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kanansdume · 2 years

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After reading this post by @ahsoka-in-a-hood, it occurred me to that this is exactly why I really don't like the way Obi-Wan's history with Satine is written.

Because it's not about Obi-Wan.

Obitine as a SHIP isn't about Obi-Wan.

It's about Anakin.

I've been looking at the moment where Obi-Wan confesses that he would have left the Jedi Order had Satine said the word as a take on a crisis of faith storyline for Obi-Wan, similar to ones seen in the Melida/Daan arc in Jedi Apprentice and, most recently, the Padawan book and Obi-Wan Kenobi show. And in that case, it fails. Entirely.

Because in order for it to be a good crisis of faith storyline, to me, it needs to have a moment where Obi-Wan actively chooses to remain a Jedi, where he recognizes he's on the wrong path and comes back. He can leave for a time, he can stray, he can question, that's the whole point. But it has to be Obi-Wan's choice to come back to the Jedi because he recognizes that it's the right path for him, that it's the path he WANTS to take.

And the line "I would have left the Jedi Order, if you had said the word" removes all choice from Obi-Wan. Because what's left unsaid here is, "I only stayed in the Jedi Order because you DIDN'T say the word." Which puts all of the power of choice onto Satine, not Obi-Wan. And we don't even hear why Satine didn't ask him to stay, whether it's because she just didn't realize he liked her enough to stay or because she recognized they would never truly work out even if he did stay for her. Obi-Wan nearly leaving the Jedi Order for Satine has no real impact on Obi-Wan's character because the reason as to why he DIDN'T is so passive. He's not acting, he's REACTING.

But it was never about Obi-Wan. It was about Anakin.

Obi-Wan's ENTIRE relationship with Satine and, arguably, Satine's entire character, is about being a metaphor/foil for Anakin (and Padme/Anidala). That's it.

Obi-Wan and Satine have a history where they went through a traumatic experience together where Obi-Wan was helping Satine escape a war on her planet that she was the ruler of, this war has a major impact on Satine's ideologies as we see them in the present day, Obi-Wan and Satine barely seem to truly agree on much of anything, their disagreements cause them to react unprofessionally in public. There's a lot of similarities in the dynamic set up between Obi-Wan and Satine, and Anakin and Padme.

Because Obitine is just a way to use Obi-Wan to showcase what Anakin (and Padme) should've done. Obi-Wan and Satine walk away because they both recognize this relationship is never going to truly work. They don't agree on much of anything, but both of them know that because they confront each other about things the other says or does they disagree with rather than brushing it under the rug and pretending it didn't happen. Obi-Wan and Satine allow duty to come first, but also appear to recognize that even if one of them gave up duty, the relationship would be doomed. They care about each other because they have a bond from spending a year on the run together, but this does not make them GOOD for each other and they're both smart and honest enough to recognize that and so, even after Satine pressures Obi-Wan into making a confession of love to her, neither of them acts on it.

And then, of course, in The Lawless, we see Obi-Wan facing Satine in a lot of danger and is unable to do very much to help her because of restrictions placed on him via the Senate and the Council, so he chooses to BEND some rules in order to allow him to give what help he can without bringing untold harm to everyone around him, and when he fails, he refuses to let it sink him into darkness. He makes a whole speech about it that's particularly on the nose, obviously, and it's pretty pointed towards "This is what Anakin should've done and didn't."

This is why Obitine just doesn't appeal to me, because it's not really about Satine or Obi-Wan at all. Satine is a prop, a Padme knock-off, intentionally. She's just there to show what Padme should've done, but also to be a catalyst to showcase through Obi-Wan what Anakin should've done. Obi-Wan's allowed zero real agency in this relationship because his "choice" to stay with the Jedi isn't there to actually say anything about Obi-Wan or further our understanding of him as a character, but simply for the audience to go "ah yes, the opposite of Anakin." Made even more heavy-handed by Anakin coming in 2 seconds later and killing someone to the tune of the Imperial March because the show decided to conveniently forget Jedi have telekinesis in favor of reminding everyone that Anakin's going to go dark side soon.

It's not a crisis of faith storyline, it's not an Obi-Wan backstory even. It's just a metaphor for Anakin and Padme.

#obi-wan kenobi #satine kryze #obitine #anti obitine #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anti anidala #i like obi-wan storylines that remember to be about obi-wan #i hate obi-wan storylines that are just pretending to be about obi-wan and are in fact actually about someone else #usually anakin #lux and ahsoka are the same thing and i didn't care for them either #obi-wan

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gch1995 · 2 years

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Okay so rereading ROTS novelization and something rubs me wrong. Yoda and Obi Wan are talking about what to do with the twins and instantly Kenobi starts talking about TRAINING them in the ways of the Force. Yoda even says when the time is right they will be brought to them for training. How did they even know the twins would be force sensitive? Yoda said the Force runs strong in the Skywalker line but how does he know? Shmi wasn’t Force sensitive and neither was Padme so how can they just assume? And the BALLS they both had to just decide for the twins that they would be Jedi. I’m sorry I don’t think you two are exactly the best to decide the fate of children. At this point I see why uncle Owen didn’t want Kenobi around Luke. He was itching to train this kid from birth! Talking about how Luke would be trained how Anakin SHOULD have been… sir you can’t teach. Even when Bail offers to take Leia, Yoda and Kenobi exchange a LOOK, as if they are wary about letting go one of the twins. Also, the straight DISRESPECT Kenobi showed to Anakin when he took Luke to Tatooine knowing that was were Anakin first experienced slavery and the death of his mom. His excuse? “Anakin survived it. Luke can too.” Direct quote. So essentially Luke is like Yoda and Kenobi’s controlled experiment with almost the same situations thinking they’ll get a different outcome. I don’t know it just all rubs me wrong.

It depends on how much of the RotS novelization you actually consider canon, but, yeah, Obi-Wan is a grossly overrated character by most of this fandom.

No, he was never an outright evil conquerer like the gray Jedi believed in Legends from Empire/Sith propaganda, but he was never a particularly idealistic, kind, good, open-minded, or selfless type of character who made a truly heroic person. That’s why, as awful and dark as Anakin Skywalker became, his story is a tragedy, because, at his best, he displayed all the same qualities that Luke did in the OT movies to be that kind, progressive, revolutionary, selfless, and self-sacrificing hero for the Jedi Order and the galaxy at large, if his life hadn’t constantly been a living hell of abuse, neglect, and oppression under corrupt authority and he hadn’t become too afraid to say no and do better after awhile.

Yoda looked upon Obi-Wan Kenobi as the ideal Jedi of the of the old Order because he was a teacher’s pet who repeatedly made a conscious effort to not have any aspirations, ideals, interests, relationships, or personal values, life outside of kissing his ass to fit in and get ahead to be on the Council, even if that meant repeatedly screwing over his own integrity and those he cared about to do it.

It’s both a blessing and curse for him to be that way. On the one hand, he can never be vulnerable to the dark side because he’s learned to be so content with being a perfect Jedi™️ at all costs. On the other hand, because Obi-Wan is so content and dedicated to being that way, he can never reach the same level of true heroism that other characters like his master Qui Gonn met at his best, Anakin met at his best, Ahsoka at her best, Luke met at his best, or Ezra met at his best because his sense of motivation comes primarily from the Jedi Council and Yoda with his desire to fit in and get ahead with them generally outweighing his desire to be good by listening to his own instincts and conscience. For someone to accomplish truly heroic deeds with a truly heroic motivation, they can’t just be doing good things because someone else with power of authority over them tells them it’s right, tells them it’s for a reward, or tells them it’s the only way to fit in.

Obi-Wan can’t reach that level of true heroism that those other characters he met could at their best as a person himself because he generally was all about Yoda’s and the Council’s validation, and he never really put in much effort to be anything better than that. He never had a great enough desire to become anything better than what he had been taught to be by Yoda and the Council for as long as he could remember. He never had a great enough interest to understand the galaxy outside of Yoda’s temple.

It’s not all his fault he grew up to be that way because he was a victim of Yoda’s cult of total emotional/individual denial for life, but he also consistently made a conscious effort to not be like the sort of curious, kind, open-minded, and spontaneously good people he had met throughout his life more than once because they were free thinkers and idealists, who he secretly admired, but also saw didn’t get ahead with Yoda.

You’re right, though, nonny. Obi-Wan and Yoda really didn’t have the right to be planning out Luke’s and Leia’s fates before they even reached their first birthday. To plan on using them as weapons to destroy the monster of a man they inadvertently helped turn their father into before they were even born is also just cowardly of them. The worst part is that they never express any sort of remorse or self-awareness of just how wrong it was to attempt to deceive and manipulate the Skywalker twins to kill off the monster they helped turn his dad. The only one of Luke’s predecessors who gets the importance of taking personal responsibility for bad decisions by the end of the OT movies, rather than letting Luke pay for his sins, or trying to manipulate him for their own ends, is Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan and Yoda never seem to get that it wasn’t okay to use the Skywalker twins as weapons to clean up the mess they inadvertently helped create with their father, but they still get the force ghost treatment, in spite of seemingly learning nothing from their pasts, because they are Jedi.

#star wars anon #anti obi wan kenobi #anti yoda #pt jedi critical #obi wan could never be truly heroic #he was too much of a Yoda kiss ass #obi-wan is the living definition of someone who fails as a hero because they try too hard to be a hero according to the rules of authority

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sirikenobi12 · 3 years

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War & the Jedi

This will be a long meta rant, FYI.

The Jedi Order, specifically the Prequel era Jedi Order, gets a lot of hate these days particularly regarding their involvement in the Clone Wars. Accusations are tossed at their feet constantly ranging from corruption all the way up to warmongering.

Let’s first look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition of these two accusations, shall we?

Corruption - having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

Warmonger - a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups.

The definitions of these two words are so very misunderstood when it comes to relation to the Jedi. If the Jedi are truly “corrupt” then where are the examples of their dishonesty for wealth or personal gain? In fact, I’d argue that canon (and Legends) makes a point to show us that it is the Sith who are in it for personal gain, not the Jedi. The Jedi have absolutely NOTHING to gain from this war on a personal level, in fact they are losing members in terrifying numbers.

The Jedi are also not advocating aggression towards the Separatists, in fact what we see instead is the Jedi DEFENDING against the Separatists. I have yet to see in either canon or legends an instance where the Republic forces invade a Separatist planet who doesn’t have an army or some military involvement (i.e. weapon factories). However, time after time we see the Separatists forcing peaceful planets who want nothing to do with them to either bow to their cause or die (i.e. Ryloth, Lurmen planet, Kiros, Mandalore) the Jedi and Republic Troops will then follow the Separatists to these planets, but they try to do what they can to liberate the planet from the Separaist invasion and then they give the planet the OPTION to join the Republic for safety and economic reasons, but they never force them, as is super evident with Mandalore.

Yet people don’t seem to see this and continue to drag the Jedi through the mud.

Here are the top 5 other “woke” takes I hear -

Jedi are peacekeepers and should not have gotten involved:

First things first, let’s look at the definition of Peacekeeper - a soldier, military force, etc., deployed to maintain or restore peace.

I’d argue by that definition the Jedi were still peacekeepers, it’s true that they weren’t a 3rd party as they normally were before the war, but their position was trying to maintain or restore peace. Peacekeeper is not the same thing as a Pacifist, the Jedi were skilled warriors (training from childhood to wield a lightsaber), the difference is Jedi used their skills for defense not attack which is what we constantly saw throughout the Clone Wars.

With regards to the idea that Jedi “should not have gotten involved” I ask you then what exactly were they supposed to do instead?

We see at the beginning of Attack of the Clones that the Jedi are worried things will escalate to war, they have obviously gone to the Chancellor hoping that a diplomatic solution can be presented to avoid bloodshed. Or if that isn’t possible then that the Republic have some way to defend themselves other than relying solely on the Jedi (i.e. an army). The Separatists are the ones pushing them to a breaking point, were the Jedi just supposed to stand back and let innocent people be invaded/killed because they didn’t want to get involved? The Jedi were “Guardians of Peace and Justice” which means it was their duty to help bring about peace in the galaxy while also enacting justice.

Then after Geonosis (where they lost approx. 187 members mind you) they learned that the Sith are leading the Separatist army - the Jedi are duty bound by their code to fight the Sith, they had no choice but to join the war.

So, I ask again...what were they supposed to do instead?

2. Jedi used a slave army for their own purposes:

Okay, I can (and probably will) write a whole argument based on just this accusation alone. There are so many fallacies I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll try.

I guess my first question is the same as #1, what were the Jedi supposed to do instead with regards to the Clones?

Technically speaking the Clones didn’t “belong” to the Jedi, they were “property” of the Republic (as stated by Lama Su in Attack of the Clones). In fact, the Jedi Council not only didn’t know about the order, they had vehemently denied Syfo Dias’ earlier request to raise an army in the first place. The Sith KNEW the Jedi would be against it, this was all part of their plan to trap the Jedi (as was EVERYTHING about the war) - they clouded the Force, they literally deleted Kamino from the Archives so the Jedi wouldn’t discover it until the Sith WANTED them to (i.e. Jango just happened to use a Kamino dart?? Come on people). Yoda even states “blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see” he fully admits they missed it because the Dark Side was clouding their vision.

Regardless, the army was created, there was no changing that fact. Had the Jedi not taken command of the army do you think the Clones wouldn’t have had to go to war? Do you actually believe that the Republic who couldn’t get their citizens to give 2 craps about the war would’ve taken up the mantle and fought instead? Do you think if the Jedi were like “thanks, but we didn’t order this” that the Kamioans would’ve just let the Clones go free?

The answer you’re looking for is...no.

So, like absolutely everything about the Clone Wars the Jedi did the best they could with the cards they had been dealt. They chose to lead the army on the front lines, putting themselves in just as much mortal danger as the men they were leading. They even sent a member of the Jedi Council to oversee the creation of future clones/training to ensure they were being treated humanely (something the Kamioans thought was ridiculous). They were the first to tell the clones that they were individuals, they constantly put themselves in front of their men to protect them (i.e. season 7 Obi-Wan deflecting the rocket from blowing up his men). The Jedi did what they could, just because we didn’t see on screen Jedi stopping to grieve every time a clone died did not mean that they didn’t care - real life Generals can’t stop in the middle of a battle to grieve over their fallen soldiers either, so why is it we consider it a moral crime if the Jedi don’t?

