#series and their amazon page selling the books

[katya-goncharov]

oh noooo i just realised i made a really big mistake on the job application i sent off this morning!!

[elodieunderglass]

Honestly thought I'd never hear the word "usborne" again. My mom used to live and breathe that company, and while I certainly don't regret a fair chunk, I do find it amusing as I look back now. I legitimately thought it had fallen off faster than Juice+.

In reference to a post where i mention my kid has the usborne “see inside germs” book.

So if people don’t know, usborne is a weird publishing company that has done indispensable books for British children for generations; they’re in every library, school and nursery, and have shelves devoted to them in every bookstore. They are how many people learned to read, and are the originators of many hyper focuses. They’re famed for doing educational lift the flap books for all ages, like “see inside your body”, as well as as the ubiquitous touch-and-feel series, “that’s not my….” In which a mouse comments improbably on various creatures not being their creature. “That’s not my dragon,” the mouse says, inviting you to stroke a dragon with a patch of fur on it, “its tummy is too soft. That’s not my dragon,” on the next page, where the dragon’s ears are lined with textured paper, “its ears are too bumpy.” This seems like such an inefficient way to find one’s missing dragon, a fact that simmers underneath you through endless repetition. Why does the mouse own so many things (pirates, ducks, polar bears) and why is it interrogating other people’s pirates etc by feeling their legs.

At any rate, turn a parents’ house upside down and these books fall out.

Which is why it’s completely hilarious that they are also an MLM.

Well. Kind of. In the old school sense. It’s less about signing up a pyramid scheme and more about getting a random citizen to buy a crate of perfectly popular books and try to sell them on from their home. It’s very traditional for Mums On Maternity Leave to do this. Pre-social media and online ordering, they’d hook up other mums at toddler group. Today, they post awkwardly on social media. The idea is that buying from another parent is cheaper than the bookstore, and they get to keep the markup. They get intense about things, and I believe they attend conferences. Nobody makes a huge amount of money and it’s unclear how undercutting local bookstores is helpful; it’s also basically the same RRP as Amazon I think.

And the books are perfectly respectable and sell perfectly well in bookstores.

So. Like. This marketing scheme is completely weird. Why?? Why does it still exist? People buy the books normally! You don’t need to promote them aggressively! You don’t need elaborate independent local middlemen schemes! You can just buy them! I have never understood this. I just file it under one of those weird mat leave hustles.

But don’t worry OP. They’re still going. They’ll never stop. The thing is that your mom got bored and online sales probably ate whatever residual profit margins were left and it’s probably very liberating for everyone to grow out of the “that’s not my cow” stage, but Usborne books are going strong.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

The Good Omens Card Game is coming out June 5! 🥳❤

Renegade Game Studios will release Good Omens: An Ineffable Game June 5th, charging players with stopping the apocalypse in seven different battle games, each of which you can learn as you play, all in one box! Each of the seven cooperative battle games sees players taking on a different challenge, and each can be played at varying difficulties! 

“We’re thrilled to be collaborating with Amazon Studios to bring fans a Good Omens game” said Scott Gaeta, President of Renegade Game Studios, “Being a huge fan myself, it was important that we capture the spirit of the show and I think that designer, Matt Hyra, came up with something fans will really enjoy.” 

In Good Omens: An Ineffable Game players will call upon characters, both much-loved and deeply-loathed, in order to defeat the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Fight Heaven, Vanquish Hell, and even prevent Armageddon. The battle games are easy to learn but pack a challenge for any group, and each is themed around the confrontations that take place at the conclusion of Good Omens Season 1. 

Fans can catch up on the first season of Good Omens now streaming on Prime Video ahead of the second season premiering July 28th. The series is co-created by Neil Gaiman and is based on the well-loved and internationally best-selling novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

“Good Omens: An Ineffable Game promises to bring the world of Good Omens to life in an exciting new way” said Jamie Kampel, Head of Licensing & Merchandising for Amazon Studios, “We are thrilled to be creating this game in collaboration with a well-known board game publisher like Renegade, who is passionate about the property and has adeptly captured the tone and details of the series in a way that will delight fans.” 

Renegade will be producing three versions of Good Omens: An Ineffable Game, each with their own unique box art and bonus items, but all feature the same great gameplay! The Amazon exclusive version will include 12 foil versions of the character cards in the game. (= First Version) The Barnes & Noble exclusive version includes a Heaven & Hell-themed black and silver embroidered Good Omens dice bag (= Second Version), while the Hobby Market exclusive includes an Agnes Nutter Book of Prophecies-themed dice bag, in a luxurious green with gold embroidery (= Third Version). 

Good Omens: An Ineffable Game will be available wherever games are sold and have a suggested retail price of $25. 

Amazon - $25.00 - the exclusive 12 foil character card versions (First Version)

renegadegamestudios.com or Hobby Market- €25.00 - seems like this is the Third Version with the Agnes Nutter bag, they have several internet stores that you can switch at the left corner of the page (for example for EU click on the last one):

The Barnes & Noble (Second Version) didn't publish the product at their pages yet :)

The Agnes Nutter Book of Prophecies-themed dice bag from the third editon:

[sluttyten]

a taste of you (darling)

summary: xiaojun works at your favorite bookstore, and you have a larger than life crush on him. when fate brings you together outside the store, that crush finally becomes more than just a dream pressed between the pages of unread books, turning instead into your great romance

length: 16,287 words

tags: bookstore au, slowburn(ish), dry humping, penetrative sex, thigh-fucking, spitting and cumplay, tears during sex, fluff, cheesy romance 

Honestly, it was kind of ridiculous how often you came to the bookstore. You didn’t even read that much, but it seemed as if at least once a week you were there, leaving with a new book, and that book would just join  the growing pile of books you had yet to read. 

And it was all because of him. 

He was handsome. Like seriously. One of the most handsome men you had seen in person. Clear skin, defined cheekbones, thick eyebrows over his bright eyes, and a smile that often went a little crooked when you were talking to him at the store while he helped you find a book. 

His name was Xiaojun. 

It took a little while to get that from him. For a long time you only knew him by the name on his nametag. DJ. 

He was always helpful, no matter where in the store he was located. If he was in the small cafe section, if he was stocking books, if he was working the register, he would smile and ask if there was anything he could help you find. That’s normally where you got into trouble, where you would ask him for a book recommendation or if he could help you find a section in the store or an author, and you would often end up going home with his recommendation or some random book in the section he led you to. But Xiaojun was always eager to help as soon as you spoke, taking off and you would quickly follow, falling into step beside him. 

It was one of those days, as you chatted while you walked to the section you were looking for, you mentioned a book that you wanted that was due to be released soon, but it was a new installment in a popular series, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to come in the day of release to buy it. You were worried they’d sell out of all their copies, and you refused to buy it from a big retailer like Amazon when you could be supporting an indie bookstore. 

Before you left that day, when you were at the register purchasing a book that you knew you wouldn’t get to any time soon, Xiaojun smiled as his hand brushed yours when he handed back your card. 

“About that upcoming release,” he says, “If I’m not here on whatever day you come in after that, you can tell whoever’s at the register that I held a copy back for you. Just tell them Xiaojun held one for you.”

In that moment, hearing him say his name, you felt a silly little flutter of warmth in your belly. “Xiaojun,” you repeat, “So not DJ?”

You swear he blushes a bit, ducking his head as he picks at a chip of paint on the countertop. “Ah, yeah. DJ’s just usually easier to pronounce for people. Xiao Dejun, but to my friends I go by Xiaojun.” 

You want to ask, “And am I a friend?” but you refrain. Instead you repeat his name again, and he nods at your pronunciation, a somewhat shy but also quite pleased smile pulls at his lips. You thank him, wish him a good day, and you leave the store feeling like you’re floating, running the syllables of his name over your tongue again. 

The point is that you find yourself wandering the aisles of that particular bookstore entirely too often. But, it’s worth it to see Xiaojun. Even if it means a stack of unread books at home and too many of the overly expensive coffees that they sell in the tiny cafe at the store. 

As summer begins to take the turn into autumn with days turning a little cooler and the leaves starting to fade from green to yellow, it’s even easier to find yourself drawn to the bookstore. There’s something about the autumn that makes you just want to read and snuggle up with a good book (but obviously not one of those that you already have at home), but more importantly, it always makes you long for a partner, someone else to snuggle up with when the nights grow cold, someone to wake you up in the mornings when the windows are edged with frost–a kiss to the tip of your nose, cool fingers dipping beneath blankets, and the promise of warm coffee and a hot shower if you’ll just come out of bed–so naturally, you gravitate toward Xiaojun’s presence.

This particular day isn’t feeling very autumnal. The day is actually still quite warm, bright and sunny, a mild breeze that flutters your dress around your thighs as you walk along the sidewalk toward the store. It’s nice enough outside that the bookstore has the doors open that lead from their little cafe nook out onto a patio. A few patrons sit out at the little tables, some chatting, some reading while drinking their iced Americanos. 

You glimpse Xiaojun through the open door as he focuses on making a drink for the couple standing at the bar. He’s wearing glasses today, and they’re slipping down his nose though he reflexively pushes them back up and continues on with what he was doing. His dark brown hair flops down in front of his eyes, not long enough to be able to tuck it back behind his ear, though it’s almost there.

You know you’re staring, so you pull your gaze away and continue on to the doors of the bookstore, stepping inside and heading deep into the shelves instead of right into the cafe. You actually are looking for a book today, one that a coworker had recommended to you. As usual, you spend a long time perusing the shelves, reading spines and judging covers, until finally you find the book you’re looking for tucked on the very bottom shelf at the end of an aisle.

The late summer sunlight shines through a nearby window, draping itself like a lazy cat over your lap as you sink down onto the floor, folding your legs in front of you and arranging your dress so you’re not flashing anything. You pull the book into your lap, flipping it open to read the first page. 

Xiaojun finds you like that some time later. Other customers and some employees had passed you by without a word, leaving you content to sit on the floor in the sunlight reading your book, and you’re lost in it, not paying any attention to anything or anyone until you notice the figure just standing in your peripheral vision.

“Oh–!” You jump a little as you catch sight of him.

“I’m sorry,” Xiaojun apologizes as he crouches down beside you. “I thought I saw you earlier, and I figured you must still be around somewhere. I was just coming to ask if you enjoyed that book I held back for you?” His question tips up at the end, a little sound of hope. 

How could you break the news to him gently that you actually hadn’t even cracked the spine on it yet? You’d picked it up a few days after the release, and the boy working the counter had gotten this very smug, amused look on his face when you’d mentioned Xiaojun’s name. He’d had a playful grin when he slid the book across the counter to you and told you to enjoy it. You’d taken it home and added it to the top of your pile of unread books. This one you knew for sure that you would read at some point, but you just hadn’t found the proper time to start it yet in the last couple of weeks. 

“Oh, um,” you hesitate, lowering your gaze down to the book in your lap as you skim your fingers along the corners of the pages. You avoid looking at him because you just can’t admit that you haven’t started it. “I haven’t finished it.”

Xiaojun sinks down, his back resting against the bookshelf with only an “oh” that you can’t help but hear an edge of disappointment in. 

He’s so close to you right now that if he moves just a tiny bit closer, the side of his thigh is going to bump up against your knee. He looks away, back down the aisle toward the rest of the bookstore. A section of hair falls in front of his glasses again, brushed away instantly only for it to flop back. 

“You should cut your hair,” you tell him softly.

Xiaojun’s head snaps back around to look at you, his eyebrows slightly raised, and he scoffs out a little sound, amused by you. “Why?”

“You keep messing with it, it gets in your eyes.” 

You truly don’t know him well enough to be giving him your opinion on his hair length. You probably don’t even classify as acquaintances. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that. Also, it’s not even that you don’t like his hair long because you really actually do like it this length, but it seems like it bothers him, whether he actually notices it bothering him or not. 

Quickly, you try to backpedal, explaining, “I like it this length. It suits you, Xiaojun. But I keep noticing it falling into your eyes, you constantly having to brush it back.” Now it’s your turn to look away, back down to the book in your lap. “It does look nice, though.”

Then he does it. Xiaojun shifts that little bit closer, his leg coming in contact with your knee. If he notices, he doesn’t show it. Neither of you pull away. Your breath may catch a little bit.

He takes a breath, the silence lingering as he opens his mouth as if to say something, and you lift your gaze. His eyes meet yours, something bright deep inside them, and he says, “You–”

“Dejun!” A man stands at the other end of the aisle, wrapped in a cardigan and a stern expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the cafe?” You notice his gaze flicking over you momentarily before returning to Xiaojun. 

“I’m going.” He groans under his breath as he pushes off the floor, rising to his feet. The other man lingers at the end of the aisle. Xiaojun lifts his hand to push his hair back from where it’s once again fallen in front of his face, and your lips twitch into a smile, bringing a small laugh from Xiaojun as well. “I’ll see you around.”

You do your best to at least pretend to turn your attention back to the book in your lap, but you struggle to not watch as Xiaojun lightly pushes at the man’s arm, the two of them whispering back and forth in a not quite unfriendly way as they walk back toward the cafe.

The summer sunshine coming through the window leaves your shoulders feeling warm, but not quite as warm as the lingering heat left at your knee from Xiaojun’s touch.

The following week, the late summer weather finally breaks. The weather becomes cool, overcast, threatening rain. 

It’s your day off, so really, you should stay home and clean or at least attempt to make a dent in that pile of books you own. Instead, you’re navigating around puddles on the sidewalk, holding an umbrella to keep off the light drizzle that’s been persisting all day. 

For once, you’re not planning to head to the bookstore. You needed to make a run to the store to restock on groceries, and as you’re on your way back to your apartment from the store, the drizzle finally turns into a steady shower. It’s difficult enough on a normal grocery run to carry all the bags back to your apartment, but today adding the rain and the umbrella and the abnormal amount of puddles along the way, it almost feels hazardous.

You’re in the midst of struggling with one of the bags as it slips down your arm, not paying attention to anything. A stream of rain runs down the back of your neck as the umbrella tips a little too far forward. You don’t even notice the figure stepping out of the doorway ahead of you, right into your path, not until it’s too late.

One moment you’re on your feet with your arms full of your groceries, and in the next moment, you’re rebounding off a man’s body, half of your grocery bags on the wet ground. One of them bursts on its side, sending its contents rolling over the pavement.

“I’m so sorry!” The man says, quickly dropping to the ground to round up your run-away groceries. You do the same, gathering up the bags that you’d dropped, picking up any items that may have fallen out, and as you straighten up again, hefting your groceries back into your arms, it’s then that you recognize him.

Xiaojun is crouched on the ground, reaching for an apple. His hair is pulled back from his face in a little ponytail, a half-up half-down look. He’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a shirt that you think must be cropped because when he stoops down to grab for the escaping groceries, the shirt rides up, revealing a good portion of his lower back. 

You look up at the building you’re standing in front of, recognizing it as a gym. Sweet bookstore boy Xiaojun goes to a gym? That makes your mind swirl for a moment, suddenly questioning the softboy vision of him you’ve always had, wondering if he’s hiding muscles beneath those sweaters and button-downs he wears at the bookstore. 

Xiaojun stuffs the escaped items back into the bag, and then he straightens up, and finally looks at you. His expression melts into a smile, the slight furrow between his eyebrows smoothing over in an instant. “Hi.”

“Hi, and I’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, “I should’ve been watching where I was going.”

Xiaojun shakes his head. “It’s fine. You’ve got your hands full.” He slips the bag he’s holding over his wrist and he gestures at the other bags, “Would you like some help with these? I can help you carry them back to your place?”

You open your mouth to tell him no, it’s okay but thank you. Xiaojun cuts you off before you can get the words out.

“Or at the least let me hold the umbrella for you.”

Do you really look like you’re struggling that much, you wonder. Because, if so, that’s embarrassing. 

But you did just drop half of your groceries in front of him, and even now, you can feel the bags sliding and your arm shaking with the struggle of holding up the umbrella. 

“That would be great. Thank you, Xiaojun.” You pass over the umbrella to him. His fingers slide unintentionally against yours, sending a light zip of heat through you from your fingertips to your core. He watches you with an amused expression as you rearrange the bags on your arms, and then you reach for the last one that he’s still holding. 

“Nope.” He pulls it back away from you. “I’ll carry this one. Your hands are full enough, I’m not trying to add any more to your burden.”

When you try to grab it again, Xiaojun laughs and twists away, bringing the bag even more out of your reach. He lifts the umbrella too, and the way his shirt lifts catches your attention again–revealing a strip of skin, the top of the red band of his boxers, a hint of a trail of hair. You give up the fight over the bag, standing up straight, readjusting your hold on your bags, and you clear your throat, “I live this way.”

