#that motherfucker finally gets what he deserves

[jacklyn-flynn]

This is the final chapter of this story. I'm sure there will be more with Sparrow and Fenris, but this origin story has been an amazing journey for me. The last chapter (there will be a shorter epilogue) is quite long, but I feel like it's the proper send off. To everyone who has made it this far, thank you for sticking with me. I know the last few chapters have been sporadic but I wanted to do the story justice. I hope that you enjoy it and continue to stick around to read whatever comes next.

Much <3

Jacks

[hxney-lemcn]

Prince and the Frog — Housewardens x gn! reader

summary: you find yourself cursed and you go to your prince to lift it.

tw: none that I can think of.

a/n: I saw something about the princess and the frog and got inspo. This is so fun, goofy, and lovely, I hope y'all enjoy <3

wc: 1.9k (~300 each character)

Master List

You weren’t sure what you’ve done to deserve this, but even you felt it wasn’t enough. I mean a frog? Really? And the cure was a true love's kiss? Seriously? Can it get any more cliche? You might as well search for a princess and turn her into a frog as well and then set off into a journey of personal growth…you suppose a prince will have to do. You went to the first person you thought could help, time to see if they really would still love you if you were a worm, err…frog.

Riddle Rosehearts

Okay, so maybe Riddle wasn’t technically a prince, but a queen is a step above that, no? You were a little scared of his reaction, but you couldn’t stay a frog forever. Not to mention that someone else had cursed you, it’s not like you turned yourself into a frog. So when you managed to find him he freaked out, mouth agape as you explained your situation. Thank the sevens you could still talk. Riddle’s face soured, lips twisted into a scowl. At first you thought he was going to find a way to collar you in your current slippery state, but he ended up ranting about the person who cursed you, asking for any details that you could provide. The thought of kissing you to break the curse hadn’t even crossed his mind, instead skipping straight to punishing the fool who’d curse the Queen’s rose and making them reverse it. It was then that you learned just how quickly Riddle could sniff someone out if he wanted to, because the effects had been reversed by the end of the same day. (If that doesn’t show you how much he loves you then I don’t know what can).

Leona Kingscholar

…are you sure about this? I mean…yeah he’s a prince and all but he might just toss you mistaking you for a random frog who dared to encroach on his space. The type to argue he wouldn’t have to love you if you were a worm cause how ridiculous is that? Well…not so ridiculous now, huh? Thankfully, you had found Ruggie first, explaining your situation and asking for him to bring you to Leona. Not so thankfully, Ruggie found the entire thing hilarious and had to take a moment to calm himself down. He kept snickering to himself the entire way to Leona, making you want to die, or just stay a frog and live a happy life in a nice little pond and start a little froggy family. When Ruggie managed to tell Leona what was going on in between laughter Leona just stared at you like you were the stupidest motherfucker. Hey! It wasn’t like you were asking to be cursed! Has an internal conflict on what to do. On one hand he wants to prove he’s your true love, and kissing you seems to be the quickest way to get this over with…on the other you are a literal frog. Shooing Ruggie away, Leona bemoaningly gave you the quickest peck ever, making a face of disgust as he pulled away. The transformation back took a few seconds, but the look of disgust quickly turned to a smug smirk, feeling proud that you were truly his. 

Azul Ashengrotto

Okay, so again, not an actual prince…but he excelled at potions, so it only made sense…except he’ll probably make you sign your life away. So maybe not a good choice once again. I pray for you because one if not both of the Leech twins are gonna find you first and they’re gonna have a field day. ‘My, you’d look perfect in one of my terrariums’ Jade would note. Floyd would probably accidentally kill you because this entire situation is oh so hilarious and he forgot he’s supposed to be holding you gently. After the two have their fun (Jade plays with you and his terrarium like you're a doll in a dollhouse), they finally bring you to Azul, laughing their asses off in their own ways. Azul stares at you blankly as the two eel brothers leave, trying his hardest to not laugh. His face is red from concealing his humor, looking to the side to collect himself. He’ll offer you the cure, but for a price. Kiss you? He has a reputation to upkeep you know. He can’t be seen kissing frogs, imagine what that’ll do to his image! No, no, just sign the contract, and to sweeten the deal he’ll have the twins deal with the pest who thought it was a good idea to curse his angelfish. If you really persist, he’ll give in eventually. To be fair, he is also curious to see if you're his true love, but on the other hand he’s terrified if you're not. He doesn’t want to lose you. And to both your delight, you transform back after he gives you a small kiss on your little froggy head…he’s also running laps in his mind at how happy he is.

Kalim Al-Asim

He’s a prince and won’t think twice! He loves you truly, so it has to work! Too bad Jamil stumbled upon you first. Adamantly tries to hide you from Kalim and he feels his headache growing ten times worse. Why did you stupidly get yourself cursed? He asks like you did it on purpose. You didn’t know why the guy cursed you either! Jamil keeps you tucked in his hoodie until he can find time to bring you to Professor Crewel. You tried to fight him at first as you’d rather stay a frog than get detention for something you had no control over, but Jamil knew how to keep a tight leash on the unruly…it was his job after all. Unfortunately for him, Kalim walked into the kitchens right as you hopped out of his pocket. At first he was confused, and then even more confused, and then ecstatic. You hopped over to him, asking for him to protect you from Jamil (who was giving you a major side eye). Then you explained your predicament, and Jamil butted in about bringing you to Crewel. Innocently, Kalim offered to kiss you. No need to bother Crewel if the cure was so simple! Jamil couldn’t stop him in time, as Kalim kissed you the second he finished the sentence. Even Jamil couldn’t hide his disgust for a second at the action. Thankfully, Kalim was your true love as you had transformed back, and he hugged you gleefully. Unfortunately for Kalim, you refused any of his kisses until he rinsed his mouth (lmao).

Vil Schoenheit

Another queen. Best person to go to. He can whip up any cure just as fast as he can whip up any potion/poison. Rook, saw the whole encounter with the other student, and brought you to Vil without a second thought. He already knew everything about the idiot who cursed you so no need to stick around. Vil’s gaze turned into a disapproving stare as he looked at you. Even though Rook tried to stick up for you, dramatizing the whole event as stating how brave you were to face such a curse head on, Vil only shook his head. He motioned for Rook to follow him, not wanting to pick you up. He loves you, really he does, he just can’t afford to get his clothes dirty or stained. He picks the ingredients effortlessly, starting to brew the cure without a second thought. Both you and Rook seemed to want to get on his nerves as you both prattle on about true love and how he should kiss you. He didn’t expect you to be a cheesy sap (he’s lying), besides, don’t you know how many curses list true love’s kiss as the cure? The meaning is pointless. Besides, he doesn’t need some curse to prove his love for you, hasn’t he shown you how much you mean to him already? Or was he lacking, because he didn’t think you’d doubt him. Either way, you’re drinking the cure, he couldn’t risk that your slimy frog skin might make him break out. But don’t worry, if you really have room to doubt his love, he’ll make sure you can’t within the week.

Idia Shroud

Hahaha. Again, are you sure? He’s always holed up in his room, the only chance you're brought to him is if Ortho finds you (or vice versa). At first Ortho found you adorable, cooing at you as he floated to Idia’s room. He thought this was the perfect opportunity to show both you and Idia just how much you care for the other. How could either of you doubt the other if it's sealed with a true love's kiss? It was a brilliant opportunity! (Orthos a little too into this). He barely let his brother welcome them in before barging in and shoving a frog (you) into Idia’s face. At first Idia screeched, falling out of his gamer chair and scrambling away from the amphibian. Was Ortho pranking him? That’s totally uncool, he wasn’t some normie. But then Ortho happily blabbed about you and the curse and then it clicked…YOU WERE A FROG? Now he’s rolling on the floor laughing at you. You’d smack him if you WEREN’T A FROG. After he’s done laughing it up, he then freezes. Ortho wants him to kiss you? B-but that's gross! Who knows what diseases he’ll get if he kisses you. k. Wait, don't go to someone else! Fine, he’ll do it, but he won’t like it. Inside, he’s absolutely terrified. His mind is running a mile a minute. He doesn’t think you’ll actually turn back, someone like him doesn’t deserve true love…so imagine the face he makes when you do. Face a bright red, his hair a bright pink. Oh no, he feels faint. Give him a peck on the lips to finish him off.

Malleus Draconia

Uh oh. Queue the thunder and lightning. Whoever cursed you is the stupidest motherfucker. Malleus is the one to stumble upon you this time, to the disdain of his family. Lilia on one hand wanted to laugh about the situation, on the other, he knew he’d have to protect the stupid human from being smite for cursing Malleus’ love. Silver and Sebek are sweating as Malleus holds you gently in his hands. If he thought you were gentle as a human, he’s being ten times more careful with you in your froggy state. On the outside, he’s silent and brooding, on the inside he’s lamenting on finding you an enclosure where you can be happiest. What type of tank, soil, plants, water…someone please tell him this is reversible. Lilia chimes in before the rain outside can get worse, mentioning true love's kiss is able to reverse the effects. Malleus’ green slitted eyes never move from your tiny form, he finds you absolutely breathtaking even as a frog (this man is down so bad), but he’s nothing but relieved when he hears the news. Human lifespans are already small as is, he would’ve been completely gut wrenching if that time was cut even shorter. Another one who doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. This man would love you if you were a worm. He strokes your moist skin gently as he leaves a small kiss to your adorable head. His entire being, soul, mind and body all belong to you, and if that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is. His eyes shine brightly as you transform back, holding you gently as he promises to protect you from any miscreant that dares even look at you wrong…yeah so the guy who cursed you is still fucked and now you have a protective dragon at your heel 24/7.

[omega-e123]

Warning: Suggestive (nsfw)

Based by: “I wanna be your slave” by Måneskin

I love you since this morning, not just for aesthetic. I wanna touch your body, so fucking electric. I know you're scared of me, you say that I'm too eccentric I'm crying all my tears and that's fucking pathetic

Every time you and Shadow get heated up, he backs off. It never gets past a make out session. Once it feels like he’s gone too far, he pulls apart and apologizes. Opting to distract himself from you.

You thought that maybe there was something wrong with you. That’s not right. The theory was easily written off seeing as Shadow has chosen to stay with you all this time. He’s blunt. Most of the time, you don’t need to ask what’s wrong because he’ll straight up tell you. It’s what you love about him. No need to walk on eggshells or play the guessing game.

So why… is it when it comes to this, he’s dodging the situation like he’s in the matrix?

It came up again. You two were on the couch, supposed to be watching a show. One thing led to another and now here you are, straddling his lap. Bare hands graze along your spine. Lips connected in an intimate tango.

He wants to pull you closer. Tighter. Shadow needs to feel more of you. An animalistic growl escapes him. Your touch is a drug he’s horrendously addicted to. You are his lifeline. Separated, he’s nothing. Yet..

Shadows fingers twitch, feeling the need to claw up your back. To mark you so everyone knows you’re his. Fuck, he wants to sink his nails and fangs into you so bad.

Abruptly he stops. Eyes snap open and his hands rest on either of your shoulders, pushing you away. Breathing synchronized, panting, slowing down into a steady rhythm.

Your dumbfounded expression twists into a worried face. It’s your chance to ask what’s wrong. This time you will get an answer. Shadow is not allowed to leave until he spills.

His gaze goes everywhere but you. He can’t bear to look at you. It’s almost as if he’s.. ashamed? No. Under careful observation, the look on his face appears more afraid.

Once confident hands now tremble. Shadow’s head hanging low as his forehead rests on your chest.

Quiet as a mouse, he whispers, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Clarify. Please. Those words sound awful all on their own. There are a million different things that sentence could mean.

'Cause I'm the devil who's searching for redemption. And I'm a lawyer who's searching for redemption. And I'm a killer who's searching for redemption. A motherfucking monster who's searching for redemption

“I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I hurt you. Physically,” Shadow adds, finally making eye contact. A stray tear or two has found its way down his cheek.

“Trust me, I do want you..” Fangs sink into his bottom lip, drawing blood. He sighs, admitting, “I’ve never— done.. with anyone.”

You couldn’t find it in yourself to chuckle. Not when he’s in this state. Cupping his face, you wipe the tears with your thumbs, giving Shadow a reassuring smile. There's no need to rush things. Take it slow, take it easy. You're perfectly content with waiting however long. Silence follows after pecking his forehead.

Chaos, he doesn’t deserve you. Every fiber of his body screams at him, ‘he doesn’t.’ After all he’s done in the past, what he’s been through. Shadow is so lucky to have you. It’s a wonder how you could love a ‘monster’..

That’s not who or what he is. Not to you.

Shadow the hedgehog.

The ultimate life form.

For you he’s… your partner. Your lover.

A friend. A rock.

The one who has been by your side no matter what.

To him, you are a beacon of light. One he should protect. Another reason for him to keep existing. He’d follow you to the ends of the earth.. Like a.. Well a shadow, of course.

I wanna be your sex toy, I wanna be your teacher

I wanna be your slave, I wanna be your master. I wanna make your heartbeat run like rollercoasters

“Teach me,” Shadow speaks up.

Tilting his head, he leans in towards so that it rests on your shoulder, breath hitting your neck. The urge to bite and suck on your neck is overwhelming.

Shadow tentatively licks your throat before placing a kiss.

“Teach me how to make you feel good.”

[ma1dita]

forever falling: luke castellan & his four great loves

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 4.3k

summary: (post-TLT) The one where he falls from grace and still thinks of you. (the four great loves of Luke Castellan’s life and how it will end up killing him) (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: i held myself hostage in my car outside the gym until i got this right this morning — listened to forwards, beckon, rebound by adrienne lenker while writing this, thank you for your patience and happy september!

edited, doing taglist when i get back from the gym lmao

—

Falling to his death is taking a lot longer than Luke Castellan thought it would.

For a man with a multitude of regrets, he finds that he can count his biggest ones off the four bloodied fingers that stain his peripherals with every bump and tumble down the jagged rocks of Mount Tamalpais.

