#some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.

[cosmicredcadet]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[sorcave]

After spending some time thinking about Peter Pettigrew, I’ve realized there’s a huge disconnect between how he’s portrayed in canon and how the fandom—especially within Marauders fanon—handles him. Let me preface this by saying, I get it. The Marauders era is filled with beloved, tragic characters like Sirius, Remus, and James, who are all charismatic in their own ways. It’s easy to frame Peter as the villain, the weak link in the group, because, well, he is the one who betrays them. But I can’t help feeling like fanon’s interpretation of him has become deeply flawed and even unfair in its simplification of his character.

Peter Pettigrew, as written in the books, is actually a much more complex figure than the rat-betrayer caricature that fanon often makes him out to be. He’s not some mustache-twirling villain, nor is he just a pathetic hanger-on who was lucky to be in the Marauders’ circle. If you really pay attention to the way his character is written, he’s someone who’s constantly underestimated by the people around him, including the very friends he ends up betraying. He’s not powerful in the traditional sense, but his cunning is what allows him to survive the chaos of two wizarding wars. He’s not a mastermind, sure, but he’s resourceful in a way that deserves more recognition than he gets. Canonically, it’s clear that he isn’t just bumbling around until he stumbles into Voldemort’s arms—he’s making calculated choices, and we need to give those choices the weight they deserve.

This brings me to why I think fanon’s insistence on reducing Peter to a one-dimensional villain is so misguided. There's this huge trend in Marauders fandom where Peter is either villainized beyond recognition or, worse, completely written out of the story. He’s often replaced in fanon with a random “better” Marauder, or he’s ignored entirely, as if his betrayal somehow disqualifies him from being part of the story. And here’s the thing: canon compliance isn’t a crime! In fact, canon gives us a far more interesting story. The tragedy of Peter’s betrayal is that he was their friend—he shared their dorm, their secrets, and their history. His actions were not driven by some inherent evil but by fear, survival instincts, and yes, cowardice. It’s a much richer narrative than reducing him to a monster.

In the fandom, there’s often this hyperfocus on moral purity when it comes to the Marauders, especially when it comes to ships and rewriting dynamics. Peter, however, disrupts that neat narrative, so fanon tries to erase him to preserve the integrity of the fan-created relationships. But that oversimplifies everything. Why should we villainize people for sticking to canon when canon is, arguably, what makes the Marauders’ story so compelling in the first place? The fall of the Marauders—this group of young, talented, promising boys—hinges on Peter’s betrayal. You can't just ignore that without losing a fundamental piece of what makes their story so tragic. He’s not a random character you can swap out. He’s the pivot point.

Peter’s character also raises some interesting discussions about how we view heroism and villainy in fandom spaces. For instance, we’re often quick to forgive other characters—Sirius, for all his bravado, is reckless and cruel to people like Snape, but we don’t hold it against him in the same way. We empathize with his trauma, his tragic backstory. So why is it that Peter, who is also a product of his circumstances, is written off? He wasn’t born evil; he was shaped by the same war that shaped all of them, but his path led him to make different choices. There’s something so fascinating about exploring how someone who was once a friend could betray everything. It’s a conversation about human flaws, not just villainy.

And yes, in a world full of Marauders fan content, it’s fine to like your AUs or write your fix-its. But let’s not pretend that sticking to canon, and appreciating Peter for the complex character he is, is somehow less valid. The fandom would benefit from looking at Peter as more than just “the betrayer” and instead as someone who, like everyone else in the story, is a deeply flawed person whose mistakes have devastating consequences. That makes the story richer, more painful, and ultimately, more meaningful.

forgive me for the ramble but Im going insane with my term paper and my thesis, unfortunately I've been diving too deep into the marauders again

[gracemain919]

Doppelganger (oc): short story

(The Fungus universe)

Summary: Participating in a long and quite irritating 18+ photoshoot.

Tw: Yandere, suggestive content, photoshoot, playful teasing with words.

(I wrote this half alive and dead)

Pretty for the Picture

You felt like a swan, laying a top of countless white sheets and cloth. Such decorations pressed against your back so smoothly whole the bed that you are using suddenly creaks due to a shift. Some loose strands of fabric remained glued to your sweaty chest, a hand slowly moving, fiddling with the material. Your leg was bumped to the side, the mattress dipping, an elbow pressing on an area close to your head.

“Comfortable beautiful?” Jacob asked, a coy smile playing on his lips. His free hand lifted a piece of cloth on your chest, throwing it slightly in the air as if messing with you. The end of such a material remains dormant on your exposed bosom.

“I feel like a stiff doll.” You groaned in annoyance, a sudden light flashing your corneas for your misfortune of turning to the side. A firm hand titled your head back to the ceiling, a hushed click of a tongue soon following. “Come on, why do you insist on looking toward the side? Am I not interesting enough?” He pouted, releasing your face in order to slowly stretch his arms, flexing his bare muscles as if that would catch your attention. “And the stiff part, you always stress yourself out about everything. I can't fix that since I don't perform miracles,” Jacob muttered, another flash defining each crevice of his skin for a mere moment. Glossy eyes illustrate the light as if the dark sea of his pupils was illuminated by a new star.

“Come to think of it.” Your arm was suddenly pulled, yanking you into a seating position where your back graced his chest. Eyes head-on with the camera, only making that flashing light more apparent. “You should be more careless”

“Careless?”

He nodded, hands exploring your curves as if traveling a familiar road. Trailing the fat of your stomach, until giving the flesh of your thighs a squeeze. “You don't have to try to earn the camera’s favor. You can do anything, no makeup, no clothing. You need nothing… while-”

“You have to dress like an over-feathered bird?” You taunted, earning you a light slap on your shoulder.

“Harsh… I like to think of myself as a perfectly feathered peacock. Yet, even without any clothing, I'm still gorgeous”

Another flash followed, but you couldn't help but chuckle. “Hmm… I don't see it. You seem so ‘thin’ maybe a light breeze could blow you away”

You expected him to play it off to an extreme. Make a show of your words. That was his thing, but you felt his head rest in the crock of your neck, a hand trailing up your chest before finding a comfortable position: holding one of your breasts. You could feel his breath, his traitorous fingers flicking your nub, a slight moan leaving your lips. “Sure, sure. Keep talking all the trash you want, just look good for the picture”

Another flash, another picture taken. You felt like you had been tricked, nudging his face to the side with a scuff. Face slightly red, now it was your turn to be dramatic since it seemed he had forgotten his role. “It took me a long time to figure that ‘thin’ insult” You crossed your arms, covering your chest with a huff. Jacob seemed shocked, either paralyzed by confusion or amusement. “But you use that insult like every chance you get?”

“Not the point. You just ignore my word genius, just like that?”

He tried to hold you again, but you moved away, the flashing camera suddenly taking a break, no pictures being taken from your makeshift spat.

“The one moment I decide to ignore something is the day you decide you want my attention?” His words were low and slow as if thinking of something.

“I said nothing of the sort. Maybe being in this photoshoot for hours has grown tiresome and this is a cry for help to leave. Have you thought about that?”

You have had your back turned for a while, so the surprise you felt when your hands were suddenly grabbed was anything but calming. You didn't know what you were being pulled into, not until you suddenly dropped. Your hands being dragged down to the bed, as if being detained by a cop.

“You want my word? Then I’ll let you know that I'm anything short of god-like. I'm perfection, beautiful, smart, and talented. I’m everything the other leaders need and everything all my stupid fans don't have. I'm beautiful!” Your face was pushed deeper into the bed, Jacob’s weight pressing on your back. Your laugh was evident, shaking your head even tho he probably didn't see it.

“Laughing now? I'm not lying, I'm not being over-dramatic. You may be more pretty than me but I’m…” He cleared his throat, “Better than everyone else” His voice seemed to change, each word changing tones between female and male. “I can literally be better than everyone”

“Are you done?” You asked, coldly, your hands suddenly being released letting you turn over from the cheap interrogation.

“I sometimes truly despise you” He admitted as if it were a secret, the camera flashing once more. Your hands trailed up his face caressing his cheek, provoking a familiar smile to return.

“I know, but what do you say? Let's finish these pictures so that we can leave?”

He couldn't resist your face. His body didn't let him, and his ego surprisingly didn't either in that moment, so he just nodded, grabbing your palm, kissing the inside of your hand causing your cheeks to grow red. “This photoshoot reminds me of something. We are quite literally two gods in one frame.”

“Sure, sure. Let’s get this over with. Please…”

[deafchild2000]

Updates for my H2O: Just Add Water AU starring the OG trio's character foils (for those who actually are interested in this fic ideas):

First order of business: I'm pushing beyond the PG rating of the original show. I'm going for obvious nostalgia but I also prefer my common sense and realism - so expect a lot of call outs!

I'm bringing the parents in. Like, me and the fans get why they were on the outside of things , but as I get older (even in my mid 20s), I find myself thinking there should have been more moments with the adults being adults & parents.

I'm definitely expanding, or in some cases CRAFTING, better background stories for Charlotte, Miriam, and the Benjamin siblings. (I said this once and I'll say it again) Charlotte had the perfect potential for characterization if she'd been in S1, Miriam Kent is iconic in her own right and deserved more screentime for me, and the Benjamin siblings are a combination of good potential and messy execution that I'm fixing so hard without making them unrecognizable. The OG girls not being mermaids is me experimenting on how their road to friendship would go, with others butting in. (Full disclosure: I'm not a fan of Rikki, so it might show!)

