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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

——————————————————————————

A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

——————————————————————————

“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

———————————————————————��——

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

#bakugou angst #bakugou oneshot #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #my hero academia #my hero fanfic #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero x reader #bakugou x y/n #bhna bakugou #bakugo angst #bakugou fanfiction #bnha angst

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aviatrickss · 2 years

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Thots on The Batman (2022)

Overall thoughts: Best Film???? Also shout-out to Faye who probably has bruises from how much I was excited-smacking her leg during the movie 😔

The opening scene… when they make you think that it’s Bruce and Thomas and Martha about to go see Zorro…. But then it’s NOT, it’s just time for PARALLELISM

The fucking music during the murder…. That shit slapped so hard. Seeing Riddler stand behind him for so long…. The fucking SCREAM he lets out…. It’s so fucking good I’m glad he gets to be spooky

Emo-ass Bruce my beloved… angsty boy… in the shadows…. Spooky dooky man…. He said fuck a clown…

Jim 💜

The kid finding the body….. the kid talking to the police… the fact that they chose to dress the kid in a fucking red hoodie and to give him the classic Robin haircut!!!!!!!

The police bullying Bruce and Bruce being autistic af

They really pulled out the Alfred and Bruce “you’re not my father” angst in the first scene huh

Gordon being so sad about his partner dying and Bruce being like “…he was a cop :/“

Aww but also Bruce being like “duh he’s not gonna kill you jim you’re a good person 🙄”

They really said bisexual Italian Selina 😏

Penguin is great and they made the Iceberg super original which was fun

SELINAAAAAAAAA

Cufflinks 🥺

The car crashing into the funeraaaallll! BRUCE SAVING THE KID!!!!

Bruce walking Gill thru the fucking riddles lmaoo. Also him not fucking running from the bomb as it counts down to zero…. Peak Bruce behavior

Gordon is a real one and I care him so much

THE CAR CHASE!!!!!! The Batmobile waiting in the shadows and fucking roaring like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park… Selina stealing the duffel bag w that sick motorcycle move… them going down the WRONG SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY…. THE TRUCK CRASHING AND FORMING A PERFECT RAMP FOR THE BATMOBILE AHHHHHHHHHH

The Batman/Gordon interrogation duo… they’re platonic justice soulmates

And then they just leave Penguin there 😂

The orphanage was v spooky 10/10

GOD bruce rushing to try and get home to Alfred and calling him over and over and over and being so scared AHHHHHHHH

Bruce showing up to the Iceberg as sad emo boy…. Sir…

The fact that all of his suit sleeves hang too long so that he looks like that Ariana Grande Shy Girls post

Eddie the whole time he’s being arrested looking like :3

NO 👏 MAN’S 👏 LAND 👏

Riddler’s plan to flood the city and force the survivors into one place where his followers could mow them down was basically the initial plan that the Columbine shooters had and that plus his video journaling were super interesting from a criminological perspective.

Wow…. Riddler and Joker are friends… world peace….

“You’re already spoken for,” Selina says, looking towards Gotham half-wryly and half-ruefully, and utterly breaking my heart.

“Take care of yourself,” Bruce says, because no one ever taught him to say I love you and he knows that that’s not what this is, not really, but he’s letting himself have that closeness for just a second and utterly breaking my heart again.

I think them racing motorcycles through the graveyard was the hardest I cried during the entire movie

Bruce almost verbatim quoting Dick at the end of the movie w “people need hope too”

Him helping the lady on the stretcher and holding her hand until the helicopter takes off… you can see in his eyes how he doesn’t really know what he’s doing but he wants to help and he DOES…. Proud of him

Battinson’s got the perfect amount of vulnerability but also passive suicidiality… he doesn’t fight smart bc he doesn’t CARE. His suit and the Batmobile might be bulletproof, but he knows damn well that they won’t last, and it’s just a matter of when the break, not if.

The fact that his eyelashes stick out of the cowl really made me feel some kinda way

It was actually a mystery. It was a mystery and Bruce did detective work! Actual detective work! And Jim and Alfred helped!!! It was a mystery!!!!!

Pete was a huge douche and also obviously corrupt, but him getting called “comissioner” was the biggest fucking death flag I’ve seen in my life lmao

THOMAS AND MARTHA’S BEDROOM BEING CHAINED AND PADLOCKED SHUT YESSSSSSS

Just. The fact that Riddler is a crypto-bro who thinks that Bruce Wayne is the mask and blahblahblah, and Bruce REJECTING that and choosing to be hope rather than darkness…. What a fucking theme.

I love this emo bastard w my whole heart

#the batman #the batman spoilers #trix-fix

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that-sarcastic-writer · 3 years

Text

Hurts like hell (Stephen Holder)

Pairing: Stephen Holder X F!Reader

Summary: After not seeing each other for almost a year, Stephen finds you, and you have a lot of things to talk about

Takes place between s1 and s2, like around the time holder is starting as homicide detective and is around 6 months clean

Warnings: this is a heavy one, mentions of drug use and addiction, mentions of overdose, explicit sexual content, minors DNI, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie lots of dirty talk, Holder being a kinky fucker, cause like that motherfucker is kinky, language, heavy angst, and a happy ending

WC: 6.4k I hate myself

A/N: Writing this was the literal description of the "I aint gonna do it" "already did it" sound from tiktok. So I honestly don't know why I spent 6+ hours writing this, tbh I don't expect many people to read it, cause like the killing is very underrated. But its Joel's best show, and honestly Stephen Holder is his best character along with Rick and Takeshi Kovacs, what can I say, holder deserves some love and appreciation and i really felt like writing for him. We'll see what happens. If anyone does happen to read it I hope you enjoy the angst and sin, which is usually my specialty.

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

There are a lot of things in this world that can hurt a person to the point of feeling like they're being torn apart. Love shouldn't be one of those things. Love should be one of those things in life that makes a person happy, fills them with joy and makes their day seem brighter. But like hell it is. Love hurts like hell. And that's something you experienced first hand.

You knew loving someone wasn't easy, committing yourself and opening yourself to a person and being completely vulnerable to whatever they might choose to do with your heart. But you never expected it to hurt as much as it did to love someone as much as you loved him. Because whatever was hurting him, it hurt you, whenever he was hurting, you were hurting too. And it killed you. But what truly dug the dagger into your chest and twisted it was the fact that he was hurting himself. He was killing himself and he knew it, he liked it.

You were head over heels for a drug addict cop.

You knew you should've seen the red flags, I mean he fucking screamed red flags. Outside of the fact like that he looked high as a kite 24/7, the man had so many issues and trauma it wasn't even funny. The man screamed childhood trauma from a mile away. But somehow you looked past it because he was the sweetest and most down to earth guy you had ever met. He made you laugh like nobody else could just because he was so dumb and sweet. It was easy to love a guy like him.

What wasn't easy was dealing with his addiction. And god knows you really tried. You did everything you could to help him. You tried to get him clean, you tried to take him to NA meetings, hell, you even let him get high in your apartment just so he wouldn't overdose in some crack house. But no matter what you did, you couldn't help him. He wouldn't let you, he would just push you away. And it killed you.

Walking away from him was probably the hardest thing you ever had to do. But maybe it was for the best.

It sure as hell hurt like it, there were times you were lying wide awake at night thinking if he was okay, if he had money to eat that night, or if he had just overdosed somewhere and you would never see him again. You didn't know, maybe you made a mistake leaving him, or maybe you did the right thing and it was the wake up call he needed. You had no way of knowing. But even after almost a year of being away you still thought about it, about him. Hell, whenever you saw a tall, lanky man with a jacket and a hoodie under it your mind would automatically ask yourself 'is that Stephen?' even if it was for just a second.

But with how far gone he was the last time you saw him, when you came back to Seattle you really had zero hope of seeing him, and if you did, it would probably break your heart all over again.

Loving the right person at the wrong time really hurts like hell.

It was so late at night your heart nearly jumped right out of your chest when you heard a couple of rapid knocks on your door. You were on your feet so fast you nearly bumped the foot of the couch. It was really late and you weren't expecting anyone at all. You had recently moved back to Seattle, and nobody outside of your immediate family knew your address. So who the hell was knocking on your door in the middle of the night?

You cautiously made your way around the arraignment of boxes on the floor to the front door. You looked through the peephole to see if you could see anyone. You saw a tall man, wearing a black jacket, but that was as much as you could see since his back was to the door and all you could see was the back of his short hair. You thought of him. God you hated your mind. But there was no way, he didn't have a way to know you were back in town. Surely, it couldn't have been him, right?

Well, there was only one way to know.

You made sure you kept the latch on before you unlocked the door and slowly opened it, only your head poking out. When you did, the man turned around and oh— you felt your heart sink and your stomach turn into a knot when you saw him. You saw Stephen, right there, right in front of you, pretty damn alive, too. For a moment you felt relieved because he was alive, he looked okay, he looked... Clean. Of course he still had a paleness to his face, and dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in years, which was probably true considering his job. But he didn't have that lost look in his eyes, he didn't have that sweaty look that made him look perpetually sick, restless or like he was going to make a whole in the center of the earth because he wouldn't stay still. Maybe he was clean. Maybe.

But that thought lasted about two seconds before everything else came crashing down. Every attempt you made of getting him clean, every night you held him shaking because he was withdrawing, every time he'd give you that guilty puppy dog look when he'd tell you he relapsed again. You remembered all of it, and you were done with it.

"No, no, no." You shook your head and went to close the door as fast as you could, not even giving him a chance to speak.

"No, no, hold up." He was quick, he got his foot in the door so you couldn't shut it on his face, he placed his hand flat on the door, too, just so you wouldn't close it on him.

"Stephen," You squeezed your eyes shut and exhaled sharply, voice harsh and sharp when you said his name for the first time in a long time. "Get the hell out. Now, I mean it."

"I just wanna talk, c'mon. Please." He sounded desperate, it was urgent, like he needed it. But you had heard that millions of times, you just couldn't do it. You couldn't go through this pain all of over again. You said nothing and you simply shook your head, shoving his foot back as you went to shut the door as hard as you could, but you stopped when he nearly shouted, "I'm clean!"

Your eyes blew wide, and you actually looked up at him, eyes meeting his. "W-what?"

"I'm clean." He repeated with a soft chuckle and he half smiled, feeling a small bit of pride in it, "I've been clean for six months. Can we just— c'mon baby I just wanna talk. I needa talk to you. Please?" He had this puppy dog look in his eyes, like he was silently begging you, he sounded genuine too.

God you wish you had more willpower than this. You always said that if you saw him again you would shut the door on his face and you wouldn't look back, you promised yourself you wouldn't go down this rabbit hole again. But fuck, seeing Stephen again, seeing him actually okay and just begging to talk, it made all of your anger and resentment suddenly disappear.

You chewed on your bottom lip, screwing your eyes shut and nearly slammed your forehead on the door as you had a quick mental battle with yourself. What the hell. You sighed heavily and kicked his foot away from the door before shutting it, hard. But just for a second because when you undid the latch you fully opened it this time. Trying to fight against the little sickness in your stomach and the shakiness in your knees, you took him in, your eyes taking in his tall frame, he looked good. God you hated that you missed him.

"You got like 60 seconds to tell me why you're here or I'm kicking your skinny white ass out." You said as you stepped away from the door, he followed you inside like a lost puppy. You swore you heard him chuckle behind you.

"You serious?" He chuckled, but the grin on his lips quickly turned into a flat line when he saw the blank expression on your face, your eyebrows shot up and your arms crossed over your chest, you were very serious. "You're lookin' good Y/N."

"Stephen." You said sternly, slightly tightening your jaw and rolling your eyes at his attempt at flirting. He always had a way of sweet talking people, especially you. But it would take a whole lot more just than that this time. "How did you even know I live here? And please don't tell me you've looked at my DMV records or some shit like that."

"Pff what? Babygirl, who do you think I am? I ain't a stalker you know that." He scoffed and shook his head dismissively.

"Look, I've been.. I've been lookin' for you, y'know? You were right, I hit rock bottom, I didn't care what I was putting in my veins, down my throat or up my nose. It was bad and uhm, I got help. I started going to N.A meetings, I got a sponsor, I was startin' to get back on my feet. But I didn't want you to see me like that no more, not after that last time so I waited. When I uh, when I got my one month chip I wanted to tell you but you weren't at your apartment, you weren't at work, I knew your parents wouldn't tell me shit, so I asked around, heard you moved to Cali or somethin' so I uh.. I stopped lookin'. Until a couple of weeks ago, I heard you were back in town, so y'know, I had to come see my girl."

There was something in the way he said it, in the way his voice got softer and quieter towards the end. Almost as if it hurt him to say it as much as it hurt you to hear it.

"I'm not your girl anymore, Stephen. That was a long time ago."

Was it though? You knew you were lying when you said you weren't his girl anymore. You knew you sure as hell never stopped loving him, you could never get yourself to date somebody else, no matter how many times you tried to meet other people, it was always Stephen who was on your mind. He was the one you wanted to hold you through the night, not anyone else. Even if you wanted to convince yourself otherwise.

"Yeah, 'cause you left." He spat, his voice was low but it was harsh, resentful and heartbroken. You really hadn't dared to look him in the eye, you couldn't bring yourself to, but when he said that, like it was your fault, then you looked at him and scoffed in disbelief. "Why did you leave? Why did you just run away like that? Didn't say why, didn't say goodbye, didn't say nothin'. You just left."

"Why did I leave?" You repeated in disbelief, "Are you seriously asking me why? I can't fucking believe you, I just can't. You're so fucking cynical." You exhaled sharply, feeling hot tears fill your eyes. You didn't know if you were crying from sadness or from anger. You couldn't believe he would ask you that as if it were your fault, when he damn well knew he fucked things up too.

"I'm cynical? You for real right now?" He scoffed in disbelief, his expression was hard, full of pure disbelief and hurt. "Well I didn't just take my shit and left when things got too hard. I didn't just give up on you, now did I?"

Oh hell no. He didn't just say that.

If you were angry before, you were absolutely fuming now. You felt your blood boil so much you felt like you were on fire. How could he even say that? You didn't even have the right words, you were absolutely speechless. Your face was soaked with hot angry tears when you lunged yourself forward and shoved him back hard. And again. He stumbled back both times, he nearly fell right on his ass. The third time he planted his feet on the floor, so you pounded your closed fists hard on his chest.

"Fuck you Stephen! Fuck you! Fuck you!" You shouted at him, eyes screwed shut as you hit his chest over and over. He grabbed both of your wrists, grunting lowly when you wouldn't stop and he held you to his chest despite you fighting against it.

"How could you fucking say that!? How could you say that I gave up on you? You fucking OD'ed in my bathroom! I had to drag your ass to my bathtub, get in the bathtub with you and hold you hoping you wouldn't die on me. Because I couldn't call an ambulance because you'd get arrested and you'd lose your job! So I just had to sit there, in that freezing cold water, holding your shaking body and fucking beg you wouldn't die." You choked out, the memory of it making you feel like you couldn't breathe. You had stopped struggling so he let you go, and for the first time ever, he was actually speechless and like he didn't know what to say.

So he just stood there, jaw tight and eyes filled with tears as he looked down at you. "And even when you stole money from me just to get another damn fix, I stayed, I stayed because I loved you. But you have no idea how hard it was to see you slowly kill yourself and not let me help you. I couldn't watch you die. Trust me Stephen, leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I didn't want to sit here and watch you kill yourself. I couldn't do it. So don't you dare say I gave up on you, because you gave up on yourself the minute you choose to put that shit in your veins."

"I—" There weren't many times you had seen Stephen cry. He was sweet and the most human person you've ever met, but he had so many walls he wasn't one break down and let his walls down. But now? He cried like you had never seen him cry before. You weren't looking at his face, his chest was as far as you could see without lifting your head up, but you knew he was crying. You could hear the quiet choked out sobs, his shaky breath and the way his chest rumbled with each sob.

"I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry." He pulled you to his chest, no resistance from you this time, and he cried hard, he cried into your hair. You did the same. You cried into his chest until you felt his hoodie start to get wet. Then he just fell to his knees in front of you. It was like he just couldn't hold himself together anymore and he was breaking down, right there, right in front of you.

"God I'm so sorry Y/N. You're right I.. I was hurting you and I didn't give a shit. I just kept putting that shit inside me cause that's all I knew how to do. I was just some lowlife tweaker and you deserved better than that. You—you were right to leave my sorry ass." He sobbed into your shirt like he couldn't breathe, like the realization was suddenly hitting him and it was putting so much pressure on his chest he couldn't breathe.

"Stephen, that's not true." You said shakily, running your fingers through his short hair as you cradled his head, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried not to choke on your own sobs.

"No, yes it's true. I wasn't the man you needed, hell I still ain't. I'm just some lowlife junkie tryna stay clean. And trust me it's hard. I've been goin' to my meetings and trying to stay focused on my job, but I'm always thinkin' about getting a fix. And maybe I will someday, when shit gets really hard and I'll just relapse again. That's not the kind of man you need in your life." He was ready to stand up, leave and never come back into your life like he should've done the minute he met you. But you didn't let him.

"Stephen," You said his name shakily as you dropped to your knees in front of him and took his face between your hands so he would look at you. "Baby I didn't leave because I didn't love you or because you didn't deserve me, I left because I loved you too much to watch you hurt yourself like that. It hurt like hell. But it was selfish, I should've stayed with you no matter what and I wish I had. That's why I came back, maybe it was too late or maybe it wasn't, but you're here, you're alive and you've been clean. And whatever demons you still got in you, we'll fight them together. If you still want me in your life."

"You kiddin'? You think I tried to bribe your parents into talkin' to me for weeks just so I could let you walk away? Hell nah. There's no way in hell. I want my girl back and I want to do it right this time." He half smiled, eyes closing and he pressed his forehead against yours.

"You bribed my parents so they'd tell you where I was?" You laughed, sniffling softly and he nodded. "Not gonna lie, that sounds kinda shady. You sure you ain't a stalker Officer Holder?"

"Actually, it's Detective Holder now. Homicide Detective for the Seattle P.D." He corrected you, a small proud smirk on his lips as he said that. You pulled back a bit to look at his face, trying to see if he was joking or not and you smiled. You knew he always wanted to be a city detective.

"Oh really? You're a detective now huh? Wow, look at you, you're all important now. Bet you got a lot of ass wanting to get a piece of your skinny white ass." You teased, bringing the back of your hand to wipe your tear stained face. Stephen did the same as he laughed softly.

"You already know how I do. I got one or two waiting for me to hit them up. Y'know my partner, she's crazy about me."

"Oh is that so?" You pushed your lips together and raised your eyebrows at him, eyes big as if to show shock.

"Oh c'mon baby, don't give me that look. You know I would never want anyone but you. You're my girl and you're always gonna to be, right?"

You were so focused on laughing with him again you didn't realize just how close he was. The space between you was so small you could fill it if either of you moved just an inch. You were aching for it too. You hadn't realized just how much you had missed him until now. Until you had him centimeters away from you, so close you didn't want to let him go again. Your eyes fell on his chapped lips for a second before you lifted your eyes up, and you caught him doing the same. Fuck, you were so close you could feel his warm breath fan right against your face and his body heat radiate around him. Hell, you thought you could even hear his heartbeat. His heart was probably pounding just as hard as yours was.

If only he'd just—

His hand fell on your cheek and you took a deep breath as he leaned in, filling the gap between you two. His lips found yours so fast it felt like they were magnets attracted to each other. It was slow at first, like you were learning about each other all over again, taking each other’s touch for the first time. That discovering phase didn’t last long though, because after a couple of seconds of exploring, a satisfied sigh rumbled in his throat and his tongue was already tracing the outline of your bottom lip. Without hesitation, you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to swirl with yours in a way that made you squeeze your thighs together trying to get some kind of pressure going. You lifted your hands up and wrapped them around his shoulders, shifting on your knees as you pulled him closer to you. He got the hint quickly.

“Can we just—” He broke the kiss, breathing just as heavy as you were when he pulled away. You nodded quickly.

“Oh fuck yeah.”

Stephen snorted and nodded, standing up to his full height and pulling you up with him. His lips were instantly back on yours, tongue diving in before you even had a chance to breathe. He grabbed the back of your thighs and hoisted you up around his waist, hands on your ass as he held you.

You kind of wished you had warned him about the mess of boxes that was your apartment, because he hadn’t even walked five feet before he was tripping over something on the floor, cursing against your lips as he tried not to fall face first with you in his arms.

“The hell? Yo, why do you got so many boxes here? Damn.” He groaned, kicking one aside with his foot as he looked around, trying to figure out where to go in this unknown apartment.

“I just moved here dumbass, don’t kick my shit.” You tried not to laugh, pressing your face into his shoulder as he just stood there. “My room is upstairs.”

