#starks bug chapter 11

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Take A Chance On Me Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV

Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Eventual), Little bit of Grumpy vs. Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy

Spotify Playlist 🪴

[SERIES COMPLETE]

Chapter 1: Are You Always Like This?

Chapter 2: What A Great Freakin' Way To Start The Day

Chapter 3: Please Remember To Take Your Happy Pills

Chapter 4: You Want to Live Where?

Chapter 5: We Got Us An IKEA Virgin

Chapter 6: Best Friends Forever

Chapter 7: It’s Not A Date

Chapter 8: It's Still Not A Date

Chapter 9: Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite

Chapter 10: Brother Dearest

Chapter 11: It’s Giving Kidnapping?

Chapter 12: Skip The Bagel Next Time

Chapter 13: Taking Out The Trash

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Chapter 15: I Don't Know What You Did To Me!

Chapter 16: I Thought I Was In Love Before

Epilogue: I Don't Want To Lose Your Lovelight

{One Shots}

Open Mic Night: When Ben and you go out on a double date with Annie and Hughie, you realize that maybe it was a bad idea.

Little Things: All Soldier Boy wants for Christmas is to find the perfect gift for you and all you want is for your boyfriend to have the best Christmas he has in forty years.

What Are You Doing?: Asking Ben to help you hide Easter eggs turns out to be a bad idea.

Cause Somewhere In The Crowd There's You: Birthdays for you mean singing your heart out at the local Karaoke club. Unfortunately, your boyfriend doesn't mirror your enthusiasm. Is there any way you can convince him otherwise?

Last Updated: 05/03/2025

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @corruptedcruiser @winchesterwild78 @the-super-who-locked-wizard

@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

@roger-that-cap @megara0224 @miskwaadesiwag @rainyeggvoidpurse

@soldiergrimes @tiffsbagels @podiumackles

@ifyouwerethemoon @ririshkin @peachhiz @fitxgrld @sukunassfinger

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @ej13928 @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @modiddys-blog

@acciosherlockholmes @minas-fantasies @fireskyy

@n-o-p-e-never @nesnejwritings @am0rem @tpwkcalli @momggn

@fitxgrld @whimsicalcherry @ladysparkles78

@spxideyver @zepskies @impala67stellawinchester

@reidtomewinchester @samanthadegaro @glossy01 @nikimisery

@tunnelvisionlove @incandxscents @winchester-stark @samahanta

@melonmochi

@kamisobsessed @whichwitchwanda @karolina-12110905 @jcollins03-blog

@pixviee @filmologetica @yvonneeeee @c1nnamong1rl29 @kmc1989

@livya99 @cherrygirl444 @tulipsvanilla @angrydragon90 @chi-raz

(Photos on Mood Board From Pinterest)

[stories-mostly]

Stark's Bug

Tony Stark x son!reader

Its here and longer than usual. I was actually gonna make it more into a bonding chapter between Coulson and Bug at first. And I did but then I scraped that and wrote this instead. Enjoy :)

Words: 2691

Warnings: angst but nothing too major ;)

Chapter 11

You arrived at your home about an hour later. Traffic had been bad on the direct way so your driver took a detour. The house was empty so Pepper stayed for the night not wanting to leave you alone. You were glad about that.

The next day you woke up with your alarm, ate and brought some food downstairs as usual. But it was still empty. Pepper had left after breakfast telling you to call her if Tony wasn't back when it's time to go to school.

You got dressed, brushed your teeth and did your hair before waiting in the lab, what was left of it at least. Good thing you had shoes on. Your legs were bouncing in anticipation and anxiety. But to your relief Tony came back about 30 minutes later in the newly painted, and damaged suit.

He tried to let it be taken off but it stuck to him making you giggle which in turn made your presence known to him.

"Oh, hey Bug. What time is it?"

"7.06am." you told him and watched with amusement as he scolded Jarvis for not being able to take off his suit.

Pepper came in a few moments later. She didn't laugh.

"Are those bullet holes?" You frowned, are they?

Your day at school was uneventful and the classes were boring. At least your friends were there to entertain you during breaks.

You were picked up by Happy and brought home. Your dad was working in the lab and you did your homework and then spent your time playing with your Action figures and dolls upstairs, you didn't know the difference but apparently there was one. Jarvis kept you updated on your dads progress as well. It made you feel more secure knowing what he was doing and where he was.

"Captain Magic, save us!!!" you half shouted in a high pitch moving your civilians who were stuck in a 'burning building'. Swiftly your Captain Magic figure entered the scene. "Oh thank god, it's Captain magic!" the civilians cheered. But what's this? Captain Magic began blowing on the fire to increase it? Oh no!

"What are you doing Captain Magic? We're gonna die if you continue!" said one of your dolls stuck in the building.

"*gasp* That's not Captain Magic at all!" said another.

Your second Captain Magic action figure then made her entrance.

"She's not the real Captain Magic! I am!" She said floating in front of the building. The crowd both in and around the building gasped.

"An imposter??"

"But how? They look exactly the same!" you voiced the peoples distraught. "How will we know the difference!?"

There come the firefighters starting to spray the building down as the REAL Captain Magic carried the people from the building to the ground. Then suddenly the imposter attacked. "Ugh! Why are you doing this?" the real one asked as the imposter continued to attack. Throwing punches and kicks with skill. You made fighting noises as the fight continued.

"You could be good! We could help the people together!" Plead the real one as she kept the fake one down.

"I'd rather die than help you!" She said in a rough voice. Captain Magic punched her.

"Who send you?" She asked. But before she could get her answer a giant robot swooped into the scene.

"Oh no it's Megarobot! What will we do now?"

You couldn't continue your scene as Pepper interrupted it as she walked past. Making you stop and watch her.

"What are you playing?" She asked.

"Captain Magic appeared next to a burning building but instead of saving people she made the fire bigger. But it wasn't actually Captain Magic it was an imposter. The real one came and they fought and then Megarobot came, and that's where we are now."

"That sounds intense. I'll leave you to it then. Is Tony in the lab?" You nodded and waited til she was gone to continue your story.

The characters floated back into position and you continued.

You couldn't for long though since Pepper came back soon, she looked like she was in a hurry.

"Where are you going?" you asked sitting up straighter.

"To your dad office."

"Can I come?" You stood up before she could answer. She thought for a moment.

"I'm sorry sweety, but I can't take you with me today. Next time okay?" Defeated you sat yourself back down. And continued playing, this time more half heartily. You had really wanted to go with her.

Well your moping didn't last too long. Only a few minutes later the fight continued this time they defeated Megarobot together.

And yet Imposter Captain Magic attacked the real one again as soon as he was taken care of.

"Stop with this! You can still become good." Captain Magic said with desperation in her voice.

"Don't you get it? This isn't about being the bad guy. This is about you! You ruined my life! This is the day I can finally get revenge!" The imposter said and tore Captain Magics hands off the roof without further elaboration. Captain Magic fell, her Cape which made her fly was gone so she had no chance of survival. And all the while the imposter laughed like a maniac.

And with that the story ended and the real hero, died.

Or did she?

"You're just gonna kill her like that?" Tony commented as your imposter figure flew away.

"Yeah, but it's not over yet." you smiled at him.

"I see Pepper and Rhodes same gift mishap was actually a win. Huh?"

You nodded full of enthusiasm. There was so much potential in having the same figure twice.

"Alright but it's time to clean up here. It's late. It's way past bed time for you." He said pointing to the darkness that was visible through the window. Woah, when did that happen?

Reluctantly you grabbed your figures and trotted off into your room to put them away, floating some back to your room. While you did that you found your old headphones. You had gotten them together with a cheap mp3 player in a kids magazine. Intrigued and totally having forgotten about the plan of cleaning up. You plopped down on your bed and went through the saved music. They were mostly songs your dad liked with some more modern songs inbetween, like lady gaga. You smiled as you mouthed the words nodding your head along. Silently you put on a show to Rihannas Umbrella. It was such a great song. If you knew the word iconic you would've used it to describe the song.

Remembering your actual task at hand you stood up after a deep breath, put the mp3 player in your pocket and walked out.

As you rounded the corner to the living room still feeling great about the songs playing, your stomach dropped.

Obidiah was leaning over your father with a weird device in his hand. The air was caught in your throat as you heard his voice over your music. You quickly, and silently paused the music just as he said something about. "-killing the golden goose."

You watched in horror as he placed the device on the arc reactor in your fathers chest. Your dad didn't move.

"But, you see, it was just, fate you survived that" your father let out a grunt as the device clicked and Obie started turning it. Your breath shuddered and hand started shaking. You wanted to scream and hit him as he pulled out the arc reactor but you were rooted in place by a primal fear that took over. With a voice that would haunt you he said.

"You just had one last golden egg to give." You felt dizzy. You weren't known for nightmares but you were sure that this was one.

As tears started rolling down your cheeks as you heard the arc reactor being pulled completely from your fathers chest. The sound it made was sickening.

And why wasn't your dad moving? Why was he just laying there, letting him do all of these things. Stealing the thing that kept him alive.

Obie was making himself comfortable next to Tony, holding the reactor infront of him as if he enjoyed seeing him struggle. Drawing out his words in a low growl. Like he knew you could spot them. Like he knew he had to be quiet.

As he calmly put the reactor in a suitcase you hid back into the shadows.

"It'll be such a shame when little Y/n finds you after he wakes up. He's gonna be heartbroken and I will have to raise him. Just like I raised you."

Holding both hands over your mouth as he walked down another path to get out you let out a small shuddered breath.

As soon as you couldn't hear him anymore you rushed to your fathers side.

"Daddy! Daddy are you okay? Daddy say something!" You shouted in your panic, shaking him a bit and sobbing every time you took a breath.

"lab" He struggled to say, you knew what he meant. You stayed beside him helping him up and towards the elevator. Still having to sob with every few breaths.

"You're gonna be okay daddy, I'll help you daddy." You repeated often reaching the elevator you barely used. Tony had to lean against the side of it, breathing heavily. The shock still running through you, you felt like the word fuck. Fuck what are you gonna do? Fuck what is happening? Fuck is your dad gonna die?

The elevator stopped and you jumped out as soon as you could leaving your father to search for the gift Pepper had given him a few days ago.

"Jarvis where is it!?" You asked the AI but before he could answer Dum-E whirred into action picking the glass box up and holding it out for you to take.

"Thank you!" You sobbed and tried to pry off the gass from the bottom but it wouldn't budge. With a short look at your father a few feet away laying on the ground you smashed the box and broke off the reactor.

You almost tripped over your own feet trying to get to him. Dropping down on your knees beside him he took the reactor from you and with as much finesse as he could muster connected it back into the hole in his chest.

When the reactor started to glow a soft blue shade you breathed a sigh of relief and started wiping the tears from your cheeks but they didn't stop running.

Your father laid there catching his own breath gently having placed his right hand on your arm as a soothing gesture.

A few moments later Rhodey came rushing in shouting both your names.

"Tony!" He gasped as he saw the scene before him. You sitting next to Tony on your lower legs, wiping your face every few seconds. And Tony laying there almost motionless.

Rhodey dropped to his knees beside his best friend.

Tony grabbed onto Rhodey and started talking. Where was Pepper, that they had to find Obidiah and so on.

Your dad with the help of Rhodey stood up and started to get suited up.

In a flash he was gone and Rhodey was left alone with a small traumatised boy by his side.

With a deep breath he picked you up. He couldn't leave you here especially in your state.

"Let's go buddy. Wanna help me help your dad?" He asked placing you in the back of the nearest car. You just nodded and buckled up. Rhodey wiped your tears away and closed the door.

The car ride had a soothing effect. Within the short time you calmed down tremendously. You almost fell asleep, these few minutes had drained your very being of all the energy it had left. You woke right back up as soon as the car stopped moving.

"Hey bud, you wanna be carried?" Rhodey asked getting out of the car in a hurry and opening your door.

You nodded and let yourself be pulled up by the man. Wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your face on his shoulder as he walked into the base.

Rhodey just continuously talked to you. That you were brave and a strong little boy. That your father was fine now. There is nothing to worry about any longer. You were safe and so was everyone else. And so on.

In a sort of control room there were people loudly speaking to each other. Rhodey walked in with you and straight to one of the men who was holding a phone.

He said something about it being just a training exercise.

The people there fell silent. You were still in Rhodeys arms when he sat down. And fell asleep holding onto your uncle.

You didn't know how long you were asleep. All you knew was that you were suddenly back home next to your dad.

He was bruised and battered but looked like he was happy to see you. And you were happy to see him.

You slept in your dad's bed that night, cuddled deep into his side. He didn't die tonight. Partially thanks to you.

The next day was rather hectic, you woke up got done with your morning routine and then you all went to a press conference regarding the happenings of yesterday night. You even got to dress in a suit again, and you had placed your Captain Magic action figure in your breast pocket. Why? Because it looks cool.

Phil gave your dad some cards with his statement and turned to you before he left.

"Here I got you something." He said and pulled out a small package and handed it to you.

"What is it?" you asked not wanting to rip the gift paper immediately. He smiled down at you softly. With a sort of sorry look in his eyes.

"A little gift from me from one superhero loving kid to another." He ruffled your hair and said his goodbye. Phil knew what had transpired yesterday and just wanted to cheer you up a bit.

He left after you thanked him again. While Pepper and Tony were talking you ripped open the paper and found an action figure inside. "Captain America"  was written in bold letters over the blue dressed figure.

"Whatcha got there?" Tony asked as he saw you staring at your gift reading what was written on the packaging.

"Coulson gave me a doll named Captain America!?" you said and showed him the little man and his gadgets.

Your dad smiled, a bit forced but mostly a real one. He may not like the captain usa but he certainly liked you being happy.

"Well do you know him?" He asked and you shook your head. Who the frick was this guy? You didn't like not knowing much about the action figure if you were going to play with it. So you made a mental note to do a bit of research on the man. Was he from the comics? You didn't read those often. And when then never something new.

Tony left after Pepper told him to go out.

Your attention was now focused on the screen instead of the doll. He made a joke and the reporters chuckled but then your dad got sidetracked after a question, he was never a good liar.

"The truth is, I am Iron man." He said and you grinned. You were now officially the son of Iron man. Not that being the son of Tony Stark isn't cool but Iron man sounded better. Also can Tony Stark shoot lasers just like that? You rest your case.

Rhodes scolded him for saying that but what was he gonna do? Say it's a joke? You were happy to now finally announce that Iron man is your favorite superhero so you did. It was no longer a secret!

"You wanna know who my favourite hero is?" You asked your dad hugging him.

"Yeah! Who is it?"

"You!!" You said and Tony's heart melted a bit.

It was late when you were finally back home, you were tired and dragged your steps while holding onto your father's hand.

You jumped when you heard a strangers voice. It was the Private boss (Captain?) of shield, as he had introduced himself as.

He was here to talk about some avengers initiative but you were too tired to listen properly. He and your father sat down to talk properly while you let your head rest on your fathers lab slowly drifting off to sleepy town. Still holding the doll. Well, action figure. But that's basically the same thing.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @nicholasbich @tater-thottie @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark @emilaa2001 @kindahadeschild

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

Calm Before the Storm

Existence in Real Time - Chapter 11 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark! Reader

A/N: I’m so sorry it’s been so long guys I’m the worst 😭 Anyways updates will be quicker now I promise. The next chapter will be the finale and it’s coming very soon! I don’t have an exact date but this month for sure. I just hope you guys are looking forward to this as much as I am, love you guys so much! Hope you enjoy! 

Summary: Peter and you must decide what to do next when a warrant is issued for Norman’s arrest

Taglist

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“Oh yeah, Spiderman was super cool,” Flash smirked as he bragged to the class, “I was right there in the middle of it all, it was crazy.”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, “Is he ever gonna shut up about this?”

“Probably not,” MJ frowned, “We’re gonna be hearing this story until we graduate.”

“I can’t believe anyone believes him when the whole fight was caught on video, he wasn’t anywhere near the action,” (y/n) scoffed.

“Well at least when they bug him about it we get left alone,” MJ turned her attention back to her phone.

“Good point,” she sighed as the bell rang, “I’ve got enough to worry about right now.”

“Are you still having trouble sleeping?” MJ frowned as she tossed her backpack over her shoulder.

“My parents have been letting me stay in Peter’s room, which helps, but I think I’ll feel a lot better once Norman is locked up you know?”

“I’m sure you will,” MJ squeezed her shoulder as Peter approached them.

“Ready for lunch?” he smiled, taking (y/n)’s hand in his.

She nodded, “I’m ready for anything that gets me away from Flash, I seriously can’t listen to him for another second.”

Peter laughed and kissed the top of her head, “Yeah if I have to hear that same Spiderman story one more time I think I’m gonna go insane. I mean seriously he’s been telling the same story everyday in every class for the past week.”

“Oh this is nothing,” MJ smirked, “Last year he saw Drake at the airport and he didn’t shut up about it for a month.”

“Oh god,” (y/n) groaned, “I remember that, he kept trying to convince me to get him in contact with him so he could send him a track.”

Peter knit his brow and opened his mouth to ask who Drake was, but stopped when he saw Ned running up the hall towards them.

“Guys did you see the news?!”

MJ laughed, “No, we’ve been in class. What’s the big rush?”

“Look!” he shoved his phone into their faces, “We were watching it in my econ class, they just put out a warrant for Norman Osborn’s arrest.”

“Holy shit…” (y/n) squinted at the screen.

“Breaking news, a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Oscorp CEO, Norman Osborn,” the newscaster spoke, “The details of the warrant haven’t been revealed to the public yet so we can’t say whether or not this is related to the recent arrest of his son, Harry, but that seems to be what most people are speculating. Norman has failed to turn himself over to the police so far, but we’ll keep you updated as details arise.”

“Wow, about time,” MJ pursed her lips, “Hopefully he won’t try to flee or something.”

“He will,” Peter’s eyes were locked on the screen, his whole body stiff, “We should call Tony.”

(y/n) nodded and reached for her phone, “We’ll meet up with you guys in a minute.”

Peter followed (y/n) up the hall as she punched in her dad’s number, anxiously tapping his foot while she nodded and mumbled one word replies. It was obvious the call wasn’t going as she’d hoped, which made Peter worry something had gone terribly wrong. She finally set a hand on his bicep to stop him from pacing.

“Alright, yeah, got it, love you too,” she mumbled before shoving the phone into her pocket with a sigh.

“What did he say?” Peter grabbed her shoulders, his brows wrinkled in concern.

“Yeah, for now,” she sighed, “Look P, they just put the warrant out, for all they know he might just turn himself in. I know you want to be there, but for now we just need to wait.”

“He said it was a really last minute decision because they were worried he was about to flee. So they’re still sorting things out and waiting to see if they hear anything from him. For now he wants us to stay at school, but he said he’ll call us if anything changes.”

“He wants us to stay here?!”

“There’s no way he’ll turn himself in,” Peter scoffed, “If anything this is just gonna give him more reason to run.”

“It’s just a couple hours Peter, I’m sure Norman’s panicking and meeting with his legal team and scrambling to figure out what to do. He’s not gonna run away before the school day is over.”

He took a deep breath and nodded, “Fine, fine, we’ll wait, but if they go after him I’m going too. I want to be there for it.”

“I know,” she squeezed his bicep and pursed her lips, “He’s not gonna get away, we’re gonna stop him.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Peter had spent the rest of the school day on edge, bouncing his leg nervously and checking his phone religiously for any updates. Nothing came though, both the news and Tony were silent until he and (y/n) had arrived at home. Tony was waiting for them in the lab, ready to fill them in on what was going on.

“When are you going after him?” Peter demanded.

“Hold your horses,” Tony scolded, “How was school?”

“Dad,” (y/n) groaned.

“If he hasn’t turned himself in by tomorrow we’ll go after him. It won’t be the full Avengers team though, just Natasha, Peter, me, and some Shield agents,” he explained.

Peter went wide eyed, “I’m part of the team?”

Tony nodded, “I figure you’re gonna sneak in either way so I might as well bring you, but you have to listen to us Peter. If it ends up coming down to this it’s going to be dangerous, and we need this to go well. If we want him to stay locked up we have to do this by the books.”

Peter inhaled sharply and nodded, “I’ll listen, I just want to see him pay.”

“You will, but I need to know that I can trust you on this. If you want to help you have to let the professionals handle this.”

“I will,” he insisted, “I know I haven’t been the best at that in the past, but I want to be part of this, I’ll help however you need me too.”

“Alright. You’re going to be with Natasha and I the whole time, we’ll be the ones going after Norman directly. He’ll be heavily guarded, and it’s hard to say what that means. Possibly more genetically modified people like you, weapons no one’s ever seen, it’s hard to say really. If things end up going that way I’ll give you a better breakdown tomorrow. Just remember, you follow my lead, and we’re just there to keep them from fleeing.”

“Got it,” Peter nodded, “I can do this.”

“I know you can, I’m just hoping it won’t come to that,” Tony sighed, “But he hasn't said a word yet, so it seems like things are heading that way.”

“What can I do?” (y/n)’s cheeks flushed as she interjected, “I-I want to help too.”

“You’re not trained for something like this kiddo,” Tony tried to ruffle her hair, laughing when she ducked away, “You can stay on the intercom with Fury though, help him run things.”

“Okay...” she glanced at Peter before slipping her hand into his, “Norman’s gonna get locked up for life right?”

Tony nodded, “We’ll go for life when he’s convicted. If all goes well we won’t ever have to worry about him again.”

“So Peter will be safe?”

“From Norman at least,” Tony confirmed, “Safe doesn’t really come with the superhero gig though bug. But Peter’s part of the family, so we’ll always be there to look out for him.”

Peter’s cheeks flushed and he squeezed (y/n)’s hand in his, “Thanks.”

(y/n) cracked a smile and bit her cheek, “Yeah, thanks dad.”

“Yeah don’t mention it,” Tony sighed, “Why don’t you kids go try and relax for a little while? Put on a movie or something and we’ll get dinner when Pepper gets home.”

Peter and (y/n) headed to Peter’s room hand in hand, still on edge but hoping to relax for at least a little while. Peter couldn’t help but pace while (y/n) pulled up a movie, he had too much  on his mind to sit still. He knew there was no way Norman would go down without a fight.

“Peter come lay down with me,” (y/n) patted the bed beside her, “I know it’s hard not to think about it but we should try to forget all this, at least for a little while.”

“He’s gonna fight it,” Peter sighed, “I know he is, there’s no way he’ll turn himself in.”

She nodded, “I know, but they’ve got eyes on him, if they need to go after him earlier they will, until then we have to just wait. Dwelling on it isn’t good for you.”

He sat down beside her finally and set his hand over hers, “Do you think I’m ready?”

“I know you are, I saw how you handled Harry, you can do this Peter,” she assured him,

“I’m still scared though.”

“I’ll come back safe,” he promised before kissing her forehead, “How could I not when I’ve got you waiting for me?”

She buried her face in his chest, “I love you Peter.”

“I love you too,” he wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her hair, “I never thought I’d get this sort of chance.”

“I’m glad you get to, he should have to face you.”

He nodded, “I know, I always knew I’d meet him at some point, and I always hoped I’d be free already when I did. I never really thought I’d get all the answers I wanted though, and I definitely never thought I’d be able to hold him accountable for what he did.”

She cracked a smile, “Well you do get to Peter, and we’re going to make sure he never hurts you, or anyone else, ever again. Everyone’s gonna know exactly how evil he is.”

“You know what else I never thought I’d get?”

“What?”

“You.”

Her whole face started to burn, “Me?”

“Yeah, you,” he confirmed, “When I was in the bunker I always used to imagine what it’d be like to be in love, to have someone that made me feel the way you do. Now I do and it’s like you’re my whole universe you know?”

She nodded, her bottom lip quivered slightly as she struggled not to get too emotional, “I know what you mean Peter, you’re the center of my whole world.”

“Exactly,” he sighed contently, “And after tomorrow I don’t have to worry about losing that, we can just be normal.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about losing me or my love Peter, no physical boundary is ever gonna change that. Even if something separated us I would still love you, and we would find our way back together, I know we would.”

“Of course we would,” Peter nodded in agreement and kissed her head, “Nothing could ever keep me away from you.”

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Taglist:

@niallberry @namoreno @singerintheshower @juliannaamonroe @kaylans-imagines @petershbw @spideyspeaches

[irondad-creator-awards]

The Nominations So Far (Kinda)

Some of you have been asking to see who’s nominated in which category, so I’m putting up what I’ve done so far. This is by no means everyone nominated, as we’ve had 96 submissions to the form, and I’m not going to be able to log them all until nominations close. But if you’ve been contacted to say you’re up for an award, you should be listed below...

Good Luck to everyone nominated x

1. THE ONE THAT MADE YOU GASP! — A story which had a plot twist you didn’t see coming. Something that caught you so off guard that you had to stop a minute and take a breath before devouring the rest. What’s the story for you?

A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99

Chaotic Peter Parker by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Cycle Through by Ambivalentangst

Ever In Your Favor by Iron_Spider

Irondad Ficlets by Ironxprince

Like Father, Like Son by An_Odd_Idea

Love Leaves A Memory No-One Can Steal by Ironmum

More Peril In Thine Eye  by Iron_Spider

No Longer In Service by Starryknight09

Proof Of Concept by Flurrbee

Serenity by Jolinarjackson

Spidey Tot by Kevy_Grayce

Stab Me In The Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7

Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror

  2. THE MULTI-CHAPTER YOU COULDN’T PUT DOWN — A story which kept you up all night or calling in sick for work so you were free to read. Who’s the culprit?

 A Parent Apparent by Happyaspie

A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99

A Sailor Went To Sea by by Yellowdistress

Air I Breathe by Heartofcathedrals

And You’ll Blow Us All Away by Losingmymindtonight

Astronomy In Reverse by Pansley

Come My Darling, Homeward Bound by Iamirondad

Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth by Da_Moose

Five Times Tony And Peter Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum

I Will Carry You (Always) by Thestarvingwriter

Identity Crisis by Kitcat992

If They All Knew About You by Mshermia

In Unlikely Places by Looneylizzie

Irondad Ficlets by Ironxprince

Mr. Parker Declined To Commentby Apisdn

Pain Will Always Come Back To Haunt You by Kevy_Grayce

Permanence by Theexhaustedalchemist

Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom

Proof Spiderman Loves Clickbait by Mauvera

The Lost And Forgotten by Lizcraz

 3. THE ONE-SHOT THAT THAT HAD YOU HOOKED — Some writers can cram more greatness into less words than a 100k monster. What’s the one-shot that did it for you?

 5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by Losingmymindtonight

Countless Ways To Say I Love You            by Hopeless_Hope

Familiar Faces by Happyaspie

First Wednesday Of March by The Case Of The Missing Museum Bea-Storer

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by Aloneintherain

I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt

I Promise I'll Do Better by 221broadwayiron

I Will Soften Every Edge by Losingmymindtonight

Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b

Something Here Will Eventually Have To Explode by Madasthesea

What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal  by Finny3120

 4. THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES — A drabble (under 1k) can pack in all the goodness that you need in a coffee break read. What’s that story for you?

 Butter Me Up by Iron_Spider

Cuddle Bug by Marvelous_Writer

Food At Home by Aimaim94

Insomniacs In The Dark by Littlemissagrifina

Irondad Cuddles by Lilacsoulw

Let The Mind Games Begin by Ironmum

 5. THE BIODAD THAT TOUCHED YOUR HEART — Some of the greatest stories flip canon and make Tony Peter’s biological father. Be it baby Peter taking his first steps or Tony dealing with the fact his son is following in his superhero footsteps as Spider-Man, which is the one you loved most of all?

 An Abstract Concept by Iron-Spider

Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark

Built From Scraps by  Peter Stank

Happy Hogan Never Forgets A Face by Jen27ny

Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) by Mainstreamelectricalparade

If They Knew All About You by Mshermia

My Little Bambino by Maicaly

Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by Superherotiger

Slow Down, Start Again From The Beginning by Cassiecasyl

Sound Logic by Aytheria

Spiderson by Emily_F6

Stars, Hide Your Fires by Yellowdistress.

The Less Than Secret Life by Yellowdistress

The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle

They Say Boys Don't Cry (But Your Dad Has Shed A Lot Of Tears) by Tempestaurora

What’s In A Name? by Geekymoviemom

 6. THE ONE WITH THE FIELD TRIP — The field trip trope is one of the most popular in the fandom. What’s the story that you think pulls all the elements together to make it great?

 A Different Take by Cyberwolfwrites

Constant Internal [Spider] Screaming: Semi-Connected Scenes From A Graduating Senior’s Life by Isadancurtisproduction

Field Trip by Inkinmyheartandonthepage

Field Trip Flip by  Happyaspie

I Don’t Want To Talk About It Anymore by Bees_And_Wasps

Mr Stark Enough For You? (Another Field Trip Fic Bcs We Dont Have Enough) by Livinei

Neon Liar (Hiding In Plain Sight) by Isadancurtisproduction

No Reason To Go by Pokegeek151

Tower Of Donuts And Doubts by              Platinumdollz

Who Is He? by Velarisstars

 7. THE TIME AFTER TIME ONE — There’s some great time travel stories out there, but which is your favorite?

 Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark

Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth) by Da_Moose

I Have Time by Peterparkr

The End Is Just A New Beginning              by Tytach

The Time Traveler’s Mentor by Iamirondad

Whatever It Takes by Starryknight09

 8. THE ONE WITH ALL THE OWIES — Another massively popular Irondad trope is hurt/comfort, and there’s some amazing stuff out there. Which is the one that you love most of all?

 A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99

Air I Breathe by Heartofcathedrals

Be Weak by Fluencca

But What Is Grief? by Odd_1

But What Is Grief? by Odd_1

Danger Pizza by Alice_In_Ink

Darkness Will Be Rewritten by Marveal

Dude, Do These Tacos Taste Funny To You? by First_Page

Follow The North Star Home by Fallingforbees

Foolish, Fragile Spine by Plnkblue

Outnumbered by Heartofcathedrals

Sometimes It’s Easier To Just Swim Down by Mjscorner

The Room Where It Happens by Notapartytrick

We All Chase After A Few Dying Stars by Losingmymindtonight

What I Have, I Give To You by Aatticsaltt

When My Body Won't Hold Me Anymore (Where Will I Go) by Madasthesea

Your Heart Changed (Mine Stayed The Same) by Loisselina (Loisselina)

 9. THE ONE THAT HURTS SO GOOD — We all like a bit of angst sometimes, so what’s the story that you wanted to hide from but you had to keep reading to get to the happy ending?

 Built From Scraps by Peterstank

Cycle Through by Ambivalentangst

Fifteen Years In The Making by Potts89

Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me by Itsreallylaterightnow And Killerqueenwrites

I Need You To Be Free by Marveal

I Promise I'll Do Better by 221broadwayiron

If You Listen You Can Hear The Ibis by Yellowedistress

Let's Get On With Living (While We Can) by Almond_Blossoms

Let's Get On With Living (While We Can) by Almond_Blossoms

Love Leaves A Memory No-One Can Steal by Ironmum

May Parker's Complete Guide On How To Raise Your Spiderling by Embarrassing_Myself

More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron_Spider

Of Flying And Falling by Polaroid15

Sunlight by Ardenskyeholmes221

The Room Where It Happens by Notapartytrick

When Trauma Comes Knocking by Kevy_Grayce

 10. THE ONE THAT SOOTHES THE PAIN — What’s the story that you go to when you need a pick-me-up after the angst?

 5 Times A Spider-Baby Got Dad Smooched by Buckets_Of_Stars

5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by Grilledcheesing

5 Times Tony Stark Protected Penny Parker by Emily_F6

Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark

Bitch Better Have My Money by Neicy286

Career Day: A Short Story by Shewritesall

Early Childhood Education by Thedisneyoutsider

Five Times Peter And Tony Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum

Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) by Mainstreamelectricalparade

I Can Hold The Weight Of The Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt

Instant Kill Mode by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Kids These Days  by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

The Road So Far by Nicolemoon8

No More Lonely by Shewritesall

Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b

That's How You And I Will by Frostysunflowers

What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal by Finny3120

Whatever It Takes by Starryknight90

 11. THE ONE WITHOUT A HOME TO GO TO — There’s some wonderful homeless Peter stories out there, so which is the one you were blown away by?

 A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud

After The Landslide by Freyaatterton

Distracted by A Dime by Happyaspie

I Told You I Had Issues by Bergen

Is It Too Much To Ask For Home That Lasts? Ft. Peter Parker by Wakandaforever2357

The Little Things (That I Miss) by Da_Moose

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle

Unexpected (Everything I Never Knew I Wanted) by Moonchild2593

 12. THE ONE THAT’S A WHOLE NEW WORLD — There’s lots of imaginative AUs in Irondad fic. Whether it’s Steve and Tony as baseball players or Pepper being Peter’s mom, which one is your number one?

  A Guardian Among Us by Superherotiger

A Soul's Best Friend by Superherotiger

Ever In Your Favor by Iron_Spider

Have Patience, A Quick Wit, And A Gentle Heart by Ironfamjam

I Battle My Jerk Step-Dad by Andromath

Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b

Sea Spider by Bean_Reads_Fanfic

Spidey Tot by Kevy_Grayce

Though Everything Is A Miracle by Overtures

Until It Disappeared From Me by Ashleyparker2815

When I Am On Your Shoulders by Ladyblackwater

You Mispronounced Spider by Lliblo

 13. THE TWEAKING THE SETTINGS ONE — There’s things we all wish we could change in canon — *cough* Endgame *cough* — so which canon divergence does it for you?

 5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by Grilledcheesing

Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It          by Savana_Marlark

Beautiful Boy by Emily_Davison

Bittersweet by Kevy_Grayce

Built From Scraps by Peterstank

I Will Restore All That Was Broken            by Killerqueenwrites

May Parker's Complete Guide On How To Raise Your Spiderling by               Embarrassing_Myself

Moulded Minds by Wingswithstrings

Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom

The End Of Infinity by Friendlyneighborhoodfangirls

The Returned by Nicolemoon8

What Was Missing Was You by Happyaspie

What Were The Words I Meant To Say Before You Left by Madasthesea

 14. THE ONE YOU GO BACK TO AGAIN AND AGAIN — Some fics deserve a re-read or ten. What’s the story you go find yourself going back to?

