#sorry for the out of orderness i was just. overwhelmed with emotion bc of this wheee!

[yumicreatesworld]

Heyyy! Could you make a Ni-ki angst? Like Ni-ki and reader were classmates in elementary school and Ni-ki bullied them or like treated them badly but in high school Ni-ki got a crush on her and know he feels bad bc reader act like nothing happened in the past.

I hope you understood what I meant and thank you if you write it!

Take care love<3

Forging Friendship: A Journey of Redemption - Nishimura Riki

Summary: Riki, once a bully, seeks to make amends with Y/N, whom he mistreated in elementary school. Through genuine efforts and newfound maturity, their bond strengthens as they navigate high school together, fostering trust and understanding.”

Pairing: bully!Ni-ki x student!reader

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3.4k

Genre: Contemporary, Young Adult Fiction

Warnings: bullying, themes of emotional turmoil

Thank you, hunni pumpkin, for my first ever request! I hope I was able to fulfill your request, feedback is greatly appreciated. (NB: I don’t have kindergarten, elementary or high school where I am from, nor grades, junior year, senior year, etc. Sorry if my information is incorrect,😭)

@loriszeretinikit

In the bustling halls of your elementary school, you always felt like an outsider. You preferred the company of books and your own imagination over the chaotic playground games. It wasn’t that you didn’t like people; it was just that the noise and drama of your peers often felt overwhelming. Unfortunately, this made you an easy target for Riki.

Riki was the kind of boy who thrived on attention. His antics and pranks made him popular among the other kids, but they often came at the expense of someone else. More often than not, that someone else was you. Whether it was hiding your books, making fun of your quiet nature, or tripping you in the hallways, Riki seemed to have made it his mission to make your life difficult.

One particularly bad day stood out in your memory. It was the day of your group project presentation in front of the whole class. You had spent weeks preparing, putting in extra effort to make sure everything was perfect. The topic was something you were passionate about, and you were excited to share your work.

As your group got ready to present, you felt a mix of nerves and excitement. However, just before it was your turn to speak, Riki, who was part of your group, smirked and pulled a small, hidden cord that caused the project display to collapse. The carefully arranged posters and models came crashing down, and the class erupted in laughter.

“Whoops, my bad,” Riki said with a shrug, not even bothering to hide his amusement.

Your face burned with embarrassment as you scrambled to pick up the pieces. The teacher tried to restore order, but the damage was done. Your carefully planned presentation was ruined, and the sense of pride you had felt was replaced by humiliation.

For the rest of the day, you avoided everyone’s gaze, the sting of Riki’s actions lingering long after the incident ended. It wasn’t just the pranks and public humiliation that hurt the most. It was the little things, too. The whispered comments as you walked by, the snickers behind your back, the feeling of always being watched and judged. It made you withdraw even further into yourself, seeking solace in the pages of your books where the characters were kinder than the children around you.

Your only escape was the library, a quiet sanctuary where you could lose yourself in stories far removed from your own reality. There, you found comfort in the silence, away from Riki’s taunts and the harsh world of the playground.

Despite everything, you never told anyone about the bullying. You didn’t want to be seen as weak, and a part of you hoped that if you ignored it long enough, it would stop. But the pain was always there, a constant companion during those formative years.

As elementary school came to an end, you looked forward to a fresh start in high school, hoping to leave behind the memories of Riki’s cruelty and the hurt it caused. You spent that summer reading, preparing yourself mentally for the new beginning. High school was a chance to redefine yourself, to be someone more confident and less affected by the past.

The first day of high school arrived, and you walked through the gates with a mixture of anxiety and hope. The campus was much larger, filled with new faces and new opportunities. As you navigated through the crowded hallways, you reminded yourself that this was your chance to start over.

Yet, as fate would have it, one of the first familiar faces you saw was Riki’s. He had grown taller over the summer, his features more mature, but the sight of him brought a rush of old memories and a pang of anxiety. You steeled yourself, determined not to let the past define your high school experience.

Riki’s eyes met yours briefly in the hallway, and you quickly looked away, pretending not to notice. You kept your head high and your focus straight ahead, refusing to let the memories of elementary school overshadow your new beginning. As the days turned into weeks, you found solace in your classes and new friendships, slowly building a new identity for yourself, one that wasn’t marked by Riki’s cruelty.

High school was your chance to be someone new, and you embraced it fully. You participated in clubs, made new friends, and excelled academically. You became someone who was respected and admired, not for how quiet you were, but for your kindness, intelligence, and resilience.

Yet, even as you thrived, the shadow of the past lingered in the background. Riki was no longer the same mischievous boy, and you often caught glimpses of him looking your way with a conflicted expression. It seemed he, too, was dealing with the echoes of the past, but you pushed those thoughts aside. This was your time to shine, and you weren’t going to let anything dim your light.

I leaned against the window of the train, watching the cityscape gradually transform into rolling hills and lush greenery. My parents had decided that a summer away from the city would do me good, so they sent me to my grandparents’ house in the countryside. I wasn’t thrilled at first, but as the train moved further from the familiar, I felt a strange sense of anticipation. Maybe this was what I needed—a break from everything.

Upon arrival, my grandparents greeted me warmly. My grandfather, a stoic yet kind man, patted my shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Riki. You’ve grown.”

I smiled, feeling a bit awkward but comforted by their presence. Their house was a quaint, old-fashioned home surrounded by fields and forests. It was a world away from the bustling city and my usual distractions.

The first few days were uneventful. I helped with chores, spent time exploring the woods, and tried to keep my mind off things. But the tranquility of the countryside made it hard to ignore the thoughts that had been gnawing at me. Memories from elementary school, particularly of you, kept surfacing, filling me with a deep sense of regret.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, my grandfather found me sitting alone on the porch. “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

I shrugged, “Sure, Grandpa.”

We sat in silence for a while, watching the fireflies flicker in the gathering dusk. Finally, he spoke. “I see a lot on your mind, Riki. Something you want to talk about?”

I hesitated but then sighed. “I’ve been thinking about how I used to treat someone back in elementary school. There was this girl, Y/N. I was really mean to her. I bullied her, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

My grandfather nodded, his expression thoughtful. “It’s good that you’re reflecting on your past actions. It means you’re growing up. But feeling guilty isn’t enough. You need to take responsibility and make amends if you can.”

“How do I do that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“By showing that you’ve changed through your actions. Be kind, be respectful, and if you get the chance, apologize sincerely. It’s never too late to make things right.”

I pondered his words. The next day, I decided to start making changes in small ways. I helped my grandparents more willingly, took on extra chores, and tried to be more considerate and patient. I found that these small acts of kindness made me feel better, more grounded.

My grandfather also shared stories from his own youth, times when he had made mistakes and had to learn from them. “We all mess up, Riki,” he said one evening. “What matters is how we choose to move forward. You have the power to become a better person.”

I spent the rest of the summer embracing this new mindset. I also rekindled my passion for dance, which had always been a source of joy and expression for me. My grandparents encouraged me, watching proudly as I practiced in the open fields, my movements becoming more fluid and purposeful.

My grandmother had also given me a journal. “Write down your thoughts, your goals. It might help you sort through everything.”

I took her advice and began journaling. I wrote about my regrets, my hopes for the future, and my desire to change. The act of writing helped me clarify my intentions and strengthened my resolve to be better.

As the summer drew to a close, I felt a profound sense of transformation. I had grown not just physically but emotionally and mentally. I was determined to carry this new perspective into the school year and beyond.

It was the first day of junior year, and Riki stood at the entrance of the high school, scanning the sea of faces.

As he walked through the crowded hallways, greeting friends and acquaintances, he spotted a familiar face—you. You had changed since elementary school. Your posture was more confident, your smile brighter, and there was an air of indifference around you that made you almost unrecognizable. Yet, something about you drew him in, something that made his heart race and his stomach churn with regret.

Riki couldn’t shake the memories of how he had treated you. The pranks, the taunts, the humiliation he had caused—all of it came rushing back. He watched you from afar, captivated by your resilience and grace. He wanted to approach you, to apologize, but every time he tried, the words caught in his throat. He feared you would see him as the same bully from your past.

Days turned into weeks, and Riki found himself unable to stay away. He would catch glimpses of you in the hallways, during lunch, and in classes you shared. He noticed how you interacted with others—kind, intelligent, and respected. You had built a life for yourself that seemed untouched by the shadows of your shared past.

One afternoon, Riki finally gathered the courage to speak to you. He found you sitting alone under a tree, engrossed in a book. Taking a deep breath, he approached. This was it—the moment he had been dreading and longing for all at once.

“Hey,” he said, his voice shaky.

You looked up, your eyes meeting his with a calm, unreadable expression. “Hi,” you replied, your tone polite but distant.

“I… I don’t know if you remember me,” Riki began, his hands trembling. “But we were classmates in elementary school. I treated you badly, and I’ve felt awful about it ever since. I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

You studied him for a moment, your face portraying no emotion. “It’s okay,” you said finally. “It was a long time ago.”

Riki’s heart sank. Your indifference was worse than anger. “No, it’s not okay,” he insisted. “I hurt you, and I need to make it right. Please, let me make it up to you somehow.”

You closed your book and stood up, looking him in the eyes. “Riki, I’ve moved on. You should too. We were kids back then, and kids do stupid things. But we’re different people now.”

Riki watched you walk away, feeling more lost than ever. Your words, though reasonable, didn’t absolve the guilt that gnawed at him. He knew you were right, but he couldn’t just let it go.

Over the next few days, Riki struggled with how to show you he was sincere. He realized a simple apology wouldn’t be enough. He needed to prove through his actions that he had changed. But how? He barely knew you now, and you seemed so far removed from the girl he had tormented.

Riki wandered, pondering his thoughts, when he saw you struggling with a stack of books outside the library. He rushed over without thinking. “Let me help you with those,” he offered.

You hesitated for a moment but then nodded. “Thanks.”

As he carried the books for you, he tried to make small talk. “I noticed you like reading a lot. What’s your favorite book?”

You glanced at him, surprised by the question. “It changes, but right now, I’m really into ‘Pride and Prejudice.’”

Riki nodded, genuinely interested. “I’ve heard it’s good. Maybe I should give it a read.”

You looked at him skeptically, a small smile playing on your lips. “You don’t strike me as the classic literature type.”

Riki chuckled, relieved to see a hint of warmth in your demeanor. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t before, but I’m trying to broaden my horizons.”

You seemed to soften a bit at that. “Well, it’s never too late to start.”

Riki continued to find small ways to help you. He held doors open, saved you a seat in class, and even stood up for you when others tried to belittle you. At first, you were wary of his intentions, but gradually, you began to see that his efforts were genuine.

“Thank you, Riki,” you said softly. “I see that you’re trying, and I appreciate it. Let’s start over, as friends.”

Riki felt a weight lift off his shoulders. “I’d like that,” he replied, smiling for the first time in what felt like years.

As you spent more time together, Riki’s feelings for you grew deeper. He admired your strength, your kindness, and your ability to move forward despite the past. He found himself falling for you, not just because of his guilt, but because of who you had become.

