#the hobbit goblin scene

[ai-katsuu]

legolas is sexier and more attractive in lord of the rings than the hobbit there I said it 

[winterpinetrees]

Rereading the hobbit after reading Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion for the first time is unlocking special new emotions that I cannot describe. They’re close to EXU Calamity emotions, but so much stronger.

The Hobbit introduces Elrond like this. “The master of the house was an elf-friend—one of those people whose fathers came into the strange stories before the beginning of History, the wars of the evil goblins and the elves and the first men in the North. In those days of our tale there were still some people who had both elves and heroes of the North for ancestors, and Elrond the master of the house was their chief.”

It’s vague and it sets the scene. It’s enough.

But like, that’s the Silmarillion right there! “wars of the evil goblins”, you mean the war against Morgoth? The battle of sudden flame, the fall of Gondolin, Fingolfin’s duel, every high king and kinslaying and death contained in a line. Elrond’s ancestors aren’t just some “elves and heroes of the north”, they are Beren and Luthien and Melian and Earendil! No one but Tolkien knew back then, but they did happen and they did matter!

The Silmarillion is out there now though, and so many people have read it. I read it. Maedhros and Maglor’s kidnap family mattered. Elros and Numenor mattered. There used to be a continent called Beleriand and a dog that talked three times and entirely too many grandchildren of Finwe. And it’s all gone now.

What’s left? Well, there’s two swords in a troll cave. There’s a wandering Maia with a fun hat. There’s a shiny stone that feels suspicious now, even though I know Tolkien wouldn’t have put a silmaril into a story so casually. Lastly, there’s Elrond, and he’s as kind as summer.

Elrond is as kind as summer.

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Hi Sunny! Can I request Bilbo/Thorin 🤝 for your Valentines prompt, please? Such a lovely idea!! Thank you!

Sorry for the lateness! I managed to get busy the last couple of days. Thank you so much for the ask. Have a little more than 500 words. 😆

Thorin watched Bilbo wander through the gardens talking intently with Ori. He couldn’t hear the conversation in question, but he could guess from Bilbo’s smiles and Ori’s enthusiasm that it was something related to hobbits and their culture. Ori had been dying to know more about their fourteenth companion since the start of their journey, and now that they reached sanctuary in Beorn’s cabin, he could finally ask all he wanted to know. 

One of the overly large bees decided to investigate their new company much to Ori’s panic. Bilbo’s laughter was bright and musical when the young dwarf threw himself to the ground to avoid the bee that landed on Bilbo’s curls. A smile tugged at Thorin’s face effortlessly in the face of the scene. In the face of Bilbo’s genuine joy. He took a deep breath grappling with the realization that he came to after their escape from the goblins. After Bilbo defended himself and his presence in their company. Thorin was in love with him.

“Are you just going to stand here and stare like a creep, or are you going over there?”

Thorin flinched lightly even if he tried to deny it. He crossed his arms, making himself much more comfortable against the wooden beam in the porch’s shade.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Thorin defended.

“Right.” Dwalin snorted. “Look, I’ve saved your life plenty of times and I’ve never been hugged like that afterwards.”

“Aw, do you need a hug, Dwalin?” Thorin teased.

The other dwarf rolled his eyes as he shoved at Thorin. “Why would I want a hug from your moody ass? I’m just saying it’s plain as day what you feel for the hobbit. So go do something about it.”

“We are on a dangerous quest.” Thorin raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s not the best time.”

“Maybe that’s why it's the perfect time. Especially if you’re going to keep throwing yourself at your enemies with no backup whatsoever.”

Thorin was never going to hear the end of that. He honestly couldn’t tell if Dwalin was more worried about Thorin’s safety or more pissed that Thorin didn’t think to help him up. 

“Just do us all the favor and talk…to the hobbit.” Dwalin demanded, pausing as he shoved Thorin out into the open sunshine. 

Thorin looked over his shoulder to glare at his friend, before looking to see if Bilbo had noticed. He was met with the hobbit’s warm gaze and wide grin.

“Hello, Thorin!”

Thorin straightened himself out after his ungraceful display moving towards Bilbo and Ori.

“Hello, do you mind if I join you two?”

“Of course not!” Bilbo exclaimed.

“Yeah, we don’t mind at…OW!”

Thorin stared unimpressed as Ori rubbed the back of his head from where the rock hit before looking back at Dwalin and making his excuses to leave. Bilbo seemed rather worried, but Thorin assured him that Ori was not in any trouble with Dwalin. That the dwarf was just being ridiculous. Bilbo didn’t seem convinced, but at least was willing to go along with it. They weaved through the blooms, in silence at first, but it was not in Bilbo’s nature to remain so for long. He told Thorin of the flowers that they also had in the Shire and their meanings in their culture as well as any practical uses they may have. 

Thorin felt as if his head was spinning from the onslaught of information, but he did nothing to interrupt the hobbit who was clearly in his element. So Thorin would follow it up to ask about a different flower or about Bilbo’s garden back at Bag End, which he could barely remember in the glimpses he caught of it. If anything, it made him happy to see Bilbo so animated and confident, a far cry from how he had been so far on their journey. Feeling particularly enamored after a humorous retelling from the hobbit, he reached over to grab Bilbo’s hand.

