#sparkly-gremlin

[gimmethatagustd]

Hi? You’re back??? I just noticed 😭 I’m originally the annoying flutterbysnowflakes but I changed my handle but WHAT OMG UR BACK Y DIDNT I KNO

was there a surprise party waiting 4 u in here or wat

ayyyy i like the new handle! i always say i'm just a lil gremlin on the internet, so i excitedly welcome more gremlins

no surprise party lolll. i started to feel bad about deleting everything, and i was kinda nostalgic, so i decided to start reposting my fics on here. and i promise i won't crash out and delete them again 🥴

[senjutsunade]

"--And then she dumped her sticky rice on my head." Minato explains, tan digits still digging the aforementioned grains from his bangs, "I don't get it Tsunade ane, all I said was that we could talk later." The soft clink of chopsticks against ceramic bowls and the gentle simmer of broth from the kitchen fill the air around them, a calming backdrop to his frustration. The warm, savory scent of ramen lingers around them as he releases an exasperated sigh.

"Why does Kushina get so angry around me? I'm her friend."

And when, exactly, had she signed up to play therapist?

Tsunade sighed—for the umpteenth, no, the eternity-th time—as she absently stirred the now-soggy noodles in her bowl. The ramen had gone cold. Typical.

First, there’d been Kushina. Storming into her room last night like a Category Five whirlwind—hair wild, voice louder.

Tsunade, in a moment of unprecedented idiocy, had asked, what happened?

There had been screeching. Swearing. A few words she was fairly certain weren’t real words, just explosive syllables hurled from a redhead with murder in her eyes. Something about sea urchins—code, obviously, for that glittering blond fool—and then more yelling. And finally, a door slammed with such force it rattled the windows.

Joy.

And now? Now she had him across the table, looking about as dejected as a kicked puppy. Their weekly Wednesday lunch. When had that even become a routine? She couldn’t recall ever agreeing to it. One day he’d just started showing up with dango and that irritatingly polite smile. And somehow… she hadn’t thrown him out.

Pity.

“Well, you’re an idiot,” she said flatly, not even bothering to dress it up.

It wasn’t that she didn’t try—no, wait, it was exactly that. She didn’t try. Because there was no point. Half the village—hell, anyone with a single working braincell—knew Uzumaki Kushina had been hopelessly, stupidly in love with this golden-haired menace for years. Years.

Even Orochimaru had figured it out. She’d walked in on the snake once, telling Kushina, in his own charming sociopathic way, that she ought to redirect her affections toward a creature with more functioning neurons. Possibly a stone.

And yet here he sat. Clueless. Blindingly bright. Aggravating.

Tsunade shook her head slowly, fighting the urge to pour her sake into her soup just to get through the rest of this conversation.

“Jiraiya has clearly failed you,” she muttered. “Which, I admit, should bring me comfort. Instead, I’m just—” she waved her chopsticks vaguely, “—irritated. Somehow.”

Because now it was her problem.

If he was looking to her for guidance, advice, or the miracle of basic emotional intelligence… he was a bigger fool than even she thought.

And that, frankly, was saying something.

[meiko333]

Monster High Icons

Like and/or reblog if you save/use

[trollbreak]

heehoo and aurrel neow!!! /lh

Ouh u pick an interesting pair!!! This going under cut bc teehee details to build to the Pondering. Also this is all very train of thought due to the heehoo Lore so :P

SO UM!!! First up, some things abt Heehoo our lad! And Boohoo, who’s um. Kind of inherently tied to him! They used to be the same clown. Teehee sometimes ur church worships eldritch things and sometimes u do weird magic shit that makes one person two. And it’s a whole thing!! Like um. With Gedian and Echo it was. Less than great in the end. But Heehoo and Boohoo had a great go of it!! They’re besties and holding hands and siblings and heehoo will kill u a million times if u try to hurt boohoo and boohoo will send a god after u for the reverse. They’re silly little clowns together!!! Smth smth comedy and tragedy masks, smth smth two sides of a coin, I love them in short

NOW!! I’m gonna face this as like, just swapping Heehoo and aurrel, rather than the person that was there before Heehoo and boohoo, bc um. I don’t have the braincells to make aurrel 2 guys rn lmao

SO UM!!! The base person would ofc b very different. But also? Aurrel is an ass. Even when he cares someone. He’d um. Be mean to boohoo without thinking abt it and it would Crush him Every Time that boohoo is so niceys kind and 🥺 until he like. Chilled out. He’s still very bitey tho, there’s just less baring teeth beforehand. U get faces and rude words when he’s angry and in a Mood as he is, but as a clown? He’d be very >:3 until he’s actively trying to murder u. Also, by VIRTUE of clownness, he would actually do murder!! Like he doesn’t actually do that as a Revant!! He feels like shit if he hurts someone too bad!! But um. He’d be. Violently protective of boohoo, and that would be a very easy way for him to just be. Very violent in general. Dudes living up to the murder clown image and then some. Sir please stop bringing folks to church just to murder them with your teeth, ur scaring the hoes.

He would eventually mellow out a little with time! …Eventually. And only a little. He um. Would get evil abt it tho. I think he’d dip from the church he grew up in the Second that the Gaze wound up as the host for their resident horrorterror, bc he’s like. Wtf, you’re nice. This isn’t how this shits supposed to work. Fuck off. He’d go kind of just churchless after that, and just um. Would do a lot of murder till he got accepted into the fleet to do cullings for a reason beyond ‘i wanna’ again. Dude grows up to be malicious and fucked up abt it. His thing abt body horror is a point of shame, and um. He goes exposure therapy abt it by being more fucked up. Bestie that’s not healthy. Boohoo is um. Going to therapy abt how she’s. A little glad he left. Dude got scary.

