#satan take the wheel but literally

[tasveer-e-ishq]

spn writers always try and squeeze in all characters in one episode like their life depends on it FUKKKK ... why satan da bus driver all of da sudden 😐

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Easter Panic: Mc get´s turned into a Rabbit and the Brothers have to take care of them

Lucifer:

would you finally stop biting him? he knows you don´t like getting picked up but he has to get you home somehow

he has to watch you even more, not only are you tiny but incredibly fast

and still as attached to Cerberus than before

good for everybody involved Cerberus knows it´s you and refuses to let anybody near you and with everybody I mean everybody

he actually had to fight Cerberus to get you back

and after that he never let you go, no matter how many times you bite him

but after getting some bunny treats he at least managed to keep you calm enough so he can do his paperwork (and pet you)

Mammon:

of course the Great Mammon will take care of Mc!

… which he definitely doesn´t want to do because your even cuter now and can easily spoil you

he got you tiny matching glasses, I mean he could also get you your normal size copy of his glasses but that would just be silly

you will be a very spoiled bun

he will get literally anything a bunny could ever want doesn´t matter what it is or that they don´t even know how long you will stay one

he bought you so many treats and even bought you a hamster wheel for a reason

he also refuses to let anybody pet you, besides himself of course

and maybe tried to dress you up like him

Leviathan:

no matter what he will try to teach you how to play games because, he can´t live without his gaming buddy!

he also tried making you a tiny Ruri-chan outfit, you did not wear it but you did sleep on the tiny Azuki-tan pillow he made

he also took a bunch of pictures of you

he also tried to let you swim in one of his tanks, you panicked and bite him needless to say it was a mistake

he did manage to teach you how to play chill games

every time you manged to finished a task he cheered you on

Satan:

depressed by the fact you didn´t turn into a cat

he did try to turn you into a Cat before Lucifer stopped him

he also gave you some Cat toys to play with because he didn´t have time to buy you Rabbit toys

but he did take a bunch of pictures when you decided to play with a ball of yarn

he also used you as a anti-stress ball but all he did was squish your cheeks

he was a little bit calmer that day and even listened to Lucifer once

everybody was shocked at this

Asmodeus:

he made you so many tiny outfits for you to model in

and of course one or two will be uploaded to his Devilgram

but the majority of them are just for him, I mean it itsn´t everyday your favorite Human get´s turned into a Bunny and can´t defend themself

this is the only chance he has to dress you up and he will take it no matter what form you have

but he will cuddle with you a lot

and with a lot I mean he carries you around like a purse dog

the only reason he doesn´t use a baby carries is that he couldn´t find one who looked fashionable and fit his outfit

Beelzebub:

he was concerned when he was told to look after you

considering all he could think about while seeing you were all kinds of recipes featuring Rabbits

but he never tried to eat you, he did eat Rabbit meat in front of you thought which did unnerve you a little bit

but he also ate the Rabbit food, which he can´t be blamed for considering unlike other pet food it seems like something that could be eaten

he also made little dumbbells for you because he wanted you to keep up with your training

for some reason you could actually use them and now Beel has a picture of a rabbit using dumbbells

Belphegor:

he just takes naps with you

you either got your own little spot on the bad or just have to cuddle with him

it also doesn´t help that you got very comfortable fur

during those times he carries you around like he does with his pillow

he also acts like your his pillow

which means you´ll have to stay still for hours or end or be forced to take a bunch of naps

or you get lucky and have the rare chance to struggle free without him immediately catching you again

he will be very sad when you turn back

he lost his newest favorite pillow D:

[pro-mammonologist]

I have been fantasizing NONSTOP about Lucifer discovering all of MC’s kinks. Like okay with all the brothers it’s like fun and stuff sure

Like with mammon, he’s shook cuz whaaaat you’re kinky??? Levi is like “omgomgomgomgtheyrelikemeomgomg” Satan isn’t all that surprised but he’s interested in hearing what he didn’t already surmise. Will tease you a little bit. Asmo is literally so excited he’s jumping. Not embarrassing for you to reveal your kinks more like watching his reactions is giving you second hand embarrassment. Beel is like “oh wow you like that. Oh I like that one! Okay :)”. Belphie is a little teasing but he’s half asleep and he’s definitely snuck into your dreams to figure out what you like anyway

BUT LUCIFER. LUCIFER. Lucifer has his assumptions sure… but he needs the confirmation. Lucifer can’t help but slowly start to grin and it only gets bigger as you react to his amused poker face. He’s not hiding that he’s planning everything out in his head as you can explain, you can practically see the wheels turn in his eyes. Then you start to trail off so he GETS CLOSER and softly encourages you to continue, seeing that it’s the perfect opportunity to get as much eye contact as possible. Then when you start to tell him “stop doing that” he doesn’t change his expression at all and instead “I’m not doing anything. What do you mean?” And you’re about to explode so what does he do???? He grabs you by the chin with his glove on and pulls you to face him really close. You think he’s trying to kiss you but instead he just keeps you there and laughs to himself.

And what’s your current status? A puddle. Melted. And if you have the courage to continue (which you don’t) he keeps trying to embarrass you. But don’t worry, after you fall apart and get pulled back together again, he takes the approach of being more mature and less dommy and more of the trying to listen and not seduce path. But he sure is thinking about how easily you melted and how badly he wants to do it again. But he’ll be nice this time.

Not next time.

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Hear me out. Mammon steals from MC to replace things with his own. MC gets a hoodie from Beel? Oh looks like it got lost in the wash but don't worry babe Mammon has one that you can borrow! Asmo got formal wear from one of his sponsors and gave it to MC? Nah nah MC you need something tailored to your taste like this! ....Mammon just conveniently has a matching suit to pair with it. He can hide that poor offering from Asmo deep in the closet.

Sorry to say this anon, like I get the sentiment, but it ain't cute.

