#so easy. so easy. have one character that doesn’t want another character to suffer. that’s romance.

[obstinaterixatrix]

I think I forgot to post these screencaps a couple weeks ago but man, charming the duke of the north Really Gets Romance

[literaila]

small talk

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: satoru has never learned the definition of "small talk" and you don't care to teach him

a/n: i was requested to hold off on the angst, so i decided to comply (very gracious, i know) so take a flashback fic, in which our characters lack all of their trauma (also I'm working on the next actual part and it... might take a bit)

last part | next part

second year, month two.

“c’mon, nanami, you owe us," you're saying, laying across the couch in nanami's room, feet sore from walking around all day. 

it's only noon, and you already feel like you've suffered through several weeks of this. your only two classmates siding with each other almost always. 

except for now, because you're pouting. trying to convince kento that being a recluse will get him nowhere in life--you would know. 

“no, i do not.” 

you roll your eyes. “sorry? who sliced the curse in two before we even got the chance to look?" you ask, rhetorically. "oh, you? that’s right.” 

nanami shakes his head, but you see his lips twitch—about to give (another) involuntary apology. if you keep up the whining, he'll probably give you his firstborn. 

“it could be fun,” haibara adds, chewing on some weird candy he picked up at the convince store by your mission. it smells like a rotted corpse, which is what you told him when he offered to share. 

“i seriously doubt that.” 

“well, i seriously don’t care,” you tell him, “this is the first time we’ve been invited. unless you want to spend the next two years getting wedgies—“ 

“gojo can’t even touch me,” he argues, arms crossed. his eyes are unyielding as he stares at you. “and geto is more respectable than that.” 

haibara laughs, probably at the mention of a wedgie. 

“well, i wouldn’t know. but i’ll find out tonight when we all go with them to… wherever they’re going.” 

because you showed up a couple of weeks after the two of them, much to your dismay, you haven't become acquainted with your seniors or any of their quirks. it's honestly unfair. but neither of them seems to care about their upper hand or the fact that you're tired of being stuck around them all of the time. 

“i have plans.” 

“no you don’t,” you snort. “we’re your only friends.” 

“that’s not relev—“ 

haibara hangs on nanami’s shoulder, smiling at him with his puppy dog eyes. “kento, we have to go. i want to ask geto a couple of questions, and y/n’s already annoyed.” 

you huff, crossing your arms. you have a good reason to be upset. 

nanami looks at you, then sighs. “i already told you, it was a grade four, it didn’t even look ‘cool’ like the one you and haibara exorcised last week.” 

“i’m not talking to you.” 

haibara laughs, going to sit down next to you, ruffling your hair. it’s irritating, how nonchalant he is about this. like nanami didn’t steal your mission right in front of you. 

and kind of adorable. you lean into him, resting the side of your body against his arm. maybe his energy will mix with yours. 

“y/n, i already apologized.” 

you turn your head away from him. 

“this is very immature.” he gives haibara a pleading look. 

you can feel it as he laughs against you. 

nanami sighs. “fine. this once. if you ever ask again—“ 

you jump up, moving beside him to squeeze him into a makeshift hug (which he doesn’t return). “i knew you’d come around,” you say. because you did. nanami is notoriously easy to break, despite his untouchable demeanor.

nanami sighs again. more forlorn. “this is going to be a disaster.” 

and obviously, haibara takes this opportunity to move to his other side, participating in the group hug.

* 

in all honesty, you’d expected more. 

it’s not that you idolize your upperclassmen—if they can even be classified as such—but seriously, after a year they haven’t come up with anything more entertaining than dragging someone’s tv into the common room and playing mario cart? 

you figured there'd be more excitement here. a lot more break-ins, and more chances for heroics. 

but, you remind yourself, trying to sit pleasantly, this is the first time any of you have been invited. the first time you've spent with geto, Gojo, and shoko without yaga hanging over your break, threatening all of them to be nice. you just want a chance not to be the only new one around. the least educated, weakest.

so you might as well try and enjoy it while you can.

besides nanami and haibara, you don’t have a lot of friends. you didn’t, even before you started at jujutsu high. you barely even had a family. 

so you’ll take what you can get (even if it's three people who speak in code and seem to do nothing but fight).

“oh, how’d that mission you guys went on go?” geto asks after he’s beaten haibara at a fourth race. “where was it?” 

“harajuku,” nanami says, sounding more like he’s telling you his grandma just died. 

“get anything cool?” gojo asks, leaning his head back against the couch so he can look at you upside down. his sunglasses are sliding off of his nose, and you blink. 

“we left pretty quickly,” haibara answers, for all of you. “it was just a grade four.” 

“they sent all of you for that?” shoko, who is pretending to read some sort of biology book right in front of the tv, raises her brow at you. 

at least there’s some common ground there. being the only two girls in a fifty-foot radius creates its own sort of bond. 

you’re about to remark something snarky about nanami and his control issues, but haibara is eager to please, so he says to her, “nah, it was supposed to be harder. grade two, they said.” 

“been there,” she answers. 

geto raises a brow, but his eyes don't move from the screen. “no you haven’t?” 

“listening to gojo’s story about that ‘grade one’ he ‘exorcized’ is basically like being there.” 

“hey, that was true!” 

the two of them give the boy a look, then resume their activities. nanami taking haibara’s place—not without some convincing—and the rest of you watching. 

wow, what a life for jujutsu sorcerers. 

you laugh at the thought and ignore the weird look shoko gives you. 

eventually, gojo makes his way from across the room, his chin resting on geto's temple, and sits on the floor next to you, long limbs getting in the way. 

you barely glance at him with your brows raised, then look back to the screen. nanami is surprisingly good at it. and you find gojo kind of... bizarre. he's always laughing, always leaning against something, and just his presence right next to yours feels like an intrusion. 

“so,” gojo whispers to you, schemingly. “gabumons better than agumon, right?” 

you turn to him, tilting your head. “what?” 

“kind of an unpopular sentiment,” he adds, “but true. i mean, c’mon, metalgarurumon? freezing breath? so cool,” he says, like you’re supposed to know what it means. he's got that same grin on--the one you've watched from across the courtyard, shaking his hand, and probably even that time you caught him napping on the dining table. 

“…what?” 

“satoru, leave her alone,” geto says because this must be a regular occurrence.

“i’m just making small talk!” 

shoko snorts. “i don’t think you’ve ever talked small a day in your life.” 

gojo opens his mouth but apparently has nothing to say about that. 

he sighs, leaning his chin on a hand, and watching the screen again. clearly, his classmates have ruined all of his fun. how is he supposed to mess with you in peace with them around?

when he catches you staring at him a moment later—mostly bewildered because you’ve heard many rumors about satoru gojo, and none of them involve him being a grumbler—he grins. “your turn.” 

“to what?” you say, hoping he doesn’t mean the game. 

he leans toward you. “to make small talk.” 

“i don’t think your turns over.” 

“you’re supposed to continue the conversation. answer my question…” he hints. 

“you didn’t ask a question,” you say, “just made a statement about what’s-your-mon and who’s-your-mon.” 

he looks around, outraged, like you’ve said something completely insane. 

you cut in before he can add anything, “and you know that small talk is supposed to be about, like, the weather, right?” 

“the weather? you’d rather talk about that than cyborg digimon?” 

“…i think so?” 

“ignore him,” shoko calls. 

but you can’t. there's something about him that gets under your skin. and, it's satoru gojo, he's intriguing in his own, annoying way. 

“fine. how do you like the weather?” he asks, tapping his fingers against his chin, smiling at you again. 

you pinch your lips together. “it’s fine. rainy.” 

he throws his head back, groaning. “see? this is boring. and so is this game, because suguru just beats everyone.” 

“i think nanami won the last round.” 

he gives you a ‘really?’ look, and you shrug. 

“do you guys do this a lot?” 

“do what?” 

you gesture towards the tv. “sit around and do nothing.” 

gojo scoffs. “this is very important, you know. we take video games very seriously.” 

you take a look at geto—who’s sticking his tongue out while he handles the controller—and haibara, who’s pointing at nanami’s face and laughing. 

you must’ve missed something. not that you've been paying much attention to the game, anyway. 

you've been mostly obsessing over your expressions, trying not to say anything out of place, and figure out how to speak to any of these people without sounding foolish. 

which, so far, hasn't gone well. 

“what do you guys do, then?" gojo asks, sarcastically. "meditation circle?” 

you snort. “study, usually. or hand-to-hand combat. haibara and i need the practice.” 

“shoko won’t spar with me and suguru can’t anymore after we accidentally put a hole in the gym wall last time.” 

“that was you? how do you accidentally break through concrete?” 

he shrugs, winking at you. “suguru’s flying frog things are heavy.” 

“flying frogs?” you say, skeptically. 

“oh, child,” satoru pats you on the head. “you’ve got lots to learn.” 

“apparently,” you say, and turn back to the tv, and the debate the four of them are having about character types or something. 

but gojo doesn’t move from his spot. he sits next to you for the next hour, and you learn, for the first time, just how insufferable he is. 

especially with his smile, which you find yourself staring at every couple of minutes. 

*

next part | series masterlist

[cozage]

Hi it's me again 👀 I absolutely love your writing of my request last time ❤❤❤❤❤ I'd like to send another request to you !!! You can continue writing my last request with other OP characters that you like or you can take this angst request: OP characters react to being forgotten (permanently or not) by their s/o after a brutal battle with the enemies?

A/N: You have once again cursed my ability to sleep. Oh, the ANGST!!! I LIVEEEEEE for it. I only did three characters,but I will DEFINITELY do this again with other characters, so if there was someone in particular you want to see, let me know friend (or anyone else!) :) 

Characters: GN! reader x Zoro, Luffy, Law

Cw: angst, blood, fighting, memory loss

Total word count: 2.5k

Forgotten

Zoro

You grip your weapon as he approaches, cautious of the stranger approaching you. You’re in a vulnerable position, sitting back against the rocks you just crashed into, and your ears are ringing.

“You okay?” he calls out, looking at you in a concerned manner. You pull your weapon out and take as much of a defensive stance as you can. 

“Stay back!” You scream at him. He looks strong, but with some luck you’ll be able to overpower him. 

Zoro pauses for a moment, full of confusion at your sudden hostility. At first he thinks you see something he’s missing, and he scans the vicinity for any kind of trap. He draws his weapon as he approaches you, and you stand to your feet to try and get a better attack point. 

“Hey, what are you-Sit down woman!” The moss-haired man screams at you, voice full of irritation.

You stand, leaning against the rocks for support. “What? So it’s easier for you to kill me? Like hell!”

“Why the hell would I kill you?!? Sit DOWN!” He’s closed the distance between you two, and you stab at him. You almost catch him off guard, but he dodges and easily disarms you. “Would you cut it out?! I know you don’t like help, but you need it right now!”

“Get off of me, you brute!” You’re kicking and punching him, but he just throws you over his shoulder and starts carrying you away, ignoring your punches, desperate to find Chopper. 

--

Chopper delivers the news. Memory loss. It’s not complete, you remember the Strawhats, the Sunny, a few crew members. But you’ve forgotten Zoro. Not just the two of you being together, but you’ve forgotten him completely. 

Zoro handles suffering silently. He locks himself in the crows nest, training all day. If he had been stronger, faster, this wouldn’t have happened. He blames himself a lot.

He tells everyone not to mention your all's history to you. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and he doesn’t expect you to feel that way about him again. He knew it was a miracle for you to fall in love with him once, he knows he won’t be so lucky a second time. 

It's painful for him to even look at you. Everyone has explained to you that he’s a member of the Sunny, so you trust him now. But everytime he sees you, all he can see is the hatred in your eyes on that day in the battlefield. Even when he gets past that, your eyes look at him with no emotion, vacant where they used to be full of love. 

