#tbh the adhd and distraction isn’t helping

[freckleslikestars]

4 and a half hours of tracked time and I’ve only got 22 out of 140 squares finished. How do people go fast with art because like…I’m not being particularly detailed with this but by god is it time consuming.

[thatadhdfeel]

I ACCIDENTALLY SUBMITTED MY POST. Because i have stupid fingers. Continued…

-knowing your brain - for me, my brain learns best from 5pm - 1am. Which is nuts and people think I’m insane but also i am, but most importantly it works for me.

-know your memory. Studies show that people with ADHD have excellent quick recall and/or sensory memory (minutes to hours in the past), and good long term memory (think weeks to months in the past) , butttt our short term/working memory leaves lots to be desired (think days to about 2 weeks). This means in order to be able to have the info available to you in an exam, you need to have actually encoded it in your brain over time. Cramming does work…sometimes, because you’re putting the info up front. But there’s only so much space there for information. It’s unreliable.

That said, i study long term, small bits every night, every week. Harder/more demanding subjects get more time. And since i have stimulants at hand, i work until they wear off… and then continue through late night without them. If i can perform without my meds and ready to fall asleep, i can perform no matter what (which might seem extreme to others but also the grad program I’m aiming for requires a 3.75 gpa for admittance so…).

With my accounting classes, i read the text, record the lectures (with permission - is a LIFESAVER), and work through problems constantly and i go through them three times - one where i allow myself to check for assistance as i complete them. I mark it, and then do those i got wrong a second time without looking. I mark it, and anything i got wrong the second time i set aside, review that material before bed, and then attempt them the next day. I process new information in my sleep, so by reviewing the info I’m not confident on before sleeping, i can have it pretty well handled the next day. And then once I’ve completed everything and gotten it all right… I go through with new numbers. Or attack the concept from a different angle. Anything to keep it fresh and to thoroughly understand the “why”. Someone can tell me the “how” all they want, but without the why, it will never click.

At exam time, i create a study sheet no more than two nights before to drag the info up into the “relevant” category in my head, and then review that sheet right before the exam to bring it front and center. Then I take a deep breath and head in as soon as i lock my screen.

Test taking itself - earplugs help. A LOT. Comfy clothes. I’m happiest in sweats and a oversized hoodie and tbh, no bra. Not ashamed, because anything that is uncomfortable distracts me from the info on my head. I write down formulas or key concepts immediately, and then read the test through and work it from concepts i know best to concepts i take the most time on (my exams are timed). Usually that goes 1) m/c or short answer that are conceptual, 2) m/c or short answer that are quantitative, and then 3) long answer from strongest to weakest. But that’s not always the order - sometimes a long answer qualitative is so familiar to me that it goes to the front of the line.

Those are my things. Everyone tells me it’s a lot. It is. And that they don’t have time for that…which isn’t true, since i am full time and work two jobs (since i am older). Their priorities are just different. Which is fine! But for me, with a learning disability, that’s what it takes for unchallenged success.

I know it’s a massive wall of text but if you post this i hope it helps someone! And I’m leaving my user visible - if anyone around wants to ask any more questions they’re welcome to :)

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

why I think dick greyson having ADHD would be neat

adhd is a complex disorder that has a multitude of symptoms that present differently in each person, along with there being 3 types there's also commorbidies that can add onto and or obscure the adhd or the other disorder itself, and with this information I think it would be neat to apply this to dick Greyson in a way that stays as in character as a person who barely remembers canon can do.  also I think his adhd would change as it often does to be more subtle as an adult (adult adhd) vs his adhd in childhood and teen years. Hyperactivity: hyperactivity isn't just physical it can also be mental too, racing thoughts and all that, some people say their thoughts run slow instead of fast. I think as a kid dick was probably pretty physically active(and still is lmao) which is one of the recommendations for helping with adhd symptoms, exercise. this would fit bc this dude is an acrobat, so he has an outlet for excessive energy right there. that and ive noted that a lot of people have dick constantly moving. there's also the thing of excessive physical movement, so the whole dick likes to do ten thousand backflips on patrol could link back to that lol.this could also go into stimming, leg bounces, finger/foot tapping, pacing, rubbing things like shirts in repetitive motions etc. this could also go with his inherent chattiness, as this is also a symptom of adhd. along with an inability to be quiet and speaking not when its appropriate or out of turn, blurting things out too, I will say a lot of theses types of symptoms can be explained as “batman training helps mask this shit so hard by like either giving a routine to follow/massive Anxiety that forces him not too on the job”. he would probably Experience a lot of edginess and restlessness in adulthood especially as the hyperactivity can often morph into an underlying sorta energy, maybe it runs under the skin like something alive that wants out, who knows. there's also the lack of a sense of danger and risk taking, and having little to no regaurd for personal safety pr the safety of others. I think this could fit, like what's more risk taking than being a superhero? and the lack of safety for others is another “batman training” moment because you bet your ass other people’s safety was drilled into child dick. and while im not sure bc I know canon about as well as I know what's under the couch, but I think you could work the lack of personal safety in pretty well, as from what ive seen this dude is prone to taking hits for other people(not like one hundred percent confident my memory is dog shit💀) and his whole life style could be in part to the risk taking, not all of it because I also know he wants to help people but it started out as wanting to murder kill a guy, lol. anyway my guy is out here swinging around the city heights with a grappling hook and years of acrobatting. there is another symptom of acting without thinking, and I think this one could be explained in a child--->adult sense. as a kid he was more prone too it, but like I said and probably will keep saying batman training and tbh I think the impulsivity that he would keep a clamp on during his nightjob would probably be more in his day time ventures, not to say I dont think dick wouldn't ever act impulsively as rightwing in fact it probably does happen, here's where I think a thick cocktail of Anxiety caused by adhd and batman training out tag team and have him wildly compensate for that shit. that and I think it would be interesting if rightwing acted a bit impulsive from time to time and had to plan around that on the fly, god knows iv’e had too. there's also extreme impatience, which again bad memory strikes again and I personally have little knowledge on this dudes patience, it might have to be another thing hes just gotten better at with age(like having strategies to help with shit) INATTENTIVE: having a short attention span, or being easily distracted, being unable to stick to tedious or boring tasks, seeming forgetful, losing things, constantly changing the task, being unable to listen and carry out instructions, making careless mistakes, having difficulty organizing and prioritizing tasks, all fall under the “batman training/Anxiety is a bitch” category where I am pretty confident that dick is shown to be able to do a lot of these things, well I bring you  combination of “he has a system for this shit” and “hyperfixation”, I think he could definitely still be an outstanding leader with adhd, he would just need a shit more discipline to run it well, because he would have to work around these symptoms in particular which you can its just tiring. and as such I think he would exhibit these symptoms more in his day time life, I just think it would help make for a greater contrast between dick Greyson and nightwing which would help him with his identity security, after all who would suspect dick Greyson is nighwing if nightwing seems so much more on top of the ball than dick? he would have to be super organized for that though which he could pull off with a lot of effort. there's also continually starting new tasks before finishing others, which I feel like, crime is never really over?? so its more like one big task with little task bits with more task bits. honestly nightwing with adhd seeming super on top of things in comparison to dick would be funny to me sorta like an adhd power fantasy gbdfhsnkj. anyway.  OTHER SHIT PEOPLE DONT REALLY TALK ABOUT BUT SUCKS ASS ANYWAY: emotional deregulation!!! wooo!!! impaired ability to regulate emotions and responses to situations which can cause them to be extreme and ill fitting of the situation, like getting really fucking angry! getting fucking despondent! Absolute heart break over something that in hindsight wasn't as bad as you thought fuck man it still sucks! I think this would be another it was way worse in childhood thing for dick, like anger issues and shit, especially as a teen when not only are hormones fucking you up so is the fall out with batman lmao. the dysregulation really fucks with like, what someone can take im saying dick Greyson with adhd could be a more sensitive person. which again I think would be neat bc as he grows up he would have to find work arounds and shit, that or the only shit that really hits is from friends and family, he doesn't give a flying fuck other wise. this is were I bring up RSD the fucking asshole of adhd related shit. Rejecton sensitive dysphoria where upon perceived failure or rejection there's severe emotional damage, it can even feel physical, like a stab through the chest. I think this shit would definitely feed into a positive feed back loop of being angry and hurt at people, and probably sucked extra shit when he fought with bruce (my timeline is a bit fucked ok?) and a lot of times to cope with this people fall under being a people pleaser, or just giving up on people entirely, maybe a combo of the two. there's also mood swings and inability to Control frustration and anger. I feel like this shit would be really hard during teenage years due to events for dick lol. ALSO if he has gone undiagnosed through adulthood he would probably also be suffering from shit like depression, low self esteem, and frustration and irritation. once again additude to the rescue with a handy little bit about untreated adult adhd,  “Adults who have ADHD but do not know it are at much higher risk than the general population for serious problems. Mood disorders, extreme sadness, and anxiety often occur when ADHD goes undiagnosed. Even if these conditions are are treated, the underlying problem, if left untreated, leads to other problems.” undiagnosed adhd is serious especially if you dont get help, you can just end up feeling like a piece of shit who can do anything. that being said I don’t know if dick would ever end up diagnosed with adhd as a kid? adhd is easy to misdiagnose as it has a lot of overlapping symptoms with other disorders, and is highly compatible with serval. I honestly dont have the tightest grasp on Alfred and Bruces characters to know if they would even think of ever getting dick checked for that, I dont mean to assume or anything but they dont really seem like the types to think of mental disorders, I personally feel like it would be a bit of a “oh hes just like that” and a “they dont know what they dont know situation” but a case could be made for dick getting a diagnosis at a younger age, because Batman to my understanding is very open to possibilities. he also just doesn't really strike me as the kind guy who would realize anything is weird about his kid unless it was pointed out? bc tbh I feel like dick would be on that gifted kid grindset which makes it even harder to pick up on the adhd bc your “too smart” to have it which is bullshit by the way. adhd and intelligence are not connected, you an be the smartest kid ever and you would still have adhd. tbh all this shit is working towards the “dick is a workaholic” thing because its a lot of work, and hyper focus would in fact enable this greatly as he would be able go for hours on end with out stopping. that and all the compensation hes doing lol.   here's a list of symptoms I got off of additudemag.com because I know ive missed some. Short attention span, especially for non-preferred tasks Hyperactivity, which may be physical, verbal, and/or emotional Impulsivity, which may manifest as recklessness Fidgeting or restlessness Disorganization and difficulty prioritizing tasks Poor time management and time blindness Frequent mood swings and emotional dysregulation Forgetfulness and poor working memory Trouble multitasking and executive dysfunctionInability to control anger or frustration Trouble completing tasks and frequent procrastination Distractibillity Difficulty awaiting turn MASKING: I 100% believe this guy would mask like hell especially as nightwing, make that masking literal! Probably through a potent mixture of Anxiety, batman training tm, mirroring other people, suppressing stims and impulsivity, stuff like that, and I think the night time masking would make his day time attempts at masking sloppy, because that shit is draining and it would also be really convenient if he had an easy way to distance himself from his nightwing persona. he probably did this as a kid and it got worse(sorry im a sucker for angst but also he probably did to fit in more at school and stuff)  HERES A GOOD ARTICALE ON COMORBIDIES AND ADHD BY ADDITUIDE ONCE AGAIN: https://www.additudemag.com/when-its-not-just-adhd/ I fully believe dick Greyson would get hit with the multi mental disorders, not only from shit hes seen superheroing but bc adhd and people with adhd are more likely to have depression and Anxiety(partly because of Social pressures and some in part to comorbidity)  CONCLUSION BECAUSE ITS GETTING LATE AND IM RUNNING OUT OF STEAM ON THIS LONG ASS POST: I think dick Greyson with adhd would be neat as it could open more avenues to explore with his character, and I like the head canon anyway.   DISCLAIMER I AM NOT A QUALIFIED PRACTICER THIS IS ALL INFORMATION I HAVE GOTTEN FROM MY DOCTOR AND ONLINE RESOURCES SUCH AS  https://www.additudemag.com/ . THAT AND I DO NOT PERSONALLY KNOW DICK GREYSON AND ALL HIS ITERATIONS FROM THE LONG ASS COMIC BOOK RUN, I JUST THINK HE IS NEAT AND I WILL BE TAKING A LOT OF THIS STUFF FROM THINGS I’VE ABSORBED FROM HERE, OR MY MEMORIES OF YOUNG JUSTICE THIS IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL I AM JUST ONE PERSON WHO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO CAN CHANGE AND GROW OVER TIME, IF SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT SORRY LOL IM ALSO JUST DOING THIS FOR FUN

