#sometimes people with mental illness joke about it. crazy i know

[transcarcinization]

i kind of dislike this post because i know the less memeable symptoms of adhd tend to be responded to poorly by people without adhd but i have adhd* and yeah the stuff i’m gonna mention in public about it is going to lean way more towards the ‘ooh shiny object’ side of the spectrum. this is how people talk about their mental illness around strangers sometimes. someone making their adhd seem lighthearted and fun does not mean they do not have adhd, sometimes it just means they don’t know you and don’t want to get into the worst bits

*professionally dx’ed, with several years of therapy and medication about it, although i don’t think you need that to know you have adhd

[frostbite-the-bat]

i hgoupe I'm The roller guy to yall

[micahulrichdraws]

I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.

Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.

You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:

Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.

So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.

Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:

PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.

[dsm--v]

ok this post probably won’t make sense to a lot of you but.

pinterest culture…?

i’m not talking about the, like, recipes side of pinterest, or the aesthetic photos side of pinterest. i’m talking about the pretty specific subsection of like, tumblr screenshots and badly edited facebook memes, and mentally ill gay teenagers. i myself, am on this side of pinterest, i’ll admit.

there’s some, like, niche pinterest micro celebrities, for example, pickle man, erm what the frick, johnny the mommy, etc etc. whenever they’re seen in a comment section, there’s at least one person saying “omg you’re everywhere!1!!11”

another example, pinterest commenters are special. there’s like…inside jokes, just like on tumblr, but..idk

here’s an example:

(some kind of weird/oddly horny post)

person a: let’s remember our digital footprint guys !

(replying) person b: foot 🤤

(replying to b) person c: i have feelings for you

—

you can probably find that exact thread if you just look through the comments a bit. now, this type of thing is fine, of course, we all love inside jokes.

but, starting off as a pinterest kid, that became like, ingrained in my brain, so whenever im on tumblr my immediate reaction is to say shit like, “i want you” “i have a crush on you” instead of just “what”.

another thing, pinterest fucking sucks. and everyone on there (the gay side of pinterest, i mean) knows it. the ui sucks, especially on the browser version, the dms hardly work, and pins just disappear sometimes. lots of brands (i guess?) will take like ‘memes’ and upload it to pinterest, to get people to click, and take them to some shitty article. this leads to, fuckin idk, a picture of some tumblr post with the ifunny logo, and the title of the pin is like Top Ten Ways Wives Aren’t Satisfying Their Husbands.

pinterest hate culture, is also very interesting. for example, if you mention, say, ed sheeran, or look for ed sheeran pins, it’s so. much. hate. and then there’s troll/bait accounts, that exclusively make posts going against the grain so they’ll get attention. because there’s another thing, pinterest users fucking suck at ignoring bait. the boyfriends comic (? i think it’s called that) has so much hate on there. i’ve never even read it but i know so much from people talking about how shit it is. those pinterest kids are crazy, they talk to the obvious bait accs and tell them to “sayori challenge” (video game character that took her own life). i could go into the mogai/xenogender discourse but that’s a whole other post.

so. pinterest. it’s crazy.

why’d i write all this but i can’t write one fucking science paper oh my god.

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of That One Moment from Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush

Technically, this post is a part 4 of my liveblog, but still...

Today we will be talking about the interaction that I am most mentally ill about in the entirety of Wakfu.

Before I go completely off the rails: I think it's cute that despite everything, Keke still cares a lot about Ecaflip and Ecaflipus, and Atcham still cares about killing people for wronging him.

Things have changed after six centuries, but they're still just themselves. Anyway.

There is so much happening here. SO much. Let me break it down point by point:

The most obvious one: by addressing them as kids, he pulls his "I am roleplaying as your father for these strangers who don't know anything about our weird familial situation, and you will obey me" card. This is important because:

Kerubim and Atcham know how much Joris cares about the Brotherhood of Tofu and their opinions of him, to the point of going a little bit crazy at the thought of offending Yugo and Adamai.

So, even if him pulling the "I'm your dad" card is a bit egocentric, they can't say anything about that openly — because Joris would be so, so sad if everyone in this room knew he lives with his dad for 600 years now. He'd be so mad too, because "papychaaa, chaaaoncle stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

We KNOW Kerubim cares about not embarrassing Joris — because in the Dofus MMO he won't shut the hell up about his 20-30 dead loved ones from 200 years ago, says a Singular Thing about Atcham, and absolutely nothing about his very much alive son/fake dad, at best managing a little "we all want someone small in our lives..."

In my opinion, while some families are built on mutual roasting, the Crepin-Jurgen household houses three people with very fragile senses of self-esteem, so anything resembling roasting is usually light, exclusive to when they're all alone, and never about things that they actually hate about themselves ("short, weird, ugly, hypocrite, weak, overthinker"; "ugly" (some bald jokes allowed, but it depends on the mood); and "narcissist who kept his son in a hazardous environment for the first 7 years of his life and gave him 30 mental illnesses").

Besides the fact that Keke and Atch care about Joris making friends, — for the three of them (but especially Joris and Atcham), feeling belittled is the easiest way to ruin a relationship irreparably. If you insult them, it's just over. And I don't mean it in a funny-haha cutesy way. Sometimes, people actually dislike when they are insulted repeatedly about something they legitimately hate about themselves, and, y'know, hate everyone who hurts them this way? And you will not believe it, but people who actually care about them know and respect that. Because they love them.

