#so common must change depending on where you are

[astarionspocketpussy]

Thought too hard about how I name Tieflings and started considering the role of "common" in DND and how different real life languages might fit in that framework. Needless to say now I want to write an essay but alas. Its midnight.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐔𝐏 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃

summary: when you ask about your boyfriend's home, you get more than you bargained for; but considering it's him, you don't mind, right?

pairing: jade x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, a little suggestive, nonsexual nudity; i’m suffering from a serious case of eel on the brain so you must suffer with me; can’t stop thinking about bioluminescent eel brothers and just mixed that in with jade’s ceremonial robes home screen lines

twisted wonderland masterlist

“I’m captivated by the human custom of changing clothes to suit the occasion,” Jade hummed as deft fingers tied your previously crooked tie and then straightened out the collar of your uniform shirt. “It reminds me of fish who change their scales to match their environment.”

“That sounds like an interesting ability to have,” you chuckled as you combed the long black strand of hair behind his ear, mesmerised by the way the ambient light of the nearly empty Mostro Lounge reflected in his heterochromic eyes. Even with him sitting down and you standing between his legs, he was tall enough to where you were nearly on eye-level. “I’ve never really thought about it, but I guess mers don’t really wear clothes then?”

“It depends on the mer, really, though accessorising is far more common than what you humans would consider clothes. Those in brighter waters seem to enjoy bejewelling themselves for outings, though it doesn’t serve much of a purpose in the deep.” Jade smiled, though this smile lacked the usual nerve-wrecking edge it held when others were around. When he was satisfied with his work, his hands slid down to rest on your waist. 

“On top of having to learn how to walk, having to wear all these layers of clothing must have felt really restricting,” you said, your hand mapping the path from his jaw down to his shoulder to play with the lapels of his blazer. “Though I have to say, you do look very good in your school uniform.”

“Fufu, you flatter me, my pearl,” the merman chuckled. “Even so, you look much more lovely in anything you wear. I’m still not accustomed to clothes with excess fabric. My people aren’t like aquarium fish with their long tail fins, after all.”

“I’m still in awe you managed to pull off this transformation of body and habitat so gracefully,” you thought out loud. “If my living conditions changed so drastically, I would’ve felt like a fish out of water… Quite literally, I guess.”

“Admittedly, those first months were rather rough, that’s true. But the world above the Coral Sea holds so many new experiences, I do not regret my decision.” His hands gently squeezed your sides at that, his eyes never leaving yours. Faintly you wondered whether his people could enrapture humans with just their gaze or if it was your own heart which rendered you defenceless against him.

“I’m also glad you came here, Jade,” you confessed, voice coming out barely above a whisper. This time you couldn’t stop your palms from cupping his cheeks between them as he brought you just close enough to where Azul couldn’t reprimand him for indecency. “Would you mind telling me more about the differences you experienced? I want to learn more about your home, too.”

“Gladly,” the moray smiled at you and it warmed your heart despite the hint of sharp teeth showing through. “Let’s see… Ah, I enjoy looking up at the stars, especially when out in the mountains. It’s a very different feeling than from the ocean and it makes me forget the passage of time, even though I have no particular interest in astrology.”

“Sounds like a date in the making, if you ask me,” you grinned knowingly. Every so often, Jade pestered you into switching clubs to the mountain lovers club and while you had yet to relent, you did join him on hikes frequently.  

“I will hold you to that,” he promised, eyes crinkling at the edges as if he had gotten just what he wanted. Knowing him, he probably had been gunning for exactly that without you noticing. “Now then, what else did I find astounding when I first came here? Most of it are probably minor things to you, like sneezing, cracking your joints or getting a sunburn. Still hearing the first two was very alarming initially. Azul and I thought Floyd had broken a bone.”

“To be fair, sometimes it does sound like something went incredibly wrong when someone cracks their spine or neck,” you shuddered, reminded of the sounds Ace and Deuce had produced in the past which had you halfway to the nurses office already. “A sunburn must have been a nasty surprise though.”

“That it was,” Jade sighed. “There’s hardly anything worse than drying out for a merman, so we didn’t spend much time in the sun anyway. But to learn that a human’s skin is so easily burned by something they need for their health… Speaking of sunlight, considering it does not reach the depths of my home, everything seemed excessively bright up here too in the beginning.”

“Woah, maybe I underestimated how cold and dark your home is, by my standards at least. Like, no sunlight at all? I’d probably freeze,” you laughed, goosebumps forming under your blazer and shirt at the mere thought.

“Hm, I guess it must seem so to you. When I first learnt about the summer temperatures at land I also thought it wouldn’t be bearable,” Jade chuckled, a spark of mischief in his eyes that you couldn’t place yet. “But an environment devoid of light gives way to many new possibilities in which life can evolve. Sure, you have to always be on guard for what’s lurking around the next corner but you also get to appreciate the colourful glow of bioluminescent fish and plants.”

“The first part sounds terrifying, to be quite honest.” You knew he only ever brought these things up to get a reaction out of you but you still wondered what his life was like to be able to say it with such a calm expression. Instead, you chose to focus on something more pleasant. “Though the bioluminescence sounds beautiful. Back home there were beaches where algae turned the sand and waves a fluorescent blue, so I wonder what it would look like underwater.”

“Would you like to see?” Jade asked, one hand sneaking from your waist to intertwine his fingers with yours. Anticipation was almost tangible in the air, yet you couldn’t figure out why for the life you. So despite the hairs on your neck standing on end, you nodded. Immediately, Jade had risen to his full height and was pulling you along through Octavinelle’s winding hallways.

“Jade! Where are we going?” You laughed, not expecting the sudden switch up. Though that was probably on you; despite hiding it much better than his brother, Jade still tended to do only what was fun to him. 

“Oh, you’ll see,” your boyfriend smiled conspiratorially over his shoulder, eyes twinkling like a kid’s on Christmas. He was seriously cute when he got excited about something, even if it meant finding yourself at the end of his teasing more often than not. Considering he was very fond of growing all sorts of things in his terrariums, perhaps he had managed to raise some sort of luminescent plant and this was a ploy for him to gush about his terrariums? 

Confusion set in once more, however, when you walked in a different direction than his room. Sure, you didn’t know the structure of Octavinelle all too well but you’d think you’d find the one room you had visited most in the dorm. Wracking your brain in order to figure out what was happening in his, you almost bumped into the moray as he came to a halt in front  of one of the many doors. You had never been here before, so you braced yourself for any- and everything as he twisted the doorknob.

The first thing you noticed was the smell of salt and the humidity in the air. Then you noted how you couldn’t see anything in the pitch black darkness. As if he heard your thoughts, a small, dim light flickered on above, revealing tiled floors leading up to a large pool. Of course Octavinelle would have a pool of this size. 

Following Jade to the edge of the pool, you peered into the water to find only your reflection staring back at you from the water, the lack of light turning it from clear to near intransparent.

“Seems kinda of irresponsible to cultivate plants or fish in a school swimming pool, don’t you think?” You voiced your doubts as you remembered why you came here in the first place. “How deep is this thing anyway? I can’t see anything in there.”

“Who said anything about fish or plants?” Jade’s chuckle reverberated around the room from behind you and when you turned to see what was so funny, you saw him neatly folding his uniform blazer before starting to unbutton his shirt.

“Wait, hold on.” You held up your hands as you tried putting one and one together, just to end up at three. “Not that I particularly mind where this is going but what’s happening right now?”

There was a shit-eating grin stretching across Jade’s lips and revealing his sharp teeth as he shrugged off his shirt, sauntering over to where you were standing as he slipped his gloves off. 

“Didn’t you say you wanted to see bioluminescence for yourself?” At his newfound proximity, you quickly averted your eyes from his swimmer’s body, to feign at least some form of decency, which seemed to amuse him even more. “Have I never told you that my people possess a form of bioluminescence ourselves?”

“You conveniently forgot to mention that.”

“An oversight on my part, my apologies,” Jade hummed, a hand placed over his heart, sounding not sorry at all.

“That aside, it’s not like I brought any swimwear,” you sighed, looking at his eyes and decidedly nowhere else. “Nor can I breathe or open my eyes in saltwater.”

Out of thin air, seemingly, Jade procured a small phial of shimmering liquid; the same one Azul had given to you when you went to the Coral Sea. At his unreadable smile, you raised an eyebrow but nonetheless took the potion from him. “How much of this did you plan out?”

“Fufu, do you really think I would carefully steer a conversation a certain way just to give me an excuse to bring you here?” When your answer was a resounding ‘yes’, he grinned even wider. “I see, this is the impression you have of me.”

“Also, this still doesn’t solve our first predicament,” you reminded him, yet already finding your resolve to deny him weakening. Damn the effect he had on you.

“I can’t see the predicament you speak of at all,” Jade mused, hands landing on your hips again as his fingers pinched the fabric of your uniform. “Perhaps this is a good chance for you to experience how a merperson would feel, swimming freely without any restrictive layers. You were so eager to learn earlier.”

“Jade Leech, are you suggesting I go skinny dipping in a public college pool?” You only received a closed-eye smile as a response as his hands tugged more of your shirt out of your pants. “I can’t believe you. And I can’t believe myself for going along with this…”

The vice housewarden was more than okay with undoing his former handiwork and helping you out of your tie, blazer and shirt. When it was time to remove the rest of your clothes, he left you to your own devices to do the same. For a second you contemplated leaving on your underwear but decided against it at the thought of having to walk back to your dorm with it either soaked or missing.

A splash behind you drew your attention as you draped your last article of clothing over the back of a chair you had found and you chugged down the potion, then ambled over to the pool’s edge again. Dipping your toes in, you breathed a sigh of relief when the water wasn’t too frigid, yet still settled for sitting down and hanging your legs in first.

After a minute or so of acclimating to the temperature, you wondered where your boyfriend had gone, unable to see anything in the dark water. Just then, a cold hand wrapped around your ankle. Despite knowing what -or rather who- it was, you still jerked your leg upwards, but it wasn’t like you got very far, Jade’s strength keeping you exactly where you were. A pair of mismatched eyes stared at you from right under the surface before Jade’s head emerged and broke through the water’s surface. 

“Looks like I caught myself a pearl,” he mused before gliding his webbed fingers up your bare claves, sending a jolt up your spine, but not from the coldness. Crossing his arms over your knees, he laid his head down on them so he could look at you properly, his bare chest resting against your legs. If it weren’t for the long shadow of his tail moving right under the water’s surface, he would have reminded you of an overgrown housecat.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do now?” You played along, running your hand through his wet, teal hair and gently caressing the fins where his ears would be. Sighing under your touch, his long nails absentmindedly traced over your thighs, careful not to  hurt you. “Please don’t eat me.”

Cracking his left eye open at your teasing, he pressed a lingering kiss above your knee, his teeth lightly gracing the skin there as he pulled away. Definitely not enough to hurt in any way, but enough to remind you of the danger he could pose; a notion that sent adrenaline racing through your body for all the wrong reasons. He winked at you, maybe as a promise for later. “We’ll see about that.”

As he parted from you, he pushed himself up in a display of awe-inspiring core strength and pulled you against him by your waist and thighs, taking you with him as he slowly sank under the surface again. Your hands tried finding purchase on his shoulders, yet continued to slip over the slick covering his skin. Jade, however, had no difficulties holding on to you.

On instinct you had closed your eyes and held your breath as you submerged but the careful caress of a thumb over your cheekbone prompted you to open them and take a tentative lungful of air. Just as back in the Coral Sea, the sensation was weird and unfamiliar but you didn’t drown, which you noted down as a pro.

Whatever you wanted to say died on your tongue as you looked at Jade. Bright spots glowed on his chest and the stripes running over his ribs glowed in an equally stunning teal. Backing up so he was a good arm’s length away, you studied the rest of him, finding that the stripes over his hips as well as clusters of spots on his arms and fins all seemed to be luminescent.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him, yet he still pulled you flush against his torso again. Without much hesitation you started tracing the constellations you could reach. “They’re like stars.”

The moray was glad you couldn’t see his face from your position for an uncharacteristically genuine expression of shock decorated his face. Nobody back at home had ever complimented him so genuinely without any ulterior motives. Yes, he had been the one who instigated this little stunt but he hadn’t factored in that you always managed to tug on his heartstrings in the end. At first, he had been a little wary, wondering what you thought about his merform, especially after he had chased you around the sea like this before, but he realised he shouldn’t have worried.

“And you flatter me yet again,” he chuckled instead, tone and expression back to his usual show of amusement. Still, he looped his long tail around your middle once as his hands wandered over your curves and stroked along your skin that was so much more delicate compared to his. “Should I perhaps be wary that you are lowering my defences for nefarious reasons?”

“Ah and here I was hoping you wouldn't notice,” you sighed, fingertips brushing over the bright spots littering his tail as you held his gaze, his yellow eye almost glowing against the darkness that surrounded you. “Despite all the warnings I’ve intended to steal from you. This, to be precise.”

Maybe it was the fact it was just the two of you down here and the rest of the world was forgotten, that drove you to be so straightforward and sappy. But the rhythmic beating of his heart underneath your palm dispelled any feelings of shyness or awkwardness at the -frankly cliché- confession of affection. 

Not that Jade seemed to mind either. Before you caught up to what was happening he closed the gap between you and pressed his lips against yours. Perhaps taking the potion earlier was inconsequential after all as Jade moved with the intention of robbing you of all air anyway, the webbed fingers on the back of your head keeping you exactly where he wanted you. You cursed your lungs for burning with the need for oxygen, never having yearned for gills as much as in this moment, if it meant you could keep kissing him for just a second longer. Before he parted from you completely he bit down on your bottom lip, not enough to draw blood but just so to leave it tingling from his attention. 

“What a silly little darling,” Jade mused, tracing the shallow indents of his teeth with the pad of his thumb as he drank up the expression on your face. The coil of his tail around you grew just a tad tighter, yet still careful not to hurt you, as a sudden wave of possessiveness washed over him. “Everybody knows you can’t steal what’s already yours.”

