#that only makes sense if you expanded the post actually um uh um

[selfinserttothestars]

Damn who made them cry tho???

[starboundsingularity]

Um- hello there! Nice to see you guys stopping by my blog.

So uh- I've got some unfortunate news......

You see, as I'm writing this post, asks that I have yet to answer are slowly piling up in my inbox. And I'm starting to lose the motivation to write the prompts out. For awhile now, actually. I seemingly have no more ideas and don't have enough creativity juice in this noggin o' mine to actually produce anything else.

So, it is with great displeasure that I must announce that this au might be- discontinued. Which is really sad to me, because new people that are expecting *new* stuff are piling in! But I truly don't have the energy to continue this little project.

Well, now that it's kind of...over, for this. What happens next?

I figured that since I'll most likely not use the leftover concepts that's been cookin' in my head for this au- I might aswell share it with you all right now! So buckle up, buttercup. We're going out with a bang.

(WARNING: EXTREME RAMBLINGS INBOUND)

Okay! So, one of the more prominent concepts that I was planning on expanding involved mask and the rest of Team Cyan! For those who saw the post involving his headshot, you would have noticed that he was a bit...melty. And that's cause he is! And the rest of his team too!

Managing to survive the Nils Statue that started it all, Team Cyan stayed in inkopolis since day one. Surviving off of scraps and scavenging resources from abandoned apartments, they found no reason to leave. They were sneaky after all. Falling into whatever slime coated the city was the least of their problems. (And since the early stages of the ooze were relatively harmless, they were almost completely unscathed.)

Of course, the ooze slowly started to develop over time. And so did its potency. So without realizing- (or maybe they just didn't care) Team Cyan were exposed to the effects of the hive in an extremely slow process. By the time the hive reached a point where it could actually move around and "hunt", Mask and Co. Weren't even considered potential targets. To the hive, they were so close to the edge of joining that it cant even tell them apart from itself.

So yea! They're slowly yet surely becoming one with the hivemind. Woopsies.

Second major concept!!!

One of my favorite perspectives during the blog was with Prince and N-Pacer, and that was mainly because I was planning a huge story thing even before I started the whole blog!

For those who remember, they weren't able to recover Emperor and the rest of Team Monarch when the Nils Statue hit- as they were the only two together during the massive event. Prince is in denial, while N-Pacer assumed the worst. (Which played into her overprotective nature of his brother.)

So the thing is- Emperor is actually dead. Just gone. One with the cephalopod smoothie. And I wanted a moment where Prince snuck away from N-Pacer in the middle of the night to try and scavenge for himself, leading him to be isolated in the woods of Mt. Nantai.

And guess who's there with him!!!! That's right baby!!! The ooze is there!!!! And what can mimic voices????? THE OOZE!!!!

So using emperor's voice, the sentient Mt. Dew slushie almost lures Prince into an ambush- before N-Pacer manages to scare it away at the last second! She scoops up Prince, and a chase ensues.

They would escape, and would leave Mt. Nantai due to the fact that their safe space was now infiltrated. The duo would eventually meet up with Aloha's group, but that's about it.

And the last concept that I kinda scrapped rather quickly but I thought it was cool enough to include it anyways- there was a point where there would be a major twist in the blog where you guys: the askers- were the ooze all along!!! Trying to gather information about our protagonists to hunt them down! But unfortunately, it didn't make that much sense to me. How would they connect to the character's communication line? What would happen once they figure out the truth? Stuff like that. Alas, it was neat.

So! That's the end of it!

You all were an absolutely amazing audience, and I had a blast with the little time we had together. There's no end to the amount of thanks I need to give, truly! But this story needs to come to an end.

(Unless someone wants to continue it *cough*)

So, yeah. It's been fun everybody! I'll see you on the flipside.

-The Author

[mysteriesofmarcy]

Maystery Monday #3b: Finale Thoughts!

OK, so I obviously wanted to do this one last week, but I had to wait until I could actually stand to talk about the finale. This week it will be a mess of thoughts I am having as I watch the episode for the second time.

Before I start, I should mention that yes, like I thought last time, this episode did feel like a post-finale.

Um, yeah, so Darcy only told Andrias to call it "Darcy". So how do Olivia and the rest of Amphibia know that name? And how did Anne and Sasha know it in the previous episode? And (and this may be just me being kinda out of the loop on these things) how did the fandom know that name well before the episode came out? I'll expand on that in a future post.

When Marcy said that The Core's biggest fear is to be irrelevant and useless, my first thought was "I fail to see how destroying an entire civilization is going to make The Core relevant and useful again."

When Mother Olm mentioned the "secret spell", I was absolutely sure that Andrias would use it to destroy The Core, fulfill his own destiny, and fully redeem himself in one fell swoop.

Uh, Hop Pop? Looking from space, yeah, your world is round.

The battle with The Core's defenses: LOVE the No Big Deal remix. But I'm not a huge anime fan, so... mixed bag?

Love how Andrias is trying to help, even though he knows he can't really do much at this point.

Andrias's line "Something I should've done a long time ago: standing up to you!" Absolutely reminded me of when Anne said it to Sasha. I guess Andrias is supposed to be a reflection of... what Anne could become? Maybe? Hey, Andrias... Anne... Anne-drias? Was that supposed to be a hint? Between that and the blue color of Andrias's skin... man, two new post ideas and we're barely a quarter through the episode!

OK, hang on. If The Core just called itself "a god," then why did Sasha say "I swear to frog" moments later? It makes no sense from a censorship point of view.

I guess, if The Core really was destroyed when Anne used the stones against it, its worst fear never actually came to pass. It was never useless or irrelevant. Well, maybe useless for a few minutes there while it was ramming the moon into Amphibia, but never irrelevant.

"Just a watcher. A viewer. I'm... not in the demographic though." That's... actually a great way to break the 4th wall, to have an immortal being say this.

"Would you believe after about 10,000 years, you're the only individual who used that power for good?" No, no I would not believe that, actually. There are at least two others.

The rest of the episode after the final good byes was the actual post-finale, so not as much to go on here.

I really, really, REALLY wanted to see Amphibia progress to become technologically advanced (complete with the internet so they could at least chat with their heroes on earth), but I guess I'll have to save that for my "How it should have ended" post.

I like that Bessie and Joe clearly mated and had a half-breed. That was a good twist romance because it was foreshadowed several times when Joe attempted to flirt with Bessie.

I hate that Olivia and Yunnan are together. That was a bad twist "romance" because a) it's gay and b) it was not really foreshadowed at all. I guess you could call the fight scenes they had together foreshadowing, but that's a stretch.

How did Hop Pop get the avocado to start his avocado farm? He had to throw his last one at the giant mantis. Maybe there was another one in Anne's care package?

And speaking of Hop Pop, notice how he doesn't mind being called HP now.

I can't help but notice that Marcy had a bag labeled "Happy birthday!" when it's not Anne's birthday (if the newscast is any indication). Perhaps it was Sasha's birthday that day. Or maybe, Sasha had given it to Marcy that day because it was her birthday. Either way, it's definitely not for Anne.

I was totally certain that the "BFFs" would stay together somehow. That either Marcy having gone missing made her dad reconsider the important things in life, and even if that didn't happen, that Anne and Sasha would continue to hang out. But I suppose this ending was a bit more realistic of how actual friends groups are: the three of them all changed quite a bit, and they kinda drifted apart.

Very nice touch adding the "Get lost in Amphibia!" sign at the very end. A bit hard to see, but I think that made it better.

And the credits! You can tell they put a lot of time and effort into the finale credits -- after all, they are the last thing you see in the series! Lots of info about them on the wiki, which you will hear about in yet another future post. And the rest of the credits might also get their own post someday too!

No series finale hit me as hard as Gravity Falls did, but Amphibia came in a close second. I think part of the reason for this is because GF was the first show where I was truly invested in solving the mystery.

And another part is because Amphibia just flat out gave us more episodes preparing for the finale, so some of the weight that would have hit me at the time this episode aired was already lifted. It also helped that, as I mentioned, this episode feels more like a post-finale, and All In felt like the TRUE finale. What I mean is, when we got to the last episode of GF it felt like the final battle was only just beginning, but when we got to the Amphibia finale it felt like the final battle was over.

Anyway, I don't want to go on too many tangents. This post is long enough as it is, and if I said every little thing I wanted to say in it, it would be much longer.

Thank you Amphibia!

[msiconoclast]

Again - Chapter 1

Pairing: Jaebeom x Reader

Genre: romance, angst

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:  Lim Jaebeom was the single most significant part of your college experience.  A chance encounter brings you together again many years later when you’ve both settled into your careers (Jaebeom is a music producer and Y/N is a journalist).  As you take a walk down memory lane, you reflect on your understanding of love and its many trials.  Some loves are meant to make you grow, and some are meant to help you heal.   And some are destined to be both.

A/N: Whew, this took longer than I expected.  Enjoy!  Read the prologue first if you haven’t yet: Again - Prologue

-----------------------------------------------------

Lim Jaebeom first showed up in your life the summer after sophomore year.  You were nineteen at the time and life was still full of glorious possibilities. 

Before you learned his name, he had been "hoodie guy from film class". 

Hoodie guy almost always showed up to class late, often with dark circles under his eyes that looked like they'd been there for days.  His usual attire of oversized hoodie, shorts, and sandals suggested that he'd probably just rolled out of bed and come straight to class.  He would inevitably fall asleep in the back row and start snoring at some point during lecture.  You had to physically move to the front just to block out the noise and catch what the prof was saying.

Yet somehow, he managed to be the professor's favorite student.  

The thing is, when he wasn't nodding off, hoodie guy was apparently Ebert incarnate.  He was usually quiet but whenever the class discussion came to a halt, he would always make a comment that somehow managed to cut straight to the heart of the film.  The class would give collective pause over his flash of brilliance and then resume in excited debate in a new enlightened direction.  On the few occasions when the professor decided to read out excerpts from written assignments, you knew.....you just knew that they were always from hoodie guy's papers by the smirk on his face.

In other words....the guy was annoying as hell.

Look, you loved movies and film class was sacred.  It was one of the few classes you actually enjoyed outside of your major.  How dare this guy just waltz into class in his pajamas and proceed to wax philosophical on “French New Wave” while the rest of you barely understood what the films were trying to convey?  Was he some kind of silver screen idiot savant?  More importantly, why was he trying to ruin the curve for everyone?!

Needless to say, by the time the semester ended, you were more than done with hoodie guy’s antics.  If you were to never see him again, that would be absolutely perfect.

Life, unfortunately, had other plans for you.

As spring eased into summer, you decided to take a job at Joe's on Third to supplement your non-paid internship at the local paper.  Joe's was your home away from home as a student.  Cozy and airy, it had the perfect ambiance and was never too packed.  As a bonus, they served a mean grilled cheese among a small menu of comfort food classics and you would get fed every day you worked there.  It was going to be tough balancing the two jobs but all things considered, it wasn’t a bad deal at all.

When you showed up at seven for your first day at Joe's, the place was still empty.  The only sound came from behind the counter where someone was grinding coffee beans.  A tall figure with an enviable head of hair was rustling around getting the goods ready before the morning rush.  As you got closer, you noticed that he had more than a few piercings, one in particular under his right eye.  You never really found facial piercings to be attractive on men but there was something oddly intriguing about the look on him.  It gave him an air of nonchalance.  A rebel without a cause.

He was so concentrated on his tasks that he didn't notice you until you tapped on the counter in front of him.

"Shit....oh...."  It took him a moment to collect his thoughts until a look of recognition registered in his face.  "You’re Y/N?  I'm Jaebeom.  Call me JB.  Joe said I'm supposed to set you up on your first day."  

Hoodie Guy?

The second he opened his mouth, it dawned on you that this was no stranger.  Though you never cared to study his face, you had memorized hoodie guy's voice by heart.  And while this clean shaven, well dressed man in front of you looked nothing like the guy who always buried his face in his hoodies, the voice was unmistakable.    

"Intro to World Cinema.  Were you the one who got the only A in class??"

Confused, he raised his eyebrows and tried again.  "Uh, I'm supposed to get you trained on your first day and make sure you can..."

"I'm asking if you were in Intro to World Cinema last semester?  Didn't you always wear a hoodie to class and nap in the back row?  Were you the jerk who ruined the curve for everyone and got the only A on the final paper?

He stared at you as if you were nuts.  But you didn't really expect him to protest innocence.

"I was in that class too and would've gotten an A if it weren't for you!  Instead I got a B+.  First B+ in two years of school!!"  The words flew out of your mouth before you could catch yourself.  Oh, you knew it was petty but your indignation had been brewing for weeks.

He squinted his eyes and continued to stare at you.

Ding! 

Somewhere in the back, a toaster went off.  This seemed to snap him out of his trance and you watched as confusion dissolved into amusement on his face. 

He cleared his throat: "Well...Miss B+....we got twenty minutes until open.  If you want to keep this job, I suggest you get going and put all the baked goods out." 

Not waiting for you to respond, he turned towards the kitchen. 

Just before disappearing into the back, he suddenly swung around and grinned`: "Yeah, I got the A.  And you were the girl with the pencil hair bun who always sat in the front."

So he did recognize you.

Asshole.

The first week of your new job breezed by without much of a hitch.  You'd worked restaurant jobs before and a cafe was a piece of cake by comparison.  What surprised you was how efficient JB was at the job.  You just couldn't stitch together the image of him snoring in class with how professional he appeared at the cafe.  Not only was he efficient, he also seemed to be preternaturally friendly towards everyone who walked in.  Loud teenagers, moms with screaming babies, post-breakup girls drowning in their brownie-a-la-mode, he handled each and every one of them with calm and kindness.  Yet, you wouldn't exactly call him a "people person" since he never voluntarily took up small talk with anyone nor did he socialize much with the other staff.  It seemed that JB simply existed comfortably in the backdrop of the cafe’s inviting atmosphere and treated everyone with the same distant warmth.  

After the awkward initial encounter with JB, you maintained a precarious distance towards each other.  You were still reeling from the embarrassment of your outburst, and he must have decided to steer clear of stirring up the "crazy" in you again.  In fact, he treated you just like any other member of the staff, as if the incident never happened.  If anything, you two developed a satisfying partnership of sorts.  When the cafe was busy, you teamed up to keep the orders moving and the kitchen hot.  When there was a lull, you gave each other plenty of space.  You would work on your articles for the paper while he pranced around behind the counter scribbling down notes on little pieces of paper.

Mid-afternoons were usually the slowest at the cafe.  You savored these moments when time seemed to pass by as slowly as dust particles that swayed in the summer sun.  It gave you a strange sense of privacy even if you were sitting in a cafe full of people.   Sometimes, when you were feeling really wild, you'd stealthily switch the cafe jazz that droned on in the background to your favorite soundtracks.  None of the cafe patrons seemed to mind as long as it was something mellow.  The one person who did take note though was JB.  

"Is that 'Before Sunrise'?"   Um hum.

"That sounds like 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'?"  Yup.

"Oh, 'Midnight in Paris'.  The gypsy jazz is cool."   Totally...

Either this guy had seen every movie under the sun or you two just happened to have very similar tastes.  What was most curious was the fact that these were all movies that any other guy would scoff as “chick flicks”.   Not the type of entertainment that you’d expect a “rebel without a cause“ to seek out.

"So did you actually watch all of these movies?"  You had to ask him one afternoon.

"Hmm......yeah."  He waved one of the little pieces of paper he was scribbling on: "They help me with my songwriting.  I......heh, need inspiration and I like movies that provide different perspectives on the concept of love. "

So that's what he had been working on.  Song lyrics.  You weren’t entirely surprised since half of the population in LA were trying to make it in Entertainment in one way or another.

"Why do people write so many love songs anyways?  Loneliness is totally underrated."

"Because almost any emotion that music can express can be related to love.  It's universal." he said

"Yeah?  And what have you learned about love in all your movie-watching and song-writing experience?”

"The heart's not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love."

“Her”.  Nice..... another sentimental fool.

The best thing about working at Joe's was the weekly closing party.  Every Friday night, the staff would string up lights around the back patio and put on a little dance party while closing the cafe down.  It was an unspoken rule that whatever bottles of wine were open by the end of the week was a free for all for the party and the beer taps were open until dry.  Quite a nice little perk for the employees. 

You had always enjoyed yourself at these parties.  Most of the part time staff were kids who went to the same school, people you had seen around campus.  It was where the staff really got to know each other and sometimes, got their hands on each other.  And it didn't take long for everyone to get comfortable and really let loose.  It was also funny to see how people changed when they were drunk.  The shy introverted ones would surprisingly become super hyper while the normally outgoing ones often ended up bawling their eyes out in the corner by the end of the night.  Nothing short of human theater.

The first couple of times you'd joined, you were still careful not to drink too much.  You wanted to make a good impression and actually get to know everyone.  But by the fourth closing party, you were well on your way to earning the title of dancing queen.  See, alcohol also had an intriguing effect on you.  It helped you break out of your usually calm shell but it also had a tendency to make you more than a little flirty.  And on this particular night, you were definitely feeling the love. 

The theme for the night was 90s jams and you had been showing off your moves on top of one of the patio tables for the last 45 minutes.  But it was nearing midnight now and most people were either too drunk or too tired to be dancing and you were starting to feel the early signs of a crash yourself.  It was then the bass thumping hip hop switched over to a slow and smooth R&B song that you had never heard before.  There was something seductive about the way the singer cooed out the words.

"Girl it's only you

Have it your way

And if you want you can decide

And if you'll have me

I can provide everything that you desire

Said if you get a feeling

Feeling that I am feeling

Won't you come closer to me baby,

You've already got me right where you want me baby

I just want to be your man

How does it feel

How does it feel

Said I want to know how does it feel

How does it feel

How does it feel"

As you spun around on the table, you noticed a pair of gaze that fixed steadily on you as you swayed your hips slowly to the beat.  You couldn't make out the expression on his face but there was an intensity in his gaze that made your body heat up.  The thought that you had a captured audience turned you on and prompted you to run your hands across your body.  As you felt your body heat up more and more, you reached for the glass nearby and took out an ice cube.  You desperately needed to cool down.  Holding the ice cube in your mouth for a second, you then started to run it against your skin.  Trails of ice water trickled down your neck, your collarbone and pooled where your cleavage had shown through your shirt.  The song was pushing towards a crescendo and the singer's falsetto was ringing in your head.  It grew louder and louder until the lights started to spin. 

Dizziness took over.  Suddenly, you felt yourself lose your balance and stumble towards the ground.

Black.

And the next time you opened your eyes, a familiar face was just inches above you.  The owner of the gaze had his arms propped up beneath you while they supported your weight.

You could feel his breath on your face and for what seemed like an eternity, you simply stared at each other.

Finally, you ended the silence by flashing him the brightest smile you could muster and pointing at his nose: "I forgive you!!!...Hoodie guy!"

The corners of his mouth curved up. 

"You're pretty cute, B+."  He chuckled.

Previous      Next

[minijenn]

Universe Falls, Chapter 80, Part 2

AHAHAHAH AND SO IT FUCKING CONTINUES. But yeah Memories is a roller coaster ride of feels and ya’ll get ready to board by bringing the tissues along cause oof. There’s a lot in here. Even so, I LOVE how it turned out so I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy! (but don’t actually read it on here, read it on Ao3 please!!!! (also review, reviews are nice ^_^) 

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/621740517506564096/universe-falls-chapter-80-part-1

***

Chapter 80, Part 2: Memories 

ZX LPH XNG BRCTV WSVIH QYK FHA ZCSNK GIXILVJ HRT EEXWL WRPXKWKIS SMWXXVTCX GDTGTH AYG AI XH LRK VSBT YEVHRT

“Who?”

The question hung on the air for what seemed like ages, echoing through it to the point that it seemed to obscure everything else, even the dull flow of the fountain behind him. Stepper’s already palpable confusion expanded upon seeing the dumbfounded stares Mabel, Garnet, and Pearl alike were all sending his way, almost as if his simple question was one that none of them had the faintest idea how to answer. 

Eventually though, Mabel was finally the first to break the silence, letting out a rather harsh, forced laugh as she kept her gaze on the fusion’s face rather than his still-damaged gemstone. “Ha! Good one, you guys!” she chuckled a bit too loudly, knowing that no one else was partaking in her levity. “You know, I usually love a good joke, but now’s not really the time to be kidding around, so…?”

“I’m… not kidding,” Stepper frowned, raising a curious eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s kidding, Mabel? I mean, come on, since when have I been a fusion?”

“S-since... always…” Pearl spoke up, her hands pressed close to her chest as she trembled slightly. “C-certainly, you must… h-how could you not-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected, her voice a bit firmer than the white Gem’s, though it was clear she was every bit as shaken. “You must be confused after what you went through. You are a fusion. Between Steven Universe and Dipper Pines. You know that.”

“I… really don’t, because I’m not,” Stepper shook his head incredulously. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was a fusion. And if I was, I’d at least know who I was a fusion of to begin with, right?”

“B-but that doesn’t make any sense!” Mabel exclaimed, distraught as she grabbed onto one of the fusion’s lower arms. “Of course you know Steven and Dipper! You have to know them! They are you!”

“Um, I think that’s sort of impossible,” Stepper crossed his upper arms. “I’m me. And besides, I’ve never even met or heard of any Steven or Dipper. Are they friends of yours, Mabel?”

“Yes!” Mabel huffed, frustrated. “More than just friends! Dipper, you’re my twin brother! Steven, you’re one of my best friends! And Stepper, you’re both of them! They’re you! You have to remember them! Y-you can’t just forget who you are! You’re-”

“Mabel,” Garnet suddenly quieted her, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder just as a heavy sob finally escaped her. Stepper was admittedly startled by it, a rush of guilt he couldn’t quite place filling him as he noticed the tears steadily streaming down her cheeks as she resigned herself to Garnet’s consoling embrace. 

“I-I… I’m sorry,” he said earnestly, despite his still very palpable confusion. “I-I didn’t mean to upset any of you, I just… really have no idea what you guys are talking about.”

None of the others had any idea how to respond to this as they all looked to the fusion, equally forlorn. Mabel’s tears were still plentiful and by now Pearl had taken on a few of her own as she quietly covered her mouth and glanced away. Garnet kept her sights set on Stepper meanwhile, essentially begging her future vision to give her some kind of insight as to what might have happened to him only to receive none at all. 

It wasn’t long before this bout of solemn silence was broken by the chime of the warp pad on the other side of the garden. With its bright light, Amethyst appeared, having followed Garnet’s command to retrieve Stan and Ford as both of them rushed after her to check on the fusion with a shared sense of intent concern. 

“There you boys are!” Ford let out an allayed sigh as he approached Stepper. “What a relief it is to see you’re both alright.”

“Ford-” Pearl attempted to interject, though Stan cut her off before she could say anything else. 

“You two kids had us worried sick!” he exclaimed adamantly, though it was clear his frustration came from a place of caring. “What the heck is wrong with you, running off like that on your own for three days?!”

“What?” Stepper asked, not able to recall anything of the sort. 

“Uh, well, actually, they kinda got sucked into some crazy dimensional portal, remember?” Amethyst pointed out.

“A portal that led to the Nightmare Realm, no less!” Ford shook his head incredulously. “You both are incredibly lucky to have somehow found a way back, much less survived in that despicable wasteland against, well... you know who.”

“Um, I don’t--Augh!” Stepper stopped himself short with a startled gasp as the author suddenly shined a bright flashlight directly into his eyes. The fusion was quick to cover them as the others were all quick to turn to Ford to demand an explanation for such a bizarre, untimely move. 

“Ford! What’s the matter with you? What are you tryin’ to do?! Blind the poor kids?!” Stan yelled, sending his brother a harsh glare as he placed a supportive hand against the fusion’s back.

“No, of course not,” Ford scoffed, putting his flashlight away. “I was just… checking something.” He paused for a moment, glancing to Garnet and Pearl as he spoke to them specifically. “Fortunately it seems as though Bill didn’t manage to hitch a ride back through him. But… his gem… Amethyst did mention it was cracked; have you placed him in the fountain yet?”

“Y-yes…” Pearl nodded. “B-but we have no idea why it’s still cracked. Though… perhaps it could explain the apparent issue with his memories…”

“His memories?” Stan spoke up. “What’s the matter with his memories?”

“Nothing, I-” Stepper began, though once again, before he could get much out he was cut off. 

“G-Grunkle Stan,” Mabel rushed over to the conman, hugging his leg tightly, tearfully as she refused to so much as look at Stepper this time. “H-he… he said he doesn’t know who Dipper and Steven are! He said… h-he doesn’t even think he’s a fusion… T-that he isn’t them…”

Stan and Ford were both stunned into silence upon hearing this, their wide-eyed sights settling on Stepper, who was unsure of how to meet them. Unsure of how to meet any of the several sets of eyes all watching him expectantly, searching him for answers he knew he didn’t have for them. 

All the same, he let out a startled gasp as Stan suddenly grabbed him by his vest, pulling him a bit down to his level as he hissed at him threateningly. “You said what?”

“Stan!” Garnet suddenly shouted, pulling the frightened fusion away from the conman as she placed herself before him protectively. “Leave him alone. What’s happened to him is not his fault.”

“Well, then who’s fault is it?” Stan asked, glaring at the Gem leader coldly. 

“Certainly, it must be Bill’s,” Ford said, his tone grave and scornful.

“...Who?” the conman raised an oblivious eyebrow. 

“Oh for crying out loud…” Ford sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had my journals all these years, Stanley. How could you not know a single thing about Bill Cipher? Dream demon? Usurper of the Nightmare Realm? My primary nemesis, since-”

“Wait,” Stan interrupted as he narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Your nemesis? So you’re sayin’ this Cipher guy has a bone to pick with you… so he took it out on Dipper and Steven?!”

Ford flinched, caught off guard by the sudden fury peaking in the conman’s tone. “T-that… I… I don’t know, I-I wasn’t there to-”

The author was sharply cut off by a sudden blow directly to his jaw. He stumbled back from his brother’s heavy punch, collapsing against one of the fountain’s lower statues of Rose as the Gems, Mabel, and Stepper alike all gasped in apt surprise by this sudden act of violence. “What did I tell you, Ford?!” Stan shouted, absolutely furious as he gripped the stunned author by the collar of his sweater. “What did I say about getting the kids involved in your messes?!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Stanley!” Ford shoved the conman back hard. “Bill doesn’t just have it out for me, he has it out for the Gems, for the kids, for everyone on this planet! This isn’t about you or me!”

“That’s right,” Garnet stepped between the brothers, pushing them apart to create some distance amidst their rising tension. “It’s not. This is about Stepper.”

At this, everyone turned their attention to the fusion once more. All four of his hands were drawn close to him, his eyes wide and worried as he took a small step forward to address Stan and Ford in particular. “I-I… don’t know why you guys are fighting,” he began rather timidly. “But please, don’t. You all seem so sad and angry, and… I don’t really understand why, but I wish I did so I could help somehow.” 

“I-I think I know how you can help!” Mabel piped up urgently. “You can unfuse! I-if you’re just Steven and Dipper again, then there’s no way you won’t be able to remember them because you’ll be them again! It’s that easy!”

“Well, if you think that would help, I’d be happy to do that, it’s just…” Stepper sighed as he placed a hand against the back of his neck. “I… don’t think I can unfuse? Like I said before, I’m not a fusion, so… yeah.”

“For the love of Newton, this is far worse than I could have imagined…” Ford muttered, immensely concerned.

“You’re telling me,” Stan remarked, aptly baffled. “The kid’s completely lost it!”

“Well, he’s certainly lost something…” Pearl added, shaking her head remorsefully. 

“Let’s go back to the temple,” Garnet said, her tone unreadable as she led the way back to the warp pad. “We’ll be able to make more sense of all this there…. Hopefully.”

Though it only took the span of less than five minutes for the group to warp back to the temple, during the short trip, Mabel happened to notice three very specific things about Stepper that no one else really had pointed out yet against everything else. First was his clothes, once torn and tattered thanks to whatever Bill had done to him in the Nightmare Realm, now repaired to pristine condition thanks to Rose’s fountain. And yet, two prominent pieces were missing: the blue pine tree on his hat and the yellow star on his shirt, both markers, both symbols of who the fusion really was, gone just as much as his memory of the two boys that usually wore them seemed to be. Second were his eyes, a far cry from the usual shade of mostly-matched violet brown Stepper was known to have whenever he was around. Instead, they were pink, bright, bold, and undeniably pink, to the point that his irises were practically glowing with it as they sparkled in the light. But third was what was lying just behind those eyes, a sense of innocence, of oblivious unknowing, so unlike the sharp, eager awareness that had once been there instead. Just another worrying sign that something was off, something was so incredibly wrong that even Stepper himself didn’t understand what that something was. 

“Well, there’s gotta be some way to split them up, right?” Amethyst began as everyone congregated around the couch. “Oh! I got it! If he doesn’t know how to split up on his own, then maybe we can just do it for them!”

“D-do what?” Stepper flinched, especially as Amethyst pulled her whip out. 

“We’ll be doing no such thing!” Pearl scolded. “With his gem cracked like that, there’s no telling what Stepper being forcibly split up--or splitting up in general really--could do to Steven and Dipper! Nevermind the fact that he can’t even remember either of them to begin with…”

“S-so… Stepper is just… stuck like this?” Mabel asked fretfully from her spot on the couch right next to the confused fusion. 

“Stuck how?” he asked, though once again he received no direct answer. 

“Yes,” Garnet replied, her arms crossed and her tone rigid as she averted her gaze away from Stepper almost purposefully. “For now.”

“But hopefully not for long,” Ford said, resolved. “Now, to properly solve this problem, the best thing to do is to get to the bottom of what’s actually wrong here.”

“Oh wow, great plan there, poindexter,” Stan deadpanned dryly. “Never could’ve come up with something like that on our own. What genius thinking.”

Ford largely ignored his brother’s sardonic remarks as he instead took a step forward, pulling a pad of paper out so he could jot down some notes. “Alright, Stepper, why don’t we start with you? Since you don’t seem to remember anything about Steven or Dipper or being a fusion, what are you able to remember off the top of your head?”

“Oh,” Stepper blinked, surprised that someone was actually giving him a chance to speak his own piece for a change. “Well… let’s see… I remember meeting all of you, and fighting Peridot’s robots in the woods-”

“Yeah?” Mabel asked, suddenly hopeful at the recollection of a memory from weeks ago now.

“Then there was the time you wanted to research my shield journal,” Stepper said, keeping his focus on Ford before turning it over to Mabel. “Oh! And then we fused!”

“Yeah! Into Dipevebel!” Mabel grinned, gripping the fusion’s arm excitedly. 

“Right,” Stepper nodded with a smile. “Then there was that street race we were part of and… um… I… think that’s it? I can’t really remember anything else until I woke up in that fountain a few minutes ago.”

“Nothing?” Amethyst asked, dumbfounded. “Not even anything about how your gem got all busted up like that?”

“No,” the fusion shook his head, frowning as he glanced down at his damaged gemstone. “Do any of you know how it happened?”

The others fell silent at this, dread filling their expressions as they realized just how blissfully unaware of the immense trauma he’d just been through he really was. They would have preferred to keep him unaware on that particular front too, if not for the fact that the rest of his memories had faded along with the knowledge of what had taken them away from him in the first place. “Stepper, you’ve… been trapped in the Nightmare Realm for the past three days,” Pearl began to explain as carefully as she could. “We can only assume that it was there that Bill got ahold of you and caused grave damage to your gem a-and your memories.”

For the longest time, Stepper said nothing in response to this, his expression still lacking any sort of real understanding, which became even more apparent when he voiced that lack aloud. “Bill? Who’s that?”

“Y-you… you’re kidding, right?” Amethyst asked, baffled. “You know, Bill Cipher? Crazy talking one-eyed triangle? Tried killing all of us, like a bunch of times? Hijacked Dipper’s body once and wants to steal Steven’s gem? None of that’s ringing a bell for you?”

“N-no…” Stepper admitted apprehensively. “But… whoever he is, he sounds like a really bad guy.”

“‘Bad’ is certainly an understatement when it comes to Bill... “ Ford muttered disdainfully. 

“So the kid doesn’t remember who he’s made of,” Stan spoke up impatiently. “He doesn’t remember how it all happened, he doesn’t seem to really remember much of anything! Are we sure this isn’t some weird sort of amnesia situation?”

“O-or maybe he’s just been fused for such a long time that he’s lost himself…?” Pearl proposed. “Oh, but that wouldn’t make any sense, he’s only been fused for three days at most, after all.”

“It’s not entirely impossible though,” Ford pointed out. “Time moves differently in the Nightmare Realm than it does here in our dimension. It’s unpredictable, non-linear. What’s a few mere hours there could be days here, and vice versa, so there’s really no telling how long Stepper’s stint there might have been for him. Especially now that he doesn’t seem to remember it in the slightest.”

“Ugh, who cares about any of that?” Amethyst huffed indignantly. “How are we gonna fix this mess?!”

“Until Stepper regains his memories, there isn’t much of a chance that we can,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades. “He’s the only one who can tell us what happened after all. Well, aside from Bill, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d rather not hear it from him.”

“But we don’t even know how he lost his memories in the first place!” Pearl bemoaned fretfully. “How can we go about restoring them if we don’t even know what happened to them?”

From there, a round of debate over this problem broke out, with everyone largely talking over each other as they tried to form a cohesive plan of action. Amidst all this, Stepper sat in silence, trying his best to listen and understand a conversation that kept on going in endless circles, one that concerned him, yet he didn’t entirely know how. He knew well by now that the others were all upset, worried, angry, and afraid, but the reason why was beyond him, a reason obscured by names and events he didn’t know, things he couldn’t comprehend, no matter how hard he tried. At the very least, he could tell there was one thing they all agreed on: they wanted to help him, even if he wasn’t sure he even needed such help at all. 

