#the mass effect turn is still so fucking funny

[trillscienceofficer]

I'm fairly sure they were called Protheans

[sol-consort]

Do you think in the mass effect universe, there's like porn of every alein race having sex with humans, like a human fetish almost? I'm asking because when I was romancing Garrus in ME2 Mordin said something about sending over videos to shepard's room that would help her have sex with him, and I'm like 'what does that mean?' Are there like a lot of interspecies alien porn? Also circling back around to stuff Mordin said about the turian cum will it definitely cause an allergic reaction or is there just a chance of it? If yes, can I just swallow and have an epipen on hand?

"Can I just swallow and have an epipen on hand?" having finished typing the last paragraph of your very professional worded letter, you navigate through your omni-tool as you press the final confirmation required to send the letter directly to the Turian Embassy, signed - a very concerned human.

The next day, the Turian public affairs and foreign relationships ministry, in collaboration with the Blue Talon healthcare ministry, ensure the widespread of the Turian-Human sexual educational pamphlet... alongside complimentary epipens to all humans affected.

I'd be very disappointed in humanity if there WASN'T a porno category for us at least a couple of years in the aftermath of first contact.

Humans already have produced so much porn–the anal section alone would cost you an entire lifetime to watch through, and you wouldn't even make it halfway through the category. We've been making porn since ancient times, be it oil paintings, statues or written erotica.

There will be a flood of human porn into the galactic web once we connect our Internet to their network. And that's just human on human action!

The asari, undoubtedly, dominate the industry. The first ever published alien on human video was with an asari. The first couple hundreds were, the other species simply haven't warmed up to us yet.

However, the first homemade porn video between an alien and a human was with a turian. The first contact war forced the two species to get closer by virtue of beating the shit out of each other, it came to no one's surprise that it turned into hatefucking after the council put a stop to fighting.

The turian government tried to deny it and keep it on the down low. But seeing how human microbes being deadly to turians, and that the turians themselves found the humans irresistible and much more breedable than they'd ever admit, the government was forced into action to protect the wellbeing of its people.

Insiders encouraging the widespread of human porn, paying pornsites to host educational videos and information about a turian could safely fuck a human. "Spit, never swallow," becoming an unironic slogan used in this campaign.

Unawarly, in an attempt to preserve whatever remains of their dignity by making this whole operation an open secret; the turian government have laid the very first stones into tha paved stairwell of making the turian population to be the highest consumers of human porn.

Be it Turian/Human or else. Hell, a lot of them prefer the Asari/Human videos, claiming it's like watching their two favourite things fuck. What's better than one candy bar? Two candy bars! smushed together. In bed. The human on the receiving end preferably because turians still get a special thrill from watching the humans act submissive and be put in their place.

-

At the end of the citadel mission in ME3, the devs unawarly made something very funny canon. If you're femshep and never romance anyone else through the entire game, you will wake up in bed with Javik.

This means that, canonly, the only prothean pornagrophy video to ever exist on the galactic web (Shep's house has cameras which are connected to the cloud) has been with a human.

If that doesn't cause a massive spike in the human category and make us truly rival the asari who have been oversturating the market for so long, I don't know what else does.

On a side note: geth and AI like EDI might consider the human/vibrators category to be of massive interest.

The whole myth of "did you know human women have no refactory period? They can orgasm indefinitely" spreads like widefire amongst the other races. Suddenly, everyone wants to test this out, asari scientists keep sending appeals to the human embassy despite continuous rejection.

-

For the human/turian safe sex, I think making out is off the table. Even without the whole microbes thing, I'm not sure how their peak with metal plates could've worked with our soft, easily injured lips. The skin on our faces is where it's thinnest. It's very easy to scratch and scar.

Not only does Mordin mention sending you some videos, but Garrus himself brings up the fact that he watched some videos and is now ready to...relieve out stress together, if you want.

Turian cum might be bad for you to digest orally, probably trigger your immune system into a false alarm. However, luckily, the immune system is not allowed in your reproductive organs! Just a precaution fail safe measure in our design so that your immune system doesn't end up accidentally hurting your reproductive ability when it invetabily fucks up, as immune systems tend to do on occasion, also see: pollen.

So you can get creempied by Garrus–and turians in general, no risk of death, allergy, or pregnancy!

As far as I know, besides the asari being a joker card that's compatible with every race, the drell are the only safe-ish species for humans to consume all of their fluids. Be it cum, saliva or...even tears! It will only get you high. No other species experiences that with them tho, so imagine the mindfuck that is to drell.

Suddenly told that your whole existence is a psychedelic to humans, that you could get one on cloud nine by a simple kiss.

[thenixkat]

also the president gave shoot on sight orders for the Joker. I dont think anyone would care if a superhero murdered the Joker who's orchestrating the mass death of thousands at this very moment, Nightwing. Get off yer fucking high horse

of course the Jokerization is randomly killing/dropping villains now. We can't have this ass pull have any real long term effects

faces

they got paid. so the doctor that diagnosed the Joker with a brain tumor was playing a prank on the Joker and didnt think it would go horribly wrong

folks making deals with that fuckin brainworm that i know is usually up to some shit

ok just spread the jokerness via tainted rain, sure, whatever

you were just fleeing from Joker the other issue why are you demanding being taken to him now? Fuck it, let Harley go to the Joker so he can rape and kill her, it's what she fucking wants right now. Let her get her dipshit ass killed.

also Dr. Langstrom is that Dr. Langstrom, the werebat. In this he turns when stressed.

there's a protocol in place for getting Dr. Langstron to calm his shit when he goes werebat. They shot him with some calming drugs

meanwhile, Harley is getting cavity searched for a 3rd time apparently by an overly gleeful lady soldier, cause sexual assault is funny when its lady on lady apparently.

Oracle calls in Huntress, a hero known for killing fuckers, to do whatever she feels necessary to save Robin and clear out some jokerized villains. Just dont tell Batman

jokerized, ugh, Killer Croc called dibs on some Robin wings

Nightwing you know better than trying to reason with the fucking Joker. Also staple gun

oh hey Batman put tracking devices in the costume upgrades he gave his allies. Gotta love that paranoid big brother bs. Someday folks are gonna get tired of that shit and beat Batman's ass

like that's rude as hell also fucking boob socks on the fucking bulletproof vest is a shitty art decision

i doubt Tim-Robin got eaten that quickly and Killer Croc is still fucking hungry. Tim's a decent-sized child, with plenty of meat

again, I don't think Tim-Robin is dead. An offscreen death in a miniseries that doesnt focus on him? I dont buy it

and even if he was he'd be back sooner rather than later

also since when does a superhero need to be sanctioned? I doubt Batman can keep every hero he doesnt like/wont bow to him out of Gotham

oh so now Nightwing is ok with killing Joker. It only took the Joker killing Jason, crippling Barbra, and killing Tim too. Damn, fuck you Nightwing

The Joker has to murder and maim multiple people that Dick is close to b4 dude would consider killing him. Man, I'd be pissed off at Nightwing if I lived in this world and had folks I knew murdered and maimed and the heroes only get serious when it gets personal

yeah, these heroes should have more enemies with the common people just for that alone. 'You had teh chance to stop a terrible fucker and chose not to. Repeatedly even tho the bodies kept pilling up' also the folks in charge with stopping the prison riot are …alive after getting sucked into a gravity well. B/c gravity wells transport fuckers to a pocket dimension instead of crushing the shit out of things in this world. They've been dodging the aquatic villains and murdering one villain who's power is he gets a new power every time he dies which is extremely unethical

Oracle switched positions and wants Batman to stop Nightwing from murdering the Joker.

let him kill the Joker and get him some therapy after, yall making this more of a problem than it needs to be

No shit Tim-Robin wasnt dead. They didnt even put a whole issue between the fake out and him being back

fucking bleeding hearted saps feeling bad about killing the Joker. Couldn't be me

Batman you should have let him die. Everyone the Joker kills after this is directly on your fucking head.

yall weak ass bitches. Everyone the Joker kills after this is on you all for reviving the fucker.

the put the Joker back in prison instead of just killing him. so he can escape again at some point for more adventures. Lex Luthor is the president, its not like he has fucking morals or that the global public doesnt want the Joker dead. Just kill him

and that's the end. There's no good reason for anyone involved to not just fucking kill the Joker

the villains dont like him, the heroes should kill him for the greater good and they'd actually be justified in this one case more than anything else, the world governments should want the Joker dead. No one benefits to the Joker continuing to be alive

[naavispider]

opposite AU? The Na’vi are a hyper-intelligent species hundreds of years ahead of humans in terms of development. They thrive of renewable and clean energy, coming to Earth to rid the planet of the humans that are destroying it. Na’vi jake sully uses his human avatar - maybe they managed to figure out semi-permanent transfer - to attempt to reason with the owner of an incredibly large agricultural megacompany in Brazil (and South America in general) that contributes to deforestation to increase their farmland. He meets his daughter (human Neytiri). Na’vi quaritch destroys Neytiris home city, killing her father. And the rest is history.

the Na’vi’s technology utilises their queue in some way - maybe as a power source? Or their machines are just some really advanced biotechnology influenced by the plants in their homeworld. I was just picturing a smooth, beautiful Na’vi cruiser with no steering wheel. Just a mass of electrical wires looking like vines on a dashboard or a chair with a na’vi plugged into it.

