#sorry i can’t focus on this s*x scene I’m still thinking about the international implications of Fiancé Roulette these morons were playing

[asterdeer]

really been struggling with finding good mindless queer audiobooks to distract myself with lately. today i started not one but two different poorly written fantasy romances where the main characters bone within 24 hours of meeting each other (one of them was literally 5 minutes after meeting). allos are wild

[jinkicake]

Just A Touch Of Your Love

Kenma, Daichi, Tendou, Tsukishima with a s/o who isn’t really comfortable/fairly familiar with physical touch. 

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Sawamura Daichi x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Sorry I didn’t post this last night Anon, I hit a dead-end where I couldn’t type anything TT I was in a funk and nothing was really sounding right, I hope this is okay though! I grew up with brothers so I still do flinch quite a lot whenever people move too quickly,,,,, it kinda makes for some awkward conversations LOL but in truth I just used to get my shit rocked all the time. It made me super tough though! (▼-▼*)

WC- 2,252

~~~

Kozume Kenma

I think Kenma would be able to understand this really well

He seems like the type to dislike being touched, it might be because he just doesn’t like it or because it isn’t something he is used to, I don’t think he is a physical touch person

Therefore, he would be very understanding and respectful of your space, he would always ask before touching you and just to make sure you’re okay with it

Kenma wants to make sure you are comfortable~

And in return you do the same with him,,,, relationships are all about exploring and learning the other person so I feel like Kenma would really appreciate if you also respected his boundaries

That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to cuddle you or hug you because,,,, he is but he just needs to get used to it

If you ever flinch around him, he would get really worried

He’d straight out ask you why you don’t like being touched, not in a rude way but he is genuinely curious

Kenma would be such a good listener and would probably be able to help you feel better, he’d never invalidate your feelings!

Little by little, you both will become more secure in the touches you want to give the other

“I can’t stand whenever people touch me.” Kenma winces as another person brushes past his shoulder, he has to refrain from rolling his eyes. He glances down at where you are practically shoved into his chest, looking just as uncomfortable. “Are you okay?” He asks and you mutter back a ‘fine’. “I know it’s rush hour but we will get off soon, it’s just a few more stops.” He tells you quietly and you nod, trying to focus on his voice.

Once the two of you finally get to your stop, you feel like you can breathe again. You step off the train with light feet and glance at Kenma to make sure he is behind you. At the last second, an older man knocks his shoulder into yours, making you wince and Kenma has barely any time to pull you close to him before the train closes once again.

“What a dick.” Your boyfriend glares at the receding train, his eyes practically freeze the businessman in place. “(Y/N), are you okay?” He asks again and you nod, though you’re mentally replaying the scene over and over again.

“I’m not used to people touching me, I kind of hate it.” You tell him quietly and Kenma looks at his hands clutching your shoulders. “I like when you touch me though, d-don’t worry!” You throw him a reassuring smile and Kenma nods slightly.

“I don’t like when people touch me, it feels gross in a way.” He confesses and you nod understandingly. “I like when you touch me though, I always have. I guess it just takes time to get used to.” 

His words make you feel better, Kenma is always so understanding and supportive with any of the issues you face.

“We have time, right?” You ask him timidly and Kenma hooks his pinky in yours while you two walk towards the exit of the station.

“Yeah, we do.”

Sawamura Daichi

I feel like Daichi would pick up on the way you act around others when he first starts crushing on you..... He’d notice very quickly the way you avoid your friend’s touches

Probably after you start dating he would ask you about it, because he wants to make sure he doesn’t make you uncomfortable. When you explain that you just aren’t used it, Daichi will definitely note it

Daichi would be very cautious with you, I feel like he would be really good at making sure you feel relaxed

He would be more protective of you when around others and will always act like a barrier whenever you started getting nervous

Daichi would notice very quickly how you flinch or wince away from his touches

He’d be really worried and put his hand on your shoulder, just hovering it over your shirt, to see how you would react

His mind would run for hours and he’d ultimately confront you with asking what’s wrong, why you flinch away from his touches

It’s not in an overbearing, guilt way, Daichi is just really worried that is was something bad that happened in the past

He would always reassure you and tell you that he’d never hit you, never lay a hand on you in a violent way

It starts with him gaining your trust little by little but you tell him that he doesn’t have to worry too much because you already enjoy his touch so much~ just not too much of it,,,

“Hey babe,” Daichi calls from behind you, you look at the doorway of the classroom and smile when you notice your post-practice boyfriend.

“Hi, Daichi.” You smile and then clean up your supplies, messily shoving them into your bag. “Hold on, I was just finishing my homework.”

Daichi gives you a small encourage praise, telling you how smart you are, before ruffling your hair. You can’t help but laugh at the act of endearment while the two of you walk out of the building. When you get to the gates of the school you notice a few other players still left from practice and you timidly stare at the ground.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Sugawara waves and you give him a gentle smile before waving back. You notice a few of the first years running out of the gym and you jump behind Daichi, almost getting nailed by the hyper duo.

“Oi!” Daichi calls at Kageyama and Hinata but they’re already too far gone to ever hear. “Are you okay?” He asks quietly and you nod, squeezing his arm reassuringly. You continue to talk with Sugawara for a few more minutes before you split up and walk your separate ways home. “You’re so quiet today, are you sure everything is okay?” Daichi asks, carefully looking at you and you simply shrug. 

“I’m just tired, I guess.” You yawn and refrain from leaning your head on Daichi’s shoulder.

“You can use me for support.” Your boyfriend offers out his arm and you glance between his wrist and his eyes.

“Really? Are you sure?” You ask and Daichi nods reassuringly, gently motioning to his arm. You grab onto his jacket and cautiously rest your head on his shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“Yup, it’s perfectly fine,” Daichi tells you and you bite the inside of your cheek. His body heat slowly starts to warm you up and you start randomly talking about things that happened today. Daichi continues to smile down at you with fond eyes, listening, and hanging onto your every word while brushing his hand against your own. His subtle touches like this make you feel so safe, it’s a feeling you never thought you’d experience.

Tendou Satori

Listen, Tendou is going to have a hard time with this one

He just seems like the type whose love language is physical touch

So he might not pick up on it at first,,,, he just wants to shower you in all his love and hugs and everything he can do

However, when Tendou starts to notice the way you cower away from his hands or you avoid his hugs he would be worried

He would ask you about it and when you tell him that you aren’t really comfortable with touching people because of things that happened in the past, then Tendou would mentally facepalm himself

He’d be really relieved though, I feel like he would try joking and say something like ‘I thought it’s because I smelled bad!’

Tendou just wants you to feel the best, the same way he feels whenever he is with you

He’d slowly work up your tolerance with his touches, little things like holding your pinky or simply brushing his hand against yours

It’s not that you dislike the way he touches you because you actually enjoy them, it’s just that you can’t help but be too cautious with them

Tendou now knows this, which is why he is much more careful with you, he’d never want to do anything to make his precious Angel feel cornered :-(

“All I’m saying (Y/N),” Tendou spits jokingly. “if I were there at the agni kai I would have fought alongside Azula. Fuck a bitch named Katara.” Your boyfriend has been ranting for the last twenty minutes about the ending of Avatar and why he thinks there should have been a fourth season. “I’ll start bending the lightning.” He threatens and shoots his hand up into the air to ‘redirect lightning’, the sudden movement causes you to flinch and curl in on yourself and Tendou jumps back dramatically at your movement. He tilts his head curiously and you offer him a small reassuring smile like you didn’t just back away from his touch. “Baby, I’m not going to actually electrocute you, ”

Tendou gently cups your face and frowns at the way you wince at his touch, you’re staring at his hands like they burn you. It isn’t that his touch is bad, you’re just not used to it. Tendou knows this and in return has scaled back his love language of physical touch to help you feel more comfortable, but here and there he does slip up.

“You don’t like this?” He asks and you know it’s not in a way to make you feel guilty, Tendou genuinely wants to know if you're okay with this.

“No, I do like it,” You whisper and stare at the ground. “I’m just not used to it so it feels weird.” It feels nice to get this off your chest and Tendou internally fights with himself between backing away or holding you close. Instead, you make the decision for him. Your hands come up and cup his own as you give him a gentle smile. “I really like your touch Tendou.”

Your boyfriend goes quiet and you get a little nervous at his reaction, he is internally melting at how cute you are. Keep it together Tendou, keep it together.

“And I really, really like you (Y/N)~”

Tsukishima Kei

Tsukishima is another person who strikes me as one who doesn’t like being touched too much

Whether that is just an assholey thing, like me, or it is awkward for him…. Idk,,

All I know is this mf doesn’t like being touched unless he actually likes the person like Yamaguchi or Nishinoya

You’d think with that big head of his, heyyyy big head, he would also note the way you aren’t really comfortable with being touched

He doesn’t….. This mf just thinks it is because of him, that you don’t like being touched by him

This will end up with him bottling his feelings, like Tsukishima does, until he eventually grows tired and explodes

Telling you all sorts of things he doesn’t mean and you’re just standing there like…. What

And then you explain to him that you just aren’t a fan of being touched that much, though you do really like the way he touches you and Tsukishima is like,,, ‘oh so I am the asshole’

This confrontation though would make him much more understanding and it would probably clear out the tense air that was hanging around the two of you, it makes Tsukishima appreciate you even more and you both would become even closer

Maybe one day it’ll come to the point where you have to beg Tsukishima for touches and not the other way around LOL

“Do you even like me?” Tsukishima asks one day while you’re walking home after school, you turn to him in complete confusion. What brought this up? Tsukishima scoffs at your expression and takes it as a motive to continue. “You don’t like it when I touch you.” He states and at that moment, brushes his hand against yours. You pull your hand back to your side at the soft touch, not at all expecting him to do that.

“Why would you even date someone if you don’t like them?” Tsukishima’s nose twitches in annoyance and he reaches out to grab your hand, at his quick movement you flinch and bring your hands up to cover your head. Immediately you duck as a reflex. “Huh?” He blinks down at you, his heart tightens in his chest at the way you distance yourself away from him. “Did you think I was going to hit you?”

“Of course not,” You answer quickly and brutally honest, you know Tsukishima would never touch you like that even if teases you and he says he would. “sorry I’m not really accustomed to touches like that yet. I do really like you though.” You bite the inside of your cheek and try to turn your face to hide your embarrassment. Tsukishima internally sighs, fuck, he is an asshole.

“I’m sorry,” He starts and you glance at him in shock. “for scaring you and accusing you of not liking me.” Tsukishima mutters and you quickly open your mouth again but he cuts you off before you can even say anything. “I shouldn’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”

“I do, I do want to hold your hand and touch you but I just haven’t gotten used to it.” You tell him and Tsukishima hums under his breath. “Do you believe me?"

“Obviously, idiot.” He gentle knocks his knuckles against your forehead, walking closely next to you as you two make your way back to your houses. Tsukishima respects your space and most importantly respects you~

~

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy

[cosmiclatte28]

Feeling(s) (Prince!Taeyong x guard!reader)

a/n: back with the Prince Taeyong x guard reader series... for my maple sister @charmingyong !! I really hope this makes sense... I kinda cut it short here, but I am always letting all of you continue the story or add scenes according to your imagination

PRINCE TAEYONG X GUARD READER DRABBLE COLLECTION

tagging @neopalette too :*

shine your sword, and here we go guards!!

“(y/n), make sure you keep an eye on Taeyong for the whole day. We don’t want anything bad to happen to him on his special day.” the Royal Majesty queen just ordered you your quest for this week.

You nod, not that your job ever changes. It’s always being the prince’s personal bodyguard, but this week your work is extra hard because you really have to make sure he is always near you because it’s his 21st birthday this Sunday and everything about it has to be perfect.

You order for the carriage to be prepared as the prince will be visiting the town to pick up his clothes. Well, the tailor is already old but he makes the best attire and the royal family wasn't planning to change to any tailor at the moment.

"Are you finished?" You knock on his elm wood door and step back when he opens the door still in his bathrobes

He shakes his head and points at his body "Is this what you expect me to walk around the town with?"

You grin "I don't say anything, but it you're going out like that… i am not taking the duty."

He frowns "Why?" And you chuckle "Because I'm sure the whole town girls will be running after you and I am not risking my life to die in a girl mob chasing after their bathrobe prince."

Taeyong laughs at that and walks inside the room again and you stay put in the door frame.

"Okay, just give me time to change." He walks behind the screen and you only shake your head

"5 minutes or you're buying me a drink." You close the door behind you after hearing a scream of disagreement from him.

He comes down to the grounds late and you're already waiting next to the carriage.

"You don't know how precious time is!" You mutter to him when he climbs in and sits nicely in the cabin

You follow him and sit across him. Taeyong keeps his face to the window and stare at the pretty and colorful flowers. It's spring and the road is covered with spring blooms.

“I wonder what it’s like to just sit on the green grass and stare at the pretty flowers.” his gaze shifts to you and you just give him a “seriously” look

“Um you never do that?” you ask slowly, afraid that you offend him.

Taeyong scratches his neck, suddenly shy that he has to tell you this. “So, mom doesnt want me to play under the sun for too long or I’ll have a tan and she doesnt want that.”

Your jaw falls open and you have to shut it close before Taeyong feels more offended “Pardon my rude behaviour. Well if the Majesty Queen doesn't allow you then you should listen."

He fiddles with his long sleeves and whispers "Can you take me to sit on the grass one day?"

You notice his hint of desperation and you simply nod "Yeah sure as long as there's no sun." You giggle and he groans about your attempt to sound funny. It's not.

"But hey didn't you enjoy a tea under the sun usually?" You suddenly remember the small date he made for you on your duty.

Taeyong rolls his eyes "That was tea time! With loads of food. And chairs and gosh I was not even laying down on the grass!"

You stay silent, not knowing what to answer. The ride to the town remains calm with Taeyong casually asking you about things he doesn't notice before.

With the scenery changing to houses and tiny cottages, your eyes glimmer when you finally see what life beyong the walls looks like. You never really gotten the chance to grow up here, you were sent by your family to work in the castle since a young age. They have no money to send you to school, so giving you to the castle was their best option. Though you were never sitting in a class learning numbers and ABC, you are smart enough to know you belong here and not in the castle like Taeyong.

"I wonder what it's like to live here." You whisper to yourself when you see the town girl hanging around in a market stand laughing with a commoner

Taeyong only hums, not really listening to your words as he too is intrigued by the people here.

The ride ends in front of the humble store of the best tailor. Taeyong jumps down right after you get off and knock on the door.

"I'm sorry we're late, but the prince is here." You notify the tailor's wife and she quickly opens the door for the prince to enter.

Taeyong has been here several times to get his birthday outfits. His daily outfits were usually sent directly to the castle because not much fitting were needed for that. But for special occasions they've been measuring him here and there asking him if he wants more garnish or not.

"I like this. What do you think (y/n)?" He turns his body to face you and you're baffled. You look around wishing that the tailor can just answer him or his butler can say something. But the question was directed on you and only you should answer that.

You nod "Looks very nice." That's the simple comment you made. You always remember the rule that you shouldn't be talking too much to the prince. Your job is to guard him not talk with him. And that's what all of the town also knows.

Taeyong squints his eyes, he really thinks this cloth is too plain, but if you said it's nice that's all he really needs to hear.

"The whole crowd will like you no matter what you use. You’re always the center of the attention Taeyong, why bother.” you let that out and you internally slap yourself for saying that outloud.

The young prince definitely looks surprised, so does the tailor and his butler too.

“Can I have a word with this young lady. Alone.” his voice is deep and dangerous enough. The butler and tailor quickly scurry off the room and close the door so both of you can have the private talk.

You gulp when you notice that you’re doomed. Once everyone is away, Taeyong steps closer to you and you can only keep your eyes on the ground.

“Sorry, that was not supposed to be said out loud. That slipped out of my head.” you quickly bow and keep your eyes on the ground.

Taeyong scoffs “But still you have that thought in your head. Can’t you see it” he sighs in exasperation.

You bite your lips, oh no is this how everything will end? Is he going to be mad and ask you to be thrown away from the castle. As much as you wish to know what it’s like to live in the village and town, you’re not ready yet.

He takes a seat on one of the chairs and takes off his crown. You still stand but several feets away from him. He puts his face on his hands and groans “I don’t want to have the world’s attention, yours is enough.”

You feel heat creeping up your cheeks. Why is he always playing with your heart? He has never clarified what his intention is, flirting and playing around with your emotions. Were you too carried away by his words, what if he only sees you as his guard and he’s just playful to you?

You know you stand no chance to be his significant other, maybe the prince is even banned to think of being interested in someone not a nobel or a princess. You should bury this butterfly and tingly feeling down before it blooms into flowers and suffocates you figuratively and literally. Well who knows how you’ll be punished if the court finds out what’s between you and the prince.

“Please stop whatever this is,” you plead to him “I am supposed to be your guard and you’re the prince. You should be looking for the crowd’s attention and not mine.”

His eyes shake and his shoulder feels heavy, why should she come up with that at moments like this. “Please call them back, I don’t know why you’re always saying that, but can’t you for once think of my feelings.”

You want to lash back and say well what about my feelings, but you keep quiet and do as he says.

He returns to his friendly self, he sounds like nothing happened between both of you. He orders his requests upon the garnish with enthusiasm in his voice. He’s so excited about designing his clothes and of course about the next fitting schedule.

You shake your feelings aside and focus back on your duty. You wait for him outside of the shop when he is bidding his final farewell to the tailor.

“We have time before going back to the castle. I am sorry if I snapped at you earlier,” he tries to reach out for your hands when both of you are already sitting facing each other in the carriage. “It was the tension. I know your feelings are also at stake, or you were thinking I am making fuss out of this.” he chuckles nervously because what if you don’t like him more than what he imagined?

You still pull your hands away and tuck it on your thighs “Sorry, we can’t afford someone to see us holding hands. Come on you’re the prince and I am your personal guard. My job is to only protect you and make sure you’re alive and breathing.”

Taeyong wants to deny all of that but his tongue didn’t move at all when his eyes catch the sign of a bar. “A drink! I owe you a drink.” his eyes glimmer.

You look at him with a big question mark “I was just kidding about that.”

But he shakes his head “I owe you one, let me make up all my ignorance with one drink. What do you say tonight when the guards change shift, meet me in the horse stable?”

You want to say no, and reject his offer. What he’s doing can put him in big trouble. First, breaking the rules of going out at night, second sneaking out, third sneaking out with you for a drink. But once again with his big eyes and sincere smile, all you can do is gulp and nod your head.

“I promise I’ll get you to spill all of your secrets tonight,” Taeyong speaks in his heart as a small smirk appears on his godly face.

Next : expect to find what the “secret” is and maybe some fun with Taeyong but of course angst. If you forget about the secret, head to third post

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part 24) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±9400 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 24: John’s presence at the horse show flips Dean’s world upside down, sending him a tailspin that could have serious consequences. Will Y/N and his friends be able to get through to him? Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: How Do You Get ‘Em Back - David Ramirez. Follow ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @atc74​​​​, and @winchest09​​​​ for helping me. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999​​​​, who has offered me her knowledge about rodeo events like these, and @squirrelnotsam​​​​, who knows Arizona like the back of her hand. Guys, this is going to be a heavy one. 9.3K of angst. If you are invested in this story, I suggest you’ll have the tissues ready before you start reading. Godspeed.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     “Hello, son.”

     Only two words, but it’s more than Dean has heard his father say in a long while. The simple greeting lingers between them, like smog polluting the air, stealing his breath. A force of habit the cowboy assumed was long forgotten has him square his shoulders. After all, if there’s anything John taught him it's that men can’t be weak.

     What does he call him? Dad? Sir? The cowboy isn’t even sure and so he decides to keep his mouth closed. Instead, he measures the man before him. He is but a ghost of the parent Dean remembers - or at least idolized for so long. His boots are dusty and worn, the leather tearing at the creases. His clothes are dirty, stains on the white t-shirt he’s wearing under a camel jacket. He grew a beard, the tough hairs grey now. A black cowboy hat hides most of his slick hair, but they don’t conceal the dark circles under his father’s eyes, nor the tale of pain and sorrow that are still apparent. Nothing has changed, really. He just got older.

     Dean can feel his knees weaken as his breaths come out shaky, but he is able to stand his ground. He sets his jaw, gritting away the frustration that continues to build, his fists clenched, nails digging into his palm. But it’s more than just aggravation that courses through him; it’s joined with an overwhelming sense of panic and fear. He wants to run, far away from confrontations and the dull blade that is tearing open old wounds. What he would give to go back in time, just an hour or so, to prevent this moment. What he would give to be able to live the life he naively pictured, with his family, with Y/N. 

     Meanwhile, John watches him, eyes glossed over and wearing a small smile. “It’s good to see you.”      Still, Dean can’t speak. He just stares at his father. Even the gentle words falling from John’s chapped lips don’t lift the tension. Where Dean was thankful that the stables were empty just a few minutes ago, he now wishes it was swarming with people, because being cut out from the public eye is not a position the cowboy wants his girlfriend to be in. When John steps closer hesitatingly, Dean moves in front of her, one hand back to make sure she stays behind him. It’s instinct, a reaction that is fed by years of doing the same for Sammy. He did everything possible to protect his brother then, and now he has to do the same for her. Dean has to get her out of here. Now.

     The cowboy turns his head slightly, addressing Y/N without letting his old man out of his sight. “You should get Joplin warmed up. I’ll be right there.”      “Dean? Are you s--”      “Go,” he insists, wincing at the strict tone of his own voice. 

     John has halted and watches the exchange, his gaze following the cowgirl who moves to the box on her right and takes off the halter of a black horse inside the stable. Without a word but with concern and confusion evident in her eyes - which flick to his before she averts them quickly - she takes the Quarter by the reins and guides the mare out of the stable. When she’s out of earshot, Dean’s father returns his focus to his son.      “That your girlfriend?” he wonders.      “No,” the wrangler claims, wanting to keep her out of this at all costs. John doesn’t have to know about his relationships with her or with his friends. It will make them vulnerable to his influence. “She’s just an intern,” he adds.

     Believing the statement to be true, he dips his chin, nodding slightly, and Dean is able to exhale. At least he got Y/N out of harm’s way, now he just needs to somehow prepare himself to take the fire. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s time to face the faults of the past. He  allowed the family to fall apart on that dreadful night when the bond between the Winchesters was shattered to pieces. Dean destroyed it all.

     Carefully, his old man moves closer once more, and involuntarily the young cowboy steps back. He doesn’t want to. He intends to stand tall and hold position, but trepidation has him back up before he can stop himself. Apparently aware of the effect he has on Dean, John ceases his attempt to close the unbreachable gap between father and son. 

     Leaving a safe distance between them, he speaks again. “You’ve grown up to be quite the man, Dean. Your aunt and uncle must have taken good care of you.”      More than you’ve ever done, Dean thinks to himself, but he doesn’t say it out loud, too apprehensive for the reaction it might trigger. “They have.”     “Well, I’m glad,” John smiles at the ground. “I’m glad you landed on your feet. Do you know if Sammy did too?”

     Dean’s eyes fill to the brim before he can blink. He doesn’t know. The big brother who was supposed to look out for him, who was supposed to give everything to provide his younger sibling the safety and care that he deserved, doesn’t know. The question is a punch in the gut, a verification of the fact that he has failed Sam like he has failed so many others.      “I don’t,” he admits, doing everything in his power to keep his voice steady. “I haven’t seen him since.”

     John sighs, sniffles slightly and glances up, as if he’s mad for a prayer that has been left unanswered. The news does a number on the old guy, and suddenly Dean feels sorry for the man standing before him. His father was already lost when their mother died, and it only got worse when Sam disappeared. The agony it triggered has never left him, just like it never left his son. That loss will always remain, a piece of their heart cut away violently, leaving a hole that bleeds to this day. They both had to settle for a life without Mary and the youngest Winchester in it. As much as Dean wants to hate his father, he simply can’t. He wouldn’t want to wish that kind of torture upon anyone, let alone his dad. It doesn’t matter how many mistakes he has made.

     “I’m sorry to hear that. I hoped that maybe…” John pauses, shaking his head slightly. “I hoped you boys at least found your way back to each other.” 

     Dean swallows with difficulty, his bottom lashes barely clinging to the tears that threaten to roll down his face, but he manages to keep it together. He wishes the same, because life without his sibling feels incomplete. God, he misses Sam. And all that guilt, the sorrow, and the uncertainty of his well-being come rushing back to him in a magnitude that he can’t cope with.

     John watches his son again, a grown man now, yet still his boy. “I was wondering if maybe we could sit down someday. Have a drink or something, y’know? Try and put this all behind us?”

     Astonished, Dean stares at him. A part of him wants to mend this broken relationship, but John must be aware that rekindling the father-son bond will never undo all the trauma their family endured. There’s no going back to how things were, there is no returning to the time the Winchesters were happy. Mom died, and her death set them on a course of total ruination. And yet, Dean can’t answer. He can’t tell his father ‘no’.

     “John Winchester!”      Hasty footsteps echo between the stable walls, and when the conflicted cowboy glances past his father, he notices Bobby, moving closer with determined strides. A shuddering sigh of relief escapes Dean, and he’s glad the man opposite of him turns around to face his former brother-in-law so that he doesn’t witness the sign of weakness. With his uncle here, he instantly feels safer, knowing that even if this conversation develops into an argument, he has back-up now. 

     The elder man holds a fury in his eyes that is visible even in the shadows of the worn ball cap he always wears. “You better walk away,” he warns.      “We were just talkin’,” John assures, calmly.      “I don’t care if you are holding a family reunion,” Bobby sneers. “If you don’t leave right now, I will get my gun and blast your sorry ass so full of buckshot that you will never sit in a saddle again without scratching the leather.”

     Dean’s gaze bounces between his father and his uncle, weary of the clash that is about to kick off, as the two older men keep their eyes locked on each other, tension rising by the second. But then, against his expectations, John gives in to Bobby’s request and steps aside. He glances back at his son one last time, giving him a sad smile, before he breaks away and strolls off, shoulders slumped and defeat obvious.

     Collecting himself by taking a breath and blowing it out as slowly as he can, the younger cowboy makes eye contact with his uncle, who approaches him until he’s in arm’s reach. He puts his hand on the back of Dean’s neck, gently encouraging the troubled young man to look at him, hoping the touch will ground his nephew.      “You alright?” Bobby asks, the lines in his forehead deepening as he frowns.      Dean swallows down the lump in his throat and nods, his lips pressed together in a firm line. He can’t speak and has to break away from his uncle’s observant gaze. Bobby’s grip loosens; he’s aware that Dean isn’t ready to expose his true feelings about this unfortunate run-in.      “I’m gonna make sure he leaves the premises,” he assures.      With those words, the man - who once again has provided him safety - turns away to follow John, committed to matching action with his words if the guy doesn’t take his threat seriously. 

     Finally alone, the unsettled cowboy tries to inhale again, but his diaphragm seems to have risen to chest height. He can feel anxiety like he has never experienced before in his adult life get a grip on him, and whatever he tries, he can’t stop it. Afraid that his legs might give way, he takes a step to the side and holds on to one of the stable bars, but he still can’t breathe. Unable to hold the frontline in the battle he’s fighting with the overwhelming sense of distress, the tears break through his defense, spilling down his cheeks. Suddenly, he feels sick. He needs to get out, he needs fresh air.

     Feeling the bile creeping up from deep inside him as he stumbles outside, he quickly turns the corner behind the tent before he heaves this morning’s partly digested breakfast into the grass. He throws up everything he has been holding, hoping the anguish will leave his body as well, but it doesn’t. When his stomach is empty, he is still left with the same misery.      “Fuck,” he chokes out, steadying himself against the steel corner pillar of the stable.      He wipes at his runny nose and his tears, sniffling. Get a hold of yourself, Dean, he lectures, you need to keep it together now. He straightens his back, looking down at the mess he made, closing his eyes for a second as he pulls in a careful breath. 

     “Dean?”      Recognizing his friend’s voice, the cowboy turns around. Benny stands behind him, worry in his clear blue eyes. Manning up and finding his footing again, Dean walks up to meet him. The Southerner hands him a bottle of water, and even though the receiver is thankful for having something to rinse his mouth with, he wishes it to be something a whole lot stronger.

     Taking a swig, he lets it wash away the sour taste before he spits it onto the ground. After another attempt he realizes that it’s no use and takes a careful sip this time, swallowing it down to put out the fire inside his chest. He glances at Benny, giving him a nod.      “I - I’m good,” he says, not just trying to convince his companion. “I’m good.”

     Knowing him well, his best friend doesn’t contradict him, even though it’s clear as day the statement is far from the truth. Dean’s eyes are bloodshot, his hand trembling when he moves the bottle to his mouth.      “You might wanna get to the warm-up,” Benny reminds him, handing him the headset.      The wrangler grimaces. “Shit, yeah. What time is it?”      “Two-thirty. Her starting time is in twenty-five minutes,” the Southerner says.      “I gotta get goin’,” Dean realizes after cursing again, moving past him to make his way to the arena. He holds up the water bottle as he jogs away. “Thanks.”

     Hoping his friend will understand that he’s thanking him for a lot more than just the drink, he hastens away. Right now, he has someone else who needs his support. Y/N has left the stables well over fifteen minutes ago, so he hopes she’s not nervous because of his late arrival. When he finally reaches the fence, he spots her amongst the other riders, warming up Joplin. He can tell she’s focused, or is she upset with him for not being on time? Finding it hard to read her from a distance, he sums it up to a mixture of both. Without disturbing the other competitors, he bends down to duck under the barrier, approaching her and her horse. But when she ignores him completely and continues to work the Quarter on a small circle, he hesitates. 

     “Y/N?” he calls out, not sure if she saw him from inside her bubble.      “What?” she snaps.      Taken aback by her reaction, he watches how she keeps circling, slowing down to a walk, but still not stopping to take the headset or even grant him a look.      “C’mon, let me help you,” he ushers, holding up the device for her.      But when she looks him in the eye, the coldness they behold frightens him. “Why do you even care?” she wonders. “I’m ‘just an intern’ anyway.”

     Like she just slapped him across the face, Dean stares at the cowgirl, the daggers she’s shooting at him with her powerful gaze stabbing him right in the heart. No no no, he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes. She wasn’t supposed to hear him say that to his father. He labeled her as an intern only to make sure John wouldn’t be able to get to Dean through his girlfriend. Of course he didn’t mean a word of it! He has to make her understand.      “Yankee, I’m sorry. I--”      “Forget it, Dean. I can handle myself,” she snarls. “Leave me alone.”

     With that, she moves away from her boyfriend, riding Joplin to the other side of the warm-up ring, as far from him as possible. Regretful, her trainer saunters back towards the fence, making his way out of the ring. When he straightens himself, he is met by Jo, who has her arms crossed in front of her chest as she narrows her eyes at her cousin. It’s clear as day that she’s about to rip him a new one as well.      “What did you do?” she demands to know, sternly.

     Dean looks at her, opening his mouth to answer, but unable to even utter a word. I fucked up, that’s what I did, he realizes. Like he has fucked up everything else that was ever good in his life. He doesn’t reply, though, and instead shakes his head, admitting his loss.      “Here.” Dean hands her the small device with a microphone attached to it, his fingers still trembling. “Help her if she needs assistance, alright?”      Perplexed, she watches him walk off. She at least expected a counter with a claim that he didn’t do anything wrong.      “You’re not gonna even watch her ride?” she asks before he’s too far gone.      “I’ll watch from the bleachers. I don’t wanna distract her,” he returns, sadly looking into her eyes before he carries on.

     Observing her cousin, an uneasy feeling settles in her stomach. The guilt is oozing from him in great amounts as he disappears in the crowd, his head hanging, the usual upbeat attitude nowhere to be found. What has gotten into him? Something must have happened, something bad. She can’t recall the last time she has seen him this troubled, not since… Jo’s eyes grow a little larger, her brows that were knitted together a moment ago now rising. Suddenly it dawns on her; she hasn’t seen him so thrown into disarray since he arrived at the ranch at fourteen years of age. She might have been only eight at the time, but those memories lingered. The sight of a kid so scared, so depressed, and so broken left an impression. Even as a little girl she knew he had been through hell, and by the looks of her cousin now, it seems like those dark days are catching up with him.

     Jo wants to go after the poor guy, but she knows she can’t abandon her best friend. When the steward calls out Y/N’s name, announcing she’s up next, she focuses on the rider again. Right now she is her main priority, because whatever happened between the intern and the wrangler, Jo knows she’s Dean’s priority too.

     “Ready?” she checks while quickly drying Joplin with a towel before they head towards the gate.      “Yeah, I am,” Y/N assures, pushing Dean from her thoughts.      “Remember that it’s fine to pick your first cow from the side of the herd, okay? Don’t set the bar too high. It’s your first time,” the blonde cowgirl offers.      “I know,” she assures, even though she’s not planning on playing it safe.

     The frustration has morphed into determination, a strong will to prove that she can manage just fine and that Bobby has every reason to dote on her. She much rather feels aggravated than insecure, so she allows the anger to flood the worry, shutting out her usual insecurity. She’s not going to let anyone down, especially not herself. 

     Concentrated, she goes to the gate, eye for the prize. Joplin already has her ears perked towards the cattle, knowing it’s game time. The clock starts to tick, and with confidence, she guides Joplin through the group of heifers, picking one dead in the middle to single out.

     She doesn’t know Dean is watching from the sidelines, and intense sadness filling his soul. She doesn’t know how proud he is when she makes two amazing cuts and she scores 73 points, outclassing him. She doesn’t know that he’s very much aware that his girl doesn’t need him anymore.

     Swift strokes brush the dirt out of Joplin’s dark coat. Dust particles dance in the air, illuminated by the orange rays of the setting sun that fall through the window of the stable. The mare allows the pampering, on hindleg resting on its toe, her head hanging low. Big, brown eyes are half closed, falling shut every once in a while. Sleep almost taking the normally feisty horse, the grooming having a relaxing effect on her. It’s almost as if she realizes she’s about to go on a new adventure, and she’s taking this moment to recharge after her run.

     Jody has matched Joplin with a great family. A sixteen-year-old girl will be riding her. The teenager and her parents came to meet her new horse right after the great performance, absolutely beaming, knowing this wonderful animal was now theirs. In about fifteen minutes, Joplin’s new owners will be here to take her to their farm in Alamo, New Mexico. The family promised to give the Quarter a forever home, and they showed Y/N pictures of the beautiful barn where the little dark horse is going to live. She’s going to a good place, but the farewell remains bittersweet.

     Once the Joplin is thoroughly cleaned, her rider takes her by the halter, raking her fingers through her mane. Y/N has never been good at saying goodbye, but it’s time now.      “Be good, okay?” she whispers, letting her hands gently run down the horse’s neck. “And don’t pin your ears back too much. People are gonna think you’re mean, but I know you’re a softy.”

     Joplin breathes out a sigh through her nose as if answering the person who has been her companion for the past month. It’s peculiar how fast a bond between human and animal can form. There has been a connection between them since the first time Y/N saddled her up for a trail. The thought of buying the beautiful Quarter herself has crossed the cowgirl’s mind ever since she learned Bobby planned to sell her, but no matter how difficult, this is also an aspect of the business that she needs to get used to. When she will finally have her own stables in a year's time, horses will come and go. She can’t keep every one of them, and so she needs to set Joplin free.

     Judging by the hollow sounds under the tent’s roof, the new owners are on their way. She can distinguish Jody’s voice, and Bobby’s too. A girl with long, brown hair and bright eyes peers over the stable door, already glancing at the beautiful horse lovingly.      “I bought her new transport boots,” she announces enthusiastically. “Wouldn’t want her to get hurt on the trailer. I also got a rug for when it gets a little colder during the night. Do you think she will like that?”      The teenager holds up a red, woolen rug, which matches the leg protection perfectly. Y/N chuckles at the sight. Joplin is going to get so spoiled.      “Those look amazing.” She reaches for one of the boots. “Here, let me help.”

     They strap on the protective wear together while Bobby, Jody, and the parents close the deal on the other side of the alleyway. After the money is counted, the ranch owner hands over the horse’s passport together with a certificate of ownership, shaking their hands once more. Y/N waits for her boss to look her way, wondering if he - as owner - should give Joplin away, but the old man gives her a friendly nod, telling her without words that she will have the honor.

     “Well, I guess this is it,” she says, fumbling with the leadrope. “She’s yours now.”      “Thank you,” the young cowgirl returns. “We will take good care of her. Promise.”      Not trusting her voice, the Y/N smiles warmly, but there isn’t a doubt in her mind that the family will. She doesn’t want to get emotional, it wouldn’t be professional after all. And so she does her very best to blink the mist from her eyes when she offers the leadrope, handing over Joplin to her new owner.

     The family who just gained an additional member exits the stables, heading to the trailers to start their journey home. The rider, the trader, and the rancher watch them leave, all with smiles on their faces. Everyone involved in this sale wins. Y/N can’t help it, though, and has to wipe a lonely tear from her cheek. Jody, who notices, wraps an arm around her shoulder, sheltering and comforting.      “Sorry,” the cowgirl excuses, a little embarrassed.      “Don’t be sorry, honey,” she dismisses sweetly. “Caring matters, especially when money comes into play. Someone who cares has far better judgment than someone who’s greedy. Remember that.”      Y/N smiles at the wise words, storing that piece of advice with all the others she has picked up along the way. 

     “Pretty good ride,” Bobby compliments his intern, in his own way trying to cheer her up. “Especially at your first cutting class.”      Jody glances aside at the ranch owner, not impressed with his choice of words, before pulling the cowgirl closer into a side hug. “Pretty good? Are you kidding me? You absolutely slayed it! If you’re not giving that girl a rider’s fee, I will.”      “Oh, that’s really not necessary,” Y/N objects.      “No, you deserve it,” he insists while leafing through the hundred dollar bills in a large envelope.      “Bobby, it’s okay. I am already super grateful for everything I’m learning and the experiences that I’m gaining. You have already given me a room and a stable, not to mention Ellen’s cooking. You really don’t have to pay me.” 

     Y/N shortly places her hand on her boss’s to seize his actions, wanting him to stop counting. The Gold Canyon Ranch might have made good money over the past three days, yet that doesn’t mean a financial disaster is avoided. She doesn’t want a share.      The old man holds her gaze and she can tell he’s wondering if either Dean or Jo have spilled a little too much information. Maybe it is because of that assumption that he settles and lets it go.     “At least lemme buy you a drink, huh?” he offers before he turns to his business partner. “I just have to round a few things up with Jody here.”      “Alright, see you in a bit,” Y/N returns.

     As the two business partners walk off to look for a private place where Bobby can give the woman who has made the sale possible her commissioner’s fee, the cowgirl slips into the tack room. She decides to start packing, since the crew presumingly will leave in a couple of hours. She has to keep busy, but Dean breaks into thoughts straight away. Sighing deeply, the cowgirl tries to wrap her head around her boyfriend’s reasoning. His words, which had her freeze to the ground for a second as she left him with his father, still ring in her ears. She’s just an intern. Why would he say such a thing? Why hadn’t he expressed that she is his girlfriend? Why did he never mention his father to her? And if he isn’t even able to talk to her about his family, what else is he hiding?

     Her train of thought is interrupted by Jo, who hastily rushes around the corner, her restless eyes searching the tack room before she checks the stables.      “Have you seen Dean?” she asks, concerned.      “No,” Y/N bitterly answers.      “Okay, enough.” Jo places her hands on her hips, shifting her weight to one leg. “What the hell is going on with you two?”      “You tell me,” her friend responds coldly. “I was under the impression we were doing just fine until Dean wasn’t even able to introduce me. Clearly, I value our relationship more than he does.”

     “What are you talking about? He’s crazy about you,” the blonde cowgirl reminds her.      “Is he?” Y/N spins on her heels, finally looking her in the eye. “Because for someone who claims to care about me, he sure keeps an awful lot of secrets.”      Jo sighs. “Look, I know Dean isn’t the guy who’s very chatty about those kinds of things, but what makes you say that he doesn’t care?”      “Because he couldn’t even tell his family - who he failed to tell me about, by the way - that I’m his girlfriend! He told his father that I am just an int--”      “Whoa whoa, wait. His father?” Her best friend stares at her bug-eyed, needing a moment to process the information. “His father is here?!”      “Yeah, he showed up in the stables earlier to visit him, before I got on Joplin,” she confirms, somewhat confused by her shocked expression.      Jo steps towards the intern, grabbing both her shoulders and looking at her intensely. “Are you absolutely sure?”      Y/N shrugs a little, not understanding the earnesty. “He looked a lot like Dean, and he called him his son, so I’m assuming.”

     Her best friend just gapes at her, her cousin’s demeanor by the warm-up ring suddenly making much more sense. If he had an encounter with his father, his entire world just got turned upside down. Judging by how messed up he was when his only living parent left him to rot when he was still a child, she can only imagine what his return after all that time has set in motion.

     “We need to find Dean, now,” she says, grabbing her friend by the wrist and pulling her out of the tack room. “I’ll explain along the way.”      Unsettled, Y/N fastens her pace to jog next to the ranch owner’s daughter. “Jo, what’s going on?”      “Dean didn’t lie to you when he said that he hadn’t seen his family in a while. In fact, the two haven’t been in contact for fifteen years,” she explains as they exit the stables.

     Stunned by the revelation, the cowgirl next to her tries to make sense of it all. Fifteen years? Why would he have cut all ties with his dad for fifteen years? She can’t possibly imagine doing such a thing. Something horrible must have happened, something beyond comprehension.      “That still doesn’t explain why he described me as anything else but his girlfriend,” Y/N  brings up.      “Listen, you don’t know John. He is a manipulative son of a bitch who has played dirty mind games before. If Dean let on that you were just someone working at the ranch, he was trying to protect you.”      Y/N stops dead in her tracks, her hand which is still entwined with Jo’s causing her friend to spin around. “He w - what?” 

     “You need to talk to him,” her friend insists, dragging her into motion again. “My guess is that he found a place to be alone or he’s liquoring up. Either way, your man is spiraling out of control and he's gonna need his girl in order to get out of that vicious circle.”      “He - he won’t talk to me,” she stammers. “Not after how I was with him before my run. God, I can’t believe I was so self-absorbed. I thought he didn’t want me there because he was embarrassed of me, and you’re telling me he was making sure I was safe?”

     Jo wishes her companion wouldn’t put herself down like that, because the blonde cowgirl honestly gets why she reacted the way she did, being unaware of the family drama. She never thought the day would come, but here she is, defending her cousin’s honor.

     “Like I said; he’s crazy about you, Sis. He has never been like this with somebody else, so if there’s anyone who can through to him it’s you. He might try to--”      “- push me away, I know. That’s kind of his thing. I won’t let him,” Y/N promises.      Jo nods at that, glad she was able to convince her. “Good, now we just have to find him.”

     They arrive at the square where all the shops are situated, most of the stand holders packing their unsold products into cars and onto trailers. The sun has disappeared behind the horizon, the skies painted with red. There are a few people around, music coming from the tent further up where the after-party is in full swing. They meet Benny at the crossing, though, who is looking for his friend as well.      “Have you seen him?” Y/N asks the farrier, who has the same worried frown on his face as the girls.      “I tried the trailers, but no luck,” Benny says. “Stables?”      But she shakes her head. “We were just there.”

     The three glance aside when a group of young guys stumbles out of the tent, alternated colored beams in their wake, coming from the disco lights inside. The concern that has Jo’s intestines in knots worsens, because if Dean has hit the bar, reasoning with him is going to be problematic. 

     Y/N enters the tent, backed up by the other two members of the Gold Canyon Ranch. The band plays a happy, upbeat country song that contradicts the alarming anxiety and dread that is riding her nerves like a racetrack. Frantically, she looks around, trying to identify her boyfriend amongst the crowd. She doesn’t see him in the booths on her right, nor around the dancefloor which she and Dean owned two nights prior. Once she convinces him that she understands why he said those things and that he did nothing wrong, she can wrap her arms around him again, comfort him with a kiss and ask him for another dance. He can continue to be the wonderful, supportive boyfriend, making her laugh and making her smile, lifting her up and making her feel appreciated. They can go back to how things were.

     Trying to convince herself that everything is going to be fine, she moves through the mass of people towards the beer taps, when she stops suddenly, the wind being knocked from her lungs by the sight in front of her. At the end of the bar, she finds Dean. Not nursing a beer, sad and alone like she expected to find him, but in company of the same girl who was all over him on Friday night as well; Jamie. The cowboy, already intoxicated, leaning into her when the blonde whispers something in his ear, touching his arm as she does. A blind man would be able to see the chemistry, their conversation easy and carefree. The beautiful girl seated on the stool next to her boyfriend doesn’t show a sign of insecurity, her cheerful and confident personality matching Dean’s perfectly. She is everything Y/N isn’t.

     Unable to move, she watches the film play out before her, a story of fun and romance that will push her story with Dean to a tragic end. Tears begin to fill her eyes, her breath hitching in her throat. A part of her hopes that he will turn around and see the devastation that his actions are causing, but he doesn’t, occupied by the gorgeous old flame which seems to have ignited something new. He doesn’t even see me, she realizes. He doesn’t see her, because once again it has been made perfectly clear she’s not worth holding on to. That has always been the case whenever it came to love, hasn’t it? So why on earth did she think that with Dean it was going to be any different? And just like that, she’s back to being invisible again. 

     Abruptly, Y/N turns around, desperately needing to get out of the buzzing atmosphere, but she collides with Jo the second she does.      “Woah! Where are you--” Jo steadies her friend when she almost falls over, holding her by her arms. Stunned, she stares into her eyes, noticing how they are glazed over with absolute heartbreak. “What’s going on?”

     But Y/N just shakes her head, moving past her hastily; she can’t stay here a second longer. The upset girl struggles towards the exit and ignores Benny, who watches her departure, perplexed. When he straightens himself again, he glances at Jo, as much confusion on his features as on hers. But when his focus locks on his buddy at the bar, his face falls.      “That son of a bitch,” he mutters, his remark triggering the blonde cowgirl before him to turn around as well.

     Jo’s jaw falls slack, observing as the two order another round of shots. She can’t believe what she’s seeing. She can’t believe she’s witnessing the man who she thought had made a change for the better, now making a turn for the worse. Frustration boils inside of the petite yet feisty woman, who is biting down hard on her bottom lip when she faces Benny again.      “You talk some sense into him before he really crosses the line,” she directs. “I’m gonna go after Y/N and see if I can repair the damage.”

     The broad-shouldered wrangler nods and watches Jo take off before he goes in the other direction. He pushes through the mass of people who are enjoying the last party of the event, all oblivious to the dramatic scene they are all a part of. He senses that the drama might become a whole lot worse if he doesn’t manage to pull Dean’s head off his ass.

     “What do you think you’re doin’, brother?” Benny claps his hand on his friend’s shoulder, interrupting him before he downs the shot waiting for him on the bar.      He scoffs. “What does it look like?”      “Seems to me you’re about to get a lil’ too friendly with a gal that ain’t yours,” the farrier says with a lowered voice, hoping it will enlighten him.      “We’re just having a drink,” Dean counters, annoyed, reaching for the glass in front of him, but Benny pushes it out of reach.      “Do you think that’s what Y/N saw too when she was here just now?”      Now he does get the cowboy’s attention, common sense finally pushing to the forefront. “She was here?” he questions, dumbfounded.      “Yep, and you’ve got somethin’ to fix. Let’s go,” Benny suggests, his large hand flat on his companion’s back calmly pushing him off the chair and onto his feet, both men giving Jamie a short nod before they leave the party.

     The fresh air slaps Dean in the face when he exits the tent, sobering him up enough to realize how bad he screwed up. He knew it was a horrible idea to do the one thing his dad always did when the pain got too much to bear; hit the alcohol and drown his sorrow. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter how hard he fights, no matter how different he aspires to be, he will always be just like his father. The same ego-centric, selfish and spineless dick that breaks everything he touches. 

     When the two men stop in the middle of the square, Benny looks around, trying to find the girls. He doesn’t spot them sitting at any of the outside tables, nor by the restrooms.      “It don’t matter, I already fucked it up anyway,” Dean mutters when his friend glances between the market shops.      The farrier pauses his search and gazes at him superciliously through half-lidded eyes. “No disrespect, Chief, but what the hell is wrong with you?”      “You really want me to get started on that list? Because if so, we’re gonna be here for a while,” the wrangler returns snarky, avoiding his friend’s blue eyes, taking a few steps away with his hands on his hips.      “John showing up here is not y—”      “Don’t!” Dean interrupts with venom in his voice, spinning around and pointing a firm finger at Benny. “Don’t you dare bring up my father.”

     He’s trembling, the anger that ran in John’s blood for years now raging through his veins. Fire sets alight his insides, flames dancing in his pupils that glare at his comrade warningly. The Southerner takes a tentative step towards him, realizing he needs to get through to Dean, but has to handle the subject as carefully as possible.      “You are not him. I know this,” he speaks slow. “I know you love Y/N, too.”

     But Dean scoffs and shakes his head, not just denying that he does, but refusing to allow himself that kind of fulfillment. He was stupid to even think that he ever had a chance with her. It was just a matter of time before it all would come crashing down on him, ruining everything that he never deserved in the first place. He can’t love her, because if he does, she will fall victim to him, just like he did to his dad.

     “Listen, brother. You’re not seein’ straight right now, but you can still make this right,” Benny continues. “You care too much about her to just throw in the towel. Remember when she first came to the ranch? You were smitten the second she walked through those doors. You called dibs on her for a reason.”

     The cowboy’s shoulders rise as he inhales deeply and fall again when he blows out a breath. Of course he remembers. He remembers the first time he laid eyes on her over his poker cards, how she responded to him from across the saloon. He remembers how she gave him a run for his money when he came on too strong. He remembers how he panicked when she didn’t seem interested and the idea of her being with someone else had him strike an agreement with his best mate. He remembers the rides, their first kiss, the moment i--      “You called dibs on me?”

     Stunned by the unexpected voice, both men turn to where it came from. Benny gulps thickly when he notices Y/N stepping from under the awning of one of the food trucks, Jo in her shadow. Even in the dim glow from the overhanging strings of lightbulbs, he can see her eyes shimmer with despair.      “Y/N, it ain’t as bad as it s--”      But the cowgirl cuts him off immediately, shooting Benny a glare. “You can stop with the Southern smooth talk. I need to talk to Dean alone.”

     After exchanging looks over the course of several uncomfortable seconds, both Benny and Jo step aside, sauntering away from the couple. Once their friends have disappeared behind one of the trailers, Y/N returns her focus to her boyfriend again, her judgemental stare boring into his soul.      “I asked you a question,” she repeats, managing to prevent her voice from trembling. “Did you make some kind of pact with your buddies?”

     Dean doesn’t answer, but he sets his jaw, the muscles flexing under his stubble. He lifts his eyes from the ground for a moment, glancing over before he averts them again. The woman standing a few feet away from him chuckles cynically; she knows enough.

     “So what, women are like cattle to you? This is a funny bet?”      The cowboy frustratingly shakes his head once. “You know it’s not.”      “Do I?!” Y/N returns, her tone sharper and higher than anticipated. “Because if this isn’t just a game, then why did you shove me aside for some blonde broad--”      “For fuck’s sake, we were just having a drink! We had this argument already!” Dean snaps, throwing his arms to the side.

     Taken aback by the hostility, Y/N stares at him. She has seen this anger before, but just a glimpse of it. It was when Ash lost his job and blamed them, in particular Dean, who took the acquisitions hard. That evening it was mostly guilt that triggered the cowboy to lash out to her and the second he realized he had upset her, he apologized. But now an apology doesn’t even seem to cross his mind that is clouded by darkness far greater. At this point, she’s not sure if she would be able to accept it anyway.

     “Well, it didn’t make much of a difference, now did it?” she returns after using the dreadful silence to recover.      “Apparently not,” Dean scoffs, shifting his unfocused gaze aside.      Mulling over the chain of events that have led to this moment, he swallows with difficulty, indignation taking off the heat for a bit, stopping it from boiling over. The calm gives Y/N enough courage to step closer.      “Dean, I know today was a whirlwind. I know - I’m aware that what happened in the stables earlier has sent you into a tailspin,” she sympathizes, careful not to mention his father after witnessing his outburst with Benny when he did, “but this isn’t you.”

     The disheartened guy before her huffs again, sardonic and hopeless. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Because it’s exactly who he is. This is who he was always destined to be. It’s how he was raised, it’s in his DNA. For two months he allowed himself to hope that maybe he could change, that maybe he could be better than the poor excuse of a man his father was. Y/N gave him that pipe dream, and even though it’s unreasonable to be upset with her for seeing the good in him, it’s amongst one of the many frustrations he’s experiencing. 

     “It is. This -” Dean points at himself, his upper lip twitching with disgust. “- this is who I am.”      She shakes her head, not ready to give up. “It’s not. You are kind, loving, your heart is--”      “You don’t know me!” He exclaims, running a hand through his hair and trapping the light-brown locks between his fingers before he gestures wildly. “You think you do, but you don’t have a fucking clue! I haven’t told you anything about my life--”      “Then talk to me!” Y/N yells back as he turns away from her.      “I CAN’T!!” 

     Dean is facing her again, vexation flaring in his emerald green eyes. His heart beats so vigorously that it has his entire body pulsating. He takes her in, the beautiful young woman who he fell for, and he can see that her hope is fading. It pains him to hurt her, but he’s left with no choice. Being angry with him will make things easier, though. It will help her move on. If she is going to feel sorry for him, the pity would only prompt the caring girl to hold on and try to piece the shattered shards back together, and he can’t let that happen, simply because it’s useless. He refuses to take her down with him, to burden her with the same demons that he has to live with. He can’t do that to her, not to the one he loves. She’s way too good for him, so pure, so selfless and gentle. She’s everything he shouldn’t have, everything he isn’t worthy of. It’s better this way, it’s better to end it now. 

     “I can’t. Who you think I am, it’s not me. I’ve been lying to you, pretending. I can’t be the person you need me to be,” he claims, calmer now that he knows what he has to do.

     Y/N’s breathing picks up slightly, the air leaving her with a shudder each time. His words seem so definite already, but he can’t possibly believe that they are not right for each other, can he? All those moments they shared, all the affection he offered; that was real. That was him. Why can’t he see he’s exactly the man she needs?      “And what person is that?” she questions, hoping that whatever argument he fires back, she can turn around.

     Dean is quiet for a few seconds, thinking about a fitting answer. The profound fondness he feels for her begins to resurface and it’s tearing him apart. She needs to understand that the fairytale they have been living is a facade he can’t continue to maintain. Dreams never last forever, this is where they wake up.      “You need a guy who is honest, who you can trust. Look at us; I can’t even bring myself to tell you about my family, my past, or anything for that matter,” he reminds her.      “I knew what I was in for, Dean. I don’t expect you to spill every dark secret you think you have. You don’t have to spell out everything to be with me. We can work it out!” she argues desperately.      But the cowboy shakes his head, feeling the sorrow brim in his eyes. He wants her to be right so bad, but he knows he can’t live a lie.      “You don’t get it, okay? I’m a fucking mess. I did things that are unforgivable. I don’t have my shit together, but you do,” he says, a sad smile barely pulling at the corner of his mouth. “You know exactly where you wanna go in life, what you want to achieve.”      She steps closer, praying that if he lets her, she can eventually bridge the space between them.      “We can do that together,” she pleads with all the hope she has left.      “We can’t,” he returns, having gathered every bit of strength to look at her before he pronounces the words who he knows are the truth. “This isn’t gonna work.” 

     The tears that have gathered become too much even for a dam to withhold roll down her cheeks now. An already unbearable ache gets worse, her heart physically hurting and taking up so much space that Y/N feels like she can’t breathe. He can’t be doing this. He can’t pull the plug, not after all the epic moments they shared. Every warm look, every gentle touch, every loving kiss; every blissful memory. How can he possibly let go of that?      Refusal has her reach out to him, one last attempt to repair what is already broken. “Dean, stop… Why are you hurting me like this?” she cries.

     The cowboy drops his gaze while fighting the tears and the grief for what he’s losing. He wants to reach out too, take her hand in his, but he can’t cave now, he can’t be selfish. He has to do this for her.      “Because if I don’t, if I allow this to go any further, it’s gonna hurt a lot more.”      Dean fixates on anything but Y/N, no longer able to endure the sight of her falling apart in front of him. It’s dreadfully quiet as if the world stopped turning, and in a way, for the two individuals in the middle of the square, it just did.      “So - so what? This is it?” she stammers, her voice barely a whisper. “You’re breaking up with me?”      Biting his lip now, he focuses on what this decision will offer the woman at arm’s reach. An uncomplicated life in which she can pursue her dreams without having to worry about someone dragging her down. She can be free to do whatever she wishes and that’s all he can ask for. But in order to provide her with that opportunity, he has to let her go.      “Yeah. We’re over.”

     Like a bullet fired from a gun, the defining words rip through her chest and pierce her heart. The silence after the shot is deafening, canceling out the sounds of their surroundings. The streaming pathways of desolation gather at the end of her chin and drip down on the dry soil, enough to darken the dust. Her eyes are glued on him, though, but he doesn’t return her gaze. The conclusion of their relationship sinks in with every passing second, leaving her soul in ruins. It’s over. They are over. And there is nothing she can do to change the course of history.

     Unable to be in his presence, she forces her feet to move, turning away from the man she is no longer with. Dean can’t watch her leave, fixed on the dark earth where her tears fell just moments ago. From his peripheral vision, he notices Jo rushing by to go after her friend. Good, he thinks to himself, she’ll have someone to lean on. 

     After standing there for what feels like an hour, he takes a few hesitant steps towards one of the trailers, placing both hands flat on the metal, searching for something to ground him while he closes his eyes and lets his head hang. He can’t find it, though, not in the cold steel, not in his reasoning behind this brutal decision. The resentment builds again, and Dean pulls his right hand back, balls his fist, and almost puts a dent into the barrier before him. The action only confirms what he deep down knew to be true all along. All that rage, the self-hatred; he can’t bottle it up forever, so it’s for the best that Y/N will no longer be there to witness it. 

     Dean bends his elbows, his forearms now pressed against the iron and his forehead resting between his clenching fists, as he struggles to pull in a shaky breath. He feels like he’s imploding, the outer frame of his structure caving in on itself. His mouth falls open, his bottom lip trembling, then he allows the tears to cascade down his face. 

     He can sense Benny by his side, but Dean is too wrapped up in his own destruction to really acknowledge him. The comforting hand on his shoulder is a touch he barely registers, his body is already rebuilding its emotional walls, caging away his ability to feel and casting it in a permanent shadow. That’s where it will remain, encapsulated in darkness, cut out from the light that his girl had to give. Benny stays by his side, though, letting him know that he is there for his friend, as much as Jo is there for hers. 

     “Sis, wait,” the ranch owner’s daughter tries desperately, following the woman who just had her heart broken into the stables.      Her request remains unanswered, Y/N only stopping when she has reached Meadow’s box, her hands shaking while she tries to unlock the door. When she’s unable to, Jo quickly steps in and opens the gate, holding it for her companion. The bay horse has lifted her head, alerted by the commotion in the alley, but clearly recognizes the person stepping inside. She seems confused by her owner’s frail state of mind, though, pricked ears and concerned eyes taking in the situation. 

     The cowgirl folds an arm around Meadow’s neck while she buries her face in the Quarter’s brown coat, then she breaks. She breaks into a million segments, lost in the mixture of wood shavings and straw underneath their feet. The air is too thin to breathe and sobs wreck her entire form. 

     Never in her life has she felt so unwanted, purposeless, and vulnerable as she’s feeling now. Dean let her in and she trusted him to handle her with grace, yet the second she was comfortable with this new way of being, he pushed her out. She thought she knew the man she felt such a strong connection with. Yes, she realized very early on that it was going to be difficult to get through to him. The soldier with thick armor had stacked the barricades high, but that never intimidated her. After all, she had climbed mountains before. 

     She gave Dean her all, but in the end, it turns out it was useless. Y/N isn’t even sure what’s real and what’s not, if the cowboy has been wearing a mask all along, or just now turned into someone that he isn’t. It doesn’t matter, though. He has made himself perfectly clear; she is not the girl he wants to be with.

     The only one stopping her from collapsing is Meadow, who holds still like a statue, aware that if she moves, her owner will fall to the ground and might never be able to get up again. The horse senses exactly how to handle Y/N, the usually so spirited mare now timid and calm, picking up on the despairing energy. 

     Jo, who had silently slipped into the tack box to get a bottle of water and some tissues, comes back into the stable, tearing up at the sight of the two who have such a strong bond. The thousand-pound animal has curved her neck around her human, resting her large head on the cowgirl’s shoulder. As if trying to comfort her, Meadow twitches her lips, gently rubbing them against her owner’s back, her way of showing affection. People can be cruel sometimes, to others, to horses. Jo has witnessed it, and she knows Dean has too, which has ultimately led to his dreadful decision to cut Y/N loose, and by doing so he has hurt her in terrible ways himself. But at least the girl has her horse.

     Meadow, who is oblivious to the reason behind her owner’s sorrow, offers solace nonetheless. Quietly, she waits until the cries die down and the tears begin to dry, and even then she stays close to her person, having a better sense of direction than most humans do. Y/N’s four-legged friend is honest, treats her with kindness, and loves her unconditionally. It’s a special connection no man can ever steal away, yet many can learn from. This incredible being is her soul horse, a term Dean has taught her, the one who she thought was going to be her partner in life until he decided otherwise. He is right, though; it is over between them. She has lost Dean’s heart, but at the end of the day, no matter what happens, she will always have Meadow.

That’s that then. They are over...

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part twenty-five here

[perriewinklenerdie]

Say you’ll be mine (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

A/N: Hi guys! How we feeling? We did it, fam, we finally got it. The myth, the legend, the 30 diamond scene. As always, I did a rewrite, putting my own spin on it because I am a hoe like that and I just couldn’t resist. 

As you can probably guess, this piece is NSFW, proceed at your own risk.

Summary: Chapter 12 diamond scene rewrite. As the rain pours outside, their emotions and feelings bleed out of them too.

edit: don’t mind me, being a colossal dumbass that makes an edit and then forgets to put it into the post :)

Tag list: @paleweasels, @kittykatchoices, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian, @radlovedreamer , @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @awhmilkywey @palestazure, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @marywrites-things , @ethanplaysfavorites , @mfackenthal , @betelgeusebee , @simsvetements, @buzz-bee-buzz, @owleyes374, @cora-nova, @aworldoffandoms, @l822, @cream-ray, @ughhhxjazzy, @silverlitskies, @justendlesssummerfeels, @togetherwearerapture, @desmaranj, @edgiestwinter, @friedherringclodthing, @waytooattuned, @choicesgremlin , @lapisreviewsstuff, @the-soot-sprite, @writerapprentice, @chasingrobbie, @choicesobsessedd, @x-kyne-x, @thisperfectmemory, @drakewalker04, @rookie-ramsey, @jlynn12273, @thepinknymph @dr-brianna-casey-valentine, @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @justanotherrookie @mvalentine @starrystarrytrouble @akshara16 @maurine07 @natzz-b @aylamreads

Enjoy! <3

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Ethan steered the car towards the curb, right outside her apartment, rain falling aggressively from every direction. The warmth that surrounded them didn’t do anything for him, his entire body still feeling as though it was still in a freezing grip of panic that hasn’t left his side for days.

“Are you okay?” Claire’s voice broke through the thick mist that fell over his mind, pulling him into the reality that was like a breath of fresh air. Her forehead was creased with worry, her usually bright eyes now dull and pensive. “I don’t think I’ve asked you that yet.”

His breath was shaking when he replied. “No, you haven’t. And no.” he shook his head, trying to shake away the cold shiver that ran through his bones at the mere thought of what had happened only days ago. “I don’t think I am okay.”

“Danny and Bobby dying hit us all hard. I’m not sure how we can ever be okay with that.” She wondered, her voice small and empty. Ethan found himself shaking his head in disagreement, his own thoughts miles away from what she was talking about.

“It’s not them I’m worried about. It’s you.”

Unable to look her in the eye and let her see all the ghosts that haunted him, all the nightmares that he suffered from, he turned his head away from her. He felt the muscles of his face tense up as his head tried, once again, to deal with the anguish, the horrific images of the moments he realized that he’s come so close to losing her. He’s felt that way before, when he decided to spend the night with her, not knowing if she would wake up in the morning.

“When Naveen was sick, I could still focus on work.” Despite his best efforts to not dwell on the past, he couldn’t help the memory of his mentor and friend, dying as all he could do at the time was watch, the mysterious illness practically eating him alive. Even though it shook him to his very core, he still managed to wake up every morning and work as though nothing was happening. The very opposite thing was happening to him now. “But now… it’s entirely different. You’re sitting here, with me. You’re completely fine and healthy, nothing endangers you, and yet all I can think of is how terrified I was that I was going to watch you die.” He felt his throat close up with incoming tears, his voice dropping an octave as he fought to speak clearly. “That I’d never get to see you again. That you’ll never hear me say…”

She interrupted him, searching with her hand for his, the touch so small and careful that it might as well have not been there at all if it wasn’t for how tuned into her presence he was. He continued after a while, all of his thoughts and terrors spilling out of him as the dam broke once again.

“I keep worrying that if I lose track of you… if I leave you alone… that it could happen again. That I won’t have the power to stop it in time… to save you.”

“Ethan, I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” She squeezed his hand, looking at him with such certainty, hoping it would hold both of them up so they wouldn’t fall. Ethan looked at their joined hands, breathing in and out deeply, gathering courage to finally confess what’s been wandering his mind for weeks now, too afraid to come to light until now.

“All of it makes me realize that I just… don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t know how much time we have together. All I know is that I don’t want to waste a second of it on worrying what other people might think.”

Claire’s face lit up in surprise, her expression still guarded, making him realize just how much pain his pretended indifference must have caused. “What are you saying?”

“I’m done pretending. I’m done acting like I don’t think of you every moment of my day. Like you’re not in my head all the time. I need you, Claire. Like I’ve never needed anyone else before.”

Their eyes meet in the low light of the car, illuminated only by the streetlight. He doesn’t need a mirror to know just how his eyes look. His feelings are crystal clear to him, at last, he’s able to name them all, and he knows is that it’s all her. She nodded her head gently.

“I need you too, Ethan.”

With Herculean effort, he looked away from her for just enough time to pull the car into more safe space along the sidewalk, parking it in a safe distance, no one in their immediate neighborhood that could interrupt them. The vehicle was now stable, but not a single muscle of his moved to open the door. His eyes burned with unshed tears, his vision blurring.

Claire noticed. Of course, she did.

“Don’t worry, I’m not sad… just overwhelmed.” He rushed to assure her, blinking rapidly a couple of times to will the tears away. “What you said that night in the hospital got me thinking.” Just when he thought he had a grip on himself, he slipped again, falling into the pit of despair once more. “The idea that I’d never touch you again… it was almost more than I could bear.”

His fingers shook when he reached for her hand, brushing them against her skin like she was made of glass. As though any harder contact would turn her into thin air and his worst thoughts would become reality.

“Claire, you know what I was like when I first met you. A cynic, sometimes a bully. I was burned out on seeing all those interns coming in each year, making the same mistakes over and over again.”

“Excuse me, I like to think that my mistakes were brand new, thank you very much.” she interrupted him, by some miracle maintaining a serious expression. He wasn’t that successful in it, a grin cracking his façade.

“Your mistakes were more creative than most, I’ll give you that.” They shared a quick laugh before the tone of their conversation flew back into a more serious one. “When I thought that you wouldn’t be on my team, that I wouldn’t be responsible for your development as a doctor, I thought maybe there was a chance… if the only thing at stake were my reputation, I wouldn’t have hesitated. Not even a moment.” He allowed his eyes to search for hers, watching all the emotions playing out in them as he spoke. “Once you joined my team, I worried it wouldn’t be fair to you. That I wouldn’t be able to teach you, to push you the way you needed to be pushed. And the mere thought of someone suggesting that you slept your way onto the team made me furious.”

“I mean, clearly.” She smirked, pointing out how tense he’s gotten at the simple mention of it. He laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

“You earned your place.” He continued, staring right into her eyes, his gaze conveying all the belief he had in her. “I thought I was strong enough to hold my feelings back so I could support your career. That I could… I’m sorry if I...” he trailed off, unable to gather his thoughts. She smiled widely at how flustered he was.

“Don’t be.”

“Now, I realize how foolish I was. I’ve spent days worrying about your life.” his voice cracked, tears appearing in his eyes once more. “I just can’t bring myself to care about any of those things anymore. That is, of course, if you’re feeling the same way.” he finished, uncertainty and self-consciousness finding their way into his words. His hand squeezed hers again, trying to convey all that he didn’t or couldn’t manage to say to her through the simple touch, their gazes still tightly locked, their faces subtly leaning into each other.

Before he can think even once about leaning away to give her space, she captures his lips in the softest kiss he’s ever experienced. All existing thoughts fly out of his head, wiping it blank. Hospital, isolation room, the funeral, all the people, gone in an instant. Nothing else exists, nothing else is real. Only their lips, the slow dance of their tongues, the warmth they share and the heat in their veins, ignited by even the smallest of touches.

She muttered his name against his lips before he pulled her right back in, kissing her gently once, twice, three times before he, albeit reluctantly, leaned away. His expression revealed how torn he was, between what he wanted and what he knew she needed in that moment. Or, at least, what he thought she needed.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t the right time, I know. I should be trying to take care of you, not…”

“No. It’s good.” She protested firmly, steadying her gaze on him.

“I just don’t want to push you into something you don’t want. I understand, really Claire, I do.”

She shook her head, pressing her lips to the corner of his, remaining there for a moment. “I want this. I want you.”

A wide grin spread across his face, making him look younger. “You can’t imagine how much I was hoping you’d say that.”

Ethan lifted his hand towards her face, tracing the line of her cheekbone with his index finger. Every place they touched sent sparks through him, a heat wave following soon after. He noticed how flushed she was, undoubtedly feeling the same sensation as he was in that exact moment. If that wasn’t proof enough, the fogged up windows of his car would have to do. Rain still rang heavily against the outside of the car, managing to almost drown out the sound of blood, rushing in his ears.

“Is that all you were hoping for?” she panted, her breaths shallow as she waited in anticipation for what was to come. The smile couldn’t leave his face.

“Honestly? No.” he stole one kiss after the other, futile attempt to satiate his need for her. “But I want you to tell me what you need right now. Tell me what you want me to do, Claire.”

With a cheeky grin, she winked at him and then proceeded to climb over the console to the back of the car.

“Where are you going?” he asked with wide eyes, confused. Once seated comfortably, she crooked her finger, inviting him to join her.

“So much more space…” she trailed off, smirking suggestively at him. Placing her hand at the seat next to her, she patted the leather slightly, silently asking again. Wordlessly, he got out of the car, rushing to get back inside through the back door. Rain was dripping from the ends of his hair and trickling down the material of his jacket.

“That’s cheating.” She called him out, wiping a droplet of water from his cheek.

“No, that’s dignity.” He corrected her teasingly, taking a breath to steady himself, waiting for her next move.