One afternoon, you and Riki found yourselves alone in the library, working on a group project. The other members had taken a break, leaving the two of you surrounded by the quiet hum of study sessions and the occasional shuffle of books being returned to shelves. The atmosphere was tense with unspoken words, both of you aware of the lingering tension from your shared history.

Riki had been grappling with his guilt and uncertainty for months, haunted by memories of his actions in elementary school. As he stole glances at you, diligently scribbling notes in your project binder, he knew he couldn’t keep avoiding the conversation that weighed heavily on his conscience.

Finally, summoning all his courage, Riki spoke up, his voice tinged with sincerity and vulnerability. “Y/N,” he began, his tone serious yet hesitant, “I know I’ve said sorry before, but I feel like it wasn’t enough. I really want to explain why I acted the way I did back then.”

You looked up from your notes, meeting his gaze with a mix of curiosity and caution. Your eyes, usually warm and welcoming, now held a guarded expression that mirrored the walls you had built around yourself. “Okay, I’m listening,” you replied quietly, willing to give him this moment to explain.

Riki took a deep breath, his hands fidgeting with a pencil he had picked up absentmindedly. “When we were kids,” he began slowly, choosing his words with care, “I didn’t understand a lot about myself or how to treat others. I was insecure and desperate to fit in. I thought… I thought making fun of you would make me look cool.”

He paused, the weight of his admission hanging heavy in the air between you. “It was wrong and cowardly,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I regret it deeply.”

You listened in silence, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you—pain from the memories of being ridiculed, skepticism about Riki’s sincerity, and a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, people could change.

“It’s hard for me to reconcile the person you were with who you seem to be now,” you finally admitted, your voice soft but laced with underlying uncertainty.

Riki nodded earnestly, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes. “I understand,” he said sincerely. “And I don’t expect you to forget or forgive easily. But I want you to know that every day, I try to be a better person. Meeting you again has given me a chance to make things right, and I don’t want to waste it.”

Your expression softened slightly, a faint hint of understanding dawning in your eyes. “I can see that you’re trying, Riki,” you acknowledged quietly, your guard easing just a fraction. “But it’s going to take time for me to fully trust you.”

Riki exhaled slowly, relief washing over him at your words. “I know,” he replied earnestly, his voice tinged with determination. “And I’m prepared for that. I just want to be someone you can count on, even if it’s just as a friend.”

The library seemed to cocoon around you both, the weight of the past slowly easing as Riki’s honesty and vulnerability bridged the gap between you. It was a small step forward, but for Riki, it felt like the first ray of sunlight breaking through storm clouds after a long, dark night.

And, Riki kept his words, continuing to show his commitment through his actions. He was there when you needed help with schoolwork, offering explanations patiently and without judgment. He saved you a seat during lunch breaks, engaging you in conversations that gradually moved beyond surface topics to deeper discussions about life, dreams, and shared interests.

Each interaction was a testament to Riki’s genuine effort to be a better person and a reliable friend. And though the road to rebuilding trust was fraught with uncertainties and hesitations, both you and Riki knew that every small step forward was worth it.

One evening, as the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over the streets, you walked home together with Riki. The usual bustle of the day had settled into a serene quiet, creating a moment of intimacy between the two of you.

“Y/N,” Riki began, his voice soft yet filled with sincerity, “I need you to know that my feelings for you aren’t just about making up for the past. I truly care about you, and I want to be someone who supports and cherishes you.”

His words hung in the air, a gentle breeze stirring the leaves overhead as you processed their weight. You slowed your pace, turning to face Riki, searching his eyes for any hint of uncertainty or insincerity.

“Riki,” you replied slowly, your voice quiet but steady, “it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with what happened between us in the past. I appreciate your honesty and your efforts to change. But trust… trust takes time.”

Riki nodded, his expression earnest as he listened to your words. He understood the depth of your caution, knowing that his actions in the past had left scars that couldn’t be easily forgotten.

“I promise you, Y/N,” Riki spoke earnestly, his voice carrying a note of determination, “I’m not that same person anymore. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’m committed to proving it to you, no matter how long it takes.”

You studied him for a moment, observing the sincerity in his eyes and the sincerity in his voice. There was a vulnerability in his stance, a raw honesty that touched something deep within you.

“I can see that you’ve changed, Riki,” you admitted quietly, a flicker of hope kindling in your heart. “And I want to believe in you.”

Riki’s shoulders relaxed slightly, relief evident in his features. “Thank you, Y/N,” he replied gratefully. “I know I still have a lot to prove, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

As you continued walking, the weight of Riki’s words lingered between you, weaving a thread of understanding and tentative trust. The road ahead was uncertain, filled with challenges and moments of doubt, but in that fleeting moment, you dared to believe that maybe, just maybe, forgiveness and healing were possible.

Over the following weeks and months, Riki remained steadfast in his efforts to prove himself to you. He continued to be a supportive presence in your life, offering encouragement during challenging times and celebrating your successes with genuine enthusiasm. He respected your boundaries and never pushed for more than you were ready to give.

Slowly but surely, your trust in Riki grew. It wasn’t a sudden transformation but a gradual evolution, built on a foundation of mutual respect, honesty, and shared experiences. Together, you navigated the complexities of friendship and the delicate dance of rebuilding what had been broken.

And as each day passed, Riki’s actions spoke louder than words, demonstrating his unwavering commitment to being the person you could rely on—a friend who cherished your trust and valued your presence in his life.

I hope you all enjoyed! Please do leave all the criticism as it helps make me a better writer. Also, I tried some new things, like a change of frame. Let me know how the overall story flowed for you all. Love you!

[frecklystars]

I’m in the hospital but I’m gonna be ok + I’ll be going home in a couple of hours. I’m sorry if I worried anyone. I have had the worst year and a half of my life and it is very obvious I am not handling it well

I put a lot of pressure on myself to try to enjoy today specifically because I think I unconsciously told myself that if I couldn’t enjoy today, I could not possibly enjoy any day; if I cannot feel good with these f/os who mean so much to me, then that must mean I can’t feel good with any f/os, that it is proof I am incapable of healing unless if I am able to feel good self shipping and celebrating an f/o anniversary today for the first time in two years.

But that wasn’t what made me spiral so badly— what drove me to make such an impulsive drastic decision that led me into being injured + at the hospital was just, my ptsd and the situation I’ve been stuck in has been so. fucking. vile. It has been extremely difficult for me to feel safe IRL, as well as with self shipping, which is awful because self shipping has always been my strongest coping mechanism for a little over twenty years. Not having self shipping feel the same for the last year and a half has been so hard, and I still haven’t found any other coping mechanism as effective (affective??) I find it difficult to feel joy anymore bc my ptsd/anxiety has been flaring up so much it has made my depression astronomically worse.

which is what today was supposed to be for, I am supposed to be celebrating the fact that I found two f/os who made me feel safe again for the first time one year ago and breathed some life back into me to help me self ship again. But i never feel 100% safe. I never really feel fully loved or like I am able to relax with any of my f/os because my trauma feels like it’s done too much damage. I grieve the special interest I lost every day, i grieve the 200+ tf f/os that I was conditioned to believe would harm me. Besides tf, I have still lost so much due to trauma. Songs, colors, certain clothes, certain phrases, certain animals, characters, there’s so many triggers. I don’t go a day without getting triggered by something and then getting angry with myself for being triggered, beating myself up for being traumatized. Then I feel utterly heartbroken that this happened to me. Then I get angry again because this all should never have happened to me. It’s like, the moment I’m triggered I start snowballing, and I cannot find the off switch. I don’t know how people are able to turn off their emotions. I can’t function.

I don’t go a day without a flashback or a nightmare reliving everything that happened to me, that is still happening to me. I am always crying over the things I’ve lost and I really don’t think I am able to go back to the person I used to be. I already was so unhappy before my trauma, which is why I was so reliant on self shipping my whole life, but now I’m like… just some scared, broken, jittery thing. I feel like just a shell of a person way too often and it’s so hard to not feel hopeless

I had today all planned out these last 2 months, I had a special breakfast made, I was planning a really good dinner, I was going to make a beach cake and heart cookies, I ordered flowers, etc. a ton of shit planned. I was going to go to the beach, go to the movies, customize my dolls. My favorite part of f/o anniversaries is looking back on my love notes and reblogging them. I had sooo much planned for Barbie and Ken for my blog. They’re so important bc they’re the only good thing I’ve been able to cling onto this whole year, yet I am doing so fucking badly and have barely felt anything for them for a few months now bc I’m so overwhelmed with reliving my trauma. I didn’t get to queue anything special for today. I should really be happy today but I’m not, and it’s really making me believe “ok well if I can’t feel any joy from these f/os then I can’t feel any joy with anyone ever again bc my ptsd is just too fucking bad.”

I haven’t slept *at all* in the last couple of days which obviously makes my emotional distress way worse. i could not for the life of me make today work. I wasted a lot of time and energy and money trying to feel something for my f/os when I am in the worst headspace. I don’t think it’s worth even postponing the anniversary celebration bc I just feel… absolutely nothing except dread and grief 24/7.

I don’t know what else to say. Physically I am injured and emotionally I am Not Okay, but I’m alive I guess. I didn’t want to go offline and say nothing whatsoever because then people would probably worry after seeing that last post. I am sorry if I worried anyone, I am obviously just. going thru it right now and idk when it’s gonna get better. I’m gonna try to get back into the habit of self shipping and watching movies with friends again, y’know like the saying fake it til you make it, maybe it’ll trick my brain into feeling better. I won’t go offline entirely but I am probably not gonna open any messages for a while, I’m sorry I know I haven’t opened any dms in over 4 months, it’s just been so hard and my energy levels are dead. But I make sure they’re unread/unopened so the notification is still there to remind me and I’ll be able to get back to ppl when I gather the strength. Um I don’t know what else to say. I love you.

[eddiedefender]

“eddie is a bad father"

Since 7x09 aired, I've been seeing a lot of people saying that Eddie is a bad father, and it's just so ????????????? Have you even watched the show???????

I'm not denying the mistakes Eddie has made regarding Chris, especially during the first years of his life, but making mistakes does not automatically make him a bad parent. The important thing is that after making those mistakes, he has done everything in his power to correct them. He has always tried to shield him of whatever disasters or tragedies life has thrown at Chris.

So for those people, now I'm going to do a rundown of Eddie's and Chris' relationship, but I'm also going to be focusing on Eddie as a person and not only as a father. i tried to keep it in a chronological order. (I'm so sorry for any inconsistencies :( )

El Paso, TX.

Shannon and Eddie begin

Eddie and Shannon were never a healthy relationship. They are high school sweethearts who had to get married due to her getting pregnant accidentally at 19. High school relationships, especially the first ones, are almost never meant to last. Eddie forced himself to get married to her bc he felt it was the “right” thing, due to his catholic upbringing and subsequent catholic guilt. He automatically assumed his role, not bc he wanted, but because he felt like he Had to. This caused his marriage to be extremely dysfunctional.

