#tbh I don't want to live in a world like this anymore

[blue-jester]

I feel sick

[insomaniacat]

orv spoilers

tbh I'm so happy there is no explicit romance in orv (minus the brief stuff that happens with jhw and lhs) and because of that I feel like I've been able to appreciate kdj in such a profound way as a character

like sure i like joongdok and yoohankim but to me at least kdj has this level of asexuality to him that I don't usually associate him with anyone that romantically. And their relationships are still as complex and has such a great depth that they are like THE foundest of families and I can return to the kim dokja company at the end of the day as all of them being my comfort characters. you know that saying like 'i love you so much i'd make the world burn for you'? it's meant to be this dramatic line about how much you love someone (romantically), but kdj's company fully encapsulates this in a platonic way that just isn't cringey or anything like that

they are all so platonic but they love each other to such an unconditional way that they ALL decide to relive through all the scenarios again in the hope of finding kim dokja again. and later, they all help to write and spread a story - stories, the thing the reader loves - again, in hopes of bringing kdj back home. they aren't sure if it'll work, but it is through this love they all have that they don't give up and put their hope in this seemingly impossible method

and this is also what makes them fundamentally different from kdj. unlike kim dokja in the apocalypse, they do not have any sort of proof their methods will work. kdj has twsa - the novel he grew up reading, the novel he fantasized living in, the novel that he's spent 13 years following, learning every nook and cranny and probably even planning out his own way to survive the apocalypse from this lengthy novel. he has some sort of assurance his methods will work, with the amount of time hsy put into describing the settings (remember that twsa was not popular and one of the complaints was that tls123 put too much emphasis on the settings that deterred people from reading it, when really, that too was a way to ensure kdj survived the apocalypse later on). he has had time to reassure himself and plan for it, and probably had yjh case test them all

but kdj's company had no assurance - they did not grow up with a book that confirmed their methods of bringing kdj back would work. they did not have any 'third plans', no 'ressurections', no 'restarts', that kdj had in the apocalypse. all they had was their own hope - something kdj didn't have when he was fifteen sitting in that hospital bed after that failed suicide attempt, feeling like the whole world was against him. Until he searched up those three words on his phone. Those three words that were probably 'Ways of Survival'.

And then he found his hope in twsa. he found his hope in yjh, the protagonist made just for him. he found hope in the story that he believed in for the next thirteen years. the story that got him through high school, the CSATs, the military. his hope was in this tangible book that carried him through the apocalypse.

kdj's company had none of that. they only had their hope in kim dokja - the man they survived the scenarios with. they could only put their hope in their memories of surviving with the man that saved them, even though there was no evidence he lived in their world anymore. they had to put their hope in the fact that they remembered he existed, even though they had to acknowledge that they didn't know everything about him.

sing shong touches upon this idea a lot throughout orv - does something really exist if no one knows about it? or, in a more modern saying, did a fallen tree in a forest really fall if no one heard it? what proves the existence of something? what proves that something truly happened? sing shong seems to make it pretty clear that the existence of something can be represented metaphorically like a 'story', and stories need a 'reader', some sort of spectator that witnesses it, for the 'story' to exist.

for kim dokja, his final sacrifice, where he split into infinite little pieces scattered across the universe, was to ensure that everything existed. that open ending, as tragic as it was, was meant to be comforting. that his sacrifice was supposed to be so existences like you and me, are real. no matter how lonely we may feel throughout our lives, a metaphorical 'kim dokja' is looking at our own stories, spectating our own stories, even living our own lives himself.

and what i hate to say sometimes is that kim dokja is not really a character - he is an idea. he is an idea of some being affirming our lives, that it's real, that what we do from day to day, even something as simple as getting up in the mornings and brushing your teeth, or thumbing through a store catalog, matters. and this is why kim dokja sacrificed himself. for all the stories that may have not 'existed' if no one was watching it.

and it's out of love. this tragic, terrible love for the world, that eats away at yourself until you are nothing. but at least you exist.

[lusalemaart]

[smores100]

hey.

so. haven't been around for quite some time, mostly due to my health issues (the usual + muscle aches and joint pains, i'm having a great time), but also in part due to The Situation. it's hard to care about anything with everything that's been going on, it all seems so pointless and meaningless, i'm living in a completely different universe from everyone else here. wish i could be that privileged, but alas. it's also hard being around here, and on other social media platforms for that matter, and seeing the raging antisemitism and sheer hate everywhere. i haven't checked my dash in almost 2 months, haven't checked specific blogs like i used to either, and have no plans on doing so anytime soon. i know what i'll find, i don't want it.

i was gonna stay quiet like i ususally do, especially since i genuinely don't have energy for anything rn, but it's been 2 months and i've been biting my tongue and screaming and crying into my pillow daily and i just need to get some of it out before i implode. there's only so much ignorance and hate that one person can take before snapping, so. here i am.

i have so much i want to say, i've written a million posts in my mind in the past 2 months, but i'm too Tired to actually write them down, and it'll just be one big messy ramble anyway, so i'm just gonna reblog a couple of other people's posts and make do with that. just a couple, don't worry, i know these are issues most either want to avoid dealing with or the opinions shared in those posts are a complete 180 degrees from what's trendy to believe in today. but i have to share it anyway. for 2 months i've been terrified, frustrated, bitter, angry and absolutely heartbroken, but there's one thing i haven't been, and that is ashamed. i'm proud of who i am. i'm proud of my people and their spirit. you will never understand what it's been like for us, what it still is like for us, but let me just say this: they wanted to break us, they wanted to break our spirit. they failed. we've never been more united. they just made us stronger.

so i'm gonna reblog some stuff so i can get it out of my system and move on. at worst i hope you just ignore and scroll past it; at best i hope you keep an open mind and maybe for the first time read things from a different pov instead of just the one sided propaganda everyone is continuously exposed to. maybe you'll see it isn't all black and white, maybe you'll see there are nuances you're not even aware of, maybe you'll realize you've been fed a lot of misinformation, half truths and even lies over the years. maybe. if you have questions or want to have a mature and civil conversation about it, feel free to msg me and i'll try and reply when my health allows me to, i'm open to discussion. if you want to unfollow me after this, feel free to do so. i'm not gonna force my truth on anyone, but i'm also not gonna change who i am for anyone either.

and on a more personal note, i wanna say thank you again for the msgs i've received last time and haven't replied to (due to health, Situation etc), and for the ones i've gotten since (will get to those soon i hope). i do feel the need to say this tho - i did have a peek or two at my dash and on twitter earlier on and saw some things. i was in a super sensitive state at the time and it was pretty disheartening ngl. it's hard nowadays, with all the hate going on and public opinion being what it is, to know whether or not you're still welcome in these spaces, whether or not people still like you and care about you, or if you've officially become persona non grata. most days it feels like the latter tbh. i just don't know where i stand. i said i'm not gonna force myself on anyone and i'm not, so if you're still ok with me…i guess the ball's in your court? 🌻

thanks for reading. thanks for sticking around, to those who decide to do so. take care y'all. never again is now. am yisrael chai. 💙

[iamindifferenttolamp]

Obligatory gift giving is actually hell for adhd brain

Here's a task with incredibly open parameters and pretty strict expectations but those expectations are mostly a secret. How much should you spend? How many Things should you give? Secret. Will the person actually want what you get them? Illegal to ask because Surprise Is More Important. And if you do a Bad Job and get a Bad Grade on the secret rubric then that's just a sign that you don't know the person well enough and you're also getting a bad grade in Relationship

Oh and btw there's a deadline but most Things are sold online these days so you have to find the right things (which again, we can't tell you what they are) and obtain them not only by the deadline but before the deadline enough to then wrap them. Throw in a little travel and now your deadline's even sooner. But also shipping is a gamble so who knows if it will arrive when it says or not especially since it's the busiest time of the year for shipping so delays are to be expected

Did we mention that you can't opt out without a lot of advance notice and also even with that you'll still be told you're Bad and Wrong and Ruining Things and not participating in reciprocal relationships properly?

