#switch remus

[resident-gay-bitch]

It’s on the more mature side too, sooooo 🤭🤭

[nicolinocolino]

you're telling me one them is top of the class and the other is a prefect? sounds fake but okay ....

[moonstruckme]

James Potter x Reader where reader is in a different house (Hufflepuff if you don’t mind) and she ends up on the receiving end of one of their pranks which makes her angry so she avoids James and the other marauders, forcing him to grovel/beg for forgiveness? Thank you so much xoxo

Hi, thanks for your request! This got a bit long haha, but I enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoy reading :)

cw: mentions of blood

James Potter x Hufflepuff!reader ♡ 1.8k words

Though no one tells him it’s happening, Remus sees the prank coming from a mile away.

Primarily, this is because James and Sirius appear to be playing an entirely ordinary game of frisbee. Just tossing it back and forth, no hexes or nifflers or anything. A simple pastime between two boys on a lovely warm afternoon. 

Secondly, they haven’t asked Remus to join them. While they know from experience he’s content to read his book in the grass, they always make a point to ask just to be sure Remus doesn’t feel excluded. The fact that they haven’t suggests that they’re well aware that whatever they’re up to, Remus will want no part in it. 

Lastly and most importantly, James Potter has the worst poker face Remus has ever known. 

When the curly-haired boy slyly drops the frisbee they’ve been using into his bag, trading it for another, he can hardly keep the giddiness from his face. Which is probably why, when he tosses it well away from his companion and towards a crowd of gathered students, Sirius is the one who has to say, with theatrical volume and distress, “Merlin, can somebody grab that?”

Remus watches warily as several students turn to track the progress of the disk as it sails overhead, and after a moment one breaks away, chasing after it. Remus feels a pang of sympathy for you, your yellow and black scarf flying behind you as you run, needing no further evidence than the eager look in James’ eyes to know that you’ve fallen for a trap. 

You jump up to grab it out of the air, beaming in triumph for a moment before a yelp escapes you. You flings your catch to the ground, cradling your hand as the fanged frisbee twitches and snarls at your feet. 

“Shit,” he hears Sirius breathe, and the excitement is gone from his and James’ expressions as they jog over to you, Remus standing to follow them. 

You pick your head up as they approach, eyes wet but fierce. 

“What the hell?” you snarl, and Remus realizes with a stab of concern that there’s a small puddle of blood forming in your palm. “You’ve begun targeting your stupid pranks at anyone who’s dumb enough to help you now? How’s that funny?”

Remus looks at his friends in bewilderment, aggrieved on your behalf but unable to believe they’d do something so cruel. The fanged frisbee—a cheap trick, which really should be banned in Remus’ opinion—twitches closer to your ankle, and Sirius flicks his wand at it, its teeth retracting as it goes silent and motionless. 

“We…I charmed it so its teeth would be dull and harmless.” James scrubs a hand through his hair, at a loss. “It was only supposed to scare you, not hurt you.” 

You shake your head at him disbelievingly and bite your lip, face reddening as the pain sets in. James steps closer to you, blocking you from view of the small crowd of gawking students, none of whom, Remus notes with some bitterness, have come to help you or see if you’re okay. 

“I’m really sorry,” James says softly. “Let me help.” But when he reaches for your hand, you step back, holding it close to your chest. 

“Just leave me out of your fun in the future, yeah?” you hiss, stalking inside. 

James looks pained as he watches you go, and though Remus doesn’t begrudge you your justified anger, he feels for his good-natured friend. It had been an honest mistake, though the cost turned out to be far higher than either of his friends had expected. But knowing James, he’ll find some way to make it right. 

“Sorry, mate. They can’t all be winners.” Sirius claps him on the back, and Remus knows his light tone is more to make James feel better than it is true carelessness. Sirius is loyal that way; he’d probably lock you in a broom closet rather than have you upset James again. 

“It wasn’t meant to hurt anyone,” James says quietly.

Sirius’ smile is unfaltering, though Remus spies the worry in his eyes. “She’ll get over it. C’mon, there’s still time to go into Hogsmeade if we hurry.” 

And though Remus hopes you’ll feel better soon, he knows it will take James a long time to get over it himself. 

James shuffles from foot to foot, feeling silly and anxious as he waits for someone to leave the Hufflepuff dorms so he can go inside. He’s fairly sure you’re supposed to have potions together, but you hadn’t shown up to class, and though James had kept an eye out all day in the hallways, he’d never spotted you. He’d thought he’d caught a glimpse of you in the great hall during lunch, but you’d darted out of sight before he could be sure, and then there’d been no sign of you at dinner. Luckily, it had only taken a quick consultation of the map he shared with his friends to find out that you’d holed up in the Hufflepuff common room, so here he was, draped in his invisibility cloak and fidgeting like a nervous date at your front door. 

The door creaks open, and James slips in before it can shut, the exiting Hufflepuff shivering slightly at the breeze he makes whisking by them. It’s not difficult to spot you where you’re sitting painting your nails, lips pursed just slightly in concentration. The common room is mostly empty as other students enjoy the nice weather outside, and James is grateful for the privacy as he takes off the cloak and goes to sit beside your feet where they’re stretched out on the couch. 

