#the origin of the word is hilarious

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[luneariann]

[oh-no-its-bird]

I kind of ended up w a small pile of Hatake ocs and lore to fill the early konoha timeline void, and a big thing is like. They all die to preserve the narrative. A lot of them very young bc again, made to fill the time line, so logically, there had to be some Hatake kids/teenagers who met an unfortunate end.

So I'm kinda sitting here considering a 4 part fic where each chapter revolves around a specific Hatake and their inevitable death, w maybe a bonus chapter at the end being about Sakumo

"Death of the Wolves," the unfortunate end of the Hatake's, told in 4 parts

The Hatake's helped set the Konoha standard rule of "a team can only be made up of so many % of one clan" (with special exceptions) after a large chunk of them got sent on a mission together bc of their specializations and all wound up dead, wiping out a solid 90% of the clan in one night.

Actually, expanding on that bc the tragedy is so good -> I already established that in my time line, the Hatake head, Haruka (Sakumo's mother, Tobirama and Hashirama's aunt) died under a week after Tobirama's death, and she would have lead that failed mission. Does that mean one of Hiruzen's first acts as war time Hokage resulted in the accidental slaughter of his beloved dead Sensei's mother's clan? That's amazing actually, so much drama there. I bet him Danzo and Kagami argued like crazy after that monumental fuck up, probably went on to define how he feels ab being Hokage / what that entails. Fun times!

Anyways, I'd also be very interested in exploring early konoha politics n stuff. Especially from the multiple views of not the people in charge of making the village but the ones who are living in it. The view from the ground up, instead of looking down from the tower. The younger generations being brought to this new village, going from their isolated clan lands to suddenly being surrounded by others their age from different clans, possible for the first time ever depending on their age and their clans level of secrecy.

Also, I really wanna poke at the outsider pov of Madara and other founders— but mostly Madara bc I find his downfall very fun to think about, especially from the POV of someone not in his clan.

I'm so in love w the take of the Hatake's being fond of Madara bc "he'd make a very good Hatake." Something about the two tropes of the Uchiha being a clan that loves love and the Hatake being a clan w similar values when it comes to family and loyalty just meshes so well.

Comedy moment where Haruka is weirdly insistent on Madara potentially marrying into the clan, not even for the politics or anything but specifically bc she NEEDS a cute squishy Hatake baby with his massive hair. She NEEDS IT, MADARA.

Anyways also just the early konoha inter clan drama but like. From the eyes of the clan kids. The Uchiha kids seem to be having some sort of terf war with the Senju— but it was interrupted by the Hyuuga, and now the Senju and Uchiha kids are somehow banding together against the Hyuuga? But oh no now the Nara kids are teaming up w the Hyuuga, and the Hatake kid (singular bc there's literally only like 1) seems to have an actual blood feud going on with the Hyuuga clan heir— but the older Hatake teenagers are fond of the Hyuuga's baby clan heir so it's just a mess. All the clan drama but with none of the tragedy bc everyone involved is a child.

Meanwhile the older clan members are somehow bonding over their children's fights bc they're all struggling to pull them away, or going "what the fuck do you mean you teamed up with the SENJU??" Then sharing a disbelieving Look(tm) w the opposing Senju's parents before realizing what they just did and having a crisis of faith ab it

Meanwhile the teenagers are having a wonderful time, especially those from smaller more isolated clans like the Hatake. There's so much romantic drama, there's probably a whole shinobi soap opera happening in that direction. Hormonal shinobi teenagers from opposing clans just got dropped into the same dating pool it's gonna be a MESSSS.

Even funnier if you take crumbs from my senju weed empire au and like. Some of these clans regularly smoke n stuff. Meanwhile other clans have never touched a psychedelic in their life. Some are especially vulnerable to drugs due to heightened senses (Orochi, Inuzuka, Hatake) while others have been smoking since they were younger and have an insane tolerance and very much distorted views of a reasonable amount of weed to smoke (Senju, Nara, Shiranui) There is no way in hell that goes well. Someone is going to get fucked up in a MAJOR way.

