#shes trapped in that tower for 100+ years and that’s the only person

[swordmaid]

in my hc the noble houses of menzoberranzan operate similarly to the houses in ice and fire where they’re constantly feuding with each other but instead of trying to take the throne/control of the whole realm they’re all fighting for lolth’s favour instead. and because they can’t outright declare war on each other (forgot the reason for why they can’t exactly do that but iirc lolth doesn’t like it?? she loves the drama I guess) and if they rise too quickly lolth casts them down so they have to be cunning about it. not to mention if they stay too long in power and do nothing about it that also displeases the spider queen so the nobility’s game of intrigue is constantly moving and working both for self gain and for self preservation.

shri’iia also plays the game but more of a pawn than a player. she’s not born from any noble house (she’s actually a commoner). the only reason why she has any foot in the game is that she’s taken in by the matriarch of faen tlabbar - one of the houses who fervently worships lolth to the point of zealotry - when they’ve heard word that she—a commoner—have managed to succeed lolth’s trials and gained her blessing. lolth blessings are rare to come and making someone a paladin is even more rare so for a zealot house, that’s a a sign they can’t pass up. so, the house matriarch takes her in and keeps in a tower where she’s supposed to pray and train to lolth day and night. the paladin oath that shri’iia swears is both for lolth and her matriarch; she swears to punish the enemies of her mistresses and forever keep her loyalty to them. her matriarch’s word is an extension to lolth’s will, so to disobey her will be disobeying lolth herself.

and ofc shri’iia being born poor with everything to give and nothing to lose, who thought that there is more to her life than a merchant’s daughter, to be known by the goddess she worship and noticed by one of the most influential houses in the city, swears herself to that oath. she never regretted that choice not even when she’s kept in that tower in complete isolation with her matriarch being the only person she could interact with.

[pinkbubbles06]

Rosekiller Headcanons Pt. 2

Part 1

These may be out of order or be repeating from pt 1 but it’s only cuz I got excited…

Annnyyyyywayyyyy…. HERE WE GO!!

* Barty would be that type of person to have a thought process along the lines of “Evan deserves someone better than [insert name of whoever Evan is currently dating here]. If it were me dating him, I’d treat him much better.”

* And then he would proceed to not think on that any harder.

* Every time Barty gets an angry owl from his dad, he gets so overwhelmed by anger to the point being called by their name makes him want to scream. So all his friends start calling him "idiot" "pretty boy" "raccoon" "dumbass" respectivly until he calms down.

* lets not get it twisted, evan was 100% crazier than barty.

* Before they got together Barty would beg Pandora to make flower crowns so he could give them to Evan. If the flower crowns were from anyone else Evan would burn them on the spot. But anything from Barty he cherished forever.

* The second barty would come bounding up the hill towards him in spring, flower crown in hand, Evan would smile gently as Barty placed it on his head with such pride and joy.

* After they got together, Barty made Panda teach him how to make them so he could do it himself.

* Evan spends half his time saying "shut the fuck up" to Barty because weird stupid shit always falls out of his mouth

* (and he does shut up 'cause that man is whipped)

* Barty always forgoes pockets for the sake of fashion, and so Evan’s pockets are always full of random things of Barty’s that Barty can’t carry in his hands

* Barty is a mommas boy ™️

* Barty was shorter than Evan for the longest time but in 3rd year he had a growth spurt in the summer and was towering over Evan when they saw each other on the train.

* Barty would talk to his mother about everything and everything and he mostly spoke of Evan.

* Barty’s mom had a beautiful garden and Barty asked her if she could teach him to plant roses one summer.

* When Evan came over the next summer Barty was so proud to show him the roses he grew just for him.

* barty whose eyes are locked on Evan’s throat, he wants to leave his marks all over there, bite the soft and perfect looking skin, make it his home

* then he gets hit over the head by dorcas with a pan, and she tells him to be normal

* Barty always found it real hot when Evan gets pissed and bangs someone’s head into a wall until their blood is running down their face. He loved it when Evan was insane.

* (Evan is more crazy than Barty is. Period. You can’t convince me otherwise.)

* Regulus never understood why Evan and Barty were so deranged sometimes. He’s a good child.🥲

* evan's last thought before being hit by moody's bombarda was the way barty smiles between their kisses

* Barty would always absentmindedly play with Evan’s hair at all times

* Whenever they would go out in the winter, Evan you always tell Barty to bring a coat, even though he knows he will end up carrying it for Barty because coats make him feel trapped sometimes.

* He would just be like: "wear a jacket, it's cold out!”

* And Barty would be like: ”uggghhhhh fineeeee!!!”

* Barty always opened the door for Evan or pulled his seat out before he sat down

* Evan: did you eat today?🤨

Barty: yes….👀

Evan:

Barty:

Evan: eat something love.😘

Barty:

Barty: fine.😒

* Barty wants so bad to be Evan’s trophy wife lol

* After Barty proposed, he would daydream of the moment he first sees Evan at the altar. Like. He’s so in love guys.

* barty absolutely LOVES valentine’s day and uses it as an excuse to be as publicly sexual as possible, loudly flirtatious, and is wrapped around evan like a condom

* evan pretends to DESPISE valentine’s day, acting like he forgets about the occasion just to get on Barty’s nerves- dodging his attempts to flirt / touch, and makes a show to be as unromantic as possible. on the inside, he’s squealing and kicking his feet

* Even hated Barty at first they would argue sooooo much!!!

* But then Barty grew on him like he does with every one

* Evan loves making Barty cry during sex. Especially if he is overstimulated.

* Evan loooovvvveeeessss overstimulating Barty during sex. (Barty loves it too btw lol)

* Ives said it before and I will say it again because it need to be a thing. EVAN IS NOT NOT TIMID AND HESITANT!!!! HE IS A PHYCO!!!! HE IS WORSE THAN BARTY GUYS!!! LIKE COME ON!!!!! IK I SAID THAT THE FIST TIMEHE AND BARTY DANCED HE WAS INSECURE BUT THEY WERE REALLY YOUNG AROUND THAT TIME!!! LIKE 14!!! (At least in my head…) AFTER THAT INE TOME HE WAS SOOOOO CONFIDENT!!!

* (sorry for yelling lol)

* Any way….

* if you don’t think regulus had a little sign with the amount of times barty got pushed off the beds for being a little shit ur so wrong

* Barty‘s mother had a huge family estate in the countryside that Barty’s mother and he would go and live in during the summer. it’s also where her garden is. Barty would drag Evan along every time

* Barty’s dad lived in the city because of his job…

* They announced their relationship on April Fools and were both laughing their ass off watching Hogwarts try to figure out if they were actually dating or not.

* Evan is really shitty about being woken up. like if he falls asleep on the couch just leave him there, don’t wake him up to try and get him to go to bed because he will bite your head off. When Barty finds him on the couch in the common room he will settle down and cuddle up next to him and read a book. Or take a nap with him lol. Depends

[sparklingdiva678]

Since there is currently no lore for Liv and Blake, I decided to make up own story!

I believe that Night Swan is the one who trapped them in the Clocktower Trap. The reason being is she wants their power that is hidden deep within their souls all for herself.

This is their story...

TW: Child experimentation, child abuse, su*c*dal thoughts. If this makes you uncomfortable, please scroll. (Don't worry, this has a happy ending!)

Liv and Blake have been friends since childhood, and they were practically inseparable growing up. Some kids have teased and picked on them for this, but they never really cared, as long as they were together.

One night, the two saw a shooting star, and decided to make a wish. To them, it was just an ordinary shooting star, but unknown to them, it was a rare, powerful shooting star called "Spirit Soul" which comes by every 100 years and grants a lucky person the power of light, flight, and other abilities (hence why they turn into a ball of light at the end of BMTL). Unbeknownst to them, the star decided them worthy and blessed them its power.

This caught the attention of Night Swan, who was suddenly curious about the power of Spirit Soul and decided to claim the power for herself. This is when tragedy struck...

One fateful night, Night Swan ordered her minions to raid Liv and Blake's homes, kidnap them, and trap them both in the Clocktower Trap. In order for her to learn more about their power, NS had the minions perform experiments on them week after week, and have them both punished if they dared to defy them.

This horrible cycle of pain and abuse continued for years, leaving them with physical, emotional, and mental scars. As time went by, they eventually gave up on trying to escape the tower. Their hatred of Night Swan grew more and more, and their mental state got to the point where they wanted to end it all.

But somewhere deep in the back of their minds, something told them not to give up hope, and keep wishing for a miracle.

So that's what they did. They kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting for a miracle. Until one day..

It finally happened

And this is when the events of BMTL happen, only the ending is a bit different.

When the tower starts breaking apart , they decide to fall as their only option left. Thinking that this is the end of their story, they tearfully smile to each other and hold each other tight. But right as they're falling, their power finally manifests, and they fly away back home.❤️

So yeah, this is what I came up with! Of course, this is all my headcanon, so please be respectful. If you have questions, please let me know!

[chattercap]

Current Project Roadmap (September 2024)

As we enter the last part of the year, I figure that it would be a good time to do a quick rundown of all the projects that I'm currently working on!

First, regarding my previous announcement about removing animations, after receiving some feedback I've decided to go ahead with removing them, to give me a bit more flexibility in terms of asset creation and enable me to release Android builds. However, for the games that I've already released, I'll be retaining versions with the animations (so - Karamu, Kanau, and MindMindMind), except for The Deepwater Witch - since I only released a demo, and it would be awkward if half of it was animated and half of it wasn't LOL

Project: The Perfect Woman Key words: Psychological horror, literally the only thing that I've made that isn't a romance, this project has been stuck at 99% for the past three weeks

Current progress: The game is basically complete, and I just need to finish debugging some of the saving and loading. I basically ended up using this project as a playground for testing some new systems, so it took longer than expected LOL I'm going to take some time to document all of my changes before I focus on polishing it up. Expecting to release on September 13th.

