#regardless. ITS 4 AM!!! i hope everyone likes this but i am GOING TO SLEEP!! gn lmao

[mothmanriley]

so i stop flooding the fucking. backup.

uhHh yea anyways !!!! shit sucks and I can't really talk to my partners about it because they're just sort of. not well-versed in trauma and I'm gonna be real here mine is extensive (I have recently had an increase in a certain amount of intrusive thoughts triggered by a weird line from my belly down, and if it is similar to the ones I've had before, it could be pointing to the source of my hemophobia), I know how I sound so I try not to go too deep into detail when I talk about the Bad Times.

in addition, a lot of moments I associated with supernatural phenomena I've come to realize was just . me, as a kid, having flashbacks. sucks that I've been having them since 4.

you know it's actually weird I distinctly remember coming into consciousness on my fourth birthday. I can't remember the date but I remember waking up in that double bunk bed that only I slept in. my sheets were pink and blue and I was so, so excited because I remember it was the Day I Got To Be Alive! the world was so fucking vivid and bright and it was all hope and childish glee. everything before that is like. gone.

but I was always scared, you know?? I had a few things that terrified me - reflections, small, red lights (which I eventually realized reminded me of a camera. which. uh. rough implications), sleeping alone - I would see shadows twist and hear whispers in the walls.

I never felt safe when I was a kid, not really. there was always that underlying tension, a background radiation that had seeped into the fibres of me; I could ignore it, I could act out, it didn't matter. people noticed, of course - it oozes from me still. part of me wanted (wants - hence why this blog is public) to acknowledge it, but no one ever did, and despite the severity of our current state, it's unlikely our partners will until we are professionally diagnosed (a process i am looking to undergo regardless; however, it will take months of saving up, and I Don't Know If I Can Do Months).

part of me is extremely grateful for the peace the 'weird little sad person' persona has gotten us, despite the reducing our collective anger and grief to 'just kinda sad for no reason'. it just .. makes it hard to talk about the depth of it all.

like. c didn't 'trick' me into thinking I had this. i've always known there were others. my entire life has been shrouded in this haze and I know its fucking name now. I've reached the point where I can't deny its effects on me, its presence. a forbidden truth, locked in some deep fucking part of me - and it's so fucking frustrating because no one in my day-to-day seems to give a fuck even when it's visibly fucking with me.

(there was one time our friend was making magic cards out of everyone in the house. when he showed me mine, it had "if you have lost four or more life this turn, put a counter on Joey. sacrifice 5 counters: transform this creature." the transformed creature was a eldritch energy thing, and it had the same effect in reverse: gain four or more life, etc. it was a silly joke, and maybe a lil insensitive, but the fact that two of my alters were acknowledged in a lighthearted way that wasn't inherently invalidating .. it was really really nice.)

so I just do what I always do - isolate, stay up, spiral, lament and just generally divorce myself from the idea of ever being fully loved (dissociation included); hope that I'm able to scrap together some form of intimacy from people who very clearly do not love me as they love each other (which is fair, and something i thought i would be able to grapple with - and maybe, if I weren't living with them, but as it stands--). which is ungrateful of me, because they've shown me a kindness I didn't know was possible. I just wish like ... I don't fucking know. I'd like for them to stay up with me once. one of them used to, and it made things easier a lot of the time, but our girlfriend didn't like it so much so now he pretty much always goes to bed with her.

it's like ... little things like that? they do things for each other that I crave but I don't think I've ever really had. not long-term.

and im supposed to somehow wake up without any of these things floating through my head and triggering a spiral so I'm not as much as a burden to them.

[apexart-journal]

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 2

My sleep still has not adjusted and I woke up about 4:00am. Regardless, I'm surprisingly enjoying the extra hours I have to myself to prepare for the day ahead. I hope I can maintain a routine like this even after the Fellowship.

Walking out the subway onto Canal street in China Town, I was greeted with so many tall buildings decorated with colourful Graffiti, billboards and signage written in Chinese. It took a moment to take it all in, because this was unlike any Chinatown I’ve ever been to.

I made my way to MOCA and found it closed, which I was initially confused about until I saw a paper stuck on the window showing me opening times. They don't open in the morning up to the public until early afternoon. Luckily I stayed put for a couple more minutes because one of the people who worked inside opened the door and upon explaining why I was there, she let me in under the condition that I'm fine with being surrounded by Middle schoolers who were visiting for a school trip.

MOCA made me feel a bit emotional. I think because of how 'Black and White' I perceived America to be, I did not really account for the other minority workers who also contributed to building America. Against all adversity, as human nature will have it, we adapt and we survive. Here is a snippet of writing from 1840's that I saw: "Last sight of the village. Looking back, I feel my heart cut in two. I am one. I am many. On a watery path, from home to a new world. Why? To send money back. To fight my family's hunger. To make them proud. The Empress does not care for the people. The foreign Ghosts drain our wealth and power. They won't leave. So, I must. Disappearing into the clouds: What is our fate?".

I am so moved by this because of its critical worldly relevance even to this day.

The next stop on my calendar was The Bronx Library to attend an Intro to proposal writing. When I saw that, I expected writing related to creative writing. I wanted to get there as early as possible. Aboard the train, as I moved north, I saw the landscape change from tall high-rise buildings to more residential flats & infrastructure. A lot of them were not as well maintained as Manhattan, which makes me wonder how service delivery is carried out and who constantly benefits from it? Why? I’ve heard a bit about “the Bronx” being a more lower income area. It makes me think of "The dangers of a single story" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

Caught off guard, the Proposal writing was on how to write up a proposal when apply for a grant for your business. I wonder how many American Business owners go through this process. Someone who was also attending told me that she needed a grant to help her business of taking care of the local elderly people who have been "forgotten" and mistreated, by providing basic healthcare checkups and food. She reasoned that she's also going to get old one day and would like someone with proper infrastructure to also take care of her. Simply, this is Ubuntu.

On my way back home, I decided to make a stop at Grand Central Station. The architecture blew my mind. Along with everyone in the station I felt like an ant - on a mission and moving fast. A random question occurred to me "How much of the floor erodes over time because of all the foot traffic?"

From there, I walked all the way to the apartment.

[phoenix-knight]

reflection

TW: depression, anxiety, bpd, suicidal thoughts, self-harm.

the last time i went to therapy we did an exercise which shook my mind a little. she asked me the reasons why i chose law as my major for uni, and i told her i had a talent for debating, writing, storytelling and languages. as far as she could see these were all things that i loved and hoped to use in a profession which is a good match to those skillsets, what happened? why was it causing me so much confusion and upset?

i realized that the reasons i thought law was a good match for my skillset do not exist anymore, or rather i never got to start. not that its too late now but there are only 2 years left in my 5 year degree, which will be hectic af. 2020 COVID hit its peak, my college life started on Microsoft Teams and logging in just to sleep through the classes. the downward spiral which began in 11th grade culminated in crippling depression and anxiety in the 12th grade when i was about to make the change to uni.

i felt nothing, and the numbness scared me more than feeling all the highs and lows. 2 years...i scraped through them and did the bare minimum, pacifying the 'gifted kid' expectations of myself inside me, telling myself that i had to focus on doing what i had to do to survive even if that meant being ok with passing an exam, not topping it. the bland poorly made hostel food did not help, and the constant depressive episodes had me awake till 4 AM then asleep till the afternoon. i'd stare at the ceiling for hours after i woke, not getting up unless i had to go to the washroom. i only ate when the hunger made my stomach ache and i could not have my meds without eating first. i forgot to eat half the time. i was alone in a different city and i did not have my best friend physically with me.

in my desperation, i clung to the only hands i could find when i searched the dark, that is those of my now former friends. i came out of the social distancing and quarantine so starved for human connection that i trusted the wrong people with my vulnerable self. obviously i wasn't damn well thinking straight, if i was then i would not have trusted people who have known me for less than 6 months with my whole medical history. but i had no choice because the emergencies happened every other day, i attempted every time i was alone and the intrusive thoughts got too overwhelming. i had to msg them crying that someone had to drag me away from there or i was about to throw myself off the building. looking back i was so grateful to have friends at all, people who tolerated and acknowledged my presence, because i could barely tolerate myself.

i wanted to erase myself and the life which gave me pain as i breathed. i felt like a disgusting waste of space, a burden to everyone i touched. i never realized it was the least bare fucking minimum, to help when needed and care when hurt. i did not even tell them shit unless it came to violent panic attacks, anxiety attacks or just frozen stupor of me unable to breathe, move or think. was it ever a burden at all? was i just too starved of love to see that what i thought was unimaginable generosity was just the bare fucking minimum? they were peers who were just as fucked up as i am if not more, who had not even properly known me for more than 6 months, and i still apologized for everything they said i did to hurt them regardless of whether it was my fault or not.

i felt horrendously guilty, and suffered through weeks of anxiety and random panic attacks because i felt their loss. i gaslit myself saying, everything is fine, they're not leaving, you're just being paranoid and anxious until everything blew up in my face at the end of 2nd year. i was forced to move back in with my parents and commute the 2 hours to uni everyday as a day scholar although it exhausted the fuck outta me. the whole of 3rd year was spent just dragging my ass outta bed and managing my attendance because of all the backlogs i already had. getting on my own two feet took everything i had, and ironically my mental stability came when i distanced myself from everything and everyone i thought was my support in uni. i had so much shit to do and so much to catch up with, i threw myself into it and hit the ground running. i was finally able to complete all existing and pending exams at the end of 3rd years with months of breaking my back, working my ass off to break that vicious cycle of despair.

thats why i don't blame myself for what happened or what i had to do to survive...because i was there and i know how bad it was, how much worse it got and where that lead me. i did what i had to do to survive. i did not deserve to be ganged up on, and read my list of sins like i had sold their kidneys for a laptop. i did not deserve being told that i was a liar, a manipulator and a person who had taken advantage of them by using my mental illnesses as an excuse. after that fiasco, i asked around to convince myself i was not hallucinating my feelings, and turns out my gut feeling was right. it took a lot of reflection to make myself see that this was not how friendship or even human connections work. the people i loved most, my best friends at home, had never resorted to the type of shit i was subjected to. we always managed to calmly talk it out and work together to strengthen the relationship, instead of being ambushed like i was that time. the communication was not non-existent or so poor that everything was taken out of context and misunderstood.

i chose to stop talking to them, and for the first time in a long time, peace was there when i finally learned to prioritize doing what needed to be done for my own mental health. right now, although nothing went the way i thought it would 4 years ago, i am back to square one. i will probably have to rethink what i wanna do with this damn degree and the career i may choose since i lost all these years to mental illness. for the first time since forever, i am truly breathing. i have the conviction to say i survived through the worst of it despite everything. i am able to like being myself sometimes. and my 17 year old self would be proud of who i have become while enduring everything that life threw at me.

your anger, your depression, your anxiety, your truths, your tears, your lies, your despair, your hatred, your desire, your longing and your love...they are all trying to tell you something you might not be ready to hear and accept. so...listen, and believe that voice.

never blame yourself for the what you had to do and the person you had to be to survive the darkness.

[jackienautism]

HI fe3h anon from earlier. i started playing at like 9 and stopped at 4. did not realize how early it was until i turned the game off because i was at a good stopping point lmao. anyway!

made it to chapter 4 of the first... idk what it's called? section? i chose the black eagles (it was a sort of tough decision, because . off the bat i REALLY liked both edelgard and claude, but i liked the eagles a lot more on average which was the deciding factor). having fun so far! i was expecting to not lovee the actual like. battle mechanics but nope i was totally sucked in. really good gameplay.

as for characters. well. like i said, off the bat i really liked edelgard and claude. honestly as of right now i don't think there's a single eagle i dislike those are all my besties. if i had to pick three (non edelgard, bc she is hands down my favorite so far) characters who were my favorite eagles... right now, probably dorothea, bernadetta, and maybe caspar? but it's genuinely so hard to pick, i like them all.

as for non-eagles, i haven't gotten the chance to know them quite as well yet, so there's more a list of characters i'm interested in learning more about? top of that list is probably ingrid, marianne and hilda. OH and of the like... non-students, i've barely met her but i loveee shamir's voice and design.

genuinely i barely know anything about fire emblem somehow so. i am excited to see how the story plays out!

HIII OH MAN A FULL 7 HOURS OF PLAYING HUH? I TOTALLY WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING WHEN I FIRST STARTED PLAYING. remember to take care of yourself and get some sleep though! but i totally understand the feeling of getting sucked in fdgjdnjg the game does such a great job of doing that! BUT THE OTHER PARTOF ME WANTS YOU TO KEEP GOOOOING... IM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU HEHE

YAAAAY SO HAPPY YOU CHOSE THE BLACK EAGLES KDFNGFD i will warn you rn though based on the writing of edie's route compared to everyone else's..... it's so obvious that teaming up w/ her was thrown in at the VERY last second. i won't say anything just yet but im sure you'll understand what i mean if you play the other routes. and who knows maybe you'll figure it out also just by playing hers? but anyway, no spoilers! but as a heads up edie's route is 4 chapters LESS than the three other stories :/ and there's no like... real resolution to her arc / story? SO much can be accomplished in 4 chapters and they jsut.... man idk, the stopping point was terrible. bc based on edelgard and motivations? her story wasn't yet done.

BUT ANYWAY. ENOUGH OF THAT. SO HAPPY YOU CHOSE THEM AS A FIRST ROUUUTE.... and claude is such a good second choice.. his def would've also been a great starting route. although it's pretty obvious how the blue lions was meant to be the "meat" of the game yk? you find out soooo much more abt *certain* characters and just. yeah. it's sad. but! edelgards route still holds a special place in my heart, regardless of the quality, and i hope it does for ypou too! also super glad to hear that the battling mechanics hooked you in! theyve improved the gameplay from previous games (esp w/ the inclusion of divine pulse. having that is sooo nice i will say) so im happy it works well for new players!!!

EDIE AND CLAUDE ARE SUCH GOOD CHOICES<3 AND THE BLACK EAGLES TOO<33 dorothea bernie and caspar are such good choices too btw.... glad you weren't annoyed by bernie at first bc my brother really was gkdfnjg CASPAR IS MY BOY.... IF YOU ENJOY THEM NOW YOU'RE TOOOOOTALLY GOING TO ENJOY THEM AS THE GAME PROGRESSES AND AS A EVERYONE GETS MORE DEPRESSED!

its not the same as playingthe route as the house those characters are in, but you'll get to learn more abt them through talking w/ them in th emonastery! i also def recommend like. recruiting the characters you wanna learn more about asap and going throuhg their supports w/ other characters if possible.... i also just HIGHLY recommend recruiting your non black eagles faves. bc uhhh things certainly happen later in the game. but yeah<3 those non eagles chocies are very good.... ingrid is. an interesting case. bc i understand why ppl hate her but i also went throuhg the supports that made ppl hate her and lik e? i understand why she thinks the way she does? and she actually becomes... self aware in her B support w/ him? but still. you;ll understand once you play the blue lions route im sure. but yeah i jus tcant help but have a soft spot for her idk. i just think shes neat and i love projecting onto her for certain things lol.... also lorenz is along the same lines as her in relation to claude and yet hes barely shat on? like HMMM I WONDER WHY :/ ANYWAY. MARIANNE IS SUCH A FAVE AND HILDA IS CERTAINLY FUN. THEIR DUO IS SO INTERESTING AND CUTE TO ME

AND SHAMIR MAN??????? I HAVENT TALKED ABT HER YET BUT SHE WAS OONE OF THE REASONS WHY I GOT THE GAME IN THE FIRS TPLCE KFGNDGF ASIDE FROM EDELGARD.... YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SAD I WAS THAT I COULDNT MARRY HER..... also fun fact allegra clark voices both dorothea and shamir!!!!

OOOHHHOHOH IF YOU DONT KNOW MUCH ABT FIRE EMBLEM THEN THATS SO AWESOME. YOURE DEF IN FOR A TREAT IM SO EXCITED FOR YOUUUUU. try to avoid spoilers as best you can! the games have been out for a while so i doubt ppl are tagging them anymore... ill try to be conscious abt that when posting though! HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO HAVE FUUUUUN

[lunar-lair]

Ooo I’m always a sucker for soul eater au’s, even if they aren’t that common. tell us more abt Ingo’s no good v bad day?

VERRRRY EVIL LAUGHTER OHOHO..YOU WISH TO HEAR OF IT?! then i will gladly inform you omg <3 glad youre enjoying this madness lmao (throws formal writing at the floor and it shatters. this ones go crazy go stupid super-specific stuff im going feral. also its 3 am and i do what i want)

technically its. ingos no good very bad day(s) bc it happens TWICE bc ingo is Silly and has Trauma from Bullies!!!!

tldr: elesa scrapes emmet against ingo The Wrong Way, ingo gets Fucked Up, he doesnt tell her, she does it AGAIN before he heals properly, emmet says FUCK this and tells her, she cries a lot abt it, ingo feels bad but is glad it wont be happening again, and then later on ingo n emmet teach elesa how to do it The Right Way

too long read it anyways: beneath this read more!! This Is Gonna Get Long (by the way, warning up ahead! ingos side literally gets Shredded so a minor gore warning? its described vaguely but theres some creepy skin stuff)

later ill be copy pasting a Written Out section from my doc that i couldnt do justice to again but for now ill pull from my brain instead

the beginning of all of this happens when the trio are surrounded by madmen that are too powerful for them to subdue. theyre out of options, and emmet and ingo start thinkin'

back when they lived in aniville (did i mention they still come from aniville? and still like trains? anyways ive mentioned it now), they were often accosted by bullies. they were twins who were Autistic, in a Tiny Town, and then inevitably, known to be weapons as well. this brought them a Lot of negative attention (a lot of which ingo tried to keep emmet safe from). when they were surrounded, theyd scrape a rock against the other (or emmet against a rock more like, in his case) and like. yknow OW thats an AWFUL fucking sound Goodbye

at the time, they thought it would be simple for elesa to figure out. that she could scrape the two of them together, and do it right, and not hurt them.

they were 14, and they forgot elesa didnt know emmets blade like it was her own, or ingos blade like it was her own.

