#save me tom cardy

[cuddlytogas]

wellp, covid ruining my new years plans feels about par for the course, BUT at least it gets me out of brunch with my sister? small mercies i guess :\\\\\\

[tougotstrangeld]

tom cardy song save me

[howlingday]

Honestly, i'm kinda disappointed in how WBYJ kinda brushed off Ruby and her issues throughout V9. So, I have taken matters into my own hands to look for a song to cheer up Ruby, and I have found it!

I now pass this song on to you to post, as I am both very unskilled a writing and very lazy. The song is Tom Cardy's H.S, and a link will be given to a tumblr post within this ask. Wether WBYJ sing it to Ruby or Jaune shares it with her as a ln apology is up to you.

https://www.tumblr.com/inthefallofasparrow/727759896307761152/hot-shit-tom-cardy?source=share

If an outside link is needed, I am willing to give the link to the YouTube video.

Sing a-long!

"Now and then, we all get a thought that stops us in our track. Am I living to my full potential, or am I holding myself back?" Jaune spins Ruby around, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You've gotta stop with that shit, 'cause you're P-P-PERFECT~!" He slid from his seat, walking away to the bookshelf. "Check out that analysis paralysis!"

"Paralysis~!" Ruby's team added, crooning from the hallway.

"If you need some help to see, take a lesson from me!" Jaune spun around, opening a book to the story of the Rusted Knight. "They say that I'm not a huntsman. Do you think that I really give a shit?" He tossed the book aside, causing Blake to jump in the air to save the spine from being ruined. "You know we're not gonna quit, 'cause we know we can take a hit, and we know what we is, and we know we is-"

Jaune spun around, tearing off his armor to reveal a pair of yellow spandex covering his body. He pointed his finger to the sky in his declaration.

"HOT SHIT~! And you know that we know it! We might never get registered, but it don't matter 'cause we know that we're still-"

"HOT SHIT~!" Team RWBY sang without their leader.

"Yeah, you're hot shit, too, so get out of your brain and do what you're 'born 'sposed to do!"

"HOT SHIT~!" WBY chimed in. "You know that we know it! Expect some real magic from us real huntress! HOT SHIT~!"

"And you're hot shit, too," Jaune pointed at Ruby, his finger inches from her face, "so get out of your way and just do what you were born to do!"

Before Ruby could argue, Jaune sat down next to her. "Before I got wise and said "gosh dangit," it's true that I was jealous of the big other huntress." He pulled out his scroll, opening to a news article published by various journalism sites. "But did you know that Winter, the biggest to you, was jealous 'cause Atlas would call her a rebel, too." He swiped to the photo album, featuring a familiar face to the red huntress. "The huntsman she was jealous of was your Uncle Qrow, who had self-comsuming thoughts that he would never become-!"

"SUMMER ROSE!" Yang held out a picture as Weiss and Blake sang with her.

"He was constantly chasing the dream that he would be so big that he'd be a legend!" Jaune left Ruby's side and stared out the window. "But trillions miles away that even Summer didn't see was a big guy strong enough to lift reality." He drew a signature S shape on the wall in chalk. "He turned his gaze into our world to see "There's a girl with a beret who's cooler than me!"

A new voice joined the choir as a woman with a black beret and dark shades entered. "But the most super awesome, coolest huntress to ever exist is probably at Vacuo saying "Now I'm seeing shit!" Coco lowered her sunglasses at the youngest leader. "I've seen a fight with a camera, I've even seen a memory lapse, but I've never seen a red huntress KICK SO MUCH ASS!"

"HOT SHIT~!" Everyone in the room was singing now. "And you know that we know it!"

Ruby stood from her seat. "I don't need to be a hero because I know that I'm still worth it, baby~!

"HOT SHIT!"

And you're hot shit, too!" Jaune wrapped an arm over Ruby's shoulder. "So stop doubting yourself and feel this huntress groove~!

"HOT SHIT~!" It seemed like everyone in Vacuo was feeling it, as singing came from down the halls in chorus. Was everyone in on this?! "And you know Ruby knows it! Expect some fucking stories from this red hoodie~! HOT SHIT~!"

"And you're hot shit, too," Jaune led Ruby out the doors, past the crowds, "so look out to the world, because we're all waiting for you~!"

Ruby stepped away from Jaune, looking down as she walked away. "Now and then, I get the thoughts that stop me in my tracks. Should I really be a huntress? Or should I just cut back?" The world held their breath as Ruby asked, fearing the worst had happened to her. "...I've got to stop with that shit 'cause I'm P-P-PERFECT!" Ruby roared to anyone who would spare the time to listen to her. "My life is fucking cool and so are you, if you only let me tell the rest of my story with yoooooooooou~!

"HOT SHIT~!" The world answered.

"And you know that I know it~!" She answered back to the world. "I might never get my register, but I'm still awesome as a leader~!

"HOT SHIT~!"

"And you're hot shit, too, so let's shoot for the stars 'til we break through the mooooooooooon~!" Ruby pointed to the sky, heedless of whether the moon was above or shattered or not or neither.

"HOT SHIT~!"

"Do you like my space metaphor~?" Jaune asked.

"HOT SHIT~!"

"Would you like to know what I use it for? To prove to you that you are hot shit, too, now stay out of my room and show Remnant what hot shit do~!"

"HOT SHIT~!" Ruby jumped through the air, cheering until she landed flat on her face. "Whuh? What just happened?"

"Emmy! You dropped it too soon!"

"Sorry, I couldn't hold it any longer."

Ruby looked up to see Jaune still sitting on his bed, patting Emerald's hand as she panted in a nearby chair. Nora loomed over her, barely held back by Lie Ren. To the other side of the room, she saw her team looking at her with mixtures of concern and worry. A gloved hand reached down to help her up, which she forgo to address the whole room and not just Oscar.

"What just happened?" Ruby asked.

"No more musical numbers." Emerald groaned.

"We... I was worried about how you were feeling since coming back from the Ever After and getting registered again, so I talked with your team and my team and, well..." Jaune shrugged. "Jaunty musical number?"

"Dude..." Ruby grumbled. "I don't care if it was your musical number or mine or Oscar's. Tricking me to sing is not cool."

"Don't blame 'em, kid." Coco said, leaning on the doorframe. "You were pretty jittery since you came back, so we all talked it over. The musical number was actually my idea, but unfortunately, I can't sing."

"Because you're too cool to sing?"

"Nah. Court order."

As Ruby balked, she looked to her team, who still didn't drop their looks of concern. As much as she wanted to be mad at being tricked into singing, she knew neither her team nor Jaune's would do this without some merit to their concern. So she relaxed a bit and sighed.

"Nobody recorded me, did they?"

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sefikura, to me,

Is Red Flags by Tom Cardy.

Idk if anyone else shares this sentiment (/j)

WHAT IS THAT SONG ALSJSSHAK 😂

Tbh I feel the same. I don't particularly ship Sefikura save for a few ridiculously well written fics that handle their dynamic really well. However if I had to give them a song, I'd say He Needs me by Shelley Duvall or Meant To Be Yours from the Heathers musical. Something creepy and one-sided fits them well lol

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

DISCLAIMERS‼️‼️‼️

Before anyone starts reading the content, I have to make some statements.

Most importantly, I do not watch Jujutsu Kaisen, or any anime for that matter, so please do not expect to see any more of this type of content from me. I only made this because my friend @mcliancraft is into it, and I love talking with her about it, and she told me that Yuji canonically likes Human Centipede (I'm sorry bro but this is why Sukuna possesed you).

Anyway, both mcliancraft and I love Red Flag, the song that Tom Cardy and Montaigne made about Human Centipede (watch it):

And I was horrified to learn that Yuji likes Human Centipede, and commented that the only good thing to come out of it was Red Flag, which led to me making this sort of incorrect quotes crack thing, where Yuji and Megumi quote the lyrics of the song. Even though it's a shitpost, I spent too much effort typing it out word for word not to share it publicly. So that is what you will find after Keep Reading. Enjoy.

Megumi: The date started off so well. Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life. He was perfect from what I could tell. How could I not see the danger right in front of me?

Yuji: My favourite food is fish

Megumi: Baby that's my favourite too

Yuji: I love cartoon dogs

Megumi: Baby I love Scooby-Doo. Hey baby, what's your favourite film? He said -

Yuji: The best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called - HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight.

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. NOT. IR. RONICALLY.

Megumi: He said -

Yuji: The costume design was a highlight!

Megumi: (oh my god I'm gon get stabbed)

Yuji: I like it for the plot!

Megumi: Tell me what the plot's about...

Yuji: German doctor sews three people ASS. TO. MOUTH!

Megumi: Cool (!)

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: Please. God. Save. Me. I think that's a red. Flag. I don't want to get. Stabbed. He said -

Yuji: Human Centipede is a tour de force

Megumi: I think, "Holy shit, I'm gonna be the main. Course!" He said-

Yuji: I admire the narrative of character growth.

Megumi: I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse. Code.

Yuji: Why are you blinking so much?

Megumi: I've got something in my eye.

Yuji: *hand turns into Sukuna's* Here let me get it out.

Megumi: No thank you - I don't wanna die.

Choso: Bonjour. Sir was blinking at me, is this because your date is a freak?

Yuji: *holds up shirt to reveal Sukuna's mouth saying "I love centipede"*

Megumi: No.

Choso: Very good then. Bon appetit.

Yuji: Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag to not take a chance on the best relationship you never had.

Megumi: Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses. My heart's got bruises but I'm ready to choose this love!

Yuji: You could be my world, the love of my life. One day we'll get married and be husbands for life.

Megumi: With a tasteful ceremony, and the wedding of our dreams!

Yuji: Only if the wedding is themed!

Megumi: Tell me what the theme's gonna be!

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: That way we could save on the catering bill.

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. Only one mouth to feed.

Megumi: If you are the best man, you know the deal. Pucker up! I can finally open myself up to love!

Yuji: I CAN FINALLY SEW A MOUTH TO A BUTT!

Megumi: Hu. Man. Centipede.

Yuji: Hu. Man. Centipede.