Luckily, it’s not too much further to your apartment. A few blocks which pass a lot easier than the first part of your walk had, now that Xiaojun is at your side. He somehow convinces you to give up another bag to him, and he holds both of them in one hand while holding the umbrella over both of you with his other. He keeps up a steady stream of chatter, and for a moment it’s easy to forget that this isn’t normal, that you’re not even friends really with Xiaojun, that he’s barely more than a stranger.

It’s comfortable to walk beside him, to talk and laugh with him, to meet his eye and smile when you both spot a man across the street fumbling his way through trying to impress a woman.

When you reach your apartment building, you linger for a moment at the door. Is this where you part ways, where Xiaojun hands over your groceries and your umbrella now that you don’t need his help? 

He hesitates as well, folding the umbrella up while you both stand under the cover of the awning in front of the building. But he makes no move to hand either the bags or the umbrella over.

So you make the move, reaching for the door into the building, already making the apology, “I live up several floors, and our elevator never works. You don’t have to help me bring them up the rest of the way, if you don’t want to.” You give him his out, his opportunity to hand over your things and escape your company, to return to his regularly scheduled day. 

“I don’t mind a few stairs,” Xiaojun says, stepping inside behind you.

You feel a weight lift from your shoulders, and you didn’t realize just how much you’d been worrying about his answer. But then a new weight settles in your belly, a nervous weight as you begin to wonder–Is your apartment actually clean? Organized? Ready to be seen by the bookstore boy that you’ve been crushing on?

Xiaojun follows your lead up the stairwell, climbing the several flights of stairs until at last you reach your floor. 

You can’t help feeling a little self-conscious about your apartment when you come to stand in front of the door. 

Xiaojun looks away as you type in your door lock code, and when you enter your apartment, Xiaojun comes in a few steps. The door swings shut behind him, the lock beeping quietly, and you leave your shoes behind as you walk in. When you glance back over your shoulder, Xiaojun’s still standing in one spot, looking around at your place.

It’s a small apartment, but it’s decent. Decorated to your taste, with artwork that one of your friends has created hanging on the walls. The living room is to the left when you walk into the apartment. There are large windows looking out into the city although the curtains are drawn right now. A few feet further into your apartment, it opens up into the kitchen on the right. Further back, down a very short hallway is your bathroom, and to the left, your bedroom.  

You’re at least pleased to notice that it is actually clean right now. No messier than is normal. You do have laundry hanging to dry on a rack in the corner of the living room, but at least there are no underwear, no empty takeout containers littering the table, or bottles of alcohol leftover from when you had a few friends over a couple nights ago. 

Currently, the most embarrassing thing to be seen is the obscene stack of books towering against the wall beside your TV. 

Xiaojun’s gaze lands on that, unreadable. 

“You can come in,” you say, edging back towards your kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Oh, um, just a water, please.” Xiaojun slips his shoes off, leans the umbrella against the wall beside your door, and then he follows you toward your kitchen. “It smells really nice in here, by the way.”

He’s not the first to mention that. You’ve had visitors tell you that your apartment smells comforting and homey. Like warm vanilla and cinnamon, as though you’ve just baked something fresh. Today, that is true. You baked some cookies this morning, which is when you realized that you really needed to make that grocery run. 

They’re still cooling on the counter, and when you grab a clean glass to fill with water for Xiaojun, you pick up the tray of cookies as well. 

He stands awkwardly beside your small kitchen table. You sit down, stretching your leg out beneath the table to push out the chair across from you with your foot, at which point Xiaojun pulls it out the rest of the way and sinks into it. You slide the glass of water over to him and sit the cookies down. 

“You can have one, if you like. They’re what makes the place smell so good.” You pick one up, take a bite, savor the sweet and spice of it. 

Xiaojun takes one too, watching you as he tries just a taste of the cookie.

Baking is a small passion of yours, a hobby now for when you’re craving something sweet, or just when you see a recipe on social media and want it for your own. Your friends are familiar with you showing up to see them with a baked good or two. So you hope Xiaojun likes the cookies, they’re a recipe that you’ve tried several times, usually with great success.

He nods a little, then reaches for another.

So, yes, he does like them.

You smile, getting up from the chair to start putting your groceries away. The cold stuff in the fridge, piling everything else onto the counter or into the cabinets. All the while, the rain outside starts to come down a little harder. 

The meteorologists had been predicting that this rain was going to drop the temperature, that by tomorrow morning, dawn was going to come in just a few degrees above freezing, only growing just to a mildly decent temperature by midday. Time to break out the raingear and sweaters, the hot autumn-themed drinks. 

“These are really, really good,” Xiaojun tells you after he’s had a couple more. “Much better than the few things we sell at the store. Honestly, most of it’s baked by one of the part-timers; I think your stuff would sell much better.”

You feel a flush of heat rise to your face. “Do you think so?”

“Oh, definitely.” Xiaojun rests his hands on your table, his fingers looking like they want to reach for another cookie, but he holds back. “I’ve never asked, but what do you do? Like, I work at the bookstore, but what about you?”

You work as a secretary in a doctor’s office, you tell him. It’s not much, but it pays your bills. “There was a time when I dreamt of being a chef, but I just didn’t have the funds to go to culinary school. So I thought about opening a bakery, but again, not enough money and I’m not sure I have the mind to run a business. So then I settled, and now I bake in my free time when I’m inspired.”

You pick up the cookies, moving them back over to the countertop, and you look out the window over your kitchen sink. The rain hitting the glass makes the world outside look streaky, faded into blue and gray with the glowing specks of red tail lights on the streets below.

“I think, if you wanted, you could sell these cookies in our cafe,” Xiaojun offers. “Just as a little start like towards a bakery. My boss, his boyfriend has a huge sweet tooth, and I’m telling you, one taste of these cookies and he’d be begging you to sell them to him.”

You’re smiling when you turn back around. “I don’t know about all that, but thank you. Right now I think I’m happy to just bake for fun.” A comfortable quiet settles over the room.

When, a few moments later, rain sprays suddenly harder and louder against the kitchen window, the pair of you are jolted out of your quiet. 

“I should probably go,” Xiaojun says, pushing to his feet. “Get home before the streets get flooded.” 

You don’t know what comes over you, watching him turn to leave the room. But you take a few quick steps forward, reaching out, catching the corner of his sleeve as you say, “Wait!”

A little voice in the back of your mind reminds you that Xiaojun is little more than a stranger, sitting here in your apartment, that you shouldn’t ask him to stay, but you want him here. You want him to stay.

“While you’re here….” You trail off, your hand twisting nervously at his sleeve. Xiaojun turns back, his expression clear, something bright flickering in his eyes. You search your mind quickly for anything that you can say that will require him to stay a little longer. 

Xiaojun fully turns back around to face you, and you let your hand fall from his sleeve. The corner of his mouth twitches up like he’s resisting the urge to smile, and your belly erupts with nervous butterflies. Why can’t you think of anything, especially while he’s looking at you like this?

And then you remember.

A few days ago, after you added a recent unnecessary new book to your pile of unread books in your living room, you decided maybe you should buy a bookshelf for them. It was one thing when the stack was just a few books high, but now it’s at risk of toppling over if you don’t split it into two piles at least. So you’d gone out and bought a shelf, and currently the build-it-yourself bookshelf is still sitting in its flatpack box on your living room floor. 

You haven’t found the time or energy to build it yet. 

And maybe that was fate’s intervention, presenting you with the perfect opportunity right now.

Xiaojun’s still looking at you with a bright, hopeful expression when you ask, “Can you help me build this bookshelf? I know the instructions say it’s easy enough for one person to build it alone, but I just feel like some things are better with two people, you know?”

Xiaojun’s throat bobs as he swallows, and he ducks his head, nodding. “Yeah, I can help you with that.” 

Once again, you hear that trace of disappointment in his voice like you’d heard in the bookstore when you admitted that you hadn’t finished reading the book he’d held back for you. But when he lifts his head again, he doesn’t look upset or disappointed in any way. Just very distractingly handsome. 

Assembling the bookshelf is an easy enough process. Xiaojun helps you pull out all of the pieces. You read the instructions together. He holds up a board while you try to fit the pieces together. You tease him endlessly when he misreads a part of the directions that has you building the shelf somehow backwards? And he teases you right back when you misplace one of the small pieces even though its just inches from your right foot. Slowly but surely and with a lot of laughter, the two of you put together this new bookshelf.

It’s not heavy or bulky, just big enough to get the job done, but still, you’re extremely grateful for Xiaojun’s help, especially when it comes to moving it across the floor from where you built it. You’re not sure your downstairs neighbors would have much appreciated the sound of you trying to scoot it across the floor by yourself, but at least with Xiaojun, you each take a side, lifting it up a few inches and carrying it over to the wall.

“Now I owe you double,” you sigh, sitting down heavily on the edge of your sofa. “For helping me with the groceries and with the shelf.”

Xiaojun smiles, sitting down in the middle of your floor. “You don’t owe me anything. I’m glad to help.” He sinks slowly backwards until he’s reclining on his elbows, his legs stretched out before him, and you can’t seem to pull your gaze away from him looking so comfortable on your living room floor, like he belongs here. 

“I definitely owe you, like, dinner or something,” you tell him, finding your eyes drawn to the tiny glimpse of skin between the bottom of his shirt and the top of his shorts. You look away quickly, looking anywhere but back at him as you say, “The best I can offer is beer and pizza, if that works for you.”

“I told you, you don’t owe me anything,” he says lightly, “I was glad to help today. I mean, in case you haven’t noticed, I like spending time with you when you’re in the store. I leave my assigned position all the time, I possibly take the long way around to whatever section I’m showing you to. Have I been looking for an excuse to see you outside of my job? Yeah, I have. Did I maybe fall a little bit in love with you when I tried those cookies earlier? Maybe.” Now Xiaojun’s the one that can’t look at you. 

He’s fully sunken to lying on your floor, his head on the plush area rug, staring up at your ceiling. The gap between his shirt and shorts grows, revealing a defined abdomen, his navel, the trail of hair that disappears down beneath his waistband.

But that’s not what you should be focusing on right now, though your cavewoman brain can only seem to focus on his skin, on the hair, on the slight bulge evident in the front of his shorts. You pinch your thigh, turning your attention instead to the confession Xiaojun is giving you.

“So, you don’t owe me anything,” he’s telling the ceiling, “Just being in your company is honestly more than enough repayment for any favor.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him truly blush, but there it is. The burst of color on Xiaojun’s cheeks. 

You slide off the edge of the sofa and scoot over so you’re sitting right there beside him. He turns his head to the side, looking at you once again, his eyes locked in on your smile. “I have that whole stack of books over there, unread, because I buy every book you recommend, Xiaojun. Like, I’m in the store all the time to see you, the books are mostly just an excuse. Seeing you outside of your job would probably be really good for my wallet. But I am buying us pizza and beer tonight, if you want to stay here a little longer.”

Xiaojun’s smile grows wide. “I can do that.” 

You order pizza on your phone, and while you wait for it to be delivered, Xiaojun helps you begin to sort through your pile of books. 

He’s an expert at book organization, he tells you. By genre, author, title, even the Dewey decimal system, if you want to get really bibliotechnical. As you sort through the stack, Xiaojun teases you over some of them, how he recommended this one to you almost six months ago, how he’d suggested that one only because you’d insisted that you were looking for a light reading to get you through a weekend roadtrip with your friends. All of them still unread.

And then he reaches one particular book, the one that was the new installment in a popular series, the one he’d held back for you several weeks ago. 

“This one?” Xiaojun asks, “You told me that you hadn’t finished it yet. Have you started it?”

You reach over, tugging it out of his hands, stacking it onto the pile that you’ve deemed as your Most Likely To Be Read Soonest pile. “No. I just haven’t found the time for it, Xiaojun. I like reading, okay? I promise I do. Just sometimes I go a few weeks without even wanting to pick up a book.”

He laughs, reaching back over for it, which means him leaning halfway across your lap to pull it off the pile. He rests a casual hand right above your knee. “So when you told me you hadn’t finished it….” He laughs again, the sound light, almost with a taste of relief behind it. He doesn’t finish that thought, instead saying, “Ten told me the day that you picked it up. He’s the guy that was working the register that day,” Xiaojun quickly explains at your look of confusion. “He’d been teasing me about holding a book back for you, and it only got worse once you actually picked it up because he said you’re really pretty, and really out of my league.” 

You remember the man, the one who had looked so amused as he handed over the book. You’ve seen him around the store, but you didn’t know his name, though now you wonder if his name, Ten, is a nickname like Xiaojun’s was DJ. 

“If anything, you’re out of my league,” you tell Xiaojun. This time when you reach for the book, he passes it back over, and you sit it on the pile. “Very handsome, smart, I’m sure you have a lot of secret talents that I have yet to learn.”

Xiaojun snorts. “Something like that.” 

The pizza delivery arrives a few minutes later while you’re shelving the books. The rain still pours over the city as you and Xiaojun sit together on the floor, sharing the pizza, drinking the beer that you brought out from the kitchen. You forget about the books for a little while, instead the conversation turns to movies and dramas.

“You’ve never seen Twilight?” Xiaojun asks in utter disbelief. “How? It’s iconic.”

You shrug. You understand that Twilight was a mania that overtook the world for a few years, but you weren’t into it then, and by the time that you could’ve possibly had an interest, the fad was in the past. Over the years you’ve seen clips and memes online about it, but, you shrug again as you say, “I’ve just never seen it.”

The way Xiaojun blusters then, insisting that he’ll have to show it to you some time, going on to talk about the cultural impact of the movies and the books themselves, the whole vampire media explosion. You find it charming, the way he’s so invested in this, so determined to make you understand the totally vital importance of Twilight in the greater sense of the world.

Eventually you cut him off with a laugh as he dives into the influence of Twilight in the creation of the other very popular series of Fifty Shades. You laugh and reach over, stuffing the thick crust of his pizza into his mouth. 

“I’ll watch it! You’ve convinced me!” You lean back, watching as Xiaojun smiles goofily around the breadstick. “You’ll have to come over some night when you’re off. We can marathon the whole series.”

“Yeah, right,” Xiaojun chews, watching you like he doesn’t believe you for a moment.

You stretch your foot out until your toes kick up against his shin. “I’m serious, Xiaojun. Next weekend. Twilight movie marathon, drinks, takeout. An all night thing.”

His eyes have that same bright light as they’d had earlier when you asked him to stay. An eagerness, a hope, happiness as his lips form a grin and he says, “It’s a date, then.”

You’re not sure the last time you were so excited for a date. Because this is real excitement, not the jittery nervousness before a date, but the eagerness to see him. 

Your friends had teased you when you told them about the date.  Movie marathon at your place. 

“If you don’t get laid, I swear to God, I’m disowning you as my friend. It’s all right there for you!” Your best friend tells you. “You’ve been complaining about wanting to have sex with a good guy, and this one seems perfect for you.”

She’s seen him before in the bookstore when you’d brought her along. She’d agreed that Xiaojun was attractive, cute in the bookish way, and he was certainly your type. You should be grateful that your best friend is rooting so hard for you to have sex with the guy you’ve been crushing on, but it embarrasses you a little as you’re sitting out in public for lunch. Two old women a few feet away from you keep looking at you both, scandalized.

“Stop,” you whine, covering your face from view of the old ladies. “We’re watching Twilight. Literally what is sexy about Twilight?”

She rolls her eyes. “You’ll get there. And it’ll be the two of you alone in the privacy of your apartment, lights dimmed, comfortable.” 

You want to remind her that you actually spent a good part of the other day alone with him in your apartment and nothing of the sort happened. But that’s not for lack of wanting. Your mind still keeps going back to the sight of his abdomen, the bulge in the front of his shorts. In the days since then, you’ve even begun remembering things that you missed in the moment, your brain finally processing the subtle scent of Xiaojun’s sweat, the way that it had felt when his hand slid over your waist at one point when he needed to get around you to take a look at the bookshelf instructions.

“Don’t make me overthink this,” you tell her. “For right now, it’s just me and Xiaojun watching movies. As a date. I have no expectations.”

“Sure you don’t.” 

You maintain your lack of expectations. You dress comfortably (but still cutely), and you don’t even shave your legs or put on your sexy panties. It’s just a movie marathon. 

And in the end, that’s all that night is. 

You eat takeout, drink a little beer, sample a wine that his boss recommended, take a couple shots of soju. There’s also some ice cream involved at some point during the third movie. You and Xiaojun pass the quart container of mint chocolate chip (“You like mint chocolate too!” Xiaojun had cried happily when you pulled it out of the freezer. “Oh God, I think I might love you.” It was a joke, clearly, but a part of you lit up with bright hope at those words) back and forth, legs tangled together under a big, fuzzy blanket. 

