#the only people he's consistently cared about are rhodey pepper and happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

persephonesfill · 4 years

Text

choke on me—chapter two

breathe me in

choke on me—chapter one

choke on me—chapter three

a/n: so i actually ended up splitting chapter two into two parts because this ended up being an absolute beast.

summary: Tony’s in denial but Steve’s no quitter.

rating: explicit

warning(s): implied child abuse/neglect, nightmares, anxiety attacks, heavy smut

—————

The heat of the shower works wonders on Tony’s muscles. He stands directly under the spray letting the water cascade down his back. He’s proud of himself. For the longest, after escaping from that awful cave, he couldn’t stand the sight of water, let alone submerge himself in it.

Baths were still an obstacle for him, but showers he could do on a good day.

The shower door slides open, letting in a gust of cold air. Tony shivers at the sudden temperature change...and at who’s joining him.

Steve slides the door shut and walks up to him until he's flush with Tony's back.

“Running away from me, already?” he murmurs into Tony’s ear. Steve’s like a furnace, heat coming off of him in waves. The shower has gone from mildly hot to scorching.

“No,” Tony says, raising his voice so Steve can hear him over the rush of the water. “Made a promise, remember?”

Steve hums and wraps his arms around Tony’s waist like he’s afraid Tony’s going to vanish into thin air. “Good,” he says and presses a kiss to Tony’s neck.

“Ah,” Tony hisses as Steve plants another kiss right over his bite mark.

“Sensitive?” Steve says against his skin.

Tony turns around in Steve’s arms to look him in his face.

Steve’s eyes are dark, and the bastard’s smirking. Who even smirks in real life?

The water has turned his hair, darkening it from gold to honey. Tony’s stomach lurches as his eyes go down from Steve’s face...to the planes of his chest...and his thighs and—

Oh.

He’s fucked.

Quite literally, given how thick Steve’s cock is, and steadily rising.

“Quite,” Tony finally says. “Not all of us have super healing abilities, Captain.”

“Captain?” Steve arches a brow.

“Oh, you like that, huh?” Tony didn’t know when he started leaning forward.

“A little bit,” Steve whispers and meets him halfway.

Tony closes his eyes and simply lets himself be. Life consists of nothing but warmth and water and Steve’s lips.

"Let all of the doubt and self-loathing and intrusive thoughts come later." Tony wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, moaning into his mouth when Steve’s hands slide lower to cup his ass.

Steve backs him into the tile, turning them away from the direct onslaught of the shower.

It scares him how quickly Steve is learning his body. His fingers and tongue work tirelessly to make him burst into flames, and Tony wants to be consumed by him.

Steve sinks to his knees, looking at Tony the entire while. His jaw drops like he’s in some cheesy over-acted high school play, but fuck, does the sight of Steve on his knees make his brain short-circuit.

“Can I?” Steve asks, his eyes darker than Tony had ever seen them.

Tony doesn’t hesitate. “Fuck, yes, you can.”

Steve’s answering grin is sharp, something smug and possessive hiding behind it.

His hand wraps around Tony’s length, stroking him to full hardness until Tony’s practically sobbing.

“Steve, please,” he says, not recognizing his own voice. His cock pulses in Steve's hands. “Please, I need your mouth.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

Tony gasps when Steve takes him into his mouth. It’s a struggle not to come right there, down Steve’s throat, but who could blame him? This was years of adolescent fantasies coming to life.

Steve, with his hair glistening like a halo, his skin slick and golden. On his knees, practically worshipping Tony like a suppliant at the altar.

Steve works Tony over with the ease of someone used to spending time on his knees, suckling at the head of his cock, letting his tongue dip into Tony’s slit to lap at the precome pooling there.

Steve groans when Tony slides his hands into Steve’s hair, thrusting his hips shallowly into his mouth. He pulls off of Tony's cock, and Tony whines at the loss of his mouth.

"Tony," Steve says, eyes burning. "Don't hold back on me, baby. I can take it."

"Are you sure?" Steve may be a super-soldier, but Tony's not going to be the one stuck explaining to Fury that Captain America was out of commission because of a blowjob gone wrong.

"Trust me," Steve says, grinning. "I can do this all day."

"Okay. Fuck, okay, Steve," Tony finds himself saying. It's hard to say no when Steve looks like this, lips swollen, eyes blown wide and begging to suck Tony off.

Tony presses forward, nudging his cock against Steve's lips, who gladly takes him back into his mouth. Steve's mouth is so hot and wet and true to his word, Tony doesn't hold back. He fists his hands into Steve's hair and bucks his hips forward, savoring the warmth. Steve takes his cock like he was made for it, his big hands settling on Tony's thighs in a bruising grip.

He doesn't know how long they've been in the shower, but the water is starting to run cold, which is a feat within itself. Steve swallows around him, and Tony's coming down his throat with a shout. Steve moans around him, not letting up on him for a second until Tony has to physically push him away. He's never come so hard in his life and never within such a short period of time in between.

The muscles in Tony's stomach jump, still reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm as Steve rises to his feet. Later on, Tony couldn't tell anyone why he did it, but he pulls Steve into a fierce kiss and licks the taste of himself from Steve's mouth. Steve kisses him back just as hard until the water is like a thousand icy pinpricks, and their skin begins to prune up. Tony returns the favor and gets Steve off one more time, stroking him off with his hands.

JARVIS breaks the little spell that has washed over them and reminds them that they need to eat at some point.

"And you've already skipped breakfast, sir," JARVIS says. "It is recommended that humans eat at least three meals a day."

Tony sighs, but the gurgle of his stomach does make a good point.

Steve laughs. "I guess we did get a bit carried away."

"You got carried away. I got swept up in it."

"Oh, really?" Steve asks, bracing his arms on either side of Tony's head. "We're gonna pretend you weren't begging for it, huh?"

Tony can't help himself as his eyes flit down to Steve's lips. "You begged too, Rogers."

"And what of it?" Steve says like he's challenging him.

What of it, indeed. Tony doesn't know what they're doing or what this thing between them even is. The way Steve's looking at him like he wants to eat him whole makes him pause. If he's not careful, they'll spend another hour getting lost in each other, he's sure of it.

"Whatever we want it to be. No labels, just us being us."

A muscle in Steve's jaw works. It's not the answer the other man wanted, but it's the only answer Tony's going to give him. He can take it or leave it.

"You were on HYDRA's list," Steve says. The abrupt change in subject leaves him reeling, but he'll hear Steve out. "Project Insight," Steve clarifies.

Tony can't say that he's surprised. He knows he's a threat, even without his suit, especially without his suit.

"Is that why you pounced on me?" Tony says, raising his brows. "You were worried about me, Rogers?"

"Yeah," Steve says. "I was. I...thought about you. I fought for you."

His heart speeds up, and he's not sure if it's from adrenaline or if he's still recovering from that mindblowing orgasm or something else—something he doesn't want to confront just yet.

"I'd do it again," Steve says firmly. "I know we didn't speak for those two years, but I needed to talk to you. In person." Steve's arms fall at his sides, and Tony wraps his arms around Steve's neck. He knows he's giving Steve all kinds of mixed signals. Pressing up against him one moment and pushing him away the next, but Tony would have to be a heartless bastard to push him away right now.

"We didn't get much talking done," Tony jokes.

"We're talking right now," Steve says.

And why are they talking when there are much better things they could be doing?

"Hmm," he says and kisses him softly this time. It's been so long since Tony's been touched with tenderness. Steve moans into his mouth, and his arms come back up, perched on Tony's waist.

They miss out on lunch too. JARVIS is absolutely miffed.

***

He's not going to try to put a word to their thing. First of all, it's too complex to be shoved into one category, and friends with benefits sounds juvenile.

"Are we even friends?" He thinks to himself on occasion. Rhodey and Happy and Pepper come to mind then. Tony's relationships with them are warm and familiar, rooted in years of misadventures with each other. Being with them is as comforting as sitting by a fireplace.

Being with Steve...is not like that. If the others are a fireplace, then Steve is a wildfire. Tony knows that he'll end up burned if he gets too close, but he can’t help but be drawn in by his light anyway.

“It was a pleasure to burn,” he thinks wryly.

But no, Steve...Steve wasn’t his friend.

Friends didn’t palm each other under the dinner table.

Tony never thought Captain America would be so handsy, but he was quickly learning that Steve Rogers and Captain America were two different people.

Steve Rogers was a mouthy, stubborn little punk from Brooklyn who went after what he wanted with a single-minded focus.

And right now, that focus was determined to make Tony come in his pants like a teenager.

Perhaps he should have seen it coming. After their little...tryst in the shower, Steve had asked him about his kinks.

Tony recalls Steve nibbling at his throat while Tony admitted that he had always wanted to try a little exhibitionism.

"Nothing, ah, nothing too out there," Tony said, tilting his head to allow Steve better access. They were curled up on his sofa, one of Tony's throws strewn over them to somewhat preserve their modesty if any of the other Avengers happened across them. Steve had taken no time at all to pull Tony into his arms like he knew he was going to run off any minute.

"Why not?" Steve had asked, looking genuinely curious. He had made no nasty comments about Tony's "playboy" past, thankfully. Most of his lovers had assumed that he would be down for anything, which wasn't the case, especially after Afghanistan.

"I may not be CEO anymore, but I'm still the face of Stark Industries. There are some things the public wouldn't forgive. Ugh, especially Fox News."

Steve hummed, kissing him on his shoulder, and it was the little things like that that made Tony's stomach flip.

"It'd be fun to try," Steve admitted.

"Well, when we're both not internationally known superheroes, let's give it a shot, yeah?"

Steve had simply raised his eyebrows and pinned Tony's arms above his head. "Getting smart with me, genius?"

"And if I am?" Tony said because he lived to stir the pot.

Steve bit at his lips, and they didn't get much talking done after that.

One moment, Tony had been indulging in quiet conversation with Bruce about his travels. His fellow scientist had decided to treat them all to a wonderful samosa recipe he had picked up in India. It was a breakthrough for Bruce, sharing a part of himself with the other Avengers without fear.

Tony had said as much to the man when he felt it, something gliding up his leg. Tony chokes on his words, and much to his chagrin, five pairs of eyes zone in on him.

"Something wrong, Tony?" Steve asks, looking all too innocent as he takes a sip of his soda.

That. Fucking. Bastard.

Steve had started team dinners because they needed to “get along” and “work on their social skills.” Tony was starting to think Steve just started them because he was a shameless exhibitionist.

"Just fine," he says, smiling in a way that surely made him seem manic. "Just swallowed the wrong way is all." He was going to murder Steve, Fury's blustering be damned.

"He's the only living survivor to receive the super-soldier serum!" Imaginary Fury shouted at him.

"He's about to get my foot up his ass!" Tony shouted internally.

The others just shrugged and let it go, but Tony could feel Clint's eyes, oddly enough, along with Steve's, watching him. Steve, he figured that the asshole just wanted a front-row seat to Tony's torment, but Clint was a surprise. A nasty surprise. With a codename like Hawkeye, there's not much someone like that would miss...

More pressure on his thigh now. Tony was prepared this time, resuming his conversation with Bruce. He took a sip of his water to hide his smirk as he caught Steve's furrowed brow out the corner of his eye.

"I can do this all day, Cap."

The pressure leaves his thigh, and Tony deflates a bit in disappointment. Well...Tony had always believed in giving as good as he got. Making up his mind, Tony toes off his shoes and waits until Steve raises his soda can to his lips once more to run his toes up the other man's calf.

The bug-eyed look on Steve's face as he hurriedly tries not to spit his drink all over the dinner table is satisfying, to say the least.

"Everything okay, Steve?" Tony says, giving him his most blinding smile.

Steve takes a moment to dab at his face with a napkin before he speaks. "My soda was a little strong. Caught me by surprise."

Tony hums and spends the rest of the dinner teasing Steve like his life depends on it. Although Natasha and Clint stare pointedly at each other from time to time, the others don't say anything. Tony wouldn't be surprised if those two had a telepathic connection with each other.

Steve, unsurprisingly, volunteers to stay behind and clean up while everybody else leaves, and Tony follows his lead.

"You too, Stark?" Natasha says, arching a brow. "Since when do you clean?"

"Since now," he says. "I can't do my part, Romanov?"

"No, no, I'm not saying that." Her eyes flit back and forth between him and Steve. Clint's waiting by the elevators with his arms crossed over his chest. "Just don't make a mess."

He can't help but feel like there's a hidden meaning to her words, and knowing her, there is. She leaves before Tony can get the last word, her hair swaying with every step.

The elevator doors have barely closed on them before Steve's boxed him into a corner, his arms braced on either side of Tony. "That wasn't nice," he says. There's a tilt to his lips, so Tony knows he's not actually mad.

"You weren't nice," Tony counters. Steve rests his hands on Tony's hips, a stance of theirs that's quickly becoming one of Tony's favorites. He'd die before he'd admit it out loud, but he likes the size difference between him and Steve. Especially when the other man is leaning down to kiss him.

"How could I make it up to you?" Steve says, his eyes not so subtly shifting down to look at Tony's lips.

It's hard to say no to Steve when he's looking at him like that with those ridiculous eyes of his.

And well, if they end up making out against Tony's marble countertops, that's their business.

***

It's easy being with Steve. Too easy. He keeps on waiting for the other foot to drop, for Steve to realize that there's better things he could be doing than fucking around with Tony. He's quickly learning that Steve isn't the type to be needlessly cruel. Steve volunteers with the cleanup crews that come in and take care of their messes after each mission. He stops to take pictures and sign autographs when he runs into fans on the street, and he's quick to call someone out on their bullshit, and Tony...admires him for it. Steve Rogers is a good man, a seemingly perfect man. It was inevitable for the other man to grow on him.

Everything changes one night after a night terror hits Tony particularly hard. He's no stranger to nightmares. Waking up with his heart trying to escape his chest, his hands clawing at the edges of his arc reactor scars was pretty par for the course. Didn't make it easier, though.

Tony stumbles out of bed and sinks to his knees. His bedroom is spinning, or maybe he's the one going in circles. He's not really sure.

His knees. He needs to tuck his head between his knees. Tony does just that, breathing in deeply through his nose and exhaling through his mouth.

The dreams took turns, it seemed. One night Tony is floating aimlessly in the cold vacuum of space. Another night, Obie yanks the arc reactor from his chest.

Tonight had been an arc reactor night, but instead of Obie betraying him...it was Steve.

Tony inhaled again, trying to shove the nightmare down to the deepest wells of his mind despite his therapist's advice.

"Let the thought come and go, like a car passing you by on the street." Tony was much more a fan of beating his intrusive thoughts back with a stick.

He's not the type to place too much stock in dreams. He works better with numbers and facts, always has, and the facts tell him that Steve Rogers is a good man.

"Too good," his brain supplies unhelpfully. His clothes are sticking to him with sweat, but the thought of taking a shower is just a little too much to bear. He has wipes in his workshop for when he's too in the zone to put aside his work and hop in the shower. And for his bad days.

He hates his bad days, how touch and go they are. How some days, he'll be fine, almost normal, and another, crossing his arms over his chest, still trying to protect his long gone arc reactor. As he gets to his feet and slowly, almost mechanically starts to gather clean clothes to change into, a part of him recoils at having to clean himself with wipes like he's a child.

"Recovery isn't a ladder," his therapist was fond of reminding him. "Some days are going to be harder than others."

He knows enough about trauma and its effects on brain processes to know that, but it still doesn't make it any easier to accept. He wants to be better, and he wants to be better now, but life doesn't work out that way, does it?

He makes it to his workshop uninterrupted and strips, uncaring of who might see him. His workshop is his space, and despite living with them for months on end now, Tony still needs his space. Even Steve never tried to enter the sanctity of his workshop. Steve.

Tony's dream comes to him unbidden. Everything plays out the way it had in real life; the sonic device he created used to paralyze him, the smug, sneering monologue. The only difference is that it's Steve's sky blue eyes full of hate that Tony's staring into as he rips out the one thing keeping him alive.

Tony wipes himself down and gets dressed in record time. He's not going back to sleep anytime soon, and he's caught up on all of his projects for SI and the Avengers themselves. If he's being honest with himself, which happens once in a blue moon, he needs some comfort. When he leaves his workshop, in a strange sense of deja vu, he finds Steve waiting for him, almost like he was summoned by Tony. Steve's hair is mussed; he looks like he woke up in the middle of the night too. He's leaning against the wall, looking cool and mysterious...that is if it weren't for the fuzzy bunny slippers currently dominating his feet.

Tony waits for his brain to start sending him signals of "Run!" or "Danger!" but nothing ever comes. It's hard to be afraid of a man in bunny slippers and who's currently turning so red he could resemble a strawberry.

"Natasha thinks she's funny," Steve says. His voice is deep and burly, still syrupy thick with sleep.

"Natasha is hilarious," Tony admits. He never thought that a ruthless assassin would also be a relentless prankster, but it explained why she got on so well with Clint. She didn't curb the archer's mischievous streak. She encouraged it. "Don't tell her I said that."

Steve chuckled, ducking his head. "Duly noted. She'd never let you live it down."

Tony walks past Steve into his kitchenette and pulls out two mugs, a saucepan, and a whisk. If he's staying up tonight, at least he has good company. The least they could have are some good drinks to accompany them.

"Why do you wear them?" He asks, grabbing a carton of milk from the fridge and giving it a hesitant sniff. Tony's not the greatest cook, but he'll be damned if he didn't make the best hot chocolate in all of New York. Passed on from Maria Stark herself, he never used the instant powdered mixes that were so commonplace. After returning home from long days being a glamorous socialite or a generous charity organizer or simply being Howard Stark's wife, his mother would end the night with a hot chocolate in one hand, and Tony curled into her side.

"They're cozy," Steve says, taking a seat at the island that divides the rest of Tony's private floor from his kitchen. "They're free, and bunnies are cute. What's not to like?"