[pianocat939]

Hi! okay, this might be weird, and you can totally ignore this, but do you listen to anything while you write? I write a lot, but have a hard time with silence, but I can't usually listen to the stuff I listen to when I draw(my brain can't compute words while I write unless I'm talking to someone, and people ask too many questions). I love you're writing, and was wondering if you have advice???? Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and for rambling.

tldr: what do you listen to while writing/do you listen to stuff while writing

This isn’t weird at all in fact I would love to give you advice.

Now my situation may be different from your typical writer because I’m a hardcore musician.

I actually don’t listen to a specific genre tbh, I just listen to anything that sounds nice. I don’t even pay attention to the words.

I think the type of music people listen to when writing depends on the person so not everything will fit obviously.

I tend to listen to Splatoon or Eurovision music (they’re funny ok) only because they give me excitement.

Even though I’m a mainly classical musician I really don’t listen to classical other than dramatic ass orchestral music. And people literally say like “listen to classical music to improve focus” which is true, but for me, I can’t get the creative juices without some random songs playing through.

(DO NOT force yourself to listen to classical music because of scientific benefits)

If I were you, I would pick something that you can enjoy.

It can be a playlist about idk whatever you write about or some guy screaming pickle in your ear.

Either way, what really matters is what you get done.

My ADHD makes me do my pacing thingy often times when I’m writing so I get distracted but in the end I still get things done.

So take multiple writing sessions while listening to anything you enjoy and find what fits best.

(This is honestly such shit advice help)

[thathumanleech]

So, i’ve hyperfixated on The Black Phone so i’m now just gonna do some random Vance Hopper headcanons, because why not? (I may or may not be projecting a bit but it’s just a bit of fun so who cares).

- Is absolutely not a morning person but physically cannot sleep in past like 8 AM unless he falls back asleep after waking up. He’s used to being pulled out of his sleep by random noises or shouting or feeling like he’s being watched or whatever so his brain is almost programmed to randomly wake up early for no reason. He has to pass out immediately after waking up otherwise he can’t go back to sleep (or just really fucking struggles with it). He has to get up to switch a light off or shut a door? He has to speak to someone immediately after waking up? That instantly starts waking him up and he cannot fall back asleep, and it’ll piss him off so damn much.

- He can physically feel his rage when he gets angry, doesn’t matter if whatever set it off makes it seem irrational or not. It’s just this explosive, red hot, burning that makes it so he has to do something to get rid of it, either lashing out at other people, random objects (doors, walls, etc) or he’ll turn it on himself in an attempt to do damage control.

- Carrying on from that: when he can, he’ll shut himself away so he’s alone and can’t hurt or damage other things. Because after he’s calmed down, especially if he’s broken things or hurt people, he will just have the most crippling sense of disgust and shame at himself (even if objectively his violence is actually justified). He honestly might just cry slightly, which just makes him angry. Tbh i kinda headcanon him as having IED.

- Absolutely hates milk. Cannot drink just straight milk without being genuinely sick to his stomach. The only way he will drink it is if it’s a banana or bubblegum milkshake.

- He most definitely didn’t grow up in the stablest of households. So, when he was younger and he was trying to avoid arguments or being shouted at, he’d shut himself in his room and blast music at full volume. Music was his escape from everything and most of the time he’d end up pressing his ears almost directly against the speakers to try and dull it out. As well as that, when he’s angry he’ll just blast his music to calm himself down and distract him. This kinda fucked up his hearing by giving him tinnitus but he thinks it was worth it.

- Neurodivergent ™️ ADHD & Autism. Why? Because I said so.

- Very touch starved but so much so that he’s no longer used to physical contact that isn’t somewhat violent or aggressive in nature so he’s very touch averse to anyone that isn’t someone he’s comfortable with/trusts. Hates most light touches, they make his skin crawl unless it’s a very specific situation where he’s alright with something light/softer. Heavy pressure all the way. Loves rough & tumble play fighting.

- Didn’t have a lot of friends growing up and any friends he did have grew distant quickly as his main way of showing affection comes off as quite heavy handed or aggressive. He didn’t really understand why so he just withdrew and refused to have physical contact with anyone he would’ve called a friend as a result. This just added to his touch starved-ness.

- His love language is acts of service. He’s extremely protective over the people he cares about and there’s not much he wouldn’t do for them. Loves to be of some use and help whenever he can.

- In like primary school (its elementary school for America isn’t it? i’m from the UK, he’d be like 9/10 ish), he let people believe he couldn’t feel physical pain or that he just had an insane tolerance. It was to make sure people wouldn’t single him out or go after him because “if he didn’t feel it or react there was no point in trying to hurt him” or some shit. This ended up with him standing in the playground one day while he bit his tongue trying not to react as he let some of the other kids pinched him and twisted his arm backwards or just some other thing that absolutely hurt him but he just refused to show it just to ‘prove it’. So when it reached a point where he felt himself about to react because his arm was about to pop he just snapped and lashed out at them. This meant he was the one to get into trouble for starting fights, but it helped him get the image he wanted and people didn’t mess with him (unless they got cocky and started something they most definitely didn’t finish).

- Absolute sweetheart around animals. Will always stop to pet a cat when he sees one (does a quick glance to check no ones around to see it). I like to think he’d want a pair of pet rats. Tries to befriend corvids by sneaking them bits of food in the garden because he heard they hold grudges and he wants to stay on their good side.

He’s a member of the rottweiler man trope (intimating vibe, people would cross the street to avoid him, trauma, but is loyal and has soft spots for certain people & animals).

