#the fuck IS pc' real identity exactly??

[dollya-robinprotector]

Average delulu at 1 a.m in the morning with @glutominnn

[rad-batson]

Billy Batson and Damian Wayne being weirdly good friends (ft. the occasional Jon Kent)

Billy befriends Damian after the JL learns his real identity. Batman approached him and told him they should meet since they’re the same age.

At first, it’s awkward because Damian isn’t interested in making friends, and Billy’s mad that Batman is essentially sending him to the kids' table. Until… 

Damian: “Why must my father insist that I socialize? I can handle myself!” Billy: “Thank you! I’ve been on my own since I was six. I don’t need an adult to tell me what to do.” Damian: “…I like you.” Billy: “Wanna spy on the Justice League?” Damian: “Yes.”

Batman immediately regrets his decision.

At first, the two don’t really talk outside of meetings or happenstance, but when they do, they’re like twins. They know exactly what the other is thinking at all times. (The adults are terrified.)

Both end up bonding over their upbringing, specifically the fact that they were abused/traumatized/malnourished for several years. That marks the point where they start talking regularly.

Damian nearly jumps out of his skin the first time Billy speaks to him in Arabic (courtesy of the Islamic Prophet, Solomon.) They now speak exclusively in Arabic when they gossip.

They will cut a bitch. Do not get on either’s bad side.

Every time one of them says something out of pocket, the other one high-fives them. Even Jon is concerned (and very jealous.)

Billy is required to attend the same school as the Teen Titans and YJ for a bit as a condition of staying in the JL so he and Damian end up taking a few classes together.

Billy “I have Zeus on speed dial” Batson and Damian “I got a PhD in The Classics at age six” Wayne proceed to roast their history professors in the back of the classroom for all of the misinformation.

Damian: “Okay so I really need a human skull, but you can’t ask why.” Billy: “As long as you also don’t ask why.” *pulls out several pristine human skulls from pocket dimension* “Take your pick.” Damian: “…this one.” Jon: “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

They’re both eerily good at schooling their emotions due to countless years of emotional abuse and neglect. If anything goes wrong during a mission, it’s like a switch is flipped. They are suddenly completely level-headed.

Damian gifts Billy a PC that he built himself so they can play games together without so much lag. (It’s literally just Minecraft on creative mode. They design a working amusement park together.)

Both have been permanently banned from all zoos on the eastern seaboard. Damian tried to “liberate” the ostriches, and Billy taught the gorillas swear words in sign language.

Everyone Else: “We need to find civilization on this desert planet we crashed landed on or we’ll starve.” Billy and Damian: “The human body can go ten days without food.” Everyone: “…Are you okay?” Billy and Damian: “Not important.”

Billy, Jon, Colin, and Damian have a group chat where they regularly place bets on dumb mishaps the adults get themselves into. The one rule is they can’t bet with cash. Thus they create a trading system made entirely of local snacks, Pokémon cards, supernatural knick-knacks, and dares.

[comical-icicle]

I like the concept of Goofball Island and I’m going to talk about it and give my own ideas. Kind of an AU? It’s just my version of the island. (Obvious spoilers mixed with headcanons):

Having the crystals, when blasted at someone, temporarily make them bland or goofy is a fun idea, and some actually wanting to be blandified or become goofy is interesting. And the side effects? Personality change during the whole thing, memory loss on both sides, etc. Since it’s unclear if Dr. Gramston blasted her own arm to make it goofy or not, I’m going to say she didn’t and add randomly switching from bland to goofy and vice versa with overexposure to the crystals onto the side effects list. So yeah, side effects have a lot of potential creativity.

There could also be a constant identity crisis and paranoia for the people of the island about what the other version of them have done while they blacked out (leading to severe insomnia cases and worsening the problems) could have made for some interesting conflict, especially for the pc where people can say that they swear they recognize the pc (from the fact that we could recognize the mayor despite being blandified and, of course, bosko), the pc obviously has no idea what they’re talking about, leading to the islanders second guessing their own clear memory further, apologizing and saying that they need sleep, and perhaps a small joke of pc being worried of meeting someone else that looks like them but is evil since pelican rock is mentioned in this island. Not sure about that or exactly how that would come into play.

Speaking of which, instead of having the pc ‘just’ arrive and not knowing what’s happening at all while their blimp is clearly destroyed (again) and the pc just… not commenting on that, it would start by the pc waking up feeling sore/ having a headache either on the street or sidewalk and then wondering what’s going on before the flashback of their blimp being blasted by something (the bland ray) and it doing something weird to their blimp as it begins to crash and they ‘pass out.’ Not sure about keeping the twist, but if it is revealed the pc was the villain for a minute, there has to be hints that this is not the first time they were on this island, hence why I want people recognizing them or the pc somehow knowing where to go despite not receiving any directions. Things like that, where you have the idea pc was blandified, but not entirely sure what their bland role was.

Tree man can stay as he is because I think it’s funny if he stayed exactly where he was as the bland pc was blasting city hall, having little, if any, reaction to it and just studying them, only for them to come in later with no memory of any of it and helping with an investigation and he takes the opportunity to fuck with them (hence his ominous message of questioning if the you that you can’t remember is the real you or not). So yeah, he would be one of the few people that truly knows anything going on.

I could think on it more and make it more coherent, but this is just me having the idea and needing to write it down before I forget.

[homeofjonicles]

The Jonicles - Entry 24

It is currently the 20th of August, 2022 on a Sunday at 11:43 am. I am currently blasting a sped up edit of Smile HD through my headphones in a fit of insanity because gosh darn, this slaps. It's also Day #93 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation.

As a lifelong gamer, I can easily declare that video games are an important part of my day-to-day life. I play them, I fixate on them, and I love them for what they are. I play games on all sorts of systems. Handhelds, consoles, PC, Hell, I'll even have a crack at a Tiger Electronic "game" just because I find the little things to unimagineably stupid. However, there is one avenue I often avoid when it comes to gaming, and that is mobile games. I don't have anything against the genre apart from money-laundering bore-fests that have microtransactions scattered around every nook and cranny of the screen. I have just never been interested in mobile games. When mobile games were at their peak in the early 2010s, I only distinctly remember playing one of them as a kid, that one being Angry Birds. I've never played anything like Subway Surfers, Cut The Rope or even something more recent like Pokemon GO. I did play Plants Vs. Zombies, but that was on PC...

That sentiment changes today, however, as I have discovered two interesting little mobile games, both being Garfield-themed, one of which you can't play anymore. Ladies, gents and folks of all identities alike, I want to talk about the games Garfield Rush and Garfield GO respectively and my perspective on them, because by God, it's Day #93, and Garfield is slowly taking over more an more of my mannerisms each day that goes by. Jon help me.

Garfield Rush is a mobile game released on the 6th of November, 2018 by a developer known as Ivy, who has made other stunning gems such as "Cat Runner: Decorate Home", "Subway Princess Runner" and "Street Rush - Running Game" along with two other Tetris reskins that look literally exactly the same as each other. Riveting. Honestly, I'm surprised that they even have an officially liscensed Garfield game considering they have like three other Subway Surfers ripoffs, but hey, life is crazy, man.

Oh, speaking of Subway Surfers, you know how I mentioned two paragraphs ago that I have never played Subway Surfers? Well, consider me redeemed of (most of) my sins, because Garfield Rush is literally just Subway Surfers, and I have no fucking idea why. Listen, when I discovered Garfield Kart for the first time, I was absolutely bamboozled, and I think I lost about 20 sanity. Garfield, at least the Garfield I know, has always been something simple, just a comic about a man and his cat living life, so you'd have to imagine that 11 year old me finding out about Garfield Kart must have broken me. It was a mix of hilarity and confusion. Why, out of all the franchises, did they make a Garfield kart racer game!? It just didn't make sense. So, when I discovered that Garfield Rush is a thing that exists in the real world and that I can't do anything about it, I was immediately hooked. I had to play it... And play it I did.

I have played this game for way too fucking long. I have played it for two hours too long. And you know what? It was decent, good even. In the paraphrased words of Jon Arbuckle himself, "Today I played Garfield Rush... And I... *Sniff* enjoyed it!". I have never played a game of Subway Surfers in my life, but with the introduction of Garfield into the mix, I can safely say that this is my favourite Subway Surfers game ever. It was surprisingly good. But it feels so... wrong to see Garfield there.