HEEHOO THO!!! Um. He’s still silly little guy :3 but now he’s Ferret instead of Corgi and he go BOING!!! I think he’s still doesn’t really talk much bc he doesn’t have much to say! But he makes a LOT of noises sometimes. Also: fidget toy collection. Cargo pants of em. And now he doesn’t do any murder mostly!!! Not unless someone else starts it for suresies. I think Junie def adopts him quicker, due to the hes more roam around and hang out with random folks. And they’re climbing into places they shouldn’t together!!! Please imagine for me junie and Heehoo Revant sat on a rooftop together. Heehoo is on a box or smth so he can kicky his feet. Are u imagining it for me? He’s so fucking ^-^. He’s also very much involved in rebel activity but shhh we don’t worry about thaaaaat, what he’s got going on with Bill is his business, we don’t need to knooooowwwww-

[hrnngsoup]

Do you think batman would be an honorary furry at the furry conventions

[fonkeloog]

DRESS!!!!! IS HERE!!!!! VERY PRETTY!!!!!! (Excuse the bad quality and the ugly crop, I'd like my face to stay off of tumblr)

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

My mother’s cousin’s daughter has this phone case and I was. Wow. Sparkly. Sparkles move. So pretty. Much sparkles. Enchanted sparkles. Whoa

[missrosegold]

I'm going to a Renaissance fair with my boyfriend and his buddies tomorrow purely on a whim. Never been to one, so I have no idea what to expect, but will keep everyone posted!

[andr0leda]

not to fiance post on main but. every time my engagement ring hits something my soul exits my body

[senjutsunade]

"If chakra has its limitations then--"

How do you manage to heal wounds? How come Nawaki grew shrubs out of his palm? How did Kushina manage to change her chakra through fuuin? What about the thing he read about nature chakra and sages?

"How come it seems like sensei has an endless supply of it?" Curious blues stare at her from his spot on the tatami while fingers traced a pattern on its surface. "And Nawaki nii told me you could do anything with it as long as its in the right amount and with the perfect control--"

Cue pause. The silence is meant to prompt the Senju heiress into answering his question but since the six year old wasn't really as patient as everyone thought he was--

"Why is that Tsunade ane?"

An eyebrow twitch.

Why was this gremlin clinging to her recently? She didn't get it.

Tsunade had the uncanny ability to terrify most children. At least the ones that didn't share her last name - nothing she did seemed to scared Nawaki.

And now...

She scowled at the Namikaze sitting across from her. Why was he in her house? So early at that? Ruining her breakfast?

Her chopsticks snapped close to his face in a rather threatening manner. All the fool did was blink.

Why?

Sullen, the Senju poked at her Tamagoyaki, imagining shoving the head of the grilled fish on the table in the brats mouth.

An amused snort before realizing her grandmother would no approve. So a sigh.

"And why are you asking me? Your sensei is the one who gets paid to answer annoying questions."

A pause. Another poke as if the act would make the dd dish more appetizing.

"Why are you here, again?"

__

@minaa-munch

[iydiamartinx]

THE TODD-LER PROBLEM

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader ft. batfam

divider by: cafekitsune & omi-resources word count: 2.9k synopsis: Jason gets hit with a magical regression spell during a mission and ends up… five years old. Still foul-mouthed. Still somehow armed. a/n: Don't ask me how or why I wrote this, it just happened... warning: This is utterly unhinged, its a crack fic

There were many things you expected when you opened your apartment door at 3 a.m.

Your boyfriend, Jason Todd, in full gear. Shrunken to approximately three feet tall. And trying to pick your lock with a paperclip. was not one of them.

You blinked once. Twice. “…Jason?”

The tiny figure looked up, scowling, with his tiny leather jacket zipped to the chin and a modified red helmet under one arm. His helmet was clearly a custom fit because you were almost certain someone on the team had taken the time to resize his gear. Probably Tim. Or Alfred. Or Jason even himself after he’d been cursed into a fun-sized menace.

He tilted his head. “Took you long enough.”

You stared. “You’re three feet tall.”

“Yeah?” he snapped, voice high-pitched but filled with all the rage of a war vet denied his nap. “Well you’re late I've been knockin' forever! an’ I’m cold, and some guy in a sparkly cape turned me into a—” he waved a tiny hand wildly— “a frickin’ gremlin!”

You stared in mild horror.

“I mean child!” he corrected, stomping past your legs and into your apartment like he owned it. “A frickin’ child. I have to use a stool to pee. I’m livin’ in hell.”

“Excuse me—”

He pushed past your legs like an angry little linebacker. “Also, someone tried to feed me carrots at the manor. Carrots. Like I’m a damn rabbit. I had to escape.”

“Jason, are you seriously—”

“—And Alfred was this close to making me take a bubble bath.”

You raised a brow. “You love bubble baths.”

“Adult me loves them. Toddler me has dignity.”

You shut the door with a sigh, already regretting every life choice that had led to this moment. “Fine. One night. But if you pee on anything, I’m calling Bruce.”

30 MINUTES IN...

You stared at the miniature version of Jason Todd standing dead center in your apartment. You still hadn’t gotten over the fact he was now a child.

He stood with his arms crossed. Eyebrows furrowed. Scowling so hard his little nose scrunched up. The resized red helmet was sitting crookedly on his head, and somehow, somehow, he was still wearing a tiny leather jacket like it was battle armor.

“Jason,” you said slowly, kneeling down to his eye level, “where did you get the gun?”

His eyes narrowed, suspiciously smug. “Trade secret.”

“Jason.”

He pouted. “You left your sock drawer unlocked.”

You blinked. “My sock drawer doesn’t have—”

Realization dawned.

You groaned, standing up and rubbing your face. “You hid weapons in my sock drawer?”

“Of course I did,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What if you got mugged doing laundry?”

You turned on your heel, already pulling out your phone. “Zatanna needs to reverse this spell immediately. How is his five year old self more dangerous than his adult one.” You muttered to yourself. 

From behind you, Jason stomped his tiny boot. “I am not five! I’m five-and-a-half!”

You didn’t even look back. You just sighed and started texting Alfred for backup.

And possibly restraints.

Or duct tape.

Maybe both.

ONE HOUR IN...