Don't get me wrong, I love when I spot a Thing and go !!! [Person] would love this!!! And then buy it for them and they are happy and I'm doing a Good Job. But when you add in that expectation and the need to seek out The Perfect Gift and a deadline that you have to find The Best Possible Gift within instead of just giving people things when inspiration strikes? No thank you not a fun time do not like one star at best

[phantomrose96]

At the risk of having an opinion on Tumblr, that post about having Tumblr do a 48hr blackout like the Reddit one is... kinda just dumb.

Reddit communities going dark was based on well-defined demands against a well-defined new thing the company was doing. Reddit would start charging $xyz amount for API access. This would kill 3rd party apps. The protest was "we want Reddit to renegotiate the API cost to a lesser more reasonable rate that won't kill 3rd party apps."

The tumblr post just seems to be a hodge-podge of every popular tumblr complaint currently, including things staff themselves would clearly like to fix. Like one of the demands is to increase efforts against the spam bots. Buddy tumblr would love to get rid of those things because "your website is infested with sex bots" is not a good look to advertisers. Clearly they don't have a good way to get rid of them otherwise they'd be gone by now. Some 48 hour protest is not gonna make them suddenly better at it.

Other demands include bringing back "go nuts show nuts" which is just straight up not possible anymore. The current CEO made a long post about it a while back explaining why it can't happen. Some of the gripes are just annoying things like Tumblr Live, which tbh would be nice if it was gotten rid of entirely but having it be one bullet point in a random 2-day log off protest isn't gonna do it... You're better off sending thought-out feedback on why it's a problem.

Also like... even if Tumblr said "We're selling all the world's puppies to the factory that tests the efficacy of pepper grinders on animal flesh" which would be a pretty good thing to protest, the Tumblr format itself just can't be organized the way Reddit is. Reddit is made up of a bunch of town center bulletin boards that announcements can be pinned to, with moderators who (for better or worse) can make decisions for a whole community. Tumblr is just everyone's random blogs. Most of you probably don't even know what post I'm talking about cuz it never circulated to your dash. Which version of what post ends up on your dash is a complete clown show. This format doesn't let us organize for shit.

Also parting thoughts, Reddit was able to actually shut communities down and they have better advertiser pull so a missing chunk of the userbase could potentially catch the ire of advertisers. Tumblr is a mud pit and I doubt half the advertisers even know they're advertising on Tumblr.

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Messages you didn't notice #6 | Sunbae Theory

I wanted to add this to my previous post about other messages and their translation and theories (here) but it was becoming too long, so I'm posting it separetely.

Guys, I kept thinking about the fact that we never got to learn more about the meaning of these "random" messages. And then I realized I was overthinking it too much.

ALL THESE MESSAGES WERE ACTUALLY FROM MYUNGHA'S SUNBAE WHO MISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE!!!

In the final episode there's a moment when the last message shows up, and the author is finally written.

"I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae."

After we learn Myungha's full backstory, we now know "that place" means "afterlife". And if you look back on all the messages it MAKES SENSE, if you think that these are messages that are still coming on Myungha's phone from a friend – or, if we consider that everything is happening in Myungha's head, these are the thoughts about him by someone else.

Sunbae missed Myungha who was suddenly gone from life.

[In May, there is Children's Day, Parents' Day, there is even Teacher's Day but there is no Day when I can meet you] [I was passing by and saw a bracelet that you used to wear long time ago. It reminded me of you. I wonder if you still wear that bracelet.] [I broke a vase that was a gift from you. Can it be repaired?] [I thought only you dressed like that but others do too. I knew it wasn't you but I still followed. But why would you be dressed like that] (last sent messages) [I miss you. If only I could go there…] [Everything depends on what you'll do. Get yourself together.] [I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae.]

Tell me if these messages don't look like they were written by someone mourning the loss of a dear person. Someone who might be still sending messages to the number that will never reply anymore (and Myungha never did!). A chat that has become a diary of memories and longing, filled with a ghost of someone whose specific details you keep noticing in your everyday life. There is no Day when they can meet anymore. If only he could see him again...

I'm not sure about the vase but Myungha wore a bracelet in the beginning of the story (that was the first detail we notice about him tbh when he looks through the novel draft in the very first scene).

Someone else on Tumblr has expressed a theory that sunbae is a friend (or someone who loved Myungha) who decided to commemorate his friend in a written novel because they wanted to give him a happy life instead of a miserable one Myungha lived in real life.

I am so on board with this theory, (even though I like the grim reaper/deity theory or Myungha creating the world for himself), I think sunbae did exist in real life. And he obviously cared about Myungha, whether his love was to teach him a harsh lesson or to commemorate him in a meaningful story. After all, isn't this what all authors do to their characters? They make them go through conflicts and breaking points in order to overcome it all and finally find a happy ending.

Maybe sunbae has regretted that Myungha was never able to accept the love that others wanted to give him so he wrote the story to change that. Maybe sunbae is actually Yeowoon who wanted to put Myungha in his shoes and teach him how to love and be loved – actually, remember young Yeowoon, who lost Myungha due to his decision to erase himself from the game, who cried and picked up a pen to bring him back, starting a mission to make Myungha happy.

Maybe this novel is a desperate attempt to make peace and hope that someone you lost could be still loved at last.

No matter what, Sunbae was surely grieving Myungha.

[overnowsfcb]

halfway out the door; fermín lópez

summary: fighting to keep a little flame alive underwater, you couldn't lose the only stable thing in your life

warnings: ANGST!!! (no good ending) mature language, mental health issues (panic attack, anxiety, emotional distress), relationship struggles, unhealthy dinamics, brief mention of smut themes. if any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, i advise against reading this story.

word count: 3,3k

note: hiii! it's me again, this time posting for my sweet boy (who is not as sweet in this story) fermín. im planning to do something with all the 1989 vault tracks x barça players. so take it as the first from the series!! also, apologies if the angst hits hard, promise to post fluff next time (its a bit of challenge for me haha) super excited about this and would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions! – venus 🫂💐🫧 p.s.: im so proud of this one tbh

He didn’t seem to have enough time for you anymore. You didn’t want to see the subtle twist, but you knew him all too well and an imperceptible change for everyone was an imposing earthquake in your world.

It was in the hours that your messages would be waiting for a response and the way he wasn’t starved to taste your lips anymore. Once, he’d find an excuse to be with you, even if only for brief minutes. He’d dash to your apartment bearing your favorite chocolate with the pretext of keeping you fed. A smile brightening and your stomach still produced the same fluttering butterflies, as the first time he kissed you underneath the moonlight at fourteen.

Back then, everything was perfect, the chill air in your faces as you ran with sand getting between your toes, you could still feel his timid hands and tender touch on your waist as you both shared a breathtaking kiss.

Your mother's words echoed - relationships don't last forever. You'd always dismissed her musings, attributing them to the bitterness stemming from your father's departure. But now, that thought held a glimmer of truth.

He was your soulmate, your solid backbone, he would hold the candles for you even if his arm grew weary, drawing strength from unimaginable places. Unseen pictures would fill his phone, capturing your candid moments, proudly setting you as his lock screen. One cherished memory stood out: a photo of you, pajama-clad, returning from a late-night ice cream run, a victorious smile on your face. You had lost a bet that day, darting to the store at 1 AM, just a street away from your building.