If he draws, he got a really weird ass art style. Idk how to elaborate I just feel like he’d have a wack art style.

Absolutely picks his scabs, without a doubt. Same with hangnails or random bits of skin around his fingers.

If he accidentally walks into a door frame or stubbs his toe on something he’ll swear at it like it made an active choice to get in the way.

Has probably caught his jacket or clothes on door handles an ungodly amount of times. It always happens when he’s angry, no exceptions. His reaction is either just shouting & swearing while trying to unhook his jacket or completely stopping all movement and taking the deepest breath in with his eyes closed before storming off like it didn’t happen in silent rage.

[bbmyungho]

Seventeen + an s/o with ADHD

a/n: sorry this isn’t an update on SNCTD; trust me, I’m just as excited as you guys to finish the story, but my mental health hasn’t been all that great lately if i’m being honest, and i’ve missed writing for svt so... two birds with one stone, y’know :) also, quick disclaimer: this specific reaction post will mainly center around my own experience with my ADHD/the symptoms that especially affect me. you may be able to relate to it, you may not, but i hope you enjoy it either way, i tried to include kind of a range of manifestations. if you don’t struggle with ADHD or ADD, i would definitely advise that you look into ways you can better understand people who do and maybe help them out, and if you do struggle with it, remember that you are valid and you matter so much no matter what your brain says or does <3 we all have days where we struggle to understand that, but i swear it’s true and i’m always here if you ever want to talk about it <3

s. coups/seungcheol

always reminding you to take care of yourself and your mental health first

he rubs your head and/or shoulders when you’re having trouble with grounding yourself and staying focused (like he does with jeonghan’s hair i <<<<</////3333)

he’s very good at disguising when he’s gently reminding you about things or encouraging you to get work he knows you have due soon done with jokes or banter (so you don’t feel bad about forgetting or getting distracted)

you bet he’s going to be up in the forums trying to figure out ways other people help out their loved ones and see if there’s anything else he can do to improve how he shows that he’s there for you

jeonghan

very gentle and patient

he hates the sound of his alarm but he keeps one in his phone to remind you to take your medicine (if you take it) because he knows if you’re doing something else when yours goes off you’ll just swipe off and forget about it

every once in a while just out of nowhere he’ll make it a point to remind you how special you are to him and make sure you know that you are so much more than your disability and you’re doing so well with it look at you go

encourages breaks like his life depends on it he really likes to hold you during your breaks pls let him love you

joshua

always brings an extra pair of headphones or an extra mask for you if you tend to misplace or forget things

he keeps reminders and notes about important events or appointments in your schedule in his phone alongside all of his stuff so he can a) know what you’re up to every once in a while and b) make sure you get there on time and prepared with a good luck text from your wonderful boyfriend :)))

he doesn’t mind having to repeat himself if you’re zoned out and he always reminds you you don’t have to apologize when you ask him to; he understands you’re not just uninterested, and he wants to help you get out of the cycle of apologizing for something you can’t control

your hyperfixations become his hyperfixations: he might not be able to really invest in them like you do but he will watch whatever show you want or listen to whatever music

plus whatever he sees when he’s out that relates to it or reminds him of you, he’ll pick it up; v supportive in your hyperfixations!!

jun

jun is a godsend for really bad executive dysfunction days omg

i feel like if you’re ever struggling to get your thoughts in order or think of the right word to say, he knows exactly what you mean and he’ll help you out with it

also i feel like he’s pretty good at keeping up with stuff if you’re super forgetful or tend to misplace things???

like you’ll be looking for your headphone case or something in your bag and he’ll pull it out of his jacket pocket like “oh you asked me to hold them earlier sorry i didn’t give them back” 

probably better at keeping up with your stuff than is he is his own ffs

hoshi/soonyoung

idk if anyone else really does this but i tend to isolate myself especially when i feel like i’m being really overzealous or obnoxious

but soonyoung absolutely hates when you do that

he tries to make it as clear as humanly possible that you could never ever be a burden or an annoyance to him and he likes to sit with you whenever you don’t feel like talking to people

he’s a pretty loud and energetic guy himself so i feel like if you’re having a hard time controlling your hyperactivity he’ll just match your energy

if he catches you picking at your nails or playing with your fingers a lot (just generally fidgeting a lot), he’ll pull you up to dance with him and you’ll let some of that energy out together :)

wonwoo

i feel like wonwoo is super sensitive to your needs and experiences specifically

like he knows exactly how you need him to react when you’re on the verge of tears because you’re so frustrated with yourself for not being able to focus or when you get overstimulated

he’s a pretty chill guy anyways so i feel like overstimulation isn’t a big problem with wonwoo, at least when it’s just you two; when it does happen, he’s content to sit in silence with you as long as you need him to and just hold your hand or stare at your cute face until you feel like you can breathe again

if you’re in need of stimulation, he’ll read to you aloud or turn the sound of whatever game he’s playing up so you can hear what’s going on, too

woozi/jihoon

100% composes little songs for you to listen to for whatever mood you’re in or whatever amount of stimulation you need

i feel like he’s quite awkward dealing with big shutdowns or panic attacks if you get really frustrated or over/under stimulated but he tries his best to be there for you when you need him

much like soonyoung, if you’ll let him sit with you when you feel like no one wants to see you or you don’t want to bother anyone, he’ll jump at the chance

dk/seokmin

sweet boy is so patient and kind :(((

he doesn’t care how many times you trip over your words or have to restart a sentence, he’ll wait for you to finish and will listen intently

he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky doesn’t matter what kind of dumb shit you’re doing or saying

no matter what your brain comes up with or how out of left field it may seem, he’s always got something to say right back that will match your energy babes 

mingyu

mingyu hums to you to help you fall asleep 100%

he can listen to you talk for forever so if your ADHD manifests itself in talkativeness, he’s just that much happier

he always asks if you’ve eaten and will cook for you if you say you’ve forgotten or just haven’t gotten around to it

he likes it when you play with his hands or when he feels your knee bouncing against his if you’re having trouble sitting still, he thinks it’s kinda cute and just a little reminder that you’re there 

the8/minghao

minghao is a man of many talents and interests so he’s always got you with something to do if you’re feeling burnt out on your other interests or just generally bored

will grab your hand and play with your fingers if he notices you picking at your skin/nails a lot or cracking your knuckles

or like if he’s wearing rings that day he’ll hand you one so you can play with it 

that way you’re still receiving some sort of stimulation but you’re not literally tearing skin off of your hand or about to break your wrists so win-win

seungkwan

he likes to play song association games with you sometimes, whether it be an attempt to help with your dysfunction or just to see how far out of line you guys can get

he always sends you a good morning text with a reminder to take your medicine (again, if you’re medicated) and wishing you a great day

if you get frustrated and sad with yourself then he’ll get sad as well and do everything in his power to cheer you up

he’s always encouraging you and making it a point to remind you that you’re valid and you’re doing your best even if it feels like you aren’t

vernon

mans doesn’t know where or what he is half the time tbh so i don’t think executive dysfunction would be too much of a problem for him

you two communicate without words all the time, you understand each other better than anyone else

he’s pretty go with the flow like he can be just as hyper and loud and energetic as you or he can just lay there with you cuddled up on his chest, it doesn’t matter to him, he just wants to match your energy

he tries to listen to you well and learn as much as he can about ways he can help when you need him to

like joshua, will probably carry around extra headphones or an extra mask or something just incase you misplace or forget yours

dino/chan

he’s a bit clueless, at least at first, but he tries really hard to learn

he probably is the type to carry a fidget spinner or some sort of fidget device for you to play with if those kinds of things help you

he’s also probably very awkward about handing it to you because idk he’s just weird??

always happy to try out new things with you when you’re feeling burnt out on your old hobbies or try to teach you a new dance routine or something to keep you occupied

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[violetwolfraven]

Willie Headcanons

So I actually came up with this like a month ago and forgot to post it. Anyway enjoy my headcanons about our favorite sk8er boi. Be ready for feels.

Tw: death, car accident mention, emotional manipulation.

...

In my mind, Willie had a good relationship with his parents. They were supportive and everything. They both loved Willie very much.

And Willie has youngest child energy so I’m saying he has a sister who’s 2 years older and a brother who’s 5 years older. Their names are Delilah and Austin.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES.

Seriously imagine the worst possible combination of head empty only skateboarding and you’ve got Willie, Delilah, and Austin.

Austin started skating when he was 7 and got Delilah hooked on it a year later.

Their parents kinda didn’t like the idea of it but those two had already started teaching Willie basic stuff by the time he was 3.

But... the other two had other interests. Delilah was into art (painting) and Austin played piano (like, really well).

For Willie, skateboarding was his thing. And it always was.

He had fun with it when his big brother would put his hands on his and teach him to play a bit, or his sister would give him some paint and a spare canvas and they’d doodle together, but it wasn’t like skating.

As far as I’ve seen (which admittedly isn’t that far) it’s widely accepted that Willie has ADHD so I’m leaning into that here.

And Willie inherited his brain from his dad, who had a bad experience with meds and so wouldn’t let any of his kids go through it.

