#that is stimming behavior i know my kind

[nepnepian]

I realize I’m a fresh blood of roughly half a year to guilty gear but I need to speak my truth.

[doctorweebmd]

someone pointed out something I did the other day that I didn’t really notice I do and then I was like….. yeah why do I do that and turns out it’s stimming. And apparently I do it. A lot.

[eats-the-stars]

everybody who went to a private catholic school name the craziest personal belief an instructor lectured the class on.

i'll go first: mentally disabled people are free of original sin, just like animals, so they get a free pass to heaven

[headspace-hotel]

"New (old) perspectives on self-injurious and aggressive biting" published in Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis / Nine Inch Nails- The Hand that Feeds

I was troubled to see a trend of claiming that Autistic people who do not support Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) are a group of "low-support-needs" autistics who are monopolizing the conversation and taking resources away from autistics with higher support needs—I think it is misunderstanding.

Individual positive or negative experiences with ABA are irrelevant here—the fundamental core of the therapy is behaviorism, the idea that an autistic person can be "treated" by rewarding "desirable" behaviors and punishing "undesirable" behaviors, and that an increase in desirable behaviors and decrease in undesirable behaviors constitutes successful treatment

In researching I found that ABA practitioners have published statements condemning conversion therapy. They refer to an unfortunate historical association between ABA and conversion therapy, but it is not association—ABA literally is conversion therapy; the creator of it used it to try to "cure" little boys that were too feminine.

ABA is considered "medically necessary" treatment for autism and the only "proven" treatment, in that it is proven to create decrease in "undesirable" behaviors and increase in "desirable" behaviors.

Undesirable behaviors for an autistic person might include things like stimming and talking about their interests, desirable behaviors might include eye contact, using verbal speech, playing with toys in the "right" way.

The BCBA behavior analyst code of ethics does not prohibit "aversive" methods (e.g. electric shock) to punish undesirable behaviors

The code of ethics only discusses the consent of the "client," not the person receiving the treatment

Many people will say "my child's ABA therapist would never make them repress harmless stims, give up their interests, use electric shocks...They understand the value of neurodiversity and emphasize the consent of the child..."

But consider...if nothing binds or requires an ABA therapist to treat stimming as important, nor restrains them from using abusive techniques, nor requires them to consider the consent of a person being treated, what protects vulnerable people other than luck? The ABA therapist still has an innately unethical level of power over a child being "treated."

Furthermore, consider: can a therapy built on the goal of controlling the behavior of a person who cannot meaningfully consent to it, especially without hard limits or protections on the kinds of behavior that can be coerced or controlled, ever be ethical?

I found many articles that discuss teaching "compliance" in autistic children, treating "compliance" as a reasonable goal to strive for without qualification...

The abstract of the above article struck me with a spark of inspiration. Biting is an undesirable behavior to be controlled, understandably so, since most would feel that violence should not be allowed. But I was suddenly reminded of the song "The Hand that Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails, which is a play on the saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," meaning don't lash out against someone that is kind to you.

But doesn't "the hand that feeds you" implicitly have power over you through being able to give or withhold food? In this case, kindness can be a form of coercion. Thus "biting the hand that feeds" is used in the song as a metaphor for autonomy and resisting coercive power. The speaker asks the audience if they have the courage to test the benevolence of their oppressors, or if they will remain compliant and unquestioning even though they know deep down that it isn't right.

Likewise the article blunders into something unintentionally poetic when it recognizes that biting is an innately possible behavior in response to "aversive" stimuli or the "removal of reinforcers." Reinforcers and aversives in ABA are discussed as tools used by the therapist—the presentation of a preferred food would be a reinforcer, for instance (and is often used as such in ABA).

The journal article considers biting as a behavioral problem, even though the possibility that someone may bite can never be eliminated. Contrastingly, "The Hand that Feeds" highlights the coercive power behind the ability to control your behavior, even when that control appears benevolent and positive, and argues that "biting the hand that feeds you" is not only a possibility but a moral imperative.

Consider: In what circumstances would you bite someone? To defend your own body? To defend your life? Are there circumstances in which biting would be the reasonable and the right action to take?

What authority decides which behaviors are desirable or undesirable, and rewards or punishes compliance or resistance? Who is an authority—your therapist? Your teacher? Your caregiver? Any adult? Any person with the power to reward or punish?

In what circumstances might compliance be demanded of you? In what circumstances would it be justifiable not to comply? What authority decides which circumstances are justifiable?

Can you imagine a circumstance where it might be important for a child to not comply with the demands of an adult? For a citizen to not comply with the demands of a government? Which authorities demand compliance in a right and just manner, and which demand compliance to things that are evil and wrong? Which authority has the power to differentiate the two? Should you trust them? Will you bite the hand that feeds you?/Will you stay down on your knees?

[pomefioredove]

I LOVED the stim headcanons sm! it scratched my autistic brain in a good way :333

I was wondering if you could possibly do headcanons with the rest of Diasomnia, Pomefiore, and Heartslabyul with the same premise (the stimming thing)? I can see Trey being very accommodating for the reader :3

Thank you! 🩷🩷🩷🩷

hi anon I was in therapy yesterday for the first time in a while and when I got out I realized I had been stimming the ENTIRE time

dorm leaders + jamil

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ reader who stims!

type of post: headcanons characters: ace, deuce, trey, cater, epel, rook, sebek, silver, lilia additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

now, I don't think Ace makes fun of it, but he definitely...