You thought he hated you based on his behavior. When you asked Nami about it, she finally caved and told you about your past with Zoro. Everyone hates to see the two of you so distant, and Nami knows he won’t ever make the first move. 

You take him up some tangerine water one day while he's working out. You’re not sure why, but you do. 

His mouth drops open when he sees your delivery, and he runs to you and grabs you without thinking. “You remember?”

You don’t, and your face tells him. He lets go of you immediately, and his cheeks turn pink. He mutters an apology, turning away from you quickly. 

“I’ll remember one day,” you tell him quietly as you exit. “Or we’ll just have to make new memories.”

Luffy

The rescue mission to retrieve you had been a little too easy. Everyone was skeptical, but Luffy was over the moon with joy. The universe just wanted the two of you together. That's why you were here now, back with your family. You were unconscious, but Chopper reported that you should wake up soon.

Nami, Ussop, and Franky had wanted to strap you down as you woke up, just to make sure everyone remained safe, but Luffy refused. 

Your eyes fluttered open, and the first thing you saw was Monkey D. Luffy’s stupid grin. Your arm pulled back and sprang forward to punch him, but steel swords blocked your path before you could connect with the pirate’s face. 

Luffy pushed Zoro out of the way, not realizing what you had attempted to do. “Hey, Zoro! Don’t hurt her!” You took the opportunity to swing again, this time making contact with the captain’s face. 

Ussop and Franky were on you in an instant, vines and cords wrapping around your body to restrain you. “You scum pirate!” You shrieked, eyes wide with rage. “Let me go!”

Chopper sedated you, and ran tests to see what was happening. You were perfectly healthy, besides obvious memory loss/alteration. The crew was happy you were physically okay, at least.

Luffy sat by your side while you slept, combing your hair with his fingers. He whispered all the adventures you went on, hoping they would jog your memory unconsciously. But when you woke up, you tried to attack him again, and this time the crew had to put restraints on you to keep you tied to the bed. Luffy just stood back in horror, watching everyone else take action. He was frozen in disbelief, and he wanted to desperately wake up from this nightmare scenario. 

You had to be heavily sedated for several days before you finally stayed calm enough for a conversation. You would talk to anyone but Luffy, who stood in the corner of the room, just staring at the ground. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, but it hurt his heart so much to stay. It was one of the longest times the crew went without seeing him smile. 

The Strawhat crew deduced that the Marines had used some kind of devil fruit power to alter your memory. It seemed love was replaced with hate; the more you loved a person, the more you hated them now. All of your adventures were replaced with Marine ideology. You didn’t want to believe them, but there was a small portion of your mind that could see they were telling the truth. 

--

Luffy is a man of action, and he immediately wants to solve this problem. He’s already trying to get Nami to reroute to the Navy headquarters, ready to smash any person who gets in the way. 

The crew talks some sense into him, at least a little bit. They don’t know who did this to you or where that person is now. Time for smashing can come later, but they need information before they go on a blind rampage and someone else ends up getting hurt. 

After everyone leaves the room, he’s the only one that remains in the room. His face is darkened, full of pain. 

“You really don’t remember us?” He refuses to look at you while he asks the question. His hands are balled into fists, and his body is rigid and tight. “You don’t remember me?”

Oh I know you. I despise you. But you can't bring yourself to tell him what you’re thinking. He looks so broken over your reactions to him, and you know in your gut that he’s important to you. “Tell me the stories.”

And he does. He sits by your bedside and he tells you every story he can think of. He starts with the first time you two met, and he talks for hours. You’re not entirely sure you believe all his stories, but he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would lie for no reason. 

He tells you stories of the Sunny, and the stories of your alls relationship. He talks about the first time he held your hand, when he kissed you, when he realized he loved you. Your cheeks burned whenever those stories came up, refusing to believe you could love a pirate like him. But he talked about it all without shame, he either didn’t notice your embarrassment or didn’t care.

Halfway through his stories, he realized you’re still restrained. He bends over to take them off, continuing his stories as he works. You’re baffled by this decision, especially since he’s in here alone with you, but you hold back your urge to attack him for now.

When he’s done, you rub your wrists and flex them. They’re sore from being strapped down so long. He sees you doing that and takes one of your wrists in his hands to massage it as if it’s second nature. 

You pull away from him, and you can see the hurt in his eyes as he mutters an apology and continues his story of your alls adventures. There’s significantly less pep in his voice after you reject him, but he still keeps the story going.

Dinner is called during his story, so he pauses and he invites you to come with him. His stomach growls as you all walk to dinner, and he realizes this has probably been the longest time he’s gone between meals. He was so caught up in talking to you, he forgot to eat. 

You go with him to dinner, and the strawhats all eye you, but nobody says anything. They talk over plans and ideas on how to get your memory back. You say nothing, you just listen to them try to plan something. 

After dinner he continues telling you their story, finishing at the point where they lost you to the navy. 

He keeps finding things to talk about though, his nervous energy spilling out into the room. He doesn’t want you to kick him out, and he doesn’t want to leave you to another Strawhat to watch over. He knows they’ll restrain you, and that’s the last thing he wants for you to go through.

He finally falls asleep in the chair, his head resting on your bed beside you. You know your orders are to execute the Strawhats, and this is the best moment you’ll ever get to take out the captain. But you can’t bring yourself to harm him, and you know deep down, there’s at least some truth in the stories he told you. 

Law

Law hated these moments. These moments when he was reminded just how fragile a human body was. How fragile you were. 

An explosion had caught you off guard and sent you flying, and you were just outside of his Room perimeter. He had tried to expand it to catch you, but he hadn’t made it in time. And now you were paying for it. He had rushed you back to the ship, and performed a full scan to find a major head injury and internal trauma. The internal trauma was easy enough to fix, but brains were such fickle things. 

He hoped -prayed even- that you would wake up. After three days, he sat by your side, waiting for your eyes to open. He longed for that sweet smile to grace your lips again, to see that look in your eyes that always made his stomach knot into a ball of butterflies. 

On the fourth day, your eyes flicked open, and he rushed over to meet you. He wanted to be the first thing you saw. 

Fear. That's what he saw in your eyes. “Y/N-ya,” he whispered, moving towards you. “You’re safe.”

You scrambled away from him, almost falling off the bed in the process. “Who are you? Where am I?”

“It’s okay.” Law’s voice was steady, but he stopped moving towards you. Amnesia was common amongst patients when they came out of a coma. He had prepared for this possibility, and he knew it was better to stick to the basic facts. “You’re on a ship, you’ve been traveling with us for a while. I’m Trafalgar Law, the ship’s doctor. You had an accident, but you’re safe now.”

“No, no.” You shake your head, confused. “I was just at home, in the North Blue. I don’t know you. I don’t know where I am.”

His heart constricts, and he tries not to let his disappointment and fear show. Over two years of your memory was just…gone? Slight amnesia before an accident was common, but long term like this was not a good sign.

--

First he asks you to recall what you remember. He lets you ask questions, and he fills you in on how you got to join the Heart Pirates. 

You were super opposed to pirates when you first met Law, and that personality has returned. He tries not to be too upset over it, but it feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest. 

He doesn’t tell you about your relationship, and he forbids his crew to tell you about it as well. He knows how confusing everything is for you right now, and he knows it would be selfish to add a relationship to the mix. 

You request to depart the crew at the next island. You don’t want to be a pirate, and honestly you’re not even sure how you became one in the first place. You can see the pain on his face, and he starts to argue with you, but he stops himself. “Leave if you want to. I’m not going to hold you against your will.” He can’t look you in the eye after that, though.

He still brings you your favorite food, gives you your favorite books to reread while you’re sailing. He doesn’t speak to you much, or even stick around in your space for long, but he brings you something at least once a day. You can't help but note how well the captain knows you. 

You mention this to a few crewmates, and note how nice it must be to have a captain who’s so attentive to everyone’s likes and dislikes. They all exchange glances, trying to weigh if they should say something or not. 

Finally Penguin speaks up. “Well, he’s not quite as attentive to us as he is to you.” You give him a nervous laugh and ask him to explain. Nobody really speaks up, and you get irritated with all the secrecy.

You storm into Law’s office. “Why do you know so much about me?” Your question takes him by surprise, and you can see he's taken aback by your question.

“I’m a good captain,” he finally stutters out. “Bullshit,” you shoot back. But he insists that's all there is to it, and you know the conversation is over. 

You seek out Penguin again, and corner him into telling you what everyone else already knows. You and the captain have a history. And a long, complicated one at that. 

You return to your captain’s office, but stop yourself before you barge in. You stand outside his door for a long time, debating on what to do with this new information from Penguin. 

You’re about to leave when the door opens, and you find yourself face to face with the man that you apparently love. Both of you stare at each other for a few seconds, saying nothing. You realize it’s the first time you’ve looked him in his eyes since that first day you woke up on the ship. His eyes are a soft amber color, and the light dances across them, making his pupils seem alive, flowing with movement. 

Law finally breaks the silence. “Is there something you need?” He hasn’t said your name since that first day, and you miss hearing it for some reason. 

“I’d like to stay, if that’s okay. On the crew, I mean.” You didn’t know those words were going to come out of your mouth, but you’re happy they do. Though he tries to hide it, Law’s eyes light up, and you catch a brief smile on his lips. 

Internally, Law’s heart soars. He spent so many days sick with worry thinking he was going to lose you, but you’re still the same person you were deep down. He’s holding back tears of relief knowing you aren’t going to leave him. “Of course, Y/N-ya. You are always welcome here.”

You don’t know if your memory will ever come back, but you find yourself hoping it does.

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

I’ve been thinking lately about how much the ‘curse of Ymir’ really does affect the psyche of each of the nine shifters and how it impacts the ending of the story.

Up until the end of Season 3/Chapter 87-88, the reader and the viewer have no idea that the shifters have a limited amount of time to live. They seem to possess this god-like power and they can rejuvenate and survive almost any injury. They seem unstoppable.

This is what motivates Erwin to create a plan to take one of the nine shifter powers with the serum- having another Titan in your arsenal would make a difference in winning the war.

But what the Paradisians don’t know is how holding the power of the Nine just perpetuates a cycle of violence and cruelty. It’s a curse as much as it is a power. No matter how brilliant or grand your scope is for what you can do with this near limitless power, you have to contend with the fact that you will only have thirteen years to do it.

This revelation to me is the what colors the entire last arc of the story leading into and after the time skip.

For Zeke, it amps up the level of desperation he has for accomplishing the euthanization plan- relying on Eren was still a variable that was largely unpredictable, and he trusted him more than he probably would have if he weren’t running out of time.

Going back further in the story, it retroactively explains why Ymir (of the cadet corps) would go back with Reiner and Bertholdt at all- a seemingly nonsensical choice when it seems she has something to live for in her relationship with Krista/Historia. But Ymir knows she has little time left. She has no future. So she chooses to surrender.

For Annie, it shows her desperation to get back to her father, a man who showed her very little affection, and yet if she could just make it back maybe she could live at least a year or two with him and make at least one happy memory with the man who raised her to kill.

Armin, I honestly feel the most for, because what he and everyone else thought of as his salvation, was actually just saddling him with a curse. And heaps of responsibility to try and be grateful for it. He went from a character with a singular and wholesome conviction, to someone wracked with guilt and forced to solve the world’s problems with limited time and resources.

In Reiner’s case, I actually think the fact that he knows he is going to die is the only thing actually keeping him alive in the tail end of the story. He wants so badly to face retribution for his deeds, and he can only find the strength to keep towing the line because he knows his violent demise is guaranteed.