You look up at the intrusion and startle to find James, pulling your feet closer to you reflexively. He hopes it’s an instinct to make room for him and not to protect yourself from him, though given recent events he could hardly blame you for the latter. 

“What’re you—how did you get in here?” you ask, eyes darting between James and the door in bafflement. 

Never mind that. “You weren’t at dinner,” James says, holding out his small stolen dish of chicken curry, “so I thought you might be hungry. Sorry, it’s barely warm now.” 

You take it from him suspiciously, careful of your wet nails, and James feels a stab of guilt at the sight of your bandaged hand. 

“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” he goes on, throat burning with shame. “I know I’ve already said it, but it was supposed to be harmless. I wasn’t careful enough.” 

You don’t look at him, not rejecting his apology but not quite accepting it either. “Pomphrey fixed it good as new anyways, so we can just say it never happened.”

James appreciates the attempt to ease his conscience, but your kindness only makes him feel that much more villainous. This would be so simple if you were one of those pureblood gits, or even just a bit ruder, but you’re you, and that’s so much worse. 

“Can I see it?” he asks softly, and you hesitate only a moment before scooting a bit closer and extending your hand to him, palm up. 

James unwraps the bandage with care, keeping one eye on your face to ensure he’s not hurting you, and so he notices the faint blush that colors your cheeks as he cradles your hand in his. The last layer of your dressing falls away, revealing three tiny white scars. Though they’re healed over, he hisses in sympathy, drawing your hand further towards him protectively but forgetting you’re attached to it. 

Your inhale is soft as you lean forward awkwardly, and James huffs a laugh at his enduring idiocy. “Sorry, love,” he says, letting you lean back. He doesn’t let go of your hand, though. “Were they deep?”

You give a one-shouldered shrug, as though it’s nothing to you. James worries you’re putting on a performance of exaggerated blasé for his benefit. “They bled a lot, but a charm sealed them up quickly enough.”

James nods, remembering with sickening clarity the blood that had pooled in your palm and dripped from between your fingers. 

“I’m glad,” James says, and it doesn’t feel like enough. Nothing feels like enough. But he can’t stop himself, even if it’s all inadequate. “I’m really sorry.” 

You sigh, and James knows enough about you to guess that being upset is exhausting you. It isn’t in your nature; you’re someone who always has a kind word for everyone, who he’s seen lend your quill to a student that forgot theirs and offer them an understanding smile when they broke it, who would rather spend all day avoiding James than let him feel the wrath of your grudge. 

Your very warranted grudge, by the way. 

It’s terrible luck that someone as sweet as you was on the receiving end of his mistake. But, as you’d pointed out, that was how the prank was designed, wasn’t it? Though James and Sirius hadn’t thought that part through at the time, the victim was always going to be whoever stepped forward to help. Normally it might not matter, but they’d gotten so caught up in the excitement of trying out their new toy that James had somehow gotten the spell wrong. And as a result, you’d been forced to pay a price for your kindness and his incompetence. 

“It’s okay,” you say.  

“It’s not,” James insists. “And I can’t fix it, but let me do something else. I can do your potions’ homework for the rest of the year, I can give you my dessert every night, I can…I can sneak into Hogsmeade and bring you whatever you want, anytime you ask, I can…what?”

You’re smiling at him, and it’s familiarly lovely but, James can’t help but think, entirely undeserved. 

“I don’t need any favors from you, James,” you say, and he realizes it’s the first time you’ve said his name. It’s not a long name, but somehow your voice gives it a cadence he quite likes. “Just be more careful, okay? I ended up fine, but next time someone might not.” 

“There won’t be a next time,” he promises swiftly, and means it. “But sweetheart—” if he notices how you soften at the endearment, he doesn’t mention it “—you’ve gotta let me make it up to you somehow.”

You sigh again, though it’s lighter this time, seemingly both exasperated and amused by his persistence. After a moment spent within your own head, you ask, “Could you help me study for the potions exam next week?”

“Yes!” James grins eagerly. “Of course. That’s a start. How’s tomorrow after class? I’ll bring study snacks as well, and we can make it a regular thing, if you like.” 

He’d like to make it a regular thing, debt or not. 

You smile. “Tomorrow is perfect. And can I call in another favor right now?”

If James weren’t sitting, he’d buckle at the knees in relief. “Yes. I’m at your service.”

“Can you tell me how you got into the Hufflepuff common room?”

“That,” he says smoothly, “is just one in my arsenal of skills now at your disposal.”

[delimeful]

in sickness and in health (8)

warnings: captivity, arguing, remus talking about remus things, panic, gratuitous amount of puns, lmk if i missed any

-

“What’s going on?”

The impromptu staredown between all three humans was interrupted by Roman hurriedly leaning obnoxiously far over the counter, bodily blocking Patton’s view of the two borrowers.

“Patton!” he blurted, clearly aiming for a casual air and instead landing somewhere in the realm of ‘stewing in blatant panic and guilt’. “Hello there, what an unexpected and lovely surprise to see you here, in… the kitchen of your own home.”