Catholic guilt and his identity Eddie's catholic guilt is likely closely related to his identity as the son of Mexican immigrants. Catholicism in Latin America was introduced in a very traumatic and forced way by Spanish colonizers. Thousands of Native Americans were killed for refusing to converse to Catholicism, therefore causing Catholicism to become really intense in Latin America, a way in which it remains until now. Entire Latino countries values and laws circle back to catholic traditions, there is virtually no way to escape religion. This is then mixed with the innate sexism that is common in those countries, leaving a pretty extreme view of gender roles. When a kid is raised in these environments or, in eddies case, by people raised in these countries, their life will always be dictated by Catholicism rules, especially when the family is especially (extra) religious, as is implied in Eddie's case. Coming back to how people's life is dictated by Catholicism… this is especially true regarding matters of sexuality and gender. As we all know, Latino Catholicism has strict views regarding gender roles. A man should be the “provider” and “strong” and the woman should “take care of the family” and be “gentle”. That is basically what Eddie is. He always paints himself as the strong one, bottling up his emotions; and also thinks of himself as only the provider for the family. This heavily affected his relationship with Shannon. When he got her pregnant, he automatically assumed that role by marrying her.

Newfound “family”

His marriage and new “family” life caused to be so overwhelming that the only out he saw, was enlisting and going to war, leaving his newborn son and wife alone. All of this was done under the pretence of being the “provider” for his family, because he thought that was what they required from him. He didn't comprehend that his wife and kid also needed him emotionally. Sadly, that was never going to happen due to the very circumstances in which the family was created. He never loved Shannon enough to make things work between them; but he still tried, for the sake of Chris' and to give him a chance to have a proper family.

Shannon leaving

after coming back from war, Eddie and Shannon tried to live the “family life” but that came to be impossible and overwhelming for both of them. This time it was Shannon that left. When she left, Eddie ended up alone with his son, fresh out of the army and with a family that wanted to take away his kid. He instantly knew that Christopher could not go through the trauma of losing another parent. That's why he decided to fight his toxic family for Chris' custody and took him away to L.A., so that they could live and navigate their new family dynamic far away.

Los Angeles, California

Eddie begins again

When Eddie moved out to L.A. he was still discovering how to raise a kid with a disability and also fighting his parents for Chris' custody. He did everything he could to ensure his kid was well taken care of, shielding him from his own struggles. When he got the job at the 118, he still did his best to keep him in a sort of normal environment. Due to Chris' disability, this came to be more of a challenge, but Eddie never stopped trying to get him the extra help he needed by every means.

When he joined the 118 he met buck who then introduced them to Carla, the social worker. Then, Carla and Eddie started to work together, so that they could improve Chris' quality of life, always looking out for his happiness.

L.A. life

Besides Carla, Eddie also found his support system on the 118. These people always helped him in everything he required and became his friends; especially Buck, as his best friend. Eddie found in Buck a person very similar to him, one that had Chris' best interests at heart and someone that would fight tooth and nail for him. Seeing the positive impact buck made, he decided to make him a constant presence in Chris's life. This made nothing but improve both Chris' and Eddie's family life.

Nevertheless, life in L.A. was not so happy for Eddie. Although he had found a support system and strong friendships, he was still processing Shannon's absence. He always blamed her for leaving him and her son. However, he never made these concerns known to his son, as he didn't want Chris' to grow to hate his mother. The only people who knew about this were the 118, although he was always reluctant to be open about any feelings he experienced.

Shannon

All this came to a halt when Shannon came back to their already settled lives. At the beginning, Eddie tried to navigate his issues with Shannon, without letting Chris know that she had come back. He was afraid that Shannon would leave and therefore scar Chris again. He wanted to shield him from that pain.

After a while, Eddie decided that it was OK for Shannon to come back to Chris' life and for them to try to be a family again. During this time, Eddie and Shannon were still figuring out what they were and how they wanted their future to look like, while also living the family life for Chris' sake.

After navigating their family life and personal conflicts for a while, Shannon asked Eddie for a divorce. She died days after. This was a very big hit for both Eddie and Chris. They both navigated their grief together. It was not a perfect journey, but Eddie never stopped having Chris' best interests at heart.

(natural) Disasters

Soon after Shannon died, another tragedy hit Chris' life: the tsunami. Both tragedies resulted in Chris having recurring nightmares, sometimes blending the lines between his mother's death and the tsunami. Eddie was constantly worried about the state of his son, even though the latter was not opening up to him. He took him to the psychologist to see what he could do to make him feel better and process his emotions.

Mothers or girlfriends?

After Shannon's death, Eddie, maybe involuntarily, leaned back into the “provider” role, and he looked for someone to fill the “mother” role for Chris. His next relationships were solely based on how much Christopher liked his girlfriends. He was focused, perhaps too much, on what he thought was best for Chris. He never noticed that Chris' didn't need another maternal figure, he already had everything he needed in Buck, Carla, and the rest of the 118.

The only relationship he had, prior to L.A. was the one with Shannon. The outcome of that relationship left him severely traumatized and unable to form emotional bonds with women. And anxiety when thinking of a future or marriage with them. He only valued his girlfriends regarding on how much Chris' liked them, removing himself completely from his own relationship.

Grief

since Shannon died, Eddie has never got the chance, or given himself the chance, to grieve her properly. He has constantly bottled up his emotions, until he couldn't anymore, resulting in extreme reactions. Or, on the other hand, completely gaslighting himself into believing something that wasn't true.

First, soon after she died, while dealing with the aftermath of the tsunami and its impact on Chris' he stated to develop feelings of anger towards her. To try and “process” his rage, he turned to illegal fight clubs, only stopping when he almost killed a man. Eddie then confessed to bobby he did that so that he could keep his anger under control as to not let Chris down, seeing he was the only parent Chris had left.

Second, during the subsequent seasons, Eddie started to completely morph the mental image he had of Shannon and their relationship. Shannon suddenly became the epitome of motherhood and the perfect wife. He completely stripped her out of her humanity, putting her on a pedestal or an example he should seek to obtain. All of a sudden, they never had any marriage problems, and he even forgot that she asked him for a divorce. Their marriage was only perfect since the day she died.

His delusions have reached their breaking point in s7. He quickly fell down into a hole after seeing a girl similar to his wife. He started pursuing her, even though he already has a girlfriend. Also, leading this woman into a situationship without her knowing about the wife.

It was only after buck said something, that he realized that he wasn't even sure of what he wanted from Kim. He soon after came clean to her, and tried to stop their relationship. (then she matched his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 and actually got bangs and got into a weird role-play as shannon, to “try” to get Eddie to get over her, is suppose.... I don't even know what she was trying to do there😭😭😭😭). That is when Chris caught them. Eddie never intended for his son to see him in this broken state, and he had actually done a great job at hiding it until now.

This mistake does not erase how much Chris means to Eddie and all the things he has done to maintain Chris' wellbeing.

This is simply an example of a very broken man.

i wanted to clarify that when i refer to "catholicism" in the text im not talking about what the scriptures (Bible) say, i talk about how people interpret them in latam context. also im probably forgetting some things but I think this gets my point across.

[whatacaitastrophe]

Is It Over Now - Chapter 6

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "Love The Hell Out of You" - Lewis Capaldi

Chapter Warnings: frottage

Spotify Playlist: Here

Chapter Notes: if you have read this fic, liked it, reblogged it, or left comments THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. keep the comments coming bc i love hearing your feedback (and like tinkerbell, i need applause to live).

Chapter 6: I'll Bring You Heaven, If That's What You Need

Astarion is gone when Fallon returns to the suite, and her heart drops into her stomach. 

“Astarion?” she calls out desperately as she scours every inch of the space they’ve been cohabitating in for the last month, just in case he’s hiding under the bed or in a wardrobe. Logically, she doesn’t know why he would be there, but her brain urges her to check, just in case. When she’s certain that he’s well and truly gone, Fallon’s chest tightens and she sinks down onto the floor in front of the couch. Her eyes brim with tears as she curses herself for being so stupid. She pushed away the one person she’d begun to believe wasn’t going to leave her. 

The door to the suite opens and shuts behind her. Fallon launches herself to her feet and comes face to face with Astarion, holding a plate of food. The relief that floods Fallon at the sight of him is so overwhelming that she begins crying.

“Fallon? Are– are you okay?” he asks, the look on his face is a mixture of confusion.

Fallon sniffs and she wipes her eyes. “You… you left…” she explains. “I got back, and you were gone, and I– I thought–”

Astarion is at her side with an elven quickness. He sets the food down on the sitting room table, and he pulls her into a crushing embrace. “I went down to the tavern to order food for you, because you’re much easier to have serious conversations with when you’ve eaten.” He kisses the top of her head and holds Fallon closer. 

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Fallon feels incredibly silly. She looks at Astarion, and sniffs again. “You were downstairs? I– I walked through the Tavern to get back up here…I didn’t even see you,” She combs through her memory from the last ten minutes, trying to find Astarion in the tavern as she passed through. She’d been so focused on getting back to him, so worried about whether or not he’d still be there, the fact that he could still leave the suite but remain at The Elfsong didn’t occur to her. Fallon looks down again, pressing her forehead against Astarion’s chest, and a closed mouth giggle bubbles in her mouth. Then she snorts with laughter, and soon, she’s laughing out loud. 

Astarion isn’t sure what to make of the emotional whiplash and he just stares at her. “...Fallon? Would you care to let me in on the joke?” 

Gods, she must look insane. She looks up at him, and she’s grinning. “I’m sorry, I– it’s just.. I was so worried about getting back up here to try and catch you before you left, that I didn’t see you in a gods damned room I walked through.” And as a result, she’d nearly spiraled out, and she had no one to blame other than herself.

“Well, it’s been an emotional day…” He tries to reason, and Fallon cuts him off and grins. “No, don’t defend me to me, Astarion, this is one of those rare moments where I’ve made a complete fool of myself for no reason, and it just might be the funniest thing I’ve done in a long while.”

His body relaxes once he’s sure Fallon hasn’t lost her mind, and he grins back at her, and soon he’s laughing too. “You’re an absolute lunatic, you know that right? Shall I leave a note the next time I go to the toilet, just so you don’t worry?” 

“Please do, or I may just throw myself out a window.” Fallon rolls her eyes, shaking her head. She reaches up to wipe her eyes. “Gods, what a weird fucking day.” Though all is well now, she does not remove herself from his embrace. It feels safe here.

“Speaking of weirdness from today, I would like to talk about what happened earlier.” he requests, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. 

“As would I, but I am quite hungry, and I desperately need to bathe. I still smell like sweat from this morning.”

“I didn’t want to say anything since you were under duress, but now that I’m certain all is well I must tell you how terrible you smell and request, nay, beg you to please for the love of the gods, take a bath.” There’s a twinkle in Astarion’s eyes as he teases her. Fallon gently shoves his chest.

“Well then let me go, and so I can save both of our noses.”  Even if she doesn’t smell nearly as bad as they’re pretending she does, Fallon still wants to get the grime of this day off of her body. 

Astarion presses another kiss to the top of her head, releasing her from his arms. “I promise I’ll still be here when you’re done.” He winks at her. Despite knowing her previous concerns about Astarion deciding to move out were unfounded, hearing him promise that he wasn’t going anywhere still sends a shot of relief through Fallon’s body as she exits the room. 