So yeah, the three of them are all creatures of pride, and they respect that about each other, — which is why would never put each other in a position where they might get laughed at. (like suddenly revealing the Dad Roleplay and "600 years of living with his dad" sort of interpersonal lore)

However, being creatures of pride, I don't think Kerubim and Atcham are happy about Joris doing this. Especially because of the next point: Joris uses his position as their roleplay-dad and Asocial Son/Nephew Who Needs To Impress His Friends to essentially force them to let him go into a battle alone. Essentially, this line is translated as "you have glass bones and paper skin. you can't follow me because I said so, and you can't protest without looking weird." into Normal Human Tongue.

Joris does this for a very simple reason: they are weak (though so is he), and he's scared — he loves them! It's normal that he doesn't want to see them be hurt! Even if they have multiple lives, but they're not infinite lives, and it doesn't make every time they die NOT scary and traumatizing! He wants Kerubim and Atcham to go and rest, and he's also excited that they're finally meeting his friends.

However, unlike them, he only has one life — and they hate to see him hurt just as much, if not more, considering how much more danger he's always in:

They would really rather not leave their p'tit Jojo Joris alone with things they know are dangerous, — like Ush, — while Joris is weakened. No matter how much he wants to fight Ush one-on-one.

So, they refuse and even joke about him in the most subtle and funny way: using his own little game to make fun of him, and completely refuse his offer of leaving to rest in Sadida Kingdom, — coupled with an overexaggerated little shrug, and rubbing their statuses as so-called "sons" and "father" in his face.

These three come up with very elaborate rituals to communicate things that take normal people like ten seconds.

[machinegunbun]

rereading benanigans and just...

You and Pete are friends with benefits. You'd decided that's all you'd be the first time you had sex, when he told you it would probably be best if it didn't go any further because he's mentally ill and he doesn't want to make his problems your problems. He knows he can be a unreliable sometimes, because sometimes to get better you have to be selfish, and being selfish didn't feel like a good trait for a boyfriend to have (kind of like TKOSI).

"That sounds lonely." you told him

The two of you had spent almost every day together since, just friends... and other stuff. You were both perfectly comfortable with the situation as you found yourself being non-committal at times, too. It seemed like the easiest way for no one to get hurt.

And one day you're hanging out, his friends are over, and its all laughs. Everyone is having a good time, but you're distracted. You've just got off a long day of work where all you could think about was Pete. Pete touching you, teasing you, talking in your ear, helping you relax.

But, of course, his friends were over. They always seemed to be. It wasn't necessarily that Pete wasn't paying any attention to you, because he definitely wasn't ignoring you, he just wasn't paying you the attention you wanted.

He sat on the couch, one leg bent up on the cushion next to him and the other flat on the ground as his torso faced down the length of the couch, laughing at a dick joke, his arm laid on the back of the couch, his hand absentmindedly rubbing the soft material. It was all completely inconspicuous, but after the day you had it was driving you all the more crazy.

You try not to stare at the sweatpants adorning his legs, or think about how good it would feel to wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his sweatshirt while he fucked you nice and slow, your hips lifting to meet his.

Pete's eyes drift from his friend over to you as he laughed, his hand coming up to block part of his smile. His eyes meet yours and when he realizes you're staring his gaze drops to floor, a soft blush covering his features.

"You want something to drink?" He asks, reaching down to grab his own cup before standing, a slew of uninvited drink orders following. You weren't sure if it was a playful dig at you being 'thirsty' (did people still say that?) but, it didn't matter much anyway, because you knew you would follow him to the kitchen for much more than a drink.

"I would've gotten you something, too." He turns his head as he walks, hearing your soft footsteps close behind.

"I know, I just miss you." you respond, turning into the kitchen, which offered little cover, the island bar and cabinets that hung directly above the only thing separating you from the former.

You stand behind him as he prepares everyone's drinks, your arms wrapped around and your head peaking out under his arm to watch as he worked. The island barely rose to Pete's naval, and any of the boys would've been able to see your arms clearly if they chose to look back, so you tried your best to slyly run your hand down his torso until your pinky met his waistband. It took a bit of wiggling, but your hand slid in, preparing to wrap around what you'd been waiting for all day when Pete grabbed you by the wrist, pulling your hand away.

Your gaze rose to his, a small pout on your face as he shifted away, hands filled with an array of drinks.

You wandered around the kitchen, looking for a snack to ease your newfound oral fixation, when your eyes fell on Pete in the other room. He was sat in your former chair, with a perfect view of his friends on the couch, and also the kitchen. Turning, you opened the freezer door, bending down to check if you had more of those ice pops you loved so much. Really, Pete didn't care for them, but he knew you did and so they were on the shopping list every time. It was one of the many sweet things about Pete, and you couldn't think of a better way to thank him than teasing him in front of all of his friends.

Tossing the sticky plastic wrapping into the trash, you leaned forward on the island in front of you, trying to get back into the conversation. Your lips wrapped around the cold tip, an innocent look on your face, trying your hardest look like you were paying attention to the story being told from the couch. You could see from the corner of your eye when Pete's attention fell on you, glancing quickly from where his friend was sat and up to you, before going back again.