At the same time, Mabel lingered close by the fusion’s side, her focus dedicated to him rather than the ongoing argument between the Gems and her uncles. The heightened, perhaps even petty tensions between them didn’t matter to her in the slightest; nothing did really, not as long as something was wrong with Stepper, as long as something was wrong with Steven and Dipper. And while everyone else debated over whatever logical, scientific, or brute force plans they could think of, Mabel began to develop one of her own, one based not on the many things they didn’t know about this daunting situation. But instead, a plan based on what she did know about her brother and her best friend. 

“Everyone, hold on a sec!” she shouted as she suddenly jumped onto the coffee table to grab everyone’s attention. “I’ve got an idea, and it’s a good one too!”

While a handful of the others took pause, exchanging an uncertain glance at this, Garnet was the first to prompt her onward. “Go ahead.”

“Ok, so you guys said we won’t be able to fix Stepper’s gem until he splits up first, right?” Mabel began, her tone intent and determined. “And Stepper can’t split up until he remembers who Steven and Dipper are? So that’s where we should start!” She grinned as she spun back around to face the fusion behind her. “By reminding you of who you’re made of!”

“But Mabel,” Stepper said with a small, exasperated sigh. “I’ve already told you, I can’t split up because I’m not a fusion.”

“You are a fusion, and I can prove it!” Mabel retorted, hands on her hips. “First of all, if you’re not a fusion, then why do you have four arms?”

“Uh… well…” Stepper trailed off with a frown as he looked down at his substantial set of hands.

“And how do you explain how you only remember three totally different days before now?” 

“I-I… I just…”

“And out of those three days, how come you only remember a few things about them?”

Stepper interrupted her with another heavy sigh, a hand placed against his now aching head as it struggled to fill in the gaps she kept suggesting to him. “L-Look, I get that not a lot of things are adding up here, but… I still don’t think I’m a fusion. And like I said before, I don’t know who… what were their names again? Sipper and Deven?” 

“Dipper and Steven,” Mabel corrected urgently. 

“Dipper and Steven,” Stepper repeated, the names sounding completely forign to him even as he said them aloud. “I don’t know who either of them are. And if I don’t know them, then how can I possibly be them?” 

“But you are them!” Mabel protested, practically to the point of pleading. “Here, I’ll show you.” With this, she rushed up onto Steven’s bedroom loft, finding his phone lying by his bed quite easily before she rushed it back to the fusion downstairs. “Look! Look at them!” she pulled up one of the many selfies Steven had taken of himself and Dipper, one from not too terribly long ago. “This is Steven, and this is Dipper. Don’t you recognize them? Can’t you see how much they look like you?!”

Stepper looked between the two boys in the photo for quite a long time, not a single sign of recognition showing up in his face even now that he could see some sort of depiction of his two apparent halves for himself. “N-no,” he said with a sad, yet honest frown. “I… I don’t know them. Either of them.” He hesitated in saying anything else, especially as he noticed tears starting to well up in Mabel’s eyes again, her expression overwhelmed with returning grief that she was trying her hardest to force away for his sake. “Mabel, I-I… I’m sorry.”

In an instant, Mabel rushed to wipe her tears away, pulling her shoulder away from the comforting grip Garnet attempted to put on it. “I-it’s ok,” she said, forcing on a reassuring smile. “Because we’re gonna figure this out. Looking at a picture is one thing, but maybe jogging your memories of them might work even better!”

“Uh, how are you gonna do that?” Amethyst asked, mirroring everyone else’s confusion at this plan. 

“I think you mean how are we gonna do that,” Mabel grinned confidently. “Even though Stepper might not know who Steven and Dipper are, that doesn’t mean we don’t! Same goes for everyone else who knows them. Plus, I don’t wanna brag, but we just so happen to have a bona-fide expert when it comes to Dipper here, someone who happens to have known him our entire lives…” Her smile grew as she pointed to herself proudly. 

“Oh! And we’ve known Steven for his entire life!” Pearl added with a newfound grin. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Mabel nodded zealously. “So between all of us, we can fill in all the gaps and remind Stepper who he’s really supposed to be so he can finally unfuse again!”

“But, Mabel,” Stepper attempted to protest in the hopes of voicing his own thoughts about this plan. “I-”

“Shh, it’s ok,” Mabel quieted him, cutting him off in the process. “There’s nothing you need to worry about, Ste-bro. We’ve all got this. We’ve got you.”

Stepper simply let out a resigned sigh at this, realizing once again that the chance for him to even get a simple word of edgewise had been ripped away from him. So instead, he remained quietly sitting on the sidelines while everyone else continued to discuss what they believed was best for him, what they believed he should remember, even if those were memories he knew he didn’t even have to begin with. 

“It’s a… novel idea, Mabel, but… I fear it might be too simple,” Ford noted with a frown. “After all, we’re still not even sure what Bill did to his memories, much less how to get them back. The case could be made that this is all connected to the crack in his gem, but-”

“Will you shut up already, Ford?” Stan asked with a disgruntled scowl. “The kid’s come up with just about the only actual plan I’ve heard thrown around here could actually have a shot at working. I say we give it a try.”

“Same here,” Garnet agreed. “It’s far better than doing nothing.”

“Yeah, but could it actually work?” Amethyst asked with an uncertain frown. 

Garnet shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” she said, finally mustering a smile for Mabel to show her confidence in her plan. 

“Well, I suppose in the meantime we could always continue looking further into the situation to see if there’s anything else we can do,” Pearl suggested. “J-just in case, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Mabel surprisingly agreed. “You guys can keep looking at the sciency/Gem side of things, while I take over as the first official self-appointed Memory Captain?”

“Memory Captain?” Stepper spoke up, raising a confused eyebrow. 

“Yeah, ya know, cause I’m putting myself in charge of getting you your memories back, Ste-bro,” she grinned back at him. 

“Oh,” Stepper took a brief, tentative glance down. “Mabel, I-I don’t-”

“I know, I know, you don’t know what to say,” Mabel said with a knowing wave of her hand. “That’s fine, you can always thank me after you remember everything. Now come on,” she enthusiastically grabbed the fusion’s hand, pulling him off the couch as she headed for the door. “We’ve got a lot of work to do to get you back to normal.”

“Yes…” Ford muttered, fretfully looking over his notes as the pair headed out on their endeavor. An endeavor that had really no guarantee of working when it came to setting things right. “It seems as though we all do…”

“Ok, so you remember the day you first fused, fighting Peri’s robots… the time we fused… and when we raced Kevin and his friends… but you don’t remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm... did I get that all right?” Mabel asked, trying to make mental notes as the pair made their way down the hill toward the shack.

“Yeah, but I don’t really see what the big deal is?” Stepper shrugged. “I mean, those are all the things that have ever happened to me, right?”

“Those are all the things that have happened to Stepper…” Mabel mused with a dawning realization. 

“Yeah, which… is me,” Stepper nodded, silently wishing that everyone would stop referring to him as if he wasn’t actually present at all. 

“So, you only remember what’s happened while you were you,” Mabel continued down her newfound train of thought. “While you were fused! So… does that mean… you don’t remember anything that happened before this summer?!”

“I… don’t know. What happened before this summer?”

“Everything!” Mabel cried, spinning around to face him with a desperate, shaken expression. “Our whole lives! Dipper and me growing up together in Piedmont, Steven living here with the Gems. You have two entire lives that you just… don’t even remember anymore…”

Stepper wasn’t sure what to say to this as he glanced down apprehensively. Even if he felt far out of the loop in regards to what Mabel was saying, if there was one thing he did understand, it was that he hated seeing her so dejected and despondent. “Hey,” his voice was gentle as he knelt down to her level. “I may not really get what’s going on here with all of this memory stuff, a-and I may not know who… y-your two friends are. But, at least I still know you. Isn’t that enough?”

Mabel stilled, her pressing tears frozen from falling as she looked to the fusion with another wave of painful realization. “S-Stepper… do you know who I am to you?” she asked, almost scared to hear the answer. 

“O-of course I do,” Stepper stood, though even as he did his expression betrayed his bewilderment. “Y-you’re… um… I… you… you’re… someone really important to me…”

“Yeah, but how?” Mabel pressed. “How do you know me?”

Stepper stammered, shaking his head as he pressed a hand to his head, searching for an answer he couldn’t quite find. “I-I don’t know…” he admitted, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke. “I just… do…”

Mabel forced back a mournful sob at this, yet even so she rushed in to tightly embrace the fusion, who readily returned it, a fact that only served to strike at her aching heart even more than his answer already had. “It’s ok, Ste-bro,” she assured so quietly her voice was barely even audible. “I’ll help you figure it out.”

Even though he wasn’t entirely sure why, Stepper’s first thought was to thank her for her dedication, though he didn’t get much of a chance to before their hug was interrupted as something soft suddenly bumped into him from behind. “Huh?” he relinquished his hold on Mabel, turning to find the large pink beast standing behind him. “Ah! W-what is that thing?!” he exclaimed fearfully, rushing to take cover behind Mabel. 

“Uh, that’s just Lion,” Mabel said, stepping over to scratch the pink beast behind the ear. 

“Y-yeah, I know it’s a lion,” Stepper said, all four of his arms held in front of him defensively as he looked to Lion incredulously. “But why is it here? And why is it pink?”

“Wait,” Mabel frowned, pausing briefly to quiet Lion’s sudden quiet growling before she turned back to the fusion. “You mean… you don’t remember Lion either?”

“Uh, I’ve never seen that thing before,” Stepper said anxiously. “I’m pretty sure I would remember a huge pink lion.”

“But… Lion’s your…” Mabel trailed off before letting out a soft, stunned gasp. “Stepper’s never met Lion before…” she whispered, largely to herself. She was quick to shake the pressing thought of what or who else he might not remember away, instead taking the fusion by the hand once more to expedite their trip down to the Mystery Shack. “Come on,” she said, her tone rather solemn as they continued onward. “It looks like you’ve got more remembering to do than I thought…”

It didn’t take very long for the pair to reach the shack, with Lion trailing not too far behind them as he kept a close, somewhat distrustful watch on Stepper all the while. The fusion returned that watch, unsure of what the pink beast might do, even though Mabel assured him several times over that he was completely tame. Still, Lion was content enough to wait outside as Stepper and Mabel ventured inside the shack through the gift shop, though in doing so, they happened to encounter their pair of employees waiting around inside. 

“Oh! Mabel, you’re finally back!” Soos greeted with a smile as he took a break from sweeping. “How’s it goin’, hambone? Did you guys finally find Dipper and Steven?”

“From the looks of it, I’d say they did,” Wendy said, allayed as Stepper entered right behind Mabel. 

“Ah ah ah, correction, Wendy; that’s Stepper,” Soos pointed out. 

“Finally, someone gets it,” Stepper sighed somewhat wearily before he offered the pair a casual wave. “Hey, Soos. Hey, Wendy. What’s up?”

“Whaaaa?!” Mabel gasped, looking at the fusion in awe at this. “You remember Soos and Wendy but you don’t remember Lion?!”

“Uh… yeah, I guess?” Stepper said, still not sure of what the significance of that fact was. 

Though Mabel was baffled into silence at this, Soos and Wendy had their fair share of questions from the very start. “Whoa, hold on,” Wendy started first. “What do you mean remember?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t Stepper remember us?” Soos inquired, just as curious. “I mean, I know he’s a totally awesome Gem fusion, but he’s still Steven and Dipper, right?”

“Ugh… and there it is again…” Stepper muttered, crossing his lower arms upon hearing this bizarre claim once more. 

“Yeah, but… he’s the only one who doesn’t really think so anymore…” Mabel sighed sadly. “He doesn’t remember either of them. Or that he’s even a fusion at all…”

“What?!” Soos and Wendy exclaimed in shared alarm, both of them looking to Stepper in apt worry as they unloaded their flood of questions at a hectic pace. 

“So he doesn’t remember who he is? Dude…”

“What happened to him?”

“But he remembered us, so… what’s that all about?”

“Oh my gosh! Look at his gem! Who did that?”

“Does that hurt? Is he gonna be ok?”

“H-hey, I am ok,” Stepper finally spoke up to stem the tide of questions he had no answers for. “We’re-”

“We’re gonna get to the bottom of this and fix it,” Mabel cut him off, grabbing his arm once more as she began leading him through the gift shop. 

“Well, if you need any help, just ask,” Wendy offered firmly. 

“Yeah, anything for Steven and Dipper, dude,” Soos solidly agreed. 

But nothing for me, I guess… Stepper thought, not even bothering to voice the notion aloud this time. 

“Thanks, you guys,” Mabel called back as she continued pulling Stepper along. “We’ll keep you posted on what happens.”

Soos and Wendy offered the pair their well wishes as they headed out, with Mabel wasting no time in rushing upstairs to the attic with Stepper following not too far behind her. “Hey, Mabel?” he began tentatively as they arrived in the bedroom. “Can we, uh… talk for a second?”

“We sure can,” Mabel replied as she began looking through her half of the room. “Just as soon as I find--aha! Here it is!” She plopped down onto the rug on the floor with her summer scrapbook, motioning for Stepper to join her so he could take a look. “My scrapbook here is bound to help you remember something. Like this!” she pointed to a picture of Steven helping Dipper look through the journal quite some time ago. “This is the first picture I took of Steven and Dipper this summer. Back when we were trying to stop that red eye thingy from crashing into Gravity Falls. You remember that?”

“No, I… don’t,” Stepper shook his head, though Mabel was quick to continue. 

“O-ok, well, you’ve gotta remember this,” she turned to a page depicting all three of them playing with what seemed to be some sort of antique mirror. “When we found that mirror Lapis was trapped in and saved her? Then we saved the lake from her? Steven healed her and she went back to space, to Homeworld! And Dipper found her when she came back and me and him saved Steven and the Gems from Jasper and Peridot! It was huge, high-stakes, really dangerous, you’ve gotta remember that!”

“Mabel, I really wish I knew what you were talking about, but I don’t,” Stepper sighed, not recognizing a single moment among the countless photos she kept showing him. 

“Malachite! There’s no way you can’t remember Malachite!” Mabel kept going almost manically. “Dipper made a deal with Bill to try to free Lapis from her fusion with Jasper but Bill possessed his body. We saved him, and then it wasn’t too long after that that the portal Grunkle Stan was hiding under the shack opened and we met Grunkle Ford for the first time. Then we caught Peridot after she fused with Bill to make Pyrite; Steven and Dipper were the ones who stopped them! Then Dipper and the Gems stopped Malachite, while Peri, Steven, and I stopped the Cluster. We all saved the day! Everything should be fine now! B-but… it’s not…” She could feel her eyes growing wet with oncoming tears once more as she forced herself to look away from the proof of their triumph. A triumph that felt all but hollow now in light of what had just been lost. 

Stepper was quick to reach out a hand to comfort her, though he stopped short upon noticing one of the several pictures decorating the page of the scrapbook they were on. The same photo Mabel had shown him earlier at the temple, one of whom she had said were Steven and Dipper themselves. 

Carefully, while Mabel was distracted, Stepper lifted the photo out of the book to get a better view of it. He studied it carefully, taking in the pair of boys depicted on it, their shared smiles warm and cheerful as they stood with their arms resting on each other's shoulders. There was no doubt that, whoever they were, they were close, best friends perhaps, though he wasn’t quite sure. And while they did bear something of a passing semblance to him in different ways, even as Stepper stared at the photo for what felt like ages, not a single thing about either of these boys so much as minutely registered in his memories. He didn’t know them. He couldn’t be them. He wasn’t them. He knew that. 

And yet… he couldn’t deny the small burst of longing emptiness that filled him when he looked at them all the same. 

“Y-you can keep that if you want to,” Mabel suddenly spoke up, noticing just how captivated the fusion was by the photo. “Maybe it might help you remember them…”

Stepper didn’t respond to this, instead keeping his sights set on her as he tucked the photo safely away inside his vest. At the same time, Mabel took in a deep, steadying breath as she closed her scrapbook, a newfound smile overtaking her expression as she stood with another new idea in mind. 

“Well, if I can’t get you to remember, then maybe we can find someone else who can,” she concluded, grinning at Stepper as he also stood up. “And I just so happen to know a handful of people who are super important to Steven and Dipper that just might be able to help.”

“But Mabel, I-”

“I know you’re worried, Ste-bro,” Mabel said, taking his lower hands in hers. “T-to be honest, I am too. But I promise you, I’m not gonna rest until you’re back to who you’re supposed to be. Now let’s get going! We’ve got places to be and people to see!”

With that, Mabel ran off, leading the way and leaving Stepper with no real choice but to follow. Still, before he did, he hesitated, taking a moment to pull the photo of Steven and Dipper out one more time as he felt another wave of what almost felt like loneliness washed over him. Loneliness and perhaps, even a bit of bitterness as well. “Who I’m supposed to be…” he repeated softly to the photo, shaking his head before he ultimately put it away.

“Kon'nichiwa! You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran. I’m currently on a week-long vacation in Japan and don’t have international coverage, which is why I’m unable to answer your call at this time. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve returned to the country. Thank you and Sayōnara!”

“Ugh, of all the times for her to be on vacation…” Mabel muttered to herself as she listened to Connie’s voicemail before leaving her message. “Uh, h-hey, Connie. H-how’s Tokyo? Um, look, we’ve kind of got a bit of a… situation going on here, so if you do somehow manage to find somewhere where you have coverage before you get back, could maybe call me back, like… as soon as possible? Thanks, bye.”

Mabel let out a sigh as she hung up just as Stepper caught up with her along the trail that led toward town “Hey, who were you talking to?” he asked, curiously. 

“Connie,” she answered, letting out a sigh of disappointment. “Or at least I was trying to talk to her… It’s sort of hard to do since she’s on the other side of the ocean right now.”

“Connie…” Stepper repeated thoughtfully. “I know her.”

“You do?!” Mabel gasped with a bit of newfound hope. 

“Yeah,” the fusion nodded. “She was there during that race, just like you were, remember?”

“N-no, Stepper, she’s...” Mabel trailed off with a small sigh. “C-Connie’s one of our best friends. The four of us: me, Dipper, Steven, and Connie, we’re the Mystery Kids. You remember being one--or two I guess, of the Mystery Kids… right?”

“Mabel, I know you want me to say yes, but-”

“I-I know,” Mabel closed her eyes, largely in an attempt at blocking away tears. “You don’t. I-its ok. We’ll figure this out.”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Stepper muttered, rubbing one of his upper arms. 

“In fact, we might figure it out right now,” Mabel perked up as they finally arrived in town. Or rather, to the car wash sitting on the nearest edge of town. “Mr. Universe!?” she called as she ran up to the former rock star’s van and knocked on its back door. “Are you home?”

Fortunately, Greg was home as he burst out of the back of the van, disheveled and exhausted after days of a largely fruitless search for his missing son. “Oh! Mabel, it’s you,” he said, running a hand through his messy locks. “A-any word on the boys yet? Have the Gems found them?”

“Well, y-yeah, sort of…” Mabel replied rather anxiously as she glanced behind her to see Stepper joining them. “But…”

“Huh?” Greg looked to Stepper, initially confused before he quickly gathered who was standing before him. “Ohhh... I get it; they fused!”

“Heh, yeah…” Mabel let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Mr. Universe, t-this is Stepper.”

“Stepper, huh?” Greg said with a small sigh of relief as he stepped out of his van. “It’ve heard about you from Steven. Nice to finally meet you in person. And even better to see you’re both safe and sound.” 

At this, the fusion was caught off guard as the former rock star wrapped him into a tight, protective embrace. One that he didn’t really make any move to return. “Um… it’s nice to meet you too, sir,” he said stiffly, awkwardly even. 

“Sir?” Greg chuckled as he pulled away from the fusion, wiping away a few tears. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. I am your dad after all. I-in a way. Partially. I think? Hm…”

“Wait, you are?” Stepper asked, baffled by this information. 

“Yes…?” Greg’s smile was quick to disappear at this. “I mean, I’m definitely Steven’s dad, at least, so-”

“Uh, M-Mr. Universe?” Mabel interjected fretfully, hesitating to even deliver the horrific news to the former rock star at all. Even if she knew she had to. “Something happened and, um… well, Stepper doesn’t really… remember a whole lot right now. He doesn’t think he’s a fusion, a-and he doesn’t remember Steven or Dipper either…”

“W-what…?” Greg balked, aptly distraught as he looked Stepper over. “B-but he’s…” The former rock star let out a shaken gasp as he finally noticed the fusion’s fractured gemstone. “Y-your gem… what… what happened to it? Is this why y-you can’t…?”

Stepper had no answer for these almost tearful questions, though thankfully Mabel spoke to them instead. “It’s a… long story…” she sighed sadly. “Grunkle Ford and the Gems do think it is the reason why his memories are all wonky, b-but we’re trying to fix them, and I thought bringing him to you might help him at least remember Steven, but…”

“D-did it work?” Greg pressed, looking to Stepper with hope and desperation in his voice alike. “Do you remember me? D-do you remember Steven?”

Stepper could easily see the grief rising in the expression of the man standing before him, and though he couldn’t really claim to know this man, he still couldn’t help but feel guilty for that grief all the same. And yet, he didn’t dare lie to him, knowing that doing so, that giving him false hope for something that would ultimately be just an act, a falsehood, a meager attempt at replicating what he didn’t even truly believe he’d really lost. “N-no…” he admitted sympathetically, apologetically. “I don’t… I’m sorry.”

Try as he might, Greg was completely helpless against the heavy sob that escaped him as he collapsed to take a seat in the back of the van. His expression was rife with tearful grief as he averted his gaze away from the fusion that was partially composed of his son. His son, who didn’t remember his father, who didn’t even remember himself, it seemed. “W-why… how…” he choked out another sob, his face buried in his hands all the while. “H-how does he just… not remember who he is? T-that’s not how fusions work, r-right?”

“N-no, it’s not…” Mabel said quietly. “L-like I said, we don’t really know how this happened. B-but don’t worry; we’re all working on a way to figure this out and get his memories back. Aren’t we, Stepper?”

Stepper hesitated to give a proper answer to this, especially as he met Greg’s heartbroken gaze once more. While he had leaned into honesty earlier, the fusion couldn’t help but offer up something of a lie now, all in the hopes of easing that heartbreak at least a little. “R-right…” he said softly as he glanced away. 

“R-right,” Greg added with a small, resigned sigh. He offered the pair a grateful smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, particularly as he regarded Stepper once more. “Uh… I-I...better go check in with the Gems about all this.” He stood to head to the front of the van, clearly struggling to be near his “son” in such a forgetful state. “I-I’ll see you kids around…” 

The former rock star didn’t see much else before getting into the van and driving off toward the temple, in the hopes of getting a more complete picture of what was happening from the Gems. As well as further reassurance that something was being done to fix it. At the same time, Mabel and Stepper set out from the car wash, their manner equally solemn as they began to wander out toward the lake with no real set purpose in mind.

“Mabel?” Stepper began as he stopped, his expression awash in fretful woe. 

“Yeah, Stepper?” 

“I… I feel bad for that Mr. Universe guy…” the fusion glanced back at the direction Greg’s van had gone. “He was so… sad, just like you and the Gems were before. A-and I know you’re going to tell me it’s not, but… I know i-it’s all my fault…”

“Stepper, no,” Mabel was quick to reassure him as she grabbed his lower set of arms. “None of this is your fault; it’s Bill’s! You’re not-”

“I’m not who you want me to be,” Stepper said quickly, firmly as he pulled his hands away. “I’m just not. I’m sorry.”

“N-no, you… you are, you just don’t remember-”

“Mabel, please,” Stepper stopped her, letting out an irritated huff as he did. “Can we just sto-”

“Mabel?!”

The tension rising between the two fell apart as quickly as the conversation itself did as this call reached them from just a short way down the street. “Pacifica!” Mabel shouted back to the heiress as she ran up to her, phone in hand. 

“I-I just got your text,” Pacifica began breathlessly. “You said you found him? You found Dipper?!”

“W-well, yeah…” Mabel began tentatively. “But Pacifica, he’s not-”

“Where is he?!” the heiress pressed, immensely concerned for her boyfriend’s wellbeing. “Is he ok? Is he… he…” She trailed off, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped in awe as she happened to glance over at the fusion. Or, as far as she knew, the strangely four-armed, yet very handsome young man standing alongside Mabel. “H-hey…” she greeted him, her face suddenly feeling hot for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain. 

“Hi,” he offered her a small wave and a smile, one that practically made her melt when she thought about who it reminded her of. 

“Oh, uh… P-Pacfica, this is Stepper-” Mabel filled in, though she was quickly interrupted. 

“Stepper…” Pacifica repeated in the form of a small, almost wistful sigh. “You look familiar…”

“You… don’t,” Stepper replied, his smile faltering somewhat. 

“She should be familiar, Stepper,” Mabel sighed tiredly. “Pacifica is Dipper’s girlfriend. A-and, well, you see, Pacifica, Stepper here is a fusion.”

“Oh?” Pacifica was barely listening, her sights still set on Stepper as she broke out into a soft, fond smile. 

“Yeah, h-he’s actually… Steven and Dipper.”

“Oh,” the heiress blinked, this information finally breaking her out of whatever unintentional trance the fusion had somehow put her under. “Oh! Oh. Ohhhh my gosh, this is… embarrassing.” Her already palpable blush deepened exponentially as she finally tore her flustered gaze away from Stepper. “I… mean, if that’s true, then you are technically my boyfriend, but you’re also not, a-and, ugh, this whole fusion thing is so confusing, I don’t know how any of you manage to keep it all straight.”

“Well, most of the time, it’s pretty easy, but this is a little… different,” Mabel said, biting her lip. “For starters, Stepper… doesn’t really remember who Steven and Dipper are right now. A-and… I don’t think he would know who you are either, Pacifica, since Stepper has never met you for himself until now.”

“W-what…?” Pacifica asked in newfound fear, especially as she met Stepper’s rather oblivious expression once more. That fear only grew as she realized the only boy she’d ever truly liked, perhaps even more than liked, might very well be lost to her forever. “You… don’t know who I am?”

Stepper faltered, seeing that familiar kind of grief well up in the heiress’ eyes. Grief that he kept bringing to just about everyone he encountered, it seemed. “I… no, I don’t…” he answered simply, averting her pleading gaze. 

Those words might as well have been knives for how sharp and painful they were when they hit Pacifica’s heart. She usually wasn’t one to openly display her emotions in public, but right now, there was no stopping the steady tears that fell as she realized her fears were all-too true. “H-how… how did this happen?” she asked Mabel, trying to make sense of something so unimaginable. 

“Well, Steven and Dipper got sucked into a portal to the Nightmare Realm, where Bill-”

“Wait, what?” Pacifica interjected, confused. “Nightmare Realm? Bill? What are you talking about?”

“Ugh, seriously? Dipper’s never told you about Bill before?” Pacifica shook her head, eliciting another exasperated groan out of Mabel as she facepalmed. “How many times have I told him? The key to a healthy relationship is communication. Even if that communication is about a crazy, vengeance-driven dream demon who stole his body and tried killing all of us!” Her manner was still quite severe as she turned to Stepper, who was every bit as out of the loop as Pacifica currently was. “As soon as you remember yourself, you’re getting a stern talking-to about this, mister!”

“Um… what?” Stepper asked, absolutely lost.

“Anyway,” Mabel took in a deep breath as she turned back to Pacifica. “The whole thing’s kind of a mess, but-” She stopped short as she heard a sudden loud choke of a sob escape the heiress. “P-Pacifica?”

For her part, Pacifica had taken Stepper’s lower hands into hers, her expression awash in misery as she stared up into his sympathetic, but unknowing eyes. Eyes that were a far cry from those of the boy she had fallen for, and yet... “Y-you… look so much like him…” she whispered mournfully. “B-but you’re not him… are you?”

Stepper nearly answered this, but just before he could, Mabel was quick to step in with some much-needed reassurance. “He is Dipper. And Steven,” she said firmly, almost as if she was trying to convince herself of that fact too. “And I promise that I’m doing everything I can to help him remember that. To help him remember everything.”

This promise did serve to ease Pacifica’s frayed nerves a bit, though far from entirely when she thought about the possibility that there was still a chance, however unbearable, that Dipper might be gone for good. “I-is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’ll let you know if there is,” Mabel said, pulling the heiress into a comforting hug, one that she surprisingly accepted in her dejected state. 

“Thank you…” Pacifica whispered as she parted from Mabel, only to catch Stepper by surprise with a sudden embrace before she left. “Come back to me…” she whispered to him, or rather, to Dipper, someone who couldn’t even hear her to begin with. “Please…”

Stepper had no idea what to even say to this, even as Pacifica pulled away from him, tears still in her eyes as she silently began to walk away. He felt guilty as he watched her go, and though he would have even liked to have said that he felt longing, he didn’t. Because he didn’t know her. Because he didn’t know them. Because he didn’t know much at all, it seemed. 

Mabel said nothing to him as she turned to continue on her way. And once again, Stepper found that he had no choice but to follow. 

The next part of Mabel’s plan wasn’t exactly the most solid, but it was still a plan all the same, one that involved taking Stepper around Gravity Falls in the hopes that familiar places might somehow jog his missing memories. They started downtown, passing by spots Steven and Dipper had once frequented, from Funland Arcade to Greasy’s Diner to Gravity Fries to the museum. For his part, Stepper hardly noticed any of the peculiar glances that were sent his way over his extra set of arms. Instead, he went along for the ‘Grand Gravity Falls Tour’ as Mabel put it, quietly appreciating the sights she showed him and the stories behind each one. Stories that she claimed he had been a part of, or his supposed halves had, rather, even if he didn’t remember a single one. 

The lake and the forest were by far his favorite stops along the tour however. The lake’s peaceful waters were a much-needed comfort after the hectic day he’d been having. If it had been up to him, he would have spent the rest of the afternoon soaking up the warm summer sun on their soft, sandy shores, staring out across the glistening water all the while. But then Mabel pulled him into the forest, filled with secrets and magic and surprises at every turn, or at least that’s what she told him. Stepper, however, felt a different kind of magic wafting through the trees, one that was perhaps a bit mythical, but every bit as special all the same. The easy summer breezes were gentle as they blew through the trees, lightly skimming his face every bit as much as the small specks of sunlight spilling in through the trees above did. And for what felt for the first time amidst the few memories he had to his name, he actually noticed that breeze, noticed the birds chirping on the branches above him, noticed the sweet scent of summer blossoms, notice the bright blue vibrancy of the handful of forget-me-nots he casually picked along the way. 

And as he noticed it all, he couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to be there amidst it all. To be himself, even with barely any memories to speak of, even with gaping, glaring holes in what few memories he did have. To be someone somewhere as beautiful as this. Each new moment he lived in, each new memory he created he couldn’t help but treasure between the far too few he’d had before. And the more memories he made, however minute and minuscule they might have been, he couldn’t help but want to make more. He couldn’t help but want to be more, to show everyone that he was more than just two faces he still couldn’t quite place. Two faces that everyone kept telling him he was when the only glimpse he’d ever had of them was by way of a simple faded photograph. 

Despite what everyone kept telling him, what everyone wanted out of him, Stepper couldn’t help but want to be nobody else other than himself. 

The sun was setting by the time the pair found themselves arriving back at the Mystery Shack, though they soon found that they weren’t the only ones doing so. For just as they were approaching the shack, a certain green Gem happened to suddenly faceplant right into the lawn before them. Peridot quickly recovered, however, pulling herself to her feet as she rushed over to Mabel first. 

“Maaaaaaabel! I received your textual communication via the ‘interweb’,” she frantically explained, pulling her tablet out. 

“Uh… you mean the email I sent you?” Mabel frowned, confused. 

“Yes!” Peridot nodded vigorously. “And it looks like it’s true. You really did find Steven and Dipper after all! Though do they really need to be fused into, ugh, the Stepper?”

“It’s good to see you too, Peridot,” Stepper regarded the green Gem almost dryly. 

“W-well, at least you remember Peri,” Mabel said to the fusion with something of a forced grin. 

“Remember me?” Peridot raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Before Mabel could get a chance to explain, Lapis suddenly flew in, her manner tense and anxious as she let her aquatic wings disappear the moment she landed. “You said Dipper and Steven are back,” she grabbed Mabel by the shoulders, her eyes wide as they betrayed her clear worry just as much as her tone did. “We’ve been out looking for them all day and night. Are they ok? Where are they?!”

“Uh, well…” Mabel trailed off, unsure of how to explain the situation to Lapis, of all Gems, as she briefly glanced over at Stepper. 

“Wait, w-what?” the blue Gem’s gaze jumped to the fusion as well. “Who is this? What’s going on?”

“That’s the Stepper,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms. 

“Stepper?” 

“H-he’s a fusion,” Mabel explained apprehensively. “O-Of… Dipper and Steven.”

Lapis gasped, taking a stumbling step back away from Stepper upon hearing this, even though her focus remained on him all the while. “W-what? D-Dipper and Steven can fuse? B-but how? Wait… w-why is their gem cracked?! Can’t they heal it like Steven did for mine?! Does it hurt? C-can you unfuse?! Can you-”

“Um… a-actually, Lapis,” Mabel winced, well aware of the panic welling up in the blue Gem’s eyes. “S-Stepper can’t unfuse right now. N-not with his gem like, well, t-that…”

Lapis shuddered, gripping the fusion’s upper arms tightly as she pleaded with him almost painfully. “C-can either of you hear me in there?!” she asked tightly, desperately as Stepper met her anxious gaze with startled surprise. “It’s ok! You can unfuse! You don’t have to be stuck together like I was stuck to-” She cut herself off, shaking her head against the remnant terror even just thinking of Malachite always managed to bring her. “P-please, just… unfuse, for me. I need to see you, both of you. Please.”