You found him in the kitchen standing on the counter—barefoot, wild-haired, and determined. His tiny arms were stretched high above his head, fingers pawing at the top shelf with the sheer willpower of someone who believed they could reach it if they just tried hard enough.

“What,” you asked slowly, “are you doing?”

“I want Oreos,” he said, like it was obvious.

“There are Goldfish crackers right there,” you offered, gesturing to the open box on the counter beside him.

He looked at you like you’d insulted his ancestors. “I’m not a toddler. I have standards.”

He took them with both hands, giving you a small, pointed sniff of derision—as if your earlier suggestion of Goldfish had been not just offensive, but a personally insult.

Then, without another word, he hopped off the counter and disappeared down the hallway like a sugar-fueled cryptid preparing for war.

TWO HOURS IN...

You finally managed to corral him in front of the television, queued up some harmless cartoon with talking animals, and tiptoed into the kitchen to make yourself a much-needed snack.

When you came back, the cartoon was gone and you found him watching John Wick 3 with unblinking intensity.

You stared in horror. “You are not allowed to watch this.”

He didn’t flinch. “Too late.”

You snatched the remote from the armrest. “You’re five.”

“Five an’ a half!” he shouted, voice pitching up in outrage. “An’ I know all ‘bout vengeance! I lived it! Lemme watch Keanu!”

“No.”

“I will bite you.”

“You already did!”

He smiled. “And I’d do it again.”

You lunged for the remote.

He let out a feral shriek. The sound pierced the air like a banshee’s war cry. There was a flurry of motion, limbs, and one elbow jabbed directly into your ribcage. The remote went flying.

Somehow… you lost.

And there he was, not ten minutes later, curled in a blanket like a smug little gremlin, happily finishing John Wick 3.

You sighed, already pulling out your phone to call in reinforcements.

Alfred picked up on the first ring.

“Please tell me patrol is over,” you whispered, glancing warily toward the living room. “I need backup. Immediate. Preferably armed with sedatives and maybe a priest.”

There was the soft clink of a teacup on saucer before Alfred replied, calm as ever. “Master Grayson and Master Drake should be available in a few hours.”

You groan, “Anyone sooner?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” He said.

You hung up and returned to the living room.

Jason was kicking his feet now, reclined like royalty, humming the John Wick fight music under his breath. Every few seconds he’d mutter something like “yeah, get him, Keanu,” or “double tap, baby,” as if he were part of the director’s commentary.

By the time 300 started, he had risen.

He stood on the couch with all the solemnity of a war general addressing his troops, fists clenched at his sides. Then, with zero warning, he let out a piercing battle cry—“SPARTAAAAAA!”—and began hurling Goldfish crackers across the room like they were flaming javelins.

You didn’t bother trying to stop him.

You just slid slowly down the wall, sat on the floor beside the fridge, and accepted your fate.

THREE HOURS IN...

You were gone for five minutes.

Five.

You’d left him watching Love Island.

He’d finally—finally—fallen asleep, sprawled across the couch. The soft drone of British contestants filled the apartment, and for a precious, fragile moment, there was peace.

Just enough to sneak off for five minutes. That was all the time it took to use the bathroom and splash some cold water on your face in the vain hope that you could survive another hour of this gremlin-sized Gotham menace.

When you returned, Love Island was still playing on the TV and Jason was nowhere in the living room. 

“Jason?” you called out.

You heard a noise come from the kitchen

Your stomach dropped.

You rushed in, skidding to a halt just inside the doorway.

The drawer was open.

That drawer.

The one that held the scissors.

The duct tape.

Your spare burner phone.

And, apparently, your last shred of peace.

You turned around slowly—already feeling the weight of regret in your bones.

Tiny Jason stood proudly in your hallway wearing a cardboard chest plate, duct-taped shoulder pads, and your colander on his head.

He raised a wooden spoon like a sword. “I’m Red Hood 2.0,” he declared in a voice that was both too high-pitched and far too serious. “Call me… Lil’ Death.”

You stared at him in exhausted horror.

“…Where’s the rest of the duct tape?”

He gave a wide, toothy grin.

“In mah hair.”

Of course it was.

FOUR HOURS IN...

Alfred had finally sent backup.

It was Damian.

By that point, you didn’t care—anything to give you ten minutes of silence and the chance to remember what breathing felt like.

And for the first ten minutes, it was peaceful.

Too peaceful.

You froze in the hallway, a familiar sense of foreboding slithering down your spine.

Then came the scream.

“YOU LITTLE DEVIL!”

Tiny battle cries echoed from the living room, followed by the unmistakable clang of steel meeting something very much not steel.

You ran in to find Damian standing on your coffee table, sword in hand, while Toddler Jason swung at his legs with a plastic baseball bat wrapped in duct tape and thumbtacks.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

“He challenged me,” Damian snapped, breath steady as he parried a wild swing with the flat of his blade.

Jason bared his baby teeth, eyes gleaming with chaotic glee. “He tried to steal my Oreos and called me a baby!”

“Because you are,” Damian barked, deflecting another spoon-wrapped strike. “This is undignified!”

“I’m a toddler, you rich goblin!”

You slapped a hand to your forehead. “Jason, drop the bat.”

“NEVER!”

“Damian, he’s five!”

FIVE HOURS IN...

Damian was still on the windowsill, arms crossed, radiating hatred like a heat lamp.

He hadn’t spoken in nearly an hour. Not a single word since the incident—the one where he lost to a sugar-crazed toddler wielding a thumbtack-wrapped baseball bat and unyielding vengeance.

You knew that silence. Knew it too well.

He was plotting something. You just didn’t know what.

Not that you had time to dwell on it—because that was when backup number two finally arrived.

The door swung open and in walked Dick and Tim, both dressed down but wide-eyed, scanning the wreckage of your apartment like first responders to a war zone.

Jason—still pint-sized, still radiating the unholy combination of espresso and anarchy—lit up like a demonic Christmas tree at the sight of them.

“Well, well, look who finally showed up,” he chirped, spinning once in his little leather jacket and cardboard armour. “The Backstreet Boys of Disappointment!”