[surprisingmarch]

Welcome to Patience: Gifts? (Chapter 3)

Joseph Rainier x F!Human Reader x Harry Vanderspeigle Rating: 16+

Fandom: Resident Alien

Story Type: Fluff / Thriller / Romance / Drama

5,596 Words

-Y/N = Your name- -L/N = Last name-

Music I listened to as I wrote: -"H.S / Tom Cardy"

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Slowly, you unload your various fridge and pantry items into their designated places, occasionally struggling to find room in your fridge to shove your food into. Joseph ended up convincing you to buy WAY too much food with the money Harry gave you. In his words, "It's good to be prepared and to have everything you could possibly want at your disposal." On the bright side, you won't need groceries for weeks, on the downside, you're going to have to store some things in his fridge… which he offered as he shoved more meat into your basket. You actually ended up getting a second basket from Joseph with things he thought you would like, he just randomly disappeared for several minutes as you perused and you figured he forgot something, but then he came back with a basket piled mountain high with a giant smile on his face and at that point you knew instantly it was for you.

You should have suspected considering before he left he asked if you have any food allergies. Your puppy like friend ended up carrying half of your groceries for you as you both walked home.. he is awfully sweet. He warms your heart with his goofiness.You can't stop thinking about Harry, why on earth did he have so much money on him? Is he doing something illegal or is he just paid really well? You wouldn't care if he was doing something illegal, you just don't want him to get hurt. You highly doubt as a small town doctor he's making that much, but he is from New York, so maybe he has a lot saved up from when he worked there that he's blowing. Either way, you're deeply bothered by the fact you have like 300 dollars of Harry's savings, it was thoughtful but also pretty careless to just throw several hundreds at someone you just met then rush out… You're planning on returning the money the next time you see him.

You hear a string of very loud knocks on your apartment door, you rush over to the door expecting to see Joseph, only to be met with the very man you were just thinking of, Harry. He's holding various gift bags of things, you can see a lamp poking through one, and some kind of… pig in another? "You got the job." Harry informs you as he slides past you and carefully sets all the bags onto the floor. "I got you some things for your new home… I put them into gift bags so it would be like Christmas." Harry chuckles. You look down at the array of brightly colored bags sitting around on the floor. "Thank you Harry… that's very sweet.. Oh! Before I forget.." You say as you pull out the three hundred or so dollars you owe Harry. "I do not need that.. I have plenty at home. You keep it… consider it a…" Harry looks to the side in thought before looking back down at you. "Late birthday present." Harry finished.

Knowing that Harry will most likely make you keep the money even if you insist on him taking it back, you give up and shove the money back down into your pocket. "Thank you Harry… that's awfully sweet.. And oh my goodness.. that's so many gifts.. It must have cost so much.." You quietly say as you look around at the many bags on the floor with a hand on your cheek. "And they are all for me..?" You ask quietly, still completely awestruck by the sudden kind surprise. "I have just the thing for that.." Harry rushes over to one of the bags, this one being bright blue, and pulls out a giant piggy bank. "And of course they are all for you. Who else do you see around here… A ghost?" Harry says sarcastically as he looks around your apartment and gestures widely to the large empty space. You giggle at him. "Yeah I guess your right.." You respond. Harry walks back over to you and carefully hands you the piggy bank. He's so gentle when it comes to touching you or handing you things, almost like he's afraid he's going to break you. "I saw it and thought of you.. you remind me of something innocent.. like a piglet. Also no, it did not cost too much, I assure you, I have plenty of money to spare. Spare me your guilt, you deserve gifts." Harry says softly.

It's very cute.. just like any ol' piggy bank but MASSIVE.. and it has cute blushing cheeks. "Thank you Harry.." You say as you feel your heart turn to mush. "Any time." Harry responds calmly. "Oh!" You exclaim, you almost forgot to put your money into it. You pull out your newly "earned" three hundred dollars and shove it into the bank. "It's so cute Harry… Thank you!" You smile brightly, you're genuinely almost brought to tears by all the kind gestures these two dumb dumbs are making. You've never had anyone go this far out of their way for you.. which sounds sad now that you think about it. Tears start to weld in your eyes but you push them back down as you sit in the floor with your legs crossed in front of your various gifts and start to dig. You start to pull out some things from the bags, honestly you think this is better than any Christmas you've ever had because instead of it being expected and obligated, these gifts all came from the heart of a guy you just met. It just feels so much more genuine, he didn't have to do all this, but he did. And that shows a lot about his character.

"What's cute?" You hear Joseph ask to your right, you look over and see Joseph standing in the still very much wide open entrance. He has some sort of dirty towel shoved in his front pocket that's half way hanging out. Harry quietly grumbles something under his breath and a loud growl can be heard underneath that, some how even further proving he's not human. You thought there was no way to further prove it, but no, turns out there's many more ways to do so. Now the only question is, what is he? "Come on in, you vampire. What? Do you need to be invited to enter someone else's space?" You playfully interrogate. "No.." Joseph replies timidly as he swings in and out of the doorway before finally coming in and glaring at all the gifts on the floor. "Please don't tell me that's all from Harry.. If it is, I'm going to have to up my game." Joseph declares some what determinedly. "I'm afraid it is.." You answer sassily. Joseph glares down at you, very much implying a warning, before looking over at Harry. "Please do not "up your game". There is no need for uping your game." Harry quickly pleads. "But you're stealing my girl away." Joseph says quietly, his voice is practically a hush, and there's this undeniable danger lying underneath it.

"YOUR GIRL!?!?" Harry shouts. "Oh? Your girl? We haven't even had our first date yet.." You playfully respond. You continue to look through all your items for a moment before you feel a sense of danger coming from your right. A chill surges down your spine, you look back up at Joseph who is staring at you quite hungerly. "Actually.. that's why I came over here. I'm making us dinner right now and I won't take no for an answer. And based on the fact you have no job and all you were planning on doing today was grocery shop and look for one.. and you're done grocery shopping…" Joseph squats down next to you, never breaking eye contact. "Actually she does have a job.. You start tomorrow at 9 o'clock exactly, by the way. I probably should have told you that earlier.. Oh well. There is no need for her to have-" Harry gets cut off by you. "Nu uh uh.. I said both of you get to get me a part time job so there would be no fighting." You remind him. Harry frowns and grumbles. You look back at Joseph who is still staring at you, seemingly not even acknowledging Harry's presence.

He leans in closer to you. "And you've been guaranteed two jobs.. you have the whole day free… with nothing to do.." Joseph gets right next to your ear. You start to feel your face get hot, you hear Harry protesting in the background but can't make out what he's saying due to your flusteredness. "I think you can spare a few hours for me.. can't you? My dear Y/N." Joseph whispers. You nod slightly in response, Joseph purposely blows a bit of air into your ear, causing you to get chills. Your face flushes bright red, damn, you weren't expecting him to be this forward. You wanted to tease and annoy him a bit more before the date "That's it! We are having a talk!" Harry announces as he grabs one of Joseph's legs from under him, pulling him towards the door. Joseph falls forward and lands right into your chest, he flushes bright red and you some how blush even deeper than you already were, but there's no time to acknowledge the situation at hand or for him to even start to apologize as Harry continues to quickly drag him all the way across the hall to his apartment, Joseph protests the whole way there and you can hear him still protesting through the door as Harry slams it shut and locks it.

The two of them are now in there together.. completely alone… you're sure that won't go terribly wrong. Funny enough, Harry seemingly didn't even notice the incident he just caused as he was facing forward the whole time. You're sure he'll have a fit once he finds out, if he ever does. You can see it now, you chuckle to yourself. You know there's probably going to be a cat fight and try to think of a way to get in but you can't since you have no key and you definitely heard the door lock. You start to hesitantly continue looking through your bags, pulling one of the last items out, a beautiful ceramic orange tabby cat, it's just sitting there, being an absolute delight. Harry really nailed all these gifts, you love each and every one of them. They seem to have a theme too, cute animals or very tasteful table pieces, such as the Dale Tiffany blue butterfly lamp. You think it's kind of sweet that he got you a purple unicorn pillow pet, maybe he thought you were lonely up here by yourself. Suddenly, you hear the door unlock, you quickly look over and see Harry storming out of Joseph's apartment with a black eye, mumbling swears quietly under his breath as he stomps down the stairs and out of sight.

That was way too fast for an entire fight to happen, it's only been like a minute at most! It's been just enough time for you to pull out a kitty from the last bag! Not to mention you didn't hear any punches being thrown or anything break or anyone walk or really move at all, you're pretty sure you would hear their loud footsteps, they are absolute units. You look back at Joseph's open doorway, Joseph walks out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him, and starts to walk over to your apartment. He wipes some blood from his mouth, he also has a black eye on the opposite side as Harry. Once Joseph is inside your place he quietly shuts your door then turns around and smiles brightly, his blood stained teeth on full display. It's deeply disturbing to see someone who normally has pristine white teeth with red ones.

"Okay! Now that that's out of the way, how are your gifts?" Joseph asks, he's clearly trying to act like that didn't happen and brush it off. "What-" You try to ask what the fuck happened and how a whole fight broke out in less than a minute but he quickly interjects before you can even get the second word out. "Oh! The food!!" He blurts as he rushes out of your apartment, leaving the door wide open to both yours and his apartment once more. You throw your hands up in the air in frustration and slowly stand, letting the blood rush back to your brain. You have a nice big stretch and that spot in your back that always pops, pops. You sigh in relief. "Come on! The food is almost done!" You look over and see Joseph's head peeking out of his apartment, after a moment of eye contact he retracts and disappears into his domain. "Coming, just… hold on..!" You yell back. You're already planning on doctoring him once you get over there, obviously he won't be able to enjoy dinner with a bloody mouth. You rush over to Joseph's place, shutting all the doors he left open behind you.

You take a good long look around Joseph's place, his kitchen is to the left of the entrance and to the right there's a wall with two doors. There's food and dirty dishes scattered all over the kitchen's white marble looking island and the marble looking counter tops by Joseph are looking particularly brutal. They seem to be covered in splatters from some kind of red sauce, you assume tomato.. but you're unsure. God, he has a lot of cabinets. There's two rows of them above the stove and fridge… speaking of the fridge he has a giant stainless steel one that makes you envious just looking at it. Yours isn't even close to that big, no wonder he offered to store some of your food. Oh! Your food! You rush back over to your apartment and grab all the food setting on the counter that you couldn't store and rush back to Joseph's place, carefully shutting the doors with your right foot as you go. Joseph notices you carrying a ton of shit and opens the fridge doors for you, he has plenty of room in there. You carefully find a spot for everything then shut the fridge. You look over at Joseph, he takes the small towel out of pocket and wipes his hands on it then leaves it on the counter. "So that's what he had that for.." You think to yourself.

