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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years

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These Hands that Hold Me - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, small angst, cursing

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Request: Could you write a Bakugou x FemReader fluff based on the idea that Bakugou has sweaty hands (because of his quirk) and is really self conscious about it because people have brought it up in the past. But the reader really wants to hold hands with him on the way home from U.A.

His hands. In his mind, they were the greatest thing about him. His hands are the ones that allow him to keep his loved ones safe. His hands are the ones that allow him to reach out to grab his favorite things. His hands allow him to push away idiots and move forward. His hands are also the source of his quirk, one of the things he’s most proud of. They also allow him to hold onto you, his girlfriend and teddy bear, and keep you protected.

However they are what makes him insecure. Usually, Katsuki couldn’t care less about what people thought of him. But this was different. This was you. He wanted to impress you so bad. You had only been dating for 2 months, but you both had been close friends early on before, so you thought Katsuki had opened up to you about everything already, but this was one thing that has yet to be said.

As your relationship grew, you of course got clingier. Who wouldn’t want to be completely loved and secure in the arms of their loving boyfriend. Good thing for Katsuki, since you only started dating, you were ok with just holding onto his hand. But that was the problem, he always avoided doing it.

—

It was a beautiful day and you and Katsuki had just finished all your classes. You both had no scheduled training today so you decided a movie night back in his dorms would be the go to. As you walked side by side, you wanted to get closer to him, so like any girlfriend would, you reached out to hold onto his hand. You were subtle about it though. You glided your hand across his and gave gentle nudges as you moved closer next to him. This made Katsuki stiffen and he started to walk faster ahead of you.

“C’mon dumbass, we gotta get there quicker. Keep up.” He said without looking back at you.

You sighed before an idea came to mind.

“You know~ I could keep up with you if I just held onto your hand. It would keep me in the same pace as you Suki!” As you subtly reached for his hand, he saw and put it in his pocket.

“If you need to depend on someone else just to keep up the pace on a walk, then you gotta work a little harder on your stamina, princess.” He said while walking.

“Right...of course. My bad.” You said as you looked down and walked with your own hands interlocked behind your back. Bakugou saw this and couldn’t help but feel bad, but this was too embarrassing. His hands were so sweaty due to his quirk, what if you did it once and never wanted to again. He would love to hold your hand, but if there was a possibility of you never wanting to be in his grasps, that would wreck him.

So you both continued your walk to the dorms, but once you made it in and he started walking to his room, he noticed you weren’t following.

“Hey, Princess? Where you going? Dorm’s this way.” He said while pointing to his room’s direction.

“Umm, yeah Suki, I’m not feeling the greatest, so I’m just gonna head back to my room.” You said with a soft look on your face.

“Oh. Well, I could go with you and help take care of you if you aren’t feeling the bes-“ you cut him off before he could continue.

“No! Uh..no thank you, Katsuki. I’ll be fine, I just..gotta go. Uhm..yea,” you said the last sentence while giving him a peck to the cheek and walking off.

Katsuki only watched you go in sadness and when you were out of sight, he went to his own dorm and flopped on his bed.

“UGHHHH you idiot...just let her, hold your, hand!” He said while banging his head into the mattress. He’s not dumb, he knows you’re not sick or anything. You were upset because he wouldn’t even give you the slightest touch, but he still wanted to spend time with you. He texted you and asked if you were feeling ok to which you just replied with “👍.”

He only sighed at the message and decided he should sleep this off, but during his dream...things happened.

Katsuki walked up to you but you only laughed as he tried to reach out to you. You made fun of him and walked away saying you guys were done. His world was collapsing and you were disappearing. Katsuki fell into a dark world as he heard your voice say such negative things.

“We’re done Bakugou!”

“I hate you.”

“You always neglected me!”

“I DONT LOVE YOU!”

On that last shriek, Katsuki tossed and turned before waking up in a cold sweat. He tried to catch his breath as he came to the realization.

“Just a nightmare, Katsuki. She still loves you.” Bakugou panted out. He lied back down in bed and thought about it.

‘She loves you....and she won’t judge you for whatever. So in the morning, make it up to her.’ He thought to himself.

“Make it up to Teddy Bear.” He said as he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

—

In the morning, Katsuki got ready and ran out of his room looking for you. It was a school day and the class was about to have breakfast. He saw you standing with Mina and Jirou and quickly ran up to you and grabbed your hand.

“You’re coming with me.” He said and ran off with you, hand in hand.

“Wait where are we go- WOAH!” You said before he dashed through the hallways and dragged you back into the direction of your room.

As you looked down, you saw your hands intertwined. It made you blush as you ran but you smiled nonetheless. As you made it into your room, he locked the door and you finally questioned him.

“Suki? What’s going on?” You said as you fixed your now winded hair.

“Get dressed teddy bear, we’re having the whole day to ourselves.” Bakugou said with a smile.

“Huh? Suki I know you’re not dumb, but you do know we have school right?” You said as you looked at him with suspicion.

“Y/N, we’re perfect students. We can miss one day of class. We’ll be fine, I promise.” He said, but you still gave him a look with an unsure face. So he went up to you, grabbed your hands, and kissed your knuckles.

“We’ll be fine, Teddy Bear.” He said with a soft smile as he stared you in the eyes.

“....Ok then.” You said smiling back. You pecked his lips and got ready. Once you both were set, you walked out the dormitory and headed towards wherever.

“Hey Suki, where’re we going?” You asked him as you once again walked hand in hand. It was obvious he had a clear blush on his face and was a little nervous, but he still walked on with confidence.

“Well, I was thinking maybe your favorite ice cream parlor, walk around the outlet and shop or maybe just do that thing that you girls do and say “this is cute” to everything,” he snickered, “and then I was thinking a little lunch and end it off with a date at the park at sunset.”

“Sounds amazing.” You said with serenity.

“With you, always.” He said while looking at you.

So now you and Bakugou have been having your little day together. Running around the city, getting your favorite ice cream, a little shopping and some more food. He even brought you to see the puppies in the pet shop. That was your favorite part of your day, until this happened.

As you and Bakugou walked down the street hand in hand, you guys held small talk and laughed.

“So..I’m allowed to hold your hand now, I see.” You said while teasing the blushing boy. He only looked away and squeezed your palm tighter as he spoke.

“Dumbass, I would’ve let you if I-“ but he was cut off by an officer.

“Hey! You two! You look like students. Shouldnt you be in school?” One of the two officers said.

“Uhhh...” you and Bakugou froze up as you made eye contact with each other.

“Heyyy...wait a minute. You’re Katsuki Bakugou and Y/N L/N. You guys are top students at UA! And you’re skipping?!” The other officer said.

As you and Bakugou began to babble over your words, the officer who first spoke up cut you off and said..

“Sorry kids, but you’re coming with us.” He said as he reached out to grab you guys, but before he could Bakugou grabbed onto your hand again and ran off.

“Sorry! But you guys are NOT messing up my date!” He said as he ran with you. He took a bunch of twists and turns as the officers chased you both, until he came up with a plan. Running down a dark alleyway, he took a breath, and looked at you.

“Hold onto me, Teddy Bear.” He said with a smirk.

“Suki! What are we doing!?” You said with shock.

“We’re going to our final stop Princess, so just trust me.” He said as he pulled you in. You hesitantly agreed before you wrapped your arms around his neck. With that, he blasted off into the sky, but not before screaming at the cops once more.

“Later!”

The view from the sky was gorgeous, especially as the pink sky and setting sun settled in. This truly was an amazing day. As Bakugou kept on flying throughout the air, you saw a park come into view. As he landed, he brought you to a hill where a picnic blanket with all your favorite sweets and desserts were settled. The blanket was also covered with candles and roses, with the shade of a beautiful cherry blossom tree offering a chill spot in the hot weather. It was beautiful.

“Suki? What is all this?” You asked in awe.

“The perfect way to end our date. Cmon.” He said as he pulled you towards the blanket. You both shared sweets, told stories, laughed, and cuddled up. Bakugou sat up against the tree with you in between his legs. You both relaxed in each other’s touch and watched the sun.

“Hey...can I ask you something?” You asked while your head leaned on his shoulder. Bakugou knew what was coming, guess there was no avoiding it now.

“Shoot.” He said, accepting your question.

“It’s not that serious but why was I never allowed to hold your hand before. Like...it kinda made me feel outta place. Made me feel like you didn’t want people to know it was me that you were with.” You explained.

“Princess..I never wanted you to feel that way,” he began as he nudged his head into your neck to comfort you and him. “Of course I want people to know I’m with you, I want the whole world to know that I have the best girlfriend there is, and I don’t want anyone but you.” He explained.

“Guess I’m just kinda insecure.” He said shyly.

“Of what, Suki? You’re amazing, and not to sound ignorant, but there’s so many amazing things about you, it’s hard to see you being insecure about anything.” You replied.

“My hands. They may be the source of my power and they may allow me to do great things like pull you in for hugs,” he said while cuddling into you even more which had you both giggling a little, “but they’re also a big mess. My quirk comes off of the sweat of my palms, I can only imagine how weird it must feel whenever I hold your hand so I tried to avoid it for the longest time. I just didn’t want to push you away Teddy Bear.” He said said a little sadly.

As you stared at him in concern after his little confession, you saw how nervous he looked. It must’ve taken a lot for him to open up that much about an insecurity like that. So to relive him if his worries, you grabbed onto his hands and gave them kisses. You turned to him and peppered his face with kisses too.

“I love everything about you Suki. It’s hard to see any flaws when it comes to you. Whether it be your hands or your big mouth,” you teased, “I love it all. I love you.” You ended with.

Bakugou only looked at you in nothing but love and adoration. He really did have the best girlfriend in the world.

“And I love you Y/N.” He said with a small smile. You both leaned in to share a heart felt kiss that shared both the emotions you were feeling. All the love, relief, and admiration to one another was transferred through a warm kiss. When you both separated from the kiss, you leaned into his chest again and cuddled up once more. As his entire body holds you in his arms, you couldn’t help but fall in love even more or feel even safer than ever before. All this love and feeling.

“All the love in the world in these hands that hold me.” You softly mumbled under your breath to yourself with a smile. You thought it was quiet enough for just you to hear, but Bakugou heard. And he couldn’t help but fall in love with you even more.

A/N: NOT SPELLCHECKED AGAIN, I’m sorry but I’m hope this request was to your liking. Please enjoy and stay tuned for the upcoming series. Just one more request and we’re good to go! 💗🧸

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thefanficmonster · 4 years

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You Call It A Mess, We Call It Baking

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tons of fluff

Summary: A friendly argument via Discord leads to a baking session. Said baking session leads to a kitchen looking like it was the victim of a tornado. The lesson here is: don’t leave Corpse and Y/N in the kitchen together.

Requested by Anon, thank you so much for your request, hope I captured what you wanted well and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Corpse’s POV

I’ve been sitting in a Discord call with Y/N for about three years now, keeping her company as she’s editing some footage Sean sent her earlier. In the meantime, I’m reviewing the recently submitted stories by my viewers, reading some lines I find funny or downright terrifying to her.

“When I went in the kitchen to check on the cake, it was already out of the oven, a sticky note next to it on the counter that read: ‘smells nice’. My blood ran cold.“ I read the eerie sentence that is suggesting one of my most frightening scenarios - a stalker getting inside your house. I get chills just imagining what was probably going on in the sender’s head when they saw that.

“Jeez, it’s been so long since I’ve cooked something other than omelet.“ I hear Y/N reply absentmindedly, completely neglecting the fear factor of what’s going on in the story.

“Good job missing the point.” I chuckle, my eyes continuing to scan the email until my brain actually comprehends what she said, “Wait, you mean to tell me you have baked anything ever?! No offense, Y/N, but I was honestly doubting your ability to make an omelet as well. In all the years we’ve been friends I can’t remember you ever not saying ‘I hade takeout’ when I asked you what you had for dinner.”

The scoff that comes through my headphones is the most adorable thing ever. She’s one to easily take a joke and never get offended by anything, but I know how heated she can get with her sarcasm. If I’m being honest, I’m always here for it.

“There are many things you don’t know about me, Corpsy. A girl’s gotta have some aces up her sleeve.“ I can just imagine the narrowing of here eyes and the tilting of her head as she says that. She has a very specific way of expressing her thoughts. When we first met I accidentally made the comparison to one of those children’s books that have pictures, stories and small buttons for audio. That comparison has stuck with me and I look back at it very often. To fully catch her point, you don’t just listen to her. No, no, no. You focus on every change in her face and body. The way she looks away during certain parts of her speech, the way her voice plays with several different tones at once. Her posture while speaking. Just like those books - you don’t just listen to the audio, you look at the pictures and read the text.

“Well you know how much I like playing poker, why don’t you come over and throw those aces down.“ The last thing you should ever give Y/N is a challenge. She won’t only homerun it, but will never let you forget it either. When we met she was a girl with self esteem in the negatives, so seeing her brag about her achievements to me always brings me joy.

The details I’ve listed are pretty in-depth, aren’t they? That’s because I don’t want to let anything slip when it comes to her. This realization hit me early in our friendship and it was only like two years in that I finally connected the dots - this investment in her of mine was not simple nor platonic. Come to think of it, I reckon it never was.

“No way, I’m not changing out of my pajamas just to come to your house.” She laughs, once again making me picture her full body reaction to her statement.

I smirk, knowing I’m about to bring out my main weapon, “Oh come on, I’ve seen you in pajamas countless times. You can just admit you don’t wanna embarrass yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

I can sense her fuming even though she’s like two miles away. “I’ll be there in 15.”

She hangs up before getting the chance to hear me lose control of the laughter I’ve been suppressing.

Man, I love this girl.

Y/N’s POV

“It’s on.“ I say as soon as the door in front of me swings open to reveal the smug smirking face of my bestfriend. The foundation of my tough, unbothered act is shaken up by the outburst of butterflies in my stomach which occurs every time I see him. I can never look at this man and not turn at least a little red in the cheeks.

It’s been long since I self-diagnosed with the malicious ‘falling for someone who would never reciprocate my feelings’ illness. I’ve been living with it for a while. What medication do I take? Dating other guys. One bad relationship after another, scolding myself that every one of them has been a desperate attempt to get him to change his gaze on me from ‘best friend’ to something more. Hell, I don’t even know how to define that ‘something more’. I once even tried to admit my feelings, but I was so vague and so incoherent that I didn’t understand myself, so how was he supposed to grasp my downright sad excuse of a confession.

“No ‘hello’, no nothing?“ He moves aside to let me in. I walk right past him with a sassy flip of my hair to mask the nervousness of being aware that his eyes were on me, “Rude.“ He murmured with an obvious smile in his tone.

He looks as cute as ever, black sweatpants and a black tee, hair messy as though he has just rolled out of bed. I can say with the upmost certainty that he’s the only one who can pull of that hairstyle.

I hide mine as I throw on the apron that’s hanging by his fridge, ready to take over his kitchen and put those aces of mine to use. I can’t help but furrow my brows when I see him enter the kitchen behind me and lean against the counter. That’s when I notice the counter is lined with all the ingredients I’ll need for the cake I had in mind.

“OK, what do we do first?“ he claps his hands together, straightening his posture as he gives me a expectant look.

It takes all my brain cells to prevent me from freezing up completely. I’m not usually like this, mind you, I’m a lot better at keeping what’s going on inside my head camouflaged. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I don’t have much time to dwell on that. If I do, he’ll pick up on it right away.

“Um, we are not gonna do anything. I will be here baking, and you will remain outside the kitchen until I’m done. If you need something, ask and I’ll bring it to you. I can’t have you sabotaging my project, impostor.” I narrow my eyes at him like he’s the most dangerous of threats. And he is, for my mental sanity.

He fakes a hurt expression, clearly fighting to the best of his ability to hide how much he’s enjoying messing with me. “We’ve known each other for five years, Y/N. Don’t you trust me?”

I lean over the counter to where we’re about two feet apart and whisper, “Not. Even. A. Little. Bit.”

He smiles, “You’re just trying to get away with making this cake by watching a YouTube tutorial. Admit it, you can’t even crack an egg properly.” His eyes are now as narrowed as mine as we stare each other down at a proximity that’s rapidly raising my body temperature and heartbeat. It’s not fair. I’m a mess around him so he automatically has the upper hand.

As expected, I give in, “You better not mess around though.”

After I force him to give me several different oaths, we start. I’m working on the batter, he’s working on the frosting. We decided to decorate it with crimson and dark purple frosting. We’re both really pick about the color shades so he’s currently struggling to get the crimson perfect.

“Let’s make it a layer cake.“ He suggests out of the blue, “Two layers, nothing crazy.“

I think it over for a moment or two before shrugging, “OK, but then you better grab a bowl and help me with the second layer. You know how to make the batter, right?”

He confirms that he does and walks out of my line of sight. I hear him open the fridge as I whisk the eggs I have cracked with the sugar.

“You want something to drink?“ He asks while rummaging through the fridge.

I decline, try to focus on the recipe that I have somehow memorized to the smallest of details. As I’m reciting the it silently to make sure I didn’t skip any steps with the batter, I feel something cold run down my back causing me to scream.

“What the fuck was that?!“ I turn around and glare at him just as the ice cube slips out from under my hoodie and falls to the floor. The fucker’s laughing whole heartedly, not giving a damn that he just gave me a mini heart attack. Mainly cause I thought it was a roach or something, and he know I hate bugs.

“You do realize how boiling red you are, right? You look like a lobster. I thought you needed something to cool you down.“

Instead of being annoyed, I do a full 180 and decide to play his game, “Yeah, I know...” I trail off, reaching my hand back towards the bowl of flour. Grabbing a a handful of the white powder I throw it at him before he can even catch on. Needless, to say, his outfit and hair aren’t so black anymore. “Ah, I knew your hair would look good with snowflakes in it, but you can never be too sure.”

“This means war, Y/N.” His smile is borderline malicious, getting me excited for what’s to come.

Him and I have always had these so called wars, but never like you’d imagine. We are silent, strategic, subtle. Neither of us knows when the other will attack until it’s too late. That’s why instead of going for a counter-attack right away, he heads to complete his mission of making the batter for the second layer.

All is quiet except the noises of the utensils clinking together every now and then. I keep a close watch on him out of the corner of my eye and I notice no sus behavior. That is until I see him take a spoonful of his batter and eat it. I whirl around at the speed of a gust of wind, eyes wide, “Do you want to fuck up your guts.” He ignores me as he takes another spoonful, bringing it close to his mouth. This time, I grab onto his arm causing the contents of the spoon to spill on my hoodie.

I roll my eyes, unbothered by the brown stain that by some miracle missed the apron and fell on my grey hoodie, “Don’t. Eat. The. Batter. Copy?“

“Paste.“ He nods, smirking with pride as he puts the spoon aside.

I sigh and return to my side of the kitchen, focusing on the next task: poring the batter into the circular baking tray which he, for some reason, has two of. He repeats the task soon after me and we put the two trays in the oven. I help him with the frosting, getting the shades close enough to what we had in mind.

After about five minutes of the crusts baking, a wonderful smell spreads throughout the kitchen. At this point, all we have to do is wait for the oven to signal that our cinnamon crust is ready to be taken out, wait for it to cool down and then frost the cake.

“It smells really good.“ He comments, turning his head to look at me.

I’m sitting atop the kitchen counter and Corpse is standing next to me. This is the only time him and I are at approximately the same height. The realization brings a thought to my mind, one that makes me feel like an evil mastermind.