“Oh hell nah. Look I’m all about making love in a nice cozy bed, getting all freaky under the sheets but like, your apartment is a fucking maze. I’m gonna bust my shit walking up them stairs or something.” He frowned, lips slightly pouted as he walked around until he found your couch and promptly threw you on it, making you giggle softly.

“Awe, it’s cute you think you were ever romantic like that.” He pouted even more, somewhat offended by your statement. “Did you forget we’ve fucked in your junk car that smells like an ashtray? So you really think I care about the candles and rose petals on the bed type shit?”

“Such a pretty face and such a dirty mouth, you really are my girl.” He laughed, his body coming to hover over you, right away settling between your legs like he belonged there. “You know I’m all about taking it slow, enjoying the moment and shit but like, I’ve really missed you and I gotta fuck you right here and right now.”

“Stephen,” You grabbed his face, biting your bottom lip so hard you thought you were gonna draw blood. “We got plenty of time to take it slow, but right now I need. So just shut the hell up already and fuck me.” You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes roll into the back of his head but his mouth was on yours so fast you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands found the edge of your shirt and he pulled it over your head with ease. His lips were quick to find the skin of your neck.

“Don’t worry babygirl, I got you. But just know that I ain’t leaving this apartment ‘til I get my head between your thighs, you got that?” His voice dipped so low it sent shivers down your spine. Hell, your head was spinning so much already all you could was nod.

Your own shaky hands eventually found the edge of his thick grey hoodie, you found it kinda cute he still had it, he always seemed to be wearing it. He got the hint and shrugged off his jacket, letting you pull the hoodie over his head quickly after. And he had a t-shirt under it. Damn, how many layers of clothes did this man have?

“You’re wearing too many layers.” You breathed out, your mind barely coherent at that point. Stephen chuckled as he sat back on his knees.

“It’s cold as hell outside, girl. You should warm me up.” He smirked playfully as he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head only to throw it somewhere over his shoulder. You couldn’t help but grow fixated on his tattooed skin, as dumb as some of his tattoos were, especially the one on his chest, the ink marking his skin was nearly as hot as he was. You couldn’t help but trace your fingers over the large print letters inked across his chest.

“This one new? You didn’t have it a year ago.” You hummed, biting your lip as you felt him shiver under your fingers.

“Yep, you like it?” He smirked, looking down where your fingers were touching his skin. You nodded.

“Yeah, it’s hot as hell.” You smirked, sitting up slightly so that you could press your lips to his chest and leave butterfly kisses along his pale skin.

“Mhm, y’know, I got this cross tattooed on my back, I got it after I got clean. And I was thinkin' of getting your name, too, ‘cause you were the reason I got clean in the first place, and the whole time I was just thinkin' of you, that I wanted to be the man you deserved.” You quickly pulled back to look at him, you blinked slowly, trying to take in every word he said. You let out a soft sigh, eyes meeting his own, he had this lovesick and fond look in them, like he was looking at the thing dearest to him, like there was nothing he loved more. You wish you had seen this sooner. You brought your hand to his face and kissed him so hard you heard him groan.

You wasted no time getting on his lap, straddling him as you worked on unbucking his belt. Your hands were shaking so much you could barely do anything. You eventually got it, the sound of the belt buckle rattling as you shakily tugged his jeans down his hips. He helped you this time, shoving them off the rest of the way until they fell to the floor. So much like you, he was down to his last layer of clothing. And he was so painfully hard under you. You felt all of it right against you, the flimsy material of your pyjama bottoms really wasn’t much of a barrier. So every time you moved, even in the slightest, you could feel the hard line of his cock brush right against you, making you pool into your bottoms more than you already were. But when you felt his hand slip right into your bottoms, fingers meeting with your slick core, that’s when you felt like screaming.

“O-Oh fuck.” You cursed under your breath, eyes nearly rolling into the back of your head at the slightest touch.

Stephen watched the way your face contorted and your mouth fell open when one of his long fingers dipped inside you, your walls instantly tightening around the digit. He felt his cock twitch when he drew out a desperate, choked out moan from you.

“Damn baby, this all for me? You’re all wet from a little kissin’? When was the last time you got some?” He asked lowly, his dropping so low it honestly made you even wetter. When you didn’t respond, he added a second finger, curling both digits until they were brushing right against your most sensitive spot. He had you choking on your own breath then. “I think I asked you a question didn’t I?”

“I-I haven’t with anyone. Just you.” You choked out, words no longer something you knew. He laughed, he fucking laughed, really proud of himself.

“You for real?” You could only nod. “You didn’t let nobody else fill this pretty little pussy, make you feel good?”

“God no. Only you could.” You swore you saw something snap in his eyes because his wrist fucking snapped, his fingers scissoring in a way that made your thighs tremble and jaw fall wide open.

“It was just me huh? You were my good little girl and you knew nobody else was gonna make you feel this good. You knew only I could make you feel so good you were shaking for hours and fucked you so hard you felt me for days, that right? You wanted to be mine even if I wasn’t there.”

As if you were soaked in your clothes already, another pool of wetness seeped right out of you and right into his hand. And the way he breathed out a moan almost made you want to come right then and there. As if his words weren’t enough.

“You missed bein’ called my good girl didn’t you? You missed it when I called you just mine? Hm?”

Words really weren’t an option at that point. All you could do was nod feverishly, a quiet and desperate moan being the only response you could give him at that point. You were so desperate trying to chase your high, the feeling of his fingers becoming too much to handle by then. Stephen seemed to have gotten the hint, because he pressed his lips to your throat as he started to slam his hand, his fingers scissoring you open with each snap of his wrist. But the second you felt his thumb pressing against your clit, you completely lost it. You saw white, a moan so loud leaving your lips you thought your neighbors probably heard and you jolted heavily, sweet release washing over you.

You were still panting heavily when his fingers left you, making you whine softly at the sudden emptiness. But when you opened your eyes you were whining, but for a different reason. Stephen had two fingers in his mouth and he sucked them slowly, eyes never leaving you as he did. Your lips were slightly parted, you couldn’t take your eyes away from him. God that man was fucking hot.

“Damn, I missed your sweet little taste. I think I was more addicted to you than I was to that damn thing.”

“Fuck Stephen, please. I really need you.” You whined, so desperate you tugged your bottoms clean off your legs, kicking them somewhere and you were completely bare on top of him, soaking right onto his boxers.

“I got you princess, don’t worry.” He wasted no time tugging his boxers down, sighing sharply when his length sprung free and slapped right against his stomach. You had to look down, your mouth suddenly dry at the sight. You felt his fingers under your chin as he tipped it up. “Eyes up here baby. You wanna be a good girl and ride me?”

God, how could you say no to that?

You nodded so fast it nearly gave you a headache. He hummed in approval before he grabbed your thighs and pulled you forward, spreading them apart as far as they could go. His eyes were dead on you, dark and determined as he felt you slowly sink down on him, the head of his cock pressing right against your entrance.

“C’mon baby, you got it.” He urged you on, slightly bucking his hips.

You whined softly, your head dropping to his shoulder and gripping the other as you lowered yourself further down. And fuck, it had either been a really long fucking time since you’ve been anyone or you totally forgot how to handle his size. Either way, when he slipped deeper, his sharp and heavy breath mixing with yours, you were already shaking. When he was sitting all the way inside you, you felt your thighs shudder and muscles tighten, your heart beating so fast it made you dizzy.

“You are—” He breathed heavily, Adam’s apple bobbing as you rocked your hips, not quite moving like he wanted you to. “So fuckin’ tight, damn.”

“God I missed you.” You mumbled heavily, face pressed into his shoulder as you brought yourself up before slamming down on his length, drawing out a groan from him. “I missed you so fucking much Stephen.”

He felt his cock twitch inside you and his eyes rolled into the back of his head when he heard you say his name like that. His head was slightly thrown back over the back of the couch, mouth slightly open as you were riding him. But the way you said his name, so desperate and so inebriated on the feeling of him, it made something snap in him.

“Say that again.” He drawled, grabbing a fistful of your hair to pull your head back until you were looking at him.

“I missed you.” You gasped softly, his sudden roughness taking you by surprise, but fuck did you love it. “I missed you so much.” You repeated, eyes screwing shut when he gripped your ass with his free hand and rolled his hips. His lips quickly found yours again and the moan he incited from you when he started to thrust into you got caught in your throat.

“Tell me you love me.” He muttered against your mouth, breaking the kiss to look at your face, as if he needed to see you when you said it. Your hands fell to his chest, placing them flat trying to embrace yourself as you bounced on him. It took you a minute to register his words in your fuzzy state of mind.

“I love you,” You said breathlessly, opening your eyes for a moment to find Stephen’s hazel turned brown eyes staring at you, head tilted back and jaw slightly agape. You lifted a hand to his face and pressed your forehead against his, the familiar recoil starting in your stomach, “God Stephen I love you.”

When you said it again, he wrapped an arm around you and without a single warning, he flipped you over, you were flat on your back, eyes wide, mouth hanging open and suddenly empty. You were about to yell at him when he grabbed one of your ankles and slid you towards him, throwing that leg over his shoulder. He slammed so hard into you it made you scream, back arching and eyes rolling into the back of your head.

It was his show now.

He wasted absolutely no time taking it slow, finding a pace, none of that. He pounded into you, hips snapping at a quick and even pace, bottoming himself out with each thrust. He had you feeling that recoil again in a matter of seconds. You were damn sure you were about to see stars.

When your eyes opened for a split second, you swore your face flushed even more because when you did, you saw Stephen, lips slightly parted and eyes fixed between your bodies, right where he was sinking in and out of you.

“Damn.” He mumbled lowly, suddenly fixated on the sight of him fucking in and out of you.

He licked his thumb and dropped his hand between your bodies, pressing his thumb against your clit, quickly rubbing sharp circles on the bundle of nerves. You were going to lose it soon, you knew it. And judging by the way Stephen started to thrust into you with purpose, he knew it too.

He used his free hand to grip the armrest above your head and he leaned over you, sweaty chest pressing right against yours as the sound of slapping skin filled your ears.

“Don’t stop,” You urged breathlessly, being so close you felt like you were going to pass out. “Please, please Stephen, don’t stop.”

“I got you baby, c’mon, come for me.” He urged, giving a particularly hard and deep thrust that mixed with the shocking waves from your clit, completely sent you over the edge.

The sob that came out of your mouth as you came fell right into the air, filling the apartment, surely to be heard by whoever had the misfortune to share a wall with you. Your thighs trembled pathetically as your walls gripped him like vice, nails digging into his back as you sobbed his name quietly. You must’ve squeezed him hard because his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his hips faltered, cock twitching as he came inside you shortly after. His hand gripped the armrest for some stability until his knuckles turned white as he just sat inside you, his head on your shoulder as he left wet sloppy kisses along the skin like he was silently praising you.

“I love you, and I missed you, too. More than you can imagine.” He mumbled against your shoulder, breath heavy, much like your own. You were panting softly, your leg fell from his shoulder with exhaustion as you just held him with one arm and you ran your fingers through his soaked hair. “Please don’t leave me again. I know I can be a lot, and I know I ain’t easy to deal with, but I need you. I can handle not having anythin', hell I could handle not putting that shit in my veins anymore, but I just can’t handle you not being around. Hurts like hell.”

“Stephen,” You sighed softly, slowly pulling his head from your shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, smiling softly as you looked over his face, “I’m not leaving you, I don’t care how hard it gets, I’m not doing that to you again I promise. Dealing with your addiction was hard, I just couldn’t do it then. But I came back because being without you was harder. And it hurt like hell, I can’t do it again.”

“God I love you.” This time he kissed you hard, smiling against your lips when he did. You giggled against his lips and gasped softly when you felt him pull out of you. But your eyes shot open with confusion when you felt his weight leave you completely. And when you sat up on your elbows and you looked down, you saw Stephen on his knees at the foot of the couch. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion but your eyes widened when you saw him grab your foot with a mischievous smirk.

“Stephen, what the hell?”

“I said I wasn't leaving this apartment until I got my face between your thighs, didn’t I? Well, I’mma do just that, you got somethin’ to say about it?”

Nope. Not at all.

Love hurts, of course it does. Oftentimes it hurts more than making you happy. But for a love like his, maybe you liked the pain. You would let it hurt, because he was worth it, you knew that now.

#joel kinnaman #joel kinnaman smut #stephen holder #stephen holder x reader #the killing #smut #x reader #x reader smut

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theghostofblackbunnymask · 3 years

Note

Hi, can you please write a general yandere alphabet for Karl Jacobs from dream smp?

Author's Note- This has been just sitting here.

Warnings- Murder, Sadism, Panic Attacks, Mental Breakdowns, Gore, Breaching Personal Space

Yandere Karl Jacobs Alphabet

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Karl in game (And in real life) is very cuddly, so of course his way of showing love and affection would be physical touch, hugging, cuddling, kissing, pretty much any form of touch

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He can be pretty messy, but Karl doesn't really do killing, he just prevents that person from being born

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Karl will treat you with love and care, cuddling you, checking up on you, making you food, making sure your taking care of yourself, the whole 9 yards

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Definitely going back in time and changing stuff from the past, like making sure you didn't meet one person or preventing someone's life

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Karl really wants to trust you, but Karl is smart enough to know that you'll have to earn it, since if he trusted you immediately, you can run off since he trusted you too soon

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Karl would be disappointed yet ashamed, ashamed of his himself for making you have to fight back as a defense, and with his memory it definitely doesn't help at all

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This isn't a game to him, he would panic and look everywhere, he'll even go back in time to see when you eescaped and where you went.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Dark Karl. Karl has a side he rarely shows, and it mainly shows if he finds out you're taking advantage of him, taking advantage of his memory issues, taking advantage of his kindness. Karl could NEVER hit you, but, he will lock you in a blood room with blood covering the walls, organs pined to said walls with rusty nails, and dead bodies everywhere. You'll be left in their for days if not weeks, he won't feed you nor will he give you water, he told you if you got hungry, just eat the bodies or if you got thirsty, drink their blood.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Living together in peace, time traveling together, and maybe even adopting a kid

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Karl doesn't really get jealous, since he will most likely forget the encounter

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He's very kind, caring and loving, yet also very touch starved and clingy. He loves hugging, cuddling and kissing you. He would even hold hands with you if you don't like hugs

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He would invite you to picnics, time traveling trips, and sleepovers. He would want to become your friend first so you know who he is and you trust him

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Dark Karl is a completely different thing, if you've seen my college AU Karl, College AU Dark Karl isn't like DSMP Dark Karl, DSMP Dark Karl is a demon Karl got from time traveling, while College AU Dark Karl is a different personality, that was originally a coping mechanism, but it just got out of hand

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Karl doesn't like hurting you, cause when your hurt, Karl's hurt. He would punish you by locking you in a room for a few days, not getting much food, only some salty crackers and water, and some juice if you were doing well

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

He barely takes any, cause he wants you to feel comfortable and safe with him, and he doesn't want to break you

The only right he would take away from you is leaving him and personal space

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Karl is extremely patient. He could wait millions of years for you to love him, and he won't be mad about it

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No. Karl would have mental breakdowns to the point he'd be so mentally and physically tired that he wouldn't be able to breath, leading to Dark Karl taking over, and he's going to hunt you down if you escaped

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

If you're not happy or extremely depressed he will, DSMP Karl loves you and wants you to be happy and healthy, but if you're not, he'll let you go and just watch you from a far, seeing you smile and laugh is much better than you cuddling him even though you're depressed.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Quackity leaving.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He'd try and get you out so he'd can spend time with you. He'd good around to see you smile and tell you stories from his adventures

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Him actually taking you places.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His kindness, this'll be very risky, but you can do it if you're smart about it

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not on purpose.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Extreme lengths, he'd try everything, Yandere DSMP Karl is the actual definition of a simp.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

9 months, man gets too excited

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

HE COULD NEVER.

#yandere dream smp #yandere mcyt #dream smp x reader #dreamsmp x reader #yandere dream #yandere dream x reader #yandere mcyt x reader #mcyt x reader #karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs x you #karl jacobs x y/n #Yandere Karl Jacobs

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catxsnow · 3 years

Text

FIVE TIMES DICK GRAYSON HUGS

Request: How about ideas about hugs and cuddles from Dick? Fluff is an important part of a balanced fandom after all

Warning: fluff, mentions of sex but pg, mentions of blood

A/N: A little bit of a different layout but soft nonetheless

Word Count: 2.2k

i) Dick Grayson in the mornings

Dick always has trouble getting up in the morning. He doesn't like the bright sunlight breaking through his blinds or the loud crashes of his neighbors from getting ready in the mornings. Sleep always calls for him the moment his alarm goes off and he despises the idea of actually having to get out of bed.

He finds himself grabbing at any excuse just to stay a few moments longer. Maybe a 'I showered last night I don't need to this morning' or 'I'll make coffee at home today so I don't have to wait in line'. Any little thing to be able to sleep in for just five more minutes.

It's even more impossible when you're staying with him. He finds himself turning off his alarm only to roll over and snuggle into you. Big arms wrapped around you, legs tangled. He's got the most ridiculous bedhead in the world but god is it adorable on him. Dick's still half asleep and he can't even bring himself to leave a kiss on your cheek.

More times than not he falls back asleep again. It's hard not to when the love of his life is asleep in his arms. However, he often gets in trouble too. Showing up late for work or getting an angry phone call from Bruce or the team that he's not there.

It's impossible to get him off of you too when he's sleepy. Dick becomes completely dead weight and half his body is always on top of yours. Waking him is just as hard. Once he's asleep somewhere he feels safe, he's not getting back up. Mumbles in his mornings voice, squeezing you tighter, he's completely adorable when he's trying to sleep.

“Just a couple more minutes baby.”

Dick likes to blame the reason he gets stuck in bed so often on you - but truth is that's all on him. He's always struggled to get up in the morning and after long nights of being a hero, it doesn't help.

ii) Dick Grayson coming home from a long day

It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, if he's had a terrible day at work, he's swooping you up and carrying you to bed. He doesn't do that very often, only when he's on the verge of a breakdown. So, when he does pull a little stunt like that, you know that he's upset.

“I missed you today, my love.”

He pours his heart out during those times. Venting to you about his issues, his feelings, how frustrated he is that he can't change what's happened. It's heartbreaking to see him like this because he's trying so hard to keep himself together when he's clearly breaking at the seams.

Dick doesn't want you to see him when he's vulnerable and weak like this. He's always supposed to be the strong one. He's supposed to be the one who always knows what to do, who's always going to have a plan. Truth was, he couldn't be that person - at least not all the time. On the days that he couldn't, he looked to you for answers.

He'd find himself wanting you to encase him completely. Dick's safe in your arms, no matter the situation. He knows that this is the time that he can truly break down and you'll always accept him. There's nothing that he ever needs to worry about when he's with you.

Blankets mountain over you both. Dick's got his head on your chest, sometimes your stomach when he's curled up even more than usual. When he's in his bad moods, it's like he needs to hear your heart to remind him that he too is human. He can only handle so much before he snaps. His arms are tight around you, keep you so close that sometimes it's hard to breathe.

In those moments it feels like his hold on you is the only thing keeping him sane, the only thing that's keeping him grounded to earth. Dick has his times where no words can fix his issues, but your actions can. A simple hug, kiss, hand rubbing his back that reminds him that not everything in this world is out to get him.

It's those times that you know to be extra loving with him. Tell him how much you love him, how you adore what he does for this world, how important he is in your life.

iii) Dick Grayson after a night of patrol

Every night, the only thing he has to look forward to is coming back home to you. No matter how many times he gets beaten down, he knows he has to get back up to get home to you. Dick knows you're waiting for him, worried out of your mind as whether or not he'll make it back alive.

So, when he gets back, stripped of his suit and a shower that washes away his dirt and grime of the night, he finally makes his way into bed with you. His body aches from the hits he got, even when he's in the warmth of your bed. He's exhausted by the time he gets home to you, and it's a struggle to even clean himself up.

No matter how tired he is, how sore he is, he always pulls you into his chest to give you a kiss. It's his way of telling you that he's made it home safe, even if he's barely hanging on some days. It's a silent 'I love you' when he can't get the energy to say it out loud.

When he holds you close at night, it's his only way of being able to fall asleep. He doesn't think about the horrors he's seen at night when he's with you, he doesn't think about how much trauma he's been through. All Dick can think about is you, everything that there is about you.

“I’m glad you’re safe and back with me, Dick.”

“I’ll always come home to you.”

His nightmares don't plague him. He doesn't wake up randomly throughout the night. Being with you lets him be in peace.

When he cuddles you at that point in his day, he envelopes you completely. His arms are tightly wrapped around you so you're flush against his body. Dick nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and his legs are perfectly lined up behind yours. He's found himself reliant on you to be able to fall asleep.