Next to him, Virgil heard the small, distinct thwap of his fellow borrower’s palm meeting their face.

“…What’s going on?” Patton repeated, sounding far more awake this time.

“Extremely normal, non-fairy-related things,” Roman answered, visibly sweating.

“Extremely bloody Dionysian orgies,” Remus said at the same time, considerably louder.

Virgil could see just enough of Patton’s expression to watch the way it crinkled in a sort of morose confusion.

“In the kitchen?” he asked, voice pained, as though that was his main problem with the suggestion.

“If there aren’t any knives involved, can any orgy really be called Dionysian?” Remus replied in a faux-wise tone, lifting his arm to make a deeply inappropriate gesture in accompaniment with his words. This technically cleared the way back to the wall, but as it turned out, only for a moment.

Before either of them could get too hopeful about any chance of escape, Remus ended the gesture by quickly clapping his hands over the both of them in a makeshift dome shape.

Next to him, the other borrower only flinched a bit, but Virgil couldn’t help the outright squeak he made at the sudden limbs dropping down over them.

There was another pause from the humans above them, this one distinctly more harried.

“Um, guys?” Patton’s voice had gone from confused to concerned. “What was—?”

“Broken whoopee cushion,” Remus insisted. “Filled it with mayonnaise, you know how it goes.”

“He sneezed!” Roman added, his voice sliding up a few pitches. “Gesundheit, Remus! Totally nothing strange about that— Padre, wait!”

There were big steps drawing closer, now, and Remus’s hands cinched in a little tighter around the two of them. They were forced to huddle even closer together, and the other borrower’s bony elbow collided with his side in a way he wasn’t convinced was accidental.

He shot them a glare, which they returned with an expression that was equal parts indignant and frantic. After a second, they forced a barely-there whisper through grit teeth. “It’s your human. Will he hurt us?”

“How am I supposed to know?!” Virgil hissed back, just as quiet. “I didn’t ever get caught before you showed up!”

Not while the human was conscious enough to remember it, anyhow.

The other borrower’s eyes narrowed into slits, reminding Virgil that he probably shouldn’t be antagonizing the guy that already proved themself willing to try and murder him once. Before they could respond, though, the conversation over their heads continued.

“Guys,” Patton said, sounding stern. “What have we said about wrangling critters in my home?”

“That it was a firmly banned activity after the Great Frog Croak-tastrophe?” Roman guessed sheepishly. “And, y’know, that was certainly a fair and just ruling for that situation, however—!”

“Nuh-uh, I don’t wanna hear it,” Patton replied, unwavering. Virgil could practically envision the way his human was standing from his tone alone: hands on his hips, eyebrows raised expectantly. “Frog or not, I’m sure whatever you two caught will be much hoppier once they’re released safely outside, right Remus?”

“Eh, you might not feel the same after you see them, Pattycakes,” Remus warned. “I know I’m usually the harbinger of pests, wrangler of rats, champion of centipedes, but not even I know what to do about these guys.”

There was the shuffle of clothing, like Patton was shifting in place, and he sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to figure it out together, huh?”

There was a moment of hesitation where Virgil assumed the twins were exchanging a wordless meaningful look, as they so often did, and then the distinct slide of glass across a countertop.

The moment the hands around them twitched, Virgil shifted into a crouched position, drawing his legs under him and preparing to bolt the moment there was space, even if it was probably totally futile. Next to him, he could feel the other borrower doing much the same.

Rather than lift off of them, however, the hands shifted to pinch even closer together, forming the shape of a spade, like a pair of nut shells that had been glued back together at the edges, leaving a hollow space inside. The two of them were forced to scramble upwards into the hold or get limbs stuck in between the sides of Remus’s palms as he scooped them up off the counter completely.

Virgil’s stomach dropped at the upwards movement, completely out of his control, and he reached out and latched onto the side of the other borrower’s shirt with a white-knuckled grip. They were still at least a little concussed, and Virgil wasn’t letting them get separated now, not when he’d already gotten himself into the most terrifying situation in his life saving them. Wherever they were going, they’d at least be stuck in it together.

To his surprise, the other borrower gripped him right back.

After only a few seconds, they were lowered and deposited onto a familiar smooth surface. Virgil grit his teeth at the feeling, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. He’d just gotten out of this stupid glass pitcher!

He didn’t get much time to seethe indignantly, however, because the moment Remus’s hands pulled away, there were much bigger problems to face.

Three of them, to be precise.

Heart in his throat, Virgil slowly lifted his head to look up at the face of his human, warped through the curve of the glass.

With a confused furrow to his brow, Patton moved to take a step closer, and then stopped short as the sight before him properly registered. His hand flew up to cover his mouth, his eyes widening with surprise. “Oh my!”

“I toad you so,” Remus interjected unhelpfully.

Roman cuffed his shoulder, and Remus immediately jabbed two fingers into Roman’s side in retaliation. It was only a firm warning look from Patton that kept them from devolving into another slap fight during the most terrifying moment of Virgil’s life.

Virgil shifted to stand, shuffling back until he didn’t have to crane his neck so painfully to make eye contact. Humans were so big, and it had never been more evident than it was now, staring up at giants.