Stepper frowned at this, faced with another pang of guilt he had no idea how to ease as he pulled himself away from the frantic blue Gem. “I-I’m sorry but… do I know you?” 

“Oh no…” Mabel whispered worriedly as she watched Lapis freeze up in shock over such a piercing question. 

“W-what… what are you talking about?” the blue Gem asked, her entire body trembling with dread by this point. “O-of course you know me. Both of you do! It’s me: Lapis! R-remember?!”

“I-I don’t, but please, d-don’t feel bad about that,” Stepper tried to ease her obvious despair. “I’ve been meeting a lot of new people today, so-”

“I’m not a new person, NOT to either YOU!” Lapis shouted at him, suddenly furious as she turned to interrogate Mabel. “What’s the matter with them!? What happened?!”

“I-it was Bill,” Mabel answered, flinching over just how enraged Lapis was amidst her grief. At the same time, she heard Peridot let out a poignant squeak of fear the moment the dream demon’s name was so much as mentioned, understandable after what he’d put her through before. 

“T-that demon Dipper told me about the other day?” Lapis asked, her eyes narrowing. 

“Y-yeah,” Mabel nodded gravely. “Steven and Dipper got sucked into his dimension a-and they must have fused to try and fight him b-but… he cracked Stepper’s gem and we’re thinking that might have done something to his memories? But… we’re not sure. I’ve been working on helping him remember stuff all day, but-”

“H-he did this to them…” Lapis suddenly spoke, her voice but a low, intense whisper as her hands tightened into tense fists at her sides. “Wasn’t it enough for that… that monster to steal Dipper’s body?! He had to crack Steven’s gem too!? And now he’s got them both trapped... in a fusion of all things, without any of their memories?!” Lapis’ breathing was harsh and heavy as she paced around hotly, her hands pressed against her head as her anger only seemed to rise toward a rapid boiling point. 

“L-Lapis?” Peridot dared to speak up, reaching a trembling hand toward the blue Gem, though it never reached her. 

“We have to get their memories back,” Lapis said rigidly, still absolutely livid as she spun around to face the others. “And we have to make him pay for what he’s done to them. I wasn’t around to protect them from him before but I am not about to let him get away with hurting either of them any more!”

“L-Lapis…” Mabel attempted to interact before Peridot spoke up in her place. 

“A-are you crazy?!” she asked, terrified and incredulous. “You can’t just go up against someone like…” she hesitated, letting the dream demon’s name out in a feeble whisper, lest he was somehow listening in. “B-Bill Cipher. He’s a madman! A lunatic, who-”

“I don’t care!” Lapis snapped fiercely. “I told Dipper that I would never let that guy mess with him again, and I meant that. I don’t care if I have to go face him all by myself, I will, for them, to get back what they lost. Wouldn’t you?”

Peridot flinched at such a harshly asked question, one that she was hard pressed to answer given her prior daunting experience with the dream demon in question. “I-I…” she hesitated, and that was all the ammunition Lapis needed. 

“Don’t you care about them?!” she accused, overwhelmed by her fury more than anything else. Fury that she had to place somewhere, even if she couldn’t actually fire it at the one who really deserved it at the moment. “Don’t either of them matter to you?! Why wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to help them!?”

“I-I do!” Peridot protested earnestly. “O-of course I do! I-I want to help them, just like you do, but I-I just… I… I can’t…”

“Why not?” Lapis hissed between gritted teeth. 

Peridot paused, her eyes wide with fear as she glanced over at Mabel. For her own part, Mabel was quite shaken by the intensity of the ongoing argument, as was Stepper, even if he was largely lost when it came to its subject. Still, Mabel offered Peridot a silent nod of solidarity, prompting her to finally have a discussion with Lapis that she’d been trying to avoid since they’d moved into the barn together. A discussion she’d been trying to avoid having with anyone, really. 

“S-Stepper, it’s… getting kinda late,” Mabel whispered to the fusion as she began to lead him back toward the shack. “W-we should head inside…”

Stepper didn’t argue, though as he left with Mabel, he did cast a silent, sympathetic glance over his shoulder at the pair of Gems that remained outside as Peridot began to weave a story of woe that she believed was best left forgotten. “I-I… suppose I just come right out and say it…” the green Gem glanced down guiltily. “I’ve… fused with… with Bill Cipher before…”

Needless to say that Lapis was stunned upon hearing this, her former fury stalled as an entirely new type of anger filled in its place. “You… what?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“I-It was a mistake! A-a complete and total mistake that I’m incredibly ashamed of, you need to know that above all else!” Peridot implored her anxiously. “H-he promised me he’d get me back to Homeworld, h-he said he was working in league with the Diamonds (and he is by the way, that’s just about the only thing he wasn’t lying about). But he-””

“A-and you said yes?! You let him fuse with you?!” Lapis asked, baffled. 

“I-I understand how foolish it sounds in retrospect, b-but at the time, Pyrite seemed like the perfect proposition!” Peridot took a nervous step back. “I-it wasn’t of course, e-especially after he took control a-and forced me to the wayside. H-he essentially trapped me inside my own gem with him! T-that’s just what he does, from what I’ve heard. He traps you in situations you can’t get out of, n-not without having to ask him for his “help”. That’s what he did to me, a-and I’m willing to bet that’s what he did to Steven and Dipper too…”

Lapis’s anger finally cooled somewhat at this, her expression falling into sudden solace at this as she let out a long, remorseful sigh over her previous thoughtless behavior. “P-Peridot, I… I had no idea…” she said quietly. “I’m… I’m sorry…”

“You’re not the one who needs to be sorry,” Peridot’s manner turned resolved as she offered the blue Gem a supportive smile. “I-I may not be strong or brave enough to face Cipher again, but Lapis, you… I know you are, for both of us! If there’s anyone who can help Steven and Dipper now, it’s you. Well, and Mabel and Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and Ford and--”

“Ok, ok, I get it,” Lapis said with a small chuckle. 

“B-but I also want you to know that I’m willing to do whatever I can to help on this end of things,” Peridot affirmed. “So, what do you say we figure out how to take a dastardly demon down a peg?”

“I’m in,” Lapis readily agreed, calling upon her wings before she took Peridot’s hands and hoisted her up into the air. And together, both Gems headed off toward the Crystal Temple, hoping that they weren’t too late to join the cause to stop Bill and save Steven and Dipper in the process. 

For the rest of the evening, neither Stan nor Ford were anywhere to be found; the same could be said of the Gems, and though Mabel half wanted to look for them, she knew she had nothing new to report to them anyway. Stepper’s lack of memories was still just as apparent as it had been from the time they’d found him earlier that day. A painful reminder that only got all the more agonizing whenever she happened to bring up something the fusion had no recollection of, only to receive yet another blank stare, another question of confusion, another piece of proof that he had lost touch with who he really was. 

So eventually, Mabel stopped trying, at least for tonight, as exhaustion finally began to catch up with her. After all, while Steven and Dipper had been missing, she hadn’t exactly been getting the best sleep, if any at all. And though she still felt incredibly restless and anxious, she knew weighing herself down by tiredness would do nothing to help Stepper, Steven, or Dipper alike. So she decided to turn in early for the night, encouraging Stepper to do the same as she led him back up to the attic. 

“S-so… it’s been a pretty long, less than successful day, b-but that alright,” Mabel let out a sharp breath as she jumped up onto her bed. “We can always keep trying tomorrow and who knows? Maybe a good night’s sleep will help you out in the memory department.”

“Uh… right…” Stepper said halfheartedly as he took to the empty bed across from her. He slipped off his vest and cap and made an attempt at laying out on the bed, only for his legs to end up dangling over the edge rather substantially. “Huh. Bed’s too short…”

“Ha! That’s exactly what we said!” Mabel chuckled as she began to tuck herself in. 

“What who said?”

Mabel’s fond smile was quick to fade at this, not even really needing to ask herself whether or not Stepper would even remember Maven in his current state. After all, the only thing he really seemed to remember in any sort of detail was himself. “N-no one…” she said with a small, sad sigh as she rolled onto her other side to face away from the fusion. “It’s... no one…”

“Mabel?” Stepper pressed, though he received no answer from her this time. So instead, he let out a soft sigh of his own as he turned the desk lamp off and laid down, his feet still hanging off the edge of the bed as all four of his hands rested against his chest. Briefly, he glanced down at the cracked gemstone on his stomach, its fractured, dull pink looking paler than ever against the moonlight shining in through the window above him. 

He wasn’t sure he entirely believed in his connections to the people who claimed to know him that he’d never even seen before and he sincerely doubted the idea of him being a fusion between two boys he didn’t know a thing about. But if there was one thing Stepper was certain of, it was the deep, unhealable crack in the stone on his gut. A crack that he hadn’t the faintest idea about where it came from. Everyone claimed that “Bill” person was responsible for it, but Stepper didn’t know him, didn’t know anything of him other than the claim that he was bad news and everyone who knew of him seemed to hate him relentlessly. And even if that was what everyone was claiming, Stepper still wanted to know for himself, still wanted to reclaim that apparently missing memory above all else. Because unlike his supposed identity as “Steven” and “Dipper” there was at the very least, actual proof that crack actually existed--he didn’t need to look any further than his stomach for that. Yet for as present as the crack itself was, it was still such a mystery to him, a mystery that he wanted to solve, that he felt like he needed to solve to fill that lingering, aching sense of emptiness within him. Far more than he needed to know the two boys everyone kept telling him he was. 

And then, suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a flash. A sharp and sudden gasp he took in as a burst of unknown, yet somehow familiar pain seized him. And with that pain, with that gasp, came that flash, like a dream, no a memory of something he didn’t recognize, something he didn’t know. Something sharp and dark, plummeting toward him, toward his gem as it touched it. As it slammed into it. 

As it cracked it.

And that was it. That was all he saw, all he was allowed to see. Because just like that it was over and he was back in the present, back in the bedroom, back in the mystery that left him perplexed and distressed and confused, feelings he’d been awash in all day. The only positive he could see was that the brief bout of pain he’d felt faded as though it had never fallen upon him whatsoever. But that hardly left him comforted when he considered where it had come from to begin with. He noticed that a few more cracks expanded over his skin surrounding his gem, thin pink lines tracing across his stomach as they further fractured a story that he only had the sparsest of pieces of. 

A story, a mystery he wondered if he’d ever truly be able to piece together to create the complete picture to.

Staying up all night was hardly anything new to either the Gems or Ford; it was something they had used to do together quite frequently back in their days of working on the portal together, however ill-fated that work ended up being. But their latest all-nighter had been spent on a much more important cause to all of them; namely, figuring out exactly what had happened to Stepper and how to fix it. 

“What do ya mean you don’t know?!” Amethyst huffed in extreme annoyance. The Gems stood anxiously by while Ford paced around his lab in the shack’s lowest level, his intensive search through all of his notes proving to be rather fruitless by most accounts. “Aren’t you supposed to know like, everything there is to know about Bill? You guys were good buddies back in the day after all, right?”

“I would hardly say that,” Ford scoffed bitterly. “And besides, Bill is an enigma, his true intentions in any given situation are anyone’s guess--well, aside from the fact that they’re always self-serving.”

“But what would Bill have to gain by doing this to Stepper?” Pearl asked, desperate for any sort of answers at this point. 

“His gem,” Garnet guessed. “Steven did say Bill tried taking it from him in his dream once before. Though we still don’t know why he’d want it in the first place.”

“But if Steven’s gem was what Bill was after, then certainly he would have taken it while he had the boys alone, without anyone to protect them,” Ford shook his head. “And I hate to even think about it, but it would have been easy for him to do so in the Nightmare Realm. He isn’t confined to the immaterial plane there like he would be here.”

“But he didn’t take the gem,” Pearl mused worriedly. “He cracked it… If he wants it so badly, why would he damage it on purpose? It doesn’t make any sense! Then again, considering this is Cipher we’re talking about, that’s hardly surprising…”

“Ok, so let’s just say Bill doesn’t want Steven’s gem after all,” Amethyst interjected, her arms crossed as she leaned up against a wall. “Why would he mess with Stepper’s memories and then just send him back here? I mean, the guy totally hates all of us, including Steven and Dipper. If he really wanted to mess with us in just about the worst way possible, he could have-”

“We know, Amethyst,” Ford interrupted, raising a hand to stop her before she could even voice such an awful thought aloud. “We know…”

“The crack in his gem must be connected to his lost memories and sense of identity,” Garnet theorized carefully. “But a fusion forgetting they are a fusion… it’s something I’ve even heard of before. The only explanation for that I can think of could be that Stepper’s mostly human. And that the crack is no longer damaging him physically only thanks to Rose’s fountain. But his mind… his memories… are still every bit as fractured as his gem itself is…”

“So… all we gotta do is figure out a way to heal his mind then?” Amethyst proposed, hopeful. “Easy.”

“So far that’s turning out to be easier said than done based on how Stepper was acting earlier…” Pearl noted fretfully. “As far as he was apparently concerned, Steven and Dipper might as well have not even ever existed!”

“He’s got to remember them eventually,” Garnet sighed, adjusting her shades. “That could be first and the only key to solving this.”

“A-and if it isn’t?” Amethyst dared to ask. It was a question none of the others even had an answer to however, for the possibility that Stepper simply remembering who he truly was not being enough to save him, to save them, was almost just as unimaginable as him not remembering them at all. 

“Regardless, I’m still troubled by Bill’s role in all this,” Ford continued with a sigh as he sank into his seat at the desk before where the portal had once sat. “He’s an absolute sadist, sure, but I don’t think he would have cracked Stepper’s gem without a reason, especially if he considers that gem to be a prize for him to obtain eventually. He had to have an ulterior motive, something else that he wants to…” The author trailed off, his eyes growing wide as he glanced up at the small desk cabinet just in front of him. A cabinet which was currently home to something else he knew without a doubt Bill wanted to get his hands on. 

“Stanford?” Pearl inquired, concerned. 

“I-I… I think I know why Bill did this…” Ford muttered, his tone shaken as grief started to slip into it. Grief over a secret he found he could keep no longer, at least not from the Gems. Not after what the burden of that secret had apparently done to two boys he cared so deeply about. “A-a few weeks ago I decided to entrust both Dipper and Steven with the knowledge of something I haven’t told anyone else about… until now…”

The Gems exchanged a confused glance as they watched Ford unlock his desk cabinet, only to pull out something that stunned all three of them alike. “Whoa…” Amethyst’s jaw dropped at the sight of the small, contained mass of moldable space. 

“F-Ford…” Pearl gasped, shocked by its sheer radiance. 

“That’s…” Garnet trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I-its an interdimensional rift torn in space time,” Ford explained solemnly, his grip on the rift tight and secure. “I discovered it after dismantling the portal a-and of course I immediately did my best to contain it but… it still stands as a way, however small, for Bill to get into our dimension, just as much as the portal was before it. And, well… I don’t put torturing Steven and Dipper to get information as to its whereabouts out of them past Bill, quite frankly. So-”

“So you just knew about this incredibly dangerous rift all this time, and you didn’t even think to tell us about it?!” Pearl asked hotly, Garnet and Amethyst clearly sharing her frustration right off the bat. 

“Of course, I thought about it,” Ford countered as sternly as he could, though he knew defending his decision was going to be difficult. “I just… didn’t. Obviously.”

“But you told Steven and Dipper about it!” Amethyst pointed out harshly. “You know, two kids. What did think they were gonna do to protect this dumb thing if Bill ever came after it? Yeah, I know they can both fight and fuse, but come on, man, what were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking it was the right thing to do,” Ford said, desperately trying to believe that was still true, that it still was. But considering Stepper’s current condition… he didn’t entirely think that was a conviction he’d be able to hold onto for much longer. “I-I… I just thought that the fewer knew about it, the less danger it would pose.”

“You thought wrong,” Garnet finally spoke, her tone rigid, livid. She took a sudden step forward, catching the author off guard as she grabbed him by the collar of his sweater to hoist him up out of his seat. “Because look at where we are now, Stanford. Look at what’s happened to Stepper, to Steven and Dipper! He’s cracked, broken, stuck together; he doesn’t even remember who he’s made of! By burdening those boys--our boys--with this kind of dangerous information, you forfeited their safety. By not telling us about the rift in their stead, by not trusting us like you should have, you kept us from protecting them. And in doing so, you showed how little you really care about either of them. And how selfish you really are.”

With this, Garnet shoved Ford back into his seat, leaving him stunned and speechless as she began to make her way toward the elevator with Pearl and Amethyst following right behind her. None of the Gems had anything more to say to the author, yet he still wasn’t quite done as he carefully put the rift away and began to trail after them. “W-wait,” he implored, his voice weak and weary. The Gems did stop just as the elevator opened before them, each of them sending a cold glare back his way. Ford didn’t make much of an effort to apologize, knowing that such an effort would be meaningless against what they were facing. So instead, he made a request that he knew he had no business even asking of them, especially not now. Yet for the sake of the greater good, that’s exactly what he did anyway. “I… Please, d-don’t tell anyone else about the rift. Until we figure out a way to neutralize it for good, like I said before, it’s safer, less exposed, if fewer people know about its existence…”

For what seemed like ages, the Gems didn’t respond to this plea, but in the end, Garnet simply nodded her cold affirmation to it. “Whatever,” Amethyst also agreed with a quiet scoff. “Guess your stupid secret’s safe with us.”

“Yes,” Pearl said bitterly as all three of the Gems piled into the elevator to leave the author behind. “At least then, no one else can stand to get hurt simply from knowing about it like Steven and Dipper already have…”

And indeed, they already had been, something that Ford lamented as he was left alone in the empty darkness of his lab. The boys had been hurt, damaged, forgotten, possibly even beyond the point of remembrance by the very fusion they were both a part of. And for as much as Ford would have wanted to blame Bill for all of that, at the end of the day, he knew the Gems were right; he only really had himself to blame. 

“Okey-dokey, Ste-bro,” Mabel was bright and cheery as ever the next morning as she bounded downstairs, with Stepper following a decent pace behind her. “We’re officially back on what I like to call “Memory Patrol”. I’ve got a whole day planned out that’ll get you back to remembering everything in no time. And that day starts with a delicious morning meal with all of Steven and Dipper’s favorite breakfast treats! Grunkle Stan!” 

This call was easily enough to startle Stan awake from his spot in the recliner in the living room. The book he’d checked out of the library the previous day entitled “Memory Loss: Treatment and Talking About It With Loved Ones” fell off his face as he bolted upright in alarm. “Ugh, huh…? What is it? You need somethin’, pumpkin?” he asked Mabel as she poked her head into the den. 

“Yeah! I need you to help me put together the best breakfast ever,” she grinned as she ran over to pull him out of his seat. “One that’s gonna be the trick to getting Stepper to remember everything, I just know it!”

“Wait… you mean the poor kid still doesn’t remember who he is?” Stan asked incredulously, sparing a worried glance at the aforementioned fusion as Mabel dragged him toward the kitchen. “...What the heck am I gonna tell your parents?” 

“You won’t have to tell ‘em anything ‘cause we’re fixing all of this today,” Mabel proclaimed, confident yet largely more hopeful that they would. Because if they didn’t, if they couldn’t… she couldn’t even stand to think about what would happen. “Now c’mon. Let’s get cooking!”

For his part, Stepper didn’t join the pair in the kitchen as they began prepping breakfast. Instead, he took to casually wandering around the shack, not having any real destination in mind, even as he eventually made it to the gift shop. He couldn’t help but smile a bit as he looked over the various nick-nacks and chachkies stocked up on display, though he did stop upon finding one certain shelf containing several hats, caps to be precise, much like the very one he was wearing. One of those hats in particular happened to catch his eye, one that, instead of being noticeably blank like his was, bore the prominent image of a blue pine tree upon it. Stepper picked it up, examining that pine tree with a sense of what almost felt like nostalgia, that persistent feeling of emptiness starting to spark within him once more. 

And then, another flash, this time in sound that seemed to echo from nowhere and everywhere all at once as pain flushed out from his gemstone once more. 

“Pine Tree.” “Rose Bud.”

“Pine Bud.” “Rose Tree.”

He stumbled back, the hat falling out of his grip as he pressed a hand to his head. The sharp, vibrant pain was gone but he remembered it vividly, though what had come along with it was still nothing more than a mystery covered by a mist that was far too thick for him to even try to see through. Just as so many things seemed to be for him, really. 

Stepper was startled once more, this time by the vending machine on the other side of the gift shop opening up almost like a door. As confused by that alone as he was, Stepper watched as the Gems emerged from that doorway, their expressions mutually exhausted and frustrated, for reasons the fusion could only really begin to guess. “H-hey, you guys,” he greeted the trio with a small smile. “Is everything ok?”

The Gems let out a shared, tired sigh at this as they all looked to Stepper sadly. “Eh… gotta admit, it would be a little better if you could actually remember anything about Steven and Dipper,” Amethyst admitted, catching a glare from Pearl for being so overt and tactless. “Any luck with that, dude?”

Stepper frowned, taking in the Gems’ weary manner as he wished there was actually something he could do to ease it instead of add onto it for a change. “...Would you all feel better if I said yes?”

There was another sigh, namely from Pearl and Amethyst this time as Garnet shook her head, placing a consoling hand on the fusion’s shoulder. “You don’t need to lie to appease us, Stepper,” she said, offering him a small, encouraging smile. “If nothing else, we’re just happy to have you safely back from the Nightmare Realm.”

“The Nightmare Realm…” Stepper repeated, his eyes wide with newfound curiosity. “That’s where you guys said my gem was cracked right? Could you maybe tell me more about what happened there?”

“We really… can’t, Stepper, we weren’t there…” Pearl began, though her eyes grew wide as a sudden pertinent realization struck her. “But YOU were! And if you can remember everything that you’ve been through as a fusion, then certainly you must at least still have some memories of what happened to you there!”

“B-but… I already told you, I don’t-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected as she placed both of her hands firmly on his shoulders, following along with Pearl’s plan. After all, in light of everything else, it was really the only thing they could possibly attempt at this point. “Listen carefully. We need you to try to remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm.”

“W-what?” Stepper asked, daunted by such a task. “I… can’t, I don’t even know what that place is, much less what might have happened there.”

“You do,” Garnet insisted, her grip on his shoulders tightening out of the slightest bit of desperation. “Somewhere deep in your mind, the memory of it still has to exist. And that memory might be the only way we can figure out what happened to you, to your gem, and to your memories. So please, try to think about what happened… so we can help you.”

While Stepper largely believed what the Gems were asking of him to be impossible, he was hard pressed to say no to their pleading gazes. Almost as if all of their hopes for answers rested solely on his shoulders. And really, seeing as how he was looking for many of the same answers too, he knew he at least owed it to them and to himself to at the very least make the attempt, however difficult it might be. “O-ok… I’ll try…”

Unsure of how to proceed, Stepper opted to close his eyes and take in a deep breath, blocking everything else out as he only focused on thoughts of the Nightmare Realm, a place he didn’t know, didn’t remember. And for what seemed like ages, no memories were seeming to come to him until… 

Another flash, another burst of pain, far more intense than before as his broken gemstone seemed to pulse with agony both internally and externally. And with that flash and that pain came the memory he’d been searching for, for the first time clear as crystal as it played out in beats, like a song without a melody. Like a tune his heart had forced him to forget. 

“What I want is something only you can give me, Rose Tree…”

Shield-

“W-why would you want that?”

-Journal.

“I just wanna see you lose your prized, precious weapon for good."

Shield-

“Sounds like a small price to pay to see your friends and family again and NOT die a slow, painful death in a literal nightmare dimension, dontcha think?”

-Journal.

“I'd rather lose that book forever then lose you forever…"

Shield-

“That's it, right? Nothing more along with it? No strings attached?”

-Journal.

“None at all, Rose Tree! You’ll be home before you know it.”

Shield-

“But… if all I stand to lose is my shield journal for a chance to go home and get as far away from you as possible, then… I’ll take it…”

-Journal.

“I knew we'd be able to work something out, Pine Bud. Now… pay up."

And he did. He paid the price for his return. A price that cost him far more than he ever could have imagined…

“My shield journal!” Stepper gasped, practically falling onto the floor as he was forced out of that horrific memory. Garnet caught him just in time to keep him steady, but even so, the fusion was trembling, the cracks across his stomach expanding even more, just as they had last night, though he was really the only one to notice. “M-my journal…” he repeated, his eyes wide with panic as he continued reeling from what he’d just seen. “I-it’s gone…”

“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed in baffled unison. 

“But… how? Can’t you just summon it like you always do?” Amethyst asked incredulously. 

“N-no, I… I don’t have it anymore,” Stepper explained hectically as Garnet helped him stand properly once more. “I gave it away to some… triangle guy. H-he only had one eye and he-”

“B-Bill…” Pearl interrupted, terror and disdain mingling in her tone. “You… you gave your weapon away to Bill?”

“That was Bill?” Stepper asked, still largely unfamiliar with the being his memories had shown him. “But… he said he’d help me get home if I gave him my journal, and… I am home, right? So… he did what he said.”

“No, he didn’t,” Ford suddenly broke into the conversation that he’d been listening in on from the other side of the vending machine door. As he emerged from it, the Gems all offered him brief, bitter glances, though he didn’t speak to any of them as he kept his focus on Stepper, hoping to at least try to set right all of the things he’d done wrong. “Bill lied to you, Stepper, just like he lies to everyone. He may have somehow gotten you back to this dimension, but by taking your shield journal away from you, I fear he might have stripped you of your very identity in the process.”

“My identity…?” Stepper asked, confused. “Uh… how? It’s just a book, right?”

“...Stepper, tell me, what do you remember when it comes to your shield journal?”

“Uh… well, I know how to make shields using it… and… um…”

“Do you happen to remember what’s actually on the pages of that journal?” Ford pressed, though unfortunately, Stepper had no answer other than a small shake of his head. “Just as I feared… Stepper, your shield journal is very unique when it comes to other fusion weapons. Based on what I was able to study of it before, it’s pages are composed entirely of information about you, or rather, about who you’re made of. Half of it is about Steven, while the other half is about Dipper. I have reason to believe it’s tied not just to your gem, but your mind, your very existence as a fusion.”

“But I’m not-”

“I don’t know how we didn’t think of this before…” Ford interrupted, still intent on his developing theory as he delivered his final, grim verdict. “Don’t you all see? That journal tells the complete story of who Steven and Dipper are on their own, and joining those stories together makes them Stepper. So when Bill took the journal away from him, he also took away all those stories, every ounce of knowledge Stepper once had of either of his component halves. He didn’t just take away Stepper’s memories of Steven and Dipper. He took away their very identities altogether.”

This information hit all three of the Gems hard, each of them stunned into silence as they tried to make sense of such a horrific thought. The thought that Steven and Dipper were far more lost than they ever could have realized. 

“His gem,” Garnet spoke first, her tone tight and barely restraining the tranquil fury she was feeling. “That’s why it’s still cracked. The fountain may have healed the worst of it, but it couldn’t restore what he’s lost. Without that journal, without Steven and Dipper… Stepper is incomplete.”

“I-Incomplete?” Stepper interjected, alarmed by the very implication. 

“That’s bound to be what’s keeping him from unfusing too…” Ford noted gravely. “There’s nothing left for him to unfuse into.”

“But I already told you all,” Stepper attempted to speak up. “I can’t-”

“But,” Ford cut him off as he began running with another, much more hopefully theory. “If we were to get his journal back to him, then there’s reason to believe that might be enough to restore his knowledge of his halves, fix his gem, and help him unfuse all in one fell swoop.”

“Whoa, hold on-” Stepper tried to break into the conversation once again, but by this point he’d all but been forced out of it entirely. 

“So what?” Amethyst asked. “Are we just supposed to take a trip into the Nightmare Realm and beat the bricks outta Bill until he hands the book back over to us?”

Ford sighed, far from keen on the idea of venturing back to a place he had such awful memories of, even if he knew such a trip was extremely necessary now. “At this point, I’m not sure what other options we have…”

“B-but… how would we even get to the Nightmare Realm?” Pearl asked, daunted by the very thought of facing off against Bill in his domain. “The portal’s gone, a-and that rift…”

“We can’t risk that,” Ford quickly shot the idea down. “But we could always use the rift’s energy signature to lock onto the Nightmare Realm’s location… All we’d really need to get there is a makeshift wormhole stabilizer to create a temporary portal that would be up just long enough to get us in and out of Nightmare Realm, a few hours in our time at the very most.”

“Well… that shouldn’t be completely out of the question…” Pearl mused. “After all, we did send Peridot and Lapis back to the barn to salvage whatever materials they could from the drill, right, Garnet?”

The Gem leader nodded, her future vision, even as spotty as it had been during this entire situation, thankfully proving serviceable and spot-on in this instance. “I knew doing that would come in handy.”

“W-wait, can we just… slow down for a minute?” Stepper asked, taking a step forward in the hope that he wouldn’t go unnoticed this time. “Didn’t you say this Bill guy is really dangerous? If that’s true, then why would you want to go and pick a fight with him?”

“Uh, weren’t you listening, dude?” Amethyst asked, hands on her hips. “We gotta get your journal back!”

“That’s right,” Ford nodded, resolved. “It might be the only way for us to help you, Stepper.”

“Help me?” Stepper asked with a small scoff. “How would any of you risking your lives help me?!”

“It could help you remember who you are,” Garnet explained evenly, even though she was the first to pick up on the fusion’s rising frustration. “Who you’re supposed to be.”

As the Gem leader reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, Stepper harshly pulled himself out of her reach. “I am who I’m supposed to be!” he protested hotly. “That’s what I keep trying to tell everyone, but none of you will listen to me!”

“S-Stepper, please, don’t get upset,” Pearl said cautiously. “We know you don’t remember who Steven and Dipper are right now, but if you did, then you’d understand that they’re what makes you you.”

“No, they’re not!” Stepper countered, all four of his hands in tight fists. “How many times do I have to tell you? I am not a fusion! I’m especially not a fusion of two people I don’t even know!”

“Uh, yeah, you are,” Amethyst argued with a scowl.

“I’m not!” Stepper retorted bitterly. “Do any of you realize just how unfair all this is to me?! You all are asking me to be someone I know I’m not! Someone I can’t be because the only thing I know how to be is myself!”

“Stepper, that’s enough,” Garnet said, her tone as cold as ice. “You’re being irrational. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re saying!” Stepper accused, absolutely livid by this point. He knew he was going too far, he knew the ground he was standing on was shaky at best, but he couldn’t help it, he wouldn’t stop. He was tired of being silenced and refused to let his own voice go unheard any longer. “Even if I ever was a fusion, which I’m not, I don’t know who Steven and Dipper are! And I won’t let you all sacrifice yourselves just so you can force me to become who you think I should be! Why won’t any of you just let me have a say in what happens to me?!”

“Because, Stepper, you just… don’t understand,” Ford shook his head dismissively. “You don’t have the complete picture, you don’t know-”

“I know plenty,” Stepper hissed intensely. “I know who I am. I know who I want to be. I may not have a lot of memories right now, but I want to make more! I want to see so many things, I want to do so much, I want to become someone on my own. I-I don’t want to be Dipper or Steven or whoever else you keep trying to tell me I am. I want to be Stepper. I want to be me.”

“Stepper, you can’t stay like this,” Garnet insisted, her tone severe and stern. “You’re cracked, damaged, in gem, body, and mind. You will never be whole as long as you exist as you are now.”

“You’re wrong!” Stepper shouted, furious as he felt like the others were all backing him into a corner. A corner he would not let them trap him into, not anymore. “I can be whole, I am whole! Why can’t any of you just see that?! Oh, I know, it’s because you’re all so obsessed with Dipper and Steven, whoever they are, to the point that I don’t even matter, right?!”

“Don’t be absurd,” Pearl chastised, though her voice was trembling even as she said it. “You do matter to all of us, Stepper, but-”

“But only because you think I’m them,” Stepper surmised crossly, glaring away from all of them. “Well, I’m only going to say this one more time: I am not them. And even if there’s a chance I ever was them, I’m not going back to being them, ever! I’m staying just like I am, and if that means Steven and Dipper are gone, then… then I guess they’re just gone! For good!”

Before any of the others could even try to argue with this, the sudden clamor of shattering glass abruptly cut through the tension of the room. Everyone was quick to turn to the gift shop entrance, only to find Mabel standing in the threshold, the spilled remains of the now broken breakfast plate she’d dropped on the floor lying at her feet. Yet even so, her sights were set on Stepper and Stepper alone, tears brimming in her eyes as even more continued to fall over everything she’d just heard. Her grief-stricken expression alone struck Stepper with more guilt and remorse than he could have ever thought possible, especially since he knew there was no way he could take back what Mabel had just overheard now. Even if he actually wanted to. 

Even so, Mabel didn’t say a single word, instead choking out a heavy, sorrowful sob as she turned and ran, rushing down the hall to get as far away from the fusion as possible. Stepper gasped, making an instinctual move to hurry after her, though he stopped short before he could even leave the gift shop upon noticing all of the other sets of eyes watching him all the while. By all accounts, Ford seemed completely shellshocked, Amethyst sharing the same speechless sentiment. Garnet’s mouth was pressed into a tight, thin, clearly angry line, while Pearl clung onto her arm, her own mouth covered to suppress a mournful sob to match the tears streaming down her cheeks. Stepper tensed, unsure of what to say to any of them at a moment like this. Because really, he’d already said more than enough by now. 