You pass out somewhere towards the end of the fourth movie. The ice cream container sits nearly empty on the floor, melted to the point where you might as well just drink it. Xiaojun keeps trying to nudge you awake with gentle knocks of his foot against your hip. You manage to just barely hold on to consciousness until the very end, and as soon as the credits begin to roll, you shut your eyes, immediately well on your way to dropping off.

“We have just one movie left! You can’t give up on me now!” Xiaojun sits up, tugging on your arm lightly. “Wake up.”

You groan and try to turn over, to bury your face in the throw pillow beneath your cheek. It’s already after three o’clock in the morning. To finish Break Dawn Part 2 would put you after five o’clock, and although you don’t have any plans for the day, you also don’t want to sleep the whole day away after falling asleep that late in the morning.

“Xiaojun, we can just finish it in the morning,” you groan, tangling your fingers with his. However, despite your protests, you do sit up, throwing your legs over the edge of the sofa. You tug lightly on his hand, “Come to bed.”

“To bed?” His voice only allows the slightest hint of alarm. “I can stay on the sofa.”

But you’re already standing up on unsteady, half-asleep and lightly buzzed feet. One hard tug on his hand, and Xiaojun rises to his feet and follows. He stumbles through your apartment, unfamiliar in the dark. His body bumps against yours. He doesn’t protest again. 

Your bed isn’t huge, but it isn’t tiny either. It’s just the perfect size for you to collapse onto, squirming your way under the sheets, leaving just enough room for Xiaojun too. You’re already comfy beneath the blankets, savoring the coolness and the softness of them against your skin when Xiaojun sinks down beside you. Just sitting on the edge of the bed, not making any move to get beneath the covers with you.

“Xiaojun,” you sigh, reaching for his hand. “Lay down.”

It’s quiet for a long moment until he finally asks, “Are you sure?”

“We’re just sleeping,” you mumble. “Sure, I’m sure.”

Xiaojun exhales deeply, and you peer through your eyelashes at him as he rakes his fingers through his hair, obviously waging an internal war with himself. 

“Just sleep with me. It’s too late or too early for you to go home. You can sleep out there on the sofa if you really, really want to, but just know my bed is a thousand times more comfortable,” you tell him. “Plus, I really want you in here. I sleep better when I’m not alone. Be the Edward to my Bella, stay here beside me at least until I’m asleep.”

That draws a little laugh from Xiaojun. “Alright,” he sighs around a smile. “Just a small warning, I have been told that I often sleep with my eyes open.”

He reaches down, drawing his hoodie up over his head, letting it fall to the floor before he’s moving, sliding beneath the covers at last in just a cutout tanktop and his basketball shorts. He lays his head on the pillow beside yours, and you catch his eyes glinting in the dark, watching you as your heavy eyelids begin to sink shut again. 

“Good night, Xiaojun,” you murmur, and you’re already drifting off by the time that he whispers his reply.

You enjoy waking up slowly on any given Sunday morning. No alarms. No rush to be anywhere or do anything. Just dreaming until your brain can’t take any more sleep, until your stomach growls demanding food.

On this morning, you wake up slowly, savoring the feel of Xiaojun’s arms around you, his soft breath against the back of your neck, and your ass pressed firmly back against his front. 

You shift a little as you wake, subconsciously rolling your hips back a little. 

Xiaojun’s arm around your waist tightens, and he hums sleepily. And then you feel his head move, and feel the lightest brush of his lips against the side of your neck. Maybe, in response, you lean back into him even more, turning your head towards him. 

He’s not really awake, just reacting to you moving. 

You could slip out of his arms, leave him sleeping for a little longer. But instead you maneuver yourself around until you’re on your other side, facing Xiaojun now, and you snuggle in to press your face against his chest, slide an arm around him. Again, he reflexively moves to hold you—an arm over your waist and his hand smooths up the length of your spine until he rests his palm between your shoulders, and the other arm curls around behind your head, his fingers lightly knitting through your hair. 

You could probably fall back to sleep like this. Your nose filled with the subtle scent of Xiaojun, his warm chest and the quiet of his breathing, the beat of his heart beneath your cheek. 

It’s some long time later, or so it feels, when you’re pulled out of the light sleep you’ve fallen in. 

Xiaojun presses a kiss right to the top of your head. His hand on your back moves in a slow, comforting back-and-forth. His fingers leave your hair to lightly trace the shell of your ear, the line of your jaw, over the softness of your cheek. You squirm a little then as it tickles slightly, and you press your face more against his chest, feeling a small smile rise to your lips. 

“Are you awake?” Xiaojun asks, keeping his voice at a whisper. His fingers lift from your cheek, his hand on your back goes still. 

“Mhm,” you confirm, but you don’t lift your face from his chest. Beneath his shirt, you can feel the pick-up in his heartbeat. 

You don’t know what comes over you, but you impulsively press your lips in an unmistakable kiss right there against his clothed chest. He inhales sharply, and you do it again just to hear him make that sound again. Xiaojun’s hand on your back resumes that comforting motion, his other hand returns to your hair, and you sponge kisses higher up his chest until you feel the edge of his top beneath your lips, met with warm bare skin. 

Xiaojun’s breath sounds a little more ragged, a little desperate when you stop there. 

But that’s not the end. 

Boldly, you reach for the edge of Xiaojun’s shirt. He tenses for a second out of surprise, relaxing instantly. He doesn’t tell you not to, doesn’t make any sign of denial. So you slip your fingers beneath his top, and his belly flexes beneath this new touch, and a fresh, soft gasp falls from his lips. 

Every tiny part of you is tuned into Xiaojun’s breathing as he struggles to keep it steady while your fingertips trace along his waistband. The way Xiaojun shifts when you spread your fingers and feel the soft texture of hair beneath his navel, when you slide your hand up over his abdomen, feeling the evidence of defined muscles. 

You scrape your nails lightly over Xiaojun’s stomach. His hands both in your hair and on your back, curl and clutch at you as he lets out the smallest hint of a moan. 

Now you press another kiss, this time on bare skin, his throat warm beneath your lips. 

Xiaojun all but melts against you as you start kissing his neck. You feel like a scene from Twilight, the way he tilts his head to expose his throat a little more to you as you take your time to kiss his throat, sucking lightly when you reach a spot that makes him finally break and truly moan. 

“Fuck,” he stutters out, the word drawn out on a sigh. He rolls his hips forward, and you feel the weight in his shorts, that indefinite bulge you’d glimpsed last week in his shorts now clearly the shape of his dick against your leg. 

You smile against his throat, skim your fingertips back and forth along his abdomen at the edge of his shorts. You ask, “Should I stop?”

“N-no,” he gasps, rolling his hips against you once more, lingering a moment in the friction. 

You’re so glad that was his answer. You don’t want to stop, but you didn’t want to get too carried away, not if it wasn’t what he wanted. Everything about him right now from his hands on your body to your hands on his, his soft moans and gasps, the uncontained need for him to get some friction on his cock, all of it has you burning up from the inside out. You can feel your pussy growing wet, getting your panties damp. 

It’s Xiaojun that makes the next move. His hand slides down the length of your back, over your ass, hooking your leg and dragging your thigh up over his hip. 

You kiss his throat again, sucking on the spot until Xiaojun moans once more, rocking his hips forward, tipping you backwards until you land on your back with him above you, his hips slotted perfectly between your thighs so the next time he grinds forward, his bulge rubs right against your clit through your leggings. 

Your fingers twist in the waistband of Xiaojun’s shorts as he starts rocking against you. He holds himself above you, looking down at your face for the first time all morning, his gaze lowering as he sees the shirt you fell asleep in riding up on you, revealing your belly. 

This feels hot and rushed, the way that Xiaojun is dry humping you, both of you fully clothed as he thrusts forward against your pussy again and again. But you can’t deny that it’s working for you; your pussy is soaking your panties, your nipples are hard, poking up against your shirt. 

And when you tug at the edge of Xiaojun’s shorts, he understands what you want without a word needing to be spoken. He nods, reaching down with one hand to help you shove his shorts down, slipping them beneath his ass, revealing his cock. 

Your first instinct is to reach for it, to feel the weight of Xiaojun’s cock in your hand, but instead you bring your hand up to the edge of your shirt, pulling it up over your tits. 

Xiaojun thrusts forward against you again, his eyes burning at the new feeling of your leggings against his bare skin. “Fuck,” he moans, “you’re so pretty, darling.”

A shiver runs down your spine at the compliment, and another when Xiaojun lowers himself over you to drop a kiss between your tits. He lifts his head just enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath fanning over your nipples, and you arch your chest, a small whine escaping your lips. 

Xiaojun catches your eye for a moment, and then he lowers his head again, this time closing his lips around a nipple and grinding his cock in a slow circle against your pussy. 

Your hands fly to his hair, thighs squeezing on either side of his hips. “Xiaojun,” his name falls like a sigh. 

You’ve never been one for nipple play or tit worship or anything like that with any previous partners, but Xiaojun must just be doing it right. Fire burns along your spine, you can taste the pleasure of it all on your tongue. Your heart is racing, breath catching in your throat from the sweet feel of him grinding against your clit and his warm lips on your chest. 

But you love this. If you thought you were wet before, it’s nothing to right now when you can feel your wetness gush out to stick your panties to your pussy. 

“Xiao—“ you start, but then Xiaojun pulls his mouth away, nipping at the underside of your breast, sufficiently distracting you for a second. His hot lips and tongue move over the sensitive skin of your chest, your tits and sternum and ribs. 

“Jun,” you whine, twisting your fingers, tugging on his hair. “I need you.”

His teeth scrape your ribs beneath your breast, a sharp inhale, and a laugh. “You need me?”

You whimper, nodding. “I do.”

“What part of me, darling? Tell me.” His lips trail light kisses down your belly. 

Again, that shiver down your spine as he calls you darling. 

“Give me your cock, Xiaojun. I need you inside me. Just fuck me.” You tug on his hair again, rock your hips off the mattress to meet the thrust of his own. “Wanna feel you inside me when I cum.”

There’s no more teasing, no more argument from him. His eyes gleam with bright desire as he moves back from you just a little, just enough that you manage to flip yourself over onto your belly, and you lean over to the side of your bed, reaching for the small table beside the bed where you keep things for times like these. 

Just as you’re fishing a condom out of the drawer of the table, you feel Xiaojun’s fingers twist in your leggings, and he pulls them down, panties and all, to below your ass. 

Your shirt is still bunched up at the top of your chest, your leggings tight around your thighs. Xiaojun too is still wearing his top and his shorts are twisted around his knees, and it feels so good to know that both of you need this so desperately that you don’t even care to undress. 

You toss the condom at him over your shoulder, and Xiaojun is quick about putting it on. A hand kneads your ass, and you try your best to spread your legs apart, to lift your ass off the bed, to tempt him to hurry to fuck you, you just want to feel Xiaojun buried inside you. You want to feel him in your belly, to turn your legs to jelly so when tomorrow comes you’ll be grateful you spend your day working behind a desk in a chair. 

He slides his fingers down between your legs, and the electric zip you feel along your spine transforms into a needy whine, bucking your hips back, trying to get some contact with your clit as Xiaojun glides his fingers through your wetness. 

“So pretty.” Xiaojun murmurs. “You smell so good, darling. Do you taste sweet?”

You’ve never tasted yourself and you’ve never thought to ask any previous partners. Not that you think Xiaojun’s expecting you to give him an answer directly. 

You look back over your shoulder in time to see him lifting his hand from between your thighs, his gaze intent on the glistening wetness coating his fingertips, and you watch him bring his fingers to his lips and get a taste of you. 

You never thought it would be so hot to watch a man tasting you on his fingertips instead of the more traditional way of just eating your pussy. But Xiaojun’s eyes close, his fingers hanging on his lips. 

“Sweet,” he confirms after a moment, and his fingers fall down to your ass, his slick fingers slide over the round muscle. 

“Please,” you beg, “Xiaojun.”

You reach back behind you, your hand searching for the hard length of his cock.  He moans lowly when you find it, your hand closing around him, giving a few strokes before you lift your hips from the bed and guide him forward by his cock. 

Xiaojun’s hand grips at your hip, his other hand nudging yours away from his cock. “I’ve got it, darling. I’ll take it from here. You just lie there and enjoy, okay?”

Somehow the cocky confidence acts as more of a turn on than anything else. You love his certainty that he’s got it all under control, that he’s gonna fuck you well without you having to do anything. A promise through other words that he’s gonna treat you like a princess, give you everything you need. 

And when you feel his tip between your legs, dipping into your wetness and drawing down to your clit for an instant before coming back to your entrance and smoothly pressing into you, you know that there’s some truth in his words. You’ll lie here and enjoy everything that Xiaojun’s about to give you. 

Xiaojun feels perfect. Maybe it’s because you’re coming off a dry spell or maybe it’s just that his cock feels spectacular, but either way, the feel of him sinking into you, fills you flawlessly. 

He starts out with shallow thrusts, working his way in deeper with each move. You sink your face into the sheets unable to lift your head for the first few moments, too overwhelmed by the sensations. It’s all coordinated and smooth, angling just right to give you the most pleasure he can in the moment (and it’s working).

But soon, as you’re grasping at sheets, lifting yourself on your elbows because it changes the angle just enough that you can feel Xiaojun in your belly with each deep thrust, you can feel yourself unraveling. Xiaojun is pressed against your ass, thrusts unrelenting right to that spot inside you that makes you feel like your nerve-endings are on fire (in the best possible way), and he wraps an arm around you to your tits, his chest against your back, and when you feel him lower his head to your shoulder, he bites down lightly. 

Your orgasm is liquid fire in your veins, toes curling, pussy clenching tight and gushing a little around Xiaojun as he keeps thrusting into your tightening heat. You fuck yourself back onto his cock too now, the best you can when you feel like your bones are liquefying as he’s still fucking right against your G spot. 

Xiaojun bites down on your shoulder again as he cums. His hips snap forward, a hard smack of hip bones against your ass, and he stays there, flooding the condom as your pussy continues to quiver around him, milking him dry. 

He sinks over you, his mouth still fixed at your shoulder, though now he presses soothing kisses and his warm tongue against the marks left by his teeth. 

After a moment in which the two of you catch your breath, Xiaojun withdraws from you. You turn your head to watch him slide off the edge of your bed, dragging his shorts up, straightening his top, dropping the used condom in the wastebasket in the corner of your room. You roll over as well, dragging your shirt down over your tits, and you just push your leggings and panties the rest of the way down your legs; the shirt is big enough that it covers everything when you sit up too. 

“Breakfast?” You ask, running your fingers through your messy hair, doing your best to comb it with your fingers, but you just end up tying it back out of your face. “I’ve been craving pancakes and waffles, if you’re interested.” 

Xiaojun trails you into the kitchen, and he does his best to help out as you grab the ingredients out of your cabinets. He measures ingredients out and mixes them together, while you slice up some fresh fruit to top them with. You connect your phone to a speaker, playing music quietly, and it’s nice to work side by side with Xiaojun like this. Especially when he starts singing along to the songs.

“Can you do everything?” You ask, sidling up beside him to watch him slide a pancake from the pan to a plate beside the stovetop. “Smart, handsome, good at making pancakes, and you can sing?”

“Flattery, darling, will get you right back in that bedroom, if you keep it up.” Xiaojun pours another pool of pancake batter into the pan, smiling as he glances sideways at you. 

“Is that a promise or a threat?” You slide a little closer, wrapping your arm around his waist. “Also, we still have a movie to finish, or did you forget about that?”

Xiaojun turns around, his back to the stove so he’s facing you instead. “I didn’t forget, you’re just doing a really good job of distracting me.” He lifts a hand up, letting it brush along your shoulder where the neck of your shirt has slipped a bit, revealing a good portion of your collarbone and the top of your shoulder, including the sensitive spot where he’d bitten down on your shoulder. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” You laugh, touching your fingers lightly to the red mark on his throat. “This won’t cover up as well as my shoulder does. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His hand comes up to cover yours as he holds your gaze. Xiaojun clears his throat, then says, “You know, I still haven’t actually kissed you.”

All that, and not even a simple peck on the lips. 

“No, you haven’t.” Your gaze lowers to his lips, the ones you’re so familiar with pressed against many places on your body, but you haven’t yet felt them against your lips. “Will you?”

Xiaojun dips his head, lowering his mouth to yours. The kiss is slow and sweet, gentle in a way that the sex earlier had not been. He draws you in, your body resting against his as you kiss him back, your hands twisting in his shirt. And it’s slow, not rushed in the slightest, just a nice lengthy kiss that you forget to keep short.

The pancake burns, but you kiss Xiaojun for a little while longer.

After that day, you can’t seem to spend a day apart from Xiaojun. It’s young, new love. The honeymoon stage of seeing nothing but good in each other, wanting constantly to have his hands on you or yours on him, wanting to kiss him, to hear him laugh, to have him beside you wherever you are. 