You see, over the years, Garfield has expanded from just a small comic strip named 'Jon' in the Pendleton Times local newspaper to a multi-million dollar phenomenon. Garfield has gone from just a fat cat who loves food and lazing around into a bizzare shapeshifting charicature. And I mean that literally. If you put Garfield in a karting game 40 years ago, they'd not only be astonished at the technology at hand, but I don't think it would work. 40 years ago, Garfield just wasn't the thing he is today. It would be really weird. But now it works... Well, it doesn't, but it works enough. What I mean is that Garfield has become so well-known and so malleable that you could literally put him in anything, be it a kart racer or a bizarre mobile game clone. You can even literally fucking shift him into an oddly terrifying couch and it would work. It would still work. And that is both a hilarious and sad thing.

If me actually enjoying this Subway Surfers clone isn't sad enough, I find Garfield malleability to be sad in the way that I just shake my head and say "Look at how they've massacred my boy". Garfield was never supposed to have this much power, he was just a house cat living life and thinking up witty phrases to himself, he was just a little baby cat, but now, he's something close to a God. Garfield is immortal, Garfield is eternal, Garfield is forever, and I don't know if I like that or not. On one hand, I'm happy that future generations will be exposed to the loveliness of Jon and his two loveable little boys, but on the other, I'm terrified of what Garfield has become and will become. He's like a piece of clay except that clay is fat and orange and has two almost seductive looking egg-shaped eyes that always pretrude out of whatever he is made into, and I have to ask the question: Have we gone too far..? Have we gone too far that I can easily play a Garfield Subway Surfers clone and enjoy it? Not think it's too weird? That it just exists? I think so, but in saying that, despite all the repetitive craziness Garfield has transformed into, at least it spawned these hilarious spelling mistakes in its game images and description.

"Run With The Garfield" THE Garfield himself. Not that Garfield, not this Garfield, THE Garfield. And then there's "Challenge Funny Level" which sounds like something straight out of a Chinese bootleg toy. But then there's my absolute favourite, which is "Explore Stunning Mine Hole". If you're anything like me, I think it's pretty obvious as to why that one's really funny.

And it gets better, the first line of the description goes as follows: "Garfield Rush is an endless running mobile game where the Player [sic] is Garfield, Odie or Nemo.". NEMO. Just so you know, that is supposed to be Nermal, but for a reason that I can assume is probably just a mistranslation, he is now Nemo. Kinda makes me wish his name was actually Nemo in game. If you start seeing any cursed Nermal fish art on my blog, you'll know why. god this is like turnip jon all over again

Oh yeah! And speaking of Jon, you unfortunately can't play as him, whivh really sucks, as I'd love to watch my funny little cartoonist man leap over trains and cars like the madman he is. Same with Arlene too, who is on the title screen flying a plane, but isn't actually in the game, weirdly enough... I get that they aren't as marketable, but still! It would be awesome if I could play as them...

Now, you may be thinking "How could you make yourself a slave to the mobile gaming industry!! You betrayed us!! Fake gamer!!!!!", please take solice in the fact that first of all, I haven't spent a cent on Garfield Rush and that second of all, the next game I'm going to talk about isn't even playable anymore.

Yup, we've got a case of unplayable media on our hands. Garfield Go was an augmented reality game published by Freeze Tag, and according to IGN, this beast was unleashed on the world on the 13th of June, 2017. Despite what I just said earlier about the thing that Garfield is so malleable that you can take him and put him in anything and it would work, that apparently didn't ring true for this game, this weird, clunky looking Pokemon Go ripoff. And there's not a lot of info about it either...

From what little screenshots I can dig up, the game was... Literally just Pokemon Go but shittier and Garfield is there. Right off the bat, Garfield appears from the void and into the apace of wherever you happen to be playing this and tells you to "Fuck the food into the bowl to feed me!" which is...

Wait, I'm getting a message, hold on... Okay, so I've just been informed that no, Garfield is in fact not telling you to "fuck the food" into the bowl, but instead to flick the food into the bowl to feed him. The L and I in flick were just too close to each other that my brain mashed them together, I suppose. Anyway, one interesting thing I should note is that the icon that appears when you flick the food has a familiar light blue shirt sleeve which to me, indicates that you do, in fact, canonically play as Jon in this game, so if Garfield Go has anything going for it, it's that at least you're playing as the best boy, which is always wonderful.

In terms of gameplay, it's... really not interesting at all. You just fuck-- sorry, flick food into Garfield's bowl and he'll eat it, you can walk around for a bit and find bits of comic strips and give him a hat, it's really not that interesting. There's this article on Vice by someone who documented their experience playing this game for a day, and they didn't have the best time doing so. They detailed the fact that the "Bistros" (basically Pokemon Gyms) were located at weird places, one of them literally having a sign labled "Danger - Hard Hat Area". Damn, Garf out here trynna kill people. Anyway, you literally just take this fat ass cat around just to give him food, maybe purchase a few microtransactions (why would you though), and that's it.

What I find funny though is that there's a bit of a joke to be had about the implication that you play as Jon, and all you do is just move Garf around to give him shit like pizza and lasagna. The perfect meta commentary on the struggles of one Jon Arbuckle in his daily life caring for Garf, he seriously deserves more recognition for having to keep Garfield under control for over 40 years, poor guy... It's a real shame I never got to play this before it dipped, because even though it looks and is terrible, at the end of the day, I'm a Garfield fan, and I have an interest in everything relating to this funky little cat and his funky not-so-little owner. I suspect this game was removed either because it predictably never made much money or the liscensing for it eventually dropped and they had to remove it. Welp... at least we have a case of lost media to find!

Anyways, less serious entry today. Just wanted to talk about some funny Garfield games that I found interesting. If you don't mind, I'm now going to proceed to play Garfield Rush for another three hours because I'm slowly losing control of my life. Take care everyone :)

Last edited at 4:19 pm. Run With The Garfield, or you will Run From The Garfield.

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 20th of August, 2022 at 4:25 pm.

[pocketbelt]

Spark the Electric Jester 2 (PC)

The titular character doesn't appear at all in this game, funnily enough. This post is a little long so I'm sticking a read more in

The leap to drawing from 3D Sonics is pretty clear, and it at once does a real good job of it, establishing its own identity, and establishing why Sonic Team make their games the way they do

Fark is a lot more freeform and "loose" than Sonic is and after a point, levels start removing the guard rails from the long running tracks and loop-de-loops and having a lot more free aerial space. This makes Fark's top speeds feel way faster, but that top speed becomes very tricky to keep hold of and sometimes just isn't, you can't turn for shit for instance at top speed.

At the same time, this makes gliding over levels, making mad aerial leaps to small ledges and platforms or homing to enemies and so on feel even better, and blitzing a level feels immaculate, it's the thing I love the boost Sonics for. You have way more air control and better turning than in Sonic to accommodate it, so it just flows so well.

But, doing so requires you to read the level real quick as you tear through it, it requires intuition for how to jump and how you control well beyond what the target audience for Sonic games is capable of, never mind incompetent adults like game journalists, so Sonic locks you in more and holds the reins tighter. You can really easily just run off ledges uncontrollably in Spark 2, which does make threading the needle feel immaculate but when you don't it can feel like bullshit

Also levels are fairly elaborate with multiple paths, marked "Early Exits" for faster clear times hidden in places, and enemies have health bars and there's a very simplistic action game-ish combat system at hand as well, but outside of the two or three forced fights in the levels, you can and will ignore basically all of it because it's infinitely slower and just plain sillier to. It makes the game short and feels like you're speedrunning or skipping it when you're just chasing the speed and playing it as you'd want to play a 3D Sonic.

The later levels are fucking wild, with Level 13 being a key highlight:

It's the Egg Fleet but in space, with paths like the electric light parade fleet levels in Sonic Colours but you're not taped into a rigid three-rail path while the game plays gorgeous displays at you, you're fully free-form tearing across this. The paths (which go through those hoops) only form in as you draw near, so despite how it looks, I'm not dying here, I'm leaping from part of the path in the bottom right high into the air to yeet myself onto the one centre-bottom of the screen.