Na’vi spider grew up on Earth after the na’vi fled back to their home system (multiple planets colonised). He is shorter - stunted growth due to increased gravity - and always slumped to appear smaller, and still outcast. His greater strength means he hurts people on accident some times. He lives in a megacity with the Sully’s in South America. When Quaritch finds him - maybe he has a human body, maybe another Na’vi one - he thinks of him as incredibly primitive in his views. When Spider is kidnapped (Jake sully leads a rebellion against the increasing colonisation of Earth - more navi are coming planetside after striking deals with multiple countries - Spider has info on the human resistance) he has no clue how to use anything on the ship he is being kept on which is very funny to quaritch.

so I guess this would be still an evil human AU - people like Neytiri, Jake and the kids don’t really give a fuck about the planet. Jake’s reasoning for turning to their side is basically human life is beautiful in its own fleeting way and deserves to be preserved. Tons of hisotry shouldn’t be erased. The planet can be saved while still preserving humanity.

But this doesn’t mean Na’vi are good guys. They are colonising the planet. In areas they set up camp they tear down infrastructure and attempt to restore the local ecosystem - maybe using humans as fertiliser could be a little fucked up plot twist. Any human that draws too near would die. As the “rejuvenation” of Earth begins, population of humans dwindle and are pushed from their homes. I don’t see a reason why Na’vi would use human avatars as their isn’t really an advantage other than being able to breathe 100% of the time - as well as not feeling the effects of increased gravity.

I think at this point - Na’vi have colonised most of their home system - with successful colonies on other planets. So some na’vi may have evolved to withstand higher gravity. the concoction the Na’vi use in order to speed up plant growth creates dangerous megafauna. Na’vi do experiments on earth animals to cross-hybrid them with their strange funky biotech. Meaning Na’vi can pilot them likes mechs. This could help with the increased gravity thing.

Na’vi intererence using powerful gravitational waves to destroy infrastructure could creat similar phenomena as the flux vortexes. These areas could provide na’vi relief from the increased gravity - which is why they erect their encampments are puns the graveyards of cities.

this desperately needs a way to nerf the Na’vi. In the original series - it’s their primitivity and morals that nerf them a lil. They can’t stand up against the absolutely giant machinery and guns the humans use - and they also wont resort to the same tactics. I don’t think there could be an issue with teh Na’vi tech not being compatible with earths gravity - as they would have colonised Alpha Centari already - which is a huge gas giant. The only think I can think of is seasons and irregular weather patterns - Pandora is tidally locked so it doesn’t experience seasons. They may not be prepared for winter - or might freak out once the plants they have just regrown start dying in winter.

This has been in my notes for ages - I remember trying to think of an actual plot point that’d turn this AU into a story but I couldn’t think of anything 🤷‍♀️ any ideas?

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! I’ve been terrible at updating tumblr recently ✨ This is really well thought out already! You’ve done 90% of the hard work , which is figuring out the premise in the first place!

Since it’s an opposite au you could focus on any part of the original A2 plot in this setting. I love the idea of Jake having a human avatar, after living his whole life as a Na’vi 😯 I think there’s a lot to explore there but aLso the humans-being-used-as-fertiliser side plot is too juicy to ignore… the only question is who is going to get trapped in the process and need rescuing? 🤨🤨

[chryza]

Presidential debate SICK ASS REACTIONS.

“The microphones will only be turned on during their turn to speak” thank the lord they finally learned

“VP Harris you and President Trump (sic.) were elected four years ago” I hope to god that it was a slip and not an omen.

Harris coming right out and attacking project 2025 is pretty pog anyway I hope she kills him. I’m still skeptical about her in a lot of ways and I’m not a fan of the continuing imperialist military industrial complex ie genocide. but fuck me she’s not a raving lunatic or a decrepit dude with dementia so like. Fuck man I’ll take it.

he keeps saying “as she knows” to try and ruin her credibility which might be effective if he didn’t immediately then verbally veer off the road and crash into a tree

WHY DID THEY TURN HIS MICROPHONE ON. THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST LET HIM FUCKING TALK TO AN EMPTY STUDIO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUNNY.

I hope Kamala kills him. I’m obsessed with the way she keeps laughing at him. KILL HIM.

“She’s a marxist” this is the only time in my life I wish trump was right I fucking wish Kamala Harris was that cool.

[on abortion] “When the baby is born they will decide what to do with the baby and they will EXECUTE the baby” i don’t even have a quip to add the quote speaks for itself

Live Kamala Reaction your opponent just said Tim Walz wants to “Execute Babies”

The MODERATOR being like “there is no state where it’s legal to kill a baby after it’s born” is KILLING ME

Harris does sound legitimately incensed about abortion rights which is a massive W for her, I fully believe she would crack down on restrictions to women’s healthcare

Harris “I invite you to attend one of trump’s rallies and what you’ll hear is him talking about fictional characters like Hannibal Lector, how windmills cause cancer, and you’ll see people leaving early out of exhaustion and boredom” YES. BLOOD. BLOOD.

SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING HE IS NOW SOOOO MAD SHE IMPLIED PEOPLE WERE BORED OF HIM AAAAAAHAHAHA I AM MAKING TRIXIE MATTEL SEAGULL NOISES RN

Shown: watching Trump take the bait hook line and sinker

My mom sent me memes so I knew about this beforehand but

“THEYRE EATING THE PETS OF THE PEOPLE OF OUR COUNTRY”

*further trixie bird noises*

[Harris] “This is why I have the endorsement of former Vice President Dick Cheney” that’s NOT A GOOD THINGGGGG I don’t know if it’s like trying to be bipartisan but girl this is NOT the way

I need them to stop turning on Trumps microphone. Just leave it off

I TOOK A BULLET TO THE HEAD BECAUSE OF THEM

KAMALA I SUPPORT FRACKING HARRIS EVERYONE

WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMOREEEE THIS IS SUCH A SHITSHOW

“Strength as a leader is not about beating people down it’s about lifting people up” Bold words from a woman who is actively delighting in mocking her opponent, to be clear I think it is an objectively good thing, I simply think this is a hilarious thing to say ten minutes post Live Kamala Reaction

“NOW SHE WANTS TO DO TRANSGENDER OPERATIONS ON ILLEGAL ALIENS IN PRISON”

Most of what trump says is just bloviating nonsense but I am noticing that Kamala Harris is very good at making her words sound nice while not actually saying much of substance. This is not a specific indictment against her because it’s a very Politician thing, but she isn’t actually saying much here.

[moderator] So do you acknowledge now that you lost the 2020 election

[trump] No it was obviously sarcasm

[moderator] I did watch all of the videos where you said that and I didn’t detect the sarcasm.

Trump, on Biden: I’ll let you in on a little secret, [Biden] hates her *pointing to Harris*

Okay so Harris is a proponent of a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine and is opposed to civilian mass-murder. I don’t even know how to begin to touch that with a ten foot pole and the whole situation feels so confusing to me in general. Overall she seems Anti-Civilians-Being-Slaughtered in the name of self-defense but then in the same breath assures that Israel needs support to defend itself from Iran so. Wow sounds like a whole mess of colonization practices that have deliberately destabilized a region that can’t easily be nuanced in a single answer

[Trump] “If she becomes President Israel won’t exist within two years” God I wish Harris was half as cool as he makes her out to be.

“I WOULD GET [PUTIN AND ZELENSKY] ON THE PHONE AND GET THE WHOLE THING SETTLED.”

Kamala Harris PUTIN WOULD EAT TRUMP FOR LUNCH put that on a check and take it to the bank I love national television

I love Harris essentially dishing the hot goss on Trump negotiating with the Taliban. Is this the platform to do it? No. But this is practically kayfabe at this point anyway. Do I even care

What a shitshow. Harris has zero high horse here, she refused to answer basic questions about position in an attempt to remain bipartisan, Trump endlessly blathered about nonsense. Kamala Harris won the debate, but to be frank, trump could lose to a mildly literate dog.