So Willie grew up unmedicated but probably better off for the time period. His dad taught him coping mechanisms. Him and Austin. Delilah didn’t inherit it but she was taught to empathize with her brothers and recognize when they needed her help with something.

She’s a badass who can and does beat up anybody who’s mean to her brothers for missing social cues.

But anyway while Austin had piano (and skating as a side thing) Willie got even more hooked on skateboarding than either of his siblings because his brain latched onto it from a young age and couldn’t let go.

We all have our outlets. The chaos in our brains has to go somewhere. For Willie it goes into skating.

When he’s young he and his siblings will skateboard to school and then after school they’ll skate all around Hollywood for hours.

They do their homework in random McDonalds and Denny’s and tbh become local cryptid customers. Like they’re just these 3 super friendly skater siblings who tip really well and visit every fast food place within a 20 mile radius of their house with varying frequency.

They also find e v e r y skatepark, empty pool, and vacant lot in that 20 mile radius that they can possibly find.

Their parents have to bail them out of jail for trespassing and the occasional vandalism every so often.

Sometimes one of them has stuff to do and it’s just two of them out skating but if two of them are busy the other one never goes out alone cause it’s dangerous. We’ll get back to that later.

So anyway when they’re 17, 14, and 12, Delilah comes out as a lesbian.

And the family is supportive of course because they’re a good family.

But her coming out gets Willie thinking. About how some of his friends have crushes on girls but he just... doesn’t see the appeal.

Like he has a couple friends who are girls and they’re great and he likes hanging out with them at recess but he doesn’t get the hype. They’re just more friends. So he doesn’t really see what his big sister is so interested in either.

In my mind Willie actually is from around the same time as the boys (dying in like 1999) so one day while nobody else in their house is home he and Delilah are watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Willie’s again wondering why people think Leia is so hot cause she’s cool and all but Luke is right there and he looks really good and—

Willie: I think I might be gay.

Delilah: Yeah I know.

They talk about it and Willie does decide to tell the rest of the family but he’s a bit wary about anyone else because he saw how some of Delilah’s friends turned on her after she came out. He doesn’t want that to happen to him.

He does end up telling a few of his friends but he doesn’t quite not care what people think of him the way his big sister does.

Austin is the only straight one and he’s like. So awkward about it but in a sweet way.

Austin: So, Britney Spears is hot, right?

Delilah: Stop.

And

Austin: So I saw you hanging around Chris the other day are you two..?

Willie: ...no...???

Austin: Cool, yeah I didn’t think so. Just had to make sure. Not that I’m doubting your ability to get boys but I’d have to shovel talk him if you were.

Willie: If I ever do get a boyfriend, please don’t.

He tries. He’s a himbo if that wasn’t clear. Where did you think Willie learned it?

So anyway fast forward a couple years and they’re 22, 19, and 17. Austin and Delilah are both in college and Willie’s the last one left at home and things between their parents start getting... tense.

Like they don’t fight exactly but they’ve fallen out of love and things are awkward.

Even Austin and Delilah can tell and they’re only home on breaks and some weekends but for Willie it’s right there and he’s watching it happen. He has no option but to see.

They used to have a rule that they don’t go skating alone because it’s dangerous but Willie just can’t make himself stay home so he goes out skateboarding.

At first it’s never too far from home or anywhere where there’s too much traffic but as things get increasingly awkward at home he goes out farther and farther, chasing the adrenaline high he used to get from going anywhere and everywhere every day after school with his siblings.

Then his parents officially tell him they’re getting divorced and

And it’s not like he couldn’t see it coming, but... it still hurts.

And neither of his siblings are coming home any time soon so

So he goes out skating on his own, way too far from home. He keeps going until he doesn’t even know where he is anymore.

He isn’t really paying attention the way he should but that’s not why he runs into trouble.

The driver of that red pickup is drunk and he rounds the corner out of nowhere.

If Delilah or Austin had been there they could have yelled for Willie to jump out of the way, or maybe up on the hood so the impact wouldn’t be as bad, but he’s alone.

So he gets hit, and the car was going fast enough that he’s dead before he even hits the pavement.

After that there’s a lot of confusion but once Willie figures out he’s a ghost... it’s too painful to think about going home, so he just... doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to see his family mourning him, so he just distracts himself, skating everywhere he couldn’t before without getting busted.

Plus some old routes where he used to go with Delilah and Austin, just for something that’s familiar but not too familiar.

He’s on one of those more familiar routes a few weeks after his death when he’s skating down Sunset Boulevard one night, singing along to Toxic by Britney Spears blasting from a nearby club and a man dressed in a purple suit comments on how he’s got a good voice.

Honestly Willie is just so relieved to have someone to talk to that he forgets about stranger danger completely.

Plus he recognizes an Elder Gay in Caleb and assumes he can trust him because the Elder Gays he met at pride that one time he went with Delilah were so nice and understanding of how reassuring it was to see queer people of older generations who got a happy ending.

Caleb barely even has to try. He just lets this 17-year-old obviously-queer ghost rant at him for a few minutes, asks a few questions and finds out that he also can play piano, and convinces him to come to the Hollywood Ghost Club the next night.

From there it’s not like Willie has anyone to save him so of course he has to join the club.

At first he’s completely alone because the other performers scare him almost as much as Caleb does.

Then slowly, he sees how they give him space because they know he’s scared of them. How they turn a blind eye when he leaves the club without permission. How they don’t critique his mistakes with the same sarcasm they show each other.

Willie starts to realize that the other performers are doing their best to look out for him, and he starts being less afraid.

They’re all too concerned with their own survival to really protect him but if they draw some attention to themselves occasionally so Caleb doesn’t notice Willie being slow to pick up some tricky choreography, that’s not too risky.

The others are all like 21 at the youngest and they really don’t appreciate Caleb tricking a literal child into working for him no matter how talented said child is. (Cause Willie is good at singing and piano. It’s just not his passion.)

The twins are 22 but they died in 1925 and before that they were performing to support a younger brother who they never got to say goodbye to so maybe they see Willie as a kind of second chance.

Lyssa (what I decided to name drummer woman because I don’t know her real name if she has one) is 25 and she died in 1984. She had a daughter who’d be about Willie’s age now and... who knows? Maybe they were friends.

Fuego is 24 and from 1951 and he had a childhood best friend who enlisted and died in WWII that he thought he might get to see when he died but that boy moved on and so... well, Willie’s just a little younger than his friend was the last time he saw him.

In short Willie becomes everyone’s baby brother and they do what they can to look out for him even if they’re just as scared of Caleb as he is.

And the better adjusted Willie gets to (after)life at the HGC and the better they get to know him, the guiltier the others start to feel about him being stuck there.

Eventually a combination of guilt and worked-up courage leads Fuego tells him about the whole unfinished business thing, in hopes maybe he can figure his out and get away from Caleb.

It doesn’t take Willie long to think of his family, how hopeless he felt about the divorce, how worried he was it would change everything and then how scared he was to see his family in pain because of his death.

He realizes his unfinished business is probably seeing them. Letting himself say goodbye.

He almost gets away with it.

Caleb catches up and stops him in the driveway of his house and poofs them back to the HGC.

He convinces (gaslights) Willie into believing that saying goodbye was never his unfinished business and even if it was it’s not like it would matter because Caleb wouldn’t let him do it.

The next morning he ships the HGC out to Tokyo. They stay on the move for a long time and when they are in town, Willie is basically locked in his room.

The next time he’s allowed out in Hollywood, his parents don’t live in their old house anymore and he has no way to find them.

As a coping mechanism, he just starts making the best of a bad situation. Becoming better friends with the other ghosts. Helping soften the blow whenever someone new comes along.

None of that means he stops checking the faces of passing skaters or keeping eyes on restaurants his folks used to like, but it does mean he more or less gives up hope.

That’s what he’s doing when he bumps into Alex.

Look, Willie loves his friends at the HGC. He really does. But there’s a big difference between 17 and 20-something. Like the others will drink alcohol some nights and technically Willie was born over 21 years ago but he still feels weird enough about it that he doesn’t drink.

He hasn’t talked to anyone his age in a long time so Alex is a breath of fresh air.

Also he’s like. Really cute. And sweet. And funny. And shit, Willie’s fallen for him before he even has time to think about it.

He keeps thinking about how Alex doesn’t seem like he’d be physically capable of hurting someone on purpose so Austin would approve and every once in a while there’s that sarcasm that pops out which means he’d get along great with Delilah.

In general Alex is the kind of guy he would’ve loved to take home to meet the family. Them not included, he’s kind of... everything Willie’s missed about Hollywood in the form of one person.

Then they hang out more and Alex is still everything he’s missed but he’s also so much more than that and...

It almost feels like a part of Alex is still alive. And for the first time in years, a part of Willie feels alive, too.

They’ve known each other for like a week tops and Willie is already in love.

Not that he’s admitting that to anyone, because he’s learned the hard way that anyone you care about can be used against you.

Still... when Alex asks for help getting revenge on Bobby, he can’t bring himself to say no because he needs to keep Alex in his (after)life and the only way he knows how to do that (or to make people be nice to him in general) is to be as useful as possible.