I'm gonna expand the mermaid lore and abilities. Not only is there room for that in 2024/2025, I studied the H2O wiki to find there's opening for it such as physical strength, I may be borrowing from H2O RP Tumblrs because fans can always be trusted to be better content creators.

Because I'm rewatching H2O for ideas, one thing I knew I was getting rid of, under TV Tropes, Louise Chatham's "cloudcuckoolander" trait. I'm not sorry, it was fun to see as a child, but after watching Lilia Calderu in AAA, I'm 90% sure Louise would've dropped the act as Charlotte, Miriam, and Sophie are a different group and would want full disclosure or they won't trust her. Thus, Louise has to see beyond the rose tinted glasses the OG trio let her get away with and help these girls in need of guidance. Plus, she's meeting Gracie's surviving family - which means I definitely can see her take an active role in knowing Charlotte and Annette.

(FOLLOWING ABOVE) Imma explore the 50s mermaids because not only did they deserve it, I hated that Louise and Max had control of Gracie and Julia's narrative in OG. I'm definitely exploring Gracie Watsford because this girl gave up her tail and yet is the only one of her group to have a family - there's so much in that to Louise (a lonely widow) and Max (a hermit) worth talking about as well as the fact she left paintings of Mako Island and the moon pool for Charlotte to have and ended up using in Canon. Julia is gonna be a doozy because she's compared to Rikki but not a lot after that, nor did we find out anymore about her beyond her death in the show. I reiterate again, I have to expand the 50s mermaids because letting two lonely old people tell the group story isn't great.

Surprisingly or not, I'm expanding background characters and adding new ones because it's definitely needed. Charlotte moved a year early, so her mom's restaurant and employees need proper acknowledgement. Miriam is definitely high class like Zane and Emma, so her world is coded for new people. And Sophie is the only one in the group that an adult and active mermaid - she clearly needs some friends outside Will.

Speaking of Will... I'm gonna do my best to make him tolerable since he's physically around the same as Byron, getting more time with Lewis and Zane. Not gonna lie, he's gonna need guy friends and ALSO not gonna lie, we both knew his character existed to make Zane insecure and I'm living for it! Watching him easily become popular because he's him and forging friendship with the other characters (some he never met) is gonna be fun while distressing for Zane.

I'm keeping Lisa Denman along for the ride (and extending it) because I don't think anyone appreciates just how well-written her character was - and just how useful she could be in the narrative. Like if you wanted to combine Lewis and Emma, make her someone important and well-established that people PAY her to go study marine biology anywhere in the world and easy to get along with, then Dr. Lisa Denman is definitely worthy of a threat - but in a way that she sneaks up on you and is worth more than three episodes. And I'm definitely not making light of underestimating her intelligence like canon did.

Two sides of one coin, Mother-Daughter edition. I'm surprised no one realized that if Charlotte was the new girl in town, the same could be said about her mom, Annette. Because of this, in expanding their relationship (and their lives before Gracie died), I'm building potential relationships - especially Annette, dealing with the Sertoris, Gilberts, Bennetts, and Kents (whose friendship goes back years) - just as Charlotte is dealing with Cleo, Emma, Zane and Miriam. A family duo who are outsiders with fresh perspectives. Though I will spoil the idea that the Watsford Women constantly beef with the Harrison Men (a lot of context in bad first impressions and generally unimpressed).

Another thing is the acknowledgement of time, events, and media because S1 of H2O happened in a duration of 8 months since the OG trio became mermaids on Valentine's Day. I'm definitely all for making shout outs for known mermaid media at the time, but definitely holidays and birthdays as well.

In place of episodes that can't happen in this AU, I'm either rewriting or creating original "episodes" as if the show would do. I'm also not shying away from important and serious topics, some not child friendly but definitely issues that could happen in the world.

Small bit: I'm never not using Kim Sertori and Elliot Gilbert. I think there are still fun uses in the narrative for them, but I'm not having Kim entirely intolerable as the fans see her. There's plenty of room for her to grow imo, and I don't believe in underestimating her either.

[moltensmusings]

If there were 2 companions I would wish more proper content from it would be Wyll and Halsin.

Wyll is a core companion. He's important to the entire story, a hero of baldurs gate that people know from title alone. He should be known and recognized throughout the city. I want a quest for him that is about him and not just him pushing the main plot. He has an abysmal amount of content and deserves so much better. I entirely missed his act 1 quest because I had no idea how to complete it without killing people, and even then I had no clue those people were important because I wasn't with him the first time I ran through. In act 2 he has almost no content, sure we save Mizora but unless you manage to save florence we miss content for him. How are none of the enemies going to react to the literal son of the Duke being brainwormed and present when their plan heavily involves Duke Ravengard.

This is also coming after the recent patch made his act 3 quest of finding the dragon A SUBQUEST. Updated kisses for him are nice, but not only does he have 1 maybe 2 greetings, but he's also lacking so much content that most companions already have.

Why couldn't we get content of meeting people wyll knew as a teenager who he was maybe friends with? I'm guessing we couldn't visit his estate because they removed the uppercity (which also removed Karlach's fully happy ending). I'm holding out hope that one day we get an upper city release and more content for my boy that gives us people we can ask about his childhood.

Now for Halsin, I love him, he's my favorite, but I'm aware he comes second to Wyll as a character who needs more integration. He's a possible companion you get if you side with the Grove and im fine with that, but please can he get more content. Maybe some dialogue, maybe a not exactly romantic scene after his act 2 quest. Just something more. I've also heart that prerelease he was the one who actually killed Isobel and part of his need to fix the shadowcursed land was due to his guilt about that and knowledge that he's largely to blame for Ketheric. That's so incredibly interesting.

We already know Halsin can be angry from how he acts once we reach the city, I'd love to explore what led up to Isobel's death and the connection between him and Ketheric. Can you imagine an act 2 confrontation if they kept that in? Imagine if having him on the team made it impossible to convince Ketheric to stand down. Meeting isobel again and him knowing who she is but being unwilling to speak because he's already guilty enough. A lot of people's biggest issue with Halsin is they find him boring, removing such an interesting part of the lore was such a bad call. Let him be complex.

Give my boys some proper lore Larian, I'm begging you to give them content.

[bharv]

how do you power through (or otherwise navigate) periods of self consciousness specifically about certain aspects of your writing? example: i get hung up on my "voice" quite a lot -- the feedback i've always received on it has been positive; that it is very distinct and engaging/entertaining/enjoyable to read, and i do pride myself on that, but i also worry that it has the potential to come off as particularly glib or flippant. i have confidence in my content; my characters, my ideas and themes, but i fear the tone that i present them in can be at odds with the more serious stories i want to tell, to the point where it really stymies my writing. i have detailed outlines and rough drafts aplenty, but i'm struggling with stitching everything together and pressing my seams flat so i can hem and add all the other finishing touches. i know i should just bang it all out and then worry about it (and potentially fix it if need be) later, but it's doing my head in to be firing on all other cylinders bar this one.

(and TIA, i appreciate you taking the time to share your knowledge!)

Hello anon! Thank YOU for this brilliant question!

It's really interesting, I think, to have this sort of perceived contrast. I used to direct comedy and it was not an insubstantial part of my income, but if you'd ever asked me to write comedy, I would not even know where to start. I knew the rhythms of a good joke, I knew the technicality of set up and release, and I could take a position that was a step away from the comic and their need to get the laugh at any cost, and I could get an hour of comedy to have an additional seam of travel that could, in theory, elevate it.

But then on the other hand, sometimes you just want to hear a really fucking good joke.

You say the feedback you've had is good. That your voice is distinct and keeps people engaged. Has anybody told you that it's glib? Is this an internal criticism rather than an external one? If it's something you want to challenge, have you tried mixing up your process a little? Perhaps starting without the outline, but starting with an exploration in the language? What does your writing look like if you start with a concept and concentrate of the words first? Does it bring out a difference to you?

On the other hand, especially if this is hobby writing... does it matter if your readers don't dislike it? Perhaps there's something quite fun and enjoyable about a serious subject through a comedic lens - the Locked Tomb books as a very popular example certainly doesn't flinch from being very clever about it!

I realise I'm giving a lot of... hands, here... but at the heart of the question is something you've asked about self-consciousness. There's two ways to deal with that. One is through exploration and challenge, and the other is. The opposite. You started this ask with how do I power through periods of self consciousness and the honest answer is that, these days, I really do just say "NOPE" and keep writing. Especially for fan works. There are things I am not so good at (I am woefully earnest, I think, and struggle as I said with humour and fluff and lightness) and there are things I am better at, and I am here primarily to have fun, so I will do the things I like and occasionally use fic to try out a new technique, and I will let it fail if I need to. If I'm feeling bad at something, I'll spend a little time doing something I'm better at. If I'm feeling bad at everything, I will go back to old comments or old fic that people loved - quite often it's not as "good" as I remember it, and people still loved it, so why don't I give myself a break?

It sounds to me like you're doing a great job, actually, and are beating yourself up over something that might well be a feature, not a bug. And if you do want to try and expand, perhaps look at some writing exercises that put language first and see if they influence how you look at the scene setting of your work. Perhaps you might even discover how much you don't like working that way, and find a new appreciation for what sounds like a very rounded and developed technique to me.