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[connanro]

quick reference post for artists because i'm a violinist and Suffer Every Day

the bow:

the bow hold:

there are two main schools of violin bow holding--this article goes into more detail if you're interested--but the general shape is pretty consistent. the thumb and middle finger oppose each other and are where the main weight of the bow is held; other fingers are for balance and direction. the wrist is generally above the bow itself when playing closer to the frog, level in the middle, and lowered near the tip. note the lines below:

(pictured: nicola benedetti, midori, gil shaham, and nicola benedetti) the angle of the arm changes depending on how the violin is positioned and what string is being played.

the violin:

adult performers all use full-sized violins, which have 36 cm (14 inch) bodies.

the violin hold:

the violin is ALWAYS held on the LEFT SIDE. it doesn't matter what your dominant hand is, it still goes ON THE LEFT. this is because the violinist's natural habitat is the orchestra, where they must sit close to other violinists while playing. it prevents stabbing accidents. trust me.

the instrument is held underneath the chin--sometimes with the additional support of a shoulder pad, as you can see in the fourth picture--and away from the centre of the body. note that the instrument looks bigger in the first two pictures (with midori) than it does in the third and fourth (with augustin hadelich and gil shaham). the instrument is the same size; the performers are not. note also that the position of the left hand varies radically in all the pictures i've shown.

you'll sometimes see performers who have a cloth under their chin, like the second midori picture. this has been more common in the past six or so years--i don't use one myself, but it can help prevent irritating the skin on your neck (because when you spend 4+ hours a day rubbing your delicate neck skin on wood, it adds up). whether or not a performer uses a shoulder pad depends both on the length of their neck and personal preference. i have a long neck and consequently have a custom chinrest AND a tall shoulder rest; my professor, who is built similarly to me, uses an extra tall custom chinrest and no shoulder pad.

most importantly: violinists traditionally make really weird faces when we play.

(ray chen and gil shaham)

if you need more reference photos, look up A SPECIFIC VIOLINIST and use those. you can also find SO many live performances on youtube if video is helpful!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

“Excuse me sir! There must someone you’ve confused me for!”

Having Angel withdrawal again sorry guys :/ its time for some uhh… prologue stuff?? I think thats right. Anyway! As I mentioned in this lovely post, when sinners die the time it takes for them to wake up in hell and where they wake up depends on how they died. So for Angels case his body was formed in hell in a hospital bed cause thats where he died so theres like fibres and metal in his body from being formed around a hospital bed! This is also going to go into how regenerating and how injuries work so get ready! Basically whatever your body was originally formed and made out of regenerates eventually, you can have scars if theyre really big (uncommon since the injury usually kills you) but if you die again in hell they go away. Angel gets injured quite a lot and none of these injuries are permanent. That isn’t to say you can heal by killing yourself though! If you do die while injured there may actually be lasting complications since bodies in hell are typically made to regenerate while gravely wounded. Its kind of like a fucked up computer so if you have a broken leg and die by say snapping your neck the body may get confused and regenerate bones and such incorrectly. Or it may not! Its hell who knows! Ill likely figure out a more concrete plan and way that it works but at the moment I enjoy this aspect of hell to not have a random cheat code and instead include some body horror. Its hell so like some stuff is probably confusing right??

Back to Angel, later on around season 1 in the rewrite he also has throat surgery to remove his deformed inner fangs and those DO actually stay gone because certain hospitals in hell (usually expensive ones) have tools from sloth that have been permitted by Lucifer. Similar to how Stolas got that lust portal gem or whatever. Angels body wasn’t supposed to form like that and this is a common thing to happen with sinners that die “long-term” and that sounds confusing but it really just means sinners that die in comatose-esque ways like Angel. His body was dying over the course of months (December to March to be exact) so parts of his body formed over complicated or were underdeveloped like the aforementioned fangs (that were originally meant to form inside of his mouth and not his throat) that would randomly bare themselves and stab his own throat, paralyzing Angel temporarily. Other examples would be parts of his legs and smaller stomach.

This is the surgery Angel got by the way (expenses covered by Velvette but thats a whole other plot line)

On top of this I also wanted to draw Angel’s old markings (at least one of them). Prior to Valentino, Angel looked much similar marking-wise to his original comic designs where he was more purple and yellow with all the fun skulls and stripes. Though, with how contracts work in my rewrite, Angel loses the markings and they change into hearts after his contract and cannot return to normal after his contract is terminated. The same is true for Husker and Niffty. This whole piece is really just supposed to capture to horror of waking up after being comatose and you’re suddenly not yourself anymore and also not where you were for the past months and your entire anatomy is changed. Can you imagine waking up without bones??? In 1947??? Id have a breakdown personally!

I also wanted to use green for that sick gross feeling. Kind of the dread you feel before throwing up, but also to represent Angel’s later feelings of envy that I was unable to present in his design. I really like pink characters in green atmospheres if you can’t tell. If I think of more stuff to add to this post I will, but for now it’s just a lot of lore. Hopefully you all enjoy it!

[the-virgoperspective]

Part 2

Mars is one of the most important planets in a composite chart. In the composite chart, this planet represents a bond’s action and drive, a sexual one and ego-driven one. Mars is considered a malefic planet that comes with challenge no matter which house it is placed in. It can show you where the challenges can lie and what it will take to overcome them and bear the powerful fruits of a developed Mars. Mars can also show how you approach individuality as one and where your expression lies within a relationship. It is very important to review the sign placement and other planets and/or luminaries aspecting Mars, as this will give you a more detailed description of how they will affect the expression of this planet.

I will be using the writings of Robert Hand from his novel “Planets In Composite: Analyzing Human Relations” to describe the meaning and significance of Mars in each composite house. Enjoy! xoo

7H Composite Mars

Mars in the seventh house of the composite chart can indicate that the two of you have a great sense of common purpose. On the other hand, it can mean a total conflict of purpose to the point that you are clearly enemies rather than friends or lovers. Either you will feel that your energies are infinitely better expressed by being together rather than apart, or you will be in an extreme state of conflict with each other. Which way your relationship will work depends to a great extent upon finding a way to express yourselves together, discovering something that you can do together. The seventh is the house of partners and of open enemies. Even at the very worst you will know exactly where you stand with each other.

It is also possible, of course, for these two effects to occur together. This creates a love-hate relationship in which your feelings toward each other oscillate rapidly between loving and hating.

The presence of Mars in this house indicates that the ego-energies within this relationship are very strong. In this situation it is not always easy for one of you to accede to the other’s wishes. Here the martyr game that characterizes so many relationships-with one of you always conceding grudgingly to the other-will not work.

This position requires that the two of you be on an equal footing. Any attempt to place yourself over your partner will make a very tense situation. Give each other plenty of room to find fulfillment within the relationship and also to find something that you can work for together. Then this position of Mars will be a help rather than a hindrance.

8H Composite Mars

Composite Mars in the eighth house indicates that in this relationship the two of you express your egos in a way that forces you to look for new insights into the nature of your ways of living. The eighth house of the horoscope is very complex. It is the house of transformation and of the psychological energies that underlie any major changes within the self. As each of you encounters the other, you will be challenged, not necessarily in a destructive way, but in a way that will make growth necessary.

The eighth house also represents regeneration, and Mars in this house can create a great deal of sexual energy for regeneration of the self through creation of another person. In this relationship, sex will be very important and may even become a vehicle for transforming both of you.

This is the house of joint resources, which makes it very important to a relationship. In some cases there may be conflict between you about money or property. To avoid this problem you both must learn to back down and make sure that petty expressions of the ego are not getting in the way of the relationship. Try not to become too involved with your possessions. If you identify with them too strongly, they will become a source of problems.

9H Composite Mars

Composite Mars in the ninth, the house of the higher mind and long journeys, indicates a strong involvement with ideas, beliefs, and philosophies of life in this relationship. That is, your beliefs are very important to each of you, and being together makes them even more so. If your ideas and attitudes toward life are compatible, you will work very hard together to protect them, and you will try to convince others of the rightness of what you are doing.

If your attitudes are not compatible, you will waste a lot of energy trying to convince each other of them, causing much conflict in the process. The universe is actually large enough to encompass both sets of ideas, as well as the beliefs of those whom you disagree with. But the two of you probably do not realize this, feeling that if other people’s beliefs are true, yours cannot be, and vice versa. You are likely to react to opposition almost as if your lives were in danger. Be careful of this and try to expand your views so that they can encompass those of other people.

This placement of Mars may also indicate that the two of you will do some work together that involves traveling over long distances. Or it can mean working together in some academic or intellectual field.

10H Composite Mars

Mars in the tenth house of the composite chart means that the energy of Mars must be successfully expressed through this relationship, or there is likely to be trouble. The tenth is the house of the ego’s most complete expression, symbolizing what you must do in order to evolve in life. In a composite chart, the tenth house has to do with how well each of you can express your life purpose within the relationship. With Mars in this house, the issue of ego-drives will be even more important than in most relationships.

You must allow each other plenty of room to follow your own paths. It would not be a good idea for one of you to sacrifice your goals in life to order to allow your partner to pursue his or her objectives. Eventually that course of action would become a sore point that could disrupt the relationship. Each of you must be allowed to do your own thing while you are together. Obviously it will be helpful if you have similar ideas about what you wish to do with your lives. Whatever your ambitions, they will be an issue in this relationship.

If you can agree on this issue, the energy of the tenth-house Mars will serve you in good stead. You will approach business or any other joint activity very aggressively and energetically. The results should be excellent. However, take care not to let these energies get out of hand, because they could generate a great deal of opposition from others that would be harmful to your best interests.

11H Composite Mars

Composite Mars in the eleventh house indicates that the two of you will enjoy working with other people in groups. It is an indication that you will derive more satisfaction from your work and energies if you feel that what you are doing is part of a greater whole. Together you will identify with various group projects, movements, and other situations in which the individual ego is subordinated to group expression. It is easier for both of you to completely express your personal energies through your relationship this way.

This position may also indicate that you will try to dominate your friends or associates, which will make matters rather difficult for the two of you. No matter where Mars is located in the chart, you must be careful how you handle its energies so that they do not cause strife and arguments with others.

The eleventh house is also the house of your ideals and hopes in life. Mars in this position indicates that the two of you will work very hard to attain whatever you want out of life. Consequently it is very important that you have similar or at least complementary goals in life. Otherwise, disagreements on this issue are likely to be a great source of conflict.

12H Composite Mars

Composite Mars in the twelfth house makes it absolutely imperative that that two of you understand exactly what you want from this relationship and each other. You must arrive at a conscious understanding and agreement. In most relationships, agreements are made tacitly, not formally stated or written down. But for the two do you it might be very profitable to write out an agreement. By doing so you may discover that you have included all kinds of demands that you never thought you would ask for. If you don’t make the demands explicit, you can be sure that every time one of them is broken it will cause a conflict, even though neither of you will understand exactly why.

The literal meaning of Mars in the twelfth house might be stated as unconscious forms of ego expression. The twelfth house is not really unconscious, but it often indicates signals that you are sending out into the world very strongly but not acknowledging. Whether or not you acknowledge them, you will have to live with the consequences.

It is just the same with a relationship; the twelfth-house Mars signifies that you are putting into the relationship sources of conflict that could weaken it badly. Even worse, it would be very unclear why the problems exist. If you do not make an effort to find out what you really expect of each other, it will be difficult to ascertain why you are having conflicts. You may find that if you verbalize your wants, they will be full of contradictions, double-binds, and contract arrangements that can’t be fulfilled. Only if you take the trouble to examine your expectations closely will it be possible to understand what you really want from each other and whether your needs can be met.

part 1

☌ animated divider by @adornedwithlight ☌

[kirimoochi]

blisters on the wall

₊˚ ᗢ college au! alhaitham x gn! reader.

⤷ when the noise gets too much, he reaches out to catch you.

it was rather common for the average college student to be stressed. it just came with the job, some would say. for every class, you must maintain perfect attendance. every hand raised must be accompanied by irrefutable fact. all while paperwork flood the hall as seasons pass. desks become messier by the day. loose pens and coffee cups left abandoned. liquid having dried into a crude crescent.

from corner to corner, wall to wall, there will always be a new bundle of words waiting to be solved. a new equation. a new theory. a new thesis. a new idea. the world is filled with mysteries that you must uncover and reveal. and it can't be anyone else. not the adults or elders in your life, it must be you. it had always been you.

you forced a smile as your professor raised your hand, presenting your essay in front of the class. sounds of awe echo alongside joyous claps. but your cheeks were beginning to hurt. with teeth clenched so tightly, you thought your gums might split.

you must uphold this standard. if not for yourself, then for your parents, friends, peers, and instructors. eyes will always be on you when the spotlight follows. the weight of the world's future comes down to you. change must be produced. sacrifices must be made. with blood, sweat, and tears, you rip through the fabric of this earth, desperately reaching for answers that could prove you worthy. searching endlessly through space to deliver what you think the people need.

you have a test next week. one that you estimate will take a four days to fully prepare. a paper is also due this friday, cutting your time to study short. your thesis is right around the corner. you're so close to breaking through and showing it to your advisor. your club was depending on you to manage the event organization. you had friends to take care of and spend time with. family to attend to and see. dreams to fantasize. and all this work, you don't know what to do. where to start. where to go. what will you do when everything is done?

where is the end?

in the corner of your eye, you failed to see a familiar, silvered-haired student slowly clapping. unimpressed by the fake smile that you've taped across your face.

he reads you so easily. he knows you like the back of his hand. he knows the bad habit you have of biting the tips of your fingers, the uneven surface having dragged across his skin with a hiss. he knows when you're stressed, you become quieter and distant. replying less and less to his messages, he knows this all too well.

he has always seen you, even if you've never looked back at him. it was like that since you were children. only a few months older than him, he trails behind you in every park. you were one step ahead of him. sports, science, math, english, art. everything.

you were his light.

and yet, he can see you flickering on and off. the radiant brilliance you've always surrounded yourself was beginning to fade in front of his eyes. you were dancing between uneven ships, struggling to keep afloat in this never-ending storm.

when he places a cup of coffee beside you, will you see his support? when he lets you lean your head against his shoulder, will you see the authentic smile he gives as he brushes your hair? when he lets you study at his apartment because you were locked out of your building, will you understand how much he cares?

when your friends approach you, dragging you through the busy mall to buy you new clothes, will you see how much you mean to them? or must you be so blind that you cannot see how brightly everything is when you're here?

how much longer will it take for you to see, what you were doing is enough?

standing in front of your club, you stare in shock as each person raises their voice. shouting over one over the other. arguing over simple plans, something you were in charge of. they were pushing and shoving. screaming insults that they can never take back.

and you try to pull them apart. trying not to lose your voice as theirs grow louder. the buzzing in your ears is an explosive firework that is going off. and your heart was pounding at the forefront of your chest. you could feel it bouncing off of your ribcage and into the back of your throat.

things were going horribly wrong. it was just a plan you pitched in your half asleep state and now everything is plummeting downhill. oh, how you wish you could turn back time and rewrite those words. maybe they wouldn't fight anymore. instead, because of your careless mistake, your desperation to finish your papers, you failed to foresee this.

you feel tears threaten to break your happy facade. oh god, everything is your fault, isn't it? they're fighting because of you.

getting off the floor, you run through the halls. shoving through crowds to search for the familiar pathway to your home. clutching your ears in the hopes of deafening the noise, you pray that someone could take you away from this hell you've created for yourself.

it's all your fault.

if you had more time,

if you were better,

it wouldn't be your fault.

in the blur of tears, you see your friend's face.