Claire rolled her eyes and immediately after, her hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him down on top of her. He fell into her embrace before he could catch himself, keeping himself slightly above her with his arms. His lips found hers immediately, a soft sigh slipping out of her at the sensation.

Hesitantly, he allowed his hand to trail over the curves of her body, paying attention to them all. Sneaking beneath her back, he blindly found the zipper, breaking the kiss for long enough to lean away, his eyes carrying the question, laced with doubt. She nodded, kissing him again, a bit surer, a bit harder. Tugging on the zipper, he followed the line of her spine, letting his fingers dip beneath the material from time to time, her skin feeling feverish in comparison to his own, cold from the rain.

He skimmed over the hem of her dress, drawing out the moment. As he raised the material along with his hand, he willed his mind to remember this. To commit to his memory the scent of her perfume. The little sounds she was making in the back of her throat when their skin touched. The way her lips fit against his so perfectly.

She raised her arms above her head, helping him undress her, shaking her head shortly to move hair away from her face. He brushed the remaining locks away, looking at her as though she was the eighth wonder of the world.

“You’re beautiful.” His words were nothing more than a mutter against her lips before they came together in a fleeting kiss. Ethan sat up, taking in the way her pale skin contrasted the black lingerie in the dim light. His fingers ran down her legs with featherlight touches, stopping at the straps of her heels. Taking his time, he undid the clasps on both shoes, looking up at her from time to time, the atmosphere getting more and more electrified with each passing glance they shared. He pressed a soft kiss to her ankle before letting her feet rest on either side of him.

Claire sat up, wrapping her hand around his tie, and using it to pull him closer. The damp material of his jacket contrasted with her naked skin, causing a shiver to run through her. She undid the tie with controlled moves, using it to keep him near her, their lips almost touching, but not quite. He took the jacket off, letting it fall to the space beneath the seat, next to her dress and shoes. When she reached for the buttons of his shirt, he caught her hand, smoothing the skin over her knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

“Let me.” he mused, hastily getting rid of his shirt, shoes and socks following closely behind. She ran the tip of her index finger along the hem of his pants, watching how the muscles there contracted. He shook his head, a shuddered breath leaving his mouth when he finally got rid of the pants too.

They touched each other tentatively, reacquainting themselves with each other’s bodies. Ethan’s lips left hers, dragging a slow, hot line down the slope of her neck, paying close attention to every inch of her skin he could reach. He bit her right above her collarbone, a low moan of hers filling his ears not even a second later.

Listening to her, he allowed his tongue to dip beneath the fabric of her bra, with just enough force to tease but not enough to satisfy. Claire’s fingers flew to his head, tangling gently in his hair as he explored her body. His stubble tickled her stomach when his lips followed the line of her muscles, at last reaching the line of her panties. He kissed and bit his way from one hipbone to the other, spurred on by her breathless pants that kept on coming in waves. She moaned when his lips touched her directly through the lacy fabric.

“I’m just getting started…”

With a smirk she’s seen before, he slid her panties down her legs, slowly, without a single care in the world. Any protest she had, had died down when he reached the apex of her thighs, swiping his tongue against her folds slowly. Her head dipped back at the sensation, the grip she had on his hair tightening before she let it lose, instead threading her fingers through the strands.

His mouth closed over her clit, focusing all of his attention on that spot, guided by her moans. She looked down at him, finding his eyes almost closed, but still focused on hers. She was getting so close to the release that she could taste it, her legs beginning to shake with each move he made and it was at that moment when he leaned away, climbing back up and kissing her fiercely, with wild abandonment. She made a sound of protest, pressing her finger to halt him for a second.

“Don’t stop now.”

“We’ve got all night.” He grinned, kissing her finger and then her lips, again and again, short and sweet kisses passing through to her how happy he was in that moment. “No need to rush…”

She hummed, sitting up and placing her hands on his shoulders, pretending to lean in for a kiss. When he took the bait, she pushed him backwards, straddling his hips and pinning his wrists on either side of his head. Her hair fell around them like a curtain, blocking out their surroundings, leaving only her face in his field of view. She pressed her hips down, their bodies rubbing against one another, his helpless moan getting lost on his lips when she took his mouth in a searing kiss.

“No need to rush, huh? After you’ve made me wait for so long?” Claire asked, both of them breathing the same air. “I want to savor it. I’ll tire you out.” She whispered right into his ear, leaning back to capture surprise on his face that morphed into want when she grinned mischievously, grinding against him. She let out a soft sigh, feeling him growing harder from her ministrations. “I’m going to make you beg for it.”

“Don’t be so certain.”

“Sounds to me like a challenge. And we both know I’m not one to back down from a challenge.”

Adjusting her grip on his hands, she peppered light kisses against his mouth, pulling back when he began to kiss her back, and going back in. She treated his neck like a map, discovering spots that made him breathe heavier. Her teeth sank into his earlobe, pulling on it playfully. His hum of approval made his throat vibrate, tickling her gently.

Claire sat up again, keeping him in place with her legs, letting go of his hands so she could scrape her nails down his chest as she aimed for his underwear. Without a preamble, she hooked her fingers beneath the material and pulled it down, freeing him effectively.

She kept her eyes trained on his face firmly as she lowered her mouth. Her hot breath fanned against him, her hair brushing the sensitive skin of the inside of his thighs. She kissed him gently, running her tongue against his length, then took the tip into her mouth and sucked. Ethan moaned lowly, wanting to close his eyes but finding himself unable to look away from the sight of her working him.

She moved slowly, controlling her pace, alternating between her teeth and her tongue, his hips moving up and down, matching her rhythm. His hand gripped the edge of the seat, leather creasing under the force of his hold, while his other hand made its way to the back of her head, stroking her hair. She’d almost let him go, sucking gently, then take him back in, cries falling from his lips over and over again, following no particular pattern. Just like he’s done to her, she brought him to the brink, one more move of hers and he’d be falling recklessly, which is when she released him with a quiet sound. She let him have a moment to breathe, then went back in with barely-there touches, pulling him in and then pushing him away.

“You win! You win! I’m begging.” He laughed quietly, surrendering to her, gripping her hips when she straightened herself. Looking up at her, he couldn’t believe how long he managed to resist it. To resist her.

“Now?” Claire asked, smiling cheekily at him, squeezing his thighs together with her own as she waited for his answer.

“Now.” he nodded, helping her settle herself over him. Their eyes found one another, stares locked tightly as she guided him inside and lowered herself slowly, taking him inch by inch. A shuddered breath slipped past her lips, eyes falling shut. His arms closed around her, keeping them together while he adjusted, resting against the door, ignoring the way the arm rest was digging into the skin of his back. The new position allowed them to be even closer, enabling them more freedom of movement in such a small space.

Her back arched against him, their hips meeting at a frenzied pace, guided by his hands pulling her closer and her thighs raising and dropping her onto him over and over again. The way their position worked allowed him free access to her neck and chest, alternating between soft kisses and teasing nips across her skin.

“Come here…” Claire moaned, pulling his face up to meet hers, lips crashing in a hurried and intense kiss, taking their breaths and stealing their minds.

What started out as playful and light act of affection, quickly changed its tone. His hands strayed from her hips, running all over her body; with each new patch of skin he pulled her closer, more and more desperate to touch her, to feel her being alive. Alive and with him.

His hips shot up, meeting her halfway, changing the angle. The sounds they were making were getting louder and bolder, but Ethan couldn’t remember just why he would want to keep quiet. Claire didn’t do anything about it either, too far gone and lost in him to care about anything else than what they had in that moment.

Her name rang in the crammed space of a car when he groaned against her, his movements becoming less precise and more frantic. Both of them chased release, pushing each other further, higher, harder, neither aware of how much time has passed. The thing that pushed her over the edge was the way he looked at her. Complete certainty, utter happiness and endless bliss that made her feel as though she was about to fall apart and be put back together just by the movement of his body against hers. Crying out his name, she came around him, her spasming muscles tightening around him. With one thrust, he followed her, drowning out his desperate groan with a kiss on her lips.

Exhausted, although satisfied, they lied down to their best ability, cherishing the closeness that they could now allow themselves to experience. Ethan’s arms kept her as close to him as he could, his chest moving up and down rapidly, heart racing. Claire’s lips barely left his skin, kissing his cheek lazily and slowly, relishing the feeling of freedom that being so openly affectionate with him gave her. They basked in the afterglow of their closeness a while longer, neither saying anything, which left plenty of time for her mind to wander.

“You’re quiet. What are you thinking?” he ran his fingers through her hair, twisting the ends aimlessly. He could feel her smiling.

“I was wondering…” she craned her neck, looking up at him with a lively twinkle in her eyes. “Can we maybe do this inside next time? We wouldn’t want your old bones to get sore or worse, injured by closing ourselves in such small spaces.” Teasingly, she stroked his hip, tracing random patterns. His laughter rang in the car, sounding so carefree and rich, filling her to the brim with warmth.

“We can do whatever you want.” he promised, leaning down to make their lips brush together, eyes intense when he looked straight into hers. “Wherever you’d like.”

“That’s a potentially dangerous invitation.”

“I hoped you’d see it that way.” smirking, he made their lips meet properly, unhurriedly brushing his tongue against hers.

They decided against getting dressed just yet, opting for only their underwear. A sudden shiver shook her body, goosebumps spreading over her arms. Ethan noticed, picking up his jacket and helping her put it on, refusing to take no for an answer.

That’s how they spent the next hour or so, sitting in the back of his car, their legs tangled and hands clasped together tightly, talking quietly. He observed how her eyes glowed happily, his mind throwing a four-letter word at him. There was nothing left for him to hesitate about. He knew.

Her wild gesticulation got interrupted by him when he caught her hand, starting a line of hot kisses up her arm, biting her shoulder lightly before he claimed her lips. He leaned onto her, following her body as she lied down, her hands gripping the sides of his face, refusing to let him get too far away.

“Didn’t you say we’d be inside for the next time?” Claire’s laughter shook her entire body, making them rub against each other, pulling shaky gasps from them both. He touched his forehead to hers.

“Time after this one, then? Or the one after that too, just to be sure.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She grinned, wrapping her leg around him and hauling him onto her with a light laugh.

[megahwn]

Silver Galaxy

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader

Genre: childhood friends to lovers

Word Count: 1,404

Rating: 18+

Warnings: explicit language; talk of masturbation; ass grabbing; protected vaginal intercourse in public; squirting

Summary: You and Taehyung reminisce on your first meeting.

A/N: Written for Fics with Luv’s Bulletproof Bingo.

“Do you remember when we met?”

“Yeah, we were six and you pushed me against the fence in this park and you laughed.”

You can’t help but giggle. You had met Taehyung when he and his family moved into the house next to yours many years ago, when you were both too young to care about anything other than yourselves. You’ve grown a lot since then, you think.

“You laughed too!” you try to retort through your chuckles.

“Only because I had a crush on you,” Taehyung says easily.

You’re a little shocked by the composure with which Taehyung speaks about his feelings for you, even if they were in the past. At least, you think they were. He’s never mentioned having feelings, past or present, for you at any point throughout your friendship.

“We had only just met!” you say, mentally cursing yourself for sounding as surprised as you feel. Taehyung either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“Yeah, well, you had an effect on me,” he says instead of acknowledging your surprise.

An effect? You suddenly find yourself wanting to know every detail of his crush on you back then. For some reason, though, you find yourself asking, “And now?”

You hear Taehyung sigh out before he speaks. “You still affect me. It might be more than a crush now.”

This is insane. “More?”

“Yeah. A lot more.”

You look down to the ground, where your shoe digs into the dirt below you. “How come you never said anything?”

“I didn’t want to end up losing you if you didn’t feel the same way.”

“You could never lose me,” you say sincerely. It’s true.

“But you don’t feel the same way.” You notice his voice has taken on a somber tone.

“I didn’t say that,” you assert.

“Then what are you saying?” Now his voice sounds just shy of hopeful.

“That sometimes I think about you when I’m... alone.”

You hear feet shuffling. “When you’re alone. Meaning...” Taehyung trails off.

You clear your throat and finish, “When I, uh... when I’m about to come.”

You feel the blush burning your cheeks from your admission. Before, that was something you had promised yourself you would take to your grave. But it’s out in the open now. You wonder how Taehyung will respond.

His voice sounds almost strangled when he says, “So you think I’m attractive. Is that all it is?”

You’re quick to reply, “No, that’s not all it is. You... affect me too. I think I might love you.”

“Come here,” his deep voice says from somewhere to your left, sounding urgent. You slowly come to a stop on your swing and hop off of it, then make your way through the dark to where Taehyung sits on the slide. You stand in front of him apprehensively, unsure of what he’ll do next. Then you feel his hands in yours, and you see his eyes shining up at you.

“Do you really love me?” he says, voice low.

“Yes,” you breathe out.

Taehyung swallows. You feel him squeeze your hands a little tighter. “I love you too.”

He stands up from the slide and takes half a step forward. It’s all he needs to take for his body to be flush with yours. He lets go of your hands to bring his around your back, keeping you close. Then he kisses you.

The kiss starts out tentative, sweet. Taehyung’s lips are soft the way velvet is soft. Soon enough, though, it becomes needier, hungrier. Your lips open and your tongues meet in the middle. You snake your hands around his neck to try to pull him even closer. You wouldn’t mind if he melted into you.

Taehyung’s hands dip lower and he begins to palm at your ass, letting out a low groan of appreciation in the process. He pushes your center to his, and you can already feel his rapidly hardening length against you. You kiss him harder, incredibly turned on by how responsive he is to you.

As you begin to mouth at Taehyung’s jaw and neck, he continues to move his hands over your ass indignantly, as though this may be the only time he’ll ever get to do so. You move your hands from behind his neck to his strong shoulders, down his arms, and then into his shirt so you can feel some part of him properly. The skin of his belly is taut but not overly muscular, and it’s extremely warm. You sigh into his neck as you feel him with your hands, and he tightens his hold on your ass in response.

“Hey,” Taehyung says as you continue to languidly kiss his neck.

“Hm?” you murmur back.

“Um... do you want to?”

You pause your ministrations at his question. You do want to, you think.

“Here?” you ask, even though your mind is already made up.

“Yeah, if that’s okay with you. I don’t think I can wait for you any longer.”

You smile and nod. “Okay.”

With a beaming smile, Taehyung begins moving to turn you both around where you stand. Once your positions have switched, he gently pushes you backward until your legs hit the slide. He continues, laying you down onto the thing as you giggle. You’ve never seen him be so tender with anyone before. He must really love you.

You both proceed to pull down your own bottoms while never breaking eye contact. It’s like that scene from The Notebook, you think with an internal chuckle. Before you know it, you’re both half-naked and Taehyung has pulled a condom from somewhere and is rolling it onto himself. He then kneels down in front of you, positions himself between your thighs, and thrusts into you.

All you can feel in this moment is Taehyung – cock inside you, hands holding your thighs open, mouth kissing your stomach through your shirt. You’re moaning wantonly beneath him, making grabby hands in his general direction, trying to find something to hold onto. You can hear how wet you are every time he thrusts. It’s lewd, but not embarrassing.

“God, you sound so good,” Taehyung manages to get out through his panting. “Wanna make you sound like this all the time.”

“Fuck!” you draw out, infinitely turned on by Taehyung’s words. You reach one of your hands down between your own legs to play with your swollen clit, and you practically cry out from sensitivity when you first touch it. Taehyung’s eyes are glued to you, watching as you pleasure yourself. He begins to thrust into you faster.

“Jesus, that’s so hot.” He sounds almost pained as he speaks, disbelieving that this is really happening to him.

“Oh God, I’m gonna cum. Please don’t stop!” you beg, feeling yourself careening towards the edge. Taehyung only fucks into you faster, silently acquiescing to your wishes. It turns you on even more.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cry out in rapid succession as you come undone around Taehyung’s cock. You can feel yourself clenching around him, and every time you do you release a hot liquid onto his cock, his shirt, his thighs, the ground around you.

“Holy fuck,” you vaguely hear Taehyung call out as you continue to cum, mind too hazy to focus on much other than your own release.

Just as you begin to come down from your high, you can feel Taehyung speed up yet again. You’re overstimulated but you let him ride it out until he comes into the condom, hot and heavy.

You’re both breathing heavily, completely fucked out from your orgasms, when he finally pulls out of you. He removes the condom with a grin and tosses it into a nearby trashcan, then redresses himself and helps you up to do the same.

“Do you see how wet I am?” he laughs as he gestures to his soaked clothes.

You cringe, finally aware of what you had done. “Sorry, I should have warned you, huh?”

“Are you kidding? That was the hottest surprise ever. Do you always do that?”

“Only when I think about you.” You admit shyly.

“Wow,” Taehyung says with a dropped jaw. “Guess I better get used to it then.”

“Yeah, you better. I don’t want to go home yet. Want to watch the stars?” you ask with a blush.

Taehyung’s face takes on a cheesy smile as he says, “Only if I get to look at you.”

[sheeple]

Real thing | 9A: Shoot him

GIFS NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): mafia!au / hacker!au Group(s): NCT Pairing(s): Qian Kun x fem!reader / Jung Jaehyun x fem!reader Summary: (Y/n), a college student who joined WayV ─ an international crime organization ─ for some extra cash as one of their hackers. But what happens when she gets mixed up in a lot more heavy stuff than only sitting behind a computer and disabling security cameras? Warning(s): angst? / use of guns / blood [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist]

I shake my head, guild in my eyes and hands trembling. “I... can’t, Jaehyun. I’m sorry, but I can’t betray him!” 

“WHY?! He’s a no-good...”, Jaehyun takes a step closer to me and my hold around the gun tightens.

“Don’t come closer, I’m going to shoot you!”

“... Filthy, hollow...” Jaehyun still walks closer with dark eyes. His jaw is clenched, just like his hands. Knuckles white as snow.

I take a deep breath and turn my head away, firing the gun. The clap back makes me stumble and I fall backwards. My back hits the wall harshly and I slide down.

“Motherfucker”, he whispers and clutches his chest. Jaehyun stumbles back before losing his balance and falling backwards, his breathing quivery and blood pouring out of the wound profusely, staining his blouse. 

At that exact moment, another person walks into the alleyway. I look up and curse realising it’s Doyoung. 

“You bitch!”, he growls as he sees his partner on the ground with a bullet wound in his chest. He raises the massive shotgun in his hands while pulling back the fore-end to reload, “I knew you couldn’t be trusted.”

He storms towards me while firing the gun, nearly all of them missing me. Except two. One pierces me through my dress into the flesh of my stomach and the other my shoulder. 

A scream escapes my lips and I buckle over, my hand towards my stomach and the other on the dirty ground for support. A pain far more painful than anything I have experienced. It feels like my inside gets ripped to shreds and then burned. 

Before Doyoung can get any closer, another gunshot is heard from behind him and he gets hit right through his skull, Doyoung’s blood splattering on me. He drops down and I focus on the person on the other end.

Kun runs towards me and drops down on his knees, grabbing me and bringing me closer to him. 

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s going to be all right, okay?” Kun takes my hands and presses it against the wounds. “Press it nice and tightly, yes.” He gets up and takes me in arms, walking out of the alleyway and towards a car, stepping over bodies. 

He lays me on the backseat as Lucas steps behind the wheel. “Drive quick and call Ten, we need him”, orders Kun sternly and Lucas nods.

I lay my head to the side and blink a couple of times, my vision blurry. The only thing I want to do is just shut my eyes and sleep as I have not enough energy to keep away. 

I close my eyes, ignoring the muffled yells coming from Kun to stay awake. Right now I want to be selfish and just sleep. Yeah. Maybe if I sleep everything will turn out to be a dream. A really bad and fucked up dream

I open my eyes slowly. The first thing that greets me is a white ceiling. A groan erupts from my lips as I get aware of the pain in my body. My head hurts like a bitch. My left hand goes to my forehead and I feel the cotton of bandages. 

My brows furrow and I sit up. Only to be cursing slightly at the sharp pain in my shoulder and stomach. Oh right, last night. 

My eyes travel around the room and land on a sleeping figure in an armchair right by the window. It’s Kun, he looks tired despite his sleeping form. He has a five o’clock shadow, his hair is sticking out from all different sides, and his clothes ─ the same suit from the gala minus the jacket ─ look dishevelled and have dark stains on them. Not like the Qian Kun I’ve ever seen. 

Without making any sounds, I walk out of the bedroom. My body aches and my feet hurt, them also being in bandages. I must have stepped into some glass last night. 

I turn left and down a flight of stairs before I shuffle into the same living room I saw before, this time giving it a good look. It’s industrial, with dark tones and lots of woods. The scene outside the window gives me a perfect overview of Hong Kong. 

Next to the living room is the dining room and kitchen, all of course in the same style. The walls of the diner room are plastered with rows and rows of wine bottles. The kitchen is black and has all the new and high tech appliances. 

Two figures stand in the kitchen, Yangyang and Lucas. Lucas is cooking, Yangyang sitting on the countertop and scrolling through his phone. Most likely Twitter. The boy is addicted to the app. 

Lucas looks up from the frying pan as he hears me walking into the room. He almost drops the utensils, pure shock on his face. “(Y/n)”, he says lightly. 

Yangyang turns around with big eyes and jumps off the countertop, running towards me before engulfing me into a hug. “You’re awake!”

I let out a loud yelp and push him away, clutching my stomach. “Watch out, dumbass. I got shot, remember.” 

He apologises with a guilty smile before softly nudging me towards the kitchen island, making me sit there and wait for Lucas to plate up the food.

“I erm... for how long has Kun sat there?” 

Both the men look surprised. “Since when are you on first-name-basis with Qian?”, questions Yangyang, as he points with his thumb over his shoulder. A light blush spreads on my face. 

“We-well he asked me last night to call─”, I stutter out but Lucas cuts me off mid-way. 

“Excuse me? Last night? (Y/n), that was three days ago.” Lucas turns his full body towards me as he lays a plate full of food in front of me. 

Three days? Holy shit, the amount of schoolwork I’ve missed must be huge.

“How much blood did I lose?” I cock my head to the side, softly feeling the badges around my stomach and shoulder. 

“A lot, I guess? Kun wouldn’t let us go near you when Ten worked on your wounds.” Lucas shrugs as he moves around to grab more plates. 

I frown. “Ten? Is that...?” I stop and mimic someone putting a bag over my head.

“No, that was Winwin. He’s the one doing the kidnappings and interrogations. Ten is our doctor”, explains Lucas with a shake of his head. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been to hell and back? My body aches with every step I take and let’s not forget the bullet wounds. This is going to be a fun one for my therapist.” I roll my eyes and push some egg in my mouth. 

Yangyang sighs in relieve. “Thank God you’re alive. We had our doubts.”

I give Yangyang an ‘are-you-kidding’ look. “Sure, misses Doubtfire. You only worried because you had to find a new roommate if I were dead.”

“Yo- you really think I’m that heartless?” Yangyang fakes being hurt, earning a slight scoff from me.

I push myself off the chair, putting my empty bows in the sink. “I know you’re dead inside, YY, let’s not pretend otherwise. Shall I bring this to K-- ...Qian?”, I say, pointing to a bow with noodles still standing on the countertop. 

Lucas nods and without much talking, I scoop up the bowls and walk away, every now and then hissing in pain as I walk up the stairs. 

With a deep breath, I open the door to the bedroom slowly and peek my head in. A relieved sigh leaves my lips as I see Kun still sleeping. I place the bowl on the side table and softly squeeze Kun’s knee. 

“Kun? Wake up. Hey, Kun?”, I whisper and Kun’s eyes shoot open, jumping on his feet and pulling a gun out of nowhere. He holds the gun up and points it at my head. 

A shriek leaves my lips and I stumble backwards, tripping over the carpet and falling on the ground. I scramble away from the gun, memories of that night and three days ago flooding back. The panic coming back into my system.