“Hey, remember earlier when you said I couldn’t crack an egg properly?“ He hums affirmatively, “Well...“

The carton of eggs is within arm’s reach. I grab an egg, chip it off the side of the counter and crack it apart above his head, its contents coating his hair. “How’s that for a proper egg crack?” I ask victoriously.

He lets out a surprised sound, something between a gasp and a laugh. Shaking his head to get the yoke to fall down, he says amusedly: “I don’t know...you tell me.”

Too late for me to do anything. There’s milk all over me.

The malicious smile on his face is replicated on mine and now it’s really on. However, as we reach for the items meant to be out weapons, the oven dings.

Frosting the cake goes about as well as you expect: there’s more frosting on us than the cake itself.

“Let’s make amends, please. I’m so not looking forward to taking three showers tonight.“ I say, raising a white napkin and waving it around.

“Fair enough.“ He shrugs and we shake hands.

As I’m about to pull my hand back, he holds onto it, making me look up at him. Our eyes lock and I suddenly regain that same shakiness and vulnerability I always have around him. It never leaves me, I just manage to ignore it. The sound of my panic is muffled by the sound of my heart thumping the loudest it has ever.

Expectedly, he is the bold one who makes the first and final move. The move to end one era of us and start another. His lips touch mine and all fades. It’s just him and I. The friends who were never just friends. The cowards who suck at dealing with emotions. The fearful little kids that are afraid of rejection because we both mean so much to each other, to the point of suffering to prevent the possibility of losing one another.

We embrace who we are, finally admitting that friends is not what we are meant to remain forever.

The kiss might’ve been brief, but the meaning it carries makes it the most valuable moment of my life. One I’ll cherish forever. Something in his eyes tells me he will too. That’s all I need. That’s all we need. No words are necessary.

Suddenly, our bubble bursts as a result of his ringing phone. He lets go of one of my hands and takes his phone from the counter.

“It’s Dave”, he smiles, picking up the call and turning to get me in the camera frame. “Hey Dave, look who’s here with me.“

I wave at the camera and at the baffled face of Dave. “Hi!”

“What, in the name of God, is that mess?“ He raises both his eyebrows as his eyes scan us and the kitchen behind us.

“You call it a mess, we call it baking.“ Corpse and I look at each other and smile, blushing as red as the streak in Dave’s hair.

“Am I missing something here? Did I call at a bad time?“ He asks, still struggling to rationalize what he is seeing.

“Yeah, you actually did. I’ll call you back.“ Corpse dead-ass hangs up on him, putting his phone away before turning to me, “We have more important matters at the moment.“

He kisses me again, this time more confidently. His arms wrap around me and prep me up on the counter, insinuating that this kiss won’t be as short as the last.

#corpse husband #corpse #husband #corpsehusband #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse husband fanfic #x reader #reader #fanfiction #fanfic #corpse simp #request #requests open #romance #friends to lovers #love

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specialagentsergio · 4 years

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wish i were

summary: Emily’s back where she belongs, but she’s learning that you can’t come back from the dead the same as you were before. Spencer’s reeling from betrayal and broken trust. Then there’s you—their safe port in the storm. But you’re not okay either, and you have a choice to make.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: lots of swearing, mentions of/implied sex, mentions of vomiting (nothing descriptive), fighting, negative feelings towards other team members, bittersweet ending

a/n: it’s finally here. thank you all for your patience. i wasn’t planning on posting angst and unrequited love on valentine’s day, but i don’t want to wait another day to post this; i’m kinda sick of looking at it tbh. anyways, i hope you enjoy it and it lives up to your expectations. sorry it’s so long. apparently i have a lot to say.

word count: 8.7k

series masterlist || masterlist

Ten weeks ago.

“Absolutely not,” Emily croaks out. Her voice is rough and broken from the breathing tube, and it hurts her throat to speak, but she ignores it. “No. I won’t do it.”

She can hardly believe what she’s hearing. She’s only been awake for a few hours and she’s already fed up with the bullshit the world is throwing at her. Right now, it’s in the form of her boss asking her to fake her own death. “You can’t seriously think this is an acceptable solution.”

Hotch is unreadable, his unit chief face firmly in place. “It’s for your own safety.”

Emily scoffs, then immediately winces at the pain that shoots through her midsection. But she continues. “So put me in a safe house or something. I’m not making my friends bury me.”

“It’s for their safety as well,” he replies. “Doyle’s still out there. He’s targeted them before. You know he’ll do it again to get to you if he finds out you’re alive.”

“Then let them in on this,” she argues. “They can keep a secret.”

His expression slips—just a little bit, but she sees it. It’s hesitance.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” she asks, a feeling of dread settling over her. “I want to see her. I’m not making a decision like this without her.”

Hotch folds his arms over his chest. “It’s not your decision to make, Emily,” he says quietly. “It’s already done.”

Her breath catches in her throat. She looks him up and down, searching desperately for any sign that he’s lying, that this is all just some cruel joke, that any second now you’ll be walking through the door, a smile on your face—

There are none.

Her lungs burn and she’s forced to take in a breath. “You son of a bitch,” she whispers. “You... son of a bitch. How dare you? How dare you.”

He doesn’t so much as flinch as her voice increases in volume, which only serves to make her angrier.

“How fucking dare you! You let me see (Y/N) right now, you bastard!”

The door opens—her heart leaps—

It’s JJ, who, if Hotch is to be believed, is the only other one to know about this. JJ hurries to her side and reaches out, but Emily yanks her arm away.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she snarls. “You—” Her eyes land on the water pitcher on the table in front of her and she lunges forward, the searing pain it causes barely registering. She seizes it and throws it with all the force she can muster.

Hotch doesn’t move out of the way, letting it hit his chest and soak the front of his clothing. Its accompanying cup follows, then the TV remote. It’s not until she grabs the vase of flowers that he ducks out of the way. The glass shatters on the floor. All the while, she’s screaming obscenities at him.

JJ tries in vain to calm her down, holding up her hands placatingly. “Emily, please—”

“Don’t talk to me!” she yells. “You have the audacity to come in here and speak to me when you know I’m alive and my girlfriend doesn’t!”

“Emily!” Her voice is stern. “I understand you’re upset—”

“Don’t use your fucking mom voice on me, Jennifer, I’m not a fucking child—”

“What’s going on in here?” A pair of nurses enter the room, no doubt drawn by the commotion.

“She’s bleeding,” JJ answers immediately. “I think she might have aggravated something when she sat up.”

“She’s not supposed to be sitting up at all. What did you two do?” one of the nurses scolds.

“She just got some bad news—”

“Well, isn’t that a nice way to put it!” The nurses are trying to coax her into laying back down, but Emily resists it. “A really great way to describe the two of you trying to force me into letting my family and girlfriend think I’m dead!”

“I think some of the stitches tore,” the second nurse says.

“Go get the doctor,” the first one instructs an orderly standing in the doorway.

Movement catches Emily’s eye and she looks towards it to see Hotch taking a step backwards.

“Don’t you dare leave!” she screams. “I’m not done with you, you motherf—”

“Agent, please, you need to lie back.”

“And you two need to leave,” the older of the nurses says.

Then there’s a third person at her side. Judging by the white coat, it’s the doctor. “What’s the problem?” he asks them.

“She’s agitated and we think some stitches might have burst.”

“Damn right I’m agitated!” Emily cries. “They’re trying to—I—” She looks past the doctor to find that JJ and Hotch are gone.

“Emily, we’re going to give you something to help you relax,” he tells her.

Her vision goes blurry and she can’t figure out why until she feels the tears sliding down her cheeks. She lets the nurses push her back now and her head thumps against the pillow. “Please—” she chokes on a sob. “Please, I want to see my girlfriend.”

“What’s her name?” the doctor asks kindly.

“(Y/N). We’ve been together for almost a year. I need…” Her limbs are starting to feel heavy. “I need to call her, or—or something. She thinks… she thinks….”

“Shh, you’re okay,” one of the nurses soothes. “You’re going to be okay.”

Emily blinks slowly and shakes her head. “But she won’t be. She…”

The world fades to black.

---

There are tear stains on your pillowcase.

That’s the first thing Emily notices when she walks into your bedroom. She recognizes them so quickly because similar ones were on her pillows in Paris.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to run the sheets through the wash,” you say when you notice her looking.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” She sets her bag on the bedside table, careful to jostle Sergio as little as possible. He’s in her arms, pressed against her chest and purring loudly. He definitely remembers her—she’d been a little worried that he wouldn’t.

Emily is absolutely exhausted. It has been a very long day. Doyle is dead, Declan is safe, and now all she wants to do is take a nice, hot shower and curl up in bed with you. But you haven’t been able to keep eye contact with her for more than a few moments at a time.

She expected something like this to happen. She knew once the relief of seeing her alive wore off, there was going to be a heap of more, uglier emotions surfacing.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

You glance up at her just briefly, busying yourself with stripping off the pillowcases and replacing them with a clean set. “I don’t know what to say, Emily,” you sigh. “I just… I don’t.”

She strokes Sergio’s back a couple of times to calm herself before replying. “You can say anything. You’ve been through so much, and I… I’m not going to hold what you’re feeling against you.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

It confirms her suspicions. “(Y/N), you’re allowed to be mad at me,” she says. “Hell, you could even yell at me if you wanted to and I’d be okay with it.”

You snort. “I don’t want to yell at you. But, um, could I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“Okay. Well…” You shuffle from one foot to the other. “I’m… not really sure how to ask this, but, how… how did this happen?”

Your voice is hesitant. You’re holding back, but Emily can read between the lines. “You mean, how could I let you think I was dead?” she corrects softly.

You breathe in sharply and wrap your arms around yourself. Your eyes are wet when you look up at her and nod.

Emily tries not to let her next words come out too fast, lest it seem like she’s dismissing your feelings or making excuses. “I didn’t get a choice.” Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. “When I came to after surgery, the funeral had already been held.”

Your mouth drops open. You stare at her for a few seconds, then blink several times. Your eyes move around, focused on nothing in particular as you try to process what she’s just told you. Eventually, they settle on the bedroom door behind her. “I’m gonna punch his face,” you whisper.

Emily can’t stop the genuine laugh that bubbles out of her. “Yeah, Hotch heard similar things from me.”

“Oh my god, Em,” you breathe out, and her heart skips a beat at the nickname. “That must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun,” she admits. “But at least I knew you were alive and that I’d see you again someday. It can’t come close to what you went through.”

You shake your head. “This isn’t the suffering Olympics. It was harder for you in some ways than it was for me, I’m sure. Like, if I was waking up after being stabbed, I’d want my girlfriend there holding my hand.”

Emily’s eyes prick with tears as she listens to you, remembering how it felt to be at the hospital without you there to hold her hand through all the scary bits. But you? You had buried her, and now you’re here considering how Emily had felt throughout all this. She’s not sure if you’re actively trying to make her fall even more in love with you, but if you are, you’re succeeding.

“I can’t promise to never be mad at you about this,” you continue, “but I’ll take being mad at you for actually being alive rather than being mad at you for dying.”

“That’s… really mature of you,” she observes.

“I started seeing a therapist a few days after the funeral,” you say with a shrug. “Can you put Sergio down and help me change the bed sheets?”

She nods and places him gently on the floor. She’s about to ask why you’re wanting to change them right now, when you’re clearly just as exhausted as she is, when she finds a tie wedged between the top and fitted sheets at the foot of the bed. She frowns as she lifts it up—it’s not one she recognizes as yours or hers, but she does think she’s seen it before.

“Oh, so that’s where that went,” you say.

“I don’t remember you having a tie like this. Is it new?”

“It’s Spencer’s,” you clarify.

“Oh. What… what’s it doing in your bed?” she asks hesitantly.

“He would stay over sometimes when I couldn’t sleep and he’s too long—“ you spread your hands apart “—for either of the couches.”

“I see.” Emily smooths out the wrinkles in the fabric and crosses the room to put it on top of the dresser, trying to tamp down the sting of jealousy. The other side of your bed is supposed to be hers.

“Nothing happened,” you say and she realizes she’s frowning.

“I know,” she replies, and she does—she just wishes it had been her in the bed with you. But you’ve at least given her a good lead-in for her surprise. “Anyways, you wouldn’t have even had the time with the amount of online Scrabble you were playing.”

Now it’s your turn to frown. “How do you know about that?”

The corner of her mouth turns up. “I was there for every game, sergio2010.”

It takes you a moment to put it together. “You’re cheetobreath?” you ask. “I thought that was JJ.”

“It was her idea,” Emily says. “And that’s what you were supposed to think.”

Your reaction delights her—you start laughing. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I had to stick it to Hotch somehow,” she defends, barely holding back her own laughter.

You shake your head fondly as you finish tucking in the fresh sheets. Emily helps you spread the comforter back over the bed and return the pillows to their spots. She isn’t sure what to do after that, though, and nervously clasps her hands in front of her. You’re silent for a few seconds, watching her from across the bed.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” you say eventually.

“Um, okay,” she replies. “But you know, I could go stay at a hotel instead if you’d prefer.”

You shake your head. “You’re gonna join me.”

“Ah.” Emily swallows, part nervous, part thrilled. “That’s… I mean, yeah. Okay.”

You hold out your hand in invitation; she circles the bed and takes it.

After, when you’re both clean and settled into bed, she pulls you as close to her as she can. “This is so nice,” you sigh into her skin. “You’re so soft, Em.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “Um, thank you?”

“Spencer’s bony,” you explain.

Emily snorts. “Yeah, I know. I fell asleep on his shoulder on the jet a few years ago and it was painful.”

You giggle. “Did you know he talks in his sleep?”

“Morgan’s mentioned it. You learn anything else when you were snuggled up with him?” she teases, running her fingers through your damp hair.

“It wasn’t like that,” you protest. “We didn’t snuggle. I’d just kind of… press my forehead on his arm and one leg against his.” Your voice lowers as you continue, “I just really missed being close to someone.”

“I did, too,” she whispers back. “I wish it had been me, but I’m glad you had him.”

You nod against her in agreement. “I love you, Emily,” you say, briefly tightening your grip on her.

“I love you, too,” she replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “So much.”

You drift off to sleep quickly, and she’s not far behind.

It’s the best sleep she’s had in months.

---

Spencer’s barely heard from you since the hearing last week.

He’d gotten plenty of texts from Jennifer (all of which he ignored), but only a few from you. That’s probably normal for most adult friends, but not for you two, especially so when the fact that you were the only two people not to apply for reinstatement to the BAU is taken into consideration. He thought that he’d be able to seriously talk about it with you, to share his feelings and maybe work it out together. But all he had gotten was a brief message:

Emily was reinstated, so I’m going back, too.

It left him frustrated, but when it came down to it, he understood—he was the same. Since you were going back, so was he.

On Monday morning, everyone’s first day back together, he gets off the elevator and is immediately confronted with the last person he wants to see.

“Hey, where have you been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend,” Jennifer says.

Spencer barely resists rolling his eyes, instead keeping them fixed on the file he’s holding. “I had to deal with some stuff with my mom.” It’s not a lie—he did have to check in with his mom. It just didn’t take as long as he’s implying. “Have you seen Garcia?”

“Uh, she’s with Rossi,” Jennifer answers, and she sounds startled by his behavior, but he doesn’t care. You’re at your desk, and as he passes by, he takes your arm.

“Wha—Spencer?” You’re taken aback, but you let him pull you along and into a file room.

“What?” you repeat when he turns to you after closing the door.

He tucks the file into his bag, the folds his arms over his chest. “I barely heard from you last week.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together. “Well, yeah, I’ve been busy,” you say. “Emily’s moving in with me so we’ve been taking her things out of storage and to my apartment to unpack.”

Spencer glances away, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest. Just two weeks ago, he was in your bed and he’s quickly been replaced. And sure, he knows you don’t feel that way about him, but it was easy to pretend you did when you were asleep right next to him. “Not busy enough to make a decision about work,” he points out.

“So?”

“You’re the only other one who didn’t apply for reinstatement to the unit,” he replies. “You’d think that would be something for us to talk about.”

“You never said you wanted to,” you say, giving him a little shrug.

He doesn’t resist the eye roll this time. Does Spencer know he’s being a bit unfair? Yes. Does he care? Not particularly. No one bothered to seriously check in with him last week. He wasn’t expecting everyone to, but he was expecting it from you. He’s only been at work for five minutes, but his emotions are already running high, and he doesn’t care to reign them in. “I didn’t think I’d have to.”

“You should’ve. I can’t read your mind.” Now you’re getting defensive. “And what does it matter, anyways? You’re not my boyfriend; I don’t have to run my decisions past you.”

“I know that,” he snaps. He really could have done without hearing you say that. “I’m just there to warm up your bed when you’re lonely is all, huh?”

You’re shocked for only a moment before pivoting to anger. “I didn’t make you do anything. You could’ve said no. And I certainly don’t owe you anything from it.”

“Clearly,” he mutters.

You heave an angry sigh. “Look, I know you’re mad about the whole thing, but don’t take it out on me. I don’t know why you’re so surprised that I wanted to spend the past week catching up with my girlfriend after thinking she was dead for ten weeks. If you wanted to talk, you should’ve said so. Stop being such an ass.”

Spencer doesn’t answer. You’re right, and he knows it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to admit it. He just looks down at the floor, avoiding your glare.

When it becomes clear to you that he has no intention of responding, you mutter, “whatever” under your breath and duck behind him, walking out of the door and leaving him alone again.

---

The case has been miserable.

In rural Oklahoma, their unsub is burning his victims with acid. Not the worst they’ve seen, but not pleasant, either—this job never is.

You’re still mad at him, which is bad enough, but he’s also had to watch you be far more… touchy with Emily than you ever were before. It’s not super apparent—you still keep it professional at the local P.D. and when you’re out on work assignments, but you’re going out of your way to find any excuse to touch her that you can outside of that.

Then there’s the motel they’re staying at and its thin walls. He heard a few things last night from your room next door. It was quickly followed by shushes, but he heard enough to infer what was going on. So he’d dug his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag. It had been a good solution at the time, but then he’d fallen asleep with them on. As a result, he’d slept with his neck at an odd angle. It’s midday now and it’s still aching.

To top it all off, there’s Jennifer. He’s been trying to keep his distance from her, and had thought the snide remarks he hadn’t been able to hold back might encourage her to stay away. But she keeps pressing the issue, and when she tells him she thinks he’s mad about micro-expressions, he can’t hold it back anymore.

“You think it’s about my profiling skills? Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

She protests, so he brings up Dilaudid. He knows it’s a low blow, and that she still feels guilty about them splitting up all those years ago, leading to his abduction and subsequent problem, but he doesn’t care. He just wants her to hurt like he is.

The team is staring and Emily says his name, but he just tells Jennifer that it’s too late to be sorry and leaves without another word.

Outside, he sits on the curb in front of one of the SUVs and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He’s not alone for long, though. Just a few minutes later, he hears footsteps coming from behind him. The sound that involuntarily comes out of his throat can only be described as a growl.

“God, Jennifer, what do I have to do to get you to understand that I want you to leave me the fuck alone!” he nearly yells.

But it’s not Jennifer that answers. “It’s me,” you say softly.

Spencer sighs. He drops his hands from his face but doesn’t open his eyes. “What?”

“Can I sit?”

He’s not sure he wants to be around anyone, but it’s hard for him to say no to you. “Sure,” he says dully.

You join him on the curb, but keep a few feet of space between you. You don’t say anything, though, just sit quietly, letting him make the first move.

“How are you okay?” he asks eventually.

“What?” You sound incredulous. “I’m not sure where you got that idea. I’m so mad at Hotch that I can barely breathe when I’m in the same room as him.”

