#snipe me tf out please

[star-mum]

And this is why ppl don’t lend books

[blingblong55]

Mistake -141

Based on a request:

I've got a request for you! I got lost in my thoughts and thought of a prompt so sorry if it's a bit jumbled lol So it's like a wrong place wrong time kind of thing where the reader is mistaken for an enemy, and taken to the base. Maybe interrogated a bit before the 141 are told they have the actaul enemy on they way to them and they're like 'then who tf is this....oh shit....'

GN!Reader, angst, civilian!reader, mentions of torture.

141, one of the best military groups the British military has. As always, they have a target to chase after, this time it's in a small town. Their informant let them know it would be a person dressed in a completely different attire than they were used to. You happened to be walking back from your boring job when you passed their location.

"Bravo 0-6, we have eyes on the target," Gaz said over the radio. "Roger that," Price responded, Within seconds you felt as if someone was chasing you. And having that you watched a crime documentary the night before, you quickly thought of a way out. You walked normally but stayed in well-lit areas. The men thought you were just trying to play along with your facade. "Don't let 'em get away," Soap said from his location, his snipe pointed at you. You grabbed your pocket knife and held it in your hand. You walked faster towards a more public road. "Quick, Ghost!" Price ordered. You heard footsteps getting closer and closer.

You ran away, not daring to look back once. You took many detours until you were close to a nearby church, Church service had started but before you could even reach it, Ghost tackled you. "Don't hurt me!" you told him, your hands held high. He took your knife away and pointed his gun at your head, "Why the hell were you running?" You tried to stay calm but two other men approached you, Gaz and Price with their own guns pointed at you. "Soap, you got visual?" Price asked over the radio. "Yes, Sir" was the response, a red dot on your chest. You panicked.

"No please, you are mistaken." your desperate voice pleaded. "That's what they all say." Price growls and Gaz and Ghost drag you back to their temporary base. The entire way there, you cried and begged to be let go. "You have the wrong person, please I'm innocent!" you cried. Soap aggressively cupped your face, "Yer shut the fuck up, ye hear me?"

At base, they threw you to a mattress in an empty room. Wrists tied to the other, ankles tied as well. Your teary face looking at them. Your body is littered with lacerations. Limbs are weak but they wouldn't stop hitting you. You cry, "Please...I beg of you...please stop this" You receive another punch to the abdomen. "Don't you understand we will keep this up, you fucking killer." Gaz held a knife to you. Over the radio, the Delta team came on. "Bravo six, this is Delta 0-5, how copy?"

"This is Bravo six," Price said, his eyes piercing yours. "We found 'em, and are on our way back to base." Ghost gave Price a questioning look. Both men stepped outside of the room, leaving the two sergeants with you. "What do you mean you have the person with you, Delta Five?"

"All features you told us to look for, this person has it and they have admitted to being the subject."

"Fuckin' 'ell." Ghost murmured and rushed inside. "Sergeants, step away." He commanded. "Ghost they are talking now."

"Step away from the civilian, Soap," he advises and approaches you with caution. He kneels in front of you and unties you, "Are you alright?" He asks you with a soft tone. You were too weak to move, all you could do was stare. Whimpers of pain filled the room once Price walked back in and took a look at the injuries they had caused. "C'mon, we have to rush them to the medics." Your vision blurred. In all his years of being a soldier, Price had a day he regretted the most. And that was today, hurting an innocent, treating them as if they were the scum of the Earth. What fucked him up the most? The fact you died on the bed of the medical tent. Your body is weak, blood on the floor and how you died innocent and young, a poor civilian taken hostage, begging to be let out and no one heard.

That day, Task Force 141 lost another piece of their sanity, another stitch with emotions and another shattered glass to the oath they took to protect civilians. Ghost added you to his book of names, the list of all those he lost to war, by his hands, or by the cruelty his job brought. Another soul that Gaz ripped away because of orders, ones he always followed without question. Soap, the one who had the most blood on his hands, now regretted not listening to his instincts.

[bigmack2go]

I got live‘sies so its time to appreciate‘sies some brackrond‘sies detailies

Not rly bc but i live how it looks like were zooming up, and then back down the lodge before and after santafee prologue

Why tf is crutchie su confused when he wakes up

Jack proceeds to sleep with one of just drawings wtf

He waves his hand infront of crutchie like „ur eyes closed yet??“

Al playing and leaning on the rail ahhhh ahshwksmdnxlxl (in case u didnt know: i love albert)

Race laughing and slapping specs

Everyone just deads in their tracks and teams up when Albert gives his coment that went to far

Finch scratching his head is so real

DID BIRD FLY TWEETY BOY JUST LEAN IN FOR A GOODMORNING KISS

AND DID GINGER MF JUST REFUSE BIRD FLY TWEETY BOY HIS KISS??

The slap on his chest like „not now honey“ 😭swejfcizp

Ike and mike arent in the same thibgy thing. For fucks sake thank god cuz its been bothering me for a while how they only get mentioned in the same context. I hate it when they do that. Wait nvm that looked like mush but it actually was mike.

Naw sniper can be so adorable

Did i mention i fucking love jojo

Smalls snd finch sharing a room ™️

Crutchie is so done w jacks bullshit

LMAO BUTTONS COMBING HIS HAIR

Albert posing infront of the „mirror“ is so me tbh

Ive mever seen anyone struggle this mutch to out on a hat as blink. All those tbh thats smt that could be me prolly

Specs babe what r u doing on the floor

Race shaking his jaket is so overdramatic and its perfect

Mush and henry are a duo I didn’t know I needed.

Why is mush acting like hes in a circus lmfao

Tommy struggling with the pants is everything

Elmer just took his cap off, put it in his pocket, and the magicaly made it apear in his other hand???

Who is tommy saluting at

Naw specs is like a big brother to livesies blink and it breaks my heart in the best way possible

Albert jumps in the middle like when i slide through the kitchen on my socks lmfao

Tbh sniper just wanted to move too

Sky. What was your thought process when you looked at darcy‘s ass instead of Katherine‘s even tho you knew this was gonna be in the proshot?

BUTTONS WTF??

Finch is such a mood istg

Snipe honey ily but you are being a little creepy

HENRY YOU JUST PUT ON THE JACKET HOW DID IT GO OFF U AGAIN?

I demant to know what jojo is doing

Ok smalls just sitting there dangling their feet is everything

BUTTONS ALSO LOOKED AT DARCY INSTEAD OF KATH WTH ?? HER ASS CABT BE THAT BAD /j

Kath awkward queen

Darcy going „alright“ like „okay thats enough, im done— your dONE“

HES SO PROUD 🥹

Specs. Going down backwards are leathers. This are stairs. Please watch where you’re goibg

RACE TOO IS EYEING DARCY INSTEAD OF KATHERINE

Istg romeo and jack r the only ones eyeing kathering wtf is thos?

RACE LOOKS AT CRUTCHES SO KNOWINGLY LIKE AN INSIDE JOKES UNDER BROTHERS LMFAO I LOVE THAT. THEYRE MAKING FUN OF JACK TOGETHER AHSHWKENFN

Ok so elmer actually looked at kath but he honestly just looks angry

Tommy boy save me, youre the only normal person here!

Nvm

Race wtf is your deal??

OKAY SOMEONE HELP ELMER I THINK HES HAVING A SEIZURE

How is blink STILL bot done?!

Jacks just talking to the air

Every single one of finches facial expressions. Like i can’t even count them all.

Hes so done lmfao

Mush? Wtf? Stop? Please?

You wanna share with the class tommy? We wanna laugh too

Buttons just watches like he just gave up like,,, ah whatever you do you

Mush is becoming a poledancer??