Taking gifts someone's been given and replacing it with things you got them is still very Yikes™

It's also very underhanded/conniving/manipulative and those things won't allow you to be on equal ground in that relationship.

a.) Mammon can be underhanded, conniving & manipulative when he's running schemes & such but he's also a character who, when around the people he loves, wears his heart on his sleeve and expects everyone to do the same. To the point that in S2 when describing what each of the brothers are like MC says Mammon is "genuine and innocent"

b.) In Mammon's devilgram, Mammon the Butler he says he wants MC & him to be equals in their relationship

And of course, the most important part:

It's still MC's stuff at that point - things that'd have sentimental value to them and like I said in the previous post Mammon canonically does not steal from MC

In this post, I talked about how even though Mammon is possessive he's very respectful of the decisions MC makes regarding the others and their love - he may complain but he won't push.

The literal opposite of anon's headcanon is also true to canon:

a.) In Lucifer's 2020 Birthday event he and MC get matching necklaces/pendants

b.) In Lucifer's 2021 Birthday event Lucifer loses his necklace. Mammon spends time finding it, finds it with Cerberus and despite being scared of Cerberus and despite Cerberus reacting badly to anyone who's not Lucifer, Mammon goes through all the trouble to get it back

Also just because a person has matching things with someone else it doesn't diminish the fact that they also have matching things with you. Which is also part of canon;

a.) In S1, Mammon wants to get matching chocolate lizard keychains with MC but Satan & Lucifer also end up getting the same keychains which upsets Mammon. But in S2 it's revealed that Mammon's own chocolate lizard keychain is one of his favourite possessions because MC has one that matches it, even though Lucifer and Satan also have ones that match them.

Like with a lot of his personality traits, Mammon also seems to exaggerate just how possessive he is by being loud about it. Because:

a.) In Lucifer's You, Me and Devil's Coast Devilgram Mammon sets up a date for Lucifer and MC when tells him they want Lucifer to have fun too.

b.) In S2, Mammon hints at wanting to go to the dance with MC but doesn't ask. If they pretend they don't know what he's talking about he complains a bit but doesn't tell them and doesn't even ask them to the dance.

c.) In S2, if MC kisses Lucifer on the ferris wheel Mammon sees this and is upset but doesn't say a word.

[zoobus]

you're the new head writer of the obey me series- what's the first thing you're doing?

Assuming time travel to fix these things

Make Nightbringer (NB) Satan like that from the start

KEEP NB Satan like that. Stop giving him emotional growth after two fucking chapters. He wants to be bad!

Drop hints that Diavolo's goofy, male-big-boobed-extrovert energy is a facade. He's so lovable and I want to support every stupid idea he throws out - wouldn't it be great if he knew that? That you're taking the king of hell so lightly?

Make Lilith haunt the narrative. They fought a war against God for her and LOST and she does NOT matter.

^Part of the above. No one holds a grudge against Beel for not protecting the sole reason they went to war, which is bizarre and stupid. ALL of them hate him now. If only there was someone he could rely on...someone who could change their hearts

The dynamic between Barbatos and Solomon is good but the reason is dumb. Make it some The Devil Went Down to Georgia type shit

This is just me but I think it's funny every time they release a Lucifer or Diavolo card and the story makes you third wheel while they hug up on each other. I laugh and laugh and laugh. I would make Lucifer/Diavolo more overt. I would hammer home that you will never have what they share. There's nothing you have to offer that could compare. Go sit in the cuck chair.

Hornier events. I have my team of writers throw darts at the sex page on tvtropes and we work from there.

Belphegor gets his own rewrite section for reasons fans already know

my sister went to earth and broke a big rule by her own volition, thus I must genocide humanity -> my sister was charmed by a human who turned out to be a cultist that sacrificed her in an attempt to achieve immortality, thus I must genocide humanity*

Belphie murders you in front of the people who said they love you and they’re not mad at him once you’re all better -> Belphie murders you and they're still mad at him once you’re all better

The immediate conflict post Belphie-murdering-you-with-no-consequences is the brothers feeling kinda awkward and you have to help clear the air -> The immediate conflict post Belphie-murdering-you is the brothers giving him the cold shoulder. Belphie comes groveling to you to help clear the air (you will be railroaded into doing so, I'm fine with that)

You get one (1) dialogue option where you can mildly rebuke Belphie for successfully killing you -> You can tell Belphie to kill himself multiple times throughout the story if you so wish

Belphie drops the manipulative, homicidal psycho act for snarky, youngest brother and never looks back -> Belphie is a snarky youngest brother who regularly tries to manipulate you, occasionally expresses homicidal thoughts, and possibly leans towards yandere.

Just...stop it with the Anti-Lucifer Force. It's pathetic. We literally went from “successful murder attempt” to “hot sauce in wine” in half a chapter

*Racism is bad but at least let it be based on something?? His motive is like Adam starting a war against apples

[sabrondabrainrot]

I forget I can just ramble and rant my thoughts!

I try to focus on sharing just my art but I also do writing and try to have a bit of a critical mind when it comes to media I consume.

Now that it has been a few months since I watched all of TMNT 12 I do have some thoughts and opinions and kind of want to just ramble about it before I forget, in an informal manner.

I at first really liked it, it was the second TMNT show I watched after Rise, now that I've been watching the 87 and 03 shows my opinions on 12 did change just a bit but I still do like it!

Literally all the turtles are my son's now. Especially Leonardo (he's blue coded so-). I just think they're so cute and neat!!!

I'm going to put thoughts to spoiler stuff of 12 so if you plan to watch the show then don't click beyond this point!

🐢💙🐢♥️🐢🧡🐢💜

So in the last season of TMNT 12 it kind of feels like all the scrapped ideas or random plots that couldn't be fit into the prior seasons were put in this one? I really like the new op it gives of Cowboy Bebop vibes. The op song change is really nice to because I never really looked the tmnt 12 op song before.