The warm water and soap do wonders for her body and her overall mental state, and when Fallon emerges from the bedroom with wet hair and bare legs, dressed in a comfortable oversized tunic, she feels immensely better, and ready to have the conversation she and Astarion need to have. Being vulnerable with people is not a favored pastime of Fallon’s, but at this point, Astarion has seen Fallon at her absolute worst in ways no other person has. 

Soft, classical music coming from the phonograph fills her ears when she re-enters the room, and Astarion is reading a book on the lounge chair by the fireplace. He only looks up long enough to offer her a gentle nod of acknowledgement before returning to his book. She sits down on the couch back in the sitting room as she realizes Astarion fetched one of her favorite meals: Fish and chips. A half-smile appears on her face as she picks up the plate, eternally grateful the cook in The Elfsong’s kitchens is a mage who’d created a spell to keep food from getting cold. “What are you reading?” She asks with a mouth full of chips. 

He looks up from his book. “Oh, it’s something I found on the bookshelf. Whoever stayed here last before you moved in must have left it behind.” Astarion closes the book and relocates to the couch beside Fallon, stealing one of her chips from her plate. Fallon once asked him why he still eats “normal” food soon after she found out he was a vampire; he told her that food still tastes good to him, even if it didn’t sate his hunger. Plus, keeping up appearances with those who believed him to be a perfectly normal highborn elf.

“Is it any good?”

“I think it’s technically a children’s book, but I’m enjoying it anyway. It’s about a young boy finding out he’s a wizard after living with his non-magical family for his entire life, and gets sent off to a magic school to be with his peers. The things that have happened to him whilst at school so far are unrealistic, but it makes for a good story. I can see why children would like it.” 

Fallon pauses mid-chew as Astarion describes the book to her. It’s a book Fallon knows extremely well, but she hasn’t thought about it or read it since she was fourteen years old. She swallows the food in her mouth. “I’ve read it… It was my favorite book as a child.” Fallon grins as she thinks back to the many nights she stayed up far past her bedtime reading the story over and over again, wishing she had magical powers. “Have you gotten to the part with the ogre yet?” 

Astarion snorts. “Yes, that’s what I was reading just now. Ridiculous.” 

“When I was a kid, I used to make my friends act out parts of the book with me in the garden,” She smiles at the memory. “Then one day, one of the little boys I played with, Declan was his name, yelled one of the spells from the book and it actually worked. His younger sister got blasted back by a force of air and hit a tree. She broke her arm. We were forbidden from actually saying the spells when we played after that.” 

“That’s…well that is the most adorable story I think I’ve ever heard,” He says, an endearing look on his face. “Are you still in contact with any of them?” 

Fallon smiles sadly and shakes her head. “No, I lost contact with everyone when I was forced to leave home after…after my parents died. I went by their farm while we were in Rivington, but the house had been burned to the ground. All I can hope now is they all got out before it went up in flames.” 

Astarion takes her hand and squeezes it. “Maybe now that we don’t have agents of The Absolute on our tails, you can ask around about them.” 

“Maybe,” she muses, and squeezes his hand back. “Maybe once you can walk in the sun again, you can come with me.” 

“I’d like that.” 

Silence falls between them as they look at each other. Discussing future plans is the perfect transition to the conversation they need to have, but Fallon’s nerves settle in suddenly and she doesn’t really want to be the first one to speak. Apparently, neither does Astarion. Still, someone needs to say something, so Fallon pushes through her nerves and opens her mouth.

“Astarion, I–”

“Fallon, I–” 

They speak at the same time, avoiding each other’s gaze as they laugh nervously. “Ladies first?” Astarion offers, and Fallon nods, swallowing hard. 

“Thank you for the gown.” She starts. Whatever Astarion expected her to say, it hadn’t been that and a look of surprise crosses his face.

“Oh! You’ve seen it?”

“I found Shadowheart on my walk. She was at Facemaker’s for a final fitting for her own,” she nods, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “Needless to say I was quite surprised when Figaro said he had something for me to try on.”

“Of course you found Shadowheart at the dress shop, of all places.” he laughs.

She pauses. “How did you know I was going to decide to attend the ball?”

“I didn’t. I’d planned to drag you there regardless of whether or not you wanted to go, because you need to leave this damn tavern more than once a month, and I didn’t want you to embarrass me, so I asked Figaro to whip something up.” He’s teasing her, and while Fallon appreciates the humor to lighten the conversation, she gives Astarion a look.

“You’re deflecting, Astarion.”

He sighs heavily. “Yes, well, this conversation isn’t any easier for me than it is for you, you know.”

“I know.”

Silence falls between them again. “Do you like it?” he asks softly.

Fallon stares at him in disbelief, and she grabs his hands, holding them in her own. “Like it? Astarion, I think it might be the most extravagant piece of clothing I’ve ever owned. If it were logical to wear it everywhere, I would.” she declares with a short laugh. 

“You could, you know. With how beautiful you probably look, nobody would question you.”

Fallon inhales sharply. It’s the first time Astarion has ever called her “beautiful.” In all the time she’s known Astarion, and for all the useless (but pretty) outfits she obtained through their travels and wore around camp, he’s never called her beautiful. It was usually a sly comment about backside, or that if he were the wizard, the outfit would be on the ground already. Nothing was ever serious, only ever said to intentionally get under her ex-lover’s skin.

As if he senses her disbelief, Astarion rubs his thumbs over the back of her hands. “Fallon, I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m attracted to you, or that I have been for…a very long time.” he admits cautiously. “Only I think we can both agree that back then I was in no position to be the person you needed; and by the time I was, you’d chosen him. He was, well, as stable as someone with an explosive in his chest could be. Even when he annoyed the hells out of me on a good day I saw how happy he made you, how nauseatingly adorable the two of you were, and decided to let it be.”

Everything he says makes perfect sense, and guilt settles in Fallon’s stomach. Hearing he’s cared for her all of this time makes her wish she maybe hadn’t flirted back quite so much back then. “I’m sorry if flirting with you the way I did ever hurt you, or led you on. Not once have I ever wanted to hurt you.”

“Oh I know, darling. You don’t need to worry about the things that happened during that time in our lives,” He lets go of one of her hands with a wave. “But that’s…that’s why I pushed you away earlier today. You’ve been so upset over him for so long, I was worried that if anything were to happen between us, it would mean so much more to me than it would to you. I don’t think I could have lived with that, or myself.”

Fallon exhales softly and takes back Astarion’s free hand. “I know I’ve been a complete and utter mess for the last year because of what happened, but after speaking with Shadowheart today, I think– I think I’ve always known deep down there could be something more happening here but I was so blinded by infatuation with him I didn’t see it,” she explains. “He was the first person that was kind to me and made me feel like I was worth something in a very long time, and I think I clung to that and to him so much because I needed to.”

“I’m not saying I didn’t actually love him, or that I don’t still have lingering feelings for him now, but I think those lingering feelings may have more to do with how he made me feel and how swiftly he took it all back than anything else. I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my life, and it’s led me to believe that people will always leave. He was the first person in decades to make me feel otherwise and well, you’ve seen the results firsthand.”

Fallon adjusts herself so she’s sitting on her knees on the couch, facing Astarion. “ None of that has any affect on my feelings for you. I’m still healing, yes, but having you around for the last month has helped more than I think you’ll ever understand. It’s helped me move on, and see what’s been in front of me this whole time.”

She’s speaking quickly now, like she’s trying to get everything out before she completely loses her nerve. “And if you don’t trust me, or this, and you don’t want to be with me because of it, I won’t think any less of you–”

“Fallon.” Astarion interrupts. 

“And if you don’t want me to come with you to Asha anymore because it will be too difficult to be around me or something, I completely understand. I’ll still help you prepare of course, because I’m invested now–”

“Fallon!” Astarion interrupts, louder this time, but a smile is blooming on his face. “Will you please shut up so I can kiss you?” 

Fallon gapes at him, but she remains silent as she nods. Astarion lets go of her hands and without any additional ceremony, he cups her face in his hands and pulls her in for a deep, slow kiss. Fallon kisses him back in earnest. Her balance wavers in her current position, so she takes the opportunity to crawl towards Astarion and straddle herself across his lap.

That’s the only encouragement from her that Astarion needs, and the way he kisses her changes from sweet and tender to absolutely filthy. His hands move from her face to her bare thighs and he pulls her body flush against his, grinding her hips down into his lap with a delicious friction that leaves Fallon breathless. Their tongues invade each other’s mouths desperately, and Astarion’s teeth graze Fallon’s bottom lip, biting gently. She moans softly, grinding against him again as her hands begin to roam over his chest, settling there to grip his shirt so tightly it’s as though her hold on the fabric covering his skin is the only thing tethering her to reality.

Astarion’s broad hands slide up her thighs to rest on her ass, kneading it gently, and he groans into her mouth. “You have,” he mutters against her lips before kissing her again. “The most perfect fucking backside,” He bites her lip a little harder, and she whimpers with pleasure. “In all of Faerun.” The praise has Fallon grinding against him again, desperate for any sort of friction she can get, her mouth moving to kiss his neck. She does not dare bite Astarion’s neck out of fear of the memories it may bring back, but it does not stop her from pressing feverish kisses on his skin, taking extra care and gentleness on the spot where two puncture marks from Cazador permanently reside. A noise of approval leaves Astarion and Fallon smirks, licking the column of his neck slowly before kissing it again. 

Her grinding movements against his lap are consistent now, as are the accompanying breathy little moans. Fallon is immensely pleased as she feels Astarion’s cock completely harden underneath her, his own breath becoming heavier. “Gods above, you’re an absolutely feral little thing, aren’t you?” Astarion murmurs teasingly into her ear, nipping lightly at the skin just below it. “You’re going to come like this for me.” It’s not an observation, or even a request. 

It’s an order, and it’s so damn hot that his name tumbles out of her mouth. “Fuuuuck, Astarion .” It comes out like a whine and she can feel him smirking against her neck. He nudges her away from his neck to capture her mouth again with his own in a demanding kiss, and his grip tightens on her ass, pulling her as close to him as he can while she grinds on his hard cock. His own movements are becoming desperate, and Fallon doesn’t need to ask or be told to know that she’s not the only person about to come in their pants like an inexperienced virgin. Astarion bites down on her lip sharply and tugs and Fallon’s mind edges on going blissfully blank. “That’s it, be a good girl and let go.” he mutters.

Hearing the man beneath her calling her a “good girl” is all it takes, and Fallon falls apart. Her orgasm rocks through her and she cries out with pleasure. Astarion holds her close as she shatters, kissing her feverishly, and when his own orgasm spills out of him, he’s moaning desperately into her mouth while they finish riding the high out together. They exchange a few more gentle kisses, and once Fallon catches her breath, she pulls back from Astarion and presses her forehead against his. The way he looks at her when his eyes open nearly sends her heart flying out of her chest, and Fallon is quite certain the smile on her face is now permanent. 