Dick froze mid-step. “I—what?”

Tim looked at you with the tiredness of a man who’d seen too much. “Is he still feral?”

“Worse,” you muttered. “He’s refueled. He ate three cookies and found my instant espresso jar.”

Dick’s eyes widened. “You gave him caffeine?!”

“I didn’t give him anything! He’s a damn toddler who still retained his lock picking skills!”

Across the room, Jason twirled dramatically and pointed at Tim. “Timmy,” he sing-songed, “wanna play hide and seek? I’ll hide… you seek therapy.”

Tim blinked slowly. “You’ve created a monster.”

You pointed at him with your coffee. “He was with you all when this happened.”

Jason pivoted toward Dick, eyes glinting. “Hey, Disco. How’s that permanent sidekick gig goin’? Still doin’ flips no one asked for?”

Dick narrowed his eyes. “You wanna go, tiny man?”

Jason smirked. “Bring it, Jazz Hands.”

And that’s all it took.

Two minutes later

Jason darted between them like a pinball on fire.

Tim lunged with a blanket like he was trying to trap a wild animal. Jason bit straight through it.

Not metaphorically—actually bit through it.

Dick went in next, trying to cut him off with a broad lunge, but Jason hurled a half-full sippy cup at his face with terrifying accuracy. It burst on contact. Sticky apple juice everywhere.

From the windowsill, Damian observed the descent into madness with narrowed eyes and smug silence. Like an evil cat waiting for the moment to pounce.

He chose his moment well.

With a cry of, “FOR HONOR AND BLOOD!” Damian vaulted from the sill into the fray.

He mostly landed on Tim. But the intent was there.

You stood in the doorway, clutching a first aid kit in one hand and your last shred of sanity in the other. It was unclear which would run out first.

Jason popped up from behind the couch like a goblin jack-in-the-box, eyes gleaming with the unholy thrill of chaos. In one hand, he wielded his modified bat like a sword. In the other, a full roll of duct tape, raised like a grenade.

“I DECLARE A BLOOD FEUD!” he roared.

Tim yelped and ducked just as the tape roll whizzed past his head and smacked into the wall with a dull thunk. “He almost took my eye out!”

“WHO GAVE HIM NEGAN’S BAT?!” Dick yelled, backpedaling fast as Jason swung in his direction with surprising force for someone who barely cleared three feet.

“He made it,” Damian grunted, trying to deflect the strike with a throw pillow.

The swing knocked the pillow clean out of his hands.

In the scramble to dodge the next blow, Dick and Damian collided—feet tangled, limbs flailing—and crashed to the floor in a graceless heap.

“WHO’S THE SIDEKICK NOW, SUCKERS?!” he cackled, arms thrown wide like a gladiator demanding cheers from the crowd.

On the floor below him, Damian and Dick groaned in tandem, still tangled in a heap of limbs and wounded pride.

You stood safely behind the armchair, one hand gripping your phone, filming the chaos. Might as well have some blackmail for later.

“You’re going to regret this when you’re big again,” you warned, deadpan. 

“I’LL REGRET NOTHING!” Jason howled, launching himself into Tim’s back like a rabid possum.

Tim shrieked, flailing. “GET HIM OFF! HE’S IN MY HAIR—HE’S IN MY HAIR!”

“He’s like a feral koala,” Dick muttered, as he untangled himself from Damian.

Jason clung tighter, teeth bared, voice giddy with power. “Say sorry for the replacing me and I’ll only ruin your eyebrows!”

“Are we seriously doing this now?” Tim, flailing, shouted, “I didn’t replace you! You died!”

Everything stopped.

For half a second, the air went dead silent.

“TIM!” you and Dick shouted in unison, horrified.

Jason’s response was to let out a piercing shriek of righteous indignation.

“YOU VOTED ME OFF THE ISLAND!”

“WHAT DAMN ISLAND?!”

From the floor, Dick wheezed, “We need to start a support group.”

Damian rolled his eyes. “You’re all weak.”

“I don’t see you winning against him, demon spawn!” Tim barked, still trying to dislodge Jason from his spine. “You surrendered three minutes in!”

“I did not surrender,” Damian snapped.

Tim finally managed to pry him off with a desperate twist and a shove, sending Jason rolling back onto the couch in a tangle of limbs and laughter.

Everyone froze.

Jason huffed, catching his breath where he lay sprawled on the couch. His curls were tousled, cheeks flushed, eyes glittering with unspent mischief. For one brief, shining moment, it almost looked like the storm had passed.

Dick rose to his feet slowly, warily, hands lifted in surrender.

“Okay,” he said, breathless but hopeful. “Can we finally all just… relax—?”

You took a cautious step forward, narrowing your eyes as you noted the look on his face. “Jason. What are you doing now?”

He turned to you slowly, far too slowly, a smile already creeping onto his face.

Dick glanced over, confused, just in time for Jason to pivot on his heel.

“THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAA!!!”

And then his tiny foot shot up and kicked Dick square in the jewels.

Dick dropped like a sack of bricks, letting out a high-pitched strangled wheeze as he crumpled back onto the floor.

“…Who let him watch 300?” Tim groaned, not even pretending to be surprised anymore.

You winced, trying not to look at Dick who was curled into a fetal position.

Jason raised his arms, victorious. “TONIGHT, WE DINE IN—WHAT’S THAT PLACE WITH CHICKY NUGGIES?!”

“…McDonald’s,” Dick croaked weakly from the floor.

Jason nodded solemnly, his reign unquestioned.

“McDonald’s.”

SIX HOURS IN...

You were exhausted.

The apartment looked like a toy store had exploded. There were still thumbtacks embedded in the coffee table, juice stains on the ceiling, and possibly a spoon lodged in the bookshelf. You didn’t want to know.

The others had practically fled—limping, muttering, and swearing.

And Jason? Jason had finally agreed to get ready for bed after a long, drawn-out battle of wills that involved one timeout, two bribes, and exactly ten minutes of him growling about how “Peter Parker wouldn’t last five minutes in Crime Alley.”