Thanks again for the ask, and I hope some of that ramble was useful :)

[mcsm-confessions]

Since it seems like at least half of the fandom reads this blog, I'm gonna put my words here:

Instead of trying to fix those, who hate on people for ships, we should instead just make our own safe space for it.

Yeah, you all heard me right. We've already talked too much about this, those who wanted to listen — already listened and made it up, but it's literally useless to talk to those who don't want to listen. By posting things like "Leave minors alone" and ect. we don't do anything useful, guys.

Why don't we just make our blogs a safe space for every minor, teen and adult? Why don't we instead put something like "Safe space for rarepairs" in our bios or whatever to let everyone know they can come to us and talk about anything without getting judged?

By constantly posting things like "this discourse is stupid" or "why does Petra's sexuality matter?" we do nothing, but spread the hate even more. Because some people come to this blog for example, and instead of hearing some funny hc or rambles, they see yet another post about bad things in the fandom. Do we really need all of this negative here?

It's a small fandom, and no matter how hard we try, bad people still will be here. The best we can do is not give them the attention they want and instead focus on trying to make other people feel better by giving them attention.

Yeah, spreading the awareness is important, but since when it turned to be the main thing instead of spreading positivity?

I really wish we all (especially those, who have a word in the fandom, big artists or whatever) tried to make more positive content and let people come to us with their crazy thoughts, instead of focusing on arguing with haters on the topic they won't accept anyway.

