#relationship but it may be how others describe theirs

[gayvampyr]

how you define your relationship does not have to match how others define theirs

[plutoasteroids]

PAC How Will Your Future Spouse View You

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

DISCLAIMER THIS IS A GENERAL READING TAKE WHAT RESONATES AND LEAVE WHAT DOESN'T.

Strictly for entertainment purposes.

PILE 1

So, before I get into the tarot bit of the reading the overall vibe I am getting is that you and your future spouse will be that couple that are still doing cute stuff together even in old age. You know those older couples you see on TikTok on dates still happy and very much in love, yeah like that. One word I can use to describe it is cozy, just very warm and affectionate basically feeling like this person is your home. It's going to be like 'I'd rather come home to you then be anywhere else'.

On to the tarot bit, Your FS sees you as someone very confident and optimistic (even if you don't see yourself that way). They see you as being positive and very wholesome. Again, before I pulled cards I channelled and I still got the warmth.

Oh my gosh, if any of you have read The Song of Achilles that's basically it. Before anyone points out to me they were a same sex couple .Yes, I know but I am talking about the relationship dynamic between Patroclus and Achilles.

You may have gone through a difficult time in your life and your future spouse will admire how strong and resilient you are, how you're able to adapt to challenges and changes in environment. You may be the type of person who is connected to both their divine feminine and masculine and they truly find that attractive.

They certainly view you as their other half and I know its cliche to say soulmate but that's all your future spouse is saying. You just give them so much happiness and emotional fulfilment.

'They are my home, my soulmate, my forever'

PILE 2

Ugh Pile 2 your spouse will literally worship you😩. Like you'll tell them your insecurities and they'll just sit there kissing every scar, mark, dimple anything you're insecure about they'll adore. If you're a female or a feminine reading this and you have thick thighs I heard them say 'Come here and crush my skull with those sexy thighs'. Whoever you are you have someone's poor child down horrendous for you.

I think they may be the type to just watch your social media whether you are getting to know each other, dating, engaged or married your social media pages, pictures and videos will always be on their phone screen and they won't go to sleep without listening to a little voice message you sent. Once they get attached baby there's absolutely no getting rid of them, I heard 'You'll have an easier time getting rid of bed bugs'.

When you meet them, they may be a party animal or a player.

Disclaimer it's not toxic obsession more like they will let you be your own person but at the end of the day they are yours and you are theirs, you are their spouse, and they are your spouse and they will forever put you on a pedestal not to the open where they will neglect themselves.

They see you as a prize (again not in a creepy way) You may have options when you meet this person but best believe they'll make sure to stand out and win you over. They see you as the best the world has to offer in terms of what a wife/husband/spouse should be. Your person may have had a few letdowns when it came to love and just know that they see you as a dream come true and again, I know that's very cliche but trust me when Isay they view having you as a spouse as their biggest accomplishment and they want you to know that they'll prove to you every day they are worthy to call themselves your spouse. They feel like you have gone through a period of depression and sadness, and they want you to know that they acknowledge it and they see you as strong every day.

The couple I channelled for you guys is Queen Charlotte and King George from Bridgerton.

PILE 3

First thing I heard 'Sugar Daddy'. This person will spoil you but love you even more. Yes, they may have money and give you gifts but this person truly does love you, care about you and respect you.

They may be older than you that's why people may think that they are your glucose guardian which is not technically wrong and not technically correct either. I feel like that will be a long term joke you two have about them being your sucrose supplier..

They will definitely view you as delicate, I want to say that they are the protective type but not protective to the point of you feeling suffocated by them. They want you to be comfortable and have what you like 'If my spouse wants that watch I'll get it for them'.

They will view you as fun loving, yet you have this air of power to you that they love. Sure, they view you as delicate and they want to protect you, but they also view you as strong and beyond capable of taking care of yourself and those around you basically your spouse is saying 'they want me, but they don't need me'. They know that you can walk away from them anytime and they like that you're always in your power no matter what.

Your spouse admires how you don't need them to feel whole or for financial gain they see you as a breath of fresh air, a change of pace, an adventure.

He may touch you a lot with your consent obviously, like a hand on your waist, shoulder or they may steal little quick kisses. Also, there may be a lot of friendly banter in the relationship.

The couple I channel for you guys is Fallon and Liam from Dynasty.

[icanseethefuture333]

Asteroid Kitty (9563): your kitten like charm 🐈‍⬛

Asteroid kitty represents the duality of a person, it’s how people are seen as sexy and cute. Asteroid kitty can also show how mischievous or promiscuous a person can be towards their prey, especially when it comes to women using their feminine charm to get what they want.

“I’m the type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum

I’m the type of girl you wanna take to ya mama house”

Kitty in the signs/houses:

Aries Kitty / in the 1st house

Aries Kitty / in the 1st house people are the embodiment of “cat pretty”, their eyes are often shaped like a feline’s, and they are I nown for being a leader. They don’t like to follow the rules and could be seen as rebellious by people. Kitty 1st housers may also hate having people in their personal space but could lack a sense of respect for others. When in a relationship, they see what belongs to their partner’s as theirs, and wouldn’t understand why they don’t want to share. They could also be drawn to cats and animals prints in general. These kittens like to play hard to get and enjoy playful pushing/smacking on the arm as a form of flirtation. If they were a cat, they would believe they are the master and their owner was their servant, similar to those wirehair cats. They are only affectionate with the people they care about and can look at you as if you’re crazy if you act like you know them. These kittens have an infectious laughter as well and their voice sounds like purring to the ears. They are also athletic and look damn good in their workout clothes. They can pick up dudes at the gym and they often find people trying to help them whenever they are lifting weights.

Taurus Kitty/in the 2nd house

Taurus Kitty / in the 2nd house people prioritize financial security and success over the approval of others. These kittens value comfort and stability, they could often take naps and be seen as “lazy”. They might also carry weight more than others or have a “fat cat” 👀. Taurus Kitty 2nd housers charm is their ability to make their home and their style fancy on a budget. If they were a cat, they’d be the fluffy white Persian ones with the diamond collar. These kittens love luxury and being pampered. These are the type of people who grew up spoiled by their family. In a relationship, they are the type to be given money for spa days and so they can get their claws sharpened. They are also stubborn when it comes to arguments but for others their temper can be seen as sexually enticing. Romantic suitors feel compelled to give them their money and assets. Touch is also a big turn on for them and being touched by them always feels so sensual. They are high maintenance and lack patience when it comes to other people’s ignorance.

Gemini Kitty / in the 3rd house

Ohhh what chatterboxes! These kittens are very vocal and outspoken, but their way of communicating is very endearing! The way Gemini Kitty / in the 3rd house people talk is so adorable, when they have a crush on someone they can be very cheeky, and like to play a game of “cat and mouse” with their romantic interest. If they were a cat, they’d be a Siamese cat 🗣️! They are also very observant and attentive to details, if you do something that they don’t like, then they get the ick immediately. They are also very hot and cold, they hate when people are constantly in their face and need to have their alone time. Gemini Kitty 3rd housers need mental stimulation and have to be intellectually engaged. They are bold when it comes to saying dirty things and can be very vocal in the bedroom.

Cancer Kitty / in the 4th house

Cancer Kitty / in the 4th house people are attuned to people’s emotions and are sensitive to their surroundings. They could be described as empathetic and homebodies. People see them as cute and loving, they could often be babied by people, even as they get older in age. These kittens are classy in the streets and a freak in the sheets, they could play a more submissive role in the bedroom. Cancer Kitty 4th housers are known for their glowing skin, sweet scent, and docile nature. They like to be nurturing towards their loved ones and may cry with them when upset. If they were a cat, they’d be a exotic shorthair 🧸. They are viewed as the girl/boy next door and some people dream of marrying them. People hate seeing them sad and would do anything to make them happy again, they could manipulate others’ emotions if they wanted and whenever they’re in trouble, they get away with it because of their innocent demeanor.

Leo Kitty in the 5th house

The definition of mischief! Leo Kitty 5th house people are playful and vivacious, they love to have fun! You can find them at a party dancing or playing video games on a Saturday night. These are the kittens that enjoy laser tag, they like anything bright and shiny. If they were a cat, they would be an orange cat 🐈 ! People could find their energetic personality uplifting and are appreciative of their positive attitude. They are optimistic when it comes to their goals and they believe in having a team spirit. Leo Kitty 5th housers could be loved by children and animals, they see them as a big kid as well. They might be the youngest of their family or was that child who was a “busy body”, always wanting to go outside. When in a relationship, they love physical touch and quality time, they just won’t get off their partners lol. They could also have a high sex drive and are always excited to try something new, they might even want to try something silly like spanking their partner’s butt when they are caught off guard.

Kitty in Virgo/6th house

Virgo / Kitty in the 6th house people require more care than others. They could often be prone to sickness and when they are feeling under the weather, people wish to tend to their every need. Self care is an important part of their daily routine, so you can catch them doing their yoga routine or doing skincare. They could also be allergic to pets as well even though they might want one to keep them company. Virgo / Kitty 6th housers can be quite critical to cheap materials and are picky to certain foods, they have a refined palette. If they were a cat, they’d be a Russian blue. Hygiene is important to them and they are often praised for their well kept appearance (“pussy tight pussy clean pussy fresh”). When in a relationship, they are more shy and prefer to show their love through acts of services. In order to feel comfortable sexually, they could need lots of foreplay and require a partner that has patience, it takes a while for these people to get in the mood. Lying on the green grass underneath the warm sun could be healing for these kittens. Being in nature allows them to unwind and release stress.

Libra Kitty / in the 7th house

Popular and pretty! Libra Kitty / In the 7th house people are admired by their peers and often attract attention without even trying. They have many romantic suitors and they like getting what they want. People could often be jealous of them because of how well liked they are. They could have a reputation of being a “home wrecker” but they don’t see it that way. They feel if the home was never secure in the first place, then it wasn’t their fault someone chased after them lol. Libra Kitty 7th housers can be superficial and most of their attraction is based on physical appearance. These kittens also value balance and have a steady workload. If they were a cat, they’d be a ragdoll. In the bedroom, they are likely to be a switch and enjoy giving and receiving. These people like to see their partner’s face so missionary or cowgirl would be their favorite position, as well as 69 for fairness.

Scorpio Kitty / in the 8th house

What mysterious little creatures. Scorpio Kitty / In the 8th house could prefer to be alone and dislike being forced to socialize. These kittens are often misunderstood by others and might have been outcasted in their youth. They go wherever they please and look good doing it. Scorpio Kitty 8th housers may be drawn to the dark and prefer taking walks out at night, they also wear a lot of black. If they were a cat, they’d be a Bombay cat 🐈‍⬛. When they are attracted to someone, they ooze sensuality and are very alluring without even trying, their mannerisms as well are attractive to people. These people could have supernatural experiences and might be highly intuitive as well. In their family dynamics, they could be protective of others and can sense danger before it happens. In the bedroom, they are flexible and able to place themselves in all types of positions. They enjoy the darker aspects of foreplay such as roughhousing, shibari, whips, and bdsm. Their goal during sex is to claim their partner as theirs, expect love bites and scratch marks from these felines.

Sagittarius Kitty / In the 9th house

These are the alley cats who have seen and experienced a lot of things. Sagittarius Kitty / in the 9th house people are wise and knowledge of various topics. To other people they could consider them a “know it all” and mature beyond their years, they might feel inferior to them when engaging in a conversation. These people enjoy adventure and freedom, they would be a stray cat that is known and loved by all in their neighborhood. These kittens would most likely have multiple homes and don’t like being tied down to one place. They enjoy a good sense of humor and are attracted to someone who is intelligent, when a person matches their energy that turns them on even more. In the bedroom, they like to are open to new experiences and wish to try different things, so they are likely to mess around with sex toys. Sagittarius Kitty 9th housers could value their education as well and may be a “teacher’s pet”. If they were a cat, they’d be a Bengal cat. Within their family, these people would be the carefree older sibling who has crazy stories of parties and drinking, they are mostly likely to remain single and would not want to get married. They spend their time traveling and enjoying different cuisines.

