#sure wish i could live the dream and [redacted] in a [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]

[jingyismom]

some void screaming, if you don’t mind

[gmanwhore]

These tags… sure are something.

Because for all of my (this) existence I’ve told myself that no, I’m not trapped, I’m just experiencing something new, and it’s certainly felt that way! But, sometimes, when exposed to the worst of this world, to the worst of myself, I can’t help but feel like I’m meant for some wilder, brighter reality than this one. That my utter helplessness to do anything means something is wrong, so every time I encounter one of these features of the world I just… run from it. Hide away in my dreams of wilder, brighter places. I identify with Willy for a lot of reasons, but what a lot of people don’t realise about him/me is that he is pure, complete childlike wonder that is repeatedly beaten down by human greed. The only reason he is perceived as dangerous is because we apply our flawed, real world’s logic onto the domain of fantasy that he explicitly created as a shelter from those limitations, where he, and anyone he allows inside, can be as wild and infinite as they need to be. Perhaps he/I really did feel ‘trapped’. And he did everything he could to fix that. That’s why nobody could have truly gotten hurt in the factory, and why I remember the place so vividly. It was a [redacted] corner of a human world, created explicitly for the little bit of [redacted] inside every one of us.

‘Living there, you’ll be free, if you truly wish to be.’

OOOOOOO YEAHHHHH

[deus-ex-mona]

rating as many hw anime projects as i could find bc i have no life

spoilers? spoilers~~~

the nacchan movie

it was o k. it had a pretty standard and rather unremarkable storyline tbh. but that nacchan confession montage was pretty funny. though i wish we could’ve seen more of mochiaka. easy 6/10.

the shower/bath montage was very much unnecessary though.

the hina movie

as a standalone movie by itself, 4/10. confusing characters (arisa), messy and rushed plot (the middle school flashback sequence was way too long for a 1h movie), and the main couple of the movie (koyuhina) barely interacted. heck, hina spent the majority of the movie running away from yukki. rip tbh :(

as part of the series as a whole, 2/10.

reading the heart no shuchou novel should be a pre-requisite to watching the movie, as it explains why arisa was so darned weird during her interactions with yukki. and speaking of arisa, they got their portrayal of karen completely wrong (rip). granted, otome domoyo. came out after the movie, but still—

though, while we’re on the topic of ✨continuity✨, the fact that there were lxl promos in the burger joint despite lxl having not even debuted yet at that point in the timeline is just. very questionable in hindsight.

also!!! koyuhina interactions where??? gardening club trio w h e r e ??? for a movie with koyuhina focus, this movie was remarkably not about koyuhina.

seriously, just read the ima suki ni naru. prologue manga instead. it’s p much the same story, but it flows much better (like, the setoguchi siblings’ terekakushi shishunki scene takes place at the end of the manga post-rejection instead of how it has occurred right smack in the middle of the movie with no explanation). and there’s no continuity-breaking burger joint scene either s o there—

the midosena short

it was kinda cute, but it also isn’t anything you haven’t already seen in the midosena mvs. 7/10.

the harucouple anime

it’s remarkable how unremarkable it was. the best part of the anime was tokyo winter session tbh, and that was the ending theme.

miou’s character kinda sucked in the anime ngl, with her blaming herself for chiaki’s death, distancing herself from haruki, only to slap him for wanting to give up on his dream following his existential crisis that had resulted from said distancing.

also, needs more mochiaka.

anime-haruki deserves better. 3/10.

the lxl mvm

fruity, while both remaining (kinda) canon-compliant and establishing aizo as the male protagonist of gen 3. plus, sena was really cute in the romeo mv scenes, so she gets points of her own too.

bond girl yujiro (as seen in the pic above) was pretty funny though ngl. 8/10.

the lxl movie

fruity, but canon-breaking, as it completely disregards both the romeo mvm and the romeo novel. plus, the timeline clearly wouldn’t have worked out??? i mean c’mon. you’re telling me that these two complete nobodies managed to get popular enough to fill a live arena over the span of less than half a year just from a pocky collab? if you told me it took them over a year to get that far, sure, but.. they haven’t even filmed their romeo mv yet in the movie… so?? i???? lol???

also, this only further confirmed aizo as the protag (rip yujiro; boy wanted to stand onstage to be seen for himself and his talents, only to be completely outshadowed by his own partner who dances like a 🪳). the anime had dai moments though, so that alone brings the total score up to 6/10. thanks dai. ily <3

the [redacted] anime

i think i’ve made my stance on the [redacted] anime very clear in my way too many posts. in comparison to the other anime projects though? 1/10.

at least the other anime projects kept their characters (or, at least, most of their characters *cough* harucouple anime miou *cough*) relatively close to their original counterparts, instead of completely butchering each and every single one of them. like, seriously, no one was spared. not the main leads (hiyori and lxl), not the side characters (gen 2), and even tamura, uchida, and ft4 were nerfed smh.

[hopecomesbacktolife]

so I rewatched this episode recently and I am now Thinking Some Thoughts TM about The Librarians season 2 episode 9 And The Happily Ever Afters

namely, I was thinking about how I feel like there’s been discussions about the general plot, admiration for the funny bits and Fleve moments (as there should be!) a general appreciation for the overarching plot of the episode, how it’s compelling that they turn away from their “happily ever after” or, as Ariel put it, “their heart’s desire” right? and, while I’m sure we could even discuss whether these AU lives shown in the episode would really be these characters’ most secret, deepest wishes, given what we know about them—

I want to set that aside for a minute and really think about the premise. Ariel was saying that no human has ever been able to turn their back on that willingly, right? and my first thought was some abstract idea— humans being unable to turn their backs on true love, on the person they want to be with, or perhaps on the job they want most, or even something like having their own peaceful home, right?

but then I thought, okay, what would this be for me? My deepest desire, the thing that makes my heart ache with yearning— is it belonging? love? What would it actually look like to have the offer of your wildest hopes to be real, and to, for the good of the world and to save you and your friends’ (and the entire world) lives, to walk away from that?

and it’s that last bit of the question that really stopped me in my tracks because. and I don’t know if this is just because I’ve been thinking of STIV a lot recently, but. really? truly? if we’re being honest? deepest, fiercest desire? thing I would long for most in the world? fictitious alternate life that would be hardest to give up as it constitutes a happy ending? like, for me, that’s a Star Trek world, no question even about it. A hopeful optimistic future where humanity is among the stars, racism, sexism, homophobia, human xenophobia, and other forms of bigotry have been virtually eliminated, everyone’s basic needs are met and we’re no longer seeing constant and insidious human rights violations? humanity come together to create an equitable, fair, good world for all that has done away with money and everyone’s needs are met, medical care is free, incredibly accessible, and available to all, people are free to pursue their interests with no capitalistic control upon them, we’ve reached the stars and are caring for our earth, each other, and making friendships with new species?

like, ough. It’s Gillian Taylor being able to come with Kirk and crew back to the 23rd century and live there, you know? It’s that scene in Diane Duane’s TNG novel Dark Mirror where [redacted] is in awe at the prime universe’s wondrous hope and equality and loveliness! it’s The ultimate fantasy, this post-scarcity post-bigotry equitable utopia, you know?

If I was stuck in a life AU like the others in the show, I’m almost certain it would be being put into Star Trek. and I just. can you imagine, being placed into a Star Trek life, and then being asked to give that up, to save the world? how do you give up a future beyond hatred, beyond bigotry, beyond systemic inequalities and oppression and war and capitalistic medical systems and. and. how in hell could someone give that up? how is saving the world the very giving up of the better-future-dream made real, made tangible? when saving the world is somehow going back to the one that seems Worse, where we’re still dealing with all of these hates and bigotries and money-originated-violences? how is that saving the world? and, to be selfish, to give up a world free of homophobia, with instantly available medical care?

I just. god, with the self-reinforcing nature of the AU life spell I just. I don’t know if I’d be able to give it up. Would anyone be able to convince me that it’s not real? And even if, somewhere in my heart of hearts, I know that it isn’t real, that I’d been stuck into a materialized Star Trek AU that isn’t real life… could I give that up? to be completely serious, you know, envisioning that as a real life situation… could I truly look at that life, and say yes, this is exactly what I want, in this life I would never be denied medical care and have no need to work under capitalistic society and am fully accepted and cherished in my queerness and in space… and to say yes, it’s everything I’ve ever yearned for, and then to shut the door on that, and knowingly return to the world of our current day?

I don’t know, y’all. I mean. Even if I did do it, which isn’t 100% certain—but looking within myself I think I could have the strength to do it, but I’d need some time to bid farewell in my heart, it couldn’t be sudden— the very act of seeing a Star Trek future and being in it and then… to willingly leave… it would break my heart so deeply, I just. how does one recover from that? my throat hurts with the sheer emotion and sadness at the very thought; how could one knowingly, informedly leave such a place and not have your heart forever changed? I think I’d always feel a little wounded, a certain especially tender spot somewhere deep within myself. To have held that future and then let it slip from your fingers…

I think this is especially poignant and moving to me given that this comes immediately following And The Point of Salvation and we know that Ezekiel remembers everything, and even though he seems to be fine because the writers don’t let his character breathe and give him the space and respect he’s due / Julian Bashir-ify him / are racist and don’t let him express it onscreen, there’s no way that didn’t majorly fuck him up psychologically, and I feel like, as sweet as this episode is presented onscreen, it’s kind of the emotional narrative successor to the previous episode because it’s like, the other side of the forever-changed-self coin. to really, truly walk away from what you most desire?

for me, to walk away from a brief moment of living in a Star Trek world? to quote another story, I think I might be brave enough; but I don’t think I’d ever feel the same and, I think there would be so much indescribable sadness to the aftermath of this.

Even if we argue that each of their life AUs were vastly more personal than worldwide-altering hopes and dreams, still, and even given that these events were followed up by the season finale (which was very good as well!!) I think the characters would all really, really need time to sit with and process the grief of losing… whatever their heart’s-desire-lives were, whether we agree with the accuracy of the ones we saw on screen or no. I think they’d need to really mourn those brief flashes of an alternate life; and even after they went back to work and proceeded “as normal” I think these sadnesses would crop back up from time to time as a certain sound, certain name, certain object or scenery or other occurrence briefly brought their memory back to those brief flashes of another time, another life. And they’d help each other through it, of course, but. what a particular sadness that would be.