Please, guys, take care and explore the good content instead of diving into bad part of the fandom.

~~~

[amethystina]

Good morning/afternoon 🌸

I am interested in reading about u have added to these following fics:

Who holds the devil (is it sad ? :()

Gravitational pull (this one is very sexy and sensual. I am excited to see what u added to it !)

I hope u have a lovely day/afternoon/night 🌷 and good luck with ur health 💗

Thank u for always spoiling us 🦋

Good evening! 💜

Alright, here we go!

Who Holds the Devil

To be honest, the most recent thing I did for this fic was to look through my plans for the coming five chapters and rearrange a couple of things. Because I noticed that some scenes needed to come in a different order for the story to make logical sense.

I don't have any snippets as such (again, a lot of it is just a series of lines of dialogue xD) but what I can say is that the next chapter will focus on the trial and Ga On's therapy appointment. Though the latter might not be entirely what you all are hoping for x'D

But there will be lots of Elijah, so that's something?

Yo Han and Ga On are also going to start having somewhat more normal conversations again, either in the next chapter or the one after that (it depends on how many scenes I can fit into the next one without it getting too long). That's not to say that things will be fixed or easy by any means, but they're getting closer to finding some sort of new normal.

Whether or not that's a normal they actually want, well — that's another thing entirely.

Admittedly, this is the story I'm the most careful not to give spoilers for, so sorry for being a little less forthcoming. But I will say that as things are planned right now, chapters 43-47 will all contain scenes I've been waiting months — if not years — to write. I am seriously so excited for a lot of them and I can't wait for you all to see them.

Lots of good things to come! :D

(and by good I sometimes mean painful but I promise it'll be worth it in the end)

Gravitational Pull 2

Oh man, do I feel guilty about this one. Because it's fully plotted. I know exactly what's going to be in it and I'm really looking forward to it since it's going to explore another "what if" scenario that breaks canon, but I'm just... not writing it? For a while there it was because I know this instalment will contain sexual content and that was — and still is — a bit intimidating. But I can't say I've never done it before since I've now written Each Touch. And, in all honesty, the sex in the Gravitational Pull sequel isn't quite as intense, though arguably more ill-advised from a social etiquette standpoint — all Yo Han's fault, obviously.

In the end, I think the main reason I haven't continued — despite wanting to — is lack of time and not having been able to prioritise it. I only have so many hours when I can write and, due to all of my health issues, it's always less than I would like.

That said, I have every intention of continuing and actually have a little bit written already. The fic will continue right after the first one — or the day after, to be more precise, when Yo Han, Ga On, and Jin Joo are in the car heading towards Hyeongsan-dong and the riots.

And here's a little snippet!

---

Ga On tried his best not to look at Yo Han.

The tension lay thick inside the car, the silence pushing against Ga On's eardrums. Judge Oh, who sat in the back, probably assumed it was because of the crisis at hand — apprehension at the thought of what lay ahead of them — but that was only partially true. Ga On was also struggling with an insistent, nerve-wracking hum of concern, making his spine stiff and throat tight.

Yo Han shouldn't be here. He was still injured — only a day had passed since he'd gotten shot.

No matter how grave the situation was, Yo Han should be at home, resting, not driving them to an area of Seoul that was quickly becoming as chaotic as an active war zone.

Ga On gritted his teeth — until his jaws began to hurt from the strain — and looked down at his hands. They were tightly clenched in his lap, his thumb rubbing restlessly over the other. Perhaps Ga On was being too selfish, but he didn't want Yo Han to put himself in danger like this — not when he wasn't at his best. Ga On could admit that Yo Han hid it well but since Ga On knew to look for it, he could see the subtle delay in Yo Han's movements and how he held himself slightly more rigidly than usual.

Yo Han was still in pain.

He still had a goddamn hole in his stomach but pretended that he didn't.

And Ga On had to play along, since Kang Yo Han couldn't show weakness. The people around them couldn't know that the chief judge was injured. The fact that their opponents did was already bad enough — and was probably why they chose now to try and overthrow him. They didn't think Yo Han would be able to fight back as fiercely — with as much precision — as he normally would.

They were expecting an easy victory.

But, even injured, Yo Han was a force to be reckoned with and, as always, would do whatever it took to win.

Even if it jeopardized his own well-being — and Ga On's peace of mind.

---

In canon, Ga On obviously had no idea that Yo Han was injured when they were doing all this reckless shit, but here he does. And BOY does he hate it. Which I can't blame him for. But it's also not going to stop Yo Han because, well, Yo Han.

I think I'm just going to have to schedule a time to finish writing this if I want to get it done — preferably sometime soon...

Thank you so much for the ask! And you have a lovely day too :D

WIP Tag Game

[the-owl-tree]

kind of unfortunate that i keep hearing the g5 series isn't quite as good narrative cohesion wise as the movie, but also g4 was pretty bad towards the end, so maybe some of the problems from the end of that era carried over. I always expect the jump form movie to tv show to come with some down grades with things like art and what not but I feel like they also aren't using the 3d medium well enough. Idk, what do you think abt the differences between the movie and the show?

G4 took a bit of a messy turn (*looks at my rewrite* i could fix you i COULD FIX YOU-) but i feel like it did ultimately try and change meaningfully with the times....which is why it was such a bad call for G5 to so heavily intertwine itself with the lore of G4, it just undoes a lot and instead of being a love letter to G4, it ends up just sort of....being a poor sequel that kicks its predecessor in the teeth. If you wanna do a proper G4 sequel, should have made some of the mane six not ponies but that's besides the point lol

I like that the movie can stand on its own without G4, it's a middling kid's film to me but you know, it has that at least. I actually like how the 3D looks, I remember the rendered poses looked kind of...off, a bit too stubby and not stylized in a way that it worked like they did in G4. But once they got moving, it looked great! The fur rendering is cute and the style grew on me. I gotta agree that i wouldn't have done 3D for the mainline series, seeing as how the 2D YouTube series ended up being able to put out more content than the actual show. i also would not have cast a bunch of celebrities you couldnt get for the main show why does this keep happening it's always distracting when the va has to impersonate the one-off movie celebrity you brought in

that was a mess of thoughts lol i guess i just sort of find g5 to be a mess of ideas that it needs to get more confident in exploring. no more twilight! no more spike! just your new cast!

[bridgeportbritt]

Willington Palace Gardens | Sage, SimDonia

Diana sighs contently

Diana to herself: I hope you love this place as much as I do little one. There's no better place to be alone with your thoughts.... hopefully you'll get more use out of it than I do lately.

Footsteps approaching and voices outside

Gaurd: Your Majesty, a Dr. Fitzgerald is requesting an urgent meeting with you.

Diana: Really? Please send her in.

Dr. Fitz: Your Majesty, I do apologize for the intrustion. I asked a member of your staff where to find you and they directed me here.

Diana: Doctor, is everything alright? It's unusually chilly out today. I'm sorry you had to venture out to find me.

Dr. Fitz: Not a problem at all, ma'am. I have some great news that I couldn't wait for our next appointment to share with you.

Diana: Really? Did you- Did you find a cure?

Dr. Fitz: Sort of. I think we're very close to finding a noninvasive treatment plan that will block all the symptons related to this defect. It's a short term fix, but the longer cure is still on our rader. But, I thought this is something you'd want us to explore, as well.

Diana: Absolutely! That's amazing! What do you need from me?

Dr. Fitz: Well, we still need to do some testing to see if the treatments are successful. It will need to be on each member of the family we found with the defect. Seeing the responses from this will help not only create a plan to block the symptoms, but hopefully fully cure them, as well.

Diana: This is music to my ears. When can we start?

Dr. Fitz: We can start right away if you like. Our team is about ready.

Diana: Fantastic. I say, we go ahead, then. Great work, Doctor.

Dr. Fitz: Of course, ma'am. I will, of course, need your go ahead on informing the patients of the ongoing treatment.

Diana: What do you mean?

Dr. Fitz: Legally, ma'am, our team cannot administer treatment without consent from the patient.

Diana: I see.

Dr. Fitz: I'm sorry, ma'am. I know discretion about this matter has been of the upmost importance to you.

Diana sighs: No, don't be sorry. I imagine it's time I come clean about this. I was just... hoping I had more time.

Dr. Fitz: I understand. Should we postpone the treatment?

Diana: Yes, I need to inform everyone myself. Then, we will move forward.

Dr. Fitz: Understood, ma'am.

[aiseoexpert]

Best Taxi Service in Udaipur: Your Ultimate Guide to Hassle-Free Travel in the City of Lakes

Exploring Udaipur is like stepping into a storybook of palaces, lakes, and vibrant markets. Whether you're here for a weekend getaway, a business trip, or a longer stay, having reliable taxi service is essential to make the most of your visit. In this guide, we’ll cover everything you need to know about choosing the best taxi service in Udaipur, including why you should pick us, types of taxis available, and tips for an affordable and smooth ride.

Table of Contents

Why Choose Our Udaipur Taxi Services?

Types of Taxi Services Available

Benefits of Hiring a Private Taxi in Udaipur

Affordable Taxi Options for Every Traveler

Tips for Choosing the Best Taxi Service in Udaipur

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Why Choose Our Udaipur Taxi Services?

Finding a reliable, affordable, and safe taxi service in Udaipur can be a challenge, but we aim to make your experience exceptional with our services. Here’s why we stand out:

Experienced Local Drivers: Our drivers are well-versed in Udaipur’s routes, historical sites, and local secrets, ensuring a safe and insightful journey.

24/7 Availability: Whether you’re looking for an early morning ride or a late-night drop-off, our taxis are available around the clock.

Multiple Payment Options: We accept various payment methods, including cash, cards, and digital payments, for your convenience.

Clean and Well-Maintained Vehicles: Enjoy a comfortable ride with our regularly serviced, air-conditioned cars, including options like the Innova Crysta, Swift Desire, and sedans.

If you’re looking for the best taxi service in Udaipur, we provide the perfect mix of quality, affordability, and comfort.

2. Types of Taxi Services Available in Udaipur

Udaipur’s diverse range of taxi options caters to every traveler’s needs. Here are some of the popular options we provide:

Sedan Taxi Service in Udaipur : For those who value comfort and style, our sedan taxis offer a smooth and quiet ride. Ideal for small families or business travelers.

Innova Crysta Taxi Service in Udaipur : Known for its spacious interiors and robust performance, the Innova Crysta Taxi is perfect for larger groups or families. This model is particularly suited for long-distance trips.

Swift Desire Taxi in Udaipur : Compact yet comfortable, the Swift Desire is ideal for solo travelers or couples who need a quick, efficient ride around the city.

Hire Taxi in Udaipur : For travelers who prefer privacy, our private taxi services ensure that you get a personalized experience. Whether it’s a business trip or a leisure outing, enjoy exclusive, uninterrupted rides.

3. Benefits of Hiring a Private Taxi in Udaipur

Hirng a private taxi in Udaipur offers a level of convenience and flexibility that’s hard to beat. Here’s what you can expect:

Flexible Itinerary: You’re not bound to fixed schedules. Stop, explore, and move at your own pace.

Local Insights: Our drivers not only know the roads but also know the best places to visit, eat, and shop.

Safety and Security: Private taxis are a safer option, especially for tourists unfamiliar with the local area.

Whether it’s a quick day tour or a multiple-day excursion, hiring a taxi in Udaipur gives you complete control of your journey.

4. Affordable Taxi Options for Every Traveler

Everyone’s budget is different, and we’re here to make sure that cost doesn’t prevent you from exploring Udaipur. Here are some of our budget-friendly options:

Taxi on Rent in Udaipur: Renting a taxi for a day or even longer periods can save you money and give you the freedom to explore without constantly looking for new transportation.

Taxi Hire in Udaipur: Our flexible packages allow you to hire a taxi for as many hours or days as you need, with transparent pricing and no hidden charges.

Affordable Taxi Services in Udaipur: We offer competitive rates without compromising on quality, providing options suitable for both short and long-distance travel within and outside the city.

5. Tips for Choosing the Best Taxi Service in Udaipur

Check Reviews: Look for customer reviews on platforms like Google, Yelp, and TripAdvisor to gauge the quality of service.

Compare Prices: Compare rates from different providers, but don’t sacrifice quality for lower costs.

Confirm Inclusions: Make sure your taxi package includes fuel, tolls, and driver charges to avoid unexpected fees.

Ask About Safety Measures: Choose a service that follows strict safety and hygiene protocols.

6. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q1: How do I book a taxi in Udaipur?

Booking a taxi with us is easy. You can book online through our website, give us a call, or use our app. Simply enter your pickup and drop-off details, and we’ll take care of the rest.

Q2: What types of cars do you offer?

We offer a range of vehicles to suit your needs, including sedans, Swift Desire, Innova Crysta, and other premium models.

Q3: Can I hire a taxi for outstation trips?

Yes, we provide outstation taxi services. You can hire a taxi for long-distance trips within Rajasthan and to neighboring states.

Q4: Is there a limit on luggage?

Each car type has a different luggage limit. For example, sedans can carry about two large bags, while the Innova Crysta can hold up to four. Let us know your requirements when booking.

Q5: Are your taxi services available at the Udaipur Airport?

Yes, we provide convenient airport pickup and drop-off services for travelers arriving or departing from Maharana Pratap Airport.

Choosing the right taxi service in Udaipur can make all the difference in your journey through this beautiful city. With our range of services, from sedan taxis to private car hires, we ensure a smooth, safe, and affordable ride for every traveler. Contact us today to make your booking and explore Udaipur with ease.

[sashaisready]

Chapter Eight

Lee Bodecker (The Devil All The Time) x Femme Reader

A year after the sudden death of your husband you find yourself at a loose end, unsure what to do next. You're also learning about your sexuality - your hidden desires and fantasies creeping out now you're no longer playing the role of the good wife. A certain Sheriff in town could be the one to awaken something in you.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

WARNING: Huge TW for sexual assault/implied rape by secondary character in this chapter. It's not described with details but please skip if you need to

Your eyes flew open and you took a moment to gather your bearings. You were feeling much warmer than you usually were in bed, it was only then that you noticed the firm arm wrapped around you.

Lee.

You rolled over to face him. You must've drifted off as you were still clad in your lingerie. It felt wrong to be wearing it so early in the morning. You could feel your gusset was sticky with the spend from last night's venture. Lee must've put his arm around you at some point in the night which made you feel warm inside.

He was still in a deep sleep, snoring lightly. He looked so innocent while he slept, a far cry from the slightly scary man in his Sheriff uniform. His features were so much softer like this, his eyelashes long, his cheeks chubby. You couldn't resist running a finger under his jaw, desperate to touch him.

Lee stirred, turning to you as he woke. He smiled.

"Well ain't you a sight for sore eyes". His voice was lower than usual and croaky with sleep. You liked it.

"Good morning Lee" you sang, pressing a small kiss to his cheek.

He hummed contentedly, pulling you closer and nuzzling into your hair. It all so was comfortable, relaxed – you could get used to this.

"Have you gotta be up for work or should I fix you some breakfast?" you asked sleepily, his heated embrace making you drowsy again.

"Ain't gotta be in 'til eleven thirty today so breakfast sounds swell".

You made a noise of recognition and sat up to go get started on some eggs, but a strong hand tugged you back down into the mattress.

"Not so fast. I'm in the mood for a different kinda breakfast first" he teased as you shrieked and surrendered to his touch, melting into him.

🌼

Breakfast was nice. After going another round in the bedroom, you had made eggs and coffee for you both while Lee read the morning paper. You plated up at the table while Lee absent-mindedly ran a finger up your arm without looking up. It all felt very natural, very easy.

You talked for a while as you ate, the longest you had gone without kissing or touching since this whole thing had started. You were surprised to find you actually had things in common, the conversation flowed easily between you both.

Lee was feeling content. A beautiful woman hadn't made him breakfast in a long time, and the truth was he liked being with you. He liked having sex with you. He liked talking to you. He was content to see where it went.

He had even stopped driving out to Tecumseh to visit the working girls. He didn't need to now he had you. And funnily enough, despite their occupation, you were actually dirtier and more adventurous then most of them put together. Probably better for the Sheriff campaigns, too.

It was clear you still had some baggage and hang ups from your husband but that was to be expected. A year wasn't that long, after all. So he understood you might be feeling guilty or unsure. He'd certainly moved on from his ex-wife, but being a widow was a bit different to divorce.

What he couldn't wrap his head around was your husband's reluctance to fuck you, or thinking of you as a whore for wanting it. What kind of man doesn't want to have sex with his pretty wife? His pretty wife who is eager to explore all that sex has to offer, who is so keen to experiment and embrace pleasure that she reads dirty books in bed and touches herself before she goes to sleep?

A foolish man, he thought.

Still, the husband's loss was his gain. He was reaping all the rewards of your forced celibacy, and he was more than happy to help out. The great thing was you were just as attracted to him as he was to you. You didn't merely tolerate him, but enjoyed him – desiring every inch him, love handles and all.

"So, when you gonna let me take you out on a real date then?" Lee asked suddenly.

You choked on a mouthful of coffee, swallowing it down quickly. "W-what?" you asked.

Lee was unfazed. "You heard me. We could go somewhere nice. Get dressed up. And we wouldn't have t'sneak around no more".

You thought for a moment, "I'd like that...but what would they say?"

Lee shrugged. "Who cares what they fuckin' say?"

You chewed your lip as you mulled it over. It would be nice to go out on a real date with Lee, and you couldn't pretend you hadn't thought about dating him and doing more than just sleeping together. Part of you had a niggling fear that something wasn't right about him. But what could dating hurt? You could always break it off if it didn't work out.

"Okay" you smiled at him, "You're on. Where you taking me?"

Lee smiled back, taking a final sip of coffee and getting to his feet. "There's a new restaurant a few towns over we could try. Wednesday night maybe?"

You nod enthusiastically, trying to hide your excitement so you don't seem too keen. "I'm working the afternoon shift at the diner but if you don't mind a late dinner I can be home and ready for eight?"

Lee put his jacket on. "Great. I gotta get goin' so I can clean up and change before my shift. But I'll see you Wednesday night".

"It's a date" you replied.

Lee rounded the table and gave you a kiss as he headed to the front door. "Thanks for breakfast, sweetness. And for last night".

You smiled to yourself as he left, already wondering what you should wear for Wednesday night.

🌼

Wednesday came around quickly and you were even more excited about your date with Lee as your shift had been a nightmare. Demanding customers, burnt food courtesy of the cook you suspected had snuck a joint in his break, small tips and the cash register was inexplicably down $7.50 which of course you were blamed for. You needed a palate cleanse from this terrible day.

You had stayed late to lock up as your co-workers scattered. On Wednesdays the diner always closed early. Something to do with the old owner doing it years ago because of his church group meetings, and the current owner adopting that tradition just because. Classic small town routine and ritual. It was amazing how quiet everything was past 7pm – all the businesses closed up and there was no sign of any life except the bar on the edge of town. It was dark, eerie. But you checked your watch, still plenty of time to get home and get ready in time for Lee.

You got into your car ready to shoot off back to your house but the damn thing wouldn't start. Of course it wouldn't! The cherry on the shit sundae of today. You kept turning your key over and over trying to get it to run but no joy, it sounded like the engine had flooded as it stuttered and spat.

You groaned in frustration. Yours was the only car left in the lot, everyone else had gone home. You got out the car and had a look around to see if there were any cars nearby or locals who could help you out but there was nobody to be seen. It was as if the town had been evacuated suddenly without you noticing.

You realised your only course of action was to unlock the diner, go back inside and call Lee to tell him what had happened. You could kick yourself for your bad luck.

As you wrestled the diner keys back out of your purse and started on the locks, you noticed the sheen of headlights approaching. It was a police cruiser.

You gasped, was this Lee saving the day? What were the odds! Maybe he'd decided to pick you up from the diner instead. You flagged the cruiser down excitedly.

As the car drew a stop outside the diner you realised it wasn't Lee, but a much appreciated face all the same.

"Deputy Davey!" you exclaimed. Thank goodness. You felt the relief wash over you as you relaxed.

Davey rolled down the window and rested his elbow on the car door. "You okay here, ma'am?"

"Deputy, thank goodness" you told him breathlessly as you rushed towards him. "My car ain't starting and I need to get home. Any chance I could trouble you for a lift?"

Davey smiled wobbly at you. You couldn't put your finger on it but something seemed...off about him.

"Sure thing, little lady. Hop on in".

Was he...slurring?

Surely not. Not Davey. He was the most professional cop on the force. He had been there for you when Arthur died. He was married to Julie. Kind Julie who held your hand in the grocery store.

You grinned at him and slipped into the back of the cruiser, relieved that you wouldn't be late for Lee.

"Thanks for this, you've really saved me!" you told Davey as he set off.

Davey smiled crookedly, watching you in the mirror. "You're welc-hic-welcome" he stumbled.

"You got a case of the hiccups huh?" you laughed, slightly nervously. Something wasn't right here. You felt dread settling in.

"Fine. Allfine, don'tchoworry about me...honey".

You were right. He was slurring.

You managed to laugh breezily, trying not to show him that you were nervous.

"Uh...busy night tonight Davey?" you asked casually.

He grinned at you sloppily in the mirror reflection. "Mmmm. Just responded t'call out at the bar. Y'know how it is".

You nodded. "Did you uh...stop to have a drink there too?"

He laughed. "Just a coupla beers, honey. Nothin' t'worry 'bout".

It was clearly more than just a few beers. You could smell the whiskey permeating through the suffocating air of the car. You felt the dread settling in the pit of your stomach. But you were nearly home now. Just a teeny bit longer and you'd be home. And Lee would be there, and all would be alright.

Until he sped past the exit for your street.

"Uh...Davey. That was my turn off..." you exclaimed, the nerves starting to show.

Davey said nothing, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Davey?" you asked again.

Still no response.

"Look, if you let me out right here that's fine. I'll walk the rest of the way. Thanks again for the ride".

You rattled the passenger door handle, but of course you can't open police cars from the inside if you're in the backseat.

"Fuck" you muttered. You were now really scared. You could feel the hairs on your arms standing on end.

"I can think o'a few ways you can thank me for the ride" mumbled Davey.

You looked up to the mirror to find his eyes staring back at you. They looked dead, dark. Like the eyes of a shark.

"Just let me out the fucking car Davey and nobody has to know about this" you spat, trying to sound authoritative but coming off more pleading.

"I've seen the way you look at me" he garbled.

"What?" you spat.

"I've seen it. You're always smilin' at me. I know you want me..."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're talking about. Just pull over, now". Your heart was beating painfully in your chest. Every sense felt heightened.