Knowing you had his attention, you let the icepop slide further into your mouth and slowly back out again, licking your lips and holding it infront of your face, your gaze never meeting his, instead taking a faux interest in the sweet treat. You pretended to notice it begin to drip, letting your tongue out to lick at the base and back up before sucking it into your mouth once again.

Pete was well aware of what you were doing, and was almost embarrassed at how well it was working. Casually as he could, he slid a pillow that was resting on his lower back into his lap, a small insurance.

I have to go cook dinner booooo responsibilities

taglist

@kidtheekid @cclynn88 @lonerlee @friedwangsss @rumoured-whispers @nichmeddar @triplexdoublex @myfatbottomedgirls @bakedcolson @chokemeshaw @olafsidehoe @bieberhoodforever @gg @classyunknownlover @jennajenna11world @Close-your-eyes-and-d13

[mariii1]

✨️Your Future Crush/Love Interest & Squish✨️

Yes, all you aro/aces can join in today 😌

1-2

3-4-5

Pac Song Theme:

OMG I'm did a pac during finalss week?! Yes, this is how I deal with stress, I'm also going to be doing another one inspired by a tarot reader on here for as an end of year celebration get readyyy🤗

‼️CW: topics surrounding violence, SA, abuse/trauma came up just as a heads up‼️

🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉

1. Might really like money. They think about their career a lot, and not just in a very workaholic mindset but this is someone that likes capitalism. They might like to one up people or they think they're better than others for pursuing money even if they don't have a lot. A very scummy feeling from this person, would be the type to take you to a michellen star restaurant and then be really angry if you didn't sleep with them afterwards. (s!A vibes for some) 🤢🤮 I feel like they see themselves in this very righteous manner but they're really not okay in the head and I mean that respctfully. They may struggle with chronic mental illnesses but their narcissist habits make it impossible for them to heal themselves. Uhhhhh I don't wish you good luck with this person and I hope you manifest another pile HAHAHA. this person could love to brag about flying/trips theyve been on. It's giving wealthy americans that think just because they traveled overseas they know the country better than the locals and tell racist jokes cuz they think they can 🤦🏾‍♀️

Squish: Literally the mild version of the romance. 😭😭 Again, this person likes money but isn't that obsessed. Again they might take you on trips but this is a really nice person even if they come across as ignorant. They could've been born with a golden spoon in they mouth, its giving stupid but v sweet. I think you'll like this person a lot, although I personally cant fck with this type, I'm strongly feeling your positive emotions. I think they can be a bit petty and immature tho although that's heavily connected to whatever privilege they have, even if its not necessarily financial.

🐶🐶🐶

2. I started sneezing like crazy the moment I started you're reading, for some this a future spouse or a long term commitment for you, whatever that means to you. AGAINnn with the money like are we all in college now wtf, anyway. This person feels stunted financially or just in general with something they value. Mostly career though for you all, maybe they keep getting rejected from jobs they want or they couldn't get a full-time job out of college and had to do more internships etc. It's just like they feel behind career wise or maybe even life wise. You could be ahead of them but I'm getting the two of you struggle together sometimes. This future partner/crush is very close to you rn and some of you know them already and this is your current crush. I think you guys will start off as good friends right away even if you're not (already) best friends. This could be a future squish too for some of you.

Squish: this is your future crush for everyone that's not aro. Even if you are, there's lots of physical intimacy even if its platonic. Lots of hugs and cuddling each other when you're sad. Both of you could be fems/women. They're very precious and I think that's what pulls you in. They have a soft approachable energy and they're funny. I think they can be rlly awkward and its v funny to you 🤭. They could also struggle with social anxiety and you might tease them about it sometimes. Both of you could be in college and stressed about student loans or money again. You could also just both have the same financial situation in terms of your household. Like literally the same family situation too.

🦝🦝🦝

3. This could be a future partner. You could've liked this person in the past, but they hurt you in some way or were mean? They could've been a loner even if they were ok with other people. You could be manifesting this person even if you don't know it. If you don't already know this person, they could be hurtful in some way, even when you two first meet. I keep getting the Empress for these piles, but I think its the first time in all my readings that I've had to interpret it in a negative way, interesting. This could be someone you have cycles with. Yeah they can just be rude unprovoked and I think that will be your first impression of them even if they're attitude isn't directed towards you. I don't think you know why you like this person and I think it's something you want/should figure out. Please be aware this can show up in multiple ways, it doesn't mean theyll call you a slut or curse at you, but it's much more passive aggressive and just rude. Like I don't think this person takes people seriously especially when it comes to others emotions and they like to play the victim when you try to assert boundaries.

Squish: You're going to really like this personnnn. They might heal some trauma you've had in the pass and they might really be againts your future crush. You're going to be friends with this person, for wlmost all of you close friends maybe besties. I think you might struggle alot of abandonment issues and feeling alone or isolated and I think they'll really help with that. This is someone who doesn't settle and is always moving onto the next big thing, even if it's about a partner. Yeah they might introduce you to other people, but you only really like this person. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you developed a crush on them after your future crush 🤭🙈 They also could've been through a lot and may have had the same tastes in people as you do in they past, so you might see them get very like fervent(?), like passionate about trying to educate you about the people you date/hang around even when you never asked for their opinion. I think they feel like you could do better for yourself but you can't see that. LOL you might find this really annoying and although it is, they have a point most of the time. When I say taste in people, this could apply to any relationship; they look at who you attract in terms of friends, or even family and the workplace for some you, and feel like they need to protect you.

