#surely to reject is more than just admitting you don't feel exactly the same?

[galacticlamps]

I don't want to get too caught up on semantics but I have to say I really feel like it's an unfair reading of the situation to call what Charles does in the Staircase Scene a "rejection."

I've already talked about how I think that scene's strength lies in the act of telling itself and Edwin's confession as the conclusion of his self-discovery arc. And I understand how the fact that that arc involved things like sexuality & attraction left it open to being viewed under a sort of romance-plot-specific lens, but evaluating the whole thing on that criteria still feels like a misrepresentation.

I don't think Edwin is saying "Love me" in that scene. Maybe he would've been asking for that, if this had all happened under different circumstances - and sure, generally, he'd presumably like that to happen - but it'd still be a kind of insane request for him to make right as he's being literally rescued from hell. (Especially since, even though the audience & Charles can both see the rescue as so in-character we might take it for granted, Edwin clearly didn't, if his consistently surprised confused & appalled reactions to Charles being there are anything to go by). I think he's feeling very loved already at that point, and I have a hard time believing desperation to simply have that reiterated is what drove him to speak up at such an inopportune moment.

I think what he's really saying there is "Hear me" - and as a listener and a confidant, Charles does anything but reject him. Maybe it's splitting hairs a bit, but if the distinction between "please don't turn me down" and "please understand the person in front of you" matters anywhere, it's in relation to Charles' response because he is so accepting of the confession as a confession. Not only does he take what Edwin tells him well, despite it being the sort of thing that might rock the foundation of the most important relationship in his existence, he also accepts the fact that Edwin is in such a vulnerable and worked up state that he has to do it right now despite it endangering them both. Charles would, truthfully, be totally justified in mostly ignoring it or passing over it quickly and inconclusively, insisting that this wasn't the time or place - but instead everything he says and does in that scene is geared toward giving Edwin's announcement the attention & understanding he needs so badly - and that includes responding with honesty about his own feelings, even if they might not otherwise be exactly what you'd want to hear after declaring your love for someone. Charles takes his time (perhaps foolishly, but certainly necessarily) and gives Edwin a response that is warm and familiar, while also being kind, affectionate, open, serious, and above all correspondingly worthy of the weight of the thing Edwin has just entrusted him with. That seems an awful lot to pass over simply because he doesn't also happen to be in love with him too.

Edwin's confession is so not a come-on that whether or not Charles reciprocates the romantic element is, at best, secondary to his overall reaction, and using that piece of it to call the whole thing a rejection feels like a very inaccurate shorthand to get in the habit of using as a summary of his role in the scene.

[yaespook]

Canines.

✧ Room Content: Dom! Top! GN! Werewolf! Reader x Sub! Bottom! Wriothesley, no gendered terms used for reader, reader has a cock with a knot, oral (reader giving), snowballing, rimming (reader giving), gratuitous mentions of spit, muzzle and leash with collar used on Wriothesley, knotting. Leave a note if anything was missed out. ✧ Retrieved Notes: [The bottom paws of the fortune cat appear on the front desk.]

Getting a new rookie transfer under him this late into the year wasn’t exactly what Wriothesley was expecting.

His office door opens abruptly but you seem almost as bewildered as he is at this surprise. No biggie, the issue is sorted out quickly and seeing that you don't have any case files or inmate registration papers on you (or any sort of personal records at all for the matter), he runs through the essentials before sending you off with a list of duties. 

He watches as you leave his office, you'll undoubtedly be an interesting case to handle.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Wriothesley finds you nice enough to be around during work. You're considerate and you work hard to get your job done. It's pleasant to have another regular familiar face beneath the depths and he's not above sharing his tea with you during your shared breaks. And growing closer, he asks you to box with him.

“Just some training, for fun, that's all.” He's lounging in his chair and cracks an eye open to gauge your reaction. “Feel free to say no if you don't want to. I won't die from the rejection.”

Wriothesley is assured in his combat skills, given his experience in the ring and his daily training. So how is it exactly that he's found himself in this position? 

Dragging out the spar by starting off defensive, dodging his attacks, it seemed as if you were going easy on him.

“Come on, don’t tell me you’re going easy on me?” He throws a series of hooks and a particularly forceful uppercut.

But he wasn't interested in winning this friendly battle, he wants to see what you're truly made of. Hence, kicking it up a notch, he doubled the speed of the punches he's throwing, forcing you on the offensive. 

“You’re asking for it, Wrio!”

He's caught off guard when you start reciprocating and meeting him with the same speed and intensity in your attacks. Sure, your footwork and pivoting could use some work, but there's something surprising in the force behind your punches.

It ends when you manage to wrestle him into a headlock, the both of you sweaty and panting, his head pressed against your chest as he's suddenly aware of how close the two of you are. Tapping twice on your bicep hooked around his neck, he admits his defeat this time around. Freed from your restraint, he takes the time to massage his trapezius muscles as he gives you a once-over. 

“That was a good one, another next week?” 

You cough, “I think I’ll need more than a week to recover,” your tone sheepish.

It’s not often he’s beaten during spars, and for a rookie like you to do so? Extremely interesting. What exactly is your background? The secret to your seemingly supernatural strength? Since this incident, he’s found himself drawn to you even more.

However, keeping an extra vigilant eye on you means that he picks up on the smaller things that might be signs. The next Friday, you clock in later in the day, missing your shared tea breaks with him, and you clock out far earlier than usual, evident from the little note you leave at your desk when he looks for you.

“Sorry Wrio! Something urgent came up!”

He quirks an eyebrow up at this. What could have been so urgent that you had to leave immediately? Are you alright? Glancing around, he notices a bag left on your chair. Perhaps you left it here in your haste while leaving, but what if its contents are important to you? No matter, he'll see if he can pass it to you after work, it's a good chance to check up on you too.

But since you aren't around for the rest of the day, Wriothesley has strangely discovered that he's getting through his mundane paperwork and administrative duties a lot slower than if you were present. His brows furrow as he sighs to himself and sips his tea alone before continuing his work.

By the time he's done wrapping everything up and leaving, the full moon is already high up in the night sky. When he tears his eyes away from it, he spots you out of the corner of his eye. Though he would call out to you, your behaviour is suspicious, slinking around the shadows sneakily as you try to stay hidden. Wriothesley decides to tail you, just to make sure that you don't get into any trouble that he'll end up having to sort out. (And that he's also worried about you.)

His guard is up when you step into a wild forested area. The dim moonlight breaks in through the leaves of the canopy area, just enough for him to make out the ground beneath him. He watches where he steps in order to avoid generating any noise that might alert you but the second he looks back up for you, you’re nowhere to be seen.

Uneasiness starts to kick in. Wriothesley is uncaring of all the ruckus he’s making while rushing past trees and brambles as he scrambles to search for you. The thorns scrape and tear at his clothes but he pushes on, launching into high gear.

However, the deeper he gets into the forest, the more Wriothesley begins to notice things going terribly wrong.

There’s a heavy presence lurking amongst the dark shadows, one that has its eyes trained on him, watching his every move. Lumbering footsteps echo throughout the forest around him, as if getting closer and closer to his location. The sound of twigs nearby snapping sharply and the rustling of dry bushes. Trying to get to a better lit area within the forest, the chase is on.

He’s being hunted.

The vegetation begins to thin out slightly as he skillfully weaves between trees and he reaches a clearing. Catching his breath, he surveys his surroundings, keen eyes looking for any signs of movement. The moon hangs overhead, sharing its pale light.

And from the treeline, something pounces.

He stumbles back at the sudden impact, the wind knocked from his chest as he collides with the ground, eyes clenched shut. A beat passes before the weight on him suddenly lifts and he hears a gravelly yet oddly familiar voice, “...Wrio?” 

Forcing his eyes open, he finds himself at a loss for words. 

“I’m so so sorry. I assumed you were some kind of hunter stalking after me and…” your words spiral and trail on but he can’t seem to process anything you’re saying since he’s preoccupied with taking in this sight of you.

In this form, you’re a lot taller than he is and your physique is nothing short of intimidating. Is this where your impressive strength comes from then? Raking his gaze over your body, he pauses at your flexed thigh muscles from holding yourself above his pelvis. (You could crush him between them and he’d die a happy man.)

Your fur gleams under the moonlight, captivating him as a gentle breeze ruffles through it. By the time he tunes back into your spiel, all he catches is you saying, “I’ll make it up to you-”

“Make it up to me?”

“Yeah?” 

“Fuck me then.” He sees your ears shoot up as you try to gauge whether he actually means it and he tacks on, “I’m being serious. Plus no one will find us here, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Fine, but pipe up if I’m too rough on you.”

A grin stretches across Wriothesley’s face at your agreement but it’s quickly replaced with a hiss when you drop and grind your dick down against his. Leaning forward, you have him completely pinned beneath you, your body heat and larger frame on his is simply dizzying.

“I’ll give you some kisses to start, hmm?”

He watches as your maw opens wide, showcasing your sharp teeth. He can feel your canines on either side of his face as you lick at his lips but there’s enough trust between the two of you that you won’t clamp down, your fangs gently grazing his skin. You wouldn’t hurt him after all.

You bury your snout in his neck, taking in his scent as the both of you grind against each other, a snarl leaving your throat as you feel how hard and soaked he’s getting under you. 

“So wet, Wrio. Are you that desperate?” Shifting and sitting up to strip him of his clothes, he chuckles as he replies, “Only for you.”

Taking off his shirt, you let out a low whistle at the man before you. His broad shoulders, salt and pepper chest hair on his pecs, the body hair and healed scars littered throughout, and not to mention his lovely happy trail up till his naval. Truly, a sight to behold.

Getting him out of the rest of his clothes, you nudge his legs apart and settle between them. Compared to your looming stature, Wriothesley gets a sense of how much smaller he is when your hands grasp at his thighs. (Or are they paws? Whatever. As long as they treat him real good tonight.)

Tracing the tip of a claw down his inner thigh, you watch him shudder, eyes widening as you get closer to his drooling cock.

“What? Already so turned on by me hunting you down and a little grinding?” You tease and a heat rises to his face, retorting, “Shut up.”

You bury your face closer in, snuffling as you lave a rough warm stripe against the underside of his length, the taste of his precum on your tongue. His legs clamp down slightly on your head when you do so and it’s apparent that he’s enjoying your attention on him. Almost as if he wants you to devour him whole.