 A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood by Ambivalentangst

A Parent Apparent by Happyaspie

Age Regression Was Impossible... Right? by Chvotic

Am I Just A Shadow You Drew by Ironxprince

Apartment 43B by Ironfamjam

Back To Bed by Eccentric_Artist_221b

Beautiful Boy by Emily_Davison

Family Is More Than Blood (It Is Light) by Moonchild2593

Keeping Company by Whumphoarder And Xxx_Cat_Xxx

Keeping Company by Whumphoarder And Xxx_Cat_Xxx

Moulded Minds by Wingswithoutstrings

Play by Losingmymindtonight

Rules Are Made To Be Broken by Ironmum

Sins Of The Fathers by Geekymoviemom

The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09

The Lost And Forgotten by Litcraz

The One Where Peter Is Bucky’s Weakness by Jinxquickfoot

The Rise And Fall Of A Spider by Spidersoning

The Spider-Man Conspiracy by Tempestaurora

 15. THE SERIES THAT SWEPT YOU AWAY — Some of us love to go on a long ride with a series, so which is the world of multiple stories that you binged or waited anxiously for each update?

 Another June Day by Skeeter_110

Chaotic Peter Parker by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Home by Glwilliams97

I Love You More Than Anything (Bio Dad Au) by Iron_Spider

I Love You More Than Anything (Bio Dad Au) by Iron_Spider

Irondad NSAP by Chvotic

Lights To Guide You Home by Jolinarjackson

Mr. Stark & His Kid by Writerstrash

Once Upon An Adoption by Kevy_Grayce

Out Of Darkness by Starryknight09

Soul Stone Realm by Marvelmusicmystery

The Room Saga by Iamirondad

Tony Stark Is A Good Mentor by Happyaspie

Was That A Star Wars Reference, Dr. Stark? by Jen27ny

We Forgot Peter by Inkinmyheartandonthepage

Webcams And Webshooters by Losingmymindtonight

 16. THE IN-PROGRESS ADVENTURE — What’s the story that has you checking your email each day, hoping for an update?

  A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud

A Perfect Storm by Grilledcheesing

Ain't My Blood; Still My Boys by Parkrstark

All The Stars Align by Ashleyparker2815

Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It           by Savana_Marlark

Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth) by Da_Moose

Fifteen Years In The Making by Potts89

Found Family by Thedisneyoutsider

If They Knew All About You by Mshermia

If You're Going Through Hell, Keep On Going by Baloobird

Mr. Stark, Something Is Wrong by @Simping-For-Peggy

Outnumbered by Heartofcathedrals

Outnumbered by Heartofcathedrals

Peter’s New Step-Brother by Bowtiez

Priorities by Jlmonroe1234

Priorities by Jlmonroe1234

Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by Superherotiger

Sleeping Through A Rogue Winter Storm by Pogokitten

Survivors Guilt   by Ember_Darla And Marvel_Cinematic_Universe_Fan

Tech Of Nondestructive Yakking by Wabisabi

The Case Of The Missing Museum Bea-Storer by Ironmum

The Hero Of Our Own Story by Kingdomfaraway

The Many Adventures Of Iron Dad And Spider Son by Lbigreyhound13

What You Were Then I Am Today by Madasthesea

You Are My Sunshine by Iamconstantine

 17. THE COMPLETE FIC THAT YOU CHERISH — Whether or not you’ve got the patience for an in-progress or not, there’s a wealth of complete stories you can devour at leisure or all in one coffee-fuelled binge. What’s yours?

 Intern Spider by Emily_F6

Only For A Little While by Eccentric_Artist_221b

The Guardian by Emily_F6

 18. THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU ALL THE LOVE — We all love Irondad, but some stories come with bonus bonds that give us just as much. Do you have a Peter & Bucky, or a Peter & Steve working alongside which delivers all the found family goodness?

 "I Have A Nephew!" by Zimnokurw

5 Times Happy Hogan Nearly Had A Heart Attack Because Of Peter Parker by Thespydersargon

Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark

Brighten Up, Sunshine by Iron_Spider

It Must Be Nice (To Have Mrs. Potts On Your Side by Sdottkrames

It Takes A Village (To Make Sure You're Okay) by Baloobird

Kingdom Come Undone by Killerqueenwrites

Project: Get Bucky Barnes A Dog by Ruxian

Road Work Ahead by Toniwilder

Rules Are Made To Be Broken by Ironmum

When In The Dark by Kevy_Grayce

 19. THE PROLIFIC WRITER AWARD — Irondad has some amazingly prolific writers. Which are the ones you’ve subscribed to get at that fic-wonder goodness of 10 works or more?

 Aimaim94

Buckets_Of_Stars

Emily_F6

HAPPYASPIE

Inkinmyheartsandonthepage

Ironmum

Iron-Spider

Jen27ny

Littlemissagrafina

Madasthesea

Magicalyss

Mshermia

O0CITRUSEE0O

Parkrstark

Superherotiger

 20. THE NEWBIE — New writers are joining the fandom all the time. Who’s the newbie (posting for 12 months or less) that’s delivering the good stuff for you?

 107thinfantry

Fallingforbees

Ironmum

Jinx_Frost

Just_Ppeachy

Kittybellestark

Lilacsoulw

Maicaly

Polaroid15

Spagbol99

Sunflowerspideyy

 21. THE OG — Who’s the writer that’s been around for a while (12 months or more) that keeps you captivated?

 Ashleyparker2815

Emily_F6

Happyaspie

Iron_Spider

Jen27ny

Kevy_Grayce

Parkrstark

Snarkymuch

Spooderboyandtincan

 22. THE WILD CARD STORY — The story that does (or doesn’t) fit into the above categories but you believe deserves the prize. Which one is that for you?

  Aliens Really Are Out To Get You Aren't They? by Some_Sort_Of_Trash

Born To Cherish by Ironfamjam

Everyday Superhero by Stoneage_Woman

Five Times Tony And Peter Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum

Guess I’m Not Good Enough by Freyaatterton

I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt

I Will Soften Every Edge by losingmymindtonight

I’m Not Telling Him. Period by Scooter3scooter

Irondad NSAP by Chvotic

Irondad NSAP by Chvotic

Kids Suck, But You're Great by Gymlily06

Long Gone | Marvel Au Strangerlyparker

Play by Losingmymindtonight

Tech Of Non-Destructive Yakking by Wabisabi

The Reinvention Of Tony Stark by Losingmymindtonight

This Ride Is A Wild One  by Just_Ppeachy

What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal  by Finny3120

 ART 1 — DIGITAL MEDIA - Who has those PhotoShop skills, who makes the best mood boards? We have some wonderful artists in the Irondad fandom, and we’re here to celebrate them. Who's your favorite artist?

 @Itsybitsyspiderling (Tumblr)

@monireh (Tumblr)

@Blackchessknight (Tumblr)

 ART 2 — SKETCHES  — Who has the skills with the original medium of art in sketches? Whose pencil can create the characters we love best?

 @broskev (Tumblr)

@Dakt37 (Tumblr)

@monireh89 (Tumblr)

Ellarie.png (Instagram)

 ART 3 — CARTOONS — Chibis, Manga, Anime, who can create the very best?

 @Maryo274 (Tumblr)

yes-i-am-happyaspie (Tumblr)

 ART 4 — FANVID — Some of the greatest creators are the ones that match the music to the mood, find the perfect scenes to make us laugh and cry. Who does that for you?

 All My Life || Tony & Peter (Father/Son Au) by Akapotatogirl (YouTube)

Emsxworld (YouTube)

Tony Stark & Peter Parker | Ashes  by Mythicalroyalty (YouTube)

 ART 5 — BEST IRON FAMILY FANART — Who can create those feeling of Ironfam with their art? Who captures the characters we love in that iconic family.

 @broskev (Tumblr)

@moonestaly (Tumblr)

eccentric_artist_221b (AO3)

Ellarie.png (Instagram)

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 11

Silent scream

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n gets shut up

Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

"Fuck you." I snapped, mustering all the saliva I could before spitting it at his face. He flinched back when it splattered over his cheek, his fingers swiping through the spittle before he was shaking it from them and standing back to his full height.

"It appears this one is never going to cooperate. If she won't give us information, why let our experimentations on her possibly...benefit the girl the the future?" The general spoke menacingly to the guards behind me. "How about way find a way to shut her up?"

My heat thudded so hard in my chest it was like someone was punching me from the inside, all air knocked from my lungs before I was being hoisted up to my feet again with two rough grips on my upper arms. My chest heaving, I coughed a ragged breath before composing myself. The glint of the silver blade in the corner of my vision sent my eyes bugging out of my skull and my mind into a flat panic.

So, I did what any rational person with my capabilities would do. I began to hum the deep melody - one a seldom sung - and a smirk crawled its way onto my now curved lips. Clearly, the general was prepared, but the two guards behind we weren't so lucky.

A desperate cry pierced my tune, harmonising with my voice as I heard the havoc I was causing. This was the first time I'd enjoyed a kill, the very first time I'd wanted to use my powers for such a horrific reason. I'd only ever used this part of my power a few times, but this was the only time I'd been fully lucid whilst doing so.

Some people want nothing more than to blow their enemies' brains out, and trust me when I tell you; It felt good.

However, luck was never on my side, and the General had come full prepared. He wasn't even affected, it must've been something to do with the funny earpiece he was wearing.

As my eyes met his, the General's face held non of the cocky, smug tones that I'd expect. No, the only word I could use to describe his old and crinkled features was pure ire, and it was directed at me.

"You conniving, vile little bitch!" He snarled, the flash of silver weeding a sense of utter and complete dread, tangled with fear inside of me, uprooting my confidence. I don't remember a lot after that, to tell you the truth. I know the blade sliced along my throat. I know everything was rained black. And that's about it.

...

Awakening with a gasp was the last thing I expected to happen. The sight of the blade risen in front of the general burned into my mind, almost as if it'd been scorned against my flesh. But here I was: awake, gasping for breath, completely surrounded by doctors I'd never seen before.

My hand instantly flew to my neck, a stinging sensation pulsing from the delicate skin. I hissed as my sweaty palm made contact with the bandage, the material corse and scratchy against my skin. As a doctor waddled over to me, needle in hand, I flailed desperately, a silent scream ripping from my throat.

Hang on a second-

Silent scream? I tried again, the shrill noise that should be tearing from me simply vanishing as it hit my throat. My eyes widened with the realisation, my bottom lip wobbling as I suddenly pieces together what had happened.

He said he'd have to shut me up, didn't he? The thought made me want to scream loudly, that the blade had touched my skin and left me with no defence.

They took away the hell they'd reigned upon me, something I'd wished I could be rid of for years, and now I was disappointed. Maybe this was their plan all along, that little voice in my head sang. The tears pricked at my eyes, which rolled back lazily as the scratch of the needle poked at my neck.

...

My calloused fingers ran over the cut tirelessly, trying to itch somewhere that I could never seem to find. I don't know how long I was sedated for, but since waking up the bleeding had stopped and there was now an offensive red line that slid horizontally across my neck.

Every time I touched it, it coaxed a wince from me, and yet that's all I seemed to do. It was like poking a bruise, I guess. The more it hurts the more you want to do it.

They'd returned me to my cell, clearly very little need for restraints against my weakened, starved and dehydrated body. I could see the flesh thinning on my arms, my ribs pressing painfully against my skin. Not only could I see the hunger, but I could feel it.

Manifesting, biting, gnawing hunger. The type that are you from inside out, devouring everything of you until the only thing you could think about was eating. Huh, I guess I was already at that stage then.

My eyes remained locked in place, glossy with the endless tears as I stared at the floor. If I really looked hard enough, the still wet blood smeared over the floors of the hallway resembled something close to strawberry jam. The thoughts of the sickly sweat substance spread over a perfectly toasted piece of bread, accompanied with a big glass of fresh orange juice and washed down by a large coffee made my mouth water. The booming rumble in my stomach made the groan, even more drawn out than expected when I remembered all I'd get to eat today: a small bread roll and a tiny glass of water.

Sadly, the sink in my cell did not contain drinking water. The liquid was so discoloured that I purposely avoided washing me hands, preferring to possible have my own germs coating my hands than whatever they were giving me. I'm not kicking you about, I genuinely think the water was filtered through a clump of fucking horse shit, mixed with fish guts and complimented with a hint of rotting fruit. If I could help it, I'd be dodging that water like the plague (if it didn't contain one already) for the rest of my life.

I'm not really sure why, but my head snapped up in surprise why the door sprang open, a single guard entering.

"The general requires your presence." He deadpanned, eyes cold as eyes and sharp as a knife as they stabbed through me. I wanted to fight back, stay glued to the spot and snap back some snarky remark, but in my current condition I almost couldn't bring myself to care where I was about to be taken, or why for that matter.

I stood without a word, silently following the man until we reached an unfamiliar metal door. I found it almost laughable, really, that they'd reduced my strength so much, that no one even considered putting me any sort of restraints anymore.

The door was pushed open with a child-like whine emitting from its rusty hinges, the metal scraping over the concrete floor painfully. The guard simply grabbed my arm before tugging me into the room, letting the door shut behind his with a hollow thunk.

"Ah, she has arrived!" The general's voice exclaimed, a deviant smile spreading over his thin lips. "And just in time to meet Mr Pierce, too." He said menacingly.

I felt embarrassed, exposed, stood before the room of men. My hair was a mess, tears streaking my reddened face, eyes puffy from crying and the only clothes a wore was a now-battered hospital gown. My eyes darted around nervously, trying to avoid the blonde man sat before me, chin resting in his palm as he surveyed me.

"Why is this one...important?" The man asked, eyeing me up and down before his eyes seemed to fixate on my neck. The scar.

"This," the general spoke, but Mr Pierce kept his eyes on me, "is Miss y/n Stark." Mr Pierce's eyes widened ever so slightly, but it was barely noticeable.

"As in Tony Stark?" Pierce pondered.

"The very same." The general smirked.

"She seems awfully...quiet, for a Stark." Pierce said with almost a hint of disgust, eyes still glued to my shaking frame.

"That's because we shut her up." The general snapped, awfully harshly.

"Is that the scar? How fresh is it?" Pierce jabbed his questions, curiosity clearly becoming him in the moment.

"Indeed. Our doctors here are very good, Sir. They had her all patched up and out of bandages in just three days." The general bragged, shoulders back and head held high as if he was posing for a portrait.

"I see." Pierce mused, brows furrowed in thought. "What do you plan to do with her? Now that she can't tell you anything?"

"Oh, trust me, sir. She wasn't giving anything up either way," he paused, striding over to me and yanking my head back with a fistful of hair, my back mow  pressed to his chest and his mouth at my ear, "isn't that right, sweetheart?"he clarified, and I didn't hesitate to nod my head as much as his grip would allow.

"So why isn't she dead?" Pierce gritted, seemingly annoyed. "It's not like Tony's attached to her, he never looked for her and I've never even heard him mention her."

"But then they'll keep coming. I don't want the avengers on my back, and I'm sure you don't either." Pierce hummed in agreement. "She's with them - her and that Captain America guy arrived together - so why not use her to send a message?" The general suggested.

...

That's how I found myself tied up, wrists bound and gun to my head as I sat shakily in a chair in the middle of the quinjet. I had no clue how long I'd been since that day, but I do know that I had been sedated once again. The flimsy hospital gown allowed a shiver to chill me, skin  forming goosebumps as I sat before the open door or the quinjet.

"You will tell them exactly as I just did. Got it?" The general pressed, pushing the gun into my head hard enough to make by head throb. Tears biting at my eyes, I nodded furiously, now determined to live with the promise of being free again. "Good. Soldat, make sure she gets back to New York without being seen, I'd hate to have to spill more blood than we intended." The general demanded, a figure rustling its way out of the shadows at the edge of the room. A gasp tore from my throat at the sight of him - clad in black leather and arm as silver as the moon. The soldier - my soldier.

But he simple stared through me, eyes blank and clouded in a coldness I'd never had directed at me from him before.

"And make sure you don't fail this time, soldat." The general snapped. The soldier nodded solemnly, the echoing of boots thudding filling both their ears as the general walked off the ship.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Lovebug (13/14)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Notes: Feedback is very much appreciated :D

With attire alone, Levi was already a fish out of water.

As the seconds ticked though, his self consciousness only grew.

It wasn’t just an issue of clothing. Too many things had been against him the whole way to the dinner room. The white and silver of the windows of the private dinner room in the hotel reflected the setting sun, the marble floors, the glass bridge, the carpeted floors.

The scenery was only half the battle though. The men and women strode in and out of the dinner room with attire much grander than is. There were leather bags, the jewelry and constantly hovering in the air were the business vernacular that fell into one ear and out the order.

There were too many conversations on mergers, acquisitions, business climates, market prices he could never be part of. And his own direct companions weren’t making it any better.

As Levi soon understood, it wasn’t their job to make him feel comfortable anyway.

“Yelena,” he repeated, a memory exercise for himself. The whole journey from the convention center on the first floor to one of the rooms in the mid floor of the hotel was silent and long. In the sea of business pleasantries though, it seemed ironic that the blonde had never even made conversation beyond her own name.

Even as she sat next to him on the dinner table, she didn’t speak, not even bothering to respond to her own name. She was too close though, only a few inches away that Levi swore she had heard it.

“That’s your name right?” Levi added. He couldn’t think of much else to say. After blurting her name mindlessly, with Porco and Pieck seated just in front of him, looking at him expectantly, he knew he had to continue with something.

“I introduced myself back in the lobby already,” Yelena finally responded.

“You did,” Levi said.

“Is there anything you want to ask?” Yelena asked, no hint of benevolence in her tone.

Levi had been rolling on the bed, in and out of sleep the whole day. He didn’t trust himself to say anything else. He didn’t trust himself to think.

Yelene had a knowing look on her face, as if she knew something he didn’t. And she seemed to be enjoying it. Since a while ago, she hadn’t at all been subtle with the fact that somehow, by just their first meeting, Levi had managed to rub her the wrong way. It wasn’t too radical of an idea, that she may enjoy his pain.

Levi’s mind was suddenly racing, reminding him why he had even considered going in the first place. Is there anything you wanna ask?  Those words echoed for a while longer. The longer he sat there silently, the more restless he became. He avoided her gaze, looking behind her, then behind Porco and Pieck, taking in his surroundings again. He was observing mannerisms, branded bags, branded ties, branded purses and Zeke in the middle of all of it, going from one table to the other.

Eventually, after the discomfort settled, Levi realized he was torturing himself for a reason.

Hange wasn’t there. And he shouldn’t have needed that long look to notice it. But you’ve given up already? Right?

“You’re not going to eat?” Pieck was a lot more friendly. There was a huge difference between being polite and being friendly and Levi suspected, he was only seeing politeness as friendliness given the stark contrast of Yelena’s overall approach towards him

In the air, tension hung so thick. Levi didn’t notice a piece of bread and a bowl of soup had been served in front of him. “I will.” He immediately went for the spoon in front of him.

“That’s the spoon for the main course,” Yelena said.

“What?” By the second, Levi was starting to realize how disconnected he actually was. Around the soup, there were spoons, forks and knives in multiple sizes. In a panic, Levi had looked around to see it was the same for everyone else.

Yet, everyone else knew how to navigate such a complex design.

“The small one is the soup spoon.” Pieck was helpful at least. “No, that’s the tea spoon,” she added as she looked pointedly at the smallest one Levi had taken hold of.

Levi was familiar enough with tea to be familiar with the size of the teaspoon. At that point though, who cared what spoon he ate with? He wasn’t there to dine.

By some pride or just utter frustration at the whole situation, the spoon debacle was never solved and Levi never touched his soup that night. He closed himself off from everything else, keeping his world closed to anything but the entrance, Zeke, the crowds, and the one familiar face he wanted to see.

But Hange never showed up.

“She’s not coming. If that’s what you’re thinking.” Yelena could have been reading his mind.

“Who’s not coming?” Levi asked. He widened his eyes in mock surprise but he kept his voice toneless. In his mind, that seemed like a good balance to display both calm and disconnect.

Yelena never answered the question. Maybe she knew silence was the right answer, that is, if her attention had been to keep his insides boiling in frustration, his mind racing.

The grin on her face only proved it. Maybe that was her intention.

It only got worse though as the night dragged on and Levi noticed his own restlessness around the salad course that he could barely even look at.

He could barely coordinate his hands. His legs were trembling.

Those few moments he focused on evening out his breathing, he was able to grip the spoon, then the steak knife as the main course came in.

As if to add salt to whatever wound she had, Yelena commented abruptly. “It’s not everyday people like you will be able to get steak like this.”

The steak could have just been soft. Or Levi was recovering. One of those, he couldn’t be too sure. But it was a good steak. He could tell that much. It melted in his mouth and he had spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating how it was physically possible for steak to melt in his mouth.

Then suddenly the delectable steak rotted mid chew. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself.” It was as if Yelena was on a mission to be a total buzzkill. Maybe she was being paid by Zeke to do just that.

And she was doing a wonderful job. Levi almost choked on that last piece, his fork fell to his lap. In a bout of embarrassment, he stood up. “Toilet.”

Five minutes and an empty bladder later, whatever peace and calm he had managed to muster alone in the toilet completely dissipated. It seemed like that dinner was also on a mission to make him as miserable as possible even in a supposedly pleasant environment.

“Where’s my steak?” Levi put too much energy into keeping his tone as subdued as possible.

“Oh, you weren’t done?” Pieck asked, seeming genuinely curious.

He had only gotten two bites. Of course, he wouldn’t be done. He was close to raising his hand up to call the waiter until he was reminded, he didn’t even pay for the dinner. Did he even have the right to complain?

At that point, Levi was just a little ticked, his grumbling stomach at having missed three courses over his own discomfort and tense state was already catching up to him. “What made you think I was done?”

“You put your spoon and fork together, like this,” Pieck said. “That means you’re done with the course.” She organized her plate the same way Levi did, for just a second.

Maybe Levi had been too self conscious. In an attempt to seem more posh than he actually was, Levi had channeled his own fastidiousness into putting the utensils together before he left for the toilet.

“I would think someone who works in corporate would know this. This is standard fine dining,” Yelena said nonchalantly.

Fine dining for Levi meant a dinner at a cafe, or a sit down restaurant. The whole world that existed for the sake of fine dining, the course meals, the secret language he didn’t seem to understand felt completely unnecessary. And the longer they sat there as if deliberately keeping him in the dark while he starved, Levi only became more and more impatient.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t have known any better at first,” Levi said.

“I’ve been handling Zeke’s properties overseas for years so I’ve had my fair share of fine dining experience.” She then turned to Pieck and Porco who both nodded. “Even before that, my parents have taught me this. Have yours?”

Levi’s earliest memories of fine dining had been sit down restaurants, diners, nothing too fancy. He shook his head. “Well, I didn’t come here with the intention of dining. You put me on that list yourself, without even waiting for a reply.” He regretted it, as soon as he let it out. His grumbling stomach had him almost out of control.

Yelena raised one eyebrow. “Oh? Then why did you still come, Mr. Ackerman? The free food?”

Levi froze.

“The free food you barely even touched?” Yelena pressed.

And Levi stiffened up, much harder than he would have thought was ‘completely frozen.’

“You have some business to settle with Mr. Jaeger I’m guessing?”

“It’s none of your business.” Levi managed to say.

“I’ve been working for the Jaegers for years. I manage their overseas properties, a few apartments and houses here and there,” she said proudly.

“And?” Levi challenged. “Does that make you entitled to whatever other business Zeke has?”

That question was a response enough. Enough to get Yelena crack, her expression shifted from incredulous, to abrasive to subdued. One eyebrow raised, mouth twitching slightly. “I had to clean up the mess you two left behind.”

Mess? Levi had an inkling of an answer.

A clatter of metal on a plate. “Yelena! Not here,” Pieck said.

“Then we should talk outside then.” Yelena was half way to standing up, before she stopped herself.

Levi found himself following her gaze. The one view that had her frozen in her tracks had been Zeke and before Levi even knew it himself, he was just as surprised as Yelena.

“Should we retire early?” Zeke asked.

“Sir, you haven’t eaten yet,” Yelena argued.

Zeke shook his head. “I hold these dinners to find potential business partners, not to eat.” He turned to Pieck. “I think Pieck can take over from here. I’ll leave you to answer any questions about Jaeger healthcare holdings.”

Pieck nodded. “Yes sir, I’ll take over.”

“No hurry, everyone’s still busy with their meals…” Zeke looked pointedly at his surroundings at the other people. HIs staff table had been conveniently placed by the corner, and it didn’t seem at all like their conversation had been heard by everyone else.

Pieck and Porco were noticeably eating faster, seeming deep in thought. Back into business mode maybe, the caustic exchange of a while ago completely forgotten. Or at least they looked like they were attempting to forget it.

Not burdened with that same responsibility, Yelena didn’t seem to put up any facade. Her own antagonizing attitude towards Levi didn’t falter. Yet somehow, Zeke’s presence had kept her mum, subdued her to just venomous glares.

They exited the dinner hall and made their way out of the hallway, opening up to the open hotel lobby. “We can talk in my private suite,” Zeke said. “I don’t like having a lot of my conversations in public.”

Levi didn’t respond. The glances Yelena snuck him only made it harder to come up with anything more than a few mumbles which he was sure would only make him look pathetic in front of Zeke.

“Did you pay for the flight yourself?” Zeke asked.

Levi nodded. Where’s Hange? That thought tore into his mind so abruptly, Levi found himself having to clamp his mouth shut, much tighter than normal. He couldn’t trust himself to speak. God knows, he might end up asking just that cursed question.

“You’re quiet,” Zeke commented as they entered the elevator. “Did you enjoy dinner?”

Levi nodded and mumbled some hint of a yes.

Zeke raised his eyebrows. “Really what was your favorite course?”

The steak obviously. Even those words got caught somewhere in his throat, admitting to Zeke that he enjoyed the food seemed almost like flaunting himself naked.

Luckily—or unluckily, Zeke didn’t prod, instead going for another speech which made Levi regret keeping silent. “I hold dinners every night for PR, get the right potential partners to the same room, for my healthcare holdings, my supermarket holdings, my…” Zeke rattled on.

To Levi, it felt the blonde had just been jacking himself off instead of actually making conversation. Still, that gave Levi time to think.

Thinking turned out to be a bad thing.

Even before they arrived at the penthouse floor, Levi had to admit, the hotel was posh. The scent of new wood hung in the air, the marble finishings, the lamp made out of metals Levi suspected weren’t easy to acquire. And when they stepped from the elevator wing to the matted floor of the penthouse, whatever plush they used underneath greeted him in some strange manner.

Strangely, Levi felt guilty for dirtying something which he was completely aware was supposed to be dirtied anyway dealing with foot traffic everyday. Then the more they walked, the more self conscious he became of the way he was walking.

Zeke and Yelena both walked ahead with confident strides and Zeke never stopped talking. When Levi found himself listening, he noticed, Zeke's tirades only made the grand hall seem grander, a completely different world to Levi, something he wasn’t supposed to be in.

Was he a visitor. Hell, maybe not even a visitor. A slave? A serf?

“The convention is to attract potential resellers. We’re planning on reselling our research, our products, our technology, to this region...”

They walked towards the end of the hall, stopping in front of some fancy door only accentuated by the plush carpets and the decorative lamps.

“... And this city will be our hub…” It looked like Zeke had been too distracted by his own grand plans to even bother to open the door. It was fortunate then that Yelena had the key and that she knew her way into the presidential suite.

They settled on the sofa in the living rooms, the first room past the foyer.

“We’ll set up office space... Maybe a building...”

It was around then that Levi noticed he hadn’t been offered a seat but he didn’t mind it too much. The multiple sitting rooms, the wide window to one side that gave a good view of the infinity pool on the balcony, and beyond that, a view of the city.

Did Hange get to swim? Levi looked out for a while longer and he couldn’t look away. The longer he looked, the easier it became to imagine her leaning over the infinity pool in her purple bathing suit.

“It will cost a few million dollars…”

Just like in the country club.

“Levi, you want to go for a swim?”

Levi coughed, an instinctive movement. “Sorry… Excuse me, what?”

Zeke looked very unimpressed. It was obviously a joke. “For gods sake, sit down. It’s distracting just watching you stand awkwardly.”

“So why did you invite me here?” Levi asked. If not to listen to you ramble. He added silently to himself.

“I think I have a right to answer first,” Zeke said. He nodded to Yelena. The latter walked away and back to the kitchen. “Why are you here? Don’t tell me you’re here for the convention?”

“What if I am?”

Zeke spared a small grin. He leaned back on the sofa and looked to the side, as if sharing an inside joke with himself. “And do you have plans of investing?”

Millions of dollars. Those three words echoed in Levi’s head. He didn’t have that money and he most likely never would.

Zeke didn’t give him time to speak. “Figures,” he muttered. “So why did you come here?” He asked in a clearer voice.

“You invited m---”

“I wouldn’t have invited you if you weren’t here already,” Zeke said.

Yelena chose that moment to come in between them, a wine bottle on one hand, two wine glasses on the other. Her movements were too casual, the fine dining positions of a while ago seemed almost like a facade.

Zeke gave a nod in thanks. “Sit where you’re comfortable.”

Yelena didn’t hesitate. She settled on one of the sofa chairs, a comfortable distance between them. She mirrored Zeke’s own expression, a mix between mocking and expectant.

It only became harder to speak. When Levi was weighing between speaking up and staying mum, he found, as painful as it was to continue speaking, the outcome seemed more desirable.

At least in his head.

“What’s wrong? Can’t tell me why you visited my convention?” Zeke took a sip of the wine. “Unless it’s something… controversial? Embarrassing? Offensive?.”

Levi felt his skin crawl. Not completely in control of his body, he almost feared his facade cracking and not noticing it. He cleared his throat. “I was going to speak.” He paused, using that moment, to meet Zeke’s eyes. “It’s about Hange.”

“What about my Hange?” Zeke had put too much emphasis in those last two words, it seemed almost out of place. In one sleek movement, he straightened up on his seat and tightened his grip on his wine glass

It was as if Levi was walking on Zeke’s territory, completely unwelcome. And Levi was starting to notice that. He shook his head and softened his voice, a subtle peace offering. “I had plans for the emotion alarm, I wanted to discuss them with Hange, get her opinion---”

“Erwin hasn’t told you yet?” Zeke put down his wine glass. “We’re terminating the contract.

It was like a ton of bricks fell on him. His stomach followed suit. Levi went for his wine glass and took a long sip which quickly turned into a gulp then he let out a cough. Water would have done a much better job to clear the tickle in the throat, the pang in his chest and the hollowness in his chest that followed. But he wasn’t going to ask for water in Zeke’s territory yet.

A ninety five percent chance of termination. Erwin had said back in their meeting.

“So it’s final?” Levi asked. The crushing disappointment had been enough proof that Levi had been vouching on that five percent.

Zeke nodded once. “Hange won’t be bothering you anymore. We’ll find another developer for her to work with.”

“I was working on some plans. They’re suggestions I was hoping she’d consider. If I---”

“Levi, can you send it over through email? Do you have to talk to her?”

Levi felt the blood rush to his face. He bent his head down almost immediately, focused on his shaking hands that were only gripping his knees tighter. He dug his nails into his knees, as if that would be enough to stop the shaking. “No, I don’t need to.” It could have come out as an exhale or an actual response.

“Well, that makes things easier. You know, she doesn't want to see you.” Zeke’s voice was painfully casual.

Levi looked up again, regretting it almost immediately. Zeke had a look of triumph on his face. It had only served to piss Levi all the more that Zeke had tried to hide it behind a nonchalant face. Seeing the small smile that decorated his lips, Levi dug his nails deeper into his knees. “Then why?”

“Why what?” Zeke pressed. “Why doesn't she want to see you?” His voice was getting colder and colder with each word. They twisted into an almost malevolent sneer.

“Why invite me here?” Levi asked, his voice clipped. Grappling with both Zeke’s attitude and the revelation on Hange’s feeling, Levi was finding it harder to speak.

“So you came because you were invited then?” Zeke took another sip. “And how were you invited?”

Does he expose Hange? And maybe Levi had taken too long vacillating.

Zeke had ended up answering the question himself. “An email? A support ticket with a flyer? Spam mail?” He took another sip. “You and your company have your very techy love alarm. And I have my own version too, my very old fashioned love alarm.” He gestured in front of him, right at Levi. “And it’s ringing in front of me right now.”

It took a few more seconds for Levi to understand it.

Zeke was either impatient. Or probably he thought Levi was a total idiot. He bent forward, leaned his elbows on his knees and dropped his wine glass on the wooden table with a loud clack.“Tell me, why would you go all the way here, over a fake email?” he asked. “Her name really was enough for you to book a plane ticket and fly across the ocean?”

Levi didn’t respond.

And it looked like Zeke didn’t need an answer anyway. He waved one hand in front of him and rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you’ve been in the corporate world long enough to know, there are meetings that could have been emails yet you still chose to take a plane and come here.”

“Do you want me to write an email?” Levi asked.

Zeke shrugged. We don’t need your input. This project...it’s mine and Hange’s.”

Yours and Hange’s? He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, as if that slow and subtle movement had been enough to quell the fire in his chest. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s our project. It’s my gift to Hange.”

What does that make me? Levi didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t even want that instinctive jaw drop, the twitch in his mouth that followed to expose what the hell he was thinking.

“You’re merely someone paid to do the work.” Zeke continued, as if he had heard Levi's silent question.

Levi didn’t even feel it. He wasn’t even completely aware it happened until Zeke’s eyes widened for a split second in surprise, then narrowed again, shifting instead to one could have been pure fury.

But Levi didn’t care. Even when looking down had revealed, he spilled wine all over the lush carpet. The wine glass had hit the table, scattering pieces of broken glass on the table and over the floor.

It would be a bitch to clean up. Levi didn’t care about that either, it wasn’t his mess. It wasn’t his fucking presidential suite.

Zeke just had more practice in the diplomacy department. “Why do you feel it necessary to stand up and cause such a ruckus?”

The calmness had Levi’s blood boiling more violently inside him. He could only be grateful that the breaking the wine glass had released some of that pent up energy.

Zeke was only making it harder and harder to stay still. “I’m only stating facts. The money I put into it makes it mine. The fact that you’re being paid to do it. The fact that you even signed an employment contract relinquishes all ownership you have of all the projects you do in the company. You of all people should know that. I can’t even believe I need to school someone like you on this. You can’t even keep yourself together.”

Levi looked away, back at the view of the balcony, the glowing city. How much of it was owned by people who knew nothing about construction, architecture or just the hard work that went into even making such a view possible? A tiny injustice that surfaced in Levi’s mind as he let Zeke’s words sink in. “With all due respect... ” His last few words came out softer than expected. But Levi had seemed almost confident with them. “...You know jackshit about coding or psychology.”

Soon, Levi gripped enough of that new found confidence to take control of the conversation. “You know nothing about how any of that shit works. You didn’t stay up all night working on that damn application. I’ll fucking bet my whole life savings you don’t even know how this application works.”

“Ackerman, watch your mouth!” It was Yelena who spoke, looking as if she had just recovered from shock, eyes wide, her own wine glass on the table.