"You've got me there," Tony says, going through the motions of measuring out cocoa powder, sugar, and vanilla. He can feel Steve's eyes on him, drinking in his every movement. Not in a hungry way for once, but almost like he's curious. In casual awe of Tony in a kitchen.

Tony wants to bring up his dream, he wants Steve to reassure him that he'd never hurt him that they're friends and teammates, and they—

"Do you want to look at fan art?" he says instead, decidedly not thinking about the status of their relationship.

Steve blinks at the abrupt change in their conversation, but he rolls with it, bless him. "Of what?"

"Of us," Tony says, whisking all the ingredients together, so it doesn't burn. If he's also avoiding Steve's gaze, well, it's just a coincidence. Milk burns with a quickness when you're heating it on the stove, after all. "Sometimes when I'm bored or need a pick me up, I...look at the fanart kids send in."

He doesn't know why he's telling Steve this. It's not a case of Tony being self-centered, looking at fan art of himself (and the other Avengers). It's just...kids are so pure and good. They're blank slates before society, or their parents or both screw them over, and looking at their fanart makes Tony dislike most humans a little less. It reminds him of why he fights. At the end of the day, putting on the suit isn't about saving his own life, or the glory of it all, or even atoning for his past mistakes. It's about making sure that those kids who had enough kindness in their heart to spare a kind word and some art to a virtual stranger still have a world to live in the next day. Not that anybody would believe Tony.

And then he remembers, "Quit pretending to be a hero."

Maybe Steve won't believe him either.

"Okay," Steve says.

Tony keeps his eyes on the saucepan, and if Steve sees his lips quirk up, he keeps it to himself.

Steve has his phone on him, and Tony gets him to download Instagram easy enough. In two years, Steve's caught on quickly to 21st-century technology. Giving him a StarkPhone had gone surprisingly well, with the other man taking it from Tony with a gracious smile that had Tony averting his eyes.

Tony finishes up the hot chocolate with a flourish of whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, walking around the island and pressing one of the cups into Steve's hand. Steve's fingers graze his own, sending delightful sparks running through him. Tony tries not to dwell on it.

He sits next to Steve and directs him to the search bar on the app. Their heads are bent close together, and this close, Tony can smell the remnants of his cologne—lemon and pepper and sycamore—until he's dizzy with it.

"What's next?" Steve says, breaking Tony out of his daze.

Tony flushes and takes a sip from his hot chocolate to cover himself—and buy himself time. The chocolate soothes his nerves a bit, and Tony tells him what to type in. Steve's eyes light up at the results, nearly thousands of posts, thousands of works of art that people, young and old alike, poured their hearts into, and Tony wishes he had his phone on him if only to take a picture for himself.

Steve clicks on a post, and his eyes soften. It's of them. Steve is in that awful suit SHIELD had stuck him in that made his head look like an egg, and to be honest, did nothing for his ass. Tony can clearly recognize the Mark VII armor and—they're holding hands. Of all things, they're holding hands. He doesn't know why his cheeks flame up or why he gets the sudden urge to bury his face in his hands. The drawing was done painstakingly in colored pencil, obviously drawn by an older kid, but still good.

"Look at their shading," Steve says, thankfully not addressing the elephant in the room. "Wish I had drawn like that at their age."

"I've seen your work," Tony says, latching onto the topic for what it was—a way out. "You were good."

Steve smiles slightly. Something in his eyes looks wistful. "Thank you," he says.

Tony had always been curious, and Steve being an artist had always fascinated him. How could a man, seemingly destined for combat, have the passionate, creative soul of an artist? "Do you...do you miss it?" He asks.

Steve double taps the photo, giving it a like before he set his phone down. "I do. I sketch here and there when the inspiration strikes, but I haven't had the time to sit down and really pour myself into it like I used to."

"Pour yourself into it?"

"Give it my all," Steve clarifies. "I could devote an entire day to working on a project. Just me, some charcoal, and my canvas."

Tony could understand him. The same way Steve could apparently spend days working on an art piece, Tony would spend the same amount of time in his workshop, bringing an idea to life.

"Every painting, every sculpture, every drawing, is an artist baring their soul for the world to judge for generations to come," Steve says. "And isn't that just the scariest thing you've heard?"

Tony thought of his own inventions. Missiles and guns and bombs. But he also made intellicrops to feed the hungry. The arc reactor sparked a revolution in clean energy technology. JARVIS, the closest Tony would ever come to bringing another life into this world, growing and developing with every day. How would history judge his soul?

"It is scary," Tony admits. "It takes immense bravery, too, which you have in spades."

Steve looks down at his hot chocolate, trying and failing to hide a smile. He takes a sip, humming in approval at the first taste. "Thank you," he says, then chuckles. "You want to know who my biggest fan was?"

"Who?" Tony asks, indulging him.

"My mom. When I was a kid...she'd draw whatever I asked her to and would let me color it in however I wanted, even if it was ridiculous. Took me to art museums when we had the money."

Tony never thought a smile could be sad, but that's the only way to describe the look on Steve's face; a mixture of anguish and fondness and love, so much love he has to look away. He didn't mean to make Steve upset, but it's too late now. He's already opened the floodgates.

"Before she passed, she encouraged me to go to art school," he says. "Guess she hoped that it would keep me out of trouble."

Tony leans into his side. Steve stiffens, and for a moment, Tony thinks he made the wrong move, but then Steve slowly, almost like Tony's going to scamper off, wraps his arm around Tony's waist. His palm is hot against his side. The warmth seeps into his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"I can't picture you as a little troublemaker," Tony says softly.

"Trouble found me," Steve says.

"And you couldn't ignore it."

It wasn't a question, but Steve answers anyway. "No. I couldn't."

It explained a lot about him. Hell, it was one of the things about Steve that made Tony lose his mind and want to kiss him senseless in the same breath.

"She said I was like my father, like that," Steve says. "Always up for a fight."

Tony didn't like the dark tone Steve's voice had taken on. He doesn't know much about Joseph Rogers, but obviously, it wasn't pretty. And given Steve's pre-serum height and the slew of health issues, Tony could put two and two together.

"The sins of the father shouldn't fall upon the son," he says. "Howard wasn't daddy dearest, either."

"You're not him," Steve says immediately. Tony knows it's not an insult.

"And you're not him," Tony replies. He leans his head against Steve's shoulder, sighing when he feels Steve press a kiss to the crown of his head.

Tony picks up Steve's phone. He doesn't ask why Steve was waiting for him, and Steve doesn't ask why he was in his workshop at two in the morning.

They move from the island to Tony's couch, Tony curled into Steve's side, Steve's arm slung around his shoulder. They polish off the rest of their hot chocolate and scroll through the pages of fanart, getting lost in each other's touch and presence. There's something warm and golden in Tony's chest, slowly expanding, and he knows one day it's going to fill him up from head to toe.

Somewhere, wherever they are, Sarah Rogers and Maria Stark are smiling.

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #marvel #mcu #nsfk #my fic #my writing #imperialstark fic #imperialstark writing

44 notes · View notes

winterironspiderling · 4 years

Note

Sorry if you’ve answered something like this before but, do you have any tips of writing slow burn, and just writing in general? Lol thank you and love your work!

No worries! I’m always down to talk about writing. Thank you for your kind words. :)

To write a slow burn, you will want to start with the main pairing as strangers, acquaintances, or even enemies. You could also start them as friends, but if you begin with the two having a close relationship already, it would be hard to draw that out because friends to lovers basically only adds kissing and physical intimacy, but if you start from the very beginning/first meeting you have more time to develop the relationship, which will take more words, and make the burn slower.

No matter what level of relationship you start the pairing at, there has to be a reason why they can’t be together yet because if you start with no obstacle, it will be hard to justify why they aren’t together. Obstacles could be the characters are in other relationships, one or both might have just gotten out of a bad/abusive relationship, they’re in a bad place mentally/physically, and distance or other characters are keeping them apart. This also gives you something to overcome not just in the relationship, but for the individual characters and their journey, and it adds depth to the plot. And the richer the plot, the more you can draw it out and slow down the burn!

To make the slow burn enjoyable instead of annoying or frustrating, try not to make overcoming the relationship obstacles or individual challenges “too easy” for the characters. They should have near misses and setbacks, or it won’t feel satisfying or intriguing when they finally get together, or oppositely, if it’s too hard and drawn out, and there’s one shitty event after the other, it will feel like okay!!! enough already!!! So try to space out good and bad events and keep it balanced. :)

Know when to time skip and when to accept that you just need to write an entire scene. Time skipping can rush character development and make the ending feel unearned, but writing every detail of the characters’ lives can get boring to read. When you need some exposition or world building and not just fun plot or explicit scenes try to use the seemingly mundane interactions to your advantage to further the plot, introduce characters, build character(s), build relationships, foreshadow, or make fun references to canon.

For an example of all of the above points, in my story Disorder, Tony and Peter have their first meeting, and what’s holding them back from being together is Peter’s age and his poor mental health and self-image. He has a lot of good moments and bad moments, and doesn’t just lose weight and gain confidence over night. I take Tony and Peter throughout a working relationship, then a friendship, and then the buildup of an intimate relationship, and when I’m not outlining every personal training session between the two, I’m building their relationships and friendships with other people and giving both of them a chance to interact in other spaces besides the gym. So Peter will be at school with Ned and MJ showing his sense of humour, interacting with Flash, and maybe mentioning the upcoming Decathlon ten chapters later, so that when I bring it up later, it doesn’t come out of nowhere. Then I might skip a week to the next lesson with Tony because if you’re reading a Starker story, obviously you want most of the interactions to be Tony/Peter. :)

Adding in more people than the main pairing makes for a well-rounded story because other characters exist and help make the main pairing who they are. (For Peter, I like Ned, MJ, May, Flash, and Mr. Delmar, and for Tony, I like Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Jarvis, and Nebula. Bucky is just a necessity for every story, also. ;) ) Making the side characters funny or interesting, or inserting running jokes about them will make the parts with those people more enjoyable to read, even if the pairing isn’t featured.

Short chapter length or transitional chapters are necessary, but can be tedious because you don’t want to have an info dump, but you don’t want to go through the pain of writing an entire interaction and scene just for the sake of increasing word count, so accepting that not every chapter is going to be the Best Chapter is important. If you need to get information across about the backstory, or exposition, you can have it expressed through dialogue, or do a little bit of info dumping at a time and try to weave it into other things, so it’s not huge chunks of info that can be boring or confusing.

Add a little bit of your own personality to the writing too. I’m not really a poetic writer, and I prefer to write snappy dialogue and let character dynamics do the work, but some people can talk about the flowering trees and the winding roads of the countryside. I don’t know anything about that lol, so when I try to write it, I feel silly and then the scene suffers because I’m not saying anything I actually care about. So write the style that feels most natural to you and it won’t be boring because you’ll be able to feel your energy in the story, and writers are what bring a lot of the emotion to the fan fiction. Every reader likes something different, so write for your own tastes and the people who like your style will stick around.

There’s a time and place for surprises or complications, but the type that you put into the story should be consistent with the expectations you and the readers have—whether you’ve stated these by your tags or the plot summary. Example, a coffee shop AU doesn’t turn into a sex worker AU, or soft, domestic Tony doesn’t turn into a dark stalker. Those are valid occurrences, but they’re so different that it’s not a fun twist for readers…it’s legitimately not what they signed up for. A surprise in Disorder that works is when you find out Tony’s own personal struggles during his POV with Rhodey. It adds depth to his character and another layer to his dynamic with Peter, but it isn’t shocking or contrary to what I’ve already written.

For most of Disorder, Tony and Peter each don’t think the other would be interested, or if they were, “not right now” or “not because of the age difference” etc... and I kept having them almost connect/admit it, but then I’d hold back. Knowing when and how I wanted them to get together from the very beginning helped with the slow burn as well because I had to think of how to get them from point A to B. I knew I wanted Peter to be at good place mentally, but not perfect, and I wanted May to be more accepting of the relationship, so it became a game of filling in the blanks instead of just starting a story with no end in sight, and then it feels difficult to give it direction.

Creating outlines and templates for a story helps me. Like a table that outlines which characters are featured in a chapter, and any major plot points, and just general info.This way when you go to write future chapters or edit, you don’t have to reread everything, and when it’s all laid out in front of you, it can be easier to be like, “Oh, this just happened in Chapter 1, so I don’t want another crazy event to happen in Chapter 5 because I want the energy of the story to be evenly spaced.”

Edit not just for grammar but for subtle mistakes like repeating a lot of the same phrases and words. I tend to overuse “just” and start a lot of sentences with, “well”, so I have to be careful of that. Also for continuity like if Peter is sitting down in one paragraph, and then you say he sat down in the next paragraph even though he’s already sitting...

Decide how you want your story to be regarding realism, whether it’s in the context of an AU or a canon-compliant story. Maybe you don’t care about being realistic to our universe, and maybe you want to write something completely off the wall. There should be some sort of structure and consistency with the characters so that the reader feels stable and like they can trust where you’re going. Even if you want to write a master/slave AU where Tony keeps Peter on a leash, or something like a body swap, there’s still things that you can do to keep it realistic in the context of that story. Like if Tony was portrayed as a very loyal and possessive master, he’s not going to be sharing Peter with someone later in the story, unless you’ve decided that him getting over that is necessary to the plot, and sufficient character building shows him slowly becoming more open. Or in a body swap, if Peter and Tony switch, they’re not going to immediately go and put each other at risk or use their bodies to betray one another.

So I don’t know what you’re writing, but no matter what, try creating mystery by leaving things unsaid/undiscovered, or raising questions within the plot for readers to find out later. You don’t have to give up everything right away! (I know it’s hard not to spill the beans, but it lets people figure things out on their own or wonder if you’ll mention it again.) (Make sure you remember if you’re doing this so you don’t accidentally create a plot hole.) An example of this in Disorder is raising the topic of will Peter go to college, or not. Eventually he decides. Another is why Tony doesn’t like to give cards in his gifts, and then eventually he gives one to Peter, and it makes it really special. <3

I hope this helps!

#ask #writing advice #disorder

33 notes · View notes

natasha-romanoff-deserved-better · 4 years

Text

Children of Yesterday- Chapter Five

Summary:

Standing in front of him, are two more children, only slightly older than the one he had found. The blonde child was freakishly skinny with dark bags under his eyes, and was standing with another black-haired slightly taller child who had a bony arm wrapped around him.

The blonde was wearing an over-sized Captain America costume that drowned him, and the other only wearing a leather jacket with sleeves that covered his hands and fell to his knees.

Tony almost chokes.

The blonde in the Captain America costume. The black-haired child standing over him. The scared, timid kid on his hip with glasses and bruises.

He knows who these kids are.

After an accident with Hydra and the time stone, Tony and Rhodey are left with six of their teammates turned into young children. Trying to keep the six young, traumatized and rambunctious children safe all while finding a cure and attempting to give them a taste of a real childhood might be their biggest mission yet.

Continue reading below or click here to read on AO3!

The car ride goes as well as any of them expected, with the six kids arguing over who got to sit where; who got the window seats, who got to choose what radio station they listened too, how hot or cold the car should be, and even who had the “best” seatbelt, whatever the hell that meant. Thankfully, they reached the tower within fifteen minutes, and the sight of it stunned all six into total silence.

“Whoa,” Clint breathes out, after several seconds of awe. “Coolest foster home ever!”

Tony doesn’t bother to correct him.

Tony and Pepper leave the car out front, Friday taking over control to direct it into the garage. Rhodey meets them inside, having flown his suit back.

“I confiscated all the weapons in the common areas. Or…. All the weapons I could find. You never know with…” He stops himself from saying Clint and Natasha’s names, realizing how much confusion it would create. “With those two.”

“Rhodey, you are an absolutely savior.” Tony praises.

“I’ll go find everyone some pajamas from their rooms,” Pepper tells, frowning at the hospital clothing the kids were still wearing. “At least some old T-shirts would be better to sleep in, I’m sure.”

Tony stares at the kids. They stare back.

“Who’s tired?” They say nothing. “Right…well. You’re all going to sleep anyways. Because I know none of you got much before you Houdini-ed your way out of SHIELD.”

It had already been decided, wordlessly, that none of them would be spending the nights in their original adult rooms. The main worry had been Clint and Natasha and the sheer number of weapons they had hidden all over their quarters, but it would also be much easier to keep an eye on all of them if they were all on the same floor.

The tower had a floor consisting all of guest rooms- It had been a joke at first, mainly from his wild playboy days. Now, it was used for guests staying overnight, be it for parties, galas, or several day long conferences. It was usually the safest option for many, eliminating the need for hotels and allowing the meetings to take place with much more secrecy. Tony loaded them all into elevator and brought to them to the guest room floor.

Whether they were willing to admit it or not, it was obvious they were all tired. For one, Bruce couldn’t stop yawning every other minute or so, which would set off a chain reaction through all the kids. Sam and Clint were both rubbing their eyes, Steve and Bucky looked like they were about to drop dead. Even Natasha was showing signs of tiredness, her eyes drooping closed for split second before jerking back up.

Pepper meets them on the floor, holding old shirts that she passes out to each respective owner. After everyone has their shirts, Tony randomly assigns each their own room. Steve and Bucky completely ignore him and enter the same room.

After everyone is all settled into their rooms, Tony is headed towards the end of the hallway to the suite room when Natasha pokes her head out her door.

“You forgot about me.”

“What?” Tony’s brows furrow, trying to think what she could possibly mean. She simply holds out her wrist to him, an expectant look on her face. “Sorry, kiddo, but you’re gunna have to help me out here a bit more. What’s wrong?”

Natasha drops her arm in annoyance at his ignorance. “Handcuff?”

“Oh. No, Nat, god. No, no handcuffs.” Tony crouches to her level, hoping to get his point across. “You’re free to move around as you wish here. Got that?”

If the look on her face is anything to go off of, Natasha does not got it. Her nose is scrunched up and forehead creased slightly in confusion, but she still nods.