Staring up at Patton. He was pretty sure he’d had a nightmare that had gone exactly like this. Well, minus the concussed would-be assassin. And the frog puns.

Patton, for his part, had developed a genuinely distressed twist to his features as he took in the sight of the two of them. After a moment of wavering, his gaze settled firmly on Virgil, sending a prickling sense of alarm up his spine.

“Hello again,” said Patton, smiling at him.

Virgil froze. The borrower behind him froze. Even the twins froze for a moment, before their heads both snapped around to stare at Patton with eerie synchronization.

“You know them?!” two voices asked, in two very different tones.

Virgil felt dread drop into his gut like a stone down a sewer grate. There was no way.

“I know one of them,” Patton answered, unperturbed by everyone’s shock. “That’s the little guy who helped take care of me while I was sick!”

He lifted a hand in demonstration and wiggled his fingers, the healing burns on them still visibly shiny.

The twins gaped. “He what?”

Behind him, in a far more bewildered tone, the other borrower echoed them: “You what?”

“You shut up,” Virgil muttered sourly without turning to look at them. His heart was practically shaking in his ribcage, knowing that the human had remembered all along, that Patton had returned home well-aware of the intruder in his walls.

The realization felt chilling, like a thimble of icy water had been dumped down his shirt. Patton hadn’t acted strange at all, hadn’t cast any speculative glances at the walls or scanned any shelves for undersized intruders. The twins and their ghost-hunting equipment clearly hadn’t known the truth, so why would Patton? Virgil hadn’t even suspected.

Who knew what would have happened after Roman and Remus left, and it was only the two of them, with Virgil blissfully unaware of the danger he was in?

Well. Caught like this, he supposed he was going to find out soon.

Patton’s smile faded, carefully watching the way Virgil’s chest was visibly shuddering with too-shallow breaths.

“You thought I froggot, huh?” he said, looking inexplicably sad. “I thought about it while I was in the hospital, and I kinda figured we’re really not supposed to know about you guys. That means it was pretty darn brave of you to try and help me anyways.”

Virgil swallowed, fear sticking in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. He certainly didn’t feel brave.

The other borrower stepped up to be at his side, ignoring Virgil’s reflexive attempt to shoulder them back behind him.

“I suppose the saying is true, then.” They paused, narrowing their eyes in a silent challenge. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

The encompassing flourish they made was a little wobbly, as though their balance was still off, but it got the point across: Patton had recovered from his illness, and they were stuck in a pitcher on his counter.

Virgil’s incredulity at the other borrower was enough to snap him out of the worst of his frozen terror, his head whipping to the side to stare at them.

They were insane. They had to be, using such sharp words and an even sharper tone with a human. This was just about the worst time to instigate an argument. The two of them were stuck in a pitcher on his counter!

Unsurprisingly, neither of the twins looked particularly happy with the accusatory turn the conversation had taken. Patton had been their friend for a long time. They had always jumped at the opportunity to defend him from harm in the past, and Virgil doubted that would change now.

For all their tomfoolery, the two of them could be downright vicious when they were angry. If they were willing to tear fellow humans a new one for messing with Patton, it was gruesome to imagine what they’d do to a pair of borrowers. They’d already been terrifying enough when they’d only been curious about him.

Before either of them could begin to speak, however, Patton nodded once, almost to himself, and pivoted to face his friends.

“Howsabout you two get started on cleaning up the living room so we can settle down and get some proper sleep?” he asked, the request firm enough that it was clearly more of an instruction than a suggestion.

Both twins started protesting immediately, looking extremely put out at the idea of abandoning Patton with their exciting new find. They were talking over each other, the words tangling and becoming an indecipherable mess by the time they reached Virgil, but he was fairly certain he heard phrases like “—but I’ll only lie awake haunted by fairy law and order,” and, “—you can’t keep me away from my new pyromaniac bestie!” in the mix.

“Mhmm, yup, we can discuss all of that later,” Patton replied stoutly, ushering the two of them towards the entrance to the kitchen with insistent sweeping gestures, like a shepherd with his herd. “There’ll be plenty of time to talk over breakfast in the morning, but it’s getting late, so hop to it!”

“We’re being banished with frog puns! This is an amphibian atrocity,” Roman bemoaned.

“Froggin’ unbelievable,” Remus agreed. 

However, even with all their complaints, they seemed to understand that Patton wasn’t budging this time, and reluctantly allowed themselves to be shooed out of the kitchen like the world’s noisiest sheep.

At Virgil’s shoulder, the other borrower took the opportunity to lean in while the humans were across the room.

“You ‘didn’t ever get caught,’ hmm?” they asked, still far too smug considering the situation they were in.

A muscle in Virgil’s eye twitched. Despite everything, he wasted a moment considering the merits of trying to inflict another head injury on his fellow captive. They’d been a lot more tolerable with the beginnings of a concussion.

“Do you want to go back to trying to stab each other?” he snapped instead, stepping pointedly away even as he made the thinly-veiled threat. “Because it seems like you want to go back to trying to stab each other.”