That turns out to be a big mistake, because Caleb sees right through him in an instant, targets Alex to confirm it, then immediately starts the process to trick the boys into committing to eternity at the HGC.

Willie feels like an idiot for thinking he could actually get away with it. Doing something good for someone he cares about.

He hadn’t thought Caleb would be interested in them because he’d never actually heard them play. The assumption was that he’d make them do some small favor and then let them talk to their bandmate for 5 minutes. A clean deal where they never have to commit to anything. Willie forgot to take magic into account.

He almost manages to convince himself it was all a bad dream, but when he seeks out Alex and his friends to check on them, he can almost feel the jolts himself, and seeing Alexthem in pain feels terrible.

Willie knows that theoretically they could figure out their unfinished business and cross over, but that all depends on finding it and doing it fast enough and if they failed...

People you care about can be used against you. And Willie does not want to be used against Alex again. He doesn’t want to see Alex used against him.

So he keeps his distance, in hopes Caleb will think he lost interest. He’s pretty sure once the boys find out about the stamp they’ll hate him, anyway.

And plus, as he’s been taught by his friends at the HGC, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Maybe you hurt somebody by not standing up for them, but you can apologize later and hope they forgive you. You can’t apologize if you’re gone, and it’s not like it would make a difference anyway because Caleb is too powerful for anyone to beat.

The thought of how spending eternity with Alex might not be so bad even if it has to be at the HGC does come up, but ironically that’s what makes Willie decide to screw his courage to the sticking point and tell them.

Because he has seen what decades at the club has done to his friends.

They’re all great performers, and they perform happiness well even to each other, but Willie knows them enough to know how tired they all are. How they have been doing the same thing over and over again for decades and they are sick of it.

They’re young, talented tragedies lost to drug overdoses, or AIDS, or accidents, or suicide, and they should’ve gotten to rest after everything they went through in their lives. Instead, they got a curse disguised as a blessing. They got to stay on a stage, got to keep performing and soaking up applause, never got to stop.

Willie has been there a shorter time than most of them and he feels it. The exhaustion, because ghosts are supposed to haunt for a few years then figure out their unfinished business and move on. They’re not meant to be trapped for decades, used as party tricks.

A part of Alex still feels alive and being trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club for years on end would kill that part of him.

Willie can’t let that happen, so as hard as it is...

He tells the boys what’s wrong with them. And by that hurt, betrayed look in Alex’s eyes, he’s honestly expecting him to never forgive him.

But then Alex does. And that almost hurts worse because whether he figures out his unfinished business or not, Willie doubts he’s ever going to see him again.

He honest to God almost cries when Alex hugs him because... shit, he hasn’t gotten a hug since he was breathing.

He goes back to the HGC and tries to go about his day, and keeps replaying how good it felt to have Alex’s arms around him, hoping that memory will get him through the next few decades on his own.

The ghosts at the club do actually gossip a fair amount and by this point all of them know about the 3 dead members of Sunset Curve.

So when Willie admits to Helen (what I’m calling one of the twins) that Alex hugging him was the first time he’d gotten a hug since he died, she hugs him tight for a good 20 seconds, telling him she’s sorry he has to lose him, and if Willie closes his eyes he can almost pretend it’s Delilah.

The next thing he knows, he’s locked in a closet.

Caleb comes to talk to (intimidate) him a few hours later, saying he knows what Willie did.

He’s magically locked in his room alone for a couple weeks after that and it’s essentially psychological torture.

Helen, Anna (what I decided to call the other twin), Dante, Fuego, Lyssa, and everyone else tell him not to test Caleb for the next couple years, but Willie has a heart full of love and a head full of fuck it, so he doesn’t listen.

He gives it exactly one day of being/acting scared and obedient, then goes out without permission again, fully intending to scream in a museum alone to let out all his feelings.

Remember: Willie didn’t see the Orpheum performance. He doesn’t know the boys didn’t cross over but by Caleb’s mood he has a feeling the outcome of that scenario was not in the magician’s favor.

He gets there and it’s literally this comic by the very talented @williessweatycherrysocks

He can’t stay long but he and Alex scream in each other’s faces, talk a bit, maybe sing a duet.

After that, they sneak to see each other when they can but don’t get to see much of each other for months.

It’s hard on both of them but they don’t give up on their relationship.

Through long and complicated events which I will outline later, Willie eventually gets free of the HGC, hugs his friends goodbye already making plans to take down Caleb for good to free them, too, and promptly declines an offer to stay in the Molinas’ garage.

As much as he wants to be close to Alex he’s done being confined to one place.

He still comes and visits like every day tho.

He knows a lot more about ghosting than the other boys do so he and Carlos get along amazingly like:

Carlos: So do you know who Jack the Ripper was?

Willie: No? How old do you think I am?

Carlos: I dunno but I thought it might be Caleb cause that would explain how he never got caught.

Willie, taking notes in his Things To Potentially Use To Take Caleb Down notebook: You’re a tiny genius.

No one was expecting it but everyone is in awe of how well he and Carrie get along. Between the two of them they know so much celebrity gossip. (and it’s definitely a good thing he’s on good terms with her cause she and Alex are close)

On the angsty side, Willie also bonds with Nick over how they both know how it feels to be manipulated and used by Caleb.

Also it takes a long time before he’s able to trust him, but he does get adopted into the Molina clan by Ray.

Ray reminds him a lot of his own dad, once Willie’s able to see that he’s nothing like Caleb.

Ray’s honestly just 100% happy to Dad™️ anyone who needs a dad so it works out great once Julie and the boys figure out how to make Willie visible.

But anyway back to important stuff.

Now that they don’t have to hide for any reason, Willie and Alex can both breathe a little easier. Or... they both feel better. Ghosts don’t really breathe.

Willie can finally let himself get used to feeling alive again.

The whole ghost gang goes (invisibly) to the Los Feliz Homecoming dance and maybe it should make him feel a little on-edge with the kind of club-like environment but...

He’s got Alex there, and they’re dancing to some corny pop love song from the 90s that Flynn probably put on because she knew the ghost boys would be there so how could he feel anything but safe?

For a minute it almost feels like actually being alive and there’s yellow and pink and blue lights coming from everywhere reflecting in Alex’s eyes and Willie is suddenly very aware of the fact that though they’ve been together for a long time now, they haven’t had their first kiss.

Then the Cha Cha Slide starts up and the atmosphere switches and Willie totally forgets about the whole romantic tension thing because it’s the Cha Cha Slide everybody has to dance along.

Dirty Candi performs towards the end of the night and the ghost boys cheer the loudest despite how Julie’s laughing at them. They don’t care that Carrie can’t even hear them, they’re being supportive!!!

Everybody screams even louder when Flynn runs up on stage and kisses Carrie and Willie feels a big burst of affection at how Alex shouts ABOUT TIME!

Then he gives Willie a quick hug and leaves cause he and the rest of Julie and the Phantoms have to go get set up for their performance.

Since Alex was able to flip Carrie’s hair in All Eyes on Me I’m saying that ghosts can touch lifers if they focus and believe it will happen hard enough, so the ghost gang has developed a system for alerting their non-Julie lifer friends to their presence.

So while they’re waiting in the crowd Willie taps Carrie on the shoulder like: • - - one short tap, two long taps, a Morse code ‘W’ and Carrie lets Flynn know that he’s there.

(Nick can see him too but Nick’s off somewhere with his date {one of his lacrosse teammates you know the one})

Anyway so Julie goes out and starts up the song and then the rest of the band poofs in but

Something’s unusual.

Cause it’s not Luke on the lower main vocals.

It’s

Alex

Singing while he plays the drums and fucking killing it.

Willie totally bluescreens for a second but then when he actually focuses on the lyrics...

It’s a new song about beating the odds and being with the person you love in spite of the challenges that come with them.

And yeah there are Julie elements in there, (and she’s definitely making heart eyes at Luke even as he sticks to backup vocals) because of course there are since she has to start the song up, but

But Willie might not have any formal music training, but he was at the HGC long enough to know his stuff about music and recognize different artists’ styles.

And there’s a time signature switch on the bridge that’s a little off from how Luke would write it. There’s a swing to the melody that’s a bit more ‘pop’ than the band’s usual songs. Julie’s harmony doesn’t go as high as it normally would, as if whoever wrote the song didn’t have as high of an upper range to work with as she does.

The song is so unmistakably Alex that no one else could have written it.

Flynn and Carrie are quietly making smug comments on what they bet his face looks like right now but Willie’s not listening to them.

On the last chorus, Alex fucking winks at him right before poofing out.

Willie has whiplash like how did they go from him having to psych Alex up to break into a museum even when there’s zero chance of getting caught to Alex openly flirting with him from the stage?

He poofs backstage right as the boys get back from dropping their instruments back in the Molinas’ garage and he honestly doesn’t know what he even wants to say to convey how amazing that performance was.

Then Alex just smiles at him.

Alex: So I take it you liked the song?

Willie: Can I kiss you right now?

