#the kids are nappin'

[daemon-is-perfectly-unhinged]

Daemon: Where are the twins?

Viserys: Oh, they went out.

Daemon: ...but they're grounded.

Viserys:

Viserys: Are they not allowed to go out when they're grounded?

[hannahbarberra162]

Not My Monkey, Ch 1.

(Reverse Trope Isekai Reader)

I thought it would be funny to have a reverse trope -- instead of having one Isekai Reader who knows everything, too many isekai readers have already messed up the OP timeline beyond recognition.

I'm still writing all my other works, I just needed to get this out of my system. I don't think this will float most people's boats, but that OK.

on Ao3

Platonic Strawhats | Reader / Jinbei

This chapter's plot heavy, I had to get some of the world building out of the way. The rest will be more fun and silly / some romance / angst later. Also, this is my first time writing most (all?) of the Straw hats. It’s been challenging, so please be kind <3. There’s 10 of them but only one of me.

~~~

“Robin! Another one’s here!” Some kid in a straw hat was yelling right next to you, causing you to wince. You had a massive headache, you hadn’t felt this hungover since…wait. You didn’t drink anymore. You opened your eyes to a sunny day on…a wood boat? You were definitely sailing on open water. Maybe the ocean since you smelled salt… What kind of dream was this? Sure, you had anxiety dreams of drowning but nothing so pleasant .

A disembodied hand grabbed your ankle and held on tightly. It startled you but since this was a dream there was no need to worry. You were kind of enjoying the sun and the water, so what was a hand (with beautiful nail beds, but dry cuticles) going to do? You turned your head to find a black haired boy staring at you inches from your face.

“Gah! Don’t do that!” you said to the boy. He grinned at you and laughed.

“Shishishishi, it’s me! Luffy! You made it!” 

“Made it where?” Were you supposed to know who he was?

“To the Going Merry! You’re our twentieth reader -”

“Twenty third,” said another guy you hadn’t seen. This one was napping against the mast, talking with eyes still closed. He had luscious green hair that you’d want to check out later. You didn’t see any roots showing so either he had dyed it recently or…oh wait you were in a conversation.

“Sounds good, Loogie. I’m not quite following what’s happening.” This was the most complex dream you’d ever had. You’d never been able to interact like this before in a dream. It all felt like real life. You started to wonder if maybe something else was going on.

“Shishishi it’s LUFFY! But you know that! So what was the last thing you read?” The boy was still sitting incredibly close to you and practically vibrating with energy. 

“Um, I read a biography of Catherine the Great. Why?” Luffy tilted his head at your words.

“Is she in Egghead or Wano?” 

“Um, in Russia? I don’t think she’d be called an egghead though.” The green haired guy huffed and got up.

“Gonna be a difficult one. Robin can figure it out. Nappin’ on the other side of the deck,” he said to Luffy, walking away. He looked like he was flexing his back as you watched him retreat. His three swords clacked against each other, making you wonder how practical it was to have so many.

“No, she’s gonna be a great reader!” Luffy smiled at you again. You smiled back, but were very confused. The hand gripping your ankle was still there holding on tight. A breathtakingly beautiful woman with black hair, looking to be growing out some bangs, was walking towards you with her arms crossed in front of her. Even though she exuded radiance, her intense blue eyes pinned you with a stare. She sat down in front of you, keeping her arms crossed.

“Hello,” you said. Might as well be polite in dreamland.

“Hi,” the woman said smiling. “I’m Robin. What’s your name?”

Long ago, you were tired of baristas messing up your name (even though it wasn’t hard!). So when someone asked for your name, you supplied their own back to them. It usually worked out ok, and gave room for some awkward chit chat while you waited for your coffee.

“Isn’t that funny? My name is also Robin.” The woman quirked an eyebrow but kept her smile and nodded.

“Shishishishi two Robins! But what can we call you then? It’s too confusing having two Robins on board.” Luffy rubbed his chin in thought. 

“Interesting thought, Captain. For now, I have a prepared document I’d like you to read. It should answer the most common questions we get asked by Readers.” The woman handed you a scroll. What in the medieval ages was this?

“Robin TWO!” Luffy said, snapping his fingers. You untied the scroll. Might as well see what it said.

“I don’t think Robin 2 is a flattering name,” Robin told Luffy. “Let’s think of other ideas. In the meantime, let Robin read.” The hand patted your ankle. “It’s best if I keep a hold of you until the shock wears off. Saves a lot of time chasing people down.” She kept a hold of you? Whatever. Looking at the scroll, you saw an elegantly handwritten list.

~~~

Frequently Asked Questions - for Readers

Where am I?

You are on board the Going Merry . Franky has modified it so it does not bear complete resemblance to the original ship but it is also not the 1,000 Sunny .

Is this real?

Quite real. This world is as real to us as yours was to you. This is not a dream, hallucination, or simulation.

Am I dead?

We are not sure. It seems to be likely based on the anecdotes of previous Readers. However, there is no way to know conclusively.

Why was I brought here?

We do not know the criteria under which Readers are brought to our world. We believe it has to do with your intense love of “One Piece.”

What happened to my belongings?

It seems whatever you had last in your world is what came here, with a few exceptions. Cell phones, laptops, and other electronics never make it to our world. We have your belongings on the ship, if you would like to have them.

What will happen to me? Can I stay on the ship?

Readers have stayed in our world for 21 days, after which they disappear. We do not know what happens afterward. During your 21 days, you will remain with us on the ship. You may stay in the men’s quarters.

Is there a way to get back to my world?

Not that we know of. We are unsure if you are transported there once again when you disappear. 

Are there other readers?

There is only ever one Reader in our world at a time. The Strawhat Pirates have had the most Readers, though the Heart Pirates and Whitebeard Pirates have had a few as well.

What arc are we on?

The “timeline” that you know has been completely abandoned. With so much additional information and insight into future events, the events of this world have been drastically changed. We are not in recognizable “arcs” any longer.

What about Ace? Thatch? Whitebeard? Corazon? Sabo?

Thanks to the information supplied by Readers, Ace, Thatch and Whitebeard are all alive. Yamato has joined the Whitebeard crew with Ace. We had a time traveling Reader who saved Cora-san. Sabo has been made aware of Ace and Luffy and they have already reunited.

Can I fight? In our experience, Readers are quite weak and unable to fight. If you wish to try, you must first defeat Usopp in an arm wrestling contest.