So instead, he did largely the same thing Mabel already had and retreated, pressing past the group as he ran out of the shack entirely. He had no idea if any of them tried to stop him, and he largely didn’t care. He just needed to go, to escape, to get away from all of the expectations, all of the pressure, all of the guilt he couldn’t bear to shoulder any longer. 

He found himself heading up the hill toward the temple, not on purpose, but out of a simple desire to be alone. He had thought to go after Mabel, though he had a high suspicion that she was just about the last person he’d probably want to see right now. So instead, he went off on his own, his thoughts constantly washing over each other like waves lapping onto a shore. As much as his guilt still overwhelmed him, so too did plenty of other emotions: confusion, sadness, concern, exhaustion, but above all else, there was conflict. A sense of uncertainty that plagued him almost constantly now as he continued to wonder what came next. Or rather, what might become of him. 

He wasn’t a fusion, he wasn’t Steven or Dipper. He knew that. He was certain of that. And yet… that certainty still left so many gaps in who he actually was compared to who he wasn’t. He knew he was Stepper… and that was about it. An undeformed identity that he wanted to claim as his own, even if he didn’t know how. A life that he wanted to lead, even if he couldn’t see where that life might be going. Someone who he wanted to be, even if no one else wanted him to be that. 

The mid-morning sun was crisp and warm as it shined upon his face, yet even in its radiance he felt strangely cold. Empty. Incomplete, just as they’d called him before. Something was wrong, something was missing, he knew that. He just didn’t know exactly what that something actually was. And amidst that conflict, amidst all of the countless thoughts washing up onto the shore of his unsettled mind, he strangely found himself compelled to voice those thoughts in a way that felt undoubtedly familiar, even if he had no memory of doing so before. Still, he sang anyway, his mind aching and his heart breaking with each and every word of his melancholy tune.

“I’m someone, I’m no one, I’m me,” he began, his voice smooth yet sad as he strolled up the hill ahead of him. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be… They want me to give up myself, and then just become someone else…”

He let out a small, bitter sigh at this, the arguments Ford and the Gems had put forth stinging him even still. Even so, he couldn't help but feel some form of sympathy for their plight. Whoever Steven and Dipper actually were, Stepper could tell they were important to the others based on how adamant everyone was about getting them back. Certainly, if anyone he cared about that much had been ripped away from him, he would have likely felt the exact same way as they did. Though perhaps not to the extent of forcing someone else to become someone they weren’t. 

“I wish that I knew them, I do.” And it was true. He would have loved to know who those boys actually were, perhaps even befriended them based on how highly everyone seemed to think of them. Even if he felt like he barely knew a single thing about either of them. “They’re sorry they lost them, me too. But someone else is to blame, for memories that I still can’t claim.”

Memories of people, of places, of events he hadn’t been a part of, of things he had no context for. People like Greg and Pacifica and Lapis, all of whom seemed quite nice, but he didn’t know, or at least he hadn’t until now. Places like the Nightmare Realm, of what happened there, something that, even for as filled with as many holes as it was, what holes had been filled shook him to his very core with fear. Events that Mabel tried telling him about, weaving together into a grand, epic story he wasn’t a character in, but he wanted to be, he strived to be. And yet, no one else seemed to want that along with him. 

“I’m no one that they want around.” By now, all four of his arms were wrapped around him in a loose hug as he continued to approach the temple, knowing he’d find some much-needed solitude there. “They’re someone I still haven’t found. I’m me but I’m not what they need. ‘I’m them’ but I’m not sure I agree.”

He entered the house, his song still spilling out of him as he stepped into its quiet atmosphere, bereft of any of the Gems as they remained down at the house. Unsure of what else to do there, he climbed onto the loft, finding a small bedroom setup there, decorated with plenty of personality to spare. What caught his eye however, was the collection of photographs resting above the bed, each of them framed as they depicted several faces Stepper recognized, from the Gems, to Mabel, to Connie, and then of course, there was Steven and Dipper, just like they were in the photograph he pulled out of his vest to compare. Their smiles still bright, their eyes brimming with life, their identities a complete and utter mystery to him, just as they’d always been from the very start. 

“I want to be someone, but I can’t keep pretending to try,” He continued examining that photograph as he laid out on the bed before him, one that, just like the one he’d slept on last night, was far too small for him to fully fit on. “That their pieces fit into mine. Pieces I’m trying to find.”

He sighed in resignation, his sorrowful song starting to come to an end as he laid that photograph on his chest and closed his eyes in contemplative reflection. Reflection over an identity that still evaded him, a mystery he still hadn’t solved and likely never would. 

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be-”

“So I’m someone, I’m no one…”

“I’m me…”

He opened his eyes, letting out another solemn sigh as he did. He held the photo up again, staring at the boys depicted in it almost as if they were his own reflection. And if what everyone else kept saying was actually true, then they might as well have been. “...What am I going to do…?” he whispered to the picture, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly give him the answers he was seeking. 

And yet, that didn’t mean something else couldn’t. Stepper gasped in alarm, bolting upright on the bed as his gem, even as fractured and dull as it currently was, suddenly began to gently glow. That same glow overtook the large, star-bearing door on the far side of the house, and in an instant, that door slid open to reveal whatever lay beyond it. Confused, Stepper climbed down the loft, taking in first glimpses he got of the strangely pink expanse on the other side of the door, one that he couldn't help but step through to get a better look. 

“H-hello? Is anyone in here?” he called as he emerged into what looked like an endless forest, though by far the strangest one he’d ever seen. The trees towered far beyond what he could see, creating a canopy of leaves that were all inexplicably pink, just as much as the trunks of those trees and the almost cloudlike ground at his feet were. The entire wood was dead silent, yet mystically calm and peaceful, coming across as some sort of safe haven he couldn’t help but step further into, not even noticing as the temple gate sealed itself shut before disappearing entirely behind him. 

For a while, he simply walked around aimlessly, weaving between the towering trees as he listened to that void of silence echo all around him. Yet even still, that silence gave him no reprieve from his endless torrent of raging thoughts, each of which consumed him, taunted him, tore away at him to the point that he could see no semblance of peace, not even here, away from it all. 

He shook his head, glancing down at the photograph in his hand once more. And as he did, he couldn’t help but wonder what those boys were really like. Who they really were to begin with. Because maybe if he knew them, then perhaps he’d finally understand exactly why everyone was striving and struggling to get them back in the first place. “...I just wish I could actually meet both of you…” he muttered despondent as he began to put the picture away. 

Yet as he did, the pastel pink clouds at his feet suddenly began to shift, several of them swirling in from between the trees to take some sort of shape before him. Or rather, two shapes, each becoming more and more distinct with each passing second until they took on the fully-formed, fully-colored appearance of two boys: one with dark curly hair and a pink shirt bearing a large star and the other clad in a pine tree cap and a dark blue vest. 

Stepper gasped, stunned as he took a small step back from the pair, even as they both opened their eyes and offered him mutually friendly smiles and a unified warm greeting. “Hi, Stepper!”

At first, Stepper had no idea what to say as he looked between the two boys standing before him, the photograph he had of them finally slipping out of his hand entirely as he somehow managed to speak to them. “S-Steven? D-Dipper?” 

“Yeah!” Steven chimed, his tone bright and warm. “Who else would we be?”

“Are you ok, Stepper?” Dipper asked, his smile less wide but still apparent as he raised a curious eyebrow. 

Stepper shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he leaned up against the nearest tree. “I… I can’t believe it…” he whispered. “You’re… both actually here…”

“Yeah, we are!” Steven chuckled, as if what Stepper had just said was the funniest thing in the entire world.

“Why wouldn’t we be here?” Dipper asked, his hands in the pockets of his vest. “You wanted to see us, after all.”

“R-right…” Stepper nodded weakly, though he was quickly reinvigorated by a newfound idea. “Wait… you’re here. You… you aren’t gone! I-I could take you both back and I could finally show everyone that I’m me and not you!” Without any warning, Stepper grabbed both boys by the arm and began to drag them along through the woods. “C’mon! They’ll all be so glad to see you again, especially Mabel. She-”

Stepper froze as the boys’ hands fell out of his grip simultaneously. And at the same time, another flash, pain sparking from his gem, all throughout him as his thoughts went wild, rampant with things he had once said, with senseless sentences he didn’t understand. 

“We could do this--we could win this!” “I’m sorry!” “Maybe you should just break things off with me…” “I don’t want to break away from you!” “You mean so much to me!” 

“You stayed with me… so I’m staying with you…”

Once again, it was over far too quickly. There were pink cracks spreading to his lower hands now, but he hardly noticed them as he turned to see the boys standing behind him, both of their bodies glitching out even as they retained their upbeat smiles. “W-what?” Stepper reached toward them both, only for his hands to pass right through them as immaterial as they both currently were. With a gasp, he pulled away, and sure enough, both boys finally stabilizing as if nothing had even happened, to give him another refrain of their first hello. “Hi, Stepper!”

“Y-you… you’re not… real… are you?” Stepper guessed, his heart sinking as he already figured out the answer. 

“Uh… of course, we’re real,” Dipper said, apparently confused. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Yeah, we’re you, remember?” Steven asked, still wearing that constant knowing smile. 

“N-no,” Stepper began, his voice shaking as he collapsed against the tree once more. His upper hands were pressed tightly into his hair, his mind and heart both raging against each other in a storm, a hurricane he had absolutely no control over. “No, I don’t remember. I don’t remember you, I don’t remember being you!” With a heavy, agonized sob, he fell to his knees, to the soft, cloudy “ground” below him, his lower hands covering his face as he wept miserably. “I… I’m not you… I’m NOT… I’m… I…” His tears fell onto all four of his hands as he held them out to look at them mournfully, scornfully really. “I don’t know who I am… I don’t even know what I am...”

For what seemed like ages, the only thing that could be heard echoing through the pink trees was the sound of Stepper’s continued sobs, each one wracked with despair over an identity he’d never get to have, over the life he knew he’d never lead. When those sobs were finally interrupted however, Steven was the first one to do it. “We know what you are…” he said, his voice soft as he took one of Stepper’s hands and held onto it gently. 

“You’re our fusion,” Dipper added as he grabbed another hand. 

“You are us…” Steven agreed just as affirmatively. 

“No…” Stepper whimpered as he averted the pair’s intent gaze. “I… I’m not, I… I can’t be, I don’t even know who either of you are, I’m not-”

“Stepper,” Dipper spoke up as his grip on Stepper’s hand tightened. “Look at us. You may not remember us, but… deep down, I think you do know the truth.”

“Don’t you see?” Steven whispered warmly as he lifted his shirt up a bit. And there, resting squarely on his stomach, was the exact same pink gemstone that was sitting on Stepper’s own. “We’re the same. We are you. And you’re us.”

“I-I… I’m your fusion…” Stepper repeated with a dawning sense of realization as he looked at Steven’s gemstone. As he looked at Dipper’s clothes. As he looked at both of their faces and finally took note at just how similar both of them looked to his own. As he finally figured out that he wasn’t his own person at all. He never had been, not even for a single second. “A-and that’s all I am…” his sobs were softer now, still sad, but largely resigned to this fact. To the loss of any hope he might have once had that he could have been something more. “That’s all I’ve ever been… Only a fusion… all this time…”

“Only a fusion?” Dipper asked, incredulous. “You’re way more than just a fusion!”

“That’s right!” Steven readily agreed. “Whether we’re fused or not, you’re a part of us, Stepper. A very special part of us!”

“Yeah, you’re like… the living embodiment of our friendship,” Dipper explained as both him and Steven took a step closer to their fusion. 

“You represent the bond between us,” Steven added kindly. “And that’s not nothing. It’s something so important to both of us! It’s what makes you who you are!”

“B-But… I don’t even remember that bond…” Stepper muttered, tears still in his eyes as he shook his head remorsefully. “I don’t remember your friendship, I… I don’t remember either of you… I-I… I feel like I barely even remember me…”

“You will,” Dipper assured with a confident smile. “And don’t worry about what happens after you do. Because as long as we exist, then so will you.”

Stepper sighed, his tears finally stilling themselves as he suddenly pulled both Dipper and Steven close in a much-needed hug, one that they gently returned. Because even if neither of them were actually real, this had been all of the proof he needed to know that they once had been. That they could be real again. “And as long as I exist,” he promised, knowing that wherever the real Dipper and Steven were, whether locked tight away inside his mind or somewhere else entirely, they’d hear his newfound vow somehow. “Then you will too.” 

And then they were gone, dissipated into the very clouds they had both been composed of, nothing more than an empty memory he didn’t have. A memory that he at last knew was actually his, a memory he knew he had to reclaim. A memory he was going to reclaim.

Even if he had to rip his shield journal out of Bill Cipher’s hands himself. 

He found Mabel in the woods, not too far away from the Mystery Shack. She sat against a wide tree, her legs and her face both buried into her sweater as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Stepper knew she’d been out there for a few hours, at least, and even still, she was inconsolable, understandably so after the horrible things he’d said earlier. Still, he was resolved to set this wrong right first, in the hopes that it would be the start of fixing many more on the difficult road ahead. 

“M-Mabel?” he began, carefully taking a seat on the ground next to her. She didn’t even bother to look up at him as she instead pulled her sweater tighter around herself, hoping to block him out even more than she already had. Yet even so, he was determined to reach her all the same. “I… I’m sorry…” he said with a remorseful sigh. “What I said before, I… I wasn’t thinking, I-” He cut himself off, realizing just how insufficient his apology was really proving to be as Mabel showed no signs of responding to it. So instead, he opted to go in an entirely different direction instead. “Mabel, can… can you tell me more about them?” 

Caught off guard by this question, Mabel finally glanced up, tears streaking down her cheeks as she looked to him curiously. “A-about who?” she asked softly, sadly. 

“Dipper and Steven,” he answered, managing a small smile as he said their names. “You’ve already told me so much about who they know and what they’ve done, but… I still don’t feel like I really know much about who they are. So…?”

“Y-you want to hear about them?” Mabel sniffled, wiping away a few of her tears on the sleeve of her sweater. “Really?” Stepper nodded, his smile widening just a bit as he urged her onward. And so she gave him what he asked for in the best way she knew how. “W-well… Steven is… h-he’s just about the nicest person you could ever meet. He’s friendly and helpful and so much fun. He likes Crying Breakfast Friends and Ducktective and donuts and Lion and… he always helps people whenever they need it, no matter who they are.”

“He sounds like a pretty great person to know,” Stepper mused fondly. 

“Yeah…” Mabel glanced away, her cheeks warm with an affectionate blush as she thought of the young Gem. “He is… He’s… one of my best friends… I kind of wish he was maybe a bit more than that, but… that’s fine… we’re fine...” 

“What do you mean?” Stepper asked, confused. 

“N-nothing, it’s nothing,” Mabel shook her head with a small, wistful sigh. A sigh over what she knew could never be ever if they did manage to get Steven back. “Still, Steven is… well, he’s a real gem. Get it?”

“Yeah,” Stepper chuckled. “I think I do. So what about Dipper then?”

Mabel’s smile faded into returning grief at this. “Dipper…” she whispered, her tears coming back in full force as she suppressed a mournful sob over the brother she’d lost. 

“You said he’s your brother… right?” Stepper asked, hesitantly. 

Mabel nodded, holding back her tears to at the very least honor him by telling his story. “H-he’s my twin,” she corrected quietly. “My one and only bro-bro, the best one I could ever ask for… He’s a total nerd, but he’s brave, great with a sword, and he’s stubborn, oh gosh, is he stubborn! He’s probably the smartest person I know, or at least I think he is, and that’s saying something since I know people like Grunkle Ford and Pearl and Peri. But most of all… I know that no matter what… Dipper’s always there for me. He’s always got my back. Dipper and Steven both do… I-I… I miss them…”

Mabel finally broke down into another heartbroken sob, pulling her knees close to her chest in a renewed hug as she fruitlessly tried to chase that heartbreak away. And while Stepper wanted to comfort her with a secure embrace of his own, he decided to offer her another form of comfort instead. “I… I want to remember them…” he admitted, his voice soft, barely even a whisper as he said it. 

“W-what…?” Mabel asked, not sure if she’d heard him right. 

“I want to remember them,” Stepper said again, his tone firmer this time. “I want to be them again. For you, for them, a-and for me.”

“But, S-Stepper, I… I thought you wanted to be… you know… just you,” Mabel pointed out, briefly glancing away from the fusion. 

“I do,” Stepper confirmed with a warm, confident smile. “And Steven and Dipper, well… they’re who I am. So as long as they’re together, then… I’ll always be me. Right?”

Mabel nodded, choking on a small, yet happy whimper this time as she leapt at the fusion, pulling him into a tight, grateful hug. “Thank you, Ste-bro,” she whispered, practically dreaming of the moment she’d get to see Dipper and Steven as they truly were once more. 

Stepper smiled, easily returning her embrace as he solidified his resolve. He would do whatever he had to to keep that genuine smile on Mabel’s face. He would do whatever he had to go back to being who he had always been meant to be. “You’re wel-!” Stepper cut himself off with a gasp that bordered more on a scream, a sharp wave of sudden agony overtook his entire form. And this time, it was no mere flash, it was a torrent, a flood that overwhelmed his ever sense as pain flushed out from his gem to every single fiber of his being it seemed. 

“Stepper!” Mabel cried, terrified as the fusion suddenly collapsed out of her arms onto the forest floor. His body seized up with yet another burst of unbearable anguish, the cracks that had once only surrounded his stomach expanding their reach to the rest of his body as his vibrant pink eyes flashed brightly, erratically. His gemstone also flashed, dangerously so as even more color seemed to drain from it, as his face grew pale and beleaguered by the intense, yet strangely familiar anguish he had found himself engulfed in completely out of nowhere. “Stepper, w-what’s going on?! What’s wrong?!” Mabel asked, gripping one of his arms tightly as he wrapped them around himself. 

“I-I… I don’t know…” Stepper breathed tensely, another paid groan escaping him as his gem shot another burst of agony through him. “I-it… it won’t stop…”

Needless to say Mabel was panicking every bit as much as Stepper himself was, but even so she knew there wasn’t any time to waste. “C-come on,” she urged, slowly and carefully helping him properly sit up. “We gotta get you back to the shack.” Stepper didn’t argue, largely because he couldn’t as burdened by his lingering pain as he was. It was an immense struggle for him to even stand, but with a bit of doing he managed it, largely leaning against Mabel for support as they both began to inch their way back toward the shack, both of them awash in fear and dread for whatever could possibly befall the already tormented fusion next. 

“Is it finished yet?” Lapis asked impatiently as she continued pacing around the author’s room. Garnet, Amethyst, and Stan also stood by, anxiously watching as Ford, Pearl, and Peridot continued tinkering away at their latest invention. An invention that could, if all went right, get them to the Nightmare Realm and back with an all-too-important journal in hand. 

“It’s almost there…” Peridot noted as she checked over the readings on her tablet once more. “It seems as though we’ve locked onto the exact location of Cipher’s dimension after all. Where exactly did you get these coordinates from, Stanford?”

Ford flinched at this, looking to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, who only glared away from him bitterly in response. “Uh… l-lucky guess,” he answered quickly, falsely. “Now, let’s review the plan. Peridot’s going to stay behind to monitor the machine in case anything goes awry. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I will venture through our temporary displacement portal into the Nightmare Realm and-”

“Not without me, you’re not,” Lapis interrupted rigidly. “I’m not about to stay behind and let that Cipher guy get away with what he did to Dipper and Steven. He’s going to pay, I’ll make sure of that.”

The others all looked to Lapis in sligh concern at such a vicious threat, though it wasn’t really one any of them could argue with. After all Bill had done, there was no denying they all wanted to see him finally be brought to justice too. “V-very well then,” Ford nodded. “Then myself, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Lapis will-”

“I’m coming too,” Stan suddenly spoke up, his expression solid and resolved as he stepped forward. 

“Stanley, no, you can’t-”

“Can it, Ford,” Stan cut his brother off with a scowl. “Dipper’s my nephew too, you know. And neither him or Steven deserved what that creep did to ‘em. So I’m with frills here,” he nodded over to Lapis. “Let’s make this guy wish he’d never messed with our boys.”

“Yeah! Let’s get him!” Amethyst cheered in uproarious support. 

Garnet and Pearl also nodded their consent, leaving Ford with no choice but to agree. “Fine,” he said, stepping away from the now-finished machine. “I think it’s ready. But we still need to-”

“Help!” Mabel’s urgent cry rang through the shack, catching everyone’s attention instantly. “Please! I-it’s Stepper! Something’s wrong with-” Before she could even finish, the Gems were all already at the door she’d barely managed to pull Stepper in through before the fusion completely collapsed in pain, far too weak and worn to keep himself upright anymore. 

“W-what’s wrong with them?!” Lapis asked in apt alarm as Garnet rushed in to lift the languishing fusion into her arms. “What happened?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Mabel shook her head fearfully. “He was fine one second and then-”

“T-the cracks on his skin are back…” Pearl noted anxiously. “Could that mean his gem’s condition is getting… worse somehow?”

“Uh, his gem still looks like it did before,” Amethyst noted worriedly. “Ya know, aside from the whole flashing thing. T-that’s pretty new.”

“A-and concerning…” Peridot agreed with a fretful frown. 

“It’s not his gem,” Garnet theorized as she properly picked Stepper, who was largely out of it by this point, up. “It must be his memories.”

“His shield journal!” Ford interjected as him and Stan joined the group that was already making their way back to the author’s room. “I’ll bet anything that Bill’s probably doing something to it even as we speak. I hate to even think about it, but for all we know he could be… damaging it, and who knows what that might be doing to Stepper in turn.”

“Then that means there’s no time to waste,” Garnet said as she began to set Stepper’s listless form on the nearby couch. “We’ve got to go get that journal back now, before it’s too late. Peridot, open the portal up.”

“B-but we haven’t even had time to test it yet!” Peridot protested apprehensively as she lingered near the machine’s controls. 

“Who cares?!” Lapis shot back. “Dipper and Steven’s lives could be at stake! We’ve just gotta risk it!”

“Y-yeah!” Mabel agreed as she stayed close to Stepper’s side. “W-we’ve gotta go get his journal! We have to help him remember! He wants to remember now, r-right, Stepper?”

At this, Stepper opened his eyes, still dully glowing pink as he forced himself to sit up, even though his body protested with pain that still refused to go away. “Y-yes…” he said, his voice rough and tired, yet somehow firm and determined all the same. “I-I… need to remember them… I need my journal back…” He was shaking as he stood, though as he nearly fell one more, Garnet barely managed to catch him and hold him upright just in time. “W-we have to go… I… I have to go…”

“No, absolutely not,” Ford resiliently rejected the fusion’s resolve. “That’s completely out of the question, Stepper. You can’t possibly go back to the Nightmare Realm after what Bill-”

“I-it’s my journal,” Stepper protested, refusing to wait on the sidelines any longer. “Those are my memories… D-Dipper and Steven are me… a-and I’m going to get all of them back… n-no matter what happens…”

“That’s right,” Mabel solidly agreed, grabbing one of Stepper’s lower hands in complete support for this mission. “And this time, I’ve got your back, Ste-bro.”

Stepper offered her a thankful smile at this, though even so, the pair was still met with resistance from the others. “Kids, we appreciate your bravery, but this is far too dangerous for you,” Pearl shook her head. “You both need to stay here with Peridot where it’s safe. We’ll be back with the journal before you know it.”

“But-”

“No,” Garnet cut both of them off as she went to join the others near the machine. “You’re both staying here. That’s final.”

Neither Stepper nor Mabel had time to argue as Peridot flipped the switch on the machine, a bright light sparking around its central hub. From that light, a portal was quick to open up, bright and vibrant even as it connected to the dreadful place they all knew that had to go: the Nightmare Realm. “Is everyone ready?” Ford asked the others, all of whom had either taken up or summoned their weapons for whatever fray laid before them. “Good. Then let’s go.”

Knowing the portal would only remain open for a short window of time, the group marched onward into it, all six of them unflinchingly ready to face the dream demon and retake what he had stolen. However, as the last of them passed through the portal, Stepper and Mabel exchanged a brief nod, both of them prepared to act on the exact same idea as they ran forward toward the portal as it began to close. 

“W-wait!” Peridot shouted the moment she realized what the pair was doing, but by then it was too late. 

Because just before the portal could disappear out of existence entirely, Stepper and Mabel both leapt through it together, disregarding any sort of orders the adults had given them. They were going to face the Nightmare Realm, to face Bill Cipher himself, no matter how daunting or dangerous such a struggle might become. 

And as far as Stepper was concerned, he wasn’t about to come back until he had finally remembered exactly who he was supposed to be. 

To be continued...

Next: 

[icecoldtwin]

Intro 1 (feat. PAFK)

/Howdy all! This is the mod of this blog, running and keeping it organized for a friend until they decide to take over, if they do! Any and all asks and replies from Luci will be from them, but I’ll be coordinating to them through discord. 

I’ll be posting our introductory rp together to showcase Lucifer and how he gets into @punsandfuturekingsmen‘s Arthur’s town, where he’s currently staying. This is part 1! If you read it, please enjoy!

Link to all Intros:

1 (You are Here!)

2 

3

4

Lucifer scowls as he kicks at the back wheel of his bike without force, glaring at it hard before he sighs and shakes his head. He was a block away, just a block, from the auto garage he had been pointed to. And his stupid, beautiful bike died a block away. "Fucking scrap metal..." He grumbles before just giving in and pushing it the rest of the way, grumbling to himself the whole time even after he walked into the shop with his bike parked out front.

~

Arthur felt like the air was colder when he meandered in, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe the heat had been turned down. His uncle gave him a look from behind the counter at seeing him, but Arthur waved him off. He wasn't going to let his uncle pay him to sit around and tinker in his back room. That wouldn't keep the shop running. Arthur shuffled a little until he could see who was waiting. "Oh hey. You guy. You're here for the bike, right? Can you give me a rundown?"

~

Lucifer looks at Arthur and raises an eyebrow immediately once he looks at him. "Fuck happened to you?" He asks in a small grumble before huffing softly. No it wasn't his business.....but he still wanted to know. "Dunno. It started stuttering down a few roads back then just shut off completely about a block away."

~

Arthur frowned at him. "It’s been a long few weeks." That was really all he wanted to say, and he clapped his hands together with a soft sound, and rubbed them. "Anyways. You have the keys? I'll take a look. Sounds like you might have a loose fuse."

~

Lucifer grunts softly and holds the keys out to him as he eyes him. ".....Are you even....medically able to work? No concussion?"

~

Arthur snorts. "All due respect to ya, I won't hurt your bike, if that's what you're worried about. My head is fine. If I couldn't work, the boss-man here wouldn't let me within a hundred feet of the building." He took the keys in hand, finger through the ring, and swirled them a moment as he made his way back to the garage.

~

Lucifer scowls and rolls his eyes as he follows after him, tugging off his helmet and fixing his hair with a hand pass.

"Well ex-fucking-cuse me for being concerned someone who looks like a mummy is about to work on my only way of getting around."

~

Arthur didn’t seem perturbed. Annoyed customers that were a bit rough-around-the-edges weren’t uncommon in the shop. "Hey man, I get it. You're concerned for your baby." He hummed as he made his way to where the bike was resting. There were a few chairs around and when he heard the sound of creaking leather behind him, he snagged one for the guy to sit in. "I'm not judging. But I promise the shape I'm in might be rough, but it's still good." He straddled the bike to turn it on before immediately frowning.

~

Lucifer huffs and straddles one of the chairs to rest his arms on the back of the chair as he watches Arthur.

"I guess you're the expert. Still, just....I dunno, don't mess it up more."

~

Arthur's frown was still on, and he touched the metal with his real hand. "Hey. This is like... really cold? How long have you been here again? I thought you just got in."

~

Lucifer tenses just slightly and narrows his eyes.

".....Is it? Yeah I got here like, a few minutes ago but it's not like it's super-hot outside. It did just stop a ways away too, had to fucking walk it here."

~

"Yeah but if it was running for a while it shouldn't be this cold." Arthur’s expression was a thoughtful one. "That might be your problem too. I mean, the engine gets super-hot and if you don't let the bike warm up first, the metal doesn't expand to where it should. The pistons will overexpand because they get hot from the bike engine running, but the rest of the metal hasn't warmed up enough to expand first. So that affects the cylinder bores and you can end up with scuffing and maybe even seizures in--"

He had been talking, clearly invested in what he was saying, but when he glanced up at the biker, his voice dropped out.

Arthur blinked. "Uh.....seizures in. uh. that area. Which... can cause parts to break. And your oil flow might not be the best which can... cause other things to break because it's not properly... um. Warm. Enough to circulate, I mean."

~

Lucifer blinks as he listens - most of it going right over his head. He was never that great with machines like this, that was always-... that was never his own strong suit. But he tries to listen.

At least until Arthur looked at him and he raises an eyebrow at his look before scowling.

"So i just am not letting it warm up enough before driving?"

~

"Uh.... probably." Arthur saw his scowl and forced himself to look away, though he did shoot another quick glance back. "I mean. Metal is affected by temperature a lot and it can change the size and shape. So if part of the bike is super cold and part is super hot... They're built to connect together kinda perfectly. Like a 3d puzzle. But a puzzle won't go together the right way if some pieces are too small and some are too big. And these pieces move, so when they don't fit it just-- makes things mess up even more."

~

Lucifer scowls more but this time less because of Arthur and more at himself. So...he was basically ruining his bike.

"Gotcha. So.. basically parts of it are too cold while others are hot."

~

"Basically." Arthur hummed. He chanced another glance at the guy. "If the oil gets cold it doesn't move as well too. So that can muck up parts that need it if you head out too soon. And I already mentioned the other stuff. If it's running this cold? I could see that causing issues. But I'll see what broke so I can get it fixed up. That's just more a future reference kinda thing."

~

"Right. Well. Guess it's good to know to try and keep the thing from breaking down again."

Lucifer hums softly, thinking. He'd have to possibly get more layers he supposed. Annoying. But it would help hopefully...

~

"Yeah exactly." Arthur left the bike, grabbing the handle of one of the rolling toolboxes. He came back and started undoing some of the parts so he could have a look inside. "Hey uh.... can I get your name?"

~

Lucifer watches him closely, resting his chin in his hand and his elbow on the back of the chair. ".....Lucifer. And yours?"

~

"Oh-- Arthur. Arthur Kingsmen." Arthur smiled at him. "Like the name on the front. Uh... you look...familiar. Have you uh. been here in Tempo before?"

~

Lucifer raises an eyebrow and glances down at himself.

"....Pretty sure I'd be more then 'familiar' with how I look. Don't exactly have one of those faces, ya know? But no. Never been here before."

~

"Well-- i guess that's true." Arthur rubbed at his neck with a wince. "You just uh... look like someone I know. Knew. Sorry." Arthur focused on his work instead, swallowing hard.

~

Lucifer blinks in confusion and stares.

".....Well, never met anyone who looked like me while I've been traveling. Nice to know I'm not the only giant around I guess."

Lucifer hums as he watches him, frowning lightly.

~

"-- Yeah." Arthur swallowed again. "It's a bit uncanny. But yeah. I hope you like Tempo. If you're here for a bit I might suggest the pizza place in town for food? Or if you like spicy things, maybe Pepper Paradiso. It's really good. Good milkshakes, too." He only paused in offering it, given Lucifer’s look.

It... might make them sad. But they needed the money right now, too.

~

"....Thanks I suppose. Dunno how long I'll be staying. Don't really have a place to stay or much money to my name right now."

More like almost none. Hopefully he had enough to cover this but it would be close he was sure....He just hoped a part didn't need replacing that they had to order a part for.

~

"That's too bad." Arthur frowned. "Hopefully this won't take too long then. But uh-- nevermind." Arthur rubbed at his neck again with another wince, leaning into the bike.

~

"Thanks at least. I'll keep it in mind in case I do stay."

Lucifer says before frowning as he watches him.

"You sure you're doin alright?"

~

Arthur nodded. "Oh-- yeah I'm fine. Just forget I'm sore without thinking." He hummed. "No worries. Won't mess up your bike." He leaned further in. "If you do, I think there's a cheap place near here to stay. Tempo doesn't get a lot of people passing through."

~

"Yeah? Where at? I might as well look it up to see if I can actually afford it, just in case."

Lucifer says and blinks as he realizes where his gaze had been going. Well. He could at least appreciate good looking things. Even if he wouldn't say it.

~

"You have a smartphone?" Arthur asked as he worked, feeling the guy's eyes on him. He really cared about his bike being taken care of right, didn't he? "I can get you a link to their site you can check out."

~

"Yeah I do. I need to connect to your wifi though… saving data, ya know?"

He actually didn't even have data. Nor did he actually own this phone. But....the guy didn't need it anymore. So it was fine.

~

"Oh yeah." Arthur glanced over at him. "Clients get to use it, so you're good. I think the password is on that board behind you? If it's not, I'll ask Lance." He pulled off a piece of the bike, sufficiently loosened, and set it next to him on a creeper.

"Mmm.....yeah. Your bearing seized. Looks like insufficient oil lubrication. Which would make sense if it's running cold and can't circulate. Looks like the journal needs replacing. The crankshaft got too hot. And I don't think we have any in the shop right now so we'll have to order one."

~

Lucifer glances behind him and puts in the password, frowning slightly. He'd need to charge this soon… he didn't wanna fry another phone trying to charge it his own way...

"....Order one? Ah....any fucking idea of the ballpark of how much that would be?"

He grumbles, sounding angry - but not really at Arthur more just the situation.

~

If Arthur noticed he was annoyed, he didn't respond to it, focused as he was. "Mmm.... it might be a few days to a week probably?" The place we get them from is a bit aways. But It shouldn't be too long. And journals are cheaper than ball-bearings at least. I can probably get you an estimate at about.... forty, fity ish? For the part and replacing it. Since we'll have to disassemble parts of the engine."