Capricorn Kitty / In the 10th house

Capricorn Kitty / in the 10th house are focused , responsible, and determined. They have a sharp wit and don’t tolerate nonsense. These kittens are often annoyed with people’s incompetence and it puts them in a bad mood when things are not handled properly. They admire individuals with a good work ethic and have a good head on their shoulder. It’s a major turn on for them when a partner is able to take the role of a provider and make them feel secure in a relationship. These kittens are the type to receive push presents and don’t accept anything less than they are worth. They prefer stability and assets over romantic infatuation. Capricorn Kitty / 10th housers are likely to be “trophy wives” and “wags” (wives and girlfriends of athletes). In the bedroom, they assert their dominance only as a form of punishment or a way to relieve stress. In general, they can be a brat and desire a partner that can tame them. They are very opinionated and will let you know if the sex was bad or not. Their style consists of expensive jewelry and casual business attire. If they were a cat, they’d be an Egyptian Mau.

Aquarius Kitty / In the 11th house

Aquarius Kitty / In the 11th house people catch on quickly to things and have a keen intellect. They are smart when it comes to technology and could have a solid social media following. Their pets would also be popular on social media or they could make money from them (E.G: placing them in pageants or competitions). They do well in modeling campaigns and could have been seen in commercials and catalogs. Their sense of fashion is unique and they could be referred to as a “trendsetter”. Aquarius Kitty / 11th housers are able to find sexual and romantic partners quite easily thanks to dating apps or having good luck when it comes to sliding in people’s DMs. They also enjoy cybersex, either on FaceTime or sending sexy texts to their crush. Their online presence is considered tempting and alluring. They could post pictures of themselves in risqué positions or thirst traps are often their go to on their story. I wouldn’t be surprised if they make money from having an OnlyFans as well. When it comes to relationships, they are most likely to prefer being single and value their freedom. The downside is people try to trap these kittens and try to turn them into a housewife (or spouse) when they know they are very independent and rebellious.

Pisces Kitty / In the 12th house

What gentle beings. Pisces Kitty / In The 12th house people have a healing presence and are in tuned with their senses. They could have a spiritual connection to cats and often receive signs from them. They are highly intuitive and have cat like reflexes, they can predict things before it even comes true. If they were a cat, they’d be a blue abyssian. They enjoy reading books, meditation, and anything that allows them a peace of mind. Pisces Kitty / 12th housers are likely to smoke weed or use some type of psychedelics. These are girls at Coachella that dress whimsical and colorful and just there to vibe and have a good time. These kittens believe in manifestation and are the type to leave crystals in their crush’s car/home. They believe they can seduce people with their mind and aura (which is honestly true). In the bedroom, they prefer to use as sex as an act of healing and creating a spiritual bond. They could also be in non traditional relationships and may be open to polyamorous relationships. They might have even had sex with more than one person at a time.

[harmoonix]

Eye of the hurricane

(Short Astrology Observations)

🌪️- Chiron in Scorpio/8th or Chiron in Scorpio Degrees [8°, 20°] can be afraid to be intimate with their partners, or they can be anxious when it comes to intimacy

🌪️- Sun/Uranus/Neptune in the 12th house are half between the worlds, with one foot in the real world and with one foot in their subconscious world/spiritual

🌪️- Moon aspecting Pluto can sense energies for example they can have sense when they're being followed or watched by others

🌪️ - Chiron in Pisces/Chiron at Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) and Chiron in the 12th house will have to end some karmic pain/wounds from their past lives in this current one

🌪️ - Neptune in the 1st house can get into a state of realization a bit harder than others, they usually tend to dream with their eyes open

🌪️ - Uranus aspecting asteroid Psyche (16) will make the native so much intuitive. Having these aspects will feel like a lightning striking the sky.

🌪️ - Psyche in Taurus or in the 2nd house can make the native gracious/ they can be blessed by Venus with grace/elegance and romance

🌪️ - People with Pluto aspecting the ascendant can get hate and envy without a reason, they're like in the middle of the fight and still the one who gets blamed 100% times

🌪️ - Saturn in the 12th and 6th house have a hard time to focus on themselves, in their lives they mostly focused on others instead of themselves and that can cause a chaos between soul & body

🌪️ - Ceres (1) in the 1st house is already a big indicator that you need to nurture yourself, you could've have been hurt a lot in your past and that caused pain in your life

🌪️ - Mars in air and fire signs (yang energy) wil feel very attracted or pulled in by the men around them. Is not like you are attracted by them but you rather are pulled in their circle of energy

🌪️ - Mars in the 11th house will be that friend who laughs when you do something wrong but still supporting you in some friendly way

🌪️ - Mercury in the 7th house cannot function in a relationship where there is not communication a lot. Omg guys please stay away from people who don't like to communicate their feelings because you'll get hurt so much

🌪️ - Mercury ascendant in your persona chart can indicate how are you at your best when you're communicating/expressing yourself fx Leo Rising may like to talk about self esteem and that will make them feel better

🌪️ - Destinn asteroid (6583) in Libra or Taurus cand end up being in a place predominant with fashion/art/style/glamour

🌪️ - Air Risings feel like a breeze of air in your life, they won't judge you or pull you down but rather they will be staying supporting always and they're so open-minded everything

🌪️ - Midheaven in Sagittarius or in Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°) can have luck when choosing for a career/job because Jupiter rules that specific house of theirs

🌪️ - Venus in Capricorn/Venus in the 4th/Venus in Cancer house can look after an traditional relationship and traditional household

🌪️ - Sun at 4°, 16° 28° degrees (Cancer Degrees) when they get hurt sometimes these natives try to manipulate people emotionally

🌪️ - Mars in the 3rd house may enjoy riding cars/motorcycles/bicycles/ etc.. Or they can find satisfaction in these things

🌪️ - Cancer Moons or Moon in the 4th house. They can try to be like their mothers but they could also get the toxic traits from their mothers aswell

🌪️ - Pisces Sun/Moon/Rising/Midheaven natives can be so indecisive when it comes to choosing the right path for them, because they can have more options to choose from and it can end up promising

🌪️ - Juno in Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) or Juno in the 12th house are looking for a lasting romantic relationship, they want to feel romantic and make their partners to feel the same

🌪️ - Moon aspecting Venus (all aspects), i can't find the perfect words to describe this but, they can search all their lives for their partners and it can get pretty sad if they lose the hope for finding "the one" fated for them

H a r m o o n i x

[enamouredfae]

little astro observations i've made based on my little chart collection and experience 🎀

honestly i've observed this only in myself but you have a natural pull to people who's sun is the same sign as your 5th house, mine is in pisces and my bf, my best friend and my cat are all pisces, not to mention that 90% of my crushes have been pisces as well.

there is something about pisces and bunnies, they will either love bunnies (have tattoos of them, make art about them, be their favourite animal), own or have owned a bunny or they look like one, (my bf is all of the above).

in synastry a north node over a person's mars may indicate the north node person taking the mars person's virginity.

in synastry a person's moon in your 9th house may indicate they understand/feel/empathize with emotions in a different way from you due to where they come from and how they were culturally socialized, i have this with my bf and he comes from a north american individualist country where your emotions are your responsibility and other's are theirs and i come from a post communist country where you are responsible for everyone's emotions, and ppl live for other people.

in vedic astrology i am a hasta moon, claire nakti made a video on hasta nakshatra and describes hasta natives as "fairy pretty" and i have a pair of dragonfly fairy wings tattooed on my back, plus ive been told (before my tattoo) that i give off fairy vibes.

saturn ruled 3rd house makes you have to spend a lot of time in public transportation, for example you might live far from where you need to go, for me it used to take me 1 hour at least to get to some places, sometimes i'd have to wait an hour just to then spend on hour on the bus. just overall imposes patience for transportation

a lot of astro observation posts say that an aquarius 4th house makes you feel like u dont belong in your family or that you're the black sheep of the family, but i dont find that accurate at all, i feel like it makes the native the one to challenge family values, they may be the one to make their family change for humanitarian reasons

idk if this is a real technique already used by astrologers but i have a wholesign MC theory. in wholesign the midheaven can fall in the 9th/10th or 11th house. my theory is that wherever it falls is the way you get ahead in life, the way through which u become publicly known or get your career. If it falls in the 9th your career is owed to ur studies/travel, 10th your hard work/experience/reputation, 11th your connections/social media/friends.

i think i have the most literal astrological placements being passed down from your parents example. obviously placements dont always get passed down, my sister has none of their placements, but perhaps being the first child may have contributed to this since the first child is when parents still have their personality not yet influenced by parenthood. so my moon and my sun, which we know symbolize the parents amongst other things, are at the same degree and they sextile eachother exactly, which I think is an indicator that my parents are very harmonious together; they are still together and in love even now. furthermore, my moon and sun are the same signs of my parents' stelliums, i have a libra moon and my mom has a libra stellium, and my sun is in leo and my dad has a leo stellium.

sibling's ceres in your first is feeling like a parent to them, i constantly tell my sister she's my daughter, we even have an inside joke that i gave birth to her at 5, and my ceres is in her fourth, the house of motherhood so she definitely sees me as a parental figure.

me and my bf have eachother's jupiter in our 7th houses, besides being in a serious committed relationship, we want to start a business together. so i feel this is a great indicator for great partnership in both regards.

i feel like this is also a technique but i haven't really heard much about it, generational planets affect us through societal conditions/problems whereas personal planets affect us through personal problems. for example: let's go with two malefics, i have pluto in the first house which i feel would be very different from having let's say mars in the first house. the first house is amongst many things our appearance which i am insecure about. i have never in my life been told i am ugly, i am actually constantly told i am beautiful, and yet it does not click. it isn't through personal experiences that i have problems with my appearance but through consumption of society ideals. this is of course an oversimplification but you get what i mean.

chiron retrograde in natal changes our perception on trauma. me and my bf have the same chiron, his is retrograde while mine is not. he constantly says he is not traumatized, whereas i can tell i am. he 100% has traumas, the thing is that it's like he's left them behind? he just says it happened a long time ago so it's done. my observation is that retrogrades in your natal may make u leave things in the past or have a "it happened a long time ago it doesn't matter" attitude towards trauma. the thing is he acts like a non-traumatized person which is crazy to me.

i have a skin condition called dermatographia, also overall very dry itchy acne prone skin, i also have scars. here are a few placements that i have that i feel may be an indicator for skin conditions: mars ruled first house (traditional rulership) mars is inflamation and scarring, saturn in seventh saturn is dry and some people consider that libra(7th house) rules the skin, saturn opposite ascendant, saturn square venus i see venus as clear skin due to its aesthetical perfection.

saturn in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant indicates identity issues. borrowing elements of identity from people you admire, not feeling like you identify with the gender assigned at birth, not identifying with your birth name, etc.

having a libra 12th house can indicate traumatic female friendship. the 12th house is the house of hidden enemies, so you perceive these people as your friends, sometimes even best friends, so when they betray you it is very jarring and traumatic. having female friends that are jealous of you, female friends that pretend to like you, female friends that talk shit about you and even sometimes lie about u, friends that purposefully hide information from you, that want what you have, sometimes sabotaging what you have or trying to make u lose the thing they want, etc. this is a very difficult placement, because you love these people so much that you would've given up things, changed things or shared things with them if only they were honest with you. in the best of cases the friendship is real and full of love but you grow apart, and this is also painful because you can't control it.

venus square ascendant is people telling you they love you and you not believing them. just overall hardships around love and seeing yourself as loveable. double points when it also squares saturn making u think that if u are loved it's hard work or that people had to convince themselves to, that you're hard to love.

people with venus conjunct mars in first are stunning and have an androgynous vibe to them. sometimes this is visual, strong muscular body with graceful posture, but it can reflect in their personality, just strength imbued with vulnerability, people that surprise you, that are balanced.

taurus 6th house can indicate finding romantic partners in the workplace.

having a stellium in the 4th and no planets in the 10th, can indicate a strong connection to your mom and a disconnect from your dad, especially when the sun is in the opposite sign of your tenth house(in your 4th) feeling like your dad is not the way he should be.

🎀

please let me know what you think, im very curious how they hold up in other people's charts, critiques are welcome and invited.

[tyttamarzh]

Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…

Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.

I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.

I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.

The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.

The song:

Lyrics

Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past

I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.

Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.

How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself

The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).