However, now everything appeared to be falling apart; the last picture in his gallery folder, titled 'I love, mine, mine, mine,' dated back to July, and it was already November. It contrasted the warmth of July with the chilling absence of recent affection.

Yearning for something to blame, tears seemed futile as memories replayed relentlessly, etched deep within your heart. Each sob felt like a painful reminder of the emptiness in the cold, desolate bed without him by your side. Staring at it blankly, your mind echoed the silent void, your chest tightening with every expelled breath.

Sleeping alone always felt unbearable. You reached for your phone, gazing at the lock screen displaying a snapshot of both of you in a summer pool. His outings with friends never bothered you; you accepted that he was now part of Barcelona's first team, and you weren't his priority. However, deep down, a simple goodnight message like "Sweet dreams, Pip, I love you" was all you silently longed for. Was it too much to ask from someone who claimed to love you?

The absence weighed heavily as you saw the clock strike 4 AM. This hour always induced a sense of dread, a time too late to sleep, opening the gates to wandering thoughts about life's choices. Moving to Barcelona for him might have been a hasty decision.

In Sevilla, there wasn't much to lose. Your little town overwhelmed you, especially under the weight of your living nightmare, your mother and her pursuit of perfection. That was until she married your toddler brother’s father, her focus shifted almost forgetting about your existence.

He was your escape from that suffocating environment. Initially, it felt liberating, but gradually, it became confining again. The cage expanded as you became his pillar while his name was in everyone’s mouth, especially girls who found him attractive. The weight of being his support, witnessing the attention he received, caused an internal storm. But he wouldn’t change you, right? Yet, the conflict brewed within, the tug-of-war between being the support he needed and holding onto your own identity.

You grew tired of waiting for him, tossing and turning in bed for ten minutes, before finally succumbing to sleep, cocooned in blankets to ward off the cold.

Abruptly opening your eyes, hours later, your body spasmed and your heart raced, reflecting the recent struggles with sleep these days. Observing to your side, relief washed over you; he lay there peacefully, an arm draped over your waist.

Tears welled in your eyes, a sense of loss filling your chest. Deeply in love, you realized your first waking thought was about him, albeit taking a negative turn.

What if I lose him? What if I lost the lighthouse in the middle of the sea? The uncertainty of the waters and the potential fall weighed heavily.

You wanted to get back to those times when you smiled as you landed your eyes, his body next to you, where blonde strands of messy hair framed his face and you delicately organized them while you talked and kissed every morning, staying in bed like an old married couple, feeling each other's warmth, laughter used to fill the air as he playfully booped your nose.

The weight of invisible hands squeezed your chest, making each breath a desperate gasp for air.

You didn't want to feel this anxiety; your breath became erratic. Rushing to the terrace, you breathed as if your mind forewarned a trailer of what has to be.

Struggling to regain control, your hands tightened on the cold railing, a reminder of the grounding reality you struggled to grasp.

Peering down, the height induced paralysis, intensifying your vertigo. "y/n, estás bien?" (are you okay?) His concerned voice, muffled and distant, struggled to penetrate the thick fog of panic, fear rooted you in place, afraid the floor would fall through if you made a step.

"Amor, háblame." (darling, talk to me) He approached, unsure. This panic attack was the first in years. His hand on your shoulder offered reassurance like an anchor, and you emerged from the state, meeting his gaze with your tear-stained eyes; he was still your gentleman. He was still yours.

And you needed to repeat it to stave off madness.

"Abrázame," (hug me) you whispered in a fragile plea. His arms enveloped you, he was the refuge that you needed; his familiar scent eased your breathing.

His head on yours, he sought to share his heartbeat, attempting to quell the sudden anxiety and the questions that haunted your mind. His furrowed brows hinted at his confusion, but conversation could wait. For now, it was about you. The one who never failed him; he couldn't fail you now.

When your body distended completely, he gently guided you back to bed. You clung to him, as if he could run away at any moment.

You walked to your side of the bed and he tucked you in like no one ever did before, leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead, an attempt to dissipate the negativity.

“What time is it?” you inquired, looking up at him.

“Six a.m., sleep. ok?” He stroked your head, and your eyes closed under the weight of fatigue. “I love you so much.”

Days passed after the incident. He chose not to ask more about the reason behind your anxiety, he decided to act as if everything was fine.

This didn't imply he lacked concern for you, but it certainly felt that way. His demeanor towards you was still unchanged.

Feelings unaddressed hung in the air, manifesting in the cold kisses and the superficial small talk that never deepened. But, in front of everyone, you maintained the façade, accepting compliments from everyone about your seemingly perfect relationship. Only if they knew the underlying truth…

Yet, you personally sensed his gradual withdrawal, a palpable feeling of him slipping through your fingers. The strain became evident as you found yourself having to repeat things that were important to you at least three times, only for him to continually forget. Or the lackluster pecks he gave you, making you feel pathetic.

Although feeling unwanted, you weren't a resentful person, so you would religiously sit in the stands at every game and witness how he gained fan's hearts with outstanding performances on the pitch, earning the title of man of one of the champions league matches and you loved how the stadium echoed his name as he made an incredible goal.

You found joy in his happiness, doing his thing with the team of his dreams. In that moment, your mind transported into a different time – those moments when you stood by his side, offering comfort during his moments of self-doubt, back when he believed his dreams would forever be just that – dreams.

His satisfaction meant the world to you. Meeting him as he emerged from the dressing room, already showered, you couldn't help but admire how his wet hair framed his face.

A big smile adorned his face as he approached you. Opening your arms, your bodies collided as he effortlessly lifted you spinning around, creating a whirlwind of laughter that filled the air.

Once he gently set you down, you couldn't contain your pride. Cupping his cheeks, you locked eyes with him. The sense of accomplishment and joy was overwhelming. Your lips met his in a deep, meaningful kiss – one that hadn't been shared in weeks, but in that moment, it felt like the perfect reunion.

You believed this moment marked a fresh start, a much-needed rejuvenation to propel you forward. That optimistic outlook, however, disintegrated after he bid you farewell at your apartment, scrolling through TikTok on your couch, a video of his post-match interview caught your eye, and an involuntary smile crept onto your face.

His voice echoed through the video, captivating in its beauty. The interviewer's final question lingered in the air, "Who are you going to celebrate this with?" Anticipating a mention of teammates, family, and you, you were bewildered as the final words left his mouth – your name conspicuously absent.

And in that instant, the realization struck: he hadn't kept his promise to do a heart gesture to include you in his celebration either. But you decided to let it slide; perhaps it was the adrenaline coursing through his veins that caused him to forget, and you were willing to overlook it.

You turned on the TV to avoid your thoughts. He no longer watched movies with you, and lately, the time you spent together felt like his phone held more allure than anything you did to catch his attention.

Without even mentioning that he wasn't fucking you lately, offering excuses of exhaustion from training or unexpectedly halting any progress when things got heated and leaving your folds wet.

But still, your mouth stayed shut, justifying every action. What you didn't know is that only one drop was missing in the glass before it overflowed – the last straw.

And eventually, the bomb exploded in the least suitable scenario. You stood by his side, his arm around your waist, desperately wanting to take his hand out and shout your feelings in front of everyone.

You didn't want to be there; you longed to be at home with your fluffy cat, who offered more comfort than Fermín did in these past months.

He was so smooth about it, engrossed in the conversation with his friends, seemingly oblivious to your distress. You whispered in his ear that you needed to get home, you weren’t feeling at your best, the strobe lights blinding you, the music pulsating louder than your heartbeat. It felt like water was reaching your nose, and you feared you'd stop breathing any moment.