"Don't play hard to get" he mumbled.

"This is ridiculous, stop! What about Julie?" you shouted. Desperately trying the door again to no avail.

"What she don't know won't hurt her".

He pulled over abruptly onto a dirt road. Before you knew it he was climbing over the seats towards you, his eyes blazing with lust and anger. You began to scream, doing your best to fight him off. You managed to land a few blows but he overpowered you, flipping you over and tearing at your clothes, pummelling you.

You let your mind go blank, switching yourself off and closing your eyes. It was as if you left your body. You were no longer in the cruiser, you were home safe with Lee. Everything was okay.

Lee.

Your heart hurt as you thought about him, he was going to think you'd stood him up. That you didn't want to go on the date with him. But you did want to go. It's all you wanted.

But instead you had willingly stepped into the mouth of a wolf.

Arthur would probably say you had deserved this. How silly of you to act the way you had. Parading around town having sex with men you didn't know.

You're not sure exactly when Davey had finished but you eventually realised the car was moving again. He had returned to the front seat and was driving in silence. You slowly pulled your torn dress back over your head, wincing at the soreness which had enveloped your body.

He drove up to your front door and got out, stepping around to the back passenger side and opening it for you wordlessly. You slumped out into the cold air, refusing to look at him or acknowledge him as you sloped up to your house.

"One more thing, buttercup" Davey called out behind you. You didn't turn to face him, but stopped in your tracks. "Don't forget...nobody would believe you".

And you knew he was right.

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack Headcanons - Alice and Ian's Breakup

I wound up going on a bit of a ramble in a thread over on twitter yesterday about the breakup between Ian and Alice. My friend @sai-of-the-7-stars suggested that I put it in a tumblr too, so here we go, with some extra thoughts and commentary. After all, once you get me going on a ramble it's hard to stop me, hahahaha.

Before I begin, I'll quickly link to some previous theories that relate to this discussion, such as why Ian cheated, a few spicy details about Alice and Ian's sex life, reasons why Alice can't bring herself to hurt Ian, her family's reactions to his cheating, and other assorted headcanons relating to the two of them and their breakup here, here, here, and here. I'm probably missing some links to relevant prior discussions, but there are so many headcanons at this point that even a search engine isn't enough to sort through them all, haha.

Disclaimer: these headcanons apply to my personal fan made continuity known as Sunshine in Hell and don't necessarily reflect the game. No doubt the actual relationship between MC and Ian is going to have a different set of nuances to it than I'm exploring in my writing. Not to mention each MC is unique and the branching paths of the game will lead to different outcomes between these two.

Also, content warning: this post will discuss a relationship turned toxic, unhealthy levels of emotional dependency, codependency, emotional manipulation, self-loathing, past traumas, religious guilt, and just unhealthy relationship dynamics in general. This is an Adults Only game and touches on mature topics after all.

With that out of the way, let's discuss how Alice tried to end her relationship with Ian before the start of Sunshine in Hell... which, as we can see in chapter 6, was less than successful.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Ian really needs therapy. Thanks to a lifetime of abuse at the hands of his toxic mother, not to mention the bullying and isolation he received from his peers while growing up, he has a lot of issues. Really, I'd argue he probably needs therapy more than he needs a relationship right now.

Alice isn't ignorant of that fact. Her coming to the realization that a lot of their relationship revolved around her trying to help fix his issues for him was pretty much the key that led her to choosing to end things for good. As much as she wants to help Ian, as much as she loves him... she can't fix him. No one should be expected to fix anyone else's issues... especially if they've given up on the idea that they can get better.

Ian's self-confidence is... pretty miserable, to be frank. We've seen plenty of examples of it in the demo and in teasers. He depends on his partner to be the strong one. He doesn't see himself being able to handle going on without them... He sees MC as the strong one, and he pretty much is so used to being torn down that he tears himself down preemptively, constantly feeling the need to apologize.

Alice did try to help Ian with his confidence. Since the first day they met, she has been there for him, supported him, cared for him deeply... and eventually loved him more than anyone else. She defended him from bullies, held him whenever he cried, reassured him that he's better than what everyone else has said, listened to him vent, and accepted every apology he's given her regardless if he actually made a mistake or not.

She accepted his apologies even if he didn't actually understand what he did wrong.

There were good moments between them, but Ian kept needing Alice's support. He couldn't handle standing on his own. He depended on her to the point that it was crushing. Things would have been more balanced between them if he shouldered some of the weight of her problems as well, but he couldn't handle them. He was convinced he couldn't. He wasn't strong like her.

Ian was supportive, but it was a far more fragile support, one that crumbled so very easily as the pressure overwhelmed him.

Alice is the oldest child in a large and loving family. She's been the responsible child, helping with all the younger siblings. She coped with being sick with something incurable, and never let the bullies see her cry. She stood up to Ian's mother directly for his sake, something that he could never bring himself to do. She always seemed so much larger than life to him even though they were the same age. She always seemed better than him, at least in his eyes.

Ian couldn't understand why Alice struggled with self-confidence issues. Maybe it was his fault? If it was, he's sorry. He thinks she's beautiful and other people are weird. He doesn't like them like he likes her. If she's feeling bad, then it must be his fault, and he's so sorry...

Essentially, Ian was so ready to take the blame for everything... including his partner's own problems. This left Alice needing to reassure him on top of handle her own issues.

So it was just easier for Alice not to talk about issues with Ian. She just dismissed her problems as something she could handle. She can deal with it. She's oldest in her house. She's mature. She's smart. Heck, she was gifted in school. Gifted kid burnout what's that?

Ian doesn't have support like Alice does. His family doesn't love him. His only family abuses him. He needs her. He needs her understanding. He doesn't mean to hurt her. Heck, he's feeling bad because she's feeling bad. How can that be toxic behavior?

That's why it took Alice so long to accept that what she and Ian had wasn't a healthy relationship. She was supporting the emotional weight for both of them, and Ian thought that supporting her financially would balance that scale... though he didn't think he could make it on his own.

The signs were there even before Ian left for his prestigious school. The long distance relationship made their problems worse, since Ian didn't have Alice to support him in the way he was used to. There were scheduling problems and suddenly he had all these friends that were demanding his time. He had connections he needed to forge, a chance at actually making it in the future... and he got a taste of popularity for the first time. He got to see that other people weren't as weird or off-putting as he convinced himself they were...

Supporting Ian over phone calls and messaging aps was harder for Alice to do than in person. She couldn't hold him while he cried. She struggled for words sometimes, as verbal conversations are her weak point. Texting was easier in that regard, but that was so impersonal to Ian. He needed to hear her voice and see her face.

Whenever Ian had a problem, he brought it to Alice, asking her what he should do. Over time he leaned on her advice more as they grew. He depended on her when they were living together and even after moving he needed her help... though there were things he would keep secret from her for fear that she wouldn't understand. After all, he felt so much shame towards himself and his desires...

The cheating was the breaking point for the two of them, but even then that wasn't the end right away. Despite Alice being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and accidentally injuring herself after finding out... she wanted to forgive Ian. He was sorry. She knew that was sorry. She knew him better than anyone. She believed his story that it just happened... that he just got swept up by the other person's charms and lost control of himself.

After all, Ian had a history of losing control of himself when it came to sex.

There were couples that did come back from cheating. It wasn't impossible, and Alice didn't want the relationship to be over. She wanted so badly to believe that it was just another mistake made by Ian. Poor, clumsy, apologetic Ian... the only one who could ever love or desire her...

But this wasn't healthy. Their relationship after this while trying to repair things was so much worse. Alice couldn't even handle kissing Ian, and the guilt struck him each time she asked for more time before she could handle physical intimacy with him again. Before, she could power through even being choked or rough sex despite hating it, but now...

It felt wrong. His "I love you" and all those promises that she was the only one for him felt like lies. Ian still spent time with those friends of his who crossed boundaries, not even completely cutting off the person he cheated with. He couldn't due to the connections he was forming to further his career. He was just starting out, and those connections would make or break everything. He had to smile for the camera and socialize. He had to become successful.

It was the only way to make his cheating worth it at that point. It was the only way Ian could see repairing what he had broken.

It was hellish for both of them. Alice eventually was forced to realize that this wasn't what a relationship was supposed to look like - romantic or otherwise. With the help of her friends like Shaun and some of her family, she was able to accept that there really was no coming back from this.

Their relationship had been sick for a long time, and the cheating was the final blow that killed it. Nothing good would come from trying to force its corpse to keep moving even as it continued to rot.

Really, what helped Alice manage the strength to end things was knowing that this was damaging Ian as well. She was so used to just accepting her own pain for his sake that it really was what was needed to make her see that this self-sacrifice wasn't good for either of them.

Alice realized that she wasn't Ian's support like she always thought she was - she was his enabler. She let him use her in order to feel better, more like a bandage over his issues than a person. She had become more like a narcotic he depended on to hobble through the day rather than taking real steps to get better.

So, when Alice decided that it had to end, she wrote down everything she wanted to say. It was the only way she would be able to force him to see the truth like she did. She wanted Ian to get help, go to therapy, explore what he really wanted out of life... without her. Without considering her at all in the future. He had to be independent of her... and she needed to be independent of him.

The relationship was too toxic. The trust was gone. It was best for both of them if they went their separate ways.

Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly.

Ian, of course, couldn't accept this. Alice couldn't even read out the entire speech she wrote down before he was on his knees in tears, begging her not to give up on him, on them... to not throw him away like everyone else. He made mistakes, but he'll do better. He's so sorry! He loves her!

Ian always had a way of knowing how to make Alice want to protect him.

It's hard ending things with someone you love, even if you know it's what's best for the both of you.

Try as she might, Alice couldn't be harsh on Ian. She couldn't yell and scream or smash things... she felt so bad for him. She still loved him so, so much... wanted the world for him... and that love was stifling his growth... and slowly killing her.

The best Alice could do was a compromise. A break. They would be broken up "for now." They needed to give each other space if there was any hope of them reconciling in the future.

It was the biggest lie Alice ever told Ian, and he was desperate enough to believe it.

To Alice there is no chance. It hurts too much. That's why she left their shared apartment, left behind anything she could afford to that had too many memories attached to Ian. Anything she couldn't, she has to try and work through her own issues with in her new place.

