine! He should come out or stop dressing like that! Men in feminine clothing are baiting! He's probably trans!

Please also refer to the angry anon I received the other day for another example.

[positivityforlesbians]

Idk if anybody else has posted something like this but I guess I just need reassurance from someone like me. Sorry if its all over the place, ADHD is a bitch. I struggled with my identity for years because of no acceptance and being basically kinda put in with the men (trans specifically) and treated like it. I was butch in my baby gay days, straight out the box lmao. But with the constant thing of being told that I must want to be a boy with the way I dressed and acted and only being around girls who liked boys and gay transmen, guessed it influenced me more than I thought. Half the time I will be fine with being a lesbian, you know, its not on the mind every waking second, just a nice added detail. But then it just comes crashing back and suddenly its just, needing to be masc and masc-attracted even when the "attraction" is only to theoretical and never lasts long, and constantly being asked what I think of a male actor despite being out (again) since December. It feels like you say one man attractive or make a joke and then its gonna come back on you and if you're not constantly attracted to all women then its a fraud. Idk why my brain acts like this, even with reassurance from friends, I'm still the only lesbian and still just the odd one out. I never heard of someone going through what I did, but it helps to air out I guess, an maybe it'll reach somebody else who might need to hear it.

This is why it's important to choose to hang out more with women just like you. Masculine lesbians must find each other and it has to be separated from any trans spaces in the sense that it brings us down just the same as conservative "women must be feminine" spaces bring us down.

Nowadays it's cool to see masculine female teenagers hang out with one another at school, finding each other and creating inside jokes, being friends and feeling safe with one another, it's less cool to see the vast majority of them ending up as trans boys : there must be room for masculine girls and women. It sucks to be surrounded by straight people and gender conforming people who keep making you feel like an alien and it's why so many young butches take the road they take and make mistakes they regret later on. The most important thing to learn is you shouldn't seek validation from others. Assess as many times as possible the fact that you're a lesbian if necessary, assess your boundaries, don't be afraid to be seen as a mean man-hater if at least your point is made. Be you regardless of what others push on you and push away their norms. Xx

[max--phillips]

You can distance yourself from “weird” pussy loving lesbians all you want, but at the end of the day you’re only pushing your kin under the bus, and one day the homophobes are going to turn on you too. It’s not enough to be “one of the good non-genital fetishising gays”. If you’re homosexual they hate you too. You can dislike the icky genital fetishising lesbians, but they’re still lesbians and they’ll have your back even if you won’t have theirs. Solidarity.

I….. girl what

I’m. Okay. Let’s break this one down

1) I’m literally a lesbian. Homophobes have already “turned against me.” They’ve never been turned towards me.

2) It is a radical, usually upsetting to cishet people thing to do to be attracted to women regardless of genitals. It reinforces the fact that trans women, regardless of medical transition status, are women. Homophobes and transphobes will invalidate my sexuality all day every day because I think trans women are hot. (Believe it or not, the same thing happens to cishet men who find trans women attractive, because they’re often accused of being gay or having a fetish. This far too often leads to transphobic violence.) So no, it’s not “good enough,” because it’s actually worse than insisting trans people aren’t their gender based on genitals. It goes against the status quo, which queerphobes are determined to enforce.

(2.5: it’s okay to have genital preferences, really. You just have to communicate that to them. “Hey, I really like you and I think you’re cool, but I wanted to let you know that if this goes in that direction, I absolutely see you as a woman, but I’m really only interested in women who have a vagina. Is that going to be okay?” Worst case scenario they’ll probably say “oh, no, sorry!” and idk, maybe you’ve made a new friend.)

3) You and your fellow terfs absolutely do not have my back, and to suggest so is honestly comical. Until you accept that trans women are women, you do not have my back. Until you believe nonbinary people, which I am, are valid, you do not have my back. Until you respect everyone’s pronouns and stop making comments about how ridiculous they are, you do not have my back. Until you stop licking the boots of the cishet patriarchy by insisting gender and sex are binary and permanently whatever you were assigned at birth, you do not have my back. Do you know how many terfs have misgendered me and called me confused? Do you know how many have harassed me and people I love? Did they have my back, as you suggest?

4) You misunderstand what I want for the world. I want every person, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation, to be able to express themselves safely and free of harassment, be able to hold hands in the street without wondering if they’ll face violence, for all lesbians to feel welcome in the community regardless of agab, for all gay men to feel welcome in the community regardless of agab. I want standards for what is and isn’t masculine or feminine or beautiful or attractive or desirable to not be based on racist standards that ostracize and further oppress POC. And I want that for everyone, regardless of where they started. I’m not pushing anyone under the bus by wanting that.