Well-intentioned Nara accidentally gets a bunch of dog wired guys and one snake high out of their fucking minds, the high lasts a full week for some of them and one sometimes wonders if they ever really came down from it

Anyways I got a bit off track but yeah! Early Konoha fic that revolves around the daily lives of differently aged Hatake ocs, taking a look from different angles of Konoha and all the silly clan drama and daily lives of an early Konoha shinobi— each chapter being different degrees of generally lighthearted, but ending in the Hatake's death. The fact that each Hatake is in with a different crowd and is a different age would make it even more fun and easier to explore the different layers Konoha has to offer! It's for sure on my list of things I wanna write

(Also I'd really love to have it just so I can point to it as a good introduction for my Hatake ocs. I love tricking people into learning ab my ocs it's great)

[thepringlesofblood]

[image id: the two hands shaking meme. one arm is labeled “colin provolone” and one is labeled “cumulous rocks”. on top of the clasped hands are 2 pictures of John Mulaney, who is labeled ‘zac oyama PC’, saying (in subtitles) “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.” /end id]

[your-subby-creature]

Having "BOY" carved into your back by someone who just beat the shit out of you is basically DIY gender affirming surgery

[miss-celestia13]

For Fun! Scottish Smut 😌

I wrote this ages ago as a joke for my friends, a smut scene written in Scottish slang! After all, all Scottish people are bilingual 🤣 I just discovered it in my notes as I was cleaning them out and thought I’d share it here for the laugh. I hope it makes you chuckle because it won’t set your knickers on fire 😂

Without further ado;

Jimmy and Senga’s mad night oot!

Words: 585

What some words mean:

Swalleys - swallows

Boattle - Bottle

Stoatin - stumbling

Spunked - Cummed

Tadger - Cock

Pump - Fuck/Sex/shag - rumpy-pumpy means the same thing!

Fanny - Cunt

Bean - Clit

I just had a full body cringe typing that last one, so you can figure the rest out or ask me if you get confused🤣

They wur passin the boattle ae Bucky between thum. Takin huge swalleys as they walked hame fae the pub. Stoatin’ aboot like a clumsy gazelle oan her primark special high heels, Senga wiz clingin’ tae Jimmys arm while he grabbed hur arse, and whispered sweet nuttins in hur ear.

“Jist you wait tae we git hame, doll. I’m gonnae pump you rotten.”

He always kent jist whit to say to make her knickers wet. No that she wiz wearing any. He’d gied her a gid wee finger poking in the pub loo’s jist afore they wur kicked oot for arguin way the barman when he widnae serve thum anymare vodka ridbulls. She’d loast thum somewhere ‘atween the mens loos and the bar. Stumblin upti the frunt door, Jimmy drapped hur keys twice afore he managed tae unlock it and dragged hur in.

He hud hur shoved against the door afore she kent what wiz happenin. Jimmy gied hur the sloppiest kiss ar hur life, tastin like drink, and regret as he forced his tongue doon hur throat. The hawf empty boattle ae Buckfast clattured tae the flair as he shoved a haund up her skurt and poked aboot until he foond her bean and gied it a wee flick so she jumped.

“Cannae wait any longer, doll.” He said, breath soaked in Bucky.

“Dinnae then, i wanted yeh tae shag me back at the pub.” She replied as he hiked hur skurt oer hur hips and pulled his hard tadger oot ae his best trackie bottoms.

She wiz soon oan hur knees in the hallway, Jimmy grabbed haud ae hur hips afore he pushed inside her wet fanny, sayin’ filthy hings as she shouted in surprise.

“Yer jist a wee durty. Ye’ll no be able tae walk the morra.”

Usually, when it came tae the auld rumpy-pumpy, Jimmy wiz a two-pump-chump in bed, bit when he hud a drink in him, he lasted at least ten and she’d only coonted two so far.

“Shut yer moof and dae it then.” She said and yelped when he smacked her arse and thrust harder.

Jimmy laughed as she pushed back tae make him go fastur and called him a useless basturt when he slowed right doon insteid.

“Calm doon wuman, a ken whit am dain!”

He did and he didnae. She’d coonted seven thrusts noo, and kent he didnae hae much left in him, so she took maetturs intae hur ain haunds and balanced oan wan elbay so she could fiddle wae hur bean. Jimmy was gruntin and groanin, sweaty haunds slidin oer hur arse as he loast all sense ae rhythm. A flew flicks and she wiz almost there, fingurs moving so quick as Jimmy pounded intae her fanny once, twice, and she felt her fanny flutter aroond his tadger jist afore he spunked in her.

There wiznae fireworks or stars when she came. No wae Jimmy, bit it felt gid and her boady wiz fizzing fae the drink and orgasm. Jimmy fell oan tap ae hur and crushed her intae the carpet. She wiznae comfy, but couldnae be arsed movin noo. And so Jimmy and Sengas mad night oot ended wae them both passed oot in hur hallway. Senga couldnae mind if he’d locked the door. Ah well, any cunt that tried to burgul thum wid be in fur a shoack when they foond thum bare arsed and covered in spunk. The thoat sent hur tae sleep wae a grin oan her face.

……………*

Oh, fuck me gently 🤣 I forgot how bad it is and I’m crying laughing that I’m posting it here 😂 hope it made you giggle or smile, at the least 🤭❤️

[teddy-bear-d]

My favourite flavour of desert duo screenshots are the ones where Etho is just there, like look at this:

[anderstrevelyan]

Can anyone tell from all the Shadowheart art I've been reblogging that Valas's canon during-game-timeline romance...isn't...Astarion anymore...?

[unforth]

For the three sentence fic: wangxian or hualian, setting: in a garden!

Ah, thank you for sending a prompt! I might ultimately do both of these but all my Wangxian ideas were sex pollen so instead...

(Hualian, post-canon, fluff)

(definitely not three sentences. unedited.)

"Open your eyes." Hua Cheng's deep voice rumbled so close to Xie Lian's ear that Xie Lian could feel it as a tremble down his spine. For the barest moment, Xie Lian still didn't obey; his other senses were on high alert and even without vision he recognize how unusual this place - wherever it was - must be, for the smell was strong, beautiful, and achingly familiar. Xie Lian couldn't put his finger on what about it he knew, but in his bones, he knew this scent.

Xie Lian opened his eyes.

A field of pristine white flowers and bright spring-green leaves stretched out before them. The light breeze stirred the blossoms as they turned their faces toward the sun. There was an instant when Xie Lian didn't understand the significance of the field, but then the flowers' rich aroma combined with what he saw, and he gasped.

Once, centuries ago, these flowers had carpeted the fields of Xianle every spring.

Once, centuries ago, a small boy had left a single, picked bloom as a modest offering to the flower-crowned god.

Once...

…but…

He didn't know what these blossoms were called; when he'd been crown prince of Xianle, such a small matter had been beneath his interest. And after Xianle fell, these flowers had fallen with the kingdom: Xie Lian hadn't seen a single one.

This flower had died with Xianle.

"How...?" Twisting in Hua Cheng's arms, Xie Lian turned to see his face, meeting Hua Cheng's smug look what I accomplished, gege expression with one of wonder. "Where...?" Thoughts crowded to the fore in Xie Lian, but he could hardly bare to examine most of them, much less express them. "You should be careful gifting me property," Xie Lian finally managed, trying to keep his tone light. "Aren't you afraid I'll set it on fire again?"

Xianle burned in the spring, flames climbing into the sky, smoke obscuring the stars and moon as they engulfed the city, the farms, the fields and forests.

The lovely floral scent turned rancid as the flowers burned.

Trying to suppress a shudder, Xie Lian forced his expression into a smile despite his instinct to grimace.

"Stop," murmured Hua Cheng. Smile and grimace both were subsumed by confusion that Xie Lian expressed with a head tilt. "If they make you unhappy, you can express that. I don't mind."

"No," Xie Lian exclaimed more forcefully than he meant to. Allowing a tremble to course through him, he shook his head and repeated, "no, that's not it. They're beautiful."

"But...?"

"Why aren't you afraid that I'll set them on fire again?" Xie Lian mumbled.

"Because if it burns, it burns." Hua Cheng shrugged. Xie Lian blinked at him. "And after they've burned, I'll plant them again - again and again, every time. As long as a single bulb remains, the flowers can always be regrown."

"San Lang..."

"Isn't that life, gege?" Pulling Xie Lian closer, Hua Cheng wrapped his arms around Xie Lian's waist, tucked his chin onto Xie Lian's shoulder, laid a hand flat and steady and supportive on Xie Lian's belly. "Everything burns. It's what we do after the flames have subsided that shows our character."

"By that measure, I've performed pretty dismally," said Xie Lian with an awkward chuckle.

