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wizardofrozz · 3 years

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Please Help Me

Thor Odinson x Witch!Reader, Loki Laufeyson, mention of Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Thor has worked his entire life to be the best king for Asgard. When Asgard is destroyed he realizes he missed out on a very important aspect of life. Sex.

Word Count: 4,073

Warnings: smut +18!, swearing, anxiety

A/N: Part of me knows Thor can’t actually be bad in the bedroom but I can’t help but love the idea that he isn’t as experienced as everyone assumes. Also, I refuse to accept that Loki is dead lol.

My headphones drowned out the world as I moved around the kitchen, making a small lunch for myself. My hips moved along to the beat as I mouthed the words, completely lost in my world. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my favorite Asgardians wander into the kitchen, talking amongst themselves. I reached down to my phone and pressed pause, assuming they were going to greet me.

“She has headphones in Thor, so continue,” Loki huffed; I should’ve pressed play again, but part of me wanted to eavesdrop.

“I do not know what to do,” Thor sighed; I continued to dance slightly, so they didn’t catch on.

“Well, what issue are you having?” Loki’s voice sounded funny.

“I am the God of Thunder, and I still have not figured out how to please a woman correctly,” Thor emphasized the word please, sounding embarrassed.

“Oh, brother,” Loki tried to hide his snicker but failed.

“I will lob your head off if you continue laughing at me, brother,” Thor’s voice took on a harsh edge. I felt lousy eavesdropping on a private conversation, so I turned around; my headphones made me think they were farther away, so I jumped, realizing they were right on the other side of the island from me.

“Oh, hi boys,” I smiled sweetly at them.

“Afternoon, little one,” Thor’s features softened as he flashed a breath-taking smile.

“Hello dear,” Loki winked at me, chuckling when I rolled my eyes but returned his smile.

“What are you two up to?” I turned around and grabbed my plate. “Want a sandwich?” I offered over my shoulder.

“Please,” Thor’s voice took on a soft edge.

“No, thank you, dear,” Loki shook his head slightly.

“So no answer on what you’re doing?” I glanced over my shoulder as I started making a sandwich for Thor.

“Oh, uh, nothing really. We were just talking,�� Thor strained, trying to find a way to cover their conversation.

“Brother bonding darling,” Loki elbowed Thor, hoping you didn’t see.

“Here, Thor,” I placed the plate in front of him. I leaned on the island, taking a bite out of my sandwich, watching the two brothers shoot looks back and forth.

“Want me to leave?” I raised an eyebrow.

“What? Oh no, we are just…” Thor trailed off, looking back at his sandwich.

“Trying to have a conversation. I’m trying to avoid reading your mind, but you’re making it hard,” I took another bite.

“I forget that I am surrounded by sorcerers,” Thor sighed.

“You can always ask her,” Loki raised a hand in my direction. “In case your eyes are failing you, brother, she is a woman,” he glanced back at me. I jumped back from the island in fake surprise, looking down at my body in shock.

“What! Am I a woman? Why did no one tell me?” I faked shock, trying to hide my laughter.

“You are an asshole,” Loki pointed at me, fighting a smile; I leaned back on the island, still giggling.

“What’s going on, Thor?” I looked at him, trying to catch his eyes.

“I am not too keen on admitting it,” he whispered before taking a large bite from his sandwich.

“Thor, I’ve known you for years; I’ve worked alongside you for years. You’ve taken care of my drunk ass and vice versa. I’d say we are pretty good friends; you can tell me,” I reached over, placing my hand on top of his.

“Other than me, I assumed you would tell her. She is your best friend,” Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

“Please do not laugh,” Thor's voice sounded small.

“I won’t, honey,” I said, rubbing his hand.

“I am not sure how to please a woman. I never truly had the time to focus on sex outside of the basic mechanics. Now I have the time, and I realized, I have no idea,” he kept his head down and his voice low. My heart squeezed; Thor truly was one of the sweetest men I’d ever met; I never let myself linger on any attraction to him, but I’d kill for a man like him.

“Awe, honey,” I squeezed his hand.

“Oh, do not feel pity for me either,” he pulled his hand away, covering his face. “I knew I should have kept it to myself,” he mumbled.

“No, no, I’m not pitying you. It’s very sweet that you want to make the experience just as enjoyable for her as it is for you. Believe it or not, that’s not common here,” I leaned forward and lightly tugged his hands from his face. “Out of all the planets I’ve visited, some humans have no clue” I shook my head.

“LOKI!” I heard Nat yell from the common room. “Get your magical ass out here!” there was no joking in her voice; Loki flinched.

“God, this woman is going to kill me with her constant yelling,” Loki sighed and stood up from his stool. “Stay, talk,” he pointed to Thor.

“LOKI!” Nat yelled again.

“I AM COMING!” he yelled back as he stormed out.

“Have they fucked yet?” I said as I watched Loki leave.

“I wish they would. Their arguing is aggravating,” Thor rolled his eyes.

“So back to the topic at hand. Do you want my help?” I asked.

“Please, I tried to do some research, but I do not know what I am looking for; the internet eludes me,” he finished his sandwich, standing to put his dish in the sink.

“I can help, but first, I need to ask you something,” I said, turning towards him.

“Anything,” he leaned against the counter, facing me.

“Do you trust me?” I took a step closer to him.

“With my life,” he cocked his head to the side.

“Good,” I closed the distance between us. “Then follow me,” I whispered.

“Why,” his brows pulled together.

“I don’t know how to teach you other than show you,” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Show me what?” he looked more confused until I saw realization crash into him. “Oh!” he looked at me wide-eyed.

“Unless you don’t find me attractive enough,” I tried to joke, but I think it came out a little too serious.

“That is not my issue; you are gorgeous and powerful. I have found you attractive for many years. I do not want to embarrass myself when you deserve more,” Thor mumbled, blush dusting his cheeks.

“Well, then let me mold you into exactly what I need,” I winked at him.

“You are sure about this,” Thor looked surprised.

“Do you want my help or not,” I took a step back, leaning on the island.

“Yes, please,” he reached for me. He roughly pulled me closer to him and crashed his lips to mine; I pushed him away.

“Lesson one, no,” I held his at arm’s length. “You forget how strong you are, it doesn’t bother me, but I’m an exception. Anyone else would be turn off if not uncomfortable,” I gently touched his arm, feeling a chill run through him.

“You are so gentle,” he looked at my hand in awe.

“Let’s go, your apartment?” I said over my shoulder as I pulled him along; he nodded.

Thor placed his thumb on the fingerprint screen, pushing his door open when it unlocked; I followed him in, plopping on his couch. He stood rooted by the door; I could almost see the anxiety rippling off of him.

“Thor, come sit,” I gestured to the couch. He tentatively walked towards me, sitting next to me; he didn’t look at me and kept fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. I pulled one of his hands away from his shirt, holding it in mine.

“Relax. You’re thinking about this too much,” I squeezed Thor’s hand; he finally looked at me; his glorious blue eyes boring into me. “I will walk you through this,” I smiled slightly at him.

“I know how sex works, little one,” he looked at me, slightly annoyed.

“You know where to put your dick,” I corrected. “That’s not all sex is. You use your mouth, your hands, your words; it’s not all about a race to the end,” I locked eyes with him.

“I know that,” he rolled his eyes.

“Then what do you do with your mouth, oh mighty God of Thunder?” I looked at him, completely serious.

“Well, I kiss you,” he looked confused.

“Is that it?” he raised an eyebrow at me. “Thor, how many people have you slept with?” I asked.

“A decent amount,” he started wringing his hands. “They were quick encounters, rough and over fairly quickly. Woman wanting to sleep with a future king,” he kept his gaze on the floor.

“I’m not surprised,” I shrugged.

“When I was old enough, I was constantly training, fighting, planning. I did not concern myself with a woman very often. It is ridiculous that I am 1500 years old, and I have no idea, but I never cared to delve into sex. My entire life, all I cared about was becoming the king Asgard deserved, and now that it is gone, I realized how much intimacy I have missed,” his voice was low.

“That’s quite beautiful. You were so focused on being the best you could for your people,” I smiled, squeezing his hand again.

“That is all I ever wanted; I assumed that I would find love one day, and the intimacy would follow,” he glanced at me.

“You’re not a lost cause. I told you I’d help,” Thor looked over at me, smiling. “Let’s start with kissing, okay?” I checked to make sure he was ready; he nodded. “You have to read the situation, so for instance, in this situation,” I gestured between us, “how would you kiss me?” I kept my gaze on his eyes.

“I know it should be soft, gentle, sweet; I just get nervous and a little too aggressive,” Thor’s eyebrows pulled together again.

“Take a deep breath,” I instructed as I moved. I climbed on top of Thor, straddling him, sitting back on his legs for a moment; a surprised gasp left his lips. “Is this okay,” I whispered; he faintly nodded. I leaned in, my hands traveling over his stomach and chest before stopping at his shoulder; he kept his eyes on my face the entire time, frozen. “Relax,” I breathed onto his lips. I gently touched my lips to his, slowly started to kiss him, sliding my hands to his thick neck. I felt his huge hands gently travel up my thighs, moving to my hips; he kept his touch soft and sweet, reading the mood of the kiss. I slid my tongue into his mouth, tasting him more than I ever imagined; my head was spinning, heat pooling between my legs. My hands traveled to the back of his neck, gently tugging on the hair there; his surprised moan made my core clench. His hands tightened slightly on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I pulled away slightly, leaning my forehead on his, both of us breathing heavy.

“Wow,” he whispered; he was still trying to catch his breath. I felt his bulge pressed against the inside of my thigh, twitching faintly when I traced a finger down the side of his neck.

“Slow and sensual does wonders,” my breath still coming out hard. Thor removed his hand from my hip, caressing the side of my face instead; he pulled me in a little harder this time. I was ready to object when I realized he was doing it on purpose; his mouth moved against mine softly but with a purpose. He gently sucked my tongue into his mouth; I moaned in his mouth, he groaned in response. I started tugging on his hair again, loving the soft whimpers that came from him; his hand slid down to my throat, his thumb tracing under my jaw. I couldn’t stop my hips from moving slightly against his bulge under me.

“Fuck,” he moaned, breaking the kiss, throwing his head back slightly. I took the opportunity to nibble and kiss his neck, finding his spot at the base of his neck; I sucked on the spot, causing him to buck his hips involuntarily. A loud gasp left my lip as his boner pressed into me, causing him to freeze. “Sorry, are you okay,” he pulled away, searching my face for signs of pain.

“No, wait, yes,” I giggled; I leaned down again. “It felt good,” I whispered, nipping at his ear. A growl tore from him, gripping my hips harder, trying to contain himself; I leaned back to look at him. “You can be a little rougher; just be aware of how strong you are,” I watched his chest rise and fall. When what I said sunk in, a devilish smile crossed his face; he pulled me to him again, our lips meeting. The air left my body a little too quickly when he stood up, his hands moving to my ass, my legs wrapping around his waist. He carried me down the hall to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth. He laid me down on his bed, finally pulling away, locking eyes with me as he stood over me, his pupils blown out, taking in as much of me as he could. “Now, what do you have in store?” my voice deepening with arousal.

“Uh, I am not sure,” his cheeks grew pink. “I am going to guess that you asked because I should not just stick it in,” he cringed, saying it out loud.

“You’re getting the hang of this,” I smirked. I reached for the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head, tossing it across the room; I watched his eyes travel down my almost bare chest, taking it in.

“You are beautiful,” he breathed. I held my hand out; he looked confused before lifting his hand, hoping that’s what I wanted. I placed his hand on my stomach, guiding it up towards my chest; he understood what I was trying to do, and not long after, his other hand came up to my other side. His fingers traced the underwire of my bra; I nodded and lifted my chest so he could reach the clasp in the back. I tossed my bra towards where my shirt was, pulling his head down towards me again. I thought he would kiss me again, but instead, his knee rested between my legs, and his mouth traveled along my neck to my collar bone. He placed a soft kiss between my breasts, slowly working his way to my nipple. His eyes shot up to meet mine, trying to gauge if he’s doing okay, but all I could do was watch him with my mouth hanging open. He started to pull his head up, concerned, thinking something was wrong.

“No, keep going,” my voice was raspy. Thor’s eyes widened some, almost surprised that I hadn’t yelled at him for hurting me yet. He lowered his mouth to my nipple, sucking it into his mouth, running his tongue around it as his other hand massaged my other breast. “Ah, fuck,” I moaned. He moved away slightly to look at me; his warm breath on my now wet skin was driving me insane; another moan left my lips. He glanced down, realizing what he was doing before licking around it again, then blowing softly; his face lit up when I let out a strangled moan. My eyes found his again; he was watching me, admiring how I responded to his touch.

“Tell me what you want,” his voice was gravely. My core tightened hearing him talk, asking for direction.

“Y-you’re fingers,” I gasped as he licked around my nipple again. “Then your mouth,” I licked my lips. This caught him off guard slightly, his brows pulled together again in concern, cocking his head to the side; I pulled myself up on my elbows. “I’ll walk you through it,” a slight smile on my lips. He started to place kisses down my stomach, keeping his eyes on mine as he moved closer to where I needed him most. I could see some anxiety in his eyes, but he kept moving down. He climbed off the bed, kneeling next to it as I scooted closer to the edge, watching him. I pushed my shorts off, kicking them to the side; Thor looked down at my throbbing core. His mouth moved to the inside of my thigh, kissing and nibbling gently as he moved closer to my slick lips; I felt his breath as he passed and continued kissing down the opposite thigh. I frustrated groan left my lips as I watched the devious smile on his face form; any trace of blue had left his eyes at this point.

“Tell me what you need,” he said as his mouth stopped right in front of my pussy.

“Panties off,” I panted. He reached up and slid them down; I kicked them toward the accumulating pile of my clothes. An obnoxiously loud moan tumbled out of me as he ran his tongue along the entire length of my opening; he froze, a smile on his lips. “Don’t forget the clit, dear. You can always add fingers, too,” I smirked down at him, his expression darkening. I threw my legs on his shoulders, giving him better access; he kept eye contact with me as his tongue found my clit.

“Thor!” I practically screamed. His tongue traced small circles around my clit; then I felt one of his thick fingers push inside me, pumping in and out, adding a second one. “C-curl-l them-m,” I managed. Thor took a second to comprehend what I meant before curling his fingers inside me, keeping up the rhythm with his tongue. “Oh god!” I moaned. Once he got the hang of what to do, I could feel my orgasm barreling towards me. His fingers pumped in and out of me, rubbing my G-spot repeatedly as his tongue flicked my clit. “Fuck Thor!” I screamed when the coil finally burst, my orgasm plowing into me like a train; I felt him start to slow down. “Don’t stop yet,” I panted. I rode out the orgasm, my body shaking as the pleasure rolled over me; as I came down, Thor realized he could stop and slowly pulled his fingers out and placed a soft kiss on my slit before pulling back. I pulled myself up on my elbows again, seeing him looking somewhere to wipe his hand; I reached for his hand, he looked confused. I pulled his hand up, sucking his two fingers into my mouth, twirling my tongue around them, making his jaw fall open; he gaped at me for a moment before pulling his lip between his teeth.

“That was…” was all he could get out, his lust blown pupils drowning me.

“Come here; I’m not done with you,” I pulled him by the collar towards me again, my lips finding his. I could taste myself as his tongue slid into my mouth; I ran my hand down his chest, realizing he was wearing too much. I pulled at his shirt, trying to get it off before he reached over his shoulder, ripping it over his head, his muscles rippling under his skin. “God, you’re gorgeous,” I whispered as he brought his face back to me. A pink blush crept up his cheeks at the compliment; I ran my hands over his shoulders, down his chest, dragging my nails along his skin.

“Mmm,” he growled.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” I whispered in his ear.

“I want to fill you up,” he choaked out as my hand found his bulge. “Please,” he whimpered. I placed a hand in his hair, pulling his lips to mine again, tugging on his hair. I ran my hands down his chest, finding the button of his jeans, undoing it, and pushing his jeans off his hips. His kiss got more desperate, needing more; he sucked my tongue into his mouth again; I pulled him on top of me, feeling his dick under his boxers, press into me. I quickly pushed down his boxers, suddenly needing him inside me.

“Please, I need you,” I begged. I reached down, taking his member in my hand, pumping it a few times.

“Oh shit,” he moaned loudly. I positioned him at my opening, waiting for him to move forward, but he locked eyes with me first. “You are sure?” he asked.

“Yes, please, Thor,” I wiggled under him. “Take it slow at first,” I stroked his arm; he nodded. He pushed in slowly, letting me stretch to accommodate him; my head fell forward with a long moan. He panted softly as he bottomed out, opening his eyes, blinking a few times. “Please move,” I said breathlessly. He started to move his hips slowly at first, before quickly snapping his hips into me once; I cried out, causing Thor to stop.

“Little one, are you okay?” he looked concerned.

“Please just fuck me,” I groaned, sounding needy, but I didn’t care. Thor finally let go of any anxiety; he pounded into me relentlessly, hitting my spot over and over. “Thor, fuck. You feel so good,” the coil in my core, ready to burst again.

“I-I’m going to c-com-me,” Thor managed between loud moans.

“Come for me, baby,” I whispered. His thrust sped up again, pounding into me when finally the coil burst, my back arched towards him. “Thor!” I screamed as the most intense orgasm washed over me, my body trembling, seeing stars; few more pumps, and I felt Thor’s thrust getting sloppy.

“Ah, fuck!” Thor practically yelled as his orgasm racked his body. His arms finally gave out, landing on top of me, trying to brace his weight on his elbow. He pulled out of me, causing me to gasp at the sudden empty feeling; he froze.

“Are you okay?” fear in his eyes.

“I’m empty all of a sudden,” I smiled weakly.

“That was unreal,” Thor laid down next to me, pulling me into his chest.

“I think you may have been lying to me. That was…” I sighed.

“I have a patient teacher,” he smirked down at me, kissing my forehead. “I think you’ve ruined me, little one,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“So I can assume this isn’t a one-time thing?” a tinge of hope in my voice.

“No, but I’d like to see how other aspects of a relationship would go with you,” he closed his eyes.

“Is that you asking for an official relationship,” I smirked up at him.

“Yes,” a slight smile on his face.

“I guess I have a god-taming pussy,” I giggled; Thor lost it, laughing so hard he held his side.

“Indeed you do, darling,” he leaned down to kiss me sweetly before pulling me closer.

“Finally!” Loki yelled from the other side of the door.

“You planned this?” I yelled. Loki popped into the room, surrounded by a thick cloud of green smoke; Thor fumbled to pull the blanket over his waist and my entire body.

“Brother, get out,” Thor yelled.

“I had to make sure I was right,” he smirked. “Don’t get me wrong, he desperately needed help, but I also know he’s been pinning after you for years,” Loki had a devilish smile on his face.

“I will kill you,” Thor growled next to me, blush creeping up his cheeks. I placed a hand on his thigh, causing him to jump, snapping his wide eyes to me. Loki noticed the movement under the blanket as I rubbed Thor’s thigh, making eye contact with Loki. Loki’s eye widened, glancing at Thor, whose eyes were closed, biting his lip.

“That is my cue,” Loki disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Thor broke first, laughing hysterically, holding his stomach; I couldn’t get the look on Loki’s face out of my head, causing me to laugh harder. We finally settled down and curled up together again.

“I can’t believe your brother set all this in motion,” I shook my head smiling.

“Frankly, I do not care; I walked away a winner,” he smiled, kissing me softly. I cuddled closer to his side, listening to his breathing slow as he fell asleep, snoring softly; I drifted off to sleep listening to his steady heartbeat.

Taglist:

@criminalyetminimal @marvelfansworld @kelly-n-russell @kendallthesimp

#thor #thor odinson #thor smut #thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson smut #god of thunder #sorcerer reader #loki #marvel #mcu #thor fic #thor odinson fic

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miss-smutty · 3 years

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The Destructive Secret

Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back! At least I think I am 😂 I wrote this while I was struggling with writer's block so I don't think it's great but the next chapter I'm working on I feel back to the old me 🥳🤞

Summary- Are your lies finally going to catch up to you?

Word count- 2.8K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Mature themes, cheating, swearing, smut

Strictly 18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 2nd Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <

The guy turned to leave before looking back over his shoulder at the door, his hand on the door handle.

"If it makes any difference I would choose you over your brother any day." He winked as he left the room.

"What the actual fuck." You shout, storming out of the bathroom in a huff. "There's no way he's gunna stay quiet, it'll be all over the press come tomorrow." You paced the room, your heart beating fast as the adrenaline rushed through you. This was it, this was how it was all going to end. Liam would know as soon as he saw the headlines, all those late night and weekend conferences at the same time as Chris was conveniently away with work.

"To be fair, he does have good taste in men." Chris' usual nonchalance annoyed you, how come he could stay so calm? Why did he make you sound like a crazy person for actually worrying about what might happen.

"It's really not funny Chris, do you want our business known by strangers before we even have chance to speak to Liam and your Mom Chris, she's going to hate me." You feel the warm tears dripping down your cheeks before you even register you're crying. The thought of their mom hating you upsets you more than the thought of Liam hating you. Cathy, their mom was like your own mother, from day one she'd taken you under her wing.

"My Mom would love you no matter what, you know she thinks of you as her own daughter. It's me she's going to blame, Liam's her baby."

"Yeah you're probably right but still what are we gunna do?"

"Let's relax babe, you don't know what's going to happen and you can't change it if it does happen so what's the use in worrying about it. Come here."

"You piss me off Chris, you're so laid back. This isn't something you can just sweep under the carpet. It's serious." You needed to take your anger out on him, to let it all out so you could feel better. The four walls of the hotel room were becoming claustrophobic, you wish you could just put your headphones on and just run for a while to clear your head, that's what you usually did.

"I know it is but what can we do? I've done everything we can do, now it's out of our hands. We'll work it out tomorrow, can we enjoy our last night together without all the serious talk?" He raises his eyebrow at you, smiling that sweet, goofy smile of his that has your heart melting.

"You piss me off even more when you look at me like that. I can't stay mad at you and how could I say no to that?" You put your arms around his back, loving the way his height makes you feel so small and safe. He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and holding you close.

"That's why I love you yanno."

"Why?" You ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your neck stretching to reach his height.

"Because you never say no." He laughs, a real laugh that you can feel on his toned stomach, shaking against you. It was the best feeling hearing him laugh like that, it'd been so long since you'd heard him laugh. Your life being full of a lot of drama and upset recently that you were appreciative of the little time you had left together.

"Maybe I should start then." You pout pretending to sulk.

"No way, I love how easy you are." He picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, looking down on him for once. You punch him lightly on his shoulder, still pouting. "Ok, ok I'll stop teasing. You know why I love you though."

"Tell me."

He sits down on the end of the bed with you still in his arms, resting on his great big, thick thighs. He moves your hair behind your ears so he can see your face, studying it carefully with a look of adoration in his eyes.

"I love you because you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the first time I met you, you literally knocked the air from my lungs. I've been obsessed with you ever since." He shuffles slightly beneath you, getting himself comfy. "This would never have happened with just anyone, I'm not a dick that goes around sleeping with his brothers girls." You give him a questioning look, your eyebrows furrowing. "Seriously, it took fucking everything in me to try and resist you. I'd never felt that before, never been one of them that wants what they can't have. Until I met you. Fuck me you were an absolute bombshell." You frown at him. "Are, still are a bombshell, don't look at me like that." He laughs.

"Tell me more." You whisper, feeling yourself tear up at his revelations as you run your hand through his hair, his eyes closing as you do.

"Am I stroking your ego?" He smiles slyly. "Do you remember the first time you met me?"

"Of course I do, me and Liam had already been together a year but you'd been in Australia. I was eighteen, young and dumb..."

"And full of..."

"Do not even finish that sentence, you're ruining the moment." He laughs at you but quickly gets back to being serious.

"You were eighteen and ridiculously mature for your age, I was twenty six and still acted like a teenager. I remember you walking in in that little denim skirt and tank top, smiling at me with that beautiful smile. The first thing I noticed was your eyes, the way they lit up when you smiled. You had me right at that moment, I was smitten. Then you introduced yourself as Liam's girlfriend and my heart sank."

"I can't believe you remembered what i was wearing, it was twelve years ago." You kiss his forehead, holding his face in your hands. So glad you had the opportunity to talk like this, knowing all this made you know you hadn't made a mistake. "I was so nervous walking up to you, I'd only ever seen you on photos and crushing on you when you were in home and away. Then you're there in front of me looking sexy as hell and I knew I had to make a good impression."

"Little did you know, five years later I'd be bending you over that table and giving you everything you'd been searching for?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow at you with a smirk.

"No, dick! Little did I know you'd sweep me off my feet and make me question everything I ever knew."

"I am a dick but that's why you love me isn't it?"

"Your ego definitely doesn't need stroking. I fell in love with Liam when I was still a girl and I fell in love with you when I was a woman. People change, needs change and..."

"And I give you everything you need." His hand travelled to your ass pulling you into him, pressing against his growing erection.

"You do, you need to work on your arrogance though." You laugh. "But seriously I'm done with all this now, we can't go on like this anymore. I want all of you, all of the time."

"So you've made your decision." His lips part, his head resting against your forehead.

"Was there ever any doubt?" You question, running your finger over his lip and grinding against him subtly making him groan.

"Fuck Y/N, I fucking love you so much it's crazy." He says through gritted teeth, holding the small of your back as you raise your hips, your face contorting with need. "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" His hand travelled down the back of your shorts, cupping your ass in his hands.

"What do you think?" You tease, taking his bottom lip in your teeth and pulling gently.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." His face was set seriously, he wasn't joking, he wanted to marry you.

"Of course I'd say yes, once we'd dealt with everything." You smile watching his face light up.

"You're going to be Mrs Hemsworth and mine, not Liam's. I can't fucking wait." He picks you up, gripping your ass making you squeel before planting you back on the bed on your back.

Leaning over you, his palm caressing your stomach, kneeding your breasts with his long fingers. His erection poking into your clothed heat.

"You're so fucking perfect, are you ready to cause destruction?"

"Like now, in bed or?..."

"You know what I mean." He laughs, reaching down to attach his lips to your neck, sucking gently.

"If it means I get you then yeah, I'm ready."

"Right answer. You've made me the happiest fucking man in the world yanno?" His hand moves under your top, pushing it up to your chin as his lips finally meet yours. Kissing you deeply with everything he's got, your body rising from the bed to meet his.

"I think... I can... Make you even happier." You say between kisses, pushing down his boxers, your nails scratching his skin gently as you do.

He rests on one elbow watching you free his cock from its barrier. You cup his balls in your hand, stroking along the length of his cock with the other. He groans, pushing himself into your hands.

"I'll be happier once I'm buried inside this perfect pussy." He kneels between your legs, pulling your panties off before hovering back over you.

"Go slow baby, I want to feel everything." You whisper.

"Fuck, I can't guarantee how long I'll last." He moans, lining himself up and slipping in making you both moan as his cock stretches your walls perfectly.

He rests on his elbows, holding your face in his hands as he gently thrusts into you, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in further, deeper. Hitting your spot with the curl of his hips, agonisingly slowly. You look into each others eyes, his forehead resting against yours. Tears in your eyes from the intense intamacy.

"I love you Y/N." He declares gruffly, his voice deep with lust.

"I love you too." You whimper.

Moaning everytime his thighs connected with yours, flesh slapping together, bringing your hips up to meet him. Him grunting with every thrust, your sex noises filling the otherwise silent room. The sound like a symphony to your ears, turning you on even more to hear his exclamations of ecstacy.

"It's always been you Chris." You whisper, making his pace become sloppy, losing his composure and restraint at your words. You can see it on his face as it twists, his cock twitching inside of you.

"Come for me baby." He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tightening as his body goes rigid.

"Ah fuck." He brings you over the edge with the last of his powerful thrusts, your legs shaking around him, the feeling of satisfaction melting through your body simultaneously. A proud look on his face as you both come together and he falls limply onto your sweat laced body.

You stay like that for a while, both enjoying the moment, his cock still twitching inside of you. The heaviness of his body burying you into the mattress but you don't complain.

You don't want him to move, you want to memorise the feel of his heaviness and how his cock feels inside of you. How his rough face feels against your smooth skin, his hair tickling under your chin. You trace the muscles on his back, the defined shoulders and lean waist. Your hands gripping his tight, round ass and you close your eyes, remembering every dip and ripple, dreading the thought of being without him in your arms for at least another couple of weeks.

"I don't know how I'm going to watch you walk away tomorrow." He rolls on to his side, pulling you into him. "I think that's the hardest thing to deal with out of everything."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You looked up at him through your eyelashes, your fingers brushing against his tight pecs. "You know we've been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do now. It's going to be even harder for me to leave this time."

"I don't even want to think about it but we only have hours left together, what's our plan?"

"You mean when and how do we tell Liam?" You ask sitting cross legged in the bed, reality kicking back in. You have to go home to Liam and leave Chris all over again, back to the lies and sneaking about.

"That and when am I going to be able to see you again? I don't want to wait as long as last time, you know how crazy i start getting when I don't see you."

"We've got your cousin's wedding next week. I'll see you there." You risk a glance at him, pain set on his face.

"You'll see me but you'll be arm in arm with Liam and I'll be alone again."

"How about once the weddings over and done with, we can tell Liam about us?" You watch his face change, like a little boy.

"A week? I can do that, I think. But I'm not going to the wedding alone."

"What do you mean? A date? With who?" Panic laced in your voice.

"I don't know but I'm sure I won't be short of options."

"Are you fucking with me? Liam thinks you're dating a married woman, where you going to find one of those?"

"I don't know but I'm not turning up to a family party on my own again, my aunties can be fucking brutal."

"Well don't expect to playing all happy families and me being all nice." You sulk.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yeah, duhh."

"Come here." He pulls you into arms wrapping his legs around yours. Comfortable silence drifting over you both as he strokes your hair and you fall asleep in his arms.

***********

You wake up in the morning smiling, then remembering what day it is and that you have to leave to go back to boring reality and your smile fades. Chris stirring beside you, his muscly arm resting over your stomach, locking you in place.