"alhaitham!"

you crash into him with a heavy sob as he wraps his arms around you tightly, catching you a mere seconds before your knees buckled. squeezing you close to his heart, he holds his hands over your ears. his name is like a breath of fresh air, your head creeping out from the waves that drown you.

the world goes quiet.

for once in his life, he pleads for you to ignore the flushed pink color of ears and see how much you mean to him. move past these papers and see him. hear him when he tells you that you're enough. feel the warmth in his skin so you know the way he burns for you.

⤷ notes; mainly a vent/comfort post. it feels way more unpolished and raw but i think it sort of matches the overall tone.

[cardentist]

this is all gonna be very disorganized and rambly, but

"the male loneliness epidemic" as a concept is like.

does anybody remember when it was common knowledge in feminist spaces that part of the Point of feminism was recognizing that All groups of people were negatively impacted by sexism?

I Remember the ridiculous "mens rights activist" era. I REMEMBER feminist talking points at the time pointing out that it was Toxic Masculinity that contributed to things like men not being able to be vulnerable with the people who care about them, or men (or Boys) not being taken seriously as rape victims.

and the point of this Wasn't to blame men for their own pain, to blame men for the system that they were negatively impacted by. but to point out how Feminism Was Meant To Help Them. how it was Sexism that needed to be dismantled to address the things that these very ridiculous men were angry at feminism about.

and now it's just like.

not only have people not learned this lesson, it's becoming increasingly Extinct as a concept even within feminist and activist spaces.

I Do find "male loneliness epidemic" silly as a term. it's particularly strange to me that there have been several articles ran about it.

But Ultimately This Would Not Be Necessary If The Climate Was Different.

like. the term is silly, I'm sure the articles are silly. but it is just Objectively True that men are statistically more likely to kill themselves. the exact number fluctuates depending on the study and the years they were conducted, but this has been Consistent for literally decades.

and it just ! feels abjectly cruel to watch people act like acknowledging something Like This is stupid. to watch people lump in men together As A Class and more or less victim blame them.

why should We care about Men when it's Men who are sexist? if Men care so much about being Lonely then then why [screenshot of 4channer]

a conversation on sexism creating a system where men are emotionally isolated, are discouraged from vulnerability, from relying on the people around them emotionally, are discouraged from affection, Is Good Actually.

like ! I really do wish that people didn't take a nose dive into gender essentialism and decide that men and women are just categorically and fundamentally different from each other. that if one suffers then the other must only be the one that inflicts suffering. that to recognize the pain of one is to deny the pain of the other. when that is Literally Not How It Works.

it's not about why Women should care about Men. it's about recognizing a facet of sexism that is negatively impacting PEOPLE and discussing it in the hopes of starting a long term conversation about it. to potentially encourage change and reach the people that need to hear it.

because All People are victims of sexism, All People can enforce sexism, and All People benefit from recognizing these facts and working together to undo the effects of sexism on a wide scale.

and I Dunno. I think it's really telling that some people actively choose Not to show basic human decency and compassion towards people if they can get out of it. if social convention in their circles say that X group of people don't Deserve It.

we live in a time where compassion fatigue is a real issue. where we have to process more atrocities on a daily basis than the human mind was ever meant to handle. but I still feel like human suffering should just like. Matter As A Baseline. it shouldn't be anyone's job to Convince You that it's worth caring about, you should just care about people.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Perhaps Hal Jordan or Clark kent with cuddling. Like just them coming home after a stressed day and you just take care of them the best you can. U offer sex but they don’t want it. Just wanting to be in ur presence for a bit yk yk

Clark Kent x Male reader

Headcanons

Hey nerds, guess who’s not dead. I feel like I am, but apparently, I’m not. Classes are kicking my ass because of very cramped timelines and long days. Who’d have thought becoming a caretaker (idk the English word) would be so difficult. A shorty, but still something I enjoyed writing.

It wasn’t a common occurrence. For Clark to come home so worn out and tired. As a man powered by the sun, a man of steel as he so regularly gets called, its very difficult to him feeling so worn down.

For the most part, the days he comes home in this mood, is not because he’s exhausted physically, but rather mentally. Be it from difficult missions, or just long days at work where he’s talked down too or pushed aside.

There is something soft and cute about him like this, though you would never tell him that. he’s always a little whinier and poutier, but also cuddlier, if that’s even possible for a guy who seems to live off affectionate contact with you.

The first thing Clark does when he comes home from days like this, is kick off whatever he’s wearing and change into something else. Most days its some ancient washed-out sweatshirts from his university days. The kind that’s been washed so many times the logo is mostly gone, and the fabric is worn thin and soft.

Its either that, or if you’re bigger than him, then it’s one of your shirts. That or just a pair of boxers and socks, so he can crawl into your space and flop down there like a big lazy cat.

If possible, Clark tries to crawl up into your shirt, laying his head on your stomach or your chest, ear pressed against your skin to listen to your heart, even if he can easily do that anywhere on the planet. Being so close just puts him at ease.

You cant hear it, but you know he’s purring, even if it’s a frequency you can’t pick up. At this point you can only really rub his back and let him soak up the affection and touch he needs like a wilted flower in the sun.

When he starts pressing featherlight kisses against your torso, you start to think maybe Clark wants something more, since he starts kneading at your sides, like you’re made from playdough, and he wants to mold you into something else.

His hands are so big and strong that you almost feel like playdough, with how insistent his rubbing and kneading can get. His kisses never go beyond soft pecks and barely there brushes of his lips, Clarks head just moving from side under your shirt as he lays on top of your legs.

You don’t need words in a situation like this, your hands becoming more exploratory, rubbing between his shoulders and tapping your fingers at his spine, like he’s a harp you’re plucking the strings off.

The change in your scent must catch his attention too, as Clark lifts his head just enough for you to see him through the collar of it, his eyes soft and glistening. They remind you of marbles, in a way. So shiny and with that clash of shades of blue.

The small downwards pout of his lips and minimal shake of his head is all you need to know, that going farther isn’t what he wants. So, you just give a nod in reply and place a hand on the back of his head, bringing him back down again.

You don’t really understand why he feels so much comfort under your shirt like this. Maybe it’s the enclosed feeling of it all, the shirt, and sometimes blanket you put on top, closing him off from the rest of the world.

Maybe its just the closure, and being surrounded by your scent, which always seems to put him at ease, or rile him up, depending on your own mood.

You don’t hate it though, you never could, not when its Clark. So, instead you just lay back, rubbing your hands slowly up and down his back and Clark nuzzles deeper against you, letting him rest there for as long as he needs.

[tragedybunny]

I Should Tell You - Chapter 3

༺Summary༻

In a fit of guilt, Astarion tries to confess his deception to you. At the last moment, he loses his nerve and ends your relationship with another lie. He's resigned himself to having lost his chance with you forever when once again everything changes. With the two of you out on your own, will he be able to take a chance and tell you everything, and will you forgive him when he does?

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Female Reader

༺Warnings༻ Sexual references

༺Word Count༻ 2484

thanks to @brabblesblog for the beta!

You awoke with a sense of disorientation; where you were sleeping was wrong. Below you was something firm, and cool, and somehow comforting. 

Oh no. Last night came flooding back to you. 

Slowly, your eyes opened and with dawning horror you found that you had been sleeping on Astarion’s shoulder while he meditated peacefully. It was the last place you wanted to be. 

He must have been miserable. Delicately, you lifted your weight off him and backed away across the bed. You should've known better than to accept his offer; Astarion had made it clear that he was uncomfortable with any level of physical intimacy and you slept on him. You were just trying to be nice. The last thing you wanted was to hurt him,but your offer to feed him had backfired and undoubtedly caused your friend to suffer. 

For a moment you paused at the edge of the bed, appreciating how peaceful he looked, how beautiful he was unguarded. If only you could stay in his arms. But the two of you weren't meant to be. 

It was very telling, you thought, that you were sitting here grieving your relationship with Astarion and not with Halsin. You'd been so desperate to get the taste of him off your tongue you'd practically ran into Halsin’s arms. It hadn't been right for either you or Halsin. 

Sighing softly so as not to disturb Astarion, you got up quietly  to look for the pack with your clothes in it. What had happened still stung, but you've had the whole night to think on it and maybe it was for the best; you clearly weren't over Astarion yet. Taking your clothes behind the dressing screen, you made sure Astarion couldn’t see you if he roused himself, determined to not make him any more uncomfortable than you potentially already had. It was probably time to talk to Halsin and to clear the air, then figure out exactly what it was you were going to do with your life now. 

You had known Halsin’s plan didn’t feel right for you,however what you should be doing now that the Netherbrain was dead and there wasn't a tadpole in your head, you hadn't been able to decide. There was no family waiting for you - you've been on your own since you could remember, barely surviving, depending on your magical talents to eke out a living. Hells, your home was a rented room with not much more than some spare clothes, if it even still existed out there in the wake of the battle’s destruction. 

Astarion had brought you a simple shirt and a loose, flowing skirt to dress in this morning;a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. You'd told him once you missed skirts but pants were so much more practical for traveling and layering your enchanted robes over when it came time for possible conflict. 

Fully dressed, you quietly slipped out of the room, careful not to disturb Astarion. Reaching the common room, you took a deep breath before opening the door; Halsin was never one to give himself over to anger, so you hoped there would be a calm discussion to be had. 

Your companions were all unfortunately gathered close to the door, apparently sorting through their various packs and belongings they’ve gathered on the journey. All eyes turned to you, causing you to flush: Gale and Shadowheart with curiosity, Minsc with confusion, and Jaheira looked as though she knew some secret you hadn't figured out yourself. But it was Halsin that made your heart ache as he stared at you with both sadness and longing. 

“G-good morning,” you stammered, your gaze immediately going to your former paramour. “Could we talk?”

“If that is what you wish.” Halsin was as gentle as ever; you were going to miss that. Why couldn’t you want to go with him? Other than last night’s events, he was an ideal partner. 

The two of you left the group behind, going to the corner where your beds sat side by side. Seeing his bed cleared of his belongings, while yours were still scattered where you left them, had a mournful finality to it. “I’m sorry-” you started but were cut off. 

“I feel as though I should be the one apologizing.” Halsin gently took your hand in his. “I did not think about how you would take such a decision being thrust upon you. I am used to deciding for my heart alone.” 

“I need to apologize as well. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. We should’ve talked things out.” 

“Truly, my heart?’ The hope is his voice threatened to break you. 

Softly, but insistently, you pulled your hand from his, and watched as his heart broke all over again. “Losing my temper was wrong, but my decision is right for me. Committing to caring for these refugees, many of them children, is just not something I have in me right now. But if this is your path, then you should take it.” Voice catching on the last syllable, you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. Even if you knew now things would never work out with him, a part of you was going to miss him. 

“I understand,” he said, and you looked at the floor at his words. Halsin was putting on a good show, but for you, the pain was clear. “If this is what you wish, but know you’re always welcome to join me, even as a friend and guest.” 

“That’s very kind of you.” You were suddenly pulled into a tight hug that you returned just as fiercely. This was goodbye, for now at least, and you both knew it. 

When he let go, Halsin looked down at you fondly one last time. “I suppose I should be off. There is much to prepare.” 

With that he withdrew, heading for the door, and you began to pack your things, attempting to organize and sort out what you actually would be using in the future. It would help if you had any idea what you were going to do with yourself. “Where will you go now?” Shadowheart spoke up from behind you, as though she’d read your thoughts and decided to join the conversation.

You dropped your stack of books back onto the table and collapsed onto the mattress beside it. “I don’t know,” you breathed out, finally letting out how lost you were. 

“You could come with us if you want, I was going to escort Gale back to Waterdeep.” Shadowheart had settled next to you, hand resting on your shoulder. “We’re still friends, you know. That didn’t end with the Absolute. If you need us right now, just say.” 

You pulled your fingers through your hair, stalling, and snagging them on a tangle. You’d been in such a hurry that you’d forgotten Astarion had brought your brush in with your other things. Her offer seemed reasonable;at least you wouldn’t be rotting away in Baldur’s Gate. Even Astarion was leaving, heading to the Underdark to check in with the other Spawn. You hadn’t thought much about what you would do when this was all done, too worried you’d actually manage to save yourself and stop the Absolute. Maybe a part of you had resigned yourself to returning to your meager existence, maybe a part of you never believed you would get this far. “I’ll think about it, when are you all leaving?” 

“We’re hoping to handle that mess,” she gestured to the pile Gale was still poking at, “and then get started, probably won’t make it too far today. Hopefully Astarion will take five minutes out of his brooding so we can see him before we leave.” 

“I can go see if he’s awake, to remind him,” you offered. “I need to brush this mess out anyway.” 

Shadowheart gave you a smile, and for the second time you felt like someone was looking into parts of you that you couldn’t see. “I think you probably should do that. Don’t need him to miss us and then complain we’re mean to him.” 

With defeat, you looked at the mess you still hadn’t managed to conquer. “I’ll be back for that, though,” you said, rising from the mattress. 

“You had better be,” she teased, “just because you’re our fearless leader doesn’t mean you get to leave your mess everywhere.” 

