#seriously though Tom Riddle is such an interesting character

[maysileeewrites]

My Tom Riddle obsession is back in full swing and I’m not mad in the slightest about it ✨🐍

[fatesundress]

hi lov

i’m on here after devouring the entirety of ur tom riddle masterlist because i just can’t encapsulate my love or admiration for ur writing in a simple comment. you’re incredible – i haven’t been invested in his character for ages but you’ve managed to bring new life to an old hyperfixation, now with the added obsession for your prose and characterisation specifically. observations was beautiful and so so endearing, and patience please […] was the first of ur works i came across that managed to captivate me entirely.

and shit, i’m gonna start another paragraph for the love that used to be there because it deserves it. wow. holy shit - bravo. i woke up this morning with plans to read it in segments and work on my own writing in between, but i sat down and ate through it like a starving beast. it’s 4 hours later now - every minute of which taken up by reading - and i will never stop thinking about that oneshot; that heart-wrenching, gorgeous, detailed piece of work that triggered something in me i don’t think can ever be mended. something about how subtlety soft tom is throughout - how readers friendship with him is chronicled throughout the years. how you re-contextualised his motives by attributing them, in part, to her. love creeps up on them so masterfully that i felt as though ive lived through every second described, like the angst and pain of losing a person who’s become so integral to your personhood was a real thing i was going through. and the mentions of the war, of blood prejudice and the wizarding world’s ignorance to what’s going on with the muggles - they all make for the best little touches. i appreciate every thought u put into that fic, seriously

i can go on and on but i don’t wanna bore you. im just so hdjjdjwjdjejjd, fucking fawning over ur writing and will never get enough. 🤍🤍

oh wow wowow wowowow. okay let me compose myself and be normal

thank you so SO much 😭 i've been in a really self-critical, demotivated place with my writing and checking in on tumblr to see this is ??????>?? indescribably reassuring and incredibly kind

i should preface that i basically do one skim-over of my fics before i post them, have no beta-readers, and for shame i cannot reread them so it's always so helpful to get some positive insight (and from someone with several miguel and joel fics i will Definitely Absolutely Not be binging later) and be reminded that people are enjoying them!! so thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

your feelings on for the love that used to be here are exactly what i hoped to elicit :') i'm so honoured and grateful to play any part in rekindling passion for an old interest, and to do it for one i myself am so inconsolably passionate about means hopefully i'm doing something right. ty for being here! ty for your sweet words! so much love to you <3

[ashesandhackles]

Voldemort, Bellatrix and Barty Crouch Jr for the character ask Apologies if you are tired of receiving more of these asks.

I am starting to think you are sending me these asks because I have cool song recs 😤 - because my last one was entirely a shitpost. XD

But no worries, I am a humble blogger and I take all opportunities to procrastinate at work.

• favourite thing about them

Voldemort: patricide. Voldemort's rage at his father's abandonment of him makes him super compelling to me. His backstory in HBP was fascinating.

Barty Crouch Jnr: Father issues that he projects onto Voldemort.

Bellatrix: she is the prime example of wanting to uphold terrible patriarchal, anti women ideologies while wanting to be an exception.

• least favourite thing about them

Voldemort: what a great, humble guy. I can't think of anything I dislike.

Barty Crouch Jnr: that he got killed off. One of the few competent DEs we had.

Bellatrix: Okay I am going to answer this one seriously - I think the moment I viscerally hate what's on page is her offering Hermione to Fenrir Greyback.

• favourite line

Voldemort: "May your loyalty never waver again, Wormtail" - because that was a line he made while gifting the silver hand. It's on reread that you realise he is making a threat.

Barty Crouch Jnr: Oscar level acting for "It wasnt me mother" hysterics at the trial for him. But also his villain monologue at the end of GOF maybe?

Bellatrix: tbh, it's less her line and more of Harry baiting her to get a reaction, "did you know he was a half blood too?" Lmao or Snape's bored 'Yes indeed, most admirable" when she talks about staying in Azkaban for Voldemort.

• BroTP

Voldemort: Nagini. His only true friend.

Barty Crouch Jnr: Peter. The year they worked together in GOF brought them closer

Bellatrix: it used to be Andromeda, but now she has to settle for her baby sister, Cissy.

• OTP

Voldemort: Given his massive reaction to her death even though he spends Dark Lord Ascending chapter toying with her, dangling his favour while making some innuendos, I am going to say Bella.

Barty Crouch Jnr: had a crush on Regulus. It led nowhere.

Bellatrix: polyamory setup with Voldemort and Rodolphus, because that is more interesting reading than Rodolphus being insecure about the relationship.

nOTP

All three of them shouldn't be around normal characters Imao. Everyone is a nOTP.

Random headcanon

Voldemort: He robbed Borgin and Burke's before he left. He enjoys his little antique dark objects collection that Lucius is now forced to keep in his basement.

Barty Crouch Jnr: Winky was his carer and best friend growing up.

Bellatrix: Kind of respects Sirius and Andromeda in a twisted way for having convictions even though she hates what those are, while she condescends to Narcissa (and possibly Regulus when he was alive).

Unpopular opinion

Voldemort: on his own, the adult persona of Voldemort feels flat, unless you consider Tom Riddle and how what drives Tom feeds the Voldemort persona. When you combine the two, he makes more sense as a character. Plus Dark Lord Ascending is him at his peak Toxic Bad Boss glory.

Barty Crouch Jnr: Would be more interested in him and Snape in GOF. He would have figured out Snape's true loyalties, yes?

Bellatrix: she does display more on page nuance than what initially reads to the eye. The fact that she doesn't sell out Narcissa's Unbreakable Vow with Snape, teaches Draco Occlumency, disagrees with Voldemort on Snape's loyalties (although this is a bit coloured by jealousy), and is seen running with Lucius (Imao) when Voldemort starts murdering people when he realises the Hufflepuff cup is stolen. She is also terrified by the idea that the cup may be stolen (by seeing the sword) so she has a great degree of fear of Voldemort and does not seem to think she will escape death at his hands. She also calls Sirius "Animagus Black" at end of OOTP to Voldemort which is super distancing language, as if to tell Voldemort they aren't related. Very interesting stuff.

• songs I associate with them

Voldemort : Here is one for his rebirth sequence

Barty Crouch Jnr: Here is him waiting under the Imperius for his Master, his true father lol

Bellatrix: for the vibes.

• favourite picture of them

Voldemort: this one. It's just perfect.

Barty Crouch Jnr: I have only seen one fanart of Jnr (and it was a very good one)

Bellatrix: Giblimort's Bellatrix. Fully embracing the haughty aristocratness.

[peppersonironi]

DUKE THOMAS ISN’T THE SANE ONE! A guide by Pepper

So, I have seen so many people writing Duke incorrectly, and I wanted to do something about it. In fanon, he is described as the sane bat, who would rather stay home and safe, and absolutely never join in shenanigans. Now, I know there are a lot of things wrong with canon, but Duke is one of the better parts! He is an interesting character who is actually just as chaotic as the rest of the gotham vigilantes. And so it it is quite unfair to his character to say he is the 'Arnold from the Magic Schoolbus' of the group. He's really not.

So I decided to make a list of ten instances in the comics where he disobeys Bruce, acts reckless, or is just a bat! (also for a Batfam Group Chat I’m a part of, someone asked for these) I hope this helps people understand his character better, and maybe even inspire them to write more about him? Seriously, Tag me if you do. I'm starved for good Duke content!

Feel free to add more in the comments, these are just what I could think of off the top of my head! (Hence the kinda weird order, sry)

1. He's a vigilante

Okay, so this is a bit obvious, but I still think it needs saying. You think that a guy who dresses in bright yellow and patrols the most crime-ridden city in the world during the day is 100% sane?

2. We Are Robin

Also obvious, but still. This guy joins a group of untrained teenage robins who just want to make a difference. And they do! It's still pretty reckless, though. 

3. He tried to take on the Riddler

In case you didn't know, in the beginning of New 52 (Zero year, specifically) the Riddler essentially held Gotham Hostage. He had some spiel about someone giving him a riddle he couldn't solve, and letting the city go. You know who decided he would be that person? Duke Thomas! He trained in brain-teasers, and puzzles, tirelessly worked. He became quite the adept riddler (not the villain). The kick? He was a child! (Look at the above panels, isn't he cute?) Duke was young, yet determined. And if that's not a bat quality, I don't know what is.

4. He escaped the cops by jumping off a bridge.

Oh no! Duke is in a police car! Oh no! He's on a bridge! What's he going to do?! Why, jump out and off the bridge while proclaiming "I am Robin" of course! Seriously, look at that panel and try to argue that he is the responsible goody-two-shoes of the family.

5. He talked down an enraged Damian

Basically, Damian was manipulated into joining the court of owls. Duke, who refused to believe that Robin genuinely joined them, fought him and talked him down. Now, this is Damian we're talking about. Sure, the kid is absolutely adorable and can be incredibly caring (Fight me on this, I dare you. Also, frick you DC), but when he's on a rampage, there is little that can stop him. So of course Duke decides to take care of it!

6. He actively tries to have a relationship with Damian.

Okay, so this one is a little weak, but I wanted an excuse to share those panels. Aren't those two great?! But seriously, Duke ignores that this tiny child could kill him in more ways than he could count, and even invites him to a movie! He also isn't afraid to tease the kid, unlike other members of the family. Knowing Damian can honestly be hard sometimes.

7. Comes back to the city when Bruce told him to get out.

During the I Am Bane arc of Tom King's Batman (I'm shuddering. So sorry for invoking his name!) Bruce tells the batboys to get out of Gotham and STAY out. the others are like 'we're not gonna listen, right?' and Duke is all 'you can't ignore BATMAN!' and walks off saying he's gonna listen to Bruce. This seems like pretty damning evidence, right? He's actually sane? The others got attacked by Bane and hung, but Duke didn't. Well, then you look at the next panel! (it takes place later in the volume) There he is, disobeying Bruce, and hanging out in Gotham. Not just that, he's out in costume! No, Duke couldn't just hunker down in an apartment, he had to go out and take down crooks, and warn Jim Gordon. I think that's pretty self-explanatory

8. Goes out while Injured

Those two panels are back-to-back in The Cursed Wheel (originally printed in All-Star Batman, later put into Batman and the Signal). As you can see, Bruce tells Duke to get rest. Duke was just attacked by Zsasz, and suffered multiple injuries. He wakes up, and the thing that would make the most sense would be for him to go to sleep, right? Well, he instead gets suited up and goes out to work on a case. Pretty much every bat has done this at some point. Not quite the smartest move, right? A touch reckless, wouldn’t you say?

9. That whole thing with Green Lantern

(sry for the weird sizing, I don’t have the comic to take screenshots) 

So there are two parts to this. First of, you have Green Lantern flying into the batcave, looking around, and there’s no Batman present. So what does Duke Do? Well, he certainly doesn’t stay back and contact Bruce! Nope, instead he attacks a member of the Justice League, a member of the Green Lantern Corp. Later on, you know what he says? He thought he would be fine because his suit is bright yellow. That’s it. A bit crazy, right?