(she didnt even have a blade.)

so they tell her about it, and tell her to scrape emmet against ingo.

but shes panicking, and the easiest way to scrape emmet against ingo is back to side.

emmets back is sharp.

the noise is very, very loud. loud enough for them to escape. louder than it should be, emmet thinks.

his back hurts.

when he tries to reach out to ingos soul, he gets nothing.

nothing but a hiss of pain.

oh.

when emmet transforms but simply asks for ingo, and emmet says ingos simply tired when elesa asks, she doesnt think much of it. (only 14, new to this, doesnt know that staying in weapon form takes more energy than getting out of it.)

when ingo doesnt show for a while, and emmet says ingos just tired, elesa tries not to think much of it.

emmet is seething.

on the way home, he told ingo to tell her.

he hadnt transformed back. emmet couldnt carry him otherwise.

ingo refused. refused despite the roughness of his blade, refused despite the chips taken out of his metal.

two days later, when ingo had finally woken up again, emmet pleaded with him, asked him why he didnt want to tell her.

because she might get rid of us, he said simply. and his voice was quiet, and it wasnt right. because it saved us. because it was necessary.

over and over. every excuse.

he didnt want to give her any reason to throw them away.

they were already twin weapons, already a bit too mad.

he had taken the brunt of all the bullying, over the years, for emmets sake, but it had taken its toll.

he believed in emmets worth, wholeheartedly. he believed they were strong together.

he thought, just a little, that he was the weak link.

months later, once ingo had almost healed, once elesa had forgotten about the moment entirely, they were sent with drayden as their leader along with some other teams their age to group-tackle a mission to subdue a good lot of madmen, as a learning experience.

they got separated from their group. elesa grew desperate.

she stood behind her cover, and straightened up, and held ingo a little flatter.

emmet shouted, tried to stop her-

she scraped emmet against ingo, and the sound resonated back in her soul.

is that pain?

ingo cried out, and emmet shouted, and elesa was silently terrified as she ran.

what did she just do?

and now. presenting,,the section ive copy-pasted from my doc bc im not rewriting this its already decent

(uhhh. ok including some stuff mentioned above bc its good writingtm and if im copy pasting you all should see it. and maybe doctored to be better idk well see this post is hella more freeform than the others)

of course, elesa did not mean to hurt them.

of course, she still made the mistake of scraping them incorrectly.

of course, ingo is afraid to make her feel bad for it.

and of course, emmet does not give a single shit. (well, he gives enough to not mention it the first time, because ingo is hurt, and hes a little too worried to be angry at anyone.)

(besides, having your back scraped against anything doesnt feel the best either…especially when it means your blade is being dulled.)

what this all results in is emmets back being sore,

and ingos side being ripped to shreds.

it turns out raw, like a layer of skin or two has been ripped away, and a few spots where there are full chunks taken out of his side.

this reflects in a rougher surface on his blade, and few shreds of metal being torn out.

the roughness heals with time, as does the rawness on his side.

the chunks heal with time, as well, though scars are left behind.

the chunks taken out of the blade never go away. (because ingo never forgets. because ingo is admittedly terrified of the thought. because ingo hates that his brother hurt him, that elesa hurt him, that he couldnt tell her at first for fear of being blown off, or hated.

because the scars stay.)

so in the end, they dont mention it.

and in the end, a good 4 months later, once ingos wounds have healed (for the most part) and theyre in a similar situation, elesa goes to do the same thing.

emmet tries to stop her. ingo grits his teeth.

ingo cries out in pain, this time, and emmet cries out in turn, and elesa is alarmed, but still moves to get out of the area before enemies they cant handle find out they can handle them.

the moment theyve made their way to a far away forest, where the madmen (who barely have a mind of their own) surely cant find them, emmet is transforming back, and carefully snatching ingo out of her hands.

he carefully avoids the blade, instead working at her fingers to make her drop it so he can hold the hilt instead.

she stares blankly as emmet holds ingo close to himself, baring the edge elesa scraped emmet against. after a moment, his gaze turns a little darker, and he hides ingo beneath his coat.

Elesa opens and closes her mouth a few times. She's hurt him, she doesn't know how, but…"Is…is Ingo al-"

"No!" Emmet interrupts, voice louder than she'd ever heard it, frown baring teeth and gaze hard as stone. His voice was still monotone, but only almost. Anger leaked in, somehow, in a way she'd never heard.

She steps back, just a little.

"I…did I do something…?" She asks, voice weak, faltering under Emmet's stony gaze.

Emmet stares back, and she hears, faintly, Ingo pleading for Emmet not to yell at her, that she didn't mean to.

"You should not even be talking," he says quietly, and Ingo stops.

"...Emmet?" Elesa says again.

He takes a shaky breath in, and looks her in the eyes.

"What do you think happens when you scrape the sharp part of a blade against the blunt part of another?"

Her eyes widen.

Ingo…he'd screamed, earlier, hadn't he? And Emmet had yelled, too-

"I…" There's nothing she can really say. She reaches forward, just a little, and takes her hand back when Emmet steps backwards in response. "I…I'm so sorry…" She finally said, voice soft, eyes filled with tears. "I had no idea…"

Emmet paused.

Elesa finally started crying, drawing back, looking away.

She hated to cry in front of others. She'd told them that much, by now.

And much, much more.

She could be trusted, he thought.

Ingo muttered the same, still hurting, but conscious nonetheless.

"Can I…" Elesa started, pausing to sniffle. "Can I at least see what I've done?"

Emmet carefully pulled Ingo out from beneath his coat, holding out Ingo's injured side.

She sobbed.

Chunks of metal, taken out. A rougher surface, visible even to the untrained eye.

"Did this happen…"

Emmet nodded, frown softer now, but still a little angry. "Ingo forced me not to tell you." He paused. "I…I am not truly mad."

And she turned up to him, and blinked.

"It is not truly your fault. You did not know. I…I am mad you did not notice him hurting. And I am mad Ingo did not let me tell you." He pulled Ingo closer to him again. "Just please, do not do it again."

She nodded, over and over, falling to the ground.

Emmet kneeled to the ground with her.

Ingo muttered that he would be alright between them, voice quiet.

After a long while, Elesa crying and apologizing, Ingo asking her not to, Emmet simply sitting there, she looked up at Emmet.

"Are you alright?"

He smiled, but it was small. "My back is a little sore. Ingo is hurt far more."

She looked down to where Ingo had been set on the grass, injured edge face up. "Why is he still…?"

"He would be much harder to carry," Emmet said simply. "And he cannot walk. We learned that the hard way last time."

She turned away, and said quietly, "I can't believe I did that to you two twice. Without even noticing."

'It is alright,' Ingo spoke, quieter than he ever had been or ever would be. 'I am the one who chose not to tell you.'

"...can I hold him?" Elesa asked, knowing Emmet would care far more than Ingo would.

Emmet nodded, and Elesa carefully held him by the hilt, a hand supporting his uninjured side.

"I am so sorry," she said softly, yet again.

'You have promised not to do it again,' Ingo said softly, reaching out to her soul just a little, 'and that is enough for me.'

She laughed, a little broken. "I doubt it's enough for Emmet."

She looked up to him.

He looked away.

"I…I am still very angry."

"I used you to hurt him," she said simply. "I would be, too."

And he looked back.

"But you did not mean to. And Ingo kept it from you. And he is alright."

He set a hand on Elesa's, the one holding Ingo's hilt.

"I am still very angry," he said again, and his voice was still monotone, and his eyebrows were still furrowed, but his eyes were soft, and his frown was more worried than anything else. "But not expressly at you. You are forgiven. As long as you do not do it again."

She nodded, and kept nodding, and laughed, relieved. "Ok. Ok."

Soon enough, the team they'd been separated from (and who had heard the noise, scraping and loud but wrong, the weapons of them hearing the scream from another soul like theirs) found them, and soon enough, Elesa was forced forward to explain, having already given Ingo to Emmet to keep safe.

Emmet walked forward, showing the damage, as well as the remains of the last time showing through.

Their honorary uncle, teacher of the school, and demanded leader of the mission (he wasn't letting his boys go out there on their own if there were others going, too), Drayden, gave a gasp. "Are the wounds from that time also…?"

Elesa nodded, head tilted down, eyes hidden behind her hat.

Her hiccups were still audible.

"Elesa did not know," Emmet defended.

They all turned to him, including Elesa.

"I wanted to tell her, of course. But Ingo thought she'd think us weak."

'It saved us,' Ingo added, voice weak. 'If it was necessary…'

"You would do anything if it was necessary," Emmet snapped.

Ingo quieted.

"...sorry," Emmet muttered.

'I know.'

"I didn't know," Elesa said. "But I should've noticed he was hurt regardless."

Emmet and Drayden gave a laugh.

When she turned, the latter gave another chuckle. "That boy could hide a broken arm if he wanted to."

Her eyes widened when Emmet laughed again.

"He has."

Drayden spluttered a little at that one; everyone got a good laugh, at the least.

"She has promised not to do it again," Emmet added. "It is water under the bridge."

She gave a weak laugh. "Then why'd you make me explain?"

"Because you did it," Emmet said, smile a little cold, eyes closed. "And I am still a little angry at you and Ingo."

After a moment, Drayden held a hand out. "May I hold him?"

Emmet relinquished Ingo easily to the man.

Drayden held him just as carefully, one hand on the hilt and one under the unharmed side.

The other kids (this was supposed to be rather easy, but they all ended up retreating and leaving it to stronger teams) started whispering around them.

One said something like 'what a weak weapon'.

Elesa and Emmet turned to stare coldly.

Drayden frowned, disappointed.

She shied away.

Another muttered 'won't staying like that hurt him?' and Emmet flinched.

Drayden gave a sigh. "Ana has a point." A weapon himself, one who wielded himself without a meister, knew this well.

Emmet's hand flew to his mouth. "I…it's so easy for us these days, I almost forgot…"

Elesa turned to Drayden. "Is staying in his weapon form hurting him?"

Drayden hummed, worried and deep in his chest. "It's expending a lot of energy and focus…and probably isn't the best for his wound."

'...it will bleed if I transform…' Ingo said. His voice was shaky.

Emmet made a pained noise in the back of his throat.

"I'll be here to carry you," Drayden said, voice gentle, but sure.

After a long moment, Ingo transformed.

And once the light faded, he laid in Drayden's arms, already unconscious.

Emmet walked forward, and picked up Ingo's hand, dangling over the side of Drayden's hold. "He wasn't allowing himself to pass out so he wouldn't transform."

Drayden nodded.

Everyone went quiet. Elesa walked forward and put a reassuring hand on Emmet's shoulder.

Drayden finally turned, Emmet and Elesa turning with him. "We should get back to the school. He can be treated there."

Emmet never let go of Ingo's hand, and Elesa never let go of Emmet's shoulder.

Drayden made sure his hold was firm, that he carefully avoided touching Ingo's right side (luckily the one that was facing away from Drayden, since he was holding Ingo's uninjured side in the first place).

The school nurse was able to learn what had happened this time, Elesa accompanying Emmet and Ingo as well.

She got a bit of a chewing out-'be careful with the blades of your weapons, even when it comes to each other'-but it was more about being careful than being truly bad to her weapons.

Emmet kept insisting she didn't know.

Drayden affirmed it, having come with.

The nurse dropped it rather quickly, but still made sure Elesa knew to be careful.

Once she was gone, and it was just Drayden, Elesa, and Emmet, Elesa stared, with hollow eyes, at Ingo's unconscious form.

And she asked again, "How didn't I notice?"

Emmet gave a quiet laugh. "We are verrrry good at lying when we need to."

Ingo hadn't woken up by the time they left. (Emmet stayed, the nurse having given up trying to drive either of them away at this rate.)

After a 30 minute wait the next day, though, Ingo opened his eyes.

Elesa apologized, over and over and over, and Ingo simply smiled, tiny but real.

"It's not your fault," he said, again and again. "I kept it from you. You are an excellent meister. I could never blame you."

Years later, after a few too many run ins with situations where it would save them a lot of trouble, and with the knowledge that it could be done right, Ingo convinced Emmet to have them teach Elesa how to do it right.

Luckily, Drayden had gifted them replicas of their weapon form for their most recent birthday, on the grounds of 'never forgetting who they were'.

(The chips in Ingo's sword were built in, perfect replicas that they were.

He laughed when he first saw it.

They were like prizes now, reminders of Elesa's care for them, reminders that he still had his own mind, even as a weapon.

He had always taken the brunt of bullying for Emmet.

He had always wondered about his worth just a little more.

After all of that, he could be just a little more sure of it, instead.)

They were a perfect way to show her how it was done.

Once they'd figured it out themselves, they booked an open Saturday for all three, and set out to Elesa's apartment to invite her to the training ground in DWMA.

Their first lesson: side against side.

This was the hardest.

Emmet's side is rather small, and unless you know his blade very very well, it's hard to remember where it is without looking for quite a while.

Inevitably, though, she could do that.

The second lesson, and pleaded for by Emmet: for the love of Arceus, lower your pressure.

Part of what made both incidents so damaging was the sheer pressure Elesa used when pressing down.

This was the easiest part to get down.

The third, and final, lesson: be sure, but not hasty. If you stutter, it doesn't make the right noise. If you're too fast, though, you risk damaging the blades in the process.

After a few weeks, Elesa training in her own time, she asked to try again.

When they paused in return, she promised to be gentle at first, promised she knew what she was doing now.

They agreed.

She did it gently, at first, for the first 50 rounds.

On the 51st, she did it the way she had been.

An awful noise rang through the clearing.

Both weapons cheered, Ingo giving a loud 'Bravo!!'

Neither had been harmed.

After some more training, and once they weren't afraid of it, Emmet and Ingo got talking, once they'd gotten home.

The next time the three trained together, they asked Elesa to try again, saying they wanted to try something.

She simply shrugged and held her hands out for them as they transformed.

When she scraped Emmet against Ingo, the awful noise echoed throughout the clearing in a way it hadn't before, bouncing roughly off of her soul.

They apologized for that, admitting they didn't mean for it to affect her, as well; she just shook her head, saying she was used to the sound by now, asking them how they'd done it.

They transformed back, explaining the process of bouncing the sound between each other and out into other souls in the area.

She was very impressed.

Drayden was cheering them on for it within the hour, having been called over to see by his excited nephews (and honorary niece).

you have made it to the realm of non copy pasted stuff! i added the part where they train her how to do it right instead of writing that part again bc its 3 am and it was already good

okok. more fun non copy-paste stuff (that i discarded and had to rewrite UGHHHHH)

once ingo has healed and been sent home, and once drayden has the time, he comes over to visit.

He asks Emmet to leave the two of them alone (just for a small while, he promises, when the boy hesitates-caring as ever, the both of them, same as they've always been), and sits down on the twins' couch, ignoring the creak when he sits down (but revelling in the snort Ingo makes as he does).

And, after a moment, he asks Ingo to look at him, turning as he does.

Grey eyes stare up into his, focusing intently.

"If your meister dismisses you when you tell them they have harmed you," he begins, slow and methodic, words to live by being spoken, words to respect, "they should not be your meister. And if your fellow weapon dismisses you when you tell them you are harmed, they should not be your fellow weapon."

Grey eyes stare up back at him, glassy.

He pauses for a long moment.

These are words to let sink in, words to remember.

They are a lesson he learned the hard way, words he should've lived by.

There is more than one reason he now wields himself, this among the many.

They are words he taught himself, words he teaches many, whenever he has the chance.

Ingo nods, firm and sure, after a moment.

He recognizes that, that they are words to live by.

He figures he won't need them, with people like Emmet and Elesa around.

But they will stay safe in his heart regardless.

n e ways. its 3:50 am PASKSKD and i had to rewrite it so srry if it looks fucky ^^' however that's it for our midnight-4 am soul eater au post bonanza!! gn everybody lmao

[misty-howler]

Letter from your Future lover...

Hello everybody 🌼 This is my first pac on this blog kinda excited. I have termed the person here as 'future lover' but this can be your spouse as well. You just have to keep them in mind.

DISCLAIMER : All my readings are for entertainment purposes only. As it is a general reading it may or may not resonate with everyone.

Choose your pile wisely and intuitively :)

Pile 1 → Pile 2 → Pile 3 → Pile 4

Pile 1

Dear Y/n

Loving you before meeting you sounds a bit farfetched but this is the only way I know that my love for you is not based on emotions and attractions. First let me start of by saying, it took years to finally understand how to love I apologize for taking so long.

Now I know why my past relationships never worked out there was never we us or ours. Knowing that my giving nature long to share everything from possessions to passion giving to you will be my pleasure.

I look forward to building new memories while we purse you are dreams as the universe guides us with you ushering me.

I thank you in advance... For accepting me as I am, even my imperfections and quirky ways. Thank you for not judging me by my past mistakes. Each day I started with fresh visions of us that held in he make better decisions. Thank you for your bright spirit and smile.

Thank you for giving me what I have always wanted to be able to look in your eyes and say thank you for being the one to show me what love on Earth is supposed to be like.

Thank you sincerely for wanting me for choosing me to love and keeping my heart safe each day. I am truly grateful for universe granting us the time to share precious moments unconditionally.

Love,

Your Future lover

Pile 2

To my future lover,

I know you are out there somewhere. Maybe I have already meet you maybe I haven't. Maybe I will know it right away, maybe I will despise you at first but there is a few things that like to promise you.