Project: Karamu Trilogy Key words: Romance, horror, emotionally needy ex-boyfriends, blackmail and possessive behavior is okay if you have shared trauma, yandere love interest (who unfortunately becomes a better person, I apologize)

Project details: One love interest (M), established protagonist (F).

Current progress: The script for the final part is 100% complete, at 65k words (over double the length of Karamu and Kanau combined! Haha!) It has been revised and passed along to the voice actors. I'm also collaborating with some very kind translators to release a French translation of Karamu and Kanau and a Russian translation of Karamu.

Project: The Deepwater Witch Key words: Romance, surreal, post-apocalyptic, twisted fairy tale, grumpy practically homeless man x mute sunshine mermaid, Ramil is my BEST pathetic man and I stand by this

Project details: One love interest (F), established protagonist (M).

Current progress: The script is 100% complete, and I have a few CGs left to do.

Project: Actala: The Hero's Shadow Key words: Romance, fantasy, mystery, childhood friend romance with a good dosage of additional Eldritch horror, basically every tag that I could add for this would be a massive spoiler what do I do

Project details: Five love interests (M), established protagonist (F).

Current progress: The updated demo is about 50% complete, and I've been working slowly on the remaining CGs and sprites.

🌹Code Name: You Just Want to Plant Flowers but Your Yandere Knight Traps You in a Tower, Toxic GF Edition❄️

Key words: Romance, twisted fairy tale, hero-to-villain love interest, friends/lovers-to-enemies arc, GF that can either princess carry you or rip your head off, tragedy, yandere love interest

Project details: One love interest (F), customizable protagonist.

Summary: You're the heir to the royal family, but you've been kidnapped and trapped in a tower by one of the kingdom's strongest knights, who used to be your best friend. Although the kingdom sends knights to rescue you, she cuts them all down without mercy. Why is she doing this? How can you escape? And the question is… do you want to?

Current progress: The project is fully outlined, and writing is in progress. The logo is complete!

🔪Code Name: I'm Trapped on an Island With My Husband, Who Is Probably Going to Divorce Me or Stab Me🦑

Key words: Romance, psychological horror, marriage drama, tragedy, yandere love interest

Project details: One love interest (M), customizable protagonist.

Summary: Following a horrible family tragedy, you've retreated to a remote island with your loving husband. However, things aren't going well for your marriage. After a horrible fight, you wake up to find that your husband is… different. Kinder. More understanding. At first, you're happy, but he's also acting a bit strangely. You start to wonder… is this the man that you married?

Current progress: The project is fully outlined, and writing is in progress. The logo has been commissioned.

🌶️Code Name: I Got Isekaied into a Smutty AU Where My Demon Boyfriend Blackmails Me into Marriage!🕸️

Key words: Romance, smut, historical, revenge, murder spouses, blood makes everything sexier apparently, yandere love interest

Project details: This is a NSFW spinoff of one of my previous projects, Karamu, featuring the same characters and similar themes in a historical Japanese setting, with more sex and more murder! One love interest (M), established protagonist (F).

Summary: Every three days, a body appears in the harbor, surrounded by red flowers and covered in golden threads, its heart torn out of its chest. People say that it's the work of a demon. After her best friend is beaten half to death by her husband, Nelli decides to do anything to save her - even if it means making a deal with that very same demon.

Current progress: The project is fully outlined, and writing is in progress. Once I decide on a title, I'll commission a logo!

Additional note: Since this is a NSFW project, I'm not comfortable with making it freely accessible. As a result, I'll be paywalling at least the NSFW portion (depending on how integral the NSFW is to the plot, I'll either release this as free with NSFW DLC or a free demo + paid full game).

I'll be focusing on finishing up The Perfect Woman during the first half of September! After that I plan to release demoes (hopefully) for both the knight gf game and the husband-traps-you-on-an-island game sometime in December.

Other than that, I would be curious if anyone has projects that they're looking forward to! 🤔 I've basically been working on projects as I like, but if there are any projects that you're interested in particular, let me know and I'll try to prioritize accordingly! 🙇 If not I'll try to divide my time so that I make decent progress on all of them, prioritizing my announced projects.

Thank you to everyone who's following along with my work 😊

Chattercap

[isamajor]

Whump drabbles : Auri

I – Gag

They had found themselves in a Falmer-infested cavern. The darkness, barely lit by the reflection of the glowing mushrooms on the dripping walls of the cavern, was stifling. Lucian squeaked. Instinctively, Auri clapped her hand over his mouth, telling him to be quiet. The Falmer were blind, but their hearing was very keen, even allowing them to fire their bows with surprising accuracy. Everyone here preferred to try to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Auri whispered into Lucien's ear that she wouldn't hesitate to gag him at the next moan that came out of his lips. (100)

•

II – Pet

Sobs were choking in Auri's voice as she told her story.

“Hundred of trees burned, and I heard their screaming within my mind every time I closed my eyes. I fled. I fled and I didn't look back.”

Sitting on a rock, she tenderly caressed the tree stump next to her. Her large amber eyes seemed empty, as if lost in the past. A big tear rolled down her cheek. Without a word, Kaidan petted her head, running his big hand through the Bosmer's red hair, in a clumsy attempt to console her. (95)

•

III – Smoke

The dragon was burning all around them, the dry grass of the plain, the trees... Even this old stone guard tower was burning. The air was filled with smoke and the smell of terror. There was no escaping, except to take down the imposing beast that circled above them. Auri could be heard on the other side of the flames whimpering that her eyes were too irritated to shoot a bow properly. And Inigo's hissing cough. Lucien was trying to repel the flames near him with ice magic. How could they fight, half asphyxiated by the smoke? And even more, to defeat that dragon? (105)

•

IV – Salve

Auri felt bad about living in a part of the world where everything would be made from wood, but salved her conscience by thinking how she would follow and defend the Green Pact until her death. After this accident in Valenwood years ago, she swore to herself she would try everything she could to be worthy of Y'ffre. No salve would appease her heart of the terror of being consigned back to the primordial Ooze after her death, so she can only be as zealous as possible and hope Y'ffre would forgive her for breaking the Pact. (99)

•

V - « Don't lie to me »

The wound on Gore's leg had been treated and his motor skills had improved greatly. However, a few days later, behind a fake playful smile and a quip between clenched teeth, pain hasn't left his gaze.

"Do you know how pale you look, right now? Are you okay ?" asked Auri.

"I'm fine Auri."

"Don't lie to me. You don't look like a person who is fine. You're awfully pale and sweaty. It's your leg, isn't it ?"

The Nord rolled his eyes in respense, not daring to admit his trouble, like a kid caught in the act. (104)

•

VI – Failed Escape

Auri and Remiel huddled together, their breathing ragged with anguish. The oppressive artificial light of the Dwemer ruin surrounded them, their failed escape leaving them trapped within its thick walls. Auri's heart pounded with each echoing noise of the Dwemer spheres that hunted them. Her arrows felt useless against their metal armor. Remiel, usually confident in her knowledge about all Dwemer things, cursed herself for misjudging the automatons' numbers. If they didn't get out of this ancient maze quickly, they would end up buried alive in these subterranean ruins, far from the surface and the rays of the sun. (104)

•

VII – Bio Weapon

Sanguinare Vampiris, they called the illness, a virus like a curse spread by the bloodthirsty creatures of the night. Fear gripped the hearts of the afflicted, for they knew what awaited them. Three days of torment and suffering, the slow progression towards an eternal transformation. Auri trembled as she began to suffer of the first symptoms after a fight against a Vampire. She knew the consequences all too well :the slow transformation into a creature she loathed. Altering one's nature was against Y'ffre's wishes. She had to find a cure, before it was too late. (98)

•

VIII – Alone

She felt alone, so alone. Her heart was heavy and even in the middle of their group, she felt left out. She missed Valenwood and its majestic forests. She missed her family. She missed living in her culture among her own people. But now she was an outcast. She was no longer welcome in her home. She was alone, in these hostile places where everything was made of wood and where the Bosmer couldn't care less about the Green Pact and their god Y'ffre. And even within their group, between two laughs, her gaze was lost and her heart longed to go home. (105)

[2n2n]

what do I mean by 'selfish'?

I want to try to explain what I mean by 'selfishness', at times. I think it's easily misunderstood… but I want to use humbler things to describe it.

In the recent scene in ch101, Amane is obliged to fix the clock. Tsukasa, however, isn't, and is free to roam about the festival and have fun with classmates. The 'good thing' to do would be to push Tsukasa to have fun, and help out. Keeping Tsukasa stuck in this dusty cobwebby dark little tower, only serves Amane. With something like a collectivist mindset, the responsible thing to do, would be to push Tsukasa to leave. That benefits a greater sum of people. It would be selfish to ask Tsukasa to stay, and forego fun and games, all just to have company in this task, all festival long. If even one of them can have fun, that's better than neither, isn't it?

But what does Amane want? Sometimes, in a situation like this, the person you love would only like to know what you'd like to do … not what is the better thing to do.

Similar situations for you or I would be, say, keeping your partner company on a miserable business trip, to ease their suffering, even though they might not be in the best mood, or you might not be able to really do anything more fun than eating hotel breakfast. There is perhaps a lot more you could get done at home, or at work, or for your family, if you don't go on this trip, which will take up all of your time, and provide little. But, it's what would make your partner happy.

For a more mundane example-- this sort of thing happens constantly. Maybe I offer to make my husband lunch. I list out all the options. He could choose what he really wants to eat, which is something complicated … or he could look at the options, and think, "I don't want to cause my wife too much work, I want her to make something simple," and then choose something he would enjoy less, but do me the favor of not whipping out pots and pans. In such a case, I may never know what he actually wanted. This is a trivial sort of example of giving up something you like/want for someone's benefit.

