#sorry i already used this picture I don't feel like going back to generations to get another one

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

#590

"I haven’t seen Star Trek Generations but I’ve read about what happens in it on Memory Alpha and anytime I’m reminded of it (specifically how Kirk dies) it gives me legitimate anxiety. I’m even afraid to go on any Memory Alpha pages that I know are going to mention it. However I still want to watch the movie eventually for curiosity and completionist reasons and I also want to talk about it on my YouTube channel (specifically about how killing him off the way they did was incredibly uninspired, disrespectful to both the character and the entire franchise, and just plain stupid)"

[specshroom]

★~Kirara and Hakari flirting with you~★

(No actual smut but it's steamy so Read More just cus)

It starts with Kirara flirting with you to make Hakari jealous. Not anything serious, she just wanted to see what would happen.

She does this by paying more attention to you, touching you more, complementing you more and just being more flirtatious in general. Hakari knows what she's doing obviously, he does find it amusing that you don't seem to know what's going on.

So one day you're training your technique in the fight club training room and they're just watching from the side on a battered couch. Hakari pulls her onto his lap.

"You don't think I know what you're doing?" He says down at her, lazily stroking his hand up her thigh.

She pouts at him, "I don't know what you're talking about, Kin."

He scoffs and looks over at where you're trying to perfect a specific stance for your technique.

"Didn't even work, That dumbass can't take a hint." He mumbles resting his head back, still watching you.

"Well maybe I should try harder."

Kirara says, staring at the same place her boyfriend is.

"Good luck with that, Babe" he chuckles out patting her thigh.

She huffs at the condescending tone and brings all her attention back to him. "Cmon~ you never thought about it Kin?"

"bout what?" He knows what she's talking about and yes, he definitely has but he wants her to say it.

"bout the three of us..." she trails her slender fingers up his chest, looking up at him with lidded eyes, "Together."

Her fingers trails up his neck as she leaves light kisses there and he slides his hand up under the hem of her shorts to squeeze her ass. He leans back and hums for her to continue. She leans closer to his ear, "You could fuck them while they fuck me, or we could both suck you off." Her hand goes to palm the growing bulge in his pants as he smirks and closes his eyes, imagining the pretty picture she's painting for him. "Or we could fuck and have them watch, or you could both double team me, or we could-"

"OH MY GOD! COULD YOU GUYS NOT FUCK IN FRONT OF ME FOR EVEN A SECOND??!"

They both pause and turn their heads to look at you with wide eyes. You stand there, hands on your hips in your compression shirt and sweatpants. You've been trying to concentrate on your training while the lovers mumble and whisper to each other about whatever.

You've gotten used to feeling like a third wheel being around them so often, living with them, working with them. That doesn't mean it didn't bother you when you look over at them and they're half way to fucking right there!

After a second of silence they both let out light laughs. Both amused at your bothered state and the fact that they'd gotten so distracted with their shared daydream.

"Sorry, Y/n!" Kirara yells back, trying to look apologetic. Hakari grins at you and stands up, hauling Kirara in his arms as he walks out of the training room, a clear destination in mind. Kirara giggles as Hakari kisses her neck, her eyes still on you, waving goodbye as the door closes behind them.

You huff in disbelief, looking around the now empty room, definitely not imagining what your two friends are doing together in their room. You go back to training, trying to ignore the heat building in your lower regions.

After this, the couple gets a lot more touchy in front of you, even more than they already were. They also get more touchy with you. Hakari touches your waist and lower back when he's walking past you, he presses you up against the kitchen counter pretending he's trying to reach something above you. Kirara snuggles up to you on the couch and even gives you "friendly" cheek kisses. They also get much louder when they fuck, their moans and bed squeaking being very audible from your room right next door. Unknown to you, they can also hear the frustrated hushed groans coming from your side of the wall right after they fuck.

Safe to say you're pretty sexually frustrated as you sit on the couch trying to watch TV. The two menaces smirk at each other in the hallway, Hakari pats Kirara on her ass, encouraging her to prance into the living room and plop herself right next to you.

"Hey Y/n, You doing alright?"

She feigns concern, pressing up to your side, arms hugging one of yours.

"I'm fine, why?" You answer, confusion present in the tone.

"Well you just seem kinda...moody." She says leaning her cheek on your shoulder.

"Moody?" You arch a brow at her.

"Yeah, just- I dunno. You seem bothered, pent-up....tense." she starts massaging your arm before she places a hand on your thigh.

"Is there anything I can do?"

She says leaning closer to say it into your ear. That's when you realise what's actually happening.

"Uh No Kira it's alright. I'm f-" As you try to get up she pulls you down again and straddles you. Your wide eyes look into her pretty droopy ones, your hands hover in the air on either side of her waist, not sure what to do.

She runs her hands up your chest and shoulders, lowering herself until she rests her groin on yours. You sigh at the feeling and the way she's looking at you until you snap yourself out of it.

"What about Hakari?" Genuine concern very present in your hushed voice. As annoying as the couple was you didn't want to be the reason a perfectly good relationship ends.

"What about me?" A low voice hums right next to your ear, you were so caught up you didn't even notice Hakari leaning over the back of the couch. You suck in a breath, Is he mad at me? Is he mad at Kirara? Am I a homewrecker? You're so caught up in your panic that it takes you a minute to register Hakari's tone. Not one of anger but instead very amused.

Kirara giggles at your reaction and takes your hands in hers to place them on her bare waist. "Poor Y/n, so frustrated, huh Kin?" She says while softly kissing up your neck along your jaw, her cold piercings making you shiver. She slowly starts to grind down on your crotch. Hakari hums in agreement and gently places a hand around your neck to keep you from squirming away while he slowly kisses and licks down the other side of your neck to your shoulder.

"We can help with that." He says against the skin where your shoulder and neck meet before biting down.

You're soooo fucked.

[mysticheathenn]

Mystery Pick-A-Card Reading

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about whatever the cards have to say. I shuffle the cards and whatever message comes out is your reading. This may be about love, academics, friendship/family, money, or careers. Whatever the cards have to say, will be said.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

Ko-Fi Donations

Next Reading: Patreon Exclusive (I Haven't decided on a topic but if you have suggestions feel free to shoot them, doesn't have to be Patreon-related)

Pile l:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: 7 of Swords, Hanged Man, 10 of Cups, Queen of Wands, 8 of Cups.

*Mr. Roger's Voice* I'm proud of you, I hope you know that (Meme). You are finally putting in the work, you're seeing your beautiful light in moving forward with achieving your goals. If you haven't started moving towards your goals or seeing the beauty in yourself, talents, etc, you soon will be. This energy feels more towards those who are starting to see the light after placing themselves on the bench for so long in not becoming their best version of themselves (don't have to be as many energies are in this reading). This could be anything for you maybe you gave up on yourself and fell into a deep depression, or you are tired of always trying and decided to take a pause. There's something in your energy before seeing the light pile l where you kept yourself in a shell, not moving forever stuck in limbo like the hanged man just waiting for whatever you were going through to pass. The movie Holes comes to mind where the little girl says "I'm tired of this grandpa." You are that little girl, but instead of giving up you are renewing your hope in achieving greatness. With all this cup energy this may have been your emotional health that has been keeping you from achieving your goals. Either way, you will or are finally seeing that anything is possible. You are able to do anything you put your mind to, and you're getting back on the saddle one more time because you are wanting to see yourself win. I get the sense that some of you had an epiphany where you had a dream, vision, a pep talk, something that sparked something in you to get up and do something instead of moping, being depressed, or having pity me moments. You are on your way to achieving your goals, don't stop this time. You have spirit on your side. They aren't going to let you fall. They know how tired you are. Sorry if this is all over the place, my fingers aren't moving as fast as the messages are downloading to me today, haha. I'm getting a last message that for some of you, this isn't even a goal this is more of you just getting out of your shell and seeing your beauty, talent, etc. For others of you, this is also just you getting out of your cacoon (depression, social anxiety, etc) and actually doing more than lying in bed, rotting away the day. You're starting to feel sudden changes within yourself and you are taking things day by day but slowly and surely you are hoping to win the race over your mental and emotional health.

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Your Commitment is Being Tested, Time to Give Rather than Take.

As mentioned above you are finally stepping out and taking a risk and again if you already aren't doing so, this message has probably been either on your mind lately and you have been hesitant or this message is meant to be a pep talk to let you know that whatever effort you put your energy into you will not fail. You falter just a little bit but overall you are meant to achieve and do whatever it is you set your mind to. As the cards say your commitment is being tested. Spirit wants to see just how badly you really want your 10 of cups to happen. What are you willing to do in order to achieve it? What are you willing to overcome to see abundance? How much more can you really take? This is also a time for you to give yourself credit where it is due. Look at how far you have come in life and don't settle or falter back into old patterns, addictions, people who aren't good for you, etc. Keep moving forward.

Pile ll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot:6 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, 10 of Cups, The Magician, 3 of Pentacles

If you are wondering if you are on the right track, I am here to tell you that you are. You may have been questioning something lately whether you're on the right career track, should you eat healthy or continue eating junk, if leaving or getting into a certain relationship was a good idea...whatever it is..this is your sign that everything is working out in your favor and you are on the right track. Keep going. This feels like a continuation of Pile l but not in the sense that this is a part of it but more so if Pile l continued to show up for themselves Pile ll your reading would re-assure them that everything is on schedule and they will soon reap what they are about to sow. 3 of pentacles is all about achievement, artistry, recognition, etc whatever you have been working on will finally pay off and end a cycle of constant stress and financial hardship. Especially with the 6 of pentacles where you will soon have enough for not only yourself but to help out those you care about as well. For some of you, it has been your dream to "pay back" your parents, friends, etc, or just show those who have shown you love the same love they have shown you through gifts, money, etc and you haven't always had that unfortunately and it's made you feel some type of way sometimes. Soon you will be able to give more as you continue to receive more. For others of you this isn't even about wanting to treat others but more so yourself. You have been working hard and all you want to do is bask in the sense of peace, and financial stability, and maybe even travel. Overall hard times are ending and the party will soon be getting started pile ll.

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: Take time to breathe out, A time for healing, emotions are running high

Anxiety and stress I sense is an all-time high for this pile. You have been stressing about what if this isn't going to work. What if I did all of this work for nothing? What if everyone who said I was crazy or doubted me ended up being right? Just as your cards say...take a deep breath in and out, take a walk somewhere, meditate, do yoga, anything that makes you feel relaxed. For some of you killing people in Sims 4 makes you relaxed or doing puzzles. Either way, take a step back for just a small second of your day and find your center to refocus your mind on things that are worthy of being focused on. Change your mindset from what ifs, negativity, etc, and change them to telling yourself how abundant you are, how grateful you are to even be in the position you are in being able to go after it is that you want, etc. Once you are done with all of that then keep going. Make sure you are taking time out of your day to remind yourself that you are doing a great job, you will end up where you are headed, and you have faith in yourself and the unknown. You are human and not a machine. Yes the grind doesn't stop, can't stop, won't stop. But you also need to make sure you are taken care of first before anything.

Pile lll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: 3 of Wands, The Sun, 2 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, 7 of Swords (reversed)

You are a continuation of pile ll's extra messages pile lll. It's okay to pop out and see the sun every once in a while to take a breath of fresh air to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason (if you believe in that) and everything is going to work out. Whatever it is that has been troubling you it's not the end of the world. Even on stormy days the sun still peaks out through the clouds to let you know that sunny skies are ahead. Find your balance when you go through stormy days pile lll. You take everything as if it is a matter of life or death. You may be considered a serious person if not a serious person, life has been putting you through the wringer that you probably have so many stress lumps in your back and need a massage. Get out of your head once in a while and stop getting carried away with all of your thoughts. This message may be everywhere and it's mostly because you are just worried, bombarded with so many thoughts, etc everyone has a different situation so I am trying to make sure I get as much info as I can into this reading without it being 8 pages. I'm hearing "Stop letting your circumstances control you." You may tend to be the type of person who as soon as things don't go right or as planned your mood sours or if someone says something ignorant, rude, or dumb you instantly go into full rage, annoyance, etc. Find your center in not letting the small things, people, etc get to you so easily. My sister legit put herself in a self-induced coma because she let her surroundings, people, etc stress her out to the point her body couldn't handle it (she's fine now this happened 10 yrs ago, haha). Make sure you are feeding yourself good things not just food-wise but speaking positively to yourself. The things you watch, read, and listen to...make sure these things are feeding the part of you that needs to be nourished. Create a gratitude journal and list the many things you are grateful for...this can be as small as Starbucks creating pumpkin spice lattes. You have time. Everything is going to be okay. Also, this may be for only a few of you but stop watching rage-bating videos on TikTok. For others of you the last message I am receiving is you don't feel great about your circumstances, living situation, etc....know that this too shall pass. Find the silver lining through all the bullshit that is happening in your life. I know it's hard..but as mentioned it could be something as tiny as not having kids, cancer, or dying (even if you have your days when you wish you would).

Extra Messages: Moonology Oracle Deck: A fiery climax approaches, Meditate and contemplate, Don't let your past hold you back.