WJEN DID SPECS GO BACK UP THERE WTF

Race slapping buttons on the cheek like a grandma💀💀💀

We all agree that albert is that one friend where the whole friendgroup thinks he’s the token straight friends but hes everything but that, its just that he doesn’t talk about it a lot. And there’s that one friend (i wonder who/j) that knows fron experienced how thats just so fucking wrong

Elmer is like „😒😒😒—oh shit thats my cue- IM HAPPY“

So i got aprox two seconds into it and now in tired so see u lmfao

[azurdlywisterious]

Ive been thinking about making a comic of all of my fallout ocs arguing with each other, but fake tumblr would work too

⏳ start-startover reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

😎 anon asked:

Look all I’m saying is that it’s kinda cringe to simp after a singer with a dead career :/

⏳ start-startover answered:

I know thats u suzie. Get tf off anon and say it to my face skank

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Its just embarrassing that youve risked life and limb for a knock off bing crosby is all

⏳ start-startover

At least im not married to a faceless corpse that doesnt care about anything aside from his pretty buildings

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Say that to my face again i fucking dare you. I’ll have you know that he is still very much alive unlike dean domino’s fucking career which mr house pays for need i remind you

⏳ start-startover

Ive felt guilt about a lot of things but i doubt putting you in the dirt will be one of them

#iykyk #im not explaining my time trapped in the timeloop again #just read my pinned post

11 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting reblogged thecoolerscrewdriver

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It’s got what plants crave!

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

It has electrolytes!

#also we’re out of vodka harvey #if you dont mind picking some up next time youre out

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💥 mygenderis-c4

Why tf did you @ them sir???

🧠 big-mt-head

I dont talk about people behind their backs?

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

Sir, i know youre new here, but like… youre allowed to vague people

🧠 big-mt-head reblogged uh-ohthemisery

Elaborate on “vague[ing] people” please

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

@.therealprimmshady come pick up ur weird robot girl shes scaring the hoes again

#i mean ive met her parents so im not surprised she turned out like this #but wow shes gonna get fuckin ratioed out here

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

Lots of drama going down in the mr house fandom tonight. Couldn’t be me

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

Yeah couldnt be me

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Yeah couldnt be me

🍀 luckiestbastard

#are yall those other side of the country ghouls that everyone keeps talking about?

42 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Yeah and shes gonna pay! Screw karma, ill collect your debt myself deja!

⏳ start-startover

Hows the bos bunker doing?

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Not my problem, legion scum

⏳ start-startover

YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Dont put ur trauma in your pinned post next time

⏳ start-startover

Square up bitch ill snipe your pretty head off!

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

One second my securitron army needs me mwah mwah

🍀 luckiestbastard

Does anyone in this thread smoke weed?

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Its got what plants crave!

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It has electrolytes!

#punk just brew some urself #just pick some corn and razorgrain from the garden outside #unless we need new razorgrain plants

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🌌 azurdlywisterious

On second thought, maybe it wouldnt be a good idea to give them all tumblrs

[impossibletruths]

I cannot fucking believe ive actually found your blog holy fucking shit i dont even know whether you still like really use it anymore or not but i really hope youll see this ask at some point and i know this makes no sense right now but i promise i shall explain

so i would like to begin by saying that the last time ive seen your blog was like 3 whole fucking years ago or 4 or smth like that and you were one of my favourite fanfic writers when i was into the goddamned fucking magicians (yes big yikes i know) your haircutting fic with eliot and quentin post monster unironically still lives in my head rent free years later whenever i remember that the magicians existed at some point like that one fic changed my brain fucking chemistry at the time i read it i fucking swear

anyway anyway moving on with the explanation back then you were also into mdzs which i had NO idea what it was nor did i really care to find out cause i was deep as fuck in my hyperfixation and THEN a bit later after my magicians hyperfixation went down the drain it just so happened that a shitload of the people i was following or mutuals of mine got really into mdzs in that period of time (might have been popular during that period i dunno) so i looked into it a bit right and i saw that its complicated as fuck and theres books tv series manhua donghua movies and so many fucking things i was like hell fucking no god thats a lot

so ANYWAY FLASH FORWARD YEARS FUCKING LATER yesterday i was looking for something to watch right and guess fucking what unironically out of the goddamned motherfucking depths of my subconscious comes out "mdzs" now i didnt even fucking remember what that was at this point in time so i looked it up AGAIN found out about it AGAIN and then STARTED FUCKING WATCHING IT and NOW literally RIGHT NOW im on the last fucking episode of the first season of the donghua and out of absolutely nowhere it just hit me over the head that YOU PERSONALLY are literally the sole reason why i got into this fucking thing YEARS LATER you somehow got a stranger into a new hyperfixation YEARS after they had last even seen your blog

so anyway ive been literally tracking down your blog for thr past HOUR i tried searching for you on tumblr ao3 AND google and i was just gonna give up and then somehow i actually FOUND YOU and again i have no idea whether youll even see or read this but i literally just wanted you to know that you SOMEHOW gave someone from years into the future a fucking hyperfixation which is wild and very very funny and that i am personally fucking victimised by you because my heart cannot fucking take this shit like god fucking damn

anyway god this was long if you ever see this i hope youre doing alright i dont know whether youre still writing or nah but please know that i always highly enjoyed your works when i read them and i still hold the same opinion about how amazing your writing is even now years later and yeah hope youre fine and your life is good cheers take care of yourself

omgggggggg honestly congrats on the sleuthing and I'm honored you remember the haircut fic (fuckin' rip the magicians pour one tf out). Sorry to snipe you multiple years into the future with the MDZS bug but I hope you enjoy it!!

[soundwavemain]

First and foremost, all of the artwork in this post was done by the wonderfully talented @fanficmaniatic! Go check out their work!

Now, business time 😈

Here she is! My Decepticon oc Mindrift from my transformers fan continuity.

She has a silly personality and a bit of an ego but, when it comes to a fight, she's incredibly stern. If you find yourself at the end of her massive hammer, you're out of luck, buddy.

[secondhoekage]

Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore

They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?

Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.

The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 

To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious

under the cut tho bc damn this is too long

In this essay I will—

Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 

I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 

I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her

Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out

In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights

CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :

“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”

...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)

I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful

Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.

I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!

Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still

At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool

And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...

I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 

I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 

Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away

Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt

I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight

[curlybitch]

Main 3 + Aizawa with a S/O who's quirk causes them to fall asleep/pass out after using it

Im pretty sure this is gender and race neutral but 🤷🏽‍♀️

Bakugou

The first time its happens he’s sister S H O O K

Like damn bitch really?

Your probably training when it happens

Your quirk allows you to send out high energy electrons to break particles in solids and liquids apart at the molecular level

Yeah you know your shit

anyway the high energy electrons reside within your body and when you send them out it depletes your energy by lowering your glucose production

Yeah that makes like very little sense but it sounded smart in my head

So yall are going against robots in some training sim

You’ve been put on the same team and you guys absolutely DESTROY the sim

Metal and other things used to make a robot strewn all over

Hes panting, Hunched over with his hands still popping and a murderous look on his face.

He turns to look at you smirk curling the ends of his mouth as he lets out a “how about it you stupid fucking extra. Not bad."

You turn to look at him as well a small smile making itself known before your face goes blank and you tip backwards to fall into a heap on the ground

Or at least you would haveif he hadn’t caught you

He had snatched your wrist at the last moment as it had limply swung in the air and he pulls you into his chest and wraps his arm just under your shoulder blades

He iS fReAkING oUt 

His Crush just fucking collapsed like

HOW????

Legit brushes past Allmight who was your teacher for the class and hauls ASS to recovery girl

Like

He thought you were dead

On his way out he heard Kaminari mumur a “Ms.Kesha. MS.KESHA!! omfg she fuckin dead”

He’ll get pikachu for that later though

When he learns its just a side effect of your quirk he’s less worried but still v concerned. 

When you do finally start dating Expect him at your side whenever you guys are working on quirks

After Training camp your stamina increases though so he’s a little less worried

Always provides Carbohydrates needed to get your energy up

“EAT YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BEING"

If you fall asleep on him or his stuff (like maybe yall were studying or smth) you best believe he’s not getting his shoulder/side of his body/bed or whatever back

He loves you so much like he really does want whats best for you

Todoroki 

Oh shit

Is probably the most protective of you ngl

You better be prepared to get smothered

The first time it happens he kind of just watches with a blank yet panicked look as you collapse 

Its at USJ after the teachers arrive

You had barley been holding it together in the landslide zone with Shouto since hagakure was literally nowhere to be seen

You could create force fields and send out compressed air blasts. The problem is when using your quirk getting oxygen through the force fields is hard and when you send out blasts of air 62% of it comes from your lungs.

By the time snipe shoots the first shot your vision is hazy and your having a hard time standing

Shouto notices this and stands a little closer worried you may be under the effect of a villain’s quirk.

you bend over falling onto your hands and knees (😏) as your face tents red under your darker skin

By the time you do fall into unconscious he snaps out of it and rushes over to you.

