#so idk if he's actually been a possible shithead before this - or people are just too sensitive about everything

[bardicious]

This isn't an article, this is a reddit post where people are speaking about the topic like grown adults, I don't really have a stake in whether these allegations are true, but it bothers me that, like usual, the internet will go into a hysteric frenzy.

Which, again, I don't personally care whether some rando rich people get "cancelled" or not, lord knows I have many fave shows/movies made by shitheads. What I suggest to people, however, is please always be cautious of news, and he said she said. Picking sides is not a requirement, its not needed at all, actually.

Keep enjoying your favorite shows, and chill the fuck out.

[bigskydreaming]

Interesting. Another week where I liked all the X-books that came out. Must’ve been cuz there was no Duggan in the mix.

New Mutants was one of the better issues since Ayala took over. I haven’t loved all of their issues, though enjoyed them for the most part, but this one I could really see everything start to come together that they’ve been seeding from their start. I wanna reread once next issue comes out and see whether it works better overall to read the full arc in one sitting. Also it might be that the Otherworld stuff was a forced detour they had to make and that threw off the pacing. We’ll see. 

But the kids with Gabby was such a sweet moment, and its so nice to see them all on the same side when it comes to Farouk......but Farouk’s motivations and the little interlude about the boy call back to Ayala’s first issue and it looks like the suspicions laid back then were true. Its almost certain that the Shadow King is actually an amalgamation or even just a full on puppet of an Amenthi demon who merged with or possessed Amahl Farouk as a child and using him as a host, has been all about trying to make this world match the one it came from, based on the same ideals Annihilation espoused. 

Basically, Amahl is not the same as the Shadow, the Shadow is trying to turn Krakoa into a new version of Arakko, and if I’m interpreting one panel of the art right, I think Xi’an (who seemed to have her suspicions back at the start of this arc too) just sensed another presence for the first time - and she’s the one who knows the Shadow King’s psyche best after all - and she’s figured out that there’s a separate Amahl Farouk consciousness hidden somewhere inside him. And given that second ‘demonstration’ interlude and the fact that the New Mutants are now nowhere to be found in the Shadow King’s mindscape, I’m guessing she managed to shunt them from the part the Shadow King controlled, into whatever part the original boy Amahl is hiding in.

Excalibur was one of its better issues. I’m far more interested in the politics of Otherworld than the political shit in X-Force, Mordred being a mutant is an actually interesting twist, and the idea that Arthur is making his son’s betrayal a self-fulfilling prophecy by attacking mutantkind because he believes Mordred will inevitably side with them as a mutant has some interesting possibilities. It was also unexpectedly....nice, to see like, the whole family Braddock fighting on the same side for probably the first time ever, lol, from Betsy to Brian to Meggan to Jamie.....Jim Jaspers remains a wildcard I’m wary of because like, lol I’ve read the original stories of him and it seems this writer has too, and I want someone to bring up that he’s keeping Redroot captive and make some kind of issue about that, especially now that Death has been brought back into the mix and Betsy’s offered to help him escape Sevalith. 

(Only to have him say no, he’s working - lol anyone else think Death’s trying to pull off a one-man coup and take over Sevalith for mutantkind and do his Daddy Dearest proud? Or given that he’s obviously still crushing on Ororo, even after - well I mean, probably BECAUSE she kicked his ass and left him for dead.....I could TOTALLY see them playing this as like, part of some weird courtship attempt of his. The only way he feels he can woo her as an equal is to come to her with a kingdom of his own or some shit like that. Idk, we’ll see. He’s definitely up to something though, but I do believe him when he says that ultimately he’s on the same side as the rest of them).

I liked that they haven’t forgotten about the other Rogue, Gambit and Rictor Captains, I liked Roma’s conversation with Jubilee about Shogo and the foreshadowing there, as well as Jubilee’s response and her clear conflict.....Merlyn can fucking die in a fire already, please and thank you, ugh, enough with this old shithead.....oh I LOVED that someone is FINALLY doing something with Bei, and it does make sense for it to be Excalibur though I figured it would’ve happened in New Mutants by now. But she and Shatterstar make a fun odd duo, and actually Star’s comment to Brian about being a new friend too like, lol, okay, I’m kinda here for a trio of Brian, Star and Bei to be like a Krakoan Warrior Three who are all united by their perspective as like, lifelong combatants and being outsiders among the rest of Krakoa even if Shatterstar and Bei are technically still mutants too. It makes sense.

Hmm, what else. Would love to see Bei’s thoughts on Death and Redroot, all things considered, and have something to do with those plotlines in the future. And really in general I’m here for this big all-kingdom smackdown with Sevalith, Hothive, Mercador, the Furies and Merlyn’s kingdom all arrayed against Krakoa and Avalon. Of course, these are still only the Foul Kingdoms. Roma and the rest of the Fair Kingdoms so far don’t seem to have any real problem with witchbreed....but this arc is still only getting started. Still waiting for Mordred’s inevitable entrance....curious to see what his power is, and especially if HE even knew he was a mutant before now.

Also: JULIO AND SHATTERSTAR CUDDLES. WE HAVE WAITED 84 YEARS FOR THIS.

And as for Hellions....

Okay, I didn’t actually love Hellions, its kinda on...layaway. I liked a lot of the fallout of last issue, I liked that the stakes are so apparent here, but I’m gonna be bothered by a lot of stuff unless there’s some kind of plot twist that reveals that Kwannon’s daughter is still alive somehow. Like maybe Sinister lied about not having another back-up JUST to ensure he still had one last card to bargain with up his sleeve since he lost the ‘in’ he had with the Hellions now, and with the Council now aware of his secret experiments with Arraki DNA (and bringing Tarn down on their heads in a way that COULD have started a full on war with them if Ororo hadn’t handled it for them)....like point is, all eyes are going to be on him for awhile now and he has very few cards left to play or people in his corner, so I’m HOPING that there’s another plot twist coming in the last couple issues there. 

Because if Kwannon’s daughter is ACTUALLY dead....it really doesn’t sit well with me that the first real mutant death in an age of literal immortality for the rest of them (since even Gorgon and Rockslide technically are still alive in SOME sense)....like for that to be Kwannon’s daughter, the only real innocent in all of this, and having been held hostage to this storyline the whole time, and only existing to force Kwannon’s hand in all of this....yeah. No. Thank you, do not like, that better not be all there is to this. I never trust anything Sinister says as a general rule, so I’m not gonna believe him about that having been the only back-up of her daughter until its wholly proven otherwise.

Other thoughts.....I like that Emma knows that she fucked up, I like that Emma DID have her own kinda failsafe in place because she didn’t trust Sinister for shit, I like that she was RIGHT not to trust Sinister for shit and that her fail-safe stopped even worse shit from happening....I DON’T like that her fail-safe literally just made Alex a weapon of mass destruction with no awareness he even was one and someone else’s hand (let alone fucking MANUEL’S on the trigger)....I DON’T like Emma looking all pained at how devastated Alex is when that was the inevitably outcome of this particular failsafe, like sorry Emma but if what it did to Alex was really that big a problem for you, you should have found a different failsafe.....and I REALLY REALLY don’t like Emma effectively just offering up Maddy’s resurrection as essentially a bribe to ‘fix’ what had happened to HIM, like....if you guys could have made the case for Maddy’s resurrection before now, it should have been for Maddy’s sake, not as like....a cheer-up tactic for fucking Alex, and DEFINITELY not to ‘fix’ a mess that still resulted in Kwannon’s daughter’s death (unless of course there’s a twist there).

Oh and I also meant to say there BETTER be fallout once Scott discovers Emma and Manuel’s role in all of this. I could definitely see Scott like, interceding on John’s behalf if he manages to pull of killing Empath, because like....he’d kinda want to do it himself. This is one of those times where I REALLY wish they’d spend more time developing where Gabe fits in with the Summers brothers now, relationship wise, because like, just show him giving any kind of shits for Alex as his older brother like, at all, and you can EASILY justify Gabe going full wrath-of-omega-mutant on Empath, and what’s the Council gonna do to one of their prized omega mutants, especially one who’s already been imprisoned on Krakoa for Xavier’s mistakes in decades past? 

Actually damn, now THERE’S a consequence-arc I’d love to see, because imagine Gabe helping John go after Empath, and then the Council really trying to throw HIM in the Hole for that, and then Scott being like uh no, remember the events of Deadly Genesis? The fuck I’m gonna stand by and allow that, Xavier you still owe him for that shit, especially since this resurrected version of him never did all the shit Emperor Vulcan did, at least as far as he knows. Or THEN ALSO I could see him getting Storm to back him up on this and she gets the Arraki to be like, well we owe this mutant a debt of gratitude for his role in making our new home, and actually his actions sound totally acceptable, we’re honestly not sure what the problem is, actually he sounds more like us than you so we’re happy to offer him sanctuary, and then the Council would shit their pants because they don’t want to lose an omega mutant to their war-like cousins since you KNOW more than a few of them are making contingencies in case they ever have to fight them again, and like, it’d split the loyalties of the entire Summers Clan in doubt and just...tons of story possibilities there. Lots to consider.

Eh, that’s not where they’re going with this at all though, so whatever. I’ll actually be really surprised if they do end up writing John as managing to successfully kill Empath.

Last thoughts.....this was weirdly the first time they EVER made me give a crap about Nanny? They managed to make me more interested in her in one issue than they have in her previous thirty-five years of existence, gave her more DEVELOPMENT in one issue than in all of that time, and when she was willing to sacrifice her just to save the orphanage from being destroyed I was like, holy shit. I....like...her?

And then they fucking ruined it all the very next page with how they had her react to Peter, and their ominous as fuck final epitaph. I’ll wait on deciding my full thoughts and feelings about that, and see just WHAT Peter ends up doing as a result....I have a feeling things are not going to end well for him and we might be close to seeing the last of him, especially with the inferences they’ve made about how destructive Peter’s true power is - whatever the hell it actually is. Like, Peter, at least, I can see the Council being more than willing to leave in the Hole, or just....put at the back of the resurrection queue for the rest of eternity. Which is shitty but would be perfectly in keeping with them and also I don’t actually know what he’s going to do yet.....like, is it going to be some bullshit like HE tries to destroy the Nursery or some shit because Nanny wanted to save it, or more likely is it gonna be something like he goes to the Right and betrays Krakoa or whatever and gives them valuable intel or something like that? Idk. 

Finally - YES MADDY’S COMING BACK. And she’s gonna be pisssssssed. Like, I don’t see how they’re planning to approach that, like....I’m expecting Xavier to try some serious editing on her back-up to maneuver WHICH point in time Maddy will come back remembering up to, because uh....that’s gonna matter a lot. But since this is all happening against his objections in the first place, and this seems more like Emma’s personal crusade to try and make up for her part in all this, I wouldn’t be surprised if Maddy comes back with full memories up to her most recent back-up.....which means she’s going to still be full on hating all of them, being like FUCK Krakoa AND your amnesty for all mutants I just want you all to burn, and oh yeah, on TOP of all that its inevitable she’s going to find out how much some of them FOUGHT to keep her from being resurrected, like....? Oh there is like only a 1 or 2% chance this ends any way other than TERRIBLY for everyone concerned.

(And yet I still hope they pull it off, because I don’t want her back just for one or two more issues, I want her back longterm. Ideally, I’d love her to take Jean’s place on the Council and pull it off with the support of like Mystique and Emma and Destiny and others as a giant fuck you to Xavier, but I’d also settle for her ditching Krakoa for Arakko and being like these are more my kinda people and also you can’t do shit to me here).

Oh and PS - lolololololol forever at Hank fucking McCoy trying to give Emma shit for her actions here. Like I mean, at least he’s AWARE he has literally no leg to stand on, whatsoever? I mean, I guess there’s that? But still. LMFAO OMG SHUT UP HANK YOU LITERALLY DON’T GET TO SAY SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BEING SHADY EVER.

Edit: Oh and also I forgot - I need to know how MUCH the Council found out about Sinister’s experiments, in particular if they found out he was ALREADY experimenting with making chimera mutants, like way ahead of schedule according to Moira’s LAST life in Powers of X, when like, the chimera mutants were a recent development as of a full hundred years in the future from now. Like, that changes a LOT and I would love to know what Xavier, Moira and Magneto think of that accelerated timetable and how it might change things.

[whetstonefires]

mcu ethics bad

The thing is that, while I was angry at Tony during Age of Ultron, particularly when he rode over Bruce’s compunctions about building a giant combat super-robot and pressured him into the project like a very very bad friend who happened to also be wrong...

...and when he equipped Hulkbuster armor and fought the Hulk in the middle of a city rather than attempting de-escalation or attempting to haul the Hulk out into the giant adjacent desert....

(And my suspension of disbelief snapped like a frayed cable when he brought down a skyscraper that had had no time to be evacuated on a street full of fleeing people and the only reason we were given to believe he hadn’t just cold-bloodedly created massive civilian casualties was that he told his AI to find the impossible magic angle where doing this wouldn’t kill anyone...)

While I was angry with him then, and unspeakably relieved that he recognized his own damage and retired at the end, haha psych, I was revolted by him during Civil War.

It’s supposed to make us sympathize with a character more, spending so much time with them, getting into their heads, being shown their emotional drives and reactions to things, and we spent so much time with Tony during that film, understanding his point of view. And...I did understand him. He’s not complicated. I even sympathized with his emotional state.

But in the context of his actions, throughout the film, I gazed into that understanding the way I did into Kylo Ren’s face in the seconds after he first unmasked. I see you, I know you, everything you are is written here, and the lines of your shame and self-revulsion are so thick upon you, and you should be ashamed but your self-destruction does not expiate or justify one jot of the harm you do.

Because everything Tony did in Civil War came from a place of selfishness. He was selfish all throughout that movie down to his very spine.

And selfishness isn’t itself necessarily bad--you need a little, to get through life, you have the right to your own portion of it. Your boundaries and your needs. But the type of selfishness that is forcing other people pay dearly for your emotional comfort and sense of control: no.

That is tyranny. That is not acceptable.

And you know how I know he was being selfish? Because his motive for pushing the Sokovia Accords was his personal guilt for the destruction of Sokovia.

