#suciide

[korsmagicalforest]

i am so happy for you if all you did today was not lapse or relapse. shit’s hard, but you aren’t weak enough for it to be impossible. 

love you.

keep at it, pal.

- korzina

[shreddedwristsandbrokenhearts]

a simple reasoned refusal to accept the world as it was handed down to them, so full of flaws

This Eugenides Quote has stuck with me for the past ten years or so, since I first read the book. 

In context, is explaining why a group of girls chose to commit suicide, and at the time i understood it. I hated my existence and the world in which it occurred. 

Re-wiring my brain, this single line of text that stuck with me is no longer weighing me down, I removed it from its context. Instead, we can choose to both embraced our flawed selves, and accept that everyone is flawed, and also to change what we can, and see our flawed existence as purposeful. To improve upon the world that we entered, and improve upon ourselves 

[kn11ves]

texas: you want some REAL mexican food?? come to TEXAS. psh, yeah, we're REAL authetntic here. uh huh . none of those.. NORTH YANKS putting their big city fancy pronouns liberal shit here.this is TEXAS...we have HISTORY...our culture and pride is STRONG! heh...we're COWBOYS , we eat BARBEQUE, we like COUNTRY MUSIC... we're bascially our own country, yeah... tejano culture and pride!!! we're mexican americans, real proud here

also texas: PUT BARBED WIRE IN THE FUCKING RIVER WE'RE NOT LETTING THOSE FUCKING WETBACKS IN OUR FUCKING LAND

[devilishdelights]

[genderqueeradrien]

HEY SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

[animalinvestigator]

my own art is bothering the shit out of me 2 am why. Ok i delete it and fix it later. Goodngiht world

[dothehokeypokey]

Im never watched 13 reasons why and after learning what happens in it i dont think i ever will bojack feels like the show that dealt with mental issues such as depression/suicide so much better at least it has a positive message anyway just hearing what happens in 13 reasons why bums me out more than bojack did 

[gaymooshroom-archive]

oh marg . what am i going to do . if ctubbo appears …. we’re goinh to disintegrate with the rest of those characters i fear ….

i am going to hang out with cwilbur in.Whereve rhe is 🙂

[nightfallsystem]

tw stupid suicidal vent in tags

[virgincels]

the line in AITA about the pornstar who looks like leon in the slant of his nose and the crinkles in the corners of his eyes… **** related i know it

🦚.

I WROTE THAT BEFORE ACTUALLY I HAD THIS SHIT WRITTEN AHES AGO AND THEN HE TURNED UP AND MADE ME SUCIIDAL!!! FUCK YOU JEAN VAL JEAN

[heroes-fading]

tw for pretty in-depth discussion of fictional suicide attempts/suicidal ideation ///

i just. think a Lot about how the idea of “well ellie should have had a choice!” often ignores the implied fact that ellie, on the day she was entering the hospital, was struggling with some degree of suciidal ideation to the point where joel opened up about his attempt and ellie’s immediate response was:

“i know why you’re telling me this”

because she’d been so nonresponsive, so far removed from her usual self in her depression, that joel was worried for her and thought the story of him recovering from his attempt, feeling that hopeless, would resonate with her.

“yeah, i reckon you do” -- that’s....yeah. 

and she goes for the “time heals all wounds” to wrap it in a bow-- the cliche of “it gets better, you just have to give it time” that we give to people struggling especially with suicidial thoughts and joel in a moment of rare vulnerability says “it wasn’t time that did it” -- him telling her that he loves her and cares about her, that that is what healed him, that that is why he’s opening himself up because he doesn’t want her to hurt like he did. that it’s not just going to be time, he’s here and he’s not going anywhere whatever healing looks like for her. and it hits her like a gut punch because it’s the last thing she’s expecting and the thing that breaks through to her.

so if you’re asking the teenager with sucidial ideation, who has spent her entire life being told by an institution that she is inherently expendable and her life is worth nothing, coupled with her mom’s friend echoing that same sentiment -- of course she would have said yes. marlene with the “what would she want?” gee i wonder how putting her in a system that sees her as expendable would affect like worldview on top of countless traumas! and joel is the one person in her life who does not see her as worth sacrificing, who would mourn her and care about her to the point where he’s unwilling to mourn her even if it means she hates him. 

when people we love and care about go through something like that, we don’t go “oh i guess it’s your choice”. it’s “i will drag you kicking and screaming to go on with me if i have to because i love you and i don’t want to do this without you, because you are worth more than how you’re feeling right now.” it’s what tommy did for joel. he dragged him out of that ditch, took him to a medic camp even though joel swears up and down it’s what he wants and never lets him do it again and he can’t go on and do this. it’s what joel does later for ellie. 

so yeah.

no i don’t think joel should’ve woken up ellie like

“r u sure?”