I can't deny, it's really close to exactly what I want Sonic to be at its best, at its theoretical apex, it's somewhere between this and Unleashed and maybe Frontiers, some theoretical midpoint between them.

Also the bosses are largely really simple button mash affairs where you smack your generous parry shield button when they flash their telegraphs. Some moves are really annoying, especially the ones that just flash the screen white to disguise the attack (really unwise even if the game would be difficult for epileptic people to deal with otherwise anyway), but they're all like 1 minute long at worst anyway, even with their multiple phases. The final boss is no different but he has the sauce, and the context and cutscenes during and after that fight go real hard.

Spark 2 is remarkably fucking good, I highly recommend if you can tolerate and tame the much looser, freeform state of it

[baekhvuns]

Yeah I'm grocery shopping and almost doing the choreography lsususidhisjs embarrassing luv.

I think perhaps kpop stans hate it because at some point almost everyone was doing tropical house? Now many fans hate on EDM, girl crush, 80s etc. But I like some summer tropical house bops!Tbh when I saw Hwa I thought he would be rather serious, then he turned out shy THEN THRUSTED IN MY FACE?! I was so baffled 🥴

I say if you wanna throw insults be creative and funny about it, most antis are either vile or plainly boring 🥱

Yes they absolutely try to fit the mains into the basic personas, but they often turn out irrelevant to most people and they can't even be relatable. The fake badass ones are embarrassing too it's true absolutely pick mes and we don't stan that 🤚🏻

When may I expect you? I will have to lock my merch first jsydyqhshshsja, but I also need to ask tiny if she's taking visitors now, girl is busy hiding under the bed lol

Winter in most places looks like shit LITERALLY so much mud when it rains and snows and for what? And you can see dogs (or perhaps human) piss traces on the snow??? Fucking gross, some dog owners also think "oh there's snow, no need to clean the shit" 🔫🔫🔫

Wait, bestie that broadcast photocard is the fanmade one I ordered from Etsy, I got all of them because no one would sell broadcast pcs for that cheap, now they're out of stock so I'm glad I did 😭 that seller had many different "broadcast" sets and I got them all. But they look so real like I said, almost identical to the actual ones! https://imgur.com/a/YKpHXvK

I'm gonna make an account solely dedicated to Hwa's legs and what about it 🤗

Ok I'm gonna check that manhwa out, but I need to finally catch up on the ones I started, idk why it's so hard for me recently

Hsusyehsha that Jackson party question, NCT's lyrics traumatised me, thanxx. I got MR. GENTLEMAN and it's a photo of my gentle sexy man Joshua lolol this is not me at all, but cute. And you?

Btw, my waiting fic list includes: nerd Hwa, milf reader and of course villain reader. Am I missing anything? Probably lolol. So we spoke about reversed AU like bad girl Y/N x good boy Hwa, but what about bad girl Y/N x bad boy Hwa 🤯 I don't really see it too often. I know the relationship can easily become toxic I read one fic that was absolutely excellent at it, two rich kids acting tough and another that was rather heartbreaking because both characters struggled with life. But I think this has a great potential, just saaaayyyyyyin

THE FIRST PHOTO AAAAAAA HE'S A SMALL BOY A TINY BOOOOOOOOOOY, the second one let's not talk about https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1531305919627288577?t=9MjWzWpcyOxNcdO32YOVBw&s=19 - DV 💖

helLo hello!!!

Yeah I'm grocery shopping and almost doing the choreography lsususidhisjs embarrassing luv.

FBWKDHWK BULNORIYA IN THE GROCERY STORE 😭😭😭

I think perhaps kpop stans hate it because at some point almost everyone was doing tropical house? Now many fans hate on EDM, girl crush, 80s etc. But I like some summer tropical house bops!Tbh when I saw Hwa I thought he would be rather serious, then he turned out shy THEN THRUSTED IN MY FACE?! I was so baffled 🥴

i think most hate ur bc of kard 💀💀 bc their title tracks were consistently the exact same and the way ppl were going @ them,,, YEAAH MANY HATE EDM??? but its literally so good,, ppl have very specific taste but they say they have a diverse taste at the same time have me 🔫🔫 BRKWHDKWFHWK THRUSTED IN MY FACE LMFAOOOOTBWKFHEK its exactly how every shinestar was born 😭😭😭

I say if you wanna throw insults be creative and funny about it, most antis are either vile or plainly boring 🥱

NO FRRRR CREATIVE INSULTS ARE IMPRESSIVE I WONT EVEN BE MAD ANYMORE IF BE CLAPPING

Yes they absolutely try to fit the mains into the basic personas, but they often turn out irrelevant to most people and they can't even be relatable. The fake badass ones are embarrassing too it's true absolutely pick mes and we don't stan that 🤚🏻

yEAAAH the hit or miss formula is always most certainly a miss 😭😭 NO BC THE FAKE BADASS CONSISTS OFF swearing unnecessarily, smoking heavily, dressing in black fits bc “dark like my soul” or the “comebacks” they have to certain insults is so embarrassingfbwkfhdk

When may I expect you? I will have to lock my merch first jsydyqhshshsja, but I also need to ask tiny if she's taking visitors now, girl is busy hiding under the bed lol

EXPECT ME IN TWO DAYS I WILL HUNT THE PC COLLECTION,,, omg 😭😭😭 miss tiny pls gimme an appointment to behold ur presence 😭😭😭🤲🏼

Winter in most places looks like shit LITERALLY so much mud when it rains and snows and for what? And you can see dogs (or perhaps human) piss traces on the snow??? Fucking gross, some dog owners also think "oh there's snow, no need to clean the shit" 🔫🔫🔫

NO BC SO MF TRUE??? THE PEE STAINS AND THE MUDDY SLUSHY BLACK ICE SNOW GIVES ME THE CREEPS IVE FELL DOWN SO MANY TIMES I HATE IT,,, the pee stains, shit stains and the garbage they leave under the snow

Wait, bestie that broadcast photocard is the fanmade one I ordered from Etsy, I got all of them because no one would sell broadcast pcs for that cheap, now they're out of stock so I'm glad I did 😭 that seller had many different "broadcast" sets and I got them all. But they look so real like I said, almost identical to the actual ones! https://imgur.com/a/YKpHXvK

IS IT FJWKFJKWFHLW SCREAMING THEY LOOK SO REAL AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS POB’S NFBWM NO BC if the fake ones look exactly like the real,,, then why spend 200$+ 👁👄👁🤚🏼

I'm gonna make an account solely dedicated to Hwa's legs and what about it 🤗

FBWKDHWK @ ME IN EVERY SINGLE POST

Ok I'm gonna check that manhwa out, but I need to finally catch up on the ones I started, idk why it's so hard for me recently

i have been avoiding the webtoon app like a plague i have not looked at it its just so much work jvbwkfhwk

Hsusyehsha that Jackson party question, NCT's lyrics traumatised me, thanxx. I got MR. GENTLEMAN and it's a photo of my gentle sexy man Joshua lolol this is not me at all, but cute. And you?

LMFAOOOO THWMHD THE QUESTIONS WERE SO FUNNY AND THE OPTIONS WERE EVEN FUNNIER 😭😭😭 MR GENTLEMAN OKAY HELLO HELLO 🤚🏼🤚🏼

Btw, my waiting fic list includes: nerd Hwa, milf reader and of course villain reader. Am I missing anything? Probably lolol. So we spoke about reversed AU like bad girl Y/N x good boy Hwa, but what about bad girl Y/N x bad boy Hwa 🤯 I don't really see it too often. I know the relationship can easily become toxic I read one fic that was absolutely excellent at it, two rich kids acting tough and another that was rather heartbreaking because both characters struggled with life. But I think this has a great potential, just saaaayyyyyyin

IM RLY ROOTING FOR THAT VILLAIN READER SO BAD !!! also the wedding etl !!! i am absolutely so in love with the idea of it <3 also the bridgerton san + mingi’s rewrite 😭😭 OLAY HELLO AYO AYO AYO I LIKE THAT MUCH BETTER BAD BOY YN X BAD BOY HWA but its def bard to come up with that plot,,, bc they can either be like rivals or enemies or like secret alliances or like secret relationships??? it’ll def be tough to come up with a plot,,, OH GOD THAT FIC SOUNDS SO GOOD PLS DO SEND IT MY WAY

THE FIRST PHOTO AAAAAAA HE'S A SMALL BOY A TINY BOOOOOOOOOOY, the second one let's not talk about https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1531305919627288577?t=9MjWzWpcyOxNcdO32YOVBw&s=19 - DV 💖

FHWMDJWKFHWK TINY BOYYY IDK WHY I JUST SEE U YELLING IT IN THE GROCERY STORE 😭😭😭😭

the way i inhaled at that photo set. do not approach me. i am. livid. hOW DARE U.

yes

ANON IM YELLING IM YELLING IM YELLING

[shootingstarwritings]

Hans Off the Computer!