Another thing I’ll add is once the Jedi had evidence that the Clones were actually ordered by Dooku, did they immediately stop and say “oh hell no, these flesh droids can’t be trusted, we should just have them decommissioned”?? NO! They defended the Clones, stating that they were good men and should be trusted (and look where that trust got them in the end).

The Jedi were forced/coerced to fight this war as much as the Clones were!! Why are we willing to forgive the Clones, but not the Jedi???

3. Ki-Adi-Mundi killing Geonosians was the same as Anakin’s slaughter at the Tusken camp:

This is another moment where context is everything because there is a HUGE difference between Ki-Adi-Mundi on Geonosis and Anakin in the Tusken camp. The fact that I have to even spell it out makes me wonder how people can even dress themselves in the morning.

The Geonosians were an opposing military force, attacking Ki-Adi and his troops. Anakin slaughtered unarmed women and children out of vengeance.

Now, had Ki-Adi turned to his men and screamed “to the catacombs!” brandishing his lightsaber with a murderous glint in his eyes and proceeded to cut down the unarmed bugs below the battle then you’d have an accurate comparison on your hands and I’d be appalled right there with you.

But, as it stands this is not the same thing...not even close.

4. The Jedi sent children to war:

So, this is a tougher one and I can even understand the concerns behind it, and I even share some of those concerns. The thing I will say to this is, given what we see throughout Star Wars, what constitutes a “child” seems to be different than our own real world definition.

Padme, for example, was 14 when she was elected Queen, and she wasn’t even the youngest ever elected. She (and her handmaids) were trained as children to defend themselves and their people both politically and in battle (much like Jedi), but you don’t hear people condemning the people/traditions of Naboo the way we see the Jedi being condemned for theirs.

Jedi children arguably mature faster than your standard person, and with regards to Star Wars there are also species’ age ranges to keep in mind. Grogu for example is still a baby at age 50, could it be possible that Ahsoka at age 14 is on the same maturity level as a human in their early twenties due to her Togruta DNA?? We don’t know, it’s never stated other than Anakin saying something about because of her advanced skills he forgets how young she is.

Obviously Boba Fett is treated like an adult by other Bounty Hunters - no one even questions when he picks up a job and is placed in charge of a group at age 12 or 13 (and he is placed in an adult prison without anyone questioning it). It could be that by law according to Star Wars that 13 is actually considered an adult. Throughout history (and in many different cultures) 13 was when people were considered to be “coming of age”, So, once again we’re placing our cultural biases onto a fictional space fantasy world without realizing it might not even be an issue in that world.

But even beyond all of that I ask you again - what else should the Jedi have done?

Their young Padawans would eventually have to grow into Jedi Knights, even before the war by the time they are teenagers they usually followed their Masters on missions (often very dangerous missions) in order to get real world experience. At the time of the Clone Wars the real world they were living in was one at war. If they hadn’t brought their Padawans onto the battlefield how else would they have learned how to strategize, or how to cope with the emotions of battle? They would’ve been ill prepared if the war had continued on for years and years as it had looked like it was going to do...once again, the Jedi had no real choice in this.

5. The Jedi lost their way because of the war:

Did they though?? I’d argue they actually didn’t. We first have to ask ourselves what is a Jedi - well, according to the very first time we hear any type of a description about a Jedi they are introduced as the “Guardians of Peace and Justice for the Republic” I don’t see how the war took that away from them.

The Oxford definition of Guardian is a defender, protector, or keeper. I fail to see how the Jedi stopped being any of these things because of the war.

Here’s the bottom line, the Jedi’s biggest mistake was that they fell for a plot 1,000 years in the making. The Sith spent over a millenia perfecting/hatching this plan, there was nothing the Jedi could’ve done to prevent the war by the time the trap was sprung. As always, I’m not saying the Jedi were perfect (I hate that I have to always specify that when I argue that the Jedi were good), all I’m saying is they tried to do the most good that they could with the situation they fell into - few groups/characters can claim the same thing.

Everyone seems to forget that the Sith controlled BOTH SIDES to that war, there was nothing - absolutely NOTHING the Jedi could’ve done that would’ve changed or won that war. So, instead they saved as many innocent lives as they could and to me, that’s very Jedi.

#star wars #jedi #Clone Wars #jedi appreciation #jedi positivity #jedi positive #pro jedi #stop blaming the jedi #meta #rant post #war #The Clone Wars #attack of the clones #jedi culture #jedi council appreciation #jedi did not deserve genocide

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teletraan-meets-jarvis · 3 years

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What I Want - Part 2

AO3 Link

Chapter Title: What I Need

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!Jedi Reader

Summary: Following the awkwardness of the night before, you go to an old friend to try and process your feelings for Crosshair.

Click here for Part 1

Warnings: 18+, a bit more frisky business but not full on so rated 18 just to be safe. Swearing.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Notes: You ask, you get!! Thanks so much for all the support and love for part 1 ❤️. As a thank you, I bring you part 2, I hope you enjoy! If this one takes off a bit as well, I do have an idea for a little bonus chapter around the Bad Batches' reaction. As always, feedback/comments are massively appreciated along with reblogs. Fic is below the cut off, thanks for reading!!

Taglist: @aerynwrites @shannon-lynn-21 @saltywintersoldat @tired-night-owl @wille-zarr

A comm alarm beeped softly, slowly pulling you out your slumber. Giving the device a sleepy glare, you shut it off and huffed back onto your bunk. Wrecker’s snores were echoing off the small ship barracks, you rolled your eyes at his sleeping form across the room as you swung your legs over the side of your top bunk. Below you, Tech slept soundly, he managed to fall asleep with his goggles on which were now sitting wonky on his relaxed face. He also had a datapad clutched to his chest, almost like a teddy bear, which made you chuckle to yourself.

You’d barely slept after getting back from the mission but being a General stopping over on Coruscant meant rest would be a pipe dream. Your alarm was set to get you out of bed and ready for the first of what you were sure would be a hundred and ten briefings today. You were always happy to shoulder the politics for the team, removing that burden from Hunter so they could keep to themselves. But today, you could really do without it.

You looked over at Hunter and Crosshair’s bunks, the former sleeping up top with an arm over his eyes. Probably to block out the few small coloured lights on the ship that shone from critical systems, preventing the room from being truly pitch black. You didn’t envy Hunter’s enhanced senses, they seemed to cause him quite a bit of discomfort when they weren’t on missions. You should probably pick him up an eye mask one of these days.

Below him, Crosshair slept with his back to the open room. One of the few times you ever saw his body relaxed was when he slept. You cringed as you remembered yesterday’s awkwardness with the sniper and mentally cursed at yourself for causing, what was, an easily avoidable situation.

Shaking your head you jumped silently off of your bunk, mindful to not wake any of the batch. You gently removed Tech’s goggles, placing them in their usual spot before moving over to grab some fresh robes and head for the fresher. Today was going to be a real drag.

—————————————————

“Hey! Look what the Lothcat dragged in” someone called after you as you trudged up the steps to the GAR Headquarters. You turned around to see none other than Anakin Skywalker jogging up behind you.

“Nice to see you too Skyguy” he chuckled at the nickname as he threw an arm around your shoulders.

You fell into companionable chatter as you made your way to your first meeting, the dark halls of the military headquarters looking indistinguishable as you attempted to find the correct room. Members of the Coruscant Guard patrolled the halls, nodding politely to you both as you strolled past.

Eventually you found the room where Mace, Plo and Luminara were waiting, along with some clone and human high command. You stood outside the door for a moment, readying yourself to seal your fate of being talked at for a solid eight standard hours.

Eventually you caved, mostly as you were on the verge of being late if you debated standing outside any longer. Begrudgingly, you sat through briefing after briefing. All the voices and different rooms blending into one grey blur as you tried to take in what information you could, but your tired and stressed mind was having none of it.

While it was nice to catch up with some of the other Jedi, you always felt a bit out of place among the perfect members of the council. More so now than ever.

You ended up wandering back to the temple with Anakin where you both retired to his room and you flopped down onto his simple bed with a whine.

“Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been off all day” Anakin was the closest thing you had to a brother, you trained as Padawans together and due to your similar age you became fast friends. You knew about his marriage to Padme and decided that if you could offload your dilemma on anyone, it’d be him.

“I fucked up” you groaned out from behind your hands.

“What’d you do?” Anakin replied in a playful tone.

“I might’ve got a bit hot and heavy with one of the clones in my squad, led him on and then cut it off” Anakin raised an eyebrow at your confession. “And now he’s pissed at me”

“Why?” You weren’t entirely sure which part of that entire thing he was questioning.

“Because I started the whole thing, I wanted it. Then all of a sudden I did that whole guilty Jedi, must follow every word of the order thing, gave him some pathetic look which said really sorry I can’t have attachments mate, hope you understand. He called me out on it before I could even utter the banthashit excuse and then he stomped off and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“In his defence, seems like he was probably wound a little tight” Anakin replied with a chuckle which you just groaned at.

“He has every right to be pissed. Hells, I would be if the roles were reversed. Whats with this whole self-righteous act us Jedi have going on?”

“Look, it’s hard being a Jedi at the best of times. It takes an inhumane amount of self-control, which is why its not a path for the weak. But being a Jedi while at war… it’s a lot. You’re emotions are running high, you’re forming bonds with soldiers on the battlefield that you shouldn’t be, but none of us can help it because it’s uncharted territory. Maker knows I’d hunt down anyone who hurt Obi-Wan or my Captain. Yes, It’s not the Jedi way, but neither is fighting a grand-scale war.” Anakin’s eyes were alive with emotion as he spoke, be he quickly caught himself and then it was gone.

“My point is, don’t beat yourself up so much. No one is getting kicked out the order or in his case reconditioned if that’s what you’re worried about. Figure out what it is you want, and then just be discreet about it” you looked at Anakin like he’d grown two heads, he just winked at your confused stare.

“Okay let’s keep it simple. Are you attracted to him?” You thought back to the night before and firmly nodded in response.

“Do you like him as a person?” You pondered his question.

“Well, it’s Cross. I wasn’t sure if he even liked me for a long time. He’s closed off, anti-social, but he’s also a good guy, cares about his brothers, has saved my ass multiple times, and he is kinda funny in his own, snide way” you rattled off with fondness in your words.

“Well then I suggest you go and talk to him.” Anakin replied, giving you a knowing look when he spotted the small smile on your lips as you spoke about the sniper.

You took a deep breath, glad to have finally gotten that off your chest and feeling content that you now knew what to do next. “Thanks, Ani”

“Ugh please don’t call me that” he moaned back, apparently only Padme was allowed to get away with that one.

————————————————

Your walk back to the Marauder felt like it dragged on and on. Your brain ran over a thousand scenarios of what to say, how he’d react and you were about to short circuit. There was so much risk, so much possibility, that you did your best to shut your mind off and let yourself handle it in the moment. These things never went as planned anyway, it was best not to guess.

The large door to the ship hissed open, your boots clanking on the metal surface as you cautiously walked into your home. It didn’t take you long to find Crosshair, he was sat in the main hull methodically cleaning his hand blaster. Everyone else must’ve been asleep. He was just in his blacks, the material hugging him in the most wonderful way, it’s like whoever designed those things was trying to trip you up. The contours of his arm muscles flexing as he worked, his strong chest looked practically chiselled at the heart of his lean frame. You had to force yourself to calm down a little bit.

“Uh, hey” you greeted awkwardly. “Mind if I join you?”

You took his silence as a well he’s not saying no. He didn’t spare you a glance as you walked in and took a seat opposite him. As a General in the GAR, you rarely got nervous. War, as a concept, was simple. You knew your purpose, your objective, you had a job to get done and you’d do it. The risks never stopped you, rather they fuelled you. Probably why you’re such a good fit for the bad batch.

But this right now, personal feelings, not knowing where you stand with someone you care about. Because if you were honest, you really did care about Crosshair, the same as you did the rest of the team. You’d only been with the squad just under a year but you’d gladly lay down your life for any of them in a heartbeat. If you could at least get back to where you were before the other night, you’d be over the moon.

You weren’t used to being so nervous, you let your hands fiddle with you dark Jedi robes as you readied yourself to speak again.

“Look, I’m not here to throw some crap about being a Jedi at you, I promise. And I’m sorry for trying it before” he still didn’t look at you, finding his blaster much more interesting. But you could tell he was listening, you had his attention. Might as well keep babbling.

“In terms of an explanation for what happened yesterday, well I guess I panicked.” You sighed as you tried to find the next words “The way you made me feel that night, I… I’ve never felt like that before and everything i’d been taught over the years screamed at me that what I was doing was dangerous and wrong. I now realise that I’m just an idiot. I make my own decisions and I… uh -well, I stick by that one, starting something that is.” Still nothing.

“I know this is probably a long shot. But in the interest of being transparent” you rambled “uh… if you want to go down that road again, I’m up for seeing what happens, can be as casual as we like. I promise I won’t freak out on you again.” You chuckled and thought you almost spotted a slight pull in the corner of Crosshair’s lips “But if you want to go back to how we were before, I’d also really like that.” You watched him for a while as he gave no acknowledgement of your words, his cleaning finished as he now gave the weapon a once over in his hands. Having said everything you needed, you got up from your seat, looking away from him.

“Well, if I can do anything else, let me know” you turned on your heel to leave, feeling slightly defeated but glad you’d at least made the first step.

“I could think of a few things” he finally spoke as he leaned back into his seat and continued to stare at his blaster, still not meeting your gaze.

Well that caught your attention, you turned back around to face him as he carried on ignoring you. While his tone was unbothered as he spoke, you knew him just enough to know his words held a meaning. He was playing with you, back to his usual teasing and you could’ve laughed at the relief that washed over you. This you could work with. A cheeky idea popped into your head and you’d decided to run with it.