You continue to nose about, there's a giant stainless steel microwave to the right of the fridge that's built in. You think you got a bit ripped off, you don't have a built in microwave either.. maybe he added it in. Maybe he's just slowly upgrading his whole apartment. Joseph looks up at you and smiles. "Welcome to your fall back place. Nose all you want, I have nothing to hide." Joseph says confidently. He turns back to the stove and continues to stir something in a damn expensive looking pot. "Just so you know I'm going to doctor your wounds before we eat." You inform him. "Aww.. How sweet." Joseph responds teasingly, never looking up from the concoction he's stirring. You grumble under your breath and start to walk further in, looking for anything that would show a single ounce of information about Joseph and his past.

As you walk against the wall that you were greeted with to the right of you when you entered, you scope the perfectly clean white walls for any photos of himself or family and friends, but find none. All you find are weird modern prints that you assume came with the place considering you also have some that look the exact same in your place. All that you find that interests you in this part of the large room are the two doors that you assume lead to the bedroom and bathroom… or maybe one is a closet. You almost open one of the doors, you finger tips barely brush against the cold steel door lever before you retract your hand. You don't want to seem like a creep on the first date… you'll at least wait until the second date for that. Joseph starts to whistle a little tune as he cooks, you giggle at him.

You continue forward, trying to ignore the doors that are just begging to be opened. There's a small wall on the left side of the open room that separates the living room from the kitchen. Right next to that small wall is a large, beautifully carved, dining table with spirals and some sort of symbols etched across the edges of the whole thing. It's seemingly made of spruce and has matching dining chairs with the exact same patterns carved along the sides, they're tucked neatly underneath the table. You pull one out, silently claiming it as the spot you will sit at for dinner and probably every time you come here. You admire it's deep, blood red, cushions and gently brush a hand across it, it's so soft.

You push down on it, it seems comfortable too. It seems everything he has in here is of good quality, even the pots and pans he has scattered around seem name brand. You walk back to the corner of the table and trace the symbols embedded into the edge, you examine the symbols but don't recognize a single one of them… For some reason they call out to you, almost like you've seen them before… perhaps in a dream. They almost look.. alien. You quietly try to change your minds subject and glace at the table's centerpiece, a large beautiful wooden bowl with tons of fresh fruits is sitting in the center of the table, along with 2 silver candle holders with a burning white candle in each on either side of the bowl. He seems like a damn good decorator.

You move on to the living room. Sleek, red, futuristic lamps that look like something straight out of a GTA pimp's pint house sets on either side of a big brown leather couch. The side tables they are perched upon are also made of spruce and have the same symbols and pattern as the dining table. You assume all his furniture are made by the same person. You respect the time and dedication someone took to make all these beautiful pieces of work. You gaze over towards the fire place, it's just a normal fireplace, though there are LOTS of knickknacks on the mantle.. you choose to save those for another time. You admire the coffee table in front of the couch, yep, same pattern as all the other furniture. God, it must have taken someone years to complete this whole set of furniture. It has two white marble looking coasters on either end of the side towards the couch and the remote to his tv is neatly sat in front of the left coaster.

Well, from that you can gather that he usually sits there, but you could be completely wrong and that could just be where he keeps it. You look above the fireplace, he has a giant flat screen tv with two speakers drilled into the wall on either side on the tv. Of course he has a separate sound system for his tv, you should have assumed based on his… more than comfortable lifestyle. You're starting to question the salary of the sheriff deputies of this town, there's no way it can be that good.. can it? You examine the rug underneath the coffee table and couch, it's quite spunky, very colorful… oddly enough. Kind of Boho-ish, but otherwise a normal rug. Maybe he wanted to confuse people with the sudden change of color scheme, because he seems to have a dark brown and red theme going on here. Even the throw pillows on his couch are blood red.

You walk over to the kitchen to check on Joseph, he's still stirring away but whatever he's cooking is starting to smell really good, so you assume it's very close to done. It does smell like some sort of tomato sauce.. your stomach growls in anticipation. You start to look for ways to help, you feel bad for not helping him, he's injured and he took the time to make an amazing meal for you both and you're just wandering around like a weirdo. You know he's going to try to stop you, but you have to at least try. You start to bring the MANY dirty dishes Joseph's accumulated to the sink but he quickly grabs one of the dishes that you're very precariously holding and won't let go. "What are you doing? I'm cooking, not you. I'll do the dishes, don't worry about it." He snatches the dishes from you and sets them carefully into the sink. "Shoo Shoo." Joseph says as he dismissively waves a hand at you, he turns off the stove unit he was using and puts the pot of delicious looking sauce onto the spruce cutting board to the left of the stove.

"Go sit at the dining table while I finish up." Joseph orders, you stand there, unmoving. Joseph looks up at you and squints his eyes at you. "It's a surprise, go.. shoo." Joseph waves his hand at you once more, you squint your eyes at him in response but reluctantly go and sit at your spot at the dinner table. After a few moments of just sitting there and piddling with your hands, Joseph yells out "Done!" You look up, Joseph sets a piping hot plate in front of you. "Do you want me to sit beside you or in front of you?" Joseph asks shyly. "Next to me." You answer with a smirk. You're trying to tease him and make him buckle, but he catches on immediately and gives you a look… one that screams "now get ready for the storm." You gulp. He sets his plate next to yours on the left and plops down. You take a long look at the beautiful food he's prepared, it's ratatouille with a tomato sauce spread across the top. He didn't give you a small amount either, thank god, you're famished.

"WAIT!" You shout, causing Joseph to jump out of his skin. "What? What's wrong? Is something wrong with the food?" Joseph asks frantically. "I FORGOT TO DOCTOR YOU." You announce loudly, Joseph looks at you absolutely dumbfounded. You stand straight up. "Do you have a first aid kit?" You ask. You look at Joseph and at such a close range you can see every little detail of his injuries, he has a pretty bad busted lip and his right eye looks like it's killing him, he looks like he can barely see out of it, not to mention it's bloodshot. You can't even imagine the damage Harry took. God, what are you going to do with these two idiots? Are you going to have to keep breaking up their arguments forever? "I have one in the bathroo-" Joseph gets cut off by you grabbing his chin to examine his face even closer.

"How the hell did you two fight and land punches in under a minute? I had just enough time to pull out a ceramic kitty cat and suddenly Harry came out of your apartment with a black eye and you were off the ground and somewhere else. There's no way either of you could have possibly moved that fast, it had been like.. forty seconds AT MOST. Not to mention Harry said he just wanted to talk, and he seems like the type of person who MEANS what he says. I know this is bit of a stretch but… I know you're not human. I don't care what you are, I don't need to know right now, tell me when you feel comfortable enough to, but I know you're not one. There's been too much evidence, the way you and Harry move is just… to precise and without flaw, you're both, no offense, bad at understanding anything to do with social boundaries or how to communicate or really anything human, and you both seem to have endless money. You both are extremely gentle around me, almost like you're scared to hurt me, and you both seem just a bit too smart. Not to mention you both stared at me flustered when I was thinking about you two not being human. I just wanted to tell you that I know and I don't care, I believe in ghosts and aliens and cryptids and shit and I'd care for you both even if you were both bigfoot. Now where is your bathroom?" You finish your rant and Joseph blinks at you in response. He sits very still for a few seconds before he finally snaps out of it and points towards the door closest to the front door.

"Thank you." You respond. You walk over and savor every moment of opening that damn door, once you're inside the bathroom you don't examine much, all you notice is the pretty grey and white shower curtain and the fact it seems VERY clean in there. You rummage under the bathroom counter and find a red plastic first aid kit along with a shit ton of cleaning supplies. "Well, at least he's cleanly.." You think to yourself as you shut the cabinet door. You leave the bathroom and shut the bathroom door behind you, unlike someone, and speed walk back over to Joseph, who is sitting there staring at you like a confused cat. You carefully look Joseph over and find a small cut on his right eyebrow and a brouse on his right arm. You lift his shirt to which earns you a very surprised and flustered reaction from Joseph, his face flushes bright red and he starts to breath very heavily.

He's ripped, he has a 6 pack and very pink pretty nipples. You find one very big brouse under Joseph's right arm, but otherwise find nothing. You think it's kind of weird that he only has injuries on the right side of his body, but decide not to mention it. You make him lean forward and you check his back, nothing. You sigh and push him back against his chair and pull his shirt back down. "I don't think I need this right now.." You say as you quietly set the first aid kit on the table next to your plate of steaming hot food. You rush over to the kitchen and grab a few paper towels and wet them under some warm sink water, after that you grab a couple of bags of frozen peas from Joseph's fridge then you run back over to the dining table and sit back down. Joseph looks a little teary eyed but you can't tell if it's from the pain from his injuries or not so you don't comment. You carefully start to dab at his lip, he winces and whimpers then clamps his eyes shut in response.

"Shhh… it's okay. It's okay.." You say quietly. You hear a soft sigh come from him and he untenses. His eyes remain shut but he seems more relaxed and at ease from your reassurance. A single tear runs down Joseph's left eye, you carefully wipe it with your thumb and continue to dub at his lip. You fold the paper towel each time too much blood gets on it. After you're done with his busted lip, you carefully lay the dirty paper towel to the side, neatly folded into a square, and grab a new one to start dubbing his eyebrow with it. Upon further inspection the blood from his eyebrow had actually dripped into his eye a bit, that's probably why it's so bloodshot and painful looking.

You appreciate the fact that he was so determined to cook you dinner that he neglected his own needs to do so but you also feel awful about it. Obviously, you wish he had taken care of himself first, you wouldn't have minded slightly burnt food.. or even mildly burnt food. You just want him to feel better. You very gently wipe his eyelid clean and he gasps slightly and tenses up once more, but quickly untenses and sighs after a moment. "Sorry.. it's okay.. It's not too terribly bad." You reassure him. You reach behind him and rub his back a bit, tears start to stream down his face. His face contorts and he starts to silently cry. "Oh Joseph.." You whisper, before pulling him into a big bear hug. He hesitantly hugs you back and sobs quietly into your shoulder. This is definitely not just from pain, you wonder what bothered him so badly.

"Shhh… it's okay… I'm here.. Was it stressful? Do you want to talk about what happened?" You ask. Joseph shakes his head slowly. "It's not that." Joseph replies, his voice is horse and quiet. You rub comforting circles into his back. "What is it then, honey?" You gently push for information, after a moment of contemplation Joseph responds. "I never had parents.. or really anyone who showed me any kind of affection.. in fact, I grew up alone.. I had people who supplied me food and the bare minimum of what I needed to survive, but otherwise, that's about it.. Actually, I think I'm what people refer to as "touched starved"." Joseph says, solemnly. He starts to break down even more and squeezes you close to him, but not enough to hurt you. You hug him tighter in response and in response to that he pushes out his chair a bit and picks you up, his hands are right under your ass. You squeak at the sudden touch and he sets you right in his lap, his hands return to their original positions, protectively wrapped around you.