The two of you shared a laugh and you waved to the rest of the group on your way out, back down the hall to Astarion’s room. With each step you felt strangely apprehensive. You’d rushed there last night after your argument with Halsin, and hadn’t taken any time to think. Now though, it was strange to be getting so close to Astarion’s private sanctuary. Even if you had promised to remain friends, distance had grown between the two of you; it had grown between Astarion and everyone, but it particularly stung that he pulled away even from you. Even with your relationship with Halsin, a part of you had been dreading the day you would say good-bye to Astarion, and now it was here. If nothing else though, at least you knew he still cared for you as a friend. 

Lightly, you tapped on the door, seeing if he had roused himself from his trance yet. There was a muffled, irritated sounding reply before the door cracked open, Astarion glaring through it for a moment before his expression softened. “Oh, darling, do come in.” 

Stepping back, he opened the door wide and you were able to take the sight of him in, tousled curls, sleepy eyes, rumpled clothing. He still looked devastatingly handsome. Worried about making him uncomfortable with your stare you hurried in, allowing the door to shut behind you. “Now, what can I do for you this morning my-”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, cutting him off. “I know you’re uncomfortable with…certain things and then I went and fell asleep on you.” You’d brought your hands up to gesture wildly, emphasizing your point, and a single spark drifted off your fingertip. Subconsciously, you’d gathered the Weave, and the Wild Magic in your blood threatened to loose itself. 

Cool hands caught yours, grounding you. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I woke you up when I came in, and you very kindly offered me your blood. No hard feelings.”

You could feel the flush building in your cheeks. “If you say so.” You pulled your hands back from his, worried you might lose your ability to speak if he kept holding onto them. “The others wanted me to let you know that they’re leaving soon, and they wanted to come say goodbye.” 

For a moment his face scrunched up and you worried he’d refuse,but he let out an exaggerated breath he didn’t need to and relented. “Fine, I suppose I’ll miss them as well. Probably best for a proper farewell. And what about you, my dear? When do you head off for your next grand adventure?” 

You shrugged, trying to downplay the sensation of being utterly lost. “I would have to figure out what that was first.” 

“Oh,” Astarion looked at you with widened eyes. “I’m sorry, everything has to be a mess for you after what happened.” He sat back on the mattress, gesturing insistently until you joined him. 

“It’s fine, I just can’t figure out what I want to do. Even before this thing with Halsin, we’d talked, but I couldn’t make any decisions.” Probably because you weren’t involved in any of the possibilities.

“Hrm,” Astarion chewed on the noise, thinking, seemingly upset. “So you have no idea what you’re doing and no home in Baldur’s Gate that you’re going to return to.” You nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I don’t suppose you’d care to… and I mean only if you really want to… come to the Underdark with me for a little while?”

Your mind went completely blank. “Y-you want me to come to the Underdark?”

“Of course, I understand it's not really an ideal place for someone who can actually walk in the sun. Forget I asked.” For the first time in so long, Astarion’s armor cracked. You were able to see beyond the sparky aggression he showed the group and the suave charm he saved for you. He seemed so lonely, and a little sad. 

There wasn't anyone or anywhere for him to call his own, either. Sure, he was going to see his “siblings” down there, but they barely got along. It was going to hurt, to be so close to him and still have the feelings you couldn't fight off even with another partner, but maybe this could teach the two of you to be proper friends.  And out of anyone in the group, didn't he deserve some companionship? “I think it's a great idea.” 

Beside you, he practically jumped. “You do?” 

“Absolutely. Another adventure without a worm in my head. An excuse to get out of Baldur’s Gate. The possibility of seeing weird mushroom people again. Sounds perfect.” Torturing myself by being so close to you.

Fidgeting with his fingers, you felt the weight of his gaze land on you and turned to catch his crimson eyes that never failed to captivate you. “Are you sure? There’s seven thousand spawn down there. Not that any are quite as impressive as yours truly, but it will be a bit different from our other companions. Not to mention the usual question of survival in the Underdark.”

“I already said yes, you don’t have to keep persuading me.” 

The slight smile that tugged up the corner of his lips would’ve convinced you to go to a different plane if need be. “I promise if you change your mind, I’ll escort you back.”

“Deal.” For a brief moment, there was silence between the two of you; all of your unsaid words swirled in your mind. 

That night when he’d told you he wasn’t ready for a relationship, you’d been sure your heart was breaking. I don’t want to let you go. The words clawed their way into your throat to die there. If he needed to be alone, that’s what he needed. I think I could have loved you. Trying to keep him would have been to be no better than the master he escaped. 

And it wouldn’t do you any good to lose sight of what he asked for now, no matter how you felt. “I suppose I should go finish packing,” you tore your eyes from his, “after I find my brush.” You cringed at the awkward laugh that followed your words. 

Astarion didn’t move from the bed, and even turned away, though you thought you could still feel him looking at you. Was he regretting his invitation? Was it a kindness he didn’t believe you’d take him up on? “Be ready by dusk.

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[bun3333s]

Yandere MBTI Scaramouche

Cruel Aware Manipulative Strict

note: Using the structure from the wonderful @ddarker-dreams !! Scara is my baby girl and I adore him… so I hope I did him justice. I’m super new to actually writing anything like this, so any feedback or comments are appreciated <3 Note that these headcanons are in regards to pre-Wanderer Scaramouche, quote and image from 'The “Divine Will' story teaser. Mild spoilers for his backstory.

1.2k words

contains: yandere, mental/physical/emotional abuse, kidnapping/confinement, gn reader insert (”you” pronouns used), murder and violence (non-graphic), angst (?)

“My chest will never again be defiled by worldly filth”

Cruel vs Reverent

> He’s akin to a mistreated stray cat, but in that same vein, I do think that inwardly he’s much more fond of you than he’ll ever let show. This really depends on what phase of his life you meet in, and under what circumstances. If you met before the proverbial shit hit the fan, he’s much more likely to hold you with tenderness, near and dear to his heart. Especially with a kind darling, I could see him falling into the reverent category. Inwardly, of course. He would sooner die than let you know about these mushy feelings he has (even if he keeps you on a leash beside him at all times, and anyone with eyes could see that something is happening between you two). Regardless of whether you meet in his ‘softer’ era or not, there’s still a 100% chance he’s going to be a snarky, cold, degrading bastard.

> We all know this man has abandonment issues pro max, and his attitude is part of the way he’s coped. At the core of this, I imagine he holds an incredibly deep-rooted sense of insecurity. From Ei throwing him out for not meeting her standards, to the perceived rejection and betrayal from seemingly everyone else he cared for — to him, he must blame himself. He’s the common denominator. Had he simply never loved these people, he wouldn’t have had to go through all that pain when they left him.

> Then, comes along you. And I just know this man is seething — you’re ruining his way of life with the way your eyes twinkle in the sun and the warmth that floods his chest at your smile. He’s considered going to a professional about that, trying to find any way to avoid the inevitable. Surely that radiant feeling in his chest is what normal people call a fever, right? The electricity running through his veins burning hotter than normal? By the time he realizes his feelings for darling, he’s absolutely pissed. This would just be another point of weakness. More than anything though, he’s mad at himself. He’s mad because he’s been debased to such primal desires, because he’s scared to go through the agony of loss yet again. He’s terrified at the notion of depending on someone else. He swore to never be weak like that again, and that isn’t changing any time soon.

> But at the same time, it doesn’t matter how much he despises you (or rather, the way you make him see himself) because you make this bleak world so much more bearable. The scramble for power is exhausting in and of itself. To go through countless years of pain, experiments, and labor on your own, knowing that developing an attachment to anyone could be tantamount to failure? Excruciating. He has so little left to hold onto in the world, so when you come along, he sinks his claws in so deep it’s as if he’s trying to become one with you. As if your union will wash his sins away and you, his lifeline to heaven. Or maybe simply to a life where he can love again.

> He doesn’t know love without pain, and frankly, he’s not sure which is worse at this point. He’s so afraid you’ll see in him what everyone else did and leave — hold his heart in both hands to shatter — that he’ll never let you get that close in the first place. Scara is even more snappy with his darling than with others; the instinct to bite and scratch and claw at anyone getting too close to him. This, of course, conflicts with a similarly intense desire to hold you, praise you; worship at your altar for giving his life meaning.

> Basically he’s a tsundere but way more sadistic and with a lot of issues. He will verbally abuse you almost every time his mouth opens, and being his darling is tantamount to enrolling in psychological warfare. Absolutely would not shy away from physical punishment either. Definitely has a thing for seeing his marks on you. The fury, self-betrayal, frustration and grief — all of it gets redirected to the unfortunate object of his affections instead.

Aware vs Delusional

> Now, he isn’t some monster without feelings or something like that. He’s just a monster with very repressed feelings. I can imagine Scara actually feeling some remorse, you would just never be able to tell with the glee he possesses when torturing you.

> This goes back to how his cruel treatment is a manifestation of his insecurity again (doesn’t everything about this man?). After a particularly harsh punishment, or maybe just when passively observing your pathetic state, a pang of sorrow hits his chest. He thinks it might be time to look into a new body for himself. One that isn’t quite as… inconvenient. There’s somewhere deep down, hidden in a crack after a particularly brutal battle, where he thinks that he deserves this. He doesn’t deserve to have you; to hold you freely. Yet, he needs you more than anything else. It’s selfish, cruel, pitiful — every negative adjective you could pull from a dictionary. Scara is far past the point of caring much for morality, but it’s you he’s hurting, so it’s only fair that he hurts in silence alongside his beloved. There’s a strange understanding between the two of you. About hurt and love. About pretending to be asleep when he cards lithe fingers through your hair at night, ignoring the soft sounds of something wet hitting the pillows every so often.

> At the end of the day, he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Do you think he doesn’t catch your disdain? The hopeful glances out of windows? Don’t take him for a fool. He’s just a man in love without the luxury of loving. Scara has a multitude of issues, but perhaps unluckily for darling, awareness isn’t one of them. Sometimes you think it might be easier to live if you never saw that twinkle of pity in his eyes, back before you learned to falsify your slumber when he returned in the dead of night. Other times, you hope that twinkle sparks something in his mechanical body and burns this all to ashes.

Manipulative vs Honest

> This is probably the one where Scara isn’t entirely at one end or the other. In terms of emotional manipulation, he’s honest with you for the most part… the issue is that for the rest of the time, he’ll just refuse to answer.

> “why am I here?” “because I want you here.”

> “what do you want from me?” “to stay here.”

> He gets points for being straightforward but loses all of them when he showcases the emotional maturity of a grumpy toddler.

> The lack of emotional maturity and his own raging internal battlefield of emotions is part of the reason why I find it difficult to see him as some sort of manipulator — I’m not entirely sure our little guy has the facilities for that long-term. The bigger reason I struggle to see him as an emotional manipulator is because he’s suffered so much from it. He does, however, omit a large amount of information from darling.

> Now… physical/financial manipulation, threats and violence — these are all on the table. Scara knows he isn’t exactly the epitome of kindness or desirability to you, so how does he capture his darling? Through the previously mentioned means of course!

> Do you have a family or loved ones? Better pray he uses his Fatui connections to only bankrupt instead of massacring them. There isn’t any low Scara wouldn’t stoop to in order to have you in his grasp. He’ll pay off all your family’s debt if you come with him - or better yet - he’ll let them live to see another day! So how about it?

> It doesn’t really matter how you answer, because at the end of the day, he can always resort to brute force.

Strict vs Lenient

> If the abandonment issues didn’t give it away already, this man is neurotic about you — what you do, where you are, where you look, the way you look. It feels as if you aren’t in his line of sight he thinks you’ll disappear. His grip on you is always a bit too firm. Scara holds you like the moment he lets go he’ll wake up and remember that you left too.

> His unrelenting chastising and ‘reminders’ (read: abuse) serve not only to assert total control over you but to reassure himself as well. After all, you can’t leave him if he has total control over your everything.

> He doubts he can truly be your everything like you are to him, so this suffices as a close second. If he can find a way to own everything you do and everything that makes you, you then that can be good enough. It has to be. He can be your everything still; just in a different way.

aHHhh thanks for reading !!! hope you enjoyed <3

[arabellasleopardcoat]

Pyrite - Chapter 1: Gold Crown

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader.

Chapter Summary: During your first week as the Queen's handmaid, you overhear something you shouldn't have.

Warnings: Discussions of death, grief, abortion, and scheming. None of those happen to reader.

A/N: Alysanne Targaryen, you feminist icon. Mostly context.

As you walk towards the Queen's chambers, you fight a yawn. Despite the excitement you feel, you are still tired, unused to waking up as early as this.

So far, you have led the life of a girl. Playing around the gardens with the other children, running errands for your mother. But today, your life will change. You will go from girl to woman.

Today will be one of the most important days of your existence. The only other event that could surpass it will be the day you finally meet the lady you will serve.

It's a labor of love, your mother says. To serve faithfully next to a Queen is to be strong and loyal, but most of all, loving. You will get to know all her secrets, only you will see her bared body, and all its imperfections. You will learn to love this woman as if she were your little sister, for you will be the only one to know her as she is. Past the crown and the jewels, and down to the very mortal flesh that a Targaryen Queen has.

The Red Keep is where your family has served for generations. Your grandmother is full of tales about the cruelty of King Maegor, and his various wives. Your mother has served Queen Alysanne faithfully, ever since both of them were mere girls. You come from a lineage of handmaidens, born to serve the greatest Queens Westeros has ever seen.

In your family, being born a girl is a blessing. When a boy is born, the family weeps for the opportunity lost. Your mother had been the only girl out of her siblings, and now you, an only child, get to learn her trade.

One of your earliest memories comes with being taught to read and write. A handmaiden must know all the recipes for beauty, and create her own. Never for embellishing herself, but rather her lady. Every woman in your family keeps her own book, tailored to the lady she serves. As a child, you dreamed of the day you would be handed your own journal, and today is the day it will finally happen.

You will get to meet Queen Alysanne today. She is the most loved and kind Queen your family has served. Your mother has always spoken highly of her, telling tales of her beauty and grace.

Her story is the story all little girls dream of living. She had married for love, defying her family, and ended up being the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. She had it all, once. Riches, beauty and a loving family. But as of late, you know her life has not been the fairy tale it used to be.

One of her sons, Prince Aemon, passed away a few years ago. The loss of her daughter had made the Queen even sadder and morose, and now, her other son was rumored to be running himself ragged with the responsibilities that came with being Hand. He worked so much, his health was debilitating.