"Chris, wake up." You whisper in his ear, admiring his sleepy, perfect face. "It's 9.30 we've gotta check out at 10." He makes an unrecognisable sound of exasperation, his eyes opening, puffy with sleep or lack of in this case.

"Aww man, can't we just stay in bed a little longer, I don't wanna let you go."

"You need to go check out first so we don't leave the hotel at the same time."

"Fuck sake. Back to reality it is then." He says all hint of jokiness gone from his tone as he sits up and rubs his eyes.

"I'm afraid so, I need to go grab my things. Text me when you've left please."

"Wow! I feel used, do I not even get a kiss before you run out on me?"

"I was just dealing with the business before I dealt with the pleasure, like I'd just leave without giving you a kiss." You threw yourself on him, wrapping your legs around him as he leant against the headboard. Taking his lips in yours, open mouthed kisses that left you both breathless.

*****

You packed up the couple of things you'd actually taken out of your pull along suitcase, you'd spent most of the weekend naked or slobbing about in Chris' t-shirts so all your clothes were still folded and packed.

You were anxious about going home to Liam and having to pretend again, having to try and not slip up about where you'd actually been. You literally had to go through possible conversations in your mind, conjuring up imagined answers to Liam's possible questions so you didn't get caught out. It was hard work.

Then you got the text from Chris telling you he was out of the hotel and on the road back home, followed by how much of a good weekend he'd had and how much he loves you.

You couldn't help having a spring to your step as you walked through the lobby, a weekend full of love making and reminiscing would have that effect on anyone.

After you'd checked out, the anxiety set in, like stepping out of this hotel would be like stepping in to an alternate universe. A universe that wasn't simple and easy like it had been this weekend but stepping through those revolving doors would mean that will all end. This safe feeling of being alone, away from prying eyes would end as soon as you stepped foot outside and it did, a ominous feeling sweeping over you, goosebumps covering your flesh. Maybe you conjured up the feeling in your own mind, manifesting it into existence but you couldn't shake it.

A feeling of being watched, was it your imagination or not? You didn't know, all you knew was how much you wanted to get out of public and back home. As you stood in front of the hotel, picking up your suitcase to carry it down the stairs, something caught your eye. A flash. And then another flash coming from your peripheral.

#smut #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #chris hemsworth thor #chris hems x oc #chris hems x you

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before-the-black-pearl · 3 years

Text

I made those modern Jack and Fitzy headcanons over a year and a half ago. I started writing a modern!AU fic since then so I developed the headcanons more and I wanted to share some of them. Keep in mind this may be a little different than what I present in the actual fic. I’m making some shit up on the spot.

So picture this: The young Jack Sparrow books taking place today and all the characters are in high school in Tampa, Florida, and the school is called...

Barnacle High School

Jack the “I was at the door when the bell rang” Sparrow:

He’s one of The Boyz🥶🥵😎 But like the stupid kind who thinks they’re better than everyone else.

He’s a troublemaker and creates a lot of mischief around campus.

Mischief includes but not limited to: pulling the fire alarm multiple times, drilling holes between the boys and girls gym locker rooms, defaced a bunch of textbooks with The Boyz drawing dicks on every single page, one time he snuck into the office and played pr0n on the schoolwide intercom speaker, a time he gave everyone “shits and giggles” (laxative and weed) brownies at a school dance and caused everyone to shit and puke all over the gym floor and it made the news,..... How tf isn’t he expelled?

Unsurprisingly he gets in fights. The fights are half of the time started by other students, but gets in trouble anyway.

Constantly interrupts the teachers to the point where they write him up or kick him out.

Sometimes fucks with the quiet kids like “Hey, mate, do you know what we’re doing?” “Can you like teach it to me?” “You can do it for me, right?” “Why don’t you ever talk, mate?”

He’s actually pretty smart but the teachers don’t like him and home sucks so he gave up.

Probably has ADHD.

Wears layers, like leather, denim, flannels, t-shirts, hoodies, jeans of various “tightness”, studded belts, many pairs of combat boots or knockoff timbs. Half his shit is from Goodwill.

Undercuts for dayyyzzzz. Think Coming Storm cut but the bottom is shaved off.

Still wears his nasty ass bandana even though the teachers always tells him he can’t wear it in class.

His makeup literally always slaps.

He likes to collect random things and sometimes puts them on his clothes or his backpack or in his locker.

Obsessed with dead things (furs, pelts, bones, stuffed animals, etc)

Has a fascination with the sea and likes the nautical aesthetic.

Bonus: Yeah he totally vapes.

Arabella the “Shut up and let me work” Smith:

She’s the “good kid” and sometimes the “quiet kid.” Jack definitely fucks with her in class sometimes until she pops off and they both get written up.

She’s an honors student and exceeds well in her classes.

She’d rather blend in with the crowd and not many students really notice her. She keeps herself contained in a small group of friends.

If she’s not with her friends, she’s probably in the library.

She’s really into Art and History.

Kind of a conspiracy nut and likes reading into urban legends and stuff.

Infodumps about her interests to Jack and he gets hella annoyed.

Jack sometimes follows her around and she gets hella annoyed but she gets sad when he’s not around.

Mediates between Jack and Fitz.

Jack and Fitzy fight over her. Jean has shown a little interest in her too.

She ate the “giggles” from Jack’s brownies. She got so fucked up she had a panic attack and left the dance really early before all the chaos began in the gym.

Kinda looks like she hasn’t really left 2015...like basic white girl with knit sweaters and cardigans, t-shirts and tanks, leggings, boots or sandals, etc. Sometimes also wears hoodies and jeans.

Headbands and beanies and cottagecore-like bandanas.

Yeah her makeup slaps too.

She works for her father after school at the Tortuga Tavern, formerly named Faithful Bride before it was forced to change to something more “PC.”

Fitzwilliam the “My uncle is the principal” Dalton (the third):

Basic snobby rich kid.

President of every “snobby kid club”; the Chess Club, the Key Club, the Student Council, and Yearbook.

Also an athlete and is in the school’s track team and soccer team.

Is in a clique with his equally snobby friends.

Yeah but he’s like hella proper.

He’s well educated and knows several different languages.

Hella ignorant about certain shit tho.

Big fuckin FLEXER with his expensive name-brand clothing and tech.

Lies about being friends with celebrities and online influencers and shit.

Ate one of the “shits” brownies....Just leaving that to the imagination until I make a one-shot.

Drippin’ Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Michael Kors, Coach, etc... Literally like full fucking tracksuits, knit sweater over button-up combo, fancy coats, name-brand t-shirts, jeans over hundreds to thousands of $$$, shoes costing almost as much as rent.

The pocketwatch from the books is a fancy golden $30,000 Rolex wristwatch.

Jack keeps taking his watch.

Wears his hair up in a manbun like it’s still 2015 and Jack keeps teasing him about it.

Yeah got like a brand new iPhone and and iPad and a really expensive laptop and an iWatch even though I already got a regular watch on my other wrist.

Jean the “I swear to god she’s like my sister” Magliore:

Y’all know it, he’s in the Anime Club.

Jean and Tumen are best friends, and in my story, foster brothers.

Likes video games and always has his Nintendo Switch with him.

Internet memelord and low key has “band kid” energy.

Always be sending Tumen or the “Barnacle Crew” group chat memes.

Being from New Orleans is a personality trait and is very enthused with his Creole roots and loves creole dishes.

He runs a foodie Instagram account with a large following. Self proclaimed foodfluencer.

Sometimes sells candy and chips at school. Gets in trouble for it.

Yeah he ate multiple brownies at the dance....

Jean has a cat Constance, named after his deceased sister, he brings to school hidden in his backpack.

Constance will literally eat just about everything, mimics human noises, and her expressions are very human-like according to Jean. Her traits are so much like his sister, Jean believes she is his sister born as a cat in a new life.

He made Constance her own Instagram account.

Jack HATES Constance. Constance LOVES Jack.

Hoodies, jeans, headphones, beanies.

His hair is the same but a bit shorter.

“Suspiciously quiet kid” Tumen:

The quiet kid sitting in the back of the class and drawing while listening to music.

He is also in the Anime Club with Jean.

Since Jean is into video games, Tumen is a weeb.

Jean is the only person he really hangs out with at school.

Tumen doesn’t have a phone in my fanfic but for the purpose of this headcanon and the group chat, he does have one.

He’s more of a “lurker” in the GC.

Jean’s #1 meme reactor.

He watches anime crack videos.

Tumen is the most “immature” than the others since he’s the youngest.

The only one who didn’t eat the brownies. Got interviewed on the news.

He takes pride in his Mayan heritage.

Has a random interest in geography and wants a career as a cartographer.

Anime t-shirts and hoodies galore.

Always has his hood up in class.

Teachers always telling him to put his hood down.

Tim “the newbie” Hawk:

He eventually transfers to Barnacle High.

I don’t have a full headcanon written for him yet.

Principal Lawrence Norrington:

Principal of Barnacle High.

Fitzwilliam’s uncle.

HATES Jack Sparrow.... Again how tf is Jack not expelled?

Brings his kid James to work sometimes even though the kid should be at school himself.

Jack sitting in the principal’s office in trouble again and James keeps bugging him. “Do you play Fortnite?” “No. Beat it, kid.”

Tia Dalma:

The school nurse.

Jack is buddies with her and he goes to her and pretends to be sick when he wants to ditch class.

Has crab parts in jars in the cabinets. No one questions it.

Joshamee Gibbs:

The janitor.

He’s in the Navy but he’s on off-duty employment.

Jack is buddies with him too.

He writes Jack fake doctors notes or signs permission slips or covers for Jack when he’s ditching, in exchange for booze Jack has at home.

He had to clean up the gym after the brownies incident ☹️

I don’t know how to write Davy Jones into this.

For the sake of this headcanon, it would be funny if Torrents was like a science teacher or something. Or if Madame Minuet was like an economics or math teacher. Or if Silverback is an English teacher. Or if Left-Foot Louis is a PE teacher and he’s all running in circles because he’s got two left feet lol.

Btw all these teachers HATE Jack 😂

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css1992 · 4 years

Text

I won’t go home without you

Summary/Prompt: “roommates au: where peter is tony's roomate for about a year. Peter has feelings for tony and decides to seduced him even though he has an on and off relationship with pepper”

Word count: 13.7K+

Warnings: Explicit, nff, underage drinking, loss of virginity, jealous!Tony, violence (just a boys fight, not between starker), a little angst with a happy ending. Can’t think of anything else, if you find anything triggering, please let me know!

No Pepper bashing! In this house, we stan Pepper Potts, thanksbye.

“I swear to God, Tony, sometimes you make it impossible to love you!”

Peter could hear Pepper’s voice through the door, she sounded furious and upset, which was unusual for her. She was always so – put together. Like she had it all figured out. She was classy and elegant, smart, beautiful and polite. She was the perfect woman, the perfect girlfriend. Peter still felt a little embarrassed to think that when he met Tony, almost a year earlier, he actually thought he might stand a chance with him. A few days later, he met Pepper and it dawned on him that the older boy was way, way out of his league.

“Wow, fuck, I’m so sorry it’s such a hardship to be with me! Why the fuck don’t you just go!?”

They met on their first day at MIT. It was the best day of Peter’s life, he’d always dreamed of going there, but he never actually thought he’d get in. And even if he did, he knew he’d never be able to afford it, so when he got the scholarship, it was like a dream come true – May was really proud. He was so nervous about meeting his roommate, he was afraid it would be some stuck-up, rich, little genius who’d make fun of him for his worn-out clothes, beat-up phone and used textbooks.

“That’s because you keep coming after me with your bullshit promises and lies, and I’m an idiot for falling for that!”

Tony was nothing like Peter had dreaded. He was so cool and laid-back, when he walked into the room the younger boy was immediately smitten with him. Peter noticed he wore nice clothes and his bags looked really expensive, but he was so nice to him. He introduced himself, let Peter choose which bed he would like to sleep in, he even took him out for coffee and they explored campus together. Tony was handsome and charming and an absolute flirt, by the end of the day, Peter was helplessly in love with him, he would write songs and poems about the older boy if he had any talent – unfortunately, he didn’t.

“Go on, then, leave, that’s all you ever do anyway. And don’t worry, I won’t call, we’re done for good this time.”

He remembered spending the next few days thinking of ways to ask Tony out. He rehearsed what to say in front of the mirror – it was terrible –; he looked through his clothes to see if he had anything nice enough to wear to a date – he didn’t –; he even went as far as to try and tame his curls the day he was supposed to ask him out – it was hopeless –, but it was all for nothing, because when he got back to their room that evening, with sweaty palms and wobbly knees, he found Tony kissing that gorgeous, cherry blonde vision that was Pepper Potts.

“You’re gonna end up alone, Tony, I mean it. If you don’t learn how to let others in, you’ll be lonely and bitter, and it’s gonna be all your own damn fault!”

And they made perfect sense together, they belonged to the same world. They were high school sweethearts, Pepper went to the same private school as Tony, her family was wealthy, just like his, she was tall and her nose was so fucking straight and perfect, just like her hair, and she had gorgeous blue eyes and she probably had beautiful clothes to go on dates with him, and they could go to expensive restaurants and split the tab and she’d be able to afford her half, and she could probably write poetry about him. They were just perfect together.

“This is bullshit and you know it, Pepper, you fucking know it!”

And still, when they weren’t together, Tony acted like Peter might have a chance. Like something could happen between them. Whenever Pepper dumped him – which had happened at least three times over the course of that year; four, if he counted that current fight – Tony would act different around Peter.

The younger man wasn’t sure if he was just imagining things – probably –, Tony was always sweet and a little flirty with everyone, but when he wasn’t with Pepper, it was – just different. He’d take Peter out on what other people might consider dates, his touches lingered for longer than necessary, he’d hug and kiss him whenever he had an excuse, they’d cuddle in bed to watch movies and eat pizza, it was just – weird. Good weird. Peter wasn’t complaining.

His friends seemed to think Tony saw Peter as a younger brother, Pepper thought so, too, but it wasn’t that, it wasn’t that at all. He noticed the way Tony looked at him sometimes, the way he stared at his ass when he turned around, the way his eyes lingered on his body when he changed into his pajamas at night. Tony wanted him, but for some reason he never made a move. Actually, he made several moves, but he never took the final step. It was like a very cruel, very drawn out foreplay that never led anywhere. Then he and Pepper made up and it was like nothing had ever happened.

“Have a good life, Tony.” Peter raised his head when Pepper’s voice got louder as she opened the door and walked right past him, she didn’t even notice his presence. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, with his headphones on – although nothing was playing – and his backpack and a few textbooks resting on his legs. He was just coming back from the library when he heard the yelling coming from inside the room, so he decided to wait outside, but that had been over an hour earlier. He was hungry and his back hurt when he finally turned to see Tony walking out of the room right behind Pepper.

“Good fucking riddance!” The older boy yelled at the blonde’s back, but she had already turned the corner. His eyes dropped to where Peter was sitting and he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his naked chest. He looked so good, all fucked out, they were probably having sex before the fight, his hair was such a sexy mess, like someone – Pepper – had run their hands all over it. “How much of that did you hear?” The older boy asked, rubbing at his forehead, and Peter just shrugged with a small smile.

“Not much. Are you okay?” Tony reached down to help him with his backpack and textbooks as Peter got up from the floor, which proved to be a little challenging since his legs had fallen asleep. Tony held him by the waist when he almost stumbled back down, their chests touching. “S-sorry.”

“It’s okay, munchkin. And I’m peachy.” The older boy smiled a little sarcastically, but Peter didn’t mind, he knew it was just a defense mechanism. He had some of his own. “I’m sorry you had to wait outside. Let me buy you a drink?” He still didn’t let go of Peter’s waist and the younger boy realized it was gonna start all over again. All the heavy flirting that made him fall even harder in love with his roommate, that made his heart swell with hope, only to be crushed again when he and Pepper inevitably got back together. Great.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just put this stuff away,” he whispered under his breath, watching a dirty, lopsided smile forming on Tony’s gorgeous lips.

Fuck.

To Peter’s relief – and disappointment –, Tony had invited other people to join them. Rhodey, Thor, Bruce, Clint and Natasha were already at the bar when they arrived and, somehow, they seemed to already know what had happened. Rhodey, Tony’s oldest friend, made jokes about how he and Pepper would eventually get back together for the hundredth time and Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head emphatically.

“I mean it, I’m done with her, it’s just too much drama, I don’t need this shit in my life right now.” Tony’s arm was a heavy, comfortable weight on his shoulders, his side was flush against Peter’s, their thighs pressed together, even though there was more than enough room in the booth for them to sit further apart. If Peter turned his head slightly to the right, his lips would be inches away from Tony’s jaw, the unmistakable smell of his aftershave would get him drunk way faster than the booze. “I’m getting another one, do you want one, too, Pete?”

“Yeah, sure.” The younger boy downed the rest of his beer as Tony got up to get more. Of course he had a fake ID – he was so cool – and it was convincing, too. It helped that Tony looked older than he actually was, he even had to shave everyday. Peter couldn’t grow a hair on his face to save his life and on top of that he had a baby face. The older boy had hooked him up with a fake ID, too, which was how he could get into bars with them, but every time he tried to buy a drink people looked at him suspiciously.

“You should give it a shot,” Peter was startled out of his thoughts by Natasha’s voice in his ear. The other guys were distracted, talking about their plans for the summer, but she was looking straight at him with a smart glint in her eyes. “You know. Stop pining, start acting.”

“Wai – what? I’m – what do you mean?” He giggled nervously, hands sweaty, but Natasha didn’t even pretend to believe his confusion. Peter liked her, but she creeped him out a little, she always acted like she knew what was going on with him and sometimes even he didn’t know what was going on with himself.

“C’mon, Parker, I’m not blind. You’ve been crushing on him forever, it’s cute and a little pathetic.” She shrugged and Peter actually choked on air. He looked around the table to see if anyone had heard her, but the others were still distracted by their own conversations. “It’s okay, they’re clueless.”

“I-I-” Peter didn’t know what to say. Should he deny it? Could he even make it convincing? Should he confess? Play dead? Call the cops?

“You should seize this opportunity, you know. Now that he’s single again.” Natasha rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her beer, and Peter blushed just thinking about doing what she suggested.

“I-I couldn’t, Nat. He loves her. They belong together,” Peter muttered, playing with his empty bottle, when he felt Natasha flick his forehead. “Ouch!”

“If they belonged together, they’d be together, dummy. They love each other, but it just doesn’t work between them. They know it, they’re just too afraid to admit it, they’ve been together so long, they don’t even know what it’s like to be alone anymore. They’re scared.” She downed the rest of her beer and glanced towards the other guys to make sure they were still distracted. “He wants you, Pete. And he knows you want him, too. That’s why he keeps leading you on, he wants to keep you interested, he’s saving you for later, like a snack. Don’t let him. You’re not a snack, you’re a three course, hot meal, a fucking feast. Make sure he knows it.” She leaned forwards, lips brushing against his earlobe, and if there was one single heterosexual bone in his body he would have shivered – but there wasn’t. “You should see how he’s looking at us right now. So jealous.”

Before Peter could say anything or ask what she meant, he felt Tony plopping back down in the booth by his side, one arm quickly reclaiming its spot over his shoulders, pulling him away from Nat, not so subtly.

“Hey, what are you whispering about?” Tony pressed his side to Peter’s, his arm bent so he could run his fingers through Peter’s wild curls. The boy shivered – because, yeah, every single bone in his body was very gay and very attracted to Tony – as he turned to look at Nat, who smirked at the older boy.

“None of your business.” She shrugged, turning away from them to join Clint and Thor’s conversation about climate change. Tony didn’t pay her any mind, he pulled Peter even closer – he was seriously beginning to question impenetrability – and placed a beer in his hand.

“We should do something fun this weekend, just the two of us,” he spoke close to his ear, the bar was crowded and loud, it was a good excuse to lean even closer to him and feel his hot breath brushing his neck.

“Like what?” Peter turned in his direction, their faces were inches apart, Tony made no move to pull away. God, was Natasha right? Did Tony really want him, was he really aware of Peter’s interest? Was he playing a game, trying to keep him close, leading him on? For what? What even was his endgame?

“I don’t know, we could catch a movie, grab a bite, walk around. You know. Just hang out.” Like a date. Peter wished he could say it, but he was a coward, so he just looked into Tony’s beautiful, soft, brown eyes, the eyes that made him fall in love in the first place, and smiled, nodding his head.

“Sounds fun.” The older boy beamed and the hand that had been scratching his scalp slid down his temple and twirled a curl behind his ear. Fucking fuck –

“Your hair is getting long,” Tony mumbled, eyes focused on Peter’s locks, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah, I don’t have the money to get it cut right now, but when I head home for the summer May’s gonna do it.” At first, Peter was a little embarrassed to talk to Tony about his financial situation, he knew the older boy was filthy rich, but he acted so cool about it that Peter sometimes forgot completely.

“I kinda like it, it suits you.” He said, resting his hand back on Peter’s shoulder. “But then again, you’re gorgeous, so I guess any haircut would look great on you.” Peter’s breath hitched, because, yeah – he definitely wasn’t imagining things. Tony was flirting. And not, like, good-naturedly, it was real. Natasha was right.

Maybe.

What if – what if Peter took that final step that Tony refused to take? He was so sure he could make him happy. They wouldn’t fight, Peter would get him. He knew Tony kept crazy hours because he didn’t sleep well, he drank too much coffee and slept in way too often. He knew he didn’t like to talk about his dad or about the company that waited for him back home. He knew he didn’t like to talk about his feelings, but he didn’t need to, because he wore his heart on his sleeve and Peter could read him like a book. He knew he sometimes needed his space, needed to be alone. Sometimes he needed time to study or work on his projects. Peter understood him completely and he loved every single quirk of his. He knew he could make him happy.

Well, he could at least try.

The first time he cuddled with Tony in his bed, his scent enveloping him, his warmth seeping through his clothes and transferring to Peter’s shivering skin, he knew they were right for each other. Peter might not be perfect for him, he wasn’t rich, sophisticated, well-mannered or well-connected; he wasn’t a genius – although he was pretty smart – and he wasn’t the most good-looking guy out there – he wasn’t tall, his eyebrows looked funny and his lips were a little too thin –, so, yeah, he knew he wasn’t perfect for Tony, like Pepper was, but he was right for him. He knew it.

Tony didn’t seem to notice it, though, no matter how many other times they laid in each other’s arms. Like at that moment, lying on the grass by Charles River bike path with his arms and legs spread out like a starfish, with Peter’s head on his shoulder and a timid hand on his stomach. Peter could hardly breathe, but Tony was relaxed, peaceful, star-gazing and sharing trivia about the known universe with the younger boy – most of which he already knew, but it was nice hearing it from Tony’s lips.

“What are you thinking about, munchkin?” Tony interrupted his own rant about the Chandrasekhar limit when he noticed he wasn’t paying attention. Peter blushed, but looked up at the older boy, he was staring down at him with an amused little smile. “Am I boring you?”

“No, sorry, I’m just thinking about home. I miss May.” He shared a half truth, because that was something he was constantly thinking about lately. He hadn’t been able to go home for Christmas, so it had been almost a year since he’d last seen her. He missed Ned and MJ, too, and they’d both be in New York for the break. “Are you going home for the summer?” Peter quickly figured out that Tony hated it home. He never talked about it, never talked about his father and rarely ever talked about his mother, although when he did, it was always nice things about her, but it was easy to understand it wasn’t a subject he was comfortable with.

“I don’t have much choice.” He shrugged, looking back up at the sky. “My mom called, can’t say no to her.” The older boy closed his eyes, sighing, and Peter felt bad for bringing it up.

“You can come stay with me in Queens whenever you want. My bed is really small, though, so we’ll have to snuggle together, I hope you don’t mind,” he said, cheekily, and Tony looked down at him with a grin

“We’d make it work.” He wrapped his arms around Peter, pulling him closer, and only then did the younger boy realize he was freezing. He tucked his cold nose in Tony’s warm neck and he didn’t even flinch. “Hey, you know what, I’m driving back to New York, you should come with me, we could make a road trip out of it.”

“From Boston to New York?” Peter smiled with mirth, looking up at Tony again, and the older boy looked back at him with a frown.

“Yeah, what about it?” He huffed indignantly and Peter giggled, shaking his head.

“That’s not much of a road trip,” he argued, but Tony just shrugged.

“That’s up to us, we can make a road trip out of it.” And that’s how he knew he was right for Tony, because he heard what he didn’t say. He didn’t want to go home, he wanted to postpone his return, and he wanted Peter to keep him company as he got ready to face what waited for him in New York.

“Let’s do it,” He whispered in Tony’s neck and felt him tighten his grip on his waist.

“Cool.” Peter wanted to say something, maybe do something, but at the same time – what if Natasha was wrong? What if Tony really only thought of him as a younger brother, after all, what if all the flirting was only in Peter’s head? But it couldn’t be. Not when Tony placed a kiss on his eyelids, cold fingers gently rubbing his hipbone. Maybe he was waiting for Peter? The younger boy took a deep breath, trying to talk himself into leaning up and kissing him, when he felt the older boy move. “Come on, we should head back, it’s getting late.”

Well. Some other time, then.

Three weeks had passed since Tony’s fight with Pepper, and Peter was pretty sure that was the longest they had gone without talking to each other, at least since he met them. Their fights always lasted around a week, then they would make up – which usually meant Peter had to find somewhere to be while they had loud, make-up sex for hours. It was annoying and heartbreaking, specially because every single time they broke up, Peter got his hopes up.

That time was different. It was, because it had been way more than a week and Tony was acting more and more like maybe he felt the same way as Peter, and he never once mentioned Pepper, and they hung out together everyday, and they laughed together, and they even helped each other with school work, and everything was just so great, it was going somewhere, at least Peter thought so. Maybe Tony was beginning to realize he was a whole meal, after all, not just a snack, whatever the hell Natasha meant by that.

So he made a decision. There was a party at Delta Pi on Saturday, it would be the perfect opportunity to make something – anything – happen. He bought a new pair of skinny jeans he just knew Tony would love – he had seen him staring at his ass countless times not to know – and he had one nice shirt that would go perfect with it. He would drink a few shots and just – be cool. And flirty. And he’d take the final step, if Tony didn’t.

So when Saturday rolled around, he made an excuse about a paper he had to finish and told Tony to go without him, told him that he would meet him at the party. He took a long shower, washed his hair with the sweetest-smelling shampoo he could find at the drugstore, tamed his curls with so much hair product that they actually stayed put when he brushed them to the side, then put on his cheap cologne and his best clothes.

When he looked in the mirror, he liked what he saw. He looked like someone on Tony’s league, someone who could go on a date with him and look the part, someone who could be seen kissing him, walking by his side hand in hand, someone who could make him happy. The perfect boyfriend. It made him smile, imagining all of that.

“You got this, Parker, come on. You can do this,” he talked to himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath and fixing his hair one last time. “Go get him!”

When he arrived at the party, it was already in full swing. A few drunk seniors laid on the grass outside, vomiting or giggling stupidly, and Peter could hear the noise coming from inside the house. It was really loud and really crowded when he walked in and as he made his way through the masses of people, he kept looking for a familiar face. Nat was the first one he found, and she looked at him with wide eyes and a knowing smirk.

“Someone is looking for trouble tonight,” she shouted over the music as soon as he was close enough to hear her. He grinned, accepting the plastic cup she handed him.

“Not trouble, hopefully.” He downed the contents of the cup and it tasted vile. He had no idea what he’d just drunk, but it was alcohol, and he would need to be at least a little tipsy if he wanted to go through with his plan. “Have you seen him?” He shouted back at her, looking around the living room.

“He’s out back by the pool, go get him, tiger!” She beamed, pushing him in the general direction of the backdoor. He took a little detour and stopped at the kitchen to get a beer, and then another, before he headed to the backyard.

It wasn’t as loud outside, but he could still hear the music playing in the living room. People were talking loudly and laughing, someone had jumped in the pool and was trying to convince others to join them. A few girls were taking their tops off and getting ready to jump in.

“Hey, Parker! Over here!” He heard Thor’s booming voice coming from his left and when he turned, he saw a few people sitting in a circle in pool chairs. He recognized Steve – Tony’s best frenemy, they couldn’t seem to decide if they hated or loved each other –, Bucky, Sam, Thor and Bruce, surprisingly sitting on Thor’s lap. Still, no sign of Tony.

“Hey, what’s up.” He approached them, trying to sound cool and chill, but his eyes were wandering.

“Hey, did you just get here?” Bruce smiled, offering him yet another cup filled with something unrecognizable to Peter. He accepted it anyway.

“Yeah, I was finishing a paper, I just –“

“Pete?” Peter turned around quickly, coming face to face with Tony. The older boy looked gorgeous as always, his hair was a floppy mess and he was wearing his signature ripped jeans and a band t-shirt and he still looked like a fucking wet dream. He was gaping at Peter as if he was seeing him for the first time ever and the younger boy, feeling confident and a little tipsy, puffed his chest out and straightened his back.

“Hey, Tones,” he said somewhat shyly, looking at the older boy from under his lashes – he read somewhere online that it was a good flirting technique.

“Hi, I – are you – are you meeting someone?” Tony shook his head, a little confused, blinking a couple of times, and Peter blushed, chuckling and dropping his gaze – this was supposed to make him look charming and cute.

“Just you.” He stared at the older boy head on, and watched nervously as understanding seemed to dawn on him. A slow smile started forming on his lips, confidence growing as he approached, beer in hand. Tony was only a few inches taller than Peter, but the way he carried himself made it seem like feet.

“Well, you found me, munchkin,” he said when he was close enough that Peter could feel his breath on his face.

“Get a room, you two.” Peter vaguely registered Sam’s voice, but didn’t even acknowledge him. Tony, on the other hand, flipped him off, but his eyes never left Peter.

“Suck a dick, Wilson,” he shouted over Peter’s shoulder, before wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him away from his circle of friends. “I thought you weren’t coming anymore.” He said as he steered Peter somewhere quieter. They walked to the far back of the house, where they could barely hear the music coming from the inside anymore. There were a few other people scattered around there, mostly drunk or too busy making out to notice them. Peter leaned against a tree trunk and Tony rested a hand on the side of his face.