Bilbo paused for a moment before carrying on with his tales, giving Thorin’s hand a squeeze in return. Thorin felt as if his heart was soaring back in the sky with the eagles. His mind whirled with the possibilities, and perhaps Dwalin was right. Perhaps he didn’t need to wait until the end of this quest to find what he was looking for. Not that he would ever tell the other dwarf.

Leaving the gardens, he and Bilbo ambled through the rest of Beorn’s property. Hand in hand, and quite contently too. 

Send me Hugs & Kisses!

[anneangel]

Because I imagine this scenes of The Hobbit book with Elrohir and Elladan, you know, Elrond's twin sons. And it looks like this:

Elrohir: What brings Mister Baggins. Elladan: And Balin and Dwalin. O! tra-la-la-lally Elrohir: down into the valley. O! Tril-lil-lil-lolly. Elladan: in June, ha! Ha!

So they laughed and sang in the trees; and pretty fair nonsense.

“Well, well!” said Elrohir.

“Just look! Bilbo the hobbit on a pony, my dear! Isn’t it delicious!” said Elladan.

Elrohir: “Most astonishing wonderful!”

“Don’t dip your beard in the foam, father!” they cried to Thorin, who was bent almost on to his hands and knees. “It is long enough without watering it.”

“Mind Bilbo doesn’t eat all the cakes!” they called. “He is too fat to get through key-holes yet!”

“Hush, hush! Good People! and good night!” said Gandalf, who came last. “Valleys have ears, and some elves have over merry tongues. Good night!” And so at last they all came to the Last Homely House, and found its doors flung wide.

Bilbo would have liked to have a few private words with these people that seemed to know his names and all about him, although he had never seen them before. He thought their opinion of his adventure might be interesting. Elves know a lot and are wondrous folk for news, and know what is going on among the peoples of the land.

-The Hobbit Book - Chapter III, A Short Rest ⤴️

P.s: They are silly, but are intelligent enough to know the visitors' names and that Bilbo is with them on a mission where he will have to enter through a lock, and they still don't know about the map, and the secret door. Which only proves that Elrond's sons are so much intelligent.

...And then, I imagine it's them singing this, in that scene on Bilbo's journey home, when he and Gandalf stop again in Rivendell:

"Sing all ye joyful, now sing all together!The wind’s in the tree-top, the wind’s in the heather; The stars are in blossom, the moon is in flower, And bright are the windows of Night in her tower. Dance all ye joyful, now dance all together!" (...) [Elrohir and Elladan sing the song].

“Well, Merry People!” said Bilbo looking out. “What time by the moon is this? Your lullaby would waken a drunken goblin! Yet I thank you.”

“And your snores would waken a stone dragon—yet we thank you,” they answered with laughter. “It is drawing towards dawn, and you have slept now since the night’s beginning. Tomorrow, perhaps, you will be cured of weariness.”

“A little sleep does a great cure in the house of Elrond,” said Bilbo; “but I will take all the cure I can get. A second good night, fair friends!” And with that he went back to bed and slept till late morning.

-The Hobbit Book -Chapter XIX, The Last Stage ⤴️

And so, in me headcanon, Bilbo kindly chose not to mention in his accounts when Elrond apologized to him about his children, with a certain guilty pleasure, because after all he loves his children and likes to see them happy. And Bilbo understands perfectly, because he also loves Elrohir and Elladan.

And somehow Bilbo thinks they look like Kili and Fili, and it brings tears to his eyes, and Elrond feels like he should be offended that his children are compared to dwarves, but in fact he is smiling kindly.

After Bilbo left Rivendell, Elrohir and Elladan fully told little Estel/Aragorn about him, who was eager to meet him ever since.

Years later, Elrond reads Bilbo's drafts about his adventure, and wonders if Bilbo left so much of his relationships out, just narrating and telling the basics, because it still hurt him to talk or write about it in more detail.

And anyway, everyone in Rivendell loves Bilbo, for reasons we will never know because Bilbo left out of his writings most of the lovelly dialogue and cute and greatest interactions he had with the elves (and also with Thorin's company).

Because it hurt him to put it on paper, or even talk about it, and that's why it took him years to write the most succinct and summarized book about his adventure.

[shuunnico]

Any criticisms for the Lord of the Rings trilogy?

A few.

Primarily, I'll talk about the extended cuts, but special mention goes out to two in particular in the theatrical because of how egregious they are.

Cutting Saruman's death and the Mouth of Sauron both create issues with plot holes and unresolved plots. The first doesn't give Saruman and Wormtongue closure and the second causes continuity issues when they army is at the gate.

Now, for the extended versions:

Fellowship:

The Nazgul should've seen the hobbits during the "Get off the road!" scene. The road is a straight path and the hobbits were only just out of sight when the rider appears.

Gandalf should've said something about the Mines not being safe. He very clearly knew something was wrong given his expression.

The goblins should not have been able to hone in on the Fellowship that fast, given the chain/corpse fell into a deep pit, far below them.

Two Towers:

Brego finding Aragorn after he falls off the cliff is very convenient. The horse was let loose a day prior and it just so happened to head in the right direction to stumble across Aragorn in his time of need.