[lanaevyssmoved]

do u have any game recommendations that have character creation? besides bg3 ofc

gonna be real i wouldnt recommend bg3 for a character creation game because you can only use preset faces ...... bro but if you mean it in an oc way......

i would recommend.............

heavily modded skyrim, if you don't wanna do it yourself use wabbajack, some of the modlists on there are designed for graphics or high end systems and have very pretty characters. there's also ones not like that with rougher characters or more vanilla characters. lots of choice! do not get into the community though, this is a warning

following on from that, any elder scrolls game - morrowind is the best and one of my all time favourite games

you can follow on from that with fallout if you like the setting. i recommend fallout 1 and 2 the most as i'm not the hugest fan of bethesdas fallout but that is not a common opinion that be a hot take

heavily modded final fantasy xiv, you can fully mod on the free trial version as far as i know - be warned this is an extremely slippery slope because it has a modding community to rival skyrim and many customisation mods are paid for however there are ways around that. anyway you can get mods from here, here and here as well as the nexus

elden ring, dark souls 3 - the other dark souls but those character creations look like dogshit ass but still fun to make ocs in imo.. demon souls if you own a ps5....... i do not

pillars of eternity, tyranny, while visually quite limiting the character creators are still very neat from a roleplay pov - tyrannys has a lil "post character creation" game you get to play where you make "post game" choices and i uh, used to play that all the time for fun without intent to keep playing.....

a good follow up to that would be dragon age, all three of them but specially origins, i used to play the origins and not continue the rest of the game for fun! now be warned all of these games suck terrible dick in terms of modding because it's awkward and annoying and easily broken! i recently replayed dao and dai and so much of that time was spent troubleshooting...... joyous

have to kind of mention mass effect after? but ur kind of always making the same character..... ive always struggled with mass effect personally. maybe its the setting?

you can also look at starfield since that's got actually a pretty decent cc but i did find it quite limiting. but i've not really played it for more than an hour cuz bg3 exists so i can't say much

back to crpgs, the two pathfinder games! again limiting on the character side but roleplay side very very strong. i've not played wotr but i have mutuals who act like it is gods gift to gaming and i believe them. i really liked the first!

the outer worlds could be a good choice, i really like that games aesthetic but it's another space game and i think we're seeing a pattern that i'm just not that into those. hm. it was bethesda style gaming in space before starfield exists with the personality of fallout, kind of ?

this ones going far out there but crusader kings iii has an insane character creation and my favourite ruler ever was this old witch woman cannibal who slowly but surely turned her whole corner of the globe into a witch worshipping cannibal cult. i miss her

age of wonders 4 has a really cool cc, you can even make dragons with the dlc like Actual dragons.... i have made so many characters in there and gave them their funny little lores.. age of wonders has real cool lore and it is Completely ignored by tumblr afaik and that sucks

encased is a really cool rpg it's another sci-fi-y one.. it isn't as polished as you might expect cuz it's a very ambitious game but a small indie studio but i would say if you enjoy fallout 1 + 2 you will enjoy encased

dragons dogma! you get to make two people in this just like in bg3! i made a lil girl and her big brother and i was so fucking emotional over them that i was crying constantly even when nothing was going on. i played dragons dogma to fucking death on the ps3 and i think its interesting and rich enough to sink ur teeth into

i have to mention greedfall as the owner of the greedfall url.... greedfall is very interesting as its a double A title akin to a dragon age game.. it might make one feel a tad uncomfortable because it comes across as colonialism the rpg but it does get very interesting and it has neat as hell characters and magic and big monsters who fuck hard

wasteland 3! kinda again has the fallout type of vibe it is violent and full of dark themes and twisted themes but its also extremely comical its true black humour at times and you get to make two characters again and you can even make TWO MORE CHARACTERS so i had a bunch of custom characters.. u can get really wild in the cc as well and builds are SUPER fun....... v good game

spellforce 3!!!!! i love this game, the cc is again like another crpg one but spellforce 3 has very deep lore spanning many games .. its not typical crpg in that its also like a strategy war game too but i think it does the mixture very well and i LOVEEEEEEEE the lore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh i forgot to mention divinity original sin 1/2 because .. bg3 should lead you right there but uh. play them both! the first is so good in coop i feel cuz of the natural banter between the protagonists. if you don't have friend the second is very good single player just. be warned i don't think it has good endings but the ride is worth it!! and divinity lore fucks hard. i also recommend divinity dragon commander because its so much fun

can i say stardew valley? mayhaps sun haven too? if ur crazy like me you can turn these into prime oc generators. also mods

oh, monster hunter world and by extension wild hearts. monster hunter world lets you make a cat and while ur character themselves doesn't get to do much story wise i did get very obsessed with my character and wanting them fight cool monsters. wild hearts is similar though your character does feel a bit more special- be warned this game is known for running like ass on most systems, its pretty good for me but be warned all the same

TEEHEES.... KENSHI!!!!!!!!!!!! i was holding back on mentioning kenshi but i can't. you can make a whole fucked up lil squad if u want. u got weird alien races. u got a billion fucking mods. u can have ur buddies limps removed and give them robot ones. u can make an army of weirdos. bro i got so invested in my kenshi squad i was writing FANFIC. i was dreaming of them. i was unable to sleep about them. i miss them so fucking much dude!! kenshi doesnt really have a story beyond what u make it. that shit is a SANDBOX.. and i love it so much. everyone should play kenshi. its kinda like rimworld if u want a comparison. i think its Perfect. the best game to exist ever (lie) its so wonderful....... man........its also broken as shit cuz its the most ambitious game to exist ever and it was made by 1 dude so

oh if u like anime games i have to mention code vein (souls like) and god eater (monster hunter like ?) they have very good ccs and i know people super into the lore and stuff. i only played code vein and i liked it a lot honestly

uhhh i mentioned 1 mmo so i should probably mention guild wars 2, the cc is very good, the whole games end game is about fashion and looking amazing. the lore is also super duper neat! i haven't played it for a long time now but i did play it on launch and i had a blast for a few years

if you like d&d i would recommend solasta! it has a very good cc i think honestly and it feels the most like this is d&d in a video game out of every game i've ever played, and it translates the system very and faithfully (as opposed to say bg3 who changed things for game reasons). solasta is also best with friends because its so in that vibe of this is a silly lil d&d party. its much fun

lol i got the block text limit popup

kotor 1 and 2, it might be hard to get into the lore and characters if you're not into star wars but i found it pretty ok to as not a huge star wars fan. i also think they deserve to be played despite that as well because they are fantastic rpgs and some of the best bioware ever made

vampire the masquerade bloodlines!!! i am not a vampire fan really, a small one, but this game captivated me.... very easy to get into making a character i feel and ur given enough to make characters that align different ways easily. the combat did not age well..... but the story and roleplay absolutely did

ok.. im gonna stop here.. but i will say give games like icewind dale and arcanum a chance.. look at old as hell crpgs and try them. this includes bg1+2 which i still need to play myself but will be soon! they are classics because their stories are fantastic, and shouldn't be missed out on!!!!!

[is-that-plural]

While I'm on my kagepro insanity. Submitting Shintaro Kisaragi specifically.

It's sorta funny, even before we realized "ah. Fuck. System," we read him as system-coded in a kinda crazy roundabout way lmao

Like obviously the way it happened is very fictional (time loops and magic) buuut still reads plural

(spoilers for manga route 2, aaand the anime I think? And just general kagepro spoilers. For TWs, mass murder and general death I'd say? It's just touched on briefly but is key to the theory. And suicide-)

Okay! So start at the beginning. Kagepro, chronologically, is a mess. We know which "route" (loop of the time loop) is the start (manga route 2), and which one ends the loop (the anime), but there are countless routes in-between, only a handful of them having been touched on, pretty much making endless possibilities for fan content and canon content alike.

Manga route 2 is different from the formula of other routes, where Shintaro and Ayano never meet in highschool. (Shintaro managed to break both his arms and was in the hospital for a while lol loser)

Instead, Shintaro was a shut-in due to another friend's death, in a depression for 2 years, but eventually has to go out himself when he accidentally spilled soda on his rabbit's food. He may not take care of himself but he loves his rabbit !! Lmao . Anyways a Lot of Shit happens, he meets other people with these strange eye abilities like what his sister has, there's a lot of death, etc. Eventually he meets Ayano, who also has one.

After everything is said and done (aka literally everyone got killed off except him, Ayano, and Mary [a descendant of the original Medusa, and who the snakes go to when their body has died. She takes on their powers and is typically so overcome with grief she rewinds the world]), Ayano convinces Mary to effectively turn her into a new snake, and gift her to Shintaro. We'll effectively call her Ayaki from here on out to avoid confusion. Unlike the other snakes, who are gifted every loop from a situation that should've killed the characters as kids (or some teens) but didn't, Ayaki is always with Shintaro, every loop, forever.

Now that Ayaki is in there, Shintaro's eye power is retaining eyes, where he can remember every single route that's happened. However, it's not straightforward. He doesn't remember them without Ayaki's help, where she has to tell him what's happened. This usually happens in dreams or similar such things, where he'll find himself in his highschool classroom, with Ayaki appearing as Ayano, his friend from highschool in all other routes, who killed herself. So he's got this headspace classroom with ayaki who is there and explains everything that's happened lmao.

Ayaki can see everything that happens through a window in the classroom, seeing through Shintaro's eyes. It takes work on her part to be able to reach him, and often this happens after he meets the other characters in the route and shit starts hitting the fan, but sometimes he doesn't remember at all, or sometimes he finds out too early and he's unable to take it (see route XX, where he's alone and unable to take it, so he ends up uhm... Cutting the route off early, let's say).

So pretty much long story short, he's got this chick in his head who tells him about his trauma and could technically comment on his day-to-day life and speak to him but chooses to be cryptic instead lol. It's also implied though not touched upon that in the anime route, where they finally break out of the time loop / all survive, that she, like the other snakes, never actually leaves and is always there even after the trauma is over and some with.

!!

Rating: timey wimey loopy woopy shenanigans often lead to plurality, huh !