For your fiery climax approaches card I am sensing a release in emotions pile lll. You may have been feeling a lot of pent-up emotions and some of you may find it hard to release your emotions or you keep everything bottled up because of trauma either way a release is on its way to you in the healing process that you very much needed. Remember when I said to feed the parts of you that needs to be nourished with the things you watch, read, eat, and listen to...this is a season of healing. Pile lll....this is what I am feeling with your extra messages cards...this season you are entering you are healing parts of you, you didn't realize needed to be healed. Something is going to set of the chain reaction for this process of you being more conscious of the people you are around, eat, read, etc.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

Next Reading: Patreon Related (I Haven't decided on a topic but if you have suggestions feel free to shoot them,doesn't have to be Patreon-related)

[coralinnii]

It’s Him or Grim…and It’s Grim 

Ignoring him to take care of Grim feat: Sebek · Azul · Jade · Riddle genre: fluff note: gn!reader, no pronouns are used, relationships up to interpretation, some of the TWST boys basically taking the L or getting catblocked, 

piece of advice, never bring someone like me to an animal cafe for a date cuz I will ignore you. Also, don't question why I keep changing the banners. I just love messing with pictures of our handsome TWST boys <3

Sebek didn’t say it out loud but he was excited over you visiting him during his club activities. He’s proud to show off his skills on his steed and present his knightly appearance to you. 

Unfortunately, he’s not doing too well when he’s constantly getting into screaming contests with an uninvited guest…Grim 

He didn’t know why he was so surprised though. He should have predicted that wherever you intend to go, the cat-shaped menace will surely follow in curiosity and make a ruckus while he’s here. 

“Nyah, I can ride these crazy horses no problem!” 

“I will not allow it. Beginners need to learn the basics before even attempting to-“ 

Before Sebek could finish, Grim already went ahead and climbed on top of a nearby horse. But, your feline companion accidentally pressed his claws too deeply into the poor horse’s skin and spooked the large animal. 

“Grim!” You screamed when you saw your dormmate being pushed off the horse’s back and landing on his head. You ran to his side while Sebek did his best to calm the horse before it started to run amuck and cause more issues. 

Sebek wanted to scold the reckless cat monster for his actions but he bit his tongue and sighed in exasperation instead since it looked like the konk on the head left Grim feeling woozy. 

“I should bring Grim to the infirmary” you worriedly look at your companion as you cradle his body in your arms. “I’ll see you another time, Sebek. I’m so sorry for disturbing your club time” 

Sebek panicked over your departure, telling you that you could just come back after bringing Grim to the infirmary. He planned so many things today for you, to introduce you to his trusted steed, show off his horse riding skills, and maybe even let you ride with him. 

But you had to decline, wanting to stay by Grim’s side until he feels better. You gave an apologetic smile before you took off with Grim in your arms. You missed the look of utter defeat on the lime-haired freshman. You managed to get out of earshot as Sebek started shouting to himself, declaring to learn from his defeat against that cursed cat. His clubmates however did hear him loud and clear, Riddle looking over in confusion and Silver silently rooting for his fellow knight-in-training. 

“I admit my loss in this battle but I will prevail in our next encounter, Grim. I swear on my honor!”

Azul plans ahead in everything, be it his next business venture or a deal to be made��and definitely when meeting you. He wanted the most optimal results from this meeting he planned with you. He made sure he reserved the best spot in his restaurant that showcases him in the best lighting, the food is to your taste and the ambience sets the mood to his satisfaction. He took everything into consideration. But of course, things don't always go the way he wanted to.

Like Grim coming along with you to your engagement with him. 

“I’m sorry, Azul. Grim was bored in the dorms and Ace and Deuce had make-up classes today” you apologized, Grim in your lap as he gobbled the food Azul had picked out for you. “I hope it doesn’t inconvenience you too much” 

“Of course not,” He lied. “I’m more than generous enough to extend hospitality for even surprise visitors” 

“I gotta hand it to ya, Octavanilla guy! Your food is super delish!” Grim offers his compliments. “I can’t get enough of it!” 

Grim really couldn’t. He ordered seconds and thirds (RIP to your wallet) and didn’t stop himself from practically inhaling the food the moment it reached the table. It was a real mood killer for Azul. The silver-haired entrepreneur couldn’t find his opening and soon he’s left to watch you from the sidelines as your focus was solely on the fattened cat who is grumbling in your lap. 

“Nyahhhh…my tummy hurts~” Grim cried as his stomach ached. You let out a sigh as you did your best to soothe the monstrous feline. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s because you just ate your weight in food” you quipped which earned a weak whine from Grim. 

Azul just couldn’t believe his plan went to ruins by simply adding Grim into the equation. Any attempt for your attention is ripped away by Grim’s loud munching or simply you turning away from his gaze to reprimand the messy feline as you cleaned his dirty face. 

He needs a new plan, and a contingency plan should anything like today happen again. He needs back ups to distract him, perhaps Kalim- 

“Azul” your voice snapped him out from his thoughts. “I might need some money after how much Grim ate today. Do you think I could pick up some shifts in the lounge?” 

Oh, Azul could work with that. 

“Oh no, it seems that Grim has left you in quite a predicament. Come, vent your woes to me”

Jade was excited to show his treasured terrarium collection to you. It would be delightful if you were to grow to share his interest caring for these fascinating flora, something only you and he would share in this whole campus. Imagine…Just you and him alone together, standing close to each other as you admire his projects. 

Well, that’s what he imagined…but often fantasies do not match reality as he was not alone with you as he had hoped. 

“These are some funky lookin’ mushrooms ya got here” Grim narrowed his eyes on one of the colorful mushrooms that seems to have just fully matured. “Henchhuman, you think they’re edible?” 

“I personally don’t think so but you should ask Jade” you turned to Jade, the first time in a while he would add if he were the petty type. But of course he wasn’t. 

“I believe so but I have yet to test my theory on that” Jade smiled down at the small creature which sent shivers down his back. “Are you volunteering yourself for a taste test?”

“Nyah, as if!” Grim yelled out as he backed away from the menacing aura Jade was exuding. In his panic, the monster student accidentally ran his paw over a pair of scissors which snagged his fur and pulled from his skin painfully. Grim let out a painful yelp which made you rush over to your dormmate’s side, worriedly looking over your friend. “Grim, what happened?” 

“My beautiful fur! It got cut!” Grim made an inaccurate assumption but to his defense, it did sting really bad and you could see some of his fur on the pair of scissors. So, you proceeded to check over Grim’s paw for any wounds. 

Jade stood in the sidelines as he watched you handle the monster’s paw, gently sweeping the fur to check for any blood, even blowing on it to ease the poor creature’s pain. The eel merman slightly drooped his shoulders, this was his loss. 

Walking over, Jade picked up the offending scissors that caused all this fuss. His heterochromatic eyes inspected the tool as he admitted that it was getting dull and he should replace them soon or something like this may occur again… Oh? 

You heard something fall behind you which made you turn to know the source. You saw the pair of scissors that Jade picked up back on the floor and your ocean-haired senior was holding one of his hands in the other. “Jade?” 

“Oh dear, it seems that I have accidentally nicked myself as well” Jade looked at you with his best pleading eyes, holding his hand towards you. “Could you help me?” 

“…can’t you do it yourself?” 

“Ah, it hurts quite a bit I don’t think I could focus enough to check my wound” Jade sighed as he clutched his poor hand in his own. He looked to you with pleading eyes and despite your suspicions, you accepted to help your senior and carefully took Jade’s “injured” hand into your own. With your eyes focusing on searching for this supposed wound, Jade smiled as he shared a glance with Grim behind you which scared the poor creature. 

“It seems I have quite the challenge on my hands. How interesting” 

Riddle worked up the courage to invite you to spend the day with him alone and when you accepted, he made sure that everything was perfect. Only Trey was aware of your intimate outing since he offered to take up any non-urgent Housewarden work during Riddle’s day with you so no one else was aware that you and Heartslabyul's leader were meeting. 

Everything was going smoothly, albeit a little stiff in the beginning. Riddle was shocked by how nervous he was. The teacup in his hand was shaking in his grip as he sat just across from you from the small table. 

Eventually the atmosphere settled and soon the two of you relaxed and chatted over trivial topics, enjoying each other’s presence over anything. But alas, good things must come to an end, but not in the way Riddle had planned. Instead, your date was interrupted when the two of you heard a loud call of your name from a distance, from a very familiar voice

“Henchhuman, you went ahead and got grub without me?!” Grim accused you, immediately climbing onto your lap without your complaint. This was his natural seat after all. Then, more voices were heard coming close.

“Grim, there you are. Don’t run off like that- Ahh Housewarden!” Like a storm, Ace and Deuce walked into the once private space while running after Grim then froze in place when they noticed their senior, who seemed to be a really bad mood right now. “Sorry, Housewarden. Grim said he smelled something good and went running over” 

Apparently, Grim was getting hungry and since Ace and Deuce were short on money, the cat-like monster went on the hunt for any morsel of food and caught a whiff of the tarts Riddle had prepared. However, mere tidbits of sweets were not enough to satiate this monster’s blackhole of an appetite. 

“Let’s go to the shop, I want fancy tuna tonight!” Grim whined to you, lightly clawing at your shirt. 

Riddle wanted to scold the furry student for being shameless in his demands but you reassured the redheaded senior that this is a common occurrence, considering you were in charge of handling the allowance you receive from Crowley so Grim tends to ask you to buy things for him. 

“We can go see if Sam has any in stock” you smiled at your gluttonous dormmate then looking to Riddle “I’m sorry, Riddle. I had fun today but we should get going before Sam’s shop closes” 

Riddle, stunned in the sudden shift in his plans, could only offer a nod as you let Grim yank you away to walk faster towards the merchant’s store. He wanted to walk you home and perhaps invite you to another engagement with him. But in the end, he was left in your dust with his other Heartslabyul dormmates and very awkward silence. 

Though three students quickly turned to one as Ace and Deuce silently snuck away from the scene. After being in the Queen of Hearts-inspired house for a while, they can when to book it lest they want to be collared by their hot-tempered Housewarden. 

“I was caught off-guard by that surprise…I will take this as a learning experience for the future”    

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Nonsense*

————————————————————————-

Summary: A coupon book you give Joe for Christmas as a joke turns into you doing something completely out of your comfort zone.

Warnings: Smut

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Everlasting Love

————————————————————————-

December 29, 2023

(y/n’s pov)

Sitting in bed, bored.

Seems like all I've been doing since I got back to Athens.

I missed Joe with every fiber of my being. I would give so much just to be able to reach out and touch his soft skin, his blonde locks, and feel the warmth his body emitted.

It was later in the night, ten o'clock.

Joe was probably asleep already, but he hadn't texted me yet saying goodnight.

Maybe he just got busy, I thought.

My thoughts started wandering. I was getting nervous about why Joe hadn't texted me all evening.

Almost as if he could read my mind before I got too worried, Joe texted me.

Hey, baby. You're prob asleep but I'm sorry I'm just getting to you now. I was over at Sam’s and my phone died. He was being a dick and wouldn't let me use his charger for some reason.

Anyways, goodnight, I love you.

I laughed slightly at his text, able to picture Sam arguing with Joe because he didn't want him using his charger.

I'm awake actually. Sam’s stupid btw, and I love you too.

Watching the bubbles pop up quickly, it was just a few seconds later when Joe texted back.

Since you're awake, wanna ft?

Sure!

Seconds later Joe’s name showed up on my screen and I immediately accepted the call.

I was met with Joe’s smiling face when the call connected. He was lying in bed shirtless, curls slightly wet while leaning against the headboard.

“Hi, baby.” - Joe grinned

Immediately, I recognized how deep his voice was. His voice generally dropped an octave when he was tired or aroused, and right now, I had a feeling it could be both.

“Hi, Joey. What are you up to?” - you

“Lying here in bed, thinking about you and how much I want you in this bed.” - Joe

After giggling at his admission, Joe continued.

“I was just thinking about your week here, and then I started thinking about sex… and that coupon book you gave me.” - Joe groaned

“You are insatiable, Joe.” - you giggled

“Fuck… I want you so bad right now.” - Joe

“Well, you're two hours away.” - you

“I swear, I'm always the horniest when you're away. It's like my dick’s betraying me.” - Joe

I absolutely snorted, laughing at his confession.

“I’m sorry it's like that and that I can't do anything to help you, baby.” - you

“Not your fault. I just can't stop thinking about you… and being inside of you.” - Joe

“If it makes you feel any better… I think about you all the time. Wish I could suck you off through Facetime.” - you giggled

“Shit, don't say that.” - Joe

“Why not?” - you grinned

“I’m getting super fucking hard right now. I'm just trynna wait for my hard-on to go away, but that's not possible if you keep saying things that make my dick twitch.” - Joe

“Boy, you're feeling very blunt tonight.” - you laughed

“Sorry… I know I get whiney when I'm horny. If I get too annoying just hang up.” - Joe

“You’re not being annoying. Not wrong about the whiney part, though. Like I said, if I could help you I would.” - you

Joe sat for a second, looking like he was deep in thought.

Out of nowhere, he got that ‘lightbulb!’ Look on his face and sat up on the bed with a grin.

“What if there was a way you could?” - Joe

“What are you saying?” - you

“Can I cash in a coupon virtually?” - Joe

I thought for a second. I mean, I didn't want to make him wait to use them just when I was in Cincinnati.

“Yeah, I guess.” - you

“Fuck yeah!” - Joe

Giggling at Joe as he fist-punched the air and did a little dance, I waited to see which one he wanted to use.

“Remember you can only use one a day.” - you

“Oh, I know. I only need one.” - Joe

“Which one do you want to cash in, baby?” - you

Joe flicked through the little booklet, trying to find the one he wanted.

“Ooo! I quote… extra sexy lap dance.” - Joe

I gave him a “what?” look but he only grinned devilishly. His tongue poked out as he bit down on it.