Asking someone to do unpleasant things is, difficult, when you love eachother. When there's the option, sometimes, you don't want to coddle yourself, you don't want to make them endure unnecessary things just because they are stuck with you, who has to do such tasks.

Back to JSHK; it would have been selfish for Hakubo to rescue Sumire. With a collectivist mindset-- baring in mind the stability and good of the entire village, not only himself or only the person he personally likes-- it's seemingly best to let Sumire be sacrificed. The village will be safe for a duration, and only one person will die, as opposed to the unknown number lost without the severance. Even now, choosing to consume Sumire foregoes everything else, and prioritizes his own desire. Considering the good of all, it's seemingly best for Sumire to be permanently entrapped in his boundary, and Hakubo diligently serving as a Mystery. What good is she, but as a battery powering Hakubo? What good is she, as an individual person, at all? She wasn't meant to be useful as an individual when alive, or dead. Sumire was born to serve a purpose for others. No matter what, it's selfish for Sumire to want anything for herself. An ideal sacrifice is humble.

Individuals are always suffering for a 'greater good'. Sakura has likely been serving as an arbiter of the Mysteries for the 100 years she has been trapped. To want to escape-- for her own sake-- at the expense of the world's order-- is monumentally selfish. It would be better for seemingly everyone, if she continued to perform her duty, eternally.

But is it better, or fair, for random people to suffer? To hold the weight of maintaining security for the collective? Do we want people to be selfish, or selfless? Do we want to keep the cogs churning inside the machine? Or do we want to see them choose for themselves, what they want?

Someone like Teru is not afforded the opportunity to be selfish. He has responsibilities, obligations; he has to uphold the Minamoto traditions for the protection of the town, even though he personally only loves his family, and would love to only spend time with them… and of course, his obligations keep him from spending more time with them than he'd like, and keep him from being honest with them.

As it is, with Teru, he has been attempting to avoid being selfish, up until now. He has tried to carry the burdens entirely on his own, for the good of his entire family. He hasn't wanted to bring Kou into his burdens; but of course, Teru wants to be with Kou, he does not want to be alone. It feels self-indulgent to ask Kou to join him in this suffering, which robs him of having a normal life. He's wanted to protect Kou from this legacy, and take all the costs onto himself.

Even Shijima-san had aimed to stop having any personal desires, only doing as others asked her, as a mystery.

It's not that it's not beautiful, for Teru to take on those burdens ... or for Tsukasa to sacrifice himself. It's not like it's not coming from the right place, for Hanako to suffer, for Hakubo to serve, for Sumire to have no vision for herself ... but we see suffering perpetuate endlessly, inevitable for the next Akane, the next mystery, etc.

This is all what I'm talking about when I say 'selfishness' and 'selflessness'. It could be 'selfish' for Amane to ask Tsukasa to miss out on an entire festival just to keep him company, it could be 'selfish' for Hakubo to save Sumire, it could be 'selfish' for Teru to ask Kou to join him, it could be 'selfish' for Sakura to want her own life.

it is 'selfish' for Tsukasa to have come back from the Red House, and initiate all of the events for this entire series.

On small or large scales, there are moments when one is looking at what they want, and what the world or system wants for them.

Hmmm… I recieved an ask that had used the phrase "one-sided selfish love", which has never been what I'm talking about. There is never one-sidedness. That isn't really what I am referring to. Nene does not have to not be loved by Amane, to do something for herself. Typically, I am thinking about society at large. Sumire loves Hakubo; it is not a matter of moving despite no reciprocation.

It isn't even a matter of doing something your beloved hates; Amane surely wanted Tsukasa to come back at age 4, but Tsukasa knew that was a bad idea, in the grand scheme of Amane's life. Tsukasa is not acting despite Amane's rejection; he is acting despite this not being the textbook 'best ending for all involved'. Tsukasa is curious to see what could happen. What DOES Amane want? Is it better to live to adulthood, without your beloved twin, or is it better to die young with him?

How do we consider what is best for the person we love, factoring in that they love us, too? How do we consider what we want of them? When is it being selfish, to do as you please, out of love, when the other person loves you, too? Can loving someone, and being loved by someone, limit their prosperity? Can that love be wrong? Much to think about.

[ribcageteeth]

please tell us more about your tower maiden dnd game

Ooh ok!

So, the tower maiden in question is actually a player character, the lovely and terrible G.100, by @aceofvase.

My campaign was actually inspired by movies like The Monster Squad and Van Helsing, so our main cast of NPCs are all based on Universal monsters. The original plan was to have a Frankenstein monster NPC who would occasionally aid the party, BUT, Miss Vase beat me to the punch.

G.100 is soul-stitched, a homebrew race similar to a flesh golem, but overall more capable and intelligent. Created by blending necromancy with engineering, powered by electricity, and requiring the individual parts of about ten different people, in this story the soul-stitched were brought about by an elven man called Isla Gryffith, primarily through his own efforts at achieving some form of immortality, but eventually with the intention of creating the perfect lover. G.100 is, somewhat obviously, his hundredth attempt, and one of only about three or four to be considered a success.

Due to the taboo nature of his work, (and, you know, all the murder involved) Isla primarily lived and operated out of a fortified lighthouse, in an area known for dangerous bandit raids, where people often disappear anyway. He and G.100 lived there in isolation for about a year, with her being kept in the dark over how exactly she was created. Upon discovering the horrible truth (again, cannot stress the amount of murder involved in this process), G.100 threw Isla from the top of the lighthouse tower, in a fit of rage. However, as previously mentioned, the building had been heavily fortified, including several locks on the front door, which could only be opened by key. There was only one, and Isla had it on his person when he was killed.

As such, G.100 spent the next 15 years of her life stuck inside the lighthouse. Functionally immortal, and without the need to eat or sleep, she spent her time reading books, studying magic, and overall trying not to think too hard about the nature of her existence, or her creator, whom she was still regretfully in love with. At a point it became a conscious choice to stay there; she could have broken the door down, or escaped out a window, or even jumped from the tower and aimed for the ocean, but spiritually, she would always be trapped in that tower anyway. Her refusal to move on went so far that she has still never given herself a proper name, preferring not to be referred to at all.

Eventually, she ran out of electrical charge, which resulted in her essentially falling asleep... for a little over a hundred years. Long enough for the lighthouse to collapse around her. Now exposed to the open air, she was promptly struck by lightning and reawakened, only to realize that there was now quite literally nothing left to keep her there. When she meets up with the rest of the party at the campaign's start, she's technically only been outside for about a year.

As the game has progressed, she's somehow managed to both open up, and close herself off further. Initially, she attempted to put on an upbeat persona, going so far as to pretend to be a bard for the first part of the game, but since growing a bit more comfortable with her surroundings, her more grumpy nature has begun to show through, and her abilities as a warlock have grown powerful enough that she can't really hide them anymore. She's also begun romancing one of the series antagonists, which has drawn her a bit further out of her shell.

So yeah, it's a real specific kind of tower, and technically while she was in it she presented as masc, since canonically she is trans, but all that really means is she didn't start leaning into the Tower Maiden aesthetic until fairly recently. In fact, I think her most recent redesign really reflects that particular vibe:

So yeah! That's just one of the wonderful players I've been getting to DM for, I think she's so cool, I've done literally so much fanart of her (as you can see), and I'm so excited to see her character arc continue to progress! If you want to know more about her, I suggest taking a look through her character tag over on @aceofvase's blog, or asking her for further detail <3

[lehohoho]

December 13th, 2022 - old journal in the closet

I was rummaging through my closet for a scarf that I hadn't worn in a year. On the bottom of the bag, I found my old journal, dated from October 2019 to April 2021.

I leave all my journals at my parents home because I had moved to a different place seemingly every year. And each time I moved, I discarded much of my possessions.

The journal starts with me living in Newark. It's filled with distrust of myself. From my older eyes now I see it was just voices echoing in my head.

- October 31st, 2019 - In Neapolitan series Lenu and Lila don't see each other for years at a time. Each growing into their own persons independently. Can i say their friendship lacks depth? What is the balance between myself and how much i give of myself despite not enjoying doing so. I am not at ease.

...

In my conversations with my mother, she is specific and anecdotal. i am general and philosophical. When i ask her about the poverty of her hometown she talks of the people she knew who couldn't get out and the women who have. I ask her about the difference b/w the two. She says hardwork, a passable husband, and luck. I reply about the systematic trappings of poverty, the flow of money and capital funneled through banking systems and government owned enterprises. How common people seemed to live so terribly even in the wealthiest nation in the world. She ignores me. She lives amongst the lives of people, and i seem to only enjoy the idea of people.

...

His parents hoped he wouldn't be a criminal, serial killer, or pedophile. My parents didn't even entertain those possibilities. Letting me know that it is in me to finalize our pending family dream. To start a large corporation, to be a ceo. That to stay in corporate salary is to settle and a waste of a life and our ambitions.

- November 9th, 2019 - Harlem by Langston Hughes

what happens to a dream deferred does it dry up like a raisin in the sun or fester like a sore and then run

does it stink like rotten meat or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet?

maybe it just sags like a heavy load

or does it explode?

- November 12th, 2022 - `Latency read memory (1mb)

L1 cache = 0.5 ns L2 cache = 7 ns (14x L1 latency) main memory = 100 ns (20x L2, 200x L1) read 1mb from SSD (~1GB/sec) = 10 ms (4x memory)`

- November 22, 2019 - `I studied mechanical engineering so at-least 3 of my classes any given semester were physics or math related. Math had the most straightforward assignments, forthright in its formulaic repetition. Physics problems were archaic, contrived scenarios with conditions intended to simplify calculations. The first year I started, i immediately looked for answer keys.

- Dec 4th, 2019 - 1180 Raymond, a towering apartment complex. The tallest residential building in Newark, New Jersey. On its 30th floor, lights shine upwards illuminating the top four floors. A lasting symbol of Newark's well-to-do families. The building is imposing, unchanging, and telling. It says, "I will never change. Residency here is stability. It's comfort. It's lasting.