Levi cleared his throat. “Once again, with all due respect.” He was mildly aware then, that he may have raised his voice. Zeke was surprisingly—almost admirably calm. He put one hand as if to stop Yelena and spoke up. “And does ‘knowing jackshit’ make me less of an owner?”

That was a question that Levi couldn’t answer. He regretted losing control. In shock, or in some punishment which only the inner workings of his mind understood, Levi could only stand still, unable to even sit back down.

Zeke stared at him accusingly. “Mr. Ackerman…” he started. “You don’t believe there’s any dignity in the labor of moving money around? Investing and reinvesting?”

Levi felt shame wash over him.

It was a strange state to be in. There was more than enough dignity in being a billionaire, in being one of the top one percent who just bought and sold whatever they got their hands on. It was an inarguable fact that society thought highly of the top one percent regardless of where they got their money. Yet Zeke had a way of speaking that made Levi reflect the validity of his own words, any disrespect or any backhanded insult he could have been sending to anyone else.

Levi knew he was being manipulated but he couldn’t seem to point out how.

Maybe it had been the way Zeke had opened his eyes, his face a mix of confusion, hurt, with a hint of derision. Or maybe everything had been Levi’s imagination and once again he was faced with the prospect that maybe he didn’t mean it.

“That…” That wasn’t what I meant.

At that point, Zeke had stood up and at that difference of height and difference of social status, Levi had to bite his tongue, not to lose his composure.

Zeke though seemed to know he had taken control of the conversation. “You’re trying to cover your ass?”

“Cover… my ass?” Levi said that last word with a little more venom in his mouth. Somehow, the eloquent Zeke suddenly putting so much force into one single curse only added to the tension of that moment.

“Trying to justify your own mistakes by emphasizing your own superiority. It’s a very common tactic. You’re not the first to employ it.”

“I never---”

“You should be thanking me. I’ve been treating you fairly, paying you for your hard work. And on top of that, I’ve tolerated the transgressions, even putting more money unnecessarily into covering this up.” Zeke said. He walked towards the kitchen island, pulling an envelope from next to the telephone and slamming it on the counter. He wasn’t motioning though for Levi to come.

Levi preferred to stay frozen, just standing between the sofa and the coffee table. But when Zeke opened the envelope, pulling out pictures, and a few pages which he waved on the air and slammed on the table, Levi’s curiosity peaked.

Levi covered the distance in so short an amount of time, he never figured out if he seemed too desperate.

In hindsight, it wasn’t important. The contents of the papers, the pictures bundled together by paper clips had only been a more pressing matter.

Zeke’s words only confirmed it. “You went on a road trip up north on Hange’s birthday?”

“We did,” Levi said. There wasn’t much else he could have said to deny it. The evidence was too overwhelming— blurred pictures, screenshots of comments online in threads, subthreads, all speculating Hange’s side relationship.

“No use denying it. Yelena made a call to our employees in our estate up north. They mentioned Hange’s companion when she visited.”

“But we didn’t do anything…”

Zeke raised one eyebrow as if he had caught them in the act. “I’m not accusing you of it. But what would you say in your defense? When the Love Alarm rings, when you book a double room in a motel and when you’re together, almost inseparable in all of these pictures,” Zeke spread the photos on the table, shots of them in the motel, in the train station, in Zeke's house. “Hange isn’t a high profile person. It never made the news, Yelena and I made sure of that but people talk, anyone familiar with the tech world and particularly interested in it, would know how our family looks like."

It was funny, how anger could so easily sour to shame. At that moment, Levi considered disappearing an almost welcome development. Zeke pushed the pictures nearer to him, in one messy pile, the screenshots on comments, mentioning words like ‘misters,’ ‘paramours,’ ‘who’s the man???’ “We purged the internet of all photos, no names. Some people repost but I have people watching and reporting. This isn’t cheap.”

I’m sorry. Levi’s first instinct was to apologize, the adamance of a while ago almost completely forgotten. But sorry’s wouldn't work. “How much? I’ll pay what I can.”

Zeke scoffed. “Can you?”

Levi couldn’t think up much to say. He scanned his eyes over the comments at first to feign business, an excuse not to speak up. The more he looked, the more engrossed he got at lines of comments. Others towards him, then as he turned the pages, they were all towards Hange.

Slut. Whore. Low life. Cheater.

“I’ll pay what I can,” Levi said.

“How much are you willing to shell out? A hundred grand?”

That was a huge chunk of Levi’s annual earnings already. He wasn’t one to disclose salary though. He kept his mouth a thin flat line and nodded.

Zeke shook his head. “I’ll be generous, considering all the inconvenience you’ve caused both of us. While you're here, humor me,” he said. “I may not be a coder or a psychologist but I’m sure, there are things I can teach you. If you’re willing to shell out a hundred grand, let’s gamble with it. I haven’t had a good game in a while.”

“A good game?”

Zeke turned to Yelena. “Can you be a dealer again?”

“You plan on playing heads up?” Yelena asked,

“We have a table in one of the private rooms, why not?”

“Heads-up poker?” Levi clarified. There was only one game heads up that the two could have been referring to, mentioning terms like ‘deal.’

Zeke didn’t even bother to answer the question either for lack of consideration for Levi or just an expectation that Levi may have understood.

Levi didn’t live under a rock and he was very much familiar with the game. He had played a few games on online poker sites back in college.

Still, he moved a little sluggishly behind his two companions. Levi could have just been a little too wary or Zeke could have been out for blood.

The stakes then and there were completely different. For one, he had never bet almost a year’s worth of his own salary on a single game. He had never played with anyone whose net worth was a thousand, or maybe even a million times his own.

At that moment, Levi felt like a total beginner and it was as if hesitation clipped every single moment he managed to pull out of himself. There wasn’t too much he was expected to do but watch as Yelena prepared a few playing cards then chips.

Zeke made himself comfortable right in front of Levi. “Willing to bet a hundred grand?” he said those last words with an ominous smile on his face.

Levi sensed danger, but he couldn’t sense any proper way out either. He owed Zeke, he knew that much, whether it be for the money or the utter disrespect he had been treating him with since a while ago. Maybe he owed Zeke for more than that, for any inconvenience Zeke may have experienced at Levi having gotten a little too close to Hange.

Levi admitted, even just to himself, he had been a little too close to Hange for either of them to have been comfortable. Guilt, a sense of duty or just hyper awareness of everything all at once had Levi conceding, “Do I pay now?”

“We play with chips first,” Zeke responded.

Yelena dropped colored stacks of chips in front of them. Levi counted reds, blues, yellows, browns.

“You should have a hundred thousand worth,” Yelena said. “Do you know the colors?”

“Yes, just a bit.” Dabbling into online poker for a few months at least, Levi had enough experience to tell the browns as five thousands, the light blues as two thousand and the rest had inferred for himself from the amount of chips in front of him. He looked up to see that Zeke had a noticeably larger stack. “That looks like a lot more than a hundred grand,” Levi noted.

Zeke didn’t answer immediately and the flicker of realization came quicker, quick enough to have Levi coughing in surprise. The odds were against him.

“It is,” Zeke said as he counted his own chips, as if it wasn’t plain and utter cheating or even deception that he had a glaringly higher amount of chips than Levi. He slipped the chips towards the side and looked questioningly at Levi.

What had Hange told him back then in the golf course?

Zeke likes winning...But the way he goes about winning is like...He’s always been smart about it, always playing safe.

And what a better way to play safe than to have a larger pile than your opponent.

Zeke spoke up. “Hange and I, we’d play games with business partners while talking contracts and logistics. And Hange always said this about games. They teach things and sometimes they expose parts of ourselves… And the more I played with Hange, whether it be mahjong, blackjack, golf, or chess, I started to notice something. Games are a mirror of life, almost a clear reflection of what you deal with in business and in relationships.”

Zeke paused for a second and closed his eyes as if deep in thought. The room filled with the sound of shuffling of cards, the sound of the clack of chips as Zeke ran his hand over the brown ones, tapping them over the wooden round table in stilted and deafening movements.

“Poker is one of my favorite games. Like business, you base your decision on three things… Tells, numbers and circumstances,” He paused for a few seconds longer and he could have been expecting Levi to speak.

Levi didn’t look up though, instead using the brief silence to make sense for himself the amount of chips on his side.

Zeke spoke again. “Yelena, shuffle up and deal. We’re playing heads up. Our small blind is five hundred dollars and our big blind is one thousand dollars,” he said coldly. “I hope that isn’t too much money.”

In truth, that was enough money to make Levi’s stomach turn. Zeke’s manner didn’t look like it welcomed any protest though, so Levi merely nodded as some weak reply.

A weak nod could have sufficed as a response. Zeke turned to Yelena. “Give our valued guest the dealer button.”

The dealer plays the small blind. Levi counted five hundred dollars worth of chips and pushed it in front of Zeke.

Two cards lay in front of him, care of Yelena. Levi had played before and he was familiar at least with what a good hand would have looked like. In one swift movement, he held the cards in front of him.

Ten of Clubs and Nine of Clubs. With just one look, he knew he could complete either a flush or a straight.

If the board plays to his advantage.

Zeke tutted. “It’s not considered good practice to lift the cards. Most poker players would just raise the corner just high enough to see their own cards.” He demonstrated that exact same movement, only raising high enough that he could get the contents cards with one glance. “You’ve never played on the board?”

“I’ve played for a few months online,” Levi muttered. He would look back at that experience with little animosity. After all, a few months dabbling with bets online and just applying what little he learned from his statistics class had seemed like an overall enriching experience at first. Then and there, on the board, with thousands of dollars at stake, Levi felt utterly vulnerable. Like a beginner. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, someone with only months worth of casual experience was a beginner.

And Zeke held a glaring advantage, something Levi couldn’t so easily brush away. Levi’s own instinct, his own experience with odds had him considering raising. Just for a second. When Zeke was staring at him though, his own pile much bigger than Levi, Levi could only weigh between two decisions, fold and give up that hand or match Zeke’s bet.

It’s still a good hand anyway. “Call,” Levi said, matching Zeke’s bet.

By the way that Zeke was looking at him though, Levi knew he was probably not playing on the board properly. Zeke spoke up. “Tells. One important concept in both poker and business is tells,” he explained. “The way you carry yourself tells me you never played on the board. Am I correct?”

“Yes.” There was no use denying it but Levi didn't have to spare him a long answer.

Zeke dropped five purple chips on the table. “Raise to 2500.”

There was value in those chips, his lifestyle, his savings. And for a split second, he saw an abyss. He had spent too much on a flight ticket, a hotel room, just all the food he had been eating in that town. Then another year's worth of income on stake, reduced to chips.

By some strange instinct, by some adrenaline rush, Levi had managed to brush it away, reducing whatever stakes to the few chips on the board. And he was grateful for the power of delusion. By god, if he didn’t have at least a sliver of self-delusion, he could have folded right then.

“Call,” Levi said, once again matching Zeke’s bet. He needed to calm down. It wasn’t a loss yet, the game hadn’t even started.

There was hope in whatever cards Yelena was shuffling. She spread the first three on the table.

“We call that a flop,” Zeke said. “Just in case you didn’t know.” And of course Levi knew, he had played online long enough to pick up some terms. With the grin on Zeke’s face, a far cry from a face more appropriate for a game of poker, Levi was certain Zeke was provoking him. “I know what a flop is,” Levi said, running his eyes over the three cards.

Ace of clubs. Seven of Clubs. Eight of Hearts.

Levi started to calculate. He had 2500 dollars, a months worth of basic living expenses on the line. He wondered if it would have felt better just dropping the one hundred grand to Zeke from the start. There was something notably more painful and more terrifying about the possibility of watching his money whittle away slowly.

“During business meetings, I like to tell which topics, which specific products make my business partners uncomfortable, when dealing with stakeholders, with employees. I like to take a few quick guesses on the backgrounds of the people in front of me, to see whether they’re worth dealing with in the long term. ” Zeke explained. “How they handle pressure…”

Was that a threat? A challenge? Maybe it was. Levi was suddenly morbidly aware that he had licked his lips, that his hand shook as he took another peek at his cards.

He had a chance for a straight. But what would Zeke have? And Levi had made the mistake of looking at Zeke then.

“Another ‘tell’, your eyes widened just there. You have a pair? A potential straight? For someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, Hange does a much better time hiding than you do.” Zeke had deliberately put more emphasis on the word Hange.

If Levi hadn’t frozen solid, tensed up by the shoulders with Zeke’s almost accurate guess, the word Hange had done the trick to make Levi terribly, terribly self conscious. In an instinctive moment, Levi bent his head down, raised one hand in an attempt to cover his own eyes, only to realize a second later with his hand halfway to his eyes, that that had done worse to even show that he had something to hide.

“You don’t have to hide it. We all know already, you’re in love with Hange.”

Levi had accepted that part already. If he had been in complete denial at that moment, maybe he would have lost himself in Zeke’s accusing glare.

“Are you going to deny it?” Zeke dropped an alarming number of yellow and purple chips. “Raise to four thousand.”

Levi let out a sound, a combination between a no and a quiet huff and he matched Zeke’s bet.

“A month ago I heard from the staff in our summer house up north mentioning the man, who always followed closely behind Hange, the man who so willingly got a single bed hotel with her, the man in the train station who sat close to Hange Zoe,” Zeke said. “People talk, Levi. Did you consider that? And I thought to myself back then, maybe, it could have been a coincidence but Hange had her own tells as well. When Hange saved you from drowning, did you know she didn’t want to let go?”

Yelena put one more card down. Two of diamonds.

“This is a convenient turn card ,” Zeke commented. “If you have a nine, or a ten, you have a chance at a straight. Have you calculated?” He raised one eyebrow.

Levi didn’t answer. Hell, anything he did say could probably be taken against him.

“Hange would have. When we played, she would babble on about statistics. Everytime she held out a hand, completely beating me, she would babble all the calculations in her head. She has always been quick witted, intelligent, clever. That’s why I fell in love with her too.” He had said that part louder, more confidently and so matter-of-factly, and Levi was reminded he would never have that same confidence to say those words about Hange, even if he would have meant it.

There was a clack of poker chips. Four thousand dollars? Levi counted. He looked towards the pile next to Yelena. He had four thousand dollars there already. A total of eight thousand dollars on the table, months worth of rent for most.

From the expectant look on Zeke’s face, Levi was expecting he’d only go higher. Do I fold? But maybe with the excruciating mentions of Hange, that was something Zeke had wanted him to do. In a sliver of weak protest, Levi matched the bet, his own bet up to eight thousand dollars.

He needed a jack or a six for a straight. But why was Zeke easily dropping bets? Did he have something better?

“Let’s consider numbers in real life. Even with how you and Hange were acting, I thought I could give you the benefit of the doubt. When the alarm rang, when you and Hange accepted it as truth, I realized my suspicions might be right. Hange might actually be attracted to you, she might actually love you. So what does that mean for me?” Zeke was once again playing with his chips.

Five thousand dollars worth? Levi thought loudly to himself as he counted the chips.

A bluff? Levi’s mind was racing. Zeke’s own words were deliberately or even just half heartedly disturbing. But there wasn’t much else he could do, four thousand dollars were on the line. Zeke proved to be confident at least with his own hand.

Bluffs happened, Levi played enough to be aware that people did put more than enough money than necessary just to scare people into folding. Another surge of protest later, Levi had matched the bet, putting his total bet at eleven grand.

The final card on the board was a jack and Levi didn’t have to look back at his own cards to confirm it. He had a straight. When Zeke had bet ten grand in chips, it had been much easier to call.

Soon the cards were revealed, an Ace and a King. Zeke had the strongest pair.

But Levi had a straight. He took the pot, more than a total of twenty thousand dollars, more than enough to offset his whole trip. When Levi looked up at Zeke, he regretted it almost instantly.

The latter didn’t seem at all affected by losing over twenty thousand dollars. “Circumstances, the most powerful tool but the easiest to control with the right resources. ” Zeke said, as if that had been the explanation for his own strange behavior. “It’s only natural when the person I’m married to starts running off with another man, I’d feel threatened. When she started working on the love alarm and I noticed she was happier, happier than I’ve ever seen her before. Then she was crankier than I’ve ever seen her before, then sadder. I wondered, what was our head developer doing to make Hange like that.”

Nothing. Fall in love with her? There weren’t too many things which could have fit what was starting to seem like a redundant question, so once again, silence was the best response.

Yelena spread the deck of cards over the table and Levi instead focused on dropping the new blind and appreciating the deft manner at which Yelena ran her hands over the cards.

He wasn’t in any state to be mesmerized by cards though.

Zeke’s voice echoed in the room. “Levi, I asked you a question.”

“What did I do, you mean?” Levi asked. That was the last thing he remembered and it had seemed almost redundant, not worth an explanation. Zeke shook his head. “Do you think she’s in love with you?” A strange question to ask someone, too personal. Zeke had a way of speaking that demanded answers.

Levi’s mind was working faster, vacillating between answering or not. He thought back to the ringing of the love alarm, Hange’s words up in the tower. Hange seemed happier, then crankier, then sadder, than I’ve ever seen before. “That’s for Hange to decide, right?” Levi said.

Zeke’s voice was suddenly softer as if they had released a sigh with his words. “Considering circumstances though, I was assured Hange can’t just leave.”

That last word had peaked Levi’s interest. “Leave?” He repeated.

“Even if your love alarm is correct, even if by some chance she loved you, and she didn’t love me, Hange can’t leave. I made sure of that. I’ve covered my bases.”

Covered your bases? Levi bent his head down, hiding that incredulous look that forced itself out of him.

“I paid for her research. I paid for the emotion alarm. I paid for the media embargo so your photos wouldn’t get printed.  I paid for everything, our home, our trips. Hange can’t just leave, after I put so much into this relationship right?”

Yelena dealt a new set of his cards and Levi pulled his new cards towards him and took a peak.

Eight of hearts. Three of hearts. Shitty hand with a potential for a flush.

Zeke slipped the new cards towards him. “She’s not going to leave. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, why are you still hurting yourself over this. Why don’t you give up?”

“There’s nothing to give up. I wasn’t holding on to anything.” Those words had been surprisingly easy to say. “Hange married you. I went here to talk to her, nothing more than that.”

“You could have sent an email. You could have sent it through Erwin. Why come here yourself?” Zeke’s words were suddenly ringing through his ear.

“Why are you so bothered by me showing up? You didn’t have to invite me here,” Levi said, and somehow, a cathartic release that came with those words.

The shocked almost speechless expression on Zeke’s face, a far cry from the calm, poker face of a second ago, sent a rush of confidence over Levi

Maybe there were things he knew about Hange that Zeke didn’t. Levi continued “I don’t understand why you had to go through all this trouble, covering the embargo, sending Hange away, buying the emotion alarm. Even if you didn’t cover your bases, even if you give Hange all of that, she wouldn’t have left you. She really believes she’s in love with you.” She’s a prideful prick that way. He added silently to himself.

“What do you know about Hange? You only met her months ago.”

Long enough to feel like I’ve known her my whole life. If his words could have at least been enough to ensure some happiness for Hange in the future, it was worth a shot. “You should have just trusted her. You take in the most free-loving person I have ever met as your partner and you trap her by hanging all that over her head? That’s not how to love someone like Hange.”

“Who are you to tell me how to love the person I’m married to?”

This time, it was Levi’s turn to ask a question. “Do you love Hange?”

“More than you’re capable of understanding,” Zeke answered venomously, as if it was an attack on Levi.

Somehow, of all the things, an attack on his own ignorance didn’t feel like anything at all. Levi was confident, he wasn’t ignorant. “Hange really believes love is a choice, love is freedom. And you think the best way to love her is to tie her down with money and gifts? With circumstance?”

“You can’t assume that.”

“Then why do you have to make her feel guilty? Why do you give her everything just so she won’t leave? Why are you assuming she’ll leave the moment she gets the chance?”

One hand on the table, and the table rocked, the pile of chips Levi had meticulously organized fell in one crash, the few others as they slid amongst each other, colors mixing amongst one another.

Yelena was the first to speak. “Focus on the game, Ackerman.”

“Check.” He didn't have the best hand. As the river opened up to reveal a potential for a flush, he still thought it worth a shot.

Zeke pushed a huge pile of chips to the front. “Raise to a hundred thousand dollars.” Almost all of Levi’s available funds.”

“Fold,” Levi said.

The button switched. Levi and Zeke dealt their blinds again. Yelena dealt another two cards. And the game continued.

Carefully raising the corners of his pair, Levi noted a three of spades and a queen of hearts. Even before Yelena had dealt the river on the table, Zeke had already pushed his pile to the middle. “Raise to a hundred thousand dollars.”

Levi couldn’t win, and just like the hand before, he folded.

It continued with that same pattern for the next ten hands. Zeke started to bait him, going all in towards the fourth hand, enough for Levi to lose all his savings, and Levi would fold. Hands later, Levi had lost the winnings of the first hand, he had absorbed a net loss. Zeke’s large pile was starting to seem more ominous.

Circumstances. The word started to hold more gravity as Levi reflected the unfairness of it all. Zeke wouldn't have minded putting one year’s worth of Levi’s salary in a single round, he had more than enough to spare.

You can’t win against money. What the hell was he thinking, giving up his blinds every single time. Zeke obviously bluffed a few times. No one would be lucky enough to have a streak of good hands.

But which hand? Levi thought loudly to himself, as if by some miracle, a god-sent answer could echo in his head.

“We can do this all night,” Zeke said, his composure once again collected, the exchange of a while ago forgotten.

Levi lost track of the number of hands. A quick look at his chips only made him realize he had forty thousand dollars left. Did he lose that much by just folding?

He would lose a hundred dollars that night if he continued playing but when he willed it, he realized was ready to lose that money. But the more Zeke played, the more he spammed all ins, the more urgent the loss started to seem.

It took a few more handsfor Levi to gather the courage to play, even with the stakes completely against him. Levi spared some thought to calculation, taking from Zeke’s rulebook.

Tells.

Zeke wore a poker face...Nothing there.

Circumstances

He had to do something fast, or risk losing all his money.

Numbers

Most importantly, statistics were on his side. He had opened his new hand to find a pair of aces.

Ace of Clubs. Ace of Spades. Statistically, the best poker hand. He could easily win everything back.

Then came the first three cards.

Ace of Diamonds. Queen of Diamond. Nine of Clubs.

“Raise to ten thousand dollars,” Zeke said.

Three of a kind, with the strongest cards. “Call,” Levi responded.

The next card was dealt. Ten of diamonds.

“Bet twenty thousand dollars,” Zeke said.

“Call,” Levi said again, pushing his pile of chips to the middle of the world. He couldn’t be too sure how he looked then. Were his hands shaking? It wasn’t a graceful movement for sure. He had to push his pile to the middle with three clumsy movements while Zeke did it in one elegant push.

But Levi noted the subtle way at which Zeke raised his eyebrows before they met eyes. And for one second, Levi allowed himself a long stare, a slight movement of his lips, nothing close to a smile. If that one expression would be enough for Zeke to fold and give up everything, it was worth a try.

It wasn’t.

Yelena dropped the last card on the board. An Ace of hearts.

“Raise to one hundred thousand dollars,” Zeke said, notably louder than every other time before.

Enough to make Levi jump, enough for him to doubt. He snuck another look at his cards. Four of a kind. You’re fine. Why was his heart still beating wildly? Why was meeting Zeke’s eyes for a while longer such a harrowing experience?

It’s a poker face. People do this when they play poker. Levi told himself and the longer he was able to convince himself that Zeke knew what he was doing. And maybe it had always been good practice to stay calm, even when everything was stacked against you.

“Showdown,” Yelena said.

Or maybe Zeke just wasn't that connected, especially since nothing much was at stake for him.

It could have been all those guesses, or it could have been the ugly one that opened up in front of them right then and there.

And it looked like Zeke had figured it out first. “Have you heard of the term bad beat?”

Levi was taking longer than usual to make sense of the cards, much slower than usual and maybe it had been the exhaustion of calculating the past almost countless hands.

“There is roughly a four thousand to one chance of getting a four of a kind. But sometimes, people have something better than that… Not often but… It’s still worth considering.”

Something better. And when Levi was considering every hand better than a four of a kind, it became much easier to scan the river then Zeke’s hand for the answer.

Zeke had two cards: King of Diamonds and Jack of Diamonds. A Royal Flush.

“There’s a six hundred thousand to one chance of actually getting a royal flush. First one in my life.” Zeke could have been genuinely amazed, but that big ham reaction had been more than enough to piss Levi off.

It made it difficult to sit still.

“When you consider circumstances, you introspect, you strategize and you pray for a little luck,” Zeke said. “Believe me, you had every other chance to win before. I went all in with the worst cards and you folded every single time. Are you that terrified of losing a few thousand dollars?”

Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Levi corrected in his head. An annual salary’s worth. And maybe that was the point Zeke had wanted to make. By circumstances alone, Zeke had manipulated Levi's choice.

Zeke smirked. “Circumstances rely on luck too and luck is a funny thing. Even if you play everything correctly, you can still lose. Life’s unfair isn’t it.”

“You had less to lose than I did,” Levi said, his lip trembling. “That’s all there is to it. If you lost all the money, you would have put more in.”

“I would have,” Zeke admitted.

“I was playing a losing game.”

“At least you got the lesson. These are your circumstances. Every life lesson everyone should have learned from birth, life isn’t fair. I’m surprised you’re expecting that from a casual game.”

“I never said that. I knew I was playing a losing game and I expected that.” It had taken all his effort to keep his reaction unreadable, and god he wished he had managed it every other time before. “Thank you for the food. Thank you for the game. Thank you for covering for me and Hange.”

With the game over, it didn't look like he felt compelled to wipe that smug grin off his face. And there were things Levi wished he could tell Zeke, and maybe it was worth the risk. “One last thing, I don’t agree with you about relationships, businesses being like games. Loving isn’t a game. When you give all this money to Hange do you expect her to give back? You expect to be able to manipulate relationships through circumstance alone?"

“I told you Ackerman, don’t tell me how to love my partner.”

"I don't have enough fucks to give for every single person in this world. I’m not telling you how to love the person you married because I actually give a fuck about your love life. I’m only telling you how to love your partner because your partner just so happens to be Hange and Hange’s a free bird. She doesn't deserve at all to be loved like that. Don't cage her in with circumstances. Don’t tie her down with money, with a debt of gratitude.” He pushed his seat back and walked away.

“Where are you going?”

“I need some fresh air.”

The sliding door wasn’t locked. He forced it open gently then too hard, enough to make it rattle, He gave one was long look at the infinity pool then leaned his arms on the balcony railings. He took a deep breath.

And that reprieve was just a little too short. It turned out Yelena followed behind him, a piece of paper in hand. “Zeke’s bank details,” she said.

That had seemed too abrupt. But really, what was he supposed to expect, a consolation prize? Hange’s location?

“It would be much easier if you paid immediately,” Yelena said. “Do you have the money on hand?”

He didn’t have the credit rating to pay that in one go. He opened his own banking application and attempted to transfer that much in one go.

Bank error.

“We accept checks,” Yelena said.

Levi had never dealt with checks. His credit card limit was far less than how much he needed to pay. And a few exchanges later, a quick google search later, Levi had figured it out. He could pay by wire transfer but by god, and just the wire transfer would cost him more money than necessary.

Levi was a man of principle though. Slip of paper on hand, Yelena’s contact details on his phone he made his way out of Zeke’s presidential, without even bothering so much as a goodbye. It looked like Zeke had retired to his own private room or study anyway. Did he need that pleasantry from Levi of all people?

On the way back to his own hotel, he took a long cut, through the hotels that connected to one another through glass pathways, a few floors above ground. He made sure to take a longer time than usual, enough time to reflect on his own shitty luck.

A fruitless reflection with a very very repetitive and depressing conclusion. That’s just how life is?

If it hadn't been for those two who had talked a little too loudly by the side, maybe Levi would have deemed it fruitless.

If didn’t look to his right to see the entrance to the casino, if he didn’t walk quickly past the slot machines, taking in the red plush carpet, he would have said it was a total waste of time. The dim room only further accentuated the lights that never seemed to come from an exact same place. The casino had a way of just letting some strange feverish state, some illusion blanket his surroundings.

Hange Zoe. The man at the front had said her name, too proudly, as if in total amazement. For a while, the dazzling casino lights had him doubting that name clipped into one brief exchange. Others seemed to be talking about her too. Then he was following the crowd.

Murmurs of Hange Zoe, none of them demeaning or admonishing. Others seemed breathless, and Levi thought it worth his time, to tiptoe just to see a good look of what they were staring at.

Fruitless.

Levi dove into the crowd, slipping his way through, bending over, moving his hand through when necessary. He never made it to the front, but he did note the messy mop of brown hair, tied into a high ponytail, bent over the table. The autumn jacket, the side profile and the glimmer of some tight lips.

Hange was deep in thought in the middle of what looked to be some poker game. Her own pile of poker chips right next to her, much larger than everyone elses. He knew her enough to make that type of guess.

Circumstances.

Levi decided it would be a waste of time. Circumstances were never his to control anyway. They were Zeke’s, they were hers.

Hange Zoe’s win again.

How many hands had she played before that?

She’s cheating.

No, she’s just lucky.

I heard she calculates every single hand.

Levi felt some sense of superiority, knowing something the murmuring crowds didn’t.

All summarized into three things. Firstly, lady luck was probably on her side, it had always been as if making up a string of misfortunes in a previous life. Secondly, she probably calculated every single hand. Third, Hange would never ever cheat.

And those would be last few thing he would allow himself be proud of. That would be the last time he would think of Hange as someone remotely his.

As Levi turned the heel and walked back to his hotel, he decided, although it wasn’t too fruitless a detour, he still regretted making that quick trip into the casino.

***

If Levi knew he would have felt like shit as soon as he came back from vacation, maybe he never would have gone on that stupid vacation in the first place.

Monday. Monday morning. Those words managed to taste bitter, even when Levi was barely forcing it out of his mouth. It could have been the fact that he barely had time to get over the jet lag or it was just way too early in the morning. Scratch that, it wasn't any of that at all.

Zeke was sitting on the couch, seeming very much unaffected by what should have been transoceanic jet lag and very much unaffected by the words that came out of Erwins house just a second ago.

At first, Levi even doubted what I heard, attributing it to exhaustion. He turned back to Zeke, no sadistic grin, no furrowed brows. He was calm, unimpressed and all business.

"Sorry… it's too early in the morning… I don't think I heard you correctly,” Levi said, an attempt at professionalism even with the trappings of shock, disbelief and very inconvenient drowsiness.

“We don’t usually invite lower management to these types of meetings… But Mr. Jaeger requested you be here, to answer any questions that might pop up...” Erwin said apologetically.

“No. Not that… You mentioned it a while ago...Why is Mr. Jaeger here?”

"We’re making amendments to the contract," Erwin answered.

“And why do you need me here?”

“He’s here to buy the love alarm,” Erwin said so casually that Levi had to clear his throat, get rid of whatever popping sensation had been going on in his ears.

My love alarm. The love alarm he worked more than half a decade on. The love alarm which he knew like the back of his hand, from the backbone of the codes to the front end bugs.

"It's for sale?" Levi spat out. There were only so many ways he could speak and so many ways he could even articulate the emotions running through his head.

Erwin cleared his throat, seeming uncomfortable at such a simple question. "Initially no… we never considered selling it but when Zeke called about it last week, we thought it worth a conversation.” He turned to Zeke then back to Levi. “We were able to run through Zeke’s proposal with the higher ups last Friday, and given the generous proposal, we are more than willing to sell him the rights to the Love Alarm and the Emotions Alarm project.”

How much did he offer? Levi instinctively looked towards Zeke but he soon figured out that no matter what he said, Zeke probably would never disclose the final price. In some vague response, Zeke pulled the brown envelope on the table closer to himself. "Everything has a price,” he said matter-of-factly.

Erwin spoke up. "I did the calculations as soon as I received your call last Thursday and it looks like it would be more than enough to cover what potential earnings we expected within the next two years and more than enough for the development of another project.

Last Thursday night. The night they had met in Zeke’s penthouse suite. Was buying the love alarm an impulse decision on Zeke’s part? The timing just seemed too right.

And they only continued to talk about it, as if Levi wasn’t there. What did an engineer know about business though or about purchases as high volume as the rights to the love alarm?

For something that had taken countless all nighters over time and years of development, the process of selling it just seemed too easy. “Mr. Jaeger, if I may ask, what made you consider buying the love alarm?” Levi asked.

“Hange’s research,” Zeke said, as if it was the most obvious and the most noble reason in the world.

“And when you buy it, what then?” Levi challenged.

“I’ll work with Hange. We’ll hire new developers to fix the bugs you never fixed. We’ll further improve the product and the code and we’ll break the product down, see what else we can use to improve the emotions alarm project.” The answer was disappointing, a far cry from what Levi wanted to hear.

Your other plans with Hange. He had opened his mouth, ready to expound on the question.

Erwin though may have sensed the thick tension between them. "You have the contract?"

Zeke nodded. "I had our lawyer work on it over the weekend, a rush job. You can run through it with the higher ups and I'll have someone pick up a signed copy by this week"

"Believe me, we’re decided, you can even pick it up tomorrow," Erwin said as he opened the envelope, pulled out papers and flipped through the pages. For a second, he dropped the paperwork on the table then onto the page where the executives were expected to sign.

All familiar names from the big wigs all the way, down to Erwin. Levi's name wasn't there at all. Figures, Levi after all, was merely an engineer. He couldn't help but sense irony though in the fact that the one who knew the most about the product had no say in its actual fate.

Erwin's words only made the irony seem more glaring. “We'll use the next two weeks to do some clean up on our end, pack up the resources and work on data migration.”

By ‘we’, Levi knew Erwin would be ordering him to do that.. He couldn’t help but feel slightly cheated though. He would be basically ordered to take apart something he built from scratch, send it off and never see it again. And the longer he stared at the contract that would be ordering all that, the more desolate the air around him seemed to feel.

The product he had worked on for years, taking apart every now and then, breaking and putting back together to find even the smallest bugs, going on countless hours of overtime over, was like a child to him, a child he was unwillingly sending it away to some known.

Some masochistic part of him had him still staring at the contract, long enough still to remember his first contract when he first signed into the company, something that stayed snug into the back of his mind, unexpectedly kicking his arse then.

Ownership of Intellectual Property. Employee agrees that the Company shall own, and Employee shall (and hereby does) assign, all right, title and interest...

Everyone in the room seemed to have too much regard anyway for pleasantries anyway and never felt the need to clarify it. Levi had to rely on his own memory of Zeke saying it just a few days ago in his hotel room.

The company pays you. Any effort, ideas, projects you put into our product is company property.