“Oh really?” Throwing caution to the wind, you strode over to the sniper slowly. His gaze finally meeting yours after all this time, watching you as you got closer and closer. Practically drawing you in with his amber eyes. You pushed him back by his chest, creating enough room so you could straddle his lap. “Care to elaborate?”

He huffed out a short laugh at your words, his face overall unbothered but his eyes, they were burning into you. “You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you’ll figure it out”.

You hummed in response, deciding to kick things up a notch you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing your faces just breaths apart. “Something like this?” You asked, pausing for another second before bringing your lips to his in a surprisingly soft and gentle kiss. You felt his hands come up to rest on your back, pulling you closer as you continued your slow dance. This was so different from the other night, where before there was desperation and lust, now there was something more… tender, passionate. You were quite glad you weren’t standing as the way he moved against you would’ve definitely made your knees weak.

Dragging yourself away from his lips, you searched his face. His mouth pulled into a barely there smirk “That’s a start.”

“Who said I was finished?” And just like that, the last few strands of tension between you both snapped and you relaxed in his arms. You fisted your hands into the front of his blacks and pulled him back to you, his tongue slipped between your lips, curious and demanding. He was everywhere again, filling your nose with the scent of the standard cheap GAR soap but mixed with something earthy, something so distinctly Crosshair and you couldn’t get enough.

You could tell why the Jedi order frowned upon such activities, kissing Crosshair was intoxicating. You couldn’t think of anything else other than the handsome clone in front of you and just how much you wanted him in that moment.

His hands wandered lower and lower down you back until they rested comfortably on your backside, pulling you further up his lap. Feeling mischievous, you started trailing kisses along his jaw. Setting a teasing, languid pace as you mapped out the spots that made him squirm. Crosshair was never a man of many words, so you made it your mission to see just how vocal you could make him.

As your lips met his pulse point, he gave a loud exhale and you smirked in victory against his skin as you continued the onslaught on his senses. You definitely seemed to be doing something right as his hands found themselves in your hair, clutching slightly and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped you. Even while trying to gain the upper hand in the situation, he always had some control over you. It was maddening in the best way, setting your veins alight with desire.

Determined to get another victory you traced your tongue against the base of the side of his neck and trailed it all the way up to the bottom of his ear, which you teasingly took into your mouth, teeth grazing the soft skin. A strangled moan escaped the clone and that was the moment where you knew you were hopelessly and utterly gone. Your mind filled with nothing other than wanting to be closer to Crosshair.

“Not very Jedi of you” he commented, slightly breathless when you finally stopped teasing him and came back up to meet his eyes. Looking down at where your bodies were pressed against one another, you chuckled.

“What exactly about this situation led you to believe I was ever a model Jedi?” You smirked, though it was only visible for a second before his mouth was back on yours, devouring you as his hands greedily roamed your body.

You continued making out like teenagers for most of the evening, taking the time to explore each other, enjoying the closeness. Contentment settled over your body, almost as if this was were you were meant to be. If Crosshair’s arms were where you belonged, well, you could think of worse places to be.

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ignobleknight2 · 3 years

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notes on my Anakin; a chaotic smattering of things

Anakin is very possessive of the people he loves, but he is capable of letting go. Not on his own, of course. He will fight and hold on as long as he can, but at the end of the day, if someone wants to leave him, he will let them go. Forcing someone to stay with him would be a terrible crime.

He will push up to a point, but he is not criminally possessive without being pushed to it... By this I only mean to say, what happened in ROTS was an extreme situation and he was pressed and prodded until he was finally pushed off the deep end. It's not fair to compare Anakin pushed beyond his limits into full on psychosis, with his usual traits.

Anakin is a deeply traumatized person. He began his life as a slave. His mother was a slave. His sense of stability didn't truly exist, as he knew from a painfully young age that they could be separated and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Whether it was being sold off or kidnapped by pirates, they had no control over what might happen to them. He was not allowed to be a real person, except he knew he was anyway. He learned how to hide his pain, how to be deferential to others. He learned that he had to be strong or perish. that he had to fight for anything he needed and that he had to be cunning and secretive if he wanted to have anything for himself. He learned to carry burdens in silence, and to adapt. But he did not learn how to deal with his emotions. He did not learn what it means to be a kid, to be care free, or to feel safe.

The two things to know about Tatooine: 1. You can buy anything on Tatooine, as long as you can pay. 2. Everything that comes from Tatooine is broken. The "logic" he has built is one made by a nine year old by, enslaved on a desolate desert plant, forgotten by the republic, with only his mother to guide, comfort, and teach him... His poor mother... ... (I will write it later. not now. you can imagine his poor mother...) He knew he could not put all of the burden on her, so he grew up as fast as possible. He also literally grew pretty quickly and was skillful from an early age. He is, unforgettably, conceived by the force itself (no, it wasn't Palpy, but it was his fault. pin in that.) He is adaptable, mindful, intuitive, and deeply compassionate. Anakin. As a child. Is practically the perfect Jedi already. Not literally perfect, he hides his pain well (like a bird. okay. he has the heart of a little dove.) He is very good.

The relationship with Obi-Wan is COMPLICATED

Anakin without the Jedi Order could have turned out much better. I have a hard time calling this headcanon because it's. Evident. But the Order is what ultimately causes Anakin's downfall, and their own by proxy. Had he been able to step into his own power. Had he been able to use his inner compass. Had he not been taught to mistrust his own judgement and stifle his emotions, he could have turned out very well. I am not saying he "would have" there are a lot of factors, but I have some AUs for this.

Never underestimate how deep the river of denial goes for Ani.

It's obviously unfair to compare 19yo virginal Anakin's attempts at flirting, to 21yo Anakin, who has been comfortably sexing his wife and leading an army for the past two years. Night and Day. That scene where he is whispering in the ear of the Zygerrian Queen? Yeah... We can only imagine what filth... He is into dirty talk and has lots of practice with it now, but he is a romantic at heart. He is a grand gestures, waxing poetic, the moment needs to be right, kind of guy. On the topic of Zygerrians; one of the things I did like in TCW was his visceral reaction to seeing one

I want to revisit that arc. Because I feel the rating didn't allow proper exploration. This was also when I HC Anakin was S/A for the first time so yay...

Anakin has rarely felt special. Mostly he has felt singled out. His mother and Padme made him feel special and good. ... unfortunately, so does Palpatine. Their relationship is a whole thing...

Anakin is very much in his own head for a majority of the time. His emotions are a force of their own. His mind never stops going, and he is also always dealing with a constant radio static of other people's thoughts and emotions when they are projecting too loud. He zeros in on outside things to keep him grounded; such as working on machines. Tactile sensation and keeping his mind occupied on tasks, is what he knows. Reaching out and opening up to others emotionally... that is difficult. He has his safe people... unfortunately, they are Padme and Palpatine. Obi-Wan has marked himself as generally unsafe through the years of being dismissive or trying to subdue Anakin's emotional output. Obi-Wan is someone he may try to reach for, but Obi-Wan has to come to him first. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan is in the habit of leaving Anakin too quickly, and Anakin does not feel he can reach further to pursue him back.

Anakin feels most at home among the stars. In the cockpit of a ship, especially a small vessel, out in the vastness of space, is where he feels truly at home.

Anakin is a creature comprised of raw emotion. His connection to the force makes him a conduit for all sorts of energetic transfer, whish mostly manifests emotionally. When he feels, he feels it with his entire being. There is no filter for him. No buffer between his heart and the howling storm, and so he has learned to disconnect. He has learned to shut off parts of himself, of his perception, by becoming totally blind to it. He has wrapped himself in a shroud of delusions that keep him safe. A set of rules, if you will, and an understanding that he is not allowed to care too much about others, as he once did. Distance is the only thing that keeps him safe. Keeping his emotions to himself, as much as possible, and certainly keeping his thoughts, history, and trauma very close to his chest. If he doesn't say it out loud, if he doesn't acknowledge it, he can shift his focus and ignore it. If he can pretend well enough, for long enough, he thinks it will go away. It wont. His emotions simply build pressure until they finally explode.

In a way, he truly is a force of nature. The way his emotions hit him harder than they do for most. He is a livewire, a conduit for the living force. That is just his nature. He is a feral space wizard demi-god with much more restraint than anyone gives him credit for. You must understand how far he’s willing to take things...

Ani is... touch starved and affection starved. The Jedi are not exactly a warm bunch and Ani is an emotionally charged individual with a lot of needs. He has been chronically untouched for a long time... Being with Padme did some to alleviate this, but they weren't able to be together all that often. He is very receptive to touch, but also very sensitive to it.

The Jedi practice compassion in a broad spectrum way. On a personal level, they are generally detached and even callous at times.

Anakin was truly a perfect child (as close as you can get I mean honestly?) he was pure hearted and kind, but assertive of himself. He stood up for the weak and those who had less than he did, always sharing whatever he had to give. He was confident in himself, knew his own worth, and had so much pure and unfiltered love to just hand out... He already understood the value of loyalty and hard work, and even of self sacrifice, in doing what needs to be done because it makes life easier for the ones you love... then the Jedi fucked him up.

He is so good at heart... he could have been so much better if he'd been able to develop that all important self confidence... Then we have Anakin as the General- where he comes into his own. He realizes fairly early on that he is good at war. He is good at violence. He is good at playing well with the team. Together with his Captain and the 501st, he excels. He grows confident in his ability as a General and as a leader. He begins to defy the council more and more, although he always does it under the table and tries not to get caught whenever possible... He still hates to be called out and judged by them. He still hopes that they will recognize his accomplishments if he can just do enough for them... But no matter how many times the 501st leads the Republic to victory, only his troops and Palpatine ever seem to appreciate him

They spearhead an overwhelming number of campaigns. Anakin has also apparently arrested more people for the Jedi than anyone else? like half of their prisoners were caught by him. and they wont even tell him abt their secret prison...

The chaos of Ani's mind could be said to be rooted in this single notion of his own worth. "Unworthy," his inner demons scream, so Ani fights against them. Unworthy of love Unworthy to lead Unworthy of decency Unworthy of the Jedi Unworthy -

It almost always cycles back to this deep seeded idea that he is less than others. He takes on blame far too readily, yet he is often unable to resolve the real issue. His aggression rears its head to defend his fragility, but in doing so widens the rift... Ani needs to feel comfortable being vulnerable. The sad fact is that he has a hard time trusting others, especially in matters of the heart. He has been broken before and never really healed. He has put the pieces back together, but his heart is still broken. He will act as if he is feeling better than he is, because this pain is his own failing (somehow, unworthy as a result of having too much pain, for not being able to let it go.)

Not thinking is a skill Anakin picked up as an enslaved person, which was then encouraged by the Jedi (albeit in a roundabout way.) In order to rectify all that is so very wrong in his reality, yet cannot be fixed, Anakin has developed the ability to Not Think About it. This is a skill. He is too good at it and he uses it to avoid problems he doesn't know how to fix. He HATES to not be able to fix a problem. It burns him and twists his sense of helplessness into pain and fear, so rather than face that down, he turns away

Letting Anakin have some control and do what he wants is very important, but he does need some reigning in or he might just go off the deep end. He is not inherently flawed, as he believes, he is just deeply repressed. He has never been given total autonomy. The closest he gets is being a General, which is why it means so much to him to not only perform well, but to completely obliterate the competition. He can't just be "a good general" he needs to be "The Best." he so deeply craves recognition and respect and dammit, he deserves it.

You might think Anakin would have some road rage, but TBH, he is at his most calm when he is piloting. He might shout some expletives if someone tries to run into him- (Coruscant traffic is insane) but Obi-Wan has mostly trained him out of his more vulgar habits from Tatooine.

"Yatuka wermo!" Obi-Wan gives him a disapproving look from the passenger's side. Anakin snatches a glance, but keeps his eyes on traffic. "He was in my lane-" defensive.

He probably cusses more around his troops. When Obi-Wan is not around, but he tries very hard to appear as the stoic and ethereal Jedi Knight that he believes he should be. Anakin is not generally foul mouthed - but... ... there are occasions. It is a habit he was conditioned out of but... his natural state is more relaxed and casually foul.

WE know Anakin is a space wizard demi god with a laser sword, but he sees himself as much less than that...

Anakin has a lot of shame imbedded in him... Most of it came from the Jedi, some of it is leftover from Tatooine.

He was able to fight against the notions others held of him throughout his childhood, namely because he has his mother's support. As a Jedi... He only is given More shame and More "proof" that he was always unworthy and he's inherently flawed and broken.

Anakin's intelligence is in the way he listens to others... (The fandom is wrong about him okay? I feel this way a lot....) The not listening to the Jedi council is a tried and true practice that he was pushed to. The council is full of clowns.

He listens to his men. Watch him always ask "Does anyone have a better idea?" And when they do? He jumps on it. He relies on others in the field. He has learned not to rely on everyone, but those who have his trust have it absolutely The intuition vs intelligence conversation-

Anakin is best when he is using his intuition, which I suppose, is a form of genius really.

Anakin is a genius but he's not the most intelligent person. He is smart but he really undermines his own intelligence by thinking himself in circles and trying to navigate the Jedi code maze he has built everything around.

#hc; Anakin #uuuh... i just copied my notes from discord so i could have them for my essays #these are chaotic #anakin skywalker rp #listen.#if you read all of this?#let me know?#i mean if you wanna?#i am always here to talk abt my boy #i have more... uh... a lot more #he is a whole concept #i love he #vaderkin essays

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elionwriter · 3 years

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MY FAV STAR WARS COUPLE DYNAMICS:

(for the sake of this post let's all just pretend no one dies, ok?)

Anakin - Padme: their relationship started with pure drama and really bad, corny pick up lines and it just goes on that way. Even when they are happily exiled on Naboo with their children and everyone knows about them, whenever they talk about their love or tell the story to Luke and Leia it's always with the tones of a 'larger than life situation'. Obviously Anakin is the drama queen who really pushes it (and is still salty he had to give up his title as Jedi Master) but Padme fell for him when he did the whole whiny speech about sand and married him, she secretly supports this s***t! 😝

Han - Leia: bickering is their love language. Screaming to impose supremacy is their flirting. The thing is, they never bicker for serious stuff, because they actually agree on what matters and get along as a couple, it's the principle of things! Sometimes a friend of Ben overhears them and goes 😱 "I'm really sorry for intruding on this, pal. Will your parents be alright?" And Ben with the calmest expression will answer "They literally do this all the time". It's the silence that's worriesome. When Leia is just too tired to keep fighting after hours of doing so with politicians, when Han doesn't bother to stay to face the argument and just hops on the Falcon again, THAT'S when they realise they are falling out. So they push duty and lust for adventure aside to go back spending quality time together and patching things up. Sure enough, the bickering starts again and Ben is like "😌 aaah everything is fine again".

