Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Prompt 254
So. Danny might have accidentally become a bit of a cryptid. He didn’t mean to, but he’d become a bit nocturnal- like many an Amity Parker- and it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t be bothered to make sound when he was tired. Or pretend to breathe or, okay, he could see why he kept freaking people out at the grocery store he kept going to.
But it wasn’t his fault! He has to get food too! And really is it anyone else’s business? Seriously he thought that people wouldn’t be so surprised with how much magic is everywhere. Like you’d think they’d never seen someone who wasn’t fully human before or something.
Oh great, there’s a journalist at the grocery store now- he’s going to ignore that and finish his shopping and then continue his online work. Ooh, and eat icecream. He deserves it for potentially putting up with this.
Oh, it’s a little baby reporter, first couple of article thing. Adorable.
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I've been thinking about QiJiu and how they could be post-reconciliation and I'm like. I love most flavors of these tragic idiots, but I like them as either romantic or full on disaster siblings the most, probably.
Because them becoming close platonic friends feels like sort of... an extension? Of the state they are in canonically, where they are devoted to each other, but in a lot of ways have grown apart. They just fix up the holes in it - and I don't think that works all that well for them on the long run, because it would be all too easy to be reminded of the bad times. I think for them to be happy and stable long term, they need a shift in their dynamic either to something new (romantic relationship, with the courting period acting as a sort of soft reset) or back to the (codependent, but not necessarily in a bad way) sibling-relationship they had before.
Like. Honest to god I want a story where the two of them make up and Liu Qingge is the first one to look at them and go:
"What the fuck?! WHAT THE FUCK?! So this was just a sibling tantrum?? Like the time Mingyan refused to talk to me for three weeks because I got monster guts on her new dress, except you idiots dragged it out for thirty years?! I'm ashamed to be your shidi! Shame on you!"
"It was a bit more serious than-"
"Zhangmen-shixiong, what could you have possibly done that's worse than monster guts?"
Just Liu Qingge shaking Yue Qingyuan until dumbass failbrother explains what happened - perfect grounds for Liu-Jiu reconciliation too, because in LQG's mind 'making your little brother think you willingly abandoned him to slavery' is a perfectly valid reason to become the angriest, bitchiest bitch to ever peak lord. It doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense, his big brother instincts tell him that if he did something like that to Liu Mingyan then blood would flow. He doesn't know what a Joker even is, but in his mind that would be Mingyan's Joker moment for sure.
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Halloween prompts year 2 day 30
Danny became aware suddenly, the memory of his mothers parting shot as he fled fresh in his mind. He panicked, thrashing around in what felt like a thick liquid when his hand hit what felt like a wall of glass.
A tube? Was Danny floating in a freaking vat somewhere? He didn't remember anything after being shot down by his mom but he knew if he was in a lab somewhere he needed to escape!
In moments he was on the ground surrounded by wierd fluid and shattered glass. He ripped the oxygen mask off his face and threw it away from him as a violent shiver wracked his body.
Looking up he was surprised. He was expecting the bright shiney metal of his parents lab, or the white of the GIW lab, heck, even the wierd purple thing Vlad sometimes had going on would have made sense. As much as he would have hated to have been saved by the fruitloop, it would have been a familiar fight.
The devil you know and all that.
But no, this lab was all dull blacks, dark grays and inky shadows. The tubes around him bathing the atmosphere in a soft green glow that barely illuminated anything.
Great. Wonderful. Just what he needed. More people making more problems for him.
Danny picked himself up off the ground, shuttering again and was surprised to realize he didn't have any clothes on.
Danny decided that whoever had kidnapped him was going to get acquainted the Anti-creep stick. Luckly there was a closet nearby with what looked like a superhero costume in it. Okay. Hes dealt with weirder situations.
He put most of the suit on, leaving behind the cape, mask and chest straps. Danny had to admit he liked the red and black look. The gold was a nice touch...too...
Oh no. Where these supervillian clothes?! Red and black are totally Saturday morning cartoon villian colors! His mind started whirling, somthing that it doesn't usually do as he made his way over to the darkened computer almost by instinct.
Then he looked up.
There wasn't a lot of light in this place, but there was enough to see his reflection in the blackness of the computer monitor. One problem.