~

Lucifer flinches. Well. That was about 30 more dollars then he had. And that included trying to get a motel room to keep up appearances...

"Well shit....since I'll be stuck in town for a while it seems....know any places that are hiring?"

~

Arthur paused, before nodding, swallowing something warm and thick. "Are you good at waiting tables? Or with bookstores...? Go to Tome Tomb or Pepper Paradiso. Tell them Arthur sent you. They're uh... some of the staff isn't available, so they could use some extra hands, I'm sure."

~

Lucifer makes a small face. That sounded like a lot of people interaction....which most jobs he supposed are. He hated having to be 'customer friendly' though.

"Guess I don't really have much fucking choice...." He grumbles to himself, glaring at his phone as the room drops a little in temperature.

~

Arthur shivered. Someone must've opened the door to let in more cold air. "Well. What kinda jobs are you good at?"

~

Lucifer thinks, trying to think of what he could say that would be believable without seeming impossible.

"Well...I'm strong as shit after taco bell, i guess?"

~

"After....taco bell?" That made Arthur look up, giving him a confused glance. Was that a weird meme he hadn’t heard? You had the power of god and anime on your side, after a crunchwrap surpreme?

"I have no idea what that means. But the restaurant might be able to put you in the back to help move boxes? Or maybe check with my uncle. He's in with some guys who do construction. So he might be able to get you on a job if he likes you."

~

"I dunno, heard it was a saying."

Lucifer says with a shrug. Not like he ever ate taco bell to fully understand exactly what that meant.

"…I could probably do construction. I guess I'll ask, see which one even works...see which one doesn't fuckin ghost me." He says with a small snicker.

~

Arthur raised an eyebrow at him, but shrugged. "Tempo is pretty small. You probably won't need to worry about that. You wanna keep your bike here in the meantime?" He hopped off with a stretch. "I can give you a lift to that motel if you want. Though if you do some work for Lance and his buddies, he might let you crash on his couch and save a few bucks."

~

Lucifer frowns as he thinks, staring down at his phone. "....yeah i guess I'll leave my bike here. And I'll see if...Lance, right? See if he has any jobs. But I'll go to the motel later."

Won't have to pretend as much if he's not staying with someone else after all.

~

Arthur nods. "Whatever floats your boat. Lance is in the main part of the building. The guy who looks like me but with a beard." Arthur hummed, pointing back towards the front where he'd first come in.

~

"Ah...short guy who was behind the counter?" Lucifer asks as he stands up, snagging his helmet to rest against his hip.

~

"Don't call him short to his face if you wanna get a job." Arthur laughed.

~

Lucifer snorts with a small smirk.  "Fair enough. Don't want to insult my possible future fucking boss."

He says with a smirk as he turns to walk back to the other room.

~

Arthur looks back at him as he heads out. He'd comment on the number of fucks the guy was giving, but he himself didn't have any. And it wasn't like Lance wasn't used to that kinda talk in his circles. "Good luck with that."

~

Lucifer waves a hand over his shoulder to let him know he heard but doesn't do much more than that. He really hoped Lance did have some sorta job so he didn't have to do…retail.

He didn't want to have to deal with almost punching another dick wads face in while working.

[pokeshippingflashfic]

Hi! Someone sent this request to mythgirlimagines and I loved what she came up with. Could you come up with something else or expand on her idea please? :) link: mythgirlimagines(.)tumblr(.)com/post/190057630070/hello-could-you-do-some-hurtconfort-for-ash-and

(I went to ask @mythgirlimagines for use/expansion of her headcanons before writing this. Here’s hoping I do it justice for everyone. Not really sure what to expand on but I don’t mind fleshing out the situation in prose. PS: User @nebli suggested the stories Ash tells of his younger!childhood. I’m bad at headcanons so I asked for help.)

You practically bite into your own arm to muffle the deep inhale of brisk late night air as it filters into your lungs, bracing yourself stock still behind a grand oak with easiest access to the stream nearby your group’s campsite.

Your redheaded companion is sitting with her back to you at the edge of the water, unoccasionally sniffling and shoulders heaving in a motion you’re semi-familiar with because, hey, it’s not like you’ve never cried before in your life.

Oh. Misty’s… crying? 

That’s… that was new. Or rather, new-ish. You could scarcely remember her shedding a tear or few during the last few years on the road, though you think there was something back in the hidden village where you met Bulbasaur, and then there was the Lavender Tower… (How do you even remember any of that anyway?)

You shake yourself from your reverie, returning to present thought process.

You’d wondered why she was missing from the campsite. And yet you told yourself you were only getting up to use the nearest foliage as your bathroom and not to search for her in the darkness while all other companions (your Pokemon as well as resident caretaker Brock, returned to your group after his temporary departure in the Orange Islands) slept the night peacefully away… but here you are almost ten minutes later after walking obstinately farther than was needed to relieve yourself.

You should have remained wrapped up snug in your sleeping bag.

After all, what are you supposed to do with this? Though you loathe to admit it, you can barely handle Misty’s ire and passion and weird girly personality in any other instance; what are you supposed to do with a Misty who’s crying alone in the middle of the night?

You sigh as faintly as possible, a few memories fluttering to the surface of your consciousness in response to that question.

Misty following you out to the deck of a large cruise liner and begging to know why you look so troubled, offering you rather obvious advice in hindsight… but it sure helped to know she understood. 

Misty reminding you that Butterfree is leaving to start a family of his own with his new mate and you’d better take this chance to say your goodbyes while you have it… because that was more important than sulking over losing a friend.

Misty stalking rigidly into your assigned guest room at Indigo Plateau after your loss in the league, strong-arming you out of your brooding state.

Misty appearing over you after your hometown battle with Gary, a faint expression of sympathy flitting across her face before she points out that you’d better get a move on and start your trek to Johto if you don’t want to fall even further behind your childhood rival.

You roll your eyes so intensely in response to all these rather telling signs that you feel a bit dizzy a moment later.

Misty is crying alone in the middle of the night… and you know what you have to do.

But how to go about it? By the grace of all gods, it seems she hasn’t noticed your presence yet (though it’s assumed that she’s rather preoccupied). However the last thing you want is to set her off down the path of righteous fury and end up her victim.

Tsking to yourself, you squint your eyes shut again, brow creased in frustration. You’re thinking too much into this. It’s not like you to dedicate so much time to mollifying Misty of all people.

Instinct takes over and you bungle your way loudly through the foliage, sure to get her attention, making it look like an accident.

“Oh, uh, Misty. Funny running into you here.”

Stellar improvisation from the future number one Pokemon Master in the world. 

However if she senses anything amiss in your approach, she doesn’t address it. Perhaps because she busies herself instead with wiping furiously at her splotched red cheeks, hiccuping and doing her utmost to rub the dry red from her eyes.

“I was just going to the bathroom,” you continue, “I didn’t know you were up too.”

Despite knowing your best option is to play innocent bystander… a twinging pierce briefly tugs in your chest over the thought of lying to her. But there’s no time to dwell, nope, gotta dig in whether she catches on or not.

“So anyway… Uh, is something wrong?” Yep, that sounded natural. Well, it’s not that it didn’t but you are suddenly overtly aware that you’ve never honestly asked this question of her since the start of your journey together. Instead the question was always a condescending rebuff in the middle of a fight.

Lips pursed, gaze averted, “… Of course not, Mr. Pokemon Master,” she responds in a brusque yet weak murmur. It’s not the least bit convincing. Well, you weren’t exactly expecting the confrontation to be a cakewalk…

Your initial approach had been sudden - element of surprise enough to distract her from her potential mortifying rage at being discovered in so compromising a demeanor. Over the past minute or so, you’ve cautiously edged yourself across the clearing, eventually coming to a stop just behind her before easing yourself into a sitting position at her side.

Welp… here you both are, you couldn’t help thinking warily, fingers drumming softly against your own knees, waiting for something to give.

Oh, and give something did as the redheaded girl beside you, in a much too far removed reaction compared to her previous attempt at concealing her despondence, suddenly leans forward, presses her rather wet and beet-colored face into your neck, one hand curling loosely around the hem of your sleeve to keep you there as she releases a sharp bawl.

Whoa, wait, mayday! you shriek internally, eyes wide and scalp and ears flushing uncomfortably hot. Alarms are ringing in uproarious, disorienting fashion and the panic sets in so instantaneous and intense that it’s enough to make you feel positively ill.

This doesn’t happen. This has never happened before between you two! What’s she thinking? What’re you supposed to do?!

It’s life or death, you know, as your instincts kick in, the hand closest to her reaching up and brushing the back of her neck, grasping her opposing shoulder and pulling her ever so slightly closer to you while she continues weeping.

It’s hard to tell if this is the right move or not. True, Misty hasn’t made any negative maneuver against you but she also hasn’t given you any signal that her mood is improving. Doing your best to smother your impatience, you internally count the seconds, minutes as they pass, staring vaguely into the dimly lit distance while the teenage girl beside you carries on grossly using your sleeve as her new personal tissue.

Ick, the thought crosses your mind before you push it aside and barrel forward, unable to take the awkward tension anymore… But what to do about it?

“Ya know, when I was a kid,” there’s a brief pause when, bless her, Misty offers a skeptical glance between sniffles, “Uh, a younger kid, Gary and I were racing around the outskirts of Pallet and I tripped over him and landed in this lake nearby. There was a school of Magikarp swimming by and one of ‘em stopped to slap me in the face with its tail ‘cause I disrupted their formation.”

Despite her gloom, you hear a distinct snort in response to your story. Feeling invigorated by your success, you continue with your distracting babble. At the same time you bide your time coming up with your next contribution. You want to help her but you also don’t wanna offer her any ammunition she can use for blackmail later on.

“Once, there was this time when my mom was super busy with work and I was worried she was gonna get sick so I tried to make her some homemade juice using fruits and veggies from our garden. It, uh… I wasn’t paying attention and it ended up all over the kitchen,” you finish rather lamely, wistful as the memory came to mind.

This time you’re rewarded with a faint, faltering giggle. It impresses you just how much making someone - Misty - feel a little better can fill you with so much pride.

Still, though the actual crying begins to subside, her features are contorted with a sense of mourning.

“So…” you try again apprehensively, “are ya ever gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

She stiffens, shrugging then shaking her head. A fleeting question crosses your mind. What’s more important; your curiosity over what may have happened or the intent of encouraging a friend when they’re feeling low…?

Of course, you know the answer in a heartbeat.

“Okay well… are you ok - uh, will you be okay?”

A pause, one final brush between her face and your sleeve before she pulls a few inches away with a sigh.

“Nngh, yeah… I’ll be… I’m better now. I mean, not one hundred percent,” she elaborates at the sight of your raised brow, “but better than I was b - before you came along.” She finishes her statement with her facial features arranged in a complicated expression.

“I guess I should thank you, Ash.” And, unable to help herself, she adds, “Who woulda known you’d be good company in an emotional crisis?”

Ah, well if she can throw out a line like that then she must be telling the truth.

“Well, you know…” you reply almost bashfully, puffing up your chest before sobering up. “But I’m glad… that you’re okay. So wait, I guess you’re heading back to bed now?”

“Oh, um…” She appears slightly troubled over such a probing suggestion, buying time, focusing on wiping her cheeks dry. “I still feel a little restless. I’ll probably just stay here and stare out at the water. You know how much I love this kinda view.”

“Then I’ll stay too,” you reply automatically, so much so that your eyes widen, shocked at what your mouth had decided to commit you to without conscious thought. “I mean... if that’s okay.”

She blinks, gaze never leaving your person, though she moves her cursory glance up and down as if checking for remorse or bad intentions behind your offer. And yet, notwithstanding your awe, you find you don’t regret your decision. Finally her survey softens and, taking things a step further, she resituates herself so that she can rest her head against your shoulder again.

The initially jarring predicament lulls into acceptance. You find that you rather like don’t mind relaxing with Misty in such close proximity, especially when she’s in a good mood though, in retrospect, you wouldn’t mind it if she wasn’t either, provided you were in the process of helping her. 

You won’t talk about it tomorrow but you also quite enjoy the way your arms bump together before she laces her fingers with your own, spending the final twenty or so minutes of your time together wordlessly holding hands.

Some say love is truest when you know as much as you can about the other person… but on this night, in this instance, love is respecting a boundary and offering whatever support you can when it’s needed despite your ignorance.

(Yeah, by the time the two of them do head back to the campsite, Ash is practically ready to wet himself. Lol. And, as a reminder, this blog is currently - and always but definitely currently since I’m trying to get back into writing - accepting new requests via ask! Please view the rules and FAQ as needed!)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i was gonna send an ask like "have you considered: 'anger is a type of geography' + 4x11" and then i checked and you actually had! but if you feel like considering it More then here's a free space

oh thanks for these Layers of Allyship re: humoring my repeated [anger geography sign tapping] and checking for things and then sending me asks about it all to invite yet more Consideration.........yeah i feel like i mentioned it at least once in tags or smthing lol??? but here comes yet more consideration / giving it an In The Text post if that doesn’t exist already yet either

the Anger Is A Type Of Geography Quote From Hanif Abdurraqib in question for everyone’s reference:

anger is a type of geography. the ways out of it expand the more you love a person. the more forgiveness you might be willing to afford each other opens up new and unexpected roads. and so, for some, staying angry at someone you love is a reasonable option. to stay angry at someone you know will forgive your anger is a type of love, or at least it is a type of familiarity that can feel like love.

like, yeah sure what with winston originally talking to lauren and mafee about this and taylor Happening to walk in on it, he probably wasn’t necessarily planning to go off on his Indignant Monologue to taylor right then and there, but the fact remains that he was willing to do so, and i definitely think that that wouldn’t be the case if he didn’t have this Respect for them and think that they have respect for him in turn, and if he didn’t also think that that mutual respect is holding hands with mutually valuing each other. like, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t think taylor might actually listen / consider what he says, and he wouldn’t even Want to say it if he didn’t give a shit about them, because he’s not just complaining about “um i simply ask for more money,” it’s about the fact he Feels Disrespected by the implied deprioritization of tmc employees and that the way this (false lol) choice is presented to them being Unfair and disingenuous. like, you could (and im sure most viewers do) interpret the other stuff he says as just him backing up his “Pay Me” argument when all he really cares about is the Pay Me part, but a) that’s not how We roll and b) doesn’t make sense with winston being just as happy as anyone else in 4x12with taylor Apologizing re: many of these 4x11 points, despite them not saying they were gonna change the Bonus situation lol, and c) it Does make sense to think that the Mutual Respect between taylor and winston matters to him due to [see: the rest of this post]

well wait lol first of all yeah sure the money Must matter to him b/c nobody could possibly be in the world of High Finance as a passion project (except for taylor apparently lmao cuz i mean we know that the Real reason they are determined to stick with hedge fundery (and involved in the first place) is b/c they are the best part of the show and elevate all the other Lesser Elements of it as well) and also we can figure that this was probably winston’s first year working a Big Time Official Job and he doesn’t have the savings that other ppl might when they’ve been in the business multiple years, and this seems to be backed up by lauren referring to him as they guy who’d be the First One Smothered by either taking a bonus cut by 40% or not getting that bonus at all until a whole other year, which, like he seems to also imply, is also Unhelpful in that surely these investment finance people turn around and invest their own finances, and Bonus Now is better than Bonus Then b/c.....interest....Long Shares.......and also just like tfw you want your job to pay you.......but anyways Seriously [next paragraph]

cuz winston *must* be working at Taylor Mason Capital b/c he really values working with taylor more than, say, wanting a job that will make him the most money, or will necessarily look the best on a resumé if he’s just looking to up his stats, b/c yeah, this is sure an unlikely opportunity for him where this is what we’re assuming is his First Fancy Job and he’s getting to be the Top Quant right out of the gate, but he must also know that like, it’s still like “oh so you were head quant at a brand new fund :/” and also he must know that there’s a Risk with said fund and he might even end up having been head quant at a new fund that burned out really quick, super impressive........and, we Know that winston *knows* how good he is at what he does, even though he keeps getting dunked on for that like he’s sooo conceited lol like. he IS that good, sorry!!!! why should he downplay it, we don’t actually see him being one of these shitheads with a fragile ego trying to prove themselves Superior or whatever.....ANYWAYS yeah the point being that, winston claiming to have a lot of offers already in the interview might very well Not be any kind of bluff, and he’d surely know that he could rise through the Quant Ranks quickly enough at some other fund even if he started out as anything but Our Main Quant at those places.......and if Getting Tf Paid Top Dollar was really his primary concern, “go with the brand new hedge fund which doesn’t have Established History / Experience / Clout and has the one big investor but who knows what’ll come next and any business that Just opened is not your safest bet even if you trust in your own skill and in that of your ceo and you Know that even if you’re not immediately destroyed, funds will be tighter / of a Lesser Amount than at a bigger established fund”.........the now-dramatic-irony of him talking about how those Tech Firms Out West pay guarantees, not bonuses.........like, when he was trying to get onboard with axe cap, he was obvs interested in trying to leverage to get Paid more, which is like, not necessarily winston wanting to be a trillionaire but also just how stupidly everyone’s supposed to like Play The Game of negotiating / leveraging / calling your employer’s bluff to get a certain starting salary / get a raise or whatever, dumb as hell baked-in Requirement........discuss your wages with coworkers gang!!! anyways. and but Also winston makes it clear when interviewing for axe cap that Working With Taylor Mason has appeal, even if he’s flippant about it, cuz he’s flippant about all of it cuz that’s his shtick here.....

like, when it’s Taylor Alone who calls him back eventually, he’s fine with meeting up with Just Them, and later on meeting up with Just Them (and the other quants, rip) again, and agrees to work in this lil basement evidently Not on axe cap premises b/c he’d been at axe cap’s offices and this is Not That Place......and yeah him talking about taylor selling axe on using his algorithm in kompenso sure implies that winston has this whole time Assumed that all of this was still ultimately in the service of axe cap.......and he was apparently fine with reporting to Taylor Alone and not getting to rub elbows with any other higher-ups, and he’s obviously pleased well enough with a “good work :)” from taylor and isn’t like “hey be sure to tell axe & co i did this singlehandedly etc” or anything, and he’s not really complaining about the whole “work in this lil basement Not at axe cap hq with taylor mason dropping in at least once to check on you and that’s about it” situation, which obviously is hardly that “You’re A Valued Axe Cap Employee” treatment one might expect if they wanted that.....winston’s glad that taylor called him, he’s trying to appeal to them and what *they* want to see rather than how he tried to go for what he thinks [a place like axe cap] would wanna see like he did in the interview, he’s showing up at this weird basement rendezvous to be on a 3 person quant team of taylor’s, he’s fine to not only do this on his own but also accept those increased demands that make it a [fifty(? or 15, either way) phds would work on this]-Level task, and then he’s glad just to have taylor’s approval at the end of the day.......they Wouldn’t have been able to promise him any leverage of “please do your best work on this” with like, promotions / clout within axe cap or axe-cap-levels of Lots Of Payment b/c like, well taylor wouldn’t outright lie anyways but also Especially wouldn’t if they wanted to keep this quant around for tmc, so winston must never have been asking about that kind of thing

and then, bless your Missing Scene fic but there’s zero canon content re: “uh how/when did taylor break it to winston that this algorithm was for their own fund actually and btw do you want to work for that fund instead,” but presumably it went smoothly enough, he was already happy to Effectively work for them alone apparently even if he still thought that yeah, he was working for taylor who was working for axe........just Yeah altogether it’s evident that “Working With Taylor Mason” must matter more to him than “working with any Other big name financiers” or “getting paid as much as he can get” or “raking in that clout asap to leverage with Other jobs or just like, in general.”

and then of course you have the fact that taylor is Recognizing his ability by calling him back and offering him this job, going “despite your demeanor your skills are superior” and “those other two were sweet, but you’re more talented, i need you,” [praying hands emoji], and giving him this Second Chance and entrusting him with this Solo re: building this algorithm which, unbeknownst at the time to him, is really this linchpin of their hopes & dreams of launching their own secret fund here, and really they must’ve been planning from the start to keep him around if he succeeded b/c it’s not like the algorithm and their whole planned Quant Department wouldn’t continue to be integral to the fund’s success, it wouldn’t really be ideal to have this guy be the one to build an algorithm to reel in an investor who’s working in.....wait for it......billions of dollars here, and then be like, okay bye dude. they must Know how good he is same as winston knows how good he is, and him being Head Quant from the very start was surely never just about mase cap having precious few employees at the very start of things....they could’ve like given him that Lead Position temporarily or whatever, they’re ceo. but they really do value him as like, maybe he doesn’t have the ideal ~personality~ for what fucking ever, either for being Properly Assertive and Impressively Flashy like axe cap might want, or just easy to work with, which taylor would care more about than axe cap would lol, but yknow, they value his Abilities and surely they must also value his efforts re: I Promise To Try and re: his really singlehandedly making that brilliant amazing algorithm which evidently did the trick as they hoped it would

and then......dare i get to the Emotional part of things, the Interpersonal....the anger and the love...............

i mean already when winnie n tay are having their post-math-meetup meetup, aka the first time they’re meeting After their disastrous really-first meeting aka the Interview, you have winston taking a way more grounded approach to this “yeah i want to work for you please accept me” process which is obviously in response to what he thinks Taylor wants from him based on the mess of the interview, evident thanks to winston telling them that he’s been thinking about all of that.......and i mean, part of taylor’s whole thing is they have that grounded approach pretty much always lol, (or try to....Want to...), but they sure seem to Also be bringing this effort to Accommodate him based on the hot mess of the interview, wherein yeah they wouldn’t’ve expected to have to ever interact again with this person they were dunking into the trash (and of course from that Meta Perspective, the scene when originally written was meant to be winston’s only appearance ever), but they really seem to also be bringing a more dialed down approach, letting him talk first and going along with his “you ever done math meetup” intro until he’s the one who changes the subject, and i really see that Head Tilt as a sympathetic one lol, not necessarily like “awww :’0″ levels lmao but still like. they Know he’s likely to have some [emotional vulnerability] re: what last went down between them since they weren’t especially gentle with him then, and they like, demonstrably give a shit about that fact lol. they’re also not just wholly swinging in the other direction to make up for it or anything lol but they’re Also making it clear that, yknow, they’re willing to work with him For Real, not just in this “are you willing to work for me, y/n, okay great” way, but in this way of [winston making an effort to make things easier on taylor] and [taylor making an effort to make things easier on winston] which is already playing out here between them.

and the whole matter of winston’s seemingly genuine Dismay at messing up even part of this exchange, i.e. the “[wince-ston] damn it, sorry,” like, sure maybe he just really wants the job, but [see: everything above about how he Must primarily want to work with taylor re: wanting any of these jobs lol] and, after all, he “oh shit, sorry”s @ them when he’s well-established as their Head Quant in ep 4x08 and generally shows this directed-at-self displeasure at thinking he’s messed something up even without some clear “your (potential) job is on the line” element......he just Doesn’t Want To Disappoint Taylor Themself, doesn’t need some particular fear of further repercussion behind that.

and speaking of Lack Of Fear, you Know we love to point out how kompenso (and really winston’s :/ + “sure, why not :\”ness at the end of 3x09 lol) demonstrates that winston isn’t afraid of taylor either as an [intense and unusually-demeanor'd person who Does apparently strike people as Scary(tm) sometimes lol] or as this Esteemed Rising Star Axe Cap Higher-Up or simply as his de facto boss.........he’s not raring to tell them that the other quants bailed b/c of his own disapproval lol, but he’s honest as soon as they deduce as much, the tone of “fine, yes, big time” + his standing up to get even closer to them instead of just shaking in his desk chair like :c pls forgive me obviously does Not convey that he’s terrified of them, and then the rest of that interaction jsut being like, ugh god so fucking essential, they’re both able to stand face to face and be like I Am Looking Directly At It / I Do See It re: each other, both of them just continuing to be Honest and Direct with each other, God.....taylor might’ve swatted his metaphor away but he was not all that put out, and then they’re Using His Own Language by bringing it back three seconds later, like, yeah sure at this point they have a vested interest in this individual quant (the only one left lol) accepting this Demanding Task, but a) they’re not exactly playing it cool on that front, they Just said “i need You,” it’s unlikely that this is just some all manipulative tactic here by encouraging his metaphor after all lol and that’s hardly their style anyways even if they Can be strategic(tm) about things, and b) they’ve Just Previously adopted his own words lol with winston having said “as for not being a dick” and taylor saying “you backslid into being a dick” (combining His Phrasing with Theirs aka “if you promise not to backslide”....god!!!!!!)

and so then yeah to top it all off winston even ~pushes his luck~ lol by being a lil deliberately rude re: his ex-coworkers lmaoo, and you get taylor’s Reaction to being sort of tested here to be Closing Off Their Expression (speaking of....their tiny lil Eyebrow Twitch when winston infers that he’s making something to pitch to an investor.....god!!!!!! a) winnie n tay and b) emmy) and making it clear that their interest in him acting Easy To Work With was a practical matter......winston watching them go up the stairs, taylor looking back at him as they Ascend and he gets back to his desk.....jesus

the point being!!! they vibe with each other so well by Kompenso already and just *get* how the other operates and communicates and Neither Of Them are offput by the other, Neither Of Them are unwilling or uninterested in meeting each other where they’re at, and each exerting this effort to really work with each other........and how winston is Not intimidated by taylor as either someone who’s so ~weird~ and can be so Intense, or as someone who is his boss lol........which yknow we always also point out as Important re: tayston developing from this point, where taylor would be careful in how they approach winston about fwbship but would feel like it was even reasonable to consider it in the first place thanks to not having to feel like oh he definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest if he wanted to say no / wasn’t sure

also Yeah It’s Billions but winston freely swearing with the F-word when they’re assessing the completed algorithm, which taylor has no reaction to lol.......the both of them being Hyped about this algorithm lol, like, Of Course they’d both be, but it’s fun :)

and then 4x03, with winston not acting terrified about there being potential Algorithm Problems, and taylor making sure to be like “don’t you dare blame latency” lol like which obv he May Have been planning to mention lol since he’s intending to give this technical answer rather than throwing out his Front Running / Interference Theory like mafee then does.....fun little moment too anyways.......taylor Allowing winston’s tangent about being cassandra and emails and “it’s pronounced owned,” like, they’re not raring to Interrupt / cut him off even if it’s Not obvious what he has to say is absolutely crucial and considered relevant by everyone else, and they’re not telling him he’s a stupid idiot and wasting their time or anything else before sending him away.......imagine. and just think about the beauty of winston very intently / earnestly saying his “i’m cassandra: Always Seeing The Future” right to taylor. 

and in 4x08 they build on his metaphor Again after having just Validated him despite everyone else really wanting to do the opposite lol......i “lol” but would everyone else lay off a little Lol......his self-reproach upon Registering that disapproval / oh-no-i’ve-messed-upness again.......then despite winston Standing Right Beside and then Sitting Right Behind taylor they don’t really interact l o l .....we have taylor being all “why is He so happy” and silently observing his Solo “i won” moment, rip, but also congrats.....and then i suppose that covers the Prior To 4x11 stuff lol

just......even re: the relative little we’ve Seen between them up to that point, winston might not have intended to talk to taylor right then, and he might or might not have intended to eventually talk to them in front of anyone else, but You Know He Knows that taylor listens to him, and that he doesn’t have to like, say things in what other people think is The Right And Effective Way to talk (even by billions’s fucking off the shits standards on that front lol), because taylor Does care about what he actually means and what his actual intentions are, not just “oh that very direct/honest thing you said Seemed rude whether you intended it or not”.......the “sad” after his yngwie malmsteen metaphor was the only time they’ve critiqued something like that lol and they then used that metaphor, So, and they’ve copied him calling himself a dick lol, and they built on his Sword metaphor, and they’ve just always been interested in Understanding him and communicating effectively with him, not in trying to get him to communicate differently or just making sure he knows He Should Feel Bad about how he Does communicate, though god knows the latter is something that everyone else seems to be somewhat #about. god knows some axe capper would have that “are you finished?” simply be the Purely Rhetorical intro to their barrage of Dunking-Upon insults, although it sure seems possible that that could’ve been sort of gently dismissive enough anyways to Encourage winston to not be finished even if maybe he would’ve stopped there otherwise.....but everyone else follows taylor’s lead in Not Actually Interrupting Him at any point, despite all the 9_9 and >:| as it were, and like, even though taylor then lets this whole thing end just with mafee going tf off on winston and bullying him into deferring and would-be deference, b/c winston might have this amount of moxie and he might be honest and he might not be scared of taylor (or anyone else here really) but he’s obviously not that assertive and definitely not that aggressive, he’s self-loathing, he’s easily put out, and all of this just bolsters how much it means that he communicates so well with taylor, b/c they’re Not interested in anything that would be counterproductive to actual effective communication but which might be “productive” if they had a goal of wanting to twist his arm about anything or pressure him into acting a certain way or just fueling their own ego or sense of superiority, axe cap style. they Value all his actual input and they have this respect for him where they don’t Want to bully him even if it’s not that difficult, like, yeah mafee was being mean to him for sure and trying to insult him into simply shutting tf up rather than like, actually responding to any of his points or doing anything but reinforcing them, but also winston has been Put Out by milder [negative responses] too, it’s of course more than just “i respect you too much to like, yell at you and try to diminish you”

and Frankly Winston Was Right and he may have been Indignant and he may not have been ~polite~ about it (though like, relative to how he is generally this Direct And Honest, there’s also not all that much evidence he’s deliberately trying to add some extra servings of Rudeness or anything) but once again like with the “as for not being a dick, i can’t absolute guarantee it” moment and the “fine, yes, big time” moment, and the “im sure it’ll go faster without the dead weight; Whoops ;)” moment, and the [talking about the algorithm problems] moment, and him freely jumping in with the “this plan might get us killed (not literally)” and “it’s b/c it sucks that they had to decapitate their dad, also not literally lol....although...” remarks, he’s just like, never afraid to tell taylor something that sure might not be the most pleasant for them to hear, and sure might not be something they Want to hear. and what’s Honest is that he’s Angry about this, and they won’t want to hear that and that they will even less want to hear his Honest Thoughts about why this is unfair, but he’s willing to say that to them, and even though we were like “haha boy winston if this isn’t fixed big time you might wanna quit :/” it’s also like, he must’ve trusted them to not wanna just fire him for lack of reverence to his ceo, and we can Juxtapose this with a) the scene that we’re set up to juxtapose it with, wherein a group of axe cappers carefully tell axe he’s being dumb as hell and might fuck all of them over, and axe tells them all to shut the fuck up b/c He Is Their Sun and he can do what he wants and get the fuck out of here, and we can also juxtapose it with b) winston being jumped on immediately in The Interview for ~lack of reverence~ to the potential employer, putting on this cocksure hotshot act (trying to..) and daring to express confidence in himself and be like “i should be interviewing you” / you should be selling to Me lol......jump to 4x11 and winston is caught off guard, he’s not putting on any kind of act, he’s not trying to appeal to anyone, sure mafee might turn it around on his [last we checked, the quant hates himself]ness, but this wasn’t about Winston Lashing Out b/c he’s angry at himself, he’s angry at Them for not valuing him, for what he perceives as them not even *really* giving them the option of the 60% Now approach, which sure seems to be justified seeing as apparently nobody but lauren goes for it and after winston invokes the Peer Pressure / pressure to seem Loyal / Committed by deferring, mafee immediately uses that [social pressure] to crush his dissent........where was i. right like. winston’s truly just Mad At Someone Else this time, he wouldn’t be here if his self-esteem was so low that he was immediately ready to just accept and absorb this treatment, and he Knows that taylor will actually listen to him which is their fuckin Mutual Respect thing and who tf else does that for him all the time, and he knows that taylor doesn’t value their own ego above everything else Unlike Some People, and he knows that he can be honest and get an honest reaction and that their honest reaction to his honesty is not “ugh you’re stupid / annoying / rude / etc,” b/c he’s Not, and that might be everyone else’s idea of him to some degree, but taylor Gets him better than that

and then you don’t quite have taylor being obviously Angry back, but they’re not exactly thrilled, and letting mafee go off on winston / effectively telling him they expect him to consider That the response and in turn respond back to that, can sure be interpreted as an expression of something a little short of pure goodwill and best intentions towards him here lol......again, i lol through the pain.......winston only has further reason to be angry, his Complaints weren’t resolved in the least and he came in all “i feel disrespected” and surely that’s only been doubled down on, b/c this isn’t Just “pay me goddamnit,” it’s really also just about the fundamental respect itself, which he figured that taylor cares about too, and so this would be something he could appeal to / expect them to earnestly.....he feels like none of them are being valued more than this feud with axe cap, he (maybe) feels like said feud is causing the quants’ work to be deprioritized in favor of more elaborate schemes based on “what will screw axe over specifically,” he feels like he’s not being valued as a Very Important Employee, he feels like this False Choice thanks to Social Pressure is insult to injury, like they’re not supposed to get a real chance to question this. boy i’m really just going off talking about any and all aspects of this huh, where’s the Anger Geography core here

well here it is: winston doesn’t ever talk to taylor in any more Filtered way due to them being his boss / him feeling a need to be more careful around them, if anything, they’re the one person he can be Least filtered around, b/c they care about What He Actually Means and aren’t all hung up on whether his communication style seems gratingly weird / wrong / offputting. winston isn’t bringing any particular leverage to this situation, yeah sure he pointed out He’s Valuable but he also did that in the interview with even less leverage and in the basement when he thought he was just working on some weird side project for axe cap in this remote quant dungeon - he’s counting on them to just Listen To Him and care about what he means, same as he always does and like they’ve done thus far. and he’s Temporarily Burned by this, which is tragic, but then 4x12 happens, and who knows if taylor and winston talked between these scenes at all cuz billions sure won’t say at all, but either way winston sure seems to pick up on the fact that taylor is responding to his Complaints here, the implication they were taking a too-axe-esque approach to them now answered by taylor deliberately differentiating themself from axe, and asserting that they Do value their employees and their contributions, and that taylor has this responsibility to them, and maybe Had gone astray there with the revenge jag but aren’t actually interested in that being the core of everything.........winston is Validated and we realize it and he seems to realize it lol, he definitely Was listened to, and he sure wasn’t like fired or anything, he Could Be Angry with them and that wasn’t going to lead to taylor wanting to sever even the Professional relationship or anything like that. sure seems to be no grudge held between them during the “q is for quantitative, babey” scene there lol and yeah it’s billions and shit moves fast / people will roll with A Lot of mistreatment apparently (see: winston also does not seem to harbor any grudge against mafee here lol but who knows) but the Fact Is, here they are, having found A Way Out Of [Anger], after having had this altercation which wouldn’t even have been possible if Winston hadn’t felt it was possible for them to interact like this, for him to be mad and be honest about that anger and the hows and whys of it and for that Not to be a dead end between them or something that could shatter the relationship entirely. and he was Validated!!!!