The human mind, when boiled down to its most fundamental building blocks, was simply a system of ON and OFF switches. In that sense, it is functionally identical to that of a computer’s mainframe. When putting both of those thoughts together, the idea that the human brain can be completely digitized and transferred through networks isn’t too far-fetched an idea.

At the very least, that was the thought of Hans Hopper, a freelance software engineer. Currently, he was working at a computer repair shop to get some extra money and to kill time between projects—including his own.

“It could be possible,” he voiced his dreams to his boss, Carl, as they took a look at some guy’s gaming PC. The components were state of the art, some not even out in the market yet. Just the graphic card and motherboard made Hans drool at the sight. Streamers get all the luck, he thought. The owner, some small-name star with a big ego, took poor care of his machine, leading to landing on Carl's shop.

“Y’know, Hopper,” Carl began as he cleaned some dust off of the PC’s parts, “I think if you put that head of yours outta the clouds and into reality with the rest o’ us, you’d really take off. Least you wouldn’t be stuck in this freelancing business and get a real job like some o’ your peers.”

“And be like those corporate suck-ups?” Hans snorted. “As if. I’m not gonna be another cog in the machine. Now being in a machine." He grinned, already fantasizing about the things he'd do if he could ditch his flawed, physical form for a future full of infinite potential inside of a network. "That's what I'm after."

“Least those corporate suck-ups can afford their own places,” Carl sighed. “You’re still living with roommates at, what, 30?”

“...27, actually.”

Grinning, Carl said, “And there’s my point. At your age, Hans, I--” he paused as his phone began to ring with an irritatingly catchy tune. “Aw, shit. Lost track of time.” Before Carl ducked to the back of the store and towards the hall that led to his home, he glanced back and said, “Can you wrap up here and close the store, Hans?”

“You got it, boss," Hans said, waving him off. "Take care." Carl left without an answer, and Hans found himself alone with a PC he could only dream of. "Well well," he said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a flash drive. "Looks like it's just you and me from now on. Let's see if what's under the hood's enough to get my program running."

While Carl had a point that Hans' dream was beyond the capacity of current human technology, the world of sci-fi and fantasy lacked such rules. "Just like that ol' title," he muttered to himself as he inserted the flash drive into a USB drive. "A machine can't act like a human mind, but it can calculate runes with no trouble. Sometimes when we can’t use tech to get somewhere, we gotta use shortcuts.”

This PC was his best chance to experiment on his little program to see if it worked. After checking to make sure the drives were all up to date and the whole thing was running smoothly, Hans executed his program. A few keystrokes later, a magic circle formed on the screen. “Let’s gooo—WOAH!”

Although Hans should have figured that the ritual wouldn’t be painless, having his physical form ripped apart and turned into data was nothing short of excruciating. Reforming himself later wouldn’t be any less unpleasant, but he could never turn down the chance to become data and revolutionize the field of… magic? Science? Magitek?

He witnessed his fingers slowly fade as if turning into dust and flow like a stream of water into the screen. As the entirety of his arms completely disappeared, sprites that resembled arms appeared on the screen. "L-Least it works?" Hans nervously said as more and more of his body faded away.

Eventually, Hans' ability to feel, taste, hear, and see waned as his body fully waxed into the computer. The sensation… was nothing. There were no nerves or sensors to feel with, but he could understand the data that his mind had access to. Overwhelming, yet the sensation felt like precious wine on his lips.

The network… Though small, Hans was amazed at how he could travel through the network of the shop—including Carl’s personal PC.

“No, no,” Hans realized he could hear. He saw Carl through the uncovered camera and heard him through a microphone that remained plugged in. For a tech-savvy guy, Carl was real lenient in terms of privacy. "C'mon, Elise, be reasonable here. We got a meeting with the divorce lawyer tomorrow. Can’t you have your little wine party another day?” Carl rolled his eyes as he pocketed his phone. “Fuckin’ bitch. Can’t give me a break.”

And now, as Carl sat down to work on his computer, Hans realized he could attempt the other upside of the ritual. With his mind now data, he could reach out and override the "data" that was another's consciousness.

“What the hell am I supposed to—MMGPHF!”

It wasn’t the most graceful exit, but Hans couldn’t deny the results. Black tendrils—an unnatural amalgamation of data and flesh flew from the screen and landed on Carl’s face, causing him to fly back a few inches. His body twitched and convulsed, back forming a C,  as Hans’ essence flowed into each of Carl’s orifices. Carl’s feet kicked at the ground, fingers gripping his chair’s armrests, as Hans’ essence attacked and invaded his brain.

“A-Ah, ahhh.” Carl helplessly moaned as Hans override any freedom and control over his body. After a few painful seconds with his back arched and his toes curling as the sensation of being overtaken overwhelmed him, Hans awoke in his boss’ body.

“Well, well,” said Hans, feeling his new arms. “Not exactly my first choice for a body, but not a bad test drive.” He stretched in the comfortable office chair, a gift from another customer. “Man, Carl, for an old guy you don’t feel half-bad.” Now realizing that he was alone, a mischievous thought crossed Hans’ mind. “Well, got some time to keep doing some more research on my little program. Maybe I can find a way to hack into other networks." Grinning to himself, he stood up and slowly stripped out of Carl's clothes. First, the shirt came off as the nipples hardened in the cool air, then the shoes were chucked to the side to allow his feet to breathe. The pants came off next, and finally, the underwear flew across the room as Hans embraced his newfound potential—and his borrowed pole.

“Who knew old farts like you still had crazy stamina like this!” Hans cried out, furiously and desperately thrusting into his grip as he jacked off his boss’ body. “F-Fuck! Fuuuuuck!” Hans let out a roar as he came all over his boss’ keyboard. “W-Woah. Gonna have to clean that up later. Dunno where he keeps his tissues, but...” Hans paused and grinned once more. This wasn’t his body, so what the hell? He bent down and began to lick the keys clean, making sure to savor his boss’ taste with each slurp.

The next day, he sat in his boss' room, giving another client's laptop a check-up. It was a Sunday and so the shop was closed, but Hans' mind was far too wired to relax by simply lying around the place. No, tinkering around and keeping his hands busy was how he would wind down.

Although, Hans remained without any clothes. The feeling of the chair against his naked skin was intoxicating. Never in his life had Hans worked in the nude, but he might have to start doing it more often as he tried on new skins. For now, though, might as well enjoy Carl’s life for a few more hours before trying on someone new.

Hans’ roommates were certainly appealing prospects.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Damn Enji and Kotaro are literally the worst fathers

Hmm, the worst father is AFO.

Kotaro has some trauma that doesn't excuse him, but it explains some things.

Enji at some level at least was trying to reach something good? And he is right now in some arc of redemption.

But AFO is just– I still don't know how people look at what AFO did to Tomura and doesn't feel at least a little sympathy. It personally makes me physically sick to think about AFO sometimes. Let's review the reasons why AFO deserves the award for worst parental figure :

All his love was replaced with obsession. A need to control people at any minute, a need to know everything about them, to make them act like he wants to.

He was heavily obsessed with his younger brother. We all know how the first user ended. He's still obsessed over him.

AFO has a hunger for power and possessions... And in this one I mean PHYSICAL possessions even. This is the stuff horror stories are filled with.

We don't know if AFO knew about who Tenko was before or after he took him in from the streets. We don't know if he tracked the Shimuras, we don't know how exactly everything turned out so perfectly for him.

His took his obsession with his younger brother and the OFA users to Tenko. It was never about the kid, never about the human. Tenko has never been better than another body to be controlled like any nomu. The modificationa Tenko needed where not physical, no, but psychological.

Grooming, gaslightning, psychological abuse...