Characters like Pieck and Bertholdt seem to accept their lot in life- but deal with this internally and develop their own sense of morals despite it- albeit in different ways and in Pieck’s case with a shade of pessimism. Falco and Marcel stand out as a characters who see the farce for what it is- but still want to subject themselves to it in order to prevent someone they love from suffering through it in their place.

Eren, though, it’s easy to see how discovering he has already lived more of his life in powerless ignorance than what he has left is what ultimately causes the collapse in his character. Combine that with the way that he sees ‘future memories’ and doesn’t see any future beyond his own, and suddenly you have a naturally impulsive and violent person living in the most fatalistic reality ever. It makes perfect sense that his fall from grace is near immediate and precipitous.

What difference does all that power make if all it means is that you become a tool for destruction with no future? That you will be forced to curse someone else so that this cruel power will continue to exist? That is the true legacy of Ymir and the Eldian Empire- you can have near limitless power, but you will never have true control over your own life.

And it makes for such interesting discussions and questions about power and mortality and agency- and all the seemingly ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to respond to their dilemma.

Anyway, it is always ‘thinking about the moral quandary of the titan shifters’ hours around here…

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

Honkai Star Rail A/B/O: Bonding

Characters: Blade, Jing Yuan, Welt, and Luocha as Alphas.

CW: omegaverse

A/N: Did you say more a/b/o? No? Too late! >:P

-------

Blade

Least likely to bond and or it takes a loooooong period of time before he claims and bonds with his omega due to many factors.

His ultimate goal is to one day die and bonding with someone could get in the way with that even if he desperately wants to. There’s also the fact that with his death his partner could suffer from the loss through their broken bond and he doesn’t wish to cause them distress.

He’d have to have a ton of trust, love, and a desire to live for his partner to even consider bonding with them. Once he does bond with them, though his goal remains the same, he sticks by their side till the bitter end.

His bond mark is on their left shoulder as it’s his favorite spot to bite as it’s relatively easy to access from behind or from in front.

Renews his claim during his ruts or if his omega needs reassurance he plans to stay with them for as long as possible.

Will indulge his omega if they wish to try to claim him too though he prefers to be the one doing the biting.

Jing Yuan

Another one that takes sometime to solidify their bond with their omega.

This isn’t due to his fear of leaving them behind like Blade but rather some worry of his omega leaving before him. Long lived species like himself will of course outlive their shorter lived partners and while as an Alpha he might be able to bond with as many omegas as he wishes with little consequence that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

He’s lost many precious to him, both long and short lived, so he wants to be sure that whoever he’s choosing to bond with will stay for as long as possible.

Once he’s sure in his decision he doesn’t hesitate to bond with his partner. His bond mark is on the middle back of their neck since it was his favorite spot to nip and tease.

He doesn’t renew his claim often but he does playfully nip it like he used to when he first became their partner.

Encourages his omega to claim him too and to renew the marks they leave behind regularly.

Welt

Takes a bit longer to decide to bond with his partner due to the fact he needs them to know his past and about his son. Once he trusts them with that information and they accept it he might still hesitate to form a bond.

It isn’t due to a lack of trust, obviously, but he’s still a bit insecure about his age. He’s not getting any younger and he does worry about leaving before his omega and leaving them with the fallout of that broken bond. But once he properly discusses it with his partner and knows that this is truly something they want he’ll go through with it with a warm smile.

Places his bond on the back of their neck as well as it can be hidden away by their clothes to be a bit discrete. Gets flustered when his omega claims him back but loves knowing they want him back.

Luocha

I’d say he’s either the fastest to bond with his omega because he knows what he wants or he chooses not to bond with them at all.

He of course discusses it with his omega during their courting letting them know early on he’d like to bond at some point though he does let them know that if they don’t wish to bond with him it wouldn’t change anything.

He knows he’s not the most stable of Alphas with his constant traveling but he knows what he wants and is willing to provide for them regardless of what they choose.

If they allow him to bond with them he’ll be over the moon. He chooses to bite the right side as that’s where he tends to tuck his head when he basks in their scent.

Open to letting his omega claim him though he’ll tease them a bit for wanting to do so.

[cer-rata]

I did it, I finished the fic.

Cover by the amazing @nicodrawings

It's 109k and fully complete, welcome to my oc's first cursed, sappy adventure.

"Heart of Gotham"

Fandom: Detective Comics

Rating: T M

Summary:

Conrad Bishop thinks he knows who he is: A nerd, a goof, a coward. But heartbreak comes along to destroy that version of him. As he shatters, an alien ring decides that the depth of his pain has the potential to forge him into a potent Star Sapphire. While grief may be a devastatingly powerful form of love, can he survive on it alone? Maybe not. But it’s what he thinks deserves.

Everyone thinks they know who Damian Wayne is: A prince, a pariah, a hero. The truth is worse. No one thinks he’s easy to love, and he agrees. It’s fine. He doesn’t need it, he’s got duty and a body to spend in service of it until there’s nothing left to hate. But sometimes? Sometimes he wonders if that’s all he can be.

By chance they share the same science class, and--for better or worse--that's all it takes to send them on a path that neither of them would have ever dared to consider.

Love conquers all.

...Maybe

Excerpt:

Damian started changing out of his uniform and Conrad awkwardly looked away. He cleared his throat. “Hey, so, I’ve been thinking…”

“Hmm?” Damian grunted as he unclasped and slid his tunic off.

“Well, you used the ring to save me, right? But you know...the whole bit is that if you want to heal someone you have to…uh. You'd…you'd have to love--"

“Philia.” Damian cut in quickly.

“Did…did you--was that a slur?”

“…No! Philia is the Greek concept of love between friends. That’s what the ring was pulling from.” It was mostly true. It was mostly philia. Mostly.

Conrad considered that for a moment, then beamed. “Oh. Oh! So you admit it? You think we’re friends?”

Damian finished pulling a hoodie on and turned to squint at him. “How are you this stupid.”

“Oh my god you do!”

“If you’re like this for the entire ride back, there is a high likelihood that I will change my--oh come on!” Damian complained fruitlessly as he had to endure yet another hug. “I should have let you bleed out.” He hissed, and Conrad just laughed.

“I love you too, buddy.”

A tip of the hat:

Before I get into anything else, again the cover and reference sheet were done by the amazing @nicodrawings. She's terrific, professional, easy to work with (and I am ANNOYING), and I think the quality speaks for itself. Her art is tremendous and her covers are maybe the highest quality I've seen from an indie artist.

And those colors.

Her commissions are open right now and she's making a fan comic that looks so cool, and she does all this other cool stuff. Check her out, okay?

Concepts, Themes, and Character Focus

The core questions I wanted to ask were:

"Can two broken people ever be good for each other?"

"Can you actually move past the pain of loss?"

"How do you love someone?"

I love Lantern lore, and Star Sapphires specifically. Maybe too much

I was fascinated by a Corps that represented love but was usually fueled by despair and anguish instead, and wielded one of the harder to control colors of the Emotional Spectrum. So I decided to create one from scratch and place them in Earth's most notorious tragedy factory: Gotham City.

Conrad is shamelessly emotional and ruled by his affections, and was like that even before the ring. The only son of a pair of Haitian immigrants, Conrad grew up feeling very loved, and even his parents terrible handling of his attempt to come out wasn't enough to shake that. But his parents never really pushed him, and his easy-going nature meant he didn't develop a lot of self determination. Then he suffers an incredibly traumatizing loss, and suddenly his carefully laid carpet of normalcy and avoidance is torn up to reveal some structural problems underneath.

Damian is emotional and ruled by his affections, and is a little ashamed of it. He also felt loved when he was growing up, but unlike Conrad, much of the love he received was in the form of praise for his success, which had the unfortunate effect of making him seek approval in ways that were often unhelpful, most often to himself. He's tried so hard, and done so much work to be a better person, and he's even accumulated a group of peers who adore him. But he's still lonely, has trouble accepting his own progress, and the guilt he carries making new connections difficult.

Everyone is a couple of years older than they are in canon, which I did to make the content more appropriate, and also so I could play with the ambiguity of those three undocumented years, and hand wave away some of the more...uncharitable parts of canon without having to rewrite everything. This is Damian still on his early Rebirth character track, before the many resets to his character development. He's still harsh and somewhat antisocial, but he's also older, more mellow, and has worked through a couple of things. He's settled enough to allow for some honest introspection.

I didn't initially plan for this to be a love story, but their internal conflicts were complimentary and their deepest wishes slotted together so neatly that the direction felt natural. They cover many of each other's weaknesses and blind spots, while making some of their other hangups worse.

The romance isn't even the critical part really, it's just the way they end up expressing emotional intimacy. They are friends first, and that's what holds everything together. It's all about them showing up for each other in ways that are sometimes difficult, and the fact that they always will, regardless of whether they're in a relationship or not.

It's an awkward, intense, teen relationship, and it's not always a good thing for either of them--even before factoring in cosmic super weapons and secret identities.

Also, there are... a lot of cameos and odd side characters.

[budd-ie]

Desperately need to break down two people and one cup of water because I have like 10 drafts about xianle trio that I Can't Post because they all feed off of conclusions from each of their answers, except we haven't established what those conclusions are yet. So this is where that starts.

I once had a wake up in a cold sweat realization (the first of many) that the three of them represent three different paths in their respective answers, and how these answers give us so much insight into who they really are and how they typically act. And I realize this is probably a very basic and prevalent thing (especially come book 3) but I haven't seen it broken down recently, so I'd like to. But mostly I need it as my context and support for my other future claims or else they might not make any sense haha. So I’ll be relating these answers directly to events in book 3. Let's get into it.

“Two walked the desert, about to die from thirst, and there was only one cup of water. The one who drinks lives, the one who doesn’t dies. If you were a god, who would you give that cup of water to— don’t speak yet, I’ll ask the other two and see how they answer.”

Mu Qing's answer:

“May I ask who those two people are, what their natures are like, and of their merits? A decision can only be made once all the details are known.”

Feng Xin's answer:

“I don’t know! Don’t ask me—tell them to decide amongst themselves!”

Xie Lian's answer:

“Give them another cup."

TLDR:

When faced with a choice such as this...

Xie Lian will try to save both parties at all costs, even if that cost is himself. His sense of justice is the strongest above all and believes that innocent people should never have to suffer.

Feng Xin will put someone else in charge of the choice and act on their behalf. He isn't as good at making decisions, and feels most comfortable standing behind someone else he trusts.

Mu Qing will choose whatever option brings the best/most desirable outcome that is within his control without sacrificing himself. He is a logical thinker above all else and is used to making moral sacrifices to find the optimal yet most realistic outcome of a situation.

(Book 3 and some book 6 spoilers ahead)

We know that Xie Lian's desire to expand the resource is beautiful but impossible, and we know that giving equal amounts of half the cup of water to both people will still leave them both as dead as not giving it at all. We also know that he learned his lesson the hard way and doesn't stop learning it even 800 years later. We know how Xianle fell and we know that it was doomed from the beginning; there was no saving it, but even if there was, he would have to choose between Xianle and Yong'an. Finally, we know that when he has nothing left to give, he will give himself up for the outcome he desires. We spend so much time with Xie Lian that I won't focus on trying to prove what's already been proven. Instead, I'll focus on the other two.

Mu Qing's answer is unpalatable to most people, because it sounds like he accepts being put in charge of answering the question "who deserves to live and who deserves to die?" It's easy to judge him for his willingness to make these kinds of sacrifices, but this is the exact nature of the question, and the exact situation they find themselves in so often. By both this answer and patterns within his actions, I think Mu Qing can best be described as an extremely logical thinker who will choose whatever option brings the best/most desirable outcome without sacrificing himself too far. That doesn't mean he'll never push his luck, but this is the algorithmic way we most often see him thinking.