[omniblades-and-stars]

Daisy's gonna get real with y'all for a minute.

I've been playing Mass Effect for a long fucking time. Since the second one came out in 2010. At the time, I was broke as fuck, living in my grandparent's basement, struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

I felt utterly powerless.

And I'm working at Gamestop part time, we got to check out games for free. I keep seeing this game, it's the second one in a series I've never heard of before. Everybody was all up Halo's ass still (no shade to Halo). But it's a sci-fi adventure with cool aliens in it.

I boot it up on my Xbox and create my character. She looks kind of like me, but I can't get the nose quite right, but that's okay.

And as I play, making all kinds of mistakes, I'm sure, I realize, people know her. They missed her. There's this pilot, he's kind of an asshole, but in the same way some of my friends are loveable assholes.

There's the doctor, and her laughter is so kind, it felt healing. Also, she's kind of hot. And funny.

I immediately go to get Archangel because that guy sounds rad as fuck from the dossier. And when he greets me, I just know, THIS, this is your ride or die friend. It's apparent in the banter. Like "Haha you jackass I love you." Kind of friends.

And it just keeps going. I feel less alone.

But as I'm playing as this incredible, powerful woman, I realize something else.

I feel powerful too. Or at least, I don't feel powerless. And that counts.

And I keep pushing through, even though life is awful. And it gets worse.

Surprise! Daisy, you're pregnant! Oh and look at that, it's twins!

I'm still broke as fuck, living in my grandparent's basement. My husband and I have been trying for years to find better jobs, but there's nothing but shitty part time, minimum wage work. The recession is technically over, but those of thrust into adulthood during those years know the truth.

In some way, it never ended.

It's 2012, after the Extended Cut for 3 is released, and I'm doing bad. It turns out undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder mix with post-partum depression about as well as bleach and ammonia.

My babies never sleep, so I don't either. I gave up on going to work. My husband has to work all the time when I'm awake so we can afford to live in our shitty apartment where someone was shot in the parking lot right outside my window. So I almost never see him.

Suicide is on my mind.

I feel alone.

I feel powerless.

My husband spent the money to buy me Mass Effect 3 for my birthday. And I boot it up.

There are all my friends! Hey guys, the world's kind of gone to shit, huh? I feel you, my world's gone to shit too.

I devour it.

I get to the end, and there's an option I didn't expect.

Synthesis.

And as EDI's dialogue cuts in for the epilogue, I'm already weeping because oh shit Shepard just died. But then EDI says, "I am alive, and I am not alone."

And all of the air leaves my lungs. I'm ugly crying at this point, alone in my living room, hunched over with snot all over my face and hands.

Because she's right.

I am alive. And I'm not alone.

My sweet, beautiful children are sleeping (for once) just in the other room. My husband is working himself literally to the bone because he loves us so much, he's not going to let us become homeless if he can help it. My aunt came by to surprise me and take me out to lunch for my birthday.

She didn't even know I had been contemplating taking my own life that morning.

I'm not alone. Sure, shit sucks. I've been destitute my entire adult life, I'm a college drop out, I haven't slept in months, we can barely make rent, my body is different now and I don't like it, but I'm still here.

Now, it's 2023.

And I'm still here.

[raisindave]

[Chapter 59] Seeing the World Through Ballistic-Tinted Glasses

"I don't know, Sergeant," he said in a low, mocking tone, dragging out the words and leaving you lusting for every syllable. "You abandoned your post."

Words that are supposed to be threatening make your spine tingle and your breath quicken. Maybe that's part of why they make your skin electrify. Damp evening air becomes more prominent now that a thin layer of humid sweat is gathering over the skin on your heaving chest. The air you gulp in is cool on your teeth, but his expression is unreadable in the deeply cast shadow. 

"And here you stand," you breathed back, the words pour over your tongue.

"A rescue mission," he commanded in a gravelly murmur, turning to stand directly in front of you.

He should know by now that you have less than no interest in returning to that gallant circus. Especially not when the company out here is so much more intriguing. What Ghost has to offer is a simple, unencumbered satisfaction that no award could fulfill you with. More temporary than a medal or even a bouquet. But far more memorable. That certain achy needy discomfort returned, unshadowed by the dreading thought of a reappearance at that dumb fucking gala. 

"I'm not going back in there," you swore, holding your ground firmly. "You're welcome to report back to them with your failure, lieutenant," your palms planted against the marble wall to your back, knitting your hands under your tailbone. 

Holy hell, his body is so warm, radiating through you like a furnace. Polished shoes firmly planted on either side of yours effectively lock you in; no other option but to look up at his towering silhouette. Giddy muscles flinch in anticipation of his touch. He won't imbibe just yet. Why isn't he touching you? Slow, calculated breaths confirm that he's still living, but motionless like the dead. Even without a skeletal pattern on his mask, the black fabric still effectively makes him look like a vessel of vitriol. It's those dark eyes that sell it, you realize. Never the mask itself.

His body moves closer to yours. Pressing warm mass to your chest, his groin connecting to your lower stomach makes you gasp weakly. The silence only makes your mind spin faster, wracking your thoughts for possibilities and predictions. Screaming consciousness makes nearby bass and chatter nearly imperceptible. Here you are, between a rock and a hard place, as the back of your head met cool unforgiving stone. Just the act of drinking in his body heat with his chest pressing to yours is enough to make your tongue pool with sweet spit. 

"You don't have any zip ties in that coat, do you?" You sing softly, standing on your toes to whisper as close to his ear as you can muster. 

An exhale in the form of a low laugh pushes hair from your ear, and your skin runs slick with goosebumps. His eyes remain stoic but unquestionably entertained, making your heart sting whenever you meet them. 

"Funny," he growls, ever so slightly pressing himself more firmly against your form. 

Something about the words in his Manchester accent, or maybe his tone, makes your muscles burn. Get a grip, will you? The thought of someone seeing you struck for a moment, making your imagination create imagery of your shambling explanations and flushed faces. Your flushed face. He seems entirely stoic and cold, but his half-lidded eyes sing a different song. Just then, his hand touched your forearm. Hot, rough fingertips rippling over bare skin, manifesting into a firm grip. His body parting from yours left you aching for his body heat once again, but by the time the sensation manifested, you were already stumbling to follow his lead. 

Your shepherd drew you further into the misty void, stepping in uneasy stilettos on plush grass, feeling stray blades of grass tickling the sides of your feet. The night air was thick with the smell of grass and rain, singing sense into your superheated consciousness with their chill, with no luck. After only a few dozen stumbling steps, you saw the gravel trail just beyond a breech in the cypress barrier around these lush gardens. Distant cicadas murmur and chirp, gossiping about your approach, singing sweet, filthy nothings that bring a smirk to your lips.

A sentinel of security guards noted your absence. This won't be the first walk of shame the guards will oversee tonight, but you overestimate their role if you think they'll report your specific departure. They're just paid to make sure those pompous cunts stay as far away from actual combat as they typically do, and nothing more. Those are the rewards you reap when you're filling ceremonial roles with the promise of conditional loyalty and indifference. It made you giddy, if anything. Poor, bored, kitted guards in snooty suits, wishing they could slip into the darkness for a sneaky moonlit foxtrot. When your attention returned to the direction Ghost was leading you, your eyes fell on one of those same deep green trucks they've been utilizing for the past few weeks. 

It's not technically a military Humvee, but you'd be remiss to say it's a downgrade. Parked along a gravel road around the back of the massive, gallant stronghold of ornate marble and granite. He popped one of the back doors open, swinging it open to invite you. The darkness made it hard to see within, like you'd discovered a new shade of dark. A distant streetlight of black iron and gold leaf weakly illuminated a few of the other cars lining the gravel path, but not nearly entirely enough to let you identify any meaningful details inside this one. From the corner of your eye, you saw your lieutenant work to lift his jacket free from his chest, carefully peeling it off one arm and methodically drawing it down the other. 

You took it upon yourself to step into the back seat on your own, seeing as he didn't seem to have the patience to usher you like a proper gentleman. You overestimate him. Seats are cool to the touch, with slippery pleather that clings to damp skin on the back of your thighs. He'd just finished neatly folding his blue suit jacket in the front driver's seat along with his beret before he stepped into your adjacent door. The door slammed shut beside him with a thundering crash, then, deafening silence. The outside murmur had been stifled, no more distant bassy tempo or serenading cicadas. He sat neatly in his seat, and you yours. But that won’t last more than a few moments. So proper in his tidy white dress shirt and black tie, he looks like he's equipped for stock trading on Wall Street. His eyes were too hungry to be described as anything adjacent to something so innocent, though.

Turning side face in his seat, he turned to face you, wasting no time to crawl his hands across your body, sliding you over smooth, level seats. The back seat of this expansive truck unit could arguably be pinned as the rough size of a twin mattress if you excuse about a foot of length. It'll have to do, though, and he seemed to have no intention of waiting. Not that you did, either. You found yourself on your back, black rumpled fabric bunched under your tailbone, but suddenly, he was moving in the opposite direction from your expectations. Instead, he crept down to the hem of your skirt, and your elevated knees quivered at his approach. Obscured by the taught fabric of your dress, his face was effectively out of sight. His comfort was made evident by the foreign but delightful sensation of a hot, dragging sensation sliding across your slick panties. His damp tongue dragged over the cloth, a touch that set your nerves on fire, carrying on in tandem with your writhing pleading. Only when he decided you were thoroughly toyed with did he pinch the fabric between his teeth, dragging it free from your electrified skin. 