“Joe, how am I gonna give you a lap dance when you're two hours away?” - you laughed

“Just do it right here, on call.” - Joe

A few seconds of silence passed, his cheeky smile oddly convincing.

“Okay.” - you

“Yes!” - Joe yelled

“I’ll be right back, I have to change and grab my speaker.” - you

——

I turned my camera back on once everything was set up. I already had a routine planned for a song and everything, but doing this over the phone would be so different.

Having to essentially dance and grind on my bed, pretending it was Joe.

“You ready?” - you

“So fucking ready.” - Joe

Pressing play on Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter, I immediately started moving my hips in the most sensual way possible.

Just pretend you're in a club, performing for Joe.

Hearing Joe make a strangled noise gave me more confidence, he's enjoying this.

A few seconds later, I straddled the bed and started paying attention to the phone.

“Can I touch myself? Please?” - Joe

“Go ahead.” - you purred

Joe slid his hand down his pants and immediately wrapped it around his hard length.

“Fuck.” - Joe grunted

He was trying to match the movement of my hips with the slow pumps of his hand.

I could tell he was conflicted between closing his eyes or not. With his eyes closed, he could easily pretend it was my hand jerking him off, but he wanted to watch me.

A minute in, a third of the way through the song, Joe was moaning loudly.

“You… are so… goddam pretty.” - Joe groaned

Just a few seconds later, Joe abruptly pulled his hand out of his pants, and I heard the waistband snap against his stomach.

“I have to stop, I can’t cum yet…” - Joe breathed heavily

I stopped moving around, but Joe didn't like that one bit.

“Not you! Keep going, baby!” - Joe

Moments passed as I watched Joe bite on his lower lip, slowly rubbing over his bulge with his palm.

“Joe, there's a minute left of the song. You might wanna start back up.” - you

So he did. Joe immediately moved his hand back down his pants and pumped his cock faster than before.

“Good Girl, baby.” - Joe moaned

Joe’s head fell back as his chest started heaving, sweat dancing over his bare torso.

“Fuck! I'm gonna cum!” - Joe

“Joe, please take your shorts off. I wanna watch you.” - you

He immediately did my bidding.

I watched Joe lift his hips and pull his shorts down with one hand, never once letting go of his erection.

Joe grabbed his phone and brought it closer to his cock to give me a better view of one of my favorite parts of him.

“See what… you fucking- do to me?” - Joe

He was right. The entire shaft was beet red as his tip was wet from the precum constantly leaking out.

I watched his cock throb one last time before a loud moan left Joe’s lips, and he shot his load onto his hand and stomach.

“Shit…” - Joe hissed

Joe dropped his phone face down onto the bed, his screen was pitch black but I could still hear soft whimpers in his breath.

Pausing my music and getting under the covers of my bed, I got comfortable before checking on Joe.

“You okay, Joey?” - you

“Mhm. I'm just cleanin’ up.” - Joe

“Okay.” - you hummed

A minute later, Joe crawled into bed and picked up his phone.

One thing I loved about Joe was his post-orgasm expression. He always had this delirious smile with tired, hooded eyes.

“You want me to dance while you get off?” - Joe

“Babe, I love you, but I don't think head bobbing and the airplane is gonna help me out much in that department.” - you laughed

“What about my get the gat dance?” - Joe

I snorted when Joe formed a gun with his hand and did a little move with it.

“If you have the cigar, then yes.” - you giggled

Joe went to say something but when he opened his mouth the only thing that came out was a yawn.

“Noted.” - Joe finally said when his yawn was over

We just sat there for a moment, staring at each other with smiles on our faces.

“You seem pretty tired, baby.” - you

“After that orgasm? Yes. I don't think I've ever come that hard from jerking off.” - Joe

“It’s my effect on you, huh?” - you joked

“For real.” - Joe yawned again

“Goodnig-” - you

“Wait… can we just stay on FaceTime? I wanna fall asleep with you.” - Joe

“Of course.” - you

Butterflies erupted in my stomach as Joe placed his phone on the pillow next to his, the one I was sleeping on last week.

“Goodnight, y/n. I love you.” - Joe

“Goodnight, Joe. I love you too.” - you

A few minutes passed by and I heard his light snores through my phone speaker, causing me to smile.

I thought about hanging up, but instead plugged my phone in on my nightstand.

Though I wouldn't physically be falling asleep next to Joe, I knew he was with me.

And with him is where I wanted to always be.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: I was super hyped to write this idk why 💀

Request for this fic; I kinda tweaked it but it's still generally the same idea!

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[privitivium]

subtop!teacher x dombot!student reader :3, i have a huge thing for my teacher and my thirst needs to be quenched (bonus points if he has a wife already MWHAHAHAH) PLEASE I WANNA RIDE THEM TILL THEIR DUMBBBB 🤲🤲🥰

i wrote teacher as a sweet-ish nice guy,,,  sry if it's a little sloppy im a bit behind hnngh

cw;; age gap, reader is 18, mr is 24. reader bullies teacher, unhealthy relationship in general. guy keeps you way after school hours. guy is referred to as teacher

amab subtop teacher x amab dombot student reader 

humming to yourself as you sit at your desk - third row from the front, staring ahead and chewing on your pencil... so bored. nothing interesting going on.. you groan aloud, before trying to make conversation with a friend.. teacher passing down the aisle, coincidentally stopping you from doing so.. you wink playfully, teeth biting at your bottom lip as he passes. he immediately looks away, clearing his throat; cheeks growing ruddy... wordlessly, passing you a slip that merely said "detention." so eager!! you grin, biting at your pencil, blood shooting to your cock. gotta wait it out.. but.. then again, it's too easy to hide, wearing a large jacket that so happened to belong to him.. no one would suspect such a thing!

neither would they suspect him keeping a tube of fucking lube in his desk, just to be able to fuck you nice and politely as he should after hours... he's a sensitive guy, you can't help but fuck with him, bullying him so cruelly about his wife knowing about him fucking into his sweet student.. having him finger you, dutifully and utterly focused on the task - making sure to feel and prod around, rubbing the pads of his lubed up digits along your prostate- yelping as you grip the edge of his desk; walls squeezing around his fingers, twitching - "t-that's it.. good-.. good boy.." the nickname, joking originally, but it stuck... using it just to get him hard in the middle of class - obviously, he tries getting back at you, but it never works in his favor. you were too naturally cruel... and he was too tapped into his emotions.. "i guess teacher put his big boy pants on huh?" while thumbing the slit of his cock; plugging it up,,,

sitting over him - no reason to fear being caught; door locked, window covered in paper mache coincidentally. aiming the tip of his weeping, bulbous tip into your lubed up finger-stretched taint... he grabs hold of the base of his cock, so kind, so eager to please this delinquent-like student he was having a relationship with so pathetically... lowering yourself steadily onto him, heaving as you allow yourself to slide down his member - too easy.. yet, the way your walls sting; sretching to accomodate his size as usual, god it was so good.. if only you could just feel that. your own prick, dribbling pre, resting against your teachers abdomen; your hands resting on his shoulders; hison your hips - shakily breathing as he admires you, u-ugh, his cock throbbing inside you.. "uagh.. don't look at me like that.." you complain, tensing around his cock - face growing warm. shy..

"s-sorry." he apologizes mutely, lowering his gaze to instead admire your cock. leaking,, twitching... pressing against his dress shirt that he should probably take off before you cum on it.. but he likes wearing your marks with pride. but... still, he's trying to go through things with his wife... n-no matter. It's all about you... his gentle, soft palms tracing over the plump of your ass as you slowly begin rocking yourself on his girth, so eager to ride out your high... "mhm.. how does it feel, huh teacher? feels good, huuh?" you hum, breathless and ever so teasing as you grind downward so cruelly against his trimmed pubes.. using him for your pleasure. trying to tease him.. "of course it does, look at you... you're practically crying.." you scoff..

"good.. good.. great.. y-you're so great.. beautiful.." he'd whimper - drooling, the same song and dance as per usual... always having the picture of his wife in his desk - utterly focused on you and hiw your gummy walls tensed around his veiny cock, squeezing so good.. biting his lip til it bleeds; resisting the urge to fuck into you like a madman against his desk... uaghh.. you have something different in mind rather than just riding him slow-like... biting your lip, tugging at the skin as you steady yourself, legs straddling him on his loser wheely chair, hands at his shoulders, close to his neck, nearly choking himㅡ

slamming yourself down on his cockㅡeagerly, too excited as you grind downward with every drag, unable to contain your soft moans as you feel his cum and lube dribbling passed the barrier of that of his cock.. soft gasps, mixed in with his garbled wails of shock and pleasure, writhing as he reaches to hold your hips, guiding you gently - making him into a whiny ass messy freak splayed out with a limp cock drenched in his own cum, sitting in his chair... it was too good not to take a picture.. obviously for safe keeping and material to jerk off to.. and to take a video of you doing so. to send it to him.

;; "goodness.. your tips' already so leaky, man.." you point out the onvious, finding it humorous in doing so. tapping at the slit of his fat, average cock. trimmed up nicely, a vein crawling along the side and disappearing upwards.. seems like he keeps it nice for someone. obviously his wife, but OBVIOUSLY you were going to torture him for this. "isn't it crazy how you're letting me touch you like this? come on, i thought you had a little more restraint. fucking creep." you hissed, a malicious grin spreading across your face as you sat gracefully between his legs, glaring up at him with narrowed eyes. "your curls all trimmed up, who you looking nice for?" you grunt softly, hands grazing downward down his twitching cock - his dip darkened in a flush. aching.. you could only assume. squirming, rubbing your thighs together as you finger the small curls sprouting - "huh? is it for me, teacher? you lookin all pretty for lil ol me, aren't you!"

".. yes.." he admits, voice so damn quiet you nearly missed it if it wasn't for the way his cock twitched, pearling pre-cum - catching your attention. your eyes darting up to find his already staring at you. ".. it's for you.." he continues, unable to bring his voice an octave higher... so sensitive, his chest heaving as he stares at you, wide-eyed, hair all messy...

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember Day 11: Attitude Adjustment/IQ Reduced

It was like she couldn't get the words out fast enough. "And I have 6 discharges tomorrow with no follow up scheduled yet and I haven't even been able to contact some of the families and..."

"Is there anything you can do about any of that tonight?" he asked her, gently stopping the torrent of her work recap.

"No. But! I still need to eat dinner. And wash some clothes for tomorrow. And make sure the kids are ok...."

"Shh," he said comfortingly. "I've already washed and folded the clothes. And I told the kids mommy was working late so they're already asleep. You're done for the day."

She sighed deeply.

He put his hand on her cheek, gently moving her head so she was looking directly into his eyes. "Relaaaax," he said, stretching the word out meaningfully. His tone shifted too, to something deep and steady. "You're home. You're safe. Just relax, now."

It had been a while since she heard him speak like this. She missed it.

Too bad it wouldn't work. She was way too stressed. She almost felt herself get caught in his gaze for a moment but- then her anxiety rushed back in, like a wave crashing over a too-short wall.

His hand moved around to rub the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just so stressed I can't THINK it's like I try and it's just STATIC in my head. I sat in the parking lot for 5 minutes before I could even make myself drive home."

"Mmmmm," he murmured, still rubbing her neck. "Breathe, honey."

He breathed in and out slowly to demonstrate. She found herself following along, taking a few deep breaths before even thinking about it. Between the breathing and his light neck massage, she was beginning to feel better.

He made sure he had her gaze before offering- "If you want, I could make things simpler for you for a bit. Would you like that?"

A shiver ran through her at the sound of her old trigger- "simpler". It had been some time since they had done this but they both understood what he was offering. Would it still work?

She nodded her head but didn't want to disappoint him or herself- not after so long.

"I want to? But I honestly don't know how I'll respond," she said, "I can barely concentrate right now."

But even as she was protesting, she found herself automatically following his hand as it floated just above her forehead. Another of their old signals, this one nonverbal: "Pay attention".

She did.

His fingers came closer and closer to her forehead before finally touching, rubbing a small spiral right in the middle.

"Shhhhh...." his voice soothed.

Something inside her shifted.

It wasn't a quick, profound drop like she had experienced in the past but- she found herself instinctively closing her eyes anyway. When she did, the noise in her head seemed to quiet down automatically.

"Good," he said. "That's perfect. You remember just how to do this, don't you? I know you do. It's like riding a bicycle - part of you never forgets."

"I know you talked about having static in your head- but maybe we can use that to help you let go a bit more. Static doesn't have to be harsh, you know. Maybe your static is like- a white noise generator, blocking anything unnecessary out. Quiet and soothing. Like the one you listen to when you go to sleep. Just- think of that gentle static playing while you sleep. Helping you rest. You can notice it- and then you can let it all fade into the background. It just makes everything quieter, doesn't it? Simpler. "

She nodded her head, easily caught in his instructions. The shudder that went through her at the trigger felt more profound this time.

Simpler.

She remembered the old imagery they had worked on- the wheels of the clockwork of her thoughts slowing. Slowing. Grinding to a halt.

As she pictured those slowing gears, she could feel her inner monologue growing distant and dreamlike. Her awareness moved from her lumbering thoughts to her body- almost like her mind itself had moved from her head to somewhere in her chest. Her senses began heightening and she was drawn more and more to what the room smelled like, how the carpet felt, the gentle sound of the ceiling fan. She found herself getting lost in a world of sensation.