And Zeke will be buying it so it will be his property.

Whether Zeke even knew how the alarm worked didn’t seem to matter to him though.“So, I guess in a matter two weeks, all server data and resources should be with Jaeger corporation.”

Erwin nodded. “We’d be happy to expedite the process. If all goes well, yes.”

When a huge sum of money was on the line, suddenly red tape was so easy to squeeze one’s way through. It took an enormous amount of effort to stay calm as they signed away the culmination of his own hard work, his countless hours of overtime, the blood, sweat and personal investment he put into that one application, all signed away in a brief second, all the red tape of a few weeks ago, non-existent.

Erwin turned to him, “If you can stay behind after the meeting, so we can discuss the logistics…”

Most days, Levi appreciated the manner at which Erwin spoke, the way he took some regard of Levi’s own time when giving orders. That day, there were too many things happening to even appreciate.

What else do you expect me to do? Say no? Hell, he had wanted to say no, but by the glaring lack of his own name on the contract, the glaring lack of regard for his own opinion on the matter, Levi could only seethe silently.

“Oh yeah,” Zeke snapped his fingers, loud enough to call Levi’s attention. “Hange sends her regards. She enjoyed working with your company a lot.” He turned to Levi and gave him a nod. “And to you too Ackerman, I just have to say we’re very grateful for your hard work and your generosity.”

What generosity? The implication that Levi had any say on commercial decisions seemed mocking.

“We’ll take good care of both applications,” Zeke continued. “And regards from Hange, she wishes you all the best with Petra.”

Petra. Levi let out a cough, letting out a subtle look at Erwin. If the latter did seem bothered, he didn’t show it.

With that, Zeke left the room, and Levi started to understand how someone could keep such a confident demeanor even with the slightest inconveniences. Somehow, having that many assets, wealth and power under one’s belt really had that paper.

The way he strode, embodied it, the way that in just a few phone calls, he had completely dismantled everything Levi had worked on, making it his own.

And when he closed the door gently behind him, leaving Levi and Erwin alone in the room, Levi was reminded once again, the love alarm, the emotion alarm, were never his, as much as he would have wanted to claim ownership.

They were never his, but suddenly they were Zeke’s. Levi turned to Erwin, narrowing his eyes, as he watched the blonde make his way to the desk. Erwin seemed uncomfortable as if he sensed the strange betrayal that something so standard as corporate procedure could bring. Then he cleared his throat and spoke up.

Two weeks. Levi was given two weeks to clean everything, migrate all data and vacate the office.

It was the company's project but it was Levi's responsibility. There was a broken partnership which somehow ended with two products sold. Yet even with all the damage dealt by that deal, the management needed some scapegoat from within the company.

Erwin had explained everything with as professional of a face as possible. With the tight lipped attempt at a grin that followed, the way he had avoided Levi’s eyes one too many times, Levi suspected Erwin knew more than he was letting on.

The photos maybe? The bug with Hange? The broken partnership? Of course someone would end up having to take the blame for giving Zeke a ‘bugged’ application.

Too many reasons, many among those rooted in some attempt to save face, in filthy office politics. And by then, Levi hadn’t been expecting too much.

That probably had been the reason that when Erwin looked back at him with a much softer expression, Levi couldn’t help but let out a long sigh, something to abate whatever emotion was threatening to let loose.

I didn’t think it was right for the mastermind behind the application to be terminated completely empty handed.

Erwin had arranged for some severance pay after the two weeks were over.

Enough to get out of the country, start somewhere else.

A job termination shouldn’t have been enough to be driven out of the country. Levi didn’t make too much sense of Erwin’s words until he had experienced it for himself a week later, through an empty email inbox after sending out the same resume to twenty companies for over thirty roles.

Have you heard of a no poach agreement? Erwin had asked back in the office.

A no poach agreement?

It’s technically illegal so this usually comes as a verbal agreement among companies. They’d note their best employees and if they have to let one go, all companies agree, they cannot hire them for a certain period of time, five to seven years. It's a 'scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' type of deal.

To keep company secrets apparently or to keep Levi from making a similar application in any other company.

If you want to continue working in the development industry, your best chance would be abroad.

Around one week left before his termination would become effective and Levi gave up on finding a development job in his city, hell even his country. Around that time he had started to clean up his studio apartment, throwing out whatever was needed.

He started looking through immigration laws, consulting when necessary. He looked through apartments in other cities, then labor laws. The severance pay was more than enough at least to get him out, and Erwin had been a big help in straightening other legalities out.

He had an extra few weeks to clean out his room, pack up his things, straighten out immigration issues and buy a damn ticket out of there.

In between, his final week at work. He had never considered leaving his job of over a decade to have ended such a long bittersweet moment. In reality, he never really had the time to appreciate normalcy and he felt some regret at that.

Migrating server data, resources, making sure everyone under him had straightened out their leaves, making sure they were assigned to new projects took time. Allowing himself reprieves in-between to just sit down, and stare at half filled boxes also took longer and more effort than he had expected it too.

He stared at the ever increasing boxes that lined his office walls for a while longer. Surprisingly, for someone so fastidious, he had a lot he needed to clean out, both inside the computer and outside.

You will lose all accesses, to emails, to chat accounts and to company property by end of day Friday. He got that same message, in different forms from human resources, from Erwin and Levi was on a strict time limit to get everything out.

In some protest, some act of empowering rebellion, Levi was taking his sweet time. He continued to reserve conference rooms, staying out of his own room as much as possible, going through each line of code slowly as if he they were all individuals all deserving of their own greeting.

He started with the backend, then went to the frontend. He looked through the pull requests and the merge requests and the fixes that would never make the next release.

And Friday couldn’t have come any faster. By then, Levi had ninety percent of  his office space cleaned out. He entered the room to find his own team lugging out some of the boxes.

100 percent done then? Levi thought to himself.

Eld was the first one to speak up. “We thought you’d need some help. We heard you only had until five to vacate the room." Yet, he had the expression of a guilty child caught taking cookies from the cookie jar at midnight.

His whole team looked similar.

Levi shook his head. "No, this is much appreciated," he said. A stiff choice of words if he did say so himself but the last few hours of work weighed on him more heavily than the days leading up to it.

He only had two hours before he lost access to everything he had worked on for years.

He held his work laptop close to himself as he watched them lug box after box out of the room.

"Eld was suggesting we go get something to eat tonight," Gunther suggested.

"That depends…" Levi started. Definitely, whether he enjoyed it depended on how quickly he could brush off that weight then that tightening in his chest. "Have you talked to your new team leads? Your new managers?" he asked, an attempt at a light conversation. He wondered if his expression betrayed his words.

Maybe they did. "Or we could wait a few days," Eld said.

"We'll see. We have a few more hours before the end of day," Levi said. He slipped past them and walked back into his office.

Shelves empty, desk spotless and even the floor shone with some unsettling gleam. It had always been spotless, he made sure of it but there had always been something melancholic about rooms that had been full for years, suddenly empty.

And until a few weeks ago, the room had felt like Hange. He had deliberately left many of the crooked books on the shelf, the crooked documents, the titled reusable paper tray and the test devices messily lined up on the shelfs because Hange had left it that way.

And the whiteboard right next to his desk which Hange had failed to clean many weeks before was suddenly wiped clean. Levi didn't even noticed he let out a sound, a mix between a gasp and a whimper when he saw Hange's list of emails completely gone, erased over.

"You okay in there, boss?" Petra asked.

"Someone cleaned the whiteboard," Levi said.

"Oluo, I told you he'd point out your shitty job cleaning the board!" Petra said, from just outside.

Oluo responded. "Well, he's not going to be using it anymore so I though--- Ow!" Some silence followed, then approaching footsteps. "Sorry sir, I'll clean it again."

"No, it's fine," Levi said, he put his hand up, as if to stop Oluo from making that quick trek back to the white board. "I'll clean up the rest. Thanks for the help."

For once, he was grateful for someone's carelessness. The white board wasn't as clean as he thought it was a second ago and maybe because he would have rather it wasn't clean.

Hange wrote in crooked lines where ends hit one another, others fell and the fonts and sizes were never too similar from one line to the other. And the closer Levi came to the whiteboard, he noticed it, one email peeking out, spared by the shoddy erasing job.

Wingsoffreedom132

Hange had multiple emails she used for testing and when Levi opened his work laptop one last time, enjoying the last few hours of access as he cleaned up folders and code repositories, he found himself looking back at the email.

Does she still use it? He asked himself

Maybe. It was worth a try at least.

He looked once again around the room, the very empty room. Then he looked back at his screen, opened the repositories that were ready to be sent out to the point person from Jaeger corporation.

Then he opened his own personal folder, the unfinished codes from the love alarm then the mood alarm then the plans, the files and on the upper left of the file 'the Mood Alarm.'

To hell, with red tape, bureaucracy and all that shit. It was his project, right at his fingertips. It wasn’t Zeke’s nor was it management. The only reason they probably hadn’t sacked him on the spot was because he was the only one who could have so efficiently organized it before they sent it off to some poor sap who worked under Jaeger corporation.

He allowed himself one rebellion, or more specifically a string of rebellions.

If he were forced by some bureaucracy to send all the resources of the love alarm and the mood alarm to Hange, he would do it on his own terms.

He disconnected from the office wifi. He opened a hotspot then he opened his own personal email. Opening an incognito tab, he transferred all the codes and resources to his own personal repository, organizing it in a similar manner.

Then copied the link and started to compose an email.

To: wingsoffreedom132@wahu.com

All the codes for the love alarm

He pasted the link right below.

All codes for mood alarm.

And below it, he pasted another link.

He waited for a few more seconds as the email loaded the attachment, the file with all the plans he had for the mood alarm, allowing himself a small smile as he imagined Hange pondering the name 'mood alarm.'

He vacillated between writing a message under and keeping it brief. Then a second later, his fingers moved for him, he didn't even realize what he had been writing until it was on the page, ending on a period for finality.

“Dedicate your heart.” He read it out loud, then he felt a pang on his chest and a twist at his gut.

Dedicate your heart to what? He didn't want Hange dedicating her heart to anything. He wanted her free, flying high, doing whatever the hell she wanted to, bound by no role, no debt of gratitude, no excuse for love.

Reach for the sky? Hell, she could probably even make it to the stars.

So he went for something that left him cringing.

Reach for the stars (or anything higher than that).

Then he added something, collateral from that rush of indignance.

Don’t let anything stop you. Just remember, I would have given you all these damn codes for free.

After sending the email, he took a few precautions. He cleared his history, his cache, his browser and he deleted the rest of the files in his laptop. With one hour before the end of day, he turned off the laptop.

“Do you need any more help?” Petra had entered the room, hands behind her back in some very faux casual manner. And she seemed to be avoiding his gaze.

Levi used that moment to wipe that last line of Hange’s email, as if that could have been evidence to that bout of rebellion. “I’m done. Let’s leave the rest to whoever will be cleaning up the desk.”

Petra didn’t seem at all suspicious, or maybe she didn’t care. “That’s good. WIll you be joining us for dinner?”

Levi nodded. “Maybe my leaving is worth a dinner.”

“You’re really leaving?”

“Looks like it.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I bought a plane ticket, secured a visa. I'll go somewhere, far from here, then find a job or maybe work freelance.

“I want you to stay here.”

“I wanna stay here too,” Levi admitted. “But I couldn’t even find a job.”

“I’ll miss having you here… And working with that love alarm. I really believed in the product and it made me realize my own feelings too,” Petra leaned by the window, looking worse for wear.

When Levi gave a long look, he noted maybe she had been crying. He almost felt guilty for not even struggling to fight back tears then.

Maybe his body had already reached the point of pure catatonic, pure acceptance at the hopelessness of the situation. “I’m sorry.” What was he saying sorry for? “I mean— I’m sorry I can’t stay.”

Petra took a deep breath. “This is probably the only time I can say something so I’ll say it now and you know, if you believe in your love alarm, you probably figured it out already,” Petra started. “I like you, I really like you. Actually you know what, it might be love. I don’t know if that would change anything—”

“It won’t.” Levi kept his voice firm. “I bought the ticket. I organized my papers and I have a place to stay. I’m leaving.”

“For good?” Petra had on a wounded look, her mouth twisted into something similar to a pout, by her eyes were elsewhere as if she knew there was a little too much vulnerability in her voice. “So, whatever I feel, it won’t change anything?”

Levi shook his head. “I don’t think it would be fair to you if I accept your feelings. I’m in no hurry to date.” He let out a clipped sardonic laugh. “At this point, I’ll probably die alone.”

“You deserve—”

“And you deserve someone who wouldn’t decide to date you for convenience.” Maybe Levi had been a little too frank at that moment.

Petra didn’t respond, her mouth frozen in a tight lipped line.

“The love alarm will be back so maybe you can use that to find someone else whose alarm rings with yours,” Levi continued, his voice deliberately gentler. “Or what about growing something organically, without the help of that stupid app. I honestly think, sometimes the love alarm causes more chaos than actually fixes things.” He shrugged. “It depends on the circumstances really.”

Circumstances he probably would never understand. He turned back to the black screen and reflected for a long painful moment about it. He was a slave to circumstance.

They were silent for a while longer and Levi used that time to recover, willing himself not to meet Petra's eyes.

She broke the silence a few seconds later. “We’ll meet you by the gate for dinner?”

“I’ll see you then, just give me an hour or so,” Levi said, checking the clock on his phone. He had a little more than an hour left before EOD. “Or just text me when you find a restaurant.”

It took a little longer to convince Petra to leave and it had ended with them having to text Levi a familiar restaurant name.

Levi had taken his time doing nothing at all, just sitting on his office chair in his bare office room. He counted down the minutes on his phone until five. A few times he had even stared at the seconds counting down on the digital clock view on his phone.

Around a minute past five. He booted his laptop again, typed out his email and password.

Access Denied. Please contact your IT Administrator.

At exactly five in the afternoon, he lost access to the system. He took a deep breath and let reality weigh him slowly, then sink deep into him in one swift sensation.

The love alarm and the mood alarm were never his. Any delusion that they were his had dissipated with all the company accesses.

***

In an airport, the point past immigration is international space.

Maybe that explained that strange liberation that came with getting past immigration and walking through the gates, searching for his own. Or it could have been many things at once. He was out of his old job, out of his old environment and somehow, in its own way, it symbolized a new beginning.

Even as an international space though, some things weren’t completely unavoidable. Settling on the departure gate, Levi went through some final checklists on his phone.

He had a new bank account. He had a place to stay as soon as he landed.

And his inbox was a confluence of unread mail. Many of them were goodbyes, from colleagues, some from finance, from human resources, from his own team and he wondered how the hell people found out and what they were thinking about his leaving.

Erwin sent a few tips on taxes and getting housing loans. Petra had sent a ‘safe flight’ message with the same pleasantries of meeting up when she gets to visit.

There was one message was avoiding and he decided to open it last. He spent the first few minutes before that spamming the same thank you message to every single goodbye message.

That one other message after all, was easy to ignore, just a bank notification that money had been wire transferred.

One hundred thousand dollars, the exact money he had lost and sent over to Yelena, he realized as he opened the message and put a little more thought into it.

You have two weeks to claim it. Two weeks? The countdown started a week ago and he only had a week to claim it.

Actually, not even a week. Looking up at the boarding time, he realized he only had an hour. He could probably organize something to have it sent over to his new account. Considering timing and the logistics though was stressful enough already. And besides, his mind found it more enticing to just indulge the context behind such a large sum of money.

It could have been a scam. The amount of money though had seemed too much of a coincidence and admittedly, Levi was a still lovesick.

Don’t send me money. Just fucking talk to me. Levi whispered to himself. Just in case, just in case that was Hange.

In some indignant response, he decided to delete the message and instead, spend last few hours going through some obscure threads on the industry. Something he had been actively avoiding.

Business Jaeger Zeke Jaeger acquires the love alarm… The mogul had found a fatal bug on the love alarm…

In a noble effort to improve the efficacy and accuracy of the product, he took it upon himself to oversee development….

Head developer behind the love alarm has been terminated....

Unnamed developer. He had at least been given that much. Levi let out a sigh. For a high profile application, no one really figured out the name of the head developer. It was a thankless job but Levi never thought too much about the glory of it.

And at that moment, he could only be grateful for the anonymity, whether or not Zeke had done it deliberately.

Plane ready for boarding.

They would be starting with first class passengers first and Levi knew he had more than enough time to take a trip, to the farthest trash can, yet still something near enough to catch the flight.

He unzipped the front pocket of his backpack, pulling out a small sim card pin. He poked it, pulling out the tray, noting the bronze sheen of the sim card. It had taken him a few tries to hold the small card between his fingers and a few more tries to bend it between his fingers, bend it to the point of unusable.

He pocketed his phone and quickly made his way back to the boarding gate.

No bank account. No phone number. He wondered why he went through that much of an effort to destroy everything.

Maybe just for an attempt for a new beginning. Or maybe because he didn’t want her to find him.

The more he thought about it though, the sooner he realized he wanted her to find him. He just thought it better to assume that she wouldn’t even try.

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

The Helping Hand

Ch.10

Chapter 11: The Culmination and Going Our Separate Ways

Ch. 12

Word Count: 5200 approx  (Not My GIF)

A/n: Sorry for the wait... A lot happens in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it! 

Pepper was honestly a God send. She told you where she had last checked in with Tony, and his deal with Ross. You both knew that this was going to end badly, and she wanted you there. “Logan, can you let me borrow Peter for a couple of days?” You say into the speaker. “We’re taking an educational trip to Germany.” You tell him, making him nod in agreement. “He’ll be right up.” He says you turn to Pepper, giving her a small smile. Just as Peter walks in. “Pepper I’d like you to meet Spider Man… although bug boy works just as well.” Peter grumbles at the last part, a smile still plastered on his face. “Wait, you’re that vigilante down in queens?” Pepper asks, you fain offence. “He is no such thing, he is a Hero.” you chuckle and Peter's chest slightly broadens, feeling proud of what you said. “Okay, now that that's done Peter pack your bags, it's time to put your hero skills to work.”

He nods enthusiastically. “What is the threat?” He asks, trying not to sound too excited. “The Avengers… We’re going to save them from themselves.” Peter's face pales and nods, again muttering something along the lines of ‘this is crazy… I'm fighting the Avengers’  you see him off and tell him to meet you down in the lobby. Peter takes his leave not before singing Pepper his praises. “I’m going to need something else too.” Pepper nods. “Whatever you need.” You can't help the smile that grows on your face. “I need a suit…” Pepper’s smile shone through. It’s needless to say that she was happy to comply with your demand. Telling you to take your pick from the compound.

In no time you and Peter were gawking at Tony’s lab it was mesmerizing to say the least. You’d taken your pick. Some modifications were made to your taste. (Meaning you painted the suit black.) “With all due respect Miss Y/n… you look so bad ass right now.” You chuckle and nod. “One would think I should Peter.” You say mockingly and he laughs. “Alright now we need to take this puppy of the Stark servers, and on to a ghost server…” Peter nods, getting started. “We’ll use ward as the central intelligence for this suit, can't have Vision messing things up for us.” Peter's eyes meet yours knowingly. “It seems like you were awfully prepared for this Miss Y/n” You shift under his gaze and cave. “I may or may not have been planning this since Sokovia… I wanted a suit.” You confess making Peter giggle amusedly. “What we’re doing right now Peter Is something you will never do alright, Your suit is on my server in case you ever need help alright… The only circumstance in which you are allowed to do this is if I become bat shit crazy.” You chuckle at Peter's seriousness. “More than you already are or…” Peter jokes. 

“I knew I wasn’t wrong about you. You’re going to be great one day Peter, I know you are.” You say as you finally jailbreak the suit. “We’re home free” Peter basically shouts at the top of his lungs. You click your tongue “‘Friad we’re just getting started.” The flight to Germany was pleasing to say the least Peter was ecstatic. He told you many things, he was nervous and rambling, and you didn't have the heart to stop him so you just listened. When you get there It is just about to go down. You see Steve about to reach for his shield ready to throw it. Peter reacts quickly, webbing his hands together. "Who was that?" Steve asks, looking around as he spots you. "That's my intern… Spider Man." Steve nods apprehensively.

Tony on the other hand scoffs. "Do you know who we are? We are the Avengers." Peter takes offence towards Tony's attitude. "Not as of recently… In, miss Y/n’s own words. You're all a bunch of whiny bitc…" You try to stifle your laugh… nudging Peter's shoulder. Mustering 'not the time kid' he nods. "Look if we cross this line there will be no going back." You say looking at Steve and Tony. They both completely disregard your attempts at de-escalating the situation. Soon enough they are all fighting each other. You tell Peter to help out Sam and Bucky. He nods and swings away. Trying to get Tony off of Wanda's scent you grab His foot and you both pummel to the ground. “I see you were just using me… Pretending.” He spat out venomously. “Great minds think alike, I’m not stupid. You thought that if I stayed, the twins would stay. This goes both ways.” You say as you stand. “And I wasn't pretending” You hit him once more before making your way to Peter. Your anger grows when you see Steve Punch the kid. “Captain, I'm going to have to stop you right there, the kid is trying to help you.” He nods and runs towards the quinjet. You spot Natasha being thrown against a wall by Wanda, and make your way towards her.  

“We’re okay?” She asks again and you open your helmet. “Always, Looks like you took quite the hit back there.” You chuckle. “We haven’t even gotten started.” She states worriedly. “It’s never too late to join the pacifist party?” You say. “We’ve actually been looking for new members…” She chuckles, and you can't help but smile. “I’ll think about it” You nod, and turn when  you notice Wanda burying your father in a pile of cars. “I got to go… I’ll see you.” You say as you close the suit back up. “You need to get to the hangar… Pietro get your sister to the quinjet.” He nods and makes his way to Wanda carrying her away to where Steve and Bucky were. Fucking Antman came out of nowhere turning huge and stopping war machine and your father. After Vision destroyed a tower you made your way into the hangar and watched as Natasha aimed her weapon at Steve. “Don’t do this…” You say as you walk up behind her. She quickly turns and points it at you. “I’m going to regret this aren't I?” She says, and your heart drops at those words you say nothing, your stance just becomes rigid. “GO!” She yells at Steve before she shifts in her place hitting King T'Challa. Steve, Bucky, Wanda, and Pietro run. 

You watch as the Quinjet takes off. You fly away when you notice Rhoadey flying with your father after them. All you know is that one moment you're catching up with War Machine, Sam tailing behind you, and then you’re free falling. Tony watches, waiting for you to recover for your suit to recover. “F.R.I.D.A.Y what's happening?” He asks as he rushes towards your falling frame. “It appears the suit is plummeting, it has no control.” The voice answers calmly. “I can see that clearly, grant me remote control of the Suit.” The command falls short as the AI responds. “It appears that Miss Y/n has blocked all outside commands. It’s not on Stark serves anymore” Suddenly it dawned on him he tried to reach you he truly did, he even saw Sam try to break your fall, but it was too late. Natasha watched in horror from the hangar, your limb body crashing into the ground. 

Tony approaches the suit and pulls off the face revealing your unconscious face, bruised and bloody. “F.R.I.D.A.Y show me her vitals.” The AI voice falters giving him a feeling of dread. “There is no registering heartbeat sir.” That makes Tony tumble backwards, finally feeling the tears that had been streaming down his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen… not like this.” The sadness soon turns to anger. “What happened Vision, What did you do?” He asks, looking at you his voice broken and full of anger. “I-I don't know I got distracted.” Vision musters looking down at his hands. “Mr. Stark something is wrong, step away from the body, it's unstable it's going to explode” again he looks at you and you’re smoking. “We’ve got to get her out of there.” He yells desperately clawing at the suit. Vision notices that it won't be possible before the explosion so he and Sam pry him off your limp body. “You-you can't leave her there, I CAN’T LEAVE HER THERE.” He yells. 

Soon after there is a white energy surrounding you. It lifts you off the ground and into the air. They all watch in awe as the suit is magically ripped from your body. The moment of awe is cut short by your deafening screams. Your eyes open and they are full of the same energy that surrounds you. It seems to surge through you causing your body to tense to an almost worrying degree. Suddenly you shoot up into the sky, ready to go after you Tony watches as you land safely as few feet from him. The same pose that he would tease Steve for, except this time you dropped on to your other knee. He saw your eyes, he saw your mothers eyes staring back at him. “HELP.” A screeching sound left your mouth soon after he watched as your eyes filled with that energy again. As if nothing had happened you collapse on the ground again. This time your chest rising and falling, giving him some sort of comfort knowing you’re still alive. 

Tony paces in his place… just then Natasha walks up to him. "How is she?" She asks looking out of the window. "She's fine… you know outside of whatever the hell that was." Natasha nods. "I know she'll be fine… Is she awake?" Tony shakes his head, his free hand turning into a fist. "You let them go… you were on my side and you let them go!" He states. "Now Y/n, I knew she wasn't working with me. You… You betrayed me, our friendship." Natasha only nods. "I imagine that I'm a fugitive now?" She states after a while of silence. Natasha turns about to walk away. "No… No you don't get to leave Y/n not like this." Natasha meets Tony's gaze. The sincerity in them it's new but genuine. "I am not doing this for you." He states as he walks away. "You don't have to worry about Ross or running away in case you didn't get the memo." Natasha smirks, nodding and following suit after Tony.  

“Hello?... Where am I now?” You ask out into the nothingness. Suddenly you feel like you're being dragged; you're not sure where but it takes a while. “Y/n?” The voice makes you tense, one you knew all too well. “Y/n, Is that you?” The voice repeats this time firmer, coaxing you to reply. “Howard?” You whisper silently, finally turning to meet his gaze. “Kiddo, It's you! You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you.” He walked forward, extending his arms and pulling you into himself. Warmth you were all too familiar with consuming your heart. “How are you here… I missed you so much.” You say. He doesn't answer, he just holds you tighter. “Why did you keep me from him?” You ask your voice breaking as you asked. “Because I was afraid, I was afraid that you’d hate me. Because I was arrogant and hard headed… Because if I was in your shoes I wouldn't forgive me.” He states honestly.  “Do you know what's happening to me?” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure kiddo. I’m sure you will figure it out.” He states again. Then again you feel like you’re being dragged away this time something is different you’re in Sokovia. 

“Well if it isn’t Miss Stark.” You hear David's voice tease you. “You- you’re okay!” You state as you run towards him. “Aren’t you forgetting about someone?” And your face says it all, the smile reserved only for them back on your face. “I could never.” You say as you hug Viv and David. “We’ve been watching you.” David states, and Viv slaps his shoulder. “Right, that sounds creepy. We don't see everything.” He clarifies. “Only what you let us see, when you need us.” Viv jumps back in. “That's weird…” You mumble to yourself. “Well, I’ll say one minute everything is dark and nothingness, the next we are here. Quite nice being here.”  David chuckles. “I bring you here.” You mumble. “I see you’re not getting any better at listening.” Your eyes dart back to David. The laughter engulfs the three of you. “Not really.” You muster out. “Do you guys know what happened to me? They both nod in agreement. “You’ll figure it out soon enough probably sooner than you think, especially with what's going on out there.” Viv says quietly almost as if she was thinking out loud. 

Her words snap you back into reality, to the situation in which you left your family. Falling apart and hurting each other in the process. “I-i need to get back… but you’ll be okay right?” You look at both of them and they nod quickly putting you at ease, before you could even think about saying goodbye you’re dragged back into reality. You quite literally crash land back into reality, falling to the floor. You hear muffled voices coming from the other side of the two sided mirror conveniently placed in the room. “You want to stop your chattering and help me up here.” You hear as someone opens the door and shuffles in carefully. “Y/n how are you feeling?” Nat asks as carefully as she could. “I’m okay… I think that I am okay.” You finally take the time to look at your body stopping for a moment to make sure you’re not in any pain. “Yeah I’m great… No need to worry!” You state cheerfully. The look Natasha gives you makes you doubt what you have just stated. “You-you don't remember what happened?” 

The look of concern in her eyes makes you stop and shake your head. “Remember plummeting to my death, yes Nat I do.” You state matter of factly. She shakes her head again. “No, just a little bit after that.” She stops for a while making you falter but she continues. “You um-ah actually we have no idea what happened to you, and by the looks of it you don't either so we're back at square one.” You sigh. “So you don't know, and I don't know.” She looks at you confused, her mouth opens slightly. “How’d you do that?” She asks, confused. “How’d I do what?” You shoot back almost immediately. In that moment you quite literally saw it click in her mind. She didn't say anything, at least not physically. “You can hear this?” You nod. “You’re in my head!” She states cautiously. “Get out of it.” An order you can tell. “I don’t know how!” You shoot back immediately. “Try.” And try you do, does not go as planned. You feel your presence leave Natasha's mind but after that it’s painful. “It’s- oh my It's so loud Tasha.” You crash back down grasping your ears.

“I-i can't make it stop, why can't I make it stop?” You ask between sobs. You hear the door open but you don't bother to even look up. You feel someone grab your arms. They say something, but you can't hear them. “Y/n go into  my mind, I give you my consent to do it.” You don't really know who it was that said it, but you don't think twice about it. Once you're in your eyes open to find your father in front of you. Before either of you could even process what was actually happening you lunge into his arm giving him what would be the first of many heartfelt and genuine hugs. “Thank you, dad. Thanks .” You say into his neck you hear him hum. “Anytime monkey, I love you.”  

Days later you and Tony had found out what actually happened back in Germany with Bucky. How this man just played us all, well played him. How he successfully dismantled the avengers with strife he himself created. He didn’t say it but you felt it, the guilt and the anger pent up in him. The sadness just makes brief appearances in the night. “I can’t… Tasha I can just go up to him and tell him he’s sad, and angry. He knows, and doesn't need me to tell him.” She sighs. “Well you keep telling me about it, Y/n. Me and Tony aren’t on good terms.” She mentions calmly. “Fine, subject dropped. New topic on the table, Sam, Scott, and Clint. We need to get them out of the raft.” Determination laced in your voice. “There’s not much I can do for them, you might be able to help Scott  and Clint, but I'm sure Sam would much rather rot in that cell than your ranks.” You sigh. “Right, well doesn't mean I can’t help him, the least I could do is try. He is in there because of me after all.” Natasha doesn’t say anything but you know that she agrees. 

“Y/n, Widow you two decent in there?” Tony asks through the closed door, and you both laugh. “Yeah come on in.” You yell back at him. “Did you have a nightmare? Did you want to sleep here?” You tease and Nat chuckles while Tony rolls his eyes. Then you see the light in his eyes. He throws himself and wedges himself in between you and Nat. “Since you were so kind to offer, I hope you don't mind.” He says as he makes himself comfortable. He sighs as he finally relaxes his body. “I need to go talk to them, I need to know where Our Capsicle and our dearest Winter Soldier went.” You nod taking in the information. “And you want me to go with you?” You ask cautiously knowing that this whole taking sides thing is still fresh. “Yes, they won't talk to me. Especially not after what we just found out. By the way I already informed King T’Challa”  You sigh. “How’d that go, I wouldn’t be too happy about it.” He sighs and nods in agreement. “Yeah, but at least he’s willing to help.” 

“How about we switch gears and watch some shit Tv.” You say taking the remote and surfing through the channels until you find some of the old sitcoms you watched with Pietro and Wanda. “This should do.” You state settling back down. You watched a couple of episodes before dozing off. When you woke up it was dead of dawn still dark outside. Natasha was gone no longer there, your father taking her spot. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little disappointed that she wasn’t there. She’s been distant ever science you woke up. “You know you could hide your disappointment a little better.” Tony states. “It’s not like that. She’s pushing me away.” You say quietly. “Natasha has her secrets, Y/n you quite literally access her mind now.” You nod. “Well, I wouldn’t do that, I would never go digging into anyone's mind, I'm not pushing any of her boundaries or mines for that matter.” He nods. “Well, give her some time, Romanoff's complicated, but I’m quite sure that she’s worth waiting for.” He says with a small smile playing on his lips and you can feel the warm, happy feeling in his head. “Like with Pepper.” He hums in agreement. “She was the first woman that I ever actually loved, after you mom.” You nod. “Have you heard from her, or anyone else?” You nod. “Well, I saw Howard… David and Vivian.” You finish off making him turn to you. “They’re okay, they seem happy.” You purposefully give him that last response. You both know that there is a lot to unpack still, things that could break you both. Things that neither of you are willing to get into now, that's been the norm.

 Avoiding having the difficult conversation, to at least have a chance at walking away with someone. “Well, when are we leaving?” You ask, changing the subject. “Tomorrow, the sooner the better.” Talking like this is how you spend the time walking to the kitchen to make breakfast and getting ready.  "Hey Nat, how'd you sleep?" You ask, kissing her cheek. She hums. "Well I would've slept better with you next to me." You chuckle. “We’re leaving today if you want to tag along…” You state making sure no one as around to listen to you. “Or you could help our old pal out, see if they need anything.” You propose raising your brow. She smirks. “And what do I get out of this?” She asks teasingly. “You mean outside of the satisfaction you'll feel knowing you helped out a dear friend.” She rolls her eyes. “Oh… I don't know all the cuddles you could ever ask for…” And even though she’ll never admit to it she’s a ‘cuddle-er’. You saw as her eyes lit up, and it made you smile. “What do you say?” She sighs but nods. “You drive a hard bargain Y/n.” 

 “Y/n, you ready?” Tony asks as he sits down at the table. “Yeah, We can go whenever you’re ready.” He steals a piece of toast from your plate. “Meet me on the Quinjet in 30 minutes.” He says, walking away. “I’ll see you soon. I’m really going to miss you, I hope you know that.” You say giving Nat a hug, burying your face in the crook of her neck. She chuckles lightly. “I’m going to miss you too.” She pulls away slightly to meet your eyes. “Just come back in one piece alright… And I know that's going to be hard, you're a little accident prone.” She breaks out into full out laughter. You gasp feigning offense, pull her closer to you and kiss her goodbye. “I promise you I’ll try my hardest.” You say walking away, grinning  from ear to ear. "See I told you… just give her time." Tony says smiling. You nod. 

The view from the helicopter made your stomach turn. Your friends, allies are locked up in a cell constantly monitored. Away from their loved ones. You can't help but close your fists. "Y/n I'll buy you as much time as I can, you'll have about 2 minutes… If not, you'll have to find it." He states cautiously. You nod understanding the weight of his words. Standing there you felt so small walking behind your father and some government official. "Well, you can make your way in." They say finally looking at you. As the door opens you see them all look up at you. Clint smiles slightly and Sam just looks relieved to see you standing. You heard a small beep and you knew it was safe to talk. "Sam, I need to know where they went." He sighs and shakes his head. "I can't do that, I won't betray them." You shake your head trying to say to him. "You're not, we're trying to help." He looks at you, his eyes hardening. "We're..." He repeats venomously. 