You find yourself staring down at your phone while you’re at work, all giddy because Xiaojun messaged you. Your best friend teases you when you admit to her that you did get laid on your movie marathon date, and you don’t even have it in you to actually feel embarrassed.

Xiaojun tells you that his coworkers tease him when he comes into work with the undeniable hickey fully visible on his throat. For the rest of the week, weather permitting, he wears turtleneck sweaters into the bookstore.

You’re happy. 

You go out on lunch dates with Xiaojun. He drags you along to see a new movie he’s been dying to see. You bake with him at your apartment, laughing and singing along to music together, creating a mess when he accidentally flings batter onto you, though he cleans it off with his mouth, leading only to you helping each other clean off in the shower. You visit him at the bookstore (avoiding his coworker Ten who just smiles in an amused way every time he sees the two of you together), and he picks you up from work some afternoons as the autumn days grow shorter and night arrives near the time you’re clocking out.

It’s not too long before Xiaojun starts sleeping over most nights. Eating dinner together regularly. He has a drawer to put his clothes in, a few toiletries in the bathroom, and some of his favorite foods stocked in your kitchen. Nights when you both sit on the sofa together, your feet in his lap while he watches a drama and you read one of your many unread books.

It’s a night just like that when the show that Xiaojun had been watching ends, and he looks over at you.

“What are you reading?” 

You lift the book to show him the cover, and Xiaojun hums knowingly. “That’s a good one. I haven’t read it in a long time.”

It’s one that he once recommended to you, back in the early days of your crush on him. You still remember the gentle smile on his face as he’d lifted the book down from the shelf at the store and handed it over to you. That was months and months ago. It’s about time that you finally read it. 

Xiaojun moves suddenly, leaning onto his side over your legs until his head rests in your lap. His cheek rests on your bare thigh while his body blankets the length of your legs. “Can you read to me?”

Your hand drifts down to your boyfriend’s hair, and you brush your fingers gently through his long hair. “Really?”

“Mhm,” Xiaojun nods. “You have a nice voice. And I like this book, read it to me.”

So that’s what you do that night. You play with Xiaojun’s hair and read to him until your throat feels dry, until you finish an emotionally brutal chapter that leaves tears swimming in your eyes. 

Xiaojun looks up at you from your lap, blinking slowly. He lifts a hand, fingertips light on your cheek. 

You close the book, pushing it aside, and Xiaojun’s touch draws you in until you’re leaning down, contorting yourself slightly as he lifts his head, to meet you for a kiss. Xiaojun’s thumbs stroke soothing circles on your cheeks. 

It’s just a simple kiss. A simple kiss of comfort because there are tears in your eyes. A simple kiss on a simple night. 

But when Xiaojun pulls back slightly, the night takes a turn from simple to spectacular. 

“I love you,” he confesses, his lips sealing the words against yours in the next instant. 

And you love him too. You put the meaning into the kiss, and the moment you pull apart again, you repeat the words to him, pulling him up from your lap to kiss you properly. 

That night, you pull each other apart tenderly on the sofa. Hands and mouths exploring each other’s bodies, whispering love confessions into the crook of Xiaojun’s neck, while he  leaves his words against your rib cage, into the space between your thighs in the moment before Xiaojun dives in to taste you and bring you to a spine-cracking orgasm on his tongue. 

“I love you,” you tell him again when you curl up against his chest, his arms wrapped around you, the book long forgotten on the floor. 

The reading part of that night becomes quite a regular event. Xiaojun lays his head in your lap and you read to him—in bed, on the sofa, on a blanket during a picnic one sunny and unseasonably warm autumn day. Sometimes the situation reverses if you’re feeling too tired, and you press the book into Xiaojun’s hands, compliment his reading voice, and you lay on him for a change while he reads to you. 

Xiaojun has to work on the day of the first snow. It’s mid-November when the meteorologists predict snowfall, and it begins overnight. You wake in the morning to Xiaojun’s legs tangled with yours, and all of the blankets piled on top of you since your boyfriend pushed them off of himself in his sleep. His arm is stretched above your head on the pillow. You don’t want to move. You can already tell that it’s too cool outside your nest of blankets, but when you blink your eyes open you can see the snow piling on the ledge outside your window, a gray sky outside. You definitely don’t want to get out of bed. 

Xiaojun makes a soft sound when you turn around and curl against his chest. His arms surround you, his face tucking into your hair. 

“It’s snowing,” you whisper. 

You’re not even sure Xiaojun’s awake, and the longer the silence stretches, the more you think that he must still be asleep. But then he breathes in deeply, sighing out, “I have to go to work.”

It’s your day off, so you have no reason to leave bed today. You could stay buried in the warm blankets, reading and watching the snow fall. 

“Come to work with me.” Xiaojun kisses the top of your head. “I’ll give you free drinks.”

Now, that’s tempting. Sitting comfortably in the bookstore, sipping warm drinks from the cafe, tempting Xiaojun into sneaking away from his responsibilities for a few moments. 

“Or we could stay in bed,” you suggest, managing to roll Xiaojun onto his back beneath you. “You could call in sick or absent due to inclement weather. Tell your boss that you have to take care of your girlfriend, she’s got a cold.”

Xiaojun smirks, his hair feathered around his face, a shiny pink halo. “I’m pretty sure Kun would call me a liar. He knows all my tells.”

You sit on Xiaojun, moving your hips in slow circles over him, and you can feel him reacting. “As if he’s never called out sick for similar reasons. Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that he called the store to say he was running late, his car broke down or whatever, and he and Ten showed up twenty minutes later looking like—“

Xiaojun sits up suddenly, his hand cupping the back of your neck, and he cuts your words off with his lips. 

You’ll allow it. You don’t often like it when Xiaojun cuts you off, especially on the few occasions when you’re arguing with him about something, but this is the only way that you ever accept. 

You bring your hands to his hair. Ever since he dyed it pink recently, bright like cotton candy, you haven’t been able to keep your hands to yourself. It’s long and pretty, and it was a totally unexpected change, one that you didn’t think you were going to like on him when he told you what he was doing, but you love it. You love the bright, soft and typically feminine color on your boyfriend with his muscles and generally masculine energy. It’s a nice contrast. Plus it just looks pretty on him. 

Xiaojun moans softly when you tug on his hair. You grind yourself down on his growing bulge. He rests a hand on your tailbone, urging you to keep moving. 

“Fuck, I can’t be late,” he moans against your lips. 

You’re not sure if it’s an invitation to keep going, but to make it fast. Or if he’s telling you that this needs to stop but he doesn’t have the strength to do it alone. Either way, your mind was already made up. For a few more minutes you kiss him, touch him, moving in teasingly slow circles on his dick.  And then, abruptly, you pull away. 

“What?” Xiaojun whines as you slide away, stepping off the bed and walking away. “Where are you going?”

“You’re right.” You don’t even bother to turn back around to look at him. “You can’t be late. I’ll come to work with you.”

It’s a strong possibility that Xiaojun glares daggers at you as you dress, pulling on leggings and a sweater, a coat and scarf and boots. Eventually he gets up to get dressed too, layering up just as much as you. 

The snow keeps falling, thick and heavy and wet. The snow seems to be freezing when it meets the streets, turning to slush only to refreeze again and again, marking the streets dangerously slick. 

You and Xiaojun just barely make it alive to the bookstore, wind-battered, chilled to the bone. 

The store is empty of customers. Only Kun, Xiaojun’s boss, is there. 

“No one else is coming in today,” he says. “The weather’s too bad. The part-timers have all called in.”

Kun explains that he’s not expecting to be too busy at all for the day, so if Xiaojun could just man the cafe and the register, that would be terrific. Kun would stock the shelves and work the floor if anyone actually came in. 

So for the first part of the day, you set up in a corner of the cafe, looking through the window out onto their patio at the accumulating snow, the way it blows up against the glass and covers the tables and chairs sitting out there. Xiaojun works behind the counter, making you free drinks, bringing you pastries, occasionally kissing you and letting his hand slide up your thigh. 

“I want you,” he complains softly in the seat beside you. “I keep thinking about this morning. Maybe we shouldn’t have left bed.”

You know that. You’ve had a throbbing need for him pulsing between your legs for the better part of the last hour. Each glide of his fingers along the seam of your leggings at your inner thigh makes you itch to grab his hand and bring it right to your core. 

You could always sneak away, go take care of yourself in the restroom, send Xiaojun clips to tease him. Leave him desperately hard behind the counter in the cafe, serving the only customer that has braved the blizzard outside to drink coffee in the bookshop. 

Xiaojun watches you through his eyelashes as he helps the customer. You do your best to pretend like you’re ignoring him. He likes when you do that sometimes, when you’re reading by yourself in bed or on the sofa and he moves like he’s going to lay on your lap, but instead spreads your legs and starts touching you while you continue reading. Sometimes he does that when you’re reading aloud to him, turning his head where it rests on your thigh to kiss at it, eventually moving around to eat you out so he can hear you gasp and stumble over the sentences you read aloud, overwhelmed by the pleasure. 

But in the present moment, Xiaojun is across the room. He’s in the middle of steaming some oat milk for a latte, his gaze tracking you as you gather your things and then stand up and walk out of the cafe section of the store. You glance over your shoulder as you climb the stairs to the second floor of the store, and Xiaojun is just barely visible through the doorway.  His eyes are on you, and you smile, turn away and hurry up the rest of the stairs. 

You know he’ll follow as soon as he can. 

This is something else you’ve thought about: Xiaojun finding you among the shelves, touching and kissing you there where anyone might happen to see or hear, catching a glimpse between a gap in the shelves of his hand wandering under your clothes. 

The store is nearly empty. Only nearly empty because you know Kun still prowls the aisles somewhere, Xiaojun had mentioned that Ten was likely coming in at some point, and there are at least a couple customers roaming freely. But you don’t pay any mind to any of them as you weave your way through the many shelves to find a favorite little nook of yours. Fittingly it’s in the romance section of the store. The shelves here form a smallish rectangle against the wall, enclosing an armchair backed up against the window set into the wall, and it’s just a perfectly cozy little space. 

You don’t have to wait long before you hear the tell-tale sound of footsteps over the store’s carpeted flooring. And then in a hushed whisper, your name. 

You sink into the armchair, spread your legs, and wait for your boyfriend to turn the corner. 

Xiaojun freezes when he spots you. He steadies himself with a hand on the bookshelf, the other hand over his heart. “I only have a short break, darling, we can’t be long,” Xiaojun says quietly as he moves quickly into your space, sinking to his knees, his hands racing once more over your thighs. “And we have to be quiet.”

In the time since you started this relationship with Xiaojun, you’ve grown more than familiar with his touch. The way that his fingertips feel as they dip beneath your sweater to touch the bare skin of your belly, the light scrape of his trimmed nails over your hips as he leans in close and captures your lips in a kiss.

The kiss is hot. Not a brief brush of the lips, not a quick and dirty kiss on your way to something more. Just purely a make-out, or a snog, as Xiaojun had called it once in a bad take on a British accent, which had sent you into a fit of giggles until he’d tackled you onto the bed and silenced you with his lips. Despite Xiaojun’s insistence just moments ago that this had to be quick, neither one of you seems in a rush.

Perhaps that’s why you end up getting caught.

Xiaojun’s hands are fully underneath your sweater, his hands actually on your tits, your tongue down his throat. 

And that’s when you hear someone clear their throat.

Both Kun and Ten are standing there in the gap between the bookshelves. Kun looks on absolutely disapprovingly, and Ten watches from over Kun’s shoulder, his grin incredibly amused, eyes glinting mischievously. If you had to guess, you’d say that Ten caught you and Xiaojun first, but fetched Kun for the pure drama of it all. 

“Get back to work, Xiaojun.” Kun commands.

Xiaojun, chastised, ducks his head and slowly pulls his hands out from beneath your sweater. You feel bad for your boyfriend since he’s been suffering through wanting you since you woke up together. You at least have the liberty still to sneak off, and you’re so tempted to do that now more than ever, but you’ll stand in solidarity with him.

Xiaojun heads back down to the cafe, Kun and Ten leave as well, with Ten whispering gleefully and glancing back at you. You curl up in the armchair, pull your book out of your bag you’d deposited on the floor, and you spend the last few hours of Xiaojun’s shift right there, reading.

As the day draws on, business doesn’t pick up any, and you’re nearing the end of your book when Xiaojun finds you to tell you that Kun’s decided to close up a little early. To no one’s surprise, business is certainly not booming during the middle of a snowstorm, so after quickly moving through all of their closing procedures, you and Xiaojun step out the front door with Ten and Kun right behind you. 

By the time you get back to your apartment, you’re freezing. Even with your coat on, a scarf wound around your head, a hat tugged down to your eyelashes, and your hands buried deep into the warm pockets of your coat, you feel like a walking icicle. Xiaojun doesn’t look much better as he pulls his hat off and untangles himself from his scarf, revealing pink cheeks and chattering teeth.

You don’t bother taking off your warm outerwear. You just take Xiaojun by the hand and lead him straight to the bathroom. You reach in to turn on the shower, turning it as hot as it goes, and within moments the room is filling with steam. It doesn’t take long to reach for Xiaojun, to undo his coat and let it slide down his shoulders. He does the same to you, taking his time with unbuttoning your coat, tugging down the zipper. He pulls the hat from your head, grinning as he combs his fingers through your messy hair. As Xiaojun unwinds the scarf from around you, he dips in to peck your nose as it’s revealed, your lips when they come out, and when the scarf slithers from his hand to the floor, leaving your throat visible to him at last, Xiaojun kisses that too.

This time when Xiaojun’s hands dip and dive, exploring beneath your sweater, there’s no chance of being interrupted. This time when his nails tickle over your hips, he’s pushing your pants down, helping you shimmy them down your legs, and Xiaojun holds you steady as you step out of the pants, kicking them away. 

You lose your sweater, and then make quick work of Xiaojun’s as well. You stand there in front of him in panties, socks, and an undershirt as you tug at the fastening for his jeans, as you get too exasperated by your still-cold fingers not totally cooperating with you, and you just plunge your hand down the front of his pants instead.

Xiaojun moans at the touch of your cold fingers on his heated skin, pressing down his abdomen towards the base of his cock. You kiss him quiet, and he bucks into your touch. 

After waiting so long all day to finally be truly touching each other, neither of you moves particularly fast right now. 

Xiaojun’s hands go to your ass, tugging you against him, and you pant against his mouth when his fingers push aside your panties and he slides his long middle finger through your wetness. You both just take it slow, touching each other at your own pace, kissing, soaking in the steam of the room. 

“Should we actually get in the shower?” Xiaojun asks after a few minutes of this. He presses a kiss to the corner of your lips. “Why waste the water?”

Each of you lose those last few articles of clothing, and when you step into the shower, Xiaojun’s right behind you, his chest against your back as you feel the shower’s warm spray wash over you. His hands explore–your hips and thighs, a finger gliding briefly over your clit, he kisses your shoulders and neck, his fingers toy with your nipples. His name echoes off the bathroom walls as you moan for him when he fits his cock right up against your pussy, snug between your thighs pressed tight together. 

Xiaojun wraps his arms around you as he rocks his hips forward, fucking your thighs, teasing your clit, and he keeps up his attack on your shoulders and throat. You’re certain you’ll be left with marks for days to come, but in the moment you don’t give a damn. 

You really like the slick feeling of Xiaojun driving his cock between your thighs, the way that his tip glides against your clit, and when he draws his hips back just enough, the head of his cock drags and catches at your entrance, and if he would just shift a little in the right way he’d be inside you. It’s like it’s his turn to tease you now after what you’d done to him in bed this morning. 

“Oh, darling,” he moans against your throat, teeth scraping lightly. “I might cum just like this. Your thighs are so soft. Your pussy is leaking all over me too.”

Xiaojun keeps going, and you claw at his arms wrapped around you as the tease of his cock against you grows to be too much. You beg, “Please, Xiaojun, just want you inside me!”

He ignores your pleading, begging, whining to be filled. His breath comes in sharp bursts, gasps and quiet groans as he grows closer, and as you look down, tipping your head against the shower’s spray, you can see the pink tip of his cock appearing between your pussy lips, and to your utter delight (and slight disappointment, too), you watch as his pearly cum spits from the tip, squirting down the fronts of your thighs, smearing over your clit and your pussy lips. 

You moan too when Xiaojun bites down on your shoulder, the stinging pain of it is nearly enough to make you cum too. 

Xiaojun sinks to his knees, his voice rough when he tells you to turn around, and you obey, immediately knitting your fingers through his hair, spreading your legs for your boyfriend to dip his head forward. Xiaojun licks at the drips of cum clinging to your thighs, he sucks at your clit, using his tongue to clean the rest of his mess from your pussy, and once he’s deemed you clean, Xiaojun rises to his feet.