"That's good, honey," he encouraged. "You don't need to think right now. I've got all your bigger thoughts for safekeeping. You remember how to be simpler for me, don't you? No big words, no big thoughts. Just how you feel in this moment. OK?"

She nodded. It was the easiest way to communicate now. She still had some words but- it was easier not to use them when she was simpler. She trusted him to understand what she needed without bothering to speak.

"Good. Can you open your eyes for me?"

She did.

"How does your body feel right now?" he asked.

She checked- mentally scanning herself from head to toe.

"Tired," she replied eventually. "Hungry."

She looked up at him.

"Do you want some food?"

It took her a few moments to contemplate the thought before she eventually replied with a simple: "Yes".

He smiled at her in a way that might have struck her as patronizing at a different time.

His smile caused an unexpected spike in another sensation- one that had been hiding underneath all of her stress all along.

Until now.

"I'm going to warm dinner up- we'll have it here," he was saying. "I'll be right back."

"Wait!" she cried, suddenly.

He stopped and turned back, curiously.

Now she needed to find words again.

Her brows crossed as she tuned into her body in that slow, deep way that came with this state. There was a heat between her legs that spread upwards as she noticed it more thoroughly. She began to notice the feeling of the air on her arms and the slight way her bra rubbed against her breasts when she breathed. "Horny?" she said, finally finding the right word for how she was feeling.

He laughed. "Good girl. Yeah- that old conditioning is still working for you, huh? I bet you feel horny right now. Does it feel good?"

She nodded, that response coming much more quickly than most.

It DID feel good.

Without really thinking about it, her hands moved to her right breast, squeezing it.

THAT felt even better.

"Mmmm- I guess that's my answer then, huh?" he asked. "Tell you what- you need to eat before we do anything else. So- I'm going to go get the food. But while I'm doing that? You can touch yourself as much as you want. Do whatever feels good to your body, ok?"

She nodded again, barely paying attention to his words. Her hands moved all over her flesh as she caressed her newly sensitive skin rapturously. She wanted to touch everywhere.

"My only rule is that you don't come, ok? I want to save that for later."

She nodded absently, focused on a wonderful spot she had found on the side of her stomach. Part of her brain was receiving his instructions but- she didn't have to think about that part. She just had to focus on touching.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "And stay nice and quiet while you touch, yeah? We don't want to wake anyone else up."

She nodded, biting back a moan as her hand finally slid to her pussy.

He looked on for a moment, seeming almost hypnotized himself by his writhing, almost animalistic wife.

Food first, he reminded himself.

Then sex.

Then putting a note in his phone to call the babysitter for her weekend availability. It had been FAR too long since they had played like this and next time?

He wanted her to be LOUD.

Tagging @mentat101posts @thekinkycocktailclub @jam-and-stuff

[factual-fantasy]

18 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🎪

@pink088

Guuuuurl does it look like I missed the boops? XDD

(I DID miss the super boops and revenge boops tho. I was trashed on the couch and stuck on mobile all day so I wasn't able to send any back to anyone💔💔)

Uhhhmm... oh jeez lemme try to remember-- I'm assuming you mean the order I got everyone in the game..?? Cuz other than the goofy little comics I've been drawing there isn't much of a story beyond that-

Uhhh so I started with Midori(Sprigatito) obviously, thennn... I think I caught Grim(Gastly).. then I caught Gloria(Ralts). Thenn..... arrhrhhgh I thiiiink I went looking for eevees, but I found Anastasia(Shiny Kricketot) in the process and kept her. Then I picked one of the eevees I caught at random and kept him. Then lastly I found a Mareep(Bonnie) by surprise and kept her.

My memory is very poor but I thiiink that's mostly accurate <XDD If I misunderstood your question don't be afraid to send another ask! 😅

@pbjfox37147878

Sorry, I don't take requests.. But hey! You already got a solid concept going and some artistic talent, you can always make it yourself for free! :0

Not really.. I've had a surprising number of uncomfortable experiences with the fandom recently so I've decided to take a step back from Octonauts for a while..

@psype

:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like them! :}}

And yeah that's how I pictured her XDD its becuase I use her the most out of all my Pokémon-

Now she's not bossy and doesn't have a leader or "I'm better that you guys" complex, none of that! She's just very intelligent and usually very level headed and calm. I can imagine that she's gotten the team safely through a lot of complicated situations and her plans/advice have rarely led the group astray.

Plus since I use her so often, I like to think that she's one of the most powerful Pokémon on the team. If not the most powerful. So whenever the group was met with a great danger, Gloria was probably the one to rescue them <XD

So the whole group kind'a gravitates behind her and lets/wants her to take the lead most of the time. Especially when things get complicated or dangerous!

@nerdyskullcap (User in ask)

I took a peek at their blog, but I couldn't find any original art of the Conductor after quite a while of scrolling through that tag.. I only found reblogs of other peoples Conductor comics.. <:(

XD That description of Gloria is very fitting! I use her the most out of all my Pokémon and she rarely loses! XDD

This was a cool read, and hey! Some of my Pokémon have some of those attacks! :000 Gloria has draining kiss and Bonnie has discharge! :D

@cat7890

I'd like to think they've never fought before.. maybe some little bickering on a bad day, but never anything serious.

They have good communication and just generally get along really well and like a lot of the same things. So there's rarely conflict between them! :0

Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you like my artwork! :}}

As for your question.. I'm afraid I don't understand/cant explain it--

Lets say I wanna draw Mario. I imagine what the drawing might end up looking like in my head, what pose I'll draw him in and what colors I'll use.. And then I just.. draw it. It might not look exactly like what I pictured but its probably close enough.

If that doesn't answer your question, I'm afraid I either don't understand your question or this is just an art thing that I don't know how to explain. <:( Sorry, feel free to send another ask with more specifics if you have them!

@sleep-deprived-fr3ak

If Bill ever became a lawyer? All hope is lost XDD

@raven-bearden-the-interviewer42

I haven't really thought about the details of the crews travels and adventures.. but I'm sure that when Louis got cursed and became a crab monster? That was probably pretty memorable XD

Probably this one honestly <XD I cant think of anything more cursed off the top of my head-

@fawncr33k

I suppose that would be fine, but I wouldn't prefer it. As I've said many times,, just comments guys! Asks, reblogs, tags, how ever you type them. I just want comments.👍

@neo-metalscottic

No problem! Getting asks are usually a pick me up :}}

As for the Dry Bones thing, that's what I meant by "not sure how it fits into the AU yet" 😅 Who'd they fight? Why did they fight? When did this happen? No idea. Its all just a neat concept with no structure yet :// And beyond the awkward living situation with the Dry Bones today, I haven't really thought about how the Koopa culture has been changed by the war. That's just way too much thinking and I'm way too sick to bother trying to figure it out atm- 💀💔 But maybe someday I'll think it through!

Now Luigi, I had this idea that he had a bizarre encounter with a 1-UP and was later bitten by a Goomba. Over the span of say... 5 days or so..? Luigi slowly got weaker and weaker until eventually he became bedridden and actually died- He came back to life moments after but it still completely shook Mario and Luigi's worlds for a sec there-

I had intended to draw a comic about this, and I made a sketch about it in the past.. but around the time I thought of this idea my Mario phase was kind'a passing over so I didn't feel like making it- <XDD

As for a potential sequel, I would like to see Wario, Waluigi and Toadsworth. Not sure why Toadsworth wasn't in the first movie- he absolutely should have been. That deep voiced purple..? council..? toad guy?? Totally should have been Toadsworth :/

And my request for the Wario bros is that they are taken seriously. 😅🤣

@cherrycreamfairy

I'm doing okay so far today, thank you! :}

@littlelightfish

I haven't really figured out the details about how Tuna and Louis lost their limbs- 😅

But I'm considering that Louis lost his arm (I assume you meant his arm-) in some kind of work related accident a long time ago. It must have been a fishing accident somehow..

As for Tuna, either some kind of natural disaster/accident or.. someone "removed" them... O-O

I do not :/ I'm not even sure what homestuck is.. I thiiink its a webcomic-

@nemo-draco

Oooo! :00 It looks cool! :DD

And thank you, I'm hoping I get over this soon too 😅

[lowkeyrobin]

Curious about MCYT with a partner that's usually calm and collected, suddenly being super angry at someone bothering them, maybe almost fighting the person brothering them? (Btw i really love your writing, it's super fun to read!!)

ooooo okay !! I see the vision, hopefully I pulled it off LMAO ; also thank you so much!! that means so much to me, I feel like my writings really corny and dumb sometimes and too boring so thank you, it means a lot to me 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; fire in the twilight

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about SA/perverts/men being weird

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you're a very calm person

but when you get mad you get maddddd

he's surprised you haven't beaten the shit out of him yet

someone was being kinda weird at a meet and greet at vidcon and you were already stressed and overstimulated from taking pictures with everyone and signing merch and youtooz (guys should I try buying the slimecicle plushie? I don't wanna support a bad company but he's so cute :()

someone took a picture of you stretching where your shirt lifted a bit and showed off your midsection

Tommy saw and immediately called them out while you were taking a solo pic w a fan

when you heard him you just froze and nearly yelled

"Hey, please delete that. out of your trash too, seriously"

"Dude, fucking delete that shit. that's not okay, actually."

you end up nearly beating the shit out of the person....

then comes the Twitch apology 😭😭

you nearly went into a spiral explaining that it's never okay to take photos of ppl without them knowing, no matter when or where

he feels really bad for you but you're able to sit down and calm down to your usual self 🫶🫶🫶

TUBBO

you got really heated while you got matched up with a bigot random on valorant

you were playing with Tommy and Tubbo on squads

this mf set you OFF

they were talking some homophobic, transphobic, racist ass shit and you just lost it

you were READY for this bitch bro

Tommy and tubbo just sat back in silence because they knew you were gonna go off

"one, why do you trust your fuckass government so much?? two, your statements are completely wrong, it takes one google search. three, you're a bitch edge lord, four, no, I don't think I'm cool because I'm a streamer with a platform. five, you're completely wrong about gay people in general, you're doing the exact same thing being a Bible thumper right now. six, shut up! who fucking cares? how much of a loser do you have to be to hate people so much?"

the random just left out of embarrassment and you have to sit afk for a moment and catch your breath

"You okay, y/n?" tubbo asks

dude them and all your chats are worried about you bro

"yeah, sorry. that just... fuck, like, how are people so hateful?"

he reposts a clip of it on tik tok afterward LMAO

genuinley thanks you a little while after you properly calm down because it would've gotten bad if you didn't go off

gives you a little hug and stuff

"thanks for being my little guard dog"

RANBOO

you were getting fed up with how people were treating you and them online and just kinda lost it on stream

your chat was filled with assholes wondering where people were and why you hadn't publicly talked to them in over 12 hours and what your plans with everything were etc etc

"Dude, please stop. all of you. for weeks this has been going on, stop putting me and ranboo on these pedestals and expecting shit from us. seriously, it's horrible for both of us and our health. if you wanna see Tubbo or Tommy, go watch them! they're both live right now. Seriously, it's not funny and it's not gonna make us pump out more content and do what you want. we're people too, we get sad and burned out and tired. eventually content creation gets unfun and you won't get what you want. behave yourselves and do better. we don't owe you anything"

ranboo literally tears up a bit because he was watching the stream in the other room and could hear you, and you were visibly tearing up

you could feel your hands shaking and you just kind of ended the stream because you were so worked up and didn't wanna do it anymore

he immediately wrapped you in a hug because you were just so angry

gave you a pillow to punch and left you be for a while

you're usually very calm but your emotions exploded when you were bottling it up too much

they understood that but their heart bled for you after that, especially w all the hate that came from it :/

FREDDIE BADLINU

people were throwing things at you on stage during Tommy's live show

you played it off as jokes and were fine with jt because they were doing it sneakily in a fun way, roses, kandi bracelets, plushies etc, until someone threw their bra at you

"Okay, can we not?" You scrunch your eyebrows, looking into the crowd as you throw the bra back into the crowd. "That's fucked, don't ever do that again, learn event etiquette. never throw your bras on a fucking stage, it's weird and disgusting"

Freddie looks over at you, standing next to Tommy, giving you a "Holy shit are you okay?" look while also looking for the culprit trying to get their bra back

Tommy instantly stopped the show to reprimand the person

meanwhile Freddie was whispering to you to make sure you were okay

you were pissed but put your big kid pants on and continued the show

you apologized on Twitter after the show because you were really loud and kind of humiliated the people but you were justified with the situation

the people (and the girl who owned the bra) apologized and the situation was over

Freddie feels so bad bc you're so calm and laid back but ppl always have to test your limits :(

NIKI NIHACHU

people were filming you two out in public and taking pictures and you kinda lost it that they weren't listening to niki, telling them to kindly stop

"can you stop taking pictures? she's uncomfortable, please stop." you speak in a stern voice

the fans just like stare at you in shock because you're usually very calm and chill and you basically yelled at them (you reprimanded them because one it's the law two you both didn't want to be disturbed on your walk)

you're in a miserable mood the whole way home because yk how twitters gonna act when they see that

you quickly make a statement before any video leaks or anything, addressing the situation and apologizing to the strangers

ppl got ur back tho and showed support considering they were filming you on a nice walk without consent

she feels so bad seeing you get upset about it and feels like it's her fault

lots of reassuring her that it's never her fault and you're always happy to defend her and you don't mind getting a little loud to defend her

ALEX QUACKITY

you got really upset with someone harassing a bunch of creators during the qsmp Brazil meetup

"Dude, leave them alone. they don't want to take a picture with you and they don't owe you anything! you're being creepy to all those women right now, do you not realize that or something?"

you were furious seeing that many on your friends, even while on a trip, couldn't just not be harassed by men

the weirdo scurried off but you were literally this close to fighting the fucker

you were seething dude, like, shaking because you were so astonished someone could actually be that pushy and that much of a dick over a picture

Alex wrapped you in a tight hug and just squeezed you until you calmed down while the poor people who were harassed had reassured you that they were okay and that they appreciated and thanked you for standing up for them

Alex genuinley apologizes because the way you reacted just proved to him that you definitely are calm and laid back but when you got angry, you got angry

he feels so bad because you had to stand up for your friends and watch them be harassed and shit

[introspectivememories]

at the center of gotham, lies its oldest public hospital — gotham general. it’s staff are kind and compassionate, if a little intolerant of bullshit. the city may not care about the crimes that occur in it but the people certainly do. gotham’s emergency services are renowned throughout the nation as one of the best. 

the ER nurses at gotham general love to gossip and their latest is about how their ever-reliable EMT bernard dowd, who'll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he can save one more person, who smiles so brightly and brings them cupcakes on his days off but has such sad eyes, seems so lonely. they determinedly decide to find a date for him. maybe dr. zacharia thomas, their latest trauma surgeon? yes, yes! he's only a few years older, bernard knows him, they get along, and most importantly, he's got a stable job. he'll be perfect for their bernard!

and then, literally only days after they decide to set up dr. zacharia and bernard on a date, head trauma nurse marissa santos comes running in with a copy of gotham daily, clutched in her hand.