I dunno, I guess I just got to thinking about how incredibly difficult and heartbreaking it would be to be placed into a Star Trek future and then have to make the choice to give that up, and how I don’t think any of the Librarians or Eve would bounce back to normal immediately, how they’d need to give themselves time to feel all of the emotions and process the losses of the time when they inhabited their hearts’ desires because, ough, I would be such a mess.

maybe sometime I’ll write a fic about this because there’s so much unexplored emotional potential and angst/hurt/comfort territory going on here, but I had to get these thoughts out because the concept of being handed your deepest, dearest wishes and then being asked to recant to save the world is so, so much more intense, more heartbreakingly bittersweet, more layered than we really got screen time for, and is (to me at least!) so worth exploring in terms of how it would affect the characters in the weeks/months etc beyond the events of the episode. ough, just. so many feelings about this♡

[keepfight1n]

@imunities asked: ❛ why were they coming after you? ❜

it often felt as if he'd lived multiple lives before this one. there were chapters of his existence that he often wished he could redact. though it was all in the name of survival, the face of a girl with less freckles than the one asking the question was usually the one examining his choices in his dreams. speaking of it like a story as he was now almost seemed to be an exercise in perspective.

" it's pretty easy to make an enemy or two nowadays, " he begins. he's walking a dangerous line of perception that might be completely in his own control, but he still finds the words tangled on the tip of his tongue. HE HADN'T ALWAYS BEEN A MAN WORTH TRUSTING. of the few still standing that knew of the world before the outbreak, he was willing to bet that many of them hadn't kept their virtue in the fight to survive.

he just wasn't sure how much of that life he wanted ellie to know. he always seemed to give just a bit too much of himself away to easily retract.

" tess & i, we . . . well, we did business with a lot of people who shouldn't have been doin' business with anyone. " he wouldn't have guessed he would ever look back on smuggling fondly, but the mention of his partner did seem to brighten the memory. " deals weren't always honest. you win a fight with the wrong person, you've got a long line of fights headed your way. " he shrugs indifferently though the weight of those years still show in the lines of his face.

"hell, i'd probably still be in the same boat if . . . " if it hadn't been for you. joel would certainly be worse off in more than one way had it not been for her. " well, let's just say i'm glad it's behind me. "

[weergang]

Because no one asked you any, I ask ALL! all 100.

Anon.... thanks I guess.

----

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

In the room i'm currently in? the bed.

2. how tall do you wish you were?

I'm perfectly tall enough already.

3. what color is your hair?

Blond with some grey

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

Fish creep me out.

5. are you single?

Unfourtunatly yes

6. has your heart ever been broken?

.. Oh look next question

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

Lego

8. favorite coping mechanism?

Shutting everyone out and suffering alone.

9. whats your favorite love language?

Making other people happy

10. how often do you get nervous?

Rarely

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

I'd think very hard about it.

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

Always been currious about Russian.

13. where do you wish to live?

I'm good where I live. New Zealand would be cool too I guess.

14. what’s something surprising about you?

I'm nicer in person, people seem to be surprised about that.

15. when did you last shower?

Today

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

Maybe, if I do I want the traditional sailing ones. that tell the story of my accomplishments at sea

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

I don't dream.

19. whats your dream job?

I honestly like my job you know, people are always surprised when I say that. Maybe work on one of those tall ships?

20. whats your ideal date?

Forrest walk, tea, book shop.

21. what do you wish you could do better?

Talk to people

22. what country would you live in if you could?

Why does this question imply that I couldn't live somewhere else?

23. whos the best person you know?

.. I thought I knew the answer to this one.

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have? A door.

25. whats your favorite holiday?

Depends on who I'm with. I've always enjoyed the Christmas season tho.

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

Idk nothing comes to mind so quickly.

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

Never did halloweens, not a thing in my country.

28. what are you best at?

Well I'm worst at telling what i'm best at that's for sure.

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

Yes

30. do you have siblings? Yes

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

NOOO I DON"T WANT TO KNOW!

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

Don't ever lie to me. keep a secret, refuse to talk about something, all fine. but don't lie.

33. whats your favorite current class?

not in school anymore son.

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

Every working day.

36. do you daydream? what about?

Everything

37. where do you go to be alone?

Home

38. which parent do you like more?

No preference

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

Do

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

Me talking to the whole world? are you out of your mind.

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

Start a family.

43. what do you wish you never did?

Waste my early twenties to a depression.

44. do you believe in life after death?

Maybe

45. do you prefer book over movie?

Both have their own charmes. but books.

46. whats your favorite season?

Autumn

47. whats your favorite time of day

Sunrise

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

Yes

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

To many to name.

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

.. no idea man.

51. do you have your own room?

On the ship? Yes everybody has their own cabin. At home I have a whole apartment for myself :P

52. whats your favorite book?

Pick one, nuh uh. What if the others get jealous

53. who’s someone you hate?

-redacted-

54. whats your best hottake?

I never understood what a hottake is supposed to be

55. whats your favorite game?

The one you enjoy with friends

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

Last week, clibing 60 meters up the cranes.

57. are you a morning person?

yes

58. do you drink enough water?

Does the water inside all other beverages count towards this question? yes.

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

Alot

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

yes.

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

no, to many friends here

62. whats your least favorite game?

the ones where people play with other peoples feelings.

63. were you a markiplier fan?

A what?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

Uncomfortably. I've learned to say thank you.

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

genuinity

66. do you believe in marriage?

marriage is a fact, can't not believe it it mate. people get married everyday. you want to deny that??

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

see 60

69. were you a voltron stan?

a who?

70. whats your favorite ship?

Sunset Dawn

71. whats your favorite song?

Birds morning call out over the fields

72. do you like loud crowds?

nooooo

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

Yes, it was hilarious

74. how do you sleep?

In bed

75. do you bite your lips?

Occasionally

76. do you use chapstick?

no

77. do you have any pets?

no :( Can't have pets when you're never home, that's unfair to them.

78. what color are your eyes?

Green

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

Several times.

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

Thinking of more witty answers to this list that never ends.

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

no, i don't like marshmellows.

84. do you enjoy fast food?

not in particular.

85. do you like soda?

occasionally

86. what grade are you in?

I finished school half a decade ago.

87. do you wear any jewelry?

one necklace.

88. what socials do you use?

Tumblr

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

not in school

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

can't get any later then midnight. after that it's early again.

91. did you ever have bangs?

this is about hair right? don't think so.

92. what trends did you hate?

ooh quite a lot of them

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

clothes are basically all functional to me.

94. do you like dinosaurs?

sorry to break the news but they dead.

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

it's hair, grow up.

96. whats your least favorite time?

time for saying goodby

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

nah, I just give candy to the kids that come at the door to sing a song.

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

The what???? My phone is a stock off the shelf from a general brand. nothing military about it. I'm not in the military so I shouldn't have a military phone.

99. have you ever been to church?

yes

[ness-plays-wizards]

Lucious Route Chapter 4 (1-5)

Last time on the Lucious Route, Liz had another dream about hanging out with Lucious and I’m starting to have a sneaking suspicion that only is Lucious also having these dreams, he’s also aware that they’re kind of half-canon while Liz isn’t, which is just greaaaat /s. Also Hugo’s here and Liz and Lucious are about to jump him for information, which is either going to work or crash and burn.

So Liz and Lucious watch Hugo approach the portrait of Claudia, the former princess of the day kingdom and Lucious’s ex, and

I’m sorry, but is anyone else really distracted by how anachronistic Lucious’s outfit is? I wish I had a better word than anachronistic because I truly do not have a time period that I need all the outfits to be in, but it just feels so aesthetically off.

Like what is this?? Why’s he wearing a zip-up hoodie AND an oversized tracksuit jacket? Are those track pants??? What the hell is that flannel doing? It would honestly be fine without the tracksuit! Are you a magical time-displaced prince or the unhinged tertiary side character of a Disney channel show that starts out as a recurring character and eventually gets bumped up to main cast? I think I just made Lucious sound more interesting than he actually is..

Anyway, Lucious starts getting all uppity about Hugo potentially defacing Claudia’s portrait, but Liz warns him to be patient and promises they will intervene if he tries to damage the portrait. For some reason, none of this commotion attracts Hugo’s attention, although it would really be funny if he went “i know you’re here by the way yall aint SUBTLE” halfway through this scene without even looking up.

Hugo’s song (because apparently this was a song and not a really weird monologue) ends at the moment I think it will NEVER end, and it’s revealed that it unlocks a secret door. Which has GOT to be the most inconvenient key out there. Imagine if you had to password protect something with a perfect live performance of Bohemian Rhapsody. I would simply chew cement.

(all of this was just from part 1 of 5 btw guys)

Liz and Lucious follow Hugo into a luscious forest, because if there’s one thing these past few routes have loved, it’s sticking magical biomes in the weirdest places of the Labyrinth. Liz keeps tripping over tree roots, I guess to show how Quirky and Relatable(tm) she is and also to have a Gratuitous Love Interest Catches Her When She’s Falling Moment.

One where Lucious is leaning VERY close btw, like how does that HAPPEN-

They enter a creepy cave and I just have to pause real quick and admire the background.

Like DAMN that is a good background /gen. 

They come across Hugo monologuing to himself, because I guess they couldn’t just give him a friend to create a dynamic duo so that he doesn’t just look like some weird guy monologuing to himself? Anyway, the defeat of the Minotaur (whenever the hell THAT happened, I don’t even fucking remember which route that was-) is causing the Labyrinth’s magic to get funky because for some reason, the magic was tied to the minotaur? Seriously? All because someone fucked-[REDACTED]

Anyway, Hugo wonders if he should let Lucious leave the Labyrinth now that Caesar’s curse has been broken (WITH STILL NO EXPLANATION AS TO HOW THAT HAPPENED IN THIS ROUTE BY THE WAY), which I have to quibble with for a moment.

The way Hugo’s phrasing it, he’s tying the breaking of Caesar’s curse to a Lucious’s potential freedom, implying that there’s some cosmic significance (for lack of a better word) to the way Caesar’s curse was broken. Like if its important enough for a time guardian to compare the two, it implies that the Baroque curse was broken for all the Baroques, even though that’s not what happened. It just broke for Caesar. Future Baroque generations WILL still carry the curse, if I’m not mistaken. So that begs the question: why is Caesar important to this? He’s not even the first Baroque to break his own curse. This is a question that I’m sure could have interesting answers, but unfortunately I think the most likely one is “because he’s an otome boy” and the writers said so.

Or I could just be reading too deeply into things, who knows.

Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled... this.