You start to whine, pressing one hand at his shoulder and the other tugging down on his hair, trying to force him back to his knees to continue eating you out.

But Xiaojun has other plans. He grips your chin with one hand, and you open your mouth, watching in dazed obedience as Xiaojun leans in, as he purses his lips, and he spits into your gaping mouth the cum he’s just gathered up. 

“Swallow for me, darling.” 

You do as commanded, holding out your tongue afterwards as proof. 

Xiaojun’s mouth crashes against yours, the kiss harsh, but his hands are tender as he holds you against him. Your pussy is still wet, still throbbing with the need for your own orgasm, and Xiaojun must understand that as he edges you back against the shower wall, his knee coming up between your legs, and he doesn’t have to say another word. Neither of you pause in the kiss as you start rubbing yourself on his thigh, clutching at him as you use his leg to get yourself off.

It’s rather rare that Xiaojun gets quite this dominant with you, but you love it dearly. You enjoy how he holds you right now like you’re so small, the way that he kisses you so hungrily like he might swallow you whole, and the way that he moans when you finally push yourself over the edge and he feels you squirting on his thigh. 

You slump against Xiaojun’s shoulder, all strength gone from your limbs. 

“Perfect,” Xiaojun murmurs, kissing you once more softly. “So good for me, darling.” 

Though the water has begun to run a bit cold by this point, neither of you really mind. Quickly, you rinse each other off, a quick shampoo and a scrub, and then you’re stepping out of the shower and straight into your bedroom. You drag Xiaojun down into the bed with you, over you, and he’s got his lips on your body before you can even ask for it. He traces the lingering water droplets on your skin with his tongue, following them anywhere they might go until he’s breathing warm against your pussy.

Xiaojun’s gentle with you now, eating you out slowly, caressing your thighs as he guides them over his shoulders. He brings you to a shuddering orgasm just like that, his name a chant on your lips, your toes curl against his back. Xiaojun lifts himself from between the warm haven of your thighs, pulling himself over you, and you tangle your arms behind his neck, squeeze your legs around his hips, and he sinks into you cockfirst.

Maybe you’re a little cock-drunk, blissed out from the two orgasms in such close proximity and well on your way to a third, but you can’t stop yourself from telling him you love him, over and over again, moaning it softly in between kissing Xiaojun. And he smiles down at you, his fingers stroking your cheek, murmuring it back to you with each of his deep rocking thrusts into you.

You cum for a third time like this, face-to-face with your boyfriend, overwhelmed by the pleasure and by the feeling of being so incredibly in love with him. It embarrasses you a little as you’re coming back down, your face feels hot, your eyes wet, your core throbs with the knowledge that it won’t take much to pull a fourth orgasm from you.

When you try to get Xiaojun to move, to change into another position than this one where he’s looking you full in the face while you’re feeling shy, he just shakes his head.

“I like to look at you, darling. You’re beautiful.”

“That’s cheesy,” you pout, lifting your hands to cover your face. Tears leak out of your eyes, matched with a moan as Xiaojun’s cock hits just right inside you. “Fuck, Jun. Gonna make me unable to walk tomorrow.”

He moans low in his throat. “That’s alright. It’s gonna keep snowing, and we won’t even be able to leave the apartment tomorrow. I’ll wait on you hand and foot if you can’t walk.”

That sounds really nice. Taking a snow day together, not leaving bed. And if all it takes to get Xiaojun to wait hand and foot on you is for him to fuck you senseless, well, that’s just something you’ll have to aim for. You moan from the sensitivity as Xiaojun swipes his thumb in tight circles over your clit, his even thrusts carrying you right into that highly prized fourth orgasm. This time you feel the tears pouring from your eyes, desperate sounds leaking from your lips with increasing volume (God, you hope your neighbors can’t hear).

When you move your hands away from your face so you can see him, Xiaojun’s gaze goes soft at the sight of your tears and the sounds of your overstimulated cries. He leans in, kissing your cheeks, getting a taste of your tears. “I can stop.”

You shake your head. “No, no. Keep going.”

“You sure?” He asks. “Can you cum one more time for me, darling? Can you cum with Daddy?”

Now that’s a new one. He’s never called himself that, never asked you to call him that either. But that’s not to say that you don’t like it, especially not right now when you’re crying for him to keep going, when your fingertips are tingling with the pleasure, your body barely containing the spillover into your next orgasm.

“Can you do that?” Xiaojun asks again, awaiting your answer.

You nod. “Yeah, please. I can cum once more, Jun.”

It feels incredibly intimate when Xiaojun locks his gaze on yours, holding himself above you, and he rocks forward in slow, deep thrusts. It’s a slow thing, the pressure building, the buzzing in your ears increasing, the tingling in your fingertips and toes spreading. You reach for Xiaojun’s shoulder, for his back, digging your fingers into whatever part of him you can, and you gasp his name, your head rolling back on the pillow as this orgasm crests inside you like a wave.

Time pauses right there at the crest of the wave, and for a moment you feel like you’re drowning in it. And then Xiaojun presses into you one more time, and his orgasm overwhelms him too, and the heat of his climax inside you pushes the wave of your orgasm on, bringing it crashing down at full force through you.

You think you must’ve blacked out a little bit because when you next come to, you’re tucked in beneath the blankets with Xiaojun beside you. He’s watching you, gently twisting a small section of your hair around his finger. You can see through the window over his shoulder; snow is still falling against the gray sky. Maybe there’s some truth to his prediction about tomorrow.

The day’s not over yet. It’s still mid-afternoon, and although you could easily drift off into a comfortable nap right there in the warm bed with Xiaojun, you know that you shouldn’t. 

“Can you read to me?” You ask Xiaojun, stifling a yawn. “I was almost finished reading my book earlier. It’s still in my bag.”

Xiaojun kisses your forehead before leaving bed, going to fetch the book out of your bag in the living room. When he returns he’s smiling, holding the book. “It’s about time you finish this one.”

It’s the one that he’d reserved for you what’s been months ago now. The copy reserved for you alone behind the desk at the bookstore, that Ten had handed over with an all-knowing grin. 

Xiaojun settles back into bed with you, leaning up against the headboard as you slide closer, lifting yourself up against the pillows, resting your head on his shoulder as he opens the book to the page where you’d left off at the store earlier. You close your eyes as he starts to read, and you get lost in the soothing cadence of your boyfriend’s voice, the story playing out across the backs of your eyelids, though you occasionally open your eyes to glance at Xiaojun’s face. 

You’ve always loved watching his face when you’re reading to him or, like now, when he’s reading to you. He lets the emotions flit freely across his face–his confusion, his surprise, his happiness, his sadness or anger or frustration. 

Truly, you’re on the verge of sleep by the time that Xiaojun reaches the final page. The story is wrapping up nicely, peacefully, but there are still questions left to be answered in the next installment of the series. You bat your heavy eyes, seeing the words swim across the page as Xiaojun’s voice reads them. And you try to follow along, down to the very last sentence.

“The end,” Xiaojun finishes, though those words aren’t printed on the page. “Now, you can finally say that you’ve finished this book that I just had to hold back for you months ago.”

You turn your face against his shoulder, ready to snuggle in, drag him into a nap with you, but as Xiaojun turns the page in the book, flipping through the author’s acknowledgements and the other extra pages in the back, you catch a glimpse of something that doesn’t seem to belong.

“What’s that?” You ask, sitting up slightly, suddenly alert. You reach for the book.

Xiaojun jerks it away, snapping the book shut. “What’s what? The book’s over.”

His answer is undoubtedly suspicious. You reach for the book again, and this time you succeed in snatching it away. You bring it into your lap, half tilting your body away from Xiaojun’s, though he presses up along your back to look over your shoulder as you flip through the pages, seeking the page towards the very end of the book.

At last, you find it.

Tucked behind the author’s acknowledgements, on a blank page that precedes a sneak preview of the next book in the series, there is a handwritten scrawl in slightly smudged blue ink. The same shade of blue ink that you’ve often seen staining the side of Xiaojun’s hand from dragging along pages he’s had to fill out at the bookstore with the blue pens they keep at the register. 

You glance over your shoulder at him, and suddenly he’s looking anywhere but at you or the book.

“Xiao Dejun?” You ask. He doesn’t turn back around, so you seek your answer on the page instead.

First, you see your name in Xiaojun’s handwriting, at the top of the page. And below it is a message:

I just want to let you know that having you come into the store is the highlight of my week. I know we don’t really know each other, not when we’ve only ever spoken here in the store, only ever about books or shows or movies or whatever drink I make for you in the cafe. But I want to get to know you better. I like you, and I hope you like me too. The guys here at the store are already giving me hell for this because Ten says my crush on you is so obvious that you must not like me back, and I’m just really hoping that maybe you’re oblivious to the way I feel. 

As much as I like talking with you, using showing you around the store as an excuse even though I know that by this point you must know this store as well as I do, I want to see you outside the store sometime on a date. I want to take you out to dinner, if you’ll let me.

If you don’t feel the same, we can pretend that I never wrote this. We don’t ever have to talk about this, and we can just go on with our friendly customer-employee interactions. I’ll still make you surprise drinks when you come into the cafe. This doesn’t have to change anything unless you want it to. 

Yours, 

Xiaojun

ps. If you don’t feel the same, and if you have to find a different bookstore or cafe to go to, the vanilla chai latte is the drink that’s your favorite. 

For several long moments, you sit there in bed beside Xiaojun, your eyes tracing the letters on the page, fingers brushing along the edge of the paper where he carefully wrote down this note months ago. The note that you’re only just now reading for the first time. No wonder he’d looked so disappointed when you told him that you hadn’t finished the book yet. And then weeks had gone by and you never mentioned the book to him again, not until that day you first had him over. Now that relief he’d shown when he realized you’d never even opened the book made so much more sense too. 

You hadn’t rejected his feelings, you were still oblivious to them. 

But now, you can’t help wondering how you were so blind? Your fingers run over the ink dried onto the page, his postscript message about the vanilla chai latte. 

There were days back then, back before this was a thing between you and Xiaojun, when you would come into the cafe part of the store and smile at Xiaojun behind the counter and ask him to make for you whatever drink he felt like making. Some were hits, several were misses, but there was one drink that you loved more than any other because of the smoothness and the layers of spice snd sweetness as you cradled it in your hands while perusing the shelves of the store. 

He never told you the names of the drinks, and you never asked because you liked the surprise, but you were always curious what your favorite one was called. 

“Xiao Dejun,” you whisper, lifting your gaze from the page to look at your boyfriend. 

He’s still not looking at you. A touch of color on his cheeks tells you that he’s possibly a bit embarrassed by this love note. 

“You know I love you, so why are you acting embarrassed?” You tease him, moving over to straddle him so you can see his face. “My Xiaojun, getting embarrassed long after the fact, after everything else we’ve done and said?”

He sighs. “But it’s cheesy. I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to ask you out like that. It’s not like it worked, anyway.”

“No, it’s romantic.” You smile, “And how were you supposed to know that I hoard books instead of reading them? Also, it worked out anyway. We’re here now, aren’t we?” 

You press the book against Xiaojun’s chest, and when he looks down at it with a little frown of confusion, you smile wider. “Can you read it to me? I want to hear you say it.”

He puts up only a half-hearted protest before he lifts the book from his chest, looking down at the words he wrote. You settle down on his lap, and Xiaojun rests the book against your belly. 

As Xiaojun begins to read the love note to you, his voice shakes slightly, the nerves from the past bleeding into the present. By the time he nears the end, his voice steadies, his tone soft as he speaks his feelings. 

“Yours,” he pauses here at the end, lifting his gaze up to meet yours, and then, “Forever, your Xiaojun.”

“My darling, Xiaojun.” You pluck the book away, tossing it aside into the bedsheets, and you cup Xiaojun’s handsome face in your hands, pulling his mouth to yours.

a/n: honestly, I lowkey feel like this fic was all over the place lol there were multiple different ways I wanted to take this that I ended up changing my mind about, like I briefly considered a vampire xiaojun storyline which would’ve consisted of him biting her and drinking from her after the twilight marathon, I was going to have a big dramatic breakup scene that of course ended up with them getting back together after she finished reading the book he reserved for her because of that little love note he left in it, but I couldn’t decide on a reason for them to break up, so this is what happened instead

As always, I hope you enjoyed! I love our multi-faceted Xiaojun who is nerdy and soft but also can be very stereotypically masculine and muscley. Please show your love and thoughts through reblogs, comments, messages, and likes 💗 thank you!

[1980sactionfigures]

Some of my current EBAY Auctions

Hi everybody! Hope you're staying warm as the holiday season arrives. As many of you know, I've been dealing with some incredibly difficult hardships over the last few months and one thing I've been doing to help alleviate it and help make rent and bills is selling my collection of toys and other things on Ebay. I currently have several dozen auctions listed, and here are a few highlights you might be interested in:

I'm letting go of the last part of my MONSTER IN MY POCKET collection, and that means a collected lot of the giant MONSTER MOUNTAIN with its original box, a complete 48-figure Series 1 collection AND the Nintendo NES video game, complete with its original box, manual and exclusive monster!

A sorta-still-sealed 1990 WWF outdoor activity pack, with frisbee, yo-yo, kites and more! I have a DISNEY edition of one of these up for auction now as well!

A large lot of childrens books based on the Masters of the Universe series! Golden Books, coloring books and more!

My huge Batman and DC merchandise collection. TONS of BATMAN 1989 items, many still sealed, as well as the later '90s films and other DC toys and items!

A collection of 16 Imaginext dinosaurs and dragons! I've tested all of them and most work! A great lot for the young dino fan in your house!

Over 40 Cartoon TV Show DVD sets, many of them out of print and going for top dollar these days. The starting price and even the Buy It Now are many hundred dollars less than the total of these on Amazon.

My DRAGONS KNIGHTS & DAGGERS collection, with several of the durable rubber beasts, tons of weapons and chariots - perfect for the He-Man collector in your life!

A great lot of sealed DC Comics' greatest superheroine action figures! Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl and more!

7 modern MEGO-style figures, sold together to help you kick-start that collection you've wanted to start!

My beloved collection of JACK KIRBY #1s from DC has to go. Sandman, Kamandi, OMAC and Demon #1s plus more!

Thanks for checking these out! And if you'd like to help me out but don't see anything among my auctions of interest, please consider donating to my GoFundMe. Thank you again, have a wonderful holiday!!!

[fallloverfic]

It looks like Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon REMIX is getting another comic, at least in France. It's listed as Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix: Mega City Blues by Grelin and Faouz.b. Here's the summary:

"Elena "Mute" Hicks is a private investigator with no pending cases. A few years ago, she operated in the army of Eden where she was the partner of a certain Dolph Laserhawk. It was also at this time that she met her girlfriend, Linda. A beautiful story... But since their breakup, Elena has been drowning in the excesses of the nights of Mega City 4. And when she learns of Linda's death, which occurred in strange circumstances, Mute sinks a little deeper into her own abyss . The unexpected arrival of her former brother in arms, Dolph, since considered public enemy number 3, will push Elena to return to service. Together, they dive into the heart of an investigation across the four corners of the city... Discover the first comic book adaptation of Captain Laserhawk, Netflix's next animated event series! Produced by Ubisoft, written by Adi Shankar (Castlevania) and directed by Bobbypills (Les Kassos, Vermin, Crisis Jung), this dystopia with synthwave and retro gaming influences forms an explosive cocktail between anticipation story, action comedy and meta references to pop culture. Taking place a few months before the events narrated in the animated series, this comic book one-shot introduces new characters and is part of the DNA of the universe by multiplying references and mixing genres."

Art preview from Grelin's instagram. And another.

On iOS it's listed as releasing (digitally, in French) on 8 November 2023 and 13 December 2023. Amazon lists the Kindle release (in French) as 8 November 2023. A lot of French release sites are showing it'll release in November. I'm not seeing this being offered in another language, or physical (though Amazon lists it as being 88 pages, hardcover, with other book dimensions), and this wasn't showing up in searches before. Sounds neat (mostly I like that Dolph canonically has a friend), and hope we get it translated.

(As a reminder, the art book for the show is out, and the boy's love comic for Dolph and Alex comes out digitally on 14 November 2023, and physically 12 December 2023. Also Netflix is still selling Bullfrog plushies).

[hebrewbyinbal]

In my quest to create the perfect Hebrew learning tools, my perfectionism and deep care for my students' success play pivotal roles.

I'm driven by a genuine passion to provide an extraordinary learning experience, whether it's through a $1 resource or a premium $1000 package - or even for free. It's this commitment that ensures you're not just learning Hebrew, but experiencing it in the most motivating and efficient way possible.

Creating the Hebrew 1 and 2 workbooks, I knew they had to be right-to-left, allowing you to acquire the habit of reading and writing from right-to-left, as Hebrew is written and read.