“Alright, good. I’m just going to be down in that room over there, so you can call me if you need anything at all, yeah?”

Natasha nods again, whispers a quiet “thank you, sir” and steps back into her room, leaving Tony dumbfounded in the hallway.

---------------

Tony closes the door, leaning his back against it. “Oh, god.” His hands come up to rub at his face.

From her side on their bed, Pepper lowers her book and raises an eyebrow at him.

“What the hell did I do, Pepper? What the fuck was I thinking?”

“You were thinking about their best interests—”

“Best interests,” He scoffs. “I’m me, Pep. I can’t take care of six kids! Hell, I can’t even take care of myself!” He runs his hands through his hair, grabbing tufts and pulling slighting. “Oh, god.”

“Tony- just breathe for a minute,”

“Fucking hell. What if something happens to them? It will be all my fault. What if they run away from me as well? Or if I crash the car while driving them somewhere? What if,- I don’t give them enough food and they starve and.. Oh god, I don’t even know if any of them have any food allergies or not? There’s no way Steve isn’t allergic to something. And these kids are way too smart for their age. You should have seen them on those tapes. Jesus Christ, I’m going to get them killed. There’s no doubt about it.”

“Tony.” Pepper demands. He looks up at her, panic written all over his face. She pulls back the silk sheets covering her and opens an arm in invitation. “Come here.”

Tony scrambles over to her, climbing up onto the bed and then her, resting his head on her chest. She pulls the covers back up over them, hugs him close. “I can’t do this, Pepper. I don’t know how to take care or interact with kids. Especially not kids with their backgrounds…. I don’t want to ruin them even more. That’s what I do. I ruin people.”

The last sentence, she knows, is a reference to his weapon making past, but also to Peter. She chooses to ignore it- they don’t need to go down that rabbit hole tonight- and keeps the focus on the team.

“The kids are going to be fine. They’re tough. And if god forbid anything does happen, we’ll get through it. The same as we do everything else. You have me. And Rhodey… And Happy, if Peter hasn’t given him one too many heart attacks yet.”

Tony snorts out a laugh at the mention of Happy and nuzzles deeper into his partner.

---------------

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea, Tony,” Pepper says, eyeing the children who are sitting at the table, happily munching on their breakfast of pancakes. It’s a stark difference from one hour prior, when Steve and Bucky had woken everyone up with their screaming after FRIDAY had said something to them.

(In retrospect, he probably should have mentioned the ceiling will talk back to you last night, but oh well.)

“We can just order clothes and whatever we need from online.”

She’s right- they could. It would be the easiest thing to do.

But Tony remembers his clothes as a kid. Always too itchy or rough or too soft, never the fun colors or designs like the other kids got to wear, never what he actually wanted. There had never been anyone around who could be bothered enough to take him to a store, to wait while he picked out his own things.

“I’m taking them.”

Pepper sighs. “Well just know you two are on your own.” She checks the time on her watch, a habit. “I have all kinds of things I need to settle, since it seems as if you’re going to be out of commission for a while.”

He knew she was right, even though he was tempted to beg her to come with. He and Rhodey only knew so much about kids, but she had seemed to have some kind of natural maternal instinct with them. He would be willing to bet his whole company that she would have no problem controlling the kids. But there were meetings, galas, conferences, so many things in his schedule that Pepper now that to cancel or reschedule or do herself.

---------------------

The kids pour out of the cars as Tony stands aimlessly, staring at the building of the mall.

“Which stores even have kids clothing? I don’t know any of these names.”

Rhodey has beaten him to it, again, pulling out a google list on his phone. “Let’s start with… uh, that place.” He points some doors to his left, double checking the name of the store. “I don’t know. It’s a kid store and has five stars, so...”

“Good enough for me.”

They herd the kids the best they can towards the store, not wanting to lose anyone before the first ten minutes. Tony was about to just open the doors and turn the kids buck wild, but Rhodey stopped them all before entering.

“Okay, guys. Here’s the rules. You be nice to the employees, and don’t be disruptive. That means no screaming, yelling, fighting. None of that. And no leaving the store. You can go off by yourself within the store but don’t go out. Got it?” They all nod.

Tony adds on. “Yeah, what he said. But other then that just grab whatever you like and that fits. Price doesn’t matter, yeah?”

The kids run off in all different directions, each going towards whichever section caught their eye the most. He gives some time to run around by themselves, before going to check on them.

Bruce has stuck to mostly neutral colors, gray and brown sweaters hanging off his arms with the same pair of jeans hanging over his arm. Sam has gone ambitious, picking out shirts with the most obnoxious patterns and designs Tony has seen.

Steve and Bucky have each picked out a few things, but glancing at them, Tony can tell the clothes the two boys are holding are not their correct size.

“Those are way too big, you two. Do you know how to check sizes?”

“No, we know how.” Steve tells him, going red slightly. “It’s just that…it’s good to get bigger clothes. So you have room to grow.”

Realization dawns on Tony as he recalls this is most likely a symptom of being depression era kids.

“Steve, Bucky. Get your correct size. I promise I have more than enough money to buy more clothes the second either of you two grow an inch, okay?”

“How do you have so much money?” Bucky asks, but Steve shoves at his arm.

“Don’t be rude, Buck!”

“It’s not rude, I’m just asking!”

“Guys, it’s okay. Just trust me on this. Money won’t ever be an issue while you’re with me, alright? I want you to have things that fit you.” Deciding quickly to make it less about them and more himself, he adds, “It would really make me feel a lot better if you did that.”

That does it for them, and the pair returns the wrong sizing before moving to a completely different section to find the correct ones.

Checking in on Clint, he finds Natasha trailing after him several feet away, her arms empty. Tony frowns.

“Not finding anything you like, Nat?”

She shrugs.

“Well. Why don’t you let me know what you like, and I can help you look?” She shrugs again. Wrapping her arms around her torso, she whispers something, too quiet for Tony to hear. “What?”

“I don’t know what I like. We do not choose clothes in Russia.”

“Oh. Right.” Of course she was confused. She had most likely never been given a choice of clothes before in her life. He racks his brain to try and think of what she might like. Black. Black was a safe option. He glances around himself for a few seconds before finding a plain black tank top and pulling it off the hanger. “What about this? It’s soft- here, feel it.”

Natasha tentatively reaches out a hand to run a small finger over the fabric, lips quirking up slightly at the smooth texture. Tony figures that’s the best he’s going to get from her and places the top into her hands.

He helps her pick out several other things. He tries other colors, but she seems to actively hate almost everything else. At one point, he pulls out a purple shirt, and she doesn’t sneer at the color like she has all the others, so he counts it as good enough and begins loading her up with purple things as well.

To the side, he can hear Rhodey speaking with Clint, suggesting Clint get some shirts other than graphic tees, and Clint’s flabbergasted “why would I do that?”

Once all the kids have each gathered a decent number of tops and bottoms, Tony and Rhodey gather them all up to pay for all the new clothing. Sam and Clint are both bouncing on the heels of their feet, trying and failing to contain their excitement at getting so many new clothes. Rhodey has the brilliant thought to distract Steve and Bucky when the cashier tells him the price for all the items, as to avoid a freak out from the two.

One store down, Tony and Rhodes steer the group into another child clothing store, hoping to load up on as much as possible in one trip. Tony prayed they were just being overly cautious, and his teammates would be back to normal before they had a chance to wear all their new outfits.

It’s going well, Tony assures himself- Steve and Bucky have gotten more confident after the first store and have amassed a good amount of clothes between the two of them, Bruce has decided to go a little more adventurous this time and pick a green long sleeved. Natasha only has one thing, but she picked it out all on her own. Sam and Clint are-

Not there.

Tony whips around, eyes scanning the store frantically for the two boys. He had just seen them, not even five minutes ago. They’re not on the floor. Not in the dressing rooms.

“Rhodey!” Tony calls loudly, ignoring the ugly look sent at him from a middle-aged woman. “Have you seen Clint and Sam? Please tell me you’ve seen them.”

Rhodey copies the same move Tony had done just seconds earlier, twists around to sweep the store, as if Tony just hadn’t looked hard enough.

“I knew I’d lose them eventually. Fuck.”

His glasses-FRIDAY- sensing his stress levels, points him to the east, signaling to him she had picked up the two’s heat signatures in that direction. Tony and Rhodey take off, the other four kids following closely at their heels.

FRIDAY directs them, and they end up in the Disney store, surrounded by bright lights and colors and children’s music blasting from the ceiling speakers. “Sam! Clint!” He calls out loudly, ignoring the stink eye he gets from a mother holding a snotty nosed sleeping baby in her arms. The two boys pop out from between some aisles, each holding several toys in their arms.

“Tony! Look what we found! Look how cool!” Sam runs up to show him the toys they had found. Clint hangs back slightly, eyeing Tony for a second before dejectedly placing the toys onto a rack near him. Tony watches this, feels a slight tug on his heart strings.

“Clint,” Clint’s eye shot back up to his, a trace of guilt in his face. “Pick them back up. You’re not in trouble.” Tony turns to the other four, who Rhodey is standing behind. “Why don’t you all go pick out some toys or stuffed animals you like, yeah?”

Steve and Bucky link hands and hurry over to the aisle with the dress up solider uniforms, while Natasha hesitates but makes her way over near Clint, who points out a Simba lion stuffie to her. She rolls the fluffy ears between her fingers, before smiling slightly and pulling it into her arms.

By the time they’re all finished, the pile of stuffed animals and toys on the cash register is absurd, but the beaming faces of his teammates make it worth it. Over the pile, the girl working the register flicks her eyes between Tony and Rhodey and the kids.

“They’re adorable,” she says, smiling at them. “Must be quite the handful with so many. Are they all yours?”

Tony snorts. “You’re telling me. And, uh, yeah. Mostly. Something like that,” He says, not quite sure exactly how to answer.

She nods, looking between the two adults again and smile growing bigger. “Well, I think it’s wonderful. I can’t believe there are some groups out there that would try and stop you two from adopting,”

“Hm?” Tony says, reaching into his wallet to pull out his black card, only half heartedly listening. “Oh yeah, for sure. We- wait, what?”

“Oh, I’m just saying, clearly you two are very loving dads.”

“Oh! Um,” Tony splutters, completely caught off guard. This is not what he was expecting to have to deal with today. Natasha trying to stab someone, sure. Steve somehow ending up in a hospital from a freak medical illness, fine. Clint climbing up a clothing rack, whatever. But not being mistaken for a gay couple with six children with his best friend.

Next to him, Rhodey is laughing. The bastard. Rhodey throws an arm around Tony’s shoulders and pulls him in, playing it up, and plants a sloppy kiss onto his cheek.

Thankfully, before Rhodey could pull anything else, the cashier scans the last stuffed animal and lets him know the final price. Tony happily pays it and hurries the kids out of the store, bags upon bags of new clothes and toys.

#children of yesterday #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #marvel fanfiction #clint barton #natasha romanoff #Steve Rogers #tony stark #bruce banner #sam wilson #james rhodes #Bucky Barnes #kid fic #marvel kid fic #look i actually wrote something

8 notes · View notes

give-me-back-my-rhodey · 4 years

Text

Soulmates - AUgust Day 3

Title: Soulmates

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: n/a

Relationship: Tony Stark/Sam Wilson

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: What are soulmates? Soulmates are two (or more) people who join to make a whole. Sam Wilson knows he has one, but he’s unsure if his soulmate is going to want to meet him. Written across his tricep are the words So, you’re Steve’s right hand man? Sam isn’t quite sure, but he senses suspicion in these words.

It’s funny how many Steves you meet in a lifetime. Steve his professor, Steve the nudist who staged protests on the quad, Steve his CO for three years, but the Steve he never expected to meet was Steve the Avenger.

Imagine his surprise when he found his soulmate...

++++++++++++

What are soulmates? Soulmates are two (or more) people who join to make a whole. Sam Wilson knows he has one, but he’s unsure if his soulmate is going to want to meet him. Written across his tricep are the words So, you’re Steve’s right hand man? Sam isn’t quite sure, but he senses suspicion in these words.

They popped up when he turned fifteen. The only Steve he knew was the school bully, and he really hoped he didn’t meet his soulmate in high school. After graduating high school and college, he joined the Air Force. The first and only person to whom he showed his soulmate words was Riley, his wingman in battle. He understood Sam asexuality more than anyone else Sam knew. When Sam lamented that even if he found his soulmate, they might not want him because he disliked sex, Riley told him that his soulmate would accept him; that’s what soulmates are for. If they didn’t, Riley surmised, they would only be hurting themselves and also not worth Sam’s time. Sam appreciates Riley’s aggressive love for him, but he still wonders how it would feel to have your soulmate reject you. He knows that plenty of people never find their soulmate, and some of them don’t even look for them, but he wants to find his.

Sam met Steve Rogers by chance when the super soldier trolled him while running around the reflection pool. He must have made a good impression because Cap came to visit him at the VA and then came to him for help to take down HYDRA. When Steve found out that the guy that he was fighting was his old World War II buddy, Sam didn’t even want to think about if it had been him and Riley. Naturally, he stepped up and helped in whatever way he could. Punching Nazis was actually a stress reliever.

Now Steve is bringing him in to meet the team, which consists now of Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Thor, Bruce Banner, and Tony Stark. When Steve calls ahead, Tony tells him that Sam is always welcome at the Tower and there is a floor with his name on it. It’s been a while since Sam has had a vacation; thus, he agrees to stay for a week or two. He meets everyone but Thor, who is off-world, and Tony within the first couple of days. He even meets Colonel Rhodes, and he’ll admit, he freaked out a little. Rhodes has been his hero for a while now. Everyone is nice enough, and he quickly falls into a comfortable camaraderie with the Tower occupants.

One morning Sam is taking care of his breakfast dishes when who should walk in but a well-dressed Tony Stark. “Good morning everyone!” He greets the kitchen.

“Board meeting?” Clint asks.

Tony scoffs. “I can wear suits for other reasons than board meetings.”

“But?” Romanoff smirks.

“Yeah, yeah, Pep’s making me go.” Tony concedes. He spins unexpectedly and sees Sam. “So, you’re Steve’s right-hand man?”

Sam can feel the words on his arm tingle, and he stares dumbly at Tony Stark. Playboy, sex god, Tony Stark. He thinks. Oh shit. This isn’t going to end well for me, is it? “No, no, I can’t deal with this right now,” He says and practically runs out of the kitchen.

+++++++

“No, no I can’t deal with this right now.” Wilson says, and Tony’s heart drops as he feels the words wrapped around his ankle tickle his skin.

When the words had appeared sometime in his fifteenth year alive, he had been lying across the couch with his feet on Rhodey’s chest. Seventeen-year-old Rhodey claims he saw the words being scrawled around his ankle. Tony excitedly asked him what the words said, but he lost his enthusiasm for soulmates once Rhodey said the words “No, no I can’t deal with this right now” in a very regretful tone.

When Rhodey saw Tony close off, he tries to reassure him. “Hey Tones, you don’t know what’s happening here. What if they have like fifty dogs that they have to take care of at that time? What if they say it first because you’re about to rant to them, and they have to leave in like five minutes? It doesn’t mean it’s bad. It could just be a time thing.”

“Yea, sure whatever. It doesn’t matter. Soulmates are stupid anyways,” Tony mutters, but he clings to that hope that it’s a timing thing. Even when Howard finds out what his words are and laughs at him, telling him he’s so messed up and worthless that even his soulmate won’t want him. Even when he’s sitting in a cave, ashamed that he never cared enough about his company to prevent anyone from double-dealing. Even when he wakes up in the middle of the night, riddled with nightmares. Even when Pepper breaks up with him, telling him they just won’t work and that she found her soulmate. (He agrees with that one – she deserves someone much better than him).

Tony has clung to that hope for so long that it takes a lot of will-power to hide his devastation. As Wilson runs out, he shrugs and says, “Okayyyy… not sure what that was about.” He heads straight to the elevator and puts on his sunglasses even though the only thing he really wants to do is break down and cry. Howard was right, once again. Even his soulmate doesn’t want him.

He focuses on the numbers the whole drive to SI headquarters. He needs something to distract him. Tony also pays attention throughout the meeting, no matter how boring and tedious the topics. Pepper shoots him a few surprised looks but doesn’t question him. He stays after the meeting to chat with a few board members until he knows he just needs to talk with Pepper. She knows him the best other than Rhodey, and Tony just can’t be at the Tower right now.

Walking into her office, he stops when he realizes she is eating lunch with her soulmate. They both look up as he enters, and he raises his hands. “Hey sorry. I’ll just… go.”

“Tony, wait.” Pepper must have seen something in Tony’s body language because she calls after him.

He turns back to hear Gen, Pepper’s soulmate, ask, “Seriously?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I forgot what time it was. I don’t want to interrupt.”

“I was just going to say that if you wanted to stick around HQ for another twenty minutes or so, I’ll be available.” Pepper gestures to him.

“Right. Ok. I will, thanks.”

Tony wanders down to the R&D department. Wandering through and talking to the workers, he is able to get his mind off of the whole “soulmate” thing. He has a genius plan. He’ll just work in his lab until the pain goes away!

A half hour later, Tony finds his way back to Pepper’s office. Sitting across the desk from her, he says conversationally, “So, I met my soulmate today.”

“And why are you saying it like it’s a bad thing?” Pepper steeples her fingers.

“You know my words, Pep!” Tony cries. “He said the words and booked it. How is that ever a good thing?”

“Well, did he have somewhere to be?”

“No, he was washing dishes and talking with the team. He wasn’t in any hurry until after he talked to me.”

Reaching out and squeezing Tony’s hand, Pepper says, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“I just want to hide away from the Tower for a while. Can I stay in here?”

“Sure, but you have to do this paperwork.” She hands him a stack.

Pepper seems surprised when Tony gladly takes it. “I’ll make sure I read every word before I sign.” He gives her a lopsided smile.