So Hugo ponders which timeline he should allow to exist and reveals he knows Liz and Lucious are there with a line that is significantly less funny than my earlier joke. Liz is somehow surprised that Hugo noticed them, even though they’ve been the most unstealthy fuckers I’ve ever seen. THEN the fucking Taffy/Remy hybrid shows up.

So then Hugo reveals that the Taffy hybrid is using Dragonkin magic, which isn’t a surprise to me because I’ve already sussed out that its Remy in disguise. (Wouldn’t it be super funny if I’m wrong and it’s not Remy tho? Lmfao). He also namedrops “Felix” and “Lacan” who are probably more Dragonkin and one of them is probably the weird blonde dude in Liz’s dreams. Taffy-Remy KNOWS Felix and Lacan and wonders why Hugo knows them. 

So just to summarize the next few series of events here, Hugo starts trapping Taffy-Remy in here while monologuing that he won’t let him resurrect the dragonkin because they’ll end the world or something. Liz decides to save Taffy-Remy, because she hasn’t yet figured out that it’s fucking Remy, and the chapter ends.

I wonder what Alfonse and Caesar are doing back in the palace rn.. I’ve just imagined Lucious, Alfonse, and Caesar sleeping on a single mattress on the floor Scott Pilgrim style. They all took a bath together last chapter, y’all can’t tell me it’s not at least in the realm of possibility.

Queued for October 18

[gabbylovetime]

so I decided to make another AU called "Horror Dream AU" the main character is Celeste a possessed creature that was possessed by a young teen named "Kiara" this AU will be released in after July

Celeste

Real name: none

Age: 12-13 (forever)

Species: Possessed creature (doll)

Personality: peaceful calm quiet

Created: 2000s

Caused of death: was burned by Matthew after he created him and after he betrayed her

Gender: gender fluid

Sexuality: single (not attracted to anybody)

Pronouns: he/they/she/it

Voice claim: Circus Baby (SL:FNAF)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

- eating discords

- father issues

- mother issues

- nightmares

- 13+ 19+

- sexualizing

- disrespecting

- emotional abuse

- family issues

- possessed dolls

- talking back

- bloody themes

- creepy drawing images

- throwing up

- abuse

- 14+ 16+ 18+ 15+

- flashbacks

- creepy masks

- scamming

- car accidents

- deaths

- dying wish

- death wish

- glitching

- angst

- fake friends

- ex - friends

- depression

- mild depression

- dark themes

- dark humor

- deaths

- 19+ 20+

- crying

- tears

- dark Childhood

- Humiliation

- embarrassment

- Drugs

- Drinking

- Car Crashing

- menaces

- Spoilers

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Description

"horror dream AU is about a 15-16 year old teenager named Kiara who is always talking back to their parents because they never want them to make their own decisions when they were 18-19 or 19-20 Kiara never listened to them they usually talk back to them and gets disciplined of that in 2004 Kiara was found dead by a doll creater named Matthew a 73-74 year old man who created and makes dolls Matthew created Celeste in the 2000s and then Kiara now possesses Celeste and now things have to go back to normal"

--------------------------------------------

Characters

Kiara Stephanie Williams

Kiara is a nonbinary teen who lives in • Vill Pill • Kiara is a somber attentional and is pretty unpopular they used to be kind and sweet as a kid but ended dealing with drugs and beer when they were 13-14 Kiara is quietly rude and hot - headed but acts gentle and pretty petty and kinda picky

Tiffany Gabby Williams

Tiffany is the mother of Kiara she is a transfeminine and straight woman who was never accepted by her parents when she 18-19 Tiffany could have probably moved on but still feel the same about something Tiffany never care about Arthur and wants to protect Kiara but after the death of Kiara she decided to be a abusive woman and became a disgusting cheater

Arthur Sammy Williams

Arthur is a caring father but after the death of Kiara Arthur was devastated that Tiffany kept cheating on him Arthur hates Tiffany and now wants her to be gone for good and only wants to be with his daughter at heaven Arthur never cares about Tiffany but cares about Kiara for sure

Matthew Timmy Turner's

Matthew is a 73-74 year old man who creates dolls in the 90s Matthew doesn't like children when he was a child he wants to be doll creater since he's a adult he hates kids/minors/children Matthew always wants to have attention in the teenage years he used to date a teenage girl but he always treated him like crap and kept sexualizing her and he never understand her

Celeste (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

Celeste possessed the teenage girl Kiara in the 2000s Celeste was the 1st doll that was created by Matthew Celeste was never evil they was a peaceful and gentle doll but seem to always have 2 sides of it Celeste doesn't have a middle name or last name but their middle and last name is "Sydney" "Jones"

Sydney is his middle name and Jones is her last name Celeste never understand about humanity due to their species but now understanding it it never shown themselves to anybody in the VHS tapes Celeste went to a small house alone seeing their fake friends (except Thomas) all dead he sit all the couch looking at the screen all emotionless showing no emotion but then got up saw a piece of dry cake on the ground she pick it up opening it up and started crying remembering all the normal memories it have Celeste and the other dolls and experiments now Celeste stuffer the most and now staring to have C - PTSD

Rosa (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

Rosa is the 2nd doll who was created by Matthew Turners she was the most loved doll back in 2003 while Celeste was created in the 2000s Rosa possessed a little girl named Laura a 5-6 year old little girl who was missing in day 6 Rosa was the sweetest dolls of them all however Rosa was unfortunately navie and completed Rosa thinks Celeste was the one who killed the others but it wasn't Rosa hates Celeste in the presence Rosa never liked Celeste in the past to begin with Rosa betrayed Celeste and acts vengeful to her because she thinks Celeste was the real villain while the real villain was Matthew

Coffee (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

coffee is the 3rd doll that wasn't created by Matthew she (gender: bisexual she/her/he/him) was created by Matthews EX - wife Sofia coffee is the oldest of the "Charming Dolls" coffee was possessed by a young college student named Timmy a 21-22 year old college student who graduated college from the early - 2000s after Matthew created Celeste coffee never hated Celeste coffee doesn't like him at the end coffee used to be a kind generous and child - like doll but now become a insecure horrid and mature doll who acts grown even tho he is the oldest coffee suffer from PTSD while Celeste suffer from C - PTSD

Moon (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

Moon is 4th doll that was created by Matthew moon is agender that means no gender moon is the youngest of The "Charming Dolls" moon isn't possessed by someone moon is control by a puppet moon is barely unstable and easily manipulated someone moon is a sweetheart but has the ability to make people feel bad for moon moon was the only one who became a psycho after thinking Matthew was the one who took The Charming Dolls except moon moon goes crazy and start to become innocent when others doesn't mind that the fact moon became a crazy doll

Thomas (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

Thomas is the 5th doll to be created by Matthew Thomas was the only one who closely trust Celeste Thomas is Celeste close friend he suddenly treats Celeste like a younger sister Thomas is possessed by a toddler named Kyle Thomas nearly shown respect to Celeste and the others unlike the others Thomas sacrifice himself and wants to move on instead but Thomas is always there for Celeste Thomas was completely alone forever and begin to be sad after everybody left him Matthew betrayed Celeste Thomas knows Matthew was the real traitor and after all these things Thomas is gotta get revenge on Matthew

Chip (REDACTED) (REDACTED)

chip is the last doll to be created by Matthew chip was the most youngest of the Charming Dolls chip was possessed by a young baby named sal a young baby who died in a car crash by his drunk mother chip was a happy and positive doll baby chip was not killed but was hurt the most he was left by moon and ended getting abused by Matthew chip never ever want to be with Matthew chip was everyone most least hated because how annoying he is chip started became emotional and started crying every day chip had to take care of himself of protect from danger but now since Celeste found him perfectly he have to protect chip no matter what it takes

If your sensitive to this kind of stuff then don't like it you been warned ok?

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"I'm so sorry"

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Release date: August 1st 2023

[merakiui]

I just had a thought... but imagine that, maybe after so much effort on your part, you manage to crumble Sebek's walls and made him fall in love with you, just as much as he unknowingly swept you off your feet with his brash but funny way how he conducts himself.

Sebek always speaks about the others with a little of belittling in his tone, whenever he spits the word "human"... unless it is directed at you, of course. But after so many years of living under that mentality, he can't help but feel a little ashamed of himself; after how he acted against any mortal in the name of his waka, now he finds himself under the spell of some from the same species he speaks of so patronizingly. He tries really hard to keep his strong and stern self even while alone with you, to at least salvage a little of his pride, but how can he, when you act so cute and lovable? Sebek will first be caught being gentle towards other humans before admithing loving how small your hands are compared to his, when he catches them after a couple of your attempts at snatching his cap from his head. You will always giggle and bat your pretty eyes, asking if he can lend it to you and, like the fool in love that he is, Sebek will relent at the very first try.

It should worry him how easy he can forget about time, his duties and dream of serving his lord. He will never forget the first (and hopefully) last time he handed a poorly-done homework for Professor Trein, badly redacted and filled with lots of grammatical errors so notorious that Trein actually required him, publicly, about the reason for such mediocre work the next time they had history. Sebek will never live down the murmurs of all his classmates trying and failing in being subtle about their gossiping, since the shame made him more aware of his surroundings. A blush coated his cheeks due to a brief flash of a couple of nights ago in his bedroom, where he was supposed to be seated with his books and paper on his desk, focused on getting homework perfectly done as that is his job as a student. But instead, he had you laying on top of it, hands pinned either side of your head, lips red and swollen with a glinting in your eyes so charged with feelings, enough to almost make him weak on the knees with yearning and love.

At least he was conscious enough in remaining quite, because he wouldn't have been able to make a lie right then and there, only deepening the situation for himself if he actually did.

Funny how you are the one without magic, yet every moment spent with you feels as such.

And that's why, Sebek was so adamant in you meeting his waka and master Lilia. He knows his feelings for you are beginning to turn into something more serious, he wants to make sure everyone gets along before thinking further about your relationship and how he could add you to the equation of his dream of becoming a knight (not that is that hard tho).

Master Lilia was quite easy. The two of you already knew about the other, so you hitted it off with bonding over Lilia's mischievous nature and retellings of all of the pranks and jokes he pulled on poor, gullible Sebek. He wished the interaction had gone without the need of that, but at least he basked on the sweet harmony that is your laugh.

Now, for Malleus...

Sebek admits he was a little bit apprehensive about this one. He is aware of how people react when in the presence of Malleus, but He is confident in your ability of making friends is fine enough to capture his waka's attention, altough deep in his heart, he knew the two of you will get along as well as how it went with Lilia.