Secondly, he gets roped into exploring the cave with Hal (I thinks it’s Hal, been a bit since I read this though). The Lantern has some thing going on about stuff in the cave, but that’s not important. What’s important is that Duke went along with it. He was curious enough to ignore what Bruce would say (Call him, yet anything remotely green out of the cave), and joins in! He does’t say “this is a bad idea” or “we shouldn’t be doing this” nope!

9. When he ran off with Cass to test his powers

Oh no, Duke got shadow powers! What’s he gonna go? Why, go off and have fun experiment of course! Duke and Cass head out to test and work on Duke’s newly presented abilities, and specifically don’t tell Bruce! This is information he would like to know, of course. It’s important to know if your newest protege gets more powers. But no, they go out of their way to sneakily test the extent of his powers. They get caught, of course, and then get chewed out (They get caught in costume, but the next panel they’re in civvies. I find that outrageously funny!). And here’s the kicker: they don’t really apologize! Sure, Duke gives a half-heart apology, but he doesn’t really mean it. Not even under the full extent of the Batglare™.

10. Rescuing Bruce with practically no training

I’ll skip all the plotty stuff, so just know that Bruce was out alone and in some deep doo-doo. Duke was back at the cave, working stuff out with Alfred. He realizes that what Bruce is doing is a trap. Now, just so you know, this is back when Duke was JUST taken in by Bruce. He doesn’t even have a codename yet! Barely any training. So you know what he does? He heads out anyway, and rescues Bruce. Now, check out that music he’s playing. Later on, it’s revealed to be Duke’s fave band. You know the name of that band? “Batman’s @^$&@” I’m not even joking. (I’m not sure what bleeped out, though later on it’s referred to as “Batman’s #$%” So I assume it’s ass?). So on top of being reckless, he plays a heavy metal band with a name that’s … special to say the least. He has guts, you gotta admit (Oh, and he seemed so gleeful when he told Bruce the name of the band!).

And there you have it! This list is far from complete, but I think it’s a good start. Feel free to reblog with your own, or any questions/comments! I absolutely love to talk about Duke, so don’’t be afraid to message me! Also, correct me if I wrote anything incorrect here. It’s been a while since I’ve read some of these, so I may have gotten some stuff wrong.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

First, I just want to say that I love reading your rants/head cannons/opinions. I find them VERY entertaining and true. Now, I read your opinions on James, Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I want to know what you think of Draco and Neville. I honestly think that Draco is an asshole, but I want to know exactly what you think. P.S. Can't wait for the next chapter of "When Harry Met Tom"

Well, at the very least, I’m glad I’m entertaining.

Now for Draco and Neville, interesting choices actually, I don’t usually spend much thought on those two. Never the less, let’s dive in and see what we find.

Draco Malfoy

There’s a lot of varying opinion on Draco Malfoy. In my long tenure of stalking the internet, fanfiction, and even more fanfiction I’ve found that in many cases he ceases to actually be a character but instead becomes this unholy agglomeration of tropes people like.

Seriously, Draco Malfoy isn’t even a person anymore. He’s leather pants.

What’s interesting to me is that it’s not even always the same tropes. Well, you tend to see the same ones bandied about, but it’s not even like characters like Tom Riddle or Hermione Granger where I can usually narrow it down to a few very precise characterizations you see everywhere. Draco’s all over the place.

You have bad boy Draco who’s varying levels of actually being bad boy so that we can use him instead of a young Tom Riddle. This is generally in stories where an author wants an antihero or else villain love interest, they like the Draco or bad boy aesthetic, but Tom Riddle is too spicy for Yog Sothoth. So Draco reminds us he’s evil a lot, he usually betrays our main love interest in a dramatic yet inevitable moment, but he’s not the purest of evil. He leaves the puppy beside the well and watches as Tom drowns it for him. Despite this the story will often pretend that Draco’s the most evil of evil to raise the stakes.

You have non-problematic Draco who suddenly was never a Death Eater, or perhaps his family was always filled with spies for the Order of the Phoenix, who only pretended to hate muggleborns and really has been on the good side this whole time! Alternately, Draco was on the bad side, but within two seconds of the fic he’s switched sides and we’re told it’s cool now because Draco understands. 

You have Sexy McLeatherPantsFace Draco who never left My Immortal but authors will claim, should you ask, that bisexual overly emotional Draco’s characterization is nothing like My Immortal’s and how dare you imply such things you swine! Really, his pervasive existence is why My Immortal is such a great satire. 

The list goes on but basically Draco’s whatever people need or want him to be to an absurd degree and it always makes me laugh. Oh Draco, what have they done to you? Are you even in there anymore?

Right, where do I land on Draco? Honestly, he’s a bit like Ron in that he has severe character flaws but he’s not goddamn insane like Harry or Hermione.

Mostly though, I just don’t take him seriously.

Throughout the book series he’s an ass, he’s that rich, elitist, entitled jackass that we all have run into at some point or another. He’s the kid who legitimately thinks ‘my father will hear about this’ is a threat and constantly abuses his relationship with Severus Snape just to show how cool he is ‘he practically makes Snape dish out punishment to Harry and Ron needlessly, and Snape is such a sad ridiculous man he actually goes along with it and panders to this brat’. 

Draco’s the kind of ridiculous fucking person who pretended to not have the use of his arm for months just so he could get Hagrid fired. When, honestly, Lucius still could have gotten Hagrid fired probably without Draco’s very non-compelling evidence. (Now, that said, I do believe Hagrid never should have had the job/should have been fired, but that’s a different story). And then, when he realized not having an arm kind of sucked, he was miraculously healed. 

Harry takes Draco and his rivalry very seriously because he’s also an adolescent, lacks perspective, and just isn’t that bright but Draco is fucking ridiculous and half the time he’s embarrassing himself. I mean, the guy buys his position onto the Slytherin team with an absurd amount of money, and he still loses matches to the Gryffindor team. Draco should never be living that down.

So, basically, I never at any point take Draco seriously. He’s just a kid with a big mouth who grew up in a very racist household and never has any idea what he’s talking about ever. He’s not inherently evil, not particularly good either, he’s just a kid who’s more obnoxious than your usual brand of kid.

I never imagined him particularly good looking (I believe his features are described as pinched or something), I never really saw the appeal in either making him more evil than he was or else redeeming him, he’s kind of the comic relief we all needed in our lives but is really there to keep the filler plot going to give Harry and the gang time to stew on the bigger Hogwarts mysteries. Without Draco what would we even do for hundreds of pages?

When it comes to book six he starts getting a little interesting in that his life completely falls apart but I think many fics paint him as far more self aware than he was. He knows his family is in deep trouble but I don’t think he realizes they’re being punished. I don’t think he realizes that Tom setting up camp in Casa Malfoy is a direct response to a) his failure with the diary b) his failure with the prophecy. Well, he might, but I imagine Lucius or Naricssa had to point it out to him. More, I think he genuinely believes he is meant to succeed in the task of assassinating Dumbledore.

He never realizes that Voldemort fully expects him to fail, that this task is just to essentially torture Draco for months, and when Draco does fail Voldemort will then murder him in front of Lucius saying, “AND THAT’S WHY WE DON’T SELL TOM RIDDLE’S THINGS!” This I think is evident in Draco accepting Bellatrix’s help, but not Snape, legitimately thinking that he has to achieve this on his own and that the Dark Lord has given him this Very Important Task (TM). 

Basically, Draco’s a kid over his head and doesn’t even realize he’s in over his head. More, I think even in book seven he still believes in the dark lord’s cause. It’s all become this weird madhouse but we don’t ever really see him come to grips that this is madness. It’s hard to tell because we’re from Harry’s perspective, but Draco never really seems all that unwilling of a Death Eater. Instead he’s very proud to have become one and sure, Hogwarts got a little weird, but that’s okay! 

In other words, I don’t think Draco ever really had that redemption arc people thought he did or hoped he would. Harry just saves his life, Narcissa is forever grateful to Harry, and then Draco continues to shuffle along in life perhaps in a daze wondering what even happened.

TL;DR Draco’s just a guy.

Neville Longbottom

Oh man, poor Neville, why is he even friends with the gang when they treat him like such garbage all the time? Neville’s kind of like the friend who’s sort of friends with this one social group but they constantly forget him except when it’s convenient to them. 

Not just forget him but brush him off, make fun of him, and barely speak with him.

Neville has no friends and it’s really just sad that he’s stuck with these people. 

As for Neville himself, he seems nice, that’s really all I have on him. We don’t see too much of him, his life is garbage from beginning to end (his relatives throw him out a goddamn window), he’s treated like trash by everyone and no one respects him but he still seems nice.

Not particularly interesting, but a nice enough kid who doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit all the time. That said, I guess somebody’s got to be Gryffindor comic relief and plot convenience, so it’s time for Neville to forget the passwords yet again and be left out all night because portraits suck.

[hrhbella]

Are You?

Pairing: Tom Riddle x OC [Isabella Rosier]

Word Count: 1.2k words

Summary: Someone(s) from Isabella's past appear in their future.

Warnings: N/A; [While other characters I have little to no grasp on (I.e. her brother, Evan Rosier, etc.), Isabella's existence in the Harry Potter Universe is entirely my own creation. I can show you the forethought of her, if you wish.

Author’s Note: This multi chapter work started its planning back in late 2019. Since I have sporadically wrote chapters in no particular order, but because of this I am thinking through changing a large aspect of my plot, which renders this posted edition (found here) of the work useless. Please enjoy, but reach out if you have time to help brainstorm and/or proof reader on an ongoing basis. Desperately want to put this idea onto paper in an orderly fashion. -B

------

December 1996

Isabella had been researching in the Rosier library for most of the morning when the yew doors swing open with poise, something that the patriarch of the family was not possessing as he storms into the Victorian-accented room,

“When in Godric’s name did you think it would be fitting to mention you were being shagged by my old schoolmate?" Mr. Rosier’s grip on the back of the settee opposite his daughter was stiff, the wood within creaking under the pressure.

“What?” Isabella murmurs, deep in concentration with the pages in front of her.

“Or was it you who persuaded him into being intimate?" Louis Rosier waves his own words away, pushing a hand through his greying hair, "Oh, of course not.” He watches impatiently as her slim finger follows a line in the tome.

“Rosier, I must ins-“ The young man whose gaze hadn't left Louis Rosier's daughter starts, though this only seems to animate the poorly veiled distressed look on the older man.

Paying no mind to her father, Isabella stumbles upon a most interesting passage: An underrated and forgotten hex is the Knee-Reversal hex. Developed prior to the year 1000, the Knee-Reversal hex has proved to be withstanding of the tests of time, though the same cannot be said of those on the receiving end. The incantation, Genu Transuerso, can be translated to-

Without looking up, Isabella reaches for her tea, “Have you been nursing that decanter of yours again? My, it’s only Tuesday, Papa.”

“Isabella Catherine Rosier!” Louis breathes deeply, “Are you or are you not copulating with the Dark Lord?"

His face flames a deep shade of scarlet and his left hand is itching to grab hold of his wand. He was slowly losing his patience, something that had become increasingly difficult over time, and now he was having a difficult time keeping his voice in check.

The remaining two young men, who have their eyes glued to the scene folding out in front of them, both attempt to swallow their anxiety. The thought of looking to the young man, the one they have just started to call the Dark Lord, between them seems to ping between them but both keep obedient eyes on the two Rosier's.