He picks you up as a pro comes over asking whats wrong.

When he learns its an effect of your quirk he’s like

DAMN

Like your own quirk basically chokes you and your so nonchalant when you wake up he’s ???

When y'all finally do get together don’t worry/

Need to get your inhaler prescription but insurance wont cover it He has Endevawhores credit card 

So ready to spoil you with that assholes money

He legit buys an oxygen tank just so he can carry it so that if you look like you need it he can provide you with air

He thinks your so amazing like your quirk literally works against your body and your still out here getting your grind on

(Grind on him though pls-)

You have a higher blood oxygen ratio than most people so your lighter than average and at first he’s worried

“Baby, please eat”

“Y/N Are you hungry?”

Once you explain to him why your weight is the way it is he calms down a little

Still spoils you though

Midoriya  

OH baby

He knows what its like to have a quirk that effects you negatively 

Is 100% there for you

The first time it happens he crys

Baby boy Thought that he lost you before he could confess

Your quirk allows you to manipulate peoples minds

It’s basically an illusion quirk but you make people see what you want them to see

The problem is-

It takes alot of brain power for you to do that 

Even though your big brain

(Big Brain)

It still exhausts you on a mental and emotional level. Especially emotionally if you make some dark shit

During the Activity on the first day you to make your classmates and your teacher think you did well. 

Afterwards When your ranked 6th your so fucking tired you pass out.

He panics because you fall back right onto him.

M*neta was so jealous

He really loves you in like

The purest way

He thinks that you probably wouldnt want to date him because most girls like guys who are taller than them

You guys are about the same height

Hes also really timid and insecure

PLEASE REASSURE HIM

Falling asleep on his shoulder during bus rides

Sleeping in his bed while he does his homework

Just showing you trust him

He wants you to know he can provide for you in emotional ways

Probably has a whole notebook dedicated to your quirk

Helps you think of ways to make it more offensive

Ways to combat it

Hes got you

Aizawa

You fall asleep all the time

Half the time it's just cause your in the habit of sleeping after your shift at hero work

LIKE

Bitch

Tf

Him too

You guys are both underground heroes but you met back in your 1-A days

Well his 2-A days but who's counting

So he already knows what's happening the first time you collaspe

Your quirk is called Silent Night (lmao now I'm just making shit up)

Your quirk allows you to decrease or completely eradicate sound and sight in a person/group

This can be a steady decrease or not

Anyway by doing this it creates a ringing in your ears and back in your early days it caused splitting headaches and Black out migranes

It also can cause black spots Dancing around your vision

You get really disoriented

The first time your patrols synced you guys had to take out a large drug ring

You had to block the sight and sound of about 200 men and women who were on a less than legal position

When you guys get them all cuffed with the help of a few other heroes and the police have finally arrived you all but collaspe against the wall of the building

Black spots dance in your vision as your ears ring

He slowly walks over to wear you seem to be rapidly falling into unconsciousness and puts a hand on your shoulder

He calls over a medic even though he knows they cant exactly help you as it's a side effect of your quirk

Expect naps together

All

The

Time

He shares his sleeping bag and yall are cuddled up so close

Even though it's pretty big cause hes 6 feet tall do the sleeping bag is about 8ft and drowns your ass

He just loves having you close!

So uh...this is my first reader insert so tell me how it is...?

Leave me a ask or dm me one???

I'll try (pretty much) anything once!!!

EDIT: AHHHHH

Also please please PLEASE send me an ask cause a bitch is bored.

[ghostiewriter]

MA'AM YOU'VE JUST MADE MY DAY HECK SCRATCH THAT MY WEEK. YOU BECOMING MY BIGGEST FAN?! SHUT UP HOW CAN THAT BE BC I ADMIRE YOU SM? JUST TAKE MY HEART ALREADY.

We shall see if the fic comes to fruition but 🤞🏼. Thinking of doing a through the years kinda thing. They first cross paths on Diagon Alley perhaps it's an unfriendly first meeting. Both of them are like fucking great😒 upon realising they've been sorted into the same house. Also Musa making fun of the fact she's taller than him when they're sniping at each other. One year, on the journey to Hogwarts, she's trying to find an empty carriage to sit in and bumps into someone. Ofc its riven who's had a growth spurt over the summer and has filled out. Shes a little flustered, hes just smirking bc hes noticed her reaction and teases tf out of her. Throw in a yule ball maybe, a perfect opportunity for jealousy. That's all I got atm. Thanks again for being so nice ❤ ~ 🥀

AVAISBSJSBS MATE STOP NO CAUSE IM ALREADY YOUR BIGGEST FAN WITH ALL THE RIVUSA STUFF YOU SEND ME, ITS MY POSITION FUCKERS, PEOPLE ARE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT ME FOR IT💀😌

BUT YES YES YES!!! I LOVE ALL OF THIS👀also a scene of them having detention together? It possibly being in the Forbidden Forest? Cute wee flirty banter whilst on their brooms, flying around and practicing? Them being competitive af in all their classes and trying to beat one another? A duel scene? THEM HAVING A WEE HEAVY MAKEOUT SCENE IN THE HALLWAY AND THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENTS SHOWING UP—

SO MANY IDEAS WGAUEBSJS PLEASE MATE YOU GOTTA DO THIS!!❤️

[lovelyirony]

No Shelf-Awareness

I’m just trying to work out these cards I’ve been dealt -Rumour, Chloe Howl

Bucky doesn’t necessarily like meetings. He views them as a waste of time, and they could just as easily give him a paper with all the information. Clint says it’s so if they have questions they ask them there instead of making a mistake on the field.

“They allow mistakes?” Bucky asks, as blandly as can be.

“You make me so sad on so many levels,” Clint says, clapping his shoulder. “Yes, you’re allowed to make mistakes. Why the hell do you think Steve is allowed on-field?”

Bucky laughs at that one.

The meeting in question is about Iron Man. The red and gold suit with a man inside of it, apparently. SHIELD wants his identity but more importantly, the technology.

“If you haven’t found anything else like it, what makes you think that he wants to share it?” Bucky asks. “Just let it happen.”

“We can’t just ‘let’ this happen, Barnes,” Fury says, voice steady and eye trained on him.

“Why not?” Bucky asks. “He’s taking care of criminals on a corporate level. We can’t touch that without bringing more attention to agents.”

“Which is why we’re integrating,” Fury says.

“Not fast enough,” Bucky says. “He doesn’t need to gain trust. With integrating, there’s possibility of a double agent. They get paid off and it’s more than what you promise for a salary.”

“I assure you our agents aren’t that low.”

“Oh and you kept them all from Hydra?” Bucky snaps. “Because as I recall, Rumlow was pretty damn happy to be one of Pierce’s lapdogs, so—”

“Enough,” Fury snaps. “Enough from you, Barnes.”

“We could be dealing more directly with the people we have that actually need to be stopped instead of a damned robot who happens to like taking down illegal corporations that were on our to-do list anyway,” Bucky snipes back. “I’m leaving.”

“Don’t bother expecting yourself on the next mission,” Fury calls after him.

He gets a nice and shiny metal finger in response.

Bucky then decides to treat himself to a trip to the bookstore. He’s already read the last book twice, and he needs a new one.

It’s a Friday, and kids are getting out of school. He pays them little mind as he walks with purpose, taking note of possible threats, a new donut shop

The bookstore smells nice, like coffee and sugar. Bucky wanders through it, keeping an eye out for the owner.

He finds him huddled at a table with a group of teenagers, explaining some sort of math problem, laughing at one’s joke. He has glasses perched on the end of his nose, giving him quite an amusing and cute appearance. Bucky smiles to himself a little as he disappears into the stacks, looking through the new arrivals. He finds two particularly interesting ones.

“That one is really good,” comes a voice from behind him. Bucky turns, seeing Tony. He looks nice today. He’s wearing bright yellow shoes. “I like it.”

Bucky takes another look at the cover.

“What else can you recommend? I’m kind of a fast reader.”

(He is not a fast reader. Well, not really. But if you stay up all night only reading because you have too many nightmares, then it counts. Technically.)

Tony puts about four or five books into his arms before he realizes that he hasn’t checked prices or anything.