“You know,” Astarion muses. “I think that’s the first time anyone has ever been so good at just…moving…that I’ve come in my trousers.” 

Fallon snorts and kisses his nose. “Well I’ve had a lot of practice moving like that.”

Astarion pulls back to look at her with a raised eyebrow and an amused look on his face. “Oh?”

“Not like that, you twat,” She rolls her eyes. “In another life, I rode horses quite regularly so I imagine that despite not having done so in a long time, it’s muscle memory?”

“Sure, horses.” He teases, and kisses her sweetly. “Darling, as much as I would like to remain here with you in my lap, I did just make a mess of myself, so perhaps a bath is in order for me as well.”

Fallon pouts for a moment, not really wanting to relocate. “I suppose I should let you do that since the mess is my fault, shouldn’t I?” She kisses him once more before moving out of his lap. 

He stands and readjusts himself and manages to only look mildly disgusted when his hand comes in contact with the wet spot on the front of his trousers. Fallon giggles to herself as he walks off, and she flops back on the couch with a satisfied smile on her face.

Chapter List

[dutchvanwinkle]

It Will Pass - Dutch x Reader

Happy New Year, friends! Decided to post this today bc I know the holidays can be tough for a lot of people, and in case you needed a cuddle from Dutch here it is <3

I wrote this with a chronically ill reader in mind, but it can read as mental health issues or just general unwellness.   

Link in case you prefer your snugs on ao3.

Summary: You're having an inevitable off day, and it brings out Dutch's soft side.

Word count: 1,511

Content warnings: Pure fluff!

The thing with being unwell, in the manner that you were, was that you were able to function most of the time. You could get on with your day like everyone else, the ailments troubling your body being there, but not quite forceful enough to knock you off your feet. Of course, you were grateful that things weren’t bad enough to stop you from experiencing all life had to offer, but that didn't negate how exhausting it could be. On some days, it became too much to handle, and you could no longer muster the strength to keep your head up. 

Today was such a day, ignoring the brightness of the landscape around you and instead pulling the blanket up to your chin and telling yourself five more minutes repeatedly until it was midday, when you still hadn’t shifted.  

Dutch was off working, which most of the time you were thankful for since you didn’t want to fuss in front of him, especially when there was nothing he could do about it; him often having an insatiable desire to fix every problem presented to him. Unfortunately, yours were problems that couldn’t be fixed so easily. But today, your physical and mental exhaustion had extended to emotional, and an overwhelming sadness, tinted with hopelessness, washed over you that you just couldn’t shake. You knew you’d probably feel better if you got out of bed, enjoyed the fresh air, went for a walk, had something to eat... but you just couldn’t. You wanted to lie in bed and pretend the world around you was still for a while.  

You curled up, cursing the parts of your body that protested and screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to quieten their pleas along with the thoughts in your mind.  

“Sweetheart?”  

Glancing over your shoulder, you watched Dutch enter the tent with a mug clutched in his hand and slow steam rising from it.  

“Sorry, I’ll get up soon,” you murmured, guilt rising at the non-existent contributions you’d made to the gang that day. Usually, you’d be raring to do all the chores that needed doing, or join the others out on a job, or go into town to find leads of your own. What you hated the most was that you were more than capable of getting up and do those things, but your motivation had wavered to nothing.

Dutch only shook his head, his brow creasing as he took tentative steps towards you until he was sat on the edge of the bed. “Is everything alright?”  

“I’m fine,” you shifted onto your back to avoid straining your neck to look at him, “I thought you were out for the day?”  

“We got finished early,” he stated, leaning over to place the mug on the small table beside the cot, and remaining in his position to run his thumb over your temple. “Stop changing the subject. What’s hurting?”  

One of your favourite things about Dutch was his voice. The way he was able to convey so much emotion through it by its tone, volume, and of course his voice cracks. While you loved it when he was passionate and making a speech, assertive when giving out orders, growling when the two of you were intimate, the rarity of it being soft and concerned was always a breath of fresh air that few had the privilege of breathing.  

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that truthfully nothing was hurting that much, and risk him thinking you were being overly dramatic.   

“I see,” he hummed, and you weren’t too sure what he was referring to but then he stood, stripping down to his union suit and pulling back your covers to join you underneath them. He opened his arms in an embrace for you to fall into, which you did gladly and nestled into the warmth of his broad chest, thankful that he hadn’t pressed you further on the matter.  

The truth was that he didn’t need to, he understood without you saying explicitly that you just needed someone else to take the weight, if only for a short while. You never wanted it to be him, though, knowing the heaviness of the duties already pressing down on his shoulders.  

“I’m fine, really,” you mumbled into him to lament your falsehood, muffled by the fabric that separated you from his skin.  

Mhm, was all he responded with as he began stroking your hair, tenderly and not tangling it up to avoid causing you any further distress. He pulled you further in, and the smell and feeling of home getting all too overwhelming for you. You willed yourself not to cry, but it felt so safe in his arms, and you couldn’t help but let the floodgates creep open.  

“Now now, darling,” he shifted to look down at you, but you remained where you were since you didn’t want him to see you cry. You always wanted to be a support for him, something sturdy that he could rely on, not something pathetic and emotional that he had to take care of.  

“Look at me, please.” His hand gingerly cupped your jaw and gently willed you to follow his command, which you did hesitantly.   

The expression that met your tear-soaked one was still concerned but filled with a promise that told you it’d all be okay. You wondered if it was his intention, as those beautiful dark eyes bore into yours. His thumb ran under your eyes to dry your tears, and you sniffled. “I’m sorry.”  

“Stop apologising,” he chastised you gently, kissing your forehead before returning his gaze to you. “It’s okay, you know? It’s all okay. This feeling will pass, I promise.”  

“I know,” you nodded, and you did know. You’d known that morning when you woke up; the feeling will pass and by tomorrow you’ll be back to yourself. Sometimes, it just takes a small pity party before you can get to that point.  

“You are the most precious thing to me. I will always be in awe of how much you manage to carry,” he took a breath to press his thumb on your bottom lip, “all without complaining. But it’s okay, you can complain if you want to. You have every right. I know it’s tough, and you need to give some of that weight to me every now and again.”  

You could only nod, not sure if you’d ever fully believe those words but glad to hear them all the same.  

“Is this helping?” he asked, and you nodded as fervently as you could manage. “Then we’ll stay like this until you feel better.”  

“Dutch, no, it’s okay – you go and carry on with your work, I’ll be fine, don’t worry -”  

“My darling,” he chuckled with the raise of an eyebrow, “are you telling me what to do?”

You managed a small smile, your first one of the day, which softened his features somewhat.  

“Because I can assure you,” he continued, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”  

“You’re sure?”  

“Positive,” he cradled your face in his hand, hands that had caused a lot of pain to many but right now were your greatest source of comfort. He nodded his head in the direction of the table behind him, “try some of that tea for me?”  

You shifted up onto your elbow, reaching over him and grabbing the mug to take a few sips. It was peppermint, you knew that much, one of your favourites and there was other stuff in there though you couldn’t pick out what it was. “Did you make it?”  

“Depends.”  

“On what?”  

“Do you like it?”  

You smirked, taking another few sips before setting it back down and nestling back into his embrace. “I do.”  

“Then yes, I did,” he admitted, though you weren’t sure if he was lying, or partially lying – you'd be sure to ask Hosea later whether it was his doing or whether he’d assisted him. You didn’t mind either way.  

“Well, thanks, in that case,” you snorted, slotting your leg in between his.   

“My pleasure,” he hummed, satisfied with himself. “Would you like me to read to you?”  

You shook your head, quick to correct yourself as you didn’t want him thinking you didn’t enjoy him reading to you; you did, but right now you wanted to lose yourself in him, the aggressive outlaw that also happened to be the gentlest person you’d ever met. “Could you just... talk to me? About your day, or a recent event?”  

“Course,” his voice rumbled soothingly as he pulled your frame closer, tucking your head under his chin and you were more comfortable there than you’d been all day. He paused for a moment, thinking of which story to tell before he began telling it while you listened to the faint rhythm of his heart. “So, you know how Trelawny hasn’t been around for a while? Well, you’ll never guess where Arthur and I found him this morning...”

You smiled to yourself as you found sanctuary in his words; it would all be okay.

[berrymoos]

Hiii!!! It's me again!!! Could I possibly request the Moonknight boys again, this time with these emojis from the game??? 🍼, 🎨, ✨ - Sorry if it's too much!!! 😅

Hope you're having an amazing day/evening/night!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)!!!

HELLOOO MY DEAREST ASH (≡^∇^≡) !! this is not too much at all, dw!! ty for the ask, i hope you're havin an awesome time too!!! <33

🐠 — steven grant!

🍼. what's their favorite age regression accessory / gear?

hm ... probably his winnie the pooh stuffie? he accidentally ordered a pack of characters instead of just winnie, so the others have their own pooh character stuffies, too (marc has eeyore, jake has tigger, & layla has piglet)! not only is his winnie stuffie very very cuddly, it also reminds him of the little family he has now 🥹

🎨. what does their ideal nursery / playroom look like?

he's gotta have some egyptian-themed trinkets and bookshelf filled with books of his interests (& some others that just seem fun)! also puzzles!! he likes working his brain & sometimes, he sets his stuffies next to him & "teaches" them how to do them!!

✨. how are they different when they regress?

he's actually more talkative when small! he's always asking questions, rambling about the things he finds interesting, mumbling under his breath while he does things, etc... for steven, regression means he doesn't have to worry about saying the wrong things or upsetting anybody; at those points, he's just a little guy (*＾＾*)//

🌙 — marc spector!

🍼. what's their favorite age regression accessory / gear?

... his stuffed bunny KSHAKDNWK ,, but is that even a surprise tho? miffy & marc are always together no matter what; miffy is practically his bestest friend ever (just underneath stevie but shhh 🫣)!!

🎨. what does their ideal nursery / playroom look like?

honestly? anything cozy & dark blue works wonders for him. marc is a simplistic little guy, so he doesn't need nor desire a lot of stuff! just having his stuffies & his family is more than okay for him <33

✨. how are they different when they regress?

ohhh this sweet sweet boy 🥹 – marc gets mumbly, cuddly, & a tons more open abt his feelings. his emotions come out a lot easier bc he feels safe to do so, safer than he's ever felt in ... well, a while

🐕 — jake lockely!

🍼. what's their favorite age regression accessory / gear?

two items, but his hat & his building blocks!! his hat offers a place for him to hide behind when he gets overwhelmed or shy about something, while his blocks are his favorite toys to build, knock over, & rebuild! also, paired with steven's imagination, those two can do so much more than just build & knock over – they can have a whole storyline revolving around a little block bridge & a few stuffies!!