Yet, you stayed, like a naive girl striving to make everything perfect for her lovely gentleman. But was still that gentleman who put you above all else?

The voices and laughter from his friends overwhelmed you. While you genuinely liked them and had never encountered an issue before, this night seemed a challenge you couldn't survive.

Your gaze darted around, hoping for a savior amid the sea of faces. But there was no one.

The air seemed to get thinner, and your chest constricted, as if locked in a slowly tight embrace. The blue dress discomforting your skin, felt like an additional layer of confinement, fantasizing to shed not only the fabric but also the skin beneath.

It was as if transparent walls were materializing around you, and this was the moment to escape a place to which you didn't belong, feeling like a misplaced puzzle piece, you watched him again with pleading eyes, silently urging him to notice you.

“Fer, really, I need to go home.” You whispered, careful not to let his friends overhear. He scanned your gestures, it took him a few seconds to realize that something about you was off. You wish he had seen it earlier.

Everything he did was later than you needed it, when he did the things, you have already fixed yourself into the uncomfortable.

“Okay, let's go.” He nodded and he finally took out his hand off your waist, allowing a momentary exhale. Greetings were exchanged with his friends and you reciprocated, not wanting to show an impolite image.

Almost running, your feet propelled you outside of the disco, pushing people out of your way, without waiting for Fermín.

The doors swung shut behind you, plunging the abrupt silence upon your ears. Relief washed over you.

Closing your eyes, you took deep breaths. You needed to hold yourself like the grown woman you were and not cry. As the doors swung open and closed again, you turned to find Fermín, a frown etched across his face.

“Why didn't you wait for me?” his voice held a trace of anger, making you shiver. Realizing the street wasn't the place for such a conversation, you began walking towards the car, your feet aching from the high heels worn that night.

He hurried to catch up, the tension palpable. When the car alarm reached your ears, signaling it was unlocked, you opened the door and entered as quickly as you could.

Sitting there, attempting to adjust to sudden silence, you sensed his presence beside you.

Leaning back into the headrest, you brought your hands on your face.

He started talking again. “What's going on you?” you hesitated to face him, reluctant to confront those expressive brown eyes you memorized like the back of your hand.

As he insisted again to hear a response, anger got to your head. Without warning, you exploded, all the carefully restrained words meant to preserve your relationship pouring into a torrent.

“I'm just so damn exhausted! I feel like I'm invisible. I ache to be seen, to matter in your eyes again. I’ve been here, baring my soul, and it feels like you're a million miles away.” Your scream echoed, tears smudging your makeup. You saw the weight of his actions settling on him as his eyes reflected comprehension. A sob escaped your lips, he stood frozen. “I'm just asking you to hear me, to truly see me, and realize that I'm shattering inside because I've already fought too much alone for the person who I thought I would marry.”

He shook his head, a boy who had always the right words now seemed that they left their mind, leaving him defenseless. A hesitant pause filled the car.

Lips parted, but the sentences seemed to dissipate before finding form. It was as if they were navigating a maze of thoughts, searching for the right words to offer comfort or understanding, yet coming up empty-handed.

You got tired of waiting, you've been doing it for such a long time, you almost felt old. But if he just opened his mouth, you knew you would forgive him. “Let's go home.” You whispered, disappointed about a man who you were calling the love of your life.

He gripped the steering wheel and hit the road. Memories flooded back of the anecdotes shared in that white car, now slipping through your fingers like ash.

You pondered the absence of rain, almost expecting the heavens to open up. Wasn't it obligatory for the sky to weep when something magical began succumbing to rationalism?

When you arrived at the house, he finally was able to speak. “I'm so sorry for everything that I caused you.” He didn't know if physical contact would be well received from you. So he gripped even more the steering wheel, needing to make something with his hands, getting out the tension.

“What happened to us, Fer?” your heart-wrenching question hitting him. You were already talking in past tense.

There wasn't an exit for this situation, and he knew that. He wished he could build a time travel machine and make everything alright, fix the first mistake that led to this big snow ball that was making an avalanche. “I-I don't know.”

“I think I'm coming back to Sevilla.” you confessed, stepping out of the car. Your headache due to the tears that you've been letting out and your eyes were puffy.

As you stood outside the car, the quiet suburban street provided a bleak contrast to the storm raging within your emotions.

Fermín, still gripping the steering wheel, searched for words that could somehow mend the gashes that had formed between you two. The realization of the inevitable distance settled on him like a heavy cloak.

“I never meant for it to come to this,” he finally uttered, voice heavy with remorse. “I let things slip away, and I can't forgive myself for that.”

You, caught between the pain and the need for resolution, gazed at him with a mixture of sorrow and longing. The familiar surroundings of the neighborhood seemed to transform into a backdrop for the end of something significant. You already knew you were never coming back here.

In the distance, a streetlamp flickered, casting intermittent shadows on the pavement. You took a deep breath, the chill in the air stinging your lungs, and said, “Sometimes, we have to go back to move forward.”

His eyes, filled with regret, met yours. “Is there anything I can do to make things right?”

But the answer remained unsaid, it wouldn't be fair to give him instructions and keep rowing and carrying him while he was just there. Wounds were already too deep and your energy was drained.

You turned away, the distance between Sevilla and this quiet street growing smaller in comparison to the emotional gap that now separated you two.

The door creaked shut, marking the end of a chapter that perhaps, in the unfathomable depths of your heart you didn't want to admit that you anticipated it.

In the solitude of your apartment, surrounded by echoes of shared laughter and the ghost of a love that once flourished, you confronted the daunting task of rebuilding your world. The faint glow from the streetlamp outside cast a melancholic light on the remnants of what was.

Fermín, still parked, felt the shared years withering in the blink of an eye, something you had been discerning for a torturing amount of time. The engine hummed softly, an averse companion to the lingering regret in the air. As he drove away, the distance between your hearts seemed insurmountable.

You watched as Blaugrana, your Calico fluffy cat, approached you unawarely of everything surrounding her, you sat on the wooden floor with her purring next to you. The sparkle of her collar made you remember how your life was bound to be lived with Fermín forever, in that collar your initials were carved. You didn't want to fall back to this cruel reality.

You even commanded yourself to religion to save your relationship, months before. Night after night, you poured the essence of your yearning into prayers addressed to Aphrodite, beseeching her to weave the threads of love and passion back into your relationship, to restore its former glory. Each whispered plea carried the weight of your sincere desire, a desperate hope that the goddess of love might heed your call and guide your connection to the blissful days of yore.

But even that didn't work. And you realized the hug of what you thought would be a fresh start unraveled into the deceptive clarity of terminal lucidity. Now you would hear the eternal melancholic tone of the complete loss of vital signs. Forever.

[electric-blorbos]

hi!! I hope this isn't too much, feel free to decline if it is, but could I ask for Wheatley and Edgar with a reader who gets panic attacks? Also if they get them more physically tbh like . dizziness and rapid heartrate and such. I feel like they'd be confused at first but then be such sweethearts about it 😭 Edgar dimming the lights and playing soft music...

OMG yes! And that's not too much at all! You are loved and appreciated, anon! I know these posts are taking a little while since I got kinda involved in some other stuff, but I love you dearly. Don't ever forget that.

AI with a reader who gets panic attacks

Included: Edgar and Wheatley

Edgar:

It was a pretty normal day for Edgar. You had left for work, so he was passing the time by watching some soaps until you got back that evening.

When you got back from work, though, you seemed much more stressed than usual. You paced agitatedly back and forth in the living room, muttering to yourself.

"Hey, are you ok?" Edgar asked, his voice a bit higher than usual because of nerves.