But the Accords didn’t address that at all! They were tangential to the issue! None of the terms of the Accords would have saved Sokovia--in fact, the existence of them could easily have prevented the evacuation and harm-reduction the Avengers managed there, without saving a single soul.

The Ultron crisis was something Tony did, not as Iron Man but as Tony Stark, with Bruce Banner’s help, and which Wanda as criminal fugitive later helped exacerbate, and which all the other Avengers were involved in only to mitigate harm.

Legislation, or...treaties, idk, the UN isn’t actually empowered to pass laws so who knows what this thing was...aimed at preventing another Sokovia would mandate constant ethical oversight of billionaire science man’s mad science. At the very least! He never has to run things by ethics boards because he’s self-funded, at the very least let’s invent a mechanism to make up for that.

That would address the actual Sokovia issue, both in terms of risks and in terms of Tony’s personal guilt feelings.

But no one suggests that! It’s not even on the table! Because no one, certainly not any government, can tell Tony Stark what to do unless he lets them, that’s been a clear matter of record since Iron Man 2.

And because no one writing this legal instrument of whatever description was actually motivated by wanting to avoid another Sokovia, or even another ‘Wanda tries to neutralize a suicide bomber but merely gives him a different, smaller victim pool’ incident.

They didn’t care! They blatantly didn’t care! The entire thing was a ghoulish use of the dead to gain enough political leverage over the Avengers to put a leash on them!

(Which might not be a bad thing in principle, everything needs its checks, but when the last quasi-governmental organization you worked for turned out to be Nazis who were only prevented from staging a mass slaughter of undesireables by the skin of your teeth, I think you’re well within your rights to be very choosy about who you agree to obey, and to be firmly against pledging your honor to follow people whose first move was dishonest coercive tactics.

Actually you’re well within your rights to demand to negotiate the terms of even a much less sweeping contract, even without the Nazis. The whole approach to this thing stank to high heaven.

The fact that it was written by the UN like a treaty, expected to be signed by private individuals like a contract, and then enforced like a law except not because 1) laws are for everyone 2) if you break a law you get a trial not extrajudicial incarceration and 3) being pressured to consent to a restriction and then punished for refusing consent is hypocritical circular logic and in fact police corruption at its finest, all continues to show it was a bullshit nonsense franken-document.)

The whole movie is people ghoulishly using the dead to manipulate Tony into making bad decisions in response to his emotional pain. That’s. The plot of the film.

Then Zemo staged T’Chaka’s assassination and framed Bucky for it to raise the tension, ramp up the pressure, and prevent any sitting-down and talking reasonably through this, which might have allowed for the recognition of how extremely bullshit the entire concept was.

Tony was being used. Tony was a tool of bad people for most of that movie, and while Zemo banked on using his wrath for it, the politicos were leaning on his guilt.

And there’s honestly little I hold in deeper scorn than going out and hurting other people to assuage your own guilt and treating this as having the moral high ground. No. You don’t have the moral high ground on account of your guilt motivation. You have it if the actions you took were just, or at least could reasonably be assumed to have been so at the time.

And Tony fucking knew they weren’t. He didn’t even last to the end of the movie before recognizing that he’d been manipulated and fucked up, and doubling back.

That he then walked into a different manipulation, turned on a dime, and had to be stopped from doing a murder doesn’t unwrite that.

And it drives me nuts that people will say Tony was acting out of principle while Steve was acting out of personal attachment. Because sure, the Bucky thing was important, was the reason he was walking forward against all opposition instead of standing still to argue, but it wasn’t the reason Steve said no, while...

Tony wasn’t acting out of principle. Tony isn’t...very good at having principles. That’s not even a criticism or condemnation, it’s just how he functions. Since Iron Man he’s been substituting good intentions and emotional investment, which has worked out to varying degrees. It works best for huge, difficult, very straightforward decisions like ‘ride the nuke through the portal and save my hometown.’ It works less well for nuanced situations.

Tony was, as usual, acting out of emotion. And some awful shitheads who’d figured out where his levers were had calculated how to jiggle his emotion switches in the right places to make him do exactly what they wanted.

And you can tell he wasn’t acting out of principle because, for example, someone who was trying to get the superhero community under outside control for the sake of harm mitigation...

...well, firstly wouldn’t have chosen to stage a massive battle? But it’s possible someone in the UN specifically told him to do that, and in theory they at the very least signed off on it, presumably for its PR value of making Captain America look deranged and violent since it’s a deranged decision from every other angle, so yay, he can pass that responsibility up the chain and not have to angst about it, as promised.

But I was going to say would not have approached a minor who (this timeline takes pains to show us) had no prior experience of battle or even, somehow, serious violent crime, to recruit him to go be a government child soldier on another continent, without his guardian’s knowledge or consent. There were overtones of blackmail in Tony’s approach, before it turned out Peter was such a big fan he didn’t need that. What the fuck frankly.

That is not the action of someone who wants to start doing things by the letter, scaling the violence down, keeping within the law and putting the power of decisionmaking in other people’s hands because he’s realized he can’t trust his own.

And frankly even if he did act like that I wouldn’t necessarily support his choices, in particular his snap decision to behave coercively toward other Avengers with vastly less social power and security than he has.

And that’s the other thing! Everything about ‘Tony + Accords BFFs’ rings so hollow because he has never thought rules applied to him, and he knows perfectly well the entire time he’s fighting to force this surrender of agency down other people’s throats that he is going to be practically immune.

This man was technically a terrorist, proabably the most prolific single terrorist in world history until his rogue android exceeded his body count, but he was immune to prosecution because he was in tight with the United States military-industrial complex and basically untouchable due to his status within capitalism, and pursuing their international goals anyway. In the time between Iron Man and Iron Man II he was basically a one-man upgrade of the US drone program, and so good at it that the crest of blood he carved through the Middle East allowed him to announce he had ‘privatized world peace.’

(You are never going to get a world peace worth anything on the basis of a giant flying gun, okay.)

He went to war as a private individual, against non-state actors who were not directly threatening him, which is very much defined as ‘mass murder’ in all domestic and international law, and the US army in response sued him for control of his weapon. And lost! Lost.

No one attempted to press charges. No one. Because Tony Stark is above all that. And he knows it.

And like. I’m willing to accept the mass murder under the heading of ‘superheroing’ within the terms of this setting! Even if, after his vengeance rampage on his specific kidnappers, this violence was kept strictly off-screen for a reason. I did that! I bent that far! Genre convention!

But this history is kind of vitally important to any analysis of what he thought he was doing, and what he actually was doing, when he decided to become the iron gauntlet of the Sokovia Accords.

The currently active member of the Avengers who needed muzzling most was very manifestly Iron Man, and he knew even as he jammed the muzzle on all his comrades to make himself feel better that it would affect him the least, even if he didn’t finally retire for real this time. You don’t force Tony Stark. Not if you want anything out of it but blown up. You persuade him.

And once you have...oh, look at what he can do.

[clumsyclifford]

hi! idk if you're still doing the prompts but if you are #47? whatever pairing you're vibing with atm 😊 -🦥

HELLO! first of all, the pairing bot gave me malum after it gave me cashton twice but i didn’t feel like doing this for cashton so i wrote it malum, hope that’s cool. ALSO. one day i am going to write a real proper epistolary fic, mark my words, but for now this is all i have to offer you. i know it’s rather different from like. a Normal fic. but i had fun writing it so :)

read on ao3

-

Dear Calum,

My mum suggested I write you a letter because of the whole data thing in Brazil. I don’t know what that really means but apparently calling would be extremely expensive so I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s weird. Don’t really care. Deal with it.

So how is Brazil? I don’t know the time difference. Wait, I can look it up. Google says 13 hours. That means you’re a day behind me half the time. I’m in your future! It doesn’t look good for you, Cal. Future is pretty grim. If I were you I would stay in the past. Although by the time you get this it will be way in the future for both of us…oops. Oh well. I tried.

Anyway. What was I saying. Brazil? How is it? Hot, I bet. Probably playing loads of football. Luke and I have been playing FIFA but it’s so not the same. He sucks at it and he doesn’t even cheat because he’s boring I guess or has “morals” or whatever (his words not mine). I miss playing FIFA with you. Always beating Luke is not fun. Okay it’s a little fun. But I still miss you. As soon as you’re back you’re reclaiming the player 2 controller. Did I mention that I miss you? You probably get it.

What can I update you about here? There’s not a lot to say. Nothing has really happened. At least not in my life. Oh! I can tell you a secret but don’t tell Luke I told you because he will definitely kill me. Not that you have any way to reach Luke. Don’t go behind my back and write a letter to Luke telling him I told you this. Anyway: Luke fancies Ashton! I totally got him to admit it during one of the FIFA games I mentioned. It was almost cute if I’m honest. He turned really red and got all blushy and stammery. I am now wondering if I should meddle or not. On the one hand, Ashton must like him back, right? Have you seen the two of them? I don’t want to deal with intra-band sexual tension. Unless it’s ours. We’ve already claimed the “insufferable band boyfriends” role though, so do we really want this to happen? I don’t really know what I’m arguing anymore. I don’t think I’ll do anything for now. Will keep you updated in case anything dramatic happens. Then again I have no idea how long it’ll be before you receive this. Something very dramatic might happen while this is in the post. Let me ask my mum. Okay she says it could be two weeks. That’s fucking long. You might just have to come back and get the Luke/Ashton updates in real time.

Besides from that there isn’t much to report. Everything is the same. Except I’m a lot lonelier now. This is what you’ve done to me Calum. I’m returning to my natural introvert state. I need you here, Cal!! Otherwise I’ll just have to become a turtle and by the time you’re back it might be too late. 

I’m joking by the way. I hope you’re having a good time at football camp. Making new friends and learning Brazilian(?) Portuguese and kicking everyone’s arse and showing them up. I’m sure you are. I just miss you lots. :( Counting down the days!

Sending you lots of kisses and cuddles through the post,

Mikey

~

Dear Michael,

I don’t care either! I think writing letters is cool. We’re like lovers at war. Except neither of us are going to die. Probably. (Some of these footballers are CRAZY good. You never know!)

Actually, Brazil is pretty nice. It’s winter so the days have actually been not too hot, thankfully. It’s exhausting enough playing as it is. If it got any hotter, I might actually pass out. Forever. They’d have to ship me home in a body bag. (Are those only for dead people? Maybe not a body bag.)

It’s been almost two weeks since you sent your letter (I assume you sent it soon after I left?) which means there’s a good chance this one won’t get to you until I do, but in case it does I’m going to write and post it anyway. I hope by now you’re getting on better with Luke. If I’ve said it once or a million times, you guys have a lot in common and I really think you could be best friends if you weren’t both such stubborn shitheads. Which I say in the nicest way possible!

Of course Luke fancies Ashton, he’s liked Ashton since…honestly I don’t know when. Months and months at least. And Ashton clearly likes him back. I’ve never seen two people less capable of hiding their feelings. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. Please tell me you decided to meddle in the end. You’re right, we can’t handle more sexual tension in the band. Don’t worry, they can’t possibly be more insufferable than we are. We are the most annoying boyfriends on the planet. We’re writing each other letters. Basically, it’s best for everyone involved if they get over themselves. Suck it up and kiss already! My friend Gustavo agrees with me. Also he says hi. (Well he says “oi” but I translated for you. See, I can do stuff like that. Kinda cool, right?)

I miss you too, you know. Very much. This might sound weird, but I keep having dreams about you? Like…I’ll be dreaming about whatever (usually football these days) and then you’ll just be there. Clearly my subconscious also knows I miss you. You know Ashton says that when you dream about someone, it’s because they’re thinking about you, so I hope that’s true. It’s kind of a cute idea. I hope you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you. Obviously. A lot. A lot.

There is one thing I want to tell you, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and the more I think about it the crazier it feels, but also more right. So…I think I’m gonna do the band. Not football. This is cool and all, but everyone here is so scary good, and…I don’t know. Maybe this is stupid but I don’t like the idea of a future without you when I could have a future with you. Like with the band, I mean. And I know it’s not the most practical dream, but imagine how cool it would be if it actually worked out. You know I like a challenge. So, anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at now. I’m going to keep thinking about it for the last two weeks here, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind. Don’t tell anyone, please. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. My parents are going to be soooo mad. Not excited to tell them, but this feels like the right decision.

Anyway…this got weirdly deep. Sorry. Here’s something super not-deep to make up for it: one of the football coaches here has a dog whose name in English is pasta! PASTA! (It might be apple. Apparently they’re the same word just spelled differently and the Brazilians here can clearly tell the difference. I cannot. But I think it’s way funnier if the dog’s name is pasta so I’m going with that. Not that apple is much better? Imagine seeing any dog at all and thinking, “You know what this dog’s name should be? A common food item.” LOL.)

This letter is so long and I’m running out of space on the page and I also really need to go to sleep! The boys are telling me to turn off the lights. I miss you so much. Football camp is fun, but I can’t wait to be back. Counting down the days!

Thank you for the cuddles and kisses I am sending them right back to you,

Cal

~

“Oh my God,” Michael mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, “you smell.”

Calum laughs, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Michael. “Seriously? I haven’t seen you in a whole month and that’s the first thing you say?”

“Ugh, I missed you so much, but that’s boring to say, you already knew it,” Michael says, drawing back to kiss Calum for a second. Then he buries his face in Calum’s neck. “Seriously, I’m not joking, if you ever leave me alone for that long again, I will die.”

“You had Luke. And Ashton.”

Michael groans loudly and overdramatically. “Ashton is busy with family stuff all the time and don’t you dare compare yourself to Luke.”

“We’re going to talk about this,” Calum says. “You’re going to be friends with him if it kills me.”

“Then prepare to die,” Michael says. Calum laughs, pressing a kiss to the slope of Michael’s neck. “I tried, okay? I promise I did. I said in my letter we were playing FIFA! Did you get my letter? I didn’t know how to check if it ever actually arrived.”

“I got it,” Calum says, stomach lurching with nerves. Ignoring them for the moment, he squeezes Michael and then steps back to give him a full once-over. “I loved it. It made me laugh. God, I really missed you, you know?”