"you're doing that thing again,"

listen, it's not that it bothers him, or distracts him. it's not even weird!

he just... finds you really... interesting?

will say you're an "interesting critter fr bro" and leave it

Deuce is the complete opposite

he will never ever say anything about your stims

won't even ask

he just really doesn't want to be rude. he's not that guy anymore!

(you don't know how to tell him that he stims without realizing it)

he's like your knight in shining armor... kind of

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

guys I hate to say it but Cater has 100% armchair diagnosed most of the people he knows

and like... he's right... but come on!

at least he usually keeps it to himself. so when he picks up on your stimming he just... doesn't say anything

it's just another nice little tidbit of information on you :) of which he has many

for normal reasons

of course

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Trey is a sweetie, as always

but he's also a liar

he is not, in fact, "this nice to everyone"

he actually does the bare minimum he needs to do to get by

the guy is spoiling you

making sure you're fed and warm and comfortable the moment you step over the threshold

stimming is no problem

if you like the feeling of dough, or the sound of eggs cracking, he'll have you in the kitchen with him :)

he rather likes you, and your stims

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I know Rook's autistic self isn't about to say anything

but, really, he already stims. subtly, but constantly

and seeing you mirror his own behaviors...

he is smitten

as if he couldn't grow any fonder of you...

now, unless it becomes upsetting or harmful, he sees no reason to stop you. he rather likes watching your every little move

and Epel is a loyal little thing

once you're his, that's it, it's over, you could literally kill someone and he'd show up with bleach and a mop like "where's the body"

so, yeah

some humming or tapping or clicking isn't going to bother him

honestly half the time he doesn't even notice

bro is too busy fighting his sensory issues with his uniform

(the sensory issues are winning)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Sebek scolds you for distracting him

he can already hardly think straight when his eyes are always drawn to you!!! >:(

now you're moving, too?!

he can't help but stare, which just upsets him more

it's not until Lilia takes your side that he calms down

the aforementioned having his own... quirks

(and much louder ones, too)

this is all background noise for Silver

is he just used to it? is he currently half-asleep and wouldn't notice if a bomb went off behind him?

who's to say!

he's passing out on your shoulder while you repeat the same word over and over either way

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Announcement

Ok, so waking up to this little surprise kind of made my day.

With this following:

The two of them in a nutshell. 🤣

And this is how it looks on the Big Hit IG account.

Curious how their names are actually placed next to the other, so that JK's name is next to JM and JM's name is next to JK's.

Curious is what I am going to say.

But back to that little surprise we got.

And before I get into it I want to stress, and this is a given by now, but I will say it once again: these are my observations and opinions. Opinions being the key word here.

Just before we begin on this little surprise clip we got, can someone explain why it's titled 'Are you sure?!' Announcement (from USA) when it actually looks like this was filmed when they were in Jeju?🤔

I'm sorry, but we afraid of watering down, were we?

They couldn't even edit out the gay from a 1:23 min. announcement...

And this is them trying really hard to be on their best behavior for less than a couple of minutes on camera with a script to follow. 🤣

What will we be getting when they are in a relaxed natural setting???

With so much stand alone Jikook content, no amount of editing will be able to hide their dynamics, what they are to each other, what they mean to each other.

I cannot wait!!!

I've already mentioned this in the reblog of JM's Muse numbers, but I am bringing this up again the 1:23!!!

Intentional. A choice. Not a coincidence.

Not when this just keeps to happen again and again and again and again and again... countless times.

What can I tell you? They just melt my heart.

The way I just know that this ended with shits and giggles.

You can see JK breaking into laughter as the camera cuts. That little bob of his Adam's apple, snickering away.

This wasn't an easy one for them to shoot. JK looked tired (end or start of a day filled with activity?), JM looked I don't want to say flustered at times, because that is a big word, but at the same time I don't know what word to use to describe him being a little off his game. JK did his stimming and a little of his swaying, and as much as they clearly had a script to follow (I will get to that), it felt like it was still a hard one to keep a straight face to (JM was the one that mainly faltered on that part). I guess that was also him finding it hard to stay stoic when JK is being adorable, and even harder to do when you have to read out a script describing something that as is has you a little anxious, and you are JM and think that every single thing that JK does is adorable.

🤣

This announcement was all about them and only them. We know how they are with these announcements with the other 5 around to buffer them. Not only was there none of that here, but this was about them, their show, their travels, their Tokyo (notice how very unalike themselves they were while talking about the Tokyo trip? Trying to be unemotional? Like reading out of a text - which they basically were). This show is not a big deal for them. It's a huge deal. And it's not about 'coming out' or not. This is the first time we are being allowed into their world, just them. Not a few minutes of interaction. A whole show seeing them in what JM described ups and downs (I am very curious to see what that's about). We have seen them in relaxed situations in the past. We had BV and ITS. But that has 7 members with interactions and dynamics amongst the lot. This is just JM and JK the whole time. And even with a shit ton of editing that will surely be going on, we are going to be getting a peek into THEM, and this is something that is a huge deal for them, even more so JM.

This is JM talking about the show, their moments that they will be sharing with us. And think that this is JM talking before Sapporo (not to mention Tokyo which looks like we aren't going to be getting any of in this show - shock - not really).

If there was an unscripted moment in this clip, I tend to think this might have been it. Other than that, I think that the two were pretty much on script.

Now let's address that one for a second shall we?

I do believe this announcement recording was scripted. They weren't doing bullet points. This was too hard for them to come up with off the top of their heads. Situation too charged. So there was a script, that could have even been written by themselves. There were things that needed to be said, points to keep to, especially if it was them having this all squeezed into a neat 1:23 minute clip. And just winging it, even more so on this specific subject matter was not an option (btw, most of their announcements are scripted, we see that, we know that, and this in that sense is no different, although again, this one was, in my opinion, way harder for them).