“Trust me, this is fine,” Bucky says, grinning. “Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem…huh. I just realized I don’t actually know your name.”

Tony does, in fact, know James Buchanan Barnes’ name. Quite well, in fact. He’s the one who Hydra trained to kill people and attempt to kill Howard and Maria Stark, who are still living. They moved to Italy, by the way. No, Tony doesn’t care. Just makes it easier to break into the New York home on occasion, fix up the old workshop.

(He can’t use his own apartment as a base for Iron Man. That would be utterly ridiculous.)

But for this purpose, he does actually need to learn Bucky’s name.

“I’m Bucky,” he says.

“Parents hated you, did they?” Tony teases.

“Only slightly less than my idiot friend who gave it to me,” Bucky says, grinning.

“Idiot friends are like that,” Tony says, smiling. “Well, do you want to sit down and read for a bit? Chairs are open, if you’d like.”

“Sure. Mind if I order a coffee?”

“Of course,” Tony says. “What do you want?”

Bucky did not know that there was more coffee. Well…correction. He knew that there was more to coffee than black. There had to be, obviously. He just wasn’t expecting the menu to be so extensive. He looked at it for a few moments while Tony waited expectantly.

“Um, wow. I don’t drink a lot of coffee, but um, what would you recommend?”

“I personally love the lavender latte we’ve been trying out,” Tony says. “I’ll make you one and if you don’t like it, I’ll replace it free of charge.”

Bucky not drinking a lot of coffee is a lie. Steve joked that he needed a tank of coffee a day to even function. Bucky just usually took it with a bit of sugar and pronounced it good.

Now this was amazing. Bucky loved the drink, loved how different the flavor was. He could drink about twelve more of these if he really wanted to.

“Tony, this is amazing,” Bucky says, expressing pure delight over it. “How do you make coffee this good?”

“You act as if you’ve never had a latte,” Tony says, laughing. (It’s not acting.) “But here, let me explain…”

Bucky could hear Tony Jarvis explain things for ages. He’s really good at it, like he’s used to explaining how things go all the time. Bucky finds it relaxing.

It is at this point that a kid in a t-shirt comes up.

“Hey, Mr. Jarvis—”

“Call me Tony, Pete,” Tony responds. “What’s next on the homework agenda?”

“We have to write a persuasive essay and since you told us you took marketing, we figured you could help.”

“Not sure how much help I’ll be, but sure,” Tony says. “Bucky, I’ll talk to you later. Enjoy the books. If you finish any while you’re here, just put them back on the re-shelving cart by the door, okay?”

“Yes, Sir!” Bucky says, throwing a mock salute. Tony snorts, saluting lazily back.

Bucky gets sucked into the first book. He relates to how out-of-place the main character feels. He doesn’t notice the sky getting dark until he sips his coffee and it’s cold that he looks up.

Tony has been staring at him for the better part of an hour. Not that he knows that. He just knows that Tony has perhaps been gazing for a minute or two.

“Oh god, please tell me I’m not staying past close,” Bucky says.

“You’re not, don’t worry,” Tony says, laughing. “You would’ve known if you were. No, there’s thirty minutes more left, if you want to keep reading. No rush, sweetheart.”

Bucky goes back to his book with a nod, hoping that Tony doesn’t catch his cheeks going bright red. He remembers being called sweetheart before, but this is drastically different from 1934 for all the right and wrong reasons. (Right because finally he can tell a guy he’s cute without getting mauled or having to whisper it near-six-feet-under. Wrong because Tony is running a business and Bucky met him a day ago.)

Tony shifts nervously around the shop. He had planned on closing early, getting into the suit with Rhodey and doing some recon.

Judging from the texts from Rhodey, so was he:

Bitch where tf are you. Stoopid.

Well excuse me honeypie, but I got held up. A customer is still here!

Kick them out tf????? r u on crack?

No you stupid-ass—listen. I just can’t make it

Ohhhh this is your bucky-boy. This is hilarious. Yeah leave the store open until he leaves. Idk why he isn’t on the roster with the rest of the Avengers this week. Should be. Damned good guy. lmk if he’s a booty call 

I won’t talk to you for a week.

Thank god!

Tony huffs, clicking his phone off and returning to wiping down the counters and rearranging the records. Bucky walks up, putting the books at the register.

“I didn’t realize people still played records,” Bucky says, looking at the room adjacent.

“I’ll make sure that you get to play some next time you’re here,” Tony says. “But let me ring you up, okay?”

Bucky hands out the amount owed and sticks three dollars in the tip jar. Tony thanks him and smiles, and Bucky thinks he’ll have to start separating his bills more so that he can see that smile more often.

-

And then, of course, he gets a call from his phone.

“You’re needed,” Natasha says. “Come over. Now.”

“What happened to me being banned?”

“You’re a sharpshooter and a good weapons analyst. Fury would be stupid to reject that. Get here. Now.”

She hangs up. Always keeps it short and sweet, that Romanov. Bucky sighs, figuring out if he has enough time to go to his apartment and stash the books, or if he’ll have to leave them at headquarters.

He has to leave them at headquarters. He gets a look from Steve and Clint.

“Find a new hobby?” Steve asks.

“Of a sort,” Bucky says. “Got interrupted. What’s the plan?”

“Both War Machine and Iron Man are attacking Hammer Industries. Again.” Clint says, rolling his eyes. “You know, just when you thought they would switch it up. This is the third time in a row. Third time’s the charm and all that…”

Bucky doesn’t trust this for a wide variety of reasons. 1.) Iron Man is smarter than all of them, as is War Machine. 2.) Three times? In a row? Something has to be going down.

“What has Hammer Industries been doing?”

“Other than building weapons and government contracts? Nothing out of the ordinary,” Natasha says.

“Government contract is a big deal ever since Stark Industries lost out,” Bruce adds. “CEO—Pepper Potts—decreed no more weapons. Not a very popular move on her part.” Yeah, Bucky could see that. His best is from Stark Industries, but he understands. Iron Man had released evidence about SI’s involvement in shady under-the-table deals, all at the direction of Obadiah Stane.

“So, why go after a government contract?” Bucky muses. “They know something we don’t.”

“That doesn’t matter right now, we’re getting both of them under custody,” Hill says from the cockpit.

It does matter, his conscious whispers, or else you’d still be staring at Tony from the bookstore. His focus returns to the books at his side. He didn’t notice it before, but the bookstore has its own stamp that it gives the inside covers. It’s cute. He must have stared too long, because Steve nudges his arm.

“I’m glad you found a place you like,” he says. “Where is it?”

For some unknown reason, Bucky doesn’t want to tell anybody.

“Just a bookshop,” he says, closing the cover. “Checked it out before coming here. Around the neighborhood.”

That’s all he says before the mission is engaged and he’s strapped with enough gear to kill a pack of bears. He would much rather be reading, but that’s not what he gets.

-

“Took you long enough,” Rhodey says over the mic. “You and Bucky have fun between the stacks?”

“Nothing of the sort,” Tony responds. “I cannot believe you would accuse me of impropriety, honey. Honestly.”

“I have literally seen you strip on a Tuesday morning because you had too many mimosas and Pepper wanted to see if you actually would.”

“Details darling, let’s focus on the now. What has our dear friend Justin been up to?”

“For one, his online security and the regular security absolutely suck. I already am printing out the evidence where I’m at. I think all we need is to destroy some stuff and then—”

Rhodey gets knocked aside by red, white, and blue.

Tony groans. Figures that they would catch onto the pattern. Tony knew he should’ve waited, but he didn’t want to get Hammer spooked and up and running again. They needed him out of the way, maybe introduce a better CEO or hell, a better company—

“Iron Man, stand down,” comes the loudspeaker of the jet.

“Fat chance,” he mutters, zooming away from one of Hawkeye’s projectile arrows. Seriously, they could have so much better range if he built them. Unfortunately for him, SHIELD apparently wants him on a silver platter, so that won’t be a nice future with the company.

War Machine is already leading the heavy hitters away. The hardest one to deal with is usually Thor, who doesn’t always have the most accurate shot but definitely doesn’t entirely miss. Especially with the hammer having some sort of recall, it’s difficult to avoid. Tony’s just happy that Winter Soldier is off the roster and away from—

Son of a bitch, no he’s not. He can see the arm from here, and curses.