"By that measure, by any measure, you've survived, you've endured, you've rebuilt and rebuilt over and over again," Hua Cheng countered. "And you've always done it alone. You're amazing, gege. And whatever happens, whatever burns next, I swear to you: you'll never have to sift through the ashes alone ever again."

"Oh, San Lang." Xie Lian turned just enough to smear a kiss over Hua Cheng's cheek. "I love you."

"So much, always." Hua Cheng shifted to meet a second kiss with their lips; warmth and comfort and support glowed through Xie Lian.

A breeze stirred the flowers, their rich aroma filling the air.

If it burns, it burns.

The stalks rustled against each other, making a light, pleasing, soothing sound.

What can't San Lang and I rebuild?

Sunshine dazzled over the field, rendering the white blooms incandescent, the green leaves translucent, their shared embrace hot.

As long as he's by my side, what can't we do?

And together, they bloomed.

(send me an ask with a ship and a setting/trope/kink/genre and I'll write a ficlet that will definitely not be only three sentences but will hopefully be under 1k words)

[eldritchmochi]

Hi its the anon that keeps poking you about cs again! All of those ideas are great and just so the pain of fanfic often sort of being what would be a novel first draft by being episodic, but I feel like you could so weave in a tonne of this stuff past now anyway. Especially the cane leaning, im a cane user too and I totally get it, how my partner handles my cane is just.... it feels different to anyone else. Like they get to touch my body differently to anyone else and that applies to my cane too since that really sort of a part of my body??

the inherent eroticism of ur partner touching u(r cane) i should make a zine about this lmao

rn i am considering how much if any retouching i wanna do of the existing 260k of coping skills cos yeah, the struggle of fanfic essentially being the first draft of a novel. usually it doesnt get me too bad since a) i generally fully complete a fic before posting so i do have a chance to go back and adjust things here and there & 2) i really havent ever cared to redraft something in the more traditional sense and iii) i basically never write things over 100k let alone anything substantially over 100k

one of the options im considering would involve a fairly big overhaul where i pull out the individual arcs and flesh em out with additional scenes for better pacing, and then repost as a series with shorter individual fics (with the og in tact as is, just with a note). ive had several people tell me theyve balked at the length of this damned fic, especially since its barely half done plot wise for JUST this specific already plotted chunk of the whole shebang. it has quite possibly gotten a smiiiidge out of control lmao but its been a great learning experience and i am Determined to finish it

however, i am ALSO considering filing the serial numbers off this fic once its done. i absolutely plan on redrafting the whole thing with a bunch of developmental editing work so the end result would almost certainly be a very different form of the story from the fic as it is now. im still unsure of how much of the rework i have in my head i want to put on the internet as Coping Skills: The Fic tho. its really important to me that, whatever i end up doing, i keep this monster available on the internet as a fanfic cos i am well aware of how much it means to a lot of folks

at the same time though theres a lot of backend stuff i could build into the cs2.0 idea that would make writing the rest of the story a LOT easier, which would make dev edits and redrafting easier bc ill be starting with something that has more structure, etc

theres balance somewhere i just haven't found it yet, HOWEVER im absolutely gonna be stuck til i figure it out. im a plantser when it comes to plot, im more than happy to figure out the path to a fairly nebulous endgoal, but i struggle to write stuff if i dont have a good idea of the overall structure of how i tell the story, like pattern of pov shifts and theming, which definitely got a bit away from me the last like 80k lmao

[kavaleyre]

if they didn’t want me to fall madly in love with BOTH Raoul and the Phantom they shouldn’t have had the Phantom’s first real singing part been him belting “Insolent boy, this slave of fashion”

there’s just something about the angry perversion of the soft “Angel of Music” melody and the power behind the phantom’s voice that shows how dangerous this ‘Angel’ really is. his introduction— filled with beautiful music and absolute rage and jealousy— just absolutely overtakes you.

and then when it’s mixed with the degradation of Raoul as a suitor for Christine and a man in general… the phantom isn’t entirely WRONG, of course. Raoul does very much seem to know how to get along in “proper” society. but he is also willing to die for Christine at the end of the show, so he isn’t as frivolous as the phantom wants to believe either.

it’s such a good character introduction for both of them and it just GETS ME EVERY TIME

[sparklecryptid]

re getting anon hate, these people were so enraged by *checks notes* your assertion that we should care about other people actually, that they felt the need to OPEN the ASK box and TYPE a FULL message of hate and vitrol. They spent TIME doing that!