Changing tactics, you shift your focus to enveloping the underside with your tongue before taking him into your mouth, careful to watch your teeth. The heat engulfing him has Wriothesley groaning loudly, his hips bucking into the warmth as his restraint starts to slip.

“Mffph… so good-!” He throws an arm over his eyes, more clipped moans escaping him while you swirl your tongue, working him to his peak.

But just when he’s about to tip over the edge, you let him out of your mouth, panting as he watches a thick strand of saliva stretch from your tongue to the tip of his dick.

“Hah… Why did you stop?�� Sitting up on his elbows and supporting a frustrated scowl on his face, he looks laughably similar to a kicked puppy.

“Patience, dear Wrio, you’ll get your recompensation in due time.”

Moving one hand to his cock, you pump up and down languidly, aided by the copious amounts of precum and spit. His head spins when he feels you tonguing and lapping at his balls, your hot breath hitting the sensitive skin there.

You dip further down to lick at his rim, peering up to observe his reaction. And it’s amusing. His hands fly to grab at your shoulders, eyes shot open as his chest heaves.

“You liked that?” When he nods, that’s all you need to continue.

Manoeuvring him and hiking his hips up, he yelps at the shift but it quickly tapers into a moan as you press your tongue flat against his rim. You don’t stop stroking his cock as you slowly breach his hole, gingerly prying him open. Wriothesley sucks in a sharp breath at this and grinds down on your thick tongue, forcing it deeper, the pleasure in him building and spiking.

It’s not long before he’s spurting onto his tummy with a drawn out moan, walls clenching down on you and his hips stuttering up with his orgasm. Detaching for a second, you lick a long way up from the base of his dick to his dripping tip and his heaving abdomen, collecting his cum on your tongue.

“Open your mouth, Wrio.” And when he complies, you let your tongue hang out of your maw, a mixture of his cum and his saliva sloppily dripping from you and into his mouth. The ravenous look he gets when he swallows sends a shiver down his spine.

“So good for me, Wrio. Let’s move on shall we?” You give him a sly lick on his cheek. “Can you loosen yourself up a bit more? Wouldn’t want to rip you apart when you take me.”

After coating his fingers in your slick spit, you watch as he preps himself for you. Gazing around, you spy your bag discarded to the side on the ground. 

“Aww Wrio, were you trying to bring me my bag I left?”

“Mmph yeah-! I was worried- ah! -about you,” he grunts out his answer.

You respond with a low pleased rumble, stalking over to your bag and rifling through it to find what you’re looking for. From it, you retrieve a set of a collar with a leash and an accompanying muzzle. To Wriothesley’s surprise, it’s in his colours, complimenting shades of reds and greys.

“I bought it impulsively earlier today, thought of you while doing so. I think I’m in some sort of a rut,” you explain lowly, your eyes level with his and he feels as if he could be consumed with your gaze alone. 

Licking the shell of his ear, he can feel your breath fan across his nape as you continue, “Because of you, Wrio, no doubt.”

“Put it on me then,” there’s no hesitation in his voice when he says this and a satisfaction fills him when he sees your tail start wagging.

Carefully, you latch the collar around his neck, making sure it’s comfortable for him before moving on to fixing the muzzle on him. Finally, you attach the leash, the clip sound completing the set. 

As you take in how utterly delectable your Wrio looks for you right now, a filthy sense of pride rises up within you. You, a beast, managing to twist and warp and transform your human’s visage into one akin to yours, to have him leashed and muzzled as if he were the one with piercing canine fangs and a monstrous secret. And that he doesn’t cower or tremble with fear when pinned beneath you. It’s all too deliciously sinful.

The end of the leash is held in your claws as you eye him down. You manhandle him onto his fours and you line the tip of your cock at his hole. 

“I’ll take it slow, tell me if it hurts,” your head presses against his rim as it gradually pries him open, the wind is punched from his chest at your thick girth. Slowly sinking into him, Wriothesley’s vision spins as you split him open on your cock, the stretch an intoxicating one that has him wanting more. 

When your tip nudges against his prostate, he’s left seeing stars, a debauched moan slipping from his lips.

“Ughk!? Is it- hah! -is it all in?” You shush him, ghosting your claws on the skin above his arched spines.

“Just a bit more, you can take it, can’t you, Wrio?” An uncharacteristic whine rips from him when you finally bottom out in him, flush against the back of his thighs as you reach unfathomably deep in him.

You give him time to adjust to your size before you start moving, setting a relaxed pace to begin with. He squeezes down on your cock as you roll your hips, unrestrained noises escaping him as all sense is fucked from his mind. 

Picking up the intensity, you pull out halfway before slamming back into him, positioning your tip directly at where his prostate is while tugging on the leash.

“Hngk-! So big- AH! Fuck!” Wriothesley’s eyes roll back into his head, mouth hanging open.

Your repeated motions have him going crazy, his arms wobbling at the brutal onslaught of pleasure before giving out, the only things keeping him up are the knees folded under him and your hand clamping around the side of his hip.

Seconds blur into minutes and he doesn’t even know when you’ve started pounding relentlessly into him. Your thick shaft drags against his walls and he can feel every vein and twitch of your cock. 

Sensing you pulling on the leash, he turns and looks up at you, letting you see the drool dripping from his parted lips in the muzzle, his eyes unfocused and glazed over with nothing but raw lust. You give him a lick on his cheek, a kiss, before you fold your body over his, completely pressed against his back, pinning him beneath your massive frame.

“I’m close Wrio,” cooing into his ear again, your gravelly voice brings him back, “Want me to knot you?”

He babbles pitifully, “Uh- uh huh! AH! Yeah-! I- I want you!”

“You’re really asking for it now,” growling at his mindless pleading, you drive your cock in, a guttural howl leaving you as you climax, finally knotting your Wrio. The knot at your base stretches Wriothesley out even more and he can feel your cum filling him up inside. The searing pleasure causes him to pull taut, his back arching as he orgasms again, moaning as he tightens up around you, milking you for all you’re worth. 

The forest clearing is filled with the sounds of the both of you panting as you recover, checking in with Wriothesley to assure that he’s alright. While you wait for your knot to go down, you take the time to free him from the muzzle. The second you do, he leans in and presses a kiss to the tip of your snout, a lazy grin hanging from his face.

“Hah… I think you’ve made it up to me,” a glint in his eyes, “Another round next week?”

[> You add a muzzle, collar, and leash set to your collection.]

Thank you kindly for reading. Consider supporting on kofi if you enjoyed this or visit the other doors.

[another-lost-mc]

obey me x pokemon au: the great mammon wants to fight!

summary: when you decide to become a pokemon trainer, a familiar face from your childhood decides he's going to help you by not helping you. or that's what he tells himself, anyway.

featuring: mammon x gn!reader

content: sfw (suggestive towards the end). follows the vibes of generation one except they're adults and, y'know, not children. "rivals" to lovers trope and so many clichés. tbh this is mostly mammon challenging reader to pokemon battles instead of talking about his feelings. wc: 1.6k+

Mammon is there when you choose your first Pokemon and he boldly declares that he's going to be your rival. Apparently, it's going to toughen you up and you should be grateful. When you admit you've never battled before, he embellishes his own track record hoping to impress you. (It doesn't.)

"Your first challenger is the Great Mammon! You better be ready to cough up that prize money!" He summons a low-level Pokemon similar to yours, but your Pokemon has a type advantage over his and it's almost a landslide victory in your favour.

He scoffs when you seem surprised by how easy that was. "You’re lucky I wasn't trying that hard. The next time we meet, I won't hold back!"

He just happens to set out for his own adventure the same time you do. At one of the junctions just outside of town, there's a very clear fork in the road: left or right. You think he's going to follow you, but when you turn right, he pointedly goes left. You wish him luck but he doesn't look back, and your mood deflates a little. It would've been nice to have company for a journey like this, but you carry on and accept it might be a long time before you see him again.

As it turns out, you cross paths with Mammon much sooner than you think.

For someone who claims to be your rival, it's weird how often you run into him. It's too convenient that Mammon shows up exactly when you need help the most. He teams up with you whenever a pair of trainers tries to gang up on you, or when you wander into an area with Pokemon far stronger than your own. Your Pokemon learn to fight in sync with his because they spend so much time together.

No matter how many times you ask, Mammon refuses your offers to officially join you. Sometimes he shows up out of the blue to challenge you to a battle. Other times he shoves a bag of supplies - usually spare Pokeballs and potions - into your arms and takes off again.

For most of your journey, Mammon's not far behind you. There are a few times he beats you to your destination. It’s a rare treat when you arrive at the next gym in time to watch him battle against its leader. He gets flustered when he realizes you're watching from the sidelines, but his Pokemon preen under your rapt attention. His team's gotten a lot stronger too.

If you're last to challenge the town's gym leader, Mammon waits for you outside and drags you into another battle. You're not sure what he's trying to prove, but you reluctantly accept his challenge and defeat him once again.

He doesn't usually have much prize money to give you when he loses. You refuse to take the small amount of gold he has in his pockets. He's your friend and you don't even want his money, but that just seems to irritate him even more. He denies loudly and vehemently that you're nothing more than his rival.

You think losing would hurt less than the sting of his rejection.

Contrary to what he says, your not-a-friend keeps traveling the same path you do. It would be cute if he wasn't being so stubborn.

Your dream of becoming a Pokemon Champion draws closer with each gym leader you defeat. You fasten the shiny new badge from the eighth and final gym leader to your jacket, but your excitement is short-lived. There's a familiar figure waiting for you on the outskirts of town, and he's wearing all eight badges too.

"Mammon, do we have to keep doing this? We've come so far. I really don't want to fight you anymore."

But he just smirks and plucks a Pokeball off his belt. "How are you gonna beat the Elite Four if you can't beat me?"

It's a close battle - the closest one yet - but you add another victory to your winning streak against him.

After the dust settles (literally), Mammon storms away. You heal your Pokemon with some potions first and you heal his too. None of the Pokemon pick up on the tension between you and Mammon. In fact, they all play together like they weren't just locked in a feverish duel a few minutes before.

You look over your shoulder and spot Mammon under the shade of a nearby tree. The scowl on his face is unwelcoming and you decide to give him his space. You assume he's stewing in the disappointment of another defeat. You could say "I told you so," but that would probably make things worse. (And you don't want to make things worse.)