Spencer considers this for a moment, recalling when everyone’s been in the same room during this case. He realizes that since he’s been preoccupied with you touching Emily and trying to avoid Jennifer, he’s missed how you tense up whenever you see Hotch, and that you keep him out of your eyesight whenever possible.

“But you’re fine with Emily,” he observes. That does honestly confuse him, because he’s mad at Emily as well. And if it had been you in her place? He’s not sure he’d ever be able to forgive you, even without you knowing the way he feels about you.

“For the most part,” you say. “I still feel a little mad at her sometimes, but it helps me to remember that it wasn’t her fault.”

He finally looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Being alive in Paris and not telling you isn’t her fault?”

“She didn’t really get a choice. When she woke up after surgery, the funeral had already happened,” you explain. “Hotch made the decision without her.”

“Hmm.” He files that information away to think over later. “And Jennifer?”

You shrug. “I can’t be too mad at her, since she did so much for me during those weeks.”

He snorts. “Yeah, out of guilt.”

“Probably, yes,” you concede. “But not having to pack up Emily’s things and take them to storage myself, feeding Sergio and bringing him to stay with me, bringing me hot meals when I was surviving off of cereal alone because I could barely get out of bed, let alone cook for myself… it went a long way.”

On the one hand, it’s a bit comforting for him to hear how Jennifer helped the woman he loves. On the other, she could have ended your pain with three words—Emily is alive—but she didn’t. She let the woman he loves suffer the pain of the loss of a partner.

And she sure didn’t bring him hot meals.

This shouldn’t surprise you, Spencer. You’ve always been the afterthought. The burden. You should be used to this by now.

He clenches the fabric of his pants in his hands. “That doesn’t make me any less angry,” he mutters.

“That’s fine.”

“You can’t expect me to just—wait, what?”

“That’s fine,” you repeat. “I’m not trying to tell you to just get over it or whatever because she was nice to me. Like Em told me, you’re allowed to be mad.”

Spencer bites his lip, resisting the urge to ask you to stop calling her Em. You’re the only one that calls her that—or rather, is allowed to call her that, and it’s obvious why. It’s also similar enough to you calling him Spence that he’ll always start comparing himself to Emily when he hears it, and he’s been trying to stop doing that for months.

“Maybe you just, I don’t know,” you continue, drawing him out of his thoughts. “You could just try to be a little less passive aggressive with JJ?”

He opens his mouth, about to flat-out refuse, but before he can, you tack on, “For me? Just a little bit?”

God damn it.

“Only if she stops bothering me,” he says bluntly.

“Yeah, she, um… she was crying when I left, so I think she’s got the message now,” you say quietly.

He feels a bit guilty upon hearing that, but not enough to apologize, or even really regret it. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, he rationalizes to himself. She’s the one who decided to push it anyways.

After a few moments of silence, you reach out and pat his knee. “I love you, you know.”

He knows what you mean, knows that you don’t mean it like that, but his heart still skips a beat. He responds to you with a nod.

You push yourself to your feet, tell him to take all the time he needs, and you’ll see him when he’s ready to come back in, then walk away.

When he’s certain you’re out of earshot, he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

---

Emily sits down across from him on the plane, and Spencer is immediately reminded of the morning after he caught you and her together. That time, Emily had folded her hands in front of her on the table. This time, she slides something across it to him. He looks up from his book and sees his missing tie, wrinkles ironed out and folded neatly.

“It was in her bed,” she explains when his brow furrows.

Spencer wonders if that made Emily jealous.

He’s not a good enough person to not hope it did.

“Thanks,” he mutters, putting it away in his bag.

Emily’s quiet, but she doesn’t leave. She must have something else to say. He sighs. “What is it?”

“Are you going to Rossi’s house tomorrow night?” she asks.

He looks back down to his book. “I don’t know. I’m not so sure I can make it.”

“Okay. Well, Reid, you can be mad at me for as long as you need to. I’m okay with that.”

Spencer frowns. He kind of wishes she wasn’t being so nice and understanding. It makes it harder to be upset with her, and he wants to be upset with her.

“I’d like to say something to you, though, if that’s okay,” she says.

He reluctantly looks back up. “What?”

Emily holds his gaze. “Thank you,” she says earnestly.

He blinks. “Uh, for what?”

Her voice wavers slightly with emotion as she speaks. “For looking out for her when I couldn’t.”

His eyes drift away from Emily and to the couch where you’re sleeping. “My pleasure,” he replies quietly. When he looks back at Emily, she has a curious look on her face.

For the first time, instead of panicking over keeping his secret, instead of shying away, Spencer looks right back at her. A few seconds later, he thinks he sees a flash of realization in her eyes, but it’s so quick he can’t be sure.

“Well, thank you,” she repeats, and takes her leave. He watches as she leans down and tucks the blanket closer around you. He closes his eyes, leans back in his seat, and imagines a world where he was the one adjusting it instead.

---

“You’re gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. And then you’re gonna have a bad day.”

Emily can barely get the hotel room door open, her hands are shaking so much. A bad day. What Hotch called it, she thinks, was a bit of an understatement.

She’s just come back from taking a witness statement to help wrap up the piano man case—or rather, she was trying to take one.

“I was told that you would only give your statement to me.”

“Why didn’t you let me pull the trigger?” Regina asks.

“Because you would be in prison.” Emily understands why Regina is mad at her, and she’s fine with taking the brunt of it. Lying to her to stop her from shooting the unsub was the right thing to do. “I know it’s hard--”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like…” Regina pauses briefly, anger radiating off of her. “When the monster from your nightmares comes back for you.”

Emily breaks eye contact and looks down. She knows exactly what that’s like.

Regina recognizes it. “Wait--”

Redirect, redirect, redirect. “Look, I’m here as a courtesy--”

“Something happened to you.”

“So do you want to give me your statement or not?”

But Regina is relentless. “What did you do to him, huh? Did you arrest him like a good FBI agent? Or did you kill him?”

Emily sits down heavily on the spare bed, drawing your attention away from packing up your things for the flight home. “Em?”

She just shakes her head, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and closing her eyes. “It was the right thing,” she whispers to herself. “It was the right thing. I did the right thing.”

You sit down next to her and place your hand on her back. “What happened?”

Emily swallows hard, feeling sick to her stomach. Her hair is sticking to the back of her neck; she tilts her head to try and dislodge it. You catch on and pull it to the side for her.

“Talk to me, baby,” you urge gently. “Just something, anything I can do to help.”

She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to speak. “I—I think,” she stutters. “I th—think I just ruined a woman’s pe—peace of m—mind for good.”

You start rubbing circles on her back and ask, “How?”

“You know, when they talk about victims getting revictimized by the system, they mean you.”

Emily shudders involuntarily. “I… you know how we found the unsub with a—a victim?”

Slowly, in sentences fractured by gasping breaths, swallows to hold back the nausea, and even a few sobs, she recounts what Regina said to her.

You murmur something under your breath that she doesn’t catch, then, ever so gently, you pull her into your arms.

Emily Prentiss isn’t one to break down, not in her own home and especially not in front of others. She controls any “negative” emotions as best as she can, her feelings only displayed through a trembling voice, misty eyes, or run-down nails. Screaming, tears, and nervous gestures were not befitting of an ambassador’s daughter, after all, and those habits formed in childhood have stayed with her until this day.

But there’s one person who’s the exception. There’s one person with whom those walls just don’t seem to exist. That person, of course, is you.

You pull her into your arms, and Emily Prentiss breaks down, because she can. She can because she knows you’ll be there to help put her back together again.

“You never had a chance to mourn your own death, did you?”

She hadn’t understood what her therapist meant when she said it yesterday morning, but Emily thinks she does now. This time last year, what Regina said would have unsettled her, and she would have felt sorry for her, but she probably wouldn’t have dwelt on it much. It’s not last year, though. It’s this year, and she’s coming undone in your embrace over Regina’s words, words she knows will never leave her.

“I didn’t pull the trigger.”

“Still… your monster’s dead. I have to live with mine. That’s my statement.”

Emily has a promise to keep, so she boards the jet early. A few minutes later, Hotch slides into the seat across from her and waits. It still takes her a few moments to collect herself enough to say the words.

“I’m having a bad day.”

---

Spencer’s not sure if you’re going to be able to keep doing this job. He became very familiar with your nervous tics and outward signs of stress during those weeks, and now he can notice them almost immediately.

You seemed okay for the first few months. A few habits cropped up now and then—biting your lip, tapping each fingertip to your thumb in turn—but that was fairly normal. It’s a stressful job.

But then your bottom lip starts getting chapped again, and during conversions with anyone other than Emily, you’re quiet; you often have to be prompted to share your thoughts.

He tries to find out what’s wrong, but when he asks, you shut it down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” he says quietly. “But, um, you probably should talk to… somebody, you know?”

You barely look up from your paperwork as you respond. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve been seeing a therapist since this whole shitshow started. I’ve got Emily, too. If anything, I should be telling you to go talk to a professional.”

Spencer just says “okay” again, then a few minutes later he excuses himself to go hide in the bathroom and nurse his hurt feelings. He knows you weren’t trying to be mean. Flipping around the suggestion to him most certainly came from a place of love. But he’s not interested in receiving any kind of psychiatric care—he’s actively opposed to it. So being told anything of that sort upsets him and often makes him angry.

Today it’s just salt in the wound, though. The wound itself is Emily. And god, does he ever feel guilty about the resentment that crops up every time her name is in your mouth. She was dead, and every day she was gone, he wished she weren’t. He cried countless tears over her and would’ve given anything to at least be able to say goodbye.

Then the impossible happened—she came back. He didn’t have to say goodbye at all. And sure, there was the initial relief and happiness, and the warmest hug ever, but now he finds himself resenting her. He’d never wish for her to be gone again, but he can’t stop the jealousy, no matter how hard he tries.

Recently, when Emily was shot during a case in California, he held back your hair as you leaned out of the door of the SUV and threw up upon receiving the news. Spencer Reid would never deny that he’s a germaphobe, but he wants that. He wants to be the one taking care of you, the one whose shoulder you fall asleep on, the one going home with you at the end of the day.

He doesn’t want Emily gone, never, ever again, but he wants you back. Those ten weeks, as awful as they were, weren’t the worst he’s had, because during that time, you were always seeking him out. He knows you didn’t want him that way, but if Emily had really been gone, he thinks one day, that might have changed. The thought always brings tears to his eyes.

Still, he would settle for having you the way he did during the years before he fell for you. Things just haven’t been the same since Emily came back. You don’t stay up late talking anymore. You haven’t a movie night in months. You don’t ask about the books he’s reading or what he did over the weekend. This is it: this is exactly what he was afraid of happening when he found you with Emily.

Spencer doesn’t think it’s personal. He thinks it’s because you’re barely hanging on these days, and just don’t have the energy anymore to do things like you used to.

It still hurts, though. He wonders if it’ll ever stop hurting.

---

Respite can come at the strangest of times and in the oddest of ways. Today, it comes to Emily in the middle of a hostage situation at a bank, in the form of a job offer.

The team is trying to find the I.D. of the Queen of Hearts, one of the robbers, when she gets a surprise call from Clyde Easter, her old Interpol Unit Chief, who gives her the information he knows about the unsub. He doesn’t know her name, but he reminds her that she’s seen the unsub before, at a robbery in Paris while she was living there. Then when the team learns that their unsubs want to fly out to Chad, she calls him back.

“Well, unfortunately Interpol doesn’t have many assets in that particular region in Africa. Maybe that’s something you could help me with when this is over.”

Emily scoffs. “Work for Interpol again? That’ll be the day.”

“Not work, darling. Run,” he corrects. “You see, I’ve been promoted. So, the team’s yours whenever you want it.”

“It’s a hell of a time to bring that up,” she says, ignoring the questioning glances she’s getting from you, Reid, and JJ.

Clyde asks her to think about it, but there’s no time to do that now. She pushes it to the back of her mind and goes back to work.

By the time the day is over, she’s tired. Just tired. You both narrowly survive the explosion in the bank thanks to the alcove you were in, trying to help two elderly patrons. Then a mere hour later, you scare the shit out of her by finding Will strapped to an active bomb and deactivating it yourself. So Clyde’s offer doesn’t come up again until the next morning, when light is spilling through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with a soft, warm glow.

You face each other in bed, legs twined together under the covers. “What was that about working for Interpol again?” you ask softly, tucking your arm under your head.

“Clyde was promoted,” she replies just as quietly, as to not disturb the peaceful morning feeling. “He offered me his old job. He wants me to run the London office.”

Your eyes widen. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

Emily blows out a breath. “I’d like to at least… consider it.”

You reach out, finding her hand in the sheets and lacing your fingers between hers. “What’s stopping you?”

“I’m sure you can guess,” she replies, squeezing your hand back.

“Well, then I think you’re more than just considering it,” you say. “You wouldn’t bring it to me if you didn’t want to take the job.”

Emily thinks for a moment, then admits, “I… I do want to take it. But I have to know what you think, honestly.” She was already robbed out of making one life-changing decision without you in this past year. She has no interest in that happening again.

“Honestly?” you repeat, shifting a little. At her nod, you continue, “I think it’s a good option for us.”

“Us?” she asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, us,” you affirm. “What, you think I’m just going to stay here if you move away?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe. This is the first time we’ve talked about something like this.”

“Fair point,” you say, then sigh. “We’re… both struggling here in D.C., Em. I know it and you know it. This place, this team. It used to be my home, but now, I just… it’s not like it was before.”

“You don’t trust Hotch anymore,” Emily says quietly.

You let out a small, broken chuckle. “I’ve tried. I’ve been trying so hard. I know he did what he thought he had to, but I just… I can’t.”

“It’s okay to feel that way,” she points out. She lets go of your hand to reach up and wipe away a tear that breaks your lash line. “In fact, I’d say it’s reasonable, with what you went through.”

You close your eyes and nod, putting your hand on top of hers to keep it on your cheek. “I know it’s been hard for you, too.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I wanted to come back, and at first, I felt like I was home. But I just can’t go back to my old life and pretend that nothing happened. The only time I feel at home now is… well, it’s when I’m alone with you, just like this.”

“Emily Prentiss, I had no idea you were such a romantic,” you say, cracking a smile.

“Oh, stop,” she says, but she’s blushing. When your giggles subside, she speaks again. “I would love for you to come to London with me. But I don’t want you to forget what you’d be leaving. There’s still a lot of good here.”

You nod. “There is. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore,” you say softly.

“I understand. You can think about it. I don’t need an answer now.”

So you don’t give her one, not right away. But you do a few hours later. So Emily picks up her phone and dials Clyde’s number.

---

JJ’s a beautiful bride, but Spencer’s eyes keep drifting over to you. The dress you’re wearing tonight is wonderful; from the cut to the color, it suits you perfectly. But that’s not what’s really got his attention. It’s the way you’re carrying yourself. You’re smiling, and you seem truly happy, without any reservations. But there’s also a bit of sadness clinging to you, and he can’t tell what’s causing it.

The party has been going on for a while by the time he finds himself dancing with you. You’d asked him, and now you’ve steered him a little ways away from everyone else. “There’s something I have to tell you,” you say just as he’s about to ask what’s going on.

To his dismay, he doesn’t have a clue what it’s going to be. He doesn’t like not having at least an idea. He swallows, then says, “Okay.”

You can’t meet his eyes; you look down to the floor instead and watch your feet move in time together. So whatever it is, I’m not going to like it, he thinks, and his anxiety spikes. “What is it?” he asks, tightening his grip on you without really meaning to.

You take a deep breath, then look up. “Emily and I are leaving.”

His heart drops and he stops in his tracks, causing you to stumble a little over his feet. “Oh, shi—sorry,” he says. “I just—you’re leaving the BAU? But you’re still going to be in D.C., right?”

You sigh, then guide him off the dance floor and to a quiet spot not too far away. “You remember what Emily said about working for Interpol again yesterday?”

“Interpol?” he repeats, his voice pitching upwards. “You mean, like, overseas?”

“London, to be specific.”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know what to say. Things were a little rocky between you and him when Emily came back, and for a little while afterwards, sure, but recently he’d started to feel like he had his best friend back.

Apparently he couldn’t be more wrong.

Spencer’s used to people leaving. First it was his dad, then Ethan. Elle was next, quickly followed by Gideon. JJ was forced out, and although she ended up coming back, it didn’t erase the pain he felt in her absence. And then there was everything that happened with Emily.

So, Spencer’s used to people leaving. In a way, he almost expects it.

He just wishes it would stop hurting so damn much.

What is it about me? he wonders. What is it that makes people run away? There’s clearly something wrong with--

“Hey!”

He jumps, startled out of his introspection. When his eyes refocus on you, you put your hands on your hips.

“I don’t appreciate people being mean to my best friend, you know,” you tell him seriously.

“Uh…” He blinks a few times. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“That includes him being mean to himself,” you continue. “I know what you were thinking.”

“What? No, you don’t,” he protests.

“Don’t I?” You put the tip of your finger on your chin. “Was it or was it not something along the lines of, people always leave me, why do they do that, there must be something wrong with me?”

He hates that you’re right, so he doesn’t answer, just scowls and looks away.

“It’s not true, you know.”

“Sure,” he mutters. Sure it isn’t. You’ve only just added your name to the list.

“I mean it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look at me.”

Spencer doesn’t, and your resulting sigh sounds so frustrated, and then he thinks, Oh, great work, Reid. (Y/N) tells you she’s leaving and what do you do? You piss her off. Honestly, it’s no wonder--

And then your hands are on his face, cradling his cheeks, and he’s too surprised to resist your gaze anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Spencer,” you say, your voice equal parts firm and gentle. “You didn’t drive me away. Not even close. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He sniffs, trying to hold back the sudden onslaught of emotions you’ve just caused. “Well, I could have gone without picking a fight with you on our first day back at work,” he says, sniffling again.

“What’re you tal—Spencer, that was almost a year ago.”

“Nine months.”

“Whatever. The point still stands. You’re not why I’m leaving, okay? You’re…” you trail off and he’s alarmed to see your eyes grow wet. “You’re the opposite, actually. You were the only thing keeping me here when Emily was gone. And now, you’re why it’s so hard to leave.”

“I am?” he whispers before he can think better of it.

“You are,” you affirm. “I think Emily’s actually a little worried you’re gonna talk me out of it.”

It gets a laugh out of him, but right after a little sob escapes him and he squeezes his eyes shut. When you hug him, he immediately reciprocates, wrapping his arms around your middle tightly.

“Hey, this isn’t the end, okay?” you say, and he can tell from the way your voice is trembling that you’re crying, too. “I know you like to ignore it, but we do live in the digital age, and I’ll be hounding you to talk to me at least once a week. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I’d certainly hope not,” he murmurs, resting his head on your shoulder.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just holding each other, trying not to cry too much. Eventually, you pull away. “Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving first thing in the morning. Our flight isn’t for another ten days. I’m gonna be around.”

Spencer nods. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeat, then swipe at your face, clearing away the tears. “Um, we should head back. You still owe me a dance.”

And dance with you he does, swaying gently from side to side with his hand resting on your waist. A look over your shoulder shows Emily and Derek dancing in a similar manner; judging by the way he’s holding her, she told him the news as well.

He has an eidetic memory, but Spencer makes the effort to commit this moment to his brain all the same. He wants to remember the way you’re holding him, resting your head on his chest and running your thumb over the back of his hand every so often. He wants to remember how your skin feels against his, the texture of your hair. The lighting in the backyard and the way it makes you glow. The words that you said, telling him that it’s not his fault, that nothing’s wrong with him. He’s not quite sure he believes it, but you’ve never lied to him before, so he’ll try to accept it.