What a waste of a life.

Everything he’s ever tried to accomplish has come to this final, humiliating moment of being at someone else’s mercy. Life is so unfair, he thinks, to give everything for love and have it kick you off the side of a fucking mountain that reeks of eucalyptus and regret. Sure, it was wrong to steal the master bolt, to turn his back on camp, poison Thalia’s tree, have his little sister hold up the sky, try to kill Percy Jackson every so often, and cause all this chaos… (I mean you know how this goes) but the pros outweigh the cons here! Promise.

Luke was so sure that they would all see reason—that he was doing this all out of love, no matter how convoluted and backwards his way is compared to theirs, even if he’d never admit that. Change is supposed to be uncomfortable and war was never meant to be pretty. It wasn’t supposed to end like this, really. The gods weren’t meant to win.

But at the end of it all, love must be his greatest weakness. It has to be.

The Fates should be slicing through the fibers of his lifespan by now, ripping through the embroidered memories in his mind. Nothing of his is his own anymore—not his life, nor his love.

Love, if he’s learned anything in the two wretched decades that Hermes himself has cursed his existence with— hurts like a motherfucker. That, or Thalia was definitely wearing steel-toed boots when she kicked his ass off the cliff. He’s given his life for love, dedicating himself to the greater good of protecting his loved ones, and no one, not even the gods could stand in the way of that. A method to his madness or his undeniable naivety, he still can’t tell, but it's gotten him falling deep into an abyss at the hands of a bunch of kids who continually undo his plans to change the world.

Maybe love is little deaths then, and maybe Luke Castellan loves too hard.

There has never been a single moment in his life where he hasn’t gone down fighting—he never lets anything go, holding what’s important to him so close to his chest that it suffocates. Luke believes that after everything he’s been through, he was never meant for mediocrity—not even when it comes to love. Maybe his death would mean something then— maybe that is his glory. To love someone to death, even if it was wrong— if this is his end, maybe his death will bring peace he knows his love never could.

Four names run through his mind like most things do, intense and fleeting. His final thoughts as he plunges toward the earth are his last act of prayer. If the gods have never listened before, well, these thoughts are all he has to comfort him; they feel heavy behind his lips the further he falls.

Could the Fates be wrong?

His fatal flaw manifests itself into the names of four women he knows he could never deserve in this lifetime, but he’d die trying. He is, dying. This fall from grace is proof enough that he was never meant to be a hero. Excessive wrath bleeds from his being until all that’s left is love, and he’s ashamed of it.

Gods, he’s such a fucking loser.

Luke’s neck cracks against stone at the bottom of the cliff, white hot pain crawling up his spine with only one remaining thought clanging around in his brain—he should’ve never fucking come back to San Francisco.

And while we’re talking about regrets—Luke recognizes that the one thing he’s never had control of is love.

So he lets go, feeling the weight of his body crumple against the downhill slope of Mount Tamalpais like a puppet cut from its strings without a single cry of pain because Luke Castellan finally comes to accept the loves and losses of his life. His landing feels softer now, rolling to a stop like the waves on Westport Beach. Then he sinks into the earth with a bated sigh and it feels like gentle hands of loves that once believed in him.

Luke closes his eyes before his world spirals into black—because if these few moments are all he has left, he’d like to take this time to remember them.

MAY CASTELLAN [storgē - στοργή]

Luke Castellan was born into this world half-mortal, half-god, but 100% May Castellan’s son. From the moment he came into this world, he was fully her own. Hermes was a factor, yes—but the manifestation of a demigod is wholly that of the mortal parent in every aspect visible to the naked eye. Blood runs alongside ichor in his veins, but Luke is all hers in every way that matters—from the slope of his nose, his dark velvet curls, and the honey-molten warmth of his eyes. And they were happy together, once upon a time, even if it was mostly just the two of them.

The gods make their half-mortal children in the likeness and image of their human love since their own forms are ever changing. There is nothing permanent about being immortal—leaving their partners with babies that look like them but are vulnerable to the Mist. And when you love a god, the only tangible reminder left behind is one that goes where you cannot follow. Things most can’t understand— speedy baby steps padding down the hall, tiny hands unlocking the pantry door, and a motor mouth able to transmit meaning through toddler gibberish.

But before Luke even knew what love was, his mother made sure he knew hers was stuck to his being—like peanut butter and jelly on the roof of his mouth from all the sandwiches she made. His clothes used to smell like chamomile from her morning brew and his fingers were often stained blue from Kool-Aid powder. May would always let him mix, even if she had to pretend to not see him sipping from the big spoon in the pitcher. Loving a trickster meant she knew how to raise one.

His mother’s love was sugar sweet. It was in the cookies she baked, the kisses she’d press against his broken skin, and in the confectionery words she’d whisper to him before bedtime. As the years passed by, May would end up repeating herself and the ‘i love yous’ were more for her instead of him—like a mantra she needed to remind herself of who she was. But Luke always understood. When her voice would fail and tears would replace it, Luke learned to wipe away what his father left behind for him to take care of.

His identical chocolate irises watched hers turn to emerald, and it was then he knew that too much sugar could make everything rot.

THALIA GRACE [eros-ἔρως]

There was always this intensity whenever he was with Thalia Grace, the daughter of Zeus. And she made sure he always knew it—a static spark igniting between the two of them as soon as their eyes met in the streets of Charleston. Like him, Thalia always made sure to get what she wanted, two north poles of a magnet bullheading through life to get what they’re owed. By that same evening, they were elbow-deep in the golden dust of a dragon that had come home to find two bushy-browed little freaks with arrogance quadruple their size.

Luke and Thalia were a match made in hell—one always trying to outdo the other to get the upper hand when it comes to control. And at 12 years old, it was the first time Luke had ever had anyone fight by his side. But they were both short fuses and she always set him alight—a glint of her father rushing through her glare so hot that it burned blue. He would do anything to keep her attention on him since grabbing devotion by force is all he’s ever known. Moving quickly and being in her face was the only way to remind his mother of her affection so he assumed the same would go with her. That, and he couldn’t help being extra fidgety— being a son of Hermes meant he couldn’t sit still for long.

Though with Thalia’s growing annoyance of Luke, it was established that their dependence on each other was one of necessity to survive the odds stacked against them. She was repelled by what made them so similar, hubris that blinded them from wanting to figure out the difference between surviving and living. There was a poison of hate in their love for one another. A shame in wanting a love that understood the attraction that linked them so early on in life, however innocent.

Both were too alike and were burned the same.

They burned each other. A type of selflessness and selfishness that battled each other for balance, so close but so far away.

There was always something about Thalia that blistered at his confidence. A forbidden part of her he couldn’t bear. It’s why he spit words of acid instead of encouragement once he realized the Furies wanted her the most when they were running for their lives, Luke was always the fastest runner anyway—dragging little Annabeth up Half-Blood Hill and by the time he realized he’d left her for dead she became a hero (he admits now that he could’ve run circles and saved her too; he just didn’t want to).

Thalia Grace gave everything for this love. But she sure as hell never trusted him to do the same for her.

The spark they shared was snuffed out that day. And Luke continued to burn without her.

ANNABETH CHASE [philia- ϕιλία]

Luke Castellan had never been chosen for anything before. Growing up in the mortal world, he was used to watching families eat together through restaurant windows and children playing in parks that he would pass by, taking slower turns around the block so he could imagine what it felt like to be wanted. Luke was never once beckoned to take part, but he accepted long ago that he didn’t really belong anywhere.

It was nice to think about though.

The daughter of Athena doesn’t remember it anymore, something so trivial in that big brain of much more important thoughts—but when she reached her hand out to him instead of Thalia (after almost breaking his skull in with a rusty hammer), it meant everything to him. The kid thought he was a monster at first sight, and she still chose him after everything.

Annabeth Chase grew up idolizing him and he thrived because of it.

Like ambrosia, Luke was strengthened by her faith and it made him feel powerful. Having the daughter of Athena in his life was like being awarded a gold medal. He loved Annabeth like she was his biggest prize, gleaming on a shelf for him to admire when he was feeling down about himself. Both him and Thalia raised her with pride; with little to no material possessions, they learned to make something out of nothing—and they made it golden. He chased that feeling and it made him greedy for her affection—she announced his place in this world of cruelty. The harsh hands of fate were gilded by Midas himself as long as he had Annabeth. And she put him on a pedestal too—an unattainable goal in her mind that the highest form of glory was to be like her older brother and best friend.

Luke Castellan was finally good at something, and he had the proof to show for it in the shape of a small girl with inquisitive eyes. With her, all of his answers were right. To choose each other and be reciprocated with equal fervor helped him idealize what it felt like to win in life.

However Annabeth was not just his best student, but a prodigy that learned to outplay the trickster. An intellect like hers was never meant to corrode in a dusty, dark corner.

YOU [agape- ἀγάπη]

Plato wrote that humans were once created whole— with four arms, four legs, and two faces fused back-to-back for the entirety of their mortal existence. They were at peace, and how could you not be?

With your soulmate at your side, you could face anything, even the gods. And eventually Zeus felt threatened by their power, in knowing that humans could be invincible against any pain, suffering, and doubt as long as their soul was physically and intimately tied with their other half. So he separated humans from their soulmates in a snap of a finger. It was just another thing that jealousy would take away from humankind by immortal beings that would never understand what it means to live with an ending.

There’s a misconception that love is being together in our original state until the gods took it away. But in fact, it was written to be that love is the desire to become whole with someone else, in addition to yourself. Love is the choice to spend your life trying to find your other half—as we are destined to roam until we have someone to share the rest of our time. Humans have long accepted that we don’t know when the end will come—but the act of searching for our person to share it with, that is love.

Love is the ultimate sacrifice to meet your partner wherever they’re at, to make a home out of the rubble of your past and still choose it anyway knowing that the both of you will go hand in hand into the future. It isn’t glory like he’d convinced himself in the past; it’s not accomplishing some heroic feat worth the recognition of the gods—he knows by now that he couldn’t give a single shit about them. The answer had always been right in front of him, unwavering against the test of time with fluttering amethyst eyes and laughter that renders him senseless.

Why go through all that trouble? one might ask. But that is also his answer.

Fate had never cut him loose— tumbling down Mount Tamalpais was one of the many proofs of that, and with nothing else to do, Luke comes to the conclusion that loving you is a lifelong commitment he made to make more time with you.

Shitty deal, he thinks, trying to beat Kronos at his own domain without anyone’s help must have been a waste for it all to end so pathetically.

But loving you was a choice he made every day, even in your absence. It’s his reminder and solemn vow that loving you could never be a waste. Luke laments not being able to take you to meet his mother, or giving you the white house with the big bay windows, but by giving up his life, honor, and whatever glory is still attached to the name Luke Castellan— it must be worth it as long as you’re living the life you deserve.

Even if it means he’s not part of it, he hopes you’re still searching for him too.

—

In the end, even as he falls to his death, he finds himself calling out to his father for the last time. His plea reaches deaf ears of course—but he isn’t begging anymore. Luke Castellan thanks his father for the first and last time in his life and embraces his losses if it meant that he mattered. If not to the gods, then to his mother. To Annabeth. Thalia, even for a short moment, and you.

Especially to you.

Unwavering and without question, to live to the fullest is to have been by your side walking through the woods of Camp Half-Blood and hearing the sound of your cackles through the air, sending animals scattering from something he said.

Because to be loved despite everything he has done, everything he will do— Luke thinks he must be the luckiest man to have ever lived.

Death blankets the weary traveler, and time is an unflinching hand pulling him through a rip in reality. He’s gone in the blink of an eye, falling in reverse to where he needs to be next.

Somewhere, Atropos raises her scissors away from the indelible strand of his life force as she takes a breath and sits back, her sisters unable to do anything else but watch. This boy was becoming more trouble than what even the gods knew he was worth.

Luke Castellan must be lucky, indeed.

—-

Ding.

450, 451, 452, 453…

A wet cough from a satyr next to you disrupts the silence in the elevator up to Olympus; you give him a sideways glance that makes him shift closer to the door with what you hope is a blush and not a fever. It’s warm and stuffy in this 3x4 crystalline box that shoots towards the heavens, and a bit crowded for a weeknight—though you suppose it is the Winter Solstice.

You haven’t been back here since your ex-boyfriend stole the master bolt.

There’s a moment where you wonder if the Fates have ever found your predicament funny, but then the satyr sneezes with a boom.

537, 538, 539, 540…

It’s almost dusk now as clouds roll through the night sky and into the distance. Frost lines the metal frame of the elevator shaft and if you’re flying at the speed of light, it doesn’t seem to be a problem. But this trip is taking much longer than you thought it would for a decision you made on a whim.

You still have a final to take in the morning, and Annabeth wasn’t answering your calls—then her location on Find My iPhone sprung from San Francisco to the middle of Manhattan from the span of your trip on the Long Island Railroad.

Something was up. The sense of something important trickled down your spine like second nature. Can’t this thing go any faster?

It was second nature for you by now to know when something was up, especially with the trio. You’d always make the time for them. Besides, your life has been a little too quiet lately. Being an adult demigod does that; there’s no monsters that bump in the night anymore, just the ones in your head and the ones that make you take finals three days before Christmas.

…600.

Ding.

Weaving through what seems to be a celebration fit for the gods, your glove-clad hands push through the sea of minor godlings, heroes, and Olympians. Aphrodite sends you a wink that makes you feel hot to the touch before you realize Hestia’s eyes are also on you, the both of them clearly whispering about your treacherous love life. You shove your gloves and scarf into your jacket pocket. Bowing your head lightly in greeting, you keep walking further into the grand hall.

It seemed you were always a hot topic up here on Olympus. Great.

The music is so loud you can feel it in your chest, thumping away to the accelerated beat of your heart and by the time you grab a glass of ambrosia-spiked champagne to help with the lump in your throat, you hear the sound of your name in the midst of all the chaos.