and guess who i also love to quote and paraphrase lol i also think of mariame kaba talking about interpersonal Conflict being possible Opportunities in a relationship, because working through said conflict can allow the relationship to grow / deepen / strengthen. which sure seems to Hold Hands with this idea: that you can Be Angry with someone because you already know that won’t break the relationship, and that even if you don’t already know that, going through that experience / process of Being Angry with someone and coming out the other side together will show that the relationship can handle that / will have involved gaining tools to be able to handle that going forward. and really like, we’ve seen winston Forgive taylor’s anger at him right off, and that may not be the sweeping heights of love but it came from Understanding (and....low self-es steam probably lol) but no really, he Shows that he understands why they reacted like that by behaving in this way that he figures is more in line with what they actually want, just talking and being direct with no boxes or [wags] or standard boring interview questions or posturing, showing he’s willing to work with them in the “please hire me” and “i’ll try to Behave” ways lol........and taylor is offering their own patience and sympathy and restraint and Understanding and willingness to bend.......things are happening on an emotional plane between them here.

and then after winston chooses to be on board with mase cap, and after he’s worked for them so long that it’s comp time baby, and after these few Sample Interactions we’ve seen in which taylor doesn’t cut winston down or show contempt for him and they continue to directly or indirectly validate him, winston can be Angry with them and taylor can (definitely Sorta) be Angry back, and winston surely even Stayed Angry after that scene in 4x11, and he didn’t quit, and was that [terrible self-esteem actually lol] or was it him believing that there could be a way out of this state of anger between him and taylor? both?? we get to decide!! b/c he’s sure not Validated and Vindicated until later lol.....what does he sit there on that couch alone in that room and Think in those moments...........and then once things Are better resolved, they have this whole [episode of conflict] in their history, and like is the whole Point of all of this, that’s hardly necessarily just some awful and unfortunate thing.......their relationship can survive something like that, and the conflict sure sparked this kind of Genuine Interaction between them which couldn’t have happened if winston just shied away from all this / kept it to himself because he didn’t think taylor would Listen or Care or Understand. 

and it’s Not Just About The Money, and even when he expresses that he’s upset about this perceived disrespect / not being valued as an employee, we Know that he’s not someone who’s got this need to feel superior to everybody else / like he’s always Winning, and we know he’s not after Maximum Clout, but he does want to Work With taylor and he evidently wants to feel valued By Them, who does happen to be his boss and does have this avenue to potentially treat any employees unfairly. and we know that winston *knows* in this objective way how good his work is, and both winston and taylor have acknowledged that yeah, His Work / professional quantly ablities have value, so winston Knows he should expect for that to be valued in the form of “your quantributions are important and you’re getting paid to reflect that”........and that he feels like he’s for once not being Allowed Honesty re: everyone supposedly being pressured into deferring is like..........what do he and taylor have if not earnest, open communication b/c they both value and respect what the other Really Has To Say!!!!!! that’s winnie n tay and it’s also tayston.

which, speaking of which, Sidenote: when it comes to tayston hcs we generally have this as a “they’re not currently doing Their Thing at this point anyways, and maybe the fact that that’s been ended (and they Haven’t been talking through this particular conflict yet) is adding to the tension / anger / feeling of not being valued hahaha rip” deal lol, but also if they Were still currently in their fwb/[???]ship like obviously this would spill over and probably require an at-least-temporary halt to give everyone some space seeing as it’d be a little impossible to truly completely Set That Aside in the recent aftermath l o l ......but despite the lingering tension / awkwardness that would be present whenever they Do next meetup [imagine: an I Was On The Phone With You, Sweetheart phonecall prior to 4x12′s scene?? wrow] the layers to that ensuing sex lol......reunion sex? makeup sex? not-hate-sex-but-maybe-still-needing-to-vent-a-lil-Emotional-frustration-maybe sex? maybe all of the above and more

ANYWAYS even i don’t know why this is so long, and also it’s 7am. i definitely think that winston trusted taylor and the Relationship between them to be able to handle Anger (his, for once, lol) and for that Anger to even potentially be something Constructive. and he was right. and in 4x12 he’s there with them at the very end, wearing the tmc logo, standing behind them in the hellhole which is axe cap hq, knowing that taylor is the one person (here, certainly) who definitely Gets and who’s Got him, who’s asserted this loyalty and commitment to him after he’s certainly done that re: them, and once again winston definitely has this Choice to be here with them just like he must’ve had that choice to join up with their fund in the first place, he’s never been trapped with them or forced into alliance with them, and we just Know that he’s not choosing to be here just for Linkedin reasons / what’s best for career advancement and/or for raking it in as best as he can manage and/or for gaining clout and status or whatever, and we sure never see him reaping some kind of deluxe treatment/benefits just for being closely associated with taylor / having their approval. everything we see points to winston caring most about what happens between him and taylor and that he gets to work with them and that he’s here because of that mutual respect and value for each other. 

and really, the show also repeatedly tells us that winston Does basically have these world-class abilities and *is* that valuable, and we know that winston Knows how good he is, and he must’ve legitimately had all those offers and known that he’s really good enough that these places Should compete for him. he must’ve known that he has this Potential here and all of these options laid out in front of him, and he takes taylor’s call and shows up in a basement for them and singlehandedly writes an algorithm good enough to found their fund upon and he follows them there when now he’s got this Proof of just how incredible his work is and could’ve leveraged that anywhere else. but his relationship with taylor has always had this personal aspect to it and the fact is that, even with his choice of Paths laid out in front of him, he chose and keeps choosing the geography of winnie n tay. Love. thank you and goodnight

[jordm]

Heartland 13x10 - The Passing of the Torch review

Remi for MVP. She may be just a dog but that also makes it a hell of a lot harder to “act” or contain how the dog acts within scenes, even if Remi is a seasoned actor being around for 13 seasons. I can’t help but notice that some of the “acting” after Remi was healed, like Remi approaching Amy when she was with Ty was not acting.

Also how about the promo pics clearly misleading that only Amy got hurt when really Ty did too but none of us caught it because he got shot in the abdomen and all promo pics showed him sitting down? Clever, clever.

Also, where was Katie this episode?! Was Katie not there to support her mom? Or did I totally just miss her in the scenes because even Peter was there... so if she wasn’t with her fam (WHO WAS ALL AT MAGGIES) where the heck was she?!?!!?

Looking at the credits, I think I just totally missed Katie because she’s credited sooo um oooops lmao

Amy/Ty

Spartan seems to have found a bound with wild horse (I don’t know the horses name okay), so Amy decides to try to tame the wild horse. She’s especially high strung because she’s still emotional about Spartan getting old and his recent injury and the look on Amy’s face when wild horse accidentally kicks Spartan in the leg is pure distress. A look of “What did I do?!? I was doing this for Spartan not to hurt him.”

Amy’s genuine sadness about Spartan, even though - as Ty says, his ligament is completely healed and they’re going to treat his arthritis (which is completely normal for older horses too per Amber’s post on IG) is also completely understandable because it is her last living link, besides the family home and her family - to her mother, especially since her mother died saving Spartan. 

After a heartfelt conversation with Ty, and all seems well (Ty is even cleaning up the new house?!), things come crashing down and Amy and Ty get shot by sniper guy while aiming for the wolf. Luckily, they’re going to be okay (I mean... obviously?) and Ty was able to catch the license plate but this could have ended a lot worse. But this is Heartland.. did we really think either would die?

In the end, Amy is able to complete a join up with wild horse and Spartan and her family is there to watch it and it’s really just a wonderful way to end the season/episode. More Marion flashbacks about her younger life please! I loved the flashback to her first Spartan join up from S1X01. It was like Spartan was given Amy his blessing to ride a new horse so that he can rest his legs.

Can I also add, how cute was Lyndy when Ty pointed out that wild horse was coming and she turned her head and said horsey? What a scene stealer!

Georgie & Quinn

So, the real reason Georgie quit was because she missed Quinn? I guess thats somewhat realistic but, like where is the joy she had for jumping and competing before she met Quinn? It wasn’t as if she suddenly started loving jumping because of Quinn when she went to Europe. Why does she suddenly correlate being with Quinn to loving jumping when she had a passion for it pre-Quinn?

Narys the point though, because she goes to Kelowna to confess her love to Quinn and he just doesn’t know what to say, even if he’s been wanting to hear it for awhile. Do I blame him? No - it’s a lot to handle and not everyone responds to an ‘I love you’ in the same way. Anyone remember Gilmore Girls and how Rory and Dean broke up because she didn’t say i love you back how Dean expected? However... could he have responded better? Yes. He just seemed to walk away to collect his ribbon even though he acknowledges he’s been waiting to hear those three words, eight letters for oh so long. At the same time, she could have stuck around till after to have a full conversation - not one that is going to be interrupted by him having to go collect his ribbon and in the middle of the competition.

I mean, I get leaving because she felt that Quinn didn’t care any more but to me, it seemed fairly obvious that Quinn and the girl were just friends; however, Georgie was probably in a heightened emotional state so I don’t particularly blame her for thinking the worst. Although, perhaps if she had stuck around and waited, they could have talked and she wouldn’t have come home crying.

“Give me a reason to stay and I will” - Quinn

And just like that, Quinn is staying (funny how this always just works out eh?). He took a coaching job (which I suppose he realized is his calling) at a stable in Hudson, gets a snazzy nickname Golden Boy from Tim (who appears to not have a problem with Quinn since he doesn’t dote on the fact that he caught his granddaughter kissing another guy) and looks like he’s going to be here for the long term. 

Perhaps he’s even going to be Georgie’s coach?! That was definitely the first thing I thought when I heard that Quinn was going to be coaching. I will say, i do like them together and they do fit better than her past boyfriends, but I don’t think i’ve seen enough of them to make a solid judgement until next season at least. Here’s to their relationship being more stable than Lou and Mitch’s!

Lou

How ironic; just as Tim says asks where Mitch, Lou’s supposed boyfriend (okay, he actually is her boyfriend but not the point) is to support her during the campaign, PETER shows up to support her. Irony at its’ best. And I suppose, ideally, Mitch is at their summer-turned-business home taking care of the herd but if Tim’s infer that Mitch hasn’t been around at all, yet Peter found the time to come from BC and help hand out posters and go door to door, then it’s a valid question.

Peter’s advice to not start up a shit storm with JD Worth when she hears about the snares is... probably correct but Lou’s assertion that JD is behind the snares is also 100% correct. 

It’s probably correct to infer that sniper guy was trying to shoot the wolf but how STUPID is he to shoot at a wolf if he doesn’t have a clear shot and there are people around? How do you miss seeing two humans in the same shot? Luckily, Lou is able to pinpoint that the same truck sped out of there is the one JD Worth went to talk too after their chat AND Ty is able to grab the license plate. And she knows she has JD almost in a corner by the smile on her face.

In the end, Lou wins (not due to sniper guy ratting out JD but a win is a win I suppose) to no ones shock whose seen the promo pictures; even JD is indicted in his role in this mess! However... she does lose her boyfriend, who seems to think that Peter is winning Lou’s affection. I understand why he thinks that but Lou and Peter have worked hard to become friends after a messy separation, Peter is... uh dating Jen?, and he will have to live with the fact that they will always have a bond a a relationship. Look how far Caleb/Ty/Amy have gotten!

What about Lou defining herself as ex-wife... who defines herself as an ex-wife? On gravestones, you say ‘loving wife, mother, sister, daughter...’ etc but no one defines themselves as an ex-wife? That was just strange. What’s even stranger is that Mitch seemed to think the tipping point of their relationship was when Lou didn’t mention she was a girlfriend too... and while i suppose in the context that she mentioned ex-wife but not girlfriend, it makes sense but in the grand scheme of things, no one really defines themselves as a girlfriend. Plus, if they were really stable, this wouldn’t be an issue, but from what it sounds like, Mitch has been away a lot due to his new business and they haven’t been seeing much of each other. Even if this truly was an oversight, the fact that she remembered Peter before Mitch does say something.

On a whole, what’s going to happen with that vacation-turned-work property they bought? And seriously, will they ever get their shit together and be together together, because if they aren’t then I sure hope they don’t ever get back together again because this isn’t healthy. How do they decide to buy a house together to deciding that they aren’t fully committed to each other? Be together, or don’t be together y’all.

Jack

Jack feels that he ‘dug his heels in a little too much’ when Mitch kept on asking about expanding the herd and I can’t tell if this is brought on by wanting to make Lou’s life easier or because he feels bad or because he really wants to expand the herd. The idea to invite Mitch back into the partnership is a nice utopia but at the end of the day, Tim is right. Mitch isn’t family (by marriage of blood), but more family “family friend because he’s been around the farm so much” relationship and should Lou/Mitch breakup it would easily complicate things even further.. and given how unstable they’ve been keeping separate may not be a bad idea.

*LOL i wrote the above before Lou and Mitch officially broke up so I guess I saw the future. Perhaps it was a good thing they didn’t get back in business considering how on-off these two are!

OVERALL

This season was good - there was no Mongolia and more family storylines. I enjoyed Amy’s arc with Spartan, Ty not jetting off to Mongolia and being their for their fam, seeing Lisa and Fairfield(!) - even the election wasn’t a bad storyline and I enjoyed Quinn’s character. All the throwbacks to the past with the painting and the flashbacks to Jack’s life were also great to see and learn about.

I didn’t enjoy Casey’s one-episode arc nor the Lou/Mitch storyline (just decide to be together or not!!). And even thought it brought “drama”, the whole Wes “bad review” story line felt a little contrived and forced but in the grand scheme of things, besides some plot points which seemed out of character or continuation issues, the season picked up by near the end.

I mean, no one went to Mongolia and almost died - why would you when you can get shot in your own backyard? (jokes)

Songs in this Episode @heartlandians​

Call to Arms - Evan Olson

I’m Boring - Jacob John

I’ll be There For You - Philip Larue

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 12

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,191 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Also on ff.net and AO3. Note: I haven't actually read either of the books referenced in this chapter, but they came up when I was doing research and seemed to fit so I threw them in there.

Scars are souvenirs you never lose The past is never far Did you lose yourself somewhere out there Did you get to be a star

We grew up way too fast And now there's nothing to believe And reruns all become our history

-Goo Goo Dolls, "Name"

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Then. On Monday, Tim went to the library as usual once classes were over, but with a different purpose in mind than simply secluding himself in studies.  …That is to say, he wouldn’t be by himself this time. He wondered why he even agreed to this. That knock on the head must have scrambled his judgment – that was the only explanation he could think of for permitting himself to be possessed by such an insane notion. When he reached the agreed-upon meeting place though, there was someone else sitting at the table instead of the person he expected.  She had short, pitch black hair – sleek and strict – a style resembling Annie’s but with a widow’s peak; far darker bangs parted in the center, pulled back taut by a barrette. In addition, her skin was much more pale in comparison, emphasizing midnight mascara and lips.  Both her chin and slanted eyes were sharper, piercing pupils snapping up from her book to stare straight at him with such intensity he flinched on instinct.  He’d never seen anyone react so immediately to his presence. “Uh… Hello?” She eyed him with suspicion, silent and unmoving.  Statuesque. “Sorry to bother you, but… I’m supposed to be meeting someone here soon…” Again, no response. Tim didn’t know what to do. He thought about just giving up and turning tail (hey, can’t say he didn’t try at least), though somehow the prospect of presenting his back to her seemed like a dangerous idea.  He was about to retreat in reverse by slinking slowly into the shadows – safety – of shelves when a pair of hands suddenly emerged from behind him, blocking his vision. “Guess who~?” “Gah!” He whirled around in a panic, almost about to punch the invader to his personal space when he saw it was – of course – Stephanie.  The librarian sternly looked up from the counter at the loud disruption and pursed a finger to her lips, shushing. “Fuck- don’t do that,” he hissed with a sibilant shiver, clutching his rapidly beating breast. “…Sorry,” she whispered back, contrite. “It’s okay,” he muttered with a heavy sigh.  “Just give me some warning next time.” Meanwhile, the seated spectator was still watching the two intently, stony view shifting back and forth between them.  Tim felt even more uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze, and was about to suggest they move to someplace else when Steph waved to the glum girl in gleeful greeting. “I see you’ve met my roommate,” she chirped as she bounded over, cheerfully clasping hands on the sculpture’s stiffened shoulders.  “This is Cassandra, but you can call her Cass.  She doesn’t say much, but she’s a nice girl.  I hope you don’t mind if she joins us for today.” As she briskly babbled introduction in lieu of the stranger herself, who still had yet to speak, Tim felt he was starting to understand how Steph was able to put up with his own severe lack of social skills. “Um… Okay.  Sure.” “Awesome.  I’ll be with you guys in a sec, just let me finish shelving these books.” She bustled off again, leaving Tim alone with Cassandra before he could even say anything. Defeated, he laid his bookbag on the table and took the chair diagonally across from her, not wanting to remain directly in her field of vision.  She continued to follow his movements closely though, keeping sight trained on him as if a hawk tracking its prey – rigid and unwavering.  …It was starting to seriously creep him out. “So, er… What’s that you’re reading?” He blurted out in a feeble endeavor to fill conversation. Mechanically, she raised the cover so he could see.  Judging by the winged figure in frilly jeweled fashion painted next to a medieval knight, both holding what appeared to be fanciful masks, it looked like some kind of fantasy young adult fiction novel. “I… see.  Is it interesting?” She simply nodded, before (blessedly) returning attention to her reading material. … Can I go now? As the suffocating silence stretched on, Tim wasn’t sure if the situation was any better than before. Though her scathing appraisers were now fully fixed on the page in front of her rather than him, they didn’t seem to be making any progress.  …Which he supposed only made sense, given the orientation of the subject. …Should I let her know she’s holding that book upside-down? To his surprise, a rosy tint developed on the other’s complexion as she subtly flipped the tome to the correct position.  Odd, he was sure he hadn’t said that statement aloud.  …But then, reality was such a fickle thing these days. Yet, even though the volume was righted, her focus still didn’t seem to advance at all.  He mused idly if she was actually absorbing any of it. Don’t tell me she can’t actually read. “I can read.” Tim startled at the unanticipated answer.  …Okay, this was really getting weird.  He definitely hadn’t said anything that time.  Given that the supposed responder still hadn’t budged an inch, he began to doubt whether he was really hearing things… Before he could decide whether to inquire further out of sheer curiosity, Stephanie conveniently showed up at that precise moment, arms inflated with textbooks. “Back!  Sorry about that.” She plopped the heavy publications and herself down, insinuating cozily between the two, apparently without noticing the aura of awkwardness permeating the air. “Shall we get started then?” “Y- yeah.” Tim cast one more confused look at Cassandra before attempting to apply concentration to his other company instead.  It was difficult when said study partner’s own awareness kept wandering though, growing bored and fidgety within minutes.  In the corner of his periphery, he could sense the third party’s irises still peeking at him from over the pages as well, albeit remaining mute throughout the entire period. By the end of the (exhausting) hour, Tim had managed to at least hammer in a few concepts.  As they finally stood up and started gathering their things, Stephanie sheepishly apologized for her short retention span, and promised she’d be more attentive next time.  Meanwhile, Cassandra quietly shut her text and rose, maneuvering fluently – like lighter fluid, hazardous and almost undetectable – around the desk to approach Tim.  To both his and Steph’s astonishment, she leaned in alarmingly close, lifting delicate digits to lightly touch his forehead.  He swallowed apprehensively as she scrutinized his mystified expression, as if searching for something. After a bewildered beat, she lowered her hand, and placed the paperback she had in his. “Here.” He blinked at her in bemusement. “Read it.” She merely instructed, before departing without another word. “…What the heck was that about?” Steph pondered, scratching her hair. Tim shrugged.  “Beats me.  You know her better than I do.” “Yeah, but I have no idea why she does stuff sometimes.”  Stephanie paused, contemplating with a half-anxious, half-amused countenance.  “Hey, maybe she likes you.” Tim blushed, busying with packing away his possessions again. “Yeah, right.” … As he lay on his dorm bed later though, looking at the lent item against the light, he reflected on the strange glance and gesture she gave him.  It wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced before.  It was as if the cold contact infiltrated deep into his soul, chilling to his very core… Conner came in then, bearing a broad grin. “Yooo Timbo, so how’d it go with that girl?” Tim shrugged, sitting up. “…She brought her roommate along.” The other boy elevated an eyebrow. “Dude.  That’s a bad sign.  Inviting someone else on the first date means you’re totally in the friendzone.” “I told you, it’s not a date.” “What is it then?” Tim exhaled, shaking his head. “…I don’t know.” Conner crossed over to clap a thick paw on Tim’s shoulder. “Lighten up, man.  You’ll win her over, don’t worry.” He elbowed with a wink and cheesy thumbs-up, and Tim rolled his retinas, but didn’t say anything. Conner’s eyes caught the object in the other’s lap, and he plucked it up without warning, wrinkling his nose as he examined the lacey title. “The Black Swan?  Since when do you read chick lit?” “It’s not mine,” Tim defended hastily.  “Steph’s roommate told me to read it.  Now give it back.” Tim made a swipe for the article, but Conner easily kept his extended muscle out of the shorter one’s reach as he flipped teasingly through the embarrassing narrative, reciting passages aloud with gusto. “‘Odile watched her father's back, swallowing involuntary bitter tears of disappointment and rejection, feeling her head droop a little as her heart sank with dejection.’” “Will you shut up?” “‘If she could have wept, her tears would have burned furrows down her face, so bitter were the dregs of degradation that she drank at that moment.’  …God, who writes this stuff?” Tim grimaced as he made another desperate effort to grab at the entity.  In the midst of their scuffle though, two tags secretly tucked into the spine slipped out from between the sheets, landing at their feet.  They both blinked and bent down to pick one up each, puzzled by the bizarre bookmarks. They were playing cards. Conner glimpsed up from the Ace of Clubs he was holding towards Tim, whose eyes were expanded wide with shock and – horror? – as his hand began shaking. “Hey, you okay, man?  What’s wrong?” Gulping, Tim gradually rotated the thin cardboard around to reveal its front: not a number or face… but a Joker. Anger and concern promptly carved onto Conner’s visage. “What the hell is this?  Some kind of sick joke?” Tim said nothing, as he peered down at the scarlet diptych design of mirrored angels and demons on the backside to find a brief note written in bold, black marker: Park.  4PM. Biting his lip in baffled frustration, Conner revolved his own cue around to discover a much longer message.  His brow furrowed as he tried (rather unsuccessfully) to pronounce the alien language it was inscribed in. “‘Rara avis in terris nigroque simillima cygno’ – what is this, French?” “It’s Latin,” Tim clarified.  “’A rare bird in the lands and very much like a black swan.’   It likely refers to a recent theory published by Taleb.  It’s a metaphor to describe an event that comes as a surprise, that’s hard to predict since it’s beyond the realm of regular expectations, and has an extreme major impact as a result.  Afterwards, it is rationalized by hindsight, as if it could’ve been anticipated if the relevant data were available – but this only becomes apparent in retrospect.  The phrase itself was coined by the ancient poet Juvenal, back when people thought black swans didn’t exist and that such an abnormality was impossible. It was only later proven wrong when the first one was discovered in 1697.” Conner blinked vacantly at Tim, looking as lost as he always did whenever the other went off on an encyclopedic (if perhaps slightly pretentious) tangent. “So…  What does it all mean?” “I don’t know,” Tim admitted as he took the pair and headed determinedly over to his computer, booting up the system.  “But I’m going to find out.” He navigated to the browser window – keeping a weather eye on the worrisome memo as it unwillingly brought back bad memories – and did some digging. … By the time he was done with his research, the hour of summons was fast approaching.  He snatched his jacket and was out the door before Conner could even get a word in edgewise, racing towards Gotham Central Park. As soon as he arrived there, he stilled for a second at the entrance gate, surveying the tranquil scene of people walking casually to and fro: lovers holding hands, families enjoying late afternoon picnics and games of Frisbee or Fetch with their pets, children running joyfully to their parents across the grass – the latter giving affectionate hugs and pats before sending off with smiles to the playground, all while keeping a careful watch on their precious bundles from a distance. Tim spotted Cassandra sitting by herself on a swingset towards the outskirts, exuding a gloomy atmosphere that likely aided in deterring any nosey youngsters. He neared cautiously, observing her glide like a gentle pendulum for a while, before she slowed to a stop and looked at him finally. “You came.” Dispensing with preliminaries, Tim cut straight to the chase. “How did you know who I was?” Cassandra smiled softly. “The way you move – it resembles him.  No openings, always on guard, not a single wasted motion…”  She then added in a hush: “Plus, I read your mind.” Her head declined in apology. “Forgive me.  It’s not something I normally like to do to others, especially to someone I’ve just met. …There was such a dark cloud surrounding yours though, I- I couldn’t help it.” She dragged a heel through the dirt. “Besides, you know who I am now, don’t you?” Tim sat down on the swing next to her, repeating everything he had learned based on his hunch. “Several years ago, the Joker broke into a Cadmus facility in Arizona. He released five metahuman kids, who had been abducted from their families shortly after birth and raised as secret weapons for the government.  He took them on as his own protégés, calling them the ‘Royal Flush Gang’.  The strongest of them was named ‘Ace’, who possessed telepathic powers the likes of which the world had never seen before.  …’Ace’ reportedly died not long after of a brain aneurysm in the presence of Batman, who was the only witness, in a park not unlike this one.” Cassandra merely nodded affirmatively. “…He helped you fake your death, didn’t he?” “It was the only way to free me completely from Cadmus’ clutches.  Otherwise they would keep hounding me forever.” She gripped the chains bitterly. “He sent for an expensive foreign doctor who performed the surgery in secret.  Afterwards, he gave me a choice: I could stay and be a part of his team, or I could live peacefully on my own. …I chose this.” Tim afforded her an odd look, thinking how close he evidently could’ve been to having an actual “sister” his age. “…I’m guessing ‘Cassandra’s’ not your real name either.” “It is the name he gave me.  After the Greek prophet from mythology.” “Can you actually see the future?” Tim questioned, genuinely intrigued. Cass regarded the horizon, as if squinting into some sort of far-off void. “What I see are… ‘possibilities’.  Infinite paths our lives could’ve taken, had we made different choices.  If just the slightest factor changed course.  ‘Alternate realities’, if you will.” She told him, about a world where there weren’t just two Robins, but a third Robin and then a fourth, a world where Barbara was the one shot and paralyzed instead of Dick, where Joker lived and he died and came back to life and his name wasn’t Tim it was- “Stop.  I’d rather not hear any more.” Tim prolonged a palm to halt her crazy-sounding speech, grasping his aching skull in the other. “I’m not saying I totally understand or believe you, but basically what you’re saying is… ‘Something’ was bound to happen sooner or later.” “…If that is how you wish to interpret it.” She removed her limbs from the links, resting on her legs instead. “I am sorry, for what he did to you.  The… things I saw inside his mind, they were so terrible, I should’ve known better than to leave him be.  I… should’ve ended him when I had the chance.”  Her knuckles clenched, impressing into her thighs. “Even though they trained me to use my powers to kill, I- I couldn’t.  I didn’t want to.” Tentatively, Tim reached out to wrap his own hand soothingly around her wrist. “Hey, that’s not on you.  It’s not your fault.  None of it was your fault, including-”  He hesitated. “-What happened with your parents.” He heard an abrupt wailing coming from the court where a kid had tripped and fallen from the bottom of the slide, scraping her knees on the wood chips.   Her mom and dad hurried to her side, cooing and consoling as they stuck numerous kisses and band-aids with colorful cartoon kitties and pretty princesses on them to the boo-boos.  Turning, he saw there were tears rolling down Cassandra’s cheeks as she unfurled her fist, knotting fingers into the comfort of his. While her nails were startlingly long, she took care not to wound his flesh, closing just tight enough to exchange warmth. “You and I… are similar.  I don’t mean just because of Joker either.”  She meditated off into that empty space again.  “The two of us are anomalies.  Outliers.  Outsiders. We don’t fit into the grand scheme.  We’ve always been… ‘different’.  We don’t ‘belong’.” Tim wasn’t sure exactly what she was talking about.  But he took a stab at alleviating the mood anyway. “I guess you could say we’re… ‘Wild Cards’?” She stared at him. “…Sorry, bad joke.” And people say I’m humorless now. Cass looked a little put-off as she pouted, and he winced, remembering she could hear what he was thinking as well.  He swiftly opted to switch the topic instead. “You cannot tell Stephanie about any of this.” “I don’t intend to.”  Gray eyes narrowed with gritty resolve as her voice dropped to a grave mumble, digging her toe into the earth and gravel.  “Someone like her should not know of the horrors we’ve been through, the darkness that we come from.  The number of evil sins we’ve committed.  …It will only lead to causing the same kind of pain in the end.” Her face contorted obliquely as she said this, ominous and foreboding. Breathing out, she monitored the fading violet brightness of the sun as it started to set. “Stephanie… is light.  A ray of hope.  She’s the first person I’ve met who wasn’t instantly afraid of me, but accepted me right away for who I was. She’s the first real ‘friend’ I’ve ever had.  …I would never do anything to hurt her.” She looked down at their connection, as if realizing the implication just now, and nervously began to relinquish.  Tim didn’t let go though.  Something she had said triggered a thought in the back of his conscience, and he stood up, coaxing mildly. “Come on.  There’s someone else I think you should meet.” Timidly, she trailed after his tow.  Whilst they stood there waiting for the bus, he overheard a passing elderly duo remark wistfully on that “cute young couple”, which in turn urged him to be the one to impulsively liberate this time.  As they both coughed and avoided each other’s eyes, Cassandra spoke up in a somewhat troubled tone. “There’s… something else I should mention.” “What?” “When I… looked into your subconscious, I saw an even greater darkness buried deep down.  I can’t explain it, but… I fear it may consume you someday.”  She frowned in vexation at her inability to identify, to express.  “…It bears strong resemblance to him.” Though he was afraid to ask, Tim did so anyway. “Who?” She gave him an ambiguous look, constricted and conflicted dots overwhelmingly obscure. “Both.”

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And now we're grown up orphans That never knew their names We don't belong to no one That's a shame But you could hide beside me Maybe for a while And I won't tell no one your name

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: Yuugi Gets a Tomagachi Pt 2

So because I spent like...weeks away from Yugioh I recently decided to kinda review what was even going on in this show, and so, as I was quickly going through my own recaps this week while putting this Season Zero episode together, I was reminded about this observation I made so innocently so long ago.

I keep making jokes with this show and then the jokes end up being real. Like it just keeps happening, so I don’t know why I bother trying to dive so far into the hypothetical thinking “Yugioh would never possibly do this” but...I’ll keep trying.

So, lets see just how dangerous a Season Zero Tomagachi can be. (v bad)

So about 3-4 days have passed since Honda left school for maternity leave despite the fact he is a 14 yo biological male and was never pregnant. I’m glad he’s here to break gender norms and I’m glad that the teacher has just accepted this.

Anzu has decided it’s time for an intervention and thinks, “if I can talk sense into Yuugi occasionally, maybe I can talk some sense into this purple haired alien that we’re also friends with?”

Miho, I swear.

(read more under the cut)

Yuugi has decided to show off his digital pet, which looks a whole lot like the Olympics mascot from 1996.

Izzy. That was the name of the Olympics mascot from 1996. I got the stuffed animal of him for my birthday and that’s the only reason I remember this weird ass 90′s fact.

I do not like the weird bangs that are Tomagachi arms, and it says a lot about the volume of Yugi’s bangs that they could have tiny arms attached to all those little bangs and it would...match up.

Now I watched a dubbed version done by English voice actors (hence why I’m getting all these names wrong) and I figured, I may as well take you on the same journey I went through watching this episode, starting with the name of Yuugi’s pet here.

Some of you, who know every single thing about Yugioh, are right now like “oh girl, do you not even see how you’re getting played all over again? Do you not realize what you JUST walked into?” and don’t worry, we’ll get there. But first, I have to go through this entire episode. Don’t worry, I’ll address the elephant in the room shaped like “the Joshua Tree” but with bangs that are hands.

(if you are too young to know about the lore behind U+Me=Us, then please look it up and listen to their entire discography and know that we were so hardcore about U+Me=Us that, for a very little while, they topped TRL over Destiny’s Child and Britney Spears)

And so they decide to do the very awkward fusion thing where you slap the butts of these Tomagachis together, but Jounouchi’s tomagachi is way too tsundere to date.