Besides, even if you asked him, Mammon wouldn't be able to tell you what's wrong. He watches his Pokemon flock to you for attention and you feed them berries from your satchel. Was it the fact that you beat him every time he challenged you to a battle? He's always been a sore loser. Or was it the realization that he wasted so much time being your rival when he could've just been your friend instead?

"I wonder if you ever needed me at all," Mammon mutters to himself. His voice is too quiet for you to hear.

Eventually he returns but his mood is indiscernible and you don't know what to say. By the time you're both packed and ready to leave, the bitter expression on Mammon's face is gone. He runs his hand through his hair, glancing at you from the corner of his eye while his cheeks darken slightly.

When he's not too busy being your rival, you think that he can be very charming.

"How do ya feel about goin' up Victory Road together?" He holds his hand out to you stiffly. "Y'know, safety in numbers and all." His expression softens when you immediately place your hand in his. He laces his fingers with yours and you both pretend neither of you are smiling.

You make it through Victory Road, but the playful banter between you fades into grim anticipation when you finally reach the steps of Indigo Plateau. You both sign up to challenge the Elite Four at the reception desk before you lose your nerve and run back out the door.

There must not be any other challengers because Mammon's name is called almost immediately. He looks as panicked as you feel; there's so much left unsaid but not enough time to say anything at all. When he passes through the door without a word and it slams shut behind him, you feel like you're going to cry. Regret sits heavy in the pit of your stomach but all you can do is wait.

It feels like an eternity before they finally call your name, and Mammon still hasn’t returned.

You try to push thoughts of him away so you can concentrate on battling your opponents and their formidable Pokemon. Adrenaline surges through you and your hands tremble each time you summon a new Pokemon to your side. One by one, you come out of each battle victorious. It feels like luck rather than strength or skill that's gotten you this far because your potion supply is dwindling. Doubt clouds your mind each time one of your Pokemon is knocked out but the third member of the Elite Four finally bows to you.

The battle with Lance, the final member of the Elite Four, is absolute chaos. Your Pokemon suffer the merciless onslaught of his powerful dragon-types, the likes of which you've never seen before. Somehow your team barely manages to secure your victory, but it's still too early to celebrate.

There's one more challenger waiting for you.

When Lance accepts his defeat and moves aside, you step into the next arena to face off with the region's newest Champion.

“Yo! I was wondering how long you were gonna keep me waitin’!”

You gape at Mammon who waves to you from the Champion's podium. He looks so happy to see you that you break the stunned silence with a sigh of relief that bubbles into giddy laughter.

He tosses his first Pokeball into the air and catches it again, over and over, while his confident smirk warms into something more teasing. "C'mon babe, it's just you 'n me at the top of the world. Show the Great Mammon what you've really got!"

Both your teams fight like they've never fought before. It's a knock-down-drag-out battle that shifts back and forth between your favour and his.

When your last Pokemon is the only one remaining and the battle is won, Mammon jogs across the arena to you. He hands you a bag filled with more prize money than you know what to do with. "I owe ya from all those times before, don't I? You deserve it. Besides, I got most of it from those losers back there."

He nearly loses his balance when you throw your arms around him and give him a hug. It only takes a moment for him to wrap his arms around your waist and melt against you.

"So, Champion," he murmurs, brushing his lips against your cheek with a smile, "how about we find somewhere to grab dinner and celebrate?" 

The next morning, Mammon looks far too devilish with his messy white bedhead hair and starchy hotel sheets draped loosely across his hips. You're not sure you'll ever want to get out of bed when he looks like that, but when your tummy rumbles with hunger, you bashfully suggest getting up.

Mammon waggles his eyebrows and slides an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. His very thoughtful suggestion is staying put and eating a breakfast of champions instead.

(He holds up his hands in mock surrender after you hit him in the face with a pillow, and he agrees to go out after all - once you give him one last kiss, of course.)

read more: obey me x pokemon au masterlist | obey me masterlist

[freyjhasdesiredreality]

The Witch and The Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

(Credits to GIF owner)

A/N 1: Hey guys! This has been in my drafts for so long. Although it's only 2.1k words, there is so much going on in this story, so I basically thinking about making this a serie. But instead of a complete serie, I'm thinking something like a sitcom. Like it's a world that you are the main character but every part will have a different adventure, I hope I'm clear lmao let me know what you think please!!

A/N 2: These events happen between Civil War and Ragnarok. They pretty much happen at the same time but I changed it a little so it could fit what's in my mind! So basically Ragnarok will happen later after this story. Okay? Okay!

A/N 3: Please bare with my grammar mistakes, English is not my first language!

WC: 2.1k+

Warnings: Mention of trigger words, Bucky being depressed, mention of HYDRA, let me know if I missed any!!

Bucky and Steve landed in Wakanda, relieved to be in a safe haven after their harrowing escape from the US government. Steve had told Bucky that he had a friend in Wakanda who could help him get back on his feet, and now it was time to make good on that promise.

Even though, Shuri ensured them they can help him, it was obvious it was going to take a lot of time. Meanwhile he would need to be put in cryo. Steve didn't want that. He didn't want to see Bucky suffer any more longer.

"No other way? Are you sure about that?" Steve asked Shuri.

Shuri knew Steve was worried about his friend. "I'm sorry Captain Rogers, I'm afraid I can't work as fast as I can with a fully functional brain. It needs to be calm so I don't do any mistake."

While Steve considered his options, Bucky was trying to convince himself everything would be okay. It was not HYDRA, he was in Wakanda and after he was put in cryo, he would wake up as a different man.

"I don't trust myself Steve," he said with a broken tone. "If it's the only way, I accept what it requires."

Steve knew that look. He wasn't sure so he didn't just want to accept and then it hit him. "What if I said I know a friend who could actually help us? She is a powerful witch and extremely experienced. I'm sure she would accept to help you," Steve said, hoping he would accept.

"Why would she want to help me?" Bucky asked, sounding even more hopeless.

"You'll understand when you see her."

-

You, Y/N Odinsdottir Heladottir, were one of the strongest witch in nine realms. You didn't have a father. Your mother Hela, created you from the souls that Asgard lost during battles and Yggdrasil gave you life. You became the goddess of reality. Your powers were raw and unlimited, that's why Hela wanted to train you as fast as possible so you could be a strong warrior among her side for the throne. After Odin banished Hela from Asgard, he took you as his own daughter and Frigga announced you to Thor and Loki as their sister.

Loki adored you immediately. He knew you were special and promised himself, he would do anything to protect this little angel that is his new sister. He could feel your magic. He made a mentally note to train you when you grow up.

-

"I think, she is the goddess of reality, which I don't know what it means, but she was trained to read and control minds. I don't exactly know the limit of her powers but she is a strong one Buck," Steve said hoping he would calm down a little.

"You said she can read minds, I don't want a stranger to see horrible things I've done. What if she saw them and refuse to help me?" Bucky said panicking. He had a chance to get rid of his past but the thought of being rejected made him anxious more than he already was.

"I tell you she's not like that, don't you trust me?" Steve seemed a little heartbroken.

"Don't get me wrong, I knew we were best friends, brothers actually but I don't exactly remember those days Steve. I don't feel that kind of trust just yet," Bucky admitted and just wanted to slap himself. "Why the hell I said that, what is wrong with you? Now he won't help you," he thought.

"Just say yes and she'll be here in no time I promise. I always keep my promise, Buck."

"Okay. I-I want to meet her."

-

"Look I'm not an expert on Asgard but we look like bunch of punks, Steve."

For the last 5 minutes, Steve were yelling your name to the sky, hoping you would hear and come. While he was trying, T'Challa approached to them.

"There is a woman in Shuri's lab, asking for you Captain Rogers. She said you called her," the king said, trying to hide his laugh. "She came from the sky, I thought you brought war to us," he joked.

"I would never do that your highness," Steve laughed. "Come on Buck, let's not keep her waiting, she is a little impatient."

"Is that why we have been yelling to the air last couple of minutes?"

-

"Your technology is impressive comparing to the rest of the world!" you cheered when Shuri showed off her gadgets to you. You both immediately got along well. She spilled the beans about why Steve called you. You suggested to do everything together with Shuri, using your magic and her technology.

"Thank you, thank you princess Y/N. Your magic is quite killer as well," she smiled widely. "Oh, here comes the white boys!" she called.

"I feel like we always meet in extreme circumstances," Steve smiled and hugged you tightly. "How are you, Y/N?"

"I've had better days, unfortunately we lost Loki a while ago, during a war," you said trying to hide your pain.

"We didn't have great memories with him but I know you loved him, I'm sorry for your loss," he patted your back.

You looked behind him and saw a brunette overthinking about everything and a chaos in his mind. You didn't want to just invade his brain but his thoughts were extremely loud so you wanted to help him. "Hi, I'm Y/N," you offered your hand to shake which he gladly took.

"I'm Bucky," he said nervously. He was sure you were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. You blushed lightly and when he realised, he was sure you read his mind. That made him blush too.

There was a thick tension between you, you were sure Shuri and Steve were trying to hide their laughs but you didn't care. "Shuri told me why you needed me, so when do we start?" you cheered, looking at Bucky with big eyes.

"You want to help me?" Bucky said, his eyes filled with hope. "Yes, of course Bucky! I'll do anything I can," you offered him a warm smile. He smiled back, already feeling better.

-

"You are in pain Bucky, I can feel that," you stopped with magic. Last few months have been hard on Bucky. He had to remember every single thing HYDRA had done to him and getting rid of those memories' chains. You didn't even made him remember what he had done to people but even this part were really painful to him.

"I can take it, please continue," Bucky nearly begged you. You were sure he couldn't take it anymore without going crazy so you wanted to stop a little until he feels better again.

"How about I tell you another story of my life in Asgard while you rest? I promise we'll continue then," you offered him a smile, put your hand on his shoulder to ensure him that you are here.

You've been doing this for a long time, whenever he felt overwhelmed, you stopped what you're doing and helped him relax while you told him stories about Asgard. You told him about the palace, the Valkyrie, your mom and dad, your brothers, Thor and Loki and Heimdall. He loved those stories. Every time you tell him, he learned something about you. You were so close with Loki and your mom, Frigga. Odin favoured Thor, that's why you always felt left out. From the colour you loved the most to the planet you loved to be in, he learned every little thing about you.