“Join the fucking club,” Michael says, smiling. He’s been smiling this whole time, Calum realises; he’s just good at sounding like he’s whining even when he’s smiling. That’s probably the most Michael thing Michael can do.

“Alright, boys,” Mali says from a ways away. “Come on. Let’s go. And seriously, Calum? You hug Michael but not me?”

Calum throws his arms around Mali, and Mali wraps him in a hug. “Missed you,” Calum says sweetly in her ear. “Thank you for coming to get me. And for bringing Michael.”

“You’re welcome,” Mali says drily. They separate and Mali just gives him a small smile. “And I missed you too, you punk. Come on, you both. Baggage claim awaits.”

Mali takes off and Calum lingers behind until he can throw an arm over Michael’s shoulder. Michael leans heavily into him. It’s been so long since the last time Calum had Michael in his arms, but it’s so immediately familiar that it almost knocks Calum off his feet. 

“So…” Calum bites his lip. “Did you get my letter? I sent it just after yours arrived, but I don’t know if it got here before me.”

Michael shakes his head. “Nope, nothing.” Something in his voice tells Calum he’s making no mistake. He’d probably checked the mail every day, just to see. There’s a pang in Calum’s chest, all mixed up with the anxiety flitting out to his fingertips from inside his rib cage. 

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well, there was something in there that I wanted to tell you, but I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um.” He drops his voice to a half-whisper, clears his throat. “I don’t want to tell Mali or anyone yet, but…I decided I’m not going to do football.”

Michael jerks. “What?”

“I want to be in the band,” Calum says quietly. His heart is racing, but at least it’s racing towards the finish line instead of away. This is the right decision. He’s…ninety-five percent sure. That’s enough to know. It has to be enough to know. “I just, you know, football is fun, but music is more fun. To me. And anyway, um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “If I have a choice between a career that has you in it or one that doesn’t, I choose you. Obviously.”

“You’re gonna be in the band?” Michael repeats lowly, looking over at Calum like he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. “Seriously? You’d give up football?”

Calum shrugs, nods. “Yeah. I know my parents are going to kill me, but I don’t care. This is what I want.”

Michael stares at him. “I love you,” he says, and then kisses Calum too fiercely to give Calum adequate time to process that. 

By the time they break apart, he’s processed it. And as he inhales to catch his breath, licking his lips, he knows with one-hundred-percent certainty that this is the right choice.

“I love you too,” Calum says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Where Michael is concerned, it usually is.

[haikyuuwaifu]

This is half vent but you're the most chill and wise person I know so I feel like I can trust you? (You won't judge me being a ho at least).

Also possible trigger warning for unwanted physical contact.

In summer between lockdowns I met up with a person in my extended friend group I'd hooked up with a couple of times pre-plague (with clear 'not interested in a relationship' discussion before). I'd said it was just friends, no touching, no kissing, I'm not interested, I'm just getting out of the house. That got ignored. I froze up until he was trying to take my top off, and my 'no' and pushing were ignored at first, something was said along the lines of making me want it. He stopped before anything actually happened, and aside from making myself sick by refusing to take off any layers, including a hoodie I put on, on a very hot day with no ac or fan, I thought I was okay with it. (For bonus points he had a go at me for multiple days telling me I was a bad person for hurting him, and illogical because he would spend a lot of money on me, when I told him again I didn't want to date him).

So, I thought I was fine and over it. Then as things are getting back to normal I started talking to people again. Went to go hang out with a guy I'd talked to online about anime thinking it was mostly just friendly. But he kissed me and I froze and panicked again. Made a shitty excuse and practically ran away in a panic.

Idk what to do. In the old days I was a sex on the first date no regrets kinda person, now I'm running away if someone tries to kiss me. I feel so dumb, it's not like the old hook up actually did anything to me for real, I wasn't assaulted or anything really bad. And it was really my fault in the first place for agreeing to hang out with him at all. I just want my mojo back.

Thank you for listening and being a safe space, I haven't been able to tell anyone about what happened.

First off, that guy is trash. You made your boundaries clear, and he tried to make you feel guilty. Second off, there's nothing wrong with you! And nothing is your fault.

Mama is gonna be honest with you. Before I had babies, before I got married, I was a HOE. I didn't give a shit about nothin but my damn self. I went out with guys, let them buy me dinner, buy me stuff, and didn't even fuck'em. I fucked assholes, who didn't buy me gifts (I made sure they bought me food because priorities). I did some not so good things, involved myself in not so good situations, and I literally did not CARE who got hurt in the process.

I'm going to blame 75% of my behavior on myself, because I'm an adult, and I should have better decisions, but 25% of that is gonna go toward my parents, my dad especially (serial cheater) and my mom (serial vicitim) for the lack of care that I had for myself, the people involved, other people involved.

But what he did to you, wasn't okay. And as sure as you think that you're "okay" it might take a while to fully process and move on from that point. It'll take some time, but you'll get it back. That guy is a total shithead, and you'll find a way to replace how he made you feel with something a million times better.

[aforrestofstuff]

top 5 favorite opm ships

List may vary depending on how horny I am. In no particular order:

1. Zombuki (Zombieman and Fubuki)

Is this a crack ship? It’s possible. I’m basically just shoving two characters together and going “and kiss” but that’s okay because I’m having the time of my life, baby. I’ve written 2 fics for these fuckheads and they’re not published and probably never will be. But right now I’m working on a smutty installment that Kiyoko is helping me with, and I’m probably going to publish this one. I’m really bad at writing so I needed to consult The Expert lol.

Idk I just really like their hypothetical dynamic? Fubuki is really uptight and stringy and Zombieman is easygoing.... she’s x he’s y, that kinda thing. Opposites attract. And we’ve seen how tender Zombieman is to those he cares about, as evident in his interactions with Child Emperor. He’s got many facets, including being a little bastard whenever he’s with Genus. Fubuki is the same way. They’re both all business 90% of the time but when they’re with each other, it’s not hard to imagine those hard demeanors melt away. Major Mr and Mrs. Smith vibes.

2. Tanktop Master and Mumen Rider (idk the ship name for this. Tanktop Rider?)

latest chapter has shifted my opinion on these two majorly. I always thought they were really good together but now I read their interactions over and the tension is PALPABLE....

As I’ve said before, they look like your average twink x hunk ship or whatever but Mumen isn’t a twink!! He’s super ripped! And it’s so funny to see someone already jacked as hell be dwarfed by someone even MORE jacked like TTM.

3. Batarou (Garou and Metal Bat)

7 fics of these shitheads on my Ao3. Need I say more.

4. Zombikaze (Zombieman and Atomic Samurai)

Disgruntled dead dad and disgruntled samurai dad. It’s a match made in heaven. I’ve been thinking of doing a “family portrait” drawing of Atomic Samurai and his 3 hooligans with Zombieman and Child Emperor in a sort of Breakfast Club posing with Okama on the floor and everyone else like this:

But figuring out the posing was actually way harder than it looked at the time and so I abandoned the project. I think I have the skills to pull it off now but it’ll take a lot of time to do it right. However, despite my artistic limitations, I still ship this shit hardcore and I really like the idea of two over-the-hill, mature adults finding love on a battlefield and giving each other pointers on their specific combat styles while their relationship evolves into something more intimate on the side. Atomic Samurai could tutor Zombieman on close-quarters sword-fighting and Zombieman can teach him some more ranged techniques. Child Emperor could also babysit Bushidrill. The possibilities are endless.

5. Mumensai (Saitama and Mumen Rider)

Baby who feels too much and baby who feels too little. Mumen’s lust for life (yes, lust for life. Mumen might be borderline suicidal in how he approaches deadly threats but he still wants to live, dammit. Even if it’s just to help people) directly counters Saitama’s indifference towards it and as I said before, opposites attract. Their dynamic leaves little to be desired, honestly.

Thanks for your ask! ❤️

[fuck-customers]

Gaslighting

There's this little teenage shit at my work who tries to gaslight me by insisting that we've had conversations that never occurred. The latest incidence of this was him turning his light off an hour before his shift was over. I went over to see what was up, like if he had a difficult customer he anticipated would hold up his line or if he just had to use the bathroom or something.

But no, he was like, "You told me to turn my light off at 6 for computer training."

That never happened. We had nothing even remotely similar to a conversation like that. Management has been having to get a bunch of computer training done for everyone recently but I happen to know that this shithead is done with his, because I'm the one who set him up for it when he did it and I confirmed that he was done. I think he was hoping that wouldn't occur to me and that I'd just roll with it, as if I'm an absentminded idiot, and that I'd set him up on a computer in the office and he could just sit around doing nothing for an hour. Which doesn't really make sense because setting someone up means looking at the list of training courses due, and it would show that he doesn't have anything due, but this kid isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

I wasn't taking any of his bullshit and told him, "[His Name], I did not tell you that. Maybe you're getting me confused with [supervisor who was there before me] but if you had any training due she would have mentioned it AND there'd be a note in my lineup book about it."

He didn't take the out I offered him and committed to the bullshit, telling me that he'd come over to my station and that I'd told him explicitly to turn his light off at 6 so he could go in the back for computer training. When I told him that never happened, my tone getting sterner, he pulled that whole "Geez, relax! It's not that big of a deal!" shit. This kid is a gong farmer.

Dude, I get that you're young, inexperienced, and arrogant (a great combination) and maybe don't realize this, but being a manipulative liar at your place of work actually is kind of a big deal. If you succeed with that nonsense here, like with one of my stressed out counterparts who have other jobs and kids to worry about who might think it's possible they forgot an entire conversation with you, you're going to go on and try to pull this shit elsewhere and your future supervisors/managers/bosses won't be as nice about it. Knock it off.

He ended up bringing it up again, insisting that the conversation really happened, and I told him that if he wasn't lying to me and earnestly believed what he was saying that he needed to see a doctor because him recalling events that never happened is cause for concern. But considering that all the times this has happened in the past it's been in his favor, I highly doubt he's having some sort of neurological/psychiatric issue. It's not a coincidence that every invented conversation he's insisted we've had involves him getting to get off register. He hates register but no one lets him do anything else because he's honestly incompetent and lazy af. For someone who wants to get off register so badly he really fumbles literally every other task a cashier can possibly do. I can't even let him empty garbages because the concept of putting a new liner in and tying a knot in the side so that the bag doesn't slip into the bin is impossible for him to grasp and I don't have time to babysit him.

His mom also works at the store and I'm considering talking to her about it, from the angle of concern. Something like, "Hey, so I've been noticing something going on with [His Name] and I thought I should mention it to you because I want to make sure he's alright. On several occasions now he's insisted that we've had conversations that never happened. The first couple times I thought he must have just been confused but it keeps happening. Is he okay?" But idk how petty I want to be. He's technically not a minor anymore (18) but he lives with his mom and only has this job because of her and tbh I'm getting fed up with his shit. If he's doing it to me (literally the least receptive supervisor he has to his bs) he's definitely doing it to other people and he needs a wake up call.

[pettrichore]

so.. i’m not quite sure how to begin this. i guess i really just need to get something out there regarding my past relationship (well relationships kinda?) and my gender and sexual identity. this is something i need to get off my chest i think and something that, hopefully, will help someone else out?? at least to not make the mistake i made/could have made. i know many people have similar experiences, so i’m not alone in this but.. yeah anyway. everything under the cut

some cw before hand: misgendering, deadnaming, possibly some dubious ???? things around sex ??? done to me (idk how to class it but i just wasnt comfortable w it) though i DO NOT go into any detail. most of this shit i discuss is very vague in how i talk about it but it is mentioned.  

so for the past year about i was in a relationship with this guy. we’ll call him A for convenience sake. before we ever really started dating i came out to A though.... honestly not fully. i just said i was nonbinary and that i dont like being called a girl etc etc. i never REALLY went into how i kinda??? am but really i identify as a guy. i prefer male pronouns etc etc. we spent that night crying together and even after i thought things were good, we hit another rocky patch at the start of our relationship where he didn’t know WHAT to do. after that though it was pretty smooth sailing. A kinda... idk like he would sometimes make shit more awkward than it had to be???? lots of “idk what to call you in this situation” but he TRIED and for that i was grateful. i lied to my friends, and yall im sorry but mostly im sorry to myself, and said yeah no!! he treats me like a boy/like i should be treated etc etc. but this man is STRAIGHT and.... yeah. idk im also sorry to him a bit because i didnt just.. tell him hey no this isnt going to work. clearly you dont like guys like that. im a GUY no matter how i look or what i let other ppl call me bc im not OUT out. but i let this shit happen.

i was thrilled that when i wanted to cut my hair short and shit he was excited and said i’d look great. i was thrilled about a lot of things. i think shit started out okay though i shouldnt have started a relationship with someone who was so out of his own depth and who... wasnt going to be able to love and respect me like i needed. anyway shit continued though and i stopped trying to correct him with any female pronouns or whatever. i... kinda gave into that side of things. it’s not that i DONT like putting on makeup. it’s not that i dont sometimes actually love how i look (i’ve come more to terms with my looks actually) idk im not really gender conforming anyway so yeah.. but i REALLY gave in. when talking to him i even referred to myself as a girl and so on to which he was surprised and i tried to act nonchalant about. i was just really doing myself a disservice. god i even like... cut myself off from my own friends which.. that’s a whole other thing but at that point i had NO ONE who would call me by my NAME not my dead name. who would love and respect me for me. and when i came back to it god it was so fucking refreshing to hear it. 

i apologize if some of this shit seems a bit all over the place. anyway so not only was i fucking myself over and hurting myself but... he honestly didnt.. idk A was kinda a shithead with things!! ngl!!! im still furious that i was like.. okay you can call me THIS nickname and this nickname ONLY. bc it was comfortable enough and wasnt my full deadname yknow?? and at first it was cool but.. he refuses to do that now!! and i just never had the energy to argue with him because i would look like the bad guy. i always looked like the bad guy when i expressed that something made me upset (and that’s a whole other topic of why it’s sooo fucking good i got my heart broken and im no longer dating him.. god he wanted to get MARRIED yall i could have been SO trapped in something SO bad) anyway the thing that pisses me off the most about the name thing though is that he doesnt like his full first name. like he just doesnt like it. and like wants to be called by a nickname. so fine yes god i respect that and call him as such. but why does HE get the respect of a nickname he’s fine with and I do not???? makes NO fucking sense right??