She didn't tell him where she moved.

To Ian, this is just a break. That's all it is. This is just like if one of them went off to camp for a week before they got cell phones and couldn't make contact. They'll get back together. He just has to fix things. He has to make what he did worth it. He has to get them the house they always dreamed off in the place they always wanted to raise kids in... plenty of money to take care of them both where Alice never has to worry about anything ever again, not even him cheating...

But Ian knows they're on the brink. Alice doesn't call him or send him messages, and that's terrifying. He did give her some time at first. Maybe a week or two... but she wasn't posting on her social medias. He didn't know what she was up to. Was she eating or taking care of herself? She skipped meals sometimes. She overworked herself so much. She hurt herself badly before without him. What if she was in the hospital again? Who would tell him?

So Ian stalks Alice on her socials. He contacts anyone who knows her and is still willing to try and mediate things between them, like Coraline and a couple mutual friends. He sends her voice mails and messages so she won't forget him, making sure she knows he's sorry and that he'll fix things.

Ian is willing to apologize every day for the rest of his life if it'll fix things.

Alice never answers him, and that only makes him more desperate to hear from her. It's what leads him to leaving so many voice mails. He's not blocked, and he knows she didn't change her number since he still hears her sweet voice asking callers to leave a message... but she never gets back to him.

Ian makes posts about stuff she would like on his socials, hoping to spark conversations, trying to provoke a response, but they don't. Sometimes he tags her with things he knows she likes. He knows he's not blocked so she must see them. He tagged them properly!

They know each other better than anyone, right? Ian knows more about Alice than even her family knows. Even when things ended, he knew she loves him, even if he couldn't understand why she would insist on taking a break despite them loving each other...

They'll get over this. They have to. They've come back from other rough patches. They still love each other. It's just a break. Alice said so herself. Eventually... as long as Ian just tries harder to fix things... things will be okay between them in the end... right?

Every message from Ian is hell to Alice. Every tear he sheds because of her is like acid on her skin. She wants to scream at him to just stop since it hurts so much... but she can't because she knows he's hurting too.

Alice ended things. She had to be strong for both of them. She always had to be the strong one. The only way things would get better is if she stays strong and never says a word to Ian again. Eventually... he'll figure out that he doesn't need her... that he shouldn't need her like he convinced himself does.

The sad thing is that Ian is aware that Alice still cares. If she didn't, she would have blocked him. She wouldn't let his messages get through. He doesn't know if she's listening to his messages, but he still sends them with the hope that she is, that something he says somehow makes things right.

Ian, unfortunately, isn't self-aware of how manipulative he's being. It hasn't really clicked that this is far beyond Alice being hurt by him cheating or upset by him "not measuring up as a partner" as he believes it to be. He's not seeing his toxic traits and wasn't really listening when Alice tried to tell him what the real problems were in that final speech when they broke up.

Ian knows he's a crappy partner. He knows he's all these awful things people said he was that Alice used to reassure him that he wasn't. This just proves it. He just has to make everything worth it in the end, give her things she needs that can make her feel proud of having a successful partner like him, someone actually worthy of being partners with someone so kind and giving...

This is why Ian needs therapy so badly. He's focusing on the wrong issues without really understanding what he's really doing to Alice that's so damaging. He is the pitiful victim, substandard and pathetic, needing someone stronger than him to love him despite his flaws.

Ian was focusing so much on what's wrong with him and what he thinks he needs to improve that he doesn't realize how much he's taking from Alice... and he doesn't really listen to what he needed to give in return in order for them to be equal as partners.

All relationships are about give and take from both sides. Unfortunately, Alice kept giving and Ian kept taking.

Apologies aren't enough when a person keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Eventually even, "I'm sorry," can be repeated until the words become utterly meaningless.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

We'll Save You (2/4)

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Janus cooks with Virgil, it goes... not great, at least not for the bread.

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| <- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter -> |

TWs: implied/referenced past abuse, panic attack, self deprication

Word Count: 2523

Notes:

Chapter 2 of this! Day 3 of @anaroceitweek, I'm in a huge rush this is barely edited I might come back and fix it up later aaaaaa-

This ones a little shorter, and I unfortunately I won't be able to write the next two chapters in time for their days of the week, but I will finish this fic!! My parents just planned a really inconveniently timed holiday. I hope you enjoy!

Also! This fic is linked to ao3 now! Just click on the title :)

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Janus woke up peacefully for the first time… ever. 

There were warm sunbeams shining across the bed in which he woke and a light, comfortable breeze drifting across his face. The plain sheets were messy now - he must’ve tossed and turned a bit in the night - and the pillow he had gone to sleep holding was now on the floor. But regardless, Janus somehow found himself feeling well rested and… content. 

He hadn’t remembered where he was at first, looking around in panic thinking he’d fallen asleep in one of The Lady’s chambers he was supposed to be cleaning, but as his panic subsided everything started coming back to him. He should be safe here, 

Somehow knowing that didn’t stop him from flinching when someone knocked on the door. 

“You look… better,” Anxiety said, stepping into the room when Janus hesitantly called a ‘come in’. He tensed, just a little. Anxiety’s aura was oppressive, almost heavy, to the point where even Janus - a mortal with no magical powers - could feel it. It seemed to brush just the edges of his mind, as if looking for a way into his thoughts, and it felt so familiar - so much like Hers - that he couldn’t help but pale as they stepped closer. 

“I brought you food,” Anxiety said when Janus didn’t speak, “Ro told me everything from yesterday, and for what it’s worth I hate what you’ve been through. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“What do you care?” Janus asked, frowning but not taking his eyes off of Anxiety for a second, “You’re like her.”

“I know our auras are similar,” Anxiety said, a little sadly, “But I assure you that I’m nothing like her.”

The way the words seemed to hiss from Anxiety’s mouth jollted Janus into some kind of sense - she had never hissed like that, her voice was always smooth and sickly sweet, even when she was angry. And Anxiety was fae, he couldn’t have said that if it wasn’t true. 

“We’re going to protect you here,” Anxiety said, “Both me and Ro, but for us to do that… you need to trust us.”

“I can’t,” Janus admitted, looking up at Anxiety, his presence was still unsettling and nervewracking, it still felt like her even if he knew they weren’t the same.

“That’s okay,” Anxiety sighed, perhaps a little frustrated, but nothing more, “I will leave this here, you’re welcome to explore the house, if you want to.”

“...okay,” Janus nodded. Anxiety nodded back, placing the tray of food they held down on a small side table before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Janus waited a few minutes before pulling himself up. Carefully testing his legs and finding that - while they still burned from overuse - they didn’t buckle like before. He took a few experimental steps and found that aside from his straining muscles he felt… fine. 

It was strange, it had been a long time since he’d woken up without fresh bruises and cuts causing him pain.

Grabbing the tray - which seemed to be made of pure silver, Janus felt almost dirty touching it with his bare hands - he made his way over to a chair and table in the corner of the room and sat down. For a long while he simply stared at the meal in front of him. A simple breakfast of what looked to be typically mortal foods - two fried eggs, a strip of bacon and a piece of toasted bread - along with a glass of what smelled like some kind of fruit juice. While the food may look mortal enough, Janus could still pinpoint the slight sheen that came with faerie food. He remembered then what Prince had said yesterday. He’d need faerie food to be sustained, he couldn’t live on mortal food anymore. 

Eventually, after staring for long enough that the food probably started to go cold, Janus relented and picked up the cutlery that also sat on the tray and began to eat. He couldn’t help but make a noise in delight - this was potentially the best food he’d had… ever. 

He ate slowly, trying to savour every bite of food he took. Still not quite reassured that he would get more, and it was delicious, much better than anything he had ever had back before, and definitely better than the leftovers and scraps he was rarely fed after that apple back with Her. 

When he was finished he left the tray on the table and got up to look around the room he had been left in. Anxiety had told him that he could explore, and maybe he would… later, he wasn’t prepared to leave the safety of this room just yet. 

It must have been a few hours later when someone returned, this time it was someone Janus didn’t recognise, who didn’t speak to him as they took the tray he had left from breakfast and left another in it’s place - this one housing what looked to be a sandwich - before hurrying out of the room again. 

Three days passed until Janus finally got bored enough that he would rather risk leaving his room than staying. The view from the balcony was lovely, but there was only so much admiring he could possibly do. Even the worry that he might go somewhere he wasn’t supposed to was dampened with his need to find something to do. 

From the hallway outside of his door, Janus chose a random direction and began walking. Attempting to keep track of turns he took in his head so that he’d be able to find his way back to his room once he was done. 

On his way he passed many rooms, some bedrooms that looked similarly to his, but as he turned into what must have been a new wing of the house he started seeing new places - a cozy looking sitting room, a larger study… 

As he got to the centre of the house, he found that the ceiling opened up into a huge open courtyard walled in on each side. Looking down he discovered that he was on the second floor and below him seemed to be an exotic garden. A large tree with drooping leaves and branches in the centre surrounded by all manner of plants and flowers. Okay, Janus nodded to himself, he needed to find a way downstairs.

Fortunately, the stairs didn’t prove too difficult to locate and quickly enough Janus found himself walking through the courtyard, admiring the flowers that came in more colours than Janus knew existed, some of which shimmered in the sunlight, others which seemed to turn towards him as he made his way through. He didn’t touch anything, well aware that it was all likely magical, but that didn’t stop him from admiring the plants until he continued on his exploration. 

He found an extravagantly decorated ballroom - even more so than the rest of this already extravagant house - which backed onto what seemed to be extensive gardens from what Janus could see from inside. He found what seemed to be a formal dining room, a second study, another living room and a library big enough to make Janus feel tiny in comparison - he made a mental note. He’d have to go back there later, if he really as allowed to stay.

Eventually he came across a slightly duller part of the house that seemed to be a little more populated with people who Janus hadn’t seen before. They seemed to be working here, with laundry or food or other cleaning - servants. Janus was worried for a moment that these people were stuck here like he used to be, but after overhearing a conversation about weekend plans - the maid was going home for the weekend to see her family - he was reassured that they at the very least weren’t forced to stay here. 

Another thing Janus found interesting to note was that they all seemed to ignore him in his entirety. 

How odd.

In the end, he found his way to the kitchen, poking his head through the door as he had every other room he passed in the house. Only this time when he looked inside he saw someone he recognised. 