My sigh narrows and all the horrible things flood in. The gun, a dead Jaehyun, the cold eyes of Kun, the pain of a bullet ripping through my skin. I pull my knees up and bury my face in it, my thick tears wetting the fabric of my sweatpants.

I feel two hands grabbing my shoulders and stroking it calmly, a shushing in my ear telling me to calm down. My hands act on their own and I let go of my knees, holding onto a shirt instead, my knuckles turning white.

“Hey, look at me. Look at me and everything will be fine.” I raise my eyes and look into a pair of dark brown ones. “Nobody can or will hurt you, you understand? Now take deep breaths until you feel all right again.” 

I do what the voice says and I stay like that for the next couple of minutes until my breathing slows down and my body stops shaking. I pull away and soft cotton wipes over cheeks, drying them from my tears.

I look up and see Kun looking at me with worry in his eyes. “Hi”, he whispers.

“Hi”, I whisper back, blinking at the alien way Kun acts. He’s normally so... hard and stoic, his eyes cold or filled with anger. But now, he’s warm and helping. His eyes are soft, almost comforting.

“I... I am sorry.” I let go of Kun’s crumpled up shirt. “I erm... I panicked at the sigh of... the gun.” The last part comes out of my mouth in almost a whisper, scared if I say those two words out loud, Kun will pull that devil’s device out of his pocket. 

“It’s okay, I understand. You’ve been through a lot. The only thing what helps is time. And maybe talking about it. I know a person who helped me a lot.”

I frown and look up to him. “Helped you?”

Kun nods and gestures next to me. I nod and scoot over, pulling my knees up to my nose, my interest piqued.

With a sigh, Kun lay his hands in his lab. “When I joined my old gang, I never dealt with the real deal before. Yes, I shot a gun and my father trained me in combat with both knives and my bare hands. But I never could fathom how my first mission in the field would go.” 

Kun stops, glancing at my side. I nod slightly and lean closer to him. His hair falls before his eyes and I swear, I can see a tear in the corner of his eyes. 

“My first mission was a bit like what happened to you. There was a car chaise, our car crashes and I ran away, a... gun in my trembling hands, ready to protect myself. The enemy had cornered me and I shot five men. Dead withing seconds. It felt weird, how much power I had over someone’s life with just such a silly thing.” 

The room is silent as I hang onto the story. It really sounds like a couple of days ago.

“The leader, he saw that I was struggling with what I’ve done and brought me to a psychiatric, so I could talk and work on my nightmares. She told me tips on how I could calm myself down when I had a panic attack.”

At that moment, for the first time since I’ve known Qian Kun, he seemed more than just a crime boss. At that moment, right there, he was human. He showed me a part nobody ever got to see of him. How human he truly is under his thick skin. In the end, he was just a twenty-something with demons just like every other person.

“Would you... would you like me to take you to her? Because I couldn’t forgive myself if your life is ruined because of me.” Kun turns away and lets his head hang low in shame. 

A sigh leaves my lips and I lean with my forehead on his shoulder. “I just... don’t want to do it alone, please?”

Kun lets out a warm chuckle. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you do this on your own. Even if you wanted it.”

[vendettaviraa]

ℂ𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕥

Fic Type: Oneshot (Requested) Fandom: MHA/BNHA Pairing: Aizawa x Male!Reader Prompt: Male!Reader and Aizawa are pretend dating for an undercover mission, but they have actual feelings towards each other. Word Count: 1,257 words

A knock at the door caught 💙’s attention. He was currently standing in the UA faculty restroom, staring at his reflection in the large mirror. “Are you ready?” Present Mic called out to him. “I think so.” Before stepping out, he adjusted the golden bow tie around his collar. Once he stepped out, he gave 💙 a once over. “Nicee!” The blond gave him a thumbs up. 💙’s eyes scanned the room before they landed on Aizawa. He was dressed in a similar tux. “I can’t believe you convinced me to do this.” Aizawa muttered towards Midnight. “Hey! No one convinced you to! You took up the job without anyone offering!” She shot back at him. He simply rolled his eyes. 

“Are you two ready?” Principal Nexus walked to the table, placing a silver suitcase. Pushing the two buttons on the edge, the case opened revealing a few gadgets. He handed the two of them earpieces as well as a mic to attach underneath their button-up shirts. “Remember, avoid suspicion!” He waved at them, lightly pushing  💙 out the door. “Alright, alright.” Aizawa groaned. He dusted off his navy blazer and adjusted. He began walking to the limo before stopping in his pace and turning around to you. He extended out his hand for 💙 to hold. “We’re supposed to be a couple.” When 💙 didn’t move, he shook his hand a bit, telling him to hold it. 💙 interlaced their fingers together as they walked to the limo. Aizawa held open the door of the limo for his date to climb in, momentarily unlacing their hands. Closing the door behind him with a ‘thump’, Aizawa scooted next to you, turning his palm upward on his thigh for 💙 to hold. “But no one’s around.” He met his question with a glare that said ‘Do it or I’ll kill you,’ to which 💙 obeyed. 

“We’re here.” 💙 whispered into the mic as soon as the objective building was in view. The receiving side muttered out a ‘Proceed’ filled with static. Aizawa held the door open for 💙, then interlocked their arms together as they walked up to the entrance. “Card?” The bodyguard spoke in a gruff voice. Aizawa looked over to 💙 who scrambled to get two fake I.Ds out of his pocket. Once he successfully retrieved the cards, he handed them to the bodyguard. His eyes narrowed as he read the cards before handing them back to 💙. He stepped aside and granted them access to the inside of the building. “I’ll be looking, stay close.” Aizawa’s arm slipped from 💙’s own as he left to explore a corridor. “How’s everything?” It was Midnight speaking over the earpiece. “We got in, Aizawa is looking for possible locations right now.” 💙 replied in a hushed tone as he paced around the foyer. “Alright, don’t stay separated too long you too!” 💙 heard Aizawa groan over the earpiece. “I know.” He replied flatly. 

Aizawa emerged from the hallway once more, striding over to where 💙 was casually leaning against a banister. “Anything?” He asked the Erasure hero. “Nothing yet.” Chatter coming from the entrance caught their attention as they turned to see who it was. In the distance, the owner as well the boss of the villain group they were looking into, stood there surrendered by females in tight dresses. Aizawa pressed himself against 💙’s chest. “Talk about something.” He looked up at him with loving eyes. The sight caught 💙 off guard as he choked back his words, face heating up. “Uhh...weather right?” 💙 mentally smacked himself. “What about it?” He responded. “It’s nice?” “Really 💙?!” Midnight screamed in their earpieces. What happened next, 💙 wasn’t expecting. The Erasure hero doubled over, holding his stomach as he laughed. His eyebrows furrowed together as he watched Aizawa. “Is he...laughing?!” All the other teachers spoke in unison over the earpiece. Unfortunately, the scene didn’t go unnoticed by the Boss. “Hey hey!” He appeared behind 💙 and smacked him on the back. “The party’s not in here!” Aizawa straightened up and glared at the hand touching his date. “C'mon fellas!” His hand remained on 💙’s shoulder as he led them to the ballroom where they were currently holding a party.

While the Boss’ focus was on 💙, Aizawa slipped away from them into another hallway to search what they came there for. “Keep him distracted, I’ll keep looking.” He commanded. He heard 💙’s voice as he was conversing with the Boss which meant that he was doing as told. The hero began opening doors left and right until he finally found what he was looking for. “Documents found.”

“So, 💙 was it? What happened to your date?” The boss inquired. “Uh...he dumped me.” 💙 lied, rubbing his neck nervously. He heard Aizawa snort at his choice of an excuse. “He left you at a party?! Well luckily for you there are several people to pick from! Whatever your choice is!” His grip remained strong on 💙’s shoulder. “Haha... I dunno about that.” The boss came uncomfortable close to his face, whispering in his ear, “Or do you prefer heroes? Specifically, ones that can erase others quirks.” 💙’s blood went cold as he stiffened. Luckily, the heroes on the receiving end of the device heard everything, and they prepared to go to their location for possible rescue and backup. “W-What do you mean?” 💙 tried sounding firm. “Did he really dump you?” The boss’s eyes shone with malice. He moved his grip to 💙’s biceps. 

“💙!” The door to the ballroom slammed open. “I’m sorry! Please take me back!” The room grew silent as you looked at Aizawa dumbfounded. He was never one to make a big scene, and that was exactly what he was currently doing. The grip on 💙’s arms disappeared as he watched the two of them. ‘Go with it!’ Aizawa’s expression read. 💙 decided to play along. “But you left me!” He shouted back. “I thought you deserved better!” The Erasure hero jogged up to 💙, grabbing his hands and pulling him into his chest. ‘I hate this.’ Aizawa repeated over and over in his mind. “Please, take me back.” He cupped 💙’s face, looking at him with eyes full of sorrow. A tinge of guilt twisted at 💙’s stomach. Although they weren’t actually a couple, he still felt hurt at Aizawa’s display of regret. “No.” It left his mouth before he could even think. The room audibly gasped. Aizawa’s eyes widened. On the other hand, the heroes listening in, hung onto each word that was spoken, as if they were watching a drama. 

“Let’s go settle this somewhere private.” 💙 grabbed Aizawa’s tie and dragged him out of the room, leaving the crowd complaining about a conclusion. Just after the two of them were safely outside, they entered the limo. “Would you actually reject me?” Aizawa spoke before he could stop himself. 💙’s expression softened. “Of course not.” He then turned away, internally debating. Turning back to 💙, he gathered courage. “Then...do you wanna date?” He ran a scarred hand through his hair that was currently in a low bun for the occasion. 💙’s hand found Aizawa’s free one, holding it. “I thought you’d never ask.” They exchanged a small smile. They leaned closer to each other, eyes closing slightly to kiss. “Hey you do realize we can still hear you two?” The two pulled away, a visible blush dusting their cheeks. “Uh yea we knew that.” 💙 shot back, throwing Aizawa into another laughing fit. 

[mytsukkishine]

Prompt for Damien haas x reader -> fluff!!! coworkers at smosh, Damien is super shy and reader is super flirty and teases him a lot until he actually makes a move??? Do with that what you will lol

n/a: whoa kay, hi anon. thank u for the lovely request. this would actually be my first time to take in request, and the first time to make a characterxreader genre so forgive me for the errors. thank you for the request and i would like to apologize again becaaaause i am new to this smosh fandom (I have known them way back then and only watched smosh again because of their board AF series so..) and i hope you would like this.

-still taking requests so~~ give me time tho hahaha another note. sorry it might have a little feelsy feels in the middle lmao

Summary: You’ve become smitten of Damien ever since, and you love to tease and kind of flirt with him because he would always turn red. However, in the middle of these so-called feelings, you’ve come to the conclusion that maybe, maybe Damien doesn’t like you back. Maybe the reason why he’s shy was that he felt so awkward when you are around him.

And so, the feels begin. 

words: 1,920

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You smiled at the envelopes on your hands. The marketing team was already done with the promotional pictures, and it all looked awesome. All those hard work through production was all worth it.

Of course, you, from the Sales department volunteered to bring it to the squad because, well, even though you were at the office side, you were more close to the production side.

“I have pictures!” You announced cheerily as you opened the door. Courtney and Noah who was near the entrance stood up and got the envelopes according to their names. “Here ya go!”

“Thank you Y/N!” Courtney beamed you a smile and you handed the rest to the squad. You walked up to Damien and you grinned, pushing your hair onto the back of your ear.

“Here,”

“Thank you!” He said happily and you can’t help but notice his cheeks were always pink. It’s adorable. “You look good there,” You commented and you swore his cheeks turned red. “I- uhm, hahha,” He laughed lowly, avoiding eye contact.

You pouted internally but just gave him a cheeky smile, “Well, see you around!”

“Hey YN, wanna hang out after work?” Shayne spoke and the others agreed.

To be honest, it has become a routine for you to hang out with them. The difference between the departments was never a hindrance because you easily became friends with Olivia and the rest was history.

Then you met Damien. When Damien first entered Smosh, you were smitten. He was kind of shy at first but then he opened up. The thing that you liked about him was that he gets shy whenever he rants about anime to you and then he would suddenly apologize. You two were pretty close but you still wonder why Damien never seemed to speak so much when you are around.

You always see him being all talkative and a goofball to others but not to you.

You were curious.

One time you two were alone in the lunchroom and you looked up from the document you were reading. You caught him looking at you.

“Yes, Dames?”

“Uhm—Nothing!” He looked back at his food and continued to eat.

Ever since then, you always wanted to tease him. He was cute.

“Oh, cool!” You grinned towards Shayne then turned to look at Damien, “You’re going too, right?”

“Y-yes,” Damien answered and you giggled.

Shayne, Keith, and Noah was actually watching the whole scene happening and they just wished for Damien to just ask you out quickly.

 ~

You sighed as you entered the breakroom. It’s a tiring and stressful day as your manager kept pressuring you in getting that deal. He has been nagging you since last week and you were really trying your best.

You whined and headed for the coffee machine but stopped when you spotted Damien. He waved at you with a sweet smile etched on his face.

“Coffee?” He offered. His cheeks pink again.

Your frowning face immediately glowed and you find yourself next to him, “Yes please.” He pressed the button and both of you silently wait for it to be brewed.

“So, why is Damien Haas here? Don’t you have a shoot?”

“I- uh, we are on a break actually,” He pointed on his brows and that’s where you noticed that it was so defined and on fleek. “Whaaat,” You leaned in to take a closer look and Damien stepped back a little.

You smirked, “Let me see, Dames,”

He was taller than you so obviously you tiptoed and Damien released a nervous laugh. He tilted his head to the side, avoiding eye contact and you grinned. You patted his hair gently and a small beep from the coffee maker resounded.

You straightened yourself and grabbed the coffee pot. “You still look good though,” You complimented. “What video are you making?”

Damien was a blushing mess. He cleared his throat as he grabbed his mug and waited for you to finish. “Uh, Courtney is giving me a make-over, Shane inspired make-up,” You nodded and you took Damien’s hand that was holding his cup and poured coffee in it.

Damien’s mouth was shut tight as he looked at the hand above his.

It was hot and it’s making his heart beat fast.

“Oooh nice,”

“Y-yeah…”

“Well, good luck!” You winked, squeezed Damien’s hand gently before leaving, not forgetting to grab your own cup.

You stopped on your tracks and looked back. You beamed up at Damien, “I think pink lips would look good on you~”

Your heart was racing as you exited the room.

 ~

 Okay, you can’t focus. You need to see this live. That was why you found yourself sneaking in the studio where you know Courtney and Damien would be shooting their makeover.  You smiled sheepishly as one of the producers saw you. He shook his head but lets you in.

You found a corner where you can watch for a while without interrupting anyone so you stood there, papers in your hand as you watched Courtney applies some eye shadow on Damien’s face.

It was funny and cute but throughout the video, you can’t help but pout as how close they were and Damien wasn’t flinching away.

Well, of course, he shouldn’t because Courtney was putting make-up on him but still. You felt your heart pang a little as you remembered some moments where you got a little too close to Damien and he would shy away.

Okay, admitting time. You have a crush on Damien. Maybe after the lunchroom incident you became so smitten over him, then you realize you liked him when Boze asked you if you like him.

Ever since then—you do. You do like him and it has been seven months and these so-called feelings were kind of taking a toll on you.

Then Damien’s laughter broke your thoughts as he and Courtney talked more and you were kind of jealous. Not because of Courtney, oh God she’s your friend. You’re jealous because you want to have that kind of conversation with Damien also.

Maybe you got it all wrong, you thought to yourself as you observed Damien. He was shy and always blushing. Maybe because he was feeling awkward to be with you.

Not because he likes you.

You sighed and decided to leave and continue with your work.

 ~

 “Yo, did something happened?” Shayne asked as he took a seat beside you, putting his drink on the table as you continue to play with your Switch. It was a Sunday meaning no work for you and you decided to hang out in the squad’s office for a while because they said they would be going out for a drink later on.

“No, why?”

“You have been awfully quiet.”

“I am always quiet Shayne,”

“Mmhmm,” Shayne hummed and took a sip. Pregnant silence covered the both of you before you straightened your body and rested your head on Shayne’s shoulder.

“I’m just tired,”

“Of what?”

“Work, obviously.”

“Y/N. I have known you since Defy. What is up?”

You groaned as you lost the game. You sighed and pressed restart. “Nothing, really…”

Then the door opened and the rest of the squad entered and both of you remained in your positions. “Y/N, you’re here!” Olivia and Courtney greeted and you replied with a smile and wave before turning back to your game. Noah took a seat beside you to watch and you instantly switched shoulders to lean on.

Shayne stood up to throw is trash and the rest were getting ready to leave.

Damien was the last one to enter and he spotted you. He walked up to you and peeked from above to see what you were playing, “Oh, you’re playing My Hero: One’s Justice!” He exclaimed excitedly as he took Shayne’s previous spot.

“Ah, yeah… It’s quite an interesting game,” You said and focused on your playing.

“Guys come on, we need to stop by Taco Bell first,” Keith announced and Noah stood up, disturbing your gaming in the process. You proceeded to rest on the nearest shoulder but stopped when you remembered that the nearest shoulder beside you was—

Then your eyes met Damien’s.

The game already abandoned as you and Damien made eye contact.

You saw his cheeks were pink again. You looked away and exited your game.

“Uh,” You managed to let out as you stood up. “I think I need to charge this first, so…”

You wanted to hit yourself because it was so obvious you tried to avoid him. Now you felt bad for letting your stupid feelings get in the way.

You walked over to your bag with a sigh.

Damien doesn’t deserve this. It has been two days since your realization and it has been two days since you smiled at Damien. You wanted to cry because you always, always wanted to smile at Damien. And maybe tease him but nooooo, you realize you might just be hurting yourself.

“I’m going to the break room for a while,” You announced and Courtney draped an arm around you, “Everything good babe?” She asked with a worried face and you nodded, hugging her in the process.

“Yes, babe. Just thirsty,” Well that was partly true. She lets you go and you waved, exiting the room with your bag in tow.

You walked towards the break room and enter when a hand stopped you from your tracks.

It was Damien.

He followed you here? You looked around to see no one was there, of course the office would be empty on a Sunday afternoon.

“Yes?” You questioned with a raised brow and you saw him gulp.

“Y-Y/N… I- I wanted to ask you something,”

You sighed. He had noticed you were avoiding him. Now you have to apologize to this soft boy that doesn’t deserve your cruelty.

“Dames, look about earlier I-”

“Would you go out with me?”

The two of you stopped for a moment. His hands held your wrist as you both looked at each other.

“What?”

Damien was now red. Like red, as in when they drank-too-much-smoothies-that-one-time red.

“I… you see,” He was kind of struggling as you were gazing at him. “Uhm, okay. You are funny, so cheerful and very… cute.” He was looking down, still holding your wrist. “And you always tease me and stuff…”

You smiled a little but he continued. “Then I noticed you were kind of avoiding me and—”

“I’m sorry Dames, it’s not—”

“No. No. Let me finish, please. I am sweating.” You nodded with a laugh.

Damien released a nervous chuckle and he finally, finally looked at you.

“And it’s killing me. I have liked you and—I wanted to know more of you so,”

“Yes.”

“Would you go—wait, what?”

You giggled as you stepped closer to Damien, you face are inches away and you heard his breath hitched.

“I would love to go out with you Dames,” You felt your cheeks heating up as you see Damien’s eyes looking down at your lips. You smiled and pressed a finger on his soft lips.

“Take me to dinner first, babe.” Damien scoffed a laugh, cheeks still a mess as you stepped back. “I’ve always like this side of you, Dames.” You commented and grabbed for his hand. He was shocked for a moment but then relaxed. He leaned in towards your ear, “I like this side of you too,”

Now you swore you were the blushing mess this time.

-

apologize for grammar error. thank uuuuumaybe tell me what ya’ll think hehe :D

[nomimits7]

Undecided Chapter 5

Title: Undecided Pt 5

Genre: Investigation, murder, masked behavior.

Warnings: murder, psychotic behavior, might be triggering.

Members: detective OT7 x Forensic scientist Reader

Note: Phrases are just add-ins to help with the storyline… If they confuse you, feel free to ask!

Summary: Moving overseas for a once in a lifetime job offer was one of the scariest things Y/N ever did. That was until she got stuck in a twisted investigation of random murders, all with one link but no leads. Closing in on the culprit(s) Y/N doesn’t realize the danger she’s getting into. With no family or friends, can Y/N dare to trust those seven closest to her with her life?

A/N; I am so sorry this took so long. I’m stuck on a scene in chpt 7 that has reference to this chapter and the next! I hope you enjoy

Undecided Character intro update

•♡•

Dream: Indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired.

•♡•

Maybe your dream was telling you that it’s okay to stay.

Well, ‘Mission getting all the boys to trust you’ were… successful? Can you truly call it successful? After all, you didn’t actually do anything. They did the testing, they set you up, they tested you, on the third day you were in South Korea to be exact. You were ecstatic that they finally trusted you, but on the other hand, you were… disappointed? You wanted to prove yourself in your own way. Not that you weren’t thankful but now what? Do you continue as normal? Do you become more intimate in your duties at the office? Questions, so many unanswered questions.

Speaking about the office, your first question of many would be exactly that… “Uh, where are we? This doesn’t look like the office”

“Oh! Ha-ha no this isn’t the office. You’re at our apartment Y/N. Remember I told you we lived in the same hotel the office is in?” Jimin said, tilting his head as he observed you.

Of course, how could you forget that? He did mention them living in the same hotel as the one where the office is located. Why that thought didn’t occur to you first, you do not know. Idiot.

“So, you all live in a shared apartment?” You asked as you glanced around the very spacious living room.

“Yes, we do. I know it's weird but being part of a traveling agency its easier. One place to worry about is better than seven different apartments in one city, don’t you think? Besides, It not just one apartment. We own the whole floor so there’s more than enough room.” Hoseok said matter of factly. As if it was the most obvious conclusion to the scenario, which it wasn’t.

Well, come to think of it, it did make more sense. When they’re all together they never have the stress of being late for work, neither were they alone at night unlike you. Wow, you kind of wished you were living with them, just to NOT be alone at night.

Wait… they live in the same building as their office. That means all of them drive all the way to your place to pick you up just to return to the same building. Where does that make sense?

“But, if you all live here, basically at the office. Why do you drive all the way to my place to pick me up just to come back here? I could always take a cab or something. There’s really no need for you guys to fetch me at all.” You curiously asked

This seemed to get a reaction from all the boys. You could physically feel Jungkook tense and relax under you as you wait for an answer. Come to think of it, why are you still in his arms? Not that you were complaining. Turns out they are very comfortable to be in.

“Well, we actually discussed that when we reviewed your resume. And we all concluded that it would be safest to fetch you ourselves than risk you, a foreigner, to navigate your way to work each day. Even though the streets are relatively safe, there still are a few individuals that prey on the innocent and foreign, like yourself. We even thought of having you live at the hotel as well, but all the rooms were booked, and it would have been awkward for all of us if you moved into our apartment from the word go. Besides, even if it doesn’t look like it at first, we tend to get jealous when one of us gets to do something the others can’t partake in, little dove.” Namjoon successfully answered. There’s a reason he has such a high IQ.

“Oh, that makes sense I suppose”. You said as a blush crept on to your cheeks. You swore he used those nicknames just to see you blush and judging by his smirk, you were 100% sure he indeed was. It’s just a matter of time before the rest of the boys pick this up. Whether they’ll use it like Mr dimples over there, you don’t know.

“Y/N? Why did your face turn pink just now? Was it the nickname Namjoonie gave you?” Yoongi asked raising one of his eyebrows. A smirk made its way onto his face as this new information manifested into his brain. Why does he have to be so fucking observant? No, the real question is… why did he have to say it out loud?