“Sorry, I really needed to finish that paper.” Tony didn’t need to know that he spent almost two hours showering and shaving, then a whole other hour doing his hair and getting dressed and second guessing his outfit. “Did you miss me?” He asked, cheekily, punching his chest weakly and Tony grabbed his hand, holding it to his heart.

“Always.” He grinned, taking one step closer to the younger boy. Peter braced himself for something – anything – but Tony just stood there, way too fucking close to be casual. “I like what you did with your hair, but I miss the curls. You look really gorgeous tonight.”

“Yeah?” Peter breathed, gathering all the courage he had to whisper the next few words. “Are you gonna do something about it?” Apparently, it was all Tony needed to hear.

The older boy crashed his lips against Peter’s and he went to heaven and back in the course of 0.1 seconds. God knew how many times he’d fantasized about their first kiss – where would it be? How would Tony taste? Would it be soft and tender or rough and wild? – but his wildest fantasies couldn’t compare. It didn’t matter where they were when Tony pressed his body flush against Peter’s and he felt every inch of his chest and hips touching his. He tasted like alcohol and his hands were rough where they pulled Peter closer by the waist, but his lips were gentle as he kissed him deep and slow.

It was nothing like Peter had imagined – but then again, he’d imagined flowers, bells, rain, tuxes and an actual white horse, so maybe his dreams weren’t that realistic – but it was better. Real. Peter had kissed his fair share of boys in high school, but Tony was different, he kissed with his whole body, his hands were restless and roamed all over Peter’s heated skin, his hips moving ever so slightly and he was so out of it that he didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed for being hard – Tony was, too.

“Do you wanna go back to our room?” He whispered against his mouth, nipping his bottom lip, and Peter’s heart went wild. He knew what the other boy was suggesting, and it was another thing he couldn’t stop fantasizing about, but – was he even ready for that? He thought he was, he fucking wanted it so bad, he daydreamed about Tony every single day, all the fucking time, whenever he saw a hint of his bare skin, whenever he was close enough to touch. On the other hand, he’d never done it with anyone – he was suddenly reminded of Wade, his boyfriend from high school who broke up with him because Peter wasn’t ready for sex.

“Yeah,” he whispered, breathless, watching a slow smile forming on Tony’s face before he attacked his lips once again.

“Come on, then.”

They made it back to the dormitories in record time, Peter was so nervous he felt like throwing up – but maybe it had something to do with all the alcohol he drank. When they were finally in their room, with the door closed and locked, and Tony looked at him with dark, hungry eyes, approaching slowly, like a predator, he forgot how to breathe for one whole minute.

The room was so quiet Tony’s steps resonated and filled all the empty space, making Peter shiver in anticipation. They stood in the space between their beds, and when Tony finally reached him, his hands cupped Peter’s face, thumbs brushing his jaw as their lips met again.

“Your place or mine?” He asked playfully, indicating their beds with his chin, and Peter didn’t even hesitate.

“Yours.”

The thought of losing his virginity in Tony’s bed, lying in his sheets, smelling his scent, was everything Peter could have hoped for. Sure, he hadn’t thought his first time would happen before he even had his first official date with Tony, but then again, maybe his expectations were a bit unrealistic in the first place – it involved candlelit dinner, a ring and a string quartet with blind musicians, so.

Tony kissed him again, his fingers ventured under Peter’s shirt, touching the skin above the waistband of his jeans softly, brushing his calloused thumbs on his sensitive hipbones. Peter whimpered, wrapping his arms around his neck, and let Tony take the lead as he pushed him carefully towards the bed, until the back of his legs touched the mattress. His heart was beating loudly against his rib cage when he fell backwards and Tony carefully climbed on top of him, his weight pressing him down.

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” He asked, breathless, as he placed hot, wet kisses across Peter’s jaw, then down the column of his neck, hungrily. The younger boy thought that had to be the most turned on he had ever been in his life, feeling Tony’s teeth against his jugular. “Dressing like that, getting all dolled up just for me?” Peter gasped when Tony placed a leg between his, pressing his thigh against his already rock-hard cock.

“Y-yeah, yes, just for you,” Peter whimpered, feeling dizzy just from the kissing and Tony’s leg rubbing against him. “Kept waiting for you to make a move, but –“ He gasped when Tony sucked the skin where his neck met his collarbone, surely leaving a bruise behind.

“I was trying to be good.” Tony’s quick fingers ventured under his shirt, his palms dragged up Peter’s torso, the boy’s whole body caught on fire from how warm his hands were. He arched his back, giving Tony room to pull his shirt over his head. “Trying really hard not to ruin my sweet, innocent roommate.” Peter almost cried when he felt Tony’s tongue lapping at one of his oversensitive nipples, sucking it into his mouth carefully, gently, like it was the most precious thing. “You made it really fucking hard, Pete. I’m a weak man.”

“Tony,” he moaned when the older boy licked across his chest until he reached his other nipple, and Peter spread his legs, trying to find a position in which he could get more friction from the other boy’s thigh. He was comfortable with all that, it was nothing different from what he had already done with Wade, it didn’t make him nervous or anxious, just really fucking horny. “Fuck.”

“Shhh.” Tony’s lips traveled back to his mouth as his hands slid down Peter’s sides to the waistband of his jeans. “We’ll get there.” He licked his mouth open once again in another hungry kiss, as his fingers worked on undoing his pants. “These fucking jeans, I swear to fuck.” Tony kept pulling back to whisper whatever came to his mind, which Peter found amusing and endearing. “You’re such a fucking tease.”

When Tony was finally able to undo his jeans, he started dragging them down his legs, as his lips traveled down Peter’s chest and stomach, leaving bruises and wet kisses along the way, until he was wearing nothing but his boxers, and that’s when he started feeling anxious. The older boy’s lips were kissing and sucking the skin just above the waistband of his underwear, so fucking close to Peter’s cock he could practically feel the heat of his breath. His cock was so fucking hard it must be purple, he needed something, anything –

Tony mouthed at his left hipbone as his fingers dug into the flesh of Peter’s thighs and his hips buckled, trying to find some kind of relief. He felt the older boy smirking against his skin before he felt his boxers sliding down his legs slowly, and he only registered that he was completely naked when Tony sat back on his haunches at stared openly at him. He blushed and tried to cover himself, but the older boy grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the bed.

“Don’t you dare hide from me,” he whispered under his breath, his face inches away from Peter’s. “You look fucking gorgeous, Pete,” the younger boy whimpered again, accepting the rough, bruising kiss Tony placed on his lips, before he pulled away, taking his Black Sabath t-shirt off. Peter licked his lips, feeling his cock twitch as he admired Tony’s chest and abs; he had an amazing body, which Peter already knew from seeing him shirtless countless times before, but that was different. It was intimate now, Tony was undressing for him, which had a whole other meaning. The younger boy reached out, hands finally allowed to touch the tanned, heated skin and it felt smooth and firm under his fingertips.

Tony let him have his fun for a few seconds before he attacked his lips once again, one of his hands wrapped around Peter’s cock without warning and he honest to God had to hold himself back to avoid coming way, way too soon. Tony tightened his grasp on his shaft and started pumping at the same slow pace as he was kissing him, his other hand mussing Peter’s curls.

Peter tried to reach down to return the favor, but before he could, Tony slid back down where he was earlier and, again, without warning, licked the lip of Peter’s leaking cock and the boy yelped in surprise, eyes flying open. Wade had only ever given him head once and it wasn’t even that good, but the way Tony swallowed him whole, until he felt the head of his cock hitting the back of his throat was a whole different story.

“Oh, God, Tony, Tony, fuck!” He writhed on the tiny bed, the older boy’s fingers dug into his ass cheeks roughly as his head bobbed faster and faster. Peter’s feet were planted on the mattress, knees bent and hands gripping the sheets tightly, trying to keep still instead of thrusting up into the wet heat of Tony’s mouth.

He was half aware of the boy’s finger making its way into his crack and brushing against his hole, but he tried to relax, concentrating on what his mouth was doing. Tony quickened the pace as said finger pressed harder against his hole, testing, and Peter cursed under his breath, trying to relax his muscles to allow Tony entrance when he finally tried to push inside.

Again, he had to hold back not to come on the spot. He had fingered himself before and he couldn’t deny it was something he enjoyed very much, but just the thought that it was Tony’s finger inside him, Tony’s finger trying to get him ready for what was about to come later, fuck, it was really, really fucking hard to hold back.

“Tony, stop, stop, I can’t – gonna –“ He pushed the boy’s head away from his cock, no matter how badly he wanted him to keep going, otherwise it would all be over before Tony even took off his pants. The older boy got up from the bed, quickly undoing his jeans while he headed towards his messy desk. He searched one of his drawers and retrieved a small tube and a packet from there, before making his way back to the bed. He took off his pants, freeing his erection, and Peter stared, mouth watering.

Tony’s cock was fully hard and leaking, it was bigger than Peter’s own and than what he remembered Wade’s to be, which made him a little nervous. The boy climbed back into bed, between Peter’s spread legs, and kissed him slowly.

Again, Peter was only half aware of his hands shuffling and moving somewhere between his thighs, but soon he felt one wet, cold finger breaching him again, sliding in more easily than before. Tony’s finger was longer and thicker than Peter’s own, it reached deep inside him and curled in an angle that made him see stars.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Peter threw his head back and Tony immediately proceeded to suck bruises on his neck, as a second finger made its way to Peter’s crack. He braced himself on Tony’s shoulders as the second finger slid in, eyes shut and mouth hanging open in a silent moan. When both fingers were inside him and Tony’s knuckles brushed the curve of his ass, Peter tried to relax and open up as the older boy scissored his fingers, trying to stretch him.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunted, drawing out his fingers and then thrusting them in again, fucking him open, trying to set a pace. Peter felt the tips of his fingers brushing his prostate every now and again and it made him forget the burn of the stretch for a few seconds, at least until Tony pulled his fingers away completely, sitting back on the bed.

Peter watched, mesmerized and nervous, as Tony opened the condom packet with his teeth, then proceeded to roll it on his cock, giving it a few pumps once it was on. He spread more lube over the already slick condom and Peter almost drooled, watching such a pornographic scene. He positioned himself back between Peter’s legs and the younger man’s breath hitched. He closed his eyes and grasped Tony’s waist, it gave him a sense of control when the older boy held himself with one hand, guiding his shaft to Peter’s entrance.

Peter let out a painful cry when the tip of Tony’s cock finally breached him, after a bit of a struggle. The older boy stopped immediately, leaning down to kiss his lips apologetically.

“Sorry, I haven’t been with a guy in a while, didn’t mean to hurt you, sorry,” he peppered kisses on his cheeks and the younger boy shook his head, trying to to put on a brave face.

“It’s fine – just – just go slow, please,” he whispered back, holding Tony’s jaw in his hands, pulling him in for a kiss to distract him. Tony held his hips down as he kissed him back, slowly pushing himself more and more inside Peter. It burned like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t an unbearable pain, like he imagined he would feel.

Tony took his cock in one of his hands, the pleasure mixing with the pain, until the older boy’s hipbones were flush against the back of his thighs, cock fully sheathed in Peter’s hole, arms caging him into the tiny bed and his weight pushing him down into the mattress. Peter felt so fucking full and trapped and crushed, and it felt fucking amazing. He wanted to feel like that all the fucking time, crushed under Tony’s body, trapped by his arms and full of his cock.

The older boy stopped for a few minutes, peppering apologetic kisses on his face, and Peter really appreciated it, it gave him time to take a deep breath and get used to the intrusion. He wrapped his legs around his waist a minute later, pulling him closer, and Tony got the message.

The older boy kissed him deeply as he started thrusting into him; slowly at first, then picking up the face as Peter relaxed, his body opening up more easily. It was a weird feeling at first, it burned and hurt a little, but it felt mostly weird. Peter wasn’t sure how he felt about it until Tony brushed something inside him and it made him see fucking stars.

“Oh, my God, Tony!” His eyes widened as he gripped the other boy’s shoulders. He stopped immediately, startled, but Peter pushed against him, desperately. “No, no, keep going, don’t stop, please, right there, right there!” He was aware he was babbling and that he sounded like a slut, but he couldn’t really care, not when Tony buried himself deeper into him and started fucking him with abandon, his mouth leaving bruises on his throat, fingers digging into his ass. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Peter couldn’t even think straight, never knew sex could feel that good, he felt so fucking overwhelmed and – fuck –“I’m gonna – Tony, I’m--”

Tony swallowed his words in a bruising kiss as Peter went fucking blind with pleasure, coming so hard he was afraid he would pass out after. Tony fucked him through it, licking inside his mouth, grunting, thrusts becoming erratic and sloppy until he groaned loudly, buried deep inside Peter’s heat. He collapsed on top of the younger boy’s smaller body, but quickly rolled off, mindful of his weight. He seemed to gather the last of his energy to pull him to his chest, before essentially passing out, followed closely by a blissed out Peter.

When Peter woke up the next day, he was lying in Tony’s tiny bed, with his head resting on his chest and the older boy’s arms wrapped protectively around his waist. He smiled to himself, feeling silly and happy, even if a little sore. He lied awake for almost two hours, basking in the morning sunlight coming through the window before Tony started to stir. He seemed a little confused when he blinked his eyes open and saw Peter there, but then a smile spread across his lips and he placed a kiss on the younger boy’s head.

“Morning, munchkin.” His voice was raspy and rough, but his fingers rubbed his back softly.

“I think it’s afternoon, actually,” Peter replied, cheekily, and Tony just smiled, tugging his hair a little, before placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

“Details.”

Peter was unsure about what was going to happen from then on, but in the end, he didn’t have to worry, he just followed Tony’s lead. Behind the closed door of their dorm room, it felt like their own little world, where nothing could touch them. Peter rushed back everyday, eager to meet the older boy, and he was never disappointed by the reception. Tony always greeted him with a slow, deep kiss and an “I missed you” whispered into the top of his head. He was caring, attentive and so, so sweet. They never slept in separate beds, he woke Peter up with soft kisses on the back of his neck and he always made sure he was well fed and well rested.

And the sex – Peter couldn’t get over how amazing it was and how much better it got each day, specially after Tony found out he had inadvertently taken Peter’s virginity that fateful night. It was two days after the party and Peter was still feeling a bit sore when they were making out in his bed that night. He felt one of Tony’s fingers sliding towards his crack and he tensed a little, bracing himself for the burn that would follow if Tony tried to push inside.

“Hey, are you okay?” He whispered against his lips, frowning. “Don’t you wanna do this?”

“No, I do, I do, sorry, I’m just – I’m still a little sore from Saturday?” He answered sheepishly and Tony’s eyes widened a bit, as he pulled away to take a better look at Peter.

“Still? Fuck, Pete, did I hurt you?” He tried to sit up, but Peter held him by the shoulders, keeping him in bed.

“It’s okay, I looked it up, it’s normal.” He tried to calm the older boy, but he still looked alarmed.

“It’s not normal, it’s been two days, you shouldn’t still be feeling sore.” He retorted, trying to sit up again, so Peter let him, then sat by his side.

“I’m just not used to it, I –“ He took a deep breath, watching the confusion growing on the older boy’s face. “It was my first time.” He finally admitted, feeling his cheeks burning hot as he tried to avoid the Tony’s gaze.

“First time? First time doing what?” He asked, confused, and Peter just remained silent until he heard him gasp in surprise. “Your first time bottoming?”

“Uhm. Yeah. Just first time in general, I guess?” Peter turned to look at him and he would have laughed at Tony’s stunned face if he wasn’t so nervous he could cry.

“Peter, what the fuck!” He threw his arms up in exasperation and the younger boy dropped his gaze, embarrassment, shame and regret mixing in the pit of his stomach.

“It’s not a big deal,” he mumbled, pulling the sheets to cover his naked body. He felt way too vulnerable and exposed as it was.

“It’s kind of a big deal to me!”

“Please, don’t be mad, I didn’t want to say anything because I thought –“ He shut up when he felt Tony’s hand under his chin, forcing him to face him. He still looked a little agitated, but he took a deep breath and cupped Peter’s face with his hands.

“Babe, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m not mad, I just – I wish you had told me. I wouldn’t have been so forward if I knew, I just assumed – you always talked about your ex, Wade? Weren’t you together for like, two years or something?” Tony frowned, genuinely confused, and Peter licked his lips nervously, nodding his head.

“Yeah, almost.” He looked into Tony’s brown eyes and the older boy narrowed them.

“And you never…?”

“Uhm, we just fooled around, you know. Hand jobs and blow jobs in his car. I was really young, like, I was sixteen when he left for college. And I don’t know, it just never felt right.” Peter shrugged and Tony kept looking at him as if he had given birth to a three headed spider.

“And it felt right with me? God, Pete, did you feel pressured or something? I swear, I never woul –”

“Tony, relax, it felt right, more than right, ok? It was perfect.” It was his time to hold the older boy by his jaw, forcing him to face him. He smiled sweetly at him. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t feel it was right. Ok?” Tony looked like he was about to argue, but he swallowed his words and sighed, staring back at Peter intently, before covering his hands with his own. He closed the distance between them and kissed him gently.

“I really wish you would have told me,” he whispered against Peter’s lips, pulling away just enough for their eyes to meet.

“Yeah? What would you have done differently?” Peter smirked, arching one brow, and Tony gave him his trademark, lopsided grin.

“I created a monster.”

It all happened inside their room. Outside, it was as if nothing had changed. They still went to classes and met their friends whenever they could, everybody still seemed to think they were just friends, only Natasha gave him a knowing look when they met for the first time after the party. Peter figured it was sensible, not to tell people yet. Tony had just broken up with Pepper and they were just starting to see each other romantically, they didn’t need other people meddling in their business and making it more complicated.

They had two quiet, peaceful weeks together. Like Peter imagined, they didn’t fight, they respected each other’s time and space, he could sense when Tony needed to be alone and when he needed to cuddle. They spent a lot of time together, but there were no hard feelings if either of them wanted some time apart.

They were having a lazy Sunday morning in bed, kissing slowly as they got down from the high of good morning sex, making plans about their road trip back home in just a couple of weeks. Tony planned all these detours that would get them to New York in three days instead of four hours and Peter really wanted to see May as soon as possible, but he also wanted to be there for Tony, so he just agreed to the crazy itinerary.

Things started heating up again when lazy kisses turned into heated ones, and hands roamed freely underneath the sheets. Peter rolled on top of Tony, straddling his hips, he was still loose from their lovemaking earlier, so he took Tony’s cock in his hand and guided it directly towards his entrance without any prep.

And then, there was a loud knock on the door.

“Tony, open up.” Tony practically threw Peter to the floor when he heard Pepper’s voice. The younger boy was able to avoid falling on his butt by cushioning the fall with his hands, but it sent a sharp pain up his left wrist. “What’s all this noise? Is anyone there with you?”

“Uhm, hold on! It’s just Peter – he’s, uh, changing. Wait a second!” Tony stared at Peter with pleading eyes as he helped him to his feet, but the younger boy was having none of it, he shoved Tony away with one hand, cradling the other close to his chest.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” he whispered, as he looked around for his underwear, feeling hurt by how frantic Tony looked just from hearing Pepper’s voice. He opened the window, probably hoping the smell of sex wouldn’t be too strong, and quickly started to get dressed. Once they were both presentable, Peter sat at his desk and Tony yanked the door open.

“Hey, Pep,” he greeted, leaning against the doorway and Peter scoffed behind him. “What are you doing here?”

“I just, I was – I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” She asked, peeking inside the room, acknowledging Peter’s presence for the first time then. “Hey, Pete. Could you give us a minute, please?”

The younger man looked from Tony to Pepper to Tony again. He expected the older boy to tell him to stay, to say they should all have that conversation together, because he was with Peter now, but Tony just shot him a pleading look and the boy sighed, nodding at Pepper.

“Yeah, sure, I gotta – I’m going,” he gave her a strained smile, as he got up from the chair and brushed past Tony without looking at his face.

As soon as he walked out, Pepper closed the door behind him, and he really, really meant to go somewhere, he even walked a few feet towards the exit, but then went back. What if Tony called him? What if he was gonna tell Pepper, and then he needed him for that conversation? For whatever reason, he sat with his back to the wall, across from their room.

He couldn’t hear them, they weren’t shouting, he wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad sign, but he preferred not to guess. He just sat there for almost two hours until Pepper emerged, Tony right behind her. Peter got to his feet, getting ready to apologize to Pepper and maybe try to explain things, like how nothing happened while she was still with Tony, so she wasn’t cheated on or anything.

He froze on the spot, though, when she turned around and pecked Tony on the lips and left with a casual wave in his direction, leaving the older boy staring at him from across the hall. Peter remained silent, confused by what he had just seen – maybe he had misunderstood what happened, maybe it was just a friendly goodbye?

“Pete.” Tony drew in a breath, like he was about to say something, but then just fell silent.

“What?” He asked, aware that he sounded a little desperate, a little breathless, but he couldn’t help it, his mind was running wild. “What, Tony?” He insisted when the older boy didn’t say anything. He leaned on the doorway, rubbing his face, looking for words – looking for the right words to let him down easy, Peter realized. “Say it. Just say it.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to–“ he started, but Peter cut him off.

“Don’t be a fucking coward, don’t you dare make excuses, just fucking say it!” He took the few steps that separated them to stand right before Tony and the older boy couldn’t avoid looking at him. He looked devastated and lost, like he didn’t want to say the words that came next, but he did it anyway.

“I’m back with Pepper.” Peter felt like he had been punched in the stomach, he felt breathless and like he was about to throw up. He crossed his arms over his chest, like he could hold himself together to prevent falling apart, but couldn’t help the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks.

“And you’re done with me,” he whispered, taking a few steps back. Tony didn’t follow.

“It’s not like that.” He dropped his gaze, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“What is it like, then, Tony?” He insisted, and he knew he was making a scene, he knew he was drawing it out way longer than Tony probably wanted, but if nothing else, he deserved that. Closure. Answers. “What, nothing? Not even a ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?’ I’ll take anything, come on.” Predictably, Tony remained silent, eyes cast down. “Did you even tell her about us? Or was I not worth mentioning?”

“I never meant to get you in the middle of this, Pete, which is why I tried so hard not to do anything about – about this uncontrollable pull you have over me, I never meant to hurt you.” He pleaded and there was honesty in his face, in his voice, but still Peter couldn’t believe a word he said.

“Then why are you?”

There was no answer for several minutes, no chase as he walked away.

***

Pepper said sorry, which was new. Usually, whenever they fought, it was always Tony going after her making promises and asking for forgiveness, not the other way around – which was why he honestly, sincerely, genuinely thought they were done for good that time around, because he really had no intention of calling her. He did not count on her coming after him, crying and saying she was in the wrong.

He looked at her that day and he still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He still thought she was the most brilliant person he had ever met, the best friend he had ever had, but – something was off. Different. He listened to her talk about how they could change together, how they could be better for each other, and he wanted that for them – for years, and years, and years, he was so sure they would be together forever, Pepper was it for him, but as he heard her speak about the future, his mind wandered.

He tuned her out as he thought about Peter’s eyes. Not sharp, blue eyes – soft, honey-like brown eyes, paired with an equally soft, boyish smile; pretty, pink lips; blushing, freckled cheeks. He thought about his hair. Not straight, impeccable hair – crazy, wild curls that touched the tip of his ears and the nape of his neck when they were tamed, and pointed in every direction on any given morning. As Pepper made plans about their future, he thought about the past few weeks. Getting used to the smell of Peter’s skin on his sheets, to the sight of him walking around in his clothes, to the sound of his giggles when Tony said something stupid.

And then he looked at Pepper. The love of his life. Right? The woman he was supposed be with, the girl who stood by his side through all of his teenage years, through thick and thin, who opened her window for him and let him find refuge in her arms when everywhere else felt suffocating. He remembered what being completely and utterly in love with her felt like. All-consuming and blinding – wasn’t that how love was supposed to be? He wasn’t sure anymore, it wasn’t how he felt about her in a long time, but Peter –

Peter, with his annoyingly cute nose and chirpy, high pitched voice. Tony remembered meeting him for the first time and thinking about all the things he’d do to him if wasn’t with Pepper. He remembered feeling tempted all the fucking time, tempted to reach out and touch him, feel him, fucking smother him with kisses and then pound him into the mattress. But he couldn’t do anything. He saw the way the boy looked at him, it wasn’t just lust for him, he could tell. He knew that look and he couldn’t give him what he wanted.

Until he did. And it felt good and right, but –

But there was Pepper, looking expectantly at him with tears in her eyes, waiting for an answer. And what else could he say to her?

“Of course, love. I’m sorry for what I said, too. I love you.”

Coming out of that room and facing Peter was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He saw the exact moment when it dawned on him that Tony was leaving him, and it broke his heart. He wanted to reach out and hold him, console him, but he knew he wouldn’t be welcome, so he just stood there, kept his distance, not knowing what to say to make it better.

Peter was avoiding him. Had been for a week. He left the room early in the morning and only came back late at night, never saying a word to him. Their friends noticed, but they stopped asking when Tony snapped at Bruce, telling him it was none of his goddamned business. Natasha kicked him in the balls two days after he broke up with Peter – was it weird that he was relieved to feel pain? He felt like he finally got what he deserved, even though he couldn’t walk for hours after that.

They were only a week away from the summer break and Tony had hope that maybe a few months apart would be enough to heal some of the wounds. But he just couldn’t help thinking about the summer they wouldn’t have, the road trip they wouldn’t take, the snuggles he wouldn’t get in Peter’s tiny bed in Queens.

Now, more than ever, he dreaded going home.

“Holy fuck, is that Parker?” Someone shouted over the music, the person sounded drunk and amused, the mention of Peter’s name had Tony turning away from the beer-pong match to search the crowd for the familiar face. The party was in full swing, loud and annoying pop music was playing in the background, the lights were off and the only thing illuminating the rooms were the street lights coming in through the open windows and the red lights scattered around the frat house. Tony looked in the general direction of the living room and almost fell on his butt in surprise when he saw that scene.

World class asshole Quentin Beck sat on the couch with a lap full of a clearly drunk Peter, the boy was kissing him sloppily and grinding against him like there was no tomorrow, and Beck kept smirking and running his filthy paws all over his thighs and hips, until finally they grabbed Peter’s ass cheeks and squeezed, pulling him closer.

People were howling and cat-calling, at least two assholes – Flash and Osborne – were filming the whole thing with their phones, Peter seemed completely unaware of what was going on all around him – he’d be mortified if he was sober, he was so shy, he hated drawing attention to himself, he’d never do any of that in front of so many people. So of course Tony had to intervene, no matter how mad the younger boy was at him.

“Get your hands off of him!” He shouted, grabbing Peter by the arm and yanking him away from Beck. For at least ten seconds, everything went silent except for the music, everyone went quiet, watching the scene, as Beck’s face went from confused to pissed off. Before he could say anything, though, Peter beat him to the punch.

“Get your hands off of me, Tony! What do you think you’re doing!?” He yelled, trying to free his thin wrist from his strong grip, but the older boy didn’t let him go. He couldn’t. He couldn’t let Peter go back to that – that disgusting excuse of a man’s arms. He deserved better.

“Shut up, you’re drunk, you’ll thank me tomorrow.” He barely spared him a glance, still holding his wrist tight, then he turned to Beck. “And you stay away from him, you piece of shit.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Stark? You’re not his dad, if he wants to ride my dick right here in front of everybody, what is it to you?” He got up from the couch and got all up in Tony’s face, which would be more than enough to make him lose his shit on any given day, but the way he talked about Peter only served to fuel his rage.

He didn’t even think, he pulled his arm back the punched his nose with all of his weight, sending him right back to the couch, blood gushing down his face.

“Motherfucker!” Then all hell broke loose.

Tony wasn’t sure about the particulars of what happened, it happened so fucking fast, one minute he was staring at Beck’s bloody face, the next he was being punched in the gut by one of his friends – Osborne, maybe – as someone held him from behind. Rodhey came to his rescue, pushing the guy who was punching him, then Steve and Bucky showed up to help, Beck got up from the couch and they all started throwing punches and kicks and he was pretty sure he ended up kicking Rogers in the face at some point, but –

“Stop! Fucking stop! What the fuck are you doing!?” Peter got in between him and Beck, pushing both of their chests, and Tony stopped immediately, afraid to hurt him, but Beck didn’t even care, landing a blow on his eye and Peter fell backwards right into Bucky’s arms. Tony was sure he was unconscious, the force of the impact mixed with his drunken state were enough to make him lose conscience. He turned back to Beck even more pissed.

“You’re a dead man, you motherfucker!”

Again, he had no idea how long the whole thing lasted, he was way too pissed and way too drunk to keep track, but at some point they were all kicked out of the house. Beck and his goons scurried away, and Tony kept shouting that next time he saw them he’d fucking murder them.

“Tony, stop, Peter is hurt, we have to take him back to the dorms.” Steve looked worried and Tony quickly turned to look at Bucky, who still had Peter in his arms. He was out could, his damp curls covered his forehead and part of his eyebrows, but he could see a purple bruise forming and swelling on his right eye.

“Fuck, is he okay? Should he be sleeping? Should we take him to the hospital?” He was sure he sounded frantic and desperate, but Rhodey just rolled his eyes.

“He’s fine, Tony, it was just a punch, despite what you believe, Peter is not a delicate flower, he will survive. Come on, he just needs to sleep it off. He’s gonna feel like shit in the morning, though.” Rhodey gestured towards Tony’s sports car and Bucky and Steve headed in that direction with Peter. Before Tony could follow, though, Rhodey held him back. “Tony, what the fuck was that, man?”

“What do you mean? Did you not see what that idiot was doing to Peter?” He looked at his best friend as if he had grown a second head.

“He seemed to be enjoying it just fine, Tony, why the hell did you get in the middle of that?” He was trying to keep it down, but he was clearly agitated.