They both kinda freeze after he blurts that out and Reggie goes wow really quietly before he and Luke poof out to give them some privacy and whoops now they’re both flustered but

Alex: Wow, didn’t expect that. That’s... um, wow. But yeah.

They kiss and it’s a total romcom moment.

And the story’s far from over, but to Willie this definitely feels like happily ever after.

[lassieposting]

ghasdug for couple questions if you like feeding me

1. Who said I love you first?

Ghastly. Mid-orgasm. The first time they slept together. He. Is. Mortified.

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Skug. Ghastly has some inadequacy issues during their first century or so, mostly about being ugly and poor - he knows skug could do better. He's attractive, he's funny, he can be very sweet when he wants to be - he could make an excellent match with someone as landed and titled and wealthy as he is.

Skug does try to reassure him, but between his tactlessness and his tendency to not take anything seriously, he kind of sucks at it. Ghastly feels like his being "less than" is a big hurdle, while skug sees it as a trivial difference - he's much happier living with ghastly's family in their cramped farmhouse than he ever was at his parents' vast estate. So he tries to turn it into a joke - "good thing I'm handsome enough for both of us, then," - while completely missing the point that ghastly wants forever with him, and he's worried he's going to spend the rest of forever getting looked down on and whispered about because skulduggery could've done better.

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

Ghastly is the cuddler. It escalates because skug is adhd as hell and cannot just lie still and snuggle for long without getting bored. He needs constant stimulation. He'll sit on the counter while ghastly works and chat for hours though, swinging his legs and passing over tools when ghastly needs them

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

Ghastly makes all skug's clothes, including his armour, because he doesn't trust anyone else to keep skug safe in battle.

Ghastly has skug's signet ring, which he found in the burned down-ruins of the pleasant family home after skug was killed. For decades, it's the only thing he had left of skug - the clothes ghastly made, the scarf wifey made, and the locket with wifey and skugbab's portraits inside were all cut away and burned, and the house was razed to the ground. Skug knows he has it, but he's never asked for it back.

5. How would one another describe their partner?

Skug would either deliberately misread the question ("What, haven't you seen him? How could you miss ghastly? He's...he's this high and built like a wall.") or come out with something explicit to deter follow-up questions.

Ghastly mostly talks about how annoying skug is, but it's? Endearing to him. At this stage of their lives, he is the only person who's actually happy to listen to like, an eight hour infodump with no breaks. Skug is. A Lot to handle and society does not have the terminology for him yet.

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Ghastly. Skug, under all the vanity and egocentrism, has critically low self-esteem and very little self-worth. He's the Family Scapegoat, and got the lion's share of the abuse before he ran away, so he absolutely melts for compliments. The boy has praise kink up the wazoo. Ghastly will happily feed his ego to watch him get the smile and the sparkly eyes and puff up like a proud peacock.

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

They don't really have this tbh? Not only is the vocabulary of the period insufficient, they see the relationship differently.

Skug is like. Anxious-avoidant attachment personified. He doesn't like to get too close. He falls in love with ghastly a long time before he's able to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else. He essentially treats their relationship like a fuckbuddies kind of deal, and he feels safe like that, because he can't be hurt by someone he doesn't care about. He can't be let down or abandoned by someone who has no commitment to him in the first place. Admitting he loves ghastly leaves him vulnerable, and if he's learned anything in his childhood, its that vulnerable people are the ones who get hurt.

Ghastly on the other hand considers skug his boyfriend, and there's no equivalent term from the 1500s. "Gentleman caller" hardly applies when you live under the same roof and share a room (and, more often than not, a bed), so nobody is calling on anyone. Privately, he thinks of skug as his lover, but he knows skug is allergic to intimacy, so he keeps that to himself for the most part.

So ghastly usually introduces skug as "this is my - this is skulduggery pleasant" and skug usually introduces ghastly as "this is my dear friend, ghastly".

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

Ghastly. Skug is his first love, and he's completely lost in it. He's had crushes before, on pretty girls who only ever spoke to him to enquire after his "handsome brother", and strapping young men at market who avoided looking at him to speak to his father, but he's never felt anything like this before. He lives with skug. He sees him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, he sees him happy and depressed and drunk and furious, he kisses him and fights with him and fucks him and defends him and laughs with him and cries with him and for years and years, they're inseparable. He's? Completely unprepared for how hard he falls for skug.

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Ghastly. Drowsy morning skug is snuggliest skug. He doesn't get as many snuggles as he'd like, tbh, because skug is active and easily distracted and doesn't like staying still for too long, but in the early morning is when he's most likely to be warm and cuddly and relaxed, and when he's least concerned about keeping ghastly at arms length. He'll pull skug back against his chest and he'll wiggle round to press a sleepy kiss to the corner of ghastly's mouth and tuck his head under ghastly's chin, and he'll doze off again with his hand stroking idly up and down skug's spine.

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Ghastly.

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

Skug likes to pick up the absolute ugliest thing he can find while shopping and pretend he loves it while ghastly cringes and swears blind that he will not be seen with you while you're wearing that thing, skulduggery, so help him god. What usually happens is that skug pulls his new purchase to pieces as soon as they get home, and then gets ghastly to make it up better.

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Skug taught ghastly to read, so he'd bring home books for him while he was learning and get ghastly to read to him, lying with his head in ghastly's lap and lazily correcting his pronunciation or reminding him how to sound out the words.

Ghastly doesn't have the sort of disposable income skug does, so he makes him things instead, like stylish hats with feathers in them, even though he personally hates that fashion and is delighted when it dies.

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Skug. Ghastly loves watching him laugh till he chokes though. He adores seeing skug happy.

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Ghastly. Skug is an attention whore, he loves that kind of thing. An entire event all for him? Hell yes, baby

Ghastly himself, on the other hand, is painfully insecure and selfconscious at this stage of his life, and he'd be mortified at being the centre of attention like that. Skug is a vain, arrogant dick, but he's not cruel. He wouldn't make ghastly feel bad for funsies.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Ghastly picks skug up. There's not much of a height difference between them, just two inches, but teenage skug is a lanky little twink and ghastly could benchpress him, which skug is rabidly horny over. Because, you know, muscles.

Once they join the army and skug fills out and gets all lean and fit and strong, ghastly can still pick him up, but he absolutely complains that he weighs a ton now.

Adult skug can lift/mostly carry ghastly in an emergency, like if he's injured and needs to be helped back to camp or carried off a battlefield. But it's difficult, and ghastly is really too heavy for him, so picking him up isn't something he'd do for fun. Teenage skug can't pick ghastly up at all.

[bearmustard]

Hi! Can I ask your views on the theory H has dated Xander ritz on and off between L since 2015? Even in jan 2020 h was photographed with him and at his family house in Philadelphia and said he’d take a break from his “fish” in an interview as he was on a “gap year” ah my heart breaks that this is probably true that h and l haven’t been together all the time and now who knows despite all the proof so much conflicting proof and theories it’s so stressful and drags me down so much!

Hi! 

So I’m going to preface this with the caveat that, I’m really sorry, but I can’t convince you that H & L never broke up, or that X & H aren’t together, because honestly (as I said in an ask yesterday too) we know hardly anything of what actually goes on behind the scenes. I also am not a blog that archives evidence or does intricate masterposts laying out events, because honestly I’m too ADHD for that/but also @tellmethisisnotlove and @lovemylarents and others do it better. 

What I can do is explain the reasoning behind my answer, which is: Xarry was never a thing. (the second half of the question, well, I’m a veteran dark larrie so of course I believe L & H are together). 

But to the Xarry thing - context is really important. 

Xander showed up in 2015 as a mate of J.Azoff. He and Harry spent a lot of time together, often getting papped with Jeff and Glenne in tow. He came to a bunch of concerts throughout the OTRA tour, and H featured him in several of his insta posts. In my opinion, he was helping out with the “H isn’t straight” narrative that Harry started pushing in Nov 2014. The reason people thought they were together was because they did exactly the same things harry did with his other stunts, just that X was a bloke (i’m not including the awkward tay kiss here because that was a different ball game). Not once did Xander feature in any of the publications that 1DHQ favoured, but he was featured constantly in pubs that HSHQ went on to favour. 

A lot of people initially thought that maybe they were a thing, but this was the year of the rainbow bears, and next to you november, and H & L finally relaxing and interacting publicly with each other, so it became pretty clear pretty early that Xander was there as part of a bunch of distractions that took a lot of heat off Harry and Louis. 

Then, of course, Xander sent a dick pic to a fans and it came out that he’d been flirting with fans the whole time, and also these days he’s had a girlfriend for years. No one who was around in 2015 really thinks they are, or ever were, together. 

They do seem to be good friends though! And Harry visits him and his family regularly when he’s in the area, but tbh, doesn’t everyone have mates like that? I go and visit a mate in another country/state and, if I know their family, I’m gonna make an effort to see them. I just don’t think it’s that deep. 

TLDR the only reason people consider Xarry as a thing is because he helped provided a layer of distraction in 2015, but also because they buy into the narrative that any single person Harry is seen with is someone he’s going out with, which, like, I just don’t buy. Louis is constantly seen with Oli, Luke and Calvin, who basically did the same thing in 2015 (like, down to the flirting with fans and dick pics which I can never unsee Calvin), and people rarely try to connect Louis with them, so it just shows the difference in their public images. 