"look! look! nakita mo ba ang balita?" she whisper-yells, "did you see the news?!"

instantly they're all crowding around her, trying to see the paper. covering the front page is a blurry photo of a black-haired man engaged in a passionate game of tonsil-hockey with someone who is unmistakably their youngest EMT. he's still wearing his uniform for christ's sake! in the largest font known to man, "WAYNE'S NEW PARAMOUR?" is written at the top.

"he's dating the wayne ceo!" marissa gushes excitedly.

"isn't he a little too old for bernard?" someone pipes up from the back.

"not the father, you idiot! the son! timothy!"

that's way better than their candidate. everyone is stoked. by nightfall, everyone in the ER knows that bernard dowd is dating timothy drake-wayne, the youngest ceo wayne enterprises has ever had.

when bear stops by, at around 2 in the morning, dropping of the last patient from his shift, he's immediately accosted by the nurses.

"whoa! hey!" he exclaims as they lead him to the nurse's station and sit him down in a chair, "what's going on?"

marissa slams the paper down in front of him, "spill."

bernard groans and turns cherry red, "oh my god tita. don't you guys have patients to attend to?"

"already taken care of." nurse gu says.

"what about mr. gomez, the one with third degree burns that just came in?" bernard tries desperately.

"dr. zacharia is already on it." dr. esperanza responds, "so spill."

their youngest tries one last time, "how do you even know if that's me?"

"there are like 10 blonde people in the EMT department and considering all of them are older than you and none of them seem to have the three ear piercings that kid in this picture does, we're gonna have to assume it's you." dr. farah nasim, one half of the head of the ER, says.

bernard turns on her with a betrayed look.

"sorry kid," she snorts, "also, you're still wearing your uniform in the photo. it says 'dowd' on the shoulder."

"im too old to be bossed around like this." he mutters before sighing, "alright what'd'ya want to know?"

"tell us everything!" marissa says, "how did you two meet?"

"we were friends in high school and we fell out of touch after junior year. he hit me up on insta 6 months ago and we reconnected."

"oh my god!! they're high school sweethearts!" nurse gu squeals, "that's so cute!"

"tell us more! who asked who out?"

"okay well, technically he asked me out but he didn't know he was asking me out. but we went on this date at this restaurant and it got attacked by some villain and red robin, but he was going by robin at the time, rescued. so i told robin, 'hey if i make it out of this, tell tim drake, i would've liked to finish our date'. and then, tim, shows up at my door the next day and says 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i'd like to find out'. and the rest is history."

"bernard, what the hell?" dr. esperanza says shocked, "that's the most rom-com-esque story i've ever heard."

"what?" bernard blushes, "no it's not."

"bear," esperanza says slowly, "he showed up at your door and said 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i want to find out.' that is something straight out of the notebook."

"no, no! he's such a dork!" bernard assures them frantically, "he does this thing, when he laughs too hard, he snorts and it sets him off again and it just keeps going. and you should've seen him in high school, the biggest skater boy to ever exist. he's teaching me..."

and bernard goes on and on for the next 15 minutes, trailing off only when he notices them all smiling at him.

"what?" he says shyly.

"you're in love with him, aren't you?" dr. farah says.

bernard chokes, "what?! no! ...maybe?"

everyone shares a look between each other. marissa steps forward, "well on behalf of the gotham general ER staff, i can assure you, we all approve."

"thank you?"

"bring him around sometime!" nurse gu says, "we'd all like to meet him."

"why? so you can give him the shovel talk?"

"of course!" dr. farah says, smiling widely, "he’s dating our youngest! we have to threaten him!"

bernard's voice is suspiciously wet when says a few moments later, "thanks guys."

and so on it goes for the next few months until marissa comes back after her break, deathly pale. everyone worries but she refuses to tell anyone what's wrong. and then a few weeks later, nurse gu goes on his break and comes back shocked. and then a month later, dr. zacharia comes back from a quick step outside, lips sealed shut.

and on it goes until there is one glaring truth the gotham general ER night staff cannot ignore:

bernard dowd is dating red robin. open relationship or cheating, to be determined.

a year after the news about tim drake and bernard had been released, and half a year after the, what the staff has taken to calling it, Red Robin Scandal™ began, dr. farah calls a night staff meeting.

the staff meeting is boring as usual until the end when dr. farah opens the conversation to the staff to voice their concerns.

"are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" dr. esperanza asks.

"i think bernard might be cheating on his boyfriend!" marissa blurts out before slapping her hands over her mouth, horrified.

“oh thank god.” esperanza sighs.

"wait you saw them too?" nurse gu asks.

"in the narrow walkway," dr. zacharia starts.

"between the ER and jacobson building." dr. esperanza finishes.

"exactly!" marissa says.

"i caught them in the parking lot once." dr. farah admits, mouth pressed into a grim line, "they were pressed up against the fence in the back — y'know where the light doesn't shine? — kissing each other like they'd just come back from world war 2."

"ay, how could that boy be so stupid?" marissa sighs, "getting caught up with a vigilante?"

"maybe it's like polyamory?" esperanza says, ever hopeful.

"whatever it is," farah says, "he should know better than to get involved with those people. we have to talk to him."

they pull bernard into an unused conference room, just the 5 of them, 3 weeks later.

"hey, hey!" bernard exclaims as they shove him into a chair, "what's going on?"

nobody speaks.

"guys?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?"

"what?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?" marissa repeats.

"no! why would you think that?"

"everyone on the night staff has caught you kissing red robin at least once. wanna try that again?" farah says.

bernard sighs, "is that what this is about? doc, i swear to god, i'm not cheating on tim."

"so he knows?" zacharia asks.

"yes zach, tim knows about me and red robin."

"and he's okay with it?"

"yes. tim doesn't mind me dating both of them." bernard says, a smile playing on his lips.

nobody speaks for a while.

"so..." bernard breaks the silence first, "are we good here? do you approve?"

"no." esperanza says, "we don't approve."

"what?"

"he's no good for you." nurse gu says.

"you don't even know him." bernard says incredulously.

"oh and you do?" zacharia says scathingly, "he's a vigilante bear. how much do you really know?"

"more than you zach!"

pleadingly bernard turns toward farah, "c'mon doc, you don't agree do you?"

"you know, when you first started dating tim drake, i had my reservations. rich people and all that. but i figured with all that money, if you ever got roped into rich people problems, tim's money would help out. you'd be taken care of and he clearly loves you, so i didn't mind too much."

"but this..." farah trails off, "i can't accept this."

turning towards marissa, "tita, please."

"don't do that, bear. wag kang tanga. it's not good to be with him."

"he loves me! is that not enough?" bernard near-yells, "i thought that's what you wanted. someone who loves me!"

"enough to quit being a vigilante?" esperanza asks.

"quit being a vigilante? are you guys hearing yourself?" bernard asks angrily, "he saves the city on a near-nightly basis and you want me to ask him to give it all up because what? he's dating me?"

"so let him save the city without you." nurse gu says, "why does he need to drag you into it?"

"he's not dragging me into anything! i am a full consenting adult! i chose him! what’s so different about what he and i do anyway?"

“well for one, our job is legal. and two, there are safety measures put in place so that you don’t get hurt. so that your coworkers don’t get hurt. your man walks into the joker’s lair with an inch of kevlar and a prayer on his lips.” zacharia says.

nurse gu sighs, "look. nobody here is mad at him for saving the city. everyone here knows somebody who has been saved by the bats. but the deal is that they save the city and they don't drag anybody else into it."

"the bats, whoever they are? they chose that life. for whatever reason, they chose that life and all the dangers that go with it. you’re not stupid bear, don’t get involved with whatever he has going on. pick literally anyone else.” farah says.

“you need a third person that badly? take zach! the ER was planning on setting you up with him before we found out about tim, anyway.”

“what?” zacharia says, rounding on nurse gu.

“you know what?” bernard says, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly, “ i don’t have to explain myself to you guys.”

“you can’t marry him.” marissa says.

“who said anything about marriage? i’m 22!”

“you clearly love tim. you two seem like you’re going to last a while and if you love red robin they way you love tim, them somewhere along those years of being together then you’re going to start thinking of marriage. what then? how are you going to explain red robin to the people you love?”

“we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

“look, bernard,” farah says gently, “we’re not doing this cause we don’t want you to be happy. you mean a lot to me, i think of you as my son. we just-”

“you’re not my mom.” bernard snaps out, “you’re not my mom, you’re not my aunt, my uncle, my brother. you guys aren’t anything to me!”

he turns and walks away.

“farah do something.” marissa hisses.

“let him go. he said he’s an adult right? then let him make his choices.”

“but,” she says, raising her voice so bernard can hear her, “if anything goes wrong, and i mean anything at all, i hope he knows that adults don’t have to do everything by themselves. that they can ask people for help.”

bernard’s hands still on the doorknob. “thank you.” he says voice rough, “nothing will happen, but thank you for the offer.” and he walks out the door.

bernard dowd, is 22 year old EMT that has too much heart and not enough brain. he’ll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he has even a minute chance of saving someone. he’s kind and he’s sweet and more importantly, he’s dating timothy drake-wayne, ceo of wayne enterprises.

if you ask the ER night staff at gotham general, after a lot of prodding, they might tell you that bernard dowd was one of the youngest EMTs to ever join the gotham county emergency medical services. they might tell you that bernard dowd has been wondering if he should become an AEMT or a paramedic. they might tell you that as the major receiver for all patients, bernard saw them all the time and imprinted on them like a baby duck. and if you’re really close they might, tell you the ER’s biggest secret: bernard dowd is dating both timothy drake-wayne and red robin. or they might just let you walk in on them making out behind the ER. whatever comes first really.

(if you get close enough to a certain group of people on the ER night staff, they’ll tell you that bernard dowd has two hands and he uses them to hold onto his boyfriends. 

they’ll tell you that tim drake is a nice boy and they’re a little worried about their bernard fitting into the circles a wayne walks in, but he’s a nice boy who clearly loves bernard, so they’re not too worried.

they’ll tell you that that red robin character is no good for their bernard and has no business getting so close to their youngest. that red robin is going to get bernard into trouble one day, the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.

and if you get really close to them, they’ll tell you over lunch breaks and muttered whispers, that both boys are going to break their youngest’s heart. and that if they had to pick, red robin will do it first. that their bernard loves a little too deeply and that they're worried that it’ll break bernard.

but they’re not too worried, they say. because bernard has them and if that bastard red robin breaks his heart, then they’ll pick up the pieces, they’ll sew him back together if they have to. after all, bernard stitches up half of gotham every night, this is the least they could do.)

[yelenasdiary]

These set pictures of Florence pregnant have me in my feels 🥹 Fic request of Flo and her wife on a last minute babymoon and her water breaks unexpectedly? Protective wife (Reader) gets mad at the paparazzi but does her best to help calm Flo while she has contractions? Fluff once the baby is born would be so cute! Thank you!

I Love You

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Fem! Reader

Summary: With Florence’s due date a few days away, the two of you decided to have one last outing before the baby arrives, just a small romantic dinner between the two of you, what would possibly go wrong?

Tiny Angst | Fluff | Mentions of Childbirth | Florence Bring Pregnant | Slight Language Warning | K | 

AC: I’m really excited to see my new favourite milf, Almut! Please note, I used a random generator to pick the sex of the baby, I hope you enjoy this & I’m sorry it took forever to post x 

"Are you sure you're up for this baby?" you asked your wife as you pulled up into the parking lot of one of her favorite restaurants. Florence looked at you, her hands gently rubbing over her pregnant stomach as she smiled softly at you, "darling, I am craving some really good Greek food, so is our baby" she replied, once again using your unborn child as an excuse. How could you say no to her? She deserves this, after 9 long tiring but exciting months, this would be the last time for a while that Florence would want to do anything until the baby is born. 

"Alright then" you chuckled, "how can I say no to you two?" you added before kissing her lips softly. 