However, the plots feel all over the place? There's a mini ark where they're jumping through time meeting Halloween monsters and then another ark where Mikey defeats Satan? Then we get another really tiring ark that's this implied alternate madmax fury road parody that is honestly so depressing? Donnie is just dead.

Which btw, the show likes killing ppl off for dramatic effect. They killed Master Splinter three times and had Mikey and Donnie get scattered to atoms on two separate occasions. I should also mention Leo was in a coma for 3 months with no IV or anything and he woke up relatively fine.

Anyways, going into the last season and stuff leading up to it... They kind of ended with the 87 turtles and the 12 boys finding new passion and inspiration from teaching the 87 boys. I didn't really vibe with it because it just made the 87s the butt of the joke and made them out to be incompetent silly little guys.

They ARE silly little guys but the thing is they're not incompetent. The 87 boys have done some insanely incredible things even when unarmed. Especially when unarmed. I actually think the angle of finding a new way to help people as a means to end the series on an inspired note is fine, the 87 boys even carried on the will and told Bebop and Rocksteady they can be more than Shredder's mutant henchmen. It is very cute and wholesome. I just think they could have maybe done it differently?

Why not set up for them to teach Chi arts? The turtles of 87 don't have any mystical abilities and it would have been interesting to do a set up like that? There are ways to write the finale without just dumping on the original source.

Focusing back on the ending of 12, we also leave on a seriously alarming note. It's just a big mixed bag. After Master Splinter went to run on the hamster wheel in the sky, Leonardo was handed the reigns of the family. He was told "You're the teacher now Leonardo. You're the father. Look after your brothers" and Splinter then willingly walked into his own death. I think the writers maybe thought this was amazing and inspirational or something but I found it incredibly messed up? We start tmnt 12 on all 4 boys birthday. Meaning Splinter himself considers them all to be the same age. And since the series was running they haven't on screen celebrated a birthday and from the implied weather changes most of the seasons 1-4 seem to take place over just a year??? We don't get a definitive timeline (or I'm a bad audience and didn't notice).

So one can only assume Master Splinter was telling his...15 year old son to be the father to his other 15 year old children.

Why do I bring this up at all? After Leonardo takes over the family and he KILLS shredder they go into this rushed cult demon resurrection arc that culminates in the classic dead walk the earth and Mikey defeats Satan. In this arc we meet a ghost splinter who does not even go to see his kids, he just helps Casey and April. But throughout and the lead up to this we have moments of Leo having conversations with what we can perceive as Sensei's ghost in the dojo.

But the climax of the arc cements splinters ghost has not once visited his son's.

So Leonardo is quite literally having full on conversations, in the dojo for his brothers to hear, with a hallucination of his dead dad. He's coping this way. His family does nothing about this.

Tmnt 2012 has the worst Splinter. He ignored his son's and chose favorites. He told Leonardo to die (season 1 finale). He calls Mikey dumb and insights the others to do it too. He told Raph his anger makes him exactly like Shredder and never elaborates or teaches him how to better work through his issues. And he straight up calls Donnie useless.

None of that is even an exaggeration. Adding context just makes it worse.

Here's a list:

Do you know the turtles are the equivalent of helicopter raised homeschool boys? They've never stepped foot outside of the lair except at the start of ep 1.

They learn ALL of their lessons from old shows and cartoons. The show writers even sometimes use the cartoons to set up the theme of the episodes!

When Leonardo rescues Mikey he pats him on the head to comfort him.

Literally almost all of their ninja weapons have hidden weapons. I love it I wish I saw more of them using them.

Michelangelo is the family chef because somehow none of the rest have any life skills. Not even Splinter (explains so much).

They all have such cute shape language. I love bean pole Donnie, blocky buff Raph, perfect pear Leo, and round freckled Mikey.

They also now have unique eye colors. I love their eyes. Donnie with his big beautiful brown eyes (sometimes they look red). Raph with his acid green stare into your soul eyes, they look like they would glow like mako eyes in ff7. Mikey with bright blue eyes all big and round. And then Leo with the cunning dark blue eyes!

I just want to pinch their cheeks and kiss their foreheads and give them hugs.

Also, Leo is so affectionate to kids and his brothers??? My heart??? Couldn't take it??? He just randomly hugs them?? He had a tea party??? He wore a pink feather boa? The way he just immediately held baby Miwa??? Too good. Too good. He's such a good big bro.

Raph is also such a soft guy. Like yes he's a Butthead that beats up his brothers and takes every single violent urge out on Leo when he's even minorly inconvenienced but he does learn to do better. He helps Leo a lot and he even is there for the others a lot too.

Raphael also does art and seems to like fine arts.

Raph, like Leo, is a resident baby man. He loved tiny helpless creatures. He had a pet turtle he loved with his entire being and then later on adopted a space alien baby turtle that he also loved with his entire being.

I love Donnie in this, his cute little tooth gap, his gentle demeanor, the fact he'd rather be in the lab than training. I feel bad for him tho cause he clearly wants Splinter and Leo's approval with his inventions and efforts but very rarely gets it (Leo is the only one to really praise him and get what he does). He's also a good team player but he has so much stress and no confidence.

Donnie needs a big ol hug.

Mikey is so cute. But he is so weird. Why did they write girly pop collecting underwear. Why did they have him cannibalize a mutant pizza man? They do the most random things with Mikey. I like that he avidly tries cheering ppl up. He tries so hard for his bros. He's just a sweet little guy. I wish they did more with the baby bro.

Mikey should have kept his lightning powers.

They fight a lot but all the brothers love each other. I think they're just stressed and cooped up too much.

I like drama tho it's juicy when they argue.

I read on the wiki that Donnie is supposed to be canon OCD and Mikey canon ADHD and it makes so much sense in the show.

I really like all their voices. I miss Leo's first voice he was so dorky and sweet. The new voice is all sad and serious. Raph sounds perfect. I like Donnie's voice but instead of him always yelling why not have him do the low angry science rant because that's a good time. I like Mikey's voice he sounds like a high pitched beast boy.