“Oh, I’m so terrified,” they replied drolly, crossing their arms. “Won’t someone save me from the horrible Monoxide assassin and his entirely genuine threats?”

Virgil stared at them for a moment, disbelieving. “You know, I think I actually liked you better when you were trying to murder me in cold blood.”

“Don’t lose hope. Maybe I’ll try again later,” they retorted with a dangerous glint in their eye, and then they were both falling silent as Patton approached once more.

Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil caught the contemplative frown that flashed over the other borrower’s face, the only glimpse of their consternation at facing down a human. They may have had plans aplenty to deal with the twins, but Patton was clearly more of an unknown to them.

…Virgil knew Patton. He’d spent enough time watching the human to get attached, grown familiar enough with Patton’s life to cheer on his efforts and fret over his disappointments. He should be able to find the right words to get them out of this, convince his human the way the other borrower had effortlessly fooled Roman, but… he couldn’t.

It was impossible to think up a strategy for this situation. How could he possibly reconcile Patton, the guy who helped organize weekly PTA bake sales and volunteered to look after kittens he was allergic to and cried when he saw roadkill, with a human who knew, who would keep them trapped, who needed to be pleaded with for their release?

How was he supposed to bargain with a monster if he couldn’t even accept that the monster existed?

“I’m sorry if the twins frightened you,” Patton said, voice lowered to a softer volume. “They tend to be very exuberant, but they don’t mean any harm.”

The other borrower looked as though they were on the brink of scoffing at the very idea that they couldn’t handle Roman and Remus, a defensive slant to their shoulders.

“Why?” The word tumbled from Virgil’s mouth without his permission, his shoulders hunching under the undivided focus of Patton’s gaze.

“Why what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly like a confused dog.

“If you knew,” Virgil forced out, fingernails digging into his palms, “why didn’t you tell them? Or— or look for me?”

Understanding settled onto Patton’s expression, and he hummed thoughtfully, as though considering how to phrase his answer.

“If you wanted to be seen, you would have come out and said hi,” he finally said, simply. “You saved my life by calling for help. If you wanted to stay a secret, the least I could do is make sure to keep that secret safe.”

Virgil blinked up at him, trying to force the words into a configuration that made sense. Humans didn’t just let mysteries exist, especially not ones that were so easy to grab ahold of.

“I won’t lie and say I’m not awfully curious about you,” Patton continued, and his hand was reaching out for the handle of the pitcher and surely, this was the moment that it all came crashing down—, “but you can’t force a friendship. Especially not like this!”

Slowly, in gentle increments, the pitcher was shifted to lay on its side, the open end facing away from Patton. It was practically a straight shot to the closest wall entrance, their freedom waiting where the back of the counter met the kitchen wall.

They’d been prepared to make a break for it at the earliest opportunity before, but now, with escape dangled in front of them, both borrowers hesitated. Virgil exchanged a dumbfounded look with the other borrower, trying to stomp down the insane hope bubbling in the back of his mind.

“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me!” Patton finished, making sure the glass was stable and settled before releasing it and stepping back. “Otherwise, my lips are sealed— and I’ll make sure Roman and Remus keep the secret, too.”

He made a zipping motion over his mouth, eyes crinkled with amusement at the edges, and then turned and walked out of the kitchen without a single glance back.

Virgil hadn’t uttered a single plea, and yet, the path back to the walls was right there. He looped the other borrower’s arm over his shoulder and led them, step by faltering step, across the counter, even scooping his bag up as he went. Nobody came rushing in, nobody stopped them from taking those last few steps into the safety of the walls.

He’d expected to face a monster, and instead he’d been offered kindness, unasked for and freely given.

They were both quiet as they shuffled further into the familiar cramped space, as though a single sound would shatter the illusion of this impossible release. The other borrower pulled away after a moment, their pain of their concussion likely more manageable in the dark. The silence stretched, relief and exhaustion weighing on them in equal measure.

Virgil yawned despite himself, absently wondering if they were going to continue that semi-murderous argument about cults and who wronged who, and if the other borrower would be willing to reschedule it to sometime after they’d slept.

Ahead of them, a third figure stepped out of the shadows, quickly looking them over as though checking that everyone was still intact. Oddly enough, they sort of smelled like gunpowder.

“Hm. That certainly didn’t go according to plan,” they said bluntly, the oversized pack on their back jingling slightly as they stepped forward. “Still, we all survived, so I suppose introductions are in order.”

[elizaisdunn]

wotcher!

[sophsicle]

OKAY i changed my mind again. chapter 22 is actually going to be Remus, James, Evan and chapter 23 is going to be Mary. SO I'll publish chapter 22 and then the next day i'll publish chapter 23

[stinkrascal]

okay im ngl im really proud of this remake lmao

it's askeladd from vinland saga!! NO SPOILERS IM STLL ON SEASON ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[enbysiriusblack]

have just discovered my peter and remus are literally the popular fandom opposites...

my peter is their remus, and my remus is their peter.. fucking wild.

like my peter is the one who teaches the other marauders about muggle culture, and he's a huge whore (/aff), and he's dyslexic, and spends the summers walking around the streets. and that's fandom!remus????

and my remus is a huge follower and goes along with whatever the others say, and is all the parent's favourites, and doesn't talk much, and has to study a lot to get good marks. that's fandom!peter????