By the terms of the riddle, the most logical option is that one person gets water and one person doesn’t, and the giver will decide who gets it to avoid conflict. And Mu Qing doesn’t choose randomly, either; he wants to choose based on their characters, their backgrounds, their merits, etc. So the other two may be treating everyone equally, but sometimes that’s just not within your control. Mu Qing is an incredibly logical person, so to optimize the good that can come from this action, he will make the choice. It’s not easy, and could end either way, but at least someone is guaranteed to live. In fact, this is the only outcome in which someone is guaranteed to live. I'll summarize some other examples of his thought process in the future, but I'll focus on the most relevant example for now.

In book 3, Mu Qing is the first one to suggest cursing Yong’an with human face disease in order to save Xianle. A "despicable" choice as they conclude, but Xie Lian, I will add, does thoroughly consider his suggestions before declining, and while the persuasion is ineffective, it isn't 100% ineffective. In the end though, Xie Lian is weighing the option of “people in the capital probably live and the people of Yong’an as well as the dead suffer for it” and he isn’t willing to make this bargain in the end. He doesn’t know if it could backfire and isn’t satisfied with the amount of bad that could come from it. Mu Qing, on the other hand, is adamant about this decision and gets frustrated that Xie Lian won’t make it. He's even excited about his answer, not because he wants people to die, but because he found themselves a viable way out. It feels so easy to him, because he’s weighing the net good of “we fucking live” and “we fucking die.” Turns out living is a lot more appealing than dying, especially for a character who canonically loves his life and is terrified of death. Isn’t this the same mindset as the rest of the common people?

I've established before that Xie Lian is not the common people. Growing up poor though, Mu Qing is like, common people extraordinaire. Unlike Xie Lian, he’s long since accepted that not everybody can be saved, not everybody can be placated, some people are good and nice and some people suck and are not. Mu Qing is used to making sacrifices for the greater good, ignoring morality to a digestible extent, because it’s something that common people have to do to get by. This situation reminds me of this quote from when the townsfolk are getting admonished for mutilating themselves to get rid of human face disease:

“Your Highness is invincible, so of course you'd call us foolish. But aren’t our conditions so desperate that we had no choice but to try foolish methods?!”

And maybe we fixate a lot on “not everybody can be saved” but I think what matters to Mu Qing is more that some people can be saved. Why are we dawdling doing good because it’s not enough good? Don’t we learn from this that just one person enough? Mu Qing understands that in order to have a chance at saving themselves a decision must be made, and he tries to make his point clear when he says the following:

“Before they reach their bad end, we will have already perished! You don’t have a third path and there is no second cup of water. Wake up, Your Highness! You’re running out of time.”

The amount of suffering the common people have endured until now allows the average person to surpass the moral debacle and choose life above all else. Why did Xie Lian try to steal during his first banishment? Because he was so desperate to save himself and his family that morality became the lesser merit. When faced with the threat of human face disease and the solution of killing just one person to save themselves, the people who stab Xie Lian live, and the one who refuses the decision dies a horrible death. Does Mu Qing make a little more sense now? He saw not only a way to survive, but the expected solution to the problem, and he jumped at it. We as the audience can fixate on the moral implications of his decisions because we aren’t the ones making the decisions, nor are we affected by either outcome.

Speaking of a person not making decisions, this is where Feng Xin becomes relevant. His answer is to make no decision at all, leave it up to them to decide who drinks and who doesn't. While he's absolved from the moral quandary, this path doesn't really solve anything. There might be a chance where they choose peacefully who should drink, but it's much more realistic to expect them to slaughter each other over the resource before either of them have the chance to drink it.

So when faced with a major decision like this, what is Feng Xin most likely to do?

Entrust it to someone else, like Xie Lian.

As much as I love him, our poor boy's arrows are a bit sharper than he is. What’s he doing while Xie Lian and Mu Qing talk about curses?

At first, Feng Xin had listened to their argument glumly, and because he couldn’t contribute any better ideas, he didn’t join in.

Not a whole lot. Actually, he stands silently until Mu Qing insults Xie Lian. After that, he shoves Mu Qing back and suddenly starts going off on him, saying things like

“With an apathetic person like him, you don’t usually see any sign that he actually cares about the Kingdom of Xianle. But now suddenly he’s anxious?”

and especially:

“You really think I can’t tell that you think His Highness is a fool? I can tolerate your sarcasm and those rolling eyes, I can tolerate you always standing where you shouldn’t in the Upper Court. You like to show off and it’s hardly the first time you’ve pulled this shit, so fine, go show off, you’re not good enough to wow the heavens anyway. His Highness doesn’t mind, so I don’t give a shit either. But since you’re gonna cross the line, I’m not gonna hold back. Listen up! I’m not surprised you’d leap at the chance to use despicable means, but His Highness is His Highness—no matter what he decides, you better respect it. Don’t you dare be so critical, and don’t forget who the fuck you are!”

This is only an excerpt of the rant because the first part isn't as relevant but this whole scene is so crazy. Crazy because it's so raw (that last line is so jaw dropping to me like actually. If someone said all that to me I’d go rogue) and also because it tells us so much about them.

First, "despicable" is actually a word Xie Lian used earlier when he said the following:

“Absolutely not! Don’t forget what we called them when they attacked the innocent civilians of the capital: despicable. If we do the same thing, won’t we become just as despicable? How would we be any different?”

Which means this isn't completely Feng Xin's own judgment. Right now, he's just using Xie Lian's opinion as an in to justify his own personal rage. Xie Lian isn't even calling Mu Qing despicable; he fully believes in Mu Qing, understands how he came to his conclusion, and doesn't blame him for having a temper (he already knows he's sensitive and prone to it, he defends him saying he’s “just anxious over the current situation”). While we do know it definitely reflects Feng Xin's moral opinion on attacking innocents (“If it really was them, then I’ll lose respect for them. Fight honestly on the battlefield if you have the ability; don’t use shady tricks to harm innocent civilians!”), it's less reflective of his intentions in this specific instance.

Second, this whole rant is fueled by nothing but pent up rage that was sparked by Mu Qing insulting Xie Lian, giving him a hard time, and going against his decision. Feng Xin judges him hard for his "despicable" choice, but Feng Xin doesn't even have any other opinions on how to solve the actual problem at hand. His opinion is whatever Xie Lian decides, for his highness is so smart and virtuous, clearly that must be the right one, especially when compared to that of a humble servant.

But what would Feng Xin do if Xie Lian decided Mu Qing was right? What if Xie Lian decided that they desperately needed to curse all Yong'an citizens to die so Xianle might be able to live? Would this still be a despicable decision to Feng Xin if Xie Lian decided it wasn't so bad? I have reason to believe that his sense of morality, though great, may be slightly lesser than his sense of loyalty (assuming the person he is loyal to is virtuous and acceptable to him, such is Xie Lian). This is supported by how in the revised book 6 scene, Feng Xin doesn’t leave because he’s questioning Xie Lian’s morality, he leaves because Xie Lian relieves him of his duty and he obeys the order. He’s surprised when this happens and seems hesitant, despite it all. While we don’t really have any specific instance testing this hypothetical, my hypothesis is that any moral complications he could have would come after acting on his highness's word, and if Xie Lian said this was the right choice, he would rationalize it (I also think there’s a graph with an intersection between his morality and loyalty after which morality will start surpassing loyalty when the situation is pushed far enough to warrant it). In any case, the consequences of their actions will not fall on Feng Xin's shoulders, so he doesn't think too hard about the implications of the actions, he just excels at following orders from the boss; that's why its so easy for him to make these judgments.

I also think this explains the way he acts during book 1 where he always looks like he has something to say and never chooses to, always looking just a little lost at what he’s supposed to be doing. He’s given a choice of talk to Xie Lian or not talk to him, but he genuinely doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do and can’t figure it out on his own, so he chooses the safe option of doing nothing. He’s always looked towards Xie Lian to make decisions, but he doesn’t have that anymore. We actually see him start getting more confident in decision making as the book goes on, like when he congratulated him for his 3000 lanterns (I like how he doesn’t question where they came from though!).

Anyways, I forgot how important book 3 was for characterization of these three because everything they do can be drawn back here. The number one reason I like this story is the way every single character is so individual and has very specific motivations and personalities that can and will clash in very specific ways with other characters, which is how a lot of the conflicts arise in the first place (instead of throwing people at a plot and hoping they can carry it). It makes it so interesting when you know why they act the way they do. Also, this isn't a complete character summary by any means, there’s obviously more to these fellas that I didn’t talk about. I can think of other instances that support these conclusions, but because this is already such a long post maybe I'll make a masterlist or something and link them when I finish them (thanks!)

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

Warnings: swearing, major mentions of death and violence, spoilers, death of children, mental illness, mentions of previous torture. 

a/n: with the hunger games resurgance, I want to continue writing for these characters. I absolutely loved this series so much, it was an innate part of my teenage years. 

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

🌿ESTP 🍁Slytherin 📜Chaotic Neutral 🔮Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Aries Rising  

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:    

Dance Me To The End Of Love by The Civil Wars (they featured on the song with Taylor Swift in the first movie)

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿  

・You were never reaped, and never knew the personal/immediate experience of having to kill someone. However, your oldest brother was in the Hunger Games, a few years after Johanna. So, you knew the pain of losing a loved one. 

・Helping each other transition into a world where the Hunger Games no longer exists

・In a world where the Capitol doesn’t rule with an iron fist 

・After the events of Coin’s death, Katniss and Peeta go to district 12 to live out their days in peace

・Johanna still plagued by the torture and trauma she endured, didn’t know what to do. 

・No family, no friends, so she hid herself in the apartment that Commander Paylor gave to her (all living victors were given an apartment. But the catch was that they had to go through therapy)

・Johanna refused to go to the appointments. She was adamant that it was stupid, it wouldn’t help. 

・And she drowned in her own sadness 

・It took her 3 months to begrudgingly go to an appointment

・It was a group therapy session. Katniss and Peeta weren’t there as they lived in District 12 and didn’t live off of Paylor’s generosity

・It was a small group, and when Johanna looked around at the other victors, she saw herself. Hurt. Broken...the feeling of something that was taken and they could never get it back

・You were apart of the healers. Not a therapist, but a protegee underneath Ms Everdeen - yes, Katniss’ mother

・She shined in the Capitol; given the best treatment for everything she suffered 

・And you were lucky enough to be her assistant. 

・Learning the art of healing wasn’t easy

・But the opportunity was too good to let pass by 

・Ms Everdeen was a quiet woman, but when she taught, there was a light that began to shine. With each comment, lesson, tutorial and experience - she began to glow and glow. 

・But you soon learnt that bringing up either of her daughters was... bad. Her light dimmed whenever their names were mentioned; even talking about the plants was difficult for her. 

・She loved Prim, her youngest who looked like her. Who never judged her, only had love in her heart for everyone. Katniss was so distant, it felt like a death

・Johanna felt safe with Ms Everdeen. It was an interesting dynamic. She somewhat... stepped into a maternal role for the young victor. A role that Johanna desperately wanted filled but would never admit

・That’s how you met Johanna; in all her hardened exterior. Someone unloved but not unlovable. 

・Your relationship started off very clumsily; she saw you as another therapist - therefore an enemy. 