Now, he sat on the couch, arms crossed and sulking in a pair of oversized Spider-Man pajamas—the only ones you’d been able to find. His curls were still slightly matted from duct tape, and there was a Band-Aid on his cheek from another brawl he’d got in with Damian.

He glared at you over the rim of his sippy cup.

“This not over,” he mumbled darkly. “I know where you sleep. I’mma get payback.”

“Sure you will, Jason,” you said, trying not to laugh.

“I’ll put ketchup in your shoes.”

You tucked him in on the couch, pulling the blanket around him as he curled up like a tiny, angry cinnamon roll.

He muttered something else under his breath, unintelligible, mostly grumble. “…Night-night,” he muttered, already half-asleep. 

THE NEXT MORNING...

Jason woke up full-sized, shirtless, confused, and sprawled across your couch.

 He blinked up at the ceiling, brow furrowed, throat dry.

“…What the hell?”

You strolled in, far too cheerful for someone who had survived a toddler warlord just a few hours prior. You tossed your phone into his lap.

You strolled in, tossing a phone into his lap.

“Morning, Lil’ Death. I made a slideshow.”

He looked down at the photos. There he was—pouty, covered in crumbs, mid-battle with his brothers, wearing  cardboard chest plate held together with masking tape and colander strapped to his head like a war crown. One had him dead asleep with his face smashed into a pillow, cuddling a stuffed penguin.

Jason groaned into his hands. “Kill me now.”

“I’d rather show Bruce.”

His head snapped up. “You wouldn’t.”

You grinned. “Wanna bet?”

[yatori-morgana]

This is the struggle. Gratz, tho, anon!!

same jade anon!! he came home after doing rhythmics for only TEN HOURS. i hate it here but sir slippery is in my clutches

(oof, sorry for your fingers but congrats on your slimy lad!)

[dollyswishingwell]

hiii! 🤍 this is my first time requesting, kinda nervous ˶ˊᜊˋ˶ if it’s alright, can i please wish for fluff/comfort with the lads boys x reader who doesn’t like being teased a whole lot? or something like that! i can be pretty sensitive and sometimes their teasing habits just have me like D: thank you ily!!!

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ Don’t tease me

𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 ˙⋆✮ Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, Sylus, Caleb

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 ˙⋆✮ fluff, they’re the bestest boys ever, also same lol i’m so sensitive too

> ࣪𖤐.ᐟ They learn fast

𝙍𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙡 °‧🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

- Rafayel loves to playfully tease, but he’s also the fastest to realize when he’s gone too far.

- Like when he called your pout “your gremlin face” and you went silent? You didn’t even glare. You just quietly turned away, hugging your plushie.

- Cue immediate panic. “Wait wait, you don’t actually think you’re a gremlin? Baby? Pearlie? My precious bride?”

- He jumps into your arms like a dramatic cat, peppering your cheeks with kisses and baby talk. “No no no, you’re my moon! My baby princess cupcake sugar blossom!”

- He makes you a sparkly apology collage with glitter, stickers, and hearts that says “I’m Sorry You’re The Cutest Human Ever And I Love You.”

- From then on, he calls you his “fragile doll” and treats you with the gentleness of a priceless porcelain angel.

𝙕𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚 ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎ ‧*❆ ₊⋆

- Zayne’s teasing is usually dry and subtle, like an arched brow or low chuckle when you whine about needing help with your necklace. But the moment he sees your expression drop? Your lip wobble even a little?

- His entire body goes still. “Sweetheart…” His voice softens instantly, kneeling down in front of you like he just committed a sin.

- Guilt hits him hard. He immediately holds your hands in his gloved ones, thumb stroking soothing circles over your knuckles. “I wasn’t making fun of you. I just like seeing you pampered. You deserve it, always.”

- For the rest of the day, he won’t let you lift a finger. You get tucked into his lap during his break. He feeds you bites of expensive desserts. He massages your feet while whispering, “Never let me upset you again. I hate it. I’m supposed to be your safe place.”

𝙓𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

- Xavier doesn’t mean to tease at all. He just says things strangely. Like when he tilted his head and said, “Why are you making that face? You look like a confused shrimp,” while you tried to pick an outfit.

- you blinked at him. D: Shrimp??

- When he realizes you’re genuinely upset, your eyes glassy, your hands nervously clutching your sleeves, his entire soul crumples.

- He scoots closer, arms wrapping tightly around your waist, hiding his face in your neck with a muffled, “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re so cute I forget to make sense.”

- After that, he starts using “baby, sweetheart, beautiful, angel” instead of weird metaphors. He even writes a sticky note on his mirror: “No shrimp. Only princess.” :D

𝙎𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙨 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𓅨⋆｡°✩

- Oh, Sylus teases a lot. He lives for your reactions. Little smirks, eyebrow waggles, “You’re really crying because I said your heels were dramatic?”

- But when your breath catches and you go quiet, not in the bratty way, but in the hurt way? His confidence shatters. He can practically hear glass breaking in his mind.

- “Okay, shit, okay, no. Don’t do that face. Baby.” He scoops you up immediately, voice low and urgent. He carries you to the silk-draped bed and lays you down like glass.

- Kisses your forehead. “I wasn’t laughing at you. You’re my everything. I’m just so used to you being adorable I forget how delicate your heart is.” (trust me he’s just getting cuteness aggression)

- He buys you a custom necklace that says “Handle With Care” in diamonds (as a joke). Wears the matching one that says “Her Protector.” He’s never teased you harshly again

𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙗 ⋆｡ ‧˚ʚ🍎ɞ˚‧｡ ⋆

- Caleb doesn’t even like teasing. He’s very matter-of-fact, but sometimes when you’re clumsy or dramatic, he slips up with a teasing “You’re such a brat, pips,” under his breath with his signature head tilt.

- And when your eyes well up? His heart snaps. Colonel mode: OFF. husband mode: ACTIVATED.

- He drops everything, crouches down, and cups your cheeks so tenderly it makes you cry harder.