🐱🐱🐱

4. So apparently this is my pile, so for y'all who chose another pile and feel like you're getting flamed, don't worry I probably am too 😭. This person again could be a loner or feel lonely. I feel there's something they went through that deeply impacted them negatively but they just don't deal with those emotions and try not to think about. This person may not tell you what it is like ever, or they tell you and play down the situation a lot esp cuz they might feel like it could make other people worry about them. This is someone who's been through a lot, like some really tough stuff for some you; they could've been an addict or had parents/guardians who were, they could have been bullied a lot and like aggressively, they could've been assaulted at school. They just really could of been through physical hell, literally, maybe there's a poimt where they were chronically in pain. This person has definitely visited a hospital more than a few times or its a miracle they're still alive and walking. You could've met this person veryyy briefly in your childhood, idk why but this is giving a manhwa storyline 💀💀 I'm specifically think of Park Hanhoo's Manager. Anywayyy, they came out on top. They really did, I feel they may compare themselves to average human being but they shouldn't bc their on a whole different level. And I feel what makes your pussy/bussyy pop is their strength. Cuz they handle things with so much gracee I tell you. They may feel behind but I think you view them very differently and I think for who they are as a person when you meet them, you're gonna give them their due respect, even if they don't have the best personality in the world. It's up to you whether or not you really want to pursue this person because I'm getting they could also become a mentor or just a friend. This could be someone at your workplace, whether you swutch jobs or they do.

Squish: Similar vibes, but more like they may have been betrayed by friends in the past or had shitty friends. They could be kind of a loner as a result and like to keep their distance but some of you will meet them at a time when their more emotionally available. This is someone that doesn't like to stay in one place, but I feel like they feel stagnant internally. They could be someone who does a lot of kind actions and could be very helpful although they're not necessarily friendly. They're nice in a very genuine and non-cliche way. If you made a mistake at work they'll give it to you straight, but they'll tell you exactly how you can do better in a non-judgmental way and are always willing to help you. They will answer your questions and paradoxically almost, they have no patience for bullshit, but they do have patience for you and people who are just less experienced than them. They could literally be from the streets. Nvm I ain't getting flamed, I love this pile y'all 🥰

🦁🦁🦁

5. This is a go getter for sure, but they can honestly be very impulsive in general. I keep getting distracted while doing this reading, they may or may not have adhd. This is a definite future spouse/long term partner for a lot of yall. They're very whimsical but not stupid. I think this is someone who believes in science but still likes occult stuff just cuz they can. For the majority of you, this isn't a conservative right leaning hippie who believes in antisemitic conspiracy theories. Even if they like tarot, they don't take it seriously or they could really like astrology lore but don't take it seriously all the time. This is a smart person even if they may not seem like at a first glance. Idk what it is about them, but they look kinda stupid depending on what you think that looks like. Like they could look like a frat boy/mommas boy but it's only bc they don't kno how to dress and they're actually really nerdy and support human rights stuff, like they're pro choice, acab, whatever. However I feel like you won't know that much about them even after developing a crush. This may be someone that you get to know over a lengthy period of time.

Squish: Again this could be your future partner/crush i described above. This person will take you out a lot, like just to hang out they'll want to go to a new cafe or want to see a new place that's opening up. I'm getting they don't necessarily like traveling long distance or flying tho. Y'all could live in an area that has a lot of things to do, there's always something new. They aren't rich but they still know how to have fun without spending a lot of money. Its really giving teen afterschool fun vibes, you guys might hang out at a mutual friends place a lot together. And that may be how you first meet. Again this person isn't super open but they are still a bit friendly and I don't think they mind getting to know you particular. I have a feeling they don't care if they don't have friends at all, they seem to be very content by themselves and know how to have fun. They may be what I like to call a quiet extrovert.

[corvidjuice]

Was gonna make a joke post about being brave when people talk about how hard highschool was bc of friend drama and exams, but actually I have a lot of thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes it feels really isolating to have struggled with severe mental health issues as a teenager. Not that exams and interpersonal problems aren’t difficult, but people know how to respond to those issues, you’ll get empathy and relating and the conversation continues. Whereas, in my experience, mentioning mental health issues often causes a lot of discomfort, overplayed pity, or just honestly shitty comments.

Of course I don’t expect people to know what to say or be mental health experts, but it does suck to not be able to refer to an entire chunk of my life. It’s not just a small detail in a story that I can omit, it IS the story. So, of course I try not to participate in the conversation, but when prompted to join, answering that I’m uncomfortable talking about it doesn’t feel that great or genuine to be honest (and harshes the vibes anyway). I want to talk about it, I want to connect and be open. I don’t want to hide things from my friends.

I thought after seeing a lot of ground being made in normalising and understanding mental health it would be ok to explain to friends how bipolar affected most of my teenage life and therefore my stressors were different, but I was met with “oh you don’t seem bipolar, I have a bipolar coworker and she’s crazy” and “but you’re on medication now right? you’re normal now” and “wdym it sucked, mania sounds so fun” (No?!?!?! Pls I don’t want to keep explaining that mania can include paranoia and psychosis and is not partying disease) or just any random story about a time someone with bipolar fucked their life up??? Which like ok, but can I finish my story first lol????