・You didn’t take much of a liking to her either 

・It was a conscious effort to be curteous 

・And Ms Everdeen pushed you toward Johanna

・Call it a mother’s intuition 

・And that intuition spurred a tight friendship. Johanna eased into your company (not without a fight) 

・You showed her moments into your world and in response, she displayed glimpses into her own

・And then you formed a tight bond. Best friends. Always doing things together, eating, spending all your free time with her

・You even inspired her to go to the therapy appointments 

・And although there were a few hiccups along the way, Johanna started to heal

・From then on she wanted to know what this new world had to offer

・ You both explored what the new Panem was, how Paylor had changed the old ways into something new. A united nation, where everyone reaped the benefits of food, shelter and safety. 

・There were no games after the rebellion. Paylor made sure of that:

   “We didn’t let people sacrifice their lives for a world where we go on sacrificing. We are one now. Panem will never be the same.” 

・Now with a new sense of freedom, you saw a change in Johanna. You knew what it was - hope

・This newfound hope made Johanna realise that ... she could do whatever she wanted. There wasn’t a reason why she couldn’t. She had survived. 

・The very next hour, she had walked right up to you and kissed you fiercely 

・It wasn’t the best place to snog; right in front of Ms Everdeen, but when you pulled apart you glimpsed over at her and saw her smile 

・Being with Johanna is like the like winter. Having a fire to keep yourself warm is cosy but when it gets out of hand - it will leave you with nothing but ashes. 

・You moved in together, a three bedroom apartment that wasn’t too far from Ms Everdeen’s place. You both felt too guilty leaving her.

・Once there was a time that you invited Peeta and Katniss to come and stay, but Peeta wrote back that Katniss wasn’t ready. 

・As a partner, Johanna is hot-headed but also playful and teasing

・She loves ruffling your feathers (never too much though, she never wants to push you away)

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔  

Complete And Utter Badass, Rather Monstrous (Johanna) x Their Ray Of Light Who Has Them Wrapped Around Their Finger (You)

Confident & Flirty (Johanna) x Has Never Been Flirted With Before, Thinks They're Just Being Nice (You)

Snarky Power Couple That Can, And Probably Will, Destroy You

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆  

You Make Me Want To Be A Better Person

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒆𝒕 𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖

At first it was your last name. She would say it with such coldness, and unkindness. A forced tone that she used. On the outside she hated you, and yet on the inside... she had a burning passion for you. Through the progression of your relationship, you could tell how she felt about you with how she said your last name. 

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆

Acts of Service and Quality Time. 

Johanna hates all that sappy lovey-dovey talk, and she’s still healing with the aspect of physical touch. So the way she shows her affection is through doing things for you and spending time with you. And then she starts to do those little signs of affection; kisses on the cheek, moving hair out of your face, wiping any food from your mouth etc. PDA is pretty much a no no. But when someone tries ANYTHING with you, then she will kiss you so hard, showing that you’re hers. She’s very protective ... well possessive, over you. 

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 🔞minors dni!

・The first few times you had sex with Johanna, it was angry sex. The kind where you barely kiss each other, and the headboard is banging, and it doesn’t last too long. Then afterwards it’s not spoken about

・It was difficult, in all honesty. Because you felt used

・But Johanna was trying to hide a part of herself. A deeper part that she’s hidden behind a wall of imenetrable steel. A wall only she can knock down. 

・So it took time - 

・But in that time, you expressed your discomfort at the lack of a deeper connection

・And your relationship was put on hold for a bit until Johanna could open up to you. 

・Your relationship progression made sex more and more softer, intimate, slower. 

・She wasn’t so rough

・And you realised she would barely kiss you during sex. But now, with her walls down, she couldn’t stop kissing you 

・Johanna’s lips were warm, but still with an edge of savagery. Nips here and there, she loves leaving marks, bruises, and hickies.

・She likes leaving them where other’s can see - 

・Johanna needs people to know that you’re taken

・A big thing with her is foreplay. She loves making you whine, beg for more. 

・SHE LOVES TO TEASE

・Sex toys? Yes. Vibrators, strap ons, dildos, anal beads etc. She would own the lot (and you guys keep everything in your ‘sex’ drawer)

[syzygyzip]

The Soul Still Burns: Analysis of the Lords of Cinder (DS3)

What follows is a short essay on the Lords of Cinder from Dark Souls 3, exploring their symbolism on spiritual and metatextual levels. After that is a related reading of Slave Knight Gael, the final adversary of the Dark Souls trilogy.

The Lords of Cinder are in many ways the primary adversaries of Dark Souls 3. This title they share, “Lord of Cinder,” refers to a personage who has rekindled the first flame, keeping the cycle of light and dark going.

Cinder is a substance which continues to burn without the presence of fire but does not reduce to ash. So euphemistically, it seems that the Lords are somehow stuck in their process of purification, and the game suggests that the world is stuck along with them; this is why it is the Ashen One’s task to “set them upon their thrones”—to hurry them along and thus allow the world to follow its natural decline. As individual characters, each of these Lords represents a different attitude that complicates and prolongs the cycle.

Through these stubborn Lords the game is commenting on at least two things. On the metaphysical level, it reflects the Buddhist idea that certain attitudes keep people reincarnating over and over again, unable to extricate themselves from the material world of suffering (samsara). While on the metatextual level, the game is suggesting that certain attitudes keep players coming back to Dark Souls again and again, starting new games, making new builds and revisiting old files.

The idea there on the metaphysical side finds an easy analogy in Buddhist doctrine: the “three poisons,” the three root causes of suffering. These are hatred, greed, and delusion. What’s interesting is that these essential vices also fit pretty easily onto the different types of players that are being caricatured by the Lords. We’ll break these correspondences down in a second.

But First: Why Do They Correspond? So we have these sets of three. Three lords, three poisons in Buddhism, three types of Souls players. How convenient. When we analyze art, we sometimes ask, “Huh, is this structure really there, or am I projecting it into the material?” And if the structure is really there, baked into the work, that doesn’t mean that it’s due to developer intention. Archetypal forms sometimes show up in work via an unconscious influence, be it due to the cultural milieu, personal psychology, or some a priori biological disposition of the human being.

And the thing about Dark Souls is that it’s an unusually honest piece of art, in that its creative team allows their own free associations and intuitions to show up in the work without too much self-censorship or questioning. They make space for a mystery to show up on its own terms, and in leaving its riddles unanswered, there is more space for discovery by the people who play it.

It should also be said that cultural ideas persist for a reason. Beneath the ethics and ideology of the people who originally named the Buddhist “three poisons,” there may be something timeless, something perennially descriptive of human nature. If that is the case, then it would make sense for this same triplicity to unfurl itself in other cultural products. So for one reason or another, these three poisons, these addictions, show up diegetically in the characters and are also expressed in player psychology.

I say all this just because sometimes I feel very aware of the disconnect between much of Souls lore discourse and the broader field of mythological study. Since we are gamers first, there may be this tendency to want to “solve” the lore, but that’s not what we’re doing here. Myth functions because it elaborates our experience of the world through affective resonance; it attaches images and characters and stories which help us anchor our own prelinguistic impressions of the world, cultivating our sensitivity there.

Anyway, let’s look at these Lords.

Abyss Watchers Poison: Hatred The lore of the Abyss Watchers is pretty clear: they have an obsessive fixation on the abyss, and are ready to raze an entire town if they suspect abyssal encroachment. This obsession has literally possessed them, as they are now “abyss touched.” Gaze too much into the abyss, etc. They carry such strong contempt for the disavowed object that they don’t care what comes between it and their sword. This is clearly demonstrated by the fact that they are a brotherhood yet are unhesitatingly slaughtering themselves again and again. Hatred has made them blind, and has also caused them to resign their individuality (they are identical, mere instruments of a transpersonal grudge). They cannot die, their hatred keeps them locked in combat.

Type of Player: competitive | Interest: combat The Abyss Watchers are a representation of PvP addicts. They have no powers other than tenacity; they perform the same combos repeatedly. When you are really gripped by a PvP binge in Souls, you often end up doing the same thing again and again. The fight takes place in a mausoleum, on top of many chambers filled with human remains. The fact that this boss fight is instructional about combat, specifically about looking for tells (a cloud of dust always signifies the end of their combos) might be another clue. There is no limit to how good you get at Souls PvP; every foe is an opportunity to improve timing and strategy. You can just keep stacking anonymous bodies under yourself.

Aldrich Poison: Greed Aldrich invokes the concept of supremacy many times: he is in the supreme area from Dark Souls 1; in the supreme boss room of that area; he wears as a crown the former supreme lord of that area. This is because he devours lords; he tries to take prestige upon himself through acquisition and incorporation—greed.

Type of Player: completionist | Interest: content Aldrich is a commentary on completionist players. He is someone who “plays the game to death”, acquiring every object, reaching every achievement, devouring the soul of the game through taking everything into himself. He becomes bloated by consuming as much of the game’s content as possible. The old God whose likeness he has adopted is Gwyndolin, who was, in narrative terms, the one pulling the strings in the land of the Gods. And in gameplay terms, he is a secret boss. So on both counts we have someone who is elusive, and exists more or less at the boundary of the gameworld. When a player tries to see every last little morsel of a game, they become somewhat like Gwyndolin, a manipulator of a virtual world. If you know too much about a game, you have the risk of being less immmersed.

Yhorm Posion: Delusion In Buddhism, the poison of delusion secretly underlies the other two poisons, as the impulse toward hatred and greed are ultimately born of some false view about reality. This is akin to how the profaned capital sits below the rest of the kingdoms. To beat Yhorm you essentially have to “play pretend” with him, picking up a fake super-weapon, or fighting alongside Siegward, a knight who appears to be somewhat deluded about the state of the world, enthralled in the same fantasy as Yhorm himself.

Type of Player: lore researcher | Interest: meaning The profaned capital is full of statues—fixed images of myth; and empty goblets—treasures with no utility. Not to mention the area with the swamp which is full of symbolic imagery, but serves no narrative or mechanical purpose. The entire profaned capital challenges us to make sense of it; it is the ultimate temptation of lorekeepers in DS3. It throws at us a disproportionate amount of reference to DS2, which is famous among Souls players as the least thematically sensible Souls game. The Greatshield of Glory is found right outside Yhorm’s room, in a conspicuous room full of treasure, and yet it is a very impractical shield and offers very little lore value. If a lore-minded player picks it up, it directs them to a legendary personage from the War of Giants, which raises far more questions than it answers. The same is true of much of this area—the Eleanora, the Monstrosities, the Profaned Flame itself—they are all there to get you to speculate. These are the players who come to Souls games again and again, trying to find the “ultimate meaning.” They seek the grail, claim to find it, and then chuck in a pile with the others.

Yhorm's story also imitates the primordial Artorias myth: forsaking his shield in preservation of something more valuable. Other than that Yhorm is largely a cipher when it comes to biography, with a void for a face, which itself epitomizes what must remain at the center of mythology and storytelling: mystery.

Sit Down and Seek Guidance So we have the three reasons that people become fixated on Souls: the combat, the achievements, and the mystery. But there is a fourth lord of cinder boss, who is conceptually apart from these three: the Lothric Twins. They represent yet another kind of person who must keep playing Dark Souls: the developers. Lothric is striving to produce “a worthy heir,” a proper sequel to Dark Souls 1. The Princes are bound to their chamber as the developers are bound to their project, as that is their curse—“but you may rest here too, if you like.” In this context we can see their duality as the dual nature of having to work on the game and also play it to death. The privilege and the loftiness of the promise of a great piece of art (Lothric), and also having to go back "into the trenches" of the work itself (Lorian). Notably, neither of them can walk, they just teleport around. They are stuck at work, trying to bring the new world into being. Also I can’t go this whole essay without mentioning the obvious: that the Ashen One is bringing Lords to their thrones, and we players and developers have to assume our little chairs and couches when we access this world.