The 'torch orc' that needs to be shot and killed before it sets off the bombs is a bit silly when you realize that if Legolas DID kill him, they'd just send another one.

The elves were very clearly added last minute. While this isn't a huge issue, they do just show up so they can die and have no greater impact on the story. Nobody remembers Haldir.

Gollum's betrayal could've been avoided if Frodo just told him the truth about the pool, archers and threat to his life instead of misleading him.

Gollum should've been having his 'self talks' a bit further from Frodo and Sam. Given the volume he's speaking at, it's a miracle none of them woke up and overheard him.

Return of the King:

The Eagles aren't properly set up or explained. You can infer some things, but a lot of it has to rely on the books to understand and that's not great.

Denathor, on fire, would not have been able to run that far.

The Eye probably should've seen Frodo when it focused on him. It would've been better to have the spotlight almost get to Frodo before Aragorn pulls its attention away.

That an entire tower of orcs kill themselves, allowing Sam to nearly breeze in and rescue Frodo is very convenient. If that didn't happen, Sam would've had no chance.

That the giant chasm opens up in just the right way to swallow all of Sauron's forces, but spares Aragorn's army is convenient and silly with how precise it is.

Overall, I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Literally the reason I got into mythology, folklore, world building and just wanting to be creative overall. But I can't say they're perfect.

These aren't just personal issues, like how I might dislike Sauron's helmet design or how I don't like how Faramir/Eowyn get together the way they did.

These are more concrete writing flaws within the script and story. You don't have to be bothered by them, you can like them if you want, but they are still issues that probably should've been buffed out before the films

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Alright, let’s settle this. Which version of The Black Crack (Down Down to Goblin Town) is best, lyric and rhythm wise?

You all better listen to the whole songs. In the last one, there are two parts, one plays as the dwarves are brought in and one plays after they are condemned to death. Just watch the whole scene.

[queenmeriadoc]

This is probably weird critique for the Hobbit the extended cut but I'll say it anyway,

The camera moved too much, too much movement for some of the scenes.

Some scene were way too long, like they were planning on creating rides based on those scenes, waste of time.

Most of the orc scenes were not needed, and had them being cut would not have affected the movie at all.

The Goblin scene chase was too long and having the Goblin King fall on top of them was unnecessary, the could just gone "that could gone worse" to Kili seeing that they were still being chased.

Less flashback scenes.

Thorin could have been less hostile against Elrond.

When did the elves become vegetarian?

I could have believed the Kili x Tauriel romance more if they spent more time being held captive by Thranduil.

I wanted less Legolas.

Less bird poop on Radagast.

Also they did not need to make the Lake-town master as disgusting as they did, I feel like there are other ways to show him being greedy than making him repulsive.

[thebeesareback]

Ladies, gents, froglets, the girls, the gays, the theys, and anyone who doesn't fit into these categories: it's time for the Bees random ramblings.

I've been revisiting some children's fantasy books when I can't sleep. It's winter here in the UK and I love a cosy moment. Fantasy books do that really well! The thing is, there's often something lurking underneath the feeling of safety.

For example, in The Hobbit, the little squad are hiking up a mountain during a storm. They're wet, tired, hungry and cold, and the weather is so bad that giants have appeared and started throwing rocks at each other. It's the sort of thing which would make anyone feel pretty miserable. Filli and Killi find a nice cave, and so everyone goes and shelters with them. The mood of the new scene is much nicer. Their ponies start to dry off and gently steam (this is a real thing), they spread their wet clothes out to dry; have something to eat; then lie on the floor in blankets and get out their pipes. Gandalf uses magic to turn their smoke rings into different colours. It's absolutely charming! I would love this! I appreciate being inside when there's a dramatic storm outside!

Unfortunately, Bilbo wakes up to see goblins stealing their ponies, and he and the dwarves are all dragged off to a place which feels like hell. It's very nightmarish and everyone thinks they're going to be eaten.

Lucy, in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe goes through the eponymous wardrobe and finds herself in a snowstorm. She's rescued by Mr Tumnus the fawn, and ends up having tea with him, safe and warm in his little cottage. The food and drink are tasty; she watches the fire and sees the flames dancing; and Mr Tumnus gets out his harp and plays a tune. Like the cave scene, it's really charming and comforting. I would love to go for tea with Mr Tumnus.

Oh, except he betrayed Lucy and the White Witch's agents are on their way to kill her.

My theory is that, as Tolkein and Lewis fought in WW1, they found it hard to feel safe and knew that places which appeared friendly and welcoming were often traps. A lot of people have noticed how both WW1 and WW2 are clearly in Tolkein and Lewis' minds as they wrote, but I just wondered how frequently they were surrounded by things which once made them feel safe, yet were unable to truly relax.

But death of the author or whatever.

[shantismurf]

CLICK HERE TO VOTE! Only one day to vote!

We are playing a new game and need your help!

Participants in the game have submitted plot bunnies which will be voted on anonymously. The chosen author will run the development of the story that we will then brainstorm and write as a group. Assigned scenes will be about 300-500 words each, written in their own style but in continuity with the rest of the story and picking up where the previous writer left off. It will hopefully be very fun and informal!