Tony works in Pepper’s office until she is ready to leave at 7. “I’m sorry, Tony, but we have to go. I’m supposed to meet Gen soon. Good luck.” She gives him a hug.

“Thanks Pep. Don’t make me cry,” Tony says wetly. “I shouldn’t cry. It’s stupid.”

“You’re allowed to cry, Tony. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.”

Tony just shakes his head, wipes his eyes, puts on his shades, relaxes his body, and walks out with Pepper, seemingly unaffected. Walking her to her car, he helps her in and tells Happy. “Take her home Happy. See you later.”

As soon as he gets home, Tony goes straight to his lab. “Blackout mode except for Rhodey and Pepper. Steve can enter on Avengers emergencies only.” He tells JARVIS.

He opens up a saved project and begins working. It’s four am before he crashes on the couch to sleep until nightmares take that away from him. Tony wakes up at 7am, grabs some coffee, and keeps working. Rhodey comes down a little later with a plate of bacon and eggs.

“Hey Tones. Why is JARVIS telling me that you’ve been hiding out down here all night?”

“I was busy. I slept a little.” Tony comments absent-mindedly.

Rhodey sits down where Tony can see him. “Is this about Wilson?”

“Why…” Tony’s voice cracks. He clears his throat and starts again. “Why did you have to bring it up? Why can’t we just leave it and never deal with it?”

“Because it will fester until it kills you. Either you can talk to me, or you can call up your therapist, I don’t care. But you need to talk about it, Tones.”

“Why? Why do I need to reiterate the fact that I’m so worthless and messed up that not even my soulmate wants me?” Tony shouts. “The one person in the world who is supposed to love me unconditionally can’t even spend a few minutes with me without running away! Is that what you want me to say, Rhodey, is it?” His breathing is getting ragged, and hot tears fill his eyes.

Rhodey wraps him up in a hug. “You’re not worthless. If he doesn’t love you, that’s his problem. To be honest, I was very shocked at that reaction. He seemed like a nice guy.”

“You’re allowed to like him, too.” Tony tells him miserably. “You can have friends who don’t like me.”

“If someone won’t give their soulmate the time of day, they aren’t that great in my book.” Rhodey pats Tony’s back as they are still embracing. “Listen, take the time you need in here, but don’t wear yourself out. There are people who love you, Tony, remember that. Also, eat your breakfast. I have training but I’ll be back.”

Tony sits down to eat his breakfast and waves goodbye to Rhodey. He loves his Platypus – he’s the real deal. He can count on Rhodey to never leave. He starts up his work again in much better spirits.

++++++ Sam has not been doing good. He’s still reeling from the fact that Tony Stark is his soulmate. His. Soulmate. How… what… he can’t even form a coherent thought. He feels like an ass, running away like he did. Tony probably thinks he rejected him.

Once I get my head wrapped around it, I’ll talk to him. Sam thinks. Geez, I really need to wrap my head around it.

“Hey Sam, you ok?” Steve knocks on his door.

Sam jumps off his bed and walks to the door. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just needed some time.”

“Why? Is everything ok with you and Tony? What happened?”

“We’re, ah, soulmates.” Sam puts his hands in his pockets.

Steve lights up like a gigawatt bulb. “That’s amazing!”

“Yeah, except when I found out, I ran out of the kitchen. And I don’t think the words I said were great either. Shit I need to go talk to him. Hey, JARVIS, can you tell me where Tony is?” Sam looks up at the ceiling.

“I am afraid I cannot tell you where he is, but I would like to say Sir is usually in one of four spots.” JARVIS replies.

“He’s probably in his lab. Floor 53.” Steve tells him. “I’ll let you go.”

Sam races to the elevator and asks JARVIS to take him to floor 53. He requests access to the lab, and JARVIS tells him he cannot let him in. “Can you pass a message to Tony?” JARVIS says he can. “Thank you, JARVIS. Hey, Tony, I’m sorry for running out of the kitchen yesterday. I definitely did not react the right way, and I am truly sorry for that. Do you think we could talk at some point? I have some personal stuff I’d like to share, and then you can decide if you want to be with me or not. I know it could be a deal breaker.” Sam waits for JARVIS’s reply. Instead the lab doors open, and Tony is standing at a worktable, waiting for him to come in.

“What do you want to say?” He asks rather shortly.

“So, I… I’m asexual. I won’t have sex with anyone because I don’t like it. I like holding hands and cuddling and even kissing, but I don’t like sex.” Sam sees Tony open his mouth to say something, and he holds up his index finger. “Just hear me out, ok? I know I handled it terribly but imagine being afraid your soulmate will reject you because you won’t have sex with them. And then I find that my soulmate is an ex-playboy who is like a sex god. It caught me by surprise and then I just panicked. I’m sorry.” When Tony looks at him pointedly to see if he has anything further to say, Sam gestures to him. “Your turn.”

“So, my words are ‘no, no, I can’t deal with this right now.’” Tony wiggles his fingers as quotes. “My whole life I was afraid that my soulmate would take one look at me and just bail, which you kind of did. But now that we’ve both explained why we reacted the way we did, can we just start over? Hi, I’m Tony, I’m your soulmate. I don’t care that you’re asexual. I mainly had so much sex with people because that was the only intimacy I knew for a long time. Well, except for Rhodey. Sorry, I’m rambling.” He stops and takes a deep breath. “Your turn.”

“Hi, Tony. I’m Sam, your soulmate. I don’t know you all that well, but I would like to. Is that acceptable to you?”

Tony nods. “Definitely acceptable. Can I ask you one question? I don’t know how insensitive it will sound. Do you have, like, set boundaries for PDA? I just don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Well, it never hurts to ask if you can touch me. I do like to cuddle up on a couch or in bed. I love hugs. Kisses are acceptable unless you like to lick the inside of my throat. Holding hands is great. Simple touches are fine, too. As long as it’s not sexual, I’m probably ok with it. I will let you know if I’m uncomfortable.”

“Sounds good. Would you like to get dinner tonight, soulmate?”

Sam grins. “I would love to, soulmate.”

#ironfalcon #sam wilson x tony stark #soulmate au #i write!#au_gust_2020

7 notes · View notes

multifandomforthemostpart · 5 years

Text

Ironstrange - Alone

Tony had never cried alone before, and he didn't like it.

—-

There had always been someone there for Tony, someone to pat his back, hold his hands and wipe away his tears. To whisper soft words of comfort, that his world would not be dark forever, sweet nothings and lies that slipped through his broken mind so fast he didn't notice. Who it had been had varied on the time and place. The main four on rotation were Pepper, Bruce, Rhodey and Peter

Yet here he was, slumped against a wall in his basement, sobbing his eyes out. Dum-E had respectfully turned away after he had shouted at him, and FRIDAY was hovering. Tony had come cascading down with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, almost smashing it against the glass. He wasn't drunk, just tipsy, but the consumption was enough to tip him into a bucket full of sadness.

But they weren't here, his four horsemen, to keep him from diving into the darkness of his mind. Pepper was on a business trip in Cali and Rhodes was in Africa doing some volunteer work with the military. Bruce was off world, hopefully with Thor somewhere, and Peter had been whisked away with Aunt May on a brief two week holiday to Australia, where they had promised each other they would have FUN and there would be no spidermanning around Sydney. Tony had packed a suit for him, though, a nanotech unit hidden in his watch, which he had been reassured by Happy that he wore consistently and was taking with him.

"Where are you?" He asked nobody. He wasn't even directing the question at anybody, because he knew where everyone was. He knew that they weren't here, and he was. He knew that he needed mending, but this time he was going to have to mend himself.

Last time he'd been trusted to mend himself, he'd ended up hurting himself more, with a particularly sharp blade in the bathroom that he could create interesting patterns with.

He let out a sob and then covered his mouth immediately.

"Sir, would you like me to contact Miss-" FRIDAY, the ever caring AI, was quick to jump onto Tony's emotions, but he wasn't up for it.

"No, no, Pepper's busy. So's Bruce, Peter and Rhodey. Don't ruin their....their time off," Tony blinked. God. When was the last time he'd had time off? Gotten away from this house, New York. For a break away. It must have been years.

Time off. It was an apt description. Pepper was working - so it wasn't 'time off' per se, but it was time off from looking after Tony and his quirks. Most people's quirks are weird habits, but Tony's are horrifying nightmares and frequent mental breakdowns due to constant panic attacks.

"Should I call 'Capsicle', then?" FRIDAY asked, and Tony's heart lurched.

"NO! No, no please. Don't call him." Tony had had trouble getting over his thing for Captain America, but him stabbing him in the chest with a shield and running off with his childhood boyfriend really drilled the nail into his head. Steve did not want him. Obviously, though, they weren't talking. It was just too awkward. Steve wasn't the kind of person to be comforting anyone with tears, yet alone Tony.

"Miss Romanoff?"

"No," Tony winced as his voice cracked. Crying to Nat, with her blatant spy face. Not a fan.

"Happy?"

"With Peter." Not that the kid knew that....

"Mr Barton?"

"No!"

FRIDAY continued to list people who she thought could be a comfort, until it was just getting ridiculous. She must be pulling random names off the Internet.

"Beyoncé?" was her latest, and Tony let out a laugh.

"Ha!" He wheezed, taking a swig of the whiskey. "Sure she'd love to help me! Anymore?"

"Of course, Sir. I think...Dumbledore."

See, the pensiveness in the AI before suggesting the name should have let him twig what was about to occur, but Tony was still obliviously tipsy and not fully aware of his AI's capabilities. She was playing an intricate game here, and it was working.

"Yes! Yes, call Dumbledore. I think he could give me some solid advice about who to kiss next. Although that childhood crush of his....messy one," Tony rambled to himself. He'd been reading a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction out of pure boredom. Peter had 'accidentally' left the movies here for him to watch, inside was a detailed list of things for him to read, titled 'Mr Stark's list of guilty pleasure reading late at night'.

"Calling Dumbledore," FRIDAY announced, and the phone noise sounded.

"Hilarious," Tony chuckled, but it kept ringing. "FRIDAY? FRIDAY Dumbledore isn't real you can't-" A flash of memory went through Tony's mind, a sudden cold, sobering effect that made him go suddenly very very panicked. "SHIT! FRIDAY! CANCEL! SHIT! CANCEL!"

But a low, sleepy voice came from over the phone. "Hello?" It seemed very unenthusiastically confused. "Stark?"

Shit. Tony had never heard Stephen's Strange's voice when it was sleepy, and he really, really liked it. This is not the time, Tony! You're getting an early onset of an attack, not fantasising over another Avenger!

"Hi," he replied sheepishly, trying desperately to mask the anxiety. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you wrong number, would you?"

"No," Stephen said smoothly, shuffling around as though he was sitting up.

"Well see, I was trying to call Dumbledore," Tony began. Okay he can't do this, he can't mask it, he's going to have to either have a panic attack over the phone or hang up really rudely. Fuck.

"How drunk are you?" Stephen asked.

"I'm not...that drunk," Tony's voice was getting slightly laboured now from breathing so oddly.

"Are you okay?" The doctor seemed genuinely concerned as to his wellbeing. "You sound like you...just did a run or something."

"No, I'm just," Tony gasped. Shit his breath was vanishing and he didn't even know WHY.

"Just?" Stephen prompted. "Stark?"

"I'll," Tony breathed, "'ave to call you back."

And he hung up the phone.

Tears spilling immediately, a bad combination, he failed to regulate his breathing. The four would often try to do it by counting with him, a technique which apparently only worked when he had others with him.

He was trying to ignore the fact that Stephen Strange was an actual Doctor and any Doctor knew basic panic attack symptoms.

Come on, Tony. Come on! One little phone call and all this harm? Can't you tell your body that this time it needs to just fix itself?!"

And then, not even a minute later, there was a warm hand on his shaking body, a comforting low tone murmuring to him. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Sorcerer Supreme, Former Neurosurgeon, also one of his slightly animosity-filled relationships.

But fuck this wasn't he'd wanted the evening to go down, not at all. There was another bottle of whiskey in the alcohol fridge that he had been planning on consuming, not having to explain himself to a doctor.

"Tony," he muttered gently, and Tony jumped slightly. Hearing the wizard call him by his first name was a privilege that Tony never really got. The doctor began rubbing a hand back and forth on his shoulder as Tony's sobs wracked his body. He didn't even know why he was crying at this point, but he turned to the Sorcerer and buried his head into the man's pyjamas: he hadn't even given himself time to change out of them, which allowed for a rather hot (although blurry, from tears) bed-head look. The hair was stuck up on its ends and Tony relished in the warmth that Strange offered, snuggling in.

"Let's get you to bed," Stephen commanded, picking him up bridal style and looking at him....it wasn't a hateful look, nor exasperated, it was...tender.

FRIDAY and Tony directed Stephen to the right room and he was plonked on the bed, Stephen standing awkwardly next to it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"The panic attacks? Um...maybe. Can you...lay here with me for the night?"

"Sure," Stephen smiled softly, clambering onto the poster bed and looking at him intently.

"I don't know why I had that one. I'm not scared of you, so maybe it was the thought of upsetting someone this late at night or, or losing you as a friend or maybe just being alone...I don't really know," Tony wasn't slurring his words, but they weren't 100% clear.

"Were you drinking tonight?" Stephen queried, a slight reprimanding mask worn on that worried face.

"Whiskey. I had....about 3/4 of a bottle. It's good stuff, of course."

"And...uh, how long has it been since you've slept?"

Tony grinned, "1."

"1 what? Hour? Day?" Yes, he supposed that would be the normal assumption.

"Month," the doctor's eyes shot up suddenly and he seemed intent on getting Tony to sleep ASAP.

"Don't make me," he warned, holding up a finger very close to the other man's face. "Please," he pouted.

"Nightmares?" Stephen persisted.

"Yup. Bane of my existence, I swear to God."

Tony found himself staring into the wizard's eyes, getting more and more enticed.

If Stephen was Dumbledore....did that make him Grindelwald? If so, did that mean he was the villain, the mass murderer? Fair, he supposed, he had done some pretty bad things. But then again, leaving a child in a neglected home wasn't something he'd done.

What was most exciting was that Stephen was staring back, into those whiskey eyes as though he was reading his soul. He probably was.

They began to gravitate closer together and Tony's cheeks flushed the further he went. Biting the bullet, he decided to just bloody kiss the man.

"Anthony," Stephen whispered when they had separated, in a voice that made him want to capture those pink lips again. Fuck. Stephen.

Wait. Didn't Stephen...have a girlfriend? Was he therefore cheating on her with him?

"Shit- Strange. Christine, your girlfriend. I-I'm sorry, that was a mistake, I apologise. I won't mention it to anyone I'm sorry." Tony panicked.

"Seriously?" Stephen looked at him pointedly. "It's like you've never interacted with me enough."

Well certainly not like this, Tony reflected as Stephen aimed for another kiss. But he wasn't sure he wanted to kiss him if he was keen of the whole thing of adultery...Tony was never a cheater, just a playboy. But if the Doc wanted to settle down...

"Stephen...I-" Tony murmured, pulling away. "I don't feel comfortable doing this with you having a girlfriend."

"Anthony Stark, I'm gay, and single, and have been for several lonely years. That kiss you saw with Christine was her one attempt at her trying to see if I loved her, which I do, but platonically. Please, for the love of God, just kiss me."

And so, they did, not declaring many feelings, just declarations that the other was so hot.

Oh and Tony did whine when Stephen pulled away, taking this circumstance to pull out all the stops, including the pouty face, but all he got was cuddles as Stephen stroked his hair to get him to sleep.

He slept, but it was plagued with tantalisingly dangerous dreams, nightmares he woke up panting from and multiple tosses and turns.

But Stephen stayed.

And maybe, just maybe, Tony thought, maybe he wouldn't be alone anymore.

#ironman #drstrange #ironstrange #supremefamily #avengers endgame #marvel #alone #stephenstrange #tonystark #tony stark #fanfic

58 notes · View notes

hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

Text

‘The Absent Father and Spider-Man’s Unfulfilled Potential’: Rebuttal Part 6: Tony Stark

Master Post

It’s time for another confession.

I actually began writing this essay series a long while back but took a hiatus for various reasons. Back then I was summarizing Fettinger’s own words and responding because I had no access to a digital edition of his essay.

Now I’ve got (a little) spare time on my hands and so can finally finish what I started. But since my time isn’t limitless I’m going to save myself time and energy by just use screengrabbing passages s of his essay from Google books.

Where Google books has blank pages I have improvised and taken photos of the pages myself. It’s not a neat or tidy solution I admit but it was the best I could do on such short notice.

Notice here how Fetinger acknowledges Peter had to struggle for financial support whilst Tony never had that problem. It’s almost like he’s pointing out a huge difference between them which makes his initial comparison to them back in parts 1-2 a massive false equivalency or something.

Again with this bullshit. Yes peter would benefit from an upgraded outfit but he never had access to the tech and resources that Tony had. He was never in a position to construct a nanotech suit.

Peter was 30 YEARS OLD during Civil War. Fettinger even did the math on that himself in one of his articles that’s been lost to time.

How the fuck is 30 a ‘young man’??????

Not to mention, the example Tony set is a false equivalency. Tony didn’t have any loved ones particularly vulnerable if people knew his secret identity. They would’ve been in slightly more jeopardy at worst. But Peter had school students, a young godson and dozens of civilian friends and acquaintances that didn’t have the same protection Tony could offer Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, etc.

Not to mention there was less than 18 years between Peter and Tony. Hardly a father/son dynamic is it. Big Brother/Little Brother maybe. But it never made sense in the comics Fettinger is referring to.

HORSESHIT!

Let’s put aside how Peter wouldn’t be as impressionable as Fettinger makes out because he was a 30 year old married man who’d shouldered an adult’s responsibility for half his life and matured fast as a result.