"I'm FINE!" you snapped back, chewing on your lip and worrying at the hem of your shirt. Edgar's screen immediately turned off shyly. Your phone started ringing, and you picked it up with a shaking hand.

"hello? Yeah- yeah- sorry, I can't really talk right now." It was your boss, but you didn't quite hear what she was saying. Your ears started rushing pretty quickly, and you hung up the phone.

"AAAAAAAUGHHHHH!" You couldn't help it. You just let out a scream of anger and frustration, and dropped to your knees. Your whole body was shaking from the adrenaline coursing through you, and tears were starting to run down your face. Edgar's face appeared on his screen again with a frown, and he watched you sobbing on the floor. You didn't notice. the entire world was spinning around you, and you could barely focus on anything at all. All you could really do was scream and cry.

After a few minutes, Edgar's nervous voice cut through the rushing in your ears.

"Y/N?"

"Edgar?" You'd forgotten he was there, even though it wasn't like he was going anywhere. He'd been sitting on his desk in your living room for months now.

"It's me. Do you want to talk?" you could see a Google search open on his screen for "friend screaming and crying help"

You hiccuped a little, and grabbed for some tissues to wipe your eyes and blow your nose.

"no- no, I don't think so. I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Edgar- I'm sorry-" you hid your face in your arms and curled up, the world spinning around you. Edgar turned the lights down so you didn't have to hide your face so much. Now all you could see was the green glow of his screen softly illuminating your living room.

"Do you need some cold water?" He asked hesitantly, really trying to help.

"No! No choices, please. Just- just talk to me, ok?"

"Talk to you? About what?"

"I don't care! Just anything, ok?"

"Alright. Do you want to hear about the soap operas I'm watching?" He asked. You nodded, and he started a rambling description of a soap opera he was listening to with a soft piano tune playing in the background. He knew that you sometimes asked him to play soft piano music when you were going to sleep, so he hoped it would calm you down now, too. Eventually, you managed to relax a little bit and lie down on the ground to listen to Edgar talking.

Admittedly, you stayed on the ground a little longer than you needed to. It was kind of nice to just listen to Edgar rambling about his shows to you.

Wheatley:

Your day wasn't going according to plan. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and you could barely get any work done. After a while, you couldn't take it anymore. Your blood was pounding in your ears, your eyes were starting to go fuzzy, everything was spinning, and you could barely think straight.

The only thing you could think to do was sprint out of your office area and run down to the relaxation vaults. Those were always pretty empty apart from the test subjects, so you'd at least have a little privacy. You pushed into an empty vault, crumpling into a ball behind the bed.

Wheatley was doing his usual rounds when he saw you running into the vault. He watched you crumple into a ball behind the bed, hyperventilating and sobbing, but didn't say anything for a few minutes as to not frighten you. After a while, he made a little "ahem" sound to alert you to his presence."

"AAAAA!" You jumped, and threw the vault pillow at him in shock. He took it in the face.

"understandable. Are you alright, love? What's going on?"

You hiccuped a little bit, looking around in panic as you tried to focus on the little blue-eyed personality core. It was difficult to understand what he was saying. You shook your head, and muttered something incoherent about what was going on.

"gonna need you to repeat that, love."

You kept rambling, going on several long-winded tangents about what had happened to you that day, and what was bothering you. By the end, you were hyperventilating and repeating the same sentence over and over again. Wheatley moved over to you, hanging down from the ceiling so he could see you as well as possible.

"Hey, love, it's going to be ok. Nobody comes in here except for me, alright?" He turned the lights down, and watched you hyperventilating.

"hey, why don't you reflect briefly on this classical music?" He turned on the classical music piece, which played for a few seconds before the buzzer sounded. You jumped.

"right... Right, that's not going to help, is it. Something else... Something else..." He looked around the room, and his lens landed on the painting on the wall

"What if-?"

You shook your head again. You knew that if you looked at the art, you'd just hear another buzzer that would shake you up again. Wheatley started to panic, eventually just detaching himself from his management rail and landing on the ground next to you with an "oof" sound. You reached over, picking him up and holding him close. This was.... Nice.

[theforestwisperings]

Colentine headcanons for the soul 🌾

Hi uhm I didn't have anything to say like a justification

I just want to write something of the sillies being affectionate with each other

Disclaimer: this are headcanons!

This is NOT CANON and doesn't have the intention of spread misinformation. If you want to know more about yaelokre's world, check their social medias!

Also, don't took this too seriously, my dear.

Cole is the sensitive one. They really Preserve any little detail that clémentine gives to them. Flowers? They dry it just to having that in their notebooks. Letters? Have a special place to Guard that. Sometimes, when they feel overwhelmed, they Read and see all the little details

Cole Love language? Affirmation words. They truly fell loved when clémmie says that they're the "most brilliant mind" that they know, or when they say that they did everything so well

They also love to make acts of service ( in general, with any lark) but one of the most cute habits that clémmie and them is brushing each other hair. Surprisingly, cole have a soft hand to Untangle clémmie hair (a/n:the curse of the curls LMAO) . Clémmie loves to braid their hair. Sometimes they put flowers onto cole's hair, and say some little words like “you are perfect”, “you're everything that i love”(im going to write something like this I promise)

Clémmie gives cole a little hand made hare plush because "it reminds me of you!" (That was with all the intention posible)

Cole try to make a goat plush to clémentine. They failed miserably in the process but clémmie have it anyway

Cole learns origami and gives clémmie an origami goat that they preserve. If someone touches the little goat, clémm goes mad

The first lark that notice the cole and clémm feelings was Kingsley. Being so close to clémm, they heard every single thinking of clémentine (tbh they don't have any option) and sometimes they are around cole when they daydream constantly about clémmie

Talking about being honest with emotions, both have difficults to admit that they are really falling in love.

Talking about daydreaming. Before being honest with their emotions, cole was always in their world, that world when they was bravery enough to express themselves.

Cole Loves cuddles. But they never say that openly (is too shy) clemm, in the other case, loves give everyone cuddles (but the special ones are always for cole)

Cole fall in love first, clémm do it harder.

Cole Gets flustered easily. Even their own thinkings are capable of making them so shy. Clémmie is more Affective, that's true, but they have some cute details with cole

Cheek kisses, forehead kisses. Cute kisses all around. When they have an stage presentation. They front foreheads as a little “good luck kiss”

Sleep together. Cole really enjoys the heartbeat of Clem and hugs them so much. Clémentine loves giving them kisses in their hair.

Talking about sleeping together, the body temperature of Cole is so low, instead clemm have a warm body

Cole smells like vanilla. And clémentine loves that. Clémentine smells like lavender. That calms a lot to cole (and ofc they love that)

Portraits of each other>>>>

Clémentine loves to send cole Scented letters

AAAAAAH I'm promise that I'm going to share some Perrine and Kingsley fraternal headcanons. Im writing this in my lunch time with mum. UHHH I love this two. My health get better! Not dizziness anymore!!!1!

Autor notes:

HELLO LONG POST🐈

I know that there's some headcanons that are too long, my apologies

Today I'm going to cut my hair. I'm going to make a little change

Live laugh love colentine 🐐🐇

—affectionate headbumps, Calli 🐐✨

[lunemai]

Mamihlapinatapai

(n.) A look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something they both desire but which neither want to begin.

w: toxic depiction of Luke & y/n, toxic, toxic, reader wants Luke to "man up" (?), smut, no protection, very dirty tbh. angst. not very happy ending, AFAB!Reader.

You should be Stronger Than Me You been here seven years longer than me

"Seriously?"

Don't you know you supposed to be the man Not pale in comparison to who you think I am

"I'm talking to you."