You rest your chin on his left shoulder as he continues to sob into the crook of your neck. You rub his scalp through his neatly kept hair for a while, you quietly shush him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. You reassure him that it's okay and that he's safe and that you won't leave him. After a while of consoling, he calms down slightly. You pull away and grab his chin, he looks up at you with tears still flooding from his eyes. You give him a gentle kiss on the nose and continue to dab his right eye. He closed his eyes when you kissed him and when he opened them they were full of nothing but love. He smiles as bright as the sun and sighs. He tries to calm his breathing, he takes deep breaths through his nose and out his mouth. "It's okay… take your time. I just didn't want you to hurt anymore.. I figured it would feel good for you to be clean and have some frozen peas on your eye.. So I'm trying to hurry and finish up here so you can have some relief." You say as you finish up cleaning his final wound. "Take your time.." Joseph playfully responds with a smirk.

You set the dirty paper towel on top of the other one and open the first aid kit, you grab two butterfly closures and place on on his eye's cut and the other on his busted lip. It seems to help a lot, you grab one of the bags of frozen peas and place it right on his right eye. He lets out a deep sigh of relief and he pushes his face into your touch. "Good boy.." You quietly praise him, he groans in response. You grab the other pack of peas and attempt to lift up his right arm, he gets the memo and lifts his arm for you to put the peas under there. He holds the peas with his arm on the giant brouse and sinks back into his chair. He reaches up with his other hand and places it over your hand that's holding the peas. "Joseph..?" You whisper. "Mmm?" Joseph hums, calmly. "Don't you wanna eat?" You ask quietly. "I don't want your food to get cold… you worked so hard on it.." You confess. "No.. I'd rather sit here like this for the rest of eternity, but I will."

Joseph sits up straight with a long dragged out groan and you get out of his lap and sit in your chair. His hand slips off your and you put the peas in his hand. You grab a spoonful of your food and start to say "ahhh" for Joseph to eat it but when you look over and see Joseph's disappointed little puppy face you can't help but laugh at him a bit. He furrows his brows at you. "I'm sorry, you're just so cute." You respond as you hide your smile with your free hand. "You are too." Joseph says, you gurgles a bit of water to get the blood out of his mouth before he takes a bite of the food. He hums in approval. You use the same spoon take take a bite for yourself, damn.. it's good. "You did an excellent job, chef." You praise him. "Thank you, madam. I had to make sure I gave you only the best food in the whole town." Joseph responds. You giggle at him as you both start to feed each other.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

[mac-macarena]

Who Got the Kids in the Divorce? Theme Songs

YouTube Playlist (all links below are to YT) Spotify Playlist (organized by character)

Monkey Fam

The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy by Tom Cardy - While the story does not exactly line up with what happens in WGTKITD (obviously), it is hilariously very close, with Wukong being Smokin' Joe, his wife being Macaque, and his long lost daughter being Savage, of course. Some say many years ago, Before Joseph Rudeboy was Smokin' Joe, He had a wife, her name was Bo, Bo was with child in a happy home [...] Joseph Rudeboy was too slow, For a child that he'd never know, Joseph Rudeboy you're too slow, Burning inside Joseph died, But from the ash the man who rose was---Smokin' Joe [...] One day an outlaw came to town, "Come out here Smokin' Joe, You're just as well already dead," He wore a velvet cloak but Joe saw red [...] And as Joe fell, He beheld the outlaw's face, A young girl who'd seen it all, And grew up in a terrible place, Whose mother once told Joseph, To run and bring back help, A girl who thought her father, Had run out to save himself.

Here Before by Vashti Bunyan - This song is Wukong's view towards Rumble (Once I had a child, He was wilder than moonlight, He could do it all, Like he'd been here before), then Savage (Once I had a child, She was smiling like sunshine, She could see it all, Like she'd been here before), and, finally, MK (Then I had a child, Took his while like northern summer, And he knows it all, Like he's been here before), and how he lost the Eclipse Siblings and fears loosing MK too.

The Truth from 36 Questions - This is literally just a song about how many different views of truth there is to the tale of the Monkey Family---how each one of them views it differently, and how they chose to hide or distort the truth. Generally, I interpret the two singers as Rumble and Savage, speaking about each other and about their parents, and perhaps both of them are speaking to MK. And what’s true for you, Doesn’t have to be true forever, And sometimes the truth isn’t always, For the better, It’s something that we aspire to Or maybe, that’s something we say, Until it gets in the way [...] But the truth is, The truth doesn’t exist in, Black and white, And sometimes two sides, Can both be right [...] The truth is that you will never really know, The truth is that you will only think you know.

Too Far by ChaoticCanineCulture - This song can represent each member of the Monkey Family, as they all have moments where they "went too far, leaving scars." Generally, Wukong and Rumble are the more openly "guilty" parties and therefore fit the song more, but Macaque (especially Macaque) and Savage both hold a lot of guilt too. Looking inside my mind I see the truth, I was always the one who tormented you, This was my choice, my evil doing, 'Cause I died inside when you stop moving [...] There's no excuse for what I did to you.

Crazy Human Psycho Crush (mashup) by doodleoodle - The chaotic intertwining of multiple different stories/viewpoints fits the Monkey Fam perfectly. Oh, and I know, and I know, and I know that I've been acting so strange, But you should know that you're the one who made me this way, I'm a psycho just like you said I'd be [...] I feel like all of this has aged me, Right on the edge of twenty-two, You look like you've just seen a monster, Is that what I look like to you? [...] 'Cause I'm so sick of the drama and I hate to shout, But you drag it out of me [...] You can't love someone and just let go, And yeah, I know that I'm a little bit intense, right, But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like, (Three words, two hearts, one maybe Say something before I go crazy now)

Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer - It runs in the family, what can I say? Mostly the speakers of the song would be Rumble and Savage equally. Mary, have mercy, Now look what I've done, But don't blame me because I can't help where I come from, And running is something that we've always done well and mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from, Run from their pity, from responsibility, Run from the country and run from the city, I can run from the law, I can run from myself, I can run for my life, I can run into debt, I can run from it all, I can run 'till I'm gone, I can run for the office, and run for the cause, I can run using every last ounce of energy, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot run from my family, They're hiding inside me, corpses on ice, Come in if you'd like but just don't tell my family, They'd never forgive me, they say that I'm crazy, But they would say anything if it would, Shut me up.

Shadowpeach

Peach by The Front Bottoms - Self-explanatory. You are my peach, you are my plum, You are my earth, you are my sun [...] Once I sink my teeth, your skin's not so tough, I'll leave a tiny cut, there'll be a lot of blood, But once you wipe it up, You will feel better about our entire situation.

No Children by The Mountain Goats - Self-explanatory. I am drowning, There is no sign of land, You are coming down with me, Hand in unlovable hand, And I hope you die, I hope we both die.

First Burn from Hamilton - Macaque's PoV. The implied cheating can be replaced instead with Wukong listening to Azure over Macaque's warnings about the battle. Heaven forbid someone whisper, "He's part of some scheme," Your enemy whispers, So you have to scream, I know about whispers [...] If you thought you were mine (mine, mine), Don't.

Red Like Roses Part II by Jeff Williams - Macaque (red): I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone, I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong, How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay? Now I'm stuck inside a nightmare every single effing day [...] I know you didn't plan this, You tried to do what's right, But in the middle of this madness, I'm the one (I'm the one) you left to win this fight.

Wukong (white): I know you're broken down by anger and by sadness, You feel I left you in a world that's full of madness, Wish I could talk to you, if only for a minute, Make you understand the reasons why I did it, I wanna tell you that you're all that ever mattered, Want you to know that for eternity I'm shattered, I tried so hard just to protect you but I failed to, And in a prison of abandonment I've jailed you, I never planned that I would leave you there alone, I was sure that I would see you when I made it back home. [...] I didn't have a choice, I did what I had to do, I made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you.

This is Love by Air Traffic Conditioner - Both Wukong and Macaque could be perceived as singing this at different moments. There is an implication that their fates are forever horrible interconnected as they always come back to one another despite it all. You're no good, you're no good, You could kill me and you should, I'm an idiot for thinking, This was anything but blood, On the wall, on the couch, On the corner of my mouth, You must like being the victim, You've done nothing to get out, Of this pattern of pain, Washed away by the rain, You'll forgive me if I promise, And do nothing but the same, This is life until death, Could be my last dying breath, But this is love, love, shut up, this is love [...] It's pathetic, I know, A jealous fool who won't let go, If I was sorry for my actions, Would I ever stoop so low?

Goodbye Old Friend by The Devil Makes Three - Fairly self-explanatory. Wukong and Macaque can both be the singer, reminiscing on their complex relationship of love and hatred. I need you and I want you 'cause I know you from before, I hate you and I fear you but I hold open the door, I see you and you see me and we know what must be done, So we draw knives and lock eyes 'cause it does no good to run. [...] I've missed you, you know that's true and I've retraced every scar, [...] I chased you to embrace you like the sun chases the moon, I burn you and you burn me but I know I'll see you soon [...] I've held you and you've loved me but our lives cannot be spared, I trust you and despised you, shadowed your every move, Scorned you and warned you, befriended everyone you've used.

Old Friends by Ylvis - The calm reveal of someone being twisted ("I'm aiming at the kids") reflects nicely on Wukong and Macaque's relationship post-fire where Wukong was shocked to see what had happened to Macaque and how Macaque was simultaneously so calmly cunning yet unstoppably demented. Their respective "wives" in the song is the other one, simply their past selves before the battle/the fire. And he threw a rock, So I threw a rock, We both put some gravel in a sock, And he threw the sock, I said we should stop, He smiled at me then threw a rock in a sock. [<-these lines are about how they both keep fighting] [...] Oh [Macaque], oh [Macaque], don't you worry bout me now, I'm doing just fine on my own, There are other things to life than your soft skin against mine, And [Tripitaka] is helping me move on, I'm moving on.

Genghis Khan by Miike Snow - A song about how possessive, jealous and selfish Shadowpeach are of to one another. I know there's no form, And no labels to put on, To this thing we keep [...] 'Cause I don't really want you, girl, But you can't be free, 'Cause I'm selfish, I'm obscene [...] I wanna make up my mind, But I don't know myself, No I don't know myself [...] I get a little bit Genghis Khan, I don't want you to get it on, With nobody else but me.