It reminds me of beauty and the beast. That era of architecture, inaccessible grandness. It belies the warmth of my apartment inside. Inside it feels like home: an isolated, clean, and thoughtful existence. On the outside a cold, unmoving and respectable exterior. The tower of 1180 Raymond embodies where my life is headed to. "

- December 11th, 2019: short stories - I had this idea for a short story. It's about if property ownership was democratically allotted, and every 10 years, land would go up for election at local municipality. We would elect landlords instead of the market. ... I like to start writing short stories. Small tweaks to society and economic structures that change how we live. I remember the Ted Chiang short story about lookism. If we were able to prohibit surgically the release of chemicals that respond to physical beauty. If we didn't' discriminate based on uncontrollable traits of physical beauty.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Athena

So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...

I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena

Lucifer

The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...

Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...

Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here. 

Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…

Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield… 

Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!

It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!

Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...

He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.

Mammon

To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.

They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.

They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over. 

Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!

They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)

So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes... 

Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.

MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...

Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?

MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?

Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*

MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂

Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…

MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.

Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?

... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷‍♀️

Leviathan

Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.

What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!

It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...

Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.

The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up… 

However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?

Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory. 

MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*

Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?

MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*

Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???

MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*

Satan

Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.

He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...

He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.

He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...

At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!

It's confounding! It's infuriating!! 

...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!

Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.

Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷‍♀️

The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…

Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…

Asmodeus 

They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?

Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...

First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…

Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.

Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.

And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.

Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!

MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?

Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.

Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…

MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.

Asmo: You’re going already??

MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*

Beelzebub 

Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.

He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷‍♀️

No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!

Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night… 

And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…

It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢

After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…

The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓

Belphegor 

In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.

… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…

How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???

Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.

It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑 

They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...

Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully… 

And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...

Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...

He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!

Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…

Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

[theotherhufflepuff]

Simon Snow Trilogy Tarot Cards...

Ok so, a little while ago I saw this frankly stunning artwork by @vkelleyart and I started thinking about the Major Arcana archetypes and how characters from my favourite book series could fit into them.

So I made this list. It took a lot of thought and I’m still not 100% sure on some of them but I have explained my thought process for each card.

I don’t know how much crossover there is in the Venn diagram of “Simon Snow fans” and “tarot readers” but I’d love to hear your opinions and/or alternative suggestions (be respectful though, obviously). I’ve left “visual prompts” for most of the cards explaining what they looked like in my imagination and if anyone wants to draw any of these (or their own alternative version!) please tag me; it would make my day! I can’t draw for toffee so I am 1000% never gonna try to illustrate any of them myself.

List under the cut because it is loooong.

Spoilers ahead for the whole series!

0 The Fool - Shepard - Shepard just follows magickal creatures around and says “yes” to everything... he is the pure embodiment of the Fool archetype to me; care-free, innocent... prepared for everything and yet totally clueless. Visual prompt: Shepard about to (attempt to) step into the fog as he follows a fairy into the forest.

1 The Magician - Penelope - “Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don’t mind saying” Baz, at least once in each book. Penny never worries about not having the power or words available to do whatever she wants; she is comfortable in her power and it is always there, ready to be wielded however she sees fit. Visual prompt: Penny wearing her Stevie Nicks cape, standing by a chalkboard in the classic “Magician” pose, ring clearly held aloft.

2 The High Priestess - Dr Mitali Bunce - Dr Bunce is possibly a more formidable magician than her daughter. Highly intelligent, straightforward and, let’s be honest, judgemental. But she does have all the answers. Visual prompt: Dr Bunce carrying around her laptop, phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

3 The Empress - Lucy Salisbury - Lucy exudes the nurturing, Earth Mother vibes that are central to the Empress archetype. She saw the best in everyone and all she wanted was to love Davy and live with him in their cottage with her chickens and their child. Visual prompt: Lucy, barefoot and pregnant, feeding the chickens outside of their cottage.

4 The Emperor - Lamb - This is one of the ones I’m not totally sure about. I went through a few different ideas but ultimately settled on Lamb as the “Vampire King of Las Vegas”. He is an imposing figure, ruling his city with an iron fist; if you are in his favour, Vegas is your playground, but cross him and you will suffer the consequences. Visual prompt: Lamb sits on an antique chair in his opulent suite at the Katherine, the lights of night time Vegas visible through the window behind him.

5 The Hierophant - The Mage - Again, this one took some thought and I’m sure some people will disagree with this interpretation... I’m not completely sold on it myself. The Mage was all about reforming the old traditions of the World of Mages and he amassed a following by doing so. But he turned out to be somewhat of a false prophet; abusing his power to oppress those he deemed “the enemy”. Visual prompt: The Mage in his Robin Hood costume, sitting at his desk at the top of the Weeping Tower, surrounded by his piles of banned books.

6 The Lovers - Simon and Baz - Obviously. As stated at the top of this post, I love @vkelleyart’s version of this card, but there are a lot of scenes across the series that could be used to illustrate this archetype. I personally always love to see the original “and then he kisses me” scene.

7 The Chariot - Fiona Pitch - I struggled with this one a bit and I don’t really think that this is the ideal version. But the image of Fiona, rolling up to Blackfriars bridge in her vintage sports car to rescue Baz from the Numpties really stuck with me so that’s what I went with, for lack of a better idea.

8 Strength - Ebb - Ebb is often dismissed and underestimated by other magicians but she is wicked powerful. But more than that, the Strength card is about inner strength, self control and the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to rest. Ebb is highly intuitive about the people - and goats - around her and is always careful not to talk about her twin brother, only conceding that she knows of his presence once a year and never giving in to the temptation to talk directly to him. Ebb saw the war coming and knew that she could probably end it all by herself with the power she had; but she also knew that she didn’t want that and she had the strength to say no, to eschew the expectations the rest of the World of Mages placed upon her and live quietly, instead. Visual prompt: Ebb in the hills behind the school with the goats, she wears a flower crown that the Dryad made her.

9 The Hermit - Agatha - the Hermit eschews the outside world in order to take an inner journey of self discovery, knowing that this is the only way to find real answers and achieve real growth. Agatha, jaded by the World of Mages, took herself off to California, leaving her wand at home. She didn’t know what she wanted but she knew it wasn’t magic. Visual prompt: Agatha sits on the beach at twilight by a small campfire, Lucy the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by her side.

10 The Wheel of Fortune - The Crucible - The Crucible’s decisions, like the Wheel’s, are unpredictable and inevitable. Once it’s happened, you’re stuck with the consequences - sometimes bad (being stuck with a toff vampire who hates you) and sometimes good (getting the best room in Mummers house).

11 Justice - Natasha Grimm-Pitch - Natasha needed justice to find peace; her whole story is about justice. She was swift to act when the vampires attacked Watford, dispatching them without hesitation. When she came through the veil to find Baz and ask him to bring her murderer to justice, she knew that would also provide some closure for him, too, both for her death, and for his. Visual prompt: Natasha Grimm-Pitch appearing from beyond the veil, looking for Baz and finding Simon.

12 The Hanged One - Nicodemus - The Hanged One is about feeling stuck, but also about finding peace where you are when there’s nothing you can do about it. Nicodemus chose to cross over for eternal life, but he was stricken from the book; his (considerable) magic effectively taken from him and his fangs removed. He was stuck in between - not a full vampire, not a magician; he exists on the fringes of both communities. He got himself there and then he had to figure out how to get by, carve out a place for himself in order to survive. Visual prompt: Nicodemus sits in the tree in the garden of his mother’s house in South London, waiting for Ebb to come and sit on the empty bench beneath him.

13 Death - [scene on the Great Lawn] - Ok, so.. this might need some explaining. My immediate thought for this card was that it should be the Humdrum but Death is all about clearing out the old junk in your life that doesn’t serve you in order to make space for the new. And the Humdrum isn’t making space for anything. So I was thinking about times that has happened in the story and I thought about how the death of the Mage made room for real progress and an end to the war with the old families. Visual prompt: Penny and Baz (literally) run into a fleeing Agatha on the Great Lawn; the Weeping Tower looms in the background, the Mage and Simon visible through the blown-out stained glass windows.

14 Temperance - Simon and the Humdrum - Temperance is, as you might expect, about balance and harmony. Simon used so much magic at once that he couldn’t control it and it tore holes in the magickal atmosphere. Simon had to fill the Simon-shaped hole to restore equalibrium and stop the magickal firmament from collapsing altogether. Visual prompt: Simon kneeling in the Weeping Tower, pouring his magic into the Humdrum as he fades away.

15 The Devil - Smith Smith-Richards - The Devil is about feeling trapped by temptations in your life, often because we’re afraid of what we would do with the freedom we’d have if we let them go. Which got me thinking about Smith-Richards (that name never gets any less ridiculous) and all the magicians who were taken in by the temptation of “fixing” their magic. But it was a false promise and those magicians who narrowly escaped taking Smith-Richards’ spell were all freed from the idea of their magic being “broken” in the first place. Visual prompt: Smith-Richards (looking like the guy who would be cast to play Simon in the Netflix series) standing on a stage in the packed-out White Chapel, rapt audience hanging on his every word.

16 The Tower - The Humdrum - Originally I wanted to use the Weeping Tower for this card because the imagery is on point but the meaning doesn’t match. The Tower is about absolute destruction, the crumbling of something you thought core to your being. The Humdrum steals magic and renders magicians homeless because of it. The Tower is about having to start again from the ground up - just as the Grimms did when all the magic was drained from Hampshire. Visual prompt: The Humdrum, wearing Simon’s face, stands in the grounds of Pitch Manor, laughing. (I have always thought of the holes looking like a burn in a piece of paper - sort of glowing and smouldering at the edges as it eats away the atmosphere. I know the holes can’t actually be seen - the Normals would freak out - but that is imagery I would use here)

17 The Star - Lady Ruth’s candles - The Star is about hope and healing after the devastation of the Tower. Lady Ruth’s candles were a symbol of hope that kept her going when she thought she had lost her children. They provided comfort and, at the end when it became clear the Lucy was gone, the healing of knowing that her child had finally found his way home to his family. Visual prompt: Lady Ruth’s candles in front of a window, a bright star can be seen through the window.