The song:

Lyrics

Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.

Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act

Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you

If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear

[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.

And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.

sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail

In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened

Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into

and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better

listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are

My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)

And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!

[elysiansparadise]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do Venus in the 2nd house. Every post I find describes 2nd House placements as bottomless pits of greed and nothing more, but your post about the Moon in the 2nd was so beautiful and accurate and unlike anything I had read before (like the rest of your work) that I'd love to know your take. Thank you ♥️

Hello love, of course I would like to give you my take on this beautiful placement. ♥️

Venus in the 2nd house

Once your gaze meets theirs, you will come across sensuality at its maximum splendor, beautiful lips and a figure of the gods. Their attractiveness is something notable and outstanding, since Venus is in their house of domicile. Seductive lips, attractive neck, soft skin that is lethal to the touch as well as a glowy dressing style. They enjoy using accessories of all kinds. These people pay a lot of devotion to themselves, taking care of their appearance, using products and clothing that give them comfort. An imposing, attractive and self-confident presence, there is appeal in their reserved personality and charm in their very cordial way of treating others, they have an expensive vibe about them. They may have a tendency to spend money on many things that give them pleasure but that they do not necessarily need. They know how to pamper themselves after a hard day of work or a well-deserved victory. 

When it comes to romance, they are probably the type of person who constantly gives their partner gifts, fills them with details, and loves to find many ways to make their partner feel valued and important. Endowed with great magnetism and romanticism, they can be very lovely, touchy and obvious when someone interests them, however, it is not enough for them to just feel that feeling of being in a romance story. They need to know that the person has the same values ​​as them in terms of relationships [loyalty and honesty, for example]. They like people who can help them take things calmly, reliable, trustworthy, stable and constant people. They need a balance of give and take in a relationship. Despite their romantic and love-loving spirit, they have their feet firmly on the ground, analyzing whether that relationship will bring them pleasure and joy or sadness and headaches. It is one of the most loyal placements for Venus, as it shows a person who once decides to give their heart to someone, there is no person who can change their mind. They are very protective people with what they love and have. If Venus has tense aspects with Moon, Mars,Chiron or Pluto, the person may be somewhat possessive or jealous in their relationships, or may even have that tendency to attract partners like that.

This placement favors having a good economic situation, a good eye for business and a lot of diplomacy and knowledge about these types of topics. Many people with this placement can attract couples with a lot of money or oriented to winning and having a lot of income. These natives can generate a lot of money on their own, have financial independence and even afford all the luxuries that they would have liked to have in the past. They have a unique ability and that is that they make others feel very good about themselves in a natural way, they do not force it and they simply have this ability to understand well that makes others feel good and comfortable. Many of them have the goal of feeling complete and good with themselves, being able to give themselves and those they love a good quality of life, and they will always seek both physical and emotional well-being.

[spiders-notagain]

How to tell if your vulcan buddy is into you

The first thing to establish is why your vulcan chose you in the first place. There are two main methods vulcans use to choose an intended mate. The first is obviously based on logical criteria. This is a process that evaluates personality, ethics, and life goals to estimate compatibility. Mental/psychic compatibility is also evaluated alongside other criteria but is often weighted more heavily, with psychic incompatibility being a huge dealbreaker. The other method is shon-ha'lok, loosely translating to love at first sight. This traditionally describes the state of being in romantic infatuation/obsession with someone but is often used by vulcans to describe one who chooses an illogical choice of mate. It is however possible to be in shon-ha'lok for someone who is also a logical choice of mate.

As with human courting, actions are functional, either being used to demonstrate worthiness as a potential partner or to fulfill internal desires. They can be sorted into the five love languages.

Gift Giving: Gifts have a long history of relevance in vulcan marriages. In historical times, gifts were often expensive and extravagant. This is not necessary in a post scarcity society so vulcans commonly give gifts that are thoughtful and personalized to the receiver. Vulcans very rarely give gifts in this manner to another vulcan who is not A. their intended or B. a family member because it may be seen as nosy. Gifts given may be functional (ex. a can opener), decorative (ex. an art piece), or just enriching to your life (ex. a tea flavor you just ran out of, a book you mentioned was hard to find again)

Quality Time: Spending time with another is a logical way to measure compatibility through conversation and psychic proximity. However, vulcans have a looser definition of how much quality time is needed before marriage than humans. Any time spent together that fulfills these criteria is counted as quality time including time spent together for work or social group purposes. Additionally, vulcans avoid complete isolation with their intended (they're trying to avoid the temptation to maul you) and will prefer instead partial isolation, such as public parks or restaurants.

Physical Touch: Hand-to-hand contact is not only a logical way to measure psychic compatibility but is also physically desirable. This may be expressed as subtle touches (ex. brushing hands when giving each other objects, resting your hands near theirs.. etc.) or deliberate (offering the ozh'esta, touching their arm to get their attention, pressing their shoulder to lead them along.. etc.) Physical contact is taboo in vulcan culture so touching someone unnecessarily is specifically notable.

Words of Affirmation: In general vulcans only say things that are true and do not exaggerate facts to flatter. Excessive praise is thus reserved for things that are truly extraordinary. However if excessive praise is given, it could possibly indicate a romantic bias. This includes praise that is a personal expression of emotion (ex. I like your eyes, I enjoyed your performance) Pet names and expressions of endearment are usually reserved for relationships that are more cemented but occasionally if a vulcan is really down bad for their intended, they may use them earlier.

Acts of Service: Caring for one's intended is a logical way to demonstrate capability as a logical mate. This includes an attentiveness to your needs that outpaces even human friendships (ex. providing food or snacks, fetch quests for you) In the courtship stages, vulcans will temper this desire, balancing it with public decorum. However, this may include actions that are nosy and intrusive by human standards (ex. organizing your cupboard, folding your laundry) By vulcan standards, inviting your intended to your home to hang out casually is an intimate milestone and indicates a deep commitment to the relationship, soon before a proposal. So touching their things is not especially more intimate than the mind meld you'll have soon if not already.

You may notice that many of these things are very typical for a normal human friendship and thus not particularly intimate. This is because vulcans are so ridiculously reserved that expressing the love languages at all is very notable.

There are of course, cases where vulcans may do these things not because they've chosen an intended, but because they've chosen to integrate with humans and reciprocate their actions of friendship. In this case, you can tell the difference because vulcans can't pine romantically for years. Not only is it illogical, but biology will inevitably force their hand in some way. If rejected they will either enforce distance and move on (abruptly ending all displays of affection whatsoever) or stubbornly attempt to change their intended's mind, increasing their displays and attempting to resolve any perceived obstructions (if it's another person this can lead to violence)

Vulcans technically have a sixth love language which is their mental contact but nothing substantial is done with this until bonding.

[snuffink]

Something something something even though I don't care for MyStreet nearly as much as I do Diaries, Nana is a thorn in my ass and I've been itching to take care of it, I just didn't know what I would do with her beyond changing her stereotypical character and her super weird, obsessive personality

And then I had a thought

A super self indulgent thought.

Now this could go one of two ways, picture me this. Nana, born to a huge family with either

A. Two unbelievably loving parents. Through all of the family's struggles and keeping together a family of 13 they still had a picture-perfect relationship. They loved each other so deeply and transparently that they practically built Nana's ideals for love and future partners. Romantic love just like what her present have is all she could ever wish for.

Or,

B. Nana's parents aren't in love. Keeping afloat a family of 14 has destroyed their relationship and any love they had for each other is long gone. No matter how much they may or may not try to hide it from their children, it was obvious that while they were together, they were not in love. Having watched her parents fight and try to workout their differences to no avail has left Nana determined to never have a relationship like theirs. She wants nothing more than to have a relationship built on love and trust and care for one another.

Then she comes to the realisation that she doesn't feel romantic love. At least not the way her friends do. All the crushes and fantasies her friends experience throughout middle school and high school never seem to happen to her. Nobody to gush over in class, no love letters to slip into lockers, no blushing and giggling or hand holding. No friends teasing you over a crush. No matter how she tries to seek out potential crush candidates in class, no one even catches her eye.

But she stays hopeful! One doesn't simply stumble upon the perfect partner, and she's still young! She has time!

In the meanwhile, she focuses on herself for a while. Makes herself stand out. Having 11 siblings makes it hard to stand out, she's gotta fix that first before she can focus on love!

Then in high school her friends start getting into their first serious relationships. She still hasn't felt anything close to what they describe to her. Her friends would talk about their partners and crushes and the fluttery feeling they would get at the slightest interaction and she couldn't relate.

Little by little, she started focusing on other people's relationships. At first it wasn't on purpose. Her friends would talk about their relationship and she would listen. Then their partners would ask for help with gifts or the like. Having always been good at reading people, she would start seeing people who she thought would make a good couple. Before she realised, she was setting people up without even meaning to. Before high school ended, she had gotten herself the title of matchmaker. A title that she carried all throughout college and even some years after graduating. The closer she was to the people she was setting up, the more important the relationship became to her.

Well into adulthood, though she had been on dates and tried talking to people, she still hadn't felt an ounce of romantic love or the feelings her friends had always told her about. Was there something wrong with her? Why couldn't she have what her friends had? Was she simply doomed to never fulfill her greatest wish since childhood?

Aaron and Aph's relationship reminded her a lot of her parents' relationship (case A). For a while it was bittersweet, seeing her best friend so happy and loved just like she had always hoped to be was confusing. She ultimately buried those feelings for the betterment of their friendship.

Over the years she's made peace with her lack of romantic feelings. She's happy, she's surrounded by her best friends, her family, she has a comfortable life and her friends are all happy and safe. Most of them are in wonderful loving relationships. She has all she needs, she shouldn't ask for more.

She's long since given up on finding love, she's happy as she is, until Zane. They had grown quite close in recent months even though they had been acquaintances since high school. Zane was sweet and kind. He's never judged her for anything she's done. Nana doesn't quite know why, but she feels as though she can trust him with anything. They talk a lot, she enjoys talking to him. Their conversations flow fluidly. They understand each other. Zane is the first person she's tells about her family and her fixation with relationships.

After so long of yearning for the feeling, she has butterflies for the first time.

[bunny-atsunset]

[Leona Kingscholar N S F W Alphabet] AKA: What he's like as a partner IN DEPTH x GN Reader

Content warning: 18+, Various sexual acts described (oral, penetration etc), cursing, !softLeona! A/N: I'M BACK! (REQUESTS MAY BE OPENING AGAIN SOON) I saw this thingy going around with a few other Twst guys so I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring! It's a bit of a long one! Enjoy~

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You are his and he takes care of his. He makes sure you’re good, comfortable, and having fun. (If you are this far into a relationship he is pretty perceptive of your moods) Leona may offer you to take a bath with him and definitely order some food. I imagine he gets a little ravenously hungry after sex. And he wants you well-fed too, he doesn't mind spotting you. He ideally wants you two to stay naked or be in his clothes in his bed, in his arms. This may change depending on the situation but after he always makes sure you're taken care of and then…yep. He’s OUT for the night, proud of his work. He’s a creature of habit and it’s his favorite ritual to fuck you silly and have plenty of quality time after, even if it's just nodding off together to a movie. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Leona likes his Hands. They are the thing he has the most precision and control over after all. He plays chess with his hands and they're very sensitive to others' touch. In fact, he was a bit hesitant to hold your hand at first. 

He doesn’t like when just anyone touches them. But, if you kiss his fingers or palms you can practically hear his heart pounding. His fingers are broad, nimble, and surprisingly smooth. Average size hands but large digits and he likes putting them inside you. This is how he finds out how you tick after all, discovering how he can touch your sex and body just right to make you call his name. He loves the look of his hands all over your body as he memorizes the curves of your form. (Bonus: I also think he's pretty proud of his hair, it's his crowning glory after all; his mane. He takes care to make it look good for you and he loves to be groomed by you. Wash his hair, braid it, brush it.)