“Platypus, we have a gleaming problem.”

“I thought he was off the roster!”

“Apparently Fury signed his permission slip for this field trip,” he replies. “What do we need to destroy? I have an idea.”

“A shipment of guns. I don’t recommend going anywhere near it, but of course you will not heed my advice.”

“Be a dear and lead the Widow in closer? I think I can do something.”

Winter Soldier is having a fun time. Usually the missions are a one-hit-wonder, so to speak. Iron Man and War Machine move and actually anticipate the shots, which is all sorts of fun. He just hopes that Steve can’t see his grin, or he’ll be in hot water for it. (Fun sucker.)

“Barnes do you have the shot!” Nat yells.

“I’ve had the damn shot, what the fuck do you want me to do against iron?” he yells back.

“It’s titanium-alloy, but I understand,” Iron Man says smoothly, touching down as lightly as a ballerina. “SHIELD not do the intelligence testing anymore? I understand. If they knew Hawkeye was on the team without it…”

Bucky wants to laugh. He really, really does. But he doesn’t. “Why are you at Hammer? What’s your game?”

“I’m surprised you ask,” Tony says, blinking. His helmet tilts to one side. Usually, no one at SHIELD asks any sort of question. This is…new. “Hammer’s selling under the table. War Machine and I are handling it.”

“You didn’t tell SHIELD about this, did you?”

“There’s a reason SHIELD wants me in handcuffs but the suit left to their own devices,” he says. “They’re not as trustworthy as you think, hot-shot.”

And then Iron Man dodges a blast, and the debris lands on the containers.

The company’s own fault. Clever. Bucky has to hand it to whoever is behind the mask, he’s smart.

Iron Man does a mock salute.

“Until next time, losers!” War Machine calls out.

“Do you think they know that War Machine has a tracking device?” Natasha asks. Clint shakes his head.

“Not sure. Probably not since we’ve been focusing on Iron Man. We’ll have to wait and see.”

Bucky turns, thinking. Iron Man had said that they’re not as trustworthy as they seem. What did he mean by that? How so?

-

Rhodey isn’t a fucking clown. Of course he knows they put a tracker somewhere on his suit. It’s recording audio, which Jarvis knows. Rhodey puts a finger to his lips as they touch down. Tony gets the hint immediately, taps out a message for Jarvis to scan and debug.

“Pest Control Initiative working now…” comes the smooth, lilting accent of Jarvis.

Once they’re out of harm’s way, Rhodey cracks a grin.

“Think they’ll like that?”

“Should fry the system for them for a little bit,” Tony says. “Which leads into me getting in. Thanks for putting up with that whole mess.”

“You owe me a century-old bottle of whiskey for Black Widow.”

“Get in line behind Pepper,” Tony says. “She’ll be at the cabinet on your left.” Rhodey snorts as they touch down at Stark Industries. Pepper is there with a raised eyebrow.

“Evening gentlemen,” she says. “Drinks are on the counter. Fruit juice, no alcohol. It’s a Thursday.”

“Thursday is Friday is Saturday,” Rhodey snarks, taking the glass anyway. “How was work today, Pep?”

“Horrible,” she groans, leaning back on her barstool. “Asshats keep trying to tell me what to do when it’s my company, technically speaking. Tony, how is your bookshop?”

“We’re getting more and more people in,” Tony says. “Record sales are nice, coffee is good too. I need to come up with a new idea for an iced coffee flavor. I’m coming up with nothing.”

“Hazelnut usually works well if you need something in a pinch,” she returns. “Did you manage to get into their system?”

“Success,” Jarvis cuts in smoothly. “I am well-integrated into their system; they have no idea I am there. Of course.”

Jarvis is a bit proud of that particular thing. Then again, he gets a big head when he’s successful.

“Good for you,” Rhodey says. “What can you tell us?”

“Employees have a shocking amount of free time and have made a donut tower.”

“The business, J,” Tony says.

“I am sorry, I was following your ever-amazing guidance for protocol,” Jarvis remarks. “SHIELD has an unprecedented number of holes in security. Files have gone missing. There are a few members that go on trips and check in at the ill-advised times.”

“What does that mean?” Pepper asks.

“When Peggy was running the show everyone had to check in at her time,” Tony says. “She also talked personally about it with everyone or assigned people to supervise if she couldn’t. It was more reliant on people and what you saw. With Fury, times became more technological. Not a bad thing, but not a fantastic thing either. With technology you could claim there was an issue checking in, or the computer lagged. It happens, and you can say that every once in a while unless if you’re me.”

“Because you built most of the systems,” Rhodey says. “So we know you’re at least decently smart.” Tony pokes his tongue out.

“Point is, a lot of the older members of SHIELD either say they didn’t get it, or get tech support to fix it later. Using their inability as an ability, most likely. Clever. I’m just wondering how far it goes.”

“We’ll find out in time,” Rhodey says. “Maybe when you take Bucky out for drinks, you can seduce him into giving you information.”

Pepper stills.

“Tony, you did what?!”

“Um…” Tony glares at Rhodey. “He kind of lives by my bookstore and doesn’t know I’m there? If that makes it better? I should go, I have inventory—”

“Stay,” Pepper says. “We are working on this and I am making sure that you don’t give away your secret because you fall in love.”

“I won’t fall in love!”

“Tall, dark, mysterious, and reads books? Please, I’m surprised I don’t see drool coming out of your mouth,” Pepper says. “Rhodey, did you know about this?”

“Yes. I didn’t tell you because it was funny.”

Pepper huffs. Tony sinks into a comfy lounge chair. It’s gonna be a long night.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr/ Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)

Word Count: 1,088 Words

Summary: Todo-siblings, teacher shenanigans, the 1-A twins accidentally freeze out the fifth floor, and Kirishima is best boy.

Warnings: Cursing, Sleep Deprivation, Insomnia, Abuse Mention, Mensuration/Period Mentions, Caps, Food Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Anxiety Mention, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Natsuo and Fuyumi's chat names are based on quirk headcanons I have for them. Natsuo's is because I headcanon him to have a quirk where he can manipulate and generate water like Shoto can with his ice and Fuyumi's because I headcanon her to have a thermal manipulation quirk. Touya's is 'wine' because white and red wine and his hair is red and white.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

We Love A Good, Caring Dadzawa In This House-Chapter 3

11:38 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

chaotic goth gay: so anygay we ever gonna talk bout the fact that the twins in 1a plan to take a week home?

kazoo cowboy: no??? it's their personal life????

needalegup?: I say we leave the boys alone.

screeching cockatiel: they don't like being referred to at 'the twins' Nemuri. They're separate beings.

chaotic goth gay: okay, the two canadian flags of Shouta's 25 nearly adopted children.

grumpy scarf cat: you're right but why say it?

bloody hell: I thought his class was 26 students now like mine? who tf you forgetting Nemuri?

chaotic goth gay: no one I be leaving out that little grapist tho. hate him and so does Shouta

screeching cockatiel: OwO oh worm?

grumpy scarf cat: never again Hizashi. never again.

screeching cockatiel: OvO

grumpy scarf cat: i hate you.

screeching cockatiel: love you too babe uwu

grumpy scarf cat: well,

grumpy scarf cat: i'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof for that one.

screeching cockatiel: Nuuuuuuu, how will me Hitoshi and Ayane ever survive without you!?

grumpy scarf cat: tru tru

grumpy scarf cat: I'll take Hitoshi with me.

screeching cockatiel: you wouldn't dare!

grumpy scarf cat: again tru tru

2:24 AM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: yeet yeet bitch he finally asleep [pic of Hitoshi asleep against Aizawa's side with Ayane asleep between them]

chaotic goth gay: that's perfect.

chaotic goth gay has changed their name to yeet yeet bitch

yeet yeet bitch: thank boi me sleep now

yeet yeet bitch is offline

4:14 AM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: so anyway I'm ready to yeet our dad into the sun but that's too good for him

chaoticdisastergay: oh worm???? same hat??? could stand to snow his eyes out first tho

immafirinmahlaser: why y'all puttin ur father on blast in the main chat?