This clip we got to see today is them being on camera scripted for 1:23 minutes.

And this is them on camera without a script for basically the same amount of time (even less in the one frame).

This, my friends, is a good example as to why they needed not only dot points but an actual script to follow here, lol.

So, you understand now why this HAD to be scripted. Same reason why JM kept denying JK of his wish to have a live together.

Before continuing, just wanted to mention this as well:

The way JK is holding on to his hand (there was absolutely nothing wrong with it, this was just him holding himself back). That was the first thing I thought of when this clip started and JK was standing that way holding his hand. But then I looked again and what did I see? Nothing too significant, just the two mirroring each other in they way they are placing their hands, left hand over right. Not a biggie, just a cutie. At the start of the clip, as seen above. And towards the end of it, as seen below.

Cuties.

Back to the scripting... sorry for getting off track. It's not me it's them.🤣

And then you will say: "well, what's the difference between that (as in the announcement clip) and the show?" and to that I will reply:

"Everything".

The show is them being them, travelling, having fun doing different activities, relaxing, at times forgetting the cameras are even there. They get to be themselves without holding back. Because they know that if they are themselves too much then they have the editing to fall back on. Not to mention the difference between an announcement or a live where the full attention is on the audience, that's us (and if they don't have a script they tend to lose focus on us and focus on each other instead - same reason JM told us in the past why he didn't have JK over for his live - he would be paying attention to him instead of us), and the travel show where the attention is on them and their interactions. In that capacity they are supposed to forget the cameras are there. The cameras are there to document them being themselves, natural, with genuine interactions, which they will be, and we, my friends, are going to enjoy every single second of it.

Back to our announcement clip.

The amount of cuts and probably re-takes they needed here. And even with this obviously scripted message it was hard for them to stay grounded (yes, for both of them).

I see where Bunny is going with this and that cut does feel a heck a lot sus. And it is very possible that JK did say something that flustered JM. Although I do still believe that his "I'm not even sure it's ok to release this" isn't meant for something JK might have said while recording this clip (which had multiple cuts to it as they knew it would), but more so to what was referenced by them as "you'll see us as we are".

And yes, it appears like JM is pulling JK back into frame, but if you watch the full video you see that they were both kind of going in and out of it without JM bothering too much. So why here? First off, I think that JK was a little more jittery at this point, he was stimming more and doing a little of his swaying, which JM calms with a touch at times. Perhaps because this was the 'revealing' part? The one they get into a bit of the nitty gritty of the show? Idk.

But I don't think that was the only reason either. I think JM needed the touch at that moment as well. See how he moves from JK's arm to his nape holding on as he says "I'm not even sure it's ok to release this"... like he needed that reassurance himself as well at that moment.

Idk, to me it felt like JM hand placement was done not only to comfort JK but also himself.

And cut/edit, JM is not holding on to JK anymore...

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that we are used to JM being the one to calm JK, ground him. And although I do think that was the correct assumption in the past, I do think that since 2021 that has changed and JK is to JM as JM is to JK the person who calms or grounds them. JM told us as much in Letter.

We also got to see the two with one single hoop in their left ear.

Was this the same day, or did they just wear the hoops like that their whole Jeju getaway? JK in the photos from their meet up with Tae seems to have another earring in his right ear, so possibly not same day.

And will leave you with this as well to do with as you wish.

Ok, not going to talk your ears off, pun intended.

Just one more little secret to tell you, if I already have you here:

Shh...

Don't tell anybody else, this is between me and you...

These two...

They're in love.

Shh...

You didn't here it from me.

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

so a few days ago i watched the episode where house treats an autistic kid (s03e04) and i'm still hung up on it, because i genuinely can't tell what the writers want us to think re: whether or not house is autistic

basically they spent the whole episode showing house being very autistic and then at the very end had wilson say, "nah he just wants to be autistic to excuse his assholery" (which. yikes. but moving on)

i mean is the audience supposed to see wilson as a reliable voice here? aka all house's autistic signs were written as some kind of bait and switch? "lol you thought house was autistic bc he was doing all these autistic things but really he just wishes he were autistic to explain his behavior!"

except. bestie he DID do all those autistic things. he legit couldn't tolerate his office with the new carpet. He did identify with the autistic kid, and they made a huge deal out of the fact that house was the only one who figured out how to calm him down. my man stims nonstop. he has sensory issues. he knows social rules bc he's obsessed with analyzing human behavior, but he openly states that the rules do not actually make sense to him.

like i'm happy to just have a headcanon that fills the gap between what the writers seem to want us to think vs what their story is actually showing us (done that many a time) . . . but usually i can at least tell what the writers' intentions even are?

[chiscaralight]

A reader that loves to nibble on scara's stomach. Like one day, bitcj just rested her head underneath his shirt and started nibbling and licking certain spots on his stomach. Because she finds it so cute?? She loves how soft it is, the little fold of skin and fat she can pinch between her teeth and the way it contracts... (If you want, you can make her neurodivergent for a bonus if you're comfortable with it, because I just KNOW that me biting on my partner would be stimming)

Haha, no bc I've a newfound love for slim, short guys. I don't know WHAT type of body bro would have in canon, but let's imagine this?