Thankfully sometimes another person with mental illness is there and we get to have a really lovely conversation, so everyone who mentions their mental health in these conversations I love you and you are literally a beacon for me regularly. Also I now have some wonderful friends who I can relate and talk to, which is amazing.

But ANYWAY I’m not sure what the point of this post is, I guess I just wish medical history and personal history weren’t so closely tied, or I wish that more people accepted and understood that they are.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

guys I just was on TikTok for like, a couple hours for the last 3 days and oh my god tumblr is so much better.

mostly because I will say this again and always.

TikTok is tumblr 2.0

The most horrible takes, I actually hate that I used my main hate seethe ow io hate this.

someone save me, oh I hope I don’t get hate on my main.

not because I said anything bad but because TikTok people are a different BREED.

okay example!

Example 1: a video of 3 young teen girls with unblurred faces smashing the remains of a melted ice sculpture.

the comments were filled with hate for these kids like they had punched someone or something, most of them were like “if I saw that I would have beat those kids” and “evil! Can we dox them?”

dude, it was crazy.

Example 2: a video of a horse picture with the text “they ruined the cannibalism metaphor with their shitty poems”

Idk what the context is for that actually lol.

example 3: someone in a mental health matters tagged video saying that you can’t help people who are suffering from Self Harm because it’s on them to do that, also “people who send SH/ED’s pictures are bad people and attention seekers”

that made my jaw fucking drop, like while I’ll always advocate “please don’t send people fresh Self harm photos period” I’m not going to demonise someone that does, because that is beyond a cry for help that’s a scream.

and also everyone was demonising cluster B people, and people who are violent because of mental illness/people who scream and yell say things that hurt people because of mental illness are bad people aswell.

like.. oh my god, it’s different if it’s not purposeful malice and just mental illness shit. Like I know people who are exactly like that, and they are people I love and care for deeply. It’s not their fault they can’t control their emotions because they have can’t control emotions disorder. They regret it deeply and hate themselves for it and want to be better and loved.

that’s truly what most of mentally ill people want, myself included.

and again and again I see people who are like “these people are horrible and don’t deserve help”. Your feelings of being triggered and fucked up by seeing your friend’s self harm is AWFUL! It sucks! But if you love them, you should put yourself first and be kind.

(Literally just going “hey dude, I love you fuck tons but I can’t deal with seeing your self harm. It’s not because I hate you, it’s not because of anything like that. I’m just not as strong as you when it comes to seeing these things, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’m happy to be here and talk about why you feel this way and I’ll be here for you. But I just don’t have the skills to deal with the sight of injury, you are my friend I care about you (REAL NO JOKE)”)

sometimes the people you love will say things that hurt you because they are hurting incredibly badly and just want someone to see that and tell them

“it happens, sometimes (insert mental illness) happens. You’re not a bad person for it happening. so many people are like you and are suffering the same pain, and it happens. You will feel bad until you feel okay, healing takes time. And learning to live with (insert mental illness) is hard, no one ever said it’s easy. It’s hard and it takes a long time, but it gets better <3 because we aren’t perfect! no one is! we hurt and scream and push away those we love and it’s hard to fix that. Sometimes we don’t, but it happens. We will make mistakes and hurt others and ourselves, that’s life. And I’ll be here, because I believe in you even if you are hurting, even if you tell me he most vile shit, I’ll stay. It’s not okay you say that, but your (insert mental illness) it happens and until you feel better I won’t hold it against you. I’ll be hurt, but I won’t hold it against you. Your you, and I think you deserve to live and not hurt anymore. I’ll listen, I will listen.”

mental illness is not a monolith and is so hard and difficult to understand sometimes, we are social creatures and all we want is care and kindness.

YES I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU TOO NPD AND ASPD PEOPLE!

I will never know how to help someone, I will always just flounder until I figure something out. But trying is really all we can ever do.

I love you guys, we are all fucked up we are all so fucked up. And that’s okay, you will be okay.

one of these days it’ll stop, and you will stop feeling bad and feel okay. Some of us will have a hard, hard time figuring out how to do that.

but don’t give up, because I won’t. Even if you couldn’t fulfill your dreams I’ll hold them softly for you, if you suffer let’s suffer together.

if you die, I’ll remember you, if your scared we can be scared together.

It’s going to be okay, because people do care. People actually do care, and your not done yet, just hold on.

you will get there, just hold on. We will make it, we will all make it.

I am still hung up on the first one.

[jingyi-ma-boi]

Okay, I think it’s safe to say that Nie Mingjue is mostly seen as one of these two:

Either he’s a big-hearted straightforward himbo, with a short temper and a strong moral compass, that loves like he fights —passionately and with unwavering strength,

Or he’s an extremely privileged himbo with such rigid morals and anger issues that he becomes cop-adjacent since he’s unable to empathize with how his world-view doesn’t account for anyone less privileged than him.

I personally see him as being both. Because even though he was always seen as stern and serious, it is a fact that his cultivation pushed him to the limit faster than with any of his predecessors due to the strain that the war and Baxia put on him. We can’t know for sure how he would’ve behaved had he not cultivated to become the strongest fiercest warrior in Nie history. And so, his behavior is not that of a violent man unable to treat others with respect, but that of a person who heavily suffers from mental illness.

