#so i tried those

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[joshuamj]

Hero.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[datcravat]

pe ru so na

[lazylittledragon]

and what if they got married. what then

[hinamie]

bunch of portraits

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[saturnvs]

borrowed my mom’s neopastels and scribbled in my sketchbook 💫

[bunnieswithknives]

Dev thinks the Minecraft movie trailer is epic, I think.

He likes nfts and ai art too smh

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Jazz takes care of a de-aged Danny, and they lay low in Gotham. But just because Danny’s body is younger doesn’t mean his powers have lessened. In fact, they’ve only grown harder to control. Having the energy of a child makes containing his powers harder (just like when he first got them) until they realize that Danny’s powers are much easier to control when he can get rid of some of his excess energy. Jazz hears about a free gym open to all that is also meta-proof (more durable) from a wonderful woman at the library. (Lookin at you Babs)

The gym has a gigantic kids play area, along with classes for all ages and a training area complete with an American Gladiator style obstacle course for adults. Jazz will use the obstacle course sometimes when her boss has fully ticked her off. Stephanie and Cass volunteer there whenever they can. Jason always sends the alley kids there too because it’s close by and a safe place. Dick leads a class there whenever he can.

Dick actually holds the record for the obstacle course. Until Jazz gives it a go after a particularly trying day. She doesn’t realize there’s a record. She never would have used the course if she’d known. Training with Pandora and Fright Knight gave her plenty of advantages with how she can use her liminality and she definitely doesn’t need to stand out.

But again, she doesn’t know there’s a record. Or that someone saw her going repeatedly through the course (Stephanie) and decided to time her on her next go. (She doesn’t film without permission because she’s respectful of boundaries like that) She does post Jazz’s time in the Batfam group chat to take Dick down a couple notches though.

Or someone else (not Batfam, just a random citizen) takes a video of her doing the course and posts it on the internet and now they (Jazz and Danny) have to stay one step ahead of Vlad, the Batfam, their parents, and avoid the GIW. How hard can it be?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Archery Nemesis.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[kiwisdrawings]

my favorite ending

[holmsister]

The smiling winkerrrr

[ruikasas]

project voltage - hatsune miku icons

[codeearth]

As he went down the wall, lizard fashion, I wished I had a gun or some lethal weapon, that I might destroy him.

-Jonathan Harker, June 29th

And then Jonathan went back to Exeter and they all lived happily (rip nameless mum and the babies)

I’d already had this vivid image in my head of him shooting Dracula during his lizard moments, but then today’s entry came along and I burst out laughing at that line. It seems that my good friend Jonathan thinks the same way I do.