"That sounds good," he smiled back and laid down.

-

"Loki! Look how fast I am!" You shouted at your brother while riding a horse.

"Be careful my love, you might fall." Loki watched you closely. You were his soft spot. You were sure no one would love you more than he does.

"My children, it's almost time for dinner." Frigga called you both from balcony.

"We're coming mot-" he was interrupted by your scream.

"Loki!" His eyes filled with horror when he saw you crying on the ground, holding your knee. He ran to you so fast and leaned over.

"Hey hey, shh. Calm down pumpkin it's okay. I'm here, you're fine. How did you fall?" He smoothed you.

"S-she saw a snake and scared." You hugged him tight.

"I'll pick you up now and we'll see Eir, alright?"

"O-okay"

-

"And then father forbade him to see me again."

"But you didn't listen," Bucky laughed.

"Of course we didn't," you smirked.

-

"I want to see my brother!" You shouted with your lungs out crying.

"Thor is already here, Y/N."

"I want Loki!" you kept crying as loud as you can. You knew if you did your mother couldn't stand it anymore.

"Enough Y/N! I said you can't see Loki, he's dangerous! He couldn't protect you!" Odin shouted. You were shocked. Tears were flowing from your eyes but no words came out of your mouth.

"That's enough! You scared her enough. I'm taking her to her chambers," Frigga said to Odin, took you in her arms and left.

It didn't matter how much she soothed you, you refused to calm down. She could see you were exhausted but resisting to sleep.

"Oh my little peach, you really want Loki, don't you?"

You nodded your head vigorously, still crying. Frigga gently brushed your hair and wiped away your tears.

"I understand how you feel, my love. You and Loki have a special bond, and it's not fair for Odin to keep you apart. But you must trust me when I say that he's doing it to protect you," she explained softly.

"But why does he think Loki is dangerous?" you asked, sniffling.

"Your father has his reasons, but I believe that Loki is not the monster that Odin sees him as. He's your brother, and he loves you very much. I promise you, we will find a way to make things right."

Frigga held you close until you finally fell asleep. The next day, she called for Thor and told him to bring Loki to her chambers. When he arrived, she sat Loki down and spoke to him.

"My son, I know how much you love each other with your sister, and I can no longer stand to see you separated like this. Y/N is heartbroken without you, and I think it's time that you to understand the gravity of the situation," Frigga said, looking at him sternly.

"Odin believes that you are dangerous, and he's afraid that you might harm Y/N. But I know that you would never hurt your sister. However, you must promise me that you'll never put her in harm's way. Do you understand?"

Loki nodded solemnly, "I would never hurt her, mother. Ever," he felt offended a little. Frigga smiled at him.

"Good. Now go and make up for lost time, and be sure to never let anyone come between your bond as siblings."

You ran towards Loki as soon as he stood up, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. Loki smiled down at you, and you knew that everything was going to be alright.

"No one is strong enough to break our bond, my little princess."

-

"You really liked Loki then," Bucky asked, feeling a little jealous but covering it with a smile. He knew he shouldn't be jealous, Loki was your brother after all. But he kind of wanted that bond with you, maybe even more. He wanted to keep you on his side, protect you at any cost. Even though he knew, you were perfectly capable of protecting yourself, even more than he can but it didn't matter to him.

"You don't have to be jealous Bucky," you laughed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to read your mind, it's just, you were thinking too loud and I thought there was a chaos going on in your mind," you said blushing.

"It's okay and I-uh," he sighed, trying to collect his words. "I just like to spend time with you, I mean you are so good to me and you know I- I would like to spend more time with you, other than just you helping me with this trigger words. You know, ma-maybe we could go to beach and watch sunset like that," he couldn't believe himself and how he couldn't just shut up. He looked away, he didn't want to see rejection in your eyes.

"I think that would be lovely, maybe you'll tell me your stories in 40's? I shouldn't be the only story teller, should I?" you grinned cheek to cheek. Seeing him relaxed after your answer made you even more happier. "But first, let's get through with this session, shall we?"

"We shall, doll."

A/N: Like and reblogs are appreciated! Let me know if you want more of this series!

[mobumi]

I have to admit that I'm kinda disappointed in Bucchigiri so far, but at the same time I want to see more 'cause the setting and the designs are really cool. Even the story could be interesting if it's done right. I've seen all the discourse with Arajin and as much as I love my boy Matakara I've realized something.

Matakara and Arajin are actually very similar but Matakara is just done better. Let me explain.

Arajin's goal: lose his virginity

Matakara's goal: become a Honkibito

Arajin's obsession: Mahoro/ girls

Matakara's obsession: Arajin/ become Honki people with him

Mahoro shows no interest in Arajin, broke his love stone but Arajin still believes he has a chance. Meanwhile, Arajin avoids Marakara, rejects him and still Matakara believes in him and holds on to his stone.

They both don't let go and pursue the person they like in some ways.

Matakara is as obsessive as Arajin, but his character is more fleshed out. He has a social circle with good friends. We have a backstory with his brother, so there's someone important to him other than Arajin.

He doesn't only use his strength for selfish reasons like Arajin but to protect his friends or the Minato Kai gang.

There's mystery surrounding the shadow in his room, we don't know what will happen to him. That gives the audience some anticipation and keeps its interest in the character and his potential.

I don't think people don't like Arajin because he's flawed. Matakara as sweet as he is has flaws too and other characters on the show as well. Sen'ya for example is shady af and doesn't tell Arajin everything and keeps stuff from him, so not everyone is a saint. And it's not because of bad writing or anything, it's just the way it was intended to be.

The intent here is to subvert expectations. I was surprised at first that it didn't go the way I thought. First, the harem trope is completely different from what we're used to.

- The mc pursues a girl but mostly men are after him, every gang leader wants him on their team because they think he's really strong. So they completely change what people expect of the harem genre.

- Mahoro is not the typical cute and innocent girl the mc usually falls for. She's ruthless, a brocon and doesn't hesitate to manipulate people to get what she wants. That makes her interesting because she's really not what she seems and is similar to Arajin and Matakara (her obsession with her brother)

- Arajin is not the typical shonen prota with big morals or big dreams (the "I want to become xx" type of hero), he doesn't want to be strong or anything significant other than losing his virginity like a normal teenager, and that's the joke. You expected something else? No, we get a pathetic mc who's most likely going to surprise us again just to break our expectations.

We're not supposed to root for Arajin, I think he is a tool to tell a delinquent story in a new kind of way. His character is annoying but I think it's on purpose and he's going to be useful somehow. How? Idk time will tell.

The process is not enjoyable right now and that's fine that people feel that way, but I think it's going to make sense at one point or another as to why Arajin acts like that.

I've seen some people not understanding all the criticism he gets, but I think it's fair criticism, judging that Arajin is not the type of character you would root for. While we know he's going to change it still seems like a long way, especially when you just don't care about the mc or you don't find him interesting in any way. That got me thinking that this is exactly how we're supposed to feel about him, at least for now. Arajin's not supposed to be a likable character so I'd say it's working. it's all fine because for once it's different, this is not what we expect of a shonen protagonist, so it's interesting.

I've also seen people say that Arajin has some development and I'm not sure about that. Sure, as the story progresses and he's getting more and more in a mess, Arajin's reactions have more range, there are some elements here and there that show us he cares about some things. But his attitude remains the same. And I think something bigger has to happen for him to actually break out of his character.

We've seen how he reacted to Akutaro's speech about Mahoro. It demonstrates that he can get mad for someone else, but he left Matakara tied up in a basement and doesn't get mad for him at all. We have a whole flashback with him feeling guilty for leaving Matakara and he has no remorse doing it again because he's not his priority. Something bad is going to happen so Arajin will finally snap out of it and pay attention to Matakara and realize his behavior was not okay. I hope that's the course of action at least or I'll be really disappointed. Arajin is not a good mc and that's cool, it's not groundbreaking but different. That being said, it has to mean something in the story and I haven't seen that yet.

So yeah, I'm not giving up on this anime and I'm looking forward to see how the story will unfold!

[xiaomainlmao]

For those, who's heart I broke… (various genshin x reader)

Angst, no comfort

Summary- Things that they do, or happen between you both, in a situation where they like you but you don't reciprocate their feelings.

A/n- May feel like a small vent, but here are various genshin characters as some things that my admirers did around me, even though I never liked any of them.

T/w- Uncomfortable behaviour, unrequited love, guilt tripping

----------

They were forced to admit they liked you in a game of truth or dare, and they saw it as an opportunity to bashfully announce it, trying their best to look cute.

Albedo, Xiao, Diluc, Keqing, Ayaka, Nilou

They made it very obvious they liked you, saying things like they'd be a good boyfriend/girlfriend to you.

Childe, Kaeya, Hu Tao, Kaveh, Itto, Heizou, Lisa, Venti

Would either shamelessly or very shyly flirt with you, maybe even getting a little too touchy, and shake it off as "this is how they are with friends in general".

Childe, Hu Tao, Heizou, Kaveh, Kaeya, Fischl, Lisa, Venti, Ayato

But you knew, and the problem was, you didn't like it. Even if they didn't openly admit it, you knew how jealous they got. Every time they saw you hanging out with a new friend, they'd eye you. If it were someone of the same gender, they may try to shake it off but still feel jealous, trying to deny that you might be on the lgbt spectrum. But if they're of the opposite gender, oh boy. Their jealousy didn't limit to them being either the same gender as you or of the opposite. They just want you.

And they'll always, always try to get you to be the submissive one, because they love you so much they want to pamper you. Maybe, seeing how much they care, you would fall for them?...

Would play/watch/listen to things you like, whether it be an anime, a game or a song, they'll try to find out exactly what you like. After all, that's how people are with their crush, right?...

Some would openly tell you, and look genuinely interested and make you talk just so they could know more.

Childe, Yae Miko, Heizou, Bennett, Hu Tao

Some would be a little quiet, but they try to bring it up in your next conversation.

Tighnari, Albedo, Layla, Ei, Diluc

And some would try to be even more discreet by involving their friends as well.

Cyno, Al Haitham, Xingqiu, Yelan

But it's too obvious.And once you straight up tell them no...

"I hated how you liked talking to my best friend more than you liked talking to me."

"You were jealous."

"Jealous? No I was depressed."