i dont really know where i’m going with this anymore.. anyway i kinda just convinced myself that things would be fine. that i was faking it. that i WAS cis. that i was 1000% okay with all of this!! that if i just got used to it i could love it. that if he touched me in ways i didnt fully like or if he called me things that i didnt like either that.. i would get used to it. that it would be good!! we could be happy!!! honestly i did this with everything in our relationship. be it the small disagreements, the sex, or whatever. ugh.. i was so wrong i was so fucking.. in my own head about it. convinced that like.. NO ONE will love me how i want. no one will see me as i am. so i’ll take this one slight (not at all) victory. i’ll take the fact that i’m loved here and pretty happy for the most part and i’ll run with it. because how WILL i meet someone who likes me like i want and need??? i CANNOT come out. i cant go on dating apps with my actual gender. i cant just.. do any of that. and i met him. he was okay with some shit and he loved me and i loved him and yknow what i’ve GOTTA take it and run. i’m still scared i’ll never really be loved like i should. this is the SECOND time i started a relationship with a probably/def straight guy and came out. first time it was okay but i didnt really like him. he is ?? bi ??? now idk. and then he like misgendered me the second we broke up so lol. 

anyway this doesnt have a happy ending (yet) but i hope it will... and even if it doesnt i hope that if someone reads this and they’re in a similar situation that ur honest with yourself and your partner or whoever. i cant say i wont be an idiot again but i really hope not. this whole experience was much longer and much harder on me than the first guy i dated for like a few weeks in high school. i never want to go through this again.. but yeah i mean i’m still so fucking scared. i’m fine being single for now. i also wont just jump into a relationship anymore but... honestly i do want to be loved. i want to be loved the way i should be. i want someone who will accept me not being OUT out. someone who will love the way i look even if it doesnt look like a guy or someone super androgynous. and someone who will call me danny. who will refer to me by the right pronouns and such. idk who that’ll be or when i’ll meet that person but god.. i need it. i need to stop falling for straight boys lol

[starryace]

my personal introduction to vav

so i have a few friends who’ve been wanting to get into vav but dunno where to start so... i’ll just do this lil thing. obviously there’s gonna be my own opinions so don’t take everything i say to heart but like... here we go

vav (very awesome voice -- pronounced vee-ay-vee but i say vav bc im lazy) debuted in 2015, but when they debuted they had a different lineup. zehan, xiao, and gyeoul all left to pursue other activities. ziu, lou, and ayno joined the group in 2017! the fandom is called vampz because of the groups original concept but we don’t talk about that

title tracks/mvs: *under the moonlight | *brotherhood | *no doubt | *here i am | venus (dance with me) | flower (you) | abc (middle of the night) | she’s mine | spotlight | gorgeous | give it to me | senorita | **so in love | **thrilla killa | **i’m sorry | give me more

* = pre-line up switch! | ** = without jacob (due to his participation in a chinese program)

more about the members under the cut!

st van (lee geumhyuk)

note: during updating i ended up having to redo this entire section bc my computer deleted it all... sigh.

everyone’s dad

kinda gives off party vibes, like a cool club dad, you know?

super duper soft :(( he laughs at everything and he loves gentle things and he may be the oldest but he’s babie

gets really embarrassed really easily and blushes and laughs it off

oh! he also laughs with like... his entire body ekhrbgj

tattoos! on his shoulder and right arm

full sleeve completed

self composed the track “im sorry” off of the thrilla killa album

he lived in china for 13+ years and can speak fluent (if not, almost fluent) chinese

he’s super good cook and he wanted to be a chef before becoming an idol

loves jacob :(( with all his heart

weird but he can drink a lot of water really quickly, that’s his special talent

got a dog with the group! her name is cash and she’s super cute

im sure there’s more but i got mad after my computer deleted everything so i’ll get back to updating this part when things dawn on me

baron (choi chunghyeop)

dancer extraordinaire! he actually used to be in a dance team before vav

smiley boy ;;;; literally he has the prettiest smile and the nicest teeth

he can play the piano and a lil guitar im p sure!

he’s honestly a lil shit but we love him anyway

he’s very mom like, and loves taking care of the members, but i spy with my lil eye someone a lil more mom-like but that comes later

he choreographed a cover of shape of you!

unfortunately, his mom passed away early this year (may she rest in peace).

his nickname is baby prince (from his mom) and it was because of his mom that he was able to become and idol

baron singing??? yes,,, yeS!! his voice is godsent istg

he loves loves loves music and dance

wont shut up about millennium dance studio

was the pizza delivery boy in minx’s why did you come to my home

has a very intensive skin care routine

he!! loves!! food!! constantly nomming

ace (jang wooyoung)

remember how i said how i thought there was someone more mom like? meet ace.

literally babies everyone

eSPECIALLY ayno + ziu (sometimes lou, when lou will let him)

sassy, diva, can also be a lil shit -- esp with baron... 92 line is just lil shit line

lil fucking tease, too--

he has an oral fixation-- licks his lips a lot no bueno for me

teal hair? god tier. senorita? also god tier. everything about him? god tier.

plays the guitar... see senorita

“you’re doing wonderful sweetie” but like... a living version of that

abs... abs for days..........

works out with jacob

dimples!! but it’s more prominent on the right cheek.

god he’s??? literally ethereal. like i can’t put into words how pretty he is

he ;;;; has the purest, most sweetest heart

they need to start letting ace have more lines bc omg his voice ;;;;;

really good with kids ;;;;; they love him

he’s a BIG flirt, it’s like when he opens his mouth the only thing he thinks to do is say “i love you” or “you’re mine” or smthn

Prince Wooyoung™

ayno (noh yoonho)

was on no.mercy -- still kinda keeps in contact with monsta x now (hims was lil babie minhyuk)

yknow how baron is dancer? so is ayno -- aYNO IS GOD TIER DANCER ok he ;;;;; ugh he’s literally so talented

he raps too! also god tier

hims a soundcloud rapper -- dropped zero coke (mixtape) and god that boy is talented

self composed their song touch you (aka one of my fave vav songs)

ace’s baby... really, he’s vav’s baby, but still

fake maknae to the max. it still baffles me that he’s older than the others ima list

hims also pretty shy, but it’s real cute ;;;;

lou has such a big fat crush on him and he’s always embarrassed by it

he zones out a lot and is very mellow & quiet until something inside him switches and then he’s like BAM loud and crackhead

ziu.... brings out... the crackhead in him lbr

former happyface ent trainee w/ ziu

puppy!

also really good with kids!! prolly bc he is a big kid himself erhbjeg

often writes his own raps for songs

jacob (zhang peng)

resting bitch face to the max

800% done with everyone’s shit

chinese member!

he was performing in a chinese show called all for one -- his team got eliminated (sad) but that means he’ll be returning to the group (happy!)

that’s why he wasn’t in so in love/thrilla killa/im sorry

hims loves his st van

he also eats... a lot.

ok but like... he works out with ace, right? boy has such chiseled and nicely defined abs, it pains me

he’s a happy lil sunshine boy

savage as fuck

his smile literally adds 5 years to your lifespan

all of the members miss him so much ;;;; its honestly super wholesome and every once in a while they’ll be like “omg cobi would love this” or “jacob....... we miss you”

but then you have shithead lou being like “i mean... its nice having the room to myself” wrehbjehg

he dance too! idk what type of dancing it is but he does it!!!

he was in the chinese movie “the dreamer on the catwalk”

BRING HIM BACK ATEAM PLS I MISS HIMS

HE HAS RETURNED AND HE’S STRONGER THAN EVER

lou (kim hosung)

my #1, my one and only, my precious sweetheart

tall as fUCK

has a deep ass motherfucking voice

grew up in georgia as a kid (can speak fluent english) and then the philippines when he was a teen!

kinda the more quiet & reserved member

but dont let that fool you......

he too is a lil shit

AND A CHAOTIC GAY -- ziu bothers him a lot but he has a big ol’ crush on ayno and he never shuts up about how pretty he is and how much he loves him

he can be a grouchy lil bitch too tho hkerbjeg

in this interview baron and st van were being cute and he’s just in the corner like “youuuu shouuuld daaaate” -- gay. in the same interview thats one instance where he wouldn’t shut up about ayno

hims a rapper too!! he often writes his own raps for songs (much like ayno)

his own mixtape (goodnight) literally is so nice i listen to it all the time

he has a vlive thing he does called lou-dio and it’s real cute

big ears = the cutest thing ever ehkrbgjeh

he collects a bunch of stuff!! like pop figures and toys, like souvenirs from everywhere they go

he was in the youtube webdrama “lemon car video” (eps 1, 3, 7, and 8)

his stage name is lou (pronounced “low” but i refuse to say that) because his voice is so low

ziu (park heejun)

chaotic. just chaotic. chaotic gay, chaotic maknae, chaotic man.

he’s the real maknae tho... doesn’t look it, huh?

manly af

literally so charismatic and funny as hell

wants kisses + love + attention from everyone

goes in for a kiss -- everyone else usually backs away but he’s always disappointed that no one gives into him

kisses kisses kisses

did i mention kisses?

he makes a lot of random ass noises all the time

screm... lots of screm. like you know opossums?? think that kinda screm.

his vocals ;;;;; his singing voice is so, so nice ;;; i adore it.

his room is dirty af i could NEVER

he does some really questionable things sometimes... see here.

like i said, i cannot express this enough... he’s so charismatic. so charming. so handsome.

also!! super hyper fluff ball. hims cute.

aegyo up the wazoo too

former happyface ent trainee with ayno

was in the fri.sat.sun teasers by dalshabet

can get p loud & annoying but that doesnt change how much we love him

idk if any of that made sense... but there you go! there’s so much more to vav and everything they do and who they are, so i hope this just kinda gets more people to look into them? it’s a stepping stone, not everything possible to learn.

+ keep in mind, a lot of this stuff comes from both kprofiles, what i’ve seen in videos, and my own personal opinions & inputs. so... yeah. don’t use what i say as truth/fact unless you see stuff to back it up (or you adopt it as your own opinion idk).

thank you for taking your time to read this!!

[kagomechronicles]

Are you taking scenarios? If so, I'd like a Levi/Kagome scenario where Levi is forced to come to terms with how much he cares for her. But with a TWIST! Could you also make it somewhat tragic and grim (without either of them dying)? Idk if this makes sense, but think of a super twisted situation to place them in. And make it clear that Levi has fallen in love with her. Thank you ~ I love your writing!

Oh my… Oh oh my… This is something…. I’ll do my best!For some background, Kagome will be a member of Levi’s Squad, and this takes place before Annie is discovered to be the Female Titan. (This could be a weird spin off of my fic Where I Belong) 

Also, I didn’t edit this at all. (WARNING: THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME)

“Oi! Where the hell is she?” Levi’s dark and threatening voice startled the two lower-ranked scouts that guarded the dungeon area.

“C-Captain!” They both turned to salute him, trembling and nervous as he closed the distance, “I- uh… We’re under strict orders not to divulge any information to anyone, including you.”

Levi leaned in close, eyes narrowing in on both soldiers, “Is that so? Well, it’s quite unfortunate for you that I don’t seem to give a damn about your orders. Tell me where she is or I will kick the answers out of both of you. Your pick.”

Both of them visibly gulped before pointing down the hall. “Last cell on the right.” One piped up after a few seconds.

The captain sped in that direction, though not before turning back and telling those poor men to get the fuck out of here, to which they immediately obliged. He was annoyed. No, he was absolutely furious about what he had heard. He had seen that everyone was going insane trying to figure out the identity of the Female Titan and possible allies, like some sort of sick obsession that clouded their minds, but he never expected that this would happen. His burning rage was practically boiling his blood and he was sure his skin would be hot to the touch right about now. 

Though, nothing would have prepared him for what he’d see when he walked into that cell.

Kagome Higurashi stood there, shoulders hunched over like she was about to fall, but her wrists were chained above her head to keep her up. There was a blindfold that covered her eyes as if to keep her even further in the dark about her own detainment, like the shadowy darkness in the cell wasn’t enough. 

But more than that, as he looked down at her clothes, a typical white button up and tan pants, he noticed that they were all torn and stained with a brown-crimson, which he could only assume was dried up blood. Her dried up blood. Levi swallowed harshly at that realization. And, with further examination, he realized that the same colors seemed to be painted on bits of her skin as well, especially on her limp hands.

“Please…” Her voice squeaked out like it was taking all of her energy, “No more. I swear, I don’t know anything…”

He walked closer to her. When her mouth was closed, she looked like she was practically dead. He would have assumed that if he hadn’t detected the faintest rise and fall of her chest.

“I can’t take it anymore.” She whispered again. 

And neither could he. He couldn’t stand that, right now, she thought he was going to hurt her. Of course, she couldn’t see who he was, but hearing her beg him like that still made him feel like a monster. And he was no stranger to human torture. He had numbed himself to it because it was a necessity in some cases. But when the pleads came from her dried and tired lips, his stomach dropped and he felt absolutely sick. 

With one quick movement, he ripped her blindfold off of her and watched as she blinked her eyes in astonishment, her vision adjusting as she looked around the cell before landing her gaze on him.

“L-Levi…” It was mumbled at first as though she was asking herself if he was even real right now. And then, her eyes widened and she gasped, “Levi! You have to listen to me. I don’t know anything.”

“I know you don’t, Kagome.” He huffed, slowly raising his hand and gently wiping away some of the dirt and grime on her cheek with his thumb.

“You do? You believe me?” Her brows were turned upward as she seemed to have to catch her breath after each sentence. Exhausted. That was the only way he could think to describe it.

“Tch. I’m not an idiot, Kagome. If you were a damn enemy, I would have figured that out a long time ago.” He asserted, and the woman let out a breath of relief.

“…They don’t believe me, though. Hange, Moblit, Miche, even Erwin. They keep saying that I’m working with the Female Titan.” Kagome eyes glazed over as her body trembled, “And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t take another one of their interrogations, Levi. It’s too much.”