"Let me show you something." He slowly nods. You make your way into his mind showing him what you'd found out. "We want to help." This time he nods. He basically screams out in his mind 'SOME HYDRA BASE IN SYBERIA.' You chuckle. 'No need to yell' You turn to walk out. You make eye contact with Clint. 'I will help you get outta there and back where you belong Barton.' He jumps at the intrusion and you giggle. You give Scott a reassuring smile sending him a similar message and take your leave. “Did you get to clear things up with Sam? I would really hate it if you didn’t.” Tony says as he approaches you with secretary Ross following close behind. “No, He can barely look at me.” You can practically hear Ross’s thoughts not believing a word from either of your mouths. “They’re angry, they’ll break sooner or later. If not I’ll personally make sure they break.” You say surprising both Your father and Secretary Ross. You almost grimace at the thoughts, the smugness running through his mind. “We’ll be back here, I hope that you will be as welcoming as you have been. Thank you Secretary Ross.” The words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Stroking his ego was the only way out of this situation. 

He chuckles and nods a little too eagerly but you go with it. “Of course, I hope this is the beginning of a budding friendship between the two of us.” You nod, taking your leave after firmly shaking his hand. Once you’re both on the helicopter you fill your father in on the new information. “So, an abandoned Hydra base in Siberia.” He states nodding having found the evidence of one. “That wasn’t too hard… Alright, suit up.” You were actually dreading the idea of getting back into that suit. You sigh and nod while taking in the suit, It looks a little different. Stepping foot in that base a scene of familiarity came rushing in, taking you by surprise. “Alright this might take a minute to run the sensors and find our friends.” You shake your head, dismissing the idea immediately. “Just follow me, trust me on this.” He nods following your lead. After a couple of unpredictable turns you somehow managed to find them both, now currently pointing their weapons at you. “We come in peace Cap, look I’m sorry. I… I was wrong.” He states. You look at Steve nodding in approval. 

Your gaze fixed on him. Suddenly you realize that there's someone else staring daggers at you. You’d seen him before, but never from this proximity you met his gaze and he held it. You felt like you’d looked into his eyes before, almost like you knew him. You practically had to force yourself to look away, after which you were greeted by Steve’s worried look. This wasn’t pity, it wasn't a look you’d seen his face wear, It was a guilty knowing look. You were concerned, but your thoughts were cut short by your father clearing his throat. “Right let’s move on we still have to find this Zemo guy.” You’re all knocked out of the daze you were in, nodding at your fathers words. “Right…” You muster out in a dazed state. You all follow your father having seemingly known the way now. You made fast of your visit to the base and found the other super soldiers. When suddenly you hear whirring noises… “Don't worry they’re all dead.” You hear a voice be projected through the speakers. Both Steve and your father try to break through the door, but something in you told you that their attempts would be futile.

Left to your own devices you finally take time to admire The Winter Soldier up close and in the flesh. “Are you remembering?” You hear the voice break through your thoughts. You look at him confused. “Maybe this will make you remember avtonomnyy, unchenyy, tort na den’ rozhdeniya, mashina, zabytyy rebenok, chitael.” You sense when Bucky moved closer to you, he tried to prevent you from hearing the words, but it was too late. You were already gone by then. You felt like you were plummeting face first into a brick wall. Everything came rushing in, every single detail, every scar on your body made a scene now. You were back there sitting in that chair where they experimented on you. Where he experimented on you. He was there and there were others. “Are you ready to comply?” You hear his voice shine through the darkness you feel surrounding you. You’re begging pleading with anyone and anything to make it stop, but they all just stood there. Then the Gordons, the atrocities that they put them through just to get to you. Again you’re dragged out of your trance tears running down your face. 

“You knew… You knew all this time didn’t you?” It was the only thing that you could say looking at Steve. “That’s not all… you shall experience the wrath of both father and daughter.” He plays a video of you, a mere child five or six at the most, tortured deafening screams sounding through the space. “He’s my friend…” You scoff looking at him. “I was your friend… Do you have any idea what It feels like…” You say walking towards him. Tony notices Bucky aims his weapon at you, and he blasts him. “You’ve done enough damage… you hurt her over my dead body.” You shake your head. “I was going to kill them… I thought that they did this to me. That they were the ones that broke me.” Steve stands his ground. “I couldn’t tell you” Is all he says. “You say that because you didn't live through it… maybe if you did you’d understand?” You tilt your head, your eyes now shining white, you show him. “Stop… y/n. Stop” You make your way towards Bucky. “Does this hurt to watch, did it hurt when I asked, WHEN I BEGGED YOU TO STOP!” The fight that ensued made sure that you were all broken by the time it neared its end. Steve was over you, his shield rising and falling on your suit, until it powered down. The tears that ran down your respective faces did no justice to the pain either of you were experiencing. 

You watch as he takes Bucky in his arms, he’s missing his metal arm. “That shield doesn't belong to you… You don't deserve it. My grandfather made it!” He drops the shield and doesn’t look back. Seconds after he leaves you Tony comes limping in. “Are you okay?” He kneels down as he asks in a soft voice. You merely shake your head before your eyes are watering. “It was horrible…” You say as sobs start wracking through your body. Tony only pulls you close and hugs you, silent tears falling down his face. The compound feels empty, they are gone and there was nothing that you could do about it. Tony walks in with you sound asleep in his arms, Nat greets him on the Helipad. “What happened?” She asks worriedly, noticing the disheveled state that you were both in. He shakes his head. “It’s best if she tells you…” Is all he says before he follows Nat back to her room and lays you down. He pulls her out of the room quietly. “Don't hurt her…” He says quickly. Natasha is amused, but the look on Tony’s eyes makes her features settle. “She won't survive it.” It’s all he says before walking away. 

As Nat walks back in she takes you in, small and the defeated look on your face makes her heart ache. She settled in bed behind you wrapping her arms around you. You stir a little, you hum and hold her arms in place. “I’m sorry…” You mutter out half asleep. “For what moya lyubov?” She asks quietly. “I’m broken…” You hum quietly before dosing back to sleep. 

[fictionalabyss]

Protector : Questioned.

Pairing :   Dean x F!Reader, Alex (OC), Sam, Detective Baker (OC)

Word count : 1,463

Warnings : Time jump - little over 4 years after chapter 10. Illegal questioning of a minor.  Fear and anxiety of what's to come. Series TW : Domestic Abuse is a constant topic- be it mentioned, or actually happening.

Continuation of this series was commissioned by : @iflostreturntosteverogers​​

Part 11 of Protector.

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Alex sat at the table quietly, eyes downcast on his hands that were clasped in his lap. The offered glass of water on the table sat untouched.  He’d been silent since entering the room, not a word no matter what they said. They had been nice enough at the start, but they were getting angry. They were running out of time, he knew it, they knew it, hell, they knew he knew it.

“Look, kid, we know you know something. You aren’t stupid. You live with the guy, you work for him-”

“I work in a garage.” Alex finally spoke, though he still didn’t look up at the detective who was leaning on the table. “I work on cars for dumbasses who don’t know the ‘check engine’ light means to check your fucking engine.” He finally looked up. “That's all I know.”

“You work in their garage.”

“I work in a garage. I don’t know who owns it.” Alex shrugged, and that seemed to piss the detective off, he could tell by the way his jaw ticked.

“Yeah? And who got you that job?”

“I applied for it.” Alex dead panned. “I gave my resume to every garage in town, they just offered me better pay.” Alex shrugged. “If you know so much about me, then you know I've had a knack for cars and engineering for years. Want to know about my middle school science fair project?”

“You and Dean left the state a few weeks back-”

“Visiting schools. It’s why I work, to pay for college.”

“Why the extra muscle then?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were accompanied by-” the detective flipped open the folder on the table. The first page had Dean’s mugshot and a list of information, but Alex barely got a look at it as the pages turned. “Sam Winchester, and one Ash ‘Dr Badass’ Miles.”

“An Alumni of the school showing me around.” Alex shrugged. “What's your point?”

“My point is, son, you’re in danger.” Alex laughed at that. “You think that’s funny? You live and work with the men who, we are convinced, killed your father.”

“Dean is my father.”

“Your real father.”

“My ‘real father’ beat the shit out of me and my mom and tried to kill us before disappearing. He’s a missing person that for some fucked up reason you’re still looking for.”

“Because we’re convinced that Dean had him killed.”

“Yeah? When I was 5, I was convinced that my dad was the best dad on the plant. Sometimes, people are just wrong.”  The door burst open, and Alex just smiled at the detective. “Time’s up.”

“Let’s go, Alex.”

“Ma’am-” The detective held out his hand to try and stop Alex from standing and leaving.

“You! You have some fucking nerve dragging a 17 year old boy in here.” You took a step closer, finger pointed at him. “You have no fucking right to ask him anything without a parent or a lawyer, and I know for a fact he asked for both when he walked into the station. So now, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer for harassing my son.”

“Your husband killed his father.” The detective countered. “Don’t you want justice?”

“If he���s dead, big fucking if, justice has been served. Leave my son alone. Out, Alex.”

Alex stood and gave the detective a polite smile. “Sorry, bud. You fucked up.”

“Alex!” You shot him a glare as he left the room, then turned that glare on the detective. “Stay away from my son.” you growled before turning on your heel and storming out.

Dean was standing next to the Impala when you both walked out. “You okay?” He asked, eyes on Alex.

“I’m fine, Dean. Really, I’m okay.” Alex smiled and opened the back door.

Dean cupped your face as you got close to him. “Are you okay?”

“They took him in for questioning.. For what? Why harass a teenage boy?”

“I don’t know, baby. Sammy’s buddy from Stanford is already flying in, he’s good.” You gave him a nod and he pressed his lips to your forehead, his eyes going behind you as the door opened and the detective stepped out. Dean’s jaw ticked, and you looked up at him. “Let’s go home.”

You turned and glanced back at the detective as Dean opened the passenger side door for you. You slid in, and Dean shut the door behind you. Your attention on the detective who stood watching the three of you with his arms crossed over his chest. “Where’s Abby?” Alex asked, pulling your attention back.

“At home, with Uncle Sam.” you answered as Dean pulled open the driver side door and slid in.

“When your mom called me in a panic, we both hauled ass to the house.” Dean added after his door had shut and he was starting up the engine. He didn’t talk again until he was well away from the curb. “What’d they want anyways? Why’d they grab you from school?”

Alex shrugged. “They were asking about you.”

“About me?” Dean glanced over as you looked at him with worry.

“Mhm.” Alex hummed, looking out the window. “They’re sure I know more than I let on about what you do, where you go and who you meet. They knew we went to Michigan and who with.”

“What’d you tell them?”

“Not much.” Alex shrugged. “That I don’t know shit, I work for the garage who offered to pay me the most and Michigan was a trip with my family to visit a college.” He glanced to the front seat at Dean, eyes meeting in the rear view. “The truth. Dude’s pretty convinced you're a killer, though, and that mom and I are in danger.”

Dean’s brow furrowed and he risked a glance behind him. His eyes were back on the road when he felt your hand on his lap, squeezing it. He chanced a glance your way to see the worried look on your face had deepened.

Dean pulled into the driveway, and Alex was the first out of the car. You slipped from the car next as he turned off the engine. He could see from the way you held yourself that something was bugging you. With a sigh, Dean exited the car.

“Baby,” Dean stopped you from going past him, his hands cupping your face. “What’s wrong? Alex is fine, he-”

“They’re saying you killed his father, they’re saying I should want justice for that. As if him being dead wouldn’t be justice for what happened to us.” you glanced up at Dean. “I don't want to know, I don’t care. I just- He said it in front of Alex. Who knows what else he said to him before we could get here..”

“They don’t have anything or they wouldn’t be harassing the kid. They’ve been doing this shit for years, a few too many bar fights and suddenly you’re the scum of the earth.” Dean half chuckled. “Anything they can slap us with, they will. I’m just sorry you guys are being dragged into it.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Dean.”

“You won't, baby, I promise.” He ducked his head so his lips could meet yours.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked from the doorway, and the kiss broke, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth as you pulled away from Dean.

“Go inside, baby. I’ll be in in a minute.” You nodded and headed in, slipping past Sam without a word. Dean motioned for Sam to come closer as he leaned against the Impala.

“What’d they pull the kid in for?”

“Us. More specifically me. Asked about the garage, the trip to Michigan, told the kid I killed his father.” Dean shrugged.

“Jesus Christ..” Sam was actually stunned by that last one. Sure, the families occasionally got harassed if someone got caught doing some rough shit, but never had a kid been grabbed from school and had shit thrown at them like that. “They’re getting ballsy..”

“When’s Brady getting here?”

“Uh- Tomorrow morning. His flight lands at like 7am, I think he said?”

“Thank fuck  you went to college, Sammy.” Dean pat his brother on the back. “Abby good?”

“Yeah, she was good.” Sam smiled. “Always is for me. How’s the wife?”

Dean sucked his teeth as he started towards the house, brother in tow. “Pregnant, pissed and scared, Sammy. And this time, it’s on me. Fuckin’ Baker.”

“Baker? The same asshole who tried to throw you in prison last time?”

“Shit, yeah eh?” Dean smiled. “I should send him a gift basket or a thank you card, he’s the reason I met her.” Dean stopped outside the door laughing. “Fuck, imagine that on his conscious?” Dean was still laughing as he entered his home, Sam shaking his head behind him.

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Tagging :  Protector : @jaycc7983 @volleyballer519  @meganlpie  @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo  @londoncallingbutiwontpickup  @voltage-my2dlove​

Dean - @akshi8278​  @adoptdontshoppets​   @evyiione​ @karikatz12481​ @idksupernatural​

SPN -  @sandlee44  @just-another-busy-fangirl  @mrswhozeewhatsis   @deanandsamsbitch  @deans-baby-momma  @thebescht @67-chevy-baby @supraveng   @musiclovinchic93 @holyfuckloueh  @ksgeekgirl   @hobby27 @maddiepants  @roxyspearing @onethirstyunicorn    @fandom-princess-forevermore     @kalesrebellion   @deanwanddamons​

All tags - @sorenmarie87 @artemisthebadger @winchesterprincessbride @iflostreturntosteverogers @akfonkin​ @rebelminxy​ @foxyjwls007​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @shaelyn102​ @supernaturalenchanted​  @kazkingdom​   @babypink224221​  @emoryhemsworth​    @ilovefanfic86​  @pie-with-hunters​   @anaelsbrunette​ @lazinessisalliknow​  @feelmyroarrrr​  @letsdisneythings​   @cdwmtjb8​   @notyourtypicalrose​  @xostephanie​  @marvelmenmusicandroses @ilovedeanspie​ @defenderrosetyler​ @amandamdiehl​

[hale-13]

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2020 Whump Bingo (25 Works)

Camisado (Apologizing Before They Pass Out)

A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out (Becoming Giggly From Blood Loss or High Fever)

Death of a Bachelor (Touching Clothing and Hand Comes Away Bloody)

Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time (Moving in a Way That Causes Pain and Tensing Up Against It)

This Isn’t The Worst Thing You’ve Seen Me Do (Chugging Caffeine to Try and Fight the Inevitable Crash)

Lie of Omission (Touching Their Head and Feeling Their Own Temperature Rise)

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Vent Your Spleen (Breathing Hard to Concentrate Through the Pain)

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Amygdala (Trying to be Subtle While Leaning Against Objects to Stay Upright)

Vonnegut (Voice Hitching as They Speak)

The Softest of Endings (Dozing When They Shouldn’t - Startled Awake)

Summer of Whump 2021 (COMPLETE)

Triple Axel (Day 1 - Freezing) AO3

Enterobacter (Day 2 - Food Poisoning) AO3

Submersion (Day 3 - Drowning) AO3

Slipping Through the Cracks (Day 5 - Broken) AO3

Hold Onto the Faith as I Dig Another Grave (Day 6 - Buried) AO3

Ultraviolet (Day 7 - Sunburn) AO3

Ulcerated (Day 8 - Force Feeding) AO3

Euarthropoda (Day 9 - Bugs) AO3

Caved In (Day 10 - Trapped) AO3

Hold Fasts (Day 11 - Whipping) AO3

Caliber (Day 12 - Death) AO3

In The Atmosphere (Day 13 - Sacrificed) AO3

Violation of Order (Day 14 - Hair Grabbing) AO3

Better Together (Day 15 - Sleep Deprivation) AO3

Conditioned (Day 16 - Hair Washing) AO3

Shackled (Day 17 - Collared) AO3

Syncope (Day 18 - Collapse) AO3

Scare Tactics (Day 19 - Fear) AO3

Zero Days Without Incident (Day 20 - Defiance) AO3

Dazed and Confused (Day 21 - Panic) AO3

Five Stages (Day 22 - Grief) AO3

Febrile (Day 23 - Sick) AO3

En Pointe (Day 24 - Stitches) AO3

Detached (Day 25 - Isolation) AO3

Strangulated (Day 26 - Asphyxiation) AO3

Trapezius (Day 27 - Injured) AO3

State of Grace (Day 28 - Display) AO3

Airway (Day 29 - Control) AO3

Engulfed (Day 30 - Crying) AO3

One Shots

I’m Not Scared (of the dark) (Complete 8/14/20)

(Not my best work fyi - and I kinda hate it - but it was my first so I felt guilty not including it...)

Peter is just so tired. The world is too loud, his head is too full. Maybe his coping mechanism to keep things quiet and calm isn’t the most well adjusted but Mr. Stark is dealing with the fallout from the Accords and he can’t inconvenience anyone anymore.

Chaptered Works - Completed

We Can’t Have Faith For Everybody (10 Chapters, Complete 5/1/21)

It starts like this:

MJ and Flash, hands cuffed to each other and Peter, wrists and ankles held to the wall by thick metal cuffs and dangling in a way that’s surely to leave his shoulders aching.

The first week Peter, verbally, gives as good as he gets. He never lashes out physically and always does what their captors want the first time they ask. He still spends most of his time that he is in the cell chained uncomfortably to the wall. After the first week someone, apparently, decides that Peter is weak enough from the constant abuse and malnourishment that he is no longer chained up after his sessions; just dropped unceremoniously onto the dirty floor and left for MJ and Flash to care for.

Chaptered Works - In Progress (Coming Soon)

When the Dust Settles (? Chapters, Publishing in Oct/Nov)

[stressisakiller]

Little Sister

Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU

(Hello Sunflower Part 8)

Summary:  Tony has some explaining to do

Warnings: References to murder referenced child abuse also cussing, but I feel like its warranted

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N:   Lot of new information in this one as well. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests for future chapters! Thank yall for reading!

Series Masterlist

<< Previous   Next >>

When you were little, you had looked up to your father, what little girl didn’t believe that their father hung the moon? That quickly changed when you were five and your father took you with him to work. You had always wondered what kind of father could have done the things that your father did to you. Now you understood. A father who wasn’t your father at all. 

Your eyes were wide as you stared at Tony, your thoughts going a million miles an hour, racing past in an almost unintelligible stream. Wait, he’s your brother? Not only your brother but your twin brother? That meant your father wasn’t actually your father. You weren’t related to that asshole at all! Fuck. fuck. You… you killed… how could you… how could he… no. no. no. There had to be a mistake, you couldn’t have. And yet. 

All eyes were on you. Watching your emotions race across your face, watching as your eyes widened in understanding. Watching as your eyes glassed over and you broke. 

The ground was hard, unforgiving under the weight of your body. Legs no longer willing to hold you as grief washed over you. A strange feeling of warmth brought you back. A hand sure and strong on your arm, a lifeline, pulling you out of the depths of your grief. Eyes focusing on the face of your soulmate crouching in front of you, concern etched in every line of his skin. Blinking the tears away you looked at him, the man you had saved, the only good thing you had ever done. His words rumbling in your ears as he murmured to you.

“Come back to me my love, the past no longer holds you, I am here.”

His voice pulling you firmly out of the abyss. Staring at his features just a moment longer before looking at the man who called himself your brother. 

“How?” your voice sounded scratchy in your ears, “How are you my twin?”

Tony’s eyes were soft as he gazed at you, everyone else turned to him, waiting for the explanation.

“When I was young,” He began, taking a seat on the floor in front of you, “my parents told me that I was not meant to be an only child. I had a twin, a sister. My mother’s labor was long and arduous, we were not positioned in the best way for an easy birth. When I came out I was slightly blue, apparently, I wasn’t getting enough air while being born. The nurses took care of me, making sure that I suffered no lasting damage. When my sister was born, there was no crying, no sign of life. Mother said that the nurse seemed to be acting strange about it but that she was too medicated to do anything. The nurse pronounced the baby dead and took her from the room. My parents never saw her again, and they never truly recovered from it. When they first told me about it I thought nothing of it, but as I got older something about the story started to bug me.” He stood up at that, beginning to pace across the room,

 “ I began to look into it, I searched for the records of my birth and found the hospital and the name of the nurse that had been in the room. I discovered that shortly after my birth she was found dead in an alley, a single gunshot wound to the head. That obviously piqued my curiosity and I searched deeper. I finally found that she had been given a large sum of money days prior to my birth. She was paid to steal one of Howard Starks’ babies. I found the proof in the police reports, they cataloged anything suspicious or strange at the nurse’s house. Specifically a note, she had written the day before she was killed, she said that she was sorry and that she had been forced. She didn’t give a name but in the corner, she drew an octopus.” He stopped, letting the information soak in. His body in front of your spot on the floor. Wide eyes looked up at him, your mouth parted in shock, realization flooding over you 

“Hydra,” the name came from your lips little more than a breath. “Hydra paid her to steal me from my family.” Tony nodded slowly face solemn. “I could have been normal, I could have been raised by someone who loved me. My whole life is a lie.” 

Anger and confusion began to bubble in your veins, thoughts of how much different your life could have been. Your fists clenching as the man you had called father flashed before your eyes. You stood quickly looking around at your friends, all of their eyes filled with pity save one. Bucky looked angry, pissed at the people that had done this to you. He caught your eyes and you motioned for him to follow you, 

“I need a minute, I need to release some steam, or I will explode. I am going to the training room, I need to punch something and I’d rather it not be one of you.” Turning quickly you stalked to the practice rooms. Stripping out of your jacket and shoes, wrapping your hands before stepping onto the mats. Bucky mirrored your movements, knowing exactly what you needed. Stepping on the mat in front of you, he didn’t speak, he simply waited for you to make the first move. Stepping forward you struck, Buky blocking with one arm and throwing a punch with the other. Ducking you avoid his fist, bringing up your leg and kicking him in the stomach sending him back a couple of steps. And so you continued, falling into a steady rhythm, moving around each other in a violent dance. Years of training together are obvious in the knowledge you had of each other's bodies, knowing each other's weak points and yet choosing not to exploit them, at least not this time. Grabbing his arm during a punch and using your momentum to throw your legs over his shoulders you pull him to the ground in a chokehold. Both of you breathing hard as he taps out, your anger spent. You are ready to talk. Turning to leave the room, you are surprised to see Tony standing near the door watching. 

“Hey,” you say, walking up to him.

“Hey, nice fighting there.” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah, well I’ve had a lot of practice,” you shrug, not knowing what else to say about it.

“Come on,” he said throwing his arm around your shoulder, “Let go talk, I know a great spot”

Tony leads you to the kitchen grabbing you water and a snack, and whiskey for himself, before leading you to the elevator. He presses a button that needs his fingerprint and you feel the elevator begin to rise. You end up on a roof terrace. 

“This is my secret place, the place I go when the world and my lab get to be too much.” He gestures to the green space around you, a small couch and table in the middle surrounded by a multitude of plants. You can’t help but smile, it seems so opposite to the Tony you know to have a secret garden, and yet, it makes perfect sense. He leads you over to the couch, relaxing for a moment before speaking.

“I know that you’ve had a lot to take in today and it’s getting late but I really wanted to be able to talk with you before sleeping.” he seems nervous as he speaks as if he isn’t sure just how you will respond. To ease his nerves you give him a small smile.

“I would like that,” you state, turning on the couch so that you are facing him. “I still can’t believe that I’m your twin sister, especially considering that you’re now physically older than me. I hate that we didn’t get the chance to grow up together.” your brow furrowing as you speak, thinking about all the things that you missed out on.

“Hey,” He says softly placing his hand on yours, “it’s not your fault, and I’m just happy to get to spend time with you now, knowing that you are my sister.” Nodding, you try to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Can you forgive me?” your voice comes out as a broken whisper, “I killed our parents.” your head drops, and you feel the tears well up. “I murdered our father as he begged for our mom’s life, and at the time I felt no remorse. How could you ever forgive me? How can I ever forgive myself?” Your whole body trembled as you started to sob. 

Tony pulls you into his arms holding you close as only an older brother can do, comforting you as the tears pour down your face. 

“Oh little one,” his voice is soft, “How could I ever hate you? How could I not forgive you for something that you had no control over? There was nothing that you could do, the only one to blame for this is Hydra. Not you, not ever.” you pull back looking into his face, searching for any condemnation and yet finding none. 

“I will admit that at first, I was furious, I couldn’t believe that someone I trusted could have done that to my parents. Then I walked away, and all I could hear was your broken voice saying that they did this to you when you were only 11. You were still a child and yet they did this to you.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing, 

“I met this kid a couple of years ago, his name is Harley, he helped me out when I needed it. I thought about how old you were when this happened and my mind saw him. How would I feel if this kid came up to me and told me the same thing that you just did? As soon as I saw him, my anger at you was gone. My anger at Hydra on the other hand is alive and well.” His lip tugged up for a moment before falling. 

“You’re my sister, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know what it’s like to have a family that loves you.” He paused for a second before grinning, “Now about the Winter Soldier.” You smacking him lightly, chuckling through your tears.

“He’s my soulmate, so sucks for you, but he’s not going anywhere. I’ve worked too damn hard to get us free and safe to lose him now.” There was a ferocity in your voice as you spoke, Tony smiled to himself as he heard it, you had your spark back, he had been afraid that it was gone after everything that happened that day.

 He raised his hands up in a placating manner, 

“Alright, Alright the grizzly bear stays! Although I’m not sure how I feel about my little sister living in the same room as a boy.” The teasing sound of his voice and shit-eating grin causing you to laugh.

“Well tough, you may be my brother but that doesn’t mean you get to choose who I sleep with,” you said, grinning at the fake shock on his face at your words.

“Well I never,” His voice took on a thick fake southern accent, his hand dramatically clutching his heart, “That is no way for a young lady to speak!” 

You giggled again leaning against him. You sat like that for a long while, just soaking in everything you learned today and how much your life had changed in the last two years. Stretching, you finally stood, 

“I should go find Bucky,” you said looking at Tony, who was still seated. “I know he’s worried about me and we need to talk about everything.” Tony smiled, 

“Well, I think I’ll just stay up here for a while and have a bit of a drink.” He raised the whiskey glass in his hand. “Let me know if you need anything and just ask Jarvis to lead you to your room if you need, it’s the same one as last time.” You nodded, giving him a small smile,

“Goodnight big brother,” 

“Goodnight, little one.” 

Walking into your room you were happy to see that it was mostly the same as last time, all of your stuff still on the walls. The main difference was the muscley man leaning against the headboard. His hair laid limp on his head, still wet from the shower, he must have taken. His eyes opened at the sound of you entering and he quickly stood and pulled you into a hug. You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped when you felt Bucky shake his head.

“Shh Sunflower, we don’t need to talk about it right now. You are still the same woman I fell in love with, we just know a little bit more about where you came from now.” 

You smiled into his chest, heartwarming at his words. Of course, he understood, who could understand more? You thanked your lucky star that this wonderful man is your soulmate. He pulled back, quickly kissing your forehead,

“Ok doll, it’s been a day. Go on and take a hot shower, make it as long as you need, and then when you’re done we can lay down.” He gently pushed you towards the bathroom. Stepping away from his warmth you grabbed onto his hand, pulling him with you. 

The heat from the water running over your shoulders caused you to sigh. You were leaning forward, forehead pressed against Bucky’s chest as he gently washed your hair. Gently massaging the knots in your shoulders, causing your eyes to shut in exhaustion. He finished helping you wash up and gently helped dry you off. The adrenaline from the day had faded, leaving you dead on your feet. Picking you up, bridal style, he walked you over to the bed and softly laid you down, turning off the lights before he finally joined you. You snuggled into his chest, basking in the feeling of his heartbeat. The last thing you heard before succumbing to sleep was bucky’s soft voice, 

“Sleep my little sunflower, I’ve got you.”

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 11

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2180

Warnings: minor angst

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note:  Written with @fanficwriter013​ who keeps forgetting to tag me in the author’s notes.

Chapter 11: The Meaning of Bonding

We made our way to our chambers and I took a seat on the couch while the kids played.  Loki summoned a book and began pawing through it opposite me, while Thor, Steve, and Tony all paced.  Fandral, Hogan, Volstagg, and Sif all stood at different intervals around the room.

“So what exactly is the bonding ceremony?  What does it mean?”  Steve asked.

“The lore says that the king or queen is allowed to be untethered as long as an heir does not exist.  Once one does, they must bond.”  Thor said.

“Yes, but what does it mean?  You were planning to bond with all three of us, right?  So is there a choice or does Elise have to be part of this?”  Steve pressed.

“I have a choice.  I do not have to bond with someone simply because we created a life together, but I must make one.  You are my chosen people though.  If I am being forced into this, I would prefer it to be with all of you.”  Thor said.

“Would bonding mean anything changes for you?  What you’re allowed to do?”  Steve asked.

“Or who you’re allowed to do?”  Tony added.

“I don’t believe so. It’s like a marriage contract in that the conditions are set by the people in it.”  Thor explained.  “But there would always be a connection between me and those I bond with.  Our souls and our destinies would be entwined.”

“That’s not so bad then, is it?”  I said looking up at him.  “The being forced into it isn’t ideal.  But we kind of are that already, aren’t we?”

“In a way,” Thor agreed.

“They do know if you bond to me it’s not going to last though, right?”  I asked.  “I’m like a blip for you.  I’m temporary.”

Loki looked up from the book and shook his head.  “Not according to this.”

Our heads all snapped towards Loki.  “What?”

“Your souls will be bonded. That means, your life would be extended to match Thor’s.  You would cease being so temporary.”  Loki explained.

My stomach lurched and I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “So you’re telling me that tonight, without asking us, your council nearly made Tony and I immortal?”

“We aren’t immortal, fool.”  Loki snarked.

“Not exactly my point, Loki.  They can’t just play with our lives like that!”  I snapped.  “They nearly made it so that Tony and I would have to watch our son grow old and die while we didn’t change and didn’t think to let us in on that?”

“I have to do the same,” Thor said quietly.  “With more than just my son.”

“So what?  That makes it okay that they curse us with that too without our consent?”

“No.  But you don’t just get to throw loss in my face like that!”  Thor roared.  “I will outlive you all!”

Both the kids looked up at us in shock and Pietro’s lip began to quiver.

“You think I don’t know that?  You think I don’t worry about that for you and Steve and Bucky and now Riley too?  But they don’t get to decide for me because you’re worried about losing us.”  I shouted.

“It is not my fault they did this!  But do not think you know for a second what it feels like to know that I will outlive you all.  The moments where I forget about that are rare.”

I got up and moved to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.  “I’m sorry.  You’re always so… fine… I just thought… I don’t know.”

“That because I’m so outwardly positive I don’t feel any negative emotions?”  Thor asked.

“No.  That it was something you went into just accepting.  That … you loved us, but it was the way someone loves their dog.  Knowing it was temporary.  Knowing they’ll be sad when they’re gone but not really thinking about that until it happens and then moving on.”  I explained.

“You are not dogs.”

I shook my head.  “No.  But we aren’t Asgardian either.  What did Clint say you called us, Loki?”

Loki chuckled.  “Ants.  I planned to step on you.  Sometimes I still think that would be a nice idea.”

Thor glared at his brother.  “I am not Loki.  And nor was that really.”

I rubbed my face on his chest.  “I guess… I just… I’m sorry.  I just… Bucky once told me that the reason he and Steve spend so much time just the two of them was because they knew that one day it was probably just going to be the two of them.  It never occurred to me that you would choose us knowing that you’d lose us and just willingly go through that when you could choose your own people and not if you hadn’t just come to terms with it.”

He rubbed my back slowly and put his chin on the top of my head.  “The heart wants what it wants.  Sometimes the experience is worth the inevitable pain.”

I took a breath and let it out shakily.  “It’s not a no, Thor.  I just… I don’t like it nearly happened without my consent.  I need to think about it.  I need to talk to the others about it.  Knowing this, I think … people need to be informed to choose.”

“We only have two weeks,”  Thor said.

I looked back over at Steve.  “We need the others.”

“I’ll send Sif.  She can explain it and bring them back.”  Thor said.

“It might take them a couple of days to set up the facility to run without any of us there.  We might need to bring Rhodey in and maybe Coulson and his crew too.”  Steve said.

“Are you sure you will be okay with me gone for that long?”  Sif asked.

Thor nodded.  “I’ll work it so that everyone is guarded.”

“Be careful of Natasha.  Approach Clint or Wanda first.”  Steve said.

Sif bowed and tapped her breastplate before running out of the room.

“Alright.  Who wants to comfort our little boy after their fight?”  Steve asked.

I let go of Thor and went over to Pietro and scooped him up.  “I’m so sorry, sweetie.  Did we scare you?”

Pietro nodded, his bottom lip sticking out.

I kissed his temple.  “I’m sorry.  We’re okay.  Sometimes people don’t always agree on everything.  I shouldn’t have shouted.  Daddy Thor and I are okay.  Are you okay?”

He shook his head.

“Oh no.  What’s wrong?”  I asked.

“Where’s mama?”

“She’s not here right now.  Just me, Daddy Thor, Daddy Steve, and Daddy Tony.”  I said.

Pietro made grabby hands for Tony and I passed him over.  “Are we playing pass the kid around here?”

“Apparently,”  I said as there was a knock on the door and Volstagg led in a group of people with trays of food.

Riley ran over and started trying to scale up the side of one of the carts.

“Excuse me, Princess.  I would advise against doing that.”  A man who looked like he might be in charge of the food said.

Steve went over and scooped her up off the ground and she started to try and clamber over him to get to the food.

“Just a moment, little princess.”  The chef said.  “We have courses to set up.”

“Be patient, bug,”  Steve said.  “Where are your manners?”

“Sorry, Mister Guy,”  Riley said, settling in Steve’s arms.

The chef chuckled and bowed a little.  “It is forgiven, little princess.  The honor is all mine.”

The food was arranged and the chef turned to Thor and bowed saying something in Asgardian before they all left.