Ik its a weird request, but I just think that bro's body would be super cute😭

me and slim guys have signed a done deal pls.

the first time it happened he definitely slapped reader upside the head😭bc what kind of behavior is that? he was just trying to take off his shirt to get changed, now that he's pulling it over his head he's met with you sheepishly rubbing your head and a fresh bite march on his stomach. he can't even stay mad for long, he knows that's the way you are.

its also why after a while he gives up on stopping you entirely. when you two are laid up together and you start to slide a little further down, he just rolls his eyes. your head is resting underneath his sweater as you prod and poke at his midsection, before taking a very generous bite from that one specific area. and when you drag your finger over the bite marks a little too softly, he's sucking in instinctively which makes you laugh. you wrap your arms around him and sink your face into his belly.

[sh1nsoukoku]

Pls tell me all dazai autism traits in ur list

OMG I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED, yes yes yes…

I want to preface this by saying this is in no means supposed to be canon facts or a diagnosis, I just think he is a very autistic-coded character coming from my own experiences as an autistic adult!

Long post under the cut because I don’t know how to stfu!!!

We will start with my main reasoning:

As we know, Dazai and his ability are based off of the work No Longer Human. Dazai being similar to the main character Yozo. Yozo is a kind of “stand in” for the real life author Osamu Dazai as No Longer Human contains a lot of real events from the author’s life. BSD Dazai and Yozo’s main similarities are the disconnection from others and high masking. Here are two quotes from the book:

“All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about? How should I say it? - I don’t know.”

This is incredibly similar to the lived experiences of Autistic people. I used to feel like an alien, or just fundamentally different than others. We tend to also struggle with communicating and other social dynamics. Dazai feels isolated from others, let’s very few people close, and searches for meaning by observing other humans and life and death itself. He quotes this as his reason for joining the Mafia. He also processes emotion differently, at odds with people around him.

“I managed to maintain on the surface a smile which never deserted my lips; this was the accommodation I offered to others, a most precarious achievement performed by me only at the cost of excruciating efforts within.”

This is one of the best descriptions I have read of Autistic Masking. Dazai HIGHLY masks. Dazai is known for not showing his true thoughts/feelings/opinions often in BSD. He can code switch easily, serious in one moment and then covering it with his over the top silly/unusual/maniacal personality. In NLH this is described as “clowning.” I also think Dazai’s genius “always according to plan” thing is sometimes a mask, so he doesn’t show the fact that he’s working hard to pull strings and figure things out.

He does have some insane pattern recognition though which is also an autistic attribute!

And now for the more surface level reasons:

Repetitive Behavior/Media Consumption: Dazai reads the same book over and over again. The Ultimate Guide to Suicide is a book he’s had with him since his PM days and he tells Atsushi that he already knows everything it says because he’s read it hundreds of times. A very common autistic trait!

Restricted Diet: Dazai seems to have a limited diet consisting of alcohol and canned crab! It’s a same food/safe food he has often. His room was described to be full of discarded cans of crab and bottles. Limited diets are common in autistic people.

Stimming: Dazai stims! He is a very wiggly and stimmy person. There’s several scenes where he is seen humming and singing or making little silly noises.

Dazai and his headphones are so important to me.. he seems to wear them frequently around the office. It could be noise cancelling or auditory stimulation that he likes.

The man never sits normally on a chair which is something I think a lot of neurodivergent people can relate to.

And of course floor time! Shown by him rolling around when stressed, laying on the rooftop and a few instances in Wan! like the marshmallow scene.

Also you can’t tell me that this is not two burnt out autistics after overworking their brains…

[cripplecharacters]

Alright, so long story short, my oc has a autism service dog (who is kind of also her familiar) and is a witch. What can I do to make this character realistic?

(sorry if this is vague, I have no other idea how to express this.)

Hi asker!

The most important thing would be to do research on service animals and how they specifically help people.

First, service animals are also a huge investment, both in terms of time and in terms of money. Owner training is expensive, but so can a professional trainer. Someone who gets a service dog via a charity will still be on the hook for things like food and vet bills. This means that someone who doesn't have enough time or money might not have a service dog because they're a pretty big commitment. They're not generally a first resort, because while they are very useful and can really help many people, they are also an alive being. And anything that's alive needs more care than things that aren't. Dogs have to eat and poop and pee and that needs consideration; and they can get sick, distracted, develop allergies to foods, and whatnot while machines can't. So thinking about how your character navigates these things will help them feel more realistic.

Not that you have to include or even know every detail of how they paid for training or how many hours they spent on it! But just knowing the general idea will be good.

Second, what tasks does the dog do to help your character? Basically, what does she need help with that the dog can do?

The International Association of Assistance Dog Partners has a list of tasks a service dog could perform for psychiatric conditions; it mentions depression, anxiety, and PTSD specifically but are not exclusive to those. From that list I'm including a couple that could be relevant to an autistic character, although it's in not exhaustive.

Bringing medication

Summon help from designated people

Assistance leaving an area by finding the exit

Providing deep pressure therapy to calm/ground handler

Help 'unfreeze' handler from dissociation or similar

The organization Ella's Animals also has a list of tasks a service dog for specifically autism could do; again, not exhaustive:

Providing deep pressure therapy to calm/ground handler (mentioned again!)

Trained tactile stimulation to ground handler

Behavior interruption, like of harmful stimming

Alerting handler of something they're not responding to

"Buffering" in crowds

Retrieving items

Alerting of elopement (NOTE: tethering and body-blocking are sometimes mentioned as something a service dog can do for autistic handlers, particularly children. But generally speaking, this shouldn't be done. It can be dangerous for the dog and the handler.)

You'll want to think of what tasks your character will generally need from their service dog, and while you don't have to describe them all in great detail, mentioning them when relevant will be pretty important and make your character feel more real.