18 The Moon - Agatha and Simon - So, the Moon is all about examining blurred lines between illusion and reality - nothing looks totally clear in the moonlight. It reminded me of how Simon never really seemed to have a clear view of his feelings for Agatha and what their relationship was. When he properly examined his feelings, he found that he didn’t love Agatha and was going through the motions because he thought it was what other people expected of him. Agatha was doing the same. It also brought to mind Simon, going out of his mind worrying about Baz when he was missing - as well as basically every other thought Simon ever has about Baz before Christmas Eve 2015 - and somehow mistaking it for hating him?? Simon is not stupid but sometimes he’s real dumb. Visual prompt: Agatha and Simon meet on the ramparts, both looking for Baz, and break up.

19 The Sun - Simon - This card is all about innocence, optimism and joy. Nothing about this series personifies this more than Simon flying above Shepard’s truck in America, feeling free and hopeful about the future for the first time in over a year. Visual prompt: Shepard’s truck drives through the vast empty desert, the sun beating down. Simon flies above the truck, joy on his face.

20 Judgement - Niamh and Agatha - Ok, this one was hard to figure out and this is maybe not the right solution, but I was very stuck. Judgement is about self improvement through self reflection. As a small twist on that theme; Niamh and Agatha challenge each other’s view of themselves and their interactions with the world around them. Visual prompt: Agatha and Niamh, sweating to death in Niamh’s “shitty Ford Fiesta” (I’m very salty about that line; my Ford Fiesta is lovely and it has aircon). Niamh is frowning, obviously.

21 The World - Simon, Baz, Penny and Shepard - The World is about completeness, the ending of a story, fulfilment and belonging. At the end of AWTWB, Simon has finally found his biological family, he is starting to accept that his boyfriend and his found family love him for who he is, magic or no, and he can finally start to imagine a future for himself. Baz has learned new information about his vampirism, Penny has found new confidence and Shepard is finally fully accepted into the group. Visual prompt: Baz, Penny and Shepard sit on Simon’s sofa (possibly still pink from Baz’s spell, possibly he spelled it navy blue again) Simon sits on the floor. They’re all eating leftover sandwiches and cake from Lady Ruth’s.

[zanytothemax6]

Trapped in the Watertower Headcannons

Thanks for 100 followers! Haven’t done one of these in a while so I firgured to celebrate I’d go back to my roots.

Dot was the first one to be caught while yakko and wakko ran. Kinda guilty for leaving dot and VERY mad Yakko went straight to them- I’m very surprised he didn’t kill anyone. He was then thrown in the tower.

The person looking for wakko actually felt bad for him so she just bribed him with food and said “I’ll be back in five minutes!” For the first two months or so he really believed that she was coming back. He sat at the door thinking she was just running a little late before Yakko finally had to break it to him.

If you ask Wakko and Dot they’d say that Yakko LOVED staying in the watertower for all those years and had a lot of fun. If you ask Yakko he’d say that knowing he and his sibs were seen as worth nothing more then being forgotten was horrible and a punishment worse then death.

Yakko had a panic attack when no one found him funny in fear of the reboot being shut down and then being forgotten again. He legitimately thought that his bad joke would ruin his sibs lives

When they got out of the tower for some reason Wakko and Dot just acted like they where in there for a day. While Yakko was very excited they literally did not care. Dot did this as a coping mechanism while Wakko did this becouse to many times he had a way to realistic dream where they were freed only to be disappointed in the morning.

Yakko has a hard time telling crying and laughter apart after not hearing genuine joy for a while. He always has to take a pause and listen, especially if wakko and dot are at a distance. Now a days there ok but he still has a mini panic everytime he’s unsure

Wakko really thought he did somthing wrong and deserved this.

Read my story on Wattpad for all these *lovley* things to be elaborated on. It’s called 21,900

[bluejayblueskies]

hello! i hope it's okay to ask, i was wondering if you have any good merfolk/selkie tma au fic recs? i've been looking for them on ao3 but apparently i'm not very good at filtering because i can't really find anything aside from the 3 or 4 i've read already. feel free to ignore this if you don't have any or just don't feel like answering! thank you either way<3 (also i just wanted to say i love your tma fantasy week fics, i read most of them at 3am and they made me so ridiculously happy)

 thank you so much! 💛💛💛 i’d be happy to give some recommendations!

i’m not sure what you’ve already read, so i’ll just include everything!

(list begins below the cut)

The Sea Calls Me Home | jonmartin, rated T | Ao3: mothjons | tumblr: @mothjons

When Martin Blackwood takes a job working at Peter Lukas's estate, in the highlands of Scotland, he meets an odd man down by the shore, who looks at him like no one ever has. This man proves to be another secret Martin Blackwood must keep, for more reasons than one.

To be so sure of a love the world denies is a heavy burden to bear. But bearing it was, and will always be, a choice. And it's one that Martin has chosen.

Mer!Jon, Historical AU! One of my favorite TMA fics. Heavy on the angst but has a happy ending, and the writing is beautiful!

What Belongs to the Sea | jonelias, lonely eyes, jonmartin, rated M | Ao3: TwoDrunkenCelestials, WhyNotFly | tumblr: @twodrunkencelestials, @apatheticbutterflies

“My grandmother taught me about selkies,” said the tattooed man.  “Said it’s good luck for them to grace your ship.  To treat ‘em right, and they’ll guide you safe.”

It had seemed like a reasonable thing to believe.

Selkie!Jon, angst with happy ending. Has darker themes, so be sure to heed content warnings! The endgame ship is jonmartin.

Breathe in the Salt | jonmartin, rated T | Ao3: SqueeneyTodd

Martin Blackwood works in a lighthouse that echoes too much against a sea he doesn't care for.

The lighthouse isn't meant to have people in it.

Selkie AU focsed around mystery! Martin’s mother is a selkie and he works at a lighthouse that has some very strange happenings. Jon, Tim, and Sasha come to investigate.

as the clouds roll by | jongeorgie, jonmartin, rated T | Ao3: PitViperOfDoom | tumblr: @pitviperofdoom

If Jon had a penny for every time someone stole his coat and told him it was for his own good, he would have two pennies. It wasn't a lot, but it still happened twice.

Selkie!Jon, angst and hurt/comfort. Featuring terrible person Jurgen Leitner and Kitsune!Georgie. This is the prequel to and i won’t let you choke which is also excellent!

kith, kin and tread softly | jonmartin, timsasha, rated G | Ao3: bibliocratic | tumblr: @bibliocratic

Jon is 100%, bonafide human being before Beholding gets its hands on him.

This is not entirely true for the other members of his team.

and

Their existence narrows into endurance, survival. Knowing how hard every day is going to be and surviving it anyway, hand in unlovable hand.

Or: Despite everything, the OG Archive crew live through season 4.

Fantasy AU where Tim is a phoenix, Sasha is a mermaid, and Martin is a selkie. Featuring hurt/comfort, found family, and averted apocalypse

A Box of Sea-Scented Memories | jonmartin, rated G | Ao3: ArtificialDaydreams | tumblr: @artificialdaydreamer

When Martin was a child he moved to a small town by the coast and his best friend just also happened to be a seal who loved tuna fish sandwiches, headpats, and bringing him gifts. The shoebox of treasures was practically all he took with him when he left a year later.

Jonathan Sims' childhood friend has just returned after almost twenty years spent apart. Sadly Martin doesn't recognize him, and it's not like Jon can tell him about being a selkie. It's a good thing Martin has a lot of experience talking with seals, and Jon's an excellent listener.

Selkie!Jon, childhood friends AU. Very very cute, and seeing this plot bunny come to fruition has been lovely!

It Will Set You Free | jonmartin, rated G | Ao3: cinnamoniic | tumblr: @cinnamoniic

He’s heard the stories. He knows his mother wouldn’t take another step on land if she could help it, not anymore. It took a long time for him to feel comfortable walking alone on the beach without anticipating torches and pitchforks at his first footfall, skin-thieves and scoundrels looking to steal him away.

Martin’s supposed to avoid humans, but he’s never been great at resisting temptation. In the aftermath of a dreadful storm, he finds himself and his sealskin coat trapped in the home of his mysterious human crush, Jon.

Selkie!Martin, hurt/comfort. My favorite part of this fic is Martin not really understanding human things!

and, just to include some of mine:

to take the road less traveled by | polyarchives, rated G

Once upon a time, in a land divided by water and mountains and the hands of men into fourteen kingdoms, there was a prince. His name was Prince Timothy of the House of Stoker, ruling over the land of the fae, and though he was neither fae nor human, he would do as a prince should, even if his heart lay beyond, in the kingdom of ever-watching eyes.  So when his father commanded him to venture beyond the land of the fae and into the spiraling forests of the Twisting Deceit, wherein lay a tower so high it was thought to touch the stars, and rescue a trapped princess from that tower, Prince Timothy donned the lightest of leather armors, plucked his bow from the armory, and left his kingdom behind in the glow of the rising sun.

Of Prince Timothy, his lovers, and a princess trapped in a tower.

Fantasy AU with Selkie!Martin (and others). A fairytale-style fic with multiple character perspectives coming together over the span of the fic.

delphinus | jonpeter, rated T

Three and a half weeks ago, Peter had packed enough supplies for four months, set sail from port, and had breathed in the salt of the sea with a relief that was as palpable upon his tongue as the taste of brine. He would cast a net over the side of his ship and inspect its contents for anything that might spark his interest (or, on occasion, make a sum of money). More often, though, he simply released the mass of wriggling fish back into the sea and settled for watching the sun dip below the horizon, with only the gentle rocking of the boat to keep him company.