Kiss With a Fist by Lungs - Self-explanatory. Shadowpeach's relationship is all about hurting the other. It's romantic! You hit me once, I hit you back, You gave a kick, I gave a slap, You smashed a plate over my head, Then I set fire to our bed, oh [...] I broke your jaw once before, I spilled your blood upon the floor, You broke my leg in return, So sit back and watch the bed burn, Love sticks, sweat drips, Break the lock if it don't fit [...] A kick in the teeth is good for some, A kiss with a fist is better than none.

Kiss Me You Animal by Burn the Ballroom - Self-explanatory. Another song about how Shadowpeach just can't keep their hands off each other, and how they love to see the other hurt. You say you wanna tear right through me, I welcome you to try (Kiss me, kiss me), I wanna see your teeth girl lemme see you grind, yeah, Woah [...] Kiss me you animal, I need to take you in real slow, Cause dying on your lips is how I wanna go, Connect with the sound you're making, Connect with my body whoa, Kiss me you animal and don't ever let me go.

Therapy from tick, tick... BOOM! - Literally listen to it. It is the pinnacle of Macaque and Wukong talking about their miscommunications and struggling to get along yet attempting to. Wukong: I feel bad, that you feel bad, About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad, About what I said, about what you said, About me not being able to share a feeling [...] I was afraid that you'd be afraid, If I told you that I was afraid of intimacy, If you don't have a problem with my problem, Maybe the problem's simply co-dependency [...] I thought, You Thought, I reacted shallowly, When I reacted to you. [...] If I were you and I'd done what I'd done, I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring, Having said what I said.

Macaque: If I thought that what you thought, Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts, Then my reaction to your reaction, to my reaction, Would have been more revealing [...] Yes, I know, that now you know, That I didn't know, that you didn't know, That when I said, "No," I meant, "Yes, I know," And that now I know that you knew, that I knew you adored me

Both: I'm not mad that you got mad when I got mad, When you said I should go drop dead!

Eclipse Twins

Evelyn Evelyn from Evelyn Evelyn - Self-explanatory, although not technically correct as Savage and Rumble did not grow up "closer than most." In fact, they are closer post-everything than they were as kids. Still, the point stands that they are two siblings who have a lot of differing opinions, perspectives, and arguments. One side struggles with keeping everything perfectly together while the other desperately wants to be free. Rumble (female): I’m only trying to do what is best for us [...] Looking in your eyes, I’m coming home [...] Now I realize, I’m not alone [...] But you never cared for me [...] ‘Cause you’d never dare to be [...] ‘Cause you never listen, you’re always insisting, I’m just reminiscing, I feel something missing, I just want you here with me, God can’t we just get along?

Savage (male): Well, I never asked for this, I never wanted this, All that I want is some time to myself [...] Just get away from me, please just stop touching me, You’re always trying to be somebody else [...] Well, you’re only scared of me [...] Why don’t you let me free? [...] ‘Cause you never listen, you’re always insisting, just stop reminiscing, I feel something missing, I just want my privacy, God won’t you leave me alone!

Wake Up by ChaoticCanineCulture - The song starts with Savage singing about how "they" (Macaque, Rumble) are haunting the halls and "killing her," and how she can't take the demand of killing her own father. My brother i'm begging you please understand, When I cry, I really can't take the demand, Oh they're killing me. Rumble continues the song as he finds himself just as lost and haunted as his sister, but with a flavor of self-torment. These dreams are made of things, I can't deny, I cannot flee, They're constantly tormenting me, can't close my eyes tonight. Then, the song ends with them begging to be saved. Wake up wake up, they're here, Please won't someone just save me?

Wukong's

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives - Relatively self-explanatory. Wukong reflects on how his love only ever brought pain to others so he shouldn't get too close to them. It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest, With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful [...] There are times when I still wonder about you, You are someone I have loved, but never known, And you'll never see the reasons I had, For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you, I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel, I am all the things they might have said to you, Do you ever think of me and my two hands? And wonder why they never soothed your fevers? [...] And wonder why they never held you gently? And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?

My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone - Fairly self-explanatory. Much like the singer, Wukong reflects on how much he has been given in his life that he might not have necessarily deserved (such as forgiveness), and how out of touch he feels with reality sometimes. Do you feel me? Take a look inside my brain, The people always different but it always feels the same [...] The haters wanna hurt me and I'm laughin' at the pain [...] They tell me that I'm special, I smile and shake my head, I'll give them stories to tell friends about the things I said, They tell me I'm so humble, I say, "I'm turning red," They let me lie to them and don't feel like they've been misled, They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? [...] The people blend together but I would be lost without their love, Can you heal me? Have I gained too much? When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch, Is there a real me? Pop the champagne, It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain.

I'm Your Man by Mitski - Completely inspired by this animatic, which will give you all the context to the lyrics you need. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, No one will ever love me like you again, So when you leave me, I should die, I deserve it, don't I? [...] People always gave me love, Others were never to blame after all, You believe me like a god, I'll betray you like a man.

Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood - Wukong apologizes for not being able to be as affectionate and trusting as he used to be, but promises he wants to do better for his family and friends, and Macaque. It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for me, I swear, I'm really trying, Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best, I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet, I still don't know who you are, I only know that I'm still lonely, That morbid sort where even company can't cure me, And the more you reassure, the less I trust [...] I've lived more lives than enough, I haven't died quite as much, But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up [...] I'm catatonic in your arms, Crying, "How did I cause so much harm?" I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor, Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours [...] I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress, I promise, I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear, I'm so fucking sorry, I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all.

You Were Perfect & I'm Sorry by Mickey Darling - Very much a reflection of the title itself---Wukong believes Macaque deserved everything and is sorry he ruined everything, but with a self-deprecating egotistical twist to it. You were perfect and I'm so sorry, I'm such a dick, But you still love me, I still regret letting you leave me, Don't you forget you used to need me [...] How can I love someone that can't stand, The thought of loving me back? Why do I think I need that? [...] I remember what you said, You were wishing I was dead, Now, you're wishing me the best, 'Cause my song's stuck in your head.

Feed My Ego by Mickey Darling - Wukong mourning the relationship he lost, but make it self-deprecating egotistical again. I hurt u, For selfish reasons, U are all, I ever needed, needed, needed [...] U would be so good without me, happily, Nobody could ever be as, sad as me, All i need is compliments please, constantly, I make people think i’m happy, comedy.

HEAVEN SAYS. (remix) by GamePlayah - Wukong atones for his sins on the journey, slowly converting and accepting the pain from the fillet as his punishment. Now spell sinner: F-R-I-E-N-D-S Wrong! The correct spelling is Y-O-U, Just let go, Your past is sinful, Stop standing up, You can’t escape. [...] Answer for your crimes, Beg for mercy.

It's Been So Long by The Living Tombstone - Self-explanatory. Wukong mourns the death of his kids, and seeks revenge on their killer (Erlang Shen), though Tripitaka reminds him killing isn't justified. Justification is killing me, But killing isn't justified, What happened to my son? I'm terrified, It lingers in my mind, And the thought keeps on getting bigger, I'm sorry my sweet baby, I wish I'd been there.

the last beautiful thing I saw is the thing that blinded me by Paris Paloma - Despite the misleading title, this song is Wukong's perspective on Macaque's second death at his hands, albeit in a theatric, poetic, solemn way that is more Macaque's style. The moment of Macaque's death and imprisonment was difficult, and Wukong cut himself off from feeling anything ("blinding" himself). The dove represents Macaque and how he "became a demon," but the fact that "somebody else" killed her reveals the story is made-up and Wukong feels a disconnection from reality. I came across an injured dove, I wanted to put her out of her misery, There came no signal from above, No sign, no guide, I thought "whatever could this mean?" And with my hand I picked her up, And in that moment, oh it shifted magically [...] Because I wanted all of it to stop, And I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't know how [...] And I looked up, into the sun, It separated all the colors, And the ice, into my eyes, It fell and left me blind.

Used to be Young by Miley Cyrus - Wukong reflects on his younger years, both the good and the bad, and how people still believe he should be how he used to be. I know I used to be crazy, Messed up, but, God, was it fun, I know I used to be wild, That's 'cause I used to be young, Those wasted nights are not wasted, I remember every one, I know I used to be crazy, That's 'cause I used to be young, You tell me time has done changed me, That's fine, I've had a good run I know I used to be crazy, That's 'cause I used to be young.

Macaque's

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives - Self-explanatory. Macaque always felt like Wukong's shadow, and wished he could have been seen as more than what he was, and that he hadn't followed Wukong so blindly. The moon will sing a song for me, I loved you like the sun, Bore the shadows that you made, With no light of my own, I shine only with the light you gave me [...] (I could've been anyone, anyone).

iGhost by MNQN - Macaque talks both fondly and angrily about how all he ever was was Wukong's "Van Gogh" (the painting, and the artist), and how he fears getting hurt again by getting too close. You fooled me once, You fooled me twice, again, I had a hunch, That it was all pretend [...] I'm hypnotised, You're telling lies again, You were my life, And now you're not my friend [...] I'll play it safe, I cannot be broken, I've been erased and now I'm gone again [...] The senses deceive us from time to time, And it is prudent never to trust wholly those, Who have deceived us even once, But yet, I still come back.

taking a stand by updog - Macaque lamenting to Wukong how he was neglected, ignored, and pushed aside, and how he won't stand for it anymore. And no amount of words could ever fix the damage done, No matter how much you ignore it wont come undone, Hard to blame you when you acted out of cowardice [...] Picturing your end, I will not pretend that, It might feel so sweet, You left me no option. 'Cause this scar it never healed, All the hurt will be revealed.