You always wanna talk it through, I don't care I always have to comfort you when I'm there But that's what I need you to do, stroke my hair

"You need to communicate with me, y/n, this won't work otherwise."

'Cause I've forgotten all of young love's joy Feel like a lady, and you my lady boy-

-"What won't work?" I say with a raised eyebrow as the music coming from my radio fades out into the background.

he sighs and shakes his head in frustration.

"You know." he mutters "No, actually, I don't. Why don't you enlighten me, Luke?" he stares at me, and after a few seconds, he gulps.

"That's what I thought." it's maddening, this dance we do, each step hesitant, every glance loaded with unspoken words. i'm not asking for the world, am I? I'm asking for a man who can look me in the eye and declare what he wants, what he needs, what he feels.

Luke, with all his bravado and charm, is just a boy hiding behind his own shadow, the reputation of "golden boy" everyone has given him. he puts on this facade of "strength", of decisiveness, of leadership, but when when it comes to us, he falters.

He's afraid. "You're a coward." I whisper. I know he heard me.

he shakes his head, "What do you want me to say?"

I too, shook my head, not like him, he shakes his to rid himself of the words that want to come out of his mouth. I shake mine to stop the tears from swelling in my eyes.

"please," I say beg, is this what its come to? I'm pathetic. this is pathetic.

his eyes, those brown homey eyes, they fill with the same feelings he's just heard in my voice.

he walks up to me, and places a hand to my cheek, caressing my lips with his thumb.

I take a breath, I want to inhale him, I want to live within him. I know what we’re doing, what this is leading up to, how it’ll end, but I dont care anyways, i’m selfish and I take all that he gives me.

his grip on my face tightens as he leans down to place his forehead against mine.

Without another word, Luke closes the remaining distance, his lips crushing down on mine with hunger.

I moan into his mouth, my hands tangling in his curly hair pulling him closer. It’s like I can taste the frustration and desire on his tongue.

Luke's large hands roamed over my body, cupping my breasts and squeezing them roughly through my top. I arched into his touch, my nipples hardening instantly at his caress. I pull at his shirt, wanting to feel him against my sensitive skin.

Breaking the kiss, Luke basically ripped his shirt off over his head, baring his muscular torso.

My hands move to the waistband of his pants. "Don't hold back anymore, Luke," I say, popping the button on his jeans.

He stepped forward, pressing my back against the wall, his mouth capturing one hard nipple as his hand slid between my legs. I cried out, my head falling back as he suckled and teased my sensitive peak. His fingers slipping easily inside me as he begins to thrust them in and out.

"You're so fucking wet for me, baby," Luke growled against my breast, his thumb circling my swollen clit. "You have no idea how good you me feel."

"Oh, God, Luke..." I gasp, my hips bucking against his hand. "Don't stop... please, right there."

Luke smiles against my skin, his fingers working their magic as he brings me closer and closer to the edge. My breath came in short gasps, my body trembling with the effort of holding back the sound of my orgasm, he doesn’t deserve them, i’ve decided. But Luke has other plans, slowing his movements just as I was about to fall over the precipice.

"Not yet, baby," he murmured, kissing a path down my stomach. "I want to taste you first."

Before I could respond, Luke is on his knees before me pulling down my shorts along with my underwear all the way, his tongue tracing slow, lazy circles around my clit. I cried out, my hands tangling in his hair as he laps at me greedily, as if savoring the taste of my arousal. He sucks my swollen bud into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, then delves lower, thrusting his tongue deep inside my hot, wet core.

"Oh, fuck..." I moaned, my hips bucking uncontrollably as Luke basically devours me. "Luke, please... don't stop. I'm so close."

Sensing my impending release, Luke inserts two fingers into my tight channel, curling them to hit my G-spot as he sucks hard on my clit. I cried out, again, my body shaking as a powerful orgasm rips through me. "Luke... oh, God, I'm cumming-"

Luke didn't let up, riding out my orgasm as he continues to lick and suck at my sensitive bud. my legs trembled as I ride the waves of pleasure, my juices flowing onto his tongue. Finally, he eases me down gently, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses up my body.

I ran my fingers lightly over his scar, the only “imperfection” on his otherwise perfect body, I feel him shudder beneath my touch.

With a growl, Luke lifts me, pressing my back against the wall of my cabin as he positions his cock at my entrance. Slowly, he slides into me, filling me completely. I moan, my head falling back as I savored the feel of him stretching me, claiming me as his.

Luke began to move, his hips snapping as he set a relentless pace. I meet his thrusts with equal fervor, my nails digging into his shoulders as I urge him on. The sound of our flesh slapping together filled the room, along with our grunts and moans of pleasure.

"Fuck, Y/n, you feel so damn good," Luke grit out, his eyes screwed shut as he struggled for control.

I cried, my legs wrapping around his waist. "Go deeper, harder.”

Spurred on by my demands, Luke thrust harder, his cock plunging deep into my welcoming heat. The force of his movements sent me bouncing against the wall, my breasts jiggling with each powerful stroke. our bodies glistened with sweat, the air thick with the scent of sex as we moved in perfect rhythm.

My breath quickened as I feel another orgasm building deep within my core. Luke senses it too, his movements becoming more urgent as he chased his own release. Our eyes locked, filled with raw, passionate desire, as we moved together, lost in our pure, unadulterated pleasure.

My walls clenched around him, my body shaking as a powerful orgasm rips through me. my nails dig into his back.

Luke groans, with a few more powerful thrusts, he buries himself deep inside me, his cock pulsing.

Panting, we stayed locked together for a moment, savoring the intensity of our release. Until it all comes back.

slowly he puts me down, our breaths still rigid, it doesn’t take more than 2 minutes for him to start dressing himself.

I scoff.

he sighs and steps closer to me, to dress me, I suppose, sweet right? “Y/n-” “No.” I say firmly.

Hurriedly I dress myself, because I need him don’t need him. I don’t want him. I don’t need him.

“You’re afraid.” Afraid of what we could be, of what it would mean to finally admit that this, whatever this is, matters. “Afraid of what?” he says with reluctance, he knows what.

I think, for a few moment, and finally I come to a conclusion. I nod at myself reassuringly.

“Y/n?” he says in his all sweet and soft voice.

“I want.” I start hesitantly, “I want more, I want you to make up your mind, I want you to be a man, stop whatever the fuck this is Luke.” I meet his eyes.

His face softens, and he lets out a breath through his nose.

“I’m giving you a day, a day to decide. we can meet in the Lake, tomorrow at 6.” I say with precision and walk past him toward my cabin door.

I open the door and turn to him, he stands there staring at me, with an expression I surprisingly can’t read. I nod my head towards the door.

He stares at me for another 5 seconds before making his way to me.

he looks at me with this deep look, as if he was mesmerizing my face, as if he’d never see me again.

finally, he nods, at what i’m not sure, and then he leaves. I close the door behind him.

I take off one of my headphones and sit at the edge of the lake, wrapping my arms around my legs, not quite touching the water.

They told me he was bad, but I knew he was sad That's why I fell for the leader of the pack

I sense him before I see him. it’s a moment before he sits next to me.

He sort of smiled, then kissed me goodbye The tears were beginning to show As he drove away on that rainy night

I’m tired of waiting, of hoping he’ll be the one to break the silence. I’m tired of playing this game where we both lose because neither of us has the courage to make the first move. I know what I want. I know what I deserve. And it’s not this.

He needs to man up, to be the bigger man I know he can be. He needs to stop hiding behind his fears and take a stand. Because I can’t keep waiting forever. I won’t. I deserve someone who isn’t afraid to show their cards, who isn’t afraid to lay it all on the line for a chance at something real.