A gentle hand grasps your shoulder then, and it’s Percy Jackson adorning a cup of punch and brand new wispy white tendrils that hang across his face. There’s a story that should follow, but he gapes at you like a fish out of water. Looking up at him (this boy grows like a weed!), both of your confused faces mirror each other as you sidle out words he’s still able to hear over the music, “What’s the celebration for? And why have none of you been answering my calls?”

The son of Poseidon swallows hard, until the smell of salt and sea foam surrounds you and you find yourself staring at the god of the sea himself, standing alongside him. With a smile soft like rippling water, he gently says, “I’ll leave you two to it. And I’ll call your father and stepmother over. Good to see you,” Poseidon says your name as he takes his exit. You hoped it was a good thing then, that he knew you.

Percy wondered why he was always left to make the difficult decisions.

He almost sounds like his father when he speaks, calling for your attention again as he clears his throat.

“Listen, I need to tell you something, and I think we should…”

Shaking your head, your eyes are scanning across the room, meeting Annabeth’s as she drops the hand of the minor god she’s dancing with and makes her way over to you. From the other side of the room, Poseidon pushes your father in your direction as he juggles two golden goblets in each hand, led by his wife as they almost float towards you.

“Whatever it is, spit it out Perce. Your audience is growing by the minute.”

“Hey princess, whatcha doing here? Don’t you have a test tomorrow?” You dad grins, nudging your shoulder and handing you one of the goblets. Ariadne presses a kiss against your temple and you smile, taking a sip before hearing Annabeth’s converse squeak to a stop next to you.

“Someone better tell me what’s going on right now,” your eye twitches and then you see Annabeth’s new strands of silver that frame her face as she grabs your arm and nestles against it.

“I…um…” the sandy-haired boy begins, and then your dad groans and you elbow him hard, wine spilling from his lips as his wife giggles like the sound of tinkling bells and you’re about to strangle the teenager on the marble tile he’s planted on.

“Luke’s…”

“Dead.”

Percy’s worried voice intermingles with a new one you haven’t heard before, like a crackling sound that leaves a metallic taste in your mouth, and then a girl shows her face—black eyeliner and silver jewelry clinking against each other as she looks into your eyes and blue meets purple.

So you start laughing. Cackling even, as your head nods slightly, and after they’ve given you a moment to compose yourself you take a big gulp of the drink in your right hand to then chase it with the one on your left.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. He’s not dead,” you insist, and everyone looks at you like you’re insane, even your father, the god of insanity himself. Ariadne’s hand caresses the nape of your neck as she whispers, “Maybe we should take a seat outside, darling…”

“No…No! I mean it,” you say almost incredulously, a hiccup slipping past your lips when you take in too much air. “That motherfucker doesn’t have the audacity to die and if he did, I would know.”

“This is how we’re letting you know,” Annie murmurs, before Percy sighs and his shoulders fall heavy with what seems to be the weight of the world, “She’s right. He’s not dead.”

A myriad of responses blur in the space around you, all going hazy as you blink and stay focused on Percy.

“It’d be too easy…” you murmur, nodding again like you’re convincing yourself of the fact. Annabeth rubs circles into your forearm and you realize you haven’t breathed since the daughter of Zeus made her entrance, “I’d know if he was dead.”

Thalia Grace looks you up and down thoughtfully, “So you’re the collateral damage.”

“Thalia!”

Annabeth exclaims, her hand tightening around yours and you know deep down she’s rejoicing at the news of Luke’s survival. But for yourself, you were unsure if you felt the same, almost chuckling at the irony of almost all of Luke’s favorite people in the same room as the gods he swore to overthrow, “That’s me. You were a tree the last time I saw you.”

“That’s me. I kicked him off a cliff, thought it would’ve done the job, but he’s always been too stubborn.”

A smile spreads across both your faces. You think about Luke interrupting your date last month by barging into your apartment and how that was tough enough to explain to your roommate, much less if you tried to tell your parents and best friends in the middle of a Christmas party.

You make the choice to keep Luke’s visits a secret. It doesn’t come as difficult as you thought it would.

Hermes bumps into your little group, eyes focused on his caduceus as it pings with different messages. The rest of you go quiet, mirth dimming despite the smile on the messenger god’s face and the kids take that as their cue to exit.

“What’s happening? A group like this, and with you making an appearance,” he nods in your direction, “Must be something special.” He nudges your dad, and you’ve forgotten that they’ve been best friends for millenia.

“Your kid’s not dead. You’d know that if you were nosy in the right places,” Dionysus says through a gulp of wine, turning and walking away nonchalantly, making you smile. Hermes looks at you with his face a mix of shock and appreciation, though you’ve done nothing to earn it. He follows your father with a gust of wind billowing behind his traveling feet.

Those two are more trouble than you and Luke were.

Biting your cheek, you turn to Ariadne and scoff, “So…. Do you think I should tell my dad that the other campers snuck into the party half an hour ago?”

Your stepmother laughs, her eyes following her love across the ballroom, choosing to let everyone enjoy the Winter Solstice for once.

—

“When does a war end? When can I say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?” - Ocean Vuong

[nvmadic]

best friends!ted and schlatt are the first people you go to after your boyfriend has the nerve to call you a slut and other mean because of a dress you wore to a night clubbing with him but then ALSO having the nerve to send pictures of him with other girls all over him as 'revenge'

so when you stop answering your phone, he's trying to call you over and over again, but finally, one of his calls gets answered but it's not by you: it's ted.

"yesssss?" he answers with the smuggest, sing-song voice, clearly amused at the audacity of your boyfriend calling you after that stunt.

"dude, where's my girl at?"

"your girl," ted laughs. "you're not that smart. you don't realize you just lost any right to call her that after today."

"what? dude, give my girlfriend the phone!"

"mm, okay, i'll put it on speaker for you," ted hums, pressing the button. instantly, the sound of you whimpering and mewling schlatt's name hits your boyfriend's ears. "that's it, such a good girl, my pretty girl," schlatt praises, a little lovesick smile on his face as he thumbs your clit.

"sorry she's not responding. she's busy gettin' some well-deserved comfort right now," ted says, eyes lidded as he watches the way schlatt's fingers worked at you. his mouth is pressing kisses all over your neck as you sit in his lap, your legs over his thighs.

"who's a good girl? say it, say you're our good girl, say you're our pretty baby," schlatt coos into your ear, wanting you to respond. he knows you were hurt by the names and things your now ex said, so he wanted that motherfucker to hear how pretty you sound when getting praised like you deserved.

"'s me, 's me, jay, i'm your good girl," you manage between moans, grinding against his hand. "please, please lemme cum, please?"

"ohh, when you sound so good like that, I'll do anything you fucking ask for, princess," schlatt groans before picking up his pace, the room filling with the wet noises coming from between your legs.

as your moans got louder, ted just chuckles into the phone. "mm, you don't need to hear any more of that. thanks for fuckin' up, though, pal! we finally upgraded from best friends with our pretty girl. and don't worry, we'll be better boyfriends than you ever fucking could be. bye-bye!"

yeah...i like them a lot 🖤

i am gobsmacked… going to go and touch grass.

[cryptidnamedhabit]

So since im kinda autistic about the new wolverine and deadpool movie im just gonna post some poolverine/deadclaws headcanons to help keep myself sane :]

Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers under the cut

Also Logan is autistic because I said so

Wade will drink whatever in his coffee in the morning, he doesn't care, meanwhile logan needs a ridiculous amount of things in his morning coffee for it to be drinkable to him

Logan is too much of a wuss puss to admit it though and just didn't drink coffee for a long time

Then, one day, out of the blue, Wade came home with two coffees, one for himself and one for logan (and a puppicino for mary puppins ofc)

Logan refused at first and only agreed to try it to get Wade to stop whining

Needless to say, he was genuinely surprised (and ever-so-slightly creeped out) that Wade knew what he liked in his coffee without telling him

"Apparently, oldie wolvie liked his coffee like that." Wade told him

Wade might've fallen first, but logan fell harder

He was HARD on the denial train

At first he didn't know why or what he was feeling whenever he was around Wade

Feeling jealous whenever Wade gives his attention to someone else? Just annoyed that the other person doesn't express the same "disgust" he has for Wade

Feeling mad when someone finally expresses their "disgust" towards deadpool? That's just because he wasn't that annoying that day and didn't deserve mean (but true) things said about him

Just woke up screaming from a nightmare and needs to hug Wade to feel grounded again because the time ripper killed him in his dreams? He just allows it because mary puppins wasn't quick enough to do it

The feeling of butterflies in his stomach whenever Wade looks at him with nothing but adoration and love in his eyes? Probably just something off in the food he ate earlier that day

Feeling the urge to grab Wade by his face and kiss him while whispering sweet nothings until the universe explodes? Just an intrusive thought or two

It isn't until he's on some random walk with mary puppins that he finally realizes that he just might have a crush on deadpool

He pretty much goes through the seven stages of grief once he realizes

It became more difficult to shove his feelings down his throat whenever he was around Wade after that

It wasn't until another one of their "family game nights" that Negasonic pulled Logan aside to talk to him

"When will you two just make it official already?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "About you and Wade, that's what. You don't seriously think that nobody in this building can see you two clearly have a thing for each other, right?" "Still don't know what you're talking about" "What are you on right now?" "The autism spectrum."

Negasonic gave up trying to talk to Logan about Wade after that

After all of that was said and done, it wouldn’t be until one of Wade's random teasings that finally made Logan snap

"God peanut, you wanna kiss me sooo bad it makes you look stupid~"

That was it.

Logan closed the distance between himself and Wade, grabbed his face, and kissed him passionately before he pulled away

"Hhholy fucking hell peanut, how long were you saving that for?" "You've got no idea bub"

"Does this mean I can finally use the blowjob handles on your mask?"

Meanwhile Althea shouts "I CAN HEAR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS CLEAR AS DAY!"

Anyway, I think I might make a part 2 to this post, but idk

[steddie-island]

Heartache to heartache

Second prompt fill for week 1 of @steddiesmuttyseptember - Makeup sex WC: 1,771 | Rating: E | Tags: Makeup sex, financial insecurity anxiety AO3 Divider credit

It was Eddie's fault that he was laying in bed alone, and he was kicking himself for it.

Mostly his fault. Maybe.

He'd overreacted. Maybe.

Fuck. Steve still didn't realize Eddie didn't just have money to throw around. He'd scrimped and saved (and on a couple of occassions stole) for the things he had. The Munsons didn't just get shit handed to them unless it was bad. Sometimes they'd done shit to deserve it, sure, but sometimes they were just in the wrong goddamn place at the wrong goddamn time and life decided to make them pay.

Eddie had been ready to pay this time. It'd taken him months to save up the money to fix his van. Months of borrowing Wayne's truck, hitching rides from the band, from Steve when he was available. Months of cutting corners, buying the cheaper deodorant (his shampoo and conditioner couldn't really get any cheaper) and forgoing snacks he wanted, choosing instead to shove the pennies and the small bills into the coffee container hidden in the back of his underwear drawer.

When the day came for him to finally pay, when he could get his van (and his independence) back, he pulled up only to be told it'd been taken care of.

Just like that.

Eddie could've credited it to the government, to Hopper, to the generosity of the guys who ran the garage. One look at Steve and he had his answer.

"I wanted to surprise you," Steve said. His face had flushed, he'd run a hand nervously over the back of his neck, had turned on that goddamn smile that he knew melted Eddie's heart.

Not this time.

Eddie had been furious. Beyond, even.

He'd yanked the keys out of the mechanic's hand and stormed to his van, letting his quiet fury engulf him. How dare Steve take this away from him. How dare Steve make his months of scrimping be for nothing. How dare he throw that Harrington money around to try to solve Eddie's problems.

Eddie didn't explode until they were in the trailer together.

"Hey—"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Eddie had asked. His hands shook with his anger, his frustration, with the desire to grab this stupid beautiful boy by the shoulders. "What the fuck, Steve?"

"I was helping," Steve said, clearly confused. "I just wanted to help—"

"No, you were just using Daddy's money to make problems go away again."

Steve had winced at that, but then he'd straightened his spine. "Yeah, I used my dad's money. So what? Why does it matter how it got paid for?"

Eddie had tipped his head back, laughed without any humor in his voice. "Right, what does it matter when pretty rich boys can just wave their fucking magic wand and throw their name around and make everyone do whatever the fuck they want."

"Last I checked I didn't have to do that with you. You just do it." Steve's eyes were steely, his jaw set.

"Fuck you, Harrington."

In his bedroom Eddie winced as the rest of the argument played out in his mind. He'd been fucking stupid and now he was sulking.

And Steve wasn't around for him to try to fix things.

"Motherfucker." The heels of his hands pressed into his eyes firmly, as if that would turn off the replying looping again and again. Every cruel thing he'd said that had brought the bitchiness out in Steve, too.

Eddie loved that bitchiness when it wasn't aimed at him. Hell, he'd liked the bitchiness even when Steve had been King Steve, when he was turning it on Tommy or Carol or Billy.

But now he couldn't even watch from the sidelines. He'd fucked it all up, had overreacted, and Steve was gone.

"Fuck this."

Eddie sat up and stuffed both feet into his combat boots. He had his jacket half on and a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth when he opened the front door—

"Oh—"

Steve stood there on the front porch, hand raised like he was poised to knock. His hair was a mess, the collar of his polo was wrinkled. It wouldn't mean much to anyone else but Eddie knew better.

"Steve." Eddie nearly dropped his cigarette. He grabbed it between his fingers and stubbed it out in the ashtray by the door. "Uh— hey."

"Can I come in?" Steve asked.

Fuck. How long since he'd had to ask to come in? How long since he'd had to knock, and not just use the key Eddie had given him when they'd been together three months?

Eddie stepped back, opening the door wider so Steve could slip by him.