🎨. what does their ideal nursery / playroom look like?

i rllllly think jake is bigger on toys than stuffies (not to say he doesn't have a few of his own, like his tigger stuffie & mocha the cow), so his playroom would be filled with blocks, legos, cars, little action figures ... all of that stuff!! <3

✨. how are they different when they regress?

he indulges a lot more in sweet treats n stuff – jake most deff has a sweet tooth, but being khonshu's avatar kinda prevents him from allowing himself to enjoy them as much as he wants! the boys + layla like to keep baggies of candy & cookies around so jake can have something to nibble on when he's small & craving sweets *´ㅅ`)ﾞ♥

[conduitandconjurer]

Hi! Sorry I took so long to share. This is the picture from season 4:

https://www.instagram.com/p/C2zsCNAr8tT/?igsh=MTNrajRhM3R3aXM4dg==

I’m not sure if links work through asks but the official account (umbrellaacad) posted it on instagram. I don’t think having an account is necessary to be able to see it.

It worked, thanks, friend!!!

Hm. Hmmm. Yeah that...is a thing that they posted. Huh. lol.

I mean. This will seem shallow, but Klaus's appearance has always seemed intentionally tied to his inner emotional and psychological (and yes, spiritual) journey--his tattoos alone attest to that--so I think I'm particularly critical of what doesn't seem aligned to his character development visually. That said, I can see how he'd maybe revert to a point in his life when he chopped off and straightened his BEAUTIFUL CURLY hair ( =_=;;;; lol) since the excruciating journey he just embarked upon in order to START seeing himself as worth more than the mastery of his powers ...has kind of been...nullified lol by losing them (I get it, it's a Gerard Way esque thing to be totally nihilistic). Klaus may feel as if he can go back to his younger years (the tennish years preceding the start of Season One) and relive them totally detoxed, harm to his brain and organs also reset, sober. And that's valid, plus I know Klaus has a penchant for going through phases to distract himself from his real problems.

Which is why I'm So Tired™ when I see the nitrile gloves. They have to be in a "still-no-powers" timeline in this shot because Luther is still not fused with ape DNA. I am guessing this is going to be some kind of dumbass ableist gag (lbr, TUA has never cared about stepping right in it when it comes to ableist tropes) a la Adrian Monk and "hoho haha, compounded, severe and complex trauma gave him germaphobic OCD!" (in Klaus's case, because he now has remembered all the murder-experiments Reg did on him in the crypt, and he's no longer immortal, so that makes him hyper-aware of anything that could kill him without his safety net). On the one hand, if this is true I'm happy he has something to lose and therefore cares about how to spend his limited remaining days. On the other hand, no, I don't want Klaus to die, I want him to still have his powers but also CHOOSE to do the work of slowly recognizing he doesn't need them to be worthy of unconditional love.

Is the potential germaphobia good writing? Probably, in many respects.

Is it what I want, because I'm a soft-touch who just wants to see her favs heal because it gives her comfort? Nah.

Is reducing Klaus and his character development to a punchline what I want? God no. I'm so tired of it. I don't care how satirical the show is. Pick on someone else, lmao. I know he's the fandom fav which translates somehow into making him the target for the worst disastrous twists, but LET THE DUMB GAY DANDELION REST.

I saw someone write an alternate theory which I now have forgotten but I KNOW I reblogged it so please feel free to go digging in my reblogs.

Other thoughts: You can tell by the way he's the only one looking a different direction, Five is still the real leader, and I'm glad Luther gave up on that, bc he's Ferdinand the Bull and it doesn't suit him to be all stressed out and bossy. He picks up siblings and throws them down stairs or strangles them when he's overwhelmed, haha DDDDD: Anyway, poor Fivey never wears civilian clothes, except that One Time when he and Klaus went looking for Klaus's birthmother (they are good for each other and need to just like...get in a fucking car and leave again. LOL).

Ben and Viktor look hot but also confused which, fair, especially in Ben's case since he's a Sparrow and a moody Edgelord who needs hugs, lol. And possibly a more dangerous enemy than Reginald, which I frankly hope brings out Klaus's "I'm a big harmless sweetheart who finally snapped a la Katara bloodbending in Avatar" moment. I Need It. Literally every other sibling has had the chance at a minor nervous breakdown, come on. Let Klaus not be okay and acknowldge it to anyone who'll listen! And yeah I know his siblings all love him, I've never disputed that once. Sometimes love ain't enough, and needs to pair up with respect. Sad but realistic truth.

Finally, I wanna know if Allison has reconciled with the family and if so, how. She is fascinating and I think her villain era in s3 was 100 percent in alignment with her character development and her lifelong issues with consent (also Reginald's fault!)

This all came out spicier than I meant LOL. Im not snarking at you, anon, I swear. Thanks for sharing <3 I just expect VERY little out of Season 4. Hopefully I'll be wrong! I was similarly wrong with the Loki series, which gsve me a perfect final-arc scenario for my favorite character of all time.

[bonefall]

Aaaa hc’s sorry I’ve just been thinking about these for the past week. This is how I’m gonna write the characters in my rewrite lol totally not projecting on any of these especially not Squilf haha

Leafpool is autistic but she instead holds eye contact so strongly that it kinda freaks people out, but she does it so she can really pick up on the social cues. When stressed she just starts organizing things and the healer den is always incredibly tidy when she’s in there. But if anyone messes with her herbs, moves them around or doesn’t tidy them back up properly she’ll have a minor meltdown and goes on a cleaning spree to fix it all back up. Noises really bother her as well, at gatherings she always has to put two little moss balls in her ears to muffle the noise enough. Not very social and can’t hold relationships that well but when she does have her people around (her family, mothwing lol) she’s like empowered and so much happier.

Squirrelflight has both autism and adhd but none of her traits got picked up so she’s struggling a lot bc her society holds her to the same degree as everyone else. She cannot hold eye contact for the life of her and is constantly have so many thoughts that she gets overwhelmed incredibly easy. But she’s so good at masking her meltdowns and stress that it’s all internal. Like her sister she’s also pretty bad with social cues unless she’s expressly focused on the person speaking to her. She can make many small relationships but has a hard time keeping them, sometimes just forgetting cats exist which she hates. Almost always on a energy high or a crash and has to sleep a lot because of this but she also has insomnia because she thinks so much so she usually can’t. While her sister finds control in ordering herbs she finds it sorting patrols and such and it’s her favorite part of her routine everyday. If interrupted or messed up she meltdowns and has to go to the woods to calm herself down, or to her sister for help.

Sandstorm has adhd. Less thought about this one but she’s very passionate and emotional. She’s even more energetic then her daughter as a apprentice and always went on dawn patrol to get her energy out. Has a lot of hard time focusing and can get a little tunnel visioned on tasks. From finding she’s good at hunting it’s always her favorite thing to do and finds the most comfort in it.

ADHD Squirrelflight is SO real I can feel it. It also probably what makes her so good at setting up patrols and making every member of the clan feel important; she's always considering the strengths and weaknesses of the cats in front of her who clearly don't have a task to do.

I would love to see her create memory aids for herself, like carving reminders into the walls of her den. I have a corkboard on my desk and it helped a lot when I needed it, it would be super cool if she had a sort of Warrior Cat Compliant chart she used to remember everything.

She could even have little figurines for each member of the clan! Like a thorn is for Thornclaw, a really brightly colored rock is Brightheart.

(My ThunderClan Scourge AU brainrot is informing me that he made an actual small statue of himself for her to use; I see him as a craftsman, as many BloodClan cats were.)

Sandy and Leaf are perfect no notes

You know who else is nd? Bluestar. That woman is autistic, and I'm correct about this.

[unknown-limes]

Writers who don't actively work to have a diverse set of characters are missing out big time. Like, today I saw a post about how cane users should actually hold their cane opposite their bad leg. This made me realize I don't have any physically disabled characters, so I picked a character from my list of OCs and decided he's a cane user.

Then I realized I don't know too much about using canes, so I started doing research. I looked up conditions that could cause cane use and was nearly overwhelmed by those, and then realized it was crazy common for cane users to also be wheelchair users, so I made a note to research wheelchairs later. Then I came across a comic drawn by a cane user who referred to her cane as a leg, which is so interesting to me and makes sense, and she talked about how easy it can be to lose your cane for forgetful or neurodivergent people, which also makes total sense! She also opened a door into the world of cane decoration which just has me bouncing in my seat, I'm so excited to decide how my character would decorate his canes now! I also saw cane users talking about their everyday struggles of people being disrespectful/intrusive bc they were "trying to help" (and winced when I realized I've done some of those behaviors before, I'm really sorry y'all) or the struggle that comes when elevators or handicap-accessible doors or motorized carts at the supermarket are out of order. I also saw younger disabled people discussing struggles with social stigma against them simply for being younger people who need mobility aids.

All of that new information is stuff I hadn't thought of before as an able-bodied person. Some of the more everyday and emotional stuff will be super useful for establishing this OC's personality. It'll even help create more plot, as the emotional strife can be something for him to struggle with in addition to the story's plot. And none of this information would've been learned if I hadn't thought that it'd be nice to have a more diverse cast. I've already written a hundred abled characters, it's more fun to get out of that comfort zone. All it really takes is shutting your mouth and listening.

[psychelis-new]

Hii I hope you don’t mind me asking for some advice. So whenever I go in a crowded place and stay for a while I always end up crying whenever I come back home. I’m guessing its bc I absorb other peoples energy? I’ve tried visualising a shield but I feel it’s not strong enough. If you have any advice for this in general I would really be grateful.

Hey, sure it's fine. Yes it could be cause you pick up a whole bunch of energies all at once or just that... being around people, especially crowds, makes you feel unsafe. It's a normal reaction, you don't have to worry: not everyone likes being around people, and in particular when there are too many of them and you cannot control what they do or where they go. It can feel overwhelming (and it can be a sign of a deeper wound though -ofc I'm not a doctor, so take as resonates).

In particular when we're already stressed for other reasons, being around lot of people (and strong noises, lights and smells), can indeed add to our fears/stress and make it all too much to bear with. But it's good that you cry: crying helps you remove what hurts, physically and emotionally. It could simply be your way to free yourself from that accumulation of random energies or from the general experience. Ofc I am sorry you cry, but it's good. Some people cannot cry easily for things that happens to them, and they accumulate so much before they can free themselves (yeah, hi!)... Anyway, crying doesn't have to be a bad thing, no matter what you've grown up believing (generally: crying = something is wrong = bad). Crying is good, it helps you get better (even if you're in pain).

Now, back to us: to not feel is almost impossible, especially for those who are empaths and pretty sensible (this is also how we may have grown up, needing to pay attention to our surroundings in order to "save ourselves"). But you can work on trying to isolate from what's outside, to put up boundaries (emotional ones. Kinda like shields, but you don't need to visualize anything and lose energy that way -losing energy makes you more vulnerable to the outside one, try to preserve it within you). To put up this boundaries requires lot of work/practice and patience, of confidence and kindness in yourself (it won't work perfectly since day 1) and working on grounding yourself and feeling stable. This is the only real shield you can truly create, whether it's energies or just emotions: working from your inside out.