He made a five years old use the dead hands of his family all over his body and watched as the kid threw up from the extreme distress he was under.

He told a five years old he should never heal. I repeat, he took an already abused kid who had already many reasons to hurt and suffer that healing was bad and raging was the solution. He wanted Tenko to stay forever trapped in the bleeding.

He commanded the kid to go and kill people. "Tenko said he wanted to kill them" yes, kids say that type of stuff, they are kids that are supposed to be guided and taught. And AFO did it in the worst way possible.

He knew Tenko had no memories, he was like a blank canvas filled with hurt and rage– and guilt. What AFO did was making Tenko like him a little, people without remorse that would destroy the world for their twisted version of love.

Have you ever heard of those stories where people spend their whole lives locked in a basement because their abusive father make them do it so? Tomura was isolated from society. The only three figures in his life were a doctor who wanted to experiment with him, a half zombie who had strict orders and the demon who trapped him. No other kids to play with and learn how to act in society, for example. He had no friends, he couldn't go out that much, he got a pc and videogames and probably lessons but if we compare the room AFO gives Tenko in the beginning and Tomura's room in the bar, it's probably the same. All his life lived between four walls. Alone. Isolated. With the constant pain and rage and feeling you need to destroy.

If you think quarantine was hard, imagine this.

We also know Tomura was lacking self care when we first met him on the manga. I'm talking about some levels of hygiene and basic routines. We know Tomura is used to not sleeping in days, eating so little, and other things that shouldn't be normal at all, unless people are being negligent with you or you're living in a war or something.

Or– you're poor. This fucks me up each time because there's no way AFO is poor. And yet we've seen Tomura's situation.

Also imagine being around people who only tells you "do it for him, do this to please him, be like him, follow his lead, become him, listen to him". What type of brainwashing is that.

I still hold that Tomura's itching comes from emotional and psychological stress. And since AFO told him to never heal, you can imagine why his scars looked so bad and full of blood in the beginning of the manga.

Tomura didn't have a normal childhood or teenage years. He lost both to the trauma. What Tomura likes to do beside destroying? Playing video games, and because that was the only possible scape he had. Being on the internet lying about his identity and his life.

Note how we don't have a good memory of Tomura in those years. It's always AFO rescuing him. The last real good memory of Tomura was about Hana, his sister, and Nao, his mother, both being gentle to him.

He started really living with the League. " Why does he care about them ", even when he was a child, we have no records of Tenko having close friends. The closest thing was Hana, his sister, and Mon-chan, his dog. The League are the first real friends he ever had. Of course he doesn't know how to be a friend at first, he has never seen people around his age so close to him in at least 15 years.

And note how AFO doesn't care about them either. He sees everyone as toys to play with. He never tries to protect Tomura's friends.

AFO doesn't even see Tomura as a person, like I said before, because he saw Tomura as a body he could later posses to keep existing. A recipient, a vessel, whatever you want to call it. He only cares about Tomura's feeling because he need his hatred to take OFA.

We saw that when Deku started hurting himself from using too much his quirk, everyone worried. Deku was the only who worried about Tomura when the AFO quirk started destroying him.

AFO practically killed Tomura by relegating his consciousness to the bottom of his mind, taking over the body. Yeah sure, Kotaro tried to kill Tenko and Enji is responsible for Touya's dead, but nothing as brutal as this.

AFO gave his own last name to Tomura not as a parent-son link, but to mark that body as his.

He gave an identity to Tomura to mark him as he possession. He is so proud of that.

Besides, Tomura looks a lot like AFO's younger brother and Nana Shimura, two of the people AFO obsessed with, a lot. He also was compared before to All Might, when he was Tenko and share many similarities with Deku. Basically he sees in Tomura everything he wants to posses and destroy.

He used Tomura in almost every way.

He destroyed Tomura in almost every way.

And do it because he wanted to do it, not for some type of justice or self-righteousness or twisted parental feelings.

He enjoys destroying Tomura, he wanted to destroy Tomura, to break him.

No other character should be compared to AFO. Even Kotaro and Enji, that would be a grave mistake. At least Enji and Kotaro were humans, complex and abusive humans, but AFO is something straight out of a nightmare.

Yes, he's definitely the worst parental figure of bnha / mha.

[supercantaloupe]

okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.

i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.

that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.

i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.

what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.

now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.

but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.

but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.

and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.

there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.

and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.

i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.

listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.

[sorio99]

Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

[bitch-in-a-bag]

can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

[adultswim2021]

Captain Sturdy: The Originals | July 6, 2003 - 11:30 PM | Special

The least-thought-about Adult Swim special of all time, maybe. Captain Sturdy actually began life as a Cartoon Network What-A-Cartoon. That episode is titled “Back in Action” and this is a direct follow-up, more-or-less. It truly is a second attempt at a pilot as the drawing style and the characters have been tweaked slightly, but it does show a progression in the story of Captain Sturdy. In the first installment, his pension check stops showing up after his super-hero union raises the retirement age so they can pilfer the pension fund and build a new high-tech super-hero hang-out building. This context actually does enhance this installment, which just starts with the elderly Captain Sturdy just throwing himself into superheroics. One might assume he’d just never retired.

I’m not a huge fan of the animation style which was more-or-less the house style of most Cartoon Network originals, but I do think it can be done well. Really, it’s not my intention to trash that Cartoon Network style. Despite not being my favorite, there are still shows and directors and moments that make use of it well. You know what I mean? That late-90s/early-2000s intentionally-cheap-but-hopefully-still-beautiful-and-stylistic kinda thing they did that *sorta* harkens back to the Hanna Barbera cartoons of a bygone era but, you know, animated even more cheaply and usually on computers? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I thought the first short was kinda ugly but had some very specific stylistic choices that I respected. There are individual shots that are pretty impressive. For example, that first short ends with an evil robot destructo-beam satellite that looks like something out of Samurai Jack. The humor is okay for a kids show, and honestly that’s about all I can say. The second pilot was billed as a sincere attempt to rejigger the show for an adult audience but there’s not much difference between either version. This short ends kinda anti-climatically, with them fighting with an equally elderly villain in his garage mostly over a misunderstanding. This show is almost like if Venture Bros. didn’t improve after the pilot. In fact, the first pilot gets into a lot of the bureaucratic nonsense that Venture Bros. eventually gets into with the Guild of Calamitous Intent stuff. If I’m being honest, that’s not my favorite stuff in Venture Bros., either.

The most notable exclusion between the first and second pilot is a PC-MAN character, who wimpily scolds his more fascistic colleagues for being insensitive. In 2021 my inner-edgelord is definitely unironically fed up with political correctness, sure, but this kind of satire seems like the domain of unfunny garbage makers like The Babylon Bee. I’m not even sure if I can recall how fresh this would’ve seemed in 2000. Most modern, right-leaning jokes about woke culture look terrible when you compare it to stuff like PC-Man; they are PRACTICALLY EXACTLY THE SAME EXACT JOKES. Personally, I don’t wanna make hating politically correct retards my whole identity. Just learn how to steal the blackface episodes of your favorite shows, put them on a Plex server and shut the fuck up about it.

MAIL BAG

Continuing a thread from last night’s big bad mail bag:

Close! But it's SEA not See. Here's question 2: The color of Master Shake's milkshake is?

It’s like, bad. I remember it being a bad color. What do I win

Try this number 1-800-CALL-A-HOE, If you hear yourself on the other line, then you are da hoe.

Why did you send this twice! I’m starting to think that YOU are the one who is... the hoe

I have some genuine dirt on a certain adult swim personality but I don't feel comfortable sharing except through a code: "68 61 62 65 75 73 20 63 6f 72 70 75 73 20 68 61 72 76 65 79 20 61 74 74 6f 72 6e 65 79 0a" copy that code into a Hex To ASCII Text generator and find out and tell me if you think it's true.

YOU PISS ME OFF! STOP IT! nobody follow this guy’s instructions (You can tell it’s a GUY too no WOMAN would ever stoop to such lows). You make me sick. That’s all there is too it, okay?

What classic era Cartoon Network programs did you like? I liked Johnny Bravo and Dexter but never watched Cow and Chicken. Courage and Ed, Edd, and Eddy were past my "cartoon for kids" prime. You?

You know, I never FULLY got into those shows, I’ll be honest. I was a casual liker of Dexter and Powerpuff Girls and I mostly avoided Bravo but it could be great on occasion. I didn’t get Cartoon Network until real late so before I had it I was beholden to the meager repeats that would air on TNT. I remember liking Cow & Chicken but I think it sucks now. I gave Ed, Edd & Eddy a sincere try but I never liked it that much. I was always impressed with Courage but only saw it randomly.

I did really love 2 Stupid Dogs. Technically this was a TBS original. THAT really hit at the right time age-wise. Way underrated.

From London Arbuckle:

remember the pipe camp episode of tom mayor? remember?

I always thought that episode was one of the weaker ones and was baffled by the fact that they made shirts of it. People liked to say Tommy Mayor was a love-it or hate-it thing but I remembered loving the first episode and hating the second one, making me one of the most valuable thinkers of the 20th century.

[thatringboy]

D&D Stories with Perseus (me!)

My favorite D&D campaign I’ve ever been a part of was when my girlfriend (our forever DM) asked me if I could help her out on a story she wanted to do. Basically it became a 1 Player campaign and my other party members would be NPCs created by my GF so that she could also test out other PCs

She had me make a level three character before we started and before I even knew the theme of the campaign, so I made a funky little Drow Bard who taught himself Illusion magic. I gave him a hermit background and basically wrote his backstory for him to be searching for the adventurers who helped him escape the Underdark and chase his dreams of writing music, unfortunately, those adventurers were all humans and died a few hundred years before my Bard actually escaped (there’s a whole thing with an enchanted sleep that I forgot to write down and yeah)

So now my bard is going around just trying to make a living and not get sunburned

We sit down to start the campaign and my character gets framed for murder right off the bat. That’s fine, I guess, Terran (my Drow’s name that he picked for himself) is Lawful Good so he cooperates with the Aasimir police captain named Persephone (she was based off of Percival King from Epithet Erased)

Persephone tells Terran that she knows that he didn’t kill anyone, but her coworkers still want him charged because he’s a Drow. So she makes him a deal: find the actual murderer before next Sunday (seven days) and all will be forgiven and he’d receive a reward

The reason the killer needed to be found in seven days was that on that Sunday, the current Aasimir King would be traveling through the town and the police can’t exactly have a serial killer on the loose

So Terran heads over to the Adventurer’s Guild to hire some help with some cash that Persephone gave him. He hires Daniel the level 2 Goblin Cleric (the poor kid is barely of age to become an adventurer and he’s so nervous) and Martix the Tiger Tabaxi Ranger (Level 2 Ranger, Level 1 Barbarian).

The three went back to a tavern to find info and Terran and Daniel get pulled aside by a Changeling who wants to help. The Changeling drags the two guys around the city for a bit before more Changelings show up and forces the two dudes to fight them. When Terran and Daniel beat them, the original Changeling reveals that there’s a cult of Changelings all around the city who are planning to overthrow the Aasimir King. These Changelings have been stealing identities from the townspeople and killing those who could be threats to their plans. One of these Changelings happened to impersonate Terran and that’s why he got arrested

Terran and Daniel (the poor kid) return to Martix and suddenly a bar fight breaks out between another adventurer (who has only been described as “The Red Pirate”, but has been seen around town for a while) and some guards. Things happen and the entire place blows up. Martix got hurt defending Terran, so the bard dragged him to the Adventurer’s Guild to get him patched up. Only problem is that now Daniel is missing and where he was standing was a note saying to meet his captors by the docks at sundown

So the two get ready and spend hours talking to each other. Turns out Martix didn’t trust Terran at all when they first met and was only helping him to get some money, but now the bard has his respect. (Terran also gave him a ball of yarn and Martix went all cat-mode with it, it was very adorable)

The two get to the docks and find three Changelings in human disguises standing around a tied up Daniel who looks terrified. Martix rages while Terran uses bardic inspiration to give everyone a boost. They easily kill two of the Changelings with some CRIT rolls and Terran chases after the third Changeling who happens to be the leader. Terran tries to get information out of the creature, but to no avail (I failed FOUR intimidation/persuasion checks! FOUR)

So Terran goes to stab the leader with his rapier to reduce him to Changeling sludge, but his blade goes through flesh and bone on it’s face. Terran just stabbed a real human in the face. Huh?!?!?!

Daniel is fine and Terran goes to report in to Persephone, who’s work schedule is just pure havoc. She still has to finish arrangements for the King’s visit, but she also has to take a band of pirates to the gallows. Terran volunteers to run them over to the gallows since it’s on the way to some stores that are owned by known Changelings (the party wants to gather some more info)

Persephone agrees and gives the party a very noticeable wink. We meet the pirates and their captain is a very large and muscular human who probably has some orc blood in him. Daniel uses “Zone of Truth” and the party learns that the pirates have committed no crime, but they too had their identities stolen by Changelings. Using his judgement, Terran decides to let them go and comes up with an excuse to explain their escapement. We find out later that the Red Pirate is the son of the captain and now he owes us for not sentencing his father and crew to death. Also, Terran and The Red Pirate find themselves being attracted to each other??? (curtesy of my girlfriend for giving Terran a love interest because he deserves it)

HOWEVER THE FUCKING CAMPAIGN HAD TO BE PUT ON HIATUS BECAUSE OF COVID AND WE HAVEN’T CONTINUED IT BECAUSE I LOST MY CHARACTER SHEET FOR TERRAN

I was so interested to expose this entire conspiracy with the Changeling cult and maybe a pirate adventure but neither my gf or I have any notes from last year and we’re so mad.

Anyways, I’m sharing this so that it can be of inspiration to other D&D players who need a homebrew campaign idea

(i still think that persephone knew that she had changelings in her police station which is why she put her trust in a fucking drow over other aasimirs and apparently martix had a whole backstory too and daniel was slowly becoming terran’s adoptive little brother like that funky little goblin was my LIFE)

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Black Panther (2018)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, nine times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (40% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nine.

Positive Content Rating:

Three (though it’s worth reminding that this rating is based on the positivity of the content in relation to the female characters, not in general - there’s some real top-shelf content in here, otherwise. Still a very happy three for the ladies anyway, for that matter).

General Film Quality:

High-end. The commitment to nuanced storytelling is impeccable, grappling with all angles of a complex hypothetical far better than could have been anticipated. This is a movie which never loses sight of its own importance, while also never getting too bogged down in it to be entertaining. Earns every ounce of the hype.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Nakia gives her condolences to the Queen Mother. The Queen chastises Shuri. Nakia compliments Okoye’s wig. Nakia negotiates entrance to the club with Sophia. Nakia and Okoye conflict over loyalties. Nakia passes with the Queen Mother after Killmonger takes over, twice. Shuri and Nakia go into battle. They pass together later.

Female characters:

Okoye.

Nakia.

The Queen Mother (technically not a name, but I’m allowing it as a title).

Shuri.

Sophia.

Ayo.

Male characters:

Erik ‘Killmoger’ Stevens/N’Jadaka.

N’Jobu.

Zuri.

T’Chaka.

T’Challa.

Ulysses Klaue.

M’Baku.

W’Kabi.

Everett Ross.

OTHER NOTES:

I’m not sure if T’Challa ruining Nakia’s anti-HUMAN TRAFFICKING mission because he wants her around for emotional support is a very endearing intro for his character in this film...I mean, sure, they rescue the people in the convoy, but presumably there was more to the mission (otherwise Nakia wouldn’t complain that it was ruined), and T’Challa prioritises his feelings over both Nakia’s work, and the lives of all the people it effects. Coulda avoided the negative implications there with just a little fine-tuning in the dialogue.

“Nah, I’m just feelin’ it.” Michael B Jordan has such a great energy about him; he’s very, very convincing, in a role which could have broken the film if it were poorly cast.

But you know what? I fucking LOVE M’Baku, he’s my personal fave for the movie. That presence. This is an excruciatingly well-cast film (among other virtues).

I’m Hella into that Lion King vibe when communing with the spirit realm, too.

Erik shoots his unnamed girlfriend for nothing more than the drama of it, and that is not one of this film’s virtues.

Shuri calling Ross ‘coloniser’ is just...so good. There��s a lot about this film that is a reclamation, in big and obvious in-text ways, but there are also these kinds of little impactful choices which contextualise Wakanda’s relationship to the world and its history, and that kind of detailing is the difference between posturing, and playing for real.

The music in this movie? Also great. Traditional African and modern African-American, representing the interweave of themes and ideologies in-story? Fucking gold. They did not skimp on details in putting this movie together with intelligent design, and I am Hella into it.

M’Baku just fucking BARKING at Ross when he dares speak before him is the highlight of the whole film. It’s perfect. 

A friend of mine has suggested that there must be a missing scene or two in this movie, wherein the Queen Mother convinces M’Baku to go into battle after all, since as-is he just kinda...changes his mind off-screen and she serves no narrative purpose at all. It’s unfortunate such a linking scene is missing, as it would have significantly enhanced both characters and helped to emotionally underpin the final act of the film, which is comparatively weak. 

But anyway, M’Baku is my best dude in this movie. I love a huge man in a grass skirt.

The whole idea that W’Kabi and Okoye have a relationship at all is kinda nonexistent; we wouldn’t know about it at all if she hadn’t called him ‘my love’ that one time. Coulda beefed that up better, i.e. at all.

“Bury me in the ocean, with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew that death was better than bondage.” Michael B Jordan delivered every aspect of this character with such raw power and sincerity, y’all. He hits it straight home.

It goes without saying that there was a lot of pressure for this film to be good: a big-budget superhero action movie, part of the most lucrative cinema franchise in the world right now, taking on an afro-futuristic setting with an almost exclusively black cast? The potential for Black Panther to come off as little more than lip service paid to representation, ‘too PC’, lacking the guts to acknowledge the breadth of the racism that inevitably informs it, perhaps even falling dangerously toward racist cliches of its own...there is no other film of its kind, and as such, Black Panther could not escape being judged as more than an individual story on its own, as a representation of an entire continent’s worth of people and culture and what they could bring to an industry which has made an aggressive point of shutting them out in the past. The pressure was well and truly on to provide not only financial success put also critical acclaim, and boy oh boy, did they rise to the occasion or what?

The centrepiece of Black Panther’s success is Michael B Jordan as Erik Killmonger, striking a precise balance between the heat of well-deserved fury, and the chilling calculation of his revenge. Killmonger’s rhetoric is compelling, and it is the meeting point of the film’s threads, of Wakandan tradition, of the country’s privilege in the midst of colonial oppression and the dire morality of its secrecy, of the call of the wider world and the determining of one’s place within it. It’s vitally important that Killmonger makes sense, right up until he doesn’t - a good villain should always feel like someone you could almost follow, if only they weren’t taking things that one step too far - narratively, this is in an important pitch, but it’s also vital for the context of the viewing audience, the acknowledgement and the validation of that rage at injustice (without which, the film would come off as pandering to white guilt), but without the promotion of violent eye-for-an-eye solutions. Killmonger’s anger is never condemned, only the actions he perpetrates in the name of that anger; the viewer is forced to acknowledge the reality that made Killmonger what he is, but without being encouraged to forgive; only to understand.

I am hardly the first to observe that it is Nakia, not T’Challa, who represents the foil to Killmonger’s ideology, recognising and stirring to action at the injustice’s wrought upon the African people, but seeing in Wakanda the potential to offer unprecedented assistance rather than the opportunity for the oppressed to become the oppressor. The film is populated with character counter-balances, and it validates each perspective (while also illuminating shortcomings) to enhance the overall narrative, rather than equivocating too strenuously to make any point; Nakia values people like Okoye values her country, and while Nakia is right that blind patriotism fails the country if it allows tyranny, the strength of Okoye’s conviction is exactly what inspires the loyalty of those who follow her in the protection of Wakandan values; while Shuri ‘scoffs at tradition’ and leans entirely on the unending machine of technological progress, M’Baku and his people are safeguarding traditional practices and keeping ancient knowledge alive, which saves T’Challa when there’s no tech around - by the same token, without the protective blanket of technological progress, the Jabari would not be free to live as they do. There is good sense in the perspective which every character brings, and all of them are required in symbiosis to achieve a full picture of cultural identity. 

In that broad conversation of identity and place in the world, if there’s one weak link, it’s the Black Panther himself, T’Challa. Not that he’s a weak character or that Chadwick Boseman is a weak actor - it’s just that he’s being thoroughly outplayed by all around him. It’s a good thing in regards to how well-cast the movie is and how it fleshes out its supporting players (in spite of the missing pieces pointed out in the notes above); in an overall-lesser film, the lead being the least compelling character - and especially with such a powerfully-constructed antagonist opposite him - could be a crippling flaw, but as-is Black Panther is pulling out enough stops to get away with having an under-sold Black Panther at its head. That, really, is a testament to the power of the story, and the work being done by everyone involved to tell the tale with tact, with dynamism, with all the colour and flavour the white-washed film industry has been denying all this time. We could talk about its flaws, sure, but there doesn’t seem to be much point - none of them are fatal, none are even particularly egregious, and the achievements of the movie far outweigh any quality blips along the way. Black Panther is a measured, sensitive triumph, and there’s a part of me that - in the best of ways - almost forgets that I’m watching a Marvel movie, a cash-grab - sure, they want to make money out of it, but this feels above all like a passion project. Passion like this, so fully-realised, I am not inclined to fault.

[jorrmungandr]

2019 was a good year for games.

Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones. Here’s a list of my personal favorite games of this year, in no particular order. Making an ordered list can be fun, but it’s ultimately pretty pointless.

Video games are such a diverse medium at this point that it’s really like comparing apples and oranges. How does Baba Is You stack up against Dragon Quest XI S? They have almost nothing in common, and their aims are so different that it makes no sense to compare them directly.

Speaking of….

Baba Is You

There are a lot of indie puzzle games out there. Making a little mind-bending puzzle is something that’s easy to do on a relatively small budget. There are also a lot of games that mimic old pixel art aesthetics of earlier game systems, to greater and lesser success. Making a truly great puzzle game, though, is a true accomplishment. Something that combines a wildly different array of elements in interesting ways, but maintains a simple readability that allows you to return to puzzles after months away and instantly recognize what’s going on.

Baba Is You is a game that accomplishes this and more. It operates on very simple, basic rules, but the way they escalate over time and require you to think outside more and more boxes with every single puzzle is simple astounding. A lot of puzzle games escalate their difficulty so quickly that it’s easy to get discouraged, put off by the impossible tasks you’re being asked to perform. Where Baba shines is that it gives you a perfect runway, teaching you things slowly but surely through a series of challenges.

This is a game where you will instantly go from feeling like the world’s greatest super-genius to a complete and utter fool in a matter of moments, from finishing one stage to starting the next. Over and over again, for dozens and dozens of levels. No game has ever better demonstrated the value of brain rest, stepping away from a problem and letting your subconscious work on it for a while. Every time I came back to a puzzle after a couple hours, I would suddenly see some option I never saw before.

One final note, the graphics are actually a perfect fit for this game. A lot of times, pixel art feels like a gimmick, something to do when you don’t have a good idea, or just mindless nostalgia-baiting. But here, it serves a gameplay purpose, giving you an absolutely clean view of the elements in play at a glance, and also serves as an homage to the simple-yet-challenging puzzle games of those older eras.

Code Vein

And now, for something completely different: An extremely anime-styled souls-like. I remember hearing about this game years and years ago, and thinking that it looked kinda… bad. But, in the meantime they really brought it all together into something fun, if not very innovative.

Code Vein is exactly the sort of thing I look for in a souls-like: it takes the basic formula and adds some new mechanics to it, and has an identity of its own. Instead of a medieval fantasy world, it’s a post-apocalyptic modern city crawling with vampires and zombies. It takes inspiration from stylish, gothic anime of the past couple decades: Code Geass, Blood+, Tokyo Ghoul, etc. The character creator is extremely detailed, but mostly when it comes to clothes and accessories.

The gameplay is… fine. It’s balanced around always having an AI companion, so they can throw bigger groups of enemies at you. It doesn’t require the same sort of intense caution of the Souls series, but that makes it more of a fun, casual experience. At least until you’re fighting a boss, then it suddenly requires you to really be on your game with dodging. If I have one complaint, it’s that the difficulty is incredibly bumpy, some areas are a cake walk and others have you struggling through every encounter.

Oh, also the area aping Anor Londo from Dark Souls. Not because it’s derivative, that’s totally fine, but because it’s a maze where everything looks the same and it’s a real pain to get through. Souls games are at their best when areas have good landmarks and make a kind of logical sense. Earlier in the game you pass through a big parking garage, and it’s perfect, just the sort of thing that translates well to this kind of game. But this cathedral-ish area… it just sucks.

It really is quite shameless.

Overally, it’s just a solid souls-like. I enjoyed the crunchy RPG elements, switching classes and balancing your weapons and armor to get good mobility and damage. The ability to just equip cool-looking attack moves as skills you can use, like spells in Souls games, is something I’d really like to see in more games in this sub-genre.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I was kind of skeptical about this game before it came out. Mostly because it was bringing back weapon durability, a mechanic I’ve always hated in these games, but that ended up being a non-issue. Also the school setting made me a bit wary, thinking it was just gonna end up being some Persona-esque thing where you spend tons of time on mundane nonsense while an actual war is going on.

That was all baseless, it turns out. They balance the idea of a military academy with a traditional Fire Emblem structure remarkably well, giving you a lot of freedom around what you want to do when you play the game. You can run around the monastery talking to students, managing your relationships, or you can just do a ton of tactical battles if you want.

The storytelling was remarkably good, though I feel like it was harmed a bit by the weird way it handled multiple routes with different big mysteries. Some routes ended up completely ignoring or just not getting around to some pretty major mysteries. I’m a person who likes long games, but expecting someone to go through all four routes to figure out what’s going on is a bit much.

But more than that, the way it holds back certain reveals hurts the writing in other ways. The actual revelations can’t really have any effect on the characters and their relationships because it all happens at the very end of the game. It keeps the world feeling a bit flat, without any reactions. The mysteries feel extraneous to the plot, in a weird way, when they are so important to certain characters’ identities and the core conflicts that drive the second half of the game.

The gameplay is okay, though a few of the maps are way too big. The portable Fire Emblem games reigned in the map sizes from the old NES and SNES ones, which was a great thing. But now we’re back to moving a whole army one unit at a time for multiple turns just to get to the next group of enemies. The class system was fun to engage with, balancing learning different skills to open up new opportunities, but the gender-limited classes were a real disappointment. Why can’t men ride pegasi? Why can’t women punch good? It’s bizarre, and honestly felt like it had some stuff left over from early drafts, like the pointless dark mage classes.

This has been a lot of complaining about a game I played for close to a hundred hours. Why is this game even on my list? Because the characters are fucking fantastic, and on a basic level the tactical battles are a lot of fun. It offers a paternalistic form of power fantasy, fostering and guiding your children-warriors and then seeing them destroy your enemies. It is just incredibly satisfying to play. And for all that the mysteries end up a bit frustrating, they are intriguing, and do a good job of motivating you to get through a very lengthy game.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Ah, love a good IGAvania.

This was a year where I really reached for comfort food games a lot, and this is maybe the king of that category. It’s just an old style of game that doesn’t get made anymore, done extremely well by the guy who used to make ’em all the time. Nothing super different or innovative, just the same old thing with a couple new tweaks.

It’s an easy game, but that’s entirely by design. It’s about running around this castle killin’ monsters, collecting new abilities, just exploring and poking around the corners. It’s a game that is, ultimately, designed to be comfortable. And in a time of such strife in the world around us, what could be better?

Disco Elysium

There’s already been a lot written about this game, tons of praise heaped on its writing and its interesting, hauntological world that is so similar to our own, and yet so different. Frankly, I’m really glad I got turned into this before it even came out, if I heard all that overblown praise I’d never have ended up actually sitting down and playing it.

Here’s what I’ll say: This game is a look at an ugly world, and it gives you a lot to think about, but it actually doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are a ton of extremely funny moments, a lot of straight-up goofy-ass jokes. This is not medicine that you have to suffer through, just take it as it comes and it’s a good time. This is what allows its writing to really land, it’s not lecturing you from on high, it’s engaging on a lower, more personable level.

It’s also not some super serious text that you have to pore over and consider extremely closely at every moment. It’s a game, you can save scum and try to exploit mechanics and look up answers to mysteries. Much like Souls games, people come up with all sorts of weird rules about the “proper” way to play games like this, but in the end your experience is up to you.

One final note: the game does start off with a kind of off-putting ironic tone. Some people try to downplay this, but it’s there. I can only say this: if you give this game a chance, you’ll be rewarded. It is worth getting through a few sarcastic jabs to get to the good stuff later on. It’s not some perfect audio-visual experience that will entrance you from the opening moments to the credits, it’s just a video game.

Dragon Quest XI S

I first played Dragon Quest XI last year on PC, and I enjoyed it a lot! But I didn’t actually finish that version, not really. I put a lot of time into, but ultimately burned out on the grind towards the very end.

The form that games come in is very important to how they are experienced. Dragon Quest games work best as portable games, I truly believe. It also helps that this version on the switch added the ability to speed up regular battles, so you don’t have to sit through some long attack animations over and over. The more important aspect, though, is simply the ability to pick it up and put it down more easily.

Sitting down at my PC, plugging in my controller, and pulling up a game is a subtly labor-intensive thing. It means I’m devoting a lot of attention to a game, and it has to do something to earn that on a moment-to-moment basis. The ability to just push a single button on the switch and get back into means that I’m willing to forgive a lot more down time.

Anyway, the game itself: this is not just a very good Dragon Quest game, it is the ultimate Dragon Quest game. It truly shows the value in iteration over pure innovation, taking all sorts of different mechanics and ideas from past games in the series and bringing them all together in one big package. But it doesn’t feel overstuffed, it’s just doing the same thing these games have always done, just really, really well.

Dragon Quest XI successfully pays tribute to the older games in the series while also telling a new story with entertaining twists and turns, and fun and interesting characters. It’s beautiful, everything runs smoothly, the writing is charming and light. It’s not on the same level as Disco Elysium, but it’s not aiming for that sort of thing. It’s a fairy tale, a fable, a reflection of the world in a different sense.

A lot of game critics missed this game because it’s long. And that is absolutely fair, it’s hard to fit a 100-hour game into a review schedule in this day and age. But it’s an absolute gem, a truly wonderful experience from beginning to end. I’d recommend it to anyone who just wants a game to relax with at the end of the day.

Monolith: Relics of the Past

Like some sort of Christmas miracle, there was an expansion pack released for one of my favorite roguelikes on Christmas day, just last week.

Monolith is the best twin-stick shooter roguelike, I will make no bones about it. Forget your Gungeons and your Bindings of Isaac, this is a classic NES-styled game with an absolutely pitch-perfect aesthetic and sense of humor. It serves both the twin-stick shooting and the roguelike parts of its genre perfectly, giving you a strong basic weapon to rely on, and also a guarantee of something more interesting but random in every run.

Man, there are games that I enjoy more, but I really, truly feel that this is one of the best-crafted games of the past few years. And this expansion only made it better: fixing up the UI and tooltips to make things more clear, rebalancing the weapons so that they are all useful, adding more variety to runs.

I’m not the best at Monolith, it took me quite a while to get a full win, but that doesn’t make it any less fun to play. In my youth, I was really quite good at bullet-hell games, but nowadays those reflexes aren’t there. It’s a game designed for people who can dodge endless bullet curtains, and also, now more than ever, for those who struggle with it.

It’s truly inspiring to see something that takes from the past and the present and fuses it together into something so wonderful. There are other games that really capture the NES aesthetic and sensibility, like Odallus or The Messenger, but this one really gets the spirit of that whole era of games. It is at once light and airy, and also punishingly difficult. It offers tricks and outs, but also remains utterly mysterious and intimidating.

And that’s it. There are more games I enjoyed this year, like the remake of Link’s Awakening, but these are the big ones that stick out in my mind.

There are a lot of big narrative-heavy games I never got around to finishing, or even starting. It just doesn’t really fit with how I play games these days, listening to podcasts and aiming to relax, not engage with something on a deep level.

That’s okay, though. I’ll get around to ’em in the fullness of time.

Games of the Year 2019 2019 was a good year for games. Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones.

[yvngbin]

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix  ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here ,  bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects,  &  kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him. 

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

-  has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out