This feature, while essential, is not easy to implement in a predominantly left-to-right manufacturing world outside of Israel. But, to be honest, going the extra mile (or a hundred!) is worth it if it means delivering the best to my students. This is one of many unique and essential features that set my best-selling Hebrew 1 - 2 - 3 series apart.

Hebrew 1 and 2 focus on completing your writing skills in both print and cursive scripts - because in Hebrew you need to know both. Then, Hebrew 3, a comprehensive textbook, rounds out your reading skills by teaching you the Nikud vowel system. Because so many of you asked for a hardcover version and its textbook nature, Hebrew 3 is formatted left-to-right. So you can get Hebrew 3 in a premium hardcover format.

You can order all my books on local Amazon marketplaces around the globe. (If you're shipping to Israel, Amazon UK is your best option)

Each comes with supportive videos to ensure smooth sailing. Plus, you’ll always have my personal support just a message away.

If you haven’t grabbed your copies yet and are eager to dive into reading and writing Hebrew with ease, check out the long list of benefits each book offers on their Amazon product pages.

They're designed with the utmost care and attention to detail - traits I cherish and believe any educator and individual serving people should embrace.

✍️ Comment the word WRITE and I will DM you the link to order my books.

[lumarisart]

I'm almost there! SGC 6 is taking longer than I wanted to get done, but it's mostly executive dysfunction kicking my ass lol. This is why I don't do preorders for this series - but also it's a thing for fun, I'm trying to keep it fun to work on.

A little TLDR, because the amazon descriptions suck & I never properly introduced my writing or this series lol (I should hire someone when I have the money, to write a better blurb lol) but SGC is, in a nutshell, about a group running a cafe in the day, and doing some ghoul hunting at night for extra cash. When they stumble on something seemingly big, they think they can leverage whatever info they find into a possible job - whether just selling the information or doing something in return for a big payout - either way, they stick their noses into something that ends up being bigger than they expected.

At one point they'll have to decide whether to continue a "normal" life, or if they should seize the chance to try and do something about it. That's the plot, but at its core it's a very obvious love story about two guys who were very good friends, but became something more.

I rate it 18+ for vulgar language, some explicit scenes (both s*x and gore and drug use) and there's a lot....lot of F-bombs.

Setting: Think of a high fantasy world. A few thousand years later, they merge magic and technology. An industrial revolution begins! Then, a couple more thousand years, and new magic is discovered, and space exploration is unlocked! Now we have mega-metropolis cities, space ports, council of dragon shifters splitting the city into districts, and intergalactic government that tries to keep them in line.

The characters never set foot offworld (not in this season anyway) but there's plenty of mention of it.

Serial: This is a serial, not a big book - each episode is 20-60 pages, sometimes less, sometimes more. But it's why it's $1 an episode to read (although I may restructure this if I can get my own website redone) via Amazon (for now.) Once the whole season is done (10 episodes) I'll lump them together in a big single volume and offer a special edition paperback and hardcover (which I hope to fully illustrate!)

Background:

I started SGC in 2020, though festered the idea of it in October of 2019. 2020 needed a change of pace from my usual high/steampunk fantasy stories and characters, and thus SGC was born. In 2021, after hiring my editor (who isn't on here sadly) we worked together to get the first 5 launched. It's been over a year since releasing SGC5, but I'm happy to finally get back into it.

If you read all that, thank you! If not, totally understand. Thank you for your time ^_^

[neoyi]

We've reached a point in our lives where nostalgic bait is at an all-time high. From the thousands of reboots; remakes; and sequels to beloved cult classics from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, it is shameful how many of these we have, all varying in terms of quality and almost always with the intent to pocket money off of us peons.

What can I say? We were desperate for anything because we hardly ever got anything back then.

Even the darling favorite of many a fandom back in the mid-2000s, Avatar: The Last Airbender, was hurting for merch back in the days. And Danny Phantom's was practically non-existent. It is astonishing this comic exists, but not at all surprising because now, Nickelodeon knows to cash in on the products that fans have carried a torch for decades later.

I'm sounding really cynical here, I know. And while Ol' Nicky is seeing dollar signs, it is worth noting A Glitch in Time was clearly made with the most utmost love and respect for the show. Gabriela Epstein gave so much of a damn crafting this near 200-page behemoth, covering almost 90% of the hanging plot points the show never got the time to answer and simultaneously wiping off the backwards series finale that left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth.

Like altogether, this comic explored Danny's story and what his purpose is post-"PP", Vlad's redemption arc, Pariah King's artifacts (and why Vlad was collecting them), and Dark Danny's return, all while working around a plausible narrative that retooled "PP" using time manipulation and newfound lore. And it's amazing how seamless it flows.

This comic isn't just incredible, it's a miracle.

And in spite of all that, the author still had the balls to leave some of the dangling plot threads and character arcs unfinished for a potential sequel hook, as if they knew this comic would sell enough to justify one.

Well, as of this writing, this motherfucker is still the #1 top seller in Amazon's all-age for graphic novels. Fool on me to rely purely on that hell site's sale counts to accurately know how well it did, but I imagine that's pretty damn good. If you had told me years ago anything DP-related beyond lame ass Box Lunch shirts would officially come out of the woodwork, I would have laughed. That the possibility of a second comic book seem plausible would be chuckly-worthy, but now... damn, I think it genuinely could happen.

And I hope it does, because A Glitch in Time still finishes with a couple of snags left to untangle.

The first major incident is the controversial matter of a one Miss Danielle Phantom. Now that Vlad has been given a second chance to raise a child, and do it right this time, what does that mean for Danny's clone? How will she feel knowing Vlad has changed? Or that he has a son? Would he have been a better father by the time she flies back to Amity Park? What has this kid been up to in the few years since "PP?" How would Danielle feel when she reunites with a Vlad that looks to be genuinely trying? Distrustful on his true intention? Angry that this man had the gull to change? Jealous that Dark Danny had Vlad's unconditional love when his fatherly affection is all Danielle ever wanted?

Dani is never mentioned at any point in the comic, with any hints that she still exists the Danny clones lingering in Vlad's secret base. I understand why she wouldn't be relevant for this comic. Dark Danny, for one, is such a huge entity that an entire spotlight dedicated to him and him alone would be worthy of a full graphic novel. But Dani's existence, her dilemma as a lone wanderer with only a distant relationship with Danny, and the unresolved tension between her and Vlad means her story is worthy of a full comic, too.

Now that Vlad is on the path of redemption with promises to be a better person and a father, his relationship with Danielle is going to invite a lot of questions, conflicts, and hurt feelings before it presumably and hopefully treads into happier paths. And Danny is likely gonna be stuck playing the awkward monkey-in-the-middle family member in all this. But damn, the setup is there.

The other Big Huge Plot left is Valerie.

In her last major role prior to this comic, Valerie was confronted with a moral dilemma: will she take the life of a human if said human is a half-ghost? Danny, in desperation, had to confess to Valerie that Dani is a half-ghost, meaning Valerie would have the blood of an actual mortal on her hands should she kill her.

And mind, this was the best Danny could do. We've seen that ghosts in DP are their own species with their own (dead) lives and free will. I'm not sure if Valerie has killed any ghosts or if she's just thermos'ed them back into the Ghost Zone, but her unscrupulous and, by the end of the show, downright brutal nature, seem to imply if she hadn't already murdered any ghosts, then she's more than willing to should the issue arise.

And so we have Val in A Glitch in Time, still doing her ghost hunting thing (her father hasn't been seen since season two, is he okay with her doing this or is she hunting ghosts regardless of any concerns he might have), a job I'm sure she's positively thriving in now that Amity Park is gung-ho for some ghostbustin'.

Indeed, though she's not as prominent as the main trio and Vlad, Valerie gets enough time in the spotlight to meet Dark Danny. In a particularly brilliant callback, she gets a couple of one-on-one battles with Dark Danny, with both the tone and even color scheme echoing so much of what her alternate, older counterpart has countered with Dark Danny from that timeline.

And I'm sure Dark Danny is just thrilled at the deja vu.

The damning part is how Valerie reacts when she realizes Dark Danny is, well, Danny.

Keep in mind, this is post-"Phantom Planet." This is post-Valerie has known Danny Phantom is Fenton. She says this after knowing the town's hero was a fellow student she once liked and dated, and whom she nearly gave up her ghost hunting career for.

Yeah.

This has implication.

Valerie's first reaction to meeting a future Dark Danny is to straight up tell him, "you're evil." Is that how she felt about Danny Fenton after "Phantom Planet?" Did she feel betrayed that the boy she fell for was secretly half-ghost? Did she feel manipulated into saving Dani? Given the exceptional story Gabriela Epstein has expertly crafted, this one piece of dialogue cannot, under any circumstances, be accidental.

Valerie saying this straight up to Danny fuckin' Fenton after everything that has transpired is one of the biggest bomb drops in A Glitch in Time.

The end of the comic implies she remembers the old timeline, meaning she's still aware of Fenton as Phantom. The tragedy of her character is that Valerie has always been strictly one-minded in her goal. Her downright hatred for ghosts and the absolute destruction of Amity Park before Clockwork fixed everything means in her eyes, she has justifiable cause to kill Danny Fenton. The current Danny Fenton. After all, if he is capable of turning into Dark Danny, then why shouldn't she get rid of him before it's too late?

Valerie is also intricately connected to Dani through "D-Stabilized", meaning there could be a way to tie all of these into another Big Damn Comic Book down the line. And while I had problems with how Valerie's dialogue was written in that episode (sounding deviously supervillainy as oppose to her feeling like her actions are justified), having her as the central villain in the next book sounds about right.

I've always been opposed to the idea of Valerie being an outright baddie (as oppose to a just being a dangerous obstacle), but the potential dynamic and high stakes tension for her to be the biggest obstacle to Danny, Dani, and Vlad (since she also knows what the latter is, too) in her pursuit to kill all ghosts and protect her home has nuances and character exploration that I think Gabriela Epstein is more than capable of dissecting.

Whatever the outcome may be, should another DP graphic novel come to light, I, for once in so many, many, many years, look forward to it.

[bsforbg]

The entire PDF collection of The Boys —1,000-ish pages— is once again on Humble for $18, which is an excellent price… each individual volume in the series sells for $10-18 on Amazon.

For the uninitiated:

The comics are far more violent, sexual, and violently sexual than the TV series.

Most of the characters have different —and usually more perverted— backstories. MM, for example… he is completely different, in a way even Amazon couldn’t tolerate.

Terror is a fixture in the comics. If you find the idea of a rapist bulldog amusing, well, you have found your books.

Seriously, the world of The Boys is super-rapey. Sometimes literally so.

Butcher is infinitely more interesting in the books… the TV version has had all of his edges sanded off.

The Female is… The Female. She’s more broken and child-like in the books, and her relationship with Frenchie is that of caring and indulgent siblings, without a trace of sex or romance between them.

The supes in the show are venal corporate stooges… basically super-influencers who do occasionally horrific things. In the comics, they’re egotistical monsters who don’t acknowledge boundaries on any level.

Comic book Hughie is actually Wee Hughie, and is directly modeled on Simon Pegg. He’s small and balding and Scottish and not even vaguely as good-looking as Jack Quaid, so he’s legitimately shocked when Starlight finds him interesting.

Speaking of Starlight… yeah, she has a rougher go of it on the page. And Queen Maeve is a hollowed-out, alcoholic wreck who keeps a boy-toy on a leash… none of that “brave, loving lesbian overcoming her abuser” stuff, just an endless dive into misery and shame.

The TV series frequently allows itself to be sentimental, while the books seldom do. I mean, one of the volumes is titled “The Bloody Doors Off”, and that sums up the vibe.

[justforbooks]

How TikTok Shop ads turned an obscure, inaccurate book into a bestseller

If you’ve spent enough time scrolling through TikTok, you might have seen a video from an account like @tybuggyreviews, a handle with half a million followers that exclusively posts videos selling products through the TikTok Shop.

The creator, whose verified Instagram account identifies him as Tarik Garrett, used the @tybuggyreviews account to pitch viewers on supplements, water flossers, earbuds, workout machines, bible study guides, probiotics for women to help “that smell down there,” watch bands, inspirational hoodies, inspirational T-shirts, face massagers, foot massagers, rhinestone necklaces, oil pulling kits, and colon cleanses.

In the TikTok Shop, creators earn a commission for each sale linked to their account. Garrett’s product videos got tens of thousands of views. A few even topped a million views. But nothing from his account took off quite like his sales pitch for an obscure 2019 publication called The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies.

“Now I see why they’re trying to remove TikTok. This book right here? This book of herbal remedies? They do not want us to see this book,” Garrett said at the beginning of one Shop video, referring to a new US law that requires TikTok’s Chinese parent company to either sell the app or face a ban. TikTok is challenging the law in court, arguing that lawmakers citing national security concerns as a reason to pass the bill did not adequately argue why those concerns should supersede the First Amendment. The law, to be clear, does not cite the Lost Book of Herbal Remedies’s availability on the TikTok Shop as a reason for banning the platform.

Garrett posted his pitch for the book on April 15. As of May 7, the video had more than 16 million views. Garrett opened the book and showed pages of its recommendations, urging users to take screenshots (and purchase a copy of their own) before it’s too late.

The camera lingered on a list of plants that, the book claimed, were treatments for cancer, drug addiction, heart attacks, and herpes. As of Wednesday, the listing for The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies that Garrett linked to has more than 60,000 sales on the TikTok Shop. To put that number in perspective, appearing on a bestseller list generally requires 5,000–10,000 sales in a week.

And that interest isn’t staying exclusively on TikTok. Google search interest in the book’s title spiked on the same day Garrett posted his video. The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies was, as of Wednesday, May 8, ranked 10 on Amazon’s bestseller list for books, and has appeared toward the top of Amazon’s bestseller rankings for the past three weeks.

A spokesperson for TikTok said that videos linking to Shop products must abide by both the community guidelines, which ban medical misinformation, and Shop policies, which do not allow misleading content. If a video violates only the Shop policies, they said, they’ll simply remove the link to the Shop but keep the content up. If it violates community guidelines, the video comes down.

The violations were enough for TikTok to remove his product review account. Garrett did not respond to a series of emailed questions.

How e-commerce took over TikTok

TikTok has long been good at guessing what its users might want to see, but less good at monetizing that trick. When the platform launched its Shop feature in the United States last fall, the For You page shifted, pushing video after video like those made by @tybuggyreviews in the hope that its users will start buying the products that go viral on TikTok directly from their store.

The result became a For You page with constant interruptions from random product pitches. The Shop ads, like much of the content pushed on TikTok, are personalized, though TikTok Shop recommendations are heavily influenced by reporting on stories like this one. Your results may differ. And yet, it is clear that TikTok has catapulted the Remedies book into relevance beyond a niche audience. The company earns money off of the explosion of sales on the shop, some of which come from creators who are explicitly promoting unproven cancer “cures” and conspiracy theories about the platform.

Like the Shadow Work Journal, a workbook that went super viral on TikTok Shop several months ago as a mental health tool — despite its dubious effectiveness — The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies is part of a swell of wellness creators, brands, and products that have found success reaching new audiences on TikTok Shop.

Shop videos have become a sort of “loophole” for health misinformation on TikTok, said Evan Thornburg, a bioethicist who posts on TikTok as @gaygtownbae and studies mis/disinformation and public health. Creators, and those with something to sell, know that Shop videos will get privileged on For You pages. Some creators may use those videos to promote dangerous health claims. In other cases, Thornburg noted, “the creator promoting the material isn’t necessarily spouting off disinformation, but the material that they’re convincing people to purchase is.”

A recipe for misinformation

The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies appears to be a case of both: The book contains misleading information, and creators are circulating misleading health claims in order to sell books. A video with nearly 1 million views promoting the book’s TikTok Shop listing is basically a series of ominous, AI-generated images with an AI voiceover. The video claims that the book contains secrets previously locked away in an ancient book located in the “Vatican library,” and that The Lost Book of Herbal Medicine was previously only available on the “dark web” before surfacing on TikTok. (Not true: The book is for sale on Amazon, the author’s website, and appears to be available through some academic and public library systems.) Another Shop video with more than 1 million views is captioned, “Cure for over 550 diseases, even cancer.”

I scanned through a copy of The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies this week. The 300-page book contains a disclaimer noting that it’s intended to “provide information about natural medicine, cures, and remedies that people have used in the past,” that it is not medical advice, and that some of the “remedies and cures found within do not comply with FDA guidelines.” It’s split into two parts: an alphabetical listing of ailments and conditions alongside the plants that the authors believe can cure or treat them, and an alphabetical list of plants, sorted by region, with instructions on how to prepare them.

The list of ailments the book includes proposed treatments for cancer, several STDs, mental health disorders, and digestive issues, among many other things. A few stand out: The book lists cures for smallpox, strep, and staph infections. There’s an emergency medicine section that includes plant remedies for serious medical conditions like internal bleeding and poisoning.