In the winter, when it gets cold out, Dick just absorbs your body heat. He craves it when he's out as Nightwing. The cold winds bite at his skin and he's consumed with the memory of your body warmth. He hates feeling cold when he knows that he could easily quit early and come back to you.

On some lucky nights - or maybe unlucky if you look at it - when his body is really sore, you'll offer up a massage. Dick can never say no. You'll find yourself sitting on his butt as he lays on his stomach. Scars and wounds lacing the skin on his back and his tense muscle aching for your touch.

Dick falls asleep like that all the time, no matter what. You could be telling him about your day or even he'll be telling you about his and he'll fall asleep mid-sentence. He wakes up refreshed every time you offer to do it for him, and more times than not he'll always find a way to repay you back.

iv) Dick Grayson on rainy days.

He loves having rainy days with you. Not necessarily rainy days - but the kind of days that he gets to be free of worry from the outside world and just focus on you. Hours upon hours that he gets to relax, often for the first time in months. Those days always seem like a blessing to him, especially when he gets to spend them with you.

Watching movies where he gets to cuddle you on the couch. The both of you laying on your sides. Dick's pressed against the back of the couch with his arms tightly around you so that you don't fall off the edge. He leaves annoying (adorable) little kisses at the back of your neck and a lot of the time tickles your sides.

Or you'll be in the kitchen, baking cookies or brownies, or whatever Dick wanted that day. He's always standing behind you, arms around you and chin resting on your shoulder. His eyes are glued to your movements, adoring how you can make something so mundane so beautiful at the same time.

On days that the rain is pouring outside, Dick will drag you outside - whether it be a balcony, a rooftop, to just the streets. He's got you out in the freezing cold where the rain is soaking your clothes and your clinging onto him for any remnants of body heat.

Dick wants to give you that cheesy, cliche, kiss in the rain. He wants to hold you, to kiss you, to tell the whole world how grand his love is for you. Hands cupping your cheeks, lips molding perfectly to yours. He can feel the drops of rain slipping between you, but it's never enough to get him to pull away. The cold ignites through his body but the warmth of your kiss, your touch, everything there is to you is enough to pull you back in for more.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot.”

Dick spends the rest of the day clinging to you - or more so the other way around. It's his fault that you're frozen to the core and he's going to be the one to fix it. He doesn't mind, not when it gives him the opportunity to just be closer with you.

v) Dick Grayson after sex

He can't get enough of you. Dick Grayson can never find a way to express his love completely. No words, no action, nothing in this world would ever be enough to show how vast his love is. Out of breath, sweat covering his skin, he'd still pull you in for more kisses, more time to show you that he loved you.

Sometimes Dick would have an arm tucked behind his head, the other stroking back and forth along your back. He loves post-sex cuddles with you. He's still on a high with you, absorbing your activities with a smile on his face.

His entire focus is on you. Kissing you, loving you. He's checking to make sure that he didn't hurt you in any way. Dick Grayson becomes the most caring person towards you - more than his usual self. His sole priority is making sure that you feel loved, safe, and happy.

Laying on your sides, facing each other and just talking about anything and everything are his favourite moments. He can't keep his hands off you - in a non-sexual way. Cupping your cheek, drawing into your arm, watching the goosebumps roll against his skin as the cold starts to fill you both.

A smile never leaves his cheeks. Not for a second. How could he when his entire view is focused on you? He's sneaking in for a kiss at every chance he gets - and when he's not his hands are on you. They're playing with your fingers as you talk or brush against your body.

“How did I get so lucky with you?”

Cuddles with him after sex always seem more intimate than the moment itself. He gets the opportunity to talk about his heart's desires or his fears. He feels like it's his prime moment to be able to express anything that he's been feeling because it's when you're most willing to open up too.

It's a time of reflection. For some reason, these conversations always come up after your most intimate moments. It's the concept of growing together, not separately or apart. His future is you, it's always been you, and he's making sure that you both want it to stay that way.

Bonus: Surprise Hug

Getting home early from a mission or managing to sneak away to see you even just for couple minutes, he loves to surprise you with a hug from behind. You’ve learned by now how his body molds to yours, the calming scent of his cologne as he gets close to you - it’s never a worry who’s hugging you because you know his touch by heart.

He loves to hear the joy in your voice when he shows up. The excitement that you get just for making the effort to show up for even a few minutes in the middle of the day or a couple hours early getting home. There’s nothing better than the warmth that spreads in his heart because of you.

taglist

@pricetagofficial @mora-miserium @babymango-writes @redrobin-yumm @simp-is-what-i-am @catsofsmoke @subtleappreciation @officiallydarkgeek @spiitfiires @pinkdiamond1016 @childish-kiwi @givetimdrakeacoffee @gunnedrobin @anythinggoesfandoms @local-fandom-trashcan @bikoncon

#dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson fanfic #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson oneshot #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing fanfiction #nightwing imagine #nightwing oneshot #dc one shot #dc titans #dc imagine #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfam imagine #batfam x reader #batfam one shot

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javier-pena · 3 years

Text

triumvirate

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Katie

Word Count: 13.7k (I know, I know ...)

Rating: Explicit (and I mean explicit, this is the most explicit thing I’ve ever written)

Summary: You and Javi have been talking about inviting someone into your bed, just to see what it would be like. But you had no idea he already has someone in mind.

Notes: This started as a brief conversation I had with Dani @javierpcna while making a gifset actually, and it turned into this huge fic involving a character that doesn’t even speak a single line of dialogue (yes, this is Katie, the woman from the elevator in s3e1, the one who looks at Javi ... respectfully). I actually don’t remember the last time I had this much fun writing anything, so I guess I will be writing more Javi fics in future ... also, as always, huge thanks to Dani for putting up with my crazy ideas for a week, for encouraging me, for sacrificing a Sunday evening to read this, and for kindling the flames that brought this on in the first place! Also I believe Javi doesn’t share but he can be a bit ooc - as a treat ...

***

Javi doesn’t like to talk about his work. He doesn’t like to “bring it home” with him, even though the word “home” is all relative to him. He keeps quiet about it when you’re at his flat, that’s sacred ground to him, but your flat is fine. So when he’s at your place, he sometimes talks about his colleagues, the paperwork he needs to finish, how his boss got on his nerves today. You know there is much he could tell you, a lot he doesn’t share on purpose, and some things he never mentions because he’s not proud of them.

At first, you are worried because he doesn’t let you in. You aren’t used to having someone in your life who keeps so much hidden from you, especially someone you slowly, over time, start to share everything with, from a cup of coffee over breakfast, over a cigarette during a hasty lunch break, to sighs and moans, joined hands and heartbeats under the cover of the night. Especially someone you slowly but surely find yourself falling in love with, someone you want to share your life with, but also someone who doesn’t seem to feel the same way, who keeps a part of himself hidden behind tailored suits and starched shirts. It makes you nervous and wary when he never answers your questions, it hurts you when he changes the subject, sometimes quite cruelly, but over time you begin to see this arrangement as something enjoyable.

In all your previous relationships, you’d mostly talked about work, discussed your day, asked boring questions to get boring answers from your partner. Maybe that is the reason why they never lasted – you were so preoccupied with involving each other in your professional lives that you never focused on the personal aspect of your relationships. But with Javi you’re forced to talk about something else, about anything else, books, movies, music, travels, that little dog you saw on the street today, how your mother is doing, the sock that has gotten lost in the dryer. And you love this about him, love how you’d gotten to know an entirely different version of him than most people know. Granted, he doesn’t watch a lot of movies and he doesn’t listen to a lot of music, he hardly ever has time to read, but he’s seen the world, he tells you stories you don’t bore of hearing repeatedly, while your fingers lay entwined on his broad chest, the warmth of his skin seeping into your body, his breath tickling your hand, while he talks, and you listen. Sometimes, on the rare occasion he cooks for you, he tells you about his childhood, about how his mother taught him to kill a chicken (“If you can eat it, you can kill it”), about how is father gave him his first beer to drink when he was eight (“It’ll make a man out of you”), about how his grandmother showed him which spices to use for what dish (“Never mix garlic and lemon juice, it’ll turn the garlic green”). It’s moments like these where you feel he trusts you. You don’t need him to give you a detailed rundown of his day, to tell you how badly his morning coffee tasted, how boring his meeting was, how much his colleagues annoyed him. Getting to know this personal side of him, the one you know he doesn’t usually share, that’s enough for you.

You trust him, and he trusts you.

His withdrawnness when it comes to his work is the reason you’re completely caught by surprise when you’re over at his place one cloudy Saturday afternoon for a late lunch and he mentions work. You’re the one cooking this time, a stew your grandmother taught you to make, and while you wait for it to finish simmering, you sit at his small kitchen table, lost in idle conversation. And no matter how idle those conversations get, talking to Javi is never boring, and that is one of the things you love about him. But when he does mention work – and nothing prompts it, no probing questions on your part about a torn shirt you find lying discarded on his couch, no need to share something with you out of weariness and frustration on his part – you are immediately snapping to attention. It’s infuriating how he does it, casually, while he fills a glass with tap water for you.

“There’s this girl at work,” he says, and your ears prick up at the word work, immediately on guard. He turns off the water but doesn’t turn to look at you when he continues. “I think … I think you would … like her.”

It’s so uncharacteristic of him to be this careful, almost flustered – is that a flush you see creeping up his neck? He’s usually very assured, he usually has no trouble making eye contact, he usually says what he needs to say with as little or as many words as he sees fit. So when he stammers and blushes like this, you can’t help but smile. You can guess, of course, what this is about. You’ve mentioned a few times that you miss your friends back home, that you sometimes feel lonely and wish you had more people to talk to. And he remembered, he listened to you and he remembered, which makes a warmth spread from your chest to your limbs, and the corners of your eyes crinkle with a soft smile.

“Is that so?” you ask teasingly.

He turns around and takes the two steps to close the distance between the sink and the table. You take the glass from him as soon as he stands in front of you.

“She’s … nice,” he tries to elaborate. He sits down next to you and takes your hand into his, his skin warm to the touch. His thumb brushes over your knuckles as he watches moisture gather on your glass. It is a hot day, and the windows of his small kitchen are open, allowing for the sounds of the city to drift in, to swirl around the two of you, to give you some background noise to the comfortable silence that sometimes settles between you. “She’s funny,” he continues finally. “Ambitious, too. Junior agent. You have a lot in common.”

That sounds more like the Javi you know; observant, good at reading people, good at making connections. He’s still not looking at you though; it feels like he’s asking you something big, something life-changing, not like he’s trying to help you find a friend.

“Yeah, she sounds nice,” you agree. You raise the glass with your free hand and take a sip of water. “I’d like to meet her.” And even if you shouldn’t get along, there is no harm done. But you feel like you will because Javi is very good at reading people and if he says that this woman is someone you would like to spend time with, you know you will.

“You would?” His head snaps up in surprise, and it makes you smile again. As if you could ever refuse him! And if he’d ask you to move to Antarctica with him, you wouldn’t hesitate. But you can understand his tentativeness because you haven’t technically told him that. Yes, Javi is easy to talk to, but not when it comes to feelings. Those conversations are reserved for the dead hours of the night, for when it feels like you two are the only people in the world, for when you both know you can open up to each other, be at your most vulnerable state without the other person taking advantage of it, of crushing it like a fallen leaf. And you haven’t had many of those conversations yet.

Still, your heart picks up speed at the thought of how he’s looking out for you, of how he met a woman at work and thought to himself that you maybe would like to be her friend, how he was nervous to bring it up because he thought he might have misread your needs. But if there is one thing Javi is brilliant at, the one thing no one else in your life has ever been able to do, it is reading your needs, interpreting them correctly, and then acting accordingly to them, doing everything he can to care for you and look out for you, sometimes even at the expense of his own needs. You wouldn’t be able to tell that about him by looking at him, by hearing how his acquaintances talk about him, but there is a soft side to this man, one you feel very protective of.

You nod with enthusiasm. “Sure, why not? If she’s as great as you say, then I don’t see why we wouldn’t be getting along.” You are very curious to meet this woman. He’s hardly given you any information about her, but still, she sparks your interest.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Good.” He also nods, but when he does it, there is an air of determination to it. It feels like you’ve just agreed to some big plan you don’t fully understand, not to having lunch with one of his colleagues. “Listen, there’s this work thing next Friday.” His voice gets lower with each word, so he pauses to clear his throat. “I think you should come along, meet everyone … officially. She’s also gonna be there, it’s a good opportunity …”

Now you can’t help but giggle. He squeezes your hand, and you squeeze back. “You’re very eager to introduce me to her, aren’t you?” you tease, but there is no malice in your words. You’re actually flattered he’s talking about introducing you to his colleagues, about bridging that divide between private and professional.

Your fondness for him gets lost in translation, and your words fall on different ears than they are intended for. “I’ve been telling everyone at work a lot about you –”

You cut him off with a firm kiss that elicits a low growl from his chest. “Javi, I’m already convinced, okay? No need to lie to me,” you whisper against his lips, your hand brushing against his rough cheek. He has to understand that he doesn’t need to pretend with you, that he can be his true self around you.

He lifts your entwined hands from the tabletop and presses a soft kiss against your knuckles. “I’m not lying.” You want to believe him, but there is a glint in his eyes when he looks up from your hand and locks his gaze to yours. It would be wise to be annoyed with him or tease him in turn, but you can’t help yourself. Every time those brown eyes land on you, you feel a pull towards him you cannot quite explain but also cannot ignore. You have to give in.

Still, you roll your eyes in a valiant attempt to keep up a semblance of dignity before pushing yourself off your chair and onto his lap. Your fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck and you grip it and hold onto it as you carefully roll your hips under the pretense of finding a comfortable position. Both his hands immediately land on your sides and squeeze.

“Then let me give you something to tell them about,” you whisper, your lips right next to his ear, and nothing beats the feeling of pride rushing through you as he pushes his hips up, chasing a tiny bit of friction. You’re sure it’s basic instinct, something he can’t quite control, and you love nothing more than making him let go.

***

You thought you would be meeting Javi’s colleagues at a bar, but then you find yourself in front of a nice restaurant. It’s the only place in town that sells good burgers, or at least that’s what the man at your side tells you. You were planning on getting pleasantly drunk, not making conversation while trying to coordinate a knife and fork, but you think you’ll manage as long as you stick to your companion.

But something about Javi feels off tonight. He nervously fixed his tie in your hallway mirror when he picked you up (usually he doesn’t care about the state of his tie’s knot), he didn’t talk to you much during the drive to the restaurant (usually he points out little details he notices about the city or takes this opportunity to compliment you), and now he keeps fiddling with the cuff of your blouse as he leads you up the stairs to the restaurant’s entrance.

You’re also nervous, mostly because you haven’t met any of the people you’re about to be introduced to, and you don’t know if you’ll have something in common with them or if you’ll spend your evening sitting alone in some dark corner nursing one fancy cocktail after the other. If there’s one thing you’re not good at, it’s going into a situation unprepared, and Javi did nothing to help you build up some expectations about what to expect from tonight. To be fair, you didn’t ask. You didn’t ask about the colleagues you’re about to meet, you didn’t ask where you were going to meet them, and you didn’t ask about the woman he is planning on introducing to you. The reason for your silence? You didn’t want to annoy him, show him just how insecure you are.

But you feel oh so apprehensive about this evening. Your positions are reversed now – suddenly it is you who thinks it might not be such a good idea to mix personal and private. You have no answer as to why you feel like this. It is just a dull sensation in the pit of your stomach that makes your hands feel cold even though it’s a hot, humid evening. It makes you want to turn to the man at your side and ask him to go home. But you won’t. Because despite the dread you’re feeling you’re kind of excited at the prospect of meeting this new colleague he mentioned to you. There is an air of mystery around her that intrigues you because he hasn’t talked about her since that afternoon almost a week ago. And you appreciate the gesture of him biting the bullet and mixing the two sides of the coin that is Javier Peña so you can find a friend.

Once you make it inside, Javi leads you to a group of people who are already standing together in a cluster. The introductions are over way too fast, and you don’t remember a single name. Most of the men you meet look the same to you – they’re wearing suits in different shades of blue and grey and brown, broad, colorful ties, and big smiles. You’re smiling too as you shake their hands, while Javi introduces you to them as his girlfriend, and you know he would because he told you he would, but it still makes you feel warm and tingly, and it cements your right to be here by his side. You’re pretty sure you keep smiling at him like a lovesick teenager, but you don’t care. He’s smiling too, keeping close to you, a hand at the small of your back or on your elbow, his chest always right behind you for you to fall back into should you seek comfort.

Sometimes, you feel him stiffen behind you when a few of his colleagues crack jokes about how you were able to tie down the elusive Javier Peña. He rolls his eyes at their remarks, but you laugh along. You know about his reputation, you know about his past relations with other women, but you don’t mind. Why should you? You also don’t mind his colleagues’ reactions – all you care about is that this feels right at the moment and you wouldn’t change it for anything. But you do understand a bit better why Javi was wary of you meeting his colleagues.

To your relief, there is enough to drink, and soon you find yourself standing at Javi’s side, a bottle of beer in your hand, while you listen to him talk to a man about ten years his senior. You don’t understand much of what they are saying – they’re using so many abbreviations it sounds like code – but Javi stands with his hip cocked to one side so he’s leaning close to you, and you enjoy feeling the ghostly shadow of him by your side. Since he doesn’t like to talk about his job, you enjoy seeing this relatively unknown aspect of him, this other man who’s like a stranger to you, who talks with so much confidence and poise that you cannot help but listen to his every word. And you understand why he seems to be so admired among his colleagues, why they were eager to shake his hand when you arrived, why they seek out his company, why they wave at him from the other side of the room. He’s good at what he does, competent, capable, he knows how to be in charge of a situation without obtruding, and you feel such a strong pull towards this side of him you have to take a big swig from your beer bottle to hide how much this is affecting you. The last thing you need is him teasing you about it.

But before your behavior exposes your desires, he suddenly moves away, and you’re pulled after him, not so much in motion but in attention. He’s spotted someone, a woman, and he’s leaning down to press a light kiss to her right cheek before turning to you.

“This is Katie,” he introduces her, and there’s something in the way he says those three words that makes you pause. You smile at her as you shake her hand, but then your gaze flickers back to Javi who suddenly looks at you like he did in his kitchen six days ago, unsure yet with an edge of something more, something you can’t fully grasp, and then you know.

This is the woman. This is this girl at work that he thinks you’re going to like.

You turn your attention back to her to look at her, to see what he’s seeing. She’s shorter than both you, with long, brown hair that she wears in open waves. You think she has a winning smile and kind eyes, and you immediately want to get to know her better. She compliments your blouse, she makes a joke about something Javi did at work the other day, she’s even holding a bottle of your favorite beer. She seems to be all Javi promised her to be.

Then why is he looking at you so nervously, like a small boy bringing home a teacher’s note?

Javi introduces you as his girlfriend, and Katie doesn’t miss a beat before she says, “Oh, he’s told me a lot about you,” with one of the biggest smiles you’ve ever seen.

“He has?” you ask. You’re not fishing for compliments. You’re genuinely surprised, since you hadn’t expected him to be sharing his private life with his colleagues, much like he doesn’t share his professional one with you. The thought of him talking about you with this woman who is standing in front of you, makes you smile. You decide to tease him about it. “You two spend a lot of time together then?”

Katie’s smile flickers, if only for a short second. “No, it’s not –,” she starts, but Javi interrupts her before she can finish.

“Katie likes fishing,” he says.

It catches you completely off-guard, as does the look on his face. He raises a hand and lets his fingers run over his lips, something he always does when he’s nervous, while he waits for your answer.

“I do,” Katie says with an enthusiastic nod.

You have no idea what’s going on, but you decide to play along. “I go fishing with my dad whenever I’m in the States,” you tell them.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Katie exclaims, and it should, by all means, sound like something she’s only saying to be polite, but it doesn’t. Instead, it sounds like she means it. “Where are you from?”

“North Carolina,” you answer. It’s something you don’t talk about often because it’s not interesting. If you were from California or New York, people would follow up this revelation with questions and stories of their own. But North Carolina? You always feel a bit embarrassed about mentioning it.

But Katie’s reply is something you haven’t heard before. “You don’t sound like you’re from North Carolina.”

Maybe you should be offended – you don’t know what she’s implying with this – but for some reason it just makes you laugh. “Thanks,” you say.

“No, oh my God,” she backtracks immediately, “I didn’t mean to offend you …”

“You didn’t,” you assure her with a dismissive wave of your hand. You glance at Javi then, and he’s following your conversation like a cop watching his partner interrogate a suspect, like he’s afraid of missing just one syllable of what you are saying. His whole body is rigid, his hands are balled into fists at his side, and his face is a mask of pure concentration. “So,” you start again, turning back to Katie, “what has he been telling you about me?”