“He wasn’t enjoying it! He wasn’t – he wouldn’t – he was too fucking drunk to consent! And – and they were mocking him! Filming him, making jokes, and – and –” Tony wasn’t unreasonable, he did the right thing, he would have done it again, no matter what Rhodey said.

“Okay, okay, you don’t need to convince me what you did was completely okay, I’m surprisingly used to your shit, but you will have to convince Pepper and Peter that this shit you pulled wasn’t absolutely ridiculous and uncalled for.” He stabbed a finger in his chest and walked away towards Tony’s car, as the other teen ran his hands through his hair, huffing.

“Fuck me.”

It was way past noon when Peter woke up the next day and Tony winced just to watch him try to open his eyes. He had made sure that the drapes were closed so the room was mostly dark, but Peter’s left eye was swollen shut, his head was most certainly killing him. Tony got up from his bed, grabbed the Advil and the glass of water he’d set aside for the younger man and rushed to his side.

“Hey, Pete, how’s the head?” He whispered, sitting beside him on his bed. The night before, by the time they managed to get back to the dorms, Peter was awake again. He reluctantly let Tony give him a shower to sober up some, but refused vehemently when the offered to sleep in his bed in case he needed anything during the night. They didn’t have a chance to talk, though. They hadn’t talked in over a week, actually.

“I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck,” he muttered, deciding not to open his eyes after all.

“Here, take some Advil.” Tony helped him raise his head a little and placed the pill on his tongue, washing it down with a little of water. Peter rested back against the pillow and fell silent again, the older boy wasn’t sure if he’d fallen back asleep. He watched the angelic face for a minute, the same rage that filled him the day before burned inside him again as he observed the horrible bruise marring his face. He was gonna kill Beck, sure, but he couldn’t help feeling guilty. “How much do you remember about yesterday?” He whispered, in case Peter was sleeping, but the younger man opened his good eye and stared at Tony.

“Everything,” he answered, just as quietly as Tony had spoken. The older boy dropped his gaze, gulping, thinking about new ways to apologize to Peter, it seemed these days he was always trying to apologize and trying to make things better between them. “Why did you do that, Tony?”

“Didn’t you hear the way he talked about you?” Tony frowned, Peter couldn’t be serious.

“I did, and I’m a big boy, I can handle myself, I don’t need you to throw punches to protect my honor,” he whispered, rubbing at his forehead, and Tony was reminded not to raise his voice.

“He was taking advantage of you,” he argued, watching Peter narrow his good eye.

“He wasn’t,”

“Did you want to sleep with him?” His voice came out higher and louder than he meant, which made Peter wince.

“Yes, I did,” he answered, staring straight at Tony.

“Okay, fine, then, do what you will.” He got up from Peter’s bed and started pacing the floor, Peter couldn’t be fucking serious, he couldn’t – he was a virgin just a few weeks earlier, now, what, he was willing to fuck any brainless dick who came on to him?

“Yeah, I fucking will, I don’t need your permission, asshole,” he actually raised his voice a little and, fuck, Tony had no fucking right to fucking – Peter wasn’t his.

“Fine, whatever, see if I care.” He stalked to the door, slamming it loudly on his way out.

Pepper didn’t want to drive home, let alone make a road trip out of it, she wanted to be in New York as soon as possible, so she bought a plane ticked for an early fight on the first day of summer break and Tony woke at ass o’clock in the morning to drive her to the airport.

As he got dressed, he watched Peter sleep. He didn’t hear him come in the night before, he hadn’t seen him in a few days, but somehow he was all packed up to go home. Tony begged Natasha to tell him his plans and she reluctantly told him that he would take the 11AM bus back to New York.

He felt like an asshole, couldn’t stop thinking about their last conversation, how he managed to hurt the younger boy even more, he didn’t even think it was possible. He wanted to apologize, but every time he approached him, he walked away, pretended he didn’t even see him. His eye had healed some, it was still blue-ish, but at least it wasn’t swollen anymore.

That morning, the first day of summer break, the day they were supposed to leave for their road trip, he slept peacefully and Tony envied him. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks.

He finished getting dressed then went to pick Pepper up. He helped her put her bags in the truck and started driving, as she talked about all she had planned for the summer. Family dinners with the Potts, family dinners with the Starks, galas – for networking purposes, according to her –, a weekend at her parents’ house in the Hamptons and few parties with their old friends from school – Rhodey was coming, too.

Somehow, he wasn’t looking forward to any of that, not even a little bit. He kept thinking how he’d rather spend his days in a tiny bed in Queens, cuddling, eating pizza, building Legos and laughing at nothing in particular.

“Tony, are you listening to me?” When he turned to look at Pepper, he realized they had arrived at the airport, his car was parked and he had been staring into nothing for a few seconds. “I said give me a call when you get home, okay?” She was looking at him a little worriedly, a frown on her forehead, and he didn’t want to call her when he arrived, he didn’t even want to go home, not without Peter.

“I think I don’t love you anymore.” He told her, bluntly, then felt like an asshole when she pulled back like she’d been punched in the face. “I’m so sorry.”

“You think so or you know so?” She asked, and she didn’t look surprised, just – disappointed. Exhausted.

“I know so,” he whispered, watching her sigh as she stared out the windshield. He hated that lately he seemed to be breaking the hearts of everyone he loved. His life was a mess, he was a mess, and no matter how hard he tried to do the right thing, he always seemed to get it wrong.

“I guess I’ve known that for a while. Just didn’t want to believe it was true.” Her face was dry and her voice was steady, but he’d known her for way too long to be be fooled.

“Me neither.” He whispered, gripping the wheel and looking at his lap. It was silent for several minutes, he didn’t know what to say to her, everything sounded wrong and patronizing in his head.

“I have a plane to catch,” she finally said, opening the door, and without thinking, Tony’s hand flew to hold her arm.

“Can we talk? Later?” He pleaded, fucking terrified that her answer would be no. They were friends for so long, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in his life. She gave him a sweet, small smile, though.

“Yeah, sure.” Pepper made to get out of the car again, but the older boy stopped her one more time.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him and he took a deep breath.

“I do love you, you know that right? Just –“

“Yeah, I know. Me too.”

Tony drove back like a madman, heart pounding, thinking of the things he needed to say to Peter, the right words to mend the things that were broken. When he got to their room, though, at around 9AM, it was empty, Peter was nowhere to be found. In his panic, he didn’t even notice that his bags were still by the bed, he thought he’d left already, left without him. He ran his hands through his hair and turned around, ready rush outside and look for Natasha and beg her to tell him where Peter had gone, maybe could still reach him, but when he did, he saw the younger boy standing in the doorway.

“Pete,” he cried in relief, but the brunette was still giving him the cold shoulder, so he didn’t say anything, just headed towards his desk and started gathering some books. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

“You’ve said that already.” He didn’t even turn to look at Tony, so the older boy walked closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I fucked up.” His hand slid down Peter’s lean, toned bicep, tugging it softly to turn him around. He did, albeit reluctantly.

“Tell me something new.” When he finally looked at Tony, he pretended to be bored, but the older boy could see in his eyes that he was curious.

“I shouldn’t have left you. I made a mistake, I thought –“ Before Tony could go on, Peter started laughing incredulously, eyes wide.

“What, has Pepper dumped you already?! I thought you guys had three months long cycles, at least, this is a new record.” He shook his head, turning back to his desk. “I’m not playing your game anymore, go find somebody else to string along.”

“I don’t want anybody else.” Tony grabbed him again, trying to get him to turn, but Peter yanked his arm away.

“Tough luck, then. I gotta go.” He ignored the rest of the things on the desk and hurried to his bags by the bed.

“Peter, please. I made a mistake.” Tony placed himself in front of the bags with his hands up, trying to buy some more time, and Peter huffed impatiently.

“What happens when you wake up tomorrow and realize I’m the mistake?” He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the older boy. “I trusted you, I gave you everything and you took it for granted, you just fucking up and left when Pepper snapped her fingers. Seriously, Tony, do you even know what you’re asking me?”

“That’s not – I’m – Pete, come on. I’m only asking for a second chance. That’s all.” He begged, trying to hold the younger boy’s hands, but he stepped away. Peter was fucking right and if he had any sense of self respect, he would not get back together with Tony, but fuck, he had to try. He had to try, because Peter was right, he was fucking right for him.

“And I’m saying no, Tony. I don’t trust you not to hurt me again.” He shook his head, arms firmly crossed over his chest.

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Tony insisted, trying to get closer to the younger boy, but every step he took forward, Peter took a step back.

“Then what are you asking?” He tilted his head to the side, mouth set in a straight line, and Tony sighed, running his hands through his hair almost desperately. What the fuck was he asking?

“I’m asking you to let me drive you home.” He blurted out, still trying to approach Peter, and he was finally successful when he got trapped between Tony and his desk.

“And then what?” He raised his chin, defiantly, and Tony dared to touch the side of his face gently. Peter didn’t pull away, but he didn’t lean into the touch either.

“And then let me show you that I’m serious about you, that despite the fact that I’m a fucking mess and nothing in my life makes sense or feels right, you do. You do, you fall into place and fit all the empty spaces and you make me feel whole and less of a train wreck. I know I fucked up and I hurt you and I broke the trust you placed in me, and I’m not asking for you to forget what I did and go right back to where we were, I’m just asking for a second chance to start over. I promise I’m not gonna need a third, I fucking swear. Please. Please. Let me drive you home.”

Tony knew he sounded desperate, and that was because he was. That was the most open he had even been about his feelings and he suddenly remembered Pepper’s words from their last fight. “You’re gonna end up alone, Tony, I mean it. If you don’t learn how to let others in, you’ll be lonely and bitter, and it’s gonna be all your own damn fault!” Tony didn’t want to be alone. And he didn’t want to swallow his feelings anymore. He just needed Peter to see that he was willing to try, that he wanted to change.

The younger man looked at him with wide eyes, apparently surprised by Tony’s honesty and the amount of words he had vomited. He bit his bottom lip and averted his gaze. Tony dropped his hand from his face and took a few steps back, sensing his answer, and maybe Peter was doing the right thing for himself, nobody deserved to be caught in the middle of Tony’s fucking mess, no one should have to deal with –

“I get to drive your car at least two hours a day.” The boy muttered, raising his eyes to meet his gaze again, and Tony’s heart raced.

“Yes, of course, as many hours as you want.” He nodded several times, not sure what exactly he was agreeing to.

“We’ll get separate beds at each motel we stop. No funny business until I say so.” Tony thought he might throw up from excitement, he kept nodding like a moron, as he stepped closer, but Peter kept a straight face, although there was a slight, barely there tilt to his lips.

“Obviously, yeah. Sure.” Tony stopped right before the younger boy and he leaned his head back a little to look him in the eyes.

“If you’re staying over with me back home, you’ll have to sleep on the floor, no snuggling in my bed.” He poked his chest with a finger and Tony’s face fell.

“But I –“

“Tony!”

“Yes, sir, whatever you want, yes. I’ll sleep on the floor.” He quickly agreed, trying not to push his luck, and that seemed to appease the younger boy, who gave him a satisfied nod. Tony just stood there, right in front of him, and so fucking close he could almost taste his sweet skin on his lips. “Is that all?”

“If you break my heart again, I’m sicking Nat on you.” Again, he poked a finger in his chest and Tony readily grabbed his skinny hand, holding it to his heart.

“Deal, I promise you won’t have to do that, I won’t disappoint you.” He stared right into Peter’s eyes and tried to make him see how much he meant every word. “Can I kiss you now?”

Peter looked at him for a few seconds, before leaning up to kiss him. Tony eagerly closed his eyes, hands falling to his waist to hold him close, when he felt those soft, thin lips touching his cheek, just to the side of his anxious mouth.

“Ask me again in a couple of days.” When Tony opened his eyes again, Peter was grinning as he pulled away and, yeah, Tony could wait his whole fucking life to kiss him again. “C’mon, let’s go, you did promise to take me home.”

As he watched the younger boy gathering his stuff to leave, his heart was filled with a weird feeling, something he wasn’t used too. It took him a while to realize he was happy and fucking excited to go with him. For the first time ever, he didn’t dread going home.

“It’s not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you"

(Maroon 5 – Won’t go home without you)

#starker #peter parker x tony stark #ironspider

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

Note

Ok so like I’m big dumb and have been stalking your blog for hours and just realized the tua should be pronounced like too ripppp anygays I absolutely fucking love and live for your writing and have a question for you (feel free to ignore it this is your blog!),,,,what do you think would’ve happened if Klaus had died instead of Ben.

asdfgDFSGH okay big mood but admittedly I pronounce as in too-ah deep myself lmao

HMMM that’s an interesting question because if Klaus died, he would just vanish. No one can see him, because he’s the only person that ever saw ghosts to begin with. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around, does it still make a sound? If a boy becomes a ghost, but no one can see him, does he really exist?

You have Ben, who doesn’t numb himself with drugs but also probably withdraws from the rest of the family. Klaus used to coax smiles out of him, and Five used to throw books at his dead and demand Ben discuss metaphysics with him. Admittedly different relationships, but they were the ones that held him together. And then Five vanishes. And then Klaus dies.

And Ben is well enough liked by the rest of the family, but he’s not really close with any of them. Luther and Allison are too obsessed with one another, Diego is too obsessed with beating Luther at anything, and Vanya is a ghost that only Five ever really reached.

Ben leaves the day he hits eighteen. He doesn’t tell anyone, he just leaves. He quietly finds the shittiest apartment on earth, works two jobs, and puts himself through community college during the time he doesn’t have. He changes his name. He keeps the Ben, but ditches the Hargreeves.

He keeps his head down, he works hard, he never mentions the Umbrella Academy and he spends his nights with his hands pressed against his stomach wishing that his ‘superpower’ was anything but what it is.

He’s a bright kid. He makes friends. He doesn’t have the money for med school, which he wanted since he desperately wants to heal instead of hurt, so he compromises and goes into nursing instead. He gets to help people just as much, and he doesn’t have to deal with the staggering amount of debt he would be in. (He’s still in debt from schooling, just not as much.)

Ben works long thankless hours. He holds the hands of an addict whose organs are failing. There’s nothing the doctors can do but ease the young woman’s suffering. He sees Klaus in the eyes of the desperate young people who come in, and he rolls up his sleeves and tries to help.

Vanya write her tell-all book, and Ben reads it as carefully as he did the various tomes that Five tossed at him so he would know what Five was yelling about this time. He traces his fingers across Klaus and Five’s names as they appear, and he pretends he isn’t angry that Vanya just pulled back the curtain and exposed their gaping wounds for all the world to see.

Five and Klaus are not props in Vanya’s coming of age story. They are background characters killed off for development. Ben understands that Vanya is angry, that she was abused, but he wishes she could see that this wasn’t the way to go about it

(Ben understands now, that Vanya was abused. He sees her, sometimes, in the people who float through the hospital with scars on their arms and legs and stomachs. The ones who stare right through the doctors and look away when their very concerned parents speak up. He sees her in the young man whose father yells for all the ED to hear that he is selfish, that he needs to be more like his older brothers who are successful. The father is escorted out, but the young man checks himself out against medical advice. Ben never sees him again.)

He isn’t as impacted by the book as perhaps the others are. No one knows what happened to the Horror. Ben isn’t questioned about it, because no one knows that they should question him about it. He watches the youtube videos of Allison getting accosted by paparazzi and wonders if Vanya knew what she was doing when she published that book.

Somehow, he doubts it.

He adopts two cats. Their names are Séance and Boy. Ben calls them Seya and Brat. His friends ask him if he was a fan of the Umbrella Academy growing up, and Ben shakes his head with a wry smile. “My brothers,” He explains, “They were always more into it than I was.”

And then Reginald dies, and there’s going to be a funeral, and Ben doesn’t want to go. But he thinks about the siblings he never calls, thinks about the hospital room with the old man who is dying who told him with a bitter smile that he never mended any bridges, and picks up his phone. Ben applies for time off due to a death in the family, is granted it, gives his spare key to the girl across the hall who has vowed to take care of Seya and Brat as if they’re her own, and he goes. He goes to the manor for the first time since he left it, over a decade ago.

He almost thinks it’s his power at first, that something went terribly wrong because he hasn’t let out the Horror for a good long while and the flash of electric blue was unmistakable. But it’s not him, and the portal in the courtyard spits out a child and Ben’s hand shoots to his mouth and it’s shaking because that’s Five. That’s Five the day he left, all scrawny limbs and drama, in a too big suit.

He ushers Five inside, and gets down some bread to hand to his brother who already has the peanut butter and marshmallows well in hand. (Ben wonders, for a moment, why those ingredients are in the house to begin with. He’s positive Reginald doesn’t like marshmallows, after all. But he has more important things to worry about right now, so he lets that thought go.)

He listens as Five tells them they have eight days, and he believes. Four-Five-Six have always had more nebulous powers that the first three children combined. Strength, mind control, and knife throwing are surprisingly straight forward. Ghosts, dimension ripping tentacle monsters, and fucking with the fabric of space and time are… not so much.

Ben looks at his siblings, who have changed so much and yet so little, and decides that priorities are in order. Because as much as he cares for his siblings, and he does, they’re all grown ass adults. Despite what he says, Five looks very young and Ben has seen too many children with the same haunted eyes and sharp words.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this there’s an open window, and Pogo saying something about a missing box or a book or something, but admittedly Ben isn’t paying all that much attention. Not when he has bigger things to worry about

And Five has a choice between Vanya, who he loves but doesn’t want to drag into his general bullshit because she doesn’t have powers, and Ben who is a nurse and who seems most inclined to believe him. So after the Griddy’s incident, he goes back to the manor and Ben stitches him up with steady, experienced hands and asks Five what he can do to help

Five looks almost surprised. “You believe me?” He asks, suspicious lacing his voice. It makes something inside of Ben ache, but he blames it on the Horror.

“I’ll tell you what.” Ben says, looking Five in the eyes. “I’ll make you a deal - I’ll help you with anything apocalypse stopping, no questions asked.”

“But?” Five asks, but he sounds less suspicious and more comfortable with terms on the table. Their family isn’t used to unconditional support, after all.

“Come stay with me after we save the world.” Ben requests, and holds up a hand before Five can protest. “Yes, I know you aren’t a child. I know you can take care of yourself. But quite frankly, I’ve been missing my brother for almost seventeen years now, and I don’t have anyone to debate the finer points of mathematics with at three in the morning, do I?”

I don’t want to let you go now that I have you back. Ben doesn’t say, because he’s already pushing Five’s ability to deal with sentiment as it is.

Five’s eyes look suspiciously wet as he looks away, but he spits out a quick “Fine.” and they shake on it.

And so Ben ends up accompanying his brother to MeriTech to check out a serial number on the back of an eyeball. He places a calming hand on his brother’s shoulder, and calls in a favor with a doctor who he prevented from killing a patient who talks to a friend of a friend and they find out that the eyeball they have hasn’t been manufactured yet.

And hey, if Ben didn’t believe the whole time travel thing before he certainly does now, looking at an impossible eyeball in the hands of an impossible boy.

And Ben is a trustworthy ally, level-headed with enough deadpan humor to make even Five snort in laughter. Ben cherishes even aborted giggle close to his heart.

Five comes to him with a shy look and introduces him to a mannequin named Dolores. Ben thinks about the little girl with the spiral fracture telling him solemnly that she wasn’t scared but Mr. Hippo was, and he thinks about all the years that Five spent alone, and he gently takes Dolores’s hand in his and thanks her very much for looking after his brother all those years.

Five blinks in surprise, but it’s a good kind of surprise, and he’s notably warmer towards Ben after the interaction.

It reminds him, just a little bit, of Klaus before Reginald ruined him. The way he’d occasionally just talk to thin air or react to something that no one else could hear. It makes Ben oddly nostalgic, and probably means that he’s much more tolerant of Five’s interactions with Dolores than he should be.

Ben is with Five when Hazel and Cha-Cha storm the mansion. Luther and Allison and Diego hold their own with knives and kicks and the destruction of one chandelier. No one is taken, no one is kidnapped, because there wasn’t anyone just getting out of the bath with headphones in to catch unexpected.

Eudora Patch listens to Diego tell her that his mother is dead, and that his brothers are running off together to who knows where, and she doesn’t find a message on a van’s window and go to rescue a hostage. Detective Eudora Patch lives to fight another day.

Five scribbles probability maps on his walls and tells his audience of Luther and Ben that he plans to kill to save the world. Luther gets up in arms about it, but Ben just stares Five down and quietly tells him - “You promised.”

Because Five can’t stay with him if he’s in jail.

And Five looks away and says there is one way to get more information, and Ben can already tell he’s not going to like this.

They don’t have a suitcase to bargain with this time, so Five offers himself. He tells Hazel and Cha-Cha to meet him, because he’s decided to give himself up in return for them leaving his family alone. They get there, and they’re having a stand off, and Five demands that the assassin duo call the Handler.

Between one breath and the next, Five vanishes. Not like he’s supposed to vanish, in a flash of blue light. Just gone between one blink and the next.

Ben may or may not be responsible for the ensuing destruction of Hazel and Cha-Cha’s car and subsequently their briefcase which was located within said car. In his defense, it had been a while since he last drove out to the middle of nowhere and let the Horror go ham. And if, in this timeline, it’s Hazel who gets taken hostage because Ben is furious and he’s not losing his brother again, and Cha-Cha figures she’ll bust her partner out later but for not retreating is a wise move well

“Call your boss back.” Ben says, voice tight as he stares holes through a Hazel that Luther has helpfully tied up with some rope from the trunk of the car. “This is now a hostage exchange, you for my brother.”

“I’m just a grunt.” Hazel informs Ben, helplessly, “They’re not going to trade me for a legend like Five.”

Ben gestures for Luther to drive as he shoves Hazel into the backseat. As someone who has seen a man burst into an eldritch horror and destroy his only chance at going home, Hazel wisely complies. Ben smiles with all his teeth as he informs Hazel cheerfully that he’s going to tell Ben everything he knows about the Commission, the apocalypse, and his legend of a baby brother.

Later, in a family meeting with Hazel sitting tied up on the couch as they all loudly debate what they’re supposed to be doing now, Five shows up in a bright flash curled around a suitcase and scaring everyone

In another world Five brushes everyone off and proceeds to collapse.

In this one, Ben pats his brother down while ripping him a new one about telling him to full extent of plans for gods sakes and when his fingers come back wet with blood Ben frog marches his brother to the infirmary for Mom to stitch up with his assistance.

“We are a team.” Ben informs his idiot brother, “Yes I know we have to do everything to stop the world from ending, but it’s no use if you die along the way! I care about you, you idiot! So you’re going to sit here and heal while I go with Diego and Allison and deal with this Harold Jenkins motherfucker, okay?”

And Five grudgingly agrees when Ben pops a phone in his hand and teaches him how to facetime so that technically Five is with them the entire time and kept in the loop. Allison’s sacrifice of her phone for this purpose is duly noted and ignored, and Ben spares a split second to make a mental note to get Five his own phone at some point.

And when Luther finds out about everything, Ben quietly asks Five to pass the phone over and basically informs Luther that yes, Dad was a grade A prick but Luther is Number One. Dad might not care, but the dozens of people that Luther helped save during their stint as the Umbrella Academy? They sure as hell cared. And right now, Luther has a mission. Babysit both assassins sitting under their rooftop, because as proven by the break in Hazel is dangerous and where Hazel is surely Cha-Cha isn’t too far away.

That, at least, keeps Luther from going off and drowning his sorrows.

Since Diego isn’t wanted for murder in this timeline and Patch is alive, there’s no splitting up involved. Ben and Allison and Diego trick a cop, investigate a hospital, and find their way to Vanya’s cabin where secrets come to light.

Allison reveals that she rumored her sister into believing herself ordinary, and Ben can’t help it when he just loudly mutters “I hate this fucking family.” which breaks the tension and makes everyone stare at him.

Since he is not going to admit that he’s stress quoting a vine (god damn Dr. Hernandez got him hooked on them) he ends up just blurting out “I can’t believe Dad made Allison do that!” because really it’s important to establish that yes, Allison did the thing but also Allison was four it’s not like she knew what she was doing, “I’m glad he’s fucking dead, jesus. What kind of a prick does that to a couple of toddlers? Fuck him like, for real.”

and in the aftermath they’re all just sort of standing there staring at one another?? And then Diego is like “Uh. so. i have a police file on your boyfriend? And turns out his name is also the name of the dude Five says caused the apocalypse? Say hello Five” and Five just waves from his little screen

and Ben puts his hands on his hips and is just kind of like “Five if you repeat any of that language I will gut you like a fish. You’re too young for that.” and Five starts sputtering about being older than all of them and cursing and Vanya is giggling and Diego is grinning and mission accomplished! And then he turns to Vanya and is kind of like “Hey Vanya also if you need me to kick Leold Jenbody whomstever the fuck his name is’s ass, I do kind of have a big old tentacle monster at the ready. But of course, you get first dibs. Also like, have you seen his creepy attic shrine to the academy with all our eyes x’d out and our throats slashed? Because it’s like, honestly up there on the level of creepiness. Not quite as bad as that very explicit letter Allie got when we were fifteen, but not too far off either, you know?”

and look i’m not an expert but Ben just. De-escalates everything. He’s a tiny bit like a capybara who will also kick your ass if you really need him to.

And they confront Leonard-Harold and he tries to convince Vanya that her siblings are evil and he’s the ultimate good of whatever but it’s really hard when there’s Ben there muttering “God we all need so much therapy” to the side and “why is this family such a hazard to society. why do we always attract the weirdos.” and “this is what we get for the lack of a strong father figure in our lives I just know it” and other weird shit like that

anyway Vanya realizes that Leonard has only ever been using her for her powers and was manipulating her from the start, especially when he pulls out his knowledge of her powers as his little trump card as if they didn’t all just have a weird heart to heart about Allison sort of erasing Vanya’s knowledge of them as toddlers

“So do we just? Lock Leonard up until April 1st passes?” Ben asks Five and he feels a little like he’s cupping a magic 8 ball instead of a phone but whatever. But it’s Diego who just is kind of like “Oh hey I got this, this fucker has skipped out on so much probation and done a runner and shit and I can totally just call Patch to come out here and lock him up. Can’t cause the apocalypse from jail now, can you?”

And okay when Patch arrives to them all cornering Leonard in this cabin and also she sent some people to his house and there is a Whole Ass Dead Body up in there alongside this creepy serial killer shrine and oh yes Harold Jenkins is going away.

After that it almost seems a little anticlimactic to just climb in the car and go home? But I mean. That’s what they do. They argue half heartedly about music choice in the car and arrive home to find out that Five has untied Hazel and they’re both chilling at the bar drinking and honestly no one is sure where the little umbrellas materialized from because surely Reginald wouldn’t allow such a thing in his house, right? Luther is just kind of shrugging in the background (maybe a little tipsy) because you can’t expect him to know what’s going on in Five’s head

on the bright side Hazel seems pretty chill and has decided he is not going to try and kill any of them anymore because what he really desires is to run away with the nice donut shop lady. No, no one knows how to respond to this except perhaps Five who is cheerfully wishing Hazel luck.

and considering that Luther has the whole general time they dealt with Leonard and the car ride back to come to terms with Vanya’s powers and the fact that Dad sucks and there’s also the matter that in this au Vanya did not slit the throat of his most favorite siblings so i mean. He’s okay with this. He is so beyond caring about the shit this family gets up to anymore. He’s going to need so much therapy when this is all over.

Ben just sort of looks at this motley crew and everyone just looks fucking exhausted and he’s just kind of like. “Okay! Well. I for one did not get that much time off work for all of this but seems like y’all could use a vacation. My apartment is sort of shitty but i have a fuckload of extra blankets because sometimes I stress quilt, and no, no one is allowed to judge me for that fact, and my sofa is pretty great so I mean. You guys can come meet my cats?”

and that’s how everyone piles up into the car and goes to Ben’s place and meet his cats while buying a metric fuck ton of ice cream (Allison insists because even if Leonard ended up a creep, Vanya liked him at first and so it’s break up time) and no one can agree on a movie to watch and Diego is complaining because Ben put Dolores in the best spot while Five argues it’s because she deserves it

and look. Ben has been quiet and kept his head down and lived his life for a very long time. But looking at his siblings, at Luther ducking his head because he burned the popcorn and Allison gesturing dramatically with a bottle of nail polish as she does Vanya’s fingers and Diego teasing a scowling Five who both cats are fighting over his lapspace

and Ben can’t help but think that if Klaus were here (and his brother’s power was seeing the dead, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility) he would be proud of how far they’d come.

Ben certainly was.

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apollosvotive · 4 years

Text

a fanfic about the cinnamon salt cinnamon characters written for the writeblr fic exchange for @apricotwrites. i chose to write about jay because i felt like i could grasp his character the best, but i dont know a lot about the characters so hopefully there arent too many inaccuracies aaaa. hope this is okay!

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Borneo is white sand shifting underfoot. Fat winged insects sluggishly dragging their heavy bodies from one flower to the next, the audible thrum of their wings. It’s the muggy air, the heat of the glowering sun as it pitches itself at the highest point of its trajectory. It’s the constant need to slap himself on the limbs multiple times to ward away a stray horde of hungry bloodsuckers. But still. Anywhere is better than home.

Jay lounges in the shade of a coconut tree, a hand beneath his head, listening to the sound of waves lapping against the shore. Even with his eyes closed, he can tell the rest are off a little ways down the beach from the loud splashing and occasional squeals of laughter. Sohla’s voice is clear and distinct. She’s shouting at Ruben something along the lines of ‘You have approximately half a brain cell in your head, Ruben, and that’s me being generous.’ Then comes Ruben’s indignant remonstrations and Birdie’s light, high laughter and Jay starts thinking all over again about how chance, how fortuitous, that the universe might allow the paths of these seven people to cross and become what they are now: together. A ragtag team of misfits, a family.