Calling out transphobia also isn’t pushing anyone under the bus. You act as though it is, but really it’s just someone on the sidewalk telling you a bus is coming. You have an opportunity to get the fuck out of the way. The folks on the sidewalk might not embrace you with open arms at first, but they’ll still be glad you’re safe. But if you tell them to fuck off and stare it down, it’s your own fault when you get hit.

[gurlcrazytfa]

And, another thing...

Before the year is out, I've just got to get something off my chest. Although I've met a number of pre-op / non-op M2F trans women who are perfectly comfortable with the idea of keeping their original plumbing intact, seems there are all too many who have developed an apparent loathing for their own body parts, as well as a deep disdain for those of us physically attracted to them.

Seriously, if you find yourself lost in that dark corner, perhaps you need to stop listening to whoever (including yourself) is telling you that mutilating your genitals is, necessarily, the key to happiness and, just maybe, start loving yourself. IMHO, the whole world is, in fact, NOT against you if you wish to live life as a girl for all intents and purposes other than having X/Y chromosomes and a penis. Do yourself a big favor and get over it already. You might just be someone's dream girl just as you are.

Which brings us to the gross misperception had by a good many, including trans persons themselves, that gynesexuals (attracted to those who present / identify as women, female, or feminine regardless of biology, anatomy, or the sex assigned at birth), such as myself, are just gay men in denial whose attraction for pre-op / non-op M2F trans women is nothing more than a disingenuous perversion, and thus illegitimate among sexual orientations. WTF kind of mental complex must one have developed to hate on the very people who sincerely find them attractive!?! Hell, it's no wonder I run across so many sad stories of depressed &/or suicidal trans women. You are loved. Whether or not you can deal with isn't my problem. So, lighten up.

Anyway, Happy New Year to anyone still with me.

[mediacinemtographyartetc]

Mini rant for media; free to ignore I will add shit to this list.

I hate how western people demonize any type of asian media and throw around dangeorus or beyond racist accusations.

A anime/Chinse book or series is deemed problematic because of certain themes.

Even tho those SAME themes, genre, story telling is ALSO prevelent in Western media, this weird holiour than thou mentality of trying to control another culture without looking at themselves is beyond gross.

For example, anime characters with certain body types and most have an anerusim when we say its an art style-

Look at steven universe, pearl and rose quartz or spinel. Characters that are OLD as fuck but have child like proportions and even pearl/Rose in their fusion dance with greg was erotic. So much WLW nsfw erotica/fanart was made of these characters and yet no one calls SU P*do bait.

Cuties is on netflix, girls in tiaras, also movies that have fucked up dynamics like;

13 going on 30, in that whole movie Jennas mental age WAS 13 while she was going around acting like an adult and even engaging in adult relationships. Time travellers wife, the utter grooming of this movie- or River Song being married to the Doctor from Doctor who, how the Doctor knew AMY POND as a child then kissed her as an adult he was disgusted but the writers WROTE THAT IN. Interview with a vampire how the movie had Cluadia kiss Louiee.

I can list SO many- also how toxic Western ROM coms are-

Then claiming that anyone who watches BL is just like men watching lesbian porn and fetishzie the lgbt communtiy- which is somewhat true and a valid argument! But it keeps assuming that ALL women who like BL don't have reasons for it.

like twilight or 50 shades of grey were cult classics and majority of women were the reasons it was so popular, but most like bdsm/dark tones in a relationship but since most men and women deal with domestic abuse to the point where its not funny, a fantasy is easier to indulge than a harsh reality.

Also MOST who like BL aren't even women, their LGBT themselves! male protags are more popular than female protags their is NO lesbain/trans/ase feminine equevilant of stories out there-

Also porn is porn, regardless if its straight gay or even fucking tentacles its porn the whole point is fetishisation it's not as if we conflate that with real life- what I'm just going to go to a zoo and kidnap an octopus!? Honestyl????

Good omens we have School of good and evil- awesome! But what about star trek, sherlock, destiel, klance, sherlock watson, stiles derek, steve/tony, etc etc. Where is the rivals to lovers in a ton of genre. Giving that anime is the only thing delievering is the reason why I watch anime.

I want feminisim? I watch sailor moon, cardcaptor, inuyasha, and kakeguiri.

If I want dark stories where the women go ape shit? Elfen lied, Utena, magical madoka, and so much more.

Its the fact the western media has 13 reasons why, netlfix YOU, sin city, idk name ANY movie by Zack synder I just- it's so fucking hypocritical. Because Media like celebrities or singers and influencers are way more gross and come across as sexual predaotrs. sex has been shoved down my throat since I was a kid as every celebrity was dancing in skimpy clothes singing about sex and this was during the time when kardashion came popular because she had a sex tape!

Its just annoys me when people point figures and act like a judge jury executioner when the west is JUST as bad with gross problematic themes. ugh I'm annoyed.