Like bro that doesn't make sense?? It's pathetically obvious how they're trying to blame you for their issues, just because you didn't reciprocate their feelings.

Childe, Xiao, Cyno, Ganyu, Diluc

"This is why people are so intimidated to talk to you."

"You don't get to comment on my lack of friends."

"What I mean is, you're so pretty and hot but your eyes itself spew rejection, how could people not be intimidated by how you look?" They don't look at you as they say this, instead they're looking behind you, at the person who's staring you up and down, proving as a testament to their statement.

Tighnari, Keqing, Kaeya, Childe, Albedo

They proceed to avoid you after that. One month... two months and then, the third and last month of your school. After that, the last day of school. They've avoided you for three months, surely one day is nothing right?

"Hey yn! Can you take a pic for us? Thank you!" Your common friend asks you, and when you go with them to take their picture, you see them. They tense up, and their friends are teasing them about how you both could be an inseparable couple. Your common friend poses with them, a smirk very obvious on their face, trying to tell you that it's your fault that you're "missing out".

But you don't regret it, nor do you care in the slightest. Not after seeing how uncomfortable they could make their crush feel due to their own, irrational obsession with you.

After all, due to those situations, you're aware that you know them better than your "common friend".

----------

A/n- These situations actually took place irl. I was just thinking about it since school's over and it sounded a lot like a story so here we are. I just needed to get it out somehow lol, especially since some of the things they told me were rather... weird. Valentine's day is a good day to post this haha.

(Also, Childe is highlighted in orange here bc I see him as a ginger lmao)

[heartshapedbubble]

HIHI!! Dunno whether the birthday reqs are full but would it be too much trouble to ask for hcs of Edgar & Andrew having a crush on the reader (basically they're both crushing on the reader at the same time)?? I'm not sure whether this counts as jealous 'n stuff but I'm really sorry if it does & you can ignore this request !! 👍👍

HII SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!! i think this passes juuust underneath the line for jealous stuff so i'm up for it :]

putting a cw just in case bc andrew wants edgars ass DEAD lmao

edgar valden and andrew kreiss having a crush on the reader at the same time hcs🎨🕸

edgar valden🎨

jealousy is not something new to edgar, in fact, he knows it very well - his crush on you was heavily toned down and controlled, him making sure you don't notice him blushing or seeking physical touch, but his jealousy is going to throw him off his rocker and cause him to be very obvious and clingy

edgar generally likes to be a bit snobbish/braggy about his paintings and skills, but when he realizes you might get with andrew instead despite his talent he's going to become very worried. his jealousy unveals his number one weakness - someone being better than him. he was always number one in both his parents' and his mentor's eyes, being their precious little wunderkind that could provide them with a masterpiece with the flick of his wrist, and now all his talent is in vain because of someone who can't even compete with him? bullshit!

he doesn't show jealousy and doesn't like to admit it, but he'll often be passive agressive and make snarky remarks here and there. the most that it will come to (after days and days of edgar questioning both himself and you) is him directly asking you what exactly do you see in the anxious, clumsy gravekeeper

to combat this and try to win you over, edgar is going to be asking you out more frequently, even better if it's right in front of andrew, secretly scribbling sketches of you when you aren't looking, asking you to pose for his paintings, even giving them out to you for free - you'd be asking yourself if this is the same edgar you knew before.

although edgar does become immature and needy during this period of time, at the end he'll have to accept the truth if the case was you picked andrew over him. but if you chose him - oh man, where could he even begin? he'll make sure he gives you the best treatment he could provide to anyone ever

andrew kreiss🕸

andrew is such a horrendously bad liar that it's laughable. his crush on you can't even be considered a rumor spread around during the manor tea parties - it's something that the entire oletus manor claims as a fact. it even reached the hunters' side, which occassionally asks him the infamous question during the games to make him lose his balance and become a sweaty, blushing mess

when he finds out he's not the only one admiring you romantically, it awakes a flurry of mixed feelings inside of him. at first, he's hopeless, he's already dealt with collective social rejection and shame that it can't even phase him that much. but at the same time... you're not like them, are you? you treat him with such kindness and care, you couldn't possibly do that.. oh, but look at edgar! everyone admires his art, he's truly a virtuoso in the making! how could he compete against him? it's best for him to give up immediately..

oh, but wait. he could always yank him away during a match, hide his trusty shovel behind his back and....

yes, i'm being serious. andrew would 100% contemplate killing edgar. not being accustomed to any kind of social cues, it's simply the most logical solution for him - you just eliminate the obstacle. it's as easy as that. yet, is this what you'd truly desire? would he kill for you? in a moment of desperation the answer is yes, i would kill for them, but once he realizes what he's doing he's going to stop immediately, shocked by his own train of thought. he's definetly horrified of losing you, but his anxiety will make his fear sky rocket and come to such drastic conclusions.

to appeal to you he's going to become a bit more keen on initiating affection, and you might notice that the bouquets he makes for you became bigger and started arriving to your front door more frequently... he's just doing any little thing in his power, already knowing he's no match for the manor's quick-witted painter

if you choose edgar over him, he'll just take a deep breath and move on. it might be a burden to him for some time, but hey, it's not like he hasn't dealt with similar situations before. yet, if it's him you desire... he'll cling onto you for eternity, showering you with all the love he could ever give to somebody

[renaultphile]

Hi, Dear. I just have finished TC. Though so much underlying I cannot quite understand well for English is not my first language, I love this story！！！

But likely owing cultural differences, I don't get why Ralph so cares about Laurie's “sorry, dearie, some other time” from delirium, which I consider as only kind of banter. What's wrong with these words？Are they rude or implying someting？ Hope to get this answered🥰🥰🥰

Thank you so much for this ask @yitwosirui .  I think it is such a clever way of telling us so much about the characters.

I believe the short answer would be that this is definitely on the level of mild banter, not particularly offensive or rude.  But it is a rejection and a gentle put down.  So, in the context of Laurie being just a Corporal, and Ralph a Lieutenant and Captain of the ship it would be considered inappropriate because of their rank and also because of the context and the implications.  In general Laurie’s response would suggest that he thinks/or is pretending that Ralph is making sexual advances, so on that level and in those times it would be considered offensive given he is a man!  Well that’s my reading anyway!

So I think the various possibilities that really puzzle Ralph would be:

Laurie is delirious and confused and thinks Ralph is making sexual advances but doesn’t recognise him.  But he seems to be gay and sexually experienced.  Good news on one level, but then he is rejecting Ralph and doing it in an embarrassing way. 

Or, all of the above but he doesn’t recognise Ralph.

Or, he recognises Ralph, understands the situation and is making an affectionate little in-joke that only Ralph will understand.

Or Laurie knows perfectly well that Ralph is trying to help him but chooses to make a bitchy and embarrassing comment, whether or not he recognises him.

Or, Laurie it not actually gay but he knows that Ralph is and is suggesting that Ralph is gay and predatory.

Reg covers everything up by making it into a joke that Laurie thought Ralph was a woman and I’m sure Ralph joked about it to his ship-mates in the same way.

So on one level, there is no real harm to Ralph – he can cover it up by saying Laurie was delirious, thought he was a prostitute, or whatever, and it is obvious to all he was not trying to sexually assault him!!  In a way the only thing that would give him away would be his own reaction.

So why does he go on about it so much?

I think he must be so desperate to find out that he forgets how intensely embarrassing the whole thing must have been for Laurie (more embarrassing than for him!)     He brings it up within minutes of meeting again.  But embarrassment is the easiest emotion he can appeal to, otherwise he would have to admit that he had feelings or that he was hurt, or wondering about Laurie’s sexuality.  So in a way he is trying to find out information while not revealing too much himself.

The other thing is that when he talks about writing to Laurie he says he ‘couldn’t be sure’ and that he wanted to ‘settle it’ – the first things that seem to motivate him are that he wasn’t sure what Laurie meant, rather than any more general feeling of ‘Wow I just saw Laurie again I must reach out!’  That feels very like Ralph, always needing to know exactly where he stands.

I don’t know if that answers the question, or makes sense!

I’m struck by how much they talk about this, but never breathe a word about what happened in the study.   Pretty intriguing!!!!

I have a couple of personal theories relating to this too:

I recently thought about the way Ralph dismisses Laurie from the study, which is very abrupt, whether he intends it or not.  And I thought in a way ‘Sorry Dearie’ is the ultimate revenge seven years later!

I see the obsession with that incident as foreshadowing how Ralph will be at the end, because I think he will be obsessed with knowing whether Laurie read his letter or not…….

Thank you so much again – I have sent you a little ask of my own!

[loveydovey-leviathan]

Okay so I haven’t seen anyone do anything like this yet but here we go. We know Malleus, Lilia, and Sebek are faes. BUT, Yuu grew up with the superstition to NEVER EVER take ANYTHING from a fae. So the poor boys keep trying to give Yuu gifts and they’re just like “That’s so sweet but no, no thank you.” Until eventually they just spill that you’re not supposed to accept anything from a fae in fear that they’ll use it to gain more than what they originally gave, and Yuu also expresses that they already know their name which is also a fae dealing no-no.

.twst x gn!reader.

> i'll be doing this in hc format if you don't mind :] if you want it in drabble/fic form, just send an ask 👌

> this is written in a platonic context

.

MALLEUS

when he first came to you with a bracelet in hand, he was certain you would like it. it's simple and lightweight, gold looks good on anyone > and he asked lilia's opinion.

what he did't expect was to find you looking up at him awkwardly— eyes darting side to side like you don't know what to say.

eventually, after the tense moment of hesitation— you politely reject his gift.

he's confused at first, but he brushes it off and concludes that maybe you just didn't like such an expensive gift.

but when comes back to you multiple times to give you more— the answer is the same.

dragon boy is taking this super hard. do you not want to be around him anymore? or are you one of those people who feel like they "don't deserve" good things?

and then he sees one of your first-year friends giving you a gift, and he sees you accept it with no hesitation. no awkward rejection, no looking like you don't want to be there— just a smile and a thank you.

his chest starts to hurt at the sight.

but he's not one to give up. after watching you for a day and seeing for himself what you like; he's certain he's found the perfect gift: your favourite food.

he's teleporting to ramshackle with a smile on his face, absolutely sure he'll finally get to witness you accepting a homemade present of his with a smile.

so when he's at your door, offering you his cooking; he can't help but feel a bit angry when you still decline.

but most of all he's just hurt. have you grown afraid of him? has he already lost one of his only friends outside of his family?

thus he confronts you about it. he says he saw you accept a gift from a friend without faltering, and he wants to know why you don't do the same for him.

he's surprised when you blurt out the truth; the reason why you don't accept gifts from not just him but all fae.

but moreso he's grateful he's finally gotten an answer.

he's understanding with you, there are many stereotypes humans have when it comes to fae, and vice versa. it's one of his missions as future king to rid of those false assumptions.

from then on, he doesn't give you gifts unless you explicitly state that you don't mind. he's going to try and prove to you that all he wants is to be someone dear to you, just as you are to him.