When he first set foot onto this island, it would have been impossible for him to even think about the fact that he might find a group of people who understand him on such a level. Of course, when he first set foot onto this island, he was still angry and alone and blameful, thinking thoughts about his leg or, more accurately, the lack of it. But then he met these guys, and he saw shy and quiet Will, prone to smiling to himself and listening, really listening when someone talks as if to make up for the fact that he cannot see them. Ruben, who, for all the clumsiness of his left foot, manages to banish any impressions of awkwardness with a simple, urbane smile. Or unpredictable Alison, lover of Shakespeare, Shelley, Dickens, names of the dead. She’s always got that strange smile playing on her lips as if she knows something he doesn’t. She keeps her thoughts close to herself, never one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but he has come to know to find glimpses of her in little things, like in the way her eyes are always roving, looking for her brother, never allowing herself to let him out of her sight.

Come to think of it, there’s one voice that he doesn’t hear, floating up to him from where the rest of them are.

“Why so antisocial?”

Warmth lands on his face, flooding the darkness of the back of his eyelids with orange. He cracks an eye open. Alison is in front of him. She has shifted a palm frond away so that it no longer blocks the sun from his face.

“Not my thing,” Jay says simply.

“No?” She folds her arms in front of her. “You’re the only one not down there. How about for once in your life, don’t be a sad ass party pooper?”

“You’re here with me,” he counters.

“Only so that you’re not up here withering by yourself,” she shoots right back, without missing a beat. She isn’t looking at him. Her eyes are directed at a spot on the sand. “Oh, look at me. I’m Jay, I’m so cool, too cool to go down to the water and have fun with the others. Sorry to ruin your daydream, Jay, but from down there, you don’t look like you’re in a 1080p montage shot in a Fincher-esque style with emo music playing in the background. From down there, you look like a sad… ant.”

“Ha-ha,” Jay deadpans. “And that’s all an English lit student can come up with? Now put back my leaf. And go find your brother.”

Alison gasps in mock-affront. “Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?”

“I do,” Jay says very seriously. “I do bite my thumb at you.”

“Unbelievable! Incomprehensible!” she cries. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here!”

Finally, she succeeds in wresting a laugh out of him. She’s obsessed with Shakespeare. She’s memorised hundreds of quotes across all his plays and she enjoys quoting it back at him to annoy the shit out of him, which is, evidently, an effective method in getting him to do things. He shakes his head, unable to stop the upward twitch of his lips, and he pointedly ignores the smug and satisfied look in her eyes.

“Come on, Jay.” She jerks her head in the direction of where the others are. “I won. Let’s go.”

He covers his eyes with his arms stubbornly.

She sighs. “What’s going on? Are you homesick?”

“Homesick?” He scoffs from beneath his arms, as if it's an absurd concept. “No.”

“Woah, okay. Must you say it like the Bubonic plague originated in the tiny town of Laurels, Maine?”

“Laurels, Maine,” he repeats slowly. Just saying the name brings back to mind the feeling of inexorable boredom. Days of endless repetition. Just work and sleep and work. Days of friendlessness and hushed whispering and guilt-filled glances at his leg. The problem with a small town is that everyone knows everyone. This means that everyone in the little town knows that it was an accident that took Jay’s leg away from him when he was twelve and everyone knows he’s never been quite the same since. “More like ‘Bumfuck, Middle of Bumfuck Nowhere’. Wouldn’t go back if you paid me to. I am perfectly happy where I am now, thank you very much. It’s up to the rest of them to not go all Lord of the Flies and start killing each other.”

“Oh, considering that out of the seven of us, the only person to not scream at the sight of spiders is Will and it’s because he’s blind, I wouldn’t put my money on it.”

“I don’t scream.”

“I saw your face when there was that spider in the toilet the other day. Face of a pants-pisser.”

“You’re dysfunctional.”

“Aw,” she says. “Thank you.”

“C’mon, Jay.” She tries again. One more attempt that sounds as though its approaching finality. Sometimes Jay wonders how many times he can push others away before they stop coming to him altogether. He’s spent so long in Laurels angry and alone, convinced that no one else in the world could understand him, that finding this group of people, on the island of Borneo, of all places, feels like a rare stroke of luck he isn’t meant to have, the only thing the universe has done right by him. And the thought of losing them, that he might push them away enough times for them to not bother anymore – it makes him scared.

There. He said it. It does. It makes him scared.

“They’re waiting for you. ”

After a moment’s hesitation, Jay moves his arms away. He squints against the light flooding back into his vision, then his vision settles and his eyes come to rest on the black silhouette blocking out the rest of the light that is Alison.

She extends a hand to him. He takes it and allows himself to be pulled up.

“This better be good,” he tells her. She makes to place a hand on his back to support him but he shakes his head and moves away. All these years with a prosthesis and he’s gotten used to it even over tricky terrain. In fact, it feels no different from his old leg until he looks down.

“Come on, cranky old man,” she says. “Let’s go.”

They walk down the beach to where the rest of them are. Perched contentedly under a large beach umbrella, Will and Nolan sit, listening to music. They share Nolan’s headphones. Each one holds the muff to their ears as they quietly listen to whatever’s filtering in. Depending on who has control of the aux, the song is most probably either a romantic ballad or an orchestral score. Nolan turns one of his stimming toys over and over in his other hand. Lying next to him is a half completed drawing of the beach. Down by the surf, Ruben has sand packed on top of his entire body so only his head is visible. Birdie and Sohla stand on either side of him, and the three of them appear to be bickering lightly.

“Make me a mermaid!” Ruben is saying. “Give me a sweet pair of conch-covered tits and a cool tail.”

“No,” Sohla says. “Make him a mole rat. Give him grabby claws and a skinny tail.”

Ruben’s head swivels around frantically to look at Birdie. “Don’t listen to her, Birdie. Do not make me a molerat.”

Birdie quirks an eyebrow at him. A lopsided smile spreads across her lips. “You know I can’t do that.”

“No!” Ruben’s protests are nearly drowned out by the sound of Birdie and Sohla’s laughter as they begin patting the sand surrounding Ruben into a rodent-like form. “I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand! Poseidon quivers before me!”

“Clam it, Stuart Little,” Sohla says lightly, inciting a string of rapid-fire protestations from Ruben, and Alison turns to look at Jay and Jay – well, Jay can do nothing more but smile.

#cinnamon salt cinnamon

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call-me-amissa · 4 years

Text

The train that rides through nowhere

It was pitch dark outside. The only proof i had that we were still moving, heading somewhere, was the sounds of the train and small bumps in the tracks. It used to be funny, interesting, the thought of riding through the darkest sides of the underworld, through lost forests and wandering souls.

It is terrifiying.

No ghostly hand touched the cracked glass of the windows, but the chilly wind coming though the invisible cracks was nothing short of it.

I found myself wishing for the lights of a city in the distance, but I knew they'd never come. Not as long as we were here.

And there was no getting out of here until we solved this.

The dark void outside was almost as silent as the inside. No one was uttering a word and all the phones seemed to have died. The only thing that I could hear were the sounds of the train and my own swallowing as we all stared at each other.

There is a beast among us. That's what the note had said, what all the screens on phones and laptops all of us had been holding had shown before they all just died off.

I couldn't help but wonder what kind of beast this was about. If it was even true. A part of me wanted to believe it was some sick prank someone was playing on us, but I somehow knew it was true. There was no getting to any station - or any type of light aside from the artificial white light bulbs in the old train.

Was the beast in here, or out there? Was it causing this, or merely a victim, as the rest of us?

But most importantly, what kind of beast was it?

Suddenly, someone broke the silence. It was a scawny teenage boy, just a couple of years younger than me by the looks of him, with his headphones around his neck and one dark earing in his left ear. "So what, we're all gonna look at each other until this ^beast^ gets to us?" He didn't sound scared, but it was obvious that he was. I think we all were.

The beast might have been too.

"This has got to be a joke." Said the woman two seats away from him. She sounded convinced. "Why are you looking at me like that? The train's going to reach a station sooner or later "

I didn't agree with her, at all, but I shut up.

"No, it's not." Answered the old man on the seat next to mine. I looked at him a little bit closer. It must have been a trick my eyes were playing, prompted by the whole situation, but he looked on the brink of death. His skin was almost as white as his unkept beard and hair, his eyes proeminently red. I stopped looking at him.

No one dared say a word after the old man. It had sounded too much like an omen, a threat, to add anything else.

There was six of us in the wagon. The emo teenage boy, the woman in the business suit and the old man, all who had spoken. And three of us who had prefered to keep our fears and dreads for ourselves - me, a man probably in his thirties who looked like he was pretending none of this was happening, fidgeting with his irresponsive phone, and a little girl on the seat next to him, who must have been his daughter. She looked like the cutest thing on earth, just like all little girls do before their bones grow all twisted. I envied her a little bit, but I envy all kids. I'm not much older than any of them, but to them it must look like the whole world. I know it did to me.

Maybe she was the so called beast, a scary monster in a pretty package, ready to tear us all to shreds.

Or maybe it was someone else.

Maybe it was her father, hiding behind the mask of confusion, waiting for the moment to strike. Using the mask of a caring father now taking the little girl on his lap to convince us we weren't in danger, like any prey animal.

I couldn't help but imagine that whatever I was doing, annalizing them one by one, must have been what they were doing too. I wondered what they thought about me. There wasn't much to see, besides a plain face and clothes i'd put on in a hurry. My bag was bulky, filled with changes of clothes I thought I'd need. I won't need them, if we were never getting out of here. I had black combat boots on, which I used to think made me look bad ass, but in the face of whatever this was, i just felt small. Inconsequential. Why was I in this wagon?

Why were any of us here?

When I looked at her, the woman in the business suit already had her sight set on me. Her eyes were thin slits, like she didn't like was she was seeing. What was she seeing? Had she done something horrible to be here?

Had they all?

I may have, but that didn't make any of us beasts, right?

There must be a true threat here, not just other people, minding their own business, going about their day, trying to travel somehwere.

Getting stuck inside this black void that seems to never end.

Looking out the mirror was pointless, all there was to see was pitch black and the cracks in the glass. Sometimes, if the train hit a bump in the road, the light from one of the bulbs would reflect in a crack, and it would seem like there was something there.

There was nothing.

Just the six of us.

The old man next to me was starting to downright creep me out, but i was too paralyzed with fear to move to another seat. What if when I moved, something - someone - would strike. I wouldn't risk it. I didn't move one finger, but I set my eyes on the emo boy's boots. It struck me how similar to mine they were, down to the metalic studs along the sides of the sole. I found myself wondering if we had anything else in common.

Maybe I had something else in common with everyone in this wagon. Maybe that's why we were stuck here. Maybe if we figured it out, we could reach a station.

Or maybe i was just grasping for straws and we were all going to starve in a train wagon heading nowhere.

Suddenly, the boy got up. "If ya'll aren't going to try anything, I will" he announced, heading to the wagon door. I didn't dare move to see if he managed to jog it open, not with the old man next to me, not when I was starting to fear even touching him.

"The door can't be locked" said the woman, who had turned around from her seat and now was standing up to walk to him. To help him wedge the door open.

I didn't know why i hadn't thought of that. Maybe it was because I just imagined it wouldn't work and dismissed it?

Maybe the way out of here wasn't physical.

I pushed that thought right out of my head as soon as I had it. The only nonphysical way of getting out of anywhere was death, and that option didn't sit well with me. Not when it seemed like it was sitting right next to me.

The little girl started to stir, asking her dad how long was this trip going to take and I sourly remembered my own parents giving me the same answer as him on long car trips, "Just a little bit more, honey."

His voice didn't sound threatening. It sounded fatherly and soothing and suddenly I couldn't imagine why I'd even considered him to be the beast. The little girl was leaning on him now, almost asleep on his lap. She couldn't be a threat either. As scary as horror movies made children, there was nothing more to them than fiction.

But didn't this whole situation look like fiction?

The boy and the woman were still trying, in vain, to open the door. I wondered what they thought they'd do if it did open. It's not like we could just walk out into the void, wandering around in the darkness and hoping we'd find our way home somehow. Even the blind need directions, if not maps, and we didn't even have Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumbs. Not like we would have seen them if we did.

I had no idea how long we'd been riding this train, but one moment, it felt like it had been forever. The next? A blink of an eye. The next? Like this would never end. The next? Like it had already.

And it kept on going.

It would have kept on going, I guess, I hope not though, because that's truly terrifying, if I didn't start feeling sorry. It hadn't been a feeling, really, just a flying thought that escaped me as soon as I caught it.

I just have a feeling that that's when the silver of a new moon had shown up in the sky. For a moment, i hadn't even realised it was not supposed to be there. That it hadn't been there mere moments ago. Now it looked like it always had, and always will.

I didn't want to open my mouth to announce it, for fear it might disappear the second I said the words out loud, so I just kept looking at it.

There was nothing else out there, except the small silver of the moon, looking like freshly cut thin piece of nail. If the moon was there, the sun must be too, right? The rest of the world too. That's how everything worked, after all: sun, moon, earth, the rest of the universe. And very small, inside all of it, us.

Was this the universe messing with us?

It felt like hours had passed, or maybe minutes, and still there was no sign of a beast.

Maybe we were all already dead. Maybe we had seen the message too late, and it had killed us, and this was the railroad to the actual Underworld.

But then why was the moon here?

I remembered i had been thinking of something when it showed up, but that thought had flown away long ago.

Why was I even on this train? Where had I been going?

Was I running towards something? From something?

The boy and the woman finally gave up on the door and came back to their seats, and it hit me.

I was running. Away. Far. Why? I couldn't remember as I looked at the two of them, both beat and hopeless. Were they running too?

I looked back at the little girl next, sleeping on top of her father. His stare was right ahead, not meeting any of ours'. My eyes were drawn back to the emo boy when he stomped one of his feet clad in almost the same boots as me. He sounded and looked downright panicked. It struck me that i was very calm as he spoke, "We can't be stuck here. My brother and sister are waiting for me at the end of the line. We can't be stuck here!" He almost yelled, but the woman in the suit placed a calming hand on his shoulder and he shut up.

He had a brother and a sister.

It baffled me how I had forgotten that. I had a brother too. I had been living with him, and then I left. I looked out then window, trying to remember more. What I saw, around the moon that now looked a little bit more real, were stars. Actual stars that lit the night sky. Not much, not enough to make sense of whatever was around us, but it was something.

Impulsively, I pointed towards the glass, to the stars and the moon, "Do you see that?"

I looked at every each one of my travel companions and was met only with confusion. "See what? There's been nothing out there since forever" said the man holding his sleeping daughter.

"The moon and the stars have always been there," answered the boy. "Everything else, though, not so much."

I shut up, figuring there was something more here than any of us could understand. Were we the only ones seeing those things? Maybe it was because we were starting to remember. Did anyone else remember anything? I didn't want to ask, so I shut up. I tried to remember more.

I had been mad. We had both been mad. What was it about? A lot of things, from dropping the other's toothbrush to the floor by mistake, to nor trusting one another's advice anymore.

There was a lot there, with a deep rooth. And we'd never talked about it.

This morning, I'd decided I'd just go. Living with my brother had been a bad idea to begin with. I would go back to our parents', find something else to do.

I got on the train just as the sun was going down, and sat among these same people that were around me now.

I was looking at my nails while thinking about this, figuring out more, and something outside caught the corner of my eye. It was a light. A streetlight, followed by many more, bordeing a road meant for cars that was following the train tracks.

Suddenly, outside wasn't so dark anymore and somehow, that made me decided that if i ever got off this train, I'd go back.

I'd apologise. What kind of sense was it making, to stay mad at him when I was still heading into nowhere, even with the road running parallel to the tracks now. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine his face when he'd see me at the door, when only a few hours ago - maybe days? Months? Years? - I'd left and told him exactly what I thought about him.

Smug. He would be extremely smug. And maybe a little concerned about my mental wellbeing, as I wasn't one to apologise easily and oftenly.

When i opened them, I was sitting in an empty train wagon that looked exactly the same as before, only there was light outside. The sun was somewhere above the train, as i couldn't see it through any of the windows, but it was out there, basking the green fields and country houses we passed in its light and warmth.

A moment later, a trai station came into view. I didn't even think before grabbing my bag and running outside. As far as I could observe, the train had been wholly empty.

I caught the next ride back home.

To this day, I don't know what happened to the other people who were in that wagon with me, or if they had even been real.

Maybe I'd fallen asleep.

I hope I fell asleep. I want to have dreamt all of that, but I have a feeling that is entirely not the case.

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gamesofmuggles · 5 years

Text

Steve Harrington x Reader - Part 1 : Code Orange

Prompt: The scene takes place after the events of season 3. You are Erica and Lucas babysitter and you find out the kids are sneaking out of the house to spend time with Steve Harrington.

Disclaimer : we don’t own any of this gifs/photos (credits to the owners)

Enjoyyyyy :)

It was the end of the summer. 1985, a hell of a year. Weird stuffs had happening during the past few months. Dead people, chemical leaking, and the mysterious destruction of Starcourt in only one night. Hawkins had become the center of attention of all Americans after that. But it didn’t last for long. The reporters were already packing their stuffs and leaving the town. Soon children would go back to school and no one will remember anything. Like Always. It wasn’t a problem for you, peace and quiet were all you ever wanted. You were trying to make money before going back to college, by keeping an eye on your neighbors’ children, the Sinclair. To be honest, Erica was a pain in the ass sometimes, she couldn’t stop talking and complaining all day long saying she was too old for a babysitter. How old was she exactly? 7 years old? And her brother, Lucas, was a weird little kid, playing with his talkie walkie 24/7. Annoying af, or maybe you’d just forget how it was to be a kid. Now everything was all about money, having a car and a job. Yeah, maybe talkie walkie was better finally...

On this hot day of August you were listening to Fresh by Kool & the Gang with your brand-new walkman. Your feet were following the rhythm, skating on Sinclair’s carpet with your rollerblade. Being paid for this was not that bad. The children were spending half of their time in their bedrooms, not bothering you. Four hours left and you could go to the roller rink to skate for real, you thought, looking at the clock on the wall.

Suddenly above the music you heard a strange sound upstairs. You stopped the music and took your headphones off.

- Erica, Lucas, is everything okay? you called

Please, please tell me they haven’t broken anything, not again, you silently prayed. But no one answered your question.

- Hello, I am talking to you!!

Still nothing and now you had to go upstairs to check if everything was okay. God, you would never have children. You knocked on Lucas’s door, but once more no one answer.

- I am coming in. I swear if you...

You stopped talking. The bedroom was empty. A comic book was opened on the bed, but Lucas and his bloody talkie walkie were gone. Same thing in Erica’s bedroom. Were they trying to play hide-and-seek with you or something?

- Hm, okay. I bet you are under the bed, you said

You kneeled but found no one under the bed. No one in the wardrobe. No one behind the door. You moved to the window and checked the curtain. No one. But wow interesting, the window was open and here they were, running on the grass of their garden. A car was parked a few meters away and a man you couldn’t identify was waiting for them.

- What the hell, you mumbled as the Sinclair was getting in the car

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL? The car was now leaving and you couldn’t move from this window. Who was this bloody man? What if he was kidnapping them? You started to panic. But the car was gone. Now, you were screwed.

You spent the worst two hours of your life after this. You had the phone in your hands, shaking, but it was like you couldn’t move, like you couldn’t do anything but wait. Obviously, the perfect babysitter would have called the cops. But you couldn’t admit to yourself that you’d failed that much at your job. The Sinclair, the cops, your mom, every soul in this town would know you as the girl that let two innocent children in the hands of some kind of rapist or total psycho and didn’t do anything.

And then, like in a magic show, the car reappeared. Lucas and Erica ran back to the house laughing, safe and sound. You heard them climbing to their window distinctly and then it was the silence again. You could still hear the beat of your heart, tho. But your hands weren’t shaking anymore. Damn kids. They better talk.

***

The Sinclair was looking at you, both worried and amazed.

- Come on take a sit, I made waffles for you, you said with a bright smile - But aren’t we going to eat with mom and dad in less than one hour? asked Lucas confused - Don’t worry. You can eat whatever you want. I won’t tell your parents.

After a second of hesitation, the siblings started to eat voraciously.

- It’s good, isn’t it? you asked - Delicious, answered Erica with her mouth full of food - So delicious that I deserve a reward, don't you think? - Sure... - Okay… So you better tell me where you’ve been all afternoon. In details, you said with a deep and sinister voice.

Both of them choked with their waffle before turning to each other, with a grave and troubled glance. Wow, you were actually scaring those kids, you thought proudly.

- Did you saw us? - Well yes. And I need an explanation, right now. Or maybe you prefer talking about this with your mom... - No, no, no, please, said Erica

One more threat and they were done.

- Okay, hm don't worry we were just watching a film at Mike’s. In his basement, said Lucas trying to calm the situation.

His sister nodded.

- And I guess you can’t watch a film at home? And you can’t ask me permission? Can you imagine how worried I was? I almost called the cops! you screamed - Sorry, mumbled Erica - Yeah sorry, and who was this guy in the car? - Steve Harrington, he works at Video Family and he gives us such cool film every week. This is so... - Every week? What do you mean every week? This is not the first time?

Lucas was now having trouble swallowing his own saliva. This situation was insane. These two had been sneaking out for weeks… with Steve Harrington. Like Steve Harrington from high school, the popular guy that all the girls wanted.

- Well, you two saved your ass for this time. Tomorrow I will go to Video Family and talk to Steve. But I warn you, if his explanations don't satisfy me, your mom will know.

For a more dramatic look, you took back the waffles from the table. The look on their faces was hilarious. Damn, having so much power was cool.

The next day you kept your promise and went to Video family. The children didn’t lie, Steve was there at the welcome desk with another girl from your high school, Robin.

- Hello...

-... Welcome to...

-... Video Family...

-... How can we help you?

Robin and Steve looked pretty proud of their intro. You struggled to contain your laughter.

- I would like to have a moment with Steve please. Alone, you asked gently

Robin opened two round eyes, a little surprised, even shocked. But she stepped back.

- Good luck, dingus, she whispered. - Hm, so what is happening Y/N? asked Steve. - Oh nothing crazy, you know. Just you, stealing MY kids to drive them to some random house the other day.

Boom. There it was the same look on his face than the one of Lucas and Erica the day before. You caught Robin looking at you but she quickly turned her head.

- At first I thought you were some kind of pedophile, but… - Holy hell, no, no, no. I can explain, I swear, said Steve interrupting you - Steve, what kind of person goes to a basement with little kids? - The way you phrase your sentence make it weird... But we were just watching a film. You know, star wars the one with the little bears.

Steve started to imitate the sound of a laser sword, without success.

- Okay, well I should have told you, he finally admitted - Yeah indeed. I am sorry, but I have to tell Mrs.Sinclair and I am pretty sure you won’t be allowed to approach her children after that...nor any other child in this town. - Wow, wow, wow wait a second. I am sure we can find a deal, said Steve with a bit of panic in his voice

To be fair, he sounded honest and Steve Harrington was not the kind of person that was dangerous for children. It was just strange. And a bit funny, King Steve wasn’t usually struggling to get his way.

- Go on, impress me, you said - Okay, okay let me see... I ask you on a date. Saturday night, you good? - What do I win? - Well a date with me, duh, said Steve pointing at his chest

You rolled your eyes. That was presumptuous. You were about to tell him to shut up and when a bunch of kids entered the video club yelling.

- CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! screamed a teenager with a cap - Henderson what is... - Code orange Steve let’s go!! said the kid once more

You noticed Lucas and Erica behind him.

- Y/N, what are you doing here? asked Lucas - Making a deal, you answered

But Steve wasn’t interested in you anymore. He caught his keys on the desk and started following the troop with Robin.

- Hm, excuse me, where do you think you are going? you asked - Listen, Y/N it’s urgent, can we talk about this later? - Hm... No - CODE ORANGE! CODE ORAN... - I KNOW, yelled Steve at Henderson - You are not going anywhere with the Sinclair, do you hear me? you added - Ok, fine, come with us then. But I don't want to hear you complaining, said Steve reluctantly.

You gave him the finger but followed him. That’s not exactly how you wanted to spend your afternoon but after all it was a code orange.

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thehoodsweetheart · 5 years

Text

Sandcastles | Part. II

A/N: You guys asked for Part 2 so here we are! I could create a whole playlist for the songs that inspired this. I hope you guys enjoy it. There may be a few errors. I’ve been trying to push this out for a while.

Warnings: Fuckboy!Erik (cont.), Some Angst, Mentions of Smut

Summary: If you have not read Sandcastles Part 1, please do so before reading this. Although, it may not be totally necessary to do so but it helps. The reader is a Black Woman, always has been always will be.

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You dragged the half-full black Nike duffle bag along the edge of Iman’s closet. Your hands worked diligently taking the various dresses, onesies, sweaters, and pants off of their hangers. You worked strategically folding them to maximize the amount that could fit into the duffle. Thus far, all of drawers in Iman’s dresser were cleared and you were half way through the closet. You never realized your baby had so many clothes. Maybe you shouldn’t take everything? Nah, scratch that. Pack it all.

Where were you going? The last place most people would think to find you and you found solace in that, your twin brother’s house. In his words, he had a big ass house that he was barely at. Yes, you are a twin but when your parents divorced they thought the arrangement of your brother staying with your father and you your mother was a logical idea. They were wrong. On you guy’s seventh birthday, your dad moved and took JR with him to Louisiana and somewhere between holidays and summer visits, your very own twin became like a stranger. That is until you guys matured enough to forage your own relationship, which has innately gotten better since he started playing for the Los Angeles Rams.

You glanced at the white digital clock that sat atop of Iman’s changing table. You inhaled deeply wiping the few droplets of sweat away from your brow. Your eyes shifted to the sleeping Iman in her crib. She was taking her morning nap right on schedule. It was hell trying to get her to go to sleep because apparently during your time away, Iman had grown used to sleeping on her father’s chest. You hadn’t realized it but for a moment you had been holding your breath. Exhaling slowly, you felt the familiar churning of your stomach. Fuck, not again. You had to work faster. You needed to work faster. Time was of the essence and this morning sickness was only slowing you down.

If we’re being honest, the term morning sickness wasn’t even applicable. You had all day sickness. You couldn’t keep a single thing down, not even water, which was a concern. You dropped the onesie that you had in hand and rushed to the nearest bathroom. You toppled over spilling whatever contents were left in your stomach into the toilet; at this point it was nothing but bile. You dry heaved as a stray tear escaped your eye. You weren’t even this sick when you were pregnant with Iman. Pregnancy with her was relatively easy. You didn’t have many aches and pains, nor excessive sickness, or extreme cravings. You biggest challenge with her was heartburn and you loved spicy food. Erik would argue that your mood swings were the biggest challenge. Fuck Erik. Your chest tightened with just the thought of him.

Your phone pinged alerting you of a new text. You pulled yourself together brushing your teeth trying not to gag and end hunched over the toilet once again. You returned to Iman’s nursery picking up your phone. It was a text from JR.

Wazzam sis? Where you at? You good? You need me to come over there?

I’m still packing. I’m good, just a little sick. It’s slowing me down.

Just get what you can. I’ll send some movers to get the rest of your stuff if you need me to. I know you’re trying to get out of there before your boy gets back.

You stared blankly at your brother’s last text. Your lips pressed together in a thin line as your heart rate increase. You needed to be out before Erik got back.

I’ll be on my way within the next 30 minutes. Maybe less.

You quickly texted back. At least you hoped to be out within that timeframe.

Erik finally returned to work today so it was your golden opportunity. It had been three days since you returned home. The first two days were filled with avoidance on your part. You slept in one of the guestrooms with the door locked. Tiptoed through the house as if it weren’t your house too. A soon as Erik entered one of the common areas you were in you were quick on your toes to make an exit. This couldn’t last long though. You couldn’t avoid him while occupying the same home. The more you avoided him, the longer you knew he would stay home from work.

Erik was trying to apologize in the best ways he knew how. There we gifts that he strategically placed in Iman’s nursery because he knew you had to go in there. It only earned him a scoff and an eye roll. You couldn’t be bought. He tried ordering food from your favorite Mexican restaurant. Erik even cooked which he hasn’t done in over a month. You gladly accepted the food but opted to eat alone. The food would’ve been a nice sentiment if you could make it through a meal without vomiting. Then came the flowers, the obnoxious amount of flowers that practically covered the entire house. Each bouquet had a hand written apology that you didn’t give him the gratification of reading in front of him. He had been walking on eggshells knowing you would make good on your promise to leave, but you pulled a “him” to appease his worries.

Making your way to bedroom to grab some of your essentials, you could only wonder if somehow what you were doing or did could in anyway backfire. You cringed at the thought. You were honestly repulsed at your actions from last night and this morning. If you knew anything about your husband, you knew he was smart. Scratch that, he’s a genius. But would he catch on?

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You peaked into the in-home gym watching intently as Erik lifted weights. He laid back bench-pressing an obscene amount of weights. Jaw clinched, eyebrows knitted close together, eyes intently fixed on the metal bar above him Erik had to be deep in thought. The sweat that dripped down his chest drenched his shirt causing it to cling to his body. Based on his usual nightly routine, you knew his workout would be done within the next 10 to 15 minutes before he was done. You shook your clammy hands in front of you before clasping them together. You still needed to work up the courage to follow through with your plan but that would have to be enough time.

You jogged upstairs to get your head start. Cracking the bedroom door, you peaked inside of nursery to ensure Iman was in a deep sleep. Turning on your toes you took quick strides to the master bedroom. You made your way around you and Erik’s bedroom to the adjoining bathroom. You leaned against your vanity staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your coffin shaped nails tapped against the marble top. You had wasted enough time.

You turned on the shower adjusting the temperature. You stripped out of your clothes, put on a shower cap, and stepped into the steaming hot shower. You closed your eyes allowing your mind to roam as the water hit your body. There were still so many unanswered questions. Some questions that Erik refused to answer and plenty of questions you dared not ask, because honestly did you really need those answers. Would you feel better if you knew how long the affair lasted? If it was only a few times or did they fuck all the time? Who fucks better? Is that even a determining factor in if you could forgive him? Did he know her prior to the internship or was his attraction to her why he hired her?