Two and a half weeks ago, Peter had pulled the net over the side of his fishing boat, straining at the weight of it, and found a pair of sharp brown eyes staring back at him.

Mer!Jon, no fear entities AU. In which Peter is not as terrible as he is in canon and there is an approximation of fluff.

[the-bau-quinjet]

the evolution of breaking up

Peter x Stark!reader

Summary: Snippets of you moving on from a bad breakup, frequently turning to your best friend, Peter.

Warnings: it's sad Taylor Swift hours, some choice words,

Word Count: 3252

a/n: inspired by a playlist called the evolution of breaking up that only has TS songs on it lol. Bold is direct or paraphrased lyrics

Masterlist

Peter is 90% sure he fell in love with you the day he met you.

He's 100% sure he fell in love with you within a week of knowing you.

Hell, he's so sure about it, he would tell you if not for one glaringly obvious problem: Jared.

Your boyfriend.

Your started dating Jared a few weeks before you met Peter. That is to say, a few weeks before Tony recruited Peter to join the Avengers.

Peter didn't have any problems with Jared, and he would never wish for you to get your heart broken, but he was definitely jealous.

It wasn't hard for him to love you. The two of you became fast friends. You always worked in the lab together, improving upon tech Tony already had or developing all new creations.

You also patrolled together. Peter had always enjoyed patrolling, but now that you went with him, time seemed to fly.

It was currently about 10:30 on a Friday about two and a half years after you and Peter met. You and Peter were supposed to patrol, but Tony said to take the night off for once.

You took the impromptu free time as the perfect opportunity to surprise Jared.

You left the tower around 5:30 and Peter hasn't heard from you since. Not that he expected to since you were going on a date. He was bored though.

Tony refused to let him tinker around in the lab, saying he needed a better work/life balance. He would've found the statement funny if it didn't feel so true.

He tried calling Ned, but he was out with Betty. MJ was busy with Brad, the two going to some horror movie marathon.

The only other person he really hung out with was you, and you were also on a date.

He wondered the various floors of the tower, looking for anything to do that would take his mind of you.

Eventually, he just set up camp in the shared living area, putting Star Wars on the massive TV and eating more popcorn than should be legal.

He was nearly asleep during Episode V when the ding of the elevator jolted him awake. Someone ran through the halls, quickly opening and closing the door to their room.

He sat up, intrigued by the behavior. As he walked down the hallway, he listened for any indication of someone else being there. Obviously whoever it was didn't want to talk, but that didn't mean he wasn't concerned.

He stopped outside your door, bringing his hand up to knock when he heard music softly playing through the door.

You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?

He froze with his fist raised, uneasy with the why you would put on such a sad song. His hand fell back to his side when he heard you sing along to the chorus.

"Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this."

The sound of you crying grew louder than the music, urging Peter to knock. He just wanted to make sure you knew he was there for you.

Hyping himself up, he knocked lightly. A few seconds later the music stopped. He listened as you shuffled toward the door, slowly pulling it open.

His heart broke at the sight of your puffy cheeks, red and tear stained.

"Hey Pete." You managed a small smile, happy to see your friend despite the less than stellar evening you had.

"Hey, I... you probably don't want to talk about it right now, but I'm here for when you do." He matched your small smile, trying not to make you feel any worse.

Apparently, he said the right thing because you pulled him into a bone crushing hug, burying your head in his chest as you cried.

He spent the next half hour rubbing your back as you cried, having moved to sit on the bed rather than stand in the doorway.

When your tears ended, he risked talking to you again.

"Did you want to talk about it tonight?" Peter was clearly unsure of himself in this situation.

You shook your head, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

"No, I... He just..." Tears pooled again, but you blinked them away. "He said forever and always, but I guess he didn't mean it."

Peter held you as you cried again, eventually falling asleep. He tucked you into your bed, placing a water bottle on your nightstand and shutting off the lights as he left.

-

The next few days, you spent mostly holed up in your room. You had a playlist of sad Taylor Swift songs on repeat, letting yourself wallow.

Peter was worried. Tony was worried. Nat, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Pepper, and Vision were worried.

"What'd she say when you talked to her?" The group questioned, all wanting nothing more than to cheer you up.

Peter sighed, wishing he had more information. "She just cried for like, 2 hours. Somewhere in the middle I asked if she wanted to talk, she said something about him not really meaning forever, and then she cried again."

They were all contemplating what to do when you walked in the room. Every pair of eyes were on you in an instant.

You sighed heavily, kind of glad you could address everyone at once. They've been like a family to you since you were born, so it only makes sense they would all be worried.

"Jared and I broke up." You felt like it was 2 and a half years wasted. You could feel the tightness in your throat threatening more tears, but you refused to cry over this boy any longer. "I'll be okay, I just... I remember it all too well right now."

You turned to your dad, eyes welling up again. "I'm sorry I ignored when you said to run as fast as I can from all the boys I ever met." You chuckled, trying to relieve the tension.

Tony pulled you into a tight hug. "You'll be okay again, princess." You nodded, leaning into the hug. Everyone ended up piling on, offering you words of comfort through the group hug.

-

A couple weeks later, and you honestly felt better. Not all the way, but enough to want to go out with friends again. You went roller skating with Peter, MJ, and Ned.

It was the next logical step, going out with friends. It made sense. It was working.

Until you saw him. Jared was there with some other girl, skating without a care in the world. Of course, he saw you. He had the audacity to smile and wave, as if he didn't just break your heart.

When he walked up to you, you knew you had enough.

"Don't you smile at me and ask me how I've been. Don't you say you've missed me if you don't want me again." You spit the words at him, trying to hide how much it hurt. You turned away from him, nearly running from the rink before you even put the skates on.

You friends followed you out, profusely denying the need for your abundant apologies.

Ned and MJ hugged you before leaving, figuring less people would be better for you. Peter took you back to the tower, trying to help soothe the lingering ache.

"I just don't understand." You whispered from the passenger side of the car. "Why would he want to break a perfectly good heart?"

Peter struggled to come up with an answer, knowing nothing he said would really fix it.

"You'll find someone else. Someone who won't break your heart." He settled on a vague nod toward the future, knowing anything else could lead to him potentially ruining your friendship.

Unbeknownst to Peter, his words broke your heart just a little more. You always had a soft spot for Peter, and the few weeks you've been broken up from Jared have made you see him in a new light.

Of course, you wouldn't make a move though. Not yet. You didn't want him to think he was just a rebound. He's your best friend. It's too important to mess up with feelings.

-

You woke up the next morning with a slew of messages from Jared.

This is me swallowing my pride... telling you I'm sorry for that night.

I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.

I'm wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.

You deleted them immediately, not wanting to fall back into his trap. Ultimately though, you decided to respond. You wanted to lay it all out that he missed his chance. You were over him, even if it still hurt.

I've lived, and I've learned. Had you, got burned. I'm over it, Jared. Leave me alone.

Then you deleted his contact and blocked the number. He couldn't just say those hurtful things to you and then pretend like it was a mistake. He meant every word he said that night, even if he doesn't believe it now.

-

Another week went by without incident. You were all smiles all the time, really moving on from him and the pain he put you through.

Then you got a letter. It looked like a card, so you figured it was an early Valentine's card.

Opening it up proved it to be just that.

The inside read:

"I don't wanna miss you like this. I don't wanna need you this way. Come back. Be here."

Signed from Jared with hearts.

Of course you chose to open the card as soon as you got it, with everyone watching.

Your expression fell as the words sank in, knowing he was still trying did weird things to your heart. It made you question everything. Did he really care about you? Was he just bored?

You stared at the card for what felt like an eternity before ripping it up and rolling your eyes.

Of course he doesn't care. Nobody who says to your face that they never loved you cares.

"What was that?" Wanda asked, curious about the mixture of emotions present on your face.

"A load of utter horse shit." You huffed a laugh as you threw away the pieces.

"Language!" Tony called, always taking the opportunity to tease Steve.

"Well it was!" You defended, eager to move on from the conversation. They all stared at you expectantly, clearly waiting for an explanation. "It was from Jared." You were glad Peter was sitting next to you. Just the mention of his name had him rubbing your back, trying to make it easier for you.

"You know, now that I'm sitting here thinking it through. I've never been anywhere cold as him."

You felt another group hug coming on, so you quickly excused yourself to shower, reassuring everyone that you were fine.

-

You were laying on the floor, feet up against the wall, just staring at the ceiling when Bucky and Peter walked into the gym to train with you.

"Hey, Y/N." Bucky called, a questioning look in his eyes.

"What's going on in your head?" Peter added, spelling out the question for you.

"I knew he was trouble when I met him." You answered him honestly. "And yet, I still said yes when he asked me out." You shook your head, still staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, hindsight is 20/20. Don't beat yourself up about it." Bucky chimed in, knowing how it feels to blame yourself for things that weren't your fault.

"Are you offering then?" You stood up, accepting Peter's hand to aid you. You brushed any lingering dirt from your clothes, laughing at Bucky's confused expression. "For me to beat you up instead?"

The three of you had a good laugh before you got to work training.

-

Three months post breakup and you're feeling great. At least, you're feeling great most of the time.

"Hey Y/N! What are you doing tonight?" Peter questioned as he walked up beside you in the lab, pulling out the tools he'll need.

"I don't know, nothing specific I guess." You try to remember any plans you had, but nothing comes to mind.

"Perfect. MJ, Ned, and I are going to go roller skating again. I thought maybe you'd wanna come?" He's clearly nervous, unsure if this would help or hinder your progress.

You nod your head, thinking it over. "You know what, I'm in." The determination in your voice catches Peter off guard.