“What did they do?” He asked, trying to keep his patience despite his own growing desperation to know. Not that anyone would be able to tell as his demeanor remained stoic.

“Hit me. Whipped me. Broke all of my fingers. All while screaming for information that I don’t have.” She hissed out, “Next, they will rip out my fingernails. I can’t go through with that…” She took inhaled shakily, “…If you can’t save me, could you kill me?”

His breath hitched in his throat at that request. And he continued to stare with his unreadable, yet focused expression before forcing out a quiet ‘yes’.

But he didn’t want to let it get that far. He had lost almost every member of his squad so far besides her and Eren. And that made her the second-in-command because of her skills and kill count. He didn’t want to lose that asset. With the Scout Regiment’s high death rate, they couldn’t afford to lose such a promising soldier. 

Or at least, that was his rationale. He tried to reason with himself that he was only getting so damn worked up about her pain because he knew she was innocent, on top of being absolutely valuable. That had to be the explanation. And yet, he couldn’t stop staring into her, meeting her gaze, swallowing her whole and wondering if this was going to be the last time. Wondering if anyone would ever have eyes like hers or if she was some once in a lifetime sort of experience. 

“Oi, Levi! Back away from her!” Another voice echoed into the cell, and Levi quickly turned to see Hange and Miche standing in the doorway, “She is a suspect. We have to interrogate her as such without letting any emotion get in the way.” Miche was confident with that assertion, and Hange seemed to stand by it.

“Is that why you didn’t tell me that you arrested her? You were just gonna interrogate a member of my squad, then act like you hadn’t seen her all damn day? Tch. Pathetic. Of course I’d find out.” He stood up, grateful that he had been wearing his ODM gear. “I’m not going anywhere without her. It’s not her fault you’re all too obsessed with the Female Titan to use your shitty brains. She’s obviously not involved in this.”

“We have reason to believe she is.” Hange countered.

“Yeah, I heard about that little tip you jackasses got. What? Some anonymous note connecting Kagome’s vague past to some psychotic Titan shifter?” The captain began gripping the handles of his blades tightly, both still in their metal sheathes. “That’s what you’re torturing her based on? There’s been no real evidence against her, fucking shitheads. And I’m not letting you touch her, again.”

The room was tense, thick air almost unbreathable. No one seemed to be backing down, and the dark-haired man began to wonder if he really was going to have to kill Kagome here and now.

“Levi, we can’t let her go until we’re completely certain that she’s innocent.” Hange maintained, though the fact that she was currently dressed in a white apron with latex gloves. It was clear the plan wasn’t just to hold her in this cell.

“Then, I’ll watch over her until then. I could handle it better than you, shitty four-eyes. And way better than that fucking tree next to you.” The captain growled. He had the advantage right now, being the only one with ODM gear. Still, was he prepared to turn on his comrades and possibly the entire Scout Regiment?

He turned briefly at the sound of shackles rustling together and saw Kagome once more. And even though she was weak and scared for now, he could still see that spark inside of her. Rambunctious. Wild. And yet, so loyal and compassionate. And he knew he would be prepared to turn on anyone who dared to vilify that. She encompassed everything the world should be. And he’d be damned if he didn’t protect that.

“We can handle her, and we can do it without letting our personal feelings get in the way.” Miche barked back, “You need to leave.”

That was it. Levi pulled out one of his blades, turned, and broke the chains that held the woman in one swing. Immediately, her knees gave out and she stumbled forward before a strong arm caught her and pulled her in close. Soon, Levi had wrapped around her waist and held her to his chest, taking the majority of her weight. With his free hand, he pointed the blade at the elites blocking the exit.

“Get out of my way. I’m going to handle this.” He asserted, “Why don’t you try actually solving this shitty case instead of wasting time torturing our own people.”

Looking down, the captain noticed how she leaned into him, palms pressed against his chest as if she wanted to grip the fabric of his shirt, but couldn’t with her broken fingers. Her eyes were closed now, absolutely terrified of what the outcome may be from all of this. After all she had gone through in the Scouts, watching friends die and battling Titans, she had never once seemed to be so hopeless. He had found it annoying, initially, how optimistic and playful she managed to remain despite being a part of the most horrifying branch of the military. And he remembered wondering what it would take for her to lose all of that. Though, this situation hadn’t once entered his mind before now.

“Can you walk with me, Kagome?” He whispered to her. 

Her eyes snapped open and, with her lips sucked in between her teeth, she nodded.

“Let’s go, then.” He led her out of the cell, keeping his blade pointed at Hange and Miche. And, for good measure, shut the cell door and locked it. He knew they had the keys, but it would take them a few to unlock it. And that was all he needed to bring the woman beside him to safety.

Up and out towards the barracks they went, but it was towards his room, not hers, that he led her. He’d give Erwin an earful, or perhaps more than that sometime later on. For now, though, he would have her stay with him where he could make sure no one else got their grubby hands on her. She was too weak to fight back with all of these injuries.

“You can rest in my bed.” The captain asserted as he opened his room door. It wasn’t as if he ever slept in it anyways. 

“Thank you for believing in me.” She murmured as he helped lie her down, analyzing his features to see if he was even slightly disgusted with her grimy exterior dirtying his clean sheets. He didn’t though. He just remained blank in his expression, with just a small tinge of compassion in his silvery gaze.

He wouldn’t accept that gratitude, though, as if he was doing something worthwhile by not torturing her. He knew it in his bones that she was innocent; it was something he could feel, something he could see in her. He would trust her with his own life. And that care she had for the world deserved to be acknowledged. Because it was so goddamn precious.

Precious.

She was precious. 

Gods, he wasn’t sure when he started seeing her like that. Perhaps it was sometime during one of her witty attempts at making him laugh, or maybe it was when he saw her risk her life for even the most unknown soldiers, having a strength that was only matched by a few. Maybe it was when he saw the way she looked right at him, seeing not that unsociable, crude, disciplinarian. Instead, she saw a man. And made no assumptions, but rather let him decide who the rest of him was. 

“Fuck…” He growled to himself, too quiet for her to hear. Tch. To think I’d end up here with her. Annoying little brat.

Of course, even in his mind, he couldn’t conjure up any venom to speak on her name with. There was nothing but his instincts to watch over her until she was strong enough to protect herself, again. Which she would be, he had no doubt. And he respected that about her.

So, he watched as her eyes shut, body relaxing into his bed. Beautiful. Strong. And fucking precious.

[dcmhnallach]

demiboy — ever hear people say APOLLO AMORETTO looks a lot like NICK ROBINSON? I think THEY/HE is about 22, so it doesn’t really work. The GRAPHIC DESIGN major is a JUNIOR that is from LIVINGSTONE, VT. They can be ADROIT, but they can also be INDELICATE. I think APOLLO might be A TIER 2 SHEPHERD. They are living in KIERAN. ( snot goblin. 20. EST. she/they. )

ok so i lied and this is after midnight. sue me. his background is a lil inspired by logan from veronica mars so like, sue me 2x. dnjkfmgh but !! give this a LIKE so i can come MESSAGE U FOR PLOTS !!!

TRIGGER WARNING - DEATH, MURDER, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, GRIEF

a e s t h e t i c s

fingers across keyboards and piano keys, m&m’s scattered, vintage gaming consoles and tangled wires, worn vans and broken skateboards, banging of drums and splintering drumsticks, deep rhythms beating with your heart, the hum of a hefty computer and the buzz of a monitor, green text against black screens, unruly hair unkempt, flannels filling closets, bloody baseball bats, posters lining up and down walls, loud punk music shaking the walls, glares and whispers, the suffocation that comes with loneliness, pills rattling in their bottles, unmade beds.

general info !!

full name: apollo casimir amoretto

nickname(s): cas, polly, lover boy, 2000 (b/c of his screen names lmaoo)

b.o.d. - january 31st, aquarius boi

label(s): the escapist, the hellion, the insurgent, the netizen, etc. etc.

height: hitting 6′0″

hometown: livingstone, vt !

sexuality: bi bi bi bi bisexual

stats

pinterest

biography !!

cristian amoretto and camilla silvestri had a romance that could be described turbulent at best, and downright explosive at worst

cristian, a native italian actor whose career began before he could walk, and camilla, the daughter of two italian immigrants with big dreams in a small town, met on the set of a coffee shop. their love story began quickly, dating within only a few months of knowing each other and engaged before the year was up

camilla walked down the aisle 6 months pregnant with lil’ baby apollo, who was then born in livingstone, vermont, aka the town that camilla’s family had settled in

was raised primarily by his mother and grandparents! his father was often off shooting movies, leaving camilla to take on the role of stay-at-home mom despite her own dreams of making it big as an actress

apollo grew up as a huge momma’s boy – i mean, god, he just really loved this mother, y’know? his relationship with his father was much rockier because of his … lack of being around.

when his grandparents died around the age of eight, that’s when things got…worse. it felt as if camilla’s parents were the only barrier between camilla and cristian’s budding wrath.

it became more apparent that cristian was not meant for the family life, his anger quick and his fists quicker, stinging words and venomous glares. a control freak who couldn’t handle camilla being independent.

this wasn’t apparent to the neighbors, or much of the town in general, because the amorettos were such a prominent family up in their beach-side mini mansion – it was hard to imagine that their life was anything but exquisite and dreamlike.

this was, of course, up until camilla filed for divorce and a restraining order in the same day, face bruised and nearly unrecognizable. she, obviously, got custody of apollo.

at this point in time, apollo was fourteen and…pretty stoked for them to get away from his father. they holed up southside and life continued as normal. for the time being. gossip swarmed apollo at school surrounding the circumstance which was annoying, to say the least. it led to him becoming withdrawn from the other students, not getting the whole … gossip appeal.

in hindsight, they should’ve moved out of livingstone. death threats in the form of letters and the eerie feeling of eyes constantly being on them came to a halt on apollo’s graduation day: the day that his father also, coincidentally, murdered his mother.

for making me miss out on years of my son’s life, was cristian’s excuse as he was escorted from the bloody crime scene at their apartment and into the police car.

cristian was convicted and sent to prison almost a whole year after it occurred. apollo still has dreams about testifying in court against his father as a witness.

and then apollo became known not as the son of two celebrities, but the son of a murderer. total bummer !

could not tell you why he stayed in livingstone, but he did. almost dropped out of college a good few times ( he isn’t passionate about graphic design, it’s more of him wasting time than anything else ) and spends most of his time raiding on WoW or competitively playing overwatch :/

speaking of college ! apollo was kieran’s roommate and like ... a close friend of his. the death hit him pretty hard b/c of his past.

lives in kieran but lately has been switching between his dorm and his childhood home - it’s technically his dad’s but he hasn’t been to his mom’s apartment in years. the mansion has become run-down and pretty grody, a sore sight that pisses off the neighbors.

he does identify as demiboy but he cares abt his identity like ... so little ... 

personality !!

his main focuses are computers / video games, drums / his band, and like … skating … vaping … gamer things, y’know.

from a young age he’d always been very fascinated by video games, and being the Rich Boi ™ that he was, ended up with a whole lot of them to play, on a whole bunch of consoles.

but like … he’s a PC guy :/ he may have a super rare nintendo 64 or two but nothing can beat his dual-monitor set up with his hand-built computer !

he also got real into hacking, y’know, just small things like watching security cameras in different cities and occasionally changing his grades b/c like … who wouldn’t ? also … cheated in dark souls. fucking loser.

his favorite games to play are multiplayer games so !!

he joined a band in high school because he was angsty and young, and like, turned out to be really good on drums ?? they had like … some real big jimmy eat world / green day / say anything / old school fall out boy vibes. just a whole bunch of ‘fuck the government, fuck the authority, anarchy, rebellion, revolt revolt revolt’ angry rock music that got a buuunch of noise complaints during practice.

his role in the band is essentially the ~nerdy~ one, because he’s a gamer, but like he was also Edgy and Angry and wore all black like Constantly ( he still does who are we kidding )

probably paints his nails black and has a nose ring b/c gamers can be edgy too !!

huuuuuge junk food junkie. like … he will consume Everything and Anything unhealthy. has a huge sweet tooth, he can’t remember the last time he’s drank straight up water.

he’s pretty much a loner, minus his bandmates -- having a reputation like his really ... puts off others. wasn’t the friendliest person in high school either, which doesn’t help. kieran and him were kindred souls.

to be honest, he’s really selfish. thinks about himself first and foremost, considers it to be a method of surviving in a fuck-shit town with fuck-shit people. wouldn’t hesitate to toss people to the side if it were to ever come down to it. he’s not a faithful pal.

he’s ruthless, impulsive, does whatever he pleases because he assumes that everybody’s already got their opinion of him due to his father. hard to stop him when he’s on a rampage.

seething with rage on the inside. :/

uuhhh so he’s got this fucking…pomsky, right? her name is tulip. she was camilla’s before she passed away and like, what was apollo gonna do, huh ? put the dog in a shelter ? hell fucking nah. that’s his dog now. give that dog an emotional support animal certification and boom.

this isn’t like a Personality Trait but idk where to put it so ! apollo’s on antidepressants ( and other medications, but y’know. that’s just how it is ) b/c like … y’know … the whole dad-murdering-mom thing sort of fucked him up a lot ! they make him feel pretty blah and diminished his sex drive so like … hook ups aren’t really an option for him 99% of the time.

besides that he smokes a lot of weed b/c self medication.

he’s … sort of an asshole. like … he can be rude and he doesn’t have much of a filter and i don’t know if there’s any softness left to him ! he just really misses his mom and has a lot of wishes involving changing the past and he reacts badly to things because he’s so defensive and on edge constantly.

no but he’s just like. .. sad gamer boi … a man and his dog … who also carries like five knives on him.

like he’s not socially awkward or necessarily Bad with people .. he’s just bad with people :/ doesn’t try hard enough ! is a little too apathetic ! chaotic to true neutral

wanted connections !!

bandmates !! i’d envision that there’s four or five members including him. two electric guitar, one bass, one drums / keyboard ( that me -_- ) , anybody singing ... maybe a triangle player ! or a cowbell ! i dunno ! endless possibilities.