He knew just when to suck and nip. Toying with tension and pressure, lapping up sensitive nerves in a way that almost made you angry. Nobody who's this good hasn't done this before. It makes you wonder what other women have been subjected to this onslaught from his skilled tongue. It made you angry, seething for reasons that are beyond your understanding. How dare they. How dare he. Fuck. Logic melts into obscurity, and humid sweat makes fumbling hands slip and slide over slick car seats. And the introduction of his calloused digits into the fold was enough to tip you over the edge if you weren't nearly there already. It made you crazy, and he knew it. He knew it by the way your knuckles gripped his short, soft hair, urging him further. The muscles in your back arched your back as his tongue flicked over your most sensitive nerves with a cruel tempo. For a moment, you swore he laughed, feeling hot air puff over your weeping flesh after you let out a particularly desperate whine. 

Your palm met cool glass, misted from the change in climate, inside versus out. It squealed when your fingertips dragged down the window, but it rang as inaudible over the sounds of your own heartbeat in your ears and panting in your throat. He'd sometimes take the time to blow cool air over the bundle of nerves in a way that made you cry out in a way no one else has, dragging out the ecstasy and rendering you to relent. Inside your mouth, the flesh of your inner lip stung from the pressure of biting teeth, but it wasn't worth holding in your moans anymore. They seemed to fuel his vigour, anyway. Pumping fingers and a lashing tongue were enough to introduce your body to that familiar rising tension from the knot in your core. 

The orgasm wracked your system with a searing intensity that seized your muscles into strain, gasping at the air even when your lungs refused the intake. Trembling and riding searing pleasure he wrought that sapped you of your breath. He eagerly lapped up your nectar all the way through and beyond. Even though the tsunami had passed, your shores still tingled and lingered with molten electricity. 

"Did you enjoy that?" his gravelly, velvet voice cut through the sudden silence. 

"Fuck you," you'd yet to find it in you to compliment his efforts, as if your quivering muscles weren't clear enough. He won't indulge his ego by prying for praise on your watch. 

Like the masochist he is, he flicked his finger to strike your sensitive bundle of nerves, and it made your body feel like you'd been hit with cruel lightning. Searing, breath-sapping agony that made you yowl into the silence. The fucker was chuckling, and just as you found it within yourself to try to drive your thumbs into his eyes, he was climbing over you. Once again adorned in that black mask, now slipped up to his nose bridge, he fought your bucking resistance to climb between your legs. Pain still surged through your system like a struck bell, but clinking metal and a sharp, unmistakable note of a struck zipper only momentarily grounded your senses. 

Knees tightened around his hips, and your nails found the crisp sleeves of his white button-up. You fought his advance over your searing skin, but only for the purpose of making him fight more. And just in case he'd start to suspect genuine resistance, your arms crossed over your chest to relieve your shoulders of draping straps, effectively dragging tight fabric free from your heaving chest. Cool air breathed over eager nipples, and his breath halted entirely at the sight. Torrid skin made damp with beading sweat lingering remnants of throbbing agony set the context for his cock to kiss your entrance. It's everything you ever could've hoped for.

It's a relief to know this libido was still possible, where you'd come to fear the prospect of this being stripped from your system entirely. You could cry at the relief, fearing that some foreign phobia had manifested in your psyche. A life of renowned celibacy was possible if such were the case, perhaps stepping into the shoes of a nun. You had been spending weeks in a monastery turned barracks, so the sleeping situation wouldn't be too unfamiliar. Still, the humour of it all struck you as you lay on your back in the backseat of a van somewhere in Italy, feeling your lieutenant's dark tie drag over your bare chest as he thrust into you. It's safe to say your career as a nun is off the table, if it ever were there to begin with.

His size never fails to shock you, and you feel your face tighten from the strain. He's still patient enough to wait for your body to become accustomed to the burning agony. How courteous of him. Fucker. Even if it doesn't take long, your body melds to adjust by any means necessary. It didn't take long before you were writhing to meet his rhythm, eventually graduating into countering his every movement to optimize the friction. Bumping and grinding in the dim light, only the whites and his shirt visible in the twilight, raking desperate nails down the smooth, soft fabric. You'd take this over any champagne flute or senior orchestra any day. 

He seems to be okay with doing the hard labour this time around, though it's only fair considering the heavy lifting you had to do last time. It felt good to be chased, to surrender to whatever plans he had for your body. Even if it meant temporarily surrendering control. Control you'll seize once again, soon enough. Not yet, though. It feels too good right now, and you can't help but curse his name. Never aloud, though. That's another rule. It's just that Ghost doesn't quite roll off the tongue as the forbidden first name. Alas, that's the cost of a contract like this, and they're even terms you unanimously swore. 

Something about how he would groan and say 'fuck’ in your ear set your nerves on fire. In a matter of moments, that familiar tightness at the apex of your thighs made you feverish and desperate, crying for him to keep going. And that he did. Just enough to wring another crashing climax from your system, more powerful than ever. You practically screamed a breathy sigh into his ear, and your head kicked back as the spasming ravaged your body. 

A hand on the base of your jaw made you gasp in surprise. He lifted you to meet him with brute force, and suddenly, your own hazy gaze met his, only an inch from his face, now sitting upright. The sudden change in movement and gravity confused your senses, but luckily, he was more than capable of commanding your muscles for you. 

"You will suck my cock now, sweetness," he commanded, tightening his grip on your throat. 

The way he called you 'sweetness' when he was like this, you couldn't get enough of it. You stuck your tongue out, dragging it along the fabric that covered his face from below his dark eyes. Your pointed tongue identified the swell of his lips through the mask, lavishing in the shape of them, if not anything else. An excellent tease, and for the second when you caught his eyes, he was a vision of surprise and challenge. His arm, and by extension, you, were pushed away. Unfortunately, rules are rules; no kissing. That simple act seemed to inspire a carnal response, feeling a brutal grip on your hair drag you to buckle under his direction. You'd slipped between the seats, a surprisingly vast amount of space in this calibre of truck. 

Still drunk from your climax, your breath only just began to catch up to you when his merciless cock stood tall at attention for you. You won't give him the satisfaction of asking again and making him feel like his words are compelling you; this is entirely your own independent resolution. Even the act of touching the flat of your tongue to his spongy tip made him flinch, resting his head on the headrest behind him. Seeing him writhe and buck under the simplest touch made you surge with a power never before seen, hungrily savouring in the taste of your own succour on him. Without zip ties, you wouldn't be able to drag this out as long as you like, especially with him already predisposed for his climax before your orgasm. Unfortunately, his hand on the back of your head guided you to glide his member across your tongue at a tempo he prescribed. Your jaw strained at the size, but a greedy, low whimper from under that mask made it all worth it, only challenging yourself to take more. His skin tasted so addicting and sweet, like your body was meant for this, making you ravenous for more of him. 

He sounded like he was stifling words, choking on consonants and syllables, even when his penetration into your throat made your muscles involuntarily reflex and spasm. Breathing was a challenge, and your eyes stung with tears from the strain, but fuck, did it make your heart smoulder. Glancing up, those dark brown puppy eyes raked over you with a hazy expression. It all happened so fast, and he spilled himself down your throat in a warm stream you eagerly gulped. It's a shame you didn't get to savour the taste, but his angle within your mouth made it essentially impossible. His hips ground to a halt from their steady rocking, and his brutal grip on the back of your scalp softened. The space was plunged into a sudden stillness, almost deafeningly quiet, save for his soft panting. 

"Did you enjoy that?" you croaked, slipping his cock from your lips with a soft pop. 

"Yes!" He meweled, as was wise enough to catch on to your game, or rather, his game. 

That was surprisingly intuitive of him. You had every intention of giving him a nip or two, or some kind of mark to remember you by. Such a shame. He helped lift you from your crouched position enough to follow his lead in exiting the vehicle. There's the third rule; no cuddling. Fishing clinking keys from the pocket of his suit jacket from around the seat, he threw the car door open before you. Cool air struck you as a shock, a punishing chill that crept over molten skin, frantically reminding you to pull up your dress to cover your breasts. Yikes. You heard the driver's door pop open, and you followed suit in the passenger's seat. The seat was biting and cold under your bare rump, not warmed from friction and body heat like the seats behind you. Your panties had been lost somewhere in the back seat, and your hair looked like you'd been struck by lightning, yet your shoes had been quickly identified in the gap between the seats. 

"Now you can go back to the gala."

He proposed it like he offered you the option, as if he were gracious enough to release you now that you've had your fill. He's probably trying to avoid future questioning about your whereabouts, but frankly, you'd rather cross that bridge when you come to it.

"I'm not going back there," you snapped, firmly reminding him of your earlier declaration. 