You clenched and unclenched your fist ignoring the burning sensation of water temperature being a bit too hot. The more you thought about it, the angrier you could feel yourself become. How dare he betray your trust for the second time? Your grandma always said fool me once shame one you, fool me twice shame on me, and if you get fooled three times you are a goddamn fool. You began to scrub at your skin increasing the burning sensation. It was too bad you couldn’t wash away the disgust. You wanted to him to hurt like he made hurt. Not even physical pain, but the mental and emotional pain you endured leading up to this very moment. That’s exactly why you couldn’t stay there much longer, but leaving is always harder than it seems.

The sound of the bathroom door opening caught you off guard causing you to jump out of your thoughts. Your eyes snapped open to see Erik entering the bathroom with his wireless Beats by Dre headphones on. He stopped dead in his tracks taking in the view of you. A mixture of emotions flashed through his eyes the most prominent being uncertainty. You scrambled to cover yourself with your arms as if this wasn’t your husband who’d seen you naked plenty of times.

“I’ll be out soon.” You called out. This was the most you had spoken to him in two days.

Erik took off the headphones dragging his tongue across his bottom lip the glint from his gold fangs flashed. He pulled the sweat- drenched tee over his head facing you the entire time not breaking eye contact. His eyes were filled with remorse, a flash of that lost puppy look washing over his face. He nodded in appreciation of your voice holding on to every sound of every syllable. As short of a sentence it may have been, it was better than your silence. Shit, even being cussed out was better than silence. Silence just made the situation marinate. It straight up made him feel like shit.

“Nah…you don’t gotta rush.” Erik swaggered back into their room.

Letting out an uneasy sigh, a devious smirk formed on your lips. It was show time. You quickly rinsed off before grabbing your towel wrapping it tightly around your body and snatching off the shower cap. You picked up your lotion from your vanity then strutted into your room. You completely ignored Erik’s presence as you proceeded to dry off in front of the floor length mirror in your room. You could feel his gaze piercing into you. It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You glanced up through the mirror to see him watching you as if you were prey. He sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread, as he hunched forward with a more predatory look in his eyes dreads falling into his face.

You broke the gaze maintaining a stoic, unbothered expression. This was all a game and you were about to have fun with it. You proceeded to point your foot placing it on the edge of the bed as you rubbed in your lotion at an agonizingly slow pace. It would only be a matter of a few moments before you would get the reaction you were seeking, the reaction that you were taunting out of Erik. You knew he had the audacity.

Erik stood up rounding the bed acting as though he was searching for something within your proximity. You rolled your eyes at his obviousness. By now you had switched legs, beginning to moisturize the other. As you leaned forward, arching your back some you began to work the Shea Butter starting from your ankle, leading to your calf, then your thigh. Your hands inched closer to the apex of your thigh when Erik’s hand got a firm hold of your wrist, the front of his body being pressed against the back of yours. You cut your eyes at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the shower?” Your words laced with attitude.

“Yea but not yet” He mumbled huskily against your ear. “Let me help you with this…It’s the least I could do.” Erik nibbled at the rim of your ear. “…The least I could do to show you how sorry I really am.”

You tried to suppress a moan as he flicked his tongue across the flesh just below your ear as his calloused hand kneaded at the apex of your thighs. Your back arched more pressing your ass firmer against him. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but as angry as you still were with him, your body was betraying you. The pulse, that’s right an actual heartbeat, you felt at your center let you know the tough ‘act’ was over. The glaze on your lower lips that was beginning to drip onto your inner thighs just solidified it. His nose rubbed along the side of your neck as he leaned more into you.

“N’Jadaka…” You whined in protest only to receive a dark chuckle in response.

“See princess…all you gotta do is give Daddy permission.”

Erik stuffed one hand into the mess of your thick curls gripping them in his fist. You sucked air through clenched teeth from his sudden roughness. He forced you to look in his eyes, something you refused to do for extended periods of time of the last few days, before capturing you in an intoxicated kiss.

You hated how you craved him. How your body craved him. How lust could supersede hurt and anger. How your flesh burned and yearned for salacious acts only he could provide. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself, right? It all happened in a blur. You tried to rationalize through every kiss, lick, bite, and tug at flesh, that this is what you needed to do. You needed him open and what better way to breakdown his wall of paranoia. Or were you the one open? How could you not be repulsed by stooping this low in an act of manipulation? You knew he would leap at the opportunity to fuck you into submission and forgiveness if possible. He’d better enjoy it because it would be the last time he would get to. Little did Erik know, he was far from forgiven. Did he honestly think you would give in after being home for three days? Wrong. You only confronted him about his escapades eight days prior.

But now here you were, in control as your hips rose and fell, your aching core gripping his entire length thoroughly stretched to accommodate his girth. Your head thrown back eyes shut tightly. Erik delivered a powerful smack on your ass that only served as encouragement and motivation. You peered down at him through hooded eyes biting down on your bottom lip. You dragged your nailed down his studded chest and abs. It was time to pick up the pace. You bounced faster being sure to tighten you walls each time you reached the tip. The tip hitting your spot at just the right angle every time encouraged your cream to both of your thighs. The room was filled with sounds of flesh slapping and the sloshing of your sex. When Erik reached to grip your hips you slapped his hands away. You knew he wanted to gain control but this was a revenge fuck. He let out a growl as his abs flexed. Despite reforming over the years, your husband still thrived on power. A lack of power would only frustrate him. You were on the verge of cumming so he power trip would have to wait. A slue of curse words followed letting you know you had him just where you wanted him. It was also only a matter of time before he would take over…and that he did.

You passed out cumming and woke up the next morning on the verge of cumming. One leg raised in the air cuffed in his brolic arm, he was buried so deep in you from the side that you felt winded. You didn’t know if you wanted to curse him out or sing praises, so you did both. The overwhelming sensation brought tears to your eyes that Erik gladly kissed away while whispering yet another apology. If you weren’t already pregnant, you would’ve surely ended pregnant after this escapade.

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You blinked a few times at your reflection in the mirror. Purplish bruises cover your neck and the tops of your breast. You zipped up your hoodie to the top in efforts to hide them. You didn’t even want anyone to have a clue that you had sex with Erik after he cheated on you. Imagine being embarrassed of sleeping with your own husband. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as your broke away from your trance. You had to move on and move fast. You sped walked into your walk-in closet grabbing a tote immediately grabbing some essentials like under garments, a track suit, sundresses, and sandals. You grabbed enough clothes to last you until you called a moving company to pick up the rest of your things the next day. Next on your to do list was the bathroom to pack your hygienic products. Your eyes darted around the room. Was there anything important you were forgetting? You surely hoped not.

You waltzed over to the stand pulling out a notepad you used to keep in there. You pulled out the pen that was wedged into the spirals. The devil on your shoulder was back at it again as the pen glided across the page. Your pettiness was getting the best of you.

Erik,

If you’re reading this, then you should know that we’re gone. Don’t come looking for us. Fuck marriage counseling. This marriage was over when you decided to have a second affair. I won’t keep Iman away from you, but I never want to see your sorry ass ever again. I’ll have my mom or somebody bring her to you for visits. As far as baby #2, I’ll have you informed when I’m in labor.

P.S. I hope you enjoyed last night and this morning. Now you know how it feels to be fucked into thinking everything is okay.

Love, Y/n Udaku-Stevens

You ripped off the page setting it on top of the nightstand. You twisted your wedding ring and bands off in one motion setting them on top of the note before grabbing your tote and heading back to Iman’s nursery. You made sure to slip off her Kimoyo beads leaving them in her crib. You had taken yours off the first time you left eight days ago. You swiftly situated Iman into her car seat. You would have to carry her and you guys’ bags, but this wasn’t something you were unaccustomed to. You carried her with plenty of grocery bags whenever Erik was out of town or just simply not around.

As you finished loading your truck, you paused. This was it. How would Erik react coming home to two being gone…for good. You knew he suffered from issues of abandonment. Were you adding to his problems of being alone? It could definitely trigger it. You groaned resting your forehead on the car’s door. You couldn’t pity him. He clearly didn’t care about how you felt anymore.

You hopped into the driver’s seat and proceeded to drive off. You drove away from the house that was supposed to be a home to build your family. You didn’t want to stay there though. It wasn’t home anymore. Just being there gave your chest a heavy feeling. If you did stay, making Erik leave would be another fight that you just didn’t have the energy for. In so many ways you found home in Erik, yet that was gone too. Your very concept of home washed away like sandcastles to a tide.

You didn’t even bother to turn on the radio. You were too deep into your thoughts. You opted to start over. This was your decision. You could go back to work and find a new place to call home. You could figure out how to create a new normal for you and Iman. But how you would deal with two kids under two years old alone? What if you were pregnant with twins? That would be like God playing some type of sick joke on you. You bit your bottom lip using your thumb to hastily wipe way a single stray tear, before refocusing on the road. Whatever the future circumstance would be you couldn’t worry about it. You had to deal with your problems in the right now.

Tag List: @yoyolovesbucky @beaut1fulone-blog @sarcastic-sunshines

If I forgot to tag you and you asked, I’m soo sorry!

#erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x oc #erik killmonger imagine #erik killmonger #black panther #erik killmonger x black!reader #black panther imagine #black panther rec #sandcastles #sandcastles part 2

354 notes · View notes

deniigi · 5 years

Note

i was reading "it's fine, we're fine" again because i am a big softy and i love jack with my whole damn heart and i was wondering if rudy ever surfaces in matt's life again?

he does!!!

All of the boxers stay in Matt’s life for as long as they can! In another fic which I never published, Rudy explains that he tried to adopt Matt after Jack died, since they were best friends and Matt was already really close to Rudy’s girls, but social services wasn’t down to let that happen.

That said!!

I also wrote a piece a while back that didn’t quite make it into the Sprawl but which shows Matt’s relationships with Jack’s old friends from the gym. I’m putting it here under the cut (sorry mobile users, it’s pretty long)

Written from Jack’s pov

—-

Prelim title: put em up

He hadn’t seen the guys since he died, and honestly he’d avoided heading in the direction of Fogwell’s out of both fear and a strong self-preservation instinct. He only had a year. And Matt was hellbent on getting himself murdered during it, so Jack had to keep himself together to arrange their double funeral.

He finally sucked it up watching Matt mope in multiple different shapes and forms all over the furniture in his living room. The last straw was him cuddling up to Tuesday to inform her of how unfair Jack was being.

Not letting him out face-smashing with two fractured ribs.

Oh, the humanity.

What a shit father he was.

Tuesday sneezed on Matt and then stood up to leave him to suffer and to sniff at Jack’s ankles. Abandoned, Matt moved on to making loud, drawn-out noises about how everyone in his life betrayed him.

“Alright, fine. Get your gloves,” Jack sighed.

Matt was gone from the living room before he’d even finished the sentence.

It was one thing to like, know that your kid was a superhuman. But it was a whole other thing to live with it. He would never get used to the silent sneaking. Or the ‘I can heart your heart beat’ thing. Or the determination to be gutted. That one, even the afterlife wouldn’t help him with.

He’d just barely stood up from giving Tuesday the requisite pets when Matt was back in his face with gloves, rattling. Just a teeny bit little excited.

“Hurry up.”

Wo-ho. Not with that attitude.

“Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.”

Wow, look. Another dish to clean.

“DAD.”

Alright, alright. Take a chill pill, kid.

Fridays were usually slow days at the gym since most guys had dates to be on and family nights to have and so Jack thought that he might escape this interaction mostly unscathed and unnoticed. He was just there to help the blind guy, he’d say if anyone asked. He looked far too young to be Matt’s father at this point, they looked more like brothers. With the exception of Matt looking painfully like his mama to Jack. He’d never not see Grace in this boy. It was all in that slim jaw. He grabbed it and shook it every now and then to piss Matt off and it did the trick on a dime.

Matt was a regular at Fogwell’s. Jack wasn’t surprised. It had always been his second home. He was known by most of the guys there as the blind guy who apparently crammed in his headphones and punched a bag ‘til he couldn’t anymore. Fogwell let him use the place when he wasn’t there. Under the ruse of Matt feeling self-conscious about boxing in front of sighted-people.

Really, he just wanted to throw ridiculous moves at the bag.

This time, there would be no ridiculous moves. There were ribs to consider. Matt practically hung off his elbow in disappointment.

This fuckin’ kid. Ain’t got the sense god gave a goat.

They walked in the door and Jack never stood a chance.

Folks had heard about the incident, it had been on the news, it turned out. Load of highly suspicious graves dug up in cemeteries all over the damn city. Fischer hadn’t exactly been subtle. What wasn’t quite clear to people was who these zombies were until anyone who happened to recognize those particular graves saw them.

Obviously half the gym had remembered Jack’s fucked up, now cracked headstone.

(It was nice. Grace had taken him to see it so that he could have a say in the next one. She waved at it in many different kinds of ways and called him a basic bitch without using either of those words.)

Jack couldn’t help but wonder now if Matt had texted someone to let them know they were coming.

Because he couldn’t breathe.

Rudy smelled like ass.

“Twenty fuckin’ years, man, and you still ain’t seen a shower?” he creaked out against his pal’s sweaty shoulder.

Rudy yanked him back by the shoulders to get a good look at him, blinking tears out of his eyes. He was so bald. He’d never had much hair to begin with, Rudy. But now, he was like one of them fortune-tellers’ glass balls.

“Jackie, we missed you so much,” the guy said like he was garbling glass.

“Good to—”

Well, that was him done. He didn’t need shoulders.

“Bert, you maniac, lay off,” Rudy snarled, as hot-tempered as ever.

Bert? This motherfucker was Bert?

Jack ducked out of the arms and recoiled back to get a good look at the moron and sure enough. Man.

“You finally shaved that thing off your face,” he said.

Bert was huge. Moustache was gone, though. That was literally all the mattered. Bert would never be pretty, but the pornstache had been a lot, even for them.

Bert cackled in delight.

“Look at you, Jack, ain’t a day over—uh. How old’re you again?”

God, who were these old guys? And where the hell did—wait a second.

“Matthew, nice try, you get back here,” he barked. Matt froze from where he was trying to sneak away to go finish the job on his ribs. He squinted and scowled in Jack’s direction and then made a break for it before Jack could get past Bert’s huge mass.

He didn’t get too far. They were on Jack’s turf now.

“Nooooo.”

Rudy covered the bottom of his face, but Jack could see his huge grin under it.

“Sorry fellas,” he said, “We’re having a father-son night out.”

“Get off, old man. Get off.”

The second he let go, Matt would throw himself out a window and vanish into the night. Jack had no fancy degrees but he was not stupid. He’d learned after the first two times.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” Rudy said through the deep laugh lines in his cheeks. “Can’t fuckin’ believe it, Jackie. God, you look so good.”

Did he? That scar on his temple wasn’t doing him no favors, that was for sure.

“Matty, you look just like your dad. God, the two of you together. Hold on, just one sec. I want a picture.”

Jack had plenty of pictures of the two of them together. Foggy and Karen were ace at taking secret, sneaky pictures that no one asked them to. He hiked Matt up from his ragdoll and shoved his bag in his arms.

“Pick one and then sit,” he ordered.

Matt glared at him and then made a show of storming away and feeling for an adequate bag.

Jack huffed and then redirected his stare to Bert’s creepy gaze.

“What?” he asked.

“Just amazed you’re here is all, man,” Bert said. Man, had everyone gone bald or what? “Fogwell’s gonna be so happy to see you.”

Ah, right. The person he was most determined to avoid.

“He don’t gotta come out,” Jack said, “Guy’s probably ancient at this point. Don’t want him to—”

“JOHNATHAN MURDOCK.”

No voice would strike fear into his heart like that one.

“Nice of you to finally show up, boy.”

How was this man not dead? How had he not aged? He’d only gotten marginally whiter and slightly more forehead wrinkles since Jack had last seen him.

“He doesn’t let me out of the house,” Matt popped back up to inform the old man. Fogwell saw him and gentle as sin, put a hand on his shoulder and snapped a look Jack’s way that Jack felt in his gut.

“Boy’s not glass, Jackie. You keeping him locked up now?”

Oooooh, kiddo. You’re gonna get it now.

Matt hid behind Fogwell before Jack could take a step forward. Smart fucking boy. Jack would have his own when they got back home. Tattle-telling was worth a whole afternoon of enforced R&R.

“Just ‘cause he’s a bigshot lawyer now, don’t make him smart,” Jack shot at the shoulder Matt was hiding behind.

Fogwell laughed, loud. Like a cracking whip. The sound was always heart-attack inducing and always comforting once you got past it.

“Matty’s doing just fine. He ain’t need brains to punch a bag, and all things considered, he’s still got twice as much fluff in that melon of his than the rest of us combined, don’t you, kiddo?” Matt said nothing because he was already aware of the impending consequences of his actions. Fogwell grinned down at him anyways. “We gotta call Kenny and Raph to come get a load of you two,” he decided. “They’ve been asking all over if you’d come back yet.”

Ugh.

Where exactly was his opinion in this whole thing, huh?

“Ain’t got one, short-stack. Lost all your seniority when you hit the dirt, son,” Fogwell said cheerfully, or what passed as cheerfully for him.

Ugh.

Well, it didn’t matter much anyways. He’d always been the second-youngest in the group.

“Right, well. You call the idiots, I gotta deal with my pride and joy,” Jack said, reaching around the old man to grab Matt by the scruff of the neck and to forcibly guide him towards the back center left bag. The other guys laughed and Rudy slapped his shoulder and said when he was done with that, they should have a go in the ring.

Mm. They’d see. Jack wasn’t trying to do anything to fuck with his head right then. It was kind of fragile.

Matt said that he’d fight in his place and the other guys started laughing and slapping up a storm.

Oh, honey.

No, but it was a sweet thought.

“Why’re they laughin’ at me?” Matt asked him once gloves were on. Jack patted at his side as a reminder to keep them ribs steady.

“’Cause you’re two and half to them, baby. Always will be.”

“I could probably fight the Hulk.”

“I don’t doubt it. Let’s not.”

“Definitely Winter in hand to hand.”

Yes, and that would never not be terrifying. Let’s just be normal for an hour, what do you say, huh?

Matt favored his right, and not just because of the ribs. He was a lefty, always had been. Had come home complaining about how the school scissors hurt his hands. He explained to Jack that his sensei (who Jack was going to maim very quietly and then suffocate when Matt wasn’t paying attention) had taught him to lead with his right so that folks thought he was a righty. From there, he could knock ‘em off guard.

It worked, he said. He did it a lot.

Still, Jack found that his right hits were just a little harder than the lefts and pointed out that scare tactics were fine, but Lefty needed to be at the same firing capacity as Righty as much as possible.

Matt told him to stop fucking moving the bag then.

Adorable. Really.

Until Kenny got there. Man screamed like a girl seeing her long-lost bestie after 20 years. Announced to the whole damn gym that ‘Jackie Murdock was back, looking like the coroner’s worst nightmare.’

Fuck Kenny. He’d always been a dick. And he was an oversized dick now, with stupid big, stupid useless muscles.

“You body-building, man? What’s up with this?” he gasped out under Kenny’s grip next.

“Hell yeah I am, here, get a load of this.”

No, no, he really didn’t—alright, he was doing it anyways, great. Yes. Very impressive. Anyone worth their salt could knock him out in one punch.

“Oh, yeah? You wanna give it a go, then Battlin’ Jack?”

People were fucking looking at him now, thanks pal. You’re doing great.

“I got a head injury,” he said flatly, which made Matty laugh at least.

“No shit. Look at that bad boy,” Kenny said. “We were fuckin’ devastated when we heard man, everyone was. You should have said something, we could have helped you out. Like—”

“How about we don’t go there?” Jack interrupted. He hadn’t come here for pity. He just wanted to wear his kid out so he didn’t go wear himself out on someone less gentle’s fists.

Kenny feel back and dropped his eyes.

“Sure. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I ain’t here for too long anyways. You got plenty of time to go back to missing me and calling me a dumbass.”

“Not really funny, Jack.”

It wasn’t meant to be.

Raph stumbled in about half an hour later for a repeat of this conversation with greater enthusiasm. He’d stopped boxing, actually. To Jack’s surprise. Then to his enormous guilt.

“After what happened to you, big guy, I said to myself, this shit ain’t worth it. My baby girl was on the way, you remember? So I says, nah. We’re gonna do this right. We’re gonna go to college.”

“No shit, you went to college?” Jack asked him.

“Damn skippy—got me a degree and everything. Graphic Design.”

“The hell does that even mean?”

“Means, I’m an artist, dipshit. Here, lookit these things. I been doing websites for ages now.”

Aw, Raph. You did so good! Jack was so proud.

“Me too, man. Didn’t mean to uh, use you like that but.”

“No, no. I’m glad something good came out of it, don’t even trip.”

“Aw, whatchu talkin’ about, Jackie? Look at your baby. Heya, Matty. Haven’t seen you in years, baby boy, how’s it hanging?”

Matt blinked in Raph’s direction a few times and then deferred to Rudy in a whisper.

Raph laughed.

“It’s alright, honey, you don’t remember me, it’s alright,” he laughed.

Raph had been what, twenty-two when Jack had died? He’d joined up right before Matt had gone blind. It only made sense that Matty couldn’t remember him.

“Man, you jumping into the ring?” Raph asked him, with a few gentle pops in the shoulder.

“Nah. Trying not to re-crack this melon,” Jack said, tapping the bullet scar.

“Holy shit, lookit that thing. Hey, be honest. Did it hurt?”

What kind of dumbass question was that?

Yeah, it hurt.

Worse than anything had ever hurt in his life.

That’s kind of why they call it a death blow.

He stopped talking about it though because it was making Matt uncomfortable. Instead, he made a crack about Matt being able to take Raph one-handed and everyone on their side of the gym oh’ed at the challenge.

“Do it, Matty,” Rudy said, “Show ‘im what you got.”

It wouldn’t be a fair fight by a long shot.

And it wasn’t. Matt just tripped the guy right there on the mat and the whole gym went into uproar. Raph gave it a few swings, but they were just plain bad so all Matt had to do was step back out of range.

“You even trying?” he goaded Raph, and then when that worked, he got a good one in the guy’s solar plexus.

Jack winced and hoped it was only at half-strength. Given that Raph recovered and called it a wrap, it probably was.

Matt was much, much happier on the way home, trying to goad Jack into swinging at him.

Nah.

Never.

He didn’t care how strong or big or tall Matt got. He’d never lay his knuckles on him. No, not in a million years. Not even if it was for his own good.

His knuckles were tainted with the blood of the devil. Matt’s devil was younger and more spry and its heat burned bright at the surface of his skin.

Jack’s devil had always been a deep roil, way down in the center of his chest. That bastard was horrible and didn’t know when to stay down. That bastard was the guy who’d left Matty in foster care to begin with. Jack was keeping him well out of the picture. He didn’t want to do anything which might transfer any of his dark, bubbling fury to Matt’s skin.

“C’mere,” he said, catching Matt in a headlock instead.

You, son, get kisses. That’s all you get.

Matt made disgusted noises and ducked out.

“The old guys miss you,” he said, finally evening out and walking next to Jack like a normal person. He didn’t pretend like he needed a guide since it was so late and not many folks were bopping around outdoors. It was kind of.

Kind of wild.

To be walking next to him just like he had before the accident. No hand-holding, shoulder-holding, elbow-holding necessary. No canes or dogs.

If Jack hadn’t known better, he wouldn’t have thought there was a damn thing wrong with him, except his apparent need to wear sunglasses in the dark.

“I miss ‘em, too. Glad they’ve been there for you,” he said thickly.

Matt said nothing, then took his elbow in a loose grip.

“I don’t blame you,” he repeated. He said it a lot. He always seemed to know when Jack was thinking about that shit.

“I know, honey. I just wish—I dunno. Raph got out of it. Maybe I shoulda—”

Matt clutched at him and stopped walking. He was stronger than he let on, Matty. In so many ways.

“I don’t blame you,” he said firmly. “And we can’t move forward if all we do is run in circles on the coulda, shoulda, wouldas. Stop thinking about it, Dad.”

Right.

Right, no, that was true.

He just.

He just wished he’d been better. They wouldn’t be stuck on this timeline if he’d just been better.

“You don’t need to be better, you’ve always been enough.”

This kid. This fucking kid. Knew exactly what to say.

“Come here, gimme a kiss.”

“UGH. No.”

“Matty, lemme have one, yeah?”

“UGH.”

He relented and let Jack lay one on the side of his forehead. He snuck another in his hair before he jerked away.

It made him smile.

“I love you, Matt, you know that?”

“Course I know. I always known. I love you, too. Now stop being weird. I want Chinese.”

Jack laughed.

Sure, whatever he wanted. Anything.

—

Hope this gives you some hope, anon!!

#fic #daredevil #jack murdock #I have an even longer fic that I worked on which played with these characters too but it's so off the wall that I kind of decided to leave #it be #just fyi matt's super comfortable moving around the gym and the guys are used to him moving around it more comfortably than usual so they #aren't super tipped off by his apparent lack of cane using #They chock it up to matt having known the place since he was literally an infant #ficlet

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lilulo-12 · 5 years

Text

Wonder of You

Chapter 3- Into the Now

I don’t know why the spacing gets so weird when I post on mobile. Thanks for the likes & re-blogs. Let me know if you want to be included in the Tag List!

Tag List:

@deans-baby-momma @fandom-princess-forevermore

Series Masterlist

“I’m so damn tired.” Blake groaned and she threw herself face down on the bed. “We need to take a break for a day or two. Vengeful spirits, Wendingos, and Snakes on a Plane were ridiculous. But the shifter turning into Dean was a little bit extra.”

“Hey! You were the one that kissed it.” Sam gave you a look.

“Shut up Judgy. I was trying to figure out if it was the shifter or Dean. And excuse you, IT kissed ME!”

“You didn’t stop it.” Same shrugged.

“Dean kissed me when we were kids. I know how he kisses. That’s how I knew it wasn’t Dean and helped save your asses.”

“Do you hear yourself? You know how he kisses? Are the two of you going to go back to this. Pretending not to love each other? I don’t know if I can deal with the longing looks, near touches and tension jammed into one hotel room!” Sam threw his arms up.

“Sam.” Blake sighed. “I was in love with Dean when we were kids. You know that. I told you that when I went back to Cali. But I didn’t see him for 3 years so I could get over him. I won’t risk the relationship we have if we don’t work out.”

“I don’t know if you so much got over him as you got under other guys.” Blake’s jaw dropped.

“Did you just slut shame me?!”

“What?! No! I didn’t mean it like that. We had a hell of a lot of fun. And I wasn’t exactly the Virgin Mary before Jess. I’m just saying you tried like hell to move on. I don’t know that you’re over him and I’m pretty sure he never got over you. Look, Be with Dean, don’t be with Dean. I just want you to be happy. I want you both to be happy. He’s my brother. You’re my best friend. Even if you didn’t work out. You would never lose him.”

“Sam...I...I can’t. Please don’t.”

“Okay. Sorry Bee.” You both jumped when the door slammed opened.

“Okay- I know where we’re off to next.” Dean said, not even noticing the weird atmosphere in the room.

“Dean- lets take a beat. We need a break.” Sam spoke up when he saw the look in your eyes.

“No Sam, we don’t. We need to find Dad!” Dean blew up. His fuse had been rather short the past few days.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Blake stood up. “We have been at it for weeks. This last case, it was a lot. We need a break.”

“You want a break? You knew how this was going to be when you signed up sweetheart . We’re trying to find my father. You remember the guy that saved you?” Sam watched you physically flinch.

“Don’t you dare!” Blake pointed at Dean. “I’m very aware of what this life is. And we’ve been at it non-stop since Jess. And we are no where near finding John. NOT EVEN CLOSE! We need two days to re-charge. No one is saying to take a month off. We need to unwind a little. Apparently especially you! You don’t get to talk to me like that because you’re scared that he’s dead or worse. You’re not the only one that is scared. But I can’t pour from an empty cup. So we leave here and stop somewhere half way and take a few days and get back to it. Or you’re on your own and Sam and I will meet you there. But don’t you dare say anything like that to me ever again.” Dean didn’t have a chance to reply as you stormed out.

“Man you love putting your foot in your mouth with her.”

“Shut up Sammy.” Dean followed you out of the room. “Blake!” He yelled as he slammed the door behind him. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. He prayed they found John soon.

“Blake!” Dean yelled looking around the parking lot.

“Can you not scream like a damn caveman?" Blake's voice was laced with sarcasm and irritation.

"I'm sorry." She held her hand up to stop him from speaking.

"I'm not your punching bag. If you EVER use John against me like that again, we're done. You've never been that guy. I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Of course you don't. You spent 3 years running from me. A lot changed."

"So much so you have no problem kicking me around because I need a day or two to get myself together?"

"I said I was sorry."

"You never would have had to before."

"What do you want me to say Blake? Huh? I've pretty much spent the last 3 years alone. Yeah I was with my Dad, but you know how he was. I was really alone. Sammy left and we didn’t talk. You and I, we barely spoke, hell, you wouldn't even see me!"

"I was a mess Dean. I needed space." He scoffed.

"But not from Sam. You needed space from me, but not him. Not from Bobby. Me! You were everything to me.”

“And yet you didn’t want me with you. You pushed me away.”

“I WANTED YOU SAFE!” He yelled.

“What’s safe? I’m in this life, like it or not. I was staying with Bobby. That was safe? And it’s not your decision to make if and when I take a risk. And what? I’m less of a hunter than Sam? Less capable? You were pissed when HE left! His safety didn’t matter? Or I wasn’t really family, John said something like that. Here am I, loyal as ever. You think I’m a burden? News flash, I don’t need you to protect me. I can keep myself safe.”

“Ohhh I know you can keep yourself safe.” Blake’s eyes narrowed at the tone.

“What does that even mean?”

“You left first. You went to NY. No more hunts, no more blood, no more me. God, I loved you. I loved you so freaking much. I watched you with that kid when you were in High School, the douche that hurt you. I took you shopping for him to take you out, I helped you pick out that dress. I got you that necklace.” He pointed at the solitaire you still wore around your neck. “I loved you. I would have done anything for you, even if it meant sending you off with someone else. That night, when we kissed I thought I was finally going to get everything I had ever wanted. And then you announced you were leaving. Like I was nothing. Like I was nothing to you.”