Note: Please do not bring up our individual histories. We experienced them as real people and do not appreciate discussing them. Thank you.

~~~

You finished reading the scroll and re-rolled it. It addressed some of your concerns, but also had a lot of information you didn’t know what to do with. You handed the scroll back to Robin.

“You should call this the ‘Handbook for the Recently Deceased,” you told the raven haired beauty. You still had your sense of humor even when dead, it turned out. Er, maybe dead.

“That is quite an excellent suggestion, I think I shall,” Robin nodded solemnly and took the scroll with another arm sprouting from her own. You’d ask her about that later. 

“What questions do you still have?” Robin asked kindly.

“Why do I have to stay in the men’s quarters?” 

“Oh, that is not applicable to you. Nearly all of our Readers have been men, usually Torao has the female Readers. You can join Nami and myself in the women’s quarters.” 

“I’m dead then, huh?” You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea, especially when you felt so alive. 

“Robin B!” Luffy shouted from a few feet away. He still hadn’t given up on a nickname for you.

“No, Luffy, I don’t care for that,” Robin said calmly. “That would make me Robin A, which I am not. And yes, you are likely dead.” 

“That’s a bummer.” You’d think about that and deal with your feelings later, this was all too weird to believe right now. You fiddled with the necklace you were wearing. None of this felt real at all. Besides, one of your best traits as a person was your ability to roll with things. You had always been pretty open to change, though this change was…drastic.

“Interesting - few readers express that emotion upon arriving in our world. Readers are usually thrilled to be here with us.” Robin looked like she wanted to study you in a lab.

“Um, so what’s a Reader? Or a One Piece?” You might as well learn while you were here for the next few weeks. 

“You don’t have to be afraid,” Robin said, the hand patting your ankle. “We aren’t going to harm you for your information. We’ve probably heard it all already. We know that we’re a comic and a show in your world. You’re not in danger.” You hadn’t considered that you might be in danger, but you were thinking about it now.

“TWO Robin!” Luffy yelled from across the deck. He’d been pacing and trying to think of a good nickname this whole time.

“Luffy, that is the worst suggestion yet.” Robin frowned. 

“Aw, you don’t like any of ‘em! This is frustrating. Maybe we can just call her Mystery Reader !” 

“Not every reader is a Mystery Reader, Luffy. You can’t say that for -” Robin was chastising Luffy.

“Myst is fine. Short for Mystery.” You didn’t really care what they called you since, you know, you’d be going to the afterlife in about three weeks.

“ Shishishishishi I knew you’d be a good reader, Misty!” Luffy stretched his arms from where he stood to wrap them around you. Misty, sure. That was similar to what you said. What the…was this kid rubber? Add one more weird thing to the pile, why not? 

“What other questions do you have?”

You were gonna put your cards on the table. “Listen Robin, I’ll be honest, I didn’t get a lot out of your handbook. I don’t know any of those people, or any of you, or what this show is. I don’t know why I’m here, I have no information to give you. I watch documentaries and sometimes HGTV. This is like a new employee orientation for a job I didn’t apply to. ” Robin nodded sagely.

“I quite like that phrase - new employee orientation. Perhaps more of a ‘new reader orientation.’ In any event, you’re here with us now, whether you know any information or not. I am going to release you, and you can get settled in.” The hand holding on to you vanished as you watched. 

“Cool party trick.” 

“Yes, they are very useful, though not always appreciated at parties.” Robin stood up and you did the same. You stretched your legs and back as you’d been sitting for a while. Robin was a tall drink of water, you thought. You were average height, nothing crazy. But she was statuesque and slim, making you think of your own body. Sure, you had some self confidence, but as you approached closer to middle age, things didn’t look quite the same as they once did. And Robin looked like a supermodel, graceful and elegant.

“Do I hear the sweet voice of a lovely Mellorine?” said a handsome waiter, holding a glass of water on a tray. He was practically swooning and you’d never met before. A little strange, but maybe he was just enthusiastic. Robin looked at the waiter, who was wearing a three piece suit.

“This is Sanji, our chef. He is also one of the Wings to the Captain.” 

“Oh, sweet Mellorine -” 

“Wait, who is the Captain?” You cut off Sanji, you realized you didn’t know who was running this show.

Sanji’s expression showed surprise. He looked at Robin for clarification, pausing in moving the tray your way to your dismay. You really wanted that water.

“Misty, as Captain calls her, does not know anything about our world. We will all have to introduce ourselves.” 

“Wait, does that mean Luffy is -”

“The Captain,” answered Robin and Sanji simultaneously. That kid?! The one who suggested they call you “Two Robin”? You didn’t say anything so as not to insult their captain or whatever but the kid didn’t look like he could be older than 18. Not your circus, not your monkey. As long as the ship didn’t sink in the next three weeks, it didn’t really matter to you.

“Right, right. That seems…good. Um, Sanji, is that water for me? I’d really appreciate it.” Sanji looked like you’d asked him to senior prom.

“Oh, dear, sweet, beautiful Misty, it would be an honor to serve you this water.” He bowed to you with a flourish. Alright, time to nip this in the bud.

“Look kid, I’m old enough to be your mother. Cut it out. But thank you for the water.” He deflated a little but not for long. 

“Like wine, most women only get better with age,” he said with a charming smile. “As Robin mentioned, I am Sanji, the chef on our crew. Do you have any dietary restrictions?” 

“Oh, I’ll eat anything you make.” 

“Is that so? Truly, no restrictions? Preferences? Allergies?” For all his attempted flirting before, he seemed serious right now. 

“Well, truthfully, I’m vegetarian. So, no meat.” Sanji nodded, smiling once again.

“Not a problem. Do you eat fish?”

“Ah, no. No animals.” You saw a rubber arm going past you as Luffy rocketed himself to your side. Rubber had its uses it seemed.

“You don’t eat meat?!” Luffy yelled into your face, completely incredulous.

“Nope, haven’t in over 20 years.” You moved your head back away from his. Kid didn’t have much need for personal space.

“What do you eat then!?” It was like the kid couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of not eating meat. You shrugged. You’d had this conversation in various forms many, many times before.

“Vegetables, fruit, grains, legumes, things like that.” Luffy furrowed his brow in thought for a moment before it cleared into a bright smile.

“SANJI - can I have Misty’s portion of meat??” 

“No! If she doesn’t eat it, I’m not going to make more than usual.”

“But she’s our reader, you have to make her a portion! Then I can have it.” 

“But if she won’t eat it, I won’t make an extra portion,” Sanji already looked exasperated.

“But I want it!” Luffy was on the verge of a tantrum, you thought.

“No! You already eat all the food! Besides, if she doesn’t eat meat… ” The two of them seemed to be entering into an argument about meat rations, so you’d bow out of this conversation. It was only getting louder as they argued in circles. 

You drank your water and took a look around you for the first time. The ship seemed pleasant, though not very modern. There weren’t any electrical outlets or lights, and not much metal either. It was powered by wind, as you saw the giant sails. Maybe there wasn’t electricity here? You’d ask Robin later. Your eyes wandered up and you saw a giant jolly roger flag, the skeleton wearing a hat.

“So this is a pirate ship, huh?” The fighting made a little more sense now. Not that you wanted to. You’d let them handle that part of the afterlife. It made you a little nervous and you fidgeted with your necklace. A handsome young man wearing overalls and goggles locked eyes with you while holding your hair dryer. The next thing you noticed was that he had the most beautiful, long, luscious natural coils you’d ever seen in your life. It took everything in you not to ask him his wash day routine before you exchanged names. “Hey! That’s mine!” you yelled at him. You were protective of your tools, they were like your babies. The man looked scared for a moment, then apologetic. 

“Sorry, I just got excited. I’ve never seen a machine like this before. What does it do?” He was turning it over in his hands, looking at the barrel. He was holding it like a precious treasure, touching it with care. At least he could appreciate machinery.

“It’s a hairdryer.” Your guess that they didn’t have electricity seemed to have more merit now. Which meant he air dried all that hair every time? Coily King. 

“Interesting! How does it work? Obviously the electricity feeds through the cord, other readers have had corded things before -”

“Usopp! Where’s the new reader? I wanna see if they have pens!” An unbelievably sexy young woman wearing a tiny string bikini came up from below deck, her bright orange hair blowing in the breeze. Was every person on this ship attractive? How did her boobs defy gravity like that? You looked down at your own, hopeful that whatever force was keeping hers up might be helping yours. No dice. 

“Hi, I’m the new reader?” You extended your hand, which she shook. The woman smiled back at you.

“I’m Nami, Robin told me you don’t know anything about our world. So, the way it works here is that everyone pays a daily fee to stay on the boat. It’s 100 Beri a day. That’s how we afford to maintain the ship in tip top condition.” You could smell bullshit a mile away - you’d been working customer service jobs on and off for decades. You decided to play along to see what happened.

“Oh, of course. But how will I get money? I guess I’ll have to sell some of my belongings…” You pursed your lips for dramatic effect. “I know! I have some pens, I could sell those for…what was it you said? 1,000 Beri each?” Nami smiled even wider, a classic mistake. 

“Well, what’s money among friends? And besides, it’s not like you can take anything back with you. We have a lot of reader stuff left on the ship.” You paused, pretending to consider for a moment. 

“Hmm. You’re right. Maybe I’ll just drop them all in the sea. Y’know, like a, funeral. Since, I guess mine’s already happening. Maybe.” You didn’t want to think about your funeral, it had been a nightmare to figure everything out when your dad died. You felt bad for whoever was arranging it, probably your sister. You were zoned out thinking for a moment, and snapped back when Nami said something. “I’m sorry, I missed that. What did you ask me?”

“What kind of pens do you have?” Nami had taken the bait, hook line and sinker. You doubled down.

“I’d be willing to show them to you, for a price.” She raised an eyebrow, then broke it with a sincere smile.

“Welcome aboard! I’m the navigator for the crew, it’s nice to meet you. You’ll be staying with me and Robin, I hope you’ll have a fun time with us. Now about those pens…” You smiled at her introduction.

“Thank you, and I’d be glad to show you what I have. I’ve always got at least a couple on me. Where’s my stuff? We can see what’s there.” 

“Follow me, it’s probably in the crows nest. That’s where reader stuff usually appears.” She started walking toward a ladder that led up to a platform high in the sky. High, high in the sky. 

“Hell no!” you exclaimed. “I’m not going up there!” Usopp and Nami looked askance at each other.

“Why not?” asked Usopp, still holding the hair dryer like it was a puppy he was cuddling.

“I’m afraid of heights.” Not that unusual of a fear, you didn’t even like diving off the 3 meter diving board at the pool. They looked at each other again. You felt like you were in middle school again, asking to sit at the cool kids table. 

“That’s OK, I’ll go get it for you.” Usopp handed you the hairdryer and climbed the ladder. Nice, you got to sit with them. Score one for you. 

~~~ 

The last thing you remembered from your regular life was walking home from work, rolling your train case with you. You always took everything home with you, even though you trusted the salon you were working for. Force of habit after so many years. You didn’t remember anything after that, though it would be ironic if you got hit by a car. 

Usopp kindly carried your things down from the crows nest. It was weird seeing your train case and purse on a wooden pirate ship, like when you saw a Timex in a historical movie. You heard a distant crash and looked over. The green haired guy was fighting Sanji, both of them looked pretty angry. The green haired guy was using his three swords against Sanji’s kicking? Must have strong legs. Maybe all the fighting was with each other. Nami and Usopp didn’t even look up.

“Ooh, what’s in here? Treasure? I’ve never seen something like this before. Most readers have backpacks or purses.” Nami was eyeing your train case greedily.