Playing Beyond the Point of Pleasure Of course the most extreme example of someone stubbornly remaining in the world no matter what is Slave Knight Gael. He is looking for pigment, which seems to be a euphemism for the substance of humanity (the Dark Soul). He wants to give it to the painter, the world-creator, so that a new world can be made. He is willing to indulge in a wasteland of abject violence for as long as it takes in order to renew something. Ironic that he is probably only prolonging the current world in his obsessive drive to recycle it faster.

Let’s examine the relationship between the figure of the painter and her relationship to Gael. That she is a spiritual entity is obvious: we never see her touch the ground, she is always in an upper room and lifted on a piece of furniture. Among other things, she is a clear metaphor for life springing eternally. A creative child who continues to paint despite kidnapping and imprisonment. She is the heart of the painted world, itself a place that symbolizes the idea of the representation of reality.

I want to make sure this is clear, because it is a bit of a kaleidoscope to consider. Any subject in Dark Souls stands for many things, but something that the painted world specifically represents is the very concept of representation. So of course the places in our imaginations are painted worlds, but so is this physical world of appearance, the maya of mundane reality. Not to mention that a work of art is a painted world, and the game we’re discussing is a painted world. When a work of art is able to recreate itself in itself, we can see this funny effect of mirrors reflecting mirrors infinitely. This results in seemingly inexhaustible symbolic content—there is so much potential to find meaning and create connections. Because Moby Dick represents a work of literature; the Tempest represents a play; Twin Peaks represents a TV show, these works can offer extensive insights not only into their medium but into the nature of reality. In these and other examples, the representation of the medium within the work may or may not be a single subject, but since Dark Souls is formally a game about levels and level design, the painted world is the heart of its self-reflexivity. The painted world can be pointed to as the summary of this fractal device. And the personification of that device, its ambassador to the player, is the painter.

The miracle or divine child is also an archetype familiar to us from Lothric, in their struggle to produce the “worthy heir.” Reality seeks salvation through the appearance of grace. They want it in a clear, incontestable form—to be able to point at it and say, "thank goodness we went through all that, because look, now here is the meaning, here is that which validates all that came before." In the world of Dark Souls 3 the religion of the masses is the Lothric stuff; meanwhile knowledge of the painted world is much more obscure. Lothric’s religion is obviously regulated and hierarchical, while Gael’s devotion to the painter is highly personal and private: he carries around a scrap of painting; he prostrates to a hidden idol in a small chapel; he considers the painter his family. He is emotionally close to the object of his worship.

But whether it’s Lothric or Ariandel, they are anticipating the divine child to redeem the world. As an archetype, the child ultimately represents surprise. The possibility of being delighted by life in its creative novelty. The child as an archetype appears in our own behavior when we do something without any sort of contrivance or mental interference, doing something in the world which doesn’t seem to have come from who we conceive ourselves to be. This is miraculous. Such an action enchants the world, and there is no explaining it, even if it may weave all kinds of stories around itself, retroactively framing things that have led up to it as portents or promises. (Though not exclusive to him, this trait is well-known in characterizations of Christ, and DS3 is clearly indebted to Christian iconography, so do with that what you will). Regardless of the specific cultural invocation, the divine child is a personification of something that happens within the human spirit. TFW you are renewed by a fresh and spontaneous engagement with life.

The grace of the miraculous often comes to us through play. Play is more of an attitude than an activity; the feeling of play may come to us through making a painting, or chatting with a friend, or moving around in a video game. We can play video games idly, competitively, experimentally, creatively, studiously, whatever, the feeling of “play” can show up regardless. We can sit there playing a certain game from a certain motivation, and feel totally rote and joyless, and question, “Why am I doing this?” Or we might sit there and play the same game with the same motivation, feeling totally lit up by it, its purpose to us obvious and self-validating. We are not even questioning why we are doing it, we are enjoying life.

This is really the ground that the miraculous tends to land on. Grace, meaning, and an immanent love of life are more likely to show up when we are in flow and not exercising our capacity for self-assessment. But like everything in life, we mistake the images and objects around us for the feeling of grace. Any given object might only be the catalyst once; it’s not about the object. This is extremely easy to see in cases of acute nostalgia; adults chase enchantment through collecting Zelda memorabilia or going to Disneyland, in pursuit of what kindled their spirit as a child. It was never really the game or the character that was doing it, it was what they were able to access within themselves.

So anyway Gael has yet to realize this. He thinks the Dark Soul is out there in something else. That it will be yielded as a drop if he just kills the right enemy, or 10,000 enemies, or goes to the right place at the right time. You can see that this is something of a synthesis of all the other Buddhist defilements: there are elements of completionism/greed, violence/hatred, mysticism/delusion. There is even the suggestion of the developer of these games again, in that Gael is a “slave,” forced into participation in the world to assist some creative apotheosis. (Isn’t it funny that his weapon is a worn-down executioner’s sword?—whether the person coding or the person playing, we are all “executing” command after command). The thing that really keeps him on the wheel is something beyond any of the player types and their vices; it is almost some sort of pure, amoral automatism, a churning drive that on one side resembles wanton nihilism, and on another side single-minded piousness. Is one disguised as the other, or has Gael somehow stepped beyond this binary? Yet another dichotomy in Dark Souls that begs to be reconciled, but whose tension creates the opportunity to participate creatively in its expansive mythology. When things are held apart we can move between them.

To really understand Gael, we have to contend with the question of a person’s relationship to their own soul, since that relationship is so plainly suggested by Gael and the painter. (This question, by the way, is much elaborated in Elden Ring, with its repeated foregrounding of the image of the maiden or “consort”). If we were to see Gael and the painter as partitions within one person--whether she is his soul, or his inner life, or his better nature, whatever—then in any case Gael is the side which goes out into the world and experiences it. He is the creative extension into the world as its active participant and realizer. Yet he is clothed as the warrior, the executioner. While the one who is dressed as the artist, the painter, just stays in her room and imagines the world—but this is where the magic of creation is really felt. We involve ourselves in life, or in a game, but we are only really changed and renewed when that exterior experience is “brought home” into the inner life. We do something “in the game,” but the act of “painting,” in renewing the world through our creative interpretation, is a decidedly interior experience.

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

Let Kel Be Sad: An Analysis on Kel’s struggles to express his negative emotions

Like Hero, Kel is also a “fixer”—he would bend over backwards to solve his friends' problems and stop the world if it would make them happy again, and both him and his brother are such big hearted and generous people who would much rather be the emotional support for others rather than talk about their own problems and make a situation about themselves and their feelings. For Hero, this often involves burying his own feelings and faking happiness, but I don’t think it necessarily means this for Kel, even if he struggles to express his negative emotions.

To me, Kel’s happiness and positivity is genuine, but he dismisses, discounts, and often runs from his sadness when he does experience it.

Let's discuss under the cut.

[Mod Sprinkles made the joke that in another universe I (mod Acacia) would also run a blog called "Let Kel Be Sad" so here are some Kel thoughts. Thanks for indulging my ramblings! 🧡]

Disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions, perceptions, and headcanons about Kel (and Hero). There are a lot of ways his character can be interpreted, and one of the great things about fandom is getting to see different points of view and differing interpretations of characters we all know and love. I know I speak for both Sprinkles and myself when I say we have a lot of respect for that, and for that reason, I want to be upfront that, while I do genuinely believe Kel struggles expressing negative emotions (thus the "Let Kel Be Sad" title), I don't personally view Kel as someone whose happiness is "fake" in the same way as Hero's. I can see the appeal of this interpretation and can understand why people interpret his character in this way, but it personally does not vibe with my personal interpretations, perceptions, and headcanons of Kel and his character, so if you perceive/headcanon Kel in that way, this post probably won't be your cup of tea. Please keep that in mind.

Warnings: OMORI Spoilers and discussion of game-relevant heavier topics such death, trauma, and grief.

Kel wears his heart on his sleeve, but this doesn't mean that he is shallow. He is a big-hearted, deeply empathetic, and incredibly loyal friend, and it cannot be stated enough that one of Kel’s biggest strengths is his ability to use his natural positivity and resilience to lift up those around him. He’s really the hero of the game because none of the healing would have been possible if he hadn’t continued to believe in his friends even after all of this time, hadn’t encouraged them, and hadn’t built them up just by being Kel.

And while I do think Kel does struggle to express vulnerabilities and negative emotions, I don't personally think of Kel's unwavering optimism as a mask. In my mind, Kel is not an emotional repressor or burier in the same way as Hero. In fact, because he wears his heart on his sleeve, he would probably really struggle to fake an emotion he wasn’t feeling (even if it was something positive like happiness). If Kel doesn’t want to express an emotion, I imagine he runs from it and avoids it, since it’s not natural or easy for him to “replace” or “bury” it with a fake one. Whereas Hero is much more reserved and private about his feelings, no matter what they are, so it’s much easier for him to convincingly mask pain and suffering under layers and layers of fake happiness. I just don’t think Kel would be able to hold back those emotions for very long. His negative feelings would eventually just kind of explode out of him without thinking and/or they’d become so apparent from his expressions and/or actions (since he does wear his heart on his sleeve) and everyone (including the player of the game) would know that he had so much negativity under the surface.

This isn't to say that Kel is perfectly fine. He isn't. He has suffered a terrible loss just like everyone else, but I think the game makes it clear that Kel has the most acceptance surrounding Mari's death and that he has made peace with what happened more so than the other main characters. Please keep in mind that this is only relative to the other main cast. Kel may seem "well-adjusted" in comparison to his brother and his friends who are, quite frankly, barely keeping it together, but he would not necessarily be considered well-adjusted in comparison to the non-traumatized townies. I genuinely believe that Kel is still in the process of healing, but relative to the other main cast members, he is farther along in that journey than they are.

And in that way, the game doesn't really give us a moment where Kel is overwhelmed by grief in the same way as the rest of the characters. Yes, there is the scene (one of my personal favorites) where Kel shares about his fight with Hero, and it is incredibly vulnerable and gives a lot of subtly and nuance to his character, but I don't think it's necessarily evidence that the player can't accept Kel as he presents himself to us at face value in the way that we can't accept Hero as he presents himself to us at face value. As I recently discussed in this post, the scene where Sunny finds Hero crying alone at Mari’s piano on the night of "Two Days Left" tells the player that Hero's attempts to appear well-adjusted and "fine" are, at least to a certain extent, all for show. There isn’t a Kel equivalent of this scene which, I personally think, is meant to tell the player of the game that Kel is the most well-adjusted member of his friend group (key words here being "of his friend group") and the one who has the most acceptance surrounding Mari’s death. Additionally, Mod Sprinkles actually made the point that Sunny is extremely perceptive and sensitive to his friends’ feelings and emotions. If Kel was still harboring a lot of negativity surrounding Mari’s death, Sunny likely would have picked up on that and been more hesitant to go outside with him in the first place.

This isn’t to say that Kel doesn’t ever have any negative feelings and that he doesn’t struggle to express those sometimes, but I think this struggle to express “the bad stuff” doesn’t stem from a pressure he feels to be happy all the time. That said, I do wonder sometimes if he is a little scared of feeling sad. He wants to be happy and wants everyone around him to be happy, and I think there is this certain helplessness that he feels when he can’t cheer other people up. We see a little glimpse of that in his account of his & Hero’s fight after Mari’s death. I think watching someone he loved so much go through such a deep and debilitating depression at such a young age probably permanently affected him, and he might have some worries about getting “stuck” like his brother, wallowing in that sadness and grief if he allows himself to feel it.

However, this is an unwarranted fear because Kel and Hero are very different. Even though Kel might feel sad, and his feelings are absolutely valid, I don’t think he’s prone to that level of despair and depression that we see in Hero. Understanding that his experiences and emotional responses are different than his brother’s is a big part of growing up so it might take him a while to realize this, and in the meantime, I could see it possibly manifesting itself as a sort of avoidance of sadness.