You helped your wife out of the car and carried her handbag as the two of you walked into the restaurant. The waitress greeted the two of you before showing you to your booked table where you pulled the chair out for your wife. "Thank you love" Florence smiled as she slowly sat down and shuffled in her chair to get comfy. 

"I can't believe our little love will be here soon, it still feels like we only found out yesterday" Florence spoke as she poured the two of you a glass of water each. Even though you could tell your wife was trying to hide the fact she was very much over being pregnant by now, you still smiled and let her soak up this moment of reminiscence. 

You couldn't help but take a moment to admire the beauty she truly was. Being married for 3 years and now about to add another member of your little family felt surreal to you, seeing your wife's happy glow while she could barely keep her hands from rubbing the bundle of joy that stole your hearts only brought a proud smile to your lips. 

"It's still a little crazy to me" you replied, "but a good crazy" you quickly added so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. Florence just chuckled, "thank you darling, for being so amazing and supportive through this entire pregnancy, our baby is so unbelievably lucky to have you has their mama" She reached for your hand, holding it gently before the waitress came to take your orders. 

Florence of course ordered the meal she had been craving all day and you ordered something lit as you weren't all that hungry. "Our baby has the world's greatest mother, even before we thought about bring this little cutie into the world, they already had the greatest" you replied once the waitress had wandered back to the kitchen to place the orders. As much as you were enjoying this one-on-one moment with your wife, you couldn't help but notice a couple of people snapping a few pictures of the two of you. Instantly, you felt a wave of protection wash over you and of course, Florence noticed the way you clenched your jaw. 

"Honey don't worry about them" her voice calmed you, "it's just a couple of photos" she added. Since Florence fell pregnant, you've been slightly overprotective of her but you were working on it and making sure it didn't get in the way of things, especially moments like these. 

"I'm sorry" you smiled softly. 

"Don't be, darling, I know you mean well" Florence replied, her thumb gently stroked your knuckles. 

----

After your main meal, you could tell Florence was eyeing off one of the cakes in the dessert display. "Would you like some cake little one?" you asked, looking at your wife's stomach. Florence raised a brow playfully at you, "we would love some" she replied before she grabbed the tablecloth in a harsh grip. Her face expression dropped and worry instantly filled your body.

"Flo, baby, what's wrong?" you asked in a panic, standing up from your seat. 

"Get the car darling, my water just broke!" she looked up at you with a faint smirk before closing her eyes and gripping the tablecloth even harder, if that were possible. Your eyes shot open at her words and suddenly you felt your mind go blank. "Darling, please!" Florence's grip on your hand reactivated your brain. "Right! sorry, okay, uhm, shit! Wait right here, I'll be back!" you replied in a scatter. 

As you rushed out the front door of the restaurant you were met with the sight of at least 10-15 paparazzi waiting with their cameras flashing across the road from you. "Guys! No photos! Not tonight, please!" you shouted as you turned around to walk back into the restaurant. Florence was lent over the table doing her best not to cause a scene, there was no way you wanted to let her leave the restaurant through the front door and asked a waitress in passing if there were a back door to the restaurant. 

"It's through the kitchen but we can't allow you back there, I'm really sorry" she replied to your question. 

"Please, my wife, over there" you pointed to Florence, "her water just broke, there are paparazzi outside, please don't make me take her out the front" you explained. The waitress looked at Florence then back at you, "okay, go ahead, I'll explain things" she smiled softly at you. With that, you walked back to Florence and explained the new plan. 

"Honey, I don't care, please just get me to the hospital!" Florence looked at you as she reached for your hand, you nodded, "come on" you replied softly before leading the two of you through the kitchen. 

Opening the back door to the parking lot, you saw a small group of paparazzi close by your car, already snapping plenty of photos of Florence and you as you helped walk your wife to the car. "Florence, over here!" , "Florence how was filming your next movie?" , "When's the baby due?!", so many questions were being shouted at the tow of you, it only boiled your blood to the max. 

"Come on guys! Back off! Let us get to the car!" You spoke, pushing your way through the group of paparazzi while keeping Florence close to you. "Babe!" Florence tried her best to whisper as her grip on your hand tightened, signaling that she was having another contraction. "I've got you" you reminded her, stopping for a moment to let the pain pass. The paparazzi doing nothing to give either of you space, which only added to your boiling rage. 

"She's in labour!" One guy shouted, alerting the others. 

"Back the fuck off!" you shoved one guy who was now standing in front of you, blocking the last few steps to the car. Quickly you finally made it to the car, opening the door for Florence and helping her to get comfortable as she could possibly get before getting in yourself. 

"They're so fucking crazy!" You sighed in anger. 

Florence placed a hand on the top of your thigh, "darling, don't worry about them. Let's just get to the hospital and meet our baby" she smiled softly. 

----

After hours of holding Florence's hand, helping her breathe through her contractions, wiping the sweat from her face and feeding her ice chips when she needed them, the two of you found yourself in awe as your new-born baby boy slept peacefully in Florence's arms. 

"He's beautiful" you whispered, placing a kiss on your wife's temple. Your eyes looked back at your son whom you had only just met but already loved with everything within you. He already had Florence's cute button like nose, and you were confident he would also inherit her beautiful eyes. 

"He's perfect" Florence replied before looking up at you, "and he's ours" she added with a proud and loving smile. You couldn't help but smile softly in reply before kissing her ever so gently, "I love you so much" you whispered softly, not to wake the sleeping prince. 

"I love you more than any words could ever describe" Florence kissed you once more. 

Looking at your little family, you forgot about anything else that was on your mind, you didn't even care about what tomorrow's headlines would say about you. All you cared about was the sight in front of you. Your wife and your son.

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @jeyramarie | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @sophie-xox | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @get-the-fuck-outta-here | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @sophie-xox | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @crescent-witch | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | @livresjaunes | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | @shibugs | 

[kate-inhaler-1975]

The Undertaker & Mia Wallace // Ross McDonald

A/N : This is a continuous series of the Promptober fics that I failed to do 😭 (I'm sorry, @abiiors ). So here's the Ross & Eve content that people need xx

C/W : Mature languages, a lot of self-doubt, and maybe slight sexual tension 👁👄👁

W/C : 2,180

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Matty and Amy officially started dating in mid February. Valentines Day to be exact. Which meant their first Halloween together was here.

It also meant it was Eve's first time being in a social setting with the entire band.

Eve had been for lunch with George, Charli, Amy and Matty. She'd hung out with Adam quite a bit, but she was always chatting with Carly and Polly. With Waughy, Gabrielle and Jamie, she'd had some short but sweet interactions with them, but Ross was never there.

Eve would always leave a party minutes before Ross would turn up. She'd hang up a facetime call with Amy seconds before Ross and Matty would entire a room. At the St. Annes show, she made an excuse not to go to the after party for his birthday because she was too scared to be in a social setting with him.

It was always bad timing for her to meet her apparent "soulmate".

So, tonight was the night, and here she was trying to blackmail Matty and Amy into telling her what Ross was dressing up as so she could maybe match with him and act like it would be a coincidence.

"I will leak every message that Amy has ever told me about and I will find any possible nudes and I'll send them to TMZ and The Sun newspaper if you don't tell me right now." Eve aggressively took a puff of her vape, pacing around her hotel room like crazy.

"Seriously, Eve, I'm not breaking a sweat over you threatening to leak nudes that don't exist." Matty smirked and shrugged his shoulders, kicking his feet in the air as he layed on Eve's bed.

"Oh, fuck off! I know for a fact Amy has something you wouldn't want fans to see somewhere in the archives." Eve bit back. The room fell silent as Matty and Amy stared at each other, eyes wide knowingly.

"No, Evie, no. I know for fact that if, and only if, there was something to leak you wouldn't do that because you love me and deep down you love Matty as well." Amy showed Eve a toothy grin while doing heart hands over her chest, making Eve roll her eyes and dramatically fling herself into the plush armchair.

"I need to make him fall in love with me!" She whined into the palm of her hands.

Matty felt the need to tease his girlfriend's best friend. He wanted tease her and feed her information without giving her the full details.

He already knew that Ross had seen pictures of her and that he was already stalking her instragram religiously.

"Who said he isn't already in love with you, hmm?" Matty looked at Amy even though he was speaking to Eve, sending her a wink as Amy held back a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eve shot up out of the armchair, her face covered in eagerness.

"I'm just saying that none of us has said to your face that he isn't already in love with you. Anyways, I'm going to shave this fucking stache off and I'll see yous later." Matty huffed as he got up off the bed, bending down to kiss Amy who was sitting cross legged on the floor.

"I love you." She giggled into the kiss, resting both her hands on his reddened cheeks.

"I love you most. See ya later Evie." He winked and pointed finger guns at Eve before speeding out the door.

Leaving Amy blushing and picking at her nails and Eve sitting back down in a huff.

"Ams?" Eve called out quietly after a few seconds of silence, pulling at a thread that was loose on her t-shirt.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that Ross could like someone like me? Even if it's not romantic, just in general." Eve kept her eyes away from looking at Amy, feeling embarrassed by her question.

"What is "someone like me" supposed to mean? Every bone in my body wishes I was someone like you." Amy's brows furrowed, quickly rushing to Eve's side and sitting down on the floor beside her, resting her hands on Eve's knees.

"That's not true, Amy. You're kind, funny, sweet, pretty, and you've got Matty. Who would've thought you'd end up being Matty Healy's girlfriend after all those years of drooling over him. But me? I'm loud, annoying, stubborn, hard to please. I've grown to understand that it's just going to be me and my cats for the rest of my life." Eve let out a breathy laugh to cover up the obvious hurt she felt.

The more that time went on, the more Eve decided that she'd come to terms with being single for the rest of her life. She'd only ever had one night stands, situationships, awful tinder dates, but she'd never been in love and she'd never been in a relationship.

"If that's what you think about yourself, then fine, so be it, but I'm going to tell you what people really think of you. You're hilarious, you're the life of the party and the light of many lives. You're loyal, and Jesus fucking christ are you beautiful. So fucking beautiful inside and out, Evie. I love you, Matty loves you, your family loves you. Everyone that meets you loves you. So I can promise you, with every beat of my heart and moving bone in my body, Ross is going to love you just as much as we do."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Eve gazed at herself in the mirror, cocking her head to the side with a face of stone.

Lips painted red. A wig, shiny and black, cut into a Bob. Black dress pants tight with a white shirt and a few buttons popped open to expose the top of her lacy black bra.

She hated it. She hated all of it.

She feared that she was being too much. That the costume she decided on would leave people whispering, saying that she was a try hard.

"I look fucking ridiculous." She groaned to herself, rolling her eyes and dabbing the fake blood under her nose, hating every single bit of this and wanting to fly home immediately.

"Eve! You alright in there, love?" Matty's voice echoed from outside the bathroom in the venues greenroom.

"I look like a fucking knob, Matthew. I'm not going anywhere looking like this." She sighed from inside. Turing away from the mirror and leaning against the sink with her arms crossed.

"Eve Beatty, I will get Amy in here if you don't shut up. Come on, let me see your costume. If you want someone to tell you the truth, then don't fucking worry, I'm the one to do it."

Eve was hesitant to open the door, her hand lingering over the door handle as she cringed at the thought of her appearance.

"You promise you won't laugh at me?" She whispered.

"I promise, on Amy's life. I won't laugh at you." He whispered back. The soft smile on his face almost audible.

She took a deep breath, swinging open the door to be faced with Patrick Bateman.

"Jesus, Matthew. I don't know whether to laugh or run away screaming and crying." Eve chuckled, finding his costume impressively good.

"It's good isn't it! I think I pull off Patrick Bateman pretty well." He spun around on his heal, showing her jazz hands as he turned back to face her.

"You really do! Now, back to me. I look like a fucking knob!"

"You look far from it, Eve. You look incredible, I promise." Matty opened his arms, welcoming Eve in for a hug that she much appreciated.

Matty and Eve had gotten close over the last few months. Not in a weird way, they just both respected each other and had the same thing in common.

Which was that they both loved Amy.

The double doors into the green room banged open, making both Amy and Matty's hearts stop in fright.

"Tell me about it, stud." Amy spoke seductively, swaying her hips as she walked into the room in her Sandy costume.

"Fuck me." Matty whispered under his breath, but Eve was close enough to hear.

"Someone's got a hard on." Eve spoke through a loud and arrogant cough, making Matty stand on her bare toes in return.

"THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!" She roared in pain, bouncing up and down on her foot that Matty didn't stomp on.

"FUCK! Evie, you look so fucking sexy I might pass out!" Amy gasped, stumbling a little bit from the height of her heels as she made her way over to her.

"Who looks sexy?"

The room fell silent.

Eve's heart began beating at what felt like an ungodly rate.

Her entire body froze as her eyes fell onto him.

Ross. Ross dressed up as The Undertaker out of all people.

"Oh! Ross, this is my best friend, Eve. And Eve, this is Ross." Amy smiled cheekily.

Neither Ross or Eve moved a muscle. The two of them just stood there staring at each other. Eyes dry and stinging and chests heaving.

Ross felt like his world was spinning. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights. He couldn't speak or move, he just froze up.

"Ehm, hello! Wakey, wakey!" Matty cooed jokingly. Finding this interaction very entertaining.

"Fuck off! Hi, I'm Eve. Uhh, nice to meet you." Eve shook herself out of her daze, sticking her hand out in front of Ross.

"Hi, I'm Ross. It's nice to finally meet you. I mean, sorry if that sounded weird, it's just I've heard a lot about you from Amy and Matty so I was looking forward to meeting you." He rambled, shaking her hand.