Flip to the entries for the plants and you’ll find lists of claims referring to research that is not cited. An entry promoting Ashwagandha’s “anti tumor effects” and ability to “kill ... cancerous cells” refers to “research,” but does not note that, while there is some indication that Ashwagandha can slow the growth of cancer cells, these studies were conducted on rodents and have yet to be replicated on humans.

Nicole Apelian, one of the book’s authors, while active on TikTok, it’s not her main social media presence. Her TikTok bio encourages her 17,000 followers there to check her out on Instagram, where she has 100,000 followers. Apelain also runs Nicole’s Apothecary, an herbal shop mentioned in the book that sells some of the tinctures she recommends, sells memberships to an online “Academy” for fans of her book, and advertises her paid appearances and workshops.

The endless whack-a-mole

As a journalist, there’s a pattern that becomes evident when writing about health misinformation on social media: something gets views, you assess the real or potential harm and try to understand its context, you contact the company to ask about the harmful thing. Maybe the video or post or group is taken down, maybe it’s not. The company gives you a statement, refers you to their policies on misinformation, and then you publish the article. This happens over and over because writing about misleading health information is a game of whack-a-mole that feels harder and harder to win.

Thornburg, the bioethicist, noted a couple reasons why we can’t climb out of this purgatory. First, meaningful moderation of a platform like TikTok is somewhat implausible. Social media companies are “never going to prioritize the amount of labor that would need to consistently be put into misinformation management,” they said.

Most sites rely on a combination of human moderators and AI, and it’s difficult to create automated moderation tools that don’t also censor allowed content. For example: health misinformation targeting minority communities often taps into legitimate distrust of medical professionals and institutions that have roots in recent history. An AI tool designed to moderate keywords associated with this sort of targeted misinformation might also sweep up criticism of health care systems in general.

And second, the creators who profit off health misinformation are really good at figuring out what they can say where, and what Thornburg calls “life boating” their audiences from one platform to another as needed. “You will have people who will drive interest in something through TikTok because the virality and the algorithm are aggressive,” Thornburg said. Then, their profile will link out to their Instagram or Linktree or YouTube channel.

Health misinformation on social media is a million cross-pollinating moving targets. TikTok Shop is a hot spot right now. Later, it might be something else on another platform. Chasing this content from platform to platform, harm to harm, viral video to viral video, is exhausting.

At the end, Thornburg shared the question that drives a lot of their work in this space, “Who do we consider accountable for these things that are harmful and regulate them or hold them to certain standards?” Often, it’s not really the person behind the individual piece of content driving the incentives for making it.

As a result, Garrett’s account was taken down, along with a few other popular videos advertising a book that has already sold tens of thousands of copies. As long as the incentives remain, it won’t be long until the next product promising a miracle starts polluting my For You page.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[the-thing-of-worms]

please could you give me a simple rundown of the events (spoiler free i mean)

For the book? Sure!

I'll give you the synapsis:

It is 700 years in the future, mankind was forced to leave earth for its moon over 6 centuries ago, but crime remains.

An Alien Homicide detective and his human sidekick must learn to put aside their differences to solve a heinous string of homicides, but will the truth that lies at the end of this case be the one they want to hear?

===================================

A brief run down of events (very very vague spoilers but I did my best to leave them out)

Our main character, Mourice, is working to solve a series of homicides, each one is incredibly precise and calculated and he quickly realizes that this isn't just any serial killer, this looks like the working of a contract killer, someone hired to take out all of these people without a trace.

But why?

When an argument comes to a head in his boss's office, a new sidekick is forced upon him, a slow, dimwitted (Mourices words) character named Lane Zareth.

Together Mourice and Lane have to work through their differences while simultaneously being hot on the trail of the killer, but it seems like every time they get close to catching this guy there's another body to find.

During all this, Mourice turns to the help of the church, the church has always been a place of guidance for him, and it's where he meets Gerebil Ziac. Ziac is a reclusive member of the wormman clergy who Mourice has never seen before, as time goes on, the two build a bond and become close friends. But what is Ziac hiding? Why are they so adamant about being close? Should Mourice be worried about what Ziac wants to show him?

The book ends at the very peak of action, leaving you desperate for what happens next! Stay turned!

If you're interested in the book you can buy it on Amazon dot com under "Tales of the Wormmen" though you'll have to scroll a bit as for some reason I'm not at the top of the list for books with my title, even if there's no one else with my title

Or you could go here: this is the web page for queer haven books! They sell my novel in their store and are incredibly sweet people!

[thevindicativevordan]

Year in Review: 2022

Damn what a year. Not his best but definitely one that we will probably look back on as the defining year of the 2020s for the character. Held off on posting this until practically the last minute just to avoid any final surprises for Superman in a year that's been full of them.

Comics

On the comics side this was another great year. PKJ brought the Warworld Saga to an overall satisfying conclusion, wrapping up a storyline that brought the character to one of his lowest points ever at the start, and ended with Superman ascending triumphantly to new levels of power. While he fell short of his stated goal in differentiating Mongul from Darkseid, he did successfully create a Warworld brimming with future storytelling potential, and his Mongul is an entertaining foil for Superman regarding parental influence shaping their character. The post Warworld Saga issues have been solid, and I thought he, Williamson, and Taylor handled the restoration of the secret identity in Action Comics #1050 as best as they could have. Sad to see Federeci go but he gave us some all time great Superman covers and interiors regardless, and there's always a chance he and PKJ might reunite for a Superman BL book.

Mark Waid managed to actually live up to the hype surrounding his return to DC, with his World's Finest series being easily the best thing he's written since Daredevil. Convinced me to care about Magog outside of Kingdom Come for the first time ever, no mean feat. Champions had made me want to keep Waid far, far away from any teen characters ever again, but his writing for Dick, Kara, and the Teen Titans has been shockingly great, to the point calls for Waid to write a Titans book no longer strike me as utterly insane. Dan Mora of course is a key part of the book's success, his visuals being critical to selling the Neo-Silver Age atmosphere, and he managed to do the impossible: make Composite Superman cool. Many artists have tried to modernize that design, Mora finally succeeded by tossing everything out but the basic concept of a Superman/Batman merger. Starting from that simple idea he created a new design that captured everyone's interest.

Tom King stands out as someone who did excellent work with both Superman and Supergirl. His Dark Crisis Superman tie-in was a powerful exploration of Clark regaining the lost years with Jon. Burnham as always was the perfect fit for showing both characters wrestling with deep seeded emotional issues, and plenty of gore filled fisticuffs. Meanwhile he gave Kara her first standalone "classic", which has proved quite popular in trade sales judging both from King's own words and the Amazon sales list that I've seen. Bliquis Evely's art is for Supergirl what Frank Quietly is for Superman, scenes like the one where Supergirl takes red kryptonite to go fight space monsters are permanently seared into my brain due to sheer beauty and spectacle.

Elseworlds wise we had Venditti and Torres giving us the Superman III that never was with Superman '78. An entertaining execution of the standard "Brainiac shows up and tries to bottle Superman/Metropolis" plotline with a few twists that wrapped up this year, it had a few genuinely novel ideas that shaped my perception of Brainiac. Venditti also did a World of Krypton mini that retold the story of Krypton’s final days. Writing was mediocre but Oeming’s art is beautiful and was enough to keep me from dropping the book. Russel is doing a great job with a "Life Story" for Superman in Space Age, even if I wish he didn't give Batman as many pages as he does. Would buy an Absolute just for all that Allred art regardless, Allred is a vital component in my enjoyment of that series. Over at the Marvelous Competition, Gaiman and Buckingham are at last giving us the resolution to their Miracleman run. Unsurprisingly I am greatly enjoying it and very excited to read where it goes.

Sadly while Clark had a great year, and Kara didn't do bad herself, there were a number of crashes and burns too. Jon and Kon had a horrible year. Not since Byrne has a new Superman been given such a totally broken foundation, with Taylor doing his damndest to smother any potential Jon ever had. At this point I no longer care about Jon until they get him out of Taylor's clutches, which thankfully may be soon judging by his words in some recent interviews. Only bright spot for me regarding Jon was that, terrible as Dark Crisis was, Williamson wrote a really enjoyable and scrappy Jon there that reminded me of why I was interested in him being Superman in the first place. Kon meanwhile was in a garbage event tie-in that did zero of worth with him. 2022 ends as one of Conner's worst years ever easily.

Media

Outside of comics the simplest word to summarize Superman's treatment would be chaotic. Cavill makes his shocking return to the role for film, greeted by joyous fans!... who don't show up for Black Adam which bombs hard. Yet word is released that Man of Steel 2 is in the works, to much anticipation and speculation!... until Gunn and Safran get hired to run DC and promptly cancel MoS2, with Cavill acknowledging that his time wearing the cape has come to an end. Paired with this announcement is word that Gunn is writing the script for a new Superman reboot, and that Coates/Abrams project continues to be worked on as an Elseworld project. Other than Clark being already established as Superman, we know absolutely nothing about the proposed film, which didn't stop meltdowns across the Internet as the Cult finally realized that the Snyderverse was well and truly over. Momoa may be switching to Lobo for the DC cinematic universe, and if they're already talking to him about playing the role, it's a safe bet the first place he'll show up is the new Superman movie. The new DCU "Gunnverse" therefore is betting it's future on Gunn being the first one to succeed since Donner in adapting Superman, which means that the new head of DC is personally invested in ensuring Superman succeeds because it's his job on the line. At least he mentioned on Twitter that he loves Morrison's Superman, and he's been posting Andy Kubert art from Up in the Sky! which is very encouraging to say the least. Going from Snyder to Gunn might end up being the best upgrade Superman has gotten since Donner took over the first movie.

Another live action Superman got his second season this year and it was judged to be a step down from the first. Hoechlin, Tulloch, and Parks all did excellent with what they were given, and the actress playing Parasite tried her best with the flimsy characterization and lines she had to deliver. Jon's actor departed the show and was recast, whether that will cause a change in direction for the character is up in the air.

Animation was the best medium for the Supers outside of comics. Young Justice S4, while retreading old ground regarding Conner being reduced to a weapon, at least treated him better this year than the comics did. He got his happy ending with M'gann, and the show's take on the Zods was the best since Shannon. The season ending on a post credit tease for Kara becoming one of Darkseid's Furies, which is never getting followed up on unless that deal with Amazon bails the show out again, is hilarious. Fucking Weisman chooses to end the series on another big Darkseid tease despite knowing that it wasn't renewed for more seasons! If YJ is finished for good this time then I am at least satisfied with how Conner's story ended, and don't mind if that is the end. Jon and Krypto got entertaining animated movies too with Battle of the Super-Sons and League of Super-Pets, neither of which was anything special, but certainly worth a watch for anyone craving more Superman content. Whether either will see a sequel remains to be seen.

Video game wise we got the first WB cross-property brawler in Multiversus, with Superman in the starting line-up. Found the game fun enough, although it did nothing to diminish my craving for a proper Superman solo game. There were also multiple Superman Easter Eggs in Gotham Knights that referenced him directly or members of his family. Perhaps teases for future DC projects, perhaps not. Not sure I even want WB Montreal to attempt a Superman game after the Wattpad fanfic tier bullshit they submitted for Gotham Knights. Outright Games is also making a fun looking JL: Cosmic Chaos game that has the team dealing with Mxy.

Future

Next year is Superman's 85th and it looks like it will be a milestone anniversary indeed. First up we have PKJ's Action book switching to be more Superfamily focused starting in January, pitting them against a revamped Metallo. He's teased that after the Metallo arc is done, coming up the next arc will feature another revamp of a Superman fan favorite Rogue, a Multiversial Supermen team up is happening, Superman and Constantine may end up working together, and revealed he has ideas for Maxima, Toyman, Mxy, and Bizarro. Then in February Williamson is on a new Superman ongoing with art by Campbell and Dragotta, with a tone aiming to be reminiscent of the STAS cartoon. Finally we have Taylor launching a new Jon mini where he teams up with Val-Zod to stop Ultraman from killing variants of his dad across the Multiverse. Totally on board with PKJ, interested in Williamson, skipping Taylor entirely. Waid is continuing on World's Finest for now, and has teased there may be more spinoffs coming out of that series. I expect something involving Magog to come at some point in the future.

Waid and Yang are also overseeing Lazarus Planet which is an event that will shake up the status quo by giving characters new powers and changing the powersets of those who already have them (such as Jon getting the Electric Blue powerset). Hoping to see Waid and Yang use Clark, Jon, and Kenan in the event.

For upcoming Superman and Super adjacent characters comics that are for sure happening, first we have Steelworks by an unknown creative team (praying it's Pak writing) about John Henry Irons and Natasha working together to reshape Metropolis with their tech. Venditti is already writing a second season of Superman '78, no word on if Torres will return too. Porter's Superboy: Man of Tomorrow mini with Jahnoy Lindsay comes out next year. Premise is very similar to King's Supergirl series but this has been described as Superman meets DBZ which is definitely different tone wise from what King did. Christopher Priest is reuniting with his old Deathstroke team to make a Superman: Lost mini telling what happens when Superman is gone on a mission that's only a little while for everyone else, but centuries for him. Now's the perfect time to let Priest deconstruct Superman while the mainline books do more straightforward storytelling. While not officially announced, Waid and Hitch's Superman: Testament Black Label book is said to be coming out next year per Hitch himself.

More uncertainly there is Mark Millar saying he's having discussions regarding doing a Superman book for DC again, whether that's just typical Millar making a play for attention before announcing another Millarworld project remains to be seen. Geoff Johns may be working on a Legion book, his Flashpoint Beyond series teased a War of the Four Legions story that would doubtlessly result in the Retrobook ousting the Bendisboot from being the "canon" DC future. Would also no doubt restore Clark's childhood ties to the Legion and thus make Secret Origin canon in full. Scott Snyder talked about returning to DC in 2023 or 2024 for Metal 3 which he said before would be Superman focused, although given he described Death Metal as a "Wonder Woman" event he may not have the same definition on what constitutes that as the rest of us.

Live action wise, Gunn has said we will get more information about the coming slate, with Superman being one of the projects we'll learn more about no doubt, in Jan. S&L S3 promises a return to Metropolis, more journalism work for Lois, Intergang making moves, and a new Lex Luthor not played by Cryer complicating the status quo. John Henry Irons should remain a key character given Intergang killed his counterpart on the show's Earth, and is said to be involved going off of the solicit for S3. If the writers acknowledged the feedback on what worked and what didn't with S2 then I think the show can find it's footing again. If not I'll keep watching for as long as the Hoechlin/Tulloch/Parks trio keeps getting cool stuff to do.

Regarding animation we have two movies set in the "Tomorrowverse", Legion of Superheroes which stars Kara joining the titular team, and JL: Warworld which is our first movie following the Tomorrowverse incarnation of the JL. There's also a JL/RWBY movie which will have Superman in it, but having never watched any RWBY myself I plan on skipping it. Against all odds and in total defiance of what you would expect, WB chose to send the new Batman cartoon out to be shopped around and keep the new Superman cartoon for themselves as originally planned. A recent leak - which I won't share here - gave us some details on what the show has planned, and what I read has me eager as hell for MAWS to debut.

Despite all the craziness of the past year I feel incredibly upbeat going into 2023. The uncertainty surrounding Superman's film future has at last been put to rest, his new animated cartoon survived the purges, he's got a comic for everyone either out now or coming soon, the Superfamily and his Rogues are getting focus, and Multiversus broke the trend of all the video game Supermen being evil (although there's still Rocksteady's Suicide Squad game to contend with). Quite the turn around compared to where he was a decade ago, even if it doesn't give me everything I want.

[mdhwrites]

Spectacular Spider-Man: Still Lives Up To Its Title

I started rewatching this a couple days ago while babysitting and it had a pretty big legacy to live up to. It is THE series that made sure Spider-Man was my favorite hero of all time. The reason why The Amazing Spiderman 2 probably had a lot of good will from me because this show's interpretation of shocker literally never left me. The show that solidified my love for smart fighters above brute force wins because how Peter beat the Rhino never left me.

And... Seven episodes in and it's effectively everything I remember. Great animation, a unique style, but above all else just really good writing, especially for Spider-Man. One that really sells the struggle that Peter has to deal with. Not just in missing things but all the times that he hates having a secret identity, the reasons he keeps it, how it plays off of others but also how Spidey genuinely keeps good company.

One thing I don't think I ever quite got is how much it sold to me my love for well written teenagers. The show itself talks about teenagers making mistakes when under pressure and how they start dealing with bigger pressures and seeing that weigh on Peter is good. It allows for more interesting morals than normal while also still allowing for morals and a focus on real life issues that I feel are unique for kid's shows. How many kid's shows have protagonists who don't just worry about money for selfish gain after all but because their family is genuinely broke?