“No, it’s for my haircutting tools, makeup, manicure supplies, things like that.” You’d been an esthetician for a long time, though you’d done other jobs here and there. Nami threaded her fingers together in delight.

“You’re a hairdresser?! And you do nails?! Big sister, you’re the best reader yet! Most of our readers are in eye-tea. Would you cut my hair?” Oh, she meant IT. Information technology. Made sense, lots of people worked in IT. You’d never really gotten all that good at computers, so that wasn’t something you’d ever pursued.

“I mean, yeah, we can talk about that.” Even in the afterlife, everyone wanted a haircut when they found out you were a hairdresser. “Speaking of, Usopp, you have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen.” Usopp looked flustered, like he wasn’t used to compliments. That surprised you, he was clearly smart, well muscled, helpful…if you were 20 years younger you’d have been all over him. Or maybe even 10. But he looked like he couldn’t be older than 20 and that really didn’t do it for you. You liked your men with their prefrontal cortex fully developed. Besides, you hadn’t dated for a long time. In fact, aside from Robin, everyone looked really young. You wondered if there were any other older people on board. Even Robin looked like she couldn’t have been older than 35 at the most.

“So, what do you do here?” It seemed like everyone had a specific job on board, might as well find out. 

“Well, I’m the great Captain Usopp, and I am one of the bravest and most notorious pirates on the seas. I’ve defeated -”

“Wait, I thought Luffy was the Captain.” Usopp’s train of thought was paused.

“Oh, he’s the Captain of this crew because I felt bad for him after I single handedly defeated a pirate fleet of 5,000 men. It was easy too, let me tell you the story…” Usopp went off on a long tale about his (obviously fake) adventures on the seas. But he was funny and entertaining and a really good story teller. You touched his arm to pause his story as he was explaining how he defeated a giant with a flaming sword.

“Listen, Usopp, if you ever want, I’ll style your hair for you. Braid out, cornrows, twist out, whatever you want.” You wished you could take a before and after picture for your business Insta, but based on what Robin had told you, your phone hadn’t made it through the…portal? Er, however you got here. You didn’t offer a fade or anything that would have you cut it - it was too gorgeous to cut. 

“Hmm, maybe I’ll take you up on that - I’ve been wanting a new look recently,” Usopp mused. Nami was pouting, you didn’t want to upset her. “Same for you, uh, little sister, I’d gladly style your beautiful orange hair. I’ve never seen a shade like it.” You hadn’t, it was like the shade of an actual orange. Nami was appeased.