"Only good things, I hope." Eve giggled while still holding onto his hand.

"Definitely only good things. Haven't heard a bad word about you." Ross' smile became less tense the more Eve talked, and Matty and Amy just sat down on the couch practically all over each other but Ross and Eve were too focused on each other to notice.

"When I walked into this room I never thought I'd be meeting Mia Wallace." He commented, his eyes flickering up and down her body in a way that didn't actually make her feel uncomfortable.

It actually made her feel confident instead.

"And I never thought I'd be having a conversation with The Undertaker, but here we are. The duo no one asked for." Eve chuckled, taking out her vape that was tucked into her bra and taking a lengthy drag of it.

"Shouldn't you be smoking a cigarette if you're dressed up as Mia Wallace." He pointed at the vape in between her lips, smirking as he took a sip of his preshow whisky.

The eye contact they were holding had Eve weak in the knees. Her left hand gripping onto the mini fridge behind her to keep her standing.

Her legs crossing slowly to try and get rid of the sudden throbbing in between her legs.

"I, ehm, I've never tried a cigarette. Jumped on the vape bandwagon long before it became a trend."

"Would you jump on trends often?"

"No, not really. I like to do my own thing. I don't feel the pressure to tag along with trends just to make myself fit in with today's generation." Eve shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal, swapping out her vape for a large gulp of her Gin and Tonic.

"Wow, Mia, you've got brains." He moved closer to her in a blink of an eye.

She barely even noticed until the large hat he was wearing was shadowing over her and the smell of his cologne overwhelmed her senses.

"And you, The Undertaker, are easy to talk to. Even though I'm enjoying this conversation, I think you should get a move on. And! You, Matthew! Get your tongue out of my best friends throat, please." Eve pinched the bridge of her nose in slight disgust.

It was a strange sight, seeing Patrick Bateman and Sandy from Grease eating the faces off of each other.

It was almost laughable.

The small chatter continued as Matty and Ross left the room, leaving the two girls to chat away for a while.

"Hope you enjoy the show. Oh, and, meet me outside for a smoke after. Or should I say vape." Ross turned back to speak to Eve, his hand slightly brushing hers by accident.

"You're not going to kill me in the smoking area, are you?"

"No, that's Matty's job. I just might be the one to get you into Cigarettes, darling." Ross winked before strutting off, letting the door close behind him and leaving Eve completely starstruck.

Or maybe Lovestruck.

"So, Evie, was I right or was I right in saying that Ross McDonald was going to love you." Amy squealed as she wrapped her arms around Eve's waist from behind. Swaying the two of them from side to side.

"I don't know about him, but I'm down fucking bad for The Undertaker."

[sgnjimmy]

Jake Kim x reader, no 8? Thx

★ 𝓙𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝔁 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

≛ 𝙰/𝚗: hey-yo, so sorry for taking so long. I have issues with responsibility so ya know. again so sorry and here it is!! I hope I made it justice.

≛ 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 616.

"Have you seen? Lineman is dating!" You open the office door suddenly.

"What?" Jake asks with his down, working on the papers on his desk.

"He's dating. And going around showing pictures." You scrunch your face in disgust. "... And saying things."

By the tone you're using, Jake knows exactly what kind of things he's sharing.

He's honestly surprised to learn that Lineman is in a relationship. He figured he'd at least date once before this "event" would occur.

It's funny how things are... And also sorta weird.

"Seems like a nightmare from hell." Jake states, still not raising his head from his work.

"Yeah, tell me about it." You grab the chair in front of his office desk and land on it with a heavy thud. "Can't believe he's dating… 'nd I'm not!"

"If it helps you, me neither."

"No, I know. I mean like– in general. I never dated, you know."

Oh.

Oh, he thinks.

Jake moves his head up to look at you in surprise. He stays quiet for a while, and you come to think it was better if you had said nothing.

"... Me neither."

"... You don't have to say that, to um, make me feel better…"

"I'm not." He tells you.

The chair under Jake starts to feel cold against his skin, and he quickly grows uncomfortable. You both hold each other's gaze without noticing. And as the minutes go on, Jake can no longer sit still under your stare.

Your eyes feel heavy, he desperately wants to run away from it. Jake turns his head to avoid your gaze and feels heat rush up to his cheeks.

"But you shouldn't complain."

"Huh?" You say as if he had woken you up from a deep slumber. "What do you mean?"

"You shouldn't be complaining about not being in a relationship." Jake moves his head back to face you, tiling his chin smiling. "After all, I'm all yours for you to take."

You feel your heart failing a beat. What did he just–

Jake winks at you.

And you realize he was just teasing… Ah, you must be really out of your mind to have believed he had feelings for you, of all people.

"Sure, sure." You try to laugh it off as if he didn't just filled your heart with fake hope. "I should…" You clean your throat. "Um, get going."

As you raise from your seat and walk towards the office door, Jake shouts your name, fastly walking your way — placing his body in front of you.

"Wait." He says while bloking the door. "God, I guess I'm really a coward."

"Jake… what– what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to tell you that I– that I…"

He move his eyes down, and he find himself locking his vision on your hands, Jake holds them and places a kiss on each knuckle.

"I'm trying to say that I love you." He says, expressing his deepest thoughts as he raises his eyes from your hands.

This information takes out your breath for the second time today. So all that teasing was actually real. He meant all of that?

The countless times you got mad at yourself for pinning on your boss were all meaningless now. He liked your back!

"Please say something…" He prays you to return his feelings, but all this silence from your side has starting to make him feel worried. "I like you, but what about you? Y/n, do you?"

Instead of a proper answer, you take your hands off of his tender hold to grab the back of his neck, pulling the leader of Big Deal for a kiss. As Jake kisses you back, he feels his insides melting.

So this is what kissing was like.

This is how kissing you was like.

As soon as you pulled back and ended the kiss, Jake was already addicted to the feeling of your lips on his.

© 𝙨𝙧𝙜𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙮 2023

[rayshippouuchiha]

Sorry Ray, this is the anon that sent a message asking for permission to ramble vaguely spoiler-y info about my favorite character at you ages ago. Not sure if you even remember, since it’s been a few weeks since you gave the go-ahead. It took me a while to get all my thoughts in order, because at any given time I will start spontaneously frothing at the mouth over thoughts of this character but I’ve never tried to put all of those feelings into words at once, so I kinda procrastinated a bit that first day, and then work got freaking CRAZY and I just couldn’t even get back to it until now. I think I was finally able to put it all together in a way that kinda makes sense, so here it is at long last. I do have to warn you it's gonna get pretty long though, so get ready, bc here we go.

Let me paint a picture of the scenario for you. We’ll start by imagining the typical "Groundhog day" deal; usually we can expect the people involved to be classified into two categories – first, the main character, who remembers everything and whose actions cause (and eventually stop) the loops, and then everyone else around them, who all remember nothing and don't even notice anything except for the "final" timeline.

Following the typical Groundhog Day tropes, we could expect our main character to either wish for the loop/wake up in it or some other such situation, then spend the remainder of their time in it trying out various different scenarios and getting into a whole host of shenanigans trying to escape it, while the rest of the cast react in various ways, usually starting out funny/light-hearted, then sad or angry as our MC fucks up more and more, then finally all becoming happy by the “final loop” where the MC gets their shit together and achieves the loop-ending conditions (usually by making everyone happy). In this particular piece of media I’m so obsessed with, however, our MC is not trying to escape the loop – they’re delighting in it.

We the “audience” don’t realize the true horror of such a thing at first, because we’re delighting in the joy of every one of the (masterfully crafted) characters reaching their happy ending, but it turns out that for the person with the time powers, finding the “happily ever after” is not enough. They’re used to the power of the loop now, are in full control of it, and are having the time of their life finding out just what happens whenever they try to change anything. They’ve been at it for so long that the people trapped in the loop with them have stopped mattering, and they’ve gone on to try literally everything they can think of to try, up to and including killing everyone, because they figure why should they care? No one would remember anyway, so they get to use their time powers to the fullest, no consequences, right?

Except, no, not in this case. Because there is a third category of character in this particular Groundhog day nightmare; one person trapped in the loop, but not controlling it, who knows.

At first, both MC and us the “audience” don’t know this. This character acts like a carefree, goofy, lazy jokester, pulling pranks and making puns, generally having laid-back fun all the time – the last person you’d expect to be going through something so awful. But pretty soon, signs start to appear that there’s more to him than meets the eye. If you watch him veeery carefully, it looks like he might have some kind of power over time and/or space? And then he gives a sort of cryptic warning that makes you go hmmm but then stop thinking about, because he goes right back to pulling harmless practical jokes on people as if nothing’s wrong.

But then there’s a sudden shift – he tells the MC that if he hadn’t promised the opposite they would have been dead already. It is an incredibly chilling moment, seeing this generally laid-back guy become downright menacing, but even then, some of the people seeing this unfold might not yet realize the horror of his situation because this happens during one of the “kinder”, initial loops. They might wonder why he would say such a thing, either not yet understanding the implications of the MC’s power or not getting where his hostility could come from, since up to that point he mostly behaves in pretty much the same friendly fashion. Other people can end up thinking he’s being too harsh, because the MC is using their powers for good, right?

Pretty soon, as we watch more loops unfold where the MC gets increasingly violent, we end up seeing that thought is wrong, and they absolutely deserve his hatred. Even so, this guy’s response to the ever-escalating brutality is actually… way too chill? Most other people in the world try to fight back at one point or another, but he never does. In fact, unless the MC has actively killed his family in that particular loop, he never stops acting friendly, even when other friends and acquaintances have died. This is of course, very intriguing, and we can’t help but wonder what his deal is as we go along this journey.

Then we reach the worst possible scenario, where the MC has killed every single person for miles around, and when he makes a final stand to try to stop them once and for all, we find out the whole truth - He reveals that he has known what the MC has been doing all along, has been dealing with similar loops for a long time, and as a result has become somewhat nihilistic.

After all, he has been at the mercy of this person (and their predecessor with a similar power) for an incredibly long time. Just, imagine what that would do to a person. This is not your typical “Groundhog day”; it’s not limited to a few loops lasting a week at most. Remember, these people are actively trying to do literally everything that could possibly be done. They’ve not only tried every iteration of everything there is to do in this place, but also talked to and killed every person in every possible combination, just to see how their loved ones or acquaintances react, to the point where they no longer see them as people. How long would that take? Depending on how creative and determined they were, it could have taken years, especially if they spent several days or weeks on every loop, as they surely would have.

Just imagine, what do you do, if you know time is looping, but it could take days, weeks, months, or years, before time loops back around to the “starting point”, but you never know and have no way to tell or predict when any loop will end? You can expect everything you know and worked for so hard for the past however long to disappear, just like that, like a snap of your fingers, and you have to accept it. There is nothing you can accomplish, you have no power to do anything. Any effort can be reversed, at any given time, at some points for no reason you can understand because everyone was happy, but still this being, this… uncaring demigod, resets again. And again. And again. So nothing you do matters, nothing you try changes anything in the long run, not really, because this apathetic, unsympathetic, almost sociopathic person controlling the lives of you and everyone around you cares about One Thing, and one thing only; their own enjoyment. Their curiosity. The “need” to know what happens. A need that drives them to do the unthinkable time and time again. Because, again, who cares? As far as they know, no one can remember, no one will know, there are no consequences. So they loop, and they loop, and they loop, over and over and over, until it must have been decades, maybe even centuries, since the loops started.

And I just, whenever I think too hard about this piece of media, and this character, and what you can find out about him, it wrecks me, okay? It just, destroys me. Because when we think about it, taking all of this into account, his behavior makes perfect sense. Characters around him talk about how he gives only the bare minimum effort, call him lazy, but of course he is. Of course being caught in an eternally-looping hell cycle would wreck your motivation, because why put anything beyond the minimum required effort into anything, if it could all be lost in an instant with no warning? Why try to stop this person, if any progress towards that goal could be turned back whenever the person with the time powers wishes? Also, of course he acts aloof and laid-back - he seems to have taken refuge in apathy, trying to show that he cares as little as possible, because how would caring help except for making him hurt more?

How do you process all of that? Even if he doesn't completely remember (and we have no way to know whether he does or not, because why would he let the MC [and the audience with them] know that he remembers, when they might use that against him just to see how he reacts to further loops? I know I wouldn’t), how do you deal with the knowledge, the weight of thousands of lives lived and lost, thousands of deaths for yourself and everyone you love that you can't help, that you can't stop, that you have no way to control or prevent, that no effort made and no dream fulfilled ever matters because nothing lasts? How do you stay sane?