I hope I answered your question! 

[nepenthendline]

Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto

All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters

You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!

This is going to be long

TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm

Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar

I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while

Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)

His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’

Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that

His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head

His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect

This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic

Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)

Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point

He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help

He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people

The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions

Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

wow what a smooth segue 

this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD

Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)

He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry

Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared

He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day

Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives

He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse

Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)

ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

autism buds with kageyama

I kid thats probably a bad idea

Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5

Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age

While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder

Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’

Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older

His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally 

@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol 

He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it

Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across

He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)

Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school

This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety

Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details

No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly

It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme

Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker

He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much

He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic

When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too

Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school 

Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’

He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts

As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima

Bokuto - ADHD

A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD

He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old

Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts

He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves

Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen

He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts

He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours

Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something

The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted

They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else

I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!

[ratsoh-writes]

Skeleboi[s?] that would work well with me in a relationship? 🥺

Name: Milo

Pronouns: She/They but don’t really care what people refer to me as Hair: I have a boy-cut/undercut. I am a natural brunette but I have blue highlights. Body type: I’m 5’3, and I’m sorta skinny but squishy (got a tum, thighs and squishy cheeks) Soul color: Probably green 💚 Personality: Curious, kinda Feral, Emotional, I’m not particularly feminine or masculine I kinda just exist, Super unmotivated but very hyper/passionate in the right moments, *Always* some level of confused How I am as a partner: I’m extremely cuddly and touch starved. I need a lot of reminders that I’m loved and I also tend to give constant reminders to people that I love them just in case they forget. I need a lot of communication and if we have a problem I CANNOT sweep it under the rug because I will bottle it up until I implode so I need somebody that is comfortable talking about feeling and being honest with me. My love language is physical affection and gift giving. Hobbies: Reading, Singing, Writing songs, Playing my ukulele, cosplaying, rambling about my hyperfixations, Learning every detail about the things I enjoy, doodling, befriending every animal that breaths in my direction (I love all animals but cats, dogs, and wild birds seem to really like me), I get stoned on occasion Habits and Odd Ticks: Teeth clicking (Sometimes it’s affectionate, sometimes it’s sassy), Mimicking animal noises (Really good at purring, growling, and bird calls), Walking around on the balls of my feet for literally no reason, I have actual ticks (mainly when i’m feeling big emotions like excitement or anxiety), Humming at random, Talking to myself in the mirror very regularly Strengths: Creative, Passionate, Empathetic, Good with words, Out of the box problem solver, Compassionate, Thoughtful when it counts Weaknesses: I’m a feeling magnet so I soak up negative energy like a sponge, suck at saying “no” or asking for help, bad habit of people pleasing, god-awful at taking care of myself (i forget to eat/drink and don’t sleep nearly enough), Crippling social anxiety, Underachiever (fear of failure), f*cking math (too many numbers on a page makes my brain short out pls don’t ever ask me to help with taxes), Crippling ADHD (have an awful time focusing, very easily spaced out and distracted, and my memory is garbage), Slow to process things, Can’t handle being rushed, Don’t ask me to multitask (unless you want me to accidentally burn the house down), I hate sharing so I can be a bit greedy at times Pet peeves: When I make a mistake and instead of telling me you pretend it’s fine but then hold it over my head in the future (like I can usually tell when I mess up and I can fix it but sometimes it takes me a minute and I can’t read your mind please tell me where I went wrong so I can actually fix the problem), When people take my food without asking (That’s a one-way ticket to lose-your-fingers-ville. Don’t f*cking touch my food unless I offer), Obnoxious chewing, NOT TELLING ME WHY YOU’RE ANGRY WITH ME, Constant loud noises give me horrible anxiety

ohhhhh skulryuuuu I know just who to pair you with! Lets go with OAK!

ok ok, so hear me out: Oak just wants someone who will be kind to him and his brother, stay honest, and accept him for who he is. He doesn’t mind an occasionally wild partner as long as they’re soft where it counts.

If you need lots of affection, then oak is your man! First, oak is extremely physically affectionate. He loves to cuddle, nuzzle, and hug his partners. Plus, oak has no fear in expressing his love. If you guys are dating and he thinks you’re being cute or extra sweet in that moment, the he just straight up says it. tbh the lack of filter might be a leftover of his head injury, but it also could just be oak and his blunt self. 

Now the biggies:Oak isn’t equipped to handle a SO with certain problems as he has himself to look out for. Luckily, anxiety is one of those things that oak could handle. He may be forgetful, so sometimes he forgets your tells or triggers, but that doesnt mean oak is any less observant than he used to be.  Oak can still pick up when you’re uncomfortable and will always leave with you if you need it. 

dating oak includes: 

sometimes you might have the same conversation twice, but that also means that if you ever do something sappy that catches oak by surprise, you can get him to blush at least twice or thrice before he manages to remember kinda mean but also really cute

If there's ever an animal that you want to pet, just have oak there and that cute furry baby will be melting right onto your hand. Oak somehow just magically brings out the friendly in animals. 

oak would love it if you played ukulele for him. He likes hearing the instrument, and just likes instrumentals in general. Also willow knows the ukulele too! duet time!

[notyourmamasspoons]

Alright BUCKLE UP - ADHD INFO Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: I am in NO WAY a professional on this. I just have ADHD and know many other ADHDers that go through the same stuff.

ADHD is not just being distracted by every little thing! You want to know what it can also entail?

Obsessive and repetitive thoughts about things, people, places, anything. And it takes SO MUCH mental and emotional energy to try to STOP. Oh I’m WELL AWARE I should stop thinking about X, or talking about Y, or thinking about Z doing A, B, C. But I cannot. I am trying. I am trying so hard. But everything makes the hyperfocus dive deeper. Distraction may work but only so well. This also ties into deep attachment to people, places, and things (Another rant for another day).

You’re way more susceptible to depression and anxiety (in fact a lot of the time people think that’s all they have when really it’s ADHD in disguise but that’s a whole different rant).

You talk WAY too much and ramble...on and on and on and on. Well past whatever the heck your point was! You can’t help it! In text, in conversation, you over use metaphors because the Thought ™ has to come out PERFECTLY. But ha hahaha we’ll be super uncareful about typos or WAY too concerned with every word being perfect that it sounds robotic. Much like how I’m probably doing now!!!!!!

Speaking of talking way to much...YOU OVERSHARE. Have REALLY bad cramps? Have some medical issue? Have a family secret? Hell need to go into detail about the breakfast you had? Why not tell it to the whole office? Why not tell it to the stranger making small chat on the subway. OOPS. Said TOO MUCH. Even though Brain ™ told us not to, but also did not give us a filter.

Boundaries? What actually are those? They are SUPER hard to learn and abide by being of impulse control (well...lack there of). I KNOW I shouldn’t say or do something. But do I have the ability to stop it? Not all the time. “But you’re an adult. you should have control!” Yeah well that’s REALLY not how this works and trust me I LOATHE the fact that boundaries are hard for me to honor. I can barely honor my OWN half the time let alone others. And that sucks. It makes me feel toxic and harmful! It hurts people I care about! And I’ve gotten so much better at it but others have not. Others maybe cannot without understanding and love and support.

It’s also SUPER easy to enable us. Especially when it comes to executive functioning.

Emotional Dysregulation (This is its own rant too tbh). But just know if someone you know has ADHD or you think has it, does any of this sound familiar?

RSD (which I talked a bit about this the other day and will keep reblogging that ask)

They don’t know how to express their feelings, especially when upset or frustrated. Which may lead to outbursts of emotion or nitpicking at every little thing or against you or maybe even saying hurtful things that are more about how they feel they are perceived by you rather than what you yourself are actually feeling?

They shut down or stonewall you almost (or to) the point of just going silent on you.

They get frustrated over the smallest of things and can’t seem to bring themselves out of it.

They obsess over something they consider a slight or an injustice against themselves or someone they care about and it takes over their mood for days or weeks at a time. (Hyperfocusing mixed with emotional dyregulation YAY!)

If you knew them before their diagnosis (or maybe before they started getting worse as ADHD can worsen whether or not you’ve been diagnosed) they seemed to have morphed into a different person with their personality?

That’s just a TASTE of what ADHD can do to someone. They don’t have to do ALL of those or even any of them at all. But I bet that they do at least one on that MINI list. Again, I cannot stress enough if you know or love or have someone in your life that has ADHD or you suspect has it, practice patience and kindness.

And if they don’t know they have it or think they don’t, INSIST that they go find out. Because it can actually be a debilitating thing and ruin so much in a person’s life.

ADHD isn’t some funny and “totally random lol” quirk. Yeah...we do things that are random and funny as shit sometimes. But when it’s severe? It can be SEVERE. Especially in times of stress. Especially if you already have depression and/or anxiety. Especially when you’re not aware.