The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird from The Hunger Games - Macaque tells the tale of how he and Wukong grew up, then grew apart, and questions what Wukong would do when he was gone. Well, all right, I'm bad, but then, you're no prize either, All right, I'm bad, but then, that's nothing new, You say you won't love me, I won't love you neither, Just let me remind you what I am to you [...] It's sooner than later that I'm six feet under, It's sooner than later that you'll be alone, So who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder, For when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own.

taixu (ネジ巻き師と太虚鳥) by Iasah - This one is more symbolic, fitting Macaque's love of theatre. The white crow and black crow represent Macaque's selves, but also his fates (Which of the crows told you the truth? [...] The crows were both myself, Or was it you?). The song reflects on how he used to perceive that he and Wukong were destined to do great things together, but then it became that only Wukong was destined and Macaque, "was not chosen." The list of deaths is both literal and metaphorical, representing, in order: The first end came so suddenly, You couldn't say goodbye to me (his death in the fire; literal), The tenth end came with agony, I thought that we were meant to be (Wukong killing him; literal), The hundredth end was simply just, An apathetic day for me (the resurrections of the Eclipse Sibs; literal), The thousandth end was ecstasy, The people begged for me to bleed (the failure of killing Wukong; metaphorical), The millionth end was vanity, I thought I saw you smile at me (Possessed!Wukong fighting Macaque; metaphorical). By the end of the song, Macaque has realized his life is up to him to choice (I killed the crow that tried deceiving, "No, the world is up to me!").

Pomegranate Lips by Derivakat - Macaque would make this his self-assigned theme song because it's cool and mysterious, which he thinks he is, and also all about how someone screwed him over but he's better than them. Been through nine circles of hell, even dragged some people down, I can cut right through a soul with a snap, don't need a spell, So what gave you the right? I'm the queen of death and life, Whether you like it or not [...] So bite your tongue and watch your back, Show some respect or you'll get a taste of these, Pomegranate lips.

Tool by Derivakat - Macaque spitefully believes that Wukong only ever sought to use him like a tool. So I'll cut you off once, you say try, try again, I'm ghosting you twice, you still claim I'm your friend, You set me on fire three times, now I'm done, 'Cause you lit the fuse, and you loaded the gun [...] I'm done with your lies, and I'm done with your games, So cry all about it and I'll take the blame.

Eden by Derivakat - Opposite to the anger in Tool, this "version" of Macaque is much calmer, though sadder, about how he believes Wukong never cared about him, though he believes it wasn't necessarily Wukong's intention. We were living in a garden made for two, But two is one too many and he doesn't understand, When he crushes all the flowers that I grew, I want him off this land [...] 'Cause he's nothing but a liar, Caught up in his own desire, He started this fire, so let him fall in flames, You know he's the one to blame [...] Kick him out of paradise, Finally he'll realize, Too late to apologize to Eden, To Eden, to Eden.

Mrs. Bluebeard by They Might Be Giants - Macaque laments bitterly on how he never should have trusted Wukong, and how the world is cruel. I want to say I learned something valuable today, Alas, my murdered remains are incapable of learning anything, Trusted you, I should have never trusted you, In fact I never did, What's the use [...] Most people wouldn't hang the corpses up for review, Dearest, I can only hope most people are nothing like you [...] Is this how you thank somebody, For their selfless loyalty? Is this what you do? Pardon me for failing to grasp how this works, Excuse my breathtaking ignorance.

The Haunting by Set It Off - Macaque talks about how he suffered and how he will torment Wukong for the rest of his existence. So you dragged me by my feet, To a ghost town, where you buried me, No wonder no one heard my screams [...] Run away, boy, if you couldn't tell, Baby's got a thirst for blood [...] Catch a lover, turn an enemy, Just to watch them burn alive [...] No one will love you like I did, Will treat you like I did, So go on, wear that scarlet letter, No one will love you like I did, Will touch you like I did, So good luck finding something better.

Problematic by BoyWithUke - Macaque sings about how Wukong broke his heart and his trust. Why did you love me so? Watch me as I let you go? Told you that I'm better off alone without you in my home, I let you in my heart, let you back into my arms, Fool for thinking we could make it faking every single part, I thought that maybe you could be the final fucking remedy, The one to pull me out if I were ever stuck inside a dream, I'm looking back at times we had, the things we did and things we can't, How could you stab me in the back? I thought you were better than that.

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies - A good ol' battle song between Shadowpeach. The singer is Macaque rather than Wukong here as the singer laments that the fight is no longer worth it, yet he can't let go and must keep fighting. Let's take a trip down memory lane (do you remember me?), The words circlin' in my brain (look what you did to me), You can treat this like another, all the same, But don't cry like a bitch when you feel the pain [...] This is hardly worth fighting for, But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore, When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor, It'll be a long time comin', Bet you got the message now, 'Cause I was never goin', Yeah, you're the one that's going down!

Hermit the Frog by Marina and the Diamonds - While its also a Savage song, the romantic undertones push it towards Macaque. This song reflects Macaque's conflicted mental state post-family-break-up, where he's started to recover himself a little bit, but still feels this hatred inside of himself. Yeah, I feel it coming on When I've been static for too long, And an explosion comes in time, Before I go and cross the line [...] Well, I went to the doctors believing, The devil had control over me and, I was finding it hard to breathe in, Finding it hard to fight the feeling [...] You can take your double standard love and keep it, I can't help the devil likes to make my heart a double bed.

Villain by Bella Poarch - Macaque sings about how he'll be the villain, but make it flirty. I'll be the villain tonight, I kinda like when you despise me after we fight, (Feels so much better when I'm), Pushin' all your buttons 'til you're crawlin' on the floor, You say you hate my guts, but you're still coming back for more [...] What's you and I without a little pain? Tastes bittersweet each time you say my name, If love was poison, we would drink it anyways, Feels so good playing these wicked little games.

SAY THAT YOU MISS ME by Mickey Darling - Macaque both taunts Wukong for what he did (Hey necrophiliac what are you doing? I said why are you trying to fuck me, If I am dead to you?) and demands an answer from Wukong, not willing to honestly admit that he misses what they had, instead hiding behind anger. I said "you broke my heart," You said "boo hoo," I said "I'm going to leave," You said "please do," I said "I hated you," You said "me too" [...] It's harder than you think finding someone for me, That could ever compete with somebody like you, I cant help that I hate every fucking girl I date, Cause it always feels the same, like im cheating on you, Hate that I have to say, babe, I made a mistake, Thinking anybody could have ever been you, They'll never be you.

Hell and You by Amigo the Devil - A song portraying Macaque's obsession with Wukong, be it in love or as enemies, or something twistedly in-between. Cause I'd rot in hell with you, If you'd just ask me to, I love the shitty things we do together, Live with me in this sin forever, Hell and you, I know you want it too [...] I'd crawl in bed with you, Even on someone else's blood on top of someone else's love, In the worst motel we find, Cause home is the last place that I'd stand to be with anyone but you.

Cannibal by Naethan Apollo - Another song about how Macaque is obsessed with Wukong, even when he hurts him, as he struggles to choose between leaving him alone entirely or continuing to seek his attention. Think I got the message, Thought our love was destined, But it's more like a death wish, A guarantee for misery [...] Tell me when I overreact, No, tell me again, please, I love being told what to do, But only when I'm told by you, At least, that's what I used to think, But nowadays, I'm on the brink.

The Red Means I Love You by Madds Buckley - Another song about Macaque being obsessed with Wukong, but this time it's set when he truly was obsessed with him---post-fire, post-imprisonment, post-resurrections. This Macaque can't see clearly at all, and is obsessed with making Wukong bleed if it's the only way to feel close to him. They say such a shame, I turned out this way, A maniac, Well, yeah, I get manic when I cause a panic, And of course, I'm excited when I see you around [...] You leave me high and dry, A rush comes to my mind at the drops, Of blood you leave behind, Run as you might, my love will never, ever, Stop.

TERRIBLE THINGS by Axie - This song follows the degraded mental state of "zombie" Macaque, post-Eclipse Sibs' resurrection, and how he knows he is doing terrible things, but that he cannot bring himself to feel anything remorseful, until time goes on, and things start changing inside him. This song also lists his deaths: 30 years with torture you can’t comprehend (the fire), 40 years, they’re seeking for means to an end (killed and imprisoned by Wukong), 50 years attached onto puppeteer strings (the Eclipse Sibs' resurrection, and his subsequent debt to LDB). The song begins to hint towards Macaque regretting and wanting to be free near the end. I just want to die, yeah, So please just let me die!, I’m undefeatable, I'm thriving, ‘Cause I know a thing or two when it comes to being killed, It’s oh so very painful, And I don’t want it to happen again, and again, and again!

Savage's

Catabolic Seed by The Scary Jokes - Savage feels lost and hopeless after everything that's happened to her, and she desperately wants to feel like she's in control. That dissipated so fast, seems the good times never last, And I always fall flat on my back, like an upside-down cat, But is bad luck really such a crime? [...] I want to destroy everything that's mine [...] (I'm safe, I'm whole, I've got it under control), My structure's compromised, (I'm safe, I'm whole, I've got it under control), But you still batter at all my fault lines, (And I will protect you even if you won't protect me too), I can't run, I can't hide, but you can't say I didn't try.

Second Child, Restless Child by The Oh Hellos - She was born the second child, though truly she wasn't the restless child---that was Rumble. But the song does reflect how she wanted to run away from it all. And they saw trouble in my eyes, They were quick to recognize the devil in me [...] And Heaven knows how hard I tried, But the devil whispered lies I believed [...] You've got to go on, further than you've ever gone, You've got to run far from all you've ever known.

Shared Eyes by Blixemi - Savage laments about how misunderstood she is and how mistreated she was by her family, and how much she simultaneously wants to hurt them and wants their attention. I figured this would be, A great time to misunderstand me [...] I used to beg and plead, But you sit there ever silently, 'Cause you can't hear it, Won't stand to hear it [...] I'm not who you think I am, If you think of me at all [...] You've let hate blossom, Now you cannot recognize [...] I wish your silence came from hate, Then at least I'd know why I'm to blame [...] So fine, I'll find the rage, To scorch out on my own, And in my wreckage, may you burn upon your throne [...] It seems to me, That I have always been the problem, Though I'd wish to solve it [...] I'm not who I think I am, When you think you've seen it all, In this frozen state of apathy, I've blossomed with every flaw, To hate I've fallen, And I now can't recognize, Your eyes that you despise [...] This feels wrong, It's not playing out right, How am I colder now, Upon a bridge I chose to ignite? [...] You close your eyes but open mine, I hate the way you make me hate myself for sharing eyes, You're not who you think you are, And I wish I never knew, I don't want to see the irony, That you hate me for being you.

Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz - Savage copes with lighting fires, and she likes being dramatic. This song would be her jam. Let a girl be edgy and cringey. Insane, inside, The danger gets me high, Can't help myself, Got secrets I can't tell, I love the smell of gasoline, I light the match to taste the heat, I've always liked to play with fire.

Dead Mom from Beetlejuice - Savage sings to her Alive Dad, Wukong. Alternative lyrics can be found in the comment section on WGTKITD... somewhere. And no one sees me, Nothing seems to fit, Mamma is this it? Are you receiving? I want something to believe in or I'm done.