Several tables have been put together to stand along three walls of one of the biggest rooms in the restaurant. As you sit down and skim the menu, Katie answers your question. Javi speaks of you differently than most of their colleagues speak about their wives or girlfriends. When he talks about you, it doesn’t feel like he would rather do anything else than spend time with you. Quite the opposite, in fact. It makes your face grow hot. You try to distract yourself by ordering your meal, by changing the subject (“So, tell me, Katie, where are you from?”), by watching Javi talk to a middle-aged woman next to him, by watching Javi make her smile.

Katie tells you everything you want to know, answers all your questions in great detail, but always turns the attention back to you. When you ask her about her favorite music, she asks you about yours. When you ask her about her family, she asks you about yours. When you ask her what made her take a job in Colombia, she asks you about how you came to be here. It is a dialogue, not a monologue. She tells you about her brothers back home, about how one is a bank manager while the other went into environmentalism. She tells you she’s always wanted to go to Europe, and she hopes her next DEA assignment will finally get her there. She also tells you about her work for the DEA, about how she spends most of her days in the office, but also about how Javi took her along on a raid recently.

And you realize Javi was right. You do like her. She’s pleasant company, she’s educated but not in that stuck-up way most of Javi’s colleagues are. When you admit that you have no idea who the current Attorney General is, she doesn’t look at you like you just said you enjoy drowning kittens. She just brushes it off and changes the subject. When you tell her about a book you’ve been reading, she takes a small notepad from her bag and jots down the title and author, telling you she’ll check it out. And you truly believe she will.

When you’ve finished most of the food on your plate, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. You check your watch, surprised that it’s already this late. Your gaze wanders over to where Javi is now talking to two young men who hang on his every word. But he’s glancing at you, a question on his face. You mouth, “What?” but he just shrugs. If he’s still worried you won’t like Katie, he has no reason to. You’re having a very pleasant evening.

When Katie gets back, Javi glances between the two of you, running his finger over his lips again. You just smile at him and, with ease, pick up the conversation with Katie once more. Maybe you should talk to someone else for a change, but Katie doesn’t seem to be bored by your company either, so you have no desire to change anything about your current situation.

Towards the end of the night, you too find yourself in the bathroom. You’re tired, but pleasantly sated, yawning while you wash your hands. You can’t wait to curl up next to Javi tonight and tell him about how much you loved talking to Katie. But you’re also not quite ready for this night to be over yet.

When you step out of the bathroom, Javi is there, waiting for you in the cramped space of the dimly lit hallway. You jump, caught off-guard, but when he shoots you an awkward glance, you can’t help but giggle.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” he asks. He’s curling the fingers of his right hand into a tight fist and releases them again, over and over. It’s another one of his nervous ticks, one he does when he’s trying to relieve tension.

“Sure, what’s up?” you reply, trying to sound casual.

Javi looks nervous, so maybe you’ve fucked up. Maybe you did something or said something, and one of his colleagues saw or heard and complained to Javi about you. You swallow hard, trying to keep the smile on your face.

“Are you having fun?” he asks next.

“Yes, of course.”

“And the food?”

“Am I enjoying the food?” you try to clarify. “Sure.”

“And Katie? You like her?”

This makes you laugh. “Yes, I like her. What’s this about, Javi?”

He doesn’t reply, just shoots you a look, pregnant with meaning.

“What?” you ask, and finally stop smiling. “Do you want me to say I don’t like her?”

“No, no,” he says, too quickly. “I’m just –”

You interrupt him. “I know you’re nervous about me liking her, but you don’t have to be. She’s really nice.” He still doesn’t look convinced. “I’m gonna ask her if she wants to meet up for coffee.”

“There’s something …,” he starts before clearing his throat. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Do you want to get coffee with me?” you tease him.

“It’s about Katie,” he answers.

“Sure.”

He takes a deep breath and then breaks eye contact with you, focusing his attention on the wall behind you. “I would like to ask her to join us …,” he says very slowly, making sure you catch every word, “… in bed … tonight.”

Still, you’re not sure you’ve understood him correctly. “What?”

“Just if you want to,” he clarifies.

That doesn’t really answer your question, or any of the other, and there are a lot, but you don’t know where to begin. “Katie?” you say, trying to encompass everything you’re feeling with this single question.

You look past Javi to where she’s sitting, watching the people around her with interest. And then something drops – you’re not sure you’d call it a penny because it feels smaller than that, but you suddenly remember having talked about inviting someone into your bed to see what it would be like. The conversation happened a few weeks ago, after Javi had fucked you for what felt like hours. You had lost count of the number of orgasms you’ve had, but still he didn’t seem to be satisfied. You hadn’t thought much of it then. All you remember is agreeing to give it a try; your fucked-out brain would have agreed to anything. But you had no idea Javi already had someone in mind, you had no idea he’d brought it up thinking of Katie. And suddenly the tone he had used to talk about her in his kitchen a week ago sounds a lot different to you.

Javi’s silent, staring at you with his big, brown eyes, patiently waiting for an answer, while you’re trying to wrap your head around this proposition.

And your mind is racing. You did say yes to the idea of it when he asked you about it, but he just sprung this on you, and it’s so much more than an idea now, it’s a plan, one he’s fully prepared to set in motion. He’s talking about tonight, he’s talking about leaving here and taking her home with you and doing this … tonight. You haven’t been given a chance to prepare for this, you don’t know how you feel about it, how you’re supposed to feel, so you decide to try something.

“Would you like that?” you ask him.

He nods.

“Why her?” you want to know.

“I think she’s nice, pretty, …,” he answers with a non-committal shrug.

“I thought you wanted her to be my friend,” you remind him.

“Of course, I want that,” he’s quick to assure you. “I want you two to get along.”

You reach up to grab his tie then. “Javier, are you sure about this?” you ask with emphasis.

His eyes open wide at this. “Yes.”

You feel a familiar tingling between your legs at hearing his breath hitch. Before you let this go too far, you look over at Katie again and try to imagine her in bed between the two of you, but you can’t. You have no idea how you would even start thinking about this, so you focus on something else, something you’re familiar with, something steady: Javi.

“All right,” you agree. “But there’s some rules I want us to follow.”

“Is that a yes?” he asks and it sounds so incredulous you almost smile.

“Yes, just –”

But he crowds you against the wall, pushes you back against the bricks before you can finish the sentence.

“What –,” you start.

Then he kisses you in a way that’s meant for the privacy of your bedroom, not a public restaurant. You kiss him back tentatively because you don’t want to encourage him too much. He comes even closer, and you feel something brush against your leg.

A smirk spreads across your face. “Why didn’t you say something?” you ask between kisses.

“I am saying something,” he points out.

“Yeah, but sooner.”

He shrugs again, then goes in for another kiss. You hold him back.

“Javi, stop,” you say in a firm voice. “Just listen to me for a minute, okay?”

He nods.

“You have to ask her,” you insist. “I’m not doing it, all right?”

He nods.

“And I don’t …,” you lower your voice, “want you inside of her. Is that clear?”

He nods.

“I’ll be in charge,” you go on. “I’ll decide what we’re doing.”

The “fine” he gives you as an answer is accompanied by a deep rumbling in his chest.

“And she’s not staying over. I don’t care how late it gets, she’s leaving afterwards.” You feel like you need to set these boundaries if you want this to work.

“Can I take her home?” he asks.

“Yes,” you answer.

He licks his lips. “Yeah, okay.”

***

You’re in the car. Javi is driving, you’re next to him, watching the lights of the city drift by. Your heartbeat is louder than the sound of the engine, you expect Katie to remark on it any second now, to ask if everything’s okay. But she doesn’t. She’s talking about a book she’s reading, one you’ve also read (and loved) but you can’t bring yourself to hold a conversation. Katie doesn’t pick up on the shift in atmosphere, and if she does, she doesn’t comment on it. But you feel like there’s a deadly snake resting between your feet, one that will bite if you make a single wrong move.

There is a difference between talking about inviting Katie home with you in a room full of people where it’s just a theoretical concept and actually doing it.

Javi agreed to be the one to ask her. But he’s kept quiet so far. All he did was offer Katie a ride home, which she accepted with a big smile on her face. You glance over at Javi as he’s driving, his face alternating between being aflame in golden lighting and hidden in complete darkness. You can see the tension in his facial expression by the way he furrows his brow, but when he glances over at you there is something in his gaze – reassurance, yes, but also an edge of something you can’t quite put your finger on. You tell yourself his eyes are only this dark because your environment is. And suddenly you don’t feel like you’re in danger anymore; suddenly you want to exploit this situation, exploit the power it gives you over him.

You turn around to look at Katie, who’s sitting in the seat behind Javi. She just ended a long explanation about a character’s motivation by saying, “… you know,” and you nod to signal you’ve been listening, even though you haven’t.

If Javi doesn’t want to bring it up, you have to. Because the more you think about it, the more you want to do this, and you don’t want to rely on a man who can’t make the first move.

“Katie, I was wondering …,” you start, and immediately Javi’s right hand leaves the wheel, and his fingers dig into your thigh. You inhale sharply at the sensation but continue, “… are you seeing anyone?” Javi loosens his hold on you but doesn’t let go completely.

Katie shakes her head, then bites her lip bottom lip. “You know,” she says then lowers her voice, “I actually had my eyes on …,” she nods at Javi, “but please don’t think –”

You interrupt her. “No, please, Katie, it’s fine.” You smile at the man next to you, who shakes his head ever so slightly. “I completely understand.”

“Yeah,” Katie sighs and shakes her head so her hair tumbles down over one shoulder. “There are actually a few broken hearts at the office.”

That makes you laugh, if only because Javi looks utterly miserable. “I think he’s secretly enjoying that,” you whisper in a conspiratorial tone of voice.

Javi makes a sound of warning, one that tells you to shut up.

“Javi, I’m kidding,” you say with a light laugh. It’s only half the truth. You know him. You know he enjoys the attention.

Katie, too, starts to apologize, but you interrupt her again.

“Please, you have nothing to apologize for, he can take it.” You wonder if you should press your luck, if you should rile him up a bit more, and you decide it’s the right thing to do. “Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy the attention, Javi. Broken hearts … women pining for you …”

Javi makes another sound of warning. “It’s not like that,” he says through gritted teeth.

“What’s it like then?” you challenge.

Katie interrupts your stand-off before Javi can reply. “You guys, this is me, actually,” she says, pointing at the dark shape of an apartment building at the end of the block.

You turn around to face her again. “Katie, would you like to come up for a cup of coffee? Javi lives just down the street.”

“You sure?” Katie looks at Javi when she asks.

The knuckles on Javi’s hands are white from clutching the steering wheel.

“Of course,” you say, nodding eagerly.

“Yeah, all right,” Katie agrees.

You’re all quiet until you reach Javi’s apartment building. He gets out to open the garage door, then drives the car inside. You can’t help but notice that he still hasn’t asked, and you feel yourself getting nervous and antsy. If he doesn’t do it soon, you’ll definitely be the one to bring it up.

As soon as the car is parked, Katie gets out and shuts the door behind her with a dull bang.

Javi turns in his seat so he’s facing you. “What was that?” he asks.

“Ask her,” you tell him. “Now. Or I’m gonna do it.”

“What?” he snaps.

“I was trying to give you an opening,” you explain, as calmly as possible. Why does this have to be so complicated? “Like a scene partner, you know? Set up everything, so you can ask her.”

“Well, you weren’t doing a good job.”

“Gee, thanks,” you say, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“I’m gonna do it,” Javi tells you, his voice much softer now, “just give me time.”

“How much longer do you need?” you want to know. “She almost had us drop her off at her flat.”

“I’m doing it,” Javi sighs, “just … go away.”

All the tension in you leaves your body in one big wave and you smile softly at him. “Javi, are you nervous?”

He shoots you a stern look.

You raise your hands defensively. “All right, I’m going.”

You both get out of the car, and while you walk towards the exit to the stairwell, your steps echoing through the underground parking lot, you hear Javi say, “Katie, do you have a minute?”

You stop once you reach the door, lingering in the shadows, your eyes on Javi and Katie. You watch them talk, but you cannot hear what they’re saying; they’re too far away and standing too closely together for the sound to carry all the way to you. All you can tell is that he’s explaining something to her, and when he grows quiet, he cocks his hip, arms akimbo. Then he nods at you.

You have to admit you’re more nervous than you want Javi to know. So much could go wrong. What if she starts shouting at you? What if she storms off? She’s still Javi’s colleague, he would still have to work with her. What were you thinking? Why did you agree to this? Why didn’t you ask a complete stranger? It would certainly have made things a lot less awkward.

Katie is also looking at you, just for a moment, but it’s enough time for her to take you in, from head to toe, and then she looks back at Javi. She says something, something you can’t hear, and he nods. Then she nods, too.

***

You’re on Javi’s couch, Katie is sitting next to you, another bottle of beer in her hand, while Javi has made himself comfortable in an old leather armchair. You’ve been sipping on a glass of water for the past 15 minutes while you’ve been listening to them talk about work. Neither of you has mentioned anything about the proposition, and you have no idea how to bring it up again. Yes, you want to be in charge, but you had hoped Javi would do more than just ask. You had hoped he would initiate something … anything.

But instead, they’re both relaxed and at ease, talking about some new regulations that have been introduced recently, while you try to find a way into the conversation, while you try to find something more elegant than, “Well, anyway, do you guys wanna take this to the bedroom?”

Luckily, there’s only so much time you can spend discussing regulations on car safety, and soon a tense silence settles over the room, settles between you, waiting to be cut, to be torn apart, and you know that this is your chance.

“So,” you start, and immediately both Javi and Katie turn their heads to look at you. You take a sip from your water before continuing. “Katie, there’s some things –”

She interrupts you immediately. “I know, Javi told me. I’m fine with it.”

You take a deep breath. “Yes, I just want us to go over it one more time, to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

God, why do you sound so awkward? This isn’t supposed to be a business negotiation and yet it feels like one. You don’t want to alienate Katie by insisting on those rules, but you need something to hold on to once you get started.

“I’m gonna be in charge,” you say quickly. “I hope Javi mentioned that.”

“He did,” Katie confirms with a nod.

“And I want you to leave once this is over.” It sounds mean, but it’s too late to phrase it nicer now.

“Yeah, sure,” Katie says, her expression neutral. “No problem.”

“I’m open to trying anything,” you go on. “But the minute someone feels uncomfortable with something, we stop. All right?” You look at both of them for confirmation. They both nod. “I need a verbal confirmation, please.”

“Yes,” Javi says, “we stop.”

“Of course,” Katie agrees.

“And there’s one more thing,” you say, trying to work up the courage to address it. You know it’s silly to be nervous about it, especially since you all just agreed to be open with one another, and since Javi already knows about it, but you still feel apprehension at the thought of bringing it up.

“Yeah, I know,” Katie says before you can continue. “No penetration.”

She says it so matter-of-factly, in the same tone of voice she used to talk about the new regulations that suddenly you feel like there won’t be any problems at all.

“I’m fine with fingers,” you say quickly, “just not …”

“Yes, and I’m completely fine with that,” Katie assures you.

You have no idea how she does it, how she can sit there and talk about this without flinching. Maybe you’re the problem; maybe you need to relax more. You enjoyed your evening talking to Katie, you enjoyed getting to know here, so there is nothing to indicate you’re not going to enjoy this. Katie is certainly set on enjoying herself, judging by the way her eyes roam over Javi, practically undressing him with her gaze.

And suddenly, you don’t feel shy at all. You feel brave and bold, and entirely not yourself as you lean closer to Katie and, before you can change your mind, capture her bottom lip between your lips. Katie makes a surprised sound, but then her hand is at the nape of your neck as she pulls you close. You can taste the beer lingering on her lips as you pry them open with your tongue, and you feel her gasp softly against your skin, and you just know that this won’t be a problem at all. You feel bolder with each passing second, not breaking the kiss when you rest your hand against her thigh, and she’s not breaking the kiss when you move it higher up to cup one of her breasts. All that catches your attention is a sharp intake of breath somewhere behind you. Katie hears it, too, and it makes her break the kiss.

“So, where’s the bedroom?” she asks, putting down her beer.

***

Javi’s bedroom is dark, except for the occasional flicker of light from a passing car that illuminates the walls and the bed for a few short moments. Neither of you switches on the light as you enter. It is a quiet procession, slightly awkward, as if you all don’t quite know how to approach this. You still feel apprehensive, but this feeling is slowly being replaced by giddy excitement, by adrenaline and arousal mixing together to form a dangerous, explosive cocktail you long to control but you also want to see ignited. You try to breathe in deeply, slowly, but your throat feels tight as your heart beats loudly against your ribcage.

You want this, you have to remind yourself, and it’s not the act itself you’re thinking about, but what you discussed just a few minutes ago. You wanted to be in charge, you tell yourself as both Javi and Katie look at you, their faces hidden behind thick shadows.

Katie looks as nervous as you feel. You’re all new to this, but she’s not as used to hiding her emotions behind a solid mask as Javi is. She glances at you, then back at him, waiting for you to say something. Or for him to do something. You were so brave and determined in the other room, as if you knew exactly what you were doing. You were another person. But now this feels solid and real, not something you just talk about with Javi to see the heat in his gaze. They actually expect you to do something, to guide them, and you’re not sure you can do it.

Javi, ever observant, ever determined to look out for you, senses your insecurity. Of course he does, how could he not? He is focused on you, it feels like you’re the only person here who matters to him, like this is about you and no one else. He takes a step forward until he’s a hand's width away from you, then pulls you close into a deep kiss, one that leaves you breathless within seconds. His tongue is everywhere, and his teeth nip and bite at your lip and neck until all you can do is cling to the collar of his shirt to help you ground yourself. He pushes you up against the nearest wall until you’re trapped between two solid entities. You’ve never felt safer and more sheltered. Your initial insecurity blows off as you lose yourself in the attention he’s paying you. His hands are eager to explore, roaming across your chest, pulling open your blouse with so much force you hear one of the buttons hitting the floor somewhere. You don’t mind; all you want is for him to keep going.

He does, forcing you to spread your legs so he can push one of his strong thighs between them, and you obey willingly, while you press sloppy, open-mouthed kisses against the hot skin of his neck, against the bulging vein that protrudes when you let your fingers brush against his chest and stomach, trailing lower and lower, eager to reach their goal. Before they can, he pushes up his thigh and you grind down onto it, both of you moaning from the strain and the tension of it. You can feel your slick coating your underwear, you’re sure he can feel the heat through the fabric of both your trousers, and it only spurs him on – he takes a hold of your hips and urges you to keep moving. You do, your eyes fluttering shut, as your entire world is reduced to that sweet friction as you chase your pleasure, completely lost in the moment.

But then his mouth is right next to your ear and he whispers something, his voice raspy and raw, and your whole body trembles.

“Look at you,” he says, and you feel the words reverberating in his chest. “You want this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you breathe out in a whispered pant. “God, yes.”

He pushes up his thigh again and you let out a moan that fills the entire room.

His lips are still right next to your ear, you can feel his breath tickle your sensitive skin. “Can I kiss her?” he asks. “Will you let me?”

You can’t tell if it’s that he’s so close to you, so overwhelmingly close and solid and present, or if it’s the pleading edge to his voice when he asks you, but something makes you vibrate with desire and all you can do is nod quickly, your head connecting to the wall with a dull thud. You don’t even feel it.

He pulls you in for another kiss, taking his time with you, and you taste him, inhale his scent, drink him down, before you pull back with a soft chuckle. “Go,” you whisper, “she might get bored.”

“Yes,” he agrees, and presses another soft kiss to your lips. “I want you to take off your clothes, all right?” His thumb brushes over your cheek when he quickly cups your face. “Get comfortable …,” he hesitates, “… and if you want us to stop …”

“No!” you interrupt him. “No, please.”

The smirk spreading across his face is too cocksure for your taste, and while he’s turning away from you, you’re already trying to come up with a plan to get back at him.

Your skin still burns, it feels like your whole body, every cell, is on fire, your lungs struggle to draw in air to keep you alive. You’re sure you look like a mess, your fingers tingle and your legs shake, and you just can’t explain it, why he suddenly has this effect on you. You’re attracted to him, more than you’ve ever been to another man before, and he makes you feel so good whenever he touches you and fucks you, but this is new.

Your eyes never leave his back as he steps over to where Katie is standing completely still, as he pulls her close by her wrist, cups her cheek, his fingers tangling in her long hair, and then his lips are on hers, and she melts against him. You listen to her soft moans and his rough pants as they explore each other, and suddenly your body burns up with longing again, longing to be touched and kissed, longing to pull out those same sounds from someone else. You watch as he undresses her with adept hands, as he roughly cups one of her breasts and she mewls, satisfaction flashing across his face, as he shoves one hand between her legs, then turns to you with a satisfied grin.

He doesn’t have to say it. You know.