Fettinger frames the discussion disingenuously. He plays it as though Peter is actively opposed to authority or somehow resents it. On the contrary, Peter tried to join the police force in Untold Tales #1; a fact Fettinger himself referenced in the George Stacy segment of his essay. He changed his mind specifically because he’d have to reveal his identity.

Spider-Man is only subtextually an anti-authority figure, and even then it’s never been consistent. Peter clearly holds a certain belief in law and order as he makes it his business to catch criminals and protect the public from threats.

He respects the police in general in spite of their disdain for him. Even that’s not wholly consistent because figures like Captain Stacy, Detective Jean DeWolff, her partner Stan Carter, Arthur Stacy (brother of George) and (in JMS’ run) Detective Lamont were more tan willing to work with the wall-crawler.

Peter hasn’t got a problem with authority nor does he have a craving for acceptance by them. If he did he had various options to obtain it. He sabotaged his own chances to join the Avengers in ASM Annual #3. He has used alternate identities that received a better public reception than his Spider-Man persona but actively chose to remain as Spider-Man instead.

He respects authority but he just values his independence too highly is all. Which is another reason why Fettinger’s point about Tony taking Peter AND Spider-Man under his wing doesn’t fly. Peter isn’t some kid looking for legitimacy. He was a respected teacher to children. He was a mature adult who’d cared for his family off his own back for years. He was a happily married man. He’d come of age and self-actualized as an adult long before Tony showed up to be his benefactor.

This would’ve maybe added up for a 25 (at most) year old single Peter not too long out of college. But as things stood Fettinger’s assessments are totally hollow.

Tony didn’t even give Peter legitimate employment considering Peter was still a teacher at the time. His employment under Stark was for appearances sake. Peter was also too old to care anymore about his stature or legitimacy. Maybe it might’ve irked him but he wasn’t going to sell out for the sake of it.

Indeed ASM #532 depicts Peter unsupportive of unmasking until Aunt May convinces him. Even then he changes his mind the next day before changing it back.

But this change, along with the over all decision, is simply ridiculous.

Peter teaches children. He has a pre-teen godson. His friends are predominantly normal civilians, many of whom are middle aged at least. His aunt was in her 70s and his wife has been targeted by various super villains throughout the years. His first love was murdered because a single lunatic learned who he was.

Simply put Peter would never agree to unmask. Not for Tony or anyone. It’s simply not the responsible thing to do. In a contest between his stature/legitimacy and loyalty to his (very new) benefactor Tony vs. the lives of his loved ones (including his mother and wife, both of whom he’s believed dead before) the latter will always win.

Indeed Peter alludes to this mentality in ASM #530.

The idea that 30 year old married man Peter would compromise on that because a man not old enough to be his father (who had never had as mature a relationship with a woman as he had) took him under his wing is…well…it’s a broken interpretation of the character.

That’s not a hero. That’s not responsible. That’s not even flawed. That’s a man without his own mind and agency who can be swayed and sell out with ease.

And baby, that ain’t Spider-Man!

According to Fettinger this is Spider-Man.

Oh and you know Peter himself!

This is yet another reason why Peter siding with Tony was horseshit. He’d be inclined to support Cap much more than the guy who took him under his wing for a few months.

It’s almost like Peter holds higher values that trump any affection or ‘gifts’ Daddy Stark bestowed upon him.

It’s almost like there is less than 18 years between them or something?????????

Fettinger can’t seem to make up his mind.

Is Peter going to alter his value system to comply with Tony’s desire for him to unmask? Or is Tony’s value system incompatible with Peter’s?

Because if it is the latter then why would he endanger his loved ones by unmasking!

Master Post

#Tony Stark #Iron Man #Anthony Stark #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Civil War 2006 #j. michael straczynski

11 notes · View notes

evien-stark · 4 years

Text

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 156

The lab became an immediate flurry of dual activity. Tony and Bruce were determined to do the best that they could with the resources they had and the extremely limited slot of time. It became apparent very quickly that you being there was unnecessary, you were kind of in the way- you couldn’t really help them. And aside all that… you really didn’t want to be near the scepter. Everything was still so fresh and painful and even catching a single glance at it made your stomach roll.

There was also something else… Tony was bounding wildly from emotion to emotion. Something that wasn’t easily seen, Bruce had no problem integrating with him and working- but for you… you worried. He was so terribly manic. Sure, it might have had to do with the time crunch but you suspected something else was happening here. He might have felt like this was his one shot to get this right. And you still wondered what had happened down in Strucker’s lab…

Eventually as morning bled into early afternoon the next day, you made them both fresh cups of coffee and then stopped at Tony’s workstation as he was beating on his keyboard with rapid strokes, eyes up on his screen as calculations and code and who knew what else flew by under his quick hands. You gave him a little touch at his shoulder and he only just barely registered you were there. A true testament to that he was losing himself to this work. You’d been here before, and it was never good.

But this wasn’t permanent. And if his end goal was met, it would only be infinitely good. So you had to put aside your uneasy feelings, helped by his own overflowing ones, and just let him work. Though you were doing that, it didn’t mean you had to be here to witness it. “I’m gonna go.”

Hearing that, though, so soon after… everything, he seemed to snap to and glanced over at you. “Go?”

“You guys don’t need me here, and we have a party to plan.” A good enough excuse to get away from the lab and just let them be.

“I always need you.” He was lucky he was nothing if not consistent in his care with you, otherwise you might suspect he was laying it on thick.

Putting a hand on his chest with a little pat, you leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek. There was just a little relief when things felt normal. You still weren’t sure you could put everything aside but… get through this you would. “Well you were the one who wanted a party.”

“Pepper can do all that.” But this… he suddenly exuded a quiet little shadow of nervousness. As if he let you go you might come to the realization that you didn’t, in fact, forgive him.

“So can I.” There wasn’t enough time right now to settle his heart. But with what means you had, you tried. “I love you. Keep working. I’ll be back.” Trying to reassure him. No, you would not run off and remember that you were incredibly angry with him. It hadn’t been the case to begin with. You wouldn’t find yourself there no matter what.

He stared at you for a long moment, gaze somewhere between pleading and anxious. But when the computers started making noise he pressed his lips together with a little exhale through his nose. “Sure. Okay.” You recognized what he was doing as soon as he did it, picking your hand up, holding it in his, and then lifting further to press a kiss to the back as his eyes closed. Holding on to that feeling. “I love you, too.” Murmured against your skin.

The both of you still had a lot of work to do, this much you knew. He was hurting. So were you. But you’d get through it.

You smiled when he looked again. “Do your thing. Save the world.” This was supposed to be a teasing and loving remark-

But it signaled a spike of panic in him that struck you like lightning. It barely registered anywhere else on him- but he knew you knew. Because you were you. So he swallowed and turned away, letting you go. “Yeah. I’ll give it the old college try.” Going back to his work. Burying himself there. Letting you go now.

There was no right way to respond to this. You could pull him aside from his work, but that had the potential to make it worse. Whatever had triggered him was running rampant through him, and likely he would not be able to rest until he finished this. So you had to let him go. Better, then, that you were out of his way. You gave him a careful caress, your hand at his arm, letting him know without saying as much- you knew he wasn’t in a good way right now. You were not ignoring his distress (or blind to it, for that matter). But now wasn’t a good time. So. The two of you would talk about it later.

Whenever that came.

---

You made a cozy spot in your office, finding it strange to be happy to be back there. But your office was a Stark Industries business related zone- or at least that’s apparently what you’d fooled your brain into thinking. It was just easier to be in that space, even when you were technically planning a party for the Avengers while inside it. Easier still to get lost in emails and a few phone calls, new design plans for the compound that had been sent your way to be okayed and expanded on, and not have to worry about Tony running for answers you hoped he’d find, and not have to think about you.

Something you slipped in and out of. It was strange. Even separated by several floors, you could still sort of hear that hum the scepter had now switched to. No longer a whine. Not as unpleasant. It was like it’d imprinted on to you. And you wanted absolutely nothing to do with that.

So it was nice when Steve knocked on your office door, shown in by Pepper and you waved him in to sit. He seemed a little apprehensive, though, as he took a seat in one of the plush chairs in front of your desk. You offered him a smile. “What can I do you for?”

“I didn’t mean to come bother you, if you’re busy. I can come back.”

“You never bother me.” Reassuring him easily enough.

His smile then was a little relieved. “I’m sure that’s not true. But. If you’re working on the invites, I thought I’d ask permission for a few more.”

Oh? For some reason you were excited to hear this. “Whoever you want. Friends of yours?” The thought that Steve had settled enough to make friends outside his work life (regardless of how close you felt to him) was a pretty happy one, for one reason or another.

“Uh. I guess you could say that. It’s some guys from the VFW. They were having a meeting at a restaurant one night and- well, we got to talking.” Oh. Hm. He seemed pretty happy, so there was no reason to rain on his parade. And it was nice for him to make whatever friends he wanted- connections were still connections. But… you wouldn’t wonder if he was having a hard time talking to people not related to his line of work. To those parts of his past.

Still, you felt yourself nodding quickly enough. “Sure, Steve. I’d be happy to meet them, too. Unless they’re not fans.” With those types it could always go either way. Stark Industries had been in the war business longer than you’d been alive. And then pulled out rather quickly. They could have loved you as much as they could have hated you. Tony, too, for that matter.

“They’ve only ever had nice things to say about you. So I imagine it won’t be a problem.”

You grinned. “Well in that case, I’ll pay for their transportation, too.” With the matter resolved, he stood and seemed like he was going to leave. You cast a glance up his way. “Did you invite Sam?”

At this, Steve gave a nod. “Yeah. It’ll be nice to have some time together.”

“What about Sharon?”

Being entirely caught his shoulders slumped and he made just a little bit of a face, lips drawn in a side twist. “Is there any reason you keep barking up that tree?”

This surprised you, though. He didn’t seem upset, but he was slightly put-off. “You had one awkward dinner with her, as far as I can recall. I think you should try again, is all.”

He crossed his arms. “Why? Is it really necessary?”

You had to take a moment to figure out how to answer this- and where he was coming from. “If you want me to leave you alone about your personal life, I understand- you just… kind of seemed to like her.”

“That doesn’t mean we’ll end up together.” This was such a defeatist attitude. And it was very strange, seeing it on him. “Or even that we should.”

“Not if you don’t try.”

“Who says I want to?”

Really, now, you were a little stuck. And felt sort of bad. You couldn’t help your frown, or your shying back from the matter. He was being a little intense for your liking. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry. I’ll leave it alone.”

His mood seemed to break easily after that. “I’m not upset-” Unfolding his arms once more to hold a hand up and then dropping both. “Sorry- if I gave you that impression. I just don’t know if it’s worth pursuing at this point.”

There was a gentle lift of your brows. “...can I give you my professional opinion?” Teasing, a little. And it hit its mark, as he smiled lightly. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“Just ask her to come and see what happens. I bet she will.” You just had a feeling about it.

He tipped his head a little to the side. “Why do you say that?”

“Woman’s intuition.” Saying this with a little wiggle of your shoulders.

His smile morphed into a grin. “Ah- that sort of professional opinion, huh?” You just nodded deeply to this. “Well. I guess I can’t argue too much with that.”

“No you can’t.” A little snappy edge to your words.

A little breath escaped him and his head dropped with a small close of his eyes. He then continued smiling as he nodded. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll ask her. Thanks for the peptalk.”

“You’re very welcome.”

---

The Saturday party was filling up rather quickly. You made sure to have invites sent out to all the lab assistants, and had a brief conversation with Maria about having her DC agents come- if they’d like. Stark Industry employees somehow made their way onto the bill. Rhodey got a personal call. Anyone and everyone who was even a little responsible for this mission close had more than earned a little reprieve. A night of free drinks, free food, good atmosphere…

Which of course was all on you. But things like this were simple by now. You knew the best caterers. You knew the best bars, the best booze… it was nice to have your mind on anything other than the slow creeping corners around the edge of your mind. There was a voice somewhere that you were wholly ignoring as you sent out your last email for the night, somewhere around one in the morning.

As you turned off your computer monitor, you got sucked into watching your reflection staring back at you from the black screen. Watching your own eyes. A little angry buzz lit up somewhere in your brain. Enough to get a headache going. And that’s when you forcefully removed yourself from your office to go the labs.

You keyed yourself in- noticing that the windows were blacked out. Not sure why they were running the high security protocol again. Surely nothing as bad as what had happened before had happened. At least you hoped. Tony was sitting on the floor, papers scattered all around him as his hands touched over a few pieces at a time, no doubt speed reading his way through each one. Bruce was standing in the far corner, back to you, though he did pretend not to look up when you came in.

The air inside was stale and tense. Clearly they’d made no progress.

As you came to a stop next to him, Tony glanced up at you briefly and then leaned a little to rest his head against your leg. Inching in just a little, you worked your fingers through his hair. “Can I get you guys dinner or something? Have you eaten?”

He flipped over one of the papers. “More coffee would be ideal.” Pitching his voice without removing his eyes from what he was going over, “Bruce? You?”

Bruce gave a light look over his shoulder. “Actually… a break and some food would be nice…”

Disappointment rumbled off Tony and his head dipped just a little lower. You massaged at his scalp lightly and he took a breath in and let it out as a sigh. “Yeah. Why don’t we- ...let’s take a break. We’ll regroup in a couple of hours. No sense forcing this when we’re running on empty.”

We meaning Bruce. Tony was being incredibly charitable here, because you knew if left unchecked, he would go for hours and hours that moved into days and days. No sleep. Bare minimum. You also didn’t like when he got this way. When his focus narrowed into tunnel vision, as he ran straight towards one theory or idea he found validity in because it made him feel safe.

He’d built suits underneath a house that no longer existed for months. Struggling under the crippling weight of anxiety and trauma. You found yourself lucky the scepter would only be here a couple more days.

Relief was easy to feel from Bruce as he shifted his arm, taking a look at his watch. “Let’s come back at five.” That was more than a couple of hours- which prompted a quick bout of sheepishness. “If that’s alright…”

Tony gave a wave of dismissal. “Five’s good.”

That was enough time for food and a catnap. Hopefully it would recharge Bruce. Now all you had to do, as Bruce gave you a small goodbye as he passed you, was figure out what to do with Tony. “You won’t come to bed if I ask you nicely, will you?” Deciding to try the most obvious avenue.

Reaching forward, he swooped all the loose pieces of paper together, picking them up and tapping them on the floor to straighten them into a cohesive pile. “I can. But it’d be a waste of time.”

“Yeah.” This soft and a little sad as it escaped you, agreeing easily where you knew he was only being honest. He could come up to the penthouse. He could lie down. And he’d also just be lying awake for hours. So what was the point?

He shifted a little, leaning back, pressing one palm on the floor to help himself up. When he couldn’t quite seem to make the journey, you offered yours to him instead. So very easily he switched tactics, and as soon as his hand was in yours, you helped him to his feet. The two of you shared a long look at one another until he turned away, putting his papers down on the nearest table. “We’re missing something- I’m not sure what- it feels like we’re close but not close enough. I just gotta find the missing piece.”

“What exactly is it you’re doing?” You knew the basics. He wanted Ultron up and ready. And you knew what he was after. But asking him to try and go over it for you was just letting him talk into the air. Maybe it would help him. ...you hoped it would, because as he murmured about dense data schematics and power loads and this, that, and the other science-y thing that went way over your head, you realized you served little other use to him. Although it was always rather lovely to hear him rattle on about things only he understood. Once he was finished it sounded like you remembered what the sound of English was like again. “We keep pushing the integration trials, but they’re all failing. There’s something out of place. And the window’s getting smaller.”

Tony could find a way to do anything, you truly believed that. And time crunch was never a problem for him before- at least not in the way of getting things done. Because he would. He’d figure whatever it was out, always, and make the vision go. But always at the expense of himself. He could be at this nonstop until Thor forcibly removed the scepter from his hands… what would it prove?

Well… if he got Ultron up… wouldn’t that mean the soft beginning to your actual lives? A future where you and Tony could build a house and have a life and not worry about what next big thing that was coming to destroy humanity? That was the idea. And the reason he was prepared to run himself into the ground. They were both very powerful tools of motivation, you knew…

As he leaned in over the table, you put a kind hand on his back, stroking softly upwards along his spine. “Will you come sit on the balcony and have a cup of coffee with me?” He wouldn’t go to sleep. But if you could at least get him to take a small break and get some fresh air…

His shoulders sagged, head dropping a little, but eventually he nodded. “Sure, honey. That sounds nice.”

---

You sat him down on the penthouse balcony first and left with a light kiss at his temple. Coffee was quick and easy enough to make, and when you came back, he had Dvahli on his lap. At least the weather was mild this late at night. May would be here in just a few more days.

Setting a tray down on the table, you took the full pot of coffee off and actually prepared a cup for him there. And with it, on a small plate, you offered some bakery cookies. No idea who had bought them, but they didn’t seem poisoned. He needed to eat something. It was no substitute for a meal, but you assumed this was the best he was going to be able to do regardless.

Once you finished making your own cup, you sat down across the small table from him, turning to look out over the city. Still alive with life, even now. His gaze was also out towards the horizon, but you could see he wasn’t looking at anything in particular. He was just gone. In his own head. It was why you reached over to lay a hand atop his and when his attention returned and he shifted to look at you, you decided to breach the unbearable. “Let’s talk about what happens if Ultron isn’t finished by Saturday.”

His brows lifted, a faint surprise taking hold of him- that you would even ask such a thing- but then his gaze drifted lower and a more troubled air took over him. “We continue living the way we already are.” Seemed a simple enough explanation.

“Is that so terrible?” If that was the worst-case scenario, was it really that bad?

When he looked at you again, there was something haunted about his eyes. “You tell me.” In a strange way it felt like he was accusing you of something- but that wasn’t really it. It was something else far more difficult to untangle. Yet the feeling that it had brought on was nothing short of horrible. You felt bad.