Isabella stills the tea with her other hand as the cup hovers over the book, though she is tracing the wand movements on the page with her eyes. “Papa, I only was allowed at a meeting just last-“

Louis wallops a vase and its plate off the hall table, gripping the settee’s edge with a new force. “Were you bumping uglies with Tom Riddle? Or are you still?”

The volume of his voice fills the vaulted room. Two of the young men flinch, though unnoticeable to anyone but their companion between them, and Isabella jerks her teacup causing a fair amount to slosh onto the diagram below.

“Shite! It simply is-“ Isabella started, though she still hasn't truly registered the words he's verbally hurling at her.

“It simply, what? You simply fell onto him? I know he is a fit young man, believe me, I am aware, but what possessed you to- to do it?” Louis rounds the back of the settee, putting a heavy hand onto its arm.

"Scourgify!" she harshly murmurs, waving her hand flippantly over the page while setting the cup away far from the various tomes stacked in front of her. “Really, Papa? I was under the impression you had more decorum than that.” Bumping uglies? Do it? Seriously, was he a second year?

“Did Malfoy put you up to this? We both know how low they have fallen but you mustn’t think that jumping onto Tom Riddle and-“

“Draco wouldn’t ever ask me to remedy a situation for him, do you even know the Malfoy’s, Papa? I can’t even believe you wou-" She slams one hand onto the tome, rattling everything on the cocktail table. The other shoots up to feel for the necklace hiding beneath her top. "Tom?”

Isabella’s head snaps towards her father, who seems to be physically forcing himself to take a breath in and push the air back out. Her cerulean eyes quickly fall onto the young men standing just within the threshold of the room. It takes reminding herself of all the years of formality her father and brother ingrained into her very soul to keep her mouth from meeting the carpet.

“Oh, Merlin’s beard,” Isabella breathes out.

“Yes. Merlin’s beard," Louis grinds out, forehead scrunching up, "You see, I was going to approve the monthly expenditures from Twilfitt and Tattings, Flourish and Blott’s, the likes.” He shoves a finger towards Isabella “I do have to discuss the ungodly amount spent at Cobb and Webb’s with you. But instead of an unoccupied office, I found myself digging through my desk. You must understand how this might have me bothered as not only I was already in my office, but as was Theodoros Nott and, as I am now aware you have been more than acquainted with, Tom Riddle.”

The pregnant pause that fills the library is heavier than a troll.

“Papa, this is not the best time to delve into this. It is quite a complicated circumstance.”

She steadily said, but her eyes kept darting from each of the men in front of her, not knowing where it was worse to look. She was starting to trace the outline of the metal beneath her top, letting the fibers rub into the pad of her finger.

“Oh, is it tea time?” Another vase shatters onto the floor, “Forgive me but I seem to be presenting more pressing matters." Louis locks his gaze with Isabella, willing her to show an ounce of remorse for him having to push through with this conversation. "Now, Bella darling. My only daughter. Are you having sex with Tom Riddle?”

Isabella can feel her mind starting to throb as she searches for something appropriate to say,

”Are you intimate with the Dark Lord?” Louis rasps out.

The rooms, walls, and chests inside of Isabella’s wits begin to crumble on themselves, leading to, by far, one of the most embarrassing responses she could think to give to her dear Papa.

“Evidently, yes.”

Louis Rosier could no longer hold himself up, collapsing onto the settee with a hand to his chest. His next words came out close to a whisper, “Merlin’s beard, Isabella.” He shoots a quick glance over his shoulder, “Do you know who he is?”

She stares into Tom Riddle’s deep chocolate eyes, “Yes, Papa.”

The two Rosiers seem to find anything but the other pulling their gaze until a voice sound from just in front of the door,

“Blimey, have I always been like this?” Sixteen-year-old Louis Rosier speaks up, glancing disapprovingly towards the aged wizard in front of them.

“Quite.” Theodoros Nott quips, eyes zipping towards Tom. One could never be too sure of what might prompt the young Dark Lord.

“And you most definitely have not gotten better with time, Rosier.” Tom watched the older Rosier pulling at his hair but turns his attention back towards Isabella with a charming smirk. "I apologize, Rosier. I am afraid I did not have time to owl ahead."

------

> If you wish to write a formal letter to Her Royal Highness, please do so here.

> If you wish to see Her Royal Highness’ completed list of works, please do so here.

> If you wish to see some of Her Royal Highness’ most frequently asked questions, please do so here.

[dwellordream]

For the ask game! “I apologize,” he finally says, through his teeth. “That was inappropriate. Your sister has nothing to do with this.”His apologies always gall her almost as much as his rudeness.“Don’t pretend like you actually mean that,” she says brusquely. “There’s no audience. It’s fine. Just be yourself.”“I am trying to be polite-,”“It doesn’t mean anything if you still think what you said-,”“I don’t think anything, I was just being cruel on purpose,” he snaps.

I think what I wanted to get across in this part, where Regulus has yet again said something insulting and then immediately apologized, is kind of the crux of his character. He’s not cold or calculating like Tom Riddle and he’s not really this jeering bully like Draco Malfoy.

That is, he can be cold and he’s very smart, but when he says something hurtful it is usually because he lost his temper and spoke impulsively, not because he’s being manipulative or playing mind games.

One thing I wanted Regulus and Sirius to have in common is that they both have nasty tempers and they both are good at identifying someone’s weak spots and firing all lasers at that.

On the other hand they both often regret later what they said or did, and are then in the awkward position of trying to apologize for it. Regulus maybe moreso than Sirius because he prides himself on being composed and well mannered and doesn’t like to just pretend things didn’t happen.

So here we have Charity saying something that aggravates Regulus, so in response he brings up her sister in an insulting manner and basically implies Joey is a slut, knowing this will really upset Charity. A few moments later he feels some regret and realizes he overreacted, so he tries to apologize.

As Charity rightly points out, she doesn’t know if he’s apologizing because he actually feels bad or just to smooth things over between them. But she is surprised when Regulus pretty bluntly admits that he doesn’t actually think any of that about her sister, he just said it to hurt her because he knew her sister was a sore subject for her.

Which I think is very interesting, because other people would have just lied and been like ‘I was just kidding, you took it too seriously’ or been like ‘now you’re overreacting, it’s not a big deal’.

Anyways none of that excuses him being quite rude to Charity, though she is capable of giving as good as she gets once she’s really pissed off.

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Cursed Child Could’ve Been Better and Here’s Why:

Part 1?

Hate the Cursed Child. The play is a good play on its own but it doesn’t match up with Harry Potter as much as it should’ve, we all know this. But I want to present some ideas on why Delphini COULD have been the coolest villain ever and how she could work (plus a few extra improvements over all):

Main point against her is that Voldy couldn’t have children cause he split his soul. How about this: he could have children, but they end up having a fractured soul as well. They are sickly beings.

With the live potion conception, or as I like to call it “Merope r@ping Tom Riddle”: because of the love potion conception Voldy couldn’t feel love. That could work for Delphi too except to a less degree because she was most likely made from consent (Bellatrix would obviously say HELL YES and she definitely couldn’t sneak one on Voldy). She could still not understand love but she can kind of feel platonic/familial love, again, still not being able to understand it which can cause her to become overwhelmed and set up some sympathetic and angsty scenes for her

Voldy would never do the do, ever: Maybe not, but let’s remember that this is just fanfiction from two guys that JK signed off on. I could see him having a kid on the rarest occasion though. Having children only builds his future empire and if he still hasn’t won the wizarding world by the time they can do decent magic he’s at least got himself a new recruit. Plus we know and he knows that he’s strong, his magic is strong. Bellatrix’s magic is strong. This guy is basically magical H1tler so he is probably down for some experimentation between two very powerful wizards. And having a baby while in the middle of a war isn’t that far off. Literally every person in Harry’s year was born during a year when Voldy was obviously winning. And to have a child during the war as a safe goat isn’t a bad idea for someone like Voldy. Yes he is prideful and thinks that no one can defeat him but it was only a few years after he came back. Harry still defeated him as a baby through powers unknown to him. He may think he’s the best but there had to be at least one seed of doubt in his mind.

“What about the story? It’s trash, and Delphi only makes it worse!” I hear you say. Well here are some improvements I’ve thought of:

1. No time turners. JK specifically destroyed them for plot hole reasons. Cursed Child is a plot hole in itself while using them

2. Have it center around Delphi rebuilding her fathers empire instead of trying to bring him back. If Delphi is anything like her father then she’s smart enough to know that time travel only complicates things

3. Because of the live thing I mentioned before, have Delphi have some feelings. Yes her father couldn’t live and her mother was crazy, go off of that. Have her find out how dysfunctional they both were and have her ask herself “if they were so insane and failed, is it really smart for me to be doing this?” Have her feel something towards Albus and Scorpius, a sisterly feeling towards them. Have them convince her in the end that what she’s doing is wrong and have her completely brake down. Make her a relatable human being that just wants to make her parents proud because that was the only reason for her to be brought to that Earth.

4. Make it a book. Listen, having it as a play is fine but having it as a book first I feel fleshes out that characters more and then when we really know them we could have a play. Most plays are based off of books or movies because they want to see the characters break down in song or have the conversations in front of them but if you want to make the Harry Potter fans happy than please make it a book first. It doesn’t even need to be a series.

5. Let Harry be a loving father. Seriously. How could they mess this up? He was an abused child by his only guardians after his parents died. There’s no way in hell he’s gonna say something bad and then not immediately take it back. It’s ok to make him have mistakes and misunderstandings as a parent, after all they’re probably still suffering tons of trauma after 19 years, but to not have him feel sorry right at that moment is an insult to Harry and what he went through.

6. Keep Draco’s redemption arc. It was actually good. Probably the best thing in the play.

7. Show how the world is crumbling under Delphi’s destruction. Don’t go to alternate realities to show it, cause we know that they haven’t happened yet and can be fixed. It creates more tension because how is this going to be fixed? They’ve probably just finished making everything alright in the wizarding world and now it all goes to shit again. Show the desperation in the characters. Their want to get things right again. Not just some “oh no this is terrible! We have to fix it!” Type of stuff. That’s why a book is the best format, you can show these tiny details.

8. Stop the queer baiting.

9. Show how the older characters are still suffering from their trauma, in different degrees, and how they deal with that while taking care of children. Show them trying not to have ptsd flashbacks or panic attacks in front of their children, show it actually happening.

10. Don’t have Rose be a total asshole. Have her be a bit wary around Scorpius but ultimately trusting him because she trusts her cousins decision. Have have be the new Golden trip but in their own ways. Mesh the original trios ways into their own: Albus has the brave leader (like Harry), Scorpius as the heart but has still got plenty of brain (mesh of Ron and hermione), and have Rose be another strong and brave leader while also being a bit of the heart too. (Which can cause some tension between her and Albus cause they both want to lead). Also mesh some of the other characters too. Scorpius can be like Neville, unsure of himself and how brave he can be but having a moment of confidence where he knows he’s capable. Have Albus be be as open minded and spirited as Luna, let him have moments where people look at him weird for some less than logical ideas but him not caring. Have Rose be as competitive and fiery as her aunt, Ginny, don’t make her be snobbish but let her have a temper that makes people say “wow!�� instead of rolling their eyes in annoyance. However these characters are portrayed, let them be similar to the multitude of trios in the second generation, but different enough that they are their own people.