“I left because you were everything to me. EVERYTHING.” Blake closed her eyes and let tears fall down her cheeks. “I left because I was scared. Scared that I would mess us up and loose you completely. Scared that we weren’t going to make it because we were so young. We’ve talked about that before. I was scared of letting you love me and then John getting you killed. Scared of letting my mother down and not being what she wanted. I was terrified and so I ran. And instead of running after me, you ran into the arms of every bar whore you came across. Why didn’t you run after me?” Her voice broke as she asked the question.

Neither is them said anything for a long time. Neither of them even noticed Sam standing outside listening. He didn’t want to eavesdrop but he was scared where this was going and he wanted to prevent any irreversible damage. “I was hurt when you told me I couldn’t go with you after my accident. I had lost everything. EVERYTHING.” Sam felt a tear slip from his eye. You were sobbing. You felt things so deeply. It hurt him to see you hurt. “My parents were dead. The one connection to my mother and the thing I loved to do most in the world were taken away from me. John kept making promise after promise. He rarely came through. He never got

over me helping Sam. You and I had fallen apart. I was in California with Sam and watching him with Jess after they met... I couldn’t stay. It made me miss you so much. When I thought I was finally going to get you back you told me no. I had to get over you. Quit you. It hurt too much. So I had to cut you off. And when you refused to give me space I ran again. And I used your issues with Sam to protect myself and I let Sam put me back together. I let him save me. I’m sorry I hurt you. But you hurt me too.” Dean nodded.

“Well I’m glad you got over me. Guess we can both move on then. Pack your shit. We’ll head out and find a place to stay away from here and take a beat.” More silent tears fell from her eyes. There was no comfort in Dean. There was nothing but coldness between the two of them.

—————————————————————

The silence in the car was painful. Sam wanted to scream at the two of them for being so stubborn and stupid. Dean wasn’t talking to either one of them. Like his father, if you weren’t with him, you were against him.

“He’s pissed at me for not being pissed at you.” Sam could still see Blake’s incredulous expression like it had just happened. Now Dean was doing it to him. Sam turned slightly to look at Blake. She had her back leaning up against the door of the Impala.l and turned slightly to the back of the seat in sweats and a hoodie. The hood was pulled up but he knew she had headphones on her ears to listen to music and she appeared to be asleep.

“I should wake her up so she can buckle herself in. If we get into an accident she could get hurt.”

Sam’s comment was mostly to himself. Dean scoffed.

“She can protect herself Sammy. She can decide what risks she takes”

“Dean, don’t pick a fight with her. You guys need to work this out.”

“Stay out of it Sam!” Sam held his hands up in front of him to show his surrender.

A couple of hours later Dean pulled into a motel in Des Moine. The three of them were tense. Blake had completely shut down. Sam couldn’t remember the last time she had been so quiet. He could see she was in her head and she was hurting. Dean was angry and hurting, which was a treacherous combination. Maybe Sam should have tried harder to make his and Dean’s relationship solid again. He shouldn’t have let her hide out for so damn long. He knew how much she hated how Dean and John made decisions for her and hated being forced into things. But maybe Sam had been too willing to play by her rules. When they walked into the room her heard a small huff escape Blake’s mouth. There was no couch, just the two beds. Blake hated sleeping with Sam because he was a bed hog. He had to, he was too tall for the beds. She didn’t say anything else but grabbed her bag and slammed the bathroom door behind her to make sure Dean got the point.

“What displeased her majesty now?” Dean was dripping with attitude. Sam shook his head.

“I’m going for a walk, a very long walk.” Hethrew his laptop into is back pack and headed out the door desperately needing to be alone.

____________________________________________

Blake was running in endless woods. Something was chasing her but she didn’t know what it was. All she she knew was the paralyzing fear in her chest. She felt the sting of thin branches from the trees whipping her in the face. She was running towards something but she was running towards something too. She came upon a clearing in the woods and there, hanging from the tree were her mother and father. She heard the cry escape from her throat.

“Mama, Daddy....no, please no.” Her mothers eyes opened, pale faced, she studied her daughter.

“Don’t cry for me darling. I am free. Keep going. Find your power. Only you can save him.”

“Mama....save who?” Blake wipes the tears from her eyes but her mother had gone silent. When she realized she had no more answers to give, Blake pushed on. Deeper into the woods, her heart pounding in her ears.

“This way...this way...this way...” she heard a chant of whispered voices. She pushed on. The voices stopped when she came upon a man standing with his back to her in front of a cabin. She’d know him anywhere.

“John...” her voice was a whisper. He turned slowly to face her. He was pale, like her mother, he had a trickle of blood that had dried down the side of his mouth. He had been shot, his abdomen covered in blood.

“No, no, no. I can’t lose you too. No...we never fixed what was wrong between us. I never got to tell you off. I never got to forgive you,to say I was sorry. To thank you..” John gave her the winning Winchester smile...the smile, like Dean’s, that started in his eyes.

“Oh sweetheart. You have nothing to apologize for. And you don’t owe me any thanks. It was an honor to watch you grow up, to see the strong, amazing and beautiful woman that you became. You made me better. You made us all better. There was so much that I should have told you that I didn’t. I should have told you the truth. But it’s up to you now. It’s up to you to save him. I’m sorry it’s on your shoulder. But you’re the only one that can save him. It’s always been you. Your father and I meeting, becoming friends, it was kismet. He led me to you. You have to find it and take it for your own. I loved you so much. I wish I had let you know how much...” Before she could ask him what he was talking about, who she was supposed to save he collapsed to the ground. She grabbed the door knob to open the door to the cabin. She knew the answers were in there. She just had to get inside...

“BLAKE!” Her eyes shot open and she jumped up

as she hears Dean scream her name. He and Sam were staring at her. She was crying and hyperventilating. She felt Sam pull her to him.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Breath Bee. You have to breath.” She let the sound of his heart beat regulate her own and then she pulled away and stood up. “Blake?” Sam and Dean gave her questioning eyes. She just shook her head at them and ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Sam looked over to Dean. “She hasn’t had a nightmare like that in a long time. She tried to tell me they went away but I didn’t believe her. I assumed they at least had gotten better for her to say they were gone.”

“I’ve seen her through more nightmares than I can count. It’s never been that intense. She was crying in her sleep and then crying out for Dad.” Dean stood and walked over to the bathroom door. He tried to turn the handle but the door was locked.

“Blake! Open the door.”

“I’m fine. Please just go away.”

“You’re not fine. Let me in.”

“Leave me alone...” Dean walked away from the door. He looked at the clock, it was 7pm. He grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.

“I’m going to the bar. Join me or not.” He slammed the door on the way out. Apparently a terrifying nap time dream wasn’t enough to break the wall between Blake and Dean.

___________________________________________

“Are you sure that you want to be here? You were kind of messed up from that dream.” Sam was behind the wheel of the Impala. He and Blake had driven to the bar Dean was hanging out at.

“Sam, I’m fine. And I need alcohol, badly.”

“And you’re sure you don’t want to talk about it?” He questioned her again.

“I told you I don’t remember what it was about.” Sam knew she was lying. She had told him after she had moved back to California that she never forgot any dreams she had, especially the bad ones. This one was either deeply personal or she hadn’t decided what it meant yet. This was Dean’s territory. He could reach her in ways that Sam could not. Sam tried to not take it personally. She had come to him when she needed someone to save her from herself. But there was just a part of her that she saved for Dean and no one else was allowed access.

“Okay Bee.” She turned her body and opened the car door and climbed out. Sam’s eyes raked over

her body. She was wearing quite possibly the tightest ripped jeans he had ever seen on someone. He wasn’t even sure how she got them on. She paired them with sky high pointed toed heels and a black off the shoulder top. You’d have to be dead to not think she was hot. He knew that outfit was for one person, his brother. It was classically Blake. Super sexy but not a lot exposed. She was going to make Dean suffer and make him crack first. Sam wasn’t sure if it was better to stick around and see how it played out or if he should run. Clearly Blake had intentions to push whatever had popped into her unconscious way down. Sam was worried about what would happen when it came back to the surface. He jumped out of the Impala and ran after her. He internally groaned when he saw Dean with a bleached blonde bar fly attached to his lap with Blake watching with a dangerous look in her eyes. Sam internally rolled his own eyes, Blake was over Dean as much as he was over what happened to Jess.

Dean saw her out of the corner of his eye. Her dark curly hair was perfectly wild. The jeans that were all but painted on. Her beautiful shoulders exposed and the heels. God did he love a good pair of heels. He wanted nothing more to push the local away and go to her. He’d wanted nothing but that for as long as he could remember. But he wouldn’t go there, not without her asking him to. She had said it wasn’t the right time for them. She would decide when it was. He turned his attention back to the matter at hand, the coed sitting in his lap.

____________________________________________

“So are you from around here?” Blake looked up through her lashes at the dark eyed man looking down at her.

“No.” She smiled. “Just stopped in town for a road trip break” His name was Jason and he attended the local university. Blake was already 5 tequilas deep, so she couldn’t remember what he was majoring in and truth be told she didn’t care. She was just looking to forget. He placed the hand on the small of her back to lead her over to the dart board. It was such a Dean move. It’s how he guided her through a room, out to the Impala. It felt wrong letting someone else do it. She was about to turn to tell Jason she needed a rain check and go talk to Dean, but when she looked back to him, the same blonde was hooked onto him. She turned back and let Jason lead her away.

Sam did the best he could to keep an eye on Blake. She was plastered to some guy who was getting really handsy. This was the Blake that had surfaced when she moved back to California. Drinking 4 nights a week and a different guy handing in her every night. She had settled down once she had gotten into a routine. Sam knew if

he tried to pull her away she’d dig her heels in. For not being a Winchester by blood, she was sure as Hell stubborn like one. Sam knew she was trying to forget something by the amount of liquor she was downing. Sam had gone to use the bathroom and when he came back out she was gone. Sam was at his breaking point and stalked over to Dean and his friend.

“Did you see where Blake went?” He demanded. Dean didn’t even bother to look at him.

“Last I saw she was playing darts with tall, dark and handsome.”

“Dean she’s gone and so is he. She had about 12 drinks. She’s not thinking clearly!” That grabbed Dean’s attention and he peeled himself away from the blonde.

They re-circled the bar three times and didn’t find her. Sam reassured Dean that she wouldn’t have left without telling him. It wasn’t until they went out back that they found her. They heard her before they saw her. She seemed half conscious and whoever the guy was had her up against the building with his hands all over her kissing her neck. “No....stop.” She was struggling to push him away from her.

“Hey!” Dean yelled as he and Sam stalked over to where they were. Sam grabbed him and yanked him off of her. Dean scooped Blake up in his arms while Sam dealt with the douche that had his hands all over her. She was trying to keep her eyes open and she gripped onto his neck.

“I’m sorry Dee. I don’t know what happened.” He could barely make out the words she was saying.

“Shhh babydoll, it’s okay. Let’s get you out of here. I’m going to take care of you.” He felt her go limp in his arms, kicking himself on the way to the Impala for being a jerk and not keeping a closer eye on her.

__________________________________________

“So that dick slipped something in her drink.” Sam confirmed when he got back to the motel. Dean was sitting next to Blake on the bed.

“I figured. She’s completely unconscious. She could barely string a sentence together. Sammy...what the hell? I need you to fill me in on how she was when she was with you. The Blake I know...that pill never would have gotten into her drink.” Sam watched as Dean ran his hand down his face. Sam sat down on the bed across from him.

“When she came back to California...she was a mess. I have never seen anyone so broken before. The first, year...I think? She drank...a lot. Almost every day. And not like a beer or two, she could finish a bottle of bourbon and keep going. But she was never not in control of her facilities. She can hold her liquor. She was drinking everything away.” Sam swallowed the lump in his throat not wanting to continue. “There were guys, a lot of guys. She was trying to lose herself. I tried to talk her down but she wouldn’t listen. She was angry. She was so sick of you and Dad telling her what to do. I was afraid that if I tried harder to stop her she’d run from me too. So I just watched her. Jess and I both did. She and Jess became really good friends and I think that helped. She wouldn’t talk about you. And she definitely wouldn’t talk about Dad. But eventually she seemed to settle. She started taking classes again. She trained to become an EMT. She said she needed to help people. That was how she was doing it. I think not helping you guys on cases made her feel useless. So she found a different way to rescue people. I started to see glimpses of our Blake. I saw the light back in her eyes. I think the accident and finding out she couldn’t have kids did a real number on her. She told Jess that she wasn’t sure I’d she even wanted kids. But not having the option? It did something to her. I think working with her young kids helped her deal with that. And then she met a guy.” Dean’s head snapped up. “He was really great. He settled her down. He was this British guy, Jeremiah Jax. He was here on a work visa. I thought he was going to be it. But then he lost his work visa and had to go back home. He wanted her to go with him. I thought she was going to but she said no. I’m pretty positive she said no because of you.” Dean turned to study your face again. The idea of you with someone else? He hated it. But he’d be a hypocrite to express that. He had been with plenty of other people. Dean looked back to Sam and he took it as his cue to continue. “I thought that Jax leaving would cause her to spiral again, but it didn’t. I’m pretty sure that’s when the two of you started talking regularly again. Dean, look, she may have pulled away from you, but she was still with you. I know you didn’t know that, but she stayed for you.” Dean nodded his head taking it all in.

“Yeah, pretty sure he won’t be doing that to any other girl...ever.”

“Good. Get some sleep.” Dean sat with his back against the head board watching Blake sleep.

__________________________________________

“Ughhhhh.” Blake groaned. She felt like someone was poking at her brain with a sharp object. It took her a few moments to realize where she was. She sat up with a start and felt the blood rush to her head. “Ouch.” She held her head.

“Here.” She looked up to Dean. He was handing her coffee and a bottle of Advil. “I’d ask you how you’re feeling but that would be a dumb question.”

“What the hell happened? Last thing I remember was playing darts with that Jason guy.”

“Yeah Prince Charming slipped you a roofie. Sam and I found you before he could do anything.”

“God...how did I miss that?! I’m so stupid.” Her head was back in her hands.

“Hey....hey. This isn’t your fault. It’s his.” Dean sat down on the bed and took her hand. “He tried to take advantage of you. That’s not your fault. Guys like that...” Dean shook his head. When Blake looked up with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Dee.” He pulled her into him and hugged her tightly.

“Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for. Let’s leave the last few years in the past okay? We both made mistakes.” He kissed her forehead. “Go take a shower. Sam went to get some food. You can rest after you eat. We actually found a case here, but you can sit this one out. And don’t argue. You need to bounce back from last night” Blake nodded and stood up on unsteady legs. Dean helped steady her. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks for always having my back.” And then she disappeared into the bathroom.

#dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #spn imagine #spn #spn fanfiction #spn imagines #dean winchester imagines #supernatural imagine #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagines #sam winchester #john winchester

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kgyeomiex · 5 years

Text

Secrets (M)

“We weren’t meant to be. We should have never kissed. I should not have become that weak soul which needs you. We shouldn’t have met, but we did.”

Summary: I call him devil because he makes me want to sin. And every time he knocks… I can’t help but let him in…

Hoseok was my brother’s best friend. He was nothing but bad news, but the more I spent time around him… the more I couldn’t help but fall for him…

Temptation is a dangerous thing… especially with a guy like him…

Has become a youtube series: (Trailer) (Part 1) (Part 2)

Previous Parts:

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Part 11

Part 12 is finally here...

More Parts:

Part 13

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have no idea why Hoseok cares whether I’m jealous or not. Hoseok shouldn’t care anyway, especially since the boy now has a girlfriend. I crossed my arms and instantly rolled my eyes.

“Why would I admit to something that’s not true?” I asked Hoseok and he just smiles.

I swear Hoseok is toxic. The moment he smirks I know he finds it amusing to bother me and I’m sick of it.

“Jennie, it’s okay you had your chance but you rejected me,” I mean what else was I supposed to do? Let Hoseok come into my life to fuck everything up? No thanks. I almost did that and after I snapped back into reality, I realized that it was a major mistake.

“You and I both know you don’t do relationships. Just because you’re in one now doesn’t mean that the two of you are going to last,” I didn’t mean to be a complete asshole to Hoseok but it’s true.

Everyone who knows Hoseok knows he’s a fuckboy. He easily gets tired of girls and moves on to the next. I feel bad for his girlfriend right now but hey she should have known what she was signing herself up for.

I was waiting for Hoseok to make another comment but he stayed quiet. I stood there for a bit staring at Hoseok in silence waiting for him to say something. However, he just stood there looking right at me. Well, guess this is my cue to leave.

Not saying a single word so I walked off.

I don’t like Hoseok… I don’t like Hoseok…

If anything I hate him.

“Jennie!” I heard my name being called. I instantly jumped up and looked at Kevin waving his hands in the air side to side. Oh shit, when did he get here?

Here I am laying in bed completely distracted trying to admit to myself that I hate Hoseok. I had my eyes closed listening to music and here comes Kevin trying to capture my damn attention… I mean I could have been sleeping… How rude.

“Sorry, what?” I asked as I took off my headphones and Kevin rolled his eyes.

“I could have been dying and it would have taken you five years for you to realize I’m dead,” one thing Kevin and I had in common was that both of us are incredibly dramatic. I guess you can say it runs in the family.

“Oh come on, it probably would have been longer than five years,” I said playing along and instead of Kevin making a comment he grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it right at me.

“I’m kidding,” I pushed the pillow aside and looked at Kevin. What did he want anyway?

Usually, when Kevin comes into my room it’s a favor… There has never been a moment I can recall where Kevin just comes into the room out of the blue just to have a conversation….

Nope never happened.

“Anyways what’s up?” I asked Kevin looking at my phone but instead of hearing him talk I heard pure silence…

Why is he quiet…

I slowly picked up my head and seen Kevin smiling from ear to ear. Oh no… He wants something… Just from that smile, I know that no is not an answer…

“Oh no…” Kevin quickly ran up to me and grabbed my wrist.

“Jennie! Please… I need you to do me this favor,” oh god…

“Let me hear it,” I said crossing my arms and Kevin just smiles.

“Just say you’ll do it,” the bad thing about Kevin is he wants you to automatically confirm that you will do his favor without even letting me have a chance to hear it first.

“No, the last time you made me say yes I ended up carrying Hoseok and you all the way home because first of all you two were sloppy drunk and no one had money for a cab!” I reminded Kevin that tragic night and Kevin looked down.

“I told you I was sorry,” bullshit but whatever.

“So before I agree to anything I need to hear what your favor consists of,” I said crossing my arms putting the most serious face I could on and Kevin looks right at me.

“It’s not as bad as you’re probably thinking,” so that means it doesn’t involve Hoseok and him being drunk? Or Hoseok at all?

“Okay, so what is it?” I have no idea why Kevin can’t just simply tell me what the favor is. I mean I’ll keep asking him to tell me but instead, he’s beating around the bush.

“Okay… So let’s just say I have a date tomorrow,” okay what on earth does that have to do with me?

“And what do you want me to do about that?” Was Kevin going to make me call his date and lie that he left out of the country or something?

“You know… First dates are usually awkward,” Kevin stopped talking for a split second tried to find a way to properly ask me.

“And well I was hoping you and Jungkook could tag along with me and my date to an amusement park,” well this is the first time Kevin’s favor isn’t bad… It’s kind of too good to be true.

“What’s the catch?” I instantly asked and Kevin just looked at me and smiled. Okay, that smile says it all.

“Hoseok and his girlfriend will be joining us too,” nope nope at first I was going to give Kevin the benefit of the doubt but hell no I am not going to be around Hoseok. No one can force me to be around that ass anymore.

“Yeah no thanks,” I said and Kevin looked right at me.

“Come on! I know you hate Hoseok but you’re going to be with your date so you won’t technically be around him,” Who cares if I know Hoseok’s presence is around me I won’t be able to focus on Jungkook without being worried that Hoseok will come with a plan up his damn sleeve.

“Kevin, I love you but I’m selfish. I will not force myself to be around someone I hate,” I feel bad saying no to Kevin but if I agree to go I have a bad feeling about it… Why would I want to make myself suffer like that?

“Jennie,”

I shook my head and rested my hand on Kevin’s shoulder.

“Look Kevin let’s just drop it, no matter how many times you ask me I will continue saying no,” Kevin got up and looked at me.

“Well although you told me no, if you change your mind you know exactly where to find me,” I know I wasn’t going to change my mind however I just nodded my head and watched Kevin walk away.

I laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Not only would Hoseok try to do something to destroy my relationship with Jungkook but the whole tension would feel awkward… Although I hate Hoseok it’s hard not to act weird around him especially because I shared my first kiss with the boy.

Maybe Taehyung was right… Sharing my first kiss with Hoseok wasn’t a good idea, I have no idea what on earth I was thinking in the first place.

I grabbed my phone and knew I had to ask my best friend for some advice. Taehyung always knew what to do and right now you needed help making up your mind.

Why did I agree to this? I swear I am going to regret ever saying yes to this. Just the fact that I am going to be with my boyfriend and Hoseok sounds like trouble.

I just hope that Hoseok just stays focused on his little girlfriend and learns to leave me alone. I can’t do this playing with my feelings anymore.

“Jennie,” I looked over and noticed Jungkook finally approaching my brother and I. Not only are we all going to spend time in the amusement park but also we are all going to be in the same car.

“For a second I thought you weren’t going to make it,” I said as Jungkook was now standing right in front of me and he smiled.

“You know I wouldn’t miss our date in the world,” Jungkook slowly leaned in getting ready to kiss you until…

“I’m here!” Both Jungkook and I pull away and there I see Hoseok looking over at me with a smirk.

Was that necessary?

I swear I will try my hardest to be on my best behavior but if Hoseok says or does anything that will piss me off I swear everyone will see a flying shoe being thrown his direction.

“No one cares,” I mumbled and jungkook looked over at me but I just smiled.

“My date is running a couple of minutes late… If you guys want you can start heading into the car,” I looked at Jungkook and in no time the both of us approached the car.

As we reached the doors I was about to grab the door handle till...

“Oh my my look who we have here,” Hoseok was right in front of you smirking.

You all haven’t left yet to the date but here you are getting annoyed with Hoseok already.

“Hoseok… Do you mind pushing over, Jungkook and I are trying to take a seat,” Hoseok looked at the car door and then back at you.

“I actually do mind, maybe I wanted to take a seat first,” I took one look over at Jungkook and he looked at me a bit concerned.

He probably has a feeling that I'm ready to attack this man. Or maybe he knows that this trip was going to be a long one since I’m probably going to be arguing with Hoseok.

No matter how many times the both of us talk and discuss about being friends it’s never really an option just because both of us got on each other's nerves…

I have no idea why we can’t seem to get along but oh well…

“Let’s just let them take a seat first,” Jungkook says looking over at me and I glanced over at Hoseok and seen him smirking.

“But-,” I was going to continue arguing and make sure that I didn’t let Hoseok get what he wanted but there was no point.

Maybe I should have done what I was planning to do and ignore Hoseok’s existence. I swear no matter how hard I try to ignore Hoseok and his presences, it never seems to work out. He’s everywhere…

Hoseok walked over to the car and took one look at me before entering. He smirked and looked at me up and down. Oh, this boy has some nerves…

I wanted to react and kick but with Jungkook by my side, I knew I couldn’t. I had to act like I wasn’t bothered especially with Jungkook by my side.

As Hoseok and his girlfriend sat in the car, Jungkook and I looked inside and realized there was one more seat left. I looked over at Jungkook and noticed him awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Looks like there is only one spot left…” Well great going Kevin…

Wait, why am I blaming him? Oh, that’s right he’s the main reason why you even agreed to come to this stupid trip in the first place.

“I forgot that Kevin’s car is extremely small.” Jungkook looked at you and awkwardly smiled.

“I mean if you want you can sit on my lap, if not… Hos-” I instantly cut him off the moment he began to call out Hoseok’s name.

“I’ll sit on your lap,” Jungkook slowly makes his way in the car and at that moment I hopped in as well and took a seat at his lap.

I don’t know why but as I was sitting on Jungkook’s lap, I looked over at Hoseok and noticed how bothered he seemed to be. A huge smile of satisfaction spread across my face.

Maybe this trip will be fun after all…

After that long trip of sitting in a car for a couple of hours, we finally arrived at our destination.

I knew the trip with going to be interesting especially since Hoseok was also joining me and my brother with his girlfriend... But I didn’t think it was going to get interesting this fast in the day.

The moment I sat on Jungkook’s lap, Hoseok already started to act immature and salty for no reason.

As I tried to talk to my brother or even Jungkook, Hoseok would make noises or even talk but made sure that was louder than I was. He even had control of the music so the moment he saw that I was about to talk he would put the music louder than my voice.

I was annoyed but I tried not to let that get to me, I tried my hardest to act as if that didn’t bother me but then he began to do other things that began to annoy me. After giving me such a hard time trying to even speak, he let me speak eventually but he had a comment to almost everything.

A person can only take so much.

Jungkook tried to calm me down but I snapped. Eventually, after dealing with Hoseok and his annoying mouth of his, we argued the whole car ride here...

Now I hope my brother understand why I don’t like coming out.

The moment we arrived I was the first one out of the car annoyed and ready to strangle a person… And by a person, I meant the one and only Hoseok.

“Jennie… Everything is going to be fine, we’ll just be as far away as possible from Hoseok, okay?” Jungkook says looking directly at me and instead of continuing with the issue I just nodded my head and accepted it.

“Okay fine,” I mumbled trying my hardest to be the mature one in the situation.

At last everyone was out of the car and we all walked on our way to the main entrance. I tried my hardest not to look over at Hoseok but I couldn’t help myself especially because I swear I feel his eyes on me.

“Shoot... “ Kevin stopped walking and then looked back at us.

“What happened now?” I asked as I watched Kevin pat down his pockets and instead of saying anything, he just awkwardly laughed…

Kevin didn’t even have to say much… I already knew what was happening. I watched him awkward pat his pockets and then looked over at us still smiling…

“Okay… So I have bad news,” I can tell…

“Let me guess you forget your wallet?” I asked Kevin right away not giving him much of a chance to explain himself.

Kevin stood quiet but slowly nodded his head.

“I know I brought it… But I think I left it back in the car,” I don’t know what came over me but it must be the fact that I don’t want to be around Hoseok any longer…

“I’ll get it,” everyone including Jungkook all looked at me surprised.

“What? I'm trying to do something nice… Is that so wrong?” I said before I walked off walking back to where Kevin parked his car...

Honestly, I was expecting some quiet but it wasn’t long until it was suddenly rudely interrupted.

“Isn’t it just a nice day to go out for a walk.” I looked over my shoulder and there I see Hoseok right by my side.

I thought if I were to leave the area for a few I would have a break from Hoseok… But I guess the joke is on me because he’s still right here by my damn side… I swear can’t Hoseok get the damn clue, get lost.

“Why are you here?” I asked Hoseok annoyed and irritated and instead of answering my question, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and smiled.

“Don’t you think that if we spend more time with each other we can finally learn how to get along?” Hoseok says and I couldn’t help but to automatically laugh.

How many chances has Hoseok had to fix things and how many times had he fucked up all his chances? Way too many to count.

“Hoseok I don’t have time to play your stupid childish games,” I’m pretty sure I told Hoseok this before but it hasn’t processed clearly into his damn head.

“Jennie, come on,” he grabs my hand and stops me from walking.

I froze and looked at his hand.

“Hoseok let go,” I will talk to Hoseok if that’s what he wants, however, I don’t want him to be touching me as he does so…

“I’m sorry,” he removed his hand and sighed.

“Look let’s face it… You and I can’t be friends, it won’t ever work out and you know it,” I didn’t want to be so mean about it but it’s true. Hoseok and I can’t ever seem to meet eye to eye plus… Every time I’m around him this unfamiliar feeling comes out of the blue and I don’t know how to react or what to say so I rather keep my distance.

“You’re right,” He says and I was expecting that respond… It was the response that I should be happy to hear however I felt rather disappointed… Now I’m just confusing myself.

“Alright then,” I was getting ready to walk to my brother's car but then Hoseok suddenly starts speaking causing me to stop walking any further.

“You and I might not be able to be friends… But maybe that’s because you and I are meant to be more,”

I felt my heart suddenly race and I felt my mouth go dry. What do I even say?

To be honest, right at this moment I have no idea if I should believe any word Hoseok is telling me or not. Hoseok tends to lie a lot and I don’t want to fall for any of his lies again.

“Hoseok, come on. You and I both know that we are bad for each other.” I said looking right into Hoseok eyes to make sure he knows I'm serious.

“You don’t believe that,” Hoseok says and although deep down inside I have this little hope where Hoseok and I can be together… I know that we shouldn’t because we are bad for each other….

“I do,” I have to stand my ground even if that means lying to his face.

“Then tell me right now that you want me out of your life for good. That you want nothing to do with me and I will leave you alone for good,” this is easier said than done…

I’m afraid that I can look at him straight in the face and say those words…

“Hoseok… I want you to…” I stopped talking and suddenly forgot how to even form a proper sentence out of my mouth.

Shit, I think that cat caught my tongue…

I wanted to tell Hoseok to leave me alone and stop playing these pathetic games but for some reason, I couldn't get myself to say it… It’s like even though my brain might believe that I don’t want anything to do with Hoseok my heart says something completely different.

“You what?” Hoseok says waiting for me to finish my sentence but again I couldn’t dare say a word.

“I… I need to get my brother wallet,” I blurted out instead and I quickly removed myself from Hoseok and went to my brother's car.

I know I messed up by not telling Hoseok off but it seems nearly impossible to even say. Now that Hoseok knows what kind of effect he has on me I highly doubt that he will ever leave me alone… Great…

I can’t believe I couldn’t say those damn words. I want you out of my life. SEE it’s that easy.

As soon as I arrived at my brother's car I opened the door and grabbed his wallet.

“What took you so long?” Kevin asks as soon as you arrive back to the group.

“Sorry… I was trying to find it,” I tried to use the best excuse I could to avoid speaking the truth.

“Look for it? Why it should have been right there…” Kevin says making everyone look at me even Hoseok... Shit, I should have seen this coming.