Tempering your initial reaction, you made sure to steady yourself. Tone careful as you turned it back on him, “No, Tony. You tell me.”

He stared at you for a long time before eventually looking away again. Somewhere else entirely when he spoke, “We’re not ready.” Immediately he lit up in this awful franticness, heart aflutter. Darkness clawing at him. It was hard to sit there, still and silent, while internally he struggled so deeply. “Something’s coming- maybe even a lot of somethings. You and I- we’ll make it work.” There was a little guilt that bubbled up, and he actually winced, blinking a few times over as his hand turned over yours, holding you finally. “Not that I take that for granted- I don’t-”

You didn’t want him to lose whatever he was chasing, though. Whatever it was that was paining him so greatly. So you gave him a squeeze, and a whisper of encouragement. “We’re okay.”

His nod was a little dazed. “Sure. We’re- ...we’re okay. You and I- we’ll figure everything out. We may not get everything that we want but… who does, right?” Even saying this, you felt the immense hurt clawing at his heart. It killed him to acknowledge that the two of you might run into the possibility of… not having the life you wanted. That he wouldn’t be able to give it to you. He was trying desperately to make it seem any other way. But. You knew him too well. And you could feel his heartbreak over it. He swallowed hard and shook his head. “But the team? Earth et al? We’re not ready.”

He said this so firmly. Like a truth he was certain of. One that everyone else had yet to come to terms with- and maybe they wouldn’t- and by the time they came around, it would be too late. He couldn’t fix everything, couldn’t save everyone, couldn’t solve the problem-

You really had to keep a handle on yourself to not fall into his void. To not spiral alongside with him. “And Ultron fixes all that? It makes us ready?”

“You know- I would love to put a suit of armor around the world and… have everyone link hands and sing songs about peace. I really would.” There was a huff of bitter amusement. The biting sarcasm wasn’t aimed at you, so you tried to not take it too personally. “But something tells me we’re never gonna get there. Not at this rate. Ultron is- it’s a better middle ground. I don’t wanna box the world off, I wanna protect it. Whatever that looks like…”

The question was on the tip of your tongue. One you had not asked in a long, long time. Because it was too much for him. But he was already on that edge. And something in Strucker’s lab had pushed him back there again. Wanda- you supposed- had done something. It wasn’t just being reminded of the Chitauri-

You were extremely gentle as you asked, “What did you see?”

In steady moves, he lifted his head with what seemed like great strain, like a pressure was holding him down- or holding him back. Because as his eyes moved up again, and he locked his gaze on you-

A rush of nightmares flooded through you. Attacked every part of you. Something dark and final. Intermingled with loud flashes from the battle. That wormhole up above- Blood and death- And Tony. Alone atop it all. Powerless to do anything. Powerless to stop it- powerless to save anyone anymore.

The earth was in shambles, and his team- his family was gone.

Yet even still that wasn’t enough. They kept coming- the destruction kept raining-

His voice pulled you out of a nightmare that had been choking him since the Battle of New York. “I saw the end of everything.” He’d seen it through the wormhole. He’d been shown it again in that lab. His voice trembled a little, “And it was my fault.” He was too raw like this-

“Why would it be your fault?” Why was he blaming himself for an outcome that hadn’t even happened yet? It was too much to bear, this guilt of his. How did he do it?

“Because I didn’t do enough. I didn’t stop it. I started it. And I never stopped it.” His eyes had gone a little foggy, a little glassy. Maybe you were too much of a mirror reflection, because he turned his head away with a wet sniff in the next second, putting a hand over his eyes for a moment before softly rubbing at his temples.

About the same time that you lifted your hand to brush a tear that had strayed from your lashes. One more time, now with more knowledge than before, you asked, “Ultron fixes all that? It keeps us safe?”

He nodded into the void. “It’s the best chance we’ve got right now.”

“Okay.” Trusting in him. Believing in him. If he said Ultron would save the world… then it would.

Which was why it was terribly unfortunate, a little over twenty-four hours later, that you came to the lab with his suit draped over your arm, party a few hours away, and the deep, unrelenting pain of failure was threatening to pull him apart. He was staring at a simulation that seemed to be bursting. Breaking down. Taking him with it.

Stopping close beside him, you laid your head against his shoulder, staring into the frightening unknown with him. You really didn’t know if it was true anymore, but you at least believed in your heart- “We’ll be okay.”

His voice was empty. He was a million miles away in a place that was neither safe nor pleasant. “Yeah. We’ll be okay.” Blindly he reached out, and you had to help him make the connection, slipping your hand into his. He held on with a terrifying tightness. Anchored only in that moment by you.

The two of you would just have to drown a little while longer, and keep convincing each other. Because the alternative… no. You really wouldn’t survive that.

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #INY Chapter One Hundred Fifty Six

4 notes · View notes

cinnamonrollstark · 5 years

Text

By now, Peter should have come to peace with it. At least, that's how it feels. It's been a little over a year since Tony died, and many of those around him have started to move on.

Wet heat coats him, Atlanta humidity foreign to his skin. Peter brushes damp curls of chestnut hair out of his eyes and glances up at the darkening sky. Anxiety swells in his chest like a slowly inflating balloon, and he falters as he makes his way to the small crowd across the sand, and lake water laps at his feet, timid, urging him on gently.

This isn't the first fourth of July without Tony, but it's the first time they celebrated. After the blip, there was a great deal of confusion surrounding tradition, and things are finally beginning to get back to normal. For most people, that is. But hardly anything could ever seen normal to Peter again.

Pepper notices him first, her daughter at her hip. Morgan's grown a bit from the last time he's seen her, and by the day, she looks increasingly like her father. They look as if they are laughing, and when the daughter catches sight of him, she bounds to Peter with the speed and enthusiasm one only has in youth.

Arms wrap tightly around Peter's waist, and he can't help but smile as Morgan jumps up and down in the embrace, causing his beach towel to bounce around his neck.

"Hey Morgs. What's up?"

She pulls away, smiling. "Mommy's making cheeseburgers!" Peter notices a gap in her grin, a missing tooth. It makes her look even younger than she is, and he ruffles her dark hair as he would a puppy.

"Cheeseburgers? That's awesome. You remember out handshake?"

Morgan thinks for a moment, then nods excitedly. The handshake they've created consists of a lot of fist bumps and elbow touches, and the girl has it down pat.

"Amazing. Let's go say hi to everyone, yeah?"

Morgan nods and pushes her messy hair out of her eyes. "Yeah."

They don't see eachother often. They met at the funeral, of course, but that hadn't been a perfect introduction, given the circumstances. About a month after, at Tony's birthday celebration and memorial, they'd met again, and Morgan had let him in on quite a few stories Tony had shared of him over the years.

"Daddy said we're bother and sister. Can we still be even if daddy's not here?"

That meeting had gone better. Still tearful, for obvious reasons, but better all the same. And she does feel like a sister, albeit, a distant one. Part of being around her involves remembering Tony, which Peter constantly tries to avoid.

Pepper, on the other hand, is even harder to communicate with. She handles grief so gracefully, as if she's been prepared for his death all her life. And maybe she has- that's the hero life, isn't it? It's not as if she's moved on entirely, she hasn't gone on a date or taken off her wedding ring. But Peter knows that the act of careful composure is a front, on her part. No one could lose Tony Stark and be so okay with it.

As Peter and Morgan make their way to the group, he tries to avoid looking at her. Perhaps he's jealous of her peace, but at the moment, he just feels sad. Any person he talks to here reminds him of Mr. Stark in some way, and it's eating him from the inside out. It had been better for his mental health to avoid thinking about him, avoid the greif and the hurt, and instead fill his heart with young love and travel. That, of course, had not turned out as spectacularly as planned, and it was harder than he imagined to avoid the subject of Iron Man.

When they enter the crowd, Happy pats him on the back. "Good to see you again, kiddo. How you doing?"

Peter offers a sad smile and shrugs. "Okay, I guess. You?"

"Better. A lot better."

Rhodey pops his head around Happy's shoulder. "Hey Pete, grab a hamburger. Fireworks gonna happen soon."

Peter nods. "Hey Rhodey."

The man walks past him with a burger in his mouth, and nods, muffling the words "Hey arachnachild." against the bun. Happy laughs.

Peter doesn't feel like laughing; the smell of grilling meat turns his stomach, and he feels as if he's going to be sick. How the others- or at least, those that had been there- don't turn in horror at the familiar scent is beyond him. Wafts of sizzling meat fills the open air, and Peter can't help but remember the look on Tony's face, half-burnt, mouth slack and eyes wandering.

The way Pepper had pulled him away then. How she got to say goodbye, and how she told him it was okay to go- it wasn't. He was needed. He always would be.

Peter makes a beeline for the woods, away from the small crowd of familiar faces, and retches on to the dirt. Greif rises in his chest, panic swelling and causing more bile to rise and flip his stomach. The effort to rein it in brings tears to his eyes, and they spill over effortlessly as he stands weakly, one hand propping him up against a tree.

Twigs break underfoot behind him, and he sighs, knowing he now has company, silently praying that it isn't Morgan.

"Hey kid," Pepper says, and the boy turns to face her. "You okay?"

Her hands are propped in the pockets of her jeans, her head cocked in question. Peter has little to give, little to say. What more does he have to lose, and what even is the point of lying.

"I miss him so much," he says, not bothering to steady his voice, and the words come out tilted in his tears. "So much. It's just all wrong."

Pepper closes her eyes and pulls him into a hug. She is quite motherly, comforting and soft against him, and he sinks into the embrace, sobbing as quietly as he can. Pepper pats him between the shoulder blades, and rubs his back in small circles. She must do this for Morgan, Peter figures, when the girl is upset.

"Why did you tell him to go?" He whimpers into her shoulder, tears falling down the bridge of his nose and on to her neck. "Why didn't you tell him to fight and stay?"

To Peter's suprise, she doesn't recoil. She simply pulls slightly away, and wipes the tears from his cheeks with the heel of her palms. "Oh, Peter. I didn't tell him to go. But he was already going. I just wanted to make him feel okay, before he did."

Peter wipes his nose and his chest shudders in a post-cry hiccup.

"How are you so okay with it?" He asks, not so much accusatory as curious. If anything, he would like to know how to deal with this as she is.

Pepper laughs, and the sound is so strange to hear in moment like this that Peter feels as if he's said something wrong.

"I'm not okay, Peter. At least, not all the time. But I've had so much longer to get used to the idea- I mean, even before Tony took on the whole Iron Man thing? He was reckless. Daring, radical. And that only got more extreme when he became a superhero. He knew what that meant and so did I. I knew from the moment I met him he would break my heart somehow. I knew when he took this on? That I was going to have to accept whatever came along because of it. I've been greiving for Tony since the day I met him. I guess that makes it seem like I'm over it, now. I'm not- I miss him like hell. Especially on days like today."

Pepper turns her head and smiles at their friends and family, who are setting up lawn chairs and peach towels to sit on. She looks back at him, eyes warm and brimming with tears.

"Come on, let's go join the party, yeah? I've got a suprise- per Tony's request."

□□□

Wind blows ripples in the lake, shaking the moon against the water. Along the water's edge, around a dozen Iron Man Suits stand before Pepper, who is delivering a speech to the group.

"Before he died, Tony set up a protocol for us when I felt the time was right. I found out about it the day I came home from the hospital, sitting in our bedroom with the helmet of one of his old suits. That was when Friday revealed to me, the Memorial Protocol. Now, this protocol isn't exactly new to me, at least, not entirely."

Pepper smiles and wipes her cheeks, the lake glimmering in moonlight behind her.

"About ten years ago, Tony became focused on his suits. Creating them, tweaking them, making them better in every way that he could. At first it was harmless, but it became an obsession. He knew I didn't like that his life had become completely and entirely about his job. Maybe that was selfish of me, but he recognized the issue, and suprised me one night- after we both almost died- shocking, I know- with a show. All his suits, aside from the one he was wearing were flown, unmanned, to the open air above us. One after the other, the suits were set off in the sky, the brightest firework shows I've ever seen."

She swallows, and composes herself.

"Even though Tony eventually began again with the suits, he knew how much that night meant to me. Now, I'll always keep the suit we lost him in. He was my husband, a friend to you, a father-" she paused, looking first to Morgan, then to Peter, "to a few amazing kids. There are some mementos of Tony that we can never let go of. But there comes a time when life is about stepping forward in life. Tony was never his suits. He never needed them to be powerful, and they did not make him Iron Man. His heart, and his perseverance were what made him the hero we knew. So he left this protocol, to me, to you. Our way of saying goodbye, and letting go- not of him, but of whatever holds us back. Tonight, I thought would be the best time to utilize it."

Pepper smiles, nods, and steps back, facing the lake.

"Friday?" She says into the open air. Peter notices, then, the small earpiece she has in.

"You know what to do."

"The Memorial Protocol?"

Pepper lets out a shaking sigh, tears trailing down her cheeks. Moonlight glints off her irises, and she takes one last deep breath in.

"Happy fourth of July, Tony."

One by one, the chest and eyes of the suits light up, humming to life. Peter feels the sand shake with the vibrations, and blinks away the tears in his eyes.

A suit takes off into the night sky, somewhere above the lake, a burst of light radiating from the metal before it blows, a golden show of fireworks reflecting off the water. As Peter begins to sob- not so much with sadness, as much as it is greif finally pouring from him- Rhodey scoots forward in the sand and grips Peter's hand. Without looking, he can tell Rhodey is crying too.

As each suit makes it's way into the sky, bursting with light, raining down far above the stagnant water, fireflies lighting up between the crowd, Peter feels himself finally moving on, each colorful explosion knocking his peace into place.

When the last suit makes its mark upon the sky, Peter catches Pepper's eyes across the sand and smiles, tears on his cheeks. And though she can't hear him over the firework show, she understands every word he mouthes.

"It's okay. He's at rest, now."

Surrounded by those he loves, Peter looks up at the sky and closes his eyes, summer breeze combing through his curls, and feels at peace for the first time in a year.

Happy fourth of July, Tony.

172 notes · View notes

parkrstark · 6 years

Text

i pour my heart into your hands

This is written for my love @losingmymindtonight...it’s not much and it’s not very good, but I hope you can still enjoy it. I love you so much and the world really is a a better place since you came along. I have no idea what’d I’d do if I didn’t have you by my side through all of this. I doubt I’d be where I am. I thank God every day for you. And I hope one day I can give you all of this love is person, but until then, I’ll take our late night conversations...even if you always fall asleep...so this fic, this fic is for you and the words you said to me one night I will never forget.

Tony wasn’t a stranger to not sleeping. For him, it was as common as breathing.

Insomnia claimed him every night before sleep could. Maybe at one point in his life sleep used to try and put up a fight, but now it must have known it was fighting a losing battle. No matter how loud exhaustion begged, sleep never answered.

Insomnia was never alone though, so maybe sleep just wasn’t invited. Maybe the VIP list consisted of only insomnia, fear, and anxiety.

It was really nothing new, so most times it didn’t bother him. He could easily distract himself with other things like tinkering in his workshop or working through emails and stuff Pepper put aside for him.

It was lonely as hell and sometimes even the bots weren’t enough to keep the pit in his stomach from making itself known. The empty feeling could only be numbed with alcohol-- and lots of it.

That was, until Peter Parker came into his life. It didn’t happen right away, but soon after the whole Coney Island fiasco, Tony started having him the lab and working alongside him.

They worked well together. When Tony lacked something, Peter filled it. They meshed perfectly and before long, Tony completely forgot what it was like not to have a little shadow of his by his side.

Peter became a constant in his life, just like the insomnia. But also just like the insomnia, he was invited to the late nights. He was more often than not up until the early hours of the morning watching movies or doing something in the lab with him. Even if it wasn’t all night, it was something.

And selfishly, Tony loved it because he finally had someone to chase away any worries that may have been bothering him. It was easy to forget about everything bothering him when he had the kid by his side. He wished it was always like that.

However, the kid didn’t share Tony’s knack for staying awake for days. He actually had a surprisingly healthy sleep schedule. And as much as Tony hated seeing the kid off to sleep, he’d rather him get the sleep he needed than drag him down with him. He could deal with the lonely nights. He was used to it. He hoped Peter never learned the feeling.

And the kid could fall asleep just about anywhere. And he did.

It didn’t matter if they were at a lab desk or on the couch, Peter knocked out when his body needed the sleep. Sometimes Tony found himself feeling a little jealous, but if it had to be one of them, he was glad it was Peter.

As the months and years passed, Tony became an expert in knowing when the kid was getting sleepy enough to fall asleep. He’d talk slower and rub his eyes to try and chase away the drowsiness. He’d get even clingier than usual, looking for someone to cuddle up with and fall asleep. (Tony will never forget the first time Peter caught Rhodey after an exhausting mission and he was the kid’s pillow all night).

When he saw these signs, he knew to cajole the kid to a couch or bed so he could sleep normally. He learned early that if he didn’t persuade the kid in time, he was caring a Spider-Kid lump to his bedroom in the tower. And his back did not appreciate him very much for that.

Unfortunately, time kept ticking and before either of them knew it, Peter graduated high school. And then it was time for college and Peter packed his bags for MIT. Which again, selfishly, Tony wasn’t too happy about when it came to moving him in. He always knew the kid was going there-- he had the brains and the passion. He was a perfect fit. He just didn’t think about the part where he’d have to leave him there...

No more dropping by the Parkers for dinner every now and then. No more picking him up from school and taking him to the lab. No more watching the kid drool all over himself during movie nights. No more worrying about him webbing around Queens at all hours of the night.

They kept in touch of course. There wasn't a day when Peter wasn't blowing up Tony’s phone with text messages. It wasn’t the same as talking in person, but it was enough.

Just like always though, when it started getting late, Peter crashed. Tony was left awake as the notifications stopped for the night.