But despite the occasionally baffling writing choices of the show I still like it. It's entertaining in the same way as a telenovela or kdrama. They literally have a plot where one of the turtles falls in love with his secret half sister. Something I've seen in telenovelas and kdramas.

2012 tmnt makes a great dogblooded drama.

I think the CGI art can get pretty bad at times but other times it looks great. The music is pretty good and I really like the voice cast. I actually totally see why so many people like this show but I definitely don't think it's the best one. From what I've seen thus far, I think the 2003 TMNT show might actually be a masterpiece. Better than Avatar the Last Airbender levels of masterpiece (not a competition just giving an example of another show I find monumental).

That's it, that's the rant, thanks for reading!

Btw if any one has any good 12 fic recs pls hand them over. I need 12 hurt comfort, or fem Leo, or transfem Leo, or anything introspective, or just anything with a fun plot. Pls I'm dying here send fics.

Thank you :)

[leviathism]

hey can i request going to arcades with mammon?love him so much!!!hope u have a nice day!!!

mammon x gender neutral reader

Mammon had been getting into serious trouble lately.

The witches had been up Lucifer’s ass for the past two months after Mammon had stolen their jewelry, several items of Satan’s and Levi’s had gone missing causing chaos at every dinner since then, and to top it off: a local casino blew up. Exploded. It was all over the Devildom news, and Lucifer had crushed his mug full of coffee in his tight grip when he had seen it.

In a desperate attempt to save Mammon’s life, you promised Lucifer you’d take care of it.

So you brought him to the arcade. In your head, you could tie the threads together to relate it to a casino. It made sense to you. It was paying money with no guarantee of winning or making money back. Some arcades even had those coin pushers.

But Mammon didn’t seem to appreciate your efforts in helping him. He looked quite unimpressed as he stood at the entrance, holding his cup filled with fake gold coin’s unenthusiastically.

“This is dumb.”

“Mammon…” You watched as his gaze flickered down to the coins.

“Ya can’t even scam people with this! It’s so unrealistic!” He picked one up and crushed it easily between his thumb and pointer finger. He rolled his eyes and threw it behind him.

You frowned. “I payed real money for those coins, y’know.” Mammon frowned right back, crossing his arms over his chest. You watched as the cup tilted and almost expected him to spill coins all over the carpet.

“Ya should’ve just lemme hang over the fireplace,” he grumbled and walked past you. “It’d be better than treatin’ me like a kid.”

You sighed. “I’m not treating you like a kid. I thought this would be fun!” You walked up to him, grabbing his arm to make him look at you. “C’mon, just try one game with me and see if you like it or not.”

“This ain’t… This ain’t an alternative to gambling. There’s nothin’ gained.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” You smirked, watching him look over at you in confusion. “One, you’re literally on a date with me. Nothing’s gained?”

Mammon sputtered, shoulders jerking in shock. “That’s—That’s not what I meant, I—”

“Two, there is something to be gained.” You pointed over to the front counter, where the items were displayed. “See that teddy bear? Do you know how much money you could sell that for?”

Mammon looked over, eyes wide before he saw it was just a plain brown teddy bear. He scowled. “Stop jokin’ around.”

“I’m not!” You grabbed his shoulder and shook it. “How much is some weirdo demon freak willing to pay for a teddy bear that the human exchange student won at an arcade? Imagine if one of those human collection people find out.”

Mammon faltered long enough for you to grab his arm and lead him to Skee Ball. You slapped his shoulder. He shot you a look. “…Fine.” He made sure you could hear the reluctance in his voice but as he began to play you could see how he started to get into it.

He groaned when he missed and tightened a fist when he scored. You laughed. He just couldn’t resist.

You snapped him out of his momentum when you laughed, and he ended up missing the next ball. He looked over to you, embarrassed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “They’re not all that fun.”

“Oh yeah? Race me?” You gestured to the games in the back with the wheels.

Mammon looked over and you saw how his eyes almost sharpened. Demon things, you guessed. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders back. “…You’re so gonna lose.”

[devildomditzy]

I hope you're okay from the crash! In honor of it, a request; The brothers are doting on/concerned for/worried for MC after they accidentally crashed their car (They're being nice to MC, and aren't being rude about the damages, they're just happy that MC's okay and safe)

ANON THIS MADE ME CACKLE

I am all okay, but my car is not LMAO

you got it bestie 😎

With an MC who gets into a Car Accident

Obvious TW for mentions of a car accident

Lucifer

He rarely drives, only when it’s necessary, but he did teach the rest of them to drive

He wouldn’t let Mammon teach the others cause he didn’t want him to “corrupt” them (but really he didn’t want Mammon to feel responsible if they were in a dangerous situation 🥺)

So he’s glad you’re okay, but in a smug I told you so you didn’t need to be driving way

But really MC, you gave him a heart attack

Will secretly pay for a new car/ the repairs for you

Mammon

You call him and let him know you were in an accident and you’re surprised with the speed in which he goes quiet on the other end and arrives next to you, shifting out of his demon form cause Diavolo forbid you were hurt again and he wasn’t there to save you

After he’s done having his freak out, having to be brought down with you insisting that you’re fine, you know this boy is gonna make fun of you

He’s one of the best drivers in the Devildom dammit, so he’s leaning over your bent hood asking if you need him to reteach you the ropes

Sorry, you’re not ever touching one of his cars again after this, they’re almost as precious to him as you

Levi

I head-cannon Levi is scared of cars. This is entirely Mammon’s fault.

So he’s terrified for you

In his confusion and anxiety he almost releases Lotan at the scene of the accident

He’s more stressed about it than you AND the person you hit

As soon as he sees you all in one piece, he throws his arms around you, swearing you’ll both walk everywhere from now on

Asmo

“Aw it’s okay MC, I can’t drive either” :)

Bitch????