"To the barracks then," he countered. 

"Not the barracks either."

You both sat in your words for a moment. Orgasmic bliss won't soften your resolve; you still have no intention of willingly showing your face at that event. But still, somehow, the thought of going back to the barracks also filled you with dread. You'll have to find somewhere else, anywhere else, until you're willing. An odd twang of misery sand through your bone marrow, and once tight muscles in your face softened. It was becoming harder to reject that creeping, numbing ice in favour of hanging onto the simple orgasmic nirvana. Even without a word, the flick of the ignition flooded the immediate foreground before the truck into amber brilliance, making your eyes sting at the change in lighting. With the new lighting you could clearly see that his hair, too, looked messy, a vision of pale brown hair that caught in the low amber headlights. Yet his gaze remained fixated forward and stern. They say a picture says a thousand words. And the image of those bloodied knuckles that gripped the wheel, graced with gashes and scrapes, whispered a thousand words about the pummeling of some poor Italian soul's faculties. Wherever he was leading you, it'll somehow feel far safer than any barracks or gala, no matter how many sentries of armed guards.

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Master List

[quietwingsinthesky]

More titles!! (no pressure)

- AITA for """"being insane"""" about My Little Pony

- ah yes. me, my partner, and their 1000 dollar four foot tall blahaj

- Goin' faster than a roller coaster >:)

- googly eyes and other things your stomach can't digest

- that awkward moment when you realize you've been dead for days

- r/relationship_advice: my (cute) neighbor keeps trying to kill me but I'm immortal

- Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fight Than He Imagined

- ball handler https://youtu.be/bh9KvSDxU5w

- jailbreak

- I love you but we need to talk about the goat

LIGHTNING ROUND PT 2

terrible early 2010s creepypasta involving hyperrealistic ponies with knives

2. this is about raphael. we all know this is about raphael. it's their blahaj and they love it and it WILL be sleeping in the bed with them and gabriel thank you very much

3. crack reinvention of lucifer's s5 approach towards sam, in which he is trying his very best to get angel-married to a guy he just met, after being stuck in a cage for centuries, and every other archangel is going D: because this is not actually the normal way to approach a vessel. sam gets many shovel talks and has no idea why.

4. mass effect fic about baby krogan. 'nuff said.

5. godstiel doesn't manage to kill raphael! it's a miracle. except. no one can see them. or hear them. and as the world continues to collapse in on themselves, they are forced to watch as their brothers are destroyed and heaven falls and there is nothing they can do about it (raphael whump yippee <3)

6. samwena stanford au where. idk. rowena is around and doing witch shit and sam goes 'oh shit i better take care of that'. he is so out of his league it isn't even funny, but also he's very cute and a milf magnet and so she's taking him as her new boytoy (and then along the way acquires far more feelings than she expected. so does sam.) this all makes the 'dean coming to get him in the pilot' plot a lot more complicated.

7. Michean fic where michael goes to fetch his true vessel himself instead of sending zachariah. dean keeps stabbing him. he won't even let michael get started on his speech about how this is all god's will and inevitable and the right thing to do as good sons, he just goes straight for the stabbing. and like. it doesn't actually hurt michael. but still. it's rude.

8. (ajslajdklasjdlk that clip) anyway in honor of this. sastiel blow job fic. with. ball handling :) sam is getting those balls in his mouth and no one can stop him

9. correct me if im wrong but wasn't crowley stuck in the dungeon in s9 when gadreel killed kevin? been forever since i watched s9 i do not like it lmao BUT. my point is. kevin & crowley team up. they hate each other. unfortunately if they do not do this one or both of them will die. plus at this point kevin is so fed up with sam & dean that he's like. Fuck it! At least Crowley would pay me for this shit! because crowley actually values his assets <3 actually hold on is this evolving into like a crowley sugar daddy au what is happeni-

10. castiel gets turned into a goat. sam knows this but he has also been cursed and cannot tell anyone that castiel is, currently, a goat. dean does not know about either of these things and shenanigans ensue as sam is really, really insistent that they need to get goat!castiel into the impala. (goat!castiel is not helping because he has discovered the vinyl impala seats are very yummy.)

[kayrllylikesblitzwing]

Hnnnghhhhh I should be drawing transformers …

BUT I LIKE THE ZOMBIE MAN.

HELLO I’m posting some ocs because recently I’ve gotten into a new rp server and it’s like one of those usual “oh kids go to highschool and they have powers and it’s alllllll monitored by the government” BUT they allow aliens too so it’s pretty neat

I brought in a TON of my old ocs who I used to use Back In The Day when I roleplayed on my hero academia roblox servers which HAS to be the most haunting, most horrible Experience of my entire life thus far. But basically I redrew a lot of my characters who I added to the new server im in and gave them a basic little sketch design and NOW im going to INTRODUCE THEM TO YOU

The girl in red is Fuji she is very mean and very manipulative and very evil and her ability is basically she can just glitch. Like it’s so funny the universe thinks she’s an error so she constantly like fades out of existence and stutters and lags and stuff but still remains. She can glitch through walls, lag and glitch other people, and even insert something like a trojan virus into others, where she can control them remotely, albeit she won’t have control of her own body while she controls them…. PRETTY COOL, pretty EVIL!

NEXT the weird SpongeBob looking thing is literally god. I’m not joking!!! In the lore of my own universes this guy, Sir Boxers (which, fun fact, had a close friend name him and it stuck perfectly!!!) is legitimately god he has the ability to warp reality and do legit whatever he wants. Ofc for the sake of the rp I have to tone down his power so we made this super crazy dramatic backstory that he was like the reigning but benevolent king of his dimension but then he got usurped by some evil force and sent into another world, trapped in a weaker, smaller vessel that can’t do as much as his other godly form, and he’s like trying to return to his dimension to restore order… it’s a funny thing LOL he’s just a joke character

Next is T-0FF-E3 of TOFFEE, and I HAVE DRAWN AND POSTED HIM BEFORE!!! I just didn’t like his design cuz he was too skrunkly so I bulked him up. I already talked about him but basically he was a regular dude and when his powers started showing up he just like mutated into a machine. Super nice, doesn’t know his strength, I love toffeee

Next is Liberty and I very Love Her!!! She’s a little bit of a mess because she’s both like a gym bro but also a cat girl so she’s pretty funny LMAOO she’s extremely competitive and almost aggressively supportive but also has the ability to turn things into weapons!!! As long as she can put both of her palms on something she can turn it into a weapon but that does NOT mean she can use it effectively, because a) the more elaborate the weapon, the more energy she needs to use on it to create it, b) the mass of whatever she makes the weapon on doesn’t change so if she makes like a weapon out of something heavy she might not be able to pick it up and c) she has NO EXPERTISE in any weaponry WHATSOEVER lol

Next is… Romeo 😍😍😍 he’s fucking disgusting! Little Zombie Boy “died” when he was an infant of like some sort of tumor in his brain but even though he was medically dead his body just persisted on its wild Basically his ability is he has full control over every single individual cell in his body and can use his his abilities to manipulate his flesh and stuff however he pleases and can just put himself back together if he’s torn apart. He’s like that trope where people talk abt bats and they’re like THE BATS ARE MORE SCARED OF YOU THAN YOU ARE OF THEM becuz Romeo lowkey is scared of everyone NOT socially inept but he just doesn’t like to interact and because of his strict upbringing

Next is Coronette and OKAY SHES ONE OF MY ALIENS Coronette was initially a part of a species I made for transformers where this group called the crixstaline were Cybertronian minicons that escaped to another planet, initially just to colonize it but then they sorta mutated with it… anyway Coronette is similar to that but I removed all of Cybertronian stuff from her stuff and made them just a species of PURE crystal theyre so cool they have their own language and like customs and stuff and UGH I might post their lore Bible one day it’s so cool anyway. Coronette is a princess from Crixstal, which is a planet that fell to foreign alien influences, and she hates earth and is stupid and dumb and wants to go home but doesn’t know WHY she can’t go home (planet was destroyed L BOZO) and she’s an iPad kid

TWO MORE second to last is CHIP and first of all I would like to say he is named after my dog and I have three ocs named after my dog two are named Chip Mooney and one is Chip Gebelhoff and the second Chip Mooney is based off Neil cicierega—

BUT ANYWAY this is the ORIGINAL CHIP other than my dog Chip used to wear red but I made him blue bcuz it fits him better and because I wanted a rainbow with my characters designs Anyway chip has the super power of onomatopoeia which means that when he says words like Pow or Boom they actually take affect in the world around him. This is disastrous and deadly and after he unintentionally nearly killed his father by activating his powers on accident, he has become mostly selective mute. He’s really guarded with how and when he talks and he’s JUST like those redditors who write like scripts of how they’re supposed to like interact and talk with people so he specifically doesn’t accidentally say a word that might trigger his power’s affects anyway he has my favorite ability

AND FINALLLLY we have Whizzer he’s a little guy the youngest oc of the line up. HES AWESOME he’s actually a remake of one of my OLDEST OCS EVER, who was an umbrella academy oc. Whizzer has a weird little astronaut bubble head not just to protect himself from anything, but to mostly protect others— FOR YOU SEE, whizzer’s ability is that his lungs are SO POWERFUL, if he breathes, he can basically desolate an environment of all of its oxygen and even take the oxygen out of other peoples lungs. He wears his little bubble so he doesn’t suffocate no one but also so he doesn’t breathe in nasty stuff like smog or bugs all of the time cuz that??? That would be bad.