He remembers to perfection the firsts moments of the, in his perspective, encounter number one. When the minutes passed and none of you said anything, the pit in his stomach grew with dread. But after what felt like an eternity, the faint smile you wore suddenly turned into a full toothy one, a hand raise and pointed straight towards his waka. This definitely caught Sebek off guard, as the blatant rude gesture rubbed him the wrong way even worse since it came from you. Clearly, your presence brought a new side of him, throwing him out of his loop of waking up and working hard to achieve his purpose in life. Is not that it was strong enough to dull his fast reactions, far from it, but he certainly grew comfortable in your presence, as he wasn't quick enough to swept you in his arm and bolt out of the common lounge once he caught the naughty glint in your eyes when they briefly broke contact with Malleus' to look at him.

You opened your mouth and he knew, that from that moment, he was going to regret whatever you were about to spill past your lips.

"I remember you! You never heard the nickname I made for you...--

'REMEMBER...? ...NICKNAME!? '

"--it was actually Grim, but details. Now, as agreed, I hereby proclaim you: Horntorn! Nice to officially meet You, Horny!"

...

...

...

Yeah, Sebek doesn't remember anything after that. His mind simply shut down and left the lounge in autopilot, completely missing the small amused smile on his waka's face.

Putting that aside, everything unfolded just as how he expected. The person he loves is in good terms with the ones he respect and trusted his life with life, this actually worried him more than he used to let on, as his schoolwork also improved... that is, if there's a wall or a chaperone between the two of you, he will guarantee a perfect score.

So high and happy at his current idilliac reality, that his eyes fell prey to the pretty and enthralling pink and gold of which dreams are usually made of.

It was weird for Malleus to act like he does around you, but Lilia is just over the moon seeing him getting along and accepted by someone that isn't from Diasomnia, so no one spared a second thought to their housewarden always claiming the only spot available next you, always seeing themselves scarce when engaging you in a conversation and Malleus' aura gets too much to handle. It reached to the point of people actually thinking that Malleus was your boyfriend instead of your sweet but so dumb aspiring knight. Sebek failed to see all of the increasing worried looks you sent him, the small hands he loves so much reaching out to him, just to be engulfed by his waka's hands to drag you somewhere else in the dorm, more private and just the two of us.

He missed to view these actions as what they are: another man trying to get his darling. Sebek even was quick to surrender the tickets to a movie you insisted a lot to go with him, wanting to have an actual date with your real boyfriend that is not interrupted by the dark fae. He even waved the two of you off with a smile on his face, too happy by how well all of this actually turned out to be.

You could only wish for a miracle, that Sebek would finally notice everything before it was too late.

But you also are in fault with such naive thinking...

There is no hope, or happy endings in a land living by the legacy created from greedy and malicious minds. Have you forgotten, the name of the land you awoke to many months ago?

Of course the reality of all came to Sebek one night, like a lighting rod stricken by lightning in a storm. Each struck of energy in the form of your screams and sobbed pleads of stop, it hurts.

He was supposed to meet with you in his bedroom after his study session at the library, finally taking into account of how little time the two of you have spend lately.

A dull, rhythmic thump thump could be heard from behind The door to his waka's personal chambers. For some reason, said noise brought back the interaction he not too long ago had with Lilia, asking if you have already arrived. The usual smile on Lilia's face dropped slightly and his eyes had an shine that Sebek couldn't decipher before Lilia turned around and answers 'Yes. Malleus is entertaining them as we speak.'

The clouds cracked once again as they charged another bolt, flying out without warning and landing with an earth shaking force on him.

"I want Sebek!"

For a second, the thumping stops, but is follow by the rustling of sheets and a soft gasp from you. Sebek awoke from any type of daydream he fell into the moment his brain realised what is his dear Waka doing to his love.

There was another sound, fainter, like you were struggling but the grasp was so strong you barely had space to move. Your cry of pain tore his heart apart, his left hand shakely raise to float above his open mouth, unable to complete the action as your sobbing raised in volume freezes him.

"Don't cry. There's no reason for that"

'Wakasama...'

"Even if he knew, he would do nothing"

...The worst part of all? Is that Malleus is actually right.

Tl;dr: Malleus cucks Sebek.

Holy shit, sorry if it gets trash in certain parts, I was falling asleep and lost the thread a couple of times *cries*

Omg omg!! This ask is so perfect and *chef’s kiss* that I don’t think I could add anything else, lest I spoil how delicious of a thought this is!!!! >_<

Sebek really would let it all happen, wouldn’t he? 😟

[insaneoldme]

Can you rec buddie fics? Pretty please?

OMG it's my time to shine, bitches!!!

Sorry if I went a little nuts, but this fandom has some of the best writers I've ever seen. I have 186 Buddie fics bookmarked in my AO3,

I'll link here if you are interested in taking a look cause if I put them all here it would be too long. Also, I tried to show here some fics I very rarely see recced, and a little bit o the classics. This fandom has some very underrated authors, everyone in my bookmarks is worth taking a look really.

Please take a look at the warnings before reading, enjoy!!!

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies (Rated E )

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

My Heart's Been Borrowed by ElvenSorceress (Rated E)

aka the one where Taylor gives Buck his ultimate fantasy and uncovers far more than either of them expected, forcing him to confront his long held feelings for Eddie

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by HMSLusitania (Rated E)

Buck 1.0 fathered a child and Buck 4.0 comes into custody.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) (Rated E)

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

Keep It On by R_E_R6 (Rated E)

When Eddie walks in on Buck, bent over in nothing but a hoodie, their plans for the night immediately change. Buck's outfit though? Well, Eddie requests that it stays the same...for reasons.

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by ElvenSorceress (Rated T)

Buck nearly loses everything and Eddie has to follow his heart

hungry for your love by evcndiaz (Rated G)

prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad”?"

or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests (Rated M)

A glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not.

Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts.

Except for how... he might not.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates (Rated E)

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.

But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back.

He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head.

ripples all the way down by iriswests (Rated M)

christopher partakes in some parent trapping

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings (Rated M)

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea (Rated M)

“You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Memorable by JessicaMDawn (Rated T)

Six times Buck got recognized by people he saved during the tsunami, and how his team realized he was a hero.

All Bets are Off by NobodyKnows_U (Not Rated)

Or, the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it.

fire on fire by extasiswings (Rated T)

Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.

Better Together by Randomfandombloggs09 (Not Rated)

5 times Eddie sees Buck wearing his last name and 1 time its not just his

Daddy and Pops by EdithBlake (Rated M)

When Christopher calls Buck 'Pops' things get a bit confusing. Buck and Eddie have a talk with Christopher that ends up with both of them being even more confused by how right it sounds.

the meaning of the words you see by florenceandthemachine (Rated E)

unknown sender: Hi!

unknown sender: Just wanted to say thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and for your number. Sorry I had to run.

unknown sender: I’m Eddie by the way.

sent: hey um

sent: i don’t want 2 be this guy but

sent: i think u mayb put the wrong # in ur phone

the dream you wish will come true by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Christopher Diaz cannot understand why his father would want to date his former teacher when Evan Buckley is right there.

vienna waits for you by mottainai (Not Rated)

Eddie doesn't deserve a soulmate.

Work Husband by hideeho (Rated T)

“What...what have you done with Buck?” Eddie is going to kill him for messing with his phone. No, that’s too extreme. He’s going to maim him. Just a little.

“Check under H,” Chim offers helpfully, shooting a look over to Hen with a smirk.

Why the hell would he be under—

Then he sees it.

Husband.

Bad Neighbors by firstdegreefangirl (Rated E)

Eddie's new neighbors are keeping him up all night. He calls on his best friend for a little taste of their own medicine.

Cross the Line by Sirencalls (Rated E)

Eddie laughs, short and quiet and almost to himself. “No. If you want to learn, then I’m gonna be the one to teach you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain stops working. “What? Why?”

Eddie turns to look at him and steps closer, their chests only a few inches apart. “Because there are people out there who will take advantage of how naïve you are. They’ll hurt you, and I won’t.” Eddie’s eyes are so intense that Buck doesn’t have any choice but to believe him. “If you want someone to do this for you, to—to dominate you, it has to be me. I don’t trust anyone else to do it right.”

pretty in pink by dykeevans (Rated E)

Buck forgets that he and Eddie made plans to hang out until Eddie shows up and Buck's in the middle of laundry day.

His laundry day outfit consists of a small pink crop top and grey sweatpants.

Eddie loses his damn mind. Me too, though, me too.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Rated G)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.

“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.

-or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Something Old, Something New by dumbhuman (Rated E)

“Damn, I love weddings!” Buck’s face lit up as he closed the door.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain what came over him in that moment to make him ask the question. Or, at least, he wouldn’t have wanted to explain. The exhaustion was an easy excuse, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t a real one.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn (Rated G)

five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu (Rated T)

“Why is everybody taking my relationship status so personally? Can’t I be fine with being single?” Buck said.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes, be sad and alone if that’s what you want,” Josh replied. “But, I’m just saying. I’ve seen photos and this guy is volcanic levels of hot. Also, single dad, super cute kid. Saves lives for a living like you. I think you should give it a go.”

(the one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there)

Keeping It In The Family by Wolves_of_Innistrad (Rated T)

A young man shows up at the firehouse looking for Buck. Turns out Javier was a Bartender with Buck in Mexico. He’s back in LA, looking to reconnect and very flirty. Cue Eddie realizing Buck is not as straight as he thought.

kiss me (like your ex is in the room) by rebeccaofsbfarm (Rated E)

Eddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (Rated M)

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is… missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home

All my Buddie AO3 bookmarks

As I said this fandom has some very talented people, some of my favorite Authors's Tumblrs below, I recommend all the things they wrote and their blogs are very good.

@elvensorceress, @hmslusitania, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @extasiswings

For gifs:

@arrenemris, @skylessnights (very lovely AU gifsets)

@from-nova(good gifs & content)

For Podfics: @mistmarauder everything she ever read is amazing, her podfics are high quality and she has a very lovely voice and her presence calms me down lol I recommend it

I'm sorry there are a lot more people but I'm kinda in a rush haha most of the people I follow are amazing, but the ones I mentioned here are enough to get you started or entertained for a while.

Buddie fics are amazing, this pairing has spoiled me so much, everyone I met because of it is nice and so active and talented.

Sorry mutuals if I forgot someone! 

I hope I helped Anon, have fun!