“Thank you Big Sis, I’d love to do something with all this.” It looked like she was growing out a bob, and it was in that awkward transition stage. You could help style it a little better, whoever had been cutting it did a good job, just needed a few pointers.

~~~

A little while later and the sun was in its descent. You were still with Usopp, sitting on the deck. Nami had gone off to do some work, saying she’d see you later. He’d told you a few funny stories before he asked to see the electrical esthetician tools you had in your case. He was most interested in the nail drill, asking question after question. At some point, you didn’t have answers for him. You knew the basics of how it worked but your recollection of electron transfer was weak. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Sanji called. Perfect timing, you were getting hungry. Usopp helped you up and you headed to the galley. 

“How many people are on the ship?” you asked. You’d met five of them, not including the green haired man who didn’t introduce himself. 

“There’s ten of us, eleven including you. We’re a small but strong crew.” Usopp flexed his arm.

“By the way, I’m not going to arm wrestle you. I know my strengths, and fighting isn’t one of them.” Usopp looked relieved. “Not that I’d win anyway,” you continued, “you look strong. But I’ll let you handle the fighting.” Usopp smiled at your last statement. You wanted to compliment Usopp when you could, he seemed like he needed it. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve won every arm wrestling competition I’ve ever had. Let me tell you the time when I arm wrestled a giant octopus and won against every tentacle…” You smiled to yourself and walked to the galley together. Entering through the swinging door, you saw a large table filled with nine other people. Well, mostly people. There was also a skeleton, an android looking guy, and a gigantic blue man - merman? And speaking of the merman, holy shit. 

You’d spent time babysitting your nieces and had seen every Disney princess movie that had ever been released in the last 60 years. Their favorites were “Frozen,” and “Moana,” which was the better of the two. You found the polynesian demi-god to be…appealing. At least more than the white bread Cristoff. And that merman looked like Maui had decided to grow a meter and get more muscled. And turn blue. He was huge - maybe 3 meters tall - and you wanted to climb him like a tree. Did that make you a pervert? Maybe, but it was a gut reaction. You weren’t going to act on it. Besides, you weren’t blind, you could appreciate a good looking person when you saw one. He looked like he was around your age, or at least older than the group of younguns you’d met. Maybe the afterlife had its perks after all. 

[ddejavvu]

mei i absolutely CANNOT wait for another day do you think we can get a little snippet of love to lie part 3 just to keep us going pretty please with sugar on top? 🥺

so the thing about love to lie part three 😭 IT'S NOT DONE. i feel so fucking bad, especially because of how sweet everyone has been about parts one and two, but i thought when i posted part one surely i'll have enough time in two weeks to finish part three!! and i was mostly correct!! i finished damn near all of it!! i only have one scene left to write!! and i have a good chunk of time tonight, and i have a habit of waiting until the last minute and absolutely powering through my deadlines, so there's still a good chance it'll be posted totally on schedule, but just in case it's not, please accept this snippet as apology and compensation 😭 i hope you enjoy and i'm sorry for not keeping up my end of the bargain! at most you'll have to wait a day or two more, but i'm hoping i can pull through on time :')

--

You rush back to the bed with the cover of the photo album already cracked, though you show it off with a gooey grin, “You were enamored with me from the moment you saw me, Brad.”

“Of course I was,” He laughs, ringing his arm around your neck to hug you tight to his side while you flip to the first page. He peers at your scrunched-up baby face, vague memories of kissing your nose flashing through his mind from when you were younger, and it was the only thing that could get you to stop crying.

“You’ve always been the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” He swipes a finger over a photo of you together, stroking it along your cheek where he was feeding you mushed-up green beans. “See? I was so entranced I didn’t even notice you were about to kick me.”

He points to your tiny foot, clothed in a onesie with dogs on it, and poised ready to fire. You’d bet money that right after the photo had been taken, you had launched your foot into his knee, and you hope little Bradley wasn’t brought to tears over it. 

“Sorry, baby,” You hum, voice just as sticky-sweet as your kiss is against his cheek. He leans into it, and you’re not expecting him to, so you smear a bit more spit over his face than you’d intended. However, when you laugh incredulously and try to wipe it off, he wriggles away from your shirtsleeve, insisting on keeping the mark.

“No! I fell out of the sky three days ago,” Bradley gripes, head held high, “I get to keep all of the gross kisses you give me.”

“I’d launch a gross kiss attack if I wasn’t worried about hurting your ribs,” You lament, settling back into his side, “Oh, Brad, look at this one!”

It was your first halloween together. Bradley’s sporting a yellow hat in the picture, with bear ears on top, and a red shirt over his chubby baby belly. His pants are the same shade as his hat, and you’re the Piglet to his Winnie the Pooh as you sit in a pink onesie and matching ear-hat in his lap.

You tug the photo out of its sleeve, reading Carole’s neat inscription on the back: Bradley cried just a few minutes after we took this, because we looked away for a second and when we turned back he was feeding Y/N a snickers bar. We didn’t mean to yell, but we freaked out and spooked him, and he wouldn’t stop crying unless we told him he could finish the rest of the bar. Winnie the Pooh does NOT like raised voices.

“Crybaby,” You tease, and Bradley groans.

“I was a kid! They yelled at me! Of course I cried!”

“Poor baby, you just wanted to feed me chocolate,” You croon, turning sympathetic at the sight of his exasperated brown eyes, “You’ve always been good to me, Brad.”

“Always,” He promises, squeezing you tighter, then pointing at the next page over, “Aw, look at that. They dressed you up as the turkey for thanksgiving.”

“We fell asleep in front of the fire,” You recall, not from memory but from the stories you’ve been told, and the pictures you’d seen, “We were both milk drunk and stuffed from dinner.”

“Still nappin’ together all these years later,” Bradley grins, leaning in to brush his nose against yours.

“Let’s nap together forever,” You sigh as you nestle your cheek back against his arm.

[mof-rot]

They nappin

They nappin like the gay kids they are

My art style makes everyone look so young jfc my aim was for them to be in late Highschool but they look way younger sighhh

[vgbossthemes]

The Unholy Moley Underworld bully I will crush those who oppose me Just like mummy told me My ambitions are cavernous My motto is avarice With loot I get so amourous For gold I am ravenous

My manner is bombastic My statements, sarcastic My flow's pyroclastic My legend's dynastic When I rise like Lazarus My odour is always hazardous Your skill is at best average There's no way you can handle this

Noticed your moves are atrocious So focus Hopeless Is what you are Now bow down to a true star Voice like thunder I leave the earth drawn asunder So don't make a blunder You'll be six feet under You better hide under covers I do what I wanna

Did your feelings get hurt Step up girl you better stay alert Or you'll be nappin up in that dirt Fortissimole and I'm puttin in the work I hope you like this room Cause now it will be your tomb All your plans I will ruin If you don't play to my tune

I thought you were gonna dig deep You sure didn't Must be kidding Now you can't make a peep Fortissimole in these streets Pause for the call From the windows to the walls See victory is not yours I came for the roars and applause And you are the main course

Victory is mine

[brooklynislandgirl]

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Things That Make You Squirm || Accepting

"I said you could aks me a question, an' dat's technically two.” Of course she’s ribbing him, and will continue to do so because she’s trying to make him laugh. She never sees him do that. “First answer…depend on wha’ I’m doin’ right? Kitchen counter for makin’ san’wish, or salad, or openin’ a can of cat food for a particularly greedy boy who know beddah dan t’ jump up on it. Couch f’ watchin’ tv, playin’ games, readin’, knittin’, nappin’. I mean dat really is da mos’ versatile. Also, no tell da dryer, but it makes beddah place t’ fold laundry, too. Speakin’ of which, you should go pull yours out of it. So I can put mine in. An’ dryer is bes’ place t’ get naked cause ya don’ wanna wear your scrubs for one more minute an’ heaven f’bid you strip out of dem once you get inside because your braddah will start screamin’ at you like you’re guilty of committin’ war crimes. An I mean…if you’re inside ya own hale, den who cares if ya in ya underwear?” She half grins but then it dies, not only on her lips but in her eyes and she hides it away by picking up the laundry basket with the sheets and towel, padding barefoot down the hall toward the laundry room. Her loft is the size of literal mansions, the whole place takes up the entire fifth floor of the six story building that she and Andy own. Her only roommate is her brother. They’ve mentioned maybe letting him take one of the open units below, but first they want to make sure there aren’t any legal problems. Her already small voice is even softer now. “Las’ sexual encountah legitimately was…almos’ ten years ago. I uhm…I was in med school. I’d managed to match at my teaching hospital, an’ was lucky enough to have my favourite teacher be my mentor. Now in my own defense, he was probably da first man who wasn’t Andy an’ wasn’t a shark, dat I ever fell in love wi’. An’ after spendin’ so many years at his side, learning an’ growin’ an’ becomin’ friends…I had a fantasy. I…I tried to explore dat fantasy on my own…” Her normally preternatural grace is lacking as she drags things from the washer and putting it in a second, empty basket. It’s almost angry. What it really is though is embarrassment. One stupid mistake that changed the entire course of her life and only managed to make the Admiral disdain her further. “I dunno if it’s because I did it wrong, or if I’m jus’ not capable of actually uhm…you know. What happens when ya done…doin’ dat… But I made da mistake of writin’ it down in my journal. An’ next time I had t’ present my notes to a room full of med students and doctahs? Someone had slipped in da wrong slides into my presentation. I stood dere talkin’ about kids wi’ cancer, an’ behind me, every feelin’ and every uhm…physically romantic thought I had about his hands and his mouth…right behind me in big bold lettahs.” She laughs but there’s something very broken about it. “An’ dat is da day I quit medical school t’ become a nurse somewhere away from him, an’ how I decided sex is not somet’ing I really need or want. And discovered dat Africa was a very beautiful an’ culturally diverse place.”

[lightvsdark18]

My response to some voicelines (Leona)

Feels like everything the light touches belongs to me.

("Are you serious?")

I wasn't hot to trot about gettin' buddy-buddy with an herbivore, but this's gettin' more 'n more interesting. I'll keep you around as long as you don't cause me any trouble.

Same goes for you. Don't be annoying and I'll stay around.