If you'd like to watch, or play with us next time, join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/Gyt2EtSv6. We talk about Bagginshield. A LOT.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!

Round One Plot Summaries:

PLOT ONE:

The Little Burglar: A Dwarven King frees a city from Goblin rule. After the castle is purged, slaves of all fae races are found, fed, and treated for their wounds. The King stumbles upon one that is smaller and more fragile than the rest. At first, they think it a male child of Man or Elf, but upon further scrutiny it is discovered he is actually a mature Hobbit. He doesn’t speak, and no one knows whether he understands their language, but it is clear he plans to do as he pleases now that he’s free. He seems to vanish at will and steals all kinds of things from under anyone’s nose. The little nuisance also seems to be following the King around, appearing only when the King is alone. Determined to gain the Hobbit's trust, the King tries to find ways to coax the little creature out of hiding.

PLOT TWO:

Western - Settlers are heading West, looking for wide open spaces and a new place to call home. Many are settling in the new town of Erebor and word quickly spreads of the vast number of opportunities there. It is new, it is unique, and it is exciting. The trouble is getting there. Travel by train only goes halfway. The rest must either be by foot or by wagon if one can afford it and aren't afraid of being attacked by natives or bandits. If a family is lucky and survive the trip, they will no doubt prosper and be under the watchful eye of Marshall Thorin Durin and his Deputy Marshall Frerin Durin. They are brothers who have sworn to protect the people in this new community from a band of outlaws led by the gunslinger Azog the Defiler. BIlbo Baggins is a school teacher who is looking for an adventure. He accepts a teaching position in the West and buys a train ticket to Erebor. Bonus pts for death of a minor character (Frerin) and the appearance of Dis and Gandalf.

PLOT THREE:

Tangled AU - Stolen from his family as a baby by the evil wizard Saruman, Bilbo is raised alone in the tower of Elostirion, in the mountains west of the Shire. He is never allowed to cut his hair which glows like "ten thousand sparks of white radiance, shot with glints of the rainbow," possessing strange powers that the wizard guards jealously. With only his books to keep him company, Bilbo dreams of adventure and the outside world, though he's been raised to believe that the world is dangerous and all races would covet his magic hair, to his ruin. One day a Dwarrow Prince scales his tower, and Bilbo promptly knocks him out with a frying pan.

Bonus: Thorin tries to braid Bilbo's ridiculous amount of hair but it's so much that he has to have Fili and Kili help him. The dwarves all lose their mind a little over so much sparkly beautiful hair the color of living mithril, but when it's lost they see it as a battle scar and respect him even more.

PLOT FOUR:

Journalist!Bilbo/Vigilante!Thorin - Bilbo’s major is in investigative journalism and he follows up on a dangerous lead only to land himself in hot water. He is saved by some gun wielding manic in the nick of time, but it is really weird how his savior kind of looks like his new roommate...

PLOT FIVE:

Kidnapping Adventure - While passing through the Shire, Thorin is abducted by orcs. Bilbo was camping nearby and tried to help him, but was taken along. They manage to escape, but they don't know where they are, and given Thorin's sense of direction, and Bilbo's lack of experience out of the Shire, they take a very meandering path trying to find their way home. One of the central themes of the fic would be understanding people who are very different from you, whether it's the cultural differences between dwarves and hobbits, but also between them and the people and creatures they encounter like ents, mushroomlings, and other more fantastical creatures usually not featured in Tolkiens' legendarium.

[dominustempori]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!

15 (see what I did there?) observations/comments on “The Church on Ruby Road”

1. Duuuuude Doctor crying in the first scene…omg my heart. He’s gonna be so much more sensitive, more than 11 and 13 combined. I’m very much down with that.

2. Time-riding goblins looking for dinner…bit too fairy tale? I mean sure, lighten the mood a bit after the other 2 specials, I guess. Not the strongest villains in the Whoniverse…still, made me cringe a bit in the right moments

3. LOVE me the Doctor’s sneakers.

4. and He can RUN in them! (I ran track for 6 years in school, and I ref for the sport. I appreciate good running form 😁)

5. Like others have recently said, thank you RTD for keeping on the ‘Timeless Child’ story line.

6. on that…the Doctor more or less bonding with Ruby, one “foundling” to another, will just add all that much more to their relationship, as Doctor and companion, I feel.

7. Bravo to having one of Ruby’s friends/bandmates being trans. Props to that actor.

8. Ncuti in a kilt…clubbing. Booyah.

9. Also bravo to the actresses flipping personalities after the “crack in time” sequence (also also…where have we seen THAT before? hee…)

10. Kinda wishing the sonic was just a little more…screwdriver-ish. But I’m cool with the new design. Hoping the toy version does have that little flashlight included 😋

11. Always love me a Doctor Who episode with a baby. (Father’s Day, Closing Time, Return of Doctor Mysterio…you get the idea.)

12. Anyone else get the slightest “Labyrinth” vibe during THE song? Just me?

13. Kinda weird that I liked Russell’s goblin king much more than the one we got in the first “Hobbit” movie? Yes/no/maybe?

14. Yes I am buying that Mrs. Flood is Iris Wyldthyme or another past companion. Didn’t see that 4th wall break coming…PLEASE let us get a reveal before the new season ends.