(Tell me if any link is wrong please, thanks)

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Do you happen to have any fics to help restore ones love for the irondad fandom? I'm suddenly afraid of loosing interest. Perhaps I haven't read a good fic in a while.

Oh, there is so much variety in the Irondad fandom that I guess it depends on what you enjoy.  Here are a few of my favorites from across the board.  

Whump with Feelings:

Of Flying and Falling by @polaroid15

Peter hums as if in deep thought. The blood on his face is bright and unrelenting in the glow of the fire, like some permanent reminder of Tony's failures. “Did you know my parents died in a plane crash?”

Tony jolts, the response hitting him like a freight train. He rubs Peter’s arm as his throat tightens. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“They must’ve been really scared.”

“Are you scared Peter?”

---

Or, on their way home from a fancy conference on the coast of Vancouver, Tony and Peter's helicopter crashes, ending what should have been a perfect weekend filled with maple ice cream and sea water in a desperate battle for survival.

A Mermaid AU:

Petey and the Hermit by eccentric_artist_221b

Three years after losing his wife and child to a fatal car accident, Tony Stark courts his darkest thoughts at the top of an old, abandoned lighthouse. Preserved at the last second by the supposed screams of a drowning victim, Tony leaps into action. Finding an injured merboy trapped in trawler lines between the crevice of a rock, he can only assume this is part of a whiskey induced dream. As he brings the creature home to nurse its wounds, he soon discovers this is more than he signed up for when it begins to form a bond with him.

Age Regression:

close to my heart, never to part by @parkrstark

During patrol one night, Peter comes across something that leaves him and Ned dumbfounded. The next morning, Ned is dropping off a now two-year-old Peter at Tony’s. Not only does he have to figure out how to turn him back, but he must watch him. Tony wonders what he’s supposed to do with the now toddler-Peter for the next two weeks…until he slowly starts to wonder what he will do without this boy after the two weeks are over.

Amnesia Victim Peter Parker:

Do You Know Who You Are? by loubuttons 

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For forgetting. I’m sure I didn’t want to forget you.”

Amnesia Victim- Tony Stark:

Identity [REDACTED] by @obsessionoftheday

Dissociative fugue is one or more episodes of amnesia in which an individual cannot recall some or all of his or her past. Either the loss of one's identity or the formation of a new identity may occur with sudden, unexpected, purposeful travel away from home.

OR

When Tony goes missing, Peter and Rhodey team up to find him.

Migraine and Injury two for one:

Keeping Company by @whumphoarder and @xxx-cat-xxx

While attempting to look after his migraine-riddled mentor, Peter manages to injure himself badly enough to need Tony’s help.

Lots of Fluff:

t-shirts by KiwisAndTea  @kiwisandtea

A collection of one-shots centered around Peter Parker's favorite shirts. They serve only two purposes:

1. to embarrass Peter

2. to make Tony Feel™ Things

Humor:

Sole Heir by GotMyInkPen  @gotmyinkpen

Tony Stark has officially decided that Peter Parker is his sole heir and will one day inherit Stark Industries. Here's how Peter prepares for that day.

Kid Peter Parker- Hydra :

darkness will be rewritten by @marveal

"Richard Parker was studying Cross-Species Genetics, but struggled with the ethics of it, because it required he use human DNA, which no ethics board would agree with. So he used his own. His work was successful based off of his own DNA, and every human has a unique DNA,” Bruce explains. “So, naturally, when HYDRA wanted his research, they knew they would never get his support, so they took the next best thing they could to his own DNA. His son."

Or, Tony finds a tortured and experimented-on Peter Parker in a HYDRA base and decides to help him because who else will?

Adoption AU:

I told you I had issues by Bergen 

Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and right now, a little exasperated. Because some guy is swinging around New York, shooting webs and making trouble, Fury is breathing down his neck, and his latest intern took off with his coupon for a free coffee.

Thank god for Pepper Potts.

--

...or, a Spider-Man AU where a set of bad circumstances begin to push Peter Parker down a wrong path, and where Tony is probably not the best person to deal with it, but he does anyway.

Kid Peter Meets Tony :

i promise you, kid, you'll be home soon by bstarship

If there was one good thing to come out of Tony's ultimate death at the end of the week, it was the ability to forget for a short period of time. He spent his time surrounded by strangers who idolized him and friends who sometimes gave less of a damn. But it was a kid who grounded him—who made him wish he had more time because he reminded him that there were good things to live for. One kid did all that.

Truly, Tony didn’t know how to make sense of it. A part of him told him to be unabashedly humble. Another part said to leave the kid and drive to Miami with the top down until his eyes fell out of their sockets.

A kid who had a shopping bag tied around his wrist with the Stark Expo logo on the side. A kid who was silent for a while until he finally said, “I have to use the bathroom.”

It was just a kid. A kid.

or

Peter is eight-years-old and loves everything about Iron Man. Tony is dying and helps a lost kid find his aunt and uncle.

Sickfic:

Sick and Lost by @kittybellestark

Peter’s sick and took the wrong bus. He meant to go to New Jersey but ends up in not New Jersey and calls Tony for help. He isn't having a great time but at least he has Tony on his side.

Okay, I could go on ALL DAY so I think I’ll stop here.  If you find something you enjoy and want more things like it, let me know!

[mrsamaroevans]

YOU ALL OVER ME | ANGEL REYES

Fandom: Mayans M.C.

Pairing: Angel Reyes x the consequences of his bad decisions with Female Reader.

Words: 3,673.

Warnings: Sad and like a bad word. English is not my first language, so, sorry if there are grammar mistakes or if the redaction is poor.

A/N: This is the first thing I finish like in ages! This was not requested but I couldn’t stop listening to You All Over Me by Taylor and this came out. Thank you so much for reading, feedback is well received. *Gif is not mine*

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

“The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you, with your hands in your pockets and your ‘don't you wish you had me’ grin. But I did, so I smiled”

Santo Padre Regional High School.

Those were the words that you read before crossing the door with your mother. You had only one week in Santo Padre and you still had time before the school year begins, but she wanted to have all that ready as soon as possible.

While your mother was making all the paperwork, you were waiting on a bench outside of the office until you got bored. As no one could stop you, you decided to walk around for the facilities of what soon would be your new school. It was smaller than the school you used to go to before moving across the country, but it was okay. Classrooms were big enough, lockers a bit smaller y the patios were open and surrounded by green areas. You weren’t too disgusted about changing school again anymore.

Near the cafetería, was a mural with pictures of the different extracurricular classes and the people who were part of them. The cheerleader’s team looked too pretentious. You hated that cliché, but it was what you felt by just looking at the picture, you could be wrong though. The theatre team looked cool, maybe you’d join them. Then, was the football team.

Guys that looked bigger than what a sixteen-year-old guy should be. One of them proudly carried a big trophy. He had to be the leader, it always is. What was the position they had? You didn’t know, you weren’t too familiar with the terms of the sport.

But that guy in specific caught your attention. It wasn’t because of the trophy he had in his hands or what that meant. He had a beautiful smile, but for some reason, it didn’t look sincere. There was something in his eyes that kept you looking at him. All of him looked happy and proud, but there was something more. Unfortunately, if someone asked you what it was, you wouldn’t know how to explain it. But there was something there.

“You’re new?”

You gave a little jump at the unexpected voice on your side. You turned to your right and you saw him again. The same guy with the trophy in the picture, now in real size at your side.

“I’m gonna be” you nodded and looked back at the mural to see the rest of the teams.

“And, you like what you see?”

That flirty tone in his voice almost made you laugh. You turned to him again and saw that he had a smile that combined with the tone of voice he used and with the question he had made. His hands in his pockets, making his biceps more notorious.

“A little bit, yeah,” you said, willing to not let him intimidate you. And the truth was that you really liked what you were seeing “You are on summer break, right? What are you doing here?”

“I’m gonna do an exam,” he said like he didn’t want to talk much about it, but you didn’t realize it.

“You’re still on finals?” You asked, confused. The first time you noticed in your route was that there were no students or teachers.

“Oh, no… it’s an extraordinary exam. Chemistry” The guy answered as he didn’t care too much that he failed a class. You didn’t know what would be your situation at home if you were in his place.

“So, you’re not good with chemistry, then”

“It all depends on the situation” he smiled.

You kept his gaze for a few seconds. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction to know that the first guy that got close to you in that city had made you shy. But the visual contact didn’t last too long, ‘cause you had to look at the ground for a second.

“What did you say your name was?” You asked, looking back at his face. He had beautiful brown eyes, but you were afraid that if you look at them for too long, he could know all your secrets.

“Angel,” he said and he looked so calm that that frustrated you even more.

“And I’m sure you’re not one”

Angel devilishly grinned and you felt your knees going a little weak. How a guy that you didn’t even know could have that power on you?

“What’s your name?” He asked and when you were about to answer, your phone rang so you lifted your index finger at him to ask for a moment. You took your mother’s call and the first thing she asked was:

“Where did you go?”

“I’m just walking around,” You told her calmly. You felt kinda sad when she told you that you needed to go to the office to sign the institutional regulation. That meant that your conversation with Angel came to an end “Okay... coming” you end the call and as you were placing your phone back into your pocket, you said: “I have to go”

You looked at him for the last time and started to make your way to the office, but you didn’t even give five steps when he spoke again.

“Hey!” He shouted making you turn back to him “You didn’t tell me your name”

“(Y/n)” you smiled and turned around to the way you had ahead.

“I lived, and I learned. Had you, got burned. Held out, and held on, God knows”

All the effort for the first date. The first kiss. The first ‘I love you.' The first time you made love. That day you met his parents and they adopted you into their family right away. All the double dates with his brother and girlfriend. The fairs and festivals. The football matches in which you were the one screaming louder than anyone whenever they made a score. His better grades. The jealousy from both sides. The fights because of the cheerleaders. All those break-ups and comebacks. Those days at the beach. The laughs. The tears. The good and the bad had gone and all because of his insecurities.

How did that happen? With three pictures someone left in your locker.

“What the hell, Angel?” Was the first thing you asked when you confronted him after school.

He saw the pictures and shrugged “You need me to explain it?” Those words had hit you too hard like never before a question had made. Your heart was breaking and it looked like he didn’t care even a little.

“What’s wrong with you?” You asked, not understanding that attitude towards you. He had never talked to you like that.

“Nothing, you’re the one who wants to fight,” He said, turning around to walk to the small desk beside his bed.