He just likes touching you, especially your midsection, But on his partner, it’s definitely the neck. Before you were together he would sit behind you in class and fantasize about it. Skating his fingertips across the nape to make you shiver, moving a piece of your hair aside, or dragging his tongue down the center of your throat... It’s probably the first place he kisses you. Your scent and pulse are strongest here and he loves to press his lips and face in the crook of your neck when he stands, sits, or lays behind you. It's his fucking favorite place to be in the world, he can rest safely here, and whisper to you so only you can hear. Plus, it's prime real estate to leave hickies or marks getting a sick kick out of seeing you struggling to hide them in class the next day.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Leona loves it. He loves eating your cum after he coaxes it from you and doesn’t let any go to waste, especially if he misses you. He’s a picky eater but his partner is his favorite treat. He loves the smell and taste of your juices so much he is almost tempted to sample how both of your cum tastes mixed together. 

He loves the smell of your cum all over his cock, face, or any part of his body. He is yours after all. Also, he cums a lot. He’s not much of a “multi-orgasmer” preferring to edge until the end or save it for you. But when he finally does it gets everywhere, the warmth running down your legs. Seeing his seed melt down your body, it scratches a primal urge and he feels a tug of pride to watch it unfold before him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Leona isn’t one much for porn most is too over-the-top for his tastes. So instead he is more prone to go through your social media photos, maybe one where a sliver of your thighs is showing or you were biting your lip in a certain way.

This man is all about the details and if you are his partner he craves the little things that make you special and that’s what keeps him up at night, with the urge to be near you. The way your nose wrinkles at him or the way your chest moves under your clothes when you breathe. He has to resist himself when he thinks about the way your nipples get hard under your uniform shirt, dreaming about sucking on them as he touches himself.

The POV nudes or coy of you flashing him are what he craves. When he misses you he pleases himself to the selfie you sent him in his shirt and only his shirt. His mind fills in the rest, you next to him, no bottoms sliding his hand down your thighs before he plays with your sex, and all the while he plays with himself too. Once you are together he loves to snap his own pervy candid shots of you for this purpose as a way to “treat himself” later if you aren't paying him enough attention.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Leona is handsome, he’s a prince and he knows the power of his notoriety. He is desirable to a decent demographic of people so this probably opened some doors to some easy sexual encounters before Night Raven College. He’s the type to not wanna look inexperienced either and he picked up what he could and experimented with his sexual preferences, finding out what he likes and doesn't. He also figured out it was a good way to blow off some steam back home in the gilded cage of the palace. He is somewhat experienced now but hasn’t had any serious or long relationships. He became bored with casual sex encounters very quickly and is not interested in anyone at the school.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

There are two.

Cowgirl/boy: For a couple of reasons. He likes to look at you, sitting on his cock like it’s your favorite seat, and has a clear view of your cute face as he runs his fingers over your body. Under you, he can control the pace easily, digging his nails into your hips and sometimes he likes seeing you in control too. He wants to show you that contrary to how he acts with others he’s soft for you. He’s your Lion. And let’s be honest, if he wanted to be lazy he would be content all night watching you do all the work. Riding his cock for as long as you need, and happy to be at your service until you’re done with him. He’s very patient after all.

69: Work smart, not hard. What’s not to like? He’s getting sucked off by his favorite person in the world while he gets to sample you as well…all while laying down? He takes the bottom of course so he can relax and spread out under you. He likes to feel your weight over him as he takes his time to please you. Don't hover either, S I T. Fuck his face, he can take it, he’s not a herbivore after all. He’ll suck you off too, or tongue fuck you slowly until you cry out, licking all your juices off of his face after as a reward for his efforts.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Depends on the mood but Leona is a teaser. During casual sex, he would probably quip or say things that make you laugh, especially if you are a little nervous. He’ll call you pet silly names or whisper in your ear.

If he is more focused or feeling more sentimental he probably teases less often. Not much phases Leona so he probably wouldn’t care if you joked with him too as long as you didn’t take it too far. He is the king of casual sex, so as long as you are both having fun any mishaps that happen during the throes he’d probably just laugh it off and keep going.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Leona doesn't worry much about body hair in general, yours or his. He does minimal grooming down there too. He probably has a happy trail and some thicker pubes but because he does Spelldrive club he showers often after practice. So he would always be clean anyways even if wasn’t trimmed. (He probably always smells like some specialty cologne he got from the Sunset Savanna.)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Casual intimacy is his love language, he likes his hands on you even if it’s just a few fingers trailing down your arm under your sleeves.  Leona is very guarded in general but if you are his romantic partner and he’s at a point where these walls are down…then woof. All bets are off. Why would he hide around you? He would be much softer and open than the Leona you see around others. He saves his softness for you and isn’t afraid of people knowing. His ears will lower and he’d mutter sweet things to you in his native language, all while his cock buried inside you. This is his chance to say things he wouldn’t be able to say or articulate at any other time. He is generally confident but he loves your praise to confirm you are his and he’s doing a good job. It’s the small, tender things that catch him off guard in these moments. Sex itself is something that is not a big deal to him. But the way that you kiss his scar or his lips tenderly is enough to make his heart explode.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s not opposed but, in general, it’s not a big deal to him. He can go a really long time without doing it and mostly does it out of boredom or for a bit of high. Though with a partner, he would touch himself to you pretty often, he doesn’t wanna get rusty for you after all and last longer. He’d delight in finding little photos that arouse him of you or thinking of scenarios of the two of you that make him all hot and bothered. While Leona is particular about his tastes in a partner he views masturbation as a casual thing and probably doesn't bother with toys or porn. Just rubs one out quickly when the urge takes him. Mostly before bed or in the shower all the while wishing you were there. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

 Scent Kink: Smell drives him crazy, especially if you are his partner. But, it also comforts him. He wants you in his clothes or vice versa so he can be reminded of you always. During sex, he can smell when you start to get aroused and uses this to his advantage. The smell of your cum makes his mouth water. He likes to lick your sweat too and lives for that musty after-sex smell.  

Cum Eating: Yep. (Go back to “C” for more detail)

Scent/Bite Marking: He wants to be claimed by you. He’d never beg openly but he wants it BAD. And of course, he wants to do the same to you. (Only if you want to. Nothing turns him on more than being wanted.) Mark him with your scent. (He’ll teach the proper way if you’re not a beastman) Leave bites or hickies on his chest or neck that he can look at later and admire. The idea that he belongs to you and you belong to him drives him fucking wild. He’s not “possessive” per se but rather it’s the idea that he’s allowed someone this close and this is a physical reminder of the sacred bond you have. He’d never mark a casual sex partner so diligently after all. 

Plus…you look so cute sucking on his skin doing your best to leave a mark back, or rubbing your face against his like he taught you lion beastmen do. But, watch out. He will try to one-up you every time.

Oral Fixation: (More of this in the “O” section but yeah.)

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere that’s comfortable. His favorite nap spots, he's not picky but he wants to be comfortable and not worry about people interrupting. He's not at all opposed to public places if he’s in the mood for an afternoon delight, like letting you fuck him behind the Spelldrive bleachers. He would get a kick out of seeing a spot in a classroom where he played with you under the desk. (He’s a sick man.) Maybe not all the time, because he’s a bit of a pillow prince but..if he is desperate for a taste of you sometimes he’ll just lay you down in a secluded spot outside and fuck you, covering your mouth so you two don’t get caught. He wants to come back to this spot later to remember what happened.

 Mostly, you would be in his room though where he can take his time and you two would have the most privacy.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Praise (genuine of course) and knowing you are his. Leona is attracted to confidence and when you approach him with an aura of forwardness this has him biting his tongue. He loves to know that you want him, and only him, so just say it. Tell him that you want him and need him and rizz him up a little. It doesn’t take much for him to get excited by you. The subtleties he picks up as you get to know each other he eats up like little morsels. How you say his name, touch him and pay attention to him in your own special ways. He relishes the idea that only he gets this kind of attention from you.  He is a bit clingy, though he’d never admit it, and tries to give you your space. But, when you two are alone and you are spoiling only him, this encourages his draw to you. He likes when it’s just the two of you like you're the only two people to exist. You two against the world, the idea makes his blood pump and cock hard. He’s a teaser and he likes it when you tease him too. Toy with him a little but…don't tease him for too long. He wants what he wants after all.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Degradation: I feel like a bit of dirty talk is fine, call him a pervert for snapping photos of you, or a freak for the hungry way that he goes down on you. But…hardcore degradation or disingenuous praise is a big turn-off for him. He’s got thick skin, but he also doesn't easily forget things and can be overly sensitive about comparisons to other people. (like Malleus or his brother)  Don't demean him or kiss his ass, he deals with that enough already back home. Tell him why he’s special to you and be honest. Tell him he’s yours. Leona doesn’t like to be facetiously called “King”; he finds it patronizing. He’s a prince, not a king. He doesn't wanna be reminded. Instead, tell him how well he did at his last Spelldrive game or how good he is at taking care of you. 

Hate fucking: He’s pretty straightforward with his desires he wouldn’t go out of his way to fuck someone he hates even if he found them attractive. His pride wouldn't allow it. There are plenty of those back at home to fuck if he’s that desperate for some company. Or he can just jerk off. It’s not worth the effort to him.

Anything harming his face: (Not including face sitting he loves that) While biting and scratching is one thing I don't think he likes to be in too much pain. He would hate to be hit too hard, especially in his face, and it would only serve to irritate him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Leona is a very visceral person and he craves the taste of you and something about being close to your genitals drives him wild. When he goes down on you he is fully immersed in you, The smell, the sweat, all of your fluids dripping down his chin. With you inside his mouth, he feels every twitch of your sex, every movement of your hips as he pleasures you. He loves to figure out what makes you tick.

He obviously would like receiving too, lounging comfortably and laying his head back to watch you go at it. Having you suck his cock is weirdly cute to him, your devotion to him, the way you look up at him. Again, he loves 69, with you on top. He gets to be under his favorite ass and pair of thighs going to town on his next meal. And then there’s you, sucking him off with your cute mouth, the noises the sensation, it’s all just a bonus. Honestly, one of the few times he might not be able to edge as much as he wants and have to come earlier.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood. Leona likes lazy, casual sex and he would prefer to go slow unless he was really pent up. He’s patient and likes the build-up of easing his dick slowly inside you, inch-by-inch until you can't help yourself and set the pace for him. He usually prefers for you to cum first for his pride. So after you get yours or if he really missed you, he wouldn’t hold back. Sometimes pinning you down to get his frustrations out. But, on the regular he’s got a slow languid stroke with deep thrusts, loving the view of his cock disappearing inside you again and again.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Yeah, this guy loves casual sex with his partner. Casual intimacy is his strong suit. If you give him the heads up and as long as he’s not too tired he’ll be unbuckling his pants as soon as you lock the door.

He can generally tell when you want him bad or are horny so he might offer to finger fuck you after class or maybe some time on his cock if you can find a nice place where you two can be alone. He says all this so casually of course, like he’s talking about the weather. Leona is a man that likes to take his time and play with his meal, but he enjoys the intimacy of quickies too. And if he is feeling lazy he’ll just lay back and let you ride him or ask you to sit on his face. What? He’s just relieving your stress after all and doing you a favor.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He already knows what he likes but of course, if you want to do something new he would be open to trying. He’s not super judgemental as long as long as it is not too much work for him. Though a lot of flashy kinks with lots of setup (like rope or roleplay he would see it as a waste of time.) But I think he would let you do whatever you wanted to him as long as it’s not too involved. Dress him up, choke him, spit in his mouth, bite him. He’s a pretty simple guy but open-minded as long as you take the lead.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

It has been said by a few characters that Leona has insane stamina with both magic and sports. He may be lazy but he is coy with his abilities sometimes because he knows ppl underestimate him. He has also shown to not “break a sweat” in wrestling and magic battles, so yeah. He can last a LONG time. He can control when he comes very well And the pull-out game is 10/10. He would love to edge himself and see how long he could hold back to show off for you and wear you out first. It’s a pride thing. So, if he’s in the mood to spend some “quality time” for the night with his favorite person…cancel everything. It’s gonna be a whole thing from the build-up to the moment he releases, to the aftercare. He’s gonna make sure you think he’s the best after all.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Naw, he's mostly au naturel, he wants you to be pleased but… if he’s being honest he prefers doing it himself. And he doesn't really want or need toys much for his own pleasure. He’s not jealous but may get a little…snippy if you have a large collection of sex toys. Like: “Hmph, what do you need that for?”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

TEASER, for sure. For those long sessions with you, he wants to sample all of it and go slow and see you squirm, he wants you to shiver at his husky words. He likes to make little quips about how cute (even when you get mad at him) you are or how good you make him feel. He will even whisper dirty things in your ear during class if he’s in the mood. He would send you lewd texts during lunch or class describing how much he wants to “taste” you later.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

While Leona has the capability to be loud and has a very resonant and deeper voice he seems more a person who makes little noises of pleasure like sighs and grunts. He's good at controlling himself and could go a whole session without making a single noise if he had to. It comes in handy for those “sessions” in the gardens. And he would find it amusing if you were the “loud” one and tease you for it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Fantasizing: He may say differently but Leona spends a lot of time alone just thinking sometimes his mind slips into fantasies of the future and it’s grand. Dreaming of what he wants to do to you or what you do to him, especially during the time before you became intimate. If he is courting you in the first place it is pretty serious because this man will never seriously court someone he doesn't see a future with.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Leona’s favorite pair of underwear are silk leopard print briefs, when he feels horny he loves how they feel rubbing against him in his pants. He’s got a pretty sensitive cock but has good control from all his experience. He’s not huge but a bit above average (7 inches.) It curves up and when it’s fully hard it can almost touch his belly button. Most of the impressiveness is his girth. He has a big head and big balls, when he's wearing his jeans and if you tease him enough you can get a preview of what to expect. More of a “shower” than a grower maybe 3.5 inches when soft.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His libido is kind of all over the place, waxing and waning depending on his mood. When single sex is not something he thinks about but if he does he nips it in the bud with a quick jerk-off session to care for himself.