"Cool, um, great. I guess you're doing better then?" He's still nervous, but eager to finally get you to fully open up to someone about everything.

"Yep. Anytime I get sad, I think of something shitty he did to remind me I'm better off." You smile, knowing he was going to ask for examples.

"Really? Like what?" You can't help but laugh lightly, enjoying how well you know Peter.

"Some vague things, like how he would look at me when he was annoyed. Like those eyes add insult to injury, you know?" He nods, but doesn't really understand.

"Or more specific examples, like that birthday party where you all kept asking me about him, and I made excuses, but truth is he just blew me off. That one honestly should've been the moment I knew."

"He did what?" Peter was livid, but trying to contain the rage to that of a concerned friend rather than jealous crush.

"Eh, I'm over it. It's pretty easy to focus on the bad aspects of the relationship when it ended so badly." You shrug, turning back to the circuit board you were working on.

"How, um, how exactly did it end?" He wondered aloud, knowing you hadn't fully told anyone yet. He watched as you tensed slightly before shaking it off.

"That's a story for another time Pete." You managed a tight smile, not wanting to delve into that conversation just yet.

-

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." You mumbled under your breath.

You had been skating with Peter, Ned, and MJ for about an hour when he walked in.

Peter followed your line of sight, trying to understand your mumbling. When his eyes caught sight of Jared, he panicked.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry! I really thought this would help you this time." He rubbed his hands down his face, silently cursing himself for putting you in this position again.

"Don't worry about it Pete. I'm more prepared to handle it this time around." You laughed, watching out of the corner of your eye as Jared approached you.

"Y/N... I, uh, I've been trying to talk to you." He started boldy, not really caring that you weren't even looking at him.

You did your best to ignore him, but he grabbed your arm to stop you from skating away.

"Y/N, come on-"

"No." You spit at him, not letting him get under your skin. "People like you always want back the love they pushed aside, but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye."

You yanked your arm out of his hand, turning back to your friends. "Let's keep skating. I have no reason to run away."

Peter watched, bewildered as you confidently skated across the rink.

-

The morning of what would be your three year anniversary with Jared felt weird. You weren't upset anymore, but the lingering nostalgia of celebrating an anniversary clung to you.

You deleted the email reminding you of the plans you were supposed to have that evening.

You sighed heavily as you walked into the kitchen, still trying to clear your head.

"You good?" Peter questioned, easily spotting that something was off.

"Yeah, it's just... I don't miss him. At all. I'm over it, but today would've been our anniversary..."

Peter nodded, trying to understand what you were feeling.

"It's strange to think the songs we used to sing, the smiles, the flowers, everything... is gone." You told him the truth, trying not to hide your feelings.

Maybe you should be over it by now, but you spent the majority of your high school career with that guy. It sucks to think it was all a waste.

He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back to comfort you.

"I mean, not to state the obvious, but I didn't get my perfect fantasy with Jared." You huffed, rolling your eyes.

"You'll find your perfect someone." He smiled, unaware of the fluttering in your stomach telling you that maybe you already had.

"Yeah, someone who won't say to my face that he never really loved me." You muttered, feeling the rage burn inside you again.

"He's an ass." You hugged him tighter, enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms.

-

Peter slowed as he walked past your door, listening as the songs changed. He recognized the intro as a song from folklore, but he wasn't sure exactly which one.

"I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit." You sang loudly unaware of listening ears outside the door.

Peter smiled, walking away so as not to interrupt your healing process again.

Meanwhile, you floated around your room, nearly screaming the along to the breakup songs as you finally rid yourself of any lingering items relating to Jared.

"But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you!" You grinned as you threw it all away, ready to fully move on.

-

When the elevator doors opened, Peter was assaulted with the blaring sounds of none other than Taylor Swift.

Apparently, you moved your dance party from your room to the living room, thinking you had the space to yourself for a little while.

He watched as you danced around the room, singing and smiling to your heart's content.

"So he calls me up, and he's like 'I still love you' and I'm like, "I'm just, this is exhausting you know, like..." You caught Peter's smile out of the corner of your eye, fully turning to look at him as you belted out the next line. "We are never getting back together. Like ever. Noooo."

You grab his hands, forcing him to dance and twirl around with you as the song comes to an end.

"I take it your really feeling better." Peter smiles, overjoyed to see you looking so exuberant.

"I am." You nod, keeping it simple.

"No more thoughts about Jared?" He questioned, smiling when you didn't even flinch at his name.

"Nope. I forgot that he existed." You smiled cheekily, still dancing although you turned the music down.

"That's good, then." Peter smiled, suddenly nervous. If you truly had moved on, maybe now was his chance.

"Hey Pete?" You questioned, smiling shyly.

"Yeah?" He stood in front of you, unsure of where this was going.

"I realized something this morning." You whispered, nervous for his response, but dying to tell him the truth.

"Yeah?" He waited, eager to know what you were hiding.

You pressed a quick kiss to his lips before pulling back, watching as he slowly grinned.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked, stunned but grinning like an idiot.

"'Cause, I like you," you smiled, but quickly added 'but I know that it's delicate."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that." He stated, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"No?" You leaned into his touch, feeling like you were on cloud nine.

"Nope. Cause I like you too."

He pulled you in for a deeper kiss, celebrating the beginning of this new stage of your relationship.

Permanent tag list:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman

[sugars-fluffy-escapes]

I just read the hcs you made with your friend and just gotta say that imagining harry and peter as a ler tag team kills meeee 😭 peter would one thousand percent be the person to hold someone down and do most of the verbal teasing while harry has free range to wreck however he pleases; until peter gets bored and decides to join in too which in that case RIP whoever the lee is they had a good run I’m sure- gwen’s really out here with two full-time jobs and one of them is taming tickle monsters ALSHFSKDL

IT IS 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT IDC BECAUSE OH MY GOD ANONNNNNNN- /pos /lh 💖❤️

THE WAY I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS WHOLE LER TAG TEAM CONCEPT WITH THESE TWO FOR DAYS- (The butterflies in my stomach are in overdrive rn omfg HELP AHSJSJSDJDK)

The moment these two find out that you like being tickled, they're gonna be wrecking you every time you walk into the damn room-

Also just envision that during a late night in the Oscorp tower where it's literally just you four in the building and nobody else, that Gwen, in the midst of trying to do some work, just sees you running down the hall and screeching because Peter and Harry are right behind you and they will absolutely catch you- (bonus if they do the thing where one of them is chasing you and the other is waiting right around the corner to catch you which makes you scream 🤭)

Gwen is 100 percent the type of person who can get work done despite potential distractions, so she'll just be working on a shit ton of science related stuff while you're deadass on the floor a few feet away with two adorably evil jerks absolutely wrecking your shit. She's not even phased by it- The only time she'll pause her work is when you need to be rescued.

"GWEHEHENNNNN! *hic* HEHEHEHELP MEHEHEEEEE!"

"Don't worry, Y/N, I'm coming to save you!"

She takes rescuing you from those two tickle monsters very seriously 🥺🖤 Guaranteed she's thinking "...oh my God my boyfriend and boss are both ridiculous..."

YO- IMAGINE- Peter and Harry having the same ultimate death spot (back of the neck-) but for different reasons. Peter cause of the spider bite, and Harry because he's been majorly touch starved for a good twenty years at least. And Gwen will just effortlessly attack those weak spots and the two of them just fall to the floor and curl up with their shoulders scrunching up.

"Really, boys? This is the fourth time in an hour."

Just imagine Peter giving Harry tips on verbal teasing while they're IN THE MIDDLE OF TICKLING YOU- WHAT THE HELL- Peter effin Parker is giving a whole crash course on the effects of verbal teasing and Harry's genuinely paying attention (of course he is! He's gonna pay full attention to a lesson on making you laugh harder)

Don't ever sit between them on movie nights (or just anywhere EVER because they're gonna trap you and wreck you.

Also, fully expect Peter to quiz Harry on verbal teasing methods mid-tickle attack. These two are absolute little shits /hj /lh I adore them both and I adore Gwen 🥺

THANK YOU ANONNNNN 😭❣️ /gen /pos

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

No, It's Definitely Funny

Prompt: Can I request a second part to "Let's Call It Funny" where Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Peter unite forces to confuse and concern all the other avengers (with at least one instance where two or all of them respond to something by pretending to jump off a building?) Love you! -Auggie

Does it count as being back on my bullshit if I never left?

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: none, unless you need a warning for gen z humor

Pairings: it's still found family hours

Word Count: 2259

Peter’s gonna be honest, he may or may not have some competition for the funniest person in the Tower right now.

Because let’s look at the list here:

Traumatized? Everybody and their private jet’s worth of vintage and designer baggage needs therapy.

Queer? If you think Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, or Sam Wilson is straight, you need to tell them everything they’ve ever done to make you think they’re straight so they can stop doing it immediately.

Superhero? Yeah, okay, shush, now you’re being stupid.

Neurodivergent? Have you seen the way these men behave? Definitely the model of Perfectly Normal Person™, what on earth are you talking about, absolutely 100% Normal™.

The only things he’s still got going for him that the others don’t are high-schooler and trans. That’s not a lot when it comes to the fact that hey, two of them are from the Great Depression—let’s be honest, they’re the OGs when it comes to fatalistic humor—and they’ve all got years of practice.

Sure, Peter’s got some trauma-given raw talent, but it’s not refined by years and years of throwing yourself off of buildings and out of planes to avoid having conversations about your emotions.

The day Aunt Nat dropped all of SHIELD’s files on the Internet and Peter found out that Steve yeeted himself out of a plane—without a parachute!—to avoid Nat’s prodding about getting a date was the best day of his fucking life.

“Don’t you go stealing my moves there, kid,” Steve had scolded playfully, winking over the rim of his mug.

“Try and stop me, I dare you.”