Steve got Riley a plate and set her at the table before going and helping himself, while Thor, Loki and I all got up and came over.  “You hungry, Tony?  You and Pietro want a plate?”

“I do.  Pietro is asleep and drooling on the Gucci.”  Tony said.

“Oh god, he’s going to be so hungry when he wakes up.”  I sighed.

“That can be Thor’s problem,”  Tony said.

We all sat back around the couch and I started to eat.  Everything was delicious. Similar to food on earth, but not quite the same.  Sometimes I would go to eat something I thought was sweet and it would be savory, or vice versa.

“Can I… alright… I don’t know how to phrase this.”  I said looking at Thor.

“What is it?”  He asked.

“If this would mean you don’t have to lose us, do you still not want to do it?”  I asked.

“I still don’t like that the option was taken away from me,”  Thor said.  “But I can’t say I’m not scared that if you do do it, that one day you might decide you no longer need me around on Midgard.  I am away so much.  The bond will cause a great deal of anguish with us being apart and is hard to sever.”

I looked at Tony and Steve and then back at Thor.  “I knew these guys a long time before I even met you.  I had been in a relationship with Natasha for almost a year before we met.  And I can tell you, even before you showed up that day when I called, I knew how much you meant to them.  They spoke about you like you hung the moon and the stars.  They love you so much.  I love you so much.  And now, on top of that, we have a daughter.  We are bonded.  Rules or no rules, we are.  If we never went through this ceremony we’re bonded in a way that the only way you lose any of us, is if someone dies.”

Thor let out a breath and I could almost see the tension leave him.  He nodded a little and put his hand on my leg.

“So you don’t have to worry about us deciding we don’t want you around.  We countdown the days for you to show up.  The only reason I freaked out initially is I want us all to be part of this.”  I explained.  “Now I just need to come to terms with the living so long thing.”

“According to the book, you will gain abilities too,”  Loki said.

“What?”  I asked and Tony snapped his head around to look at Loki.

“It says they vary between individuals.  I couldn’t say what that means.”  Loki said.

“Are you fucking with us, Reindeer Games?”  Tony asked.

“I assure you, I have no interest in fucking with any of you.”  Loki sneered.

Riley climbed down from her chair and came over to Steve holding up a fist full of food.  “Here go, daddy.”

“Thank you, munchkin.  Are you done?”  Steve said, biting some of the pile of mush.

“Mmm… yep.”  She said.

“Alright, miss.  Bathtime and bed.”  I said, scooping her up.

There was a little whining and struggling as I got her washed and into bed, including a naked streak through the living room that Thor had to catch her in the middle of.  When she was finally falling asleep Loki brought Pietro in and put him down without him even stirring.

“Man, she is not normally that hyped up,”  I said as I flopped back on the couch.

“Well, she did spend the afternoon with the Warriors,”  Loki said.

“That’s true.  You guys wear her out?”  I asked.

“It would be more accurate to say she wore us out,”  Hogun answered.

“My best warriors ill-equipped to handle my daughter?”  Thor teased.

“At least we came out of it with all our hair, your majesty.”  Fandral shot back.

Thor laughed loudly.  “Just you wait.”

“I find it impressive that Loki managed to move Pietro without waking him.  Only, Elly, Wanda and on the rare occasion Clint can do that.”  Steve said.

Loki shrugged.  “He was a bag of bricks.  I don’t see how it was a challenge.”

I sighed and sank back in my chair.  “Would you ask us now, Thor?  Knowing it would mean you would keep us.  If it wasn’t forced, would you ask?”

“Yes, Elise. I would ask.”  Thor said.

“Steve?”  I said.

“What?”

“Tell me what to do.”

Steve shook his head.  “I’m biased, El.  And you know it.”

“No, but… you know what it’s like.”  I said.

“For me, it means my life might eventually end, El.  It means we won’t be left alone.  Do you know how much of a gift that is for me?  Of course, I want you to do it.  But I wouldn’t wish losing everyone you love again-and-again on anyone.”  He said.  “You have to decide on your own.”

“I can’t stop thinking about Pietro.  How he’d be aging and the rest of us just have to watch.”  I said.

“So we marry him off to an Asgardian.  He can get the bond too.”  Tony said.

“Tony, you know we can’t force that on him,”  I said.  “If it happens, great, but we can’t count on it.”

Thor stood up suddenly and looked around.  “Something isn’t right.”

// NEXT

[msilr]

Chapters: 40/40 Fandom: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Minor characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Tony Stark, OMCs Additional Tags: Horror, Body Horror, Gore, Graphic Description of Injury, Injury Recovery, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Medical Trauma, Skin Loss, weight loss, Medical Accuracy, Serum Heals Everything, Aphasia, Compulsion, Alien Flora & Fauna, Bugs & Insects, Worms, Medical Reports, Interviews, Mystery, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Angst, Established Relationship, Temporary Character Death, Embedded Images, Images of insects, Eventual Happy Ending, happy enough at least Summary:

[Transcript 00:11:48]

MS: You were with him the most throughout the course of events, both before and after. Your account could shed light on something we may have missed.

JB: What difference will that make?

MS: It could make all the difference. Captain Rogers’ case is unprecedented, he’s the most intact victim we’ve ever recovered-

JB: [laughing] You call that intact?

-Excerpt of Interview with Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes regarding the Incident.

Bookmarker's Notes:

Not the horror story it seems at first! Really it's SF, and more about love and resilience and viruses and communication and not getting too squicked by worms. Not going to spoil it any more.

I definitely recommend giving it a try

[stories-mostly]

Masterlist

Stark's Bug Tony Stark x son!reader (platonic)

Chapter: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13; 14; 15; 16; 17; 18; 19

TikTok Peter Parker x GN!reader

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Lovebug (11/14)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Notes: Feedback is very much appreciated :D

Levi could only be grateful that Petra had taken charge.

He was in no mood to do much but sit down, maybe get the gears of his brain moving when questions on coding or troubleshooting were directed to him. When the questions were on expected behavior of application, on known bugs, the motions in his mind were automatic, the responses that followed were second nature.

In that particular role, he was certain he’d be functional at the least.

There were questions about the overall testing process though that required more consideration, more planning and maybe some drawing. They weren’t formulaic. They required an overall different approach, a different part of the brain and Levi was only further convinced of that as he watched Petra draw over the floor plan with pencil.

He didn’t make sense of it at first and maybe all he needed was just a little push in the right logical direction.

Petra’s explanations were a godsend. “With the size of the gym, we can manage thirty tests at once…” She drew circles over the gym, evenly spaced. “We do it all at once, then we have them exit through here. ” She continued to trace the path from the front of the gymnasium to the back. “Then they answer the questionnaire over here, then one of the facilitators will submit it to the moderator’s table.”

The line that weaved efficiently through markers was a sign enough that she had put much thought into the overall planning process.

The moderator's tables was strategically positioned on one corner of the gym, angled in such a way to be inconspicuous.

Levi looked back for a second, noting, it's almost invisible presence next to the stage and the stored sports equipment.

And all I have to do is sit here, listen and answer questions right? Levi wished he could have asked it out loud. What kind of head engineer would he seem like if he did though? He went for the less desirable option of just keeping quiet, instead letting whatever questions in his brain out as one raised eyebrow.

“We want to make the most of our resources here so Eld, Oluo, Gunther, can facilitate. Make sure that none of the Love Alarms are on silent, that all the questionnaires are answered then mark on the box if it did ring. And Levi…” Petra turned to Levi. “I recommend you stay in the moderator’s table, encode the data, and stand by for any issues that may come up.”

Levi nodded. “That sounds like a plan.” He forced those last words out of his mouth while brushing off the almost guilt inducing relief at the confirmation of his own job and soon after that, the painful awareness of his own strange disconnect from the overall testing process

Petra though, had proven more qualified to take over. She had taken it upon herself since even the planning stages, coordinating with the logistics team, coordinating with the marketing team. Thus, she was in a better position anyway to brief people.

More importantly, she was admirably calm and professional about the whole process of presenting a plan in front of one of the biggest investors of the company. A very glaring reminder why she had been assigned to front office work since the start.

It wasn’t at all difficult to admit that Petra deserved to manage it.

So he let her take free rein. Levi leaned back on the wall, arms crossed as he watched the hand drawn lines darken under Petra’s delicate motions. He was tempted to doze off and a few times he did, especially when Petra took some time out to mention the specific responsibilities of facilitators.

When she mentioned the data encoding process, Levi forced himself to listen. Moments after that, when Petra shifted to other topics, he found himself darting his eyes across the small crowd, letting his eyes land on Zeke. The view of Zeke standing on one side of the table, looking deep in thought sent a rush of urgency through him, a very natural reaction to money, corporate obligation.

And something else.

Something unfamiliar and unwelcome. Sadness? Before Levi could even pin down the emotion, he was already following Zeke’s gaze.

Those blue eyes were tracing the plans on the table. Levi observed for a while, making quick guesses of what Zeke had been watching on the table, maybe to get a glimmer of what the man could have been thinking. Just behind the table though, on their side, there was something that had caught his attention more quickly than some overly detailed plans and some notes he had seen too many times already.

There were two hands clasped together and before he even noticed it himself , Levi was staring, tracing the thumbs with his eyes. Soon, he concluded, the grip of one of those hands was all too familiar.

Levi looked up, only to confirm what he already knew.

Hange could have known he was watching but Levi liked to guess that she didn’t. After all, she didn’t meet his gaze, instead, her head shot up, her eyes shifted towards Zeke.

It felt like an unspoken rejection.

A very out-of-place feeling of rejection.

Why would she look at me? Levi looked back down at the plan, letting the mood whiplash that followed rush through him. In those few moments, nothing much had changed. The markers were just a little clearer, the black ink a stark contrast to the white paper but he only found as he continued to follow it, that he couldn't make much sense of it anymore.

“Are you okay with this plan?” Petra asked.

Levi wasn’t looking so he couldn’t be too sure who she was talking to. Her voice was careful, gentle, and her tone was very respectful. He took the risk of making eye contact.

“Boss, are you okay with it?” She repeated. “If you have any feedback…”

Out of instinct, Levi nodded. “Yes, it looks like a great plan.” He could only thank whatever god, or whatever natural forces had made his voice naturally toneless and uninterested. That was the most he could have feigned anyway in such an unexpectedly tense situation.

Petra nodded and moved on from there. And whether or not the others had been looking at him, Levi couldn't tell too much. Their eyes fell back on the table in front of them, Petra continued to prattle on about logistics and upkeep.

Soon, Levi decided, he could probably just learn along the way. All he had to do was keep watch on the moderator’s table and encode data anyway.

Right? “I’ll go to the toilet first,” Levi whispered from behind Petra.

Petra saw him off with a subtle eyebrow raise.

With that bout of freedom, Levi broke away from the small crowd and made his way out of the gym. There probably was a toilet inside the gym but he didn’t bother to search for it. The point of the toilet break was the break more than the actual toilet.

Over the long drawn orientation, Levi realized he was tired, unmotivated and maybe a little desolate. Everything had the potential to tick him off and he just needed some time to breathe.

Maybe a long walk could help. Maybe pretending Hange didn’t exist for just a few minutes would help.

His emotions were a mush and he found himself in some strange in-between state as he strolled aimlessly through the campus. He was looking for a way to get lost while at the same time, he was looking for the most efficient way to make it to some empty toilet.

After a good number of unproductive minutes and a not-too-comforting toilet break had passed, Levi conceded. He might really have to do a quick search to even find his way back in such a big campus. After opening the maps app and confirming location, Levi made one last check on one certain application to satisfy his curiosity.

Purple. His emotional alarm confirmed. He was going to have to be productive despite being very purple.

Levi pocketed his phone and made the familiar trek back to the gym.

**

The gym exploded into a cacophony of rings from that familiar alarm and very annoying echoes that never seemed to end, both sounds Levi was all too tired of hearing already.

It didn't help at all that booting up his laptop and opening the sheet had been also an excruciatingly slow.

When he organized the stack of questionnaires into a pile next to his desk, he was just a little disconcerted. Disconcerted enough that it took him some time to notice that someone had settled onto the seat next to him.

Recognition came quickly, the first question came out instinctively. “Why are you here?” They were still close enough at least that Hange seemed to have gotten his question even with the little effort he put into speaking over background noises.

The flash of surprise in her eyes, beautifully framed as Hange furrowed her brows was very telling of Levi’s tone. Was he too abrasive? Well, they had a pretty good send off yesterday. Right? He eventually concluded, he probably could have been a little nicer.

Hange was a distraction. When Hange was next to him on the moderator’s table, it felt like a carrot was being dangled in front of him. When it was him and her, in front of hundreds or other people, some of them people who could potentially ask about Hange, he couldn't even act naturally around Hange.

Levi could only entertain the possibility that it would have been easier if she wasn't present.

It didn’t help at all that Zeke was just a few feet behind Hange. Sometimes, the blonde was rattling on about possible investment plans with some very irritating enthusiasm. Sometimes, he was talking to some other school official and sometimes he was on the phone with god-knows who. And every now and then--- No, not every now and then--- In very regular intervals, Levi would notice the way Zeke would stare at the both of them for just a few seconds.

Not infrequently enough for Levi to blame his own paranoia, yet too often for Levi to have noticed some pattern.

Hange though, hadn’t been very helpful. She started to type on her laptop much louder. “I volunteered to help encode data. Petra said during the briefing that you wouldn't be able to do it alone. Weren't you listening?"

Maybe he hadn't been listening. That didn't mean he had to admit it. “Only one person needs to do it,” Levi responded.

“We’re looking at hundreds or even thousands of data points.”

“I’ve dealt with worse.”

Hange turned to him, her eyes observing. “And you seem tired.”

“Do I?” That last syllable came out as a croak. Hange’s own conjecture had left Levi thinking, then he was suddenly more aware of his own vulnerability.

When she stared at him for a while longer, her lips curling up into a soft smile, Levi had to acknowledge her ability to just see through him. He cleared his throat, swallowing that crack in his voice from a second ago.

“How are you feeling?” Hange asked. She continued to type, sometimes she shifted to clicking with the mouse, maybe preparing a spreadsheet.

The question had come out of nowhere and in the air between them, it seemed almost out of place. What could he expect though after their last encounter?

He silently stumbled upon the answer. Nothing. There was no well-backed formula to navigate such complex circumstances.

Levi didn’t answer immediately, allowing himself a few minutes to at least come up with something fair. He leaned back on the metal chair and stared up at the ceiling. He dug into his pants, searching for anything to hold onto, dryer lint, a few odds and ends to distract himself with. He was a naturally fastidious person and consequently, digging into pockets had left him empty handed. With no choice but to answer, He opened his mouth slowly, before he could even come up with something. “Purple,” he eventually whispered.

It was still loud enough for Hange to hear. She responded soon afterwards. “I’m feeling green, very green.”

Happy sad? Or sad happy? Those questions never left his mouth. Maybe he was a little terrified to know the answer. Maybe he just didn’t trust himself to function if by some chance she said something he didn’t want to hear.

Besides, this was a professional relationship. They were colleagues, business partners.

And once again, Levi reminded himself. Why should she think of him as anything more than that?

“You’re not joining testing?” Levi asked.

They had been silent for a while, long enough for Levi to get tired of staring at Zeke and Erwin who had been engaged in some other conversation on a table towards the corner of the gym, some area concealed by some makeshift stage. From the moderators table situated right beside the stage. Levi couldn’t make out conversations but he could make out some of the gestures and mannerisms

There was another man, someone Levi didn’t recognize. A School Official?

It didn’t seem necessary for him to think too much of it. After all, it had seemed like a more casual conversation. Zeke though, always seemed to be having a relaxed conversation while Erwin never looked like he was having one.

“I left my phone...” It had felt like ages before Hange replied.

He didn’t even notice he had been waiting for her reply until he turned back, and returned her gaze. Until he found himself unable to respond, possibly out of shock.

She continued. “Back in the house…” Her words came slowly. Maybe she had been too engrossed in something else in her laptop to tell.

We have test devices. The suggestion seemed almost automatic

Levi’s mouth was already halfway open when she interrupted. “I’d personally rather I didn’t test the Love Alarm today. He might insist we test it but I thought it worth a shot to at least not have my phone with me, to make it less convenient.” She shrugged then gave him a knowing look.

You know why… Those had been the silent words between them. And there could have been a silent conversation after that, or a silent moment of comprehension. Something only two people whose love alarms rang under the mercy of the most complex of circumstances could have ever understood.

In the silence that followed, Levi kept himself busy encoding some of the data that had already come in. He was grateful there were still parts of the spreadsheet that needed fixing. He managed to prolong his busy-ness and as they continued, he was committed to keeping both of them occupied.

The answered questionnaires came more quickly, in thicker stacks and Levi only got enough to seem productive, leaving Hange with a slightly bigger stack. The unsynchronized clacks of the keyboards were enough to fill the air of the room, for a good long hour.

He tried to take control in his own way, maybe find rhythm with Hange's typing.

A part of him was desperate to fill the air between them with some casual conversation but when he opened his mouth, nothing much else came out. They were doing what they were supposed to do but Levi felt like a fish out of water.

With time and the right prodding, his thoughts flew back to Hange’s words just yesterday. Maybe she had been right. They were at the mercy of circumstances.

An hour or so could have passed before Zeke sauntered back into their table with Erwin trailing behind. Zeke slammed both hands on the table in some strange greeting. "Did you have our chauffeur pick your phone up?"

Hange looked up at Zeke, her expression unreadable. "No, I didn’t.”

Zeke had the face of a wounded monkey. “So you really don’t plan on joining the testing?”

Hange shrugged. “I’m fine just helping out here. I’ve done enough testing with the app already.”

“I want to test it with you,” Zeke said.

Hange returned Zeke’s look with her own consoling one. “We could always try it together another time?” She suggested.

Zeke didn’t seem satisfied. “I’ll call someone to bring it over.” He pulled out his phone.

Hange put her hands up in defense. “No need, besides, there might be something wrong with my phone. I plan on having it checked.”

“You could use one of the test devices here?” Erwin suggested.

A very unwelcome suggestion. Levi was tempted to look at Erwin, shooting daggers with his stare. Instead he bent over, just a little hiding his face behind the laptop screen.

“No no, don’t trouble yourself, other people might need it more,” Hange said.

"We could always buy a new phone?" Zeke seemed pretty certain about his suggestion. He had pulled out his phone as he spoke.

If Levi had been drinking then, he could have spit it out. Instead he had to settle for choking on his own saliva. What?

Erwin raised both eyebrows in shock. "Mr. Jaeger, do you mean buying a new phone for testing? We have a few test devices here. You shouldn't put yourself thought the trou--"

Zeke shook his head. "Believe me it's no trouble." He started to type. "Leave the test devices for people who actually need them. Buying a phone is no problem for me.”

Hange had opened her mouth to protest. Something could have caught at her throat and she looked back down at her laptop. She started to type faster, much faster than a while ago. The quick and off rhythm clack of the keyboard mixed with Zeke’s very firm orders at whoever poor sap was on the phone.

“Any particular model you’d like?” Zeke asked.

Hange shook her head. “You know my stand on this Zeke.”

“It’s a quick test,” Zeke justified. Seeming unbothered, he turned to Levi. “What type of model does the love alarm work best in?”

Erwin had been looking at him expectantly then and Levi found himself dropping a typical model, muttering it under his breath.

It hadn’t done much anyway. Zeke acted as if he hadn't been listening to Levi in the first place. Maybe he hadn't, his focus completely on whoever he was talking to on the phone. “Just buy the best model available and get it down here stat... Money won’t be a problem.”

Still, it was a total waste of money. Levi snuck a glare at Zeke from just above his laptop and a part of him was hoping he had gotten the message.

It was just like Erwin to find a diplomatic way to make his own thoughts known. “You really didn’t have to go through the trouble. We have some working phones which Hange could have borrowed.”

Zeke put one finger up as if to silence Erwin. “I think it’s a fair price for convenience. Besides, if your phone is broken, better to replace it right?" He turned to Hange with those last words.

To Levi, it seemed almost like a challenge.

A challenge to what? There were too many things running through his brain, useless things like estimations of phone prices and a price that would have meant installments to most people, so casually dropped by someone as insufferable as Zeke Jaeger.

He didn't trust himself to speak. So he encoded the last few papers in front of him onto their electronic sheet, slowly yet very carefully, willing his eyes to run through each number multiple times.

His brain was barely moving though.

When the new stack of papers came, care of Eld, Levi was an odd mix between grateful and exasperated.

When Zeke invited Hange out for lunch, he was an odd mix between relieved and just slightly offended.

By what? Of course Zeke wouldn't invite him.

Still, maybe it hurt just a little bit to have the seat next to him empty.

***

Levi settled for a lunch of a sandwich and whatever drink he got his hands on first. Nutrition facts and long term consequences to his overall health could wait another few decades.

Just like with toilet breaks, Levi went for the farther convenience store for no specific reason. Maybe to see a little more green or to allow himself some brain space to think and walk.

And maybe to run into Hange and Zeke again. He found himself thinking back to Hange at the hotel restaurant. It had happened only last Friday but somehow, it had felt like ages ago.

He shifted his gaze, looking subtly through cafe windows, searching for a mop of brown hair or maybe the well kept golden blonde. He came up with nothing.

With time, he gave up, and turned back to the school, passing through one of the nearby entrances, quietly looking through the map on his phone for assurance that he was still on the right path back.

The uniforms were the first sign he was on the right path. The students that had strolled purposefully through the characteristic red brick roads of the school were another sign.

All he had to do was follow the signs to make it back to the gym.

And as he walked on, he noticed other signs, like people with their phones held up, as if looking for an app, maybe? He couldn't be too sure. That was until he noticed two people hunched over, screaming obscenities about love, relationships and some ridiculous app, to surmise he must be nearby.

"Why the hell did it ring?"

"Relax Connie, it's just an app."

"Just in case you forgot, you're in a relationship. Niccolo could kill me for this."

Levi looked back fast enough to catch the nonchalant shrug of the brunette.

"He won't," the brunette continued. "Besides, who cares about what an app says. I already committed to a relationship with him ----”

“I care!”

“Okay then,” She looked dumbfounded or maybe that had been her natural face. She paused for a second, looking upward, seeming deep in thought before she spoke up again. “Why are you so worked up over this?”

There was a bench nearby and for a good few seconds, Levi was eyeing it, especially while the two young students continued to chatter on about his application. The conversation got a little more interesting and it had been all the easier to decide to take a moment to settle on the bench and scroll through his own phone.

“Sasha, tell me… What did you put in the questionnaire.” Connie asked, only confirming the girl’s name for Levi.

“Isn’t that confidential?” Sasha challenged.

Technically it was confidential. Levi had to note and the two were talking in such a recklessly loud manner and even Levi a good few feet away was within earshot. Just to seem less like a peeping Tom, he put both earbuds on.

“I said I trusted you, that I’m happy with you. I think about you a lot. Maybe that’s why it rang for me.”

Levi noticed it from his peripherals, the way the girl named Sasha tensed up and froze on the spot. He found himself cheering silently for the young boy.

Connie, that’s his name right?

“Connie, we’ve been best friends for years… Of course I’d feel the same way about you.”

“So… If the alarm rang for both of us…” Connie never finished his sentence. Or maybe he did, his voice had slowly deadened into murmurs and in response.

Sasha’s jaw dropped, reminiscent of only Hange’s face just yesterday when they separated by the boarding gate.

In shock? In confusion? There were only too many reasons for that expression but Levi was feeling conservative with his guesses. They were a bunch of teenagers, what did they know about love and relationships?

Sasha’s expression softened into a kind smile. “We’ve been best friends for years...even if it is true…”

Their voices had softened to a whisper as the conversation only got more and more serious and Levi was starting not to make out most of what they were saying. He did notice though how she mentioned something about a man named Niccolo, something about a choice to date someone.

And he concluded, maybe it was for the better that he left the two alone to discuss their problems.

He silently scolded himself for even getting invested in that conversation in the first place.

***

Whatever results Connie and Sasha gave were completely anonymous and as Levi scrolled through the datasets on the sheet, he felt almost guilty for prying so deeply into some stranger's personal business. Embarrassingly, it had reached a point where he had been invested enough to guess which of the results were theirs based on the conversation a while ago.

After half an hour of fruitless searching, he let the guilt take over and he stopped himself. Instead, he turned back to the stack of papers that needed encoding.

Maybe one of the papers is there. Levi guessed then he mentally slapped himself for that bout of desperation.

“You should put a minimum age on this Love Alarm app.”

Levi looked up to see Hange had pulled back the seat and settled down next to him. “Why?” he asked. The question seemed more for posterity. Levi was starting to guess the answer himself.

“On the way back from lunch, we ran into a few students fighting.” She chuckled, her voice was light, her tone almost mischievous. “It looks like the love alarm might have started some drama.”

Levi wondered how she could even manage such a conversation when there were more pressing matters on hand. Still, he decided to engage. “I ran into two kids outside too. They were talking about their results with the love alarm.”

Hange raised one eyebrow in interest. “Oh?”

“And one of them’s in a relationship already.” Soon after those words leaked out, Levi wondered if he should have even admitted it. They seemed too painfully familiar.

“So, it just proves, even in a committed relationship, it could ring. Right?” Hange asked.

“Of course it would. The love alarm wouldn’t be able to tell if you’re in a relationship right?” Levi responded. “All the app measures is…” Love. He was careful that second time around. “Compatibility. Unable to multitask at that moment, he dropped his hand right next to the laptop. He looked to Hange, only to notice she hadn’t even started on the second stack yet.

Her eyes were on him and she was still looking very much invested in the conversation. “And I told you, I think your app is working fine.”

Levi continued. “But they’re high school students.”

“Are you saying high school students aren’t capable of love?”

Levi almost choked on his own saliva. “What? No, I never said that.” He took a deep breath. “But there are nuances when considering compatibilities right, something people wouldn’t figure out for themselves early in life.”

“Your application is able to detect those nuances even if people aren’t aware of it themselves then. Going back to those two kids you ran into, let’s assume the love alarm was correct and those two really were compatible with each other. Explain the situation Levi.”

Levi had to pick at his brain. He had to do and undo knots from inside him so maybe it had taken him a bit longer to get those words out. He stared in front of him, trying to find organization in the way Petra had guided the new set of volunteers in.

Luckily, Hange had been patient.

He didn’t spend too much time wondering how long he had made her wait, he looked up at her, and leaned his cheek further into the palm of his hand. He spoke up. “One of them is in a relationship already. Her name is Sasha. The other one—I think his name is Connie— is a childhood friend.”

“Oh, childhood friends to lovers huh?” Hange gestured playfully for him to continue speaking.

Levi had momentum in the conversation, so he willed himself to continue. “And it rang for both of them, and they were talking about it. I couldn’t tell too much from the conversation but---”

“Do you think Sasha would leave her boyfriend just because the love alarm rang?” Hange could have been a mind reader and it was just like her to go straight to the point. Her voice was a little louder. At that point, she leaned back on her chair, and stared straight ahead. Her expression was painfully unreadable.

That had shortened Levi’s tirade by minutes, maybe seconds. That unexpected query left Levi frozen for a while.

“Should a love alarm ringing be worth two people reconsidering long term relationships?” Hange pressed.

Even if he didn’t have an answer for himself. Levi bit his lip and stared straight ahead. It was an easy enough question to answer, a very logical one. All he had to do was look back at whatever snippets he got of the conversation back in the schoolyard to grasp for some right answer.

Even if it is true, we made our choices. And a high school student admitting that of all things, should have been a glaring sign that maybe Levi had been a little immature, having been bothered by the prospect of ‘love being a choice’ for so long.

No, a love alarm shouldn’t be worth it. Levi had opened his mouth, ready to answer it with a simple and most objectively correct answer.

Even if the love alarm was correct, we made our choices. He had accepted it already weeks back, a sad kind of happiness.

Acceptance. But why was a part of him still resisting? He was looking for something. He looked back at Hange who sat, unmoving, he continued to search for it, studying whatever features his eyes would land on, from her cold eyes right until her pursed lips.

Acceptance. Levi repeated to himself. That had been enough to quell the drive to search within him

“Is a loving alarm ringing, really worth it?” Hange asked again. She had more to say, it was very much apparent in her cold professional demeanor. He could have sworn he saw something else, something that made him reflect on whether that question had been rhetorical or whether Hange really expected him to answer.

Worth throwing our lives away? Levi finished the sentence for her in his head and he almost regretted it. His heart ached, he found himself almost unable to breathe. It had been a miracle he managed to continue speaking.

Acceptance. He had accepted it a long time ago already. Maybe that had been the reason he had still managed to look her in the eye then. Levi took a deep breath. “It isn’t,” he admitted.

Hange dropped her shoulders and leaned back on the chair. She closed her eyes and let out an exhale.

A natural response to the thick tension between them. Still, something inside him was desperate for an inkling of her truth and he continued to search.

Hange looked back at him. In those few seconds, she had managed to compose herself and Levi was just having a much harder time reading her.

She spoke up again. “Are you okay?”

“No I’m not,” Levi admitted.

“Is there anything else you wanna talk about?” Hange was once again cold and professional.

Brushing away disappointment, Levi shook his head. “No. Let’s go back to work.” It looked like that 'casual' conversation had taken some turn for the worse and he was just a little tired from that.

***

After an hour or so, Levi had attempted again to loosen whatever tension blanketed both of them with another light conversation topic.

The few times he tried, he was interrupted. Events were only happening one after the other and he was starting to realize how difficult it was to keep a calm and disconnected conversation. Every other few minutes, they were coming at him with new reports, new stacks of paper, new developments.

“This is the last time we’re testing on high school students,” Levi muttered. He was almost relieved their last conversation had ended on an abrupt note. Maybe that wasn’t a conversation they should have been reaching in such a hectic situation.

“I’ll tell Zeke about this,” Hange responded calmly.

A huge chunk of Levi’s attention was on the scene in front of him just a few rows back There were, two girls, a small blonde and a dark lanky brunette a few inches taller, right next to them was a burly blond man. The blond man seemed almost devastated, the brunette seemed defensive and it looked like the small blond girl was trying to pacify both of them with a rattled Oluo in tow.

“How did you even convince a bunch of high school students to volunteer to test the app?” Levi asked half heartedly. That seemed like a casual conversation starter. He kept a good amount of his focus to his side, just in case Hange spoke up, he wouldn’t miss it.

Hange put one finger to her chin. "Zeke was pretty smart about it…” He pointed out something. "Teenagers are very simple minded yet very cynical at the same time. Just put the right bribe in front of them, concert tickets, front row tickets to a game in exchange for testing some product which seemingly tests their status with love? Most teenagers took the bait. " She grinned and spoke up again, her tone a little higher. “What can a simple phone app say about something as complex as love? Besides, the love alarm is a pretty harmless app right?”

She didn't really believe that right?

I mean, technically it is. Theoretically, all it did was measure compatibility. Most people should have chalked it up to something similar to horoscopes, superstitions or fortune telling. That information was on a nice-to-know basis but not necessarily life changing.

Levi only had to look ahead again to be reminded, maybe the Love Alarm just had that effect on people. Maybe users were underestimating their own ability to be unaffected by some reading on an application. The success of the Love Alarm was enough of an answer. The proliferation of app usage in the dating sphere was another hint. And the love alarm and the emotions alarm having some reign over Levi’s moods lately should have been another huge, visceral hint.

Levi set aside that last hint as soon as he articulated it in his mind. Instead, he turned his thoughts to an exhausted Oluo who was making his way to the table.

"This is a good lesson boss. We really should put a minimum age restriction on this," Oluo said as he sat back down on the chair next to Levi, seeming completely spent.

"You're not the first one to tell me that," Levi responded.

"You see that couple there? That small girl and that brown haired girl are in a relationship already. And that big guy, he has a thing for the small girl," Oluo explained. It looked like he had tried to keep a facade of disinterest, a shoddy one.

Levi saw easily through it. "I can see that." He kept his own tone seemingly unaffected. He wondered if it showed.

Either way, Oluo seemed too invested in whatever love stories he was speculating. "And the love alarm just made things slightly… complicated."

Levi narrowed his eyes, following the trio that only a while ago had been fighting.

He focused then on the brunette and the blonde, the subtle way they held hands, the wide eyed, seemingly permanent smile on the small blonde’s face. The brunette on the other hand seemed to wear a permanent scowl on her face. That was, unless she was staring at the smaller girl. He then looked down at the two hands, held close to each other.

He shook his head when he realized he had been staring at it for a little too long. He looked back at the burly blonde man, who stepped back, seeming disappointed, almost embarrassed.

"It helps articulate emotions. That’s the point of the Love Alarm because some people don’t even know they’re feeling something until someone—or something points it out right?" He turned almost instinctively back to Hange, only to feel a slight drop in his stomach.

Hange didn’t look back at him, seeming focused on whatever was in front of her. Her concentration made it difficult to see what had caught her eye.

Oluo continued. "There are two blondes over there. I think their names were Aaron… Arnie…? Anyway they have almost similar names." He subtly pointed towards another pair.

Still, it had been easy for Levi to trace the view to the two blondes next to each other, seeming nervous as they made their way through the crowd then to the table with the questionnaires. There was an awkward air about them, but he couldn’t help but notice the subtle smile plastered on both of their faces.

It only pushed Levi to look more closely at the papers as they were submitted to Petra. Petra had conveniently piled them on top of the stack and Levi followed it all the way until the mods table.

He looked over the answers.

All Yes boxes were ticked. Did they trust each other? Yes. Did they think about each other a lot? Yes. Levi double checked the question on the remarks filled up by a facilitator.

Did the love alarm ring? The ‘Yes’ box was ticked on both papers

"It looks like the Love Alarm can tie up romantic loose ends," Hange commented.

Levi only noticed when she had spoken up that she had craned her neck to read the questionnaire next to him. It looked like she had been listening the whole time. She gestured towards the exit of the gym where the two blondes seemed to be deep in conversation. From the distance, he noticed the red tint in both of their cheeks.

Then one raised their hand slightly, the other clutched it. Then Levi conceded, there was some truth to Hange’s comment. But he was tempted to challenge it. "Maybe because they mustered the courage to confess," Levi suggested as he encoded the numbers onto the spreadsheet. “They allowed themselves to feel whatever they were actually feeling.”

"Well, circumstances were in their favor right? I'm sure there are a lot more cases where just admitting would be slightly more complicated than that, like those two kids you mentioned a while ago."

Levi turned towards Hange, keeping his face as serious as possible. "I wanna know, why would admitting it be hard?"

Hange hummed "Rejection maybe?" Her face seemed innocent, mockingly innocent.