Lucifer trying to teach Asmo how to drive but it’s the scene where Mr. Mosby is trying to teach London how to drive

Asks specifically if you tried to use the PRNDL

“Asmo that’s not how that works”

He’s glad you’re okay, cars are too much fuss. When you’re with him, you guys will always have a personal driver

Satan

Got his license taken away for too much road rage

You know, the whole wrath thing?

So even if it’s your fault, he’s already in demon form, intimidating the other driver to leave his precious MC alone

In his eyes, it could never be your fault 🤧

Teases you by leaving driving manuals outside your door for the next few weeks

Beel

Poor sweetheart is so scared, he doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost you

If the car has a dent he will literally pop in back into place with just his barehands

He’s actually pretty handy, so most minor damage he could probably fix for you himself

He gets invested looking into all different types of cars and features to find you the safest vehicle/ updates to your car he can

baby 🥺

Belphie

Will beat the other driver within an inch of their life if you don’t stop his ass

Even if you’re at fault, even if the other driver is bigger than him.

Boy’s scrappy 🤺

He’s overprotective too, so say goodbye to your wheels

He will always volunteer to take you anywhere, or pay for a ride. He doesn’t want to take any chances. He almost lost you once, it wont happen again.

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Mc stuck in a Car with the Brothers

Lucifer:

he has the second worst road rage in all three Realms and everybody could guess who´s number one

he is literally everybodies Nightmare and your surprised he only got into fights a couple of times, maybe the other drivers are scared of him and you can´t blame them behind the wheel he looks like he´s on his way to murder somebody

and because this is Lucifer he could be on his way to murder someone

which also causes him to get pulled over often times he may or may not have also killed some of the Cops because they were being shitty people and save whoever causes him to crash into a Car they would get dragged to the worst parts of the Devildom and having to endure the torture from there

but besides that he´s a good driver, he follows the rules and everything and rarely is faster than allowed

terrifying experience but at least you won´t die

Mammon:

he´s a kinda decent driver and at least unlike Lucifer he doesn´t terrify everybody who sees him but he definitely pushes the car to it´s limit

which would be good and all if he didn´t get the Cars speed limit increased and it´s faster than even him when he fully speeds up

and you get chased by either Cops or some folks who Mammon owes money to and now it makes sense why he made the Car so fast

and driving with him feels like a punch in the face, especially if he goes as fast as he can

he even laughs at you when he notices you looking a bit sick

but he does know when to slow down, he learned the hard way when you just teleported away from him without saying anything

but if nobody is chasing both of you, or neither of you coming up with crazy plans to steal things it at least is a pretty nice time

Leviathan:

yeah you´re going to be the one driving the card while Levi is hiding in the backseat

and for some reason every time both of you are in a Car something goes horribly wrong

either the Car breaks down, you run out of fuel in the middle of nowhere, someone tries to kidnap both of you and now both of you have to bury a corpse, Levi´s console runs out of energy and he´s panicking in the backseat urging you to find some place where they can charge or both of you run out of snacks

also better hope both of you are never getting pulled over because Levi is so nervous it will make both of you look suspicious

it´s kinda stressful but honestly it could be worse at least you get control of the Radio

Satan:

he´s the one with the worst road rage by far in all three Realms and you don´t know if you should say it´s annoying or the best thing ever but every time Satan sees a Cat he will stop the Car

and yeah it´s annoying but also the greatest thing ever to do because who wouldn´t stop for an adorable animal?

but Satan nearly caused a massive Car crash because he tried to stop in the middle of a busy road to pet a Cat

a good reason to stop but not everybody else agreed and some people might have tried to get you thrown into prison and you the Avatar of Wrath did what the Avatar of Wrath does

yeah you´ll need help covering all of that up if you ever want to go back

Asmodeus:

if it wasn´t for Asmo being constantly on his phone he would be the perfect partner for Car rides but he´s also looking through his phone when he´s the one driving and not only during your turn driving the Car

which needless to say is a horrible thing to do and not only makes you scared shitless but also forces you to take the wheel while he´s trying to get a nice aesthetic shot

you actually count yourself lucky nobody stopped or imprisoned both of you and if they did you would kill Asmo

which actually means Asmo is the lucky one, worst part is you can´t even choose the music and the only reason you didn´t jump out of the car, whether it was moving or not, because sure Asmo likes some good songs but the ones that are bad activate your flight instinct

honestly he´s by far one of the worst at least if he would be staying in the backseat he might have been decent

Beelzebub:

there is a mix between you and Beel driving, but most of the time you have to drive because Beel needs to eat

and you have to plan the route so you pass plenty of gas stations and Cities or just smaller communities with food places

also after both of you are done you´ll need to properly clean the Car because sure Beel might be the Avatar of Gluttony but that doesn´t mean he can´t get messy while eating and driving and eating doesn´t help that

but it would be worse if you ran out of food the best case is he´ll try to eat parts of the Car and the worst are him trying to eat other people while your filling the Car with gasoline

honestly he might be the worst person to drive with if you value a clean Car

Belphegor:

you have to drive the Car because Belphie will spend the entire time on the backseat sleeping and he will rarely wake up

but when he does better hope nobody is around because he can still be kinda volatile around random Humans especially if they don´t know when to shut up

you had to find a lot of places to bury bodies and to get a bunch of favors from Diavolo

but if he wakes up when both of you are in the middle of nowhere it´s pretty chill you get to talk a bit and if you end up in a place with Humans when Belphie had enough time to wake up he can at least be partially decent

but if they are still annoying you´re going to need to dig more holes, good thing you started bringing shovels with you after the first time you drove around with him

[explorersaremadeofhope]

im so mad, the serpent in paradise lost is literally just a lil guy

he's just sleeping, all coiled up in a lil ball in the grass (okay a big ball), when satan comes along and fuckin. oozes in through his mouth and straight up possesses him while he's asleep. just takes the whole entire wheel and the snake is just along for the ride

and the real kicker is milton says he does this because if he started nosing around eve while disguised as another animal, someone might smell a rat, but the snake is so sketchy anyway nobody will suspect

give him a break, he's literally innocent!! herp rights !!!