[queenofmistresses]

poly marauders with sub james where they just use him as a personal fuck toy and by the end he is a mess, tears down his cheeks and his legs shaking

Beautiful

Poly!marauders x reader

A/N this is my first poly fic so I hope I complete this as you want, please feel free to give me any feedback!

Warnings: nsfw, a lot of sexual content, dom! Reader, switch!sirius, switch!remus, sub!james, degradation, praise kink, mommy kink, let me know if there’s more

Me and Remus go straight from our potions class to the boys’ dorm. We chat the whole way but as we approach the room we hear small noises coming from inside. We share a glance and a small smile and press our ears against it, listening in.

“Fuck… feels… ugh.” We couldn’t hear much but we could tell what was happening. With another shared smirk we open the door to the beautiful image of Sirius fucking James’s ass. I place my bag on the ground and take Remus’s from his shoulder placing it with mine.

Both James and Sirius are looking at us now. “Having fun without us?” I walk over to the bed and place my hand on Sirius’s cheek, stroking his jaw with my thumb. He leans into my touch, letting out a shallow breath. “Answer me please Siri.”

“I-I I’m sorry mommy. He looked so good. Sorry I-I should’ve waited.” He hangs his head down. I look over at James, walking closer to his face, watching his eyes stare at me intensely. I stroke his head, feeling his hair.

“Well you’re right on both things. You should’ve waited. But he does look good doesn’t he?” James lets out a small whimper. “I’ll punish you later Siri. For now, I think we need to fuck our little Jamie until he can’t remember his own name. How does that sound Jamie.” He groans.

“Please mommy. Please fuck me dumb. Want you all so bad.” I smile at his begging. He’s always so good at it, letting into his submissive side so easily.

“Good boy.” He groans again, moving his head to kiss my palm. I look over to Remus who is still frozen in place and signal him over. He moves forwards standing right in front of me. I stand him, and although he is towering over me I still feel as though I have the power over him. “Well, Sirius already has his dick inside Jamie, what do you want? You want his mouth? His cock?” I start stripping down his robe while I kiss his neck.

“H-his cock. Please.” He’s looking hungrily at James, like if he was in Sirius’s position, he would be pounding into James like there’s no tomorrow. I bring my lips up to his and we fight each other for control, he’s always had a more dominant lean than Sirius, but either way I win this fight.

“Go on then Rem.” I whisper. “Let Sirius get you ready first.” Remus goes to the cupboard and gets out the lube, passing it to Sirius. He strips down until he’s naked before he climbs over James so that he’s straddling his waist, leaning forwards and engaging in a heated kiss with him. He groans when Sirius starts moving his fingers in and out of his asshole, getting it ready for James’s cock. I can feel myself becoming wet at the sight.

I strip down completely as well watching my boys have their fun. It’s a tight fit on a single bed but we’ll make do, we always do. “Now James, you’re not allowed to cum until we give you permission.” I say when Remus finally releases from the kiss. “Do you understand?”

“Yes mommy.” He says.

“I’m going to sit on your face Jamie. What do you do if you need a break?” I ask, approaching him. I need him to be able to stop.

“Tap your thigh twice.”

“Good boy.” I watch as Remus slowly sits down on James’s hips, his cock entering him as he lets out a groan, James whines too. “You ready James? Ready for us to use you?”

“Yes. Please- God please use me.” I give a nod to Sirius who starts his movements, slowly at first. When his movements starts to pick up I nod to Remus who lifts himself up so James’s cock is almost out of him before slamming back down, continuing his movements.

The combined sounds of skin hitting skin and all of their pretty moans practically has me dripping. I start stroking his hair again. “Such a good boy Jamie. Taking it so well. Taking it like the pretty little slut you are.” He whimpers below me, taking my words in.

I lift my legs over him, straddling his chest. “Think you can take mommy as well?” He nods quickly. “Words baby.”

“Yes. Please mommy.” I smile at him. “Good boy.” I lift myself up, shifting forwards and sitting down on his face. He immediately starts lapping at me pussy. Pressing his tongue on my clit for a short while before moving to poke his tongue into my hole, sending waves of pleasure through my body causing me to lean my head back and let out a series of moans.

“Well done Bunny. Taking my cock so well.” I hear Sirius groan from behind me. James moans at his words sending electricity through my body. It isn’t long before I feel myself getting close.

“Nearly there baby. You’re doing so well. Gonna take it all like a good boy ok? So close.” I continue to ride his face, chasing my pleasure. I don’t know what they do but one of the boys seems to do something that James really liked ‘cause he groans into me again, sending me into my orgasm.

James uses his tongue to lap up everything I give him as I come down from the high. The boys are both still going from behind me so I lift myself up and move to straddle his chest instead. “Thank you mommy.” He says, his eyes clouded over in lust.

“Good boy.” I murmur. His face covered in my cum and his eyes are rolled back as his whole body moves at Sirius’s thrusts.

“Please- please can I cum?” He says to no-one in particular. I leave it to the boys to answer and keep stroking his hair.