Already Dead by KittenSneeze - Savage talks about how she felt almost "possessed" by Macaque and Rumble as they forced her to fight and attempt to kill her own father, and how, now, she can't tell what she does or doesn't want anymore. I woke up in a daze, My mind in a haze, The smell of devastation lingers, What did he make me do? Or did I want to? I can't get the blood off my fingers [...] You don't need to believe me but just understand, That you can't get too close, Not with what I have planned [...] Do any of you know what it's like to walk through the fire? Know how to fight the crushing desire? Go with a knife to do what's required? I'm already dead since you got in my head!

Daddy's Little Monster by TryHardNinja - As the title suggests, Savage pleads for others to understand that she doesn't want to be cruel, she's just "daddy's little monster," referring to Macaque (for the most part). She wants to start anew, but feels like she's kept in a prison, especially as she looks at herself and remembers what she looks like now... Please don't be afraid, we're a little bent, Broken souls looking for a way to start again [...] You need us, we need you, it'll be alright, Yeah, it's alright, We don't want to stay under lock and key, You can help break the curse, we all wanna leave [...] If we could only shed our shells, Wear a mask and escape these cells, On the surface, we could start new.

Miss Wanna Die by JubyPhonic - Savage isn't exactly about being resurrected, and she isn't happy with her life... She would resonate with this song a lot. It both fits her character, and is a song she would listen to. Ah wanna die, wanna die, But don't really wanna die, You were there, you would care, Making me aware, Every scar, all the blood, More and more, they’re never done, Not enough, not enough, Ah wanna die, wanna die, But don't really wanna die, If I died, you would cry, And I don't know why [...] I wanna live, wanna live, Deep inside I've always been, Reaching out for a hand, so don’t let this be the end.

The Devil Within by Digital Daggers - Let's be real, this is how Savage sees herself, or wants to see herself. Cool, mysterious, dangerous... But really she's just angry. And dangerous. But, the song's vibes still stand---she wants to hurt others and protect herself. I made myself at home, In the cobwebs and the lies, I'm learning all your tricks, I can hurt you from inside, I made myself a promise, You would never see me cry, 'Til I make you [...] I'm gonna make you suffer, This hell you put me in, I'm underneath your skin, The devil within [...] Look what you made of me, Now I'm the heavy burden that you can't bear.

Rumble's

Sin Triangle by Sidney Gish - Rumble desperately wants to be like everybody else, but struggles with his own inner demons as he tries to fit in and be cool as a young demon, and then struggles with rebuilding his family as he feels guilty for destroying it in order to get what he'd wanted. Two-faced bitches never lie, And therefore I never lie, Diagram this sin triangle for me tonight, because, I don't know what to say, A sickness by another name, Wouldn't be sweet either but, With luck, it would at least look much more tame [...] Bill Woodruff here has something on his mind, He wants something, In fact [...] You want certain things from other people and your environment, The way you go about getting those things, Reveals your personality [...] Did you ever want, so much, To make a good impression on someone? What did you do? How accepted was your personality? Did you ever feel alone, out of place, When you wanted very much to be part of the group?

¿Viva la Gloria? (Little Girl) by Green Day - On the inside, Rumble is cracking under the knowledge of everything he did to harm (manipulate, deception, double-crossing) his family. He feels like a stray without a home. Little girl, little girl, Why are you crying? Inside your restless soul, Your heart is dying [...] There is no place like home, When you got no place to go [...] Little one, little one, The sky is falling, Your lifeboat of deception, Is now sailing [...] Your bloodshot eyes, Will show your heart of treason, Little girl, little girl, You dirty liar, You're just a junkie, Preaching to the choir [...] The traces of blood, Always follow you home, Like the mascara tears, From your getaway, You're walking with blisters, And running with shears, So unholy.

Icicles by The Scary Jokes - Rumble convinces himself of his self-entitlement; that he is better than everyone else. He is jealous of what everyone else has, both in past and present. He hates having to always be the one to "play nice." But, at the same time, his flaws (The one where you are crying, And I don't do anything at all, directly referring to his treatment of Savage) are catching up, and he can't stay on the pedestal he put himself on forever. Get in your zone, don't even look at them at all, Their shallow observations will only stall the transformation, You've become art, how could they even start to see, Beyond your presentation when they've got no imagination? [...] I can only be forgiven if I'm giving myself up to you, On a silver serving tray, Must I bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth, While our lovely company appears so entertained? [...] My world has turned so cold, but I won't cry, 'Cause icicles don't soften when they die, So why should I?

Soup Song by Nep - Rumble has very mixed feelings towards his family, and he struggles under the weight of being the "good one" when no one else will try. I hate you and I loved you for a very long time, I do not share any more, I'd ask you how'd you do if I was feeling kind, I do not dare anymore, My mom got a new job, and my dad's doing just fine, I do not mind anymore [...] If I had a tendency to yell, Your ears would be numb, If I had it in me to tell you off, You would be done, I'm not used to feeling so down and so dumb, Guess I thought that I was lovable, Kinda thought that I was lovable [...] I put my head down, and you stepped on my neck, I cannot take any more.

Smokey Eyes by Lincoln - Rumble desperately wants to bring his family back together, and struggles through his emotions with how difficult it is. The song also has implications towards his struggles with addictions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some people want to be your friend, Some people just want to be free, And the worst thing about me, Is that I’m somewhere in between, I might miss you, But I’m still trying to get clean [...] Quiet lies that you’re telling to, Those black and screaming skies [...] This is not what all my idols told me college would be like, I hope someday you learn to take your own advice [...] So help me make amends with all my friends, Most other people are just dead ends, There’s nothing worse than making friends.

How Did You Love by Shinedown - Rumble would totally sing this family to his family, specifically his parents, questioning, "how did you love?" and what they left behind. You can try to fight it, just like every other careless mistake, How do you justify? I'm mystified by the ways of your heart, With a million lies, the truth will rise to tear you apart [...] Nothing ever feels the quite same when you are what you dreamed, And you will never look at anything the same when you see what I see, How we forget ourselves, lose our way from the cradle to the grave [...] No one gets out alive, every day is do or die, The one thing you leave behind, Is how did you love, how did you love?

[yuridovewing]

Actually Dovewing being the one to fail to save Flametail in RazorVerse puts me one step closer to that Tom Cardy animatic i eventually wanna do with her

[scarlettgauthor]

[to the tune of Tom Cardy's Big Breakfast]

I don't regret ordering the BIG BATH TUB I know I'll feel so good when I'm... INSIDE THE BIG BATH TUB

OKAY SO if you've read anything I've ever written you might be aware that I have a deep and abiding love of a Big Bathtub. Tragically, this was something I did not have access to in my personal life, as the house we bought had a baby tub for babies who don't like baths. Seriously, this thing was 15" tall on the outside and maybe had 12" of soaking depth if you were lucky. I still took baths, but I complained about it the whole time.

No more.

Now I have Big Bathtub!!!! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!! I can get my boobs AND my knees underwater at the same time! I'm gonna be making cauldrons of lady soup in there! My 6'1" wife is gonna be able to take baths and be comfortable!

If you can't find me, look for me in the Big Bathtub.

(Don't look for me.)

"Scarlett!" I hear you (a rhetorical device) saying, "I love that for you, but I am also jealous! How do I get a Big Bathtub of my very own?"

Well, my friend, if there's one thing I love more than Big Bathtub, it is oversharing about home improvement projects.

SPECIFIC MONEY TALK TO FOLLOW

Given how absolutely fucking impossible it is to find any guidance online about how much this shit costs when you're just starting the research, I'll start here: This cost us $11,466.16 and took two days to install. We live in a very high COL area, and from what other research I did and estimates we got, $10-12k was about what we could expect to pay for a new bathtub and shower surround that wasn't The Same Fiberglass Shit We Already Had, AND we would have had to bring in multiple contractors.

Some necessary background: My wife and I bought our house about eleven years ago, when house prices in Seattle were at a historic low. My mom gifted us money for the down payment, which was a huge privilege, but if she gifted us the same amount of money now it would buy us precisely jack and shit. We have the stability we have due to a rare combination of privilege and luck, and I am grateful for it literally every day.

The incredibly low price we bought this house at also allowed us to manage to stay afloat through our last seven-ish years of chronic under-employment. I won't get deeply into the details, but we spent a lot of time in a place where buying myself a package of nice butter was a luxury I had to plan for. A little over a year ago my wife got a really good job (after a year of unemployment) and this summer I got a much-overdue promotion at my day job and a significant raise! Between those two things, we've finally been in a place where we can save money for house projects instead of going into debt for them, which still seems like a fucking miracle! It hasn't gotten old yet! I don't know if it ever will!

Flush on that success, earlier this this fall I got quotes for an addition on the house (something we've wanted almost since we moved in, since it's 800 square feet and has just the one tiny bathroom) and learned it would cost AT LEAST 150% MORE than we paid for this house in the first place!!! Like we could buy a whole-ass house in a cheaper area for the cost of adding on to this one! HAHAHAHA NO!! 😭😬

After a couple days of crushing disappointment I decided this meant we could pursue smaller improvements to make the house we have into a house we love, and first on the list was Big Bathtub!

Being generally handy people (ask about the shed my wife built sometime) we looked at buying a nice tub at a showroom and having a plumber install it, but plumbers don't install shower surrounds. Okay, so we figured we could probably install a shower surround? And my dad (a retired general contractor) could help? But this isn't a kitchen counter, this is a bathroom, and in this house we don't fuck with stuff that need waterproofing. We decided we wanted someone who could handle the whole thing, so I requested quotes from remodel contractors but they all told me my project was too small!

Enter Bath Planet. They're a one-stop shop that does custom full bath surround installs with a ton of options. The sales guy who did the estimate had color and material samples with him and dug through all the options to get me the deepest bathtub possible. This sucker's 22" tall! The cost included wrapping the entire window so the sill would be waterproof! If there was damage to the subfloor, they'd repair it before installing the tub at no additional cost! The warranty is really good!

(Oh man I've become such an adult.)

Not gonna lie, the quoted price was 😬😬😬 when he was done, but we couldn't argue with the quality or convenience and we were looking at a cost of close to $7k if we bought a big tub, had a plumber installed it, and then DIYed the surround (with no guarantees about how long that would make our only bathroom unusable!) so we bit the bullet and put down a deposit.