[rainiishowers]

Incorrect Quotes | Obey Me |

A/N: My brain won’t let me write so here’s some incorrect quotes while I try to finish my Mammon angst drafts Gonna be some ship incorrect quotes so be weary if you don’t like that --- Asmodeus: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Lucifer, sighing: Does anyone in here ever think before they speak? - MC: Satan and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Lucifer, sighing x2: What did Satan do? MC: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Satan: Who wants a steering wheel? - *playing twister* Diavolo: Right hand red *Dia ends up on top on Lucifer* Lucifer: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Diavolo: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice. -

Diavolo: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. MC: Rules? Diavolo: Is there a point system, or is it to the death? 

- Asmodeus: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. Satan: ...We're on the ground floor. Asmodeus: I know but I want a dramatic exit. - Belphegor: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times. Barbatos: You mean you stabbed them? Belphegor: They ran into my knife. - Belphegor: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. Beelzebub: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? Belphegor: I like the way you think. - Diavolo: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween, and my second birthday! Barbatos: That.. That doesn't exist. Diavolo: Not with that attitude. - Lucifer: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Mephistopheles: I will politely decline. - Satan: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why. - Lucifer: How did none of you hear what I just said?! Beelzebub: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Mammon: I got distracted halfway through. Belphegor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision. - MC, to Barbatos: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth - Barbatos: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Simeon: Peonies, why? Barbatos: Simeon: Were you going to get me flowers? Barbatos: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ - Asmodeus: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good? - Satan: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Solomon: You mean literally or figuratively? Satan: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify... - MC, walking into their house/apartment/whatever, sighing: Hello people who do not live here. Asmodeus: Hey~ Satan: Hello Mammon: Hi Leviathan: Hey MC: I only gave you guys keys for emergencies Lucifer: MC, I can explain-- Belphegor: We missed you Beelzebub: And we ran out of chips :( - MC: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Leviathan: Violently practices. Satan: Violently studies. Mammon: Violently gambles. Asmodeus: Violently shoots pictures, of my beautiful face~ Beelzebub: Violently workouts? Belphegor: Violently murders people. Lucifer: Violently worries about the previous statement. Belphegor: Lucifer: Who did you murder? - Barbatos: Where is Lucifer? Belphegor: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted? Satan: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat? - Simeon, sighing: The power went out. Solomon: Don’t worry, I got this. *Solomon starts shaking rapidly and lights up* Simeon: What-? Solomon: I swallowed a glow stick! Simeon: You did what? - Diavolo: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single? Barbatos: Please do not do that. Diavolo: You won’t even notice! Simeon, entering: Lord Diavolo, you said you wanted to meet with me? Diavolo: Barbatos is single :D Barbatos: - Diavolo: That was so hot, Luci Lucifer: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Diavolo: I'm so in love with you. - Mammon: Top 30 reasons why The Great Mammon is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you! Leviathan: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

[hostilemuppet]

ok so i didn't know who the rabbit was and went through the ragemption (?) tag and i LOVED IT. alexandrite is my favorite!!! but cpuld you explain a bit more about the please 🥺???

i would love to talk about regem it is my beloved brainchild 😈

regemption is the story ive been working on for several years (it turns 5 this june, which is scary to think about!) using a bastardised aesthetisised pop culture interpretation of christian mythology to talk about a lot of things, like morality and the concept of purity. i want to make it a webcomic some day, and it will be split into 5 "books", and an intermission story spread throughout

book 1: current title "heart and soul": follows jonah calinao, a 23 y/o depressed deadbeat who suffers a heart attack and goes to hell. somehow, they bounce back, because modern medicine is amazing, but this is the first time a human has ever seen the stony deep before being revived. satan (mostly referred to as "boss") sends one of her lackeys to "take care of them" and bring them back and thus maintain the natural order. she picks jade (representative of envy, middle of the road when it comes to sinners) who, upon seeing earth for the first time, isnt exactly that keen on going back. so jade makes a deal with jonah: she wont kill them if they at least TRY and get their shit together. which is a pretty cushy deal, all things considered! except jades situationship from hell (in the most literal context) isnt happy that her best-friend-slash-longtime-crush is mingling with the humans. especially when zircon decides that jade and jonah have gotten pretty close 🤔

book 2: "blood and bone": follows isaac bonner, a 25 y/o rich kid dissatisfied with life. when his on-again-off-again (mostly off) girlfriend dies, he considers ending it all, but is interrupted by what he considers divine intervention. it is, of course, from the other place. bloodstone convinces him that killing himself would be such a waste, he should just hand over his soul instead, and let someone with a will to go on take the wheel. initially unconvinced, she shows him all of her plans, why shes on earth and what she plans to do, and it might just be the adrenaline rush he needs to keep on living

book 3: "hope and pray": follows mary santoro, 24 y/o, jonahs ex-roommate (roommate through the first half of book 1. dont worry about it), nicest person youll ever meet. shes always had a passion for music, but passion rarely pays the bills, which she has a lot of. during one of her many dayjobs, she meets a few very odd individuals who are, for some reason, adamant that she has to join their band. even though its not the type of music she likes, they wear her down, and she agrees to at least check em out, but she soon realises that theyre not human, but they need her help. and one thing about mary is she can never turn someone down, no matter how much she wants to

book 4: "flesh and blood": follows jacob bonner (isaacs younger brother) and his best friend levi abraham as they uncover just what isaac had gotten up to the past few months. and why their cellar is suddenly locked up tight, with no key in sight. or why jacob frequently wakes up to screaming, only sometimes his own. or why their "new friend" looks so familiar, and whether levis right not to trust her

book 5: "survive and thrive": everything comes together. the culmination of the previous four books, with an epilogue to deal with anything that wasnt tied up in a neat little bow

intermissions: follow ruby and zebra jasper as they seek violent, glittery revenge on the one who wronged them, aided by pyrite, who jasper just cant seem to convince ruby is bad news

alexandrite is a minor character in book 1 (even though demons dont have families the way we do, alex and jade consider themselves as close to sisters as they can get), a supporting character in book 2, and should be a major character in book 5.