Sit in front of me in class. Then I can take a nap behind ya.

*Sits far away from him if possible*

Just throw in whatever.

And cause an explosion? Yeah, no.

What, you didn't know that one?

I wouldn't say anything if I did.

School uniform

Ruggie was lookin' for me? Probably nothin' important. Don't worry about it.

And what if it is important?

If you're free, you should take a nap. That'll kill as much time as you want.

If I take a nap, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight... unless you have a way to tire me out tonight. Leona, I'm joking! I'm joking!

What're you starin' at? You wanted to see me? Hah, aren't you the smooth-talker.

I'm also a flirt, but I'll behave.

Man, I'm famished. Hey, bring me somethin' to eat. Don't worry, I'll share my leftovers with you.

I don't want to get up.

I hate clothes that feel restrictive. Who cares if I wear things loose?

... *Tickles his bare chest*

Honestly, most of your life's decided for you from the moment you're born. There's no point in workin' hard.

I really doubt that.

P.E. uniform

I'm not one to turn down a competition. I'll take you on anytime.

You think I would challenge you?

Did a braid come loose? Hurry 'n tie it back up for me, then.

I suck at braiding, it's better to do it yourself.

Labwear

The botanical garden has the perfect temperature for nappin'. You feel me, right?

I don't know about a nap, but it does feel comfortable.

Can't you basically figure out what's in somethin' just by givin' it a sniff?

Sniffing random chemicals may cause harm to you.

I'm lookin' for a good place to take a snooze. Lemme borrow Ramshackle Dorm for a bit.

No.

Achoo! Hey, you. You spread some weird pollen around the botanical garden, didn't ya? Sweep it outside.

No, if you don't want to be bothered by pollen, then don't sleep in the garden.

You want me to teach you? Hah. You must be in real deep water if you're comin' to me.

Or I think you're smart and could help me.

Ugh, you reek of chemicals. Hurry and take a bath or somethin' to get the smell out.

Give me a hug first.

Ceremonial robes

*Yaaawn* Hey, let's go take a nap somewhere.

No, shush.

What's after this? How should I know?

You're a dorm leader...

And now the profs are gonna drone on for forever. *Sigh* I can't take this.

Stop complaining.

Wow, even you almost look the part with those robes on. Heh heh. Don't get so mad. I was joking.

>:(

No one's gonna notice if one or two people go missin'. Let's ditch.

No, because with my luck they'll notice I'm missing.

You're always so dang diligent. Don't you ever get tired?

What do you think, Leona?

Dorm uniform

I never let my prey escape. But I'm in a good mood right now, so I guess I won't eat you this once.

... What?

I'll show you what it means to lead a pack.

I'm not really- *drags them along*

Ramshackle Dorm's a pretty nice place. It's empty, abandoned... Perfect spot for a snooze.

Until you get cold or hear the wind howling through the cracks.

If you need help, tell Ruggie. He'll pass it on to me if he thinks it's necessary.

Okay, I'll ask you immediately.

You're pretty relaxed around me for a herbivore. Aren't you scared at all?

Hm, not really. You're comfortable and warm.

Back at home, scars are proof of your bravery. I hear the King of Beasts had a big one on his left eye.

What does my scars say? Cause I know they ain't bravery.

Hey, get your hands off of me. I hate clingy people. You're not a kid, y'know.

Oh, excuse me for being touch starved... Leona, no.

You need to relax more. Try gettin' to the point where you sleep away your afternoons.

I napped and relaxed too much back home. I need to make up for lost time.

Gala couture

You like my look?

Yeah, you look really nice.

There were plenty of people back home who were all too happy to nitpick my fashion choices. You wouldn't do that, though...right?

Yeah, you can wear whatever the hell you want.

The wealthy families of the Scalding Sands are way richer than royalty in other lands. If you wanna butter someone up, Kalim's your best bet, not me.

I'm not trying to butter you up, I honestly find you attractive... Stop smirking at me.

Outdoor wear

The club guys can handle this camping stuff without me. And if they can't, they deserve what's comin' to 'em.

You're a jerk.

Floyd's one slippery guy. Fightin' him ain't worth it. Just ignore him if he tries to start somethin' with you.

Kinda hard to do when he grabs you from behind and swings you around.

Have I ever been camping before? You do remember I'm royalty, right?

I meant since you came to the school, had a friend or dorm member who invited you out before?

Why do you have a piece of charcoal?...You call THAT grilled fish? I hope you weren't thinkin' of offering me some.

I'm not offering, I'm demanding you eat this. (In a joking tone)

Stop tuggin' at my sleeves. I don't care how uneven the footing is....Are you actually scared?

No, don't look at me like that. I'm unsettled by this whole thing.

Halloween

I'll show you how fearsome pirates can be.

I rather you didn't.

You know that Cater guy? He said my eye patch is "cute meets edgy." What kind of compliment is that?

*Shrugs*

A ghost once blew my cover when I was hiding from some Savanaclaw students. That ghost sure never made that mistake again.

First off, you're a jerk. Second off, why were you hiding from your students?

Just close your eyes if you're afraid of the dark.

How is closing my eyes going to help? You're scared of the dark? Well, put yourself in more darkness. Also, I'm not scared of the dark, I'm scared what's in the dark.

Never trust guys like Jade who've always got a smile glued to their face. It's guys like me you can count on to be honest.

*Squints eyes*

Huh? You think candy'll make me happy? If you're gonna give me food, at least make it something more filling.

*Takes candy back and turns to walk away*

Curious about the sword? The hilt's got a jellyfish design. You can hold it if you like, but don't swing it around.

What's the point of a sword if you can't swing it?

Ohhh nooo, I'm so scared… C'mon, what were you expecting? It was cute. Like a kitten pouncing on me.

F you.

Are you gonna hand over your treasure the easy way, or the hard way? I'll let you decide. I'm generous like that.

... You don't want me to answer that question.

[triple-aaa-batteries-pkm]

WHO SPRAY PAINTED THE MANAGER

SOME SHIT ASS KIDS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A STATUE WHEN IT WAS NAPPIN

[lauralifeleaf]

Another Problem: Chapter 16

I wanted to try something different in this chapter, and I might stick with it from now on. I also wanted to thank you for reading my disaster of a book. I am hoping that I can eventually get to the main event of the story, but until then, enjoy the filler chapters and such. ❤️ Laura

~3rd Person POV~

"Well, that could have gone better," mumbled Montgomery as he walked out of one of the private party rooms. The tip of his tail flicked irritatingly as he attempted to get frosting out of his hair, sunglasses, and leather jacket. He loved kids, but sometimes he wanted to punt them across the room. Especially if they were spoiled brats, which so happened to be the birthday kid.

Monty grumbled as he walked and attempted to clean his hair of now-dried vanilla frosting, glaring and snarling at staff who snickered at his state. He was unsure if he should just head back to his greenroom or see if he could get Sun to help him. He decided on the latter, changing his course towards the entrance of the daycare.

He could have asked Ivan to help him, but he already had enough embarrassment for one day. Especially after Violet practically manhandled him earlier this morning. He still couldn't get over the look she gave him. Who knew she could be scary, even if she had no control, but didn't think it would be that terrifying?

Arriving at the entrance of the daycare, he opened the door with ease, making sure his tail didn't get hit when it closed behind him. It was surprisingly quiet, but that was probably due to it being nap time. He honestly wouldn't mind sleeping if he wasn't on the clock. Lucky bastards.

It didn't take long to hear the familiar bells come rushing over. "Why hello, hello! What brings you to the daycare today, my scaled friend?" asked Sunny with a smile on his face. He had a frilly pastel yellow apron with stickers and glitter glue decorated on it. The apron was over his jester outfit, and his sun headband was replaced with a chef's hat. "Got somethin' to deal with dried frostin', bud? Can't get the shit out of my hair, and I rather not have to trash this jacket."

"First of all, mind your language in the daycare!" Sun scolded him, his hands on his hips. Monty rolled his eyes as he continued, "Second, I am more than happy to help. Just be quiet when we pass Naptime Palace. We started naptime a couple of minutes ago, and Violet and the children are asleep." Sun swore he saw the tip of his friend's tail wag at the mention of the elf. "Wait, why's she nappin'? Ain't she supposed to be helpin' ya?" asked the gator as he followed his friend.

Sunny frowned as he came to a halt. He turned around to face him as he fidgeted with the collar of his sleeves."I-it's not my place to say why b-but..." "Sunny?" a quiet voice interrupted the jester, making them both look at the sound of the voice. There stood the elf herself, hair a mess and undone, rubbing her eyes while Chip stood on her shoulder. Her button-up shirt was slightly off her shoulder, which exposed her musical heart marking. "Starlight, you should be resting," Sun scolded with a  frown as he walked over to her.

Monty watched in confusion and slight jealousy as he picked her up like a child and held her as she rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. Chip had opted to go explore elsewhere as he scurried towards the entrance. "I know, but you know that I'll end up sleeping til midnight if I do. So, I decided to rest while I recharge, then come help you with whatever you need," she explain, yawning towards the end.

Violet was still powering up her systems, so she was a bit loopy and unaware of her surroundings, which could end up with her getting hurt or breaking something. Sunny sighed as he turned to Monty and motioned him to follow, keeping Violet in her arms. "Is this normal for ya, bud? Last time I checked, ya both weren't on good terms," Monty asked, holding back a territorial growl when he saw her begin playing with the fluff of his collar with a derpy smile.

Sun shrugged, "We made up before her lockdown, and she likes to be held sometimes. Helps calm her nerves knowing that she's not alone." "Especially after a bully session," she stated nonchalantly, making Monty hold back a snarl that could wake the children nearby. Sun halted as he reached for the hidden door leading to his room, placing Violet down and grabbing her face to look for injuries. "Oh, my stars! Did they hurt you? Who are they? Do I need to have Mr. Mark involved?" Sun spouted questions as Violet processed what she said.

Once it clicked, her eyes went wide, and her ears drooped as she fidgeted with her hands. "I was just joking, Sunny. I just meant I encountered some rude girls. Wait! That's not what I meant... I-I'm going to go help Mia," she stuttered before running toward the desk, leaving the two boys alone to process what just happened.

Monty clenched his fists as his tail thumped angrily. Something had happened between when she left and now, seeing as she didn't even acknowledge him. Though, she probably just didn't realize he was there, but that wasn't his main concern at the moment.

He had heard rumors about some of the staff treating her like a tool more than a sentient, living being. It didn't help that some of them were his fans and really detest that he hadn't known it was more than just rumors. While he didn't mind a bit of squabbling for his attention, putting others down or so forth gave him a bad taste.