- “No. No, hey. You’re not a brat. You’re my wife. My girl. My soft little angel. I didn’t mean that.”

- Makes you hot chocolate with extra cream and mini marshmallows, puts you in his lap, and wraps a fluffy throw blanket around you both.

- Strokes your hair and whispers, “You’re not sensitive. You’re precious. I’ll be more careful, always.” Never calls you brat again, only “princess”, “sweetheart”, “pips”.

[stevesgother]

From Now On (Our Troubles Will Be Miles Away) I S.H

Pairing - Dad!Steve Harrington x Fem!Mom!Reader

WC - 1.5k

Summary - enjoy some christmas stevie with your toddler, and a special announcement… <3

AN - oops! It appears i can’t stop writing steve as a father. y’all can thank mady @skeltn for that one. 

With love- Emma

The soft, staticky sounds of Frank Sinatra’s ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ emanate from the thrifted record player in the living room; drifting into the kitchen where you’re rolling cookie dough and wincing as your toddler tries to ‘help’ by adding way too much food coloring into the bowls of frosting.

Over the sounds of nostalgic Christmas tunes, you hear a small crash and the cursing of your husband as he attempts to wrap your eight foot tree in garland.

“You okay, honey?” You shout from where you stand at the counter.

A pause, “Yeah, I’m just–ugh these fuc–”

“Steve!--”

“Fudging lights–” he corrects, “they’re all tangled. I’ve been working at them for, like, twenty minutes,”

“Let me get these cookies in the oven, Ellie and I will come help,” you call back.

More grumbling can be heard echoing from the other room as your daughter, Eleanor, is rummaging through your small container of cookie cutters, eventually giving up and deciding that it would simply be easier to dump all of them out onto the floor.

Her pudgy little hands grab one that's shaped like santa in a sleigh as she declares,

 “I do this one,”

“Do you want mommy’s help or do you got it by yourself?”

She doesn’t respond but clumsily presses the stencil into the floured dough. It comes out a little wonky, but you don’t mind, you aren’t going for perfection. Steve will have eaten them all within the next few hours, anyway.

Speak of the devil, “How are my girls doin’?” he saunters over to you, slightly sweaty from the exertion of decorating the tree and presses a kiss to both yours and Ellie’s cheeks.

When he sees Eleanor’s handiwork, he gasps, “Ellie, baby, these are beautiful!” He fawns over the barely recognizable shapes on the baking sheet like they’re the most magnificent thing he’s ever seen in his whole life.

Ellie can tell he’s pleased with her and starts to giggle with her sticky hands over her mouth. You wisely chose a recipe that didn’t call for eggs, knowing your three-year-old was bound to ingest the raw dough at some point during the process.

Now that Steve’s in the room though, she conveniently decides she’s done helping and motions with her arms for her dad to pick her up. He does so without hesitation, even though she’s covered in frosting and flour, easily lifting her from where she stands in just an oversized tee on a step ladder against the cabinets.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up, huh? Give mommy a break,” he looks pleadingly to you, “Can you please try to untangle the lights while I’m gone?” And how could you say no when he looks so pretty and asks so nicely?

◞◟·̩͙  ͜  ˳꣑୧ ͜  ◞◟·̩͙◟

By the time you’re finally done unraveling and applying a mess of sparkly bulbs and shiny tinsel to your Christmas tree, Ellie comes barreling out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped around her and Steve hot on her tail. Miniature wet footprints mark a path from the bathroom door all the way to the couch, and it doesn’t take a scientist to figure out who the culprit is.

“Eleanor Rose!” He yells through gritted teeth, solely because he’s fighting a smile.

You laugh boisterously as you watch your grown husband chase after a toddler in an uncomfortable crouched position that looks ridiculous displayed on someone his size. It’s a sight for sore eyes.

“Hey! It’s not funny!” Now his feigned frustration is directed towards you, “Are you just gonna stand there and laugh or are you gonna help me catch this gremlin?!”

As it turns out, he doesn’t need help after all. When Ellie reaches the couch, she realizes she has nowhere left to turn and succumbs to a fit of giggles on the fluffy cushions. She’s red in the face and certainly not dry, but you can’t find it in yourself to be annoyed. Your couch might be a little soggy, your floor might be a little slippery, and Steve might be absolutely exhausted, but you don’t dare dream of your life looking any differently than this.

Steve’s playing Tickle Monster with Ellie when you realize she still needs her pajamas on.

“You wanna get her dressed or shall I?” You ask him over your daughter’s squealing.

“Oh, take her, please,” you can tell he’s teasing though. If you really wanted, Steve would let you lounge in your bathrobe all day– reading Cosmos and drinking iced tea while he took care of Ellie. He’s in his element when he’s spending time with her. Even when you were just silly teenagers in love, you’d never seen him so fulfilled as he is now.

That sentiment is the only reason why you don’t feel wracked with nerves over the news you’re about to deliver him.

◞◟·̩͙  ͜  ˳꣑୧ ͜  ◞◟·̩͙◟

Steve’s putting the last of the ornaments on the tree when Ellie reappears from her bedroom with a huge smile plastered to her face. She careens into his shins and he stumbles a little with the unexpected force.

“Hi, peanut!” He grunts a little when he picks her up. You follow suit, wearing the matching pajamas Steve had picked out at Sears for everyone last weekend.

“Did you get your jammies–?” His eyebrows knit together, puzzled, as he realizes he doesn’t recognize the top she has on as the one he bought for you all to wear tonight.

“Babe, why didn’t you put her in the–”

It's then that he catches the words printed on shirt in bold, pink letters,

‘Big Sister.’

Once the initial confusion passes, his eyes immediately well with tears and his features soften like butter.

“What? He asks in that quiet, wobbly voice you’d only ever heard him use a handful of times.

“Surprise,” you respond timidly with your hands out in an almost-shrug.

He sets Eleanor down as gently as he can while also rushing to your side. He embraces you so tight it nearly knocks the wind out of you. When he lets up, he still doesn’t let you go far as he cups your face in both of his warm hands.