15. Ruby’s real mum…or whoever dropped her off on the church step: did no one else see below the cloak? the boots, the short cut of the trousers? Remind anyone of someone, possibly?

WHAT IF IT WAS 13?????

I SWEAR it was her! That could explain the lack of any sort of DNA match! And…Millie has hints of Jodie in her, to me at least…

Another long post…I had feelings 😎 Comments welcome, nothing negative please 🙏

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

I cannot, for the LIFE OF ME figure out what they were going for with this scene.

I mean, anybody reasonably familiar with the Hobbit or anything else written by Tolkien would know Orcrist was very much not forged by Legolas’ kin and that he’d have absolutely no reason to claim that (especially not in Elvish which the Dwarves can’t understand - if he was saying that for their benefit and using ‘my kin’ as shorthand for ‘other elves’ it might make some vague amount of sense but he’s just thinking to himself, and there’s no way in hell he privately identifies with the Noldor enough that he’d think of them like that) but that’s not the weirdest thing about this. 

In the ACTUAL Elvish that he is ACTUALLY speaking in this scene, he’s saying:

“This sword was made in Gondolin. Forged by the Noldor.” (source)

Which is actually correct. Why oh why would they go to the trouble of writing a piece of Elvish dialogue saying one thing and saying exactly the opposite thing in the subs? 

If it was about the copyright issues of not being allowed to reference the Silm but they still wanted to have the actual facts as a little easter egg, couldn’t they tweak the subtitles so they’d fit better? Like saying “this is a blade from one of the old Elven kingdoms, forged by the High Elves?” Hell! It can’t be that, the LotR movies had Galariel use the word ‘Noldorin’ to describe the daggers she gives Merry and Pippin, AND the first Hobbit movie had Elrond spelling it out for us by literally saying: “This is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver. A famous blade... forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin.(...) And this is Glamdring (...) Sword of the King of Gondolin. These were made for the Goblin Wars of the First Age” SO WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ISSUE HERE?! 

If they wanted to have him say exactly what he’s saying in the subs, couldn’t they have him actually say that instead of distracting me with the word ‘Gondolin’? Is it that they recorded the dialogue to echo Elrond’s words in AUJ, and then thought “hmmm, casual viewers won’t get that even though we referenced that in the first movie” and so they subbed it with the exact opposite of what he’s saying?? To also echo what Elrond said except this time it has the unfortunate consequence of implying that Legolas and Elrond are kin which would be bound to confuse casual viewers even more?! 

Which version am I supposed to go with now? Is Legolas merely confused about Dwarves carrying a First Age Noldorin weapon - which is what his real dialogue and initial reaction tell us - or is he offended that Dwarves apparently stole something that belonged to ‘his kin’ - which is what the subtitles establish and what the movie goes with?? Why is the movie operating on two separate and contradicting levels of reality?!

I mean, his reference to Gondolin makes his bitchy attitude even more unwarranted and pointless than it already was, because if Thorin had stopped being a cryptic asshole for all of two seconds he could have just said ‘Lord Elrond gave this to me’ (truthful + Elrond is the kind of guy you absolutely namedrop if you want an Elf to listen to you) instead of ‘it was given to me’ (needlessly vague, antagonizing and dumb) and Legolas would have gone ‘Elrond is pretty significantly connected to Gondolin, what with his grandparents being from there, and a Dwarf probably wouldn’t think to use that info to convince me, so it’s probably not a lie.’ 

Why do I get punished for knowing what they’re talking about? 

[supernova1us]

My personal changes to the Hobbit trilogy films

so a lot of this comes both from personal preference and obviously hindsight years after the movies came out. im not striving terribly hard to gear things solely towards the books but certain things do work better geared that way plus they do have to stretch out to three movies. i did grow up with both the original book and the rankin/bass special so both of those are equel in the standards i hold things to. ill start with some overarching changes then to some smaller, more detailed ones.

-one primarily would be slightly toning down the unlikable traits of the dwarves overall. it just feels like they pushed too hard in making the dwarves rude, standoffish, unruly and unpleasant to really sympathize with in many cases. if just say thorin and dwallin are the standoffish ones, and say another two or three are the rowdy ones, and another one is the blunt or rude one, it would work a bit more but many of these unflattering traits are just too shared among the dwarves and it seemed like an unnecessary addition that keeps the individuals from being fleshed out more.

-i would also tone down the overreliance on connecting to LOTR a bit. i know they are connected in major ways, but the problem is that this story looses its autonomy and focus, simply becoming a prequel rather than its own story that leads into the next. that includes bilbo not continuously having flashes to the eye of sauron, less implication of sauron focusing on commanding the orcs and getting the mountain/dragon for himself and more that he is aiding/encouraging the events. sauron wanting smaug as an ally would more primarily be gandalfs worry. that would also include smaug not being aware of saurons threat.

-azog would not be in the trilogy outside of the moria flashback. bolg, who would have a different design altogether, would rightly be the main villain and fill mostly the same role. it honestly seemed like a very unnecessary change in the first place. the orc hunters in "an unexpected journey" would not appear until the attack when radagast appears, this would also mean that bolg's identity and motivation dont come out until the cliffside finale even though we see him at weathertop.