Also, depending on your character's witchiness, too, you could add a little flair. Like maybe your character needs extra assistance after they cast spells because it's overwhelming, or they had to train the dog to recognize what they look like when they're casting spells so the dog doesn't interrupt!

I hope this helps!

– mod sparrow

[storm-angel989]

Hey!! So I was wondering if you can do an autistic reader that has a problem doing negative stims like pulling hair, scratching skin until it bleeds or biting everything. Thank you!! Also keep up the good work, you are really amazing at it! ♥️

Hi friend,

Absolutely! Thank you so so much for your kind words <3

Though it's not specifically mentioned, I did my best to write the reader as autistic. As an individual who is not diagnosed with autism, I did a bit of research, talked to some people and used my own experiences with the autism community to write this story. I do want to note that negative stims are not exclusive to an autism diagnosis- many other forms of neurodivergent can be comorbid with them. This story is for anyone who engages in a negative stim- with or without the official diagnosis <3 Take a peek at what I’ve come up with and enjoy!

<3 Mandy

Valentino set his laptop down, wrapped his hand around his daughter's wrist and gently began to untangle her hand from her hair. Across the table, her fidget toy sat, played with but left behind in favor of a more fulfilling motion. Although his daughter had always engaged in stimming, it wasn’t until more recently that he noticed the drastic increase in what he perceived as negative stims. 

Stress, the doctor had told them could be triggering the hair pulling, the scratching. He offered them replacement strategies, fidgets, items she could safely bite, along with the suggestion to enroll her in cognitive behavior therapy. He also strongly suggested she receive one to one attention in times that triggered stress, and despite Reader’s reluctance, the four of them made sure someone sat with her during homework time. So far, they were two weeks into it and in his mind, she was still struggling as much as she had the first day. 

“Dad, stop!” Reader protested. “Let go!” 

“Relax your hand,” he said patiently. “I won’t let go until you do.” 

“I can’t help it,” she said defensively.  

Valentino didn’t answer. After a moment, her hand relaxed and he carefully untangled her fingers. Wordlessly, he lifted up a brush and carefully worked through the few knots she had managed to make in her long hair. The doctor had suggested cutting it, something Reader vehemently refused to do. Valentino respected her choice, provided she allowed him to take care of it when she couldn’t. 

“At, no,” he said as he took her other hand before her fingertips pressed against her face. Carefully, he handed her a small squishy ball and watched as she squeezed it tightly. 

“It’s not the same,” she said after a moment. 

“I know bebitia,” he replied softly. “But I want you to try. Finish your homework, and then you can go play.” 

He was grateful that her nails, at least, she agreed to be allowed to be kept short. She didn’t like the feeling of long nails anyway. With one eye on her, he looked back to his screen as she continued to squeeze the small toy with one hand, pencil in the other. Part of him wished he could pull her from the more advanced classes she took, he was sure the extra work caused stress. But the other part of him knew if he put her back in mainstream classes, she would be bored out of her mind. It was a double edged sword, either way he looked at it. 

“Daddy, what’s twenty five times six?” she asked after a moment. “It’s my last problem, can you help?”

“Three tries, then Papi will help you,” he said absentmindedly as he continued to type. Schedules swirled in his mind as the minutes ticked past. Angel Dust, he was owed when? Next week? Tomorrow?

“There, Dad, I’m done,” she said finally. 

Valentino looked up and took the proffered paper. A quick glance over and he scrawled his name across the top. 

“Good job sweetheart, you can go play,” he told her as he stood up. 

He watched as she took off towards the living room and settled into her play area. He sat on the couch facing her and opened the next email in line. A quick glance up at her and alarm spread across his features. 

“Bebita, no. Spit that out, right now,” he scolded as he jumped up from the couch. He knelt down next to her and took her chin in his hands. With practice ease, he pressed into her jaw and removed the rubber plastic doll shirt from her mouth. From his pocket, he pulled out her larger rubber Y shaped fidget, meant to be chewed on. 

“What happens when we put toys in our mouths?” He asked as he pressed the chewy into her hand. 

She didn’t answer and instead sat crossed legged, arms folded across her chest and scowled at him. Without responding, she threw the Y across the living room. 

Valentino took a deep breath. Behavior, at its core, was a form of communication. He needed to remember that, to stay calm.

 “I understand you don’t like the chewy Y. But you cannot chew on Polly Pockets clothes. Do you remember why?”

A few moments of silence. Finally, she turned her head to the side. “I could choke, or swallow them by mistake,” she mumbled.

“Right. And if you choke, you won’t be able to breathe and you could die. And if you swallow them, you have to go to the hospital and get it taken out of your tummy. Do you want that?” He asked patiently. 

She shook her head no and he kissed the top of her head. 

“I didn’t think so,” he said. “Do you want me to put the polly pockets away, or do you think you can keep them out of your mouth?” 

“Put them away,” she said dejectedly. “Daddy, I don’t want them in my tummy.” She reached up towards her head and buried her fingers in her hair. 

“I don’t either,” he said patiently as he took her wrist in his hand. “Come on baby, why don’t you come sit with Papi for a bit?” 

Reluctantly, she relaxed her hand. He bent down and lifted his kindergarten daughter into his arms. 

“Tight squeeze,” she asked softly. “Please?” 

Valentino sat on the couch and squeezed her as tightly as he could before releasing her. 

“More?” He asked. 

She shook her head no and instead cuddled into the crook of his arm. Valentino lifted up the remote and turned on the television. 

“Any requests?” He asked. “Or should I pick a show?” 