"Sorry if this is a bad time. I can come back—"

"I was coming to see you—"

They stopped at the same time. Eddie cleared his throat, pushed a hand through his frizzy curls.

"I'm sorry." Steve wasn't looking at him, was looking at a spot over Eddie's shoulder instead. "That's all I wanted to say. I should've checked with you and I didn't."

Eddie shook his head, and then he was pulling Steve into his arms. "Hey— I'm sorry. You were helping me out, and I just fucking lost it. I'm sorry, Steve."

"No, it's my fault—"

"It's my fault," Eddie said. "Fuck, you were doing something nice and I threw it back in your face."

"I was just thinking you already had to replace so much, I could do that for you," Steve continued. "It wasn't fucking fair, none of what happened was your fault. You didn't deserve any of that shit—"

"Stevie." Eddie caught Steve's face in his hands. "Baby, it wasn't your fault, either. It wasn't your problem to solve—"

"I know!" Steve shook his head. "I know. I'm sorry, I overstepped and I fucked up so bad, you have every right to be upset."

"Not the way I was." Eddie tipped Steve's face up towards him. "I had no right to yell at you the way I did."

"You did—"

"No. I didn't." Eddie rested his hands on either side of Steve's neck and rested their foreheads together. "I'm sorry."

The tension leeched out of Steve's body, and he practically swayed towards Eddie. Eddie was happy to catch him, to help hold him up. Was happy to return the kiss Steve was pressing against his lips.

"I'm sorry," Steve breathed. Eddie just shook his head, went in for another kiss. His hands dropped from Steve's neck to trail down his body, to his thighs.

Physical therapy had at least given him this. Eddie lifted Steve into his arms and started for his bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind him, dropped Steve carefully to the bed before kneeling between his thighs.

Steve's eyes were dark and heavy. He tugged his own shirt off then sat up to help with Eddie's shirt, too.

"Fuck…" Eddie tangled a hand into Steve's hair as the other man nipped and bit carefully at his stomach. "Fucking love you."

Steve let out a soft sound, and then Eddie was on him, over him. There were more whispered apologies that were cut off as teeth dug into the skin of a throat, as hands pushed desperately at fabric until they were naked from the waist down, too.

Eddie had lost count of how many times they'd done this, but each time felt like the first. Steve always opened up so beautifully for him. Every moan and whine, the way those big hands gripped at Eddie's shoulders, then his hair when that was all he could reach because Eddie was using his tongue, too.

"Fuck, please—"

Eddie loved the way Steve begged, loved the way he arched towards the touches and used a heel to guide Eddie just where he wanted him.

When Eddie was sure he was open enough he moved over Steve again. "I love you," he whispered.

Steve's response was a moan, to dig his hands into Eddie's back as he was filled. "Eddie, fuck—"

Normally Eddie would make a joke, but it didn't feel like the moment to do that. Instead he threaded a hand with Steve's and brought it up over their heads before he started moving harder. Not fast, but hard, deep, in a rhythm that made Steve's body clench around him and brought out more of those beautiful sounds.

Eddie wanted to commit those sounds to memory. He wanted to record them for the nights they had to be apart, so he could play them on a loop and try to pretend Steve was right there with him.

"More," Steve urged. His voice was breathy, had the edge that Eddie had learned to know meant he was close.

"Love you," Eddie repeated. He drove home again and again. Steve's nails caught against his ass in encouragement. "Mine— mine—"

"Yours, Eddie, fuck don't stop—" Steve met each of Eddie's movements with desperate little rolls of his hips.

When he came it was with a cry, with those strong legs around Eddie's hips, holding him in place and keeping him inside. Eddie followed right after him, spilling deep into the clutch of Steve's body.

Eddie kissed at Steve's jaw as the sweat cooled on their skin. He still had their hands threaded together, was still buried in Steve's body— still had Steve's legs around him, locking him there for the time being.

"I'm sorry," Eddie said again.

"I love you." Steve kissed his hair, then his forehead. "I was afraid I messed up too bad, that I'd lost you for real."

"Never." Eddie kissed Steve's chest. "You'll never lose me, sunshine. No matter what happens."

There was a soft hitch in Steve's breathing. "That's not how it usually works for me."

"Maybe not. But it's how it works for us." Eddie rose up to kiss Steve. There was no heat behind it this time. He poured all of his love and affection and as much reassurance as he could into it, until he could feel Steve practically shaking with it.

"That okay?" Eddie murmured.

Steve sniffed softly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm more than okay with that."

Eddie hid his face in Steve's neck again and breathed in the scent of salt and cologne. They would have to talk about it more later, talk about boundaries and the way to try to prevent something else like this happening. But for now Eddie was happy to just hold and be held by Steve. "Good. 'Cause I wasn't really asking."

"Guess I deserve that," Steve joked. His fingers came up to stroke through Eddie's hair gently.

Eddie found that he couldn't agree more.

[jakesgalxy]

THAT'S HER - a nrk smau 💌

"HYUNG THAT'S HER"

" who???" "THAT PRETTY ENGENE!!"

"WAIT THAT'S HER ?????"

PAIRING : idol!niki x idol!fem reader

SYNOPSIS : Nishimura riki aka niki, the maknae of the popular group enhypen never had a girlfriend but 4 months ago during his concert in america he saw the prettiest fan he had ever laid his eyes on. Yeah surely all engenes were pretty but this girl definetly caught his attention and safe to say after four months she is the only thing on his mind. What happens when he sees her again but now she's an kpop idol and what happens when they both get paired to mentor as judges in a dance survival show?

FEATURING : Enhypen , newjeans, yujin from le sserafim and more idols

GENRE : Crack, fluff, angst, bickering , broken humour

WARNINGS : Jake's age is slightly changed, suggestive jokes, kys jokes, cursing, let me know if there are more !!!

AERA'S NOTE : Hi everyone this is aera !! This is my first smau so please be kind as am just beginning. This is pure fiction totally made on my own, it has nothing to do with the idols in real life. I take pictures from pinterest <3.Feel free to correct me when you feel like as english is not my native language <3 I try my best to live upto your expections but if I can't am really sorry about that. Hope you enjoy 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹

TAGLIST :- @naijmi @eupherbia @kgneptun @kittyeij @imyourjoy0 @mrowwww @im-yn-suckers @ibsysbsfsunsbs @lillians-world-is-f1 @sunshinessky @hoondiors @babyy-bambii @nikipedia07

MASTERLIST

TEASER

PROFILE ONE - THE HOMOSEXUAL SUPPORTING CAST

PROFILE TWO THE IT GROUP

CHAPTER ONE Who let her out.

CHATER TWO We are changing the leader❤️

CHAPTER THREE Sleep with one eye open | part 2

CHAPTER FOUR She has a point tho

CHAPTER FIVE That's what I thought.

CHAPTER SIX ITS NOT A CRUSH

CHAPTER SEVEN My boy is winning at life

CHAPTER EIGHT Your mom deserves better

CHAPTER NINE That actually went well ?

CHAPTER TEN WHY TF AM I TRENDING ON TWITTER AGAIN

CHAPTER ELEVEN Let me pick u up.

CHAPTER TWELVE Lets pretend you're right

CHAPTER THIRTEEN I hope you embarrass yourself infront of him

CHAPTER FOURTEEN We are so goofy hehehe 😦

CHAPTER FIFTEEN AUSSIE HANGOUT PT 1 | PT 2

CHAPTER SIXTEEN Day 2 at the survival show

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN I did it.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Great then

CHAPTER NINETEEN welcome jake

CHAPTER TWENTY fake date

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE that motherfucker

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO We lost her to a man 😔

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Depressed but well dressed 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Trust me

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE #CHANGE THE CEO

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX WAR IS OVER

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN My girl 🫶🏻

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT FUCKING FINALLY

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE Open your door

CHAPTER THIRTY The end <3

Completed

© jakesgalxy

[foone]

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina

Pan basipila: the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport.

We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories...

Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had.

The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help"

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing.

But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

(it takes a while to properly explain the insult. Crogathi (especially drones) don't really have mothers or sexual reproduction, so they don't really get why that would be an insult. It's finally translated as something like "bud-biter")

and it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

the funniest possible future: humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them

"humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

you want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead.

you don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD.

It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan.

They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity.

not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

the rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies. the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

the obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

this often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

the intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories

they seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

(From a twitter thread on October 1st, 2022)

[starsainzjr]

Around the World in 80 Days

Pairing: Max Verstappen x flight attendant!reader Faceclaim: None

✷✷✷✷✷

yourusername New York City

Liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, lilymhe and 68,836 others

yourusername Start spreadin' the news 🗽

View all 7,495 comments

lilymhe I miss you 😭

yourusername I am quite literally getting on a flight to come back as we speak alex_albon Yn help she's pouting I'm not equipped to handle it yourusername Right just let me tell the pilot to hurry up

maxverstappen1 Have a safe flight, liefje 😘

yourusername Ik hou van je, schat 🥰

danielricciardo How much longer until I get you on one of my flights 😒

yourusername You'd have to pass up Max's jet for that

maximillionverstars They are so cute it causes me physical pain

rb19sdownforce Sleeping on the highway tonight 🫶

verstrapping33 The way that she gets to fly around the world for a living AND date Max Verstappen... she won

maxverstappen1 Bahrain

Liked by yourusername, redbullracing, danielricciardo and 339,548 others

maxverstappen1 Lovely way to start the season! @/redbullracing let's go for 4!

View all 8,465 comments

yourusername Next time I won't be 30,000 feet in the air

maxverstappen1 Love you, liefje 😘 Come back to me safe yourusername I always will, schat 🥰

danielricciardo Still trying to recover from the heart attack on lap 43

maxverstappen1 😬

redbullracing Run it back, champ!

yourusername Give me more warning for the party this time

maximillionverstars The way he always tells her to be safe 😭

verstrapping33 Willing to sell my should to get what they have

yourusername Melbourne, Australia

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, lilymhe and 64,278 others

yourusername That layover was well timed

View all 5,106 comments

maxverstappen1 Biggest fan back in the garage! I love you, liefje 😘

yourusername You put on a show! I love you more, schat 🥰

redbullracing First Couple is back in the paddock!

danielricciardo YN COME DO A SHOEY WITH ME

yourusername WAIT FOR ME IM RUNNING lilymhe WAIT WAIT WAIT FOR ME TOO

verstrapping33 Yn and Max fr are the First Couple of Formula 1

maximillionverstars I'm begging for the content of Danny and Yn's shoey 😭

rb19sdownforce The only time I'm okay with Max not winning is when it's Danny on the top step

danielricciardo Melbourne, Australia

Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, f1 and 1,020,0347 others

danielricciardo What a special day! Winning my home race has been a dream for a long time and I can't believe it finally came true!

Thank you @/redbullracing for making a dream a reality!

View all 198,284 comments

redbullracing What a return! Congrats Danny!

f1 ELECTRIC! What a race! Congratulations Daniel!

scuderiaferrari What a race! Congratulazioni from everyone here at the Scuderia!

maxverstappen1 Could not be more happy! Gefeliciteerd!

yourusername DANIEL RICCIARDO I AM SO PROUD OF YOU I LOVE YOU

danielricciardo YN TAKE THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF maxverstappen1 Hey, woah, that's my girlfriend we're talking about yourusername I love you too, schat 🥰

rb19sdownforce I'M FUCKING SHAKING I CANNOT BELIEVE IT

redbullgiveschecowings DANIEL MOTHERFUCKING RICCIARDO

verstrapping33 The First Couple supporting their third wheel no one talk to me

maxverstappen1 Melbourne, Australia

Liked by danielricciardo, yourusername, redbullracing and 299,741 others

maxverstappen1 Congratulations, Daniel! A well deserved win and a fantastic result for the team! Could not be prouder of how this weekend turned out. Onward and upward!

View all 4,881 comments

danielricciardo No one I would rather have by my side!

maxverstappen1 Shoeys all around!

yourusername DANIEL GET OVER HERE WE'RE DOING SHOTS

danielricciardo WAIT FOR ME IM ON MY WAY maxverstappen1 @/charles_leclerc I refuse to be the babysitter tonight charles_leclerc ABSOLUTELY NOT @/lewishamilton THIS ONE'S ON YOU

maximillionverstars This weekend is going to keep me going for the next, like, forever

rb19sdownforce Somebody sedate me

yourusername Tokyo, Japan

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, alex_albon and 62,406 others

yourusername Can't get you off my mind 🎌

View all 5,037 comments

maxverstappen1 Just a week too early 😔 Have a safe flight, liefje 😘

yourusername Love you, schat 🥰

lilymhe Now that's what I call a successful girls' weekend

yourusername YES IT WAS

maximillionverstars The way that if I ever saw Yn in an airport I would actually treat her like royalty

lilymhe I treat her like royalty too, understandable maximillionverstars BRB I'm gonna go lie in a ditch and rethink my entire life

verstrapping33 Max and Yn's relationship is the blueprint

maxverstappen1 Suzuka Circuit

Liked by yourusername, redbullracing, danielricciardo and 400,822 others

maxverstappen1 Lovely conclusion to a lovely weekend! Suzuka you were amazing as always!