And I don’t mean just any kind of mental illness, but the kind that’s so ugly that makes you hate and hurt the ones you love as well as yourself. The kind that the moment it gets diagnosed, marks you as a dangerous crazy person because people assign those symptoms to moral failures and they go around saying that this killer or that abuser or that other crazy ex has it.

Let it be known that I’m choosing to headcanon NMJ like this because I too have several of those mental illnesses. I see the way he looses control and becomes extremely paranoid and violent during and after the war very similar to my own experiences with C-PTSD and the rest of my long list of diagnoses.

It doesn’t justify his behavior but it helps understanding his character. All this is to say that I might sometimes joke about him being a dumb cop who doesn’t understand privilege and heavily criticize his treatment of Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao, but I love his character all the same. Acknowledging all his faults while enjoying —and creating— depictions that see all this and try to give him a shot at a happier life feels to me like an act of self love more than any of the other characters due to the way I see myself reflected in him.

[imustbenuts]

@theotherseapancakes

i mentioned ill rb a post about majima's sexuality/gender identity in the context of 1980s-2010s japan but i never got to it bc i cant find the post ;;

but gist of it is, the majima everyone knows is... kind of putting on an act. everything about the zanny funny majima everyone mostly knows is an act he puts on mostly to mess with kiryu. this video kinda sums it up succinctly:

even his kansai dialect is... fake as shit. (the meta explanation is that his voice actor isnt familiar with kansai accent and the director was like 'its majima its ok just roll with it')

it's probly hard to hear but his dialect is multiple levels of wrong. another joke video here but that isnt how kansai dialect sentence structure works! also his crazy persona is really how he behaves, mostly.

dont wanna inflate this post but theres plenty of kansai dialect language videos on youtube to hear what a usual kansai dialect phrase sounds like

majima's sounds like he smooshed standard tokyo japanese with some random stuff he picked up from osaka, which tracks with his backstory...

^^ he speaks with standard jp here. this takes place technically before y0 (i think)

anyway. so. the 'mad dog' persona both in universe and out he has is mostly an act and his character growth from 0-8 is largely like this: sane -> goes through SHIT -> plot -> snaps -> loses his sworn brother and is likely very depressed -> messes with kiryu for some semblance of normalcy -> kiryu helps stabilizes his life both directly and indirectly, thereby stabilizing his mental state -> sane but wears the mask bc hes made a name for himself as the mad dog

so all of that is important bc in a manner of speaking, LGBTQ in the 1980s to 2010s is considered... an 'act'.

super short summary of why: confucius idea dictates that men must pass on their bloodline to offsprings bc its honorable for the family bloodline. confucius bleeds into bushido, morphs, which bleeds into the larger fabric of japanese culture.

MEANING, its totally ok to be gay and play so long as a male offspring is produced. LGBTQ then is seen as a juvenile thing that most people will grow out off eventually. (at least prior to TV era)

then TV era brought in western media, and back the the mid 1900s, LGBTQ became synonymous with being a western idea. lots of tropes of flamboyancy is closely linked to westerness in characters. so queer became a foreign idea. JP TV then perpetuated this with okama stereotypes and sometimes made a mockery out of them, which continued pretty much until 2000s.

some also see it as a evil western mental virus/illness too.

(negative okama stereotypes are portrayed as highly thirsty male hunters dressed in a less than flattering drag with facial hair. often used to elicit"EW DISGUSTING GET AWAY FROM ME" reactions from other characters.)

smoosh that with existing cross-dressing theater arts and the idea of some 'kiddy phase' and suddenly being LGBTQ is more or less equated to an act.

add in the fact that transitioning is a very difficult thing to do if one doesnt conform fully into a binary Male or Female gender identity, suddenly genderfluidity looks very campy in JP media context.

which. majima kinda is. left: y0 appearance, taking place 1989. right, y1 onward, starting 2005

leather and TIGHT leather has some associations with the BDSM scene, which intersects with the sleazy night life and sexually related things. (queerness is perceived to be mostly this bc demonization in a similar fashion to... everywhere basically)

and also, there was one time where majima was goromi:

the context for this: Majima Everywhere was a system that y1k had, where Majima would spawn absolutely anywhere and everywhere to fight kiryu. for fun. theres a lot of interesting character moments bc his act or mask slip off every now and then. this is one of those.

anyway, goromi is an interesting case of a more positive okama stereotype bc theres absolutely zero malice in the writing that i can tell. key thing: kiryu reacts bewildered but positively to this encounter

so all of this to say

yeah majima is really, really not straight.

[poolpvrty]

Favourite underrated character/headcanons about them??

had to take a minute to think about this because I'm honestly not sure... maybe peter? i don't have too many headcanons for him because i really enjoy his personality/character in canon and i don't want to mess with it too much, but i do have a few!

he grew up sheltered with only his mother for company, no sisters or brothers and no father figure. i like the idea that his mom has some sort of mental illness (severe and dibilitating contamination OCD, bipolar disorder with psychotic features, maybe munchausen by proxy) and this leads to their relationship morphing into something wildly unhealthy. peter is rarely let out of the house due to his mother's varying fears and he's forced to take on an almost care taker role with her, despite him only being a kid.