"Holy shit, how much stuff is she hiding from us?" Monty mumbled, trying to hold back the anger that was bubbling inside him. "Oh dear, she does it with you as well?" Sun turned to see Penny walking up to them. "O-oh! Good afternoon, Ms. Penny! I didn't notice you come in." Penny chuckled at the jester and patted his arm, "You're fine, Sunman. Just came by once I saw this guy walking in looking like Frosty the Snowman."

Monty growled at her while his tail thumped against the padded flooring in irritation. "He came by and asked me for help!" Sun explained, much to Monty's annoyance. He knew that he wouldn't be hearing the end of it. "Oh. Since when does he ask for help? Last I check, he just goes up to people a-"

Monty growled a bit louder, making her stop with a smirk. "Sorry big guy, but I think you need to work on your manners. Especially after what happened during lunch." Sun tilted his head in confusion as he looked at the pair, "What happened at lunch?" "Ain't any of yer business, Sun. Now, can we-" "He manhandled Violet into a closet for half of her break," Penny stated as Sun's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Ah swear to god, Pen," Monty earned before he saw the smirk grow, his accent more apparent due to his frustration. "Mr. Gator here decided that my help wasn't to his satisfaction and practically forced Violet to help him with his tail. It was an easy fix, according to her, that was fixed within a few seconds. I don't know why they were in there longer than that, and Violet wouldn't tell me otherwise." Sun was quiet as he looked at his friend for an answer. "To be honest, ah needed to cool my systems before ah left. We just sat an' talked fer a bit. Had to help calm her nerves down after scarin' her a bit."

"You did what?!" Sun yelled, gripping his hat in disbelief. "Sun! Why the hell are you screaming this time?!" asked Moon as he approached the group. He looked at Monty with an amused smirk, "You got a little something in your hair." Monty smacked his tail against his leg in retaliation, earning a snicker from the male. Moon was then grabbed by his brother. "Our dear friend here manhandled Violet into a closet during lunch," Sun explained, shaking his brother. "Okay, so?" Moon stated, uninterested. "He scared her and pushed her to the wall."

Moon's head snapped to his friend, an angry glare apparent on his face, "You have 5 seconds to explain yourself, lizard." Monty groaned as he removed his shades, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Fine! I'll tell ya inside. Only 'cause I ain't in the mood to fight ya." Monty's tail thumped against the group at the inconvenience as he and the others entered the hidden room.

Meanwhile, Violet had just finished helping Mia with the snacks for when the children when would wake up. Mia was doing her hair while she was trying to distract herself from the tightness in her chest, but was failing miserably. "You okay? You're shaking a bit." "I-I'm okay," she quietly replied, digging her nails into her palm.

Mia noticed the behavior and stopped and grabbed her hands, "What's on your mind?" Violet struggled to keep her eyes on her friend, breathing steadily. "Hey, hey. Focus on me." "I am; I just can't maintain eye contact sometimes," Violet explained, relaxing a bit. "Oh, sorry. That's good to know. I thought you might be having an anxiety attack." Violet shook her head as she let go of her hands, "No, just thinking about something." Mia hummed in acknowledgment as she began braiding her hair.

The silence afterward slowly was suffocating her, making her dig her nails into her leg. The small chittering of Chip grounded her as he came over and sat in her lap, making her scratch his head. "Can I ask you a question?" "Hit me." Violet took a deep breath as she subconsciously began petting Chip, "Have you ever been in a position where people hate you, and you don't know why? Even after asking them if you did something wrong?"

Mia stopped brushing her hair and scoffed, "What rumor is spreading around about me this time?" Violet tensed and turned around, "S-sorry, that's not what I-I meant. This... I just need advice. It's for a friend." Her ears drooped slightly, blushing in embarrassment at not being more clear about her question. "O-oh..."

Mia sat there in thought as she resumed playing with Violet's hair. "Well, I can't really say that I have personal experience with this, but I just try to ignore what everyone thinks about me. If they can't give me an answer, then they're just jealous." "Why would they be jealous of me, though?" Violet asked herself mainly. Mia rolled her eyes with a smile, knowing the elf was oblivious to how one of her friends had the hots for her.

Honestly, she was surprised Violet hadn't picked up on the more obvious signs. Even with the limited interactions with the gator, she noticed him eyeing the elf from the distance whenever they were in the same room. Mia swore she saw him blush a bit when she smiled and waved at him one time. That and how often he helped her.

"Maybe they like someone that is interested in you." Violet faked a smile, trying her best not to say what was on her mind. "I would be aware if someone liked me, Mia," she stated as Mia finished braiding her hair. Mia chuckled as she added some flower clips into her hair, "If you say so."

Violet thanked Mia for doing her hair before heading toward the palace to check on them. As she walked, she held Chip in her arms, enjoying the feeling of his soft fur. Chip chittered a bit, asking to be let go, which Violet did without issue before hoping where she left Sun and Monty.

She recalled the last moment she had with Monty with a slight blush, covering her face with a groan. Even though he was in pain and tried to scare her, she didn't mind being trapped between him and a wall. If only it was for a different reason. She should probably stop reading romance novels for a bit before she got ideas.

Her mind drifted to him cuddling, if you could call it that, and chatting. She had begun to noticed he's been a bit more vulnerable and relaxed whenever they were alone. Maybe a bit too comfortable as well. He has stripped his shirt of in front of her more than once when they hung out in his attraction, making a lame excuse before just going back to their conversation while he floated in the water traps.

She shook her head as her ears and face became a deep shade of red, "God, why me." She read similar situations in books, but they were only when the main character and the love interest were dating or something. It's not like she didn't know he had been flirting with her, but she wasn't sure if it was just friendly or if he actually liked her. "You're on the clock. No time to daydream about your problems."

Violet peeked her head into the napping area, making sure none of the kids were up or having a nightmare. Luckily, none of them looked to be in any distress or awake, which made Violet sigh in relief as she left. With nothing to do for the next hour, and no sign of Moon, she sat down on a beanbag that she was using earlier.

She got comfy with one of the blankets and grabbed the book from her bag. Opening it to where she left off, she quietly read while occasionally glancing over at the children around her. It was quiet for a couple of minutes until she felt someone tug on the blanket.

She looked up curiously to see one of the kids with tears in their eyes. She put the book aside and let the small child crawl into her lap. "What's wrong little one?" she asked the small child, who appeared to be no older than 4. The kid looked up and began signing frantically as more tears fell down their face.

She was grateful she had learned a bit of sign language from Sun, otherwise, this would have been tough. "Do you wanna stay with me so you feel safe?" she offered with a gentle smile at the end. The kid nodded frantically before curling under the blankets in her lap. She began to hum a soft melody as she rocked back and forth while rubbing comforting circles in their back.

The child began to relax as they fell back asleep, hugging Violet's waist. A neutral look appeared on her face as she looked at the child. As much as she liked kids, they take a lot of energy out of her. She was already wishing the day would end so she could play a round or two of games with the others before heading to her room for the night.

She might be back from her lockdown, but she really needed to be alone. Her mind was anywhere but in the present at the moment. There was too much to process with the new face and new job. She fought back tears as she felt the familiar feeling in her chest she had been dealing with since her lockdown began.

Right now, she needed to act like nothing was wrong. If she could deal with this for almost a month without suspicion, then she could fake it for another week. Maybe then this dreadful, but familiar feelings would disappear. She can only hope the headaches would also disappear as well.

[ginalinettiofficial]

so i’m going to poop while b2 is nappin. g11mo has been having TERRIBLE separation anxiety the past month or so, so usually if i have to use the bathroom while it’s just us i bring her and a toy in with me so she doesn’t freak. she was playing pretty happily so today i just left the bathroom door wide open so she can get in easily (she’s walking now) and went.

she followed me in (which i expected) with the bag of play scarves. she held it up to me until i opened it. then, instead of playing here, she WALKED ON OUT. okay cool! she’s not feeling anxiety rn, love that for her. assume she’s gonna go play.

well, instead, she starts a lovely little game where she leaves the bathroom, goes out and finds something random (her brother’s sock, a magnet, a ball, her brother’s other sock), and wanders her way back in. she holds up the object for my inspection, i nod, she nods, and then she walks right back out. the most serious face on the whole time. not like “hee hee hoo hoo fun in and out game!”, but like “oh i found something. better go report back to daina, could be important.”

anyways i love my job i love kids they’re so fucking funny

[carli-meows]

I'm Grown - Deranged Myme Crewe

I'm a big bad grown bitch now mom, that's facts

i do my own chicken huntin without a pack

i kill 1 piggy 2 piggy 3 piggy 4 and on the way back

i kill a whole horse for a snack

I got fleas, stuck to the fur on my back

and i itch itch scratch and they just bite back

and there's nothing i can do except go to the vet

i'm a grown bitch now, no more regrets on gettin checked

I'm so grown i don't even need a full moon to transform

i can cover my skin in fur in under a minute 44

i'mma fuck with my homies when im old and rotten

and have K yelling at me for nappin on top of her coffin

I'm grown

i'm growin on out of my very own britches

fuck you bitchy bitches it's my own choice I'm grown bitches

i'm grown

i'm growin on out of my cave into my own home

fuck you i can do it alone it's my life i own im grown

i'm growin so big, i'm getting bigger than life

i might not even need a stake for when me a Kayti strife

i think I'll be the bigger person when some zzo wanna fight

instead i'll fuck that fuckers mother have her howling all night

i'm grown on my own like it's my birthday in the nutsack

i love my ma and pa but they ain't put no work in that

they were fuckin around a preparing for a kid, instead

i was sucker punching other sperm tryna reach for the egg

im so grown, i can call upon the pack at will

i got the dosh to pay but bloodlust ain't on the bill

and i gots to pay the pack back if im gonna be

top dog of the pack i at least owe em a free snack

i still visit the pack every now and then

because i miss it