The funny part was, was that it was never an official goodnight either. They'd be in the middle of talking about something and suddenly, Peter would stop responding. After the first time it happened, Tony panicked and had Karen (of course, he installed her in the kid’s phone) scan Peter and relay to FRIDAY and Tony that he was in fact just sleeping. From then on, Tony always knew the kid had just passed out mid-text.

One night, close to finals, Peter had video called Tony. He was exhausted and all of his studying was taking a toll on him. He was working himself to the bone. Tony told him to take it easy, but of course, he didn’t listen.

Peter was laying down in bed, holding the phone to his face close enough that it could shine some light on him. It was enough illumination for Tony to see the bags under his eyes.

Just like always, Tony was awake and welcomed the distraction from his own mess. Not only was he a distraction, but he made Tony feel calm and at peace for once. He genuinely felt a million times better when talking to him.

“You look like crap, kiddo.”

“Oh, thanks,” Peter mumbled, yawning loudly.

“Sleepy?” Tony grinned, teasing clear in his voice.

“Shut up. You know my brain needs its 9 hours of sleep,” he replied sluggishly. “Doesn’t work without. I’m a mess.”

“9 hours? Is that even possible?” Tony joked, although truthfully, he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept longer than 6 hours a night. His average was about 4.

Peter rolled his eyes; he wasn't good at disguising his sassiness when he was exhausted. “You're ridiculous. You actually concern me. You may know?”

Despite the genuine worry in Peter’s voice, Tony chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. I concern myself too.” He paused to shrug his shoulders. “But I've turned out fine so far.”

“Surprisingly.”

“Hey, none of that. Don't bully your old man. He's fragile in his old age.”

Peter smiled softly, his eyes drifting shut before fluttering back open again. “Not my fault. Make it so darn easy.”

“I liked you better when you were in high school and afraid of me,” Tony said, lowering his voice so it was more soothing to help Peter fall asleep.

“Never afraid of you. Just starstruck. Big difference.”

Tony watched as he struggled to keep his eyes open. “Oh, yeah. Both of them made you have a little respect for me. So I don't care which we go with.”

“Saw you drop a slice of pizza on the floor and pick up, dip it in ranch dressing and eat it without hesitation. All my respect for you is gone,” Peter replied, his eyes shutting closed again. They stayed shut for a few seconds before he peeled them back open.

Tony smiled at him and said, “You know you can go to sleep right?”

“M’fine,” he lied, trying to widen his eyes even more. Tony could see the desperation in his eyes to sleep.

“You need sleep, Pete. I don't wanna keep you up.”

Peter shook his head, his curls bouncing slightly. “If I wanted to sleep, I would have just fallen asleep already.”

Tony laughed. “Tell me about it, kid. You always fall asleep when I'm talking to you. Am I that boring?”

It was meant as a joke, but in less than a second, Peter answered genuinely, “No, I fall asleep talking to you because you make me feel safe.”

Tony paused, his mind unable to understand the words Peter just said. “Pete--.”

“I'm serious,” Peter said, finally letting his eyes shut for good. “I'm can fall asleep ‘round you ‘cus I know I’m safe. Thank you.”

Tony couldn't understand why this kid would trust him of all people. Or why he would even waste his time with him. But there was something that drew Peter to him and he hoped it never disappeared. Because he'd give anything for that kid. He'd die for him. The kid didn't understand just how much he meant to Tony. Even if Tony told him so every day, he still wouldn't understand. It was indescribable.

But if Peter trusted him, then he going to protect that trust with everything he had.

Truthfully, Tony enjoyed the times that Peter stopped answering and was finally asleep. Because even if it meant leaving him all alone, at least he was getting some sleep. He was safe and asleep.

Which speaking of, Peter was safe and finally asleep on the video call. He was asleep with his head on his pillow and his phone resting in his hand, though the view from the phone camera was slightly crooked now. He was snoring softly and Tony knew he was out for the night.

He smiled and said, “Goodnight, Petey. I'll be here when you wake up.”

And until you do, I’ll keep you safe.

#happy anniversary my love #iron dad #peter parker #tony story #shannon writes #insomnia

299 notes · View notes

spidercakes · 5 years

Note

Starker for 002 in the ask thing if you wouldn't mind dear author 💜 -StarkerBrain3000

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when of if I started shipping it.

Hard to pinpoint. I saw it probably just after Civil War for the first time, thought ‘hmm’ and then watched the massive backlash to it appear. Never paid much attention to it, though, mostly because starker didn’t sit in any of my inner circle of blogs I follow at the time, so most of it was peripheral and given the weird amount of hate Tony’s character got I already only followed hella select blogs in the MCU fandom.

I got way more into the ship about 3 months ago though. Went on a reading binge and then made this blog. I’m not sure why it happened to be when it was, but I’m already established as a fic writer elsewhere and felt a bit burnt out. This pairing has been like a nice vacation because I like producing content for it and this is a surprisingly interactive fandom? The most interactive I’ve ever dealt with anyway.

my thoughts:

Good lord people on this site take shipping and fiction in general way too seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I live and breath social justice- I have a gender studies degree- its a big part of my life. But antis seem to fundamentally misunderstand how fiction affects reality and how reality affects fiction. They remind me a lot of anti porn feminists in the 70′s claiming that porn made men violent towards women when that’s A- not definitively proven even now and B- you don’t watch an hour long porn flick and become a misogynist, you were already misogynistic and then the porn reaffirmed your shitty values, and the shitty treatment of women in the porn was because misogyny already existed in mainstream culture and was thus included in the porn. Which is generally how fiction affecting reality works- something preexisting in the culture is reinforced by mainstream media and then reabsorbed by the audience, which is why people can watch slashers without you know, turning into one.

And the fact that antis remind me of that particular group of feminists doesn’t leave me with a high opinion of them really. They lack a lot of critical thinking skills, don’t even seem to understand how fan fiction works also, and they also keep redefining the definition of pedophilia for... fuck knows what reason because it sure shit isn’t to help victims of actual CSA. They’re irritating at best and absolute hypocrites at worst- like who the hell says ‘save the children, kill yourself’ and thinks that’s actually acceptable?

As for the ship itself I’ve always preferred AUs, and this pairing is no exception though I’d never actually write it in canon. Canon sideways maybe, but it’d have to be pretty sideways for me to consider it. Plus I find it more fun to make my own sandbox to play in rather than the writers of the MCU’s box. I’ve already seen them in that setting, I want to play with them in new settings lol. That said I’ve not written much of this pairing before so its all new stuff and this particular fandom offers new tropes to play around with! That’s what had me most excited walking into the fandom, the way people toyed with the characters.

What makes me happy about them:

The unique dynamic they have- I’ve always been drawn to characters who have an interesting dynamic. Plus Tony Stark is one of my fav characters in anything anyway and I ship him with almost everyone (minus Pepper, no hate to Pepper!). I figure that’s why this ship came about too- Tony is interesting and well drawn out as a character, and I loved Tom Holland’s Spidey. He’s the best who’s had the character in my opinion so pairing them together was probably something inevitable. Other than that I like the way the fandom toys with their characters- not always in character, but still a lot of fun to read and imagine!

What makes me sad about them:

Well, half of them are dead, so...

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Good god, daddy kink. Its not even that I find it annoying, its just that its a hell of a squick for me so its difficult to find something that doesn’t include that and surprise daddy kink is not where I’m at as a person. Granted most people warn for it, which I’m grateful for, but it does permeate the fandom in a way that makes it a pain in the ass to find something I want. And honestly that’s really only it, and its more of a personal preference (seriously, no hate to anyone who likes that- you’re clearly all in good company lol, its just not for me) than an actual annoyance.

things I look for in fanfic:

I’m really picky about how I like Tony written. I’ve been writing the character for years now and fell into my own habits with him, though I do get pretty consistent compliments on how I write him so I’ll assume I do an okay job. But the result is that I have a hard time when people write him in ways I don’t like or wouldn’t write myself. Sometimes its just random squicks that pop up in a story, or sometimes I outright dislike the way he’s written. That said I do find that the starker fandom does the things I hate with Tony’s characterization in fic much less.

This, I think, is primarily due to the fact that he’s made the more dominant one in the relationship always (and people treating top/bottom like its a fucking dominance thing is something that annoys me in general mostly because its built on the misogynistic idea that being penetrated is being dominated but also because sex positions aren’t a fucking personality trait but I digress). As per my previous rant I don’t care for the idea of the ‘top’ being the dominating one based on that alone, but I do like that people writing Tony in that way reduces the amount of Wuss Tony fics in the fandom. Actually, I don’t think I’ve read a single one like that. Its my Number One I Hate That in other MCU pairings, making Tony some weak little waif in need of protecting. Though I gotta admit I don’t care for Peter in that position either- clearly he’s capable and able, please don’t turn him into the wuss. Bonus points if everyone thinks he’s soft but then oh no he’s actually dangerous shit lmao.

Still though, my pickiness over how the character is written can sometimes hinder my ability to enjoy a fic.

My kinks:

Bro finding an entire fandom who likes feminizing dudes if fucking mint. I have my issues with the term, but I do feel men get the ass end of the stick when it comes to aesthetics and the easiest solution is to stick them in aesthetically pleasing shit and if that’s women’s clothing and lingerie so be it lmao. I also like the kind of gender bending that goes on in that too, I find it subversive in a way that doesn’t need to be spoken aloud if I want to swing it that way, or flat out more pleasing to imagine. Seriously, men’s clothing is boring as fuck so skirts? I’m here for it. Though I wish there was more fem!Tony stuff in the starker fandom- its actually something I write a lot of when I write him in other pairings (particularly winteriron).

Other than that I’m a big fan of anything sensation play related. So ice play, things fucking about with heat, sometimes electric play stuff, taking away someone’s senses (blind folds, bondage, blocking out hearing in some way- that type of thing). Things like feathers are nice too. I’m also fond of gags, preference for ball gags or impromptu cleave gags. Theoretically soft dom stuff though I will never understand why bondage is considered not terribly kinky. I know a lot of people are into it but the idea of trusting someone enough to tie me up and actually listen if I decide I want out of it? I have too many trust issues to relate lmao. But it does make for a good bit of fiction as I’m sure some of you have noticed in my writing (given that I do love to write some kinky stuff). If you want something sex related specifically for whatever reason public sex gets my goat, not sure why because if I were a random passerby I’d be pretty fucking annoyed at the people in the bathroom but hey, whatever floats your boat on the page, right lmao.

I’ve thought about some more extreme things too, knife play and toying with things like fear being two of those things. But I’d have to have the right opportunity and context to work them in.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Well, Tony is dead so. I would have preferred him with literally anyone but Pepper though. He literally had more romantic chemistry with Rhodey (who I do incidentally ship him with). But the MCU is bunch of cowards so clearly they would never end up together. But they’d make a better pairing than him and Pepper, in my opinion.

Peter I’m fine with him being with MJ, I like them together on screen and I really like her character. If not her than Ned would also be a good pairing for him!

My happily ever after for them:

Well we gunna have to unkill some people but that’s what fanfic is for, right? Beyond that because I prefer AUs so much their happily ever after will depend entirely upon what universe I’ve imagined up for them :)

#spider answers

4 notes · View notes

cherrymoonvol6 · 5 years

Text

i think... i’ve been thinking way too much about steve in endgame and i really need to put this somewhere so i stop ranting about this to no one in my bedroom at 3 am.

i don’t think it was purposefully done but i did see some sort of parallels between steve and tony’s arcs in this movie (and tbh i don’t think steve has any sort of arc in this movie but eh, i will talk about that later). because in both times they get lucky and have the prospect of living a happy life without having to worry about the rest of the world.

in tony’s case, i think it works perfectly. tony has gone through so much character development during the whole mcu, from being motivated by selfishness to fear to guilt. but even without looking into the mcu, what he chooses to do plays so well into his arc in this movie. at the start of endgame we see him as a tired man who doesn’t want to work with the avengers anymore because of their incapability of doing what he wants to do the most, which is put an armor around the world and protect as much people as they can. great continuity, given his decision making progress in civil war and also including the fact that he’s lost his surrogate son.

so what happens with tony in endgame? when we learn about what he’s done in the past five years we see he has retired, he has a family and is living his dream that he teased in both age of ultron and infinity war (live on the outskirts with pepper and have a child of his own). and the movie tells us explicitly: tony got lucky. he has pepper, he has happy, he has rhodey, he has morgan. but turns out the avengers come to him because they found a way to make everything right and tony is the only one able to help them. and he says no, because he doesn’t want to lose what he’s got, the life he has built on these five years. and once tony figures out the time heist and realizes he can help, he says to pepper, he could throw all of that in a box into the lake and pepper tells him, “would you be able to rest?”. and because we know who tony is, this man who above everything wants to make this world a safe place from every threat possible in outer space, we know what the answer is.

steve, on the other hand, is faced with this choice at the end of the movie. we can already see him realizing what the possibilities of time travel mean to him when he sees peggy through the blinds in the 70s: he’s gotten lucky, too. they win the war and everyone comes back, and he gets to live his life the way he wants it. but it’s too late for anyone to talk him out of it, to ask him if he’ll be able to rest, live in a world where he KNOWS peggy works for a corrupted organization and hydra is still alive and well and his best friend, the one he used to shock his younger self earlier in the movie, is a brainwashed murderous assasain.

i think what i’ve really tried to do since i watched the movie again like a month ago is try to see this from every angle possible, to fit their personalities and motivations into each decision... and i still have trouble with steve, the man who fought for everything that’s right and could do it all day, the man who stood up alone with a broken shield to face the biggest army in the universe because that was the right thing to do, choosing to leave the timeline where he’s won all the battles and go back to a simpler time that is no longer simple.

and i think the russos really tried to foreshadow his decision, with the returning of The Compass™ and the little bit of steve looking at peggy in 1970, speechless. and all memes aside it’s not a batshit crazy idea for steve to go back to a safe place on his mind, a mental place where thing were more black and white and he was just a guy who wanted to fight bullies, and go back to peggy. it’s not a crazy idea and it really talks to us about how deeply affected steve is from the events of the last movie. but honestly... just pushing these whole “oh boohoo i miss peggy so much :( i would love to see her again :(” thing is very out of nowhere considering the person that steve is, after all that’s happened.

in tfa we meet steve, this guy who just wants to fight for what’s right because that’s who he is, a guy who needs to prove himself, his honesty and his soul, to the people who doubt he’ll be enough to stop hydra. but in many senses he doesn’t have any sort of arc in this movie (not that he needs to, the plot is enough for it to work). he starts as a guy who does what he thinks he’s right, and ends up as a guy who does what he thinks it’s right. the same thing happens with avengers and i think it works pretty well, because both movies do a well job in establishing steve as a character, and then leave room for further movies to play into that. and tws does that spectacularly, putting him obeying orders from a corrupted organization and what happens when steve, who fights for what he deems good, realizes he’s been working for hydra all this time? it’s an excellent way to destroy his worldview and realize that there’s more greys into this world and what’s good and bad. aou also puts him on a similar place, with ultron saying he’s a man out of time and the vision (ha) of peggy telling him to imagine a world without war... which he can’t. a movie that explicitly ends up telling us that steve is a different man than the guy he was on tfa, and he doesn’t want what clint has, what tony wants. they put a nice little bow on his development in civil war, with him rightfully being against following orders from an organization, and at the end of the movie telling tony that he puts his faith on individuals and not organizations.

so you would think this would go the other way. you would think steve will finally learn to live on this world after being here for twelve years, after building relationships and shattering his worldview and creating a new one, you would think he’s up for living in this world that he’s helped building, in some way. you would think when you watch the start of endgame and see steve telling natasha he doesn’t move on that his arc will be about finally moving on!!!

but then it doesn’t happen.

and i get that the russos wanted to give steve the ending he deserves, that they love the character and want him to finally be happy and be in the place he belongs. and i really don’t want to hop in this terrible tumblr trend of shredding to pieces this movie because you didn’t like some aspects of it, because it’s genuinely great and given its plot and concept it shouldn’t even work at ALL and the mcu is the most consistently good movie franchise we’ve ever gotten, but i can’t get behind that. because how come tony’s ending wraps up perfectly his arc while having weighty consequences for him and the people he loves, and they couldn’t do the same for cap?

and they could’ve do that. yeah, have steve looking at the compass before taking on a villain that has absolutely nothing to do with peggy or her death or ANYTHING related to his past, i don’t care, it’s a nice reminder that steve comes from a different time and he’s trying to stay grounded on the better times when everything has gone wrong. but you could’ve reminded us that steve also lost people during the snap. you could’ve reminded us during the same scene in which steve whines about peggy to gay joe russo that these conversational therapy groups were sam’s thing, and he’s following his steps, and sam MATTERS to him (instead of just being like “hey sam you’re kinda a helluva guy here take my shield you’re cap now” while sam couldn’t have proven he’s fitted for being the next cap during the movie because he’s been dead for the first two acts and we’ve barely seen him on the third). have steve empathize with natasha’s worry and sadness over what clint has become through him mentioning bucky and that bucky MATTERS to him (instead of bucky being used as a tool to win a fight against his younger self). have steve meet bucky and sam, talk to them during the big fight, hell, anything with them.

you don’t get to use tony as the reason for steve to finally make the decision to go back, when tony ended up doing the exact opposite of what he told steve: he joined the fight because that’s what he is, a man who can not rest until everyone is safe. and steve’s character has way more reasons to realize that going back to a woman who he met when he was a naive, goody-two-shoes guy that he absolutely isn’t anymore isn’t the best thing to do.

it could’ve been great, have steve be a man who doesn’t know how to live in this world and doesn’t want to move on, finally learning how to let go from the past and have his happy ending in a world that is no longer strange to him, but his world. but that possibility is now erased from the mcu and i’ll forever be bitter for that.

#marvel #avengers endgame #captain america #steve rogers #tony stark #sam wilson #bucky barnes #and this isnt even about it but #stucky #watch this get two notes #anyways come talk to me about this

47 notes · View notes

timeisacephalopod · 6 years

Note

Hi 'tis I the thunderiron whore.....😂 So for the au fic ask otp thunderiron with yellow color please.