She shrugged and Valentino clicked on what he knew was one of her favorite comfort shows. With her safely tucked into his arms, he set his laptop on his opposite knee and began to type. A few minutes later, he felt her breathing slow and he gave her a soft smile. 

“Duerme bebe niña papá está aquí,” he said softly. 

[mias-blogs]

Thank you for your request! I googled some things about autism since I'm not too well aware with the topic, very sorry if any information is wrong or seen as offensive, that was absolutely not part of my plan or intention, any mistakes are complete accidents (I only did Qin, I hope you don't mind and it's kinda short because I'm currently going to a family gathering so I'm sorry about that T - T)

Qin Shi Huang

Slightly amused by the lack of an attention span you have, but doesn't really mind it at most times

He knows it may be a little different for you to be too social with people and doesn't mind doing the talking for you

This man can sit down and listen to you talk about your interests all day long, it doesn't matter if you think your interest is “childish” as it's seen by other people, he'll just sit down and genuinely listen to you

Doesn't really bother him that you repeat your words or sentences at times, it's interesting to him how you can forget what you just said just a couple of minutes ago, he may chuckle a little and when you ask he just tells you it's nothing and to keep talking

He knows you like to fidget with things at times, so he just gives you his hand so you can play around with his guard nail things he wears on his fingers (I forgot what they're called)

Tries to keep the same reunite going or doesn't do to much changes to most things because he knows how you may have a bit of a reaction to it.

He's amused if you have any kind of repetitive behavior, like spinning, finds it a little silly but let's you do your thing

He tries to remember your traits of stimming, like if you bite your nails or twirl your hair, he just puts his hand on your shoulder and pulls you close

[drdemonprince]

You’ve probably answered this before but I’m not sure where - if I’m looking to self-diagnose wrt autism, what would be some good resources?

I’ve taken the online sample tests, but they are usually asking about traits or behaviors I’ve essentially grown out of or learned to cope with over time. Then I feel confused about how to answer and question the efficacy of the test. But then I see some descriptions of autism on social media and feel very seen, but I also know there’s a shit ton of misinfo going around… thanks for your work!

I don't think any kind of diagnostic tool is useful or helpful anymore than it would be for figuring out you're gay. We figure out who we are by meeting other people, listening to their stories, interacting with them, building community with them, trying out new experiences (and accommodations and special interests and stims etc) for ourselves, and forging a better understanding of who we are in relationship to others. Gay and trans people figure out who we are through these forms of active, interpersonal explorations and social learning experiences, and I think that's how it ought to be for Autistics who are self-realizing as well.

I have a whole host of resources I recommend watching/reading/reflecting upon in my book Unmasking Autism, as well as a ton of interactive exercises designed to help people self-realize and unmask, so of course I recommend picking that up if you haven't, but really how we find out who we are is in relation to others who we see ourselves reflected in.

[bettathanyou]

hii i just wanted to say i really appreciate how much love you put into all of your writings, its all so heartwarming and detailed, and you capture cedrics character SO well. you have such an in depth understanding of his personality and its commendable. i really admire your dedication and love for this guy and how willing you are to share it with others :]

but ya i have a request, a headcanon list (or story/anything u wanna do) of Cedrics autistic behavior and maybe how he would act with an autistic partner? the idea of there being this mutual understanding of each others needs is really sweet to me. also i personally hc him with adhd alongside autism so it would be neat if that could get mixed in somehow, too :D no problem if not!

ANON. WTF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY FR?? THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, THANK YOU. I get so scared of MISCHARACTERIZING Cedric, so to hear that I have an in depth understanding of him from you made my entire day, month, YEAR. I hope this headcanon list is good and up to expectations!!

AuDHD Cedric The Sorcerer Headcanons (With Autistic S/O)

Coming from someone with AuDHD with an autistic best friend, I can't stress how much source material I have to speak about this sifkdiieis

FIRST THINGS FIRST. SENSORY ISSUES GALOREEEEE. That man will shrivel and die if he were ever in the modern era and came into direct contact with a microfiber towel.

A secret Headcanon I have (outside of the reasons I listed in my first headcanon list about Cedric!) Is he wears gloves BECAUSE Cedric has sensory/texture issues. His potion ingredients seem incredibly bizarre at times, and I'm sure the textures of them just get overwhelming at times. If you're wondering why the fingertips are exposed, he might need the extra grip to handle delicate objects, etc etc.

His robe is basically a weighted blanket, argue with the wall. He needs to be regulated somehow, and he's still a nervous wreck anyways

We know Cedric's speech is affected by his audhd. Dude has pedantic speech, overly emotive or deadpan, his volume control is non-existent when excited.

Expanding on that, his tendency to mix up words for spells seems a little... Neurospicy, on top of the anxiety

Forgets spells constantly. Not actually forget how to do them, just forgetting they exist cuz adhd

Has CHRONICALLY turned his workshop inside out because the thing Cedric was using just disappeared after he set it down!

(it was in his hand the whole time lol)

HC that outside of, yk, lack of personal space because no one knocks except Sofia, Autism rage whenever you're being interrupted from a task, especially something your fixated on, DRIVES HIM SO INSANE

Lack of patience. Just. Irritable, and same

His only friend (before Sofia) was an animal companion. C'mon y'all.