fans of the band mayb ?? try to seduce him so they can party w/ them after a show n apollo’s just like :/ nah ( or yah ! )

people he clashes with hardcore !! people who are one n the same.

uuhh ... big slut for enemies ! ppl he refuses to get along with or they’ve been on bad terms previously for whatever reason. :-)

alternately, people he’s trying really hard to get along with but it’s not working b/c he’s a shithead.

maybe an actual good, close friend or two !! y’know. so he’s not completely alone. 

people he’s fucked over previously by ditching them / being unreliable / messy / etc.

besides close friends, someone who’s soft towards him or vice versa. because as much as i love angst, i love the uwu too.

ex-flings, ex-fwbs, ex-hookups, etc. etc. ex-gfs/bfs. especially from high school.

people he’s known all his life ! childhood friends, childhood enemies, old rivals, etc.

people who like ... stayed away from him / distanced themselves after his dad’s arrest. :/

okay but like ... imagine, okay , some sort of high school romance where he used to sneak into their room / sneak them out, n then they’d like. go wild out. y’know like, parents Hate him.

ppl who end up on one of his benders / night time adventures / whatever chaotic shit w/ him.

a hook-up gone bad could b fun !

gaming pals. gaming enemies.

skater buds ! vaping buds ! stoner buds ! apollo owns like three juuls.

someone he’s good friends with ( maybe ?? potentially developing Feelings at the same time ) but apollo fucks up their friendship / possible Something because that’s just what he Does.

somebody who thought tht like ... his childhood home was just Abandoned and Empty so they started breaking in to like. get high or fuck or whatever and apollo just walks in one day like ... what are u doing.

someone who caught him dealing juul pods to middle schoolers and was like ... what are u doing. idiot.

idiot reckless buddy pals !! wreck shit together !! burn couches !! chaos !

literally i’ll take anything sdjnfkmgh

[sybcritics-blog]

( lee jooheon, cismale, he/him, 24. ) — CHOI JUNGWOO, better known to the authorities as VULCAN, has been working for the kumiho for around SIX YEARS as a JANITOR. rumor has it, they can be DARING & KALEIDOSCOPIC but also IRASCIBLE & SYBARITIC which is why blood-stained hands, all black wardrobes, crooked smirks, and weaponry makes me think of them.

hey  demons,  it  me,  ya  girl,  gem  ...  back  at  it  again,  only  this  time  my  character  is  worst  than  the  first  one.  which  is  saying  something  because  oof  minwoo  was  an  absolute  disaster  !  so  if  that  gives  you  any  idea  as  to  how  this  shithead  is  gonna  be,  that  should  be  a  clue  !  

again,  his  whole  backstory  isn't  completely  figured  out  but  i  have  what  i've  already  figured  out  below  the  cut,  as  well  as  his  basic  information,  personality  &  some  wanted  plots  i  have  for  him  ! 

if  you  want  to  plot  with  this  lil  pyro,  smash  that  like  button  &  i'll  come  to  you  !  or  of  course,  if  you  like  d*scord  better  than  tumblr  feel  free  to  add  me  on  there  (  @𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕂𝕃𝔼𝕍𝕠𝕊𝕊!#9330 )  &  we  can  plot  from  there  !

                                         BASIC INFORMATION.

full  name:  choi  jungwoo. nickname(s):  jun,  woo. age:  twenty-four. date  of  birth:  october  31st. birthplace:  daegu,  south  korea. current  location:  seoul,  south  korea. ethnicity:  korean. nationality:  korean. gender:  cismale. pronouns:  he  /  him  /  his. orientation:  pansexual. crew  position:  janitor. occupation:  instagram  model  /  youtuber.  (  eboy  basically  ig  ) language(s)  spoken: korean,  english,   chinese,  japanese,  spanish,  greek,  thai  &  french.

                                    PHYSICAL  APPEARANCE.

face  claim:  lee  jooheon  (  joohoney  )  of  monsta  x. hair  color:  changes  frequently,  currently  dark  brown. eye  color:  brown. height:  6  '  1  ". weight:  175. build:  athletic. tattoos:  far  too  many  to  count. piercings:  multiple  in  his  ears,  a  tongue  piercing,  nipple  piercings,  a  scar  on  his  right  brow  from  an  old  brow  piercing.

                                                       HEALTH.

physical  ailments:  alcohol  abuse,  drug  abuse  & lactose  intolerance. neurological  conditions:  back  pain  &  occasional  migraines. allergies:  pollen,  mold,  dairy,  shellfish. sleeping  habits: 3-4  hours  a  night,  restless. eating  habits:  mostly  junk  food,  fast  food  &  take-out  but  he  does  enjoy  going  to  fancy  places  every  once  in  a  while  as  well  as  cooking  meals  at  home. exercise  habits:  jogs  every  morning,  is  in  a  boxing  group  that  meets  every  week. body  temperature: hot  natured. addictions:  alcohol,  tobacco,  drugs  &  sex. drug  use: frequent. alcohol  use: frequent.

                                          PERSONALITY. ( PT 1. )

label:  the  cataclysmic. positive  traits:  daring  &  kaleidoscopic. negative  traits:  irascible  &  sybaritic. fears:  large  bodies  of  water. hobbies:  boxing,  card  games,  video  games,  reading,  cooking,  comic  books,  jogging. habits: tbd. quirks:  tbd.

                                                 FAVORITES.

season:  fall. color(s):  black,  red,  green. music:  isn’t  super  picky,  doesn't  care  for  country. movies:  mostly  action,  suspense,  horror  &  comedy. sport(s):  watches  baseball  &  hockey. beverage(s):  anything  but  sparkling  water. food:  fast  food. animal:  dogs.

                                                     FAMILY.

father: tba. mother: tba. sibling(s):  younger sibling, nineteen. children:  n/a. pet(s):  german  sheppard  puppy. family’s  financial  status:  upper  class.

                                                     EXTRAS.

zodiac sign:  scorpio. mbti:  entp-a.  (  the  debater  ) enneagram:  type  eight. (  the  challenger  ) temperament:  choleric. hogwarts  house:  slytherin. moral  alignment:  chaotic neutral. primary  vice:  lust. primary  virtue:  pride. element: fire.

                                                BIOGRAPHY.

born  in  daegu  sk  to  a  lawyer  and  a  police  officer,  jun's  life  was  always  pretty strict.

they  always  made  sure  he  was  living  like  they  wanted  him  to,  cracking  down  and  making  sure  he  was  behaving  &  that  his  grades  were  at  the  top  of  his  class.

little  did  they  know  that  their  son  found  ways  around  having  to  obey  everything  they  said,  sneaking  out  of  his  bedroom  window  to  roam  the  streets  of  daegu  in  the  middle  of  the  night  &  things  like  that.

that's  also  where  he  first  found  his  interest  in  fire,  seeing  people  mess  with  small  bonfires  /  fireworks  all  the  time  caused  him  to  grow  curious.

so  one  night  on  one  of  his  adventures,  he  approached  a  group  of  kids  that  were  probably  only  a  few  years  older  than  him  and  they  allowed  him  into  their  group  &  allowed  him  to  start  messing  with  the  fireworks  himself.

it  was  from  that  moment  on  that  he  started  to  rebel  a  little  bit  more  with  each  day  that  passed,  eventually  sneaking  out  &  staying  gone  the  entire  night  only  to  sneak  back  up  through  his  window,  get  2  hrs  of  sleep  and  then  head  to  school.

parents  never  figured  out  about  it  though,  he  was  good  at  lying  to  them  &  anyone  with  any  sort  of  'authority'  so  he  was  able  to  continue  pleasing  them  &  pretending  to  be  this  pefect  son  all  while  living  the  life  he  actually  wanted  to  live.

the  only  thing  that  came  as  a  shock  to  his  parents  was  him  moving  out  at  the  age  of  sixteen,  getting  his  own  apartment  and  whatnot  so  he'd  stop  having  to  hide  how  he  wanted  to  live  or  have  to  sneak  out  of  his  own  home.

however,  to  them,  they  just  thought  he  wanted  to  become  more  of  an  adult  &  so  they  never  really  questioned  it  or  checked  up  on  him  without  warning.

he  had  just  turned  eighteen  when  he  was  approached  by  the  mastermind  after  getting  into  a  fight  at  a bustling  club,  leaving  the  other  person  laid  out  on  the  ground  while  jun  barely  had  any  injuries  whatsoever.  

the  mastermind  offered  a  job,  keep  people  quiet  or  clean  up  after  the  ones  who  can't  and  you'll  get  paid  shit  tons  of  money...  who  was  jun  to  turn  that  offer  down?

a  few  months  after  that  is  when  his  instagram  persona  started  forming,  posting  his  outfits  on  the  app  started  to  cause  people  to  follow  him  &  ask  for  more...  n  before  he  knew  it,  he  was  getting  agents  messaging  him  offering  to  be  HIS  agent  &  allow  him  to  make  even  more  money  just  by  posting  the  simplest  of  things  on  a  daily  basis.

again,  who  was  he  to  really  turn  down  the  offer?  especially  considering  the  fact  he'd  already  grown  a  taste  for  all  things  expensive.

&  thus,  jun's  double  life  began  once  more,  though  this  time,  both  sides  of  his  life  were  things  he  truly  enjoyed.

                                       PERSONALITY. ( PT 2. )

the  Worst...

short-tempered  as  heck,  will  snap  on  people  for  breathing  in  his  direction  wrong  if  he's  in  one  of  those  moods...

loves  violence... it's  a  problem.  will be  that  asshole  who  starts  bar  fights  just  so  he  can  fight  someone  ksfjghsdf

.... if  you  haven't  figured  it  out,  the  boy  loves  to  play  with  fire.  constantly  burns  stuff,  always  tries  to  take  things  of  other  peoples  to  burn  them.  also  likes  to  ... possibly  set  empty  buildings  on  fire  only  to  watch  them  burn  down.  yike.

can  be  extremely  goofy  &  joking  one  moment  and  then  the  biggest  grumpy  asshole  the  next.  all  really  depends  on  his  mood  at  the  time.

when  he's  in  a  good  mood  though,  he  loves  to  mess  with  people  &  joke  around  or  just  go  explore  the  area.  day  trips  are  his  favorite  thing  in  the  world  even  though  he  won't  admit  to  it.

however,  when  he  isn't.... don't  mess  with  him  bc  he  will probably  try  and  snap  ur  head  off  or  yell  at  you  for  the  dumbest  shit.  probably  figures  out  he's  being  a  dick  a  little  too  late  but  will  still  own  up  to  it  and  apologize  eventually.

a  bit  of  a  wild  card,  honestly.  you  never  know  what  mood  he's  going  to  be  in  or  what's  going  on  in  his  head  at  any  given  moment.

a  heaux,  shock  shock...  but  like  actually  really  bad  abt  it,  constantly  has  some  new  hook  up  or  something  like  that.

this  is  a  work  in  progress  as  well  so  that's  all i've  got  atm

                                                   PLOT IDEAS.

someone  from  his  past  who  knows  that  his  father  is  a  police  officer  &  constantly  gets  on  his  ass  for  all  the  stupid  shit  he  does  bc  they  don't  want  him  getting  caught  let  alone  his  own  father  finding  out.

his  go  to  person  for  all  things  stupid  as  fuck.  getting  high  on  the  roof?  check.  getting  drunk  &  dancing  on  the  bar?  check.  walking  around  seoul  at  4  in  the  morning?  check.

the  fire  &  ice  combination  we  all  want  for  our  muses,  they  fight,  bicker,  try  to  throw  hands  w  each  other  even  but  at  the  end  of  the  day,  they  actually  care  about  one  another.

someone  who's  able  to  see  the  softer  side  of  jun,  either  by  just  being  around  for  his  'down'  days,  or  finding  out  that  a  sleepy  /  just  woke  up  jun  has  a  tendency  to  be  soft  and  a  tiny  bit  needy.

the  jokester  friend  who's  always  pranking  jun  &  jun  tries  to  one  up  them  &  get  his  revenge.

the  LOATHING  plot...  idk  what  it  would  be  for  but  they  just  literally  can't  stand  each  other  &  they  make  sure  it's  known  to  the  world.

someone  who  puts  up  with  his  instagram  persona  and  goes  on  shopping  trips  &  appears  in  the  dumb  videos  he  uploads  to  both  instagram  &  youtube.

speaking of,,,,,  the  'dating'  rumor.  basically  they're  really  close  friends  &  are  seen  by  the  media  together  a  lot  so  people  just  assume  they're  a  thing  &  start  getting  hashtags  about  them  trending  as  well  as  all  the  other  fun  stuff  that  goes  along  with  that.

will  add  more  as  they  come  to  mind  !

[larriefails]

This new BPH2 post, she really can’t let go of 1D or the past, can she?

The amount of drivel...

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Harry was portrayed as a lothario BEFORE July 2011? By whom? Doing what? He didn’t date anyone until C*roline (sorry, I make one exception for censoring names and that’s for child groomers) in like, November 2011, there were jokes about him liking Madison, the girl from WMYB but that wouldn’t be until August anyway. Articles about various 1D members dating or hooking up with fans were run of the mill, but that was for all of them. Cher Lloyd got linked to literally every member except Louis, and that’s because he had a girlfriend. Harry was seen as flirty and fans joked around about his unfortunate pussygate moment, but clearly, he brought that on himself, and it was after X Factor anyway

The only possible “Harry is a lothario” push she could be talking about is that jokey video where Harry is seen as having overlapping dates with all the girls at boot camp, but it’s obviously tongue in cheek, it finishes with Harry going on a date with Wagner, a 50 something year old Portuguese (?) man. And this was BEFORE the band was put together. Why would Liam, or anyone, have to be seen as a lothario anyway? Confused

Louis and Hannah’s relationship wasn’t “spotlighted” they were just dating... so she was there... and they talked about it on the show I think once, maybe twice. None of the other boys had significant others at the beginning. When Zayn started dating one of the girls from Belle Amie (a girl group that was competing there as well), it was actually spotlighted, same when he dated Rebecca Ferguson

She says “switching 1Direction to One Direction” to seem knowledgeable, it’s hilarious. One Direction’s twitter account was created on October 29th 2010 and it was already stylized “OneDirection,” this is just a “the more you know” bullet point she learned that she decided to throw in there to get more credibility. Anyone that’s been a fan for long already knew this, it was stated as a fact in one of their books, but don’t ask me which one now cuz it’s been 7 years. Anyways, what an important marketing decision, Kati, it surely affected a lot of the outcome of the band that would be known as “1D” by 90% of its fanbase anyway

“But there was no larger strategy until July 2011″

NO SHIT SHERLOCK. U wanna know why? Because they didn’t have music out until August... you really are some fresh brand of stupid, huh. Who would waste money in marketing campaigns months and months before having any music to sell? All of them were heavily involved in social media anyway, and with strategic performances here and there, some interviews, a very well received book, signing days, and several other nuggets, they managed to build a stronger fanbase and a lot of anticipation by the time they released WMYB. There was definitely marketing, but, no, of course there wasn’t an overarching marketing campaign for a band with no music for six months.. Just like there isn’t, idk, a hot air balloon business for cheetahs..