[heartspiked]

that’s not how you pray | eddie munson

summary: eddie wants you to know he’s not guilty

content warning: cursing, crying obvi, mentions of blood, angst

songs that inspired this: hey lover by the daughter of eve + do you want to die together by stars

you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in weeks and it was tearing you apart for more than one reason. you so desperately needed to talk to him and you know he needed you too. it was hard dating a high schooler who flunked more than once and attend college a couple hours away from the sleepy little town of hawkins. arriving in hawkins made your stomach churn in all the wrong ways. there wasn’t kids riding their bikes around town and even a curfew had been implemented. you didn’t even attempt to visit his trailer in fear the police would question you and slow you down in your search for your “murderer satanic” boyfriend. you really needed to talk to him. to sort things out.

you knew he was chicken hearted and wouldn’t hurt a fly. literally, he asked you to step on spiders and those furry worms that stung you if you touched them. he learned his lesson and visited the hospital convinced he was dying. from then on you became designated bug killer. gripping your steering wheel and clenching your jaw you made your way from house to house of eddie’s known friends and associates. they were all dead ends completely fucking useless. his so called band members had no idea where he was and you just wanted to hear his voice to make you feel better. you hoped he wasn’t alone somewhere by himself. when three days went by you decided to risk going to visit his trailer.

it was late and you were speeding but the police, if you could even call them that, were far too understaffed and useless. you sped into the trailer park past the police tape and swerved into an bad parking job not even bothering to turn the engine off. the lights were on! they were on! you threw the door of his trailer open to see one of the little lost lambs dirty and scared. he turned to you in pure shock and you never felt more relieved.

“it’s eddie! he… hee stayed! we need to get him!” it was then you noticed the unmissable massive fucking hole in the ceiling. you didn’t even know what to say you couldn’t stop smiling that you were so close to seeing eddie. you were massively freaked as you watched dustin dash and jump up a chair and onto the roof and you followed him. you didn’t know why his friends were so weird dressed in a homemade medieval knight outfit but you’d make sure to question him. “we don’t have time hurry up, (y/n)!”

you grunted and pulled yourself halfway up the hole before dustin lifted you up and you both were sprinting out the trailer door. unfortunately for you dustin was limping behind and you couldn’t even begin to process what you were seeing. it looked like pure hell and it scared you oh god did it scare you. you didn’t think the crazy conspiracy theorists were right when they said there was hell in hawkins. you laughed it off but holy shit you’d never seen more red in your lifetime. hawkins looked like a deserted town filled with ugly thick vines and dead trees and the hoard of crazy killer bats?

oh my god. it’s eddie. it’s eddie! “eddie! dustin i see him!” your screamed was terribly loud. he’s hurt. you hurried over to him as fast as your legs could take you. they felt crazy numb as your knees skidded on the ground and hurt terribly. “eddie baby my love! you’re okay you’re okay.” you cooed and ran your hand through his tangled hair. eddie gave a gigantic smile,”you’re here… i’m so glad i can see you.” he said weekly and with his cute little laugh he did when he was nervous. you put your hands on his wound. you knew that in all the movies it was best to keep pressure on wounds you knew that. “i wanted you to know i’m sorry for running away i didn’t kill chrissy… i didn’t.” you shook your head tears in your eyes. “eddie shut up i believe you! i never doubted you for a second babe.” you cried out as he placed his hand in yours.

he weakly slipped one of his rings on your finger and you shook your head,”keep it you’ll thinking you lost it babe..” you dug your face into his neck and sobbed as you tried to pull him or pick him up with dustin’s help. eddie started slipping off as he spoke to dustin and you couldn’t let him, no you couldn’t. you two had a life ahead of you. he’d finally graduate. he would you knew it. you slapped his face gently, “baby! seriously baby! you can’t slip off right now you’re gonna be fine!” eddie looked at the curly haired boy sitting on his other side and they both had sympathetic looks. you hated it. he said i love you to his underling and supposed acolyte.

his eyes began to be swallowed by darkness and you couldn’t take it any longer. “please baby! eddie.. edward baby i’m pregnant.. i’m pregnant! it’s our baby..” eddie’s tears began to flow as he grabbed your stomach weakly. “you need to be here for the baby!” you sobbed hitting his chest. he smiled this big fucking shit eating grin that you loved so much. being raised in a religious house you felt like this was punishment how dare the lord how dare god take the love of your life. how dare he. you did all your hail marys and all your confessions on sundays every week since you were young. “stay alive… if not for me for the baby!” you pleaded your sobs deafening.

your throat was raw and burning painfully,“i love you and our unborn baby. i know you’ll be the best mom i love you. find steve okay?” you shook your head as you watched the love of your life take his last few breaths. you kissed his face erratically. “i don’t want steve i want you baby..” you sobbed uncontrollably as dustin tried to pull you away from the munson boy. you wanted to die there and then you wanted to go with him so bad, so fucking bad. you cried into your cold lovers chest for what seemed like hours. you left the body of the man you loved behind. your unconditional love in a place you didn’t understand could exist. you knew he’d never want to be alone ever.

you knew him better than anybody and you had planned a joking little argument for when you’d find him but you’d never play fight with him again and it killed you to see him bloody and surrounded by fucking hideous demon bats. you knew no one would ever know his innocence or his personality and how he was heaven on earth. how your baby would never know how good their daddy was at guitar or hear his band preform live or teach them how to play dungeons and dragons. you knew he wanted a baby girl. you talked about it when you’d get high in his van when you’d meet each other half way from your college on nights he didn’t have his club. you knew he’d want to take care of his baby.

you felt like the earth swallowed him silently the day he died.