Music is so important to Cedric! It helps him regulate. He sings, he dances, he appreciates the dragon Acapella! Definitely uses music to stim, as well as dancing. He does it way too much. Audhd people usually are very connected to creative outlets such as music

Speaking of, his flying machine? CEDRIC IS AN INVENTOR. SO MANY INVENTORS ARE/WERE NEURODIVERGENT

Cedric is so genuinely shocked by kindness from Sofia even though she's consistent with it. That can definitely be trauma, but also feels like a lack of emotional permanence

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria SO BADDDDD Cedric would have a shutdown about it (thanks ADHD)

Prone to more shutdowns than meltdowns. But as we know, shutdowns inevitably lead to meltdowns anyways. I hc that Cedric is definitely seen as "melancholic" because his mood shifts as well as masking (poorly) his mental state after having meltdowns in private

Definitely tugs at his hair, bites himself, hits his head/fists on hard surfaces during meltdowns :((

Cedric's job as royal sorcerer is fun for the knowledge as special interest aspect, but the social parts leaves him in bad burnout, at least before his redemption

Still hates the social aspect of his job though

Potions are his special interest

The amulet of avalor was a hyperfixation, there I said it!

Due to trauma, but also to adhd, I think Cedric has no emotional object permanence. Dude for real acts a little TOO shocked towards Sofias kindness-

There is two types of audhd: sarcasm is the only language they're fluent in, and cannot distinguish sarcasm to save their life. Cedric is the first.

Sofia is the second type LMAO

Where's the same outfit everyday. Like. Cedric would buy the same set of clothes/outfits because too many choices are just overwhelming, and too many textures are Bad

Speaking of textures, again

Picky eater

I've never seen Cedric eat anything except those jellybean looking candies at his parents house

Jellybean/sweets as a safe food

I hc personally that Cedric is familiar with food magic because he conjures his own meals. I can't imagine people would respect his needs/wants enough to be especially accommodating, so he did it himself

Cedric talks to children as equals because of the lack of social hierarchy due to autism

However with the royals his age he is desperately trying to please people for the sake of acceptance (mood)

Okay

Rapid fire s/o headcanons!

Y'all either talk for hours, or parallel play without a word

Doing Nothing Together While Vibing Is Essential

Even though y'all understand each other well, sometimes the weird social rules you force yourself to mask with still stick. So sometimes y'all will have to ask "are you mad or are you unmasked rn"

Same thing with sarcasm. Taking jokes too literally so then you gotta ask for clarification. At this point it just adds to the joke xD

Cuddling/hugs is the best because THE DEEP PRESSUREEEEE

But also don't touch me when I need space pls

Infodumping whenever the chances arise

Seeing cedrics eyes sparkle his smile lines crease when talking about something that excited him feels like the warmest ray of sunshine

Cedric will sometimes get distracted by how much he loves you and loves seeimh you being happy while infodumping and will ask you to repeat things while apologizing profusely

Cedric will buy you little comfort objects you like or give you cool things he finds

Pebbling!!!

Sometimes y'all need to sleep alone for the sake of space, but other nights you gotta be in each other's skin

And both are okay!

Laying in bed doing a separate activity until bedtime is a good compromise when one of you doesn't want to spend the night, but still wants time together

Switching hyperfixations

Adopting each other's vocal stims/speech mannerisms

Suddenly you're saying Merlin's mushrooms UNIRONICALLY

When shutdowns happen, y'all have communication cards! Very helpful for both parties :))

You both doodled in the margins of each other's communication cards

Cedric chronically loses his and you now you're just letting him use yours until they manifest again 😭

Meltdowns, Cedric needs to be alone. He just can't handle ANYONE seeing it, even you

You respect that... And take care of him afterwards with whatever he needs

Whatever way you need support during shutdowns/meltdowns, Cedric accommodates without question

Just

So much love and acceptance and CHOOSING to put in the work in your relationship

Anyways, that's all I got! Feel free to add on! TYSM for the ask!! This was so lovely and self indulgent to write lmaooo

[lick-me-lennon22]

Ringo X AuDHD!Reader

(another request fill!! I hope this one doesn't read as too generic as i spent a lot of time on it and did my research, and please note there may be overlaps with the previous post due to the nature of the prompt 💞 I do not have ADHD nor (diagnosed) autism so as always, please let me know if any of my writing comes off as insensitive or offensive !! please enjoy these headcanons + short drabble ✨️)

known for his kind and gentle demeanor, Ringo takes on a deep sense of understanding and patience within your relationship

he is curious and eager to learn, taking the time to educate himself and to become familiar with your unique needs and experiences

you enjoy learning from one another; Ringo gaining insights into your experiences with autism and ADHD, and you hearing about his life in the limelight

understanding the importance of routine, Ringo would be supportive and accommodating

he would enjoy establishing routines and schedules with you, trying his best to create a sense of stability in your lives despite his own struggles with ADHD

he tries to keep things structured and predictable to reduce your feelings of anxiety

however, this doesn't mean he won't understand the importance of flexibility

with his easygoing nature, Ringo is always happy to modify plans and apparently to the changing needs and rhythms of his partner, approaching these situations with patience and understanding

he finds joy in helping you plan your day-to-day activities, taking care to ensure transitions are smooth and anticipated

Ringo is very attentive to your sensory needs and sensitivities, taking steps to create a calming, sensory-friendly environment when you are together

he may adjust lighting, reduce noise levels, or provide sensory tools according to your preferences

he loves to gift you sensory toys he thinks you'd make use of, nearly unable to contain his excitement when he finds one that pertains to your special interests

Ringo learns and navigates your triggers and preferences regarding touch, sound, and environments, ensuring both outings and home settings provide you with a sense of security and comfort

he understands that you may prefer quieter, more intimate settings over crowded or noisy ones, respecting your feelings and planning accordingly