I promise to leave you cute notes around the house on brightly coloured post-its. I hope they make you smile. I promise to sleep of behind you when you are watching TV or at the computer and whisper how much I love you. I promise to make you breakfast in bed on a penis and their morning then not be able to go do anything because I will want to stay in bed with you all day. I promise to encourage you when you need to meet a deadline and bring you coffee in the middle of the night when you need to stay up. I promise never to make you hold my bags, unless you offer ofcourse. I promise, already, not to hate your parents. I don't like that in law stigma. At least I will play a good pretend game. I promise to never complain that your bread is too scruffy or that your clothes are all wrong. I promise to not bother you when you have your 'boys/girls over' for the big game. Promise to listen to you complain when you are sick and love at all your jokes that aren't funny. I promise that when we are fighting I will somehow make you laugh in the middle of it. We will have to stop and kiss and makeup. I promise that we will laugh at our own cute inside jokes no one else understands.

And that we will be the grey hair eighty year olds holding hands in public.

Only yours,

Future lover name

Pile 3

Babe,

I promise that I will love you for who you are. I will look past your flaws, imperfections, and insecurities and will accept you for who you are. I will love you for them because they make you for you. I promise you that I will always make time for you regardless if I am busy or not. I will set aside everything just to hang out of talk to you because you mean that much to me. I will also do it because you are my first priority and you mean everything to me. I promise you that I will always be here for you whenever you need someone the most. I promise you that I will never criticize or judge you. I will accept your past faults and mistakes. I promise you that I will never ask you to change because you are perfect just the way you are. Not only do I want to be your husband/wife but I want to be your best friend. I want you to come to me and trust me with everything. I want you to tell me your problems and I want you to vent to me because I am here to listen to every word you have. Everyday I will prove and show to you how much I love you because action speak louder than words. I want to be the one who can make you laugh and smile everyday. I can't promise you a perfect relationship because there will be arguments, fights, misunderstandings, obstacles and problems we'll go through. But I can promise you, that despite what happens now or in the future, I will be by your side every step of the way.

Yours lovingly,

Xyz

Pile 4

Dear Future lover,

I pray to universe for us to be together someday soon, and when we are, I will thank him for every night that I fall asleep in your arms, for every kiss we share, for every fight we have, for everything embrace and every knowing look you give me.

I believe marriage is secret so guess what divorce is not an option.ever. sorry you are stuck with me:) I know our relationship will not always be easy or perfect but I vow to kiss you good night no matter how much you infuriate me, if you vow to hold me no matter how much I have gotten on your nerves. Yes, I understand there will be time we will argue in which case I hope you just wrap me in your arms and kiss me ( it's good way to calm down, no?) And I sincerely hope we never scream or call each other names.

Love,

Future lover name

Masterlist 🔗

[pentechnics]

Weight

Chapter 15 of Of Love and Time

Summary: Din contemplates the myriad of changes his world has undergone. His heart aches for you while he tries to determine how many more risks lie ahead, and how he's supposed to keep a handle on his grudges. His family, ever present as they are, do what they can to support him.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader (no y/n)

Series content: teacher/parent AU, fluff, slow burn, lots of mutual pining, sexual tension, mentions of past trauma (tagged in detail for specific chapters), depictions of violence (nothing explicit, no gore), angst, a dash of hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, Grogu is at the equivalent age of a human 4-year-old and can speak

Notes: I am once again apologizing for the wait Din's POV? In my main storyline? More likely than you think! 😜 This one was particularly tricky to write since it's so unlike the rest! I'll admit, it's mostly filler, but there's a lot of good important context and cute father-son moments as well! I did still have a good time with it and I hope you enjoy it! We're nearing the end here, my loves, which means the remaining chapters are going to be much easier for me to write and shouldn't take as long to get out there! I'm anticipating two more full chapters and an epilogue before this story is done. Fret not though, I'll still 100% write drabbles/other such requests for this universe once that happens!

Again, I am so grateful for all of your love and support with this series! And I'm especially thankful for your patience with these past few chapters. I'm sorry they've taken so long to get released, but I'm really hoping that won't be the case anymore! Please leave me your thoughts and as always, all the love to you! ❤️

Taglists under the cut; let me know if you'd like to be added!

Din sat at the kitchen counter, comm in hand.

He’d been staring at it for at least an hour now.

The dim yellow light spilled all around him, coating the kitchen in its soft glow. The living room just beyond was cloaked in a silent darkness.

It was late, everyone else in the house had retired hours ago. But Din couldn’t sleep.

When he tried to lay down, he was met with an endless mental assault of thoughts: concerns, scenarios that he could do nothing to stop, situations from the past that he could’ve handled in a different way.

So many things he could’ve said. So many things he wanted to say now.

He sighed and set the comm down, running his hands down his face.

He couldn't help worrying about you. You seemed so sad the day he left, and the stress from the report had to be weighing on you. And that was enough to stress about without Bo acting like a complete ass to you.

Din was furious when Gila told him what happened. She had to physically stop him from marching into Bo’s classroom to strangle him. No one threatens his son without facing consequences. And no one should dare to treat you with such disrespect and malice without getting ripped apart.

Din’s nostrils flared with his breath, anger boiling as he recalled the meeting.

He wasn’t worried about Bo’s threat. Himself aside, Fennec and Boba would not be deterred by the words of a worm like that. No matter what Bo tried to pull, they weren’t leaving without a fight.

More than anything he wanted to make sure you were okay. He’d asked Gila countless times how you were, if Bo had hurt you, if you needed anything. After some prying she described how shaken up you were, and it tugged at something deep inside him.

You were not fragile. He’d seen your strength for himself in a multitude of ways. There was no doubt that you were thinking of Grogu first, which may have been why it affected you the way it did, but regardless of that it wasn’t something typical of you. And that scared Din.

He wanted nothing more than to hold you. To let you rest, take on your burden, and protect you. It killed him that he couldn’t be there to help. He had to know how you were doing.

He picked up his comm and began typing in the little box under your name.

‘Are you okay? Gila told me what happened.’

His thumb hovered over the ‘send’ arrow with hesitance. The two of you had an agreement, and this would breach it. But surely this situation was good reason? He sighed and set the comm down again, his nocturnal thoughts continuing to race.

It had been a week and a half since he last saw you. Since he last spoke more than a few sentences to you. Since he last touched you. He never imagined his heart would ache for you the way it was now, like a dull wound that carried its pain out for as long as possible to make him suffer all the more. An ache that grew stronger with the passage of time. He rubbed a hand against his chest in an attempt to ease the sensation.

Seeing you from a distance at school was too reminiscent of when Grogu first started. Back then Din was apprehensive, skittish, ready to snap at the first person that gave Grogu a weird look. And that didn’t change when he met you.

It took him time to adjust. He was so worried; it wasn’t easy to leave Grogu after having him in constant sight for so long. But you were patient, and you took the time to ease him into it. You proved your loyalty to your work, which involved Grogu’s protection. With that — and Grogu’s approval of you — it didn’t take Din nearly as long as he thought it would to be okay with the arrangement. That was the gateway to him finding out just how special you were.

Getting to see more of you over time, understanding the other amazing things you had to share, was an extra surprise. One he enjoyed with all his heart. There was more to be found about you, and he wanted to explore it all.

He’d be damned if he didn’t respect you the way you deserved.

He shut his comm down, turned off the kitchen light, and headed back to bed.

~~~~

Neither Din nor Grogu were fond of mornings. Din wouldn’t be able to resist giving his adorable sleeping boy five extra minutes in bed when the first attempt to wake him up failed. And then there was getting him washed up. Grogu would find any little thing to stall for time when Din tried to get him to brush his little teeth.

“You don’t even have that many, kid,” Din said. “It only takes a quick second.”

Regardless, the battle continued on until Din reminded him that he wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast if he didn’t brush, to which Grogu conceded. The promise of food never failed. Then came dressing up and collecting supplies for the day.

This portion was Din’s favorite, since the two of them did it together.

He helped Grogu get his clothes on before taking the time to suit up, Grogu bouncing on top of Din’s bed in the meantime. When that was done Grogu ran off to gather his backpack while Din packed up his satchel.

The cool frost of the morning greeted them when they stepped out of the house; Grogu puffed out breaths of air to watch them dissipate into mist.

“Look, Papa, I can breathe fire!”

Din chuckled and wrapped Grogu up in a blanket, taking care to cover up his big ears, before placing him on the speeder bike and securing him in place.

“You excited for school, firebreather?” he asked.

“Yep!” Grogu said with a smile.

That look of joy alone made the morning hustle worth it every time.

Din hopped on the bike and sped away from the house.

When they arrived at school and made their way into the courtyard, you were greeting a few other students at the gate. Din usually didn’t linger in the mornings, lest he be late for work. But sometimes, like today, he stayed and watched you walk Grogu to the classroom by the hand.

The sight of you both together always made his heart swell.

He wanted so badly to see that more often.

~~~~

There were a few big projects waiting for Din when he got to work, including a speeder engine, an R5 unit, and an old beat-up ship, all of which were in desperate need of repair. In some ways, the old ship reminded him of the Crest.

He took each job in stride, starting with the R5 unit and ensuring each little piece was going exactly where it needed to. Before he worked at this little shop, he only knew how to break droids; it was a strange change of pace learning how to repair them.

Strange, yet somewhat welcomed. If he kept this up, he reasoned, maybe one day he’ll be able to reprogram a droid the same way Kuiil reprogrammed IG-11.

After a couple hours he put the final circuit pieces in place and closed up the unit, backing away to see if it would come to life.

A few tense moments passed before the little bulbs on its head began to glow, and it released a few cheery beeps. Din chuckled and gave the droid a little pat.

“Glad that actually worked. Looks like you’re good to go.”

R5 twirled around and beeped before following Din to the front of the shop.

As the day went on Din’s mind wandered while he worked. He wondered what time Fennec and Boba would be home that night, if he should make enough dinner for all four of them. He started running through different options in his head. Maybe he’d let Grogu decide what to have this time.

When the afternoon rolled by, he’d completed every project aside from the ship. He clocked out with some of his coworkers and made his way out of the workshop.

“You coming out with us tonight, Mando?” one of them asked.

“Can’t. Gotta be home for my kid today.”

And that was true this time. He’d gone out with the folks from work a few more times since that night with you. Even though he didn’t hate it the way he always figured he would, he’d never admit it to anyone. Especially not Boba or Fennec.

But maybe you.

He mounted his speeder bike and sped off towards the school, the anticipation of seeing Grogu’s face immediately calming his busy mind and refocusing his attention.

~~~~

The courtyard was alive with the usual hustle and bustle that came with the end of a school day. Families littered the space, waiting for their young ones to emerge from the gate. Din stood in his usual place, arms crossed over his chest, a silent beacon among the scattered noise.

The week was nearing its end; snippets of nearby conversations being had by other families revealed various weekend plans and excitement for a chance to relax. Din tapped his foot against the pavement and contemplated what he and Grogu might do over that time.

When you came into view with the children on your heels, a familiar weight settled in Din’s chest — a reminder of the space you’d created for yourself there.

These weeks without you felt as though a black hole had opened up around his being, stalking him like a phantom through each of his days. Grogu would tell him about his time at school and all the things you taught him, and it reminded Din of everything you might lose.

Because of him.

It was no secret how much you valued your work. Seeing you with the kids was an ever-present reminder that you truly belonged in this role. Din’s mind wandered back to the field trip, and to Open House: the few times he was able to see you in your full teaching element. The students adored you just as much as you did them.

And despite the fact that you were making a difference in their lives, you stayed humble, always thinking about how they helped you grow instead. Hearing you talk about it made Din’s heart melt every time. Seeing you now, sending the children off with your signature smile and accompanying gesture had his heart swelling all over again.

He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if his actions caused you to lose all that. Though even then, he’d be lying if he said he regretted anything.

Meeting you was like stepping into a clear opening after being lost in the forest: refreshing, freeing, healing. The next step towards finding one’s way home again. And each moment spent with you made him feel like he was getting closer and closer to that destination.

In many ways you helped him remember what peace felt like among the violence of the galaxy. And as selfish as it was, he wouldn’t trade that in for anything.

“Excuse me, sir?”

A familiar voice from Din’s left broke him out of his daze. He turned to find Li’s mother standing beside him, her hesitant hand reaching his way.

He took a deep breath. Despite settling the little dispute, this woman wasn’t someone he wanted to speak with.

“How can I help you?” he asked.

“I just wanted to tell you something,” she started, pausing to straighten her posture and look up into his visor. “I felt like my apology at the Open House wasn’t that sincere, so I wanted to formally tell you that I’m very sorry for how I treated the whole situation.”

Din’s brow shot up. He tilted his head to the side with a nod, urging her to continue.

“It wasn’t fair of me to lump Grogu into our own troubles. He’s a very sweet child.”

“He is,” Din said, dropping his hands to his sides. “Thank you.”

She nodded and looked down at the ground.

“You know, I actually spoke with another teacher that night and he didn’t seem all that thrilled when Li started talking about Grogu. He actually looked rather mad.”

“What do you mean?” Din leaned in closer, concerns proceeding to swim around his head.

“He kind of tensed up. It was strange. I had a feeling it was about the incident. I don’t remember his name for the life of me, but I felt like it was important that you knew about it.”

“Can you remember what he looked like?”

She took a second to think before looking towards the school gates.

“Oh, it was that man there. In the back.”

Din followed her pointing finger, which extended past the gate where the classes were parting ways to reveal a figure walking down the open hallway: shoulders stooped, hands in his pockets.

Din’s hands clenched into tight fists. That had to be the guy. The one responsible for the false report, the one who came after you and his son.

The one who needed to be taught a lesson.

In a flash, the world around Din disappeared. The sounds, the people, even you. All he could see was red.

Before he could think his feet were moving. The vague call from Li’s mother fell short of his ears. His eyes were locked on his target. He stomped his way across the courtyard, gaze unmoving from the man’s figure.

As his image grew closer and closer, a sudden pressure against Din’s shoulder grabbed his attention.

You were at his side, facing him with a hand firmly pressed against the fabric poking out beside his pauldron. Your eyes spoke for themselves: concern, understanding, and caution. You took a breath and slowly shook your head.

Your expression seemed to whisper at him, cutting through his sudden rage with a scary lack of resistance. ‘It’s not worth it,’ it said.

And it was right.

Din took a deep breath and looked around. Thankfully not many eyes were looking his way.

“I’m sorry.”

A raspy whisper. It was all he could manage as guilt ate at his throat, his anger ebbing into a poking frustration in the pit of his stomach.

You smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze before letting go. The weight of its sudden absence poked at Din’s heart.

“I understand, trust me. I’d love to sock him in the face, too.”

The playfulness in your tone got him to release a small chuckle. Grogu ran up to him with concern in his big brown eyes.

“Are you okay, Papa?”

“I’m fine, pal,” Din said as he scooped up the little bundle. “Don’t worry.”

~~~~

The waxing hours of the morning cloaked the house in a dim grey light, the sun only just beginning to peek out from under the horizon. Din drank his caf and watched the clouds pass through the window from his seat at the dining table.

It had been so long since he’d been awake to see a sunrise, let alone be able to sit and watch. Life on this planet was quiet and calm, two things Din wasn’t accustomed to living with just yet. They lingered like nosy neighbors in his everyday, and months later he still didn’t know what to say to get them to leave him alone.

“You’re up early.”

Din turned to see Fennec standing in the doorway. He shrugged and returned his attention to the window.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Any reason?”

He shrugged again.

“Just thinking.”

“What about?” she asked, taking a seat beside him.

Din didn’t answer right away. The past months ran through his mind, each memory revealing new opportunities and challenges that he was still adapting to. The calm lifestyle aside, he wasn’t used to this level of friendliness. With few exceptions, the folks he’d met here treated him with kindness and respect without expecting anything in return.

Trust was hard to come by in this galaxy. But it flowed like a steady river in the hearts of these citizens. And an ocean of it existed within you alone.

“A lot has changed since we got here,” Din said after a moment. “It’s been a weird adjustment.”

“Yeah,” Fennec breathed, “It’s still strange to not be looking over your shoulder with every step. Though it’s also nice.”

He nodded. A few more moments of comfortable silence passed.

“How’s the new job been going?”

“Fine,” Fennec said, “though it’s weird testing weapons for a planet like this. I feel like they’d never actually use them.”

“You’re probably right,” Din said with a chuckle. “It’s nice that they’re still prepared, though.”

The two of them made some more small talk, little beats of silence cushioning each topic, before Fennec dug deeper.

“You don’t have to hide it, Mando. You miss her, don’t you?”

Din took a deep breath and a big sip of his caf, contemplating how to word his response.

“It’s okay. Not being able to talk to her or spend any time with her after constantly doing that is bound to be hard.”

“I mean,” Din started, pausing to think through his words. “In the end I’m fine with waiting. That’s not a problem for me. I’m just-” he sighed.

“I can’t help worrying.”

He fell silent and took another swig of his caf, turning to face Fennec before speaking again.

“Everything’s going well for us here. We settled down, we all got jobs, Grogu’s doing great in school. And all of that is still true. But there’s still a lot we don’t know. A lot that feels like it’s missing.”

“That’s because something is missing. We just didn’t realize that until we found her.”

Din’s brow scrunched together as he turned away from her, his expression betraying how perfect the description was. You fit right into their little family with ease, as if you were always meant to be there.

“And that’s okay, too. Don’t be afraid to let her in.”

“I’m not,” he countered, waving a hand. “Not at all. Quite the contrary, actually. I guess I’m just wondering how many more changes will happen. If they’ll be good or bad.”

Fennec nodded.

Din’s mind began to race, possible scenarios playing out in his mind. How would you react if you lost your job because of that report? He wouldn’t blame you if you ended things with him then. But how in the world would he tell Grogu?

