#lesbian advices

[positivityforlesbians]

How would you go about making a dating profile in the closet? Do you have to include a picture? And which apps are best? And how best to have a long distance relationship?

Yes in most if not all dating apps you have to include a picture of yourself, which only makes sense. How would you feel about talking with someone for something serious and intimate and ... not knowing how they look like ? This is ground for manipulation, of course the most obvious danger is that a man could be talking to you and pretend to be a gay/bi woman. So you have to show this same transparency in your profile, which I get is difficult if you're in the closet, but you have to know if you really want to get "out there" and date or not. This highlights one of the major problems with the loss of lesbian bars nowadays, closeted lesbians (and bi women) will have a harder time having sex and dating considering there is little place for discretion.

Now, for the dating apps recommendations : I'd say Bumble comes up often if you're searching for something safer, especially since you can activate and deactivate whenever you want the visibility of your profile (which is the best option for someone who's in the closet), of course there's also Tinder if you want to see lots of profiles, and Taimi seems to be great as well. Avoid HER at all costs, the team behind it is super homophobic despite the fact that they're advertising it as one for our community (it's not, that's the biggest lie, you cannot even choose a lesbian filter, you can be shown profile of grown men with beards who wrote "she/her" in their bio for example, a frequent problem but this app doesn't see it as a problem, they gaslight lesbians and insult us, insisting men cannot manipulate their way into lesbian spaces). Also I just remembered Fruitz, a dating app where you choose one of four fruits which correspond to what you're searching for (finding The One, going for a drink and then seeing how things go depending on the person, frequent sex with the same person without attachment, a one-night stand), the concept is interesting and I've heard good things about it. As for long distance relationships ? Good communication, as always, and the reassurance that it won't be like that forever. If you're not planning to be reunited at some point then it won't work.

Gals, if you have good dating app recommendations, share these as a comment or reply, my experience is limited. Thanks !

[uncanny-tranny]

Periodic reminder that unless a person specifically and clearly tells you it is okay to tell others they are trans or queer, you should err on the side of caution and assume they do not want you to tell people (especially random people!) about their transness or queerness.

You have no idea, generally, why somebody doesn't talk openly about their trans or queer status, and you have no idea, truly, how somebody might react to that information. The most progressive person out there is still capable of harbouring incredibly negative thoughts about somebody's queer status.

[madamepestilence]

This pride month, make your queer ancestors proud and turn it back into a protest. Don't let corporations dominate pride. Protest for a Free Palestine.

Protest for the queer Russians who've had their rights stripped. Protest for a free Sudan. Protest for a multi-polar world not dependent on the US. Protest for Southern hemisphere autonomy.

Protest for a free Ukraine. Protest to reverse restrictions on trans Americans and Europeans that have taken place in the past few years.

Protest to get rid of fascism and corporate lobbying in governments. Protest for economic and government reform to the left.

Stay in groups. If you see a police kettle, turn around. If police confront you, SHUT THE FUCK UP - IF NOBODY TALKS, EVERYONE WALKS.

If you are a responsible gun owner and live in a place with concealed- or open-carry laws, keep your gun on your person (may you not need them). You are less likely to be assaulted if visibly armed.

Don't bring your phone, they may disable it and will use it to track you back to your home. Don't wear contacts, they'll trap in tear gas. You can find gas masks at Army-Navy stores.

Saline solution (lightly salted water) will burn like a motherfucker, but is much safe at clearing tear gas from your eyes than regular water or milk and prevents infection.

[that-butch-archivist]

"The New York Femmes, 1991" by Morgan Gwenwald

source: The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader, edited by Joan Nestle

[totally-sapphic-posts]

I have a crush on this woman who works in a bookshop 😫

Whenever I go in and she’s working, she always approaches me, asks how I’m doing and keeps conversation with me.

She even asks about me when someone she knows I know goes into the bookshop 😫

I want to ask her out, buuuut I don’t want to do that at her place of work, that feels creepy. But on the other hand I don’t have her number, so I can’t exactly text her 😖

I know I’m usually the advice giver, but guys… what do I do? 😭

[stayathomegirlfriends]

Hello girls, gays, and theys of Tumblr! Are you in need of two loving gay aunties to share some wise words and help you feel less alone?