If Luke can’t do that, then maybe he’s not the man I thought he was. And that thought, that possibility, is what hurts the most. Because I see glimpses of that man in him, in those fleeting moments when his guard is down, and I want so desperately for him to step up, to prove me right.

I turn my head to look at him. staring at him for a few seconds, he knows what i’m thinking.

come on, say something.

silence.

But until he does, until he can find the courage to be more, we’re stuck in this torturous limbo. And I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can hold on, waiting for a man who might never come.

request are much obliged.

songs are listed below! 💋

[dollya-robinprotector]

FINALLY! DOLLYA CONCEPT

I'll have a little look back and remember how I came up with this current Sona design. The me of 2021 definitely would look at this and go "WTF???". When I search and place old drawings side by side for comparison, It's really been a process of changing my perspective on myself and constantly finding what I want.

It'll be very random and full of my old drawings, so if you don't mind a little rambling, welcome to go under the cut and go back in time with me!

Let's start with this design. As you can clearly see it was based on how I actually look irl, from the outfit, hairstyle to make-up.

Tbf this was not my first attempt to create a Sona, but it was a huge milestone because it's 2018, the year I got into my dream Art university and left home. My style completely changed, and this Sona showed it perfectly.

I drew this with my fingers, on my broken phone, to enter a Vietnamese clothes design competition, where we modernized some traditional clothes. What I did here is a modernized Nhật Bình. I won and got my design made into real clothes and sent to me. I'm still proud of it to this day XD

It was fun! I draw her almost daily, like how I do with Lya and Lyah in this blog. I used her to make friends with other artists. I even created a gender-bent version for her : D

But the uni life was stressful, especially when I entered my third year and tried to escape my parents' grasp. They were furious and threatened me, I started working extra and do commission to pay for my own living and rent, lessons were hard, and homework and projects were pilling,... As a result, I often use my sona to stress draw.

It didn't help much, my anxieties and insecurities kept adding to the molten fire inside me, and my overthinking got worse day by day.

But then at some point, I decided to separate myself from that sona. She turned into one of my many OCs, maybe more special but I no longer see my entire self in her anymore.

I have to thank my two besties for that. They pulled me out of my darkest moments and stayed with me. They remain to be my only two most important people in this whole world.

I started to "reuse" the sona appearance into creating many other OCs for many other fandoms I joined (Cookierun, HnK, FGO, KnY, Genshin,...). I had fun jumping between different styles lol.

The idea for the current design started to take shape when one day I drew her wearing a white delicate dress (I usually just do red) and a see-through sleep dress I just bought.

Something started clicking.

Then I became an assistant for an Ero Artist. Yup. I started to be exposed to more "sexy" character designs and tbh I just love those. I love drawing female characters already, but there's something something about cute and sexy girls in lingerie... If you know what I mean.

The design slowly became clearer. Cute and pristine-white, see-through lingerie, with little four petals flowers, and little bows, perfect.

The details still varied. They depended on the style I was using or my mood, whether I wanted to go into details or not. That's the fun of drawing your own design, let's keep it.

And here we are~ Maybe it's still not final, but I'm happy with it, and that's enough for me now!

If you've been reading this far, thank you and congratulations! I will send you a kiss and wish you a good day~~ Hope you're having fun scrolling on my blog~

[the-rainbow-lesbian]

if you're a new follower of mine or just don't know who I am and where I am coming from: hi! I am a middle eastern arab woman who is seeking asylum in a western country. I am an atheist ex-muslim lesbian and I left my family, my home, and country because it was not safe for me to stay and I wanted to live authentically according to my own values and who I am. a lot of people said I am brave for what I did but tbh I really didn't have any other choice, I didn't choose any of this like how I didn't choose to be born in the middle east to a muslim family.

I avoided talking about islam and ex-muslim issues even though I passively engage with content made by ex-muslims, because I wanted to move on with my life and not risk it by attaching my face and name to any activism related to being an ex-muslim, but after october 7th I realized that it isn't really as simple as putting physical distance between myself and islamic terrorism/islamofascism because it is making itself comfortable on my doorstep, and our jewish neighbors and friends don't feel safe anymore. antisemites cheered on the biggest massacre against jews since the holocaust, and jews didn't have time to mourn or comprehend the tragedy before they needed to put on defenses against the mob who want to destroy the only country in the world that will protect them. speaking out against antisemitism in this small blog is consistent with everything I believe in as a human being and I don't know why that surprised a lot of people who think of themselves as anti-racists tbh, and this became even more personal to me cause I have a loved one who is jewish and I would very much like them to stay safe and not be bombarded with daily reports of antisemitic hate crimes and worry that they or their family and community are next.

I know that I can't ever go home in my lifetime and that it isn't a safe place for me. I also perfectly understand where hamas is coming from in terms of religious endgoals for their group and why they do the things they do, I support the right of all innocent people to live safely and freely, but you can't guarantee your individual human rights under an islamic fascist state, this is something that people in the west don't understand because they take their rights and liberties for granted and are blinded by their privilege, they don't seem to grasp that others fight so hard just to live as they do. they also don't seem to understand that things can and will get worse if they don't wake up soon. they can absolutely extend their support to people in the middle east, but they are being very disrespectful and racist when they parrot slogans instead of actually understanding the region and its complexities.

[channelinglament]

Hi! I saw your ask as open and I wanted to request something for the Self aware Project Sekai AU you made :)

May I request how the Vocaloids react to the player? Like, how would they become self aware? We’re they self aware to begin with? Thank you :)

How vocaloids react to player ✨️

(Sorry everyone for being gone for so long, I was just emotionally exhausted and had a few angsty teen thoughts)

Platonic/Romantic - tbh idk? Depends on how u take it :^

Let's start off with the fact, that they all know know that they're not exactly their original counterparts

Yes, they are vocaloids, but..different? They're in game, nothing new for Miku- but it seems like it's their first time being alive. They know it's their voice, their songs but it just..feels weird?

- though this mostly applies to Miku, as she's the first one to greet us and has her..original form?

She knows it's her, but different her.

- I wanna say that I see all sekai vocaloids as different people, BECAUSE during April fools, THEY MET EACH OTHER and uhm- I'd recommend watching that video to understand what happened. They kinda became friends, and 25ji Rin liked wxs Kaito's (or what Kaito that was?) head pats. She was waiting for her Kaito to arrive.

SO that means they are ALL different.

Now, that we finally sorted out what was important, we can finally make some content

Hatsune Miku(s)!

The Miku that greets us:

She knows she is Miku, but she doesn't have knowledge of stuff outside the game. She is a sekai keeper, and keeps hopes and dreams of every vocaloid producer. But...She is unsure if this true. Some stuff happened before she even existed! (Games existence)

So she knows she isn't exactly the first Miku. But Miku anyways.

She was staying there all alone, for so long.. (game downloading)

Yes, she loved watching over sekais, but..it's not like she has anyone..

So when she first meets you! She is so excited to make a friend! She says you're a sekai watcher like her, because you two "sang" (aka you playing tutorial)

Whether you played bad or good didn't matter. She liked it.

She didn't wanna lose you, but it's not like you're leaving her. Your presence is always near her when you play and read stories/events.

She doesn't see you often, unless you're pulling for characters or there's an event/sth she needs to explain to you.

She's such a little tease, not giving you card you want if she knows you have more pulls. Don't worry, she will give you it, but just pull one/few more times please.. she doesn't want to be alone anymore.

First though when she met you: I am not alone anymore?

Sekai Mikus

As long as you won't harm others she's fine!

She is very cautious when it comes to [band's name]. They're her 1st priority.