I'm not going to say its flawless, you can see where some of the corners are cut for the animation from time to time, the theme REALLY needs a better singer, and while its serialized, it makes sure it's episodic enough to have a villain of the week and that can sometimes lead to a bit of a quick pace. I don't mind because I like the comic book esque style writing and the smart serialization means that when all Rhino wants is to murder Spider-Man, he doesn't come across as just an asshole because he's already a reoccuring character. Not a complex one but one that we understand why he wants Spidey dead so badly. Motivations lead into each episode and you can see the shifting tide in characters, even as the show makes sure no one is making unreasonable moves. I understand anyone who can't quite get into the pacing like I can though, especially since there is probably some amount of nostalgia blinders on for me. Speaking of: I get if anyone doesn't really like the style. It's very simple and angular and while they get a lot out of it, it's not always the prettiest to look at.

But it is nice that the show that made me first interested in the character is still so strong, even 15 years later. I didn't think about media in the way I do now and it always makes me worry how I'll see old favorites. Instead, my favorite version of the webhead continues to impress.

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I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

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[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month Finale: One Piece Poll Winner: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island!: Pretty Spooky Huh Folks?

Ahoy swabs and welcome to the final review of pirate month, my monthlong salute to piracy. And I decided to shove off this grand experiment with one of the greatest pirate franchises of all time, One Piece!

My love of One Piece is paradoxical, as I dearly love it as one of my faviorite mangas, an intricatley built work that's bonkers as it is epic, the story of one man's goal to become pirate king and the band of misfits he picks up along the way. I'm also super behind as while i've read spoilers, i have not read the work itself from Amazon Lily onward, as I simply haven't found the method or time to do so yet. I truly WANT to and miss this franchise and intend to rectify that before the manga ends.

That being said it's obvious reviewing the ENTIRE series would fill up a month at the LEAST, especially a series this size. Thankfully like many popular anime one piece has a buncha cruncha movies. Unthankfully most of them haven't gotten a proper release in the US as of the time of this article. Yeah it's weird: The two recap films (Though none of the specials as far as I know), covering the events of Alabasta and Drum Island, have gotten translated but otherwise only the films from Strong World onward have been released. And stupid old me used to think it was simply because there weren't any before that, hence why they translated desert princess and the pirates: episode of alabasta (which I used to own), first.

Yeah.. as I found out via the YouTube channel TotallyNotMark, which I HIGHLY recommend as he does blind reviews of various manga, analysis of dragon ball all sorts of good stuff, reviewed all the one piece films both pre and post oda's involvment in them, which piqued my intrest. So to help explore this further I put it to you guys to pick one for me from my own selectoins and my patrons. And I gotta thank you all as it not only ended up being THE most popular poll i've done, but compettion got so heated, I had to do a SECOND vote. And because the second option, Clockwork Kakruki Castle, was SO popular i'l lbe reviewing it sometime next year so if I do another one piece poll (For next pirate month or just for my own amusement), the result won't be obvious. So thank you all

This one is out of all the movies I hadn't seen yet (Having only seen Strong World, Film Z and Episode of Alabasta before this) the one that intrigued me the most both for how impressed Mark was with it, and for the director, Mamoru Hosada. While I've seen criminally little of his work, I know him well from his digimon work, being the director for both the 20 minute promo film and the much more known and loved Our War Game, aka the first and second segments of digimon the Movie. For the record the Our War Game dub still holds up well, with only ONE part in the original film not matched by the dub while the short film.. dosen't mostly because the film added a bunch of excessive narration that critics call

He's a director with a unique visual style, tons of flair, and thus seeing him tackle ANOTHER franchise I love was a VERY easy sell.

Unsuprisingly I loved this one, and as I want more people to see it properly, i'm going to do something unusual for me. See normally I do full spoilers in my review wether the work is recent or not. It helps me analyzie it fully and normally I feel you can still enjoy it. However this film has such massive swerves in the plot and tone that I recommend going in with as little spoilers as possible. So i'm going to take a page from multiple youtubers book and try and review the film WITHOUT spoilers first, then dive into analyizing the spoilery bits after a warning. So you can come back. If you've seen it all, then your good to go hombre.

This film.. is a masterpiece. While I fear I use that term a bit too often and have tried to be more sparring.... in this case it FULLY and unconditionally applies. This film is easily the best anime film based on an existing property i've seen which may seem a tad narrow but keep in mind i'ts beating out the likes of dragon ball super: broly and Pokemon The Movie 2000 when I say this. And for anime film themselves, which mostly consists of miazaki's genius works, it's still high up there, as well as with just plain animation. In every catagory this one is a high water mark and one I would watch again.

The animation, as is typical for it's director is gorgeous. It's a wonderful blend of Oda's iconic style and Hosada's gorgeous, low line , brightly saturated animation. The two combine effortlessly, and the bright hues Hosada prefers fit wonderfully with these cast, while still alwoing them to move a bit diffrently. There's tons of gorgeous set pieces too and much like Oda himself, Hosada made sure the island felt like a character with each area our heroes end up in, from an omnious jungle to a canal for the most epic and gorgeus game of ring toss ever, to the finale in a dark dismal cavern, everything loks breath taking, you get a sense of where everything is in relation to each othe r(Which as I realized from mark's reviews of the manga itself is something One Piece excells at), and thus your transported to this majestic and beautiful island.. but also run because things get very dark very quickly

Which brings us to the films tone which for some is a turn off: While the film starts like a typical arc of One Piece, the crew get a mysterious invitation to a resort island and Luffy of course is all in on diving into it because it mentioned bringing your nakama (or as he puts it because their pirates), they end up over their heads fighting some weirdos who challenge them to

Lead by the mysterious and titular Baron Omatsuri, whose crew of former pirates compete with our heroes in said ordeal, and things are far more than they seem and our heros naturally have to beat this guy, save the island and all that good stuff.

The story isn't out of place. Honestly this could easily take place right between Skypeia and Water 7 and be intergrated with the main story if Oda wanted it to, and it even feels like a typical crew origin story as one of the island's few omatsuri unrelated inhabitants, Brief, is a pirate with a tragic backstory Luffy bonds with and could've easily joined the crew were this canon. It's part of why the film works is that it feels fully on brand and on quality with the world Oda set up, his writing and characters despite him not being involved at all as far as I can tell. Even the weridness of the Baron's crew and the ordeals of hell feels VERY oda: we have a weird speckled man who has a giant pet goldfish our heroes have to combine their skills to rangle into a bucket (Whcih is an excellent highllight of the film where EVERY strawhat contributes and robin delivers an awesome coup de grace after realizing that the rules never mattered and she can just cheat, creating a finger net with her powers. )

To a high stakes ring toss compettion down a river, which is easily the most beauitful part of the film, and Sanji getting so annoyed with a chef doing Mongollian BBQ on a griddle using giant food he challenges him to a fight. Is that last one as plot relevant? No. Does it matter?

It does what a good writer should do when taking on material they didn't create, and something most good writers for marvel and dc do: Have it match the style and honor what went before, but make it your own in the process.

That being said part of making it it's own.. is where this film apparently divides people: See this work isn't just an action shonen adventure piece like usual.. but a horror film, one using the very themes of one piece as a whole and twisting it into something truly horrifying. As a fan of horror these days, I naturally loved that but I also went in KNOWING it took a turn. If you don't like horror, you likely won't like this one and that's fine. While it's not bloody, well not any more than one piece, it is DEEPLY unsettling, with a fairly ominous tone even before we find out what Omatsuri's deal is and the nightmarish climax kicks in. The last half hour is bleak, unsettling and epic in equal measures so if your not ready for that, you might want to skip this one. And yes the world of one piece has some very horrifying concept: a power that turns you into a toy and wipes people smemories of you, everything about lava murder man with the two names, the celstial dragons horrible amount of power, crocodile draining luffy of all moisture. Ther'es some true nightmarish stuff in there, but nothing really out of step with most manga. In contrast this one is both horrifying emotoinally in what it puts LUffy through, something equal to the nightmare that was the end of Sabody if you need a yardstick, and just in tone. It's GOOD horror, but you have to be ready and even being prepared for things to go sideways, it was still VERY intense.

That being said said intensety also has emotoinal complexity. While many complain "this really sin't one piece".. it honestly truly is. It's a story of overcoming odds to protect those you care about, and as well as how doing so can corrupt and twist you. It's diffrent from the normal tone sure.. but the core of the work is still there and if you can stomach the unsettling last act, then you'll REALLY enjoy this one as it easily stands with some of the best tales of the strawhats proper.

So with that in mind

SPOILERS BITCHES GET OFF THE BOAT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING IMPORTANT ABOUT THE FILM.

So with that we come to what makes it so horrifying and the film so brilliant: See our big bad Baron Omatsuri.. is a truly haunting, tragic and complicated villian. He's still not a good man and still needs to loose less our heroes all die via mean white mother from outer space and she's bad. But Omatsuri's backstory is heartbreaking: Like Luffy he had a crew who were his "nakama' , his true companions, his family of choice, people he'd fight and die for and loved before anything else... and he lost them all. Not through any fault of his own, not through anything wrong., but through one of the most common hazzards of sea travel: The storm. A storm destroyed his boat and left him alone.. and thus he found lily, a cartoon lily whose on his shoulder the whole movie, gives him wood powers.. and is VERY hungry. In exchange for feeding her scores of victims, she brought back a simulation of his crew, plant zombies who don't remember what happened to them and who he misleads and who can't die as long as lily lives and is fed. He's easily what LUFFY could've become in his lower moments and oddly despite coming WELL before the heartbreak of Sabody and the Paramount War, foreshadows them well by showing just how much a pirate can break and what they'll do to get these sort of things back. If it wasn't for Jinbei or knowing his crew was alive, would Luffy be willing to make this sort of bargin? If he were in a position to get his brother back, would he have taken the same bait despite the cost? It's easy to say no and on a good day he absolutely woudln't.. but on the worst day of his life when he's lost everything? When he's broken completely? Whose to say Luffy coudln't of sunk to the depths the baron did if someone hadn't pulled him out of it and got hi mto focus his energies into getting stronger instead? That's what makes Omatsuri so damn compelling: He's just a hare off what Luffy could've become and instead has turned into his complete oppsiite: someone who will GLADLY destroy other people's friendships and lives as long as he gets what he wants, who mocks the concept of nakama because he truly lost his. And someone who GLOATS while basically crucifying luffy as he's forced to watch his crew be abosrbed into the giant worm... plant.. thing.

Yeah as you can tell this one also gets lovecraftian, at least in design as while lily's brain is grafted to omatsuri ti's stomach.. is a giant dune-esque sandworm type thing, a white tube that reflects attacks and whose top is a horror scape that slowly sucks people inside. And Luffy gets to WATCH as that happens, after his crew had already been breaking apart due to omatsuri's machinations. It's easily one of the most heartwrenching bits of the franchise and that is a LONG list it's hard to climb to. Sure we know deep down it'll sort itself out, this movie isn't canon and all that.. but the movie does good in making you still feel the pain anyway: that Luffy has TRULY lost everything.

What saves him is what always does: other people. Specifically the other residents. The afformentioned Brief is a charlie Chaplin esque fellow, who even gets an utterly hilarious chase scene with luffy earlier in the movie who at first seems like comic relief.. but ends up being the core of the movie. He lost his Nakama to Omatsuri, the hitler mustach.. errrr j.jonah jameson... toothbrush mustache pirates. Yeah that's it. And we see the two options someone has after that: breif despite having lost his nakama STILL fights, and tries to help Luffy despite being outmatched as omatsuri has the wicked cool power of arrows he can direct anywhere, and given sharp objects are one of Luffy's only weaknesses yeah... dosen't go well. He's seen what can be lost.. but dosen't give up. I meant what I said that if this were canon, he'd be a strawhat: He's brave, fights despite heavy loss, and Luffy outright calls him nakama, accepting him because despite Omatsuri mocking the poor guy for weakness... he's strong. He kept fighting even though he lost EVERYTHING, simply so this horror show dosen't continue, making tunnels, planning just so he can win and allying with Luffy despite both being outmatched.

In contrast we have the Teacup Pirates.. who are really just a family who came here for vacation, the mom got eaten and now the dad tries to look strong for his kids despite his older teenage daughter know he's full of shit.. and as we find out his yougner daughter Daisy

Has super hearing, but belives in him anyway. He does a terrible but understandable action, refusing to help chopper earlier when he's taken.. but later realizes his kids truly belivie in him. He gets an arc going from someone so terrified they can't do the right thing.. to someone who risks everything to fire an arrow into daisy, destroying her and saving the day. It's another thing this has: the characters are damn strong and the emotoinal pull is massive.

The horror elment again is also strong, from Omatsuri sicking a faceless horde with guns on our heroes , to his tendency to snipe anyone who gets too close to things, hence why Robin and Chopper despite finding out stuff end up not to useful, and of course th efinale. Oh my the finale. So yeah if the stygian arakis worm wasn't enough it then EXPLODES over a red backdrop.. and daisy FUSES with omatsuri, not only taking on a terrifying face.. but then becoming some horrifying monstroisty with all the strawhats suspended in it

Yeah this film has some great horror and is deadly intense, with the last bit being great as Luffy is IMPALIED with tons of arrows. .but keeps going. This is what I mean by the series spirit: Luffy ONLY gives up when he thinks his crew is dead. earlier when Omatsuri first shows his true colors Nami leaves thinking he's not carring to look.. but he instead charges the guy DEMANDING his missing friends (as in horror fashion Chopper, Robin and Usopp were picked off one by one and Nami, Sanji and Zoro follow after) and even as he gets crucificed sends his fucking head to try and save Zoro. This film gets luffy fully an dgets one piece: it's a work about friendship, and how far you'll go. For Omatsuri it meant selling his soul but for luffy.. it's what keeps his soul going and ultimately wins the day. By showing someone how to be better.. he saved his friends, the surivvors and the world And Omatsuri gets a fitting sendoff.. not as the corrupt man he became.. but greeted by his crew as he passes on, with them telling him he should'v ecreated a new nakama.

So yeah as you can tell emotoinally it's graet and really the only two flaws are part of the plot: The first is the film just kinda.. ends. It's a great ending: Luffy, barely moble as usual after punching out some tyranical jackass, reunites with the other survivors then turns his head up and sees his friends, recovered, free and wandering what the hell is going on. Now granted I think the film would be a smidge more impactful if luffy had to start over, but I get this is a liscened work and thus has to keep everyone alive, the only time being based on ane xisting property holds the film back. And it ends on Luffy grinning as his friends are confused, happy he finally has his Nakama back. And then just ends without explaning what happens to the teacup family or Brief. it just.. ends. It's a good impactful ending it just feels.. cut short. Like there's still a lot of loose ends to tie up.

The other is minor: Nami's grudge against Usopp. Now people complain about the strawhats fighting here.. and I disagree when it comes to Zoro and Sanji. They USUALLY hate each other and can't go five minutes without arguing. This is normal for the most part and only esclates due to the tension of the situation. And while you could say that's out of character.. it is partly Sanji's fault there there. Granted he dickishly blames Luffy but the point is the two fight on a normal day, being trapped on an island in a death game probably woudln't help.

Nami and Usopp is clearly meant to be similar.. but she's mad he seemingly abandoned her.. after it's proven he didn't and ewas just flying out to fly ina nd save everybody and be all badass as one's lord and savior should. God i love that long nosed man. So it just falls flat.

That being said everything else works: the ordeal from hell provides plenty of the action the series is known for, while also having a nice invesgitation portion as Luffy, Robin and Chopper find out more, and the horror at the end is as beautiful as it is terrifying. This film is amazing so watch it however you can till there's an offical release. As it stands there isn't a way to watch it as it isn't on Crunchyroll for some reason , as even undubbed it'd still be neat. Btu there's a wonderful fan sub out there, so go check that out. Seriously watch this film.

So that does it for pirate month. This was a fun voyage but it's time to weigh anchor for a while. If you'd like to vote in more polls like the one that made this movie, join my patreon, links on the blog, and i'll see you in a week. Thanks for reading.

[trickster-shi]

Stolen Fanfics on Amazon

Hey fandom lovelies, a commenter on Bridge of Scars alerted me that someone has stolen that fic and put it up on Amazon to sell. I will be contacting Amazon after I get off work to get it taken down, but it looks like I’m not the only one. They have Teen Wolf and other stolen fandom works for sale, as well. If you could, take a look and see if you recognize any of the fics and contact those authors so they can get them taken down as well. If you don’t, please signal boost this so other fic authors can check.

I know this happens all the time but it’s the first it’s ever happened to me and it feels violating as hell.

Here is a link to the series they published my story under, I’ve not had a chance to do more than glance through them: