#sorry to trauma dump but i'm not having it rn

[snallavanta]

kinda ironic how i studied communication, yet suck at doing it in real life

[skyteglad]

the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.

that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.

i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.

[ghostzussy]

god being repeatedly traumatized from a young age is literally the most fucking annoying thing ever like you'll be sad and gotta go through the goddamn checklist to figure out why

Like am I crying because I miss my friend who died when I was 12 or because I attended a funeral 3 days ago or because my cat ran away or because my best friend from hs ghosted me and moved across the country without telling me or because I'm depressed or because I'm on my period or because my room is a mess or because a memory of my dad hitting me as a kid popped up again or because I'm in thyroid storm again or because-

IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS AJDNANS I'm going to go feral

[monsterrae1]

✨Inspiration saturday ✨

Tagged by @tizniz @spotsandsocks @loserdiaz @buckaroosheart @disasterbuckdiaz

I'm trying very hard to finish demon Buck just cause it's been sitting on my drafts forever and honestly i'm even dreaming about it, so yeah here have a moodboard.

Tiny snippet to go with it:

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked, taking his hand and pulling him into the house.

“Yeah, I just, wasn’t sure you’d want me around so soon after I dumped all my trauma on you last night,” He was chewing his lip in a nervous way, his eyes refusing to meet Eddie’s.

“Why wouldn’t I? Besides you didn’t dump anything on me, I asked you to share.”

Buck nodded, “You trusted me to take care of Chris and I turned into a sob story, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Eddie sighed, “You also fed him, and kept him entertained all afternoon, and happy; I should’ve asked if you were okay with watching him before even asking you, I’m sorry I didn’t think about that.”

Buck finally looked up to him and tilted his head like a confused puppy, “You’re too kind to me, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head, “C’mon, we can watch a few episodes of Supernatural before we need to pick up Chris.”

Buck groaned just like Eddie knew he would, complaining that the show was so inaccurate it made his infernal blood boil.

“Complain all you want bud, one of their rituals is what brought you here.”

“Whatever,” He said, rolling his eyes and pressing play on the TV. 

Tagging if they have anything they'd like to share: @hoodie-buck @buddierights @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @underwater-ninja-13 @heartshapedvows @eddiebabygirldiaz @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @watchyourbuck @spaceprincessem @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus and anyone else who wants to (i'm blanking so hard rn on everyones url im sorry)

[cutely-inserts-my-opinion]

SOOO, it's crazy how UNLOYAL I am to the TSAMS characters that I am obsessing over 😭 NOW HEAR ME OUT, I SWITCH MY FAVORITE EVERY TEN SECONDS 😭

So, when I watched the show for the first time, I BINGED EVERY SINGLE EPISODE WHERE MOON WAS IN CUZZZZ IDK??? I remember the first video about him I watched was Moon trauma-dumping, having an emotional breakdown, blah blah blah, being classic and iconic ✨💅, SO OF COURSE I WANTED MORE ANGST >:D Don't question my sanity, I HAVE PROBLEMS 😔✋

Then, I switched to Eclipse because HE SASSY, GAY, AUTISTIC AND SILLY, THAT ALWAYS MAKES ME OBSESS OVER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER >:D

THEN, the first versions of Bloodmoon and DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF??? OKAY PROBABLY- 🤣 but like just look at him, HE GOTTA GET JAILED FOR BEING TOO GOOFY AND ADORABLE 😭 BUT FOR MASS MURDER AS WELL ACTUALLY WHOOPS- 😀

AND THENNNNN, ECLIPSE AGAIN and I tryna stick to him for now, BUT HELL NAH SUN IS COMPETING WITH HIM RN NGL 😭

And like Lunar is not on the list cuz like I LOVED him at the beginning, but now... sry I don't like him 😐 And Earth is... meh 🤷‍♀️ BUT NO ONE CAN DENY THAT SHE JUST A SILLY FELLOW, LIKE SHE A QUEENNNNN ✨💅 Monty doesn't deserve her tho AND I'LL STAND MY GROUND, YEAH, I AM MONTY HATER - But I LOVED him at the beginning though and his small arc he had going on 😭

Soooo, this was like longer than the Bible, BUT NO, I'M NOT SORRY FOR WASTING THE TIME OF EVERYBODY READING THIS ;D Thank you thoooo :3

BYEEEEEEEEEEE :D

Honestly switching through characters is so real of you

And yes Monty is shit glad people agree

[compassionatereminders]

Tw psych ward, God mention, and cop mention! Sorry this is a bit of a dump.

Sorry to vent in your inbox but I feel like I’m making my life so much worse. I’m stuck in a complicated trauma bond-ish relationship with my dad and sister and I don’t know what to do. They’ve abused me in so many ways from calling the cops on me, institutionalizing me, and other things. I want to get away from them but my disabilities are disabling me so much that I feel like I can’t get away from them. I don’t have a support network outside of them but I don’t want them in my life so I’m like fighting on my own with no actual irl friends or actual support network to support me. Idk I feel crazy rn I feel like I can’t let them know what’s really going on because it’s been used against me. God I don’t wanna end up in a ward again. I’m so panicked and scared my heart is beating out of control. I haven’t ate or drank for five days either so maybe that’s why? Idk I just want these fucking people out of my life why did God deal me a bad hand.

That's a truly horrifying situation, and I'm so fucking sorry that you're forced to live in such an environment with people who abuse you in this manner. I'm not able to help you resolve this kind of situation, but my heart goes out to you and I'm sending all my love. And I encourage you to eat and drink even though everything feels scary and hopeless, because starvation and dehydration will only ever make a bad situation even worse ❤️

[ramen-lord-baku]

Does Arguebhald / Argie have any background story or lore or interesting traits?

I think they look really really cool and I'm kinda obsessed rn.

I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE ARGIE !! I had a lot of fun with her backstory so djshds

ARGUEBHALD LORE DUMP

Argie is 24 years and is 186 cm tall.

The LANCER ttrpg setting is sci-fi thousands of years into the future and consists of players that are elite mech pilots called Lancers.

IN SHORT: Basically, after her parent's divorce, on top of her neurodivergence and counselor, Arguebhald grew up into someone who isn't capable of caring for people, or anything really. I came up with this because the players other than myself have all mostly good-intentioned characters who want to help people to some extent. Arguebhald is not a LANCER because she wants to do good, she's a lancer because it's the only thing she ever found interesting. She does right/good things purely for the sake of them being the right thing to do and not because she wants to be a good person. She's extremly nosy from " trauma " of her parents hiding everything from her. She wants to know what's going on, where people are going, where they're from and what they're up to, for her own feeling of comfort and safety. She is curious of people, as if they were fun stories, not because she cares about them. She goes along with whatever people around her are doing because she's not bothered enough to care about making decisions. She didn't have a goal in life or ambitions.

the long ramble, it's not very clear i'm sorry:

Personality -Looks high as fuck/kinda out there -Chill and calm, not especially expressive but not a resting bitch face either -Nosy, wants to know what's going on  -Going with the flow, they drift through the days, mind straying away. -Tend to go along with whatever people are doing around her -Can be active in conversations, hang out, they ask questions out of curiosity but not because they care. -Weirdly very intimidating at times -autistic as shit

Beliefs/values

-Does not care about people, but is curious and interested in knowing about some of them.* -Does good things because it is the right thing to do, not because they are a good person -Enjoys taking risks and not knowing what comes next -Cares about harmony and good taste

*They will be pushy if they want to get information about someone if they deem them interesting >ex. If someone states they don't wish for any sort of help, she will not ever bother pushing

Backstory Context:

Argie grew up in a place where every single need was met as they're basic human rights: food, shelter, access to work. She's one weird kid, for her childhood was basically a stale line with no challenge or interest. She couldn't connect with peoples, sucked at getting social clues. But she still used to be happy, or so she thinks. Until one day her parents announced " divorce " overnight, and she was lost. Overnight they stopped sharing things with her or telling her about anything. Life became even dryer and stale and Arguebhald kind of turned off her brain and started drifting through the days.

Overnight her parents took her to another planet- they had to escape, they did something bad, but Argie had no clue what. It was one of the drastic points of her childhood, she realised she never really knew her parents, even before the divorce. She found a bit of thrill on the new place she lived at: basic human rights were not granted, you had to work to survive, she found a challenge.

She started seeing a counselor, one from her school, because the teachers were worried about her not getting along with other kids. He's a weird dude who gave Argie her beliefs and reinforced them: caring only leads to getting hurt, that argie was just fine the way she was. She shouldn't care, because it only leads to bad things, but if she wants to blend in she should still do things because theyre right.

She moves out of her parent's place at 17, lives by herself somewhere, spends most days laying in bed doing nothing, staring at the ceiling, waiting for time to pass. She survives and that's about it. She started gambling, and enjoyed it, the risks were thrilling. She lives on gambled money and odd jobs here and there. Somewhere during that time she enters med school and drops it a few years later because it was too much of a bother.

At 23 years old she ends up joining MSMC, a mech-pilot mercenary company who does shady jobs. During her first mission, she takes a first hit- there's blood, it hurts. She's scared of dying. For the first time in her life, she felt true thrill, and she was FOCUSED on something, for hours on end at that. She was focused on not dying and completing her mission. On her second mission, a tough one, her teammates end up bailing on her and leaving her for dead after getting ambushed. She gets rescued by a member of the Black Ties, and organisation of LANCERS, elite mech pilots. She joins them after proving her worth, as she wants to keep following the path of mech piloting.

Also, enjoy me and my partner being monkeys with a keyboard when we were writing her character sheet:

[wcrriorhearts]

Thoughts about the episode under the cut, click with caution <3

Alicent is really not having a good time in life rn xD I almost feel sorry, because she truly has no one left on her side. Her brother barely knows her, she doesn't know her own youngest son, the middle child is a psychopath, the oldest is s'mores. Helaena tolerates her at best xD poor woman

still, also Alicent once again demonstrating how poorly she knows her own children by dragging poor Helaena out when she knows that Helaena doesn't like strangers, or crowd and that her last experience in the city was abysmal

Helaena my sweet baby girl, you'll probably never leave the Keep again after that. I feel so bad for her. She just wants to play with her crickets

Rhaenyra's political scheming was top notch this episode, love the gossip mongering and the ways she is turning the smallfolk. Also love that the one who fucks Aemond is the one spreading rumors about the Greens xD

Addam claimed Seasmoke ( or rather the other way around ) and I am still entirely indifferent about the bastards

liked the way the Sheepstealer storyline was hinted at

Did we need hallus of Viserys? No. Was I thrilled to see Paddy and get a glimpse of Aemma again? Yes. Aside from that, the Harrenhal storyline is getting dull

what am I supposed to say about the ending? I hated it and I will ignore it on my blog for various reasons. Emma and the actress of Mysaria wanted the scene and got it, but I think it was absolutely idiotic. Loved the hug and the trauma dumping but 1. to me the kiss was mainly Rhaenyra seeking some sort of connection to someone who is currently the only loyal person believing in her, nothing else and 2. it really rubbed me the wrong way because of the timing. Mysaria made herself vulnerable by telling Rhaenyra about how she was sexually exploited from basically everyone in her life and treated like an object and the second she admits she thinks Rhaenyra is worth her trust, Rhaenyra does something with a sexual connotation, which to me felt like objectifying Mysaria in a way again to satisfy her own needs. And that is just gross to me, so I will not acknowledge that in my portrayal, I'm sorry. Don't mind if people do, but it's a no go for me personally.

[amxthystiine]

So uhr I may start trying to at least finish the whole Mainline!Tom - Kairos storyline (yes I have AUs of my lore I am not ok about my OCs man) part of my lore from where I left it off from the lore before and gather all the posts here alongside art of all their designs from different times in lore

Hopefully I don't get burnt out and then just forget like last time

So for now have this

Loredumps themselves rn:

Tom's design pre-first possession/pre running away/pre trauma >:))):

Kairos's design post-body "enhancements":

Alex's design pre-body "enhancements": (I probably could change this later tbh)

Tom's design post-runaway/post prologue/S1/post first trauma event (btw that shadow is an alternate version of himself holy shit it's a long ass story) (yes for some reason the only ref I art was bothered to do of this design was in an attempt the epithet erased style that's a whole other story on its own hhhhhh):

^ And I'm kinda torn on whether this'll be his alter ego design or just his casual clothes and whether I should make another design for the other

And yes, that is him going ham on the crappily drawn saxophone on my banner

[cwarscars-a]

(( i'm really sorry if i've been boring to talk to or a little unresponsive ; i just feel so out of sorts. i've got a tonne of uni work to do cause i'm in my final semester & the grief / family side of things has really been hitting me now. my brain feels like it's in a million places; whenever i sit down to write, i don't write anything. whenever i sit down to do uni work, i end up fucking around with other things.

in terms of conversation, i feel super unapproachable / boring to people at the moment and it's making me feel self conscious in every respect. i see people having fun together and people seem happy and then i'm just sat here alone with a raincloud on my head, like, bleh. i get not wanting to talk to me because of the grief thing but idk, it's just making me not wanna be around online.

my boss was hounding me for work three days after my dad's death & there are people i thought were friends who have either totally ignored me or have been just /weird/ with me about everything. people have talked to me and approached me like i should be entirely fine. and while i want things to be normal and for people to not feel weird around me ( nor do i want to 'trauma-dump' on people ), pretending that i'm just totally okay is a total lie

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i feel self-concious in my writing, myself & like...just everything right now. my brain feels swamped and i feel a little lost. i know this self-doubt / depression is caused by everything going on but, like, it feels as though people don't wanna be around me rn.

idk - the queue is posting so it doesn't matter if i'm around or not, but yeah - i just wanted to say sorry if i'm being a drip on anyone's mood or if people don't wanna chat to me or whatever because i seem off. i am off. i just feel kind of shit ))

[cubertthecube]

Hello! Excuse me for jumping in your DMs, but I'm a little confused about myself and I wanted to ask you a question if that's okay. How did you know you were in a system? Can you tell when someone different fronts? And what does that feel like? I think I may be plural myself and I'm having a hard time understanding what I'm feeling.

You do NOT need to reply to this if this is too invasive or uncomfortable, and if it is, I'm super sorry!

1. How did you know you were in a system

I'm gonna be honest, I got way too high. That's how I found out. If I never smoked weed, I genuinely think I'd still be blissfully unaware.

When I turned 18, my best friend's mom gave me some edibles. Maybe not the best decision, but like free drugs. Obviously, having never consumed weed before, I had no tolerance. This led to me "teleporting" around and feeling like I was floating away.

For a while, I was convinced that I broke my brain because it kept lingering. I was still teleporting. I was still feeling like I was floating away. Then it suddenly hit me that I've always felt like that. Turns out, weed makes me disassociate. I started having a bit of a substance abuse problems when I realized this because, my exact words if I remember correctly, "it already feels like I'm high, I'm just making it so that it feels less weird because now I'm supposed to be high". I looked into it for a while, but was like, "Nahhh, but there aren't any guys in my brain though. I'd KNOW"

And so, once again, I got way too high and someone else fronted that was very much objectively "not me". It was a young child who couldn't talk. Up to this point, me and my friend were making "jokes" that I had it. Like obviously there is more to it than that, and I'm not endorsing drugs. That's just how it worked out for me.

Looking back, there were many warning signs, but I am still sometimes I'm worried that I'm experiencing psychosis because I'm pretty sure I experienced psychosis in middle school, but also I have a tendency to exaggerate things in my head so maybe I was just being normal imaginative thinking that everyone around me wasn't real and that I was dead. Idk idk. (Whoopsie, trauma dump)

But like looking back, there were some clues. I remember having time gaps. Like there is video evidence that I was in a play as a kid and I remember practicing for it, but I also remember being very frustrated that "I practiced all for nothing because every adult in my life just stopped talking about it for some reason" but also maybe that's normal 4 year old stuff.

I also remember in 6th grade being confused why the moment I left science class, I'd not remember science class.

I used to "talk to Jesus" kind of like how I "talk" to the other guys in my head. Idk. Maybe Jesus did that stupid church play. (I have no actual proof that I had a Jesus alter)

When hanging out with people, sometimes I'd feel genuinely out of control with my actions. Like I couldn't stop myself from doing somethings. Or like I'd be doing stuff that I wasn't actively trying to do.

The teleporting thing I mentioned earlier

Being told by my best friend how inconsistent I was. "I thought you hated eggs". It was mostly food. I just chalked that one up to Autism. I chalked most of these things up to Autism.

Sometimes when I "spaced out" I'd have multiple trains of thoughts and I'd randomly come into them.

I'm kind of banking rn, I'm gonna be honest

2. Can you tell when someone different fronts?

Kind of. Sometimes it feels like different moods and the moods have feelings. Sort of. That's what it felt like before I actually knew what was happening. I just assumed it was because I was autistic and masking. Like I noticed I acted distinctly different in social situations, but once again assumed it was masking. And that when I was masking, I was also masking my opinions and feelings.

Now since I'm more aware, it's easier. The three easiest to tell are Klause (that's me), Winter, and Bowie. Bowie can't talk and the thought of talking makes her want to throw up. Technically she can talk, but it makes her anxious. That's pretty easy to figure out. She's also pretty childish.

Winter has more disassociation than everyone else and is just really easy to tell. It's hard to explain.

And I think I might just be biased towards myself. I'm fairly childish, but in an adult way. Me and Winter have been the main fronters recently so Its kind of like If it isn't him, it's probably me. Our friend is honestly better at telling than us.

There are two main kind of switches. Possessive and nonpossesive. Ours are nonpossesive. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's more like there is a single consciousness but it morphs into who's fronting. There's still consciousness, though.

3. What does it feel like?

This one is kind of a hard one since I've lived with it for basically my whole life that I can remember. It's kinda like asking what being Autistic feels like I guess.

It depends on who it is.

I genuinely can't explain this super well. But some of the alters have specific vibes almost? Like one of them feels like a nostalgic smell I can never place. I can't remember which one does this because I'm super sleepy. It's 3 AM for me and I was moving. I was typing this in-between that so if it's disjointed I'm really sorry. I like answering questions and maybe you'll get a different view point from someone else next time Lol.

-Klause

Also don't worry about it being invasive or uncomfortable. I like being asked questions

[onlyjaeyun]

Zadie the loml I cannot with Jay being stupid anymore (I totally can, I am out on the streets looking for stupid Jay) your updates are killing me and I cannot stop reading, yesterday night you updated at like 2 a.m. and I kid you not I screamed so loud at Jay's notes my sister woke up next to me and then I had to give her a rundown of what I was reading and she bonked me on the head before going back to sleep, but that aside I'm so excited for the angst. I love the pace at which you're building the story even though it's killing me because I'm seriously so tired of SMAUs practically dumping all trauma 35 chapters in all together with little to no foreshadowing earlier except for vague/cryptic bs where the trauma may as well be their lactose intolerance (sorry, I don't mean to sound mean or put others down I'm just saying I really really prefer the way you're writing this in). Also I'm really sorry if this is too much but do you have a set time for the update tonight?

HQJDNWLF THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH BABY 🥺🥺🥺🤍 this made me so happy and i hope you know how grateful i am that you took the tkme out of your day to send me this, pls take all my love and kisses rn

[symptoms-syndrome]

Ok here's the tea

So like, it's a server of entirely queer Koreans. And like a MONTH ago, there was sort of a fire because someone said smth like "Korean Christians are all inherently bad people," and I was like "Hey maybe we should avoid making broad generalizations about people who are like. In the server with us. You know, to be respectful." And I was real nice about it and all that jazz. Because I'm a real patient person TBH. I have a pretty high tolerance for Bullshittery. Anyway it turned into a whole Thing because there's like two or three people in there who think they're the shit dot net because they learned fun buzzwords from twitter like "strawmanning" and "gaslighting" and "respectability politics." Which is extremely frustrating because it's absolutely impossible to have a reasonable conversation with them because they do not in any way shape or form actually know what these words mean. One person, completely out of the blue, chimed in with "are we not allowed to complain about white people then?" and then two messages later said that I was strawmanning for making a comparison (I said that while Christianity may have roots in white supremacy, that does not make all those who participate in it inherently white supremacist, similarly to how the beauty industry is also rooted in white supremacy but not all those who wear makeup deserve to get shit for it.) Which is insane bc bestie you're the one strawmanning here.

Anyway it eventually died down (after that person wrote a whole big essay about how they're being silenced and tone policed etc etc etc despite not even being the person who made the original comment, only chiming in to add shit to the fire.) But then yesterday someone who I think is new randomly replies to some of these, again, MONTH old comments, which sparks an outburst of shit again. And this happened last time, but like. The "what about complaining about white people" person was like "um well some of us don't have positive relationships with whiteness/christianity" in a real passive aggressive way and I'm like. Seeeeeeething RN. Like sorry I didn't trauma dump in graphic detail like you did but seriously what a dick fucking move to just assume that I looooooove whiteness and Christianity just because I told you to be mindful that there are some people who are Christian in the server. Like I did not even say you can't criticize Christianity. Anyway this bitch is going offfffff about how the server is sooo unsafe for POC and sooo white and this would never happen in a Black/brown led server (which is insane given that like. First off that's kinda racist of u for a lot of reasons but a lot of the mod team is literally brown in addition to the Korean so like.) and it's like girlie if u think it's so awful here why are u still here. Like I've been in servers where the vibe is rancid and I hate the way it's moderated so I simply Don't Stay in those servers??? What's ur fucking problem???

But anyway they're all like "uwu you simply wouldn't understand, I need a space specifically for People Like Me who have faced racism and Christian oppression" and I'm like GIRLIE I would also be part of those spaces so like!!! Ur not gonna be free from me!!!

and likeeeeeeee not to invalidate anyone's trauma here but their trauma they dumped was fairly middle of the road in terms of like, religious trauma so I COULD absolutely win this pissing contest if I also chose to traumadump I just do not want to at all and also morally disagree with doing so so like. I won't. But I am like. Committing acts of violence mentally RN like girlie what the hell fuck is wrong with you.

[abri-chan]

Chapter 36, Sadistic Beauty BL

If I were Minho and I just woke up from my coma to see hobbo-looking WK shouting at me, I would be so pissed and tell him to GTFO and look presentable/put some effort. Is it not enough the first face I see is yours, but you look like shit, even worse than I do, and I have been in a coma for who knows how long!

In a way, how dare WK make this about himself again, no I would not be happy to see how tired and unkempt you look, as though not putting effort around my comatose body (bc you so couldn't leave my side, could you?) shows how much you love me, when it's your own fucking fault I attempted to take my own life.

----

Idk the translation yet, but the least WK can do is let Minho free. Give him all your money and let him go. Minho has been in a coma but what is your excuse for looking like shit WK?

Update: So WK asks Minho to leave his house, doesn't even say sorry to the man for causing him to commit suicide, Minho instead has to say thank you for saving my life? I understand the stress of it all, but there's nicer ways to go about this: apologize, arrange some money for Minho (if he doesn't want to touch the money, he can give that money to charity for all you care), and so on so Minho can recover. Otherwise, where the fuck will he go after you isolated him and cut off any attempt he made at working? He has no savings and no house to go to. Why drop him like a sack of potatoes, especially since this is all your fault?

Furthermore, making Minho feel guilt for being suicidal is such a stab to the back, since he's vulnerable right now mentally and where he needs the most support emotionally. Yet, you blame Minho for how you cannot think of anything else than his breathless body, and all the words you told him about always being with him and how you only could love him cannot surpass that image? (So no statue of liberty, you bitch?) Minho has such grounds to sue WK's and on so many criminal charges that WK's rich mommy and daddy better be willing to open up their wallets. (I hope you paid the hospital fees at least, and didn't dump Minho on the Korean taxpayers to care for... Really this man can't get out of his mom's shadow and it's all about him him him, and it's all words but he never acts on his words-- he presumably has the right emotions but lacks the action part to materialize his love.)

I'm kinda happy for Minho also dragging his ass for looking unshaved and aged in this one, and making him mad. I can see WK still has anger issues, but he's mellowing out. I don't want to judge anyone's mental health rn bc they both went through trauma, but I feel less empathy for WK bc this was all his fault, and he doesn't step up to his promise to Minho, making a guy who was just suicidal feel alone once more; why is WK such a thot that acts in the moment and doesn't think the consequences of what he says. He most definitely will regret it.

Minho: I love you now

WK: get out of my house, bye

[tellywoodtrash]

Hi TT. I'm a mess. Forcing myself to study for an exam I dont want to give. I just want to get married and sit at home🙂🙃(terrible example for feminism ik). But middle class family se hu tho job ke bina koi shaadi nahi karega. I don't want to study, don't want to compromise either,my mind is a jumbled mess rn and I don't have a single clue on what I'm doing. I feel like I've failed my mom who's a single parent who's working so hard to give this life to me. Sorry for the trauma dump lol.

Hi friend,

God I wanna give you a huge hug. Coz I've been there. Trust me, a lot of us, even the most rabid of feminists have felt the "ughhhhh what's the point, I should just get married" thing. And it's not a wrong thought; it's just a symptom of the larger issue at hand. That you feel powerless currently, pressured into something you don't want, so why not just go for the most extreme nuclear option on that path. You're free to want to be a housewife (feminism is about choice), but don't think that it's some easy way out of what you're feeling now just because you don't have to do a "job". It's just as backbreaking work (more, I'd argue) as you'll do in a workplace, but with no pay/progress; and sadly, very undervalued in today's patriarchal capitalist society.

I think the biggest problem rn is that you aren't interested in the field you're being pushed into. Of course you won't feel like succeeding at something you don't care for. If you assess the success of a fish by how it flies, it obviously will fail. You need to figure out what your strengths and interests are, and move towards a career in those. And trust me, don't think it's "too late" now (you sound like you're in your early twenties perhaps?) I got two wholeass degrees specialising in marketing before I realised how much I hate capitalism and consumerism and tricking people into spending money by selling lies, and couldn't fucking do it without having a breakdown every single day. I quit my job and moved to a whole other country with no clue, only to take up a random poles-apart-from-my-field job that pays not even half of what I used to earn (but gives me sososososososoooo much more mental peace.) That too all this at the age of 30. It's never too late to try a different path, if you choose so.

If by chance you don't feel safe to do that, and that's perfectly understandable; there's considerable risk to be taken and you need proper financial and emotional support as you're figuring things out (which I was vvvv privileged to have), you'll have to stay in this field for the near foreseeable future. It's fine, you can just cultivate an attitude that yeah this field sucks, but it's just something you do to make money. In today's world, people are often defined by the job title they hold, and often make it their whole personality, but it's all bullshit. Not everyone has to be "passionate" about their career. A job is just a tiny tiny part of us; we provide a service for a set number of hours a day so that we can fund the rest of our life, the parts that we actually love. Like acquiring and taking care of animals, and buying art supplies or books or tickets to a concert/movie/country we wanna see, subscriptions to streaming services to watch all the obscure media you fancy etc. Just see it that way and turn off any emotional attachments to work. It's just something you do to make money and that's it. And when you figure what really makes you tick and how you can earn the money you need without being so goddamn miserable for 10 hours a day, start making your move to a job that's more aligned to your interests and values.

I know this is a lot and it feels very overwhelming right now, but please know that this whole mess is temporary. You will eventually figure something out. I would suggest you talk to your support group about how you're feeling and ask them suggestions on how to proceed. Please know I'm always rooting for you no matter what you choose, and hope you find your peace soon! 💗💗💗

[muzzled-kelevra]

Hi! I'm sorry to come to you like this; I think I kind of trauma dumped on this blog quite a while ago, but then it sort of disappeared for me, like Tumblr wouldn't let me click on it? But now it's back and I just want to preface this by saying that I hope you're doing well! It's good to see you again (even tho you don't know me lol) and uh, I'm not sure what else to say

I have questions but now I don't really want to ruin this kind-of positive(?) ask with it, so I'll.. put a TW? And if you don't want to reply you can just screenshot the top half and respond to that instead and then delete this. Yeah? Yeah

Tw // maybe CSA (?) <- kind of in detail , Incest , sexual relations between minors , unsure what else to tag this as

So , like when I was younger (probably 7-9 ?? 9. 9 is more accurate) me and my cousin used to be really sexual with eachother as a joke( or I thought it was I guess ) but like, I don't know. It's hard to explain why or how it happened but basically he used to dry hump me for some reason and I would just let him. He'd ask me if he could do it usually and I'd say no because it was weird and I felt dirty doing it, but then he'd convince me to do it? I guess? I don't remember ever wanting to do it, I found it odd and dirty and it didn't really do much for me, I'd just sit there and let him do it really. But like, I don't know. It feels weird because it feels like it was done without my consent but at the same time he was younger than me and I didn't really try to stop him

I'll be honest I usually try forget about it because the memory disgusts me, how could I have a relationship like that with my cousin? I don't understand it but it makes me feel horrible and I don't even think he remembers it, at least he doesn't act like he does

I had my blog set to private for a while since I had been debating for a bit whether to delete my account or not. But I decided to bring it back, at least for now.

And I'm happy to see people are comfortable here; welcome back! Ditto to you, as I hope you've been well.

I'm sorry you went through that.

Children tend to find interesting and sometimes, and unfortunately, negative coping mechanisms for things they're going through. My assumption in this situation is that perhaps your cousin did it to relieve something, or you, who knows. That's slightly speaking from experience though since I also have a cousin who was once "close" with me.

Anywho, even if it was joking or messing around, it can still be traumatizing! Kid brains are weird sponges; even small situations can be sensitive. And sometimes people get delayed trauma. Something that didn't seem so bad then can become trauma later. And just because you didn't stop him doesn't mean you gave consent. It's kind of a grey area but if you feel violated then your feelings are completely valid.

When it comes to feeling like those memories are gross, you could try to move on and forget them, but if it's not that easy, try writing it down, maybe that could help. Please don't push yourself or retraumatize yourself though.

I'm not really sure what else to say but I hope at least some of this helps! Sorry if it sounds like a half reply I'm very tired rn

If you want to hear my experience that's kinda similar and how I try to recover from it, I'd be open to telling. It doesn't really bother me anymore and if it helps you feel seen or not so alone then just lmk 🤷

Also, if you're wondering what to label it as, you could refer to it as COCSA or incest, I think? I've referred to it as "covert incest" but that might not be the same thing I haven't researched much into that one