Yellow= dragon/ shapeshifter AU

“Does anyone know what Thor’s form is?” Tony asks.

Natasha shrugs, painting her nails in disinterest. Steve looks like a confused eagle, fitting considering his shifter form is an eagle. And he’s born on the fourth of July. And his favorite color combination happens to be red, white, and blue. He resents being so violently American considering he has a long list of problems with the country but everyone else thinks its funny. Especially considering his best friend is named after two US presidents. Guy was basically set up to be the most American American in the country.

Rhodey rolls his eyes though, “what’s it matter? He’s not topping dragon for cool forms, you’ve got pretty much everyone except the five other dragons in the world beat,” he points out.

Yeah, Tony was annoyed with that. He used to be the only one but then Wakanda showed up drunk to the party with four more dragons so screw them. Even if he thinks Shuri is the best and, for the first time maybe ever, he finally gets the opportunity to learn about engineering from someone else. Also, her dragon form is black and silver and its totally badass. His is red and gold, not yellow, gold. He and Shuri did a photoshoot once just because they look awesome standing next to each other. Thor has like fifty of the pictures taped to his wall because apparently he can’t be assed to buy frames. Which, that’s Thor for you.

“Yeah, but we’re all shifters and we know everyone’s form but his. We even know Loki’s,” he points out.

“That’s because Loki has tried to eat no less than five of us as a wolf,” Clint says.

“Well, whatever it is it can’t be worse than Clint being a gold fish,” Bucky says.

“Actually Scott being an ant is absolutely worse.” He didn’t even know that was possible, being an insect in another form. It is, obviously, but its exceedingly rare- almost dragon rare. Which really does make being an ant that much more insulting. Imagine having one of the most rare shifter forms in the world but you’re an ant. Tony would kill himself in shame. Probably by drowning in a cup because he wants to go out dramatically. Rhodey would probably fish him out though.

“Yeah, imagine being a dingo. People keep fucking screaming ‘a dingo ate my baby!’ at me,” Rhodey says, imitating the terrible Australian accent that often gets thrown his way.

“People keep trying to harvest my scales by either breaking into my house or straight up trying to harpoon me so,” Tony shrugs. “I don’t think you have it the worst.”

“Okay, but what if Thor has like. A super embarrassing form?” Natasha says, turning to Tony. “As his boyfriend you’re legally obligated to suck his dick and find out, immediately reporting to us that he’s a plankton or something.”

“I think he could be something more embarrassing than that,” Bucky says. “Like a jellyfish.”

Clint frowns, “jellyfish are cool.”

Bucky’s eyebrows draw together, “jellyfish have no brains,” he tells him.

“Oh, so that’s what your form is then,” Clint says, snickering.

“Clint, you’ve literally pet me outside the VA. You know I’m a chocolate lab,” Bucky says, confused.

Clint looks confused and a little horrified. “Wait, the one armed lab outside the VA is you?” he asks and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“How many one armed vets do you know that go to that specific VA that are also chocolate labs, Clint? Yeah the fucking dog is me. Explains the weird baby talk thing you do but I ignored it because you pet ears good,” he mumbles.

Rhodey smacks a palm to his forehead and sighs. “Can’t be worse than people trying to pet you,” Tony points out. “Only the Australians know the danger of the dingo.”

“Yeah, true, but also I don’t bite. I’m not a savage,” he says.

Yeah, he only bites if he gets real pissed off and of the five times he’s bitten someone there’s an eighty percent chance it was Justin Hammer. Fifth time goes to Obadiah and it hadn’t been pretty. He should be lucky it was Rhodey over Pepper because he’s seen her hunt as a cougar, she’s fucking terrifying and she wouldn’t have taken Obadiah down like Rhodey had, she would have straight up eviscerated him. She genuinely doesn’t like job hunting so she probably wouldn’t take too kindly to her boss and also best friend being murdered.

“This is why I like being a dragon,” Tony says, “no one walks up to a house sized lizard and thinks ‘hmm, looks like my friend’s gecko I’ll pet it.’ One of the few perks, aside from looking totally badass.” Downside? People try to kill him a lot because dragons scales are the most valuable material on this planet. Next up goes to vibranium. He doesn’t much care for being more valuable than vibranium.

Natasha rolls her eyes at them. “Suck Thor’s dick. Find out what he is. Tell everyone,” she tells him. “That’s your mission, go get it done.”

Tony curls up with Thor watching some backing show he doesn’t give a shit about but Thor’s into it. Tony doesn’t mind because he makes really good sweet tarts and Tony likes fruits more than most other things. Not surprising, considering his form.

“How come I’ve never seen your animal form? I’ve seen Loki’s but not yours,” he points out. Subtlety isn’t his thing and he doesn’t think sucking Thor’s dick will put him in a better mood, he’s almost never in a bad mood to begin with. Unless Loki has done something to fuck him up, or on the rare occasion Hela appears dressed like she killed her husband for his money and she’s ready to kill her family for theirs too. Which is surprisingly likely. Tony finds it weird that, technically, Thor is the black sheep of the family. His older sister? Dark hair, mental issues, ready to kill at a moment’s notice. Loki? Technically adopted, but has dark hair, mental issues, and is also ready to kill at a moment’s notice. Thor? Blonde, always chipper, and is the human embodiment of being a ray of sunshine.

“You’ve seen my form,” Thor mumbles, avoiding the subject in such an obvious way that even Tony can’t miss it.

“Thor. No I haven’t. And your brother tried to eat me twice, so you can’t be worse than that,” he says. His guess? Thor is a lab but he’s self conscious about it because labs are a popular dog form. Usually golden labs, chocolate labs and other color variations like Bucky’s are more unusual. But that’s his theory, that Thor has a common form that he’s embarrassed about and that’s why no one has seen him in his shifter body.

“It is,” Thor says, looking away in embarrassment.

“Dude. Clint’s a fucking goldfish. If he’s not standing in a dish of water when he changes he’ll die. There is no way you have it worse than that. And Steve’s form just goes to make him even more violently American. And people consistently try to kill me. We’ve all got weird shit going on, I’m sure your fine. Honestly the only ones who don’t have weird things going on are Natasha because lynx cats aren’t exactly interesting and Bucky, because labs are cute. Even Rhodey has it strange with people accusing him of eating babies.” He so resents being a dingo of all things and its worse because he looks exactly like a dog. A weird dog, but a dog. Children try to pet him sometimes and generally it results in a ‘do not for the love of god pet a dingo’ lessons just in case they bump into an actual dingo.

Thor sighs, “you have to promise not to laugh,” he says.

“If you’re like a chinchilla or something they’re cute,” Tony tells him. “And soft.”

“I’m not a chinchilla,” Thor mumbles, prodding Tony to get out of his lap so he does. Thor pulls himself off the couch and walks over to a clear spot in the living room.

There’s many things Tony would have expected, but none are what he finds. He doesn’t laugh as he leans over and calls Thor over, grinning as he happily trots over and lets Tony pick him up.

Natasha’s phone rings and she frowns as she looks at the video call from Tony but she answers it. “Say hello to Thor,” he says, pointing the phone at…

“Is that a chihuahua?” Clint asks.

Thor looks at Tony, then the phone, and back to Tony with a betrayed look on his face before he lets out a vicious growl and launches his tiny body at Tony’s phone. The call drops and they all stare at Natasha’s phone for a moment. “Well, he’s dead,” she says after a moment. “I call dibs on his sports cars.”

“Dibs on the baseball memorabilia,” Steve says.

“I want the mansion,” Clint says.

“Dibs on the suits,” Carol says and frowns when the guys give her a funny look. “What? We’re the same size and he wears Gucci. I’ve always wanted a Gucci suit and I think I’d look better in them than he does.”

“Beware the boob gap with the button downs though,” Natasha says and Carol groans.

“Ugh, the fucking boob gap! I’ll figure it out.”

“Excuse you,” Rhodey says. “I am his best friend so I get dibs on all his shit. I want the red Ferrari, I don’t give a shit about baseball so Steve can still have all that, fuck you Clint I get the mansion and the lab in the basement, Carol you can have his suits because everyone else is taller than him so no one will fit into his clothes anyway. And before the rest of you call dibs on anything it goes through me you damn vultures.”

When Tony shows up at the door he doesn’t look happy. “Since you legally obligated me to figure out what Thor’s form was you’re officially legally obligated to house me while I’m in the dog house post violent chihuahua attack,” Tony tells Natasha.

She shrugs and lets him in. Clint snorts, “well its not Thor’s dog house you’re in, you can’t fit inside,” he says, snickering at his own joke.

“Shit, I’ll be honest. I’m not even sure Sam could fit inside and he’s a bird so. Yeah, poor guy really got fucked over,” Rhodey says, shaking his head.

“Still not worse than Scott,” Tony says and everyone shakes their heads.

“Nah, being that big and intimidating as a person and that small and useless as a shifter? That’s the worst. You wouldn’t get it because you’re so tiny,” Carol says and Tony glares at her.

“Oh fuck off, we’re the same size!” he snaps.

Carol shrugs, “yeah, but spiritually I’m much taller.”

#Thunderiron #tony x thor #shifter au #fanfiction

119 notes · View notes

caps-clever-girl · 5 years

Text

i just rly rly want nebula to be adopted into tony’s ironfam

• she and tony play games like they did while they were stranded, and he teaches her all kinds of new ones. she never allows him to let her win, even the ones shes awful at, because that is no way to learn. tony lets her help him in the lab; he asks for her input on things because he knows she has a lot of knowledge on this stuff she clearly hasn’t had the chance to show before, and he teaches her so much that she doesnt know. they spend long hours talking about differences between technology and the differences and advancements between cultures. he teaches her about earth, she tells him of all he things shes seen on different planets. she befriends the bots, because they are easy to understand, once you get used to how they communicate, and are judgement-free and infinately easier to interract with than people. tony becomes as much of a paternal figure for her as he does a friend - not that she has any idea. thanos is her only idea of a paternal figure, after all.

• nebula finds it difficult to get along with pepper at first. pepper is very welcoming, but she is also very different from nebula, especially in terms of femininity. in the past, all the women nebula has come into contact with were either hardened like herself, quiet or gruff or in some ways broken, or they were people in her way. its... an adjustment to hang around a woman who isnt gamora. nebula finds it difficult to talk to her at first and a lot of their initial interraction consists of pepper reaching out and not getting much back, because nebs doesnt know how to react. eventually though she settles down and learns how to talk to her, and discovers that its nice to talk to someone who isnt constantly surrounded by war and death. but there is still a steel to pepper, and a sharp, strategic mind. once nebula discovers that, everything becomes a lot easier. there are enough similarities for her to have some footing, but enough differences to be a relief.

• she and rhodey bond over their disabilities and assistful gear. they talk body mods, sometimes, and nebula gives him options for implants, if he wants. most of the time though, its just chill. she appreciates his style of humour and his intelligence, and the fact that he thibks tony is as big a dumbass as she does. plus lets be real “oh so he’s an idiot” won her over pretty much there and then.

• she comes into contact with peter a lot, and eventually becomes that really weird aunt-type person who comes to care for this exceptionally stupid human child. she has no clie whatsoever about how to bond with him, and they dont talk much. or at least, nebula doesnt. but peter gets that for the most part and happily talks enough for two untill shes comfortable enough to join in more. they bond over talking shop, and nebula ends up getting pretty protective of the kid, even though she watched him fall over trying to tie his shoelaces and nearly give himself a concussion yesterday.

• happy is also part of the Take The Piss Out Of Tony squad alongside rhodey. she doesnt think they have much to talk about at first, aside from their fierce protective feelings for peter - which they’re obviously not going to talk about. she warms to him though, and finds that not having anything to talk about means they can talk about Anything. then start small, at first, just the odd question every now and then, but after a while they have hours long coversations over a casual drink just chatting about random stuff. its nice to have a friend who’s not nececerily for something; happy doesn’t fit a role - not for anything other than ‘friend’, and she didnt realise she was missing that until she had it.

#marvel #avengers #nebula #tony stark #dad!tony #peter parker #spiderman #happy hogan #pepper potts #james rhodes #rhodey #txt #hc #squeak.txt

46 notes · View notes

msppctts · 5 years

Photo

tony ( @snarkofstark ) and pepper’s story consists of so many ups and downs. the two of them have spent half their lives together and there’s nothing they don’t know about each other at this point. beginning to work for tony had been quite an adventure. becoming his PA rather happened on accident as she threatened happy with her pepper spray. back then, she had impressed tony with her courage and her mathematical knowledge. she, on the other hand, respected him for his skills, for his visions, even if she didn’t actually support the weapons manufacture. the job was still great. it had been difficult to deal with tony in the beginning, he didn’t make her life easier with the life he lead. all those women, all the parties, tony sure knew how to get her stress level high. it took her a few months to properly adjust to her position but eventually, she knew how to handle certain situations.

once her job became easier, it was also easier to adjust to tony. primarily, he was her boss, nothing else. however, pepper did spend a lot of time getting to know tony, the real tony, not what the media got to see. she spent her time befriending him. soon, they began to talk to each other more casually, including some bantering. pepper still considered tony to be an asshole regarding his playboy life but it took her a couple more years to realize just why. as tony’s PA, it was her job to manage his life, of course, she would get close to him. he easily became her best friend next to rhodey and happy but eventually, she fell in love with him. pepper has been in love with him since a few years before afghanistan. while she had never admitted it to anyone, it was clear by the way she acted around his one night stands. she hated them all for having been this close to him, she even hated him for caring about one nights stands more than he cared about her, or so she thought. in fact, pepper had been more to him than just a fling and therefore he didn’t want to ruin things with her. meanwhile, rhodey and happy already knew they had a thing for each other but never really said anything about it ...

pepper has always been the best thing to happen to tony. she managed his life, accepted him the way he was, and she has always been loyal to him. it was easy to forget that he was still her boss and she couldn’t act on her feelings the way she wanted to and so it became more obvious to other people that they had a thing for each other. pepper gave it away as word reached her that tony was missing. she lost it completely and had a breakdown (in private) but she firmly believed he would come back (to her). she refused to work for stane during that time, kept working for tony without having an actual boss around. it was the one thing she could do to keep herself busy, to convince herself he would come back. and she had been his lifeline as well. while being apart, they helped each other through that time without even knowing.

their relationship changed completely when he came back. they both noticed it but it wasn’t until the two of them were dancing at the fundraiser that they did something about it. tony and pepper kissed for the first time that night, and ever since that event, they have been a couple though they kept it a secret for a year. eventually, they had to announce to the public that they were, in fact, a couple when pepper found out she was pregnant in late 2009. the pregnancy had been unplanned but pepper had been eager to keep the child. they talked about it the whole night when she told him about it and decided to raise the child. in 2010, she gave birth to their first child: maria. they decided not to get married yet, tho maria already got his last name. tony had been worried about being a father, thinking he wouldn’t be good enough but pepper knew he would be a brilliant father. in the beginning, pepper did a lot to support tony so that he could actually believe her. she had been nervous about being a mother but she knew with him by her side she would be okay.

in 2012, pepper gave birth to their second child: margaret. unlike maria, maggie had been planned as they wanted for their eldest child to have a sibling. it had been quite an adventure to raise them because they were so different. many night, tony and pepper were absolutely exhausted but they both agreed it was worth it. in 2013, before the events with killian, pepper gave birth to their third and most unique child, judith. with her blonde hair, media tried to question if tony truly was the father but tony knew better. of course they joked about it though. they had a hard time dealing with all the media spreading rumors but it only brought them closer together. --- pepper found out she was pregnant once again after tony cured her of extremis. she had first been worried that their child might have been affected by extremis in some way but fortunately, that hadn’t been the case. still, tony had to calm her for quite some time until it was 100% clear there had been no harm done. helen was born in 2014. rose followed in 2015 after the events around ultron. by now, they were experts at parenting and knew perfectly well how to handle the situation.

both had been surprised to hear they were expecting a son in 2017. anthony jr was ther first (and only) son, much to tony’s pleasure. pepper was rather angry when she found out he named their son anthony as she wanted him to have a differnt name. she thought having his father’s name might be a burden to him as it came with great expectations. she didn’t want their son to feel forced to be something he wasn’t. they had a long discussion about it and for a while, their relationship was strained. it didn’t last too long though.

when strange took tony in 2019, pepper had been meaning to tell tony she was pregnant once again, expecting twins. the girls, piper and elyse, had been born while tony was in space, he met them for the first time as soon as he was well enough to handle the situation. throughout the pregnancy, pepper had been worried she might have to raise their kids on her own, now knowing if tony was still alive. for her children, pepper stayed strong and didn’t let them know about her fears. yet, she had refused to sleep alone and always had at least one of the children sleeping in her bed.

once he had been fine to leave, tony build the farm he had promised pepper and the family moved into the secluded home. it was the life pepper had always imagined to have one day, a loving husband, wonderful children. everything was perfect. as if they had yet been missing the last piece to complete perfection, morgan was born in 2021 as the last child of tony and pepper. --- tony had been injured during the battle of earth and it had been a tough time for the family. pepper and the kids did everything they could to assure tony they still loved him and needed him and that he couldn’t give up. pepper still loved her husband more than anything and made it clear to him she still wanted him.

throughout the years, they gathered several cats for their family, perfect for their life on the farm. in addition to the cats, pepper bought and alpaca in 2023 because it reminded her of tony. as it was his gift, tony got to name it; something she would later regret.

tony and pepper have been through many ups and downs throughout their relationship but it all just brought them closer together. neither of them believes they could ever love anyone else as much as they love each other ever again.

#ღ | pepper x tony #ℛ | headcanon #snarkofstark #WOW THIS GOT SO LONG #but this is so important #it's bascially this blog's canon

5 notes · View notes