The Queen walked around the Red Keep as if in a stupor. Your mother said that she had left her changed. No longer, the Queen had a thirst for life, nor did she care much about anything. The only thing that had broken her out of her sadness had been the fact that her granddaughter, Rhaenys, had been declared unfit to be heir to the Iron Throne.

“If your Grace truly believes that women lack the wit to rule, plainly you have no further need of me.” The Queen had said to the King, that time. Everyone found her words so surprising, but not you. Your mother had always said she was a champion for women, noble and commoners alike.

The succession issue was not only the royal's, but yours too. On it depended whom you would serve, which Queen you would tend to for the rest of your days.

Prince Aemon left only one heir. Princess Rhaenys, a beautiful woman who inherited her father's eyes. It should be her who should be Queen, your mother says. It's only right. But she has already been passed over already, the King declared Prince Baelor his heir. Now Prince Baelor is weakening, and the issue resurfaces again.

You think that Princess Rhaenys would make for an interesting lady. She is married already and she has a young son. She would be the first Queen in her own right in the history of Westeros and that would make you at least noteworthy to your family history.

The other option is Prince Viserys. Prince Viserys is said to be peaceful and not very gifted with the sword. That's alright, though. He has a brother to do that for him. Prince Viserys is married to a young girl, around your age. Princess Aemma. They are said to love each other very much, despite having married as children. To her, you could be an older sister, you think. She is said to be very kind and royal, despite being an Arryn by birth.

Both of them have their advantages. Prince Viserys would no doubt bring stability, but Princess Rhaenys would implement changes that would surely benefit women.

It would be exciting to be part of such changes. Your mother always remembers fondly her first days as Queen Alysanne’s handmaiden, when she had convinced her husband to abolish First Night. A terrible northern custom that hurt people like you.

It had made waves, your mother had said. The Lords had not wanted to abolish it. But Queen Alysanne had interfered and saved thousands of young girls just like you.

It's difficult to think of the weak old woman laying on her bed as that same fierce Queen. You are allowed in her rooms at sunrise, with your mother and your journal. You watch as she prepares the room to rise her lady, and you sit quietly with the Queen's jewels on your hands and neck. It's one of your new duties, to warm them for your lady.

She looks frail, sleeping between the covers. Aged. Your mother draws the curtains of the room open. In the morning light, antiques and silks shine like jewels. It's ostentatious, and it makes you sick. Only the gowns in this room could feed three or four families for a year.

“It won't be long before now.” Your mother whispers to you. She opens the door and picks up a tray. On it, sits a grapefruit cut in half, eggs, tea, and bread. Your stomach growls. It smells heavenly. Your mother places it on the vanity where you sit, warming your Queen's seat and jewels. It's the worst kind of torture. Your stomach hurts with hunger and you think of your breakfast, a cup of broth that was heavily diluted with water.

As predicted, the Queen slowly starts to stir. She moves, long silver braid whipping around. She has very thin hair, and you wonder how your mother makes up for it. Your journal is ready to note down any tricks she deems to share. You are supposed to note times and other useful things for when the time comes for you to have a lady of your own.

“Good morning, my Queen.” Your mother curtsies, and you hurry to do the same.

“You brought your daughter.” The Queen rasps, eyes still cloudy with sleep. “Come closer.”

Your mothers urges you forward. You obey, unable to believe such an esteemed lady would want to look at you.

“You are a pretty thing.” The Queen says, brushing your cheekbone with her thumb. You lower your eyes, not wanting to offend her by gawking at her. Queen Alyssane's hands are like nothing you've ever felt before, made of the softest velvet. She has never worked a day in her life and it shows. Your mother's hands and yours feel rough by comparison. “Are you married yet?”

“No, my Queen. I wish to settle into my duties first.” You answer, demurely.

“Your duties.” She smiles. “You are a good girl.” Then, to your mother. “I suppose it's not only Rhaenys’s future at stakes, isn't it?”

“It seems like it, my Queen.” Your mother exchanges a look with the Queen. You would never dare gaze upon her like that, but they share a bond after so many years together. Almost a friendship. Or the closest thing to one that a commoner can have with a noble.

“Well. Hopefully, things will speed up soon. I doubt I have many years left, and Jaehaerys…” The distress can be heard in her tone. It makes you feel sad, too. What must it be like to love someone your entire life, and then being parted from them? If you had been in love with someone since you were a child, you wouldn't know how to live without them. It was that fear what had kept the Queen abed. After losing so much, she was afraid to lose even more.

Even if you were not a noble lady, that was a motivation you could understand. Losing your family would devastate you. Fear of it happening again would paralyze you too.

“The King will live longer, your Grace. There is no need to worry.” You said, softly. You weren't too sure it was your place to say so, but your mother's encouraging nod seemed to approve.

“Isn't it? When he insists on her not being Queen. He would rather bypass her rights again instead of naming her Queen.” The Queen said, sharply. Suddenly, she was sitting up straighter on her bed, eyes blazing with fury

“I do not presume to know the King's…” You tried to appease her, but she only became angrier.

“Do you not think it's a sign? Baelor will soon be struck down. I know it. His son is not fit to be King. Rhaenys can rule as well as any man, and she has her husband's support. He rides a dragon too. She also has a strong heir. Why would be Viserys be better?”

“The Lords would…” Your mother interjected, trying to save you from her wrath.

“A cock. He has a cock, and the Lords do too. It is time I show them it doesn't mean what they all think it means.”

And suddenly, Queen Alyssane was alive once more. She got up from her bed and started barking orders to her maidens, you included.

Your mother rushed to clothe her, draping silks over her. The Queen threw them all away, reaching instead for a black dress.

“Get me a quill, girl.” She screamed. “And summon Ser Otto. We have much to talk about.”

So you did. Everyone knew Ser Otto. He was the younger brother of Lord Hightower, and one of the most trusted men in the council. Tall and haughty, he did not take kindly to being summoned in such a way. But once he had a private meeting with Queen Alysanne, his mood greatly improved.

Many more meetings began to take place in the Queen's chambers. Another man had been asked to come and see her. Corlys Velaryon. The Queen said, loudly, that it was about him retaking his position as Master of Ships, but you could tell that was not it.

There was nothing to back your suspicions, though. You were not privy to what happened inside the Queen's chambers, and you only knew so much because you had been tasked with reading outloud her pending tasks each morning.

It was only when Queen Alysanne sent you to pick up some meat pies from the tavern she enjoyed that your suspicions were confirmed.

With your basket and borrowed gold from the Queen, you had gone to the tavern most highborn enjoyed. It was not a real tavern, in your opinion. You had been to a couple of those, with other serving girls and stable boys. Lowborn like you were not allowed here, just as they weren't allowed in the expensive pleasure houses of the Street of Silks. There was no explicit prohibition, but the prices said it all.

What it was, was a good imitation, for young lords to pretend to be having the real experience, and feel adventurous. It was also a good place for seedy meetings among the highborn.

You were making the queue towards the counter to purchase the meat pies, overpriced and made with much better ingredients than any tavern grub when you heard them.

“And you have a daughter, right?”

“A newborn. Alicent.”

At first, you didn't pay much attention, letting the conversation drift over you. It contained nothing out of the ordinary. Just a new father bragging.

“Alicent is a pretty name. Queen Alicent.”

“Laenor is…”

“Barely a few years older than her.”

But then, you realized. You knew those voices! They belonged to the men who often met with the Queen. The one with silver hair was Lord Corlys Velaryon, and he was the husband of Princess Rhaenys. The other one, you could tell, was Ser Otto. There was a third man with them, that you did not recognize. He wore a hood over his head.

“It has a certain ring to it, Hightower.” Lord Corlys laughed.

“We have to move quickly. Before the news spread.” The unknown man said.

“News?” Ser Otto asked, frowning.

“Aemma is pregnant. I fear, if she manages to carry to term, some might prefer Viserys over Rhaenys. If she births a boy…” Lord Corlys grimaced.

“A line of Kings, uninterrupted.” Ser Otto grimaced too.

“She will not birth a boy.” The other man said.

“We can't be too sure about that.”

“I should leave. I have to meet with the Queen in half an hour.” Lord Corlys got up and walked out, passing near you. He spoke the truth. You had read so this morning, on the Queen's itinerary. You tried hard to look very focused on counting your gold coins, despite the Queen having handed you the exact amount.

The silence stretched. Now, you could not hear them as clearly, but you were curious. So you stepped a bit closer and asked the cashier to warm your meat pies, trying to hear more.

“Make sure she does not give birth to a boy.” Ser Otto ordered.

“Trust me. She won't even announce it. I will make sure of it.” The hooded man's voice had a dangerous edge to it.

“We can't have threats to Princess Rhaenys around.”

“And future Queen Alicent, either.” The hooded man replied, his tone turning more teasing. You wondered who this Alicent was, and how they planned to place her on the throne. You did not know any Targaryen by that name.

“That, too. You will be rewarded handsomely, of course.” Ser Otto’s reputation did not indicate him to be humorous, but there was a hint of mirth in his words that could not be faked. He was pleased by the exchange.

“I would like to be Maester of the Red Keep, I think.”

One of the men laughed. The cashier knocked the counter in front of you, annoyed. He was handing you the heated meat pies, and expecting his gold. You paid him without a word. And as you walked towards the exit, bundled pies under your arm, you heard them toast.

“Hear, hear. To Grandmaester Mellos and Otto Hightower, Lord Hand.”

“And baby Queen Alicent.”

“And baby Queen Alicent.”

Your walk back to the castle was troubled. You were smart enough to know the implications of their talk. Did the Queen know? Considering they were meeting outside the Red Keep, it was doubtful. Besides, it didn't fit with what you knew about her. She may have disagreed with the succession, but she would never hurt her granddaughter.

Corlys Velaryon had left before the discussion took place. While as ruthless as his companions, the others seemed wary of involving him. Perhaps because, if the plan was discovered, it would affect Princess Rhaenys claim.

Your mind was racing. You had to tell someone. They were talking about murdering a babe not yet born! Would the Queen believe you? You knew her enough to know that she would not hurt you for speaking, but you doubted she would heed your warning. Instead, she would go straight to Ser Otto. A lowborn girl’s word against the word of a Maester and one of her advisors? The joke told itself.

Your other option was telling the Lord Hand. But Lord Baelor scared you. He was deeply protective of his children after the death of his wife. You didn't know him enough to know he wouldn't murder the messenger.

But you could not keep the memory tucked away either. It burned at you, when you were brushing the Queen's hair. When you were bathing. When you were attempting to fall asleep.

The hooded man said that Princess Aemma would not even get to announce it. Your time was running out. You had to do something.

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

hi!! I have a question if that’s okay!

How is house rivalry at Hogwarts? Is there a lot of house pride/division between the houses?

Also during quidditch season, do people know the players of the teams (kinda like football)? (do people root for individual players?)

I’m so interested in how the vibes would be during quidditch season and if people get really intense into showing house/team/player pride bwjahshd

THANK U FOR SHARING ABOUT YOUR DR YOUR POSTS ARE ALWAYS SO LOVELY TO READ <333

yes of course! i love answering questions and they are always welcome!!

for house rivalry, it is very toned down during the average school day than what it is portrayed in the original series. now that I've gotten into advanced level classes, there are students from every house in my classes and it is very standard to have good friends from every house! the school also has lenient rules about sitting with other houses during meals, and we usually only have to sit with our assigned house during important meals (start of term feast, meals with speeches, etc).

however, when it comes to quidditch, everything gets so crazy. even with the teams in the League, every person usually has a team that they root for (sometimes from where they are born) and it is very common to see students wearing team merchandise or sporting a team pin on their school bag. it can start some great conversation and there are even mini-clubs and friend groups that are formed over the obsession of a certain League team!

quidditch at Hogwarts probably has the wildest division between the teams / houses, but only if your house is playing, usually. for example, the Gryffindor vs Slytherin game (which is the first in the season) is one of the most highly anticipated and conflict inducing games of the season, i'd say. the weeks leading up to this game are full of older students dragging the newer students to the practices to watch, and even those who swear they hate quidditch seem to make time for it. it really joins us all together, and I especially love how in my desired reality the winner sometimes throws a party and everyone is invited. I can't wait for the season to start again so I can experience it firsthand!!

also, there are definitely "quidditch celebrities" at Hogwarts. because the sport is so vital to student life at hogwarts, if you are on the team it is kind of an automatic popularity marker. even the substitute players who don't join in the actual game very often are so well known and the team really is like a family. one thing that is so similar to the franchise is how popular the seekers are. students band together to cheer for their favorite players, but i've noticed that the seekers / captains are the most anticipated members of the season. in my DR, gryffindor and ravenclaw are opening up the spot for new seekers this year and the speculation has been INSANE. people are so eager to see how this season plays out, as Cedric Diggory and Elsie Smithey (the slytherin seeker) have stolen the hearts of everyone in the castle and those two are pretty unbeatable.

(( i scripted that I would become the gryffindor seeker I AM STRESSING SO BAD))

as for house pride, everyone takes part in creating banners and creative posters, and dressing up for games is an absolute must. in addition, I also own some things for different houses, as it is so common to support the other teams if yours is not playing! it all depends on how the season works out in your team's favor, so some students change what team they cheer for each year IT IS SO FUNNY.

I hope this answered some of your wonderings!

thank you so so much for the ask <33

[alannybunnue]

Ok, Imagine: Muzan Kibutsuji with a Wife

Don't question it, ya'll asked for this

But i doubt you imagine something like this...Anyway, enjoy my nonsense :3

[THERE MIGHT BE TRIGGERS WARNINGS, SO BEWARE]

The Demon Queen

= The Backstory =

(I get it, the title is not original, but it makes more sense than anything)

So Muzan is a arrogant little shit and everyone knows it.

But imagine him being married to a unbreakable sunshine

So everything began 1000 years before the main events, in the Heian Era, when Muzan was still a human.

Political marriages were pretty common back then, so you may be asking "Who in their sane minds would marry their daughter to a man on the brink of death?!" Well, our dear reader's shitty parents :3 (Which technically...her mother is me 0-0)

It obviously wasn't a very enjoyable marriage, especially with Muzan's depressing and negative personality, but his wife never change her demeanor, it didn't matter how many times he would cuss at her, she remained at his side everytime with kind smile on her face.