“Not yet Bunny. Hold on for me ok?” Sirius grunts out. James clenches his eyes shut, tight.

“Open your eyes for me please sweetheart.” I say pushing back the hair from his face. When he opens his eyes I can see tears threatening to spill out. “So pretty baby. Doing so well, for us.”

“Please mommy.” He whimpers.

“No baby. If Siri says no, it’s a no. You can hold on for us baby, not much longer.” I continue to soothe him as the boys groan behind me. “Being our special little toy yeah? Taking us so well.”

“B-being a good fuckdoll for you?” He asks so innocently you’d think you misheard what he said.

“Being the best fuckdoll for us. Doing so well, almost there ok? Let them use you a little longer.” I press a kiss to his cheek before turning my body around to face the boys.

I take Remus’s cock in my hand and start fisting it, bringing him closer. “Fuck mommy. Keep doing that, please!” I smirk at him and bring myself closer to him, pressing my lips to his. He groans and I use that as my opportunity to slide my tongue into his mouth. Remus doesn’t fight it, quickly letting me take over as he continues to thrust himself onto James’s cock.

“Please let me cum Siri ‘n’ Remi. Please ‘m so close!” James begs. I let Remus go for a moment to catch my breath.

“We’re so close Bunny, won’t be long I promise.” Remus grunts out, thrusting into my head and pulling James almost completely out of him.

It doesn’t take long at all for Sirius to announce he’s ready and for Remus to confirm the same. “Ready boys? Gonna count down for you and you’re all gonna cum at once okay?” After a resounding ‘yes mommy’ from each boy I start counting from 3. “3… 2… 1.” At one, the room is filled with their groans as they all let go. Sirius inside James, James inside Remus and Remus on my stomach. I quickly grab my wand and transfigure the bed to be big enough for all of us and we all collapse next to a grinning James.

“Well done baby.” I say, bringing my hand up to stroke his cheek. I take a moment to catch my breath before I start moving to go to the bathroom.

Quickly though all 3 boys move to grab onto me, almost yelling, “No!” at me. I chuckle a little.

“We need to get cleaned up. If you haven’t noticed we’re all covered in cum. Really we all need showers but for now a cloth will do.” The think for a moment and seem to accept my answer and let me get up.

I clean them each off one by one, finishing with myself before I squeeze back into the middle of the bed between James and Sirius. “Was that all ok Jamie?” I ask.

“It was great!”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm! Loved it.” He murmurs slightly, turning his body and grabbing onto my arm to nuzzle into me. Sirius does the same and Remus spoons him, reaching his arm over to hold my hand.

They always fall straight asleep after sex. But I’ll get them up in half an hour and we’ll all have showers and clean ourselves up. But for now, I’m going to enjoy my limited time with all 3 of my boys.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 4 - Switch

@jegulus-microfic January 4 Word count 505

CW - Someone's shirt is set on fire but they arent hurt at all.

Regulus was enjoying the warm spring day between classes. He, Barty, and Evan were all loitering out in the courtyard. They only had about a quarter of an hour before Charms. Barty had been determined to get outside before they were trapped inside for the rest of the afternoon. So Regulus had indulged him. 

Barty was causing chaos, of course, quietly egged on by Evan. Regulus watched the tiny floating paper birds drift close to groups of other students before igniting with a sharp crack. Oddly, no one seemed to realise where they were coming from. 

Regulus had just lit a cigarette when the door slammed open, bouncing off the stone walls. He hid his hand behind his back in a flash. In case it was a professor or Filch. But no, it was his brother and his gang of loud idiots. Regulus groaned, knowing that all peace was now lost. He put his cigarette to his lips again, refusing to waste it because of them. 

His brother’s voice soon filled the small space. Regulus looked over at him. Sirius was standing on the side of the fountain, holding onto one of the uprights and waving about dramatically. Sirius had always loved the sound of his own voice. Potter was whooping and carrying on, adding fuel to Sirius’s fire. Pettigrew isn’t much better, clapping and squeakily laughing. The only one not being entirely annoying was Remus. Who, while watching Sirius intently, was only smiling and not making any noise. Regulus thought he would probably get on quite well with Remus Lupin if he wasn’t one of his brother’s friends.

Barty nudged Regulus in the side, nearly displacing his cigarette. Regulus scowled at him until he looked where Barty was pointing. One of his little paper birds was floating towards Sirius. Regulus felt the corners of his lips twitching in anticipation. 

It was nearly on him when Potter shifted sideways a step. The bird landed perfectly in the centre of his back. Crack. James’s shirt sets alight. The crack makes him jump, but he didn’t realise he was on fire until Sirius screams at him. 

Regulus knew the fire wouldn’t actually hurt him. Barty embraced chaos. But he wasn’t mad enough to hurt someone on school property. 

“It’s heatless flames,” He’d told Regulus the first time he’d shown him the spell. “Don’t want to risk getting expelled and having to go home to my father.”

James ripped his shirt off. Though at this point, there wasn’t much of it left. He threw it on the floor and stomped on it to put the flames out. James turned around trying to see who had hit him in the back. 