But if he’s with a partner he is more prone to be turned on more, often going through phases of intense desire with you. He doesn't have a “heat” but rather periods where he feels more needy and craves your touch.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He COULD fall asleep right away, you make him so...comfortable and safe. But he prefers not to go to bed too messy, though he’s not a stickler, most late nights he’d probably wipe himself off and you with an old shirt. Then he’s out, latched onto your back until morning. Best sleep of his life.

But if it was more of an occasion he would love the ritual of bathing with you and eating food with you. (See “A”) He also would love to just lay naked with you afterward for some skin-to-skin contact. Ideally, if he knows Ruggie won’t be banging on his door the next morning he would want to be completely naked with you all night. You in his arms, so he could look at your naked body before he fell out. He's lazy, sure, but you're worth staying up a bit for. Probably not much talking afterwards as he likes to soak in your afterglow in silence, running his fingers over what’s his. Maybe during this time, he puts on a movie while you lay together but you wouldn’t get very far before you hear the tale-tale snoring in your ear. This man can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, but you are his favorite place.

[soracities]

soracities please provide your wisdom. i met someone a few weeks ago who i instantly connected with. within the first week of meeting, we saw each other four times in that one week. i instantly felt that i had known them for a long time but have two concerns i’d like your opinion on (i think that these are mostly a result of my overthinking).

firstly, he had to leave to overseas for an internship so the next time i see him won’t be for another 2 months. we are still texting/facetiming daily but i can’t help but feel that he will no longer see me as a lover but as a pen pal/friend.

secondly, i don’t feel a lot of nerves/excitement that is typically associated with a new fling. like i said, i feel very comfortable around him and could spend an entire day together in silence. i know this is likely a good thing as it seems ppl spend years searching for this, but i am scared this is a symptom of a lack of passion between us/there is something wrong with me as this person is genuinely perfect and beautiful otherwise.

would appreciate any advice or consolation you have xx

I think you are overthinking this just a bit; I think--in spite of the depth of the bond you feel--you need to take some time to remind yourself that you have only known each other for a few weeks. This is not to say the sense of having known him forever isn't real (I've had that feeling with others, so I get it), but that you also can't ride entirely on that feeling: it's an expression of your connection at present. And while it might be an honest expression, it's also only the very tip of the iceberg of who he is and what your relationship (whatever shape it takes) may become, if that makes sense; who you are as people goes far beyond the few weeks you've known each other. As such, the more solid foundations of your relationship still require building.

For the internship, I think it's important to remember that two months, like the weeks you've known each other, is not a long time: its 8 weeks, give or take. A sunflower takes longer to bloom. And while the uncertainty might be daunting, it is also something you cannot do anything about: he is there, you are here. As such, your lives will be entirely separated until he comes back. Whatever happens in those spaces (for either of you) is not within your control for him, or his control for you. One of my closest friends shared something recently which has fundamentally altered how I try to think about things and it's literally just a reminder to stand where your feet are. You can overthink and worry about what might happen if such-and-such occurs or what-if he does or doesn't feel xyz--but all you're doing is stealing time from yourself by creating anxieties and worries in advance without having any indication that these things are even going to happen.

When you are talking and face-timing, you are talking and face-timing. When you are going about your daily life, you concentrate on your daily life. It is not your place to speculate on what goes on in someone's mind because, unless you're asking them about their feelings directly, you're inventing scenarios and making assumptions based on your feelings--not theirs. Your place is to be attentive and present in your interactions as they happen, and allow them to happen and unfold with sincerity. It is also to trust in your intentions and another person's when they haven't given you reason to doubt those intentions; ultimately, I don't think someone who doesn't care about spending time with you will make the effort to spend time with you in the way you've described and you need to trust in that because that is what you know--not what may or may not happen in a week or two.

If it happens that the distance does dim your connection, then you cross that bridge when (or if) you come to it because you cannot do anything about such a scenario now. And if it so happens that it is the case what would actually be the worst case scenario? Would it be as awful as you fear? This isn't a pleasant question by any means, but I think it's a necessary one when you find yourself thinking in this way. Could you possibly have had any input on such a scenario, with such a distance? Can you control who comes into his life and how (or who comes into yours?) If you haven't had any concrete conversations about how you both feel / have agreed to date exclusively while he's away / established expectations of your relationship etc / then would it be fair to influence the natural rhythms of someone else's life from your own worries?

I think most solid relationships can weather a small bit of distance provided you have open communication when necessary; if the romantic inclination fades away after two months apart then, in my view--and in the absence of vocalised expectations and romantic interests between you both-- it wasn't strong enough to begin with. I absolutely don't mean for that to sound harsh, nor am I saying the feelings and bond you've built so far aren't real. All I'm saying is that there are so many variables to how romantic attraction builds and that is different for everyone; something enduring and lasting doesn't pop out and then root itself overnight--a seed emerges but it still takes time for those roots to form and grow deep and strong enough. Again, I'm not diminishing your feelings or dismissing them--but a few weeks, beautiful and profound as they have been for you are still just a few weeks--stand where your feet are. It will work out however it works out when the time arrives for it.

My thoughts on the passion are the same but I think it might help to ask yourself a few things: How do you define passion? What are your expectations of it? Are these based on what you've felt or what you've seen / heard / come to expect from other sources? What have been your experiences of passionate feelings before (if you have had them before)? Were these purely physical and never (or rarely) emotional? Were they healthy relationships / expression of passion when you had them? Or was passion a form of compensation (i.e., a way to paper over your own insecurities by riding on an emotion that distracts you from them)?

I don't think comfort necessarily points to lack of passion--passion is emotion, but like all emotionally-driven things they don't happen in a vacuum. You can feel nerves and excitement around someone new for a number of reasons but that doesn't always mean it's coming from a healthy place; quite often, if you come from an emotionally unhealthy environment with a lot of emotional instability or reactive people around you, for example, you might find the uncertainty of a new fling or someone emotionally intense exciting simply because that instability has become familiar to you. Personally, I try to concentrate less on "passion" and more on desire because they aren't necessarily interchangeable in my view and, ultimately, what matters most here is: Are you attracted to this person, physically and emotionally? Can you imagine yourself being / want to be physically involved with him? If the answer is yes to either of those, then I wouldn't worry too much because, again, you're at a distance right now. It isn't something you can explore fully / allow develop until that distance is no longer there.

I don't know if any of this helps you, anon, but I hope some of it does x

[haute-honey]

astrology opinions.

Reminder that these are just subjective opinions just like any other astrology observational post. If it don't apply, bye.

Someone having your sun sign as their moon is really not all that. The moon person tends to be playing pretend in front of the sun person. Very deceptive.

I saw someone describe Taurus placements as "sweet" and "innocent" lmfaooooooo Taurus is a sign that you don't want to fuck with or have them perceive you as being an enemy because they can be nuttier than squirrel shit. They aren't Joe from You. They are Brandy from A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. I feel like I've said this in another observation post but just want to reiterate because don't get it fucked up with these people they will end you. If fuck around and find out was an astrological sign. They are not afraid of being vindictive and conniving over what is "theirs".

Speaking of which, Water sign dominant femmes get waaaay too overrepresented for being the crazy jealous "my man my man my man" type of lovers when earth sign dominant femmes are just like them. Yes they may be slower to open up but once they do? Good luck trying to shake them. An earth sign woman/femme will go to the ends of the earth for their lover and if someone comes along and tries to threaten what they feel they've "built", they turn into eminem in love the way you lie part 2.

Virgo placements, its okay to be a nerd. Just don't be a loser. There is a difference. (This take is more directed towards the men/masculines w/ virgo placements.)

I have yet to see or witness a Scorpio sun be as mYstEriOus as yall claim they are.... they're usually the loudest hoe in the room.

If you want to know if a guy is interested in dating outside his race? Look for Gemini or Sagittarius placements in his big 6.

Saw a post that said people with venus in 2h/scorpio are usually the "other woman" or involved with people who are involved with others but get "chosen" in the end....

y'all really get on here and say ANYTHING. As a person with these placements, the most important things to me within a relationship are loyalty, attraction and stability. Can't get that out of a partner who is already in a committed relationship...

Having pretty privilege ≠ being a pick me (this ones for my girlies with prominent libra placements)

Every femme only wants to talk about how "seductive" and "sexy" it is to have prominent Lilith placements. We don't discuss enough how awful it is for your social life esp in relation to other women. In my experience as someone with Lilith in 1H, women either have weird jealous/envious energy towards me or they want me romantically/sexually. It sucks ngl.

Going back to women/femmes with prominent Libra placements/influence in their chart, I'm seeing a lot of bullshit about how they are within romantic relationships and in the dating world. This belief of them being "the other woman" is bullshit. They are not out to get your loser boyfriend. (This is from experience, I've had guys breakup with their gfs just to try to talk to me, ew.)

I think its a good thing air dominant people are so detached. The jealousy/envy/obsession they attract needs to be studied. Work on protecting yourselves from evil eye.

Stop infantilizing cap moons please. Their biggest enemy are themselves for their unwillingness to be emotional or express emotion. You cannot establish healthy relationships with others and be emotion-phobic at the same time. Esp if you're a grown ass adult, you need to work on your emotional maturity and stop using your upbringing as an excuse to continue emotionally abusive and neglectful cycles.

Speaking of caps, Saturn ruled people (aquarius and capricorn dominant people) need to understand and accept that they are here to do incredible things. The more you try to assimilate to what everyone else is doing, the more you try to blend in the more Saturn is gonna beat your ass. Go big or go home bitch.

I noticed people who have issues with their emotional wellbeing (either too sensitive or emotionally inept) have their moon in a sign that is generally incompatible with their sun sign. (For ex. Aries sun with a Capricorn moon). Gotta work extra hard to learn and understand who you are emotionally.

Anyways that's all... for now.

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Audubon:

The night of June 10 was warm, but not too much so. After days of rain, Concord, Massachusetts, wrung itself dry. The moon edged toward fullness. Rarely in need of an excuse to wander, Henry David Thoreau took it anyway. He followed Concord’s train tracks out of town and into a moonlit meadow. There, he encountered an iconic bird of the United States: the Eastern Whip-poor-will.

With their cryptic plumage and nocturnal habits, Eastern Whip-poor-wills are rarely seen, but the male’s loud, rhythmic songis hard to miss. Thoreau heard them that evening—five or six at once. A few nights later, when the moon was full, he encountered a dozen or more. “Perhaps this is the Whip-poor-will’s Moon,” he wrote in his journal in 1851.