You hurry to get out of your clothes while Javi does the same. Katie is leaning against the wall, her body trembling, and you know how she feels, you know about the burning between her legs, about the heartbeat pounding in her ears. You’re all too familiar with the effects of his touch, his kisses, his filthy words whispered against sweat-slicked skin. But she’s been hit by it without a chance to prepare herself. When another car drives past, you get a glimpse of her flushed skin and the glimmer in her unfocused eyes, and yours flutter shut for a second in response as your hands curl into fists.

If this is what Javi gets to see when he touches you it’s not surprising he does it so often.

He takes your hand and leads you to the bed, helps you settle down comfortably. Katie follows, her gaze fixed on Javi’s hard cock, eyes wide.

“No,” he says, as if he can read her mind. “She’s first.”

It’s against your deal, against the rules you set for this to work. He shouldn’t be in charge, you should be, you should tell them what comes next, how to approach this. But when one of his hands grips your thigh and pulls so your legs spread and you hear a hissed breath as he looks at the evidence of your arousal slick and glistening between your legs, you lose all will to take charge. Instead, you let your head fall back and wait, wait for him.

And then there’s something else, too; Katie, on your other side, much smaller, less imposing, but there, smelling sweet and clean where Javi’s scent is heavy and choking. She settles down comfortably next to you, her body pressed against yours, and before you can get used to the feeling of her own arousal against your leg, she softly moves your head, so you look at her, and then she’s kissing you hungrily. Suddenly, her sweet scent is all you breathe and taste, her soft lips against your own ignite something deep within you, something you already felt back in the living room but which you pushed down for the time being because it wasn’t the right place. Now it is, and you pull back and push one of your legs between hers, watching how her jaw tightens, how her eyes open wide, and then she starts rolling her hips, coating your skin with her slick. You tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck and force her to look down, to watch herself, and when she does, you’re suddenly filled with two of Javi’s fingers, stretching you open.

A hoarse moan escapes your throat as he pulls them out again but immediately replaces them with three. You’re used to it, used to his thick, strong fingers stretching you, but you’re so wound up and on edge that it almost feels overwhelming. There are tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but then you feel Katie’s lips against your neck, and it brings you back down.

Somewhere above you, Javi huffs. “You’re so wet,” he says, his voice unbelievably deep and rough and it makes a shudder run through you from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You want to come up with a witty retort, but you can’t, not when you hear what he says next. “Do you want to feel her, Katie?”

“Can I?” Katie whispers against your neck, but before the question has left her mouth in its entirety, you’re already replying.

“Yes, fuck,” you moan, trying to push up your hips to take Javi’s fingers in deeper.

He grips you with his free hand and pushes you back into the mattress. And then you feel the much softer touch of Katie’s fingers against your stomach, stroking you soothingly. She even whispers a soft, “Shh,” against the shell of your ear, and you squirm in reply, but then she finds your clit and softly circles it, once, twice, and you go limp at the same time as she bites down on your neck to muffle a breathless, “Fuck.”

You share that sentiment. Her fingers feel nothing like Javi’s. They’re softer both in touch and pressure but combined with his three still buried deep inside of you, still fucking into you with wet, obscene noises, you feel like you’ve found Heaven on Earth. You’re close, every muscle in your body tenses, and you close your eyes with a deep groan.

Suddenly, Javi’s hand closes around your jaw and he pulls. “Look at me,” he demands. “I want to see you.”

Reluctantly, you open your eyes, but then you see it. Javi is looking at you like he usually does, with amazement and want, but there is also a different edge to it, something between unrestrained lust and uninhibited pride, and something like adoration too, and he’s never looked at you like that before. It’s enough to push you over the edge and you come with a hoarse cry, tightening around his fingers, pushing him even deeper into you, and this time Katie has to hold you in place with a firm grip as he continues to fuck you with three wet fingers, fuck you through your orgasm, the muscles on his arm taut with the effort.

Only when you hiss and try to move away does he stop. He leans down to press a soft kiss against your temple as you shudder and try to catch your breath. Katie’s hand moves up to stroke across your stomach in lazy circles, while she presses small kisses along the underside of your jaw. You swallow hard and close your eyes – you have never, never, felt like this after an orgasm; you feel so open and vulnerable with both of them doting on you like this, but you also feel safe and secure. The only thing that’s missing is a feeling of deep satisfaction, and you might have an idea how to achieve that.

“You all right?”

It takes you a moment to realize Javi has addressed you, but once this information registers with you, you nod slowly. “Just give me a second,” you answer, your voice raw. You clear your throat and the movement stings.

Did you scream? You probably did but you don’t remember.

Javi relaxes, sits up, and carefully pulls out his fingers. You hadn’t even realized they were still inside of you, and you hiss at the sudden feeling of emptiness. He only smirks at you, a lopsided grin that ignites another spark of desire deep in your belly.

“Lie down,” you tell him, your voice still hoarse and dry.

He looks at you, a question on his face.

“Come on,” you urge him, pushing yourself up on your elbows so you’re closer to him. “Lie down on your back.”

He does as he’s told, lying down on your right side next to Katie who’s still cuddled up to you, still trying to kiss your neck, your shoulders, anywhere she can reach. But your eyes are on Javi, and on the unreadable expression on his face. There is definitely some curiosity there, some inquisitiveness, and you haven’t forgotten – you haven’t forgotten about wanting to get back at him.

With a finger under Katie’s chin, you tilt her head up to kiss her, a slow kiss that quickly turns into something more. She grips your arm and holds on as you take your time with her, exploring her mouth, exploring all the ways you can make her sigh and whimper. By the time you pull away, she’s a quivering mess and you can’t blame her, especially not once you realize why her moans have grown louder and more desperate during the last few minutes.

Javi’s hand is between her thighs, and you see him move two fingers in and out of her at a leisurely pace. This sight – his thick fingers, the same ones that were buried so deep inside of you only minutes ago, now coated in her slick – makes you bite back a moan that’s trying to force its way out of your chest. You lock eyes with Javi as he pushes a third finger into her and she drops her head onto your shoulder with a strangled sigh; there’s a challenge in his gaze, one you’re ready to accept.

You run your fingers through Katie’s hair and watch Javi continue what he’s doing, listen to the obscenely wet sounds his movements make, and whisper soothing words to the woman by your side, whisper to her how good she is for you, how well she’s taking it, how pretty she looks on display for you like that. You know Javi can hear you, you see his cock twitch when you ask, “Would you like him to taste you?” and her breathlessly replying, “Yes.”

Javi moves to get up, but you quickly put a stop to this by shaking your head. “No,” you say, “we’re doing this my way.”

Yes, there’s definitely curiosity in his gaze, but you also don’t think his eyes have ever been this dark before.

You softly kiss Katie again, then say, “Hey,” in the quietest voice you can muster, giving the circumstances. “Look at me.”

Katie opens her eyes and gazes at you, her brow knit tightly, her eyes glazed over with lust. The sight makes you bite your lip, and her gaze immediately flickers down to where your teeth dig into the soft flesh.

“Are you all right?” you ask her.

She nods slowly.

“If there’s something you don’t feel comfortable with, just tell me.”

She swallows and nods again. You have a feeling she wants to say something but doesn’t trust her voice.

You nod too. “Get up,” you say, giving the softness in your voice an edge to show her this isn’t up for debate.

Javi slowly pulls his fingers out of her and you see her thighs quiver at the loss. You help her into a kneeling position.

“He’s gonna taste you now, all right?” you ask, making sure everyone is on board with what’s going to happen next. “I’m going to take care of him, so I don’t want you to worry about that. But you’re going to look at me the whole time.”

Her eyes widen as she realizes what you mean, and you hear Javi inhale sharply behind her. You let them find a position that is comfortable for them while you move to settle between Javi’s legs. His cock is an angry, red color and you cannot wait to feel the weight of it in your hand, to give him some of the relief he’s craving. He’s been so good for you – for the both of you –, he deserves to be taken care of. You let your eyes wander to the tip, to the drop of pre-cum that is inviting you to lean down and taste him, when you hear a deep groan vibrate through his entire body, so depraved and unrestrained it makes you look up.

Katie’s thighs are planted to the left and right of Javi’s head, his hands are digging into her soft flesh to spread them even further. Her head is thrown back in pure bliss as he licks up into her, holding her down so he can reach as much of her as possible. You’re completely mesmerized by the sight in front of you, by Javi’s face buried between another woman’s legs, by her arousal coating his chin, and it makes your own cunt clench with need. For a moment, just one brief moment, you consider abandoning your plan, taking him inside of you until you’re joined, connected, until nothing could pull you apart, and then fucking him until he spills inside you, moaning your name into Katie’s cunt.

But you don’t.

You take a deep breath, then wrap your hand around the base of Javi’s cock.

His moan of strained relief sends a jolt of pleasure through you.

You run your fingers up his length and swipe your thumb across the tip, collecting some of the pre-cum. As a response, he digs his nails deeper into Katie’s thighs and she cries out, a sound somewhere between pain and pleasure.

“He likes it rough, you know,” you say, circling the tip of his cock with your thumb lightly, casually, as if you were doodling a circle while talking to someone on the phone.

Katie’s eyes snap open and she looks at you, but you’re not sure she sees you. You don’t blame her. You’re well aware of what Javi can do with his tongue. You know what it feels like when he moans against your wet cunt, your swollen clit. In fact, you’re surprised Katie hasn’t come all over his face yet.

“Grab his neck,” you say, and cannot help but laugh lewdly when she immediately complies, her slender fingers closing around his strong, muscular throat. You watch as a vein at the base of his neck bulges, straining with effort, while he never once falters, while he continues to lick through Katie’s wet folds like she’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. “Go on then,” you say, your hand closing around the base of his cock again and squeezing, “don’t be shy – fuck his face.”

The way Katie follows your orders immediately, without hesitation, without the flicker of a doubt on her face, makes pleasure shoot through your veins. You swallow hard at the sight of her rolling her hips almost leisurely, her fingers still wrapped around his throat for purchase, while he drinks her down without complaint, a dark flush creeping up his chest and neck.

You’ve teased him enough.

You pump his cock once, twice, before settling yourself so you can wrap an arm around his leg, running your fingers through his coarse, dark hair, and then you finally allow yourself to taste him. You suck the tip of him into your mouth, letting his taste burst on your tongue, appreciating it like you would appreciate expensive wine. You take him in deeper, his heaviness familiar against your tongue, his taste sharp and strong, and he rewards you with a deep, dark growl, with low moans, with clipped sighs. One of his hands find its way to the nape of your neck to push you down further, and you let him. He’s been patient enough – he’s allowed to take for a while.

But there’s something else, too, another noise, one you usually don’t hear when you do this: the wet sound of his tongue against Katie’s center, her quiet gasps mixed with his strained huffs. You can feel yourself get impossibly wet at hearing them, at hearing this ambient noise all around you, and you let out a moan of your own before hollowing your cheeks to take even more of him in your mouth until his tip brushes against the back of your throat and you feel tears sting at the corner of your eyes.

Javi lets out a low growl and pushes his hips up. You hold him down, try to restrain him, but his muscles tense, his breathing gets ragged and then ….

You hear it, a quiet gasp, and look up. Katie’s eyes are on you, her face is flushed, she looks like she’s burning up, and it takes you a moment to realize what is happening until you notice she’s stilled completely, and her hands have left Javi’s neck and are braced against his broad chest, her nails digging into his flesh, leaving angry marks. She’s coming, she’s coming all over his face, while he continues to lick her with the most obscenely wet sounds you’ve ever heard. She doesn’t even have time to call out or shout his name because she’s so overwhelmed, taken completely by surprise, and you are, too. All you can do is sit up and watch her, brushing the loose strands of hair from her face, as she comes completely undone without a single sound.

You don’t give her much time to catch her breath, neither of you do. With a firm grip, Javi pushes her off him and you immediately set the next step of your plan in motion.

“Do you want to return the favor?” you ask her.

Her eyes grow wide, and it feels like she’s unable to speak, but she nods eagerly. You can see her heartbeat, a quick pulsing in her neck, tempting you, and you lean forward to kiss it.

“Go on then,” you whisper against her skin.

You swap places; she settles herself between Javi’s legs and you lie down next to him. He looks like a mess. His chest is rising and falling rapidly like he’s just finished running a marathon. There are marks all over the skin, and his cheeks are flushed. His eyes are glazed over, and his curls are damp with sweat, sticking to his forehead. You run your fingers through them, trying to smooth them back. He wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, drawing your eyes lower to his mustache that’s impossibly darker.

The urge to kiss him becomes unbearable.

When you do, he doesn’t taste like himself. There is another taste mixed in there, one that is foreign to you, and you bite down on his lip possessively when you taste it. He lets out a low growl and bucks his hips, drawing your attention downwards.

Katie looks up at the both of you, tears in her eyes. She’s doing her best, but you know how it is, you know that Javi’s size can be overwhelming at first. You decide to help her, to make this as enjoyable as possible for both of them.

“He likes a firm hold at the base,” you say.

Katie’s fingers close around his cock in a firm grip and Javi hisses, his breath fanning across your neck.

“Good girl,” you praise. You don’t know where this is coming from, but Katie’s eyes flutter shut and Javi’s chest rumbles with a desperate purr and you know you’ve said the right thing. “Use your tongue more,” you continue, “and try to get out of your head … he likes it sloppy.”

Katie’s tongue darts out to lick along the underside of Javi’s cock, from base to tip, before she takes him in her mouth again, doing her best to hold him steady. She doesn’t break eye contact with you and it’s only when you nod encouragingly that she lets him fall from her mouth with a wet plop, a trail of spit connecting her to his tip.

“Yeah, that’s better,” you tell her. “Keep that up and he won’t last long.”

You turn your attention back to Javi who looks at you with eyes impossibly dark. If there was a source of light in the room, you’re sure you’d be able to see your reflection in them. You grip a tuft of hair at the top of his head and hold him in place.

“Is this what you wanted?” you ask him, whispering the words into his ear, against his hot, flushed, sweat-slicked skin.

He nods, nothing more.

“I want to hear you say it,” you urge him on.

When he answers you with words, you hear why he was trying to communicate non-verbally. The “yes” he gives you is a hoarse, deep, desperate sound. You had no idea his voice could sound like this, could sound so wrecked, so taut, so pleading. You kiss him, and he kisses you back with such urgency, like a drowning man coming up for air.

You’re drunk, drunk on this power you have over him, drunk on being in charge of his pleasure while not even touching him, and you feel the desire to exploit this, to push him as far as he’ll let you without breaking him. You kiss him back, holding him in place with the fingers in his hair, while you listen to Katie moan around his cock. He moans, too, and his hips twitch, and you know he’s close, one fist tangled in the bedsheets, the other holding on to your arm.

“Katie, stop,” you say.

She does immediately, thinking there’s something wrong. Javi groans in frustration, his hips jerking upwards to chase that bit of friction from Katie’s hand still wrapped around him.

“Change of plans,” you tell them.

“No, please.”

You don’t recognize Javi’s voice. If you wouldn’t have seen his mouth move, you wouldn’t have known it was him who had just spoken.

“Please, querida.” He’s trying to convince you, he really is, knowing you usually can’t resist him when he calls you that, but you can, you have to this time.

“There’s something I want to try,” you tell him, letting your fingers run down his chest. “You said I could decide what we’re doing.”

“Yes, you can, but please …”

“If you do as I say …,” you say slowly, swallowing hard, “you can fuck me as hard as you want.”

He thinks this is hard for him, but it’s nothing compared to how hard this is for you. You’re sure you could come from hearing him say two more words in that voice of his. Luckily, he shuts his mouth and nods, determination on his face.

You sit up. “Katie, come here.” You beckon her close with a wave of your hand. “Lie down next to him.” Katie does as she’s told, glancing at Javi whose eyes are fixed on you. “Make sure his hands stay where you can see them. He’s not allowed to touch himself.”

“Yes,” Katie says, her voice hoarse.

You allow yourself to give her one kiss, just one, before you frame her chin with your thumb and index finger and turn her face so she’s looking at Javi. Where Javi’s skin is burning, Katie’s is cool to the touch when you let your hands run down her sides and over the taut plane of her stomach. She sucks in a quiet breath as you brush your fingers over her thighs, over the mound of hair between them, and then you touch her.

Your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, at feeling her soft, warm, wet center. You run your fingers through her drenched folds, you listen to her gasps and whimpers, you hear Javi’s voice, too, but you can’t understand what he’s saying. And then, with a shallow breath, you push one finger into Katie. You feel her clench around you, you hear her whisper your name in surprise, but you’re too mesmerized by the sight of your digit vanishing between her folds to look at her.

You get it. You get it now. You know, you understand why Javi loves doing this to you.

When you add a second finger and pick up the pace, Katie moans loudly, but still not loud enough to drown out Javi’s aroused grunt. You finally lift your head to look at them both, at Javi, whose mouth hangs open, who has a look on his face like he’s trying to solve an unsolvable puzzle, and at Katie, who’s doing her best to keep her gaze on Javi, but whose eyelids flutter dangerously.

You shift positions and then your face is level with Katie’s weeping cunt. You pull out your fingers, grab her thighs in a tight grip, and give her one experimental lick, just a taste, just a sample. It’s so different from what Javi tastes like, it’s less heavy, less prominent. You try it again. And again.

Katie is a whimpering mess by now; one of her hands is resting against the top of your head; what the other one is doing, you don’t know. All you can focus on is the feeling of her against your tongue as you suck on her clit. That makes her scream, and you do it again, until her voice is hoarse.

Then you hear Javi. “You like that?” he asks, and you think he’s talking to you, but when you lift your eyes, you see he has Katie’s face in a tight grip, forcing her to look at you.

Katie nods.

“Tell her,” Javi demands, tightening his grip.

“Fuck,” Katie moans, and for you, this would have been enough, but not for Javi.

“You can do better than that,” he coos.

“It – you feel so good,” Katie tries. “God, I … more, please.”

“What do you need?” Javi asks. “Tell her.”

“Can I have … I just need … a finger,” Katie answers, her face and chest impossibly red, her expression open and vulnerable, her eyes glazed over. “I just want something to come on.”

You pull away for a second, a smirk on your face. “You can have two,” you say, before shoving two fingers inside her. You feel her tense around you, pulling you in deeper, and when you put your tongue back on her clit, she lets out the filthiest, most desperate moan you’ve heard her make all evening.

She didn’t moan like that when Javi was between her legs.

“Do you want to come?” you hear Javi ask her, and a strangled sound is the reply. “That good enough for you?” he asks you.

“No,” you say between licks.

“You heard her,” Javi goes on. “Try again.”

“Please …,” Katie whimpers. “I need to …”

You push your fingers impossibly deeper into her and she tightens around them with a hoarse scream, over and over, while you suck her clit into your mouth again with a filthy sound. She tries to pull away then, but you hold her in place with your free hand.

“No,” you say, your voice breathy. “Another one.”

Javi lets go of Katie’s face and shifts on the bed. Your eyes flicker to him, but he’s keeping his promise so far.

“Think you can do it?” he asks Katie.

“I don’t know,” she answers.

“You can,” you tell her. “Just keep an eye on him.”

You’re on thin ice, you know that. There’s only so far Javi will allow you to push him. But you feel drunk on the power you hold not only over him, but also over Katie. Her legs tremble when you drag your tongue through her wet folds again, her muscles twitch, and her hips push upwards. You hold her down, then repeat the movement with your tongue before pushing the tip of it into her. Katie’s head falls back with another loud moan, and this time you let her roll her hips against your mouth before pulling away.

The desperate whimper she makes cloaks your mind in a hazy, filthy mist of lust.

“Tell me, Katie,” you start, lazily pushing the tip of your finger into her, “who’s better? Me or him?”

You don’t look at her as you say it, you look at Javi. He holds your gaze, his expression unreadable, but there is something in his eyes, something that reminds you of a gathering storm.

“You,” Katie breathes out. “You, fuck!”

And then the storm breaks loose in Javi’s eyes. You see the lightning, hear the thunder, you feel the electricity prick at the back of your neck. You shouldn’t have asked Katie this question, you shouldn’t have provoked him like this, but here you are. There no taking it back now.

Even as you turn your attention back to Katie, even as you taste her cunt once more, you know he’s watching you. You feel his heated gaze, you feel something simmer just beneath the surface. As long has Katie moans and writhes beneath you, you’re safe. Javi won’t make his move. But as soon as Katie comes, you will have to pay.

And she does, eventually. She pushes her hips up, pressing your face against her with a firm grip at the back of your head, and you feel her come all over your tongue and chin with quiet shouts of pleasure.

Before you have time to collect yourself, before you have time to sit up or catch your breath, Javi is behind you. You don’t even see him move, you only realize he’s changed position when you feel the heat of his body against your back, when you feel his fingers on your sides, when you feel him slam into you. The sheer force of it pushes you up the bed until you’re right above Katie’s dazed face. You hold on for dear life, your fingers gripping the bedsheets, as Javi fucks you with so much force you can feel him everywhere. You don’t even have enough air left in your lungs to cry out, all you can hear is his skin against yours and his low grunts as he’s finally taking what you’ve denied him for so long. There is nothing you can do but let him.