and when i see the little new alphas

i give a noogie and i kiss it

but don't get it twisted,

i could easily tear your bitch made

cashier ass all on my own

but bitch, im motherfuckin grown

I'm grown

i'm growin on out of my very own britches

fuck you bitchy bitches it's my own choice I'm grown bitches

i'm grown

i'm growin on out of my cave into my own home

fuck you i can do it alone it's my life i own im grown

[keroppipond]

bluey is so fun, watched the first episode with my caregiver.... it was really super funny... heard is very very good even for big kids and stuff later too!! i think daddy found it funny though!!

only could watch one episode cus im so sleepy... i maybe gotsta naps but i dont wanna cus i wan tmore time being little with daddy and i probably gots to be big once i wakes up and i love daddy always but little time with him is special...

but when i wakes up daddy promises we can spend more time... maybe we can watches more together when is less tired too.... bluey if i can find time to be little again or nimona if is bigger...

m so happy i haves daddy... for long time i regress alone and felt really ashame about regressin too... an daddy cant always bbe around when i am little don mind just makes it more specialer when they can 

nappin when little is nice too cus i feels like i dont have any nervous anymore like i do when big jus sleepy and little...

[cyndecreativity]

Promptober Day 1 - Batting Practice

"I chose you." - Bat - Wearing Each Other’s Clothes A LITTLE OUT OF THE ORDINARY (Adverse Effects | Unconventional Restraints | “This wasn’t supposed to happen���)

The game of baseball is sacred to most of it’s players. ~1300 words

---

Familiar sounds of cars driving by pulled at his consciousness. The crack of a ball against a bat echoed in his ringing ears. Familiar sounds, nothing out of the ordinary. He’d fallen asleep plenty of times in the dugout, under a bench, in the stands, waiting for practice to end. It had been a few years since he’d done it, though.

CRACK!

He felt a breeze, the crack of the hit louder than normal. As he opened his eyes, he caught another player, familiar in his Tombstone Flyers uniform, readying a bat to swing. The color of his hair didn’t match any of the players on the team, but maybe he was new.

Attempting to sit up alerted him to the bonds wrapped around his wrists, his middle, his legs. A sock, dirty judging by the taste, filled his mouth, held fast by a black uniform belt. Not his team.

Thoomp… CRACK!

Muffled noises and the sound of struggle pulled the batter from his routine. “Hey, you’re finally awake!”

The bat fell to the ground with a plonk while the player rushed over to grab the large remote box for the pitching machine. The hum of electricity quieted as the machine turned off. “There we go. Sorry about that, Spooky. Got bored while you were nappin’.”

Spooky struggled against his bonds, plotting a number of ways to punish this newbie. But something about him seemed familiar, not like the field or the dugout or the stands. He’d seen this man before, but in a different uniform, a darker jersey maybe. Sherriff would probably never let anyone on the team with colorization that dark.

But he knew his name, or at least, his nickname.

“Bet you’re tryin’ to figure out where it is you know me from.” The man grinned toothily, his teeth sharp and stained not yellow, but some other color. “Go ahead and look down, that’ll give you a hint.”

He kept his eyes on the man, his captor. Something about the encouragement felt like a trap.

“Ah, c’mon, indulge me, kid.”

He glanced down. An old, loose jersey, hung dark against his pale skin. The Umbra Hulks? He looked up.

“How’s it fit? Yours is a little tight around the middle. Reminds me I should get back to workin’ out. I always say I’m gonna, you know, every New Year. But, you know, resolutions, right?” He smoothed the front of Spooky’s shirt. “Also helps if someone happens to walk by. Home Field Advantage, right? Not unreasonable to see a flyer out here after dark practicing their swing, right?”

The longer he spoke, the more he remembered. He’d heard this man before. Calling for time outs or shouting instructions or arguing with the umpire. He’d played Left Fielder back in the day. Lefty.

“But you’re probably wonderin’ what brings you out here tonight. Me, I’m just enjoying your teams’ new machine. It’s pretty cool. Wish we had that kind of budget. But we don’t.” Lefty fussed with a ring his right hand. “Which is weird, considerin’ your team never sells out tickets. Now, us Hulks, we sell out all the time, right. People love to watch a game with the Umbra Hulks. Won the Championship for years now, right?” The ring, a large gaudy thing that Spooky recognized now as a Championship ring, moved into Lefty’s pocket. “So how is it that we don’t have the budget for fancy new equipment?”

Panic started to fill him. The only time his own father took off his rings meant sobbing in the bathroom over bloody rags.

“So, despite my boss’s protests, I started to look into it.” He chuckled and looked to Spooky with his pitch-black sclera and red irises. “I may not look it, but I’m smarter than people give me credit for. But not as intimidatin’. Because no matter where I followed the money, I came up against some pretty firm roadblocks.”

Lefty paced around as he spoke, thick-knuckled hands gesturing absently. “I followed the dough through official channels, talked to tellers and bankers and accountants. Even followed it through back-channels, right? Tracked down some old contacts, bookies, runners, gamblers.” A nostalgic smirk took up a portion of his features. “Even ran into some old friends that left the Business. They all loved havin’ a chat over a lunch or a beer down the pub. But, wouldn’t you know it, they all clammed up at some point. Now, me, smarter than the average Hulk me, started to notice a pattern.”

Spooky attempted to swallow around the dirty sock and winced at the taste. The rope burned and scratched, tighter every time he attempted to break free. He felt blood trickle down his wrist, into his palm, down his fingers. Despite his best efforts, the angle of his legs made it difficult to even sit on the chair, one of the foldable ones from a conference room or something in the facilities, his ankles tied to the closest point, toes on the ground.

“So I looked into that pattern and I got myself a hunch. I started askin’ different questions, looked into different things here and there. Turns out, our budget problem has a pretty simple solution. But one that I can’t just call out. Because, see, the culprit has a lot of people under duress. If I go after ‘im, he takes down a lot of other people. Nothin’ would stick to him. And then I’d be the one in trouble. Which is where you come in, kid.”

Spooky furrowed his brow. Lefty meandered in front of him and crouched down. “You just follow your coach’s orders, I get it. You hit the ball, you run, you score runs. When you’re on the mound, you throw the ball, maybe you hurt the opposing team’s player. Maybe that player gets benched for a while. Maybe the Flyers start winnin’ more games. Happens all the time.” Red flashed in Lefty’s eyes. “But kid, your coach don’t know what’s good for the game anymore. He’s hurtin’ more players than we got. He’s scarin’ people away from the game. Which is what brings me to you.”

Lefty stood again and walked over to the large remote for the pitching machine. “Men like your coach think they’re untouchable. Think they’ve buried enough of themselves that no one can get at him, right?” He poked several of the buttons on the remote. “But they can’t think of everything.” He pressed start and the machine whirred into life. “Which is where you come in, kiddo.”

Thoomp…

The chair nearly toppled over as Spooky’s reflexes took over to dodge the incoming ball. His eyes darted from the Hulk into the distance where the pitching machine sat. He had been placed directly in the path of the machine. Seated at just the right height.

Lefty scooped up the baseball bat. “Your coach has to be stopped. But, seein’ as he thinks he’s untouchable, there’s no way to get at him directly.” He moved into position to bat as a right-hander. “Which means I gotta find a way to send him a message.”

Thoomp…

Spooky almost fell over again.

“A message he can’t dismiss. Which is why I chose you. Someone he’ll care about more than his other players.” Lefty held the bat with his right hand over his left.

Spooky looked down the field at the pitching machine, the loader bucket full of balls.

“I mean, I could try to talk to him. But he’s hurt so many people already.”

Thoomp…

Spooky grunted this time. They were coming faster than before.

“I gotta hurt him where he can’t ignore it, right?” Lefty settled back into his batting stance, foreign to him as a left-hander. “And I know how much it’ll hurt him to find your body in the dugout tomorrow morning.”

[dianymphii]

Twst Characters as Music Artists

Riddle: Little Tart

Idk piano music? Asian traumacore (like me!) so maybe he just does piano covers.

Ace picked his name and now he doesnt know how to change it.

It is technically perfect but a soulless perfomance. Sucks to suck kid

Trey: Muffin Man

He is too busy to make music but someone sampled him for an audio clip and named him That as credit. A double betrayal.

alternatively cooking by the book remix ft lil jon vibes but only posts it once, and in a weird stress frenzy.

no he will Not talk about it tyvm

Deuce: 2euce

garageband beat maker, he wanted to do a fun play on his name but ace just calls him Two-ce. deuce does not like this.

Ace: DJ Ace

he doesnt even dj

Cater: Di4mond

lofi beats to shit and piss to

posts guitar covers, really giving softboy, genuinely pretty good but like kind of hates his music.

he is the person who inspired two-ce

Leona: King’s Roar

leona could not be assed to use his creativity to make a name so he looked as his unique magic like. yeah ok.

idk why but i can feel in my soul he could produce some FIRE beats, maybe even like put in joke sound samples of other people but remixes them in a way that sounds fucking good. he only posts like once every 6 months to a year but everyone gets real excited like BITCH I THOUGHT U DIED!!! nah, he was nappin.

he also does not read or respond to comments. he has a vague awareness his music is popular but also does not care. if u bring it up tho he's gonna be real smug about it. fucking asshole.

Jack: Unleash Beats

i could sit here and say i think jack was inspired by leona to play on is UM for a name but honestly i just thought it was so funny i almost crapped my pants.

maybe he raps if he doesnt cringe himself out.

Ruggie: RUGGIE

this is a classic man, no need to get weird he is ruggie and he knows it. actually might have gone by ruggie b on soundcloud, all lowercase, but leona let him be on one of his tracks, promptly forgot the name he used and couldnt be assed to check. typed RUGGIE in caps cuz thats deadass who he is. the song he did with leona was so popular he had to rebrand to keep the hype.

good at freestyle, more rnb vibes

Jade: Nothing (nothing is also not his name)

ok so you know AZARI???? that person with the viral and rather slappin' tunes and has no channel name and no video titles??? its just blank? thats jade. i dont want to imagine what sounds this monster produces but im going to say some words and let you fill in the rest in some lovecraftian horror

contra bass

5 amps

distortion

floyd walking in on him

a car crash

quits after like 3 songs he just wanted to see what would happen, step 293 in his 109283 step plan.

Azul: Over The Sea

idk more piano. chill lounge beats to extort innocents to

floyd's outdoor fit is azul merch

azul did force him to wear it

this means azul's merch is an ajuma visor. pop off king!

Floyd: beneath the waves