But that’s not all! Now, the hidden hostility is the one that makes sense, while the friendliness he showed most of the time is the questionable one. Why bother acting so inviting? Turns out, as we find out during that last terrible fight, that it’s because he figured that maybe this person that has caused him so much pain, this individual whom he should see as an unfeeling demon, might be doing all of this because they were unhappy. He was secretly hoping they could be friends, so they would be so happy they became satisfied with their reality and let time run its course. And doesn’t that just break your heart? Even after everything, he hasn’t lost his caring heart, even showing at times that he’s worried about this monstrosity that has the potential to doom him, that he can never know which facet he’s going to get next; the friend or the killer. He sees this person who has caused untold amounts of pain to him and everyone he knows, but he still held on to hope that they might change, that they could be better, that the friend he found in the kinder loops was lying there beneath the surface somewhere; so he offered food and laughs and friendship and hoped for the best. GODDAMNIT *pounds fists against the walls*

Extra-heartbreaking fact: We can find out later that he has a way to keep track of events between loops – a place exclusively for him that time cannot touch. During one of the happier loops, where everyone’s dream gets fulfilled, he gets a picture with all of his friends and family together, including the abomination that made it possible, and he places it in the only location where the loops will not erase it - because he wants to remember this forever even if it hurts, even if the loops reset and they lose the memories, he wants to keep this… which means we know for certain that if the MC decides to reset time after reaching the happiest possible future he definitely knows they betrayed him. I am in agony goddammit. Like, I just imagine how he felt the times when the anomaly resets the loop and does it all again; everyone’s dream is fulfilled, everyone is happy, and he races back to that place, to put a picture commemorating the happiest day of his life in a spot where it will never go away… but there’s already an identical picture there. Can you imagine how that would feel? This person who’s earned your trust has betrayed you, maybe even a thousand times over, and whatever they said they feel this time they don’t care, they can’t, not really, or they wouldn’t have done something like this. It’s awful why am I thinking about this again why am I doing this to myself asdfghsrgsdfd *crying screaming frothing at the mouth*

Okay, going back to his final stand, knowing everything we know now, why does he try to stop the MC in that final battle, if nothing matters? Simple; turns out if the MC succeeds and murders everyone, they’d get strong enough to end time itself, and despite it all, even though he’s dealing with what must be severe depression, even though he holds no hope for himself and has nothing he looks forward to, he still wants the best for his family and friends. He still cares about them, wants them to have at least a chance to be happy, even if it’s just temporary, so much so that he’s willing to use every last bit of his considerable powers, every trick up his sleeve, every ounce of willpower still in his body to fight what he knows is an unwinnable battle, over and over and over, just on the one in a thousand chance that he can force the anomaly to stop, or convince them to try any other possibility. It just explodes my brain every time I take even a second to think about it *weeps*

Anyway, thus end my entirely-too-long rant about my favorite piece of media and character. Hopefully you enjoyed it even a little. Maybe think of it as an AO3 oneshot in this trying times? Lol

Thanks for hearing me out, love ya!❤️

Forgot to add one thing to my crazy long rant about my favorite character just now (see the previous “Groundhog day” ask if you need context sorry but I just had to add this):

It doesn’t help my obsession that I see people misinterpret him so often. It’s infuriating; they fall for the mask he wears and the role he plays, the ways in which his circumstances have forced him to act, they say “he’s so strong, how could he be so apathetic? How dare he not try from the beginning to stop this nightmare?” or “wow he’s still so aloof even when his friends die, he really doesn’t care about anyone but himself” and I’m just like… are we looking at the same person? Are we interpreting the same piece of media? Where have they been? How have they not noticed the million little ways in which he shows he cares? He clearly appears to be coping with serious mental health issues; he wants nothing, finds it hard to do anything but joke or sleep, may be eating less, doesn’t bother with getting anything for himself, and doesn’t seem to be able to honestly find anything to look forward to most of the time. He is a deeply hurt individual struggling basically alone (because no one else is aware and they can’t be made to remember, not for long) to survive a horrifyingly bleak situation but still he makes sure his family has everything they could possibly want or need, still takes care of his friends to the best of his ability, still makes sure to bring joy to others even when he admits he can no longer feel it himself, still finds it in himself to care about the “harbinger of doom” (so to speak), and is still a fundamentally kind person, who cares so, so much despite his best efforts to the contrary and I just- I love him, I love him so so much, and it makes me so angry how others fall for his façade of apathy and brand him as uncaring. He deserves the world, I know he’s fictional but I’d die for him.

Ok, NOW I’m done. Sorry again, just made an already long ass rant even longer lmao but tbh I have no regrets I feel free uwu

~~~

I can tell that this has got you by the entire soul and after reading this I honestly can't blame you because hot damn that's a lot.

[spitdrunken]

I’m busy as usual lately, and if you’re new here, my interests tends to change up pretty quickly and strongly because of my neurodivergency lolol I see all your hazbin requests, and I will try to get to them <33 In the meantime, my girlfriend has dragged me into Ace Attorney (so blame her), and I cleaned up this ‘discord fic’ we wrote together, haha.

notes: dick gumshoe x female!reader (reader is very explicitly female here; please don’t go in hoping for ambiguity!), age gap (gumshoe is early 30s, reader is early 20, inexperienced reader. other than that, this is just very consensual sex. enjoy!

essentially, the entire crux of the idea is that gumshoe has a hookup app he uses sometimes, and you meet through there. you haven’t had that much sex, or just not sex with guys, but you’re bored and you’re horny and you decide- why the hell not? you assume nothing will really come out of it, anyway.

maybe there's just a far higher number of guys on the app you were on, and most of them just sent you a picture of their ugly penis or the most horrendous, sexual pickup line in existence… you'd practically given up on both the app and the male population in general, when you encounter gumshoe. who just tells you how pretty you are and asks how your day has been. he is outrageously attractive himself, and so you have to wonder whether or not he’s even real… despite the different start,i feel like he still wouldn't take too long to ask if you want to come over to his place sometime, but that's only normal and expected- it's the very purpose of the app such as the one you're using, after all! he warns you beforehand that his apartment doesn’t look like the best of places on the outside, and agrees to do anything you want beforehand to verify his identity! like sending pics of himself in certain poses, or (video)calling.

and you show up and all of your nerves just crash into you at once. you’re standing in the parking lot and you get so nervous you might as well throw up. you don’t really do stuff like this, but you were lured here by his genuine compliments and his good looks. you are almost tempted to text him that you’re going home, something came up, or to be rude enough to ghost him entirely- but there’s a little bit of guilt welling up inside you, knowing that you agreed with all of this, and he’s waiting for you and got his hopes up.

the reason you initially do go up to the door is this guilt. at your hesitant knock at the door, it immediately swings open, as if he had been waiting right beyond. you’d guessed from his pics he’d be big, but he’s really tall, and the spitting image of the pics he uploaded, rather than some of the horror stories you’ve heard.

"h-hi!!" you squeak. "i'm from the, uh, thing." you give him a little wave, and immediately feel stupid, quickly lowering your hand. your face is already on fire, and you don’t quite know what else to say.

gumshoe, on the other hand, only needs to take one look at you to be able to see how nervous you are. (while people often consider him dumb, he’s at least got emotional intelligence to make up for it. not to mention, he’s been around this block plenty of times before.)

"pal, c'mon, sit down. you look like you're about to pass out," he says, though not unkindly, and leads you inside before pulling back a chair from his dinner table. you're pretty happy to do as he says. "are you okay?"

"yeah, um-" you wring your hands together on your lap, face flushed, not meeting his eye. "i'm sorry. i don't really do stuff like this…. ever. i-is that weird? i just, uh, well…" you laugh sheepishly and awkwardly. "you were- you are very handsome, what can i say?"

he laughs, louder than you think you deserve, but it's boisterous. not laughing at you. "you sure do know how to make a man feel special, huh? but… hey. look at me." he's sitting opposite you now, a kindly smile on your face. "we don't hav'ta do anything you don't want to. we don't have to do anything at all! i want you to have a good time. both of us should have a good time. 'course, i'm always happy to have such a pretty lady in my home.. but i'm not gonna make you do something you don't wanna."

after his little motivational speech, you've calmed enough that your breathing has slowed down to regular levels.

"thank you, i really do appreciate it… um. i wanna try, at least. i bought new lingerie 'n everything," you mumble, eyes averted.

"just for little old me? you shouldn't have." dick's smile is goofy and genuine and luring you closer, allowing him to reach out for your waist.

"would you mind if i take a look? i'd love to see your pretty new panties." you don’t trust your tongue to make any comprehensible noise right now, so you just rapidly nod. "that's my girl."

maybe he keeps sitting down at the table, and pats his knee, inviting you to sit down on his lap. not right over his crotch, he doesn’t want to push you that quick and that hard. maybe you're wearing a cute little dress so he just pulls the hem up, and without even thinking about it, you reach out and taking him from it, holding it up for him,, you're very very red in the face and looking anywhere except at him, but you can hear the smile in his voice when he says ‘thanks’.

he just places one of his big, warm hands on your thigh, rubbing circles on the skin on the inside, and with the other hand he just traces a single finger up the length of your thigh, closer and closer to your panties to see if you don't get spooked. even when he touches your underwear, he doesn't go for your clit or anything like that, just running the tip of his finger over the side of it. maybe it's pink n lacy and slightly see through.

"that's so adorable," he tells you, maybe even tugging a little at the pink little bow on top. "s'like you read my mind and you knew exactly what i wanted to see! special girl."

"i- i'm sure i'm not… mmm--" gumshoe just hums in response, question unspoken. "i'm sure you've had prettier girls over." and you immediately want to hit yourself over the head for saying something like that, but it was what you were thinking.

"hah!" he practically guffaws, entirely unfazed. "you'd be surprised, pal. all i ever seem to hook are skinny little guys. which is all fine and good, love ‘em, but there are plenty who are just- if they can't be bothered to just say 'hi' before starting to talk about my dick, i just block 'em."

you can't help but laugh a little, and look at his face for the first time, meeting with relaxed eyes and a kind smile. (if you're going to catch feelings for this man, you swear to god--) "i guess we're pretty similar, then. i only got, uh, dick pics and bad one liners… you were the first one to just ask how i was feeling." for a moment, you can forget you're sitting in a stranger's lap with your dress pulled up, and his fingers centimeters away from your clit. maybe this guy just has that effect on people.

"people can be weird," he sighs and shakes his head a little. "that, or they just ask for the strangest things. i had this one guy over once, and he just straight up asked for fisting, which, y’know, never mentioned that anywhere before! how do ya even think you want my damn fist inside you, when you can't even handle my cock?"

"o-oh yeah?" you stammer out, the unspoken question on your lips (are you THAT big???!!??) obvious to both people in the room, and you don't even think about it as your eyes shift a looot lower than his face.

there's a tangible shift in the air, and gumshoe chuckles. when he speaks again, his voice is about an octave lower. "eyes up here, sweetheart." you jolt, practically spit out an apology, and he laughs again, louder this time. "no, no, i'm sorry, was just messing with ya. but you got curious, didn't ya? c'mere."

he takes your wrist, grip loose enough that you could pull away at any moment, but you don't. he places your hand right on top of his crotch, and places his own hand over yours. he is… big, and your face is burning. "i can see that you're wet yourself, sweetheart, so i think ya should know i've been hard ever since you walked through that door."

[maaradag]

massive, rambly spoilers for the new WILTY christmas episode underneath

First thoughts after finishing: oboy, both Lee and David going THROUGH it. Bet Rob was feeling all good safe in his host chair.

The guests were Victoria Coren Mitchell (whee!), Naga Munchetty, Alex Brooker and Melvyn Hayes. I'll admit I had to look everybody's names up except VCM.

Alex Brooker's lie has been available as a clip on the BBC website for a couple of days now, so nothing new there. Delighted by the fact that Victoria's (unbroken?) streak of guessing correctly on this show continues

So for me the show proper started with Victoria's card, which oh my god, holy shit, this was worth the wait.

David looks like he wants to sink into the floor, but for me, as Lee says: "If it helps in any way, I'm absolutely loving it."

I mean this is golden. Victoria starts trying to explain David's underwear philosophy, before turning to David and checking if she's not you know, revealing too much information on national television. David who has already spent the last few minutes looking like this is his worst nightmare, reassures her that no worries, "this is dreadful". All the while Lee is clapping his hands delightedly.

(BONUS Sweet moment!. Naga patting David on the shoulder, in an attempt at reassurement, cringing too hard to be very reassuring)

I don't know who Melvyn Hayes is (I'm not British, so my bad I guess) but his small comments here and there really brought it up a notch. Could have been annoying but it was really funny.

Other nice quotes from this round:

Victoria (to David, having revealed much about his underwear habits): I'm so sorry. (Then she laughs a bit more)

David: thE biBLe AnD fifTy SHadEs oF grAy

Melvin Hayes: I'm excited! (everybody cracks up)

This was FINALLY the resolution of Lee's quest to find out what David wears underneath his clothes.

(If only I still wrote fanfiction, and if only I could ever manage to write RPF this would segment would surely inspire me. Just putting that out into the universe before going back to hiding beneath the covers)

Have some pictures of David going through it:

BONUS: Lee being a smug bastard

The Melvin Hayes story did very little for me, as previously mentioned, no clue who he was before this, and the people he mentions are people I've heard about before but also know very little. Glad everyone seems so delighted by it though.

To contrast the previous picture have a happy picture of David and Victoria being pleased by Melvin Hayes story

THIS IS MY (Feat. a Celebrity Guest whoohooo)

Yet another person I don't know who is, but Patti seemed famous and Lee was all over her which turned out to be quite funny.

Victoria's sounded familiar by any rate, like I heard it before. Delightful story anyhow, her delivery of "better still, you can be in it." killed me.

Naga with the slow reveal of it being Lee that they hadn't recognized. Wonderful! Lovely! No notes. It's great that the story wasn't true because then the digs at Lee, and the Jimmy whatshiface of it all just became the marks of a good liar

(looked it up, the guy's Jimmy Nail. An English singer-songwriter apperenly, according to google).

David used his versatile tool to make decent stomach growls. Colour me impresssed.

Last round is a classic Lee round, in which he gets an herculean task and we watch him try to reel it in. (Alex B turns out to be quite the generous laughter which is great.)

Tag yourself I'm Alex, losing it.