Everyone grieves differently. This is a difficult concept for even adults to understand, so I can't imagine how hard it would be for a 12-year-old like Kel. Because Kel didn't grieve Mari in the same way as Hero or his friends and didn’t spiral into the same level of despair and depression as the others, I think he struggles with invalidating his own feelings to himself sometimes--writing them off as shallow and dismissing them to himself as "just not deep enough." Again, I think this goes back to the one (1) fight that Kel and Hero had. We don’t know exactly what they said to each other in that fight, but it’s my personal headcanon that Hero lashed out at Kel for “not understanding” for he felt. From then on, I think Kel really does struggle with this fear that he just doesn’t understand emotions and because of that, any attempts to help his hurting loved ones will only make everything worse.

I’d really like to see him reach a place in which he can accept that even if his feelings and his grief are different and perhaps not as lingeringly overwhelming as the others', that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them and that doesn’t mean he didn’t care about Mari or his friends. In my mind, Kel’s hesitation and worry at expressing his negative feelings and his happy-go-lucky personality can both exist at the same time. I don't think they are mutually exclusive, and I tend to think of Kel as someone who naturally looks on the bright side of things and is genuinely optimistic and uplifting. To deny this feels like a disservice to (my personal perception of) Kel, but I think it is also a disservice to pretend he never feels sadness or any negative feelings at all. There has to be a balance.

Let Kel feel sad when he needs to but recognize that he doesn’t actually need to feel sad all that often.

[princesssarcastia]

things i’m still thinking about after my second showing of across the spider-verse

Ham and Noir never showed up at headquarters, but they showed up at the end when Gwen and Miles needed them.  I’m actually very curious about that—they both enjoyed working with Miles, Peter B., Gwen, and Peni in the first movie, so they don;t object to working with others on principle.   I wonder if their spidey senses pinged when Miguel or Jess showed up to recruit them, and they said no.  Or: they got all the way to headquarters, caught the vibe, and refused to sign up, not even to see their new friends.  Certainly, Noir is enough like Hobie to see the problematic elements of this place quickly and refuse to take part in it.  And Ham really loves Miles.  If he made it all the way to the part where they explain the anomaly, and how Miguel believes Miles fits in...I think he’d walk out.  My boy Ham would not have stood for that chase bullshit

(Or:  Miguel took one look at Ham and Ham’s world and said “Fuck that, no way.”)

(Or: Peter B. didn’t push for Miguel and Jess to recruit Ham and Noir.  Didn’t push for them to recruit any of the people he grew to love and love working with, during the collider incident, because he knows Miguel, and knows deep down that this environment is toxic, and not at all what he wants for them)

Which brings me to another thing I can’t stop thinking about: how Peter B. definitely knew Miguel before this whole inter-dimensional spider club got started.  They are definitely friends, or they were.  It gives Peter more leeway to fuck around with Miguel, and it gives Miguel more leeway to be an uptight fascist with Peter.

I also think that the reason Peter B. and so many other Spider-People buy into that bullshit narrative about canon events is because they, like so many traumatized people before them, want it all to have meant something.  They want there to be a reason, a divine purpose, a plan, so that their suffering isn’t pointless.  Peter B. has convinced himself that purpose makes the loss hurt less—and it’s not until Miles rightfully calls them all out on it that he starts to realize it actually makes it hurt more.

“All this loss makes us who we are!”  Bullshit, Peter B., you should know better.

We never meet another Miles, not once.  I know some people are speculating that 42!Miles was supposed to get bitten by that spider, but I don’t think that’s true.  

I think the Miles Morales in 1610 is something wholly new in the entire multiverse, and I think that should and does terrify the everloving pants off of everyone involved in the status quo.  In every peter who likes feeling special, who likes being The One And Only Spider-Man, In Every Universe.  In Miguel, who’s clinging desperately to the boxes he’s shoved the universe into so he doesn’t have to try and get better.

And Miles Morales is...oh, he’s mind-blowing.  I can’t stop thinking about the way he! plows! through! an! entire! multi-verse’s! worth! of! spider-people!  All of them!  It’s hard, but he fucking does it and he beats them and he’s RIGHT.   They should fucking crown him king.

Not only that—he beats them at the violence from the moral high ground!  He doesn’t give into despair, doesn’t take the easy route of “I couldn’t stop it, leads to, I shouldn’t stop it.”  He puts the onus on himself to do both.  To save the world and his father.

Miles Morales Is Better Than You

The way that Miles and Gwen seem to have some sort of trans-dimensional spider-sense hookup is so fucking cool.  Gwen stands in his room long enough to spider-sense out through the whole UNIVERSE and tell that he’s. not.  here.  they’re CONNECTED they have a CONNECTION.

Speaking of, Gwen Stacy is trans as fuck.  Claiming her now.

Hobie is a delight.  He sees, I think, what Peter B. sees (and what I think Ham and Noir see) which is that there’s something special about these kids.  (Obviously, that something special is that they’re the main characters.  But for the most part, Miles and Gwen are fighting head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, and on their way to thinking head and shoulders above the crowd, too)

I wasn’t expecting the movie to focus on Gwen so much, but her story was heart-wrenching.  Her dad, picking her job over his daughter.  Getting a second chance, with some people she clearly desperately wants to be her new family, but that second chance is contingent on her ability to perform for the Mission—and comes at the expense of the only friend she’s made since Peter died.  And then...then she fucks up the mission.  And loses everything.  Big oof.  She gets punched in the face so many times, but every time she gets up angrier than before and starts hitting back.

[cripplecharacters]

Do you have an idea of disability as part of redemption arc ? Let's say, I have a character who's a professional executioner, from a dynasty of professional executioners, XVIIIth century. He was a real person, who eventually became paraplegic. Since, I want, for my historical novel to redeem him...He started torturing people at fourteen, maybe younger, and killed for the first time at age 18. He's 33 when the story started, and became hemiplegic/paraplegic (documentation isn't clear on this) at age 35, and was in a social circle of executioners and torturers since birth. Realistically, maybe, he would have little to no sense of belonging beyond that of executioner, unless maybe as head of house, which is again, liked to his position as executioner. He's a third class citizen, but an absurdly wealthy one, and no longer being able-bodied doesn't mean he can stop depending on the executioner buisness, it just means his son has to start killing at 15.

How do you think a man who worked for 13 years as master executioner of Paris, but officially because one at age 7, insuring his wealth but also the envy of his colleagues, would cope with being hemiplegic/paraplegic. Also, one of his potencial rivals was a man who in all likelyhood beated his mother, and probably him and his brother when they were at least teenagers. That master executioner was aged 35 when he lost his mobility to a stroke. The Mémoires of the Sanson family also described him a proud piller of his community, delivering charitable medical care to those in needs and one who enjoyed rough horse riding.

Thank you for your ask! This sounds like a case of redemption through disability, which is a trope that should be avoided. A disabled character can get redeemed, but it should be entirely separate from their disability.

Along with his disability not redeeming him, you should also make sure it doesn’t make him spiteful or cruel. Basically the disability should change what he can physically do, not who he is.

As for the second part of the ask, I first want to note none of our mods are parapalegic/hemiplegic, so we can’t speak for coping with these disabilities specifically. I’d recommend looking for first hand accounts of people with these conditions, or preferably seeing if you can find someone with them to ask or act as a sensitivity reader.

I don’t know much about 18th century French medicine, but physical & occupational therapy will be important as he re-learns tasks that were once easy and figure out ways to complete tasks he can no longer do. Studies show horseback riding can help stroke survivors with their recovery, though he’ll need to ride gently at first.

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

I just want to say real quick, adding on to the case of redemption through disability, that the reason we want to avoid it is because moralizing disability is something that very much happens to real alive people every day.

Tying disability to morality often is 'disability is a moral failure' type of situation, but another way it affects people is the assumption that 'suffering' through a disability somehow makes you more 'pure' or 'better.' Like when you see some grumpy mean character get an injury and Suddenly They Understand Hardships of Others and they become a better person — sort of a mix between 'disability as punishment' and 'disabled people are innocent.'

This kind of seems like what you're doing here. There's a lot of historical fiction out there that uses real life counterparts. If you choose to do that and redeem a bad person, I can't exactly stop you. But I want you to examine why you think what's going to redeem him is the onset of his disability, rather than an understanding of what he did and attempts to do better.

Hope this helps,

– Mod Sparrow

I agree completely with what has been said and just want to add that even disorders like traumatic brain injuries and strokes that can sometimes affect not only function but also personality should not be used as a moral thing, as mentioned earlier. More realistically impacts of a stroke on personality and mood are depression (this was my main symptom even with minimal other symptoms and damage), some impulsiveness or irritability, and mood swings. The disability, again, should not make them a better or worse person inherently.

-Mod Bert

[waterymoss]

Rant✨

There’s a Q&A in which the writers mentioned that there are two main moments in the upcoming season relating to Vi and Caitlyn’s relationship, one that fans will likely hate and one that they’ll love…

In the teaser for s2 Vi is already an enforcer which ties to her LoL arc- but in the Arcane storyline what prompted this? There’s some chatter that she joined to find Jinx before anyone else had the chance to.

Given Jinx’s actions against the council it’s to be expected that an abundant number of people want her dead. And Vi knows that, and even after witnessing the “monster” that Jinx has become…Vi can’t let them hurt her.

I’m unsure of what Caitlyn’s intentions are after her plan to capture Jinx, but is she straightforward with Vi about them?

One thing that is clear is that Caitlyn is dead set on finding Jinx and this is where Vi comes in, someone mentioned that it’s likely that she will lie to Caitlyn about her feelings towards her sister…maybe say that she doesn’t see powder in Jinx anymore and that she wants to help capture her to bring justice.

Caitlyn will trust her and fully believe that they are a team.

But when the time comes and Vi finally finds Jinx she obviously won’t turn her in, and definitely won’t do anything to put her in danger…

What if the tables turn now from S1 when Jinx was begging Vi to kill Caitlyn- when she was making her choose a side. And this time it’s Cait the one asking Vi to pick. To make the final decision.

But Vi can’t do it, she won’t. And she lets Jinx go or helps her escape… essentially betraying Caitlyn.

And if a romantic relationship was already set by then- a break up is in motion. If they are not yet dating the outcome is the same regardless- a painful cut off between them is inevitable. And this explains the time skip details I’ll mention ⬇️

The Annecy clip shows a different version of Vi, apart from the changes in her physical appearance it’s obvious that she’s not in a good mental state.

She’s hurting and wants to drown the pain away so she turns to fighting and heavy drinking which then lead to the drunken hallucinations about Caitlyn alluded in the clip.

She’s hit rock bottom after everything, especially losing another person that she loves. Does guilt haunt her? Someone who attended the festival and got to see the clip said that Vi is visibly longing for Caitlyn.

So with all of this I’m guessing the heavy angst comes in the first Acts of arcane. (Because let’s be real there will be some degree of angst in everything)

After all the hardships and suffering a reunion gets to happen someway or another.

Of course it’s not an easy one, surely there will be a lot of complicated feelings that they’ll need to resolve.

Do they eventually come to an equal agreement about what to do with Jinx? Or does one forcefully relent at last?

There’s also the hooded Jinx theory from a bit that appeared in the teaser, and suggests that she’s stalking Vi. There’s also rumors that Jinx sort of interchanges roles with Vi from s1- maybe because in a way she wants to protect Vi given the bad state she’s seen her in.