-smaug would have his traditional 4 legged and winged design from the concept work. its just my personal preference for dragons. he would also get to say his boast speech in full. a shot of his body sinking into the dark depths of the lake would also be added.

-thorin would have a bit of a longer beard.

-kili would have lighter hair to more closely resemble fili. they'd also get more shared scenes/focus instead of primarily kili.

-dwallin would have more grey in his hair

-bombur and bifur would get more attention and be closer with bilbo like bofur. this would play up their being somewhat outsiders for not being of the line of durin, and also because in both the book and rankin/bass special, bombur is one of the most prominent dwarves, but in the films is mostly for fat jokes and has barely any lines.

-the "misty mountains cold" song would be extended.

-when the witch king attacks radagast, he appears in the armored spectral form from the third film, this makes much more sense as to partially hide his identity from unaware viewers, but also because the form we saw was how he appeared in the shadow realm, so he wouldnt appear that way in the physical world.

-a bit more time would be shown to pass in rivendell, including the "bilbo in rivendell" deleted scene. i'd add a scene where some elf children sing a few lines of the elf song from the book, which amuses thorin, showing a bit of his softer side. the bofur song scene would remain in but would be less chaotic and the elf minstrels would join in, showing a smidge better relationship between the dwarves and the less antagonistic elves.

-the goblins would be designed to more closely resemble the moria orcs seen in "fellowship". they would also emerge after dark and join the orcs on the cliffs before the eagles arrive. similar to the books, the Golbin town song would be present as a chant as the dwarves are taken along. the addition of the goblin king recognizing thorin and hinting at azog would not be present.

-the collapsed bridge escape from goblin town would not be quite so ridiculous.

-a larger group of wargs would attack on the cliff and bolg/orcs wouldnt be seen in the scene until they arrive at the cliff, with the wargs having arrived first

-gandalf would briefly address the lord of eagles before they leave

-beorns bear form would get more screentime and he would be a much less grim character outside his dislike for orcs and distrusting the dwarves. too many characters are grim in this trilogy. the deleted scene of the dwarves intro would remain in

-legolas would be a less ruthless/moody and overpowered character. he would still be slightly naive but very skilled.

-the romance between tauriel and kili doesnt exist, rather she strikes a minor friendship with him and fili in their cells while captured. her and legolas following them to lake town is more her devotion to unraveling the larger events.

-the extended river battle does not take place; after the gate is opened, a prolonged battle between the elves and orcs at the river gate would intercut with the dwarves trying to manage going through the rapids before the remaining orcs flee the battle to follow them. more focus on all the elves fighting and not just legolas and tauriel. also kili does not get poison arrowed.

-alfred gets much less screentime and is less weaselly and is either a suck up or a complainer; is much less aggressive and arrogant in personality. he would either die with the master or remain with the survivors but be much less prominent other than getting stuck with bad duties and acting cowardly.

-only kili and fili get left behind in lake town, from being late from drinking. they are taken in by bard, which draws the orcs there by scent. tauriel would then choose to stay to protect them and the children, which legolas agrees with. they thus see the death from smaug's attack which warrants their unnerving towards thorin later. legolas would not leave the city but simply disappears battling the orcs and doesnt reappear until meeting with tauriel on the shore after the town is destroyed.

-the battle of five armies would be less one sided and hopeless for the humans/dwarves/elves until the near end. more elves and humans would survive to fight on till the end; elf archers would remain on the mountain slope like the book while the rest fell back to help secure dale. the orcs would have much less trolls and ogres fighting for them.

-the misty mountains cold instrumental would be used when thorins company lead the dwarf charge

-rather than a trap and dying separately, fili and kili would be cornered by bolg on ravenhill, who kills both in combat in sight of thorin

-there would be more eagles arriving and a few would be seen being shot down before they fully turn the tide.

-beorn would instead arrive shortly after legolas and tauriel and, after telling off thrandruil, the three head for ravenhill and fight off the approaching orcs while thorin fights bolg. a shot of beorn baring thorins body on his back towards erabor would be seen before the funeral scene. legolas and tauriel would be present at the funeral. thrandruil and his remaining elves would be standing outside dale as the memorial horns sound.

-thrandiul does remain and fight on after legolas and gandalfs words and is shown awkwardly embracing his son after the battle. legolas' final conversation with his father and the reference to aragorn are not present-cause that sucked.

-a short montage would show bilbo, gandalf and beorns return journey over time, including them staying at beorns, stopping at rivendell and digging up the troll treasure.

deleted/extended scenes that would remain in the films: bilbo at the hobbit market, extended dwarves raid the pantry scene, dwarves interrogated by grand goblin, dwarves intro to beorn, enchanted river, extended mirkwood scene, dwarves vs elves battle, the women join the battle, bilbo plants the acorn, thorins company during battle, bifur losing his axe, thorins funeral.

so, what are others thoughts on these changes, would they have been a benefit to the films, a hindrance or are they just overall pointless.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Bagginshield Drabbles and Collections

FOLLOWER EVENTS

Bagginshield Trope Bingo

Blacksmith Thorin- Thorin is happy to finally return to the Shire, but finds that tragedy struck his favorite hobbit in his absence.