That’s when Regulus looked fully at James. It was like a switch had been flicked. One second he was just another of his brother’s annoying friends, and then Regulus’s stomach flipped. He had the sudden urge to lick James’s abs, which he’d never had before. 

The realisation hit him like a brick. 

Salazar’s balls! I fancy James Potter!  

[roxasboxas]

the case is still unsolved because Remus couldn't figure it out

[bailey-orphic08]

Okay, so- I have this Sander Sides AU that I've had for a long while now. And I think it would be neat to share it with you. I might also make several posts about it. So let me introduce you to:

Sanders Switched is an AU in which the sides' "roles" are switched around. To elaborate, their function (Logan as logic, Patton as morality, ect.) remains the same. Thomas' perception of them is what changes. So where Logan is the voice of reason in canon, another side would take his place. Here's all the sides in Sanders Switched:

Janus: Janus takes the role of Patton as the kind authority figure. He's seen as Thomas' self-preservation and always puts his safety and well-being above all else. He's a sort of motherly figure to the other sides, constantly caring about their well-being and acting as if he's older than them. He's much sweeter than OG Janus, but he still has a sassy side, and lives for gossip.

Remus: Remus takes Roman's role as Thomas' source of inspiration. He is seen as Thomas' comedic side and encourages Thomas to have as much fun as possible. Rather than being a Duke, he presents as a jester. He has issues with his impulsivity, and his jokes tend to be morbid and often mean, but he's overall harmless and much more tame than OG Remus.

The Orange Side: Obviously, I can't say exactly what the Orange Side will be, since we haven't been introduced to him yet. But based off what we do know, I place him in Logan's role as the voice of reason. Assuming he represents wrath of some sort--which is impossible not to believe at this point--he would probably be seen as Thomas' motivation, pushing him to get his work done.

Roman: Most people would probably switch Roman and Remus and make Remus, "good creativity," and Roman, "bad creativity." BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M COMPLICATED AND UNIQUE. So Roman takes the place of Virgil as the original, "antagonist." He is seen as Thomas' pride that pushes delusions that keep Thomas from growing as a person. He arrogant and rude, and claims he is a King rather than a Prince. Because of this, none of the sides really like him at all, with the exception of Janus. But near the end of season one, we discover that Roman only really wanted Thomas to achieve his dreams, and that most of his cockiness hid his secret insecurities. And after Thomas and the other sides realize how important he is, Roman is officially accepted as part of the group.

Patton: Patton takes the role of Janus as the antagonist to all of Thomas' beliefs and the possible leader of the dark sides. He is seen as Thomas' overbearing moral code that constantly tries push harsh rules rooted in Catholic Christianity onto Thomas and the other sides. He is extremely passive aggressive and overly judgmental towards the sides he deems, "wrong." Almost everything he says is a critisism of something Thomas or the other sides do. Despite being so harsh however, he loves puns and making jokes just as much the OG Patton, and loves to torture Logan with his puns.

Logan: Logan takes Remus' place as the bad influence Thomas tries to ignore. He is seen as Thomas' inner critique who judges Thomas for everything he does. He insists that Thomas' lifestyle is, "childish," and that he should abandon it for a, "mature," way of living so that he can live, "a normal, healthy life." He is extremely judgmental and criticizes all the sides for the smallest of details, making everyone hate him, even Janus. Despite this, he generally harmless, and he can easily be ignored.

Virgil: Virgil takes the Orange Side's place as the mysterious secret side that the fandom makes a million theories about. I can't fully explain who he would be, since, again, we haven't been introduced to the Orange Side yet. But for now, he still represents Thomas' anxiety. And when he reveals himself, he will call Thomas and all the sides out on their BS.

That's all for now. It isn't fully developed, and things will surely change when the Orange Side finally does reveal himself. But there's still a lot of things I would like to share. So please let me know if you want know more!

[trohpi]

marauders brooklyn nine-nine au with james as jake, lily as amy, sirius as rosa, remus as gina, peter as charles, mcgonagall as captain holt, and madam pomfrey as kevin

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

one of the biggest mistakes Remus made while being friends with the Marauders is telling them that you can use glasses to start fires

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

Which spooky gay taught the other about makeup and which spooky gay taught the other about hair dye?

:D

— 👑

Okay so H E A R M E O U T Ree taught makeup and Vee taught hair dye... We all know Pre AA!Vee didn't have the best eyeshadow (The Emo was trying cut him some slack) but Ree decided to help him and busted out his handy dandy makeup palette and tested out the edgy Raccoon look to which Vee absolutely adored and kept doing ever since... Then there's the episode of the iconic "Purple and Green go together" line AKA when Vee got the Purple hair (Not calling it the HP episode for obvious reasons but anygays) When Vee sinks back down Ree is surprised (A W O O G Aing) when he finds out that his Emo has a new look and is standing out a little more so Ree gets the idea that he wants his hair dyed too and let's Vee do the silver streak for him <3 (The less he looks like his twin the better)

[robertdownerjunior]

listen, I love 'adorable sweetheart x a literal demon' as much as the next guy but we have to appreciate the trope that is 'a literal demon x an absolute piece of shit human'