Muzan honestly saw her as a stupid woman who settled down for a impossible dream (Which was them living a normal married life)

So in his mind, he couldn't understand what made her stay with him day and night, waiting for the moment he somehow would be cured from his disease.

She even kept her mouth shut when he killed that Doctor :|

...But then he began to change

And it wasn't impossible to notice, he seemed more energetic, didn't stayed in bed all day like before.

However, he no longer stayed away for shades, his poor wife only found Muzan where the Sun couldn't touch him.

Which made her confused to the extreme, and the poor thing couldn't handle curiosity for long, even if her bitch of a husband wouldn't say a thing...until that one night.

At first, Muzan was going to kill her, at least he was, until she saw him walking towards her normally and became extremely emotional, and went up to her husband and hugged like her life depended on it. (No, she didn't notice the bodies nor the blood)

And as annoying as that would be to the Demon King, he indulged on it for a while, until his brain began to work and he remembered all the times this woman stayed by his side when he was at his worse.

So he transformed her :)

= Muzan as a Yandere + Some details =

One thing that must be made clear, is the detail that Muzan is not in love, he sees his darling more of a living possession than someone he is infatuated with. Using her ultimate devotion for his mere benefit.

Of course, the other reason is because he is already used to his wife's shiny personality and having to look for another woman to disguise himself among humans is too much work.

And yes, after some centuries, he begins to feel bothered whenever she isn't around him, or whenever someone else is with close to his wife.

But that isn't love! It's more like if another child stole his favorite toy.

Surely enough, he won't punish the poor woman too much, she is naive, he knows that...so giving her the silent treatment is enough to make the bubbly sweetheart cling onto him for attention. It still annoys him? Yes. But does he also finds it endearing? Also yes.

Now, does she sees his cruelty and lack of empathy? Yes, however, she is now a demon, she lived centuries with her husband telling her not to mind what they do to humans, nowadays she just can only focus on how much she loves him (My child, wtf-)

Now with demons...it's another story, you see, since she was a human, she always wanted children, but considering the man she got married to...yeah, that was impossible :D

So in her mind, the demons are her children, so whenever Muzan is agressive with them...she is really upset (Let's not comment about when he killed the Lower Moons...my baby cried all night) However, she doesn't say anything, because she can't.

Whenever Muzan can't stay with his wife, he only trusts two demons to take care of her properly

Yeah that's right, Mister Six Eyes and Basketball Man, Kokushibo and Akaza

Both are the most responsible in the group anyway, so they are more than enough to keep the woman in one place...

...But they don't stop her when she wants to stay with others too, except Akaza when she wants to visit Douma.

And Muzan can't complain much, cuz she is safe and sound when he returns, so why bother? (Or that is what she tells him, so he won't lash out on her kids •-•)

So in resume, Muzan is a bitch to everyone but his sunshine wife, but he is not in love- Or that is what he tells himself? :)

〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓

A/N: This honestly is kinda funny and cute somehow?? Muzan is one of the characters that i most despise and i still gave him a Wife...and i gave the Demons a Mom. Hope y'all enjoyed

[moonlit-imagines]

Robin and the Stray (Part 2)

Dick Grayson x Kyle!reader

warnings: blood n death ment and urge to puke teehee

a/n:

prompt:

part 1

Joining the Titans wasn’t exactly something you had in mind. The Titans were all kind-hearted heroic-types with these clear cut motives and tragic or powerful backstories that drove them to do good. You were here for two reasons: Dick moved to the other side of the country and you were being “rehabilitated” from your kleptomanic ways while Selina was serving a short sentence.

It felt awkward being in their presence, every glance felt like a glare. They must be thinking how dare y/n stand and fight beside us, theyre nothing but a common criminal, a petty thief, we can’t trust them. Dick had always assured you that they didn’t think less of you, but when anything was misplaced they always seemed to look to you for an answer.

You and Dick had been together for a few years now, and not all of those years were you a cat burglar. Maybe here and there, mostly for kicks or just to prove you still had it in you. Sometimes just to mess with Dick and Bruce. But Dick never stopped trusting you, he found it amusing more than anything and you grew to love each other deeply. Nothing could change that.

You were already sort of a vigilante before you were inducted into the Titans, usually sticking to the lower levels of Gotham and helping women steal their purses back or a kid who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Stuff like that. Unless, you know, Batman and Robin needed a hand.

As far as the Titans went, you were genuinely happy in San Francisco. It was a nice change of scenery after growing up in dark and gloomy Gotham. Dick felt free without Bruce standing by, doing what he could to make you feel comfortable here. Taking you on dates to new restaurants and going to beaches on your days off became a regular thing, something to make you forget you felt like you didn’t belong.

You had your own room, which was a nice change considering you and Selina typically shared or one of you slept on the couch or somewhere else depending on the night. Although, you spent most of your time in Dick’s room, it was hard to sleep alone most nights, he was like home to you. He’d mindlessly play with your hair and rubbed you back to ease your worried mind. He kept you sane.

But missions were different in so many ways. You had each other’s backs, sure, but you knew well enough that the two of you were more than capable of handling yourselves. Years of fighting against each other and beside each other made the team observer you two in awe, your fluid teamwork was incredible. To you, it was just another day.

“You okay?” Dick asked with your cheeks in his hands, looking down at you with a wet washcloth pressed between your cheek and his hand. “Don’t tell me you’re concussed, I’ll have to stay up all night with you.” You both chuckled weakly.

“I’m fine, just wiped from the past few nights.” You sighed as he wiped grime and blood from your face. You winced when he brushed against just below your eyelid where a bruise was budding. “I really got my ass beat tonight, huh?”

“We all did.” Dick wiped stray hairs from your forehead. “You seemed distracted, though. Thinking of me?”

“Gotham. Just homesick.” You told him and he kissed your forehead and continued you clean your wounds. He was pretty banged up, too, but he could tell you needed some TLC. “I love it here, but you know. I miss all that stuff. I miss Selina. I miss my cats. I miss Commissioner Gordon giving me shit for stealing and then helping him. I miss Bruce giving us lectures about staying focused. I miss Alfred trying to give us ‘The Talk.’” You rambled on while Dick nodded along, and your dull laughter caused another wince as you realized you maybhave a bruised or broken rib. “I miss you sometimes.”

“I’m right here.” He told you.

“Will you always be?” You asked.

“If all goes well.” He pulled out some bandages.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You continued to question.

“It means I don’t know the future and I won’t promise something I might not be able to control.” Dick explained in his smart-ass way. “It’s just the job, y/n. You know I love you.”

“I know you love the job.” You said tilting your head down and eyes up before he picked your chin back up.

“I don’t.” He replied.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Your sigh left his stomach slightly drop and you slid down off the table you were perched on. “I have to get a quick shower in, I’ll be back.” You trotted off the the bathroom to do so and left Dick alone with his thoughts, which you might have sparked something in him at this time. Unbeknownst to the two of you and the rest of the team, your lives were about to b me turned upside down in the worst of ways when Deathstroke entered your lives.

Your head was spinning at the time you heard the news of Garth’s passing. You fell into Dick’s arms and he held you so tightly. You felt as if you might puke and the rest of the team was right with you. Any barrier keeping you and them was broken down, there was no more tension or fear that kept you from getting close, the grief brought you all together.

It was Donna who apologized to you first, letting you know your worries were not that far off and there was a lot of distrust in you, but they moved on from it. It was the load off you needed after this tragedy. And Dick felt guilty he put you in that position, started blaming himself for so many things. You’d thought he’d get distant in all this anguish, but he wouldn’t let you go. He held on tight and began to worry for you more than usual, which worried you greatly. And it sucked because after all that happened with the Titans, you two had no choice but to go home.

“It’s what you wanted, right?” He asked you on the plane ride home, sitting across from each other on Bruce’s private jet.

“Not like this,” you stared out the window, picking at the seams of your jeans, “I just started feeling like I belonged. Now I’m leaving a place that felt like paradise. I really did love it there.”

“We can go other places. I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” Dick leaned forward and grabbed your hand. “I hate this, too. I love you, though. Wherever you go, I’ll go. It’s fine.” You closed your eyes and nodded.

“For now we’re going home.”

And you were home and it was dull and lifeless and you felt all the joy you had slip away as you fell back into old habits. Started to realize you stole because you were bored, you roamed the same streets and rooftops over and over because it was just what you did, you laod around all day and played with the cats but nothing was ever different. Not even when there was some huge debacle with a villain that belonged in Arkham Asylum. Not Two-Face or Riddler or Joker or Mr. Freeze or whoever’s weekly turn it was to enact a failure-destined plan to take over Gotham or kill Batman. It was all the same.

You sat on the same ledges and ate the same Pizza with Dick. You had meals at Wayne Manor with Bruce and Dick, a spot reserved for the late Alfred was an unfortunate change and maybe the only one. Bruce was paying your rent, offering you a bigger place or maybe one for you and Dick to share, but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to it. It already felt like you were taking advantage of him.

Don’t get me wrong, you loved Dick with all your heart, but he was off, too. It was obvious he fell back into his old ways. And something about it made it obvious he’d grown too fond of his life as a Titan. The independence and emancipation from Batman, where he called the shots and could do nice things with and for you. Maybe the guilt set in after another year or two or three. Because one day you were fine and the next, it was over. You looked back and realized that that promise you wanted him to make was never going to be fulfilled because he never felt secure himself. But that was his problem now, you would have helped if he’d let you.

It was awkward seeing each other in passing. After all, neither of you gave up your vigilantism. But avoidance was key. It was only a matter of time before he decided Gotham was too small for him now. You heard he’d moved to Detroit, good for him. You hoped he’d moved on and was doing well, you sure weren’t getting there anytime soon.

Then one day a few weeks later, you heard your phone ringing. Blocked Caller. You stared at the screen for a few moments grabbing the phone and holding it for a few more before you pressed the answer button. You put the phone to your ear but said nothing.

“Y/N? Y/N, it’s me. I need your help. I just—I need you.”

taglist: @volturi-stuff // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @brutal-out-here // @jinxll11 // @swanimagines // @captainshazamerica // @greek-mythographer // @cipheress-to-k-pop // @summersimmerus // @glxwingrxse // @azazel-nyx // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @azazel-nyx // @ravenstrueluv // @evilcr0ne // @sydknee624 // @retvenkos // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @deanzboyfriend // @zoeyserpentluck //

[poemnic-tarot]

The Next 3 months Forecast - Timeless PAC Reading⛅️🍎

(Disclaimer: This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

Check out my master list: PAC Reading Master List

This is a PAID Reading example!!!!. If you resonate with is you can order a paid reading from me exactly like this here: Paid Reading

Don't forget to save it! screenshot for future Guidance!!

This is a Timeless PAC Reading, it will apply to whatever time you are reading this.

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

Pile 1🫧❄️

Energy check : The frog

"Treat yourself like how you want your parent to treat you"

Pile 1 you might feel a bit conflicted between to keep going or stopping or resting for a while. It is conflicting to you because you feel quite burdensome, like you have a lot of things to do and on your plate.You may have a conscious or unconscious high expectation of yourself to get everything done, even-though you don't really feel like it at all. You might feel depleted and in need of a break and it is vital that you do so. We cannot run with an empty fuel or even if we do we won't go far either.

It is time to nourish yourself with self care activities that you might have been putting off. Put down worries and stress for a while and if resting make you feel guilty, it is also the perfect time to examine on the reason why that is. Rest is your birth right, no need to earned it.

Pile 1 if this is your current energy then these are your next 3 months.

(Remember energy is alway shifting and changing depending on our present decisions)

❄️🫧1st Month - 5 of swords🫧❄️

"Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another" - Toni Morrison

The Artist greatest tortured has alway been the process of creation. It is when we have no idea if what we are currently working on will turn out like we hope for/or expected. That is how life is, a process, a work in progress. Remember that there is no destination to reach. It is indeed the journey that we must focus on.If things are up in the air right now and nothing has been decide yet, it is only because we ourself haven't make that decision. And deciding what to do is part of the process, instead of attaching fear, insecurity, nervousness, certainly uncertainty, around the process of not knowing yet. We can rewrite the story by changing it to anticipation, into excitement and entertaining what life have to offer you. Your life story is yours and you can change the genres at anytime.Is this life a tragedy?, a mystery?, a love story?, an adventure or just a slice of life. Whatever it is, you decide. By changing our perspective we changed our story suddenly.

And there is power in choosing, in giving yourself choices. God like power equivalent. There's a lot of fears attach to giving ourself choices that's why not a lot of people do it. "I don't have a choice" is a common phrase because it is easier to have everything up to fate. This is the time/opportunity to ask yourself what you want your fate to look like?. Freewill is on your side and whatever you decided, that is your fate. We do not know our fate by searching. We know our purpose by already done the deed then we decided that THIS is what we want to do. I want to do this, I choose this =your fate. Fate follow your decision. How many times/area in our life where we can 100 percent said that we choose this ourself?.

We are finally free from the unconscious drive, now it is time to live with intention. And that might feel uncomfortable and even hard but trusting in yourself is key. They say knowing is half the battle, so know thy self. Getting to know who you really are, what you really want to do will help you navigate this time easier.The most important thing is, you don't need to figure out the outcome of your decision or how it's going to turn out. All you need to make sure is that do you want to do this?.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 14. Ask for help

'What do you really need? be willing to accept support. There is so much support available to you. You only need to ask for help and you will receive it. Let go of fear and pride as they do not benefit you nor give you what you desire.'

Signs: 555, 1414, fishes, island, blue, water, Pisces, Aquarius

Songs: Is it love by Loreen

You'll find me in the echo of the dark Workin' on the riddle of your heart Lost you in a maze, now let me out Is it love? Is it love? Is it love?

Poem: Will You Fight? by @cant-find-my-name There's no beauty in this pain if incarnation exists I wish to never feel it again Life too hurt to live I have nothing else left to give Put me out of my mystery I demand to be free All these trials and tribulations You think you won't get over them But you did before So what's another one? But they go on and on You realised it won't be done The hardship are endless I have been giving my best That's the circle of life Will you give up now Or will you continue to fight?

Quote from Pinterest:

🎐✨2nd Month - The fool ✨🎐

"It's okay that you're not who you thought you would be".