And in the event that happens, what sort of stunt would Bo try to pull? While Din knew better than to worry about that, he still had a feeling his usual methods of dealing with such nuisances wouldn’t be appreciated or allowed on a planet like this one.

Then there was the slim chance. The one where everything somehow worked out and you would still want to be with him. Even that scenario had Din concerned. He was still adjusting to the new creed he’d created for himself; taking off his helmet in front of you and looking into your eyes with his own would be difficult, no matter how much he genuinely wanted to do it.

He sighed. Too many questions crowded his brain. He gulped down the rest of his caf and stared out the window again.

“Don’t torture yourself, man,” Fennec stood and clapped him on the back. “What’s done is done, and we’ll take it in stride. It’ll be fine.”

He looked up and gave her a small nod.

“Thank you.”

~~~~

“Again, again!”

Din laughed and picked Grogu up, lightly tossing him into the air before catching him again. Grogu erupted into a giggling fit and snuggled into Din’s chest.

“Okay, new game now. Papa’s arms are tired.”

Din set Grogu down and he immediately reached for another toy.

The two of them were playing in Din’s office after having hung up some more of Grogu’s art on the wall. They both took a seat on the floor and Din let Grogu run the show.

“Grogu,” Din said, “how do you feel about the last week of school? It’s coming up fast.”

“I’m excited,” he said, ears perking up. “Miss said the last day was gonna have lots of games!”

Din smiled, recalling the message you’d sent about Field Day.

“But… will I get to see my friends after?”

Grogu’s gaze grew wide, his bright eyes brimming with preconceived sadness.

“Of course you will,” Din scooted closer and patted his head. “You can play with them over your vacation time. And then you’ll see them every day in a few months when school starts again.”

Grogu grinned. After a moment, his expression became contemplative.

“Papa, why haven’t you told Miss that you love her yet?”

Din’s eyes bulged from his head. Where was this question coming from?

“You do, don’t you? You should tell her!”

Din’s jaw hung loose while his brain tried to catch up and form words, all his muscles going stiff. He couldn’t lie to his son and say that wasn’t true, but with all the other variables in play he wasn’t sure how to address the topic.

“Um, you see, Grogu-” his breath caught in his throat, making him gulp before he could continue. “She’s still your teacher, so I can’t be saying anything like that to her. It’s against the rules.”

Grogu’s brow furrowed. He almost looked angry with how his eyes narrowed downward. Din bit back a chuckle; he was too cute.

“When have rules ever stopped you from doing what you wanted?”

Din sighed. This kid knew him too well.

“Well, before, I would only do it if I knew I could protect you, or if doing it only hurt me. But this time breaking the rules would hurt her, too.”

“Oh,” Grogu said, dragging out the word. “We don’t want that.”

“Exactly.”

That seemed to appease him; he dropped the subject and went back to his toys. Din tossed a ball around with him for a few minutes before Grogu let out a gasp and his expression turned into one of sudden shock.

“I forgot!!”

“What, what is it?” Din asked, leaning over to get closer to him.

“I forgot to give Miss the picture!”

Confusion took over Din’s brain as he watched Grogu waddle out of the room as fast as he could. When he returned, there was a folded paper held tightly in his hands.

“I was gonna give her this when she got better, but I forgot.”

He handed it to Din, who slowly unfolded it.

The image had his heart melting.

Grogu had drawn himself between you and Din, a background of colorful stars surrounding you all. But unlike most of his drawings, Grogu depicted Din’s smiling face rather than his helmet.

Din grinned at Grogu.

“This looks amazing, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“I’m gonna give it to her tomorrow!”

“Actually,” Din started softly, “could we wait a little longer? Miss hasn’t seen my face yet.”

“Really?” Grogu asked, face betraying his deep confusion. “But you slept over at her house.”

“I kept my helmet on.”

“The whole time?”

“That’s right.”

Grogu looked down in contemplation before tapping Din’s arm.

“You’re funny, Papa.”

Din laughed and scratched Grogu’s head.

“So is it okay if we wait?”

“Yes,” Grogu said, bringing one of his little hands to his chin. “But can you keep the picture for me? I don’t wanna give it to her too soon on accident.”

Din chuckled.

“Sure, pal.”

The two of them went back to their playtime, bright rays of afternoon sunlight periodically peeking through the window and casting a yellow glow on the room.

Grogu’s bold words from earlier wouldn’t stop bouncing around Din’s mind:

‘You love her, don’t you? You should tell her!’

If only he knew how much Din wanted to.

~~~~

The last week of school was here at last.

On Monday afternoon Din was stationed at his spot in the courtyard, his fingers tapping against his gauntlet while he waited for you to arrive at the gate with the children.

It was all too relieving to consider that his time without you might be over soon. Despite not knowing what was to happen with the reports or your job, he hoped that any answer could lift a burden from both of your shoulders.

He never got tired of seeing your smiling face. When you made your way to the gate with the kids on your heels, you gave him a small wave. He fought against the urge to freeze up and offered a stiff nod in return.

As he watched you give the first few kids their hugs and high-hands, he wondered how you were faring with the school year ending. It was clear how attached you’d gotten to this group; he hoped parting with them wouldn’t add too much grief to your heart.

The families slowly thinned away until Din was the only one standing in the courtyard. He watched you give Grogu a hug before meeting him halfway and scooping him up. But instead of turning back to his speeder, he approached you.

“I just had a quick question, Miss,” he said, hand coming up to scratch at his neck.

“Of course, what can I do for you?”

Your grin coupled with your soft tone made heat flare up in Din’s cheeks, his breaths coming up shorter. Kriff, how did you keep doing this to him? And without even trying?

“So- so this is their last week, right? What exactly will it look like?”

“Well,” you started, “tomorrow will be a normal day just like today. But Wednesday’s their last day, so coupled with the early release will be the Field Day I messaged the families about. Did you receive that?”

He nodded, remembering the detailed activities in your message along with encouragement for families to attend with the children.

“Should we be bringing anything to that?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head. “Just yourselves.”

You held his gaze, as if you could tell exactly where his eyes were sitting behind his visor. He was trapped in the beauty of your irises, which suddenly shined with a new sense of ease.

“And… that’ll be it? It’ll be over?”

Din couldn’t help the hope dripping from his voice. It was killing him that he couldn’t take your hand in his own, or glide a finger across your cheek. He had to make sure he wouldn’t have to endure this for longer than the two of you bargained for.

Your smile grew as you gave him a small nod.

“Yes, Din,” you whispered, “It’ll be over.”

His heart was moments away from bursting out of his chest. Hearing you say his name was like being struck by lightning: shocking, exhilarating, rocking him to his core. He missed how it sounded coming from your lips. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“That’s good. Thank you.”

“Certainly,” you said with a nod. “I’m looking forward to seeing you there, hopefully with Fennec and Boba as well.”

“Oh, they’re definitely coming,” he said with a chuckle, recalling the excitement in their eyes when he told them about Field Day. “They both immediately called out of work and talked through all the activities with Grogu.”

You laughed, your face radiant under the light of the afternoon sun, yet a tint of sadness still rang through it.

Din wished he could kiss it away.

“Tell them I say hi,” you said.

He gulped down the lump in his throat. Something about your expression told him there was something you were holding back. Words? Actions? Pain? He wasn’t sure.

But he wanted to see it.

Two more days, he reminded himself. He’ll see it in two more days.

“I will,” he breathed.

When he and Grogu turned to leave, Grogu tilted his little head to look back at you.

“Bye Miss! I love you!”

“Love you too bud, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Once Din reached his speeder and set Grogu up in the seat, Grogu reached for his hand and looked into his visor.

“I think she loves you too, Papa.”

Din sucked in a breath and patted Grogu’s head before settling in the front seat, mentally squashing down the thoughts that threatened to emerge from that statement.

‘Let’s not get my hopes up just yet, kid.’

****

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[cat-induced-fever-dream]

I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Genre: Angst if you squint really hard. Fluff to make up for Marvel reminding me that Nat is dead.

Description: The falling in love of Wanda Maximoff and you. (If anyone has a better description please hit me up.)

Notes: Was going to be a one-shot and then it didn’t happen so there’s going to be a second part. It’ll probably happen in like a month though since I have a trip. Comments always appreciated. :)

- - -

You’re not sure when it happened. To be fair, neither is Wanda.

You had just started with SHIELD, and were there for the battle with Ultron, and then when Wanda became an Avenger. You remember the admiration you held for her, for her powers, for her determination to do what was right, her grit. Now, it was more of a well-deserved respect. Her strength when everything else in her life seemed to be gone, her brutal honesty regarding matters important to her, and her loyalty to those she cared about.

Maybe that’s when it started. As an exemplary agent, you could handle most things Fury assigned you, but being an Avenger? That was a whole new battleground. One that Wanda had your six on. From simple things, like showing you around the compound, and looking for you when you inevitably got lost (again). Wanda with her no frills attitude and sharp tongue, lashing out at Fury himself when he assigned you your 6th mission in 4 days. Wanda with her soft smiles that made your stomach flip and whispered jokes when she noticed your anxiousness on a mission. It wasn’t easy, keeping up with super soldiers, spies with years of experience on you, actual gods, but Wanda made it simple.

- - -

Wanda sometimes wondered if she could really be a hero. She wasn’t a good person. She had done terrible things. Then you stumbled in, a fresh agent and an even fresher Avenger, but you looked at her with no distrust. A little lost perhaps, but no malice. That confused SHIELD agent? It reminded her of, well, her. It may have been under different circumstances, but in essence, they were the same. Thrust into a world of avenging, knowing no one, knowing nothing. So she threw you a line, offered her support when you looked like you needed it. Wanda expected a bite, but she didn’t expect a tug back. The way you offered to help her practice her powers (a little naively), and then when you realised your mistake, your offer to teach her the hand to hand combat you had learned from SHIELD. The way you always looked back for her on a mission, even when you knew she could protect herself with said powers. You were on her team, a comfort she didn’t have since Pietro died. Okay well the Avengers were also her team, but you were her person, always in her corner.

- - -

It shouldn’t be this easy. Sometimes it felt like you could read each other’s minds. To be fair, Wanda could read your mind, but you knew she wouldn’t do it without your permission. Still, there was something about your unspoken agreements that came so naturally. Where everyone else was on comms, it was like the pair of you were tuned to the same wavelength, communicating in a code not even Natasha could decrypt.

“You just get me, you know?” Wanda says, as the two of you are sprawled on her bed after a mission. “It’s like our brains are, I dunno, smooshed together or something. Not even Vision feels like this, and we’re literally connected by an Infinity Stone in his head.”

“Smooshed together?” you laugh. “What an insightful description. And I can’t believe you just compared me to that toaster. I’m obviously way better than him.”

“You realise he can shoot lasers right?”

“And I can turn on a laser on the sights of my guns. Sit down, you’re not special.”

This earns you a giggle. “But it’s like you’re in my brain.”

“Oh so I’m always on your mind?”

“Shut up Y/N/N.”

“Maybe your powers are rubbing off on me,” you joke, wiggling your fingers in her face.

“I do not look like that,” cries Wanda indignantly. “And if you have my powers, what am I thinking about right now?”

“Stealing Sam’s cupcakes,” you reply with no hesitation.

“I was actually thinking about how I hope Steve never reassigns mission partners,” she says pointedly. “But now that you mention it, I could really do with a cupcake.”

“I was right then?” you tease, tugging her towards the kitchen with a cheeky grin.

Wanda rolls her eyes at you, but she mirrors your grin and your stomach is swooping again.

“For the record, you’re my favourite mission partner too.”

- - -

Wanda didn’t expect to call the compound home. She stayed because she had nowhere else to go. And with her differences with Stark and the friendly but still guarded manner of the other Avengers initially (though she didn’t blame them), she kept to herself. But you were different. She noticed the way you prioritised her, looked out for her, to the best of your ability.

She’s shaken from nightmare and automatically, her feet lead her towards you. It’s late, she knows, but when she knocks on your door, you open with an easy smile and open arms that envelop her gently. When her sobbing subsides, you break away, wiping the tear tracks with your thumb.

“Dick van Dyke?” you ask.

Nodding wordlessly, Wanda lets you lead her your bed and settles in beside you.

That’s when she notices the stacks of files illuminated by your desk light.

“Sorry,” she sniffles, throat raw from crying, “did I interrupt you?”

“Oh those?” you say, waving dismissively at your desk. “Maria’s just been on my back lately to get those done, but it’ll be fine.”

With a stab of guilt, she makes to move of the bed, but you grab her wrist before she can. “Don’t worry about it, those can wait.”

As the TV murmurs softly in the background, you wrap a comforting hand around her, and she begins to drift off, nightmares warded away by your presence.

And she wakes up the next morning with the duvet pulled over her, and you slumped at your desk.

- - -

It was an easy mission. Most missions are when you and Wanda are paired together. Get in, get the data, get out. But then HYDRA agents were swarming the building, and intel definitely didn’t mention this level of security, and the exits were blocked off.

“I’m definitely gonna punch Tony later for this,” you groan, and Wanda shoots you a smile before returning to the approaching soldiers. Silently you whip around, firing rounds at the agents on the other end of the corridor. This was one of the many “plans” you had with Wanda, the endless missions allowing you to familiarise yourself with how your two fighting styles complimented each other. Being the enhanced out of you two, Wanda would push forward, handling the bulk of attacks with a flick of her wrist. You had her back, shooting at the stragglers who came from behind. Spotting something that resembled a server room, you gave a tug on her sleeve and she nodded, reassuring you that she had it handled.

Not wanting to leave Wanda for longer than necessary, you plug in the drive to do its Stark-tech thing and bolted back outside. To find the bodies slumped en masse on both end of the hallway.

“Guess you did have it handled,” you say, waving at the uniformed soldiers.

“Oh my god that isn’t even a good pun,” the witch replies, before continuing with a smirk. “But yes, I am way more powerful than you.”

“Don’t think that was ever in question,” you say, but then alarms were blaring, and the building plunges into a red glow and then oh my god there’s a gun behind Wanda and before you knew what was happening, a shot had fired from your gun and there was a burning pain in your shoulder.

The brunette whirls around just as you collapse into the wall. “Guess you’re not as an amazing shot as I am though,” you mutter, before blacking out.

- - -

To say Wanda was in a state of panic was an understatement. It was more like a whole damn continent. As much as she reassured you before missions, your easygoing, playful attitude was her anchor  in these intense situations. Everywhere felt like home, like you two bickering on the couches. Your constant presence was like bringing a piece of the compound with her. And regardless of her experience as an Avenger, as an ex-agent, you were undoubtedly better with running missions. Not everything was a save the world type threat after all.

Eyes darting around, Wanda noted that you had indeed shot the last agent, before skimming across your bleeding out form.

The training doors opened with a bang and Wanda turned to the noise. Then she found herself pinned to the floor.

“Stay focused on the mission,” you scolded, before helping her back up.

The drive. You’d be pissed if she didn’t get it. Sprinting into the server room, she rips it from the port.

“Okay don’t laugh at me, but this is my hierarchy of the 3 Is.”

“Eyes?” Wanda asks.

“No, like the letter I. At the top is innocents, and they’re my priority. Steve says you can’t save everyone, but I can damn sure try. Next is the idiots. That’s the mission. ‘Cause I’d say you’re pretty damn stupid to go up against the Avengers. And finally we have Iron Man, or the heroes. As much as it’s going to hurt, we can’t let the sentiment get in the way. We all knew what we were signing up for, and I’m pretty sure all of us would rather it be us than someone else.”

“Thank you o wise one,” she mocks.

Wanda smiles a little at the memory, but tears pool at her eyes. Then she hears it, the faint footsteps pulling her back from her daze.

“Damn you and your stupid heart of gold,” she whispers, before flying the two of you back to the ship.

- - -

The steady beeping tugs you from slumber.

“Oh you’re up.”

You strain your neck to see Tony walking up with a bowl in his hands.

“You don’t sound very excited to see me Stark.”

“Not when I have to bring meals up here every day for Maximoff,” he says, pointing at the sleeping girl on the chair. “Hasn’t moved for days. Figured I’d hand deliver as an apology.”

“Aw did she punch you for me?”

“Worse,” he chuckled. “Gave me an earful.”

“I’d say you deserve it after that.”

He rubs his neck sheepishly. “Really, I’m sorry though. That was on me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you smile. “I’ll be fine. And thanks for looking after her.”

Tony nods politely before leaving the meal and you two alone.

“It’s good to have you back kiddo,” he calls, before shutting the door.

Reaching an arm through the railing, you poke Wanda’s elbow.

“Meal delivery for Miss Maximoff?”

The curled up form stirs a little, rubbing her eyes, before freezing in shock.

“You’re back!”

“Apparently so,” you reply with a wry grin.

Wanda leans over the hospital bed, green eyes searching for any injuries.

“I missed you,” she murmurs.

“And you missed one-“

A slap hits you on your injured arm, and you hiss in pain.

“I’m not apologising for that one,” she glares.

Raising your good arm up in surrender, you pout. “Don’t I get a pity pass?”

“Not for worrying me like that.”

“But it wasn’t even my fault!”

She rolls her eyes (she seems to do that a lot at you some reason).

“Wait,” you frown, “we broke our perfect mission streak.”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

Then she’s hugging you, her nose pressed into your neck. Her soft brown hair cascades over your face like a waterfall, tickling your chin. Through your gown, you’re hyper-aware of the cool metal of the rings which adorn her fingers, how nice she smells, how right it feels to be held by her.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she mumbles, her breath warming your neck, and your stomach is doing acrobatics. Even with the meds, you’re aware that this feels familiar, like something.

Pulling away, she studies your face. “Never. Do. That. Again.”

You laugh. “Glad we’re in agreement.”

It must be the meds, it must be.

[saturnity]

Telling Tenya Iida to take care of himself. Tenya Iida x Gender Neutral, Best Friend Reader.

