#sex is okay

[alexismusictrek]

Okay, so let’s get down to brass tacks… For years we’ve been hearing the debate about the Janeway/Chakotay we got on Voyager and the JC of the fanfic world.

We got a beautifully understated, but glaringly obvious relationship. These two characters love one another without question—deeply, unyieldingly, intrinsically. This is clearly some written in the stars type shit— pun blatantly intended🤣 And yes we were robbed in the end, but that’s why we have the fanfic, right?

Right.

HOWEVER:

Shaming people for letting their fantasies come to fruition in story is not cool. Like not ever, bro. Especially for the writers, but also the readers.

I am both. Speaking for myself only, hell yeah I love the subtext, the unspoken love, the minuscule and the grandiose gestures… ALL. OF. IT. It’s devastating and beautiful and hits you straight in the feels no matter which way you turn.

But you know what? Sometimes it’s refreshing to think of these characters as the humans they are. 24th century or no. This is why we have tags and trigger warnings. It’s a personal choice. Admittedly, I’m the type that believes Janeway would have her way with Chakotay all over the ship if she could and vice versa— and as someone who spends valuable time writing simply for the love of it… imma put that into words when the occasion strikes me.

Giving Characters a life not seen is not a negative. Sex is not a bad thing. E ratings don’t instantly mean trashy. Baby fic is not evil. Fluff isn’t gross, just mostly harmful to your dental work☺️

Jokes aside—If you don’t like it, don’t read it for sure, but please don’t make people feel guilty for imagining or articulating what they long for. It’s hard enough to pour your heart into something so freely, only to be judged harshly or negatively because someone feels a different way. Skip it if it’s OOC or otherwise for you, but unless they are constructive and healthy— keep your opinions to yourself.

Fanfic is for the imagination, no matter the rating or the context. There are a lot of strong beliefs in this fandom, but being decent humans is one we should all agree on💜

[throesofincreasingwonder]

You know what? I want a whole post for this:

Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity

non-negotiable!

I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.

Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[slushed-puppy]

I want to be kissed like I mean something

[rosekasa]

i think what i adore about ladynoir beyond high school age (18 and over) is the opportunity it leaves for some of the most DELICIOUS best friends to lovers scenarios. because, like, two people who've been fighting side by side for years? who've known each other long enough to make jokes about it, haha remember when we were fourteen and you-- we AGREED to never speak of it!!!! who've spent so long learning each other inside out, even, in chat noir's case, getting over feelings, that the idea of anything romantic between them is so far off the radar that they don't feel the need for certain boundaries, because why would it matter if they made jokes about how attractive they find each other, about getting married, about how they could totally mess with the rest of the miracle team by pretending they're hooking up because it's so far out of the realm of possibility.

but then there would be that imperceptible shift. the moment where one of them makes a joke and it feels just a bit more loaded than it should. gazes lingering where they never lingered and playful smiles turning curious. the sudden awareness that, while maybe they were cuddling on a rooftop with their best friend, they were also wrapped up in the arms of someone they trust with their lives, and is extremely attractive, and, wait, if the only reason it was platonic before was because there were no feelings, what does THIS mean?

THE TENSION. THE PINING. THE INHERENT MESS OF BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES. PLEASEEEE

[starsthewitch]

“you can’t be asexual.. relationships like that are basically friendships, you need to have sex in one”

a REAL quote from my mother

it was said after i explained asexuality and just as i was about to tell her that i was ace myself, she said this

and somehow, shes okay with me being a lesbian, but somehow draws the line at me being an asexual one

literally how do i tell her a relationship can still be romantic just without all the sexual aspects

like YES i want to kiss a girl a lot so very very bad and we cuddle on the couch watching our favorite movies

YES i want to be cooking with my future girlfriend and she comes up to me hugging me from the back and kissing me

relationships without sex just sounds so peaceful? like no pressure to one day have sex with that person or to not expect anything like it

allosexual people just dont get it and it sucks

[yrsonpurpose]

Mary & George (2024) Episode 3 'Not So Much as Love as by Awe'

[prokopetz]

One of the more entertaining consequences of broadcast standards for children's media during the 1980s is that villains weren't allowed to express or directly imply the desire or intent to kill the protagonist, but they were allowed to openly state their intention to eat the protagonist – provided that at least one of the hero or the villain were non-human.

(i.e., human villain expressing the desire to eat a non-human protagonist: okay; unambiguously monstrous villain expressing the desire to eat a human protagonist: okay; human villain expressing the desire to eat a human protagonist: not okay.)

This often led to interesting characterisation choices, like Shredder's strange preoccupation with making the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into soup in the 1987 series – he's not allowed to threaten to kill them, but he can freely threaten to eat them!

[owob]

posting the sfw version of this i guess

[f1-stuff]

Feb '24 // Ferrari Fashion Show promo

[theabigailthorn]

I was just showing a cishet friend round my new place and he said, "Why do you have a smoke machine in your bedroom?" and I had to be like "Uuuhhhh..." 😳

[eskildit]

at this point its my headcanon that camilla was having a whole vigilante justice arc while on new rho and nona just didnt know about it. like she definitely killed that neighbor that was abusing his wife and i do not think she stopped there. <3

[one-paper-bag]

okay i know the girlies are talking about Isaac in regards to the aroace rep and realisations (and as they should he’s a phenomenal character and he means the world to me!!) but can we talk about Charlie in episode 6 when he says to Nick “if you didn’t ever want to do it, then I wouldn’t either.”

i’m asexual biromantic and i worry about being rejected for not wanting something that 99% of the population wants, i’m worried that i won’t be able to have a fulfilling relationship with an allo person because i feel like i’d be robbing them of something that i’ve been taught is expected in relationships. But hearing Charlie say, so easily, “if you didn’t ever want to do it… I wouldn’t either.” is so personal to me because he’s literally saying that he can still love Nick and be in a fulfilling relationship with him and never have sex and that it’s okay if Nick never wants to have sex

[shmaroace]

sex as part of pride and asexuality as part of pride can coexist. the inclusion of one does not have to mean the exclusion of the other

[yrsonpurpose]

Alex ± Henry's waist