Into the early 20th century, whip-poor-wills were sheer magic to those who inhabited their breeding range and awaited the species’ return each April and May. An important seasonal sign, the first whip-poor-will’s call signaled an end to frosts and marked the moment to plant sensitive crops, like corns and beans. Farmers let cattle out to pasture. Children knew they could play outside barefoot.

Quirkier and more personal rituals developed around their appearance. One could make a wish on his song, roll on the ground three times for a year without backpain, or shake a pocket full of coins for a year of financial success. Some people believed the repetitions of his name, which he can sing for many hours, predicted how many years they would live or, if they were unmarried, how many until they’d wed. In an article that circulated widely in 1941 and 1942, the United Press reported that an Alabama man—known to friends and family as “Uncle Rip”—waited to have one of his two annual haircuts until whip-poor-wills returned.

The whip-poor-wills’ tune was also part of the nation’s emotional landscape. To 19th century poets, whip-poor-wills might sound mournful, plaintive, and grieving. To John James Audubon, the “cheering voice” of the whip-poor-will was his “only companion” on nights alone in the woods. Others heard the sound of loneliness. When Hank Williams wanted to convey that emotion, he sang of a whip-poor-will who “sounds too blue to fly” in his often-covered 1949 classic, “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.”

Yet in the decades since Williams belted those classic opening lines, much has changed for the whip-poor-will—and for our own relationship with the species.

While many kinds of birds are experiencing population declines, whip-poor-wills are especially vulnerable to habitat loss, pesticide use, loss of prey, car strikes, and predation. Ornithologists estimate that the Eastern Whip-poor-will population decreased by nearly 70 percent between 1970 and 2014. But their decline may have begun sooner. After World War II, agricultural and suburban development swallowed great swaths of woodlands. As early as the 1950s, writers like Knoxville News-Sentinel’s Lucy Templeton, whose “A Country Calendar” often included reports and lore about whip-poor-wills, worried over their disappearance from local landscapes.

We’ve changed, too. Many people moved away from the rural towns where they grew up amid birdsong. In the suburbs that replaced bird habitats, we homogenized landscapes with decorative plants unwelcoming to whip-poor-wills. If whip-poor-wills seemed to abandon our world, we also abandoned theirs.

To describe the human consequences of species decline, the lepidopterist Robert Michael Pyle coined the term “extinction of experience,” an ecological insight gained through his own moments of loss. 

[scorpiussage]

NSFW Alphabet - Johnathan Crane (Scarecrow) 

- I’m not much of a DC fan so this is entirely based off the Nolan movies and what we see of Cillian Murphy’s Scarecrow 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Not an aftercare man at all. For real, you’d be lucky if he stayed in bed next to you after he’s done fucking you - he’s busy and got things to do and places to be. 

But, I think that if you caught him at a vulnerable moment (Scarecrow giving him extra grief or him struggling with the Batman) he might indulge in some cuddling but it would be very short lived and he’d expect you to never bring it up again.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Loves someone with a brilliant mind, body doesn’t matter to him at all. He just wants someone who’s crazy matches his crazy. 

He’s literally so vain though, like he will not leave the house unless he looks perfect and put together. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t really have much of a preference to where he cums, just that he does. Most of the time it’ll be in you but he has been known to like to finish on your face from time to time. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Scarecrow is obv his big secret, but I think that if he took the time to pursue a relationship with you, it would be because both him and Scarecrow are attracted to you. So that might be a dirty secret of his, that he likes to let the other guy take control some times so that he can get his quality time in with you too.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, he’s always been a huge dork and also very career driven so he’s never put any time into having sex. That said, he’s incredibly knowledgeable about the human body so even though he’s not very experienced, he knows all the best places to touch you.

F = Favourite Position (idk the names of any sex positions so Im just going try and describe them)

Johnathan is a massive control freak and so his favorite positions are all ones that put him in control of you. You on your knees with your face pressed into the mattress and your hands tied behind your back is a particular favorite of his. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is literally not capable of being goofy and silly. It’s just not who he is. So sex will always be incredibly intense and serious.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Not very intimate nor romantic (though he could be if he wanted to, he just doesn’t want to) 

Don’t get it twisted though, he’s possessive and even though he may not show his affections like other people, you belong to him and he’ll remind you of it regularly. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t masturbate beyond getting excess energy out. He’s not got the time for that.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s got a huge doctor/patient kink to the point he’d convince you to get admitted to Arkham so that he could be your doctor and “give you treatments” 😉 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His office at Arkham or whatever seedy warehouse he’s using that week, he’s not picky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Control and fear are pretty obvious motivators for him. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything church or religion related is a big yikes to him. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He will only give you head if it means a new way to dominate and control you into doing something he wants. That’s just sort of his personality. 

He’s personally pretty eh about receiving. It feels good and makes him cum, but he could also get that from fucking you so it’s not a necessity.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Not slow or fast so much as brutal and intense. Getting fucked by Johnathan is absolutely world ending and also too much. You’ll only be able to handle one round at a time from him. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not one for quickies usually just because he’s very work focused and you absolutely will not tear him away from whatever new thing he’s doing. He has allotted time set aside to fuck you and he will not do it outside of that time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves taking risks, it’s sort of his whole thing because there’s a tie in to fear. You have to be someone who will go along with whatever he wants because if you don’t, he’ll get bored with you very fast.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Average stamina. He could probably do sexathons but he doesn’t have the time for that, his experiments take priority. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys personally but if you own them, he’ll for sure use them on you regularly. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nothing would turn him on more than teasing you to the point of tears. He’s an absolute sadist about that and he’s unapologetic about it too. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, actually very quiet but when Scarecrow is in the drivers seat, he does a lot of dirty talk. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s the kind of man who loves one and only one. So if you start a relationship with him, there’s no ending that relationship, you’re his forever. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Long and average width. Cock size doesn’t matter with a guy like this, he’ll make you cum regardless. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty low sex drive, he’s not really someone who spends a lot of time thinking about sex. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t sleep until he’s certain he’s in a safe location. So unless you do it at his place, he’s not one to fuck and then immediately fall asleep. 

[mortispoxi]

After taking the time to really sit and process the roller coaster of information that was the recent People Make Games video about the drama surrounding Studio ZA/UM, I wanted to make this post to go over some of my thoughts that I had about the video. If you have not watched the video but are curious what people are saying about it or you have and you want to read someone else’s perspective, then I invite you to read through as I babble incoherently.

Overall, I thought it provided an interesting, in-depth look at the timeline of events leading up to Kurvitz, Rostov, and Hindpere’s dismissals while also giving us a proper inside scoop to the interpersonal relationships of both the former and current Studio ZA/UM employees. However, I do think the video has a couple of problems specifically with the way some of the information is presented on top of the fact that it loses focus partway through from the real issue which is the alleged fraud that took place by the investors to acquire the majority share within the company.

A big problem that I had with the video was the way in which Kurvitz behavior and final statement are disproportionately framed in the narrative. Now I am not about to go on a lengthy rant to dismiss everything Robert Kurvitz did to his friends during his time at the studio. In fact, the thing that I really liked about this video was how Chris Bratt, the writer and interviewer, holds no punches when it comes to the accusations of misconduct we heard from current Studio ZA/UM employees against him. Instead, I think it needs to be addressed that Bratt left out background context, whether intentionally or unintentionally I do not want to speculate, that could potentially explain what happened to everyone leading up to the expulsions to make Kurvitz appear far worse than how he might’ve been. I fully believe every word Argo Tuulik, Kaspar Tamsula, and Petteri Sulonen has said about working under Kurvitz and his inner circle so by piecing together all their statements to create a timeline of events the investors start to look far less innocent than how they portray themselves to be in the video.

It’s abundantly clear that Kurvitz was notoriously hard to work with. However, what’s also clear was the tremendous amount of stress everyone was under while also still being in the throes of burnout after working on the game nonstop for months. I think the investors (Kender, Haavel, and Kompus) purposefully set the team up for failure by creating impossible deadlines without informing the writers, approving Kurvitz and his inner circle to take time off while disallowing the others from taking theirs, and attempting to restructure the company in preparation to franchise Disco Elysium against Kurvitz wishes and thus he felt scared enough to push for his role to be de facto creative leader anywhere he could. What seems to be three full years of forcing everyone to crunch, miscommunicating when important deadlines were, setting impossible work standards to meet, and readying themselves to snatch more power within the company may have helped sow the seeds of animosity the writers began growing towards one another.

All of this is nothing new for those of us who have been keeping an eye on the drama from the start. We were told long in advance by the likes of Martin Luiga, who although left the project early on has been friends and worked alongside him for the better part of two decades, that Kurvitz possesses less than stellar leadership skills and that there was no merit in what the investors would end up accusing him of doing to warrant his dismissal. That confirmation was given long before the release of the PMG video and cements the idea in my mind that perhaps Kurvitz erratic behavior that was described by the current Studio ZA/UM employees was not the cause but rather a symptom of a much larger problem happening around him (i.e. a toxic work environment brought on by the investors using manipulation tactics to further stress and cause resentment amongst the collective). Yes, Kurvitz was at times uncooperative and dismissive towards his fellow employees, but this aspect of his character and the situation was played up to be a far greater problem in the PMG video than what the context suggests. I’m also inclined to believe this interpretation because Argo Tuulik, despite having legitimate, unresolved issues with his friend, does still regard Kurvitz very highly and even believes that he should still have artistic access to Elysium.  

When you think about it from this perspective, it makes perfect sense as to why Kurvitz was acting erratically around his fellow coworkers who eventually lashed out at him. On top of Kurvitz’s subpar leadership skills, he clearly was rapidly losing control of the situation which caused a great amount of stress for everybody involved as he scrambled in every which way to hold onto his position within the studio. It does not surprise me when it’s admitted by Sulonen that Kurvitz was thinking of taking the source code to potentially start over with a newly founded company since the situation was rapidly deteriorating and everyone was getting more and more frustrated with him and his inner circle. The impossible working conditions they found themselves in was a pressure cooker for the animosity and resentment building within the disillusioned group. Clearly the investors made their workers run themselves ragged in order to divide everyone and make it easier for them to take advantage of Kurvitz’s now frequent outbursts to finally push him out of their way.

Everything that I’ve said above can easily be discerned from the context clues found in the interviews from the current and former ZA/UM members. Which if you think about it is an unfortunate statement because Bratt does not seem to register the complaints of mismanagement by the hands of the investors from either side and instead only points the spotlight at Kurvitz’s past transgressions. What I am describing is one of the major issues I have with the PMG video. The video talking about the ongoing legal battle to determine if corporate fraud took place seemed to disproportionately focus on the problems Kurvitz and his inner circle had with other team members and not issuing a public apology to his former colleagues. Now that doesn’t sound all too bad on paper, right? If Kurvitz apologized, it could help begin the healing process and make for a good closer for the video. Well, that’s where the problem comes into play because Kurvitz response to Bratt’s request for comment regarding what Tuulik, Tamsalu, and Sulonen said about his poor conduct should not come as a surprise to anyone who had been paying attention. In the video, Bratt hails the email Kurvitz sent back to him as arrogant and dismissive which he then uses to accuse him of not standing with his fellow workers in solidarity and not taking accountability for his actions. However, right at the start of his interview, Kurvitz informs Bratt that at the behest of his lawyers he does not want the full interview to be published as they are worried Studio ZA/UM might take something he said as an admission of guilt and use it against him in a court of law. Therefore, when asked to comment about what his former colleagues said about him, he fires back an email that basically says that he wants the focus to be on the thing that really matters, the lawsuits and the shady activities of the investors. Bratt, clearly not liking his response, decided to attack his statement even though had Kurvitz given PMG what they wanted he could potentially be incriminating himself. Whether he denies or fully understands that his actions hurt others, the way he responded is 100% justified and did not deserve the level of vitriol he got from both Bratt and the public. It seems like a double standard that Ilmar Kompus can deny answering a question by claiming he cannot comment due to the ongoing lawsuit during his interview but when Kurvitz does it for the exact same reasons he is attacked. Again, Kurvitz is fully responsible to rectify the hurt he caused others but legally he’s in the clear and Bratt seemed to purposely neglect that aspect of the ongoing narrative.