(authors note: this is my first full length fic in...a while. motivation hit me like a brick and I decided I'd churn something out! this fic is dedicated to a few special friends: @classreptenyaiida, for the interactions I've had with him, @yarozu for being such a great fan and supporter!! @lostcoves for being my first friend on this platform and for being so so kind to me, @uwu-iwanttodie because god I know you're a sucker for tenya just like i am, and @tryingmyves for sticking around and being a wonderful person!! there's also one more special person this fic is dedicated to but I don't know their tumblr url and if they wish to be named LOL // but yes anyway, enjoy! i hope you like this, feel free to send me any feedback, rts and follows appreciated!!!)

warnings: none! all fluff. good for everyone.

Tenya Iida and (f/n l/n). The both of you were inseparable, friends since childhood, in the same class throughout elementary and middle school. You were overjoyed to hear that you’d be in the same class with him again in UA, brimming with excitement to be able to stick by his side for longer. Of course, you had a crush on him ever since you could remember...but you were really too scared, terrified, really, to confess to him- in fear of ruining your 15 years of friendship.

Out of all people, you were the person who knew how determined Tenya was to not only reach, but exceed his goals and aspirations. You knew how much he wanted to satisfy the people around him and meet their expectations. You didn’t exactly understand why he did it, but you knew how driven he was, and how he’d do anything within the law and the rules to get there. And he rarely failed. Tenya was a great inspiration in your life, encouraging you to do better, while growing together. In a way, he influenced you to work hard, train harder and to do your hardest. The both of you became a force to be reckoned with; your parents and Tenya’s parents realised this, and hoped you’d do great things as heroes in the future, allowing you to spend weekends and holidays together.

Throughout your first term, Tenya enthusiastically took up the role as representative of Class 1-A with pride. He’d come to you for feedback for his ideas, always asking your opinion before proceeding, and you’d be his biggest cheerleader. You improved ideas he delivered, making sure small details were tweaked, and ensured logistics ran smoothly. Whenever Tenya needed help, you were the first he’d go to. Tenya presumed the role of a figure of strength within Class 1-A, readily assisting people in need, hosting study groups after school, and going the extra mile to make sure everyone was...more or less, in line. His work towards being a ‘good hero’ started here, and it wouldn’t stop until his last breath. As an Iida, he worked daily to strengthen his reputation as a helpful, strong figure...no, a reputation as a hero.

But inside, you knew Tenya was tired. He was slowly burning himself out. He didn’t need a savior, but he needed someone to shake him awake. There were days where you’d find Tenya a little less awake than usual, even though he seemed to have the same amount of energy as every other day. You’d catch him zoning out after school days ended, maybe he’d drop from his chopsticks once more than normal at lunch, and sometimes he’d even forget to bring certain things to school. Your best friend definitely wasn’t sleeping or resting enough.

You did your best to make sure Tenya was taking care of himself. Sometimes, you would gently remind him to drink more water, or to get more sleep. Other times, you’d deliberately book ‘study sessions’ with him, only to do the exact opposite- taking him to a cafe for a ‘change of environment’, introducing him to several new drinks and cakes, much to his dismay. Or maybe you’d eat lunch on one of the school rooftops, and allow him to take a nap afterwards on your shoulder while you ran your fingers through his coarse, navy hair. Perhaps you’d relax at your house, a movie would be playing on the TV, and while he’d feverishly insist on studying or doing something more ‘productive’, you’d gently but stubbornly insist that he rest. As the days passed, Tenya placed his focus on his ambitions, and your opportunities to ensure his leisure decreased.

One night, you wondered why Tenya pushed himself so hard. Was it because he was a people pleaser? There were definitely times where he would be almost too eager to help others. Or was it because he decided to shoulder his world of responsibility alone? Maybe it was because he was constantly surrounded by good examples of what a hero should be, that he held the burden of his family name, that he was expected to be the next best thing for the hero community...or maybe it was all of the above. Tenya had been working tirelessly for this; yet he didn’t know when or how to take care of himself and to forget to be selfless. He was always running to help others, always thinking in the position of others, or whatever would be better for the future. You didn’t remember the last time he did something for himself. Regardless, you decided that you’d definitely work a little harder to make sure your best friend would care for himself. After all, everyone needed someone else to lean on, right?

You shook your head. “No. I’m serious. You need to rest. Or at least take it easy this weekend.”

Finally, one Friday afternoon, you saw Tenya yawn in class for the first time. He looked close to falling asleep, in fact, you could say he was positively exhausted. His eyelids fluttered downward, their weight becoming heavier and heavier with each blink. Inside, he was praying he wouldn’t get picked on to answer a question- he just wasn’t really following the class material anymore. Or worse, he hoped Mr. Aizawa wouldn’t assign group work- it’d mean he would have to actively interact with other people, which he didn’t have the energy for. Thankfully, the bell rang, and the gray, bleary-eyed teacher dismissed his class, unfurling his sleeping bag and escaping the room to get a nap himself. You walked up to Tenya’s desk and playfully smacked his arm, shocking him a little more awake. He adjusted his glasses and looked up to you.

“Heeey. Someone’s looking tired.”

“I suppose I didn’t sleep quite enough last night, (y/n).” Tenya grinned. To the normal eye, it would seem like one of the class rep’s normal, signature smiles, but to you, there was a fatigued weakness shielded behind its sunny exterior.

You arched an eyebrow. “You’ve said that every day for the last month and a half.”

“I know, I know. There’s so much work I need to get to, in fact, I should return to my dorm soon to st-” Tenya had finished gathering his things and prepared to leave the classroom, until your hand reached out onto one of his broad shoulders and pressed him back down onto his seat.

“No you fucking don’t.” You folded your arms, a frown plastered to your face.

Tenya scowled. “Please, (y/n), can we joke around later? I have to get th-”

“Look, if you’re aiming to be a successful hero in the future, you might as well take your own advice that you give so often to others and rest. You always tell us to make sure we get enough sleep, and you’re not even doing it yourself. If you’re tired or sick, you won’t be able to perform as well as you want to, right? And you always want to be at your best, don’t you, Ten?”

“But-” Tenya protested. He had so much work to do, so much to get to.

“Tenya Iida. In our 15 years of friendship, I’ve never seen you this fucking tired. We’re only in our first year. Are you going to keep doing this throughout school? Or what, the rest of your life? For the love of god, cut yourself some slack.” You almost yelled out in protest, in disgust of seeing your best friend suffer in silence.

Tenya stared at you in shock. You’ve never spoken to him like this before, or at least, it was rare. Usually you played more of a supportive role by his side, and when you were more assertive, you were never this pushy. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he heard you shout. The remaining members of Class 1-A who hadn’t yet left the room stared at the both of you in a similar amount of surprise as your bespectacled classmate did. After sighing, you decided to use reason that Tenya would buy into, desperately hoping he would do as you said.

“Then it’s settled. We’re gonna take it easy this weekend, okay? And don’t apologise for making me worry. It’s my job to look out for you, you know. And we haven’t napped together in a while too. I kinda miss that.” You brought Tenya into a hug.

Tenya sighed. You were right. He couldn’t hide that he was tired. And honestly, it was exhausting having to troop through each class with the meager 4-5 hours of shut-eye he was getting. It was a battle that he knew he was losing. He surrendered to your suggestion.

“I...uh...suppose you’re right. Sorry for making you worry.” Right after Tenya had finished that sentence, he yawned. There was really no hiding his tiredness now.

“Hey...(y/n)? Thank you. I appreciate you doing this.” Tenya smiled, as he reciprocated your warmth.

[thanatos-drive]

Dusk of the final day.

Less than 24 hours remian.

Copied from facebook.

Okay, I don't think sleeping will be happening.

I'll be driving to Penn to get my first Prolotherapy injections, in order for this to work I'll be needing to have them done over and over for the next couple of months, and that's just for A body part, so all together it's going to be a lot of shots, and a lot of pain inflammation.

Since I decided to go through with this a couple of weeks back, I've been trying to hunt down people with EDS who have had it and it's been a mixed bag of results. Those on whom it did work advise towards keep doing it even if it takes a couple of tries and upgrade to PRP (the really expensive one) as that seems to be more effective.

I'll be driving myself back after taking the shots, I was told against it but from what other people with EDS claim, it is possible, it's just going to hurt a lot, but that hurt is pretty much what we live in everyday (everyone told me the covid shots/booster would hurt and when I actually got it's not even a fraction of the pain I'm on a daily basis) so its possibly negligible. I don't think there's that much of a risk involved. If they were injecting my neck it would probably be an issue.

I want to say thank you to all the people who helped me with my gofundme, regardless of what happens next, the first round was covered thanks to your help.

Overall the analogy I'm giving myself is this is like chemo, or this is like insulin. It's something that could or could not work and it's something that I may have to keep doing to myself for the rest of my life.

There are so many stories I know about people with EDS who can't take care of themselves, I've been pretty vain and proud about it but I'm there already, I've been there for a while. I think it's probably a lot to think I could live by myself. But as stated in previous posts, I just need to survive a year. I could either move or find someone that's willing to room with me, but in the mean time I have to stay in Akron and finish my last year of school.

I wish I'd done this earlier and not as summer is about to end, a couple of bad things happened that mad me face facts. I am deluding myself into thinking I can manage without help, and without some sort of intervention (surgery, assisted devices, assisted living, prolo) I wished I'd decided towards this when I could still raise my arms or before I'd fallen down the stairs.

I thank to anyone who has kept up with my posts. I pretty much disappeared these last 4 years as this disease kept taking more and more away from me. I've become very low energy, easily fatigued, I'm not exaggerating when I say the lack of mental challenge in my life is making me dumb (look at my grammar), I've recently become familiar with the concept of brainfog and while I feel that's partially happening, I also think I'm legit getting dumber. I really am trying to make up for it, I've been afraid my lifespan has been affected along with so many other things, I've been treating this summer like a bucket list of things I wanted to do. I hope that if something does happen that I can leave more good memories than bad ones. And that what I've done to reconnect and talk more with some of you was good for you.

I have not been religious in a while, but I often think that even if you change your mind, smalls aspects of how you were raised still prevail. In saying this what I'm asking if that if you could throw some good wishes my way and hope that luck if on my side and I'm one of the people this works on, that would be appreciated.

I will need all the luck in the world to survive this year.

Thanks for putting up with my meme shitposting or my super emo messages.

[prettywarriors]

Ok ill bite whats the worst mg series

alright, whats the worst magical girl series in your opinion?

Thanks you two for letting me do some yelling. The obvious guess would likely be one of the recent edgelord shows right? Magical Girl Site or something similar? But nay I say, for while MGS and Day Break Illusion and such and what not generally tell you what to expect right away. Don't like super violence and suffering? Watch something else is the clear message from the get go. One of the bait and switch series then like Madoka or maybe Yuki Yuna? For what faults they may or may not have, at least these series do something and are interesting, even if you're not huge on what goes down in the series. A parody then? They range from affectionate to banned in New Zealand but regardless of quality and their feelings for MGs, it's a parody. It's a joke and shouldn't be taken seriously (plus they're usually short so you can just forget about them forever).

So what makes a series terrible then, I am sure you are asking. IMO? Setting expectations for an interesting and enjoyable series, and then dashing them to hell.

Come with me below the cut, as I talk about Key Princess Story: Kagihime Eternal Alice Rondo!

Spoilers abound so if you care about those for a 15 year old series, click away.

Background: Kagihime was a 4 volume manga that ran from 2004-2006 that was picked up for a 13 episode anime adaptation near the end of its run. The manga is created by a pair (Kaishaku) who you may know for making Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto. Kannazuki no Miko, and Steel Angel Kurumi, and the anime had a script written by the same writer (Mamiko Ikeda) for Tenshi Ni Narumon who also did some script writing for Princess Tutu and Seven of Seven. The anime also had 6 character music videos which are fairly simple but a nice addition to the series for the main girls. Discotek has been publishing the anime in the states in recent years, and the manga was brought over by *squints at book spine* Dr Master Publications.

The Premise: Girls transform and enter weird outside of reality spaces to fight each other with giant keys to take each other’s stories to create a third Alice In Wonderland story.

Well, an off-brand Alice story written by Alternate L. Takion, rather than Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson, that while the series uses all the aesthetic hallmarks of the tradition Alice, the little we see of the in universe Alice story is clearly different. Which is fine, at the end of the day, it’s still about someone who loves the Alice stories and wishes there was more, and even makes his own fanfiction version. His? Oh yeah, while the girls do all the fighting, the main character is Aruto, a teen boy who loves Alice, and for reasons we don’t know till late game, can enter the liminal spaces that the ‘Alice Users’ fight in. He chases a girl who looks like the Alice he sees in his story, who is named Arisu, and gets roped into this fanfic battle royale. He is also the older brother of the very needy Kirihara, who also ends up being and Alice User. As does Kirihara’s bff Kisa. To round out the group of enemies-turned-friends-who-will-work-together-to-collect-the-Eternal-Alice-without-having-to-fight-eachother group is a young genius researcher Kirika who wants to know more about Aruto’s connection that allows him to enter the spaces where the girls fight.

Then there’s all the other girls, some of whom still have real importance to the story and some who have a few panels or 2 scenes total. But with a whole bunch of girls to design, the creators reached out to a whole lot of other people to have them create designs! Eventually the battle gets down to the last few girls, there’s a confrontation with the guy running the whole thing, and while the anime and manga vary quite a bit the whole time, in both version Aruto ends up with Kirihara. Oh and Arisu was created by Aruto’s super imagination powers.  

The Promise: Here on is subjective, particularly with what I personally saw as potential from this series. because I need you to understand how much I want to like this series. 

~Alice in Wonderland themed: I know some people aren’t alice fans and that’s fine you do you but as a big alice fan this is great. We have a few alice episodes and themed characters amongst series like CCS and MGRP, and even Alice themes in other series like Tweeny Witches and Alice 19th. But damn it I am down for Alice series.

~Giant Keyyyyyyyys: Yeah yeah Kingdom Hearts but these keys are much more staff like for a lot of the characters which ads and air of elegance rather than the KH ones that for me at least feel well designed for big ol props rather than actual weapons. We also get...

~Weapon variety: It counts as a key if it’s a thorn whip that can be shaped like a key right? How about a giant pocket knife? Crossbows can also be keys. Hush. And we have this variety because

~Guest Artists: For magical girl series where we have a variety of outfits designed by different people, we have Kagihime, Uta~Kata, and uhh I guess Magia Record? But that’s a mobile game with a hella number of characters and with how mobile game works I wouldn’t count it just because it’s less the intent of the series to have variety and more the nature of having lots of girls. (Precure doesn’t count because unless I missed a memo each season’s set is still by one designer). If a series isn’t about a team and therefore doesn’t need cohesion, bringing in other artists is a great way for variety and new looks. 

~The long term goal: Fighting with other people who love the same piece of media you do in hopes of creating new material that will be viewed as official? That’s just fandom nowadays. But it’s a legitimate interesting concept, and opens up so many doors for a message for the series, be it ‘what you create is no less valuable than the canon work’ or ‘it’s hard to let go when something you love doesn’t have more to it but you can still love it for what it is’ or ‘bond with the people who like the thing you like ya idiot instead of fighting about it’. The concept is interesting and there are so many narrative ways you can take this.

~Gays: Between the anime and manga, we have at least 5 wlw. Is it a magical girl series without some gays? (side note- the manga had a short thing where the MC wears a girl’s uniform and is pretty comfortable in it and while there is no way this was the intent, between that and the emphasis on the stories that live in girls and how the fight zones have no men, I’m just saying, Trans girl Aruto.)

~Greater Fairy Tale Premise: We meet a Little Match Girl based MG who is obsessed with Andersen rather than the Alice books, and touch on a Sleeping Beauty character in the manga. The manga at least implies that classic stories and fairy tale authors uh. Live on in a liminal space as immortals with world warping powers within that world and there could be opportunities for other girls in the real world to fight for Little Mermaid 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The Good: Everything has positive points, no matter how bad it is.

~Character Designs: Some of those looks slap. As do most of their weapons. 

~Backgrounds: I have a strong opinion on backgrounds in anime that can be easily boiled down to old watercolor backgrounds good, modern filtered photos as background bad, and as a 2006 series, this might not be Memole nice but they’re quite attractive. 

~Splash Pages: Easily my favorite thing after the designs, each chapter’s title page for the manga just has a character standing in a setting. Which is not everyone’s thing I’m sure but it’s a nice simplistic way to let the characters breathe imo. Even if at least some of the settings were deffo traced. But that’s how backgrounds work to some extent? If I ever get to the Met again, I am tracking down this exact photo, but here is a likely candidate for an example.

~Different Versions: I do not understand the need to make an adaptation that tries to be a 1:1. Kagihime had the same ideas and characters and did some of the same beats but very much had a different finale story and a lot of changes in the middle (like the Alice cops in the manga). Again, not something everyone probably wants I’m sure, but I very appreciate this, especially since the Anime kept good pace with the number of Manga chapters (reading the manga again while watching the anime at 3.8x speed just now was very interesting to see the different interpretations of events in a different medium.)

The ‘Fine’: Yeah.

~Anime Visuals: Look 2006 was still early enough into digipaint that I will give it a total pass on these. The colors are too bright but in a very bland way, the lineart is nothing interesting, and the faces are. Iffy. But it’s not total garbage to look at (probably helped by backgrounds and character designs...) it just came out in an era where not enough people knew how to stylize things to account for the weakness of the tools of the time. (It was 4 years earlier but I feel Kagihime is the polar opposite of Chobits with its painfully bland color palette while still being just. Flat. Sorry for the drive by Chii.) 

~Music?: There sure were songs. Obviously, they are nothing to me.

The Bad: CW for.... somehow all the big things to an extent. 