“Oh? She can blush? Well, well well… this is going to be fun” Hoseok said. His voice taking on a playful tone. Playful bordering dangerous. Maybe even with a hint of challenged laced between the lines if you squint.

This was not good. You were in trouble and you had absolutely no way of escaping. And the fact that you blush at almost everything that made your stomach to a flip, was not going to help you.

Before you could even think up an escape plan, Taehyungs dreaded phone rang again. This time though no one tensed. A ringing phone wasn’t something to be afraid of, it happens all the time.

“Kim…” Taehyungs deep voice carried across the room as the boys each continued teasing you. It wasn’t until Taehyung let out a, very loud ‘what’ that everyone fell silent.

“Where?... How long ago?... 5 minutes? And you never thought of calling us? You’re an idiot! We’re running against time here… give us 5 minutes” Taehyung concluded sarcastically. Turning around and facing you, his next words made you visibly freeze on the spot.

“So, Y/N? Have you ever seen a fresh murdered victim? Guess today's your lucky day…”  

•♡•

~Follow the sound of the pipe, follow this song. It’s a bit dangerous but I’m so sweet. I’m here to save you, I’m here to ruin you. You called me, see? I’m so sweet. Follow the sound of the pipe. I’m taking over you. I’m taking over you~

The song continues to haunt you at the back of your mind as you try and focus on the scene. Although, if this can even be called a scene. Silently you cursed Jungkook for playing the song during your drive to the scene, but a small part of you was even thankful for it, it gave you a distraction.

Nothing was out of place. Nothing except the lifeless body draped over one of the corner chairs. Again, dressed in black and wearing red shoes. You patiently waited for Seokjin and the medics to clear the scene so you could map out the floor.

In the art of investigations and so, the forensic scientists are the ones that map out the floor. They mark specific areas where everyone can walk. All other areas are off-limits. This helps with the preservation of evidence and it’s just protocol. Doing this and drawing the scene as found are crucial steps in any investigation.

Once you gave the go-ahead the rest of the boys all filtered into the scene. Each carefully moving within your set boundaries as they all set to work collecting what they could. Even though this is not wise, it’s faster. They’re all trained and educated investigators, they know how to handle evidence. They have been collecting them long before you were part of the equation.

Once everything was collected and the whole scene has been thoroughly searched, twice, you all head back to the office to start your individual tasks on sorting the evidence and analyzing everything.

After many hours of sorting and analyzing, Taehyung called everyone to the briefing room for any updates.

“Right, Seokjin. Let’s start with you” Taehyung said as everyone found their seats.

“Right, Victim was female. She was shot executioner style, but this time the wound wasn’t fatal. She was, however, tortured before death. Unfortunately, I can’t say whether the torturing happened before, or after she was shot. I can, however, conclude she died at approximately midnight yesterday evening. The cause of death was major blood loss, internally as well as from the wound in her skull. She was beaten, mutilated with a blade or sharp object and forced to drink acid. This crime is much more brutal than any of the others.” Seokjin concluded with a sigh as he slaked in his seat. Visibly drained.

“Namjoon? Anything on who the victim was?” Taehyung asked.

“Victims' name was Mary-lee. She was a 24-year-old businesswoman. She was last seen leaving a popular night club only two blocks from where she was found nearly 7 hours later. She was alone at the club. Came alone and left alone. She had only one beer, meaning she wasn’t drunk. The bartender even said she came by regularly, usually only having one beer before she would leave.”

“Jimin? Do you have the results of her toxin scene?” Taehyung reluctantly asked.

“I do, With the little blood found in her liver, I found no trace of any drugs or alcohol in her system. She was completely sober during the time of her death, it’s as if the killer made sure she felt everything that happened to her. This means that these killings aren’t linked by drugs.” Jimin said.

“Great, that’s good. Were getting somewhere. Y/N?” Taehyung said sarcastically as he turned to you.

“Mary-lee was shot with a round nose bullet. That’s why it went right through. These bullets are usually found within law enforcement, unfortunately, this bullet was custom made. I also came to the same conclusion as Jimin, I just found the link in another form. The victim was once again totally cleaned and drained of blood. She was wearing black clothes and red shoes, had no trace evidence just like the previous victims even if no drugs were used on her. This means the killer is getting creative. He tortured her, something he never did with any of the other victims. She was found in pub- ” You said as your eyes went wide when they made contact with Taehyung who failed to notice.

“Right, I think this settles it. We are officially looking for a serial killer. One that feels safe enough to take risks. One that’s playing with us. One that finds joy in his killings. Yoongi, inform the press. We need to catch this mad man before he kills again.” Taehyung concluded as he stood only to be stopped by your voice.

“Wait, somethings off. Linda was killed last week in a similar fashion than Mary-lee, but they weren’t killed in the same week as the first four victims. Why would the killer change his style so drastically? Unless we missed something big. But what?” all eyes were on you as you bit your lower lip in concentration.

“Y/N, if there’s someone who can figure this out… it’s you. We’ll all help and look for the link or the reason this guy changed, but don’t ponder on it too hard, the answer will come” Hoseok said as he gave you a pat on the back.

Slowly everyone filtered out of the briefing room. Exhaustion being a common trait everyone shared at this stage, yet you all went back to work.

You can rest when you're dead...

•♡•

The news of a serial killer on the hunt for his next victim, literally send a tsunami of panic through the city. Stores started closing earlier, children were kept out of school, neighbors even started suspecting each other as the case grew more and more complicated. Lead after lead was reported daily, all leading to more dead ends than in the entire continent. This just made things even harder for everyone at the office.

You were on the verge of burning out. Tonight would be your third all-nighter and you felt it. Your eyes were lifeless, your muscles ached and begged for rest. The case had come to a complete standstill. No one could find anything to boost your chances of catching this inhuman psycho. It’s as if he was untouchable.

Staring at the same report for the hundredth time your mind went blank once again as you tried to see the connection.

Yoongi found something else at the crime scene. Something missing from the first five. A single strand of hair, female but not from the victim nor any other victim. The DNA extracted also didn’t match anyone registered on the system. This meant that either the killer was female, or the killer was near another female before he killed Mary-lee.

But there were other possibilities as well. It could have been one of Mary’s client’s hair or other worker's hair… yet everyone at the office was registered on the site used by investigators. A security measure the company uses to make sure its employees weren’t previous offenders.

There was another option, one that made your heart speed-up. The possibility that the hair sample found belonged to that of a foreigner. You were a foreigner. The color-matched your hair color, you were female, yet you never met Mary-lee.

There’s only one option left to ease your anxiety. You needed to provide a sample and clear your name, just in case, even if you knew it was nearly impossible for your hair to be a match. But something deep down felt off. This killer wasn’t that careless. He wanted this sample to be found. If its to send a message you were determined to find out what he wanted to say.

•♡•

You know that it’s already begun. The moment you hear that sound, maybe I’m a bit dangerous. Like the pied piper, I’m testing you. Like the fruit from the tree of good and evil.

Time came to complete standstill as everyone in the briefing room was staring at your, now very pale face. A mix of confusion and shock written on everyone’s face as Jimin lowered the lab results. It was a match. Your hair was found at a crime scene you’ve never been to.

No word could describe how helpless you felt at that very moment. All your hard work on building their trust, redeeming your past mistakes was now on the brink of extinction. You wanted to prove yourself and you have, now this happened. They’ll never trust you again.

“Y/N, that figure you saw at your home the second night you were in that house. You can’t recall if he/she was in your home?” Taehyungs cold voice sliced through the air, successfully scaring the living shit out of you.

“N-no, I-I don’t think s-so” You weakly replied. You felt your body losing all energy as more blood left your face. Once again you felt strong arms on your shoulders, a glass of water appearing in front of your face. Your eyes were glossy as you just sat there, making no attempt to take the offered water.

“Y/N, hey stay with me, sweetheart. Come on, drink this. No no, come back to us Y/N” Yoongi’s voice rang out as another pair of hands took your face in theirs, lightly tapping it.

“Hey, we’re not mad at you. We know for a fact you have never been to that office. There’s absolutely nothing connecting you to this case. That’s why Taehyung-ie asked if you know if that individual was in your home. That hair was planted, and we all know it!” Hoseok said from behind you. His arms tightening their grip on you as he spoke.

“Y/N, I firmly believe everyone in this room would agree with me when I say that this psycho’s targeting you. You aren’t safe in that home, not anymore.” Jungkook said from his seat, visibly vibrating with anger.

“I agree and don’t let Tae’s cold voice get to you. We all need a break from this case before we all go completely insane.” Seokjin said with tired soft eyes.

The room went quiet as your color slowly returned to your face. The newfound information slowly sinking in as you furrowed your eyebrows. The implication they were referring to had chills running down your body. Why would this killer target you? You were a nobody. A foreigner-only trying to make a living. For heaven's sake! You didn’t even know anyone here! Except for the boys.

“Why me…?” You whispered. A lost memory threatening to expose itself as the reason.

“We don’t know, but I promise you we’ll find out. No one fucks with our family and your family now!” Jimin said, surprising you with the harshness of his words.

With affirmative nods from all the boys, you felt a sense of calmness fold around you. You're going to be okay.

“Y/N” Taehyungs voice made you turn to him. His voice was somewhat softer than before.

“I think it would be best if you relocate. As Jungkook said, it’s not safe for you to be in that house. Not just that but being alone in general. I do believe the rest will agree to the fact that this madman has his eyes set on you. Don’t worry Y/N, you’re safe with us even if it’s our fault there’s a target on your back. So, how about it boys?” Taehyungs voice carried through the room.  

His words made you smile, that familiar warmth returning as the implication of his words truly hit you. They care for you. You’re important to them. You’re safe with them.

“Why don’t we just let her join us at our apartment? There’s plenty of space! She can take the biggest guest room at the end of the hall. That way we’ll always be close to her. No one would be able to get to her.” Namjoon’s voice suddenly rang out from the back of the room.

M-move in with them? Wouldn’t that be… weird?

Seeing your worried eyes, Seokjin quickly stepped in. taking your hands in his, his eyes locking yours in place as his thumb rubbed reassuringly over your knuckles.

“Y/N, this way we’ll be able to keep you safe.” Taking a deep breath, he continued with a pleading tone.

“Please move in with us doll, let us keep you safe”

Taglist: @lexisthegreatest @wearelivingthoughts @chim-possible @mojo6 @allme4ever @autumnboo126 @backinblack1967 @anamarieswift2194 @inkouowo @loisje123 @alomarce @xxgothickxx @crazy-fangirl-10 @holyblazinghell @speakyourselfloveyourself @cyphyia-lea  @sftwgguk @mindhoney23 @moonlightnightingalesworld @barbyisafangirl @queenofkats02 @honeydewseoks @hani-bun @stargazingmoonchild @catherinekowalski @sexiquid @imfor-everdrivinginpuddles @anthoblanchette-blog @ohmyspook69 @sweatypersonaalienopera @alomarce @thatgirlwithmanyobsessions​ @tired-mochi

Things are heating up!!

Chapter 6

[pies-writes-and-more]

( @lovelyy24 had asked for a Steve x Reader so here goes!) Modern AU

"This. Is. Killing. Me.” (Y/N) groaned, slamming her textbook shut and hitting her forehead against the desk in front of her.

“Aw come on, how hard could med school be?” (Y/N) glared at Bucky who was happily sitting on her bed, playing a game on his phone. “I’m kidding!” He insisted with a grin.

“You know, not all of us get to waste our time on games, asshole,” (Y/N) grumbled, running her fingers through her hair.

“Yeah, Bucky, leave her alone. She’s got finals coming up,” Steve piped up from the doorway, smiling at the two of his best friends. “But I have something that might cheer you up,” he sang happily, holding up a pizza box.

“PIZZA!” (Y/N) jumped out of her seat and into Steve’s arm. He managed to hold her in one arm, balancing the pizza box in another.

“Hey, watch it! I could’ve dropped it! Or you!” Steve groaned, putting the pizza on the bed and shifting her weight to both his arms.

“Oh please, we all know you’d drop the pizza before you dropped her,” Bucky mumbled with a grin, sliding over to grab a slice.

“Shut up,” Steve’s ears turned pink but (Y/N) seemed too preoccupied with the pizza.

She munched down on a slice eagerly, pulling at the extra cheese, “Steve Rogers, I fucking love you,” she exclaimed through a mouthful. Steve’s cheeks started to go pink now, avoiding Bucky’s annoying she-loves-you glance.

“Yeah yeah. Just remember I need you to model for my sketch project due next week,” Steve shrugged, plopping onto the bed and grabbing a slice of pizza. “How’d your studying go today though?”

“Awful!” She complained, swallowing the large bite she had taken. “I have 17 more lectures to go through, 3 more chapters, and I only have a few more days.”

“Maybe if you had started studying earlier-” Bucky started, a wide grin on his face.

“Maybe if my stupid roommates didn’t come home drunk and throwing up everywhere, blasting their goddamn music and Super Smash Bros, I would have!” She glared, making Bucky laugh with his hands in the air innocently.

“I promise I will not bring Stevie out hardcore drinking out again. It was awful. I remember very little of what happened, to be honest.” Bucky smirked, going back to his game.

“I remember we came home and I threw up in the sink,” Steve grimaced, giving an apologetic look to (Y/N). “Sorry, love, promise it won’t happen again.”

“We were supposed to stay out later. Met a couple of gorgeous girls who were totally into Stevie, but he started to feel sick,” Bucky shrugged, as if he was pretending he didn’t know why Steve wasn’t into the girls.

“Oh yea? No interest in the dating scene, Steve?” (Y/N)’s head tilted a little, trying to catch the blond boy’s gaze. “I thought you were over Sharon.”

“I am!” Steve said quickly, looking up at her. “I just, I dunno. Guess I haven’t found someone yet,” he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.

(Y/N) felt her heart skip a beat, trying to not look so pleased with the fact that Steve wasn’t eagerly looking for someone. Maybe it meant she had a chance. “Well you know what they say, love always finds you when you least expect it!” (Y/N) smiles at him, skipping off to the kitchen to find them drinks.

“Who knew Stevie could lie so easily to the love of his life,” Bucky teased, nudging his best friend.

“Shut up, she’ll hear you,” Steve hissed, hitting him back. “I didn’t lie-”

“You told her you didn’t find someone! You’ve been in love with her since first year. It’s not that you didn’t find someone, it’s that you’re too chicken to do anything about it!” Bucky exclaimed, sighing. “She likes you too, sport. She talks about you all the time. She was absolutely devastated when you started seeing Sharon-”

“She thought Sharon was a bad fit for me, and she was right!” Steve interrupted.

“She thought Sharon was a bad fit, and that she would be a better fit!” 

Steve opened his mouth to retaliate when (Y/N) called into the room, “Someone make a note! We need ice cream next grocery store trip!” She grinned, hopping into the room with 3 spoons and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. “You boys are going to help me study with ice cream as my incentive.” She proclaimed, sitting in front of Steve with a grin. 

It was hard to focus with her wiggling around so much. Finally, she plopped her head into his lap, playing with one of his hands while the other held her study questions. Steve struggled with concentrating but he knew she needed to study so he tried the best he could. Though he didn’t really understand the topics, he found her passion for medicine fascinating. After a while, she wiggled herself over to her desk chair, quickly going over some diagrams.

As she mumbled out a long answer to a question, Steve started to doodle across some scrap papers, sketching out the gorgeous girl in front of him.

“Steve?”

His head popped up from his drawing, sheepishly realizing she had been calling him for the past few minutes. “Steveeee, I told you you can’t just draw me when I’m not ready! I don’t even look good, my hair isn’t washed, my makeup is all faded, and my skin is breaking out from stress,” she complained, pouting at him but rolling her chair over to catch a glimpse of his sketch.

“You always look gorgeous, (Y/N), how many times do I have to tell you?” Steve replied, letting her pull the piece of paper from his fingers.

“Well thanks for making me look somewhat decent,” She smiled, dying internally over the fact that he had been staring at her and drawing her all this time. She looked up at him with bright eyes, the two of them staring at each other for a moment.

God she’s gorgeous, Steve thought to himself, his eyes lingering over her lips for a second. Would it be so bad to kiss her?

Fucking kiss me, (Y/N) thought to herself, feeling them both drawing nearer to each other.

The moment was ultimately ruined by the sound of Bucky snoring. A loud, Dad-like snore. Steve jumped in response, glaring at the unconscious boy lying next to him. “God, I almost forgot he was here,” he grumbled, avoiding her eyes shyly.

“Ya,” she murmured softly, sighing as the moment slipped away from them. “He’s taking up my whole bed,” she groaned, packing up her things. “How the hell am I going to sleep?”

“You could take his room?” He offered.

“And touch the DNA of thousands of girls he’s brought home? No thanks,” she laughed, scrunching up her nose in defiance. 

“What about my room?” 

(Y/N) looked at him and they both froze for a moment. “Y-You want me to sleep with you?”

Steve gulped, wondering what he was supposed to do next, “I-I mean, I can take the couch. I’d just feel bad if you slept on the couch.”

“I’m not going to take your bed and make you sleep on the couch!” She shook her head eagerly. “That’s so cruel. Besides, I fit better on the couch than you do.”

“It’s still a small fit. That couch is so uncomfortable to sleep in,” Steve’s frown tightened and he looked at her, feeling a wave of confidence. “Sleep with me then. Not like it’s the first time we’ve shared a bed.”

(Y/N) nodded slowly, remembering the nights they’d fallen asleep binge-watching shows or having a movie marathon. When they were younger and she’d have stressful nights, sometimes the only way for her to actually fall asleep without worrying over everything was to crawl into Steve’s bed. But after Sharon, everything changed.

Steve cleaned up the pizza boxes and pop cans, tossing them into the garbage and recycling before going to his room to make sure it was all tidied up. He threw his shirt off, throwing on some sweatpants to replace his jeans and waited as she washed her face and changed. 

(Y/N) could’ve sworn she saw Bucky’s eyes twitch, wondering if he really was asleep or if this was some part of his crazy plot to get his two best friends together. She rolled her eyes thinking about it, tossing on some pyjamas and slipping into Steve’s room. 

“So.” She stood in the doorway, wondering if today would mark the day they broke the boundary that Sharon had laid out for her many months ago. Even though Steve and her broke up, (Y/N) never wanted to be that girl friend that his partners were worried about. 

“So.” Steve responded, watching as she nibbled on her lower lip nervously. “I don’t bite, (Y/N), promise,” he offered with a gentle smile.

She laughed nervously, crawling into the bed beside him. She shuffled the blanket over her shoulder, looking up at him as he laid down beside her after turning off the lights. 

“Let me know if I’m squishing you,” he whispered to her, his eyes staring into hers.

“Mhm,” was all she could manage to get out. Her heart was pounding so hard, he was definitely going to hear it or it was going to burst out. Was that even possible? A heart bursting out of someone’s chest? Every romance book talked about it but was it medically possible? What even is the procedure for something like that? Why wasn’t that written in the chapter about heart diseases? Is this not a disease?

“(Y/N), are you okay?” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed with worry, her breathing getting a bit faster.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I just-” She took in a deep breath before looking up at him again. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to sleep next to someone.”

Steve felt his heart drop. The number of nights he wished she would crawl into his bed again or would ask for him to come to her room were probably astronomically high. He thought maybe since she was so busy with medical school, he shouldn’t bug her with his affections. But having Sharon in his bed was even worse than an empty bed. “I missed you,” he let out softly. 

It was barely a whisper and the two of them sat with it lingering in the air for a moment.

“I missed you more,” she finally whispered back, feeling his hand cover hers gently. 

“Sleep, doll. You’ve got a lot of work to do in the morning,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss her forehead. Her eyes closed with the fleeting kiss and he waited a few moments to close his own eyes to make sure she was feeling safe. 

One of these days he would tell her how he felt. But for now, just knowing she was still comfortable in his bed made all the difference.

Few hours later, Bucky awoke to darkness, frowning tightly when he didn’t see either of his friends around. “Betrayal,” he grumbled but smirked to himself when he didn’t see either of them on the couch or his room.

At least they did something. Maybe they’d finally spill their hearts out to one another and Bucky would stop having to watch the two of them gaze longingly at each other all the time.

[hollyhomburg]

Collars and Strawberries

(Dom! Namjoon Headcannons)

W/C: 1.3K

Tags: dom/sub, safeword usage, panic attack mentions, pain play, pet play, forced orgasms, orgasm denial, temperature play, degradation,

A/n: Ok so besides being complete filth- this focuses on the emotional sides of som and sub relationships. Only read if you're 18+ please!!!

- Your Dom/sub relationship with Namjoon starts one night after you have a little bit of a break down from stress.

- It’s a few months after you and Namjoon first started your relationship.  

- And at first he doesn’t have any idea how to calm you down, but the second his hand goes around your neck your breathing slows and your focus goes totally to him. He slowly and softly tells- or orders you to calm down, to focus only on him.

- Your mind goes blissfully blank for the first time in weeks- and it feels amazing to be so clear-headed, to feel so free. 

- You played around with it a little bit from there but after a little while you and Namjoon have more of a formal conversation about it. You outline things you’re ok with, things you’re not, and things that you’d be willing to try.

- He hates to see you struggle- if you could only do x,y, or z you say- then you could be the person that you really wanted to be. And you’ve never been a chore for Namjoon, he loves you wholly at this point but even he can agree that there are some behaviors of yours and your attitude towards yourself that could use some gentle adjustments. 

- So Namjoon agrees to train you as his submissive, and he’s defiantly done before with his previous s/o’s but he’s never done it too quite this extent.  

- Safe words and limits are established, and you start the slow exploration with only a few hitches.  

- “I’m going to punish you for this, and then you’re going to let it go, and if you start to over analyzed it then ill have to punish you again. Do you understand?”  

- Sometimes you have to be punished more than once for a particular infraction because that bill you forgot to pay kept giving you stress, or you internally berate yourself for saying the wrong thing even after he’s told you that what you said was fine.

 - But Namjoon is never anything more than patient with you when this happens (and eventually it works- things that would stress you out for days barely hit your radar). 

- Usually he’ll start out with spanking, and if that doesn’t work then he’ll change implements, going for a flogger or a riding crop. 

- If that doesn’t work or if the infraction is more severe, he’ll mix pleasure in with the pain. 

- If that doesn’t work then the only way he can manage to still your brain and reduce you to a blubbering mess is by denying you over and over again.

- He’ll tie you up and blindfold you, and Namjoon will very delicately take you apart with his tongue and his hands, making you jerk against he restraints and beg for more stimulation- for him to fuck you, anything more than the light teasing touches you endure for hours. 

- He’ll also fool around with temperature play- though this is more his kink that yours, he loves watching you flinch away from the hot wax and then immediately applying ice making you flinch. He loves confusing your senses and seeing you like this- all because of him. 

- Little white lies where things that you’d both been trying to work on. If he lied to you, Namjoon would spoil you too make it up to you, whether this was by getting on his knees for you, letting you ride him, or just a night of movies and cuddles was up to you.

- Sometimes you could tell if Namjoon lied to you by how he walked in the door- carrying take out or a gift from another country- and it was never a bad lie, usually that he had been more stressed out than he let on, that everything hadn't gone off without a hitch when he’d said it was fine. How could you resent him when it was stuff like that?

- And if you lied to Namjoon it resulted in a punishment. In the first few months there where many white lies and many punishments, each time Namjoon would reduce you to tears by the time the punishment was finished.  your ass so sore you couldn't sit down for a week.  As you sniffled, said you where sorry Namjoon would kiss your cheeks, tell you that he forgave you, and praised you for taking it so well.

- He would walk in your apartment some days, to you already waiting for him on your knees. 