That’s all I have for now. Please tell me any other ideas or critiques, I know there is a lot more. I genuinely think that they could’ve had the character of Delphini and made it work but they just made her a Great Value version of her father who uses unconventional methods of getting him back. I honestly loved the character of Delphini when I first read the script and I still do, she just needs to be fleshed out more and have a better story. Also having her be sick as a part of being birthed from a guy that had barely any soul could be and interesting plot point too. Her being unsure coupled with the fact that it’s hard for her to even live normally could contribute to the fact that she can’t keep on fighting anymore. Anyways, thanks for reading this, I know it’s long. And please tell me your thoughts!

[vivithefolle]

Hey there! Can you tell me what's your opinion about Giny in HBP because I really hated what JKR did to her character. Until GOF she was a caring sister that understands alot about Rons sensitivities and then she turns into a person that completely ignores her brother feelings. Her attitude toward him at HBP is aggressive and disrespectful from the beginning. She wants to prove that she is not a child but she is acting like one in many occasions, she tripped Ron in front of the entire family because he wanted a kiss from Fleur and then she virgin shamed him in front of Harry when he called her out for snogging Dean which it wasn't cool but still damn you can't just throw salt to your brothers wounds like that. There was no remorse for the mess she created from that. Generally she showed 0 sympathy for Ron and just never took him seriously through the entire book. He is her brother, she defently loves him but she just did her best not to show him and the poor guy seemed he couldn't give her the cold shoulder not even for a day, he was just worried for his little sister. Anyway maybe all this is in my head but after reading HBP again I just felt angry and sad. Take care!

English is not my first language I hope there are not to many mistakes up there😔

Don’t worry, your English is great!

I am also salty at the way Ginny treated Ron in HBP, I find it... just, really annoying how HBP is basically the giant “let’s all shit on Ron” parade. Even Harry wasn’t spared - yes, he does the awesome Felix Felicis fake-out that proves just how much he believes in Ron, he’s got times where he tries to bolster Ron’s spirits and confidence and is generally much more concerned about Ron’s feelings than he was in Book 5, but... well, he still saw Ron as being unreasonable when Ron was angry about Hermione’s canary attack... like kinda fuck you Harry?

But yeah Ginny in HBP was generally... ugh.

I’m gonna copy-paste a bit of my Quora answer about that:

My own explanation for the deterioration of Ron and Ginny’s relationship is that Tom Riddle planted the seeds for it.

He pretended to be Ginny’s friend at first, and of course Ginny would complain or gush about her family to her new friend. Things like “Percy keeps babying me but I’m not a child anymore!” or “Ron and I have always teamed up against Fred and George!” or “Ron is friends with Harry Potter, can you imagine?”, and Tom would catch on quickly and realize that to keep Ginny talking about Harry, he first has to bring up Ron more, then subtly present Harry as the more interesting thing to talk about.

In other words, Tom Riddle would have acted like a typical Harmonian (full offense xoxo).

“Oh, he told you he was too busy doing homework? That’s not very nice. I know the Hogwarts curriculum is heavy, but one should always take time for family. Think of how Harry Potter must feel, not having a family of his own. Your brother seems quite ungrateful to me, not knowing to appreciate what he has. But I suppose I wouldn’t know, seeing as I was an orphan myself…”

And little by little, Tom Riddle sowed those into Ginny’s psyche, and just because Tom died doesn’t mean that his influence on Ginny was gone.

Tom Riddle’s possession of Ginny would also leave traces on Ron - he’d feel horribly guilty for not paying enough attention to her, for not having known, for not realizing it sooner. So when Ginny starts dating boys, Ron is actively remembering what happened with Tom Riddle - he’s immediately on edge. Given that Ginny dates guys that are all older than her, Ron is probably even more worried.

And it all culminates with HBP, where Ginny acts a lot more spiteful to Ron for seemingly no reason at all - because he’s the last one of her brothers at Hogwarts. Fred and George are gone and won’t interfere with Ginny’s love life anymore - and we can suppose they did, because George says “size is no indication of power - look at Ginny”, as if he was speaking from experience - so Ron is the one last “threat” to deal with. Ginny doesn’t consider Ron a threat, far from it, but she seeks to emancipate herself. As the one last Weasley brother at Hogwarts, Ron is inherently in a position of authority when it comes to Ginny. And Ginny, like any rebellious teen trying to find themselves, wants to break free from authority figures.

It’s a conflict from both sides - Ginny isn’t the only one to blame, though I despise it when people try to pin it on “Ron being a misogynist”. Ron feared for his little sister’s safety, because he remembers all too well what happened the last time she trusted a boy older than her… and being a teenage boy and not having the maturity of a fully-grown adult, he can’t express that in the best way.

[365days365movies]

March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (1977) (Part 1)

In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit.

When I was 9, my school let us read a very special book, originally meant for kids, but beloved by everyone. My folks and I went to Borders Books (FUCK ME, I miss Borders), and we got an illustrated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. I can’t find that book, but if I ever find it again, Imma buy it IMMEDIATELY, I tell you what. And...oh shit, it’s on Amazon for $12? 

Well. I just made that purchase, I guess. But yeah, I loved that book when I was a kid, and this was during the same year that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy began, with Fellowship, of course. And I wouldn’t end up watching those until a few years later, but I loved those too when I saw them. And I’ve NEVER seen the abridged version, by the way, I’ve only ever seen the extended editions.

Although, I can’t call myself a hardcore fan. I’ve never read the Silmarillion, for example. Although, weirdly, I wanted it as a kid at some point, so I was almost there. But no, I ended up getting into comic books hardcore instead, so I can’t tell you the history of Tom Bombadil, but I can tell you about at least one of the fuckin’ 87 tieles that the Legion of Super-Heroes has been involved in. I’m not gonna like it though.

...Yes, I will, who am I kidding, I love the Legion. Anyway, I’ve still always been a fan of the franchise, and I was extremely excited when Jackson announced that he’d be doing an adaptation of The Hobbit! Seriously, I WAS FUCKING PUMPED, you have no idea. I re-read the book, I was super-excited...and then Harry Potter changed EVERYTHING. Kind of.

See, Harry Potter’s development as a two films made from one book seemed to kick off a trend. Breaking Dawn and Mockingjay are the two that immediately come to mind, as does this film. However, to be fair...that’s probably a coincidence. Yeah, this film was originally developed as two parts, WAY before Deathly Hallows got that treatment. And even then, Jackson and Del Toro had difficulty breaking it up into two parts, and three ended up being easier. Still...the change from two-to-three does feel a little connected to that trend.

Anyway, in celebration of that decision, I’m gonna break this review into three parts! Yes. Really. I want to see if it works. And so, let’s talk about the other most famous adaptation of this book by talking about its creators.

Yup. Rankin-Bass did 2D-animated cartoons, too! And this was one of their most famous ones, dating back to 1977. But wait! There’s more! This was followed by Ralph Bakshi’s version of Lord of the Rings by a different studio. You know, this one?

Yeah, that one. It was only based on the first two books, Fellowship and Towers. But it was technically unconnected to the Rankin-Bass version. Which is why it was REALLY weird when Rankin-Bass came out with an adaptation of the third book, Return of the King, right afterwards!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Because both of Rankin-Bass’ specials were animated by a Japanese studio called Topcraft, who’d actually worked with Rankin-Bass for years. But then, they went bankrupt a few years later, and was bought by Isao Takahata, Toshio Suzuki, and...Hayao Miyazaki. And it was renamed as...

So, this is a Hobbit adaptation produced by the Rudolph people and animated by the people who would eventually become Studio Ghibli. Well, uh...holy fucking shit. Let’s DO THIS BABY. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/3)

As we’re wont to do in this story, we head to Hobbiton in the Shire, where we meet Bilbo Baggins (Orson Bean). A simple Hobbit in a simple home, with a happy and simple life. But one day, he’s approached by Gandalf (John Huston), who seeks a burglar to help with the mission of a group of dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield (Hans Conried).

We also immediately start off with two songs from the original book, and I have to say that I like them a but better in the Jackson movies, but they’re still well performed here. Anyway, after dinner, the true goal of their quest is given. Beneath Lonely Mountain, the ancestral home of the Dwarves, there was a kingdom ruled by the King Under the Mountain, Thorin’s grandfather.

Through reading the lyrics of the song “Far over the Misty Mountains,” Thorin tells the tale of the takeover of the Dwarves’ great golden hoard by the dragon Smaug. Bilbo is tasked to help the Dwarves steal back the treasure stolen from them. And, while he’s extremely reluctant to be a part of all this, Gandalf basically forces him to, the pushy bastard. And Bilbo’s Greatest Adventure now lies ahead!

Speaking of, here’s the song “The Greatest Adventure”, sung by Glenn Yarborough, who is the living personification of vibrato. Fuckin’ seriously, this guy’s voice is ridiculous, but I love it so much. As the night passes underneath Glenn Yarborough’s hypnotically shaky voice, and uncertain, Bilbo stares out at the moon. Once it’s over, we’re on our way to the Misty Mountains.

Bilbo’s having a tough time with the long journey and rough weather, and it doesn’t get much better when they encounter a trio of trolls. They send out Bilbo to try and steal some mutton from them, but he’s IMMEDIATELY a failure, and also manages to tell the trolls that the dwarves are present. Nice one, Bilbo. The trolls catch all of the dwarves, although Bilbo manages to escape. 

The trolls argue about how to cook the dwarves, but before they get to do anything, Gandalf shows up and summons the dawn, turning the trolls into stone and saving the dwarves. While they’re initially quite frustrated by Bilbo’s failure, he makes it up by discovering a horde of goods and weapons stolen by the trolls. This is also where Bilbo gets his classic weapon, Sting.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard that he is, suddenly reveals a map that he’s kept secret from Thorin, its rightful owner. Bilbo, a classic cartomaniac, is able to interpret the map. But there are also runes that they can’t quite read. And so, Gandalf brings them to his friend, Elrond (), who’s wearing a sick-ass glittery tiara that’s hovering off his head. How come Hugo Weaving didn’t have that?

Anyway, Elrond identifies the swords that Thorin and Gandalf grabbed as Orcrist, the Goblin-Cleaver and Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, because FUCK YEAH, BABY, those are some fuckin’ NAMES! WHOOOOOO!

Anyway, he also points them in the direction of the mountain, and shows them hidden features to the map. They head through the mountains after this, and rest in a cave. Unfortunately, this cave is on Goblin territory, and the group (sans Gandalf, who’s disappeared to make out with Cate Blanchett or whatever) is quickly ambushed by a group of now-horned Goblins, who chant their song as they go “Down, Down, to Goblin-Town”. Which is a song that I love, unironically. It compels me to sing along.

The Goblins nearly kill them when they discover Orcrist in Thorin’s possession, but they’re saved by the sudden appearance of Gandalf with the glowing sword Glamdring. He kills the Great Goblin, and the group run out with the Goblins in hot pursuit. Well, except for Bilbo.