↑ this leads to his own issues being overlooked/never seen by anyone other than his mother. I've seen the hc that peter is a psychopath or a sociopath a few times, and i do think it's really intriguing. like i can totally get behind him being a sociopath and hiding it from his friends for years. but i like the idea of peter just being a selfish, unopinionated coward with no clinical reason for it way more. but i subscribe to both visions.

he has the biggest, most disgustingly obsessive crush on james. it developed very early on in their friendship, and it only gets worse as the years go by. he silently despises lily/anyone james gets romantically involved with because he's so unbelievably devoted to james it's actually a little insane. I'm talking genuine worship. james potter can do absolutely no wrong in peter's eyes, he is a saint among men and nobody can love him the way peter loves him. the first time peter ever has thoughts of harming others is when lily insults james publicly for the first time because how dare she say anything negative about the most perfect person alive

adding onto this: i hc that peter is bisexual but male leaning. however, I've seen him as demisexual/demiromantic before and i really like that, too! although, i don't think peter would actively try to find a label that aligns with his feelings. i don't even think it would be something he thinks about, he just is who he is and he's fine with that. i can picture remus one day mentioning/describing the term bisexual to the group and peter briefly thinks something like "oh yeah that's me i guess" before moving on completely but that's pretty much it.

he's pretty much average in most school subjects, but out of his friends he's the best at arithmancy and ancient runes. peter isn't nearly as academically or strategically intelligent as the other 3 boys but he isn't a complete idiot!! he did just fine in school, passed most of his exams, and was a solid part of the marauders joint mischief making (he was their friend for a reason guys, c'mon...) i also really like the hc that while, yes, sirius james and remus were better in classes than him, peter was talented at thinking on the fly. much more than they were. he's a huge procrastinator and pressure drives him to not only complete tasks, but to do them well. the other boys look to him in times of crises (eg. escaping filch, lying to teachers, etc.) because peters brain just works faster than theirs do when adrenaline is pumping.

he's a fantastic liar. i mean truly, it's absurd and a little scary. the boys used to treat it as some sort of joke because they often underestimated him, but peter is a very talented manipulator. if sirius is good at charming those around him, peter is good at straight up gaslighting you and making you doubt yourself/your memory. he's so meek and quiet and kind that you really wouldn't expect it, but that's exactly why it works so well for him. he's an observer, he gages peoples emotions with ease because he's always watching and listening, he knows how to act and what to say to make you feel crazy. and he does it for fun sometimes. i like thinking he's a pathological liar, too (sirius is the only one who picks up on this, and it's part of the reason why he asks him to be secret keeper instead → 1. he's less noticable as a person, 2. peter is literally so good at talking his way out of things he'd be fine regardless).

i have more thoughts on peter but these are probably my favorite things to think about! especially the bit with his mom. i rarely see anyone giving headcanons for his upbringing/home life and it kinda irks me... me personally, i picture young peter as this kinda morally repugnant ten year old staring longingly out his bedroom window at the neighborhood kids. because he desperately wants friends but he literally isn't allowed to leave the house... and also people sort of terrify him. meanwhile his mother has her face against their kitchen floor scrubbing at the tiles with a tooth brush and bleach. he's talking her down from a complete mental breakdown whenever she's convinced she somehow accidentally put a dead animal in their dinner and he's helping her clean their already basically sterile bathroom on christmas eve. the whole situation is so unhealthy and toxic and suffocating... but it's consequences are so fun to think about

[ink-asunder]

Progressives from big cities talk big shit about how accepting they are, but I feel like if you come to them with any identifier that isn't covered in corporate sensitivity training, they have no idea what to fucking do.

Like. I experience psychosis. I tried being OPEN with my friend about it and giving them resources (articles and screenshots of tumblr posts that i felt summed up my experience) for when I had episodes. But they act like they're on fucking eggshells around me. They sidestep and look PETRIFIED when they accidentally say the word "crazy" (when I personally could not give less of a shit. As long as you're not CALLING someone crazy, then it won't warp your perception of what clinical insanity even is, so I probably won't even notice you saying it). But then they freak out and go "okay we're leaving!" when a VISIBLY mentally ill man starts screaming at a trashcan in the parking lot.

Less important, but still an example of the same thing: I'm a horse alterhuman. I identify as a horse on some level (and that level varies based on my mental state, tbh). I tried coming to this friend with THAT and the best they could do was blink and go "oh. Okay." And then they never talked about it since. Even when I bring it up or try making jokes about it, they just COMPLETELY don't react or look uncomfortable.

If I came out as a lesbian, they'd be all "oh I love and support you and accept you, and whatever you identify as is valid," but the second I say "Hey, I have this condition that makes me sometimes think that people are trying to kill me, so if I act anxious or something, you know what's up," it's all "oh. Okay. I mean, you know what's best for you. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself."

Like bitch!! My mental illness is not gonna bite you!! You're perfectly sensitive and normal about queer people, about people of color, about people with palatable mainstream mental health issues. But the second I bring something to the table that hasn't already been dropped in their lap in a perfect-PC-package, they balk like a deer in the headlights.