The song ends, and tears threaten to fall again when you pick up your head and take a step back.

“Hey, no more crying tonight,” you say. “Because if you start crying, I’ll start crying, and I don’t want to cry any more tonight. Save it for my grand exit at the airport terminal.”

That makes him break into a smile and he’s able to blink back the tears. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if I take this dance?” It’s Emily, and she’s looking at him, head tilted in your direction.

“Oh, um.” He clears his throat. “No, um, go—go ahead.”

He passes your hand to her, and what he feels is silly. You’re not some prize to be won; you don’t belong to anyone other than yourself. But he feels like he’s passing you off to Emily, almost… entrusting you to her. The look Emily gives him makes him think she understands this.

“Wait,” you say before she can properly take you into her arms. You lean towards him and press a kiss to his cheek.

Spencer doesn’t stay around to watch you two dance. He retreats back into the house, fingertips on the spot you kissed. He lets them sit there for a moment, then forces himself to drop his hand. It’s far past time for him to try and move on. He doesn’t want you to leave, but it might be what he needs.

Maybe, just maybe, with some distance, he can begin to heal.

---

On the first day at work without you, Spencer finds a small frame on his desk. He immediately recognizes the picture inside of it—it’s the one you’d kept as your lockscreen for months, much to his dismay.

It’s a picture from the relatively early days of your friendship, well before he felt anything that wasn’t platonic towards you. You’d dragged him out on a weekend off to a nearby amusement park, because, “you can’t die without having ridden a roller coaster at least once, Spence.” He had no desire to do so, but he didn’t have any other plans, so he went along with it.

The roller coaster ended up making him vomit, and the picture is from shortly after that. You’re holding up the camera with one hand and making a peace sign with the other, smiling from ear to ear. He still looks a little queasy, only managing a small smile, but he still looks somewhat happy. And he was, that day. Other than the nausea, he’d had a lot of fun with you.

He picks up the frame and feels something on the back of it. He flips it over and finds one of his lilac colored post-it notes, displaying your handwriting.

“When it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

Tears blur his vision. Doctor Who. Of course you picked Doctor Who. And you’ve written something else, too, in smaller letters:

If you don’t answer my calls at least twice a month, I’ll tell JJ you’ve been stealing from her Cheetos stash for eight years. Love ya.

He laughs out loud, a little wet giggle that he has to follow up with a sniffle. He slips the note under the frame’s felt backing to keep it safe, then rearranges his things until he settles on the perfect spot for it to sit on his desk. He retrieves a fresh sticky note and scribbles down a reminder to himself to call you when he gets home, sticking it the cover of one of his books. After all, he can’t have JJ knowing about his thievery. The team’s good at what they do, but he doesn’t think anyone would be able to find his body once JJ’s done with him.

His eyes drift back to the photograph, coming to a stop on your face. He misses you already. He even misses the ugly bits, when you’d snapped at each other, when you were crying on his shoulder. When he saw you with Emily that first time. It’s an odd mix of emotions. Longing, nostalgia, grief, happiness, safety. Belonging.

Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Spencer couldn’t agree more.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

oh my god, i can hardly believe it’s over. there’s still going to be a small epilogue, but it’s optional. thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who read and supported this series and your enthusiasm for it. you’ve made me so very happy. and if you relate to spencer in this, i want you to know you’re gonna find your someone someday. if that’s what you want, i believe you’ll find it eventually. much love to all of you. 💖

series taglist: @sobereinstein , @zizzlekwum , @goldensatine , @closetedreidstan , @afuckingshituniverse , @uswntxx , @johnmulaneyslut , @90spumkin , @mcntsee , @zhuzhubii , @shadyladyperfection , @mggbler , @eva-cadeau , @esmesisle , @anothergayinthelife , @wecouldbreakthedistance , @zozoleesi , @calm-and-doctor , i think that’s everyone?? so sorry if i missed you.

#spencer reid x reader #emily prentiss x reader #spencer reid fanfic #emily prentiss fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #angst #spencer reid #emily prentiss #my fic #my god this took so long #i also referenced im3 twice in this i am a tony stan first and foremost lol

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mxchellesworld · 4 years

Text

Helping Hand

Spencer Reid x Reader

*tw below* please read the info before the fic and proceed with caution

Request; Hey Ik that this may be super dark and feel free to skip it if you want but I was wondering if you could do a BAU! Reader where she has an eating disorder and Spencer realizes it and tries to help her through it while not alerting the team per her request. I’m not trying to romanticize eating disorders at all and I totally get it if it’s to hard

Warnings; eating disorders, mentions of throwing up, starving

a/n; this request hit me hard because these are things that i struggle with to this day. over the summer i dove into a really bad pit so many of the instances mentioned are based off of things i have done. i feel like this really helped me put something negative into a place of comfort. please know i am not trying to romanticize eating disorders or invalidate any other aspects i didn’t mention.

if you need help please reach out to someone you trust or a professional, its not easy but i promise people are there to help :)

You didn’t know what triggered it.

That was a lie, you did. You just chose not to acknowledge it and act like everything was fine. Why place the blame on someone or something else when it was just your fault.

Maybe it was when you noticed how much easier the girls got into dresses whenever you went shopping. JJ was easily a size 0, looking as stunning and glowing as ever in the little dresses you guys would pick out for her to try on. How she could so swiftly slide in, never having to ask to a size up or help with getting the zipper up past her back.

Maybe it was when you did that yoga class you saw how good everyone looked. Even after the intense class the other participants came out glistening and smiling in their matching sports sets. While you on the other hand had sweat stains trailing on the neck of your old gym shirt. Why had a workout made you feel worse about yourself than you did when you started?

Then it was like every little instance was adding up. Pushing and pushing you back into old habits you thought you had outgrown. At first you got the excitement of seeing the quick progress. Within two weeks you could see the small changes. But that was mostly your mind tricking you. As the months went on then you knew the progress you were making was in more than just your head.

It felt so good walking into work and hearing the hoots of

“wow you look so good!”

“that top looks so nice on you”

“you look different now, but its a good different”

That just fueled the need to keep going. You didn’t think anyone would notice because whenever anyone would ask what your secret was you’d say “Oh I’ve been trying fasting.” or “I just workout more often.” Which wasn’t a lie but of course you couldn’t tell them to what extreme.

You couldn’t mention how 16 hour fasts soon turned into 20 then a whole day surviving off coffee and gum. How those workouts were never for your enjoyment. How you would rack up as many sit ups as you could just to burn off any extra calories possible.

Or how you couldn’t eat a meal normally anymore. If you weren’t counting the calories you would make that trip into the bathroom and try to get rid of the contents of your stomach.

However someone did notice - Spencer. He was your best friend and you guys used to spend everyday together. So when you started to pull away it caught him off guard. He thought that maybe he had done something to offend you. Then when he had asked you about it and you shrugged it off he was thrown for a loop.

Then he really saw it. After your talk you started hanging out with him again but he noticed you always refused any outings where food was involved. Even then he noticed that you would pick around your food, never fully finishing the meals you used to one love.

Or at work instead of going down to the food truck for lunch, you would decline saying you weren’t hungry or that you had a big breakfast.

How during cases you would get dizzy spells and be tired more often. He used to have to keep up with you and Morgan always having bursts of energy out there but now he was keeping an eye out to make sure you didn’t pass out on the field.

He knew he had to say something when he noticed the tears in your eyes while out at dinner with the team. You had picked out a small salad, tossing the green leaves around the plate and taking minimal bites. Then desert came and you shared a few bites of chocolate cake with Emily. Shortly after you had excused yourself to the restroom, coming back a few minutes later with your lipstick gone and watery eyes. He knew what you did in there.

At first he was upset with himself for not noticing sooner. He knew what it was like to go through a tough time without support and he didn’t want his best friend to have to deal with something on their own. He would do anything he could to try and help.

When walking out of the restaurant he came up to you, “Hey Y/n, do you want me to take you home so you don’t have to get on the metro?”

“Yeah Spence that’d be great thank you,” you said smiling at him and walking to his car.

The ride to your house was spent listening to music. He let you play with the radio, seeing how you perked up to the music, emitting a happiness he hadn’t seen on you in a while.

Arriving at your apartment you invited him in to watch a movie and catch up. You handed him some sweatpants and a t-shirt he had left from past sleep overs which he took into the bathroom to change. You met back in the living room. You had on a big sweatshirt, sweatpants, and fuzzy socks.

“Y/n you look like it’s gonna start snowing in here,” he said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood.

“Damn near. I’ve been so cold recently.”

He tried to stop the fact from coming up but his brain wouldn’t let him keep it down, “feeling cold is one of the leading symptoms of an eating disorder including fatigue, sleeping issues, and irregular menstrual cycles.”

You both sat there with wide eyes. Neither of you knowing what to say. You looked down and started picking at your nails, chewing on the inside of your lip.

“When did you know,” you asked still not looking up.

“A little while ago but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he started, “I- I didn’t want to say anything to upset you. I just want to be here for you Y/n in any way I can.”

You looked up to meet his eyes which were also getting glossy, “The shine in your eyes is gone. You don’t eat the pasta Rossi brings or Penelope’s cupcakes anymore. You’re hurting yourself Y/n and I couldn’t live with myself if anything bad was to happen.”

You shifted in your seat on the couch to get yourself in his embrace. You sighed as Spencer wrapped his arms around you, letting out the sob you felt was stuck in your throat for months.

“I’m sorry Spencer,” you choked out, “I don’t know whats wrong with me.”

He shushed you and rubbed his hands on your back, letting you cry on his chest. It broke him to see you in pain, knowing he could only do so much to help.

“You’re going to be ok. I’m right here and I’ll always be here to help you if you want me to be,” he said into your hair.

You pulled away and he wiped your tears off with this thumb, “Please don’t tell the team a-about this,” you hiccuped, “I just don’t wanna worry them, and I know Hotch will make me take time off.”

“Hey hey I won’t tell them, I promise. But if you feel like it’s getting worse then you need to at least talk to Hotch. I’ll take time with you and make sure to be with you every step of the way.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Spencer. I love and appreciate you so much. Thank you for being you,” you said leaning into his palm.

“I love you too y/n. But don’t thank me, I don’t know how to be anyone else.”

You went back to your previous position of having your head on his chest where he continued to rub your back and whisper reassuring phrases in your ear. You didn’t know when you ended up falling asleep but you knew that whenever you woke up you’d be ready to get help knowing you had Spencer in your corner.

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fic #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler fic #matthew gray gubler x reader

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that-spider-fan-over-there · 3 years

Text

What's this? Another fandom calling out post?! Yes, because I'm fucking pissed off right now, and I think y'all know why, it was trending all over Twitter.

(Y'all can skip this, I just have to say something, or it's gonna bother me. Rant under the Read More.)

For those who don't know, TommyInnit made a tweet that wasn't phrased correctly, or thought about critically, involving a joke about Jschlatt (ugh), and, predictably, Twitter got mad about it.

I'm not gonna say I defend him, I know full well that wasn't the greatest course of action. This part, I say Tommy needs to take responsability for and educate himself, that was a tweet in poor taste.

So, why am I pissed off? Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because:

The No. 1 trending tag I saw is /Tommy Neg, because jumping to cancel a 17-year-old is more important than actually trying to educate him, even if he should've done this before, doesn't mean he'll automatically know what he said wrong.

Tommy actually tried to address that yesterday, and instead of listening, the "solution" was putting him on the spot enough to give him anxiety and delete the VOD!? Excuse me?!

I don't know what Tommy tweeted in the past, since I just entered this fandom, but calling a kid transphobic, homophobic and racist on Twitter, or right to his face isn't helpful, it just perpetuates ignorance and makes him even more nervous to open up, especially if it's something he did in the past.

Actually, posting a list of 1000 reasons why someone is problematic is not activism, it's just pretentious and self-righteous bullshit.

Is he not allowed to mess up? Are mistakes off the table for him? Isn't the point of educating him actually pointing out where he went wrong so he can grow?! No wonder he's taking a break from Twitter!

Saying he's playing victim because... He said he's going to therapy!? He didn't even need to say that, and yet he decided to share he's not in a good mental state, and that he's seeking help, AND THAT'S THE RESPONSE?!

Yeah, these are parts of the reason I'm basically a ticking bomb right now, but do y'all wanna know the main reason!?

Because it's fucked up that these people put a seventeen-year-old kid in a pedestal, and the moment he messed up, these people are just as willing to turn on him. To say he's a horrible being for not knowing what he did wrong. That they show no regret for giving him anxiety on a stream where he tried to address this. That people would rather pick apart what he say to and twist it.

That these people actually want him gone.

#the spider rants #TommyInnit #MCYTTWT Critical #MCYT Twitter #MCYTTWT Discourse #A.K.A. the epitome of ignorance #I don't care if it's late to say something #Just. What in the absolute flying fuck!?#And. Sadly. I think most of you know what I mean by 'wanting him /gone/'.

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butchdanvrs · 3 years

Text

Today I... Pictured I Was Driving Home To You

rating: Teen & Up

pairings: Carol Danvers/Reader

word count: 1.8k

content/info: alcohol usage, drunkenness, mutual pining, possible unrequited love, fluff, nb friendly <3

Every time you thought you had it. Every time you thought you were good. Every time you thought you could move on and that feelings would fade.

Every thought, every time-you were wrong.

Carol Danvers had you. And she didn’t even fucking know it.

Every time you shared a kiss with someone you wished it was her.

Every time hands landed on your hips or waist; you wished it was her.

Just the sight of her made your heart race and blood pound in your ears.

You had it bad for her-but you already knew that. Really it was more than that.

For what felt like forever, this unknown feeling would twist in your stomach along with stealing your breath away and you didn’t know what the fuck it was... until you did.

You were in love with Carol Danvers.

Hopelessly, stupidly, deeply in love with her.

Your eyes are on her long enough that you’re grabbing another drink-some unassuming and pretty looking cocktail that’ll get you on the way to being fucked up if you have more than one.

After an hour of dancing your clothes are sticking to your skin, and heat washes over every inch of you as you down the cocktail-too consumed in your own mind with thoughts of Carol.

If it wasn’t her eyes, it was her smile; if it wasn’t her smile, it was her voice; if it wasn’t her voice, it was the way she moved and the energy she exuded.

You were so past whipped it was almost fucking pathetic.

And it was-is pathetic. Because Carol Danvers had no interest in you.

You were only ever spared a close-lipped smile, a wave, a polite and friendly hand on your shoulder… nothing else, nothing more.

You ached for more.

You wanted her to look at you. To smile at you-one of those big, bright, wide and cheerful smiles that fucking melted your heart.

You wanted her to touch you, in more than a friendly or polite way. The touch of a lover, filled with intimacy and cherished thoughts and intent.

And you needed her to see you-to see you out on the dance floor, to look at you as being more than a friend.

But for now, you’ll settle with agreeing to dance with a cute stranger-the music flowing through your every movement and keeping you occupied.

So no, you don’t care really, when someone pulls you into them, wordlessly asking for a dance. You just smile and start dancing-not minding much when they get a little too handsy and participate in a little bit of mouth on mouth.

You’re feeling warm and like you’re floating, so yeah, you let a few people kiss your neck-too needful of the person you want the most, but are scared you can’t have in the back of your mind.

The night rolls on quickly and slowly all at once, and as it gets later and later the crowd dissipates.

Then it’s nearly 2 am and she’s still here, and you’ve pathetically counted each time her eyes fall on you-which is easier to see now than in the middle of dancing bodies high on alcohol or pure adrenaline.

By the fourth look you head over to her, head still floating and stumbling a teeny bit.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” She smiles-and you swear it’s different from the ones she usually gives you. Whipped.

As you try to sit on the barstool next to her, your thigh slips and you grip the edge of the bar-your body feels like it’s on fire when Carol touches you; a hand soft and strong on the middle of your back, anchoring you.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Her eyes crinkle a little bit, the corners of her lips twitching upwards like she’s trying not to laugh at you.

The realization of how drunk you’ve gotten sinks deep into you and makes your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“I… I gotta go home.”

“Where’s your ride?” You shrug absentmindedly, and then scoff once you realize-your ride is gone.

“...I forgot I made a dumb choice and wanted to stay when they said they were leaving.” You groan a bit, cursing the decision.

Even though your body feels loose and light while your mind grows heavy, you’re hyper aware of how close Carol is to you.

You can almost still feel the warmth from her hand when it was on your back.

God, you had it so fucking bad for her.

You’re both silent for a short moment, watching each other, and time feels like it’s stuck, or maybe you feel like you’re stuck-stuck in her reach, stuck in her gaze.

But you break the moment, blinking a few times and looking away as you unnecessarily narrate your actions. “I’mma call a cab or somethin’...”

Her hand falls on your arm as you start reaching for your phone, and it stops you right in your tracks.

“No, come on. It’s 2 am in the city, let me take you home.”

The skin of her hand touches the skin of your arm and you can’t help but shake your head “yes”, watching her with-no doubt-wide eyes as she steps down off the stool.

Time freezes again, and you linger in a moment that you wish could last forever.

Stepping outside is easy, the smell of colognes and perfumes mixed with sticky liquor and sweat is replaced with smells of the city-exhaust fumes and aromas from a Chinese takeout place two blocks down.

The ride to your place is mostly quiet but not uncomfortable, soft tunes playing from the speakers on a low volume along with a comfortable silence was a big relief-after such a loud night with the bass so deep and heavy you could feel it bumping in your chest.

It’s like a cool breeze of air against your skin when your body temperature is rising. Or when you have a drink and it fizzes in your mouth, filling an unsatisfied craving.

Again, time plays a game with you as it seems to skip over itself, because one minute your head is lolling back onto the headrest and next thing you know, you’re walking to your front door-with Carol right beside you.

Your heart flutters at the consideration she shows, helping you get inside because she can tell you’re struggling with the lock on the door… and with taking off your shoes.

A groan of relief as soon as you hit your bed-the small part of your brain that’s not intoxicated cringing at the fact that you’re in your bed… in sweaty and boozy clothes random people grinded up against.

You don’t even realize you’d closed your eyes until you hear footsteps, panic rising quickly in your throat until you remember that Carol was there.

Carol Danvers was in your apartment with you.

Carol. Freaking. Danvers.

Carol Danvers was bringing you a glass of water to drink.

You hate to admit that you grumbled a bit like a child when you were given it, but drank most of the glass anyway because it was refreshing and most definitely needed.

She helps you put the glass on your nightstand to prevent it from falling and the feeling of her fingers against yours makes you feel a little jittery with nerves.

Now you’re wide awake, toes fidgeting under the sheets at the end of your bed as you watch her.

”Carol… can I tell you something?”

She’s listening, you can tell, brown eyes looking into you as if she can read your thoughts like an open book. It almost makes you backtrack-the words never mind it’s not important sitting on the back of your tongue.

“I-… Thank you for taking me home.”

She smiles and your heart aches as you sit up, willing yourself to summon a little confidence, a little bit of bravery.

But Carol’s still looking at you, eyes still searching you while you fidget with your fingers, heart beating a million times a minute when she asks, “Was there something else?”

You nod jerkily, your throat tightening, “I...I love you. I’m in love with you. A-And I have been for a while now.”

Your eyes blink back nervous tears, and there’s only a few milliseconds of silence before you’re talking again-feeling a weight come off of you that pushes you to keep talking until it’s all gone and no longer suffocating you.