Anyway, in walks this boyman who I think gets bigger and bigger every scene he is in, like Violet Beauregarde. I mean...the door is...only so big. One of y’all brought up in the comments (I think gingerninja) that his name means “whale” in Japanese. Indeed he is.

He decides to show us his shiny golden pet, and remember this is 1999, so here’s some...1999 technology alright.

Dear lord, never draw these nips again.

Just...never again.

This is just...

How is this the only post I’ve made in months that hasn’t been flagged?

...Anyways, Kujirada’s monster, instead of going on awkward play dates, just kind of devours whoever he goes up against in a battle. It’s sort of confusing though because like...the same process for battle is the same as for this weird social network/dating scene.

Like there was absolutely no battle system until just now, when this thing started eating other people’s little monsters.

RIP Johnny and Somomo, who we knew for like all of 4 seconds. Truly one of the most devastating blows of Yugioh lore to see the death of these little monster assholes that have consumed all the time that these kids should have spent studying/actually attending school.

And then, our hero arrives and he’s a freakin mess because he hasn’t slept in 3 days.

And I was fully expecting for Honda to also lose and gain a valuable lesson in how to better use his time. I was waiting for Yuugi to pull out his little pet and go through a whole transformation sequence right here and now. But, something impossible happened.

I can’t believe the episode is already over and it was Honda that won. You heard it here first, kids, always skip school for video games, the Yugioh way.

I mean...kudos to Honda, I guess. I’m just really surprised he won something. I mean, the last time I saw him play a game he full on died by being tossed into a pit of lava and then he got turned into a robotic monkey for like 12 episodes.

Haiyama, meanwhile, did not take this very well, since he was the one from the bathroom who was being coerced into giving money to Kujirada in order for Kujirada to buy the golden pet, who just lost within a day of buying it.

As Haiyama leaves, we kind of assume that Haiyama is about to get his ass kicked in, because he’s small and cute and wears glasses, and this is Yugioh Season Zero, and those are all the things required to get your ass kicked in.

When just...everything starts to get really, really weird.

Also, this happened,

And FYI whenever I do these Season Zero episodes, I also look into the other translations on Youtube and the one I looked at seems to have also noticed that the Warehouse situation in Yugioh has gotten a little bit out of hand.

Ah, I see what you did there, random Youtube guy. I mean I love the abandoned warehouse, personally, he’s a core actor in this show. But yes, I do see how it’s turning into a little tiny bit of a meme.

Hilariously, Kujirada makes sure to run directly past Yuugi on his way to the abandoned warehouse district while carrying this girl in a sack over his back.

It is the middle of the freakin day.

So you’ve probably guessed the main twist by now, mostly because of the lack of characters, but as Tristan comes to the end of this warehouse, out steps our very large 3 Stooges boy who keels over and is...entirely covered in bloody lashes????

For your consideration--Haiyama has the yellow glasses and this face type, yes? and Kujirada has the hair? You stick the two together and remove entirely the problematic whipping sequence and you have yourself a

Of course I say this and maybe Weevil is also in S0 and Haiyama is just his own type of nut.

With a whip for some reason. OMG why does this child have a bullwhip?

Also how on EARTH did he manage to get Miho all the way up there???

So Haiyama explains, while pulling out a photo album of just tons of people in it, a comically large photo album of people that I guess he just keeps in his butt pocket, that these were all the people who were doing dirty deeds for him in exchange for money. No idea how the hell Haiyama got all that money, but he likes to blow it all on what is essentially slavery because apparently once you get money from Haiyama, you’re stuck with Haiyama for life.

Like really there is so much gang imagery in this show, it’s like a big PSA of “Don’t Join a Gang, Kids! Or Your Classmate Will Whip You With a Bullwhip Until You Pass Out In an Abandoned Warehouse” and it’s like damn Yugioh fine, I wont, damn.

But like the whole murdery photo album was certainly something because uh--there were more people in there than Kujirada so it’s like...did they die? Did all those people die? Did you in fact murder all those people, Haiyama? Did you manage to kill all those people at age 14 like you’re some sort of Bakura? Like, it’s Yugioh, so I really am just assuming they died but like...can’t add it to the death count until they outright say, right?

And then Yuugi’s timing was pretty excellent.

colorist kinda messed up on Yuugi’s teeth here. It happens. Cartoons are hella hard to make so we’ll give it a pass.

The TRAJECTORY.

Haiyama then decides to point out to Honda that Miho is essentially using Honda like he uses Kujirada and that was...kind of cathartic for me, actually. Thank you, villain, for recognizing that this whole Miho obsession thing is uhhhh kind of wrong. I guess we’ll see if the fact that Haiyama pointed this out to Honda will actually stick or if Honda will forget it by next episode.

Although, in Miho’s defense, she may be too stupid to know that she’s actually using Honda. She may just be that stupid. I honestly can’t tell what her deal is at this time.

But then Haiyama decides to try and extend the great offer to Honda of being whipped and manipulated for the rest of his life in exchange for keeping Miho alive, which um. Wow Yugioh, this is a 14 year old kid. Wow, that’s some dark stuff wow, this basically serial murderer has just been hanging out in the back of their class for their what we assume is their whole lives, and NO ONE NOTICED?

Like again, this entire class is just...they gotta be plants. There’s gotta be at least 3 people in this class being made in test tubes underneath Domino by Gendo Ikari, there’s just no way they aren’t.

And what’s crazy about Zero vs the rest of Yugioh is that in Zero they just happened upon a freakin maniac. They didn’t like...search this guy out, or enter a contest that they knew was freakin cursed. No, they just wanted to play with a Tamagachi. That was it. Instead, they found out that their one classmate has been abusing their other classmate to the point of hospitalization for the past several years.

They just wanted to play with a Tomagachi.

After that, Yugi had a fun intro sequence into Yami Yugi where a beam of light expanded across his face from the middle and that was actually a very nice effect 10/10 I can’t actually cap the animation but you can trust me. For a low budget thing that this season appears to be, that was a nice low budget way to do a good effect.

(seriously, if Yuugi lived a normal life would he have ever known he was cursed? Would Pharaoh have ever woken up at all?)

Honda at this point passed out due to the constant whipping, which is very surprising because I’m so used to Tristan, who once threw Double Spike Mullet Man over his shoulders. Honda is kind of a weakling in comparison.

So, Yuugi looks down at this device with a little monster in it and is like “yo I have a great idea, lets make the monsters fight eachother” and so we got like...a Yugioh meets Pokemon aesthetic, and FYI Yuugi’s monster still has the weird hand bangs. It’s...it still looks like that.

And, turns out the kick that Jounouchi’s monster gave to Yuugi’s monster made Yuugi’s monster learn how to hate, enough to gain a new power.

...so, in the end, Yuugi spent a really long time making his monster just a very nice guy, and would have absolutely lost if Jounouchi’s tomagachi hadn’t kicked Yuugi’s tomagachi’s ass. I guess that’s symbolic.

PS never forget that these are Tomagachi’s with a 20-50 pixel screen.

and there you are, Haiyama eaten by his own Tamagachi.

Yuugi was like “and THAT’s why you don’t whip the people who are your pets. You treat your pets with love.” and it was like wtf that guy was devoured by his own Tamagachi.

And then you think about it a second later and it’s like “WTF YUUGI. Yuugi. That’s still not a very good message.” And like I figured...this is probably a translation error that they accidentally made Yugi seem like he was cool with using people so long as you’re nice about it, but it was in the other version I watched as well so I think the real desired meaning just...didn’t quite make it to the final draft. I hope.

Straight up, this episode would have scared me absolutely to death while I was still in the Tomagachi craze and feeling very guilty about not taking care of them. Like can you imagine just killing your Tamagachi over, and over when you’re 10 and then watching this episode? Like Gremlins did irreparable damage to me as a kid, can you imagine what this episode would have done?

This guy was devoured by a Tomagachi and Yuugi just watched.

Don’t worry, Miho says “momma” here so she is still about as blase towards Honda as ever.

They did pan down to show us that Haiyama is still alive after this whole event. Of course he’s...passed out so he’ll probably just end up in the hospital wing in Domino they’ve reserved for Yuugi’s classmates.

...Eaten by a tamagachi.

Now, a little bit of story time, in the process of putting these caps together, I figured well after the fact that I should, youknow, go and check on the spelling of all of these characters (because again, I watch the dub so I have no subs to tell me how things are spelled) and the sub version had omitted quite a bit of the episode, including the parts where Yuugi says his pet’s name.

...so I was like...is Yuugi’s pet named Yuutou or Yuutsu? And surprisingly enough, when I typed into Google “what is the name of Yugi’s tamagachi” ...

DAMN IT, YUGIOH.

HE REALLY DID CANONICALLY NAME HIS PET U2!

Freakin U2. SPELLED LIKE IT LOOKS LIKE.

That makes no freakin sense, whatsoever. Yuugi is the type of person who listens to weird grungy alternative from whatever local show his weird anti-establishment cousin tells him about and would just--I mean he has so many accessories and eyeliner, he does not put in his Mom’s CD of U2 and drift off, no, he puts in a burnt CD of early Radiohead while he spends 2 hours dying his bangs in the sink. There is no universe, let it be Season Zero or Season whatever where Yuugi acknowledges U2.

I can’t believe this is Canon.

I just...Wow. U2.

U2.

Y’all I am shook that Yuugi is a closet U2 fan.

FYI, I have been listening to U2 for the entire time I’ve typed this. I mean, Pride is a good jam.

Anyways, I know none of you that are too young to know 2gether looked this up when I mentioned it earlier, so here you go, one of the best worst songs ever made. In case you were wondering what I was busy doing as a young tween instead of having a Yugioh phase.

[mischiefandspirits]

Rescue to the Rescue (1/3)

Peter puts E.D.I.T.H. to work on the Elemental's case and something doesn't seem to be adding up.

“No matches found under Quentin Beck. Expanding search.”

“That’s alright, he’s not exactly from around -”

“Match found in Stark Industries database.”

Part 2, Part 3, and Also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What else can you do, E.D.I.T.H.?”

“I can do lots of things,” she -- she? Do AIs even have a gender? Or just preferred pronouns? Vision had gone by male pronouns, but was that because he was male or he just preferred male pronouns? Or did everyone just automatically use male pronouns and he’d never corrected them? What about F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Oh man, had Peter been misgendering Karen by calling them a suit lady this entire time? -- said.

Peter opened his mouth to ask how genders worked for AIs when he suddenly realized that during his metal speculation, E.D.I.T.H. had gone on to answer his question and Peter had completely missed part of it.

“Um, E.D.I.T.H.?”

“… inform- Yes, Peter?” she asked, only to continue a second later with, “Oh, I failed to notice your distraction. I apologize.”

Peter blushed and slumped down further in his seat. “No, no, I’m sorry. I should have been paying better attention.”

“Research shows those of your condition can display difficulties with focusing during long speeches or lectures. I will make a note to keep better track in the future so I can properly assist you.”

Fingers coming up to run over the smooth metal of the glasses’ temples, he gave a small smile. “Thanks, E.D.I.T.H.”

“Of course, Peter. Would you prefer I send a list of my capabilities to your phone so you can read through it instead?”

“Oh, that would be great!” Peter blushed again as a couple of his classmates turned to look at him, ducking his head and pulling out his phone and headphones. He quickly stuck the earbuds in his ears and plugged them in to make it look like he was talking on the phone. “Um, yeah, you can do that. Thanks.”

“Your welcome.”

The file popped up on his phone’s screen and he quickly opened it. “So, E.D.I.T.H.,” he hummed scrolling through the list. “What pronouns do you use?”

“… I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.”

“Like, what’s your gender? You sound like a woman, but, like, do AIs have genders? I don’t know how that works, sorry.”

“I was not programmed with a gender.”

“So you’re agender?”

“That would be the closest identifier according to my findings, yes.”

“That’s cool. So what pronouns should I use for you?”

“I have no preference either way.”

Peter’s eyes stopped on ‘Can access security and traffic cameras for surveillance purposes.’ “Would you mind if I use female pronouns, then? That’s kind of what I’ve been using in my head.”

“That is fine.”

“Cool, just let me know if you change your mind. Hey, this says you can scan through a bunch of security feeds and stuff right? Would you be able to pick up anything on Mysterio?” Maybe if he could find out something about the elementals that could help Mr. Beck, then Mr. Fury would leave him alone to enjoy his trip.

“Mysterio?”

“He’s a superhero. Quentin Beck. He fought a big water monster in Venice yesterday.”

“Four hundred seventy-three matches found for the name Quentin Beck, attempting to narrow results.” Flashes of images flew by faster than even Peter’s enhanced eyes could keep up with. Finally, it settled on a blurry picture of Mr. Beck in his suit and helmet. “Many surveillance systems for the area, both on the ground and in orbit, were disrupted due to energy anomalies during the fight, but I have located various videos posted online from civilian and news resources. Is this the person you are asking after?”

Peter frowned and perked up. Something knocked-out surveillance systems? That’s ominous. Was it a result of the elemental’s powers? Or maybe some sort of radiation-like output given off by Mr. Beck and the creatures because they were from another universe? But then why would it only happen during the fight? “Yeah, that’s him. How long before and after the fight did the energy anomalies happen?”

“The anomalies began approximately thirty-nine minutes before the creature is first noted on social media, building in strength until just before the creature’s arrival. They then remained steady until cutting off completely just after Quentin Beck left the scene.”

That makes no sense. There should have been a decay in the energy just like there was a build-up. And if the energy was completely tied to the elemental -- and considering there was no change in power when Mr. Beck arrived, then it should be -- then the power change should have happened when it was defeated, not when Mr. Beck flew off.

“Peter, would you like me to continue searching for Quentin Beck?”

Peter bit his lip, his hand coming up to rub against the glasses again. “Yeah. Try matching his suit to security footage around Venice before and after the disturbance. Try to find something with his helmet off.”

“Searching.” More flash-forward pictures flashed across the lenses.

Peter glanced towards Ned, wanting to talk about this with someone, but his best friend was nuzzled up against Betty watching a video.

“Match found.” A picture of Mr. Beck standing next to Nick Fury came up. It zoomed in on Mr. Beck. “Running facial recognition.”

“It’s just like on TV,” Peter whispered, watching the program run.

“No matches found under Quentin Beck. Expanding search.”

“That’s alright, he’s not exactly from around -”

“Match found in Stark Industries database.” Peter’s eyes widened as a picture settled next to the one of Mr. Beck. The man in the picture looked exactly like a clean-shaven, more put together, and slightly younger Mr. Beck. “Dr. Ludwig Rinehart worked for Stark Industries for seven years before being fired in twenty-sixteen after a mental break that resulted in him attempting to steal files from Stark Industries and making multiple threats against the life of Tony Stark and his loved ones. His most notable credited work is the basis for the hyper-realistic holograms used in the Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, which was also his point of contention with Mr. Stark.”

“So let me get this straight,” Peter sighed, letting his head tilt back and closing his eyes. “This guy has fancy tech and a grudge against Mr. Stark?”

“That is an accurate summary.”

“And he looks just like Mr. Beck?”

“There was a ninety-nine point seven percent match.”

“Could be just a coincidence. I mean, how many guys with fancy tech and grudges against Mr. Stark have actually done something bad about it?”

“Compiling a list for you now.”

Peter peaked his eyes open for just long enough to catch a flash of Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko before closing his eyes again. “That’s okay, E.D.I.T.H. It was a rhetorical question.”

It could be a coincidence. Mr. Beck was from an alternate universe -- although, hadn’t Peter already explained why that idea was weird?  -- so it’s not entirely unlikely that someone from Peter’s universe could look just like him.

Peter buried his fingers in his hair and looked at Ned again. “I need to talk to someone about this before it drives me crazy.”

“Mr. Hogan, Mrs. Parker, and Mrs. Potts are listed as emergency contacts for you. Should I try one of them?”

“Aunt May will just freak out and Happy will just tell me to trust Mr. Fury and get annoyed at my ramblings.”

“Should I try Mrs. Potts then?”

Ned caught his eye and frowned. “You okay dude, you’ve got that look on your face?”

Look? What look? “Yeah,” he said, before tilting his head towards Betty, hoping Ned would get the point and separate from his new girlfriend long enough for them to talk.

“Contacting Mrs. Potts.”

“What? Wait, E.D.I.T.H., no,” he hissed quietly and turned away. In the corner of his eye, he saw Ned shrug before focusing back on Betty.

“You have reached the personal number of Mrs. Virginia Potts, CEO of Stark Industries,” a feminine voice with an Irish lilt answered. “I do not recognize this number. Please state your business and I will happily schedule an appointment for you.”

Peter blinked. “I thought her name was Pepper,” he muttered. Was Pepper her middle name? Or a nickname? How did he not know this?

“Oh, Peter, I’m sorry,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said, voice sounding warmer. “I did not realize it was you. Are you borrowing a phone?”

“Uh, no. I’m using E.D.I.T.H. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“I will log E.D.I.T.H.’s number for future reference. I’ll let Mrs. Boss know you’re calling her.”

“Wait!” Why do Mr. Stark’s AIs always do this to him? “I don’t want to bother her. She’s probably got important things going on.”

“Mrs. Boss is currently unoccupied. She will be with you in a second.”

“But -”

“Hello?”

“H-hey, Mrs. Potts,” Peter stuttered, burying his face in his hands. “Sorry to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother, Peter. It’s good to hear from you. How are you? Happy told me you went on a school trip to Europe. How is it?”

“I’m okay. The trip is… something. Um -”

“Petey! Is that Petey?”

“Yes, Morgan, it’s Peter. Would you like to say hi?”

“HI PETEY!”

Peter smiled, even if he couldn’t help but flinch at the loud voice right in his enhanced ears. “Hey, little Lady Morgana.”

“Is Petey coming over?”

“Not today,” Pepper chuckled. “He’s on a school trip, remember? Maybe when he gets back he can come over.”

“I’d love to!” Peter answered automatically. “I mean, if it’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay. You and May are always welcome. You can bring your friends too. You three could do with getting out of the city for a little bit this summer.”

“Sleepover!?” Morgan cheered.

“We’ll see.”

“Technically we’re out of the city right now,” Peter pointed out.

“Yes, from one city into another. You guys were going to Venice and Paris right?”

“Prague, actually, not Paris.”

“Well, that’s good for culture, but you kids could do with some nature in your life.”

Peter’s nose scrunched up at the idea of camping or marching through bug-filled forests. He liked the city, thank you very much. “Sounds great, Mrs. Potts.”

“I can hear you making a face, Peter. Honestly, you are so much like -”

Pepper cut herself off, but that didn’t stop the grief-guilt-pain mix from flooding through him.

“Anyways, I thought I told you to call me Pepper. So, where are you right now?”

“Uh… Austria? I think? I know we’re in the Alps,” he said, glancing out the window.

“That is correct, Peter. You are currently in the Central Eastern Alps,” E.D.I.T.H. helpfully provided. “Would you like to know your exact location?”

“That’s okay, E.D.I.T.H. Thanks.”

“You have E.D.I.T.H.?” Pepper asked.

“Yeah, Mr. Fury said Mr. Stark left her for me. Is that… Am I not supposed to have her?” Peter’s voice matched hers in confusion. Had Mr. Stark not left the glasses to him after all?

“No, or yes. Tony left them to you. I just didn’t think you’d get them already. I would have thought to wait until you’re eighteen, after graduation. I should have known Fury would meddle though. That man. Has he been bothering you? Is that why you seemed weird when I asked about the trip?”

“Kind of. Did you, uh, see what happened in Venice yesterday?”

“I think I heard something about a water monster. Oh! Oh, Peter, did you get dragged into that? I’m sorry. I know you were really hoping to get a break from all that nonsense during your trip.”

Peter felt something relax in him for the first time since seeing the suit in his suitcase. He didn’t know why, but Mrs. Potts was the only one that really understood why he had wanted to take a vacation from Spider-Man during the trip.

“Yeah, and right after Mr. Fury dragged me off. It, um,” Peter glanced at his classmates and scooted down in his seat again, lowering his voice. “I guess there’s more of those monsters, one for each element. Or natural element I guess. You know, earth, wind, water, and fire. They’re called elementals. At least, according to Mr. Beck.”

“Mr. Beck?”

“He’s the guy that fought the water elemental yesterday.”

“Oh, right, I think I saw him in the news. They didn’t give a name though. Is he a new superhero?”

“That’s… kind of what I wanted to talk about. E.D.I.T.H. and I were checking some stuff, but something feels weird, and I really need to talk it out to someone, but I didn’t want to worry Aunt May and Happy always gets grumpy when I ramble even though I know he doesn’t mean anything by it.”

“Grumpy,” Morgan chuckled and Peter jumped, having forgotten she was there.

“Honey, why don’t you go back to your movie. Peter and I need to talk about business stuff right now.”

“Okay,” Morgan groaned and Peter could just see her pout in his head. “Bye Petey.”

“Bye. I’ll come see you when I get back, okay.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“You can’t pinky promise over the phone,” the girl snorted and a moment later he heard a door shut.

“Okay, now tell me what’s wrong?” Pepper said in that voice Peter had only ever heard her use while visiting Stark Industries for something. Business Pepper, MJ called it with approving eyes when she’d overheard Peter explaining it to Ned.

Peter thought over how to start. “Do you know a guy named Dr. Ludwig Rinehart?” he ended up going with.

“The name's familiar. He was on the B.A.R.F. project, right?”

Peter couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out. Yeah, Mr. Stark definitely liked his acronyms. “Yeah, then he got fired for sending threats to Mr. Stark.”

“Oh yes, him. Does he have something to do with these elementals?”

“Maybe. See, after the water guy attacked, Mr. Fury showed up in my hotel room and shot Ned with a tranquilizer dart then dragged me away to his secret hideout.” Peter paused as he heard Mrs. Potts mutter something under her breath, but he couldn’t make it out and she didn’t say anything else so he continued, “That’s when I met Mr. Beck -- Quentin Beck -- and he explained that he and the elementals came from another universe -- which I thought was crazy because that would change what we understand about -- Oh, sorry I almost started rambling. Sorry, Mrs. Potts.”

“It’s fine, Peter. I’m used to it,” Pepper said, sounding fond. “So Beck and these elementals came from another universe? How?”

“Mr. Beck said it was because of something to do with the Infinity Stones, but I’m actually starting to wonder how true his story might be because E.D.I.T.H. and I were looking into the water monster attack and I noticed some weird energy anomalies, well E.D.I.T.H. pointed them out, but I noticed what was weird about them. I figured they were connected to the elemental because they start to build up right before it shows, but then they just vanish without any decay and there’s a weird delay between it’s defeated and when the energy disappears. And it’s weird that it just so happens to interfere with security systems, right?”

“What do you mean it interferes with security systems?” Pepper asked and Peter could hear what sounded like her fingers tapping at a tablet.

“Oh, well E.D.I.T.H.’s connected to a bunch of surveillance stuff, but everything in that area is disrupted during the fight. We figured it out when I tried to look up the fight. I figured maybe E.D.I.T.H. might be able to help out with taking down the elementals, but she couldn’t see anything about the fight because of the disruption. All we can go on at that time is news footage and social media.”

“That certainly does sound odd.”

“Or convenient?” Peter offered.

“Definitely suspicious,” Pepper agreed and Peter smiled. “How does this connect to Rinehart? And why are you getting involved? I thought you were on vacation. If Beck is handling this, then you should let him.”

“I was going to, but then Mr. Fury kidnapped our vacation.”

“WHAT!?”

“Y-yeah,” Peter said, his shoulders creeping up. “He said the next elemental was supposed to show up in Prague, but I told him I didn’t want to leave my class, and he said he understood so I thought that was the end of it, but then it turned out that he just used his super-spy tactics to get our class sent to Prague instead of Paris like we were originally supposed to. The bus we’re taking is even being driven by one of his guys.”

“He… I’m going to have words with that man.” Peter shivered at the anger in her voice. “Okay, I’ll deal with Fury. Just stay away from his people and stick to your class until I can get this taken care of, alright? This is not something you should be having to deal with, especially not while on vacation.”

“He said he needed me,” Peter explained, though he couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved that this was being taken out of his hands.

“He could have called Rhodey, or Wilson or Barnes or literally anyone that wasn’t a grieving seventeen-year-old currently on a well-deserved vacation!” Pepper snapped.

“Right.” Peter’s fingers once more landed on the glasses. “Thanks.”

“Of course, sweety.”

Peter probably would have blushed at the endearment, had he not been distracted by the bus stopping for gas. He stuck his phone back in his pocket, but kept the headphones on.

“Back to Rinehart?” she said, her voice more controlled now.

“Right.” Peter stood up and followed his classmates off the bus. “So after we figured that out, I asked -” Peter cut off when Dimitri held his arm out to stop him as soon as he stepped off the bus.

The man pointed to where a tall, scary-looking blonde woman was standing in a doorway.

“Peter?”

As the woman disappeared into the building, Peter turned to Dimitri with a nervous smile. “Sorry, I was told to stay with my class.”

Ignoring the man’s glare, Peter followed after the others before ducking behind a barn.

“Peter, what’s going on?”

“We’re at a rest stop. Mr. Fury’s guy, the one driving the bus, tried to get me to go with some woman. I did what you said though.” He said, looking over at where he could see MJ studying a large spider web out of earshot. He shivered, imaging the spider that must have made it.

Then Dimitri stepped around the corner, sending another shiver down his spine.

“Good.”

He took a step back at the bad feeling he was getting.

“Fury said -” the man began.

“I’m on the phone,” Peter interrupted, pointing at his headphones.

“E.D.I.T.H. can you transfer me to Peter’s phone and put me on speaker, please?” Pepper asked, a touch of annoyance in her voice.

“Would you like me to do that, Peter?”

“Sure,” Peter answered, pulling out his phone and unplugging his headphones.

“Excuse me, sir, but Peter and I are having a private conversation about confidential Stark Industries business.”

“Mrs. Potts,” the man growled, scowling at the sound of her voice. “I work with Fury. We need -”

“I’m sorry, but this is an urgent matter that I would like Peter to be involved in due to his status as CTO in training.”

If anything, the man’s scowl grew as he looked up at Peter. “CTO in training?”

Peter blushed. Mr. Stark had had him take an active role in Stark Industries after the whole Vulture incident, but he’d never put a name to it. Peter had just figured it was making the whole internship story legit. Was he seriously considered a CTO in training? What did a CTO even do?

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse us?”

Peter was getting serious death glare vibes from the man, but thankfully he turned and left.

“He’s gone,” Peter said, sticking the earbuds back in.

“I’m seriously going to tear Fury -- I mean, nevermind,” Pepper blustered, her audio returning to the glasses.

Peter snickered. “I’m seventeen. I do know what you were going to say, you know.”

“Hush. You are the pure kid and I will keep it that way!”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” Pepper groaned. “Morgan told me that I own the word shit the other day and Harley… goes without saying.”

“She told you what?” Peter laughed, leaning back against the barn.

“Peter, Rinehart.”

“Right,” he chuckled before focusing. “So after looking into the energy thing, I had E.D.I.T.H. track down a picture of Mr. Beck without his helmet and then she ran facial recognition. Rinehart was the result.”

“Beck is Rinehart?”

“Either that or he looks just like him. Different universes and all that. But considering how often supervillains tend to have stupid grudges against Mr. Stark and all the weirdness about his story and the energy anomalies…”

“Better safe than sorry?”

“Yeah. He’s into holograms, right? Maybe he’s faking the attacks for some reason. He’d be able to cause a lot of damage without getting any of the blame because everyone thinks he’s the one who saved the day.”

“Holograms wouldn’t be able to cause actual damage.”

“Holograms covering robots would though. Or maybe drones?”

“Weaponized drones!” Pepper gasped. “Like the ones for E.D.I.T.H. They would definitely be able to cause that kind of damage. More, even, depending on how many there were.”

“E.D.I.T.H. has weaponized drones!?” Peter pulled out his phone and started looking over the list again.

“For emergencies,” she emphasized.

“Do all the AIs have Instant-Kill Modes or only mine,” he grumbled, glaring at the list.

“He worried about you. We all do. We just want you to be as safe as possible.”

Peter glanced over as he heard Mr. Harrington call out and he slowly made his way towards the bus. “Right. So you think there might be something to it? The whole Rinehart thing.”

“While I wouldn’t say alternate universes are a crazy idea at this point -- heaven knows after time travel and aliens and… What has life even become since Tony put on that stupid suit?” Pepper muttered that last part and Peter fidgeted with the wire for the headphones as he realized he wasn’t supposed to hear it. “Anyways, I think looking a little closer to home first might be a good idea. I’ve got a few contacts, both my own and some of Tony’s, that I can check in with. Just try to stay out of trouble for now and let me know about any changes. I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve found anything out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, coming up to the end of the line to get back onto the bus. He tried to ignore both the insult Flash snipped at him when he stood next to him and the boring eyes of Dimitri.

“Be careful,” she reiterated.

“I will. Talk to you later.”

“You better.”

Anyone else catch that Beck insinuated that's not actually his name?

[freedom-shamrock]

The Ladybug Special - Part 4

Also on AO3 Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Posting this as day 2 of my personal ML WIP-Completion December challenge.

Adrien had wanted to hug Marinette the moment he saw her, but that wasn't quite the relationship they had, not yet anyway, and Nino was right that he needed to keep it chill until the time was right. Romance and wooing required the right ambiance and timing. He squirmed a bit as they took turns getting clobbered by her in Mecha Strike. It was no wonder his Lady was so good at piloting the mech when Max had been akumatized.

"Hmm," Marinette said, setting her controller on the desk. "Are you all right?"

"Me?" Adrien asked with an embarrassing squeak.  "Just fine. How about you?"

"You're not usually this easy to beat," she pointed out.

"You have to forgive him, Marinette," Alya said quickly.  "We took him for ice cream and he's not used to getting that kind of sweet stuff."

"Ohhh."  Marinette nodded.  "Sugar rush, huh? Hard to focus?"

"Something like that," Adrien agreed, readily bobbing his head along with her.

After what felt like forever, Alya's timer finally went off. "It's been great gang, but I have to head.  Siblings to corrupt."

Nino got up with her, not even bothering to make an excuse. He babysat with her more often than Marinette did. "Go easy on my bro, Mari. That ice cream really did a number on him."

"I'm fine ," he insisted. He knew his friends were trying to play off his state of mind in case things didn't go well. But that was completely unnecessary. He had this under control.

"I'll just show them out," Marinette said, smiling at him. "Then do you want to watch a movie or something."

"Definitely something," Adrien agreed. "I don't have to be home for a while yet, and we haven't gotten to spend much time together recently.  Maybe you can show me your latest designs?"

"Oh." She looked delighted and surprised at the suggestion. "Sure. If that's what you want."

While she was gone, Adrien fished Plagg out of his pocket. He'd only gotten about two minutes with his kwami during a bathroom break to discuss this exciting development. "You won't have to stay in there much longer, buddy."  Their kwamis could hang out when they were together. That was a nice side-benefit. Going to see Master Fu together, instead of on their own, would be efficient, and a whole lot more fun. Study dates were totally a thing; Nino and Alya did those all the time. Oh gosh, how had he gotten so lucky?

"So you're sure about this?" Plagg asked, tilting his head slightly.

Adrien nodded.  Nothing would change his mind at this point.  "Her kwami is Tikki, right?"

"Yeah, but she's Sugarcube to me." He straightened up as if this was some sort of honor.

"Do you want to go find her now, or after I tell Maribug…" His eyes went wide as he realized he'd had the perfect name forever. "Buginette." He let out a little squeal and pranced in a circle.

"Geeze, kid.  You're a mess." He pawed at Adrien's nose, forcing the boy to meet his cat eyes. "Tomcats do not melt into a puddle at the thought of their lady, okay? You won't be much good as a protector if you're all gooey."

"Cats are liquids," Adrien replied.

"You're a predator and you wield the ultimate force of destruction," Plagg corrected. Then he let out a tiny huff. I'm going to stay with you for now." He darted back into Adrien's pocket as they both picked up treads on the stairs. "Both so I can tease you later, and because someone needs to be able to save you when your mouth gets ahead of your brain."

Adrien snorted, unable to respond because Marinette was cresting the steps, holding a tray of snacks.

"I thought you might be hungry," she said. "And maybe a little something to balance you out after all the sugar would be helpful."  She slid the tray onto the desk.

His mouth went dry.  All the rehearsed and carefully considered words from two years of crushing on his partner, and today's suggestions from Alya and Nino, completely dropped out of his head now that they were alone. This never happened to him! He could not crash and burn.  He would not.

He took a deep breath and blurted, "I'd love to meet Tikki.  She sounds like the sweetest kwami in the world." Crap. That was supposed to come after she agreed to go out with him. But at least he hadn't gone with the 'Mari me' proposal that needed to come much later.  Like next month or something.

She turned toward him, her eyes wide and her mouth frozen in a little O of surprise.

He could fix this.  He totally could. He was a hero, after all. "We should go on a double date, find a place that has cookies and cheese... Though any date would be a double date, really, since it's not like either of us will leave our kwamis at home when we go out. You know what I mean?  It would be just my luck that an akuma would attack when I'm out with the world's most amazing lady, and I've gotta be prepared, you know?" Okay. That wasn't really better, but the information was all out there now, and he could totally work with this.

She hadn't spoken, though now her expression had turned calculating. Yes, she was clever. She'd figure it all out and save him from his rambling.

"Oh, and I got you something." He reached behind her computer and pulled out the little box he'd hidden there when he first got up to her room. "I thought this was a pretty… uh… momentous occasion, but Alya and Nino kept rejecting my ideas. I have lots of future gift plans though, so that's cool. And I hope you're okay with me spoiling you, because you're amazing and deserve everything ."