Yeah, Bilbo falls into a cavern below the mountain, and the dwarves think him gone for good. However, he’s miraculously safe on the ground, having landed in an underground aquifer, in which lives THE GREATEST CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE-EARTH FRANCHISE FUCKIN’ AT ME I DARE YOU

And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about the film version only, I’m talking about Gollum/Smeagol in general. Granted, I don’t want a film starring him or anything (coughCruellacoughcoughMaleficentcoughcoughClaricecoughcough), but I love this dissociative little dude so much. He’s one of my favorite fantasy characters in general, and is also maybe the best example of a sympathetic villain, in film at least.

OK, to be fair, I love Andy Serkis’ version of the character a LOT, like a LOT a lot, and it’s a great version of the character. OK, so what do I think of this version? He’s...interesting, actually. If I’m honest, I kinda like him. This is similar to how I always pictured Gollum when I was a kid.

I mean, listen to this description from the book, yeah?

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don't know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum - as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face...He was looking out of his pale lamp-like eyes for blind fish, which he grabbed with his long fingers as quick as thinking.

I dunno, that does sound more like this version of Gollum to me, just saying. Anyway, while Gollum is off fishing in the water, Bilbo gets up on the shore, where he finds a little golden ring Not important, just a ring, definitely means nothing at all, NOTHING AT ALL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The hungry Gollum (Brother Theodore) happens upon Bilbo, precious, wonders if Bilbo would taste good, and is basically about to kill him for his sweet hobbit meat, before Bilbo takes out Sting. Now afraid, Gollum offers a game of riddles. The two make a deal: if Bilbo wins at a game of riddles, Gollum will show him the  way out. But if Gollum wins, precious will eat him raaaaaaaw and wrrrrrrrrrriggling!

The riddles commence, in a super-fuckin’-classic moment, and also ends with maybe the most bullshit moment in all of fantasy lore. After clever riddles with answers involving eggs, wind, and time, Bilbo’s last riddle is “What’s in my pocket?” The fuck, Bilbo, that’s absolute BULLSHIT!

Not that it matters. Bilbo wins, but Gollum goes to find his ring to show it to Bilbo before he takes him away. Thing is, though, that’s what was in Bilbo’s pocket, which Gollum quickly figures out, my precious. He’s about to kill Bilbo to get back his birthday present, precious, but Bilbo discovers the secret trick of the ring: it turns the wearer invisible, AND THAT WILL NEVER BE A BAD THING EVER.

Gollum thinks that Bilbo’s escaped and runs after him toward the exit. This, of course, leads Bilbo towards the exit inadvertently, and he follows Gollum, then jumps over him to get back. To which Gollum screams the following:

Thief! Thief! Baggins! We hates it! Hates it! Forever!

I hear you, buddy. I hear you. Well, once Bilbo escapes, he reconvenes with the rest, and shares his adventure in the cave, but leaves out the ring. And Gandalf seems to know, based on his dialogue. And I checked, and he figured it out in the book and Jackson movie, too. And I gotta say...WHAT THE FUCK GANDALF

I mean...DUDE. CHECK UP on that shit. Do you wizard job, man! If you’d been like, “Dude...you didn’t find a magic ring that turns you invisible, ight, because we’re FUCKED if you did”, NONE OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS WOULD’VE HAPPENED, AND BOROMIR WOULD STILL BE ALIVE

Everybody talks about the fuckin’ eagles, but WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYONE MENTION THIS SHIT? Gandalf the Grey: Middle-Earth’s most irresponsible asshole, I swear...

This seems like a good place to pause, actually. See you in the next part!

[livlepretre]

This may sound seriously weird but I've always felt that if Tom riddle was in a relationship with anyone it would be the same sort of relationship that Klaus has with Elena. In my head he'd always be persuing that person for some ulterior motive but in the end is drawn to her? I've always been fascinated by the parallels between klaus and Tom, they are both lonely people. Tom riddle is excellent at maintaining facades though. I've wondered if you ever took inspiration from other characters?

Oh, agreed. I mean, it’s no accident that one of my main ships that I ship with the power of a thousand burning suns is tomione?? It’s like we have a type. I just... really really really love cat and mouse relationships, where basically there should be a power imbalance and maybe at first there is, but basically the scheming nature of the other half of the ship (usually of the heroine) ends up completely turning the tables. I’m also a sucker for complicated, unhealthy, and challenging relationships-- it’s interesting to play with ideas of morality and corruption, as well as the long road to redemption. 

I’m not certain what you mean about taking inspiration from other characters-- like, when writing the characters in my fics? Because I definitely lift from the books I read (literally, every book mentioned by name in FE is a book that’s a direct influence on the fic) and from the really great fics I’ve read over the years. There are times when I feel a little unstable because things will be going DARK and I’m like, okay, basically just rewriting Persuasion, cool cool cool cool cool. When in doubt, though, I always go straight to the source material. Elena and Klaus are both WILD in that they just don’t have any lines they refuse to cross, and we see that in the show over and over again. Also, there are plenty of times I realize they are being way too passive, so I rewrite a lot from the perspective of: how can this be more dramatic? How can they take control of what’s happening to them? 

Hope that answers your question! 

[emmettspeakz]

Best Starkid Character in every musical (these cannot be argued, they’re my favs)

AVPM: Voldemort 

Even before my obsession with the amazing actor boy that is Joe Walker, watching the Quirrelmort scenes, especially Voldemort’s lines, would make me laugh non-stop to the point where I would have to pause the video to laugh for a good thirty seconds before continuing to watch. 

Me and My Dick: Joey Richter

This was a bit more difficult, as none of the characters really stood out to me. But I think just freaking Joey’s whole scene in the choir room got me good.  Dick and Sally are close seconds. 

AVPS: Lupin 

I freaking LOVED Brian Holden’s portrayal of Lupin in this one. I thought it was super creative and fun and also his dynamic with Snape had me cackling. I loved the emotional depth of Sirius too, so it was hard to pick between Lupin and Sirius, but Lupin’s constant thing about how he was actually best friends with James Potter and his insecurity when the students said he can’t sing was too funny not to love. 

AVPSY: Tom Riddle

Yeah, yeah another Joe Walker one, but I seriously loved Joe Walker playing a young Voldemort in this one more than him playing actual Voldemort because he just completely embodies the role and is legit the embodiment of sunshine as this character and dances so adorably and I think playing Tom Riddle brought out his inner cuteness. 

Trail to Oregon: Craphole

Probably in the minority here, but I CAN’T STAND this musical. I loved wagon on fire, I loved the acting but I just couldn’t get with the plot at all, it just wasn’t that interesting to me. That being said, I LOVED every single line that Craphole had and Mouthface was a pretty good contender as well for my favorite character, but just everything Craphole did was so chaotic and it killed me every single time. 

Ani: Obi Wan Kenobi by the wonderful NICK FUCKING LANG

The idea of Obi Wan as a drunk making fun of the prequels? CLASSIC. ICONIC, SHOWSTOPPING, WONDERFUL, AMAZING. Nick Lang, you need to act again buddy, I loved you so much in this role, even more than Mama Umbridge or Robin from Holy Musical B@man. He’s just always drunk and dealing with so much drama he doesn’t want to have to deal with and he’s just so fucking funny man oh my god.

Holy Musical B@man: Batman

Yeah, yeah obvious answer, but c’mon, at least for this one, this was really fucking hard. I LOVED Nick Lang as Robin and Brian Holden as Superman, but the iconic scream Joe does as Batman and also just the great lines he gets like “Batman loves the circus” and “you took my hopes and dreams and mugged and shot them in an alleyway” as well as the way Joe says “mama and papa” and the live version of the lyric “bruised and black” where his voice cracks never ceases to make me laugh when I listen to it. This is currently my favorite character that Joe Walker plays, so it had to also be my favorite character from Batman, I mean seriously there’s no contest.

Starship: TAZ 100%

Lauren Lopez is a fucking gem in this one, what else do I have to say? She never breaks character or her accent (as far as I can tell) and she plays such a badass character so fucking well oh my god. I wonder how long it took her to get in and out of character ‘cause it was just SO GOOD.

Twisted: Achmed

Achmed is a tiger fucker, need I say more? Okay yeah more Joe Walker but I can’t help that he plays fucking iconic roles okay? Just absolutely amazing. His line about bathing him with your tongue was hilarious. I’m still not over it. 

Firebringer: Ducker

Yes, another Joe Walker character. But hear me out: just him harassing Jemilla got me so much. The line “Jemilla...YOU DON’T HAVE THE GUTS” c’mon, tell me that wasn’t perfectly executed! And his reactions to the duck leaving him and losing his privilege and his “duck is lord” song was iconic, okay? Enough said. 

TGWDLM: Paul

Kind of a generic answer, but this was the first Starkid musical I saw, and I’ve always been a person to love the main-main character, especially one who was so sassy with his co-workers and so brutally honest with them, even though it was clear that they were almost used to the banter and didn’t unfriend him for it. I freaking loved the little scene Jon did here with Paul and Emma about to kiss and then he got blood on his face and ran away going “BYEEEEE”. The total awkwardness is GOLD. 

Black Friday: Ethan Greene

WE WERE ROBBED. I LOVED ETHAN GREENE AND HE DESERVED TO MAKE IT TO CALIFORNIA I’M FUCKING PISSED Y’ALL. Also the bad Ethan Greene scene was fucking scary AF but I loved seeing another side of Ethan in it. Plus Robert Manion is a god damn treasure, that’s all I have to say about that. 

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey, hope you’re doing well and staying sane! It’s been a year and one week since my city went into lockdown mode and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Question regarding your wonderfully zany HP fics - I’m a personal fan of “When Harry...” and “October” - have you ever considered an AU where Tom was the one born a girl, or would the crushing patriarchy of the 1940s Muggle Britain and the Wizarding World (witches must have babies!) in general doom that sort of premise?

You ask a very interesting question.

I’ve dithered with this idea off and on but I’ve always concluded it’d be such an overwhelming task that it invariably gets set to the side.

Because I think it’s highly likely that a female Tom Riddle would not have become Voldemort. Or, at least, not as we know him.

So here’s some general thoughts.

Female Tom Riddle’s Name Would Not Be Derivative of Tom

I imagine that Merope, dying on the orphanage floor, would still blindly name her son Tom Marvolo Riddle, after his father and her father, nevermind that the child is a girl.

Now, Mrs. Cole is a harsh woman with a difficult job, but I imagine she’s not needlessly cruel to infants. She’s not going to name this poor girl “Tom Marvolo” even if it is her mother’s dying wish. 

I imagine, as a result, Tom ends up with a very normal, English, girl’s name like Susan, Elizabeth, Jane, Victoria, etc. (We’ll go with Susan so I can just keep a consistent name for the rest of this post). 

This of course means right away that, even if Lord Voldemort does happen he’s not called Lord Voldemort, because Tom’s name isn’t Tom and we don’t get the same anagram.

As I’m terrible at anagrams, personally, one of you can look at Susan Elizabeth Riddle and tell me what you come up with.

Susan’s Antichrist Orphan Years

I doubt Susan’s antichrist years would have been quite the same as Tom’s. She probably won’t be getting in the same kind of physical scraps every other day of the week. That said, I’m sure she’s a hellion on wheels and just as if not more psychologically vicious than Tom ever was. Girls can be mean and I imagine Susan lets this fly.

She may also end up being more careful, though, than Tom was. Although she’s  a little girl and witches are traditionally women, that may make it less easy to spot, she’s a very pretty thing and probably very charming.