View all 9,282 comments

yourusername That's my boy! So proud, I love you schat! 🥰

maxverstappen1 My liefje 😘 I love you more

redbullracing Triumphant return to the top step!

danielricciardo Max can I have my turn with Yn this weekend? I want to go skydiving

maxverstappen1 You had her all of last race weekend, it's my turn danielricciardo But @/charles_leclerc had her last weekend yourusername Danny I'll hang out with you in two weeks when I'm off

verstrapping33 The entire grid fighting over Yn's attention 😭 They really are the First Couple, it's not a joke anymore

maxverstappen1 Paris, France

Liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 418,013 others

maxverstappen1 Schedules aligned for once. A lovely weekend in Paris was well needed. I love you, liefje 😘

View all 3,107 comments

yourusername I love you more, schat! 🥰

maxverstappen1 May can't end quick enough

charles_leclerc @/pierregasly when are you gonna take me for a date night in Paris

pierregasly When Carlos stops looking like he's gonna kill me if I so much as think about you carlossainz55 ☹️

rb19sdownforce Max's comment section kills me every time I open it

verstrapping33 So like... is Max a Target purchase or is he more of an Amazon find...

yourusername Custom made ☺️

yourusername Paris, France

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 59,150 others

yourusername Because my love is near 🇫🇷

View all 5,001 comments

maxverstappen1 City of love was lovey! I love you liefje 😘

yourusername No one I would rather experience it with. I love you schat 🥰

danielricciardo One of these days I am actually going to get a cavity at how sweet my best friends are

maxverstappen1 Make sure to brush your teeth tonight yourusername I'll book you a dentist appointment

rb19sdownforce I swear to god they're going to kill me with how cute they are

verstrapping33 Are we sure Max isn't a Target purchase...

yourusername Dubai, UAE

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 53,026 others

yourusername Coming soon 😉

View all 2,927 comments

maxverstappen1 I'm so proud of you, liefje 😘

yourusername Couldn't have gotten this far without your support, schat 🥰

lilymhe She's all grown up 😪

yourusername There's a ticket for my first flight with your name on it alex_albon What about me???? yourusername You can come too I guess danielricciardo And me? 😇 yourusername Are you gonna give up the jet???

maximillionverstars She's actually gonna slay so hard

verstrapping33 Looks like I'm only flying Emirates from now on (I am extremely broke)

maxverstappen1 Emilia Romagna

Liked by yourusername, redbullracing, danielricciardo and 519,264 others

maxverstappen1 Imola! Great feeling to be back on the top step. See you in Monaco!

View all 10,002 comments

yourusername Schat! 🥰 I'm so proud you Maxie

maxverstappen1 Go back to studying, liefje 😘 I'll call you in the morning verstrapping33 To what gods do I need to make sacrifices to in order to get a Max for myself

redbullracing There's our future World Champion x 4!

danielricciardo I'm sorry for spraying champagne directly into your eyeball

maxverstappen1 I suppose you're forgiven yourusername Daniel Ricciardo if you blind my boyfriend I will hunt you down a maxverstappen1 Easy, liefje

rb19sdownforce I miss the First Couple 😭

maximillionverstars If I don't get a Max within the next 6 months I will actually lose my mind and it will be irreversible

yourusername Dubai, UAE

Liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, redbullracing and 62,159 others

yourusername Best way to spend a study break. Congrats, @/maxverstappen1! I love you, schat 🥰

View all 7,141 comments

maxverstappen1 Felt your support the whole way through. I love you, liefje 😘 See you soon

yourusername ❤️💙🧡

danielricciardo Yn I miss you more than Max does

maxverstappen1 You definitely do not yourusername You can have dibs on second hug once I'm back, Danny

redbullracing Two more weeks until our First Couple returns

yourusername Counting down the days

verstrapping33 The way they support each other in everything they do 😭

redbullracing Circuit Gilles Villeneuve

Liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, f1 and 781,172 others

redbullracing 6 wins in a row for Red Bull Racing!

View all 40,235 comments

maxverstappen1 Keep it running!

danielricciardo Not anywhere near done 💪

yourusername My boys!

danielricciardo Come back ☹️ maxverstappen1 There's an empty space in the garage with your name on it, liefje

rb19sdownforce They always know how to give us a heart attack jfc

yourusername Dubai, UAE

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 90,028 others

yourusername Take off! The past eight weeks have been incredible. So excited to finally by a part of Emirates flight crew!

View all 8,102 comments

maxverstappen1 Liefje! I'm so so proud of you!

yourusername Schat! I love you so much 🥰

danielricciardo I, for one, think I would look the best with that hat

maxverstappen1 I would love to see you try yourusername MINE

lilymhe My girl!!!! Where are we going first

yourusername Wherever you want, love of my life maxverstappen1 Hold on... alex_albon YEAH HOLD ON danielricciardo WHAT THET SAID

verstrapping33 Reading the comments over breakfast like it's the morning paper

maxverstappen1 Barcelona, Spain

Liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, redbullracing and 499,197 others

maxverstappen1 Proud doesn't even begin to cover it! SO happy for you, @/yourusername. And so happy to have you back in the paddock with me.

View all 7,106 comments

yourusername I love you schat 🥰 Could not have made it through without you waiting for me at the other end

maxverstappen1 I love you more, liefje 😘

danielricciardo YN'S BACK????? WHY WASN'T I INFORMED.

maxverstappen1 Back off, Ricciardo 🤺 yourusername Danny, at ease soldier

redbullracing First Couple content coming soon

maximillionverstars First Couple doing First Couple things

verstrapping33 Don't mind me, just sobbing into my hot chocolate at how proud Max is

yourusername Barcelona, Spain

Like by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, redbullracing and 71,106 others

yourusername Let's pretend we're dancing in the street

View all 3,111 comments

maxverstappen1 My good luck charm. I love you liefje 😘

yourusername I love you more, schat 🥰

danielricciardo She's home!!!!

yourusername DANNY COME GIVE ME A HUG

lilymhe The one race I don't go to

yourusername Looks like you're just going to have to book a flight alex_albon @/maxverstappen1 should we be worried? maxverstappen1 I think maybe danielricciardo I'm the real threat here boys yourusername No you're not lilymhe No you're not

maximillionverstars BRB gonna go sleep on the highway

f1 Barcelona, Spain

Liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, redbullracing and 602,291 others

f1 Nothing, just the First Couple doing First Couple things

View all 19,228 comments

maxverstappen1 My favorite part of the weekend

yourusername First Couple, reporting for duty

redbullracing All is right in the world once again

✷✷✷✷✷

All photos from Pinterest, Instagram, or Google Images

[feelingf1]

treat you right - charles leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x gasly!girlfriend reader

summary: you go out clubbing one night with Pierre, that’s until he leaves you at the bar to go talk with his ex. Luckily there’s someone at the other side of the bar waiting for you

warnings: badly written NSFW. going down on eachother, p in v, all that jazz

authors note: this is my first time writing smut, so it probably sucks. sorry ‘bout that

enjoy :)

—————

The Monaco air was warm and heavy as you headed into the club. Your arm was linked with your boyfriend’s, Pierre. You two were going out to celebrate Pierre’s first podium since joining Alpine. You headed down to the tables, where you had margarita after margarita. You two were chatting the whole night, and you had never really felt happier.

But that was about to change dramatically.

You noticed Pierre’s eyes focus on somebody behind you, as his conversation started to become more distant. You stroked his hand. “Hey, you okay?”

Pierre nodded, “Yeah, yeah. I’ve just spotted Charles and Lando over there. Do you mind if I go and talk to them for a few minutes?”

Even though you were enjoying your private little night, you liked both Charles and Lando, and you knew how close Pierre was to the two of them.

“Yeah, go on. I’ll get us more drinks.” You smiled sweetly and got up from your table. He planted a kiss on your cheek. “Thanks, you’re the best.”

You headed over to the bar and sat up on the stool for a minute, waiting until the bar calmed down a bit before you ordered more drinks. You pulled out your phone and tuned out the world for a few minutes.

The bar finally calmed down, and you ordered your drinks and headed back down to the table. You started sipping on your margarita, until someone slid into the table, across from you.

“Hi, Pier-” You looked up from your phone to find out it wasn’t Pierre, but it was Charles that slid into the seat.

“Hey, Y/N, you look amazing tonight.” He said, whilst casually trying to check you out. “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”

“So, when did you break up with Pierre?”

You nearly gave yourself whiplash with how fast you looked at him. “What? I haven’t broken up with Pierre. I’m here with him right now. He said he was going to talk to you and Lando.”

Charles gulped and lowered his voice. “Well I’m sitting in front of you, and Lando is in London. Also he’s talking to someone, that may or may not be his ex girlfriend.”

You whipped your head around again, to see Pierre in the corner of the club, rubbing up against his ex girlfriend. You watched as he tilted her head back and started kissing her. You turned around to face Charles again.

“That motherfucker.” You said.

Charles moved from the seat across from you to the side beside you, where Pierre had been seated earlier.

“Agreed. He shouldn’t treat such a spectacular woman in such a horrible way.”

He stroked your cheek and looked lovingly into your eyes. You could feel your heart starting to beat faster, as you both slowly closed the gap between the two of you.

He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t deserve somebody like that Y/N. I’d never treat you like that. I’d make sure you’d be treated like a queen.” He said, his voice soft, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah?” You said. “Show me. Show me how I deserve to be treated.”

You were so mad at Pierre right now, you didn’t care that you were about to kiss, and probably do more, with his best friend, but weirdly, it didn’t even feel like it was wrong.

Charle cupped your jaw and he kissed you. At first it was soft and sweet, but you both began to deepen it within seconds. Charles bit your lips, begging for permission for his tongue to enter your mouth, which you granted him immediately. You felt yourself moaning into his mouth, trying desperately to make sure nobody else heard you.

As you started to deepen the kiss further, you could feel has hands traveling all over your body, lingering on your breasts and ass as he squeezed both. He guided you until you were sat on his lap straddling him.

He moved from your lips to your neck. “I’ll mark your neck princess, show everyone in the world that your mine. He would never have done that, would he?”

You shook your head. Charles really did know Pierre well, he hated PDA. Well he hated it with you. He was all for leaving marks all over his ex, but he wouldn’t even kiss your neck. Maybe he was never really into you in the first place, but Pierre was the last person on your mind right now.

You started grinding against Charles, wanting, begging for more. He made a trail of kisses down to your breasts, which were pushed up massively thanks to your bodysuit.

“Please Charles, I need more.” You whimpered and begged.

He nodded. “Yeah, but we’re going to have to move from here, you won’t be able to keep quiet when you’re screaming my name.”

He leaned into your ear. “Come back to my place, I’ll show you what your missing.”

You nodded frantically, not even having to think twice. Charles led you out of the club and he hauled a taxi to bring you both back to his apartment.

You climbed into the back and couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You had never been so thankful for a black-out screen, so the driver couldn’t see you.

Charles’ hands travelled up your thighs, until they reached your pussy. You moaned deeply as he felt how wet you were.

“So wet for me, mon amour, I love it.”

He moved your underwear aside and started fingering you. He found your clit almost immediately and you knew you wouldn’t be able to hang on long. You grabbed your tits and started massaging them.

“Charles, baby, you’re going to have to stop, I’ll come all over this taxi.”

As much as you enjoyed the PDA, you would feel terrible for making a mess in the back of this car. “Don’t worry about that, I have a solution.” He winked at you before going down on his knees in front on you.

You tried to resist but you couldn’t, as he spread your legs wide open and pulled down your underwear, leaving your pussy exposed. He didn’t waste any time before he licked a big strip, from bottom to top, before his tongue entered you.

He started to tongue-fuck you. You felt ecstatic, with the feeling his tongue hitting off of your clit. You held on to the door of the car, needing something to support you.

“Oh fuck, Charles.” You said, moaning his name. You grabbed onto his hair and guided him deeper into your pussy. “Fuck I’m gonna-”

Charles reached up and covered your mouth as your came, in some attempt to muffle your moans. He lapped up all of your juices like someone that had been starved. You collapsed into the seat, your heart beating fast. Once he was finished, he sat back up and started kissing you again.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Fuck. Yes. I couldn’t be better.”

“How much longer until we’re back at yours?” You asked, feeling the heat rising from between your legs. Whilst his tongue was spectacular, you needed something more.

“Could be 15/20 minutes. The Monaco traffic sucks in the middle of summer.”

You smirked up at him. “I know something else that can suck.”

You got down on your knees and pulled down his jeans and boxers, as his rock-hard dick sprung up. It twitched a bit after being exposed, before you started rubbing it and guiding it to your mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He said.

You licked the precum off before taking all of him into your mouth, slowly at first, but then increasing your speed. You grabbed his balls and started massaging them too. You could feel him melting under you.

He grabbed your hair and started pushing himself deeper into your mouth. He tilted his head back and moaned, “Fuck. You’re insane.”

You started to gag a bit and tears were streaming down your face, but you ignored that and focused on making him come in your mouth, which you were sure he was close to doing.

“Y/N, I’m gonna come, fuck.” As he groaned, he came in your mouth, and it was your turn to lap up his cum. You wiped your mouth and sat up on the seat beside him again.

He turned towards you and lowered your bodysuit, exposing your breasts. “You’re so sexy.” He said, his breath still slightly out of control, as he starting sucking your tits and leaving hickeys all over you.

That taxi came to a stop outside of Charles’ apartment. The two of you practically ran to his door, not being able to keep your hands off each other.

Charles shut his door and backed you up against it. You kept into his arms, putting your legs around his waist as you began to suck on his neck. He carried you over to his bed and gently put you down.

He took off your skirt and bodysuit, leaving you in your lingerie set, which you had imagined that Pierre would be seeing, but you were much happier that it was Charles.

He stood back and looked down at you, nearly exposed. “Fuck me, you’re like a piece of art, you’re perfect.”

You sat up and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, pulling him towards you. He pulled off his t-shirt to show his beautifully chiseled body. You looked down before looking up in his eyes. “Fuck me, please.”

He flipped you over so you were on your hands and knees and he started going into you, using one of his hands to hold your hip, for support, and the other to grab your tits.

You dropped onto your elbows with all the moaning he was making you do. You’d never been fucked like this in all your life. You moaned loader and loader each time.

“Scream my name. Let me hear how could you feel.”

After he hit your g-spot perfectly, that’s what you did. “Charles, fuck, oh my god.” It wasn’t long after before you came again, but it most certainly did not stop there.

“Please Charles, keep going, don’t stop.”

All of a sudden, a ringtone snapped you out of your pleasure. Charles leaned over to the side to see who it was. “It’s Pierre.”