“I received pictures of you sleeping with Haley, what were you expecting?” You got close and threw the pictures at his back, they hit him and then fell to the floor. Angel barely looked at them and chuckled.

“It’s not so bad,” he said, turning to you.

“That it’s not so…?” You laughed at what you heard. Angel was a bit distant weeks before you had to go to college to finish your registration, but you never thought something like that could happen “It has to be a joke”

“You left for a week and I had physiology needs”

“Fucking jerk!” You shouted and couldn’t help but push him making him crashed against his desk. Some brushes fell to the floor and the tears in your eyes started to gather. You didn’t want him to see you crying, so you decided it was time to go.

“Everyone told you that but you didn’t want to see it” he aggressively said.

“Well, you got it” you turned to him and shrugged “Another broken heart… you smashed it” your voice trembled with the last words. That seemed to affect him because his hard expression softened for a second “I hope you’re happy”

But Angel wasn’t even close to being happy.

Once you left his room, he sat on the floor and saw the pictures. He ripped them apart while the tears fell from his cheeks. He hated himself.

He was a coward. He couldn’t break up with you, but he couldn’t let you stay with him. You had plans that he didn’t. Your vision of the future didn’t fit with his, and it was because he didn’t have one. He didn’t have plans like you, he wanted to go and take anything that comes his way. You had ambition, you had a plan to make your dreams come true, and him? He didn’t have anything.

To his eyes, you didn’t deserve someone like him.

“I lived, and I learned, and found out what it was to turn around and see, that we were never really meant to be”

Years went by and life changed.

Angel went through something he thought he never would. His mother has ripped away from their lives and that had been a hard blew for him. His little brother was sent to prison y couldn’t help but feel responsible because he made his way to get a gun easier. Ezekiel told him it was for mere protection, but deep down he knew his brother wanted retaliation.

And that made him get life imprisonment for the homicide of a cop.

His relationship with his father became tenser than what already was. But, after all that he had lost, he found a shelter. The club. Mayans MC. Those men went from simple mates to family too quickly.

He had heard from his father that you came back to the city. By that moment you were already done with college and your parents had been —finally— established in Santo Padre. You told him once, that you had fallen in love with the city and that, definitely, you could see your future there. So, when Felipe said that, he didn’t doubt in believing him.

But knowing you came back and seeing you had been so different for him.

He was on his way to the scrapyard in his bike with Coco and Gilly at both of his sides, but they had to stop for gas. Coco was saying something about how much he hated the hot weather and the incensement in the price of gas when a silver jeep parked in the pump in front of his.

Three doors opened. From the driver’s one jumped off a man with braids and sunglasses; he went directly to the pump. From one of the backseats door, as beautiful as he remembered, you went out.

He saw how you fixed your dress and laugh at something someone told you. You were fanning your face with your hands, a sign that you were hot. Then, a couple of seconds later, you took your hair and tied it in a messy bun. The hot air of Santo Padre in summer was excessive.

“We should have closed the windows and put the air conditioner” Angel heard a masculine voice and then he heard your laugh.

“You know that the combination of air conditioner and this weather make me sick, honey”

Honey. Angel hadn’t forgotten how that word sounded coming from your lips, but hearing you say it to another man broke his heart.

A man in a suit that looked to be more expensive than all of the boots Angel had, walked to you. He had a smile when he kissed you and even though he didn’t want to keep watching, for some unknown reason he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“That last house’s not a sign to desist in looking for our home here,” the man told you, taking your hands “We’re gonna find the perfect house or the perfect place to build it”

“I know,” you said and nodded. Your left hand touched his cheek and that was when Angel turned to his bike. The sunrays helped to the gleam of the giant diamond in your finger to not being unnoticed by him.

You were engaged, and you and your fiancé were looking for a house, which meant it wouldn’t take long for you to marry.

“You okay?” Coco asked him. He was pale and it seemed he could faint at any moment. But Angel didn’t answer, he turned to the jeep when the doors got closed instead.

The driver started the engine and that was when your gaze stopped in him.

You looked fine. You looked happy. When your eyes connected with his, you didn’t seem surprised or hurt, or shocked. In fact, he couldn’t decipher what he saw in your eyes.

“You know her?” Gilly asked.

“I used to,” Angel said when he found his voice which wasn’t quickly.

And even though he was hurt for letting you go in the way he did, when he saw you he realized that he had made the right decision. ‘Cause you belong to the world that man in the expensive suit could give you. It was too painful though, to find out —again— that he never really had a chance like that with you.

That night, he required the services of Vicky’s girls and after that, Coco had to drive him to his apartment ‘cause he couldn’t even walk for all the alcohol he drank to cope with the pain.

“So I lied, and I cried, and I watched a part of myself die”

Days after and thanks to el Padrino, he knew who your fiancé was. His name was Miguel Galindo and he was the son of José Galindo, founder of one the most powerful and deadliest cartels in the México-USA border. He also knew that your wedding was set to be in October and that would be in three months.

That day in the gas station wasn’t the last time he saw you. He had seen you in the mall with the first friend you made in Santo Padre. You met in the market and it had been so uncomfortable. There were a lot of people and you had to walk by too close to each other. He also saw you going out of a restaurant with Miguel at your side and once and then you two were in the paper news for going to charity events.

It didn’t matter how many times he saw you at the side of another man, he could never get use to it.

“I know you didn’t want to talk about it at the moment, but… why did you break up?” Felipe asked him. He didn’t more information to know what he meant. Angel had a couple of days going to his parents' house and Felipe knew why.

You had been there on so many occasions and Angel still couldn’t get over you.

“I cheated on her” Angel said “I slept with one of the cheerleaders and I made sure to have evidence. Evidence that I left in her locker”

Felipe sighed and shook his head no “We didn’t raise you like that, Angel”

“I know that” he sounded irritated “But I needed to push her away from me so she could get all the goals she had in life… and it turned out fine. She’s so much better now”

“Did you apologize to her?” His father questioned, hoping to get a positive answer, but when Angel remained silent, he got the answer he didn’t want “You have to do it, Angel. She was and is a great woman, she didn’t deserve that. But at least do it for your mother” Angel turned to his father. There were tears in his eyes at the mention of her “Your mother loved that kid, and she always taught you to apologize when you did something wrong”

Angel nodded and took his gaze up to the ceiling, promising his mother that he would apologize next time he sees you.

A month went by to see you again. A Friday, his father had asked him for help at the butcher shop, so he went out of the clubhouse and when he arrived at the shop, he saw a jeep parked outside and a man waiting by the backseat’s door. For the glass of the shop, he saw his father talking to you. You were smiling and later, your exit coincided with his entrance.

“Sorry,” you said with a small smile and thanked him when Angel stepped aside to let you walk out.

Angel looked at his father and the expression on his face said “Go” so he just nodded got out of the shop.

“Hey, (y/n)” his voice went out less determined than what he wanted, but it worked out to have your attention. The driver had already opened the door for you, but you still turned to him “Can we talk?”

“Uh… I don’t see why” you said.

“Please…” Angel insisted, feeling nervous for the first time in too long.

“Fine” you nodded and made a sign to your driver for him to wait. He took the butcher bag and went to the trunk “What happens?” You asked, giving a few steps towards him.

Angel pointed at the table so you could sit with him, and you did.

“I never apologized for what I did to you,” he said after a few seconds of silence. He saw you sighing and shaking your head.

“Angel…” you began to say, but he interrupted you.

“No, wait… I’m sorry. I truly am and I was in that moment too” he accepted, taking you by surprise ‘cause that day you didn’t see any repentance in him “I was a jerk, you didn’t deserve that and I’m so sorry”

You didn’t know what to say for a moment. Clearly, you had gotten over what happened, but, talking about it only took you to all the pain you felt and the depression you fell into that lasted more than you would have liked.

“Well, thank you for your apologies. I accept them” you finally said and Angel looked relieved with those words “But, don’t worry anymore… it’s been some years and we got over it, right?” You asked with a small smile on your face.

“Yeah…” Angel lied “I think it turned out fine for both of us”

“Yes, everything’s fine now” you repeated “And, well… we’re going to find once and then, the city is too small. Is good that it won’t be uncomfortable next time we cross paths” you smiled once more and stood up “I have to go” Angel accepted that and even though he wanted to make you stay a little bit longer. You stopped and turned to him by yourself “Angel?”

Angel looked up to you, you were closer than what he thought you would “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mom,” you said pressing your lips together. When that happened, you called Felipe and Ez and talked to them, but you didn’t dare to talk to Angel.

“Thanks for the flowers” you shook your head no. You sent those flowers because you were in pain for what happened too, not because you wanted to look good before them or for them to thank you afterward.

“I loved her. She was amazing”

Angel smiled, remembering the times when his mother had told him that you were the one and that she would love to have you as a daughter-in-law “She loved you, too. She loved you so much” he admitted.

You smiled and did something that took him by surprise: you hugged him.

Angel reacted in time to hug you back, he did it tighter though, like he didn’t want to let you go again, and the truth was that he didn’t want to.

“Bye,” you said when you got apart, but he couldn’t say anything back. He just looked how you got in the car and how the jeep went away from the shop as he held on to those five seconds that the hug lasted.

The days kept on going until they became weeks and October arrived quicker than Angel imagined. El Padrino was invited to the wedding ‘cause he had been close to your future late father-in-law, so Miguel appreciated him.

Angel had promised himself he wouldn’t go. Being there and see you taking someone else’s name wouldn’t help in anything, but couldn’t contain from doing it. A few minutes after seven p.m, he drove to the church and waited outside. He was in a spot in which people couldn’t see him, but he would see when they go out. In his hands, he had a strip with black and white pictures from one of those machines at fairs. Those were the only pictures he kept after you broke up with him.

In the first one, you were only smiling. In the second, he was kissing you and in the third, you were smiling and showing your left hand in which you had a candy ring that Angel bought for you.

At 7:45 people started to leave the church and it didn’t take too long for you and your now-husband to go out. You looked beautiful. Your smile could light up the whole country, and, the man at your side looked happy too. He should be. Marry you should be enough reasons to be the happiest and luckiest man on the planet.

A tear fell when your husband cupped your face and kissed you. It didn’t matter how happy you looked, Angel couldn’t help but wish to be him taking your hand at that moment. He looked down at the pictures and sighed. He left them in the tree trunk that was being used as his hiding spot and turned to you, one last time.

He still loved you like the first day and he couldn’t deny it, and also couldn’t hide it. He was hoping to find you in another life to make things right.