“I should’ve told you a long time ago, I know, and ‘m sorry that I’m dumping this on you now but… I just- I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

Your eyes are flitting all around her face, nervously trying to read it and gauge her reaction. It’s only ten seconds later but feels like forever, the anticipation and anxiety of the moment of waiting for her response sat in your throat like a thick ball of regret about to manifest itself in tears.

“I’m sorry… I’m drunk, I shouldn’t have said anything, sorry. Just forget I said anything, okay.”

A hand on your shoulder stops you from turning your back to her, making you flinch as you look up at her. You’re still so terribly embarrassed and are dreading her reaction-expecting a negative one.

Instead, she steps closer to you, her head nears yours and your heart leaps a little in your chest at what she does next-her lips planting softly on your cheek in a small and sweet kiss.

You think for a second that you probably hallucinated it, wanting so badly for something to happen that your alcohol-induced brain conjured it up just to trick you.

But you know it was real when you realize her lips linger, and then she leans back, her hand slowly leaving your shoulder to rest on your cheek, her thumb rubbing it almost affectionately as her lips twitch upward, her eyes shining in the dark.

“Hey, tell me again… when you’re sober in the morning.” Her hand slyly moved from your cheek, fingers grabbing your chin softly and letting go of it as you nod somberly.

“Can… Can you stay with me? Please?”

She smiles warmly, an almost tender look on her face that makes your heartbeat a little faster-not able to help the feeling of hope coursing through your veins. Hope blossomed and bloomed in your heart so quickly you felt like you could burst.

“I’m not gonna leave you by yourself, princess. Get some sleep... I’ll still be here when you wake up. Okay?”

You nod softly, whispering a small “okay” in response. On the outside you’re silent and sitting still, but on the inside-the weight on your shoulders is gone and the tension in your muscles loosened in relief.

For the first time, with Carol, you allow yourself to feel hope as you fall down into your pillows, squirming until your sheets are tucked over your shoulders and under your chin-falling asleep comfortably but delighted about what’s to come.

#marvel fanfiction #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers fanfiction #carol danvers fluff #carol danvers fanfic #captain marvel #captain carol danvers

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Outside the Box

Request: It do be a sad day. So could i request a Spencer x Fem reader where she’s tall and heavier and she really likes Reid but he doesn’t know and she’s always comparing herself to JJ? And like one day she skips work for mental health day and he comes over and she tells him her insecurities and he’s all like “but I love that about you!” And they share their feelings? Thanks

A/N: Thanks for the request, @spencers-hoodrat! I hope it don’t be a sad day any longer and this fic cheers you up ❤️ I hope this fic does justice for your request and you find comfort in it! (PSA to everyone you’re all beautiful angels and deserve the world) Happy reading!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: None

Word count: 2.3k

--------------

You walked into the bureau early Monday morning feeling a sense of dread overwhelm you. Throughout the whole weekend, you had contemplated not going in on Monday. You felt off. Every time you passed a mirror you found yourself fixated on the image reflected at you.

“Hey, Y/N. How was your weekend?”

You turned around and saw Spencer walking towards you. You felt a sense of discomfort as you saw him. Did he feel as if you were disproportioned as much as you did? Being on the taller side was bad enough, but with the extra thigh fat and stomach weight made you feel almost undesirable.

You smiled at him. “It was fine.”

You could tell he didn’t believe your answer. It was hard being friends with profilers because they were always one step ahead of your lies. How do you tell someone you like your insecure about your height and weight comfortably? To tell him you felt disgusted with yourself and wished you were in a different body.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. Enough about me though, how was your weekend?”

“It was pretty fun actually. I was apart of a chess tournament at the park on Saturday. Super intense gameplay,” he said.

You giggled as you both walked towards your respective desks. The one thing you admired about Spencer the most was he didn’t know how funny he could be at times. He just lived his truth and wasn’t phased by how it may come off or if it made sense to anyone else. You wished you could live your truth as well.

As the two of you continued small conversation as you both got settled for the day, your eyes couldn’t help but wonder to JJ. She had just walked in with her perfectly slim and petite body. You stared at her as she walked to her desk to unload her files for the day. You felt rude for not looking at Spencer while he talked, but you always fell into a deep abyss of wishing you were smaller.

JJ looked up at you with a smile and waved. You smiled back and waved as well to not seem weird for staring at her for so long. Spencer turned around to look at JJ as well to greet her a loving good morning. You watched them interact with each other. The way he looked at her with so much love in his eyes was ridiculous. You wished he looked at you like that, but you didn’t blame him for not looking at you that way.

“Y/N?”

You looked up to see a concerned Spencer and JJ looking at you. You had zoned out as they were talking, not even realizing they had included you in their conversation. You snapped out of your thoughts and put on a smile for them.

“Sorry, guys, I’m just a little tired. What were you saying?” You asked.

“We were just wagering bets on if we’re gonna get a case today or not,” JJ said.

“I hope we don’t. I wish the weekend had been longer,” you said.

“You and I both,” JJ said.

“I kind of hope we get to do something brain-stimulating today,” Spencer said.

“Spence, you think going through 20 case files in five minutes is a fun time,” she said.

You eventually zoned out their back and forth bickering as you once again found yourself thinking about if life would be better if you weren’t you. Maybe you’d get more compliments from people. Maybe you’d actually have a boyfriend. Maybe Spencer would give you the time of day the way he gave JJ.

It had always been hard for you to find the confidence to be yourself. You always felt out of place in your friend group. You felt physically overbearing. One time a guy asked if you were into football because you’d be an amazing quarterback. That was his idea of flirting with you. Little remarks like that stuck with you for years. It was hard to see yourself for more than just your physical attributes since no one bothered to look past them.

One night you and the BAU ladies went out for some drinks. No surprise every guy’s eyes were fixated on JJ until they saw that ring on her finger. No one looked your way, not even once. If random strangers didn’t give you the time of day, you felt as if no one in your everyday life would either.

You felt tears starting to form in your eyes. You had shot up from your seat to go towards the kitchen. You couldn’t let JJ and especially Spencer see you crying. They would inquire about your mental state and you weren’t ready to tell them about your disgust with yourself. You didn’t want to bother them with your negative feelings. You could barely handle them yourself.

————

You decided to take the day off on Tuesday. You hadn’t told anyone besides Hotch you needed a sick day. You told him how you believed you wouldn’t be any value in the office with your state and opted to work from home. Hotch agreed to let you do that but told you not to push yourself. Sometimes he had a real soft spot for his team.

You tried to get through as many case files as you could in the morning, but you felt mentally drained. You found yourself not focusing properly on any of the information you had to read. After you struggled to get through 10 case files, you decided to give your brain a rest. You told yourself you would only nap for two hours.

When you had opened your eyes, you saw through the window the sun was already setting. You turned over on your bed to reach for your phone on your side table. You checked the time and let out a deep sigh. It was nearly 6 p.m. You forced yourself out of bed and made your way towards the kitchen to see what leftovers were still good to eat.

You opened your fridge and saw a bowl of this pesto penne recipe you tried a few days ago. It was pretty good but you didn’t feel like filling yourself up with carbs. You decided it might be a better decision if you grabbed an apple and went to do some work. You had already wasted time laying down not being any use.

You closed the fridge and walked over to your counter to grab an apple from your fruit basket. Before you sank your teeth into it, a few light knocks came from your door. You groaned as you put the apple down. You guessed dinner had to wait a while longer.

You walked over to the door expecting to see a package delivery you had forgotten you ordered. Someone should really take away your access to online shopping. You only indulged in it so much because you hated going into stores to try on clothes. You felt so embarrassed and judged. At least if you ordered clothes online you could try it on in the safety of your house and ship it back if it didn’t fit.

As you opened the door you were surprised to see Spencer standing there in his usual brown corduroy jacket, purple scarf and tan satchel. He was tightly holding a paper bag in his right hand. It seemed as if he didn’t go home after work considering he hadn’t finished long ago. You looked at him confused as if he lost his way home.

“Hey, Spence. What’s up? What brings you to this part of town?” You asked.

“I noticed you weren’t at work today and I asked Hotch if you were okay. He told me you weren’t feeling good, so I decided I’d pay you a visit after work to give you some soup,” he said.

He held up the bag of soup for you to take. You smiled and soon found yourself letting out a little giggle as you accepted his soup. It was cute how he believed you were physically sick. It was better than him knowing why you actually took the day off.

“Thanks, Spence. I don’t wanna get you sick, so I’ll talk to you later,” you said.

“You’re not actually sick, are you, Y/N?” He asked.

“I am,” you assured him.

“Not physically. No stuffed nose, no cough, no sweating, no puffiness under your eyes, no-”

“Okay, Spencer. I’m not physically sick. I just needed today for myself, that’s all,” you explained.

The way he looked at you confirmed his profiler mindset was kicking in overtime. He wasn’t about to leave you without a solid answer. He was stubborn that way.

“Y/N, if you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you, we can talk,” he assured you.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Can I at least keep you company for now until you decide to tell me the truth?”

You weren’t ready for him to say that. He had never been inside your place before. He had never even asked to before. You didn’t know he was invested in your wellbeing so much.

You sighed and stepped aside. You gestured for him to come in and he did. You locked the door and then turned around to see him with his hands in his pockets, looking at you with the same concern.

You smiled. “What’s wrong now? Don’t like my place?”

“No, your place is wonderful. I just don’t like seeing you so…defeated,” he said.

“Defeated? That’s an interesting word choice,” you said.

“I saw it in your eyes yesterday. You were in deep thought and it brought tears to your eyes. It looked as if you were reflecting on yourself.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You zoned out on JJ before you lost yourself in thought. I don’t really know why and I just want to know if everything’s okay with you mentally.”

You took a deep breath as you tried to avoid the tears stinging in your eyes from making an appearance. You hadn’t thought he noticed you at all yesterday since he was in deep conversation with JJ. He made you feel as if you weren’t invisible in his eyes.

“I’m okay. I just…”

“It’s okay, I’m here. You can tell me anything.”

When he said that you could feel the tears rush down your face. It was as if he knew the right words to say to you to break free of keeping everything in your mind. You saw as he watched you with patient eyes as you tried to gather the right thing to say.

“I-I…I never liked what I saw in the mirror,” you confessed.

“Why not?” He asked.

“I’m tall and on the heavier side. I look as if I play for the NFL. It’s embarrassing to even stand beside anyone smaller than me because I look like some sort of Goliath.”

“Y/N, I know it’s hard for you to believe this right now, but you’re not the size of a football player or Goliath. Comparing yourself to people smaller than you isn’t healthy.”

“I try not to compare, I really do. It’s just hard when you’re surrounded by beautiful, petite women everywhere you go and I’m just…”

“Just as beautiful.”

You calmed your sobbing as you looked at him confused. You didn’t know if you imagined him calling you beautiful or if he had actually said it. By the way his cheeks had turned a light shade of pink you assumed he had said it and meant it. You didn’t exactly know how to respond to that. You couldn’t even recall the last time a man complimented you without inserting comments about your stature.

“I admire you, Y/N. You’re an amazing person with amazing talents and you’re beautiful. You don’t fall into the box society tries to market to us as the “norm”, which I love that about you. I know it might feel as if this is coming out of the blue, but it’s my fault for not telling you how I felt towards you sooner,” he confessed.

“You…You like me? For real?” You asked.

He nodded. “For a while now. Morgan said if I didn’t tell you soon he was going to do it for me, but I just didn’t know how to express it perfectly. I also didn’t want to make things awkward if you didn’t feel the same way back.”

“I do,” you quickly replied.

He smiled. “That was easier than I anticipated it to be for all these months.”

You looked at him shocked. “Months?”

“Yeah, I’ve been admiring from afar for a while now. That’s not really important right now though. What’s important is that we sit down, have some soup and I can help bring some positivity to your day.”

You smiled as you walked up to him and embraced him in a big hug. He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you tight. You hadn’t felt so comfortable with someone holding you like that in a while. You let go of him and held up your bag of soup.

“What type of soup is it?” You asked.

“Vegetable soup,” he replied.

“Huh, maybe you do like me after all.”

“I couldn’t imagine someone who doesn’t.”

You smiled widely at his sweet words as he wiped the tears away from your eyes. You looked at him and felt as if a warm aura was surrounding you. You couldn’t resist but to lean in and kiss him. He kissed you back as he held your waist and pulled you close to him. If this was the way he expressed love, you didn’t think there was anyone else in the world who could compare.

—–

MASTERLIST

589 notes · View notes

haechanniesunflowers · 4 years

Text

Y/N's reaction to them being ill after the break up

Notes: this is part 2 of the break up series (is it really a series? Idk man all I know is that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell)

Warning(s): mentions of self-harming behavior, fainting, hospital, sickness, car accident

To read the break up part click here

Bang Chan

He regretted whatever he said but didn't have the heart to approach you first because he did you wrong by forgetting about the dates over and over again and now, you not being a phone call away was getting to him. So he did what he does best, buried himself in his work :') to forget about the break up. However he let things get out of hand, skipping meals and sleep. The boys didn't think much about it since he normally comes and goes when they're asleep or not at the dorms, anyway. Felix sensed something was wrong when Chan didn't respond to his texts, asking him if he wanted to go out for breakfast, lunch or dinner. He went to check up on him at his apartment, where he sometimes stayed when he didn't feel like coming to the dorms, but he wasn't there so he went straight to the studio. He finds Chan collapsed on the floor. "oh my God, hyung? Chan hyung?" he has Chan in his arms and calls their manager. Chan is hospitalized for dehydration, weakness and over-exhaustion. He doesn't gain complete consciousness, and keeps mumbling your name. Felix calls you to ask if everything is okay but to his surprise, you had no idea about what Chan had been upto for the past month. He meets up with you and you tell him what happened, he tells you about Chan's condition, making your already broken heart, break into finer pieces. You agree to see Chan and when you do, he's awake but looks like he's in a haze. You cry and take his hand in yours, he's attentive now and looks at you with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry" he says bitterly as he sobs. You kiss him "let's forget about it Chris, hmm?" you're both crying but happy to be reunited.

Lee Know

As much as he hates to admit it, he misses you so much. It hurts his pride because he put up a tough front but deep down he's longing for your touch. He's so sad about it and really hates himself for being ignorant and rude towards you, he takes it out on himself by dancing. All he does is practice dance routines everyday. His body is sore but he doesn't stop. With all the physical exercion he's doing, a sweet potato, an apple and salad won't make up for what his body demands. But does he listen to it? hell no. He keeps pushing himself to the edge, until one day, his body's like this ain't it bro and gives up on him. He's walking down the stairs with a bottle in his hand, feeling light headed and he collapses, falling down the stairs. Luckily (not really) Jisung hears his bottle fall on the staircase and goes to see if everything is alright. And everything is in fact not alright. He screams for help, the staff present on the floor all gathering around Lee Know's unconscious body. He's rushed to the hospital where their manager is told that he won't be able to walk or even sit up for a couple of weeks, oh and his right hand is dislocated from the fall. You see it on the news, and you can't stop yourself from going to him. He's laying, upset and angry at literally everything. He doesn't want the boys to see him, they completely understand and decide to give him space, telling him that they will always be here if he needs anything. But he needs you and they can't get you for him can they? They don't have to because you're already in his room, angry crying. "Minho I swear to God" he's really surprised, not expecting you to be here knowing that your pride is as big as his. "y/n you came!" "what have you done to yourself?" "it's really nothing, I just danced a bit too hard" "oh really, then explain that cast on your arm and not being able to sit up" "I fell down the stairs" "oh Minho, you're such a dunbass I know for a fact you haven't been taking care of yourself" "sshhhh please, I'm just glad you're here now" there's an awkward silence. You both say something and stop wanting the other to continue first. He starts "y/n I'm really embarrassed for acting the way I did, umm if you could give me another chance, I promise I..." no wait, he's not gonna repeat his mistakes again, making promises he can't keep. "I really really love you y/n, I feel like a fool sometimes when I absentmindedly think about you. I just want you to be around all the time, you make me happy" you blush at his words and squirm a little with your hands clasped "cute" he says and smirks. "I love you too Minho, I'm sorry for lashing out at you, I want us to be together again" he smiles warmly at you but in true Minho fashion, ruins the cute moment by saying "scratch the back of my knee for me please"

Changbin

He wasn't really ill, he just lost interest in things, not music though, that's his lifeline. The boys noticed that the only time he was not in the dorms was when he had a schedule or when he was busy with Chan and Jisung. Other than that he went straight to bed and didn't talk much. He gave up initiating a conversation, and only spoke when spoken to. Chan was growing increasingly concerned and asked him what was on his mind. He never gave a clear answer, always saying that he's tired or is not in the mood. But since he was behaving like this for almost a month now, it was beginning to effect his relationship with his members. Him and Lee Know would clash often, causing unrest among the group. Minho would always say that he was joking or that he wasn't even talking to him but Changbin was being aloof or rude to him and as his dongsaeng, it was wrong of him. One day Chan sat him down, "tell me what's up" "nothing" "this isn't the Changbin we know. Now I don't know if you've noticed or not and at this point I don't think you even care but whatever is going on with you is negatively effecting the team. If you don't want to talk about it then it's your choice but at least don't make things hard for the team. We can't work like this, this is our brotherhood and..." Chan stops talking when he sees tears in Changbin's eyes. "hyung..." he doesn't want to cry but he does, and reluctantly holds onto his arm "I miss y/n so much, I didn't know it would effect me this much God I'm so stupid. Why did I even talk back" he says, in sadness. Chan comforts him and tells him he'll do something about it. In any other situation, Changbin would've dealt with his problems himself but he trusted Chan and let him help. You got a phone call from Chan at work so you didn't pick up. If you trusted anyone in Stray Kids other than Changbin, it was Chan. So you make sure to call him back during your break and agree to meet with him at a small pastry shop. He tells you about Changbin and how it's effecting the team, making you concerned because that's not your Changbin. You call him later that day and he instantly picks up "hello y/n?" "hey uh how are you?" "I'm good" there's a pause. "I really miss you" he finally says. You're silent. "I know I didn't prooritize you enough and forgot about our dates or even spending time with you and asking how you were and how your day went. Fuck I can't believe it but I ignored our relationship for my own personal gains and that was so wrong and you know what I-"" Changbin" "yeah?" "you're rambling, stop, I love you and I want to get back together but you need to apologize to your members too". 'Thank God' he thought to himself.

Hyunjin

Our boy tried contacting you, but you blocked him from everywhere. He loved you dearly and didn't want to give up on you because he knew you were still in love with him too. It was obvious to everyone that something was going on in his life and he was visibly struggling everyday. Every time he made a mistake in the dance, he would scream and slap his head, Seungmin had to step in and bring him back to his senses. After a little buddy to buddy chat, he poured his heart out, crying harder than ever to Seungmin. He offers to talk to you on his behalf but Hyunjin declines saying that Seungmin doesn't have to clean the mess he made and also you won't spare Seungmin a glance anyway, like once you were done, you don't want anything to do with it. Hyunjin himself goes to your apartment to talk to you but you're not home. He waits for you on the stairs, determined to talk to you. 2 hours in it starts raining and it's so cold since the weather is transitioning for autumn to winter, shit he says but it's okay, he'll still wait for you. 3 more hours pass and you finally show up, passing him because you don't recognize the man sitting in the cold cold rain with his head dipped, wearing all black. You open your front door and hear your name "Y/N i-it's me, hi" he's freezing, your eyes soften and you pull him in telling him to change out of his clothes, handing him a towel. After a while you go to check up on him but he's still in his boxers and undershirt with the towel around his neck. He sees you and says "can we talk please" "no" you say "get dried I'll get you your clothes, I was gonna return them anyway" he starts coughing a little and sneezes, your eyes widen. Did he catch a cold?? you think because he had always been the sensitive type. The next thing you know you're sitting next to him, drying his hair. He grabs your wrist and says "I really miss you" and you fear that he's going to read your face now. He knows you so well after all and catches on, he knows you miss him too. Slowly leaning forward, giving you enough time to react, he goes in for a kiss. You sob in his arms for a while. "Hyunjin don't you ever, EVER leave my side again, I missed you so much you have no idea I was hurting" he sushes you. Now changed to dry clothes you're both cuddling in your bed when you realize something "...uh Hyunjin? did you kiss me after you mf sneezed and coughed??" oops "don't ruin the moment y/n let's be sick and in love together".