WHERE?: wait, where? oh fuck wrong one Touya, wrong one! mayday mayday

SmolMight: I was summoned my the word mayday what happened

SmolMight: oh

SmolMight: well then

lostmymarbles: Dear? Please lay down? I was comfortable?

chaoticdisastergay: well, speaking of tmi, I thought it was just a bathroom run but turns out my monthly came a week early, Atsu. I'm coming back.

WHERE?: that was a long time in the bathroom but okay.

lostmymarbles: Yeah, almost an hour. I'm lonely, the bed feels cold without you, snowdrop!

chaoticdisastergay: I had to shower over in the 1a dorms too, calm down.

lostmymarbles: Kay, come back to bed, I wanna cuddle.

SmolMight: Such precious. Most pure. We have been blessed with witnessing this couple be cute.

WHERE?: so anNYway, Touya, you goin back to the family chat?

chaoticgaydisaster: yee

4:30 AM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

vulpix: anygay. still wanna yeet our dad into the sun but it'd still be too good for him.

lapis: I??? feel that????? wtf???????

thermostat: oh? a mood? in this good household?

wine: i really just want to go back to sleep but the brain machine broke i'm woke

vulpix: oh worm?

thermostat: anyway gotta actually get outta bed soon, drop off your girls at daycare, get mine to school, and go to work.

lapis: fine, gonna go with ya

thermostat: mhmmmm sure you are, you're gonna fall asleep in 20 minutes Natsuo.

lapis: that may be but i'll at least try

thermostat: doubt

thermostat is offline

8:24 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: so anyway tea apparently shoto and touya are going home all next week

princessbubblegumknockoff: oh? drama?

WHERE?: family visit no drama

chaoticgaydisaster: just visiting our family

SmolMight: so anygay Aizawa told us we have someone special visiting a1 today for class!

Spider-Man: I wonder who it is!

Dadzawa: toshi cmon I gotta get to class and drop you off like a gay goth god of insomniac children

exhausted: hol up im eating still

exhausted is offline

Dadzawa is offline

cena: well, no answers from them i guess

Emergency Exit: Everyone, please get off your phones in class!

9:37 AM

We Are Number One™

itsmeyaboy: so who was it that came to your class?

TheGreatCreator: The Big Three of UA

itsmeyaboy: huh. we had Hawks, Ryukyu, and Mirko

Iron Man: The Three Greats of UA

HopeSummers: We win.

SmolMight: Meh, we both got good people to teach us.

HopeSummers: Valid, carry on.

2:28 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

gotta go fast: so anyway, am i ever gonna get told why there's someone named speechtotext in this chatroom and who all they are?

kazoo cowboy: That's Majima with the support course.

needalegup?: he couldn't figure out how to work his phone with his fingers when we first made this chat and he used speech to text a lot.

goth portals: we used to get a lot of text messages where Hatsume had spoken over him and it became too much of a meme so Nemuri changed his name to speechtotext.

gotta go fast: understandable, have a nice day.

7:24 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: um guys all of floor five is frozen what happened?

Galvan: the girls' side isn't but it's getting cold over here

GuyFieriIsGod: My door is frozen shut.

Spider-Man: Todoroki or Yukimura must have had a nightmare again

TheGreatCreator: Does this happen often?

Spider-Man: more than you'd believe.

GuyFieriIsGod: Does anyone have an ice pick?

Galvan: i'm going downstairs before it spreads

TheGreatCreator: That's a good idea, Tsu, we don't want you getting too cold and hibernating.

WHAT?: wow

Spider-Man: wow? just wow? dude, help us!

WHAT?: ...

WHAT?: perish.

baby shark: I'm coming!

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: KIRISHIMA IS A GODSEND

GuyFieriIsGod: He got us out.

TheGreatCreator: It was easier because Todoroki likely melted it.

GuyFieriIsGod: Anyway, now that we're free, I'm making breakfast if anyone wants any. 1b and Shinsou included

WHAT?: wow

cena: Is Bakugo okay?

SmolMight: Yeah, that's just his morning brain. That happens if he gets less than an hour of sleep. He kinda short circuits for about an hour.

Pichu: excellent. thank you for this knowledge.

princessbubblegumknockoff: sometimes I question if your have a death wish.

Pichu: a death wish to get him to hug me and tell me i'm cute dammit!

Pichu is offline

baby shark: a very pure death wish. we don't deserve you denki!

WHERE?: It's been made apparent to me that I froze the fifth floor and I'm sorry.

chaoticgaydisaster: and I made enough snow it was practically snowmen

princessbubblegumknockoff: THEY RISE!

WHERE?: too early for this i need a pot of coffee

chaoticgaydisaster: mood but also gimme half dammit

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

[dinosaurfucker]

Someone please snipe me... take me tf out... migrsines are too much

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

[casualhottubnacho]

an excerpt from a chatfic i'm writing

Twitter

Hammer and Dickle {√}

@USSR

@Japan 3 am, 7/11 parking lot, boring, oregon, usa, bring your battle axe and a box of matches, be fully prepared to meet god face-to-face.

Viewing Comments:

neeneepapa @oksweaty

@USSR the owner of this account: *brandon rogers voice* Donovan! Meet me on my island at 5 O'clock. Pack my battleaxe and my poetry and be prepared to abandon your religion.

ugh @lordie

@USSR okay but why tf did they pick boring oregon of all places.

sit on my face @lickmybaugette

@USSR vibe check

Furry @Japan

@USSR why do i need matches. also if ur not actually there and i just spent money on a plane ticket i stg im gonna break your teeth

[Image: A crisp picture of the clouds and deep twilight sky outside of a plane window.]

│

│ Hammer and Dickle @USSR

│@Japan you need matches because we're going to set our weapons on fire like civilized people. im bringing the gasoline. meri is gonna spectate. also.

[Image: A slightly blurry image- The photographer was clearly laughing- of a man in a heavy winter coat squatting underneath a "Welcome to Boring, Oregon" sign. His skin is bright red, and an eyepatch with a hammer and sickle is over his right eye. His hand is below his waist, making an "Okay" sign.]

│

│ Furry @Japan

│@USSR I don't trust him to spectate. he'll probably be biased towards you, smh.

│

│ Homosexual Homosapien @America

│@Japan girl no. beat his ass please and thank u.

Furry {√}

@Japan

they didn't let me bring my battleaxe on the plane smh. anyone know of any... like... battle axe stores in oregon,,, or,,,,

Viewing Comments

errebody @rockyobody

@Japan i gotchu fam. there's a store in kelso (near boring) that sells antique weapons and junk. im sure there's a battle axe in there somewhere

│

│ Furry @Japan

│@rockyobody there better be. im coming for you if there isnt

│

│ errebody @rockyobody

│@Japan gay fear

Someone Please Snipe Me {√}

@Germany

In honor of my friend @Japan going to fight one of my least favorite people in the world, I have opted to pressure her into live-streaming her Totally Radical Super Cool™ Fight on Twitch. Uhhhh here's a link I guess: Link

Viewing Comments

Furry @Japan

@Germany "pressure" is right. little rat said he'd send his boyfriend after me if i didn't do what i wanted. i would like to keep my ankles, so i complied.