Generally psychologists suggests to get away from any overwhelming situation (when possible ofc): but crowds are hard to be avoided sometimes. So, try to move away mentally by focusing on something else. - Maybe put music on (just pls remember to pay attention when you cross roads and even walk, look where you go -I personally don't like that cause it makes me lose focus on my surroundings and I don't like to be not able to hear what's around me, but we're all different) - sing a song or a random lullaby in your head, or repeat a lesson or plan your day/try to imagine a dialogue with a friend or anyone (maybe in another language if you know, just to practice it too -it will totally make you focus on another problem which is remembering words); - count to a number (just to see if everyday you count to the same number); - maybe count your steps, but try to not run; - focus on a color/word or an advertisment you can see around, and try to imagine a story about any of them or where you can find them (like color yellow: lemons, bananas, minions...). - hold a notebook or something near your stomach, it may help you feel protected (even a plushie, there's nothing bad in that). - imagine someone holding your hand if you want, and shielding you. Your angels are likely to do it anyway, just be aware of their presence around you. Just take it slow and breathe. Focus on your breathing and calm your body (especially neck/shoulders area and lower back/belly), remind yourself it's okay/safe to walk there and nothing will happen. And nobody's energy can enter you if you don't let them, so don't be scared, don't let fear take over: stay focused on you and grounded. If you walk around in fear of others and look at how many people are around you thinking "omg they're too many I cannot afford them all", you will easily start getting overwhelmed. Don't let this happen: you don't have to afford anyone, you just need to walk your path to home. Again, breathe and focus on you. Do/Think anything that can keep you focused on something else, and that can be comforting for you in that moment, until the crowd is only a memory.

Take care, okay?

[permanately-confuzzled]

Okay so. This gonna be long. But dean headcanon.

This is a bit of a stretch and not one that I think a lot of people lean towards (either that or I'm just not in a circle that talks about it) but. Dean has autism? Maybe not super obvious signs, and I'm much more familiar with the signs in afab than amab, but it feels REALLY similar to myself.

I realize that cptsd has really similar symptoms as low-support-needs (high functioning??? Someone please tell me what term to use I cant figure out if it's problematic or not) late diagnosed autism, as well as several other neurotypes. But a lot of it feels really familiar, and in some of the distinguishments between cptsd and autism, dean leans toward the autism side.

Anyway, a list in no particular order:

Knows a lot about random topics -- that one case where he knew the guy used the wrong country for a proverb to come from, mentioning vonnegut, possible hyperfocus on weapons and fighting

Seems to have a fairly good musical understanding despite having little to no experience -- you're telling me John taught him how to sing? And he picked up on guitar as quickly as was implied? I think the fuck not

Hyperfocus on a TV show/genre -- Scooby-Doo, dr. Sexy, westerns

Perfectly happy driving for hours on end listening to the same tracks on repeat -- apparently this isn't normal???

Seems to dissociate really easy -- he could be desensitized to violence, and probably is at least a little. But when he's already emotional, or caught by surprise, he's immediately horrified, almost like he's not as careless towards it as normal.

Described as having too many emotions. Very much cannot communicate them. Seems overwhelmed.

Very much likes blankets, hot showers, massage bed -- sensory issues. Also, that could be why he wears flannel and jeans all the time. Yeah, it's practical, but the clothes don't bother his sensory issues.

Also, sensory stuff could be why he's constantly chasing sex. If your constantly feeling everything, why not make the everything be mostly good? People with asd also typically are either on the grey scale of sexuality or hypersexual.

He clearly understands communication, but masking. Also, he's fairly social. The puzzle of human communication may be a hyperfixation of his. Not to mention that a few of the times people say things he isn't expecting he gets flustered and confused.

He seems to see grey points in a very black and white way, and black and white as grey. I don't know how else to describe that.

The thing with asd people typically struggling more than nts to understand things like capitalism bc why WOULDNT you give up some fancies if other people can eat enough -- that's literally why he can't get himself to leave hunting.

Not willing to change the impala or his music.

Had the whole dean cave put together without Sam knowing (I think? Correct me if I imagined this)

Routine. He's impulsive when it's his decision, but if someone else decides, he wants nothing to do with it -- getting up in the morning, I swear there's more but my brain is getting tired

Struggles to make close connections. Very few actual friends (especially compared to sam) and very few actual relationships.

The close friends he has are not nt. Charlie most likely has adhd or asd, cas acts very similar to someone with asd, Sam's at least really traumatized. This is common with nds.

He has different personalities depending on who he's with (masking) -- cas vs Charlie vs Sam vs Donna vs Claire vs Benny... etc

Prone to addiction -- the need for routine and chronic stress from masking makes this true for asd people as well.

I think it was called existential suicidal ideation or something like that? Doesn't want to die necessarily, but doesn't really want to be around but does, but doesn't really care. It doesn't seem like a big deal so he's sorta apathetic to it.

I think there was more, but I cant remember right now. Am I crazy???

Sorry is asd autocorected to sad. And yes I did hyperfocus on this for a week and a half.

[roobylavender]

i know you don’t like damian, but i’m very interested in your canon divergence iteration of him. I know you mentioned him getting an anglicized name like damian from his adoptive parents, but would talia have given him a name before giving him up? if so, would she have ever told either damian or bruce what that name is? which parent do you think damian would ultimately be more curious about? who’s side would he be prone to taking in disagreements? is there a bio parent he would prefer the company of, or would he try to split his time fairly evenly between talia & bruce? who would he have more in common with? who would he want to have things in common with? outside his family, who would he look up to? would he ever find out that r’as specifically ordered the death of his parents or just that the league was involved? how would he react to that information? would he be resistant to viewing talia and bruce as his parents because he already had parents? would he blame them for his adoptive parents deaths at all? would he have a similar personality irt the angry yet sensitive dichotomy he’s known for? and lastly, do you think damian’s story would be more interesting if he were brutalia’s daughter rather than their son?

sincerely, someone who thinks dc needs to realize how many of their legacy characters are sons because HOLY FUCK it is basically all of them.

ps. as the anon who sent you the ask regarding how dick would fit into this au a while back, i think it would be interesting to see damian initially forgo the robin mantle (too much history, he’d never admit it but it’s intimidating) and sort of throw his own thing together in attempt to try to investigate his parents deaths a la the backstories where dick basically throws on his flying grayson costume and a mask to hunt down zucco with or without bruce, as i feel like literally every character would end up having very strong emotions about it. i am however unsure if damian would try to name the costume or not. also sorry for the length of this ask.

i don't think she would have given him a name, not because of a lack of love on her part but bc parting with him would have been harder had she claimed any kind of right to him by doing so. i like to think even when she's reunited with him she'd be more inclined to call him by arabic pet names than the name his adoptive parents gave him bc it would feel like a part she couldn't lay claim to. though maybe when he's older and she feels less guilty over giving him up she might feel more comfortable about it

he'd probably be more curious about talia bc there's less about her to tell. bruce is known by so many people but talia is really only known by a few. he could know what she was like and about her dedication to her causes but he wouldn't know who she really was until she was prepared to open up in the first place once she moves past the guilt. bruce might be awkward but he craves companionship. i think he'd be desperate to impart himself

my version of damian probably isn't older than seven-ish so i don't know that he'd have a concept of taking sides like he would be more intrigued than anything bc everything about them is new. i could honestly imagine him being overwhelmed and retreating into his own corner bc he doesn't want to deal with the gravity of their disagreements. maybe that's where the pets can come in

wayne manor is very daunting and gaping and empty in so many ways so as a child i think damian would prefer talia's company bc her apartment is comparatively cozier and closer to the normalcy he may have once had with his adoptive parents, and bc she does tend to keep a stricter divide between her personal and professional life where she can. but bruce and talia would def share custody and i like the idea of damian feeling less lonely on his visits to bruce bc cass and tim are there and he is not viewed as a rabid threat in this scenario lol

interests wise i am biased and want him to have more in common with talia lol. like she is the environmentalist and coming off of a brief education with ra's i think he would want to at least try to maintain that and she would be the person to do it with yknow. but i also like to think he's a free spirit like her and as endeared to animals and so they bond over that too. i imagine as a result of that he'd want to have more things in common with bruce. so maybe each time he stays at wayne manor he reads a book from bruce's personal library and gathers up the courage to talk to bruce about it bc the look of pride on bruce's face fills him up to the brim

i still enjoy the premise of dick and damian's relationship so it'd be nice if dick became his role model in some way. i really loved that idea you presented of damian being the person capable of bridging those gaps between dick and bruce and i also like the idea of damian being someone through whom dick learns to be a better mentor bc he's more self-aware with regards to the connection and complexity of the situation so he tries harder to moderate his instincts and inclinations

personally i absolutely want him to find out ra's was the one who killed his parents. but maybe many years after ra's dies bc i don't think that's something a child so young and having gone through so much trauma already would necessarily be prepared to process, regardless of how allegedly smart or mature he could be for his age. not that he would necessarily fare any better at an older age like he would clearly be upset in any case but i think it's still preferable to leaving a seven year old child to process that

he wouldn't be resistant to acknowledging bruce and talia as his parents in my version of events bc he would already know he was adopted. i remember the couple at the end of son of the demon looked nothing like bruce and talia so i'm pretty sure damian would face the hurdle of being asked why he doesn't look like his parents relatively early. i think he'd be more curious and potentially judgmental as to why bruce and talia (esp talia obv) gave him up bc their reasons for giving him up would literally still be at play in front of him. maybe he'd hold it against them how they can't be the parents he'd already grown used to bc their lives are so much bigger than their own, and that's not a problem he ever experienced with his adopted parents

i honestly feel like a lot of damian's personality is a product of racism so like. at best i think i would maintain the festering indignation and loneliness that sometimes manifests itself in rebellious outbursts or cutting accusations. but my version of damian is probably comparatively subdued to the canon one bc he's grown up in a normal household and doesn't have a eugenics based superiority complex lol

giving them a daughter could be fun bc it would be different but at the same time idk what that would accomplish that talia's personal arc hadn't been dedicated to already. like i think you could make their kid into either a boy or a girl and it wouldn't matter bc the position of being a girl mattered specifically wrt talia given her father's views of succession, which aren't views bruce possesses

that would be a really fun premise! even moreso if like. damian is initially wary of the lives that his parents lead but upon recognizing that they could lead him to unearth the truth about his parents' deaths he may be more inclined to take interest in the craft and pursue his own temporary vision of heroism. that could be a great avenue through which to help him bond with and parallel to dick too

[jojolovenotes]

Hurt/comfort vibes hitting me like a train rn, n e ways

So I imagine that upon first meeting one another, Lavanda and Abbacchio aren’t on good terms, like at all. As Abbacchio describes it, Lavanda is “stuck-up with a savior complex” due to her former occupation as a therapist, believing she puts herself on a moral high horse in order to feel better about herself. Lav resents that Abba was formerly part of a justice system that failed her, because a former therapy group of hers had formed a suicide pact, her name appearing in every single note, which resulted in her being charged with six counts of assisted suicide. Upon Bucciarati having taken her in, the police had just dropped her case out of nowhere, leaving her to have to find out the truth for herself (she later finds out that the pact had nothing to do with her and was drug-related).