Reshirement- Bilbo gets increasingly irritated with his relatives as he prepares for his 111th birthday, and Thorin is convinced they are ready for one more adventure.

Second Chances- Thorin awakens in Afghanistan suddenly remembering his past life and how much Bilbo meant to him only to learn Bilbo is a prisoner of war.

30+3

Paranoid, book, uncle- Frodo reads Bilbo's book and becomes paranoid that Uncle Thorin won't return.

Winter, letter, revealing- Worried about the fact that Bilbo still hasn't awoke after the battle, Thorin writes to Gandalf for answers. (Incomplete)

All About Bilbo from the POV of...

Balin- Bilbo is described by a friend on how he makes an ideal consort for Thorin.

Bofur- Bilbo is described by someone who loves him, but Bilbo is in love with someone else. (Unrequited Boffins)

Thorin- Bilbo is described by his first date as Thorin and Bilbo become frustrated with each other until it finally is released.

99 Problems But Our Love Ain't One

A Family Dinner Gone Awry- Prompt #11: Bilbo and Thorin discover the nature of some of the Company's bets

Do You Play Golf, King of the Goblins?- Prompt #17: The Goblins recognize Bilbo as a Took.

The Promise of After- Prompt #24: Bilbo's cold flares up in Laketown.

An Ill-Timed Giggle- Prompt #26: Bilbo laughed during sex once and now Thorin is paranoid. (NSFW)

Living the Hobbit Way- Prompt #29: Bilbo and Thorin have a fight over tea, and Prompt #82: Thorin finds some questionable objects in Bag End and needs to ask Bilbo what they are for. (NSFW)

Every Wedding Has a Few Disasters- Prompt #34: Every wedding has something that goes wrong. Bilbo and Thorin's was no exception as one of the grooms goes missing.

A Lesson Carved in Stone- Prompt #44: Fili and Kili have gotten in trouble by finding Mahal's Anvil.

No Small Amount of Courage- Prompt #53: The goldsickness (has believe to have) made an appearance in other dwarves in the mountain.

Nori Needs a Burglar- Prompt #64: Being a sneaky, former burglar, Nori needs Bilbo to pull some spy work for him.

The Love of Mahal's Children- Prompt #73: A previous admirer of Bilbo's returns.

A Golden Nightmare- Prompt 99: Bofur leaves for a few weeks/months and when they come back they act...possessed.

SOS

Behind the Money- Tea Shop AU; Bilbo is left a surprisingly large tip by his customer crush.

And Watch Them Grow- Post-BOTFA AU; Thorin leaves Bilbo unconscious on the mountain to get help, but doesn't get far before passing out himself.

Dwalin Guards Thorin's Heart- Bodyguard Dwalin; Thorin asks Dwalin to guard Bilbo; he didn't realize how much trouble that was going to be

Learning What It Means to Be You- Bodyswap AU; Bilbo and Thorin have somehow switched bodies, and discover some things about each other in the process

My Love is a Language for You to Interpret- Interpreter AU; Bilbo has been Thorin's interpreter for years and gets jealous when he goes on a "date".

FELLOWSHIP OF THE FICS EVENTS/PROMPTS

Wednesday/Weekend Word Plays

Alphabet Game- Child Bilbo meets child Thorin, Frerin, and Dis as they decide to explore the Shire together.

Inspired By- Fanfic of @lordoftherazzles fic Bookbinder//Songwriter. (NSFW)

Switch It Up- The emotional scene of A Future Bright as Snow changed to an ice skating AU.

Switch POV- Excerpt from Chapter 1 of Guardian of Kings from Thorin's POV.

They were roommates...- Thorin gets jealous of 'friends-with-benefits' Bilbo/Bofur.

What If?- What if Bilbo had been transformed into an old hobbit instead of a baby hobbit in Rivendell?

Sweet & Spicy Bingo

Soulmates- Being born mute, Bilbo has trouble letting his soulmate know that it's his voice he hears.

Toys- Bilbo has a dream where Thorin is taking him down to a dungeon below Erebor to have some fun. (NSFW)

Webcam- Bilbo is in the middle of filming for his cooking show when Thorin surprises him for 'other' activities, neither realizing he's live...(NSFW)

March Madness

Bonding in the Forge- For the prompt "are you aware that it's actually ON FIRE?", Dis takes Bilbo into the forge to teach him to smith per dwarven courting traditions.

A Form of Flattery- For the prompt "I left you alone for two minutes", Fili, Kili, and Bilbo are in charge of hunting for the evening...so they make a rabbit trap.

Modern May Mash-Ups

Road Trip + Professor/Teacher + “Don’t you remember? We used to do that in school all the time.”

Fake Date + Chef + “Are you in trouble?”

Drunk/Night Out + Driving Instructor + "Maybe you need to focus more on your life and less on mine!"

Raising a Child + Pickpocket + “Am I under arrest, or not?”

Band + Carpenter + “Well? What happened? I want all the details!”

Summer Stories

Take Me Out to the Ball Park- Bilbo and Thorin are harassed by a group of trolls at the game, but they get what they deserve.