Din - Luke: they are the picture perfect couple. They literally never argue, at best they poke eachother when one of the two does something the other doesn't entirely agree on. They have each other's back in any instance, support every choice and are there for backup when others want a fight or have something to say either on Din's leadership or Luke's approach to the Jedi code and teachings. It took them forever to actually get together because they acted like shy teenagers on their first crush and Leia, Han and Cara had to practically push them into each other's arms, but once they got there they were solid a couple as a rock. Others look at them and think they are either disgustingly mushy or still in a 'honeymoon face', because NO ONE has such a stress-free marriage. Din and Luke truly don't get what the fuss and all the drama's about. So even though they end up practically parenting the space version of the kids from 'Cheaper by the dozen' they act like parental figures to their friends as well. Life as Manda'lor and the Reviver of the Jedi order can be hell, but together they are just balanced like that and can face everything! They even create a new co-op fighting style for Jedi/Mandalorians that becomes the terror and amazement of the Galaxy for centuries to come!😌😏💪

Kannan - Hera: very similar to Dinluke except they do at times have some small moments of tension because Hera is a fighter to the core and Kannan can't help but wonder if the battle will ever truly end. But his queen's passion and resolve is so bright and steeled that he can't help but fall in love a little more every time and follow, knowing it's the right thing to do. They have an example to set for their son, after all. Kannan will absolutely love Jacen and will introduce Ezra to his son (once Sabine and Ashoka bring him back) as his older brother. Much like when he trained Ezra or faced Sabine, Kannan will sometimes doubt himself and wonder if he's acting like a good parent to Jacen. Hera will smile and reassure him, describing to him the bright and happy smile on their son's face or how Jecen's nose scrunches and his long, greenish ears wiggle in delight whenever Kannan plays with him or cuddles him. As Hera says so, Kannan holds her and feels like he can actually see it too.

Sabine - Ezra: After Ezra is brought back to his family from wherever or whatever happened to him after facing Thrawn, both of them will just indulge in sudden hugs or touches to make sure the other is actually there. Of course, they first think of their bond as a solid friendship and camaraderie, because that's what it was when they left off. The extra touching is just the response to being apart for so long and being worried for each other. But then Sabine notices that Ezra actually looks really good with long hair and the scruffy beard he grew out. She catches herself thinking of how warm and safe if feels in his arms and mentally kicks herself because she's a Mandalorian, all she should need is a loaded blaster to feel safe. Ezra, on the other hand, starts playing with Sabine's hair when complimenting her new dye and suddenly finds himself cupping her face like it's the most natural thing in the world. Long story short, they fall for eachother hard and become the prototype of the couple "my boyfriend/girlfriend is my best friend". When they are comfortable with their new status, Ezra goes back flirting dorkishly with her like he did all those years back when they first met and Sabine will tease him by shooting his advances down.

Ashoka - Bo Katan: joke's on Bo-katan for cringing back in the day at her sister's relationship with a Jedi. She thought destiny or the force or whatever was really messing with her when she realized that her rival and pupil, Din Djarin, the new leader of Mandalorians was also falling helplessly in love with a Jedi (Obi-Wan's student nonetheless). When she hears Sabine Wren and her Jedi boy also got together she stops questioning it. The thing is that she herself has been inexplicably, undeniably charmed and hooked to a Jedi for years now. The very same Jedi she had teased didn't have enough booty, what felt like a lifetime prior. But she's Bo-Katan, she can be in angry denial about anything. Ashoka, on the other hand, has seen and has been conditioned too much on what attachment does to a Jedi, even if she doesn't consider herself one anymore. So, even if the chemistry between them and the long lingering stares are real, their love is always kept a quiet, unspoken thing. Whenever they call eachother "my old friend" they know they actually mean more, but leave it at that. Everyone around them can't help wondering 'are they a thing or...?!' but they never feed the theories and gossip. They know what they are and mean for each other when they are alone in the same room, talking about the past or what must be done in the future and Ashoka's mere presence is enough to cool down the ever-present burning rage inside of Bo. Meanwhile, the other can't help but admire how single minded and devoted to her people and culture the Mandalorian princess is, how she never gave up on them, despite everything. They smile softly at each other, then one of them breaks the spell by leaving. They go back to their own business and life untill destiny or the force or whatever brings them back into eachother's orbit.

Revan - Carth: normally they act very much like Leia and Han with the bickering and teasing bit but then Revan has one of her memories returning or is haunted by how she basically condemned her lifelong best friend Malak to a terrible death and Carth instantly does a 180° shift becoming the most caring, comforting and tender partner. She'll hide into his chest until the crisis in over. Sometimes it can go on for days and Revan is oh, so grateful of how patient and good Carth is to her. Then, at times, Carth is the one burying his head in her chest and she's the one doing the tender, hair strokes. Carth needs a lot of reassuring and might get upset and fret over even what appears to be a trivial thing. He's trying to heal and get better but the long, long years of solitude, hurt and paranoia are hard to iron down. Expecially when Carth seems to have an instinct that puts a Jedi to shame, foreseeing a crisis neither she nor Bastila had picked up. But he is making an effort to improve and she's proud of him, even as he tries very clumsily to patch things up with his son Dustil. She doesn't really step in that matter more than she has to, since Dustil is clearly not happy nor comfortable with the idea of them being together yet. Carth will sometimes open his heart to her and say something deeply meaningful on how he wants her to stay ( when she looks particularly haunted and about to leave without a work of warning) and be happy but does so with such awkward word choices that Revan just cannot refrain from laughing at his face and making puns. It's at this point that the back and forth teasing resumes. There is no denying they are still deeply wounded individuals and they are at their best when their friends are there to lighten the mood and show love to the both of them. Because they could easily go down the path of drama like Anakin and Padme but they choose the Ebon Hawk crew shenanigans instead.

Obi Wan - Satine: their love is stored in the memory of that glorious time they spent together in their youth. A moment in which no responsibility or sense of honor could keep them from giving in to that feeling of want and need for each other. It's a love that never truly went away, never left space for anyone else, but it never fully grew and bloomed either. So years down the line, that's what it is for Obi-Wan, a pleasant memory. He would never change how things went afterwards, but he wouldn't give up those memories and feelings for anything in the world. Satine feels the same, mostly. There are nights that she falls asleep wondering what could have been if only she had talked up at the decisive moment and dreams of a life spent together with Obi-Wan. But when she wakes up, she sobers up and goes back to her things. It's when she looks at her Korkie smile and notices how resembling to his secret father he is that she is truly at peace. She managed to keep a peace of Obi-Wan in her life.

Cal - Merrin: I have no idea for this one, but just stop and consider the possible 'nightsisters babies' though! Wouldn't they be the cutest things ever?! 😀

Sorry Cara Dune, you just haven't met the woman of your life yet. 😔

Also, I kinda like Zeb and Callus too but I don't really ship them enough to add them here, you know? Anyway I'm sure they make a lovely couple.

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…

what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?

favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!

go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)

tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky

Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.

Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??

Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!

But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”

Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/

Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)

Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.

Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.

So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.

So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.

(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)

sleepover weekend asks

#buffaluff #ask #star wars #long post

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passable-talent · 4 years

Note

part 2 for the sith reader plleeeaasee????? im loving it

part one here

I’m aware of the memability of the youngling massacre and i know i promised to not make reader/anakin redeemable but,,, im gonna do it anyway. strategically it doesnt make sense to murder the next generation and also reader is constantly trying to make anakin believe they’re doing the right thing. reader doesn’t have the luxury of saying ‘do it or padme dies’. they’ve got to be smarter than palpatine was.

Good news: you’re a Sith Lord. Palpatine is gone. Anakin’s on your side. Also, he loves you, that’s good.

Bad news: you now have so much more on your plate. You’ve got to activate the clones to kill the Jedi, give a speech before the Senate, accompany Anakin to Mustafar to get rid of the Separatists, there was just so much to do, and in so little time.

So, no matter how you wished to stay in his embrace forever, you pulled from Anakin’s arms, brushing back his hair sweetly.

“Love, we need to start moving against the Jedi,” you said softly, righting his very disheveled robes. “You have to go to the temple. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”

“I can’t kill any Jedi,” he said, breaking your gaze. In response you hugged him tightly, comfortingly. You’d known he would worry about that.

“I know, I know, I’m not asking you to.” His loyalty to you was strong, but you knew it was not yet unbreakable. “The Younglings- they can be saved. I’ll take care of the Jedi, but you need to make sure they’re safe.” He nodded, fixing the last few details of his tousled robes, and kissed you one last time before he left the room.

Which left you alone, with your thoughts, and some very knotted hair.

It took a moment to clean yourself up as well, but soon enough you could take a seat at Palpatine’s desk, calling up the communications you’d seen under his fingers a thousand times. The Clones’ slave chips would take over their will the moment you gave the order, and you bit your lip for a moment, wishing you could be there in person to see it all. But you had something much more important to do with your time.

You pulled your hood over your head and opened your communications to all of the Clone Squadron Leaders.

“Execute Order Sixty Six,” you said, and the words burned on your tongue.

You didn’t really have time to waste, you see. You had to meet Anakin at the temple, ‘find’ the evidence you’d plant, rush back to the Senate, then make it to Mustafar. You had a very full schedule for the afternoon, and yet- you couldn’t help it.

You leaned back in the chair, closed your eyes, and opened yourself to the Force. You reached out across the galaxy, feeling into the light, and the dark. Through it, you felt a thousand Jedi dying. And nothing, well, almost nothing, had ever felt so good.

The Jedi Killer, you’d been, in the Clone Wars. And though the generation of them did not die by your saber, it was your order, your decision, your words, that had brought them down. You weren’t just a killer. You were a crusader.

Once you’d gotten your breath back, you pulled up a different communication, one wired to a meeting hall on Mustafar, full of people you despised. Nute Gunray, Shu Mai, truly awful people. People who had come to power, and did nothing with it but collect wealth. Disgusting, truly- when one comes to power, they’re meant to wield it, just as you were. But these people only cared about their trade, their capitalism. Pitiful.

“Viceroy,” you said with a dark smile, eyes hidden beneath your cloak.

“Lord Errar,” Nute acknowledged you with a bit of surprise in his voice, “Where is Lord Sidious?”

“He has just a bit to take care of in the Senate,” you said with a wicked smile. Nothing made your soul spark like a well-crafted lie. “Once that’s taken care of, I will pay you a visit, to give you your reward for your help. When the night is over, my friends, you’ll be left in peace.” Giving them no time to ask questions, you closed the communication, delivering your last word to an empty office.

“Pieces.”

The last thing you needed to do before you left was nice and easy- the press of a button. Hidden away in the far corner of the Chancellor’s desk was a button meant only for emergencies, which is certainly why you used it now, of course. The death of the chancellor was an emergency, wasn’t it?

You called a senate meeting.

Once that was done, you knew you had only an hour before the senators would be expecting you, so you found your saber and hurried to your speeder. It didn’t take long to get to the Temple, where you had sent Anakin. He had rescued the younglings from their training, in the midst of the battlegrounds that the Temple had become, and gotten them away to their chambers, in the care of droids. He met you in the center of the temple, Jedi and Clones alike scattered around the floor. So caught up in his mission, he hadn’t noticed how long you’d been at the temple, working your way through the files.

“I told them that I’d come back when it was safe,” he said, “The droids will take care of them.”

“Good,” you breathed, giving him a quick kiss under the ear. You took his hand, and slowly tugged him toward the communications center of the temple. “I have to show you something.” You pulled up the files you’d been painstakingly preparing for months, crafting them, ensuring they looked as though they were written by Jedi fingers.

On them were plans from the other side of the Clone Wars, supporting the Separatists. They held details about the destruction of the Senate, the assassination of the Chancellor, without even knowing he was a Sith. And of course, your magnum opus, the most perfect thing you could’ve included- the passage that described how the Jedi would allow the Dark Side of the Force, the Sith, to rise in power so that the Jedi could shift the blame for the war to the Sith. This, you knew, would hurt Anakin most of all- that the Jedi had completely ignored their duty to fight the Dark.

“I just don’t understand,” you said softly, shaking your head, darkness pulsing deep in your chest with a beautiful, well-crafted lie. “I thought- I thought that Sidious was behind the war. But even he was being manipulated by the Jedi, he was going to be gotten rid of so that the Jedi could control the Senate.” Anakin couldn’t look away from the holograms.

“Anakin, I’m so sorry,” you breathed, lacing your arms around the closest of his, hoping to give him even the slightest comfort, as he accepted that the people who’d raised and trained him were so evil. Apparently.

“There’s some good news, though,” you said, motioning to one of the holograms, “We now know where the Separatist leaders are. You and I- we can go...” you paused, seeming to stumble to find the proper word. “...Remove them.” Finally breaking his eyes away from the holo, he nodded, pulling you just a bit closer.

You kissed his cheek, giving him a moment to grieve.

“I should inform the Senate,” you said, “They’ve never met me, but I was the Chancellor’s apprentice. They’ll respect me.” His flesh hand came to your face, and you leaned into it, closing your eyes for the briefest of moments to drown in his affection.

“Be careful,” he told you, and you nodded.

“Can you-” you said, shaking your head briefly, trying to be gentle with him. “Come with me, please. I don’t want you to stay here by yourself.” He nodded, and together you walked to your speeder, taking it to the Senate hall.

And this- this was to be your masterpiece.

“Senators-” you began, aligning your shoulders in a way that had you looking powerful enough to command their attention, but nervous enough they wouldn’t suspect you for foul play. “I’m afraid I have some very disturbing news for you.”