I think, for example, Dumbledore’s misogyny will work against him. Tom Riddle he recognized as an immediate threat, I’m sure Susan will just remind him of Arianna (who suffered similar outbursts, had a similar impoverished upbringing, and Dumbledore just never takes women seriously). 

He’d still be disapproving when she gets sorted into Slytherin but we’d likely see him react to that in the manner he interacts with Leta Lestrange in Crimes of Grindelwald: where he just lectures to her about what a shame it is she has traveled down this path of Slytherinhood and she can still be saved.

As a result, and this is where things go haywire in my head, Susan will likely not have the same antagonistic relationship with Dumbledore. Oh, I think she likely loathes him entirely for looking down on her, but I don’t think he’d light her wardrobe on fire for example. I also don’t know if she’d make the parseltongue reveal.

Hogwarts

Given what we do see of sexism among the purebloods (it seems like a very patriarchical society) I imagine that Susan is treated a lot more like, say, Lily Evans. She’s brilliant, but never acknowledged as the most brilliant student in Hogwarts, always as the most brilliant witch and then compared to her male peers who are in fact far dumber than she is.

Slughorn probably still loves her, but no matter what she does, Malfoy will always be treated as better than she is.

This, combined with her effectively being muggleborn, I’m sure makes for a very angry Susan. However, I don’t know if she’d let loose the basilisk.

To me, that always screamed a nervous breakdown and existential crisis on Tom Riddle’s part. He finally finds the truth, that he is in fact the heir of this great family legacy, and it doesn’t matter at all.

Susan faces not only the issues over her blood but also that she is a woman. So, I think in that, she might not open the chamber of secrets. Instead she’d just be even angrier that she’s the heir of Slytherin but knows damn well the man himself would never acknowledge her because she’s a woman.

Post Hogwarts

I imagine that Susan would not be able to find employment where even Tom was able to. She might, that said, be able to get the Defense (or perhaps Muggle Studies, I’m sorry I can’t help it) position as Dumbledore wouldn’t be actively working against her. In this position I imagine she’d sit and stew for a long time, trying to decide what it is she wants to do here and knowing this isn’t quite it.

If she wants to climb into power, I imagine she’d have to do so through marriage, and the likely candidate for that is Alphard Black, who never otherwise married. I always pictured Alphard was very likely gay, and I imagine Susan would figure that out, and act as his beard and help (somewhat) appease his family. They probably aren’t thrilled he married a muggleborn.

She then pushes Alphard to run for minister, essentially makes herself Eva Peron, and fabulouses her way into power and before we all know it Susan is essentially minister and how do you like them apples, Malfoy?!

If she dreams up a Lord Voldemort persona... I am not sure she would, given everything. But if she did, I think she’d realize that Lord Voldemort is a man, not a woman, and would cross dress. The pureblood aristocracy, despite respecting figures like Morgan le Fey, would never follow a woman’s revolution. This would make things very awkward when Bellatrix Black starts hitting on her.

I imagine Dumbledore would never quite figure out who Voldemort is either, because it could never occur to him that it was sad little Susan Riddle. And Harry of course would be floored that it’s a woman.

But, again, I don’t think the Voldemort future as we know it from canon would be all that likely to happen. 

Ships

That said, I’m not sure why since I consider Tom Riddle bisexual, but I imagine Susan is a raging lesbian. No real reason, except perhaps that I don’t think she could abide being romantically entangled with someone who had a natural superior position to society than she did. Which means of course if I ever wrote this it’d turn into femslash Lily Evans/Susan Riddle somehow.  

Because that’s what I do.

Conclusion

But yes, the long and short is I have thoughts, but once I get thinking about it I go “whoa, we’re getting far from our source material here” and decide to focus back on what I’m writing right now.

It’s an interesting thought experiment but one that would yield not only an entirely different character but an entirely different world. 

[popculturebuffet]

Prince of Wishful Thinking: A Tom Lucitor Retrospective and Character Study: Part 1: Firey Little Shit

Star Vs the Forces of Evil is a .. complicated subject for me. When it started it was somewhat hit and miss but the premise was intresting: Star Butterfly is a magical princess, having just got her families ancestral wand.. and a few days later, or a jumpcut in the actual episode later materials revealed the actual time span, sets everything on fire and is sent to earth. There she meets best friend and, to my delight that eventually turned into “OH GOD JUST END THIS WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY SHIT ALREADY” I haven’t seen since the likes of Ross and Rachel that warrants it’s own damn article, and gets into various shenanigans while battling a gang of “monsters”, a general term for most non-mewmans  on Mewni, lead by a spoiled king, Ludo, who wants the wand. 

Things got turned on their head quickly, as “Mewnipendance Day’ revealed that the Mewmans (Humans in all but name really) took mewni by force, using magic to cast the monsters into poverty, which as the series and “Magic Book of Spells” would reveal, caused a cycle of death and bloodshed with no defendants. It changed the show for the better, as the plot, while heavy handed is a necessary one given these prejduice filled times we live in and how well it’s crafted. And it’s into the show slowly coming into it’s own a new character was introduced: He had been announced by the crew in the show’s press junket was in the title but took most of season 1 to show up... and he’d end up being one of the sho’ws saving graces as it dived into bullshit and go through one of the most through character arcs of the show. HIs name was Tom Lucitor, Star’s obsessive demon Ex-Boyfriend, and this is his story.

THE MAGIC BOOK OF SPELLS

Before we get there though, we have to take at rip down side material mountain... this time to the Magical Book of Spells. The Book of Spells was a real life verison of a book we’d seen in the show itself that recorded the previous queens of Mewni’s spells and held Glossarcyk, a magical being who assited the queens throughout the decades. The real version was used to tell each of the Queens, even the three we see on screen’s stories.. star included. As such it not only gives us some, if sadly not enough, more of his actual relationship with star pre-series, but also the full background on his kingdom’s relationship with hers. See while the Butterflies control the majority of mewni, their Kingdom isn’t endless and there are half a dozen others, most of which aren’t really that fleshed out. But The Lucitor’s are somewhat of an exception: The Lucitors rule the underworld, basically Mewni’s hell where all sorts of skeletons, demons and ghouls exist. You know funny little ghouls. 

I had to. Anyways the Lucitor kingdom also has Mewmans, due to some demons kidnapping a bunch years ago. Whoops.

Despite you know, kidnapping a bunch of their people, the Lucitors and Butterflies ended up close allies. This is thanks to the efforts of Mewni’s ambassador, Jushtin who was supposed to be Mewni’s first King to wield the wand... but his mom was pressured into having a sister. Said sister Solaria, to not mince words, was a genocidal monster who slowly descended into madness and tried to kill all monsters declaring outright war on them, but things were tense at first and they needed allies. So the Lucitors, along with the Cloud Kingdom of the Pony Heads which are exactly what they sound like, helped turn the tide. So things were cool for a few decades, and then we get to the reign of Rhina the Riddled. Rhina, who the book all but says is aromantic and likely asexual as well, was shoved into an arranged marriage with John Roachely, a second cousin who had no impact on the Lucitor side of the Genepool whatsoever and thus Star and Tom aren’t really related at all. I bring this up only because if I don’t tackle the incest allegations, someone will try and use that against me. I’d say i’m being paranoid but i’ve seen the rabid shippers use far less to attack Tom, so no. Rhina, to make things go smoother, cast a spell to make her love him.... it didn’t work longterm and, to get him to leave her, cast a heart break spell on him.. which LITERALLY broke his heart, and thus she was left a widow and the demons were not happy about her you know, whoopsie daisy murdering one of them likely set up with her a bridge between both sides and soured things for a while. Now you may all be asking: “Kay, intresting.. but what’s all this game of thrones but with flying pony heads, so better game of thrones, stuff gotta do with tom?” Well wait no more. Luckily for me, Star has a section in the book, and thus she spills the tea on her first metting with Tom. The two met at the Silver Bell Ball, an annual ball where the royalty of Mewni gather and the princes and princesses all dance once each as a good will gesture. The reason I went through the Rhina stuff is I’m guessing Star, who attended the ball every year according to the book and likely since at least she was old enough to dance, didn’t meet Tom earlier because his parents hadn’t been on good enough terms to bring him till he was 13, and River and Moon, Star’s parents, had succeeded in winning them over. The book nor the series dosen’t outright say this but given what we see later and what we have, it’s what i’m going with. We’ll get more into Tom’s personality when we get to his first in series appearance, but being a charming young man, and the first person her age at the ball Star found remotely attractive, they quickly set up a date for the boardwalk in the underworld for Cornshakes, because Mewni loves corn as much as I love Galarian Meowth. He looks so adorably homeless. But naturally if a snowball can’t last in hell, a shake can’t either, but even melted corn can’t ruin their good time and Tom even buys star a gift. I bring this up because said gift is star’s signiture devil horn headband. (Though Star is quick to announce she isn’t one of those annoying people who comes back from a trip thinking their a local). A real steal too at 14.99 or your second born’s soul. Most demons go for the first born, it’s a classy change of pace. The two eventually end up making it official, and star even gets a helpful pamphelt about Demons’ love of mascera, their anger and their tendency to tell their mom’s everything... the latter two will actually be really important as we go. But due to Tom’s anger as we’ll find out, the two end up breaking up and frustratingly we don’t learn the exacts just star was sad.. and that said depression lead to said kingdom distruction and the rest of the series. And since I covered the premise of the series above we can basically scoot right onto Tom’s first apperance.

BLOOD MOON BALL

Before this ep, Tom made a small cameo in another ep when her magic mirror, basically portrayed as working as a person sized video phone, accidently called him when she said call Mom. As a nice little bit of foreshadowing Tom flew into a rage at her preparing to hang up on him , even though it was a wrong number and they’d been broken up for a few   months at this point. But it’d be an agonizing wait for Tom. I was curious about the character, given not much had been revealed, I missed the episode with his cameo, and the animatic for BMB’s first scene was released months before the episode came out and was really funny and intresting. Said scene has Tom making one hell of an entrance, landing from the sky in a cool carriage with a skeletal horse, floating in and catching eyes and floating up to Star’s desk in class to ask her out with the moon.

Star.. has no interest and shoves tom, hilarious as while they just cut to the front of school, she had to have been mildly shoving him all the way from her class up a hallway, and outside. And passing Jackie, marco’s crush I bring up because why not and Janna, Star’s future close friend who we’ll get to more later, since he did earlier and they now have to go from oggling tom to wondering what the hell their seeing. She also tells him to take his dead horse back, which leads to one of my faviorite gags of the series  as said horse says “Wait, I was dead” and later, mid conversation about her going to said Ball, randomly interjects with “why didn’t you tell me I was dead?” That poor poor horse. You should come live with me. I don’t have a car, I could use a skeletal horse and I would tell you if you were dead man. Hit me up. But Tom tries to convince star he’s changed, he’s got an anger managment bunny, a counselor Brian (voiced by my guy Stephen Root, who you may better know as the voice of Bill Dautrive, the mayor in Amphibia or Bud Gleeful), and he’s doing fine.. then Marco goes and Karate chops his hand off, thinkign he was a danger. Tom gets really angry, to Star’s horror, which tells me she saw this sort of thing a LOT: tom getting this level of pissed at someone and likely leveling either them or everything around them. Thankfully Brian calms him down and Star introduces them and Tom , like the gentleman he is , gives her a bell to take her to the ball and time to think. Star, impressed by him calming down and trying, takes him up on it over Marco’s objections and worries about her safety, including the amasingly radar busting line “Never go with a predator to a second location” and the dance is on. As it turned out, Tom toned things down, ,less death and murder and more prom, to try and impress her and is annoyed when Star turns down his corsage.. which is a live spider. Which i’m generous to her on because spiders scare the shit out of me unless their pokemon. Seriously look at this sweetheart:

Who could be terrified of that face? Such a sweetie. Anyways, Tom is angry about it and his anger only increases when he wants to dunk himself and star in unicorn blood.. because while on earth dumping blood on someone makes them go on a psychic rampage you brought on yourselves, in the underworld is just a teen dance thing. But since one of Star’s best friend is a unicorn, something Tom has no excuse for not knowing as Pony is close to her and a princess in her own right and he had to have met her in his months dating star, and gets pissy over.. and star catches him having to pet his therapy bunny over it and walks off annoyed to get some punch.