“Fuck him. Don’t answer.” You replied back, you didn’t want to hear from Pierre now, or ever.

After a few minutes, he rang again. “Hang on amour, I have an idea.” He picked up the phone and put it on FaceTime.

“Charles, do you know where Y/N is?” Pierre asked, extremely slurred.

“Yeah, she’s under me.”

“Under you? No Charles in English you say with not under.”

“No, she’s under me.”

Charles then flipped the camera around to show Pierre how he was ramming into you, as you screamed his name again and again, unable to compress any of the moans.

He flipped the camera around again, “Don’t worry, I’ll treat her right.” He said, hanging up before Pierre got the chance to answer.

You and Charles then came at the same time. You came many more times that night, to the point you couldn’t remember who Pierre was. Charles made sure that you were his princess.

—————

you can read part two of this fanfic here

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Denim on Denim

A Seams x Grays crossover

Summary: Joel tries to get a haircut - but it turns out he can’t do anything in the QZ without getting into a fistfight, and you’re lucky enough to be in the audience.

Warnings: Mildly spicy thoughts, two sexy men fighting, language, reader was a hairdresser prior to the outbreak and has a nickname related to her job, no use of Y/N, no physical descriptions of reader, very lightly edited.

This oneshot can be read independently of the two series, but for the full experience, I recommend reading at least Grays. This is a post-outbreak AU of Grays, and is set before Seams Joel leaves the QZ. Part of the Shiv's salon drabbles.

Word count: 2.7k

Notes: A whole year after my random thoughts about how Joel's hair looks that good in an apocalypse and a random notif on this post that reminded of it, we finally get Joel to Shiv's salon... or do we? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I had a blast writing this oneshot - it's a bit silly, a bit spicy, I hope you enjoy it ❤️

‘Goddamnit.’

Joel swipes viciously at the curl hanging over eyes, like a boxer at a punchbag. Try as he might to slick it back, every time his shovel hits the dirt, the hair uncoils, bouncing obnoxiously in his field of vision.

He needs a fucking haircut. Tess usually does it for him every month or so, but she’s been in a mood - snapping at him, keeping him at arm’s length, she hasn’t even been to his apartment for two whole weeks.

This time of the year is hard for her. He knows all too well that he’s the same every September. They’re in each of their own time loops, a cage within the trappings of the QZ.

‘You look like you need a trim, bro.’

Joel barely glances up. He knows the guy, they share a surname after all. People call him Ben, or Benny, and even an old man like him knows he’s a good-looking son of a bitch.

They work the same shifts sometimes, and he knows Tess has crossed paths with him at the illegal fight nights. Joel has also seen him a few times at the bar, where he’s usually surrounded by even more good-looking motherfuckers.

Joel knows he’s a damn flirt too. He always has pretty words for Tess when he sees her. He’s harmless though, and he supposes that she deserves sweet nothings from at least one Miller since he’s no good at them.

Realising he hasn’t responded, Joel grunts noncommittally, self-consciousness prickling the back of his neck.

‘I know someone, she was a professional hairdresser before all this.’

Joel ignores him and keeps shovelling.

‘If you tell her you know me, she’ll give you a good rate.’

More shovelling.

‘Alright man, my shift’s up. See you ‘round.’

Five steps, and Joel sighs, digging the shovel into the dirt.

‘Wait.’

Joel stands on the doorway, and stares.

There’s an actual backwash in the corner of the dingy living room - well, living space. There are no doors in the tenement apartments.

‘You waiting for it to say hello back, or what?’

His eyes snap to yours, a scowl drawing his brows together.

Not that you look at all intimidated, one eyebrow arched high and an amused smile sitting lopsided on your lips, which he will admit throws him just a bit. He’s not used to having to work for it.

Giving you a tight nod, he takes two steps into the apartment. He recognises the layout, a mirror of his own, which is a few blocks away.

Closing the door with a flourish behind him, you ask brightly, ‘You’re here for a haircut?’

He’s about to answer when something winks at him, and he looks up, momentarily blinded by the reflection of afternoon light in the cracked mirror that hangs over a battered styling station.

Your apartment has windows that don’t look directly onto the next building, and sun floods the space. Even light is a real rarity in the shithole of a QZ, where everything indoors is dingy. He idly wonders if you had to bribe someone -

Distracted, he catches the sliver of a shadow moving from the corner of his eye a split second later than he would if he was on high alert. On reflex, his fingers find the hilt of his knife and he whips it out in a wide arc, swinging to his left where gunmetal catches the afternoon light.

‘Drop it!’ he barks, the same moment as the other man growls, ‘The fuck are you doing in my home with a knife?’

To Joel’s bewilderment, you chuckle somewhere to his right, amused. ‘C’mon guys. Dramatic, much?’

‘He snuck up on me,’ Joel growls defensively.

‘Frankie, put your gun away, dude’s just here for a haircut - I’m assuming anyway, he never did answer my question.’

‘Yes, I’m here for a haircut,’ he snaps, resheathing his knife. ‘Fuck would I be doin’ here if not?’

‘Fuck should I know, dipshit?’ retorts Frankie, tucking his gun in the back of his jeans. ‘You always bring a knife to your haircuts?’

‘D’ya always threaten to shoot paying customers?’

‘No, we definitely do not.’ You step into the space between the two men in case they get snippy with each other again. ‘Who sent you?’

Your customer crosses his arms, and you can’t help noticing the fabric of his shirt stretching across those broad shoulders. ‘Blondie.’

‘Blondie?’ you frown, confused. ‘Oh wait, you mean Ben? I thought I recognised you. I’ve seen you at one of his fights, with your wife? What’s her name now -’

‘Tess,’ he replies, then promptly looks like he wishes he’d stopped himself before he answered. ‘She’s not my -’ he trails off, and it’s clear he doesn’t like how you’re reading him at the moment, grumbling, ‘None of your damn business.’

‘Hey, you watch your mouth around my lady, old man,’ warns Frankie, ratcheting up the tension again.

Squaring his shoulders, the man seems to grow two inches. ‘Or what?’

Suddenly aware of being caught in the crossfire between your protective husband on one side, and this gruff, silvered stranger on the other, heat bubbles unbidden under your skin, the unexpected reaction from your body catching you off guard.

Biting your lower lip, you clear your throat, and somehow you sound steadier than you feel when you dispense the orders. 

‘Ok, this is enough. Frankie, sit down over there,’ you say, pointing him in the direction of the couch on the other side of the room. ‘And you - since you’re Benny’s friend, two ration cards.’

‘’M not his friend,’ he almost spits out that last word, as if it tastes weird.

You give him a pointed look. ‘Three ration cards, then.’

He huffs, and hands you two from his back pocket. ‘Fine, I’m Benny’s friend.’

You grin. ‘If you’re besties, it’s one.’

‘Don’t push it.’

You back off with a chuckle. ‘Fine, not besties. Maybe next time. Now sit.’

Joel does as he’s told, awkwardly, in the styling chair, a relic from the pre-outbreak days. It creaks dangerously under his weight, and it wobbles, slightly off-kilter. The cracked leather is warm from the sun, which seeps into his skin, and he finds himself wondering when was the last time he went to a hair salon.

Sarah used to love cutting his hair. She always made an afternoon out of it on one of his rare days not working overtime, putting the music on, setting up her Barbie mirror on the dining room table, and having him pick out a hairstyle from a magazine (it never looked anywhere near like the photos). She’d even put a disposable raincoat over him like a hairdresser’s cape. She really wasn’t any good, there’s a reason why Tommy didn’t let her anywhere near his curls, but he always wore her handiwork with pride -

So lost in his thoughts, he reacts purely on instinct when, for the first time in decades, fingers other than his own find his hair.

Swivelling around, he’s out of the chair in a split second, fingers wrapped tight around your wrists. You yelp as he pushes you back against the wall, which he sees from the shape of your lips but doesn’t hear over the blood pounding in his ears.

Joel barely holds you there for a second before he’s yanked backwards by a hand on the back of his collar, and he stumbles, crashing into the adjacent wall. He barely misses the fist heading towards his face, ducking just in time to save himself what would undoubtedly have been a broken nose.

He barrels into the younger man with his shoulder, expecting him to tumble back, and is surprised when he doesn’t budge. Joel’s aware he’s got a few years on him, but he more than holds his own against punks that age on the daily. This guy clearly has a background in combat, and it’s taking Joel everything to stay on his feet.

In the meantime, you’re still plastered against the wall, dazed by your customer’s reaction. Heck, you haven’t even gotten his name yet before he literally jumped you. He’s a skittish one, that’s for sure. 

You smile at the memory of Frankie’s first time with you at the salon - he’d give this guy a good run for his money. Lucky for him, you’ve always been good at wrangling the nervous ones.

Speaking of, the two men are now literally wrestling in front of you. If you had to venture a guess by the grays in the hair, you reckon your customer is pushing fifty. He’s built like a fucking tank though, and he’s giving everything he’s got.

So you decide to watch for a little while. Boys will be boys, best leave them to let off some steam. Leaning against the wall, you get comfortable, and you think wistfully to yourself that Ashton would have loved this view.

You’re not sure how you missed that they’re both wearing denim on denim, and you would struggle to pick out which is your husband if not for the hat on his head. Yes, the damn cap survived the apocalypse with him.

They are remarkably similar in build, though your customer seems to stand just a couple of inches taller. His biceps flex and bulge through the shirt sleeves as he scuffles with Frankie, teeth bared; meanwhile, your husband plants his feet, jeans stretched tight over his adorable little ass, trying to hold the man back long enough to throw a punch.

If the room was warm when they were trading barbs, it’s positively sweltering right now.

All you can see are broad shoulders and fabric bursting at the seams, grappling fingers and clenched fists. Back muscles rippling through denim, teasing slivers of skin and soft bellies when shirttails ride up and jeans fall low. The cheerful afternoon sun kisses their skin golden, casting long shadows across the creaking wooden floor.

And they’re not quiet. Throaty grunts as they jostle, panted breath peppered with cusses, fuck’s and sons of bitches as they wrestle for control.

Suddenly, you’re the one who’s out of breath despite not moving a muscle.

As much as you would’ve loved to stand and watch, you can tell both men are starting to get winded. You don’t exactly want the show to end, entertainment is hard to come by in the QZ, let alone of such a visually stimulating variety, in your own living room. But you think you hear the older man wheeze, their shirts are now stained with sweat, and the frantic energy they started with turns heavy with lethargy.

With a rueful sigh, you speak up, ‘Frankie, come on, that’s enough now.’

He growls, ‘No fucking way. He tried to hurt you!’

‘He barely touched me. It was just his PTSD acting out.’

‘I don’t have PTSD,’ the man protests, shooting you a glare before dodging an elbow.

‘There’s no shame in having PTSD,’ you admonish him. ‘Or in getting help.’

‘Why don’t you give me a hand then?’ he scoffs, tipping his head at Frankie.

‘Yeah, looks like you can use it,’ your husband taunts him.

‘Sure you can’t, asshole? Can’t even take down an old man on your own?’

‘I hope you're hungry, 'cause you're gonna eat your words, asshole -’

Hands on hips, you roll your eyes at the exceedingly average trash talk. ‘You know what? I tried asking nicely - I’m going in.’

It’s a tight squeeze, but somehow, you find a space between the elbows and shoulders and knees, and you wedge yourself in. It’s hot and humid between the two men, who are still trying to get at each other, despite the fact that you now have one hand on each of their chests, trying to pry them apart. Trapped between the two solid walls of chest, their raw strength vibrates through you, through harsh panting breath, the musk of sweat and man, and denim rubs rough on your bare skin where you’re pressed up against them.

It’s not hard to imagine being in this position in an entirely different situation, with the axis tilted, on a softer surface. Heat prickles all over you like needles, and unbeknownst to you, your thighs press together, and your panties start to feel sticky -

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ asks Frankie, incredulous as he looms over you, still grabbing onto the other guy’s shirt.

You bat your eyelashes at him, then crane your neck over your shoulder to wink at the other man. A little spiral of a curl dangles over his eyes as he glares at you, puffs of warm air hitting the shell of your ear. 

Knowing that your best chance of breaking off this nonsense is to wildly offend both men, you purr, ‘Making a delicious sandwich ‘cause I’m famished -’

Frankie flushes bright red instantly, and he roars, ‘Get your filthy hands off my wife, son of a bitch!’

Not that his hands are anywhere near you (a tragedy), nonetheless, the man jumps five feet back, as if you burned him. He may deny Tess being his wife, but the look of absolute horror of being accused of touching you speaks volumes.

You can tell he would have doubled over catching his breath, hands on his knees, if not for his pride. Stubbornly, he stands tall, hands on hips, chest heaving.

‘Bit jumpy, are we?’ you quip.

‘You always that handsy?’ he retorts.

‘Can’t help myself with beautiful curls like yours,’ you wink, and your smile widens when he flushes.

Frankie throws up his hands in disbelief. ‘Shiv, I’m standing right here.’

‘You always are,’ you tease, pressing a kiss to his pinched lips. ‘Now, go take a walk, you've made enough of a scene.’

‘I’m not leaving you here with him -’

The older man scoffs. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not interested in your woman.’

You feign indignation. ‘Hey! That’s hurtful.’

‘You should be, jackass!’ Frankie gripes, and promptly looks as confused as the other man at his own pronouncement.

Taking his hand, you pull him towards the door. ‘Go on babe, you were going to have a drink with Pope anyway. I got everything under control.’

‘Alright,’ Frankie relents, but not before he points a menacing finger at your customer. ‘If he tries anything -’

‘I know where the gun is,’ you finish his sentence.

Pressing one final kiss to your lips and throwing a glare over your shoulder, Frankie turns and leaves - and you preen at the knowledge that he trusts you can take care of yourself.

Once the door closes, you smile. ‘So… should we start over?’

 The man snorts. ‘I’d say.’