[nian-7]

hiiiii!! can i request a platonic and romantic matchup for hypmic please?

zodiac - sagittarius

mbti - istp

hobbies:

- drawing (especially doodling, my books and copies are filled with mini drawings)

- collecting coins

- collecting cute stationary

likes:

- music (vocaloid and video game music)

- video games (especially gacha and rhythm games)

- fanfics

- doing makeup at random times of the day and for no reason

- rambling to my friends

-helping others

dislikes:

- spiders (i have arachnophobia)

- having a routine/plan for things

- people who force me to open up to them/tell them my secrets

- most foods, i’m quite picky

personality:

if i had to describe myself, i’d say that i’m quite unique. i’m like the basic introvert, quiet and reserved and try to make a good impression with new people, but with old ones or my friends, i’m crazy and unpredictable. my friends describe me as someone funny who always livens things up (but they also jokingly call me mentally ill at times when i’m acting goofier than usual). i haven’t actually met many people similar to me, and not everyone gets along with my humor so i don’t have many friends. i don’t like sticking to the rules most of the time, especially when they restrict my freedom. i ramble to my friends a lot and i’m similar to the therapist friend, as even when my friends text me even one line of them not doing okay i do whatever i can to make them feel better. i’m also quite expressive, if you stared at me for 5 minutes you would be able to tell exactly what i’m doing and how i’m feeling about it.

i think i wrote a lot sorry 💀

dw! i think it's a pretty normal amount but the more info the better! enjoy!

I match you with... (platonically)

Kuko Harai!

-Mr. Rule Breaker 1 here. Decided to match you with him platonically just because he'd fit better as your friend rather than partner. He'd have a lot of fun with you to put it simply.

-The fact that you don't like rules that'll restrict your freedom means he can drag you along with him when he decides to break those rules.

-Both of you are quite expressive in your own ways and that's partly what makes the friendship strong. The fact that you guys are able to know how the other is feeling usually pretty easily.

-Truly, Kuko doesn't care how you act and doesn't try to pry on things you don't want to talk about. He just simply accepts you as his friend and lets you come to him if you need him for something.

-He'd like your collections too, always pointing at a few of the newer ones to ask where you got them or what it's supposed to be.

-Even though he can be a bit rough around the edges, he's honest and has good intentions behind his words. It'd be a chaotic friendship that's for sure.

I match you with... (romantically)

Samatoki Aohitsugi!

-Mr. Rule Breaker 2 here. Reason he's romantic though is because he'd pry but learns to be considerate enough to know when to back off. He pries because he cares and wants to make sure you're okay.

-He likes that you're expressive because even he can have a hard time reading faces or emotions so being able to know how you feel is a good plus for him. Samatoki wants to know that you're comfortable with him rather than scared out of your mind that he'll do something when he really won't.

-He kinda just lets you do your thing when you're chaotic and doesn't really go along with it too much but sometimes he also wants to have fun and I think you'd be able to bring out that side of him.

-Probably would just give you a disappointed look when you make a dumb joke but he can't help but try to cover up his laugh when you do because well, somehow you make the jokes he doesn't understand a little bit funny.

[01298283]

Is she crazy?

My photo,me.

I went to meet my new psychologist today and on the 15th I'm going to meet my new psychiatrist,I'm undergoing treatment elsewhere now. If you don't know anything about me,search the ancient texts.

My new psychologist is nice and now I go to her office every week,I can talk freely with her about all the abuse I suffered and how much I hate Christianity,I was abused by several Christians. So I told her,they photograph themselves and post them in court cases to say that they are good people and use this religion as a hiding place and to try to deceive the judge. It's a long story,but they try to harm me in many ways and are narcissistic. But nowadays I'm better and I've recovered part of my health,my abusers are unhappy and live on appearances.

I can tell her how disgusting each one of them is and deserves to rot and expose in detail everything they've done,nowadays I can control my emotions better,but you know how mental illness is,sometimes it throws you to the bottom the well again.

I pray that all abusers on this planet die a painful death and be abused in hell,not just them but those who defend them as well.

I am so disgusted to know that my abuser has touched every part of my body without my permission,if it were possible I would change my skin,but we are working on this in psychotherapy and nowadays I have my boyfriend by my side who treats me like a princess and it helps me a lot.

They say I'm crazy, but crazy is actually every one of them who violated every part of my body and still believe they're going to heaven, I'm just a survivor and unfortunately I can't kill any of them,but I move on and I don't have afraid of them,they are a joke to me actually and a disgrace.

[crowlore]

ive joked about acting out and being less palatable here on occasion as a way to keep the rent down but sometimes that urge is so real cause ill see the way people post about like. psychotic people and i just know that if i stopped masking to any degree on my own personal blog a lot of people would instantly turn on me because psychotic symptoms are so undesirable. idk it’s just like. the campaign to make mental illness marketable is nothing new we’ve seen it with anxiety and depression and now autism and we’re even seeing the theft and memeification of psychotic experiences (see: “schizoposting” by non-schizoids and the use of “delulu”) and it makes me. soooooo. i don’t even know that angry is the right word. im angry a lot. this isn’t that.

like. will y’all be satisfied when you’ve ironed the wrinkles out of mental illness? separated the good and funny symptoms from the bad and inconvenient ones? when everyone whose existence makes you even a little uncomfortable is no longer allowed to claim their own conditions lest they bring a bad name to the nice and cooperative people? must be nice, being one of the good and ignorable sick people. not like us crazies.