Han

You're both gloomy and hurting but that doesn't stop you from acting normal. Y'all literally make people laugh lift the mood and cry yourself to sleep at night. So when you're mentioned by Lee Know in front of the boys, asking how you were, Jisung didn't let anyone find out that you guys broke up, and replied casually that you were doing okay but really busy in your life. He tells him he wants to meet you but Jisung brushes it off saying that he just said you're busy. Lee Know is determined to get Jisung to call you at least and by the end of this, he has his answer. "you guys aren't talking to each other, are you?" Lee Know says proudly. Han gives a little nod, running his fingers through his hair. "hyung I need to clear my head, I'm going on a drive" Han says and Lee Know says "okay but be back in time for the third practice, I'm going to show you guys the choreography I made for the new song". 4 hours later everyone is wondering where Han is. Lee Know says that Jisung will be there, he couldn't have forgotten about the practice. Right? When more time passed, the guys continued without him, since he's not answering the phone either (Chan making a mental note to scold him for it). Finally, annoyed and concerned, Lee Know asks around for your phone number from mutual friends and calls you. "I want to talk to Jisung, give him the phone" is the first thing he says "excuse me?" "y/n it's Minho, I need to speak with Jisung, tell him to answer his damn phone and get his ass back to practice room before I whoop it" "...he's not here, I haven't seen him for a month now" Lee Know's eyes widen "then where did he go". The boys go to the dorms, extremely concerned when their manager calls Chan telling him Jisung got into a car accident. Now there's unrest and anxiety in the dorm. Chan and Minho go to the hospital with their manager. Lee Know already texted you about the details. Luckily he's not severely injured, only a neck sprain and a few bruises, nothing a weeks rest and herbal medicine can't fix. Jisung sees three pairs of eyes all filled with anger and concern. You, Chan and Minho scold him on his way back to the dorms, taking turns to tell him how irresponsible he was and what they're going to do to him once he gets home. But once he gets home, Chan and Minho let you at him first. You scold him again and he apologizes. You know what he's apologizing for so you kiss him with Chan trying not to go aww in the back and Minho making a perverted sound. You know Jisung wants reassurance about the relationship so you say "see you tomorrow" before leaving him with Chan and Minho cracking their knuckles behind a smiling Jisung.

Felix

This little baby will be upset all the time. Growing increasingly hard on himself over the month, being more clingy towards Chan. Like when Chan is just sitting there working, Felix would grab a chair next to him and rest his head on his back. And when Chan shifts in the seat, he would even sit on the floor, with his head against Chan's leg, playing games on his phone. As much as Chan loved Felix relying on him and being soft and clingy, he was on to him. Taking him out to eat one day, he'd ask him about it. Felix got embarrassed and tells him he doesn't want to talk about it right now. After dinner, they went for a walk, talking and laughing. Felix feels happy after so long, hugging Chan out of nowhere telling him how much he appreciates him and his brotherly love. Chan rubs his hair and back, not wanting to ask the question again. It's as if Felix read his mind, "y/n and I broke up" that answers everything. Chan listens to Felix patiently and gives him great advice, telling him that he needs to tell you that if the relationship really has no future, he needs closure, and if there's still hope, you two should sit down and talk (not acting on our own advice are we Chan). Felix texts you that he has something important to say and calls you later to say what Chan said. You thought that was very mature of him, clearly knowing Chan and him had a talk. You two meet, Felix fiddling with his fingers anxiously, not knowing where the conversation will go. "I'm very sorry y/n, I know I neglected you and took you for granted but if you give me just one chance, I will change. I promise to treat you better" you smile at this "Felix, let's not make promises right now, because we don't know what will happen in the future and what our circumstances allow, and I forgive you. I really missed you and your cute snuggles" Felix is shy and you hug him.

Seungmin

He was very understanding of how you felt and what you were going through. He felt it was best to give you space to clear your head so you could figure your feelings out. This is how he thought was best to deal with the situation, to give you all the time in the world while he just waits. But this did not prove to be the best for him as he was mostly lost in thought. How you were, did you eat, how was your day, did you have a shoulder to cry on, were you healthy and happy. He needed the answers, it was making him anxious. So it wasn't long that he started forgetting about things. Always being stressed out about your well-being. He started to lose focus on the choreography which made the others upset. Once, twice, thrice, this kept happening. He was bumping into the others or forgetting his cue. Everyone started getting irritated and it was time for a group meeting. Seungmin was more than embarrassed and was even more embarrassed to state the reason. And when he did, everyone else was speechless. He apologized and promised to stay more focused. After practice he went out for a walk alone. Hyunjin followed him and told him he wanted to talk. He convinced Seungmin to go and talk to you but he said you needed space. Hyunjin was like you got space for a month to decide, it's time Seungmin went and asked you, rather than suffering like this. He went with him there. He was scared to knock on your door so while arguing, Hyunjin knocked the door hard and hid behind the wall. Seungmin did the I'll kill you later son hand action and Hyunjin showed a finger heart. You opened the door, not expecting to see him. To his dismay, you looked weak and exhausted. His smile faded and he felt hurt. "y/n you don't look so good" "hi to you too Seungmin" you say sarcastically. "I don't know what to say y/n I'm here to tell you I'm really sorry for being a jerk and I really miss you, like really really miss you. You've been on my mind all the time and I can't stop loving you. Please forgive me, I want to be with you again, please" you've been waiting for him to say this so you tear up and hug him. "I missed you so damn much baby" you say. "tell her how you ruined the choreography too" Hyunjin says from behind the wall.

He shut everyone and everything out. He acted normal but was numb inside. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. He was so happy in his work and with you, what went wrong. The older boys tried talking to offer comfort and help in their own ways. Changbin decided to treat him to Korean BBQ, to cheer him up even for just a little while. They were out, just the 2 of them, eating and enjoying talking about anything and everything. Just as he was drinking coke, his eyes found a familiar face, and with the mental connection you two had, you instantly looked his way. The eye contact you two had was filled with emotions. He could see the stress and hurt in your eyes and you saw the emptiness and longing in his. You got up and so did he, walking towards each other, you both hugged, loving the feeling. You both missed each other so much and the way you hugged each other showed that. He told you he was with Changbin, him waving to you behind Jeongin and you told him you were with your flatmates. Agreeing to meet each other later that night you went back to your tables. Changbin sees the change in IN's aura, he seems happier and less tense. "I'm happy that you're happy IN-ee" IN is all smiles. "listen, if anyone asks, I helped" "ah hyung stop" "okay okay I'm just saying that if someone asks if I helped just say yes" both of them laugh. IN and you keep exchanging happy looks and when you meet at night, you kiss him. "I missed you so much baby" he says to you.

#stray kids au #stray kids reader #stray kids reactions #stray kids #stray kids lee know #stray kids bang chan #stray kids boyfriend #stray kids changbin #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jisung #stray kids felix #stray kids seungmin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids x stay #stray kids x you #stray kids x female reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst

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hoekaashi · 4 years

Text

3 am Talks - hq pt 2

a/n: i hope you enjoy these! they take place some time during the time skip or close to when the six years are up. pairings: oikawa x reader, iwaizumi x reader, mattsun x reader, kuroo x reader, kenma x reader warnings: some spoilers, smoking weed taglist: @babydabi, @suckersuki, @bakugoustanaccount, @animoozies part 1 | part 3

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ c o n s p i r a c y t h e o r i e s ⇾ lots of aliens talk ⇾ will try to convince you that he did in fact, see a UFO once ⇾ but also, will complain about the flat ass comments he constant receives ⇾ spills his secret that not even iwa knows - he dropped a shitton of cash to work out with the Kardashian’s personal trainer in hopes to get a nice juicy bubble butt ⇾ spoiler: it didn’t work ⇾ if he’s in a more serious/softer mood, he would talk more about the mistakes he made in the past in regards to his relationships ⇾ friendships or romantic ⇾ a very vulnerable moment for him where he just let’s everything he’s been holding in out

“I swear! I was seven, I went camping with Iwa-chan and his family!” Oikawa was sitting back on his heels with his right hand up, swearing to you. You rolled your eyes. “What, did the aliens abduct you and perform a surgery? You got a nasty scar on you somewhere?” He narrowed his eyes. “I will prove it. I just need to find the picture for you.” “Right. Wait, have you been working out more?” His expression quickly changed from utter disbelief to a smirk. “I have.” “Well, none of it is helping your ass.” He hung his head in defeat. “All that money wasted. I can’t believe I actually thought the Kardashian’s trainer would be able to help me.” “Babe, they’re all plastic and I think that’s the only thing that will help you at this point.” “Every amazing thing about me is natural. Why would I ruin that by enhancing my features unnaturally?” You shrugged. “At least you have that going for you.” “What do you mean ‘at least’?” he asked with air quotes. “I have you, don’t I?” You didn’t expect him to say something like that. “What?” “If you’ve stuck around this long, I must be doing something right. I know I fucked up in the past, but I’m glad you’re so patient with me. It can’t be easy dating someone who only thinks about volleyball.” You smiled softly as he continued. “I want to apologize to Kageyama properly for the way I treated him. And Iwa-chan too. He always had to deal with my bs and that wasn’t his place as my friend.” “Well, he stuck around you all this time, so you must be doing something right too.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ since california is 16 hours behind, these talks would be in the middle of the day for one of you until a surprise visit happens ⇾ but usually, it would just consist of the two of you catching up ⇾ in person though, he would talk more about how freeing it is to be in a new place, away from everything that was familiar ⇾ how it feels good not to live in anyone's shadow and just start fresh ⇾ (not that he hated being with oikawa, it was just something new for him) ⇾ but also how he doesn’t want to get left behind in the game of life ⇾ how even his new friends *cough* ushiwaka *cough* is going after his dreams

“So how do you like California?” It was 2 am, you just picked up your boyfriend from the airport and you were heading back home. It was a long drive back which gave you plenty of time to talk. “It’s nice. You’re not there, but other than that, I like it.” “Don’t let Oikawa hear that,” you laughed. Iwa slid down his seat a bit and got comfortable. “It feels so freeing. It’s a new start. No one knows me as the ace of Seijoh or as the guy who’s friends with Oikawa. I enjoy people not assuming I’m gay for my best friend.” Even though he was being serious, you couldn’t help but snort at the comment. After all, you had been one of those people too. “It’s like I hit restart and I’m enjoying every minute of it.” “Do you miss anything though? You sound like you’re really enjoying it there.” “Of course I miss things and people. Even though it’s fun, I do miss Shittykawa’s annoying ass and walking in on Makki and Mattsun getting high. Hell, sometimes I miss not being around all the fangirls. But everyone is moving on with their lives, so I can’t stay stuck in the past.” You hummed to let him know you were still listening. “I refuse to get left behind. Even Ushiwaka is going after his own goals.” “Who would’ve thought you would go to a new country, run into him there, and become friends?” Iwa laughed. “Not me, and definitely not Oikawa. He still brings it up, to this day. It’s been two years and he thinks I’ve replaced him.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ high talks ⇾ i feel like he’s not stressed about much that he needs to vent or get something off his chest ⇾ would probably feel free when he’s high - free from being an adult - and would talk about that ⇾ maybe some funny stories from high school ⇾ makes lots of jokes ⇾ but once it hits him, he’ll be talking about deep shit ⇾ talks about life and everyone’s purpose, why we’re here, that sort of shit

“And then Iwa got so annoyed, he just pantsed Oikawa in front of the girl.” You giggled as Mattsun finally got the story right. “So what happened with the girl?” you asked. “I think she died in the spot because she got to see Oikawa in his underwear.” He took another hit of his blunt and blew the smoke out, over his head. “I wonder if he’s enjoying Argentina.” You glanced up at him before turning your attention back to the show neither of you were really watching. “I’m sure he misses you guys.” “I hope he finds his purpose. All that practice to never make it to nationals…” He sighed. “Iwa is studying to be a trainer. Him too. I hope he gets what he wants in life.” “And you?” Mattsun chuckled. “My purpose is to enjoy my time here. There are enough people in the world who are stressing over something or another. I’m here to balance the scale. Can’t have too much stress in the world or the negativity will just take over. That’s me and Makki, we just chilling through life. What's that saying? Que salsa?” “Que sera sera?” “Yeah that one! Oikawa said that to me when we were talking once.” “I’m surprised you remembered it.” “I’m smarter than I appear. I can’t threaten the nerds either. Balancing the scales.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ would range from crackhead ideas to deep conversations ⇾ could go from reciting a funny story about kenma to his insecurities in your relationship real fast ⇾ so kuroo is a scorpio and l i t e r a l l y every scorpio I know absolutely sucks ASS at opening up, doesn’t matter what gender ⇾ a part of his insecurities is that you’re constantly trying to get him to open up more and confide in you, but even after knowing him for as long as you have, he barely does ⇾ and it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just he doesn’t like to feel that vulnerable with anyone ⇾ there would be a lot of thanking you - for being so patient with him, for dealing with his teasing, for accepting his friends, etc ⇾ he doesn’t strike me as someone who enjoys serious conversations too much so if he felt awkward, he would try to make things more light, cue talks about the latest scientific discoveries

The two of you were calming down from a story Kuroo told you about Kenma that happened recently. “I’m sure deep down, he wishes we never became friends.” “It’s not hidden very deep. He texted me that this morning.” Moving closer to Kuroo, you rested your arms on his chest and placed your chin on top of your hands. One of his hands automatically went to card through your hair. Kuroo’s face softened as he took a moment to stare at you. “I’m sorry.” You stared at him confused. “You’ve been with me for so long. I feel like I know your entire life story and your life stories from your last five lives and here I am, unable to even bring up my childhood and family problems. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.” You shrugged slightly. “I mean, yeah it’s pretty annoying but I’ve just come to…” You bit your tongue. “Come to what?” “Come to not expect anything,” you said with a sigh. That caused Kuroo to sit up, making you sit up as well. “Do you really not expect anything from me now?” “Well, not nothing. More like I’m not expecting you to open up. I’m tired of sounding clingy whenever I try to even ask about your day.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You know I never want you to feel like that, right?” You shrugged again. “I just… I don’t know, it’s just hard for me to open up to other people. I guess I’m just used to having someone who understands me without me having to say anything. Vulnerability feels so strange to me so I just try to avoid it when I can.” He took both your hands into his. “I’ll do a better job, I promise. Thank you for being patient with me.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he’s not much of a talker, we all know this ⇾ but if you ask him the right questions (ie. being annoyingly persistent) he’ll talk ⇾ LOTS of appreciation ⇾ very grateful to all the people he’s met in his life and how each one that he holds dear to his heart plays a different role in his life ⇾ how much he cherishes the people he loves ⇾ and then the conversation would turn to you - how much he appreciates you ⇾ let’s be honest, kenma sucks ass at being affectionate, his love language is probably quality time because just knowing that you’re willing to sit with him as he streams is good enough to make his gamer heart happy ⇾ so he would take the time to fully express how much he does love you since he rarely makes it known to you in other ways

“Kenma, how much longer are you gonna play? You have class tomorrow,” you said while he was streaming. Glancing at the time, he told his viewers that he was going to wrap it up for the night and he joined you in bed. You were talking his ear off about the meet up you had with some of your friends and you could see him grow more and more irritated. “Why did you call me to sleep if you were just going to talk.” “Oh. Well, this is the only time I got to be with just you today…” You pulled the blanket higher up on your body and curled into a ball with your back to Kenma. You felt him shift under the covers until you felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I’m sorry. Tell me what happened next.” You shook your head. “It’s fine, we can talk in the morning.” He buried his face in your neck, giving you a soft kiss. “I love you. I don’t say that enough. I cherish you even if I don’t show you that. You and Kuroo and Shoyo. All of you are the closest people to me, and I appreciate you all so much for the different ways you’ve helped me.” You placed your hand on top of his and interlaced your fingers. “I love you too.” “How about we have lunch tomorrow? I can cancel the stream at night and we can watch a movie.” “What about the viewers?” “They can survive one night without watching me. I owe you since I’ve been a bad boyfriend.”

#oikawa tōru #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #matsukawa issei #matsukawa x reader #mattsun x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kenma kozume #kenma x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader

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youalexturnermeon · 4 years

Text

Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt.3 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon

A/N: Before you read you should know that I adjusted the timeline a little, all mistakes in the timeline that you are noticing are on purpose. Also I decided to let johnny keep his black Cobra Kai car in that one. Then I’m perfectly aware of the fact that I lowkey drifted away from the actual request but don’t worry, I’m coming back to that. It’s the second last part to this little series. Enjoy.

Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, ANGST, a little fluff

Wordcount: 2650

"Jesus Christ, (Y/N), thank god you're finally here!" was the first thing you heard from Jenny as soon as you set foot into the bar for yet another late shift on a boring Thursday night.

"We've been waiting for you for hours!" Jenny said and grabbed your arm dragging you further inside. You were staggered, "What the fuck, Jen, I'm not even late, I know I was yesterday but I'm perfectly on time today! Look," you pointed towards a clock on the wall "8 pm sharp."

"Jesus, don't you ever check your phone?" she went on ignoring you. And as a matter of fact, you didn't. You trashed it a couple of days ago as a result of a drunk rage after another shift without your favourite regular. That's why you've been borrowing your colleague’s phone to call yourself an Uber home. But that was still not helping you understand why you were needed so much. Apparently, the bar was waiting for your arrival since the opening at last. In the distance, behind the almost empty counter you saw the staff door opening and Kenny making his way to you in a quick pace.

"She's is here!" Jenny called out to him as if he wasn't able to see that for himself.

"Finally."

"What the fuck?" you asked again, trying to think of all the things you could've done wrong in the past weeks, but you couldn't find any. You never messed up a drink, you always locked the doors, you even cleaned the puke in the men's bathroom. "Am I in trouble?"

Kenny shook his head, you looked at him quizzically.

"It's about your boyfriend," Jenny helped him out answering. You almost blurted out 'He's not my boyfriend' as it was already on the tip of your tongue because you were so deeply conditioned to say that. But when your glance skipped over the almost empty seats by the counter again, your heart suddenly skipped a beat and when it was back at keeping you alive it started beating so hard against your ribs as if it was about to burst. Johnny was back.

"He's been here since we opened at 5," Kenny said, sounding a little annoyed "He's drunk off his ass, came in drunk already, and refuses to leave until he sees you. We tried to throw him out but he's one persistent motherfucker and lowkey aggressive, muttering your name saying he needs to talk to you and nobody else."

"Yeah, maybe you should go and talk to him" Jenny affirmed. But you were already on your way. Without a word you almost stormed over.

At first you wouldn't have noticed him. He didn't look like himself, sitting there on his regular seat at the end, head hanging, covered by his hands. He looked rough.