A little ticked, Levi was uncharacteristically in the mood for a little back and forth. "You've been talking about reading and acting on circumstances so many times this past weekend, I'm sure you know it's not always about rejection."

For the first time in a while, Levi was raring to talk. From the messy facade of disconnect, Hange’s expression shifted to that of hesitance, nervousness. For a good few moments, she was frozen on her seat. And he started to realize why he had been so strangely talkative since a while ago.

He was in a strange state of mind, he desperately wanted answers to questions he couldn’t yet articulate. Was he just not satisfied? Or was Hange just deliberately not giving them?

"Do you think it's embarrassing to feel something for someone?" Levi broke the silence with one question he managed to forage from the back of his mind.

Hange answered with a quick sentence. “No, it’s not.”

"Of course it's not, but when you think about your situation and you realize you’re not supposed to be feeling a certain way... Should you be ashamed about feeling that way?" He pressed.

"We can't assume how we feel right? Before we even delve into that, we have to consider whether or not we really feel that emotion right?"

"But when we’re sure we already feel it,” Levi clarified.

"But if you allow your emotions to play a part, all you do is muddle your own ability to analyze. I think everyone should analyze the situation first with a very cal—"

"I think that's pride," Levi said firmly. "I think pride is refusing to let yourself feel it in the first place."

Hänge hummed. "Well, then assuming that circumstances are so simple that you can just feel whatever you want… that's prejudice right? You only get past initial prejudice when you learn to analyze what's beyond the situation. The more you know, the more you understand, the freer you are."

"But you're only free if you let yourself feel, then after that, you let yourself understand," Levi said. So maybe just letting go, enough to let yourself feel, maybe that's freedom?"

Hange shook her head. "Thinking while letting your emotions run free? It's not that easy. You’re just gonna end up a slave to your emotions."

“Well, would I rather be a slave to my cold calculating brain or to my emotions? We can’t control emotions. We can’t control circumstances either. So what now?” Levi said, looking pointedly at Hange. He only realized then when the hoarseness of his throat caught up to him, that somewhere along the way he had raised his voice.

Hange’s eyes were wide and when she spoke up again, her voice was notably softer. It looked like she had raised her voice as well. “I assess the situation, and then I decide what to feel, what to do.”

Levi sighed. "Hange, I have another theory,” he started. “What if freedom is acting logically and objectively despite emotions?" He only noticed it soon after, he had adopted Hange’s mannerisms with those last few sentences.

Hange seemed unsurprised. She shook her head. “You can take control of your emotions more easily than your circumstances.”

"I don’t agree with that. No one can control how they feel. So I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of how they feel? Why do people have to stop themselves from feeling?" Levi asked. "Connie, that guy I ran into, the love alarm rang... They're best friends...there's acceptance there… isn't what's important is what we do with the feelings? I understand the circumstan—"

"Do you really understand it Levi?" Hange asked. She gestured with her face towards what was in front of them. The voices, the background noise became somewhat clearer as he watched the scuffle in front of him.

Levi huffed. “I understand that the Love Alarm isn’t enough reason for anyone to switch up their relationships…”

Sasha’s words echoed in his head. We’ve been best friends for years...even if it is true…

He continued. “But if the love alarm was correct, if the love were true, real… shouldn’t the users just accept these feelings for what they are?” Levi only noticed it a second later, when his eyes had locked on Hange that he had mimicked her position, leaning back on the chair. “Is it really so wrong to just accept sometimes, that love is an emotion and sometimes we just can’t control how we feel right? Maybe there is still a lot we can learn from an unrequited love.”

Hange furrowed her eyebrows. “We?”

“‘We’ as in every single person, who ever had to deal with an unrequited love.”

Hange didn't respond to that, she made some other excuse about how they had to work on the next set of results conveniently stacked in front of them.

Another attempt at some light conversation had left Levi winded. The words on the paper then on the screen were starting to blur amongst one another. His head was starting to throb. He found himself lowering the screen of his laptop just a bit and staring straight ahead, just for a break from the soft white glare.

He snuck a glance at Hange, who seemed just a little exhausted as well, her shoulders dropped, her wrists falling more recklessly onto the table as she typed.

The more people that filed in through the entrance, the more Levi realized it was a busy day. They shouldn't have been spending too much time discussing the relationships of people they would never see again. They shouldn’t have spent too much time discussing some useless philosophy on love when there were more pressing things to deal with.

Levi couldn't help but wonder. How the hell did all of their light conversation topics end up so heavy?

Or maybe he was the only one feeling that way. It looked like Hange had recovered first from that casual conversation turned deep. She looked up in one swift movement and spoke up, breaking the ringing silence between them. "That's Eren, Zeke's brother," she subtly pointed her thumb towards the side and Levi had to crane his neck to see behind her.

It wasn't too hard to pick him up. Eren was a tall teenager and he was followed by a young girl with chin length hair and an almost demanding presence despite being a little shorter.

"And that's Mikasa, his best friend,” Hange added.

Levi followed Eren with his eyes to see that he had gone to that corner just to talk to Zeke. Whatever they were talking about, he couldn't tell much from his end.

He looked to Hange for answers.

There was a flash of excitement in her eyes and she looked very much like she was holding in some interesting story, torn between speaking and watching the developments closely.

"You wanna tell me about them?" Levi asked when the anticipation finally became unbearable.

Hange seemed particularly focused as she watched Zeke and Eren talk. Levi even guessed that she may have heard that hushed conversation between them.

"He and Mikasa have been best friends for years… You know it's funny, her last name is Ackerman too. Are you related?" She commented

Levi never had enough bougie connections to have any cousins in swanky private schools so he brushed that question away. "Okay, what about them?"

Hange tapped one hand on the space between them on the table then pointed their way as Mikasa and Eren started to tap at their phones, with Petra looking like she was explaining something on her own phone.

They were downloading the app.

A young boy, a few inches taller than Eren joined the crowd. Levi followed the taller boy's gaze as they landed on Mikasa.

He tried to make sense of the conversation. Lip reading had never been his forte though.

"I don't recognize the taller guy," Hange admitted.

It was someone else who answered the question. "That's one of Eren's friends, Jean."

Levi turned behind him to see Zeke, the latter making his way to the seat on the other side of Hange. And just like that, Hange had turned away from him and started to engage with Zeke. When Hange willed it, it looked like she had a way of just making her voice unintelligible to him. Levi considered craning his neck, just to pick up some of the conversation, yet it seemed almost intruding.

That was Zeke and Hange’s conversation not his.

So he stared at the trio in front of him. When he had nothing else to do but encode the stack of papers next to him or make some mental detour about how they should automate such an archaic process, he found it easy to remember the names of the three kids, all an even distance away from each other, their eyes all on their phones.

Eren, Mikasa and Jean. Levi leaned back and watched the events in front of him unfold.

The gym was a constant slew of echoes and alarms and he couldn’t really tell the exact alarm that could have been from any of the three of them. He had to rely on expressions.

Jean turned a bright red. Mikasa had made a seemingly apologetic look at Jean. Then at Eren?

Eren didn’t blush, but he had seemed a little uncomfortable at the turn of events, apparent in the way he had tensed up, the way he turned his head sharply towards Jean.

Mikasa walked in between both boys, holding her hands up as if to separate the two. Maybe the dark glare she had given both boys had done the trick. The tension remained but there seemed little to no threat of a scuffle anymore.

Somewhere along the way, Eld had appeared next to the three with six sheets of paper and three pens. Eren came from behind Mikasa, walking notably nearer to her than a while ago.

They were whispering. Mikasa turned behind her to Jean who was following behind, a wide eyed look on her face and soon after Eld left, Zeke appeared next to Eren. He looked like he was pacifying the young teenager while the latter had gripped at his two sheets a little too hard.

Talking to him? Advising him? Levi didn’t ponder for long. He decided he didn’t want to think about Zeke.

“Zeke filled me in.” Of all things, that had been Hange’s conversation starter.

Levi didn’t know if he should be grateful or just irritated that of all things Hange had to mention him. “Go on,” he said as if just speaking would be enough to get rid of that twinge of irritation.

“It looks like Eren doesn’t know yet that he likes Mikasa. Or that’s Zeke’s speculation. So Zeke expected it to ring.”

“Wow, your husband takes the time out of his busy schedule to actually speculate on the love life of his younger brother.” Levi attempted not to lace his tone with sarcasm. As it turned out, even a sentence like that sounding emotionless or even friendly would seem sarcastic.

If Hange did notice it, she ignored it. “With the looks on their faces, I’m guessing it did ring.”

“For both of them?”

“For both of them maybe,” Hange said.

Another stack of papers were dropped in front of them, a few greetings were exchanged care of Gunther and once again, Levi was sifting through the pile for the more crumpled papers.

There were no names but he could make an intelligent guess. The crumpled papers were Eren’s definitely.

Did the alarm ring with your partner? Yes.

Just under it were two more papers.

Did the alarm ring? Yes.

Did the alarm ring? Yes.

“That looks like Eren’s hand writing, and that one’s Mikasa,” Hange pointed out. “I knew it.”

“So this means, Mikasa’s alarm rang with both Eren and Jean,” Levi said as he ran his hands over the papers.

Did the alarm ring? Yes.

“Then maybe, Jean’s alarm rang with Mikasa?” Hange guessed, giving him an expectant look. “Jean is one of Eren’s close friends from school apparently, and according to Zeke, he has the hots for Mikasa too.”

Levi looked at Hange. Her eyebrows were raised, her mouth played into a wide grin and for just a second, Levi could have felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Well who do you think Mikasa will pick?”

“That’s her choice right?”

“Zeke told me, one reason he wanted to test the love alarm here was to get his brother in one place with all the others who were crushing on Mikasa. He wanted Eren and Mikasa to realize something. Something that only the Love Alarm can prove maybe?"

"Love? Yearning?" Levi was spouting all too familiar emotions, or more specifically, he was spitting them out, like they were laced with poison.

Hange shrugged. "The love alarm causes chaos but sometimes it can tie loose ends."

Something inside him snapped. "Then why the fuck bring it up if you're just gonna answer with something vague."

Hange didn't seem surprised at all, and the more Levi stared, the more he realized he would have been annoyed either way.

A surprised Hange meant she probably didn't care. An expectant Hange meant she was hiding something.

"Levi…" Hange started. She took her time saying his name but she didn't say much else afterwards as if she was at a loss for words.

"We've been talking since a while ago. " Levi asked. "I wanna know, what are you trying to tell me? There must be a point to all these conversations."

"There's a point to this."

"Then, What. Is. It." Levi challenged.

"I told you, I don't want to rely on this love alarm to tell me how to feel. I want to decide how to feel."

"Want?"

"I will not allow it to tell me how I feel."

"Then I guess we won't agree. Look, I don't care about changing our circumstances right now. I don't give a fuck if after all this you leave." Levi mustered up some courage to look up at Hange.

She seemed lost in thought, yet at the same time, she seemed to be staring straight into him.

Levi only saw it as opportunity to continue but he was a little more careful that time, letting his voice soften into a whisper. "The most I want out of you is just some proof that this love alarm thing wasn't a sham. You said it yourself, it's not a bug right? Why did you say that? Why did you say that and now you're suddenly pretending that nothing happened?"

Hange opened her mouth to speak and she couldn't have gone any slower. He would have liked to blame the anticipation at first, the thick heavy tension that only made it harder to move.

When a box dropped in between both of them with a thump, Levi concluded, Hange had just been slow, fucking slow.

"We have a new phone. Download the app in, let's test," Zeke ordered. Who the hell was he ordering at that moment? Levi and Hange both couldn't tell.

Yet, their responses were surprisingly coordinated. Hange went for the box, quickly unwrapping it. Levi went for his laptop, pulling credentials from the system and a download link to be sent to the new phone.

It was only halfway through, when he was sending over the link did he notice it. Reciting the log-in details, he was only silently and peacefully walking to whatever chaos awaited them at the end. Yet, somehow he couldn't stop. Hange had seemed accepting too, overly professional about the whole process of testing and possibly inadvertently exposing her strange yet very personal love alarm results.

Around the time when Hange was going through the biometrics, Levi thought it polite to resist just a little. "You sure you wanna go through with this?"

"Who said I wanted to?" Hange asked.

"You know what I mean."

"Well, what do we tell Zeke then?"

Levi couldn't think up a response to that so he kept quiet. He let his mind wander. Then he agreed it wasn't a matter of Hange wanting to do something.

It was a matter of Zeke getting what he wanted.

Levi couldn't sit still. He couldn't bring himself to even get past the first paper on his new pile. His eyes were on the screen in front of him but he had snuck glances just above him towards the crowds of people so often that he might as well have just been looking ahead.

Eventually, he dropped the pile, gave up on getting any more done. He lost all self consciousness and just looked straight ahead.

It felt like he was watching an execution. It could have been his own execution, Hange’s execution or maybe even the whole company’s in slow motion.

He couldn't answer that particular question yet. With time, maybe he could. All he had to do was get past the few minutes that seemed like years, even decades.

Zeke was taking his sweet time, murmuring sweet nothings to Hange and Hange had taken her sweet time double checking those fucking biometrics. To the point where Levi actually spent a good amount of time brainstorming how to streamline the whole registration process.

The build up had been unbearably slow. Fucking slow. Petra stood next to them, preparing two sheets of paper and Levi found himself passing the time trying to answer it in his head.

The climax came very anticlimactically.

There were less people in the gym already, especially so late in the day. So when Levi craned his neck to hear it, he could almost pick it out, that one ring on their side of the gym. He only surmised that Hange's alarm rang when he noticed the way Zeke had wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brows.

Hange's back was to the moderator's table so Levi couldn't make out her face, as desperate as he was to know.

He wasn't that desperate yet. In fact, his own reaction to the chain of events didn't come as quickly as he had wanted to. Of all things, it had been Erwin’s expectant stare, the uncharacteristic panic in his eyes that had Levi standing.

“Levi could you check up on them?” It was Erwin’s order that had Levi making his way to them.

It had been the look of panic in Petra’s face that had him speeding up. And the closer he got, the more he realized how much he had wanted to see Hange’s face.

But business came first. “It looks like there’s still something wrong with the app.” Zeke’s words had surprisingly been polite. Levi’s first instinct was to search for the venom and the sarcasm and maybe he had sensed some.

For a mainly back office employee, diplomacy had seemed like the hardest part. There were only two things Levi would have been most comfortable doing then: turn to Petra and have her do the speaking or step forward, look back and take a peak at Hange who had stood unmoving since the alarm rang.

A sense of obligation was all he needed to meet Zeke’s eyes. He had to clench his jaw, he had to narrow his eyes just to keep some grip on the situation.

And it might only get worse.

He stepped forward, a few more steps then past Hange and it was only getting harder not to look back.

Zeke’s presence was domineering. His money, his power over whatever work Levi was doing was an unignorable reality. “It looks like the Love Alarm might not be working as expected," he said calmly.

Levi had his months worth of research and testing to look back to. And one thought, one long split second later, one deep breath later, he let it out, not confidently but just professional enough to at least get his point across.

“It’s working as expected,” Levi mustered. How many ways could he say something like that without insulting a billionaire? He wondered what Erwin would have said, what Hange would have said, what crazy lingo their marketing or public relations team would have come up with. Levi though had been the one who had slaved for years over that application. He would have been the only one to know the gravity of such a statement. “The love alarm is working as expected,” he repeated, just in case the message didn’t come across.

Maybe it didn’t. Zeke narrowed his eyes. “How can you be sure? Have you done the proper testing?”

“We’ve been testing this for months. Mr. Jaeger, it’s working as expected,” Levi repeated. He willed himself to keep the tone at the least, emotionless. At that moment, when he was also resisting the urge to look back at Hange it had been almost an impossible task.

Zeke let out one exhale. Then, his voice was soft, almost deathly cold. “Would you like to test again Mr. Ackerman?”

Test? Levi let his mouth drop just half way down. “Here?”

“You've taken a liking to Hange haven't you? I heard about it, if I've not noticed it myself.

Heard from who? Asking questions, Levi knew he would be only delaying the inevitable and a part of him wanted to delay it.

“Levi go turn on your Love Alarm,” Erwin ordered.

At the least, he had an excuse to look back. He caught Hange behind him for a split second. Her face was a strange mix between utter acceptance. The more Levi looked though, the easier it had been to pick out something else. A hint of pleading, too small that it could have been his imagination.

Levi looked away.

And Erwin wasn’t allowing him a second look. “Levi, is something wrong?” It wasn’t a question of concern. Levi had know Erwin enough to guess, it was merely a nice way of telling him to hurry.

Levi pulled his phone from his pocket, navigated to the application and activated in one quick motion. If he spared any more time, he might just hesitate.

There were three separate rings that filled the dead air between the four of them. At first, Levi had attributed the profundity, the implicit ringing in his ears to just the weight of the moment. Time was moving at a snail’s pace and by the time he had come to his senses, by the time Zeke had brought out his phone turning the empty screen towards him, Levi was suddenly aware that there were only three rings that graced the whole gym.

The gym had gone silent. All eyes were on them and the ringing of the three arms only continued, supplemented by whatever echoes followed.

And it would only continue unless someone moved to turn off their love alarm. Even in complete shock, Levi surmised that much.

Erwin had been the first to have composed himself. He took one to step back, then a few more. Then he was completely out of range of the love alarm.

The three alarms continued to ring.

Zeke was next to move. His face was completely unreadable and he had bent his head down, his eyes seeming glued to the screen.

From that angle, Levi could never be too sure of Zeke’s reaction.

Zeke eventually looked up, his face cold, almost expressionless. He held his phone up, only dangling it from the ground by three fingers.

The contents though were what had Levi still struggling to move. It had been expected, but to see it in the silence, when the air around them was heavy, when they were under close watch by tens if not hundreds of people, that had only served to make his stomach drop.

Zeke deactivated the alarm, and the alarm, barren of any hearts, shifted back to the title screen.

One sound disappeared. Two were left. And when everything else was silent, Levi couldn’t help but grovel silently at how annoyingly loud the ringing actually was.

He looked back at Hange. She had stood quiet and unmoving those few moments that seemed to last an eternity. When Levi looked back though, their gazes locked almost instantly.

Hange’s eyes were wide, her mouth pursed into some lopsided line and when Levi looked closer, he could have sworn he saw that flash of pleading again.

Pleading for what?

In such a fast paced world, on a Monday of all days, there was not much time to ponder. He had felt almost guilty staring, finding some way to placate her with his eyes alone. Eventually they were escorted out. Hange and Zeke went ahead and Hange as usual, had Zeke’s strong protective arm around her.

“Levi, we’re going to have to discuss this,” Erwin said. He walked ahead, gesturing for Levi to follow behind.

As always, Levi followed, slowly and sluggishly. It took him a minute more to realize he had almost forgotten to turn off the alarm.

***

“There’s no bug,” Levi repeated again. He attempted to compose himself but there was only so much he could do when he was the only one standing in the small conference room.

Zeke had settled on the sofa and as expected, no one protested. He put one hand to his chin, in mock surprise. “I could have sworn it had been working a few months ago.”

“We had a test build.” Hange spoke up from next to him, her voice was soft. It lacked the melody it usually had. “We needed the funds to continue digging into that bug so we created a build… for extra testing.”

“And I would have gladly given the funds either way,” Zeke said. “The burning question is, did you even find the bug?”

“There’s. No. Bug.” Levi kept his tone firm and professional. He wondered if the venom had made it out of his mouth.

“You gave up pretty fast,” Zeke commented.

And that was the moment Levi realized, there were things Zeke might never understand about the testing process. It was a complete waste of time explaining the difficulty of labor to someone who treated an ordinary person’s full time job as just another vessel for investment.

“Tell me, Mr. Ackerman. If there’s no bug, can you explain to me the reason behind the strange behavior of the application?” Zeke said.

The question had come as a challenge, something Levi was in no mood to take. When Erwin was giving him a long side eyed glance, he knew he’d have to make something work.

“It tests compatibility,” Levi said. “How well people would probably make as a pair, the potential to… get together.” He found himself dancing around definitions, avoiding the word ‘love’ like a plague.

But that wasn’t love. He would rather it wasn't love. Then and there, he almost considered applying for a name change.

“Zeke, love is a choice,” Hange said. “Whatever result the application gives is never going to affect this relationship. I wouldn’t let it.”

“Can you explain then why you have so much faith in this application then?”

Hange turned to Levi and nodded. “It has potential.”

“Potential for further research. You told me that before,” Zeke’s voice was only getting louder. “But can you really trust this application, this developer, after he inadvertently confesses, after your own application rings for him. And he refuses to admit to a bug.”

“Because it’s not a bug,” Hange said. “I was testing with him, I know.”

“So are you saying you’re in love with Mr. Ackerman?”

Hange dropped her shoulders, then looked straight ahead. “In another life, maybe we could have been compatible. If things didn’t end the way it did, maybe Levi and I could have gotten together and we would have been happy. I think that’s what the love alarm meant to say. Circumstances are different though. I’m married to you. I am committed to you.”

“But, are you in love with him?” Zeke pressed.

Hange shook her head. “I don’t think the Love Alarm measures love. It measures emotions, compatibility. Zeke, this thing between is, it's something we built overtime, something we grew together?”

Zeke narrowed his eyes at Hange and Levi followed his eyes back to her to see that pleading expression once again. Hange was still pleading, that time that expression was directed towards Zeke.

“Is it, Hange? Is love something which grows over time?” Zeke pressed.

Levi noticed Hange's face had fallen, her eyes widened but the pleading in her expression only grew. Then Levi made a silent yet outrageous guess.

Hange was pleading. Pleading for answers?

Zeke turned to Erwin then to Levi, his eyes once again cold and serious. "Can you give me and Hange some space first? We need to discuss something."

Maybe Zeke had guessed something similar and as Erwin led Levi out of the room, he was starting to accept that he might never know. Levi’s legs were heavy. The glass door had difficult to pull close and when he had shut the door behind him with a click, he felt like he had been lifting weights.

Or maybe he was just finding an excuse not to leave. There was that in between, something similar to the desolation of rejection and another pathetic emotion.

Denial. There was more to their circumstances for sure. Hange’s strange expression, the wide eyes, the almost seemingly curious glimmer and the pleading that never seemed to fall away.

Out of curiosity, or even desperation, Levi ended up waiting outside for a second longer, positioning himself somewhere where he wouldn’t so easily be seen.

The door was an orderly combination of frosted glass, wooden frames and transparent glass. When Levi sat on the sofa just in front of the doorway, burying himself into some social media timeline, he still had enough headspace to crane his neck up, and just make out positions just behind the frosted class.

Behind the portion of clearer glass, Levi could see Hange was still sitting on the sofa but her posture had shifted into something strangely uncharacteristic. She rested her forehead on her palm and she was bending over, staring at something at the palm of her hand.

The familiar silver of Zeke's phone. What was she staring at?

It felt almost intrusive asking, so Levi ended his own mental reflection there. Instead, he focused on how Hange had looked back up, a look of panic, concern. She was calling out to Zeke maybe?

In a few swift movements, Zeke had come right beside her, he pressed her towards the clear glass.

And he kissed her.

Head empty, thoughts elsewhere, Levi didn't feel it immediately. But eventually it did come. It was a strong wave and for a while, Levi was bombarded.

A second later, he was drowning.

Over a small view? Something between the slits of glass? When he got his grip back on reality, he let his eyes wander over the intricate design of the door and to to the only part of Hange that was reflecting some glimmer of protest.

The fingers of her right hand were pressed on the doorway and Levi continued to watch that less painful view from the one just above it. Hange’s hand continued to twitch, then it went back up and gripped Zeke by the waist. Then suddenly her arm had snaked over Zeke's back then pulled him into one tight embrace.

One tight embrace in front of him and Levi started to think it almost laughable that he had even searched for some rebellion in that intimate moment.

Why would she rebel? She told him herself, she loved him. Yet, why was he still searching for something? Why did he hyperfixate on such a subtle movement that could have meant nothing in that grand scheme of things.

And when Levi mustered the courage to look away from the hand, back up to the view of their heads pressed against each other, he noticed Zeke was looking in his direction. When their eyes met, Zeke narrowed them and raised his chin up in some strange indignance, some vague threat. Then his curled up into a small smile, not wide enough to have ever been genuine.

And the overall expression had Levi dropping his shadows in some cruel realization. Why did he feel like he had lost something? Not just someone but some game.

Had he even been playing?

With that strange expression directed towards him , Levi deemed his very small yet personal search useless and suspended it altogether.

Something pricked at his eyes, his lips trembled and by god, did he want to call it a day. His legs were jelly, deadweight at the same time. His hands didn't feel like his. Still, he moved mechanically to nothing, one step at a time towards the door.

Suddenly aware of social graces, he shook his head and scolded himself once again for getting in the way of such an intimate moment.

He met Erwin outside and by the time Erwin had asked why he had taken so long, Levi had already found ways to compose himself. “Just had to check something on my phone.” It didn’t make much sense but at that moment, sense was the last thing on Levi’s mind.

"I'm going to have a long talk with Zeke about that contract."

"Do you need help?" Levi asked.

Erwin shook his head. "No, this is between me and Zeke. Focus on the alarm."

"I will… No, Hange and I will." Adding her name had only made the prospect of bouncing back from such an ordeal almost stomachable.

But it had worked for only just a few minutes. When Hange and Zeke had left the office, it backfired magnificently.

And all he needed was that one-sided exchange to bring him back to that point of utter desolation.

"Hange, I'll see you tomorrow?" Levi asked.

Hange didn’t respond. Notably, she had been walking faster towards the exit of the gym, only trailing behind Zeke.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Hange…" Before he knew it, he had followed her through the campus grounds. Before he even felt it, he had clutched a shaking hand.

'Levi, let me go, will you?" Hange didn’t seem at all angry. Hell, she had been smiling since even before their eyes locked. Her manner of speaking, her words, then that last expression before she turned her back on him, they all seemed to have a calming effect.

It was easier to let go of her hand, easier to watch silently as she and Zeke turned the corner towards the open parking lot.

But her final parting words burned into even the recesses of his mind. And those words stayed there, the whole train ride home, the whole trek back up to his small studio apartment.

For the first time, Levi went straight to sleep. Of course he would, it had been a long day, too many things happened and he was fucking tired.

But extreme exhaustion was never just exhaustion. Sometimes, he even forgot how much control emotions had over the physical.

Out of curiosity, he opened his alarm to make sense of that strange exhaustion. He noted the blur that came with his own bleary view.

Then the colors and contours settled. Then he noted a pale sky blue.

***

Levi had always been a stickler for cleanliness.

Hange's writings on the whiteboard was a nagging antithesis. They were a conglomerate of careless scribbles, some parts faint other parts dark. Hange never bothered to write over them, never bothered to write on the white board with the same pressure every time.

And she never even wrote in a straight line.

Wingsoffreedom123

Wingsoffreedom213

Wingsoffreedom231

Wingsoffreedom321

Wingsoffreedom312

Wingsoffreedom132

The lines only bent, fell over or climbed as she wrote them and they only acted as some sort of distraction especially when Levi was in a constant process of organizing and reorganizing both his thoughts and his actual belongings.

Yet somehow, Levi couldn't stop staring at the lines of used emails and the check marks next to them. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to erase it and write over it, despite the codes, the plans running through his mind, demanding to be let out.

Maybe he could ask her for permission, maybe scold her for not cleaning up.

At around ten that Tuesday morning, he called, only to receive a dial tone. And he listened to that dial tone for a few minutes longer, while staring at the messy white board on front of him.

Hange was an utter mess. He thought loudly to himself. Then he found himself a little more ticked to have a whiteboard with shitty scribbles on it.

The eraser was right under the board. Yet as easy as it would be to erase it, somehow he couldn’t.

He turned back to his computer, opened his workflow tracker and started a new project just for both of them. He added the resources, the codes and the latest build of that birthday present he had created just for her.

He opened a virtual drawing board on his tablet, drawing plans for new colors, plans to quantify emotions and plans to connect a phone to some desktop view dashboard.

He didn’t know what Hange would need, what Hange was envisioning or however way he could make sense of numbers or assign them into each emotion just yet.

If he just created a few formulas, suggested a few codes, Hange would give her feedback anyway. He booted his phone up and opened his chat with Hange.

11:00 AM

Hey, you’re going to the office today?

Lunch break passed without any hitches so Levi decided to stare at the whiteboard again just to annoy himself enough to want to message Hange again.

2:26 PM

Are you done with the whiteboard? I’m gonna erase what you wrote.

She didn’t reply.

He sent over those same questions, those same threats multiple times a day over the week and every time, the result had been the same.

No response.

As week turned into two weeks, then three, he realized he had never planned on erasing it in the first place. Somehow, he wanted that antithesis, that glaring reminder that it hadn’t just been his office space anymore.

Work and responsibilities had become some sort of a solace, a godsend in their own little way. With enough post release questions to answer, with enough data from the testing to make some sense of, Levi was constantly busy. With bugs constantly rearing their ugly heads, demanding to be solved, Levi had at least managed to pretend he wasn’t always thinking about her.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Kira (11)

CHAPTER 11: A Walk in Dahlia

Loki x fem!Reader (Kira)

Series: Will contain fluff, smut, bloodshed, violence, anxiety, tears and the cries of my wilted soul.

Chapter content: just know this was supposed to happen.

Warnings: You might not like where this is seemingly heading

Word count: This week has been overwhelming. My grandmother passed away this Monday. She went away peacefully. Home feels different now.

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

It's a warm kiss.

The touch of the first rays of sun entering the bedroom, that is. Your exposed neck is an open field for those golden specks of radiating waves to dance on, washing away the crispness of last night's frost.

Last night.

And with one tiny intrusion of that snakeling of thought, your mind is travelling to last night, travelling through the frames of bits and pieces- the new stranger, the dance, the conversation with Stark, the little girl, the uninvited opinions, harsh words in the dark, Loki.

Loki.

Your eyes go wide open to search for him when images of last night's anxiety-ridden figure of your boss rile up your mind. And just as you open them, you see his face right next to yours.

It takes a couple of moments and a virtual nag to the accelerated heartbeat to realise you fell asleep on the settee next to the bed last night when you'd thought of sitting next to him in case he had another attack. In your experience, there was always a good chance for such a thing to happen when you were at your most vulnerable. Last night, it was Loki in your presence, at the edge of the cliff.

His head rests in the over fluffed pillow, almost covering half of his face from where you look. The fine lines he usually carries with him on his forehead are gone. A spectrum of serenity shrouds him now, his face glowing in the secondary sunlight while his breaths are easy. His lips barely open, the softest of pink colour enticing you to keep looking at them as your mind wanders off behind the lines that should not be crossed, your conscience trying to find out what it would be like to have your lips- when they are not crusty- cross path with his.

Loki stirs to make your heart come right into your mouth. But he is still deep in slumber, leaving you free to breathe once again.

My imagination will be the death of me some day, you wonder before quietly trying to creep out of the blanket over you.

Wait.

I didn't have a blanket last night?

And with the realisation that comes to pass with this, you feel your cheeks and neck burn, giving your wild mind a free pass to run down the hall screaming at the thought of Loki taking care of you.

Relax, you try to shout into the hall, it's just a freaking blanket!

But your mind is as lush as you have given it the freedom to be. And once the freedom has been given, it is next to impossible to ever get it back.

Cursing, you get up, trying not to look at that serene face- and failing- as you make your way outside, bumping into the door frame twice.

.

It is getting harder to breathe as Loki tries to make his way through the thickness of this dark forest surrounding him. No matter how fast he runs, the sound of footsteps does not recede, forcing him to keep going till he hits a clearing.

"What are you looking at, boy," the familiar one-eyed figure barks at him, "there is nothing for you here. No one can save you now."

Something inside Loki breaks again and starts walking away when he hears his mother call out to him.

"Loki, my son," she begs but never steps towards him, standing right next to her husband.

Loki blinks at her, his eyes begging more than anything. The eerie footsteps sound again, forcing him to leave with more questions, his weary body being dragged away by a weary soul. It feels like hours before he hears voices in that maze of a forest. And just as he lands in the nearest clearing, the footsteps following him stop. There are no more sounds except for his heavy breathing and the cracking of fire torches kept by the edges of the clearing.

"He's alone," a voice comes from a figure standing near his left, a face he cannot make out, "he can't run anywhere for any kind of help."

No matter how hard Loki tries to focus on the faces that are gathered there, he cannot recognise a single one of them.

"Exploit it," announces another figure.

His feet drag him away from the edge towards the centre of the clearing where a group stands huddled together to witness something.

"It will be easy to break away the threads."

This voice, he recalls. It is the voice of the man he met yesterday.

And with surety, he looks at the face, to watch his eyes land on the features of Billy Russo looking right at him with red threads intertwined between his fingers.

"He did not work that hard on them, you see," Billy points out directly to Loki, who watches the man give one strong jerk to his hands to move apart, watching the threads break in a flash.

"It will be easy to undo the knots," Billy continues.

But Loki is no longer looking at him. His flaring green eyes are stuck on the wooden casket that lies right in the middle of the clearing- the wood adorned with carvings of every type of flower there is.

"It's not that hard," Billy is just white noise now that Loki is stepping towards the casket with measured steps, "just taking away one thread. Just like you did a few years ago?"

The top is glass, reflecting in the single ray of sunlight that has struggled to find its way till that very surface.

"A thread for a thread," Billy whispers in the blurred background when Loki stands by the casket.

"A head... for a head," the whisper changes from the voice of Billy to a more ominous presence; the voice that is the root of his nightmares.

.

There is a gasp for much-needed air as Loki's eyes open with seas of shock and horror, his limbs move him to sit up and find him in bed. In a chalet. In a resort. There is no bizarre forest, neither any unsettling groups surrounding him. Just a sweet sound of birds from outside the door that has a small painted window bringing in multiple soft hues of the risen sun. The breaths are steady now. So is the mind. Loki moves his fingers through his hair, taking them all back before pausing to look beside him at the empty unkempt settee.

Kira.

"Kira?" He calls out for her, hoping she's in the kitchenette. Or the shower. But there is no answer.

He gets up, walks to the bathroom door, knocks on it before entering. No one. The basin still has droplets of water lining up in no periodic fashion, telling him she woke up just a while ago.

She better have gone to get me breakfast.

His face washed and his mouth brushed, he looks in the mirror and feels a cold current go down his spine when the face of Billy Russo flashes in front of him in the mirror. Loki knows not much of this man. And he does not like not knowing about people. Without a second thought, he walks out into the bedroom, grabs the blue jacket lying on the drawer next to his set of keys and walks out of the chalet, shutting the door behind him.

.

"It's a Ladybug!"

The cackles of a child fill the fresh and crisp morning with warmth.