That wasn't his face.
He was as this strangers face twisted into confusion and horror. Was he overshadowing somebody? No. No...he was...Tim Drake? He watched as his reflection furrowed his brows.
No. He was Danny Fenton, son of Jack and Maddie Fenton. Local mad scientists.
But...he was Tim Drake, son of Jack and Janet Drake. Archeologists.
A distressed sound left his throat as he slid to the floor, two entire lifetimes flashing before his eyes as he tried to figure out what was real. He tried using his powers but nothing happened. That should have answered everything, right?
But that wouldn't explain how he had shattered the entirety of the thick glass of his tube prison. The glass had been completely shattered and landed in a circle around the tubes base in a way no punch could have done, no matter how powerful. Does he have powers that are simply unavailable right now or is there another explanation?
Either way he should probably wear a mask so people don't ask why Tim Drake is dressed as Red Robin, huh?
Oh god. Red Robin.
He woke up in a cloning pod in one of Red Robins secret labs! He remembered Jack, Maddie, other Jack, and Janet's treatment of him. He recalled each and every dismissive comment, every empty promise. Every time the bleachers were empty at his vollyball games. Every time he was left home alone for an "important" dig. Every time his parents ran off because a ghost might be nearby. Every time Tim would throw everything to the wayside to focus on a case. Every time Tim would throw away his own health and well being for a goal. Every time...
Danny straightened up and pulled himself off the floor before he started typing away at the computer and planning his next moves.
Regardless of what was happening, if he was Danny overshadowing a clone or if his life as Fenton was just a dream from a pod, he knew one thing for sure.
He did not need another neglectful parent.
Aka Danny runs around Gotham avoiding the bats, the press, the rogues, the petty criminals, the mob, and the police. He fails of course and manages to somehow make enemies out of everyone all while having a massive identity crisis and searching for a new home far far away from here before Tim Drake figures out who he really is...
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Sweet grape be upon u🫵
The now and then:
Daniel undersuit allows Lex and his people to see his vitals 24/7 which is why he uses it most of the time, be it under his clothes or just the suit while hanging around in his own bedroom(is comfortable!!). It also has the bonus of making feel safe
His PR team is going for a bright, approachable and young vibe so they let him have long hair(because "is relatable and against the usual gender norms, which will win over the younger population"). Is also why his costume is look-at-me-green(which is a good color to hide his blood)
His handlers in the auction wanted him to look older, sharp and neat(ugh, which is why he becomes hostile/dry towards people like the Bats or teen heroes who think nothing can be too bad
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Throughout the years, Danny and Ra's get into fights. Unfortunately for Ra's, Danny's a biter. Unfortunately for Danny, biting immortals are never a good idea. Especially when your own DNA is beyond messed up
Imagine the look on Ra's face when they guy he likes fighting shows up with a baby in hand and says, "congratulations, you're a father"
Repeat it two more times because Danny just doesn't learn
Ohohoho, now this is quite fun. And this could be completely new children, or, this could be the three Al Ghul children. Which if it is? Is hilarious. And hey, Dusan even has Danny's white hair and green eyes!
But seriously I love this. Logically, Danny should learn to not bite, in fact? He knows how to fight, and can do so without biting. He's just also a petty little shit who will go feral when fighting this one asshole [insert relationship here].
Even more hilarious if Danny shows up throughout time too. And it's not like they exactly explain to anyone on the outside of their [insert relationship here], which definitely leads to so many misunderstandings and rumors.
Love the idea if this is even a semi-normal ghost thing. Just, usually the mixing of ecto is done on purpose, and not usually having to be worried about happening via blood. But Danny? Is a halfa, meaning that he is half human.
And if he bit anyone else, it would probably have no effect, except for the fact that the human mouth carries quite a bit of bacteria and en ecto-contaminated one more so. So for anyone else, biting is an actual good option, but Ras? Also ecto-contaminated via Lazarus Pit.
Which is a different type of ectoplasm, like comparing saltwater to freshwater, but is still ectoplasm. If anyone else bit anyone else, it wouldn't happen. But no, Danny just has to have the habit of biting his immortal sparring asshole of a rival-buddy.
And said buddy better be fine with co-parenting otherwise he's taking child support.
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