│

│ Kurwa @Poland

│@Japan I hate you too boo xoxo

Furry {√}

@Japan

insert funny text here

[Images: The first image is of the "Welcome to Boring, Oregon" sign. The second image is off a pair of black sneakers kicking a pair of footprints in the dirt underneath the sign. The third image is of a woman in a full black outfit -Black shoes, black jeans, black hoodie, and black beanie- sitting on the ground in the same spot where the man from earlier was. Both middle fingers are straight up, though there is a wide grin on her face.]

~~~~~~~~~

[A Twitch stream comes to life. On the screen, a pair of black-sneaker-covered feet is quickly striding down a paved road. "Kon'nichiwa," A high-pitched voice begins, "And welcome to... Hell." The camera flicks upwards sharply, showing a neon-lit 7/11 gas station, sharply outlined against the pitch-black night sky. There are only two cars in the parking lot. One is a dirty red convertible Jeep in the employee's area; The other is a nondescript black car with the headlights still on and the engine still running.

The camera flips views. We're now met with a worm's-eye view of a snowy white face with a single red circle in the center. Bright yellow eyes sparkle with mirth as the woman fights back a grin. "So, for anyone who isn't aware, here's a summary of what's about to go down. My name is Japan, I'm an anthropomorphic country, and I'm about to absolutely destroy one of my fellow nations. Well, he's not a nation anymore, but still. He called me a name in the group chat, so I called him Old Man, so he took the obvious route and challenged me to a duel in a 7/11 parking lot. Ya'know, like you do."

Japan shakes her head and giggles. "Also, thank you oh so very much, Twitter user "rockyobody", for informing me of the antique weaponry shop in Kelso. They did indeed carry battle-axes." To punctuate her statement, Japan reaches over her shoulder and lifts the weapon attached to her back out of its holder by a few inches. "I have dubbed my newfound traveling companion Jerry, and he will take many a life in his time on this Earth."

A new voice cuts through the autumn air, strong and deep. "Did you bring the matches, девочка?" They demand. Japan changes the camera once again. Leaning against the black car are two men- One is short and chunky, with round cheeks and long, fluffy hair. 7 red stripes and 6 white, broken only by a square of blue dotted with stars, are emblazed on his face. A white hoodie with the words Designated Peacekeeper is quickly thrown onto him when he sees Japan approach. He flashes her a smile and raises one hand in a wave.

The other man is incredibly tall, almost unnaturally so. A long, military green winter coat hangs loosely from his body- It obviously used to fit him a lot better, maybe when he was wider, or more muscular. His face is scarred and weather-beaten, a leather eyepatch over his right eye. A hammer and sickle, golden and gleaming, sits neatly in the center of the leather. A fluffy brown ushanka is slightly lopsided on his head.

"Well?" He questions. He was the one who spoke before; A harsh accent cuts through his words.

Japan responds by raising a small box of matches in front of the camera. "I gotch'yo damn matches, 老人." She snarks back. The taller man raises a single eyebrow and pushes himself off of the car. "'Meri, pop the trunk," He demands. 'Meri', looking taken aback, steps away from the car and crosses his arm. "Do it'cha self, ya lazy bastard."

Despite the insults, his companion gives him a warm smile and slips around the back of the car. Japan joins them in the parking lot before he comes back around. "So, Ame, he really managed to rope you into moderating this?" She gestures to his hoodie. He chuckles light-heartedly and nods. "Yeah. You wouldn't believe the things he told me when I originally declined."

Japan snorts. "I can believe a lot of things, America."

"At first it was the regular bouts of loving insults, but then it dissolved into really weird nicknames."

"Like?"

"Like 'My little biscuit and gravy'."

"...What?"

America just laughs and waves away the question. "What's taking you so long, sugah?" He drawls, twisting at an odd angle to lean back and glance at the trunk of the car. There's a moment of silence before the man he's addressing mutters, "My... weapon... maybe a bit stuck."

Japan and America both giggle to each other for a few heartbeats before America cooes, "Does this mean we're going home, dear?" The slightly angry response is immediate. "Absolutely not, дорогой," The man spits, appearing at Japan's shoulder. "'Proper edicit', as you so often say, dictates that, as the man who called for the duel, I am not allowed to back out, even if my sword is stuck in the trunk."

"You made me bring a whole fuckin' axe when you get a sword? Sov, my good man, you are an ass."

'Sov' chortles and pats Japan on the head. "Such is life, девочка. You would have an unfair advantage if I let you bring what you wanted. You have no experience with a battle-axe; I have no experience with a sword. It is therefore a fair fight." He ruffles her hair a bit before turning back to America. "In all seriousness, the sword is probably tearing up the fabric on the inside of your trunk." He announces. America swears in a few different languages as he sprints to the other end of his car.

There's a small chime as the door to the 7/11 opens. A pimple-faced teenager peeks his head out. "Hey, uhm- I have no idea what's happening right now, but, uh... I don't think you guys are allowed to have weapons on the property." He nods towards America, who's struggling to rip the sword of out the spot where it's lodged itself in his trunk.

Japan quirks a brow and crosses her arms. Her phone goes a bit lopsided as she does so. "Oh?" Is all she says. She could possibly look intimidating, but the effect, evidently, isn't very strong, as the teen gives her an unamused look. "Yeah. I could possibly over-look that fact if you guys were to, like... scare away any customers who try to approach for a little bit, though..." He trails off and slips back inside the store. Japan scoffs. "Rude."

There's a loud yell of "Fuck!" from the next to where America should be- He's currently on the ground, a sword in his lap. "You're paying for the repairs to my poor car," He snaps, gesturing to the bits of fabric stuck to the sword's blade. Sov's face softens a bit. "I was planning on doing just that," He remarks, moving to help America to his feet. The Westerner blows a bit of hair out of his face once he's on his feet. "This had better be worth it."

"Oh, it will be," Sov says, the steely look returning to him. He picks up the blade clumsily and holds it with clear inexperience. America sighs softly and squeezes his eyes shut for just a moment. "God, this is gonna be hard to watch. You can't even hold the sword right." 

Sov looks confused. "There's a wrong way to hold a sword?"

"There's a wrong way to do everything, hon."

Japan grins with a sickly-sweetness and sets her phone onto a newspaper box, positioning it to take in the whole parking lot. She steps onto the far right, Sov standing opposite her on the other side. America scurries over to in-between the gas pumps, a chunk of fabric tied to a stick clutched in his hand. "Alright, I want to see a fuckin' dirty fight," He begins, looking first at Japan, then at Sov. "Frickin' bite each other if you have to. I want to see some blood. Japan, you marked your stream as mature, right?"

"Uh..."

"Dumbass, go do that."

Japan reluctantly complies, marching over to her phone. "Alright, I'm gonna stop the stream and start up a new one marked mature. If you want to watch the actual fight, you'll need to go to that one. See you in a few seconds, lads."

The stream ends]

[A new stream opens up on the parking lot again. Japan is back in her original spot, standing rather cockily, her arms crossed behind her back, her spine straight, slightly tip-toed. America clears his throat. "Alright, like I said earlier- Dirty fight. Nothing is illegal, aside from injuring anyone or anything that isn't your opponent. That includes me, the 7/11 worker, an animal that passes by, a gas pump, a tire on a car, anything."

"Fighters, get ready."

Japan suddenly smirks and slips the battle-axe into her hands with ease. "It was bold of you to assume I had no experience with a battle-axe before, Sov." She comments, getting into an offensive stance. Sov goes slack for a moment before resuming his own way of standing with renewed vigor. "...This is fine," He mutters distractedly. Japan's grin only widens.

"And... Go!"

America flicks his flag down, and the fight begins. Japan shoots forward first, swinging in a downward slope towards Sov's legs. Sov jumps backward and jolts his arms into action, barely managing to block Japan's next move. He starts to loudly swear to himself as he continued to struggle to go on the defensive, cursing himself, the ground, the sky, Japan, and even America. "Сукин сын!" He yelps as Japan spins on her heel, around him, and cuts through the fabric of his coat, through to his thigh. The green starts to turn red as the wound begins to bleed.

Sov just shrugs off the coat and tosses it aside. Underneath, he's wearing a black turtleneck and dark grey jeans, as well as black leather boots that stop just below his knees. America lets out a low whistle.

Japan laughs a bit and starts to jog backwards, towards her original spot. "Bad move, 老人," She snarks. Sov growls a bit and bolts after her. She slips past each of his swings like sand through someone's fingers, leading him in a circle before booking it back towards America's car. The Westerner yelps in fear for his vehicle, but Japan emerges from behind it not a moment later, a jug of gasoline in her hands. She runs away from the parking lot and out into the darkness.