You know you won’t last long, neither of you will. But when you feel Katie’s fingers against your clit, when you look into her eyes and see her bite her lip in concentration, it’s too much. The contrast between Javi fucking you at a punishing pace and Katie’s soft touch, almost like a caress, loosens something within you before your entire body tenses up. Something is happening to you that you cannot quite explain. You feel yourself grow unbelievably wet, so wet Javi slips out of you completely for a second but pulls you back onto him with a rough tug, and then you hear Katie moan out a low, “Shit”. You bury your face in the crook of her neck, feeling wrung out yet taut at the same time. It’s so overwhelming you feel like you’re about to explode, like you cannot keep going, but they don’t stop. Javi has an arm slung around your stomach as he holds you in place, Katie has your hip in a firm grip while she circles your clit with a movement that’s enough to keep you on edge but not push you over it. Javi has grown completely quiet, and you know exactly why; you know what his face looks like even though you can’t see him, you know he’s about to come from the way his muscles twitch against your back. But you don’t know if you can give him what he wants, if you can come on his cock buried deep inside you, his cock that sends jolt after jolt of rough pleasure through you. You’re too overwhelmed, you won’t be able to let go.

But then, your face still buried in Katie’s neck, you hear her say, “Come for us,” and that’s all it takes. You do, your muscles closing around Javi’s cock like a vise, while you bite down on the soft skin of Katie’s shoulder, trying to muffle the scream that tears itself from an undiscovered place within you, so well hidden, so deeply buried you had no idea it existed. And while you feel wave over wave of pleasure rush through you, you also feel Javi flood you in wave over wave of hot release, his body completely still, holding you in place until he’s done.

He pulls out of you with a wet sound, and you immediately sink down next to Katie, spent and exhausted and more tired than you’ve ever felt in your life. Katie kisses your cheek, your temple, your lips, anywhere she can reach, while Javi gets a wet cloth from the bathroom to clean you up. The second to last thing you remember is Javi joining you on the bed again, his strong arms wrapping around you, whispering soothing words.

The last thing you remember is taking Katie’s hand into yours and saying, “Stay.”

***

It’s early morning, the street outside Javi’s flat is still quiet, and you yawn as you lean against his arm, a cup of coffee in your hand.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for breakfast?” you ask Katie as you watch her put on her shoes.

“Thank you, but I have a lot of work to catch up on,” she rejects your offer again with a smile. “Another time maybe?”

“Do you want to grab coffee sometime?” you ask her.

“Sure!” she exclaims excitedly. “Anytime.”

“I’ll give you a call, okay?”

She nods, then pulls you away from Javi and into a tight hug. “It was lovely meeting you,” she says, her arms still slung around you. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” you say, before pulling away.

Katie turns her attention to Javi. “Thank you,” she says. For what exactly, she doesn’t reveal.

Javi, his hair still messy from sleep, wearing nothing but an old pair of boxers, looking exhausted and tired, still manages to smile at her. He leans down and presses a kiss against her cheek. She presses a kiss against his lips.

“See you,” she says, meaning both of you.

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña #agent peña x reader #agent peña x you #javier peña x reader x katie #javier peña x you x katie #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #i know this is long it was supposed to be 5k max #never in my life was i this nervous about posting something #i'm just idk a soft bitch or something

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flightlessangelwings · 3 years

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Control

Comandante Veracruz x afab!reader (smut with no pronoun use, no y/n)

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: smut (18+ only), lingerie, protective!Veracruz, a little bit of sub!Veracruz (until he’s had enough, then back to dom!Veracruz), unprotected sex, teasing, slight nipple play, this is actually soft for V here lol

Request from anon: I love your Veracruz x reader series (I mean that man is just too 🥵) I was wondering could you maybe write (if you’re not too busy 🥺) one where the reader suprises Veracruz in some racy lingerie and tries to take control and vercruz just turns the tables on the reader and takes control - thank you 💓

Notes: Thanks so much for the request, anon and I’m sorry this took so long! I had a LOT of fun writing this one so I hope y’all enjoy it!! Also thank you to my V partner in crime @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa for some inspo for this one!

gif by @life-or-something-like-lt (unf that look on his face ��)

The door to your apartment burst open as Veracruz let himself in with the set of keys you gave him. The sun had just set on a long day for the comandante, and all he wanted was you underneath him to work out all his pent up frustrations. He called out your name only to be met with silence and emptiness of the apartment. After he shrugged off his leather jacket and boots he called your name again, but again he was met with silence.

Veracruz clenched his jaw as he suddenly went on high alert. The space looked untouched, but he couldn’t help but think about the last time he entered your apartment and was met with silence. His heart pounded in his chest as anger and adrenaline rushed through his system. He couldn’t live through the nightmare of you being taken again. Not when he took so many precautions to keep you safe.

“Cariño?” Veracruz called out as he moved swiftly through your apartment towards your bedroom.

It wasn’t until he got closer to the back of your living space that he heard movement from the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom and Veracruz let out a heavy breath of relief. Before he reached the closed door to your bedroom, the comandante collected himself and put on more of a serious face. He didn’t want to let the rush of emotions show on his face. But when he opened the door, a brand new rush of emotions flooded his body.

You had just emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a skimpy piece of lingerie. It was new; he hadn’t seen it before, and Veracruz froze in the doorway as he took in the sight of you before him. Your skin glistened in the low light of the room, which told Veracruz you had just come out of the shower. And he now knew why you didn’t hear him at first. Every word that was on his tongue evaporated as you leaned against the doorway in the sexy little lace lingerie that barely covered your body. It also didn’t go unnoticed that you didn’t have any panties on either.

“You alright, V? You look...” you didn’t know what word to use. He looked flustered, but there was something else there too. Was it relief?

Before you found the right word, Veracruz crossed the room in a flash. He grabbed onto your hips as he pulled you flush against his body. He didn’t answer with his words, but captured your lips with his in a heated kiss instead. When you moaned into his mouth and deepened the kiss, he tightened his grip on you and dragged your body back towards your bed.

Just as he was about to spin you around to push you into the mattress, you turned the tables on the comandante. You stopped him as he tried to shift your body and in his momentary confusion, you pushed him down onto his back on your bed. He looked up at you with confusion in his eyes and a snarl on his lips, but you weren’t intimidated.

“Let me this time… Comandante,” your voice was low and dripped with lust as you straddled his waist and held tightly onto his wrists. You felt the tension in his arms and his hands were balled into tight fists, but you were determined to get him to loosen up.

Veracruz growled your name in a warning but was hushed when you kissed him again. At first, he wanted nothing more than to flip you over and turn the tables back on you. But the more you kissed him and rocked your hips against his, the more he was content to stay pinned underneath you. For now at least. His fists unclenched slightly and you felt the tension in his body dissipate.

You grinned into the kiss as you slowly grinded your hips against Veracruz’s. When you broke away for a breath, you kept your eyes on his face for every little reaction your movements had on him. You could tell he tried to fight it, but he secretly enjoyed the feeling of your body on his. And his hardening length under your pussy also gave him away.

"Can I trust you to be good?" your voice was soft and earnest as you leaned forward and hovered your lips over his.

When the comandante whispered a soft "yes" in response, you took his lips with yours again in a more needy kiss.

You trailed a line of kisses down his neck just like he liked to do with you. While your mouth worked his skin, you released your grip on his wrists and moved your hands to unbutton the front of his shirt. You were desperate to feel more of his bare skin against your body, and you could tell from how he strained underneath you that the feeling was mutual.

Veracruz took full advantage of his free hands and immediately grabbed into your hips again, desperate for a little sense of control without breaking his promise to you. Although, if he was honest with himself, you were the one person he wouldn’t mind giving up some control for. Your actions and how you spoke to him told him that you didn’t see him any differently for showing just a hint of vulnerability. The comandante was always a force to be reckoned with, in his life, his military career and sexually, and it took a lot for him to allow your actions. But he trusted himself in your hands.

It was as if you read his mind, because you broke away and sat upright to look into his dark eyes. The two of you stayed still and silent for several moments, as if you could tell what the other thought. It was an unspoken moment of intimacy that you were all too familiar now with Veracruz. But just as quickly as it started, the moment vanished and suddenly you both felt filled with need and desperation.

Veracruz used the leverage of his hands on your hips to lean you forward and captured your lips in a more heated kiss. While your tongues danced together, you frantically clawed at the buttons of his shirt in desperation. Neither of you broke away from the passionate kiss as you ripped open his shirt and you couldn’t help the short laugh into his mouth as you felt a button or two hit your skin. He didn’t even notice.

You broke away and your breath caught in your throat when the comandante’s chest was completely exposed to you. There was something about him at this angle that made him more enticing to look at. You shrugged his shirt back in an attempt to remove it, but Veracruz did not make it easy for you. If you wanted to be on top, you had to earn it. He kept his body flat against the bed and used his strength to keep you from fully removing his shirt. He let out a low growl as he grit his teeth in amusement at your growing frustration. It was his way of keeping some control over you.

But you gave up and left his shirt open and instead trailed your hands along his chest. Veracruz couldn’t help the involuntary hiss when your fingers grazed over his nipples. You smirked down at him through half lidded eyes. But as you were about to tease him more, a stern look of warning stopped you in your tracks. He allowed your actions this far, and you didn’t want to push your luck so you decided to move your hands down his stomach and shifted yourself down to unfasten his belt.

That rush of need swept through you again and you were much smoother and faster in opening his belt and pants. Once you got a good grip on them, you looked up and gave Veracruz a stern look on your own. He flashed a half smile and lifted his hips for you and allowed you to remove his pants completely. He couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed watching you so desperate and heated for him and the thought crossed his mind that giving up control for you wasn’t so bad.

It didn’t take you long to reposition yourself on the comandante’s hips again after you discarded his pants on the floor. You kept your hands on his chest for leverage while you rocked your pussy along his length. He groaned at your touch as he gripped your hips so tightly that you were sure would leave marks. But you didn’t care; you wore marks from your comandante with pride.

You picked up your pace and rocked against his cock harder and faster, and you felt yourself get wetter and wetter the more you moved against him. Veracruz tried to resist the urge to give in to how good it felt when you worked him, but you were his weakness. He couldn’t deny your touch and growled in pleasure as he bucked his hips up against yours which pulled a loud moan from your lips. That pulled a grin from you; it was your one goal to get him to relax and let his inhibitions go, and you accomplished just that.

But soon, you both wanted more, and you could tell from the fire that burned behind the comandante’s eyes that he needed to be inside you. You had teased him enough, and you both knew it. Without a word needed, you gave him a nod and a smile through your own half lidded eyes as you lifted your hands up off his chest to tug at the lingerie that still adorned your body.

“Wait,” he growled and you froze, “Leave it on,” he commanded. Veracruz usually preferred you naked and bare, but there was something about seeing you in the sexy little piece that really set something off in him and drove him wild. Especially with how enticing you looked on top of him.

With a nod, you bit your lip and lifted your hips to line himself up with your entrance. Veracruz never took his eyes off of you as you slowly inched down into his cock. Your mouth fell open and your eyes fluttered shut as you felt the familiar stretch of him again.

“Eyes on me cariño,” Veracruz’ voice was low, but just loud enough for you to hear.

His voice went right to your core and you only felt yourself get wetter at his instruction. It took a lot of willpower, but you opened your eyes and kept them on his as you lowered yourself onto his cock agonizingly slowly. He let out a deep growl as he watched himself disappear inside you, and the warmth of your cunt around him was more than welcome.

Both of you exhaled deeply when your hips met Veracruz’s and he was fully sheathed inside you. You took his wrists in your grip and covered your breasts with his large hands. Veracruz’s eyes blew wide as he gave you a hard squeeze and rolled your nipples between his fingers through the fabric of the lingerie. As a reward, you lifted your hips a little and crashed yourself back down on his cock.

You couldn’t help the moan that you let out and you quickly picked up your pace. He moved his hands from your breasts down to your hips again to help guide your body. Veracruz growled as he watched his cock disappear inside you over and over again. He finally got the stress release he chased since he entered your apartment. And you were more than happy to be that release for him.

It didn’t take long for you to feel tired and you slumped forward a bit and rested your hands on his chest. You felt his eyes on you as his hands squeezed your hips in a silent question. When you lifted your gaze to meet his, you could practically feel the need within Veracruz to flip you over and just pound into you like he always liked to. But you wanted to make him feel good your way for just a little bit longer.

Instead of lifting your hips again, you clenched your inner muscles around his cock, and you grinned when he let out a loud groan. Clearly he did not expect you to do that.

“Does that feel good, comandante?” you asked in your most seductive voice.

His answer came with just an affirmative grunt.

You clenched your muscles again as you dug your nails into his chest, “What about this?"

Veracruz growled your name as he ran his hands up and down your sides. He stopped to give your breasts another firm grasp before his hands ran down your body again. You whined at his touch and involuntarily gripped his length at the action. That was what drove the comandante over the edge and he couldn’t take it anymore.

In one swift movement, Veracruz wrapped his arms around your waist and flipped you over so what you were on your back. He stayed inside you throughout the entire movement as he found himself on top of you, just like he liked it. And the cry you let out only spurred him on as the action drove his cock even deeper inside you.

Veracruz wasted no time and pounded into you with his usual fast, relentless pace. He hiked one of your legs up as he watched your breasts swing underneath the lingerie as he pounded into you. And the sounds of your cries and moans that filled the room only turned him on even more.

He wrapped his arm around the leg that he had propped up on his shoulder and rubbed furiously at your clit. He grunted at the way you arched your back for him. Your hands gripped into the sheets as if you would fly off the bed if you let go. Maybe you would have, but there was no way Veracruz would let that, or anything, happen.

“Does that feel good, cariño?” Veracruz mocked your question from earlier as he thrusted into you. When you just moaned in response, he spoke again, “Answer me,” he growled as he pushed himself inside you as deep as he could get and stayed still as he watched for your answer.

“Yes… V… Fuck...”

Satisfied, Veracruz resumed his pace and rubbed your clit even harder, determined to make you cum. It didn’t take long for your climax to wash over you and you came with a loud scream. Your entire body trembled as you tugged at the sheets so hard they almost ripped. But the comandante didn’t stop and just as he fucked you through your first orgasm, a second one immediately washed over you.

You screamed his name as you came twice more, all the while Veracruz did not let up at his pace. It wasn’t until you thoroughly soaked his cock that the comandante finally let his own release take him over. With a snarl, he came deep inside you and groaned your name as he rode out his own climax on your body.

Spent, Veracruz collapsed down onto you and stayed with his body covering yours for several moments. Maybe it was the fact that he gave up control for a time, or the fact that he thought you were taken when he first entered your apartment, but he just wanted to feel your body underneath his for a little bit. But when you let out a groan, he knew he had to get up and slowly, Veracruz pulled out of you and dropped down next to you.

You didn’t even open your eyes when you nuzzled yourself into his embrace and you smiled warmly when you felt his arm wrap around your body protectively. Veracruz always managed to pull several orgasms from you, which you never thought was possible. Yet you wouldn’t complain; he always made you feel so good and the exhaustion was more than worth it. So it didn’t take you long to fall asleep tucked safely and securely in his arms.

Veracruz, however, stayed awake and just watched as you slept soundly. You were soft and warm against his body, and it was a feeling that the comandante never thought he would ever feel. He knew you bought the lingerie to surprise him and fire him up, and boy it sure worked. You looked so delicious in the little piece, and he found that he was more attracted to you than ever when you rode him while wearing it. Perhaps Veracruz would be willing to relinquish control for you again in the future… but he’ll never admit it out loud or outright ask for it. He just hoped that you would be in the mood to do so again, and sooner rather than later.

“Rest now cariño,” he mumbled softly against your scalp, “You earned it,” Veracruz placed a soft kiss to the top of your head. He listened to the sound of your breathing for some time and it wasn’t until he was satisfied that you were there and safe in his arms that he let himself fall asleep as well.

#comandante veracruz #comandante veracruz x reader #comandante veracruz imagine #comandante veracruz x y/n #comandante veracruz x you #Burn Notice The Fall of Sam Axe #pedro pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal characters

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morgansunflower · 3 years

Text

Mommy Was Kissing Batman 1/2

Bruce Wayne/Batman X Wife!Reader

Words:1535

Warnings:heavy angst, suggestive content

Batman and Batmom are separated after he kept one too many secrets from his wife. After Batmom is needed at the police station she asks her husband for help. Their four year old daughter sees something that scares her. Batman's lips locked on her mommy's unknown to whom is behind the mask.

Bruce's P. O. V

I sat on my chair in the Bat-cave. I hold Y/N's wedding ring that she threw at me. She took our daughter with her. I deserved such. I didn't tell her that, Jay was alive. It took time, she forgave me. I didn't deserve that. Then when she discovered I knew, Grayson was alive. She threw her ring at me giving it back and threw word's that stabbed me to my core. I've avoided our bedroom completely. I don't even want to think of stepping into my little girl's room. I am so scared she'll never forgive me. I feel vulnerable from the nightmares that plague my slumber.

Y/N's P. O. V

I sigh deeply staring at my phone. I had just got a call from, Jim. He had gotten injured and is off duty for the rest of the day. I am needed back at the station. I know, Bruce can be here within seconds. Though I am so angry. D/N, misses him. I take a shaky breath and call my husband. He swiftly answered.

-"are you and D/N safe? Are you both ok?"

"yes we're OK" I quickly answered feeling a deep feeling that he still loves me "look this isn't easy.. Jim called me and said their shorthanded at the station" I sigh deeply this is so hard "I'll only be gone for a few hour's.. Can you watch D/N?"

-"I'll be there in five"

"ok" I swiftly hang up before any conversation could go further

"mommy.." I turn seeing my little girl rubbing her eyes and holding her stuffed bat toy

"hey sweetheart.. How are you? Did you get a good night sleep?"

She nodded yawning I pick my sleepy daughter up.

"are we going home today?" she asked with a begging eyes that make my heart sink.

"not today sweetie but guess what?"

"what?" she asked with a little smile

"your daddy is coming to spend the day with you!" I cooed

"he is?! Really! I'm gonna wear my dress!"

I chuckled "what dress?"

"the dress daddy said that I looked like a princess!" she exclaimed

I laugh at her amusement and kiss her cheek. As I put her down she ran into her room. I step to my room and shut the door sighing. It's in this moment Bruce would steal a kiss from me. I dress into my police uniform. As I finish dressing. I hear the door bell ring. I step out of my bedroom seeing my little girl in her dress. She was adorable.

"is that daddy? I missed him so much!"

"I believe so" I said

I open the door seeing my husband. He softly smiled to me. I look away from him to our daughter.

"daddy!!" she exclaimed "you're here!"

"hello my dear" he picks her up and she squeezes his neck. I see Bruce's face soften

"I'll be back soon" I kiss my daughter's forehead "bye sweetheart"

"bye mommy" she said with a sweet smile

I glance to Bruce wanting to kiss him. I can't do this. I turn to leave.

"Y/N" he said with gentle tone

I turn facing him with a, saddened smile "yes" I asked

"stay safe"

I nodded and left my husband and, daughter. After taking a drug cartel down I stood in my office. It was a large for being the Assistant chief of police. I was given the private office after my promotion. I look at the picture frames. One picture of Grayson and I when he was twelve. I remember that day perfectly he had begged 'Aww c'mon Y/N well have fun!' I answered 'uh no you'll have fun getting me flustered in front of Bruce'. For two people to know each others cores and feel attracted to each other. Then to attempt to not fall in love with that person and then you realize, you see that you have already failed miserably. I haven't seen Grayson in 6 months and 5 day's. He wasn't mine by blood but I loved him just the same. I see a, reflection on my window. My heart physically jumps, and my breath hitches. I fear my eyes are deceiving me. I lift my head seeing glass double doors and then gasp breathing in shock seeing my little boy. I quickly stood up and rush to him. He opens the door and steps inside. I put my shaking hands on his cheeks.

"m-mom-m" he brokenly said

I began to stutter. I put pressure on his shoulders and gently shook my head.

"oh, son!" I tightly hugged his neck wanting to cry

He wraps his arms around me "it's good to see you Mom"

"oh Grayson" I mumbled "dammit" I kiss his head running my fingers through his hair, I cup his cheeks looking at his face "are you trying to give me grey hairs?!"

"I'm so sorry Mom" he said with a brittle voice, my heart sinks

To hear him say 'mom' to me again is something I was so scared I'd never hear from him again. I hold him close and gently rock him side to side, as if he was still my little boy. He kisses my temple.