And that’s how she starts.. everything after that is drivel and more and more drivel. Very little of it makes any sort of sense or is backed up by any facts other than her wanting things to be that way

Such as this entire paragraph which has me in fucking stitches

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Listen, I’m sure more older people became fans as the band became more popular, and I’m sure there are some men sprinkled in between, but PROFOUND DEMOGRAPHIC SHIFT? Except Harry and Zayn, who have cultivated an older skewing demographic, the core fan base is STILL 13-18 year old girls. And even Harry and Zayn have large percentages of their fan base in that age group still. She really thinks the tumblr side of fandom is in any way indicative of the larger fandom, it’s fascinating to read someone that’s supposed to be old and wise, who’s a mother and a wife, be so blatantly wrong and so delusional. Not even in the tumblr side of fandom now are the fans mostly older with established careers. That’s just the big Larries, and big Larries are what? 1 in 2,000 One Direction blogs? (and I doubt at least 50% of their “well established careers” are real, but I’m not into doxxing people so I’ll take their word for it)

I almost lost my mind when she called tumblr tinhat wank “objective debate and evidence-based discussion.” OBJECTIVE! O B J E C T I V E? bulletprooflarry, the person that left tumblr for a month when Harry announced his solo career because she had been saying for ages he’d never go solo and couldn’t handle being so OBJECTIVELY wrong, is talking about OBJECTIVE DISCUSSION???? Kati you wouldn’t know what actual objective discussion is if it slapped you repeatedly with something smelly while yelling “I am objective discussion” as a plane writes in the sky “objective discussion is slapping you in the face” and some sirens wailed in the distance

Not even gonna go there with “evidence-based” .. I’m sure ur tag “all the reasons ever needed” filled with cropped and edited gifs of 17 yo Harry and 19 yo Louis looking at each other for 0.03 seconds in slow mo would hold in court very well

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H I L A R I O U S. Never seen before! Novel!!!! Only happening because of “this new smarter fandom with professional experience”! No other tinhat fandom doubts the protagonists of their conspiracy theory handle their social media! That’s just the new smarter fandom filled with professional men and women in 1D. Crisscolfer, Kaylor, Supernatural, Camren, you name it. Any CT mined fandom where social media is used, believes the exact same bullshit, Kati. U R NOT SPECIAL. You’re not smarter. The Larrie fandom didn’t “wise up” it tinhatted up. If you left your conspiracy bubble for three seconds and waltzed into literally any other corner of the entertainment world, you’d see that

After this, she drivels on and on about “pics or it didn’t happen” and shit like that. None of it is special to this fandom, Kati. None of it. What you’re describing is tinhatting. It has nothing to do with “this new smarter fandom.” Unless of course you believe in every other celeb conspiracy theory out there and how all the CT fandoms have also, coincidentally, become “smarter”

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This is equal parts self centered, arrogant, delusional, and wrong. 1D’s team did a ton of things to get new fans and it succeeded largely at it. 1D was one of the largest bands in terms of fanbase in the world. It got away with selling millions upon millions of records and selling out stadiums without getting huge songs. To this day a vast majority of the general public only knows 2 or 3 One Direction songs (WMYB, SOML, some will know Drag Me Down). I think it was too big for the teams it had, for sure, but that’s just logic speaking for itself. What other clients the caliber of 1D did Simon Jones, Modest, or Syco have? The only big fish in the game was Columbia. And at times it definitely showed in a lot of things. But to say that they were playing catch up for five years and had no plan whatsoever, is simply disingenuous. And so self aggrandizing.. Recognizing that they had their failures? Cool. Sitting oatur computer at home and pretending that u kknow better how to handle it? Demented

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You know when you read something that’s so wrong that you don’t even know where to start? Yeah..

You were lied about the band getting back together. One by one they have admitted to it, even if not in so many words. First Zayn said he didn’t even like being in 1D ever. Then Harry refused to ever confirm the band would get back together. You had Niall, Liam, and Louis preaching 18 months/2 years, but that soon changed. Niall got tired of being asked a few months into his promo in 2017, said “idk, man, idk! someday!” and asked not to be asked again. Liam lasted a little longer, but he literally said “ask the others, idk, man, idk!” a few months back. The only one standing is Louis, and I firmly believe it’s simply because he hasn’t done as much promo as Niall and Liam, who must’ve reached the point of exhaustion. His defeated “idk, man, idk” is happenning soon. I can feel it in my bones

There’s no leadership in 1DHQ because there is no 1DHQ because there is no 1D. The band is broken up. Gone. Donezo. There’s no one to steer one topic to the next

It’s not the “lack of leadership” which lead the fans to create “microfandoms.” It’s the fact that every member has gone solo..... that created microfandoms. You’re over 40, Kati, please, for the love of God, stop hanging onto a boyband that’s been dead for four years. This is so pathetic to read. Fans less than half your age cried about their lost band for a few days and got over it. You’re still throwing hissy fits on tumblr and talking about it as if it wasn’t deceased

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Just... no

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Louis DOES NOT have the most hardcore fans inside of 1D. He has the most LARRIES. His fanbase is almost entirely conformed by conspiracy theorists, that’s why it seems so hardcore to you. This is not a positive. As a fan of Louis, I can assure you it is not. This doesn’t translate well into literally anything. Y’all are a nuisance and ruin everything. You’re not fans of Louis, you don’t even LIKE HIM. You despise everything about him and everything he is. Everything he does. All the things that have shaped him. You call everything he says a lie and mock his desperate attempts for you to LISTEN TO HIM. That’s the exact opposite of a hardcore fanbase, you shithead. That’s as fickle as it gets, it can (and does) get lost any second. The smallest of his moves can set y’all off and wipe thousands of you from his ranks. Because none of you like even a little of who he really is. Y’all are gonna leave him sooner or later. It’s just a matter of when, not if. Hardcore my fucking ass

What has Harry done to make older white men think he’s cool? Paint his nails? Wear glitter and flowery suits? Sing about men? Proclaim at every chance he gets that he LOVES his mostly female/young audience? That he thinks they’re amazing and how much he appreciates them? What is it that appeals older white men? All the rainbows in everything he does? The only thing “older white men” might like about Harry is his music and its inspiration, that’s where it starts and where it ends, but everything he’s done and said since he’s gone solo is prone to prejudice them against him. He hasn’t lifted a finger to appeal to them. His team didn’t even push his songs on Adult/Contemporary radios (Niall’s did, but I don’t see you talking about that). Yeah, Hall Of Fame will expose him to that audience as well, but you know who else did Hall Of Fame? Miley Cyrus. Was she trying to appeal to older white men? Was that Jannelle Monae’s goal while inducing Janet Jackson? He’s co chairing the MET Gala in a couple of weeks. How’s that for a white older male audience? Being a Gucci model under Alessandro Michele must’ve helped a lot, I’m sure 🙄

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“If One Direction was going to come back” NO. Next question

[ugh-really-why]

Endgame review that is really more of a Rant then anything else because Fuck you Marvel.

Disclaimer: I hate pretty much everything about this movie and am still pissed enough that there is going to be a lot of cussing. Also, this is going to contain spoilers. 

Let’s start with the character that I had the most hope for walking into this movie. Tony fucking Stank. I read the spoilers so I knew that he was going to get a heroic death. I also knew that he hesitated to save the world because he got his happy ending. 

I didn’t realize how much I would hate him for every word that came out of his mouth. Tony Stank really doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He gets his happily ever after so fuck everyone else. Oh and he’s guilty over losing Peter so he’s going to blame everyone else even though he’s the one that split up the Avengers by locking up half of them in an underwater prison. He’s the one that had a way to contact Steve, knew about the attack because of Bruce, but was too petty to make the damn phone call. But nope it’s all Steve’s fault that he decided to go to Titan and fight Thanos there instead of regrouping with everyone else. He fucked up, but Tony can’t admit that so it’s on everyone else. Piece of shit. 

then Scott comes back five years later with an idea, but nope Tony can’t help save everyone because he’s got his precious little girl. Fuck everyone else who lost their families. At least the picture of Peter and him exists because otherwise, he wouldn’t have done shit. Oh and he insists that they keep the five years since the snap intact meaning that he’s robbing half the universe of five years of life because why the fuck not? Alright, I get him not wanting to lose his baby girl but I also don’t care because fuck him, fuck him so badly for not giving a shit about any of the other people in the universe. He’s such shit. Like honestly the only decent thing he does is die, oh and his conversation with Howard was interesting because it proves that Howard never physically abused Tony. Sorry stans, guess you can’t use that as an excuse anymore. 

Now the character that I love the most who was screwed... Steve. God, he’s fucking pathetic in this movie. Like where the fuck was his obsession with Peggy in any other movie that he was in? Where the fuck was it because this movie implied that it had been something that he had been holding onto for the fourteen (okay thirteen years) that he had been in the future, even though on screen we saw him moving on... No, he’s been carrying that stupid ass compass around with him since he woke up from the ice, just didn’t have a reason to pull it out until Endgame. Such fucking bullshit. He’s so damn pathetic when it comes to her in this movie. Not that she’s much better... Still having a torch for him in 1970 after he had been dead for 30 years. Super fucking pathetic. Like omg, they knew each other for a max of two years, kissed once, and had like five total conversations. But nope the love of his life, poor Sharon she was completely screwed. (I am so going to write out a fic where Steve goes back to the love of his life and finds out that she’s a pale comparison to the actual love of his life). Honestly, if you wanted a Steve that was hung up on Peggy still, having him move on was stupid, and this should have been set up in the previous movies instead of feeling completely out of the blue. Oh and as everyone else already has said, his ending completely ruins a lot of the great lines from the previous cap movies, such as his conversation about a situation going south, or the price of freedom. And it completely invalidates his relationship with Bucky, which was already kind of ruined in canon by Civil War. They owed the characters so much more. Oh, and they had to fuck over Steve’s other best friend. Like honestly, fuck you for what you did to Sam and Steve’s relationship. Just fuck you, Russos. I did like Sam getting the shield (course the question becomes how? because it was destroyed in the battle with Thanos, but who cares about that?) Oh and what happened to Mjolnir? because Steve was traveling with it to return the stones. Like the whole can’t move past the forties shtick is so boring and so old. 

Course for Steve to still be stuck on Peggy they had to ruin her. I can’t get over the disgust I feel for a woman that married another man, had children with him, to still be into a crush she had at 19... when she’s in her 50′s. it’s all kinds of gross. And sure I adore stories about sweethearts finding each other after a long time, but not when they are in committed relationships with other people. We all knew Agent Carter wasn’t worth anything to the MCU but this proves it. 

Bruce was just fucking annoying. Granted, I am not super fond of Banner in general, but Professor Hulk was cringe and annoying and no thanks. I swear I wanted someone to punch him every time he opened his mouth. The only time he was not incredibly annoying was when he talked about Natasha, course they played up the romantic angle for the two of them without ever addressing the issue of him ditching her for years. Like he still held a torch even though everything about the relationship was fail. 

Thor was just sad. He’s an alcoholic that has lost all confidence in himself, gained a ton of weight, something that is mocked throughout the movie and is afraid to fight. Until he talks with Frigga (not gonna lie that was a cool scene) but seriously the way they made Thor pathetic was just sad. Oh and so much mocking of his PTSD by pretty much everyone. I guess not being a dick about PTSD only applies to Tony. 

Natasha, I actually liked the majority of her plotline. Though that being said killing her off was incredibly stupid if the Black Widow movie is a real thing. I really liked her relationship with Clint, the way that she was helping coordinate the recovery, and the way she was willing to risk everything for a chance to fix things. She had a lot of personality, and I do remember why I adore the character again. I’m also glad that they didn’t put major focus on Steve/Nat. Oh no to make Steve’s storyline work he couldn’t be closely tied with anyone so no real friendships in the present for Steve. Nope, just taking advice from Stank to live life and thinking the only way to do that was to go back to Peggy...

Clint was the only one whose storyline I didn’t massively hate. I liked the way they showed his relationship with Natasha and how both of them care so much about each other. We really got to see them being family in this movie so that wasn’t terrible. And it was powerful to see him lose his family (it wasn’t like the other dusting, they were there and then gone the next second... a much better way to show everyone being gone imo then that dumbass over the top speech by Peter in Infinity War.) And his scenes after returning with the soul stone, and the fight against Thanos were kickass. Also seeing Lila Barton have her daddy’s talent for shooting arrows was terrific. Clint is a great father, and I loved the hints of it and his love for his family in this film. He just wasn’t enough to redeem the bullshit for me. 

Wanda...barely in the film but kickass during the fight. It was great to watch her go head-to-head with Thanos, and having the call back to Infinity War with Okoye when the girls were trying to get the iron infinity stone glove away was great. I’m down for an all-women team-up movie a billion times more now then I was before this movie and I already knew that I still wanted that. Course now I would try to figure out how to pirate it because FUCK MARVEL. 

Sam, idk. There were things I liked. Him becoming Captain America (if you are going to screw Steve like this, I’d rather Sam then Bucky any day of the week). His on your left and reaching out to steve over comms when he so desperately needed that little push to keep fighting. I despise the implication that he doesn’t know Steve because of his freak out about the past, and the fact that Steve was keeping secrets from him even though other movies have shown that to BULLSHIT. 