ANYWAY. That’s my oc post have a wonderful day!!! Will blitz post soon❤️❤️❤️

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #7: “Bloodcorn” | December 17, 2007 - 12:00AM | S01E07

Xavier sees an ad for a popular mass-produced cookie which is advertising cookie-tampon combos. Xavier takes the ad’s claim that there was a “mix-up” at the factory, at face value, and becomes overly concerned. He travels there and when he realizes how much pollution comes out of the plant he plugs up a drainage pipe. Toxic sludge backs up into the factory and causes the plant to close. 

Xavier decides to help one of the now jobless workers by going to his farm to perform various dances (a rain dance, which he forgets, a memory dance, which he also forgets, and an irony-neutralizing dance that only works if it’s raining). Fed up, the farmer shoots into the air at god. Blood pours from the sky, which invigorates his crops but turns them into monsters. Xavier saves the day by launching copious cookie tampons into the sky, plugging up the blood rain. 

This one is only hampered by the fact that two episodes ago we had blood Indians and blood cowboys fighting in a similar blood-meets-soil vein. It’s no big deal, really. Both episodes are very strong. It really only makes things confusing in conversation if you were trying to recall which episodes were which. It’s a shallow complaint. For my roommate and myself this was appointment television for us, and I still remember the parts where we laughed hardest. Xavier’s panic when the ad’s “mix-up” claim happens had us in hysterics. I’m not sure if the “mix-up at the factory” trope has aged any since this episode aired. Just in case it has: please know it was a thing. Um... look it up!!!!

There’s another moment that’s notable for perhaps requiring additional context: a sequence where Adult Swim style text supposedly replaces a dream sequence that is too mind-blowing to render. It looks a little bit like the Adult Swim bumpers of the era. The text looks rather large here, and I’m guessing that’s because I’m watching this on HBOMax. The show originally aired letterboxed in a 4:3 image, so I’m guessing the font size was effected by that in the conversion. NOTE: Nobody is allowed to make fun of me for typing the previous paragraph.

There is an early part where Xavier is watching “Darfur Doodles”, a presumably tasteless/wacky program starring malnourished war orphans. An announcer says “Darfur Doodle will be right black”, a joke that I love so much. It’s the kind of thing only a nihilistic POC could write and get away with. This is why we need more nihilistic POC writing comedy. 

Another incredible joke that I think often: I didn’t even really remember that it was in this episode or scene: During one of the cookie ads, they are showing a montage of people giving various testimonials about the new product, and among them is just some dude in a red convertible saying “what do I care?” and driving off while flipping the bird (some of you know what I mean!!!!). So fucking funny. This another joke I can remember bustin’ up laughin’ at. Lookin’ glorious.

More jokes I liked, only because I’m in a mood to remember about jokes: “she’s 14” “nice and legal”. Also the part where the evil blood cloud uses a smokestack to blow cigarette-style smoke onto a bunch of people, causing them to become soot-covered, immediately causing them to be beaten by police officers. Also one last last thing: there is a brief bit where they use a small bit of footage of a dog-faced humanoid looking anguished. This is from the 1981 Clash of the Titans, and this clip was repeatedly over the course of Wonder Showzen, so much so that I almost consider this to be a cross-over.

MAIL BAG

Your Katrina/Soda Pop joke would have cost you your job if you were the Aflac Duck.

If I were the aflac duck I would’ve contracted terminal angel wing from eating all the popcorn and euthanized by the haven humane society (the same people who forced us to kill our dog for being too noisy)

[sol-consort]

God that vibration in a Turians voice is what made me realize that “oh Garrus IS hot” in Mass Effect 2 because I liked him in 1 but didn’t think he was hot yet. I must’ve been too focused on trying not to romance someone in 1 which I almost failed at. Also I know that people have already said this out of the blue but I do hope you’re okay, you’re a cool dude who makes dope stuff even if I don’t comment which I should and pretty much the reason I’m still somewhat active on tumblr now

I feel out of the loop because I am desperately trying to find ME2 Garrus hot but something about how dismissive and distant he is puts me off. No like I tottally get it you've been through a lot BUT I WAS DEAD.

I LITERALLY WAS DEAD FOR 2 YEARS AND ALL HE HAS TO SAY "oh Shepard it's you." FUCK YOU MAN I WAS GOING IN FOR A HUG.

I haven't done his loyalty mission yet so maybe he will warm up on me eventually. Idk no strong opinions on romance so far except for the theif girl but she already has someone so I am fucked.

I was fully planning on cheating on Kaidan here.

I imported my ME1 save and the game currently has me flagged in Kaidan's romance because his picture is in my bedroom. It's supposed to turn down when I cheat on him and he will confront me about it in ME3

But now. I can't find anyone fuckable. Even Garrus who I was down bad for because of the stars in his eyes literally became batman 2.0 and is blasting my chemical romance from the back of the ship but no one wants to confront him about it and instead hope the phase ends soon.

Jacob is. Jacob lacks rizz. Jacob makes me feel like I'm sexually harrassing him because of how uncomfortable he seems whenever I pick a romance option. I actually had to google if he was romance-able just to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Who's left huh????? Who's dick I supposed to suck in order to get my shepard a malewife??

There is Liara. Liara is always fucking there standing in the corner. Ruining my Kaidan romance and tricking me into her romance like some kind of fae.

I hope the Garrus fever infects me soon too because it looks like I will end up staying loyal to Kaidan against my will. That man probably spent the two years after Shepard's death to make sure all men in the galaxy are unfuckable and all hot women are straight, just on the off chance Shepard comes back to life and tries to get some.

I mean he isn't wrong, Shepard flirted with him while on the job and while being his captain, he knows his commander will flirt with their co-works without any shame so why even take the risk?

God I miss Ashley.

On other news, I keep meeting Turians I want to fuck. Who are not an option to fuck. It's a twisted irony of fate because I keep refusing Garrus.

Also I'm starting to regret the fact I made Anderson the council. He seems really sad, but man it felt great watching Udina get told to fuck off.

Is he happier if he doesn't become the council? What choice did you make? Does he become something else then or do we even get to meet him?

And it is funny how all of this is your fault. I wouldn't have installed Mass effect or gave it a chance wasn't it for you ask a long while back. I would've let it rot in my library for a year then finally gave it a chance.

You stole my bg3 obsession and replaced it with mass effect! How dare you! I am very thankful you introduced me to this because I never realised how fun fps can be. I even bought another fps on sale today, called hellsinger.

But it is really freaky how much such a small thing like sending an ask detoured my life so much and changed my interests. It's a whole new side I wasn't even aware of its existence.

Thank you, genuinely. But I have learned my lesson and won't fall to your tricks twice. I'm not even gonna search up that other game you recommend until after I finish mass effect. Just in case it turns out to be jaw dropping too.

But the director ME2 took in gameplay isn't my favourite. I'm too squishy and the enemies are too squishy now. I can't be a cool sniper jumping from place to place and headshoting enemies. Now I have to hide behind fucked up barriers and wait for the enemy to reload or use my invisibility then I go in for the snipe.

The weapon feels more limited too, I get that they made them more unique but I prefer having the stats menu more. I only have two snipers so far and I hate both of them but I'm forced to use one because there are so little options.

It feels more resident evil-ish? Or maybe because I'm on veteran difficulty? I tried lowering it but it doesn't fix the issue.

My problem isn't that the enemies are dying too fast my problem is that I am dying too fast. I hate the new points system and level up too, I miss the more detailed one in ME1. I also loath the hacking minigames in here.

The dialogue and animations improved a lot tho, the missions diversity too! The heist one was such a blast I felt like I was in a movie. It was so cheesy and cliche in a very endearing way oh my god.

I like my Shepard but I miss their face scar. Why did they remove that option? I had it in like a cool reminder of the blitz or something.

Also if you pick earthborn you get these two wholesome newsrports

And this one for War hero

They made me smile. But also wtf people are having WEDDINGS on MY memorial??? GET OFF MY STATUE.

I also wished that people would've had a bigger reaction to us showing up alive, yk? Not even a hug so far. Even Anderson :(

But yeah that's all for now.

And I appreciate it dude, checking up on me. You're cool too. And about the comments, I can't exactly force you to do it, I can't force anyone, it's just a choice they make everyday.

But I am curious because I never thought you were one of my readers. You don't leave likes on my writing posts, and you have only sent one or two requests so long ago. You do like my writing advice and opinions sometimes. Is that why you follow me? Because I'm funny ofc.

But nah don't tell me. I don't wanna know, it will ruin the mystery. I pay attention to the posts each person who frequents here likes, and I get a general idea of their preference. Sometimes, I can predict which posts will be liked by who and which will be ignored by others. It's a fun minigame. Humans love patterns.