‘I’m Shiv,’ you say, but you don’t offer him your hand. He doesn’t seem to be the handshaking type.

He picks up on your perception, studying you with curious eyes. ‘Joel.’

Pushing the swivel chair back to the styling station, you gesture at him to retake his seat, and this time, you make sure his eyes are on yours in the mirror while you stand over his shoulder.

‘Hair’s a bit long, huh?’ you remark, eyeing the ringlet over his eyes.

‘It’s drivin’ me nuts,’ he admits.

You hold up your hands this time, giving him plenty of notice. ‘May I?’

He nods, and you start small, wrapping the spiral around your index finger with a grin. ‘I wasn’t just saying it, y’know. You do have beautiful hair.’

He shifts awkwardly, the chair squeaking, obviously uncomfortable with compliments. ‘Dunno. I’m all gray and shit.’

‘As someone wise once said, grays are sexy as fuck,’ you assure him. Running your fingers through his curls, you study the texture critically, noting the blunt ends and uneven thickness. Nothing a professional haircut can’t fix. ‘Trust me, I’m very wise.’

He hums, unconvinced, but you can see the lines around his eyes crease in amusement. ‘If you say so.’

You wink at him in the mirror. ‘When I’m done with you, Tess will have the hardest time keeping her hands to herself.’

‘What makes you think she doesn’t already?’

It takes you a moment to unfreeze, stunned by his retort. At his arched eyebrow, you burst into laughter. ‘You’re a sassy one, aren’t you, Joel?’

He huffs, half-amused, and shakes his head. ‘It’s a haircut, not a miracle.’

You squeeze his shoulder, grinning when he doesn’t jump at the contact. ‘Trust me, I’m just that good at my job.’

More notes: If you enjoyed this oneshot, I wrote a series of drabbles of Shiv giving other Pedro boys haircuts - you can find them in the Grays masterlist 🩶 I may write more for this universe and some point if inspiration strikes again, thank you for reading!

And if you wanted an inspo shot of Joel's hair, here you go ❤️

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 3 - Chance~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: As you adjust to life in the hotel, you start to form bonds with other guests and offer your help when needed. However, things take a turn when you faint and wake up in the room of the one person you hoped to avoid.

Themes: The usual angst, mystery (Alastor), sassiness, Val is mentioned, Angel gets hurt (sorry), cursing, fluff, eventual smut (the next part is a SPICY one sinners), actual plot, slow burn, and of course 18+, this is the last shorter chapter, I'll start feeding you more!

1.7k Words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (You're on it!) Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

Over the next few weeks you seem to adjust well to the hotel. You try to help Nifty with at least one meal a day, give advice to Charlie on different ‘redemption exercises’, and have even helped an eggboy or two not get scrambled. Alastor seemed to keep his distance which was much appreciated (especially after hearing the stories and history of the “Radio Demon”). You do what you can to fill the void you feel from not being able to help to your full potential. Of course, there really hasn’t been a need for your expertise. But as they say, ask and you shall receive.

Angel was coming in from yet another brutal shift with Val. He was usually quick to dismiss the bruising around his wrists and face. “Comes with the job babe!” He’d say through a toothy smile. “I didn’t do a good job if I don’t come home with some battle scars!” You’d share a look with Husk, silently agreeing how fucked up this was, but Angel always changed the subject to avoid any pity or awkwardness.

This time was different. It was later than usual. Everyone but you and Husk had long since made their way to bed. Angel walked in staggering and not in the ‘oh he was out with Cherri’ way. He was barely able to make it to the couch before collapsing to his hands and knees. His breathing shallow and raspy – you could hear the blood gurgling in his lungs as he struggled with each breath. This was the worst Val had done yet. That motherfucker is going to kill him one day if he keeps this up – Overlord or not, he’s going to pay. You take a mental note to make a visit to Val, but right now, Angel needed help.

Carefully you try to lift him onto the couch. Angel hisses from the sudden movement. Damnit this is bad. I need a few seconds without any eyes around. “Husk, be a dear and run up to my room please. I have some medical supplies by my bed.”

“No need, I have some stuff behind the ba----” he stops when he sees the glare you’re shooting over your shoulder. “Ah alright fine, I’ll be right back.” he grumbled as he made his way up the stairs. That was the great thing about Husk - he wasn’t one to ask too many questions.

Finally alone you lay Angel back on the couch. “Hey Angel? Babe? I need you to look at me. I know it hurts and it’s hard to breathe but I have a trick that’ll help relieve some of the pressure. Trust me?” He places one of his hands on your shoulder as confirmation, unable to get enough air to speak. Time to work my magic.

Kneeling by the couch, you gently place your hands on his ribs and stomach while leaning your head over his chest, “Alright babe I need you to take a deep breath and close your eyes. This won’t feel great.” You wince as the words leave your mouth. For this to work you’d have to cause him some discomfort otherwise some more complication questions might arise. R̷̢͙̃ǘ̷̮͔͠l̵̰̝̆ḛ̷̀͊ ̵͕̍#̵̜̌2̷̼́̅ Never tell a soul what (or how much) power you have.

“Ok eyes closed and breathe in 3……2…..1….” I’m sorry Angel, you deserve so much better than this.  In one motion you shove into his ribs sending him writhing in pain while you place a soft kiss on his chest. The internal injuries made it easy to hide the pink glow that usually came from the wound, however the pain…yeah that shit still felt like torture. During your time training with Carmilla you learned the graver the injury, the more agonizing it was for you. After a few intense moments of pain, you pull away and sit back on your legs, trying to hide the lingering sting you felt in your lungs.

Angel groaned as he opened his eyes, finally able to take a proper breath. “Uhhhgg—what the fuuuuuuuuuuck was that?”

“Just some tricks I had to learn living in the city. You know how rough it gets out there. Glad you’re already feeling better.” You peck Angel’s cheek, feeling a soft twinge on your lips. The last bit of bruising on his face fades without him even realizing it. “Thanks toots. I don’t know how you did it, but I owe ya one.”

On queue Husk turns down the stairs with your medical kit. His face twists in a mix of relief and shock watching Angel up moving as if he wasn’t just on the verge of death five minutes earlier. He chuckles making his way back behind the bar. “Damn you’ve got quite the touch I see.” You tense at his choice of words. Fuck fuck fuck…calm down, he didn’t see anything. “Remind me to keep you on speed dial. Satan knows this one is bound to need you around again!” Husk points to Angel who by now has taken his usual place at the bar. “Oh shut up pussycat – the only thing I need right now is a few shots to forget this day ever happened! Let’s go! Booze me up Mr. Bartender!”

Deciding you have had enough excitement for the night, you say good evening to the guys and drag yourself through the quiet halls. Cursing the aftershock your body was going to endure after having to heal such extensive damage. It wasn’t horrible, more annoying like a bad hangover or flu, but the joy and warmth you felt from being able to help always made the pain more than worth it. You were just a few doors away from your room when your vision blurred. Why is the hall spinning? I don’t remember drinking. Oh fuck ----

Soft music fills your ears as you regain some form of consciousness. A familiar smell floods your senses causing your eyes to shoot open. Looking around you realize you’re in Alastor’s room. Not that you’d been here before, but between the bayou to your left and the freshly laundered red suits hanging by the door - it was obvious. Plus, his smell filled the room. You’d only dreamt of that smell and his warmth at least twice a week since first meeting the demon, much to your frustration.

Sharp static and ringing fill your ears as you sit up. Is this going to happen every time with this guy? Alastor appears in his chair by the bayou, chest puffed out and legs crossed. “Finally awake I see. I was just leaving my radio tower for the evening when you were coming down the hall. Quite a spectacle watching you try to walk straight. Drink too much with our good pal Husker?”

There he goes again trying to drill his eyes into your soul. You’ve seen him interact with the others. His eyes never had the same intensity as they did with you. Lie lie lie. “Yeah, you know how hard him and Angel go some nights. Guess I shouldn’t try to keep up next time.” You try to laugh it off hoping the answer was sufficient enough for him to drop the subject.

It wasn’t.

“Hmmm that’s funny. I didn’t smell a bit of alcohol when I picked you up off that floor.” Shit. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything dear however blatantly lying to me will get you on a side you don’t want to be on.” The static in his voice was piercing. You stared at him in silence. Work brain work, please give me anything. Rule #4 Never let your w̸͉̐e̵͓͐a̷̘͆k̴̭̏ñ̶͔e̶̢͒s̵̩̉ś̵͈è̸̮š̶͚ ̴̣̏s̴̖̈́h̷̲͐o̶̳͗w̷̱̾. Your lack of response apparently told him everything he needed in the moment. Standing up now, he begins to mindfully take off his jacket, unbutton his vest, and push up his sleeves.

This is it. This I how I die. And all because ---- oh fucking hell --- how did he get even more attractive? Is he doing this on purpose? Wow I’ve really got to get my priorities straight.

You can feel your heart pounding into your throat in anticipation as he sits in front of you on the bed. He slowly removes his gloves and tosses them to the side table.

“Let’s try this again…“

He reaches for your hands making you jerk slightly but he doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. You feel him pull you and as if under a spell, you follow mindlessly until you’re resting on your knees. He brings your inner wrist to his lips, gently peppering kisses between his words.

“What could possibly... “ kiss

“cause someone to drop as if… “ kiss

“the very life was sucked out of them?” kiss

An unfamiliar heat rips through your body, settling in your stomach and a little lower if you were being honest. You’ve never allowed anyone to be this intimate with you. Rule #3 N̴e̵v̴e̶r̵ ̷b̶r̷i̶n̸g̷ ̷a̸n̵y̷one too close.

“I – I – don’t..I didn’t – just tired.“ you give up on trying to form a coherent answer. What is he trying to get out of this? Alastor rests your hands on his cheeks. A deep sigh leaving his lips when he feels your warmth. You didn’t dare move, realizing you were just as touch starved as the demon in front of you.

Your mind is at full blown war. Torn between the desire to lean into this precarious high and absolute rage that he was trying to get into your head.

“I need to know so I can help you, my dear. I want to protect you.” His voice was clear but low. It lacked any trace of his usual radio effect. It’s as if he was dropping every façade. Speaking to you not as the Radio Demon but as just Alastor. “You and I could do great things [Y/N]. Trust me. Let me show you.”

What is he doing? I have worked relentlessly to be one of the strongest, most elusive demons in Hell. I fear no one. I need NO ONE. Yet here I am completely unravelling…

….to the Radio Demon.

Rule #̴̤͌1̴̢͝ ̶̘̽N̵̹̐e̴̯̋v̷̳̈́e̸̯̎r̵̠̕ ̸͈̊t̵̼͑ŗ̷̃u̴͔̓s̷̢̑t̴̪̓ ̵͎̊a̴̺͛n̶̛̳o̴̺͆t̴̤̿h̶̗̿e̴̞̋ȓ̸͜ Overlord.

[embrosegraves]

𝕃𝕒 𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕒 𝔸𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕠

(request) Fernando Alonso x Fem!Wife!Reader Family Picnic <3333

Warnings: I did have to consult Google Translate for some of the Spanish

2k words

It was a good day. The sun was out, the temperature wasn’t too hot and the breeze was nice and cool. It would’ve been a crime if you didn’t take advantage of the beautiful weather. 

You shook your husband beside you. He grumbled half awake, turned over and tried to go to sleep again. You rolled your eyes at him. No matter what Fernando said to the contrary, he was getting old and as much as he didn’t like it, it definitely showed. You knew there was only one other way to make sure that Fernando was awake and out of the bed. 

“If you don’t get up right this second, I’m not going to let you touch me until the next F1 season.” You grunted while using as much of your strength as you could to push him off the bed. He landed on the ground with a loud THUD. 

“Hijo de puta!” He exclaimed as he hit the floor. [Motherfucker!]

“Oye! Watch your mouth, your kids are in the next room!” If it wasn’t funny, you might’ve sounded more angry at his foul language. [Hey!] 

 “What did I do to deserve this?” Fernando peeked his head over the side of the bed, taking his sweet time getting up. 

“If you had listened the first time I told you to get up, we wouldn’t be having this discussion, would we?” You asked, getting out of the bed and walking towards the ensuite. “Now stop whining, I need to get the kids up and ready. I have plans for today.” 

“You’ve been spending too much time around my mother.” Fernando finally stood up, and went to grab a shirt from the closet. “You’re becoming just like her.” 

“Good!” You shouted through the closed bathroom door. “Ana is an amazing woman!” 

Fernando could only shake his head in amusement, as he made his way out of the bedroom and into the hallway leading him to his children’s rooms. He first went to the opposite end of the hallway, knowing it would be easier to wake up his oldest children first. He knocked on the furthest door and waited.

“Yeah?” Fernando could hear that his eldest daughter, Marcella, had only just woken up. 

“Mamá has plans for today. Get dressed to go outside por favor.” 

“Bueno! I’ll be out in a bit.” 

Satisfied that Marcella was now awake and getting dressed, Fernando made his way to the next room. Knocking on the door, he wasn’t expecting for it to open. But apparently his son had other ideas. 

“Sí Papá?” Fernando Jr was his father’s carbon copy. A fact that Fernando just loved mentioning whenever he could. So you could avoid the confusion when talking to them both, you had started calling your son Junior. 

Fernando smiled and ruffled his son’s hair. “Your Mamá has something planned, so get dressed to go out.” 

“Oye! I just brushed my hair!” 

“You sound like your mother.” Fernando said as he walked off and towards the last door. 

“Good! Mamá is amazing!” 

Chuckling, Fernando gently opened the door that led to the nursery. He flicked the light on and stood in the doorway, just watching his twins’ little chests rise and fall as they slept. He almost didn’t want to wake them at all, but he knew that they would have the best time with whatever it was you had planned. Walking quietly he moved further into the nursery. Softly caressing their faces, Fernando woke them up as gently as he could. 

“Hola Pequeños. Buenos Días.” He made sure to keep his voice quiet when he saw their eyes open. [Hey Little Ones. Good morning.]