Ringo always makes it known that he respects your autonomy and boundaries

he recognizes when you need space or time alone to recharge, supporting your self-care routines and never taking any offense

he values clear and direct communication within your relationship

over time, Ringo learns to interpret your nonverbal cues and respects your desire for explicit communication, aiming to avoid misunderstandings

he does not, has never, and will never judge you for stimming or performing self-soothing behaviors, instead finding them endearing and cute

despite his fondness for your self-regulating rituals, he never infantilizes you or talks down to you, recognizing (like any rational person with critical thinking skills should) that you are your own grown, unique individual

Ringo will always take time out of his busy days to listen to you infodump and ramble about your latest hyperfixations, asking curious questions and showing genuine interest in everything you share with him

he finds great joy in diving deep into these topics with you, creating a strong connection through mutual passion

Ringo provides consistent and unconditional support, understanding that managing your ADHD and navigating your autism can sometimes be emotionally draining

he listens actively, offers reassurance, and learns how best to comfort you during challenging or overwhelming moments

he recognizes the effort and perseverance it may take for you to navigate daily life and expresses genuine pride in each and every one of your accomplishments

Ringo uses his platform wisely to promote and bolster understanding, supporting organizations and initiatives that foster awareness and acceptance

above all, your relationship is built on love, acceptance, and mutual respect

you celebrate one another's unique traits and way of seeing the world, using these qualities to deepen and strengthen your bond

Ringo envisions a future with you full of love and understanding

the two of you talk freely about your dreams, aspirations, and what you can do to support each other in achieving your goals while embracing your neurodiverse identities

☆☆☆

(IF YOU ARE MUSICALLY INCLINED/INTERESTED)

Ringo watched with intrigue as you entered the bustling studio, your movements quick and purposeful

the way you meticulously arranged your notes and adjusted your headphones caught his attention, a smile forming on his lips

Hey there he greeted warmly, setting down his drumsticks.

What's on your mind today, love?

you looked up, your eyes bright with excitement as you launched into a detailed explanation of a new rhythm you'd been experimenting with

Ringo listened intently, nodding along as you described the intricate patterns and variations

That's brilliant! he exclaimed, his admiration clear

You've got a knack for rhythm that's just extraordinary

you grinned back, feeling a rush of validation

with Ringo, you didn't have to explain or apologize for your intense focus or sudden shifts in topic

he embraced your enthusiasm, encouraging you to explore and create without constraints

as you continued to discuss music and share ideas, Ringo marveled at your unique perspective, finding inspiration in your boundless creativity and passion

☆☆☆

(IF YOU'RE NOT PARTICULARLY MUSICALLY INCLINED/INTERESTED)

Ringo glanced up from his drum kit as you entered the studio, a smile spreading across his face

he noticed the way you moved with a rhythm uniquely your own, your attention shifting from one detail to another with an intensity that fascinated him

Hey there, love Ringo called out, setting his drumsticks aside

How was your morning?

you shuffled closer, your eyes bright with excitement as you shared your latest discovery

Ringo listened intently, captivated by your enthusiasm and the way your words painted vivid pictures in his mind

You always find the coolest things he mused, reaching out to gently squeeze your hand

You make every day an adventure, you know that?

you beamed at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest

your thoughts lingered on how Ringo understood you in a way few others did, cherishing and embracing every aspect of your unique perspective

[system-of-a-feather]

Thoughts on ESDM

So one of the like... three or four main reasons I moved out to Colorado was to learn and try out ESDM - or Early Start Denver Model. For those that don't know, its a relatively new but highly regarded (albeit some traditional ABA fans dislike it apparently, go figure) due to its active incorperation of developmental and attachment based studies + having some of the most robust research

The thing that has me humoring it at all is that they really dont do any discrete trial training (DTT) or any dedicated "work time" and everything is based in pro-stim play therapy

I heard of it first from my time in university cause the university I went to actually had one of the largest labs participating in research for the treatmenr and I heard it actually from one of their autistic researchers which they do actively look to hire on the labs page

I ALSO ran it by a vibe check from what my therapist (autism specialist, hates ABA) to see what hes heard and thought of it and he hasn't had extensive access to it, but all hes heard and seen is positive stuff and had no outstanding concerns

And so as a hardcore traditional ABA hater who would rather die than do traditional ABA again in ANY form under even the "best clinic" - I was genuinely just curious to see what the hype is

I'm honestly a skeptic despite what I've heard, but I'm on day three of training and (honestly have been doing petty tests to see how dedicated they are to supporting neurodiversity by not only NOT masking actively just stating any reserves I have and dissing traditional ABA whenever I get the chance) so far... I hesitantly want to say I think its living up to the hype???

Tomorrow is when we talk about how we handle "challenging behavior" so I'm KIND of waiting for the second shoe to drop cause if it does at any point in training, it would be there.

But genuinely, compared to what I saw in ABA clinics and even the non-ABA special education (for kids with extra support academically, developmentally or emotionally) classrooms, the kids genuinely seem to be having a much better of a time and actually wanting to be here.

It'll probably be a few months of actually working here before I have a firm stancd about what I think about it but I figured Id document some thoughts and observations I had on the treatment as I didn't see much of anyone talking about it in any "hey I actually hate ABA but do acknowledge that some neurodivergent kids need early support that create a high demand for care that is hard to meet with the current structure of mental health care and availibility of therapists and so I would really like to genuinely see something not traumatizing that can help" cause I personally am hesitant to trust "research" on anything based on ABA cause "research" exists for ABA as well

Anyways Ill be making this a thread of journal-ish things.