Now, I’m not about to pull a whole reddit conspiracy in my write up. I do believe Chris Bratt, who directed this video, went into this with the very best of intentions to tell the full story with an emphasis on the workers who were affected by the situation. However, the problems that I’ve listed above make me worry what will be the takeaway from someone who is only a casual observer of the ZA/UM situation. Personally, I have been following this from the beginning so I’ve had a lot of time to develop my own insight into things but that’s usually not the case for most people. What I’m concerned about is whether Bratt may have unintentionally furthered the investors narrative by pushing people’s focus away from themselves and onto Kurvitz who has largely had the support of fans and outside viewers up until this point. Studio ZA/UM as it stands is desperate for a leg up in the PR battle it’s had with Kurvitz since October 1st, 2022. They lost so much support once the announcement was made that Kurvitz and his inner circle had been terminated, and lost even more upon the release of collage mode, that it makes logical sense that they want more people to be on their side so when the time comes for the studio to announce another game their reviews and sales numbers won’t immediately be tanked by angry fans. So, the fact that this video seemingly only held its focus on the misgivings of Kurvitz closing statement and personality instead of what is actually being fought over, alleged corporate fraud and theft of IP, may have unwittingly handed the investors that distraction that they have been looking for. Since the release of this video, I’ve seen an unfortunate mix of people arguing over the ethics of the situation, those switching sides to now support the studio, and outright calling for Kurvitz to lose the right to access his life’s work. This is not the outcome me and many other like minded fans want to see from this mess. At the end of the day, Elysium is Robert Kurvitz’s life work, and he deserves a chance to legally regain those rights even if he is a prideful and arrogant person. His personality should not dictate whether he is allowed to prove in a court of law that the investors took something that isn’t theirs. Bratt’s well-meaning but deeply misguided efforts to report on the ZA/UM situation may have done more harm than good. I consider this to be the biggest flaw of the video and the reason why the contents ultimately did not sit right with me despite the accuracy and importance of the reporting.  

Just as a quick reminder for those who aren’t entirely up to speed or want a refresher, the reason why Kurvitz and Studio ZA/UM are fighting over the IP rights in the first place started when Kurvitz was promised by the investors that if he signed over the rights to Elysium and his book he would eventually be able to buy back a portion of the shares to the company and upon release of the sequel buy back even more. At no point was anyone supposed to possess a majority percent of the shares in the company to remain equitable amongst all participants. So, Kurvitz signed this contract under the assumption that the investors would hold up their end of the bargain while in the short term he would get the funding needed to complete the rest of the game. Unfortunately, when Margus Linnamäe left his position within the company, Ilmar Kompus agreed to buy him out of his share allegedly using the money intended to produce the sequel thus acquiring the majority share which tipped the balance of power. Now, the IP rights are currently held by the company YESSIRNOSIR Ltd. which no one holds shares of but is still owned and controlled by sources within Studio ZA/UM. The lawsuit itself is Kurvitz claiming that the way Kompus bought into the majority share of the company was done illegally and should he be able to prove in a court of law that fraud took place it would immediately delegitimize and invalidate Kompus’s control which would then give Kurvitz and Rostov a chance to reclaim power along with all the subsidiaries of the company which includes YESSIRNOSIR Ltd.

From the way I saw it, it certainly felt like Bratt went out of his way to put blame on the deteriorating work environment and splintering of a two-decade old artist collective squarely on Robert Kurvitz shoulders. If I were to speculate, I think in his anger after not receiving the conclusion he had been hoping for from his interviewee, Bratt refused to acknowledge the very real fact that his hands are legally tied with the things that he can publicly talk about which had the unintentional consequence of villainizing Kurvitz. Bratt is still correct in his assessment that Kurvitz is arrogant and people were hurt by his actions but whether intentional or not misrepresenting how much Kurvitz and his inner circle was responsible for the strife while neglecting to even acknowledge the amount of meddling the investors were doing behind the scenes only detracts from his argument and puts into question who he’s really representing in his video.

[sinnasfanficcafe]

Growing Pains : Prologue

(Draco Malfoy X Reader)

Disclaimer: This story is set in the AU created by the SuperCarlinBrothers where Harry is sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor. Reader is female & a Hufflepuff, also the title is a work in progress. May keep it as Growing Pains, may not.

Synopsis: 'Your strange relationship with Draco Malfoy began in your third year at Hogwarts, but it ended as quickly as it had begun. The reason for this was never clear and it plagued your thoughts ever since, however when you return to school for the next year, Draco wriggles his way back into your life, but things are different this time'.

This fanfic is a slow burn following your's and Draco's relationship from when you first meet in your third year (prologue) to the end of the book series (final chapter). Also, as mentioned in the disclaimer, this story is set in the AU created by the SuperCarlinBrothers where Harry is sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor. If you haven't see those videos please check it out as it will make this fic make a lot more sense. With that, I hope you enjoy!

Content Warnings: Foul language, physical contact (kissing mostly), angst, Draco being a bit of a creep and a dickhead initially when him and reader first meet, mentions of the term 'mudblood'.

Word Count: 4,354

Genre: Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, AU, X Reader

Your relationship with Draco Malfoy had always been convoluted to say the least. It infuriated you, trying to decipher everything he did; his soft and sweet nature when he spoke to you, contrasting the cold shoulder he offered when around the other Slytherins. Since the two of you met, things had always been this way and only grew more frustratingly confusing over time.

You had initially met during your second year at Hogwarts. It was brief, accidental.

The halls were cramped, the mass of bodies writhing as students attempted to get to their next class. Your house, Hufflepuff, attended classes with Ravenclaw, leading to a friendship sparking between you and the slightly strange Luna Lovegood. Despite the reputation she had already acquired, you thought she was wonderful company. There was always something to talk about with Luna. The conversations never dipped or dulled.

The two of you had been discussing taking Care of Magical Creatures next year as you were a muggle born witch and found the multitude of creatures the wizarding world had lurking across the globe to be fascinating. Gradually, the crowd grew frustrated and began to push and shout, causing you to lose your footing, stumbling into another body as your skull collided with theirs.

“Watch where you’re going! Did your parents not teach you about personal space?”, a boy spat, a vicious venom in his tone. Wincing from the sharp searing pain blossoming across the right side of your forehead, you finally opened your eyes and locked eyes with him.

Your heart seemed to serge into life, giving a prominent thud against your ribcage, while simultaneously feeling as though it had skipped a beat. You felt breathless and weightless. It was a feeling that was difficult to describe. You had been on roller coasters before, and that was the only thing you could compare it to. It scared you for a moment, unsure how to react.

You scanned his features; platinum blonde hair slicked back, looking as though each strand was practically glued down to his scalp, grey eyes with tinges of blue, pink tinted cheeks and Slytherin robes.

You only managed to mumble out a small ‘Sorry’ before scrambling to get out of his line of vision, quickly continuing on your way to potions class, Luna following at your heals.

That initial meeting had sparked something in you.

You didn’t see Draco Malfoy again until the end of the year. After hearing the whispers and rumors that riddled everyone’s conversations about how Draco had been taken into the Chamber of Secrets and how his housemate Harry Potter saved him, seeing the blonde in a shaken and unsettled state in the Great Hall before the summer holiday was somewhat depressing. He continued to make jabs at others, making jokes and such, but you noticed he never actually laughed. Not once. He was putting on a front. A shell of his former self.

After the summer break, things had changed for everyone. The boys came back taller, some broader, some with faint traces of facial hair. The girls came back taller too, some wearing makeup now, some having learnt how to style their hair. You were no exception, getting compliments from your fellow housemates, such as Hannah and Susan, about how pretty you looked at dinner during your first night back. It did feel like more eyes were on you than usual which, you were reluctant to admit, felt good.

You glanced around the hall, soaking up the atmosphere, happy to have returned to what had become your second home. The smell of the food, the chatter of friends catching up, first years buzzing with excitement to socialise with their new housemates, and then through the crowd you spot a pair of eyes staring at you. That same cold stormy colour you had seen last year. From the opposite side of the hall, you spot Malfoy. Upon your lines of site meeting, he instantly tears his gaze away. And there it was again, that same feeling from the first time the two of you had met. The rest of dinner was tense, you and Draco stealing glances at each other every so often. Although, with Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban and the dementors patrolling the grounds, everyone was feeling tense .

Later that year was when the two of you officially met.

You were in the library, scouring shelves for a book to help you with the goblin rebellions you had been studying in your History of Magic lessons. You were secure with the basic facts, yet you struggled with the smaller details that occurred during the time period. You had hoped to find a book solely on the topic which in turn would hopefully delve into the rebellions in greater detail, instead of repeatedly searching through the generalised texts found in your class textbook.

It was quiet, the occasional murmur and flipping of pages filled the air along with the musty smell of books and fresh parchment. There was a group somewhere closer to the library entrance that you could hear,  completely disregarding the idea of the library being a silent place of study; their faint giggles, laughter and chatter carried all the way to you, hidden away between the bookshelves. Along with their cacophony of noise, you hear footsteps  here and there, one set approaching your Isle, another heading for the door. Some slower some faster.

You’re muttering to yourself about the options displayed before you, debating which ones would be the most useful, until your thoughts are abruptly silenced as someone pressed against your back; their pectorals against your shoulders, their breath against the back of your head, their cologne, deep, rich, expensive. You spring away, turning on the spot before backing yourself against the shelves. It is then revealed who was behind you, now just inches away, their arm just above your head pinning you in place.

Draco Malfoy.

“What are you doing?”, you blurt out, your eyes wide and cheeks burning as you glance up to meet his gaze. He had grown over the summer. He was now an inch taller than you.

“Just getting a book”, he smirked, pulling out a thick leather bound book from just above your head as his eyes trailed over you, a flicker of a frown appearing before it was quickly replaced with that same smug look from moments before.

“You could have just asked me to move”, you huffed, which only caused Draco’s smirk to grow into a taunting grin.  

“I’m Malfoy. Draco Malfoy”, he introduced himself, holding out his hand to you. You eyed it cautiously, wondering what he was up to, yet against your better judgement placed your hand in his. His hands were surprisingly soft, as if he hadn’t done a day’s work in his life, but his skin was cold. Before you could register what was occurring, he had flipped your hand in his and placed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. You quickly snatched your hand back, mortified, and hurried down the Isle away from the blonde, your knuckles burning from the contact. But to your embarrassment, Draco had followed you.

“You do know it’s rude to leave mid conversation”, he grumbled. You turn on your heels to face him once again, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach this time.

“What do you want?”, you ask, attempting to sound as calm as possible.

“I just want to talk. Is that a crime?”, he shrugged casually, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You look like a deer in headlights”, he chuckled to himself. “Like a rabbit being stared down by a fox-“.

“Okay, you want to talk. Let’s talk”, you cut him off, which you were sure he’d sneer at. But to your surprise, he didn’t.

“What’s your name?”, he asked, cocking his head to one side.

“Y/N Y/L/N”, you answered simply.

“I’ve noticed how you stare at me during dinner”.

“Trying to act as if you weren’t the one caught staring first?”, you shot back, causing Draco to let out a scoff of amusement.

“You’re feisty for a Hufflepuff. Not meek and mild like the others”. This comment caused your expression to sour, and you sidestepped the Slytherin to leave, but Draco had grabbed you by the wrist. “Hey, where are you going?”.

“We’ve talked haven’t we?”, you rolled your eyes, once again turning back to face him. Now fed up, you asked, exasperated, “Draco, what do you really want?”.

“I just think you’re attractive”, he confessed, your cheeks heating up as he tugged you a little closer to him. “And judging by that reaction”, he spoke softly, stroking your cheek with the knuckle of his index finger, “You must think the same about me”. You had to swallow the saliva that had built up. You tried to stop your hands from trembling and you couldn’t understand why he had this effect on  you. “What I would give to have a pretty thing like you on my arm”, he practically whispered in your ear which caused you to snatch your hand away from his, storming off without saying another word, leaving him between the bookshelves, alone.

After that, you and Draco had two more interactions of a similar nature. The first was the Friday following, where he had once again been watching you during dinner. Once your eyes had settled upon him, he looked you up and down before throwing a wink at you and biting his lip just to tease you, which left you in a dizzying daze for the rest of the night.