And it’s with this Tom’s problems become apparent: He has charm, grace.. but he isn’t really TRYING to change, nor does he see WHY Star hates his anger. Sure he has a counsler, he has coping mechanisms things that would actually HELP him get better.. if he WANTED to. He dosen’t want to control his temper, he dosen’t want to get better he just wants Star back, and that’s why it’s not working: He’s making an effort, but it’s for the wrong reasons and without trying to tackle the root of his issues. He’s just trying to take the easiest way out, which is a problem that will crop up again next time. His second one is easier to illustrate when his plan becomes clear: turns out there’s a magical binding curse thing, it was clarified more in Season 4 but I feel no reason to leave it vauge here, and tom wants to bind his and Star’s souls together forever. He later admits he assumed she knew about that going in.. but it still dosen’t excuse his actions entirely and brings us to that flaw I was building towards: He’s selfish. He changed the ball to impress star, he shoved a corsage on her she didn’t one, got ANGRY, visably angry, at her turning down something he shoudl’ve known just by having dated her before would be a non-starter and worst of all he wanted to bind her to him forever without asking, just assuming she agreed by going. Star can be selfish at this stage too, especially this early on.. but underneath it she cares about people, even if she sometimes goes about it in the same fashion tom does here, she comes from a good place. Really both of this seems to come from them being royalty: both have had privlage their entire life and been insulated from a lot of things.. and Tom being raised in an environment where anger is normal and he gets whatever he wants from two loving parents and an army of servants, probably meant he never HAD to think of anyone else and as the series goes on, never had any friends except a Dog that we never see and probably sadly died. My theroy is Little Lord Fooleroy got ran over by Deatruk, the truck what runs over people, but i’m stupid like that. This winds up costing Tom his soul binding thing as Marco in disguise, being goaded by.. something that’s never remotely explained seriously what exactly the fuck was that creepy deep voice to crash the ball, ends up dancing with her. Shippers squeed, this was probably used in a jillion AMV’s.. and Tom naturally is pissssseeeed and ready to flambe Marco... until star takes him out with zero effort. They go home, Star berates Marco for not trusting her , end of episode.. oh and they speak in unison for a quick gag but i’m sure that won’t be important. As you can probably see her Tom was origianlly supposed to be a recurring pain in the backside for our heroes, showing up to win back Star, pull some “Nice Guy” Crap and then get his ass kicked most likely.. but after the end of Season 1, it was a fairly short season, the writers for whatever reason, and for the better decided to have Tom slowly change a bit.. but since him becoming a better person would be abrubt he has to do one lass dickhole thing first...

MR CANDLE CARES

And now we’ve come to Tom’s worst act, the thing that had he not fixed it the way he had at the end, made him an outright villain. Star and Marco have meetings with the new guidance counselor, who gives eveyrone else great career trajectories but for Star and Marco? Star gets a rather overbearing lecture on how she has to be queen when she grows up and probably shoudln’t date Marco and should be picking a future husband, ewwww, and Marco gets the unitetinonally, given Tom probably knows only about enough about earth to concot this scheme, offensive career path as janitor.. for an honor roll student with a bunch of extracurriculars. Yeah but Tom’s accidental racisim aside, while what he did to Marco was petty , what he’s trying to do to Star is creepy, basically using someone else to gaslight her into trying to get back together with him. But as noted above, Tom is selfish and as I haven’t noted yet he lacks some empathy.. so instead his advice sends Star spiraling not helped by her mother, Moon, basically telling her she has no choice in being queen and being happy dosen’t matter.. because Moon was kind of a dick at this stage. So while star gets a punk makeover and prepares to do something terrible to prevent her miserable future, Marco decides to confront candle and, as I didn’t even try to hide, Tom is behind this. Granted Tom wasn’t great at hiding it either, it’s just star was understandably concerned about her future and too distracted by that to pick up on how weirdly intrested Mr.Candle was in her dating life. But no i’ts Tom who is, and Marco baits him by pretending he and star are “Smooch Buddies”.. something the trailers for Season 2, and this episode was pretty early, used as a bait and switch, but I’m okay with it as most could probably tell something was up by the delivery. Naturally this proves to be a terrible idea, and i’d say it’s the dumbest thing Marco ever did if Season 3 didn’t take a sledgehammer to his character, but that’s an essay for another day, and Tom takes Marco back to his place to murder him... but Marco stands strong and Tom challenges him to a battle to the death, with Marco choosing ping-poing. Tom naturally destroys him.. but Marco uses the game to point some things out: After calling tom out for bascially cheating, since his powers give him the upper hand, Tom talks about Star doing the same, basically making up her own rules as soon as she looses. Marco then uses this to make tom see what a butt he’s been: The ping pong thing is just another example of how Star functions, doing whatever she wants and going her own way. It’s why being forced down the path of queen scares her so much, it’s responsiblity and rules and no fun as far as she can tell with no benifits. It’s why she rebels so much.. she can’t be told what to do.. which Marco makes Tom realize means he can’t control her, nor would he want to, and that he’s made a huge mistake. Tom forgoes killing Marco, and the two rush to star who’s on the edge of cutting of a mermaid’s tail to prevent her from ever being queen.. but just can’t do it. Star can be selfish, the above cheating shows that.. but she’s a good person deep down. Tom admits what he did.. and throughly apologizes for it, agreeing basically to let Star go and stop trying to force her back with him. Star does punch him for good measure, deservedly so, but they part on good terms and Marco reassures Star when she’s Queen she can rule her way, and they hug.. and notably Tom dosen’t get the least bit upset. Mr.Candle Cares is a good second ep. I’ve made no bones about how this is the worst thing Tom did: The controlling stuff at the ball was just selfish, the blood moon thing while not GREAT was asbent minded selfishness. This... it nearly broke star and ruined her future. However it comes from the same place as Blood Moon and his reaction at the end shows he simply didn’t consider star’s feelings.. and likely realize he HADN’T been. it wasn’t Marco’s fault they weren’t together, it was Tom’. While the Apology is a minor thing, it’s still a step in the right direction. As I said had he NOT backed away here he probably never would’ve gotten better or even if he tried, gone so far in trying to get star back he couldn’t walk it back. Here he hit his lowest point.. but thanks to Marco, he had a chance to turn it around before it was too late and grow as a person. This is where Tom gets compelling: he goes from a spoiled selfish douchey rich kid, to someone who clearly WANTS to be better, but has issue, social and otherwise, that make it an uphill battle. And with that we get to tom’s penultimate apperance for Season 2, and his last full one...

Friendenemies:

Tom shows up again and while Star tries to shoo him off before she has to get the shooing broom, Tom reveals he’s not there for Star but Marco. See he feels bad about you know, trying to kill him twice and wants to take Star’s Marco out tonight he’s gonna show him what he’s all about, he’s gonna get jacked up on some cheap champagne and let the good times all roll out. Marco understandably does not want a night out with a guy who was creepy to his best friend and tried murdering him twice, so Tom uses a bribe: tickets to the Mackie Hand, a martial artist that Marco is a huge fan of, film festival that Marco failed to get tickets to. With some encouragment from Star, who while not wanting to date Tom sees he’s genuinely making an effort, Marco agrees They hang out in Tom’s carriage which goes by tardis logic, if only, and to the creator’s credit, just so, and the two soon bond, finding a shared love of both Mackie Hand and the pop band love sentence, and Marco genuinely earns tom’s respect when some shades wearing piles of smug challenge our heroes, which Tom now counts as at this point, to a race, Marco agrees... then has them do nothing while the idiots speed up and get arrested and we get the blessed image above. The good times get interrupted though when it’s time for the marathon but tom locks him inside. And no this isn’t the start of some angry makeouts, as it turns out this was part of tom’s anger management therapy, but once again his propensity for the easy way out means he fails at it and burns up the tickets.. but Marco is more upset that Tom lied to him and pretended to be his friend and like mackie hand, though the love sentence thing was real> The whole thing plays more like a breakup than the end of a blossming friendship, which ties into how this episode got people shipping Marco and Tom with each other.. and rightfully so. While I don’t really ship it myself, I can see why as it has great chemstry and a great dynamic. Tom’s behavior here is part of why I say he has social issues, something I can relate to as a cave troll living in my mother’s basement: Tom dosen’t seem to have any real friends. Oh sure he can charm people, he has servants, two loving parents, and a screeching grandpa whose on the wall of my own personal heroes along with Ric Flair, My Mother, Stan Lee, Peter David, Rebecca Sugar and many more, but he dosen’t have FRIENDS. Star seems to be his first relationship and the first thing resembling a true friend he had, so while his behavior was a tad creepy it makes sense why he clung to her. And that shows here: He tries superfically bonding with marco, faking an intrest, giving him gifts, partying.. but it’s both forming a genunine connection over something, Love Sentence, and just sharing some memories that ended up making them friends. But yeah after Marco sings a sad pop ballad, or part of one. Tom decides to do a three point grand romantic gesture and raises Mackie Hand from the dead, and when Mackie isn’t allowed into his own film festival he fights the ticket guy and tom and marco watch and while they say they hate each other, the two’s friendship is forged. Marco finally has a friend outside of two doofuses and .. does Janna count? I dunno. She’s less of a friend and more of a gremlin who steals his things constantly while being actual friends with his bestie. Before we close out this leg there’s one final episode for season 2 with Tom in it to cover and dive into: Naysaya.