"Alya and Nino know?" she quietly interrupted his tsunami of words.

Oh dear.  He recognized the terror on her face. "Of course they know, they helped me figure it out… " When her fear only increased, he realized he'd misunderstood. "Oh.  No, no, no. Not that . Of course they don't know that you're Ladybug." He beamed at her.

Though her worry seemed to lessen slightly, it remained, paired with a dose of confusion. "They don't know I'm Ladybug?" she asked, as if clarifying, though her voice sounded a bit squeaky.  When he nodded, she continued. "But they know… something else? What are you talking about Adrien? What is going on?"

"I'm sorry.  I'm making a mess." He covered his face with both hands. "Destruction is my specialty, so I guess it makes sense."

"Stop."  Marinette pulled his hands away, stemming the tide of words. "It's… you're all over the place and it's too much at once."

"If I start over, can we pretend I didn't say the rest of that stuff?" he asked.  He wished Plagg had gone off to find Tikki, this was probably his fault, stupid being of chaos and destruction.

She nodded.

"You're an amazing person, and I've always known that."  He smiled when that caused her to look away, a blush kissing her cheeks. "And it's true whether you're my classmate and friend, or as my partner."

"How?" She took a deep breath. "How did you figure it out? How long have you known?" She stepped back, worrying her hands together.

"It's only been a couple of hours, and the story, it's kind of funny, actually." He pulled out his phone. "Alya, Nino and I met up at André's, and he gave me the same sweetheart ice cream he always does."  He opened the text from Alya, expanded the picture of his sundae, and held it out for her to see. "I've always assumed it meant Ladybug, cause she the yin to Chat Noir's yang, but Nino suggested it was you."

Cradling his phone in both hands, she stared at him in surprise.

"And I just… I realized we were both right." He shrugged.  "I didn't tell them about Ladybug, though. They would have just thought it was a celebrity crush. They don't know her… you the way I do."

"And that was all it took for you to realize it was me?" she asked, her voice a bit more shrill than usual.

He nodded. "It just… it came to me. I just suddenly knew . Probably like how you always know what to do with your lucky charms." He took back the phone. "I don't think anyone else would figure it out, I mean Nino and Alya didn't, and if anyone was going to, it'd be them." He hoped that was enough reassurance.

"Um… when you figured out it was me…" She shifted her weight, fidgeting. "What did you think?"

He beamed at her. "I was really happy. Like ridiculously happy. I don't think I'd want anyone else as my Ladybug. And if André's magic is accurate, and you're willing to go out with me, I would be the luckiest guy on the planet."

"And you're really my Chat Noir?" she asked.

He tugged Plagg out of his pocket and held him out for her to see. "In person."

The next thing he knew, Marinette had thrown her arms around his neck and was pressed firmly against his chest. Yeah. This was heaven right here. He rested his chin on her shoulder, pressing his cheek to hers. After a long moment of contentment he whispered, "I know you didn't want us to find each other, and I promise I didn't try. But I'm so happy it's you. Do you think you can be okay with this?"

She loosened her hold, and he followed suit, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but she kept her hands on his shoulders. "I'm very much okay with this." She giggled.

"And would you want to go out with me, on an actual date?" he asked. "I'm so crazy about you."

"Ain't that the truth," Plagg interjected.

She met his eyes, happier than he'd ever seen her. One hand came up to rest on his cheek. "I'd love to go out with you.  On a recurrent basis."

Adrien pulled her back in for a hug.  "This is the best day of my life. Second only to becoming Chat Noir and meeting both of you."

Ice cream reveal. It's a thing now. And I had such fun with this. Thanks @lnc2 for letting me play in your sandbox.

[hailqiqi]

2019 Fic Round-Up

Writer buddies, let’s do this (as in, if you haven’t yet, do yours too!)

Stats:

(I’m going with a random quote from each one because I’m a fan of long summaries.)

Fics Posted (Gen): 3

A Little Taste of What Should Have Been

And that was how Pidge found herself kneeling sideways on the couch, face inches away from Lance’s shoulder as he disinfected first two sewing needles and then the earrings with a professional air.

Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!

“Okay, so you’ve been magically de-aged — because apparently that’s a thing. Why is that a thing? Whatever. Of course it’s a thing out here."

Here

“Don’t make it weird, Lance,” she huffed, already tugging him into the room and closing the door behind them. “C’mon. I’ll help you wash all that off.”

Fics Posted (Plance Oneshots): 7

2 x 100 word drabbles

(Domestic Fantasy & Kabedon)

The Advantages of Being Small

“I couldn’t help it! It was just too tempting!”

Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See

Of course a fortune teller would appear as soon as he started talking about one. They were on a magical world with magical aliens and Lance was like, the hero of the story, so it made sense that events would be tied to his dialogue. Most importantly, it was not creepy at all, and anyone who said Lance was creeped out could go suck it.

the world is out there, my dear, but we're in here

Pidge froze. The reaction was so subtle that Lance would have missed it if he hadn't been watching for it -- she relaxed herself almost immediately, eyebrows raised in casual challenge -- but she'd reacted, all the same.

so it turns out I kinda missed you

Grumbling, Lance crossed his arms and sunk back into his seat. “I could’ve come to get her on my own, you know.” “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t be able to make out in the back seat on the way home.”

The Stars Aren't the Same for You and I

Dancing with Pidge was fun.

Fics Posted (Plance Chaptered): 2 (1.5?)

Skirting Katabasis

"So... Do you think you could put it back together?" Pidge tilted the tablet towards her and looked at him hard. His expression was hesitant, but his eyes were soft...almost pleading. She smirked. "Who do you think I am, Keith?”

The Future in Snippets (Chapters 3-5)

In truth, she had no idea what was fine. Her brain had switched off several heartbeats ago, but she couldn’t really find it in herself to care.

Fics Posted (Plance Collabs): 2

Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love (even chapters)

The prince doesn’t ignore the princess for the nerdy sidekick. Even if that sidekick was a badass fighter who’d saved his life countless times. Or a genius who constantly left his head spinning. Or totally into the same video games that defined Lance’s childhood, and the owner of a smile so blinding it made the stars look dim.

(shoutout to @sp4c3-0ddity​, my co-conspirator who made Pidge’s star so bright!)

It's Beginning to Look a Lot like A Christmas Carol  (Prologue & Chap 1)

“An intervention?” “Sure. Have you ever seen A Christmas Carol?” His mind freezes. “You mean the Dickens book?” “Uh…” Keith’s dad trails off, blinking. “No, the movie. With the little green man? I think they made a version with the grouchy duck, too.”

(shoutout to the awesome @rueitae​ and @sp4c3-0ddity​ who brought both the crack and the tears essential items for any Christmas party all we’re missing is the food fight and divorce)

Total Fics Posted: 14

Oooh wow. That’s more than one a month!

 Ship/Character Breakdown:

Ship Breakdown: Plance, with over 75%

[colleen image]

Character Breakdown: Pidge and Lance are in 100% of my fics. Hunk is next in 5 (with 1 POV!), then Keith and Allura both get 3 (both even get POV parts and Keith’s a major focus in Skirting Katabasis), then Shiro, Coran and Lance/Pidge’s families are more bit players.

I only just realized that the chapter in Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love is the only time I’ve really written Shiro. And now I’m horrified because Shiro was my first love.

Characters that had the Main Focus: 6 +1 Lance POV, 4+2 Pidge POV, 2 Switching POV fics and then the drabbles don’t count.  I actually started out the year tearing my hair out because I related to Pidge so much more, but now I really enjoy writing Lance. It’s actually a little tricky to get into Pidge’s headspace to work on my chaptereds sometimes.

Specifics

 Best/Worst Title?

Best Skirting Katabasis. C’mon. That’s like, literary (Katabasis being hell or destruction in Greek mythos). Worst Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See. I had help with it but this fic was just so hard to name.

Best/worst last line?

Best I tend to structure my chapters/one-shots around the last line so…this is hard.

"What took you so long? I've been waiting for you."

(Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See)

My personal favourite, though, is from so it turns out I kinda missed you:

Luis laughed. “Hi, Not-My-Girlfriend. I’m Not-His-Brother, Luis.”

Worst

Hunk just laughed. “You can’t fix that right now, so you might as well have some fun!”

(Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!) So cheesey.

The last line that gives me personal arghs is from Here:

He buried his face in her sodden hair and cried.

...because a day after posting I realised that I should’ve written wept, dammit, and now it annoys me every time I see it.

Honourable mention to The Advantages of Being Small for winning the no-context award:

“Reckon I could fit three fingers up there?”

 General Questions

 Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Way more than I thought!  I think I had planned out about 8? Of those I wrote two (zine fics), started but haven’t finished 2, and the other 4 are still pending.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

None, my obsessions are long-lasting and constant.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Skirting Katabasis or It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like A Christmas Carol. Though TBH I enjoy re-reading most of the stuff I posted in the last 6 months.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

In every single metric on AO3 it’s The Future in Snippets. Y’all like your porn (even if there’s not much of it).

On tumblr it’s Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake! by like 100 notes.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

If this is a roundabout way of saying ‘What’s your LEAST popular story?’ it’s The Advantages of Being Small, but TBH that’s a very short crack-ficlet so it doesn’t bother me (same with the drabbles).

If the question is “What fic do you think people should like MORE?” the answer is Skirting Katabasis. It’s fifth on the list for bookmarks and 9th for Kudos, and I’m not sure why?? Does it sound too gen? Do you not like Platonic Adventure Kidge? Honestly y’all are missing out it’s like the best thing I’ve ever written. Hands down.

Story that could have been better?

The Future in Snippets. Hands down. It was started on a whim, as a practice fic for another idea I’ve been nurturing for even longer, and back when I was newer at this writing thing. It wasn’t very tightly plotted – in fact the plot was expanded upon and changed multiple times before I settled on what I have now, several chapters in – and certain things that should have been seeded were left out of earlier chapters because I wasn’t experienced enough to figure out how to work them in and foolishly thought ‘oh, it won’t matter! Such a small detail!’, so now I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how to compensate.

I tend to work off very tight outlines, but Snippets was missing that for a large part of the process and I think it shows. I do think I’ve done a good job nailing the emotion in it, though, and that’s like 95% of the fic so as long as I keep that up it’ll all be fine.

Sexiest story?

The Future in Snippets is smut so… First place for SFW sexy goes to the world is out there, my dear, but we’re in here.

Saddest story?

I think The Stars Aren’t the Same for You and I wins because it’s a heartbreaking situation with no good resolution. There’s no comfort to be found there.

Most fun?

A Little Taste of What Should Have Been. It’s just…fun!

The most fun I had writing was Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love, because it was challenging, and I’d wake up every day excited to find out what had happened in the last chapter overnight.

Story with single sweetest moment?

The Future in Snippets (Chapter 4) 

“Um…” She turned the brush in her hands over again before holding it up sheepishly. “Do you remember how you said you’d braid my hair?”

Lance’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really?!”

A giggle escaped her lips and she smiled, nodding. “Really.”

Hardest story to write?

The Future in Snippets. The emotions in this fic have become a convoluted mess and it is growing exponentially harder to write as I continue. I simply don’t have the level of skill required, but by God I will find it so that I can finish it properly.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Skirting Katabasis!  The outline for this fic is tight, and I freaking love writing this fic. Like I just feel like smiling the whole process. I don’t know why. It feels like the wrong answer because it’s a fairly involved fic, but I just enjoy everything about it.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love actually gave me a much better understanding of Lance. Skirting Katabasis made me really look at Keith and realise that hey – the dude is actually very emotional, very chatty, and very soft (he’s so often typecast as the ‘moody loner’ because that’s what they call him in the show but he really doesn’t act like that).

Most overdue story?

Uh. The Future in Snippets was originally scheduled to be finished in January 2018, so… I also have a soulmate WIP which was meant to be for V-Day 2018.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I started to play about with other POVs, and discovered that I can write other POVs? I also did two collabs!  The first one I discovered that Reem really is a sweetheart, and with the second I discovered that either I’m really bossy or really persuasive or both maybe I should go into politics.

I also did a couple of events and zines and exchanges. I discovered that piece-writing – like writing with a target/deadline/outside expectation – does not agree with me, and I will no longer sign up for events/zines/exchanges.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

1.     Finish my WIPs.

2.     Write my Pidge Makes Bad Decisions fic!

3.     That’s about it really. Can you take over the world by writing fic? If so, that’s going on the list.

[nocturnal-cannon]

The Uncharted Map of You

Mature - m/m - Sora/Riku

2 years after that events of KH3 - Riku is lonely on a solo mission as part of Mickey’s guard while staying in Twilight Town - until Sora unexpectedly shows up with something on his mind.  Chapter 3

He fell asleep in my arms, I could tell when it happened by his deep breathing. It was hard for me to sleep, unused to having another body in my small bed. And it felt like a dream already to have the brunette there, tucked in under my chin. The morning light eventually woke me, the sun almost fully up. I cursed under my breath and rolled out of bed. Had to get ready for work.

After brushing my teeth and showering, I emerged from the bathroom in my work uniform. Sora was still asleep, on his side with his naked back to me. I woke him by pressing a kiss in between his shoulder blades. He groaned and turned over, opening his eyes to slits.

“You’re beautiful in the morning,” I whispered to him. He was. The golden light lit up his skin and hair, set them shining.

“You mean, manly,” he echoed my joke from the night before. We snickered.

“I have to go,” I said in a low voice.

“Call in sick,” He flopped his arm over the side of the bed.

“The King’s guard can’t call in sick,” I chortled. “Will you wait for me? I’ll be home by 6.”

“I’m not done with you yet,” he managed to be devilish, even this early in the day. “I’ll wait.”

I pressed kisses into his neck, his lips. “Thank you. Go back to sleep.”

I glanced at his inert body one more time before shutting the apartment door behind me. I could have skipped to Mickey’s hotel, next to the town hall. So last night hadn’t been a dream or fantasy, it was real. Sora and I had really… done all that together. Aqua was already waiting outside Mickey’s room, hands folded patiently.

“Good morning,” she called to me. “The King is almost ready.”

“Great,” I said, my mind miles away. We escorted Mickey to the town hall boardroom, the delegates were served coffee and pastries. The scent was maddening, us guards would be offered them on our individual breaks but the work day was already crawling by at a snail’s pace. I shifted from foot to foot. Eventually Terra strode in to relieve Aqua for her break and they would switch positions; Terra would take her place with me inside while Aqua resumed the exterior guard post.

I couldn’t focus on the meeting at hand, the discussion was on budgeting and expanding the pathways between worlds - dead boring. The events of last night kept playing in my head, in delicious detail. I could slow down the interesting bits in my imagination, play them over and over. I couldn’t stop myself, I held my half boner down by putting my hands in my pockets, though that was a distinctly unlike proper guard behaviour. Heartless could have busted down the door and they would have taken me out immediately.

“Are you ok?” Terra shot to me from the corner of his mouth, standing a few feet away.

“Yeah, I just have something to do after work that’s on my mind,” I said, pulling my hands back out and shaking my head.

“What?” Terra said. God, why was he asking?

“I’m just-” Sora was making me utterly inarticulate, even from a distance. “Picking up an order from the Bistro.”

“Oh, nice.” Terra whispered back. “We’ll go with you.”

We being Aqua and himself. “Sure,” I said, pressing my lips into a smile.

Leon, the fourth and last member of the King’s guard staffed on this trip, came in to relieve me. I texted Sora while I ate quickly on my break. The coffee gave me a pleasant, excited buzz.

What are you doing?

Just laying around naked, waiting for you ;) ;)

Don’t tease me.

I love it so.

I stopped myself from firing back, I love you so. I didn’t want to come across as a lovesick teenager or something. Even though I had known Sora most of my life, and I knew I did love him, it was too soon to say it. I had to keep this going for as long as I could. The idea of Sora leaving me alone here again, going back home without me, made a pain in my chest twinge.

Back to work now.

Boo.

I took the last shift of guarding the front exterior, Leon at the rear, Aqua back inside the boardroom with her beau. I paced restlessly for most of the afternoon. The sexy replays had mostly receded  by then, replaced by plans on how I would wiggle away from the others after work. I didn’t want them to know about Sora, I had some guilty feeling that he wasn’t supposed to be there. But what was really the harm in them knowing? Mickey knew Sora well too and probably wouldn’t mind that he was here. The sun began to dip lower, finally the day was drawing to an end. The four of us escorted Mickey back to his hotel, where Leon stayed on post with him.

“Riku,” Mickey turned to me before we left. “Is everything ok? You seem tired today.”

“I am tired, your Majesty,” Grateful he gave me an out for my strange behaviours. “I didn’t get a good sleep last night, I was tossing and turning.”

“Well, rest up tonight!” Mickey chirped. “We can’t have you falling asleep on your feet.”

“My apologies, your Highness.”

“Ready to go?” Terra asked me outside the hotel.

“Absolutely,” I answered. The three of us easily jumped onto the back of the street tram as it approached, rode it down the street and leaped off in front of the Bistro. Dinner patrons were already seated on the outdoor patio, enjoying the evening.

Olette was working the hostess stand inside at the front of the restaurant.

“Hey, guys,” she said cheerfully.

“Hey,” I said. “Can I get, um, a quail to go?” That should be enough food for the two of us tonight.

“Sure thing!” she started jotting down our orders on a notepad.

After the other two had placed dinner orders, Terra turned to me. “I thought you had something special pre-ordered.”

“Oh,” I feigned a short laugh. “No, sorry.”

He and Aqua were unabashedly holding hands. God, get a room you two. They probably did have a room. And they were probably tearing it up last night too. How would they react if I were holding hands with Sora, their good friend, in front of them? My Gummi phone buzzed.

On your way? Xxxxxxxx

Be there soon, I typed back.

“Who’s that?” Aqua asked, gesturing at the phone. Why were they so nosey today?

“Uh, just Sora,” I said. Too dumb to make up something inconspicuous on the spot.

“Oh, how is he?” Aqua brightened.

“He’s perfect,” I said too quickly. “I mean, he’s fine.”

After about 15 minutes, a staff member of the kitchen brought my order in a box out to me.

“Thanks,” I said, then turned to my coworkers. “Gotta go.” I bolted out the front doors, leaving Aqua and Terra stuttering in my wake. I tucked the box under my arm like a football, and I ran. Inside my apartment, Sora was puttering in the kitchen, shirtless. No words spoken, I dropped the box on the counter and crossed to him, reaching out. Our lips met, they folded on top of one other as if moulded to do so. Warmth flooded my veins, the nervous shakiness I had suffered all day melted from my body. When our lips finally broke apart, I held him to me, pulling his head against my chest. Aware that we stood in front of the kitchen window but I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was that I could hold him, finally, my best friend and now lover.

I missed you, didn’t seem like an adequate phrase. My body called to you every second I was gone, may have been a bit mellow dramatic but it was the truth.

“What did you bring me?” Sora’s arms slid from around me. He opened the box, revealing the steaming bird surrounded by roasted vegetables. “Mmm!”

I brought out plates and we divided up the meal, Sora used a fork to savagely rip meat off the bones and drag it onto his plate.  We sat across from one other, methodically chewing. When I met his eyes, I blushed. We were both forcing ourselves to act casual but could see last night’s events replaying behind both our eyes. But Sora’s expression was mostly unreadable - for once. He was hiding his feelings well behind a blue-eyed mask. He tried to make small talk with me about work but I didn’t care to relive that horrible day again.

“It was dead boring, always is.” My voice may have snapped, maybe too aggressively. “What did you do all day?”

“Not much, really,” Sora stared for a moment then shrugged off my tone. “Scrounged for snacks in your cupboard. I tried to watch the movie on the projector down there from the window, but it’s not the best view from up here.”

My shoulders sagged. Sora wasn’t the type to be kept cooped up, not even close. I sensed his impending unhappiness, and doubts of his feelings about last night began to creep up my neck. The memories of Sora taking me into his mouth suddenly made me supremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. Did he regret it? Was he disgusted?

I couldn’t hold onto the facade anymore and blurted, “How do you feel? About what happened last night?” About me.

“I-” Sora’s face and neck suddenly shot up in flames. He searched the table for what he was trying to say. “It was amazing.” When he finally met my gaze again, there were tears standing in his eyes.

I dashed to him, throwing myself down to his feet and placing my head in his lap, circling my arms around him. He pulled my head up to look at me, my heart was shuddering like racehorse’s.

“I like you so much,” He muttered. “It’s scaring me a little.”

“I know,” I grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles. The relief washed over me, he did still like me. “Maybe we should slow down a bit.”

“This happened so fast,” He said. “I mean, I know I came here with the intention of confessing to you or something, but I didn’t know… what ultimately would happen.”

“I’m sorry,” I choked. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you so far.”

“No, you didn’t,” He caressed my face. “Trust me, I wanted to do it.” He laughed lightly, “You’re actually the one who stopped me last night, remember?”

My face burned again. “Oh yeah,” he was right. I had to shake off these doubts. I was just so accustomed to hiding my feelings for him, this would take some getting used to.

“Let’s just talk tonight, we can cuddle each other to sleep. No pressure,” I said, standing up. When I looked to Sora’s face again, he was pouting.

[sp4c3-0ddity]

tagged by @hailkuvira and @amillionsmiles. thanks!! <3

tagging uhhhh who have i somewhat interacted with that writes and hasn’t been tagged already uh @magical-merlance, @cosmicdusttrails, @tiredgaykeith, @rueitae, @elby9001, @ anyone else that wrote fic this year and wants to take a stab at it??

STATS:

Fics posted:  they’re all...VLD

Tumblr exclusives:  my fic tag for your viewing pleasure. but here’s a list of everything (i think) that i didn’t also post on ao3 (with the exception of a few that will be posted probably within the next week):

Misnomer, a crack fic

a euphoric plance kiss that i just wrote on a text post i reblogged

a Cupid AU plance ficlet i also wrote based on a text post

ficlet about Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid after Lotor escapes them

Pidge getting Love Advice from Lance, also an addition to someone else’s text post

How I think Hunk learned Pidge is a girl, with a teeny tiny bit of plance because it’s a section of a plance fic i meant to finish that i’ve since lost this is why you save/back up your work often

Outtakes from ‘Howl at the Moon’

A The Wizard of Oz AU (honestly bless the anon that prompted this)

A shallura hurt/comfort prompt fill

Whatever the hell this is, all i know is that it’s gen but still involves kissing and is kinda a crack fic

FF.Net:  N/A

Archive of Our Own:  i’ll just go with oldest first like i did in the last section

Give a Little (5859 words), fake dating, my first posted plance fic

Ship to Wreck (3544 words), gen (despite the title hehe), sailor/age of (western) exploration-type Pidge-centric AU

Spectrum (9562 words), gen, a Wheel of Time/fantasy AU

Winging It (2187 words), gen, fun canon-verse fic where they race paper airplanes

A Slip of the Thumb (18697 words), plance, wrong number/text modern AU

Break a Leg and Other Cliches (29293 words), plance, modern ballroom dance competition AU

Incompatible Schedules (1025 words), plance, canon-verse fluff

All’s Fair in Love and Gaming (653 words), plance, canon-verse fluff

Be Gentle (4881 words), plance, canon-verse body swap AU

If Wishes Were Fishes (1167 words), plance, canon-verse vaguely bittersweet beach fic

Lightning Round (3003 words), plance, canon-verse battle couple in training fic

Build on Shaky Ground (3337 words), gen/plance (platonic), kinda angsty Garrison era

Unknowable (562 words), plance, canon-verse philosophical fluff

Wisdom of Hindsight (1344 words), plance, canon-verse angst

Caught (2727 words), plance, canon-verse lovebug AU

In Time (724 words), pallura, canon-verse hurt/comfort

The Art of Seduction (2075 words), plance, canon-verse fluff

Falling’s Not the Problem (26179 words), plance, future canon angst with a happy ending sorta thing

Smuggle Your Heart (21931 words), plance, Star Wars-ish AU

Pocket of Space (6203 words), kallura, a Vorkosigan Saga-ish AU that’s kinda...languishing at the moment

Howl at the Moon (10271 words), plance, future canon undercover fake marriage thing

Failure to Launch (1740 words), gen, Sam & Coran hurt/comfort and feels in general

Specter (18325 words), plance, future canon AU, and, um, major character death fic

What Not to Do in Chemistry Lab (2458 words), gen, modern/college AU with my chemist Hunk headcanons

Search and Rescue (1684 words), gen, pre-canon baby Holts fluff

Shopping for Disaster (6108 words), gen, canon-verse Allura & Pidge bonding-gone-wrong fic

Ink on a Page (8807 words*), gen, Pidge-centric Inkheart AU

In the Making (8184 words), plance, canon-verse/future canon ~over the years~ kinda thing

Strangeness and Charm (73407 words*), plance, a collection of prompts cross-posted from tumblr so they’re really a bunch of individual fics but i’ll count them as one for now

*word count not entirely accurate because subsequent chapters are complete but not posted

Total number:  39 (counting S&C as one fic) Total word count:  288,132 part of me wishes i was making this up

Ship/Character breakdown: Ship breakdown:  plance, undoubtedly, wins; gen stuff takes second place. then there’s the odd shallura/kallura/pallura stuff (i like all Allura ships so) Character breakdown:  hmm. Pidge and Lance dominate, obviously. Pidge also tends to dominate by gen stuff, with Allura possibly coming in second. Poor Shiro and Keith (though i still love them) kinda......lose

Characters that had the main focus: Pidge in much of my plance and gen stuff, Lance in much of my plance stuff, Allura in a decent amount of my gen stuff as well as in that languishing kallura fic

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title:  None really jump out at me, but I think‘Build on Shaky Ground’. Also before i suffer some serious post-posting (hehe) embarrassment, I’ve titled this brand-spanking new fic ‘The Start of Something New?’ (the question mark is compulsory) and i’m way too proud of myself for that reference to HSM at the moment. Honorable mention to ‘Search and Rescue’ for sounding more serious than the fic’s plot actually is

Worst title:  I’m actually displeased with most, but only ‘Smuggle Your Heart’ makes me cringe every time I see it

Best/worst first line? Best:  not sure but as i look now the first line from this fic gave me a good laugh:

Lance thought that after two years in space fighting furry purple aliens while flying a sentient robot lion that merged with four other sentient robot lions to form one large robot man nothing could possible surprise him.

Worst:  if i actually took the time to look through all my fics, i’d probably find so many awful first lines, but i’m too lazy so this one is a weak first line from my one and only shallura fic:

Shiro had never seen Matt and Pidge happier.

Best/worst last line? Best:  uh to be honest i think they’re all kinda bad but here are a couple funny ones (from this and this) that don’t require much work on my part sorry i’m lazy:

Lance watched him go for a tic, shrugged, and went off in search of someone else to bother, preferably someone he would not mind kissing.

“It was strange enough that I actually don’t want to forget, so listen closely, because I won’t tell it twice.”

Worst:  point at any one of my fics. i’m never happy with the Last Line. but here from Shopping for Disaster (it makes sense in context):

He still wrote the ticket.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote...way more

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

definitely VLD in general, because i was still...hesitant to get into it?? i didn’t watch it till spring of this year 2017 a few months after season 2 came out, i think What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

There’s this one (named ‘Siren Song’) that has yet to be posted into my collection on ao3 and it’s a concept i very much want to expand into a fully fledged long fic. and, to be honest, i thought it would get more notes than it did

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

By tumblr notes, this one ('A Sticky Situation’ on ao3) takes the cake with 168 notes

By kudos/bookmarks/comments on ao3, that would be A Slip of the Thumb with 225 kudos and 31 bookmarks

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

Me, constantly:  I write gen fic too guys (in all seriousness, my Inkheart AU is going to be great)

Story that could have been better?

Can i say all of them?? No?? Okay, taking recent fic into account (because i do think i’ve improved overall even in the last few months), i wish i’d spent more time and put more effort into ‘Shopping for Disaster’, especially with making the action scenes more plausible, making the Druid scarier (because i want to get better at writing horror, believe it or not), etc. Pro tip though:  don’t write while you have a headache

And actually now that i think of it, I would scrap all of ‘Wisdom of Hindsight’ because it’s awful and uses a trope i really hate

Sexiest story?

sex?? in my fanfic??

but anyway!! hmm...’The Art of Seduction’ probably had the most graphic (except also not really) makeout scene. ‘Propriety’ (part of the collection) was almost definitely the most suggestive. ‘Howl at the Moon’ had the double whammy of a fakeout makeout and a fake marriage along with the kiss at the very end of the fic. so i dunno, i guess it’s in the eye of the beholder??

as far as vibe is concerned though, i actually think ‘Smuggle Your Heart’ is kinda...sexy?? *shrugs* Saddest story?

‘Specter’ without a doubt. *cue evil laughter* Most fun?

‘Smuggle Your Heart’ was actually wildly fun to write. i was really into action scenes at the time

Story with single sweetest moment?

not sure, but in my humble opinion it would the majority of ‘Burnout’ (also from the collection), particularly this sizeable bit:

Pidge would never admit it to anyone - except to Lance himself, maybe - but she liked it when he clung to her like this, or when she latched herself onto him. There was just something soothing about having another human body pressed against hers, a balm for the mind and a relaxant for the muscles.

Some of the tension trickled out of her as she leaned back into Lance, and his arms tightened around her, sensing her need.

“Guess what?” Lance said, voice soft and close to her ear.

“…did Coran get his hand stuck in something weird again?”

Lance rubbed his nose - scratching, probably - against the side of her head, then chuckled, the vibration reverberating from his chest into her back. “No,” he said. “Try again.”

“Hunk figured out a way to imitate peanut butter?”

“All right, you get one more guess before I tell you.”

Pidge rolled her eyes but said, “Did you finally find out how to swim in the upside down pool?”

“Oh, ha ha, very funny, Pidge,” Lance grumbled.

For some reason, that made her giggle, if only because the image of Lance’s last pitiful attempt to swim laps in the Castle’s pool cheered her.

“So…what?” Pidge said, turning her head slightly so that Lance could see her frown. Of course he would dangle a mystery in front of her without giving her a chance to solve it…

“I love you,” he said, pressing a doting kiss to her forehead.

Pidge’s face flushed, pleased and embarrassed all at the same time, her worries dissolving as easily as sugar in hot tea. “So?” she said, trying to show him how unaffected she was. “I love you too, so it’s not that special.”

“But you are, Pidge,” Lance said. He buried his face in her hair. “You’re special, and smart, and confident, and we wouldn’t be able to function without you. And anytime you’re faced with a challenge, it bows down to you, its queen - wait, no, it’s empress.”

Pidge laughed and rubbed her face. “Oh my God, Lance,” she said. “That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“But it’s true,” Lance insisted. “And I know for a fact you love being praised.”

“Well…”

Lance let go of her and moved away, and Pidge missed him instantly…at least until he knelt on the floor next to her, putting him at below eye level in relation to her. He cupped her face, gently, and made sure she met his eyes. “You’re amazing, Pidge, and when you crack this code, we’ll all sing your praises.”

Pidge rested her forehead against his, reaching behind him to bury her hands in his hair. “But especially you, right?”

He smirked. “I’ll be the loudest one.”

Lance then kissed her, so softly it wasn’t much more than a warm brush of lips, and he pulled back before her eyes even closed. “Also,” he added, with a slow, sly smile, “it wouldn’t hurt to take a break, right?”

Hardest story to write?

This borderline crack fic that had a shippy premise but the prompter challenged me to write gen for it. i succeeded (i think), but was it worth it?? probably

Easiest/most fun story to write?

They’re all fun to a certain degree, but this The Wizard of Oz AU was great fun once I hit my stride. also honorable mention to ‘Smuggle Your Heart’, of which i wrote about 17k words in one day in a hyperfocusing haze (i didn’t sleep till 3 AM that day and i would’ve skipped dinner if my parents hadn’t reminded me).

(i haven’t had a day so productive yet inefficient since)

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I actually....disliked Lance until i started shipping plance, and then my love for him only grew the more i wrote him lol. even season 1 Lance can be fun to write now, if only because he’s so ridiculous

Most overdue story?

hmm, perhaps something like ‘Failure to Launch’ because there’s a lot to explore in the adultier adults important to Team Voltron, particularly what Sam - the dad - might feel about his pretty young children getting sucked into a fight like this. but *shrugs*

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

not really?? i...kinda played it safe?? perhaps ‘Ink on a Page’ is my riskiest venture to date because it’s a long fic and i have a poor track record with long fic that i start posting before finishing. hopefully i’m learning discipline and like actually finishing things

also i think ‘Specter’ was pretty risky, as would be writing anything i really have very little experience in feeling, plus people tend to feel very strongly about major character deaths and i was unsure how people (particularly people i interact with) would receive it. and i guess i learned that it’s okay to take risks?? i was pleased with the way the fic turned out (even if it broke my heart to write it), and it was sorta begging me to be written (you know that itch you get when a story wants out??). and ultimately i’m writing for myself...but it’s still nice when other people like your writing too

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Finish ‘Ink on a Page’

Finish and post my definitely unconventional The Holiday AU that’s currently languishing as a Word doc of about 20k words

Write something amazing for the plance zine

Expand/write my sailor AU (of which ‘Siren Song’ is the prelude)

Write a slow burn plance fic (to be fair, The Holiday AU and the sailor AU are looking to be slow burn, of sorts)

Maybe...not write so much by the seat of my pants, be less impulsive and more thoughtful, outline more but remain flexible, be more efficient so i don’t burnout, push myself to write even when i’m not feeling ‘inspired’

Not compare myself to other writers (sad but true)

write for a different fandom/pairing?? who even knows at this point