~Fanservice: Look, I am fine with fanservice, especially for a series that’s, ya know, not targeted at kids, big Mai Hime fan here even if I would recommend skipping the panty thief episode. And honestly the series generally isn’t fanservicey, at least by the modern standards of having the camera choosing under the skirt rather than an over the shoulder shot like I’ve seen plenty in other shows. Even the sexier outfits like the rose whip dominatrix aren’t bad BUT. When the girls fight. One takes her phallic key and drives it into another girls chest between the boobs while the loser cries in pain and then her book comes out and when the victor rips out pages, the loser’s clothes also rip. It is very SuperS Amazon Trio assault metaphor-y. There’s also a bit of fanservice with the sister becauseeeee....

~Incest: If you read the premise up there, first wow good job because I’m sure not re-reading that, you might have noticed I said MC ends up with his sister. As someone who is a big mythology fan and watches plenty of anime, I have a decent tolerance for your obligatory ‘oh we’re siblings but actually cousins so our feelings are okay’ or whatever the fuck Citrus has going on I don’t know that series and I don’t vibe BUT. I have limits and boy did this series go beyond that because multiple episodes are dedicated to the sister being in love with the brother? And the brother returns her feelings but knows that they are wrong so he put everything he likes in his sister into his version of Alice who, of course, physically manifests as Arisu who he creates accidentally with his uh. Magic imagination powers. But again in both versions MC still ends up with his sister. Hey, at least the manga eventually said the boy was adopted when the sister was like, 3, so if nothing else no blood relations? The anime did not ad this. -_-

~Under Utilized Characters: Arisu’s gradual revelation that she has no childhood memories because she isn’t a real person is so interesting and they don’t do nothing with it but also? That’s the kind of thing I personally would love to dig into and Kagihime, while touching on this world shattering revelation, easily loops back to So Anyway She Should Fight For The Man and to hell with developing a life or personality outside of what has been written for her. The rest of the main 5 were 2 note characters which. Could be worse? The most interesting character ends up being the child genius who accidentally murdered her childhood bestie (and/or lover? depending on version) and her coming to terms with that (the friend is alive but the version changes how and why she thinks she’s dead). Then the villain has the motivation of ‘i lost my creativity and now have become an immortal living outside of normal space and am getting girls to fight each other because that’s like a story so I’m still relevant right?’. But shoutout to the anime for then taking death of the author literally. The numerous other girls are canon fodder outside of like. The manga version of the dead gf and the little match girl.

~Battle Royale: This is not a thing I have an issue with generally. Again, but Mai Hime fan, I need to read MGRP 11, BUT by not developing the non-main girls there is no emotional connection which makes them just canon fodder and that’s boring as sin for a royale system. The initial main character fights revolve so much around the MC guy being there that they fall flat, and the 2 or 3 final battles in both versions still feel without any stakes. Also for a royale thing most of the characters don’t actually die, which cool! Neat! Except when they do? Some nobodies and a somebody are murdered (at least in the manga) and the tone never feels like it’s supposed to be upping the stakes, it’s just. Some people are dead now. And do you want to guess which of the main characters died?

~Gays: Oh boy the best friend of the brother-complex sister is in love with her and (in the manga) dies. She does apparently get better for the last chapter but the death itself is only felt by the rest of the cast for a page or two before we go back to feeling sad big brother wants to kiss his mentally generated sister clone rather than his actual sister u_u. Bury your gays is nothing new, but I wonder if it was also intended to be justified because Guess Who Is Creepy and a bit Perverted? Oh look the lesbian keeps the used swimsuit of her beloved and manipulates events to get an indirect kiss and when she sees the sister trying to strange Arisu for a moment she decides to do it for the sister? It’s not good. You want bad gay rep in a magical girl series, well here ya go. We also had a nobody in the first(second?) episode whose story pages reveal her having a kiss with a girl, and then we also have the prodigy again and- in the manga- her. Uh. childhood lover who she thought she killed but the girl has been wiping her mind over and over so prodigy remembers ‘killing’ the friend and not the she’s alive so she can keep? fucking with her? Toxic!

~Sexual Content: But wait you say, you already covered fanservice! Ah but that is sexual content for titilation. This is sexual content for dramatic backstory! The red riding hood character was sexually assaulted, another character was manipulated into sex first as a teen and then more often to ‘get into the publishing industry’, and the same writer forces some aggressive kisses on the MC. None of it is gratuitous which is nice, but also, was it necessary? Not making a new point for this but read riding hood’s dog was also murdered so unnecessary animal death gets tossed on in there. 

~Male Lead: You can have a male, non magical character as the main character surrounded by magical girls. This is not how to do it. If I can make a vicious and hopefully not understood reference, Aruto is basically Tate from the Mai Hime Manga. If you understood that, I am so sorry. If you didn’t, congrats! Don’t read the manga. Or do and send me asks about the iconic final page of the first volume (18+). Anyway, this dude is boring, everything revolves around him, BUT I’ll be generous and say at least this isn’t a harem series? It looks like it out of context but it’s just a triangle with a fun attached scientist and token lesbian.

~Premise: They didn’t make good use of it. The initial goals of ‘take other girls pages from their soul books because if we get enough we unlock a third alice book’ is good! And then we add the twist that that was never going to happen and either if we get all the pages we can grant a wish, or these fights are just happening for the amusement of and asshole. Either way, yeah okay I guess. But at no point do we ever achieve this forbidden wish granting book and the asshole just. Lives. Nothing happens to him. His peers don’t even dunk on him. The only real changes from the beginning and the end of the series are: the siblings are now chill with dating, and the scientist lady won’t turn into a child in magical spaces. Oh. Yeah.

~Why did we make this adult a child sometimes?: I think we know why. Stop trying to get those types of folks to watch your already meh series. I also could have sworn at points in the past looking up images for this series I’ve seen extra art for Yuuri the Thumbelina-y Alice User that seemed like it would fit alongside anything by POP. You know, the Moetan guy. If you don’t know, god I wish that were me. 

Wrap Up: I have definitely forgotten some points and am well within my rights to ad to this whenever I remember more points but uh. Yeah.  

Listen you want an alice themed battle royale with nice outfits? Rozen maiden is right there. Battle Royale magical girl series that’s good with fanservice? Mai Hime. Series with different outfits while being based on a classic story? Pretear.

Hope anyone who read all of this at least got what I was saying, even if they don’t agree with it. And thanks for reading because whoops. 

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto - Part Five - Orientation

Prologue 1. Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 2. Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 3. Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 4. Arrival - Bit 1 | Bit 2 5. Orientation

Things actually start happening now :D

As always, many, many thanks to @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ @janetm74​ and @onereyofstarlight​ for all their amazing help. We’re deep into the hard slog now, but I am still enjoying this so that is a good sign :D

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this and cheer me on. The hard slog of the middle of a long fic can be as bad as the hard slog in the middle of a painting, so all cheering is always welcome. But ultimately, I’m hoping you are find this enjoyable and not boring :D Nutty is learning here, so big L plate on my forehead.

Let the antics continue.

-o-o-o-

Virgil stared at his father’s broad back as he walked the length of the gantry toward the elevator. Scott paused a moment and Virgil placed a hand on his back in support. Muscle beneath many micro layers of spacesuit rippled as his brother loosened his shoulders. A glance of fiery blue and Scott followed his father.

As was the way of things.

Virgil followed Scott.

As was the way of things.

The cavern was a large one. It had to be to fit Three beneath its airlock doors. His heads up display confirmed pressurisation of the bay to Earth normal and his mind did the calculations on the infrastructure required to pump that much atmosphere into such a large space so quickly. He couldn’t help but be impressed.

The gantry led to an elevator platform and they crowded onto it. Gordon brushed up against him as if to catch his attention and a worried frown was shot in Virgil’s direction.

As the gantry retracted and the platform lowered, Virgil let a hand brush against Gordon’s side. If he did the same to Alan, well, they were his brothers and he may have needed the connections a little himself.

The ride down gave them a great view of the heavy equipment available in the bay. Virgil had accessed all the information he could get his hands on during the trip out, needing to know how he was going to deploy their own equipment.

He had known this was going to be an underground job and had packed accordingly. The problem with underground was initial deployment - how to get the equipment under the ground.

The backup was always to make their own holes. But that could be unnecessarily messy and a last resort. So Virgil was quite happy to see the set up included all the heavy-duty crane and hover support he could ever want.

TI had equipped this expedition exceedingly well.

Walters met them at the bottom of the bay. The rock had been ground smooth down here, filler shone in places where ice had obviously been removed, making the floor a patchwork of white and dark grey, human ingenuity and raw moon.

The Commander nodded to Scott, but it was their father whose hand he grasped solidly before pulling him into a hug. “Space Jockey, it is so good to see you. Thank you for coming.” Walters stepped back and held Jeff at arms’ length. “You’ve gone grey.”

“And you’re bald. Your point?” But their father was grinning through the plasiglass of his helmet.

“We’re both a little crunchy around the edges.” He turned to Lee. “Hey, Scrappy.”

“Graeme, I may be old, but I can still kick your ass over that.” Despite the threat, Uncle Lee grabbed the man’s hand and shook it with enthusiasm.

“These are my boys.” Dad gestured at them in turn. “Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Alan. John is still aboard the Excel and will be liaising from there.”

Walters nodded at each of them in turn, his white-grey spacesuit wrinkling with the movement. He had his helmet on just like the IR crew did. Best chance to avoid contamination or some random bug the Tracys might had inadvertently brought with them.

Of course, Virgil and John had run the decon protocols before departure and it was obvious Callisto had its own methods, but the risk was there. Helmets on unless they had no choice.

Another thing about space that was annoying - listening to your own breathing in a confined container. Okay for short term, total annoyance long term. Especially if your nose got itchy.

It was a sign that Virgil really needed more sleep when he managed to miss a chunk of what Walters was saying simply because he was designing an in-helmet nose scratcher in his head. Well, it could be multifunctional if he gave it enough reach. Head scratcher, chin scratcher-

Gordon nudged him.

Unfortunately, right in his bruises. “Ow.” He glared at his brother only to find the fish gesturing with his eyes.

Commander Walters was looking at Virgil with a question on his face. Both Scott and Dad were frowning at him. Oh shit. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“The Commander asked if we would like to survey the entrance to the caves first or deploy our equipment.” Dad’s voice was very...patient. “Scott said it was your decision.”

Virgil didn’t hesitate, regardless of the embarrassment. “I’ve scoured your maps, Commander, but I would be happier if you could show us the entrance to the cave network. It’s not far?” maps and diagrams were one thing. Reality was another.

Walters eyed him a little curiously. “Sure. Follow me.” And he led them towards a set of massive doors.

For a moment there, Virgil expected some grinding machinery to split the doors wide like some grand movie entrance complete with cinematic music, but no, Walters led them to a small airlock embedded in the left door and ushered them through.

It was kind of disappointing actually.

“We keep the Garden isolated as a precaution and as a way to monitor the function of the ecosystem.

“Garden?” Alan had obviously not had time to fully read up on the Base like the rest of them.

Walters’ eyes lit up despite everything. “You are in for a treat. The Garden is our horticultural team’s ultimate triumph.”

The doors opened and sunlight flooded into the airlock. And it was sunlight enough for Virgil’s jaw to drop. They stepped out into an environment so familiar, they may as well have stepped out the back door of the villa.

Except it wasn’t. The plants were recognisable, yes, but their growth most definitely was not.

This was not in the briefing notes.

“This looks suspiciously familiar.” It was Gordon who stepped to the front of the group.

Walters frowned. “Excuse me.”

Gordon’s eyes narrowed in on the man. He pointed at a nearby tree. “Pokey trees don’t get that big in five years, Commander. What’s in the water?”

It was Walters’ turn to frown. “Pokey trees?” A blink. “Oh, pohutukawa. No, they do not. However, with some special treatment and the lack of strong gravity, they can.”

Virgil stared up at the giant tree. It was far too thin at the base for the spread of the massive branches and it seem wrong somehow. Everything was too long and looked as if it was going to fall. What was even more odd was the sound of a honeyeater argument in those branches. A scuffle, a ruckus of squawks and a flash of grey and yellow flew out from amongst the leaves and darted over the rocky hill in front of them.

“You have birds?!” Gordon sounded caught between amazement and outrage.

Walters stared at him a moment longer. “We have much more than that.” He turned away and led them away from the tree and up a winding path. Virgil’s boots crunched gravel that glittered as it moved. He frowned at what was probably nothing more than ground up moon. It was pale and sparkling like some set prop out of an early science fiction show John might have watched.

But he was soon distracted by much more fascinating sights.

The path led up a small hill and soon he realised that they were in a massive cavern, bigger than all the hangars beneath Tracy Island combined.

And it was full of life.

Birds of several different kinds flew about the ‘sky’. A sky dominated by a number of extremely bright lights hanging from a ceiling so high it couldn’t be seen for the brilliance. Oddly growing foliage was everywhere. The lone pokey tree by the door was scarlet in blossom, but it was not alone. Flowers sprouted from wonky stems and too tall grass. The little hill they were standing on was the highest point in the cavern, the ground sloping down into the distance. At the far edge, a lake had ducks swimming in it.

“How the hell?” It was Gordon, but Virgil’s questions were not far behind.

Several physical requirements clicked into place. The cavern was obviously heated and pressurised with an Earth level atmosphere just like the hangar, otherwise those birds wouldn’t be able to fly beyond bouncing in the gravity.

While Gordon’s head seemed ready to explode, Virgil managed one word. “How?”

Walters had a quietly confident smirk on his face. “A combination of research, applied science and a whole pile of luck.” A sigh. “This is Ju’s baby.”

Scott shifted where he stood. “Where is the access to the cave network?” Virgil glanced at his brother. There was an intensity in his eyes that spoke of both mission urgency and further questions that would need asking once that mission was complete.

Walters exhaled and nodded. “This way.” He led them down the other side of the hill to what eventually proved to be another set of massive doors. “The caverns were here when we arrived. We knew of them before we left Earth, but what we did not realise was their extent.” Walters stopped in front of the doors. He gestured at the cavern. “To create all this, we only needed to seal the cavern entrance overhead – which the Base did nicely. We installed a series of atmospheric inducers, the heating and the lighting. The rest we grew from seed or egg.” The man was obviously proud of their achievements.

“Sir, the caves?” Scott was getting rightfully impatient.

“Yes. Yes, you’re right.” He swallowed and hurried over to yet another small door within a door.

Virgil took another step forward, intending on seeing how the door was unlocked when his world suddenly doubled. His stomach rolled over with that familiar nausea ever so reminiscent of their trip out here.

He swallowed and closed his eyes a second.

“Virg? You okay?” Gordon was whispering on a closed channel.

Virgil cranked his eyes open, lack of sleep suddenly piling on top of him. His fish brother was frowning at him. Scott, their father and Uncle Lee were walking towards Walters and the door.

The sudden vertigo had him fearing an incident inside his helmet.

But then as he took a step towards Gordon, the nausea faded away, a single last cramp dissipating as his little brother approached and put a hand on his arm.

“Virg?”

“I’m okay. Just felt dizzy for a second there.”

“T-drive?”

“Probably.”

“Meds wearing off?”

“Didn’t think I would need them.”

Now Alan had stopped following Scott and was looking back. Any minute now and he would have not only Scott on his ass, but Dad as well. He straightened his spine. “I’m good.” But whatever it was had triggered the beginnings of a headache.

Damn.

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d completed a rescue with a headache. He’d throw back some paracetamol when they went back to Three to source their equipment.

“You sure?”

“I said so, didn’t I?”

Gordon held up his hands. “Just checking, bro. Don’t get your pants in a twist. Hard to unknot them out here.”

But Gordon was still frowning at him.

Alan was turning back...

Move or get smothered.

He flexed his shoulders and strode off to join the rest of this family.

-o-o-o-

Gordon stared after his heavy lifting brother.

Damn that T-drive. His own stomach hadn’t fully recovered either and Virgil was obviously still feeling it.

Gordon pondered whether Virg could knock him out for the voyage home. Maybe knock both of them out.

Alan was frowning and gesturing for him to hurry up. Scott and Dad had already entered what turned out to be yet another airlock.

Space was hard work.

He kicked at the gravel as he trotted after his brother and darted into the huge airlock with his brothers.

Walters was talking again as he sealed the door behind them. “The cavern appears to have been a terminus for this branch of the cave network.” Walters should seek a job as a tour guide. “As I said earlier, we knew about some of the caves before we arrived, but it became increasingly clear that our sensors weren’t telling the full story when we discovered exactly how many tunnels are under the surface here.”

Gordon felt the room depressurise and his HUD declared the atmosphere had become almost nothing. He frowned. It was still something though and he remembered that Callisto was one of those odd places that had the bare minimum of a bunch of gases clinging to it.

He was pretty sure that if he pinged Johnny, he could give him an essay on it, Jupiter luny fan he was.

Walters opened the other side of the airlock and led them through.

Oh, wow.

They were once again in a cavern, a smaller one to the one they had just left and it was obviously more in its natural state. The big doors were sealed into one wall and a lighting system had been deployed running off into the distance.

And there was a lot of distance. The cavern was definitely a tunnel, a good twenty metres wide and high. But that wasn’t all that had his jaw dropping.

The walls were sparkling in the light.

Walters must have seen his reaction or the reaction of his family. “Pretty amazing, huh? The walls are full of a mix of ice and rock. The ice catches the light, but there is also an unusual amount of mineralised crystal as well. We’ve found several types of quartz along with precious metals.”

Gordon was only half listening to him. He wandered over to the nearest wall and examined it. Ice. Water. But in a way it was rarely seen on Earth. Kinda interesting. He ran a hand over the wall and frowned. “You say this is natural?”

“Other than stringing up the lights and installing the doors, from here on, it is pure Callisto.”