Naysaya comes literally just before the mid-season finale and Tom sadly disappears for the rest of the season, though he’ll be back and in greater numbers  in Season 3. I’m not covering it full because it’s not a full on tom episode, he only has a short cameo, but he is important to it and his one brief bit shows off his  character. In short Marco is finally asking out Jackie Lynn Thomas, his crush and a great character in her own right who sadly all but vanished from the show shortly into season 3 after something we’ll get to in passing next time, but got some great closure and was revealed to be Pansexual, so good for her. Marco had been building up to this for the last two seasons: first realizing thanks to time shenanigans he never made a move, then actually talking to her, and then not only telling her how he felt but realizing he didn’t know her but he’d like to. So now he’s ready to ask her out but every time he tries, written or spoken, it comes out as his most embarrassing secrets before the little neck tumor man comes out up there and does it for him. Thanks to Janna, local roustabout mentioned above, who after teasing Marco as is her usual response to anything with him, uses her knowledge of the spooky oooky to find out what that thing is: a Naysya, a curse born creature that spills it’s target’s most embarrassing secrets at whoever they try to court. Naturally, given Tom was an insanley jealous ball of asshole until a few episodes ago, it’s his fault though showing his slow growth, while he’s entirely suprised Marco asked no one out since the ball, says the guy who did two schemes and a shenanigan trying ot get star back, he’s also sorry and assumed it’d worn off or he would’ve told him sooner, and tells him how: he has to let all his insecurities out> Marco nearly withdraws over this due to being 90% insecurity, but eventually buckles down and tells jackie every embrassing thing about  him and.. it works. Naysaya leaves and he and Jackie go out on a group date. And with that Tom is gone for a while but he, and this retrospective will be back.  I owe a huge debt of grattitude to @jess-the-vampire​, a dear friend, and wish her a happy belated birthday. She was a willing and helpful resource and worth a follow. And if you want more stuff like this, comics reviews, and what have you, feel free to follow or comisson me. Until next time, keep the home fires burning. 

[vivypotter]

Vivy’s Harry Potter Fic Recs

I’ve had a load of people ask me for my favourite tomarry fics, so I thought I’d compile a fic rec! This will probably be updated as I think of things. However, I have a lot of favourite fics which aren’t Tomarry, so I thought I’d add a few other pairings as well. I think I’ll put up a few recs of other fandoms as well when I get ‘round to it, like Hannibal or the Hobbit (I have weird reading habits okay?) It’ll help me find them too xD.

Tom Riddle or Voldemort/Harry Potter

Consuming Shadows by Child_OTKW (WIP)

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.

I feel this is genuinely one of the best Tomarry fanfics maybe ever written, and I’m sure you’ve probably read it since it’s so popular - but I thought I’d recommend it anyway! It’s not finished, but there’s enough of it to really sink your teeth into and action is properly going down right now. Harry is such an interesting character and his cat and mouse dynamic with Voldemort is so entertaining. I anxiously wait for every update!

Set the Sails (and don’t look back) by Terrific Lunacy (Complete)

1724. All Harry wanted to do was to cross the Atlantic and start his apprenticeship under one of the most renowned physicians. Tom Riddle is convinced everything floating in the seven seas belongs to him. That includes ship-wrecked, green-eyed youths. Especially if they tell him to fuck off.

This is a fic that’s really stuck with me. It’s complete (a miracle in the tomarry fandom) and there’s a fun back-and-forth between Voldemort and Harry. Our goodhearted Harry is a doctor! And for some reason, I’ve been really into Pirate AUs recently.

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars by haplesshippo (Complete)

Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.

Another pirate AU, kind of! But this one is in space! And it’s actually more of a Star Trek AU. Okay, it’s not really a pirate AU but I wanted to keep the theme going. This is such a freaking good fic- the relationship between Tom and Harry is very unusual (not as combative as the last two fics) and there are some nice twists, as well as combination of HP lore and what I assume is Star Trek (I’ve never seen it okay). And the extended cast is excellent. I fully recommend!

The Dragon's Mate by Strange_Soulmates (Complete fics but WIP series)

Harry Potter has recently escaped from his dragon-guarded tower. So has his fellow prisoner - the dragon who was enchanted to guard him. Harry's friend is missing, however, and so he sets off to assure himself of his well-being before he finds the person responsible for imprisoning them both. Accompanied by a stranger with a familiar name, Harry finds himself with more questions than answers as he slowly learns about the customs of dragons and the history of the dragon he befriended, the fearsome Voldemort.

I really love pretty much all of Strange_Soulmates’ fics, but this is definitely my favourite (and maybe the only complete one? Don’t quote me on that.) The characters are so well done, and although I love the first fic a little more than the second, they are both excellent reads! Dragons and wizards? Yes, please!

Everything's Fine in the Beast Division by Merrinpippy (Complete)

Harry's lifelong ambition is to become an auror, but as his knowledge of Dangerous Beasts is somewhat lacking, Newt Scamander agrees to take him on as an apprentice. Contrary to the Weasley twins' predictions that Harry would die of boredom, Harry finds his time at the Ministry very interesting, and befriending the very attractive Tom Riddle doesn't hurt at all- in fact, quite the opposite.

This is such a fantastic fanfiction, and a crossover with Fantastic Beasts (a franchise I can’t stand but that’s a conversation for another time). It manages to be fluffy without going OOC which is difficult for tomarry fics, and the supporting cast are adorable!

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?

King Thomas Riddle's illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom's future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won't tell anyone his name...

This is also excellent, and I love a good Fairytale AU. Merrinpippy has some really good stuff. I love all of it!

As Clichéd as Clichés Go by thecrimsonmonarch (One-shot)

Harry Potter wasn't known for his social skills, mainly because they were practically non-existent.

This is a bit random but very fun. Harry is a fucking dork. That’s all there is to say. A thoroughly amusing Lawyer AU.

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin (WIP)

As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.

This is a still-uploading fanfic and one of my faves. It’s not for everyone- it’s a fem!Harry and she’s so different that she’s really an OC to be honest, and the story is slightly complicated. This is certainly not a fic to go for if you want IC characters. But I really love the writing and the ideas and it’s basically a new, fascinating universe. And even if they’re not IC, I love the characters all dearly. The Carnivorous Muffin is certainly an extremely talented writer- all of her stuff is excellent.

Little Bits by lordmarvoloriddle

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince and surely no one is singing about their feelings and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't liked him. He's going to be proven right.

This is such a bloody creepy fic and so so good. The ending is a complete twist and you should definitely read it!

Drarry

Draw a Line from Your Heart to Mine by CreateImagineWrite (Complete)

Being Harry Potter's best friend isn't always fame and beating off raving fans. It's also the anxiety of hearing your best mate's been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow's doorstep.

This is a bit of a random inclusion, but I was just reading this and it is SO GOOD. Perhaps a bit cliched in places, but Ron Weasley’s inner monologue makes up for it.

Turn by Saras_Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

This is an also an excellent fic that I read bloody ages ago and has apparently stuck with me. There’s this whole Harry going into an alternate dimension where he’s married to Draco Malfoy plot, but the really beautiful thing is Harry exploring his dissatisfaction with his life- through carpentry! I know it sounds like a crack fic, but it’s not- it’s a gorgeously written fic.

Away Childish Things by lettered

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

This does the ‘Harry was abused’ revelation so well and really interestingly explores both Harry and Draco’s childhood. The overarching plot is also excellently done, which can’t always be said for character-focused fics!

Jily

#Jily by Chie (Chierafied) (One-shot)

Twitter seemed awash with the hashtag Jily. Lily blinked at in confusion, until she realised it was one of those silly couple monikers people had bestowed on her and Potter. …Though there was a small dissenting crowd following a tweet from Potter’s bandmate Sirius Black: Jily? Hah! More like LAMES.

This is such a fucking cute one-shot. I love social media AUs (if you find any, send them my way), so I loved this!

The Rise and Fall of the Extraordinary Jilysanschilly: Including Excerpts of their Best Collected Works by elanev91 (One-shot)

James Potter and Lily Evans are both wildly successful YouTubers and Sirius cannot believe that people ship them enough to write erotic fanfiction about them. 

You might be picking up on my love of modern Jily AUs. This is so cute, Sirius is weirdly IC as he gets caught up in a smut addiction and James and Lily don’t hate each other from the beginning so that’s fun. A very sweet YouTuber AU.

Hit the Like Button by elixirsoflife (One-shot)

YouTube star James Potter is living it up at uni: filming videos, getting drunk and professing his love for aspiring singer Lily Evans to anyone who'll listen.

It’s another modern AU, but this time, Lily is a famous singer! This was fucking adorable, enough said.

The White Album by cgner (Complete)

James poses as an advice charm in Lily's diary. He's really got to start thinking through his shenanigans.

This is the strangest mix of angst and fluff that I’ve ever read, but it really, really works. It’s also kind of a crossover, as it’s written by the co-author of:

Haggis from Algernon by Rude Gus (Complete)

The fic about nothing.

Everything written by both Rude Gus and cgner is brilliant (not a surprise as they’re almost the same person), but Haggis really is a classic. And check out their Bachelor AU fic! It’s surprisingly brilliant.

Gen and Misc

Kid by Anonymous (Completed)

A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old. Draco Malfoy begins planning his kidnapping/conversion to the Dark Side. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing… 

Such a cute fic! A really nice character study of Draco and cute kid Harry is always a bonus. I’m not usually a Draco Malfoy fan, but this is a great fic.

Harveste by kyaru-chan (Complete fics but WIP series - probs abandoned)

He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.

This is a really weird fic series. It’s actually an Addams family AU? Harry kills the Dursleys and gets adopted by the Addams family, and then there’s a separate fic for each HP book up to Half-Blood Prince, where I think they stopped. It definitely still worth a read though. Harry is certainly not IC but it’s a fascinating combination of the two universes with all the quirky Addams family humour. It’s certainly a bit of a crack fic to read when you’re down.

Sarcasm and Slytherin by sunmoonandstars (Complete stories but WIP series)

After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world.

This isn't the Harry you think you know.

This is WBWL kind of story (although we don’t know if Harry actually is the BWL yet. Harry is a really interesting character and his relationship with his family- especially Jules - is very well developed and nuanced. Harry’s friendships and the authors interpretation of Slytherin house is also a new twist on old tropes- it feels very fresh! I’m eagerly waiting for updates!

So there it is. Just some of my HP faves. I’m considering doing one for Hannibal, Yuri on Ice, The Hobbit, Labyrinth (my tastes are so weird) etc, so let me know if you’re interested!

[iamnmbr3]

What's your Hogwarts House? And what's your opinion on them?

I originally took the test when it came out and got sorted into Gryffindor. Then I took it again at the end of my senior year of college and got sorted in Slytherin and if that’s not a perfect metaphor for the freshman -> senior mentality change I don’t know what is lol.

Seriously though I will always have a soft spot for Slytherin. Especially since it gets kind of unfairly demonized even though plenty of evil or morally questionable characters came from other houses. And that includes Quirrel and Peter Pettigrew who were instrumental in Voldemort’s return to power.

I like all the houses though I don’t love what JK Rowling did with them. The books gradually develop the idea that the inter-house divisions are problematic and reductive for a number of reasons. But then in the Epilogue That Shall Not Be Named nothing has changed. There are still the same rivalries. Being in Slytherin carries the same stigma as ever. Which is such a shame. Because she was developing this great concept and then she kinda dropped it.

At its best, the idea of the houses has great potential to show the duality of human nature. Cedric was a Hufflepuff but so was Zacharias Smith. Luna and Quirrel were both Ravenclaws. Hermione and Peter Pettigrew were both Gryffindors. Tom Riddle and Andromeda Tonks were both Slytherins. I do have to say some of the most interesting and complex characters (and some of my personal favorites) have been in Slytherin. 

Also, for all that he is in Gryffindor (and I LOVE that you can choose what house you are in) Harry is in many ways the perfect Slytherin. He’s cunning and creative and determined and he uses all that for good. 

By the way, I have this headcanon that maybe the real test of daring to get into Gryffindor is that you have to ask to be put there.