"I was an apprentice to the late Chancellor Palpatine, a gifted and respected leader who guided our republic through the first war in generations. I’m saddened to inform you, though, that this war was not what you’ve been told.” Whispers rippled through the senate’s hall.

“The Jedi, to whom this Senate entrusted the peace of the galaxy, had given power to the Separatists, in order to stir up the war. Earlier this very day, four Jedi masters ambushed myself and the Chancellor in his office...” you trailed away, bringing up emotion to stir their sympathy.

“I only escaped thanks to one young Jedi who still represents what the Jedi Order was meant to. The Chancellor was not so lucky.” You felt it as grief rolled through the room, and fought away a smile. They believed your every word- of course they did.

“On the battlefields, the horror of the Jedi and their plans were realized, and many of them were executed for crimes against the republic, following the Chancellor’s dying wishes. His other...” You shook your head, as though disbelieving what you were about to propose.

“His other wish on his deathbed was that I carry on his work. That I guide the Republic into a future of peace.” The energy in the room shifted, but not toward the negative. No, they trusted you. They were considering giving your former mentor’s power to you. They just needed a little more.

“I know you’ve never seen me before, you have no reason to trust me. I implore you, honorable senate, to believe me. I will see it that this Republic is capable of recognizing traitors, as the Jedi had become. I will see to it that the remaining traitorous Jedi are hunted down and executed. I promise to lead this Senate into the future!”

The cheer went up.

“I vote to reorganize the Republic, into something stronger, more powerful, more capable of destroying threats to the peace!”

The energy was beautiful, lifting you to levels of bliss you had never felt before. You were to be the most powerful Sith there had ever been, controlling the Senate, the Republic, the Sith, the Jedi.

The Republic. Such a name didn’t have quite the ring you wanted. You were to be, what, Chancellor? No, no, that wouldn’t do.

“Together, we will create the first Galactic Empire- a beacon of hope for the galaxy, the strongest protector of the peace that the galaxy has ever seen!”

Emperor. Now that was a title you were proud to carry.

“We have to hurry,” you told Anakin as you strode from the meeting hall, “The Separatists might hear word that we know their location. We’ve got to get to them before they move.”

They hadn’t- they waited, like the proper pawns they were, for the reward you had promised them. Such a reward came in one of two forms:

Anakin’s saber, or yours.

You had planned out everything that would happen this day, everywhere you would go, every bit of it. You knew every step, and were never caught off guard.

Until you discovered Obi-Wan Kenobi waiting outside of your ship.

You had to make a decision fast- how you were going to play this. Obi-Wan was a talented Jedi, and possibly the one person who you’d be incapable of manipulating, thanks to that strong Jedi code. He was also the only person who Anakin might be loyal to, over you.

So, you let Anakin have his reunion, as though you hadn’t even noticed Obi-Wan.

You stayed close, but you hadn’t thought to make Anakin realize he’d have to stand opposed to Obi-Wan, so you had to wait for the proper moment to interject yourself.

“Anakin, are you alright? There’s been so much happening- I was so worried.” You knew Obi-Wan had noticed you, but for all of Obi-Wan’s faults, at least he knew that you were no threat to Anakin.

“I’m fine,” Anakin told him, and you recognized what he was feeling- he was pushing away his emotions, as the Jedi Order had always told him to.

“Master Yoda has lost contact with Master Windu- we don’t know what happened. Do you?”

And there it was. The moment you’d been waiting for.

“Stop,” you groaned, crossing your arms. “You know exactly what Windu was doing. You know exactly where he was today.” You stepped forward, putting yourself almost between Obi-Wan and Anakin.

“No,” Obi-Wan said, astonished by your presence. He’d known you were there, but something about you now almost reminded him that you were barely an adult, just like Anakin. “No, sith apprentice, I don’t know what happened.”

“That’s a lie!” you shouted, not yet bringing up your saber. You put your arm in front of Anakin, as though protecting him from Obi-Wan. “You’re done lying to him!”

“Excuse me?”

“Mace Windu along with three other Jedi masters were sent to murder the Chancellor of the Republic so that the Jedi could assume control! Anakin and I found the plans in the Jedi temple ourselves!” Obi-Wan’s expression fell, and he didn’t look away from you.

“What are you talking about?”

You shared a glance with Anakin, and suddenly, you had an idea.

“They didn’t even tell you?” You whispered, turning your gaze to the floor as though you were considering. You were, though, honestly- there was no reason why this needed to end with Obi-Wan dead, not if you could reel him in just as cleanly as you did Anakin. And if you failed, then to Anakin it would feel incredibly genuine that Obi-Wan would need to die, ensuring his loyalty either way.

You brought your gaze to Anakin’s, and offered him the slightest pitiful smile.

“Maybe he can be trusted,” you said, offering him the hope that his master was redeemable. Lifting your chin as though gathering your wits, you turned to Obi-Wan, something under your ribcage sparking again with the love of a good plan seeing itself through.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, Master, but the Jedi had been plotting the death of Chancellor Palpatine, and once he was gone, they were going to assume control of the Senate. Your masters have been behind this war, all along. It’s all very-” You shook your head. “Despicable.”

“It can’t be true,” Obi-Wan said, his voice stealing air from his lungs, his chest seeming to deflate, and this couldn’t have possibly worked out better.

“We found the plans, in the Temple,” Anakin said, and Obi-Wan looked at his former Padawan.

“I assure you, Master,” you said, lowering your head, “I just want the galaxy in peace. I know you aren’t inclined to believe me, I understand...” It occurred to you that if he knew the whole of the story, he might be swayed toward you.

“Anakin and I are a Dyad,” you told him, and Anakin’s entire presence in the Force pulsed with surprise. “I always thought that it meant we were destined to be enemies, but I guess the future is harder to predict than that.” Obi-Wan studied you briefly, looking over your face, trying to find any hint of dishonesty. He underestimated you- you breathed dishonesty, it was in your bloodstream. Why would he be able to see it on you?

“You are a sith, are you not?” Obi-Wan asked, presumably weighing whether or not he could trust you.

“I was abandoned by my master, because of how I felt for Anakin,” you told him, and none of it was a flat lie. That was your specialty- you were surprisingly honest, if one listened with a close enough ear. You reached out to take Anakin’s hand, an unabashed show of affection that felt quite teenaged. “I just want him to be safe.”

“If I can trust you, (Y/N), which I’m not sure I can,” Obi-Wan said, “I’ll help restore the galaxy in every way I can.”

-🦌 Roe

part 3

#reader insert #angst #sith!reader #anakin x reader insert #star wars anakin #anakin x reader #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin x sith reader #anakin skywalker x sith reader #star wars #Star Wars prequels #fics

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cora-vizsla · 3 years

Text

Into The Dark- Chapter 1

Pairing: Jedi!OC x Sith!Obi Wan

Word Count: 4.5K+

Story Rating: E (18+)

Chapter Rating: Just assume they’re all E at this point.

Warning: Swearing. Threats of violence. Mentions of death/dying. Mention of war. Drugging. Snark. Angst. (I mean seriously if you know me you know angst is gonna happen)

A/N: This is the beginning! If you haven’t read Hypnotic this story isn’t going to make much sense to you. If you have read Hypnotic, welcome back! I hope you’re ready to be sad lol. Anyway, enjoy and let me know if I missed any tags!

“Darling, you can’t be serious. There is no way that you’re going.”

“I am being serious, and I am going. This isn’t really a discussion. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“Explain it to me. Please?”

Zara sighed and sat down next to her husband. Obi Wan smiled at her softly, brushing her hair back.

“Mace called me. Palpatine got loose which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I wouldn’t care but.. he took Cody.”

“Cody? Who the hell is Cody?”

They both looked up to Anakin walking in, a four-year-old Leia on his hip.

“Zara!”

She slipped down Anakins leg and bolted into Zara’s arms. She laughed and giggled as Zara held her close and spun her.

“Oh, my beautiful little Leia. Couldn’t let your daddy go without you?”

“Nope! Gotta watch him. Mama says so.”

Anakin rolled his eyes but laughed.

“I came here to help you, Obi Wan, but if that slimeball took Cody there is no talking her out of it.”

“The clone?”

“My friend.”

Zara snapped and glared at the blonde. He held his hands up defensively and sat back, crossing one leg over the other.

“Yeah, Oh-bee. Her friend!”

Zara laughed and kissed the girls cheek.

“That’s right. You get it. We protect our friends, no matter what.”

“No matter what!”

Zara set Leia down who immediately ran around the room getting into everything. Anakin sighed but Zara motioned for him to let her go. Out of the two, Leia was the well behaved one. She was busy but it was more out of curiosity than breaking anything. Luke was more likely to break things just to see how they worked.

“The question I have is why you didn’t call me to help you.”

“Mace was very clear that neither you nor Obi Wan were welcome on this mission.”

“So, you’re working for the Jedi. Again.”

“No, sweetheart. I am helping them get my friend to safety. We all know how dangerous Palpatine is.”

“All the more reason for me to be by your side.”

“Can’t say I disagree with the Sith, Zar.”

Zara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“No. Both of you will stay here. Anakin you have a family now. Your kids and wife are top priority. I’m not letting you get dragged into Jedi shit again. And you, my love, don’t play nice.”

“How rude, darling.”

“Rude, but correct. You don’t play nice with the Jedi and frankly I’m not letting you get near Palpatine again. He controlled you once.”

“So, you don’t trust me.”

Anakin cleared his throat and called for Leia. She ran over and jumped into his arms, holding on tightly.

“C’mon sweetheart. Aunt Zar needs to talk to her domesticated Sith.”

“Mama says you need to be nice to uncle Oh-Bee.”

“Well, mama isn’t here.”

“Good thing I am so I can tell her how mean you are to Aunt Zar’s husband who she loves very much.”

“It’s complicated, Leia.”

“Nope. Everyone duh-serves forgiveness, daddy. Plus, he makes Aunt Zar happy.”

Anakin sighed and looked at Zara for help, but she crossed her harms and shrugged.

“And don’t say its com-pluh-cated. You made Aunt Zara cry before. She forgave you. So, you should be nice.”

“You sound a lot like your mother.”

“Good! She’s the smartest person I know.”

Zara chuckled as Anakin sighed, defeated, and left the small home. She turned back to Obi Wan who had been watching her.

“We have a good life, Zara.”

“I agree.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

She sighed and let her shoulders slump slightly.

“Obi Wan, Cody meant a great deal to me. We worked together for a long time. I know that you don’t really work with anyone or play nice. It’s just when you work with someone for so long they become like family to you.”

“Not to be rude, but you left him before.”

“I left the entire order. I trusted the Jedi to keep the clones safe. They were to have their inhibitor chip removed and retired with honor. That isn’t what happened.”

“Well, your first mistake was trusting the Jedi.”

She sighed in frustration and got up off the couch. She put more things in her bag before turning to look at her husband.

“I need you to trust me. I need you to understand that a friend needs help.”

“And I need you to understand, my darling, that I know Sidious better than anyone on the Jedi counsel. What do you plan to do? Waltz in and tell him to give you your clone back and go back to jail?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what are you doing, Zara? This is reckless.”

“You wouldn’t save a friend if they were in danger?”

“I don’t have friends.”

“You wouldn’t save Anakin?”

“Absolutely not.”

Zara scowled and crossed her arms.

“Obi-Wan!”

“You could have picked anyone else we know, and I would have at least hesitated. That’s on you for choosing Anakin. It’s not like we’re the best of friends.”

“You wouldn’t save Padme? The twins?”

“I wouldn’t save them without you. I wouldn’t even dream of going without you.”

“Palpatine controlled you once.”

“Sidious had control; it was not over me. If you recall I convinced him not to kill you and tricked him into thinking that you were becoming my obedient little plaything. I tricked him at every corner, and he had no idea until the very end. Tell me I am wrong.”

She fell silent, looking at him with sadness written all over her face.

“Then tell me what the true problem is. Tell me that you’re afraid I’ll feel the dark side too strongly and go back. This has nothing to do with me not playing nice. It has everything to do with the Jedi playing into your fear of the very darkness that I carry inside of me and using it to control you. How can you not see that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Which part?”

Zara looked down at her feet and chewed at her bottom lip.

“None of it. Cody needs my help. If I want the help and the resources needed to help him, I must do it their way. I love you with all my heart. I truly do. Is there some truth to what you said? Yes. I think I’ll always be afraid of you turning fully to the dark and not needing me anymore. The darkness does scare me. I’ve never said anything contrary to it. Your darkness doesn’t scare me though.”

“If you trust me, then you have to also trust that darkness, Zara.”

“I have to do this, Obi Wan.”

“You really don’t. You can’t change my mind of this.”

“Then I guess we’re at an impasse.”

Obi Wan stood up and walked to her, placing his hands gently on her arms.

“I know nothing that I say will stop you from going. I’ve known the entire time we’ve discussed this. Just know that I strongly think you should take me with you. We’re stronger together. Always have been, even if we didn’t want to admit it at the time.”

“I have to do this.”

He nodded and kissed her forehead, holding her close to him.

“Come back to me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of not coming back to you.”

“Don’t make me come looking for you either.”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his torso, resting the side of her face on his chest.

“I mean it, Zara. I will tear this galaxy apart before I let anyone, or anything keep us apart.”

“I believe you.”

“Good. Just don’t ever let yourself forget that.”

XXX

Zara stepped down the ramp of her ship and pulled her saber into her hand, igniting it. She looked at the burned orange hue of it and thought of the man waiting for her. When she had settled onto Naboo, one of the first things she did was make a saber with the crystal he had given her at the ball.

Now she was glad for it. It reminded her of him and everything that she was always fighting for. It wasn’t as beautiful as his eyes, but it was close enough to bring her some peace. She wasn’t thrilled about not having him there, but she knew it was the best thing she could do.

She thought about their argument quite a bit on her trip. Obi Wan had been right about her fear. She feared losing him more than she feared losing her own life. The last thing she wanted to happen was for Palpatine to get his hands on him again. She couldn’t risk it.

The same went for Anakin. He had already twisted him beyond breaking once. He had no training with the darkness that he now carried. She had wondered if Obi-Wan could teach him but never brought it up. They didn’t get along and it came down to how much the darkness scared her.