This is the time for experiment, for adventures, of discovering who you decided to be. We are alway learning about ourself so don't be surprise when a new side popped up. Be curious. What identity/story /belief are we so attach to or that we keep telling ourself?. I'm not the type to do that, or I cannot do this because I am not XYZ enough. How about we see ourself as a blank canvas for a change and that the empty space is not to be fear but to be fills with infinite possibilities. To achieve or want something new, firstly we must also become someone we never been before. For example, if you want to be a healthy person who is fit, then become someone who frequent the gym or do workouts. It mean tuning our frequency to match the vibrations of our desire outcome. For the little things and the big ones.

This world is our playground, this world is our oyster, and we are an avatar whose here to learn and have fun and become as many things as possible. Non attachment is key towards outcome, identity or how the story will unfolds. We do not know what will happen but one thing we know for sure is that every new day is a new lesson to learn from.

Embodies the energy of creation/ take inspiration from around you. Everything you go through or witness have a connection towards you one way or the other. Any ideas/creative projects that suddenly strike you is no coincidence, it find you deliberately. Every things that has been created was an idea once and if there's one that has found you, do not be afraid to answer the call. Be curious.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: Have faith. Trust your faith in this situation.

"When we honestly believe things will work out, our faith will confidently see us through. It can be challenging to move forward when you aren't sure what the outcome will be. Stay present with whatever is in front of you right now. You may have doubts or fear when you take a step forward or make a decision, but faith gives you the courage to continue"

Signs: daisy, dandelion, Sun, tiger, Golden butterfly, golden wings, crocodile, balloon, 33, yellow

Song: Coming back for you by Fireboy DML

Well I pray that the universe Gives you way more than you deserve When the tears fall like shooting stars Remember who you are Just look up to the sky you'll see

Poem: Who You Can Be by @cant-find-my-name

When you stop holding tight To who you thought you were And instead be open to new

Possibilities of you Then you'll see Who you truly are Or can become Weak foundation must be undone Old identity forgotten Mind full of limitations Cannot attract abundance Because you are not open To receive them It's time to wake up and see See the possible version Of Who You Can Be

Quote from Pinterest:

🍭🍡3rd month - 2 of wands🍡🍭

"Every next level of your life will demand a different you".

Pile 1, in this time the way forward is open for you. Keep your momentum. You are unstoppable. Your energy is unstoppable. You are a force to be reckon with, take action towards your visions. If you have vision/ideas, a dream reality, this is the time to take action towards it. The need for movement is not from doubt or fears. From now on, 'I want to act with love' and you might learn that the decisions and action after that will be different than the way you operate before. Because when you operate from love, there's a certain confident, an inner knowing and an unshakable faith that everything is going to be alright. Because it has alway been that way.

Everything in this universe is right, nothing is wrong. When you realise that, whatever action you take, will alway be the right one. You will be able to clearly see the Success in your ventures as you move forward. The picture you painted in your head is coming together in real life. This reality is unfolding in a way that you alway know to be true. In a way, deep inside you know that this universe has alway favour you. Everything is working for you, it is time to accept this truth and work for ourself.

There will be a lot of energy within us this month, use this wisely to propel our goals forward, in any area of our life.

Richard L. Evans Quote: “Your direction is more important than your speed.”

When you finally pick a direction walk towards it with head held high. You choosing your own path/way is already success in itself.

Stars Dragons Oracle quote - Find your light and follow it home - until you realised that with every step you are already there.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 24. Focus on love. Look for the good in everyone.

"Focusing on the love will change and heal any negativity that is there.How you perceive a situation has a lot to do with how you feel about them."

Signs: Letter JJ, orange, sunset, Dragons, lantern, 2423,

Songs: Rise by League of Legends, Mako, and The Word Alive

Higher and higher you chase it It's deep in your bones, go and take it This is your moment, now is your time, so Prove yourself and RISE, RISE Make 'em remember you RISE Push through hell and RISE, RISE They will remember you RISE

Poem: Confident by @cant-find-my-name

So this is what confident feels like It's no longer undefined It's no longer random burst Unexpected, at the mercy of when it Will emerge Now I can call on it Anytime At the tip of of my fingers At the top of my tongue My body oozes of confident Trust in oneself is the definition To give it my all To not hesitate or keep myself small With my inner strength With all my might I will stand tall In the front line and face it all

Quote from Pinterest:

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

Pile 2🌦🌕

Energy check : The wolf

"I understand if the wound is greater than an apology can cure"

Pile 2 You might be dealing with disappointment right now. If something or someone has turn out differently then you expected, this is an opportunity to let go. We think we might have a great idea of someone and if that person deviate from our view of them, life might suddenly does not make sense. That someone can also be yourself. If things or person actions does not make sense to you, we can only ask ourself if we align with their actions or not. We can't control people but we can control how we response to them. We human are a unique individual but we are not that different from each other. WE all have the same fundamental needs, the need to belong, the need to be loved, the need to fulfils our own desires, the need for stability/security.

What motive/base intention drive you?, and people close to you. The base alway determine the action. And what kind of action are you okay/align with to fulfils that particular need of yours. And what actions simply doesn't.

For you, the end doesn't justify the means. Even if the intention is good but the action to fulfil that needs is hurting you in some way either from others or even yourself, it is okay to acknowledge that that is not the way you want to proceed. Understanding what you can or cannot tolerate is key.

Pile 2 if this is your current energy then these are your next 3 months.

(Remember energy is alway shifting and changing depending on our present decisions)

✉️🪄1st month - 7 of pentacles🪄✉️

"You can try again tomorrow"

Pile 2 You have infinite chances.You might be questioning where is your reward for all the hard work you did?.The real question is, how can I become the things I want?. People might not realise it but even with the desires for material goals or material obtainment is to fulfil a certain need/emotion within us. For example, stable income for the feeling of security, a physical home to fulfils the feeling of belonging. We do not need to wait until obtaining those things to feel that particular emotions. We can cultivate a sense of security within us now. If you seek abundance, embody it, become it because you are what you attract.

We must ask ourself why we made importance certain goals in our life. And if our efforts did not show case in obtaining that goals, do we lose something in the process?. There is never a lost in trying and if you have try, you have already gain. Wisdom, lessons, getting to know another side of yourself. Different situations bring out a different you, different outcome bring out a different you. It ask you what do you truly value?, your hard work or the result of it?. Aren't both equally important?. So why do we disregard one when the ending is not what we expected?. If the same way hasn't work for you before, why not try a different way?. What are we trying to achieve here?. Who are we becoming in the process while we pursue our goals? do we feel lighter or heavier?. You have work hard to become who you are today, but strip away the obvious, who are you really?. What is your soul like?. Do you know what your soul feel like?. If the situation seem like it isn't working for you, it time to take back your power and make it work for you.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 33. Appreciate this moment. Every situation is an opportunity to grow and find love.

"Challenging circumstances rarely make sense at the time. It is important to face what is happening so you can learn the lessons. Ask the angels to show you what is important in this moment."

Signs: 333, Conch shell, seashells, angels, archangel Ariel, Yellow

Song: Thank God I Do by Lauren Daigle

I've started breathing The weight is lifted here With You, it's easy My head is finally clear There's nothing missing When You are by my side I took the long road But now I realize I'm home with You, I'm home

Poem: Why isn't That Me? by @cant-find-my-name

I look up at the sky And saw people fly My immediate thought was Why isn't that me? What else do I need to feel more free? To feel happy What is the formula for greatness? And why don't I have it? My confident is all but a grand Emulation What do I lack that they don't? How can they spread their wings without care And why don't I dare Going for it too? Is it hard work or talent Or is it bravery or passion? Both which I can't find within me So if I want to be up there too I have to find the success recipe I need to solve this inner Mystery

Quote from Pinterest:

🍓🫧2nd month - King of pentacles🫧🍓

"Because we can't see what's ahead, you have to trust that dots will somehow connect in your future"

Pile 2 This is the month to build a strong foundation on what you valued, what you truly believe in. We managed to get this far but we know we can go much farther. This life is a journey and in a way you have "made it". The trust you have in yourself never lead you astray. Your faith in your visions, instinct, your own path will alway lead you home. In a way, you were never lost, you alway know where you are heading to.

This has been a long journey for you but it is a worthwhile one. You have achieved so much, time to acknowledge THAT. You know who you are, you are stable inside yourself, you trust your path like never before. And it is these differences in you that will transformed your outer reality. As above so below, as within so with out. You can clearly see in front of you now, no obstruction, no confusion. You alway know that there's no need to rush, it is not the destination but the journey that is the most exhilarating and satisfying.The fulfilment is in the way there, life is a never ending journey and you cannot wait to invent a new path for yourself to embark on.

Slow and steady win the race. and you know that wherever it is you're suppose to go, you are never late. You are alway on time. And having fun, taking in the view, smelling the roses, on your way there is what define your experiences more than the destination.Life become fulfilling to you now as you seek more experience that feeds you rather than deplete you.

"I don't want to feel better, I want to know better. I should have known that God is not in the meal but in the sharing of the meal. I should have told you that holiness resides in needing each other, in acts of survival made generous."

Julian K. Jarboe ( I saw this post in tumblr and was call to put it here)

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 28. The union of Hearts. A love connection defies explanation.

"It is important to recognise the significance love has in your life. Shift your attention to the essentials in your relationships. Celebrate the wealth of love present in your life. This card is prompting you to redirect your awareness from your goals and desired outcomes, onto your relationships."

Signs: 111, 88, 28, constellation, Centaurus, open fields, Black knight, shield

Song: At All Costs by Ariana DeBose and Chris Pine

If happiness was a tangible thing It would be you If you'd have told me the feeling you'd bring I'd think it untrue And people search for a wonder like you All of their lives You still amaze me after all this time

Poem: This is Truly Tragic by @poemnic-tarot

Have I been worried about the result? Anxious about the outcome? And in the in between time Missed all the fun? Mind, what a tragedy This is truly tragic I've only lived for fleeting moments That in the big Picture Doesn't contribute to anything Now I get it, I will try not to live in stress Of course I have my worries But now I know when To let it rest

Quote from Pinterest:

❄️💫3rd Month - 7 of swords💫❄️

"One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels"

Pile 2 in this month you might feel quite independent. It is encourage you to go your own path. Solitute or spending time by yourself might be what you needed. No need to be agreeable with people if you have a different opinion. You learn more by listening, especially listening to what's not being said. If there is a revelation or a certain truth or even a shift in perspective revealing themselves this time we can take our time to come to term with it. No need to react right away, or identify with it. We can observe the behaviours of other to determine if it align with us. Feeling differently than what we should feel doesn't mean we are wrong or that we should conform. Accepting our individuality is key, our uniqueness is what will set us free.

If something is crumbling down let it fall. You cannot save a fake foundation. You know the truth will alway come out, and the truth is never meant to hurt you, but only to set you free. Free from flock mentality or the matrix. When you have seen you cannot unseen. And how ever you feel about it is up to you and yours alone no need to hold back on our feeling or frustration, or anger.

Original path mean designing your own blueprint. If this world seem fake to you suddenly, know that your mind, your belief is what makes your reality. Your belief will set your path, do you believe in freedom?. Because it become yours when you believe in it. You are not trap here, you are on a solo journey. Hang in there, discard the need for things to make sense. YOUR REASON can be different from other people that's why you are leading a different life than other people. You are the truth that this world need, if this world is filled with illusion, you are the real gold among plastic. A truth seeker, a truth speaker. Observe the truth, find it, become it.

Signs: 777, snow, white, crescent moon, Hummingbird, morning glory, sea, blue flowers, lava, magma, a record player

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 31. Love makes the difference. love helps heal past hurts and provides a sense of security and self - worth.

"Love is strong and can endure anything. if you trust love everything else will fall into place.When there are challenges, it is important to keep your heart open."

Song: Hummingbird by James Blake and Metro Boomin

And hummingbird I know that's our time (that's our time) But stay on Stay on, stay on with me And hummingbird I can never unsee What you've shown me Stay on, stay on with me

Poem: Four Of Wands by @cant-find-my-name

With hopeful seed You planted your needs And wish them well Hoping they grow To abundance more For you to sell But What are flowers? And what are weed? Which shall you keep? Which is which? You cannot tell In Four Of Wands You have built But slowly, reality seeps in Like stained water, dripping into your ideal dreams Your house must sustain Strong concrete standing Firm foundation as storm rolled in It won't be blown apart As you will make sure That you're not building a house of cards

Quote from Pinterest:

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

🌸⚡️Pile 3⚡️🌸

Energy check: The Lion

"This moment will just be another story someday"

"You can try again tomorrow"

Pile 3, you might be feeling sad or nostalgic lately. But there's no specific situation to cause this particular emotion.You might be feeling like you have outgrown your environment and people around you. You feel like you cannot relate to your usual people, things, or even hobby. What you used to vibe with, there isn't the same connection there anymore. You feel like the same things, people , places just doesn't do it for you anymore.

This is because you have gone through a massive transformation. You have ascended spiritually, at first internally, then the outer reality will let you know that it's time to go. You feel like the same thing does not satisfied you anymore. In a way, your soul is seeking something new, a new adventure, a new challenge. You are ready for the next level. You will slowly transition to new things naturally as the same old routine, hobby, places you used to frequent will not quench that thirst of yours.

Yes, it's okay to feel sad, even grieving the past, but also you can celebrate. You made it Pile 3, you have mastered your growth. A new chapter is awaiting you. In fact, you are already on your way there, the feeling of dissatisfaction is the first clue.

Song: The Hills by Rachel

Have you ever noticed That your house don't feel like home? (Home, home) In a room that you've outgrown Scrubbing at the writing on the walls (walls, walls) Everybody's been there So you try your best to leave (leave, leave) I was told the grass is greener But it's just a fantasy, it seems

Pile 3 if this is your current energy then these are your next 3 months.

(Remember energy is alway shifting and changing depending on our present decisions)

🍏✨1st month - 7 of pentacles✨🍏

"Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forget the flower at his feet."

Pile 3, this is the month of appreciation. You do not need to look far to feel satisfied. We can concentrate on what we don't have yet, who we want to be with, where we want go. Those empty spaces are not a representation of how worthy you are or not. You are worthy as you are, with or without what you seek. Put in effort and focus on what you actually vibe with. Ask yourself what you rather be doing. Work smarter not harder. You know you can do it when you decide to. Trust that whatever you put efforts in it will grow. Just like how you did yourself. Energy flow where attention goes.