“This was made by running water.” Even Gordon knew how impossible that was in the current environment. He looked up to find everyone staring at him. “Hey, I know my element when I see it. This wall has been eroded by running water.”

Walters slumped just a little. “Thank you. Ju has been saying that since we got here. Unfortunately, we can’t work out how that can possibly be a thing, but yeah, all the tunnels, if we were on Earth? Water made. Like limestone caves apparently.” A snort. “Ju has been very adamant about it.”

“Have you reported this?” Dad’s voice startled Gordon a little.

“Reported? Sure. But all her peers are less than accepting. All signs point to Callisto as having had no crustal movement since it formed, minor atmosphere, and certainly no running water at these pressures.”

“But this is a fact.” Gordon frowned again. “What about the reports of an ocean on Callisto under the crust.” Yes, he had checked that out. This wasn’t his first Jovian moon after all. It was why he had brought Four with him.

“Too far down. We can’t reach it. And besides, it is impossible for water to exist as a liquid on the surface, there is not enough atmospheric pressure. We’re barely five hundred metres down here. We haven’t been able to explain it, and until we do, it is considered only one possible and likely doubtful explanation.”

Gordon turned back to the wall. It glittered at him as if daring him to discover its mysteries. “Virg?”

“Hmm?” His brother’s voice was distracted enough to distract Gordon. He flicked over to a private comm. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Gordon. What did you want?”

Gordon grunted. “You got something to test the rocks?”

“If needs be. We have a rescue to complete first.” Virgil killed the private line and turned to Walters. “I’m satisfied. Scott, we need some recon. I recommend we get two dragonflies down here.”

Scott nodded. “Okay, we are go. Alan, you’re with me. Gordon, you’re Virgil’s wingman.”

As it should be.

Besides, Gordon wanted to keep an eye on their resident lumberjack. He was acting weird.

“Dad, you and Uncle Lee are our liaisons with Base.”

Gordon bit his lip.

“Scott-“

The Commander of International Rescue held up his hand, fire in his eyes. “No, arguments.”

Dad’s eyes latched onto Scott and flared, but Uncle Lee grabbed his arm. “Space Jockey...”

Grey eyes flickered to his best friend and got a dose of determined Lee Taylor for the effort.

Their father’s lips thinned as nobody moved for a whole moment, Scott emanating commander vibes all over the cavern. If Dad didn’t obey, all hell was going to let loose.

“Thunderbird Five to Callisto.” John’s voice echoed over multiple comms, a faint and unfamiliar hiss and crackle in the background.

The moment snapped and Scott tapped his comms. “We read you, Thunderbird Five.”

“There is considerable interference on comms, you should be aware. I cannot guarantee service at all times. Source is unknown.”

“Noted.”

Damn, that was going to make this even more difficult. They could get lost down here themselves.

But then this wouldn’t be the first time Gordon had worked without contact with his brothers.

First time in space, though.

“Scott, we have located two life signs.”

“What?!” Walters took a step forward and looked ready to climb into Scott’s commset to get further information.

The commander ignored him. “Details, Thunderbird Five.”

“Eos and I were able to work around the majority of the interference and we have two faint lifesigns registering to the north of Callisto Base, almost directly under Burr crater.”

“Only Two? We have five missing persons, Thunderbird Five.”

“I know, Scott.” John’s voice was calm but sad. “Eos is still working on that interference, but at this point I don’t expect to find more. We’ve been able to map the caverns and tunnels within a thousand-kilometre radius. Sending the data to your comms now. Other than those two, I’m reading nothing. I do not have enough resolution to locate anything more specific.”

Like dead bodies.

All of them shifted where they stood, caught between the positive of a location and the negative of three missing rescuees.

“Keep looking, Thunderbird Five.” Scott’s voice was empty of emotion.

They had a mission and now they had a target.

“FAB.”

The line cut out.

Virgil had already pulled up the map John supplied on his wrist ‘projector, his eyes combing the holographic maze of tunnels. Even from here Gordon could see they were massive. If these had been eroded by water, the rivers had been big.

But their history would have to wait. There were lives at stake and Scott was already moving back to the airlock, Virgil and the rest of the group hurrying to follow.

Gordon hesitated just a second, lured by the thought of water flowing through the rock in such a low-pressure environment that the liquid should be ice.

The walls sparkled at him.

But the mission...

He took a step forward and his foot kicked something tiny that bounced ahead of him. Frowning, he bent to pick it up.

The crystal was no bigger than his fingernail and sparkled pink in the lighting.

“Gordon!” Scott was glaring at him from inside the airlock.

The aquanaut shoved the stone into his kit and hurried to catch up.

Perhaps space was a little more interesting than he thought.

-o-o-o-

Next

[pocketramblr]

im going to be so fucking predictable right now but, for a prompt... how about some momnight

 I'm going to do my Very Best at this though I am very unpracticed with writing her so here we go!

---

"Alright, class. Today we're supposed to do a lesson that follows up on the interviews you did yesterday with Midnight and Mt. Lady. Which means I'm not teaching."

With that, Aizawa-sensei flopped to the ground. The thud was only slightly cushioned by the sleeping bag around him. A few students winced.

"Exactly!" Midnight said, shoving open the door. "This time, we'll be practicing a little more with cameras and a little less with talking."

Oh? The students all leaned in, curious and excited.

"We'll be practicing photo shoots! Come to studio 1-4, come on." She stepped to the side as the class got excited, and just waved Aoyama out the door when he jumped to go ask her a million questions, sparkling.

Toru was excited too, though she took more time to stand than the others. By the time she had, Yaomomo had already dragged the reluctant Jiro out of the room, and all that remained were Bakugo and Koda.

"Not going to be the last one there, I hope, Bakugo?" Midnight asked, tone of voice edging into a tease.

Bakugo grumbled about it being stupid, but he did hurry more out the door.

"And you, Koda? Nothing to be scared about, the camera doesn't bite." But their teachers sure might, if they dawdled- or interrupted anymore of Aizawa's extended naptime.

"Right!" Toru agreed, skipping to the back of the room to reach for the boy's arm. "Come on, it'll be a fun lesson! Better than a pop quiz, and maybe you'll even get to do a cute picture, like holding a bunny!"

Koda stared at her sleeve for a long moment, then finally nodded.

When they passed Midnight at the door, Toru looked up and realized the woman's smile had slipped a little; she looked thoughtful, brow furrowed behind her glasses.

The smile came back quickly though, as she tugged the door closed behind them and hurried them to the studio where the class was waiting for them.

Haya-senpai was also waiting for them, apparently. The cool girl stood in front of a group of third years by the side wall of the room, where several desks and mirrors and lights had been shoved in a row. The rest of the room was cleared out, backdrops and green screens angled around with a few stools and props.

"Alright, class 1a, before we get ready for your first shoot, there are some things to know." Midnight closed the door behind her. "You can take notes on your phone, if you want. There are several different kinds of photoshoots. What ones can you think of?"

"Ooh!" Mina waved her hand and was called on. "There's magazine photoshoots, and if you're lucky you'll be on the front page!"

"Certainly, magazine shoots. What else- Yaoyorozu?"

"Advertisements, with products?"

"Very good, you've done some of that already, haven't you? Alright, what other kinds?"

Toru waved her arm, humming so she'd be more noticed. Midnight crooked her finger at her. "Makeup? Well I guess that could be a product too, but there's also fashion shoots."

"Right on, Hagakure."

The class was quiet for a few moments, and Midnight nodded. "There's other kinds too- a headshot shoot, some hero agencies will require them for an application or their site. Portraits, lifestyle, sports, glamor, portfolio- the point is, there’s different types, and different points to each of them.”

Tsuyu raised a hand, and got a nod. “Midnight, all the different types, but don’t they boil down to either work use- like the headshots- or publicity for everything else?”

“That’s not a bad way of looking at it, Asui,” The teacher tapper her cheek as she paused, “But there’s more than that. You could also be doing it for benefit of others, either like a charity calendar photos, or perhaps even as a favor for a friend if one of them asks for a photo op.”

“And if,” Bakugo spoke up, apparently at the end of his patience for waiting for an explanation, “we don’t care about that crap? Publicity? If we haven’t got any friends who just want to take pictures of us?”

Midnight’s smile stretched, just a little, like a smirk. “Not a bad question. Anyone else think they have an answer?”

No one spoke, looking at each other, then Iida raised his hand.

“Midnight-sensei! Regardless of wanting to do publicity or charity or not, an agency may require to and all parts of a hero career should be done as exactly as one can, whether or not you want to-”

Midnight coughed. “Not bad, Iida, but not what I was thinking of. Bakugo, everyone, consider it like this. Once you become a hero- before that, even- you are going to have publicity. You are going to have paparazzi. Your photos are going to end up in ragmags no matter what you do.” She emphasized those words with a tap from her whip to her palm. “But, you can decide how you present yourself in other media. Sure, you can go way underground like Eraser. Or, you can take control of your representation. Choose your own photographers, magazines, products, vlogs, anything. That’s why you have to learn how to do these photoshoots and other media courses.” She clapped her hands, and the third years jumped. “So, we start with makeup.”

The older students waved some of her classmates forward, and Toru pushed Koda forward so he’d sit.

She found herself watching them get makeup put on, holding Iida’s glasses for him while Haya mused with his hair. Next to him, a senior was marking lines under Uraraka’s eyes to make the lashes pop.

“That looks really cute!”

“Thanks!”

“Do you mind me using a bit more foundation here?” Another senior said, poking at Midoriya. “It’s not quite even, but some of your freckles are showing through still.”

“Uhh,” Midori said, eloquently. 

The older student raised his eyebrow. 

“Um, actually, its,”

“It’s what, Midoriya?” Midnight asked, stepping from out of nowhere to peer over his shoulder at his mirror.

“It’s fine!” The makeup didn’t completely hide how red his face went.

Their teacher met his gaze in the reflection, clicking her tongue. “Come on, what did I say the point of the lesson was?”

“Um, control?” Midoriya asked, then went “Oh.”

Midnight smiled, straightening back up.

“I’d like my freckles to be- to not be covered up. Please.” Midoriya was still red, but the senior just shrugged.

“Alright. I’ll darken them with this then instead, so they actually show well under the lights and all that.”

He nodded, relaxing back in his seat, and Midnight squeezed his shoulder before moving on, nodding at Iida before looking at her.

“Hagakure, you haven’t gotten someone to start makeup yet?”

Toru shook her head- and shoulders. “No, Sensei. It’s not like I’ll show up on camera anyway, so.” She kept her voice cheerful, but her smile faltered halfway through.

It was fun to watch everyone else get dolled up and decorated... but would probably be fun if she could join them too.

Midnight stared at her, and she couldn’t read the expression before the teacher shook her head. “No, no. You’ll still have to participate and I have an idea!” She took Toru’s hand, then led her to the seat next to Uraraka.

Toru couldn’t keep the startled giggle from bubbling up as she sat.

“Midoriya,” Midnight said, riffling through the makeup on the desk, “You heard Hagakure. What do you think she could do in a photoshoot like this?”

“Hm.” Midoriya considered it, but when he answered he sounded much more confident than he had earlier. “Well, she’s invisible, but anything on her wouldn’t be. You could play with elements like dust or sparkles to suggest shape in an interesting way- oh, if you don’t mind being in your hero suit, that is.”

Midnight hummed an affirmation. “There’s a lot you and your team could do with that, and body paint is a fun medium to work with.” She paused, then leveled an eyeshadow brush at Toru like it was her whip. “Only when you’re eighteen, though. What do you think, Uraraka?”

“You could use your quirk, you know, to shine?” The brunette waved a hand. “Lighting up in different places to outline you, maybe, it’d look really cool if you had a space-y dress or something with it.”

“Oooh,” Toru had to admit that would be fun. It’d need a dark background and probably a camera without a flash or something, but it would be a picture of her, using her own quirk.

“Or like, even a space suit or something alien!”

“As long as I don’t upstage Mina!”

Midnight decided on something, then turned back with a nod, eyes sparkling. “Those are good ideas. Now, I’m going to try something with eyeshadow on you. Tell me when your eyes are closed.”

Toru closed her eyes as asked. “They are now, Midnight.”

If the point of this lesson was control, she wasn’t quite sure that this counted since she was just letting someone else do it, but Toru didn’t mind. She had a couple new ideas bouncing around for real photoshoots, in the future, and she really wanted to see what her teacher came up with.

She’d been right, this was fun.

It tickled a little, when Midnight traced eyeliner all on the sides of her face, but Toru managed to keep her face still enough. Then came brushes and colors she couldn’t see, shapes she could feel but not recognize.

Finally, the touches to her face stopped and she heard the brush clatter on the table.

“You can open your eyes now.” Midnight said, moving out of the way between the chair and the mirror. 

Toru gasped, then stood so she could lean closer to her reflection.

Her teacher had painted elaborate designs over both her eyes, branching out like butterfly wings. They shimmered with many neutral tones, light and brown and pink between the black lines. A few sparkles were touched heavier on the ends, and overall they looked beautiful.

“Oh! Guys, look!” Toru turned, and Uraraka gasped too, clapping.

“Those look so pretty!”

“Right? Thank you so much, Midnight-sensei!”

The hero laughed, waving a hand. “You’re very welcome. You’ll have to work with the photographer to decide how to model it on your own though. Speaking of...” She checked the clock on the wall. “Fifteen minutes left! Get to pictures then washing off.”

She walked off down the row again, checking on the other students, though not before she squeezed Toru’s shoulder for a second when she passed.

Toru was beaming as she asked for a senior with a camera to work with her, and she ended up with a picture of herself winking- one eye open to show the full butterfly, the other closed to show the colors swirled on the eyelid too. 

It looked pretty, and it looked fun. It felt like a perfect picture.

[toomanyfandoms02]

Tension // Spencer Reid x Reader

A blurb request for @emo---tional ! This is a bit longer than a blurb though OOPS AGAIN.

Summary - Reader and Spencer aren't exactly the nicest to eachother, but that all changes on a jet ride home.

Word Count - 1.2k (ITS 1.2K EXACTLY IM SO PROUD!)

Prompts - "Do you think you could just go ONE day without pissing me off?" -- "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

It was normal for this tension to be floating in a room when it was just me and Spencer.

Emily called it *sexual* tension, but I knew that was bullshit.

We remained at a precinct in San Francisco, California. We had just finished a case and the others had gone out to get a drink as a celebration. The jet wasn't able to come until tomorrow because of some fuel difficulties, so we were staying in a hotel for the night. Dr. Reid and I decided to stay here and get a head start on paperwork.

I sat criss-crossed in my chair, bent over a small stack of paperwork that was clipped onto a clip board. My pen scrawled across the page violently.

"You know you really shouldn't slouch like that." Spencer commented, tipping his chair back onto two legs.

"And you really shouldn't tip your chair back, you could crack your head open." He then continued as if I had said nothing, per usual.

"The slouching position puts pressure on your bones, thereby causing discs to become compressed and making you vulnerable to back pain. Also, it causes your pelvic muscles to go slack, which makes it progressively harder to support a well-aligned stance. Not that you have one in the first place." He mumbled the last part, returning to his paperwork.

"Do you think you could just go *one* day without pissing me off? Is it that hard to just keep your genius mouth shut? Or is that the only thing you never learned?" I snapped, throwing my pen on the table and standing from my seat. "I'm gonna go drink with the team. You should probably stay here and think of another smartass thing to say to me next time we're near eachother." I slammed the conference room door and headed to the entrance. The office lady Linda waved sympathetically at me as I left, I gave her a kind smile.

The moment I entered my car I set my head lightly on the steering wheel.

*Why is he such an asshole to me?*

*What even is this feud we have going on?*

I rolled my eyes at the thought. There was no use even questioning it, neither of us had an answer.

I started up my car and drove to the bar the team mentioned. I just needed something to loosen me up. He really knew how to grind my gears, and I was about at the end of my rope.

-

The jet finally arrived at 5 am. I hadn't been able to fall asleep until about 1 so I wasn't particularly in a great mood. My suitcase rolled loudly behind me on the runway. Just as I was about to the steps, Spencer had caught up to me.

"Someone looks like they got a lot of sleep last night." He raised his eyebrows and lightly pointed and rubbed under his eyes, silently stating that I had bags under my eyes. I wasn't in the mood so I didn't say anything back, I could feel my eye twitch in annoyance and my nostrils flare. I stomped my way onto the jet without a word. My bag was thrown near the couch and I plopped onto it. Time for a 4 hour ride home.

My eyes slid shut easily and I drifted to sleep.

-

Apperantly my body didn't want me to sleep, because here I was, just two hours later.

Wide awake.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and adjusting them to the light. Everyone else was asleep, besides Spencer. He sat reading a book in the single facing chairs that were across from the couch.

I willed my legs to stand and take me the the back room for some coffee. I poured my copious amounts of sugar and cream in and headed back out to the couch.

"Yeah, that'll help you fall asleep." Spencer didn't even look up from his book to make the snide comment, just flipping mindlessly through the pages. I opted to not answer again, just rolling my eyes and sitting on the couch again. "What? No witty comment back?" My eyes were glued to the brown liquid that swished in the mug. I glanced at him, then back at the mug, barely acknowledging him. I could feel his eyes on me still.

"Do you need something?" My voice came out as exhausted as possible while I finally made eye contact with him. He stood from his spot, bringing himself next to me.

"You seem off." His shoulder bumped with mine as he sat. I just shrugged in response, my eyes remaining forward as I sipped my coffee.

"I'm fine." I turned my head to look at him, realizing just how close we were. Our noses were nearly touching. I could feel my cheeks heating up, so I whipped my head forward again and brought my mug to my lips. Hoping he wouldn't notice.

But of course he did.