We are Cam and Gabriella, a couple of girlfriends who stay at home, and we just started a podcast aptly called Stay at Home Girlfriends. It's an advice podcast and a positive queer and also female-focused (though ALL are welcome) community and we'd love you to be a part of it!

Click the links below to check out our latest episode! I think you'll be glad you did 🥰

Listen on Spotify here:

Listen on Apple here:

OR watch us on YouTube here:

And click here to check out our socials or submit an advice request!

Hope to see you on the other side and remember you yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe are deserving of your own love and compassion! 💜

[bisexuallovee]

[disappointeddyke]

Made my first appointment with the gender care clinic to start T and my sister painted my nails

[positivityforlesbians]

i’m butch and i decided to stop shaving my legs in middle school and i’m very happy with it i think it looks cool and i never want to shave again. but the thing is i have severe social anxiety i’m always so aware of what people think of me so i’m afraid 24/7 that someone’s gonna see it and think it’s gross or i’m weird so i wear long pants all the time and worry about it whenever i have to wear gym shorts. i wish i could get over this and be proud of my decision so do you have any advice?

So many girls/women stopped shaving their legs as we grew more confident with ourselves and wanted to free ourselves from social expectations, it's something hard enough to do when this shit is pushed on us so strongly so you should be proud of yourself. The possible negative opinion of others do not matter, it's your body and you can let it grow the hair you naturally grow on your body without giving importance to any hater.

My advice as a lesbian who hasn't shaved my legs in a few years at this point is to think of the role model and inspiration you can be for younger girls/women. Instead of our mothers telling us when we were teens to shave our body hair because it's somehow disgusting imagine if we had a wide variety of women around us, on television, everywhere, who would be unapologetic about their body hair. It's important to normalise what should already be seen as normal, a non-act (as we're not doing anything but rather letting this process happens naturally) that is accepted for men but not women. Think of the double standard and let it fuel your courage, get in touch with feminist writings and generally women who decided to stop shaving their legs as well, realise the gift you are offering to other girls/women who might get to know and finally understand that they don't have to follow the tips in beauty ads targetting women. Xx

[janiebladeblog]

Wanna have a quickie before brunch?

[fairy-switchblade]

✅ GOOD reasons why a stone butch might want to transition out of being stone:

having reached a point in personal healing where this feels like the next productive step. Healing very often does not mean leaving stone behind, but for some it can. It’s an extremely personal decision, based on the specifics of the individuals unique circumstances and goals.

having confidence that transitioning out is the right thing for them, and reaching a point where they have the resources and support in place to go about it safely

being stone feels limiting instead of empowering.

Identifying as stone feels like something that you just ‘have to put up with,’ that doesn’t truly reflect how you want to live but was forced on you by life. Feeling that being stone isn’t up to you, and if you could wave a magic wand and make it different, you definitely would.

because being stone is something you learnt to associate with being butch, and you’ve come to feel that it isn’t what you want, but you’re afraid that if you’re not stone then you’re not ‘butch enough’ (you are.)

most important: Because you want to, not anyone else. Thats it tbh.

❌ NOT good reasons for butches to transition out of being stone:

Because your partner has said they’ll leave you if you wont. (The curb. They belong on the curb.)

Because other people in your LGBT community think it’s weird, offensive, odd, etc. (Get better friends.)

Because you know you ultimately want to transition out, but you’re not ready. Ie: You’re rushing yourself into it.

Because you’ve been told abandoning stone is linear to healing (it’s not, and that is a deeply harmful misconception)

Because you’ve been told that you can’t be stone and feel happy and fulfilled. Utter nonsense.

[randomtheidiot]

Advice my mother gave me.

If someone asks for sex and you don’t want to fuck them, just say “no”. Don’t give them any sort of reason or excuse. I know it’s tempting to let them down easy by saying “I have plans” or “I’m not in the mood for sex” or “I’m not emotionally available right now”, but they will break down every excuse you give. Don’t bother with the polite, well meaning excuses and just tell them no without telling them why. They shouldn’t be asking why.