What was Anxiety doing in the kitchen? Janus thought. From what he had gathered, they and Prince seemed to be in charge around here, and they had plenty of servants. It was never the master of the house’ job to cook, why, if She had ever been seen in the kitchen she would have thrown a fit!

He must have looked for just a second too long, because despite having his back turned, Anxiety seemed to notice him. 

“Hello Deceit,” Anxiety said, without turning around. They seemed to be focused on what they were doing, “Finally ventured out of your room I see?”

Janus stood up straighter, taking a deep breath and attempting to look a lot more confident than he felt. Anxiety still worried him, but seeing him every morning - he’d made a point to be the one bringing Janus breakfast the past few days, Prince always brought dinner - had gotten him a little more used to the aura, “I decided to explore a little.”

“Do you like the house?” Anxiety asked, “Prince built it.”

“Really?” Janus said, tentatively stepping inside and closing the door, “It’s a very nice house.”

“I’m glad you enjoy it,” Anxiety nodded, finally turning around, their hands were covered in what looked like dough, “Would you like to help me?”

Janus’ eyes narrowed, immediately suspicious, “What are you doing?”

Anxiety chuckled at Janus’ expression, “Just making bread rolls, nothing nefarious.”

“Okay,” Janus said, nodding and slowly making his way over. Helping Anxiety cook wasn’t… the worst thing, right? He’d cooked before, never with Her - he wasn’t good enough for that - but… before, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s fine,” Anxiety waved him off, before stepping to the side to give Janus some space to stand, “Here uh- you can just copy what I’m doing? We’re just kneading the dough right now.”

The next few minutes were spent kneading dough in silence. It took Janus a moment to get the hang of, but by the time Anxiety said they were ready to be split into smaller dough balls he had basically gotten the hang of it. 

It was interesting, he still hadn’t quite figured out why Anxiety was doing the cooking, but he looked happy doing it. His dark eyes sparkling with his small smile. This was really the first time Janus took a few seconds to properly taking in their appearance, most mornings he was half asleep when Anxiety came in. His skin was a very pale blue - nearly white, like ice. His eyes were almost black with flecks of silver and his hair was tied back with a blue ribbon, but from what Janus could see it looked just like… a black void. There were no shadows, no highlights, though he could see a few strands on the edges, but the mass of hair itself seemed to move and combine to make an empty void that hurt Janus’ head to look at for too long. 

And he was tall, taller than Janus by far, even though Janus was fairly tall by mortal standards. 

Distracted, Janus didn’t notice his hand slipping on the dough, as he went to pass it over. He yelped when he noticed, and it seemed to fall to the floor in slow motion as Janus reached to grab it, only just missing it by a hair. His eyes widened as he stared at the pile of smushed dough on the floor, eyes widening in panic. What would happen now- surely Anxiety would be mad that he dropped it? And he’d made a mess - there were always punishments for making messes, he stepped back, an apology already forming in his throat though he found it was unable to get much further. 

Anxiety’s face seemed to pinch with what looked almost like pain, before stepping over the ruined dough to get closer to Janus, crouching a little so that they were eye-level, “Deceit, hon, I need you to breathe, okay?”

Breathe? He was breathing, breathing was a totally normal thing to be doing! Regardless he tried to pull in a breath, because refusing a direct order would get him in far worse trouble, and found that… oh- he actually hadn’t been breathing. 

“That’s it,” Anxiety said, voice almost… soft, “In and out, you can copy me if you need to.”

Janus tried to nod, taking breaths and trying to match with Anxiety’s rythem- which Janus noticed had been slightly exaggerated. 

“May I touch you?” Anxiety asked once Janus’ breaths started to even out a little more. The request felt odd, no-one had ever asked before touching him before, “I want to help you, when Prince gets like this he likes being held,”

…Held? Janus thought, he didn’t really know if that would help, but if Anxiety thought it would help - he nodded slowly. 

Slowly, Anxiety stepped forward, reaching out and pulling him into a loose embrace. At first Janus panicked, just a little, at the idea of being trapped, before Anxiety gently squeezed his shoulders and he realised suddenly that this was… safe. Anxiety wasn’t trying to trap or hurt him, this was meant to just be… nice. 

Standing there limp against Anxiety’s chest felt awkward, just a little, so he turned slightly and tried to mirror the same pose - wrapping his own arms around Anxiety in return. 

“Better?” Anxiety asked eventually, letting him go just slightly but still keeping him close enough to pull back in. Janus really felt like something had clicked in his head during that experience, because somehow… he wasn’t scared at all anymore. 

“I… think so,” Janus said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Anxiety said with a sigh, stepping back properly, “There will just be half as many rolls, it isn’t the end of the world, would you like to stay and help finish them off?”

Janus took a deep breath and shook his head. He’d quite like to go back to his room, actually, and he didn’t want to mess up any more of Anxiety’s food. He watched Anxiety carefully, as he did so, but he made no move to reprimand Janus for refusing as he had half-expected. 

“Okay,” Anxiety said, nodding, “I’ll bring you one when they’re done, oh, and Deceit?”

“Yes?” Janus asked, looking back up, he had almost gone to walk away, not realising the conversation wasn’t over.

“I promise never to intentionally cause you harm of any kid,” Anxiety said, “And I promise you will always be protected in my presence and our house.”

Oh, Janus thought as a similar wave of magic washed over him to when Prince made an almost identical promise, though Anxiety’s magic was a refreshing cold, like the first snowflakes on skin. 

“I- appreciate that,” Janus said eventually when he had recovered. Anxiety just nodded with a knowing smile before going back to his baking. Leaving Janus to stare in surprise for a long moment before turning and leaving the kitchen. 

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General tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[mediaevalmusereads]

Sitting Pretty: the View from My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body. By Rebekah Taussig. Harper Collins, 2020.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: memoir

Series: N/A

Summary: A memoir-in-essays from disability advocate and creator of the Instagram account @sitting_pretty Rebekah Taussig, processing a lifetime of memories to paint a beautiful, nuanced portrait of a body that looks and moves differently than most.

Growing up as a paralyzed girl during the 90s and early 2000s, Rebekah Taussig only saw disability depicted as something monstrous (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), inspirational (Helen Keller), or angelic (Forrest Gump). None of this felt right; and as she got older, she longed for more stories that allowed disability to be complex and ordinary, uncomfortable and fine, painful and fulfilling.

Writing about the rhythms and textures of what it means to live in a body that doesn’t fit, Rebekah reflects on everything from the complications of kindness and charity, living both independently and dependently, experiencing intimacy, and how the pervasiveness of ableism in our everyday media directly translates to everyday life.

Disability affects all of us, directly or indirectly, at one point or another. By exploring this truth in poignant and lyrical essays, Taussig illustrates the need for more stories and more voices to understand the diversity of humanity. Sitting Pretty challenges us as a society to be patient and vigilant, practical and imaginative, kind and relentless, as we set to work to write an entirely different story.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: ableism

While I have some grasp on the basics of disability advocacy, I thought it would be beneficial to learn more during disability pride month. This book was available at the library, so I figured it would be a good place to start.

Taussig's memoir is a very good introduction to the basics of understanding broad disability studies concepts while also narrating vulnerable moments of the author's life. I really liked how the focus wasn't so much on Taussig's body (though it was a huge part of the story), but on how society is organized around ableism. We don't so much get scene after scene of Taussig struggling, but we do get very clear and evocative memories of Taussig watching films, dreaming of jobs, and navigating health insurance which are all designed to exclude disabled people. It's also a good critique of a number of related things such as American work culture, beauty and advertising, the concept of womanhood, etc. In that, this book is an excellent example about how to talk about disability and ableism without exclusively focusing on the body.

That's not to say the body is unimportant. Taussig has plenty of stories about managing pain, rolling down stairs or grassy hills, etc. But Taussig is also very careful to demonstrate that it's not the body that needs fixing - it's our imagination about how the world should work. Because after all, most (if not all) of us will become disabled at some point - that's just a consequence of having a body, and society benefits if we can care for everyone.

There are some limitations to this book, however, which Taussig (to her credit) points out. Taussig is disabled, but she is also cis, straight, middle class, and white, which means she has access to certain types of privilege and her stories will likely resonate with a specific audience. But I think I'd rather have an author be honest about their privilege and tell their own story (as opposed to trying to represent all disabled people) than try to have them position themselves on an intersectional identity that isn't theirs.

There's also a lot of humor in here that will read ad Millenial, but fortunately, it's not overwhelming. Toussig is very sincere, and even if the humor isn't to your taste, it doesn't take over the book.

TL;DR: Sitting Pretty is a brilliant memoir and introduction to the concepts behind disabled studies, placing focus on how society is structured around ableism while also advocating for change that will benefit all.

[thegothgainer]

I don't get the gaming industry. They're constantly trying to use the Games as a Service model to keep people playing it. They use FoMo to try to keep players engaged and bump up those hours played. But I feel like not one of these companies looks at one of the longest-running online multiplayer games that I can think of:

Team Fortress 2

Oh yeah, the bots are a problem. But that's because the game has been neglected to hell. The thing is, real, actual people still play it. And it's because of many factors that other major players in the gaming industry just fucking ignore for some reason.

Community-ran servers allow the game to survive long after Valve decides to shut down official servers. It provides people with personal experiences and will preserve the game for generations after the studio is done with it.

Community content provides constant new experiences. New maps, especially feel fun, and the parent company wouldn't even need to DO anything to make it work. And the modding tools are just available for anyone to develop maps for, leading to a lot more talent being seen and more for players to explore when they get bored. And, you know, less work on the developers that can go towards fixing bugs.

No FoMo = No Burnout. Seriously, I feel like studios feel like players should always be online and in their game, and when players do that, they burn out. Sometimes, this results in them just abandoning the game completely. Your games-as-a-service product has to compete with a hundred others. Players don't have the time to try them all out. And when they burn themselves out on one, they can and will migrate to another. Allow players to savor your game. Take it in a little at a time. Let it become their weekend wind-down routine with friends.

TF2 is not without its flaws. But I think most of those flaws boil down to "Valve doesn't really rely on TF2 income anymore". But I haven't seen any other company try to adopt the model, as if they're too afraid it won't make money. It will. Even if it's just for the cosmetics or official content such as maps. There is a profitable model, there, gaming companies. Stop with this subscription fomo nonsense and use your goddamn brains. TF2 has been played for over 15 years now. Overwatch was played for like, 6, at most, and then the company killed it for a more "profitable" model that immediately got backlash. from the players who had been loyal to the game for half a decade.

I'm so tired of the subscriptions, the fomo, the battle passes... Just give me a game that I can keep coming back to because I like to play it, not because I feel obligated to.