“Hola Papá.” said his youngest daughter, Magdalena. Her little voice was still riddled with sleep. She was lethargic as she crawled into her father’s arms, wrapping her tiny ones around Fernando’s neck as he rubbed her back. 

“¿Dormiste bien, Princesa?” she nodded her little head, too tired to speak. [Did you sleep well, Princess?]

By now Magdalena’s twin, Pedro, had sat up and was rubbing his eyes with his tiny fists. He yawned and also made his way onto his father’s lap. 

“¿Dónde está Mamá?” he asked. [Where is Mummy?”

“¿Deberíamos ir a buscarla?” Fernando received two little nods so he wrapped an arm securely around each of the twins and slowly walked out of their room. [Should we go look for her?]

Fernando walked towards the kitchen where he could hear you making breakfast. He could see Marcella and Junior going to sit down at the kitchen island, talking to each other about what teams they thought were going to do well during the Formula 1 season. 

Once everyone was done with eating breakfast, Marcella and Junior grabbed Pedro and Magdalena from their high chairs and went to help them change into some appropriate clothes for the day. Nando started cleaning up the breakfast dishes while you had gotten started on making some sandwiches. 

“What’s on the agenda today, Mi Amor?” Fernando asked, placing the last clean dish on the drying rack. 

“I was checking the weather for today before you got out of bed, and I’ve decided that we’re going to have a family picnic.” You replied, packing the sandwiches into ziploc bags and setting them aside. “I was thinking, we go to your parent’s house and ask if they’d like to join us.” 

Fernando came up beside you and started to help prepare little snacks for your children. “You know if we go there and ask, my mother will insist we have it on their property?” 

“Oh you think this plan is spontaneous?” The look on your face almost made Fernando nervous.

“It’s not?” 

You laughed and bumped him with your hip. “Amor, Ana and I have been planning this outing for weeks. You and your father are the only ones who didn’t know. No doubt Ana has told José by now, just like I am telling you now.” 

Moving to the fridge to grab some fruit that needed to be cut, you kept talking to him about the plan you had concocted with Ana. 

“Your mother had called me the other week saying how she misses you because you’re always travelling with Formula One, so I told her you were home this weekend. We started planning pretty quickly after that. Originally the plan was for Lorena and her children to join us as well, but something came up so Lorena is out being a successful and wonderful mother. We were always going to go to your parents- wash and cut the strawberries please- because they have the most space for Junior and the twins to run around. 

“And of course, Marcella will want somewhere with shade and that big awning over the pool and garden is just perfect for her. And your mother pointed out that at some point the twins will get tired so going to your parents’ means that the twins can sleep in the guest room there so we don’t have to leave and go home early.”

“Women scare me sometimes.” Fernando handed you the strawberries and you put them into a tupperware container before putting them in the basket you had found to put all the food in. 

“Good. It’s a healthy fear to have.” You said before yelling out to the kids that it was time to go. 

Junior ran down the stairs holding Pedro while Marcella followed behind him with Magdalena at a much slower pace.

“Junior, don't run with your brother, you could drop him.” 

“Lo siento Mamá.” Junior said sheepishly. [Sorry Mum.]

You opened your mouth to speak again but before you could, your phone started ringing in your pocket. Pulling it out, you saw it was Ana calling you. With a smile on your face you quickly answered the call. 

“Hola Ana! … Claro si-” You had begun walking to your office while you spoke with your mother in law. Fernando grabbed Pedro from Junior and had started ushering the children out to the car. [Hello Ana! … Of course yes-]

Marcella had become a professional at getting the twins in the car when you weren’t around, and Fernando was forever confused at how she had managed to get them to listen. Fernando had even asked her one day how she managed it but all she did was give him a wink and continued to do her schoolwork. 

Just as Fernando closed Marcella’s car door, you walked out of the house, phone and picnic basket in hand. When you got closer to the car, Fernando grabbed the picnic basket and put it in the boot of the car. Walking back, he opened and closed the passenger door for you before getting into the driver’s seat. 

The drive to Fernando’s parents wasn’t an extremely long journey. The 30 minute drive was spent listening to your young children blabber on about the scenery or about the kids at school. 

The only one of your children who wasn’t talking often was Marcella. The 16-year-old was texting on her phone with a smile on her face. Fernando had looked in the rearview mirror at her. 

“Who are you texting Cariño?” 

Marcella’s smile dissipated. “No one.” 

“Are you sure? You were smiling pretty big.” 

“It was no one Papá.” 

“I just want-” You smacked Fernando’s shoulder. You had spoken about how to approach this kind of situation years ago, when you had been pregnant with Marcella. Fernando went to start complaining but you interrupted him. 

“No, you will stop talking. If Marcella is texting someone, it is not our business.” You turned as much as you could in your seat to look at your daughter. “However, I do have two questions about them. One, how old are they? And two, do they make you happy?” 

Your daughter smiled at you, “They’re only a month older than me and they make me very happy.” 

“Then that’s all I care about.” 

Eventually you arrived at your In-Law’s. Everyone got out of the car and your children ran to the front door where their grandparents were waiting with arms open, ready for hugs. 

You greeted your father-in-law with a hug and a kiss to both his cheeks. You laughed when he made a joke about putting Fernando to work, getting the things from the car. 

“Of course! He’s been annoying lately so he’s got to make up for it.” 

You gave José one more hug before greeting Ana and walking inside with her. You heard Jose say something to Fernando that made you giggle.

“You know, ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ isn’t just a saying, right?” 

By the time the men had made it to the backyard, you and Ana had laid out the big picnic blanket and started making the drinks for the adults to enjoy. Fernando would have one drink at the beginning before sticking to water for the remainder of the day as he would be driving home. Ana had taken the basket from Fernando and began to set out the food you had prepared. You had finished the drinks and handed them out, rolling your eyes when you heard Fernando talking to his father about what happened in the car earlier with Marcella. 

“Fernando, I swear if I hear you talking about this again, you’re sleeping on the couch.” 

“I just wanted to make sure she was being careful! That’s my little girl.” He said, thanking you for the drink before turning to his dad. “What would you have done, Papá?” 

“Don’t involve me. I had no issues with Lorena.” 

“Mi Amor, do you remember when we were teenagers and I spent two weeks living with you and your family?” 

“Of course I remember. Two of the best weeks of my life.” He smirked and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Yeah well, I spent those two weeks not speaking to my father because he kept asking me about my ‘secret boyfriend’. He never stopped asking about you so I stopped talking to him for two weeks. And I’m stubborn so if my mamá hadn’t knocked some sense into him, I would have never spoken to him again. Do you really want that with Marcella?” 

Fernando looked a little heartbroken and ashamed of how he had treated the situation. He had known that something had happened between you and your father but he didn’t realise it was like that. 

“I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself if she stopped talking to me.” 

“So don’t push her. She will come to us when she’s ready.” You said, squeezing him in comfort. “Now let’s put this out of our minds and enjoy a picnic with our children. Vamos.”

This took me so long 😭😭😭 I wanted to make sure I was 100% happy with it

This definitely would've been so much bigger but I didn't want to make everyone wait even longer.

As always, likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

(also do you guys think it would be a good idea for me to set up a paypal or a kofi for my fics? I've been thinking about it a lot recently but idk)

[lurkingshan]

Cherry Magic Episode 6

Let's just start with a primal scream, besties, because that was motherfucking perfect!!! Say it with me:

TAY TAWAN IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

I stood up and cheered for Achi when he finally realized his feelings are his own and not just some kind of sympathetic response to what he's reading from Karan. He needed a little bit of time apart from Karan to process that, and to realize how much he has come to rely on Karan's presence in his every day life. His decision to act as soon as he figured it out made me so damn proud of him. And I love that he did a classic Japanese bl run to cap it off.

And it all felt even sweeter because we were so well-grounded in Karan's emotions, his long-term pining, his ownership of his own feelings and willingness to create space for Achi, and his earnest desire to just make things better for him. The absolute relief on his face when he realized his desire to care for Achi and his romantic feelings for him are no longer in opposition to each other—besties, I am emotional! You deserved that moment, Karan.

This adaptation continues to be so smart about how it takes the same basic plot beats of the original story and makes them feel distinctly its own, and distinctly Thai. The emotional reactions are bigger, the dialogue is harsher, the physical affection is less restrained, and the community is just all around more involved in every beat of the story. I loved Pai and Rock coming along to help Achi reach his destination (and also Pai knowing they needed to get out of there because this moment was not for them). I love Rock continuing to see so much good in Pai and his commitment to telling her sincerely how much he admires her.

And I continue to be absolutely smitten with Jinta and Min. I love what this adaptation is doing with them, how sweet and genuine their connection feels, how knowingly Min is pulling Jinta out of his comfort zone. That book store date was so fucking adorable and I loved every moment of it, especially Jinta yelling so loud in his own head that he didn't even hear Min's thoughts when he hugged him.

What a show, what a time to be alive. I know the distribution on this one has been tough and we seem to hit snags with watching it every week, but please persist because this show is so worth your time.

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

First of all, very in love with the digital reader fic you put out <3

But since reader expressed not knowing why they were in hell I just couldn't help myself from thinking about this-

Reader: I don't even know why I'm here, the hell did I ever do?

Lucifer: Didn't you crash over half of all the systems on earth when you were alive?

Reader: That was an accident! I was only trying to crash like...ten!

Just a goofy thought that popped into my head- destructive characters that are chaotic on accident my beloved lmao-

Kisses darling <3

-📽

Sweet silly little Lucifer with his ducks. I feel like everyone thinks he's completely aware of everything happening in Hell at all times. Meanwhile, he's just making ducks and missing his daughter and can't remember the last time he ate.

Digital Pet [Vox x Reader, but this is a Lucifer interaction]

What Do You Mean You Don't Know

You'd been surfing through the digital plane like any other day. Vox had his schedule completely full, so you were on your own the pass the time. You hopped between windows that led into various devices all around Hell.

It was hard to tell where you were most of the time, but a part of you was convinced that you could slip into the devices of demons outside the Pride Ring. You'd once seen hellhounds and succubi at a party when you'd peeked into a large screen behind a DJ on stage. The large venue was covered in honeycombs and you saw some sort of lava lamp-looking furry doing shots in the middle of the energized crowd. While the aesthetic was similar enough to what you'd seen in the sinner's little slice of Hell, it felt... different.

It was precious information you decided to hold close to your chest. Maybe you'd tell Vox one day but from everything you'd seen about his power-hungry reputation, you decided it may be best not to play your card too soon. For all you know, it was just an exclusive club with different vibes. It wasn't unheard of for demons from the other rings to come to the clubs in Pride.

You were floating through an endless hall of screens and lights, looking between the different windows into the world you couldn't hope to touch when you saw a face that made you double-take.

"Is that..." You float back and gasp as you get a closer look that confirms your suspicions. "Oh, you motherfucker!"

Lucifer let out a startled yelp, dropping the duck he'd been painting as he fell out of his chair. He'd just been minding his own business, listening to some light jazz while he made duckie replicas of his daughter and all her little friends at the hotel when a loud voice suddenly blasted over the music on his laptop.

He frowned as he looked down and saw his white pants splatted with the fresh red paint of Alastor's duck. He was on his ninth attempt at replicating the cocky jerk and had finally been on the verge of getting his stupid grin right when you startled him.

"Oh great," Lucifer grumbled as he pulled himself off of the ground. "It's already bad enough I have a growing pile of ducks dedicated to this prick, now he's ruining my clothes too."

Lucifer leaned over his desk, trying to see what sort of pop-up advertisement or virus had gotten on his system when he suddenly saw you watching him with crossed arms. Your small form glared at him from where you sat atop of his video player.

"A sinner...?" Lucifer blinked slowly before looking at you in awe. He could see your soul and recognized you as a person immediately. "What on Earth are you doing in there?"

"You tell me!" you point at him angrily. "You're the guy in charge of this shit, aren't you? What did I ever do to you?! I didn't do anything to deserve a worse Hell than everyone else."

"How should I know?" Lucifer squawked as he threw up his arms in defense... "I haven't gone outside in... wait, what day is it?"

"How do you not know?" You ask, the two of you amping each other up in your confusion. "You're Lucifer! This is literally your entire thing!"

"Uh, excuse you," Lucifer tsked as he placed a hand on his chest. "I'll have you know I am a man of ducks and dadness. Not keeping track of every soul that drops into Hell. Do you have any idea just how many of you die a day? A lot. Too many. Just. Please get better at staying alive, I beg you."

You deadpan at him before shaking your head with a sigh. "Well, do you at least know how to get me out of the digital plane? I'd like to actually eat food or let my feet touch the ground o-or sleep in a bed!"

"Uhh," Lucifer laughed nervously. "Yeaaaah, no. Nope. Sorry uh, no. Technology isn't something I really know anything about. I'd love to help but uh, yeah... no."

You groan, obviously disappointed in his answer as you flop over to the side and let your frustration win in the moment. You run a hand down your face and look up at the great devil of Hell with a sigh.

"Do you at least have any idea why I'm in Hell and not Heaven?"

Lucifer hummed, squinting at you as he ran a history check on your soul. It took a lot longer to find a reason than he expected, but then he finally landed on it.

"Ah, there it is," he muttered. "Looks like you ate the last slice of birthday cake in the fridge back in your college days."

Your jaw drops, for a couple of reasons. The top reason should have been that such a little thing damned your soul for eternity. However, your priorities were a bit skewed. Which became transparently obvious as you exclaimed, "Excuse me?! It was MY birthday cake!"

"Yeah, but they called dibs," Lucifer shook his head with a sigh. "Heaven takes dibs very seriously. And as you should know by now, I don't make the rules."

The powerful demon grumbled like a child as you recovered from the absolute bullshit that was your afterlife. It wasn't until you'd sat back up that you looked past Lucifer and finally noticed his room.

"Why the fuck are there so many ducks?"