The two weeks he didn't show himself, you almost started hating him. You thought him to be like any other man on earth who, after they broke you, finally got you to get soft towards them, waking your interest after hundreds of times trying, just disappeared without a trace. First you were blaming yourself, asking yourself if you went too far with your little game of pretend, whilst still waiting every day for him. Had it been too much for him saving you the other day and getting his face bashed in for you? You wished he'd come and tell you what a bitch he thought you were to your face. Then you despised him for giving you up so quickly. But as soon as you laid eyes on him all these negative thoughts disappeared, and you were just concerned. Concerned about his condition, only the question inside your head how on earth you, a simple barkeeper, were able to help him with that. You grabbed a bottle of whisky and simply headed to the other side of the counter, not standing in front but sitting next to him this time. The worst about it, he didn't even take notice of you at first.

"Johnny," you said softly placing a hand on his arm. Like being electrocuted by this touch, he winced but finally looked up. You almost gasped at his appearance. Normally he was always clean shaven, now he looked like hadn't shaved in days. Besides that, he was also hurt. At first you thought his injuries might still be from his encounter with the three men that were bothering you, but the scratches and bruises were fresh, and a band aid was sticking to his forehead that wasn't needed before. Johnny blankly stared at you from his bloodshot eyes and you suddenly felt the urge to hug him. But you resisted, first you had to get him to talk. Instead, you grabbed two of the glasses in front of Johnny uncorked the bottle of whisky and poured you one. You took a sip of the burning liquid hoping for some courage to miraculously appear as you watched Johnny silently drinking, too.

Kenny walked by on the way back to his office, judgingly eyeing you.

"Damn, I have to start taking all the booze you're drinking here from your paycheck, (Y/N), slow the fuck down, would you?" he said sighing with one foot already inside. Out of a sudden Johnny snapped.

"Jesus Kenny, don't wet your precious leather pants," he shouted out, slamming his glass on the counter "I'm gonna pay for it! Let a girl enjoy her drink for once" Some heads turned in your direction.

You held still for a second and didn't dare to breathe, afraid of another fight to happen since normally Kenny didn't allow anybody talk to him like that. But he simply shook his head and closed the door behind him, muttering something like "This girl actually has to work here, but whatever" leaving you alone with Johnny.

"You look hot, as always," he said trying to smile, yet the smile didn't reach his sad eyes. He almost looked like he's been crying.

"And you look like shit."

"You mean that?" he gestured at his face noticing your gaze upon his massive black eye. You nodded.

"That's nothing."

"What happened, Johnny?" you asked but he did not answer and just kept on sitting in silence, sipping his drink from time to time. Then, after what seemed like forever, he finally looked you straight in the eyes.

"I fucked up, (Y/N), that's what happened, I fucked up big time."

"Tell me!"

"As if you give two shits about it, you probably wouldn't care. You fucking despise me and my sorry ass."

"I do care!"

“Nah, you wouldn’t!”

You sprung off your seat, you did not expect that coming out of his mouth, also it hurt to hear him say that, because you really did care about him! You probably cared about him more than anything in your life at the moment. But if he was going to be a bitch to you so were you.

“Well, don’t waste my fucking time then!” you exclaimed “And stop annoying everyone that you need to see talk to me instead of fucking off. I can gladly leave you all by yourself so you can keep on pitying yourself. Nice seeing you, jerk!”

And you were about to storm off, go back to pretending to work just like you did every other day when there was nothing else to do, when you instantly heard a “(Y/N), wait!”

You turned around and saw Johnny, now more miserable than ever, showing at your seat inviting you to sit back down. You swallowed your pride and did so.

“I’m sorry,” he said “I just can’t believe that someone would actually give a shit about me at all. And I did want to talk to you, I still do. You’re the only one I want to see right now.” “Then tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s this kid,” he started sighed and stopped, then took another sip of his whisky and began again “I have a dojo in a strip mall, I’m a sensei,” “What’s that?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and you felt stupid. Johnny looked at you, completely staggered, forgetting his pain for a moment. Proving you that it was in fact a probably very stupid question.

“It’s a Karate place, I teach Karate there.”

“Go on.”

“I have a shit ton of nerds that I teach but they’re mostly good kids, they got bullied a lot before, but I helped them, I showed them how to kick ass, so no one dares to fuck with them anymore. There’s this one kid, Miguel, I’ve been teaching him since the beginning, he actually gave me the idea to open a dojo, he begged me to and he’s a great kid, he really grew on me. He lives next door with his mom and grandma, they’re great people, Mexicans. I even learned a bit of Spanish from them. And I’ve been hanging out a lot with him lately. I really, really liked him.”

He rubbed his eyes and stopped talking.

“What do you mean you liked him?” you asked carefully and studied Johnny’s face that he covered with his hands again.

“There’s more to the story. There’s another dojo in town, fucking Miyagi-Do. Of course, you can’t expect only one dojo to be there in L.A but how I wish that at least that one wouldn’t exist. The sensei is a twat. I fucking hate this guy. And his kids started fighting with my kids at school and not like throwing some punches at each other and leaving it be after somebody starts crying. No, they started a fucking Karate War at school. I mean, I get it, when I was their age I also took Karate way too seriously but letting it go this far? I don’t know, I can’t really understand that. It got out of hand real quick two weeks ago.”

“Fuck, did something bad happen?” you wondered and poured yourself and Johnny another whisky.

He nodded and stared into the distance. You waited for him to answer.

“There was a fight two weeks ago and apparently it got really bad. Miguel got kicked off a balcony at school, he fell two stories deep, spine-first onto a handrail.” You gasped. You school also had problems with fighting, a lot to be precise but as far as you knew, no one got kicked off from somewhere.

“He’s been in a coma now for two weeks and they say that the chances of waking up from a coma after two weeks are pretty miserable. He might as well be dead by now.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” you said although not knowing shit about coma, you just wanted t comfort Johnny. You could not stand seeing him so broken you even wished he would go back to his old nature again, hitting on you, joking and just having a good time “He’s probably going to wake up soon and go back to Karate again.”

“You don’t know that!” Johnny said raising his voice, “He broke his fucking spine, (Y/N), even if he wakes up, he’s probably going to be crippled for his whole life.”

He took a deep breath and drank his whisky at once, grunting at the burning feeling in his throat.

“And now my own kid is in fucking juvie for kicking Miguel of a railing and he won’t even talk to me!”

“Wait, you have a kid?” you wondered and stared at Johnny wide-eyed, not knowing what else to say, this was surely a surprise for you. And Johnny went on with his rant.

��Yeah, Robby, he’s 17. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s locked up, doesn’t want to hear a word from me, but that’s okay,” his voice was cynical, you could hear how much despised himself right in the moment and it was painful to see.

“I’ve been a shit father anyways, right? Every single day of his life I’ve been failing him. I wasn’t around much. I did nothing to keep him out of trouble. If so, I only made it worse, I only pushed him to train with Miyagi-Do and what happened to Miguel is all on me.” Despite calming himself down with a drink, Johnny’s voice got louder with every word he spoke. Again, heads were turning towards you, but you didn’t care.

“It’s not your fault what happened,” you said calmly and placed a hand on his shoulder, he was so tensed that you might as well have been touching a stone. And Johnny shook your hand of and let out a hateful laugh.

“Not my fault?” he shouted his lungs out “Who else’s fault is it then? Of course, it is mine. It is all on me, I fucked up. I fucked up both Robby’s and Miguel’s lives and on top of that mine’s not that great either. I spent the night in a fucking cell.”

“Calm down, Johnny,” you said softly and finally went in for a hug “It’s going to be okay; I promise!”

“No, it’s not!” he yelled as you wrapped your arms around him tightly pressing yourself against his trembling chest. At first, he let his arms sink and didn’t do anything, he kept on shouting, making even more heads turn towards all the noise, but then suddenly he buried his scrubby face into crook of your neck and sighed, finally placing his hands on your back, finally relaxing, firmly embracing you. You could’ve stayed like that for ever.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get him out of here!”, you suddenly heard Kenny who stood there, arms crossed, watching you, “He’s scaring off the people.”

You released Johnny from your hold who went back to staring down the counter whilst burying his face in his rough hands, just the way you have found him.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll bring him home.”

“Yeah, sure, feel free to come back to work whenever you’re ready, no rush. Or maybe you want to do home office instead?” said Kenny sarcastically and you rolled your eyes.

“C’mon Kenny, I can’t let him go home like this alone, he’ll kill himself on the way. Besides, he’s probably the reason this place still hasn’t gone bankrupt. And I’m the reason he keeps coming, so maybe we owe him that?”

The big biker in front of you didn’t look too happy but he knew you were right, still, he wasn’t that easy to convince.

“Come on,” you said putting on your best puppy eyes, trying to look all cute because you knew the old man liked you deep inside “I’ll do double shift tomorrow, I promise. But just please let me go.”

Kenny stood motionless.

“Please?”

“Alright, alright, I’ll cover for you. But if you don’t come in early tomorrow…” “I know, I know, you’ll fire me” you finished his sentence and smiled at him.

Then you nudged Johnny who was not getting any of the conversation you just had and told him about your plan about getting him home. He stood up and he clearly wasn’t very strong on his feet. He was swaying from side to side on the way out.

“Okay, give me your keys, Johnny,” you said when you arrived at his black dodge. Normally you would have made fun of the yellow stripes and snakes all over, but you weren’t in the mood for it.

“I think I remember you telling me that you don’t have a license anymore and that you’re not willing to get involved into DUIs anymore.” And yet he submissively handed you over his car keys. You shrugged and got in the car, waiting for him to take the shotgun seat.

“I guess we all have to make exceptions sometimes. Now concentrate and lead me the way.”

“Thank you” Johnny said, his voice now all raspy and he suddenly looked tired “Now you are saving my ass.”

**************************************************************************************

PART 4

Already working on part 4 whether you like it or not, I’m too invested in that one

Sorry to all waiting for their requests to be written, I’ll soon be on it

Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @lililolli (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence imagine #johnny lawrence x you #cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #johnny lawrence angst #johnny lawrence fluff #karate kid #karate kid imagine #billy zabka #william zabka

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mageofseven · 4 years

Note

hi!!! i just requested this on another blog too but i am FIRED UP rn abt the angel event, and i was wondering if you could do hcs for the brothers with an mc who is SUPER pissed off abt the bangles and stuff (bc its just wrong on SO many levels), especially bc they have religious trauma of their own (its the internalized lgbt-phobia for me 😎) AKRHWJRJE thank u

Yeah...this became a rant that I had no idea I was holding within myself. I've put it all under a Read More thing for those who haven't seen or finished the event for whatever reason. The actual content asked for is below this rant so feel free to skip over it for the real reason y'all are reading this 😅

Okay, people seem to be very...negatively passionate about this event. Don't get me wrong; I understand and agree with why everyone is upset. Playing with the brother's trauma (well, most of the brother's trauma since Satan wasn't alive at the time and Asmo seemed pretty chill with the whole angelic thing) for sake of an event? That's fucked up.

On a story level, I was at first mad at Diavolo. I mean, surely, surely that man knows what horrible stuff Lucifer and his brothers went through or at least part of it, because the ending of it all is what brought the brothers to him! And maybe he thought the costume change was okay since Asmo requested it? But even so, the consent of one brother does not equal the consent of all brothers to dress up like their past selves!

Then bangles. Simeon knew what they did and still gave them to the brothers. Okay, upsetting, but Michael told him to give them to the brothers and maybe he can't refuse an archangel? I dunno but fuck you, Michael.

I'll admit though, those bangles helped the brother do good things and get past their gnawing insecurities (Mammon selling his stuff and donating the money to charity, Asmo know longer stressing over looking perfect and finding peace with his looks and ultimately, learning to truly love himself in a way he never did before), but such things happened for the wrong reasons. I want those good changes for our boys, but I don't want it forced on them like it has been in this event. I want them to reflect, see that a changes is need, and choose to work in themselves and self-heal.

This event was just a lot of me smiling uncomfortably and screaming in my head "what's happening to my sinny boys??". It honestly broke my heart when Luce said he didn't have any fond memories of his time as an angel and I was so worried about all of the bad memories that must be flooding his mind because of this, especially his since his brother, though began with anxiety in the beginning, fell into what's practically mind control quite easily, and only Luce was left fighting it's affects.

Some parts of the event were cute, I won't deny that, but it wasn't them. We didn't truly have our boys during this event and instead had to watch them revert to state they likely never wanted to and it hurt to watch...

Okay, I started this rant trying to make a point that I thought the rest of the fandom felt too strongly about this event and now I'm like...ouch, I had a lot more feelings in me about it than I originally thought. So ya, I understand now. Imma just hide in the corner and hug my Luci...

Lucifer:

Truly surprised to see MC so worked up

And lowkey touched that they care so much about both his and his brothers' wellbeing to the point where they'd get so mad on their behalf.

However, he cannot allow for them to speak to Lord Diavolo in such a manner.

Pulls them to the side and tells them enough is enough, consequently bringing their harsh comments towards Simeon to halt as well.

Getting worked up is not going to fix anything and he tells them this.

Mammon:

Whoa, whoa, hold up! Enough!

No need to get that mad, human, honest!

Yeah, this isn't gonna be easy for them, but he doesn't need MC digging their own hole in this situation.

Immediately works on comforting them, saying things like he and his brothers will get out of this in no time so they don't have to worry.

Essentially lies to them and feels extra guilty about it thanks to the bangles, but no stupid bracelet is gonna make him admit that and hurt his human worse!

Overall, MC's outburst forces him to focus on them and not his own current issues.

Leviathan:

Another brother so worried about them that he has to shelve his own worries to comfort them

...or at least, he tries to.

Basically agrees with everything Mammon says (the bangles make that a hell of a lot easier for him to do) and anxiously fidgets in place.

He has enough to worry about and now his Henry is acting like this? Things just keep getting worse.

Satan:

Sighs

"MC, now is not time for this."

You know when the Avatar of Wrath says you shouldn't be giving into angry right now that you really shouldn't be.

Appreciates that the human is so worried about them, but really doesn't need their yelling on top of the current issue.

Whether this is his own logic talking or the calming effect of the bangles, the man cannot discern.

Regardless, this situation is more of an inconvenience to him than anything else.

He never was an angel nor went through the trauma his brothers have. At best, he just has a small, vague patchwork of Lucifer's memories of that time.

He becomes increasingly unsettled as time in this form goes by, but doesn't struggle in the same way his brothers do.

Asmodeus:

"Oh stop, it'll be fine!"

The only brother to try to remain positive in the situation.

I mean, at least his outfit is cute, right?

The bangles do raise up a kind of anxiety that he doesn't want to deal with, but if he just smiles and pretends things are fine, maybe all of his issues will go away?

Doesn't like MC getting so angry because it reminds him that this is indeed a problem and he doesn't want that.

Beelzebub:

Sad baby boy.

More worried about MC than he is about himself tbh.

Please don't be mad, MC, it'll get fixed somehow 🥺

Despite being one of the afflicted, feels like he needs to watch over the human during this time.

Belphegor:

Ugh, stop.

Yeah, he's pissed too, but enough yelling about it.

Agrees with everything they spew out at the demon lord and angel.

Devil, just fix this, someone.

He doesn't want to be forced to be like his prior self, as if the loss of his sister never happened because it did happened.

Fuck Diavolo for always doing whatever the hell he wants. Fuck Michael for still wanting to control them even now. Fuck everything that's going on right now.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me gn!mc

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jaeminzie · 4 years

Text

worth it | l.dh

↳ lee haechan x gender nuetral!reader

synopsis: having a turtoring session with fratboy!hyuck that you were bribed into turned into a cuddle session, but he definitely didn’t mind at all

genre: fluffff

word count: 2,123

you rubbed your head in frustration as the memory kept replaying in your head, making you regret your past decision. earlier in the day, lee donghyuck was practically begging you to tutor him for his upcoming exam. you were so set on saying ‘no’ because you very much disliked the guy but he began to wave fifty dollars in your face. and you, a broke college student, completely forgot about all the unfavorable feelings towards the boy and gave in.

but as hours passed by, you began to reconsider if spending time with donghyuck was worth fifty dollars. maybe if it were doubled then you wouldn’t be second-guessing your past decision. you looked at your phone to check the time, just to see if it was too late to back out now. and unfortunately for you, it was.

you let out a loud groan in the middle of the student café lounge area that you and your best friend, renjun, were relaxing in. “nice to see you doing well, y/n.” renjun took a pause from drawing on his sketchbook and looked up smiling mockingly at you to which you didn’t respond to in any way shape or form. the smile dropped and a wave of annoyance took over his facial expressions. “okay, what is it. are you hungry? you should’ve just aske-”

“i’m not always hungry.” you rolled your eyes at him and lowered yourself in your seat. “it’s donghyuck-”

“oh god. then whatever it is, that obnoxiously loud groan was valid.” he groaned with you. renjun never had a good impression on donghyuck because he didn’t brake his car for renjun when he was trying to walk across the pedestrian crosswalk, and donghyuck never said sorry nor look apologetic. instead, he just gave renjun trauma. he’s the reason why renjun always wait ten seconds minimum before crossing the street. although it gets annoying, his lost face before crossing reminds you of a cute kitten which makes up for the long wait. “what did he do this time?”

“he’s paying me to tutor him at his frat.” his face was evident in disgust and empathy. “i’m regretting saying yes because i’m too exhausted to deal with him.” you whined and put your face in your hands, rubbing it harshly in an attempt to wake yourself up.

“y/n, you are so strong.” he grabbed your hand away from your face and rubbed your hand awkwardly as he looked at you with apologetic eyes. “no but seriously, text me when he starts acting up. i’ll have jaemin with me for backup because i mean.” he lifted up his arms and tried to flex his arm muscles. key word: tried. “you know.”

you let out a chuckle, closed your eyes, and let your head fall back. “i’ll definitely be live texting you whenever he says and does something stupid.”

“so basically, what you’re saying is that you’ll be texting me every second. might as well have me on facetime.”

you looked back at your best friend who was showing a toothy grin. “basically.” you checked your phone again and saw that if you didn’t leave now then you’d be late to the session. “fuck, i gotta get going. please wish me luck.” you lazily got up, got your bag and stood still in front of renjun with a face that was screaming ‘help me.’

“c’mon at least you’re getting paid, right?”

“you’re right, i need to stop being such a child.” you sighed and tried to erase every negative thought and feeling inside of you.

“kick his ass if he acts up though.” he raised an eyebrow at you.

you scoffed, “of course of course.” you sighed once again and pet renjun’s hair as you walked emotionless out of the student café and made your way to the bus stop.

donghyuck’s fraternity was only a couple blocks away and it honestly wouldn’t take long to walk there but you were too tired to even try.

the commute was quick but you wish it wasn’t. there you were, standing outside the door of regret. the outside was fairly clean but you knew that the inside would be a completely different story. you knocked a few times on the white door before a smiling donghyuck greeted you. “oh wow, you actually came.”

you fought back the urge to roll your eyes. “you’re welcome.” you both stood there awkwardly while he stared you down and you tried avoiding eye contact.

“oh sorry, come in.” he turned his body to make way for yours to enter his place. “i made sure we’re alone because it’s usually loud when the others are here. they’ll be back in a couple hours, though.” he scratched his neck and yawned while you examined the place. you were right, the inside was messy but to your surprise, it wasn’t too bad.