"Мошенника!" Sov yells, coming to a stop. He stands there for a moment, panting, before a bright flash from the opposite end of the parking lot has him spinning and raising his sword in defense. Japan appears in the black, her weapon now (quite literally) dripping with flames as she spits on a match and puts it out. "Let's get this party started," She hisses, hefting her axe. The flaming gasoline seems to not affect her as she grips the blazing handle and charges at Sov.

Her opponent stumbles in an attempt to get away, cursing in an odd mix of English, Russian, and, occasionally, Chinese, almost dropping his weapon with how quickly he's attempting to block her attacks.

"Y'know," Japan chokes out, beads of sweat running down her skin, causing her hair to stick to the back of her neck, "I'm glad I put my phone on silent beforehand. If- If it was on vibrate, I can imagine it would have vibrated off of the stand by now."She finishes her sentence with a grunt and her axe makes contact with Sov's arm, causing the man to let out a small noise of pain. Japan wretches herself back, tripping over her own feet from the weight of the weapon. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Sov mutters, clutching at his arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Japan smirks. "Had enough?"

"You wish, Potter," America chuckles to himself.

"What is this, a porno?" Sov spits.

Japan starts to giggle as she momentarily drops her axe. "God, this is tiring, I haven't fought anyone in a while."

Sov makes an attempt to lift his sword, but gasps as his wounded arm seizes up. "Shit, Japan- Okay. We're both tired. I'm bleeding out of my ass and my arm. Are- Will you hold it against me if I... Surrender, I suppose? I'm far too old and sick for this."

Japan stands in silence for a few seconds before sighing heavily and nodding. She plops down onto the ground rather suddenly, squeezing her eyes shut. "I won't hold it against you."

"Good," Sov grunts, sitting down as well. America pauses before letting out a long, dramatic groan and waving his flag. "Fight's over, I suppose," He whines, marching over to Sov. "That was anti-climactic as balls," He mutters as soon as he's close enough to his friend. Sov nods distractedly. "Indeed it was. Be glad she didn't kill me- Then you'd have to explain a dead body to the poor boy in the store."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about him."

"Hah, same."

The rest of the stream passes in relative silence as Japan sits on the pavement to rest. America is bandaging Sov's arm, muttering insults as well as cutesy nicknames as he does so. After around ten or so minutes of mostly nothing, Japan slides her gaze over to her phone, makes a small noise of surprise, hauls herself to her feet, strides over, and ends the stream.]

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 5 Part 1

- ook the episode highlights are making me go O.O; for the ladies so let’s see what happens eh?

- as always, Mr fruit is our lovely opening blueberry as Kun (I think) goes over how we can vote for our favorite trainees

- I so badly want to try the Fruit Milk Drink so if anyone knows how I can get that in the midwest states drop a line lmao

- also I know i’m posting this after but happy belated birthday Lisa!!!!  i’m very proud of you and all of the things you’ve achieved!

- was that girl holding a tinie Kun doll???  the legend jumped out

- her, not kun lakdjf;akldsjfakl

- whomst is this next to the lovely ella

- LISAAAAAA

- ELLA YOU LOOK FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

- Yoga Lin is so soft spoken but based on their responses i’m assuming he’s well known

- vegetable salad omg that is so cute

- YO!

- i’m v queer and kin, Lisa, and ella are severely testing my attention span rn T.T

- lmao i love that only ella and yoga and kun have to stay

- aaaaahhhhh leggo frahnm’s group!

- lol do y’all think that when ella mentioned the drink someone behind the camera where the girls were said “take a fucking sip babes”

-  all;dajd;lkf they’re me when i have to compliment someone

- yoga’s outfit pops tf off

- why does he have the same attitude as kun rn when talking to them alkdjfa;lkdsjfa

- wow this is  a plug.

- frhanm is that supportive group picker i want her to compliment me please

- oh i forgot to say what I'm eating!  it’s (not to sound too Pinoy) boy bawang chichacorn garlic flavored thank you

- anyway

- “we need to pass loveliness and warmth to others”  love that for them

- i think she would be a good leader ngl at least from her energies here

- this is so cute i love this little montage

- yan xia literally shut off her emotions so fast after losing the mic omg how incredible

- Zoe is so tinie!!!!

- so they really did call that group hickey, huh?

- this is very cute introductions i can’t wait to see the stage

- frhanm.  that’s it.  taht’s the comment

- omg that little peace sign scissors thing was adorable i loved it

- they look like a chorus of angels what the fukc

- wow i like when they’re all singing together their voices really mesh nicely

- Mr lin omg what a compliment wowowowoww

- HE DID THE HAND THING I TOLD YOU IT WAS ICONIC ELLA DID TOO 

- KUNNNNNN PLEASE DO IT

- HE’S SO BAD AT HAVING TO DO CUTE THINGS BABY BOYASLFIWEGFPOQIRWHG POQIUEHTR THAT WAS SO BAD I LOVE HIM WHAT A DORK

- frahnm really is like a leader already incredible

- that is an incredible distance between the last and second to last

- HOLY SNIPES IN THE HUNDREDS THAT QYUICK

- yessss we are impressed ma’am

- wow ok this is getting v emotional v quick?  i love that they have such strong bonds already

- i really like this group together

- love this montage of them!!  i hope in the future when ppl make those (un)helpful guides for the final nine that some of these gals are in that group !!!

- ok dance team time

- wow this looks like it’ll be an interesting and intense dance

- i love the worker alkdsfja;lkdsfj he looks so confused bitch meeee toooo

- I'm the two girls putting on makeup (k Lu looks so pretty and Xin is so iconic)

- Lisa looks so confused but i love her so its fine

- al;skdjfa;lkdsjf the hand binoculars

- is this where Lisa comes for blood please???

- please come for blood

- hhhoooop!  it’s not blood blood but there are some bruising

- and her lil squinty smile after!  I'm in love

- i forgot that kiki was the center aldkfja I'm sorry my love

- Lu is an inspiration wow 

- oh i like their outfits a lot

- their outfits and their confidence give me suju “shirt” w/the black and white outfits vibes

- space shuttle??  i love that for her

- kun is trying so hard to show that he’s not amused by this adlkas

- alksdjf;laksdjf bITCH KUN IS MAKING ME DIEEEEE

- jenny zeng has that effortless cool vibe on stage

- I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY

- this dance tho is very well executed i really like how they’ve made it their own

- the eye contact is a .  lot.

- i also really like the light staging in this as well

- I'm also them screaming thank you

- wow miss kiki with the kick to the camera i am.  looking.

- Lisa is so proud yay!

- rap Time rap time rap time!!!!!

- poor Mr jony j they poke so much fun at him aldjfaldksjf

- aaahh he looks so cool walking to meet the - and now he’s lost mee too sir

- ajdsfoiajdpofihaewoight i’’m so weak at everyone exposing themselves for who wanted to be there and who didnt

- alkdgj hahaha dad is speechless i cannnn’tttt

- i like the actual lyrics of their rap that they put together but it’s uh...obvious for some that they are not rappers

- nineone is staring intently

- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MR JONY J I’M SCREAMING SWEETIE

- yes sir that is an accurate summary of what in fact did happen

- this is honestly the best part of the entire show right now is jony j struggling to explain this

- i really want them to perform well tho!!!  like even tho they didn’t want to be in the group and are not good at rapping i really want them to succeed

- i want to give everyone in that room some nice soup and bread bc i feel like they need some heartening foods after this

- nineone is literally like an exasperated mother alkdfja;lkdfja;lkdjf

- zhuzhentngs has been messaging with me during this and i have learned things about people and i am.   judging.

- oooh two days left i wonder how they’re doing

- AAAAHHHH IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN I AM EXCITEMENT

- “be excited properly” god what a mood

- i love the girl scout uniforms and name Shiny Girls

- sidenote to all of this but kun looks so good ddddayum

- oh their stage is so energetic!  its so cute i love this for them

- even if the actual rapping part of it doesn’t go well, i hope that they had fun

- this is a really fun song

- sa-wa-di-ka!

- she’s so cool ms. shaking please!!!!

- miss Ziyi du i love this for yuo

- ka-mo-ni-ka!!

- AAAHHHH THE LEGEND JUMPED OUT

- i’m really hyped for them i loved this a lot it was so cute!!!

- oh it’s good that jony j was proud especially after seeing how they started originally!!!

- i didn’t say it yet but bunny and shaking’s outfits are super cute

- shaking’s face alkdfja;kdlsfj i loved that she was like ‘bitch what the fuck?”

- wait what I'm confuxed

- it wasn’t who i thought

- whellp that goes to show how much and how well i pay attention aksdjf;alksdjf

- ok let’s see how “Fragments” goes.

- oh ok that’s the end of part one i didn’t haven't realize

[dracolizardlars]

I know no one cares but this is a fucking great Mjolnir defense team if you ask me and I'm very pleased with myself. Just need to get Black Knight to +10 and it'll be perfect.1x Galeforce sweeper duo who takes most of the enemies tf out before they even get near the wall; 3x super high stat total tank (except Raven who's a total glass cannon lol) + super squishy ranged attacker buddy who snipes surviving enemies from over the wall before hiding behind their tank friend