Bucky, Steve fucked him over because he was too obsessed with Peggy to give a shit about his BFF being tortured by Hydra. It’s fucking gross and totally goes against who Steve is in the rest of the series. I did like the hug, seeing him shooting Thanos's army and the easiness between him and Sam. Other than that eh. 

Valkyrie was awesome in the movie. I don’t like her much because of the slaver thing, but she was really great for her five minutes, two of being a leader and three of fighting (and I’m only sort of joking)

Nebula- I’m not sure I understand why Thanos and his people were about to see what future Nebula’s memory system knew And I wasn’t super into her babying of the shithead but other than that I liked the character. I wish they would put more emphasis on the sisterly relationship she’s building with Gamora. 

Rocket- didn’t really like the way that he mocked Thor’s issues. However, he was a fun character. 

Rhodey- He was annoying at the beginning but I liked the fact that he didn’t follow Tony’s example and say FUCK THE WORLD. And I did enjoy some of his lines at the end of the movie. such as the way he addresses the fact that he’s disabled with Nebula, creating a connection between them. (much better than the condescending way that Tony talked to her at the beginning). And I liked how the disability impacted him negatively during the final fight. It was nice to see something that is actually a medical necessity. 

I did like the final battle. It was well done and I enjoyed the different fighting styles, bring back dusted characters, seeing who fought with who, and the devasting strength of Thanos. And the way that Carol really turned the tide. Tony’s death scene was incredibly dumb... Honestly, someone get Peter as far away from these kinds of fightings as possible because the kid doesn’t know how to handle shit. 

There is probably so much more to add to this but honestly, I’m tired and it’s already long af. This movie sucks, be prepared for it to be worse then you expect, if you wanted to see Tony actually be a hero without having be convinced other people matter. If you wanted to see Steve continue with the path that he’s been on since Winter Soldier and suddenly decides that he’s more into Peggy than he is anything else. If you wanted to see more of Ragnorak’s Thor. If you wanted more for Natasha then her death, something that only bothers me/Odin with actual issues. 

[homestuckisautistic]

Lanque...why?

I wanna start off by saying three (3) things. 

1. I am feeling much better now.

2. A few months ago, back in July maybe, I had a dream that I was still in high school (yikes!) and I had just moved to a new school (double yikes!) and Lanque went there for some reason and he was also the only troll there. Anyway he was very nice but all his friends called him “fingers in his ass Lanque.” Not kidding about this dream btw! Anyway I just wanna say r.i.p. to that perception of Lanque.

3. I wanna give a shout out to Diemen “I love putting drugs on my wiener” Xicali

This is gonna be an incredibly long post so I’m putting the rest under a cut. 

So where do I even fucking begin. 

I’ll start with Lanque’s life as a character, not his life within the canon of Hiveswap. 

As we all know, Lanque’s design was leaked long before his official appearance in the trollcall. A lot of people thought he was a butch lesbian mostly because of his resemblance to Sailor Uranus who was a lesbian in the original Japanese dub of Sailor Moon and apparently he looked like a character from Utena but idk anything about Utena. 

As we all know after Lanque’s official debut he was revealed to be a transgender man by infamous incest-shipping shithead Cohen Edenfield, (and one other person who idk anything about so I’m leaving them out of this) who also wrote Hiveswap and may I remind everyone that Dammek and Xefros’ relationship was marketed as wholesome and sincerely friendly and later it was revealed to be abusive. All I’m saying is that there’s a pattern here! 

Need I also remind everyone* that after Cohen revealed that he shipped incest it provoked a trauma episode in someone who was formerly a big name homestuck blogger on here and they had to leave the site for months for their own safety. Shit like this does affect people, it’s almost 2019 and we should all have the mind to think about how our words and actions affect others.

Now I’m not trans so I’m not gonna speak too much on this but personally I don’t think they intended for Lanque to be trans but rather what happened was they seen that the transmale community latched onto him and confirmed him as trans because of that. After all the friendsims have been taking cues from the fans (Galora becoming canon is a major example along with Amisia and Chahut being friends). It feels like a mean spirited trick and I can only imagine how shitty it felt for transgender men and boys who were hoping Lanque would be an actually decent person.

Onto the “good” route. 

I don’t even consider this route to be Lanque’s route. It’s a sequel to Lynera’s route. I don’t mind this because I’m always happy to see Lynera but wow I wish I had seen her under better circumstances. 

I’ve seen some people saying that the flower crown Lanque is wholly different from the Lanque from the other two routes but I disagree. It’s well known that abusive people often seem very charming and kind at first. In general, if someone is too charming, too kind, and seems too good to be true then they probably are.

The whole reason Lynera asks MSPA reader to go with her to the party is because she’s scared of Lanque. She fucking admits it to his face in a fit of anxiety. Which is to say that Lanque is an asshole in all three endings, we just see it to varying degrees. Also Lanque’s poem sucks.

As far as the other two endings, what can I possibly say? What can I fucking possibly say? Honestly, what can I say? I’m speechless at what happened. As soon as Lanque called Lynera a bitch tears welled up in my eyes and I only halfway succeeded at holding them back. When men call women bitches it comes from such a vitriolic place and even though the friendsims have no voice acting I could practically hear the hatred in Lanque’s voice. 

There’s really nothing else to say about those two endings.

It’s interesting to note that much of the dialogue in Lanque’s route is very tongue in cheek and breaks the fourth wall (”What about you? Oh I’m not real” “I mean I’ve had feelings for a girl before so it’d be really problematic if I liked a boy now.”) 

And the reason I bring this up is because of that last quote. Literally what the fuck. What was the point of that. Best case scenario is that everyone ignores it and moves on but because I’m typing this right now we all know that’s not the case. Literally all this line is going to do is promote tension between lesbians and bisexual women. It feels very intentional and very much like a jab at how lesbians and bi women seemingly can’t get along. It’s insidious. If someone thinks of Lynera as bi then that’s cool I honestly don’t care but her interactions with Lanque shouldn’t be used to justify that. Here’s why.

1. She outright admits she’s SCARED of him. She admits this in a fit of anxiety where she accidentally reveals her true feelings. IF she did have a crush on Lanque she wouldn’t have said “and I’m scared of you” she would’ve said “and I secretly have a crush on you and I’m scared of looking stupid in front of you.”

Also it’s literally feminism 101 to listen to people when they express disinterest. It’s also feminism 101 to not call people sluts as shorthand for “provocatively dressed” or “scantily clad” but that happens in this route too so whatever.

2. When Lanque starts coming onto Lynera the reader states that they think she’s not into it. Yes you can be flustered around a crush but that should mean that you have butterflies in your stomach and are scared of making a fool of yourself in front of them not that you are literally fucking scared. 

So, how could Lanque have been better?

Hear me out. In his original trollcall card, it says he “still has a livechurnal” (read: livejournal). So they could have made him super behind the times technology wise. Maybe they could’ve shown him having a busted old computer that still runs Windows XP because hey, it still works. Maybe his main pastime is playing minesweeper or virtual solitaire. Maybe he doesn’t even have a smartphone. The plot of his route could’ve been that his old computer finally breaks and he has to get a new one. Also, have him talk a bit about being trans and hire a trans sensitivity reader to make sure everything makes sense and isn’t offensive. 

Also, there is literally no reason for Lanque to be so shitty. The reason why Vriska and even Gamzee to an extent are beloved characters is because they have a motive to o horrible things. Vriska was groomed to be a child soldier and Gamzee was a victim of child neglect. Lanque has none of this.

I’m also very worried for Wanshi and I hope she never finds out how terrible Lanque can be. 

Also, fun fact: apparently Livejournal is very popular in Russia. According to Wikipedia, Livejournal is the largest social media site on the Russian speaking portion of the internet, and half of Livejournal’s userbase is from Russia. The more you know!

 If you’ve read this far then I want to say thanks. I also want to provide a link to “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s a fantastic book that has helped me understand why my dad is the way he is and if you’re dealing with or have dealt with abuse in the past this book will almost certainly help you. It mainly focuses on abusive men and intimate partner violence but the information this book provides can be applied to nearly every abusive person. Here’s the free pdf: https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

I’ll be writing a post about the Soleils tomorrow,

- Mod Jessica

[malefectium]

𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓍 𝒷𝓁𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓉

EMMA DUMONT —— Well, if it isn’t BELLATRIX BLACK, the SLYTHERIN superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re HUMOROUS and EMPHATIC, but they can also seem pretty DESTRUCTIVE and VINDICTIVE Sometimes people call them the HELLION. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

character parallels: regina mills (ouat), katherine pierce (tvd), christina yang (grey’s anatomy)

prep yourselves for a lesson in bellatrix black:

 so first, the goal for my girl is to not let her go fULL crazy yet. it’s hard to maintain, especially in a school setting and like??? nonsensical honestly.

 but i’ve let her spiral before so we’ll see haha kajsdhlf but she ain’t so angry this time. im tryin!

 but basically bellatrix is ready to let the world burn for the sake of reaching her goals. she’s ambitious man. she gon be a queen someday. that’s what this is all about. her getting what she wants. what she DESERVES dammit. and she’s a queen. where her kingdom at, you bitches??? WHERE IS IT ???

this grllllllllllllll. damn is she crazy about the female empowerment and crushing your enemies to dust thing.  have a problem?   NBD. because guess what, you have all the abilities in the world to TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT. idk man, she might be on to something. ain’t nuthin gon stop her and why should it? everyone take notes on how to be a bad bitch.

dumbledore himself admitted she had prodigious skill. not that she’s??? been running around bullying the fuck out of people? she’s just imperious and self-important rn. if anything, everyone isn’t really worth her time

listen.    she bought into absolutely EVERYTHING she was told growing up. ‘you’re a black”,  “you’re part of an exemplary lineage of witches and wizards that came before you and now all that weight is on YOU, bellatrix”    “you must continue this great and amazing line of magic users because it gets stronger with each generation, bellatrix”  “the fact you’re a black is the best and most important part of you, bellatrix” 

 abuse tw:  i mean???? it made her feel special, it brought meaning to a world that can be a little scary sometimes. forget the part where the people telling you these things are literally beating it into you. of course  it made   sense   that her family, these people around her that she cared for so much, were important.  it had to.  why should she think any differently?

 yes, i know the pureblood thing isn’t logical, at it’s essence it’s the search for self-worth at the expense of putting others down based on??????? literally nothing

but sadly that’s where all her self worth lies now. in a legacy  that she can’t even truly continue because she’s a woman. like??? i know she’s not a victim in the future because she makes A LOT of regrettable and horrifying choices???  but idk man. rn she’s just a kid.   it’s sad to me

anyways soap box over

 she is a soldier. so loyal. v dedicated and invested in the things she cares about. she’s not hollow about her emotions. she really really  CARES.  maybe too much. 

 she takes a lot of pride in being a part of something bigger than herself. the black lineage?? hell yeah she’ll take up that mantle. voldemort’s cause?? well that just gets her fucking wet dude. it’s how she’ll contribute, you know? she just doin her part. maybe in a way that she couldn’t even imagine for herself before now. not only will her family be the best and brightest but also??? rule the world??? 

come on man. who’d say no to something like that?

she’s a good student. v. smort. those spells come easy son. maybe she’s starting to dip into some spells she shouldn’t know, you know?? 

she be eyeing that restricted section, fam

 but  she’s also working v hard on keeping her nose clean so dumbledore wILL GET OFF HER BACK. that shithead’s scrutiny of her is over the top at this point. she ain’t done anything

yet

fucKING DO NOT insult her family. i s2g she can’t take it. she’s too protective. narcissa andie reggie even that fucking traitor sirius. she has so much love. I know that sounds crazy but family is her life. it’s BLOOD. they’re her’s, the only things youre simply given when you come into this world and she holds on so tight to them.

her name is her life. it means everything to her. being a black gives her purpose and so much privilege. basically if youre not in her family she feels so bad for you because omg yOUR LIFE MUST SUUUUUUUCCCKKKK. 

but also there’s a lot of pressure coming from that name.  don’t fail because well, honestly you CANT fail. there’s a lot riding on this legacy thing. even with half this family abandoning ship. that’s kind of ..... well that’s kind of adding a lot of pressure. but she can handle it. she has to, you know.   otherwise what else is there?

wow it’s almost like she cares about being a part of something.

 almost like she’s scared of ending up alone because what is she, if not a ‘black’??

 i’m SORRY? depth? fear? humanity? from a villian ?   *gasp*

weird.   wild.   unheard of.

daddy’s fave. omg daddy girl to the max. she admired the fuck out of that man. but her mom can suck a dick for all the fucks she gives. wHICH IS NONE  like pls someone kill the bitch

she’s so loyal. her life hasn’t been consumed by old voldie yet (or maybe ever??? iDK WE’LL SEE) so like. all that energy going to her fam. they haven’t completely failed her yet. sirius was a blow but . . . maybe she still has some hope for him

andie? love of her life. a queen. narcissa?  surely the brightest star in the sky.  reggie? perfect, delicate, and sensitive adult-sized infant, no one touch. sirius? MORON.  . . .  but also her moron, so. he better get his fucking act together

 speaking of shitty choices. hellooo drinking and smoking and general bad behavior type o habits. i’d say fucking but meh dlfkjasdhf everyone gon hate her

 mental illness tw: but yup that’s her escape. she straight up drowns herself in easy things. she’s v gluttonous, and enjoys sweets and wines and good food. it’s distracting when things get too much. when the walls are closing in on her and she remembers that there’s only really ONE option for the rest of her life. it’s kind of scary actually. gives her kind of a headache. plus forget about sleeping man. she’ll toss and turn at the slightest sound. or just lie awake thinking. dissociating. and damn has it been getting a lot worse lately. good thing she always has candy. or a flask.  

 at least it’s better then  leaving  (sorry she salty af about sirius man, she just didn’t see it coming)

possible connections: idk it’s bellatrix dude. everyone gon be scared of her al;dksjfl; but she aint so bad you pussies