[vadergf]

Aynone want to suciide pact rihgt now

[doradotcom]

the test actually went pretty well like im passing it at the verrryyyy least. no longer suciidal ihave decided

[hopeymchope]

anon is misunderstanding or misinterpreting ym ask, I never at all expressed happiness over fuyuhiko's attempted suciide. In fact, it's the opposite. I was horrified at that scene and the mere idea or fact that saionji almost caused him to kill himself for real. fuyuhiko was a horrible person, but he did not deserve that. Besides, unlike hiyoko, he actually faced the consequences of his actions in a very brutal way and he chose to take a step back and realize how fucked up his murder was.

Note: This is a response to this other anon-sent ask.

Thank you kindly for responding to that other anon and clarifying your original ask.

Y'know, we've all kinda glossed over the fact that Fuyuhiko didn't actually kill Mahiru. He didn't even ask/order Peko to do so. Peko took that action on her own as part of her identity as his bodyguard (and someone who clearly loved him). And though I suppose that was because Fuyuhiko was about to do it just because he was pissed off that Mahiru dared to lecture him about revenge being wrong or whatever. Still, the fact remains that Hiyoko can't really scream at/blame the person most directly responsible.

"...but like, lethally."

Let's dig deeper into the Hiyoko/Fuyuhiko/Peko/Mahiru drama with some additional asks, shall we?

Did she have a right to be mad? Yeah, she does. Because Fuyuhiko was going to kill Mahiru for absolutely no good reason. So, sure. He was prepared to become a murderer for "revenge"... even though Fuyuhiko is apparently too stupid to realize that the Twilight Syndrome game clearly indicates he ALREADY got revenge on the person who killed his sister! That really makes his elaborate revenge plan look misguided from the jump. It's like he just wants to lash out at SOMEBODY because he saw that photo of dead Natsumi and had to learn for the first time — the second first time due to them losing their previous memories — that she'd been killed.

"'Because if so, I'll 'E' you next... wait."

Fuyuhiko was still in full acting-like-a-little-shit mode at this point in the story, so I guess him constantly lashing out and being quick to anger is pretty par for the course. But his anger at Mahiru for daring to suggest that maybe murder is bad is pretty much what got Mahiru murdered. That's plenty of reason to be pissed at him. And it's not like Peko is around for Hiyoko to blame anymore... so yeah, I get why she's pissed at Fuyuhiko.

Do I think the fact that she's an awful bully somehow strips her of the right to be upset that someone else was murdered? No, I don't think that way. I think they're separate issues. Just because Hiyoko doesn't have much moral high ground to stand on doesn't mean she can't still be upset over someone getting killed. Although I'm not necessarily defending telling someone else to kill themselves, either... that shit is pretty extreme. I would agree that she doesn't have the right to be saying that, because damn near nobody should be saying shit like that.

That's up to interpretation, but I think when he charged in to try and protect Peko, he was already willing to die to save her. And then he fails... which naturally fills him with a big dose of despair. Since sacrificing himself was already on his mind AND his body was already pretty fucked up from his failed protection effort, I suspect it wasn't too big a leap for him to go from there to "fuck it, maybe I should just die for inspiring Peko's actions, getting her and Mahiru killed, etc."

And yet? I personally think most people who commit or try to commit suicide are likely to feel a screaming desire to stop it once they truly start dying. Because we all have inherent self-preservation instincts. So I bet there legit was a horrifying realization moment that accompanied the moment he felt himself slicing into his own side.

I'd like to think that if Fuyuhiko truly died, she'd definitely have a mental break over it. I don't believe Hiyoko's actually a full-on sociopath, y'know? Actually causing a death with her words would probably (hopefully?) put her through the mental wringer and hopefully generate some kind of self-reflection. I'm sure she'd struggle and try to deny any culpability at first, getting pissed at the suggestion that it was her fault. But I don't think she'd be able to run from the guilt forever. It might not be easy for her to change, but I imagine she'd come out the other side of her breakdown acting at least somewhat better on some level.

[nightfallsystem]

auughhhh how long until i fucking die of something its bound to happen soon rihgtttt ive been slowly feelign worse and worse everyday so i hope thats a sign ill die soon

[demonstars]

Im barely holding on with the drusic i eould nawt survive actual poetry from dream. Can you imagine the devastation we would feel reading abt his journey wirh self discovery and fame and always being othered/used by his fellow ~friends? And the clearly dnf-coded pieces?

LIKE I WOULD DIE. I WOULD LITERALLY DIEE I KNOW HE HAS SOMETHING THAT WPULD MAKE ME SUCIIDAL JUST FROM READING IT AND IM READY FOR IT 💯💯