[revols-headcanons]

aoba johsai pet headcanons

oikawa literally begged his parents for a pet bird when he was in middle school, even though he’s rarely home to take care of it (his parents take care of it). the bird is called tweety and oikawa’s private snapchat story (tooru’s hoes; has all of aoba johsei’s team and many of his volleyball rivals) has tons of videos of him making fake retro/beatboxing/2016 youtube channel intro noises while spinning his phone around his bird. the birds like “…🧍🐥🐦🦜 what is this giant creature doing.”

iwaizumi had a bulldog who he defends with the world. the dog will literally try to eat oikawa, forcing that poor man to climb a tree while screaming, and iwaizumi will be like “oh he don’t bite. he’s chill don’t worry.” the worst part is that the bulldog loves everyone else on the team but hates oikawa. oikawa uses it as a sign that either he’s too sexy for every being on the planet that the universe sent him a mere pet in spite of him or that aliens are real and sent this demon dog as a way to lure him away.

matsukawa has three pet fish; one for himself and the other two for his siblings. their names are, respectively; titty, princess sparkles, and sharknado. he’s disappointed that his siblings didn’t get the memo. he often spends his time wrestling with iwaizumi’s dog because of this. whenever the others brag about their adorable pets, he says ‘well at least i have a clean car that I can drive’ to shut them up. iwaizumi and hanamaki always respond with ‘well fair enough’ while oikawa glitches out of existence like ‘we- you can’t just- that’s not fai- i have volleyball!’

hanamaki has an orange cat that never gives him a break. the cat will hide inside the couch until hanamaki’s mid-breakdown searching for it while thinking it died or ran away. the cat has purposely shat on his laptop multiple times. his teachers are tired of the excuse ‘my cat destroyed my homework/laptop, so I didn’t finish the work’ but it’s always true. the cat has also clawed up $200 shoes before. hanamaki’s private snapchat story (‘satan’s furry little shitbag’) where it’s just him recording what his cat has done with the caption of ‘orange cat tings’ or ‘bruh ur scaring da hoes’ or something similar.

kyoutani has two dogs (as previously mentioned), and they’re both the sweetest pets in the world. he unexpectedly gets hit on a lot because he looks less threatening with two happy dogs dragging him along, and he has to awkwardly reject people while trying to play fetch with his dogs. multiples times he’s sat down in front of his dogs like ‘listen here guys. you are actively destroying my reputation. i need you to be mean, cold hearted, and ruthless from now on, okay?” and the dogs will just have these dumb, happy looks on their face while panting, and then lick his face. he responds by sighing and then cuddle/wrestling his dogs because they are the most important thing to him.

watari has an elaborate hamster set up for his four hamsters. it takes up a whole wall of his bedroom and there’s this whole wheel and upwards maze for them. he’s incredibly precise when he cleans the cage and feeds them. he brags about it often, and makes sure he has a hamster on his head or in his lap whenever he video calls someone. their names are turbo, milk, porkchop, and sticky. he let a random english word generator name them and then didn’t put any extra thought into it.

yahaba has that crusty white dog that’s prim and proper. he regularly washes it and feeds it, even though he’s upset that his dog started to hate him after he dyed his hair. he’s been like ‘even though my hair isn’t white, i’m still me! don’t hate me now!’ whenever he has to wash his dog. his dog also has separation anxiety so yahaba wakes up most mornings with his dogs ass in his face became the dog refuses to sleep anywhere that isn’t touching her owner (even after yahaba spent the money and put the effort into making a literally royalty passage/mini bedroom for his dog to sleep comfortably (yahaba now just throws his shoes onto it because he’s accepted that his dog will never sleep on it)).

kindaichi has no pets so he often visits this giant aquarium near his house. he’s gone so often that, more often than not, they let him in for free because they know all he’s going to do is stare at the dolphins for an hour and then try to over compensation financially for it. he’s gone so frequently that he’s been allowed to meet the dolphins in person and pet them. the dolphins adore him because his hairstyle reminds them of their fin. the employees see how sad he gets when he sits by the dolphins, so they started actively tutoring him on how to take care of them, in hopes that he’ll work a part time job there.

kunimi also has no pets, but he’s fine with that because he hates doing any form of work and also hates messes. though he does appreciate sitting in parks and watching squirrels run around because it brings him peace. he started internally naming all of them after his teammates after a while. out of the team, he favors yahabas crusty white dog the most because the dog loves attention and is fluffy, though he would never admit that out loud.

[carry-the-sky]

self-hype wip wednesday bc i'd really love to finish at least one of the 78 open fics i have going rn, so here's a lil modern au hellcheer snippet:

Eddie's tried the blind date thing—blech—and he’s tried Tinder—blech times a billion—and now he’s trying something new called letting Jesus-slash-Satan take the wheel. If he meets someone, he meets someone. If not, whatever. He’ll just squat in Robin’s attic for the rest of eternity.

Solid plan, right? 

“Uh, wrong, dingus,” was Robin’s reply when he’d told her as much earlier this afternoon. “Hence why you’re going to this shindig tonight.”

“Dude, it’s patisserie week. You’re certifiable if you think my ass is going anywhere that’s not the couch or my bed.”

Robin poked her head into his room. “Oh my God, you’re actually watching Bake Off.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno, you’re always sort of grunting and shouting. I just assumed you were watching porn.”

“Okay, number one,” Eddie said, holding up a corresponding finger, “I wouldn’t have to shout if the judges could pick a technical that wasn’t literally sadistic. Vertical tarts? Come the fuck on. And number two, that’s— extremely fucking sexist, Buckley. Way to put all men in a box.” 

“I’ll alert Gloria Steinem,” Robin deadpanned. “You’re still going.”

tagging (no pressure!!): @majicmarker, @hangon-silvergirl, @ninzied, @notquitecogent, @garglyswoof, @edourado, @agentmmayy, @152glasslippers, @makingatomlette and anyone else who wants to playy. :)