“yeah sounds good. it shouldn’t take too long” you turned to face him and gawked at his appearance. okay there’s no denying donghyuck is pretty decent looking, but he looks extra good today. he stood there awkwardly with his hands rested in the pockets of his oversized black jacket. his hair was slightly ruffled up, you can tell he just woke up from a nap. “you really thought i’d flake on you?” you raised an eyebrow.

his eyes wondered your facial features and marks. “i mean, you kinda hate me so.”

“i don’t hate you.” you corrected him. you may have a strong disfavor of him but you don’t hate him.

he smirked, his body seemed to relax a lot more. “then, let’s get started.” he walked past me and lead the way up the spiral staircase and into his room, which was surprisingly clean and well decorated with a tidy computer gaming set at the corner.

you set your bag right by the bed which you sat on. “so specifically, what are you struggling on?” you asked him looking at his figure that was leaned against his dresser a couple feet across from you.

“uh everything?” he let out a shy laugh and crossed his arms in front of him.

you decided not to scold him for always partying because truth is, you don’t know anything that’s going on in his life so you swallowed the upcoming insults that were climbing up your throat. “oh, well, we should get started asap then so we don’t finish too late.” you cleared your throat.

his eyes widened in surprise like he was expecting your usual witty remarks that he secretly loved, but you weren’t aware of his fondness for your attitude. “yeah for sure, let me get my stuff.” he hurriedly gathered his materials and set them on the bed next to me since he didn’t have a desk in his room. well, he did have his computer desk but there was definitely no room for books there.

he climbed on the bed and rested on his stomach and flipped the pages of the textbook, trying to find the first section he needed assistance on.

you kicked off your shoes and laid down next to him, but keeping your distance from him. he smirked slightly while still keeping his focus on the page. “you can scoot closer so you can see the book clearer.” he looked at you with innocent eyes.

in instinct, you rolled your eyes and scooted a bit closer to him. close enough to smell his cologne and close enough to see his moles randomly placed on his face and neck clearly. you took your attention away from his face when he suddenly made eye contact with you, catching you off-guard.

his warm, soft bedsheets did no help in keeping you awake. you tried to focus on the words he was spitting out but every word entered one ear and went out the other as your eyelids began to feel heavier, and your vision slowly began to black out.

—

“dude what the fuck happened?” an unfamiliar whisper woke you up from your sleep but you ignored it, just trying to go back to your dreamland.

until you felt something absurd, someone’s warm embrace wrapped around you, your head was now resting on a pillow and an arm, and your cheek was rubbing against a wet patch of what you assumed was your drool on a white t-shirt fabric. “bro shut the fuck up, you’re gonna wake y/n up.” now, that was a familiar whisper to you. your heartbeat raced faster and faster as you made the conclusion that you were cuddling with the lee donghyuck. you internally groaned knowing that renjun will never shut up about this once you tell him. this will be his winning comeback for your future arguments. i mean, you could not tell him but what kind of best friend would you be if you didn’t inform him of the time you magically started cuddling with a man you disliked—but still enjoyed it.

“you better tell me everything later.” the whisper was a lot harsher than the first one, then silence followed after the unknown boy closed the door. you assumed he was gone but you waited to lift your head up to make it not obvious that you were awake to listen to their conversation.

“i know you’re awake.” donghyuck laughed above you, his chest rumbled against your cheek. “you stopped snoring a while ago.”

you groaned in annoyance and also in embarrassment. you slowly lifted your head up to look up at him and you were not ready to see the sight of him looking down at you with a soft smile and even messier hair, causing your heart to skip a beat. both your arms were still wrapped around each other, leaving no space between you both. “what the fuck.” you blurted out, not knowing what else to say.

donghyuck’s tired smile widened. “i should be the one asking you that. sweetheart, you’re the one who cuddled up to me first.” he enjoyed watching your face flush red in embarrassment, anger, and also by the way he looked at you so attentively. “you know, its quite rude.” he tightened his grip around you. “i’m supposed to be paying for a tutoring lesson.” he pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, not breaking eye contact with you.

you remained looking at him with shaky eyes, not believing the situation you were in. your mouth opened, then it closed, then it opened to say something but donghyuck cut you off. “but this is so much better, my money well spent.” he sighed contently and closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against the top of your head.

you could’ve protested or done anything to get out of his grip but your body stayed the way it is. “i didn’t even get to teach you one lesson, i’m sorry.” you were sincere with your apology, you wasted his time and now he’s probably gonna fail his exam if you two keep cuddling.

“i don’t care about that. i prefer this much more.” his eyes were still closed. you continued to admire his face and tried to memorize every single detail and placement of each mark. “hmmm, why don’t you take a picture?” he hummed, still keeping his eyes closed.

your hands made their way up his ear and pinched it. he let out a whine and finally opened his eyes which immediately landed directly on yours. “quit it.” you warned him.

“as you wish, darling.” his voice became lower and it almost sounded like a whisper. a soft smirk appeared on his face and his eyes were sparkling under the moonlight that shined through his window. “i love talking to you but i think i finally found something i love even more—sleeping with you.”

you opened your mouth to say something but his finger pressed against your lips to keep you quiet. he shushes you softly while he shuffled slightly to find a comfortable position, still keeping his embrace secure around you and his eyelids began to slowly drop. you admired his face once more before closing your eyes as well.

the question you asked yourself earlier today lingered in your mind before drifting off to your sleep again. is spending time with donghyuck worth fifty dollars? considering how warm he felt against you, and how you loved to hear his breathing and soft snores above you, and how perfect your body naturally molded into his embrace. you could finally answer the question confidently, yes.

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charlie-boio · 4 years

Text

I’m Here For You

Summary: Stiles has been avoiding you for a few weeks and you aren’t sure what’s wrong. Is this the end of your friendship?

Word Count: 3200

A/N: I enjoyed this little idea. Hope you do too. It’s pretty cute in my humble opinion. Also I based their high school schedule (like how long their classes last) off of where I graduated high school so I know it’s probs different but idc. Also I’m not super comfortable with how well written this is but I like it 😊

WARNINGS: angsty, but with some well deserved fluff

You took in a short breath, and then another. Your knees were starting to burn, the back of your throat felt like it had been scorched, and your head was pounding. The pain and nausea in your stomach wasn’t going away, but you thought that you didn’t have much left to throw back up. At this point, you were merely dry heaving.

These past few weeks have already been pretty much hell for you. For the past three weeks, Stiles had been bailing on your Friday movie nights, and last Friday was no exception. You didn’t even bother to text him and ask if he was coming, and apparently, he hadn’t cared.

Feeling the lowest you had ever felt in your life, you had just decided to melt into your bedding and binge watch cooking shows. What had started as a dull ache on Friday had taken a dramatic turn for the worse on Monday, and you simply could not catch a break with the pile on of essays, projects, and tests that your teachers handed you.

In all honestly, you could not catch a break. Never mind the slow burn of feelings that were building inside of you for Stiles, but now it appears you were also losing him as a friend. Which hurt…more than anything.

You shook your head, feeling yourself shudder. Standing on shaky legs, you flushed and went to rinse out your mouth.

“Just get through school,” you muttered. “Then you can go home and sleep this off.”

You finally left the bathroom and walked slowly towards your class, hand clutching desperately at your right side. Grimacing with each step, you opened the door and shuffled inside.

“About damn time! Get back in your seat y/l/n!” Coach Finstock barked at you, causing everyone’s eyes to snap up and pierce right through you. You shrunk into yourself more than you already were.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, walking carefully over to your seat without disturbing your side too much, which was a fruitless task. Sitting down, you looked over a Scott, whose eyebrows were furrowed together. Stiles didn’t bother looking up, his face buried in his notebook. You felt your heart break just a little more at the sight, so you forced a smile and whispered that you were okay, knowing that he could hear you. Scott’s eyebrows stayed knit together, but he turned away from and put his attention back on Coach’s lecture, letting the matters drop for now.

Coach’s class went by in a foggy haze, the occasional stabbing pain in your side brought you back to reality until the bell rang. Stiles jumped out of his seat and rushed out the door, not sparing you a glanced. Scott was close behind him, but not before sending you another worried look, to which you gave him a forced smile. His eyebrows furrowed, but he left anyways.

You moved slowly, face grimacing with each step. You couldn’t help your mind wandering to Stiles, imaging him helping you through the hallways to your next class. You two always used to walk together…

Shaking your head, you continued forth, barely managing to make it to your next class on time. Thankfully, you didn’t have another class with Stiles until after lunch, but you had this class with Lydia.

“y/n are you feeling okay?” Lydia asked, her face etched with concern.

“I’m fine, just a little nauseous, nothing to be worried about,” you said, but your wavering voice betrayed you. Lydia quirked up an eyebrow and pressed the back of her hand to your forehead.

“You’re awfully warm sweetie. I know you said, ‘You’re fine,’ but maybe you should go home. Just in case,” she said sweetly.

“I can’t. My parents are out of town for their anniversary.”

“What about Stiles? He usually gives you a ride to school anyways right?” Not for two weeks, Not for two weeks, you thought sadly.

“Um-I-“

“Girls, pay attention please!” your teacher snapped at you two. You and Lydia mumbled your apologies. Thankfully, class went by without another opportunity for you to talk to Lydia, and when the bell rang, you two parted ways since her class was across the school.

You managed to get through your next two classes, trying to pay attention to your teachers and zone out the stabbing pain in your side, the pounding in your head, and the heavy weight in your heart. You were hoping and praying with all of your might that you could get through the rest of the day. You weren’t sure how the fuck you would get home, but you decided you’d cross that bridge when you got there.

If you get there, you thought miserably, but you quickly shook that thought from your head. You were overreacting, obviously. How could you be so stupid? You got your period on Saturday, and occasionally they could be a little extreme.

“Stiles, you really didn’t have to do any of this…” you said sweetly, a small smile stamped on your face.

“Come on, kid. You’re my best friend, of course I’m gonna take care of you!” Stiles said, flashing you a toothy grin.

He had surprised you out of the blue, hearing that you had gotten your period and that it was kicking your ass this month. Stiles brought chocolate, popcorn, movies (Star Wars, obviously), blankets, one of his sweatshirts, sour patch kids, and a heating pad after you had complained that yours broke. He spent the next hour setting everything up and not allowing you to lift a finger despite your protests.

After settling down, you had tried to cuddle with him like you two usually do, but your cramps weren’t having it so you settled for having your head in his lap, the heating pad laid across your lower abdomen, blankets curled around both of you while Stiles continuously ran his fingers through your hair, soothing you.

“Any better?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,”

“Come on, kid. You don’t have to lie to me. Not ever…”

“It is better, since you came and helped me,” you turned your head slightly to look up at him, and you saw his swirling amber eyes looking down at you with adoration. You felt your heart skip a beat while you smiled at him.

Stiles leaned down quickly and placed a lingering kiss to your head. “You know I’m always gonna be here for you kid. Always,” he mumbled into your head.

You closed your eyes and sighed happily, his fingers resuming running through your hair. You could’ve died happily in his arms.

Bitter tears that burned your eyes welled up, threatening to fall at the memory. What did I do…? You thought miserably to yourself.

Closing your eyes, you shook your head, ridding yourself of both the tears and the memory. If you cried right now, the pounding in your head would only get even worse, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could last like this.

Unfortunately, the bell rang for the end of fourth period, and fifth was lunch with the rest of the pack, including Stiles. You felt a pool of dread hit the bottom of your stomach. Stiles used to sit next you at lunch, cracking jokes back and forth with his sarcastic comments. Now, he sat as far away from as he could, and you had a feeling that today would be no exception.

Sure enough, walking into the cafeteria you saw all of your friends sitting together, happily chatting away. There was a seat saved for you on the far right while Stiles sat at the far left across the table from you, right next to Lydia. For once, it didn’t look like Stiles was drooling over her; instead they were quietly arguing about something, but you were too far away to hear what it was.

Still, you sat down and did your best to smile through the physical and mental pain of everything. However, your stomach had decided to dial up the pain a notch, making sure it was something you no longer could ignore. With each beat of your heart your head pounded louder and louder, the voices around you starting to fade.

Uh oh. This isn’t good I need to get out of here!

You tried to stand, legs wobbly, but the second you stood up your vision began to tunnel, your pain double by the second. You could vaguely hear Scott, and you felt the pack’s eyes on you.

“I need to…to…” you stuttered, and you felt your knees buckle as you sank to the floor. Before you could hit the ground hard, a pair of strong arms snaked around you, breaking your fall. You could vaguely hear someone scream for help.

Your breath hitched, ears ringing as you fell into darkness.

“HELP! PLEASE SHE NEEDS HELP!” Stiles shouted through the hospital, nurses and doctors rushing over. You were in his arms bridal style after you had passed out in the cafeteria. He had managed to catch you before you could hit your head, and he had sprinted as fast as he could to his jeep to drive you to the hospital.

That was two hours ago, and there hadn’t been any word on y/n’s condition. Not even Melissa could tell them anything, and Stiles was getting tired of hearing ‘We are doing everything we can right now,’

“Stiles?” Scott asked gently.

For the first time in his life, he was still. Absolutely still. He didn’t fidget with his hands, bounce his knee, or even pace. He merely sat there; hands clasped together. He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore; all he did was stare at the floor and just let every single one of his negative thoughts rush through his head.

“Stiles,” Scott said a little more forcefully. Stiles barely turned his head, his drawn low.

“Look I already know what you’re gonna say-“

“The ‘I’m Gonna Avoid Her So My Crush Can Go Away’ plan? The one that everyone thought was the stupidest idea ever?” Lydia interjected, having found about this plan at lunch.

“Stop it, okay? I get it!” Stiles snapped, then he sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known something was wrong. We’re best friends…she’s never gonna forgive me,” Tears lined Stiles’ eyes. Turns out he did have more to spare.

“Stiles, you and y/n are idiots,” Stiles’ head snapped up, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. “You two have edging around a relationship for at least three years at this point, and each time you’ve both been like ‘Oh there’s no way they like me back!’ Seriously! I’m tired of hearing it,”

“Scott, what if it’s too late? We don’t know what’s going on-“

“Why am I not surprised that you’re all here?” Melissa’s voice came out with a carefree tone. She had a clipboard with her, and she looked relatively at ease. Immediately Stiles shot up and made his way over, his hands fidgeting with each other, not taking note of Melissa’s relaxed stance.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Stiles asked, his eyes pleading. Melissa gave him a reassuring smile.

“Stiles, relax. She’s totally fine. She just had appendicitis, nothing super major I promise,”

Stiles took a deep breath, feeling the tension from waiting around slip away from him. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face. “She’s…she’s gonna be okay?” he asked tentatively.

Melissa smiled at him. “She’s going to be just fine,” she looked over her shoulder, then lowered her voice. “Now, usually it’s family only, but for you I’ll make an exception. ONLY Stiles,” she finishes when everyone else tried to rush past her. Melissa gave him a knowing look, telling him the room number.

Suddenly standing behind the closed door of your room, he felt his anxiety come crashing down again. He had acted like a complete idiot these past few weeks, not being to stand the fact that you would probably never feel the same way about he as he felt about you. He thought he was doing what was best for both of you. Now he wasn’t sure if you’d even want him around as a friend anymore.

I wouldn’t he thought to himself miserably. It took a few more deep breaths before he was ready to open the door.

Thankfully, you were asleep, but he hated how pale you still looked. The hand with the IV laid across your stomach, your chest rising slowly as you took in deep breaths. Stiles crossed over to your left side and pulled up a chair, taking your left hand and placing a gentle kiss to the top of it. With his free hand, he slowly pushed a stand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

He had almost lost you today. Appendicitis was a simple procedure, sure, but what if something worse had happened? What if it was something worse, and he missed it because he was too cowardly to tell you how you felt?

“No more hiding,” Stiles whispered to you. He settled his head against the bed on your side. His hand that wasn’t laced with yours was gently stroking your arm while his eyes dropped lower and lower until complete exhaustion finally took over and he fell into a fitful sleep.

Your body felt light and heavy at the same time. This didn’t feel like your bed, or the cafeteria where you were last. You could vaguely remember being carried, but it was all a pain filled blur. You scrunched your face before peeling your eyes open, your heart skipping a beat. There you saw Stiles, one arm resting on your leg while the other clutched yours. You couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your face. Was he really here?

You moved your hand to run through his hair, causing him to stir. Stiles looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed together before shooting up into his hairline.

”You’re awake!” he jumped out of his seat, his hand never leaving yours. A huge grin broke out across his face which contradicted the tears that fell from his eyes. He leaned over and pressed a long kiss to your forehead, your eyes closing at the feeling. “How are you feeling? Do you feel alright? Is there any pain? Because I can go get a nurse for some pain medicine. Or are you hungry? Because you didn’t eat at all at lunch and I doubt you ate this morning since you left class to throw up or maybe you did since-“

“Stiles shhh its okay, I feel okay I promise,” you said, voice a little hoarse. Stiles sighed happily before sitting back down, both of his hands coming up to play with your fingers. You wanted to relish in the moment, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that took place in your mind. He doesn’t really care, once you’re better he’ll go back to ignoring you.

“Stiles-“

“I like you,” he blurted out, his face beet red. “And I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry okay? I’ve had this giant crush on you for the longest time, and I had no idea how to address because you’re just absolutely everything to me. I thought that if I put some distance between us that it would be easier, but it wasn’t. I could tell that you were upset, only this time it was my fault. Look, if you don’t feel the same way, or even if you hate me after what I did, I get it I fucking deserve it, it’s fine. But after today, seeing you collapse like that, I don’t think I can’t not have you in my life. I really, really like you y/n, and if you can forgive me one day, can we at least stay friends?” his eyes were pleading with you, tears lining his eyes.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “So…you don’t want to be with me like that…” you whispered.

“No-I mean yes, of course I would love more than anything to be more than friends, but you-“

“Stiles,” you said with a small smile. “I feel the same way. I have for awhile now…”

His eyes lit up, the tears falling now. “Really?” he asked softly.

“Really.”

“But,” he looked away from you, swallowing thickly. “I-I’m not like, super strong or a good lacrosse player. I’m not a werewolf. I’m only human, I’m just…me.”

“I don’t want any of those things, I want you. I want the boy who can always figure out the cases, the boy who would come over and take care of me whenever I’m upset, who came over every Friday to watch movies with me, and the boy who never ever fails to make me laugh, even when it’s the last thing I want to do.”

You continued to run your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him. His smile grew with your words, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a brief moment.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

Stiles stood once again, leaning over you while trying not to crush or hurt you in any way. He cupped your face with one hand before gently placing his lips on yours. The kiss was soft, your lips moving slowly against his. It didn’t become any more heated then simply kissing, but your heart still exploded. You two kissed until your lungs burned, Stiles pulling away for just a moment to take a quick breath before diving back in, tilting his head a little, the kiss picking up its pace slightly.

After a few more moments, Stiles pulled back for good, smiling down at you while he pulled his chair even closer you as he sat down, and you were positive that your grin was just a big as his. You leaned over and wiped the remaining tears off of his face, him leaning into your touch.

“Can I take you on date?” he asked.

You quirked an eyebrow at him, “Just a date?” you joked.

“Well, I feel like I should take you out on a proper date before I ask you to be my girlfriend,” he laughed, and you smiled at him.

“Okay, then in that case, I’d love to go on a date you,” you said, affection laced in your tone.

He smiled dopily at you, resting his hand back on the bed next you, your arm coming around him comfortably.

“Get some rest, kid. I’ll be right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, always,”

You sighed, closing your eyes, and for the first time in a few weeks, you were able to sleep peacefully with Stiles by your side.

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