This was probably SUUUPER unorganized. So I hope my thoughts didn’t scatter around too much. Again I’m not a professional and I’m not going to go and dress up ADHD in an ultra flattering way. Because while ADHD is fine, I mean I have it and always will, it can change how you are. it can ruin your jobs, your relationships, your friendships, your self-esteem...everything especially if it has its way to run rampant or be left undiagnosed and thus untreated in SOME way. I truly LOVE being ADHD. Despite all of the above. Despite the forgetfulness, despite the hardships. It’s a part of me and who I am. I’m proud of my other disabilities too. It’s no cakewalk, but it’s my identity and I spent enough time being ashamed of them.

So I don’t want the information out there to just be the softer sides of ADHD of “Yeah we forget things all the time.” “We hyperfocus a lot!” “We stim!” These are all true! I embrace them about myself! But I also need to learn to embrace the bad parts, the parts that need healing, the parts that need constant working at and management. The parts that others need to realize about us as well.

Even if not everyone agrees! These are my experiences and the experiences of others around me. It can’t all be bright and sunshiny. It’s real. It’s life. And it’s not shameful.

So please be kind, please be patient. I know it’s hard on the ones who love and care for us, for our friends. But it’s REALLY hard on us too.

[tbartss]

vld hcs from question on curious cat

My response to this question was too long for curious cat so I’m posting it all here :’))

Lance: so many different headcanons that i love. - that his dad died in an accident when he was young (like about 7) and he was mostly raised by his mom and his uncle, his mother's brother. - his uncle taught him how to shoot. Started off with shooting cans in their backyard with a shotgun because Lance's pre-diagnosed adhd was running wild, and he needed something to distract him so that he didn't drive his already busy mother crazy - he played soccer before the garrison and was actually pretty good at it - there is only a years difference between him and rachel - he is bisexual - he has adhd - he misinterpreted his jealousy/attraction of Keith as hatred/rivalry - Insecure about his position but gains more and more confidence through Voltron - Met Hunk at the garrison (but sometimes i also like to imagine them as childhood best friends :')) ) - had a reputation at the garrison as a flirt, but he never let that deter him really - he's a flirt sure, but he's just trying his luck with love. I don't think he doesn't care about the people he flirts with, he actually cares a lot, and i think if anyone would just give him a shot, that he would make a great boyfriend (I am not counting canon allurance here bc there's so much wrong with that and this is already so long) - His love language is words of affirmation and physical affection - he has a giant scar on his back, either from the explosion in s1 or the lighting electricity thing from s6 - he has scars on his hands as well from practice - someone said that he throws knives with perfect aim and honestly i love that so much i'm gonna steal it - he has brown eyes :')) - he has glow in the dark stars in his childhood bedroom and a guitar that his grandmother painted a wave on

OK LET'S MOVE ON

Keith: - His dad died when he was 10 and he ended up in foster care directly after that - He self sabotaged the good homes because he didn't feel worthy of their love/because he still had hope his mom was gonna come after him - he loves his dad so much, like so fucking much - he's a lowkey artist. like,,,, he doesn't talk about it or anything, sometimes he just doodles, or he thinks about painting, you know stuff like that - his love language is acts of service and quality time - He met shiro when he was 13 - he's homodemisexual (fav hc) - He's asian (either japanese or korean, but really any east asian is good by me) - He's never been kissed - He's never drunk before - He went to the garrison to stay with shiro and because he didn't really have anything else to do. I don't think he was particularly interested in space tbh, like yea his dad might have been vague about the stars once but i don't think it really became a drive until after he met shiro or shiro disappeared - He's emotionally mature, but expresses his feelings rather agressively - he's blunt - has multiple scars on his person, not sure whether i'm fond of his cheek scar because of the context - not really into music as such (listens to a song here and there maybe, mostly the radio but even that is like,,, eh)

Pidge: - NON-BINARY (most important one) - asexual - is a literal child, so this means she still has a lot of maturing to do in regards to how she handles things - she may be a genius, but intelligence does not equal emotional maturity - i don't really have many headcanons for this gal unfortunately :((

Hunk: - raised by his mom and his dad - has an aunt that his mother doesn't liek to talk about because she's in a scandalous relationship with her boss - LOVES gossip - sunshine, friends with everyone - samoan --> learned to cook from his mother and his grandmother (mostly grandmother) - has an uncle who's a single father of one son - has two aunts that are raising two children together - lets only shiro into the kitchen to help (he simply doesn't trust the others) - Met Lance at the garrison (although again, childhood best friends :')) ) - sexuality... i've seen some people headcanon him as pansexual but idk,,, i can't really see him with a guy despite my love for heith and hance so im conflicted ToT - i don't have a lot for my boy hunk here either im sorry :'(((

Shiro: - raised by grandpa - parents died in an accident - wanted to become a pilot/astronaut bc of his grandmother - doesn't know how to cook for shit - was goofy when he was younger - realized he was gay when he was 15 and had his first gay crush (adam) - fedora phase - japanese obv - free-spirited until he eventeually began to settle down - suffers from ptsd - that's all i have so far aaaa

Allura: - was SUPER into philosophy back on altea - bisexual - super STRONGE - organized - night owl - badass in combat training - meant to pilot the black lion after shiro u CAN'T change my mind - best friends with Shiro - is shiro's age (sorry but i don't buy the teenager bullshit, it literally doesn't make sense, i don't care what they said in canon) - LIKES SPARKLY THINGS - has trouble sometimes leaving her father's shadow

Coran: - secret love affair with Alfor or some shit idk there's a weird tension there that convinces me they were together somehow - loves Allura SO MUCH - loves dressing fancy just for kicks - knows so many unnecessary facts - SUPER funny - doesn't know how to cook either lol - banned from the kitchen by Hunk because he lowkey sabotages his food out of spite lmao - likes to think of himself as young even tho,,, he isn't,,, really,,,, - that's it i think

AAA THIS WAS SO LONG BUT IF YOU'VE READ IT ALL UMM OMG U DESERVE A MEDAL OR SOMETHING ANYWAY BYE LOL

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do. 

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Me: Why is literally all the angst in the fandom for The Amazing World Of Gumball focused around Rob when Gumball himself has a shit ton of angst?

Someone: Lol what reason would he ever have for angst tho? He’s never been mistreated in the show y’know :P

Me: What about things like like that time when his dad told him outright that Darwin was the favorite child or when his mom left him in the middle of a desert and made him walk more than ten miles to get home because she thought he was a loser. Or when she yelled at him while an old lady beat him with a cane because his mom wanted him to steal a fish from her and was mad that her twelve year old son was crying for her help instead of fighting for the fish so she kinda just called him a loser. Or maybe it has something to do with that time he got into karate and the whole school laughed at and mocked him relentlessly. Or when Bobert stole his identity and everyone- his friends, family, and girlfriend- not only didn't notice, but explicitly liked the fake him better. Or when his school counselor told him and Darwin that their mother hated them (he let them know it wasn't true after but that still crushed the kids) and then proceeded to yell at them to be silent every time they tried to talk for the rest of the day, scaring both kids so deeply that when an emergency happened later in the episode they refused to speak at all to anyone until they knew they wouldn't be screamed at. And apparently there's been years of insults to his intelligence since once he recalls how his teacher laughed in his face and called him dumb when he failed a test and when his principal just straight up taunted him by calling him a looser. There was once when Gumball was rude to Carmen and later tried to apologize, saying, "I don't know why I said all that stuff..." to which Darwin responded "Because you're a gutless coward who likes to ruin other people's lives because he's a chicken? :)" and honestly that kind of insult isn't even abnormal since his classmates, friends, teachers, and family are all consistently telling him that he's a stupid, heartless, nonathletic, pathetic, hideous loser to the point where he's so scared of failure that he refuses to even try to play the triangle in the school band because he doesn't want to fail despite his uncanny musical abilities, and when he confided in Darwin about this, Darwin literally just called him a chicken with no concern for the fact that his brother was so insecure. His 'abnormally large head' and 'tiny brain' are often subjects of discussion at family dinners too. In earlier seasons he was generally a pretty positive, happy kid, but i'm pretty sure that it just kinda got to him after a while, explaining his more cynical nature in later episodes.  And that's not even touching on his clear mental health issues. I mean it's obvious he has anxiety- we've watched him have panic attacks multiple times on the show (usually resulting in someone screaming at him to calm down) to the point where it's just a normal occurrence- and he's even referred to them as panic attacks and anxiety attacks before, plus he's way too anxious about social interactions. Not to mention that i'm also absolutely certain that he has learning difficulties, probably stemming from adhd or a similar disorder (he never stays still, has trouble concentrating, is super hyperactive, etc, so I assume adhd tbh). And we know he's capable of being smart too! I mean, he supposedly bombs tests on the regular in a classroom environment, but when taken out of the classroom and put alone in a quiet room with no distractions he literally aced the test completely, which once again makes me wonder if his poor grades are just because the adults in his life are shitty and he clearly needs accommodations to succeed for the obvious mental health issues he has but everyone around him would rather just call him stupid and hopeless or just too lazy to try. To the point where he really thinks he's stupid and has legitimately stopped trying despite the fact that he really did want to succeed at multiple points throughout the show. But uh...I guess that’s not compelling enough.