"don't--" I feel my words choking as I nearly sob "e-ever" I couldn't continue but he knew what I meant

He nods "I know" he said genuinely hurt "please don't hate me or Bruce for keeping my--" he stammered with a heavy sigh "I know you're so angry"

I lift my head seeing his tears. I use my thumb to wipe his tears away.

"Richard Grayson! I will never hate you. I will always love you, ok?" he nodded sniffing "I was angry that you did such a thing" I admitted "but I forgive you because I love you. Bruce and I will.." I stammer for a moment "will figure it out another day" I sighed

I kiss his head his hands on my shoulders. My heart breaks seeing him so distraught, though warms to have him within my grasp. Hour's later Grayson returns home to Bludhaven. I text Bruce I'm on my way. I go to the place where I stay now. It wasn't home. I open the door and steps inside. I shut the door behind me. I see Bruce sitting on the couch with little D/N sleeping in his strong arms. It was absolutely heartwarming. He softly smiled to me. Dammit.

"how long as she been asleep for?"

"half an hour.. How was work?" he whispered

"it was good. Grayson came to see, me" I bitterly said

"Y/N" he sighed

I whisper in a harsh tone "no! No you're not going to be able to say anything or do anything and just magically make this all right"

"I know I broke the trust you had in me Y/N. I broke a vow to you"

I feel my heart beating fast and eyes shake. I shake my head. I instantly go to our wedding. I want to kiss him and forget.

"I can't do this" I choke nearly crying

I step out of the living room to the bedroom. I shut the door behind me.

"dammit" I cursed to myself with a stutter

The night fell and I knew my husband was out there risking his life. I step onto the fire escape my little girl sound asleep in her bed. I look in the distance seeing on the building, Batman. I sigh dammit I miss him. I shut my eyes sighing. I count to 40. I open my eyes Bruce standing next to me. I take a shaky breath. I stare away from him with my eyes shaking. I don't want to cry in front of him.

"Y/N I was trying to protect Grayson and the less people who knew he was alive the safer he would be" he takes a deep breath "I miss you" he quavered.. Bruce didn't ever quaver because of me, unless it was a nightmare "I want my daughter and wife to come back home" he finished his voice genuinely hurt

I began to cry missing the comfort I feel from him. The love we make. Sharing each others space. The sweet kisses that were never long enough. Seeing him smile. Him making me smile. He was protecting our little boy.

"no more secrets" I demanded

"I promise"

I forgive him. He never broke a promise to me. I shake my head. I step to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I lock my lips to his. He deepens the kiss. Wall kissing me he takes my left hand, with my ring finger. He places the proof of our marriage among my finger.

Damian's P. O. V

I am rudely awoken to the sound of my phone ringing. I grunted. I look seeing my true mother's contact. I swiftly answer truly missing her. I hear soft crys recognizing it's my dear little sister. My heart racing. Is she hurt? Is she safe? I must hurry to her.

I swiftly demand "D/N where are you?"

-"D-Dami, mommy was kissing Batman!!"

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morizoras-cave · 4 years

Text

Drink (Request)

Ryan Reynolds x teen!daughter!reader

Genre: angst, fluffy ending

Request Description: Could you maybe do a Ryan Reynolds x teen!reader where the reader maybe goes to a party and something gets slipped into her drink but she calls Ryan and says she doesn’t feel well and he gets her and looks after her? Only if this is okay for you to write and you feel comfortable doing it. I love you work so much🥺 Thank you!🤍

Warnings: attempted rape, drugging, language

(A/N): this is my first ryan reynolds post. v excited. reading this back, i realized that this could be taken as victim blaming. the beginning part where ryan is talking about how his daughter “shouldn’t wear that dress out” was more of a “awww look hes a protective and good dad”. i dont believe in victim blaming at all. (off topic here) also i wrote the last part of this drunk af. anyway i hope y’all still enjoy. now smell you later losers!! break begun!

“Y/n, you are not going to a party in that outfit!”

You glared at your dad, who was both shaking his head and wagging his finger in disapproval.

“What’s so wrong with this dress?” you protested, crossing your arms.

“The boys and the girls will be after you in seconds! I will not have some sweaty teen thinking something nasty about my daughter!” his voice was high (as always), as he squealed his argument. You rolled your eyes.

Your mom walked into the room to grab something from the fridge, but stopped and looked at you. “Nice dress, N/n, you going to a party?”

“Don’t encourage this!” Ryan hissed and you smiled scornfully. Blake’s laughter came throughout the room and she stopped beside you with her glass of milk in her hand.

“Calm down, Ryan. She’s growing up!”

“Nuh uh!” your dad looked away, still unsatisfied. You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Y/n, just go to your party. I’ll deal with the grump lord,” your mom pushed you towards the entrance. Ryan’s face twisted into that of someone betrayed by his closest.

“Woah, woah, woah! Grump lord? I have a code name? In my own house?”

You skipped to the entrance room, sliding on your jacket and your shoes, smiling playfully. “Wait!” your dad yelled and footsteps nearing you, as he jogged to the entrance. You looked at him.

“Just.. Call me if you’re in trouble. Anything at all,” he knew he was defeated. Although, you loved basking in the glory of victory, you couldn’t help but smile at your dad’s kind words.

“I will,” you promised.

The party was loud and booming. Every inch of the house was hot (in an uncomfortable way) and crowded, teenagers rubbing against each other and dancing. You found yourself with your friends in the living room, dancing to the sound of a Nicki Minaj song.

“I’m gonna go get a drink!” you yelled over the music. Your friends, extremely intoxicated and doing ‘the stanky leg’, gave you a mindless thumbs up, and continued to dance. You giggle was drowned out in the music.

You squeezed your way past different people, finally making it to the table with all the liquor. The boy who was hosting had miraculously bought enough for there to just be an all-you-can-drink table.

The unnerving feeling of someone watching you became immediately clear. You looked around, finding the person fairly quickly. It was a boy, maybe a couple of years older than you, with a drunken gaze and tousled hair. He was smirking at you. You rolled your eyes and poured yourself a gin and tonic.

The moment the drink was finished, someone poked your shoulder. You looked up. It wasn’t the same boy as before. This one was bigger and broader. He had the same knowing smirk on his face. You felt unnerved.

“Hey. Is this your friend over here? They look pretty smashed, you might want to check on them,” he pointed to somewhere behind him, taking all your attention from your drink to your idiot friends. You told them not to drink too much.

“Can you show me where they are?” you mumbled and the boy nodded, pulling you away from your drink. He led you to somewhere entirely different in the house, where a girl you’d never seen in your life was doubled over, puking on the poor host’s carpet.

“I don’t know this girl,” you explained and the boy’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape. He sighed and then shrugged.

“Sorry, I thought I saw you talking earlier. Sorry to bother you,” then he walked off. You shook your head at the weird incident and walked back to you drink. You started gulping it down hungrily, deciding you were definitely too sober to be at this party.

Almost immediately, you started feeling extremely drunk. Extremely. Which was weird, you thought, but it was hard to concentrate on it, when the environment was so loud and your thoughts were so blurry.

Then, slowly, you realised that you didn’t usually feel like this when you were drunk. You tried to rationalise it. Maybe you just put too much gin in your drink? Maybe you had forgotten that you’d drunk something? Whatever the case, you started feeling weird.

Everything was spinning. You wouldn’t have been able to find your friends if you wanted to. Then, in your chaotic state, your eyes passed someone else’s eyes, and you recognised them. It was the boy from earlier, the broad one, smirking at you. This time, his smirk felt alarming. Chilling.

That moment was when the penny dropped. Your head snapped to the other boy, the one who’d just watched you. He gave you a grin.

You were shaking, blinking away tears. You realised the position you were in. You were prey. And you were vulnerable. You took a few shaky steps, trying to make it seem like you hadn’t just realised you’d been roofied.

When your back was turned to them, and you were stood behind a wall of dancing bodies, you pulled out your phone from your bag. You couldn’t tell if it was your vision, or if your hands were shaking, but everything was buzzing, unable to keep still.

Your finger hovered over his number. What if you weren’t roofied? What if you were just drunk and silly? How embarrassing would that be? You felt tears prick your eyes.

His voice echoed in your head. “Call me if you’re in trouble. Anything at all.”

You pressed down on his number, bringing the phone to your ear. You could hardly form a sentence. Everything was moving and it was so loud.

“Hello?” Your dad’s voice was like cutting open this hellspace to some sort of heaven. It felt safe. You closed your eyes, a tear running down your face.

“Hi, dad,” you had to yell, “can you- can you come pick me up?”

There was a moment of silence from the phone, before he said: “Sure, why? You’re at Erik’s house, right?”

“Yeah, Erik’s house. Let’s talk about this later!” then you hung up. It almost felt like your heart was shaking in your chest. It was too much, all of it. You could hardly walk, but you took a step towards the door, then several more.

You feverishly grabbed the door handle, trying desperately to open the door, but you weren’t strong enough. It was a chilling realisation, that you weren’t even strong enough to open a door.

“Do you need a help?”

You jumped and shrieked, but it was drowned out by the music. No one noticed. You looked up and you had to stand there for a moment, before you realised that it wasn’t any of the boys you’d seen before.

This boy looked concerned. You couldn’t even process how you must look, tear-streaked face, ruined makeup, shaking and helplessly grasping a door. You didn’t care.

“Here,” he mumbled and opened the door for you. You whispered a ‘thank you’, and wobbled out on the street. You heard the boy leave, but you kept standing there, waiting uncomfortably for your dad to show up.

Eventually, you saw his car pulling up in the distance. You breathed out in relief and dashed to his car, opening the door and sitting down beside you dad. He was looking at you, brows furrowed in concern.

It was a scary thing. He was always afraid of seeing you like that. Seeing you scared and drunk and desperate. As you sat down his hand grasped yours.

“Are you okay, Y/n? What happened?”

You shook your head. You felt so unfocused. It was impossible to understand everything that was going on. You missed being sober. “My- My drink,” you mumbled senselessly, unable to speak normally.

“What about your drink?” Ryan pressed, squeezing your hand. You were his child. He loved you. He was worried. Beyond belief.

“I-I think someone.. I think someone put something in it..” you mumbled, head swinging. You were far from the normal you. Everything was swinging right by you.

“You think someone..?” Ryan trailed off. You saw his knuckles turn white as he grasped the steering wheel angrily. “Did they- Did they touch you?”

You shook your head. You saw your dad breathe out in relief, his hand never leaving yours.

“Alright, I’ll just drive you home. It’ll be fine,” he mumbled (mostly to himself) as he started the car and drove away from the booming, partying house. “It’ll be just fine, N/n.”

He kept mumbling to himself, but you fell asleep in the car. Eventually everything was too much for you, so you just decided to close your eyes. It was a good decision. Sleep was so peaceful.

Ryan drove you home, carrying you into their house and into your room. “What’s wrong with her?” Blake would yell, confused and scared, but Ryan would just focus on getting you to bed.

“She was roofied. Someone put something in her fucking drink! She could’ve been- She could’ve been fucking raped!” he ranted to his wife, whilst you slept peacefully in the other room.

Needless to say both your mom and your dad were much more overprotective after that, both with parties and with boys. But it was okay. You woke up safe and sound, and you were happy your dad had gotten you before something awful happened.

Honestly, you didn’t oppose their overprotectiveness, because after that night you felt like you needed it. No matter what way you twisted it, that night fucked you up. You weren’t as reckless or careless after that. And you got help from a professional, but still. It was an awfully traumatising experience.

You were just happy your dad had been with you that night. And that he cared for you. Of course, he would. He was your dad. He loved you more than anything else in the world. You had no reason to worry, not when you had your dad by your side.

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906

#ryan reynolds x reader #ryan reynolds x daughter!reader #ryan reynolds x teen!reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool cast x reader #marvel cast x reader #mcu cast x reader #avengers cast x reader #avengers cast x teen!reader

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calaofnoldor · 3 years

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My Own Hidden Gem Masterlist

as a tangent to the hidden gems reblog challenge, i've compiled a list of writers and the fics they've deemed their most underrated!

go show them some love and maybe tell them i sent you? 😉

if you'd like to add yours, please see this post :)

@alleiradayne ~ There's Something Strange | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - When Y/N Y/L/N escapes to the upper Midwest for a weekend of inspiration to begin her tenth paranormal thriller novel, she never imagined the source of that inspiration to be her own life. Between the old mansion, two peculiar men posing as antiquers, and the mysterious death of the heiress of Hill Manor one-hundred and fifty years ago, Y/N learns the truth about far more than the paranormal.

@allys-creative-bubble ~ The Masquerade | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - To the outside world the Winchesters are just running an MNC and are really good people. Only few people know what they actually do and reader is one of them. Who also happens to work for FBI and go undercover to investigate them. Things went well until she stated to fall for the younger Winchester.

@calaofnoldor ~ Sixth Time's the Charm | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - All the times Dean has tried to get Sam to admit his feelings for you.

@carryonmywaywardbucky ~ Spring Break | Sebastian Stan x Reader - The reader and Sebastian’s friend group is headed to Myrtle Beach for spring break for some much needed R&R before finals. Their friends have a plan in place to finally get Seb and the reader together, something they’ve been trying to do since freshman year of high school.

@danneelsmain ~ My Angels | Danneel Harris x Etla Harris x Rachel Harris x Reader - Being an Omega is tough and Y/N thought she'd never get picked and escape the auction palace but little did she know an Alpha or a pack of them would. Certainly the angels that would take her away from a place of horrors.

@deanwanddamons ~ Women Are Always Right | SPN Gen Fic - Sam and Rowena have a disagreement about the use of ingredients for a spell.

@deanwinchesterswitch ~ Sacrifice | Dean Winchester x Reader - sac’ri·fice’ v. 1 to give up something that is valuable to you in order to help another person 2 to give up something for something else considered more important (Cambridge Dictionary, 2020)

@downanddirtydean ~ Let the Light In | Dean Winchester x OFC Series - Tess Sands has spent the last eight years searching for the remaining Men of Letters bunker that her father has told her so much about. When she finally finds it, she discovers that the Winchester brothers are already living there. In almost no time, Tess joins Team Free Will… until she finds out that for her, will has never been free.

@hoboal87 ~ Elastic Heart | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - Y/N Y/L/N, a recent nursing school graduate, life is turned up-side down when, out of sheer circumstance, a certain Winchester walks back into her life. Neither one ever expected to see the other again, they most come to terms with how their relationship ended, and the secrets unspoken between them.

@idabbleincrazy ~ Go Out with a Bang | Spangel Series -Spike’s already faced down his last day on Earth once, hell if he ain’t gonna do it right this time. Stuck at Wolfram & Hart till the sun goes down, he decides to finally take it upon himself to fix the rift between him and his Grandsire. If Angel’s so certain they won’t escape the Senior Partner’s wrath, then he’s got nothing left to lose…right? Follow our two Vamps with Souls as they bare their hearts to each other and take a leap of faith that they just might make it to see tomorrow.

@iguana-eyanna ~ What Was Left Behind Pt. 7 | Steve Rogers x Reader - After the events of the Sokovia Accords, Steve is now a fugitive to the U.S.A. government and has left you in the worst way possible. What happens when fate reunites the two again when you are most vulnerable?

@katelynw93 ~ Dean fucking Winchester | Dean Winchester x Reader - Dean is out looking for someone or something to entertain himself with. Turns out that thing is you.

@myinconnelly1 ~ Throwing Pebbles | Sam Winchester x OFC Series

@peridottea91 ~ Holding Onto You | Sam Winchester x OFC Series - In 2012, Bobby Singer was killed by Leviathan Dick Roman. The aftermath of his death leads to a division between the Winchesters and Sam’s girlfriend, Kasey. Guilt-ridden and driven to her breaking point, she gathers her stuff and leaves in the middle of the night without a word. Four years later, she calls Sam’s phone after a hunt gone wrong in the hopes of hearing his voice one last time. Suddenly they are swept back into each other’s lives, but a lot has happened in four years. Can they rekindle what they had before, or is it too late?

@sams-sass ~ Secrets in the Snow | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - You and Sam get trapped in a cabin for Christmas. Fluff ensues.

@sofreddie ~ Chasing Shadows | Sam Winchester x Reader Series - The Shadow. A Hunter’s Legend, a Fairytale. At least, that’s what Sam thought until The Shadow showed up and saved him on a hunt. In his search to discover and know this mysterious Hunter, Sam runs into a woman from his past. Can she help him get to the bottom of this mystery?

@supraveng ~ Girls Night | SPN Gen Fic

@swiftlymoniquesblog ~ My Daughter's Nanny | Jensen Ackles x Reader Series - The hardest part of losing someone you love is trying to move on after they’ve gone. What’s even worse is having a 5-year-old daughter that you are the sole caretaker for. On top of that, you have to balance a career on a very successful television series. Hiring someone to help out around the house came with a lot more than I ever thought it would and I found myself compromising a lot of things I should never have. Believe me, I know that what I’ve done can be frowned upon but when there’s a hole in your chest the size of an entire human being, you’ll do anything to fill that hole once more, no matter what the cost. Desperate people do desperate things, right? Well, look at me; I’ve become desperate.

@there-must-be-a-lock ~ Gift-Wrapped | Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers

@thinkinghardhardlythinking ~ Wish | Sam Winchester x Reader - Sam, Dean and the Reader make a wish. The reader has a dream. Friends to lovers with Sam but leading up to Priest!Sam naughtiness.

@thoughtslikeaminefield ~ Where is My Shiny Gun? | Sam Winchester x Donna Hanscum x Dean Winchester Series - Sam finds himself in a quandary when he realizes he has feelings for Donna by way of the obvious mutual attraction between her and Dean.

@wonder-cole ~ Captive | Dean Winchester x Reader

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yn-x-animeboy · 3 years

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Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.4

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

synopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

Parts: 1 here, 2 here, 3 here

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Part 4 - Hotel? Trivago.

you started to sing and suddenly you heard a voice behind you singing with you, and you couldn’t even turn around to prove you were not mistaken, you knew that voice too well, the live audience was losing it, the crew looked excited, you went numb, you looked back and it seemed like a joke, a complete dream…..

The seven guys were coming out from behind the curtain, being led by Jungkook, he was singing the bridge of the song, mic in hand and just looking at you. Your knees gave out and you curled on your knees as you cried on your knees, ‘there is no way’, you could even begin to process what was going on, The boys were a little shy and stayed behind you as Jimmy lifted you from the floor and made you look at them.

Once you could stand up/being held up by Jimmy, RM was the first to approach you, they all introduced themselves and after they bowed their heads out of respect and you did the same, you looked at them in awe. Then they greeted Jimmy too. Jungkook signaled you to keep singing the last part of the song and as a professional singer you did. You picked up your singing almost at the end of the song: “kkumeul geonneoseo supul neometro, seonmyeonghaejineun geu goseuro ga” holding the mic with to hands trying to hide your shaking hands Jungkook standing next to you to the left and the guys with Jimmy around the both of you; you lifted one hand from the mic and showed it to the closest people to your right which were Jimin, V and Jimmy; and just as you put it up to show how shaky it was Jungkook took your hand as he sang: “Take my hands now, You are the cause of my euphoria.” You really looked at him for the first time ever, you had never seen him in person before…. Your eyes met each other for a split second.

The guys, Jimmy, the crew, the audience, everyone cheered and squealed at this little interaction; you both blushed and dropped each other's hands. You turned back to hide your face covering your mouth as you got teary eyes. The guys near Jungkook hit him and teased him due to his ‘out of the blue’ confidence. He was normally more shy when it came to interactions with strangers, especially if it was with women. But even Jungkook seemed surprised at himself; he blushed too, but kept going. You both finished the song, harmonizing perfectly, facing each other, but avoiding his eyes, you felt so vulnerable looking at his eyes.

They all applauded once you finished and they cut to a commercial break. The guys were taken by crew members to get mic'd up, and Meg once again for the third time tonight fixed your appearance. They went back from break and sat on the couch next to Jimmy, they made a space for you in the middle of the guys, and you took a seat with trembling limbs as the ‘back from commercials’ music played and the audience cheered.

On the main couch sat RM nearest to the desk, then you to his right, Jungkook next to you and Suga on the end of the medium couch; behind you V, Jimin J-Hope and Jin sat on higher chairs all facing the front. Jimmy spoke “so I heard you introduced yourselves o y/n in english with the help of RM, but she can actually speak Korean. Y/n why don’t you introduce yourself?” They all turned to you from all angles; “Oh i'm so sorry; RM was so kind to translate when they introduced themselves, I didn't want to seem rude by interrupting him, but sure um-” you switched to korean and looked around you to the boys “Hello, my name is y/n, I am so pleased to meet you all, it's a dream come true, please take good care of me” The guys immediately made small comments at your cute Korean accent, “aww so cute” “wow you are good” “cute” even though a Korean person could probably tell Korean was was not your first language due to the accent difference, you where really good at it.