SEBEK

he spent a lot of time choosing the very first gift he would give to you. it had to be perfect. you only have this moment once, after all.

after he triple-checked that it was to your liking (a plushie from an anime you like— strange but he won't judge.. too much), he excitedly walked to your mess of a dorm.

after all that giddiness, you can imagine his disappointment when you decline his present to you.

he was sure he got something you liked and really wanted, but he reluctantly admits to himself that he might've been wrong. he just has to make the next one better.

but that doesn't work either. every time he tries to gift you something, you politely decline.

at this point, he knew you must be playing some sort of stupid prank on him. getting these gifts aren't easy, y'know. and he's seen you accept stuff from other people just fine!

do you just... not like him?

he gets a bit sad at the thought, but before he mopes he wants to know exactly why you keep rejecting him.

he was expecting a lot of things when he confronted you; some were stupid, some were hurtful. but at least he would get an answer.

what he didn't expect was for you to blurt out an old stereotype about fae.

he goes red for just a few seconds before realizing getting angry about it would be hypocritical; especially since he's still unlearning the assumptions he thought about humans.

he honestly doesn't know what to do now that he's learned the truth. he supposes the only thing he can do is stop giving you presents and try to convince you that he isn't trying to make some sort of deal.

he's a bit rude about it honestly i've seen your life and i am not impressed but he hopes you know that it's his way of proving that he just wants to be treated and thought of like you do your other friends

LILIA

he's been watching you even before you knew who he was, so he was prepared for rejection when he planned to give you gifts.

he's hoping he might be able to change your mind about fae. it might be a slow process; after all unlearning what you've been taught when you were young takes a while.

so he figures if he gives you gifts and you see that he doesn't want some kind of deal with you, you'll trust fae more Ʌ Ʌ

whenever you politely decline him, he just gives you a smile and drags you to diasomnia to hang out.

this goes on for a long while, longer than he expected. so he figures if he asks you about it personally the two of you can work it out.

it's only when he hears you say it himself that he realizes he might've gone about this the wrong way. he was just making you uncomfortable most of the time.

so he tells you he'll stop giving you gifts. he's not offended, he's lived for so long that someone believing in fae stereotypes won't concern him at all.

he just hopes he hasn't completely destroyed any chance of keeping a friendship between both of you.

[senjuushi]

what would it take for gras (and some of the more emotionally constipated boys) to get more comfortable with letting master pamper them?

Gras

As much as he craves attention, soft things make Gras panicky and uncomfortable. You can get away with pampering him to some degree if you play into what's "acceptable" for him a bit, but a good portion of what gets him to tolerate the real thing is just proving that you're not going to reject or abandon him. Patience, forgiveness, and understanding are infuriating for him at first, but eventually, he'll start to trust you far more than he wants to admit.

Mikhael

For him, a lot of it is just plain trust. Beyond the disbelief that he deserves any kind of pampering, Mikhael has a hard time accepting that you're really just trying to be kind. But he's tired. So very tired, and enough persistence will eventually make him give in to the promise of rest. Physical touch is more difficult to tolerate than simple acts of kindness, so keeping some degree of personal space at first makes it easier to get close to him.

Murata

It's difficult to get him to allow much in the means of pampering, since it makes him feel far too vulnerable and reliant. Though it helps a little if he's seen you dote on Arisaka with no ill intent, Murata struggles to tolerate the same sort of thing directed at himself. The difference is subtle even when it does change, but what helps most is not making him feel weak. If he knows you won't point out what he's so ashamed of, trusting is easier.

Fal

For him, it's more of an internal conflict than your actions. Accepting that you don't need him to be perfect is a struggle, and all you can really do to show that you're serious is be patient while he tries to adjust to the new standard of expectations. Another factor that makes a big difference, though, is when his body just plain gives out under its own exhaustion. It's hard to resist pampering when he can hardly keep himself functional!

Love1

A lot of it depends on his own analysis of you and exactly why you're trying to be so nice to him. Love1 always calculates exactly what parts of himself he wants to show someone, so he doesn't accept things that make him vulnerable until he's sure he can trust you with his flaws. It's a long-term thing with him— consistent kindness does a lot to make him trust that you're serious, and not just playing at charity or waiting for a chance to take it all back.

[ineffablyruined]

In Defense of an Angel

I know this has probably been done before, but I'm working on a fic at the moment and found myself needing to puzzle out where I think Aziraphale is coming from in that last 15 minutes. He's catching a lot of heat in the fandom right now, even from me initially I admit, but I think I understand more after trying to put myself in his head. It got a bit long, so I've put most of it under a Read More.

We all generally agree that there was zero chance that the Crowley we all know and love was going to be allowed back into Heaven, right? At the very least, he would have been memory wiped and reset as the innocent angel we saw Before the Beginning, and at the very worst, Metatron would have permanently destroyed him before actually welcoming him back. I mean, this face isn't the face of someone who is going to just let Crowley come back to the fold, no matter what lies he's about to tell Aziraphale.

But, sweet summer's child Aziraphale, religious trauma and all, has no idea that the Metatron has exactly zero intention of letting Crowley accompany him to Heaven.

So when he says, "The Metatron said I could appoint you to be an angel," he means it. You. Not the angel you were. Not some innocent carbon copy from millennia ago.

He fully, completely believes Crowley will just be Crowley, but as an angel. He doesn't believe Crowley will have to change at all. And why should he?

Because Aziraphale is keenly aware that you don't have to be good to be an angel. Look at him. (Thanks to @saryasy for all the perfect gifs)

He's spent most of his existence being a terrible angel, just like Crowley has been an absolute disaster of a demon. They are cut from the same cloth.

And if the Metatron is going to make the angel who lies over and over again to God, to archangels, to himself, into the Supreme Archangel, then surely there's room for a demon who regularly engages in truly good acts as well, right?

And it's the solution to all of their problems. They will be on the same side, not just in their eyes, but in Heaven's eyes, and in God's eyes. They won't have to hide anymore, won't have to be so careful about admitting they are even friends, can be something more. Because now it won't be Romeo & Juliet.

They can be together. Properly together. Doing good the way they've always done, together. Importantly, without the risks! Crowley won't have to worry about retribution from Hell. There won't be any from Heaven because Aziraphale will be the Supreme Archangel and no one can tell him no.

And that's why he's so confused that Crowley's saying no. And he tries.

Because Crowley can't possibly understand or he wouldn't be saying no.

But then he does. He says he understands, that he understands better than Aziraphale does, and the answer is still no. He says no. And what can Aziraphale do with that?

He's been rejected. And there's nothing else to say.

Then it gets worse. Crowley points out, "No nightingales." And we can see that they both know exactly what that means. For Crowley to point that out and to kiss him after rejecting him feels, at best, manipulative and, at worst, downright cruel. Aziraphale just offered a safe way for them to be together, and Crowley wants no part of it if it isn't the way he wants it - just the two of them going off together - even when he knows and has been explicitly told over and over again that Aziraphale doesn't do running away.

And if Crowley is going to be cruel with his words and actions, then so can Aziraphale.

And he knows - HE KNOWS - what those words are. How they call back to the other times they've gone their separate ways. And he says them anyway. Because Crowley hurt him and he's going to hurt him back.

He's spent lifetimes reading books, collecting them, coveting them. Of course he can wield words as deftly as any weapon.

(Sorry for the emphasis there, but I'm particularly proud of that turn of phrase. I wrote it for a fic I'm working on and it's what made me do this whole thought exercise in the first place.)

FWIW, he then immediately regrets it when Crowley leaves. See this post highlighting all the times Aziraphale just keeps looking for him in the fallout.

[maxemilianverstappen]

"If you took away racing from either of them, Charles wasn’t sure if there would be anything left."

I saw this line in drivestraight's lestappen fic we go way back and since it also fits into my 2022 fic idea, I got inspired to write this:

"What do we have in common other than racing?" Charles asked rather cruelly, apparently taking a strange sense of satisfaction out of the way how colour rose on Max's cheeks and his eyes widened before he averted them for a second only for them to zero in on at Charles as he went on speaking.

"If we weren't drivers, we wouldn't even have met even if we'd live in the same neighborhood." He clearly believed into what he was saying, judging by the flippant way he was smiling at Max's put down expression.

"Even if we had met by some bizarre happening, we would have never seen each other again." He shrugged and leaned back onto his elbow, a picture of uncaring aloofness.

"You'd think I was snobbish, I'd think you are just some guy... What's there for us to do a double take at each other on the off chance that we'd ever met? Nothing..." He answered his own question with a finality to his statement that it took Max a moment to utter what was on his mind in a way he hoped Charles wouldn't just dismiss as if swatting at a fly.

"Well, you are handsome..." Max offered with all the honesty in the world, his voice getting a bit high pitched with nervousness, sorely aware of what he was insinuating. But there was no shame in admitting the obvious, so he went on. "And even though you'd think of me just as 'some guy', I'd certainly do a double take at you if I had seen you at the cafe on the corner or at the grocery store or at wherever we'd both frequented." He was practically confessing his attraction here even as he tried to act casual about his admission. But the way he wasn't able to keep the eye contact longer than a few seconds at a time totally belied his expectation for a softer and maybe a shier smile in answer.

But nothing of the sort came. "And you seriously think I would notice you the way you'd notice me..." It wasn't a question. It was a merciless let down.

Max blinked at the way Charles observed him with an emotion on his face that he resembled to disdain. Suddenly, it was so hard to swallow, so hard to just stand there and continue talking as if he wasn't being rejected in the most cruelest of the ways. He unseeingly looked at his gintonic glass and completely losing his joy, he put his drink back onto the bar counter where Charles was relaxing against just so he could do something.