It hurt her heart how much Obi-Wan was hurting. She didn’t do it to harm him, but it didn’t change that it did. Zara desperately wanted to get Cody to safety and go back to her life. They both deserved to be done fighting and yet there she was fighting another battle for the Jedi.

She made her way down the hallway and felt through the force. She sighed when she felt a familiar signature and moved into a wide-open room. In the middle of the floor was Cody, hands bound in front of him. Zara looked around to check for any traps but when she didn’t see any, she walked to her old friend.

“General?”

“Just Zara, Cody. I’m not a general anymore.”

“You.. you shouldn’t have come.”

“Of course, I did. You’re my friend. As soon as I found out you were missing, I came.”

“You don’t understand, General. That’s exactly what he wanted.”

“Who? Palpatine?”

“I’m so sorry.”

She knelt down to look at him and picked his head up to look at her gently. Her eyes widened when she saw that he had tears brimming his eyes.

“Cody, why are you sorry? We’ve talked about this in depth. I don’t care that you’re a clone. You mean-“

“I’m not the only one that knows your soft spot for clones, General. I can’t.. I’m so sorry.”

Before Zara could ask him what was wrong, she felt a jab in her arm. She looked down to see Cody sticking a syringe into her arm and push the plunger down all the way. She yanked her arms away and fell backwards onto her butt.

“Cody?”

“I told you.. you shouldn’t have come. I’m so sorry, General.”

The binders fell off Cody’s wrists and he stepped forward, pulling Zara up into his arms. The world was spinning so she shut her eyes, desperately wanting it to stop.

“I have her, sir.”

“Very good, CC-2224. Just as I expected. Bring her here. Destroy her ship before you do.”

“Yes, sir.”

Zara lost consciousness as Cody carried her to his ship. He set her down gently, placing her saber on his waist. Once she was settled, he walked over to her ship and looked through her belongings. He pulled out a few holo pictures that he clicked on. A small smile spread on his lips when he saw Anakin alive and well with Padme and two children. The other ones were of her and the Sith that had taken her. He had been worried when he first heard she had left the order with him but was assured it was her choice.

“You look so happy, General. Exactly what you should be.”

He closed his hands around the holos and slipped them into his pocket. He glanced at the dashboard and saw the emergency signal. He hesitated then reached past it, “accidentally” hitting the emergency button. When he stood up walked outside and waited.

“Stars, I hope that signal gets to someone.”

After a few moments he stepped back and shot at the fuel tank, exploding the ship as instructed. Once he made his way back into the ship and checked on Zara, he hit the coordinates for where he needed to go.

“I know you can’t hear me, General. I just hope you know I wouldn’t do this unless I had any other choice. I’ll do what I can to keep you safe. Hopefully General Skywalker and your Sith can find you in time.”

Once they were into hyperspace, he pulled her saber from his waist and looked at it. It was new from what he remembered, but still beautifully made. He expected nothing less from his former General.

He thought back on the first time he saw her. She showed up to command his troops with a smile on her face. He initially thought that she was going to be a weak leader and weakness meant death to clones. He had been so wrong.

She was the first Jedi to show compassion towards him and his men. She grieved their deaths just as much as he did. Nights when he was up wrestling with the pain of losing someone, she was always right by his side. She didn’t need to; the mission was always finished. She wanted to. She wanted them all to know that they were all individual people to her, regardless of where they came from.

She made it easy to run into the heat of battle. It wasn’t that he didn’t ever want to. He believed in his own fighting and trusted his brothers. It just came down to the fact that he wasn’t fighting for her. He was fighting alongside her.

He ignited the blade and widened his eyes when a new color came out. He didn’t know the particulars of the Jedi and their blades, but he had never seen a blade that color before. Cody looked down at his hand holding the hilt and frowned.

He had hurt her. What was even worse was the possibility that she would never forgive him for what he did. The chip had been deactivated before Order 66 could be initiated but somehow Sidious still had a hold over him. He had gotten close enough to him to activate it just enough to make him obedient. He glanced back at Zara asleep and shook his head.

“We will find a way to get out of this, General. We always do. Somehow, we will get you back to your happiness. Maybe I’ll even find a bit of it myself.”

He chuckled to himself and shook his head again.

“Look at me, thinking a clone can be anything more than a tool. You’d think I’d learn by now. Although you’d be yelling at me for even thinking that. Stars, General, I hope you don’t hate me forever for this.”

XXX

Mace sat in the council chambers alone. The last thing he wanted to do was call up Zara, but he didn’t see any other option. Once the war was ended, the Jedi no longer had the authority to do anything without the government’s approval. He knew that they wouldn’t send them for a single clone. As far as they were concerned Palpatine was no longer a threat. Not that the Jedi agreed with that at all.

When his coms went off with Zara’s emergency signal, he felt his chest get heavy. It ended just as quickly as it was received, but he knew the longer it took for her to message or call him, the worse that was. She had a propensity to bump into buttons, but she always called. He tried to call and was met with no answer. Master Yoda walked into the room and looked at him.

“Her signal went off then immediately went dead.”

“Feel it, do you? A great darkness, there is.”

“Yes. I feel it. It has to be Sidious.”

“Mmm. Yes. Suspect him, I do.”

“I’m going to have to reach out to Anakin and Veth.”

“Go. In much danger, she is.”

XXX

Obi-Wan sat in his home, reading the same book for the third time. As much as he wanted to reach out to Zara, he didn’t want her to think he was trying to distract her or force her back home. It was killing him though. Even just hearing her voice would make him feel better. He looked up from his book when he heard a ship land close by. Before he could stand up, Anakin was bursting into the house.

“Sith, it’s the Jedi.”

“Is Zara with them?”

“It’s only Master Windu.”

“Shit.”

He followed the younger man outside just in time to see Windu walking closer. He clenched his jaw, not wanting to see the Master Jedi at all.

“Anakin. Veth.”

The three men looked to the side as Padme and the twins came running out of their home.

“Wow, even your children are strong with the force.”

Anakin stepped in front of Mace and set his jaw; his hands balled into fists at his side.

“Don’t even look at them. They will never be hurt by you or the council.”

“I’m not here for your children, Anakin.”

“Where is my wife.”

Mace turned to look at Veth who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He still looked just as cocky to Mace as he had when he was a child, but the darkness swirling around him was new. It was the first time they had faced each other, other than through a holo communication.

“We should go inside. Small ears don’t need to hear this conversation.”

Anakin glanced over at Obi-Wan, who nodded back at him. Anakin looked back at Padme and gave her a tight smile before following Obi-Wan into the house. Once Mace made it through the door, Obi-Wan used the force to slam it behind him, smirking when the master Jedi jumped.

“If it weren’t for the children, you wouldn’t be welcome in this home. Now tell me, where is my wife and why is she not here with you?”

“She made it to where we though Sidious was with the clone trooper.”

“Cody.”

“What?”

“His name is Cody. You sent my wife to find him and don’t even have the courtesy to use the name she knows him by.”

Mace rolled his jaw and sighed.

“Cody. My apologies. She made it there safely and sent a communication she was heading inside the building. From there, we lost contact. Soon after, her emergency signal reached us and turned off within a few seconds.”

“And nothing since?”

“Nothing.”

“Sidious has her. That emergency signal was a mistake. Where is she.”

Obi-Wan was seething. Her being taken was exactly what he was afraid of, and he was completely powerless to change what was happening. The more he thought about how terrible Sidious was and how much she could be hurt, the more the room started swirling with darkness. Mace put his hand on his own saber and took a step back.

“Please calm down, Veth.”

“You called up my wife, the woman that I love more than anything in the galaxy and asked her to go on a fool’s errand with no backup. Then you come here and tell me that Darth Sidious, the most dangerous man I have ever met likely has her. Now you expect me to calm down. After everything you’ve done to me you’re lucky you’re still breathing. Let alone what you’ve done to her. She came to me broken, Master Windu. She came to me lost and afraid that she had lost every bit of her life and soul because she couldn’t live with your lies anymore. You nearly forced her to kill her best friend. Now you sent her into the hands of a madman. Tell me, why in the galaxy should I calm down?”

“I understand that you’re upset.”

Obi-Wan barked out a laugh and crossed his arms again.

“You don’t understand anything that the Jedi didn’t shove down your throat. Tell me where she is. I will go bring her back home where she belongs.”

“I’m going with you.”

Obi-Wan looked at Anakin and frowned. He could feel how unstable Anakin felt. The normal darkness around Obi-Wan he was used to, but the pure rage he was harnessing was drowning him. It wasn’t ever something that was discussed but he would never be able to fully get away from the dark side. It just wasn’t possible.

“You aren’t stable enough, Skywalker.”

Obi-Wan shot his finger out to point at Mace, shaking his head.

“You don’t get to tell him what to do, Mace. The audacity that you Jedi have. It is absolutely astounding that you thought you could walk into my home and tell anyone under this roof what to do.”

“You know he isn’t stable. I can’t be the only one who feels it.”

“What he is or isn’t is no problem of yours. Just give me the coordinates and I will take care of getting Zara back.”

“I want to help.”

“You have done enough. Now, if you will, I have much to do and none of that involves catering to you being in my home. You’re tarnishing the air and I won’t have it a moment longer.”

Mace sighed and shook his head, setting down a data stick with the coordinates and information about the ship she had been using. He thought about asking him how he planned on helping him, but he thought better and walked through the door. Once he left Anakin huffed out a frustrated sigh and grabbed the stick.

“Alright let’s go.”

“You aren’t going.”

“What!?”

Anakin spun around to glare at Obi-Wan.

“You just said-“

“I said he doesn’t get to come into my home and tell anyone what to do. That does not mean I don’t agree with him. You’re unstable. You have been for a long time.”

“I’m fine.”

“Tell me that my darkness didn’t affect you then.”

Anakin opened his mouth a few times and shut it, without uttering a word.

“Exactly. You have a family here that needs you.”

“Zara is my family too, Veth.”

“Stars above I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

Anakin smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why do you think I call you that?”

“You’re insufferable. I pity your former master. You wouldn’t have lasted five minutes having been my padawan.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m a lot stronger than you think I am.”

“I gladly would have tossed you off the first cliff we found. I considered it when we found you if I’m being entirely honest. Ungrateful brat that you are. You’re lucky when I shoved you it was to your safety.”

“I still don’t fully believe that was you. I don’t remember you being so smug.”

“No need for you to. It wouldn’t be the first time that you ignored the reality around you to construct fantasies that mean absolutely nothing to anyone else.”

“You’re an ass, do you know that?”

Obi-Wan barked out a laugh as he started gathering his supplies.

“Oh, I’ve been told. The fact of the matter is that you are not stable enough to come with me. I need to focus on Sidious and whatever he has planned. I can’t babysit you through your temper tantrums, reckless behavior and propensity to disobey any form of authority within a parsec of your location.”

Anakin frowned and huffed out a sigh.

“Then teach me.”

“Teach you? If Padme can’t control you, I highly doubt anyone else can.”

“I’ll listen! I’m not asking you to turn me to the dark side. I just.. I’m the only person in this situation that even remotely trusts you. If you would just help me, I can help you then we both can help Zara.”

He sighed and looked at the younger man in front of him. He meant what he had said to Zara: if given the choice he would not save him. He had a point though. He was someone he could trust to at least want to help his wife. After considering it for a moment he sighed and tossed his hands up in the air.

“Fine. Only if you go tell Padme that it is entirely your idea and that I was opposed to it from the beginning. You will listen to me and do as I tell you to. I will teach you how to control yourself at least enough to help Zara. Beyond that, just stay out of my way.”

“Yes! I’ll go grab my bag and let Padme know what is going on.”

Anakin head towards the door but paused when Obi-Wan spoke to him.

“And Anakin? The first time you aggravate me I’m shoving you out the airlock. Don’t think that I won’t either. I’ve killed for less.”

XXX

Cody carried a still unconscious Zara into a dark room, only having the very center lit up dimly.

“CC-2224 I see you have returned successfully.”

“Yes, sir.”

The shadow of a man stepped forward, using the force to push Zara’s hair from her face. Cody thought that she looked almost peaceful curled up in his harms, her face resting against his chest.

“You have pleased me, trooper. Now the next part of my plan begins. Take her to her chambers. She is not to leave unless I command it.”

“Sir, am I permitted to stay with her?”

“Yes. Keep her calm. Give her a reason to stay here. Though I don’t expect her to be on board with everything I say, at first, this entire plan is contingent on her falling in line.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cody turned, walking down a long hallway. Once he entered Zara’s chambers, the door shut and locked behind him. Normally it would have made him uneasy, but he was calmer knowing that he wouldn’t be separated from his former general just yet. He placed her down gently into the bed, careful to ensure she would be comfortable.

He pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed, crossing his arms over his chest. He glanced down at the black armor that he now wore, unsure of how he liked it. He always wore armor, so it wasn’t new. It just made him uneasy at how dark it was.

When he shifted, he felt the holo pictures that he had taken from her ship. He pulled them out and turned on their display, looking at Zara’s family. He felt so much guilt and pain knowing that he was part of the reason she wasn’t home with them. Cody knew that nothing good was going to come from Sidious getting his hands on Zara, but he was determined that he wouldn’t let her forget where she belonged.

“I can’t let you forget something that you always deserved to have, Zara. I just can’t.”

Zara continued to sleep while Cody sat next to her. He was caught between his loyalty for her and his obligation to follow Palpatine. He wanted her to wake up, but he also was afraid of what she was going to say once she realized he had betrayed her.

“You’re so strong, General. If anyone can fix this, it’s you. I believe in you so much. Please have just a little bit of faith in me.”

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@mapplestrudel @cannedsoupsucks @musubabii @mascaracoffee @ahsoka-padme

#sith #sith!obi wan #sith!obi-wan #sith!kenobi #sith!obi wan x oc #hypnotic #star wars #starwars #Star Wars Fic #fanfiction

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jennana501 · 4 years

Text

Attachment and the Jedi Way

SPOILERS FOR THE MANDALORIAN AND STAR WARS REBELS

I always know a story is quality when what I want to say about it to my mother and sisters is too difficult to text, and I have to drive over and talk with them in person. Such was the case when I watched the Mandalorian Chapter 13. There were so many juicy details, plot developments, and general excitement about the long awaited appearance of one of our favorite Star Wars characters that I couldn’t stand being restricted by phone when I wanted to gush a million things. We were all so stunned with the emotion of her appearance. Truly a moment I will remember for the rest of my life.

But after all the sweet outer frosting on the Chapter 13 cake had been licked clean, I dove into the center of this delectable episode and began to savor in its indulgent but substantial core. I have many thoughts about Thrawn, where Rex can be (is he dead or alive?) and where the season is going to go from there. What has interested me the most is Ahsoka’s reaction to our newly named green baby friend, Grogu.

First I must say how much I love Rosario Dawson’s performance. I feel she knows who Ahsoka is and what she has gone through. I am reminded of little ‘Soka in her very first appearance in the Clone Wars animated movie when she takes care of the way less loveable baby Hutt. Seeing that she is charmed by Grogu and that she clearly thinks he is cute makes me feel all sorts of warm fuzzies. Their very mythical and silent conversation in the moonlight shows how in tune with the force Ahsoka has become and that Grogu himself is much more than meets the eye.

And yet when it comes to it, Ahsoka says she cannot train Grogu. The reason: his attachment to Din. I was surprised at first. Ahsoka does not see herself as a Jedi, at least as far as her association with the order that raised and trained her. I didn’t think I’d hear about attachment from someone who has forgone the Jedi way, especially since Ahsoka appears to have indulged in an attachment or two.

I immediately realized she was on to something. I recall Grogu’s moments of using the force: saving Din from the mudhorn; using the Force to save everyone from a giant fireball; Force healing Greef Karga; and Force choking Cara Dune. The latter example stands out to me as being the most violent use of the Force we see from little Grogu. He perceives that Din is in danger and acts against what we now know is his training to hurt someone in a manner that is often consistent with the dark side.

Sure he is innocent and adorable. But he is also dangerous. And Ahsoka is right. It’s his attachment to Din that turns him from benevolent force using baby, to emotionally fueled deadly force bomb.

But I’ve seen Star Wars Rebels. I know that a Jedi can have relationships with other people and not turn to the dark side. You can love and still listen to the will of the Force. The Jedi were wrong. So I’m here to look into what attachment is, how you can love and not have attachment, and how Grogu might still become a Jedi, or at least the new wave sort of Jedi.

First we must look at the poster child for attachment issues: Anakin Skywalker. The Clone Wars TV show could be renamed- Star Wars: Attachment and How it Disrupts Nearly Every Mission the Republic Assigns Anakin. He prioritizes Padme, Ahsoka, R2, and even Obi-wan over everything else. He is constantly defying the orders of his commanders and putting the mission in danger.

This all comes down to what happened to Anakin’s mother.

When Anakin is taken from Tatooine, he has to leave his mother behind, with whom he shares a strong bond and attachment. When he is brought before the council and they say “he is too old”, what it really means is “he has already attached himself to something other than the Force.” Why else would being “too old” matter? The Jedi prefer blank slates for a good reason. Very small children have not developed strong attachments.

Anakin does turn into Darth Vader, after all.

It would appear the Jedi are very right to say that Anakin should not be trained. He is ripped away from his mother; the man who believes in him is killed; and he is forced to be trained by someone who treated him with bitter indifference. After losing his mother he has no help, no advice, no direction other than to stifle his negative emotions.

So instead of processing his grief and finding peace, he latches onto Padme. This attachment he will never abandon. He trains harder and becomes more powerful to always be able to keep Padme alive. The guilt Anakin feels for not being able to save his mother gives fire and passion to his obsession with Padme. And this obsession slowly erodes their relationship.

Anakin says things like “There’s nothing more important than the way I feel about you.” (Hostage Crisis) During the Mortis Arc when he sees a vision of his mother, they have this conversation:

“The only love I feel in my heart is haunted by what would happen should I let go.”

“Then it is not love. It is a prison.”

“But I have a wife…she’s everything to me.”

“She’s not your destiny.”

“But I love her.”

We see the very ugly side of Anakin’s obsession and jealousy in the arcs that involve Clovis. Anakin's insecurities are valid, but they simply drive home the point that his attachment to Padme will eventually unravel him and lead to violence.

Anakin and Obi-wan have a very interesting conversation during the episode “The Rise of Clovis” that reveals that Obi-wan is worried for Anakin and senses Anakin’s anger pitted towards the man he perceives as his rival.

Obi-wan: Master Yoda is feels that your judgements concerning Rush Clovis are clouded.

Anakin: I believe he can’t be trusted.

Obi-wan: Yes, but there is more isn’t there? I sense a deep anger in your by my simply saying his name.

Anakin: He almost got Senator Amidala killed and I would have been responsible.

Obi-wan: The Senator has risked her life many times. She’s quite capable of taking care of herself.

Anakin: They had a relationship...once. I simply feel she is vulnerable to her emotions.

Obi-wan: She is, or you?

Obi-wan then empathizes with Anakin, telling him that he knows what it’s like to harbor feelings for someone. He tells Anakin to not be ashamed of these feelings, but that he must make the rights choice “for the order”. The conversation ends with Anakin becoming very angry, asserting he knows what his responsibilities are and Obi-wan leaves the room, leaving Anakin to deal with his distress alone.

And since Anakin is denied the support he needs, he resorts to controlling, intimidating behavior. He commands Padme to stay away from Clovis, is cruel to him, and chooses to punish Padme emotionally for Anakin's own insecurities. When tensions reach their peak, he attacks Clovis. This fully expresses Anakin's own fear and rage at the idea of losing Padme to another man.

Anakin’s unchecked and untreated attachment to Padme, as we all know, results in the ultimate ruination of the both of them, the Jedi Order, and the Republic. He will never out anything about her. She is his center. Nothing else matters.

This is not Anakin’s fault. This is the fault of the Jedi. Their teachings about attachment are unhelpful at best, and this stems from their crippling confusion over the difference between “attachment” and “love”.

It makes me wonder if they even know what they are talking about at all. Their advice about attachment involves regurgitating confusing platitudes.

In “The Revenge of the Sith"; Anakin goes to Yoda to seek his counsel. Anakin is told that “attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.” When Anakin asks what he must do to overcome attachment, Yoda tells him simply to “train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”.

Thanks Yoda, I’ll get right on that.

Anakin needs to “let go”, apparently, and if he is holding onto something dangerous, what should he be holding onto instead? No one ever explains. The Jedi simply tell him to “let it go”.

It’s no wonder that Anakin can’t ever consider letting go of Padme. For all he knows, that means cutting her out of his life and never speaking to her again. Or worse, does that mean letting her die the next time her life is in danger? Does it mean he should replace love with indifference? He has no idea. As he is given no tools, Anakin fixes nothing and plummets to his unavoidable demise.

Divorce papers and deleting Padme’s number isn’t how Anakin is to overcome “attachment”, and it was never going to be. Obi-wan tried this method with Satine, and though he didn’t fall to the dark side, he never recovers from the bitterness and regret he feels.

In “Voyage of Temptation”, Anakin and Obi-wan discuss his and Satine’s relationship. Obi-wan explains his Jedi duties forced him to leave Satine after forming a strong bond and love with her over the year they were together on Mandalore. The Jedi teachings dictate that he let Satine go. So, obedient Padiwan that he was, Obi-wan cuts off his relationship with Satine. The results show that this was not the way. If the goal of the Jedi is to avoid negative emotion, then this technique fails and perhaps cripples Obi-wan forever.

Anakin: “As Master Yoda says: ‘A Jedi must not form attachments.’”

Obi-wan: “Yes, but he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.”

I’m here to tell you today that Obi-wan perhaps gets screwed over by the Jedi Code more than any other Jedi. Obi-wan does not have an attachment to Satine. Sure he says “Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order” but that’s only because that is what he has been taught. He is taught you only have two options: love someone or be a Jedi.

Obi-wan loves Satine. He has a relationship with her. Some even think, myself included, that he is physically intimate with her. Qui-gon no doubt encouraged this relationship. He probably carefully nurtured Obi-wan during this time, helping him be able to love without forming an attachment. But Obi-wan is not able to see that he could love Satine and still be a Jedi. Leaving the order means that his Jedi journey would be over. If he had realized love and attachment are separate things, he could have been a Jedi and could have had Satine's love, too .

Qui-Gon nearly convinces Obi-wan to be different: Obi-wan could have been a Jedi with feelings and love. Satine is a person who values duty above all, just as Obi-wan does. She respects that he answers to the Force. They would have been able to perfectly rule together with that mutual understanding. He could have been her force wielding husband without being attached to Satine and falling to the Dark side.

True attachment is so dangerous to a Jedi because if they attach to a person, an idea, or a cause then they are not attached to the will of the Force.

This is the missing detail Anakin and Obi-wan needed. Obi-wan could have been completely attached to the Force, even while loving Satine and even becoming her husband. Anakin needs to know that he could attach his center to the Force, and that this would not interfere with a deep and meaningful relationship with Padme. While centered in the Force, Anakin could be Padme’s husband loving and living with her, but ultimately his duty is to the Force, just as her duty is ultimately to the Republic.

We know all of this is possible because of two characters from Star Wars: Rebels. Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla share what is essentially a marital bond. They love, live, and lead together. They are physically intimate, but they do not have each other as their centers. We see evidence of this in the episode “Call to Action”, when Hera leaves Kanan in the hands of the Empire. She knows that if she risks saving Kanan then everyone else will be killed.

If Hera had an attachment to Kanan like Anakin had to Padme, she would have risked everything to get Kanan back. Since Hera is not one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, she would have failed and the rebel cell would have been stopped dead in its tracks.

We also see evidence that Kanan is not attached to Hera. At the very end of their journey, after Kanan and Hera have fully expressed their feelings to each other, Kanan sacrifices himself for Hera and the others by using the Force to hold back an explosion. Though it appears as Kanan is doing this because of his love for Hera, that is not the true motivation. If Kanan has an attachment to Hera, things would have gone differently.

It is heavily implied leading up to this event that Kanan knows it is the will of the Force that he is to die. He knows this because the Force is his center and not Hera. If his center is attached to Hera, I believe two things would have happened. Kanan would have tried and failed to save himself along with Hera and the others. His actions would have been motivated by selfishness and desperation to extend his time with Hera. If Kanan tries to save himself, the conflagration consumed them all. The only way Kanan can prevent this is to draw upon the dark side of the Force. This would have thrown Kanan out of balance with the Force, and put him in very real danger of falling to the dark side.

Instead, Kanan allows the will of the Force be done: he dies and his time with Hera comes to an end. Hera knows this about Kanan, and has always accepted the possibility he would choose the Rebel cause over their time together. Kanan knows the same of Hera. This mutual respect is the foundation of their love for each other. A Jedi can have a love and a bond with someone as long as they understand that ultimately, if the Force wills them to do something they must do it, regardless of how that affects their lives together.

So, can Grogu live like Kanan? The issue with Grogu, however, is that he already has attachment. His center is his adopted father, Din. Grogu is currently like Anakin, and if Din hands Grogu over to Ahsoka, they will have very Anakin-like troubles. From whom is Grogu going to learn? Ahsoka is unable to teach Grogu how to let go of deep attachment and center on the Force. Ezra Bridger can.

In the second part of this post, I will discuss how Ezra Bridger is one of the most important Jedi who has ever lived, because he will be able to Grogu learn to let go, attach to the force, love and live, and yet do what needs to be done.

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gffa · 4 years

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Hi! Okay, so, to build this up a bit, I’ll cover what originally made the Council decide that training Anakin wasn’t a great idea: In the scene where they test him--which they agree to, so they are genuinely considering it, they’re not rejecting Anakin out of hand for being too old, otherwise they wouldn’t go through the effort or take the test seriously, as we see them do--they are very neutral towards him and nobody says anything like Anakin is bad and terrible or whatever. Nobody says feelings are bad or anything of the sort: Yoda: Hmm... how feel you? Anakin: Cold, sir. Yoda: Afraid are you? Anakin: No, sir. Yoda: See through you, we can. Mace: Be mindful of your feelings. Ki-Adi: Your thoughts dwell on your mother. Anakin: I miss her. Yoda: Afraid to lose her... I think, hmm? Anakin: (a little angry) What's that got to do with anything? Yoda: Everything. Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering... I sense much fear in you.