You witness the result in yourself, when you poured into your self you notice how much you grow. Everything in life is like a plant, a tree, or a flower. Everything we want to build need focus, attention, efforts and energy, as well as the right environment and nutrient. Whether that is people, project, work or habits. Adjust accordingly, what do you need the most right now. To feel better physically?, rest, to grow a business? consistency. We know what everything need in order to become the beautiful flower we know it would. Give yourself three things this month Pile 3, Time, Patient and faith. When you apply this to your self or the things you want, you have everything. You reap what you sow, anything you focus on and put energy in will eventually grow. No matter how slow, the flower will inevitably bloomed.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 30. True Love. this love is once in a life time.

"Unconditional love is easier said than done. maintaining the love in a relationship takes more than good intentions. Positive intentions are a solid first step, but it is better to learn how to nurture your relationship each day."

Signs: 144, 72, 11, letter T, Pig, white snake, fireworks, better late than never, guitar, Elf, Ocean waves, sparrow

Song: On The Ground by Rosé

I worked my whole life Just to get right, just to be like "Look at me, I'm never coming down" I worked my whole life Just to get high, just to realize Everything I need is on the Everything I need is on the ground

Poem: Skills and Hard Work by @cant-find-my-name

Take up the skills and Devoured it Eat it up for breakfast The component you have it The natural talent and hard work Two plus two equals Our passionate love It's not hard at all It's who I am My habit is practice Putting formulas together For my benefit I want to conquered the world Then so be it If I can't make bread from scratch Then Victory? Forget about it

Quote from Pinterest:

🐇🌙2nd Month - The Tower🌙🐇

"Biggest lesson: Don't ever think it can't happen to you."

"Remember how far you've come instead of how far you've to go"

Pile 3, in this month you must remember that everything is going according to plan. It might not seem so but we have to accept that we are not all knowing. All we can focus on is trust in the process. Notice how every time we ask/pray for something we get the opposite?. For example, you wish for true authentic love, the universe will reveal where that is not present.Maybe even magnify it to you where true love isn't.A big red arrow pointing to show you that what you pray for is alway there, but we must transformed it into exactly what we ask for.

Keep calm and continue what you're doing. If the ground you're standing on is crumbling, let it fall. You asked for this.There's a quote that goes something like this"people witness The violent it take to change but no one knows the violent it takes to stay the same" Choose your hard. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right within this universe. What you're witnessing is transformation. The cocoon is transforming into a butterfly. But in between that, how violent, chaotic is the change?. Transformation is not pretty, it might even look like destruction. No matter what's it look like this month, remember that the transformation is alway in your favour.Keep that in mind. When the planet moves, it move in your favour, it moves for your greatest good. The process of transformation is not for the feint of heart, it require trust and calmness and the ability to breathe as illusion breaks.

'Demolish the fortress of yourself so that your truth may flow free from the ruins.' explanation of the Tower card from Tarot of Stars eternal.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 15.Practice Compassion. See things from a fresh perspective. Love and compassion always bring positive outcomes.

Signs: Red, purple, Mars, Fire signs, blue tit, blue feather, blue crystal cluster, forget me not, blue rose

Song: We Are The Champions by Queen

I've taken my bows And my curtain calls You brought me fame and fortune And everything that goes with it I thank you all But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise I consider it a challenge before The human race And I ain't gonna lose

Poem: Peace Will Find You Somehow by @cant-find-my-name

If you're scare of things going wrong Then, you're scare of living Cause life will almost alway goes wrong Darling, Your lesson here is to learn To be okay with chaos Cause it will happen Or happening There is no stopping Peace cannot be found when all is all Peace can be found now Even in the midst of War During bloodshed and Violence All around If you take a deep breath Plant both feet on the ground Even then Peace will find you somehowQuote from Pinterest:

☘️🌾3rd Month - 6 of cups🌾🍀

Pile 3, this is an intense time for you. Where you feel everything so deeply, you might notice that every senses is intensify.Your taste buds, scent of smell, especially your emotions. When you're happy it's so high and when you're low it's so low. This might feel like a rollercoaster time period. Pleasure and pain goes hand in hand, you could say one cannot exist without the other. But we do not have to be at the mercy of pleasure or pains. They do not or should not define our life experiences. Everything in this UNIVERSE is neutral. You are the one defining your experience as pleasure or pain or even both. It's doesn't have to be either or, it can be either and.

What experiences do you categorise as painful and which are defined to you as pleasurable?. It possible to have both in one day, if you define today as painful you have already limited it capacity. To define is limit. Remember you can have both in one, if this day start as not so good, the rest can change to better. You are the one who define your experience not the other way around.

You can either see the experiences you had as a mistake, or a lesson to learn or grows from. There is no mistake or accident in this universe, everyone you meet or everything you've been through is to shape you to who you are. Ask yourself who you want to become, and see every experience after that as a lessons to help you transform into that person. Reconnect to joy not pain.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 3.Back to what you love. Re-evaluate your desires.

"You are meant to live a life of happiness. Bliss, love, relationship and wealth are your fate. you can change your mind at any time and do something you have always longed to. when you do something you love, you reconnect to your bliss."

Signs: 33, scorpion, dove, Video games, Playground, tree roots, 66

Song: You say by Lauren Daigle

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know Ooh-oh You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak And you say I am held when I am falling short And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours And I believe (I) Oh, I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe

Poem: Turn It Around by @cant-find-my-name

Turn it around You have it the ability Trust it you do Turn Negative into Positive If that is too much Turn it neutral Nothing is against you It is all a projection Or your bias assumption As well as Misplace subjection In the grand schemes of things You are fine, you are doing alright Maybe you expect too much, Maybe you were expecting fireworks and parade To indicate Victory But small wins count The fact that you are here today Is proof enough for you to seeQuote from Pinterest:

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

🫑Pile 4🐁🌽

Energy check - The Bear, Whale

"Getting no message is also a message" Pile 4 you just ended a big cycle recently and it was tiring. It was a long arduous journey. You might feel like you just run a marathon or the equivalent. Maybe in the outer reality it seem like you haven't done much but, energetically, you have just transmuted a big, big cycle. Well done. Great job.

When you decided that you deserve something better, instead of keeping yourself small, you want to not only survive but thrive. The inner work come first. And the inner work was the hardest part.You passed the hardest part, take a rest and give your self a pat on the back. You might think there's still things you want to do to build to try and you will.Look how far you have come. But we must acknowledge all that we did first before we can move on.

You have an inner knowing inside you that you want to follow, you know your purpose and you are eager to start. Preparation is key. Just like before running a marathon you must first train your stamina, your body, have a consistent routine, adjust habit accordingly, and whatever else you need in order to start your race and move forward in that direction.What small little foundation that need to be done in order for you to run a marathon? to start running?.

Song: Rise by Katy perry

I won't just survive Oh, you will see me thrive Can't write my story I'm beyond the archetype I won't just conform No matter how you shake my core 'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh

Pile 4 if this is your current energy then these are your next 3 months.

(Remember energy is alway shifting and changing depending on our present decisions)

🍥🪶1st month - The fool🪶🍥

Pile 4, this is a big month for you. This is where your journey start. You might feel magic in the air. Literal electric charge in the atmosphere. Luck is on your side. This is a favourable time for you to embark on the path that you alway dream of. Everyone have that thing on their mind, secret desires or wishes that seem impossible every time we think about it ( for example, moving to another country, change job) Do you have something like that in your heart?. This month is when we face it, surrender to it calling. We are finally answering and asking our desires what does it want us to do?. Give me the first step and I'll take it.Start your preparation to stay ready (for example, moving to another country, research the visa, law, and documentation etc,) What else should we do except follow our soul?.

Fear, doubts, is a natural part of life but they will be taking a backseat while you are literally flowing, walking on air, walking on water as you call it. Your intuition is quite strong and it's important to let it lead you at this time. Nothing have to make sense. We don't have to know everything, just the next step is enough. We don't have to know where we're going, that's part of the fun. You had ended a big cycle recently and if you were wondering, when will the next one start?because it starting to feel stale in the old chapter.

This is the time of a new chapter for you and it might seem like everything is up in the air, but that usually how everything start. Let the positive energy and the dawn enveloped you. Feel the sun on your skin and bask in your New world.Every new path is a path back home and home is where your heart is.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 3. Back to what you love. Evaluate your desires.

"You can change what you are doing at any time. You do not have to feel stuck. Go back to what you know and, more importantly to what you love."

Signs: Pink, Green,1010. Dove, golden energy, roses, sun

Song: The Last Of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy

I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you And then I found you You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you Spinning around you You were too good to be true Gold plated But what's inside you But what's inside you I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you But not as much as I do As much as I do, yeah

Poem: Divine’s Call by @cant-find-my-name

Heavy rain calls for Lightning

But it’s hard to predict when the strike

Will come

You hardly would miss the Rumblings

The electric energy as charged as the sun

You know we will intervene

For the greatest good of all

It’s time to step out into this world

Instead of keeping yourself

Small

You know you can conquered earth

Ocean, Heavens

You did it many times before

And each time

Your name will never be mistaken

As nothing but

The Divine’s Call

Quote from Pinterest:

🌸🌕2nd month - 7 of Cups🌕🌸

“It was never a question of biology of nature or nurture. I know now that we heal up through being loved and through loving others”

Pile 4, Watch out for this month. There might be a lot of distraction. A lot of people or even tasks that might asked for your attention and it is important to be extra discerning this month. For we might find that the month has passed by and you might feel like you haven't got anything you want done.Things that you resonate with. If you want to finish a project, a book, a new hobbies/skills be mindful of how much time and energy you're putting in. Because if you find that the progress is slow, we must be realistic and ask ourself did we poured that much energy in it? if not then we might want to do more of it.

There might be a lot of options coming to you this month but the most important thing to keep in mind is, to choose the option that is the most rejuvenating, healing, the option that pour into you or return your energy. Whether that is people, project, jobs, friends, events etc. There is only one rule for you, do I feel drained or rejuvenate with this?. What would a person who love themselves do? Ask yourself this question again and again no matter what situation you are in, because the answer to it is the clarity you're looking for to avoid confusion. If you feeling extra muddy and blurry on your choices this month, do not make any important decision. Give your self time and patient and never pressure yourself to quickly choose, Because you have time alway.

If anything or anyone doesn't give you time and pressure you to choose quickly or threaten that it will be gone, whether it is a job, person etc. Do we want to associate with something that does not give us time to think about it? because what meant for you will never pass you by. Pile 4, what is yours will only wait for you.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 15. Practice compassion. see things from a fresh perspective.

"Walking in someone else's shoes can bring us to a tender understanding that may always bring positive outcomes."

Signs: blue tit, crystal Geode, squirrel, Wind chimes, ocean waves

Song: LIMBO by Keshi

I've just been goin' through motions, back and forth like a ocean I am a fraud, I am the shit, hoping that nobody notice Bang chest in the morning, head down in the night Drink less if I wanted, strike up with a light And square up, I'm the mightiest Myself in the fight, hurt twice, but I tried it No advice for this shit, might die for this shit Do I feel alive, feel alive, feel alive?

Poem: Blue Or Red? by @cant-find-my-name

Feeling lost but I know I am guided I don't hold the map I followed the stars The constellations showed me the path Only I can see I choose to go my own way And the journey is lonely And vicious Many times, I've thought to maybe Stop And let the conventional normalcy Control me Like everyone else Being different made you a target Everyone chooses Blue But I said Red Now they can all see My choice in all it's glory They all went for ordinary But I decided to create my own Fate

Quote from Pinterest:

🎏🪄3rd Month - Ace of Wands🪄🎏

"You don't notice your progress in life because you are always raising the bar"

Pile 4, Fist of all for this month please recognised that you have done a lot, You have come so far and this need to be recognised especially this month, by you. You might feel inspired to start a new project, new hobby or even a new chapter in life. One of the reason might be because you have clear out a lot of old energy, whether that is old relationship, friendship, past wounds, etc. You did so much to be at a place of non attachment. A blank/clean slate, you might feel like nothing is holding you back anymore, you might find that it's easier to go for or do the things you've alway wanted. And you are right. You can use this fearless/bold energy to birth that creative project, or book that ticket of yours. Whatever it is follow your courage and inspired action for it will lead you to the answer you might not know you seek.

In the past you might have asked yourself what am I doing this for?, why do I keep going? or why am I fighting so hard for my dream? These might be your question in the past that will be reveal to you this month. You will know why you chose what you've chosen. This is what you were seeking without knowing. This is what you were waiting for, your signs, your signal, your path. And when you encounter it you will not miss it or mistaken it for anything. Whether that is a person, a career, a life purpose, or even where you will live. And this meeting will set fire to your soul and ignited your passion once more. Which will propel you towards a new, long, but promising future/chapter. Please look out for it but do not seek it, it will find you especially when you feel inspired to act suddenly. Let your soul take the lead this month and watch it surprise you. Watch out for an important person, partnership, soul family this month, wink wink.

Advice from Whispers Of Love Oracle: 27 Spiritual Connection. A relationship has a connection that goes beyond this lifetime.

"Everything happens for a reason. Some people come into your life to help you learn a lesson and they will make a real impact on your life. Whether it be with a lover, a primary partner or in a relationship for growth, a spiritual connection is important to you now."

Signs: Wands, Red, green, 444, 27, Saturn, crown chakra, Purple

Song: Taylor Swift - Begin Again

And you throw your head back laughing Like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 'cause He never did I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does Is break and burn, and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

Poem: Song Bird by @cant-find-my-name

Song Bird you grew your wings

And strengthen your voice

Now your words glided ears

Like gentle melody

Of glowing river and easy breeze

The beat rhyme with the rhythm of the hearts

Everyone will hear your songs

But they might not understand it right away

And that's okay

No need to adjust the tune or

Filter it down

No need to be scare if

You are too loud

This volcanic sound

Will echoes around

And reaches the vibration

To the ones

That needed to know and get your lyrics

They would not question it

So Songbird

Sing your song

And speak your words

Eventually

Every creatures will sing along

Quote from Pinterest:

⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧 You Are Loved ⭐️ 🫧 ✨ ✿ 🌧

Thank you so much for reading!! 🧿See you soon!🧊

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