Loki has finally spotted you in the greenery of the land that goes as far as the eyes can see, sitting down on the grass with a little girl he had seen last night. What was her name again? Hiyori, he recalls. Adachi Hiyori. Daughter of Adachi Eiichiro and Adachi Megumi.

He sighs, wondering what bug bit the woman named Kira to be playing with the daughter of the most influential family in Japan like a five-year-old.

"It tickles!" you chortle, watching the child laugh at the possibility of an adult wriggling on the touch of a ladybug to her neck.

"Hiyori!" her mother calls out from the nearest building with a pleasant smile, "come let's have breakfast!"

You get up and help the little one, getting rid of the bits of grass sticking to her PJs as she helps you get rid of yours, making your giggle once again.

"Would you and your partner like to join us for breakfast?"

Loki doesn't even lie to himself when he admits he is surprised that the lady of House Adachi actually considered that question before speaking it out loud.

"Of course," he smiles back, watching you pick Hiyori to help her get over the little cemented footstep before coming to stand near Loki. It is only when she is leading the way does he realise that he did not realise the 'partner' thing sooner.

"'Morning," you greet Loki with a smile. "Ohayo Gozaimas, Megumi-san," you greet Megumi with a bow, making her eyes light up.

"Ohayo, Kira-san," Megumi reciprocates, showing her perfect-teeth smile for the first time. "Come join us for breakfast!"

"Ah! There you are!"

The smile that had been hovering on Loki's lips vanishes as he blinks and looks ahead to watch Tony sauntering towards you and your company with Pepper and Rhodey.

"Adachi!" He announces. "Tony," Megumi greets back with a smile before hugging Rhodey and Pepper.

"Look at us," Tony points both his hands at himself as he addresses everyone, "ready to run the world in our PJs! Right, Hiyori?"

"Kira found me a ladybug, uncle Tony!" Hiyori responds with a jump as she takes your hand in hers, making you feel like a chosen one for this precious child.

"Wow!" Tony acknowledges with a gasp fit to make a child feel pride in sharing their latest adventure. "Come on, then. Let's eat before we catch some more bugs. Nice jacket by the way."

You look at the blue jacket Tony is pointing at, the one Loki wears, and that smile on your face gets the company of your furrowed brows to go with them on the road to confusion. "That's my jacket," you mutter a little too loud before looking up towards Loki, who- it seemed- is having the same revelation as you.

"Whose jacket?" Tony asks, his brows reaching the heavens for an answer from Loki, while Pepper and Rhodey drag him inside.

.

"I almost didn't recognise you because of your Pikachu PJs."

There is a ringing going down your entire body when you turn around and face the man who was bold enough to ask you to dance with him in front of a crowd of elites.

"Mr Russo," you try to clear your still sleepy throat, "h-hi."

"Please, call me Billy," he pleads with his dark eyes and a tender smile.

"Yeah, I thought for a change I'd try sleeping in these than those really comfortable gowns," you blurt out, your heart running a race, heating your skin wherever it could. Billy's laugh doesn't help.

"I'm..." you point to the table where Tony's family along with the Adachis and Loki sit. He gives the table one look before making way for you.

Loki watches you coming towards the table, a hint of worry followed by relief as you sit down next to him. He clearly doesn't appreciate what follows.

"I never in my dreams could have imagined to meet the business tycoon themselves," Billy declares as he sits down the corner next to you, making Tony's chest rise a little with pride and flattery. "Miss Potts, I am a fan," Billy continues, leaving Tony high and dry, and Loki- for once- happy to have witnessed this first hand.

"Aren't you the same Billy Russo who runs a private military corporation?" Pepper doesn't even acknowledge the flattery, getting straight to the man's business, making you laugh on the inside as you eat your sandwich- something that does not go unnoticed by Loki.

"Indeed, I am," he nods, "Anvil Corp has been my dream for quite some time."

"A private band of armed men who charge the government and the rich quite the amount to do their dirty work for them. I don't think inspiration is what you feel when you look at me, Russo."

That man only smiles. "Trust me, Miss Potts. You do. I have yet to see any other human make such a mark along with a huge dent in the images of those greedy corporations who exploit the ones in need. My company works in a similar manner, if not the same. We take from the rich and provide the ones in need."

Billy goes on about his work, never winning Pepper over, though she appreciates the effort he's putting in while Tony is busy showing Hiyori how to make a smiley face with her pancakes. You, on the other hand, are playing with the dosa on your plate, making little twirly flowers around your finger from the crispy salted crepe while unconsciously trying to move your neck sideways and wincing when it aches.

"What's wrong?"

Loki's whisper makes you turn to face him. And much to your (positive) surprise, you haven't realised until now how close you two are sitting next to each other to have his scintillating eyes look right through you. It takes you more than a moment, really, to come back to your senses from that ocean harbouring a dark pit filled with countless mysteries right at the centre.

"Nothing," you finally find it in you to speak, tucking your hair behind your ear, trying to keep your trembling fingers busy. But you can sense his unsatisfied gaze from the corner of your eyes, forcing you to eat whatever's on your plate, having to eat without the hunger rather than ask him if he was feeling okay today.

"-but all was not unfruitful," you catch the last bit of Billy and Pepper's conversation. "I got to meet Kira."

If your insides could scream, the glass wall behind you would definitely be in ruins by now.The knowing stares from your hosts doesn't help you pulsating veins either.

"I'm getting some juice. Would anyone like some juice? No? Okay." Without so much as another word, you pick up your plate, dump the little bits left in the trash can and place it in the cart before taking a glass of orange juice and walking out of the club.

.

"Hey, you sure I can come over?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Sure your boss won't mind?"

"He invited you to his house. I am pretty sure he won't mind."

"Okay, cool. Leave a spare key for me, will ya?"

"Sure! See ya."

Placing your phone on the desk and grasping your thumping neck, you walk upstairs with Loki's dry cleaned suit for the night.

A light knock on the door and you twist the knob. "Sir? Your suit."

No answer.

You let the door open and hear the shower running, making it easier to walk inside without holding your breath. "I'm keeping your suit on the bed," you announce, making sure he knows you are in his room.

"Thanks," comes his reply as the bathroom door opens behind you, making you jump and turn and watch Loki enter the space in a towel wrapped around his waist. That's it. Nothing more.

You know it is rude to look at the bare surface still decorated with water while the vapours visibly rise from the hot skin. You know it is rude to try to read those old scars running across his chest. You know it is rude to stare further down just because you don't want to stare at the very visible sculpture of perfectly created God in front of you. But still, you do, before finding your scattered brain snorting in the vanilla and Japanese wild spices rising in the hot air around you.

You turn around, your neck and ears not being able to take the heat anymore.

"Before you go," Loki interrupts your hasty steps, "your assistant sent some of your mails on my address. Go through them and do whatever you want to do with them." That is all he says before taking his suit inside the bathroom, closing the door halfway and leaving the room to you.

Loki's laptop sits open on the bed. You reach for it and sit down on the soft mattress, keeping the device in your lap and facing away from the bathroom door.

It's Nina.

That woman has been mailing everything to Loki's address instead of yours. The files on Anvil Corp, Eiichiro and Megumi. Even the latest reports that are supposed to be run through you before reaching Loki. What has this woman been doing? To answer your question, you find few of the latest mails. You open the oldest of them and have to immediately find the back button and the will to rinse your memory of the nude picture of her that you just saw.

"Oh God," escapes you as you question your eyes. And that laptop.

Maybe it was someone else. Yes, it was definitely someone else.

You hesitate but open the mail above that, finding an apology for the last mail sent to your boss, addressed as 'it was meant for someone else.' You automatically give her the benefit of doubt until you see that mail addressed to Loki. Along with the rest.

Blimp!

Another mail arrives. From Nina. You open it and see another picture where she has left nothing to the imagination, forcing your hands to use too much brute force to shut the lid.

"Anything import-"

"They were not for me," you declare hastily, getting up from where you sit when you turn around to face- a fully clothed- him. Loki doesn't understand.

"They're...they're private messages," you try to make him understand without wanting to look him in the eye, "...for you."

It doesn't take much for Loki to understand when he registers in the change in colour on your face and your legs continuously shifted your weight between them.

"Delete them."

That's it. That's all he says as he closes the top buttons of his shirt in front of the mirror.

You stand there partially dumbfounded at the authoritative energy he radiates. How many times has he been sent nudes before? And you answer your own question as your mind mentally stretches its hands to point at the human magnet standing in front of you. The messages are deleted without much thought then.

"I would suggest that you have a word with her. If she's a good employee I won't see any reason why she shouldn't keep working," Loki assures, letting the silk of the black-tie slide across his collar, "of course, provided she does not make such errors in her judgment again."

The struggle is real. Loki's struggle with that tie. The soft fabric has been gliding much more than required whenever he wants to set the ends right. The smaller end has been sitting in his fingers waiting to be put to use till it starts bugging your patience.

"Here, let me," you take a step towards him, ignoring the rise in his single brow as you try to take the black fabric from his hands.

"I'm sure I can handle a tie on my own," he suggests.

"Yeah, well the event starts in ten minutes and with the amount of patience you have, it'll be a miracle if we reach in another hour."

You have no idea where this unknown flair of audacity has risen from inside you. Maybe it's the heat of embarrassment reaching your functioning brain- or whatever's left of it- or maybe it's the idea of just shutting him up for once. Maybe it's something else entirely. Loki just stands there watching your fingers gently shrugging his away and taking charge. The fabric is tugged lightly before the smaller side is made the centre of gravity and the ritual is started.

"What is it."

"What?"

"Something has been bothering you since morning, Kira."

"Whaat? No."

"..."

"..."

"Kira."

You tsk and wrap the fabric. "Alright. Fine. Yes, something's been bothering me. You. You've been bothering me since morning. No. Now you've invited this. So now you'll listen. I know you won't talk about it with me. But whatever happened yesterday isn't something you just ignore. I won't. They will be at the event today as well. If it were me, I wouldn't like to stand within twenty feet of their presence. You're not me. So I won't even suggest that."

You do not look up for a generous amount of time, fearing some verbal spat to start from those ferocious, inflicted green eyes. But when you do, you see a smile.

"Is that concern for me I hear?"

You sexy son of a bitch.

That smirk nearly kills you by the lack of oxygen in your brain. But lucky for you, you don't use that organ much.

"That's the concern for my job you hear. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll deteriorate your health. And if you do that there's a good chance you'll die sooner. And that would leave me jobless. And I can't let go of a job that I've got after too much effort."

It kills your heart- in a good way- to hear him chuckle at your words. "You won't get rid of me that easily," he states. "Oh, I know," you acknowledge with a scrunched nose, tightening the knot a little too much. "But that doesn't mean I won't fight anyone who tries to."

Loki doesn't even have to work. The mental image of you trying to punch his brother in the face delights his insides beyond measure. "I would pay to see that happen," he chortles.

"Of course, you will," you confirm, "I'll take twelve per cent more than my current pay."

The chuckles and tease lighten the air surrounding the two of you.

This? This feels nice. Warmth engulfing the otherwise slowly-turning-cold world around you.

Eyes meet to acknowledge the humour and goodwill. But as they keep gazing at each other in tender tones of a harp being struck under the sea, a new emotion tries to resurface from those very waters, stilling all the torrents around you. It's soft. It's gentle. It's curious of its reflection in eyes watching it for it wants to know more than anything if something like itself can grow in the other.

"Hey, Kira! I'm home!"

Neither of you seems to notice Loki's hands wrapped around yours till Darcy's voice breaks you both out of the enchantment of your making. Throats are cleared, stray stands are tucked behind the ears, knots are checked and necks rubbed to dissipate the heat that seems to have risen- too much- in the last five minutes.

"That's-"

"Darcy. Yes, I told her she could stay here. The resort won't let her use Dr Foster's chalet till she arrives."

Loki nods and you make your way out of the room before turning back.

"Here," you take a leaf of medicine out of your pocket, "keep it."

Loki shifts his gaze between you and the medicine.

"It's an SOS. In case...you know," you mention, your hand still out. Loki is about to say something. "Please," you beg softly but with just the right about of weight for him to know you won't back down any time soon.

The medicine goes into his jacket pocket.

"Thank you."

"Hey, Kira! Is your wicked boss ho-ooooh! Hey Loki!"

"Darcy," Loki greets the familiar face that leans on the door frame and pulls you towards her to hide her from any incoming verbal and eye-daggers, "ruthless as always, I see."

"Yeah," she tilts her head to rest on your shoulder, "kinda a trademarked thing. Tsk."

.

If anyone knows how to throw a gala, it is Tony Stark. The open lounge of the club has been redone in the theme of the future; and unlike the usual bland black and white advertisement, his designers have used every colour in one way or another to make it look more Stark-worthy. The bar seems to attract quite a crowd, sending them with vibrant drinks to the open area for the exposition magnificently done for their eyes, mind and intellectual taste. Technology, fashion, food, lifestyle- nothing has been left out of the menu by the companies this year, making you groan on the inside at the probable amount of potential homework in front of you.

"Fantastic, right?"

You mind jumps at the voice but you freeze where you stand watching the solar-powered tablets and laptops with an astonishing twenty-four hours of battery life. You want to say something to Billy- who cleans nicely like it is a habit- but your mind is just stuck at the breakfast incident.

Hey, Loki looks fine too, your inner voice argues, finer, in fact. Like it was his birthright to be this effortlessly beautiful.

If only you could eye roll at yourself.

"I'm sorry," he is already starting to talk, keeping his drink down next to yours, forcing your gut to cross it's metaphorical arms at him, "I didn't mean to put you in a tight spot in the morning. I swear."

"I-It's fine," you manage to speak without a hiss.

"I meant it in a respectful way, Kira. I truly did. It's hard to come by kind people in this dog-eats-dog world."

You nearly nod in agreement until you don't, furrowing your brows at him. "I can count all the good people I've met and I think I would fall short of fingers if I start," you debate, "I'm sure you just need to look for them."

Russo's eyes seem to be stuck on you and they only disappear when he brings forth this wide smile of his. "Wow! You are one lucky woman then."

You chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I am."

He takes a sip of his bourbon while you try to busy yourself in your glass of Mojito. His eyes are stuck on every moment your body makes- the shift of your weight from one leg to another, the swirl of your fingertips over the rim of the glass, the flurry of your eyes looking for someone in the crowd, the switching on and off of your phone screen.

"If I may be so bold," Billy addresses you, his eyes travelling from your fingers to your lips and then your eyes, "I have to say it must have taken a lot of courage to sign up as Mr Odinson's assistant."

Your fingers pause the delicate dance on the rim. "If sending my resume to Sun Corp is considered bold, then yes. Very much so."

Billy chuckles. "Right. I meant signing to play the right hand to the quite infamous man worldwide. His reputation does come with some grey and some...red."

The statement pricks you a little. "Says the man who was made to bathe in red."

The hanging jaw followed by a scoff delights you for taking the man by his metaphorical collar and showing him a mirror. "Touché," comes the reply. "You really are something else."

"I'm just an assistant who knows her worth."

"Would you like to go out for a coffee with me tomorrow? Not as Loki's assistant. As Kira."

Your eyes betray the rhythm of your heart and look at his. The soft sparkle in them along with the changed colour in Billy's cheeks is a site you never thought you would witness- for the cause being you. While your heart is trying to climb up to this new height that you never knew existed, your mind is digging into the rocky soul trying to find out where exactly did you fuck up to have someone as significant as Billy Russo ask you out.

"Mr Russo-"

"Okay, seriously though, you need to stop calling me that. It's like you're addressing my father."

You bite your lips to prevent the chuckle from coming out. "Okay...William," you mention, stressing his name.

The man raises his brows at the way you address him, wetting his lips with his tongue, looking at you- more likely at your lips- as if he would devour you whole if he could, striking something inside your gut.

"So...yes to the coffee?"

You breathe and bite your lower lip again.

"Take your time," he assures you, signalling a waiter carrying champagne glasses to come your way, "because I would love it if you came because you wanted to. I would like to spend my last day here with the best company I could possibly get in this lifetime."

Handing you a glass of the bubbling drink, he takes your hand and moves a step closer to you, his spiced up cologne flaring up your nostrils. The kiss on your hand sparks a dangerous flare inside you- for those dark eyes from whom no light escapes, do not leave yours.

A few feet apart stands Solaris- aka Nakia- watching the two of you as Billy reluctantly lets his lips part from your skin, parting away for her to see Loki's intense gaze searing through the man. The green in his eyes seventeen shades darker, the untouched drink in his hand being nursed a bit too harsh, the conversation Heimdall is trying to make with him falling on deaf ears. The daggers flying till now are stopped only when those smaragdines shift to find what lies in your eyes.

Questions- the need to answer the curiosity in those eyes glittering in the lights surrounding her.

Confusion- the reflection of the unknown on her face as she watched Billy walk away from her.

Overwhelming emotions- the conscious deep breath before the entire champagne is gulped down, leaving no room for sober logic.

Loki can see you twisting your ring in your finger, trying to wipe something off your forehead before you go still. He wants to walk up to you to make sure you're alright but Heimdall's next few words bring him out of a trance into the much more risqué reality.

.

It's more of escaping a twister to walk into a whirlpool when you are standing face to face with Thor Odinson in the gathering of thousands of business tycoons.

I never could trust my luck.

"Mr Odinson," you blandly greet the blond before stepping to walk away.

"You work with my brother," Thor makes a statement rather than a question, making you stop and face him, look directly into his eyes to just get this over with tonight.

"I do. I'm his assistant."

"Do you know who he is?" The man is nearly towering over you, being poised with his voice but his stature clearly trying to dominate you.

"Owner of Sun Corp."

"I'm not talking about that and you know it, Miss..."

You don't answer, forcing him to huff and continue.

"You must be careful about who you are working with. Loki is not a man to be trusted this easily."

"Is there anything of relevance you wanted to talk to me about, Mr Odinson?"

Thor contains his surprise quite well.

"You think you have him all figured out, woman, but you'll only be burning your hands in the fire that blazes because you gave air to the embers."

You put down your empty glass on the table beside you before taking one patient breath. "The entire world seems to have an opinion about my boss, Mr Odinson. Especially since your family disowned him because of the incident all those years ago. And yet people work with him. Yet people who work with him seem to hold him in the highest regard, ready to do whatever he says. I could define it as some sort of cult but for that, my boss needs to have a following and not friends and colleagues. Or family. Unlike your father."

Thor stands there frozen for that moment, the rage inside him mixing with the absurdity of your guts to stand up to him and talk ill of his father, while you pick up your clutch and straighten your back.

"People change Mr Odinson. They make choices that sometimes others can't fathom. Those choices are not always out of ill intentions. They're often made out of the need to survive. Or worse- to not end your life out of self-loathing. It's just a shame that only those who have gone through something familiar invest more time to understand that."

Wishing him a good night, you walked away, leaving Thor, son of Odin, heir to the Conglomerate of Asgard, wondering about your words along with the sincerity in your eyes concealing a pain of their own.

.

The walk back to the chalet is a tedious one. You choose to get out of the club and down the path less travelled- mostly because you do not want people to see the outcome of the standoff you just had. But the regret of leaving your work is gnawing the dutiful soul on the inside. I just need a breather, you try to sound convincing when you find yourself sniffling softly, I'll be back soon.

The clack of your heels is the only sound in the barely lit path going through the gardens surrounding the lake, the little streets named after flowers. It helps a little when somewhere out there in the darkness an owl hoots to give you company through the starry night.

One, two, three... you begin counting, easing your breaths, making them deeper. It helps a little. So does opening and closing your fists, letting the nails dig into your palms before letting them loose. Bit by bit the tension gathered in your shoulders eases. That is, until a foreign sound in the dark catches your senses.

Your flight response lights up, forcing you to grab on to your clutch tighter than humanly possible and increase your pace towards the chalet. But it goes in vain when you come at the crossroads of the streets not knowing whether to go down Dahlia or to turn towards Marigold.

"Girls like you shouldn't walk home alone."

The voice makes you jump where you stand, turning around to watch the face of a stranger come out and stand right in front of you under the sole lamp barely lighting the space.

You turn towards Marigold only to find him obstructing your path again. "At least let me escort you home, darling," the stranger purrs right next to your ear, making you flinch and walk back into something hard colliding with your back while the shade on that filth of a man's face turns paler than before.

You do not want to look what- or who- stands behind you. Your body really does not want to undergo the rush from the night you were attacked in the street. You are just not prepared for anything like that anymore. But the whiff of a familiar cologne brings this unspoken comfort that takes you by the shoulder to turn around and watch the pair of familiar smaragdines boring into the soul of that man.

No words are exchanged. No cry comes out for help- or surrender. The man visibly sweats before tripping on his on foot and walking away, leaving you and Loki under the lamp post- you shaking and him incredibly still.

You turn towards Loki and watch as his eyes are still following the silhouette of that man walking away as quickly as possible. "I was...I was jus-"

Cold fingers are wrapping around your palm, striking your warm skin with goosebumps till they have made sure your fingers are secured in them.

"Our chalet's this way," Loki softly declares as he starts walking down Dahlia, and you with him, right by his side.

You don't notice it till now how much you have calmed down, the rigidness in your body gone as you're letting him lead the way. Even though his hand is cold, it is making you feel all hues present in the spectrum of warmth.

Making you feel safe.

The amenity in this darkness is a long lost hug from that comforter that would guard you against the monsters of the night. And your insides are begging you to dissolve yourself in them.

And that when it hits you from all sides.

You like Loki.

That's it.

You like him. You are walking towards loving him. And if you're daring enough, you are walking towards the irrevocable feeling of doing everything in your power to protect him. If need be, even from himself. It is a bittersweet feeling- a blessed revelation and a dreadful epiphany. Something you want to look forward to but at the same time do not have the courage to face.

"The keys?"

Loki's voice breaks you out of your overwhelming trance to find yourself standing outside the chalet with your fingers still locked into his.

"Y-yes," you mutter before frantically looking for them in your clutch and opening the door.

"Oh," you are reminded of something as soon as Loki turns to walk upstairs, "Darcy is staying upstairs in the other room."

Loki looks at you with a hint of confusion. "Okay?" He continues to look at you for the declaration of that news till both of you can hear her moans along with encouraging cries of another woman from upstairs.

"Why don't you use that room?" You mention, pointing to the one downstairs that was supposed to be yours, "I'll get your stuff."

"What about you?"

"I'll...sleep on the couch. It's comf-"

"Nonsense, you're sleeping in there."

"Oh, no it's alright. You should take the be-"

"Kira, you have been popping your neck all day. Clearly, you need the bed more than m-"

"Alright fine. Both of us are sleeping on the bed! That's it!"

More than Loki, you astonish yourself at your own boldness. Loki sighing, uncomfortably shifting his weight on his legs before walking inside the room does not make the astoundment any better. You take a step before stopping- not really knowing whether to follow him in there or not- contemplating for a few seconds before leaving everything to the wind and walking in.

Loki changes in the room while you take the washroom, trying to kill time in there before you know it is okay to step out. It's a relief to see two comforters lying at the edge, allowing you to pull one up and get inside them before the embarrassment of having Loki see you in a tank top and shorts course through you.

You force yourself to focus at the soft orange light lighting up the garden outside your chalet while skipping through the painted glass screen. But that doesn't last much longer once you feel the bed dip behind you, letting your default reflexes bring the comforter closer to your chin.

Neither of you realises how the other is trying to lay as still as possible, keeping the breaths measured, ears sharp for any movement. It is torturous for both to pass even ten minutes like this in each other's presence.

"You didn't have to do that to Thor," Loki's voice breaks the unbearable silence, "defending me like that."

Silence.

"You do not know half the things I have done."

"I am sure neither does your brother."

Loki already has his mouth open to argue when your words actually hit him and stop him right there.

"And I wasn't trying to defend you," you conclude, raising more questions inside Loki.

What could you possibly have gone through to feel empathy for what the world sees me as- the adopted son who got infected by madness and tried to destroy his so-called father's empire?

“Don’t overthink it. I had my reasons. They might not be big but they’re relevant to me.”

Thoughtful silence once again.

"Good night, Kira," he whispers from the other side, that question still lingering in his head.

You, on the other side, have typed 'Tomorrow. 12 pm. The coffee shop by the lakeside.' Your chest hurts when you press send, convincing yourself it is better this way, closing your phone and looking back up at the light coming through the window.

"Good night, sir."

[the--sad--hatter]

Phantom Pain (11)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - Bucky X Reader 

WARNINGS - Bad Habits and Rough Sex, Angsty and Dark AF. 

DESCRIPTION -  Everybody in the world knew of you, but not who you really were. Some called you a vigilante, some called you a criminal and some called you a hero but all of them called you The Phantom. Only two people knew your real identity and they swore to never tell anyone but when The Avengers need to infiltrate a high-security facility, Bruce Banner deduces that you’re the only one who can pull it off. That decision puts you and Bucky Barnes on a path you can’t turn back from, even if neither of like where it’s leading.

Series Masterlist

Chapter Eleven - The Widow and The Queen 

“Uncle Thaddy, the board are worried. Isn’t there some way we can keep people from finding out that daddy’s Hydra?” You begged.

“With all due respect, you can’t keep this wrapped up just because your niece doesn’t want to lose her inheritance.” Natasha said.

You threw her a dirty look.

“Miss Romanov this does not concern you, this is a family matter.” Ross snapped.

“King inc makes weapons for the government as well, even The Avengers have used the automatic machine guns made by the company. It is my business and I don’t think we can cover this up.” Natasha retorted calmly.

“Why do people have to know? Can’t we say that daddy’s taking a sabbath or something?” You whined petulantly.

“Sabbatical, the word you’re looking for is sabbatical. And sooner or later people will wonder why Alexander King has disappeared.” Natasha informed you coldly.

“Let them wonder, it’s better than them knowing we’re related to a traitor. My Uncle is a highly respected member of parliament...”

“There’s no parliament in the US.”

“... and he can’t have people knowing about this and I’m... well I’m innocent! I don’t want people thinking I’m not! I’ll tell people Daddy is sick or he had an accident of had to get surgery, we can hire an actor to play him.” You shrieked.

Ross looked thoughtful under his wincing at your sheer volume.

“As you said Miss Romanoff, we all have ties to Alexander King and it will reflect badly on us all. It would be best for everybody if nobody were to find out about this.” Ross said.

“Do you have an idea Uncle Thaddy?” You asked hopefully.

“I do, let me take care of it. You just go back to... whatever it is you do and let me handle it.” He ordered, turning away and dismissing you.

Natasha shot you a discreet wink.

“Think he’ll take the bait?” She asked once you were back in the car.

“He’s never had an original thought, he grabs on for dear life to other people’s wise ideas and convinces himself he came up with it. He’ll take the bait.” You assured her.

“You don’t think much of your family do you Koroleva?”

“You’ve met my father and my uncle? Are you impressed?” You rebutted.

“Not with them.”

“Speaking of my father, can you do me one more favour?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There was no awkward getting to know each other stage with Natasha, it went from only having spoken once to being friends. She appreciated your penchant for manipulation and you appreciated her... everything. Mostly her access to secure government buildings and her willingness to exploit that on your behalf.

“You look awful.” You said, smirking gleefully at your father.

He smirked back across the metal table at you and twisted his hands in the cuffs attaching him to it.

“My sweet daughter, I admit, I didn’t think you would be the one to betray me.” He said conversationally, as if you were talking about something nice like the weather.

“It’s always the one’s you least expect.” You told him.

“Your whole life, I thought you were a bitter disappointment and you finally manage to impress me, by turning on me.”

“I’ve always found that impressing people I don’t respect at all is just not important to me.” You retorted calmly.

“Perhaps if you had shown me this side of you sooner, we would have been closer.” He chuckled in amusement.

“Perhaps if you weren’t evil I would have actually tried to be closer to you.”

“You don’t believe this nonsense about me being Hydra do you? You’re being manipulated by Tony Stark and The Avengers.” He insisted casually, leaning back with a smug expression.

“They are, we would like to make the new armour piercing bullets standard issue. I trust the cost will not be an issue Mr King?”

“Not at all, I can funnel enough funds from the company to cover it. Hail Hydra.”

The recording echoed through the room clearly and you resited the urge to wave at Natasha through the one sided glass as your father sat forward with a snarl.

“What did you do?” He hissed.

“Slipped a bug into your pocket, gave The Avengers all my security codes, cancelled the detonation you set.” You listed off.

“You little bitch. You thought that if you helped them you could have the company, is that it? You don’t get my shares unless I’m dead. I’ll change my will, I’ll order the board not to let you near the company ever again, you’ll lose everything!”

“You’re not going to be able to speak to the board, you’re not going to be able to speak to anybody. You’re going to spend the rest of your life in a tiny, damp, dark cell. I’d say I’ll visit but I am a King, my word means nothing.” You said, standing up.

“You haven’t won, you are in over your head. I will ruin you for this!” He called after you as you opened the door.

Natasha was waiting for you in the hallway and she grinned savagely at your father through the door.

“The King is dead, Long live the Queen.” She said and shut the door on him.

“Miss King, we need you to come with us.” Two guards said and you shot Natasha a confused look.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back when he was young, before the war he’d have called the way he was acting now ‘Doll-Dizzy’. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t get you out of his mind. Your laughter would echo in his head every few moments, or the way your hips moved when you waked would play in his mind.

He gave in to it and let himself remember the way you’d teased him when he threatened to spank you, and if Steve hadn’t called at that precise moment...

His heart hammered in his chest when he thought about the look of sheer desperation and longing on your face when you’d asked him to kiss you and they way you’d held on to him when he did. You’d tasted like heaven and your soft lips had moved in perfect synchronicity with his.

But it wasn’t real, it had been a crutch. Something you needed in the moment, you’d said so yourself. You didn’t want him, no matter how much you flirted with him. Flirting was just something you did with everyone, even the way you teased Stark was flirtatious.

He’d been warned that you were a heartbreaker and he knew this was going to end badly but he couldn’t help himself.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked loudly from the doorway of your bedroom.

“Making sure she feels at home.” Bucky didn’t look up from his task while he answered.

“You hoping she decides to stick around Barnes?” Sam teased.

Bucky looked Sam in the eye.

“Yes.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Princess, are you alright?” Tony demanded, bursting into the interrogation room.

You raised your head off your cuffed hands on the table and shot him a dirty look.

“They know I’m The Phantom. I’ve been arrested for breaking the Accords.” You snarled.

“No, you haven’t. They have no proof. I can fix this, Romanoff is working on it.” He assured you with a false sense of bravado.

“Actually, this is going exactly as I planned.” Natasha said as she opened the door and walked into the room.

As Tony turned around to look at her you phased your hands through the cuffs and reached over to snap them onto his wrists.

“Sorry Stark, you brought this on yourself.” Natasha told him as he struggled with the cuffs.

“Alright ladies, if you wanted to have me tied...”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” You warned.

“Consider this practice for what happens if anyone figures out that you broke the Accords you forced on us.” Natasha said coldly.

“I don’t really have a reason for doing this.” You said brightly, snapping a photo of Tony’s furious expression.

“Alright, very funny. You do realise I can get out of these right?” He said cockily.

“Good luck, there’s not a single piece of tech in this room so you’ll have to break out the old fashioned way. Should only take you a few hours.” Natasha informed him.

“Oh, there’s one piece of tech. The speakers.” You said evilly as Natasha pressed a button on a device she pulled from her pocket.

“Agadoo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree” Blared through the room, almost masking Tony’s enraged yelling as you and Natasha closed the door and left him alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You! You can stay. Your man West can cook and your cat has been nearly made Cap cry at least three times already today.” Sam Wilson said as soon as you walked into the common room.

“So you only want me for my connections?” You asked him, holding your hands up to your heart dramatically like he’d wounded you.

He snorted in amusement.

“Please, that ship has sailed. As in you and Barnes sailed away on that ship.” Sam said, grinning to show there was no hard feelings.

You shifted uncomfortably. Yes, Bucky had kissed you after you had asked him to, yes it had been absolutely breathtaking but...

“I don’t date. There’s nothing between me and Bucky.” You said with a tone of finality.

“You might want to go to your room and tell him that...”

You shot an alarmed look at Sam and hurried away to see what he was talking about, his laughter following you. You burst dramatically into your temporary room and did a double, nay a triple take. The first shocking thing was that the furniture had been replaced with your own from your penthouse, Bucky currently putting your books onto your bookshelves. The second shocking thing was Frank, who was perched on Bucky’s shoulder and purring.

“Uhhhh” You said intelligently.

“Where have you been all day?” Bucky asked, looking a little annoyed.

“I went to King Inc and apparently fell through a portal to an alternate dimension where I live here now and my cat isn’t a violent lil asshole.” You answered.

“You have bruised ribs, Hydra might actually be after you for real this time. You can’t just leave without telling me.” He said, dropping Frank onto your couch and walking towards you.

“Let’s get something straight half metal jacket, I can do whatever the hell I want.” You snapped.

“Yes, you can. But I can worry about you.” He snapped back.

His fingers brushed the bottom of your shirt and he paused, standing there waiting for something. You figured it was permission and nodded. He lifted your shirt up, exposing your ribs.

They were still bruised but not badly, Bruce’s painkillers and healing medications had been working wonders all day. You bit down on a smile as you realised how worried he had been about you.

“Why is all my stuff here? I’m not staying.” You said softly.

“I’ll move it back when you leave, I just thought you might be more comfortable with your own stuff here.”He explained, his fingers still brushing experimentally over your ribs.

You damn near swooned and he mistook it for you being in pain because he snatched his hand back.

“We need to talk about some things.” He said.

“Yeah, we do.” You agreed.

“How did you become The Phantom?” He asked.

“I’m sorry I made you kiss me.” You said at the exact same time.

You both paused and looked at each other awkwardly. He could have brushed over your admission, he could have apologised, he could have agreed or disagreed or done a million other things. What he decided to do was lean in until his lips were a breath away from yours.

“You didn’t make me do anything.” He whispered hoarsely.  

Your breaths were shallow as you closed your eyes and waited for him to press his lips against yours but it didn’t happen. He stepped back and you opened your eyes, a red tinge of embarrassment spreading across your skin. His eyes hungrily drank in the sight of the blush and he smirked cockily at you.

“It was just a kiss Domniţă, there’s no need to make a big deal out of it.”

But it was a big deal to him, and your reaction made him sure that you thought so as well. Which meant he could get you to ask him again. Because he wasn’t going to kiss you unless you asked. He’d flirt, he’d woo you and seduce you but he wouldn’t touch you until you begged him to.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Agadoo is the single most annoying song I know and the idea of Nat and Reader locking Tony in a room with it blasting on repeat gives me so much joy.

Side note, what are your thoughts on Clintasha? Pepperoni? There's obviously got to be other ships in the story and I want your guys input on what you like/don't like.

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