Well into the LavBruAbba relationship, this sentiment of disdain is just kind of thrown under the rug and never gets properly addressed. Until one night, Abbacchio stumbles upon a realization. A few months into the relationship, Lavanda had stopped calling Bucciarati by his last name in private or personal moments, only using the formal way of addressing him whilst in a professional setting. Otherwise, she’d call him Bruno. However, no matter what setting they found themselves in, Lav would always address Abbacchio by his last name. No matter how personal or intimate the moment, or whether Bruno addressed him as Leone, Lavanda seemed to refuse to address him as anything other than Abbacchio. This initially upsets him, and he confronts her in a fit of rage, claiming that even if she’s doing so out of respect, it just proves she doesn’t really love him.

Lavanda bursts into tears at this accusation, unable to form a proper sentence or explain to him her reasoning, which leads to a mostly one-sided yelling match. Leone calls her weak, insisting that no wonder her therapy group left her if she can’t even handle a confrontation with her own romantic partner. She must have been burdensome at her job, and he questions if she even deserves to call herself a part of Passione. This accusation hits Lav like a train. She contemplates leaving her partners and the organization as whole right there.

Bruno has been listening into the argument the whole time and finally takes it upon himself to step in as a mediator. He asks Leone that he excuses Lav for a moment, and pulls her aside to comfort her. Lav explains to him the tension that’s been building between Leone and herself, ever since they had first met, along with the fact that a member of her therapy group had shared a similar name with him, which was the ultimate reason she could never bring herself to address Leone by his first name. Leone overhears this, an overwhelming sense of guilt immediately befalling him. Now it’s his turn to question whether he deserves the love of his partners, especially Lavanda. Lavanda meekly opens her arms out to him, almost begging him to accept that she has always and will always love him, and that she’s incredibly sorry that her trauma kept her from something as simple as addressing him by name. He very hesitantly crawls into her embrace, and Lavanda desperately promises him that they’re going to push through this and emerge stronger than ever.

“I love you, Leone.” Is the last thing Lavanda is able to audibly say before she bursts into tears once more. The three of them just hold each other for the next half hour straight, and when everyone is calm they finally address the tension and gain closure, enabling then to strengthen their love for one another.

Uwaaaaaa that was a lot I hope you don’t mind TwT I just had to get it out bc it’s been racking my brain

Tysm for taking the time to let me gush as always it means the world to me

Oh gosh T^T Hurt / comfort is always so good... Just having all those intense emotions being released and then being able to just be held and comfortable. It’s so good T^T 

[soleilnomoon]

Heyy kaia!! How are youuu girlll?? 🥀 You looking nice these days~ (i never met you lmao but i can feel the good vibes 🤓)

Idk if you like them, but I'll give it a go!

Imagine if the Vinsmoke bros get therapy or something of the equivalent 🧐

To be able to have human feelings and so to be normal humans.. like they'll actually feel pity, sadness, genuine happiness... Of course It'll take time and a lot of effort and sacrifices from their part, but I believe that if they're triggered from an outside party, like for example with something that reminds them of their mom, they'll understand that something is wrong at least.

What I want to say is, what if Niji (the blue one lmao) the one that threw the plate of food at Cosette, remembers this after/before/in the therapy sessions and actually feels weirdly "negative and so in order to erase this feeling he'll try to do something for her... (in the most awkward and proud way lol) Or at least he tries lmao but instead just develops the fattest crush on her 😭

She on the other hand knows that they're under therapy or at least to be better, so she's just very proud of him and how he's trying to "apologize" (if that even is what he's doing lol) in the most vinsmoke way possible 🥺 I mean why did he order to bring her a butcher's shop's WORTH of meat at like 4am?

Yeah also Judge is dead, they killed him. sike! (with their uncharacteristic kindness of course lmao)

That's it 🌸 Just a little Niji x Cosette moment <3

I'm from the perspective that YES they did AWFUL things to Sanji and to everyone around them, but at the same time they were practically NOT HUMAN, they COULDN'T feel empathy and compassion even if forced to. They are a result of an EXPERT their crazy and sick FATHER did, not them, imo.

That's why I precise the therapy part in the imagine of Niji and Cosette, because otherwise without therapy it'll be such a toxic relationship if we can even call it one. (They're too violent and angry)

Sorry I run at the mouth when I'm excited to explain something 😭

I hope this doesn't bother you in any way!

Please feel free to contradict me or point out anything that you disagree with <3

Have a wonderful weekend! 💐🌸

hi hiii ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა, well, thank you angel 💕 you've got some good vibes too! so sorry, i’ve been meaning to answer this for weeks omg time is unreal. but yesss let’s get into it.

that’s a really interesting scenario; i can see them making attempts to better themselves after everything that’s happened — or, maybe after seeing how well-adjusted sanji is (or, as well adjusted as he can be 😭) and how sanji very adamantly does not want to be like them. i imagine this could partially be the catalyst where they’d tell themselves that if sanji can manage emotions, why can’t they? or, like you said, maybe there’s smth that reminds them of their mom — maybe those memories that they were forced to bury as children steadily resurface? it’s a solid theory tbh, although i’m not sure how much they can rehabilitate at this point — and if they do, i imagine there will be numerous relapses given the nature of their upbringing. still, effort’s effort right?

niji is so interesting to me (i love him i’m so biased); volatile, headstrong, impatient, cruel — so very un-princely, and yet demands to be treated as such lmao i do enjoy terrible characters <3 anyway, for someone who routinely did vile things to cosette (bc what drove him to go after her so much? he was sf extra and i doubt he even knows why he did what he did, or why her presence just…agitated him) i’m sure if he’s unlocking his emotions one by one, he’d be overwhelmed by them. because now he’d feel guilt and shame, and since remorse is not something he’s familiar with, he’d def try to find a way to get rid of it (like u said maybe trying to do things for her). whatever’s the fastest and easiest way tbh.

and, given cosette’s unwavering loyalty to that family, it makes sense that she’d somehow be privy to that information (of the siblings going to therapy or smth) and probably not healthy, she would be proud of them — or would believe that it was genuine on her end. i think she would end up focusing on niji anyway, which might confuse/annoy him more with how his feelings are making it difficult to function. he probably just gets annoyed whenever he remembers that he likes her and that’s such a problem for him (he has things to do yk) but he can’t bring himself to act out like he used to before (probably even gets teased by the others about it, because they’d def take note of any changes happening even if he tried hard to hide it).

judge should be dead!!! i’m writing a strongly worded letter to oda as we speak <.< but yes, the vinsmoke siblings are the worst but they’re unapologetic abt it and they were designed to be that way. anyway, thanks for sending this in <3 i enjoyed thinking abt it and i love niji so now i wanna write fics for him goshhh

i hope your weekend is going great 🥰️🥰️🥰️

[ihatebnha]

You can totally bring up the BookTok stuff later! If it isn’t too much, I’d really love to hear some of the responses because the anons that were already published had really good and interesting points. But obviously do what you’re most comfy with Caitie! Remember to take care of yourself, and I hope your kittens begin to get better. ♥️♥️♥️

ahhh i've already posted some by now, but i still wanted to say thank u SO MUCH for this! i could say a lot of things, but mostly... i'm berry grateful for you + your kindness + your interest in the subject just in general!!! i thought so, too🖤

also... can't rest yet, but the kittens ARE getting better! they say thank u to u, too *//hugs*

[writingfool001]

It's Alright, Everything Will be Fine.

Author's note: This took a while and the other will as well since I was busy with summer school and making sure not to have a breakdown every couple hours. This is for the requester who asked for this, but also self-indulgence bc man, that shit was brutal for me, and it was not good for my health. Also, take care of yourselves and try to remove yourself from situations that give you high levels of emotional stress.

Prompt: Tucking reader's hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Pairing: Malleus X Gn! Reader

Warning: Fluff, gn! Reader, 2nd POV, reader has hair long enough to be tucked, Feeling overwhelmed

Papers scattered everywhere and books piled high at your desk as you read through one of many books needed for your project which you've been working on for the last week and trying to finish all the work before procrastination or exhaustion could hit. You have been cooped up in your room, trying to work while ignoring the small voice in the back of your head saying negative things.

Letting out another heavy sigh, you readjust yourself and tried to start reading where you left off a couple of minutes again before your vision became slightly blurry and you felt your face warming up. You look straight at the wall and take a couple of deep breaths, trying to stop yourself from breaking down, the got up to take a small break from the massive number of things you needed to do. You ignored a majority of the phantom voice that was screaming and picking at your anxiety as you walked away and closed the door behind you. You walk down the hall and the stairs, only the sounds of you footsteps could be heard softly in the silent atmosphere.  

You head towards the front door and go outside, hoping that a small break will help you calm down, before sitting down as tears cascade down your cheeks. You brought your knees to your chest and rested your chin on top of them and bit your tongue in order to silence the cry that wanted to escape from your throat.

No matter how much work you got done, the finish line got moved and became more daunting as your anxiety did not help. You barely ate, slept, and went out due to the constant voice degrading you about how you weren't getting the task down and you were going to fail.

"Good evening my treasure," you froze as your boyfriend's familiar voice broke you from your small isolation.

"Hello Malleus, " you greeted back as you straightened yourself, while your bangs hid your puffy red eyes, and wiped the remaining tears away. "I didn't know you'd be taking a stroll tonight."

"Well, I wanted to check on you since you've been quite busy during this past week." He took a seat next to you, causing you to tense up a bit. "Oh, am I causing you discomfort?"

Fuck, he noticed.

"N-no," You quickly answer, trying to think of something. "Its just a bit chilly and I felt a chill up my spine, it's nothing."

"Well then, let me help you," He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around you before his hand guided you head against his chest. "Feel a bit warmer?"

"Yeah."  

You relaxed a bit against him as you slowly started to melt, enjoying the calming aura of him before the small voice reminded you of your daunting task you left behind.  

"How are your studies?"  

"They're going alright." You spoke softly as your anxiety rose and could feel yourself ready to break down again. You couldn't possibly break down in front of Malleus, who's under way more pressure every day than you are right now. This face before you have to deal with leading a dorm, school, and not to mention, preparing for the crown that would come soon.

You felt your chin rise and a gentle hand brushed against you face as your hair was tucked behind your ears as your puffy tired eyes and few tears were now visible. You were met with an astonished expression from your beloved far as he held your face, gently within his hands and started to wipe away the falling tears.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be breaking down over some stupid school work," you quickly apologized before trying to hide your face but couldn't since Malleus didn't budge.

"My dearest treasure…" He slowly took in your appearance and brought you closer as he engulfed you in a warm embrace, not letting you escape. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed you back as you slowly broke down in the loving embrace of Malleus.  

You don't know how long you two stayed there as you told him about everything happening this week while tears fell from your face. During the entire time, he sat and listened while comforting you. He couldn't bear seeing you in tears and not taking care of yourself, especially after everything you've done.  

"Look at me," He softly spoke before you looked up at him to see his signature soft smile. "I am so proud of you, and you have nothing to worry about because I know how determined you are. Now, you deserve a break without thinking about work."

He gets up and holds your bridal style in his arms before heading in the direction back to Ramshackle, ignoring your questions. You finally accepted defeat once realizing Malleus wasn't going to let you get back to work and rested your head against his shoulder then slowly started falling asleep and felt a soft kiss on your head before you fell into a peaceful sleep.