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shoukiko · 9 months

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Merry Christmas, Simon

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

Tags: Fluff....just fluff lol

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I've been working on this for a bit, just waiting to post it today, I'm all antsy, I really hope you guys like it.

You’ve worked with TF141 for the past three years. Price spoke to Laswell, saying that he thought the team deserved some type of break, so he and Laswell came up with an “amazing holiday getaway” to “a hidden oasis where the only sounds you hear are the rustling leaves and the soothing melody of birdsong.”. It was a small cabin in the middle of nowhere, for safety reasons, but you were all grateful for it. It was 2 weeks away, a day would’ve been fine, but she insisted.

It was a week and two days into the trip, snowing outside, your turn for chores. Soap and Gaz sat on the couch in front of an old television watching some soap opera. Price is sitting in one of the lounge chairs, asleep with his arms crossed as his head dangles. You’re tidying up the kitchen after a late dinner, you turn to look at the clock hung on the wall which reads, 12:05. You realize what this entails as you turn to the three men.

“Merry Christmas, guys!” You say cheerfully in their direction.

“Merry Christmas, Lass.” Soap says from his seat, he nudges Gaz to respond. “Ah- Yea Merry Christmas…” He seems to be too focused on the TV show, who can blame him, those telenovelas are addicting. You decide against waking Price up, the man needs his sleep. As you turn back to the sink you feel a tap on your left shoulder, you turn to see Ghost’s tall dark figure hovering over you, sporting his casual skull balaclava.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” You tilt your head as you ask, genuinely curious as to what he could need that requires a tap on the shoulder instead of him outright asking.

“You got a minute? Wanted to see if we could have a quick chat.” His tone is somewhat nervous? He isn’t as husky or gritty as usual. “Sure, let me finish up and-” He cuts you off before you can finish. “It’s important. I’ll help you out after.”

Must really be important if the Ghost tells you it is. “Alright.” You wipe your hands on your apron, untying it from your back and hanging it up on a nearby chair. “Grab your coat.” He dons his own coat, all in one fell swoop. You grab yours, putting it on.

You both head outside to the porch, each taking a seat on the swinging bench that hangs from the veranda. “Ah wait here-” He says, standing once more, he heads inside and comes back hiding something in his coat. “Whatcha got there, Mister?” You ask him as he sits back down, the bench shifts slightly from his weight.

He pulls out a plastic bag that contains multiple little things, he hands it to you. Taking notice of the slight blush at the end of his fingertips you slowly take the bag. “Merry Christmas… Sorry, didn’t get to wrap it.” A bashful tone in his voice.

“You.. got me something? Man, I feel a little bad, if I would’ve known I would’ve done the same..” You say, hesitating to open it. “Don’t fret over it… Are you gonna open it or just stare at it?”

“Ah right- Sorry” You carefully reach into the bag and pull out one of the small items. It’s…

“Socks! You got me socks?!” A smile appears on your face, beaming in the night. Despite the mask, his eyes crinkled with a smile. “There’s more if you look.”

You open the bag more and find more small items, a small tube of vanilla scented lotion, a notepad, and some cinnamon wax melts. You’re happy, but oh so confused by the difference of each item.

“This is… Thank you. I really love it, but what’s with the theme?” You ask with a laugh.

“Well…” He pauses to think for a minute. “It’s all things you wanted.” “Huh..?”

“A couple days ago you said you couldn’t find your winter socks, then you said you forgot your hand cream back at home, then you said while eating dinner two nights ago that you love the smell of cinnamon during Christmas because it reminds you of good memories from your childhood.” You’re taken aback, you don’t remember saying any of these things until he brings it up, such small things and yet he remembers.

“You… you actually remember?” A faint blush appears on your face as you scan over your new gifts, suddenly feeling warm despite the subzero temperatures. “Uhm.. Thank you.. Really. Was this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, actually.” His expression becomes somber as he closes his eyes and takes a breath, he turns his body slightly and rests his arm on the back of the bench. “Look, I don’t know how else to bring this up.”

“What’s wrong?”

Ghost grips the back of the bench before meeting your eyes.

"Listen, I've been thinkin' a lot lately, and I reckon I need to be straight with you. You mean a proper lot to me, more than I can put into words. I'm mad about you, every single goddamn I hear your voice or that stupid laugh.. It’s like something shifts in me. I care about you, more than I have about anyone in a long time, but…”

Your heart beating out of your chest, uncertain on how to respond. All you can let out is a

“But..?”

He looks down, almost like he’s ashamed before responding.

“I’m.. scared, terrified. Of hurting you.. Or you getting into an accident during a mission. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.” His tone is serious, but you can hear a sense of fear.

You look at him with genuine eyes, you almost can’t believe what’s happening in front of you, the Ghost confessing his feelings for you. “But…” He continues. “If you’ll have me, I’m willing to take that leap into uncertainty with you. If… you want.”

You look at him as if you’re a deer caught in headlights. You begin to lose your breath, blinking, unable to process what was said to you. You take a moment before replying…

“I- I….” You struggle to find the words, you want to scream, but you also want to take it slow and really talk about it. You can see him become antsy, your silence bringing tension to the cold air around you. “Ghost I..”

“It’s fine.” He interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s fine, I know it’s sudden. I’m sorry.” He says, there's a slight hurt in his voice, he goes to stand. Just then you grab his arm, stopping him.

“I want.” “...What..?” “You said if I want…. Well.. I want, I don’t know how else to say it. I do want to be with you. I want to jump into that uncertainty with you. Please.” There’s a tinge of desperation in your voice, you feel as if you say nothing now, you will never have this opportunity again.

Ghost looks as if a wave of relief has washed over him.

“I thought you were gonna make me think I said all that for nothin’.” His eyes crinkle slightly as he adjusts himself once more.

“I’m sorry, I got nervous, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.” You begin to fidget with your hands in your lap, a faint blush appearing on your faces as you turn away.

You feel him inching closer to you, the heat from his body radiating, bringing warmth for both of you to share.

He softly grabs your face with his right hand, turning you towards him. You take glances at his mask and eyes, unable to lock on a single thing. He pulls up his mask just above his nose and leans in, pressing his lips against yours. Only a few seconds before you lean into him, grabbing onto the sleeve of his coat. He places a hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. You pull away for just a second to catch your breath. The both of you share a look, complete silence, then..

He chuckles, “Well then..” You place a hand on your mouth as you stare at him, stifling a small laugh. “That was something.” You manage to say through your giggles. You place your hand on his, a loving smile forms on your lips. He begins to caress the back of your hand, his touch gentle, yet warm. “Thank you…. Merry Christmas, Doll.” He looks up at you with gentle eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Simon.”

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rynnthefangirl · 20 days

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You've given me a sermon and I still think the same thing, you have no idea how a succession to the throne works, and again the responsibility for all the evils falls on Aegon and Viserys, and I will never see them as ornaments or call them usurpers, as you have done, for asking for their own.

It's not a question of me caring who Rhaenyra sleeps with or if she's married or not, but this is not the 21st century in its CONTEXT those children have no right to a throne, and it seems a little naive to me that you believe that Corlys, putting up with the horns the size of a castle that his son wore, would not assume/demand that Jace reign with the surname Velaryon.

The intentions of sending your brothers away when Joffrey and Rhaena are perfectly safe in the Vale I will always question, sorry, at best it's just stupidity, which is more than enough reason for me to believe that he would make a terrible king, even if he didn't have to be one in the first place.

Your image of Aegon and Viserys as two dead plants does not coincide with mine 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I still think the same. The responsibility of not starting a war of succession does not fall on them, but on their half-brothers, who are not required to maintain stability and think of others. Besides Aegon and Viserys being right with their claim would be guaranteeing a well-being that Jace could not, they were also intelligent and capable, they would not have such stupid ideas as giving dragons to strangers.

For your information, Aegon and Viserys are my favorite characters, ahead of their parents, and part of the reason why I support Daemyra is because of the birth of these boys who are the best thing that happened to the dynasty after years of shit. Again, the colloquium about monarchies and how bad they are was not necessary, contextualize! We are talking about a hypothetical scenario that takes place in a medieval fantasy, not our current reality, where I am not interested in what you think and you should not be interested in what I think.

Also you assume that a tremendous war would break out, and you give Aegon and Viserys the position of Aegon II in the dance.... are you serious? Particular way of liking their characters, Aegon II opposed a legitimate heir, Aegon and Viserys would oppose an illegitimate son of their mother who would not have to be in the line of succession, besides it is possible that they did not want to advocate for a war from the beginning and that they will try a peaceful approach, if Jace does not decide to step aside (knowing that he has no right to be in the line of succession, these are the rules of the game and they know it, Rhaenyra too, that's why they want to hide the sun with a finger and they do not advocate for the rights of bastards to inherit or be legitimized with their mother's surname, but they remain silent for two reasons, out of shame, because they are still people of their time, and because no one would accept a public admission that they are going to be ruled by a bastard, in addition to the fact that it would be treason) it is his responsibility, it is not comparable to the case of Rhaenyra and Aegon II, and yes dear, welcome to Westeros, it is a sexist society since you have told me something about passing the Targaryen through the maternal line counts less and blah blah blah, well yes, unfortunately that is how it is, the plot of Dorne, as you can understand...has so little to do with the rest of Westeros that I'm going to pretend I haven't read it. If a dance had not happened I see that for you Aegon and Viserys would be a random fourth and fifth son, and not the legitimate heirs to the iron throne, I suppose that those fourth and fifth sons also deal with the humiliation of an illegitimate son of your mother being ahead of you at the time of inheriting the crown.

I see them as resilient men, with determination, who think about the people but also about the good of their house, they literally tried to bring back the dragons because they knew how important they were for the Targaryen house despite their bad experiences with them, they were fair, they had a good heart but they knew how to be tough when required. To me, zero proactive characters don't seem interesting and in your eyes it's what they are, I almost have to be thankful that the dance happened, otherwise my favorite characters would have been lost in the annals of history as a random fourth and fifth son while Jace "Velaryon" keeps what belongs to them.

It is useless to make you understand the point, we simply have very different views of the matter, I blame those who keep what does not belong to them, you blame those who ask for theirs, and you like them for very different reasons than I do. We have reached the same old speech of calling me a racist in a hidden way for liking the distinctive features of the Targaryens (I do not deny it) the silver hair and the purple eyes because they give them a supernatural look that I love, but that wasn't the point, at this moment I already know that it is talking to a wall 🤷🏼‍♀️

And yes, legitimacy matters, thank you Daemon for marrying Rhaenyra and thus ensuring that your children had a safe existence in a medieval society where being a bastard is highly punished and stigmatized, with that alone you did more than the parents of the "Velaryon princes" for their success in life and so that they did not depend on the charity and silence of others, and yes, well, if it makes me a toxic Daemyra stan to prefer that they be together from the beginning, that Rhaenyra have legitimate children from the beginning that she doesn't have to lie about and that she is in a marriage that she wanted and in which she would be happy, I'm sorry (I say this for the other anon you received who can't stand the 4 fans of Aegon and Viserys who defend their place, but well, it's just that we can't stand that a brown-haired child is ahead of a silver-haired one, reductionism at its finest)

Goodbye, I have seen that we have irreconcilable positions.

You've given me a sermon and I still think the same thing

And you have replied with an even longer sermon, and I still think then same thing.

Your image of Aegon and Viserys as two dead plants does not coincide with mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

So not having ambition for the throne that they would risk starting a civil war for = dead plants?

Also you assume that a tremendous war would break out, and you give Aegon and Viserys the position of Aegon II in the dance.... are you serious?

Yeah, because every time anyone has usurped the throne, it has caused war. So in an imaginary scenario where Aegon were to crown himself after Rhaenyra's death, that at the very least risks warfare breaking out. If not between him and Jace, then their children...

And yes, the person who crowns themself against the will of the previous monarch would be doing what the Greens did. I'm not comparing them to Aegon II though because Aegon and Viserys never did such a thing.

Besides it is possible that they did not want to advocate for a war from the beginning and that they will try a peaceful approach.

I would have zero issue whatsoever if they tried a peaceful approach. The hypothetical I am disagreeing against is a violent grab for power, which I would not support no matter how "rightful" they are.

Yes dear, welcome to Westeros, it is a sexist society since you have told me something about passing the Targaryen through the maternal line counts less and blah blah blah, well yes, unfortunately that is how it is

A- you don't have to be condescending. Don't call me "dear". And honestly, it is amazing to me that you are TB. Because everything you think it just re-packaged Team Green rhetoric. Including the idea that sexism isn't something we should support changing in Westerso because that's just "how it is".

The plot of Dorne, as you can understand...has so little to do with the rest of Westeros that I'm going to pretend I haven't read it.

You mean pointing out that there is already an example of how names will pass down the female line that the Iron Throne knows of and could emulate?

And not the legitimate heirs to the iron throne, I suppose that those fourth and fifth sons also deal with the humiliation of an illegitimate son of your mother being ahead of you at the time of inheriting the crown.

See the thing is, for people that love their family more than they love the concept of blood purity and legitimacy, then it isn't actually a humiliation for your older brother to ascend the throne.

To me, zero proactive characters don't seem interesting and in your eyes it's what they are.

There are other ways to be proactive other than just caring about the throne. The throne is not everything in life, it is not the all important thing that you are an empty meaningless character if you don't pursue it at all costs.

We have reached the same old speech of calling me a racist in a hidden way for liking the distinctive features of the Targaryens (I do not deny it)

It's calling you racist to point out that blood purity appears to be an important factor for you? Is it not an important factor? Did I misunderstand?

Goodbye, I have seen that we have irreconcilable positions.

Yes, goodbye and good riddance! Though I do highly recommend you check out Team Green! They have such wonderful ideas as:

-Aegon II is justified in usurping the throne because it is his birthright and the chosen heir of the previous ruler means nothing

-Male primogeniture and sexism is just how things are in Westeros, so that means 21st century viewers don't need to be at all against it

-Having bastards is the worst thing ever and bastards are inferior and we should 100% use that against them

I think you might find some stuff you like there!

#team black #aegon iii targaryen #viserys ii targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #lucerys velaryon #joffrey velaryon

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somerandomdudelmao · 2 years

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I am so sorry for asking this a second time if you've already seen it, but I think Tumblr went and gobbled up the original and I didn't get it back :p Hope this isn't a bother, but...

You mentioned at one point that you work as a storyboard artist, and I got all curious about that since it's basically my dream job! I wanted to ask, what's it like being a storyboard artist? Do you have coworkers, or work within a building with a couple other people, or is it a work-at-home kind of job? Are the deadlines hard to reach or are the manageable? Do you need certain equipment for this job or can you use any drawing/art program as long as its functional?

I have a few more questions but they're a bit more "Personal," (monetary junk that you probably don't wanna answer) so I'll save them for the actual job interview. Decided to re-ask this now since you're shadow-banned (Never knew what that meant until like 6 hours ago) and asks are easier to receive. Hope the ban gets lifted soon btw because I am IN LOVE with your comics! They never fail to make me smile.

Okay thanks for reading and answering if you do and sorry for bothering you with the same question twice I must ascend to the heavens now kk baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-

I'm..hahah...so..hahahahhasnfkgn

Let me put on my clown costume real quick

So~ About my storyboarding experience~

I can tell you about it, but if you speak fluent English, your experience is likely to be VERY different from mine.

Because in my country the animation industry is practically dead.

So...haha yeah...my situation is a little unconventional I guess.

Basically, I have nothing.

No office, no co-workers, no requirements for the programs I use.

I kind of...work sitting on my bed with a tablet on my lap because I don't even have a fucking table lmao. Deadlines were really hard to meet when I first started, but after a year on the job I've learned to draw five times faster and it's no longer an issue.

My goal now is to learn English well enough to find a job in any country that isn't mine. And I have absolutely no idea what it looks like to work at a studio that pays you in dollars, not leaves :т

#I'll buy myself a table #When summer comes #Because I live in the woods #and it would be hard for me to bring a table home through all the snow and ice #God #it looks like I made it up.

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theorahsart · 30 days

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Would you happen to be able to compile a list of all the evidence/mentioned traits you know of that point towards Robespierre having autism, possibly with some sources of said evidence? You have my deepest gratitude if you do happen to be so kind as to take the time to answer this ask.

Hello! I'm sorry for taking a while to answer this- it of course was the kind of ask that requires some time to write! I'm gonna break it up into two posts, I hope that's okay. I'll just @ you when I do the next part.

I feel like I should start with saying that I'm not an expert in history (feel like I have loads to learn tbh). But I am an expert in autism, as I'm autistic, and know the topic thoroughly from cultural/social/medical perspectives- several of my educational comics are used in training programs by doctors and diagnoticians. So, you can trust everything I say about autism in this post.

You probably can't trust everything I say about Robespierre though lol. Compared to some actual historians I've talked to here, I haven't developed the skills of being able to discern when the info I get in books can be fully trusted, and the more I study Frev the more evident it is that just because I've read smth in a book, doesn't mean it can be trusted as fact haha. I've read 3 different posts from different historians in the last year that've debunked several 'facts' presented to me in published books loool

But anyway! I still personally think Robespierre was autistic, and I'll lay out why in the 2nd post.

I think it would take me more free time than I have to list *all* the evidence I've come across, so it seems best to break down how you diagnose autism in modern day, and then put that in context to some examples.

So this first part is just explaining *one way* in which medical professionals break down autism and the traits. Then in the next post I'll explain how I've applied those to Robespierre specifically.

How we think about and diagnose autism from modern day pov

I wanna start by breaking down how diagnoticians think about Autism specifically.

Autism doesn't encompass a specific set of traits that every single person must have in order to be diagnosed, because autistic traits vary so much from person to person.

Instead, you break down a diagnosis into different areas of life in which someone might be struggling. How this is broken down can vary a little between tests, but it's generally split into these areas:

Social

Social reciprocity (how sociable you are with others)

Non verbal comminication

Verbal communication

Maintaining relationships

Restrictive and Repetitive behaviour

Repetitive speech or movements (basically stimming)

Routines and change

Highly fixed/intense interests

Hyper or hypo reaction to sensory input

And then basically, if enough of these areas are having a significant impact on your life, you're dx'd as Autistic.

You can see when broken down in this way, that:

You can be doing fine in some of these areas, but still be dx'd if there's a lot of other areas listed you're struggling in.

A NT person will likely have some sort of trouble in one or two of the listed areas (because we all have strengths and weaknesses). That doesn't mean they're autistic.

An autism dx is concluded from two things- if you struggle in more of these areas than less. And if those struggles are significantly impacting your life.

Just to note, I'm only talking from a diagnosis pov here, which is wrapped up in cultural contexts and the reasons we decided to give this way of being a label. Theres lots of traits we can also break down that aren't based around what you find difficult.

You could be autistic and go your whole life not knowing or needing a diagnosis, if say, you lived a lifestyle where you could avoid people and situations that are making you suffer. Your autism might make you excel in life, depending on your life.

But just esp in modern day, many of us dont have that luxury.

I'm using this type of dx in the context of Robespierre because I believe he did have difficulties that impacted his life and career, and it's significant to me to compare his behaviour and health to other politicians working in the same stressful circumstances.

But yeah I'll write this in a second post. Thanks for your patience!! 🙏

#frev #french revolution #robespierre #maximilien robespierre #autism #autistic #neurodiversity #actually autistic

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cinnbar-bun · 5 months

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Important Message

So... haha... been almost a month since I really did anything on this blog...

Listen, I'm gonna keep it straight to you guys, the months leading up to my hiatus were, to put it mildly, some of the most disgusting I've seen in my years as a fanfic writer and fandom enjoyer. This is a bit of a vent post, because, well, genuinely, I really hope the fandom can get better. I'm assuming most of the bad experiences I've had came through people a bit younger/newer to fandom or tumblr/fanfic culture in general. If you want just an update on the blog, I will be posting that shortly after this one.

I'm going to list out some of the shit I had to go through (that I am sure many fanfic writers, but more specifically, POC fandom creators go through). This is a long post. Yeah, also, this is obvious but TW FOR: Racism (including slurs), Islamaphobia, sexism, death threats, suicide threats, harassment, and just flat out horrible behavior.

I'm gonna go list some of the slurs I've been messaged or called, I'll even rate them for you guys <3:

Camel jockey: oooo, haven't heard that one before. get more creative, 3/10

camel fucker: nice, bit more crass, still not original. 3.5/10, just a bit funny

Terrorist: wow, dude, oh my gosh, I can't believe I've never heard that one living in post 9/11 America! Wow! 0/10 try harder

I also don't know where the assumption came from that I was a hijabi... I am not. Calling me a BMO? Pretty unique but sadly does not fit me. :(/10

This barely scratches the surface of what I have dealt with after having been open about my heritage. I'm sorry my very existence offends you and requires you to come out and send me shit about hoping my family dies or that my favorite character brutally hurts me. I have read your messages, and after long consideration, I have decided to no longer be Middle Eastern. Yep, that's right, guys, I am no longer MENA! Don't worry about my family history or anything, I just choose not to be that anymore. There, now you don't have to send me messages about hoping my family gets killed <3

Let's see what else we should tackle.

Should I tackle the fact that I've gotten messages from others to update a fic or answer a request or they will try to self harm or commit suicide?

Should I tackle the fact that some have tried to pressure or guess my sexuality (dude, what the fuck)?

Should I tackle how I got messages from others assuming my place because of my religion?

Should I tackle how I've gotten weird ass messages from people getting mad at me because how DARE I not write certain things during Ramadan?

Should I tackle those things?

I'll save you the hassle, no, I really shouldn't have had to, but fact is, the One Piece fandom has to be some of the worst I've seen and interacted with purposefully in a long time. And I was in the Hetalia fandom way back when. I should not have dumb shit about "liberating" me or oh, oh, oh, I love this one! People asking me if I have 'full armament haki' (I hope you genuinely, genuinely, get the fuck off your phone and go outside. Maybe have a walk and go talk to actual people.)

I've met some genuinely lovely, beautiful, and kind people. They truly are some of the most talented creators I've seen, and I'm grateful they chose to befriend me. The good does outweigh the bad. But the bad? Oh lord, I think you guys are genuinely some of the most disgusting pieces of shits I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Fanfic writers are not your slaves. I have a full time job, I have a full time life outside of my tumblr and my writing. I write when I want to because I like to write, and fanfic is a good creative outlet. You sending dumb messages crying about no updates after four days of me posting a new chapter, or threatening to harm yourself because of this is disgusting.

POC creators, especially, are not your fucking tokens. I'm not here to break down every racial stereotype for you. I'm not here to be sitting there mocked with crap I already hear in my outside life. And I sure as HELL am not here for fake support only to be called slurs and mocked the minute I don't do something for you. You are gross, you are not funny, you are genuinely a horrible person and if your ideal vision of humor boils down to the Instagram comments section, all I'm saying is, I'm not wishing you anything positive.

If you read this far, thank you. Truly. This was difficult to place and write down, but it needed to be said, because even to this day I still get messages similar to before.

Do better, One Piece fandom. Do better. Because you are only going to lose the fans who really care and who put effort into making things. How far can you harass fanfic creators, and especially POC ones, with your bullshit before you lose out on things?

I don't need to 'move on'. My identity and my existence is on a completely separate wave than so and so idk, liking a ship or a character. One is fake, and one is literally who I am. Putting false equivalencies to the issues within fandom because it makes you 'sad' is shitty.

I've only given you an idea of what I had to deal with. Now imagine this constantly by random people, both on tumblr and AO3, and then imagine that also in your daily life, on the media, in the news, in the music, on the radio, in the books- fucking everywhere. It's exhausting.

Just... fucking do better. Actually fucking listen to POC. I got nothing else to add that wouldn't just be me repeating the same shit I and others have tried to say.

Just be kind, for gods sake, and remember that creators are human, not the silly avatars we choose.

#rambles #important notice #tw racsim #tw sexism #tw slur #tw islamophobia

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5

Summary : The cuddle streak is broken by the end of your 30th birthday.

Warning: mention of drinking, sweet loki is sweet, short chapter (3k words)

In the morning you again woke up before him. Thank the gods. This has been going on for a week now, you had decided to put a stop to it like three nights ago but that obviously didn't work. You sneaked out of his embrace slowly and tiptoed towards the bathroom as if you were doing the walk of shame. Why did you always feel like such a sinner in the morning?

"It's just cuddles..be a mature adult about this" you mumbled to yourself. Well mature adults don't cuddle their mature friends. Also you shouldn't be cuddling men who existed even before the 19th century.

It was your birthday tomorrow, the day you have been dreading since your last birthday, the awful 30th, you were officially going to step out of your 20s with nothing to boot about. Nothing you ever did in life had made you proud of yourself.

For once you managed to leave the apartment without bumping into him, though why did he have to look so good when he was in deep sleep?

"So your place tomorrow? We are excited" Lyla squealed and you gave her a smile. Her and a bunch of other colleagues at the gym invited themselves to your birthday party that you didn't want to have in the first place.

"Yeah okay I'll see you tomorrow" as if you had any other options.

As you went home, he was folding your laundry, he was such a good roommate that you'd often forget that he wasn't your roommate. However as soon as he grabbed your grandma panties you snatched it out of his hand with the speed of the lightening.

"It's just a piece of fabric" he let out a hearty laugh so you glared at him.

"It's …intimate" So are the spooning sessions at night but he didn't see you complaining about them. None of you mentioned anything about them cuddles in the light of the day and it was starting to rub him in a certain way. A part of him was relieved because he wasn't sure if he was up for that conversation just yet, he didn't even know how you perceived him, was he just a friend? Only a friend?

"So big day tomorrow, are we having a celebration?" you sighed as he said that. You felt anxious telling him that he'd have to stay invisible tomorrow when your co-workers would come, it was one thing to introduce him to the family but you didn't want to put him at more risk. What if you get drunk and mess up or he does the whole magicky thing out of nowhere. You didn't want him to get caught, what would they do to him if he was to get caught? Would they hurt him? The thought made you want to cuddle him again.

"Uhhh actually my coworkers will be coming. I guess people really do like free drinks huh?" He chuckled as you said that

"So I'm assuming you won't be requiring my presence here?"

God he made everything easy, he just always knew what to say

"Loki, I want you here, you're my friend. It's just I don't want to put your life at risk, there would be several people, pictures will be taken and shared on Facebook or something, I'm sure Tony Stark must have the high technology where they can trace you with your face print or something right?" He continued to smile as you blabbed incoherently.

"I suppose so"

"I'm sorry" your eyes teared up so he walked towards you. He was wearing that cute blue shirt you had gotten for him. The color really popped his eyes, it also contrasted with his light pale skin so well.

"You don't have to apologize my darling, we will celebrate afterwards if you'd be open to that"

"Of Course.. ofcourse"

"This is your home, I don't ever want you to feel burdened by my presence "

"You never burden me Loki, I love living with you" his brows wiggled as you said that "I meant I like it..just a healthy amount" you chuckled as you walked away to put the stack of clothes in the closet. You wanted to die at the moment, actually dying while still in your 20s didn't sound so bad "It's not like I'm obsessed with you or anything " you mumbled but he only gave you his signature smile in response.

"How are you feeling?" He asked you, making you sigh deeply

"Well I'm bummed for sure. I mean I'll never get to be in my twenties again you know? The ship has sailed, the boats have..uhh boated. I don't know." The boat has bailed would have rhymed better but nope "Did you feel this way when you turned uhhh I don't know.. seven hundred" Your voice got lower and then higher by the end of the sentence, sometimes it was hard to grasp that he indeed was more than a thousand years old.

"Well in Asgard the numbers barely hold any value. It is the intelligence that's of significance when determining whether or not a man has matured completely, we grow up in phases, numbers are just that..numbers"

"Huhh. So are you a fully matured grown up?" You asked him and he chuckled

"Merely a few years back I thought that the mass extinction of my own kind would finally gain me the approval of Odin so I believe the answer would be no"

He smiled but you could tell that part of his life really affected him. Of Course it did, you couldn't imagine this soft sweet baby hurting someone, let alone hurting his own kind so cruelly, but then you also didn't know what he was going through, maybe he snapped and had enough, you always felt you'd snap someday too and become a villain that's hungry for revenge. But then you always allowed the karma to do its thing, and also because you were too lazy to become an actual villain. It was too much thinking. You walked towards him and hugged him to comfort him

"Well I'm sure you have outgrown that phase of yours now because the man that i know here.. my sweet friend–" Again with the friend he thought "He's pretty amazing" Well pretty and amazing you thought.

"So are you princess" your face got warm at the pet name so you took a step away from him.

Did he just call you a princess? You would barely qualify as a peasant on Asgard.

"I'll go shower and we can eat"

You did the routine- Shower, eat, brush teeth, sleep in separate beds and then one of the two would crawl in the other's bed depending on the mood.

It was his turn today, as the clock hit 12 he crawled into your bed and snuggled into you. Before you could say anything he greeted you,

"Happy Birthday Princess" a birthday wish has never sounded so sweet

"Thank you Loki" you smiled as you hooked your arm around him "This is not as bad as I thought it would be, you being here is helping though" he chuckled as you said that "I'm not joking, i really would have been a crying mess right now if you weren't here"

"Even if I wasn't here at this moment, I think I would have find you sooner or later"

"No you wouldn't have, it was pure luck"

"I do not think something so frivolous such as luck brought me to you, that tesseract has a mind of its own, the cube wanted me here"

"Isn't it called mind stone? "

"No it's the space one..what I'm trying to convey is that perhaps our paths were destined to collide"

"You're very cute" he smiled as you said that he has never been called cute before, that word was only used for small little creatures on Asgard and not gods like him "Can I ask you a question?" You mumbled so he hummed in response.

"Are you always this cold because you're a frost god?" A frost god? He was just a giant monster.

"Yes. I can manipulate my temperature though, would you like me to go warm?"

"Would it be uncomfortable for you?"

"Just a little, nothing I can not bear"

"Mmmm then i don't want it Loki, besides i am enjoying this, perfect for summers " you chuckled as you finished your sentence, you didn't want to get so completely obvious with your crush on him. You had no idea how much your sweet words and your care for him has affected him though, someone cared about his comfort and that wasn't something he was used to having.

Next day once you got all dolled up for the party he couldn't stop staring at you, the dress you had on made you look different, he thoroughly enjoyed you being in your pajamas but this wasn't too bad either.

He wanted to give you a little something before your friends would arrive so he sat down with you on the sofa.

"I was so rattled all night because I couldn't choose what I wanted to give you as a present –"

"Loki you don't have to do that" you placed your hand on his so he looked down and it immediately made you pull back.

"I know I don't necessarily have to, I just really wanted to" you smiled as he said that "There were plenty of things I could have given you that probably would have been more suitable for a lady like you, however–" his eyes teared up and so did yours, the softness in his voice remained undefeated, you didn't even need a gift anymore, this was enough. He waved his fingers and there was a small gift box in his hand, wrapped in a pretty paper and bunch of golden flowers, he passed it to you so you started to unwrap it

"I believed you'd rather want something sentimental and personal, something that would make you think of me" When he's not there he thought. As you opened the box, you found a knife in there, it was a knife polished in pure gold, the handle made from the finest oak, it had your name on it and there was a small birthday wish engraved on the blade,

"If you ever find yourself trapped by the twisted paths of uncertainties, remember that you can always cut through and make a new one, Loki"

"Loki–" you could hardly whisper his name and then it suddenly hit you, it wasn't any ordinary knife, it was the knife you had thrown at him on the first day, you recognised the blade, he had just molded it to make it look extraordinary "Ohhh god–" you looked at him, your eyes filled with several little emotions and then you hugged him as tightly as you could,

"Loki..This--" your breath hitched in your chest, making it almost impossible to talk to him "This is the most thoughtful gift i have ever received..thank you" he grabbed your hand and placed a small kiss, the look on your face made him feel content.

"Thank you lo ..thank you so much" you hugged him for a good minute before you pulled away, at night it didn't matter because the sleep always got you but rest of the times holding him for such a long time only made your thoughts spiral.

Unfortunately you didn't have much time because your colleagues would be here soon.

"Sooo ..just curious, what were the other things you could have gifted me" you questioned him and it made him chuckle.

"Jewels Perhaps"

"Yeahh I'm not into jewels sooo" you smiled and it made him smile too. He knew you'd appreciate something that held a sentimental value "Ummm okay I was wondering if people can still touch you if you're invisible?"

"Yes, I am indeed tangible but do not worry I'll just hide in my vault "

"What?"

"Its spacious "

"Nooo noo no Loki, I can't..i would like it if you're here..with me" you smiled and he returned it.

"Alright "

He disappeared as soon as he heard the door buzzing, it felt weird to not see him and you really really wanted to see him. But knowing that he was there made you feel slightly better. As you opened the door, Lyla hugged you and Loki glared at her, this woman kept calling you chubby, he didn't like her already. There were two other ladies and three men, he kept his eyes on this particular guy, his name that he learned was Chase, he couldn't stop flirting with you even though you didn't seem interested or maybe that was his wishful thinking.

You went into the kitchen as you made them all sit down in the living room which was basically just a few feet away. Loki has graciously offered you a bunch of chairs and a table for the party. He was like a genie, he was exactly like a Genie.

One of the guys turned the tv on , giving you the headache already.

"Guys look ..look.. queen of Asgard is on tv" you ran into the living room as he said that. Queen of Asgard as in Frigga? What was she doing here?

"Loki, my son, wherever you are please return to me, I can not lose you again, enough of the jesting, your father has given me his word that there will be no consequences, please return, your family awaits your presence"

Loki had told you about her, from what he had shared you knew she was that one person he really loved and cared for. What did she mean by losing him again? Loki never shared what had really happened after his fight with Thor all those years back in Asgard.

"Come on it's a party..shut it off" Lyla whined as she sipped on her drink. You looked around in worry as you couldn't spot Loki but you knew he was watching.

"Man i wonder where that murderer bastard is" Steven, one of the guys said

"Mind your language you hear me?" You defended loki immediately,

"He's right though..a criminal like him rolling around freely isn't good for us" Stacy said and you rolled your eyes. What did they even know about him? You did, and he wasn't as evil as he should have been after everything he has been through, you knew he didn't attack NYC on his own, he was compelled and forced to do it.

You looked behind and you could see the bathroom door opening and closing so you went in there and locked the door.

"Loki are you–" before you could finish your word he had you pressed against the door with his palm right over your mouth, you looked right up into his eyes as he appeared, he was in his Asgardian clothing, a long black tunic with matching trouser, the color looked the best on him, it complimented his raven hair.

"They can hear you" he whispered quietly so you nodded, as he took a step back you breathed in deeply, the proximity always messed up your brain. All you could think about was kissing him and then him picking you up to place you down on the sink while you two would make out

"Your mother–"

"It's just so typical of Thor to involve our mother in between our quarrels" he mumbled in frustration.

"Well it's more than just a quarrel" you chuckled so he gave you a smile "She said that..there will be no consequences –"

"She's lying ofcourse "

"But she won't lie to you would she?" He chuckled again but his eyes had gotten teary this time, you squeezed your eyes shut as you remembered that she had lied to him about his heritage all his life.

"Are you okay?" You whispered so he nodded.

"Go enjoy the celebration darling, I'm absolutely alright I promise " you nodded as he said that. Maybe he just wanted to be alone.

You went back to the living room but you couldn't stop thinking about him, he seemed troubled and you wanted to hug him as tightly as you could.

Once everyone left and you couldn't have been more grateful that they did, you called out for him, he clicked his fingers and there he was, on your bed, reading his book.

"Are you okay?" You asked him so he hummed

"Are you?"

"I'm fine..a bit drunk but fine"

You gulped so he nodded.

"So that's your mom huh"

"Adoptive mother, I never even met my birth mother " he answered as he flipped the page of the book.

"Ohhh .. ummm.. soo.. do you want to celebrate my birthday..ummm there's a cake, I think you'll like it" you walked towards the kitchen and he sighed. He put the book down and followed you, his mood had turned sour but he really didn't want to upset you. He also really wanted to kiss you right now.

"Ummm so Chase asked me out on a date" he crossed his arms as you told him. That boar wanted to romance you? He didn't deserve a woman like you. Nobody did. He didn't think midgardian men possessed the heart to value a lady such as you.

"So you'd court this man?"

"I uhhh–" what were you supposed to say? You just wanted to see his reaction, you weren't sure this is the reaction you wanted. You wanted him to get jealous

"What should I do?" You questioned him like a moron and he snickered. Did he just snicker? Was he upset?

"I'm no one to make that sort of decisions for you darling"

"Well..Perhaps one date won't kill me" you mumbled. You really were picking up his lingos.

"Yeah, perhaps " Did he just use the word yeah?

"Okay ummm here's the cake " you passed him the plate so he took it. He couldn't stop you from courting other people if you wanted to, he wasn't your significant other afterall, he was just a friend, probably not even that. He was just the burden.

That night he didn't approach you for cuddling because he figured you'd rather cuddle this new man, you didn't either because you thought he didn't want to do it anymore.

Did you just ruin the cuddling arrangement by opening your big mouth? You weren't even into this Chase guy. You'd tell Chase tomorrow that you weren't into him, you weren't going to do what other people had done to you. It was deceiving.

Well that was the plan you had made before sleeping but an argument happened and for some reason you ended up on this date anyways. And Loki was definitely bitter about it. Extremely bitter.

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

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#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #canon divergent au #post avengers loki

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transsongtaewon · 3 months

Text

[Read on Ao3]

Nausea crawls up the back of Yerim's throat. Her hands are sweaty, even though she just wiped them off on her shorts. This is horrible.

Maybe she shouldn't go through with this. But then again, putting it off also didn't exactly make her feel relaxed and carefree. She'll just have to rip the band-aid off. Except pulling off band-aids that sucks and she'd much rather not have a band-aid to get rid off in the first place.

Tragically, life did not work out that way. But she can do this. She is smart and strong and confident and lovable. The people in her life really love her, and this isn't going to change that. Hopefully. Probably. Maybe she should stop just thinking about it.

It will be fine. No other option.

She swallows, and it doesn't make her feel better at all.

She felt pretty good about this at school earlier, when her friends cheered her on, but now, she is standing in front of the door, the door behind which Yoojin is waiting, Yoojin who doesn't know yet. But he will soon because Yerim already waited way too long, and the longer she takes, the worse it will be.

All her self-imposed deadlines have long since passed. It's time to be brave.

She enters her home. Hopefully it will stay home once this is over.

Yoojin is sitting at the dinner table, looking through paperwork and absently throwing a ball for Peace. He looks up and smiles in greeting when he notices Yerim.

"Did you have fun at school today?"

"Uh..." Why must her hands sweat like this? "Sure. Um, ahjussi, there's something I'd like to talk to you about."

Yoojin clearly picks up on her nerves, fully focusing on her now. He quickly scans her from top to bottom, looking slightly relieved when he doesn't spot any injuries.

"Of course Yerim, any time. Did something happen?"

Yoojin pulls out a chair for her, Yerim decides to sit across from him. He doesn't look happy about it, but Yerim feels better with a bit of distance between them.

"Nothing happened. It's more of a general fact. That I may have neglected to mention. Possibly."

Somehow, this is not getting any easier. She had a script! What happened to the script?!

Yoojin slowly nods. "I'm sure whatever it is, we can take care of it."

"Well, I mean, I'm not sure it's that kind of thing? Not that there's not stuff to take care of, but, uh." She stares down at her hands in mounting horror. "Can I start over?"

"Take all the time you need." Yoojin reaches out to her but aborts the movement, clearly trying to respect the space she created between them. Yerim kind of wishes he didn't.

"So the thing is, I don't know exactly how much you know about, um, gender stuff and such, but I guess, in short, there are some people who are born one thing but feel another, or when they're born, everyone thinks they should be one, but actually, that was never true at all, or maybe they're more than one thing, or, uh, I guess it's a bit complicated, but, like, it's called trans and that's what I am. Trans. And a girl, if that wasn't clear."

She could have phrased that better, but at least, it's out now.

Yerim looks down again, her hair falling into her face. Her short hair. She really likes how it looks, sporty and light and still feminine, not that that's a requirement! Yerim knows it isn't! But maybe, Yoojin doesn't. Maybe he'll look at her short hair and think that if she was really a girl, she would have insisted on keeping it long, the way it was when they met. God, this is horrible.

She takes a peek at Yoojin. He does not look like anything earth-shattering just happened, not at all like Yerim feels.

"Oh."

Oh?

"Me too."

Me too???

"In the other direction of course, but still. I understand, Yerim." He reaches out again, this time not deterred by the table between them, and ruffles her hair. "I'm glad you felt safe telling me. Thank you."

"You're not mad I didn't tell you? Even when I moved in?"

"Ah, of course not." Now he looks a bit pensive. "Clearly I also forgot to mention that about myself. Sorry."

"It's fine. I think." Her heart is beating very fast. Her body does not seem to have received the notification that the crisis is over.

"So." Uh-oh. "Are you on any medication? Anything we can help you with?"

"Hm. So. I used to be on puberty blockers."

"Used to?"

Yerim definitely can't say, 'Yeah, I used to give this guy I met in the alleyway behind my uncle's restaurant cash and hoped he wouldn't randomly switch out the pills.' That would likely not go over very well.

"They're not available there anymore. So not right now?"

Yoojin looks at her. Yerim starts sweating again. Please don't ask for details. He is still looking.

"Okay. Do you want help to book a doctor's appointment? Maybe get on HRT? You don't have to, of course. I just thought I'd offer."

"I, yeah. Yeah, that'd be good."

Yerim stares at Yoojin, no doubt looking a mess. She may be about to cry. "Can I get a hug?"

"Oh, Yerim, of course!" Yoojin comes around the table, pulling her into his arms. "Do you want to go to the couch? Maybe that's more comfortable."

Yerim just nods, and together, they move into the living room. She buries her face in Yoojin's shoulder, hoping to protect her dignity at least a little when she really does start to cry. Yoojin pets her hair while Peace nudges her foot with his nose, possibly annoyed that Yerim stole his play time.

"Thank you for being okay with this, I was really scared."

"I can imagine, stuff like this is never easy. But I promise there is nothing you could do that would make me not like you anymore."

Yerim is really crying now. "Don't say sappy stuff like that, ahjussi. It's embarrassing!"

"But it's the truth! What sort of person would I be if something like this would make me look at you any different? I wouldn't be worth much as a caretaker."

Yerim sniffles. "My uncle certainly wasn't very thrilled when I told him."

"Your uncle is a scumbag not worth the air he breathes, and if you say the word, he will disappear under mysterious circumstances."

Peace growls in agreement.

Yerim giggles through her tears and (very lightly!) punches Yoojin's shoulder. "Don't say that, you're supposed to model good morals for me."

"I think that's really secondary to providing you with a good environment."

"I'll tell Officer Song you said that."

Yoojin shrugs. "If you must."

They sit in silence for a bit. "May I ask you something, Yerim?"

"Sure."

"You don't have to answer, of course, but your parents...?"

"Oh. I never told them." The tears are coming back. "I was really young when they died, and I didn't, like, know yet."

Yoojin nods. "I never told mine either. I mean, I'm sure it's very different for you, but I suppose it's just something that happens sometimes."

Yerim twists a lose thread of her school uniform around a finger. "Maybe it's for the best I never had to find out if they would have been okay with it. So I only get to have good memories of them, I guess."

Yoojin tightens their hug. "I'm sure if they were around, they would be so proud of their daughter. I have absolutely no doubt about that."

"Thanks, ahjussi." It comes out a bit muffled, what with the tears and snot and still having her face pressed against Yoojin's shoulder. "Can I get a tissue?"

"Oh no, I really should have thought of that! I don't have any here, but I'll get one from the kitchen really quick. And a glass of water. And maybe a snack? I think this calls for a snack." Yoojin disentangles them carefully. "Peace, watch over our Yerimie and make sure she’s okay, okay?"

Yerim can't help but giggle while Yoojin busies away collecting his post-coming-out care package.

Seems like it all went fine in the end.

Written for Sctir Pride Week Day 3: Celebration/Coming Out

#sctir #han yoojin #bak yerim #the s classes that i raised #s classes that i raised #tsctir #my s class hunters #my fic <3 #sctir pride week

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raccoonfallsharder · 2 months

Note

Hi there! This is probably such a silly question, so I'm sorry in advance, but in your fics, how long is a "cycle"?

I've gathered that a rotation is the equivalent of about a day (I think? lol) . Is a cycle the intergalactic equivalent of like a week or maybe a month in your fics? I originally thought a year, but in WAtG its stated that Jo "crosses paths with the Yondu Clan once every fifteen cycles or so." So a year seems like the wrong assumption on my part haha

Thank you ♡

hey honeycomb! these are SUCH FUN questions because i am such an UNHINGED NERD, especially about time and trying to make things make sense in space lol (also omg please never apologize for asking questions?? ever?? you’re a delight. curiosity is beautiful and giving other people a chance to explain their thoughts/loves/interests is a gift you give whenever you ask)

so first of all it’s worth noting that i’m pretty sure in at least one of the games, it’s the opposite — a cycle is like a day, i think? and a rotation is a week or a month? (i used to know this with more certainty because last year, i had researched obsessively to find out if there was a singular canonical way of measuring the passage of time in marvel-outer-space. fyi the short answer is no). worth noting: this is how i thought of time when i was writing ᯓ⋆｡°✩practice because that takes place in the eidos universe but i deliberately didn't dwell on it too long so people could interpret the length of time however they wanted.

now, my understanding is that in the mcu, this is inverted. i had read that the mcu GOTG writers think of a rotation as being about a day and a cycle being about a week, so that is what i use in almost all of my other fics (especially the longer ones). sometimes in oneshots i default to day and week just for ease of understanding, especially for readers who may just stumble upon the story without having gotten used to my quirks.

now that’s the short answer and you can feel free to bail if you don’t want to read about the stupid amount of time i put into thinking about this lol. i swear I won’t hold it against you. for fucks sake SAVE YOURSELF

tsk. should've run.

as mentioned, i use “rotation” to indicate about a day, and “cycle” to indicate about a week. i also use “multicalendar circumrotations” or “circs” for a year-ish which is halfway made-up (the gotg holiday special mentions the multicalendar and i was like “i need a word that isn’t rotation or cycle or revolution to go with this” lol).

i also broke rotations into three shifts. for my purposes there are usually two wake shifts and one sleep shift per rotation, but i imagine some lifeforms require different amounts of rest and wakefulness - so while the start and end of shifts are standardized, how they are designated really varies by crew.

i think this was about all i had figured out when i was writing Window *:･ﾟ✧* - I think I had maybe approximated a cycle at around 8-9 days and a circ at about a year and a half. but when i started writing cicatrix.⋆☁︎:･꧂ i was referencing longer lengths of time a lot more often (and needed at least a mental guide for things like decades and ccertain chunks of years), so i expanded on my time measurements a lot more thoroughly (see below).

i don’t have anything equivalent to months but at some point i was like “i need to indicate something more than a handful of cycles and less than a circ” and so i added quarter-circs to my lexicon ‘cause months didn’t make sense in the context of a sort of “intergalactic standard” of time measurement.

there was a time when i thought about breaking down hours and minutes and shit too but then i was honestly like “dae that’s fucking bonkers. stop girl” so i decided that most universal translators are capable of doing the basic math required to calculate smaller units of time across languages lol.

a rare glimpse of dae notes/references from the top of my cicatrix notes document:

rotation: 30 hours (10/10/10 shifts) cycle: 10 rotations (300 hours) (1.79 weeks) quarter: 10 cycles circumrotation: 40 cycles (71.6 weeks) (1.38 years) 10 years = 7.26 circumrotations 4.13 years = 3 circs

anyway that's it i think, that's everything, it's ridiculous and i'm ridiculous and also thanks for giving me the opportunity to be a total loser about this. i am very cool and normal

i truly do appreciate the question honestly. may your day be full of morning glories and your night be full of good movies and tasty popcorn

#rfh asks #hyperfixation what hyperfixation #reference #rfh fic

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hearts4youz · 11 months

Text

The Captains Daughter: Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the longer wait this time. I procrastinated this so much ughhhh. Anyway :) thank you all for waiting, I apologize because this is more of a filler chapter plus its short :( CH 11 will be better I promise!!!!

Word count: 800 ish

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame

This morning your alarm did not go off. Not by accident, you weren't late for anything, but because today was a rare rest day. Once in a blue moon, some of the higher ups on base call for a mandatory rest day, a welcome occurrence. You sighed and rolled over, the clock read 10:32 in the morning. You rubbed your eyes and clambered out of bed. In the bathroom, you brushed your teeth and put on a bit of makeup before changing into street clothes, no uniforms required on off days.

You exited your room and walked down the hallway, stopping by the mess hall, breakfast would be served until noon today.

On the way, you saw Ghost. Suprisingly, he was wearing casual attire, A black hoodie and grey sweatpants. The skull balaclava was still present, of course. He was on his way to the gym. You let your eyes linger for a few seconds before continuing on. They were serving waffles in the mess, still flavorless and rock solid, but it hits differently on a day off.

You decided to stop by your dad's office to bring him breakfast, knowing he would be in there working, even on his day off. When you stepped through the wooden door, you were met with the usual whirlwind of papers. Price was hunched over at his desk, a mess of documents surrounding him. He scribbled his signature on something before looking up at you. He smiled with tired eyes,

"Still hard at work on your day off?"

"War never sleeps," he yawns.

"I brought you breakfast," you say, setting the plate down on top of a folder.

"Thanks hun'" he said gratefully.

You lingered in the room for a moment before your dad spoke up.

"I'm suprised Ghost doesn't still have you training."

You chuckled, "Yeah, I saw him heading to the gym to work out by himself though."

"He told me you got... injured during your last session. He didn't specify what happened. Are you alright?" Your father said with a concerned expression.

Your face heated up as you remembered Ghost carrying you to the infirmary, "y-yeah, just passed out, dehydration probably." You said this fast, suddenly feeling awkward, even though your dad had no clue your Lieutenant had to bridal carry you to the medics.

"Take it easy alright kiddo."

"Uh-huh, yeah," you said, quickly exiting. You were blushing like mad with Ghost on your mind.

Fuck, you thought to yourself.

Remembering the brief moment the two of you spent together brought you a giddy feeling.

A feeling you remembered from your highschool days

You had a crush on Ghost.

The rest of the day was relaxed. You almost managed to forget about your earlier revelation.

Almost.

The thoughts still nagged at the back of your mind while you lounged around with the rest of the 141 minus Price and Ghost. You talked among yourselves while a show played in the background.

Soap noticed how spaced out you were.

"Ghost on the brain," he teased.

Your face reddened. "no..." you lied.

Gaz and Soap looked at eachother with knowing expressions.

"Y/N, we meant to tell you this earlier but..." Gaz started, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"Ghost is... married."

You let the news sink in for a moment. Secretly, you were heartbroken, but you couldn't let your teammates know that.

"Oh... yeah, whatever," you brushed it off, but your facial expression gave everything away.

The two of them burst into laughter.

"Hey! it's not that funny, I didn't even like him" You pleaded, trying to save face.

Soap spoke as he caught his breath, "LT isn't married. *panting* we just wanted to... *he pauses to catch his breath* mess with you."

At this point, Gaz sat back up, having fallen backwards off the couch in his fit of laughter.

You just sat there, looking pissed. "That wasn't funny," you scolded.

"Oh so you did care?" Soap smirked,

"No... well I- no, but..." You gave up trying to explain yourself.

"At a loss for words hm?"

"Fine. Fine, I like him... I like Ghost," you finally admitted

The two men had shit eating grins on their faces.

You spent the rest of your day with Soap and Gaz, laughing about nonsense, gossiping, and just talking about anything and everything.

Today was a good day, You thought to yourself as you got under the covers.

But it's back to nose to the grindstone tomorrow.

76 notes · View notes

tala-bez-i · 5 months

Text

At first sight Chapter One

(m!reader x Bonten!Haruchiyo Sanzu)

Fluff/slash/reader is male/cursing/BontenTimeline/drugs and alcohol mentioned/violence/blood/death

Haruchiyo Sanzu and the Haitani brothers belong to Ken Wakui.

I decided to delete the previous post and divide it into parts with more content between them. Sorry for the inconvenience.

The content has not been changed completely, but slightly or not at all (parts with content from the first post). There's not much of the previous version in this one (let's call it Chapter One), but I promise there will be more in later parts.

English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. I'm open to criticism, so if you want, please leave a comment. Please do not copy the content, but reblogs are welcome. Have fun reading.

Words: 4685

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You had known Haruchiyo Sanzu for years and had never found him to be an off-putting person. His character and addictions never bothered you. On the contrary, you found him an interesting person and saw some kind of goodness in him. You always tried to be close to him, and when situations required it, you stood up for him and fought alongside him against opponents from rival gangs. You even followed him when he became part of Bonten and became his close associate right alongside the Haitani brothers.

You always made it a point to accompany Sanzu to nightclubs and submissively watched him have fun and hit on girls. You did not stand by completely idly and also indulged in carnal pleasures. However, it didn't matter much to you because your heart belonged to only one person - Haruchiyo Sanzu. When he was happy, you were too. When he was mad, you felt angry, and you wanted to calm his frayed nerves as quickly as possible. Over time, you became friends and Sanzu knew he could count on you, and you knew he wouldn't abandon you.

One late evening you were in his apartment, sipping a drink and watching Haru getting ready to go out. You and Sanzu, along with the Haitani brothers, had a job to do that night. You looked at his reflection in the mirror and watched as his long, slim fingers deftly buttoned his freshly ironed shirt.

Haru buttoned his cuffs and reached for a bottle of some pills. He poured a few pieces into his hand, put them in his mouth and washed them down with alcohol. It wasn't the first dose. You shook your head slightly, making a mental note to keep an eye on him more than usual that night.

"What is it about?" Haru looked at you as he fastened his expensive watch.

“Nothing” You took a sip of alcohol.

"Nothing?" He laughed softly, “Then why are you looking at me so weird?”

"Weird?"

“Different than usual,” the pink-haired one said.

“I don't look at you any differently than usual, Haru.” You answered after thinking for a moment.

"NO?" He snorted quietly. “I'd say you look at me like you're in love, Y/n.”

You looked at the glass that still had alcohol in it. Your heart skipped a beat, and you lightly bit the inside of your cheek.

“Stop biting your cheeks,” Sanzu muttered, turning back to the mirror to straighten his vest. “You have scars from it.”

"I know. Stupid habit.” Look at his reflection in the mirror again.

“Hmm, what do you want?” The pink-haired man asked when after a few minutes he noticed you were still looking at him. “You're quieter than usual.”

You tore your eyes away from him to look at the large potted plant in the corner of the room and took a sip of alcohol.

“Umm…” Feeling his gaze on you, you were at a loss for words.

“What?”

You felt a wave of warmth roll over your face.

“Shit.” You speak quietly. “Look… I … It’s about our next job. That is all.”

“What's wrong with it?” he fixed his hair and turned back to you to give you an amused look. “A job like any other. Nothing special about it.”

He walked over to the table and raised his glass to his lips. You watched the alcohol pour into his mouth and looked away, draining your glass.

“Would you like another drink?” Sanzu laughed as he put on his jacket.

"No thanks." you set your empty glass next to his and straightened your tie.

Sanzu thought for a moment and smiled. “Maybe we could continue this after the job is done?”

"If you still want to.”

He chuckled “Definitely. I would love to drink with you later again... But we really should go and do our jobs now, otherwise Ran will be mad at us for taking too long.”

You nodded and you left his apartment right behind him.

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You were heading to the meeting place with the Haitani brothers. You listened with a smile to Sanzu's arguments on various topics, mainly about the easiest way to solve the problem of showing up debtors. You knew very well that the pink-haired man was able to resolve conflicts in a relatively peaceful way, but that was only if he had taken a small amount, of drugs, not to mention alcohol, at that point. Just before leaving the car, Sanzu swallowed two more pills, increasing the risk of resorting to violent solutions to the conflict with debtors.

At one point you noticed that his hand was dangerously close to the holster hidden under his jacket. Sanzu often found himself saying something enthusiastically while brandishing his weapon. Then you had to keep an eye on him all the time. You were grateful he didn't bring his katana. The people you passed looked at you strangely at times and avoided you as much as they could.

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly, letting him know that he shouldn't pull out the gun. Sanzu looked at you surprised and slightly confused, but he didn't remove his hand. Sometimes you wondered what was going on in his head in moments like this.

“Promise me something, Sanzu.” you started calmly, looking into his eyes. His pupils were greatly dilated. “Try not to kill anyone today, okay?”

He blinked a few times, then frowned in frustration. “Okay, okay. Whatever.”

“Haruchiyo, I'm serious.” you squeezed his hand again. “Just focus on the job. There will be too many witnesses at the scene. We have to be more careful than usual, otherwise Kisaki will be furious.”

Sanzu snorted softly and yanked his hand from your grasp. "I know what I'm doing. Give it up." He continued down the sidewalk, leaving you behind.

You watched him walk away, wondering if you had made a mistake letting him take so many drugs before work. If he goes crazy and kills someone, Kisaki won't be the only one who will be furious. Not that he would listen to you... You've seen many times how Ran and Rindou put Sanzu down for his unnecessary show of aggression. You often had to take care of the pink-haired man's battered face - provided, of course, that he wasn't able to do it himself.

Sanzu, noticing that you weren't by his side, stopped and turned back. He looked at you with an unreadable expression on his face for a moment, then walked over to you with a wide smile and a twinkle in his eyes. "Hey! What is that gloomy face, Y/n?” he patted your back and pushed you forward slightly. “Come on, we have a job to do. The Haitanis are probably waiting for us."

You decided not to try to make him promise again and obediently continued on his way with him. You weren't far from your destination and soon you saw two figures waiting. They were smoking cigarettes and talking about something. You came closer and Sanzu greeted them cheerfully, insulting them. Fortunately, Ran and Rindou were not in a bad mood and ignored the taunt.

You looked at the older Haitani brother. “Is it true that instead of cash, we’re supposed to take over the nightclub?”

Ran nods, putting out his cigarette and throwing it on the sidewalk. “Yes, it's true. We have to take over the nightclub and get rid of all the staff that work there so we can sell the place for a lot more money, Tetta's order.”

“Have you seen the place yet? I don't know anything about nightclubs, and you three already have some." you shrugged, feeling Sanzu's gaze on you.

“Not the worst location, the building itself will require some renovation, but otherwise it's fine inside.” Rindou said, taking a drag from his cigarette. “You're in Bonten and you don't have a single successful business to own?”

“I have one, but not a nightclub. I own a fancy café in the shopping district.” you replied modestly.

“A cafe? You mean a hostclub style cafe, right?” Ran laughed.

You felt your face turn red. “No... just a regular coffee shop. No bitches or scams.”

The Haitani brothers looked at you with raised eyebrows, then looked at each other and started laughing. “No bitches, how innocent.”

“Gentleman.” Sanzu echoed them and you immediately felt an irresistible urge to punch him in the back of the head.

"Yes Yes. Very funny." you grumbled in annoyance. “Remember the fact that all profits from the cafe are legal and I am not at risk of being audited. No shady dealings.”

“It's okay, don't be nervous, Y/n.” Ran chuckled. “Maybe we'll visit your cafe sometime, hmm? What do you say, Rindou?”

"Absolutely. My girls are decent... I selected them personally. Their reputation is spotless.” you said quickly, not allowing the younger Haitani to respond. "End of jokes. Let's get to work."

“Are you in a hurry, L/n?” Rindou asked, stubbing out his cigarette. “Do you have an appointment with any girl?”

Your face became warmer. You hoped no one noticed your blush. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sanzu tense and various thoughts began to swirl in your head. You bit the inside of your cheek lightly.

“None of your business.” you grumbled a little more coldly than you intended, surprising both Haitanis. Fortunately, they decided not to pursue the topic any further. “So what? We go in there, talk to the owner of the nightclub, get our documents and leave, right?”

"Exactly. Tetta discussed the details of repaying the debt with the owner. We have to finish this.” Ran replied calmly.

“What if they resist? You can't call them a gang, but they can try their luck."

Ran smirks “Then let them try. We are armed.” he adjusted his tie. “It’s not too difficult to use if needed... Are you worried that we might get caught?”

You chuckled “No, I am not. But it would be nice to not have to call the guys to clean up again. We have to stop, otherwise the police will start sniffing around more."

Sanzu laughed softly. “It's probably you who should stop. You have the cold-blooded personality to kill someone if necessary.

You looked at Sanzu with raised eyebrow “Should I remind you of your episodes?”

He sighed and looked down for a second. “I suppose you’re right. Sometimes when I get too angry or upset, my mind goes blank, and I can’t control myself anymore... But that doesn’t mean it would happen while we are doing this job though! We won’t be shooting anyone today, so there is no need to worry about me losing my temper.”

You chuckled again at Sanzu's honesty and looked back at Ran and Rindou “No shooting tonight. At least until our debtors start.”

“I think it would be best if we just don't interact with the stuff or anyone else that might get in our way while we are doing this job... ” said Ran, then Rindou added “We wouldn't want to risk getting caught because of one little mistake, right?”

The four of you stood there for a moment, saying nothing else. The night sky was heavily overcast, threatening rain at any moment. Still, the night itself wasn't cold, and muffled music could be heard from the building. Quite a quiet night that you would like to spend in a completely different way.

“Okay, let's go.” Said Sanzu and walked briskly to the entrance guarded by two portly security guards who let him in without queuing.

The three of you followed him and entered a room with a counter, behind which there were several rows of hangers - it occurred to you that there might be more security guards and even paid killers hiding among them.

Sanzu's laughter brought you out of your thoughts and you looked towards him. Together with Ran and Rindou, he stood in the open door leading to the large dance hall. The music was uncomfortably loud and colorful lights swirled, illuminating the dancing people. It was obvious that the owner had used the borrowed money properly. It's a pity that the club didn't manage to earn enough money to repay the loan quickly.

“He almost did it.” Rindou said as you walked up to them. “We will have less work to do. Maybe Kisaki can even be persuaded not to sell the club? I see potential here.”

You went deeper into the room and discreetly looked around. People were sitting in the lodges, drinking alcohol and talking. Some were engaged with each other, but without the lewdness. At least not in the lodges closer to the dance floor.

“Not bad, not bad…” Sanzu muttered, looking towards several attractive girls who were dancing nearby.

You looked at them casually and nudged Sanzu's shoulder. “Focus on work. Come on now.” you grabbed his elbow and led him towards the direction the Haitani brothers had gone.

"I'm not a kid." your companion said and yanked his elbow out of your grip. “You've been asking for a beating lately, Y/n. Chill out.”

His words stung you slightly, but you ignored them. What you felt for the pink-haired man was a secret that only you knew. You couldn't stop him from looking for girls, it wouldn't be fair.

When you were walking past a bar, a young girl bumped into you, so you instinctively grabbed her to keep her from falling to the floor. "Sorry!" she screamed in fear and looked at your face. She blushed deeply and smiled slightly, "Thank you for your help... maybe we could..."

“I'm not here for entertainment, honey.” you interrupted her, letting go of her arm.

“Oh, I see…maybe later?” she asked with hope in her voice.

"I don't think so." you replied and suddenly felt a weight on your shoulder. You looked to the side in surprise and saw a smiling Sanzu, who was examining the girl with his eyes.

“I'd love to, little one.” he said cheerfully, but the girl's only response was a string of apologies.

She was obviously scared by Haruchiyo's appearance and quickly retreated towards the toilets.

“Bitch.” Sanzu muttered very dissatisfied, straightening up and taking his first steps towards the unfortunate girl's direction. "I guess someone should teach her some respect..."

"Absolutely not." you grabbed his arms and guided his steps towards the hall leading to the club owner's office. “We're not at Bonten’s property.”

"Still." Sanzu growled, but this time he didn't try to break free from your grip. “In a few minutes this club will be owned by Bonten. Then I'll deal with that bitch. He will still beg for mercy.” he chuckled, smiling broadly. “It will be my absolute pleasure to take care of her until no one recognizes her again.”

“So, I hope she will act wisely and leave this place faster than we leave the owner's office.” you replied quietly, still lightly pushing Sanzu forward.

"Hey! Whose side are you on, huh?” the pink-haired one turned his head to the side so he could look at you. There was anger in his eyes.

“Yours, you already know that.” you replied, looking at him. “I don't want you to get into trouble because of her.” You entered the hall and let go of him, to which Sanzu quickly turned towards you and pushed you against the wall. You didn't resist and looked into his eyes. "Come on. I'm asking for a beating, aren't I?" you said in a calm tone.

For a moment, you thought Sanzu was going to hit you this time. You saw that characteristic twinkle in his eyes that always appeared before the first blow. However, Haruchiyo started laughing softly and patted your cheek hard enough to make your skin sting a little. “Be assured that you are right, L/n.” he grimaced slightly, moved away from you and raised his hands up slightly. “I know you don't want me to hurt. Besides, the girl wasn't that pretty anyway..."

You slowly let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and continued to follow Sanzu.

You looked around the narrow corridor where two security guards were waiting for you. They looked quite average, like typical security guards - tall, well-built and with vague expressions on their faces. It didn't change the fact that there was a grain of uncertainty in your head. You didn't trust them, but that didn't surprise you at all. After all, you were there to take away their jobs. They welcomed you and led you to the office.

Sanzu entered first, and you stopped right next to him, slightly stepping to the front so that you could protect the pink-haired man in case of emergency. The Haitani brothers were already waiting for you inside. Ran's only comment at your tardiness was a slightly raised eyebrow, so you responded with a shrug.

In the rather large office, there were several file cabinets, a small bar and a large desk behind which sat the owner of the nightclub, Mr. Sato. He was a man in his forties whom you had met a year earlier when you and Kokonoi had provided him with a pre-arranged loan amount. You were struck by how much he had aged in these few months. Now he looked about ten years older. Advice for the future, never borrow money from the mafia, especially when you don't have the resources to repay the debt and the huge interest.

Two more security guards stood right behind him. They looked almost identical to the previous two, and the stupid thought crossed your mind that there must be a factory hidden underground somewhere in the world, creating security guards and sending them to all over the world to work in nightclubs.

A young, very attractive woman dressed in a short black dress sat on a dark green sofa. Her slim legs looked tempting in fashionable, expensive black high heels. A red light immediately went off in your head. The woman didn't seem dangerous, but there was something wrong with her, so you decided it would be best to keep an eye on the entire group.

“Good evening, Mr. Sato” Ran said in a calm tone and smiled slightly at the woman “Miss...?”

“My friends call me Mina.” the woman said softly, responding to Ran with a flirtatious smile.

“Miss Mina” Ran's smile never left his face.

“I assume you are here to take over my place?” said the club owner. The tone of his voice clearly showed displeasure at the woman's attention.

“Yes. That's correct.

Mr. Sato chuckled bitterly. “Very well then. If you think that is best for everyone involved... Just make sure to keep everything the way I left it, okay? It would be a shame to ruin all of this work just because someone wanted power and money too much.” Hypocrite. The young woman looks at you with her head tilted slighty.

“There is no need to be so bitter, Mr. These are. We will take care of the club as best as we can. We are professionals in our field.” Rindou said in an emphatic tone.

“Is this your daughter?” Sanzu asked casually, pointing at Min.

“No, but she's under my... protection.” the man bristled.

“So, she's a prostitute.” You noticed her smiling seductively at elder Haitani.

The woman didn't seem outraged, in fact she seemed to completely ignore Sanzu's comment. Why do most women flock to Ran like flies to honey? Mina. Suddenly it dawned on you.

The owner of the nightclub nodded. “Yeah, Mina is a prostitute. Why do you ask?”

"Were you trying to encourage yourself, or were you trying to soften us up with this girl?" Rindou asked.

“You got it right. She’s pretty and she is very good at seducing people, so I figured that this would make the job a lot easier for us. Do you mind?”

“We are not interested.” you replied coldly, ignoring the surprised looks from Ran and Sanzu.

“Really? She’s pretty and she looks very sweet... I think you would like her...” Mr. Sato smirked at you “Especially if you are intrested in women.”

“I am not interested in women who spread their legs in front of every man, especially when they do it for free so they can rob a customer.” you said coldly, noticing that you had caught the girl's attention with your comment. Now she looked outraged. You looked into her eyes and said with a blank face, “Mina, or rather Minako Hakugawa. Honestly, I'm disappointed with your behavior, Mr. Sato. We have our standards when it comes to prostitutes, and at least half of the area already had this one. We are not looking for dubious pleasures.”

“Do you know more prostitutes than me, Y/n?” Ran joked, losing interest in the woman.

"No comment."

Mr. Sato looked nervous, but the girl was throwing sinister glances at you.

“Y/n L/n…” she started to say, suddenly recognizing you, but the club owner silenced her with a single slap of his open hand on the desk.

“Let's get to the formalities, without additional and unnecessary discussions.” Ran said, walking closer to the desk. “I advise you not to make this more difficult than it needs to be...”

Rindou opened his jacket to show his gun and the atmosphere immediately changed. Now you could sense that this was the final end of the jokes.

The owner of the nightclub gulped and looked at him. “Okay, I get it. I’ll give you the club...”

“Keep an eye on the security guards, I don't like them.” you whispered to Sanzu, he nodded and moved slightly to the side so that if he needed to use the weapon, you wouldn't be in his way.

Mr. Sato puts the documents on the desk with the agreement to withdraw from the club as part of the debt repayment. “Everything is prepared the way Mr. Tetta ordered.”

Ran looked at the documents and smirked. “Good, good. I’m sure Kisaki will be pleased with you for this... You won’t have to worry about us bothering you anymore after tonight.” He grabbed the documents and puts them in his jacket pocket.

Suddenly girl, Mr. Sato and guards pulled out weapons and pointed it at the Haitian brothers, Sanzu and at you. “I changed my mind about my club. I won't give anything back! I will kill all of you and destroy any evidence that you were here!”

“You think that's gonna stop us?” Sanzu said in an amused tone. “You can try to eliminate us; it won't give you shit.”

Mina aimed at you and fired, missing. The bullet flew right past Sanzu's head, which he raised an eyebrow and laughed at. “I see you have some guts; I'll give you that!” He tilted his head while pulling out a gun and took one step forward and glanced at the club owner. “But let me tell you something... If this is how things are going to go, then there will be a lot of blood spilled tonight. So..." He looked back at Mina. “What do you say? “You give up now or continue with your pointless fight...?”

And then everything escalated very quickly. The two bodyguards started shooting at the Haitani brothers, but to no avail, so Ran and Rindou returned fire and hit them square in the chest, killing them instantly. A third security guard protected the fleeing Mr. Sato an additional exit from the club owner's office. Terrified, Mina tried to shoot Sanzu this time, but when she pulled the trigger, her gun jammed. However, the fourth security guard didn't have time to properly aim his gun at anyone, he was completely surprised by what was happening and your bullet hit him straight in the eye. You watched as his head snapped back and blood from the exit wound splattered the wall and part of the girl's face as she froze in place, too terrified to scream. Ran and Rindou ran after the fugitive, trying to catch him.

The pink haired man let out a maniacal laugh that made you look away from the bloody stain and look at him. For a moment he seemed happy to you and your heart skipped a beat, you loved seeing him like this... Suddenly you froze for a moment, realizing it was the effect of drugs, adrenaline and... You sighed softly and lowered your gun.

“You’re quite good at this. But I have to admit, it was not a very smart move on your part...” Sanzu smiled cruelly. “If you think that shooting me is going to be enough for you to get away with this, then I would rethink that decision of yours, darling.”

You walked up to the girl in anger, grabbed the gun from her hand and punched her hard in the face, knocking her off her feet and onto the sofa. She looked at you, holding her hurting cheek, but didn't utter a word.

“I want to take that bitch out for good.” you said in an icy tone as you unlocked her gun and placed it securely behind your belt.

Haruchiyo walked towards you half-dancing, still smiling, and put his gun to Min's head. “Is that so? Well, let me take sure she won't move again..." Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Ran returned to the office, followed closely by Rindou. Sanzu looked at the older man, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. He looked like he was thinking about something.

“Do you have any other plans for her?”

“We need her alive. Mr. Sato escaped, and we need to get information out of someone where his hideout is.” Ran replied and took out his phone. “We need to inform Hanma about everything, he will take care of our baby.”

You nodded and placed your hand on Sanzu's hand, signaling him to lower his weapon, which he did with a disappointed groan.

“Fuck, L/n! These wallpapers look new... Did you have to smear this guy's blood on them?” Rindou said, grimacing at you. ”What do you have with shooting people in the face, hmm? Fuck..."

You looked at him innocently “Old habits... Sorry, okay?”

“Try to shoot in the chest next time.” Ran laughed and started talking to Hanma on the phone, quietly reporting to him about the situation. “Yes, we still have those documents. Sure, the girl is still alive..." He looked at her pounting slightly. “No, just slightly bruised.” He nodded a few times and hung up. “Hanma is on his way. He didn't sound particularly upset. I guess they expected this turn of events.”

“It was supposed to be a simple job, but now it’s a mess.” he rubbed his face with hand. “What a night.”

“There's a camera here.” said the girl very quietly.

"What?" Sanzu looked at her closely. “What was that, bitch?”

“I said there's a camera here, asshole.” she said louder and immediately got hit in the face by the pink-haired man.

“More respect!”

You and Rindou looked around and saw a camera in the corner of the room. “Fuck, wonderful.” Rindou groaned and began searching the room for the hard drive it was connected to.

“Hanma will want to see the videos.” Ran said, pouring himself a drink from the small bar. He looked over his shoulder towards the sofa. “Would you like something to drink, baby?”

“I need a drink, but not here…” you said, pointing to the dead bodies on the floor. “I'm going downstairs, and I'll check how the club's clientele is doing. I hope they didn't hear anything."

“And I hope old man Sato didn't call the police.” Rindou muttered.

“He didn't call, and if he does, we'll know right away.” Ran laughed as he sipped his drink, he looked at you with a smile. “Take your time, Y/n, we've got plenty of it.”

You left the office and immediately loud, but slightly muffled music reached your ears. You closed the door and headed down the hall towards the dance hall.

NEXT>

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x y/n #male reader #tokyo revengers haruchiyo sanzu #haruchiyo sanzu #haruchiyo sanzu x reader

37 notes · View notes

sylvyspritii · 1 month

Note

Do you know any tips for better usage of Virtual Guitarist VST? I know that it doesn't play notes at the 1st bar and some presets require shifting notes to the left a bit, but is there more stuff like that?

Okay i'm sorry for waiting so long with answering this ask, but that's because this is a question that requires a very VERY long answer, and i didn't have the motivation to type it all out until now, because i want to help you, so hopefully you will still read this, and if not, then i hope i can still help others Let's begin! 1. "Notes do not play on the 1st bar" This is an issue with a lot of different VST's and MIDI hardware, i highly reccomend always starting your compositions at the second bar, so, like this screenshot:

2. "Some presets require shifting notes to the left a bit" This is actually a problem on your end, this is because you might have (unknowingly) set your ASIO drivers to something that does not sync properly to some of your VST's, this can create inconsistents timings, but thankfully there are multiple solutions, there is "the easy one" and "oh no, this one sucks, it's hard", i will explain both THE EASY WAY The easy version is to just set your ASIO driver to FL Studio ASIO and put your playback tracking to Hybrid like in this screenshot:

But let's be real, we all have our own setups, and this simple solution doesn't always work, so it's time for a deep delve! THE HARD WAY Go hard or go home, it's time to suffer with weird FL Studio bits and bobbles, but i will try my best to guide you through this

Okay so this is the mixer panel ^

Assign your Steinberg Virtual Guitarist 2 VST channel thing to one of the funny little numbers (we use 1 in this example)

Select the corresponding number in the mixing panel (1 in this example), it will be green-ish now, that means it's selected

Now on the right side of the mixer panel, look down

Look for this, this weird little greyed out clock with the (none), that's the chaos magic that makes time travel possible in FL Studio and it will take some time getting used to Basically, this thing can make your entire channel time travel to the past or future DURING LIVE PLAYBACK That's right, multi-timeline playblack, strap in, we're in for a ride

Click on that thingy, and you will see this menu There's multiple options for deciding your "time", personally, i prefer using miliseconds (ms), because it allows you to be the most precise (Note: the miliseconds option is NOT the best when you are composing a song that has shifting BPM's, if you are using BPM change events, then it is better to fiddle with the samples or beats settings, but this can be very annoying, good luck if this is the case!)

So here's the fun part, you will see this menu when you have clicked on the "Set in ms" thingy So, this will start with 0 of course, that means that it's synced with the main playback timeline

So, because you are "shifting your notes a bit to the left", it means that you are accounting for a delay issue, right? But what if you didn't have to do that? What if you could simply fix the delay by making the sound that the note plays /before/ the note plays? That's what this does! By using a negative value (such as -100), you are instructing the channel to play the note -100 miliseconds /before/ the note is triggered in the piano roll Of course, you will have to fiddle with the precise number, but this will make it so that you don't have to shift the note slightly to the left anymore, you can just place the note like you normally would in a normal synced piano roll, but you can do that! You know what to do now, the rest is up to you, use your feelings to find the right spot! 3. Other Tricks Okay so here's some other cool tricks with Virtual Guitarist 2

Do you see this? Usually, when you play a note in Virtual Guitarist 2, the note will keep "playing", like, it will keep "going", like a reverb tail But, if you place a note with 0 velocity after that, the long previous note will end automatically! To do this, you have to drag the little line in the velocity section of the piano roll (it's at the bottom) all the way down, all the way to the bottom Here's another cool trick:

Okay so remember the previous trick? That won't work if you place the notes close together like this BUT

Go to this stupid little magnet thing on the top left of the piano roll, and change "1/4 beat" to something smaller (much smaller) like "1/6 step"

Now select all the notes

Now do this with your mouse Now, the notes WILL actually stop! Because there's a little small distance between them, this small change makes it so that the first note doesn't "go over" the second note, which makes the zero velocity data of the second note that you gave it trigger properly Okay there's one more cool secret trick

In the preset "Heavy Chords", starting from the 5th octave and going up from there, every note that is F#, G, or G# (and even more shit when you get to the 10th octave) gives you weird little effect sounds Soooooooo, if you wanna use this presets without automatically getting these effects, then shift down the octaves by using CTRL + down on your keyboard But these effects can be cool sometimes though of course!

youtube

For example, at 1:32 in Wonderful Heaven, you can hear one of those weird effects from the Heavy Chords preset used in the background (maybe it's difficult to hear, it's not that loud, but in my opinion it's a really cool detail in the song and it's part of what makes the song sound so iconic)

Anyways thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about Tenshi's theme again And yes, i found that Tenshi guitar sample simply by accident because i kept getting annoyed by accidentally triggering that effect until i discovered "wait a fucking second, is that the Tenshi guitar sample thing???" Anyways, i hope that was enough? If you have any other questions like these, feel free to send another ask, but please keep in mind it can take me a while to respond, because i prefer giving detailed answers when it comes to things i'm passionate about Have fun casually time travelling your music!

#music #fl studio #touhou #virtual guitarist #tenshi #music production #ask #answer #sylvysprit #vst

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monsterswithimagines · 12 days

Text

Undisclosed Desires - Part 32

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Masterlist

How will we ever get back to normal, (Y/n)?

You are terrified of me. You won't say as much and you try hard to hide it, but you sleep on the very edge of the bed and jolt when I touch you unexpectedly.

You don't hide from me. You don't avoid me. You don't pull away when I kiss you, and you even kiss me first.

But you drink far more than usual. You can't get through the day without several glasses of wine or beer. You can't abide my touch with something to dull your senses.

And you smoke. I've never seen you with even a single cigarette but suddenly you're going outside every half hour to light up. You don't read and you can't focus on any movie and you zone out during conversations.

It's all my fault.

I did this to you. I wasn't careful enough. You should've never had to know about any of this.

You're not the one who's supposed to carry this weight.

Your mother's funeral is on the second of January, which is the day I'm supposed to fly back to New York. Obviously, I delay my flight. I can't let you go alone. It would look incredibly weird for your boyfriend not to show up with you, for one. But more importantly, I'm afraid that if I leave the country before you, you're either going to say something to someone, or decide not to follow me back.

I can't trust you.

And you don't trust me.

It's December 31st and tonight, your aunt and uncle as well as Nadia are coming to the AirBnB to celebrate New Year’s. You are cleaning up and cooking at the same time. Me? I'm reading. I did try to help you, but you told me the same thing you tell me every time you do anything requiring organisational skills: that you'll just get annoyed with me for doing it wrong.

There is a silence between us that demands to be filled. But how?

You must be thinking the same thing.

“Good book?”

“I don't know yet.”

“What's it about?”

I glance at you. Your tone is so casual, you'd almost think you don't know who you're talking to.

“It's about a ten-year-old girl who's suspected of a crime.”

“What did she do?”

“Everyone thinks she killed another kid.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Sure.”

This may be the most sexless conversation we've ever had. We are like an old married couple who have long since fallen out of love.

I close the book - Ordinary Human Failings by Megan Nolan - and set it on the coffee table, then stand and approach you. You are at the stove, stirring soup. You hear me come, and don't startle when I put my chin on your shoulder.

“Hi,” I say.

“Not now, Joe. I'm busy.”

“I know,” I say. “But it's two pm. Nobody's getting here for hours. Take a break.”

“I don't want to take a break.”

Your voice is clipped and you hate me. You must hate me.

But then, when I'm already stepping away from you, you turn the flame on the stove lower and turn to me. You step back into my space, tilting your head to look up at me, and place your hands on my sides.

My hands come up automatically to cover yours.

“I'm sorry,” you say. “That was mean.”

“It wasn't that mean.”

“It was mean,” you insist, resting your chin against my chest. “How can I make it up to you?”

Your tone is suggestive and you are lowering yourself to the floor, getting on your knees. Suddenly, we are not in a sexless marriage at all and you have never sucked my dick before, and I am tempted to let you. I want to let you.

But I can't.

“Stop,” I say, pulling you back to your feet. “Don't do that.”

“Why not?” you ask, blinking innocently at me.

“Because you don't want to.”

You snort.

“I think I'm giving you pretty clear signals that I want to.”

“But you don't.”

You huff and step away from me, crossing your arms. Your elbow almost knocks the pan off the stove, and I react. I pull you toward me, away from the danger. Except that danger doesn't exist, because you never touch the pan.

You slam into me and I stumble back against the breakfast table and your lips are on mine, pressing hard, demanding to be kissed.

What can I do but comply?

You taste like wine - you started drinking at twelve - and tobacco. Your body feels tinier against mine then it's meant to. At least that last part isn't my fault.

“Don't tell me what I want,” you insist against my lips, and press your palm against my clothed cock. “And don't pretend not to want it, too.”

I can't help it, (Y/n). Of course I want to. Of course my dick is rock hard the second you touch me. But I want to do the right thing here.

“This is a bad idea.”

You humm in answer, pulling your shirt - which is my shirt - over your head and throwing it to the side. You are not wearing a bra and your nipples are hard, begging me to touch them, but I won't.

“We shouldn't,” I insist.

“We should, though.”

“(Y/n).”

But you kiss me again, and your lips are like an aphrodisiac. My hands cup your cheeks and I kiss you back and then I'm lifting you with my hands underneath your thighs, whirling around to sit you down on the table and crowding between your legs.

You are not wearing pants and it would be so easy to pull your panties to the side, tug myself out of my sweats and fuck you just like this. Right here. But if I do, what kind of person am I?

What kind of person am I to be touching you with these hands that pushed you against the wall and bruised you? What kind of person am I to take advantage of you when you are afraid of me? When you are tipsy? When you may or may not hate me?

I should be taking myself far away from you.

I pull backwards, out of your orbit, but your hands on my arms reel me back in. If you are a planet, I am your moon. No, if you are a planet, I am the asteroid on my way to destroy you.

“What is it, Joe?” you ask, rubbing your hand along my cheek. “You're a million miles away.”

“I can't do this,” I say. “Okay? I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” I say, and pause. You should know the answer but you don't. You stare at me like I’m an idiot. “Because.” I repeat.

“Okay.”

You push me away and you stand and you bend and pick up your shirt. There is a chasm between us, and it is widening. It widens more when you cover up your skin.

“You know, Joe,” you say. “I'm trying. I am. Because I want this to work. Because I love you.”

You love me.

If that's the truth, I have broken you after all.

#joe goldberg #you netflix #penn badgley #joe goldberg imagine #imagine #joe goldberg x reader #joe goldberg x you #joe goldberg x female!reader #joe goldberg x y/n #x reader

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magicalrocketships · 1 year

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Hello!! I'm really excited about reading more Max/Daniel dick chicken fic (how did the last ask put it?? escalating horny/feral gay chicken sexting maxiel fic? 🤲) Do you have a snippet you could share?? Thank you!!

I DO have another snippet I can share!!

This is from a fic known subtly as Daniel and Max play Dick Chicken. The snippet I've posted already is here, and there are another couple of bits and pieces in my dick chicken tag, but I swear I can never actually make those tag links work any more, so sorry if that comes up with literally nothing. Yay, Tumblr! I promise they do exist even Tumblr insists that's a broken link.

Anyway, have some Max/Daniel rimming. (E, 1700 words. Ever so slightly edited to remove a couple of bits of context-required spoilers but it should still make sense). The entire fic should be subtitled the one where they're feral for each other. This bit is the first time they've actually got naked together and not through a phone screen.

"You are late."

"I had to shower." Daniel feels like he should protest because they never specified a time, and anyway, only one of them has travelled half the fucking globe today, and he's done most of his sleeping recently in very uncomfortable airplane seats and it is not his fault that he's completely fucking insane over Max fucking Verstappen, who— who is just pushing down his shorts. He is just getting naked in his entrance hall and looking at Daniel like Daniel is the one making strange choices. Which he is, but at least he's still fucking clothed like a fucking normal person.

"You did not need to shower to come here, Daniel," Max says. "Take your clothes off."

Daniel toes off his flip-flops and leaves his phone and keys on the hall table. "I was gross, I needed to shower."

"No," Max says, holding his hands palm up and doing a little lifting motion with them, a take your t-shirt off, please request that Daniel obeys because it's either that or… not taking his t-shirt off. "It was fine. But now you are here, and you are not naked."

This is the most they've talked since Daniel left Red Bull. This is fine. There is probably nothing to say, anyway. They both know why they're here. He tugs his koala t-shirt over his head and lets it pool on the floor, tangling with Max's discarded clothes as Daniel shoves down his shorts. He's half-hard in Max's apartment, shorts hanging off one foot, and Max has his hand cupped around his dick like he could be posing for any one of those expressionless selfies he's sent Daniel over the past few weeks.

Daniel is playing the same little song on a loop in his head and it goes what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—

Max tilts his chin up. "I am going to lick you out and make you come, Daniel."

Cool, Daniel thinks nonsensically, as any remaining brain power he still has takes a nosedive off the nearest balcony. His dick gives up too, and just gets as hard as it's ever got before. It even gives Max a jaunty little wave. Cool. Not embarrassing.

"If you still want it, of course."

"I want it," Daniel says, and something in his brain must still be processing information because he doesn't remember deciding to say yes. It just happened while he was still trying to take in the fact that Max Verstappen is naked in front of him, with his dick out, and the world still appears to be turning on its axis like everything is fine.

Fuck, Daniel remembers when he used to be straight.

"Good," Max says, and sets off for the bedroom like Daniel is just going to follow.

Daniel follows. Max doesn't take him to the bed, though, but to the dressing table over the other side of the bedroom. There's Max's stuff on it, discarded boarding passes and stuff from his pockets and detritus from travelling. Knocked over deodorant bottles, sponsor shit he's never even bothered opening. A watch getting dusty somewhere in among the still packaged Red Bull t-shirts. There's a mirror.

Max nods towards it. "You can watch yourself," he says, like that's a normal thing to say, and he drops to his fucking knees.

Daniel looks at him for the longest moment, at Max Verstappen hard and naked and on his knees for him, weirdly expressionless but clearly waiting for Daniel to get on with it.

So: Daniel leans over the dressing table, palms flat against the surface. He spreads his legs and looks back over his shoulder at Max kneeling behind him.

Max looks up at him then. His eyes are bright. "I am going to make you come, Daniel."

"Yeah," Daniel says. His voice is hoarse. "Please."

Max adjusts his position. On his knees, directly behind him, his dick just there. Hard. Glistening wet at the tip. Daniel's mouth is dry. He licks his lips. Then Max cups Daniel's ass in his hands. Palms to his skin. "I have thought about this a lot, Daniel," he says, spreading Daniel's ass cheeks like this is a normal way to touch someone intimately for pretty much the first time. Daniel's skin already feels like touch paper. One spark and he'll be decimated. "I have come already thinking about this."

Daniel stares at himself in the mirror. He is pink. Unshaven. Eyes wide. His throat works. "Yeah?"

"Yes, very much," Max says, and then he strokes over Daniel's hole with the pad of his thumb. Daniel's hips skitter forwards, thighs hitting the dressing table. His dick bumps up against the torn plastic packaging of a new Red Bull shirt. Daniel shoves the plastic away until it's just the t-shirt. He drags his tip across the shirt. It leaves a little snail trail already. Max's thumb strokes his hole. It is disconcerting, because Max has never demonstrated a second of warming up in any of his pictures or videos. His is a hot lap approach to orgasms, fast and furious, and right now it is just his thumb. Daniel is watching himself in the mirror and it is already too much and literally nothing has happened yet. He is watching his own destruction and it is too late to stop it. He is already destroyed.

But then— Max spits on him. He spits and it runs down Daniel's ass crack and over his hole and Max gathers it up and strokes him wet. He spits again.

Daniel blurts pre come onto Max's shirt. He swallows down a groan. He is watching Rome burn but he is Rome and he's the one who lit the fucking match.

"You can make noises, Daniel," Max says. He has switched to the pads of his fingers, more than one. Daniel can feel his hole fucking flutter and it is humiliating, but it is more humiliating when he presses back against Max's fingers. But then Max leans in and Daniel feels the warmth of Max's breath on his skin and then Max presses his tongue to Daniel's hole and Daniel fucking expires.

Max is all business. He is data driven, at speed, the track a learning experience beneath his tongue. He drags his tongue up Daniel's crack, sweeps of attention that have Daniel whimpering. He laps at Daniel's hole, kitten licks, only moving away to spit on him, dirty and so, so fucking hot. He cups Daniel's balls through his legs, not gentle, never gentle, like touch is function and the only outcome is Daniel's eventual orgasm.

Daniel drowns. He drowns in the mirror, helpless to stay quiet, skin flushing pink. He presses his ass back into Max's face, and Max digs his fingers into Daniel's thigh and licks at him like it's a fucking race. Daniel melts like ice cream. When Max's thumb presses inside of him, his tongue lapping around it, Daniel cries out. He holds himself up on the flats of his palms, leaning forward until his forehead is pressed against the mirror. His breath clouds, wet and warm, steaming up the mirror.

Max's thumb is replaced by his tongue. He is inside of him. He eats Daniel out like he's starving. It is filthy hot. Spit drips down his crack. His dick leaks pre come across Max's shirt, and for a moment, Daniel longs for him to wear it afterwards. Daniel marking him up like he's his. He gasps it out into the mirror.

Max sits back, his breathing ragged. His tongue is replaced by a finger, two fingers, then he's back and there is spit and his tongue and he covers Daniel's hole with his mouth and alternately sucks and blows like it's a fucking practice session and he's trying to find the best fucking line to take a corner.

Daniel shudders through it. He shivers. He is disintegrating, Max re-arranging his molecules with his tongue, but the mirror shows him whole. A fucking mess, but whole. He reaches down to grab his dick, but he's barely got his fist wrapped around it when Max is nudging his hand away.

"I am going to make you come, Daniel," Max tells him, circling Daniel's wrist with his free hand. "Not you."

Daniel drops his chin to his chest. "You're going to," he manages. "God, Max, you're going to."

"Good," Max says, sounding satisfied, sounding breathless, and then he's spitting on Daniel's hole again and it's so fucking gross and so fucking perfect that Daniel just forgets everything but the points of connection; fingertips circling his wrist, a thumb to his pulse point, Max's nose and his lips and his fucking tongue. His other hand splayed across the top of his thigh, his thumb to Daniel's ass. The dressing table is leaving lines across the tops of his thighs. Daniel hopes they bruise, hopes he can go back home and press his hands to the marks and know that they are there because he went looking for knives and he found Max.

He found Max. God, he's going to come. He's going to fucking come, and it's going to be with his dick untouched because Max is still holding his wrist. Max's mouth circles his hole again, lips pressed to his skin. Max blows. Max's tongue tickles him, laps at his rim, slips inside again.

Daniel shudders, shivers, trembles. He tips over into orgasm almost without permission, pulsing come over Max's new Red Bull shirt, his dusty watch, a discarded bottle of Right Guard. A single condom, still in its wrapper. He presses his forehead to the mirror and watches come seep into Max's shirt.

Max licks him through it, until Daniel's pretty much pushing him away, over-sensitive and out of it. He drops to his elbows on the dressing table, hands to his face. He breathes. Behind him, Max gets to his feet. His hand goes to Daniel's hip. To the small of his back. Down over his ass, spreading his cheeks again. He's jerking off. Daniel knows without looking, he knows those sounds.

He shifts so he can watch in the mirror. He meets Max's gaze. He's flushed, his face a mess, his hair everywhere. Pre come drips onto Daniel's ass. His hand blurs.

"Come on me," Daniel tells him. "Please, Max. Please."

#my fic #dick chicken #subtitle: the one where they're feral

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weepylucifer · 9 months

Note

24. "You're trembling." steban/ulixes

The whole mess starts like this: one afternoon, Ulixes doesn't turn up to the reading group meeting.

His absence is a stark confrontation with the fact of how alone Steban is. Thus far, as long as at least Ulixes was still coming to the meetings regular as clockwork, Steban could go on with business as usual and put off reckoning with how solipsistic his little pretense at a revolutionary cell has become. Pretend like any educating of anyone in matters of radical theory was still being done here... like other members could walk in at any moment and give the whole thing a purpose again. Now, with Ulixes absent, Steban sits and waits and drinks too much coffee and feels, though he tries to ignore it, a bit like an idiot with his metaphorical dick in his hand.

He considers his options: he could go out and try to recruit again, he could go to bed and have a depressive episode, he could do serious self-critique about where the reading group went astray and why, he could wallow in his misery about driving his friends away with leftist infighting. He could disband the reading group. He could steal Cindy's pyrholidon and get high. He could go to Uli's apartment and start a huge fight about his perceived betrayal. He could get high, go to Uli's apartment, and have a sobbing breakdown about how Uli is his only friend and Uli's absence would destroy his life.

All those destructive impulses are eventually pushed aside, and Steban decides he will go to Uli's apartment, to check if there's something wrong with him. Uli has never missed a meeting before. Maybe it's not betrayal yet. Maybe there's something he needs...

When he, an hour later, knocks on Uli's door, Ulixes opens looking perturbed and disheveled, but at least he doesn't seem sick or hurt.

"Hi," Steban says. "You--"

"Oh no. The meeting..." Ulixes looks so caught out and almost frightened that whatever was left of Steban's sense of betrayal immediately evaporates. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to miss it, I've been out all day and... I only just came back here, you have to believe me..."

Steban raises a hand. He doesn't like seeing his friend so anxious. "It's alright. What's going on?"

Ulixes suddenly slumps against the doorframe, his skinny form bending like a defeated reed. "It's Comrade Reading, he's... gone missing."

Ah, yes, Required Reading. Uli's new kitten. Uli's new kitten that Steban is all support for, because Uli having a gentle, non-violence-related hobby must be encouraged... as long as the cat doesn't come close enough to Steban to shed hair on him.

Steban likes houseplants. They're his preferred way of existing alongside nature as a communist should. They're pretty, quiet, predictable, and can be raised according to a manual. They don't yell at him in the middle of the night, or scratch him, or bite him, or break his things, or shit in a box he has to clean, or mess up his cleanly, tidy, pleasant little apartment. Besides, something about this particular cat is... strange. It meows and purrs and cuddles and plays and whatever else the things do, but there's something Steban can't put his finger on that is... weird. The less he sees of it, the better.

Still, if Uli wants a cat, a cat he shall have. If Uli wants to spend every moment of his free time with a cat and not his human best friend who can actually carry a conversation and doesn't smell like litterbox, well... so be it. Who is Steban to question his tastes?

"I opened the door briefly to get the mail and he darted out past me," Ulixes is saying. "I've been looking for him all day."

"Oh," Steban says, then makes an effort to imbue his voice with more sympathy, "I mean... oh."

Now, he expects, is when Uli is going to channel his concern for his pet into rage, the way he usually does, and vow some vague idea of vengeance onto the universe for making this happen to him. Now he'll say something over the top like swearing to murder whoever should dare harm or withhold his cat from him in several grisly and overly specific ways that will leave Steban a mixture of nauseated and fondly exasperated, because it's clear that while Ulixes dreams (in graphic detail) of violence, he has never actually experienced it up close, and these fantasies are just how he copes, and...

"This is all my fault," Ulixes whispers, and Steban is shocked to see his eyes beneath his glasses growing damp, "I'm so bad at this, and now I messed it all up."

He sits down on his desk chair and buries his head in his hands. "Why did I ever think I could take care of something? He could die out there, and it's my fault."

There's nothing for it. Steban's still not exactly fond of the cat, but... seeing Ulixes this quietly devastated turns the world inside out. Steban thinks, I need you like I need my limbs and blood and beating heart, and puts his hand on Uli's shoulder. "We'll look for him together."

----

They make missing posters and print them on campus, and Steban volunteers to help put them up around Uli's neighborhood. They spend the rest of the day looking for Required Reading, even when it gets dark, even when it starts to rain. Eventually, Steban makes Uli take a break. Ulixes resists it, but at some point, he does have to sleep. Steban stays with him as their rain-soaked clothes dry over the heater, and softly reassures him as he drifts into an uneasy sleep.

Two days go by. The rain doesn't let up. Ulixes keeps searching for Required Reading, and Steban supports him, though privately he's beginning to lose hope for the whole endeavor. Revachol is gigantic, and there are myriads of ways for a very small cat to vanish in it. And of course Steban is sad for Uli's sake, because Uli really loved - loves - that cat, and taking care of something small and vulnerable has revealed a new side of him, one that Steban finds intriguing. But... a part of him, a part he tries to ignore because he's not quite comfortable with having it in him to think so lowly, is... not too bothered by the prospect of things going back to how they were before Required Reading appeared. Back when he- when the reading group had Uli's undivided attention. When Uli was focused on him the cause. When Uli would look at him with adoring eyes and--

Stop, Steban tells himself. That's a scummy way to think, and wholly inappropriate when it comes to your comrade. Of course you want him to get his cat back.

He should interrogate that entire train of thought, practice self-critique and remind himself of the incompatibility of Mazovian thought with such... greedy possessiveness. But he's not ready to examine himself in this instance, so he pushes it all down and out of sight.

It's ironic then that, on the third day, Steban finds the cat first.

He's on his way to Uli's apartment. It's still raining and he doesn't have an umbrella, so he's steadily getting soaked through. All he really wants is to get out of the weather. Still, he pauses when he hears, from across the deserted square, a tiny cry, like a baby, or a...

...kitten.

They've pinned one of the missing-cat-posters to a lamppost on the sidewalk here three days ago. Now, under the lamppost, crouched under a soggy, discarded newspaper that offers only scant protection from the elements, there he is, meowing plaintively for help: Required Reading. His fur is plastered to his body with rainwater, but it is him.

(It would be so easy for a passerby to recognize that this is the cat on the poster. Almost as if he sat himself down here on purpose... but surely that's impossible. Cats can't read, or recognize themselves on pictures.)

(Weird.)

Steban shakes his head. It's probably just a coincidence. He'd better scoop the cat up before he runs away, hope he doesn't get his arms scratched up, and bring the little thing home to Uli. Cautiously, he steps closer.

Sigh. Here goes nothing...

Suddenly, he hesitates. A thought unfolds...

Maybe he could just... keep walking. Pretend he didn't see. Ulixes would never know. He'd be sad for a while, but eventually he'd recover, and then they'd spend time in their meetings again like they used to... no more cat hair on his clothes, no more mess, no more having to feign interest in an animal he honestly finds a bit off-putting... and Uli's attention would not waver again, and Steban would never have to ask himself what he even is without Ulixes.

He stands in silence while the rain beats down.

Required Reading has stopped crying. He's seen Steban and, doubtlessly, recognized him. He doesn't scamper up to him like Steban supposed he might. He simply looks at Steban with eyes that seem way too intelligent, and in this moment Steban is convinced that somehow the cat knows what he's thinking. Knows that Steban is considering abandoning him here.

Weird!

Or maybe that's just his conscience?

"This is nonsense," Steban mutters to himself. Of course he's going to bring the cat back to Uli. Because that's the right thing to do, and it'll take the anguish off of Uli's mind, and surely Uli will be so relieved and thankful. Steban can just picture it: his normally reserved friend smiling and hugging Required Reading close to him, and maybe then he'll set the cat down and hug Steban, too, and express his gratitude and regard for how Steban went above and beyond for him... maybe there'd even be a kiss on the cheek in it for him...

But no. Why would there be? Steban is used to kisses from his family members as casual displays of affection, that is just their way, but if Ulixes did that... if Ulixes kissed him on the cheek, it would be different, it would mean something.

Despite the rain, he blushes. What is this thought? What is he considering here? And anyway, he's not supposed to do things because he expects a reward. Again, what an inappropriate thought to have, about a comrade no less. He can't just stand here getting lost in... whatever this is. There's a task to do.

Slowly, carefully, telegraping his movements, he crouches down and reaches for Required Reading. By some miracle, the cat doesn't spook. He lets Steban scoop him up, his small, shivering body almost eclipsed completely by Steban's slender hands.

"Aww, pobrecito," Steban murmurs, dutifully, because that seems like the sort of thing one says. "You're trembling... come here, let's get you home."

"Mrreeep," Required Reading says, huddling closer to Steban's body heat.

Steban tucks him underneath his jacket and continues on his way. It's still pouring down upon him, and the cat sneezes into his armpit, but he barely notices, his head swimming with thoughts of what awaits him: the warm and dry apartment, maybe some hot coffee, the opportunity to bring Ulixes a wonderful surprise, the dread and self-recriminations leaving his comrade's face and being replaced with joy, the feel of his body pressed against Steban's in an exuberant embrace, the gentle rasp of his beard against Steban's own stubble when the--

Hm.

As Required Reading, bundled up under his jacket, starts to purr, Steban begins his struggle to contend with the fact that, apart from everything else he's got going on already, he now apparently dreams of his comrade's kiss.

#answer'd #three people in total requested this prompt. and i will do it thrice!!!#disco elysium #steban the student communist #ulixes #required reading (the cat)#i stayed up until 6am to write this please clap #writings by me

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