Mace says “be mindful of your feelings”, which is pretty much the opposite of denying that they’re there--MINDFULNESS: “a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.” Also in this scene, Yoda’s words are important, because he’s connecting Anakin’s reactions to the path to the dark side and Yoda’s lent a whole lot of narrative weight in this scene because it’s almost word for word how George Lucas describes the fundamentals of the Force: “Once you become afraid that somebody’s going to take it away from you or you’re gonna lose it, then you start to become angry, especially if you’re losing it, and that anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Mostly on the part of the person who’s selfish, because you spend all your time being afraid of losing everything you’ve got instead of actually living.” --George Lucas This shows that we’re meant to take Yoda’s words with extra consideration, given that he is absolutely, completely correct about how the dark side works. He’s not saying that “you have one bad feeling and you’re a dark sider forever”, he’s saying that “once you start letting hate seize on your heart, once you start murdering people out of hate and anger, you gotta live with that shit for the rest of your life”, and he’s warning Anakin that being unable to face your fears means they’re going to grab hold of you. Jedi have negative feelings all the time, we see them in the movies! From “perfect” Jedi like Mace and Obi-Wan and Yoda! And nobody says that, oh, no, I had a feeling, that was bad. Instead, they acknowledge it and work through those feelings and let them go--I mean, even the test for their younglings on Ilum or the tests from the Lothal Jedi Temple are designed around this concept. Hell, even as young as the creche, the Jedi teach their children that the dark side is part of them and that again echoes how George Lucas says the Force works, giving weight to the narrative correctness of the Jedi’s practices: “Qui-Gon whispered, “The dark side?” He knew it was a thing all beings carried within them, a part of himself he would learn to guard against—the crèche masters had taught him all that. --Master & Apprentice “Only way to overcome the dark side is through discipline.” --George Lucas Anakin, in this scene, has trouble admitting to his fears even existing, he gets defensive and angry--and that’s completely understandable, nowhere in the scene do they say he’s bad for it or anything like that. But it does mean he’s likely a poor fit for the Jedi at this point and half-training someone is more dangerous than fully training them. George’s commentary on Anakin supports this as well, that he doesn’t really want to accept Jedi philosophy: “The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he can’t hold onto things, which is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn’t willing to accept emotionally and the reason that is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi. If he’d have been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he’d have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them. “But he has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation. And it feeds into fear of losing things, which feeds into greed, wanting to keep things, wanting to keep his possessions and things that he should be letting go of. His fear of losing her turns to anger at losing her, which ultimately turns to revenge in wiping out the village.“ –George Lucas, Attack of the Clones commentary And George ties Anakin’s attachment (which is tied to possessive, obsessive feelings, not synonymous with any kind of care) to his mother for why he becomes Darth Vader, that it’s on his character, not on the Jedi: “[Anakin] turns into Darth Vader because he gets attached to things. He can’t let go of his mother; he can’t let go of his girlfriend. He can’t let go of things. It makes you greedy. And when you’re greedy, you are on the path to the dark side, because you fear you’re going to lose things, that you’re not going to have the power you need.” –George Lucas, Time Magazine So, what changes? By the end of the movie, the Sith have undeniably returned, and they know that there’s still another one out there and they’re quite possibly going to be looking for a new apprentice:

Further, Obi-Wan says that he is going to train Anakin, whether he does so as a Jedi or whether he leaves with Anakin to go elsewhere. This is something that Jedi have done before and they’re pretty fine with it (Age of Republic: Count Dooku has Jak’zin telling Dooku that most Jedi think he’s gone off to create his own order of the Force and Dooku’s surprised by this, showing that the Jedi never lifted a finger to stop this or even scold him for it, they’re fine with it), but Obi-Wan has only just been Knighted, Anakin is so tremendously potentially powerful and doesn’t have a great mindset, so he really needs the community support that the Jedi provide. Even further, in the comic Age of the Republic: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda makes a point to talk to Obi-Wan and say: “If you’re going to commit to training Anakin, you must commit.”

“If train him you must, young Kenobi... train him well.” Even as far back as Empire Strikes Back, Yoda has been emphasizing that a Jedi must be serious about this, you can’t half-ass it, given the depths of their powers, the ability they have to hurt others, and how the Force is a constant echo in their heads and they have to be disciplined against it (another thing George Lucas specifically says is how the Force works). “A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.” So, basically, the Council initially doesn’t want to accept him because they think Anakin would struggle too much with their ways (and that’s not throwing shade on him, not everyone is meant to be a Jedi and that’s not a bad thing for either path! as well as they’re kinda right, given George’s commentary on Anakin) and they wouldn’t be a good fit for each other. But then the Sith are back, if it was the Apprentice who died, then the Master will be looking for a new one and Anakin would be far too tempting, so they have to protect this kid, despite that they don’t actually seem to believe he’s the Chosen One (or that, if he is, it matters), especially if Obi-Wan is going to train him either way, and so they say, “Yeah, we’ve decided to accept him for the Jedi path, because it’s more dangerous to half-ass someone’s training than it is to truly commit to them and do it properly.” And, honestly, given how genuinely liked Anakin seems to be by the other Jedi, it wasn’t about having a grudge against him or anything, it was that they weren’t sure he was a good fit for their ways, but once he was accepted, they truly committed to him!

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #yoda #mace windu #jedi order #jedi council #meta #long post

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kyberphilosopher · 4 years

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Hᴀɴᴅs

[Fluff Version]

With the loss of Anakin’s hand, someone has to help him out until he gets a replacement.

Word Count: 2201

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

The hand is the most frequently symbolized part of the human body. ... According to Aristotle, the hand is the "tool of tools." In general it is strength, power and protection. However, it can just as easily mean generosity, hospitality and stability; ‘lend a hand’.”

Anakin was the most powerful Jedi ever. There was no use in hiding it or sugarcoating it- every body in the Jedi Order completely understood this concept.

Anakin Skywalker was young, talented, and capable of many things. To anyone’s standards, he was charming and handsome. He always managed to find a way out of the most unpredictable and outrageous situations, even with all odds stacked against him. You could personally vouch for the latter. You had been at the battle of Geonosis, after all.

But something changed after that day. Once Anakin had lost his right hand from the forearm down, his confidence was shaken. He was going to get a mechanical one to replace what he had lost, but it would never be the same. It would never be organic or real, or able to get past security customs.

You and Anakin were never especially close or anything. A polite ‘hello’ here and there, light smiles, and warm energy was really all that was between the two of you. Despite this, you could easily sense the despair that loomed in the young man’s heart. He had missed the feeling of a tingling palm and numb fingers and picking at his nails. It was damaging his pride to be without something so unimpressive, and to have lost it in such a foolish way. To Anakin Skywalker, losing a hand meant losing his strength, his dignity, and his power.

And since it would take a few days to have the mechanical hand for him ready and running, it only made matters worse. Now, he had begun to feel embarrassed. The young man now walked the halls of the temple with his cloak sleeves draping over his wrists in an attempt to hide the one that was absent. His head hung low to avoid eye contact, and his padawan braid seemed to have much more weight than before.

While Obi-Wan surely would’ve done something if not for the oncoming war which demanded his attention, nobody else made an attempt to comfort the boy. You couldn’t explain why it made you feel so unhappy. Maybe it was because Anakin’s eyes seemed to lack the spark of charisma that they once had, or that you could see when he would go to reach for something and be confused when no fingers would stretch out.

“What are you looking at?” Anakin asked. Looking up from the text he was studying, he met your eyes with his full lips slightly upturned.

“Nothing,” you responded quickly. In truth, you had been too caught up in your thoughts to even realize that your orbs were glued to him. Despite looking back down to your book, your focus on the Skywalker did not waver.

You peeked back up at the young man curiously. For a single second, his blue eyes glimmered and a grin fell over his face. “Okay,” he said, shaking his head charmingly. Then he went back to studying something too.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The next day, you showed kindness in the form of impulse.

You saw Anakin in the library. His dark cloak was hanging off his shoulders loosely, his head back while he looked up at something. It wasn’t out of his reach by any means, but the way his right shoulder was positioned told you the whole story.

The man had forgotten about his predicament yet again, and went to reach for a text with his right hand.

You quickened your pace, drawing nearer and nearer to him. You hadn’t even really considered the meaning behind what you were about to do. It didn’t seem like such a big deal, but it was. Both you and Anakin would come to realize that.

“Here, let me get that for you,” you said. Standing on your tip-toes, your finger tips scraped against the book the man had gone to reach for. You were not nearly as tall as Anakin, but you managed to pull the text out from the bottom. Then you held it out for him with both hands.

Anakin’s eyes looked like stars. He could remember very few times when someone had shown him such a kindness, especially from someone he didn’t really know. Now, he found himself studying your eyes with his head dipped lightly, like a silent prayer that this wasn’t just a part of his imagination. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. His good hand reached up and took the text from your palms, and then sandwiched it between his forearm and his chest.

“No problem,” you told him sincerely.

You felt very close to him in that minute. Like you could feel his energy radiating off of him, and Anakin had suddenly become a magnet. Still, you pulled yourself away and proceeded to your table in the next section of the library, unaware that Anakin had his eyes trained on your back.

There were two more occasions that you helped the one handed man.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The second time was a few days after the first, this time in the training rooms.

Anakin had always been right handed, but now he couldn’t say that anymore. He only had one hand to ‘be’. It was exceptionally difficult and frustrating to deal with, and every time the man would drop his staff, a fit of anguish and shame would bubble inside his stomach. He would swallow in an attempt to keep it down, but it was ever-growing and unending. Anakin truly could not wait for his robotic arm to be ready for him so that this cycle could end.

The wooden staff clattered to the floor clumsily. His sweaty palm felt red from clutching it so hard, even though it hadn’t ended up mattering. He almost wanted to reach his right arm to his forehead in an attempt to wipe away the perspiration, but that wouldn’t have mattered either.

Anakin’s heart sunk to his stomach. He had done this to himself. Perhaps this was why Obi-Wan had not seen him in a while- he was ashamed of what his padawan had done. The thought made Anakin feel even more sick. His brows furrowed together in discomfort and a swirl of emotions.

The sound of a door closing pulled him out of his thoughts. Light briefly entered and left the room, and a form came through the way.

“Anakin...” you said softly. Standing still in your place, you observed the scene. The training staff Anakin had been working with was on the ground, and his left hand was balled into a tight and angry fist. When he turned to face you, he was heaving with exhaustion and anguish alike. Had he thrown the staff down in his anger? Had it fallen from his one good hand?

“If you’re going to make fun of me I’d advise you to leave,” said Anakin, his breathing heavy. He hadn’t meant to say that to you, but sometimes he just got so clouded with frustration and his own thoughts that he couldn’t stop his words from falling out like poison. Obi-Wan could testify to that.

“I’m not going to make fun of you,” you promised. Taking a few careful steps forward, you watched his jaw click. Anakin’s blue eyes fell back to the floor.

“Every time I try to use my hand, it fails me!” Anakin confessed angrily. “It’s supposed to serve me, and I can’t even control it! It’s all my fault.”

Your eyebrows knit themselves together. “It’s not your fault. Count Dooku was the one who did it.”

“But I’m the one who went after him!” Anakin snapped. “It was all my fault!”

Anakin’s breathing had become more rapid than before. You could feel his anger rising inside of him like a giant bubble, threatening to boil over and explode inside of him. It should’ve scared you, but you understood completely. It’s difficult to push emotions away, whether you’re a Jedi or not.

“Here,” you tell him. Another act of kindness without thinking about it.

You take the wooden pole from the ground and place it back in Anakin’s awaiting hand. He’s too tired to fight with you about it, instead looking around the room, silently seething. You come around behind the man, pressing your chest against his back. With your right hand, you grip the other side of the staff. Your fingers against Anakin’s, your breasts pressed up against him in a non sexual way- it was incredibly intimate. No- not intimate. This was loving, caring, a kind of love that would’ve been hard to define.

Looking down at the staff, Anakin could pretend that he had both his hands now. One of them was yours of course, but from this view, it looked like his own. Only smaller and daintier and not as calloused.

“Hold it steady,” you instructed softly. You pushed your arm forward slowly, the Skywalker following your lead. The jab that ensued was clean, and did not result in anything falling to the floor. “Got it?”

“I think so,” Anakin replied. His voice sounded so much calmer now.

With a faint smile, you let your hand go. Anakin stabbed the pole forward with his left hand again viciously. When it didn’t clamber out of his sweaty palm, his confidence grew too much. Like Icarus, he was flying too close to the sun and would crash into the ocean waves below. The next thrust he gave, the stick slipped from his hand clumsily, and his fingers weren’t coordinated enough to catch it.

The bubble of anger was growing again.

“It’s okay,” you soothed immediately. “Here, let’s try again.”

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The third time was the time that stood out to Anakin the most out of the three, and that truly meant something.

Outside the Jedi temple, Anakin could see the sun setting on the horizon. The skyscrapers of the city created shadows against the orange sky. Above, the only visible shades were those of rose pinks and lemon yellows. Beyond that, the night sky was fading into dark plums with little white freckles- stars he wanted to visit.

He’d be marrying Padme and losing his padawan braid soon. Things would be looking up. So why did he now feel so lost? Was it the prospect of the war in the next few years? Was it the differing weights in his shoulders? The frustration that Master Windu tended to force upon him? Whatever it was, he was filled with something somber and heavy.

You were the one who lifted that weight for him.

“How did I know I’d find you here?”

Anakin didn’t have to turn around to identify you.

“I come here often,” he says. If he had another five fingers, all ten of them would be twiddling together. “I enjoy being alone.”

You look him up and down. Even turned away from you, he seemed so much more solid than anyone else. You couldn’t explain why. “I have something for you.” Taking a step forward, you run a thumb against the black box in your hands.

Anakin turned around to look at you. You knew you had gotten his attention- who didn’t love presents? But against the setting sun of Coruscant and the religious steps of the temple, it seemed Anakin was the one you had stolen your gaze. Everything about the image in front of you was inexplicably perfect, and you found that you were filled with some type of feeling that you should not have.

“Can I see it?” the man asked. For the first time in a while, he smiled ever so slightly, but this time he meant it.

One of your hands reached around and lifted the lid of the box up. You took a few slow steps forward so that Anakin could see inside. Your head dipped slightly, curious to see his reaction.

Anakin was at a loss for words. Inside, fitted snug and secure, was a silver skeleton. Not an entire skeleton, of course, but a wrist and hand. The sun glinted off of it stunningly. Everything about it was perfect and unique. Even if Anakin wanted to cover it somehow, gloves would easily fit over it.

“What do you think?” you ask curiously.

“It’s amazing,” he said. His eyes ran over the mechanism greedily. “Will it work as well as a real one?”

“I’m sure there will be a learning period,” you answered honestly. “I’m sure you’ll get used to it though.”

Anakin looked up at you, charismatic smirk finally appearing on his features. “So how does it feel to hold my hand?” he wondered aloud. The comment made something stir in you, and although it was risky, it was also short lived. Anakin frowned and lowered his eyes sadly. “The monstrous one I mean.”

“I like it,” you told him. “I like your hands. The both of them.”

Anakin met your orbs then. You locked into a soft but intimate stare.

You couldn’t say how long you stood there. You didn’t even know if you could define what was happening. All you know is that the both of you stood on the steps of the temple, the sun setting behind your forms as the box stayed open between your fingers, containing Anakin’s new and beautiful hand.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Taglist: @omg-we-really-doo @anakinswhore

I hope this satisfies your need for fluff, even though you can see plenty of angst if you squint

Credit to my friend S for the prompt, she is amazing.

#Anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin imagines #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker x reader #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars fluff #anakin fluff #anakin skywalker fluff #tcw imagines #tcw x reader #x reader #oneshot #anakin oneshot #imagine #starwars #why

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