The second happened the weekend after. You were relaxing and reading a book you had brought from home- a muggle book. You had settled down by the whomping willow to get some peace from the bustling Hufflepuff common room, wrapped in your thick cosy Hufflepuff scarf and jumper, although that peace was short lived as Malfoy had managed to find you. You had no clue how, but before you could question him, he had sat himself down, draping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close. “What are you doing out here, Y/L/N? Aren’t you cold? You could always borrow my jumper if you want”, he offered as your nostrils were filled with the scent of his cologne once again. He teased you about reading muggle literature for a bit, calling it ‘crap’, which you disregarded as him joking around. However, despite this, you both held a conversation this time; asking each other about your interests and such. You explain how you enjoyed muggle literature because you had grown up reading it, so it brought you comfort, and then proceeded to delve into a conversation on how your favourite lesson was Herbology, (leaving out the detail of your parents also being muggles, since you knew many Slytherins were obsessed with ‘pureblood’ and you didn’t want to open  the floodgates to that conversation of discourse with Draco just yet). Suprisingly, he returned your openness, explaining how he was- to his surprise- enjoying the Care of Magical Creatures class and how when he was very young, he used to make biscuits with his mother, who sends him a batch once a month. He had a nostalgic look settle over his features at the memory. As you were looking at him, studying his features, that roller coaster like feeling returned again.

The following day, as you sat at the long stretch of table for breakfast, you recalled to Hannah and Cedric how Draco had been acting around you. “What a twat”, Cedric scoffed in disbelief at your recall of how he had introduced himself as he ate the last morsel of his scrambled egg from his plate.

“I know right!”, Hannah joined, “Who does he think he is?”.

“I’ll admit though, that move with the hand kiss was pretty suave”, Cedric laughed. “The kid’s got confidence”.

You silently sipped your tea in response, unsure what to make of the situation. Your head was swimming with questions and part of you questioned whether or not all the meetings that had occurred between you and the Slytherin had been some strange hallucination. A pure figment of your imagination. After all, Draco had been the last person you had expected to ever show a romantic interest in you.

“Well, I’m off. I’ll see you both later”, Cedric beamed before drumming on the table with his hands and standing to leave.

“Oh! Cedric! Wait a second!”, Hannah shot up from the table, almost bashing her knees on the underside and sending a tremor across the giant slab of wood, before jogging to catch up with Cedric, leaving you alone.

You continued to munch on your toast, absentmindedly staring at the table as you did so, lost in your thoughts, until you heard the fluttering of paper wings. You look up just in time to watch as an enchanted paper crane lands on the table in front of you. Glancing around in attempts to find the sender, your eyes instantly fall on Malfoy. After the incident that occurred in the library, you had assumed he was the sender. He was standing from his place at the Slytherin table, dusting his robes from any crumbs.

You cautiously open the piece of paper, curiosity gnawing away at you, to reveal pristine cursive handwriting.

‘Meet me on the edge of the Forbidden Forest next to Hagrid’s Hut during lunch’.

You felt your heart leap into your throat  as you felt your stomach flip. You scrunched up the paper and shoved it into the pocket of your robes just as Hannah returned to the table, taking a seat with a huff. “Sorry about that. We were talking about that pompous Malfoy boy, right?”.

During lunch, you had done just as the note had said and made your way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Your stomach was churning, your heart was pounding and you felt sick with nerves. Under any other circumstances, these feelings would have been unwanted, yet it was somewhat... pleasant? Thrilling even?

The only sounds out by Hagrid’s Hut was the tweeting of birds, the gentle caws of Buckbeak and the rustling of leaves. It was tranquil out here and you made a mental note to return here when you needed a break from the busy school. As you approached the edge of the forest, you spotted a crop of almost white hair. You locked your eyes onto the icy grey ones that sent shivers up your spine. He flashed that signature smirk your way before disappearing behind the treeline, leaving you to chase after him, following the hint of Slytherin robes that bellowed out from behind him.

As you weaved wearily between the trees, twigs snapping beneath your soles, you remained alert, glancing in every direction before your world went black.

“Guess who”, you felt him whisper against your ear, causing you to jump slightly which amused Draco greatly. You could feel him laugh against you, the rumble deep within his chest against your back.

“Why did you ask me to meet you here?”, you asked, finding yourself laughing along with him, much to your suprise. Draco paused, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek before diverting his gaze.

“Can’t have anyone spotting us, can we”, he spoke in a matter of fact tone, turning his attention back towards you.

You can’t deny, upon hearing this, you felt as if Malfoy had jammed a dagger into your heart and twisted it. He was embarrassed to be seen with you. But then again, what did you expect from a pureblood Slytherin. You should have left him in the dense woodland without another word. You should have saved yourself the heartbreak. But you were young, naive and somewhat selfish. You wanted him for yourself, and if that meant secret meetings within the Forbidden Forest , so be it.

And it was there in the forest that you shared your first kiss. It was surprisingly tender and, in contrast to his hands, his lips were warm. You had expected them to also hold a chill to them, but they didn’t. He snaked his hands around your waist, pulling you in close until your chests were pressed against each other’s. You could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, just below where you had placed your hands against his chest, and he tasted like mint. Spear mint. You spent the rest of your lunch break with Malfoy propped up against a tree and you in his lap, his hands resting on your hips and his teeth occasionally nibbling at your ear, jaw, neck and bottom lip while he told you how pretty you were.

“Prettiest Hufflepuff in the school”, he purred, playing with a strand of your hair.

This happened a few times, lunch breaks hidden away from the eyes of your peers and teachers. The two of you fuelling each other’s egos with sweet whispers in secret that never seemed to seeped below the surface. You’d tell him how powerful and handsome he was and in return he’d tell you how you were the prettiest girl in the school. Yet, you never mentioned how you had grown- in your short time together- to adore his smile, or how the sound of his laugh sparked a flame in you like no other.

But things changed when he found you crying under the shelter of a tree one rainy Wednesday.

It was your scheduled day to meet up, yet things hadn’t gone according to plan for you. During your morning break a member of the Slytherin House had overheard you discussing with Luna about how you had to explain to your parents who Sirius Black was, and what him breaking into the castle meant for you students. You were in the midst of explaining to Luna that because your family were muggles you often had to do this, while simultaneously not knowing much about the wizarding world yourself, that the Slytherin was prompted to torment you about your blood status.

“That’s why mudbloods are the weakest people. You hardly know the knowledge that us purebloods have had since birth. If I were you, I wouldn’t have even bothered coming to Hogwarts. I doubt you’ll be able to pass a single class”. The use of the term ‘Mudblood’ made your breath catch in your throat as pure hot rage began to bubble to the surface. You had heard the term thrown around before and knew what it meant, but this was the first time anyone had used the term to address you.

You bit back, “What does it matter? I know for a fact I’m probably doing better than you in most classes, so what does that say about your ‘pureblood mind-set’”. Meanwhile, Luna tugged at the cuff of your sleeve, saying it would be best to just leave him be.

“There’s no sense in arguing with those sorts. Their brains are mush and can’t be changed”, she spoke softly.

“Shut it, Looney Lovegood”, the boy spat back. “I’m not going to bother wasting my breath on vermin that don’t even deserve to be alive”, he growled before spitting on you, leaving a thick glob of saliva on the front of your robes, and turning to leave. But it was as he was leaving that it dawned on you why you recognised their features... It was Gregory Goyle, one of Draco’s best friends. Someone he had been close with since their first year at Hogwarts. Why he hung around with anyone like this you couldn’t tell. And at once, like a fuse being tripped , it suddenly all made sense. The jokes Draco had made about muggles, they were his genuine feelings towards them. He hadn’t been teasing you.

Tears of frustration filled your vision, brimming over your eyes and threatening to fall as you fled to the one place you knew you could be left in solitude to cry in peace. Luna called after you, but you didn’t turn back. Not for a second.

Rage and frustration singed every nerve in your body. Your tears had now fallen, running down your cheeks leaving hot wet tracks in their wake, your sniffling being drowned out my the sound of the rain. You wanted to hurt Gregory. You wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt you. To prove how wrong he was... and you were mad at Malfoy. The nerve he had to pursue anything with you when he supported those beliefs...

“Are you okay?”, his voice made you physically curl in on yourself. You held your tongue, feeling not blessing him with a response was punishment enough. That and you feared that opening that line of communication would release the tsunami of emotion which would ultimately display just how attached you were becoming to the Slytherin. He slowly edge closer before settling himself next to you. “Are you going to talk or sit there and sulk”, he huffed, yet despite the harsh tone, there was no venom to it. No bite.

“Goyle called me a mudblood”, you broke your silence with a pained murmer. “He’s your friend, isn’t he? Someone you’re close to”, you added, still not bothering to even look in Draco’s general vicinity. Especially when his silence only caused more tears to spill from your eyes.

“Do you think I’m a mudblood? Do you think I have dirty blood too?”, you sobbed, crying into the sleeve of your jumper, feeling your heart clenching in anguish.  

The pureblood Slytherin prince then surprised you when he placed his arm around you, like he had so many times before, and pulled you in to him, allowing you to cry into the side of his robes. “No... I don’t think you’re dirty”, was all he managed to choke out.

The rest of that lunch, you spent cuddled up listening to the pitter patter of the rainfall, away from the rest of the school, from the opposing houses you had been placed in and from the role Draco had been given to play as the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, a pureblood Slytherin. You let your guard down and allowed yourself to find comfort in his embrace, his scent, the soft sound of his breathing and the gentle hums he offered as comfort.

You met up once more after that before the dementors attacked during the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch match. This time was different. Draco was a lot more talkative. Between moments of sweet stolen kisses, he would ask you questions; How were your classes going? What had your boggart  been in your Defence Against The Dark Arts class? What were your plans for Christmas? You in turn asked him the same questions, as well as wishing him luck on his quidditch game.

Then a couple of days later you had heard about what occurred on the pitch. Both Draco and Harry had fallen from their brooms during the quidditch match. It had been a dementor attack. A sickening pit formed at the bottom of your stomach and you felt as though the life had been temporarily drained from you. That evening, you visited Draco in the hospital wing while the others were at dinner. He seemed thankful you were there, yet simultaneously tense, eyes darting from you to the door every so often.

“I can leave, Draco”, you spoke with a sombre tone, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I know you don’t want anyone seeing us together”, you added as you reached out to adjust the curtain surrounding one side of his bed to seclude you more. Thankfully, Harry had been asleep when you entered the room earlier, otherwise that could have been an awkward conversation you’d have to address, knowing Harry would discuss with your mutual friends how he had seen you at Draco’s bedside.

“No! Please. Stay”, he pleaded softly, squeezing your hand back with a sad smile. “I like having you around. It’s a nice change of pace”, he soothed as his thumb gently rubbed the back of your hand and at that moment it felt as though your soul was singing.

Then it all abruptly ended the next day.

“I don’t think we should see each other like this anymore”. You stood dumbfounded amongst the trees of the Forbidden Forest for a moment. It was as though all the happiness from your world was being drained. Slowly and agonisingly. You were back on that roller coaster, but this time the drop was too harsh. Your throat was dry and your chest ached. 

“What?”, was all you managed to utter out, truly caught off guard by the sudden declaration.

“I don’t think this will last”, he stated plainly, which left you at a true loss for words. He was still scratched up from yesterday and looked as though he hadn’t slept properly.

“Oh...”, was all you’d managed to say.

The two of you stood silently, you staring at Draco and him staring at the ground, kicking snow that had fallen and settled over night with  the toe of his shoe gently. You were searching his face for a trace of something. Anything. Anything that would tell you why he had changed his mind so suddenly to the point it practically gave you whiplash. Draco Malfoy was an enigma to you, and he forever would be. When he finally looked you in the eyes, he remained silent, not gracing you with an explanation or an apology. Nothing.

 “Well... thank you for telling me”, your tone was plain, void of emotion. You were genuinely confused by the abrupt end to whatever the two of you had brewing between you.

With that, you left the Forbidden Forest, confused, cold and a little numb, and leaving Draco behind in the shadows.

For the rest of the year, you tried not to think about the Slytherin that sat on the opposite side in the Great Hall every day. And you tried your best to forget everything else; his kisses, his touch, his smell, his eyes, his smile, his voice... everything.

You tried to forget everything.

You tried to forget Draco Malfoy.