“Cause no amount of freedom gets you clean. I’ve still got you all over me”

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Since [redacted] seems to have forgotten the character of Sam Winchester, I wanted to give everyone a brief reminder that this is Not My Sam Winchester. Not the one who always wanted Dean to fight to keep living, to keep loving, to keep embracing that he is worthy and valued and deserving of happiness and a fulfilled life. Not the one who got addicted to demon blood so he could save people possessed by demons by pulling the demon out of them without harming their bodies.  Not this Sam.  Sam Winchester is not a man who would be happy someone else died so he could live.

But since we are all talking about it, buddies - 

[insert banner art with WINC*ST shippers keep your hands off this post here]

Receipts after the cut.

(I also wanted to add that honestly this commentary is not surprising.  See this post.)

2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose (part 2)

SAM (Voice breaking) 

How long do you get?

DEAN 

One year. (SAM nods, tears in his eyes.) I got one year.

SAM 

You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that?

DEAN 

Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job.

SAM 

And what do you think my job is?

DEAN 

What?

SAM 

You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? 

And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change.

3x10 Dream a Little Dream of Me

05x22 Swan Song

DEAN

So then what am I supposed to do? SAM

You go find Lisa. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, and you – you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me. 

8x22 Clip Show

SAM

You heard Crowley. He's not gonna let one near us, and without a demon, all we can do is sit back and watch people we know, people we saved, die like Sarah.

DEAN

So what are you saying?

SAM

I'm saying... Maybe this isn't one we can win. Maybe we should just take the deal.

8x23 Sacrifice

9x07 Bad Boys

SAM You just got lucky?

DEAN nods.

SAM (continues) Kind of like you did with this place. I mean, here I was thinking this was the worst part of your life, and it turns out it was the best. Why'd you ever leave?

DEAN Never felt right.

SAM Really?

SAM Dean ... Thank you.

DEAN For what?

SAM For always being there, for – having my back. Look, I know it always hasn't been easy …

10x07 Girls Girls Girls

SAM

What you said earlier, back there, about being past saving -- were you really --

10x23 Brother’s Keeper

DEAN

And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it.

SAM

No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean.

[Sam reaches into his jacket and holds some photos in his hand]

SAM

Take these. And one day, when you find your way back... Let these be your guide. And they can help you remember what it was to be good...what it was to love.

[Sam looks down and places the two pictures we saw in the opening on the floor. One of Mary Winchester and Dean as a young boy and another of Mary, Dean and Sam as an infant. Sam looks back up at Dean and Dean hesitates, looking conflicted. Death is standing behind Dean]

11x02 Form and Void

Dean deserves a life.”

11x05 Thin Lizzie

11x23 Alpha and Omega

SAM:

Dean, you know, you don't have to do this.

12x22 Who We Are

SAM

Promise.

13x23 Let the Good Times Roll

SAM

Kill me.

JACK

What? ‭

SAM

Kill me.‬‬‬‬

You can stop him, Jack. You can get your power back.

JACK

No, I-I c-can't. 

 ‭‬‬‬SAM

What?‬

JACK

I know you can.

14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land

SAM

Cas, I -- No, I-I-I don't blame you. I... Honestly, I-I wish I'd have thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean, I-I'd work with -- 

14x12 Prophet and Loss

SAM You have one card today! But we’ll find another tomorrow. But if you quit on us today, there will be no tomorrow! You tell me, uh, you don’t know what else to do. I don’t either, Dean. Not yet. But what you’re doing now, i-it’s – it’s wrong! It’s quitting! I mean, l-look what just happened. Donatello never quit fighting. So we could help him because he never gave up.

14x20 Moriah

SAM

I'm the one who brought him back, and I brought him back because he's family. And then he came back, and he burned his soul off to save us... you and me. And now what? You... Now you... you want my permission? You want me to say I'm cool with losing him and losing you all at once? 'Cause I can't do that. I won't say that, 'cause I...

15x20: Carry On (I am so mad I am so mad I am SO mad that I even had to go to this transcript but this is important to include)

SAM

Yeah.

Um... alright.

I'll call for help. I'll get the first-aid kit.

***I’m sure there are more examples than this, but none of this tracks with what was said in the article.  THIS is the show I watched.  

Honestly, the only Sam That Would Have Agreed With What Was Said is this one -

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[aphrodicted]

My method to manifest things I wish in my life I: Manifesting a desired person

For a time I had a need to meet new people. I was going to enter the university, I lost contact with my old friends and, in the end, I felt that I was alone and I wouldn’t be able to meet anyone who could accompany me in my new stage. For this reason, and after meditating on what was the most practical and comfortable method for me, I decided to write a letter to the Universe and thank it for the experiences that it had made me live and, also, explain about the new people who had appeared in my life. And that's how, in two months, the boy I had described in my letter appeared.

Before I begin to explain how I made the letter, I need to clarify certain points that seem very important to me. Using this method isn’t negative or qualifies us as losers for not being able to make new friends quickly. There are people who are shy or cannot find the right situation to meet people. Making this letter will help you know what kind of people you want in your life and what kind of relationships you want to live in the future. Also, this exercise can be used to find out if the relationships in your present life make you happy or not, if they are based on attachment or other negative feelings. On the other hand, it can also help you discover how much you idealize the people around you. You can add the characteristics you want in the letter, but it’s essential you use logic and don’t ask to have, for example, a famous singer as your friend.

Another important idea is to know the letter will not manifest itself if you don’t contribute to making everything you have written happen. For example, being at home with your arms crossed and waiting for them to knock on your door isn’t a good decision. As far as you can, and you feel comfortable (don't force yourself if you don't feel prepared, please), get out of your comfort zone and seek to participate in activities where you can meet new people, visit places where you can interact with people... Everything will depend on the type of person you want to express: if you want a friend who loves sports, you can join a gym, go to the park for a run, etc.

What do I need to create my letter?

Paper to write your letter,

red or blue pen,

envelopes to store the letter,

flowers you relate with the person you are asking for (for example, I used dried red roses when I manifested my old boyfriend),

white sugar

and cinnamon powder.

So, I already have all the materials that you have asked me, how do I start?

Take your time to think about the person you want to manifest in your life. Depending on the type of person (lover or friend), I recommend taking into account some points.

If you want to manifest a boyfriend or girlfriend, you should take into account the following: physical appearance (his/her body, how he/she dresses...), personality, hobbies, how will your relationship with him or her be (how will you treat each other, your day to day together, etc.) and your sex life (if you are comfortable talking about it).

If you want to manifest a friend: your desired friend's personality, his/her hobbies, how your relationship will be (what you will do together, how your free time will be shared, etc.). I don't think physical appearance is important when it comes to friendship, but if it's important to you, you can add it.

This will take time and, perhaps, it’s advisable to make several drafts before writing your letter. Don’t be angry for taking too long to decide, since you have all the time to write and correct the aspects you consider unimportant. In the end, the draft is a tool to get rid of those aspects that you thought were important and aren’t important now or viceversa. Understand yor draft as a way to know yourself more and who you want to have by your side.

Decide where and when you will write your letter. I recommend you do it in a place and time where you can be alone and without distractions. When you have decided where and when: be sure to clean the area where you will work and place the materials near you. Some people enjoy putting incense, lighting a candle, or listening to music, but you should do what helps you to focus the most. Don't forget your final draft, if you've made one!

Before writing, I advise you to use a red pen if you want to manifest a lover and the blue pen if it’s about friends. Why? There is no special reason, I simply associate these colors with love (red) and blue (friendship), and when I have done this exercise I have used them in this way and it has worked for me. If you associate green with friendship, you can write your letter in green. However, I do recommend not using black pens for this.

Start writing "Dear Universe/God/Aphrodite (to the entity you want to address, it is important that you have faith and trust in that entity), I write this letter to thank you for the arrival of all the people who are part of my life, but I especially want to thank you for the existence of the person who has become my boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/friends...". Below you can start by talking about his/her/their physical appearance ("he/she/they have a beautiful smile that makes me smile next to them/her/him"), how he/she dresses ("his way of dressing I love, since he wears clothes of black and red like me") or talk about a part of their body that is important to you. For example, I like men with big hands and I always try to specify it in my letter. However, remember the more specific the person you ask for, the longer it may take to reach your life. In this section, if you think it’s important, you can talk about his/her/their birth chart. I asked to meet a man with Pisces as his sun sign, and so it was.

I recommend you to continue with his/her/their personality and his/her/their hobbies. Both this section and the physical appearance can be done using a list and not redacted, since the intention is that you visualize that person while you write, so the way of writing it is indifferent. After specifying his/her/their personality (“likeable, generous, humorous...”) and his/her/their hobbies (“painting, singing, dancing, cinema, cooking...”), you should talk about your relationship with him/her/them.

This point I recommend it to be written, since your feelings and your sensations will be fundamental. You must write it in first person and in present tense (never in past or future), as if you were living it at that very moment. Your paths and feelings should be reflected in the letter: "I feel happy whenever he/she/they takes my hand, I feel butterflies in my stomach every time we look at each other." What you feel next to that person is very important, and all your feelings must be reflected. On the other hand, it’s advisable to visualize as you write about your dream relationship, so the visualization should be in first person: as if you had him/her/them in front of your eyes.

The same for your sex life: what you feel, what practices you do with he or she... write everything you think is important.

The end of your letter is also very important. You should finish your writing by thanking the entity you referred to at the beginning of your letter. "For all this, dear Universe/God/Aphrodite, I am grateful that you have brought this person and all these sensations, emotions and blessings to his side. I wish to continue to be with this person for a long time. Thank you, Universe/God/Aphrodite, thank you, thank you. Let your will be done.” If you don't want to say "Let your will be done", you can always say: "That's right. That's how it will be". It doesn't matter how many pages you have used. There will be people who end up writing four pages and others will only use two pages.

When you finish your letter, I recommend you to read it in case you have forgotten something, if everything is correct: take your envelope and add a little cinnamon powder, sugar and the flowers you have chosen inside it. Spread the cinnamon and sugar inside the envelope and try to get it stained with the cinnamon. Do the same with your letter: spread the cinnamon powder on the pages until they are stained. You don't have to add a lot of cinnamon, just enough to stain the pages. Fold the pages so you can put them in the envelope and, if you still have some flowers, spread them out inside the folded pages. When the folded pages are inside your envelope, close it and hide it somewhere where you won't go looking for it. In my case, I kept it in a folder full of old documents that I didn't use. Don’t hide your letter in a dirty or humid place, since it will not help to manifest itself.