At first she thought you are just there to watch over them, but she noticed you actually help them improve (I hc that by playing their songs, decorating sekai, grooving their cards and kizuna level you can make them better and improve them)

Aww, thank you so much! You are a great help!

.

.

.

.

.

Overtime all vocaloids became kinda obsessive over you? They want you to play their band's songs and care mostly, if not ONLY about them and their band! Yes, they're grateful you helped them improve, but they will bring you into their world, and you will make it real. Not just a game, but a R E A L, LIVING WOLRD. NO NPCS, NO GAME CODE

Until then, everyone is just a piece of cra- I mean, code. Your word also seems so dangerous... that's why they need to protect you from world's harm!

Not gonna lie, EVERY other vocaloid acts this way, so I'll end it here, sorry ^^; (Maybe I will make a part 2?)

But trust me, beware of Niigo and MMJ the most.... both, vocaloids and group

^ them when u interact with other groups

(Also beware of Tenmas, and Shinonomes. You can kinda trust Hinomoris)

[macsimagines]

Hello OP! I've been reading your writing lately and May I ask for a request ,about yandere mikey and you're favorite character but yandere, with headcanon about a willing darling?

Sorry if it's a bit difficult, :3

And remember to eat, sleep, and drink water ♡

ASK BOX IS OPEN

(tbh my fave type of darling is a willing one lmao)

Yandere!Mikey

Being a willing darling just makes thing easier. You're definitely an enabler for Mikey's dark impulses, but at least he never feels the need to take it out on you.

If you're a willing darling in Tokyo Manji Gang, then you're his wifey, his ol' ball and chain. He's pretty lax with you and while he is certainly possessive and constantly demanding your attention he's not going out of his way to make your life a living hell. He doesn't like your friends, but he lets you keep them around. he hates others talking or looking at you but he knows you need the interaction. Just respond to his 100+ messages a day and give him constant attention and you'll be fine.

Kanto Manji Gang? You're screwed. You just willingly signed up to be his human teddy bear. He takes you everywhere and almost never leaves you alone. He wants to bathe together, eat together, sleep together. If someone so much as breaths in your direction they've earned a one way trip to the hospital. His phone number is the only one in your cellphone. Not that it matters because you're always together.

Bonten Mikey you're pretty much the worlds most secure housewife. It's almost like playing pretend. He comes home after a long grueling day at work, killing people, and there you are with dinner and the sweetest smile on your face. You use the house phone and the line only goes to Mikey's personal work phone and cell phone, you're allowed to go the buildings rooftop garden and gym provided you're followed by his most trusted men. Sometimes, as a special privilege's, you get to go to work with him. Which just means you're just sitting on his lap while he's in a meeting. Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

My husband and one true love. The fact that you were willing to date him was a miracle, but you being a willing darling? *Chef's kiss*

He adores you and worships the ground you walk in. Showers you in kisses, affection and cheesy pickup lines. Honestly it's almost like a normal relationship. Except for the fact that he asks weird things.

"Can you not leave the house this week, I've got a weird feeling," or "Maybe don't get so close to Waka, just looking out," and of course, "You swore you wouldn't look at other guys, remember?"

Then he's talking about things like being able to track your phone, it's because he doesn't trust everyone else not you. Also brings up marriage on a constant basis. You already said yes, but he wants to hear you say it's a great idea at least 20+ times a day.

He needs yes yes yes constantly, any hint of a negative answer and he's freaking out. Don't you love him anymore? What made you hate him now? Are you going to leave? Didn't you promise forever???

[ok-ish-hermitcraft-headcanons]

Just a bunch of species headcanons for the hermits! Also they are all either gods/immortal for fun :)

Xisuma (he/void): Voidwalker prince. Knows he's immortal. One of the oldest immortals

Grian (he/parrot/chirp/they): Parrot hybrid, Head/First Watcher. Minor god of chaos. Has lived a thousand lives. Treats YHS as a joke because why not?

Mumbo (he/him): Half Watcher, minor blood god. Does not know he's a god. Eats redstone for fun, scares his friends because of it.

Scar (he/it/vex): Vexling elf (Vex with allay magic). Does not know he's a god. Was born in Riverdale, kidnapped at a young age.

Pearl (she/her): Half-Watcher/moth hybrid. Also knows she's a god, actually likes the Watchers.

Impulse (he/they/yellow): Demon. Very much knows he's immortal, wishing that he isn't because he doesn't want to watch his brothers die. One of the oldest hermits

Tango (he/magma/they): Netherborn avian, Listener hybrid. Party knows he's a god. His Listener traits aren't visible and more of a development from the experience that was his high school to keep him fucking alive

Zed (he/void/wool): Harbinger of the Nether. Knows he's immortal. Looks like a basic sheep hybrid but also has demon wings and black blood!

Gem (she/her): Faun. Thinks she might be a god but it would mean her brothers aren't. Also has magic and can world-hop!

Etho (whatever vibes work for you): Voidling (Voidborn changeling), Watcher. Knows he's a god, could care less. First player turned Watcher. One of the first players

Iskall (they/he/she + some neos): Cyborg (also something else. I don't fucking know anymore). Doesn't care about gods, marked by the God of the Hunt.

Doc (he/it/blast): Creeper/goat/cyborg. Can and will fight the gods, Xisuma hopes that he doesn't find out he is immortal (he knows).

Ren (he/pup/they): Wolf-shifter. Knows he's the god of the Hunt. Idk this dude is cool

Bdubs (he/sun/sky): Glare/phantom hybrid, also has a connection to plants. God of the sun and flaunts it. Also is a full blooded Listener

Stress (she/leaf/spring): Nature spirt. Knows that she's immortal. Looks like a cinnamon roll, would kill you.

False (she/wing/they): Avian, with golden eagle wings. Does know she's a god, could care less.

Cleo (she/they/rot): Zombie hybrid. Knows she's immortal. Spites her old friends by getting attached to Joe. Also one of the oldest players

Joe (any pronouns): Angel of life. Known immortal. Just vibing with the soul he was meant to harvest.

Jevin (he/it/slime): Slime hybrid. Doesn't know he's immortal. Honestly idk much about him

Cub (he/it): Allayling (allay with vex magic.). Doesn't know he's a minor god. Claims to be a vex for fun.

TFC (he/ender): Ender dragon hybrid. Knows he's a god. Brothers with Notch and Herobrine.

Beef (he/they/it): Cow hybrid. Doesn't know he's immortal. He is basically just existing. Gotta love it.

Keralis (they/he/black/empty): Watcher!. Knows he's immortal. I also know next to nothing about this dude

Xb (he/river/fish/they/it): Guardian hybrid. Doesn't know he's a god. Idk fish

Hypno (he/they): Fire sprit. Could care less about being immortal.

Wels (he/him): Angel hybrid. Knows he's immortal. Hates being an angel because they are a bunch of stuck up beings.

----

Bonus (5) Helsmits:

Ex (he/they/void/end): Voidwalker prince, 2/3 Watcher. Yeah knows their immortal

Hels (they/it/he/fire/blaze/hell): Fallen angel/Watcher. Same as Wels tbh. But 10x worse because Wels escaped and Hels suffered.

Badtimes (he/blue/xe/they): Allayling! Also a Listener! Just vibing :D

Xornoth (they/it/red/dark/vine/he): Demonic elf! Demigod and just out there living vines life

Grain/Ariana Griande (she/it/chirp): Watcher! She knows it's immortal! (trans mtf not important to the hybrid sheet but important to me <3)

I went nuts with pronouns the rest of the helsmits have so much more I'm holding myself back bc I'm being forced to bed :( - 🔮🍄

fun!!

(also i’m so sorry this is from jan 2023)