In related news, my wife and I are giving each other very few presents this Christmas, since the tub was our main gift 😂 Our savings are... Very depleted right now, so we're gonna have to hunker down for a few months to rebuild before we can think about any other house projects or expensive fun stuff, but what we lack in money, we make up for in bathtub!

As far as the timeline went, we got the initial quote on 9/20, put down our deposit that day, and then the install happened over 12/6 and 12/7. The installer was great, the work happened exactly as it was supposed to, and now we have BIG BATHTUB.

This was a wall of text, I know! If anyone has questions I didn't answer here, though, I'm happy to answer them. It's so rough trying to find home reno information out on the wide internet, and contractor websites are worse than useless for the purpose.

Meanwhile, I will be in the Big Bathtub.

[lovelylotusf1]

Got tagged by two lovely people @borntogayz and @wisteria-wisteria!

star sign: Sagittarius! Born in December so I have to wait veeery long to celebrate stuff but then I can have two celebrations almost back to back with christmas coming up.

favorite holiday: German/Austrian carnival/Fasching! It's the time before the last 40 days before Easter holidays. There are several comedy shows to watch both live and on TV, everyone dresses up and it's generally a time to joke around!

last meal: made by my awesome grandma: spinach with potatoes, fried eggs and sausages.

current favorite musician: I like to listen to comedy music a lot and it's pretty much the only thing I listen to (that's not video game music). So I'd have to go with Tom Cardy.

last song listened to: "Wigglytuffs Guild" from the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon - Explorers of Sky soundtrack! It's my alarm :D

last movie watched: Frozen 2 lol. It played on TV before Christmas.

last tv show watched: Honestly don't know, I haven't really watched any shows recently. Either Good Omens season 2 when it came out or The Dragon Prince.

last book/fic finished:

Book: Scum Villain's Self Saving System Volume 4. I was deep into the danmei trenches before f1.

Fic: don't take too much (off of me) by the amazing @wisteria-wisteria! Highly recommend, it's short, funny and a perfect mix of angsty pining and fluff.

last book/fic abandoned:

Book: Probably a Warrior Cats book. Two years ago I had a sudden spike in interest in reliving this part of my childhood, bought a lot of the books I had missing and stopped reading in the middle of... season 3 I think?

Fic: "Entirely out of spite" by bgtea. I loved it but I fell out of the Genshin Impact fandom a while ago.

currently reading: Too many things open in my tabs to say exactly.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: Lots of things for my planned Lestappen AU. You can probably guess what it is based on the google history:

Dutch sweets

Ontbijtkoek recipe

Daily schedule of a baker

When do shops open in monaco

Rent prices in Monaco

favorite online fandom memory: I've only been active in fandom since I started writing for f1! The amazing people I met through F1blr and got to chat with will be my most treasured fandom memory for sure!!

favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: I'm content with being where I am right now.

favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: The Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series have a pretty active fandom but not a very big one (I think). It's my favourite game series of all time so I think it deserves a big fandom.

tempting project you don't have time for: Sooo many AU ideas. I have sunk my teeth into two, one interesting one and a rather niche one, which I will both finish someday, but the poor rest will probably end up abandoned :(

don't really know who has already done this, so feel free to ignore the tag!

I'm tagging @laura1633 @ravenrage27 and @charlclerc ! <3

[swearingcactus]

OC playlist meme

i was tagged by @civilization-illstayrighthere for an OC playlist meme, thank you so much! gonna follow the cool kids and post a wip/fic excerpt along the songs :^)

What do I gotta do? I'm standing on the edge with you, thinking, "Don't look down"

despite the johnny chapter in the pick me up fic being titled after Miracle Aligner, and a line there that's clearly referencing Alien Blues, this song's the one that i think describes the don't fear the reaper ending because of v's dilemma (what do i gotta do) and how johnny and v are right at 'the edge' together.

Who are we, brothers, here mourning? Where, o where is quiet Johnny? Quiet Johnny can't be saved Where, o where is quiet Johnny? Quiet Johnny, quiet grave

Ignoring that Johnny is NOT quiet, this was a vibe and a half for this wip of a horror take on night city that v listens as kerry narrates. i always like the way that cyberpunk despite their facade as cyber and punk, has a very folklore-ish story. there's a lot of scenes like when you meet alt in the net that feels mythical, you're trying to beat a 'curse', you're selling your soul to devils, you're reaping what you sow, there's whole side missions with summoning AIs from the dark web and pentagrams on the floor. also johnny's grave being in bumfuck nowhere prolly fucked him up and as consequence fucked v up too.

I'm just an animal looking for a home Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead

this song is my take on how v just goes through life. there's something about him being a really desperate animal trying to survive but also being ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about his whole situation that he decided to go the 'fuck it we ball' route for his last few months that's really funny. probably why i like putting him in increasingly ridiculous situations.

last one for a bonus!

You need a six-foot-two bespectacled motherfucker who won't suffer no fool He's a big bad dog from the BBC And he won't break eye contact with a nazi!

this is seriously how i view johnny and v slowly getting closer and then deciding to have each others back because they realize the world's absolutely fucked and way worse than them combined. the whole "you're in charge, you can do it!" thing is just johnny hyping v up during the dont fear the reaper ending and you can't change my mind. it is my great wish that one day i'll manage to make the animatic so other people can see what i'm seeing in my head.

tagging: @glitchinginthegarden @another-corpo-rat @killyourrdarlingss @toshkakoshka @kbysh-kds @bitchofedensgate @cranky-kyrati and anyone else who'd like to join! (no pressure if you wanna skip!)

[humblemediagenius]

The only thing saving me from mediocre pop is that Tom cardy and twrp released a new video so at least i can listen to that while i wait

[edalynn]

Okay, looking at the emojis you got in that one post, I have a funny thought-

I think this emoji set is literally just "Red Flags" by Tom Cardy ft. Montaigne.

The hearts and alcohol are for the couple being on a date; the death and praying hands are the guy thinking he'll get murdered and literally singing the line "please god save me"; and the cinema is for the girl's favorite film, which most of the song is about.

So prepare for your partner/date to sing to you about how the best movie of all is a masterpiece of art called Human Centipede- hskdhdjdb.

I'D NEVER HEARD THAT SONG BEFORE NOW AND AJKHFKAJSHFAS YEAH LMAO, IT REALLY DOES READ LIKE THAT HUH?

[basicshift]

BIGOTS DNI

But for everyone else, my name is Basic, and welcome to my blog!

A few things to be mindful of:

• I frequently reblog NSFW content so please be aware of that. I understand that you can't prevent minors from engaging with the content they want, but I kindly request that minors DNI with my NSFW content.

• I'm an absolute fag of a transfem and hatred of any kind will not be tolerated. Even if I do not engage in certain communities, I am fully supportive of anyone so long as they do not invalidate or marginalize someone else (anyone can feel free to ask for clarification on this, I just have a tendency to over explain and fear that this would turn into a long, long list of everything that I think is valid if I didn't simplify)

• Feel free to send asks or ask to talk on discord! I'm usually free and chatting with other people makes me really happy

And finally, here is some stuff about me:

• Some of my favorite games are: Terraria, Minecraft, Lobotomy Corporation, Anything Monster Hunter (save for Frontiers or some of the earlier games that I haven't played yet), Lethal Company, Rain World, Pokemon (gen 5 and 7 especially), The Upturned, DnD, and Magic the Gathering

• My favorite color is pastel pink! Though I'm generally just a sucker for anything pastel

• Some of my favorite music artists are: Gorillaz, Sylvan Esso, Will Wood, Mili, Tom Cardy, MARINA, and Against Me! (though more oft than not I just listen to video game soundtracks lol)

• I'm American (derogatory) but hope to someday move out of this country--doesn't help that I'm stuck in the purgatory called the Midwest

• Far and above my favorite animals are foxes--just look at the fluff!

• My favorite bug has got to be moths--again, just look at the fluff!

• If you couldn't tell, I like anything fluffy: creatures, objects, critters, people--you name something fluffy? I love it

• An incredible amount of violence or an incredible amount of intimacy might fix me, but I'm not sure if it's just one of them or both

[sparklehoard]

I have been summoned it is ask time (answer as many or as few of these as you like!)

if you could have a pocket-sized version of any creature, alive or extinct, real or fictional or mythical, what would you choose?

did you have any imaginary friends as a kid?

what’s your favorite cold-weather meal? What’s your favorite warm-weather meal? What’s your favorite grey/rainy-day meal?

if you could receive a flower crown right now what flowers would you want it to be made from?

what would you change about your room if you had unlimited budget and manpower

what song are you obsessed with now and why?

do you know how to slow dance/ballroom dance?

what’s your opinion on cream cheese?

Had this saved for a rainy day I guess. God do I need right now. My only free time for the next 2 weeks is like the hours I wait to let the dogs outside at the housesitting job I'm at.

Watch out this'll be a long one. Pocket sized animal friend?I feel like I'd want a seal? Take it out for instant serotonin. Let it swim in the sink. Leet it swim with me in lakes. Although I'm not sure how to take care of a seal. I hope it's magically sturdy.

No imaginary friends but as a kid I played "imaginary boyfriend" a lot with friends and my sisters.

Fav cold weather meal? Stew!

Fav warm weather meal? Stuff with green onions! Like potato salad and chicken on rice with green onion and cucumbers!

Fav grey/rainy day meal? My local cafés curry chicken,sweet potato and carrots soup! Order it with their special Vietnamese coffee and sit by the window and watch the storm rage on while you eat 💛

What kind of flower crown would I want right now? Gotta go with classic dandelions. I like how they smell. But if I were feeling a bit fancier I would've chosen lilacs. Maybe little sunflowers too?

What would I change about my room unlimited?

No more white walls that's for sure. A mattress long enough for my freaking body would be nice. A whole bunch of shelves around my art/computer desk for easy access to everything. And a way to maximize my closet so I could SEE all my clothing options at once. And like...functionally I'd like to get my whole room better insulated. It's so cold all the time. Even in the summer.

A song I'm obsessed with right now. Uhm it's actually Hey I Don't Work Here by Tom Cardy. It's like a jokey song but it's got a catchy beat and a bit about lifeguards I can feel in my soul.

Do I know how to slowdance/ ballroom dance? No not at all. Only the country two step really. It can be disguised as a slow dance.

Opinion on cream cheese? Aside from cheesecake I don't like it in anything sweet. But it is a GOD to all other bagel toppings.

[bloodyellenlost]

Slowly working on my tmnt designs despite the art block slowing everything

Please God save me