"I... I know I am not that handsome." He accepted as he had done many times before, even in front of the cameras, jokingly calling himself much more merciless stuff. It was always easier to hear it first from his own lips instead of others saying that about him. He didn't care. He really didn't give a damn about his looks. It didn't hurt him as much as what Charles had just said about them having nothing else between them other than racing. Yet, Charles didn't even shake his head at his admission, not even out of courtesy and, wow... He really must have meant nothing to him other than being the current fastest guy that he had to beat to feel better about himself, huh...

"But... Why is it so hard to look at me the way I am, Charles?" He asked, head tilted a bit to the side, lips pressed together and hands pushed into his jeans pockets, uncomfortable just the way his heart felt in his ribcage. "Why is it so hard for you to actually look at this some guy?"

Why is it so hard to love me?

Charles visibly squared up his shoulders as if he was utterly bored, fed up even, but he never lost the eye contact with Max like one would scold a child. "Sometimes people just don't seem interesting enough, you know. Not exactly only due to their looks..." He pushed out his bottom lip and shrugged in disinterest as if he couldn't be arsed to even mull over why Max would even feel offended.

"I see..." Max was morbidly impressed with Charles' sharp and stone cold logic, eyebrows raised and face betraying all his disappointment in himself, in Charles, and in everything else. "So, my only merit is my racing craft." He nodded, matter of fact and as neutral as possible even though he felt sick in the stomach at the way Charles only watched him in silence, neither denying nor confirming. Well, silence was a sort of confirmation in and of itself, so...

He shrugged and dug his hands deeper into his empty pockets. "Don't know if I want to be a source of entertainment for you anymore, then." His face contorted into a show of mild disgust at the way this talk turned out, at the way he finally had seen some sort of emotion flitting across Charles' face for a second other than that icy merciless apathy. "But then again, you'll always find your entertainment elsewhere, right?" He figured in a deprecating manner, but didn't know what he loathed more: his love for racing and thus being a part of Charles' world or Charles readily agreeing with him.

"There are many other talented guys on the grid other than you and me, Max."

"Of course." Max agreed, too, smiling edgily with a bravado that he didn't actually have in him at that moment. "You go enjoy your mighty battles... Because I will win many more championships in the meanwhile." He derided, equally cold and cruel, wanting to hurt Charles as much as he had hurt him tonight, wishing he actually cared about championships more than how he believed Charles didn't give a damn about him as a person. He set his jaw and hastily turned around to get away from the other man and disappear among the party goers as soon as possible.

Charles watched him storm off and with each step Max took away from him, he deflated and lost a bit of his nonchalant and confident air. He turned back to the bar area, his shoulders slumped and his eyes losing all their fire. The glass of dry whiskey in his hand felt like a beacon of consolation; so, he chugged it all down in one swing and grimaced at the bitter punch that burned down his throat and settled in his gut like some nasty unforgivable sin. He pushed the glass away on the perfectly polished bar counter and the barman looked at him in question.

"Another..." He demanded, rubbing a hand over his face harshly. But as he watched the barman pour him the drink, he shook his head at himself and decided. "Leave the bottle here."

He was absolutely fucked. So, he might as well get wasted and hope to forget about the way he had just destroyed Max's heart. The dirty blond beauty that just sat beside him and looked at him with sea blue eyes might also help.

Yeah... That should just do the trick.

Max would eventually get over it anyway.

[itsclydebitches]

Ted lasso ask: Was Isaac avoiding Colin because of internalized homophobia, or bc he was upset he never told him, or was it a bit of both? Did Isaac attack the fan bc he was offended by what he said or to 'defend colin's honor'?

Ted Lasso ask woo!

Personally, I think it's an "All of the above" situation. In one of my previous posts I remember catching a tag arguing that Isaac isn't experiencing internalized homophobia, presumably because he himself is not gay and yeah, that's an understandable push-back considering that a) he's not out in the show and b) I never bothered to explain there my own thoughts on the possibility. The tl;dr of that is, "I think you can make a case for Isaac being queer based on his relationship with Colin, his intense reaction to realizing a teammate is gay, the potentially defensive nature of the anti-gay/'I'm totally straight, bro' jokes he makes - which, remember, Colin himself participated in as a kind of cover, raising the possibility that others are doing the same - and the reminder from Beard that more people in the locker room are queer than the three the audience knows about: Colin, Trent, and Will."

But to keep things simple here, let's just settle on, "Isaac has been homophobic." Whether it's internalized as he grapples with his own sexuality or not, Isaac has exhibited homophobic behavior in the past and, of course, after Colin's outing. It's not "Your conservative uncle spewing slurs and issuing death threats" homophobic, but just because there's a range in how homophobia presents doesn't mean it's not, you know, still homophobia. So that's something Isaac needed to deal with last episode. He's spent years making comments based in homophobia ("It's a little gay, isn't it?") and making assumptions about others presumed straightness (why in the world would Colin want privacy to delete those photos?), so when he's suddenly faced with the fact that someone he cares about is gay... he needs time to process that. Trent hit the nail on the head with his "give him a minute" line because not only do people need time when their worldview suddenly shifts like that, but it's a rare and joyous case where they react to that change solely with open-minded positivity. In Isaac's case, he used avoidance and anger as shields until he could come to terms with that change, significantly with Roy's help.

When Isaac says that he's upset that Colin didn't tell him I don't think he's lying... but I also don't think that's the entire truth. If this was only about Colin's trust in him then Isaac would have led with that from the get-go: seconds after he's taken Colin's phone it's, 'You're gay? Awesome! But man, why didn't you tell me? :( ' That obviously didn't happen. Trust is undoubtedly a part of Isaac's complicated feelings, but I think that only occurred to him after he'd come to terms with Colin being gay in the first place. Isaac had to accept that change in his worldview as well as this change in his perception of Colin and then, once he was in a place of, 'Yeah, yeah, Colin is my friend and teammate, of COURSE I accept him' he's able to go, ]Wait... why didn't he tell me??' and that anger becomes the next shield. By and large, people struggle to admit to their mistakes and they really struggle to admit to something as hurtful as, 'My homophobia was so deeply ingrained that unfortunately there was a moment where I wasn't sure I could get past that.' Once Isaac DOES get past it and it becomes unthinkable to him that he would have ever rejected Colin over something like who he's attracted to... it becomes that much harder to remember/acknowledge that, for an undetermined length of time, Isaac did exactly that. Don't talk to me (ignoring direct peace offerings). Don't touch me (removing his hand from under Colin's in the team pile-up). You're an easy target for my frustrations now that I know how freakish you are (screaming at Colin during the match). Isaac's homophobia was deep enough that it made him incredibly cruel for a time, so when he grows out of that of course he's going to struggle to admit precisely how cruel he was. So he doesn't. Isaac apologizes, but it's still deflected with this not-entirely-accurate justification of, 'I was mad you never told me.' Which doesn't make Isaac a bad person, it just makes him a person, period, with flaws and contradictions and the chance to improve.

All of which I think applies to the attack on the fan. Why does Isaac lash out like that?

Because he's still overcoming all the homophobia he's learned and he sees an accusation of being gay as the ultimate insult to his team

Because he may be struggling with his sexuality himself, so an accusation directed at him is even worse. It's not just that it may touch a nerve, but that anger is the only way to protect himself here: become enraged so that everyone watching - teammates, coaches, fans, the press, the world - knows that you're DEFINITELY not gay. That's unthinkable. That's impossible. That's worthy of an attack because to brush it off would be to implicitly suggest that being gay is okay and that's just one step from admitting that maybe you ARE gay. The fact that Isaac's dialogue is centered around, "What did you call me?" is one of the reasons why I personally read him as closeted/potentially not having questioned his own sexuality yet.

Because it wasn't actually a 'You're gay' accusation but a slur hurled by someone who is (presumably) not a part of the community and therefore has no right to reclaim it.

Because even while he struggles to accept Colin, Isaac still loves Colin so yes, there's that element of defending his honor.

Because his anger is reaching a tipping point and this attack - perfectly tailored to push the very buttons he's trying and failing to ignore - is what causes it to boil over.

So Isaac is complicated (because he's a well-written character!) and thus for me it's "All of the above." Personally, I LOVE that the episode's final scene didn't have Isaac suddenly being a Perfect Ally now. Not only is he asking a ton of questions that, while understandable, would make a lot of queer people uncomfortable af, especially given that they highlight Isaac's continuing biases (Colin is a very good friend for giving him the nonjudgmental space to ask all that), but he's also unable to say "I love you." What exactly does that mean? Perhaps that Isaac's residual homophobia won't let him say that to a man, especially a man he now knows is gay. Perhaps that the toxic masculinity he's grown up around - which is intimately tied to the homophobia - won't let him say it as a man, a black man, a man in a position of authority (note that Isaac is not there when the others scream Sam's, "I love you guys so very much!"). Perhaps it means that there is an element of internalized homophobia and Isaac can't say that to any man yet, let alone one he might be attracted to. Perhaps it's, again, all of the above. It's up to interpretation, but the takeaways is that of course Isaac loves Colin - he's eager to ensure Colin knows that in his own way - but the environment he's grown up in and his own personal struggles won't let him say the words yet. That's okay. Colin recognizes that it's okay, just gently pointing out that Isaac can't say it and silently encouraging him to continue working on that, regardless of what reason - or reasons - it's difficult in the first place.

[nellie-elizabeth]

8, 10, and 15 for Malex for the OTP asks?

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

I feel like they probably knew of each other vaguely once Michael was back in Roswell and they were at the same school, but they don't have like... a specific memory of the First Time they saw each other. But Alex probably had this vague sense of Michael as an outsider, maybe even knew he was poor/didn't have parents, and didn't really think much about him more specifically than that at first. Then I picture one day people are giving presentations in class and Michael stands up and pulls something totally brilliant, and Alex suddenly notices how smart he is... and he's so cute, too...

And then Michael thinks of Alex as Liz Ortecho's friend, whatever, but then does a double-take and starts noticing Alex when he shows up to school with a septum piercing for the first time. And then he's like hmmm okay I've gotta get this guy's attention somehow...

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them

"It wasn't exactly your finest moment," Alex says with an eye-roll. "You were supposed to be my rescuer and you left me chained to the radiator."