- “What a sweet a submissive I have. Do you know how much I want to ruin that pretty face of yours darling? Maybe I should walk you around on a leash one of these days and let the boys see what a prize I've got. Would you like that? their eyes on you? Do you want them to see what a perfect slut you are just for me? 

- it’s a little white lie that leads to the first time you safeword. 

- Namjoon makes you watch the two of you fuck in the practice room mirror. Namjoon noticed that you’d been skipping meals because of stress, and when he prompted you, you confessed to him that it was also because you didn’t have time to work out and were worried about gaining weight. 

- There is something profoundly difficult in watching yourself like Namjoon wants you too, as he enters you from behind you try to meet your own eyes but you can’t. 

- He stops the second the tears start to roll down your face and you choke out “red” covering you quickly with a blanket and turning you away from the mirror. after some chocolate covered strawberries and some cuddles, you have an in-depth discussion over what limit Namjoon pushed- a limit you didn't even know was there in the first place. 

- Aftercare with Namjoon is always a loving and quiet affair where he praises you for taking everything he’s got, he’ll feed you fresh fruit and chocolate or other sweets and delectable pastries.

- Sometimes you can guess whether or not a scene is coming based on the number of sweets in your fridge.

- During aftercare, he’ll also rub you down with lotion or a tingling oil with the lights are low and then afterword’s you’ll curl up on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

- Or sometimes he’ll entwine you with blankets after a nice long bubble bath (useful when Namjoon makes you messy and dirty which is quite often) and sit you in front of the couch and a movie while he brushes your hair and blow-dries it. Finishing it up with a facemask for each of you. 

- To ward off of sub drop sometimes he’ll schedule couples back massages a day or two after a particularly intense scene, and he takes you to a massage parlor that knows about the nature of your relationship and doesn't call the police when they see all the bruises on your body. 

- Namjoon has a bit of a marking kink. 

- Namjoon finds a special kind of satisfaction in the way he can reduce you to someone so needy and small- and loves taking care of you- deciding things for you even. 

- I see you and him not exactly dabbling in pet play but I think he defiantly makes use of a collar for you when you need to relax.

- He’ll notice you acting a little withdrawn and suddenly he’s ordering you to come to stand in front of him in that domineering tone of his that demands your absolute attention. 

- And it’s the cold press of the collar around your neck that finally snaps you out of the small stressed spiral. 

- He’ll make you wait for him to be done, while you kneel on the ground next to him with your hands bound behind your back in handcuffs. Then he’d make you suck him off underneath his desk before he bends you over it and fucks you until your legs are shaking. 

- When you start to act a little bratty and entitled Namjoon gives you exactly what you want- ties you up and tapes a vibrator too you leaving you alone in a room. 

- “You wanted to cum so bad? Well how about we try to break your record today sweetheart. let's see if you can cum more than 5 times by the time I get back from my meeting.”

- Namjoon regularly makes you beg for things, and dabbles lightly in degradation for you. 

- Sometimes the only time that you calm down from your stresses is when Namjoon walks into the room and tells you to get on your knees and makes you his slut. 

- And he never holds it against you never brings it up outside of your “training sessions” if anything he treats you gentler and with more respect. 

- Namjoon just wants to thank you but doesn’t know how to word it. 

- You might need submission for some sort of emotional relief but Namjoon needs domination too- sometimes his job makes him feel so out of control.

- Of course, it’s gotten better as the boys have gotten older, but he still remembers how it was before.

- All the cameras, how much is face hurt after he kept it in a controlled smile for hours, how every part of his day, from when he showered how he dressed and what he ate had been scheduled, and controlling you makes him feel so much better, makes him relax as much as it does for you.

- So Namjoon buys you crystal collars made of Swarovski, expensive strappy leather playsuits, and more sex toys than could logically be used in a month. 

- Namjoon and you have an incredibly stable relationship, built on communication and strengthened by the fact that you both know each other’s limits better than any other person.

- Your dom/sub relationship with Namjoon focuses more on making you both happier and less stressed out, and less on just the sex.

- It ends up being a really healthy thing for the two of you. 

[justjen523]

Perilous Paradise

Unknown x MC

Series Rating E (18+)

Within the Darkness       Chapter 3    (4 on A3)

“We're here!” The car comes to a stop off of a dirt road in the middle of the woods and I can’t help myself as I crack a half serious joke.

“Yeah....’cause this is definitely not a scene from a horror movie waiting to happen.” I stick my tongue out and he shakes his head while laughing at me.

“See, you are so convinced I want to hurt you but what you don’t understand is, if that was my goal you’d be dead already.”

“So what is your goal Mr. Unknown?”

“I told you several times already, to take you home.”

“Okay and then what?”

“You ask far too many questions. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, ‘curiosity killed the cat’?”

“Mm. Yeah I have but considering what you are asking of me, I think it’s a fair question to wanna know what I am getting myself into.” His sexy smile and enchanting eyes captivate me as he slowly leans over and captures my lips in a tender and gentle kiss.

“We will live happily ever after my princess doing whatever our hearts desire.” He speaks against my lips before tasting them once more.

“And what does your heart desire Unknown?” He smiles against my lips before nuzzling his cheek against mine. His voice is husky as he speaks quietly near my ear.

“Savoring every inch of the forbidden fruit I fought so hard to bring carefully home.” I gasp as his soft lips travel to my neck and I feel his hot breath against my cool skin.

"G-God what is it about you?” I breathe as my eyes close. I can never get enough of him touching me and that’s dangerous. I can’t say no to him for no other reason than, I simply don’t want to. Everything about him is like a drug. 

After leaving a trail of kisses down my neck to my chest he pulls away smiling wickedly.

“Look how beautiful my girl is when she wants me. You really are mine aren’t you? That’s right, you know you belong to me and I will never let you go. Not ever.” His words should command fear and send me running but for some insane reason I want what he says to be true. I smile shyly as he runs his fingers through my hair before pulling a lock to his lips. He inhales deeply and his eyes close, a deep sound of satisfaction vibrating in his chest. 

“Come, there’s something I want you to see before we return home.” After exiting the vehicle he opens my door surprising me yet again at this walking contradiction of a man. A bad boy gentleman? He’s like every girl’s wet dream. Taking my hand as I exit the car, he leads me through some thick tree’s and underbrush before it empties us out into a clearing. A large and lazy hill with shallow slopes awaits us as we swiftly climb it hand in hand.

“It’s beautiful here.” I say in astonishment. All along the tree-line fireflies dance as the sun finally sets below the horizon. The sound of cicadas can be heard singing as I inhale a lung full of clean fresh air. 

“Come, sit and wait and I’ll show you something wonderful.” Sprawling out on the grass we lay side by side and watch the sky change from brilliant shades of oranges and reds into purples and blues. Eventually the darkness of night engulfs us and without the light pollution from the city, a sky littered with bright and twinkling stars surrounds us. 

“I’ve never seen the sky this beautiful before. Thank you so much for bringing me here.” 

He smiles and continues staring wistfully up at the sky. In the silence that follows I can sense the melancholy that now fills this mysterious man. He sighs before sitting up and from his pocket he takes his flask and drinks deeply from it. 

“Just curious but what is it you’re drinking? The color is...fascinating.” He laughs as he screws the cap back on then tucking it away in his pocket. 

“Didn’t I tell you? I belong to a religious cult and this is our magic Kool-Aid.” The way he chuckles after saying it I can’t help but laugh along with him. He’s impossibly cute though I am sure that’s not the image he is going for. 

He pulls out the remainder of the joint from earlier and is about to light it but stops and turns to me first.

“You mind? If it’s going to bother you-” I sigh internally as I think, ‘_____, what the hell are you doing?‘ I snatch it along with the lighter from his fingers and light it up before taking a huge drag and handing it back to him. His eyes are wide and there’s a surprised yet very pleased grin on his handsome face. I make it about 4.5 seconds before I start coughing so violently I am sure some organs are going to come up with it. He takes a huge drag of his own before comforting me as best he can by rubbing my back.

“Oh Princess, that was brave.” I spare him a glance though my eyes are watering and I am unable to soothe the coughing. He takes another hit never taking his eyes off of me, watching me with a thoroughly enthralled smile. 

“I’m going to warn you now, after a hit like that, you are going to be high as fuck.” He chuckles sympathetically still rubbing my back. After about fifteen minutes of non stop coughing I finally start to stabilize and that’s when I realize my vision is severely blurred. My eyes search for him and when they find him I feel like they are somehow moving faster than my vision will allow. I slowly lift my hand in front of my face studying it a moment before bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. 

“W-What....is...this?” I barely manage trying to focus on him. Though it’s difficult to see straight I can tell he’s smiling at me. 

“Oh Princess. Hahaha! I’m so sorry.” He’s cracking up at the expression on my face and I am unable to help myself from joining him. 

“It’s amazing.” He says in a sweet tone grinning at me.

“W-What is?” I find forming words kind of a challenge in this state. 

“How you can be this fucking precious.” I giggle and he tossels my hair atop my head playfully sending a strange sensation cascading downward throughout my body.

“Mmmm…….wow. T-That feels...amazing.” My eyes close on their own as the lingering sensation sends pleasant shivers up and down my arms. 

“Yeah, this is a potent Indica strain. I grew it myself at home in our huge garden.”

“Y-You’re...allowed to....grow marijuana?” He chuckles at my innocent question.

“Well, I am pretty sure Savior wouldn’t like it if she knew but, I’m the one who tends the garden so I do whatever I want.”

“T-That’s...somehow not surprising.” I laugh until something he just said actually registers.

“W-Wait did you say Savior?”

“Mm, yeah I did. She is going to love you I know it.”

“Who is she?” I guess I was making a strange face as he blinks in surprise several times before cracking up at me.

“Oh no, don’t worry Princess. It’s not like that. You have nothing to worry about.”

“H-Huh?”

“You’re expression just now.”

“W-What about it?”

“You looked so angry, though I think a better description would be jealous.”

“J-Jealous?! Of her? Wait why, s-should I be?” He can’t help laughing at me and teasing me as I get more and more flustered and unable to properly articulate my frustrations. 

“No beautiful, you’re my only girl.”

“D-Damn right I am!” I suddenly proclaim loudly making him crack up once more at the seriousness with which I announce it.

“H-Hey! Don’t you dare laugh!” I shout at him trying to sound intimidating but fail miserably when I cannot restrain the laughter. I try to swat at him but greatly miss my mark and he pulls me into his arms so I don’t fall over from the force. 

“So naughty! Didn’t you learn your lesson last time?” He chuckles darkly in my ear.

“Mmm....probably not. I just like the w-way your hands feel on my body right now.” God what am I saying?

“Yeah? Do you want me to touch you more?” Wow that’s a loaded question and I am in no state to respond reasonably. 

“Yes.” I state shamelessly. He smirks cupping my cheek before sliding his hand down to lightly grip my chin bringing his lips to mine. I moan into his kiss helpless to resist him. He pulls his fingers lightly down my neck, over my chest making me arch my back into his touch. His hand stops at my naval before he pulls my shirt up exposing my stomach and pressing kisses all over.

“F-Fuck....this feels so....oh my god....” 

“Mmm, your skin is so soft Princess, I want to devour you.”

“G-God go ahead, this is so.....ah! Amazing. W-Why does this....feel so good?”

“Yeah? Tell me what you want me to do?”

“M-More....”

“More?”

“G-God, whatever you want...just...touch me....kiss me....” His hot breath rolls across my skin and a burst of heat shoots straight to my sex making me whimper under his ministrations. While his mouth continues its journey slowly upward, his hand goes right between my legs cupping me there.

“Oh holy fuck. P-Please, don’t tease me...” I grind my hips against his hand and he hums against my skin, dragging his soft lips up my chest. His head buried beneath my shirt traps the heat causing me to feel feverish. 

“Oh I like this. You’re so naughty.” 

“Nmm…..”

“Princess, be careful, if you get me too wound up I’m not going to be able to stop.”

“G-Good! I don’t want you to stop!”

“Haha! Yeah, I know you don’t but, you’re also not in your right frame of mind sweetheart.”

“Hey! I’m fully aware of what we’re doing!”

“Yeah? What do you want? For me to fuck you?”

“Y-Yes. I do.”

“God as much as I want to, I don’t want you to regret it after.”

“I-I won’t!” I protest, desperate to feel him inside me suddenly. The need powerful and consuming. He chuckles against my skin.

“No need to rush this beautiful. I’m not going anywhere.” A frustrated sigh escapes my lips and I sigh dramatically. Discontentment spilling out.

“Oh my, not what you wanted to hear? My girl is so naughty. I’ll be merciful since you’ve been such a good girl for me.” His fingers relinquish my sex and undo the button of my jeans, unzip them and then pull them fluidly from my body,setting them aside. I lift my ass this time to help remove the now sodden panties but he pushes my hips back down to the ground.

“Patience beautiful.” My chest is pounding in anticipation and I pull my hands through my hair splayed out around me in the grass. He then carefully lifts my hips and drapes my legs over his shoulders. Through my panties I feel his tongue drag along the fabric making my mind go numb. I tremble under his touch as he licks up and down torturously slow till I am crying from the bliss of the mixed and heightened sensations.

“S-So..good….” I can barely breathe. I hear him chuckle lowly, clearly pleased at the state I’m in.

“Christ you taste better than fucking ice cream.” He rips the fabric covering my sex pulling it from my body and sticking in his pocket. Fully exposed to him I start to feel shy until his wet, hot muscle glides across my throbbing core causing me to cry out.

“God Unknown!”

“Oh fuck beautiful..let me hear more of that voice. Sing for me.” I’m pretty confident I don’t disappoint. The cries of pleasure and bliss reverberate around us coupled with the lewd sounds from him feasting upon me like a last meal. My fingers twist in his hair and when his tongue plunges within, my body begins to quake at the intensity. 

“Fuck....oh god....Unknown...Unknown!”

“Yeah Princess....gimme more.”

“S-Shit! I’m gonna....”

“Cum for me, I want to drink that delicious nectar.” It was too much, the coil within was too taught and finally snapped sending me into a convulsing mess. I never came so hard in all my life. It stole the air from my lungs and caused giant tears to pool in the corners of my eyes. A string of incomprehensible sounds of gratification echoing in the darkness. 

He growled, clearly pleased as he licked, sucked and drank down my lust for him until I couldn’t take anymore and began to squirm uncomfortably from the sensitivity. When he sat up a glossy sheen covered his lips and chin. He wiped it away with his hand before bringing each finger to his mouth to suck clean.

“Goddamn Princess. You have quite a tasty little snatch don’t you? Mm. I’ll lick your pretty pussy anytime.” He crawled atop me and claimed my mouth hungrily allowing me to feel his hard-on press firmly into my thigh.

“Hey.” I pulled away from the kiss.

“Yeah Princess?”

“You’re fucking amazing.” I breathed. He laughed reclaiming my mouth kissing me deeply and once more stealing my breath away.

“And..” I manage, separating our lips.

“And?” He repeats kissing my nose.

“Why don’t you let me return the favor?”

“Mmm such a naughty girl indeed.” He licks across my lips teasingly before giving me a gorgeous grin.

“Not tonight Princess. Tonight is about you.” He states without room for debate. I go to protest but he presses his index finger to my lips and shakes his head. 

“But....our night is almost over.” I realize in a rather depressing tone.

“It doesn’t have to be.” He takes my hand in his and kisses the back softly, his ethereal looking eyes glowing in the moonlight. My heart is thrumming steadily in my chest and though every ounce of reason screams for me to part ways, he has already claimed my heart and it will not be swayed.

“You were right Unknown. I am your girl. Please, take me home.”

tbc

[naruhearts]

13x20: “I don’t care what happens to me”-- Dean Worthless Winchester, John Winchester’s Death and Destiel

Oh my god!

I gotta say, 13x20 was an ANGSTY FEELSY amalgamation of meta and foreshadowing for the Big Finale Triad of 21, 22, and 23. It laid down S5 tones, key themes, and narrative direction, hoo boy!!! 

I’m sorry I posted late! Time-of-month sickness was an interruption, yikes.

I’d like to start with the Dean & Sam final scene, then talk about the major culminating implications this Father-centric episode specifically holds for our beloved protagonist Dean Winchester the shackled child — the Man behind the Mask (which S13 has been a gigantic narrative mirror of) — and the Destiel narrative/Cas in relation to Dean’s arc and character disposition *rubs hands together*

Glynn & Co made Dean’s axel-swinging between communication and miscommunication pretty clear to me in the last scene of 13x20, especially regarding the dialogue that people thought was character regression into Brodependency.

After sleeping on it, I didn’t see the same scale of toxic codependency from seasons ago a la ‘there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.’ It wasn’t mutual. I saw it as: 1. more from Sam’s end, and 2. Dean’s willingness to protect his loved ones (Sam and CAS, in bold) combined with letting go and the textual acknowledgement of his low self-worth carrying over from 13x05 (the low self-worth he internalized across 99.6798% of his life course).

Firstly, Dabb’s subverting S5. 

He put independent Dean in S5 independent Sam’s shoes here, and it’s surely not a coincidence that Dean himself referenced their implosive S5 Michael-Lucifer mess: “Where we were last time we had front row seats”. S5 exhibited Dean’s Holding On vs Sam’s Letting Go, with lost Dean crawling to Lisa’s door and yeah, we know how that prickly-edged story went. It’s finally Dean Letting Go vs Sam Holding On. It’s indicative of S13 faithless Grieving!Sam re: Mary/Jack seeking his own emancipation and finding real introspective purpose away from the codependent strings he’s clinging to. We heard Sam’s “If we die, we die together”. Don’t fret, his current arc is constructed to get rid of this kind of thinking and move towards Faith!

Dean’s prepared to cut the codependent strings — already has via 12x22, and then in 13x05 (albeit in a suicidal grief-ridden manner. Speaking of, 13x20 this time shifted focus to Sam’s risk-taking re: Lucifer and the Apocalypse in itself. Unsurprisingly, we already witnessed this narrative train running in reverse -- early S13 Grieving!Dean and Functioning Sam swapped roles post-13x06 and in 13x11. Man, I am pumpin’ my fists).

Atop the bro dualism, Dean’s behaviour in 13x20 concerned me the most, saddened me the most, and intrigued me the most. 

:’( 

I may have yelled said that Dean has emotionally matured, eliminated toxic coping mechanisms, achieved an internal balance between his femininity and non-performative masculinity (acknowledged in 13x04; actively manifested in 13x16 onwards x, x), and gained a sense of non-combative communication and understanding (seen in 13x14), yet his low self-worth constitutes the biggest roadblock to his FULL personal growth.

Okay, I know you’ll exclaim: after Cas returned, Dean wasn’t depressed anymore! 

Well, that’s accurate and relatively inaccurate. Dean’s low self-worth is the central facet of his characteristic development, and it does have a guaranteed correlation with depression. Yes, you can feel worthless without being clinically depressed, but worthlessness is maladaptive and contributes to feeling depressed --> Dean’s depression. 

Dean’s case is a heartbreaking one. He’s been depressed for YEARS. He never really cared about what happened to him for YEARS = our Dean meta textualized in gloomy letters!!

Yes, the single individual -- the canon WIN -- that placed him back on the rails was Cas, his Everything, resurrecting from the dead. Cas’ return drastically mitigated Dean’s severe nihilistic depression (aka his rock bottom nihilistic grief when he lost Cas) BUT it didn’t necessarily fix his pre-existing depression.

S13 depicts Dean -- despite Cas’ bright presence -- as traveling the rails empty. There’s not enough coal to fuel his engine because he LACKS the mental faculties to appropriately cope re: trauma and give up his control. This is why he seems to oscillate between character progression and regression, and he still isn’t 100% HONEST and OPEN about his feelings. He’s keepin’ it in. There’s no healthy psychological unload taking place.

Case in point? Dean’s regressed to drinking the hard booze again; Cas FILLS the negative spaces (as he’s been doing throughout S13). Dean is not disclosing the whole truth -- not saying what he’s genuinely feeling (to CAS. I discuss it x, x, x). 

Plus, Dean’s internal worries re: Death, the next apocalyptic war, Cas’ Heavenly plans, and his respective destiny/fate (Death’s “See you soon”) just exacerbate the personal instability he’s experiencing.

And then we observe Dean’s parental duty rearing its head:

To me this is what reiterated the Brodependency being dismantled in late S12/S13 (12x22 and 13x12/15 in particular). Don’t get me wrong – Dean’s mostly let go. He was willing to leave Sam behind in 13x05 after losing the one person who textually means Everything to him. 

Dean’s psyche is at a point right now where he AIN’T okay with Sam’s risk-taking. He questions his little brother’s half-baked plans and sympathizes with the close-to-here manic desperation (again, mirroring S5 and S13 Grieving!Dean), except Dean’s low self-worth puts him in the dark position: I’m doing it, all of it, for YOU (Sam and Cas) since I don’t value myself enough to do it for ME. He further says--

He obviously does, but us, the audience, know--in dramatic irony fashion--that this is NOT Dean’s entire truth.

He values his brother more than himself, and he values CAS more than himself. He cares about what happens to CAS. Nothing Else Matters. And we’re aware that Cas canonically occupies the highest pedestal in Dean’s life, which TPTB absolutely highlighted during Dean’s grieving arc, Cas’ return, and 13x16 onwards. 

(In this scene, Dean continues to tell Sam what he’s NOT telling Cas. USE THE RIGHT WORDS.)

 Cas is the love of Dean’s life, his Everything, and his Win. I mentioned before that losing Cas a second time would destroy him.

(**Dating 101: Dean therefore cannot establish a truly healthy, mutually interdependent relationship with Cas if he has low self-worth. He’s trying, but his personal losses -- more LOSSES than wins this season i.e. AU!Charlie/Mary/Jack in AU, non-confronted traumas i.e. Cas’ death, and insecurities cripple his ability to give Cas ALL of himself, out in the open!)

Although Dean HAS FAITH (Cas), the decisions he’ll formulate to protect/save Sam, Mary, Jack, and especially Cas aren’t exactly derived from mental stability. Keeping them safe is too paramount to Dean that the choices he’ll encounter could be questionable/dangerous, putting him in the line of (sacrificial) fire. 

Sound familiar? It’s deliberately supposed to sound familiar!

Jack, TFW’s Unity/Balance symbol and characteristic mirror, even stated that ‘if he can’t keep others safe, what’s the use’?

Dean will make the penultimate save-the-world (read: save my family) decision ALONE regardless of Sam’s regressive wish to die together. And I wrote that his arc is now DIRECTLY paralleling S11 Casifer & Depressed!Cas’ S11/12 arc, especially (mis)communicative 12x19 --> 12x23 ‘I Have Faith’ Cas. There’s prevalent narrative symmetry in Dean’s arc (intrinsically linked to Cas’ arc).

“You, me, and Sam...we’re just better together” indeed, and this year’s season-ender should unite TFW like last season--unite Dean and Cas--in order to change their fates/defeat Death, but Dean’s decision will be an isolated one --> one that was foreshadowed as he faced expositional Daddy Issues™ Loki by himself. And Dean may not tell Cas, just like Cas hadn’t told Dean in 12x23 about his sacrificial act.

These vastly important storytelling threads ultimately conjoin with “I don’t care what happens to me. I never really have” as the PINNACLE of Dean’s 13-year long characterization; the progressive climax sparking his death/decay so that he can be reborn and revitalized aka THIS IS IT!! Dean’s impending death and self-sacrifice for his loved ones (CAS) = the ultimate catharsis in that S13′s narrative has finally approached the IRL scenario of 13x16 ghost kid (DEAN)’s release from father figure Bad Man -- from the negative influence of all the other literal (Loki, Odin, Lucifer, James Turner) and metaphorical (Asmodeus, Buddy, Michael) fatherly mirrors permeating this season. He’ll LET GO of everything that incarcerated him since he was 4 years old: his Blunt Tool role, control, manipulation, parental abuse and absenteeism, parental duty, the heteronormative patriarchy, and the long-standing trauma slapped on him by Alastair, Amara, and Cain.