“How long have you known?”

“A week or so,” you shrug.

“Baby, I can’t believe this!” his quiet, shocked demeanor quickly morphs into something more like excited giddiness and he’s practically jumping up and down now.

“Oh my God!” He picks Ellie up and swings her around by her armpits before smacking kisses all over her tiny face. You know she’s still a bit too young to properly comprehend the gravity of the announcement, but she’s just so happy because her dad’s so happy.

“Ellie Bear! Mommy’s having a baby!” He holds her by her torso and gives her a light shake, she just throws her head back and laughs, not a clue what’s got him so worked up. With her belly exposed, he blows a raspberry on the exposed skin.

You make your way back to his side and engulf them both in a hug. Your perfect little family of three, soon to be four, and you couldn’t be more content than you are in this moment.

◞◟·̩͙  ͜  ˳꣑୧ ͜  ◞◟·̩͙◟

Two hours and one Christmas TV special later, Ellie is snuggled tight to Steve’s chest, lost to slumber. It appears Steve’s not too far behind her as his head is rested against the back of the couch– mouth open and slightly snoring– comforted by his own personal weighted blanket.

“Stevie,” you whisper, giving him a gentle shake, “don’t fall asleep,”

“Jus’ resting my eyes, darlin’,”

You scoff, teasing, “Right,”

He looks down at the sleeping child nuzzled into him, and plants a barely there kiss to the crown of her head. He rises slowly, so as not to wake her, and you follow him to her room.

He sets her down atop the frilly pink comforter with a practised ease, she stirs only slightly, and covers her up with a Disney Princess blanket that was previously splayed at the end of the mattress. You take turns giving her featherlight kisses and wishing her ‘sweet dreams’ even though you know she can’t hear you.

You and Steve are hand in hand as you tiptoe out of her room and close the door with a soft click, giggling like children.

Outside her door, he presses a tender kiss to your forehead. Then to each cheek. Then to your mouth.

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I love you,” he whispers back, “more than anything,”

“Wanna call it a night?”

“Can we make out first?”

You gasp in faux disapprovement as you smack a loving hand against his chest and he fakes a wince for dramatic effect. Always the drama queen, your Steve.

“Keep it in your pants, Big Boy,”

“Don’t call me that,” he tries to sound stern and fails.

“You love it,” you smirk.

You squeal when he grabs you behind your knees and hoists you up and over his shoulders.

“Quiet, baby. You’re gonna wake up our baby,” he scolds through a giggle. You pinch his butt in retaliation.

“Okay, that’s it. Off to bed with you,”

The next hour is spent in bed with your best friend– hushed laughs and languid kisses and skin caressing skin before you both drift off into a peaceful sleep; holding each other close like you always have.

divider credit to @/strangergraphics

[phantasm-ae]

Okay so I had this idea and I just JSJSJJSJSJSKKS. Anyways here it is. I hope you like it🥺

cw: some fluff

HEADCANON: Soap and Ghost got the wrong intel. Extraction at a… birthday party?

Pairing: Ghost and Soap

it was supposed to be a quick recon. Nothing out of the ordinary. Something they've done a couple out of a hundred times in their lifetime.

Check the warehouse. Mark supplies. Report back.

In. Out.

Easy.

Except Soap and Ghost being Soap and Ghost. Somehow took the wrong door and instead of being met with a supply stash of those black market ammo crates and smuggled gear Laswell briefed them on 2 weeks ago. They were instead met with a cascade of confetti. A blaring of colorful horns. Balloons floating around like some budget dream sequence and a bloody banner sagging lazily across the ceiling with the words "HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY JAYDEN" propped up by two mini-Spiderman balloons.

The two cartoony figures swaying ominously in the breeze of the open warehouse door.

Ghost and Soap stood fucking stock still at the sight.

Two hulking and massive men in full tactical gear. Rifles on hand. Kevlar. Christ even bloody prepped with face paint on -- were now staring into the abyss of the suburban chaos in front of them

A table covered in Spiderman themed paper plates. Crowd of sugared-up kids frozen mid-scream at the sight of them. A magician in a sparkly vest holding a rabbit, wide-eyed and doozy. A dad in cargo shorts holding a phone, mid-picture. And in the center, a fucking stunned kid wearing a party hat and face paint… that eerily resembled Ghost’s skull mask.

Soap’s finger hovered awkwardly near the safety switch on his rifle. Ghost just muttered, “...fuckin' hell.”

Then chaos.

One of the kids let out a shriek, but not out of fear -- rather out of sheer and enthusiastic delight. “COOL ARMY GUYS!”

Another yelled, “THEY’RE HERE FOR THE PARTY!” “LOOK, ONE OF THEM’S A SKELETON!”

Ghost could only stand up straighter at that. Eyes narrowed and brows furrowed in annoyance and unease. Turning slightly to Soap and muttering flatly, “This is your fault.”

"How's this ma fault?"

“You’re the one who said ‘let’s take the shortcut.’” “It wis labeled—!

"Labeled with what?"

"Ma gut"

Soap then. Now also irritated and confused. Tried to shoo off some wee scunners around his boots and gear. Some palming and prodding their tiny fingers into velcro and buckles -- "Aw fuck. Dinnae touch that. That's ma di-- uhh... magazine" -- almost swatting a bairn silly for trying to reach for his flashbang.

“Oi! That’s not a toy, ya wee gremlin -- put that down before we all see God.”

And the kid just. This 3'5 kid with some frosting and glitter smeared across his shirt just giggled like Soap said the funniest thing on earth. Clutching the round cap like it was a new Hot Wheels and darting off into the bouncy castle with alarming speed before Soap could pry the dangerous things off of his sticky fingers.

Soap stared after him, jaw slack. "The child's armed"

Soap immediately tried to backpedal toward the door, one hand reaching out blindly for Ghost. But the brooding and hulking mass of a man -- all 6'4 and weighty muscle -- was cornered by some determined little girl wearing various kinds of glittery plastic sheriff badges and a unicorn headband and -- God help them -- trying to handcuff Ghost still with rainbow slap bracelets. A proper master of hostage negotiation she was. She had him pinned down Simon let her. A slap bracelet now stretched around Ghost's wrist, holding him in place like some deranged form of child’s play.