"Oh, come on!" Michael says, indignant. "I accurately assessed the degree to which you were going to be an idiot and run straight for danger if you were free--"

"Says the guy who ran full-tilt towards my father holding a gun at Crash-Con."

"Yeah, after you confronted him first. I'm only stupid after you've been stupid. My stupidity is actually the inevitable consequence of your own bad decision-making."

Alex raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Sure, yes, it's definitely all my fault."

“I didn’t exactly have any other choice. And besides, I’d done exactly what they wanted. I didn’t think they’d hurt you.”

“Mm,” Alex says, vague and quiet. He stares down at his hands, and Michael’s no longer sure the degree to which they’re joking about the ridiculous circumstances of the past, or if this is actually bothering his husband, all these years later.

"Hey. I really would have come back for you," Michael says, a little more gently. "You know that, right? Always.”

Alex looks up, a smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. “Yeah. I know.”

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

I think an actual genuine trait that Michael dislikes in Alex is the way he shuts down and turns really cold and logical during an argument. Alex is getting better at it now that they're together, at actually accessing his feelings and expressing them, but for a long time he'd shut down and make it hard to get to the actual core of an issue, and that makes Michael feel rejected and like his own emotional reaction isn't being respected/taken seriously. He also wishes Alex would admit when he needs help more readily, although Michael has gotten better at giving him the space to feel comfortable being vulnerable.

And I think Alex probably finds some of Michael's frugal habits from his years of housing insecurity to be frustrating. Like, Michael always wants to keep doing things the way he's used to, because it's "fine" that way, and Alex doesn't like having to convince him again and again that they can afford something a little nicer and more convenient. Getting Michael to buy and use suitcases when they go on trips instead of just using garbage bags. Or spending extra money on a nicer item of clothing that will actually last longer.

I also think when they first start cohabitating they move each other's shit around a lot? Michael is trying to consolidate/make sure he knows where important things are located at all times, and Alex is trying to tidy up, and they're both constantly like "where tf did you put my shit" lmao. They get better at it after a while.

But in all the ways they clash, they both take their relationship super seriously and have learned to talk through and find solutions that work for both of them.

[goldenbloodytears]

If you feel up to it I have a lot of random questions that I would like to know about Danny and if you comfortable Sam.

The questions beeing 1, 2, 3, 12, 13, 16, 24, 27, 33, 37, 42, 43, 46 and 49. Please feel free to discard any if they are too many or spoil something.

-Mx. 👍

Canon I outright reject

Honestly... I don't actually think there's a lot about Danny's current canon as stated by BHVR that I reject--I think the closest is maybe the fact that he hates satire/parody... but that's not so much due to dislike rather than that I have trouble wrapping my head around it. Comedy and Horror are two sides of the same coin, and as a somebody who likes absurdist gallows humor I find it personally hard to wrap my head around.

2. Canon/Headcanon hill I will die on Bisexual Danny is the hill I will die on. If his sexuality were to be confirmed one day.... no it ain't! 3. Answered this one in another ask, see it here.

12. See above.

13. Dumbest thing they've ever done Falling in love with each other… otherwise Plot Spoilers :)

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves For Danny... I don't know if it's a secret exactly, but I genuinely think he is deeply alienated from the idea that when he was a child he likely wanted to be more than a killer. Sure, he was fascinated by his dad's war stories and drawn to horror... but I think if he could have a talk with his 8 year old self, little baby Danny would not say "Oh boy I can't wait to be a serial killer!" I don't think he's really prepared to face the concept, and as such, this sense of betrayal at how his life has gone is buried very deeply in his subconscious and it’s giving him stomach ulcers. For Sam, I honestly feel like it's a bit similar. She knows to some extent, but fights against the idea that she's a bit of the odd duck in her family. She doesn't know how to wrap her head around the concept of a mother who loves her and wants the best, but doesn't really like her or 'get' her. Slightly related, but the concept that she knows that she's failing spectacularly to look for people who genuinely appreciate her for her.

24. Most annoying habit

With Danny, I'm kinda tempted to say that he talks a lot... except I feel like he's got to be a decent listener to be of any use. I think his most annoying habit would genuinely be that he comes off like a blowhard who likes to hear himself talk when discussing something he knows a lot about. So it's not so much that he talks a lot all the time, but rather that he will steamroll you with info... which might come off as him thinking you're stupid.

Sam also tends to do this behaviour, and is the person who will "Well, actually" you when you say something wrong. The only difference from Danny is she's more likely to argue about it, where Danny is more likely to drop it and quietly seethe about the debate. Unlike Danny, she's not necessarily trying to prove a point (up until someone doubles down on being wrong) but rather that she likes sharing trivia.

27. their guilty pleasure I think Danny's guilty pleasure is getting to sleep :')

Sam's guilty pleasure is music. She's used up a lot of her paychecks on cassettes and cds. She also likes detective fiction, and as a child read the entire series of Nancy Drew detective novels (1930-1979).

33. something guaranteed to make them cry

For Danny? Honestly I think he's borderline an angry crier. He's got it on lock so as to not actually cry, but just general stress is enough to get him close. He very much will go into a bathroom and slash his face with water while trying to calm down (and probably thinking about violence while he does it). He's going to resist crying at a sad movie even if it kills him. Sam gets teary-eyed pretty easily too, but she's more open about it when in places where it's expected--like at a sad movie or a funeral. She very much cries at funding commercials for local pet shelters.

37. what they really think about themselves

Danny thinks he's great, pay no attention to the fragile ego hiding behind the curtain. Basically, where Danny's ego is wrapped up in attempting to hide his insecurities from himself and others, Sam's ego is somewhat wrapped up in tearing herself down. It kinda sucks for everyone around them if they're both in a depressive funk because they both need external feedback to counterbalance it.

42. three comfort items Danny: his vcr player, his pocket knife that belonged to his grandpa, his bug-out (escape) bag. Sam: Her walkman, her tape recorder, the original 56 hardcover novels of Nancy Drew with multiple dog-eared pages.

43. three favourite foods and three they despise Danny loves shepherd's pie, Texas sheet cake and coca-cola. He hates olives, beans and wieners (together), and blueberries.

Sam loves cheesecake, hot dogs and poutine, and will devour les oreilles de crisse like no tomorrow. She hates ketchup chips, canned tuna and bananas that are either too ripe or not enough.

46. The person they most admire

Danny is drawn to men that remind him of his father aka very masculine archetypes. It’s hard to find someone who will outright replace his dad, it’s probably borderline impossible without a lot of therapy work… but he lowkey admires his boss at the paper, something he shares in common with Sam. O’Reilly just gives off big Irish dad energy, he can’t help it.

Sam lowkey thinks of O’Reilly as a father figure, not that she would admit to it. It helps that he was dating her aunt at one point, and said aunt was also the closest thing Sam had to fitting maternal figure.

49. Favourite toy as a child

I don’t actually have any real answer for this one at this point. I feel like I will have to do some more research into 1960s-70s children toys, it would be nice to have something a little more specific than “generic gendered child toy” bc they definitely had lots of those each.

For Sam, it’s maybe not her favourite toy in the sense she got to play with it a lot, but she has a porcelain doll that she’s kept into adulthood despite the fact it has a cracked and reglued face in a way that makes it look kinda wonky. It was a gift from her mom, which proceeded to get broken by her younger brother Robby, but when Joan went to throw it out Sam threw a fit instead… so the doll got repaired, but on the condition she’s now a display doll, which she proceeded to be for the next 20 years.

Thank you for the ask!!

[transzilla]

On modern art

Art isn't really any material thing, it's more like our behavior, our reaction, what we do to make art possible. There's a time and a place for a banana taped to a wall, sure, like on your mom's fridge. When you're taking up space at an art museum and people are pissed because it looks like shit, sure, it's art alright, you made it. So is anything. you can be pretentious and act like they don't get it all you want but art is the participation. Like you're under fire too, if your expression is tasteless and crass you kind of asked for it showing people, you can embrace it or cry about it. If you tried and put effort I'd feel bad and give encouragement but drawing one line over the middle of a canvas... You see the same exact shit everyone else is seeing, you're not fooling anyone putting it in a fancy museum. You're not Michelangelo. So don't pretend like you are.

Michelangelo's David is a fucking rock that looks like a person. So what. I pulled a carrot out of the ground and it had two legs and a dick and nobody cared. People lose their fucking minds because of the skill and dedication that a person put into it, his whole life spent mastering different arts on different materials, banging his head against the wall against rejection because he wanted to impress people. And he did! Love is real! Progress is real! He did it!

There's a time and a place for making shitty art! Shitty art can be respected, it can be understood. We all start out like shit. Nobody should rip you down for making shitty art, maybe you're just doing it for fun, maybe you don't want to be Michelangelo, you're just trying to make it through the day and that's fine. But shitty art shouldn't be honored. Especially, above anything, if the intention is what's shit. If the message is trash, if a piece of shit person made it, the art is trash too, maybe you're trash for enjoying it. Like stop sucking Kubrick's dick, he's not a "twisted genius", he's a misogynist that loves rape scenes. Criticism is necessary here.

Plus, you shouldn't celebrate shitty art for being shit. Like I know all ya'll trans people love folk punk, they all say the same thing, I like it because it's bad, that's the point. How the hell are you going to be so pretentious and gatekeepy over music that you admit is dog shit? Bad music is awesome when you're down to earth and you're making friends and getting better together, observing and celebrating progress and community. You compete in a race where you make the most mediocre music, you're going to win, real fast. Folk punk isn't even bad in a way that's so bad it's really funny, some music I'm impressed because it resembles music but it's so offensive and obnoxious that it really isn't. Nah, it's the same shit over and over cause if it doesn't sound exactly like this it's not folk punk, the same ukelele riff and talking about having anxiety. If you're gonna be an egotistical city boy hipster and act like your shit is so much better because it's mediocre, the first person interested in skill and progress is gonna eat you up like nobody's business.

But hey, at least you're not pretending like you're not mediocre. It's a huge risk trying to find skill and make good art. If you shoot for the moon, and land in a huge pile of shit, it hurts that much more than if you just wanted to jump and play in that pile of shit. Sure, you can embrace shit. Play in it all you want. Maybe eat some of it. But are you really that wrong for wanting to land among the stars?

Our ultimate expression of art is our identities and our ego. We make it all up. The art is the artist, it's also the people observing. So what the hell kind of shit are you going to make?