[sapphicslvtt]

what did it taste like when you ate 🐱? I only ask as i'm a virgin but i really want to go down on a girl and make her feel good

honestly i didn’t focus on the taste a whole lot! it tasted sweet and good and usually a girl will taste different before and after she’s cum, so keep that in mind. as long as she’s hygienic you should be fine taste wise.

my best advice to make a girl feel good is to take your time! too many people rush foreplay when, arguably, it’s the most important part. you need time to feel with your partner and tease them, working them up so when you do fuck then it’ll feel really good. you need them to become aroused before you go in.

when you do start eating her out, focus on her clit but also focus on other elements such as biting her thighs or gently biting her inner lips. ask her if she minds if you finger her at the same time - if she doesn’t then add fingers!! it makes it soo much better. see what makes her wetter and makes her moan the most and there you have it!

[stqrgirl3]

PLZ READ GUYS IT RLLY LONG I KNOW BUT ITS RLLY NICE I SWEAR ITS ABT MY CRUSH PPELASE <3333 and give advice bbgs please <3

OKAY SO SO WE HAVE A SCHOOL FEST COMING UP AND MY CRUSH AND I WERE DOING STUFF IN THE DECOR TEAM LIKE MAKINF ANF PAINTING POSTERS AND ALL (it was alot of fun!!!) ADN AND THERE WERE LIKE FIVE? PEOPLE WORKING ON ONE POSTER AND MY CRUSH AND I WERE ON THAT POSTER (FICE INCLUDING US) ASJDJDF SO WE HAD TO KEEP ROTATIONG DEPENEDNING ON WHAT PART OF THE POSTER WAS THE PERSON WORKING ON AND THEN ONE TIME WHEN SHE AND I WERE TOGETHER LIKE ON THE SAME SIDE SHE HAD WHITE PAINT ON HER BRUSH AND SHE PUT SOME ON MY CHEEK AND THEN SHE WAS HOLDING MY FACE AND SHE MADE A LITTLE WHITE HEART ON MY CHEEK ASKJDKFHJ IM FUCKING SCREAMING AND THEN I MADE AN ORANGE FLOWER ON HER HAND :(( LOOK ME IN THE FUCKING EYES AND TELL ME THAT ISNT ONE OF THE GAYEST THINGS EVER WTF LIKE TELL ME SHE DOESNT FUCKING LIKE ME??????

AND THEN LATER ON ONE POSTER THAT OUR JUNIORS WERE DOING NEEDED HAND PRINTS AND SO THE TWO OF US (crush and me) WENT TO THEM FOR THE HAND PRINTING AND THEY COLORURED HER HAND BLUE AND MINE PINK AND IT WAS SO SIMILAR TO THE TV GIRL ALBUM WHO REALLY CARES AND WE BOTH WERE LIKE "OMG TV GIRL REF!!!!!" LKSJDLKJADFH AND ASNDANSDJN FUCKDKJFKK HSES SOOSOSOOS COOL I RLEALLT LIKE HER SOMUCH!!! OK AND THEN WE HIGH FIVED AFTER THE HAND PRINTING AND THEN SHE HELD MY HAND AND THEN I HAD SOME BLUE ON MY HAND AND SHE HAD SOME PINK ON HERS AND IT WAS LIKE TOTALLY TV GIRL AND SHE HELD MY HAND FOR A BIT AND I GOT UP COZ I WAS SITTING DOWN ANDSJFJK I FUCK

AND THEN LATER ON SHE WASHED HER HAND BEFORE I COULD GET A PICTURE </3 AND THEN I WAS LIKE "NOOOO YOU WASHED UR HAND??? I DINDT GET TO TAKE A PICTURE" AND SHE WAS LIIE YEAH :( AND THEN THEN I HIGH FIVED HER AGAIN AND THEN LIKE HELF HER HAND AND STUFF AND SHE GOT SOME COLOR ON HER HAND AND THEN WE GOT A PICTURE :>>

AKSJDKDFHH PLEASE SOME1 TELL ME WHAT ALL OF THIS MEANS??? BECUASE FIRST SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT WANT ANYTHING ROMANTIC AND THEN SHE DOES ROMANTIC STUFF IM LOSING MY MIND SKJFKJF