But yeah. I don't want random comments on stories or fics you haven't read or finished. I want them from the people who read and liked the story. I want to hear their opinion I want to know what they thought. But if you are dinning and dashing then...again I can't force to do anything. It just makes me sad really.

I like talking, but not about myself or feelings. I am the way I am, flaws and all and I don't have to explain it. This cycle will repeat, I might give up tomorrow, I might not, I can't predict the future. One day my thread will eventually snap.

But not today, I'm still working on fics, I am still posting. I'm not giving up yet.

And I hope this inspires you in any way since you're back to writing, I hope that you don't give up too no matter how scary quiet it gets. I hope you're more resilient than me. I hope you love what you write because it is very deserving of love.

[jackdawsfavorite]

Your player character being the center of the wheel that the spokes of your companions rotate around is so strange in BG3. I’ve been pulling up memories of comparable RPGs trying to figure out what’s bugging me, and I think it’s as simple as: in Mass Effect and Tides of Numenara and Tyranny*, you got something special going on that motivates people to tag along even if that’s all they’re doing, trailing in your gravity. In BG3 some NPC is like, “We’ve been waiting for someone like You, who has a brain worm but isn’t horny for its associated god-thing,” and I’m like, there are four of us. And I got more back home! And while you can technically enter any conversation with a non-companion as another party member, and get their specialty dialogue options and everything, you can’t effectively roleplay as them in those convos without everyone still reacting as if your player character was the one who made those choices, so it doesn’t seem like you’re supposed to play as companions interchangeably like in Divinity 2 even though the mechanics for it are kind of still there. So it’s just my semigeneric ass in the driver’s seat making all these fuck-off huge calls. Even if I was playing a premade character instead of custom i bet it would feel weird.****

There’s an option with shadowheart to straight up say, “You don’t make the decisions, I do,” and maybe I should have picked it to see if she’d had something to say about nobody having ever agreed to that and there being no reason for that to be the case.

*Dragon Age 1 isn’t included because I don’t remember it well enough to say. Dragon Age 2 isn’t included because it did a good job of making you just a bunch of people who lived in the same city and got involved in each other’s business all the time. Or didn’t get involved! You could just ignore whoever and it wasn’t weird because you weren’t camping together. Dragon Age 3 isn’t included because the amount of power you’re abruptly given in that game is ridiculous. Divinity: Original Sin 2 isn’t included because it did a good job at giving everyone their own shit to deal with and reason to be traveling together, and those reasons could break down.** **I straight up turned on and killed half my party partway through my first playthrough because There Can Only Be One Victor is a big part of the plot and we hadn’t come to an agreement on who’d get to be big cheese. I probably didn’t have to turn on them right then, but I chose to and I felt good about it because one of them had a demon attached to her who couldn’t be allowed access to power and the other one I didn’t fucking like. Meanwhile in BG3 I’m like, by all rights I should leave Astarion to fend for himself on this beach. By all rights I should kick him out of the group when he literally fucking kills you if you don’t stop him and makes me reload because I’m not gonna spend resources patching up from 1 hp immediately after a long rest, and then makes me regret the reload later because even though the narrative triggers and small choices in this game have been unnuanced and mechanically fickle maybe the scene where he wants to talk about what eating other companions would be like would’ve included a line where I point out it’s not funny because I know he can’t control himself because last time he had the opportunity he fucking killed me to death.*** Obviously I’m glad I kept him around because I’m engaging in his story, but it’s less fun to break roleplay to make very specifically unwise decisions to do that. Feels like hopping on a rail. Which is another post altogether. …What was I talking about?

***I think I literally said, “At least he’s sexy,” out loud at some point, and how do you think I feel about that now??

****Except maybe the githyanki. I don’t know much about her because I just didn’t find her before moving on from the first map and figure I’ll catch her on a replay, but she seems very domineering.

[a-girl-called-bob]

started playing this super nintendo RPG last night called 'Eternal Filena' (Eien no Filena; the game was never officially translated, but a pretty solid fan patch exists here). The game plays very much like Final Fantasy 5 - it's a turn-based RPG that uses an ATB meter affected both by the speed of a character and the weight of their equipment.

So get this: In a world with radical technological disparity, the Empire has conquered every nation around it. You play as Filena, a girl from a subjugated race raised as a boy for her own protection - though, that's a bit complicated. See, girls of your race are treated poorly, sure - most work in either service or service - but guys of your race aren't treated that much better, as most of them are forced into gladiatorial combat training from a young age, as that gladiator combat is the most popular form of mass entertainment for the Imperial populace. Still, due to reasons that come up fairly early in the game, maintaining the disguise is crucial.

Now, very early on (like, 'before the first real fight' early), you're put into a situation where you're expected to sleep with a woman, Lila. She naturally discovers that you're in disguise, but she's willing to keep your secret - after all, she can't exactly leave without staying the night, or she'll likely be arrested or killed. Lila ends up posing as (?) Filena's wife, and this persists despite them all leaving the gladiatorial combat environment fairly soon.

You also meet Nest, the guy who essentially writes the booking of the gladiator battles in order to create interesting 'stories' - like Kayfabe, if the fights were actually to the death. You basically start attracting interest around town, initially, because you were the obvious jobber for the first matchup and you pull off a surprising victory.

After a few fights, your reputation changes and the town opens up a bit, but after you're forced to fight your mentor in the arena, the plot really gets started. As he lays, dying from your spear, he hands you a token of your heritage and tells you to break into the information office and use their machines to decode it. This is where the game picks up, and where I'll stop summarizing.

This game is apparently an adaptation of a light novel series from the 1990s, and also got an anime that was apparently not that good.

Eternal Filena isn't technically impressive, and it has a couple of annoying parts where grinding is necessary (though, one point - which is very funny, because it's supposed to be an escape sequence - has a room with a full-heal machine that also has random encounters that drop way more experience than you've had from random encounters to that point, so it's a perfect place to grind despite 'Get the Fuck Out' klaxons going; it's also a necessary place to grind, because there's a super overleveled boss at the end of that area), but it's a really solid turn-based RPG on its mechanical merits nonetheless.

While the story is certainly not new, and it's been done more effectively since, a lot of the story elements that are here are really quite good. The translation patch does a good job of capturing the intended weight of most scenes (at least in the early-game, I'm only 3 hours in at this point and the world looks pretty big from here). There are some fairly obvious gender-feelings around (Lila's increasing insistence that she's her wife becomes both funnier and more subtext-laden as the game continues, especially as more and more people discover Filena's secret), and the setting raises some interesting questions that I hope will be touched on in some throwaway NPC dialogue.

In all, Eternal Filena is a solid RPG that deserves a second look. I'd just recommend making sure your fast-forward and turbo-A/B keybinds are set on your emulator, because some sections (especially the aforementioned grinding) can be made much quicker and less annoying that way.

In order to prevent copyright strike issues, please DM me for questions about how to get specific ROMs. Most games are available on Archive.org if you search 'no-intro' and limit it to software, though you'll need a free account.

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

This is gonna sound so tinfoil hat but realizing that memes were created by the US military for mind control and propaganda purposes changed my life. I know it sounds crazy but:

The term “meme” comes from the Greek root “mimesis,” which means to imitate or recreate. And it sounds hilarious but memes are a form of Memetic Warfare; basically inorganic streams of information that are repeated and spammed all over the web until they are internalized by society.

A very base example of memetic warfare is for example people claiming Pepe the Frog was a far-right symbol for Trump supporters lmao. But that’s the only one they’ll admit to, when memes go deeper in turning war and human suffering into a form of ridicule and cheap entertainment; such as the current situation in Ukraine. Aside from people making insensitive jokes about civilian deaths in Ukraine, the west used memes to galvanize citizens into supporting WWIII and NATO intervention:

By portraying NATO as a potentially heroic force and a saviour through memes, the US propaganda division could quickly make people forget about the failed US “interventions” in Iraq and Afghanistan in which NATO caused even more civilian deaths.

Which leads me to the next point: memes are a form of dumbing down society. With mimesis, they repeat the same formula of images with bottom and top text with some asinine joke to program you into reacting instantly with “lol funny meme.” Have you ever been scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you think “wow fuck my life I’m so stupid compared to when I was young and didn’t have technology?”

That’s not just a side effect of technology, but the entire intention. The dumber the masses are, the easier they are to manipulate. If they’re programmed to react to basic images, then that’s even easier than the era when the government had to produce actual books and audio-visual propaganda that took more astute work on their part.

If you doubt the whole “dumbing down” concept, consider the fact that society now has no culture, art or history and there’s been 0 genius thinkers in the 21st century. Memes are literally all that’s left of our society to the point where they’re featured in entire museum exhibits lmaoo

Once you consider the lack of cultural capital in the 21st century, you’ll see that now everything has been turned into an ironic joke to normalize suffering. Tired of work, school or covid? Just make a meme about it and stfu! There is no reaction, but memes are a form of inaction and complacency in which everything is bad comedy.

I’m still gonna be a dumb bitch and send memes to my friends bc sadly it’s a modern tool of communication which won’t go away but while I do I’ll remember the creepy ass NATO strategist talking about using memes as mind control…