Baffling.

I KNOW! I was out here minding my business and going ‘we should believe in science and care about others and the convoy in Ottawa is uncalled for and disrupting civilians who had no hand in policy making more than the politicians’ and this rando was like ‘HOW DARE YOU!’

Which looking back was very funny. Especially since whenever I made a vaguely left leaning post after that they would pop back into my inbox like ‘HOW DARE YOU’

Me each time that happened:

[go-k-art-er]

hey is jason king prime defenders canonically japanese or is he just like. super weeb

[moonshine-nightlight]

Should we expect another chapter of Dale this weekend, or is it next weekend?

@roolsilver

this coming weekend is officially a Dale weekend. i should have put up the next Free Piano chapter this past sunday, but i'm behind (which is why Dale basically posted an entire week late).

work is still really busy (i'm at the office right now)

my plan though is that i'm gonna prioritize Dale and then post a few off sunday Free Piano parts to get back to my original schedule for that story, hopefully within a week or two cuz i'm also trying to do nanowrimo? which is probably a mistake? and work likely isn't gonna slow down, though i'm trying to catch back up with that too

i just don't want to get behind on Dale because January-March is The Busy Season for my work and i will be on hiatus for probably all writing during those months (which i did last year and is why there was that big gap between Part 3 and Part 4 lol) it might be more mid-Jan to mid-April but still a three month hiatus

[lovecanbesostrange]

"#(also B'Elanna honey remember that technically you and Janeway and Tuvok are xBs" I keep wanting to forget that happened. And how easy they just removed the implants. Although I wish Seven got to talk to Tuvok more about that experience since he had the hardest time. #SevenTuvokBestFriend Agenda

I like that it happened. *Unimatrix Zero* was so batshit crazy on all fronts. Getting assimilated as part of the plan, relying on some fun neuro-whatever inhibitor? Hilarious. BUT it needed to have dire consequences. Something lasting. That moment when Tuvok hears the Collective and gets distracted? Fantastic. More! MORE! MAKE THEM SUFFER!

I need a better balance. I definitely want my Trek to be mostly stand-alone episodes. No season long arcs (especially not the-universe-will-explode-type-of-stuff). BUT give me constant development, build it up, make it connect more. It's VOY's biggest failing, it needed to be more like DS9 in that specific regard. Oh, I could write essays. I love the ship lost in the Delta Quadrant with all my heart and damn can I agonize about the wasted potential.

Janeway infiltrating/robbing the Borg was a fun hobby. Got really good at it. The escalation though. Ahahahahahaha. Because we didn't get to see a few lasting effects it minimized the trauma in the worst way. I like that we had the Borg kids, Icheb & Co. And it was handled well - within the format of the show - that they hadn't been with the Collective that long, still maturing, easier to get out. Icheb could also adapt to living without the whateveritscalledexactly implant in his brain that Seven needed.

On the other hand, we get S2 of PIC and suddenly Seven is full human, zero implants whatsoever and the writers missed to fully showcase this drastic change. It's more than just a few metal thingies on her face.

Anyway, back to *Unimatrix Zero* itself. Like the idea, hate the execution. They needed to lean in more into the body horror and not make it less frightening! I was so here for Tuvok to struggle mentally with this and thus talking to Seven about it. Their friendship is special.* Meanwhile let B'Elanna have more follow-up surgeries, let it take some time to get her voice back to normal. Of course the Doctor does have a lot of experience by then. Have to give him some credit there.

Edit: Wait, let me spell it out once again, because I can. B'ELANNA TORRES & SEVEN OF NINE NEEDED TO BE CLOSER FRIENDS!!!! (that's the most important message of that gif set)

[winterinthetardis]

wait I'm curious. was it the word 'chiz'? my dad always just refers to the remote as 'oon' lmao

lmaooooo nah, chiz is like....... a VERY common filler word that gets used ALL the time. i swear, i am very much fluent in farsi!! also, i realistically think chiz translates to thing, more than a "technical thingamabob." but lolol at oon... tbh same

no, the word was "masmasak" ("musmusak?" idk how to write in fingilisi...) which like honestly... i have realistically never heard anyone use that in ANY context other than about the remote control!!!!!! that's why i just thoUGHT THAT WAS THE WORD!!!!!!!