"Is there a reason you're blushing like that?" His question came out so quiet. I was 100% sure that I was the only one that would hear it, even if the rest of the team was wide awake.

"I don't know what you're talking about." My voice was muffled by my navy blue mug, which I set on the table immediatly after, blush free. A hand was brought under my chin, forcing me to face him.

"Really? Because I definitely saw it." He teased. I shrugged once again, trying to come across as unbothered but I truly just wanted to kiss him right now.

But that was crazy.

*Right?*

Regardless of my thoughts, I felt myself leaning in, a sense of relief washing over me as I saw he was too. I put my hand on his chest as our lips met. His thumb stroked my cheek softly.

I had never felt a kiss like that before. It felt like a heated blanket on a winter night. Or when your mom would bring you tea when you were sick. It felt like the suns soft rays on your shoulders on an early spring morning.

It was so *warm*.

I pulled away to get some air.

"I'm sorry." He put his head on my shoulder.

"No! Don't be, I wanted to-"

"No, I'm sorry for being so rude to you all the time. It's very uncalled for. The only reason I started doing that was because I thought you didn't like me, even in a friendly way. So I wanted to beat you to the punch." He set his head on my shoulder, laughing a bit. "Sounds so stupid now."

"Do you think we should keep the whole charade up in front of the team? Just for fun?" I raised an eyebrow at him with a playful smile.

"Does that mean you want to continue this?" He asked with a tilt of the head.

"Obviously." A soft giggle erupted from my lips.

"Sounds like fun." He pulled me in for another kiss. "But we better stop before they start passing around betting money, I heard them talking about it last week." I pushed his chest a bit.

*This should be fun*

[petri808]

Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

“How are you holding up son, are you eating enough food? You need to keep up your strength.” Mitsuki Bakugou questioned through the phone when her son called to give her an update.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I am! And, um, thanks for the money you put in my account,” Bakugou mumbled his appreciation.

“It’s from us, Inko, and All Might— actually he’s been putting up the bulk of it. We’re all hoping you find Izuku soon, but until then we’ll make sure you have what you need, just bring him home.”

“I’m working on it. Bastard’s not making it easy, but at least the damn authorities haven’t picked up on the trail yet.” It was a good thing, because Bakugou didn’t need them scaring Midoriya further away.

“You’re like a dog with a bone when you put your mind to something, so I know you’ll find a way.”

“I can’t believe you just equated me to a dog!”

“Oh, bite your tongue boy! It’s an expression!”

“Yeah, yeah. I better go, the train’s here.” He could see it pulling into Kawaji station.

“Are you still not gonna tell us where you are?”

“Nope. He moves around a lot anyways. Just know we haven’t left Honshu.”

“Alright. Good luck son. I’ll pass on your update to Inko and All Might.”

This game of hide and seek was physically wearing on Bakugou, but there was nothing short of a full incapacitation that would keep him from searching. After the Ena incident, Midoriya’s tactics had changed somewhat. The man moved more frequently and, in a zigzag, whereas in the past it had been heading in a straight line towards Shizuoka to the southwest. But there was one thing Midoriya couldn’t hide— victims. It didn’t take a genius to put the pieces together.

There were still times victims were drained, but not all of them. Bakugou surmised in order to not leave them fully incapacitated like before, his friend wasn’t always waiting until he was hungry, or he hadn’t learned to control it yet. He probably fed almost nightly, picking drunkards who wouldn’t remember what happened, and even less likely to report the incident. But less reports made it harder to track, and less blood also forced Midoriya to drink more often. Bakugou hoped that with shorter times between attacks, the man would get sloppy and make a mistake.

There were a lot of small towns all over, including abandoned structures from older times. Plenty of places to hide, not to mention dense forests and the mountainous terrain of central Japan that a person could disappear in. When tracking a lack of victim reports grew frustrating, Bakugou started looking for other clues, and in one town, a perceptive police officer commented about thefts he’d been hearing about from the surrounding areas. Random stores or restaurants, even some homes reporting the theft of food, sometimes clothing, basically survival type supplies but no valuables, which are not the norm of a burglary. It was brilliant.

Bakugou had thanked the officer for the information and immediately began inquiring in towns and watching newspapers where they were having both types of problems. It took almost a month, including a couple of near misses, until Bakugou knew he was closing in.

Local newspapers were reporting about unusual happenings in the smaller towns. In Ieyama city, high up in the mountains north of Shizuoka, Bakugou spoke with a police officer and confirmed a rash of strange incidents reported. Three burglaries of just food, one bath house broken into after closing, and a couple of reported attacks where the victims had marks on their necks. So far, Izuku’s new behaviors included sticking around the same area for about a week before moving on. With these latest cases only 3 days old in total, Bakugou knew they were a fresh lead.

“Yesterday, right?”

“Yes, the last burglary was in the afternoon while the homeowner was at work.” Using a paper map, the police officer showed Bakugou the location of the most recent burglary as well as two others over the last couple of days. It was very telling. The three places were centered around a 4-block radius. “If you are looking for hiding spots, there is an abandoned factory in that area. I’ll give you the address.”

“Thanks. I doubt they’d stay so close to the attack grounds, but I’ll check it out.” He didn’t want any of them following him.

It was still daylight, but Bakugou didn’t want to waste any time and risk his friend moving again after dark, heading straight for the dilapidated warehouse. The place looked like it had been emptied for a longtime. There was a rusted, chain link fence around the property, many broken windows, and weeds growing over the structure. Bakugou crept up to one of the windows, and heard nothing, so he moved slowly, quietly around the exterior paying close attention to any sounds or movements inside. But he heard nothing to indicate anything was there, not even an animal. Maybe it was another dead end, or maybe Midoriya was just sleeping. Un-phased, he moved inside the two-story building to make absolutely sure.

It took a while to search cautiously through the darkness, watching his step so not to step on anything or make a noise. The vastly open bottom floor was almost completely empty aside from a few left behind junk. So, Bakugou moved to the second floor where offices once were. Of all the areas, the top floor would provide the warmest cover, as well as quicker access to the roof. Like a trained tactical soldier, he cleared room after room, moving down the hallway that separated the individual offices, and one by one, eliminating them from the search. Finally, Bakugou reached the last one and heard the soft breathing of a sleeping person. Well, that meant two options, it’s just a homeless person or he’d finally caught his friend off guard.

Bakugou peered cautiously around the door frame. It was dark, but just enough light from a small window allowed his eyes to adjust quickly on a form lying down on the floor. Next to the person was a backpack, empty food containers strewn around, and possibly other items from the burglaries. There was also a make-shift hearth of broken bricks and a metal bowl with dark residue inside. He could even smell the light scent of soot mixed with burnt wood. ‘Gotcha!’ He smirked as he pocketed his flashlight and pulled out a special pair of handcuffs used to dampen quirks. It didn’t completely shut down a person’s quirk, but it kept them from using its full power. He was ready for Midoriya this time.

‘Almost there…’ he crept forward in a crouched manner ready to pounce like a predator stalking its prey in careful movements since he no longer had the flashlight out to see by. ‘Damn minefield,’ Bakugou grumbled as he navigated around the strewn mess of stuff the sleeping man had around him. ‘Almost there—'

*Crunch*

A piece of glass shattered below his boot, the sounds reverberating off the silent cement walls. “Shit!” Bakugou dove forward when Midoriya immediately popped up and tried to dash away. “Not this time nerd!”

“Waaahhhcchan!” Midoriya screamed as he was tackled to the floor. The two men fought, vying for footing, but the blonde kept them on the ground. Bakugou grabbed for and slapped one end of the handcuffs onto one of Midoriya’s wrists. “Nooo!” The man screamed.

“Not this time Deku! You ain’t getting away!”

Weakened by the cuff, Bakugou poured all his strength into jerking the disheveled man, flipping him onto his stomach, and tweaking his arm behind him into a wrist lock for leverage.

Midoriya screamed again from the pain, but nevertheless fought with all he had. Unfortunately, the cuffs were doing their job. “Please, Kacchan! Don’t do this!”

“Tough shit!” Bakugou snapped back and attached the other cuff to his own wrist. The effects would hamper them both, but “I dare you, nerd, you can’t beat me in a contemporary fight.” He was confident of such, having always been the physically stronger of the two regardless of quirk. “I’m taking you home!”

Midoriya wriggled, and tugged, but it was of no use. His friend had planted his feet, dropped his weight, and refused to budge. He didn’t want to risk exhausting himself and triggering a full-blown thirst like last time, so he stopped struggling.

After a few seconds, Bakugou got off the man and turned him over so he could sit up. Midoriya nursed his arm and rubbed at his wrist to soothe the pain. “Of course, I want to go home,” he sighed. “But it’s too dangerous Kacchan, why can’t you understand that?”

“Eri’s getting better every day, one day she’ll be able to control her quirk and fix you.”

“That’s not good enough. What are you gonna do, lock me up hoping she can fix me?! You saw what happened! Just like we eat food every day, I need blood, how are you gonna deal with that?!”

“Fine,” Bakugou shrugged, “we’ll hook you up to an IV and feed you blood when you need it.”

“No,” Midoriya started tugging again as tears flowed down his cheeks. “Please,” he begged, “this is too embarrassing, don’t you understand! I’ll never be able to be a hero again, my reputation will be ruined once everyone finds out! Hero society will look bad! It’s better I stay away!”

Frustrated with having his wrist yanked, Bakugou whipped his friend around and put him in a carotid choke hold. “Well, I’m not fucking leaving,” he spat, “so, we need to come up with a solution. Now stop fucking fighting me and get it through your head, the reality is I’m not going anywhere.”

Midoriya clawed at Bakugou’s arm trying to pull it away from his neck, but the man had it cinched in tight. If he kept struggling, he was bound to pass out. Exhausted, he finally relented and turned into a dead weight, sobbing quietly. “Why are you doing this, Kacchan… why?”

“Because a friend once told me I need to save to win, and right now you need to be saved for me to win.”

“Right? Win, I get it,” Midoriya narrowed his eyes along with tone. “This is an ego thing? You’ll take me back to show how you’re still better than me?” His heart didn’t believe those words, but as a coping mechanism, it did.

Bakugou let go of the man and shoved him so hard Midoriya face planted on the floor, stretching the handcuff chain to its limit. “I ought’a punch your lights out for saying that! I’m trying to win my friend back you asshole! You think I’d spend all this time chasing you if I didn’t care?!”

“Kacchan…” The man sighed and slowly propped himself back up. “There’s nowhere safe for me to go.”

Bakugou ignored the man and looked at his watch, noting the sun would have fully set by now. It might best to stay another night while he came up with a plan. “Tch, I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, behave or I will just knock you unconscious.”

“Fine, I won’t fight. But I do need to feed tonight.” Midoriya lifted his arm to flash the cuff. “Guess you’ll have to help me.”

“Why? You feeling the urge?” Midoriya nodded yes. “How can you tell?”

Midoriya thought about the answer for a minute before responding. “It’s like feeling dehydrated, maybe, at least in the beginning, but then it starts to get painful if I don’t feed it. I guess think of it like if you don’t eat for so long your stomach hurts— that’s what it’s like.”

“Sounds like it sucks.”

Midoriya snorted. “Understatement. It takes control of my mind by that point, almost as if it’s a survival instinct to protect itself.”

“Well, mister know it all. You ever heard of this kind of quirk before?”

“No,” Midoriya shook his head.

“Do the vestiges have anything to say about all this?”

Again, Midoriya shook his head.

Bakugou groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter for the current situation.” He looked up again fixing a stare at his friend. “So, what do you do to get the blood?”

[honeyjaez]

Y’all ready for my shitty opinion on the Introduction Kingdom performances that literally no one asked for?

I preface this by saying I love every single group equally and each of these groups (with the sad exception of iKON) I am a hard core fan of. But I also love practicing thinking subjectively and I pride myself on not being too biased when it comes to performances and Kpop, like I know how to understand sometimes my ult might not be the best vocally or whatnot. I like being unbiased with this. So without further ado.

This is not based on scores already known, just my own thoughts.

(And also like these ranking do not reflect my love for a group or if I think they are untalented because all these groups are so massively talented. but rankings have to happen right?  Like someones gotta be last but i don’t love them any less lol) 

6. Stray Kids (and this hurts as a Stray Kids Ult)

A group that I think really hurt with forced to having to perform the song that they did. (Their only other option was Back Door or levanter but it doesn’t really hit the same as Miroh so I understand why they chose it). The song is still my favorite title track by them (Also Im such a hoe for center Minho like....), but it’s SUCH a hard song to perform live. I remember all the issues they had during the era and still saw a lot of that here, more specifically with the insane rap parts. Its just not something easily done live (I say this like I know how to rap) but it doesn’t take a lot to realize that Changbin’s rap is so insanely fast (which props to him) that it can still be difficult for him. Also I think the backtrack of the song really hindered the performance. It was just too loud. Like you know those performances when you can really tell a group has some relying on the backtrack and others don’t? I have nothing wrong with lip synching, honestly, I could care less by it because I understand they are doing so much movement on stage that I couldn’t understand how to do both. But it takes away from the performance when you hear the difference in members performing live and those who are relying a bit more on it. Stray Kids are AMAZING performers and CAN sing/rap live. It was very cool though I guess with props but it was like they were trying to distract people from the lack of performance. I just think that having to perform Miroh (I know they didn’t get to pick really) was their downfall to me. But the outfits were cool! Regardless, they are still #1 in my heart and I look forward to the other performances!!!  But with more Seungmin!!!!!

6. ATEEZ

Next to The Boyz, I am most excited about seeing ATEEZ on Kingdom. One because Korea seriously needs to stop sleeping on them, but two because they are such intense and talented performers.  True to form they came in crashing! Unfortunately, the only reason they are so low is that there wasn’t anything that really made them stand out from the others to me. I do appreciate the classic ATEEZ intensity (but like also Hongjoong please don’t be all serious and death stare while suddenly saying Hakuna Matata, I couldn’t take it seriously). But the VOCALS win most intense which sells towards their performance. I appreciated Ateez so much for their intense singing (looking at you Seonghwa and Jongho). I do think that having to perform Wave didn’t really help them. (From my understanding is that MNET told them they had to perform a song that placed #1 which for them was only Wave, or Inception  which they already performed at MAMAs (we did Wonderland so dirty)) Not that I hate Wave (its actually my favorite title track by them) and I did enjoy the composition of this new darker Wave, but could you imagine if they had come in swinging with Pirate King or Wonderland? Hell fucking yes. Regardless, looking forward to see how they grow as the youngest group on there! I have nothing but high hopes for them!

4. SF9 

Now You guys know how much I love SF9. They are practically an unofficial ult group for me. But this is not based off song because I actually can’t stand Good Guy (I overplayed it when it came out and now I hate it (not really but ya know) ) I remember people saying SF9′s performance wasn’t really memorable, but I didn’t see that. I saw an idol group coming out for the first time to prove something and actually shocking me with how intense they were. They really looked like Gang Members (handsome ones at that) ready to rule the world with their performance. Their looks and their dancing was great. I love SF9 and they haven’t had a lot of opportunities to showcase their talents like this so I look forward to how they shock the other group (also if they don’t do the wheel from K.O in a single performance I will riot) but all in all I think this was a solid performance by them! I laughed at the beginning with Inseong holding the crystal diamond because I couldn’t help but think back to tbz and the crown on rtk. I hope they also do story driven performances on here because I haven’t seen that from them before and I think it would be great!

3. BTOB

Can I just say I appreciate the fact that they are staying true to their vocal roots? So much Kpop these days is intense and in your face with everything, and I worried about a vocally driving group like BTOB being on this program because they’ve never been about the choreography (though I’ll be your man was lit) but just like how everyone reacted, BTOB focusing on their vocals rather than dance was such a breath of fresh air in this round. They really are vocal kings in KPop and the chills that some of those idols felt were so important. Like Wooyoung said after their performance “Vocals are so powerful” (or something like that) and I sometimes feel that people forget that. Intense dancing is great and all, but to wow people with just your voice like they did is a feat not every group can do. The  acapella was such a nice tough too. Beautiful Pain is such a beautiful song (ha) and the remix they did for it was just so nice. My only complaint is that we didn’t get enough Minhyuk vocals :(((((

2. The Boyz

Aight, people might accuse me of being biased based on how whipped I was for The Boyz back during RTK, but I’m really not. Like the other groups agreed on, you can tell The Boyz were on RTK. You can tell they have been through a program like this and they came in swinging. They have a lot of pressure on them after the wonderful performances on RTK and I think the opening performance they did didn’t disappoint. They are such good storytellers when it comes to performances (something Ateez is also really good at as well). They just get you immersed in their performances and thats something unique to certain groups. They were just meant to perform. Regardless of scores, The Boyz are proving to be fierce competitor from the get go and not to name names, but Sunwoo is such an amazing rapper live like holy shit. He needs more credit. RTK was amazing for them and I am sure Kingdom will be just that as well!

1. iKON

God I hope Kingdom will turn me from a casual fan to a hardcore ikonic. What I loved about iKON’s performance is a lot like BTOB’s or even SF9′s. There was a sense of branding, like this style was their’s and theirs alone. Also their performance brought so many smiling and happy faces to the crowd. A lot of younger groups look up to iKON and you even heard how many idols there and evaluations to their songs or what not. They just had so much fun on stage and that reflected on the audience who in turn also had a blast. I wasn’t sure how I would feel watching them since out of all the groups I’m least attached to iKON, but just with that causal, fun, but intense performance of rytham-ta one could easily see them as Kings already.  I didn’t notice any thing out of place because I was just enjoying the performance completely. And to me, thats the most important part of a performance.

Again, these were just my opinions on this introduction stage. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the performances. Your rankings, and who you look forward to see more from! We will have a fun time with Kingdom on my blog! <3 :3

I look forward to future rounds and what other groups have to offer!