And Ghost, deadpan and trying to remain indifferent despite his amused and softened tone. A distinct air of a man emotionally unraveled, muttered, “Soap, you’ve made contact with the enemy.”

Lips quirking up a bit beneath the mask as she let him lead her to Soap.

“She’s ten!” Soap hissed. Unable to do anything else. Flinching as the girl snapped one of the bracelets on his wrist as well with terrifying precision. "An’ she’s armed wi’ accessories!"

Another kid zipped by them, shrieking with laughter, waving what looked horrifyingly like a half-unwrapped glow stick taped to a toy pistol. Ghost sidestepped just in time to avoid being hit in the shin.

And somewhere in the bloody distance, a karaoke machine started playing Let It Go.

And then came the giggle again.

That same little demon child with the flashbang poked his frosting-smeared head out of the bouncy castle flap, holding the device above his head like Simba in The Lion King, yelling, “LOOK WHAT I GOT!”

Every adult in the room clapped, thinking it was a toy too. Fucking idiots

Soap grabbed Ghost by the tactical vest and hissed, “If we don’t leave right now, that wee gremlin’s gonna detonate us into the stratosphere and the last thing we’ll see is Elsa.”

Well fuck that. Ghost wanted to die sure. But not to some fucking disney song in the background while his body gets scattered into smithereens. Ghost didn’t even argue anymore. He turned. Slowly removed the colored straps on his wrists with an apologetic nod toward the glitter-covered child still trying to fashion a tiara out of pipe cleaners for him -- “Sorry, love. Your boyband’s disbanding yeah?” -- and pushed open the exit with his boot. Both men. Once covererd with warpaint and eyeblack, now stumbled out into the daylight -- covered in glitter, foam sword dents, and existential horror.

But before either of them could properly make a break for it though, a woman -- possibly the birthday boy’s mother -- strode up, wine cooler in hand, phone in the other. “Oh my God, you’re the entertainment?! You didn’t tell me you were doing full cosplay -- this is incredible! What’s your TikTok?”

Soap only blinked.

Ghost shook his head, clearly contemplating his life choices.

“We didn’t hire—” Soap started.

“Do you do face painting?” a child asked Ghost, reaching up to touch his mask.

Ghost took a step back. “Touch me and I vanish.”

That somehow made him more mysterious. A whole circle of kids now followed him like ducklings.

“Do a trick!” someone yelled.

Soap glanced around at the swarm of kids and chaos and, seeing no way out without causing a scene, turned to Ghost with the deadest eyes possible. “Mate, we’re in it up tae our eyeballs”

Ghost sighed heavily, albeit relaxing as he saw the wee lass approach again -- this time, not with slap bracelets, but with her finished paper crown, now glittered, crooked, and proudly labeled “KInG GhoSt” in chunky stickers.

She beamed at him, arms raised in offering.

And Ghost -- Ghost, who had walked through fire, cleaving a man from ear to ear, racked up three targets point blank in one shot, and once barreled through two doors in a single kick -- did not protest. Didn’t move. Didn’t growl or flee.

He simply knelt.

The crown was placed on his head with all the ceremony of a royal coronation, and the little girl patted his shoulder like she was knighting him.

“Fine. Ten minutes. No longer.”

3 hours later, Soap was engaged in a full-on Nerf battle behind the bounce house, dual-wielding foam dart guns he confiscated from a particularly rowdy six-year-old. And Ghost. All tank, heavy, and bruising muscle was sitting in a lawn chair with two toddlers now on his lap and that little girl -- Ella -- sleeping on his shoulder with a half-finished juice pouch in her unconscious grip.

The magician quit.

The cake was served. Soap was somehow made to cut it with a plastic bayonet.

And Laswell. Watching through the drone feed back at base after her two best operatives went complete radio silent could only mutter -- “...I don’t even want to know.”

Price would ask questions. Soap would lie.

Ghost would deny everything.

But Jayden?

Jayden would remember and so would his little sister Ella.

The flashbang though? It was tucked into some kid’s pocket, shiny and definitely armed, but would be later found in Jayden's toy box, where it sat like a prized possession next to a small mountain of Legos, a collection of Hot Wheels, and what appeared to be a very, very well-loved stuffed rabbit modeled after the skeleton guy.

Soap didn’t realize any of this though until a week later when a small package arrived at base. His name written in bright, bubbly handwriting on the envelope -- Jayden and Ella. Soap opened it slowly, half expecting it to explode in his face, but instead, there was a note tucked inside:

"THanK u fOR tHe PArtY Mr. BubBleS ! ThIs BELonGS 2 U - J AnD E."

And nestled carefully in the corner of the box was the flashbang. Clean. Untouched. But most of all -- in one bleedin' piece. Thank fuckin' Christ. The stealthy and dangerous thing nestled in some more shredded color paper and glitters?? in the box like it was just another toy.

Soap got a proper mouthing from Price after that though.

Something about civilian safety. An OPSEC violation? an AR190-03... Christ he didn't know. He forgot. Actually it all bled out into some blurry, distant, and obtuse backdrop. Half-listening like he always did.

Because back on his desk. Scattered. Cluttered. Disorganized and messy -- pinned what Soap taught to be one of the best masterpiece he's ever seen and received in his life.

A crayon drawing of himself in full tactical gear, looking like the proudest soldier on earth, and Ghost, tragically interpreted as a “skeleton king” with a bloody smiley face.

But most importantly. Taped beside it. Creased. Glittery. Slightly sticky with colored and shimmering glue -- was the crooked paper crown. Still intact. Still regal. And still Ghost's.

Aye.

it was worth it.

masterlist

[sicherheitzuerst]

Why do they look like they’ve just been told off 😂😬

Posted @withregram • @christophschneider_official Danke, Prag - Dêkuji, Praha

#rammstein