(I include this because I’m quite intrigued with Jinx’s involvement and how that will play out with both Vi and Caitlyn) this is delusion speaking but could Jinx have something to do with bringing them together?

Over all I have no clue about how Caitlyn and Vi will tackle things. It’s such a complex situation. She is Vi’s sister…and Cassandra’s Killer. Will they look at it that way?

And will Vi have to ultimately pick?

There’s just so many possibilities to go around.

But with Amanda Overton (One of Arcane’s writers) Being so passionate about these characters and being the captain of the Caitvi/Violyn ship…I do have hopes that in the end there’s a silver lining for them.

As dull as the chances seem in the setting in which Arcane is, the part that the fans will like has way to come.

They either get to fully confess their love or they’ll get to mend their relationship in a heartfelt way . And somewhere in there the sex scene Amanda hinted at might get to happen between them.

(Pls don’t let it be a MelxJayce round two 😭)

A lot fate-determining things are bound to happen in the last Act. (Which scares me lmao)

Now is a final happy ending possible? I mean I can see Caitlyn a Vi getting one but as much as I would like I’m not certain if the same can be said about Jinx.

I wonder if Jinx will find happiness after everything. Will she get a redemption arc?

It just seems unlikely that they all get what they want in the end. But I beg them to prove me wrong, please.

But I really hope that there’s a good outcome in the end and that our hearts don’t break completly 😩

And a happy ending would be fitting considering that their story ends with Season 2.

[misc-obeyme]

do you think solomon felt guilty for taking so long (season 2) to tell mc he was immortal? the hints were there and no one was subtle about it, so it's easy to assume that mc already knew or guessed the truth, but it takes so long for him to say it clearly. feels like a good source of angst, especially since he finally tells them in the reaper's cave

Okay so I had to go back and re-read this part, which is in Lesson 36-3 for anyone who wishes to play through that part again.

But here is the relevant moment:

He seems so casual about it. In fact, right before this if you choose something like wait how is that possible his response is this:

Now. I think this could be read two different ways. You could see all this as Solomon being like, obviously this is no big deal. If you take it at face value, he seems rather unbothered by the whole thing and doesn’t seem to mind telling you what happened and that he’s immortal.

However. I do think that Solomon does this thing where he acts really casually about stuff when he actually feels something more deeply, especially when everyone else is there. In this moment, all the demon brothers are present and they already know this fact about him. So maybe he was not trying to hide it, but not bringing it up to MC on purpose. But when they’re all there, he can’t exactly deny it, so he decides to act as though it’s no big deal. He almost glosses over this and directly after they have this short revelation, they get back to the task at hand (finding Beel’s candle).

So while I think there probably isn’t anything deeper to this instance in the actual story, I DO think there’s plenty of room for reader interpretation. (To be clear, I don’t think there was anything deeper to this moment in season two of the OG, but there certainly seems to be more about the Solomon immortality piece in general, especially in Nightbringer. I think it might be very relevant to the NB plot.)

And the fact of the matter is, currently MC is NOT immortal.

This is an issue that’s present for all the characters, but it has a really heavy impact for Solomon specifically, imo. This is because he’s HUMAN. He isn’t naturally immortal, he should have died long ago. And not only that, but he’s going to live on indefinitely. And all his fellow humans live short lives and die, leaving him perpetually alone.

It’s painful. Imagine always losing everyone you’ve ever loved. Always being the one still lingering after they’re all gone. Imagine being careful to never get too close to anyone because you don’t want to suffer through the pain of losing them later. Imagine knowing about the Devildom and the Celestial Realm and magic and sorcerers with such a deep understanding, but never being able to share it with anyone. Those that do join you in the study of magic will never be at your level because they die too soon. The only friends you can count on having for any decent length of time are demons or angels - beings that can’t understand your very existence.

Nobody can tell me that all of this isn’t something that Solomon thinks about. That maybe this is one of the things he tries to forget about by throwing himself into research. That this is one of the things that plagues his racing mind when he’s trying to sleep.

Then imagine along comes another human who might almost be on your level. Someone who has the potential to understand you in a way nobody else ever has. Someone you’re inexplicably drawn to, someone you can’t help but fall in love with, someone who’s still mortal. Someone you’ll inevitably lose like you’ve always lost everyone else before.

Do I think he felt guilty? Yes. The game plays it off as a sort of quirk about him, but the implications are so heavy that I just headcanon my own thoughts about it. And I think that Solomon would try to stay in that place of ignorance for as long as possible. He likely felt bad about obscuring this fact from MC - again, not lying about it or even really going out of his way to hide it, but just… not telling them.

However, I think that he felt a lot worse about what that truth means for him and for MC.

Oh dear I may have gotten carried away. Listen, you asked for angst and I have thoughts about this lol.

Lemme leave you with one last thing, though. I completely forgot he said this:

LOOOOOL. I dunno about you guys, but I refer to him as an old man all the time. I’m pretty sure we do that collectively as a fandom, so the fact that he straight up said not to do that way back in season two of the OG made me CACKLE. I’m sorry Solomon, but calling you an old man/grandpa/peepaw/etc is too much fun. It’s okay, Lucifer and Simeon get called those things, too lol. It’s a compliment, I swear.

[quillofspirit]

2023 fic recs

If there's one thing to know about me, is that I love to read! and I love to share the good fics, so I figured I would put them all on one list💚

pssst! it's my first time doing anything like this, so if you have recommendations for the format, please do leave them in the comments or drop me a message! thanks xx

Key 🍬 fluff 🧯 spicy 🌡️ smut ⛈️ angst 🌪️ all

For people I have tagged, please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to add or remove — like a link to another account. It’ll be my pleasure☺️

Lord of the Rings (and related)

⛈️🧯Fuck the Forbidden pt. 1 by @entishramblings

Boromir x mermaidfem!oc Teens and Up but read the warnings carefully 9,500 words

Now I want mermaids in everything. why aren’t there mermaids in everything? The descriptions are so well done, everything is so vividly easy to visualize, oh I just loved it.

I am so hyped for pt 2!!

🍬⛈️ Healing Touch by @ass-deep-in-demons

Boromir x fem!oc Teens and Up 4,350 words

My film studies degree was very happy about the descriptions of movement in this one - it’s a little specific but hear me out. It’s much easier to see the actors playing the scene when it’s described this well! THAT ENDING, I have to say I joined Legolas, and I don’t have excuses.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the adventures of Joanna!

🍬 I Might Need to Kiss You by @fizzyxcustard

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader 400 words

I was squealing, this is so sweet. like the perfect little pick me up when you need a reminder, and Thorin is nothing if not a good king to his subjects 😇

🍬 Sweet Conversations by @glassgulls

Haldir x fem!reader Teens and Up 5,360 words

did I almost break my mouse when I clicked on this? noooo

Would I do it again? approximately 5 times since ☺️

Who doesn’t love sneaking around and kissing pretty elves, especially when they propose the idea so nicely… Just read it, you’re welcome

⛈️🧯Transformed by @sotwk

Thranduil’s son OC x fem!reader Teens and Up 2,400 words

There are at least two werewolves! When I tell you I read it three nights in a row, just to truly catch all the little things that made me go absolutely feral this so lovely to read. Yes, there’s gore (only a little bit) and there’s angst, but there’s also dialogue that would be made into gifs were it a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbeans

🌪️Catch the Wind by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

James Norrington x fem!oc Explicit 418,000 words

101 chapters of epic, pirates, and sweetness. The definition of you will suffer and you will like it. I finished this in like two days, because I couldn’t put it down, like a child on Halloween night going through their whole bag of candy.

⛈️🍬 Fallen Through Time by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

Catch the Wind AU Mature Ongoing; 34,000 words

12 Chapters so far, but it’s probably going to make me want to read everything about Theodora again. I am very normal about this character. 😌

Other fandoms

🌡️One of Those days by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x fem!reader Explicit 750 words

Sometimes you need to be taken care of, and sometimes its easier to take care of others.

🍬Patience by @velvetcloxds

Charlie Swan x fem!reader Just straight cuteness 600 words

A cute yet serious conversation with Charlie

🌡️That Takes Trust Darlin by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x transmasc!reader Explicit 1,950 words

It takes a lot of trust to tell a person about your desires, and even more when you spend your time catching villains.

🌪️ What Happens After You? by StrengthBeforeWeakness

Ominis Gaunt x fem!oc Mature 219,000 words

A badass Ravenclaw, sweet sweet Garreth, and dark!Sebastian. I am tempted to say it’s almost a Hogwarts Legacy AU because the lore in this fic is so incredible, it feels new again.

These are my headers and dividers, please do not use them.

[alicent-hightowers-spouse]

Idk if this is real or I’m just going crazy from sleep deprivation, but am I the only one that thought in the most two recent episodes Rhaenyra and Alicent were being paralleled in their internalized misogyny? (Not a hate post, I love both of them and I think it’s impossible NOT to have internalized misogyny in that setting. Just talking about something I noticed.)

Like in episode two we see Alicent having Helaena do the whole political funeral thing, and it’s so obvious that before, during, and after it, Alicent sees herself in Helaena. The whole thing is like Alicent reliving her earliest days as Queen all over again where not only was she also just a political pawn for the men in her life, but also where her biggest fear started. This fear being something happening to the kids she was forced to have. While the political pawn thing is majorly important too to the generational misogyny discussion, I think the more major relation that registers within Alicent’s brain is the fear of her children dying, and her consciously forcing Helaena to suffer through an extended version of that pain, and it is what will be relevant later in my post. Keep that in mind.

Similarly, in episode three, we see Rhaenyra narrowing Rhaena down to nothing more than an idea of motherhood. Rhaenyra basically tells Rhaena that her main purpose in the war is to take care of her children, even though Rhaena is less than enthusiastic about it. Even before I made the distinction that I make in this post, this whole scene struck out as odd to me, because my first thought was “teenage Rhaenyra would have hated to be told this,” yet Rhaenyra didn’t seem to care about Rhaena’s feelings at all. And then I realized that was the point. Sure, Rhaenyra’s fear of motherhood surrounded around childbirth mainly, but still, her greatest fear had been motherhood for most of her life, specifically being forced to mother children she didn’t want, and yet she forced it onto Rhaena without a second thought.

So. Alicent’s greatest fear, suffering the loss of a child, befell Helaena, and instead of comforting her in her time of need, Alicent furthered her daughter’s pain. Rhaenyra’s greatest fear, being forced into motherhood, was easy for her to force onto another young girl. It’s disturbing, and shocking, and upsetting, but it’s such a good decision for their characters. It shows how easily women can forget their girlhood fears when they come into more power, contributing to the misogyny around them. But that’s not all. Because then I realized something else.

Despite the idea haunting her for almost her entire life, Alicent never had to suffer the loss of a child. But Rhaenyra did.

And in the end, Rhaenyra did get to choose who the father of her children was, and when she had them. But Alicent didn’t.

They lived each other’s worst fears. It adds another layer of tragedy to them, because it would have been so easy for them to understand each other, their fears and grievances matching perfectly, but they never really got the chance because of how they viewed the other as having caused their issues in the first place. And even later, they get another chance to understand both themselves and each other through their daughters, but it makes no difference.

None of them will ever win, because they don’t help each other. Everyone complaining that “so-and-so” is better than “this character” because “so-and-so” is a true feminist and “this character isn’t” doesn’t understand the point of the show.

The point is that they won’t help their mothers, they won’t help their best friends, and they won’t help their daughters. If you think any of the men in House Of The Dragon are an ideal image of feminism…. I don’t even know how you’re on my page in the first place. And all the women in the show are only looking out for their own best interests. Which is totally fair for the time period theyre in, and I would probably do the same. But it all goes to show that they could’ve been so much stronger if they all stood together.