He’ll burn the remaining pocket knife of all pocket knives tethering him to his past -- John Winchester x, x He’ll self-transform.

And Dean’s S13 death would fulfill the sacrificial Act of True Love (with Cas holding heavy weight in Dean’s decision for LOVE)--

--and S14 Winning Him Back in the subverted flavour of S10. Romance tropes abound!!

 @thetwistedwillow and @sactownbrowns3 both ignited my stomach-churning feels. This is an extremely pivotal visual. The Michael-reminiscent sword and radiant halo-like lights atop Dean’s head? Yeah, set off HUGE Michael!Dean radars. Complete moral dualism with S10 Demon!Dean--selflessness vs selfishness. Free choice (saying yes to possession) vs stolen choice (demon transformation against his will).

Secondly, as aforementioned, Dean’s harbouring a LOT of traumas he hasn’t mentally confronted, with Daddy Issues™ re: John Winchester (reflected via Dean’s solo faceoff with Loki) as his overarching undealt source of trauma.

Loki tells Dean: “The truth is, [Odin] despised me, but he was my father. I’m sure you understand. What would you do for your father?” 

And Dean stabs Loki’s hologram. He stabs the metaphorical father figure who neglected his sons. He stabs another narrative embodiment of John’s ghost, foreshadowing that Dean’s death = John Winchester’s final death. It’s time to deconstruct and conquer his influence.

(Gabriel was an extended mirror of both Dean and Sam, too. Gabe, the little brother whom deadbeat Daddy Chuck never paid attention to. ‘Ah, big bros, right? Always think they know best’ Gabe, who stabbed and killed deadbeat Loki. Gabe, who subsequently ran away from home, was used and tortured beneath Asmodeus’ control, embarked on a revenge trip, and didn’t feel good about it. Dean and Sam themselves knew what it felt like to be manipulated. While it’s true that their traumatic experiences are subjective, they share common Deadbeat Father-adjacent life courses.)

What beautiful and consistent silent storytelling!!

And oh look, narratively associated to this ^^ is the reappearance of Dean’s John-linked BAG OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE--

I can’t can’t can’t wait for him to let go of it PERMANENTLY! 

And of course, Cas’ death remains his immediate significant source of undealt trauma (same links above:  x, x, x)

*looks at Dean’s serious, intense, and emotionally laden expression* *clutches chest tight* *blinks away tears*

I additionally wrote something about Endverse!Cas and D/C (mis)communication a few months ago which I feel is relevant again:

And we know HUMAN Endverse!Cas was representative of that, a sad, depressed, and hollow depiction of the wrong choices for the right reasons who festers (AND DIES), in part because of Dean’s wrong choices, and also because of his own consciously uninformed, narrow-minded choices that led to this literal apocalypse of mind, body and soul.

5x04 laid down what Cas (and Dean) shouldn’t become. If both Cas and Dean (TFW) continue to fail in learning their lessons regarding healthy interdependence (where control must become equality; ignorance must become understanding; intransigence must become compromise; stonewalling must become transparency; lying must become honesty; silence must become communication), Endverse will be their life.

Thankfully, they’re learning as of S13 onwards and I’m ECSTATIC. Slow but sure progress (13x15′s conveying the shift), yet they still have to use the RIGHT WORDS.

Endverse!Dean, who never gave up his control to Cas nor listened to him, was himself consumed by the NEED over the WANT and an authoritarian means to an end. He lost everyone. And Endverse posed an ultimatum for Dean (and Cas’ own characteristic progress): keep your control forever, and you’ll have one destination–no growth, no life, no freedom. 

Full circle!

Dean Winchester must die so he can live.

And what are Dean’s WINS (plural) by dying? Saving people instead of losing people--saving Mary, Jack, Sam, and Cas. Saving the world. Reuniting his family unit. Interacting instead of performing. OUTING INSTEAD OF HIDING. HIGH DEPRESSIONLESS SELF-WORTH INSTEAD OF LOW DEPRESSIVE SELF-WORTH.

Better yet, Dean will undergo character development in relation to his loved ones (and Cas). With high self-worth, Dean’s capable of learning how to value HIMSELF independently. In turn, without personal obstacles he’ll learn how to sustain HEALTHY interdependent relationships and COMMUNICATION as well as learn how to WHOLLY GIVE HIMSELF to others (Cas).

Tell Cas he’s not expendable, Dean. Disclose the real reason YOU “needed him back”. Expose your feelings, choose Want over Need, and push away your rejection fears! Cas loves you dearly—let him know that his love for you is reciprocated. Nothing but good things ahead!!

Gosh, this post is way longer than I expected—thank youu for sticking to it! Circumstances shall get worse before they get better, and it’s totally necessary to ensure our characters meet the final demise of their prisons.

BTW, I still can’t believe we got a borderline blatant onscreen bi!Dean (and Cas insert) treat!! What’s by is by! Overall I’m incessantly praising Dabb’s spectacular work so far + Glynn and Rich Speight Jr’s craft in this ep!!

Very little sub is left in the text, my friends. TPTB are rendering years’ worth of meta increasingly explicit in S13. I can only HOPE and expect that 13x23/S14 brings us past the Point of Know Return subtextual boundaries and into full-blown textual narrative! Authorial intent EXISTS. 

**I know, I know--S14 wasn’t confirmed as the last season and S15 is fair game. The plot accordion, as per usual, re-emerges with the slight overhaul/pullback of characteristic arcs and narrative plot due to season renewals, but I’m Endgame Positive that slow progress is SURE progress. Imho Dean and Cas are so close in saying everything from saying nothing. THE UNSAID WILL BE SAID.

Bracing myself for the last 3 episodes—they’ll burn us in awesome ways!! 

[creative-frequency]

Ravus x Fem!Reader: Glances Ch. 5

Word count: 2697 Warnings: None Notes: Modern University AU. A spin off for @lucianhuntress‘s Love Colored Pens.

Previous Chapter | Glances Masterlist

‘I am so stupid!’ you huffed angrily in your thoughts, ‘Why do I always fall for someone like that?! Do I enjoy feeling like garbage? Am I a masochist? Urgh!’

You slammed the box of folders down on Aranea’s desk. Luckily, she had not been in her office, so you had used your key to get inside.

‘Idiot! That’s what happens when you go making out with a colleague!’

A mixture of desperate anger and hopeless gloom weighted you down. You really should have known. It never ended well, did it? Life was not a movie or a romance novel. Men like Ravus just didn’t magically fall in love with someone like you. You were ashamed of even having gotten your hopes up, but since the accident had already happened, there was not much you could do anymore.

Your mood did not improve during the rest of the day, but luckily you saw no sign of Ravus. You did not fancy the thought of running into him right now.

However, the next morning when you arrived at work, you noticed him by the café door. Your heart sank and not matter how much you willed it, you couldn’t stomp down the shred of hope rearing its head inside you.

You strictly decided to ignore Ravus. He was fixated on you with a cup of whatever fancy coffee he usually drank. You hurried your steps to the relative safety of your office, but he called out to you.

“Y/N! Hold on.”

A chill flushed through your body, raising a wave of goosebumps on your skin and the hairs upon your arms. You halted after another step and carefully turned to look at the approaching man. Your eyes instantly found his lips and you mentally slapped yourself. It was really not the time for longing gazes.

“There’s something we need to talk about,” Ravus said in a surprisingly even tone, as if he was just reading the words from a paper out loud. However, his stare was still intimidating.

“Is there?” you winced and cleared your throat to gain some strength in your voice, “I’m busy,” you continued sternly.

You had arrived an hour early at work to have time to enjoy a cup of coffee in peace and to catch up on Aranea’s teaching materials for the day. But now it seemed you would have to change your plans, since the pathway to the café was compromised by an angry looking, gorgeous man.

Ravus’s brows furrowed and the painfully familiar glare was back on his face.

You almost sighed in relief. “I mean, can it wait?” you asked carefully, really hoping that he would give up.

“Yes, never mind then. I suppose you have more important things to do… being an intern and all.” His voice had taken a step towards the icy coldness. Hurt was evident on his face and it made you bite back your intended response. Instead of saying “EXCUSE ME” in the angry tone that wanted to push through, you said:

“G-good. Excuse me,” and held back the reflex to swallow.

Ravus turned to leave without saying another word, so you took the chance and hurried away. When you closed the office door, you were left alone with your wildly running mind and thumping heart.

Over the following week, you began chastising yourself from not hearing Ravus out. Maybe he had just wanted to apologize, again. Or, maybe it had been about something completely different? Nevertheless, he had looked like you had just insulted him in the worst possible way and that erased any hopes of a replay you might have harbored. Ravus Nox Fleuret did not seem like the type to offer second chances easily. The thought made you even more upset because of your own stupid actions.

‘This is going to be a miserable semester.’

Unless… you would try to do something about it. You paused. You knew the situation was probably unsalvageable. You just did not want to let go. Ravus’s hurt expression played on repeat in your mind along with his cold words. Had he gone out of his way in trying to talk with you? Probably. Did it seem like something he just didn’t do? Absolutely. Had you fucked up? Majorly.

You made a decision: The next time you would see Ravus, you would ask him what he had wanted to talk about. All possible scenarios from another make out session to him getting you fired because of sexual harassment went through your head.

But when the moment of truth finally came a few days later, you were totally unprepared to face him.

You heard laughter and picked up a stack of graded essays to give to Aranea. Ravus was talking with her, casually leaning against the doorframe to her office. The distance from your office to the one next door was longer than imaginable and all the while walking, you stared at Ravus’s gorgeous from. Your palms were sweating and all the openers you could say were heavily judged in your mind.

“H-hey,” you stammered as lamely as you possibly could.

Ravus’s scrutinizing gaze was instantly on you. Aranea called you inside and your legs were numb as Ravus stepped into the office to let you past him. A whiff of his heavenly scent caught your senses.

“Here’s the essays,” you said mechanically and offered the papers to Aranea.

“Oh, thanks. That was fast,” she said with a surprised smile and turned to speak to Ravus: “See? Maybe you should hire an assistant too.”

You didn’t have it in you to turn to face his gaze, but you sure felt it on your back.

“Seems like a waste of time. I’d rather do the work myself to be spared from any further… disputes.” Ravus’s tone was ice cold and you were sure the words contained a spike for you. Your brain just didn’t want to comprehend the thought of him insulting you on purpose.

However, his next words left no place for doubt.

“You’re such a killjoy,” Aranea said and laughed. She flashed a smile for you, which almost made you feel better.

“Well I haven’t gotten a reason to hire one, looking at your intern.” Ravus’s voice was not mean, he simply stated a fact.

You blanched.

“You haven’t seen what she can really do,” Aranea said, taking a defensive tone, but still trying to keep the talk as the light banter it had been before your arrival. Sure, Ravus was often in a bad mood these days, but he had just crept a little below his usual level of politeness and frankly, Aranea was surprised.

“Well pardon me for not living up to your expectations. Excuse me, I have actual work to do…” you heard the words flowing from your mouth, but your mind was numb.

You turned to leave and looked strictly past Ravus as you passed him. Stubbornly you held your breath to not catch even an accidental sniff of his scent. Each step towards your office made you angrier and by the time you closed the door behind you, you had to restrain yourself from turning back to give Ravus a piece of your mind.

‘He is a frigid jerk.’ You scoffed and sat by the desk, leaning heavily on your elbows. You were really not in the mood to do work anymore as your mind kept coming up with insults to throw at Ravus and having an imaginary with fight him.

Soon you began to realize that all your imaginary fights kept ending the same way: You against the office wall and Ravus’s breath hot on your skin.

You threw a pen at the opposite wall and it rolled on the floor. “Whyyy…” You dragged your palms down your cheeks and grunted.

‘What have I done to deserve this?’ you thought and got on your feet to pick up the pen.

‘Oh, right. I made out with an insanely hot colleague in the storage room and he regrets it. That’s what.’ You heaved a sigh. It was clear that you were not going to get any work done anymore, so you might have as well leave for the day.

Having to keep your focus on the traffic helped to take your mind off Ravus, but as you were greeted by the silence of your empty apartment, all those thoughts crashed right back. You kept chastising yourself of reliving the storeroom scene in your thoughts and simultaneously fantasizing about what could have happened.

Dinner did nothing to keep away the memory of feeling Ravus’s lips against yours. Neither did housework. Before you knew it, you had cleaned your apartment from floor to ceiling and were completely exhausted.

‘I might be an idiot, but he’s a total ass,’ you huffed in your thoughts and slumped down on the couch. You stared at the cover of the book that resided on the coffee table. The image was almost spitting at you as it depicted a man and a woman, captured in a searing kiss. Your cheeks were burning.

‘Then why can’t I stop thinking about his hands on my body?’

You reached out to turn the book upside down and grabbed the remote.

“What’s with the romance flicks tonight?” you huffed angrily as you kept browsing the channels. ‘Not another kiss scene! NO! Not another cringe-worthy sex scene! Urgh!’

Even the documentary channel showed various mating habits of the mammals on Eos and that was too much for you. Eventually you just gave up with the television and went to sleep. Or rather, to scold yourself about thinking of Ravus.

The next morning you felt miserable. Not just because of the badly slept night, but because despite of all the thinking you had done, you still had not come up with any other solution than to stay away from Ravus. The thought made you angry and sad. How had you failed so miserably to judge his character and let yourself get into such a situation? It was unbelievable. And just as much your fault as Ravus’s.

“Is everything okay?” Aranea asked, glancing curiously at you in the midst of her lunch.

You couldn’t help but to heave a sigh. “Yes.” You wanted to thank Aranea for standing up to you when Ravus was being an ass, but somehow you thought it best not to draw any more attention to the matter.

“Okay then…” Aranea said slowly, not buying your curt reply. “Wanna talk about it?”

You let out an irritated chuckle. “Not really. I want to forget all about it.” You bit into your tuna-filled baguette and munched angrily.

“You mean Ravus?” Aranea asked sharply. Her eyes were intently studying your frown that only deepened.

“Sorry, I know he is your friend and colleague, but he is an ass,” you said with your mouth full.

Aranea laughed mirthfully. Your words were the furthest thing from news to her. “He can be. He isn’t usually so rude like yesterday. But don’t worry, I already let him know that.” A mischievous grin spread on her lips and she returned her attention to the food.

‘Does she know what happened? No way Ravus would’ve told her…’ You cleared your throat after swallowing.

“Thanks,” you said, “Uh, so what did you say to him?” You tried to sound more disinterested than you were in reality, but there was no fooling Professor Highwind.

“That we are not in kindergarten anymore, so pulling hair is not taken as a sign of affection,” Aranea said and chuckled lightly, “At least not in the stage you guys apparently are.”

Good thing your mouth was empty or otherwise you might have choked. “S-stage? I don’t know what you’re talking about. We are not… in… any…” Your voice trailed off under Aranea’s amused look.

“Well, well. So you are closer to the hair pulling stage than I thought. What happened?”

You looked around you to make sure no one was listening. ‘Am I seriously discussing this with my boss?’ Aranea looked expectantly at you. ‘I guess I am…’

You managed to pull a thin smile. “We had a moment. And it was a mistake,” you explained, trying to sound as neutral as possible. The make out session so did not bother you anymore. You were completely over Mr. Frigid Jerk.

“Was he any good?” Aranea didn’t bother to hide her wide grin.

A heavy blush flushed your face. Your ears felt hot and you placed your palms on them to cool them down. “That’s not the issue here!” you cried louder than you had intended to.

Aranea laughed, again. “You two are hopeless, really.” She shook her head.

“So, uh–“ you awkwardly started.

“I’ll talk to him,” Aranea said.

“No! I mean, please don’t. I just want to forget it ever happened,” you said quickly. You heart was beating uncomfortably loud in your ears and the blush had only slightly settled.

Aranea sighed through her nose and examined your pained expression. “Understood. Do what you need to do, Y/N.”

You accepted her words with a grateful nod.

Two days passed with you voluntarily holed up in your office with a mountain of paperwork. You dreaded the moment you would eventually bump into Ravus. It was very unlikely that he would try to strike a conversation with you ever again, but you still didn’t fancy the thought of his scornful look upon you.

But as it were, you could not avoid him forever.

Your mind was calmer and not completely filled with guilt and Ravus anymore, when you left your office to go for lunch. Fumbling with your keys and about to lock the office door, you paid no mind to the lonely steps echoing in the corridor. After hearing the satisfying click from the lock, you turned.

The second you noticed Ravus walking towards you, your eyes snapped strictly forward, not allowing yourself another glance at him. You held on to your last ripples of dignity and managed to stay on your feet and not sprint into a jog.

You heart felt tight in your chest and a part of you wanted to turn back to and try to talk with Ravus. You forced your feet forward, clutching into the shoulder strap of your bag.

After the lunch spent thinking about Ravus, again, you had a hard time focusing on grading the essays before you. Again. You read through one, only to realize how you had no idea what it had been about, not to mention the grade it would earn. You huffed in irritation and slammed the pencil from your hand on the desk.

‘Urgh, I should just go home, I can’t do anything at the moment–‘

Your thoughts and teeth grinding were interrupted by a knock on the door. Your heart jumped and after a short moment of hesitation, you asked the visitor to come in.

To your relief, it was a woman wearing a curious outfit of green apron and a cap. She held a huge bouquet of flowers. They were a deep shade of lilac, each one growing in a cotton candy -figured cluster. The individual flowers were star shaped, a bit bigger than your thumbnail.

“Miss Y/N?” the woman asked with a bright smile.

“Yes?” you said carefully.

“You have a flower delivery.”

Dumbfound, you reached out to take the offered bouquet. ‘Hyacinths? Shouldn’t these things be sold as a bulb in a pot, not as huge-ass bouquet?’ You searched, but there was no card or a note attached.

“From who?” you asked, but were already beginning to guess the answer.

“It was an anonymous sender. Well then, have a nice day!”

You stared at the flowers. Part of you was wondering where you would find a suitable vase for them. ‘Anonymous…’

“Wait! What do they mean?” you yelped hastily after the courier. She peeked from behind the door that she had almost closed already.

“Hmm. Purple hyacinths… They mean an apology or ask for forgiveness. With that size of a bouquet, I hope you will.” With a grin, the courier disappeared again.

You slumped into your chair with the deepest frown your face had ever twisted into.

Next Chapter

[drxcodormixns]

Trust pt. 1

Remus Lupin x Reader

Request: Can you write a Remus imagine where he and the reader are a couple but he doesn't tell her that he is a werewolf and she feels sad plus the girl is a really clumsy wizard so she feels like she doesn't belong in Hogwarts and she leaves and goes home. After some days she gets a letter from the boys about Remus being hurt and she goes back to the school and he tells her that he is a werewolf. I know it's too detailed but pleeease write it for me with a lot of fluff and don't forget to make me cry

Part 2

Remus walks into the room quietly, treading carefully so as to not wake Y/N up. Slowly shutting the door behind him, he makes his way to his bed and pulls his shirt over his head, wincing as he catches sight of some of the cuts on his chest. He slides under the covers and places his arm over Y/N’s waist and she stirs slightly at the feel of the added weight. “Where were you?” Y/N asks sleepily, yawning as she turns to face her boyfriend. “Er – nowhere,” he responds, placing a swift peck to her lips, and lying her back down. The minute her head hits the pillow she falls back asleep, making Remus let out a relieved breath and snuggle closer to her. Before he can really fall asleep, the door creaks open again and James walks in. On his way to his own bed, he glances over at Remus and Y/N cuddled together and sighs. “Moony… you have to tell her,” he says quietly, careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping girl up as he addresses his friend. Remus lies still, pretending to be asleep so that he doesn’t have to respond. “I know you’re awake, Moony,” James mutters, shaking his head, but lets it go and flops into his own bed with a huge yawn.

The next day, a Saturday, Remus wakes up to an empty bed. Glancing around the room, he sees that all the other beds in the dorm are occupied except for James’. Confused, he gets up and walks out the door whilst pulling on a shirt. On his way down the stairs to the common room he hears soft voices and pauses slightly, straining to hear the conversation, and by virtue of the early hour, he is able to pick up snippets of conversation. “… I think he’s hiding something from me.” His eyes narrow when he recognizes Y/N’s voice and takes another step to get a little closer. “He… um… well, Y/N –” Remus closes his eyes and groans internally as he listens to James fumbling for an answer, but he’s saved by Y/N cutting him off. “I’m his girlfriend, and it just – it hurts that he thinks he can’t trust me,” Y/N says in a soft, wavering voice and Remus’ heart breaks when he hears it and he blocks out the rest of the conversation. He just wants to keep her safe. Telling her about being a werewolf would just hurt her even more. He stands there for a couple minutes, his eyes squeezed shut, but eventually he takes the last couple of steps down and moves into the common room.

Y/N glances up as he enters the room, the expression of intense focus on her face faltering slightly when she sees her boyfriend. “Hi, Remus,” she says, slightly tentatively. Remus returns the smile and strides over to her, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. When they break away, he glances at James who’s standing slightly to the side. “W-what’re you guys doing?” Y/N pulls the notes on the table towards her and points her wand towards the goblet that James nicked from the great hall again. “James is helping me with transfiguration. I-I’m having some trouble with that class.” Taking in her defeated expression, Remus puts an encouraging arm around her shoulder. “Love, you can do this. Just focus, okay?” Y/N looks up, smiling softly at Remus’ efforts to make her feel better, but the distraction makes her concentration waver and the room is suddenly filled with a loud bang. Y/N gasps slightly and rushes towards James, who is on the floor groaning as he tries to push the collapsed table off of him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Tears begin to fill Y/N’s eyes as she takes in the form of the boy, cursing herself for being so clumsy. “’S-‘s alright,” James lets out through clenched teeth. Remus finally succeeds in tugging the table off of him and, with a wave of his wand, adds the table leg that Y/N had accidently vanished. James hops up, already brushing the injury off, and throws his arms around Y/N who has tears streaming down her face. Remus looks around, noticing for the first time the students who heard the sound flooding into the common room, taking in the scene. Pulling Y/N out of James’ grasp, he intertwines his fingers in hers and tugs her out of the common room. “C’mon, love, let’s get you some breakfast.”

“Have any of you seen Y/N?” Remus asks, wild with worry. He hasn’t seen her since breakfast and neither have any of her friends or the other marauders. Sirius jumps up when he sees the anxiety in Remus’ face and places a consoling hand on his shoulder. “’S okay, mate, she’ll turn up soon.” The minute the words leave his mouth, Y/N appears from the door to the girls dormitory stairs. Remus rushes over to her and envelops her in a hug. He’s so relieved to see her that, at first, he doesn’t notice the suitcase that he’s lugging behind her, but after a few seconds, he pulls away and furrows his brow. “What is that?” he inquires, pointing towards the trunk in her hands. Y/N doesn’t meet her eyes when she responds. “I’m leaving,” she mutters under her breath. At first, Remus doesn’t get it and simply nods his head without understanding. After the words sink in, however, his eyes widen and he backs away slightly. “W-what? Love, I… I don’t…” he trails off as he stares at Y/N, who finally raises her tear-filled eyes to meet him. “I don’t belong here, Remus. I’m not a very good witch.” She chuckles softly, trying to inject some humor into the situation, but she fails when a tear rolls down her face. “And… and there are people that don’t really trust me here.” Remus’ face falls at that, remembering the conversation he had overheard earlier in the day. “Y/N, love… please, just stay, I’ll help you –” Y/N cuts him off by leaning up and placing a soft kiss to his lips. He reaches up and cups her cheek in his hand, wiping her tear off with his thumb and reveling in the familiar feeling of her soft skin and sweet lips. She pulls away far too soon and, before he can gather his wits, she’s gone.