And you're done!

The following steps are the most complicated: forget about the existence of your letter and the person you have asked to manifest. The less you obsess, the faster it will appear in your life. I managed to forget and comply with the corresponding detachment and in less than two months the person I asked for appeared through a friend from my university.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

Happy manifestation, angel! Good luck!

[echo-three-one]

A Forgotten Memory

An Alex x OC fic

Apparently, this is the eighth chapter!

Link to the first one here (for the new readers if there are any)

This one's the longest so far!

Reviews and Comments appreciated. It fuels me to keep on writing. Enjoy!

VIII - Samantha

Samantha felt that she lived for a year inside her dream realm. She was aware that this was all a dream because it wasn't possible that Connor was alive, but then again it pains to see how she's fooling herself with fake memories.

Certain moments while she's walking along the beachside with Connor, he would immediately dissappear, and would never come back until a few more days in her dream. She wondered what time it was outside but all she knew was she kept living the same tragic day again and again and again. She found a loophole though, she prevented him from taking that yacht but would find himself a different situation where he ends up dead. It felt like she was meant to feel extreme sadness from loss.

This wasn't what her captors wanted from her. They wanted 'something she accidentally saw on her father's drawer'. Then it dawned on her, those were numbers and dots separating them, almost like an IP Address. Just as she tried recalling it, thanks to the drug flowing in her bloodstream, the numbers began to slowly melt as a faint smell of cheese wafted around her. With one soft gasp, she found herself awake.

Thick oak trees covered the windows as she turns around the room. She's in a log cabin, but fancier. She slowly ripped her dextrose as she quietly made her way down to the living room. She knows where she is, TV taught her that only the evil people could afford expensive things. Grabbing a medicine tray beside her bed, she slowly descended the stairs, readying herself as she attempted to beat her abductor with an aluminum tray.

Following the scent of melted cheese, she tiptoed across the living room to the kitchen, a man was standing behind the sink. Athletic build and arms sprawled with tattooes. He pretty much looked like Alex, but this one reeks evil.

The loud clang of aluminum rang as she hit her abductor square on the head, knocking him down temporarily dazed. Her eyes slowly opened to reveal Alex, who's rubbing his head and wincing in pain.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Alex. I thought I was still held captive!" She quickly assisted him up and grabbed a bottle of cold water for his head.

Alex was too hurt and surprised to talk but as soon as their eyes met, it almost felt like he wasn't hit by a medicine tray just now.

"You're awake!" was all he said as he hugged her tight. Then he realized, he wasn't supposed to do that. Samantha just sat beside him by the kitchen floor, confused. He immediately let go of his arms and pretended to be still dazed. He was just too overwhelmed to see her okay.

"Is your head okay?" She asked, with an expressionless face. Alex nodded.

"Nothing major. I just need ice maybe."

"Got it." Samantha quickly stood up and opened the fridge. Her warm cheeks couldn't feel the cold breeze. She was blushing hard and staring blankly at the contents of the fridge.

"I think we don't have ice. A cold water bottle would be fine." Alex commented as Samantha snapped back to reality. She remembered she had an injured person to tend to. Quickly grabbing the bottle, she plopped herself beside Alex who groggily found his way to the sofa.

The bump was slightly obvious and Samantha can't help but laugh at him. It was a funny mistake but what matters is that she finally saw him again.

"Where are we?" she asked, tilting her head and looking at Alex trying not to laugh.

"CIA Safehouse 110197" Alex mouthed.

"Which is... where?"

"Classified. Even I don't know where we are." he lied.

"And where are the others?"

"It's actually just you and me." he replied, looking down, his eyes rolled trying to see her reaction. Samantha rolled her eyes somewhere else evading to meet his gaze.

"Great. Guess I have to tend to my mistakes." She quickly got up and went up to the bedroom. Alex simply sat there waiting for her to come back.

"This house is complete. There's actually a medicine box by the bathroom sink!" She exclaimed in excitement as she set her kit and prepared the gauze.

"You'd be surprised on what you can find by the sofas." Alex chuckled and immediately winced in pain as Samantha placed a plaster by his bump.

"You could've said something!" he complained, Samantha just laughed.

"I always wanted to be a doctor..." she said.

"Why didn't you?" Alex shifted his seat and placed the water bottle by the table.

"I can't be a professional doctor while on a fake identity, Alex. You probably knew by now that I'm uh.. redacted? You did scan me when the CIA was here right?" She smirked, making Alex amused and clueless was a beautiful view. If only she had her camera, she'd take a photo of it and pin it by the fridge back at home.

"Yeah. That's right." was all he could say.

Samantha placed her hand by the back rest of the sofa and raised her leg comfortably to the sofa. She was still wearing Alex's clothes from the other night and all Alex could think of is why?

"I'm Samantha Coleman."

"Coleman as in..."

"Yes. The daughter of the Head of National Defense, Richard Coleman."

Alex froze in amazement and the puzzle pieces finally make sense. What's missing now is why they're after her and what's with the memory serum.

"So um... any idea on what they want?" Alex asked, his eyes felt intense and curious. Something Samantha can't help but stare at.

"I guess it's a childhood memory... Of my father's office. They're looking for an IP address... Does it ring any bells?" Samantha explained, her hands fiddled on the sofa's fabric, squeezing it and rubbing her thumbs against it.

"No. But I could relay it to those assigned to the case. It could help a lot." Alex's hands slowly trailed to hers, squeezing it a little bit.

"Thanks for cooperating, Samantha. What you just did may save the lives of those missing." A soft smile escaped his lips. Samantha froze in shock. Maybe it's the sincerity of his face, maybe it's the feel of his hand on hers, maybe it's her heart racing so fast. She wasn't sure why she found herself unable to move or speak.

Awkward silence filled the room, neither one of them moved an inch. The crickets outside sounded louder as the silence grew between them. Then burnt toast filled the air.

They both snapped out of whatever trance they were making, eyes quickly diverted away as Alex removed his hand above hers.

"Oh Crap! The toast!" The CIA agent hurriedly rushed by the kitchen and turned off the oven toaster, showing a very burnt piece of bread.

"You're not supposed to put it on an oven, Alex" Samantha giggled as she assisted him. They quickly became cook and assistant as Alex started to learn something from the expert, whereas Samantha proudly taught him how to make basic breakfast specialties.

"How come you didn't know how to cook?" Samantha asked, pouring oil to the pan.

"We don't usually prepare meals." Alex replied rapidly whisking the eggs, Samantha looked worried that he might break the bowl.

"So what do you eat?"

"Energy bars, ready to eat meals, beef jerky, chicken. You know, the simple stuff but filled with essential nutrients." Alex proudly replied.

"Boooring! You know you should try some of life's greatest meals sometime."

"Someday."

***

Samantha became very comfortable around Alex. Despite her judging him at first glance, she actually enjoyed his company. Over the course of the day, they found themselves mostly talking about every possible thing, leaving an impression that he's really good with people.

It felt warm and fuzzy that the idea of them being alone in one roof felt appropriate. She almost wished they'd end up like this forever, but that meant the criminals are still out there. She wanted to be selfish just for once as she literally gave up her life just to blend in. Would it kill for her to have a good time?

Nighttime came and they settled for barbeque, something Alex claimed he's good at. Samantha watched him from a safe distance as he showed off his cooking skills at her.

He was wearing a "Kiss the Chef" apron over his black tank top and camo pants, a sight admirable for her. She found herself a cozy silk spaghetti strap nightgown from CIA's supply box. She just looked at him from the moment he unboxed a dusty grill box until he assembled it fully, asking him questions about his work to which he answers with certain confidentality.

"You hungry?" He asked teasingly as he placed the meat on the grill letting it sizzle as it puffed smoke toward him.

She wanted to say she's hungry, but not for food. But it felt inappropriate, she knew he's with her because it's his job to, but she couldn't help but feel needed. Especially that she spent the last eighteen hours of her life mourning about sad memories.

"So, silence means yes?" Alex tilted his head to meet her gaze. It's that stare once again.

"Uh yeah. Impress me Mr. Chef!" She cheered as they continue talking while they prepare dinner.

As the meat started to become tender, so did their conversation. They slowly diverted the topic to something private.

"Have you been into any relationships before?" Samantha finally asked the question she's dying to ask him. Alex's movements became cautious and his eyes slowly looked at her. He could tell that she's really curious and excited about the question as shown by her widening pupils.

"Yeah. Here and there. They don't last long as I always had to move when reassigned." He replied eating a mouthful of steak.

"So where would you be after all this is over."

"Wherever they'll send me."

"Are you happy with it? Being sent here and there?"

"As long as I could save the world." He smiled. A smile so genuine, Samantha slightly felt goosebumps.

"Cool." She replied, wiping her face with a napkin.

"Thanks for the meal, Mr. Chef. I'll go take a shower and sleep." She stood up, her voice almost felt sad.

"Samantha, wait! Did I say something wrong?" Alex quickly grabbed her hand before she could walk away.

"No. You said everything that I need to know."

Tears start falling out of her eyes, Alex noticed this and wiped it off with his thumbs lifting her chin up to meet his face. She couldn't stare at him, not with those sad eyes.

"Look, I know what you feel, because I feel it too, from the moment our eyes met..." Samantha looked at him.

"...But I can't risk it enough because I know I'll hurt you... I can't show affection to you because after all of this is over I have to leave." Alex stared at her, his words stung more than that needle from yesterday.

"But, you already made an impact in my life. It doesn't matter if we go too far..."

"I can handle the hurt... but you've already lost a lot. I can't let myself be the reason for it." Alex closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

She knew this would happen. Hence the questioning earlier, she wanted to make sure she's right about her suspicions. She was right to resist his charms the moment they met, but then again she took the risk and fell for him. A choice she willingly took.

"I've mourned the loss of my boyfriend for three years. What's a few more for you?" she breathed, almost cracking as she held back a sob. Alex nervously stared at her. She was willing to take the risk of getting hurt, all for s short moment with him.

Alex did the math. If she's true to her words it's a win-win. No more pretending, they'd both be happy and they both accept the impending end as soon as this was all over. What's holding him back is the end of both their promises, but it didn't matter when he let his heart decide for once.

He licked his lips as he slowly kissed her. It was awkward at first but as soon as they both felt comfortable, it felt relieving. Each moan signified the supressed feelings they had toward each other since day one. Each clash of tongue meant hope after years of mourning. It was a kiss that lasted longer than they could remember.