u know yuno miles? composer of such hits like dookie on my shoe and lay an EGG? floyd makes That.

someone invites him on stage to freestyle as a joke and he pulls the best freestyle rap you have ever seen. it is so fire the room starts smoking. did we order a fog machine? no? well shit. someone asks him to do it again and he says 'nah'

Kalim: The Sultan. Son of Song

i know he can sing but my mind says vegetales

someone pitches the name to him and hes like haha sounds cool! not slavemastercore at all :D (dont come for me)

Jamil: Viper

another lad who cannot be assed, but viper sounds cool so he wins this round.

makes the most angry diss tracks while making eye contact with kalim. kalim cheers.

Vil: Vil Schoenheit

he is boring and professional and it is the name listed in the credits for his next musical production.

Epel: Big Apple

im sorry about ur name epel

very angry. why is everyone is so angry.

Rook: The Hunter

leans into the french thing. uncomfortable sexual lyrics. not uncomfortably sexual, but like. uncomfortable and also sexual. "I could smell you from across the room The smell of your sweet perfume Your body covered in white lace Compels me to take chase, la chasse" (lyrics by @twsty-mad)

Idia: Gl00my Samurai

steve aoki

will mix orchestral soundtracks into his edm for optimal gaming experience

yes i did rip his gaming handle. i think for all he is people avoidant he would like people to recognize his prowess as an artist of game And song

Ortho: Soundboard

is how idia makes music

Malleus: m.d.

leonacore in that he doesnt post often but when it hits it hits. dark melancholy rap vibes.

uses his initials like when he signed off that christmas card maybe even has a song about that and how he keeps waiting for a reply. add a return address next time

literally No information about him online, gives off mysterious anonymous vibes. who is he! does anyone know his alt accounts! no fool. he doesnt have any. he doesnt even have twitter. i think he is happier for this.

Sebek: Retainer to the Prince of Briar Valley

this man will not relax.

raps but really bad.

classified as screamo on decibel alone

Silver: silver lining

lofi music you can wake up to

"please god let it work this time"

it doesnt

Lilia: D.I.L.F.

Destroy Invalidate Lie and an F or SOMETHING that stands for dilf that isnt dilf just to stress his son out.

gaslight gatekeep girlboss but like idk edgy

makes death metal bagpipe music to surprise to (edited) Made w/ @twsty-mad

[minruko]

Time Traveling Kids w/ Tetsutetsu, Shinso, and Inasa

a/n- I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ya know... with melanin

C/N= Child name

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TETSUTETSU TETSUTETSU

Tetsu was out on his morning jog, you were supposed to be there but you declined

He said “Babe you wanna go jogging at 8 AM?” Chile please good night

Anywho

While he was jogging he saw 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy. He saw them but paid no mind to them at first

But the fifth time he saw them he started to get a little curious

He approached them and flashed them his sharky grin “Are you guys lost?”

The youngest girl who appeared to be about five ran up to him and hugged his leg “Daddy!”

He don’t have no kids so he just stared at the child clinging on to his leg

He looked down at her to get a closer look at her she had beautiful curly silver hair, and melanated skin

Tetsu.exe has crashed

He has a person in mind but he doesn’t want to assume

“I told you that’s him, makin us look like stalkers.” An older looking girl said as she slapped the back of a younger boy’s head

“Well I’m sorry I ain’t dumb”

“That makes no sense”

Tetsu looked back at the kids “Who are your parents?”

“It’s us Papa, also why do you look smaller?” She pointed towards his appearance

Seeking some validation advice Tetsu decided to take them back to the dorms

I don’t know if this was a mistake or the best thing to happen to him

Cause as soon as those kids laid eyes on you they all said “Momma!”

Tetsu is screaming internally

To make matters worse y’all are in a cute little group hug while they keep asking you questions while callin you momma

“Tetsutetsu who’s kids are these?”

Congratulations Y/N you made Tetsutetsu go through every shade of red known to man

Y’all played with the kids lookin like a cute little family, he was goin to tell you the truth but until after they left

Google feelin lucky who?

I don’t know either

HITOSHI SHINSO

He was nappin cause who really wants to stay up

Shinso has a little thing for you but he never acted on in cause he just assumed you didn’t like him, ya know cause of his quirk and what not

Imagine his surprise when he opens his eyes to see a child with your features and purple curls

He’s one of the smart ones

“Y/N?”

“No papa it’s me C/N”

Any smart person would go find some help and ask round...

This dumbass went back to sleep

I take back my smart statement

He assumed the child wouldn’t go anywhere cause they seemed like they didn’t know their way around

BOY WAS HE WRONG

When he woke up he was sure that the kid was apart of some dream he had so he forgot about em pretty quick

But he kinda wondered why the kid had your features

He was making his way to the dorm kitchen

But he stopped dead when he heard a little voice call someone momma, it sounded just like the child he saw earlier too

When he entered the kitchen you walked up to him with the child in your arms “Shinso look and their cute little curls!”

Now i’m not the smartest but anyone could clearly see what’s goin on, but today Y/N... today was not your day

“Hey Y/N that kid looks like a perfect blend of you and Shinso.” one of your classmates pointed out...

CUE THE BURNING FACES

“Damn, how did i not see earlier.” At this point your kicking yourself internally. But it’s all good Y/N cause while you interact with the child Shinso falls in love with you more and more and actually plans a way to ask you out

INASA YOARASHI

Y’all were probably on a date at an amusment park or somethin fun

You were about to go on a ride until Inasa saw some kids on their own he assumed they were lost and went up to talk to them, with you trailing behind

“Hi! Are you lost?” he asked them with a smile on his face

BRO i’m tellin you right now he’s husband material

The kids looked up and the both of you with smiles on thier faces

“Momma, papa it’s us!”

Now you know you hear these kids right, but last time you check you were in high school. These ain’t your kids

You smiled softly at kid so they wouldn’t feel bad “Sorry but we aren’t your parents. We could help you find them though.”

The child giggled, “Okay momma!”

The more and more you looked at the child and looked at Inasa you started to see the resemblance between the two

You deicied to keep the info to yourself cause THAT’S EMBARRASSING

At one point the child started holding both of your hands and I think that was a knock out for the both of you

All that was going through Inasa’s mind was how much he loved you and he how much he would love to start a family with you

“How many siblings do you have” you asked

“Ummm, 4″

“Well what are your parents names?” Inasa asked

The child smiled “Inasa and Y/N Yoarashi!”

You both stopped dead in your tracks, you both turned to look at each other but quickly turned away with embarrassment

“S-so um how did you get here exactly?”

“ooo, I was hit by a pretty shiny light and now I’m here”

Inasa picked the child up to get a closer look, they had straight black hair and your features.

“Well, umm I guess we gon be taking care of you?” you said

The child smiled from Inasa’s arms “okay momma!”

HEART SQUEEZE

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Chaotic Crazies- @mixfi​ @thebatwrangler​ @vangoghmusings​ @lunabby010​ @johariameil​ @strawberry-ice​ @spellboundxizi​ @wafflenpie​

[lampmeeting]

“I know you don’t like it, but it will help you feel better” Chickles pls

oohhhHHHH ;~; an adorable prompt, thank you Ash!!

Charles heard coughing from the bedroom down the hall. He paused to listen, concerned, then returned to his work when things quieted.

A few minutes passed and the coughing started up again. Deep, barking coughs. Not at all like Pickles. When it stopped, Charles tried to refocus on the contracts he was drafting, but he thought of Pickles lying in bed, trying to sleep, clearly not doing well, and he couldn't. He put down his pen and left the study.

"Pickles?" he asked, rapping knuckles against the bedroom door frame.

"Hey, chief," Pickles mumbled from somewhere in the darkness. "Sahrry, 'm I bein' annoying?"

"No, not at all. How about I, ah, bring you a glass of water?"

"How about a beeeeeer?"

Charles smiled. "Absolutely not."

"Worth a shot."

He went down to the kitchen and poured a tall glass of water from the filtered pitcher in the fridge, giving it a twist of lemon for flavor and plunking a straw in it. Before heading upstairs, though, he opened the cabinet above the toaster and pocketed a small blue jar.

Pickles had turned the lamp on by the time he got back, lying propped up on a few plump pillows. He looked exhausted but he was grinning as Charles approached the bed. "My hero," he said, accepting the glass and finding the straw with his tongue.

Charles sat on the edge of the mattress as Pickles drank his fill, and once Pickles was satisfied he set the glass aside on the nightstand. "How are you feeling?" he asked, testing his temperature with the back of his hand. "I think you may be a little warm. I'll keep an eye on that."

"Aw, Charlie, I'm fiiiiiine." Pickles probably would've been a lot more convincing if he hadn't finished the sentence with a fresh batch of coughs. He pressed a hand to his chest and groaned, and it was then that Charles reached into his slacks pocket and produced the blue jar.

Pickles immediately pulled a face.

"Gahd, no."

"I know you don't like it, but it will help you feel better."

Pickles whined and rolled his eyes and kicked his feet under the covers, but he lowered the blankets enough to give Charles access. "Just...not a lot, awright? I hate bein' all gloopy."

"Of course," Charles said, unscrewing the cap. "I wouldn't dream of making you, ah, gloopy."

He dipped two fingers into the opaque jelly and began to massage it across Pickles' chest in gentle circles. The smell was strong but soothing, a powerful camphor that even made Charles breathe a little easier.

"Reminds me'a bein' a kid is all," Pickles said suddenly. "Y'know? Yer home sick from school, yer mom smears a whole jar'a that shit on ya and gives ya a ginger ale, and you spend all day nappin' on the couch watchin' cartoons?"

Charles...didn't know. He shook his head. "If I was home sick, I was sent to bed with my schoolbooks. And my parents, ah, weren't soft drink people."

"Jesus, dood, that's depressing."

Charles just shrugged.

"Tell ya what," Pickles said, "next time yer sick I'm givin' ya the full treatment. Vernor's, Campbell's soup, the gloopy shit, and all the Jabberjaw ya want."

Charles wasn't sure he wanted any Jabberjaw, whatever that was. "That, ah...sounds...nice. For now, though, why don't we focus on you?" He rubbed the jelly into Pickles' skin until it shone in the lamplight, and though he wanted to give him a second coating, he refrained. For now.

Still all smiles, Pickles drew in a slow, deep breath, eyelids drooping as sleepiness started to overtake him. He sighed and touched Charles' thigh once he put the lid back on the jar. "You should come lay down with me, Chaaaarlie."

There were documents calling his name back in the study, but Charles couldn't bring himself to leave Pickles' side again that night. He leaned down to kiss his warm freckled forehead, and when Pickles grabbed for his dress shirt and tugged, he allowed himself to be pulled in.