Fictober

Blood Moon- Bilbo's transformation seems to be effecting him differently during the blood moon (A Mother's Curse ficlet)

Superstitions- Madoc and Durin have made some major superstitious faux pas' in each other's cultures. (Soul Traitor ficlet)

OTHER GAMES/CHALLENGES

Hugs & Kisses

Sickly Cuddles- Thorin hugs Bilbo close while he suffers from a cold.

Sleepy Words- Bilbo wakes Thorin up to an onslaught of sweet words.

Holding Hands at Beorn's- Dwalin gives Thorin the nudge needed to talk to Bilbo and hold his hand.

Worried Kisses- Thorin comes home thinking his hobbit would be angry and instead gets kissed.

Touch Asks

Feeling for Each Other in the Dark- After being trapped in a cave-in, Bilbo learns that Thorin's vision might not be as good as it used to be.

Piggy Back Hugs- Bilbo is having the worst hangover of his life, but that might change when he sees Thorin's text that morning.

Trick or Treat

Sword Fight (Treat)- After Azog and the Carrock, Thorin feels he needs to teach Bilbo to fight.

Cavern Oasis (Treat)- Thorin leads Bilbo down below Erebor where he has a surprise for him.

Thorin's First Flight (Treat)- Inspired by How to Train Your Dragon, Bilbo and Smaug take Thorin for a flight.

Flower Crowns (Treat)- Bilbo decides to go for it and gift Thorin his flower crown.

Picnics and Laughter (Treat)- Bilbo and Thorin enjoy a nice picnic together on the mountainside.

Try It? (Treat)- Bilbo makes some tasty treats with the freshly picked blueberries, but Thorin may be hesitant to try it.

Bed Play Too Far (Trick)- Bilbo and Thorin are playing bedroom games and Bilbo pushes just a little too far. (NSFW)

It Was Only a Dream (Trick)- Bilbo thinks Thorin is forcing him to leave Erebor, only to wake up and discover the reality is worse.

Driving Me Crazy (Treat)- Thorin casually picks Bilbo up around the forge and it starts to stir something inside him. (NSFW)

No Escape from the Dragon (Trick)- Bilbo is running for his life as he is chased by the dragon with the face of a loved one.

Tropetember

I Didn't Know I Loved You- Bilbo and Thorin have secret alter egos- they’re both in love with the wrong identity.

Thoughts of You- Bilbo hits his head and can suddenly hear the thoughts of people around them - but only when those people are thinking about him. That’s unfortunately bad news for Thorin.

Year of Bagginshield

Admist the Snowfall- First Kiss/Fake Dating

Temporarily in Different Worlds- Long Distance/Mermaid

Acceptance Before Forgiveness- Road Trip/Getting Back Together

Peace Talks- University/Pranks

From the Seed of a Sunflower- Fantasy (Thumbelina AU)/Flower Language

Through the Pouring Rain, I'll Find You- Soulmate/Accidental Confession

Seeing Stars- Enemies to Lovers/Power Swap

A Storm is Coming- Time Travel/Blind Date

RANDOM DRABBLES

The Hobbit from the Mountains- (Part 1) Bilbo distracts Azog from killing Thorin by reminding him that he is the 'one who took away his victory'; (Part 2) Now that the battle is over, Bilbo has a choice to make: return home or stay forever with his dwarves? (Mulan AU)

The Dragon's Dentist- Bilbo walks into his next appointment to find the patient is a 14 foot tall, clinically depressed dragon with a gambling addiction. Only problem is he's a dentist.

One More Escape- Prison AU + Time Loop: Bilbo has been stuck in Mirkwood for a long time, and no matter what he does, he just recycles back before the spiders. He thinks he might just give up, but Thorin isn't going to let him.

The Yellow Socks- aka the day Thorin decided to be super dramatic

Bilbo and Thorin Feel a Kick- Fanfic of @ragsweas fic When the Sun Rises (mpreg)

[anneangel]

“I am Gandalf,” said the wizard.

“Never heard of” growled the man. “And what’s this little fellow?” he said, stooping down to frown at the hobbit with his bushy black eyebrows.

“That is Mr. Baggins, a hobbit of good family and unimpeachable reputation,” said Gandalf. Bilbo bowed. He had no hat to take off, and was painfully conscious of his many missing buttons. “I am a wizard,” continued Gandalf. “I have heard of you, if you have not heard of me; but perhaps you have heard of my good cousin Radagast who lives near the Southern borders of Mirkwood?”

“Yes; not a bad fellow as wizards go, I believe. I used to see him now and again” said Beorn.

Queer Lodgings chapter, BOOK QUOTE.

I find hilarious that Bilbo hides behind Gandalf in this scene on movie (Extended Edition).

'Next morning they were all wakened by Beorn himself. “So here you all are still!” he said. He picked up the hobbit and laughed: “Not eaten up by Wargs or goblins or wicked bears yet I see”; and he poked Mr. Baggins’ waistcoat most disrespectfully. “Little bunny is getting nice and fat again on bread and honey” he chuckled. “Come and have some more!”'

Queer Lodgings chapter, BOOK QUOTE.

Images of The Hobbit version illustrated by Jemima Catlin's and The Hobbit Graphic Novel version illustrated by Chuck Dixon.

... but I confess that I also wanted that part where Beorn suspends Bilbo in the air and says this! Haha.

Illustration by Alan Lee and Movie screenshot