“So I wanted to ask the guys a couple of questions too, thank you guys for coming, it's always a pleasure to have you all.” Jimmy said, after this he introduced them to the audience and gave them a proper introduction. Jimmy proceeded to catch up with the guys, asking them questions too; you helped RM translate too, which made the interview run smoother, you were making the guys laugh with your small contributions (by adding comments or opinions in Korean). During this time Jungkook and you were sitting so close to each other, you could see eachother out of the corners of your eyes, you were each other's celebrity crushes after all.

After a while you started loosening up and getting more comfortable; this was part of your personality, you were known to be a social butterfly, so even though this was a dream come true and you couldn’t stop crying like 15 mins ago; your body knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and that there is no time to be all shy and quiet. You got looser, bolder, and more confident, actually showing your real personality, the personality the boys knew you like from your videos and social media. (and the personality that made Jungkook so drawn to you in the first place.) Your change in personality even made the boys less stiff and more relaxed too.

After the catch up with the guys you all stood up to play another one of Jimmy’s famous show games/challenges/activities. “So now that you all are more comfortable with each other let’s play a game, this game is called ‘Guess The Jam’, Basically we will play a song and like earlier you have to dance to it; the difference this time is that the dancer will be wearing headphones and others have to guess the song they are dancing too by just judging the dance moves.

Y/N will be dancing to BTS songs and BTS is going to dance to y/n songs, yes?” You were now standing WITH them instead of next to them/distant from them, you all seemed like you bonded. “yes” “Let’s GO!” “I got it”.

Again the game was a success you danced to multiple songs and they all guessed their title by your dancing to all of the songs that had been assigned to you; and you were so impressed at the seven grown a*s men, dancing perfectly to random songs of yours, you guessed most of them, but you got distracted at times form the hilarious scene in front of you. *J-Hope trting really hard to coordinate everyone in seconds to make the dance clear, they eventually would give up and dance their hearts out*, leaving you with no other choice but to TRY and guess what the hell they were dancing to.

At some point the maknae line (V/Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook) made you dance with them to some of the songs (IDOL, Boy with luv, Burning up, etc) while the hyungs cheered you guys on, and also while J-Hope recorded you four like you were his children dancing at a school show.

You all took a break after the dance segment and went to freshen up while Jimmy did another sponsorship. You changed back to your Fancy outfit and Meg AGAIN, for the millionth time tonight fixed your image, your team/crew would hype up and get all supportive since BTS arrived, telling you you were doing great, and how this was your dream come true, etc. You thanked your manager too, every time you briefly saw him during the ‘touch up moment’, then you went back to the studio couch with the boys in the same order you were sitting before.

You didn't notice but Jungkook looked at you in awe as you came out with a different outfit, the guys had been watching the whole show up to the point where they surprised you backstage, meaning he had seen the outfit before, but the view in person was different; he proved his hypothesis to be right...you truly lighted up a room the minute you walked in it. He composed himself, he was being shy and quiet while you were showing a more inviting and relaxed vibe. (Pfft he had no idea you were still shi*ting your pants hahaha).

“So y/n and I talked about this earlier; she is going to be performing tomorrow for the Billboard awards, and I hear that you guys will also be performing. Is that true? RM was about to translate to the guys and then answer Jimmy, but you handled it and translated Jimmy’s question to the guys for him, letting him answer comfortably; sometimes he could have a hard time during interviews in english because he had to constantly translate for the guys; this little gesture meant so much to him. “Yeah, we too are going to be performing tomorrow, we are really excited and thankful for the opportunity, and we are also excited to watch the whole award show too,” RM said. They were also nominated and were going to watch the show, you got a little excited your were going to see them again tomorrow, even if you knew you probably were only going to be able to see them on stage due to how hard it was actually to ‘hang out’ with other celebrities on award shows due to the different schedules and hectic environment. Nevertheless you were trying to enjoy your little burst of confidence and take in every moment right now with the guys; you knew your friendship would probably last only for today. (a/n oHhH muahahah u thought y/n)

--------

The Jimmy Fallon Show was a complete success, the plan worked, your team and BTS’s team with the help of Jimmy were able to surprise you guys; the timing worked because you were both in the same place due to the billboard awards and your performances.

After the show you even hung out a little with them before you all had to go. The chemistry between you and the guys was unbelievable, it seemed like you guys had been close friends all this time.

RM and you bonded over speaking english, even teasing others by speaking english and not translating back for them; Suga and you had bonded over producing music, you both talked about how the process is for the both of you, and he even said he would love to work with someone like you (even though he was normally a more chill, cold person to strangers, he immediately felt comfortable to show you his warmer side, that’s your charm); J-Hope and you bonded over dance, you both ‘fangirled’ about each others’ skills, you too both agreed that working with each other in the future would be so cool; Jin and you seemed like siblings I swear, he too is normally more shy when it comes to one-on-one interactions with strangers but due to your boldness, you immediately bonded by teasing each other, he would also try and make you cringe with cheesy Korean dad jokes, but you always had another cringier joke to fight back with; Let’s just say you passed Taehyung’s vibe check, he really likes your personality and you met all his expectations of you, he was not disappointed, out of all of the guys you had the quickest bond with him, he now even has a nickname for you and you too also start to call him ‘Tae Tae’ after just a couple hours of meeting; Jimin struggled a little at first to approach you, he was really fangirling over you once the cameras were cut, but you approached him and made him feel comfortable, he then immediately loosened up and bonded over your similar personalities, it was like hanging out with a literal different version of yourself, you even already had inside jokes with him too; and Jungkook…. oh Jungkook, you guys seemed to fit so well, in the little time you both hung out you were making each other cry laugh, you had small conversations about music, dance, about your cultural differences, he even said that if you ever went to Korea, he would like to show you around his favorite places, but every time you guys would chat with each other or literally by just existing next to each other, the guys would act weird and either make small comments and noises to tease you, or try and give you space in the small dressing room by standing up from the couch and dashing to the corner of the room (again imagine six grown men huddled in the corner trying to act ‘natural’ when Jungkook only handed you a bottle of water that was brought in by a crew member).

It was crazy how quick you all created this friendship, the guys had already talked amongst themselves and agreed that no matter what, they would really care for this friendship and that they would do everything in their power to keep you in their lives (Suga said that he was down to kidnap you from america and take you to South Korea in case you all became distant).

You were currently sitting in their dressing room chatting, basically getting to know them and them getting to know you (y'all were having some deep conversations) you also learned you were staying in the same hotel and that the next day you all had rehearsals at the same time for your performances, you compared your schedules and they seemed to match up for the most part. In conclusion you were staying at the same hotel, had rehearsals at 8:00 am in the same location the next day, and you guys wanted to hang out a little more.

Your managers came in to tell you that the cars were ready to take you to the hotel, you got a little sad you had to leave them for the ride back, but their manager said “Oh, y/n, you get to choose who you want to travel back with, we canceled your car so that you could drive back with the boys” you smiled from ear to ear and quickly introduced yourself to the bilingual man in charge of managing the guys behind you who were currently fighting over who you got to ride back to the hotel with.

-------

Due to the fact that no one wanted to be left out riding back without you, you where currently eight adults...packed tightly into a small van on the back seats. Both of your teams/staffs watched as you all tried to get in the van, like children (screaming, pushing, laughing) they didnt know if they should find this cute/funny or drag you all into separate vans once and for all.

“Dude I can feel your fuc*ing hair IN MY NOSE, move” Suga spoke, “Whose hand is that, ey they getting friendly” Tae said, as a joke you said “That’s my hand, my bad” making everyone laugh. “Jimin you know, you are not so light weighted, I need blood circulation” Jin commented, “Oy aren't you sitting too close to y/n kookie? If something happens I’m taking y/n’s side.” You all laughed, it was true tho, you were basically on top of Jungkook but weren't you all ‘TOO CLOSE’ to each other? I mean- 3 seats for 8 adults? It definitely defied the laws of physics but it worked out.

The ten minute ride to the hotel was interesting; the first 5 minutes were silent, after 2 minutes you asked for the radio, but it was broken, after 2 more minutes you could faintly hear Jin’s moaning out in pain as he was being suffocated; due to the weird sounds he was making, the context and your ‘dirty minded heads’ you and JK burst out laughing, making the others infected with your laughter, this until you arrived.

Once you were at the hotel, your teams made you stand like disobedient children in a line ‘soldier style’ while they arranged the room situations. (you had stayed at a different hotel in the afternoon due to its closeness to the Jimmy fallon set and due to the fact you only used it to nap and shower, but this hotel was closer to where the billboard awards where and to where your rehearsals were so this was your temporary home for now, aslo your team had to rent a lot of rooms for the 20 or so people traveling with you. BTS had to do the same)

While the keys were being activated one of the BTS staff members started to ask the guys for their room service orders, so the kitchen could start making them; your manager’s assistant also took your order and while you were busy choosing your dinner, the maknae line had an idea...

Once you finished ordering Tae and Jungkook interlocked their arms with yours tightly and Jimin spoke to staff: “Excuse me could you please be so kind to send all of our meals to Jin’s room, (turning to YOUR staff he again spoke in broken english) y/n would also like her dinner to be sent to Jin’s room, than you all, gudnait”,

While Jungkook and V dragged you, Jimin bowed to the staff and followed you. Suga was cry-laughing at your cruising while being dragged away, he lifted one of your dragging legs up and RM followed him, lifting the other leg. J-hope started recording the whole ordeal. Jin was following them as he suddenly realized... “Oi why does it always have to be my room? I always end up smelling like steak '' he kept following anyway.

Your manager speeded up and walked next to your now lifted body and told you to have fun and to go to your room early to be responsible and not stay up so late for tomorrow’s early rehearsals (cute scene: without putting you down the boys stopped and lowered you a little so that you could say good night to Sam and he could kiss your forehead, they they lifted you back up)

You arrived at Jin's assigned hotel room and the guys comfortably all spread around the room; you walked in a little shy because you had never hung out like this with anyone, plus you didn't know what to do…. Jin was the last one to walk in and he put his arm around you encouraging you to walk in with him, he even pushed Jimin off the bed so you could sit there and he took the desk chair while you all waited for the food. You all had dinner in Jin’s room, sitting on the floor and drinking wine (Jin and Jimin insisted on having alcohol) you were having so much fun. After dinner you all kept drinking while playing drinking games with the tiny alcohol bottles hotels provide.

It was really really REALLY past your bedtimes; just analize with me: if the Jimmy Fallon show ended at 12:00am and you guys got to the hotel at around 12:30, you had dinner, played games, drank, etc.; imagine what time it is currently….

You all were at least little tipsy by now, RM spoke to everyone: “Guys-ss we should probably go back to our rooms, wE hAve to be aWake and readY to gOooooo. for tomorrow..” even though he was all sloppy and slow form the alcohol he was still following his ‘leader’ role. Everyone drunkenly cleaned up Jin's room and stood up to leave to head to your rooms. Out of everyone in here, you and Jungkook were the least drunk; not because you drank less, but apparently you both were better at handling alcohol than the others.

JK offered to walk you to your room because even if you weren't super drunk you were still a little sloppy (which he was too) and your team had rented the floor under so he didn’t want to leave you alone to find your way (you found this so cute, no one had ever treated you like this, he was a true gentleman).

Obviously the guys teased when you both walked together in the same direction, you just kept walking, making small talk. Once the elevator arrived on your floor you thought JK would ride the elevator back, but he insisted on making sure you were safe inside your room before he left. You walked through the hall, heels in your right hand and Jungkook walking to your left. You suddenly passed by a clear door that showed outside to a terrazze (basically used for smokers, but other people could use it too) and not thinking it through you took JK’s hand and walked outside.

It was a warm night and the terrazze was pretty dark-ish and small, but the view was beautiful; the night sky contrasting the bright lights form the buildings’ skyline. You looked at the view, mesmerized by it, Jungkook could only look at you, he thought you looked too beautiful and as you tightly held on to the railing looking out wide eyed at the pretty lights.

You turned to him and realized he was looking at you, you analyzed his face thinking: ‘waw he is the most handsome man I have ever seen’ as you looked into his eyes, even through your tipsy state you realized >OMG I'M STANDING OUT HERE WITH JUNGKOOK, THE. JUNGKOOK., FUC*K, I PROBABLY LOOK LIKE SHIT DAMMIT, WAIT THIS IS MY CELEBRITY CRUSH, WHAT DO I DO

You seemed to be getting physically closer and closer to eachother, he was looking down at you in such an adoring way, but in his head he was also thinking…> OMG I'M STANDING OUT HERE WITH Y/N, THE. Y/N., FUC*K, I PROBABLY LOOK LIKE SHIT DAMMIT, WAIT THIS IS MY CELEBRITY CRUSH, WHAT DO I DO , but even though you were BOTH freaking out, the two of you knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, having someone so special to you, like this, in front of you…

You were now standing inches away from each other's faces, “hi…” you said, almost whispering as you smiled sweetly at him, looking from his eyes to his lips.

“Hi” Jungkook said in a raspy almost sleepy tone, smiling with his teeth and suddenly dropping his smile back down as he followed your eyes; he wanted to close the space between you two, but he didn't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable or think of him differently.

You were the first to speak, breaking eye contact and looking at his chest. “Um, could I, if it’s not too weird, um- put...my arms around you?” you immediately regretted it; what if he didnt understand your Korean, what if you translated it wrong in your head before saying it outloud what if-.... A small chuckle coming from in front of you stopped your train of thought, Jungkook put his hand under your chin and lifted your face to look at him again; he took your arms and placed them around his neck; he then put his hands on your waist, but loosened his hold and asked if you were okay with that and you nodded.

You both stared at each other’s eyes; you both fit so perfectly in each other's arms you felt so comfortable. The tension could be cut with a knife, you looked back at his lips and he did too; getting closer, you could feel his breathing on your face, you both closed your eyes and barely touched your lips together when his phone went off for the millionth time startling you, you both separated your faces and looked wide-eyed at the other, a tint of blush on your cheeks… you kissed him, he kissed you, even though it was the tiniest, shortest, lightest kiss in the history of kisses you both felt happy about it. When you realized you two had the same expression on your faces you both laughed, you had never been this comfortable with a man before, specially in such a short period of time.

His phone ket going off and off, “My phone has been ringing for so long now hahaha, since we left the elevator it has rung, but I didn't want to answer and um- you know… I don't want to answer and not be focused on you” he said as you both took a step back from each other and as he answered the 37th call after ignoring other 36 calls.

“PFFfffft ohhhhh he answered, hi guki, um ahahaha shut the fAq uP Tae ahahahah um…. we….. can't get into our rooms'' you could hear the snickers and slow words through the phone, you and Jungkook still felt a little numb and sloppy from the alcohol, how could they be so drunk?.

“Hyung… ugh fine, i’ll be there don’t go anywhere, nobody move, okay?” he hung up and humorously sighed, he would normally find this situation to be hilarious but the fact that he had to interrupt a once in a lifetime moment with his celebrity crush so that he could help his older brothers….dam.

You chuckled at his reaction, you picked the heels from the ground and boldly kissed him on the cheek, you walked in front of him to head inside, knowing how caring he was to his friends; but before you could go inside Jungkook stopped you by taking your hand, “I know this is an embarrassing question but if I don't do this now I may never be able to have this opportunity again…”

You were still facing the door, your hand in his hand behind your back; frozen from anticipation of what he might say next.

“Can I um-, *deep inhale* can I kiss you one more time before you go?” you immediately turned around (and this might be the alcohol working it’s magic but you thought ‘he is right, if this was someone else you probably wouldn't have kissed them first day after meeting meeting them, but this was Jungkook, your ‘platonic crush’ from the other side of the world, what if after this weekend you never saw each other again?’)

Dropping your heels, and letting go of his hand you wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him in to you and kissing him; you both smiled against each other's lips form the sudden butterflies in your stomach and happiness you felt. He pulled you even closer with one hand on the side of your face and the other on your hip, then he wrapped his arms around your torso and you put your arms around his neck holding each other tighter.

This was no ‘take me now’ R-rated kiss at all; it was a more soft, intimate, sweet kiss. You let go and hugged each other one last time on that terrazze; normally you both didn't really like the whole “corny lovey dovey” scene, so once you let go you both chuckled at your cheesy moment. You walked back inside with him to look for your hotel room, he even asked if he could hold your hand while walking down the hall, you laughed a little at him and took his hand confidently. You remembered your manager told you your room was 456B when the boys were dragging you at the entrance. You finally arrived at the door, you turned to look at Jungkook and thanked him with a warm genuine smile; he leaned down and kissed the side of your mouth and smiled back and said goodnight with his bunny smile. :,)

You turned around and turned the handle to open the door, it didn't open… and something finally clicked in that drunken little head of yours…. SAM NEVER GAVE YOU THE FUC*ING ROOM KEY… you felt like panicking, it was almost 5:30 am, you had to be awake in 2.5 hours for rehearsals and you had nowhere to sleep, instead of crying you laughed, you burst out laughing; Jungkook covered your mouth and leaned over you with your back against the door; he was looking around with a quiet giggle to make sure you didn't wake anyone up.

“ahhh *small giggle* ahh um yeah I would normally just cry in these situations but I- I don’t have a key… Sam didn't give me one” Jungkook was about to come up with a plan to solve this but you knew what he was going to say: “The front desk won’t open that room for me because it is not registered under my name, for security reasons; Two they can’t give me another room because I need my card and ID to get one and I only have my phone with me; Three, I can’t wake up sam or anyone in my team because A. it isn’t their fault and I would be disrupting their sleep, B. I will get in trouble because Sam told me to come back early, and C…. idk but I wanted to say ‘and C’ ” you said, Jungkook looked down at you and couldn’t help but laugh at you. “Hey don’t make fun of me, it’s not my fault” you poked his chest. He stopped, “No, I’m not laughing at you, the guys have a similar problem apparently what a coincidence” he answered. The both of you decided to go see the guys first before trying to figure out what to do, together, as a team of 8 drunk heads.

When you arrived on the top floor, there they where, 5 drunk BTS members in front of you; RM was leaning over a hallway wall talking to ‘nothing’ as if he was practicing how to flirt with an invisible person; J-Hope was passed out in fetal position on the floor; Suga was cry laughing rolling on the floor while also trying to click the camera button on his phone as he wobbled back and forth clicking on everything but the camera icon; Jimin was standing still, phone still in his ear, he looked at a statue (remember Kookie said on the phone with Jimin ‘nobody move, okay?’ well Jimin hadn’t moved ever since Jungkook hung up the phone); Tae was literally in the middle of performing some sort of strip/circus/magic/dance show for Suga when they realized you two standing there they composed themselves “what… the hell? hahahahahha, what happened?” You laughed out loud and Jungkook immediately covered your mouth, he quietly giggled as he had done this exact thing minutes ago too.

In summary, once Jin waved everyone off he went into his room, that's why he is not here; Suga struggled to find his key but eventually found it in his suit jacket and was able to go into his room, he barely spent one minute in there when RM knocked at the door and told Suga that he had no idea where is room was, the keys where not numbered, so Suga said ‘I can help you’ and went out to the hallway to help him but even Suga was confused as to how HE found his room so he told RM don’t worry, sleep in my room and tomorrow the staff can help you, when he turned around to open the door Suga realized he left the key inside. J-Hope had passed out in Jin’s room and Jin had said it was okay for him to stay in his room, but J-Hope had woken up and said good night and walked out so Jin though he was all good and on his way safely to his room...WRONG, J-hope gave up 5 steps down the hall and said ‘i need rest, here floor *thump*’ and dropped on the ground; Taehyung didn’t even know he had a room for himself, so he definitely he has no idea where his room was supposed to be; and Jimin did know where his key was and room, but it apparently was deactivated, but seeing how everyone was up here he opted to not go get it reactivated, he didn’t want to be left out.

Jungkook started losing it, cry-laughing at his friends; this time you humorously covered his mouth like he did to you, as you tried to think of a solution. BINGO, you rang Jin’s door insistently until he opened up. Once he opened the door with sleepy eyes he analized the scene behind you and your hand covering the youngest member’s mouth he sighed, allowing you all inside his room.

All of you knew you had less than 3 hours to sleep and actually do a good job tomorrow so everyone took up a spot to rest. In the bed J-hope and Jin slept comfortably; Suga fell asleep sitting down on the desk chair; Tae slept in the bathroom’s bathtub; RM threw himself on the tiny couch for two with his arms and legs hanging out from the sides; you sat on the floor leaning against the wall, Jimin used your leg as a pillow and Jungkook sat next to you, he actually did have his hotel key with him and knew his room was literally the one next to this one, but he wanted to be where you where. You both also fell asleep sitting leaning against the wall.

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PART 5------> here

Thank you all for giving my fanfic a shot. I will keep doing my best to give you a good story, please interact with the post :) Xx

#bts #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook imagine

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