“And this is why,” Tony had sighed, looking every bit his 79 years—“Hey!”—as he watches this interaction go down, “you have a parachute built into your suit.”

“I’ll just wear my old one, don’t worry about it.”

“That heinous thing that’s just a cut-up old hoodie and goggles? Peter, no, that thing is being held together with safety pins and hope!”

“I mean, me too, so it’s fine.”

“Peter!”

“Also, like, it’s the one I almost got crushed to death in, so it’s got the emotional trauma seasoning already.”

“Wait—“ Bucky had sat up— “you almost got crushed to death by a building? Sheesh, kid, you’re really flirting with the reaper, huh.”

“It wasn’t so bad, I had training from the years and years of carrying the weight of my sins crawling on my back.”

“At least ask Death for his number next time, he’s not returning my calls.”

“Sergeant, I swear to God—“

“Actually, Death uses they/them pronouns, I asked when I met them last weekend.”

“What the fuck did you do last weekend?”

“Really? Oh cool, well, can you get their number for me? We had a date back in ’45 that they missed.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“Tony, why are you screaming? Not keeping dates is a very serious matter.”

“Trust me, I speak from experience, Tony, it’s not a good habit to get into.”

“You should respect your elders and not scream while we’re talking to you, mister.”

“All of you shut the fuck up.”

See? On one hand, it’s great to have more partners in this venture of making Tony’s hair turn grey—he’s that age, it’s bound to happen any time soon now— “One more crack about my age, kid, I swear.” — but on the other hand, Peter is seriously losing his massive lead on funniest person in the Tower.

The other thing he’s worried about is Sam’s ability to make it so the others can’t actually worry about him.

Because—listen, Sam Wilson is a fucking national treasure and all you fuckers better acknowledge that. It’s no secret that the Captains take turns going out with the shield, all of them answer to ‘Captain America’ because that’s what they are, but no one—and Peter will never say this under threat of death because he does not need any more of the Steve Rogers’ Puppy Dog Eyes™, thank you very much—no one does it better than Sam.

And that means that Sam fucking Wilson can turn a fatalistic, self-deprecating joke into a motivational speech that doesn’t feel disingenuous or cliché at all and everyone is too busy processing the philosophical revelations they’re having to scold him for his, frankly, outstanding sense of humor.

It’s not fair and Peter can’t do it.

He tried. Once.

Didn’t go very well.

No, he’s not gonna talk about it, let’s just move on.

Sam has offered to catch him a couple of times when he gets himself a little too deep into the Mamma Spider™ or Iron Dad™ trap of feeeelings, and he gratefully scoots out of the way when Sam sits down next to him and just makes another joke.

Sam is also a fantastic role model for the brand of ‘I’m going to the store and only have twenty bucks, stop asking for your will to live back’ jokes.

“Hey, Pete!”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go, bodega run.”

“Can we pick up some hopes and dreams, too, all of those got scribbled out in fat red Sharpie yesterday.”

“I said bodega run, not Court of Miracles run.”

“But Sam~”

“Listen, kid, if you manage to find your hopes and dreams in this bodega, keep an eye out for your childhood innocence, that might be on the next shelf over.”

“Deal.”

“Do you two need some more therapy appointments?”

“Only got fifteen bucks, man.”

“I’m literally a billionaire!”

Peter eagerly studies under this pinnacle of humor and keeps his worries to himself.

Because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and Peter’s sense of humor is wonderful, but he is a tad intimidated by the amount of variety the others have got going for them.

“You’re a fucking terror, Spider-ling, that’s what you are.”

“Not true! I was ‘a pleasure to have in class.’”

“Oh, is that why you’re taking ‘Little Shit’ lessons from Barnes and Rogers?”

“And Sam! Don’t forget Captain Wilson, he is an invaluable part of this team. I’m surprised at your ignorance.”

“Pete—no, that’s not—“

“I’m ashamed for you, Mr. Stark.”

“Listen here you little shit—“

Anyway…

Steve and Bucky have a habit of telling these like, really awful jokes that have Peter in stitches for half an hour. It’s not fair and he doesn’t get why they’re so funny because they aren’t, and yet here he is, laughing anyway.

It’s probably some combination of Steve’s perfected innocent face that he wears when he has to do interviews and Bucky’s habit of not giving a single solitary fuck. But they’re able to make the worst jokes with completely serious expressions and it’s not fair.

“Hey, can you guys come help me with something?”

“Sure, Peter,” Steve says instantly, bounding over with his 95-year-old Golden Retriever energy as Bucky trails behind him like a cat that’s sitting in your lap because he wants to, not because he likes you or anything, “what’s up?”

“I have a history project on WWII due tomorrow and I haven’t started it yet.”

Bucky snorts, taking a swig of coffee and sitting down on the floor. Which, same. “You got your eulogy planned?”

“Drafted, sighed, notarized, but Aunt May said no so I gotta do this.”

“Well, if Aunt May says no then I guess that’s that.”

Tony, from far away in another part of the Tower, has a sickening feeling that May Parker has once again proven that she is the most powerful parent and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I, um,” Peter mumbles, fidgeting with his pen, “I want to be respectful of your boundaries, and if you don’t want to talk about anything then—“

Because it’s one thing for someone to make jokes about their trauma and another for someone else to go poking and prodding at it.

“Hey,” Steve interrupts softly, nudging him with his knee, “first off, thank you for saying that and we appreciate your respect, but we got you. You worry about enough, sweetheart, let us take care of ourselves.”

Peter gives him a look.

“When it comes to this,” Steve amends, having the decency to look a little sheepish, “we’ll take care of ourselves.”

Bucky scoffs. “Uh-huh.”

“We will, Buck.”

“My therapist will be real happy to hear that.” He looks up at Peter and winks. “Besides, what good is our trauma if we don’t pin it up and display it for good grades?”

Peter huffs, the joke undercut a little by the way Bucky knocks his foot against Peter’s and Steve’s arm stretches over the couch behind him.

Peter has to resist the urge to lean his head onto Steve’s shoulder, because then Steve’s hand will come up and ruffle his hair and Peter’s eyes will droop slowly closed as he loses himself in the warmth and safety of Steve’s embrace and then Steve will lean down to press a kiss to his temple and—

Right. Homework.

“What’s it on specifically,” Bucky asks, clearly spotting the temptation on Peter’s end, “home front? Overseas? Time period?”

“Uh, it’s an analysis of total war.”

“Like, how much of the country was devoted to the war effort?”

“Yeah, basically. It’s talking about how the Nazi War Machine made their war total and how that extends to a lot of other countries, but also about the reasons why the war was fought—“

They delve into a conversation about total war, Peter pointing out how Italy’s motivation for territory keeps it from being a total war on their part, Bucky speaking to how the different dynamics worked in various countries and the fallout, Steve bringing up how much of the home front was devoted to bringing attention to the war being fought overseas. Then, of course, as is inevitable, they devolve into storytelling.

Peter’s notebook—with notes! He did his job!—is set aside as he gives in to the need to let Steve cuddle him on the couch. Come on, the man is warm and big and gives good hugs, how is he supposed to not? Bucky sprawls out on the floor, leaning back on his hands as he smiles fondly.

“You know,” he remarks casually, “I fought a Nazi in my pajamas once.”

Peter blinks sleepily. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, though how he got in my pajamas, I have no idea.”

Peter snorts. Then he giggles. Then he’s collapsing into Steve’s side, positively sobbing with laughter.

It’s not funny.

It’s really not that funny.

But here he is, fucking dying, and he doesn’t even have the wherewithal to welcome the sweet embrace of oblivion.

“Okay, note to self,” Bucky murmurs when he’s calmed down a little, wiping away tears, “sleepy spider likes corny jokes.”

“Just don’t break our baby spider, Buck, Momma Spider would kill you in cold blood.”

“Listen, if Natasha Romanoff kills me, don’t prosecute. That’s on me.”

Peter can’t do corny jokes. He really can’t. He just sounds like he’s a recording so old it’s unintelligible and it’s bad. He has a reputation to maintain here!

However, there is one sense of humor that Peter is very eager to learn and adopt, and hey, it might actually be Iron Dad™ Approved!

It’s a rookie mistake, asking Bucky Barnes for a hand, but in his defense, Peter was left unsupervised and was distracted.

“Hey, Bucky, can you give me a hand?”

“Sure thing, Peter.”

Something nudges his arm and he looks down. It’s Bucky’s metal arm, bumping up against his elbow.

It’s a cheap joke. It’s bad. It does not deserve Peter’s laughter.

He snorts anyway.

“That’s on me,” he says after a second, “you know what, that’s my fault.”

“What, is this not what you meant?”

“No, no, you’re fine.” Peter scruffs a hand through his hair. He looks down at the prosthetic again. “Well, that’s disarming.”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to snort. “You gotta hand it to me, though, it’s a good joke.”

Oh, it’s on.

“No, no, of course, I understand. You really can’t let an opportunity like that slip through your fingers.”

Steve chokes on his next sip of coffee. “Stop making the kid shoulder the burden of making puns with you.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Don’t palm this off on someone else, Steve, you’re as bad as he is.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad.” Peter shrugs. “You just gotta knuckle-down and find the right one.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to reach for puns?” Bucky hefts his arm.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say a lot.”

“Jeez, Pete, good one.”

“What, are you not finding them humerus?”

Sam’s gone, Steve shortly after. Bucky just grins proudly at him.

Then there’s a massive thunk from behind them. Peter turns around to see Tony slamming his forehead into the counter.

“You are all going to kill me,” he mutters, glaring up at them, “all three of you.”

“Oh, come on, Mr. Stark, Captain Barnes would never hurt you.”

Tony raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“After all,” Peter grins, gesturing to Bucky who is doing a very good innocent face—he must’ve been taking notes from Steve— “look at him, he’s completely armless.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker—“

Okay, so maybe it’s not Iron Dad™ Approved.

Oh, well.