“Well you should know this by now I am blind, “ I was hoping Kevin wouldn’t ask me any further questions.

I could feel Kevin look at me not convinced with my response but he didn’t say anything after that. Instead, he smiled and clapped his hands.

“We shall go,”

“Did Hoseok say anything to you,” I jumped up and looked at Jungkook completely caught off guard.

“Sorry, what?” Where was this coming from?

Jungkook and I were strolling through the amusement park and out of the blue he asks me about Hoseok.

“When you went to get your brothers wallet, did Hoseok say anything to you?” Why was Jungkook all of a sudden interested in Hoseok?

Where was this suddenly coming from? Is there something going on between Hoseok and Jungkook that you don’t know about?

Right now I could automatically blurt out why, but if I were to do that then Jungkook would be suspicious. I decided it was a better idea if I answered his question first and then question him back.

“No why would he?” I asked turning the question back to him.

I feel like there is some kind of tension between Jungkook and Hoseok but no one tells me anything.

“No reason... Just curious,” I could tell that Jungkook was trying to keep the conversation short. Okay, what was up with all of this?

Did Jungkook and Hoseok talk before Hoseok went to look for you? I am beyond suspicious but right now talking to Jungkook about Hoseok will just ruin the mood for an amusement park… Right now all I have to do is bite my tongue and wait till we leave.

“Okay, now onto more important things. Today it’s just about you and me.” I said grabbed a hold of Jungkook’s hand and he smiles.

“That’s perfect, I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Jungkook says giving me his famous bunny smile.

“But what should we do first?” Jungkook asks looking at me. In the beginning, I began to think… Hmm, we can go straight to the rides or…. Before I could finish my train of thought I noticed a couple walking near Jungkook and I.

The two were wearing those themed headsets couples usually wear and it gave me an idea. To be honest I have watched a lot of K-dramas's in my life so I know what those headbands mean.

“Jungkook…. I have an idea,” Instead of explaining myself I grabbed Jungkook and dragged him to the nearest store.

Maybe it won’t hurt too much to try to reenact a K-drama cute scene.

Hoseok’s Point of View

I have no idea why I am here with Chanmi… If anything I have no idea why I thought having a girlfriend would be a fun idea. I don’t even want to be here with this girl…

I looked over at Chanmi and noticed that she was still talking. I couldn’t help but block her the whole. I swear the only thing I hear come out of her mouth is her bragging about herself. We get it you love yourself now can we move on.

“Baby,” Chanmi grabs my hand and I quickly pulled away.

“What?” I didn’t mean to be a complete ass but right now for some strange reason the only person that kept coming to my mind was Jennie…

Where did Jungkook and her go? Did she find somewhere she could go avoid me…

The more I thought about Jennie the more I thought I should go look for her and see what her and Jungkook are up to.

“Hoseok!” I turned around and see Kevin and his girlfriend, next to them I noticed Jennie and Jungkook.

Shit, I need to do something fast. I looked over at Chanmi and grabbed a hold of her hand. Chanmi looked at me confused but then smiled.

Trust me, I am not holding her hand because I want to. I am holding her hand because I see Jennie and Jungkook… Plus on top of that, Kevin believes that I like Chanmi and I have to play the part so he won’t figure out who I really like.

As the four approached me and my date, I couldn’t help but look over at Jungkook and Jennie. The first thing that caught my attention was that I suddenly noticed that Jennie and Jungkook had matching headbands.

What is this…

Jennie’s Point of View

Today I planned to enjoy my date time with Jungkook but Kevin had other plans. After meeting Kevin back at the store, he immediately had an idea.

Kevin believes that if we all go on the rides together it will be way more fun than just being with your date…

I have no idea if I can agree to that, especially with the fact that Hoseok has joined us today. I wanted to refuse Kevin’s plan but I felt bad. The purpose of today was to help him out with his date… I couldn’t be a complete ass even though I wanted to be selfish and avoid Hoseok at all causes.

As Jungkook and I followed behind Kevin, I saw Hoseok and his girlfriend from afar.

Ugh great… Now I have to go back to dealing with him.

As soon as Hoseok was right in front of all of us he looked right at me and then at Jungkook.

“Wow how lame, aren’t you two too old to be wearing headbands,” Hoseok says smirking thinking the comment had some kind of effect on me but it didn’t.

“What? Babe, they look adorable,” Hoseok’s girlfriend says defending Jungkook and I and I just simply smiled.

I am not even going to lie…. I forgot that Hoseok had a date, she has been quiet the whole time until now.

“Hoseok over here is still new with the whole relationship idea so he doesn’t understand what’s in,” Kevin tells his date and Hoseok’s girlfriend they just nodded their head.

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the case. If anything Hoseok just had to simply say something to try to get on my damn nerves. To be honest, Hoseok can just simply breath and he will get on my damn nerves.

Hoseok noticed that no one was affected by his snobbish comment which made me smile in satisfaction.

He already tried to ruin the date in the beginning but I won’t let him do it now. Right now it’s all about Jungkook and you and no one can ruin that…

And when you say no one, you mean no one…

Not

Even

Hoseok.

“By the way, before you all decide to split off I had an idea,” Kevin suddenly speaks and you all looked at him.

“Instead of everyone splitting off and doing their own thing I was thinking why don’t we all just stay together and enjoy the rides that way,” what?!

This wasn’t a part of the plan? When did you agree to this?

How long can you be around Hoseok before you decide to kill him?

I looked at Jungkook and he didn’t look too happy… I looked over and noticed that Jungkook was eyeing Hoseok...

Is there something I should know about? Does Jungkook think Hoseok and I have something going on…

~ To Be Continued

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phoenixsavant · 5 years

Text

AS - Recovery

I was chatting with SapphiraIce from Tumblr about V's after ending. After admitting that I felt that Seven was cheated out of being part of saving his brother, this idea hit me. So, it's all her fault. Here's Saeran's rescue with Seven in on it.

Not sure if this will be a one-off or turn into another series. We'll see. There's certainly fertile ground to write more, but I'm not sure if it needs more.

Seven reeled back from the force of the explosion. He was barely aware of the wave of heat that swept across his skin even as an arm rose protectively to cover his face. He peered over the black cloth of his hoodie as rubble fell.

“No…” he whispered. “No…”

The flames rose high, consuming what remained of the rooftop and encompassing the odd, steeple-like extension over the main entrance. Seven’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. From some half-forgotten place inside, a scream rose, filling the air around him. The volume competed with the roaring of the inferno that filled his sight.

Twice he tried to approach the building, determined to find the man he suspected would be inside. Cinders scorched his sleeve before the heat drove him back. Cursing the instinctive self-preservation within himself, a feeling he didn’t find in his thoughts at all, he fell to his knees, weeping.

“Saeran, please, no…”

He didn’t move as the building burned itself into a pile of ash and rubble.

(Two days later)

The phone rang again, and Seven hated that he’d created it to withstand any abuse he could give it. Throwing it would have felt better if he’d thought it would actually shatter on impact.

Why is V calling me? What can he possibly think he has left to say to me. I know. I know he let Saeran die. He has to know that I figured it out. If he were smart, he’d just disappear.

He turned up the volume on his headphones, determined to focus on his work. It wasn’t the work he’d been assigned, but that didn’t matter. Nothing matter anymore, not really. Still, before it was done he would see to it that there was penance for the death of his brother.

Saeran, the first secret he’d carried among the hundreds of thousands that now rattled through his mind. The better half of the twins, in his estimation. His brother had been kinder, gentler than anyone he’d known as a child or since. To first find that he’d been turned into a hacker, denied the simple joys of a normal life, that had been a heavy enough blow. Then to lose him when he’d been so close, it was more than the red-haired hacker could endure. Yes, there would be payment, in full if he had any say.

After another half dozen calls, he finally answered the call. “What do you want?” he snarled.

“There’s a chance Saeran is alive. I’m on the way to pick you up.”

Seven’s heart froze in his chest. He looked over his shoulder, making sure that Vanderwood was still in the kitchen. “What? How? If he was inside that place, he’s not alive. I was there. I saw…”

“I know what you saw,” V said, cutting him off. “I also just found out that the room he should have been in was reinforced and may have survived the explosion. Get ready. I’ll be there in less than five minutes.”

The line went dead. Seven stared at the phone in his hands. Right now, all he wanted was to beat V hard enough to leave him hospitalized for life. He hated the man who’d been like a father to him. He had been betrayed at every turn.

A slim chance is better than no chance.

Deciding that his project to exact revenge for Saeran could wait for a few hours, he scribbled a note for Vanderwood, snuck to his room, and shoved a few items into a backpack and slipped out without his partner detecting his absence. Outside, he sped along the path to the place he knew V would be waiting.

V’s car idled under the trees, its driver waiting inside. Seven took a deep breath, pushing down the desire to take out his rage on the man he’d trusted with the most important part of his life. Yanking the door open, he flung himself into the front seat and shoved his backpack to the floor. He didn’t look at V as he pulled the door closed and asked, “What do you mean he’s still alive? This better not be a trick. I’ll kill you if it is.”

He felt he should have been surprised at how dangerous his voice sounded. The dark, deep tones filled the interior of the vehicle.

“I talked to Rika. She told me that the room Saeran would have been in to trigger the explosion was heavily reinforced. She said it’s possible that he survived. I don’t know what we’ll find, but I can’t dig him out on my own. Whether he survived or not, you should be there when…” V’s voice faltered.

Seven looked over at the blue-haired man. He was surprised to catch what looked like V wiping a tear away from his face. “So it was him? The hacker that attacked the RFA was Saeran?”

“Yes, it was him.” V glanced at Seven. “I’m sorry, more than I have words for. I was trying to save him, to get him out of there. It wasn’t supposed to be…”

“Damn straight it wasn’t supposed to be that way!” Seven growled. “I don’t want your apologies, V. In fact, fuck you and your apologies. The only reason I’m here is because you used Saeran’s name. If you hadn’t, I’d have told you to go to hell and blocked your calls.” His fingers curled into tight fists in his lap. “You’re a liar and a traitor. I hate you.”

Almost as much as I hate myself.

“I know. I don’t blame you.”

“Shut up and drive.”

The rest of the trip to Magenta passed in complete silence. Seven’s mind roared within his skull, so enraged with V that his head ached somewhat by the time they arrived. His jaw felt as if it had been soldered shut, so fiercely had he been clenching it.

The car rolled up to the pile of charred rubble where Magenta had stood just as the sun began its descent toward the horizon. Stepping out of the car and rolling his shoulders, Seven wished he’d been able to pack better. They’d have to make do with the flashlights he’d brought instead of having the larger lights in his own car. He wasn’t stopping when night came. He wasn’t stopping until he held his brother, alive or dead.

“Where?” he asked V.

“This way,” V answered, taking a pair of shovels from the trunk and moving swiftly to the rear of the building. “There’s supposed to be a stairway leading down and the reinforced room is at the bottom. She said the stairwell was built the same as the room, so it should be standing. If it isn’t, I have ropes.” He paused, looking down at the younger man. “We will find him.”

Seven responded with a grunt, watching to see where V began digging. He grabbed the extra shovel and joined in.

The only thing to alert either man to the passage of time was the lengthening of shadows around them. They did not pause in their efforts, setting aside the shovels only when they had to work together to move a larger remnant of the building aside. The ash and soot filled the air, choking them and leaving black streaks cut by trails of sweat.

When the sun went down, they tried setting up the flashlights but quickly found that there was no way to position them to keep enough light on the situation to make sufficient progress. V pulled the car around, bouncing it gently over the scorched flower beds until he could bathe the site beneath the headlights.

The path to the location of the stairwell opened before them and they worked their way down through three floors of debris, searching for the promised opening.

Seven had often prayed, his faith in God being his anchor in life, but he’d never prayed like this. Anything, my life, my freedom, anything, just let him be alive. Let me reach him. Let him be there. Please don’t show me his body when we get through this. I’ll give anything, anything….

The words raced, repeating endlessly, like a summoner’s chant.

V’s shovel drove through the mess and stopped with a loud clang. Looking at Seven he pulled it back and slammed it down again, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. A second impact resounded through the still air and both men turned to scraping away the blackness over the solid space. Hope gave way to despair as they realized they were standing on a massive block of cement right where the opening to the stairs should have been.

Seven dragged his shovel around, seeking the edges of the block, his horror growing as he realized that either a floor or a large exterior wall had collapsed on this exact spot. He hadn’t packed any explosives, and the segment was too large to rope off and pull away. For the second time, he sunk to his knees at Magenta and screamed into the night.

“You damn fool,” a gruff voice called from the darkness. “First you run off without telling me, make me track your ass to the middle of nowhere, and now you’re just going to give up?”

Seven’s hand shot to where his gun should have been, but he’d left it in the car.

“Right, because you wouldn’t have been dead two hours ago if I’d wanted it.” A red spot grew, the light of it briefly illuminating a face before Seven’s partner stepped into the glow of V’s headlights. He regarded the two men with a look of annoyance and took another drag on his cigarette before dropping it and stamping it out with his toes. “So, what are you digging up?”

“A person,” V stated. “At least, we hope it’s a person still.”

“What happened here? This is one hell of a mess.”

“It was an explosion.”

Seven tried to signal V to stop talking but was ignored.

“We have reason to believe that someone is trapped under here, in a reinforced room. We’re trying to get to them. Are you here to help or get in the way?”

Seven knew he should have been used to V’s way of telling just enough without tipping his hand to anyone, but it startled him to hear anyone speak to Vanderwood in such a challenging tone.

Vanderwood stepped forward, approaching the chunk of concrete that had halted their progress. He looked around, evaluating the entire situation, noting the unstable piles of burned lumber and crumbling drywall around them. “If you hadn’t snuck off, you’d have had the right tools for the job. Didn’t you learn anything from me, agent?”

He spun on his heel, stalking back out into the darkness. When he returned, he left one large bag next to V’s car, and the other he carried to where V and Seven continued digging at the edges of the slab.

“Gotta crack it first, in pieces. We’ll have to take it out a little at a time or it’ll bring the rest of this shit show down on us.” He mumbled as he pulled wires and a grey putty-like substance from his bag. “Gotta slice it up like a pie and figure out what’s underneath it.” After a few minutes, he rose and said to Seven and V, “Get back. Move that car back, too. Give it an extra hundred feet.”

While they cleared the area, he set the explosives and ran the ignition wires back. Connecting them to a small detonator, he looked back and then hunched low to the ground before flipping the switch. The following series of explosions ran like a daisy chain from the edge of the concrete slab to the center. Smoke drifted through the air, but it didn’t look as if much had changed.

Seven approached the area, his eyes taking on a fresh light of hope as he saw row after row of deep cracks. They could move some of these pieces! They would get through!

Without waiting, he fell on the first crevasse, his fingers scrabbling at the rubble filling it, seeking a way to gain leverage.

Vanderwood groaned and waved for V to join him. Between the three of them, they managed to finish separating the outermost segment and haul it aside. They labored through the night, moving the heavy material as they were able, and Vanderwood setting small explosions to break up the pieces that were still too large.

Seven couldn’t recall his body being so tired or sore. He was finally thankful for the training he’d received from the agency. He knew he’d never have kept going without it. His hands were torn and bleeding, as were his arms. The usually bright gold rings on the shoulder of his hoodie had long since been lost to the black ash he’d been digging through with only one thought. He’d given up seeing through his glasses, and was glad that he could see well enough to continue without them. There was no keeping the lenses clear.

He noted that V was working just as hard, just as desperately. His mentor’s face was pinched with apprehension and determination. Never once had the photographer complained or stepped aside for a break, though his movements slowed as exhaustion crept through his body. Seeing how hard he worked left Seven feeling slightly less angry about V’s actions leading to this moment. It wasn’t as if V wasn’t responsible, but maybe Seven had misjudged his intentions.

Finally, they pried a large, triangular piece clear of the massive cement block and Seven shouted. “There’s an opening! It’s right here! We found it!”

“Keep your mind on what you’re doing,” Vanderwood snapped breathlessly. “Lift!”

The instant they had lowered the slab to the ground, Seven raced back, checking the opening he’d seen. He shone his flashlight into the narrow opening. “Stairs!” he called out. “I see stairs!”

V raced to Seven’s side, peering into the hole. “Yes, I see them too! This has to be it! There should be a door at the bottom, and the door just beyond that. Are the walls around the stairs intact, can you see?”

Seven started to lean his head and shoulder into the opening, now out of his mind to get down the stairs. Vanderwood yanked him back.

“You want to get your skull crushed?” the agent asked. “Look,” he pointed. “That entire mess is laying right over the stairwell. If you move too much around, you’ll bring it all down on yourself.”

Chastised, Seven sat on his heels. “We have to get down there,” he said helplessly.

“Yeah, I get that. At least, I hope that’s why we’ve been working ourselves to death all night.” He knelt, leaning over to look down into the stairwell. “This wall looks secure but I can’t see the far side.” He frowned as he evaluated the rest of the chunk they’d been breaking down. “This is too narrow for any of us. We need to clear one more piece.” His eyes narrowed and he drew lines in the air with his fingers before ordering, “Seven, get my bag. We’re going to set one more round.”

Using the shovel to gouge a small indentation into the cement, Vanderwood set a fresh explosive. When it went off, he’d cracked the block neatly to free a segment just large enough to allow them to step down onto the stairs.

V went first, testing the steps as he moved down into the darkness. “The walls held,” he announced, relief carrying up to the others as he moved further in, allowing them to follow.

At the end of the stairwell, however, was another mess. It seemed that several large pieces of flammable material had fallen into the stairs before they were covered. V groaned and leaned against the wall.

“Got a bucket?” Vanderwood asked.

“No, I don’t. I didn’t think we’d need one,” V said sorrowfully.

Vanderwood shook his head. “I’ll get one.” He retreated back up the stairwell, returning a few minutes later with the shovels and the promised bucket. Passing the tools to V and Seven, he settled himself on the stairs and lit a cigarette. “This is your rescue op. You dig. I’m going to take a break.”

Seven couldn’t even find one of his usual quips to tease Vanderwood about getting old. He slammed the blade of the shovel into the upper layers of the debris before him and began filling the bucket.

With V and Seven both digging, Vanderwood’s break was short lived. He hauled each load to the surface, making countless trips and keeping light on the work until the doorway beyond could be seen.

Seven turned to V, shaking his head. The heavy, metal door lay partially open, twisted and scorched, half off its hinges. The room beyond could barely be seen into. Seven felt his heart might just lose the ability to break. The past few days had been such a rollercoaster of extreme emotions. To have worked so hard, to have finally broken through, only to find…

He put his shoulder against the twisted metal hunk and pushed with all his weight. Vanderwood joined him and together, they forced it open far enough to slip through.

Stumbling over a blackened board, Seven took the first steps, panning his light around the room. “Come on,” he whispered. “Be alive, be alive.”

V followed them into the room and the three men split up, searching the cavernous space.

“The hell was this, anyway?” Vanderwood asked, seeing the bank of monitors with their screens blown apart.

“A programming center,” V answered quickly, saving Seven from having to think of a plausible story.

“Programming center, huh?” Vanderwood’s tone clarified that he didn’t believe V, but wasn’t going to ask again.

“Here!” V called, dropping his light and grasping at the edge of a tall set of shelves.

Seven was at his side in a flash, grunting as they righted the shelves, revealing the form of a young man curled into a fetal position.

A crimson long coat wrapped around the skinny, unmoving frame. Tattered, lace trimmed sleeves hung limply from the sleeves, matching the white hair that lay in disarray over the pale face and closed eyes.

“Is he…” Seven asked, suddenly immobilized.

V knelt, searching the inside of Saeran’s wrist. His expression began to fall but then he blinked suddenly. “No, it’s faint, very faint, but he’s alive. I have a pulse!”

Seven threw himself over his brother’s shoulder. “Saeran, wake up Saeran. Please, please, I need you to come home.” Tears flooded over his face, washing away the accumulated filth of the night.

“Who is it?” Vanderwood asked softly, kneeling beside V.

V considered his response before replying, “It’s his twin.”

Vanderwood’s eyes widened in shock. He watched Seven for a moment, processing this new information. Sorrow filled his eyes briefly, replaced by fierceness. He moved forward to take Saeran into his arms.

“No!” Seven shouted. “No! Don’t touch him! You can’t take him!”

“I’m going to take him to the surface so we can figure out how to help him. I brought my med kit. Come on Seven, let me carry him for you. We’ll make sure your brother lives. We just need to get out of here first.”

Years of trusting one another won out over Seven’s fear that the agency would take Saeran away from him. Vanderwood could be believed. Vanderwood would help. He’d come to help, not to stop them from saving Saeran. Seven leaned back and watched as his partner lifted his brother’s limp body gently from the ground.

Saeran didn’t stir as he was carried out into the grey, pre-dawn light. He didn’t moan or make any noise as he was laid out on the grass beside V’s car. His eyelids didn’t flicker as Vanderwood examined him.

V found a bottle of water and a clean cloth which he used to wipe Saeran’s face clear so they could check for injuries.

Vanderwood cut away the strange clothing, checking each bone for fractures, noting bruises and places where swelling had occurred.

Seven was completely undone. Helplessly, he held Saeran’s hand, his thumb tracing a repetitive path over his brother’s knuckles. When he saw the scars and deep gouges he wept wordlessly. He searched the faces of V and Vanderwood, afraid to ask the question that would determine his fate.

“He’s dehydrated, badly, and his body is in terrible condition, but I think he’ll make it,” Vanderwood finally announced. “I take it we can’t drop him off at a hospital?”

“No, we can’t,” V confirmed.

“I thought as much.” He dug into his bag again, producing an IV bag, tubing, and a needle. “First, hydration.” He set up the drip, positioning the bag on top of the car to allow gravity to do its work and draw the fluids into Saeran’s bloodstream. Once it was set, he pulled out a metallic square, unfolding it and laying it over the now naked man.

He rose, lit a cigarette and leaned against V’s car. “Seven,” he called. When there was no response, he barked, with the tone of a drill sergeant, “Agent 707!”

Seven’s head shot up, tear-streaked and filthy, but with alert eyes.

“We need to talk. I don’t want any bullshit, either. I’ve gone and gotten myself into god knows what with you. I want to know why and I want to know what the hell is happening. Since when did you have a brother?” His tone was neither cruel nor angry. If any emotion could have been ascribed, it would have been worry for his partner.

Seven managed a half smile. “Since a few minutes after I was born.”

V chuckled softly, and Vanderwood shot a scathing look at Seven before laughing.

“Well, you’ll be alright then, if you’re back to being a smart ass. Now,” he took a long drag on his cigarette. “Now, fill me in.”

Seven and V recounted the story of how Seven had come to join the agency, V’s failed attempt to protect Saeran, and Rika’s descent into madness. Vanderwood asked only a few questions about Mint Eye and the RFA as the tale unfolded.

In the end, Vanderwood shook his head in disbelief. “So we need to get this kid to someplace safe, then.” He gave V a critical look. “You sure you’re able to keep up your end of the deal again? If I let you take Saeran, you’ll keep him safe?”

“I’ll die trying,” V promised. “I’ve been at fault for so much…”

“Yeah, yeah, all your fault. I got that from the story. Are you done wallowing in your self-pity, or are you going to fuck this up again? I’m not letting you go anywhere with him if you’re not up to handling shit properly.”

V blinked as if he’d been slapped. “I will… handle shit,” he said firmly. “What will you do?”

“Seven, you’re coming back with me. You have an assignment, and you’re going to finish it.”

Seven shot to his feet, ready to fight. “No! I’m not leaving his side! I don’t care what you threaten…”

“Look here, you selfish brat!” Vanderwood shouted. “I’ve put my neck out far enough for you lately! If you don’t finish this job, they’ll be after me, too. I’m not getting killed, got that?” He folded his arms across his chest and took a breath. “I’m not saying you can’t be with your brother. I’m saying you need to think. Finish the job. They always give you time off after one this big. Use the time and go be with him. I’ll never tell a soul you have family. Maybe we can even find a way to get you out, but that won’t work right if you don’t finish your assignment.”

To V, he asked, “Do you have a safe location in mind?”

V nodded. “I have an apartment in Chittagong. I can take him there. I just need to arrange transportation.” He looked down at Saeran’s slack face. “You’re sure he’ll survive?”

“Yeah, he needs rest and food. Looks to me like he got knocked out and then that shelf trapped him. His injuries are all minor.” He nodded at Seven. “Luck must be in their blood. He should have been dead. I think that slab falling put out whatever fire was going and kept out the rest of the mess. The shelf falling on him wasn’t great, but it could have been much worse.”

“Good. When we get back to an area with a stable signal, I’ll get Jumin to arrange a flight for us.”

“No, that won’t do. There are enough people involved already.” Vanderwood pulled a phone from his pocket. “You owe me for this, Seven,” he said as he made a call.

“Hey Geon… Yeah, it’s me… Look, you said if I ever needed anything… Yeah, I need to ask if… Right… I need medical transport out of the country for two… Bangladesh… Chittagong… Today… Oh, you know me, saving lives and protecting the defenseless… Yeah, I can do that… Thanks… See you then.”

He ended the call and frowned down at Saeran again. “Alright, 1:30 this afternoon we have to meet a guy. He’ll have a plane with a nurse ready to go. You’ll go with Saeran, V. When they’re gone, you’re coming home and finishing your assignment, Seven. You do that and I’ll buy your ticket out of here for you. Deal?”

Seven didn’t want to let V take Saeran anywhere without him, but seeing how far Vanderwood was going to help, his only response was to step over his brother’s legs and hug his partner tightly. “Thank you, for this, for everything,” he choked.

Vanderwood shrugged Seven away. “Yeah, whatever. Just don’t you screw this up.”

They packed up the tools V had brought and Seven dug a clean change of clothing from his bag. Between them, they dressed Saeran in more normal looking clothing and Vanderwood changed the IV bag.

Seven lifted his brother into the back seat of V’s car, amazed at how small his frame was. We’ll get you well again, he promised silently. We’ll get you healthy and safe. You’ll never suffer like this again.

That afternoon he watched as the small airplane lifted his brother and V off Korean soil, heading for the safety of V’s secret apartment. His heart twisted mercilessly in his chest and waves of fear washed through his blood, making it feel as if he’d been dropped into an arctic zone with no coat. He shivered, trying not to listen as his thoughts screamed that he’d never seen Saeran again.

When they returned to their home, Seven only took long enough to shower before returning to his computers. He closed out the work he’d been doing instead of his assignment. Revenge was less important now. He needed to get to his brother.

For the first time since being assigned to Agent 707, Vanderwood didn’t have to harass him to get his work done. In fact, he had to forcefully drag the young man away to eat and sleep. The project that was to take a month was finished in a week, astounding Vanderwood. He’d known the kid was good, but he had never seen anyone work like that before.

True to his word, he bought Seven’s ticket as soon as the work was done. What he didn’t tell him was that he wasn’t turning in the assignment early. Their bosses didn’t need to know that Seven could work this fast. They’d expect it every time, and Vanderwood didn’t think there would ever be anything to motivate him so fiercely again. He dropped Seven at the airport and drove away, carrying secrets he wouldn’t reveal under torture. “Good luck, kid,” he murmured as he watched the young man enter the terminal.

(Chittagong)

Seven pressed the buzzer outside the wrought iron gate. His heart was racing, pounding loudly enough to hear its rhythmic thumping in his ears. His brother was on the other side of this door, up one more flight of stairs. Finally, they’d be together again.

“Luciel?” V’s voice crackled from the speaker beside him.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Come on up. Saeran is sleeping so come in quietly.”

The door buzzed and clicked and Seven was through it in a flash. Even with his luggage, he vaulted up the stairs two at a time, turning at the second door on his left, as previously instructed. Before he could knock, the door opened and V greeted him with a warm hug.

“He’s alright?” Seven asked softly.

“Yes, much better. He’s cleared his system of the elixir and his appetite is returning. He still sleeps a lot, but he’s becoming more alert.” V looked away nervously. “Come in, please, and sit with me. I need to talk to you while he’s asleep.”

“What is it?” Seven asked, instantly on edge.

V gestured to the sitting area of the small apartment. “First, sit.”

Seven felt his mouth go dry as he occupied the nearest chair. “What’s wrong?”

“So, I didn’t lie. Physically speaking, Saeran is doing better. He is beginning to do better mentally as well, but you need to know a few things about that.” He drew his fingers through his blue hair slowly, thinking out his next words. “First, Saeran blames you as much as me, for everything. He was told that you abandoned him so many times that he believes it to be true.”

“But I didn’t! I…”

“No, you didn’t, I know. I’ve been working on getting that across to him. He knows you’re coming today, but he’s not excited about it. He has agreed to talk to you, but you need to be prepared for the anger he’s carried against you. I can’t promise he’ll be ready for you to stay.”

Seven frowned deeply. He wasn’t sure he could walk away from Saeran now, even at his request. “Alright,” he said aloud. “What else?”

“There seems to have been some psychological damage,” V began hesitantly. “There’s a very angry, very aggressive alter ego that arises. I have not yet been able to determine what triggers the emergence of this other persona, but if he appears, he may attack you.” He tilted his head back, revealing a set of finger-print shaped bruises along his neck. “He’s attacked me twice since we arrived here.”

Had Seven thought his heart broke so many times that night at Magenta that it couldn’t break anymore? He had been wrong. He knew that extreme, recurring trauma was required to cause a personality to splinter. What hells had Saeran lived through that would leave him like that? How could Rika have mistreated his gentle-hearted brother so? For a moment he wished he’d followed through with his plans to make her pay.

Shoving those thoughts aside, he focused on the fact that he was with his brother, far from Rika or the hellish life she’d condemned Saeran to. They’d get through this together, the way they always should have.

A door opened behind him and Seven heard a soft voice call, “V? I heard voices. What’s…”

Seven rose and turned, looking into a face that mirrored his own in every way except for eyes that were now blue instead of gold. White hair replaced red, and this man wore no glasses, but it was still him, still his brother. Seven’s eyes misted over and he smiled hopefully.

“Hello, Saeran. Sorry I kept you waiting, but I’m here now. How are you?”

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